CWCki - User contributions [en]

Dimensional Merge

2019-01-01T21:37:36Z

EDit209:

{{Ongoing}}
{{Incomplete}}
:''For the video where Chris talks about the merge, see [[Dimensional Merge Announcements]].''
[[File:Dimensional Merge math on McDonalds napkin.jpg|thumb|While eating at [[McDonald's]], Chris scribbled down the math for how many people will be killed in the Merge on a napkin.]]

The '''Dimensional Merge''' is the event in which Chris believes that "Dimension 1218" and "Dimension C-197" — respectively, the universe of real life, and the universe where [[Sonichu]] and fictional characters live — will combine, [[Chris and reality|bringing fictional characters into reality.]] Chris is convinced that he is the designated liaison of the event and will become a [[Chris and religion|deity]] as a result, giving the appearance of a doomsday cult leader.

Chris [https://kiwifarms.net/posts/3862765/ announced] the event on 14 [[October 2018]] and it was expected to take place sometime in [[December 2018]]. Naturally when the date past, Chris began backpedaling but remained insistent that the Merge would occur.

== Background ==

Throughout [[2017]], Chris appeared convinced by the [[Idea Guys]] that the Sonichu and [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] universes actually existed, but in a separate dimension.

In [[July 2018]], Chris [[July 2018 social media posts#Earth 1218|tweeted]] at Marvel writer Seanan McGuire, asking him to confirm the "dimension number" of "this Earth." McGuire responded with "Earth 1218," and later clarified that this was the Marvel universe's designation for the real universe. Chris took it as gospel, and subsequently uses "1218" to refer to the actual, existing universe. Weeks later, McGuire reiterated [[August 2018 social media posts#Redesign|once again]] that everything was imaginary, but Chris' response to McGuire and various trolls indicates that he still believes that people such as McGuire can communicate with other dimensions.

Over the summer and fall of 2018, Chris met with the [[Teen Troon Squad]], people who gave him [[weed]], pretended to be possessed by Sonichu characters and that the universes would merge.

== The Merge Saga ==
[[File:Dimensional Merge on freespeechwall-min.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Chris warns downtown [[Charlottesville]] of the impending merge on its Free Speech Wall.]]

On 26 [[October 2018]], Chris posted a video entitled "[[Dimensional Merge Announcements]]" where he outlined the process of 1218 merging with its "sister dimension" C197, where [[Things Chris has ripped off|every fictional character known to exist]] resides. He believes that once the merge occurs, Earth will be shared by humans and various characters. He clarified that the merge will cause extensive loss of life on both sides, such as the deaths of almost half of Earth's population.

Naturally, he [[Chris and his ego|believes that he will be guaranteed survival]] because he "absorbed the spiral seal" from his Sega Dreamcast and is therefore the middleman between the two dimensions. He believes that himself and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] are basically deities, and that he will gain superpowers following the merge because of his belief that he is half-Sonichu.

He sent [https://archive.fo/AEDdd dozens of follow-up tweets] further detailing the process, explaining that [[Cwcville]] would replace northern [[Virginia]] and Gotham City will replace a portion of New Jersey. He explained that this will resemble a natural disaster scenario and that mass evacuations may occur during the merge.

In early [[December 2018]], Chris reported feeling [https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2018-12-10_8-12-50-png.611515/ "psychic headaches"] and associated the merge with the [https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/cwc-png.611544/ California wildfires and the romaine lettuce recall.] As the merge drew closer, he claimed to have [https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/2-png.619236/ "lightning powers"] and that the "millions of volts" of electricity in his head is evidence that he is half-Sonichu.

Without giving a time estimate for the merge, he tried to dispel doubts by [https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2018-12-22_11-41-7-png.620632/ claiming that he can "touch and feel"] [[Polyamorous marriage|Magi-Chan and Cryzel Rosechu]].

== Magi-Chan doxxing incident ==

On Christmas 2018, someone claiming to be Magi-Chan logged into Chris's Twitter, posting a Pastebin dump containing the dox of one of the Teen Troon Squad's members. They also stated that the Merge would actually take place in 20 years due to time dilation, and that Sonichu residents of C-197 would need to hibernate until then.

{{Quotebox|Hello everyone! It is I, Magi-Chan Sonichu. I read the password for this account from Chris' mind.

As you all know, the merge will be happening soon.

I currently have Lukas (my host body) in a trance, so they won't remember typing this out.

The final stage of the merge will involve everyone in our universe disconnecting from your
universe. We will go silent. We must hibernate to tug the universes together.

I have really enjoyed my time in your universe. I want to give thanks to my host body in your world, [redacted]. (Legal name: [redacted].) I want everyone to know what a
gracious host they were. Lukas and Christine and I (and some of our friends) had lots of fun
hanging out with Christine and smoking weed. We used to do it in their old house, but she just moved to a new house at [redacted]. I'm sad I won't be able to smoke weed there until after the merge. If you want to give Lukas a call to let her know how cool she is, she'd really appreciate it. Her number is [redacted].

Her mother Tara raised a brilliant young person. Her mother is also very progressive. I mean, who would have the courage to let their child spend their time smoking weed with someone like Christine, who's nearly twice their age? A really brave mother, that's who.g

Lukas is a really cool person. If you want to end up as brilliant as Lukas, you should also
spend a lot of time opening your mind by role playing and smoking weed with cool people
like Christine.

Anyhoo, praise be for my gracious host aside, here's how the merge will go down:

* everyone disconnects from Earth 1218 for a small period of time
* we hibernate
* and by the end of 2018 in our universe, the universes will be merged

Because of time dilation though, it will take a little bit longer in Earth 1218. By your human calendar in that universe, the merge should be complete by the end of 2038. 2018 here, 2038 in 1218.

In 20 short years, you should start seeing manifestations of what you people so cynically call "fictional characters". You might literally shit your panties when you see Bugs Bunny in real life! (But be polite, he looks a little rough. Makeup on television can work wonders.)

Goodbye for now!

[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|200px]]}}

Chris later dismissed the news as fake.

Naturally, New Year's Eve of 2019 was an eagerly awaited moment as the final chance for the cataclysm to occur. On January 1st of 2019, Chris spoke out on Twitter in a New Year's address, explaining that the Merge had not happened on time due to "red tape", betraying some internal bureaucracy in the process of becoming the tranny-goddess of 80s computers. He remained insistent that the event would still occur, adding in reassurances that the Sonichu-verse was still "Awake" to remind everyone of the Magi-chan doxxing's non-canon status. Only time will tell what gymnastics he will use going forward or if the Merge will drift from his thoughts like so many ideas have before.

== Relation to [[Financhu Crisis]] ==
Chris believes that he is wealthy in [[CWCville]], and that when the dimensions merge, he will have access to his money there and he able to pay off his current, real-world debts with it. He has asked to borrow money from people, claiming he will pay back ten times the amount once the merge concludes, not realizing he sounds like an autistic version of the Nigerian prince scam.

On 8 October, Chris tweeted:

{{quotebox|Sometimes I just want to Give Up - but my Loves won't Let Me. If people could help us here, in This World, Monetarily, we would be Okay. I promise all of you, that when That Day Comes, I will reimburse you, Personally, in the Nation of Cwcville.}}

He followed up on 23 October with:

{{quotebox|When the worlds merge I will have access to TONS of savings in Cwcville. It is a lot of money; indeed. 10:1 is my repayment rate!}}

On 24 [[September 2018]], Chris was [[Chris and the law|sued]] by Second Round Sub for unpaid debt, and on 23 [[October 2018]], Midland Funding followed suit. The case for the former was postponed to January, but the verdict on the Midland case was read on 19 [[December 2018]], requiring Chris to pay $2,777.90 at 6% interest and $55 in court costs.

Remarkably, he has done little begging in the wake of the lawsuits, instead preferring to stick his head in the sand and pretend that the Merge will solve all his problems for him.

[[Category:Sagas]]

Chris and race

2018-12-15T03:44:59Z

EDit209:

{{Honest}}
[[Image: Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|200px|"[[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|I am not, nor would ever, making fun of any black people living, dead or fiction.]]"]]

'''Race''' is a thing that [[Chris]] has shown a variety of feelings for; unfortunately, they are not always in a positive light.

It is believed by some that Chris's racist tendencies can be traced at least partially to his Southern [[USA|U.S.]] heritage. However, certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes.

His racism probably comes from several sources: his parental upbringing, television, [[naïve]]té, and complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. When called out for behavior others find racist, Chris will react in much the same way he does when people call him [[Women's Rights|sexist]]: vehemently deny that he hates anyone while sticking to his established stance and insisting other people are misunderstanding him.

==Blacks==
[[File:Niggo.jpg|thumb|250px|His rationale for not being willing to date black women is that he's "Old-Fashioned".]]
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional, towards black people in particular, hence his use of the words "nigger" and "niggos".

Note how most of the [[Jerkops]] in the comic are black.

==Asians==

[[File:0419-ChristianIs17-14.jpg|thumb|Chris standing awkwardly next to some Asians]]

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy Sonichu]] as a [[CWC Fighter|kung fu]] master with [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanty eyes]], raised in a dojo. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin".<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least a neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he also said that meeting her was like having a [[Sailor Moon|''Pretty Girl Sailor Moon'']] character leap out of his television; a real Asian woman probably wouldn't be pleased to be imagined as animu wank fodder. It is also possible that Chris's view of "white" is simply "a person who isn't black".

Chris also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin C. Kang (sp?) of Korean Hope Presbyterian Church of Richmond in the [[church audio]].<ref>[http://www.taxexemptworld.com/organizations/chesterfield-county-va-virginia.asp?spg=2]</ref>

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris presents us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Chéng Zhong''), is now traumatized due to her witnessing [[April 16 Fetish Vids|a video]] of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. Chris also never questioned how a young child could make it all the way to the Christian Weston Chandler pages on Encyclopedia Dramatica without encountering something else as scarring, if not more so along the way. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of Native Americans are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] unsurprisingly also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize ''[[My Little Pony]]'' dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a plastic gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. True Cherokee wore vests most of the time, and there is little evidence to suggest they owned muscle bras. They also notably did not go to war with toy guns, but instead with bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

In a Facebook post, Chris announced that the prostitute whom he hired to be his virgin-taker was part Cherokee, a fact from which he seemed to derive a disproportional amount of pleasure despite the vague implications of [[Crystal Weston Chandler|incest]].<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref> It is almost certain that the prostitute mentioned this because Chris did first, believing she would be interested.

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}

Chris displays open antisemitic tendencies, many of which are believed by [[Trolls|Christorians]] to stem from his fondness for ''[[South Park]]''. A similarly [[Obesity|fat]], [[Monthly tugboat|privileged]], [[ego|entitled]] character in the show displays similar tendencies, and given Chris's tendency to copy mannerisms and things from even [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|the shittiest things he's watched]], it's entirely possible that this is, in fact, the original source (Chris has shown before that he has never been able to comprehend the satire and pro-tolerance undertones of shows like ''South Park'' and ''Family Guy'', even using quotes from ''Family Guy'' in an attempt to justify his homophobia).

Regardless of where it comes from, Chris has a long history of veiled antisemitism. In "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]", Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has seven candles in it, while the traditional menorah used on Hanukkah in real life, called a ''Hanukkiah'', has nine) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in real-life Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, because ''apparently'' Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles (especially single ones not on menorot) are super-important to Jews!

Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply ''asking'' if he's allergic, she just assumes it. Because Jews are sickly Melvins with many allergies, you see.

On 25 [[November 2009]], Chris was presented in the [[Mailbag]] with a drawing of a fan made Jewish Sonichu character named Harvey Bulbastein. The character had a large nose and seemed to show a liking for money, evident by him holding a bill in his hand and being the owner of the CWCville bank.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Jewish stereotypes]]</ref> Chris thanked the mailer for sending him the drawing and said he would consider incorporating the character into his comics, suggesting that the anti-Semitic tone evident in the drawing went over Chris's head. On 18 [[February 2009]], while conversing with [[Julie]], Chris was asked by her to imitate a Jewish person. Chris decided to imitate [[wikipedia:Mort Goldman|Mort Goldman]],<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5#Geography, Father Talk (00:05:55)]]</ref> a stereotypical Jewish character from ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish, using his last name as a point of reference ("Snyder" is a very common German last name, meaning "to cut"). Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[Greene County Conspiracy|100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

If Chris's antisemitism was veiled before, it becomes extremely apparent in an email he sent to [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Katie Bay while impersonating Samantha Thaddeus]]. While talking about Michael Snyder, he refers to him as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".

Chris finally apologized for insulting Michael on 31 [[March 2018]], after a [[CWC Ancestry|23andMe test]] confirmed that he himself has Ashkenazi ancestry.

==Hispanics==
[[File:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|thumb|left|Espanolic and Vegaton, the only [[Pokémon]] lazier than [[Snorlax]].]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Flag of Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Flag of Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which, despite being obvious stereotypes, were handled far more tactfully than Chris could hope to do.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]], and then Chris's <s>self-cest</s> children. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women. It also does not help her sentences are random mixes of Spanish and English – and no, not by throwing in a random word or two of Spanish into her sentences, but switching from English phrases to Spanish midway in her sentences (which appear to be Google-Translated).

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominantly speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from the USA as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

==Other white ethnicities/cultures==
Chris has not shown outright malevolence towards other white cultures, but is often offensively ignorant of their customs and nations. In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], Chris plays an Irish song while wearing a kilt and pretending to be Scottish, then mentions a [[Wikipedia:Shillelagh_(club)|shillelagh]]. His interactions with [[PandaHalo]] revealed that he knew almost nothing about Australia or Australians, climactically thinking Panda had died in the [[Wikipedia:Black_Saturday_bushfires|Black Saturday fires]] which happened almost a thousand kilometres from where she claimed to live. He holds the bizarre notion that [[Leonard Bearstein]] misinterpreted his name because he was British (certainly told to him by his parents, as he was too young to think that way).

[[BlueSpike#Julie|Julie]] claimed to be from a [[Molvanîa|fictional country]] in Eastern Europe, as did her brother [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]]. Chris hardly asked any questions about this non-existent country, nor did he (or Bob) question the fact that both Julie and Max spoke with American accents. There are of course many other relevant cultures and ethnicities, but owing to Chris's total failure to understand abstract descriptions of places he hasn't been to physically, he is either unaware of or indifferent to their existence.

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob intimidating the trolls.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern [[United States of America|United States]] before the civil rights movement and [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|has claimed to have acquaintances in the Ku Klux Klan activity growing up]], perhaps he had some racial prejudices that were passed on to Chris. In a [[Prank_calls#Call_Bobby_Chandler|2010 prank call]], Bob said ''"I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it."'' Of course, he was being constantly bothered at by prank callers, and may have just made comments to intimidate them into stop calling him. Chris claims he got a [[Barack Obama|slightly racist joke]] from Bob.

[[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] has not been publicly observed to hold racist opinions, but, as with so many subjects, seems to have done nothing to correct Chris's opinions about it, meaning she is at least guilty of being passive about racism. It is possible that she may have some prejudices not revealed to the public - the Michael Snyder anti-Jew paranoia, for instance, was very unlikely to have been abstractly contrived by Chris, and Barb was an enthused participant.

Also, both Bob and Barb graduated from racially segregated high schools (and in Bob's case, a racially segregated college), suggesting that they experienced racism head-on during their childhoods. Although this does not necessarily mean that they were racists during their younger years, they do seem to have ludicrous hillbillyish ideas about foreign cultures, such as believing and telling Chris that Leonard Bearstein misinterpreted his name because he was English (even though Christopher is an English name), and Bob being unfazed by a [[Julie|purported Eastern European]] speaking English fluently with an American accent. In the same vein, they have both expressed [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|anti-LGBT sentiments]], a prejudice usually accompanied by racism. Also, Chris himself is very racist, and he frankly had to learn it from somewhere.

==Chris's ethnic background==
Influenced by his parent's claims, Chris has long asserted that he is of primarily [[Daniel Weston|English]] descent, with some [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] heritage on Bob's side. However, in March 2018 Chris posted the results of a DNA test from 23andMe to determine his ancestry<ref>[[March 2018 social media posts#Apology to jewish people]]</ref>, which showed that he was of ''100% European'' genetic background, with slightly over half of this being British and most of the rest from across northwestern Europe. While these results are certainly not completely accurate, it is unlikely that any legitimate DNA test would fail to detect ''any'' Native American genetic background in someone who is even 1/16 or 1/32 (as Chris has claimed at various points) Cherokee.

The test also indicated that Chris had less than 0.1% Ashkenazi ("ash-KEN-azi") Jewish ancestry. Bizarrely, despite this being the smallest amount that the test considered worth reporting (equivalent to less than a single Jewish ancestor ten generations ago), Chris was fascinated by this result and declared that he was "Fully Observant of [his] Jewish ancestry". This discovery [[Chris and his ego|about himself]] also led Chris to apologize for his [[Michael Snyder|past anti-Semitic remarks]]. However, he also felt the need to publicly declare that he did not intend to convert to the [[Chris and religion#Judaism|Jewish faith]].

Even more strangely, Chris later commented that "[his] report links [his] Ancestry to [[Niggos|Africa]]", despite the fact that the actual report says that he has zero African ancestry. Of course, all humans can technically trace their ancestry back to Africa in prehistoric times, but this is probably beyond [[Random-access humor|Chris's wit]]. Chris may have arrived at this conclusion from his 0.3% Iberian ancestry; [[wikipedia:Iberian Peninsula|Iberia]] is the region of Europe comprised of [[Spanish|Spain]] and Portugal, which he likely [[Honor roll|confused]] with the African country of [[wikipedia:Liberia|Liberia]].

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides Southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in ''Sonichu'' with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy Sonichu|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic. Chris most likely has no idea what kind of rituals took place in Native American culture. If he did, he would know that some tribes slit their [[duck|cocks]] to [[Chris and religion|please their gods]].

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews.|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}

{{quote|Blacks...are good people too.|Chris, in the [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|disclaimer for his Mr. Popo video]]}}

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville "they can even vote", but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. Also of note, every single black person in ''Sonichu'' is depicted as a villain, a criminal or otherwise undesirable. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" (except the ones being black).

Realistically, Chris's racism doesn't stem from white supremacy, or anything cerebral - it's simply a phobia of people and cultures he doesn't understand. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]], so Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
{{Tinyquote|1=Who my nigga? Who my nigga, dog?|2=[[Lars Call|Lars]]}}
{{Tinyquote|2=Chris, [[Wikipedia:Code-switching|code-switching]] in solidarity with the niggas|I'm yo nigga.}}

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her breasts.]]

An [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|image]] leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[Love Quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris had evolved into some sort of post-racial autistic, they should be aware that he ended [[Sonichu Day]] by calling Tito a "nigger" in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito E-mails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included [[Jack Thaddeus]] removing his ads from CWCipedia and [[Mao]] taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) He later performed [[Song for Jackie.MOV|a song in ''blackface'']] for his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. {{clear}}

In the new pages of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] which were uploaded in 2015 [[Blake]] is mistaken as black, being wished a "happy Kwanza, brother" from an African American, and goes on an angry rant about how his skin in not "sunburn color", he is black because of a mutation. Keep in mind that 2015 is a year in which Chris became more openly "supportive" towards the LGBT community (but not necessarily supportive to race minorities). Given this, it is not unreasonable to assume that Chris is still racist towards black people.

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Heather once again makes an appearance, switching from English to Spanish randomly throughout conversations – saying "tres", but then saying "two" in the exact same sentence. Her sentences also make absolutely no sense, compared to Chris's previous writing. In one sentence, she says "Russel y Cynthia, me le amo". "Me le amo" seems to translate to either "I love him", or "I love you", later saying "they love their mama con sus corizones". Not only does Chris misspell "corazones", that sentence seems to translate to "they love their mom with your hearts".

Altogether, her sentence appears to be talking about how his offspring got away from her at the festival and the children love the colors. She mentions how Chris is there with his family and how she loves the kids, but they love their "mother" (Chris) dearly, and how she does her best for the kids, ending with a poor translation of "it's okay, I love them".

Whether this poor speech was intentional or Chris thought it would be interesting to have a "bilingual" character isn't known.

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==

Chris attempts to add in characters of various races and religions with decidedly mixed results. Many of his non-white characters are one-dimensional or barely relevant but then again so is every white one who isn't Chris in his world full of rainbow hedgehogs.
*[[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] (Jewish, good but immature)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[Wes Iseli#Wasabi Rival|Wasabi Rival]] (<s>Caucasian</s> Native American, evil)
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer#Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] - (<s>white-washed</s> Native American, good, probably the whitest of all Native American characters in the comics as she's not only blue-eyed but also blonde)
*[[Manajerks#B-Manajerk|B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
*[[Barack Obama]] (half-black, half-arab)
* Blake (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Manajerks#Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)|Turdijerk]] (Indian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST police officers)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, <s>never seen</s> debuts in ''Sonichu'' #12)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)
*PHI Spring Break reporter (Black, appears in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "sistas and brothas".

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question. Despite being minorities, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon group never experiences discrimination nor prejudices in the comic; [[homos|that's saved for another minority in CWCville]]. Chris would probably not tolerate human versions of these characters being anything but white.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

Mathematics

2018-12-15T03:22:09Z

EDit209:

{{Merge|Chris and reality}}
{{quote|I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

'''Mathematics''' ("math" or "[[Catherine|maths]]" for short) is the study of quantity, numbers, space, and change. Calling [[Chris]]'s mathematical ability "bad" is putting it lightly, even though he claimed [[honor roll]] status. There are many examples of his mathematical errors, including errors of basic arithmetic, as well as quantity, measurement, weight, and time. His poor grasp on math and measurement is a sign of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of [[autism]].

==Algebra==
*[[Planet Dolan]] artist VimHomless made a post joking about how butts are greater than water (written as "Butts > Water"), to which Chris took to mean, taking the greater than symbol (>) to mean less than (<), "Water is more important than butts".<ref>[[January 2018 tweets]]</ref> Considering the post was made by a porn artist, and one which Chris follows no less, it is more than shocking to see that he couldn't have made this connection. Two days after that post was made, Chris made another response to 2D animator Spinalpalm, in which he says that salted butter is better than unsalted butter (written as Salted butter > Unsalted butter). This time around, Chris actually understood the underlying message, and agreed with Spinalpalm about the topic,<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/951973094561927168</ref> meaning that he must have figured out the meaning of the greater than symbol after several other users corrected him.

==Arithmetic==
*[[CWCville]]'s currency is made up of "C-quarters" and "W-quarters". According to the ''Sonichu'' canon, 10 C-quarters make up a single W-quarter, which makes no sense considering what the word "quarter" means.

*When a clerk told Chris he was $2 short of affording his junk food, he became confused as to what he should do. Another customer in line gave Chris $2 to make up the deficit, and instead of handing it to the clerk, Chris simply ''took that money, the food, and left the store over everyone's protests''.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-601#post-1615438</ref>

*According to Chris, if he lived in Equestria, he'd be 1,050 years old, because one year on Equestria is equal to 30 Earth Years, while [[Night Star]] is 19 years old in human years, but 570 in pony years. <ref>[[November 2017 Patreon posts#Night Star's age]]</ref> Because Chris has this [[Autism|fixation for his birthdate]], he decided to give her the birth date, 24 February, 1982, which is apparently the year 967 in Pony Years. Only checking after he's made his statement, Chris did the math to confirm this. In a later Facebook post, Chris stated that 30 out of 365.25 Earth Days is equal to 11 Earth Days for each birthday, in reality, 30 divided by 365.25 is approximately eight-hundreths. Even more pathetic is how he wrote the quotient as divided 30 by 365 instead of the other way around, and still got it wrong, as 365.25 divided by 30 is equal to approximately 12, not 11. In his flawed math though, he had found that her actual birth date in Pony years should be 19 February, 939.

==Estimation/Measurement==

*When exercising by lifting two boxes of 12-pack lemonade, he estimated that the 4.26 liters of lemonade he was lifting weighed about 50 pounds, when in fact this volume of water weighs less than ten.

*In the chair lifting video, Chris claimed the chair he was lifting weighed "a grand number of pounds."

*Chris repeatedly claims to have D-cup breasts. In his [[My Breast Massage Routine 18+|breast massage]] video, Chris measures his chest and underbust as 44 and 40 inches respectively, and says that makes him a D cup. In reality, it makes him a B cup. Also, the conventional method for breast measurement does not work for [[tomgirl|trans women]], mainly because of chest girth, so Chris is actually closer to an A cup.

*In the famous [[Father Call]], Chris seemed to believe a dog house made of plastic and wood weighed 5 to 10 tons (10,000-20,000 pounds), and was heavier than any tombstone (which tend to weigh an average of about 80 pounds). Essentially, Chris believes that plastic and wood would weigh more than solid stone.

*After [[Walking to the post office#Chris is back home|walking]] 8 miles to and from the post office, Chris vastly underestimated the entire journey to have only been 2 miles.

==Geometry==
*In one of his tirades towards the [[HEXBox|Xbox]], Chris said that the angle of half a circle is 120º, then revised his claim to 130º.<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

==Number Systems==

*Chris's reports of how much [[Cherokee]] blood he has have been inconsistent. When he [[Jackie E-mails 16|emailed Jackie]], he stated he was 1/16 Cherokee, but he later [[Regina e-mails|told Regina]] that he was 1/32 Cherokee. Finally, when talking to [[Emily]], he claimed [[Bob]] was at least one-fourth Cherokee, which would make Chris at least one-eighth Cherokee, not 1/16 or 1/32.

*To avoid assigning an "unlucky number" to his Night Star comic, Chris decided to number the comic as Sonichu #12-9, using an em-dash in place a decimal point. This could make sense if it referred to the ninth part of the issue, but Chris clearly intends it as a fractional amount of "almost 13".

==Statistics==
*Chris coined the term "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]", the probability that a woman he is trying to latch onto isn't [[boyfriend-free|single]], enough said.

==See Also==
*[[Chris and reality]]
*[[Honor Roll]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Mathematics

2018-12-15T03:21:13Z

EDit209:

{{Merge|Chris and reality}}
{{quote|I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

'''Mathematics''' ("math" or "[[Catherine|maths]]" for short) is the study of quantity, numbers, space, and change. Calling [[Chris]]'s mathematical ability "bad" is putting it lightly, even though he claimed [[honor roll]] status. There are many examples of his mathematical errors, including errors of basic arithmetic, as well as quantity, measurement, weight, and time. His poor grasp on math and measurement is a sign of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of [[autism]]. This disconnected from the times Chris throws numbers around to sound smart (such as his lengthy 'percentage' to define men he doesn't hate in the comics) or to impress someone (estimating a pack of lemonade to weigh fifty pounds) and instead details times Chris actually failed in mathematics.

==Algebra==
*[[Planet Dolan]] artist VimHomless made a post joking about how butts are greater than water (written as "Butts > Water"), to which Chris took to mean, taking the greater than symbol (>) to mean less than (<), "Water is more important than butts".<ref>[[January 2018 tweets]]</ref> Considering the post was made by a porn artist, and one which Chris follows no less, it is more than shocking to see that he couldn't have made this connection. Two days after that post was made, Chris made another response to 2D animator Spinalpalm, in which he says that salted butter is better than unsalted butter (written as Salted butter > Unsalted butter). This time around, Chris actually understood the underlying message, and agreed with Spinalpalm about the topic,<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/951973094561927168</ref> meaning that he must have figured out the meaning of the greater than symbol after several other users corrected him.

==Arithmetic==
*[[CWCville]]'s currency is made up of "C-quarters" and "W-quarters". According to the ''Sonichu'' canon, 10 C-quarters make up a single W-quarter, which makes no sense considering what the word "quarter" means.

*When a clerk told Chris he was $2 short of affording his junk food, he became confused as to what he should do. Another customer in line gave Chris $2 to make up the deficit, and instead of handing it to the clerk, Chris simply ''took that money, the food, and left the store over everyone's protests''.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-601#post-1615438</ref>

*According to Chris, if he lived in Equestria, he'd be 1,050 years old, because one year on Equestria is equal to 30 Earth Years, while [[Night Star]] is 19 years old in human years, but 570 in pony years. <ref>[[November 2017 Patreon posts#Night Star's age]]</ref> Because Chris has this [[Autism|fixation for his birthdate]], he decided to give her the birth date, 24 February, 1982, which is apparently the year 967 in Pony Years. Only checking after he's made his statement, Chris did the math to confirm this. In a later Facebook post, Chris stated that 30 out of 365.25 Earth Days is equal to 11 Earth Days for each birthday, in reality, 30 divided by 365.25 is approximately eight-hundreths. Even more pathetic is how he wrote the quotient as divided 30 by 365 instead of the other way around, and still got it wrong, as 365.25 divided by 30 is equal to approximately 12, not 11. In his flawed math though, he had found that her actual birth date in Pony years should be 19 February, 939.

==Estimation/Measurement==

*When exercising by lifting two boxes of 12-pack lemonade, he estimated that the 4.26 liters of lemonade he was lifting weighed about 50 pounds, when in fact this volume of water weighs less than ten.

*In the chair lifting video, Chris claimed the chair he was lifting weighed "a grand number of pounds."

*Chris repeatedly claims to have D-cup breasts. In his [[My Breast Massage Routine 18+|breast massage]] video, Chris measures his chest and underbust as 44 and 40 inches respectively, and says that makes him a D cup. In reality, it makes him a B cup. Also, the conventional method for breast measurement does not work for [[tomgirl|trans women]], mainly because of chest girth, so Chris is actually closer to an A cup.

*In the famous [[Father Call]], Chris seemed to believe a dog house made of plastic and wood weighed 5 to 10 tons (10,000-20,000 pounds), and was heavier than any tombstone (which tend to weigh an average of about 80 pounds). Essentially, Chris believes that plastic and wood would weigh more than solid stone.

*After [[Walking to the post office#Chris is back home|walking]] 8 miles to and from the post office, Chris vastly underestimated the entire journey to have only been 2 miles.

==Geometry==
*In one of his tirades towards the [[HEXBox|Xbox]], Chris said that the angle of half a circle is 120º, then revised his claim to 130º.<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

==Number Systems==

*Chris's reports of how much [[Cherokee]] blood he has have been inconsistent. When he [[Jackie E-mails 16|emailed Jackie]], he stated he was 1/16 Cherokee, but he later [[Regina e-mails|told Regina]] that he was 1/32 Cherokee. Finally, when talking to [[Emily]], he claimed [[Bob]] was at least one-fourth Cherokee, which would make Chris at least one-eighth Cherokee, not 1/16 or 1/32.

*To avoid assigning an "unlucky number" to his Night Star comic, Chris decided to number the comic as Sonichu #12-9, using an em-dash in place a decimal point. This could make sense if it referred to the ninth part of the issue, but Chris clearly intends it as a fractional amount of "almost 13".

==Statistics==
*Chris coined the term "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]", the probability that a woman he is trying to latch onto isn't [[boyfriend-free|single]], enough said.

==See Also==
*[[Chris and reality]]
*[[Honor Roll]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Chris and nostalgia

2018-12-15T03:13:39Z

EDit209:

{{Incomplete}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|nUBDHhN0sOE}}</center>
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris and Sonichu in the Good ol' days!]].]]

{{quote|I REALLY Miss the good times of those days.|Chris reminiscing on his High School days<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/February_2017_Facebook_Posts#.23productofpublicschool</ref>}}

'''Nostalgia''' is a sentimentality for the past, generally characterized by the wistful yearning for personalities and events, especially for the “[[Manchester High School|good old days]]” or a “[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|warm childhood]]”.<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostalgia</ref>

The foundation of most of [[Adult Chronicles|Chris’ adult life]] has been his fixation on the past, especially for [[Chris and brand loyalty|things that have had deep significance to his life]] in order to escape from the present, whether it be through [[My Little Pony|cartoons]], interacting with past [[gal pals]] and [[sweethearts]], or reminiscing past experiences with [[trolls]].

==Nostalgia in Chris' Life==

Although viewed as a mental disease when it was first discovered, nostalgia, in the modern age, is seen as a natural, common, positive emotion for escaping the [[Chris and reality|confines of reality]]. Seeing how difficult it is for Chris to grasp reality as it is in its present, the way he grasps the past is unimaginably worse.
Chris' nostalgia comes from a wide variety of sources. It can be speculated that the main source of Chris' nostalgia in unhealthy amounts is his [[stress]]. At a psychological level, nostalgia is the result of negative feelings and results in the increase in of one's positive emotions.<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostalgia#Improve_mood</ref> It can also be used as a coping mechanism for dealing with whatever stressful situation one may be in.

Given how Chris currently lives his life, constantly dealing with [[weens]], and being denied [[china]] by every girl he meets, Chris will sometimes use his past experiences in a strange way to relieve his stress. For example, at the end of the [[Jessica Quinn|Jessica Saga]], Chris, feeling awfully depressed from losing his girlfriend, decided to contact [[Megan]] on her [[Facebook]], and hook up with her again,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-10-9-complimenting-megan-schroeder.35164/</ref> even after having been accusing her of being behind his current situation for the past four years.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Megan_Schroeder#The_Blame_Game</ref>

Other times, Chris will hold onto past experiences that gave him grief. For example, before attempting to contact Megan ever again, Chris always held onto how Megan was somehow responsible for his problems in his life for supposedly leaking information of him on Encyclopedia Dramatica with [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. This attachment to such events can become so strong that eventually, Chris will [[Chris and anger|snap]] from all of the added [[stress]]. For example, in [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts|several 2013 September Facebook Posts]], Chris continuously curses Megan along with [[Michael Snyder|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|fruits]] of his bad memories.

==Childhood memories==
After getting a bear hug at the 2018 [[MAGfest]] from a fan who lifted his 212+ pound body off the ground, Chris commented on the nostalgia he felt, saying, "Hey, did anyone get video or photo of @Spinalpalm hugging me and lifting me up high after the Panel? I would love to have that video to watch over and over. I never thought I could ever be lifted up high by anyone since I got too heavy for my parents."<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Much love for MAGfest fans]]</ref>







==Manchester High==
{{main|Manchester High}}
[[File:Chris schooldesk drawing.jpg|thumb|A happy Chris at a schooldesk, drawn 17 years after he had graduated high school<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref>.]]

Of all of the memories Chris holds dear, he seems to be most attached to his years in Manchester High.This is best shown with the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video, the Lego replica, and him wearing the jacket (as shown with the [[26 December 2014]] incident). He also purchased a schooldesk, which he uses as a workstation, allowing him to further transition back to his happiest years. For many years he fixated on his high school reunion but never attended. Likely for the best, as the MHS of real life can't possibly compare with the one in his mind.

Like many people who over-indulge in nostalgia, Chris has a rather warped view of his time at Manchester High in retrospect. He often looks back on it as a time when he was surrounded by friends and could have easily obtained the true love he seeks to this day, if only he had known how good he had it. In reality, his more down-to-earth recollections of high school paint a picture of Chris being bullied, fairly isolated and disengaged.







==References==

<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and nostalgia

2018-12-15T03:10:52Z

EDit209:

{{Incomplete}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|nUBDHhN0sOE}}</center>
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris and Sonichu in the Good ol' days!]].]]

{{quote|I REALLY Miss the good times of those days.|Chris reminiscing on his High School days<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/February_2017_Facebook_Posts#.23productofpublicschool</ref>}}

'''Nostalgia''' is a sentimentality for the past, generally characterized by the wistful yearning for personalities and events, especially for the “[[Manchester High School|good old days]]” or a “[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|warm childhood]]”.<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostalgia</ref>

The foundation of most of [[Adult Chronicles|Chris’ adult life]] has been his fixation on the past, especially for [[Chris and brand loyalty|things that have had deep significance to his life]] in order to escape from the present, whether it be through [[My Little Pony|cartoons]], interacting with past [[gal pals]] and [[sweethearts]], or reminiscing past experiences with [[trolls]].

==Nostalgia in Chris' Life==

Although viewed as a mental disease when it was first discovered, nostalgia, in the modern age, is seen as a natural, common, positive emotion for escaping the [[Chris and reality|confines of reality]]. Seeing how difficult it is for Chris to grasp reality as it is in its present, the way he grasps the past is unimaginably worse.
Chris' nostalgia comes from a wide variety of sources. It can be speculated that the main source of Chris' nostalgia in unhealthy amounts is his [[stress]]. At a psychological level, nostalgia is the result of negative feelings and results in the increase in of one's positive emotions.<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostalgia#Improve_mood</ref> It can also be used as a coping mechanism for dealing with whatever stressful situation one may be in.

Given how Chris currently lives his life, constantly dealing with [[weens]], and being denied [[china]] by every girl he meets, Chris will sometimes use his past experiences in a strange way to relieve his stress. For example, at the end of the [[Jessica Quinn|Jessica Saga]], Chris, feeling awfully depressed from losing his girlfriend, decided to contact [[Megan]] on her [[Facebook]], and hook up with her again,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-10-9-complimenting-megan-schroeder.35164/</ref> even after having been accusing her of being behind his current situation for the past four years.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Megan_Schroeder#The_Blame_Game</ref>

Other times, Chris will hold onto past experiences that gave him grief. For example, before attempting to contact Megan ever again, Chris always held onto how Megan was somehow responsible for his problems in his life for supposedly leaking information of him on Encyclopedia Dramatica with [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. This attachment to such events can become so strong that eventually, Chris will [[Chris and anger|snap]] from all of the added [[stress]]. For example, in [[September_2013_Facebook_Posts|several 2013 September Facebook Posts]], Chris continuously curses Megan along with [[Michael Snyder|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|fruits]] of his bad memories.

==Childhood memories==
After getting a bear hug at the 2018 [[MAGfest]] from a fan who lifted his 212+ pound body off the ground, Chris commented on the nostalgia he felt, saying, "Hey, did anyone get video or photo of @Spinalpalm hugging me and lifting me up high after the Panel? I would love to have that video to watch over and over. I never thought I could ever be lifted up high by anyone since I got too heavy for my parents."<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Much love for MAGfest fans]]</ref>







==Manchester High==
{{main|Manchester High}}
[[File:Chris schooldesk drawing.jpg|thumb|A happy Chris at a schooldesk, drawn 17 years after he had graduated high school<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref>.]]

Of all of the memories Chris holds dear, he seems to be most attached to his years in Manchester High.This is best shown with the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video, the Lego replica, and him wearing the jacket (as shown with the [[26 December 2014]] incident). He also purchased a schooldesk, which he uses as a workstation, allowing him to further transition back to his happiest years.

Like many people who over-indulge in nostalgia, Chris has a rather warped view of his time at Manchester High in retrospect. He often looks back on it as a time when he was surrounded by friends and could have easily obtained the true love he seeks to this day, if only he had known how good he had it. In reality, his more down-to-earth recollections of high school paint a picture of Chris being bullied, fairly isolated and disengaged.







==References==

<references/>

{{Chris and}}

United States of America

2016-11-10T02:07:25Z

EDit209:

{{Quote|"Hail thee, to the president, by gah ... her 'tis of thee..."<br>
Okay, [[Honor roll|I don't know the words]], but I am being patriotic here!|Chris<ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref>}}
[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|Christian's primary thoughts on the USA.]]

[[Chris]] is a citizen of the '''United States of America''', a federal constitutional republic in North America. The nation is considered the only remaining superpower since the end of the Cold War, and is a leading economic, political and cultural force in the world.

Chris's stance on the nation he lives in is inconsistent at best. While he claims to be a good citizen who loves and respects his country, his [[Twin Falling Towers|actions]] [[Calling Out|are]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|often]] [[Chris and the Law|very]] [[Monthly tugboat|obviously]] contrary to these claims.

==Politics==
[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|Christian's DEEPER thoughts on the USA.]]

At a glance, Chris's sense of politics seem very inconsistent; on some issues, he takes a very [[Wikipedia:Conservatism in the United States|conservative]] stance, on others a very [[Wikipedia:Liberalism in the United States|liberal]] one. While many people have an independent or bipartisan opinion, one has to realize the true nature of Chris's decision-making: that Chris doesn't favor what's good for the working class, or America, or the world, but rather what's good for Chris. As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates da [[homos]], and supported [[Barack Obama]] because he "saw himself in him".<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

Another political insight is the vague statement "I agree with gun control.",<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> despite Chris's numerous [[death threats]] and [[Sonichu Special 4|vigilante plans]] that would require a firearm. Soon after, he clarified that he supports abortion,<ref>[[Mailbag 20]]</ref> undoubtedly to show his appreciation for [[women's rights]].

Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate."<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe]]</ref> While typically this simply means not having extreme or overly partisan political beliefs, he takes this as a general-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues ''every'' voter should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion'', though he did vote for [[Obama]] in 2008 and 2012.

{{Quote|I disagree with more of the [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (US)|Republican]]'s views than the [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrats]]. As for [[Wikipedia:Iraq War troop surge of 2007|the troop surge]], I don't really care much for war, especially if it's [[Death threats|over some petty disagreement]], but regardless of the surge's success or failure, [[Chris and English|I feel at least half of the sent troops should not be pulled back to stand their ground]].|Chris, [[Mailbag 15#Everything in moderation|Mailbag 15]]}}

Chris doesn't react well in situations where he absolutely has to make a choice ([[Julie]] or [[PSN]]?<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>), and seems easily persuaded on matters that he doesn't really have a stake on. As a result, he often comes across like a weathervane, just repeating whatever opinion has most recently lodged itself in his head. His frequently vacillating opinion about Obama is a good example of this; he first parroted what [[Bob|his father]] had told him about it, then he changed his mind because of a documentary, and then he reverted his opinion because of his father again.

Chris's political stances became both more consistent and extreme at the outset of the [[Tomgirl Saga]]. This is likely a blend of his worldview changing with his new adopted gender identity and also the passing of Bob, leaving him with no omnipresent conservative voice to sway him. By the time of the 2016 presidential elections, Chris had become a vocal [[Wikipedia:Democratic Party (US)|Democrat]]. He does remain largely self-serving in his outlook however: he now ardently supports LGBTQ initiatives but qualifies his commitment with his dislike of gay men (rendering his support disingenuous at best). His financial woes have also made politics related to welfare and state support a focus for him but he never forms thoughts on the subject beyond the vague belief that one party or the other is inherently good. Like many things with Chris, his outlook on politics is unbridled by civility or even common sense. In November 2016 Chris went so far as to openly call for the assassination of president-elect Donald Trump, something even the most die-hard liberal politico would consider madness to say aloud.

==Understanding of government==
[[File:CWCVilleTrueFlag.png|thumb|What Christian's ideas actually amount to in [[Chris and reality|reality]].]]

Chris's grasp of how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] as a whole, is very tenuous. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes. However, he still thinks of himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays [[Wikipedia:Sales taxes in the United States|sales taxes]] on the massive amount of crap he buys.

{{Quote|[[Chris and money|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.]]|Chris, [[Honor roll|being wrong]].<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref>.}}

It's highly unlikely that Chris understands the massive discrepancy between the amount the federal government pays him and the amount he gives back to the economy via sales tax. Chris also fails to understand that, in the USA, sales taxes are collected by state and local governments, while his Social Security Disability check comes from the federal government.

Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the majority while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. Chris, however, would like it to be a totalitarianism and ideally to be the one running it, allowing him to enforce his deranged fantasies on the American populus:

{{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris.<ref> [[Common Questions#28 December 2009]]</ref>}}

The facts that this would neither help the country in any way nor be even remotely possible to put into practice are not ones Chris considers important. Chris's reasoning is simply that since he wants a [[sweetheart]], ''everybody'' must want a sweetheart, and if everybody wants a sweetheart, the government needs to make it happen. Similarly, since he is uncomfortable with gays personally, every single gay person in the country must be forced into a heterosexual lifestyle.

Over the years, Chris has proposed a large number of laws, even sending letters to President [[Barack Obama]] demanding legislation against [[trolls]] and [[homos]]. This is completely futile for myriad reasons, but two are most pressing: one, the President of the United States has much more pressing concerns than making an insane manchild in Ruckersville, VA, happy, and two, the US President ''can't make laws''. Separation of powers and checks and balances in government are concepts Chris has no time for — [[CWCville]], after all, is a hereditary dictatorship.

Oddly, the closest analog for how Chris views his government is how Chris views his [[Chris and religion|religion]]. He treats both the U.S. government and [[God]] as things that can be completely ignored unless he has a personal problem, at which point they should immediately act as instruments of his will. He believes that both have a deeply vested interest in himself, often at the expense of everybody else.

== Chris on patriotism ==
As established, Chris has a very [[naïve]] view of American politics and how the federal government operates. Despite these setbacks, Chris has developed a unique brand of patriotism he brings up quite often, usually either in [[Father Call|defense of his character]] or dehumanization of his [[Trolls|enemies]]. As a result, these stabs at [[Wikipedia:Jingoism|jingoism]] often feel forced or out of place. Chris has utilized this tactic in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], with the iconic "Clarksville Address":

{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring [[Sweetheart]] and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|[[Sonichu]], on how insulting Chris means you hate America.<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref>}}

[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris bastardizing the American flag with his [[Chris and fashion|favorite shirt]].]]

In the above statement, the central flaw in Chris's reasoning is displayed - the belief [[Song of Christian|his problems are analogous with the problems of every American]]. Therefore, if [[ED]] satirizes ''him'', they insult ''all'' U.S. citizens. This would become something of a recurring theme, with a later video claiming that any attack on Chris or [[CWCville|his fictional utopia]] was equivalent to mocking any 'C-ville' in America.<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> On a shallower level, it's an obvious ploy for sympathy, a façade of reasonable nationalism that aims to make him the 'good guy', and by extension, [[Jason]] the 'bad guy'. Thus, patriotic symbolism is thrown in, without really even considering whether or not it makes sense in context. Chris is patriotic simply because he believes that's what will win him [[Scale of Respect|respect]] and reprieve.

His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his tendency to [[Twin Falling Towers|mock national tragedies]] and his [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" end up having the opposite effect.

However, his bumbling enthusiasm isn't reserved for the USA alone. Like many Americans, Chris has contrived of a highly dubious ancestry for himself, starting from [[Anne Boleyn]], a Queen of England who was executed in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1536]]. This was almost instantly proven false when her ultimate descendant Queen Elizabeth I, also known as [[Virgin with rage|"The Virgin Queen"]], died in 1603, childless. Then Chris tried in vain to co-opt British, Scottish, and Irish national sentiment in his kilt-clad tirade against [[Surfshack Tito]]<ref>[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]</ref> as a means of intimidation. Also, while not a standard country per se, he also evoked his relation to the Cherokee nation in his infamous [[War Paint Video]]. Finally, Chris attempts to use the fact that February 24 is Mexico's Flag Day to justify [[Christian Love Day|turning his own birthday into a holiday]]; an ''American'' holiday no less. Note that all of these cases, Chris's total ignorance of other nations means he fails spectacularly at representing them and appearing patriotic.
{{-}}

==Chris for President?==
[[File:Idealworld.jpg|thumb|Christian's [[CWCville|promised America]].]]

In an [[October 2010]] video, Chris outlined what he would do if he were elected President. He declared he would [[Chris and money|cut taxes in half]], build "soup hotels", give [[Merried Seinor Comic|senior citizens]] increased funds for medications and special services, [[Sonichu Special 4|restrict guns to law enforcement personnel only]], [[homos|allow gay marriage]], and [[TrollBusters|form a special police force that focuses entirely on capturing Internet trolls.]]<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref>

Aside from his failure to deliver a good speech, this video also showcases his complete and utter ignorance of how government and taxes work. Building luxury hotels for the homeless<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref> and increasing social security for [[Bob Chandler|senior citizens]] would cost a gigantic amount of money to do, yet he also proposes cutting taxes in half (again thinking that all tax is federally mandated), thus also reducing the amount of money the government can spend in half. Given that Chris probably has [[Honor roll|no knowledge of economics]], he likely assumes that money can be printed endlessly without fear of inflation.

Chris's restrictions of guns to professionals only is a blatant violation of the [[Wikipedia:Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|Second Amendment]], which explains the right of American citizens to own a wide array of weaponry can never be infringed. While there are certain restrictions on who can own a gun and what types, generally differing on the state level, a flat-out ban on weapons would be found unconstitutional. Then again, Chris isn't exactly big on [[Homos|respecting]] [[Asperchu|the]] [[Megan Schroeder|rights]] [[Mailbag 31|of]] [[Niggos|others.]]

His departure from his previous stance on gay marriage is surprising, but then again, he was influenced by [[Jackie]] when he made the video. Despite his decree of equal rights, he does finish up his point by imploring [[Homos|gays]] to [[Sex tape|"keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody."]] Meanwhile, Chris can [[Fridays After Five|flaunt his depravity]] in public to his heart's content.

While taxes, government spending, gay marriage and gun control are all big issues, Chris finishes up his video by proposing his most important change: the establishment of a special [[TrollBusters]] unit of [[Chris and the Law|law enforcement]], apparently dedicated to finding trolls who make fun of people online, and incarcerating them. While a cybercrimes unit already exists for the FBI, they spend their time pursuing actual criminals like [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and scam artists, not people who make fun of fat manbabies online.

The fact that Chris is willing to suspend constitutional rights and spend countless theoretical millions to incarcerate people that make fun of him on the Internet is proof that Chris is neither a Republican or Democrat, capitalist or socialist, right-wing or left-wing, authoritarian or libertarian, liberal or conservative, communist or fascist, elitist or egalitarian, individualist or collectivist, religious or secular, extremist or moderate - or really any political stripe at all. His politics truly begin and end with him alone.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]''
*[[Chris and the Law]]
*[[TrollBusters]]
*[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Sonichu 8]]

[[Category:Places]]

Chris and reality

2016-11-08T12:27:58Z

EDit209: /* Fantasy and fiction */

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]

{{quote|I don't have to Justify [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]; they can take of that themselves.|[[Chris]], being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]].}}

'''Reality''' is the universe from which Chris is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves his [[room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy worldview can be attributed to his [[autism]], as autistic people generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercials]] and [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]].

Another probable cause of his detachment from reality is the behavior of [[Borb|his parents]], who are (or were, in [[Bob]]'s case) themselves not securely anchored to reality. Their habit of feeding Chris conciliatory platitudes about how he was being mistreated out of jealousy and about special rules applying to him has resulted in Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|all-pervasive sense of entitlement]] and warped perception of anybody or anything that antagonizes him.

Chris is quick to deny indisputable notions, or outright facts, and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]], flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris's question to [[Alec Benson Leary]].}}
{{quote|NO!|Alec's response.}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris's response to Alec.<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}

[[CWCville]] is what Chris calls his imaginary, idyllic fantasy world. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants. Chris mentions 'EGCville' while talking to even as the implied name of a similar town where Evan's characters live despite Evan never having said anything so delusion, implying Chris believes his fantasy world model to be something of a standard.

Chris believes that CWCville and all other products of his imagination actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World", where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' as a model. This strange idea may also have stemmed from the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "Imaginationland", which involved a realm where fictional characters and imaginary creations could mingle with one another. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this worldview is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others he sees as too slow in the mind to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something - if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, providing yet further evidence that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her Creator]] (it is unknown if the comic exists in the universe of CWCville). Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>.

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canonical if he's the one stating it (regardless of contradictions) and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|as Mayor]]). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite considering his own judgement infallible as applied to his own work, he forces [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to theirs.

When the [[Asperpedia Four]] used systematic trolling to make Chris kill off the character [[Simonla Rosechu#Simonla as the Lynchpin|Simonla]], Chris viewed it as a deliberate attack on his fantasy world. CWCville, which had always been Chris's way of retreat from the real world, had been infiltrated by outside forces and was no longer impenetrable, so this is likely why Chris put the comic on hiatus; to stop outside forces from causing any more damage.

==In the Real World==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris, being unaware that most cars weigh two or three tons.<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}

Chris has a tendency to hugely exaggerate estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being fifty pounds(22.7 kg)]]. This behavior is symptomatic of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of autism, which leaves the sufferer with poor comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, Chris does not really display any other symptoms of it, suggesting this behavior isn't mere ignorance, but rather Chris telling childish lies to try to impress people with his physical strength.

Chris automatically assumes his lies will be believed, even if they contradict existing information. This is copiously evidenced in his constant [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] during the [[Father Call]], wherein Chris fibs incessantly about his [[Chris and health|health]] (among other things), frequently denying things or changing his story whenever he gets caught out. His habit of lying and lying about his lies is likely inherited from his mother, whom [[Cole Smithey E-mails|his brother described]] as a pathological liar. When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> The fact that he [[Things Chris has ripped off|demonstrably could not have done this]] did not factor into his reasoning. Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this revised version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger's syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref> As with many other things which antagonize him, Chris simply assumes Aspergers to be significant of a conspiracy targeting himself.

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as highly delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on 28 April 2012, he made an empty threat to the [[Kiwi Farms]] about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lives in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Pokéball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the GameCube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''). In addition, Chris has no idea how everyday machines such as [[Son-Chu|cars]] work, evidenced in how [[September 2014|he claimed]] that a 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block was a great "fixer upper." Normally, any serious physical damage to a car's engine can only be repaired by a very skilled mechanic, or cannot be repaired at all and one must buy a new engine (both of which are not cheap, but [[Chris and money|that's an entirely different problem]]).

===Fictional Characters and Media===
As explained above, Chris believes that fictional characters (including his own) exist on some other plane of reality. During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he claimed "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary. He concluded the lecture with a [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], as of course he believes he has magic powers. These things explain why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris, usually before crashing into slumber, also pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own strange way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of [[homos]]exuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of [[Ruckersville, VA|rednecks]] who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[parody]]ing Republicans, even if poorly in more recent episodes, and that the show's creator [[Seth MacFarlane]] is famously a supporter of gay rights.

As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons." In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an instrument of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the curse-ye-ha-me-ha, a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune upon the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the Internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse ([[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]]) on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris also believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic du jour - either the [[medallion]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]]. How these items came to be imbued with magical properties has not been addressed.

Chris also appears to believe that he can, to an extent, [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to the deceased]]. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[GodJesus]] told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomena. He may have gotten the notion of hearing supernatural voices from psychics (in real life or more likely in the media), who claim to converse with the spirits of the dead. During his time masquerading as [[JenkinsJinkies]] on [[Trollin Train]], Chris hoped to dissuade trolls by claiming that his house was haunted, describing [[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_the_Equipment_and_the_Digging_.28Thu_26_Aug_2010_5:12_AM.29|an alleged encounter]] with the vengeful ghosts of Patti and [[Christopher's name change|his younger self]]. Chris apparently believed that trolls would heed this threat.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied they were evidenced by Mary Lee Walsh's reputation going "DOWN":
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Among the many issues faced by Chris in his perception of reality, his tendency towards conspiracy theorism is the one that has caused him the most trouble. Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his huge, cloying ego, and as such believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake, something to which neither he nor his parents take kindly.

As stated, Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things; most importantly, it illustrated that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]]. Considering how readily and fervently these beliefs were held by his parents, it is sadly little wonder that Chris thinks the same way.

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, he revealed that he shares his parents' insane beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place. Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling evidence of Chris's belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[white knights]]. Despite their attempts to offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] respectfully point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. However, as is the rule with Chris, these people were not telling him what he wanted to hear and were therefore ignored.

==Descent into madness==
As time has gone on, it has become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris's already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to slacken further and further - getting to the point that it has alienated even his closest supporters.

Particularly troubling are his October 2013 rants on [[Facebook]] about how [[Megan]]'s fictitious character Megagi La Skunk has talked to him and told him that she (Megan, but by extension Megagi) should never have been born. Chris claimed that Megan is at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has cursed her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be uncursed, closing by stating that he and his father's ghost will get revenge if she does not comply.

There are many things deeply concerning about this tirade, but the most troubling is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]], nor any reason to suspect Megan would behave this way. This paranoid, insane notion was contrived entirely by Chris - likely with some parental input - and can only be described as complete lunacy.

In the autumn of [[2014]], Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing to his perineum]] in an effort to make it resemble a [[china]]. Despite becoming infected in [[December 2014]], he simply had it pierced again. While an unfazed Chris was persuaded to have this piercing removed too, he remained deeply interested in becoming a woman by unorthodox means, much to the worry of onlookers. Eventually, he removed the piercing. How Chris's next attempt at womanhood will manifest itself is anybody's guess, but in the wake of the un-clit, one can only fear [[Cakefarts|the worst]].

The [[Sonic Boom Protests]] once again revealed Chris's delusions about his power and influence in the world and showed he was willing to [[26 December 2014|physically assault somebody]] to defend the honor of a fictitious character whose arms were recoloured.

Chris currently has an [[Un-clit 2.0|open bleeding wound on his groin]], which he believes to be a pair of female genitals, growing thanks to all the hypnosis videos he's watched in the past few months - the same ones he believes cured his autism. Even though the wound poses a serious, even fatal risk to Chris's health, his sanity has decayed too much ever to realise it. He claims to have had his "labia area" examined for signs of infection, but since no doctor would consider his open wound healthy, it is likely he himself performed the examination, or (God forbid) had Barb take a look at it. His ignorance to reality is now potentially threatening his life, as he is at risk of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sepsis septicaemia].

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Punchy Sonichu

2014-08-24T16:37:55Z

EDit209:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Punchy.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Punchy Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| [[Sonichu chronology#1989|2 February 1989]] (in universe)
No later than 17 August 2004 (IRL)<ref>Chris created a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards|Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Card]] of Punchy on 17 August 2004. It can therefore be inferred that Punchy was not created at any point later than this date.</ref>
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 4'7"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref> (122 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Master Nabe (adoptive father)
|-
| '''Education'''
| CWCville University ([[Dating Education]])<ref>See the events of [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]]</ref>
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric/Fighting
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] (with Hard Stone)
|-
|}
[[File:ModNation Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]
'''Punchy Sonichu''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]], formed from eggs released by the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]]. He is a Fighting/Electric type [[Pokémon]]. He has stated that he is very attracted to [[Angelica]], but ended up paired with [[Layla]], whom Chris has drawn giving him a blowjob. Punchy is often considered to be a [[Chris and race|racist]] Asian stereotype due to his [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanted eyes]] and martial arts upbringing, although his eyes may be based on the fighting Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Hitmonlee|Hitmonlee]]. Chris denies that Punchy is of Asian origin.<ref>[[Mailbag_6#Asian people call Chris out on Punchy|Mailbag 6]]</ref>

However, the eyes seem to have been altered in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he looks like all the other Sonic recolors. Punchy is also a shitty [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles the Echidna]] knockoff, right down to the crescent-shaped birthmark on his chest, dreadlocks and clawed punching gloves, which makes one wonder why he isn’t an "Electric Echidna Pokémon". He is a combination of four characters:

*[[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonlee]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonchan]]

Because Punchy is one of Chris's remotely amusing OCs due to the almost complete lack of originality (more or less simply a headswap of Knuckles) and the ([[Chris and race|possibly unintentional]]) racism of his design, he is a favorite amongst [[trolls]].

Punchy is also billed as a "master of [[Random-access humor|random-access humor]]" (which is to say he supposedly has the same shitty sense of humor as Chris), but he has not actually demonstrated this trait even once in the comics. It finally surfaced in a video, [[SonichuBabies]], over a decade after Chris created him -- much to the anticipation of no one. This in contrast to [[Wild Sonichu]], who has done so several times.<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_3/Page_3|Issue 3, Page 3}}</ref><ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_9/Page_6|Issue 9, Page 6}}</ref>
==Comic appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===

Punchy's Sonee egg lands in a [[Wikipedia:Dojo|Dōjō]], more specifically 'Nabe's Dojo-Shin', where Master [[Excel Saga|Nabe]] is teaching his student [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Mypoe|Mypoe]] to fight. After hatching, Mypoe challenges Punchy, who is still in his infantile [[Sonee]] form. She rips his tail off and this angers him into evolving quickly. He uppercuts her so hard that she flies through the ceiling and into the sky, and presumably to the [[The Moon|Moon]]. However, Chris would clarify years later that Mypoe "survived the trip; she landed into a pile of hay in a wagon right by her house far from the Dojo."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref> Things apparently got a lot bleaker than Chris is usually inclined to go after that: according to the [[CWCipedia]] article for Sonichu (of all things), Chris explains that Master Nabe was brutally murdered by a jealous student and that Punchy avenged his tutor by killing the assassin himself. Punchy then buried both of them behind the school and continues to live there. Disturbingly, Punchy's main concern at the exact same time was getting Chris to turn the electricity back on at the Dojo so he could watch television.

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

[[Image:SchuPunchyRacistLips.jpg|thumb|130px|Totarry not Asian.]]

While Punchy rocks into the air as part of his martial arts training, his claws accidentally collide with [[Blake]]'s hover board which causes Punchy to hitch a ride by accident. He eventually falls off and crashes into a tree where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members. He compliments [[Angelica]] on her flowers, neglecting to point out her over-sized tits. This is likely the beginning of his infatuation with her. They all beat up Blake until his [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head is bleeding]] all over the grass.

===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment]]===

Punchy and the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members are teleported into action by Chris. He has no speaking lines here because Chris can’t be bothered to give any of his characters a personality.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot]]===

While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(character)|Crystal]], Punchy thinks to himself “I’m missing my Samurai Pizza Cats.” When the girls start talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s basketball abilities, [[Wild]] and Punchy act like jealous bitches. Punchy thinks women should be more impressed by his brute strength than Bionic’s athletic talent. When [[Patti]] remarks on how sweet Chris is, Punchy tells her what an ass-kisser she is.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break]]===

Here, Punchy reveals his feelings for [[Angelica]] to Wild. He says he doesn’t know how to ask a girl out and is too afraid to make the first move. Wild then informs him that the [[CWCville]] University is offering a [[Dating Education]] course. This excites Punchy, who insists on signing up for it as soon as possible.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed]]===

In this story, Punchy goes to the CWCville University to learn how to date. The teacher fixes Punchy up with [[Layla]], whom he falls in love with. [[Reginald Sneasel]] tries to sabotage their relationship, but fails. Using his totally awesome [[Prower|motorcycle with a sidecar]], he takes Layla on his first date to the classiest place in CWCville - [[McDonald's]].

===[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]===

Punchy, Wild, and Reginald Sneasel all get laid immediately after Dating Ed (probably on the [[third date]]). Punchy supposedly has a hangover at the beginning of this episode despite the fact that [[Alcohol|drinking]] was illegal in CWCville two seconds ago. Worth noting that in Virginia, being sober (which Layla was, since she didn't have such a hangover) and having sex with someone who's drunk counts as rape.

== Rove Quest ==

Punchy had a major hard-on for [[Angelica]], but then after meeting [[Layla]] he forgot all about her, probably realizing Angelica wasn't going to put out as quickly as Layla would. Turns out Punchy was wrong as Angelica is a dirty slut for Reginald Sneasel.

While Punchy was portrayed as a typical hapless shy suitor completely befuddled on how to approach the opposite sex (i.e. Chris-chan, Wild, Sonichu, etc.) Punchy deviates from the norm by being the only non-[[jerk]] male to make the first move in approaching a lady in the series once he sees an opening. By being willing to change himself and his methods, keeping his options open, remaining optimistic about his chances of seducing someone, being relaxed when talking to a potential partner of the opposite sex, and improvising when things didn't quite go his way the author ''once again'' inadvertently wrote a scathing indictment on the haplessness of his own [[Love Quest]].

"[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]" reveals that either Layla likes it rough in the sack or Punchy gets off on smacking her around.

== Prower, the Motorbike of Fail ==

: ''Main article: [[Prower]]''

According to [[CWCipedia]], Punchy's aforementioned totally awesome motorcycle, [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Prower]], doubles as a ninja [[Transformers|Autobot]] with "Razor-Sharp Choppin' Hands, Shuriken Stars and holographic images." This makes Punchy a "Sharp close-bot attacker," as well as yet another manifestation of Chris's rampant plagiarism.

==Garrely==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card
Image:273-ACPunchyBck.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card, reverse
Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|[[Pokémon|Poketto Monsuta]] card
Image:275-YuPunchy.jpg|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg|[[Punchy]] rearry [[Tomgirl Pictures|roves to wear]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|radies ringerie]].
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|Punchy rearry rike browjob!!!
Image:ProwerBot.jpg|[[Prower]], Punchy's [[Transformer]]
Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle.jpg
Image:276-Punchy.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Lefelences==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Punchy Sonichu}}
<references />

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Punchy Sonichu

2014-08-24T16:34:34Z

EDit209:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Punchy.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Punchy Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| [[Sonichu chronology#1989|2 February 1989]] (in universe)
No later than 17 August 2004 (IRL)<ref>Chris created a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards|Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Card]] of Punchy on 17 August 2004. It can therefore be inferred that Punchy was not created at any point later than this date.</ref>
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 4'7"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref> (122 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Master Nabe (adoptive father)
|-
| '''Education'''
| CWCville University ([[Dating Education]])<ref>See the events of [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]]</ref>
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric/Fighting
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] (with Hard Stone)
|-
|}
[[File:ModNation Punchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'']]
'''Punchy Sonichu''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]], formed from eggs released by the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] as a result of the collision between Super [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and a [[Pikachu]]. He is a Fighting/Electric type [[Pokémon]]. He has stated that he is very attracted to [[Angelica]], but ended up paired with [[Layla]], whom Chris has drawn giving him a blowjob. Punchy is often considered to be a [[Chris and race|racist]] Asian stereotype due to his [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanted eyes]] and martial arts upbringing, although his eyes may be based on the fighting Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Hitmonlee|Hitmonlee]]. Chris denies that Punchy is of Asian origin.<ref>[[Mailbag_6#Asian people call Chris out on Punchy|Mailbag 6]]</ref>

However, the eyes seem to have been altered in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he looks like all the other Sonic recolors. Punchy is also a shitty [[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles the Echidna]] knockoff, right down to the crescent-shaped birthmark on his chest, dreadlocks and clawed punching gloves, which makes one wonder why he isn’t an "Electric Echidna Pokémon". He is a combination of four characters:

*[[Wikipedia:Knuckles the Echidna|Knuckles]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonlee]]
*[[Pokémon|Hitmonchan]]

Because Punchy is one of Chris's remotely amusing OCs due to the almost complete lack of originality (more or less simply a headswap of Knuckles) and the ([[Chris and race|possibly unintentional]]) racism of his design, he is a favorite amongst [[trolls]].

Punchy is also billed as a "master of [[Random-access humor|random-access humor]]" (which is to say he supposedly has the same shitty sense of humor as Chris), but he has not actually demonstrated this trait even once in the comics. It finally surfaced in a video, [[SonichuBabies]], over a decade after Chris created him -- much to the anticipation of no one. This in contrast to [[Wild Sonichu]], who has done so several times.<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_3/Page_3|Issue 3, Page 3}}</ref><ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_9/Page_6|Issue 9, Page 6}}</ref>
==Comic appearances==

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]===

Punchy's Sonee egg lands in a [[Wikipedia:Dojo|Dōjō]], more specifically 'Nabe's Dojo-Shin', where Master [[Excel Saga|Nabe]] is teaching his student [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Mypoe|Mypoe]] to fight. After hatching, Mypoe challenges Punchy, who is still in his infantile [[Sonee]] form. She rips his tail off and this angers him into evolving quickly. He uppercuts her so hard that she flies through the ceiling and into the sky, and presumably to the [[The Moon|Moon]]. However, Chris would clarify years later that Mypoe "survived the trip; she landed into a pile of hay in a wagon right by her house far from the Dojo."<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Punchy_Sonichu|Punchy Sonichu on CWCipedia}}</ref> Things apparently got a lot bleaker than Chris is usually inclined to go after that: according to the [[CWCipedia]] article for Sonichu (of all things), Chris explains that Master Nabe was brutally murdered by a jealous student and that Punchy avenged his tutor by killing the assassin himself. Punchy then buried both of them behind the school and continues to live there. While it does explain where Punchy's master has been all this time, it does kind of raise some questions about Punchy that he's willing to live with the rotting corpses of his adopted father and his killer out back.

===[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]===

[[Image:SchuPunchyRacistLips.jpg|thumb|130px|Totarry not Asian.]]

While Punchy rocks into the air as part of his martial arts training, his claws accidentally collide with [[Blake]]'s hover board which causes Punchy to hitch a ride by accident. He eventually falls off and crashes into a tree where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members. He compliments [[Angelica]] on her flowers, neglecting to point out her over-sized tits. This is likely the beginning of his infatuation with her. They all beat up Blake until his [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head is bleeding]] all over the grass.

===[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Smashed Hearts & Entrapment]]===

Punchy and the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members are teleported into action by Chris. He has no speaking lines here because Chris can’t be bothered to give any of his characters a personality.

===[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Evil is Afoot]]===

While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(character)|Crystal]], Punchy thinks to himself “I’m missing my Samurai Pizza Cats.” When the girls start talking about [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]’s basketball abilities, [[Wild]] and Punchy act like jealous bitches. Punchy thinks women should be more impressed by his brute strength than Bionic’s athletic talent. When [[Patti]] remarks on how sweet Chris is, Punchy tells her what an ass-kisser she is.

===[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break]]===

Here, Punchy reveals his feelings for [[Angelica]] to Wild. He says he doesn’t know how to ask a girl out and is too afraid to make the first move. Wild then informs him that the [[CWCville]] University is offering a [[Dating Education]] course. This excites Punchy, who insists on signing up for it as soon as possible.

===[[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Date Ed]]===

In this story, Punchy goes to the CWCville University to learn how to date. The teacher fixes Punchy up with [[Layla]], whom he falls in love with. [[Reginald Sneasel]] tries to sabotage their relationship, but fails. Using his totally awesome [[Prower|motorcycle with a sidecar]], he takes Layla on his first date to the classiest place in CWCville - [[McDonald's]].

===[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]===

Punchy, Wild, and Reginald Sneasel all get laid immediately after Dating Ed (probably on the [[third date]]). Punchy supposedly has a hangover at the beginning of this episode despite the fact that [[Alcohol|drinking]] was illegal in CWCville two seconds ago. Worth noting that in Virginia, being sober (which Layla was, since she didn't have such a hangover) and having sex with someone who's drunk counts as rape.

== Rove Quest ==

Punchy had a major hard-on for [[Angelica]], but then after meeting [[Layla]] he forgot all about her, probably realizing Angelica wasn't going to put out as quickly as Layla would. Turns out Punchy was wrong as Angelica is a dirty slut for Reginald Sneasel.

While Punchy was portrayed as a typical hapless shy suitor completely befuddled on how to approach the opposite sex (i.e. Chris-chan, Wild, Sonichu, etc.) Punchy deviates from the norm by being the only non-[[jerk]] male to make the first move in approaching a lady in the series once he sees an opening. By being willing to change himself and his methods, keeping his options open, remaining optimistic about his chances of seducing someone, being relaxed when talking to a potential partner of the opposite sex, and improvising when things didn't quite go his way the author ''once again'' inadvertently wrote a scathing indictment on the haplessness of his own [[Love Quest]].

"[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]" reveals that either Layla likes it rough in the sack or Punchy gets off on smacking her around.

== Prower, the Motorbike of Fail ==

: ''Main article: [[Prower]]''

According to [[CWCipedia]], Punchy's aforementioned totally awesome motorcycle, [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Prower]], doubles as a ninja [[Transformers|Autobot]] with "Razor-Sharp Choppin' Hands, Shuriken Stars and holographic images." This makes Punchy a "Sharp close-bot attacker," as well as yet another manifestation of Chris's rampant plagiarism.

==Garrely==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card
Image:273-ACPunchyBck.jpg|[[Animal Crossing|Animaru Kuroshingu]] card, reverse
Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|[[Pokémon|Poketto Monsuta]] card
Image:275-YuPunchy.jpg|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg|[[Punchy]] rearry [[Tomgirl Pictures|roves to wear]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|radies ringerie]].
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|Punchy rearry rike browjob!!!
Image:ProwerBot.jpg|[[Prower]], Punchy's [[Transformer]]
Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg
Image:ProwerVehicle.jpg
Image:276-Punchy.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Lefelences==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Punchy Sonichu}}
<references />

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category: Sonichus]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Trolls

2014-08-19T21:09:17Z

EDit209: Undo revision 173863 by EDit209 (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|they are vicious, crazy, wickedly smart people.|[[Chris]] on trolls.<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}
{{quote|What a world we live in, with such trolls in it.|[[Bubbles]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].}}[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Faceless Trolls.png|thumb|120px|The Furies]]
[[Image:Ff7troll.png|thumb|300px|Now for the [[HEXBox]].]]

'''Trolls''' (numbered about seven billion strong) are the various individuals of all races, colors, and creeds united under a common goal - to ruin the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]'s most beloved and most hated [[autism|autistic]] manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]].

Trolling schemes by these individuals have ranged from hacking CWC's websites to making him take [[Nudes|nude pics]] and more.

==Pre-ED==
It is notable that Chris was bullied IRL before his discovery by [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] and [[ED]]. It can be argued that the first known torment of Chris occurred when his lifelong-friend-who-no-longer-speaks-to-him, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|locked him under the house]] when they were children. The next notable bullying occurred during the infamous mini-date with [[Hanna]] in [[2005]] which smashed his [[heart level]] to 15%. Around the same time, he was also trolled by a girl he contacted through [[MySpace]] named [[MySpace messages#Lindsay|Lindsay Kaye]]. There was also possible trolling of Chris through the guestbook on his website from as early as [[2003]], when "a hot redhead" said that she would meet him outside of [[PVCC]] (either this was epic trolling, or Chris put it on the guestbook himself). And let's not forget about [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] hijinks.

But this was all child's play compared to what happened next....

== The Few, the Proud, the Elite ==

===Asperpedia Four===
Includes Alec Benson Leary (the creator of ''[[Asperchu]]''), [[Evan]] (the creator of ''Simonchu'', and therefore [[Simonla]]), Sean August Watley (the creator of ''Moon-Pals''), and Mao (the creator of the Asperpedia, which brought them all together).

[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|left|80px|thumb|BILLY MAYS]]

=== [[BILLY MAYS]] ===
The individual who trolls as the loud-mouthed salesman of the same name, who types in ALL CAPS, and was declared the mayor of [[CWCville]] by Chris on 3 March 2009 while under pressure from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]]. It is widely suspected that Chris himself had something to do with his untimely [[Chris and death|death]].

=== [[Blanca Weiss]] ===
[[Image:Blanka.jpg|80px|thumb|Blanca's true identity.]]

"Blanca" was really a trio of trolls (RickyRicardo123, Ickeriss69, and Nurse Icky-chan) who tricked Chris into sending them nudes, and later his [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]]. Ickeriss later uploaded a couple of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzlUoAOpiak videos] featuring the Sonichu medallion, including a video in which the medallion is destroyed.

Not to be confused with [[Trolls#Lordsillynipples|LordSillyNipples]], who used the Blanca identity to score the first nudes.

=== [[BlueSpike]] ===
BlueSpike (AKA "LeonSpike", aka "Julie", aka "Max") is a thirteen-year-old boy who pretended to be Chris's [[sweetheart]] "Julie". He later revealed himself as a troll in a now infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself|hour-long audio recording]] in which he berates Christian and makes him stick his Sonichu medallion up his ass.

[[Image:BryanBash.jpg|thumb|left|80px|Bryan Bash (right) with your sister (left).]]

=== Bryan Bash ===
Bryan Bash is a close friend of [[Clyde Cash]]. He is the one who [[Hooker incident|sent hookers over to Chris's house]], as well as the person who called during the infamous [[Bob Walks In|"Bob Walks In"]] audio file, and is responsible for leaking [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|an image]] of Chris having sex with the members of his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' band (including a [[niggo]]). Additionally, he leaked the [[Father Call]] and the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]] to [[/cwc/]] on 11 November, [[2009]], and he has also leaked conversations between [[Chris]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]].

=== [[Clyde Cash]] ===

[[image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|80px|right|Clyde Cash.The man.The legend.The guido.]]

The nefarious [[Clyde Cash]] is the most infamous and legendary of bullies. A vile and reprehensible fellow whose very name strikes fear and revulsion into Chris's clogged heart and inspires admiration from the souls of bullies. He posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], raped Chris's beloved [[PandaHalo]], and performed many more amazing feats about which songs shall be written and the minstrels shall sing of in the ages immemorial. Unfortunately it will not come to pass since Clyde is serving a life sentence for stealing the identity of Lee Hotti.

=== [[Emily]] ===
A brave soul who went on a date with Chris. She was later saved by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew in the Pickle Suit]].

[[File:Ahuvia.png|thumb|left|80px|Jack Thaddeus]]

=== [[Jack Thaddeus]] ===
The possible successor (and gay lover) of Clyde Cash and is responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings and also for the [[CWCipedia]] ads.

[[File:Jimmuh hill.jpg|thumb|80px|Jimmy Hill]]

=== [[Jimmy Hill]] ===
Jimmy Hill (full name James William Thomas Hill, OBE) is the true original creator of Sonichu, the first openly gay cartoon character that became very popular in Europe back in 2009. He has since retired as a billionaire.

=== [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] ===
The original creator of the [[ED]] page.

=== [[Man in the Pickle Suit|The Jew in the Pickle Suit]] ===
An IRL pickleman who answers to Clyde Cash. He saved Emily from the clutches of Chris.

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|left|80px|The [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris]]

=== [[Liquid Chris]] ===
A [[YouTube]] troll who is known for doing a spot-on impersonation of Chris-chan. Within his saga, Liquid Chris is referred to as the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris-chan and creator of the popular comic character Sonichu, and Solid is referred to as an angry troll named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], who made outlandish claims that he was the real Chris.

=== Lordsillynipples ===
A troll from [[ED]] who was responsible for impersonating [[Blanca]] and being the first to obtain the now [[Pickles|infamous Chris-chan Noodz]] on 11 September 2008, along with [[Chris's DVD]]. She is also responsible for creating the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] and for feeding Chris the infamous guido picture of [[Clyde]].

=== [[Robert Simmons V]] ===
A YouTube troll who managed to gain Chris's trust by showing him support and mirroring his life. Along with [[Church audio|visiting Chris's church]] and meeting [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], he also had a hand in organizing the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily date]].

=== [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] ===
Shigeru Miyamoto (Japanese: 宮本茂) is the creator of some of Nintendo's most legendary video game franchises such as Mario, Zelda, and Star Fox. In 2009, he took time out of his busy schedule to troll Chris by pretending to be interested in his [[sonichu|yellow Sonic abortion]].

=== [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ===

While there's no definitive proof of these two being trolls, they have been known to dispense advice for Chris from time to time, especially on the subject of relationships.<ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> Considering the [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|results derived from said advice]], one cannot help but wonder about their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|true motivations]].

[[image:Tito 300.gif|thumb|80px|Surfshack Tito]]

=== [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] ===

An enigmatic troll who managed to invoke Chris's wrath on [[Surfshack Tito|two]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|separate]] occasions by hacking his PSN and taking the blame for ruining Chris's slim chances with [[The Wallflower]]. Recently, he has been involved in the destruction of Chris's beloved [[PS3]].

[[image:TH.PNG|thumb|80px|left|Thorg]]

=== [[Thorg]] ===
A troll responsible for creating a [[20 December 2009|slanderous billboard]] in 2009 and exposing [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] in 2011. A major part of Chris's 2011 [[Calling Out|blackmail campaign]].

[[image:Vivian.jpg|thumb|80px|Vivian]]

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
The creator of the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]] and various other Chris-related videos and cousin of Clyde Cash. A former white knight who turned troll after she realized Chris was a [[Vivian Gee E-mails|hopeless, thick-skulled moron]].
{{clear}}

==Devil Trolls==
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg|thumb|Featured in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.]]

Aside from the several notable figures above, the '''Devil Trolls''' are mysterious, evil creatures that appear in Chris's ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic series. These creatures are first mentioned in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and make their first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

Like many beings within Chris's comics, the Devil Trolls are inspired by his encounters in real life. Devil Trolls represent the various trolls that have given him such [[stress]] over his lifetime. This is shown when Chris encounters a set of them attacking a room containing his stuff from one of his earlier websites.

The Devil Trolls make their first mentioned appearance as some sort of grass protrusions taking away the fallen "[[IBAChandler]]" after Sonichu defeats him in ''Sonichu'' #9. They make their full appearance in ''Sonichu'' #10, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] encounters them inside a room containing his pictures from his various websites. Seeing as Chris can't create anything without ripping off original designs, Devil Trolls resemble [[Wikipedia:Troll doll|those old Troll toys]], minus their gems, with long tails and demon-like wings. They also sport sharp teeth.
{{clear}}

== Motivations ==
[[File:Trollll.PNG|thumb|Drawing of a troll appearing in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].]]

===Chris's perspective===
Chris himself has a more simplistic view of what motivates his enemies. When a [[Mailbag]] correspondent asked him to explain why he's trolled, and why so many people seem to hate him, Chris had this ingenious response:

{{quote|"Tehy're just jealous that they did not think of [[Sonichu]] first, or that I am more [[Chris and art|Artistically Talented]] than they are."|[[Chris]], [[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]}}

This is consistent with the advice given many children who are IRL trolled in school: that bullies are merely jealous of you, and want to see you react unfavorably. Since Chris [[Count Graduon|never moved past]] [[Manchester High School|high school]] mentally, he still believes he is hated because [[Ego|he is so much better than everyone else.]]

From his own attempts to illustrate trolling, it's obvious that Chris has no concept of how it works. When he tried his hand at impersonation, he thought that we'd all be trolled if he pretended to be an epic troll, but then [[Jack|a troll]] saw through his lie and forced him to admit that he is, indeed, a fat idiot. Chris believes that trolling has two steps: pretend to be someone you're not and then "troll" someone by revealing who you really are. [[Silvana]], a character based on his perception of forum trolls who claim to be people they aren't, thinks it's hilarious to pretend to be [[Meg Griffin]], kiss Chris, and then transform once she's out of sight. As a result, Chris walks away happy, unaware that he just kissed a tranny, defeating the entire point of "trolling" him.

Recently, it seems that he's decided that the majority of his hated trolls are actually homosexuals, combining his two major hates into one massive force of nature. The earliest this is seen is [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag&oldid=3208|a message he wrote] in his Mailbag section, exploding in rage over an added [[Twitter]] and how they could talk about him behind his back. Even more, in his [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|CWCipedia article on The Wallflower]], Chris has also decided that the trolls are also [[niggos|black]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris also considers trolling a ''crime'', and has somehow dedicated himself to stop trolling. However, Chris's views on trolling are very very skewed, as he believes that ''all'' trolling is equal to what he had done to him. A [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|recent video]] actually has him tell people how to act on the Internet [[Chris and hypocrisy|mere moments after revealing his real name, address, and phone number]].

As the years passed, Chris's take on trolls has erupted into a massive flight of fancy. Because he has been refused admittance to [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris has now proclaimed that the entire store is a massive front for Internet trolling, with [[Michael Snyder]] as the ringleader of it all. As well, he seems to have chosen the [[CWCki Forums]] as a major gathering place for trolls.

===His parents' perspective===
The [[Matthew Noble call]] in August 2010 revealed some interesting insights into Bob and Barbara Chandler's interpretation of what has happened to their son over the years. Chris's parents are apparently convinced that the entire Chris-chan Trolldom grew out of a conspiracy by Michael Snyder, two alleged homosexuals who frequented The GAMe PLACe (possibly [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), and ''[[Megan Schroeder]]'', who worked to get Chris banned from the store and are involved with a general effort to harass and torment Chris. When speaking with Ivy, Bob described Megan with words like "cruel" and "German". Bob was convinced that it is all because they are persecuting Chris for being autistic, while in reality he was scaring away customers with his behavior and sexually harassing Megan.

It's useful to try to consider things from his parents' point of view. To begin with, there ''is'' a worldwide conspiracy, more or less, to pester the Chandlers, violate their privacy, drive their son to do ridiculous things, and otherwise fuck with them in myriad ways. Bob and Barbara are bombarded by prank phone calls all day, nude photos, God knows what else arrive in their mail, signs mysteriously appearing on their lawn, Chris having [[Kacey and Liquid Call|angry screaming matches]] with people they've never met on the telephone, Chris once drove off to Ohio to meet [[Julie|a woman who didn't exist]], and so on.

Being Chris's parents must be a fairly surreal experience at this point, and given that they belong to a much older generation, they can hardly be expected to develop the grasp of Internet social phenomena that they'd need to properly understand their situation. The GAMe PLACe, however small a piece of the bigger picture it may be, is the most significant real, physical element of Chris's adventures in trolldom that they've been exposed to. As ridiculous as their theory may seem, it's probably the best they can do as far as making sense of what has happened and continues to happen to them.

==Chris the Troll==

While the idea of everyone's favorite manchild becoming the one thing he hates seems kind of farfetched if not laughably ironic, it actually isn't too far off as one might think. Because of his horrendous misconceptions of what he thinks his trolls does, Chris believes that, if given a new target, Chris's trolls would gladly stop attacking him and go after that new target. In the past, Chris has tried to deflect his trolls towards people like [[Joshua Martinez]], [[Michael Snyder]] and even [[Mimms]]. However, Chris has been so entrenched with his trolls and viewers that the idea of going after someone else doesn't seem feasible anymore.

As well, Chris has even attempted to troll his own trolls. One of the first known attempts was the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, claiming that he had pulled the most epic prank on the Internet, only to turn around the very next day and reveal that it was a lie. [[Sonichu 10]], as mentioned above, had his comic book self thinking he had kissed [[Meg Griffin]], not knowing that it was actually [[Silvana]]. As well, on 28 [[April 2012]], he attempted to convince his trolls that he had decided to return to the mall and resume his [[Love Quest]], armed with his [[Attraction Sign]]. Again, he revealed the next day that it was a lie and that he had gotten [[ban]]ned from the mall just before he decided to pull it.

Interestingly, Chris's perception of being a troll is less about trolling to get a rise out of someone and more of attempting to pull a prank. His "return" to the Love Quest is probably the biggest indicator of that. Chris let his trolls know through his [[Facebook]], then waited a day before shouting "SURPRISE!" As well, he also believed that if someone reads his message, he's going to assume that everyone has and that they are going to descend on the mall like a bad flash mob just to find Chris. Too bad most everyone, unlike Chris, has lives of their own.

However, if there is one person that Chris himself has successfully trolled, without a shadow of a doubt, it's ''himself''. Proof of this can be directly pointed to his [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|bad habit of surrendering information]] about himself, no matter how [[Tomgirl|embarassing]], [[Nudes|demeaning]], or [[Dox|downright stupid]] giving out said tidbits of himself would be. Chris often screams at his trolls for not leaving him alone, but, aside from the fact that his antics only add more fuel to the fire, he always fails to realise that if he didn't give them ammo to begin with, he wouldn't have ended up in this predicament. A shining example of this would be the [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur leak]]. Chris could have ranted about the trolls, and most would have shrugged and assumed that [[Anger|he's just being angry in typical Chris-Chan fashion.]] That is, until Chris revealed the reason ''why'' he got upset, inadvertently revealing the Facebook posts he was keeping a secret, as well as some [[Death Threats|very unsavory information]] that could get him arrested if taken seriously.

It just goes to show you, nobody trolls Chris better than Chris. Chris is the type to not only shoot himself in the foot, but reload, fire again, and repeat the cycle while blaming the trolls. He just never learns.

==See also==
* [[4-cent garbage.com]]
* [[CWCki]]
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
* [[PVCC (Message Board)|PVCC]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin']]
* [[White knight]]
* [[A-Logging]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Trolls}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Trolls

2014-08-19T21:07:10Z

EDit209: /* Chris the Troll */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|they are vicious, crazy, wickedly smart people.|[[Chris]] on trolls.<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]</ref>}}
{{quote|What a world we live in, with such trolls in it.|[[Bubbles]], in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].}}[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Faceless Trolls.png|thumb|120px|The Furies]]
[[Image:Ff7troll.png|thumb|300px|Now for the [[HEXBox]].]]

'''Trolls''' (numbered about seven billion strong) are the various individuals of all races, colors, and creeds united under a common goal - to ruin the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]'s most beloved and most hated [[autism|autistic]] manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]].

Trolling schemes by these individuals have ranged from hacking CWC's websites to making him take [[Nudes|nude pics]] and more.

==Pre-ED==
It is notable that Chris was bullied IRL before his discovery by [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] and [[ED]]. It can be argued that the first known torment of Chris occurred when his lifelong-friend-who-no-longer-speaks-to-him, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|locked him under the house]] when they were children. The next notable bullying occurred during the infamous mini-date with [[Hanna]] in [[2005]] which smashed his [[heart level]] to 15%. Around the same time, he was also trolled by a girl he contacted through [[MySpace]] named [[MySpace messages#Lindsay|Lindsay Kaye]]. There was also possible trolling of Chris through the guestbook on his website from as early as [[2003]], when "a hot redhead" said that she would meet him outside of [[PVCC]] (either this was epic trolling, or Chris put it on the guestbook himself). And let's not forget about [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] hijinks.

But this was all child's play compared to what happened next....

== The Few, the Proud, the Elite ==

===Asperpedia Four===
Includes Alec Benson Leary (the creator of ''[[Asperchu]]''), [[Evan]] (the creator of ''Simonchu'', and therefore [[Simonla]]), Sean August Watley (the creator of ''Moon-Pals''), and Mao (the creator of the Asperpedia, which brought them all together).

[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|left|80px|thumb|BILLY MAYS]]

=== [[BILLY MAYS]] ===
The individual who trolls as the loud-mouthed salesman of the same name, who types in ALL CAPS, and was declared the mayor of [[CWCville]] by Chris on 3 March 2009 while under pressure from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]]. It is widely suspected that Chris himself had something to do with his untimely [[Chris and death|death]].

=== [[Blanca Weiss]] ===
[[Image:Blanka.jpg|80px|thumb|Blanca's true identity.]]

"Blanca" was really a trio of trolls (RickyRicardo123, Ickeriss69, and Nurse Icky-chan) who tricked Chris into sending them nudes, and later his [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]]. Ickeriss later uploaded a couple of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzlUoAOpiak videos] featuring the Sonichu medallion, including a video in which the medallion is destroyed.

Not to be confused with [[Trolls#Lordsillynipples|LordSillyNipples]], who used the Blanca identity to score the first nudes.

=== [[BlueSpike]] ===
BlueSpike (AKA "LeonSpike", aka "Julie", aka "Max") is a thirteen-year-old boy who pretended to be Chris's [[sweetheart]] "Julie". He later revealed himself as a troll in a now infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself|hour-long audio recording]] in which he berates Christian and makes him stick his Sonichu medallion up his ass.

[[Image:BryanBash.jpg|thumb|left|80px|Bryan Bash (right) with your sister (left).]]

=== Bryan Bash ===
Bryan Bash is a close friend of [[Clyde Cash]]. He is the one who [[Hooker incident|sent hookers over to Chris's house]], as well as the person who called during the infamous [[Bob Walks In|"Bob Walks In"]] audio file, and is responsible for leaking [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|an image]] of Chris having sex with the members of his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' band (including a [[niggo]]). Additionally, he leaked the [[Father Call]] and the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]] to [[/cwc/]] on 11 November, [[2009]], and he has also leaked conversations between [[Chris]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]].

=== [[Clyde Cash]] ===

[[image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|80px|right|Clyde Cash.The man.The legend.The guido.]]

The nefarious [[Clyde Cash]] is the most infamous and legendary of bullies. A vile and reprehensible fellow whose very name strikes fear and revulsion into Chris's clogged heart and inspires admiration from the souls of bullies. He posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], raped Chris's beloved [[PandaHalo]], and performed many more amazing feats about which songs shall be written and the minstrels shall sing of in the ages immemorial. Unfortunately it will not come to pass since Clyde is serving a life sentence for stealing the identity of Lee Hotti.

=== [[Emily]] ===
A brave soul who went on a date with Chris. She was later saved by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew in the Pickle Suit]].

[[File:Ahuvia.png|thumb|left|80px|Jack Thaddeus]]

=== [[Jack Thaddeus]] ===
The possible successor (and gay lover) of Clyde Cash and is responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings and also for the [[CWCipedia]] ads.

[[File:Jimmuh hill.jpg|thumb|80px|Jimmy Hill]]

=== [[Jimmy Hill]] ===
Jimmy Hill (full name James William Thomas Hill, OBE) is the true original creator of Sonichu, the first openly gay cartoon character that became very popular in Europe back in 2009. He has since retired as a billionaire.

=== [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] ===
The original creator of the [[ED]] page.

=== [[Man in the Pickle Suit|The Jew in the Pickle Suit]] ===
An IRL pickleman who answers to Clyde Cash. He saved Emily from the clutches of Chris.

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|left|80px|The [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris]]

=== [[Liquid Chris]] ===
A [[YouTube]] troll who is known for doing a spot-on impersonation of Chris-chan. Within his saga, Liquid Chris is referred to as the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris-chan and creator of the popular comic character Sonichu, and Solid is referred to as an angry troll named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], who made outlandish claims that he was the real Chris.

=== Lordsillynipples ===
A troll from [[ED]] who was responsible for impersonating [[Blanca]] and being the first to obtain the now [[Pickles|infamous Chris-chan Noodz]] on 11 September 2008, along with [[Chris's DVD]]. She is also responsible for creating the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] and for feeding Chris the infamous guido picture of [[Clyde]].

=== [[Robert Simmons V]] ===
A YouTube troll who managed to gain Chris's trust by showing him support and mirroring his life. Along with [[Church audio|visiting Chris's church]] and meeting [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], he also had a hand in organizing the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily date]].

=== [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] ===
Shigeru Miyamoto (Japanese: 宮本茂) is the creator of some of Nintendo's most legendary video game franchises such as Mario, Zelda, and Star Fox. In 2009, he took time out of his busy schedule to troll Chris by pretending to be interested in his [[sonichu|yellow Sonic abortion]].

=== [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ===

While there's no definitive proof of these two being trolls, they have been known to dispense advice for Chris from time to time, especially on the subject of relationships.<ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> Considering the [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|results derived from said advice]], one cannot help but wonder about their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|true motivations]].

[[image:Tito 300.gif|thumb|80px|Surfshack Tito]]

=== [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] ===

An enigmatic troll who managed to invoke Chris's wrath on [[Surfshack Tito|two]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|separate]] occasions by hacking his PSN and taking the blame for ruining Chris's slim chances with [[The Wallflower]]. Recently, he has been involved in the destruction of Chris's beloved [[PS3]].

[[image:TH.PNG|thumb|80px|left|Thorg]]

=== [[Thorg]] ===
A troll responsible for creating a [[20 December 2009|slanderous billboard]] in 2009 and exposing [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] in 2011. A major part of Chris's 2011 [[Calling Out|blackmail campaign]].

[[image:Vivian.jpg|thumb|80px|Vivian]]

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
The creator of the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]] and various other Chris-related videos and cousin of Clyde Cash. A former white knight who turned troll after she realized Chris was a [[Vivian Gee E-mails|hopeless, thick-skulled moron]].
{{clear}}

==Devil Trolls==
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:ModNation TrollFemale.jpg|thumb|Featured in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.]]

Aside from the several notable figures above, the '''Devil Trolls''' are mysterious, evil creatures that appear in Chris's ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic series. These creatures are first mentioned in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and make their first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

Like many beings within Chris's comics, the Devil Trolls are inspired by his encounters in real life. Devil Trolls represent the various trolls that have given him such [[stress]] over his lifetime. This is shown when Chris encounters a set of them attacking a room containing his stuff from one of his earlier websites.

The Devil Trolls make their first mentioned appearance as some sort of grass protrusions taking away the fallen "[[IBAChandler]]" after Sonichu defeats him in ''Sonichu'' #9. They make their full appearance in ''Sonichu'' #10, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] encounters them inside a room containing his pictures from his various websites. Seeing as Chris can't create anything without ripping off original designs, Devil Trolls resemble [[Wikipedia:Troll doll|those old Troll toys]], minus their gems, with long tails and demon-like wings. They also sport sharp teeth.
{{clear}}

== Motivations ==
[[File:Trollll.PNG|thumb|Drawing of a troll appearing in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].]]

===Chris's perspective===
Chris himself has a more simplistic view of what motivates his enemies. When a [[Mailbag]] correspondent asked him to explain why he's trolled, and why so many people seem to hate him, Chris had this ingenious response:

{{quote|"Tehy're just jealous that they did not think of [[Sonichu]] first, or that I am more [[Chris and art|Artistically Talented]] than they are."|[[Chris]], [[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]}}

This is consistent with the advice given many children who are IRL trolled in school: that bullies are merely jealous of you, and want to see you react unfavorably. Since Chris [[Count Graduon|never moved past]] [[Manchester High School|high school]] mentally, he still believes he is hated because [[Ego|he is so much better than everyone else.]]

From his own attempts to illustrate trolling, it's obvious that Chris has no concept of how it works. When he tried his hand at impersonation, he thought that we'd all be trolled if he pretended to be an epic troll, but then [[Jack|a troll]] saw through his lie and forced him to admit that he is, indeed, a fat idiot. Chris believes that trolling has two steps: pretend to be someone you're not and then "troll" someone by revealing who you really are. [[Silvana]], a character based on his perception of forum trolls who claim to be people they aren't, thinks it's hilarious to pretend to be [[Meg Griffin]], kiss Chris, and then transform once she's out of sight. As a result, Chris walks away happy, unaware that he just kissed a tranny, defeating the entire point of "trolling" him.

Recently, it seems that he's decided that the majority of his hated trolls are actually homosexuals, combining his two major hates into one massive force of nature. The earliest this is seen is [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag&oldid=3208|a message he wrote] in his Mailbag section, exploding in rage over an added [[Twitter]] and how they could talk about him behind his back. Even more, in his [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|CWCipedia article on The Wallflower]], Chris has also decided that the trolls are also [[niggos|black]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris also considers trolling a ''crime'', and has somehow dedicated himself to stop trolling. However, Chris's views on trolling are very very skewed, as he believes that ''all'' trolling is equal to what he had done to him. A [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|recent video]] actually has him tell people how to act on the Internet [[Chris and hypocrisy|mere moments after revealing his real name, address, and phone number]].

As the years passed, Chris's take on trolls has erupted into a massive flight of fancy. Because he has been refused admittance to [[The GAMe PLACe]], Chris has now proclaimed that the entire store is a massive front for Internet trolling, with [[Michael Snyder]] as the ringleader of it all. As well, he seems to have chosen the [[CWCki Forums]] as a major gathering place for trolls.

===His parents' perspective===
The [[Matthew Noble call]] in August 2010 revealed some interesting insights into Bob and Barbara Chandler's interpretation of what has happened to their son over the years. Chris's parents are apparently convinced that the entire Chris-chan Trolldom grew out of a conspiracy by Michael Snyder, two alleged homosexuals who frequented The GAMe PLACe (possibly [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), and ''[[Megan Schroeder]]'', who worked to get Chris banned from the store and are involved with a general effort to harass and torment Chris. When speaking with Ivy, Bob described Megan with words like "cruel" and "German". Bob was convinced that it is all because they are persecuting Chris for being autistic, while in reality he was scaring away customers with his behavior and sexually harassing Megan.

It's useful to try to consider things from his parents' point of view. To begin with, there ''is'' a worldwide conspiracy, more or less, to pester the Chandlers, violate their privacy, drive their son to do ridiculous things, and otherwise fuck with them in myriad ways. Bob and Barbara are bombarded by prank phone calls all day, nude photos, God knows what else arrive in their mail, signs mysteriously appearing on their lawn, Chris having [[Kacey and Liquid Call|angry screaming matches]] with people they've never met on the telephone, Chris once drove off to Ohio to meet [[Julie|a woman who didn't exist]], and so on.

Being Chris's parents must be a fairly surreal experience at this point, and given that they belong to a much older generation, they can hardly be expected to develop the grasp of Internet social phenomena that they'd need to properly understand their situation. The GAMe PLACe, however small a piece of the bigger picture it may be, is the most significant real, physical element of Chris's adventures in trolldom that they've been exposed to. As ridiculous as their theory may seem, it's probably the best they can do as far as making sense of what has happened and continues to happen to them.

==Chris the Troll==

While the idea of everyone's favorite manchild becoming the one thing he hates seems kind of farfetched if not laughably ironic, it actually isn't too far off as one might think. Because of his horrendous misconceptions of what he thinks his trolls does, Chris believes that, if given a new target, Chris's trolls would gladly stop attacking him and go after that new target. In the past, Chris has tried to deflect his trolls towards people like [[Joshua Martinez]], [[Michael Snyder]] and even [[Mimms]]. However, Chris has been so entrenched with his trolls and viewers that the idea of going after someone else doesn't seem feasible anymore.

As well, Chris has even attempted to troll his own trolls. One of the first known attempts was the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, claiming that he had pulled the most epic prank on the Internet, only to turn around the very next day and reveal that it was a lie. [[Sonichu 10]], as mentioned above, had his comic book self thinking he had kissed [[Meg Griffin]], not knowing that it was actually [[Silvana]]. As well, on 28 [[April 2012]], he attempted to convince his trolls that he had decided to return to the mall and resume his [[Love Quest]], armed with his [[Attraction Sign]]. Again, he revealed the next day that it was a lie and that he had gotten [[ban]]ned from the mall just before he decided to pull it.

Surprisingly (or perhaps not given this is Chris we're talking about), for someone who has been trolled as often as he has, Chris is rather bad at trolling. Chris's perception of being a troll is less about trolling to get a rise out of someone and more of attempting to pull a prank. His "return" to the Love Quest is probably the biggest indicator of that. Chris let his trolls know through his [[Facebook]], then waited a day before shouting "SURPRISE!" As well, he also believed that if someone reads his message, he's going to assume that everyone has and that they are going to descend on the mall like a bad flash mob just to find Chris. Too bad most everyone, unlike Chris, has lives of their own.

Chris also doesn't understand the difference between good-natured trolling and just being an ass online. The targets he wishes trolled like Michael Snyder and Megan are not people he wants to see get worked up for a laugh; they're people he wants to see hurt. Chris has never been canny enough to see the humor in the things that have happened to him and sees trolling as a violent force of nature: something that can hurt him but also be redirected to hurt his perceived enemies. Chris thinks doxing people is a form of trolling or at least a good lead into it. Chris fails to realize that the vicious and personal nature of these trolling attempts make him seem less sympathetic (and in many cases, more criminal) than anything else.

However, if there is one person that Chris himself has successfully trolled, without a shadow of a doubt, it's ''himself''. Proof of this can be directly pointed to his [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|bad habit of surrendering information]] about himself, no matter how [[Tomgirl|embarassing]], [[Nudes|demeaning]], or [[Dox|downright stupid]] giving out said tidbits of himself would be. Chris often screams at his trolls for not leaving him alone, but, aside from the fact that his antics only add more fuel to the fire, he always fails to realise that if he didn't give them ammo to begin with, he wouldn't have ended up in this predicament. A shining example of this would be the [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur leak]]. Chris could have ranted about the trolls, and most would have shrugged and assumed that [[Anger|he's just being angry in typical Chris-Chan fashion.]] That is, until Chris revealed the reason ''why'' he got upset, inadvertently revealing the Facebook posts he was keeping a secret, as well as some [[Death Threats|very unsavory information]] that could get him arrested if taken seriously.

It just goes to show you, nobody trolls Chris better than Chris. Chris is the type to not only shoot himself in the foot, but reload, fire again, and repeat the cycle while blaming the trolls. He just never learns.

==See also==
* [[4-cent garbage.com]]
* [[CWCki]]
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
* [[PVCC (Message Board)|PVCC]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin']]
* [[White knight]]
* [[A-Logging]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Trolls}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Chris and writing

2014-08-18T22:52:48Z

EDit209: /* Plot and Drama */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]

[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.

== General problems ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''

Chris's writing shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. Like many elementary school kids, Chris frequently pauses from the action to [[Autism|describe exactly what a character is wearing]] and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] in unnecessary detail. This is counterbalanced by frequently [[Evan|glossing over things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Sometimes Chris would interrupt an action scene to introduce something that is completely irrelevant to its context.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> Its overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. As well, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is seen by many people as just plain lazy.

Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and contradicts what has come before as he pleases, unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience.

=== Exposition ===
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}

As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref>

In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks. (The worst offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.) With those examples, it shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In those cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told them same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.

[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee Hee" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]

=== Characterization ===
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''

Chris's characters as they are written are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. In his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|second call with Alec Benson Leary]] Chris explained that because he considers all of his characters to be very much real, living things that exist in some sort of cartoon universe, giving them flaws would amount tormenting a living creature (in the context of the conversation, Chris defended bleaching [[Asperchu]] into "Mitch Sonichu" because the character shouldn't have to suffer his original name). His main response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial.

The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective. Including the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|children]].

This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities- all of the males are shallow bastards who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are shallow whores who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully revelling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.

Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating in exposition something akin to "it just happened." With [[Blake]], who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he "flips." His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] and an equally sudden mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. No reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''.

===Dialogue===
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because [[Chris|some people]] [[Autism|rarely get visual references]]."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his [[Autism|total ineptitude with emotions]].

=== Plot and Drama ===
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.

Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis.

Similarly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A preview for a next issue tersely concludes the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to dismantling tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to prematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use the words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in his own comic''.

As you might guess, on top of everything else this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unspeakably boring.'''

The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very quickly and often with no real logic or progression just because they caught his fancy. There's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]] except he was interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. Likewise, as soon as Chris becomes uninterested in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed off-panel so that Chris can proceed to his newest internet girlf... ahem, plotline of interest. Other narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]], [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] or [[Jiggliami]]) can be forgotten and abandoned entirely with, if the reader is lucky, a sentence or two tying up the loose end.

The comic's narrative is further clouded by the unsteady rate at which Chris updates along with his habit of occasionally working out of order. For example, Chris ends the last story in [[Sonichu 9]] with announcing that [[GodJesus]] had guided him to love with [[PandaHalo]] only to have God and Jesus suddenly introduce him to Ivy in the very next book with no explanation for why the Lord of Lords is backtracking on his dating advice to his favorite son.

When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself for ''almost'' two issues, and when it ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.

=== Visual clarity ===
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]

Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his comics clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.

== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''

{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}

In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].

He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with odd terms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes, these reaches don't even rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity.'')<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>.

Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris's fail. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.

== Chris as a journalist ==
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]

''[[Nintendo Power]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.

Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact. Here it would seem that Chris is unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience disapproval of peers that concerned him as the reactions of Internet trolls would later.

Chris's next journalistic effort came in college with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which presumed that his person and daily life were of inherent reader interest.

== Chris as a blogger ==
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!‎|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on. The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format. Instead, Chris stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting an erratic and bizarre page layout.

He has also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results are only marginally easier to read.

To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[Twitter]]

The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, you're publishing your opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]].

Another, arguably more important fault is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring.''' Most bloggers realize that if you have to spew about your pathetic life, you'd better make it interesting. While Chris does release the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].

Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris shows that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen.

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}

==Chris as an essayist==

While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer;" the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie," "potatoes/rice/pasta," and "meat;" and the conclusion as "dessert." With this sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were naturally shallow. (In part this was a product of the assignment restrictions--his essay, "Work vs. Student Life," for example, was only 100 words long.) His history essay, "Japan, 1912-1949," which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion. His teacher deemed it "very confusing & unclear." Another history essay, "Who was our best President?," does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."

These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical. The only real exception has been "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future,"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref>, his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is no indication that Chris ever learned the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a frowny-face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject--himself--similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[Cwcipedia|Cwcipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.

== Chris's reading habits ==

Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a month prior, which is almost certainly because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and art]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[CWC's Diary]]
* [[R.L. Stine]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and writing

2014-08-18T00:27:32Z

EDit209: /* Characterization */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]

[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.

== General problems ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''

Chris's writing shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. Like many elementary school kids, Chris frequently pauses from the action to [[Autism|describe exactly what a character is wearing]] and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] in unnecessary detail. This is counterbalanced by frequently [[Evan|glossing over things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Sometimes Chris would interrupt an action scene to introduce something that is completely irrelevant to its context.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> Its overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. As well, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is seen by many people as just plain lazy.

Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and contradicts what has come before as he pleases, unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience.

=== Exposition ===
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}

As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref>

In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks. (The worst offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.) With those examples, it shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In those cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told them same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.

[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee Hee" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]

=== Characterization ===
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''

Chris's characters as they are written are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. In his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|second call with Alec Benson Leary]] Chris explained that because he considers all of his characters to be very much real, living things that exist in some sort of cartoon universe, giving them flaws would amount tormenting a living creature (in the context of the conversation, Chris defended bleaching [[Asperchu]] into "Mitch Sonichu" because the character shouldn't have to suffer his original name). His main response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial.

The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective. Including the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|children]].

This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities- all of the males are shallow bastards who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are shallow whores who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully revelling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.

Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating in exposition something akin to "it just happened." With [[Blake]], who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he "flips." His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] and an equally sudden mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. No reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''.

===Dialogue===
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because [[Chris|some people]] [[Autism|rarely get visual references]]."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his [[Autism|total ineptitude with emotions]].

=== Plot and Drama ===
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.

Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis.
/p[- ../
Simi/larly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A preview for a next issue ter/sely concludes the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to dismantling tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to pr/ematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use t/he words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in his own comic''.
/
A/s you might guess, on top of everything else this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unspeakably boring.'''
/
The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very quickly and often with no real logic or progression just because they caught his fancy. There's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]] except he was interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. Likewise, as soon as Chris becomes uninterested in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed off-panel so that Chris can proceed to his newest internet girlf... ahem, plotline of interest. Other narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]], [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] or [[Jiggliami]]) can be forgotten and abandoned entirely with, if the reader is lucky, a sentence or two tying up the loose end.

When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself for ''almost'' two issues, and when it ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.

=== Visual clarity ===
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]

Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his comics clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.

== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''

{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}

In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].

He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with odd terms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes, these reaches don't even rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity.'')<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>.

Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris's fail. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.

== Chris as a journalist ==
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]

''[[Nintendo Power]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.

Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact. Here it would seem that Chris is unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience disapproval of peers that concerned him as the reactions of Internet trolls would later.

Chris's next journalistic effort came in college with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which presumed that his person and daily life were of inherent reader interest.

== Chris as a blogger ==
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!‎|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on. The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format. Instead, Chris stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting an erratic and bizarre page layout.

He has also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results are only marginally easier to read.

To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[Twitter]]

The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, you're publishing your opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]].

Another, arguably more important fault is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring.''' Most bloggers realize that if you have to spew about your pathetic life, you'd better make it interesting. While Chris does release the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].

Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris shows that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen.

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}

==Chris as an essayist==

While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer;" the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie," "potatoes/rice/pasta," and "meat;" and the conclusion as "dessert." With this sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were naturally shallow. (In part this was a product of the assignment restrictions--his essay, "Work vs. Student Life," for example, was only 100 words long.) His history essay, "Japan, 1912-1949," which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion. His teacher deemed it "very confusing & unclear." Another history essay, "Who was our best President?," does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."

These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical. The only real exception has been "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future,"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref>, his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is no indication that Chris ever learned the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a frowny-face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject--himself--similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[Cwcipedia|Cwcipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.

== Chris's reading habits ==

Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a month prior, which is almost certainly because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and art]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[CWC's Diary]]
* [[R.L. Stine]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and writing

2014-08-18T00:12:34Z

EDit209: /* Plot and Drama */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]

[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.

== General problems ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''

Chris's writing shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. Like many elementary school kids, Chris frequently pauses from the action to [[Autism|describe exactly what a character is wearing]] and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] in unnecessary detail. This is counterbalanced by frequently [[Evan|glossing over things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Sometimes Chris would interrupt an action scene to introduce something that is completely irrelevant to its context.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> Its overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. As well, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is seen by many people as just plain lazy.

Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and contradicts what has come before as he pleases, unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience.

=== Exposition ===
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}

As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref>

In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks. (The worst offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.) With those examples, it shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In those cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told them same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.

[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee Hee" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]

=== Characterization ===
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''

Chris's characters as they are written are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. His main response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial.

The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective. Including the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|children]].

This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities- all of the males are shallow bastards who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are shallow whores who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully revelling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.

Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating in exposition something akin to "it just happened." With [[Blake]], who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he "flips." His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] and an equally sudden mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. No reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''.

===Dialogue===
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because [[Chris|some people]] [[Autism|rarely get visual references]]."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his [[Autism|total ineptitude with emotions]].

=== Plot and Drama ===
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.

Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis.
/p[- ../
Simi/larly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A preview for a next issue ter/sely concludes the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to dismantling tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to pr/ematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use t/he words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in his own comic''.
/
A/s you might guess, on top of everything else this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unspeakably boring.'''
/
The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very quickly and often with no real logic or progression just because they caught his fancy. There's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]] except he was interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. Likewise, as soon as Chris becomes uninterested in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed off-panel so that Chris can proceed to his newest internet girlf... ahem, plotline of interest. Other narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]], [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] or [[Jiggliami]]) can be forgotten and abandoned entirely with, if the reader is lucky, a sentence or two tying up the loose end.

When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself for ''almost'' two issues, and when it ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.

=== Visual clarity ===
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]

Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his comics clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.

== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''

{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}

In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].

He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with odd terms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes, these reaches don't even rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity.'')<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>.

Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris's fail. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.

== Chris as a journalist ==
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]

''[[Nintendo Power]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.

Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact. Here it would seem that Chris is unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience disapproval of peers that concerned him as the reactions of Internet trolls would later.

Chris's next journalistic effort came in college with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which presumed that his person and daily life were of inherent reader interest.

== Chris as a blogger ==
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!‎|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on. The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format. Instead, Chris stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting an erratic and bizarre page layout.

He has also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results are only marginally easier to read.

To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[Twitter]]

The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, you're publishing your opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]].

Another, arguably more important fault is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring.''' Most bloggers realize that if you have to spew about your pathetic life, you'd better make it interesting. While Chris does release the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].

Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris shows that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen.

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}

==Chris as an essayist==

While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer;" the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie," "potatoes/rice/pasta," and "meat;" and the conclusion as "dessert." With this sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were naturally shallow. (In part this was a product of the assignment restrictions--his essay, "Work vs. Student Life," for example, was only 100 words long.) His history essay, "Japan, 1912-1949," which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion. His teacher deemed it "very confusing & unclear." Another history essay, "Who was our best President?," does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."

These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical. The only real exception has been "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future,"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref>, his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is no indication that Chris ever learned the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a frowny-face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject--himself--similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[Cwcipedia|Cwcipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.

== Chris's reading habits ==

Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a month prior, which is almost certainly because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and art]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[CWC's Diary]]
* [[R.L. Stine]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and writing

2014-08-18T00:06:37Z

EDit209: /* Plot and Drama */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]

[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.

== General problems ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''

Chris's writing shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. Like many elementary school kids, Chris frequently pauses from the action to [[Autism|describe exactly what a character is wearing]] and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] in unnecessary detail. This is counterbalanced by frequently [[Evan|glossing over things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Sometimes Chris would interrupt an action scene to introduce something that is completely irrelevant to its context.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> Its overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. As well, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is seen by many people as just plain lazy.

Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and contradicts what has come before as he pleases, unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience.

=== Exposition ===
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}

As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref>

In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks. (The worst offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.) With those examples, it shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In those cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told them same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.

[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee Hee" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]

=== Characterization ===
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''

Chris's characters as they are written are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. His main response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial.

The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective. Including the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|children]].

This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities- all of the males are shallow bastards who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are shallow whores who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully revelling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.

Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating in exposition something akin to "it just happened." With [[Blake]], who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he "flips." His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] and an equally sudden mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. No reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''.

===Dialogue===
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because [[Chris|some people]] [[Autism|rarely get visual references]]."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his [[Autism|total ineptitude with emotions]].

=== Plot and Drama ===
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.

Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis.

Similarly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A preview for a next issue tersely concludes the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to dismantling tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to prematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use the words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in his own comic''.

As you might guess, on top of everything else this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unspeakably boring.'''

The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very quickly and often with no real logic or progression because they caught his fancy. There's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]] except he was interested in them at the time he was writing it. Given the slow and often erratic rate Chris writes, this can often make the sudden inclusion of new elements all the more jarring. Likewise, as soon as Chris becomes uninterested in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed off-panel so that Chris can proceed to his newest internet girlf... ahem, plotline of interest. Other narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]], [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] or [[Jiggliami]]) can be forgotten and abandoned entirely with, if the reader is lucky, a sentence or two tying up the loose end.

When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself for ''almost'' two issues, and when it ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.

=== Visual clarity ===
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]

Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his comics clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.

== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''

{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}

In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].

He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with odd terms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes, these reaches don't even rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity.'')<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>.

Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris's fail. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.

== Chris as a journalist ==
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]

''[[Nintendo Power]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.

Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact. Here it would seem that Chris is unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience disapproval of peers that concerned him as the reactions of Internet trolls would later.

Chris's next journalistic effort came in college with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which presumed that his person and daily life were of inherent reader interest.

== Chris as a blogger ==
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!‎|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on. The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format. Instead, Chris stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting an erratic and bizarre page layout.

He has also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results are only marginally easier to read.

To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[Twitter]]

The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, you're publishing your opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]].

Another, arguably more important fault is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring.''' Most bloggers realize that if you have to spew about your pathetic life, you'd better make it interesting. While Chris does release the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].

Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris shows that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen.

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}

==Chris as an essayist==

While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer;" the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie," "potatoes/rice/pasta," and "meat;" and the conclusion as "dessert." With this sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were naturally shallow. (In part this was a product of the assignment restrictions--his essay, "Work vs. Student Life," for example, was only 100 words long.) His history essay, "Japan, 1912-1949," which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion. His teacher deemed it "very confusing & unclear." Another history essay, "Who was our best President?," does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."

These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical. The only real exception has been "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future,"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref>, his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is no indication that Chris ever learned the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a frowny-face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject--himself--similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[Cwcipedia|Cwcipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.

== Chris's reading habits ==

Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a month prior, which is almost certainly because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and art]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[CWC's Diary]]
* [[R.L. Stine]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and the industry

2014-08-14T22:56:12Z

EDit209: /* Freelance Artwork */

{{incomplete}}
{{quote|----When Do You Want [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA]] to Talk to Me to EVOLVE [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] more Realistically?----
NOW!!!|Chris, [[An Important Update|demanding that multinational corporations take orders from a nobody]]}}

Chris has had numerous '''aspirations to work in creative industries'''. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official ''Sonichu'' video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, [[Chris and his Ego|for reasons best known to himself]], he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

== Publishing ==

In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his [[art]] isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] or [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], creating his ''Sonichu'' comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in case of "original" creations. In the case of an original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the [[Asperchu|wheat]] from the [[Sonichu (comic)|chaff]] and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot. If the ''[[Sonichu Chronicles]]'' PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on ''Sonichu'' comics.

Even if Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even so, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (sometimes quarterly). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common ([[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC Comics]], for example, experimented with the weekly format in the [[1980s]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Action_Comics#Action_Comics_Weekly|Action Comics Weekly]]'', which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics|Action Comics]]'' title. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''[[Wikipedia:52 (comics)|52]]'', ''Countdown'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Trinity (comic book)|Trinity]]''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival that of infamous artist [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even resisted attempts to educate him in this regard.<ref>[[Mailbag 29]]</ref>

== Fan fiction and ideas from the public ==
Chris could approach [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]] and ask them to make ''Sonichu'' games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure, because no media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

First, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give equal amount of thought on the bazillion ideas fans send them. While the game companies ''do'' listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''[[Wikipedia:Fire Emblem|Fire Emblem]]'' games got worldwide release was because the fans of [[Wikipedia:Marth (Fire Emblem)|Marth]] and [[Wikipedia:List of Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi characters#Roy|Roy]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Melee|Super Smash Bros. Melee]]'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't [[Nintendo]] releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying Chris had, as he himself so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their precious time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Second, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with exactly the same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist [[Wikipedia:Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]], who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. The game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris numerous times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games takes a lot of effort. In [[Wikipedia:Thomas Edison|Thomas Edison]]'s words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games, if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Theoretically, it would be possible, though highly unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough the make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris's current skill at art).

== Other publication channels ==

Chris hasn't even tried any self-publishing channels. The idea has only recently been addressed, with [[Clyde Cash]] posting Chris's comics on [[Wikipedia:Lulu (company)|Lulu.com]]. Chris so far has only responded by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later. According to [[Jackie e-mails Part 2]], Chris has been fixing up his pages to be published on Lulu, taking an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish this amazingly simple task.

The thought of monetizing his web comic hasn't crossed his mind either. People have been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' — the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

It also took a while for Chris to come up with the idea of drawing on-camera, and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often.

== Schedule slip ==
Most webcomics have a set schedule: some update weekly, some many times a week, some daily. Some webcomics update whenever the hell the artists get inspired enough to draw a comic, and probably reserve a whole forum for people who whine about lack of updates. Most webcomic artists that update the comic three times a week consider that schedule very demanding, and webcomics that update daily usually generate revenue of some sort (ads, donations, print versions, merchandise, what-have-you), allowing the artists treat their comics like a full-day job. These are called self-sufficient webcomics. (Examples: ''Penny Arcade'', ''xkcd'', ''Questionable Content'')

Chris has thoroughly embraced the point of view that the comic shouldn't have a set schedule and inspiration doesn't have a deadline... while ''also'' promising us that the comic would be updated daily. On 14 [[November 2009]], Chris promised that the comic would be updated daily, and he managed to fulfill this promise for a while. By the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris was already placing author-substitutes in the story telling people to quit whining about the lack of updates. This is obviously not a question of punctuality, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]]; Chris would avoid a lot of drama if he just admitted that there's no set schedule whatsoever after all. If one ''does'' consider this a question of punctuality, it doesn't look too good.

Chris also tends to update in spurts in an attempt to make up for missed days; this can range anywhere from three to twenty pages at a time. Most professional webcartoonists have a buffer of guest comics so that they can avoid this sort of thing, but the thought of doing so has apparently never entered Chris's [[autistic]] mind.

== Freelance Artwork ==
As of 2014, Chris has started to try and sell [[commissions|individual pieces of artwork on a made-to-order basis]]. In the creative arts (particularly in the modern, web-enabled world) selling commissions is a common practice and can be beneficial to an artist not just financially but also in terms of exposure. For Chris, this was actually a fairly smart move: trolls had be wanting him to produce more art for years and he was offering a way of doing so that benefited himself. Freelance artists, however, also have to occasionally set their personal interests aside in the name of making a sale. So far Chris has sold a work depicting him making peace with [[Clyde Cash]]'s comic persona Cly and another depicting him defeated at the hands of [[Liquid Chris]]. If producing either caused Chris his legendary [[stress]], he has yet to divulge so. Either way it's a huge step compared to how he's acted in the past when [[Simonla Rosechu|drawing something he doesn't want to]].

So far there have only been a handful of takers on his offer, likely because Chris set a rather exorbitant baseline for commissions: $50.00 for black-and-white artwork, an additional $50.00 for color and another $100.00 ''to frame it'' for the client. Setting commission prices is one of the first challenges a turned-professional artist has to face: the artist has to gauge the demand for the product they produce, compare similarly skilled artists and their asking prices and generally weigh the value of the time put into producing against the profit made. Since Chris considers his art [[Chris and His Ego|professional quality]] and has functionally [[Monthly Tugboat|nothing else to do with his time]], asking $200.00 for a framed picture of everyone's favorite electric hedgehogs is really a good idea in his mind only.

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[An Important Update]]
* ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' (game)]]

{{Chris and}}

Chris and the industry

2014-08-14T22:55:12Z

EDit209:

{{incomplete}}
{{quote|----When Do You Want [[Nintendo]] and [[SEGA]] to Talk to Me to EVOLVE [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] more Realistically?----
NOW!!!|Chris, [[An Important Update|demanding that multinational corporations take orders from a nobody]]}}

Chris has had numerous '''aspirations to work in creative industries'''. So far, he has expressed his desire to make [[Sonichu (game)|several official ''Sonichu'' video games]], and work on a real [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] for a real comic publisher. However, [[Chris and his Ego|for reasons best known to himself]], he elects not to find out how these industries actually work, which is quite strange; one would assume that a person seeking a career in the industries would at least take ''some'' effort to find out how the said industries work.

== Publishing ==

In ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'' and [[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]], it's revealed that Chris is under the impression that his [[art]] isn't just good, but professional quality, and that he aspires to get into the comics and video game business. The résumé reveals his widely varied skills with both pens and crayons and his desire to work as an artist for a professional comic company such as [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] or [[Wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], creating his ''Sonichu'' comics. There is no word on whether or not he actually submitted anything to these companies, or if they replied.

Unfortunately for Chris, the publishing industry doesn't work this way, especially not in case of "original" creations. In the case of an original work, the publishers expect complete works to be submitted to them, usually through an agent. An agent's job is to separate the [[Asperchu|wheat]] from the [[Sonichu (comic)|chaff]] and find the correct publisher for the work, taking a small percentage of the eventual profit for their reward. If the publishers take unsolicited submissions, they have to sift through a gigantic backlog (often called "slushpile") of submissions of highly varying quality, most of which end up rejected multiple times before there will be a publisher with right market in mind and the right publication schedule to allow the publication deal to go forward. The whole process can take years in case of a single work.

If comic book publishers have salaried artists, they usually need to have a portfolio of previous work, usually work that has already been published commercially, or (if the comic house is ''particularly'' lenient, and most big names aren't) there has to be evidence of a successfully self-published, high-quality comic. And even in this case, these artists usually only work on characters and plotlines that come from inside the house; it can take time before the artist is in any position to present their own ideas for comics, or use their own original characters. Even if he ''were'' able to stick in a company for a long time, he'd still need to improve his communication skills a lot. If the ''[[Sonichu Chronicles]]'' PowerPoint and various phone conversations are of any indication, he's unable to persuade his superiors that his ideas are worth working on.

In short, Chris is deluded if he thinks that any company will just pick him up and tell him to work on ''Sonichu'' comics.

Even if Chris does get in, there's also the problem with scheduling. Most comics are worked on far in advance, thus allowing for any changes concerning a book, such as plot problems, character availability changes or even cancellations. Even so, many of them maintain a certain schedule, either monthly or bi-monthly (sometimes quarterly). Very rarely do comics go bi-weekly (one every two weeks), though weekly series have been more common ([[Wikipedia:DC Comics|DC Comics]], for example, experimented with the weekly format in the [[1980s]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Action_Comics#Action_Comics_Weekly|Action Comics Weekly]]'', which bombed and put the title on hiatus for a few months, returning it to its normal ''[[Wikipedia:Action Comics|Action Comics]]'' title. Twenty years later, DC has churned out a number of weekly series, including ''[[Wikipedia:52 (comics)|52]]'', ''Countdown'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Trinity (comic book)|Trinity]]''.)

Chris, however, has no schedule. His schedule consists of "whenever he has the inspiration" to work. That doesn't cut it. If Chris went with that alone, he would have a release schedule that would rival that of infamous artist [[Wikipedia:Rob Liefeld|Rob Liefeld]]. And where Liefeld, for the most part, could get away with it because he owned his own company at one point (and people have gotten him to actually do the work), if Chris pulled this kind of stunt, he'd be out on the street so fast, his head would spin.

Chris's understanding of [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] is a chapter in itself. Publishers want primarily original works, because securing the necessary rights to publish derivative works is often difficult or impossible. Chris has even resisted attempts to educate him in this regard.<ref>[[Mailbag 29]]</ref>

== Fan fiction and ideas from the public ==
Chris could approach [[Sega]] and [[Nintendo]] and ask them to make ''Sonichu'' games, comics and merchandise. This plan would also be doomed to failure, because no media companies want unsolicited ideas from the public. There are several reasons for this.

First, it takes effort to sift through idea piles and they can't give equal amount of thought on the bazillion ideas fans send them. While the game companies ''do'' listen to their fans, they usually just want to know if the time is ripe for something they've been planning to do. (For example, no doubt a big part of the reason why the newer ''[[Wikipedia:Fire Emblem|Fire Emblem]]'' games got worldwide release was because the fans of [[Wikipedia:Marth (Fire Emblem)|Marth]] and [[Wikipedia:List of Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi characters#Roy|Roy]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Melee|Super Smash Bros. Melee]]'' were wondering aloud "why the hell isn't [[Nintendo]] releasing these games outside of Japan?") They most certainly don't have the capability of starting a whole new game project just because someone asks. If the game companies respond by saying Chris had, as he himself so [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|eloquently put]], "rocks in his head", then you probably don't get a slice of their precious time for making a second impression. Simply put, Chris thinks that even when the companies aren't busy with other projects, they still have time to think of ''his'' grandiose ideas ''and those things only''.

Second, there is an age-old problem in a litigious society: A fan writes to the company and says "I have this cool idea", the company says "thanks, but no thanks", one of the in-house writers comes up with exactly the same idea by accident, and boom, you have a fan who's suing you for idea theft, and even if that lawsuit will usually go nowhere, it wastes perfectly usable time, energy and most of all ''money'' that could be used for more fruitful ventures. A famous example is British novelist [[Wikipedia:Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]], who used to post in his Usenet fan group until one of the fans was convinced Terry had stolen his ideas.

Therefore, most media houses will just say they will not take any ideas from the public. The game industry is not an exception. This fact has been pointed out to Chris numerous times (and at least twice by real Nintendo representatives, as evidenced by the letters he has read in the Captain's Logs<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]]</ref>). Unfortunately, Chris misinterpreted all this.

Another thing that Chris disregards is the fact that writing games takes a lot of effort. In [[Wikipedia:Thomas Edison|Thomas Edison]]'s words, getting things done is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Many good ideas don't get implemented. No one is going to invest energy in developing an idea alone if they don't know if the idea can be implemented. Game companies may be willing to negotiate a deal to use their properties (such as characters) in games developed by third parties, but those proposals are usually backed up by real companies, actual creative teams of developers, and serious, complete plans for games, if not outright working prototypes already. Even in the case the properties are tacked on the prototype later on, the prototypes are usually fully developed so that they can be used ''without'' those properties if the plans fall through. (Example: ''[[Wikipedia:Star Fox Adventures|Star Fox Adventures]]'' began as a game that was completely unrelated to Star Fox universe, but Nintendo felt the game was better with SF characters.)

Theoretically, it would be possible, though highly unlikely, for Sega and Nintendo to cooperate enough the make a game featuring a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid named Sonichu. They would not, however, need any input from Chris, or even his permission, to combine characters that ''they'' own. Think about it. Of course, the idea of releasing it cross-platform for ''Sony consoles'' remains yet another absurd and fevered dream on the part of Chris.

In the Sonichu Chronicles he gives [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] "permission" to use the cover to his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]] as the inevitable cover for when his game is created, even though it's several years old (and, in fact, even ''worse'' than Chris's current skill at art).

== Other publication channels ==

Chris hasn't even tried any self-publishing channels. The idea has only recently been addressed, with [[Clyde Cash]] posting Chris's comics on [[Wikipedia:Lulu (company)|Lulu.com]]. Chris so far has only responded by encouraging his [[fans]] not to buy them, and to simply wait for him to release the "real" versions later. According to [[Jackie e-mails Part 2]], Chris has been fixing up his pages to be published on Lulu, taking an unreasonable amount of time to accomplish this amazingly simple task.

The thought of monetizing his web comic hasn't crossed his mind either. People have been annoying – nay, ''harassing'' him with advertising he didn't approve of, yet when he attempted to replace these offensive ads with ads of his own, he simply put some random advertisements on his webpage ''without actually signing any sort of advertisement contract'' — the ads didn't make him any money. There are several advertising programs that allow individual people to put ads on their personal pages and make money out of them; some of these programs are even specifically geared toward webcomic artists. Many web comics have a donation box where readers can donate money to the artist via PayPal or similar services.

It also took a while for Chris to come up with the idea of drawing on-camera, and even then, he hasn't demonstrated it too often.

== Schedule slip ==
Most webcomics have a set schedule: some update weekly, some many times a week, some daily. Some webcomics update whenever the hell the artists get inspired enough to draw a comic, and probably reserve a whole forum for people who whine about lack of updates. Most webcomic artists that update the comic three times a week consider that schedule very demanding, and webcomics that update daily usually generate revenue of some sort (ads, donations, print versions, merchandise, what-have-you), allowing the artists treat their comics like a full-day job. These are called self-sufficient webcomics. (Examples: ''Penny Arcade'', ''xkcd'', ''Questionable Content'')

Chris has thoroughly embraced the point of view that the comic shouldn't have a set schedule and inspiration doesn't have a deadline... while ''also'' promising us that the comic would be updated daily. On 14 [[November 2009]], Chris promised that the comic would be updated daily, and he managed to fulfill this promise for a while. By the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris was already placing author-substitutes in the story telling people to quit whining about the lack of updates. This is obviously not a question of punctuality, but [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]]; Chris would avoid a lot of drama if he just admitted that there's no set schedule whatsoever after all. If one ''does'' consider this a question of punctuality, it doesn't look too good.

Chris also tends to update in spurts in an attempt to make up for missed days; this can range anywhere from three to twenty pages at a time. Most professional webcartoonists have a buffer of guest comics so that they can avoid this sort of thing, but the thought of doing so has apparently never entered Chris's [[autistic]] mind.

== Freelance Artwork ==
As of 2014, Chris has started to try and sell [[commissions|individual pieces of artwork on a made-to-order basis]]. In the creative arts (particularly in the modern, web-enabled world) selling commissions is a common practice and can be beneficial to an artist not just financially but also in terms of exposure. For Chris, this was actually a fair smart mood: trolls had be wanting to get him to produce more art for years and he was offering a way of doing so that benefited himself. Freelance artists, however, also have to occasionally set their personal interests aside in the name of making a sale. So far Chris has sold a work depicting him making peace with [[Clyde Cash]]'s comic persona Cly and another depicting him defeated at the hands of [[Liquid Chris]]. If producing either caused Chris his legendary [[stress]], he has yet to divulge so. Either way it's a huge step compared to how he's acted in the past when [[Simonla Rosechu|drawing something he doesn't want to]].

So far there have only been a handful of takers on his offer, likely because Chris set a rather exorbitant baseline for commissions: $50.00 for black-and-white artwork, an additional $50.00 for color and another $100.00 ''to frame it'' for the client. Setting commission prices is one of the first challenges a turned-professional artist has to face: the artist has to gauge the demand for the product they produce, compare similarly skilled artists and their asking prices and generally weigh the value of the time put into producing against the profit made. Since Chris considers his art [[Chris and His Ego|professional quality]] and has functionally [[Monthly Tugboat|nothing else to do with his time]], asking $200.00 for a framed picture of everyone's favorite electric hedgehogs is really a good idea in his mind only.

== Sources ==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and copyright]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[An Important Update]]
* ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', Chris's not-very-creative-pitch-like PowerPoint presentation
* [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]], in which Chris likewise fails to sell a project idea
* [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' (game)]]

{{Chris and}}

Talk:Simonla Rosechu

2014-08-12T00:06:39Z

EDit209: /* Simonla the Linchpin Section */

Who the hell wrote that bit about Simonla being based on some anime character? They totally need to LURK MOAR. Anyways, this article needs the e-mail that Chris talked about developing Simonla (there's an e-mail correspondence with Evan, IIRC). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:37, 15 March 2009 (CET)

*Okay I admit it. That was me. I had read that somewhere. I'm so gosh durn lazy. I'm just like Chris.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]
**Oh, yeah, there were e-mails. I posted them proudly for all to see because he just told me "I reworked your character and put it in the new issue, it'll be out soon." Imagine my surprise to return to that thread after school and find Chris-chan did a little more than reworking. I will take screencaps of those e-mails and post them when it's not 2am [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 07:47, 27 April 2009 (CEST)
***Wait, shit, I actually have a lot more e-mails with him responding to me than I had initially remembered. Huh. I'll try and find a place for those too. [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 07:50, 27 April 2009 (CEST)
****On further notice, it seems the first e-mail he replied to about Simonla is gone. Why the fuck would I delete that. I do have some further correspondence with me asking why the fuck he did that shit and instead just telling me that the Livejournal account made in his name was a fake, saying "Why would I call Anne Boleyn deaf?" and ignoring the more pressing matters of "WHY IS SIMONCHU A GIRL NOW". I also have e-mails where he explains why the Blake rape scene was removed. [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 07:54, 27 April 2009 (CEST)
*****I'm curious as to why the hell Simonla was decided as the feminine of Simon? Was Simone or Simona too HIGH LEVEL a concept of that guy? The whole idea of Christian actually (mis)appropriating the character into his comics is hilarious though. Condolences on your future grandson REGINALD, however. [[User:Mall Conductor Bear|Mall Conductor Bear]] 09:05, 27 April 2009 (CEST)
******Oh god, you just made me realize that in CWCville I would be considered Simonla's father. GO SIMONLA! GO FORTH AND DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, SEE THE INVISIBLE! 01:33, 28 April 2009 (CEST)
*******Simonla Rosechu yelling "I AM SIMONLA, LEADER OF THE SONICHURREN GANG! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?"... DOTH NOT WANTETH. DDDX -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da Nuke]] 06:57, 13 May 2009 (CEST)

==(More) To do==
Clean up the articles as there's more pictures than there is to text (in other words, get a gallery going), and also incorporate shit from the new CWCipedia articles. Looks like Chris is acknowledging Evan's threats of suing Chris over Simonchu/Simonla. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:23, 9 September 2009 (CEST)
*Thanks for cleaning this up, I've been meaning to do it myself but I'm a lazy fuck who wants to play Street Fighter all day. I need to tidy up my own page too because it's a fucking sloppy wall of text as it stands [[User:Evang7|Evang7]] 04:35, 10 September 2009 (CEST)

==Where's Simonchu?==
Episode 20 is over. Simonchu is kinda... not there. Wonder what would happen if Chris was called out on it? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:15, 23 December 2009 (CET)
* If I had my guess, he'll probably brush it off and say that there was some sort of agreement not to put him in at the last minute or something. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 03:59, 23 December 2009 (CET)

==Quick to Replace==
[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/src/126650667058.png I am not surprised. I am not surprised at the least] --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 19:18, 18 February 2010 (UTC)

== Exploding Toilet Stolen? ==

*Was Simonla's death inspired by the Lethal Weapon movies or ripped out from one of them? I think the 1st one has the exploding toilet or the 2nd one. I saw a scene when I was younger though.--[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 05:48, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
**I'm not sure if Chis stole it from them, but it's in lethal weapon 3, yeah.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 07:20, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
***actually it was from lethal weapon 2. it being lifted directly from the film is supported by the position of the voltorb, directly behind the toilet. Presumably when one (especially a child) thinks of a toilet bomb they think of a cherry bomb inside the bowl, but in lethal weapon 2 its on the floor behind it.[[User:Crunchler|Crunchler]] 21:09, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
****I think he got the idea from a simpsons episode in which homer references lethal weapon, i doubt chris saw any of the lethal weapon movies.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 22:27, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*****In the simpsons ep homer says "before lethal weapon 2 i never thought there could be a bomb IN my toilet, now i check every time." if he had only seen it on the simpsons he would have put it in the toilet, not behind it.[[User:Crunchler|Crunchler]] 05:38, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
******Here's the video to the scene in question. And Crunchler is right, it did come from the 2nd film in the series: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3vgcB1jJn4 The Exploding Toilet scene (At the 7:37 mark) ] --[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 03:14, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*******I also added the info on the "Death" section.--[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 21:45, 23 March 2010 (UTC)
*I doubt he's ever seen the film itself, just knows of the scene. Like how many people know of the music in 2001 or the monoliths in it without every seeing the film. Plus, I doubt Chris would understand or like the film, it being pro Niggo and all.[[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:57, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

== An Egg ==
Issue 10, page 79, An Egg, looks like there will be more simonchu shennanigans, with sandy, "Evan Killed mommy" Magi-chan is badass once more . also simonchu is a terrorist aparently--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 07:04, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
*See "quick to replace" above. Of course, it was a contrived little bit of info to try and exploit a loophole in Evan's Wrath<sup>TM</sup>, but it really might just piss him off and get the site DMCAed again. -- [[User:Mikhail Faulken|Mikhail Faulken]] 07:23, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

== I noticed similarities between Simonichu and some other character. ==

Doesn't look much like Simon from Tengen-thingy to me, rather a lot more like Megalon from ''Godzilla vs Megalon.''

http://ftp.sunet.se/pub/pictures/tv.film/Godzilla/megalon.jpg compared to http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Simonchu_by_Evang_y.png

Is this even noteworthy or am I just trying too hard? (though I see where the guy gets this Beedrill from.) Debate. [[User:No.|No.]] 06:13, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Oh forget it. [[User:No.|No.]] 14:38, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351
** In [[Simonla Rosechu]] on 2011-09-20 22:40:01, 404 Not Found
** In [[Simonla Rosechu]] on 2011-09-28 10:05:53, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 03:05, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Dead link 2 ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/
** In [[Simonla Rosechu]] on 2011-09-20 22:40:01, 403 Forbidden
** In [[Simonla Rosechu]] on 2011-09-28 10:06:02, 403 Forbidden

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 03:05, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

==Simonla the Linchpin Section==
Is this based on anything or is it supposed to be highly speculative? I'm not saying that it should go away or anything, I'm just wondering if there are any smoking guns or at least circumstantial evidence to support this view. --[[User:Singel Minory Comic|Singel Minory Comic]] ([[User talk:Singel Minory Comic|talk]]) 06:36, 20 July 2014 (UTC)
* I'm kind of torn on this section in some ways. I feel like it has potential but without some kind of quote or email to link this line of thinking to Chris it seems way too speculative. Even then, it could really use a trim in terms of sheer bulk. There's a lot of ideas that could be more clearly said with less repetition and cruft. Would this really be a section about Simonla, or more about Chris's psychology?--[[User:EDit209|EDit209]] ([[User talk:EDit209|talk]]) 00:06, 12 August 2014 (UTC)

Joshua Martinez

2014-08-10T19:18:57Z

EDit209:

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|Josh can't stand him, but Chris is always trying to hang out with him. I think Josh is the ONE man his age that he can stand being around.|[[PodMonkey]]}}

[[Image:Joshohshi.jpg|thumb|Josh being the badass Chris thinks he is]]
[[Image:JoshMartinez.jpg|thumb|A more recent photo of Virginia's answer to Antonio Banderas]]
[[Image:Martinezstrong.jpg|thumb|Josh is [[I AM STRONG|STRONG]]]]

'''Joshua Martinez''' carpooled with [[Christian Weston Chandler]] when they attended [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy as children. Joshua's attendance was required due to his thick [[Spanish]] accent.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

Years later, apparently, after Chris finished high school and returned to [[Ruckersville]], he and Joshua remained friends. The two took to hanging out after school in Harrisonburg, a town several miles northwest of [[Charlottesville]], where they would eat at a restaurant called [[Country Cookin]] and loiter around an abandoned airplane. While Josh has moved on, Chris never really got over his habit of [[Attraction location|hanging around and making a nuisance of himself.]]

==Lori Lopez==
{{main|Lori Lopez}}

Joshua was the first troll to masquerade as a [[boyfriend-free girl]] in order to fuck with Chris. In the fall of [[2007]], he pretended to hook Chris up with a girl named [[Lori Lopez]], chatting with Chris as her and sending him pictures. These images were actually pictures of the pop star [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. The truly hilarious part of this is that Joshua closed communication as her by confiding to Chris that "she" actually loved Josh. Eventually Chris discovered that he was trolled, and (as he does about every humiliation inflicted upon him) wrote about it in his comic.

==Chris counterattacks==
After Chris discovered he had become a lolcow, he tried diverting the attention from himself to Joshua with gems like the following edit to his [[ED]] page. Since Chris was still of the belief that trolls went after him [[Chris and his ego|because he was so amazing and talented]] at the time, the reasoning he gives for the unknowable hordes of the Internet to descend upon Josh amount to a weird ramble about how successful in life and sex Josh is.
{{clear}}
{{quote|--- Look, pal, if you REALLY WANT to TAKE DOWN someone who HAS a REPUTATION, consider one JOSHUA MARTINEZ.

Ladies come a runnin' from at least as far as New York City to his house in [[China|Dyke]], VA; not just any ladies, but STARS like Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson and plenty other [[women's rights|whores]]. He also has been Piggy-Backing on the Stardom of Vanessa Hudgens; singing with her in her Latino Albums, and starring with her in various HBO movies, and even worse, [[Transformers|TRANSFORMERS]] 2. He has her and some other gal named Brittany for BOTH HIS SIMULTANEOUS GIRLFRIENDS; DUAL Marriage in the works here.

He's a more LUCKY S.O.B. than I can ever surmount to.

RUIN HIS REPUTATION.

Joshua Martinez.

PS YOU DID NOT HEAR THIS WHOLE THING FROM ME.|Chris thanking Josh for saving him $22.49 for a [[Nintendo]] Wii<ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>}}

==Vanessa Hudgens==
[[Image:Joshua deceived me.jpg|thumb|Oh noes!]]

{{main|Vanessa Saga}}

In early [[2009]], Josh served as a sort of Eastern Front for the trolling war on Chris, as he impersonated Vanessa Hudgens.

The trolling culminated in Josh attempting to sell a special [[PSP]] to Chris intended for "Vanessa." He was foiled when trolls suspected that Josh was doing so for personal gain, and not simply for the [[lulz]]. Josh isn't exactly too bright either — see the [[Vanessa Saga]] chats for ample evidence of his limited imagination and clumsy attempts to manipulate Chris — and Chris's dalliances with Vanessa were also interfering with the success of [[Ivy]]. Josh's involvement ended and Chris canceled the check for the PSP according to Ivy's instructions, yet Chris refused to return it because "Vanessa would be upset." It was a knock-down, drag-out case of retard vs. retard.

Chris's parents are furious at Josh, and actually did go to the police in an attempt to bring him in for conning Chris out of his cash. However, during the exact same visit Bob and Barb found out that Chris was stealing money from them, prompting Bob to deny police assistance for fear that Chris could be implicated.

Josh has since stopped talking to Chris.

==Sources==
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{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Martinez, Joshua}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Vanessa Saga]]