CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:EddySteel

2017-06-10T07:51:11Z

EddySteel:

Mm... Yeah.
{{LiquidChris}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
{{ClydeCash}}

Sonichu 6

2012-11-24T12:03:57Z

EddySteel: 12.5 cartoon/real-life blending

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #6
| cover = Sonichu Issue 6.jpg
| coverdate = 4 July 2006
| finishedcomic = 21 February 2007
| pagecount = 49
| episodes = 12.5, 14
| previous = [[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]]
| next = [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #6''' is the seventh issue of [[Christian]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic book series. By this point, Chris seems to have realized that dividing his comics into episodes is pointless if the episodes all run seamlessly together, so the storyline of CWCville's battle with PVCC is confined to a single, lengthy, Episode 14.

However, shortly before beginning work on this issue, Chris's beloved dog [[Patti]] was put to sleep on 27 June [[2006]]. Distraught by these events, Chris sought to make the lead story in this issue a tribute to Patti that would create a new life for her as a regular character in [[CWCville]]. Since [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] ended on a cliffhanger with Episode 13, "One Lucky Dog" is set before that story, and labeled as Episode 12.5. The blend between cartoon and real-life is perhaps one of the most interesting things that Chris has done with the comic and sadly episode 12.5 is the only episode to feature this.

Chris again let this issue languish for months before finally completing it several days before his twenty-fifth birthday. He was apparently motivated to finish so that he could include the gratuitous shill for his impending [[DVD]].

==Episode 12.5: "One Lucky Dog"==
{{-}}
{{Resources
| title =One Lucky Dog
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_6/Page_1 ''Episode 12.5''
| videobook =Sonichu_6_Official_Videobook#Episode_12.5{{!}}''Episode 12.5''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic7P1.htm ''Episode 12.5''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHWG-1us01o&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=24 ''Episode 12.5''
}}
===Overview===
[[Image:Patti_and_moon.jpg|thumb|FUN FACT: on 26 June 2006, the moon wasn't full; in fact, it was practically a new moon.]]

While it sticks to most of the usual ''Sonichu'' formulas, ''Sonichu'' #6 does distinguish itself from its predecessors, mostly in Episode 12.5.

Chris had inserted photographs of himself into cartoon backgrounds before, most notably in the original [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|jewel case art]] for which he created the Sonichu character. In ''Sonichu'' #6, Chris broadens his experiments with a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fumetti Fumetti] style, blending cartoon characters with photographs of himself and his home. This style returns again in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], with some differences. In ''Sonichu'' #6, the [[Patti-Chan]] character is a cartoon existing in the 'real world,' and Chris becomes a cartoon when he enters CWCville. In ''Sonichu'' #10, a 'real world' CWC exists in the cartoon CWCville.

Despite the extensive use of photography in the first half of the story, no photographer is credited. Chris is usually quick to credit people who 'assist' in the production of a ''Sonichu'' episode, because it makes him look like he has friends, so the implication here is that he took the photos himself.

''Sonichu'' #6 is also a departure in emotional depth, compared to previous issues. While the others are generally limited to retarded, one-dimensional characters and narcissistic monologues, in ''Sonichu'' #6 Chris works through a real and empathetic event: the death of his dog. Of course, he works through it in a retarded and narcissistic manner, but it's still more emotionally tangible than anything else he has done.

The final page of the episode is a formal dedication to Patti, with a memorial photograph, birth, and death dates. This is interesting, because it is generally difficult to determine just how grounded in reality Chris's mind is. In some cases, such as the [[BILLY MAYS]] coup, Chris doesn't respect any line between reality and the CWCville universe: there IS a Mayor of CWCville, and the Mayor IS Chris. This page, on the other hand, is a concrete example of Chris separating reality from fiction.

This contrasts sharply with how he memorialized the deaths of the women [[Sarah Jackson|who]] [[Pandahalo|loved]] [[Ivy|him]], where he callously recreated their horrific deaths in comic format as a means of removing them from his comic.

Since [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] ended on a cliffhanger, this story is set between Episodes 12 and 13 of that issue.

===Synopsis===
Chris's dog, Patti, is old and suffering from an "itchy" rump. She looks up at the full [[Moon]] and wishes for the ability to walk and talk like Chris, that she might thank him for his years of kindness. After baying at the Moon, Patti eats some grass in the backyard, unknowingly catching a [[Wikipedia:Four-leaf clover|four-leaf clover]] in her teeth. When she lies down and sleeps, the magic power of moonbeams does some sort of magic shit to her.

The following day, Chris emerges from his house to feed Patti, only to discover her transformed into an anthropomorphic dog-creature. When Patti speaks aloud for the first time, both she and Chris are shocked. Patti realizes her wish came true, although neither she nor Chris knows how this has happened, and nobody asks any questions.

After a snack and a bath, Chris gives Patti a clover medallion, and a green sash to cover her dog junk. Together, they sit on a bench swing outside, and Patti thanks Chris for everything. Rejuvenated by her transformation, Patti expresses a desire to roam the world beyond her pen, but doesn't know where to go. After considering the matter for a moment, Chris decides to take her to [[CWCville]], where she can wander the city without frightening the populace. Unlike [[Ruckersville]], CWCville's citizens are used to monstrous animal-men wandering their city and living off of welfare.

To get to CWCville, Chris leads Patti into his house (apparently for the first time), and takes her to his bedroom. Using his [[Nintendo]] DS, Chris opens a portal that leads into his mayoral office in [[CWCville Mall]]. Patti wonders how Chris can run CWCville from his home in Ruckersville, but Chris explains that most of the work is handled by his secretary [[Allison Amber]], who coordinates with Chris using a satellite link-up to his DS.

Chris provides Patti with a scepter and bracelets, each imbued with a [[Chris and his ego|portion of his own power]], to defend herself from CWCville's enemies. He also gives her a [[monthly tugboat|"Golden CWCville Card"]] — a debit card of sorts — and a cell phone in case of emergencies. After an emotional embrace, Patti wanders off on her own.

===Advertisement===
Are you ready to ROCK? An ad for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]].

==Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"==
{{Resources
| title =Evil is Afoot!
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_6/Page_15 ''Episode 14''
| videobook =Sonichu_6_Official_Videobook#Episode_14{{!}}''Episode 14''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic7P8.htm ''Episode 14''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZUKaJu-QuA&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=25 ''Ep. 14 Part 1''
| audiobook2 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZbWQYfk150&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=26 ''Ep. 14 Part 2''
}}
===Overview===
[[Image:Sonichu-6 notsow.jpg|thumb|"Notsow"]]
In the original artwork, Chris managed to misspell his backwards-named nemesis's middle name. After what must have been nearly 9,000 hours in MS Paint, "Notsow" was hamfistedly altered to "Notsew." Then the page was even more hamfistedly omitted from the [[CWCipedia]], probably because it is so sexually charged that it might turn Chris into a [[homo]] if he even glances at it. Either that, or he's retarded and didn't check to see that he double-posted page 31.

===Synopsis===
Continuing from Episode 13's cliffhanger, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] gloats over her imprisonment of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] in the dark mirror. [[Patti-Chan]] and [[Darkbind Sonichu]] arrive to steal the Mirror away from Walsh. Distracted, Walsh is easily defeated by [[Sailor Megtune]], and is forced to retreat.

The heroes return to Christian's mayoral office, where Christian and Magi-Chan work on ways to retrieve Crystal from the mirror. While they wait for [[da update]], the others discuss various subjects of no particular relevance.

Magi-Chan announces that the only hope to save Crystal are the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], of which they only currently possess one. However, the attractive properties of the balls cause Magi-Chan to realize that [[Darkbind]] is [[homos|hiding two more balls]], and that he also needs all seven to break a sleeping curse on [[Zelina Rosechu]].

Conveniently enough, a fourth Ball is revealed when [[Black Sonichu]] and a mysterious green Sonichu commit a daring daylight robbery of the Kay Jewelers store in the CWCville Mall. Somehow, the villains have learned of the Sonichu Ball's presence there, and have stolen it as part of a larger scheme of world domination.

Chris teleports to the scene with Magi-Chan and Sonichu, but the combined power of the evil Sonichus is too great. The green Sonichu envelops Chris in a dark dimension, and explains that he is [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog form of [[Naitsirhc]] Giovanni. When Chris was briefly submerged in the Dark Mirror Hole, this caused a Dark Sonichu Medallion to be created, awakening sleeping evil powers within Naitsirhc, such as the ability to transform into Reldnahc Ha-Taque. Now realized as the evil, opposite counterpart to Chris, he has dubbed himself as [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

When Reldnahc reverts to human form, we see he has been changed into a duplicate of Chris, with torn blue jeans, and a green harness, reflecting his homoerotic tendencies. Chris is naturally horrified by his partial nudity.

Outside the Dark Dimension, Magi-Chan and Sonichu demand an explanation from Black Sonichu, who explains that Naitsirhc has become far more evil and ruthless since his transformation. He has completely abandoned his adoptive father [[Giovanni]], and while Black Sonichu has followed him out of loyalty, Naitsirhc has insulted him constantly in return, even putting [[Semen|whipped cream]] in his rocket shoes.

Suddenly everybody's pal, Black Sonichu asks his former enemies about Bubbles, having randomly developed an infatuation with her.

Christian and Reldnahc, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and Reldnahc Ha-Taque, begin a pitched battle, racing across [[CWCville]] at high speeds, proving to be evenly matched. Christian, as ever, attempts to fight dirty, but his kick to Reldnahc's groin is met only by Reldnahc's powerful cup.

Reldnahc finally gains the upper hand, blasting Chris into the gym of [[Manchester High School]], incapacitating him. But before Reldnahc can deliver the final blow using his Sonichu Ball, a basketball strikes Reldnahc, causing his head to hit the bleaches, knocking him out. Christian awakes to learn that [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] saved him from certain doom, and that Reldnahc is in a coma.

Bionic gives Chris the Sonichu Ball Reldnahc had stolen, and asks him to provide him with a fictional girlfriend, just as Chris created Rosechu to be Sonichu's personal semen receptacle. Too lazy to do even that, Chris suggests Bionic hook up with one of Megan's characters.

Christian then launches into an advertisement for his homemade DVD "[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]]". He describes every single feature on the disc, despite the fact that he has no intention of making it available outside of his own circle of acquaintances.

Ten weeks later (presumably after several of the events in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]), Reldnahc awakens in the hospital, with a white-hot hatred for Bionic...

===CWC's Art Gallery!===
"Bionic Over Autism", a drawing Chris shat out on February 24, 1999.

===Back Cover Ad===
''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' gets a final run. It'll be replaced by an ad for ''CWC's [[Christian_Weston_Chandler%27s_Adult_Chronicles|Adult Chronicles]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]''.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Issue 6
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Sonichu Issue 6.jpg|Cover
File:SchuComic7Page01.jpg
File:SchuComic7Page02.jpg
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File:SchuComic7Page46.jpg
File:SchuComic7Page47.jpg
File:SchuComic7Page48.jpg
Image:Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg|Back Cover
</gallery>}}</center>

==See Also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[[Patti-Chan]]
*[[Reldnahc]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

User talk:Eamoo

2012-11-06T16:50:27Z

EddySteel: /* Please, */

Welcome to the CWCki!-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:58, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
*Great work on the Christory template! [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:33, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

== ''Tempest'' quote ==

Where was it, and what is the actual Shakespeare quote for comparison? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 22:41, 14 August 2010 (PDT)

I've added it to the page. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 05:24, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== Are you the writer of CWCville 1984? ==

Because if you're not, I don't think the original author would appreciate the corrections, even if they are legitimate grammar/usage fixes. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 14:54, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

== Wtf is this? ==

'' Release date for Pokémon Black and White in Japan.'' Irrelevant shit shouldn't be in the Cwchronology. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]]

== You deserve an award ==

For your diligent wikification and editing. Now who gives out these things? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== TRUE and HONEST ==

Why are you unilaterally de-capitalizing all instances of this? It's already an established convention. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 20:47, 6 October 2010 (PDT)

Your grammar-nazi-ing is going a bit too far, I say. You're starting to edit written quotes, when the policy is that they remain as Chris wrote them, spelling/grammar errors and all! --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 12:57, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
*Indeeed. Keep this up and I'm afraid I'll have to ban you for fucking up quotes and established conventions.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:54, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
:*That is, I'm afraid I'll have to ban you, Eamoo, not SeventhBase.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:54, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
::I'd like to see TRUE and HONEST restored to their former glory. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:25, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
IT IS UNDONE [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 19:21, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

</choose><choose><option weight=95></option><option weight=5>XXXXXXXXXXXXXX </option>

== I'm Snuffleupagus! ==

''[walks into Eamoo's bedroom and slobbers on him while flailing trunk about and making gargling noises]'' AAARRRGGGHHH! AAARRRGGGHHH! AAARRRGGGHHH! AAARRRGGGHHH! --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 06:39, 3 February 2011 (PST)
:Oh look, it's this shit again. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 06:41, 3 February 2011 (PST)
That's right, Freecell! I will squeeze your life out of you with my snuffle! --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 06:52, 3 February 2011 (PST)

== Just a message to say ==
Thanks for the suggestion, but in future send page title suggestions to Champ, not me. I wrote the page, but he's still the boss around here.

Also Snuffleupagus is a faggot. I know it's obvious, but seeing his message on your page, I thought it beared repeating. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 07:11, 27 May 2011 (PDT)

== Abuse of {{tl|rename}} ==

So, standard convention is to name video articles after the true and honest video name Chris gave it on YouTube. Exceptions to this are when several videos can be grouped up in to one article (like with [[Calling Out]]) or when two videos have the exact same name (rarely happens with numbered video titles, as they're sequential). It would be appreciated if you could stop adding the rename tag to so many video articles. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 04:32, 8 August 2011 (PDT)

But lots of video article are renames - [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]], [[Greene County Conspiracy]], [[Cwcsicle]], [[War Paint Video]]. just think descriptive names are better. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 08:21, 8 August 2011 (PDT)
:Like I said, we have exceptions - but the policy is to name the articles as per Chris's video name. Usual exceptions include instances of grouping - as per my example above & [[Cwcsicle]], when a video has a long name ([[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]), or when videos have names that are the same or very similar ([[War Paint Video]]). [[Greene County Conspiracy]] actually breaks policy for some reason - but I am not one to judge the actual significance of that video - so it may fall under that reason. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 09:15, 8 August 2011 (PDT)

Fair enough. Maybe the greene county page should be changed back, and I think [[51 50]] should go under that title. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 10:32, 8 August 2011 (PDT)

== Barbara Chandler and Snorlax pix ==

Did Chris really do the [[:File:Barb.PNG|Snorlax pic]] you added to the [[Barbara Chandler#Cole and his possible fathers|Barbara Chandler]] page? If so, I'll change the categorisation of the image file and the caption on that page should probably be changed as well. – [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] ([[User_talk:BrianBash|talk]]|[[Special:Contributions/BrianBash|cont]]) 12:13, 26 August 2011 (PDT)

Yes, it's in issue 4. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 12:15, 26 August 2011 (PDT)
==sb==
<choose><option weight=1>xxxxxx</option><option weight=1>yyyyyy </option><option weight=1>zzzzz</option><option weight=1>qqqqqqqq</option></choose>

<choose><option weight=1>xxxxxx</option><option weight=1>yyyyyy </option><option weight=1>zzzzz</option><option weight=1>qqqqqqqq</option></choose>

<choose><option weight=1>xxxxxx</option><option weight=1>yyyyyy </option><option weight=1>zzzzz</option><option weight=1>qqqqqqqq</option></choose>

<choose><option weight=1>xxxxxx</option><option weight=1>yyyyyy </option><option weight=1>zzzzz</option><option weight=1>qqqqqqqq</option></choose>

== You're killing me, man ==

Dude, seriously, I saw what you did to the Captain's Log template. Stardates, seriously? Most people are going to be confused as hell seeing that sort of thing and I've never seen a template that is not helpful at all. Maybe you were trying to make it more concise but in the process you only made it more confusing to you. I've dabbled in Star Trek and it still took me a few seconds to figure out what the hell was going on. Anyways, I reverted your edits for that reason. In the future, remember that usability comes before cleverness or making a joke. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:28, 27 October 2011 (PDT)

== 2012 month articles ==

Dude, I've noticed you've made articles up to April of this year and if Chris was producing more content, I'd think this would reasonable. However, I really think that for 2012, assuming nothing major happens or Chris makes a miraculous return to the Internet, that perhaps we could do the months on a quarterly basis (like, January - March would be one article, April- June, etc.) because we're gonna have month articles that'll only have one or two things for a given month. I'll leave it as it is now, but just something to keep in mind before you make new articles --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:11, 16 January 2012 (PST)

==jh==
11.9.08 [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]
13.9.08 [[Christian's Update 13 September 2008]]
13.10.08 [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008]]
15.10.08 [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
16.10.08 [[IRC (16 October 2008)]]
21.10.08 [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]
24.10.08 [[IRC (24 October 2008)]]
27.10.08 [[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]
28.12.08 [[IRC (28 December 2008)]]
2.1.09 [[Takashi Tezuka]]
4.2.09 [[Mumble 2]]
6.9.09 [[Sign Destruction Video]]
17.12.09 [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]

== Please, ==

The plural of Pony is Ponies, please stop editing 'Ponys' into articles.[[User:EddySteel|EddySteel]] 08:50, 6 November 2012 (PST)

User talk:Eamoo

2012-11-06T16:48:50Z

EddySteel: /* Please, */ new section

Mumble 4

2012-11-06T16:33:38Z

EddySteel: The plural of Pony is Ponies. Eamoo (talk)

The fourth of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]] on 6 [[February 2009]].

Length: '''48:34'''
==Summary==

* Chris is uploading the [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|second gay video]].
* Chris and [[Clyde]] play tic-tac-toe.
* Chris explains why he didn't go to [[Miyamoto]].
* Clyde asks why Chris has spent over $1000 on [[PSN]]. Chris tries to label $1000 as an obvious exaggeration, a [[lie]] that Clyde calls him out on. Chris guesses that he's spent $10000 on games over the past 9 years, but claims to be recovering from his spending problem.
* [[Julie]] says she'd stay with Chris even if he becomes homeless. Chris, on the other hand, seems content to leech off of his family.
* Clyde asks Chris to name 5 bills associated with the house. Chris's can't.
* "If anything" says Chris "I'm overqualified [...] for every type of job available."
* Clyde describes the wild woman he loved, who killed herself.

18:30

* Clyde says Chris doesn't know what love is.
* Chris gets emotional on the subject that [[PandaHalo]] (Sarah) got with Clyde, but less so when Clyde says she might be dead.
* Chris saw the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Just Friends|Just Friends]]''. "Romantic comedies build hope for TRUE romances." Memories build toward love. Without such honest feelings, it's as meaningless as sex with a prostitute.

25:30

* Chris denies just wanting [[sex]].
* In a woman, Chris looks for a caring personality, strong emotions, a strong will, all-around personality. But definitely not [[niggos|black]]. But he's not racist. "I would care about a black woman as a friend, honestly. But, you know, I would not want it beyond just friendship."

28:10

*Chris does a retarded imitation of a Jamaican racist. He also likens himself to Archie Bunker (from ''All in the Family''), who was intended to be reprehensible bigot.
*The [[Donald Duck impersonation]] scares the shit out of Clyde.

31:20

* Chris justifies giving advice with the quote: "Those who are unable to, teach."
* Chris burps.
* Chris tells Clyde he wants to apologize to [[Vivian]] for not being receptive to her advice.
* The [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|second gay video]] is up.

39:00

* Clyde tells Chris to get rid of his material possessions for Julie. Chris says it'd take him more than 8 hours.
* Chris has read [[R.L.Stine|R.L. Stine]] books, "the one with George and... Lenny?", the Bible, ''The Giver'', Pamela Anderson's ''Star'', ???, another one on the tip of his tongue, and he's reading [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian's book]].
* Clyde gives Chris 3 days to sell or throw away his shit. (The result is [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009]].)

48:00

* The other [[trolls]] jizz all over Clyde.

=== Transcript ===

 '''BlueSpike:''' Alright, so anyway. (?)
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I redid the video. I did not use the word “[[gaybian]]”. I did not use it.
 '''Clyde:''' [interrupts] Let's watch and find out okay?
 '''Chris:''' Well, it's gonna be 'bout a half-hour to an hour
 '''Clyde:''' Let's play a little game. It's called [[Wikipedia:Tic-tac-toe|Tic-tac-toe]]. You know, with the circles and the X's. Okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Clyde:''' I call the middle square. What square do you call?
 '''Chris:''' Mmmm. Upper Left.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, then I call the one right below it.
 '''Chris:''' I call... middle right.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, I'm just messing with you. Let's not play this game. Chris, I have to ask you one- one very important question.
 '''Chris:''' Shoot.
 '''Clyde:''' Ah man, my memory's going. Why... why do you drop women on the...just you know, on the tip of the hat? I mean, you and whatshername, [[PandaHalo|Sarah... Cassandra Mackenzie]]. I-I mean God, You said yourself you were like, really close for months and months.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Clyde:''' And you drop her on the, just drop it right there and you didn't go to [[Nintendo]]. You didn't do anything. Why didn't you do a thing?
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm...Uh... hmm...Well, because I felt uncertain of a lot of details. Like I wasn't totally sure I was talking to the real Mr. MAIyamoto. And plus I didn't have my family's support. And uh I really did not have the money to make the trip.
 '''Clyde:''' You just blew your chance, Chris. You know- you know that whatever you say will be taken as crazy talk but you know I'm already working with uh, [[Reggie]] right? It's not going to happen for quite a few months in fact. But be prepared, be prepared.
 '''Chris:''' For what?
 '''Clyde:''' You know, Rabbichoso. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I bet it'll go straight to $9.99 bin.
 '''Clyde:''' [laughs] Of course, because it's being priced at $9.99. It's not a full-priced game. You know that. You know, it's going to be on like PlayStation Network. Well it's probably not. It's probably just gonna be on Wii Ware. Still good, it'll be just like [[Wikipedia:Cave Story|''Cave Story'']]. You ever play ''Cave Story''?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Clyde:''' Do you play any good games? I mean, Christ. You spent over $1,000 on the PlayStation Network...why would you spend so much [[money]]?
 '''Chris:''' I play a lot of good [[games]].
 '''Clyde:''' N-never mind about the good games part, that's irrelevant bullshit. Why would you spend over $1,000 on the PlayStation network?
 '''Chris:''' How do you know I spent over $1,000 on the PlayStation Network? Because that could be an obvious exaggeration right there.
 '''Clyde:''' It's not an obvious exaggeration.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I have your records detailing your intimate history from March [[2007|'07]] to [[January 2009|January '09]] of every single purchase you ever made. I calculated it. It's over $1,000.
 '''Chris:''' You don't have-You don't even have to track the history you could just go to my download list and then figure out which ones are demos-
 '''Clyde:''' Exactly, it's been over $1,000 Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Alright fine, woopty freakin' doo, $1,000. But it's only a little bit at a time over a long period of time.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, you don't know anything about saving money. How much have you spent on games?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... well I spend a lot.
 '''Clyde:''' How much do you think you spent over the last nine years?
 '''Chris:''' Nine... well, yup. Mmmm...I'd say estimate, uh, taking a rough guess here. Fine, $10,000. I'm just taking a guess.
 '''Clyde:''' Ugh, Christ, man. If you can't afford the money then you can't afford to save anything for your future; for [[Daughter|your future children]]; for [[Lovely Weather|your future wife]]. You don't think about the future do you? You just think about now; you just think about what you want now; what you want-
 '''Chris:''' Fine well I'm not- well, I'll admit I'm not- I wasn't very good at money, I was compulsive on spending.
 '''Clyde:''' You still are.
 '''Chris:''' I'm recovering. Hey at least I'm not that far gone to admit it that I have a problem with spending and I admit the problem, that's the first step to recovery.
 '''Clyde:''' That's far from the first step, you have to do something.
 '''Chris:''' I am, I'm taking initiative to save.
 '''Clyde:''' And how much have you saved?
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, well I have bills to- I have credit card bills to pay!
 '''Clyde:''' For the past five years, I've been working on a little egg to save money. I spent- I've dipped into it a bit. This is- ain't, from my parents inheritance and some miles I can call him (?). I got 15,000 saved Chris, for the past five years Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Well good for you, I praise you for that.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm saying you can't even save $100. What makes you think you can support a family?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' [[Julie]], why would you want to be with this man? He can't support a family, he can't support you!
 '''Julie:''' Because I love him.
 '''Chris:''' Not right away- but, but give me time.
 '''Julie:''' Because I truly love him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. The power of love and God- and God- and power of prayer and God's help and enough time, it can work.
 '''Clyde:''' And what will you do if you're homeless? What will you do?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, homeless. That diff- that's a tough one. Well, there's a thing called family. I have good people in my family.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, are you going to take this? You're going to accept living without a home? Really?
 '''Julie:''' If it's with Chris, yes.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh my god, you two are going to die faster than I can say autistic. Christ! You- I can't believe it. You would accept being homeless.
 '''Julie:''' Yes, I would.
 '''Clyde:''' Enjoy your death, enjoy your death.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, you don't know what-
 '''Julie:''' Chris will never be homeless.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah and besides- besides Clyde, you don't know- you don't know what kind of lifestyle Julie had to gre-grew up with. I mean she came from a poor country.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Interrupts]'' And this is what you're going to treat her to, is the same-the same old life she had before. That's very gentlemen-like Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Now I'm gonna tr- I'm gonna do my best to try to give her a mor- a much more comfortable life, I'll do my best.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, when your parents die, what's gonna happen to your house, what's going to happen?
 '''Chris:''' You're asking me when my parents die, what's going to happen to my house?
 '''Clyde:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' [[Slow in the mind|Well, I assume the house is still gonna be on the land it was built upon.]]
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, so it's not yours anymore, interesting. Interesting.
 '''Chris:''' Well actually they're leaving it to me. So there.
 '''Clyde:''' So you've got a house, that's decent. Tell me, name five bills associated with, you know, maintaining the house. Can you even name five?
 '''Chris:''' Five bills associated with maintaining the house. Alright, there's the electricity, the water...abuhbuhbuhbuhbuh ''[muttering]''... food, clothing-
 '''Clyde:''' Food and clothing are not part of the house. That's part of the, you know, daily life. I'm talking about the actual house.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' Okay, there's, uh, hardware like-
 '''Clyde:''' What hardware? For what?
 '''Chris:''' Like for roofing. For one thing
 '''Clyde:''' Do your parents even own the house?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, they own the house.
 '''Clyde:''' Do they have a mortgage on it? What, anything?
 '''Chris:''' They do not have a mortgage on it.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, so they own the house. Legally. Interesting. Well, you got one thing going for you, you at least have a house. But I don't know, man if you can actually survive in it.
 '''Chris:''' Tsk-tsk. You are so quick to under- to undermine a person. And underestimate them.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm not being quick to undermine a person. I'm thinking of what a family man should do, okay?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sudden awful ''[[Family Guy]]'' impersonation]'' Hey listen, Peter Griffin, he's a family guy and he's retarded and yet look at his life! ''[Voice deepens into what is probably a horrible [[Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] impersonation]'' Homer Simpson D'oh!
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Disbelieving]'' That's a cartoon. That's not real life. Not-not even the closest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but it's based on the real life associated with the people who created them.
 '''Clyde:''' No it's not! You think Matt Groening's life is like Homer's life? Of course not!
 '''Chris:''' ''[More awful Homer Simpson impersonation]'' Well I don't know if it's close my life, but I feel like it's close enough to be with my own life! And nobody better lay a finger on my son's [[Wikipedia:Butterfinger|Butterfinger]]! D'oh!
 '''Clyde:''' What?! [softly] Oh-Chri- So are you saying that ''The Simpsons'' is exactly like real life?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not saying that necessarily, but if they can survive it in their own way, then I feel I can survive it in my own way- at my own pace. And that uh- with the power of prayer, and God by my side, and my sw- and my [[sweetheart]], things will work out.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you something. Things don't magically “work out.” Things don't work that way. The real world does not work that way.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to do the heavy work, and all the work associated with all that.
 '''Clyde:''' Now now, I know you said you're going to be a house husband? Right?
 '''Chris:''' That or I can go out and get a job.
 '''Clyde:''' And what kind of job can you get? What do you qualify for?
 '''Chris:''' If anything I'm overqualified!
 '''Clyde:''' For what?!
 '''Chris:''' Every- every type of job available!
 '''Clyde:''' You think you can be the CEO of a company?
 '''Chris:''' Hey, put me behind a desk and tell me what to do and I'll do it!
 '''Clyde:''' The thing is a CEO ''tells'' people what to do. If you need something be told then you are not qualified to do that job.
 '''Chris:''' I don't have to be- hey. I just need- hey if I am the one that needs to be telling everybody what to do then I have to find out what the company is about, and all things associated with the company, or whatever I'm the CEO of, and then I will give real thought, sound decisions and direction.
 '''Clyde:''' What kind of job can you get within your degrees? What will your degrees get you?
 '''Chris:''' If anything, like a job [[Bob|my father]] had working at [[Wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]]. Like for example he designed the controls for the plastic molding machines, so, without him, you would not have the plastic for your keyboard.
 '''Clyde:''' Okay, so you think you can design some... something I don't know whatever you just said.
 '''Chris:''' Hey without him you would not even have anything as simple as a plastic-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Interrupts]'' I'm talking about you, I'm not talking about your dad. I'm talking about you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm talking about ''you''. What can you do?
 '''Chris:''' I can do anything I am capable of, if I set my mind to
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Exasperated]'' I am asking you what you are capable of!
 '''Chris:''' I'm capable of a lot of things!
 '''Clyde:''' I'm telling you to be specific!
 '''Chris:''' I'm creative.
 '''Clyde:''' God. You said you had that CADD degree, and you- and I asked you to send that, I want to see what you-
 '''Chris:''' It takes- It takes creativity to create such things like I did in the [[CADD]] classes.
 '''Clyde:''' Your CADD degree, right? You had [[CWCville Mall|that mall]]? I want to see this mall, I want to see if you're actually qualified. I want to see if you're actually qualified to get a job.
 '''Chris:''' You want to see it, huh? Alright, give me a moment, I'll write the email for ya.
 '''Clyde:''' You know my email. [[Gregg Mays]] with the G's.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I'm gonna send it to you from my Gmail address because it's a big file.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright. If it's a big file it's probably better, isn't it?
 '''Chris:''' Well that depends on your perception.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughs]'' Never mind. I'd love to see this though. Looking forwards to it.
 ''[Intermittent background noise]''
 '''Chris:''' On its way. Right now.
 '''Clyde:''' Good. I'm looking forwards to seeing it. I wanna see.
 '''Julie:''' Hey Chris.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, you wanna see something?
 '''Julie:''' No, not really.
 '''Clyde:''' This is the man that's also gonna be your future husband. I'm just saying. You always have a chance to back out now.
 '''Julie:''' I would never. I would never.
 '''Clyde:''' Come on Julie, you don't want to do this. You don't want to do this. I beg of you. You don't want to be with this man. You don't.
 '''Chris:''' Julie, I care about you. I care about you very much.
 '''Julie:''' Chris is right. I do want to be with him.
 '''Clyde:''' You can give as much love. You can say all those empty “I love yous” over and over. Let me tell you something.
 '''Chris:''' When it comes from the heart, they are not empty. And every time I say I love you I have my heart behind me.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughs]'' Every time you say “I love you”! You say “I love you” to every woman that walks down the street! [mockingly] You said that to [[Megan]], you said that to [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], you say that to all those people!
 '''Chris:''' I- we- Because I was very close to each of those women! And I always meant it from my heart!
 '''Clyde:''' Whoa, you're going out with multiple women at once? That's a little- ehh, you know, you're treading some dangerous ground there.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, I can't help it if they all moved on with their lives. They didn't- couldn't stick around. That doesn't mean I'm not- I'm gonna hold it against them. I still care about them individually. I mean that, from my heart. Just like I care about Julie right now. Very much.
 '''Clyde:''' You don't know what love is, do you Chris?
 '''Chris:''' I know that love takes a lot of hard work and deep emotions. Obviously a lot more than you are capable of feeling, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you about the girl I loved.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Clyde:''' She was a wild one. She did shit that most women never do. She was a wild one. Did sports, dropped out of school, did drugs. She killed herself. Still don't get over that.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry to hear that.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you something. Tell you something. You still don't know what love is. You move on from woman to woman. If one is out of your reach, you just move on to the next one. You ditched the prospect of [[Sarah Hammer]] just for Megan and ''[Microphone cuts out]''.
 '''Chris:''' I- did not ditch her. I mean I tell ya. I was so hurting in my heart and my soul that I had to lose her to you. Really hurt me. It wasn't an immediate decision for me to move on. I had to make myself emotionally stable. ''[Starts stammering]'' And build up the- and build up so much in my head sorting all the details out at my own pace. It was hard. Very hard. ''[Sigh]'' But then I have- but then I have to realize I have like- I mean besides I haven't heard from Sarah in a long time. I could- I didn't even know what- I couldn't- I guess I just never really knew from her point of view. I mean I had to hear it from- I have to hear it from her own mouth that she is going to be with you. But I never heard so ''[voice cracks]'' heartbreak.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright I'll tell you the truth. Ever since the move, I haven't heard from her either. I fear she might be dead.
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' I see.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't know where she is or what she's doing. She hasn't responded to me either. I had some nice pictures, I announced the wedding, but, ahh it's... I dunno. It's all gone. At least for now. She's supposedly in America right now, you know that, right? Could she be searching for you? ''[Laughs]'' I doubt it.
 '''Chris:''' Well I don't know. Can't say for sure, because yes, I have not heard from her.
 '''Clyde:''' Looks like she's probably moved on from both of us. I don't know what's going to happen to my child. [''sighs''] [''inaudible''] Now, I just want to ask you a few questions about- about your past life. You know there's this, You know there's this person called [[Wes Iseli]]? You seen- you know he's on youtube? He's married now, you know that?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry. Could you repeat his name please?
 '''Clyde:''' Wes Iseli, you know, the magician?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Wes EYES-LEE.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't know how to pronounce it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, okay- yeah, okay, so he's married. Is that what you just said?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, he's married now. Not to whatever-her-face was but, he's married, he's still successful and he's doing charity work. He's a very impressive man.
 '''Chris:''' Well, good for him.
 '''Clyde:''' How could you hate a man like that?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' I was jealous. Jealousy got the best of me then.
 '''Clyde:''' But what made you think that Sarah wanted you in any way?
 '''Chris:''' She and I were childhood friends.
 '''Clyde:''' Is that it?
 '''Chris:''' We were very close. She was my- we were literally next door neighbors.
 '''Clyde:''' Then welcome to the friendzone! Where you'll be friends forever and never be anything beyond that.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, I saw the movie [[Wikipedia:Just Friends|''Just Friends'']].
 '''Clyde:''' You know romantic comedies are just... bullshit.
 '''Chris:''' Romantic comedies build hope for true romances. And they build up for stronger romances. Though, I think I have a good general understanding of how to keep a romance true and strong.
 '''Clyde:''' No you don't. All you know is what's on TV and what's on movies and whatever. And they're lies, Chris, those are lies. And they've influenced you to a point where you just believe romance is saying "I love you" over and over and over. Like you're fated to be with a lover or something.
 '''Chris:''' I- it- it- it's a lot more than just saying I love you over and over again. It's a lot more than that. It's about building so many memories with the woma- with the person the- uh- person of the opposite gender that you truly love and care about. Growing fond memories, being close together. So many priceless- priceless. So close.
 '''Clyde:''' Memories. That- that's not what love is about.
 '''Chris:''' And those- Those memories build towards the true love. And honest- in the honest emotions that have to occur during that relationship. Because without the emo- because without the true love and honest emotions, it's just about as meaningless as sex with a prostitute.
 '''Clyde:''' Why don't you do that? I mean, come on man.
 '''Chris:''' Because I desire meaning. I take it to heart.
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I mean, [[Fuck Quest|all you want is sex]]. It's pointless to argue.
 '''Chris:''' You're wrong! You are absolutely wrong! I [[Lie|don't just want sex!]] I want the true honest relationship that goes along with that. If I just wanted sex I would have [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|hired a prostitute]] and gotten an STD years ago.
 '''Clyde:''' So you have an STD. Interesting.
 '''Chris:''' No. I said I would have hired a prostitute and got an STD. I do not have an STD.
 '''Clyde:''' And it looks like you'll never get one for your entire life. I mean, what do you look for in a woman.
 '''Chris:''' I look for ten- I look for caring personality, and strong emotions, strong willed. All around personality. Woman who will be good to me. And is not afraid to uh- to uh things to uh, to keep the relationship strong and alive, But also- Hmmm. Somebody also this woman who will just love me for me. And I will love her mutually. Her for her. And for who she is, and she love me for who I am.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh come on! I saw that, whatever you, that one myspace thing, you say you're looking for, blonde woman, not black, not a policewoman, not autistic, you know, under some weight. Come on man!
 '''Chris:''' So I was a bit more picky back then! And plus I wasn't, plus I wasn't sure if all the total details. I mean- I mean I've learned! That it gets more beyond the physical attributes. But still, call me [[Chris and race|old-fashioned]] but, I'd rather be- I would not- I'd uh- I'd definitely wouldn't uh... '''[[Niggos|NOT BLACK.''' Not black]]. Uh, I mean every other- all the other races would just like a majority... out of the whole bunch of races- [[Lie|I'm not being racist here]], Julie.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[In disbelieving shock]'' How is that not racist?! Come on! You blatantly said "not black!" Not black, come on.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I am willing to have- I mean I would care- I would care about a black woman as a friend. Honestly. But you know, not b- I would not want beyond just friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' You still have a lot to learn. That's about looks. Not about personality. You're still being racist.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sudden '''amazingly racist''' imitation of a Jamaican person]'' Hey don't you play for me no fool man.
 '''Clyde:''' What... What was that?
 '''Chris:''' You figure it out.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't- I have no comment on- what was that?!
 '''Chris:''' ''[more racist imitation]'' Oh that is the imitation of a black person or somebody from Jamaica!
 '''Clyde:''' You- you do know those are different- oh Christ almighty! So you are racist, my god.
 '''Chris:''' ''[More ear rape]'' Hey well if it fits Archie Bunker's shoes then let it be! But I am not totally racist man. ''[Normal voice]'' I am not racist.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughing]'' Then what was that?! What was that?
 '''Chris:''' You just- I uh- you just threw a label at me so I just imitated someone who actually was.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh my Christ. Christ almighty. I don't know what to say to that. You know what you should do
 '''Chris:''' ''[Still more ear rape]'' [[South Park|Respect mah authoriTAH!]]
 '''Clyde:''' Why don't you do a [[Donald Duck impersonation]]?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Still more ear rape]'' (''Inaudible Donald Duck impression'') ... after I do a Donald Duck imitation.
 '''Clyde:''' Why do you enjoy scaring me like this?
 '''Chris:''' Well... mmm... I did not mean to scare you. I was just being entertaining.
 '''Clyde:''' That was frightening.
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to lighten up the conversation. hey, if uh, if an imitation is imitatable [''sic''], then it's- it's okay then. Oh wait wait. Okay, imiatable to a certain point.
 '''Clyde:''' I...oh my God, I'm shaking. What was that voice? Th- that was hell...
 '''Chris:''' You asked me to do Donald Duck. ''[In Donald Duck voice]'' That was Donald Duck.
 '''Clyde:''' I know that's Donald Duck but my God, you put an end to that madness before it blows up on my childhood and my mind.
 '''Chris:''' Mm...I see. Well I feel for you there.
 '''Clyde:''' I gotta ask you something. I mean, for someone was has never gotten laid or have an actual girlfriend, you still seem to give advice.
 '''Chris:''' It's just- it's like, uh- the stereotype of how anybody would describe any teacher. Those who are unable to, teach.
 [Incoherent interrupting]
 '''Clyde:''' You don't become a math teacher not knowing how to do math. What makes you want to go off about what you should do or what
 '''Chris:''' ''[Burps]'' 'xcuse me. Mm. I figured good sound advice from personal experiences on when I try- when I tried to find myself- a woman to make a sweetheart from the ground up.
 '''Clyde:''' A-and what do you mean by that? From the ground up? Are- what does that mean?
 '''Chris:''' Starting with friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' It sounds like you want to ground up a woman; it sounds like a serial killer to me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, m-maybe it was a bad choice of words I was going with for a long time. But I meant starting from friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, you've been doing a lot of stupid things, and no one has corrected you. What kind of friends do you have?
 '''Chris:''' I have friends who care about me.
 '''Clyde:''' They didn't care about you enough to help you. Christ, I'm probably the closest friend you've got! I'm trying to help you!
 '''Chris:''' Mm. ''[pause]'' I hear you there. You said you were, uh, Vivian Gee's cousin?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah. ''[pause]'' I've been working with her on Rabbichoso, I mean, I've never been close to her, not much. She introduced Ryan to Sonichu. I still hold a bit of a grudge against her. But we're working on Rabbichoso together and I guess it's ''[unclear]''
 '''Chris:''' ''Sigh.'' ''[pause]'' Anyway, tell Vivian I'm sorry, I, uh, pushed her away, and her, and her sharing her advice with me. I was- I was not very receptive. I'm sorry.
 '''Clyde:''' That's- that's probably one of the most honest things I've heard you say so far. I'm surprised. ''[pause]'' But that doesn't make up for everything you've done. You've gotta take some action, man. If you don't take action, then your words are meaningless.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did take action. By the way, uh, video should be processed by now.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, let me take a look at it...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It live.
 ''(Clyde watches "[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]")
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Sigh]'' Alright, I won't cut off an arm or anything. Maybe a few fingers, but that's about it.
 '''Chris:''' No. You leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something but Chris's video is still playing over the top of him]''
 '''Chris:''' Look, I did-
 '''Clyde:''' It looks like the same video to me, what the hell!
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' Well, at least I did not say "gaybian".
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Pause]'' My god, you must be a really angry man. You just just... God, what IS in your room? Christ Almighty. You have so much stuff in your room, why don't you sell that? ''[Chris's video plays over the top of him, Clyde is hard to hear]'' There is no reason a man should have so many My Little Ponies and action figures and video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well. I have no response.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, you there? Wouldn't you like to see what Chris has in his room there, all his "mature" stuff? Like My Little Ponies? ''[laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' Look, anyway- Look anyway, I did the uh, video, I said... I said "gayyyy". Will you leave her alone?
 '''Clyde:''' To be honest, I don't feel like leaving her alone. I just came all this way... Not to see the action coming, I mean, it's a waste of money if I don't do anything.
 '''Chris:''' Look... I called- Look. I listen- I... I've been very patient with you. I gave you honest... answers. I gave you some opening... I listened to you openly. I did what you asked me to do. So, please... Oh yeah, and I apologized. For clo- For shutting you and Vivian out before. So, please, leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' You know what? No one's gonna believe those videos, everyone's gonna think you're straight, you've been doing that for way too long. Alright, one more request, and I'll think you'll enjoy doing this one... I want you to destroy every possession that you'd love to give up for Julie. That will show your dedication for Julie.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' Material goods is nothing you need to hold on to in this mortal world. And you have TONS of stuff. "It is only when you lose everything, is when you're free to do anything."
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' I will give that consideration.
 '''Clyde:''' If you have that up in the next eight hours, I'll leave. I'll leave for good. Everything that you would give up, and it better be a lot of stuff, because you have so much goddamn stuff. Go ahead, sell it all, make tons of money. And then you'll be able to support Julie. And that is enough for me.
 '''Chris:''' Well... In order for me to sort through all that it's gonna take a lot more than eight hours.
 '''Clyde:''' My God, you really do have a lot of things, don't you? I mean, how much of that stuff do you actually use?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' The vast majority of it.
 '''Clyde:''' You really use all that... My Little Ponies all the time, the... cards, and the... I don't know what else. You gotta show Julie you goddamn care about her.
 '''Chris:''' It's-
 '''Clyde:''' Sell you shit or destroy your shit, just... do something, make your room look presentable, I mean, Christ Almighty. You still look like a child!
 '''Chris:''' I'm young at heart.
 '''Clyde:''' Everybody has to grow up. Have you ever read ''Catcher in the Rye''?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, no, why'd I ask, you haven't read any book, have you?
 '''Chris:''' I've read- I've read a whole buncha R.L. Stine books. I've read... ah shoot, that one with George and... what's his n- Lenny? Uh... ''Of Mice and Men''.
 '''Clyde:''' You haven't read a serious piece of literature. Have you even read the Bible?
 '''Chris:''' I have read the Bible. And I have read-
 '''Clyde:''' I guess you haven't read one book that's of any merit.
 '''Chris:''' I have READ ''Of Mice and Men''. I have read-
 '''Clyde:''' I said "of merit". Of merit.
 '''Chris:''' I have read ''The Giver''.
 '''Clyde:''' That's ONE book, name at least seven more. No. You can't.
 '''Chris:''' Yes I can.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, go.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... ''[takes deep breath]'' I have read ''The Giver''. I have read ''Of Mice and Men''. I have read... R.L. Stine's ''Goosebumps'', and ''Fear Street''-
 '''Clyde:''' I said have you read a serious book, that is NOT a serious piece of literature.
 '''Chris:''' Well, among the genre, I just threw in two more as individual... books, so, so far, I gave you four.
 '''Clyde:''' ...Alright, that's four.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... Britney Spears- No, no, I'm sorry. Pamela Anderson's ''Star''. That's five. I'd include that. ''[Names another book, sounds like "Bobbitt's Town", I don't know]'' And um, I know I got another one on the tip of my tongue... Give me a moment... ''[Breathes deeply]'' And I'm reading Vivian's book.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright... I'll let that go, because I've read that book too, and I think it's a fantastic piece of literature.
 '''Chris:''' The majority of-
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, here's the deal. Because you have so much stuff, I hope to see tons of that in garbage bags, for sale, at a garage sale. I want to see you at least make a thousand dollars, with all that stuff you can sell. Or, destroy all the stuff, either you destroy it, or make a thousand dollars, that's what I want to see.
 '''Chris:''' Gonna take a lot of time...
 '''Clyde:''' I'm giving you three days.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Clyde:''' You can either destroy all your stuff to prove yourself to Julie, or you can make money. And I suggest you pick wisely. ''[Pause]'' I'd like to see fire. Fire, fire!
 ''[After a long pause, Chris suddenly yells]''
 '''Chris:''' They did that bit in ''[[Saw|Saw III]]''! Where the guy had to choose between his- between all those toys from his child, or that guy he had... he had that angst against.
 '''Clyde:''' ...I don't know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' ''SAW THREE''.
 '''Clyde:''' What is that?
 '''Chris:''' The movie.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't care about some goddamn movie, okay? I'm asking you... to give up material possessions. Okay, let's see what I have... I got a computer, I got a TV, what else do I got... I've got a printer. Uh, I've got speakers... Man, I've got... a drawing. What else... I really don't got much, to be honest- I got clothes, but everyone needs clothes. You own TOO MUCH shit, Chris. WAY too much. You need to give up some of that, MOST of it, in fact... Give up everything that ISN'T necessary for your survival. And prove to Julie that you are a man... You are a real man, because men don't play with fucking action figures, and... God, I don't know what else you do. Play... card games... It's a children's card game. For children. It's not for 26 year-olds. It's not for 21 year-olds. It's not even for 18 year-olds. I mean, wouldn't you like a nice, empty room, where you and Julie can spend a lot of time together, just thinking? Thinking about the future, thinking about life... I would love a girl who would, you know, just to chat about... whatever goes in the world, and... ride a motorcycle with me. Travel... I would love that.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well listen... I'll go through everything I have and I'll think- I will give it great consideration... Hmmm... Just, please, leave Jul- I prom- Look, I promise. I'll go through everything and I'll deci- and I'll decide for myself... And it's gonna take me quite a bit... definitely quite a bit of time... I'll make out a list... I'll do- I'll list a bunch of it on eBay or... some- yeah, yeah I'll list some of it on eBay. Just, uh, please. Promise me you'll leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, I just hope to see a video of you just... tossing most of that stuff away, into a dumpster or something. Because most of that stuff isn't sellable. You don't need it. It's worthless, it's nothing. Mere trinkets, in a land that has so much more to offer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright...
 '''Clyde:''' I give you three days. I'll see you then.
 '''Chris:''' I see. ''[sigh/grunt]''
 ''[Chris leaves and the trolls talk amongst themselves]''

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 5|Mumble Chat 5]]|}}

==Links==
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBdDRIZkxROEpSUWc Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Stress

2012-11-05T17:15:56Z

EddySteel: piped properly and please stop being lazy with piping

[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating "stress" with [[Father Call|being shot]].<ref name="IRC"/>}}

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

When pressed on his "high-functioning" [[autism]], Chris eventually learned that outside of [[high school]], he can't blame his shortcomings on autism. He discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris has never experienced actual stress in his life apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[troll]]ed. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress".

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[glasses]] and talked in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling "stressed" that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives.

==Stress fact==
===Things that give Chris stress===
* Bullies.<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* People at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* [[Pickles]]
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Niggos]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting a job]]
* Anything requiring him to leave the house
* [[Father Call|Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* The existence of [[ED|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* [[Autistic|His "mental block" of autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Being told things he doesn't like to hear
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright Issues]]
* [[Homo|Homosexuality]]
* His daily struggle against becoming [[homos|homosexual]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[Blanca|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a brushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
* People [[Chris and death|dying]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* Finding out that [[Emily|his date]] was a mole working for the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* [[Chris and his ego|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Being [[friend zone|friend zoned]]
* Having his identity [[CChanSonichuCWC|questioned]]
* [[Megan|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* Being [[Father Call|cal]][[28 October 2011|led]] a child
* Back when [[Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly ok)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> <ref name="IRC20081231"/>
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that [[autism]] isn't an excuse for
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for

===Things that relieve Chris's stress===
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>

===Things that Chris does when stressed===
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes Into Slumber <ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Chan_Update_21_October_2008</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly racist<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Sports bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]

==References==
<references />
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

CWCFlyingElephants

2012-11-03T17:11:22Z

EddySteel: /* External links */ fbi killed megaupload

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|frame|This video, quite clearly indeed, shows Chris's horrendous man-ass.]]
"'''CWCFlyingElephants'''" is a seven-minute video, published by [[The Miscreants]] on 27 [[April 2009]]. Trying to cheer his then-[[sweetheart]] [[Vanessa Hudgens]], it shows [[Chris]] in his room, naked, displaying a show of what he calls [[random-access humor]]. Chris runs, twirls, acts crazy and does handstands while in the [[nude]]. In addition, he [[parody|imitates]] lines from ''[[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd, n' Eddy|Ed, Edd, n Eddy]]'', quotes ''[[Monty Python]]'', plays with [[toys]], and throws around [[Lil' Chris]].
==Videos==
===Censored Version===
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWCFlyingElephants Censored
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eKrl7SA0Myo}}
| stardate = 27 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = [[Image:Creepyrobe.PNG]] Creepy Robe
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Power]]
| next = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]
}}

===Audio Version===
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWCFlyingElephants Audio
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ooT5gK3Cjqk}}
| stardate = 27 [[April 2009]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Power]]
| next = [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]
}}</center>

=== Transcript ===
And now for somecummpentydifferent. [''Chris shows off his [[Muscle bra|man-tits]]''] BUUUUNG! And now it's [[Monty Python]]'s flying elephants. Du tu du tu du tu du. Du tu du tu du tu du. Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, [[Gregg Mays|Greeg]], why is people running away. Johan! Johan, why is people running away? I don't know Johan! Greeg! Johan! Johan! Why is people running away? I don't know, buddy Greeg. Johan! Johan, why is people running away? I dont know, Greeg. Johan, Johan, why is people running away? SHUT UP! You're driving me crazy!

AAAAAAAAGH! HNNNNG! HNNNNG! HNNNNG! HNNNNG! HNNNNG! Hm!

[[Star Wars|It's a trap!]] HNNNNNNG! HNNNNG! HNNNNG! HNNNNG!

And now for something completely different, a man impersonating [[South Park|Towelie the Towel.]] Oh my goodness, [[Tomgirl Pictures|my pussy is wet!]] Don't forget to bring a towel! What? When your pussy is wet, and you don't want to lose a bet, you want to dry yourself up right away. That's why Towelie says: don't forget to bring a towel! [[Yawning Squirtle|Wanna get high?]] NOOOOO! NOOO!

I would like to meet someone of [[Autism|severe intelligence]]. I would like to hear the sound of two bricks being smashed together. I would like to see ten million stupid monkeys. I would like to see [[Chris and religion|John the Baptist]] impersonation of [[Wikipedia:Graham Hill|Graham Hill]]. Yes it's historic impersonations!

Full-frontal nudity. Yes I would do it. If it was valid. If the money was valid. I parted permisses society! I've heard of you in a sense, but I've never had it. Shut up you're driving me crazy. AAAAAAAAAGH!

I'm a woodpecker! 'Cept with dirt!<ref>Originally said by Ed; originated from [[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd 'n Eddy|Ed, Edd 'n Eddy]] episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/stop-look-ed/episode/123292/summary.html "Stop, Look, Ed"]</ref>

Get out of my head! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG! HNNNNG! HLOO!

And now for something completely different. Bebelapdapbambalamba. Bebelabadapbambajamba-[[Transformers|Bumblebeeee]]! Buzzing around. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Really, [[Transformers|Prowl]]. And how necessary is that side-car. Just so you can wear the helmet of your past mastaaaaaar! Come here. [[Wikipedia:Soundwave (Transformers)|Soundwave]]. Lend me [[Wikipedia:Laserbeak|Laserbeak]]!

DIIII DIIII DIIII DIIII [[CWC More Than A Feeling|More than a feeling-]]

I like a nice dance in forstue. Otherwise, who said that? Who said that? Who said that? Anywaaay. Who said that? There will now be a short intermission, during which small ice-creams and large boxes will be served in the commissary. Another way to drive people away from the theater is to show a turfs-dispenser. Fzzzs. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

[[White knight|Pearls before swine]] presents! The like. Do you like this model, or how about this model? I'll give you a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|karate-kick]] for your money. I'll give you a punch, and a whiz-bang, and a boom! All you got to do is come down here.

[''[[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck impression]]''] Oh my gosh, look at me! I'm [[Nudes|naked]]! I forgot my [[Sailor Moon|sailor suit]], and my hat, and [[Duck|apparatus]]. I don't know, but I guess. Here's what I have to do. Here's my clothes. Bwaa. I went out of the cartoon.

Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Hmmph, rmmph. Excuse me, what did you say? Hmmph, rmmph.

Hey [[South Park|Kenny]], you get out here, you take off that stupid little orange or blue jacket, or whatever the hell color it is you wear, and talk to people like you every real life, don't just mumble your words.

Hey dude, that's not cool.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Mm-hm. [''Imitating [[Wikipedia:King of the Hill|King of the Hill]]'']

[''Drinks soda''] AAAAAAH!

Product placement, eh. Product placement in this program is hereby endorsed and provided by the studio, which is provided from the companies of which those products became, originated from, thereof. Another way we can drive people away from the studio is to act. Like. A. Loony!

[[Random-access humor|I once knew a man from Nantucket, he has on his head, a silly bucket]]. And now I have on my head, a [[Li'l Chris|silly little bear]], I'm wearing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|clean underwear]]. Wearing clean underwear like I just don't care.

Wow, he just said what I said. I'm undecided!

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG! HNNNNG! HNNNNG! HNNNNG! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG! PFOOP!

[''Holds a [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|sock puppet]] up''] Hm, I guess he's done left the studio for now. Well, that's all folks.

Du du du du du du du du. Du du du du du du du du. [[Pedofork|Pedi]] pedi di di. Plong.

LILILILILILILILI! PLONK!

Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. Moola moola moola. He must be asking for a [[Monthly Tugboat|handout]]. Indeed. And now it's the indeed show, starring [[Gilligan's Island|Mr. Thurston Howell III]]. Indeed. Indeed.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Random-access humor]]
*[[Monty Python]]
*[[I Got A Fish]]
*[[Bunny Hop]]
*[[Nudes]]
*[[CWC 3D Voice Check]]
==External links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiJont1FhOw A sample of the madness]
* [http://www.slutload.com/watch/7hZAzJutuSx/Chris-chan-completely-different.html Watch CWCFlyingElephants]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Power]]|nextlink=[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-27]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2009-04-27]]

Evan

2012-11-03T15:25:13Z

EddySteel: 4CHAN ARCHIVE IS DEAD!!! removed now dead links

[[Image:Detailsonichurule34.png|thumb|200px|right|One of Evan's first pieces Sonichu art.]]

'''Evan Christopher George''' is a [[troll]] and the original creator of [[Simonchu]].

Rewind to [[2007]]: [[Sonichu]] was found on the Cartoons image board at [[4chan]]. It soon made its way over to Video Games. On 3 November, a "fanart" (read: dickgirls) thread for Sonichu was made at /v/ and someone suggested that someone there should do the honors of sending him the e-mails. Thinking it to be a good idea at the time, Evan collected the best images from the thread and a pornographic MS Paint comic he drew (pornographic MS Paint comics being his disgusting yet hilarious specialty to this very day) and sent it to [[Chris]]'s AOL e-mail account.

[[Masturbating and squirtin'|The reply]] he got shocked a nation.

The line "masturbating and squirtin'" was the first sign of Chris's more perverse side, and most hilarious of all was the angry drawing of Chris and Sonichu made for his response (an image ripped out of Sub-Episode 3<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/images/2/23/SchuComic4P24.jpg</ref>), with the words "We're Keeping Track." The [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page was initially made solely to house the responses Evan had been getting and the fanart he had been sending. Eventually Chris threatened to create Evan in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' and beat him up, much like he had [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and Evan sent him a drawing of himself just so he could create such a video. However, he never replied and largely forgot these e-mails even happened.

==After the e-mails==

After the emails, Evan remained a part of the Sonichu scene for some time. After initially drawing up fan art in MS Paint of the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' car from the preview of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], the image was actually used in the comic when it was officially released. Evan was oddly credited by his Encyclopedia Dramatica account name, implying that Chris got the image from ED. However, if he had any sense, he would've realized the same account was used to post those HATEFUL and SLANDEROUS e-mails that ruined his life.

[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|150px|right|The awful fancharacter that eventually became [[Simonla|worse]].]]

Ironically, in spite of directly confessing multiple times that he was responsible for the Encyclopedia Dramatica articles due to the e-mails he had sent, Chris still blames [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to this day.

{{anchor|Simonchu}}Eventually he thought it'd be funny to try and get a fan character into Sonichu, creating "Simonchu" due to his at-the-time addiction to ''Gurren Lagann''. This totally backfired on him as Chris turned it into [[mass debating|mass debate]] material, making Simonchu into the character [[Simonla Rosechu]].

==Effort to remove Simonla from ''Sonichu''==

For some time, Evan attempted to have [[Simonla Rosechu]] removed from the comics, stating anger at Simonla being given a [[china]] (which is sort of ironic considering that he gave [[Rosechu]] a [[pickle]], but Chris isn't clever enough to make that point). Christian decided he would include Simonchu in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] after reading these e-mails, which would have lead to TWO shitty recolors running around instead of one less as intended--if Chris had actually included Simonchu.

[[Image:GDChandler.png|thumb|left|Another image from the ''Simonchu'' comics.]]

In a Mailbag Chris mentioned to a fan that Evan allowed him to edit Simonchu into Simonla.<ref>[[Mailbag 21]]</ref> Soon after, Evan sent an e-mail to Chris on the [[CWCipedia]], calling BS on that claim, only to be ignored.<ref>[[Mailbag 22]]</ref> Evan sent a second e-mail, demanding that, as his character, Simonla be killed off on-screen. Evan got a response, blankly informing him that Simonla was essentially Chris's character now, since he decided she would date [[Wild Sonichu]].<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>

Evan persisted in his actions to remove Simonla from the comic, his e-mails to the Mailbag either being answered bluntly or being entirely ignored. Chris insisted on what he called "The Brother/Sister Plan", stating he would put Simonchu into the comics as Simonla's brother. However, Evan protested this, not wanting TWO bastardizations of his character running around. The situation culminated in [[Mailbag 43#...Well,_this_is_disturbing!|an e-mail originally sent to enlighten Chris on the use of IP addresses]]. As a sidenote, Evan asked Chris to remove Simonla once more; Chris promptly retorted with a long-winded and completely bizarre statement:

{{quote|YOUR Simonchu came to [[Cwcville]] while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True Wild Sonichu was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the c***-shack known as "Ecgville"...

...Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life. I am the Great Director Chandler!|Chris, [[Chris and reality|completely losing his grip on reality.]]}}

Ironically, earlier that day Chris uploaded an image to [[CWCipedia]] encouraging support for aid to the 2010 Haiti earthquake disaster, depicting Simonchu and Simonla working together to build a table. The construction of this table was so monumental that the two placed a plaque in front of it stating [[Chris and reality|"Rebuilt by the Brother/Sister Team of Simonla and Simonchu"]].

Unwilling to let him continue to use Simonchu as well as his "sister", Evan sent [[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly|Chris another email]], warning him that it would be his last chance to remove both characters from the Haiti image and the comics. Chris states that, despite all her relatively obvious similarities to Simonchu, that Simonla is a "SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER", and that Evan should stop [[stress|stressing out]] about it. Chris also claims that, although the character is based on Simonchu, the fact that he ''could'' have come up with her on his own basically amounts to her being an original character. Later, Chris would attempt to call a "retraction" and erase all evidence of Simonla ever being inspired by Simonchu, hoping that this would provide an easy escape to the problem. Of course, it didn't.

On [[I am Alive|6 February 2010]], Chris revealed that he was finally doing away with Simonla and removing her entry from the CWCipedia. However, this didn't please Evan, especially when Chris said he'd do it "later". In response, his lawyers had the CWCipedia slapped with a cease and desist notice to fully remove the character, forcing the Sysop to close the CWCipedia to edits. This resulted in Evan [[9 February 2010|destroying the undestroyable]].

On 14 [[February 2010]], Evan released two pages from [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] which he had received from Chris. The first page is essentially a written form of his apology videos to Alec and Evan, whilst the second page involves Simonla finally being killed, by way of an exploding toilet. While this conformed to Alec's wishes, Chris as usual refuses to admit total defeat, and implies Wild is out for "revenge."

==''Simonchu'' comic==

Evan used to work on ''Simonchu'', a comic series describing the adventures of Simonchu as Evan intended. It was hosted on the [[Asperpedia]], due to Evan entrusting the rights of Simonchu to Alec Benson Leary. Whether Chris's mysterious G.D.C. powers have taken their effect on Evan's free will remains to be seen.

After Chris finally killed off Simonla, Evan put the ''Simonchu'' comic on hold. Evan's stance on the possibility of more ''Simonchu'' comics is so far unknown.

==In the comics==
Evan appeared in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]: attempting to drop something on Simonla to kill her, he's stopped by [[Magi-Chan]] before he can. However, [[Alec Benson Leary]] ends up doing so, planting an exploding [[Pokémon#Voltorb|Voltorb]] in the toilet and killing Simonla. Evan is imprisoned along with Alec, [[Sean]] and [[Mao]] (Sean and Mao having done nothing to them) and given a biased show trial that predictably gets them sentenced to death. Evan is tortured to death (having his hands and feet amputated and his [[duck]] mutilated) by Wild and his new child, [[Sandy Rosechu]]. And since Evan is, according the rules of the CWC-verse, Sandy's grandfather, a whole new layer of disturbing is added to the whole thing.

In [[Book10Replacement|the revised ending]], Evan is instead exiled to the Amish community, where, without Internet access, he can no longer troll.

<center>
<gallery>
File:Evan responds to his death.png|Evan calls Chris out on death by genital mutilation.
File:Evan responds to his death2.png|More explanation why kids drill dicks
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

{{trolls}}
{{people}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]

Encyclopedia Dramatica

2012-11-02T19:12:18Z

EddySteel: /* External links */ fix'd link

{{Timelinetop
|size = 100px
|start = 2008
|end = Ongoing}}
{{protip|Stop trying to put mentions of ed.se on this page. Only use it to replace broken ed.com links.}}
{{Quote|I will see to that website's demise, or my name isn't Christian Weston Chandler.|Christopher Weston Chandler<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}
'''Encyclopedia Dramatica''' (aka '''ED'''), replaced by [http://ohinternet.com/ Oh Internet], was home to the Chris-chan page that introduced Chris to the world at large and made him a popular target for [[trolling]].
==Chris on ED==

Chris has denounced the ED page in several of his videos, claiming it is filled with "VICIOUS [[lies|LIES]] AND SLANDER."

After a considerable amount of trolling and bitching and uploading hideous pornographic images, including the disastrous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], Chris posted this gem on the ED talk page:

{{quotebox|I AM ADDING THE [[Rule 34|POSITIVITY]] THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED [[Pickle|Additions]] to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!!

So, Draw Breasts, [[china|Vaginas]], Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them, you [[Duck|Two-Inch Short]] [[Pickle|Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!!]]

Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the [[Women's Rights]], For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.

P.S. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Grow a BACKBONE and GO ASK WOMEN OUT AS WELL, YOU TROLLS!]]}}

Chris then returned, admitting defeat after his tard rage:

{{quotebox|Months ago, I have found from this page being the first of a number hate against me, Christian Weston Chandler. *[[sigh]]* Among the number of you all, my name has been dragged through the mud, my e-mail and MySpace have been hacked for the e-mail information and random information that have been twisted into mockery of [[obesity|my person]], [[Chris and sex|my integrity]], [[List of Chris's lies|my honesty]], [[Ryan Cash|my compassion]], [[heart level|my heart]], [[Chris and religion|my soul]], [[autism|my being]]. Not only that, but the names of my two best gal-pals, [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Anna McLerran]], and my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], have also been dragged through the mud of mockery along with mine. Not only were [[heart level|my feelings were hurt greatly]], but also those of [[Megan]] and [[Anna]], and a number of my acquaintances within my small social circle were shocked and terrified that such [[trolls|cruelty]], such [[pickle|mockery]], such [[homos|hatred]] was built from the number of those who have added more and more to this disgrace of a description of my [[autism|being]].

For a while, I was angry and enraged, and I shoved information and drawings regretfully drawn beyond my personal boundries down the throat of the webmasters of the page, in attempt to kill the hype and hatred against me. But No More, I give up on trying to edit the page to be more positive, or to delete the page altogether.

But I have ONE Question, that I put unto you all, the individuals who have taken part in creating this web page, and I would appreciate an Open, Detailed and Honest Answer from each of you in simple e-mails or reply on this discussion page.

[[Frequently Asked Questions|Why do you hate me so much?]]

What did I do against you to cause the hatred against me? What physical or emotional harm have I ensued unto you? Why do you hate me for being myself in this world full of people who can't help but be themselves? I've had nothing against any of you. I don't even know any of you personally, as far as I know. I have nothing that any of you have already, so Why?

I leave you with that to ponder and ponder again over.

Sincerely;

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

After the late summer of [[2008]], Chris largely gave up on direct involvement with ED. Around the spring of [[2009]], he may have posted one or two comments on the ED talk page referring to [[Clyde Cash]], however. The first is below. It was deleted fairly quickly.

{{quotebox|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the [[heart level|crestfallen emotions]], but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to [[troll]] me any further. [[fangs|Do you dare?]]

Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler

--ChrisChanSonichu 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)}}

There was some dispute over it actually being Chris until he himself confirmed it in the post that followed:

{{quotebox|Hey, [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE]], you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not [[PS3|Playstation]]. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(

Christian C.}}

According to Clyde, the above entry was deleted after roughly a minute, probably due to Chris realizing that if he were to ever arrange to meet Clyde, he'd only send his parents anyway.

==ED on Chris, his article, and his article's talk page==

[[Image:Drycow.PNG|thumb|Uploaded 12 December 2008, before the new comic, [[Miyamoto]] saga, and [[BlueSpike]] saga]]

For several months prior to the events of the [[BlueSpike]] saga in early 2009, many thought that Chris had dried up, that Chris could go no further. Furthermore, the [[Blanca Weiss#FCTC|FCTC]]'s posting of new pics of Chris's bent [[duck]] in December 2008 prompted an ED admin to lock the talk page and demand satisfaction:

{{quote|MINE: What this talkpage is. If you guys continue your faggotry after this protection expires today I will lock it down longer, and then eventually permanently.|Arguecat3, now former ED sysop, 4 December 2008}}

{{quote|I say we just delete it. Along with the archives|Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 5 December 2008}}

{{quote|Fuck this article and it's talk page. Stupid discussions unrelated to upkeep and editing are the only thing keeping this shit interesting. You guys take this shit WAY to srsly. Find another retard to stalk fgts|Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 10 December 2008}}

==1 April 2009==

[[Image:ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|left|thumb|Screenshot of ED's front page.]]
[[Image:Chris-chan ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|thumb|Screenshot of the article.]]

On April Fools' Day 2009, the Chris-chan article was taken down and replaced with a message.

{{quote|This afternoon, we at Encyclopædia Dramatica have independently decided to remove the Chris-chan article about Christian W. Chandler from our site. We have also removed all references that slander, vilify, demean, or are found to be overly offensive. In plain terms, this ordeal has gone on far too long and gotten far out of hand. We have unfairly focused on him to the point of intruding in his private life and causing him great personal grief, which no person should ever have to endure. This behavior is not in line with our site goals, and we never wanted something like this. Still, we must take complete responsibility for all our actions, both public and private. And that is why we are speaking to you today. But we say to you now that at no time did we ask anyone to lie, hide, or destroy evidence, or to take any other unlawful action.

We know that his public comments and his silence about this matter gave a false impression. We misled people, including even his family. We deeply regret that. We can only tell you we were motivated by many factors. First, by a desire to protect himself from the embarrassment of his own conduct.

He was also very concerned about protecting his family. The investigation moved on to his family and friends, then into his private life. And now the investigation itself is under investigation.

This has gone on too long, cost too much, and hurt too many innocent people.

Regardless of any public pressure to reinstate the article, it must be stressed that our intrusion on Chris' private life will cease, and we intend to reclaim his family life for his family. Even internet celebrities have private lives. It is time to stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the prying into private lives and get on with our national life. Our website has been distracted by this matter for too long, and we take responsibility for our part in all of this. That is all we can do.

Now it is time -- in fact, it is past time to move on. We have important work to do -- real opportunities to seize, real problems to solve, real matters to face.

And so tonight, we ask you to turn away from the spectacle of the past two years, as we return our attention to all the challenges and all the promise of the next century.

Thank you. And good night.|ED, <s>in a rare case of moralfaggotry</s> joking.}}

Not surprisingly, the page was put back up on 2 April.

==Chris's use of Encyclopedia Dramatica==

''See also [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

Chris tried to use ED to muster his personal army to go after [[Joshua Martinez]]. Obviously, nobody did what he asked. <ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947</s></ref> He also tried to create a page on ED for his "CCWC's Fanart of Horrors" (see: [[troll]] art), but a sysop immediately caught it and redirected it to an anti-Semitic template.

==Chris and ED==

{{quote|I do think it is a little behind [[CWCki|cwcwiki]] [sic] on a few things, though, but that is to be expected.|[[Jason Kendrick Howell]] on the ED article today<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan/JKH_Interview</ref>}}

For a while, the ED page was crammed with misinformation (such as Chris attempting to molest [[Patti]], or the idea that Ivy was really [[Kimmi|the blowup doll]]), but was cleaned out various times.

Trolls and general observers of Chris have since turned to [[CWCki]] to get a general picture of Chris that is less biased than ED (emphasis on "less"), and TV Tropes describes CWCki as being "''more accurate and slightly more SFW''" than ED.<ref>http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu</ref>

As for Chris himself, the ED page STILL bothered him. An [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|entire page]] of Chris's website, established in December 2009 and updated afterward, is dedicated to "correcting" the evil ED article with his own True and Honest take on the situation. Naturally, it's all about how Chris isn't remotely responsible for anything he has done wrong, and how it's all the fault of his [[autism]] or those DANG DIRTY TROLLS.

==Oh Internet!==
On 14 April 2011, ED was redirected to [http://ohinternet.com/ Oh Internet!], a more safe-for-work wiki in an attempt to achieve the site revenue required to stay online. Needless to say, summaries of [http://ohinternet.com/Chris-chan Chris] and [http://ohinternet.com/Sonichu Sonichu] are available here.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==

*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]
*[[4-cent garbage]]
*[[Chris-chan (forum)]]
*[[Christian's sex joke]]
*[[User:Lime/Sonichu TV Tropes Article|TVTropes]] - The original article, before it was locked and edited.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?6m7hk01609e4e7k Google Cache of Chris's ED article]
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan Archive of Chris's page on the "new" "new" ED]
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan The True and Honest "Chris-chan" article]
*<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Reldnahc Chris's ED account]</s>
*[http://ohinternet.com/Chris-chan Oh Internet! article (SFW!)]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

Encyclopedia Dramatica

2012-11-02T18:19:06Z

EddySteel: /* 1 April 2009 */ obvious joke is obvious

{{Timelinetop
|size = 100px
|start = 2008
|end = Ongoing}}
{{protip|Stop trying to put mentions of ed.se on this page. Only use it to replace broken ed.com links.}}
{{Quote|I will see to that website's demise, or my name isn't Christian Weston Chandler.|Christopher Weston Chandler<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}
'''Encyclopedia Dramatica''' (aka '''ED'''), replaced by [http://ohinternet.com/ Oh Internet], was home to the Chris-chan page that introduced Chris to the world at large and made him a popular target for [[trolling]].
==Chris on ED==

Chris has denounced the ED page in several of his videos, claiming it is filled with "VICIOUS [[lies|LIES]] AND SLANDER."

After a considerable amount of trolling and bitching and uploading hideous pornographic images, including the disastrous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], Chris posted this gem on the ED talk page:

{{quotebox|I AM ADDING THE [[Rule 34|POSITIVITY]] THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED [[Pickle|Additions]] to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!!

So, Draw Breasts, [[china|Vaginas]], Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them, you [[Duck|Two-Inch Short]] [[Pickle|Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!!]]

Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the [[Women's Rights]], For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.

P.S. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Grow a BACKBONE and GO ASK WOMEN OUT AS WELL, YOU TROLLS!]]}}

Chris then returned, admitting defeat after his tard rage:

{{quotebox|Months ago, I have found from this page being the first of a number hate against me, Christian Weston Chandler. *[[sigh]]* Among the number of you all, my name has been dragged through the mud, my e-mail and MySpace have been hacked for the e-mail information and random information that have been twisted into mockery of [[obesity|my person]], [[Chris and sex|my integrity]], [[List of Chris's lies|my honesty]], [[Ryan Cash|my compassion]], [[heart level|my heart]], [[Chris and religion|my soul]], [[autism|my being]]. Not only that, but the names of my two best gal-pals, [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Anna McLerran]], and my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], have also been dragged through the mud of mockery along with mine. Not only were [[heart level|my feelings were hurt greatly]], but also those of [[Megan]] and [[Anna]], and a number of my acquaintances within my small social circle were shocked and terrified that such [[trolls|cruelty]], such [[pickle|mockery]], such [[homos|hatred]] was built from the number of those who have added more and more to this disgrace of a description of my [[autism|being]].

For a while, I was angry and enraged, and I shoved information and drawings regretfully drawn beyond my personal boundries down the throat of the webmasters of the page, in attempt to kill the hype and hatred against me. But No More, I give up on trying to edit the page to be more positive, or to delete the page altogether.

But I have ONE Question, that I put unto you all, the individuals who have taken part in creating this web page, and I would appreciate an Open, Detailed and Honest Answer from each of you in simple e-mails or reply on this discussion page.

[[Frequently Asked Questions|Why do you hate me so much?]]

What did I do against you to cause the hatred against me? What physical or emotional harm have I ensued unto you? Why do you hate me for being myself in this world full of people who can't help but be themselves? I've had nothing against any of you. I don't even know any of you personally, as far as I know. I have nothing that any of you have already, so Why?

I leave you with that to ponder and ponder again over.

Sincerely;

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

After the late summer of [[2008]], Chris largely gave up on direct involvement with ED. Around the spring of [[2009]], he may have posted one or two comments on the ED talk page referring to [[Clyde Cash]], however. The first is below. It was deleted fairly quickly.

{{quotebox|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the [[heart level|crestfallen emotions]], but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to [[troll]] me any further. [[fangs|Do you dare?]]

Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler

--ChrisChanSonichu 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)}}

There was some dispute over it actually being Chris until he himself confirmed it in the post that followed:

{{quotebox|Hey, [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE]], you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not [[PS3|Playstation]]. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(

Christian C.}}

According to Clyde, the above entry was deleted after roughly a minute, probably due to Chris realizing that if he were to ever arrange to meet Clyde, he'd only send his parents anyway.

==ED on Chris, his article, and his article's talk page==

[[Image:Drycow.PNG|thumb|Uploaded 12 December 2008, before the new comic, [[Miyamoto]] saga, and [[BlueSpike]] saga]]

For several months prior to the events of the [[BlueSpike]] saga in early 2009, many thought that Chris had dried up, that Chris could go no further. Furthermore, the [[Blanca Weiss#FCTC|FCTC]]'s posting of new pics of Chris's bent [[duck]] in December 2008 prompted an ED admin to lock the talk page and demand satisfaction:

{{quote|MINE: What this talkpage is. If you guys continue your faggotry after this protection expires today I will lock it down longer, and then eventually permanently.|Arguecat3, now former ED sysop, 4 December 2008}}

{{quote|I say we just delete it. Along with the archives|Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 5 December 2008}}

{{quote|Fuck this article and it's talk page. Stupid discussions unrelated to upkeep and editing are the only thing keeping this shit interesting. You guys take this shit WAY to srsly. Find another retard to stalk fgts|Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 10 December 2008}}

==1 April 2009==

[[Image:ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|left|thumb|Screenshot of ED's front page.]]
[[Image:Chris-chan ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|thumb|Screenshot of the article.]]

On April Fools' Day 2009, the Chris-chan article was taken down and replaced with a message.

{{quote|This afternoon, we at Encyclopædia Dramatica have independently decided to remove the Chris-chan article about Christian W. Chandler from our site. We have also removed all references that slander, vilify, demean, or are found to be overly offensive. In plain terms, this ordeal has gone on far too long and gotten far out of hand. We have unfairly focused on him to the point of intruding in his private life and causing him great personal grief, which no person should ever have to endure. This behavior is not in line with our site goals, and we never wanted something like this. Still, we must take complete responsibility for all our actions, both public and private. And that is why we are speaking to you today. But we say to you now that at no time did we ask anyone to lie, hide, or destroy evidence, or to take any other unlawful action.

We know that his public comments and his silence about this matter gave a false impression. We misled people, including even his family. We deeply regret that. We can only tell you we were motivated by many factors. First, by a desire to protect himself from the embarrassment of his own conduct.

He was also very concerned about protecting his family. The investigation moved on to his family and friends, then into his private life. And now the investigation itself is under investigation.

This has gone on too long, cost too much, and hurt too many innocent people.

Regardless of any public pressure to reinstate the article, it must be stressed that our intrusion on Chris' private life will cease, and we intend to reclaim his family life for his family. Even internet celebrities have private lives. It is time to stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the prying into private lives and get on with our national life. Our website has been distracted by this matter for too long, and we take responsibility for our part in all of this. That is all we can do.

Now it is time -- in fact, it is past time to move on. We have important work to do -- real opportunities to seize, real problems to solve, real matters to face.

And so tonight, we ask you to turn away from the spectacle of the past two years, as we return our attention to all the challenges and all the promise of the next century.

Thank you. And good night.|ED, <s>in a rare case of moralfaggotry</s> joking.}}

Not surprisingly, the page was put back up on 2 April.

==Chris's use of Encyclopedia Dramatica==

''See also [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

Chris tried to use ED to muster his personal army to go after [[Joshua Martinez]]. Obviously, nobody did what he asked. <ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947</s></ref> He also tried to create a page on ED for his "CCWC's Fanart of Horrors" (see: [[troll]] art), but a sysop immediately caught it and redirected it to an anti-Semitic template.

==Chris and ED==

{{quote|I do think it is a little behind [[CWCki|cwcwiki]] [sic] on a few things, though, but that is to be expected.|[[Jason Kendrick Howell]] on the ED article today<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan/JKH_Interview</ref>}}

For a while, the ED page was crammed with misinformation (such as Chris attempting to molest [[Patti]], or the idea that Ivy was really [[Kimmi|the blowup doll]]), but was cleaned out various times.

Trolls and general observers of Chris have since turned to [[CWCki]] to get a general picture of Chris that is less biased than ED (emphasis on "less"), and TV Tropes describes CWCki as being "''more accurate and slightly more SFW''" than ED.<ref>http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu</ref>

As for Chris himself, the ED page STILL bothered him. An [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|entire page]] of Chris's website, established in December 2009 and updated afterward, is dedicated to "correcting" the evil ED article with his own True and Honest take on the situation. Naturally, it's all about how Chris isn't remotely responsible for anything he has done wrong, and how it's all the fault of his [[autism]] or those DANG DIRTY TROLLS.

==Oh Internet!==
On 14 April 2011, ED was redirected to [http://ohinternet.com/ Oh Internet!], a more safe-for-work wiki in an attempt to achieve the site revenue required to stay online. Needless to say, summaries of [http://ohinternet.com/Chris-chan Chris] and [http://ohinternet.com/Sonichu Sonichu] are available here.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==

*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]
*[[4-cent garbage]]
*[[Chris-chan (forum)]]
*[[Christian's sex joke]]
*[[User:Lime/Sonichu TV Tropes Article|TVTropes]] - The original article, before it was locked and edited.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?6m7hk01609e4e7k Google Cache of Chris's ED article]
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan Archive of Chris's page on the "new" "new" ED]
*<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan The True and Honest "Chris-chan" article]</s>
*<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Reldnahc Chris's ED account]</s>
*[http://ohinternet.com/Chris-chan Oh Internet! article (SFW!)]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV

2012-10-23T18:08:51Z

EddySteel: /* Transcript */ updated ED link

[[File:TheTitanicTruth.jpg|thumb|Lars' ship sunk by the [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]]]]

'''Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[September 2010]]. Chris addresses the video to [[Lars]], an ex-boyfriend of Chris's latest [[sweetheart]], [[Jackie]], who had been spreading a [[Nudes|nude photo of her]] around the Internet. Jackie want Chris to "scare the crap out of Lars" so that he wouldn't trouble her again.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref> Chris proceeds to sink a [[LEGO]] boat, apparently with Lars aboard. The grand finale is Chris destroying the boat and some LEGO characters with his feet.

[[Barb]] makes a rare appearance at the end; Chris later told Jackie that she was clearing out stink bugs from their filthy home.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 16]]</ref>

Of note in this video is further signs of Chris's [[Chris and health|rapid aging.]] His [[hair]]line is further back than it ever has been, though it appears Chris may have resorted to growing his hair out to hide his premature balding. However, the way it looks makes him look creepier than ever before.

{{clear}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars' Ship has Sunk
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fnDx2XjnYsg}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
| next = [[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

{{quote|The consequences will never be the same|Chris on breaking LEGO}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:Brickfest-back.jpg|thumb|These guys had no idea what was coming]]

Good afternoon. This message goes out to an ex of mine, dear belove- my dear beloved sweetheart's, who goes by the name of Lars. Who had a session [[Chris and English|[means to say "an obsession"]]], with model boats! [''Presents Lego boat''] And here is a Titanic-like boat! He is piloting it! Let's see what happens to his boat!

[''Moves "boat" down to an inverted Lego board'']

[''High pitched voice''] "Oh, look at me! I'm sailing in my Titanic-like boat which was originally for my girlfriend! Who is now Christian's girlfriend! And today was our anniversary! This twenty fifth of September - Oh no! What this! A ciberg!"

[''Wails and breaks boat apart'']
[[File:Hmmodel.jpg|thumb|Right|What the video is about]]

It gets better. You know what. Because... Here comes the demolition team that finds... th-the remains... of the sunken ship. [''Steps on the "ship"''] Boom! Boom! [''Cackles''] Oh, and here's the captain of the ship! The remains of him anyway! Peoww! [''Crushes figurine underfoot, collapsing a small pile of hoarded books and copybooks by accident, then zooms in''] [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|Weak as dirt]].

[''Points upwards''] [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Jessi_Slaughter The consequences will never be the same.] Lars, [[I AM STRONG|you are no match for me and my]] [[obesity|muscles]]. [''[[Barb]] says "Hello"'']

[''Licks his lips as if about to speak again - video ends'']

==See also==
*[[New Address]]
*[[Twin Falling Towers]], in which Chris mocked another tragedy
==References==
<references/>
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-25]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-25]]

User talk:Jcrowley1985

2012-10-17T07:04:55Z

EddySteel: /* Why you were banned */

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just be sure to check out the [[CWCki:User pages|guidelines]] first.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:WelcomeBot|WelcomeBot]] 16:19, 1 November 2011 (PDT)

== Why you were banned ==

Compy may have banned you before you read this message I sent you when you evaded ban last time:

You were banned for breaking the rule about sperging and for being disruptive.

{{quote|Keep your sperging for a minimum - if you have to sperg about Chris, try to minimize it and show some restraint.}}

You showed no restraint. There is nothing more spergy about going on about a topic without thinking whether it's relevant or not. You keep on bringing up your conspiracy theories about vaccines in any given thread and it's disruptive, it's derailing threads, it should be pretty clear why this is a bad thing.

Your initial ban was only for a week. If you accepted your ban like a man instead of ban evading like a pussy, I probably would have forgotten anything happened. But no, not only do you evade bans, you try and stir up support using sock puppets and that's a real pussy move. You were fairly banned, you don't fucking evade bans on my forum and get away with it.

That is final, nothing you can say or do will change my or any of the staff's mind on the matter. I will ban you every time you come on this forum, I don't care if I ban every IP range possible, you will not get away with it. I will even close membership to the forums if I have to if it means to stop you from posting.

If you want somewhere to talk about your theories, then I'd try /cwc/, see how far you get there (hint - you'll probably get banned there too). "Fair" is what I determine it is, I don't think it's "fair" that a fucker like you gets banned and gets around it and expects to be disruptive and get away with it. It's not my fault you're autistic and you don't understand self control and social norms. Furthermore, you have no "rights" here except those that I allow. This is a forum about mocking an autistic manchild, don't expect too much.

This is the final word. You cannot appeal this decision. And vandalizing the CWCki isn't going to help your case either. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:44, 16 October 2012 (PDT)

Thank you so much. [[User:EddySteel|EddySteel]] 00:04, 17 October 2012 (PDT)

User talk:Callitcwc

2012-10-07T09:08:08Z

EddySteel: break

User talk:Callitcwc

2012-10-07T09:07:19Z

EddySteel: miencrooft

User:EddySteel

2012-10-07T09:03:58Z

EddySteel: Created page with "{{Shirtbow|I AM TOO OBSESSED WITH CHRIS}} Mm... Yeah. {{LiquidChris}} {{AlecBensonLeary}} {{ClydeCash}} {{PS2}} {{Wii}} {{Atheist}} {{EDUser}} {{Britfag}} {{White}} {{Pedofork..."

{{Shirtbow|I AM TOO OBSESSED WITH CHRIS}}
Mm... Yeah.
{{LiquidChris}}
{{AlecBensonLeary}}
{{ClydeCash}}
{{PS2}}
{{Wii}}
{{Atheist}}
{{EDUser}}
{{Britfag}}
{{White}}
{{Pedofork}}
{{Straight}}