CWCki - User contributions [en]

100 2265

2026-07-31T08:12:35Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: the slogan had "all beef patties" in it and chris quoted it correctly in an email to jackie, so i will assume he's saying that

[[File:Robble.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's depiction]]

'''100 2265''' is a [[Random access humor|bizarre, nonsensical]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 3 [[October 2010]]. In it, we see Chris, clad in his female support garment and what appears to be some sort of black wrapping, babbling about hamburgers in an incoherent manner. He tries to imitate the fast-food icon [[wikipedia:Hamburglar|the Hamburglar]] by prancing around [[Chris's room|his room]] shouting "robble robble" in a nasally, high-pitched voice. Once again, Chris somehow manages to screw things up as his costume lacks several key elements, most notably, the Hamburglar's hat.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2265
| ytid = WD4rE6GrMNM
| stardate = 3 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Robble}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]
| next = [[100 2266]]
}}

{{quote|Robble, robble, robble!}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:RonaldWTF.png|thumb|Ronald would like to congratulate the CWCki's experts of video transcription... not that the transcription helped him much in this case.]]

''[Chris appears in his [[muscle bra]] with strips of black paper taped over his rotund figure. He has likewise taped over his eyes, to imitate the Hamburglar's mask]''

'eeyyyyyy FOLKS! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Some of the tape has fallen off, Chris adjusts it.]''

I'm Hamburglar here! Deep fat-frying [[For Julies Eyes Only|fat-ridin]]'(?) robber here! Robble, robble!

''[Chris points to a blurry, out-of-focus image of a Big Mac on his television]''

I'm gonna steal me that Big Mac there! Robble, robble, robble! It's so delicious! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Chris moves closer to the screen and begins gesturing at the image.]''

Oh, robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Two all beef patties! Robble, robble, robble, robble! [[Semen|Special Sauce]]! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Onions, [[pickle]]s, cheese! Robble, robble, robble, robble! All on a sesame seed bun! ''[Chris pronounces "bun" like "biyun" here.]'' Robble, robble, robble!

''[The image of the Big Mac briefly comes into focus.]''

MCDONAAAALD'S! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Robble, robble, robBLLLLLE!

==See also==
*[[McDonald's]]
*[[Obesity]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]|nextlink=[[100 2266]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-03]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-03]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-03]]
[[Category: Kodak camera videos| 2010-10-03]]
[[Category:Videos published to ChristianWChandler]]

ShecameforCWC.JPG

2026-07-31T07:18:19Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Epilogue */

{{Honest}}
{{quote|And by the way, that is not [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] whose eyes are censored; that is [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]!|[[Chris]]'s [[CWC's Second Message|second message]]}}

[[File:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|right|"Your sister has cum for me."]]

'''ShecameforCWC.JPG''' is a [[Rule 34]] picture that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] drew as part of a campaign to fight [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] by "replacing negativity with positivity."<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> It portrays Chris using his hand to stimulate a naked [[Megan Schroeder]]'s vagina to the point of orgasm (indicated by [[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirt lines]]) while he gives a thumbs-up. Arguably the most scandalous of all of [[Chris and art|Chris's artistic canon]], this single image managed to invoke much drama. It was the straw that permanently destroyed the already dying friendship between Chris and Megan, and the consequences of uploading it online have continued to face him for years afterward. In fact, it's entirely conceivable that the targeted effort to troll Chris may have simply faded away had he ''not'' edited the page repeatedly and uploaded this image to Encyclopedia Dramatica, thereby putting blood in the water for [[trolls]] for years to come.

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister Crystal, which was not helped by the initial caption that Chris provided. In order to defend his fictional sister's honor, Chris edited the article to confirm that it was in fact Megan.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March 2008.]]</ref> He also angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in the [[Madman Rising]] video, shouting that it was Megan, defeating the purpose of censoring her eyes to hide her identity. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to have an incestuous relationship with his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his only friend, with whom he had no romantic or sexual relationship (no matter how much he tried, anyway).

Megan was understandably disturbed when she figured out the truth behind the image. As it stands, she had made it perfectly clear to Chris that she had no romantic feelings for him and that she wanted to remain "just friends"; in the aftermath, she was so disgusted that she severed ties with Chris. Since the release of the picture, Chris has flip-flopped from taking responsibility for making the image to blaming the trolls and even blaming Megan herself, or some combination of these things.

==Background==
When Chris first discovered the ED page, he was disturbed by the number of images depicting his female characters (mostly [[Rosechu]]) with [[Pickle|penises]] on the site, along with general [[Homos|gay porn]] of his characters and himself. Chris then decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that Chris likes as a means of "replacing negativity with positivity." He thought that uploading pictures of his fictional characters fucking and a drawing of himself fingering his not-girlfriend would counteract the perceived homosexuality prevalent on the ED page.<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref>

He also ignorantly believed that spamming large edits on the page (what he referred to as an "information overload") would overwhelm the trolls and scare them into deleting it. On 11 November [[2007]], along with [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#11 November|adding large walls of text detailing his own personal life]], Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.JPG. Some of these pictures were duplicated on the page to further the "overload" plot. These were pornographic drawings of several romantic pairings from the comics, made for this exact purpose. The sole exception, of course, was with ShecameforCWC.JPG, which depicted real people. Chris wrote a relationship between himself and Megan in the comics as wish fulfillment, so we can assume Chris was imagining this from the very beginning. This is made even more likely when Chris admitted to Megan sometime after she discovered the picture that he probably would have sexually advanced on her had he not done the drawing.<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED]]</ref> This supposed need to suppress his sexual advances ironically hinted at [[Chris and sex#Incest|what was to come]] more than a decade later. All of the images that Chris posted were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC.JPG proved to be the most appalling, leaving [[trolls]] in total shock.

Ironically, these behaviors, compounded with Chris's apparent obliviousness as to why this picture hurt his friend, [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|among]] [[The GAMe PLACe|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|things]], only showcased his child-like view of the world, and just how easy he was to manipulate. Thus, it isn't hard to see why he became such an easy target to trolls in the following years to come – since it only took some perverted "fan" art to upset Chris, others got to thinking about what else could be done to push his buttons.

==Analysis==
[[File:ShecameforCWCanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomical analysis]]

This image is held in such regard for being a shining example of Chris's art style. The drawing showcases many major problems with Chris's artistic abilities:

*Chris clearly attempted to foreshorten Megan in this image, given how he draws her legs significantly longer and her head smaller than the rest of her body, but the lack of depth perception and proportion makes her look as flat as the paper she was drawn on.
*He also shows a complete [[Biology|unfamiliarity with human anatomy]]. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints, or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper. Many other glaring anatomical flaws in this picture deserve analyses of their own:
**The vagina is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that. There is also the fact that Chris didn't draw her a crotch, and instead placed her vagina directly on her perineum.
**The vagina in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirtin']]," but due to his own stupidity, he drew her "[[Wikipedia:Female ejaculate|cum]]" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of the Ages" effect shown in the picture. He also made the vaginal fluid blue, likely to shade it in. This not only further shows his ignorance, but it also shows his inability to stay consistent with his artstyle, as he did not attempt to shade in anything else in the picture.
**Megan's body lacks any curves whatsoever. As a result of this, [[pedofork|Megan looks significantly younger]].
**Chris is somehow reaching over his left shoulder with his right hand despite the fact that his right elbow remains near his side, creating an effect straight out of [[Wikipedia:M. C. Escher|M. C. Escher]]'s darkest nightmares. Due to the perspective of Chris's forearm, his forearm is either very floppy and bent backward towards Megan, or Chris's hand is actually nowhere near his partner's parts.
**Chris's right forearm is severely elongated in comparison to his left - If this version of Chris were to be viewed from the front, his right arm would probably hang low or even drag along the ground. His left thumb is also unrealistically large compared to the rest of his hand.
**Both of Megan's hands also appear to each have six fingers, two of which are haphazardly redrawn to look like nipples. As a result of this, Megan's right arm now looks like it's in a permanent [[Wikipedia:Vulcan salute|Vulcan salute]] from [[Captain's Log|Star Trek]].
**As a result of Chris' haphazard attempt to turn her fingers to nipples, Megan's nipples appear unnaturally pointy. Not to mention how they seem to point directly towards her face, and how her areolae are placed higher up on her breasts than they should be.
**Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a [[Wikipedia:Landing strip (pubic hair)|landing strip]], in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to [[Wikipedia:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s mustache (coincidentally, Megan had a fetish for [[Nazis|German soldiers]]). It is also quite far up on her body, and looks like some kind of messed-up [[Wikipedia:Abdominal hair|happy trail]] instead of pubic hair.
**Chris's head is deformed and oval-shaped, and his eyes appear to be set very far up his skull, being where most people's hairlines or eyebrows should be. This can be ascertained with the fact that Chris appears to have drawn himself hastily - Even in some of Chris's earlier artworks, he depicted himself with something resembling an actual jawline, but not here.
*The way Chris drew Megan's hands is a prime example of how Chris habitually does all of his drawings in one fell swoop without any planning or revisions. Megan's nipples looks at first to be extra fingers, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hands and decided to turn them into nipples. Chris also appeared to tacked on her thumbs directly afterward.
*Chris pays close attention to the parts that interest him, namely genitalia and breasts, yet had to squeeze in a tiny head, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face." He also shows clear attention to his [[Medallion of Fail]], his [[heterochromia]], etc.
*Note the retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "''She''came''for''CWC," emphasis added). The smug look he has on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal. He's also wearing his [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] medallion while fingering a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#My first time|Chris Sex Logs]]</ref>
*There is the fact that the girl in the drawing is his best and only friend, Megan, and he sees nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it's on the Internet where she (and millions of others) can see it.

==Drama==
[[File:MeganBrotherTroll.jpg|thumb|left|Megan reminisces about learning of the picture and explains Chris's mysterious caption.]]
===With ED===

When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Exactly what he meant here was long disputed, but it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that the picture represented ''Chris's'' sister, the fictional character Crystal (given the nature of [[Chris and art|Chris’s artwork]], any two females with long brown hair are easily mistaken for each other). "Your sister" suggests that the message is addressed to Megan's brother [[John Schroeder]], but why Chris would want to incorporate Megan's brother into his sexual fantasies is anyone's guess. Megan would one day shed light on this by explaining that Chris's caption was, indeed, directed at her brother because he believed at the time that John was the mastermind behind the trolling campaign on ED.

Over the next few months, the image was removed and replaced a few times over the course of Chris's simmering edit war against ED. It didn’t become a serious hot potato until [[March 2008]], however, when Megan discovered the picture and learned that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself, [[List of Chris's lies|but not before first attempting to lie to her about how it was a picture of Crystal]].) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page, which naturally was an unsuccessful effort.

Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. Amazingly, he even tried to replace the image with a [[:File:TomTomCloseup.jpg|cropped version]] which just involved the vagina, as though Megan were only angry about her and Chris's facial features being depicted and would be satisfied if the image just showed his hand disappearing up her radiant quim. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption — as well as several other captions around the article — to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal, to at least protect his own honor by indicating that he was not into [[Chris and sex#Incest|committing incest]] ([[Affair with Mother|at least not yet]]), even if, in the process, he was demonstrably perfectly okay with drawing pornography of a friend who did not reciprocate any romantic feelings that he had. Over the next few days, he made a number of other [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page with a series of images and captions]], in an attempt to further barter with the trolls, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

===With Megan===
[[File:MeganGoodEnding.jpeg|thumb|Chris providing Megan with a real gift.]]
By 12 March 2008, Megan had discovered the full extent of what Chris had written and drawn about her around the Internet, particularly the fact that she'd starred in his cartoon fantasy porn. While failing to get the image off the ED page over the next several days, Chris sent her a series of messages trying to put out the fire.

Some of his attempts to "explain" the image to Megan are downright bizarre. It's hard to do justice to the [[Megan_Emails, 2008#Chris_apologizes_for_something.2C_what_could_it_be.3F|original e-mails]]. At one point, he seemed to think Megan was offended because she didn't understand the action on display, and went off on a frighteningly awkward explanation of what a handjob is. In another e-mail, Chris confirmed the suspicion of many trolls — that he had entertained thoughts of sexually assaulting Megan.

{{quote|If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac...|Chris, [[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|e-mail to Megan, 18 March 2008]]}}

Generally, Chris's "apologies" are a classic display of his insensitivity and [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]] in action. He shows little [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] for creating and publishing the image while offering plenty of woe-is-me whining about the ED bullies. In a message from 18 March, he actually had the gall to tell Megan that no matter how bad she might be feeling, he himself has definitely got it worse.

After sending several messages and receiving little in the way of a response from Megan, Chris appeared to have given up on winning back her trust, which coincided with the slackening of his campaign to remove the image from ED and the increasingly self-hating tone of his edits there. On 23 March, Megan finally sent him two brief replies to the effect of "leave me alone." Those mark the end of the active drama over the image. Chris stopped editing ED around the same time.

As a coda to the fiasco, Chris tried once more to repair his relationship with Megan about a month later, sending a message with a mix of everyday news and creepy stalkerish longing. Given some time to consider the implications of his earlier messages, especially the parts where he brought up the prospect of raping her, Megan slammed the door shut, saying "I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore." This remains their last known communication.

It is debatable how dramatic was the effect of ShecameforCWC on Chris's relationship with Megan. While it is beyond dispute that Megan severed all contact with Chris due to said image, it might be that she was already trying to avoid his presence prior to discovering he had drawn cartoon porn of her.

[[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]'s account of Chris's time at the [[The GAMe PLACe]] indicates that Megan was avoiding Chris before finding out about ShecameforCWC. According to Mimms "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after the drawings of her got leaked''' [emphasis added]."<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post]]</ref> It's not exactly clear if by "leaked" Mimms refers to the drawing being uploaded online, the drawing being found by Megan or something else. Regardless, in the rest of their discussion of Megan, Mimms and Lucas make no mentions of ShecameforCWC and seem to exclusively attribute Megan's withdrawal from Chris to his unwanted romantic advances.<ref>[[The GAMe PLACe#Chris and Megan]]</ref>

==Epilogue==
{{quote|It was Wishful Thinking.|Chris, describing his motive for drawing ShecameforCWC, [[Mailbag 15#ShecameforCWC.jpg finally explained|Mailbag 15]]'s [[Rejected Mailbag]]}}

[[File:Christine Weston Chandler’s Lot Of 32 Porn Drawings 01.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The pieces of ShecameforCWC.]]

Chris's [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the fact he needed "sexy images."<ref>[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]</ref> The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame. The original drawing itself was said to be ripped up and stored in the [[Crumple-Lope]].<ref>[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]</ref> Chris's [[Scrapbook of Fail|scrapbook]] with the Crumple-Lope inside surprisingly survived the [[2014 house fire]].

Years later, the consequences of drawing ShecameforCWC are still being felt by Chris. In an e-mail sent to [[Thetan]] around October 2013 by a former high school [[gal-pal]] of Chris's, the gal-pal revealed that she was so sickened and repulsed by the imagery (in particular, Chris's "thumbs up" gesture) that she had no desire to ever speak to Chris again, and noted that she was not the only one of Chris's former high school classmates who felt that way.<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Reality Comes Knocking]]</ref>

On 4 November 2013, Chris put out a statement saying he regretted drawing ShecameforCWC.jpg, stating that he destroyed the original drawing and "do[es] not possess any image files of the thing." He also stated he forgave Megan, Snyder, and Walsh.<ref>[[November 2013 Facebook Posts#That Dang Drawing]]</ref>

Prompted by reading a fancomic about him, in which a scene is devoted to Megan's reaction to ShecameforCWC, Chris commented:

{{quote|How Could they have been mutual after that, Period?! And now, despite the Original Piece being Totally Torn apart, it still reappears to haunt me. When will that symbol of my sin of lust be long forgotten? Soon, I pray. I continue to Repent.|Chris, January 2018<ref>[[January 2018 tweets]]</ref>}}

[[File:CWC MAGfest panel audience2.jpg|thumb|right|200px|ShecameforCWC being discussed at the CWC panel at [[MAGfest]].]]

Due to the [[Financhu Crisis]], Chris offered ShecameforCWC and other porn artwork for sale for $1,000 in April 2018 on [[eBay]], where the set quickly sold the next day to the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. Chris just chopped the drawing up into little squares it could easily be reassembled from, rather than truly destroying it. This, combined with Chris wanting to make money off of it, casts yet more doubt over Chris feeling any sort of remorse from drawing it.

{{quote|[My] real reason for drawing that Came piece was out of frustration [I] was subconsciously feeling from Megan continually playing [me] on and on and making [me] spend money for Megan.|Chris, September 2020, blaming Megan for his porn drawing<ref name=meganobsession>[[The Place chats - Megan Obsession]]</ref>}}

In a [[September 2020]] chat with [[The Place]], Chris claimed that his classic excuse of having drawn ShecameforCWC out of "wishful thinking" was only "partly true", then proclaimed that the real reason was out of anger at Megan for her habit of asking him to buy stuff on her behalf from eBay (usually in exchange for trading items such as manga).<ref name=meganobsession></ref> Chris also highlighted his anger at having traded a Zune music player to Megan, which suggests he believes that Megan's dignity was worth at least the price of a Zune. Chris's blaming of Megan for both his own simp behavior and his decision to draw porn of her again cements his lack of genuine remorse over ShecameforCWC.

==See also==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] - Chris graduates from a handjob to an all-out rockstar orgy. His drawing style hasn't improved.

==Sources==
<references />

{{MeganSaga}}
{{articleofthenow}}

[[Category:2007]]
[[Category:Rule 34]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]

Chris and drugs

2026-07-31T06:55:35Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: probably would be better to have the health notice instead of having that in a protip

{{Needs Updating|[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]|[[The Place chats (October 2019)#Healing power]]}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
{{Protip|Commentary on possible side effects from any medication or recreational drug (cognitive, sexual, or otherwise) is purely speculative, based on commonly reported, listed, and/or studied side effects.}}

{{quote|The despicable mention of rude words and... D-R-U-G-S.|[[Song of Christian]]}}

A '''drug''' is any substance, other than food, that changes an [[Chris|organism]]'s physiology or psychology when consumed.

Much like [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|shoving things up his ass]], recreational drugs were something that Chris used to preach against, until he eventually tried alcohol and discovered he loved the somewhat pleasant effect. As of 2021, Chris has consumed caffeine, cannabis, and alcohol. He has yet to smoke a cigarette or try any hard drugs such as cocaine. Chris has also been on a litany of prescription and over-the-counter drugs to treat his various ailments.

==Psychiatric medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less common, though this medication is also commonly prescribed for bedwetting.

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his stress and anger issues. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he had switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his 11th call with [[Kacey]], Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, Chris was still taking the same medication, and any improvement was the result of either a lower dose or a placebo.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; SSRIs in general have the effect of weakening the libido, though this is not universal. Still, it might explain why it took him around 20 minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[Julie]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Studies differ on whether Paxil causes long-term cognitive impairment, confusion, and memory loss, with some suggesting a positive effect, and others suggesting that its ''anticholinergic'' nature makes it worse than other SSRIs, arguably contributing to dementia by blocking a key neurotransmitter (acetylcholine). Other anticholinergic drugs include Benadryl and Cogentin. Many patients anecdotally report a loss of autobiographical memory or concentration, and impaired judgement (to the point where some patients have slowed reaction time when driving) is a very common side effect as well.

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for [[Obesity|substantial weight gain]], which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and [[biological clock|sedentary lifestyle]].

At some point in the late 2010s, Chris stopped Paroxetine and started Fluoxetine (Prozac), which has weaker anticholinergic effects, considered insignificant. Still, PSSD (post-SSRI sexual dysfunction) is a relatively common side effect, as is impaired judgment and cognitive impairment in some patients. (Brain fog isn't universal on these meds, though.) Chris brought up his new meds role-playing as Magi-Chan, speaking in the third person, while also saying that Barb suggested the switch.<ref>[[The Place chats - Jacob Sockness#Defending Sockness, stress, and CALM supplements]]</ref>

In [[November 2025]], Chris claimed to have "stopped taking fluoxetine about a year ago".<ref>[[November_2025_social_media_posts#Thought_piece]]</ref> He also blamed his SSRI meds for a lack of focus emotionally and suggested others trash their SSRI meds. He also claimed to have first been prescribed the medication at age 7 for anxiety.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#NoToPaxil]]</ref>

Chris has also mentioned taking the prescription drug propranolol (Inderal), which is commonly prescribed for high blood pressure, anxiety, and (more controversially) at higher doses to intentionally weaken the memories of people with PTSD. However, Inderal can also improve focus and concentration in some people. It is unknown whether he is still taking it, or why he was prescribed it.<ref name=placesept>[[The Place chats (September_2020)#Blood Pressure Spikes]]</ref>

It is unknown whether Chris is still taking any psych meds at all after stopping Prozac, whether he's still taking the Inderal, or whether at any point he has been prescribed ''antipsychotics.'' Some have suggested he was given antipsychotics, noting the stereotypical motion side effects, sedation, etc., and the fact that Chris mentioned that "too much serotonin" is a problem may hint at Chris taking a ''second-generation antipsychotic'' instead of Fluoxetine (SGA's notably block serotonin receptors. Risperidone blocks one variety of them permanently.) Despite the name, antipsychotics are prescribed for a variety of reasons besides psychosis, with some shrinks controversially using them for autism and mild cases of bipolar disorder.

==Prescriptions for other ailments==
{{Main|Chris and health}}

For the majority of his life, Chris has had cholesterol problems. To combat this, instead of eating healthier and getting exercise, Chris eats junk food and exercises ''very'' occasionally while taking Lipitor, a cholesterol-lowering drug. While Lipitor and similar drugs can have a positive effect in lowering the cholesterol levels of those taking them, if one doesn't change their lifestyle as well there will be little change in the cholesterol level. Chris, having taken Lipitor since at least [[August 2009]], has had some improvement with his cholesterol levels; he got a score of 140 mg/ml, which, while not low, is not high either. Since Chris is very unfit, it's likely that Lipitor seems to be doing a decent job.

According to [[Ivy]], Chris requested a pill to cure his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|incontinence]] when his doctor recommended improvements to his diet and regular exercise<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref>. While Chris has been on medications before (and at least takes them when prescribed), he appears to have thought medicine is a one-and-done antidote without any further effort on his part required.

It's worth noting that - as [[Kacey]] and [[Father Call|her dad]] pointed out - he started taking the drug in his twenties, when it and other statins are really meant for people above age 40, and are only recommended for younger patients when the risk of early cardiovascular disease is that high. Studies differ on whether the effect on myelination or synaptogenesis is relevant for humans at normal doses, or whether these medications impair memory, leave it alone, or possibly improve it.

In 2020, Chris brought up using a different statin, Pravastatin. He is also on Omeprazole (Prilosec), which has notable side effects including permanent damage to proton pumps in areas outside of the stomach, including the ones in neurons that generate electricity in the brain!!<ref name=placesept></ref>

Chris also takes a drug to combat high blood pressure, likely a blood thinner concerning his high-fat diet. It is known that Chris also takes antibiotics for UTIs.

==Hormone replacement therapy==
Ever since [[May 2015]], Chris has been taking various forms of [[wikipedia:Transgender hormone therapy|Hormone replacement therapy]], or HRT, to successfully [[Transgender|transition]].

===Oestrogel===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]

Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones.

Unfortunately, Chris did the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#House Cleaning]]</ref> Oestrogel has health risks, such as fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (potentially disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#House Cleaning]]</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill, but failed to connect the dots and think that it could be caused by taking overdoses of a black-market drug without a physician's approval.

While observers have noted that the medication wasn't officially intended for trans women, all HRT is in fact "off-label" for this purpose by FDA standards.

===Proper HRT===
At some point in Fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT. In his [[CopperCab|interview with CopperCab]], Chris mentions he takes the testosterone blocker spironolactone, which he nicknames "[[Spyro the Dragon]]", and estradiol to assist in transitioning.

Chris revealed in his [[March 2024]] [[March_2024_livestreams#Christ Chan Live Stream: YouTube Video Watching|Livestream]] that he has been taking "Estradiol" and "spironolactone" (Aldactone), for "years".<ref>[[March 2024 livestreams#Highlights]]</ref>

==Alcohol==
[[Image:Sonichurosey.png|thumb|Ever since getting married to [[Rosechu]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] finds that Reeb helps dull the pain.]]

===Background===
[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Finally Loosened up and flew to Long Island June 12, 2009. '''Keep It Responsible'''; ONLY One in a day, or 7 or less in all in a week. ''(Quote from [[CWCipedia]])'']]

Like many things in his life, Chris has drastically changed his feelings about intoxicating beverages over the years. Chris once described alcohol as a "slow-acting poison" in his [[FUTURE MESSAGE]] video. He also touched on the subject during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], where in line 309, he mentioned that he would not go to a singles bar because of it (and cigarettes). When asked about alcohol in [[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]], he stated that it "causes [[Chris and health|liver dysfunction]] and likely [[Chris and anger|bar fights]] and [[6 June 2010|automobile accidents]]".

Chris delivered a particularly effusive tirade in one of his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]:

{{quote|ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY SMOKE AND DRINK, don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO DEATH WITH CANCER, LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND GROSS AND DISGUSTING!|Chris, to Reggie, early in 2009.}}

===Discovery and use===
Despite his initial feelings about alcohol, a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] [[Chris's Big Night Out|video]] of Chris drinking a [[Long Island Iced Tea]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 12 [[June 2009]], showing us signs that perhaps Chris is willing to throw all his principles out the window when the chance to impress a female arises. That type of cocktail isn't recommended for novice drinkers, due to having a rather strong amount of alcoholic ingredients like vodka, triple sec, rum, tequila, and gin. If he didn't choose to drink it based on it being referenced in ''[[The Simpsons]]'', it's possible Chris did so because [[Autism|he assumed, due to its name, that it was literally just iced tea]] with some alcohol mixed in.

Alcohol was mentioned briefly in a video shortly after, titled [[I'm Sorry, Dude]]. In this video, Chris makes an offer to treat Logan to drinks as opposed to his past offers of "coffee or soda" to those whom he wanted to get to know. Alcohol was briefly revisited on camera in [[Chris's Big Night Out II]], where Chris was seen drinking. Chris's first recorded video where he appeared visibly intoxicated was [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]. Alcohol began a slow and steady progression into Chris's life; this was made obvious in an email to [[Regina]], where he said ''"I've also tasted Mike's Hard Lemonade, Budwiser [sic], Miller, Micolobe ''[Michelob]'', Samual Adams and a couple of others. And I look forward to sampling more varities of liqour."''

Budweiser is apparently his brand of choice, based on eyewitness reports from [[Fridays After Five]] and his account of a trip to a bar prior to visiting [[the GAMe PLACe]] on [[6 June 2010]]. Meanwhile, a [[100 2281|video]] from mid-[[October 2010]] showed Chris slugging Kahlúa straight from the bottle, although he didn't seem to enjoy it too much.

When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 6#Sonichu and drinking|Mailbag 6]] challenged him regarding his shift in attitude, Chris replied, "I discourage underage drinking fully; I wanted to try it once for myself."

In [[Mailbag 16#Alcoholism|Mailbag 16]], from [[December 2009]], he described his drinking habits in more detail, "I am more of a Social Drinker; I generally do NOT spend a weekly amount on drinks; I only drink at like a party or with a friend on rare occasions [sic]." This remark was met with some skepticism from [[trolls]], since Chris has no friends, much less any who would invite him to parties.

Even after discarding his original hard-line attitude, though, Chris still found opportunities to get a little preachy regarding the demon liquor. In [[Mailbag 33#Chris and the census|Mailbag 33]], from early [[January 2010]], he remarked, "And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, unresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents." He also, in [[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]], advanced the bizarre theory that drinking while pregnant "CAN PROVOKE [[homos]]exuality in the child."

In [[6 June 2010]], Chris revealed that he had been drinking at a bar before driving to the [[The GAMe PLACe]] and getting into a confrontation with a [[manajerks|manajerk]].

Alcohol may be contributing to Chris's declining health. Since his decision to leave the Internet and instead seek real-life interaction, Chris has revealed to us that he spent most of his day sitting in bars and playing on his Nintendo DSi. While he once claimed to be a "Social Drinker", it is becoming quite obvious that he is anything but. Chris's childlike perception of the world is most likely deafening his awareness of the substance's advancement of relevance in his life. At this point, he may be turning to alcohol for [[Chris and escapism|escapism]]. Also, alcoholism has been proven to be a telltale sign of {{w|Peter Pan syndrome}}, which clearly applies to Chris. In addition, Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary but it may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Chris and death|problems]] in the near future.

It is obvious that with Chris's current loneliness and depression, his alcohol use may yield repercussions in his life - and it did. In [[July 2016]], Chris, while thought to have been drunk and depressed over lack of progress on his gender transition, [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced open his taint with a knife]] to simulate the opening of a vagina.

Alcohol made another appearance in the [[Cherokean Chant]] performance, in which Chris states he had five swigs of vodka.

The [[Teen Troon Squad]], aged 18/19, tried to get Chris to buy them Reeb in 2018.

In 2021, [[enabler]] [[KwaiiSandbag]] revealed that Chris had told him in messages that he would drink heavily once every few weeks.<ref>[[KwaiiSandbag calls#Chris's Drinking and Smoking Habits]]</ref> Even with known accounts of Chris's past alcohol use, this news was surprising and concerning.

The [[Jail Letter Gifts|Holy Labels]] which Chris has been sending to fans from [[jail]] are expressly intended to be used for drinking non-alcoholic beverages. This is a strange inversion of the Christian rite of [[wikipedia:Eucharist|Holy Communion]], which most Christian denominations celebrate using wine (although some Protestant denominations use non-alcoholic grape juice).

===Chandler family and alcohol===

It is interesting to note that [[Cole Smithey]] mentions that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|met at a bar and acted like a couple of drunken losers]]. The Chandlers' pre-[[fire]] family room had memorabilia from various brewing companies including [[wikipedia:P. Ballantine and Sons Brewing Company|Ballantine]] and [[wikipedia:Bass Brewery|Bass]], indicating that Chris's parents never shared his initial antipathy to alcohol even in their old age.<ref>[[:File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg]]</ref>

Chris's family line has a history with alcohol. Chris's maternal great-grandfather, Robert Pettis Wynn, "drank heavily and had a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]] during the time he was married. Family stories say [[Father Call|he failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children]] ...there are others who say he was a moonshiner."<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20091212074813/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref>

===In the comic===
[[Image:RealReeb.jpg|thumb|The official drink of [[Kick the Autistic]].]]
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|left|A worker at [[4-cent_garbage.com]] downing a relaxing can of Reeb.]]

In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris refers to beer in all instances as "Reeb" which is just "Beer" spelled backwards. He probably thought this little emordnilap very clever.

At first glance, this seems odd, until you realize Chris was under the impression that Sonichu was targeted towards children (despite the graphic sex scene in issue 8, and frequent depictions of violent death), and so, he feels he must censor any mention of alcohol in the comic. This is a common theme in English-translated [[anime]] shows such as ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', particularly those aimed at a younger audience.

Possessing or drinking alcohol was also one of the worst crimes to commit in [[CWCville]], and could have led to a $1,500 fine or ten years in prison<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> (the fact that Chris thinks that ten years in prison and a $1,500 fine are interchangeable is indicative of his broader attitude towards [[Chris and money|money]]). It is also interesting to note that this punishment is much more lenient than the CWCville penalty for [[homos|homosexuality]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|Mailbag 31]]</ref> And you thought Chris was intolerant.

Chris later said in his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video that the prohibition had since been repealed.

"Reeb" is the drink of choice for the drunkards working at [[4-cent_garbage.com]]. It should also be noted that there really is a drink called Reeb; it's a Chinese beer produced in Shanghai, though it's doubtful that Chris knew about it.
{{clear}}

==Tobacco==
[[File:100 0695.JPG|thumb|"NO SMOKING" and "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]", two of Chris's [[Cherokee|war cries]].]]
[[File:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|thumb|Authentic CWC ashtray, perfect for launching at the Moon.]]
{{Quote|And smoking will eventually cause cancer, and it will—you'll be more likely to get [[Obesity|heart attacks]], [[14 Branchland Court|viruses]], and your life will be cut drastically short. They don't call cigarettes and cigars "[[Star Wars|death sticks]]" for nothing, other than killing you slowly. If I could, I would take every last ounce of tobacky, put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to [[the Moon]].|[[Chris]]<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref>}}

'''Tobacco''', called '''tobacky''' by Chris, is a recreational drug derived from ''Nicotiana'' plants. If Chris could, he would send every last ounce of tobacky on a rocket to [[the Moon]].

One of the prerequisites for a [[sweetheart]] that Chris has never veered from is that she be "smoke-free".<ref>[[OkCupid]]</ref><ref>[[Dating profiles]]</ref><ref>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

Given his flip-flopping regarding his hatred of [[alcohol]], it is uncertain whether Chris has ever smoked, although he did pretend to smoke a "peace pipe" for [[Jackie]].<ref>[[Wigwam]]</ref>

===Chris on tobacky===
[[Image:CastleWily.png‎|thumb|The Tobacky Factory from Chris's nightmares.]]

In his famous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]] of 24 February [[2007]], Chris expressed his wish for all tobacky to be shot to the Moon.

In an [[ED]] edit from 10 November [[2007]] regarding a comment about [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris said he was uncomfortable saying the word "tobacco".<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

Chris's tobacky rocket plan was elaborated on in [[January 2009]]:
{{quote|I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then [[Honor roll|the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well]].|Chris<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>}}

Chris has also related a [[dreams|dream]] he once had regarding the risks posed by tobacco consumption:
{{Quote|I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, [[Nazis|going through BURNING OVENS]], coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.|Chris's cigarette nightmare<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref>}}

Chris has stated that tobacco and alcohol importation is the most severe crime in [[CWCville]] and warrants "ten years [imprisonment] or fifteen hundred dollar fine".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]]</ref> In short, importing cigarettes is worse than [[rape]], [[Sonichu (character)|theft]], [[Death threats|murder]], or even being a [[homos|homo]] in [[CWCville]].

Ironically, one of Chris's own ancestors was a tobacco farmer, according to his death certificate.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/238604751/robert-pettis-wynn</ref>

==Cannabis==
[[File:PsychadelicChris.jpg|thumb|This is your mind on Cannabis.]]
Chris seemed to have an even stronger hatred for [[Wikipedia:Cannabis (drug)|cannabis]] (marijuana, pot, weed, etc.), despite it being hailed as a possible [[autism]] treatment.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20100504115332/http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/autism-treatment-marijuana-madness-8763721</ref> This is evidenced by the fact that, in CWCville, cigarette smokers are only given a US$1,500 fine, but those who simply possess weed are taken to a maximum security prison, the same place CWCville detains [[Mary Lee Walsh|terrorist leaders]], as was the fate of [[Kathleen]] in the [[Book10Replacement]].

Interestingly, the Jamaican war veteran [[Inos]] from the original [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] somehow managed to escape this sentence, instead being forced into a soup hotel by [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Dialogue indicates it was because Sonichu believed he was actually smoking tobacco, despite him being high as a kite, unintentionally revealing that Chris may believe tobacco and cannabis to be interchangeable. The fact that "wacky '''tobacky'''" was used as a name for cannabis back in the [[Bob Chandler|1940s and 50s]] further adds weight to this theory.

In true [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris hypocritical fashion]], it was revealed by [[Kim]] on [[Facebook]] that in [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#.22I.27m_not_on_drugs.21.22|July 2016]] Chris had tried smoking cannabis at [[OmegaCon]], and he was offered it at [[Impulse Gay Social Club|Impulse]] as well.

Chris confirmed that he did try weed a couple of times in a [[Twitter]] comment.

{{quote|Thanks; not totally my thing, that kind of high. The couple of times aside.|Chris.<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Much love for MAGfest fans]]</ref>}}

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guy]], Chris changed Sonichu's official birthday to 20 April, or "4/20", often celebrated as a stoner holiday. However, given the Idea Guy's [[Idea Guy#Nazi CWCville|apparent]] [[Smashing|obsession with]] [[Nazis]] and other offensive topics, this could also be a reference to the birthday of Adolf Hitler, or the date of the 1999 {{w|Columbine High School massacre}}.

In [[2018]], Chris smoked pot with the [[Teen Troon Squad]], hanging out at their house to partake.

[[Virginia]] legalized weed at the state level in [[July 2021]], making it the first Southern state to do so. However, Chris spent the month hooked on a [[Affair with Mother|different vice]] which is still very much [[Jail Saga|illegal]].

==Caffeine==
Being an avid Coca-Cola drinker (as proven by the many [[My Coke Rewards]] points he earned), Chris is no stranger to caffeine consumption (though he curiously denied using caffeine in the [[autism papers]]). His heavy soda consumption is likely to blame for his distorted [[biological clock|sleep patterns]], something Chris himself has corroborated:

{{quote|YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from Coca-Cola to Pepsi to Powerade. I have a lot of stored caffeene [sic] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking [[biological clock]] as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty.|Chris.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]], 11 November 2007</ref>}}

Notably, the [[2014 house fire]] started after Chris tried to brew coffee in the bathroom early in the morning, causing a frayed extension cord to spark and set the house on fire.

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Things Chris once hated but now likes]]

Template:Did you know

2026-07-31T02:56:02Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{#switch: {{{1|{{#expr:{{#time:s}} mod 22}}}}}
|0=
*... that [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|Chris had unintentionally rickrolled the internet with his song for]] [[PandaHalo]]?
*... that [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|this webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL]]?
*... that Chris got [[Polyamorous marriage|married]]... [[Magi-Chan|to]] [[Cryzel Rosechu|five]] [[Mewtwo|of]] [[Sylvana|his]] [[imaginary friends]] [[Helena Fiorenza#Pickchu|and an enabler-made OC]]?
*... that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*... that a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*... that [[Misc E-mails#Uri Geller Emails|Uri Geller]], a famed magician, tried to give Chris a reality check when he sought psychic training?
*... that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself]]?
*... that Chris once attended a [[Chris and mental healthcare#Relationship Management Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] wanted Chris to [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
**... and that Chris was working on it!?
*... that Chris did not discover [[Mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
|1=
*... that Chris has performed [[Dick Licker; that is I|oral sex on Magi-Chan]]?
*... that [[BlueSpike]] was the [[weens|ween]] in the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4mkAw9Be-k JULAAAAAAAY call]?
*... that [[JenkinsJinkies]] is definitely '''NOT''' Chris?
*... that Chris was no longer [[So Need a Cute Girl|stuck as a]] [[virgin with rage]] after [[Mia Hamm|hiring a prostitute]]?
*... that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*... that Chris has committed [[28 October 2011|assault and battery]] against [[Michael Snyder]] and [[26 December 2014|illegally pepper sprayed]] the [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]?
*... that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child with his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]?
*... that Chris attempted to fix [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]], and somehow made it make less sense?
*... that <s>[[Chris]]</s> <s>[[BILLY MAYS]]</s> <s>[[Allison Amber]]</s> <s>[[Brendan Fraser]]</s> <s>[[Mary Lee Walsh]]</s> [[January_2026_social_media_posts#Mayor_of_CWCville|Robbie Van Drawson]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*... that the [[Idea Guys]] [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] Chris into believing that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|his imaginary daughter Crystal]] would be brought into the world by [[:File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|Chris anally raping Sonichu]]?
**... and that Chris has once fisted Sonichu as a punishment?
*... that Chris is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#Edit details|blood, tears and semenal descent?]]
|2=
*... that Chris was accused by [[trolls]] of killing [[BILLY MAYS]] because he took Chris' spot as Mayor of CWCville?
*... that the [[Dimensional Merge]] will bring fictional characters and [[imaginary friends]] into reality?
**... and that the new [[dimension]] will be named 1C-211987, a mashup of our current dimension 1218 and Chris's fantasy dimension C-197?
*... that Chris is [[JenkinsJinkies|as wild as a serial raper]]?
**... and that Chris tried to scare us with a ghost dog story?
**... and that Chris tried to disguise himself as a troll?
*... that the [[trolls]] may have [[2012 Poster campaign|hired a skywriter]]?
*... that Chris believes that [[CWCville]] is real?
*... that Chris, [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|in his own words]], buys "[[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[List of toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*... that Chris once tried to get [[Nowacking|a MLP fandom voice actor]] to unblock him on [[Twitter]] by [[BronyCon 2018#Nowacking rejection|gifting a toy and a drawing]]?
|3=
*... that Chris can put his [[January 2020 social media posts#Magic Bottle|energy into crystals]] and drink that same energy to rejuvenate himself, thus creating energy in the process?
*... that Chris believes that ''{{w|Who Framed Roger Rabbit}}'' is [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|an accurate depiction]] of [[Chris and reality|reality]]?
**... and that in the days before [[Meditation#Astral projection|Astral projection]], a dance mat in his room was [[CWCville#Geography and location|one way]] to reach CWCville?
*... that Chris’s [[BronyCon 2017#Dancing with Magi-Chan|dance partner]] in BronyCon 2017 was also an imaginary friend?
*... that Chris’s investment strategy is to [[Chris and money#Lottery|stake $8 on the lottery]] every week?
*... that despite initially despising it, ''[[My Little Pony|Equestria Girls]]'' is ranked #2 in Chris's [[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Top Movies List|Top Movies List on Facebook]]?
*... that Chris once had a strong disdain for the ''[[Harry Potter]]'' franchise [[Chris and brand loyalty|due to a perceived rivalry with]] the ''[[Pokémon]]'' franchise?
*... that Chris believes that [[The Simpsons|Lisa Simpson]] will be the President of the United States after the [[Dimensional Merge]]?
**... and that [[November 2020 social media posts#.23LisaSimpson2020|Chris seemingly voted for Lisa Simpson in the 2020 Election]], despite previously endorsing [[Joe Biden]]'s presidential campaign?
*... that [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]], even though Chris now identifies as [[transgender]] and isn't actively growing facial hair?
**... that Chris later did grow a beard in [[Jail Saga|jail]] after being forbidden from accessing sharp implements?
|4=
*... that Chris spent a lot of time in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]], in spite of a traumatic experience with [[Abusive babysitter|a babysitter locking him in there]]?
*... that YouTuber [[Geno Samuel]] has [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History|a documentary series on Chris]] that is 85 episodes long, and still going?
**... and that Chris [[Geno Samuel DMs|has DMed him]] after seeing the series?
*... that Chris believes that he could influence the international company Hasbro to [[My Little Pony Protests|cancel a ''My Little Pony'' reboot]] because he told them that the characters didn't like being in it?
*... that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
*... that Chris recycled his own [[semen]] by drinking it?
**... and that Chris believed that drinking Fanta before cumming would give his semen the same taste?
**... and that Chris [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta: Semen Flavor|mixed semen with Fanta]]?
*... that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*... that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris called his [[Chandler Family Tree|family]] a bunch of pack rats?
*... that Chris has said [[Niggos]] only once, but has used [[Chris and race|the actual N-word]] multiple times?
**... That Chris was under the influence of [[trolls]] when he said those words?
* ... that Chris’s father's idea of kids games is [[Prank calls#Epic Crazy Lady calls Bob|Playing With Gutter Rats]] In the Sewer?
|5=
*... that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*... that Chris [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|stuck anal beads up his asshole]] but threw them away after using them because they were covered in shit?
*... that you should [[Believe in the OCs and Deities!|believe in the OCs]]?
*... that serial killer Ted Bundy was actually a framed [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] named [[Bundychu]]?
**... and that [[Bundychu]] is friends with [[Bob Chandler]]?
*... that despite being the [[Chris and his ego|so-called]] [[CPU]] of the Commodore systems, Chris [[naive|doesn't know]] how to turn a [[Commodore 64]] on?
*... that Chris stuck his [[duck]] in some [[Cwcsicle|snow]]?
*... that [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]?
*... that [[Alec Benson Leary]] imprisoned four [[Rosechu]]s in his [[Asperchu parodies#Basement Rosechus|basement]]?
*... that Chris drove [[Clyde Cash#Ryan|Ryan Cash]] to [[Chris and death#Suicide|suicide]] when he temporarily cancelled ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''?
*... that Chris has been to [[Finland]] on at least seven separate occasions?
**... and that Chris [[Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25|denies ever going to the country, despite photographic evidence]]?
|6=
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]?
*... that [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]?
*... that [[A-Logging|A-Log]] is Chris-Chan 2.0?
**... and that [[Michael J. Hirtes]] is A-Log 2.0 (and thus Chris-Chan 3.0)?
*... that Chris went to [[Impulse Gay Social Club|a gay bar]] on a few occasions?
*... that the [[United States of America|American]] government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit around the house doing little to nothing?
*... that [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|MLPG5 doesn't exist]] and G4 needs 5 more seasons?
*... that Chris [[Autism Awareness E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
*... that Chris [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|reinterpreted]] one of [[Lovely Weather|his characters]] when he believed that she had taken the form of [[Jessica Quinn|his newest sweetheart]]?
*... that Chris believed he cured his [[autism]] by listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]?
*... that [[Liquid Chris]] [[Kacey Call 11|has a nine inch]] [[Pickle|penis]]?
*... that Chris [[March 2024 social media posts#Bitches and Barbussy|needs no bitches]]?
|7=
*... that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*... that Chris believes he has [[Common Questions#26 January 2010|over a billion people]] in his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]?
*... that Chris wanted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*... that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*... that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*... that Chris is a [[Chris and stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the Law|imprisoned]] in lulz?
*... that Chris told [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] about his [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|masturbation]], but [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was not as open minded on the subject?
*... that Chris [[Self-inflicted taint wound|slashed his taint]] open as part of a DIY gender transition attempt?
*... that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*... that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|the pickle man]] [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|tricked Chris again]]?
*... that {{w|Andrew and James Dall Houses|the house in Cleveland}} that [[Ohio trip|Chris was tricked into visiting]] is listed on the National Register of Historic Places?
*... that #RussiaIsMLPG5; the fact that you acknowledge it puts a notch in the [[Russia|Soviet's belt]], which is not good?
|8=
*... that Chris considers the "[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*... that Chris describes World War II as [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|"a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!"]]?
*... that Chris's [[CWC Ancestry|23andMe DNA results]] indicate that he has no [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] ancestry, but is 1.3% [[Super Mario Bros.|Italian]]?
*... that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do a single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
*... that Chris [[Power|once knew a man from Nantucket]]?
*... that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*... that Chris is the [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris the Card Gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*... that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
**... and that Chris [[April 2013 Facebook posts#Leaving the Game Place behind|believed it too]]?
*... that Chris no longer lives at [[14 Branchland Court]] and instead lives in [[Lynchburg and Big Island, VA#Big Island|the house]] owned by [[Caden Peck]]?
|9=
*... that Chris [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|voided himself in terror in his sleep]] when he thought that [[Clyde Cash]] [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|was trying to kill him]]?
*... that [[Common Questions#31 December 2009|Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes]]?
*... that Chris thinks you're "[[10 September 2009|trolling stupid]]"?
*... that Chris once [[Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes|visited an abandoned sanatorium]] to leave an offering to the haunting spirits, only to have it removed by a [[Weening|ween]] mere hours later?
*... that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
**... and that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Stephanie Bustcakes|female prostitute]]?
*... that Chris thinks that those with [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true [[Autism|autistic]] people?
*... that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*... that Chris [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|once said that ''Pain'' is a fun game]], despite having no trophies for it on PSN?
*... that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*... that [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call#Transcript|Vivian's gonna rape Jack with the strapon because she's crazy?]]
|10=
*... that Chris hates the word "[[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
**... and that Chris has no idea what [[Naïve]] actually means?
*... that [[Bryan Bash]] sent [[Hooker incident|a handful of hookers to Chris' house]]?
*... that [[Jerkhief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
*... that Chris loves [[McDonald's]], while his [[dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*... that Chris's name used to be "Christopher", [[Christopher's name change|until a man in a bear suit misheard his name and called him "Christian"]]?
**... and that his [[Chris and Spanish|Spanish]] name is Ricardo?
**... and that his legal name is now [[Transgender|Christine]]?
*... that the [[Chris's Big Night Out#Grip 'n' Sip|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[Krapple|/cow/]]?
*... that [[Ivy]] was real?
*... that [[Flutter]]'s name [[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25|shall not be revealed]]?
|11=
*... that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
**... and that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*... that [[Brushfire Video|a male idiot tried to put out a fire]] while Chris just stood there and watched?
*... that [[Liquid Chris]]'s real name is [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]?
**... and that Solid Chris's name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]?
*... that [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] are actually mall security "in colors other than blue and black"?
*... that the ''[[Saw]]'' movies are some of [[Common Questions#31 December 2009|Chris's favorite movies]]?
*... that [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of [[Chris's birthday|age]], [[race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Chris and money|socio-economic]] [[Financhu Crisis|situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*... that [[Bob Chandler]] helped host the [[WTJU Marathon]] back in [[1990s#1990|1990]]?
*... that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent]]?
*... that [[OfficialCWCmart|Chris]] sells [[14 Branchland Court|driveway gravel]] for $15 a bag?
**... and that [[Ween|people]] actually buy it?
|12=
*... that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*... that Chris's failure is in defiance of genetics: his [[Bob Chandler|father]] was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[Sonichu the Animated Series|animated series]]?
*... that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*... that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''[[Seinfeld]]''?
*... that Chris originally was a [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#College Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at random) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
**... and that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
*... that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel the Witch]] isn't blonde with devil horns, she has grey hair and wears a horned helmet?
*... that Chris actually [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] Sonichu?
*... that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
**... and that he's overdue for it [[Son-Chu#Chevrolet Aveo|even in his newest car]]?
|13=
*... that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[Tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
**... and that [[Weed|weed]] is an instant life sentence in maximum security prison?
*... that Chris [[Imaginary friends|had a conversation with]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] while in a meeting with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]?
**... and that Chris fired a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] at Walsh [[Jackie Chat 5|in the same meeting]]?
**... and that this incident is what got him suspended from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]?
*... that Chris insulted a [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|mentally disabled]] fan?
*... that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
**... and that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
*... that Chris was hoping to celebrate his birthday and eat pancakes instead of attending his [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral the same day?
*... that Chris believes himself to be a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
**... and that Chris also believes [[Daniel Weston|one of his ancestors]] sailed aboard the ''Mayflower''?
*... that [[Keffals]] is an enabler of Chris at least since the [[Second Coming]]?

|14=
*... that Chris and [[Jacob Sockness]] aren't dating... yet?
*... that Chris believes that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC (27 December 2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*... that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Christian's Update 13 September 2008|real]]?
*... that Chris attempted to [[dox]] multiple people, while not realizing that just posting a list of Twitter handles isn't doxing?
*... that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*... that Chris has dreamed about [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|having sex with his mom]]?
**... and that Chris [[Affair with Mother|has been charged with having sex with his mom]]?
**... and Chris got those charges dismissed?
*... that Chris believes if ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G4 isn't renewed to Season 14, [[Akan]] will [[My Little Pony Protests|invade Equestria]] and eventually [[1218|our own universe]]?
**... and that [[My Little Pony: Make Your Mark|G5]] has caused World War III?
*... that [[Barb]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*... that Chris [[McIntire Park|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
*... that Chris is practically blacklisted from being mentioned on [[Wikipedia]]?
|15=
*... that even now, Chris does not think he is [[Obesity|fat]]?
*... that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*... that Chris loves to give [[CWC Blog#29 November 2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|a real date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*... that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
**... and that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dreams]]?
*... that Chris [[Chris lost Crystal|recorded himself screaming at a toilet]]?
*... that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*... that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*... that [[June 2015|Sega knows]] about [[Sonic Boom Protests|Chris's attempts]] to [[Keep Sonic Original|change Sonic's]] [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|arms back]]?
*... that Chris rates jail [[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)| a 2/5]]?
|16=
*... that [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]]?
**... and that [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]] serves as the spiritual successor to that band?
**... and that [[July 2021 social media posts#Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps concert|Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps]] is another spiritual successor to that band?
*... that Chris [[Homos|used to be a massive Homophobe]]?
**... and that Chris is now a proud member of the [[SLGBTQ]] community?
*... that Chris is a fan of [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCO1ITICo8MLHGAXR1uzFwjA OneyPlays], and [[OneyPlays Twitter Voice Clip|was amused by their impersonation of him]]?
*... that Chris spent nearly an entire year of his life [[Spirit possession|pretending to be possessed]] by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]?
*... that [[Ivy]] got Chris to watch ''[[Anime#The End of Evangelion|The End of Evangelion]]''?
*... that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Gal pal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
*... that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[Boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*... that [[BABSCon]] staff framed and displayed Chris's futile attempts for them to allow Chris to attend the event?
|17=
*... that Chris got tricked into [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|making a shout-out video]] dedicated to {{w|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|the Columbine shooters}}?
*... that ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' rocks?
*... that Chris was featured on {{w|Fox News}}?
*... that Chris completed a commission tied to the [[:File:July12Fundraiser1.jpg|Sneed's Feed and Seed]] joke from [[The Simpsons]]?
*... that [[CWCville]] is pronounced as "quick-ville"?
*... that Chris believes that lolcow and spree killer [[Randy Stair]] (AKA [[November 2020 social media posts#Dimensional merge stuff|Andrew]] [[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Has Randy Stair gotten more popular since his death?|Blaze]]) was aware of the [[Dimensional Merge]]?
*... that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] made a cameo in a {{w|Dodie (singer)|dodie}} music video?
*... that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music]]?
*... that Chris reenacted [[CopperCab]]'s [[Re-enactment - Gingers Have Souls|Gingers have Souls]] video?
*... that Chris [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|punched multiple holes in his wall]] to try to break through the [[Iron Curtain]]?
|18=
*... that the [[trolls]] behind the [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Kacey]] personas actually got married to each other in real life?
*... that Chris thinks that obscure box office flop ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'' is one of the greatest animated movies ever made?
*... that the [[My Little Pony|brony convention]] [[Everfree Northwest]] banned Chris after learning that [[Affair with Mother|he banged]] [[Barbara Chandler|his own mom]]?
**...and that [[BABSCon]] did the same thing in [[2024]] after Chris attempted to purchase tickets for the event?
*... that Chris has no idea what [[Autism]] really is?
*... that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck]], but never once in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]?
*... that when a Sonichu or Rosechu drives, they drive a [[Sonichu 11|Hybrid]]?
*... that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*... that Chris used a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] for the first time in nearly a decade [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|after breaking up with]] [[Jessica Quinn]]?
*... that someone hacked into Chris's [[YouTube]] account and uploaded excerpts of [[A-Logging|Anthony LoGatto's]] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"JULAAAY!"]] video [[Jail Saga|while he was in jail]]?
*... that infamous lolcow [[Ethan Ralph]] [[Jail Saga#Arrest|caught Chris's arrest on a livestream]] just to spite his former friend [[Null]]?
*... that Chris was originally going to voice the Grease Puddle in [[Chris in the media#Smiling Friends|Smiling Friends]]?
|19=
*... that Chris [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Celestia)|foresaw your letter long ago]]?
*... that Chris sends [[Holy Labels]] to people who send him letters to help them purify their drinks?
*... that Chris had an actual [[Fiona Cooper|True and Honest Sweetheart]] that got him arrested?
*... that Chris believes himself to be an incarnation of [[Chris and religion|Jesus of Nazareth]]?
*... that a group of trolls tried to [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|convert Chris to Islam]] in jail?
*... that Chris continues [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|his begging]] for hand-outs to [[debt|sustain the financial situation of 14BC]] even from behind bars?
**... and [[Barb]] hasn't gotten [[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021| a cent]]?
*... that the [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|Bible is ''The Simpsons'' and the Qur'an is ''Family Guy'']]?
*... that [[Son-Chu]] got totalled from Barb not giving right-of-way?
*... that Chris updated the Ten Commandments?
*... that Chris [[Jail Call - 1 November 2021|implied the trolling was worse]] than being [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pinned down by 5 teachers]] and [[Kick the autistic|having his screams recorded for their amusement]]?
|20=
*... that Chris [[November 2023 social media posts#Criticizing Kiwi Farms, "I am not a Lolcow"|denies being a lolcow]]?
*... that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] [[Jail Letter - 11 January 2022|is a reincarnation of Merlin the magician]]?
*... that Chris can [[Masturbation discussions|feel how sad and horny he is]] in his heart and solar plexus chakra?
*... that Chris [[Gruppenfuhrer Fegelein chat|admits]] [[Women's Rights]] didn't exist in [[CWCville]] until [[2017]]?
**... and that he blames it on the past Chris?
*... that Chris spent $6,267.09 on [[toys]] during the [[Financhu Crisis]], which [[Chris and money|could have paid off half the amount his creditors were suing him for]]?
*... that Chris's full name and description is [[Jail Letter - 4 January 2022|"Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles, and the nations of Old Comma and Cwcville, Guardian of the Sonichu & Rosechu Species, and Immortal avatar, Lord, Messiah, Savior, and God of all"]]?
*... that the [[COVID-19]] pandemic [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|was engineered]] by [[Jacob Sockness]]?
*... that [[Count Graduon]] is the embodiment of Chris's disappointment towards his high school graduation?
|21=
*... that [[Bob Chandler|Bob Chandler's]] ''alma mater'' is a Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering from Auburn University? (roll tide)
*... that Chris once compared [[Father Call|carrying your dead friend on your back to safety to the struggle of moving furniture?]]
*... that [[Trolls|trolls]] once presented a script of a video [[Twin Falling Towers|mocking 9/11 in order to threaten Clyde Cash]] to Chris, and then Chris ''created and released it for them?''
*... that Chris's [[Chandler Family Tree|family tree]] includes six people that fought for the Confederate States of America during the American Civil War, and that among those six, one owned ''twenty-one slaves?''
*... that [[BILLY MAYS]] is absolutely [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS#IRC Transcript|PERPLEXED THAT YOU WOULD OFFER THAT INFORMATION?]]
*... [[Monthly tugboat|that the government lended Chris at least $1,300 each month from 2010 until (presumably) 2023?]]
*... that Chris sold at least 2,000 items from July 2025 to July 2026 on his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy shop]]?
*... that [[Manchester High Leaks#Japan War Essay|the US and Japan really wanted to get it on]]?
*... that [[Praetor]] [[OfficialCWCmart#Handmade Sonichu Medallion, WITH MEGASTONE|is selling Sonichu Medallions for $110]]?
}}<noinclude>{{Usage|1=This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided into blocks that get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try to ensure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time, pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*... that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.

|#default={{color|red|Error: block {{#expr:{{#time:s}} mod 22}} not defined.}}}}

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Here is the whole thing in action:
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[[Category:Front page templates]]
[[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]
</noinclude>

YES to MLPFiMSeasons10to14

2026-07-29T00:15:35Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: removed typo not on original card

'''YES to #MLPFiMSeasons10to14''' is an expansion pack of Chris's [[TSSSF]] cards, consisting of Chris and [[OCs]] from ''[[My Little Pony]]'' protesting [[Hasbro]]'s decision to end the series ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' in favor of a rebooted ''My Little Pony'' series.

==Cards==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[File:Kunprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Kun]] In Protest
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| [[Chris and the law|Picketing At Their Window]] (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| "I am siding with my Sweetheart, Nightstar, because I do agree. "MLP Pony Life" is just a total "Teen Titans GO!" ripoff, and [[Chris and art|it just plain looks horrendous]] and misrepresenting of us. Listen to us, @Hasbro." -[[Kun Hanhphuc]].
| 16 November 2019<ref name=16nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:TSSSF MLPFim S 10 14.jpg|150px]]
| MLPFiM Seasons 10 to 14
| Goal
| Check Mark
|Win this Goal when: Nightstar, Kun, and Six Pony cards with the Mane 6 keyword are all shipped together in a chain on the shipping grid.
|"Here on Discovery Family, see the Mane 6 Return for more epic and developing adventures. See more Ponies come in from the background and beyond to make the Impacts. And see how came to be the Round Table of Friendship. Don't Miss My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Season 10, coming in [[April 2020|April, 2020]], only on Discovery Family." -Discovery Family Channel and @Hasbro, inc.
| April 2020?
|-
| [[File:Nightstarprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| Nightstar [[Sonic Boom Protests|In Protest]]
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Barring #GOPony (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| "Okay, @Hasbro. Even I, and every other Individual in Equestria can only take so much fomr you [[Chris and money|greedy]] executives. But We Will NEVER Stand for this "Teen Titans GO!" Slander of Ourselves! You Read Our Comments, and You Hear Us from C-197's Equestria, Directly. We want to be Chronicled Properly and Accurately Correct, and so does Everyone, there, in your Dimension 1218." -Nightstar Sonichu
| 16 November 2019<ref name=16nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#Chris issues a death threat against a cartoon]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Hasbroprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| Protesting At @Hasbro, Inc
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when: You have at least four of the individuals at the Protest on the Shipping grid, shipped together either adjacently, or in a chain. Chris Chan, Nightstar, Kun, Twilight Sparkle, Luna, Cadence, Rainbow Dash, Lightweight, and/or Zap Note.
| **NO! TO #GOPony.** **Yes! To #MLPFiMSeasons10to14** Heed Us All, @Hasbro!
| 16 November 2019<ref name=16nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Executiveprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris and negotiation|Telling It To The Executives]]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| "Now, Listen! We Know your game, your greedy Corporate Executives." Nightstar says. "Your little game of showing us [[Sonichu (comic)|crap work]] to delay the extension of G4 is crap. You think you can just buy and bide your time for money You Are Wrong and Messed Up." I chime in, "That is right. Even I Know of the Mane Six all becoming Alicorns for the Round Table of Friendship, and I Know that idea was streaming around your creative teams and all the offices for a long time now. And I Know Your Secrets; We All Do. So, cut the [[Chris and censorship|bulls***]] and just make the announcement NOW about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic getting Five More Seasons." And the next day, after they agreed, a TV Announcment was publicly aired many, many times on Discover Family.
| 16 November 2019<ref name=16nov19></ref>
|-
|}

{{References}}
{{ShipficSaga}}
{{BusinessList}}

[[Category:TSSSF Packs]]

Zodiac

2026-07-14T09:44:44Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{stub}}
{{Needs Updating|[[The Place chats - Lore Mashup]]}}

{{quote|I was born under the Sign of PISCES, the sign of the PROVIDER.

I am [[Financhu Crisis|fully capable of providing the necessities, and then some]], for the Lucky Woman who loves me for me, and becomes my True Sweetheart.|Chris on his earliest known [[Facebook]] profile, c. May 2009}}

[[File:12Oct2020 GoldenDiscArt.jpg|thumb|200px|A Golden Disc Chris drew featuring Zodiac signs.]]

The '''Zodiac''' is a series of twelve constellations best known for their importance in some forms of astrology. In common usage, they are used for a person's "star/sun sign" determined by the date of their birth.

Like seemingly every other belief on Earth, it too has been incorporated into New Age spirituality. Even before his relatively recent turn to New Age views, Chris has believed in astrology.

==Chris's Zodiac==
[[Chris]] being born on 24 February is a '''Pisces'''. '''Pisces''' is Latin for [[I Got A Fish|'fishes']] and therefore the zodiac is associated with water as the ruler of this zodiac sign is Neptune the Roman God of the Sea.

According to Chris, he was born at approximately 5:30 AM at Martha Jefferson Hospital in [[Charlottesville, VA]]. <ref> [[Chris's Wikipedia profile]] </ref> Using this information, we can determine Chris's birth chart.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Chris's birth chart
|-
! Planet !! Astrology Sign
|-
| Sun ☉ || Pisces ♓︎︎
|-
| Moon ☽|| Pisces ♓︎︎
|-
| Mercury ☿ || Aquarius ♒︎︎
|-
| Venus ♀ || Capricorn ♑︎︎
|-
| Mars ♂ || Libra ♎︎︎
|-
| Jupiter ♃|| Scorpio ♏︎︎
|-
| Saturn ♄|| Libra ♎︎︎
|-
| Uranus ♅|| Sagittarius ♐︎︎
|-
| Neptune ♆|| Sagittarius ♐︎︎
|-
| Pluto ♇ || Libra ♎︎︎
|-
| Lilith ⚸ || Sagittarius ♐︎︎
|-
| N Node ☊ || Cancer ♋︎︎
|}

==Mentions by Chris==
Chris mentions both his and [[Sarah Hammer|Sarah Hammer's]] star signs in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]].
[[File:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|200px]]

Chris claimed to be "emotion-prone" because of being a Pisces in a [[November_2016_Facebook_posts#You jerks|post on Facebook in November 2016]].

In [[October 2020]], Chris had a [[dream]] about a Golden Disc which featured aspects from zodiac mythology.<ref>[[Pennsylvania Trip]]</ref>

After his [[Second Coming]], Chris has repeatedly insisted that his prophecies are true because Pisces are allegedly <s>"in''tu''-ah-''tive''"</s> "intuitive".

{{References}}
{{New Age}}

Zodiac

2026-07-14T09:36:26Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{stub}}
{{Needs Updating|[[The Place chats - Lore Mashup]]}}

{{quote|I was born under the Sign of PISCES, the sign of the PROVIDER.

I am [[Financhu Crisis|fully capable of providing the necessities, and then some]], for the Lucky Woman who loves me for me, and becomes my True Sweetheart.|Chris on his earliest known [[Facebook]] profile, c. May 2009}}

[[File:12Oct2020 GoldenDiscArt.jpg|thumb|200px|A Golden Disc Chris drew featuring Zodiac signs.]]

The '''Zodiac''' is a series of twelve constellations best known for their importance in some forms of astrology. In common usage, they are used for a person's "star/sun sign" determined by the date of their birth.

Like seemingly every other belief on Earth, it too has been incorporated into New Age spirituality. Even before his relatively recent turn to New Age views, Chris has believed in astrology.

==Chris's Zodiac==
[[Chris]] being born on 24 February is a '''Pisces'''. '''Pisces''' is Latin for [[I Got A Fish|'fishes']] and therefore the zodiac is associated with water as the ruler of this zodiac sign is Neptune the Roman God of the Sea.

According to Chris, he was born at approximately 5:30 AM at Martha Jefferson Hospital in [[Charlottesville, VA]]. <ref> [[Chris's Wikipedia profile]] </ref> Using this information, we can determine Chris's birth chart.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Chris's birth chart
|-
! Planet !! Astrology Sign
|-
| Sun ☉ || Pisces ♓︎︎
|-
| Moon ☽|| Pisces ♓︎︎
|-
| Mercury ☿ || Aquarius ♒︎︎
|-
| Venus ♀ || Capricorn ♑︎︎
|-
| Mars ♂ || Libra ♎︎︎
|-
| Jupiter ♃|| Scorpio ♏︎︎
|-
| Saturn ♄|| Libra ♎︎︎
|-
| Uranus ♅|| Sagittarius ♐︎︎
|-
| Neptune ♆|| Sagittarius ♐︎︎
|-
| Pluto ♇ || Libra ♎︎︎
|-
| Lilith ⚸ || Sagittarius ♐︎︎
|-
| N Node ☊ || Cancer ♋︎︎
|}

==Mentions by Chris==
Chris mentions both his and [[Sarah Hammer|Sarah Hammer's]] star signs in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]].
[[File:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|200px]]

In [[October 2020]], Chris had a [[dream]] about a Golden Disc which featured aspects from zodiac mythology.<ref>[[Pennsylvania Trip]]</ref>

{{References}}
{{New Age}}

Template:Christory/July 10

2026-07-10T02:51:53Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Christory Entry
|imagename = 458-ElPokeSiteDeRWC.JPG
|imagecaption = Ricardo Westón Chándlero dice: ¿dónde está mi tequila?
|text = Today in Christory, in '''[[2003]]''', Chris wrote in his guestbook again as [[Ricardo]], saying that his site "rocks".
|link = 2003 }}

{{Christory Entry Addition
|text = And in '''[[2009]]''', Chris made three videos to three YouTube users, calling them [[naïve]] and threatening to [[Death threats|kill them.]] These videos would lead to the termination of his YouTube account.
|link = CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers}}

<noinclude>{{usage|1=See [[Template:Christory]] for usage.}}
[[Category:July|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

December 2015

2026-07-07T00:51:16Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Events of December */

[[File:ChrisDec2015.png|thumb|250px|Chris in December 2015, wearing a bra.]]

'''December''' was the 12th and final month of '''[[2015]]'''. This month, Chris's [[Autism|"Crazy"]] style of video-making made a glorious return. He also continued complaining about how his ban from [[GameStop]] was unfair. Aside from this, Chris uploaded multiple videos about or relating to [[Christmas]], and occasionally begged for money throughout the month via multiple [[Youtube]] videos and [[Facebook]] posts.

==Events of December==
* '''1 December''' - On [[Facebook]], Chris [[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Sonee and Rosey Amiibo|unveils a new Sonee & Rosey Amiibo]] for sale on [[Etsy]].
* '''2 December''' - Chris posts [[Embargo Update 12/2/2015|an update video]] on his war against [[GameStop]] and other businesses.
* '''4 December'''
** Chris makes [[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Remote and Wired Vibrating Eggs|a post on Facebook]] claiming that, after three days of wearing a custom bra fitted with vibrating eggs, [[Chris and reality|he has somehow managed to create a method of natural breast enlargement]].
** The Chris-related video archive on YouTube, [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|TheCWCvilleLibrary]], is terminated. However, an archive of the channels' content is preserved.
* '''6 December''' - After five days of silence on [[YouTube]], Chris uploads [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|a new video]] about Oestrogel and vibrating bras.
* '''7 December''' - Chris posts [[GameStop is UNFAIR to Everyone; Not Just Me!|another video]] where he rages against GameStop's decision to take action on his stupidity.
* '''13 December''' - Chris posts "[[Seasons Greetings]]". In this video, he talks about his two [[cats]], and asks his fanbase for [[Christmas]] gifts and [[money]]. Notably, Chris is holding Lucy the entire duration of the video.
* '''15 December''' - Chris posts [[A little song and dance|a dance video]] where he dances like he just smoked a ton of weed. A few hours later, he posts [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas|another video again]], in which he butchers a classic Christmas song. He also spends an inordinate amount of time addressing how some numbers vaguely resemble letters of the alphabet in the video.
* '''18 December''' - Chris uploads [[A few kicks|a video]] of himself kicking around a soccer ball in the front yard driveway of [[14 Branchland Court|his house]].
* '''19 December''' - [[Jimmy Hill]] passes away.<ref name=bbcdeath>[http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/35141430 Jimmy Hill: Former Match of the Day presenter dies aged 87]. BBC, 19 December 2015</ref>
* '''22 December''' - Chris posts [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|a new video]] stating that he will record holiday greeting videos for anybody who pays him $50 dollars.
* '''25 December''' - [[Christmas|Christmas Day]]. Chris uploads [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley|a holiday greeting video]] addressed to [[Karen Riley]], even though she never even requested one.
* '''26 December'''
** Chris [[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Lulu Account Suspended|announces on Facebook]] that his [[Lulu]] account has been suspended on the grounds of the [[Sonichu comic]] being fan fiction.
** The 1 year anniversary of [[26 December 2014|the culmination of Chris's war against the 'Blue-Armed Bandit' and his subsequent arrest]].
* '''29 December''' - After still being mad for being suspended off of Lulu, Chris makes [[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Lulu Sucks Blah Blah Blah|two more Facebook posts ranting about the company]]. [[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Threatening Lulu's Executives|In one of them]], he vaguely threatens [[Death threats|to cause physical harm]] to the Lulu executives.

==Posts from this month==
'''Facebook'''
*[[December 2015 Facebook Posts]]

==Videos from this month==
*[[Embargo Update 12/2/2015]]
*[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]]
*[[GameStop is UNFAIR to Everyone; Not Just Me!]]
*[[Seasons Greetings]]
*[[A little song and dance]]
*[[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]]
*[[Jungle bells]]
*[[A few kicks]]
*[[$50 for a video holiday greeting!]]
*[[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]

==References==

<references/>

{{Timeline}}

CWC-isms

2026-07-04T00:00:50Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* B */

<center>{{Honest}}</center>

{{Protip|Please refrain from using CWC-isms casually when writing articles, as this may make them difficult for newcomers to decipher.}}
One of [[Chris]]'s most notorious features is his strange '''vocabulary''', consisting of a mix of fairly standard words, slang, jargon, and various personal coinages.

Some of these coinages originate from a degree of prudery, likely inherited from his older parents and maintained by his childlike nature. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to [[Honest Content|adult concepts]] directly, Chris often resorts to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of words that anyone else his age would generally use with little reservation, which is common with autistic people. While some of them are understandable — after all, nobody would really relish discussing their [[Butt garments|diapers]] — others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", only serve to turn an otherwise normal sentence into an advertisement for Chris's childish nature.

Others are attempts to be clever that fail miserably, for example, he refers to [[semen]] as "[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|navy]]", because semen sounds like sea men, [[Random-access humor|get it?]] Still others come from Chris's love of manipulating words, especially backwards spellings, {{w|portmanteau}} blends, “verbing” nouns, or liberal use of affixes such as "-ful", "dis-", "mal-", "-ish", or "-er". Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among [[autism|autistics]] (likely since standard language may seem inefficient to explain their thought processes), and you get his so-called '''CWC-isms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations or butchered versions of words or phrases that already exist, entirely new words, commonplace words that he uses repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way, or entirely new phrases that Chris often has to explain afterwards because nobody knows what he's talking about.

==Primary categories of CWC-isms==
Nearly all CWC-isms belong to one of the four following classes:
# '''CWC-neologism''' - a ''new'' word or phrase, unknown until ''created by Chris''. Example: ''[[CWC-isms#L|Lovehogs]]'', a portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehogs".
# '''CWC-homonym''' - an ''existing'' word or phrase, to which Chris has given a ''different meaning''. These may be euphemisms, designed to avoid naming (to Chris) offensive things, or else due to Chris confusing an elevated word's meaning. Example: ''[[Duck]]'', for Chris's penis; ''[[CWC-isms#T|telekinesis]]'', used erroneously in place of ''telepathy''.
# '''CWC-archaism''' - an ''obscure'' word or phrase, known in English but seldom used by contemporary Virginians, which Chris has learned somewhere and has ''become characteristic'' for Chris's way of speaking/writing. Example: ''[[CWC-isms#U|Uncouth]]'', a word now rarely used outside the context of formal etiquette, which Chris used to tell people how much of a jerk he perceive they're being to him.
# '''CWC-misspelling''' - only the ''most notable'' of Chris's ''misspellings'', including deliberate re-arrangements: those which are characteristic for Chris's way of writing. Example: ''[[Geinus]]'', what he deems himself to be; ''[[Pmurt]]'' for Donald Trump, 45th and 47th president of the United States. Chris's sporadic, inconsistent use of some [[Catherine|British spellings]] while otherwise using American English can also be considered under this category.



__NOTOC__

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; center:0">{{Alphabet ToC}}</div>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==#==
|-
|

;12-9
[[Image:Sonichu 12-9 Cover.jpg|The cover for Sonichu #12-9|thumb|200px]]

<blockquote>
1. ''(numeral)'' A placeholder for the number thirteen.

<blockquote> ''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism directly. Chris however used it in lists that exceed 12 items.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1006915844016869377</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has shown on a few occasions to dislike the number 13, due to him deeming it an unlucky number. This phenomenon, referred to as [[wikipedia:Triskaidekaphobia|triskaidekaphobia]], is already a popular superstition in American culture, and this is likely where Chris picked it up. His fear of the number has led to some bizarre effects, particularly in his numbering. A famous example of this unusual numbering shtick is in the 13th issue of his Sonichu comics, which he numbered as "Issue #12-9", in which he used an em-dash in the place of a decimal place. The 12-9 itself is meant to represent a value of "almost 13".</blockquote>

;15 minutes
[[File:15 minutes.jpg|thumb|200px|"It takes me fifteen f-yay minutes"]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' [[Masturbation]], the amount of time it takes for Chris.

<blockquote> ''Masturbation takes '''Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes'''''<ref name=15min>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote> ''Self-masturbation is really arduous and annoying. Another '''15 minutes''' down the drain.''<ref name=15min></ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris coined this phrase in 2021, using it in chats with the [[Watchmen]] and in the [[Workaholics Anonymous comic]].</blockquote>

;[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent Garbage]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' The headquarters of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4-Chan]] trolls in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.

<blockquote> ''You will recognize her [?] as your sweetheart because from a fav- from a favor on her half, your internal clock will be restored fully, your enemies of '''4-cent-garbage''' will be vanquished, so you both will live together in peace. Live freely.''<ref>[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Since ED and 4chan were partly responsible for Megan's breakup with him, Chris decided to get payback on the both of them by combining the both of them into an evil corporation in Sonichu, dubbing it "4-cent Garbage".</blockquote>

;7-incher
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A penis which measures seven-inches in length.

<blockquote> ''Good thing we stopped for a pack of condoms; it's too bad the regular-size ones break easily on my '''7-incher'''.''</blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, his penis is about 7 inches, which he actually believes is the average length of a penis of an adult male <ref>[[Mailbag 20#Oral doesn't count]]</ref>. Chris has made all kinds of weird euphemisms for just his penis alone such as this one, "ugly growth", and "duck".</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==A==
|-
|
;abreast
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' full of; filled with.

<blockquote>''It was not until after saving the city from the forces of Count Graduon and his minions, that she realized her form's new assets. And she was '''abreast''' with delight and glee when she found not the Male Part, but a Vagina!''<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''In fact, while I am fairly educated about Tribadism and '''abreast''' with theories, I would appreciate some experience with a lesbian or two who knows what she likes to enlighten me better, including on sensual massage and all that.''<ref>[[May_2015_Facebook_posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris uses this word when discussing feminine anatomy and lesbian sex, evidently because it includes the word "breast". He fails to realize that "abreast" actually means "adjacent" or "across".<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/abreast</ref> A possible confusion with the word "abound" or "abundant".</blockquote>

;Adult Swim
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' pornographic or otherwise "NSFW"; containing [[Honest Content|adult content]].

<blockquote>''She still has a great drawing style, even for the '''Adult Swim''' section."<ref>[[CWCSonichu-NightStar2891 DMs]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Refers to the Cartoon Network block ''[[Adult Swim]]''. Chris seemed to only consider the "Adult" part of this block's name, and therefore assumed he could use this phrase to describe anything that's "adult" to him. Note that the Cartoon Network block does not feature pornographic content.

</blockquote>

;adulterous
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Of an [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|adult]] and mature nature

<blockquote>''Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered '''adulterous'''.''<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: usually used to describe people who [[Ivy|cheat]] on their [[Blanca Weiss|partners]] (i.e. guilty of adultery), Chris only notices the "adult" component of the word.

2. ''(adjective)'' Insult of unclear nature
<blockquote>''Heeeeey, folks! It's me, [[Clyde Cash]]. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an '''adulterous''' foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet!''<ref>[[100 2267]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris simply throws out the insult without a clear understanding of the word. Possibly referring to Clyde taking [[PandaHalo]] from Chris, though this is more aptly described as cuckoldry than adultery. Perhaps influenced by the verb ''adulterate''.

</blockquote>

;among which
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Among other things. Et cetera. Also. Additionally

<blockquote>'''''Among which''' I can project myself to (the Ninja Turtles universe)''<ref>[[Count Dankula#More CWCville (19:55-42:18)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: [[Autism|Uncertain]]. Chris adopted this phrase and began using it heavily in a number of different contexts through-out 2018. Perhaps the clearest example of Chris's over-use of "among which" is the [[Dankula|Count Dankula interview]], where Chris uses the phrase no less than ten times.

</blockquote>

;an' anurr thing
<blockquote>
1. ''(Phrase, transitionary)'' Signifies that Chris wishes to make another point about a subject he is discussing, and that he wishes he were Peter Falk.

<blockquote>''An' anurr thing...CHRIS. Your for real- your real name, as I have been told by Kacey, is only Chris Chandler! No "-tian," no "-topher," just Chris! So, admit that. '''An' anurr thing''', I NAME is NOT IAN! BRANDON!!! SOMETHING!!!!!''<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: a corruption of "and another thing". Used constantly when Chris is angry.

</blockquote>
;[[Anaxis bird]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Signifies that [[Anaxis]] was meant to be a messenger for the information that Chris requested he put in ''A Medium's Guidance''.

<blockquote>
''Perhaps you all may have heard how I came onto this from an '''Anaxis bird'''.''<ref>[[User:Anaxis/Watchmen Source Leaks#"Anaxis Bird"]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: A mangling of the phrase "a little birdie told me", indicating that an anonymous source gave someone a piece of secret information. Because of Chris's misuse of the phrase, the other Watchmen present had come to believe that Anaxis was influencing Chris to write both the [[Affirmations List]] and the [[Lovers Attributes List]].</blockquote>

;[[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]]
[[Image:Anch.PNG|right|thumb|Chris and Sonichu amazed by the Anchuent Prophecy]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Describes anything that is archaic in the ''Sonichu'' canon.

<blockquote>
''Well, what's this? I'm havin' an upgrade? Huh! Huh! My- my powers are given me the ability to fly with my wings attached to my head! It's like a w- it's like an add-on! That's optional! Huh! Must have been done by '''Anchuent''' Powers, so awesome I can fly now! Huh!''<ref>[[Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Initially, "anchuent" was taken to be a misspelling of the word "ancient" given Chris's [[Chris and English|poor grasp of the English language]]. Over time, however, it was revealed that "anchuent" was meant to be a portmanteau of the words "ancient" and "Sonichu", adding the "chu" part of "Sonichu" into the word "ancient".<ref>[[Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook]]</ref> </blockquote>

;and shit
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' And additional items.

<blockquote>''I don't want to believe in labels at all but I mean obviously, tale- the incest fanfics have come true '''and shit'''.''<ref>[[Incest call]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''But, yeah, I did not verbally argue as much growing up, and it took facing the even Toughter Moments since 2000 '''and shit''' for me to actually formulate and speak better self-defenses with what is Truth''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A more profane variant of "and such" (see below). Chris often uses the phrase in unfitting contexts. He may have picked it up from [[Lars]]'s constant usage of the phrase during the 2010 [[Lars Call]].
</blockquote>

;and such
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' And additional items; to add to a list.

<blockquote>''At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera '''and such'''.''<ref>[[CWC Blog|Cwcipedia captain's log, 25 November 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris understands the term's meaning, but uses it superfluously.
</blockquote>

;anthropological
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' human-like, anthropomorphic.

<blockquote>''In dressing myself for the burial work, I saw Snoopy had merged with his '''anthropological''' self-counterpart on the C-197 half of the veil.''<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Eulogy for Snoopy]]</ref></blockquote>
</blockquote>

;acquisition
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A charge or allegation of wrongdoing.

<blockquote>''NO! MORE! Of those stupid '''acquisition''' messages!''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A {{w|malapropism|malaprop}} of "accusation".
</blockquote>

;artery

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' art.

<blockquote>''Good evening, but between this and the, uh, oh, and the other clips I would like to present you, uh, a few examples of hand '''artery'''.''<ref>[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Not to be confused with the term for blood vessels. Chris doesn't seem to realize "art" is already a noun and doesn't need the suffix, and that "artistry" also exists.
</blockquote>

;as such

<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' In the manner previously described.

<blockquote>''They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me '''as such'''.''<ref name=FatherCall>[[Father Call]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris overuses this phrase to the point of self-parody. He's either tacking it on to fill space when he can't think of the next thing to say, or he's peppering it into his language in a feeble attempt to sound intelligent.
</blockquote>

;ass burgers

<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' [[Asperger's Syndrome]]

<blockquote> ''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism directly, as Chris instead alludes to it as "a bad cut of cow meat".</blockquote>

Origin: Since the CWCipedia Saga, Chris has been noted for disliking Asperger's Syndrome, viewing it as something that makes autistic people look bad due to the term vaguely sounding like "ass burgers". Chris has alternatively suggested the term can also sound like "something that can be picked nasally", aka "ass boogers".
</blockquote>

;ass manager
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Either a misspelling or a derogatory term for "assistant manager," based on the abbreviation "ass. manager."

<blockquote>''I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.''<ref name=ShitMeetFan>[[December 2014 Facebook Posts#Shit, Meet Fan]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has only used this term once, when referring to the [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]. It's unclear if this was a misspelling or [[Manajerk|yet]] [[Jerkop|another]] childish insult based on someone's job title.</blockquote>

;[[Attraction Location|attraction location]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any place Chris may sit to gain the attention of any passing women, only to get promptly kicked out afterward.

<blockquote>''Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an '''Attraction Location'''.''<ref name=CurrentDays>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, having a very difficult socializing with women, thought that sitting around in a certain place and soliciting himself would be a better alternative. Therefore, it would make sense to him to sit in a location with many people in order to gain the attention of several women.</blockquote>

;attraction time

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The time that is spent at an attraction location

<blockquote>''Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my '''attraction time'''''.<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;audio-sonic feeling

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the arousing feeling caused by getting hit by sound waves

<blockquote>''Here is a most '''audio-sonic feeling'''. While at the club last night, the [[Chris and music|music]] was loud, maybe reverberating or echoing. The music and beats literally shook up my rack! I actually Felt the music playing and reverbing within my breasts, almost like my breasts had become a pair of speakers. It Felt Amazing and Arousing!''<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Manboob Tunes]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: As shown in the quote above, Chris believed that he was sexually aroused when sound waves hit him. In actuality, sound, a vibration,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sound</ref> creates pressure. The louder the sound, the more pressure gets created from the wave. Therefore, very loud music should be able to hit Chris given that he's a [[obesity|huge target]], creating that "arousing" feeling, which is actually an alternation between high and low pressures.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== B ==
|-
|

;B-dog
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Derogatory epithet for women.

<blockquote>''Then that [[Mary Lee Walsh|'''B-Dog''']] ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY.''<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Childish censorship of the word "bitch"; bitch also meaning "female dog". [[Bubbles Rosechu]] is implied to say this in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], when she shouts "BEEE..!!!" at [[Silvana]].<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_8/Page_95|Issue 8 Pages 94-95}}</ref>
</blockquote>

;bally
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' round; having the texture of a perfectly round ball.

<blockquote>''I've always given her a "'''Bally'''-Scratch" where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a rubber ball.''<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: If one didn't know Chris was referring to his dog, Patti, and that he gives her a "Bally-scratch" on the head, one might conclude that he's fondling someone's genitals. Chris, [[CWC-isms#N|naive]] to how suggestive this sounds, gave this special kind of petting the name "Bally-scratching" because of how stroking her head felt like he was squeezing a rubber ball.</blockquote>

;Be Woman
<blockquote>1. ''(verb phrase)'' Be '''a''' woman.

<blockquote>''I am a Lesbian Transwoman; I am not confused or mentally ill about that; '''I Am Woman.'''''<ref>[[March 2017 tweets#Proud_to_be_a_feminist]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''How Dare You Insult and be so Inconsiderate of Her like that? '''She Is Woman'''; she would Never Revert Back.''<ref>[[NightStar2891_tweets#She_is_woman]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used regularly when Chris asserts his [[Tomgirl|transgender identity]], notable for the consistent lack of a proper article and capitalization of each word in the phrase. Originally only attested in the first person ("I Am Woman"), a post on Chris's [[Miss Night Star]] Twitter sockpuppet account uses the third person ("She Is Woman"). Technically first appears in [[Sonichu 8]] when [[The Incredible Lioness]] attacks [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], as the somewhat cliché musical reference [[wikipedia:I Am Woman|"I am woman, hear me roar!"]], which may have inspired Chris's broader use of the phrase. This could be a reference to the Bhagavad Gita or Oppenheimer ("Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.") [[honor roll|but this is unlikely]].
</blockquote>



;Bigfoot hunts
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The act of taking photos of Chris when you spot him in public.

<blockquote>''I've had it with those shutterbug...Bigfoot hunts imposed upon me because ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!<ref>[[C-Log 03182026]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in C-Log 03182026, where Chris complains about sightings of him being posted online, all while inadvertently comparing himself to a [[Obesity|big]], [[Chris and health#Hygiene|smelly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|ape]].
</blockquote>

;[[Biological clock|biological clock]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Wikipedia:Circadian Rhythm|circadian rhythm]]

<blockquote>'''I have a lot of stored caffeene [sic] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking '''biological clock''' as well.''<ref>[[Biological clock]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Although technically not used incorrectly in this context, the phrase "biological clock" is used exclusively for women in their child-bearing years. Possibly a confusion with "internal clock".
</blockquote>

;blangry
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' [[Chris and anger|Angry]].

<blockquote>''Oh, and how 'bout this?! I get '''BLANGRY'''! ''<ref>[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Given Chris's belief that he has [[Chris and English|mastered the English language]] and his [[speech impediment]], it's likely he meant to say angry.
</blockquote>

;blue-printed
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Skilled in engineering.

<blockquote>''I like many others, was born a foal; to a '''blue-printed''' Pegasus and a country tomboy earth mare.''<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot_20171019-235945_01-png.299275/</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris portrayed Bob's Pony Counterpart in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] as an engineer, just like the real [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]. Due to Chris's limited vocabulary, Chris knew few words to describe Bob's profession. Derived from the word "blueprints", the plans set for the design of a product. </blockquote>

;[[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Single; particularly used on women.

<blockquote>''Ahh, well, it's been over a year and ten months now since I started my sweetheart-search; I still haven't found a '''boyfriend-free'''-caring-smoke-free-non-alcoholic-white-girl-near-my-age to build a relationship with from the ground up.''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris’s mission in life used to be to obtain a girlfriend and have sex. However, every chance he thinks he gets, they already have a boyfriend. This has made Chris “fear” girls who already have boyfriends.</blockquote>

;breaking my balls, busting my balls

<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' Feeling annoyed, teased, and/or nagged by somebody or something.

<blockquote>''Don't do this, you're '''breaking my balls''' here.''<ref name=SHOWDOWN>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just '''busted my balls''' again, you're going to jail.''<ref name=SHOWDOWN/></blockquote>

Origin: Originally said by Eric Cartman in an episode of ''[[South Park]]''.
</blockquote>

;Buddha belly
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Excess fat that gives a person a [[obesity|very round appearance]].

<blockquote>''Okay, well, I admit I do have a '''Buddha belly''', but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.''<ref name=FatherCall/></blockquote>

Origin: "[[Wikipedia:Buddha|Buddha]]" is a title given to several legendary figures in [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhism]]. In this case, Chris is making reference to [[wikipedia:Budai|Budai]], who is often known as "Fat Buddha". Chris presumably picked up the phrase from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "To Love and Die in Dixie".
</blockquote>

;bugbears
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Trolls]], [[weens]], and other Chris-related orbiters who make him miserable.

<blockquote>''Freaking CyberBullies!!!!!!! Real '''Bugbears''', they are!''<ref>[[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Although the term was originally defined in the 16th century as 'a cause of obsessive fear, anxiety, or irritation.', it was given another definition centuries later to describe a race of hobgoblins [[Wikipedia:Bugbear (Dungeons & Dragons)|made famous]] by ''[[Dungeons and Dragons]]''. It's widely believed that Chris picked up the term from ''[[My Little Pony]]: Friendship is Magic'', which depicted these creatures as literal bear-insect hybrids that are first seen terrorizing the ponies.
</blockquote>

;buh bye bay nose
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' but if anybody knows.

<blockquote>''If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in da bawls. But I can't, because I don't know who or where you are. '''Buh bye bay nose''' the whereabouts of the... [[JERKS|jerk]]... and just happens to be nearby... or within the state? Give him a swick kick for me.''<ref>[[Christian's Update 13 September 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A result of Chris’s [[speech impediment]]</blockquote>

</blockquote>
;but during the stone age...
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A rebuttal for something obvious being stated.

<blockquote>''You don’t have to tell me twice! '''But during the stone age...'''''<ref>[[Sonichu 2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to the [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|Videobook for Sonichu #2]], the phrase originates from how you need to “tell cavemen twice” over anyone else.</blockquote>

;[[Butt garments|butt garment]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Leaked footage of Chris in a butt garment]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an adult diaper; typically one used to control Chris's [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontenence]].

<blockquote>''The doctor corrected that they were liners; he never called them diapers. Neither did Chris- he called them “'''butt garments'''”.''</blockquote>

Origin: To avoid embarrassment from stating that he shits himself constantly, and uses incontinence pads, Chris refers to them as butt garments.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== C ==
|-
|

;C-Log
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Captain's Log.

<blockquote>'''''C-Log''' February 4th, 2010. First off, I'm not dead, and I have a few announcements to make.''<ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: For quite some time, Chris has had the habit of abbreviating certain words or phrases that begin with "'''C'''", possibly for [[Chris and his Ego|his name also beginning with "'''C'''"]], as well as to put greater emphasis on the letter C in the words he abbreviates. Other examples of this kind of abbreviation include "C-Mas" and "C-Ville".
</blockquote>

;C-Mas
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Christmas

<blockquote> ''The [[Christmas]] season is upon us, and with that comes the rush for the '''C-Mas''' Turkey, Tree (real or artificial), and of course, the presents. So, Sonichu and the News Dash have some helpful tips to give a better feel of the season to all.<ref>[[Sonichu's_News_Dash#A_Very_Special_Holiday_Chris-chan]]
</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: See ''C-Log''.
</blockquote>

;C Ville (or C-Ville)
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' [[Charlottesville, VA]].

<blockquote>''Look, you're going to back in '''C-Ville''' tomorrow, I can meet you at the McDonalds at Forest Lakes, what time is good for our meeting?''<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Generic term for any city whose name fits the pattern of beginning with "C" and ending with "ville," e.g., [[CWCville]], Charlottesville, etc.

<blockquote>''And when you diss Cwcville you disf- you diss every "'''C Ville'''" within these United States.''<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: See ''C-Log''.
</blockquote>

;[[Captain's Log|Captain's Log]]
[[File:CWCtrek1.png|400px|right|thumb|The Autistic Generation]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' The classic opening for a vlog video Chris makes to adress the fanbase, which includes the date of production. Replaced in 2015 with "live from home once again".

<blockquote>'''''Captain's Log'''. Stardate: September... 24th, 2008.''<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: One may come to the conclusion that Chris picked up this phrase from Star Trek, however, Chris is neither a fan of the Star Trek franchise, nor has he seen any clips of the show<ref>[[Mailbag_3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_14]]</ref>. It is more likely that Chris picked up the phrase from cartoons like [[Family Guy]], which references Star Trek, considering how much he watched the show religiously.</blockquote>

;carniverous
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' evil, vengeful.

<blockquote>''On today's show, we will take a close-up look at the '''carniverous''' jerkops.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P29.htm</ref></blockquote>Origin: A misspelling of "carnivorous". It is unknown what word Chris meant to use here, but "carnivorous" certainly wasn't it.</blockquote>

;[[china]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Female genitalia

<blockquote>''I love dykes! DYKES! '''CHINA!'''''<ref>[[CWC's_Second_Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, uncomfortable with directly saying the word "vagina", decided to alter the word to a cutesy, similar-sounding word. Based off of a term for porcelain "china".</blockquote>

;coldest shoulder

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' to rebel.

<blockquote>''Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who turned '''Coldest Shoulder''' Against me and STARTED all of the Online Hatred.''<ref>[[April_2012_Facebook_posts]]</ref>

''One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time Manajerks who gives her elders the '''coldest of shoulders'''.''<ref>[[Coffee Place]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misuse of the phrase "turning a cold shoulder", a phrase used for the negligence of another person<ref>https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/turn-a-cold-shoulder-to</ref>. </blockquote>

;Come Adore
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A sermon from Chris's religion.
<blockquote>''That's all for now. Be safe and well.

Mrs. Jesus Christine Chan Sonichu.

Commodore Come Adore<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 June 2022]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Yet another retarded pun from Chris, specifically based on the [[Commodore 64]].
</blockquote>

;[[Comeuppance|comeuppance]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Male orgasm.
<blockquote>''...I feel my '''comeuppance''' and I come into your mouth, my [[semen]] is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop. (...) And right after I'd given you my first round, my first '''comeuppance''', you would take, you would reach down, and you would take your face away from my penis...''<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' [[Semen]], usually immediately after ejaculation. ''See also: [[CWC-isms#N|Navy]]''
<blockquote>''Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until you get the first dosage of my '''comeuppance'''!''<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Chris uses the sexual slang "cum" as a [[For Julie's Eyes Only|verb]] for orgasm, but he may not realize it can also be a noun referring to ejaculate. In his mind, "comeuppance" apparently serves that purpose, viz., "that which has come/cum up."

In the real world, "comeuppance" is an English noun meaning [[Wiktionary:comeuppance|outcome which is justly deserved]] based upon the common verb "come," i.e., the state of coming forward to receive judgment. He is either unaware of the original definition of the word or does not appreciate the irony of telling women he's going to give them comeuppance.

Note that the contexts of the real word and Chris's version are different. When a woman is rebuked, she receives her comeuppance; when a woman gets Chris's hot load in her face, she receives ''his'' "comeuppance."
</blockquote>

;count you(r) blessing(s)
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used as a retort when someone complains about the quality of your work.
<blockquote>It’s an early thing; it will improve later on. Curb your enthusiasm and '''count your blessing.'''</blockquote>
Origin: In [[January 2020]] Chris was seen using the phrase when he was attacked after chimping out about being blocked on social media. Recently people have been questioning the quality of the newest [[medallions]], produced by [[Praetor]]. Chris, perhaps in an attempt to "calm the trolls down'' tells them to '''count their blessings''.</blockquote>

;crash into slumber (or crash and burn)
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To get so sad and [[Chris and stress|stressed out]] that you get tired from exhaustion.

<blockquote>And… the void in my heart that requires a sweetheart is open again, and it hurts. I hope you jerks and trolls who wanted to break us up… are happy… 'cause all you did was make me feel sad and depressed. And you made me '''crash… into slumber'''… a couple of times. And you know, it takes a lot of stress and exhaust… and such… to make a person feel like they're gonna crash and burn… into a whole bunch of s-- into a long slumber… that just basically sleeps o-- that just basically sleeps off the—uh, what's the word I was looking for? I had it. Ugh…<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris famously said that he "crashed into slumber" in the video [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]], where he shows off how depressed and angry he was with his latest tomfoolery at the time. It could be because that one of Chris's main methods of coping with his stress is to sleep it off, and tried to make it sound hyperbolic by stating that he "crashed" onto the bed, as if he tried to get it done sooner.</blockquote>

;crestfallen
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Sad and disappointed

<blockquote>''I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt '''crestfallen''' greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!''<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#Graduation]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys R Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and '''crestfall'''. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!''<ref name=ShitMeetFan/></blockquote>

Origin: Another obscure word Chris liked to use a lot, even today. It even got to the point where he tried to put it into a baffling progressive tense "to my dismay and crestfall".</blockquote>

;crooks
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Those who may steal Chris's intellectual property for malicious purposes. ''(pl.)''

<blockquote>''I aways keep my eyes open for '''crooks''' who take my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]]'s name and put it in offensive use!''<ref>''[[:File:116-CWCCop.jpg|116-CWCCop.jpg]]''</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' websites, and even words on websites which communicate lies about Chris.

<blockquote>''And that [[ED]] page is one of those crooks. Every page--every word on the discussion page is a '''crook'''.''<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A finishing move Chris does on his adversaries in order to "curse" them, publicly or otherwise.

<blockquote>''Hmmm...'''Curse-ye-ha-me-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!'''''<ref>[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A reference to the Kamehameha energy attack from the [[Dragon Ball]] series, performed in the same way it is in the anime. Chris believes that he possesses [[Chris and reality#Magic|magical powers]]. Typically, these so-called magical powers would be used whenever an enemy gets in the way of whatever he wants to do, since Chris is too afraid to actually fight anyone. Therefore, he will rely on this magical power in order to gain control of whoever is giving him trouble.</blockquote>

;CWC-sense
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The ability to sense Chris's presence.

<blockquote> ''Seriously though, awesome timing coming in, just as we, and Chris, had just finished writing the lyrics...was your '''CWC-sense''' tingling?''<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/15092809</ref></blockquote></blockquote>

;Cwcspirational
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' of or giving inspiration; inspiring

<blockquote>''Thank you, Miss Franklin for that '''Cwcspirational''' Track. :)''<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref ></blockquote>

Origin: Chris once used the word in place of inspirational to describe Aretha Franklin's "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]".</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== D ==
|-
|

;D.A.
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Unexplained, presumably a substitution to avoid the word "dumbass." Most likely ''not'' "District Attorney," although equally applicable to [[Marvey Blaziken]].

<blockquote>''You are obviously a troll trying to pick on my nerves; nice try, '''D.A.'''''<ref>[[Mailbag 15]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris intermittently decides to self-censor his profanities for the benefit of younger readers.
</blockquote>

;da
<blockquote>1. ''(article)'' [[Wikipedia:Eye dialect|Eye dialect]] spelling of the word [http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/the the].

<blockquote>''Y'all know me as [[DJ Jamsta|Jamsta Sonichu]], '''da''' DJ with da power!''<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], page 43</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris writes "the" as "da" when he intends for his characters (or himself) to sound laid-back and cool. This is most notable with Jamsta Sonichu, who is supposed to sound like a hip radio DJ and/or a [[Chris and race#Black_people|Jamaican man]]. Chris may intend at times to do the same thing in his verbal communications, although his [[speech impediment]] makes it difficult to tell when he actually means to say "da."
</blockquote>

;Da Update
[[File:Daupdate.jpg|thumb|400px|[[Megan]], comparing Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|attitude]] to [[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]].]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' The latest news.

2. ''(phrase)'' The most recent fail Chris is responsible for.

<blockquote>''Hey, guys! What's '''da update'''?''</blockquote>

Origin: Dialogue used by Chris, in an exceedingly awkward attempt to sound casual, in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. As Chris's [[fans]] have searched the Internet for the latest news from our hero, "da update" has become shorthand for "the latest [[Relics of Fail|failure]] Chris has committed." The phrase became legendary when posted above the Chris-chan talk page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] (eventually the page was locked, forcing mass migration to the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]]).

</blockquote>

;[[Darling|darling]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A potential lover, even one that shows no affection back at you.

<blockquote>''Thank you, Doopie '''Darling'''. :)<ref>[[July 2017 tweets#Thanks, darling]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris, so hellbent on being [[Chris and kindness|kind]] to just about any potential sweetheart he met, thinks it's appropriate to refer to women he doesn't know outside of the internet by pet names to sound like he really cares for them, despite it being creepy to most other people. Chris's main justification for using this word on women who don't bond with him is that the actor [[Wikipedia:Tallulah Bankhead|Tallulah Bankhead]] used this word a lot, ignoring the fact that she only did this while on set and was an attractive woman.</blockquote>

;[[Dating education|Dating Education]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' formal education in schools about dating people of the opposite sex.

<blockquote>''Also, in addition, while we also fully support Sexual Education in every high school, Christian Weston Chandler also highly recommends, and would gladly support, '''Dating Education''' classes, because, while Sex Ed is great for the eventual, well-earned intercourse after 3 or more dates, it is vital to learn what to do before that moment. It should be well0taught how to approach and ask one’s member of the opposite gender out for the very first date.''<ref>[[:File:DatingEducation.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The lack of "Dating Education classes" is something that Chris used to complain about all of the time, because he's simply incapable of finding a [[CWC-isms#S|sweetheart]], and that it would be a great advantage for people of his type to learn how to do so. Chris doesn't understand that a key aspect of obtaining a mate is to develop the proper [[Chris and socialization|social skills]], especially those around [[women]], and that it has very little to do with how much sex he has with them.</blockquote>

;dementia
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A synonym for Chris's [[autism]].

<blockquote>''My brain is blank and, I definitely wouldn't have realized. Word of the day, Dementia. The umbrella term for all the mentally wearing down people, I got some dementia okay? So give me time, give me space, alright? And some slack.''<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;detail
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A thing of importance that Chris cannot recall at any given moment.

<blockquote>''I do not have the appropriate calm state of mind to make time to READ those numerous upon numerous small-print '''details''', much less memorize them.''<ref>[[Wikipedia#May 2009 drama]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun)'' Something that Chris does not understand.

<blockquote>''There was one I remember from then where the essay had a lot of offensive content, including smoking, and I spoke my mind on how offended I was of it. Plus other details I misunderstood that he was expecting in the assignments.'' <ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's ability to retain information is questionable (unless it's about [[Sonichu (comic)|something]] [[Lego|he]] [[Pokémon|obsesses]] [[PS3|over]]). As such, he "misunderstands" and "forgets" a lot of glaringly important things, such as [[Father Call|how to live on his own]] and [[Jackie E-mails 2|the fact that he cheated on Ivy]].
</blockquote>

;devotee
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An [[enablers|enabler]] of Chris.

<blockquote>''Ah, I believe I have the proper term. Going from "Worshiper", I checked the thesaurus:"'''Devotee'''" in the term sounds better. "Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu"(DoCCS). This is my better educates and thought suggestion." ''<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Believing himself to be a goddess, Chris needed a term to refer to any of his followers. The term was originally "worshiper", but then after a quick thesaurus search, he decided to change the term to "devotees", solely because he thought it sounded smarter. Although technically a synonym of "worshiper", the term "devotee" is more often used in Eastern religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism.
</blockquote>

;Did the do, to do the do
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To have sexual intercourse, likely under deceptive conditions

<blockquote>''[[Lovely Weather|Lovely]] was hot. She mistook me for myself and we went home from work that night, so Lovely and I '''did the do''', and it was awesome!''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_10/Page_2|Issue 10 Page 2}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An even more benign variation of the common euphemism for sex, "doing it". Likely taken from [[Wikipedia:Emission_Impossible|an episode]] of [[Family Guy]].
</blockquote>

;dige
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Marijuana

<blockquote>''My name's [[Inos]]... wha' chu up to? I am eclectic on this hedge... high on the hog... you wan' som' of this '''dige''', mon?''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_10/Page_70|Issue 10 Page 70}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Intended to be part of a coded reference to "Sonichu, Electric Hedgehog Digimon". It is not known why he changed the reference from "Pokemon" to "Digimon".
</blockquote>

;[[dimensions|dimension]]
[[File:Chrisminecraft.jpg|right|thumb|In a universe of multiple realities, anything is possible according to Chris.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Either our universe or a fictional one, such as the one in which ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' or ''[[My Little Pony]]'' are set, both held to be equally [[Chris and reality|real]] in Chris's ontology.

<blockquote>''For Our Home World and All other '''Dimensions''', Realities and Worlds; All Of Us! Dance! Dance! Dance!!!''<ref>[[Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Dumbing down some physicists' hypothetical notion of other physical universes embedded in mathematically higher-dimensional space, which has since seeped into pop culture and thence down to Chris.
</blockquote>

;[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Used as a reference to Chris's fecal incontinence.

<blockquote>''I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF '''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS'''.''<ref>[[IRC_(20_January_2009)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this phrase during an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] after they alleged that Chris has a fondness to wear women's underwear. In order to confirm his straightness, he retorted by admitting the fact that he has "NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". Soon after, due to how humorous the phrase sounded, it became a shorthand for trolls to refer to Chris's fecal incontinence.</blockquote>

;disabled of crafting
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Too apathetic to work

<blockquote>''Since last December with the Lulu.com problems (resolved), that has left me with a bad emotional and mental scar. Leaving me feeling '''disabled of crafting'''...''<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Too lazy to work]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris being defensive when a customer asked how he could be trusted to follow through on an order, when he had failed to send out orders from his Etsy shop, which resulted in his seller account getting closed.
</blockquote>

;dispel
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Reject, turn away

<blockquote>''[T]o dispel me is to discriminate against the LGBTQ community as well.<ref>[[Unban_contracts#GameStop|GameStop unban contract]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misunderstanding of the meaning of the word.</blockquote>

;Dork of Ages
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Someone who deserves scorn for creating an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article on you.

<blockquote>He is the '''Dork of Ages'''. Y'all should be sending every last complaint and hatred towards—rain down upon him. Send him every last email you can. Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, [gives a thumbs down] along with him.<ref name=AttentionAll>[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used on [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after he created Chris's Encyclopedia Dramatica page. This phrase was [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|taken]] from the American Dad episode "Dungeons and Wagons", where Hayley called Steve the "Dork of Ages" while he played "Dragon Shuffle".</blockquote>

;Drunk, High Aqua Teenatic
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Backstabber.

<blockquote>''You could be a Better, More Supportive Friend, instead of a '''Drunk, High Aqua Teenatic''' with your sweetheart!!!''<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Quinn breaks up with Chris again]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bizarre attempt to turn the title of the Adult Swim cartoon, ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' into an insult.</blockquote>

;[[duck]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|An example of a bent duck]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's penis

<blockquote>''MY '''DUCK''' HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!''<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Initially "duck" was taken to be a typo of "dick" since the "u" and "i" keys are close together. It was later revealed that Chris was using this neologism as an intentional euphemism to refer to his own penis.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

''See also:'' [[CWC-isms#P|pickle]]</blockquote>

;dyke

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A vagina.

<blockquote>I love dykes! DYKES! '''CHINA!'''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In actuality, the word dyke (or dike) refers to an embankment, wall, or ridge built to control or confine water. It is also a derogatory term for [[lesbian]]s, which is somewhat ironic, given Chris's homophobia at the time.</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== E ==
|-
|

;elbow-greased
[[Image:Elbow-Greased Strength.jpg|200px|thumb|Chris gets swole]]

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Earned from hard work and exercise

<blockquote>''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism. It appears in his [[Chris's resume|resume]], where he lists "elbow-greased strength" as one of his "functional skills"''</blockquote>

Origin: A misuse of the idiom, "elbow-grease", a figure of speech humorously used for tasks that involve manual labor only. </blockquote>

;[[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]''

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any of the characters found in Sonichu which are hybrids of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] characters and/or Pokemon.

<blockquote>''Since the inspiration and conception of Sonichu, the '''Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon''' on March 17, 2000, I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books.''<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Despite the name, a majority of "Electric Hedgehog Pokemon" are neither Pokemon or hedgehogs. This misnomer may come from Chris's original characters being hybrids of two Sonic characters, both of whom are hedgehogs (Sonic and Amy Rose) and two Pokémon (Pikachu and Raichu).</blockquote>

;emotional differences

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A strong disagreement between two people.

<blockquote>''I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, '''emotional differences.'''''<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris mentioned that he got terminated from [[Wendy's]] in the [[Father Call]], due to their "emotional differences", possibly meaning that a heated argument between him and his employer ensued.</blockquote>

;empirical
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' resorting to experience to gain knowledge rather than through scientific means.

<blockquote>''So, throw away the book talk; be '''empirical''' and believe what you know is fact'' <ref>[[October 2012 Facebook posts#Empirical]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris attributed the nearly opposite definition of the word to Jeremy Hilary Boob PhD, a character from ''{{w|Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine}}''. Considering this, Chris must have picked up this strange definition from the content in the Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band''.</blockquote>

;entendre

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Charisma or attraction

<blockquote>''Too much '''entendre'''?''<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/15092809</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Derived from the phrase "double entendre", a figure of speech used for words or phrases with a double meaning, typically [[Duck|with]] [[Mass Debating|one]] [[China|of]] [[Recycling|them]] [[Pickle|being]] [[Comeuppance|risque]].<ref>https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/double%20entendre</ref> In English, the word "entendre" isn't typically used outside of the phrase itself, but in many other languages like French and Catalan, it is understood to mean "to hear" or "to understand". Chris, thinking he knows everything there is to know about the English language, once again thought he would sound smart by using this obscure word.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== F ==
|-
|

;F-yay
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' A euphemism for the swear word "fucking".

<blockquote>''For all this time, every single time, [[Mass debating|it takes me fifteen '''f-yay''' minutes]].''<ref>[[Workaholics Anonymous comic]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Seen in the [[Workaholics Anonymous comic]] from [[March 2021]] and again in [[August 2025]].<ref>[[August 2025 social media posts#Decepticlone Punislav... yay]]</ref> The yay comes from Fluttershy's cheer in the [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]] episode Sonic Rainboom, which was a popular meme in the brony fanbase.</blockquote>

;[[Fangs|fangs]]
[[File:Showing_Off_Fangs.jpg|thumb|right|200px|How Chris imagined himself when showing off his canines]]
[[File:ChrisCavities.JPG|thumb|right|200px|The reality. The red arrows point to Chris's cavities]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's canine teeth.

<blockquote>''They're called Eye-Teeth, but they feel and look like '''fangs''' of a vampire, dog or something to me.''<ref>[[Sonichu_Girls#Your_understanding_me_fukky_.281_January_2009.29]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I'm not afraid to SHOW MY '''FANGS'''!''<ref>[[CWC_Update_8_January_2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes his teeth to be unordinary compared to most other people's teeth, apparently believing canine teeth are some kind of special trait only a selected few people have. Because he believes his canines to be menacing, he gave them the name "fangs". Once in a while, Chris would show off his decaying teeth to scare his enemies. This usually works, although for the wrong reasons.</blockquote>

;faredoo
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection, imperative verb)'' Parting salutation, akin to "goodbye".

<blockquote>''Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. I bid you fond...'''faredoo'''. Adieu. Fond farewell adieu...''<ref>[[The MovingFoward videos]].</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Accidental portmanteau of "farewell" and "adieu".
</blockquote>

;fart-minded

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' dumb and perverted.

<blockquote>Ha Ha! Take THAT, you '''fart-minded''', jerk [[MALE]] among ALL fart-minded, jerk Males that make up the Majority of the Worldwide Male Population! -:D<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivtWQTjXCDs</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in the comment section of a Stopmotion Lego animation, where a ''Lego'' minifigure is in a sexual relationship with a ''Lego Friends'' minifigure. Throughout this video, the Lego minifigure essentially acts how Chris believes most men do. At the end of the video, the male minifigure proceeds to fart, which disgusts the female minifigure. Also a possible butchering of the phrase "brainfart", which is used to humorously refer to a moment of absentmindedness.</blockquote>

;firstly
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' A word that indicates that Chris is about to tell someone why he's right. Often not followed by an enumerated list of reasons, despite the implication.

<blockquote>'''''Firstly''', Aspergers is NOTHING Similar to Autism; Aspergers pertains to MEMORY, Autism is Social Skills. and I'm High-Functionally Autistic''<ref name=IRC2January09>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]].</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Use of "firstly" to begin a list, rather than "first," is a matter of dispute. While both words exist in the dictionary, "Firstly" has fallen out of common use in speech and tends to sound more formal, perhaps overly so. Chris seems to like this formality, probably because he thinks it sounds smart.
</blockquote>

;French side dish
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A kiss that involves the usage of one's tongue.

<blockquote>''"I LOVE YOU" would be shared daily with a '''French side dish'''.''<ref>[[For My True Love, I Would…]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bizarre take on the phrase "French kiss".
</blockquote>

;fondful
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' fond.

<blockquote>''Faithfully yours with '''fondful''' thoughts; Chris Chan.''<ref>[[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007|Chris's email to Megan Schroeder]], 06 July 2007</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris apparently doesn't understand that "fond" is already an adjective by itself.
</blockquote>

;for good-like
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' final, but with the imagined possibility otherwise.

<blockquote>''And in June of 2008, he banned me from the store '''for good-like'''.''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails|Chris's email to The Wallflower]], 18 February 2010</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Confusing modification of "for good".
</blockquote>

;foresee/foretell/foreknow
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To make a wild guess at something occuring, claiming it's a "prediction".

<blockquote>''#Saberspark Is right. This is one reason why I stay clear from certain games and shows. My intuition also senses and '''foresees''' the quality and feel without even having to watch or play it at all''<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#Brainrot]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(verb)'' To have predicted something that already happened or that someone else claimed would happen, but didn't.

Origin: Chris claims he has the ability to predict the future, an aspect of his divinity. However, Chris only ever makes these claims whenever an event has already happened, claiming he predicted it would, or when he makes a confident guess at the future based purely on his intuition.
</blockquote>

;foundate
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To dedicate, as in a monument or building.

<blockquote>''I, Christian Weston Chandler, re-'''foundate''' this monument that is the PAGE with MY SOLE HONEST TRUTH from my sound mind and heart.''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|1=Christian_in_his_Own_Words#Captain.27s_Log.2C_Stardate:_June_6.2C_2009|2=Christian in his Own Words}}.</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Likely a portmanteau of "found" and "dedicate", or a bizarre attempt to convert "foundation" into a verb.
</blockquote>

;four-boomerang-shaped symbol
[[File:Fourboom.jpg|thumb|right|"G'Day welcome to Auschwitz"]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' minced oath for "[[Wikipedia:swastika|swastika]]," especially the ''Hakenkreuz'' symbol of the [[Nazis|Nazi]] Party.

<blockquote>''Like Most People, I do not care much for Adolf; he was a terrible man, and even in jest, I WOULD NEVER want to portray him, much less, his '''four-boomerang-shaped symbol''' (I know what it is called, but I do not wish to type the word).''<ref>[[Mailbag 5#That wacky Hitler|Mailbag 5]]
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris was apparently afraid to say the word "swastika," probably for the same reason he used to [[Niggos|fear using racial slurs]].
</blockquote>

;fourth wall

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A boundary that separates [[Reality Cartoon|reality cartoons]] and [[Dimensions|dimensions]] from dimension C-197.

<blockquote>''Hey, Everyone. I have another announcement for you all to do now, for yourselves and our OCs: Break Your Own '''Fourth Wall'''.
<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1195039493130199041</ref>''</blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' An abstract force that prevents people from talking to their OC's.

<blockquote>Our OCs in C-197 often break their '''fourth walls''', because they are aware of us, and it is our time and turn to return the favour.</blockquote>

Origin: Comes from the phrase "breaking the fourth wall", a figure of speech humorously used on characters that acknowledge the audience directly, or state their awareness of the media they're in. Chris has taken this to mean that all dimensions in the universe are separated by this kind of barrier, therefore calling them "the fourth wall". In a recent Twitter post, Chris has also stated that this mysterious force is the reason why people cannot see or interact with their OC's, but that the OC's themselves are fully aware of their creators, so will eventually break through the barrier every once in a while to speak to people of other dimensions.</blockquote>

;[[Friend Zone|friend zone]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The dreaded moment a sweetheart rejects you.

<blockquote>''A lot of times, especially if the friend in question is opposite of gender 18 or older, they may have sex on the brain. And when that person hears from you that you just want to be friends, or in the other term, put into the '''Friend Zone''', that person will feel like they failed at getting the sex they wanted, or Ever will from you.''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The lousiest excuse a sweetheart could give for not having sex with Chris.

<blockquote>''Nothing has happened in Women's Rights; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The Friend Zone refers to a relationship where one person desires romance, while the other only shows interest in friendship. Much like his stance on the Three-Date Rule, Chris believed that the Friend Zone is simply another rule explicitly placed on him by some unspecified authority to slow down his progress on completing his [[Love Quest]]. His belief that this is simply an "excuse" to avoid having sex with him reveals a lot on why he was [[Megan|overly-persistent with]] [[Wallflower|some of]] [[Doopie|his sweethearts]]. He couldn't imagine why any woman would not want to have sex with him, so he came to the conclusion that every woman he stalks are simply unfamiliar with sex and what goes into it.</blockquote>

;[[Fuzzy-wuzzies|fuzzy-wuzzies]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The rewards of giving Chris compliments.

<blockquote>''Compliments will get you '''fuzzy-wuzzies'''.''<ref name=FutureMessage>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. Believed to be another example of Chris's random-access humor. May have been derived from an English assignment in [[Manchester High School|high school]], "[[Manchester High Leaks#Warm Fuzzies|Warm Fuzzies for Christian]]".

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#P|prickly-wicklies]]
</blockquote>

{{clear}}
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== G ==
|-
|

;[[Gal pal|gal-pal]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a female friend.

<blockquote>''And also, I would like to give a shout-out to...Ivy, sweet '''gal-pal''' of mine...and her friend Rachel across the hall from her, in a college within these United States!''<ref>[[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris rarely refers to any of his female friends as just "friends", simply because he thinks that all female friends have the potential to be [[CWC-isms#S|sweethearts]] before they're in the dreaded [[Friend Zone]]. Chris also states that due to his autism, this somehow means that he gets along much more easily with girls than with guys. <ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref> Although this could be more due to the fact that he overall has had much better experiences with girls than with boys growing up, especially in high school. This has caused him to pick up more [[Transgender|effeminate traits and characteristics]]. The term "gal-pal" is typically used by women when they are talking to other people in their social clique. Chris therefore picked this phrase up from the girls he's talked to (possibly using the phrase because he sees himself as "one of the girls"). It is also common for [[homos]] to use this to refer to their female friends.
</blockquote>
;gawd
<blockquote>
1. ''(interjection)'' eye dialect of "god", Used in the place of "god" when it is used to express annoyance, shock, or pain.

<blockquote>''Life is f***ed up. (I had a real stressful Sunday afternoon) '''Gawd'''! Just... GAWD!!!''<ref>[[April 2017 tweets#STRESSFUL SUNDAY. GAWD!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly meant to add dramatic effect to saying "god", which is already used to add dramatic effect.</blockquote>

;gaybian
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a male lesbian.

<blockquote>''Uh... simply put—and I am willing to say this... in sound mind and body: I... am a '''gaybian'''.''<ref>[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only used this word once in the video [[Chris_Comes_Out_of_the_Closet]]. Before this video, [[Clyde Cash]] had threatened to harm [[Julie]] under the condition that Chris refuses to admit that he's gay. Chris being Chris, he had absolutely no idea that he was once again under another elaborate trolling scheme, and had no clue how to handle the situation. Chris thought he could be sly and admit to being gay, while also being attracted to women. Thus, he tacked on the word "gay" onto "lesbian" to create the word "gaybian" so that he can say that he's a "male lesbian", despite this being a complete contradiction within itself.</blockquote>

;geinus
[[Image:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|I'M A MAD GEINUS! [[Doctor Robotnik|ROBOTNIK]]! ROBOTNIK!]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a genius

<blockquote>''Robotnik! Robotnik! I'm a mad '''geinus'''! Robotnik, Robotnik!''<ref>[[Sonichu 1]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An accidental misspelling of "genius", this CWC-ism is the result of Chris's ability to spell, or lack thereof. In his futile attempts to spell words with "eni", he substitutes this with "ein", possibly due to his habit of spelling words phonetically.</blockquote>

;get it through your skulls
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Used to clarify something to your fans
<blockquote>''So everybody '''get it through your skulls''', I'm the real deal.'' <ref>[[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this term a lot when trying to clarify various misconceptions about him, such as his straightness, and who the real CWC was. Variations of the phrase include "GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS", "Get it through your damn, dirty, immature skulls!", and "Get through your damn, dirty, stupid, idiotic, immature skulls".</blockquote>

;gitar
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A guitar

Origin: How Chris pronounces the word "guitar".
</blockquote>

;give birth, give the birth
<blockquote>
1. ''(verb)'' To transfer possession of the state of having been born, by bearing as offspring.

<blockquote>''My mother and my father are both really nice, old-fashioned-type people who not only '''gave the birth'''--gave me birth at their ages...which my mother is sixty-six, currently, and my father is currently eighty. They both just turned that way in the last couple of months. And, uh, I was born in 1982. They gave me the birth...then, and, uh, anyway, it was so nice of--for them to give me the, uh, birth during the early [[1980s]].''<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to think that a sentence like "Barbara gave birth to Christian" is grammatically equivalent to a sentence like "Barbara gave Go-bots to Christian."
</blockquote>

;GO!
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Having a style similar to the cartoon ''Teen Titans Go!''.

<blockquote>''As MUCH, as I would like to agree; Cute as it may be, it is still '''GO!''' Version, and #GOPony is something we Really do not like.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1211396957203247104</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' Of a descent originating from [[Dimensions|dimension CZ-69]].

<blockquote>''Just; Most '''GO!''' individuals are...NO!!!''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1215833863718567937</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this CWC-ism to describe his distaste for the MLP:FiM spinoff series [[Pony Life]], believing it to be in the same vein as Teen Titans Go! due to its artstyle. He would go around on his [[Twitter]] account spamming Hasbro and/or users showing any interest in the show with some of his TSSSF cards as a means of protest using this euphemism to put it under a bad light.
</blockquote>

;go make a rhyme
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to indicate that he is in a [[Chris and writing|poetic]] mood.

<blockquote> ''Oh, Back Off, '''go make a rhyme'''. Love will come your way in good time.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/913230475774369794</ref> Keep Heart, Have hope and faith. Life is a coinkie-dink strafe. Have an open heart, don’t be afraid. Your sweetie is likely in your friendship parade.''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris intended to write a rhyme in order to sound poetic in a tweet, continuing with the rhyming schtick in several subsequent ones. Due to his own laziness, the best Chris could come up with in terms of words that rhyme with "time" is "rhyme".
</blockquote>

;[[Godjesus]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|This is who Chris actually believes in.]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(shorthand)'' God and Jesus Christ.

<blockquote> ''As I have guide, as I was guide [sic] by, uh, God and Jesus. And because I, uh, cheated on Ivy lately, '''Godjesus''' were mad at me, so, even though she r-, even though she requested the recent items of question, sex-, [quietly] sexual stuff--videos and pictures--I am being punished because the trolls are getting their hands on them.''<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And also, who I'd like to thank, '''GodJesus''', our God and our Lord and savior, for their support, for their support as well, I pray to them every day, and I follow, I am guided by Jesus.''<ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris appears to be somewhat aware of the Holy Trinity (Holy Spirit, Son, and Father), the three forms that God takes in mainstream Christianity. Despite accepting Jesus as the son of God, Chris believes that God and Jesus are essentially the same entity. As a result, whenever he mentions God, he is never reluctant to mention Jesus in the same sentence. Because of this, Chris made this CWC-ism as a shorthand of "God and Jesus". This CWC-ism was the primary inspiration for the term "[[Godbear]]" to humorously refer to [[Leonard Bearstein]], who Chris has credited for his name change. Chris now no longer uses his CWC-ism, now referring to both God and Jesus as separate [[OCs]]. Chris now calls God "Emmanuelle".</blockquote>

;grand number of pounds
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Extremely heavy.

<blockquote> ''Note: The chair weighs a '''grand number of pounds'''!<ref>[[Power]]</ref>'</blockquote>

Origin: Used in a video where he tried to prove his strength to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who was actually [[Joshua Martinez]], by lifting an office chair.
</blockquote>

;grinds my gears
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to indicate he is annoyed with something.

<blockquote>Firstly, I got your image in my mailbox; while I thank you for your fanart, No Offense, but I do not appreciate Sonichu drawn looking retarded; I feel it '''grinds my gears''' a bit.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In_which_Chris_insults_someone_who_drew_a_picture_for_him]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>Something that '''grinds my gears''' is how people are not accepting of the neutral terms of "darling" or "dear".<ref>[[:File:OpenLetter.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this phrase almost every time he wanted to indicate he was annoyed and not outright [[angry]]. It is believed that Chris has picked up this archaic phrase from [[Family Guy]], specifically from a segment from the show called "What Really Grinds My Gears", where Peter is talking about things that annoy him or "grinds his gears".

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== H ==
|-
|

;hand-drawing
[[Image:Chris holding a pencil.png|thumb|Chris holding a pencil|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An original drawn image, as opposed to a facsimile of that image.

<blockquote>''I mean, does that look like a printout to you? No! It's a '''HAND-DRAWING'''! It's the original hand-drawing of the back cover I constantly used! Among all the other hand drawings on my SHELF! In my BINDERS! IN THIS ROOM! In this house!''<ref>[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(verb)'' To sketch without the aid of digital technology, such as a computer.
[[File:Sonichuipaddrawing2020.jpg|thumb|A non-example made by Chris.]]
<blockquote>''No, actually, what I thought, is that you skip the '''hand-drawing''' and you draw everything on your PhotoShop with your computer mouse.''<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's process for producing his drawings is to draw them, by hand, on physical paper, and then scan the paper into his computer and use image editing software to add effects like lettering or (for the purpose of breaking the fourth wall) photographs. He takes comfort in the belief that ownership of the original paper drawings is evidence of his authorship and will frequently cite this in defense against perceived thieves and trolls.

Chris also thinks that drawing on a computer instead of paper is an inferior method of producing artwork; he thinks the results look "blocky and low-resolution," which probably speaks more to his [[:File:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg|his own experience using MSPaint]] than the artistic quality of, for example, [[Asperchu]]. The fact that a digital artist like Alec Benson Leary is nonetheless ''using his hands'' does not seem to have occurred to Chris.
</blockquote>

;Haterade

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a metaphorical drink consumed by haters.
<blockquote>''Therefore, for all of you '''Haterade'''-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress. <ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref>''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Put down the '''Haterade'''; this is not going against any rules, it is just the way it is. Hey! I still have my flaws, so I am definitely Not a Mary Sue type of OC. Also, if I wanted a shot glass of '''Haterade''', I would read most anything this dimension’s @realDonaldTrump ever wrote.''<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref></blockquote></blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun, informal)'' excessive negativity, criticism, or resentment.

<blockquote>''This is in reference to the Nypical '''Haterade''' Comment of “Get A Job” that is not only thrusted upon me, but to everyone who is creative and have powerful in their own respective, individual rights.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: Originally said by Lars in the 2010 [[Lars Call]]. Chris then used it almost nine years later. Likely a pun on the sports drink Gatorade.
</blockquote>
;[[heart level]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's way of measuring his emotional state

<blockquote>''100% Change the number to change your '''heart level''' and you can write a sentence to indicate how you feel.''<ref>[[Heart_level]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The concept of the "heart level" most likely stems from Chris's inability to understand emotions. As an alternative, Chris tends to use video game terms in order to measure such emotions.</blockquote>

;heal
<blockquote> 1. ''(verb)'' to ejaculate into someone.

<blockquote>''Had I Not '''healed''' her, she would be dead Late August.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris had somehow come to the conclusion that sex with his mother would make her more youthful, hence "healing" her.

</blockquote>

;heartsweet
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a [[sweetheart]].

<blockquote>''Rosey, as often as birds tweet, will you be my lovely '''heartsweet'''?''<ref name=OdeToRosechu>"[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]"</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Rearrangement of "sweetheart," possibly coined initially to provide more rhyming options in poetry. Chris primarily uses this term in Sonichu's dialogue, as the character's pet name for Rosechu. When speaking for himself, Chris tends to prefer "sweetheart," although the trolls use "heartsweet" in conversation with him.

''See also: [[sweetbolt]]''
</blockquote>

;heavyweight
[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|Chris does NOT look like Chris Farley]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Stockboy; person employed to move heavy objects and perform other menial labor.

<blockquote>If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY. [...] If I have to I would be, get one of the '''heavyweights''', that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store.<ref name=FatherCall/></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' heavy.

<blockquote>I do not think Chris Farley looks like me at all, plus he was a LOT more '''heavyweight''' than me, and he was more wild than me.<ref>[[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, as usual, has to repurpose words rather than use the existing words that already mean what he wants to say.
</blockquote>

;hedgehog-defensive (or hedgehog)
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Protecting oneself by curling up into a ball, just like a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hedgehog]].

<blockquote>And I do understand all that. Believe me, and I need not be reminded of the worst part, but my '''hedgehog-defensive''' state and all of the tears and leaking mucus and whole body paralysis that happened to me then and there will haunt me in reminder of that.<ref>[[TooManyGames#Personal_space_talk]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>@MLPSilverQuill, having one’s own spirit killed is really not fun nor funny at all. And, believe me, I was literally in a worse huddled position than what I see here, and I FELT DEVASTATED at that moment. I went full '''Hedgehog Defensive''' and let my quills keep others back. It Hurts<ref>[[April_2019_social_media_posts#Hedgehog-defensive_state]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Replacing the likes of his [[Megatron pistol]] and his [[pepper spray]], Chris has adapted the habit of rolling up into a ball to protect himself from unwanted physical contact. The protective state he dubs "the hedgehog-defensive state" is most likely based off of the spin-dash attack from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, which the titular character uses to attack foes.</blockquote>

;[[hermaphrodite]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A derogatory term for passing transgender women, particularly those that haven't gotten bottom surgery.

<blockquote>''OH MY GOD!!! UGH!!! ARE YOU REALLY A '''HERMAPHRODITE'''?! I'm sorry, but that naughty picture just really shocked me and made me want to throw up. *deep breath* You do have a pretty face, but what happened just now is just like the movie, "The Crying Game", or the Thanksgiving episode of "The Cleveland Show".''<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap, again!]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' A person of an ambiguous gender, or who is female, who also has a penis.

<blockquote>If a '''Hermaphrodite''', I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin:A misuse of the archaic term for intersex people. Chris appears to use this term to refer to someone he deems as "almost a woman", which is also shown when he referred to some of his female characters as "all female" when having their penises removed. Chris used this term when he noticed that the sweetheart [[Bailey Jay]] had a penis, and she explained to him her experiences as a transwoman. Chris also notably talked about how if he had a "hermaphrodite" as one of his offspring, he'd raise them as a boy. Chris's rather specific usage of this term also shows some of his prior beliefs about gender before he transitioned himself, such as who he deemed "male" or "female" in the first place.</blockquote>

;[[HEXBox]]
[[File:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any of the video game consoles made by Microsoft, primarily the Xbox 360.

<blockquote>I never cared for the '''HEXBox''', and frankly it LACKS heavily in comparison to the Wii and PS3, PLUS YOU HAVE TO PAY THEIR FEES TO EVEN GO ONLINE OR DOWNLOAD DEMOS WITH IT.</blockquote>

Origin: Due to his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Brand Loyalty]], Chris had an irrational hatred for the XBox, simply because of how much you've got to pay for it to access some of its content<ref>[[Mailbag_5]]</ref>. Because Chris viewed this device as a curse to humanity, he tacked the word "hex", which is defined as being a curse, onto the original name of the console.</blockquote>

;hide behind/under his mother's skirt
<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' To behave in a cowardly, immature fashion.

<blockquote>''You come to me now. Come face me like a man. Unless you want to continue being called a cow-a quivelling coward who '''hides under his mother's skirt'''.''<ref>[[Challenge for Clyde II]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An antiquated phrase alluding to children literally hiding behind their mother's skirts when frightened.
</blockquote>

;hippo on one's head
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A predicament or unpleasant situation one is currently facing

<blockquote>''I'M WET. I'M COLD. THERE'S A HIPPO ON MY HEAD. AND CLEARLY, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN.''<ref>[[:File:JailArt15.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Someone's [[wikipedia:Hippocampus|hippocampus]]

<blockquote>''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)''<ref>[[:File:FSM2.PNG]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris states in an e-mail directed at [[Regina Novakova]] that the phrase originated as an example of his [[random-access humor]], apparently as a pun of the word "hippocampus". Following from this, he would famously use the term in a [[HippoOnYourHead|Flipnote animation]] of a person literally getting crushed by a falling hippo, and then use the term several more times to describe the "weight" of the hippo on people's heads. He has lately used this term to describe his struggles with being in jail in a drawing sent to [[Praetor]].

</blockquote>

;[[homo]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A male homosexual

<blockquote>''Yes; the '''Homos''' I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref></blockquote>''

2. ''(noun)'' A non-passing transgender woman, particularly one Chris doesn't deem an authentic woman

<blockquote>''So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male, 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.''

''Anyway, that's my response for now.''

''Damn '''homo'''.''<ref>[[Response to ADF]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(adjective)'' homosexual

<blockquote>''Every one of you who thinks I'm '''homo''' and calls me that—-because I am not; I'm straight! I'm straight!''<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

4. ''(adjective)'' relating to homosexuals

<blockquote>''Again, to reiterate the issue, THE GOD DAMN F***IN' '''Homo''' Ads MUST BE GONE!''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris had a hatred for homosexuals, out of fear that he'll become one himself. Even uttering words like "gay" and "homosexual" would make him uncomfortable. Chris also believed that those that strayed too much from their assigned gender at birth would turn out as being gay, which explains his defensiveness towards his more effeminate traits.</blockquote>

;[[Honest Content|honest]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' NSFW, containing adult content.

<blockquote>''Parental Advisory - VERY '''HONEST''' content.''<ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only has a slightly good understanding of what honesty is. However, Chris doesn't seem to understand when it's most appropriate to be honest. In his mind, to attract mates, he has to be honest all of the time, even if this includes instances of his sexual misadventures. Chris knows that he's not supposed to discuss such topics publically with ordinary people, so he would have to keep such things in secret. Therefore, in his mind, it would be the honest thing to do to discuss such actions.
</blockquote>

;Hurtful Truth Level
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A point at which honest criticism should be stopped so as to avoid hurting a person's feelings, regardless of the usefulness of the advice.

<blockquote>''And another thing, When constantly exceeding that '''Hurtful Truth Level''' to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Said in an email to Jackie after she had pointed out several glaring flaws in Chris's lifestyle and personality. Rather than take her criticism to heart and improve himself, he got angry and defensive, wishing that she would show sympathy for him instead.
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== I ==
|-
|

;I can feel the cosmos
[[File:I can feel the cosmos.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Statement of achievement and oneness with the universe.

<blockquote>''I promise, uh, three da—three pages a day, drawn or colored, but, also with the, uh, website, and God/Jesus's support, I feel like... we will be seeing many new—many new thing. The website will be better. '''I can feel the cosmos!''' Peace.''<ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Inspired by a line from the game Katamari Damacy, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmWxNFq6_3U "Oh, I feel it. I feel the cosmos."]
</blockquote>

;I got a fish

<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Claim that one owns a fish.

<blockquote>'''''I got a fish!''' Would ya like to make a wish?''
''I got a fish Would ya like to make a wish?''
''I got a fiiiiiiiiish! Would ya like to make a wish?''<ref>[[I_Got_A_Fish]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a song of the same name, where Chris's [[random-access humor]] shines.</blockquote>

;I HATE ME TOO!!!

<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' A self-destructive phrase used to attempt to gain pity from trolls

<blockquote>''You know what, '''I HATE ME TOO!!!'''''<ref>[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used as part of the title of a gallery found on Chris’s [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Page.
</blockquote>

;[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expressed angrily when you wish to break someone apart to kill them

<blockquote>''Jason Kendrick Howell... you BASTARD! BASTARD! You hacked into everything! You have driven me so beyond the wall, I can't even DESCRIBE it! YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW, BUT... '''I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!''' Goodbye!''<ref>[[Jason Kendrick Howell message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used as a [[death threat]] to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after he has hacked Sonichu.net.</blockquote>

;I'm workin' on it!
<blockquote>1. ''(exclamation)'' An exclamation that you are working on something important.

<blockquote>'''I'm workin' on it!''' I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...<ref>[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used repeatedly by Chris to assure to [[Bob]] that he is doing his best to take down information about 14 Branchland Court from the Internet.</blockquote>

;IBAChandler
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Abbreviation for "I be a chandler," i.e., "I am a person named 'Chandler.'"

<blockquote>''I am so sick of hearing that stupid name that somebody made up back when I had that '''IBAChandler''' account, and I be a Chandler. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my last name.''<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(proper noun)'' [[YouTube]] username in use by Christian Weston Chandler during his conflict with [[Liquid Chris]], leading trolls to accuse Chris of being an impostor of Liquid named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]].

3. ''(proper noun)'' Name of a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' villain based upon Liquid Chris, ironically named for the real Chris's alias.

<blockquote>'''''I B A Chandler''', And I am here to copycatly sieze claim of you hedgehogs and this city from your absent mayor's domain.''<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], page 79</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Inspired by [[Bob Chandler]]'s license plate, "I B MR C" ("I be Mister C.").<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;ID
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Identifying.

<blockquote>''"That is the difference between Trans Gender and Vestites; '''ID''' as the other sex, and dressing like it, respectively"''<ref name=Vestites>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris argues semantics]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly derived from ID meaning "Identification". </blockquote>

;[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the extremely high probability that any woman Chris talks to is not [[CWC-isms#boyfriend-free|boyfriend-free]].

<blockquote>''With the '''infinitely high Boyfriend-Factor''', I am not fond of about 99.999999999996% of the total male population, with a margin-of-error of the 4 billionth of a percent (for about 100 men) of whom are okay acquaintences.''<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris is aware the general chances of him finding a sweetheart are extremely slim. Not willing to admit he's not at all attractive to most women, Chris blames it on the fact that most men are "jerks", and that one probably is already dating the woman he's trying to latch onto.</blockquote>
;information overload

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An act of spamming a webpage with pictures.

<blockquote>''I had thought the '''Information Overload''' would somehow Take Down the page; I admit that I was mistaken.<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: When Chris saw all of the explicit pictures on his Encyclopedia Dramatica page, he decided that the best course of action would be to spam the article with his own pictures. His logic was that if he kept doing this faster than the other editors, they'd have to delete the article, as they just wouldn't catch up with him.
</blockquote>

;instinction

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An instance of something being used a certain way.

<blockquote>''Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all '''instinctions''' and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"''<ref name=IRC2January09/></blockquote>

Origin: Once again an instance of Chris trying to sound smart by using a word that sounds foreign to him, made up or otherwise. The end result, however, gives the impression that Chris isn't familiar with the word "instances".

</blockquote>

;intersex

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Relating to any gender identity outside of the gender binary.

<blockquote>''As a Tomgirl, '''Intersex''' of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser, I am in full support for Human Equal Rights for everyone."''<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out... kinda]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used the term "intersex" interchangeably with the term "transgender" on many occasions, and also uses it to refer to Silvana, who actually is intersex. This gives the impression that when he talks about something being "intersex", he means that it isn't entirely "male" or "female".

</blockquote>

;[[Iron Curtain|iron curtain]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The mostly hermetic seal between [[Reality Cartoon]]s, such as the [[Chris and reality|real world]] and the fictional universe containing [[CWCville]], that prevents the [[Dimensional Merge]] from proceeding.

<blockquote>''But we are getting increasing magics, here, with more and more opening portals and growing tears and cracks in the '''iron curtain'''''.<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Chris begs; posts creepy photo of Barb]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Coined by Sir Winston Churchill in 1946 to refer to the limits of Russian intrusion into central Europe after the War. Chris presumably heard it once in [[Manchester High School|history class]] and forgot what it meant, unless he is comparing his fictional world to the [[Chris and censorship|Soviet Union]]. Alternatively it was fed to him by the [[Idea Guys]].

''See Also:'' [[#F|fourth wall]]</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== J ==
|-
|
;Jail of Fail
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A rather unappealing jail to reside in.

<blockquote>''I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type, you may Remember her (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good, alongside Many (Good) Angels, Spirits, and OP allies in and around this '''Jail of Fail'''. We presently have a genuine Turkish Prayer Rug and a deck of Playing Cards from the Commisary, along with very much appreciated Sports Bra, Socks with no holes, Earplugs, and a few other goodies.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Said in a letter to the long-time orbiter and enabler, [[Kenneth Engelhardt]].

</blockquote>

;janekop
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A female [[CWC-isms#jerkop|jerkop]].

<blockquote>''YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. SO SAYS THIS '''JANEKOP'''.''<ref>[[Feelings of the election results]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whereas the term "jerkop" is a portmanteau of the CWC-ism "jerk" and the word "cop", janekop is a portmanteau of the words "jane" and "cop". The word "jane" is a slang word for "woman". <ref>https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jane</ref>
</blockquote>
;[[JERKS|jerk]]
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. Any male other than Chris and his dad in general, particularly those that Chris dislikes, especially one that gets in the way of his LoveQuest.

<blockquote>''On the flip side, I feel discomfort around men, because they can be such mean and cruel '''jerks'''.''<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The term "jerk" is generally defined as "A person with unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior, typically mean, self-centered or disagreeable".<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/jerk#Etymology_1</ref> As stated in the quote above, Chris believes that all men to be cruel, selfish, and overall unlikeable. Therefore, he views almost all men as jerks.
</blockquote>
;[[Jerkop|jerkop]]
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. An official of the law.

<blockquote>''I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid '''Jerkops'''.''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Since Chris views most officers of the law as jerks, due to how often they'd thwart his LoveQuest, the term is a portmanteau of "jerk" and "cop". Possibly a pun on the word "jerkoff", which is defined as being "a contemptible man".<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/jerk--off</ref></blockquote>

;[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAAAAY]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|Chris preparing for hanky-panky with Julie, using a blow-up doll no less]]
<blockquote>''(interjection)'' 1. An expression used by Chris to indicate how much he'd love having sex for the first time with [[Julie]]

<blockquote>"Oh, Julie...'''JULAAAAAY''', JULAAAAAAAAAAY!!!"<ref>[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris first shouted this infamous CWC-ism in the video [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]. He originally intended to share this video privately with [[Julie]], (unaware that 'she' was actually a 13-year-old male troll), to show what their first date would amount to, despite this breaking his Three Date Rule. Seeing how Chris was somewhat of a porn junkie,<ref>[[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref> Chris must have picked up that during sexual intercourse, one of the people may shout the name of the other person in order to "spice up" the orgy. When the video got leaked soon after, the term started to be used by trolls humorously, to the point where [[weens]] started using the phrase in excess, making the CWC-ism lose its luster.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;jumping the shark
<blockquote>''(verb)'' 1. To start over from scratch

<blockquote>"I am moving out of this Twitter into creating a new one I created, @CPU_CWCSonichu. New and renewed followers will all be screened by my ally, as to keep out the Haters and Harassers. Starting up new and fresh. '''Jumping The Shark''' from old to new"<ref>[[Misc texts#CPU_CWCSonichu]]</ref>

</blockquote>

Origin: The term "jumping the shark" humorously refers to the point where something once popular which has begun to lose its viewer base pulls an extreme stunt in hopes of garnering attention. The term comes from an episode of the television show ''Happy Days'', where Fonzie literally jumped over a shark while water skiing. Ironically enough, despite Chris's misuse of the phrase, many people could easily say that the comic of Sonichu and Chris as a person have "jumped the shark" several times, especially with [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcons]] and- of course- Chris's change into a [[Transgender|transwoman]].

</blockquote>

;Junkeon

<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A selfish, arrogant, and ignorant jerk that was raised by another selfish, arrogant, and ignorant jerk.

<blockquote>"But, yeah, you have these kinds of people raising kids of their own? Are they seriously fit to have and raise children of their own?! I feel even more sorry for those children, because that brings in not only a bunch of f*** up bullies and potential worse than arrogant narcissists, but essentially a bunch of '''Junkeons''' who will have a Very Limited vocabulary and mentality. WILL they actually mean what they say, or will they be constantly, meaninglessly quoting memes and tv shows? I feel it is clear.<ref>[[April 2026 social media posts#Rant against Kiwi Farms]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misspelling of "[[Transformers|Junkion]]", which Chris uses to chastise his haters in a Twitter post.

</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== K ==
|-
|
;kawaii
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' cute or adorable.

<blockquote>''Also, I have thought up something '''kawaii''' we can talk about; Makeup and Fashion ideas.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 28]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''That look really suits you; you look so '''kawaii''' and cool.😊''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1209184205776797697</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The Japanese word for cute, once popular in the English-speaking anime/manga and fashion subcultures. Chris has used this word in almost all cases where he describes anything he thinks is cute and cuddly, more so in recent times, where the use of this word is no longer taken seriously, and seen as more of a joke to poke fun at [[Joshua Wise|weeaboos]].</blockquote>

;[[Kick the Autistic]]
[[File:CWC gets kicked.jpg|thumb|A self-administered kick]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' America's favorite game

<blockquote>''I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CRYSTAL. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, '''"KICK THE AUTISTIC!"''' *sigh*''<ref>[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Any action which involves doing something to Chris that he doesn't like

<blockquote>''And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of '''"KICK THE AUTISTIC"''', then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.''<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(noun)'' Any form of discrimination towards Chris for being [[autism|autistic]].

<blockquote>''And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of "'''Kick the Autistic'''". I'm gonna need all the luck I can get. *Game Over*''<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris had this paranoid idea that the whole world is going against him and his goals, solely due to his autism. In this sense, the fact that so many people supposedly wanted to thwart his goals made him feel like he was being "kicked" around. </blockquote>

;Kra-Kow!

<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase indicating that Chris roasted someone.

<blockquote>''What? I’m just telling the truth. I hear and see WORSE shit from you Haters. At this point, I’d rather look back in that memory than PTSD over y’all’s Hate-Filled content. '''Kra-Kow!'''''<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1231269768310722560</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly [https://www.pinterest.com/pin/318700111138943542/ a comic strip] from Calvin and Hobbes. Most likely inspired by the sound lightning makes.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== L ==
|-
|

;Laughs Under Lucricities
[[File:LULZ.jpg|thumb|"[[C-Log 03182026|For the LULZ!]]"]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(backronym)'' backronym for "LULZ"

<blockquote>''Although, F.Y.I., "LULZ" is short for "'''Laughs Under Lucricities'''"''<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Any form of humor made at Chris's expense

<blockquote>''... your bully of a boyfriend is the Original Author of the "Chris-chan" page that was put up there for the "LULZ", "'''Laughs Under Lucricities'''". Which I don't have to tell you is not only mean and cruel, the page is HORRIBLE''<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#August]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: It's likely that Chris first heard of lulz on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]-<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008#August]]</ref> the slogan of which is "in lulz we trust"- and thus forever associated the term with trolling. Originally he would simply say "LULZ" ''ought'' to stand for "Laughs Under Lucricities," but he soon began implying that it already does.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2008|Email]] from Chris to Robert Simmons V on 12 August 2008</ref> Lucricities is seemingly a combination of "lucrid" (another non-word with apparent negative connotations that Chris has used<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 48]]</ref>) and "ludicrous" but falls short of being a portmanteau and is more like the result of a head-on collision of the English language.

</blockquote>

;lesbian soul
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' What Chris believes to be his true [[Chris and sexuality|sexuality]].

<blockquote>''I am an all-around, good natured, high-functioning autistic, Female '''Lesbian Soul''', and Transwoman, artist, gamer and creative type.''<ref>https://www.facebook.com/pg/cwcville/about/</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris declared himself transgender, he continued to be attracted to exclusively to biological females regardless of their own sexual orientation.<ref>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's]]</ref> Thus, Chris became a lesbian. As a way to assert to detractors that he was a lesbian, Chris cited himself as having a "lesbian soul" despite previously living as a straight man for thirty years.

 </blockquote>
;level-up king
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Master of [[card games]].

<blockquote>''There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the '''level up king'''!"''<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Follow-up]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Before his permanent ban from the [[GAMe PLACe]], Chris would play games of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh with some of the other customers. Despite his sick obsession with both games, Chris never developed any type of strategy to compete with other players, making it very difficult to succeed at the game, even when he played against small children. Eventually, when the shop was just down to six people, which included Chris, the manager, [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]], and [[Lucas]], Chris did win a match against a relatively new player, and excitedly jumped up and down at this accomplishment like a child. Along with this, he shouted the phrase "I AM THE LEVEL-UP KING!"</blockquote>

;like, you know
<blockquote>1. ''(discourse particle)'' Space filler during sentence.

<blockquote>''I don't want too much conflict to happen, '''like, you know'''. You wouldn't want too much conflict to happen, like, you know. I mean-like, you know, between you and him any further. Yeah.''<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's speech consists mostly of uh's, um's, and other vocalized pauses.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;live from home once again
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' An introduction stating that one is recording themselves from their home.

<blockquote> ''Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you '''live from home once again''' and we're going to talk about the recent and more obvious topic, of "The Dimensional merge". Yes! This dimension! Right here! 1218. Is going to be merged with our sister dimension "C197" where all of our s- where most of our superheroes, super-villains, OCs, and what have you, and other characters, consisted, have been existing and co-existing. Yep!''<ref>[[Dimensional Merge Announcements]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This phrase became Chris's typical means of starting his videos since late 2015, replacing the famous Captain's Log. Although it is sometimes used appropriately (i.e. livestreams), Chris uses the phrase even in prerecorded videos that are not, in fact, live.</blockquote>

;[[Love Quest]]
<blockquote>1.''(noun)'' Chris's former on-going search for a sweetheart.

<blockquote>''As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring '''LOVE QUEST'''!''<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: Since attending [[PVCC]], Chris has embarked on a 15-year long quest to find his true love. Chris constantly failing to achieve this goal was what gave this CWC-ism its name.</blockquote>

;lovehog
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A lover in a relationship between two [[CWC-isms#E|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]].

<blockquote>''Also, I have finished the drawing for you, and I have shown off the Original '''LoveHog''' Couple's Wedding Rings, and their three children: Cerah Rosey, Robbie Sonee and (Shiney Rosey) Christine Rosey.''<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 4]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehog".</blockquote>

;lucricities
<blockquote>1. ''(pl. noun)'' lurid acts or motivations

Origin: Chris completely made this word up, presumably based on "lucrid," which may in turn be based on the actual word "lurid." According to Chris, the word "lulz" can mean either "Laughs at my expense" or "Laughs under lucricities," so presumably the two contexts are equivalent.
</blockquote>

;lucrid
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' obscene, profane, wicked
<blockquote>''And promoting the hatred, and...drawing such loose—such '''lucrid''' mockeries is not gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way...''<ref name=csm>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. Possibly a corruption of "lurid," given the context. Alternatively, it might be a corruption of "ludicrous." Chris has used this word to describe the homoerotic/dickgirl art on the ED page, as well as the fan comic in which he was depicted as a man-baby. Ironically, even before Chris used this word
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== M ==
|-
|

;majorly

<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' very, really

<blockquote>''Well, at the mall today, my heart had a extremly fast recovery, then it became '''Majorly''' Shattered again.''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005|CWC's Diary: 29 March]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''That Cake Cost Me $11!!! UGH! What a '''majorly''' royal waste.''<ref>[[Cakefarts#Later thoughts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A stilted word used likely because has more syllables (thus making it sound smarter to Chris) than the regular ones it replaces.</blockquote>

;make one's own peeps n' poops

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to urinate and deficate at the same time

<blockquote>''Uh, actually, uh, actually Crystal is uh, doing, is uh, doing her preschool homework, and uh, Reg-, and Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' babychild! '''Made his lil' peeps n' poops'''! And he went, and he went weewee all over the bathroom.''<ref>[[PlayingHouse]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from a clip of Family Guy, where Herber the Pervert is letting his dog out to "make his pees n' poops". <ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtlwEfZEmrg</ref></blockquote>

;Mama
[[File:Christine and pikachu.jpg|right|thumb|Mama Christine with a [[Sonee]].]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' What Chris refers to himself as when roleplaying as one of his [[OCs]].

<blockquote>''I am going to some shopping and donating amongst the artists affected by the COVID virus of this Dimension, on behalf of '''Mama''', Chris Chan Sonichu. Thank you, again, to the individual who bought the book set recently. Still waiting for the set of #TSSSF cards to sign and offer.''<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1251259373810302977</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes himself to be a parent to his characters. Since he identifies as a woman, he has given himself the alias “Mama”. Chris further shows his lack of self-awareness by not realizing how awkward it is to have anyone, even his own characters (who are presumably teenagers) refer to him as such.</blockquote>

;[[Manajerks|manajerk]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a store manager

<blockquote>'' two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT!''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]] (20 July)</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A portmantau of "manager" and "jerk". </blockquote>

;[[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' akin to to Mary Lee Walsh

<blockquote>''She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, '''Mary Lee Walshing''', Witch Bitch!''<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's ongoing resentment against his old college dean has led him to compare a Wal-Mart manager who banned him from her store to Walsh. He apparently fails to comprehend that the "-ing" suffix is generally associated with verbs.</blockquote>

;mashed potato grenade

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a [[Wikipedia:Stielhandgranate|Stielhandgranate]], a special German hand grenade with a handle.

<blockquote>''I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my '''mashed potato grenade''' could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder.''<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a Facebook post sent to [[Megan Schroeder]] accusing her of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|ban]] from the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game Place]], where he [[Chris and reality|makes paranoid claims]] of what she, [[Mimms]], [[Lucas]], and [[Snyder]] were thinking that day. A corruption of "potato masher grenade", a common English nickname of the Stielhandgranate<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stielhandgranate</ref>.</blockquote>

;[[Mass debating|mass debate]]
[[File:Mass_Debate.jpg|right|thumb|Massive Debating]]
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to pleasure one's self; to masturbate

<blockquote>''I've actually done it '''mass debating''' to myself so many times, even with a hunk of - even with an inflatable plastic woman...''<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This particular euphemism comes from Chris's tendency to refrain from using inappropriate language, as well as his unusual variation of a southern accent combined with a minor speech impediment.</blockquote>

;mental block

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's autism

<blockquote>''And, uh, during my high school years, I was used to being surrounded by… girls… in my circle, and after having to, uh, leave them I felt ever so lonesome. And, after the stress from some of the people—people at PVCC, as well as my '''mental block''' of autism, it became hard from me to approach gir—approach the girls like I used to.''<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris refers to his [[autism]] as a "mental block" because he believes the term refers to a disability. In his case, his supposed disability to socialize with girls. In reality, a mental block is the inability to remember a specific thing at a given moment. <ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_block</ref></blockquote>

;Meta

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' being able to break through the fourth wall.

<blockquote>''Also, there is no problem with breaking your own fourth wall with us from your dimension, here. Go '''Meta'''. We are certainly Meta with and for you all as well.''<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#Homelander and C-197]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: From the Greek prefix meaning "after" or "beyond". Chris views all cartoons as being on a dimension higher than our own. According to him, being able to break through the iron curtain entails obtaining a higher mode of consciousness.
</blockquote>

;mislabel

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to put a label on Chris or any of his creations in a way he doesn't like, regardless of truth
2. ''(noun)'' a label of such slanderous nature; see also "misunderstanding"
<blockquote>''I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE '''Mislabeling''' than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again? ''<ref>[[Common Questions#1_February_2010]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Just about everywhere. He appears to use this term as often as the word "slanderous". Curiously, the redundancy "ill-mislabeling" (as if there were any other kind) has appeared once.<ref>[[CWC Blog#28_December_2009]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;misspeak

<blockquote>1.''(verb)'' to lie

<blockquote>''Sometimes, I have '''misspoke'''. But you are more important to me than ANYTHING. Believe me! I swear. Hand to God. And on my Bible. I'd have to go look for it.''<ref>[[ToJackie]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on [[Lies|his bullshit]], Chris prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this ploy.

</blockquote>

;misunderstanding

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a deliberate view that contradicts Chris; see also "mislabel"
<blockquote>''*AND WE WILL NOT TAKE THE '''MISUNDERSTANDINGS''', THE MISLABELS, AND ALL THE LIKE SITTING DOWN!!!''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|1=Issue_9/Page_39|2=Issue 9 Page 39}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Misappropration. Note that it is not, as in reality,<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misunderstanding Merriam-Webster Dictionary, "misunderstanding"]</ref> a mistaken notion (alternatively a dispute) based on faulty information, but a malicious action worthy of [[tard rage]]. Apparently a slanderous troll has to actively "misunderstand" Chris. Also, Chris has used the related word "misunderstood" (participle adjective) as an insult, not realizing that if the troll misunderstood (transitive verb) him, ''Chris'' would be the one that was misunderstood (participle adjective).<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Rosechu_the_transwoman|Mailbag 39]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;modnar
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' random

<blockquote>''I may be '''modnar''', but I try not to be offensive, and if I do, then I am sorry. I can not please Everyone.''<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: "Random", spelt backwards.</blockquote>

;[[Monthly tugboat|monthly tugboat]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's Social Security Disability Service

<blockquote>"I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a '''monthly tugboat.'''"<ref>[[Monthly tugboat#References by Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris apparently coined the term "Monthly Tugboat" due to a comparison he makes between gaining money through his SSDS vs. winning the lottery. In his mind, winning the lottery is like riding a "Luxury ship that can easily sink", while gaining money from the government is the same as getting cargo from a ship pulled by a tugboat. <ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12]]</ref></blockquote>

;morrow

<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' Synonym for moral.

<blockquote>''The '''Morrow''' remains: Look up to whoever and whatever you like as your childhood hero like no one else is watching you; remain proud with your choice and preference. 💜⚡️''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Chris supports playing with whatever toys you want]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Unknown, possibly a corruption of the word moral. Used exclusively by Magi-Chan during Chris month-long twitter roleplay in August and September of 2019.
</blockquote>

;Mother Nature errand
<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' The bodily urge to either [[Piss|urinate]] or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|defecate]].

<blockquote>''All right, well, ladies, it’s been fun, but I gotta split and take care of ah... y’know, a '''Mother Nature errand'''.''<ref>[[Sonichu Home Club]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A peculiar take on the idiom "call of nature".
</blockquote>

;[[Muscle bra|muscle bra]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A sports bra used for covering a man's bare chest.

<blockquote>''And you know what, I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a '''muscle bra'''. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.''<ref>[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Contributing to his previous fear of the homos, Chris also had a fear of seeing the bare chests of other men out of fear that it'll make him gay. He therefore suggested that men cover their chests under penalty of the law. Chris most likely blended the terms "muscle shirt" and "sports bra".</blockquote>

;my two bolts and a heart

<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' Chris's opinion or takeaway on something.

<blockquote>''Okay. I get serious creep and dark vibrations from all of this. I mean, you may do as you will if it feels right with you. Just '''my two bolts and a heart'''.''<ref>[[April_2021_social_media_posts#Dark_vibrations]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's version of the idiomatic expression "my two cents", referencing his emoji signature "⚡️💙⚡️". Chris has also used a similar phrase before while roleplaying as Sonichu, shortening it to just "my two bolts."<ref>[[Sonichu reads and critiques a Fanfic by The Crimson Libertarian]]</ref></blockquote>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== N ==
|-
|

;[[naïve]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' dumb, lacking intelligence.

<blockquote>''You are such a cowardly, '''naïve''', retarded, individual.''<ref>[[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers]]</ref ></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only seems to understand the most simplified definition of the word. In general terms, the word "naïve" is defined as "showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment."<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/naive</ref> However, in Chris's mind, the word is used to "question one's intelligence". Despite his distaste for the use of the word on him, this turns out to be a commonly used insult by Chris.</blockquote>

[[File:FRENCH-NAVY-CameraObscura.jpg|thumb|Chris travels to France]]
;navy
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' semen.

<blockquote>''You know that, uh—first off, uh, the one... with the '''navy''' being drunk. Yeah. Som—yeah. A b—a—i—a—it's a good idea somet—uhhh... it's a... it's a good idea. But, uh, you know, you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but, uh... I recycle my own semen''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Play on words, i.e, a navy is a collection of seamen/semen.

''See also: [[CWC-isms#C|Comeuppance]]''
</blockquote>

;nearly same
<blockquote>1. ''(Adjective)'' Similar.

<blockquote>''And so I killed about- killed about twenty miles round trip for gas to go find her house. But it turns out that was a troll posing as that girl. [sighs] THE VOICES SOUNDED '''NEARLY SAME'''.''<ref>[[For Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;negligent

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[negligee]]

<blockquote>So, I went onto Adam & Eve's website, and ordered three garments, and a transparent robe. One of the '''negligent''' is about exactly on what I had drawn onto myself.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Sexy negligee]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An obvious mispelling of "negligee", a form of lingerie.

</blockquote>

;neurotypically hindered
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Lacking the proper mindset or intelligence to understand Chris's world building, just by being normal.

<blockquote>''Go ahead; that Is what happened that day, and they did not mind it much. To mock us makes you all Soo '''Neurotypically Hindered'''.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1203938198424035329</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes that the term "neurotypical" refers to having average brain function, rather than lacking any sort of mental condition.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1207129697752141824</ref> He believes that if one only possesses average intelligence, it makes it impossible for them to fully accept his fantasy world, thus claiming it as a "hindrance".

</blockquote>

;neutral
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' platonic.

<blockquote>''I apologize, but I meant the term '''neutrally''', and I never meant anything from that.''<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And One More thing, Darling!... Talluah Bankhead would be Insulted with your response to the term's '''neutral''' usage. Hmpf!'<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes words like "darling" and "dear", are gender neutral terms. Because of this, he assumes that if he claims that he used it in a "neutral" way, people will know he's not using the term in a romantic tone.

</blockquote>
<blockquote>2. ''(adjective)'' politically centrist or nonpartisan.

<blockquote>''He is a communist! And we do not like communists within this country! We are Republican, Democrat or ''' neutral'''... And I am '''neutral''', so I can go either way, but I do not exactly care much for communism!'<ref>[[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Niggo|niggo]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An African-American person.

<blockquote>''Chris: [sighs, raises his voice] BILLY MAYS IS THE NEW MAYER OF CWCVILLE!</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Max: Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail!" CWCville Jail.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Max: "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: Where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggos'''.''<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bastardization of the racial slur "nigger". This minced oath was used only once after [[BlueSpike]] persuaded Chris to say: "''BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville, and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers''". Chris decided to repeat this phrase, but he also thought he could "outsmart" BlueSpike by replacing "niggers" with "niggos" in order to avoid saying the offending word directly. Ironically, a whole year after the incident, Chris referred to [[Surfshack Tito]] as a "nigger" [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|several]] [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|times]], despite not even knowing what he looks like.</blockquote>

;No fucking shit / N.F.S.
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' obviously

<blockquote>''[[The WCT]]: Don't let [[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]] get close to you ever.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: '''No fucking shit'''.''<ref name=wctdms>[[WCT DMs]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''The WCT: The Sockness Saga will be something to watch when Geno gets there. ''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: '''N.F.S.'''.''<ref name=wctdms></ref></blockquote>

Origin: Another instance of Chris attempting to add unnecessary emphasis onto his writing.</blockquote>

;[[Nombie-zazis|nombie-zazis]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' zombie nazis

<blockquote>''Anyway, as for the medical study, and this will require your aid, Magi-Chan. In June of 2015, the scientists have found the gene-like molecule which makes a person turn...ugh..'''nombie-zazis'''.''<ref>[[:File:Son10revp3.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Replacement for homosexuals and homosexuality in the revised [[Sonichu 10]].</blockquote>

;not-troll
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a victim of trolling.

<blockquote>''Consider who does more harassing, which do you block? <ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-278#post-2549629]]</ref>
<blockquote>
*Every Foul-Mouth Troll
*The '''Not-Troll''' they follow</blockquote>''</blockquote>

Origin: In Chris's mind, only two types of people exist on [[the Internet]], those who are trolls, and those who are victims of trolling. Because the person being trolled is supposedly '''not''' a troll, they are a "not-troll". Chris eventually deleted the aforementioned post, and reposted it, replacing "not-troll" with "victim" to clarify what he was referring to in the first place.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-279</ref></blockquote>

;[[Noviophobia|noviophobia]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the fear that someone you want to date is already dating someone else.

<blockquote>''His one fault, that has restricted him from finding the Ms. Right, he had a major case of '''Noviophobia''', where he is afraid to even approach most ladies, because he thought that they were all already paired up with “A Jerk.”''<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Because Chris was so frustrated with so many [[CWC-isms#J|jerks]] stealing his potential mates, Chris decided that his envy and hatred of men was a real phobia. Thus, overconfident in his ability to speak [[Spanish]], formed the word "noviophobia" by using the Spanish word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English suffix, -phobia, meaning fear . </blockquote>
</blockquote>

|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== O ==
|-
|
;[[OC]]
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation, noun)'' Original Creator. A god or deity, including [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|Chris himself]].

<blockquote>''I recall that there was a Mythos about me online: myself, Chris Chan, I; I was an '''OC''' in my own stories; was I Real in this “Reality” that is Dimension 1218? And then I was confirmed in late 2007 with that blurry photograph of me in a moment of great shock and stress.''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(abbreviation, noun)'' Original Creation. A resident of a [[Reality Cartoon|cartoon dimension]]

<blockquote>''I am pleased to announce from this collab piece alone, we have ten Sonichu/Rosechu '''OCs''' confirmed for the OC Expansion Packs of our #TSSSF set of cards, and then some, as I’m also delegating with my other friends as well. This is going to be a massive and lovely OC party!''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Short for ''original character'', a common term used by fanfiction authors for characters invented by themselves and used in their stories yet not present in the source material. Chris believes that fictional characters [[Chris and reality|really]] exist in other [[dimensions]], and under the [[Idea Guys]]' influence was convinced they are deserving of worship. Beginning with the Console Patron Units from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'', he has since generalised this idea on his own.</blockquote>

;OH! MY AXELS! (or OW! MY AXELS!)
[[File:Axels2.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expression of pain in one's axles (the central shafts of rotating wheels or gears in a machine).

<blockquote>'''''OOOHHHHHH!!!! MY AXELS!!!!!'''''<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Written for [[Ghostbusters|Ghost Buggy]]'s cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], based upon the character's tendency to complain about its aching mechanical components.</blockquote>

;OH, MY CHRIS CHAN!
[[File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg|thumb|150px|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Exclamation uttered by Chris during his phases of holding a [[messiah complex]] and [[role-play]]ing as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].

<blockquote>''Why the Hell would you read that personal shit about [[Chris|Mama]] with [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Chris fucks himself|the penis thing]]? '''[[CPU Blue Heart|Oh, My Chris Chan]]!'''''<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Typed as a comment for the [[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]] episode involving an embarrassing email.</blockquote>

;old-fashioned<blockquote>
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Holding a belief that may be considered politically incorrect.

<blockquote>''But still, call me '''old-fashioned''' but, I'd rather be- I would not- I'd uh- I'd definitely wouldn't uh... NOT BLACK. Not black.''<ref>[[Mumble_4]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''My father is '''OLD FASHIONED'''; he NEVER gives thought to homos, and he HATES them too.''<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to regard most traditional beliefs and rituals to be offensive to the general public.

2. ''(adjective)'' Dating back to the 1980s.

<blockquote>''Ah, you can tell this is an '''old-fashioned''' Lego set on account of this—the old-fashioned "LegoLand" on the corner.''<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to believe anything that's been made more than 5 years ago is as old as dirt.

3. ''(adjective)'' Preferring real women over waifus.
<blockquote>''Nothing against waifus and the people who have them, but I Never Really understood the appeal and concept of making out a character from a show who is Dimensions Away from your own league to be any sort of a significant other to you. I’m more '''old-fashioned''' towards real women.''<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Opinion on waifus]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. However, Chris seemed to use this word like this because he's aware it isn't considered customary to be sexually attached to fictional characters over real people.

</blockquote>

;ounce of vagina

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Essentially Chris's way of saying "I'll at least lose my virginity at some point".

<blockquote>''And, as for you, Jason Kendrick Howell… as sure as I am to get at least one '''ounce of vagina''', I have your number, and you're going down!''<ref name=AttentionAll/></blockquote>

Origin: Obviously confused when it comes to both euphemisms and basic units of measure, Chris has stated that he is sure to get "at least one ounce of vagina" within his lifetime.<ref name=AttentionAll/> In the years since, he's gotten at least [[Mia Hamm|two]] [[Barbara Chandler|ounces]].
</blockquote>
;outercourse
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the act of stimulating someone else's genitals.

<blockquote>''I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of '''outtercourse''''' [sic]'' (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you.''<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The word "outercourse" is actually another way to refer to dry humping.<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/outercourse</ref> In Chris's mind however, outercourse simply refers to sex which involves touching another's genitals, because the action happen outside of the body.</blockquote>

;overinexperienced
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Being overly inexperienced.

<blockquote>''My Body is sexually overinexperienced, and Starved.''<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: It apparently didn't occur to Chris that sexual inexperience isn't the least bit comparative, at least not in the context where he intended to use this word.
</blockquote>

;overpowered (or OP)
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' A disproportionate amount of strength, which is worn as a badge of honor.

<blockquote>''If I was a neuro-typical mind, as opposed to '''overpowered''' psychic, I’d have gotten dizzy. ''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A term normally meant to refer to imbalance in game mechanics. Chris adopted the term at some point during or after the [[Idea Guys]] saga as a way to brag about his nonexistent psychic abilities and ludicrously powerful fictional characters.</blockquote>

{{clear}}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== P ==
|-
|

;parkay
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an epic style of running

<blockquote>''Hello there, fans! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown mall, where for the Sonichu franchise and city of CWCville, and everything like that, I'm gonna do a '''parkay''' from this point all the way down to the gara--parking garage where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held.''<ref>[[Sonichu's Edge]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], Chris calls his style of running "parkay". Chris confused his running as a form of parkour, an acrobatic sport typically used in the military as a means of practicing the navigation of a complex environment without the use of equipment. <ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour</ref>. Given Chris's [[speech impediment]], the word "parkour" somehow came out as "parkay".
</blockquote>

;[[Parody|parody]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any work that "borrows" characters, plots, or styles from other pieces of fiction, whether infringing International [[Chris and copyright|Copyright]] Law or otherwise.

<blockquote>''Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise '''parodic'''.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:Issue_8_Cover.jpg</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's understanding of what constitutes as a parody most likely comes from his interest in shows like [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]], the former of which use copyrighted characters to make jokes around them, and the latter of which parodied various clichés found in anime. In his mind, because those shows can get away with using such characters and scenes, that gives him an excuse to do the same thing in his comics as long as he states it's being done as a "parody". Ironically, Whenever Chris spoted an actual parody, he thought that the characters from the original work were being defaced.<ref>[[Parody#Chris does not understand the concept of parody]]</ref></blockquote>

;peanut
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Someone who disregards you, or otherwise does not accept you for who you are.

<blockquote>''So you enjoy it, just do it—don't worry about other people's opi—pinions. Because, uh, compared to the other schools, those people who disregard you are just total '''peanuts'''. And I'm not talkin' Charlie Brown; I'm talkin' 'bout the little nuts after the shells. The real peanut gallery. That would be peanuts, wouldn't it?''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: Apparently derived from "{{w|peanut gallery}}," a term used to describe the hecklers in an vaudeville audience who would throw peanuts at a performer. Chris's own spin on this concept is to dismiss such hecklers as being insignificant like literal peanuts.
</blockquote>

;[[Pedofork|pedofork]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A pedophile.

<blockquote>''I am not a '''pedofork''', you DORKS!!!''<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Created as a half-assed attempt to make "pedophile" rhyme with dork. Coined in Chris's [[Madman Rising]] video, in response to the trolls who were comparing him to [[wikipedia:Herbert_(Family_Guy)| Herbert the Pervert]] from ''Family Guy''.</blockquote>

;Pfalm
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The act of placing your palm over someone's face or the camera, as if it's the viewer's face.

<blockquote>''Be geek, be proud, pfaaaaaalm! Emgo; silly! Silly, silly person. Have a good day, be safe, be good.''<ref>[[CLog 10172017 - Medallion Making]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, it comes from the phrase "palm in your face" which is a phrase [[Emgo316]] uses, combining the words "palm" and "face".<ref>[[Random Thoughts (will be updated from time to time)]]</ref> Even though the CWC-ism was coined by Chris in 2017,<ref>[[Son-Chu Review]]</ref> it was not actively used until 2024.
</blockquote>

;[[Pickle|pickle]]
[[File:Pickle Rick.jpg|right|thumb|Chris bought this back in 2018. The brine-soaked irony!]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A penis, particularly one of [[JERKS|any man that isn't Chris]].

<blockquote>''Do me a favor, draw a VAGINA on my Rosechu, Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' '''PICKLE'''!!!!''<ref>[[:File:Chrisreply3.PNG]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The word "pickle" is one of the few hundred slang words for the word "penis".<ref>https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/PenisTesticlesSlang.pdf</ref> It is unknown why Chris prefers to refer to the penises of other men as "pickles", while he calls his own his "duck", but it may have to do with Chris's sexual insecurity and the fact that he legitimately hates actual pickles <ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates pickles]]</ref>, whereas Chris thinks he's special enough to have a cutesy name for his own penis.</blockquote>

;[[Pmurt]]

<blockquote>1. ''(proper noun)'' The 45th and 47th president of the United States: Donald Trump.

<blockquote>''EID '''PMURT''' EID!!!!!!''<ref>[[Eid, Pmurt, Eid]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Donald Trump's last name, but spelled backwards. In Chris's first usage of this CWC-ism, Chris mentioned how "Trump spelled backward is "Pmurt", which sounds like "hurt".<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>
Due to Chris's strong hatred for Trump, he frequently referred to Trump as Pmurt- believing that the spoken word of a backwards name has the power to degrade and weaken a person.<ref>[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref>. In Chris's eyes, if he repeated the word again and again, everyone would turn against Trump and start voting for [[Wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|Hillary]]. Unsurprisingly, Chris had no sway over the election aside from his own vote.
</blockquote>

;point at your snout and oink
<blockquote>1. ''(verb phrase)'' Do something humiliating to yourself.

<blockquote>''You both want me to even Beg, you can go '''point at your own damn snouts and Oink''' like Eric Cartman, and then [[Rape]] yourselves with your own Damn [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]] [[Sex toys|Dual LightSabre]].''<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A reference to a scene in the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "{{w|Scott Tenorman Must Die}}", where Scott makes Eric Cartman embarass himself by singing a song about being a "little piggy". Chris said this to [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Surfshack Tito]] upon failing to receive a cash bounty for destroying his own [[PlayStation 3]].
</blockquote>

;poke
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Marijuana.

<blockquote>''Anyway, eclectic! High on the hedge and high on the hog. You want some of this '''poke''', mon?<ref>[[CWC address to Royal Board]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Intended as a demonstration of what "Soni-Chew the Eclectic Heeedge Hog Poke Mon of London, England" would sound like. A coded reference to Pokémon, and may or may not be a play on the verb "toke".
</blockquote>

;[[Polyamorous marriage|polyamorous]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Polygamous.

<blockquote>''I go'' [sic] ''married to Magi-Chan Sonichu and Cryzel Rosechu last March, and then I married Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo last June. We all share a '''polyamorous''' relationship.''<ref>[[:File:Miss_Cherry_asks_Chris_about_his_marriages.png]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An etymologically malformed neologism from the 1970's for having multiple romantic or sexual relations at once, misapplied by Chris. </blockquote>

;prawns
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Subordinates or helpers, often those wittingly or unwittingly aiding a sinister character.

<blockquote>''You keep sending out your '''prawns''' to do your dirty work, you coward.''<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris almost certainly meant to type "pawns" here. </blockquote>

;[[Prickly-Wicklies|prickly-wicklies]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Punishments given for insulting or harming Chris.

<blockquote>''War gets you '''prickly-wicklies'''... as well as punches.''<ref>[[Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies#Possible origin]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Refer to ''Fuzzy-Wuzzies''.

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#F|fuzzy-wuzzies]]

</blockquote>

;[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb]]
<blockquote>1. ''(backronym)'' The headquarters of several Sonichu villains.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: The name itself is a backronym of the college Chris attended, the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. After experiencing several mishaps throughout his college experience<ref>[[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of English]]</ref><ref>[[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of college]]</ref>, the dean giving him the cold hard truth about why his [[Love Quest]] is doomed to fail became the straw that broke the camel's back, and Chris thought it would be a smart idea to deface the college afterward in his comics.</blockquote>

;prowldent
<blockquote>1. ''(???)'' Unknown.

<blockquote>There's no quote to cite this from, just a logo in which Chris gives the name "Prowldent Virginia Community College" to [[PVCC]].<ref>[[:File:ProwldentVCC.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Likely combining connotations of "prowl" and "dent" (either to leave an indentation or [[fangs|teeth]]).
</blockquote>

;Pu Tuhs!
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Shut Up!

<blockquote>''SHE; my Ariel Starter was Female from the start, so '''Pu Tuhs!'''''<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Favorite Pokemon]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: "Shut up" backwards. Because it is backwards, Chris thinks it is more debasing than the normal version of the phrase.
</blockquote>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Q ==
|-
|

;q-sand
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Short for quarter sandwich (i.e. a quarter of a sandwich).

<blockquote>
''So, mom ignored her and ate the '''q-sand''' in front of her.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Appeared in an [[Jackie E-mails 31|e-mail]] sent to [[Jackie]] dated August 5, 2011. Most likely unnecessarily used as a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|way past cool]] abbreviation.
</blockquote>

;quarters
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An office space; headquarters.

<blockquote>''Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her '''quarters''' and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY.''<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whenever Chris says that he's being brought to someone's office, he always refers to it as their "quarters", as if he was being brought to some kind of evil hideout. This could be to add unnecessary dramatic effect to his stories.

2. ''(noun, pl.)'' coins, no matter their origin or worth.

<blockquote>''Uhh. I want a soda, but it takes only C '''quarters''' and I only have W quarters. Do you have any change?''<ref>[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The first time this word was used like this was in [[Sonichu 9]], where it is revealed that [[CWCville]] issues its currency in the form of "C-quarters" and "W-quarters". According to this issue, 10 C-quarters, make up a single W-quarter, which ultimately defeats the whole concept of the "quarter" coin. Despite being a part of the United States, CWC-ville still issues this strange form of currency, along with US dollars. Because of this, Chris likely decided to refer to his currency as "quarters" so that it could technically count as US currency.</blockquote>

;quite
<blockquote>1. ''(exclamation)'' A fancy replacement of the word "right" or "correct".

<blockquote>''Arthur: Magi-Chan, it's because of his-- you know, he wants to help all of his friends, and with his ability to contact them all simultaenously at the same time, it's an amazing ability to have.</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Chris: '''Quite''', he is the psychic type, after all.''<ref name=CatKnight>[[CatKnight Interview]]''</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adverb)'' to the utmost or most absolute extent or degree; absolutely; completely.

<blockquote> ''Hm. Not enough to, uhh... Well, he knows quite-- he can see '''quite''' a bit far into the future, but although there are details of which you might not be able to see, a point or two.'' <ref name=CatKnight/></blockquote>

<blockquote>''For a hundred dollars? Th-that's, that's '''quite''', that's uh, it'd take more funds for me to, more funds than that for me to be able to acquire the material figures...''<ref name=CatKnight/></blockquote>

Origin: Chris infamously used this word, along with "indeed" ad nauseam in his interview with [[Arthur Spatchcock]], believing that doing so is essentially the same as speaking his language, British if you will.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== R ==
|-
|

;raincoat
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a condom.

<blockquote>''You ARE the woman...we gotta stop by [[Mal-Wart|Wall-Mall-Wart]] on the way for a "'''raincoat'''".''<ref>[[Sonichu 7 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The term "raincoat" is actually an archaic slang term for the word "condom".<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/raincoat</ref> Given that Chris has been raised by two geezers his whole life, and that part of his childhood has consisted of [[Gilligan's Island|old TV shows]], Chris thought that people would understand what he meant when he states that his Mary Sues are having protected sex with a raincoat.</blockquote>

;[[random-access humor]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' non-sequitur.

<blockquote>''Punchy grew up in a dojo, where he perfected his punches. He is also full of '''random-access humor'''. He lost his tail in a brutal fight.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP5.htm</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, his brain is completely random, and it always spews out incoherent garbage. In his mind, this works in the same way a computer processes random-access memory.<ref name=FatherCall/>

</blockquote>

;rapier
[[File:ReldnahcTheRapier .jpg|thumb|Reldnahc the Rapier]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun, attributive)'' rapist, sexual assailant.

<blockquote>
''Now! My '''rapier''' friend, I would very much like you to get off me, please.''<ref>[[Sonichu 12]], [[:File:SchuComic12-1P60.jpg|page 60]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris-Chan Sonichu calls [[Reldnahc_Notsew_Naitsirhc#Fictional_biography|Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] his "rapier friend" in [[Sonichu 12|Sonichu #12]] after Reldnahc tackles him to the ground in a suggestive pose and touches his chest, thus (in Chris's hyperbolic mind) "raping" him. As a double double entendre, he could also be using the externally attested definition, as an adjective meaning "witty",<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rapier#Adjective</ref> and metaphorically referring to a kind of thin, sharp-pointed sword. This is incredibly unlikely due to Chris's basic understanding of the English language, and he most likely didn't know "rapist" is the term for one who rapes, not raper or rapier.
</blockquote>

;reality cartoon

<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' The universe.

<blockquote>
''Life is a cartoon; we are all the characters of the larger; the cartoons we make are part of our own universe; we're all a '''reality cartoon'''.''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#"Life is a cartoon"]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Since Chris's life revolves mainly around [[Vidya]] and cartoons, it would make sense to him that the most believable explanation for the universe and everything in it is that it's all a cartoon. Likely related to Chris's known belief that [[Chris and reality#Fictional characters and media|all fiction actually exists in alternate universes]]. Chris's interactions with the [[Idea Guys]] made this idea seem even more plausible to him.
</blockquote>

;[[recycling]]

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' the act of one ingesting their own semen to preserve their sperm count.

<blockquote> I '''recycle''' my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref> </blockquote>

Origin: Chris, having [[Chris and science|very little knowledge]] of how the male reproductive system works, thinks that men can run out of sperm from masturbating or orgasming too much. Fearing the loss of "potential children", Chris actually thinks that by ingesting the sperm back into his body, his sperm count will stay in balance, thus, he is "recycling" it.

</blockquote>

;[[Redemption Arc]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's alleged period of redemption.

<blockquote> I am in my '''Redemption Arc'''. Please be kind to me, I have repented. All of you should be Soul Searching.<ref>[[:File:HarmonyCon Redemption Arc card.jpg]]</ref> </blockquote>

Origin: Named after the common trope found in fiction, where a villainous character atones for past actions.

</blockquote>

;reeb
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|Glug! Glug! Glug!]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' beer or any other alcoholic beverage of the like.

<blockquote>''Then he glugs his '''reeb''', heh-heh, and then he conks out.''<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, thinking he's so [[Slow-in-the-minds|clever]], decided to censor any mention of the word "beer" in his comics, by spelling the word backward.</blockquote>

;Resident-Evil refrigerator

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The refrigerator in the previous Chandler Household.

<blockquote>''Kitchen very much blocked off all over... with the '''Resident Evil refrigerator''' right there.''<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House II]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris refers to the fridge as the "Resident Evil" kind, because in Japan, the game ''{{w|Resident Evil}}'' is known as ''Biohazard''. Considering the quality of the household, that name may very well fit the description of the fridge in the state it was in before filming the [[Tour of Chris's House II|Second House Tour]].</blockquote>

;[[Respectable Frames]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's aviator glasses.

<blockquote>''Grandmother Glasses? These are Respectable Frames I have picked out from Wal-Mart.''<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris defends the pedo-glasses]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in [[Mailbag 20]] in protest of a troll disrespectfully calling his glasses "grandmother glasses".</blockquote>

;romps in the hay

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' sexual intercourse

<blockquote>''This page, by the way, was drawn before last March, so stuff Has Happened since then, it is all good. Go ahead and Muck It Up in your heads, Trolls; I Am BiSexual, and I Laugh at your Jokes. (Awesome Romps in the hay with him, as well as Cryzel)''<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has used this term since at least 2018.
</blockquote>

;[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The female counterpart of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]].</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: Derived from the appropriately named first Rosechu of CWCville, [[Rosechu]]. The name of the species is a portmanteau of the last name of the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' character, Amy Rose, and "Raichu", the evolved form of a Pikachu.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== S ==
|-
|

;[[saga]]
<blockquote>1 ''(noun)'' An ongoing event within Chris's life.

<blockquote>''A Sonichu Special: CWC's Love Quest '''Saga'''''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris was actually the first to use the term "saga" as Christorians know it today, using it as such when describing his Love Quest on the cover of [[Sonichu 4]]. It wasn't until the Miyamota Saga when the term was used by Christorians to describe ongoing events in Chris's life as we know it.</blockquote>

;salty
<blockquote>1 ''(adjective)'' showing more maturity or coarseness than is expected, especially knowledge of [[honest]] topics like [[Chris and sex|sex]].

<blockquote>''Ah, but I am not the weak person they think I am; I am much, much '''saltier'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based upon a line from "Bowling Girls", ninth episode of ''[[Excel Saga]]'': "But I'm not the sweet little girl I was a few minutes ago! I'm much, much saltier now!" "Salty" in this context derives from naval lingo, since the most experienced sailors would have greater exposure to both the saltwater seas and worldly experiences.
</blockquote>

;[[Scale of Respect|scale of respect]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's way of measuring his respect for other people.

<blockquote>''I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my '''Scale of Respect''' each by 2 points''<ref>[[Scale of Respect]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, like most other autistics, tends to view the world based on numerical values due to their lack of understanding of certain abstract concepts such as respect. Because of this, Chris made his very own numerical scale to decide on who should be respected, compared to who shouldn't.</blockquote>

;Scooby-Doo Detective
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Mocking term for amateur or faulty investigative reasoning based on misguided, simplistic or weak evidence.

<blockquote>''Of course, ONLY as far as all of you know, since the less than '''Scooby-Doo detective''' skills and lack of psychic power practice makes the majority, I am capable of thinking and processing faster.''<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#What got Chris into Sonic?]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based on the Scooby-Doo animated series where the main characters, who are amateur teenaged detectives, often solved simple and predictable mysteries. </blockquote>

;seinor
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Misspelling of senior.

<blockquote>''A cool Junior or '''Seinor'''-Year student, and follow their example on asking others out''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An example of how the “i before e rule” escapes Chris.

</blockquote>

;self-epic
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' describing a situation which is epic, and at the same time related to Chris and his various clones.

<blockquote>''And I will square-off in the TRULY '''SELF-EPIC''' Battle between me, and my Dark Half.''<ref>[[An Important Update]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: [[Chris and his Ego|Self-explanatory]].</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;self-masturbation
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Mass debating|masturbation]].

<blockquote>'''''Self-masturbation''' is really arduous and annoying.''<ref name=15min>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris decided to add the prefix "self-" to make it clear that he was stroking his own [[duck]], apparently unaware that use of said prefix is redundant (the term masturbation typically implies self-pleasure unless one specifies otherwise).</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;self-sexually active
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' in the habit of [[Mass debating|masturbating]].

<blockquote>''And Another Thing, yes, I will admit I was '''self-sexually active'''; WAS. You all turned me off of Sex LONG Before I even thought of coming out as Trans in ‘14.''<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#On seeing his father's penis]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A modification of "sexually active".</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;ship
[[File:Chillaxingcard.jpg|200px|thumb|An example of a "shipping".]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An act of two or more OCs interacting with or performing any given action towards one another, regardless of any romantic feelings.

<blockquote>''You must take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this '''Ship'''. That card's power activates. At the end of the turn, until the Pony card attached with this '''Ship''' is discarded of removed from the grid, it gains the Keyword Villain.''<ref>[[:File:EpicOnlineBully.jpeg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An abbreviation of the word "relationship". Chris learned the term from the card game ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]'', a My Little Pony fan game satirizing the popular internet trend of shipping. He used the game as another creative medium to sell items to fans, trolls, weens, and enablers.</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;shitful
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' hurtful; defamitory.

<blockquote>''And this is the last time I will ever say anything in response to your '''shitful''' and hurtful comments and hatred for Hate's Sake!''<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Shitful is a vulgar slang word, synonymous with words like "boat-load" or "truck-load". Chris may have seen the "shit" part of this word and assumed that it was a more profane version of "hateful". Disregarding its actual meaning, the word to Chris is used for situations that seem "shitty" to him.</blockquote>

;[[SLGBTQ]]

<blockquote>1. ''(acronym)'' an extended acronym for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) which includes "straights" and "questioning people".

<blockquote>''Considering your logo there, Texas will be feeling more love from the '''SLGBTQ''' community; give us props and Love, Lone Star State.''<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Hurricane Harvey and SLGBT]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris first used this acronym, he didn't explain what groups the "S" or "Q" were supposed to represent, making plenty of people confused. Eventually, Chris revealed that the "S" represents '''s'''traight and cis-gender people, while "Q" represents "'''q'''ueers" or "'''q'''uestioning people". Chris believes that if he included straight people into LGBT, then those particular people would feel more invited to join into the community. Considering the fact that gay people are minorities, adding the "S" to LGBT only defeats the entire purpose of identifying people as LGBT in the first place.</blockquote>

;[[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a mentally handicapped person

<blockquote>''And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "'''slow-in-the-minds'''" on it.''<ref name=AWeekWith>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: While the exact origin of the term is unknown, slow-in-the-minds was first used by Chris in a high school assignment.<ref>[[Manchester High Leaks#Help This Unborn Child]]</ref> "Slow-in-the-minds" works as a stand in for the less-socially-acceptable "retard", so it's possible that Chris created this CWC-ism in order to self-censor.

</blockquote>

;slow-minded

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' mentally retarded

<blockquote>''As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look '''slow-minded'''; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest.''<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#February]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''OK, I can definitely name you a few reasons, like there was this one [stutters] …there was this one '''slow-minded''' individual named Tony. He was like as big as-he was as big and strong as an ox. He just kept on making all the moanings and noises and whatnot, and he sometimes even-even-a couple of times he even spat on me, and he even bopped me on the back of the head once or twice during the whole-during the whole time I knew him there.''<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' stupid, but not quite retarded

<blockquote> ''I'll admit I have had some '''slow-minded''' moments. But I am certainly not totally retarded.''<ref>[[Father Call#Crossing the Naïve Line (1:46:21-1:52:36)]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!
[[Image:SNERGEN FLERGEN!.PNG|thumb|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' A phrase one may shout out when asked for attendance.

<blockquote>'''''SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!'''''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic9P6.jpg]]</ref>
''-What?''

''Uh...here!''
</blockquote>

Origin: An obvious example of Chris's [[CWC-isms#R|random-access humor]]. This weird phrase appeared in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], when the cast was asked for their attendance during a [[CWC-isms#D|Dating Education]] class. When [[Wild Sonichu]] was asked for his attendance, he blurted out this phrase as Chris's many attempts to be funny in his comics. Given Chris's childish sense of humor, it would make a whole lot of sense for him to include a character randomly blurt out a nonsensical phrase out of nowhere.</blockquote>

;snooze cruise
<blockquote>1. a long period of slumber

<blockquote> ''Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" '''snooze cruise''', but I was.''<ref name=AWeekWith/></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]'', in the Super Sonic's Story cutscenes, after Sonic gets woken up by Tails: "I was on a snooze cruise, I guess!"

</blockquote>

;somecummpentydifferent
<blockquote>1. ''(Phrase)'' Used to announce a change in subject.

<blockquote>''Anyway and now for somecummpentydifferent stay tuned for '''somecummpentydifferent''' — a bunch of good pushups!''<ref>[[Getting Foam Ed]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(Phrase)'' Used to announce use of [[random-access humor]].

<blockquote>''And now for '''somecummpentydifferent'''. BUUUUNG! And now it's Monty Python's flying elephants. Du tu du tu du tu du. Du tu du tu du tu du. Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Greeg, why is people running away.''<ref>[[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Note this is the very first thing he says, so there's nothing to be completely different ''from''.</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris is trying to say "And now for something completely different" like John Cleese does on [[Monty Python]]. Suffice to say Cleese's ability to say three multisyllabic words in rapid succession exceeds that of Chris.</blockquote>

;[[Tobacky|somkey]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' The quality of having smoked recreationally, be it tobacco, marijuana, or some other substance.

<blockquote>''Thank our mayor, Mr. Christian Weston Chandler that CWCville is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or '''somkey'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A simple corruption of the word 'Smokey', used by [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] during their report on [[Sonichu 8#Spring Break, 2008!|Spring Break, 2008!]].
</blockquote>

;[[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]
<blockquote>1. (noun) The male counterpart of the Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: Derived from the appropriately named first Sonichu of CWCville, Sonichu. The name of the species is a portmanteau of the name of the titular character of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'', Sonic, and "Pikachu".</blockquote>

;soo
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' Very, Very much.

<blockquote>''Dear Blanca, I am '''soo''' happy that you were revealed as my True, Honest Sweetheart-To-Be''<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Blanca]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In writing, Chris often adds extra o's to the word "so" to prolong the "o" sound and show added emphasis. This has the (unintentional?) effect of mimicking the speech patterns of a Valley Girl or an effeminate homosexual. However, where most people would add two or more o's, (e.g., "I love you sooo much!"), Chris frequently only adds one, resulting in "soo," which makes the word look like it's supposed to be pronounced "sue".

This may originate from pamphlets published by [http://www.channing-bete.com/ Channing Bete], [[Autism|short and uninformative]] self-help pamphlets often handed out at churches, the last page of which often feature a summary headlined by "Soo…" Given his distrust of help from anyone other than [[Rocky]], it is not entirely impossible that Chris has read Channing Bete pamphlets occasionally.

This is one of many recurring jokes in the [[Sonichu Audiobooks]] in which the narrator pronounces words like "soo" as they are literally spelled, instead of how Chris intended them to be read.
</blockquote>

;soul-bonding
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Sexual intercourse as a means of purifying someone.

<blockquote>What had happened was Literally a Divine Mission, commissioned to Christine and I by Emanuel (GOD above Gods), herself, to Heal and Cleanse Barbara's health and soul and being and Clear her of remaining sins and regrets through Coddling, Talking, and Supportive '''Soul Bonding''' to mainly Extend her Life, personally by Divine Intervention.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has somehow come under the delusion that having sex with his mother would "purify" her, and extend her lifetime, all through the act of bonding each other's souls.

</blockquote>

;soup beds
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Homeless shelter with beds

<blockquote>'' I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have '''soup beds'''. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS!''<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris tries to distill his "soup hotel" idea into its two components, but he mangles one of them by retaining the "soup" prefix.
</blockquote>

;sourdough region
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The crotch area

<blockquote>''Its weak point is still the '''sourdough region''', but it would take FIVE KICKS to get to it''<ref>[[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In his Sonichu comics, Chris has decided to make the main weakness of the jerkops their crotch. The weakest of the jerkops take only one kick to be taken down, while higher-ranking jerkops like [[Jerkhief]], take five. The reason why Chris refers to this spot as the "sourdough region" is unknown, but most of his other CWC-isms already tend to sound so nonsensical to begin with, it barely even matters.</blockquote>

;spike on one's shoulder
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' refers to the act of holding grievances towards someone.

<blockquote>''There was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he had a '''spike on his shoulder''' against me.''<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A confusion with the phrase "chip on one's shoulder".</blockquote>

;spot
<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' A small amount.

<blockquote>''the recent 43.98 purchase was actually a ''spot'' of Wheeling and Dealing I did; I actually spent less to make a profit.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 15]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris likes to retardedly incorporate British English into his sentences when he has the chance, possibly to sound more classy than he actually is. The phrase "A spot of X" is a British English idiom referring to a small amount of something.</blockquote>

;sticky dream
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A wet dream

<blockquote>''After falling back asleep Chris had a "'''sticky dream'''."''<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris claims that a "wet dream" actually refers to wetting one's bed as opposed to nocturnal emission.
</blockquote>

;straight path
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The quality of being heterosexual and cisgender

<blockquote>''And, besides, if you stray away from the '''straight path''', it can really jeopardize the entire future of the world and the human race.<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris had an intense fear of "falling off the straight path". When he states this, he is essentially referring to being on the path to straightness, in the same way a normal person would refer to someone being on the path to success. Chris also had this unrealistic idea that being in contact with gay men would suddenly make him gay too, making him fall off the path. Possibly also an allusion to the phrase "straight and narrow" and/or the Biblical passage Matthew 7:14: "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."</blockquote>

</blockquote>
;[[Sub-Episodes|sub-episode]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The side stories in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comics.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: A result of Chris's use of [[Chris and English#Television jargon|television jargon]] in his comics.</blockquote>

;sumbah
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Minced oath for "son of a bitch."

<blockquote>''Yo, Christian, thanks for saving my sister from that crazy '''sumbah'''''<ref>[[Sonichu Special 4]], page K-4</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Probably based upon "sumbitch."
</blockquote>

;[[Sweetbolt|sweetbolt]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A pet name used by [[CWC-isms#E|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]].

<blockquote>''Ahh..that salad was great! What's wrong '''sweetbolt'''?''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP11.htm</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' A sweetheart.

<blockquote>''I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your '''SweetBolt'''. :)?''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP11.htm</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris first worked on his Sonichu comics, he tried to incorporate as many references to electricity as he can to match with the Pikachu part of the titular character. A portmanteau of the CWC-ism "sweetheart" and "bolt".
</blockquote>

;[[Sweetheart|sweetheart]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A potential lover.

<blockquote>''Oh, gee, I'm sorry Bionic, but back then I was na- I was naive on dating and all that, so I just didn't think of it at the time. But if you a '''sweetheart''', Meg has created quite a few foxy characters. If she's cool with it, you could go out with one of them.''<ref>[[Sonichu 6 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Another cutesy pet name given to candidates of his Love Quest.</blockquote>

;[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An ideal sweetheart beyond the friend zone.

<blockquote>''For days to weeks to months to years, I Felt So Lonesome and Incomplete. But I didn't STOP! In the name of Love, and the fact that there had to be a Boyfriend-Free Girl out there, somewhere, for me to get to know, grow a strong companionship with and make into a '''Sweetheart from the Ground-Up''', so in later years, after the inevitability of my parents leaving me, I WON'T BE ALONE. And I can eventually realize my dream of being a good husband, and father of a pretty girl named Crystal.''<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: As stated, Chris intended to use this weird phrase to indicate that he wants an ideal gal-pal well beyond the friend zone. Chris thought this phrase sounded so clever that he used it constantly.</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== T ==
|-
|

;teenages

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The 13-19 age group; teenage years.

<blockquote>''Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all '''teenages''', as well as the, uh, gals.''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: In Chris's [[Future Message]], he attempts to talk down to just about every age group. In order to do this, he starts his video off with the quote above. Chris clearly couldn't think of a way to refer to teenagers, so he decided to refer to such people by "teenages". A butchering of "people of all ages".</blockquote>

;teir
[[File:Teir.png|thumb|200|Chris spelling tier wrong.]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Misspelling of tier.

<blockquote>''$1 '''Teir'''''<ref>[[Patreon]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Yet another example of how Chris is unaware of “i before e”. In a June 2019 update, he managed to spell tier wrong throughout multiple descriptions, despite the correctly-spelled word being visible right on the page.</blockquote>

;telekinesis

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Telepathy, i.e. communication through long distances, usually via psychic or supernatural means.

<blockquote>''I’ve been communicating with her through '''telekinesis''', and she sounded very lonesome.''<ref>[[Silvana]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whereas tele'''kine'''sis means ''moving'' objects from a distance with psychic powers (c.f. ''[[wikipedia:kinetic energy|kinetic]]''), Chris has never used the term properly. [[Magi-Chan|Psychic]] [[Silvana|characters]] in the [[comic]] have both powers of telekinesis and telepathy, but Chris has only used the former to refer to both.
</blockquote>

;Temple

<blockquote>1. [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]].
<blockquote>''Food for Barbara is also appreciated, and Visitors who personally offer genuine Kindness and Good Intentions are all encouraged to visit the '''Temple'''.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In [[2019]] Chris designated his house as the "Temple of CWC Sonichu" due to his growing [[Messiah complex]].
</blockquote>

;That was a straw that sold the blade to the executioner

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' That was the final straw.

<blockquote>''And on top of that, literally doxing someone on [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwi]], because someone has a hold over [[Bismuth|Naught]] to the point of him having to feel very insecure about himself. And the topper, in my eyes, one of y'all sent threats to [[Praetor|Anni]]. Fortunately, she completely missed and overlooked that memo in her inbox. '''That was a straw that sold the blade to the executioner'''.''<ref>[[MKR DMs]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used the phrase in listing his grievances against some members of the [[Watchmen]].
</blockquote>

;theoretical ex

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' One of the trolls who posed as a potential love interest for Chris during the classic period of trolling, between 2008 and 2011; a catfish, generally-speaking.

<blockquote>''Yeah, it’s like, you know, even when I try to make a new relationship, uh, especially among the '''theoretical rex-, exes''' I had, I still could not tell which was which…''<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's history with the trolls]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris started calling the trolls who pretended to be his girlfriends during the classic era "theoretical exes" around the time of his date with [[Catherine|Catie]]. When pressed by Cousin Al as to what he meant, he cited that people may not always be who they say they are on the Internet.
</blockquote>

;This Viral Event

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The worldwide Coronavirus ([[COVID-19]], SARS-CoV-2) outbreak in early [[2020]], which began in [[China]] on New Year's Eve [[2019]] and has since become the most severe pandemic since the Spanish flu of 1918. Regarded by Chris as a trivial excuse to cancel a perfectly good ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention.

<blockquote>''The Bottom Line is that '''This Viral Event''' is actually a better step in our own developments and evolution, as well as a deity-level test to sort out the weak from the moderate and strong of mental and soulful intervals, and nothing else.<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#Chris finally weighs in on the coronavirus pandemic]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's [[Chris and religion|theodicy]] assigns any misfortune in the world to the Dimensional Merge. As the disease's spread has caused many governments to forbid large gatherings as a sanitary measure, it has become a [[Chris and His Ego|personal inconvenience to Chris]]. He believes that the pandemic will soon be stopped by [[OC|fictional characters]]' efforts,<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#COVID-19 a sign of dimensional merge]]</ref> making it nothing but a transient event.</blockquote>

;[[Tobacky|tobacky]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' tobacco or tobacco products

<blockquote>''If I could, I would take every last ounce of '''tobacky''', put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to the Moon.''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: American English slang, used by Chandlers since 1856,<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tobacky#English</ref> and for [[random access humor]] since 1928.<ref>[http://www.uwosh.edu/home_pages/faculty_staff/earns/song.html Back in Nagasaki Where the Fellers Chew Tobaccy]</ref> Chris hates the act of smoking cigarettes so much that even uttering the word "tobacco" makes him feel uncomfortable, so Chris uses this as a retarded {{w|minced oath}}.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref></blockquote>

;tom-tom
[[File:Duck Pounding Some Tom-Tom.jpeg|thumb|A duck pounding some tom-tom real hard]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' female genitalia.

<blockquote>''MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR '''TOM-TOM''' TO POUND!!!!!''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from the short Adult Swim music video, ''Pound my Tom-Tom'', which served as the intro to the cartoon, ''Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil''.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1DVoH0Njow</ref> Considering Chris barely understands anything adult, the fact that this was meant to be a bad euphemism, which the character, Lucy, used to avoid directly mentioning her vagina, flew over his head.</blockquote>

;[[Tomgirl Pictures|tomgirl]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A femboy, which is a person who identifies as male though still cross dresses.

<blockquote>''I am '''Tomgirl'''.''<ref>[[:File:I_am_tomgirl.jpg|PSN comment as of 6 April 2011]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: analogous to "tomboy", i.e. a girl who likes boy-stuff.

</blockquote>

;too many crooks

<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expression of dissatisfaction with an overabundance of evildoers.

<blockquote>''Well, call it--this was "too many crooks." '''Too many crooks!''' Too many crooks! And that ED page is one of those crooks.''<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based upon the idiom, "too many cooks spoil the broth." Although that idiom means something, this is just an incomplete sentence.
</blockquote>

;took my idea for a fall

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Refers to ruining Chris's [[Love Quest]] plans.

<blockquote>''I am very mad and upset, because that JERK took my idea for a fall, just like that XXXXX at PVCC did!''<ref>[[CWC%27s Diary#2004]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this in his poem [[Saddest Heart in the World]] as well as a 2004 diary entry. Appears to be a mangling of "took me for a fool."</blockquote>

;[[Toxic Trio]]

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A combined name for the Watchmen [[Naught]], [[Kyle]], and [[MKRNightVee]]

<blockquote>''Hey, @everyone. For starters, in light of the recent events @Neko has been through, and the light shedding on the toxic trio, an announcement with care for now:
To all of you in my flock, I highly encourage each of you to begin and continue your own individual self-work in enlightenment. For amongst you all, as the Dimension Merge/Collective Shift draws closer upon the main event with the removal of the veil between our universe halves, each of you has your own inner potential and strength. We have no need for war or quarrel at all with the OCs and individuals of C-197, as I state to all of those individuals in regard to us of 1218.''<ref>[[:File:TheKnights1stLayer-26Jun21 - Chris intro.png]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used by Chris when he joined The WCT's [[Knights of CWC]] Discord server after WCT convinced him to distance himself from the "trio".</blockquote>

;triage

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' ménage à trois; a romantic relationship between three people.

<blockquote>''Magi-Chan Sonichu, Silvana Rosechu & Mewtwo / A Loving '''Triage'''''<ref>[[January 2018 Facebook posts‎‎#Mewtwo and Magi-Chan married]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A corruption or misspelling of "triad", possibly influenced by the ending of "ménage". "[[wikipedia:Triage|Triage]]" is a real word with a completely different meaning and unrelated etymology.
</blockquote>

;trollin' stupid

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Very stupid, in a manner pertaining to trolling.

<blockquote>''Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing raping... '''trollin' stupid''' pickle suited... nigger!''<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to have coined this phrase for his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend"]] lyrics with "trollin'" serving as an intensifier along the lines of "fucking."
</blockquote>

;true and honest

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' something [[Honest content|honest]].

<blockquote>''I like sharing my honest feelings with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are '''true and honest''' feelings. SO THERE.''<ref>[[For Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris first used the adjective with reference to his love for [[PandaHalo]], and the adjective was often used by [[Liquid Chris]].
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== U ==
|-
|

;ugly growth

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to refer to his own penis negatively.

<blockquote>''"Did I not just tell you I am Seven Inches Long?! It is soo long, that I am literally able to stretch it Under my taint, and tuck it between my own ass cheeks, beyond my ass hole. With help, I can literally even shove the head of the '''Ugly Growth''' Up Mine!"''<ref>[[Colin Chat 2]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Un-clit|un-clit]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A piercing Chris got on his perrinium as an immitation clitoris.

<blockquote>''It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my '''un-clit'''.''<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: During his Tomgirl years, Chris was, and still is, very desperate to gain female body traits such as bigger breasts, wider hips, a fully functioning vagina, etc. In order to get a part of the work done, Chris got a piercing on his taint as a sort of pseudo-clitoris, showing more of Chris's limited knowledge of female anatomy. </blockquote>

;uncouth
[[File:Uncouth Twat.png|thumb|Most uncouth!]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' unlikeable, lacking good manners.

<blockquote>''And, by the way, among which, You give the Males a Most Terrible and Horrible Name in your behavior. Most '''Uncouth'''.''<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Trump is most Immature, '''Uncouth''', and Not Valid to be president.''<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I felt it appropriate to change my profile photo back to the filtered one for what happened in France the while back with due respect of the continuing of Trump's most drastic and '''uncouth''' actions in office.''<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''You, sir, are '''Uncouth'''.''<ref>[[April 2017 tweets#Trump, you mocked the mentally-challenged]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''All of you are nothing but immature, borish, '''uncouth''', and damned Neanderthals.''<ref>[[Sonic Boom Protests#Chris Rages On]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Not Sexual Fantasy; Friendships, You '''Uncouth''' Cad. Hmpf!''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Unleashing his inner Brit]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And as it Had been My fault on that #NationalGirlfriendTweet that started the whole mess, that was Why I chose whole-heartedly to Harass Me instead of Doopie or Anyone Else who was being harassed with the mis-content from Years Ago from me taken Out Of Context, Mind you, because Harassing Anyone at Anyone else’s Expense is Just Plain Wrong, Bullying, and '''Uncouth'''!''<ref>[[October 2017 tweets]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote> ''And it was ignored by you that Talulah Bankhead coined the term for Tabitha, you '''Uncouth''' Twat.''<ref>[[August_2017_tweets#Tabitha addresses CWC flame war]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I agree it is shameful of these people to have accounts just to haze at me and all others, Soo '''uncouth'''.''<ref>[[NightStar2891 tweets#Twitter spam for Tabitha]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I miss Jessica. You Trolls Scared Her Off by either Hacking or Reporting her Facebook. You '''Uncouth''' Cads!''<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Still missing Quinn]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: As demonstrated, Chris uses this word way more than any 21st-century [[American]] would. It is often speculated that Chris picked up this word from an ''MLP'' episode, where Applebloom and Applejack are talking about what the word "uncouth" means.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-SrQ-Oz1k4</ref> Seeing how this conversation alone is somehow a staple in the Brony subculture, and how Chris is one of those Bronies who sees more [[Night_Star#Chris_spills_the_beans|meaning]] in the show than it actually possesses, Chris likely picked up this term due to how foreign and smart it sounded to him.

Chris is also notorious for his use of British English whenever he tries to make it seem he knows what he's talking about. It is also fairly likely Chris may have adapted this word solely because he thinks British English words will make him sound smarter.
</blockquote>

;[[UNGA-WUNGA]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' A sexual chant from the [[Cherokian Clan]].
<blockquote>''There is no quote to directly cite the use of this CWC-ism. This CWC-ism was used in one of Chris's art pieces appropriately named "UNGA-WUNGA"''</blockquote>
Origin: Comes from a horrifying art piece Chris drew of himself banging [[Jackie]] against a tree while a group of Cherokians masturbate to their orgy.<ref>[[:File:Unga_Wunga_Time.jpg]] (NSFW)</ref> As for the questionably racist phrase itself, Chris simply stated that it was "just a random phrase I randomly picked for the natives to chant as they jerked off."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref></blockquote>

;unto
<blockquote>1. ''(preposition)'' Archaic or poetic form of the word "to".

<blockquote>''Now that it has been made fully clear to me, I am now able to devote myself fully '''unto''' you, Julie.''<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 7]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that [[Mary Lee Walsh|XXXXX]] caused '''unto''' me!''</blockquote>

Origin: Another one of Chris's autistic ways of sounding smart, possibly in imitation of the Bible. (c.f. ''[[Chris and hypocrisy|Do unto others...]]''). Chris uses this form more frequently than most English speakers of the 21st century should, even when it sounds unwieldy.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== V ==
|-
|
;vaginatables

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' female genitalia

<blockquote>''There is no quote to cite the use of this CWC-ism. Chris used this CWC-ism in an e-mail address "ILuvVaginatables@aol.com".''</blockquote>

Origin: A strange hybrid of the words "vagina" and "vegetables", purely for Random-Access Humor.</blockquote>

;vege-marmite

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Vegemite

<blockquote>''Certainly not a '''vege-marmite''' sanwich. Lol''<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-372</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A retarded pun made by Chris to state his distaste for veggie marmite. Coincidentally, vegemite is essentially marmite, yeast extract from brewing beer turned into a pungent, salty paste, with vegetables and spices added in.<ref>{{w|Vegemite}}</ref></blockquote>

;vestite

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A transvestite person.

<blockquote>''"That is the difference between Trans Gender and '''Vestites'''; ID as the other sex, and dressing like it, respectively"''<ref name=Vestites/></blockquote>

Origin: In the above post, Chris intended to write the words "transgender" and "transvestite" in the same sentence without duplicating the trans suffix. He did so by adding a space between the prefix and the respective endings. It is worth mentioning that "Vestite" is a word in Latin, and simply refers to being clothed, without any connotations regarding cross-dressing.</blockquote>

;[[Virgin with Rage|virgin with rage]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An individual who is sexually frustrated

<blockquote>''Tell me why
I'm stuck as a '''virgin with rage'''!
Tell me why
I so need a cute girl my age!
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"''<ref>[[So Need a Cute Girl]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The idea of being a virgin and not having a sweetheart was something that greatly upsetted Chris. He would throw tantrums after losing a potential sweetheart, and thus missing out on an opportunity to lose his virginity.</blockquote>

;[[Virginia is for virgins]]

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase that pushes the idea that the citizens of Virginia won't allow Chris to get a girlfriend solely due to his autism.

<blockquote>"'''VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS''', NOT LOVERS!"<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: An intentional butchering of the phrase "Virginia is for Lovers". His belief that the state of Virginia is behind some kind of conspiracy to prevent him from finding true love has started since attending [[PVCC]]. While there, Chris has gotten himself putting up Attraction Signs, loitering with said signs on campus, and even creating a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter series]] in order to attract potential sweethearts. Seeing how all of this violated the school's rules and policies, he was sent directly to the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Dean]] in order for her to straighten him out.<ref>[[Virginia is for Virgins#Origins]]</ref> Of course, Chris took this to be another instance of him being discriminated, solely for being autistic. This, coupled with the fact that he's already failed on several occasions to actually get to date any of his his female friends in high school, reinforced this belief. </blockquote>

;VOTES FOR WOMEN!
[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly misinterpreted.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase shouted in protest of pictures depicting women with penises.

<blockquote>'''''VOTES FOR WOMEN''', STEP IN TIME! VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME! NEVER NEED A REASON, NEVER NEED A RHYME, VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME!''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P52.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from a sash Mrs. Banks, a character from [[Mary Poppins]], had worn. Chris clearly took this banner to simply refer to any kind of mistreatment towards women, rather than the fairly obvious implication that she's actually fighting for the right to vote.</blockquote>

<blockquote>''See Also'': [[CWC-isms#W|Women's Rights]]
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== W ==
|-
|

;Walter Grisby
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A man's name often employed in acts of random-access humor.

<blockquote>''"Is this '''Walter Grisby'''? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what? DAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"''<ref>[[Random-access humor]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The retconned name of the character formerly known as [[Wes Iseli]].

Origin: Unknown; thought by some to be a reference to the Cartoon Network show ''Ed, Edd n Eddy''. A character in the PC game ''The Sims 3'' goes by the name of Walter Grisby, but the game's release post-dates Chris's first uses of the term by some years.
</blockquote>

; Warroir of Love
[[Image:WarriorOfLove.jpg|thumb|300px|History's greatest warroirs.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an advocate for spreading love and peace.

<blockquote>''"People! You do not understand! By Not blocking the Trolls, you are Promoting Hatred; They don't always side with Love. I Am '''Warroir of Love'''."''<ref>[[BlockTheTrolls#Campaign]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Misspelling of the word "warrior". Chris considers himself a "warrior of love" because he believes that he is the [[Chris and kindness|voice of kindness]]. Most likely derived from the derogatory term "Social Justice Warrior", a term used for individuals who advocate for social justice and equality.
</blockquote>

; water on the rocks
[[File:Water and Dasani.jpeg|thumb|200px|Literally a drink on the rocks.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' water poured over Chris's [[magic stones]] for drinking.

<blockquote>''#DrinkWater; Filtered or Bottled, preferred; Quartz, Rose Quartz, or Amethyst optional to enjoy it '''on the rocks''' (held in place with aluminum wire).''<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#watch anime to kill coronavirus]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''staying hydrated with more than 101.4 ounces of filtered '''water on the rocks''' within a #Glacce bottle''<ref>[[January 2021 social media posts#GFuel and meditation]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In accordance with his [[Magical thinking|New Age]] beliefs, Chris purchased a Glacce water bottle for $80+, which features a crystal display set inside. He later placed one of his [[magic stones]] into it, crudely held in by aluminum wire, and refers to drinking from the bottle as "water on the rocks."
</blockquote>

;well-breasted
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Having large breasts.

<blockquote>''And her image dawned upon me in my imagination, starting out as the '''well-breasted''' pink electric-hedgehog (Pok'emon) with the long Raichu-like tail, I drew her outfit onto her in red and Battery-Charged Blue.''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Rosechu|CWCipedia article on Rosechu}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Confusion between "well-endowed" and "large-breasted".

</blockquote>

;witching hours
<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' The time between midnight and 4 AM that Chris cannot fall asleep during.

<blockquote>'' I know that I'm gonna be more effective with the '''witching hours''' during the night once again, whether I'm asleep or not, okay.<ref>[[Animated Everfree Message]]</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: May have been picked up from Chris's increasing interest in the [[Magical thinking|occult]]. Generally, the phrase refers to the midnight hours, with the term being inspired by the ancient belief that supernatural events, like witches, demons, and ghosts, are at their most powerful at midnight. Chris adopted the phrase in reference to his [[Biological clock|unusual sleep schedule]].

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#B|biological clock]]
</blockquote>

;Woahly
<blockquote> 1. ''(interjection)'' Expression indicating surprise.
<blockquote>'' Who is it Rosey? The Stew's almost ready and I... '''Woahly'''..!''<ref>[[:File:Sonichu15-2019draft-p11.png]]</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: Portmanteau of "woah" and "holy... (as in the beginning of saying holy shit)," found in [[Sonichu 15]].
</blockquote>

;woman up
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' The female equivalent of manning up.

<blockquote>''Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and '''woman up''' [Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"] respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!''</blockquote>

Origin: Used in the second part of Chris’s Autism Tutorial, where he insultingly attempts to rally up all autistic people (regardless of their functionality) to form proper friendships, all while missing the point of “manning up”.
</blockquote>

;[[Women's rights]] (or Women's Lib)
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Any kind of behavior towards women that does not involve abusing them physically or mentally.

<blockquote>''Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the '''Women's Rights''', For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.''<ref>[[Other documents]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The right for women to not be depicted with a [[CWC-isms#P|pickle]].

<blockquote>''FOR OUR '''RIGHTS AS WOMEN''' AMONG ALL PEOPLE, I WILL OVERPOWER THOSE SLANDEROUS JERKS!!!''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P58.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(noun)'' The act of women protesting by stripping down naked.

<blockquote>''Well, once we get our centerfolds shot and uploaded, hopefully those bastards will see and admire our beautiful lights.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Yeah, and if nothing else, we can still have a lot of fun trying.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''With our lord's support in our peaceful protest, we can win this fight.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Victory for '''Women's Lib'''''.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P51.jpg]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Chris's understanding of sexism is botched up beyond belief. His zeal towards the rights of women is believed to have originated from watching the 1964 Disney film, Mary Poppins. He was particularly influenced by Mrs. Banks, who has expressed distaste for unequal treatment for women in 1910 London. As to be expected, Chris missed the point of this part of her character, and instead used this in order to justify his treatment towards the women he meets. Chris also believed that the term "sexism" only applies to forms of violence against women, and not necessarily representing in a condescending manner.

</blockquote>

;wooden nickel
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Acoustic guitar.

<blockquote>''I got the idea of the challenge from him COPYING me playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on Guitar Hero on his old '''Wooden Nickel'''; if he wants to copy on Guitar, he may as well be challenged in a Sing-Off.''<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In real life, a wooden nickel is a now defunct form of currency used during the Great Depression. His use probably refers to the phrase "don't take any wooden nickels" - that is, he is calling the acoustic guitar a semi-worthless imitation of his Guitar Hero controller.
</blockquote>

;worse
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' Severely; extremely, in an adverse manner

<blockquote>''IMHO, having Seinor Citizens for Parents throughout your whole life is no picnic; they are '''WORSE''' Overprotective.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;worst mud, muck and bodily fluids

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Mud, among [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|other disgusting things]].

<blockquote>''The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids.''<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: First used by Chris in a June 2012 Facebook post ranting about that damn [[Michael Snyder]]. Refers to having his good name or reputation dragged through the mud, with "bodily fluids" added in an attempt to garner sympathy.
</blockquote>

|-
|
;wrath
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Great [[Chris and anger|anger]] or rage. Considered one of the [[Chris and religion|Seven Deadly Sins]].

<blockquote>''Apparently, my, uh, heed of warning towards Vivian has gone unheard or otherwise SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY '''WRATH'''''<ref>[[Sign Destruction Video]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Strength sufficient to lift an office chair.

<blockquote>''I HAAAVE THE POWEEERRRR!!! FEEL MY '''WRATH'''!!''<ref>[[Power]]</ref></blockquote>
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==X==
|-
|
;X2-checking
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Double Checking
<blockquote>''Just '''X2-checking''' if you got the drawing I left you.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-11-2017-chris-spotted-at-bronycon.33187/page-35#post-2511049]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Comes from x2 meaning times two, which means double to Chris.</blockquote>

;XXX-tended
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Sexually explicit
<blockquote>''ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE TRUTH BOMBS AND ROSEY ROSECHU's POST-INTERSEX-TO-FEMALE TRANSITION AND OPERATION NUDES IN THE '''XXX-TENDED''' CONTROVERSIAL VERSION OF MY BOOK NUMBER EIGHT IN 2008!''<ref>[[Jail_Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>
;XXXXX
<blockquote>1. ''(noun, censorship)'' censorship of the word "bitch"
<blockquote>''Mary Lee Walsh made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM VERY ANGRY AT THAT '''XXXXX'''!''<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Chris's only instance of this peculiar censorship is in his [[diary]]. In it, Chris repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX", clearly as a censorship of the word "bitch". Why Chris chose to replace all of the letters in the word with the capital letter "X", instead of using asterisks remains a mystery.</blockquote>

|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Y ==

</blockquote>
|-
|
;y'all should know me by now
|-
|<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' An introduction to complete strangers.

<blockquote>'''''Y'all should know me by now''', but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, back on March 17th, 2000.''<ref name=csm/></blockquote>
Origin: His second message on YouTube, addressed to the ED trolls. He would use it several more times after this, possibly making this into his tagline. The introduction is made under the assumption that Chris is [[Chris and his Ego|already well-known]]. May have been partially derived from ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', where a character similarly begins a speech by saying, "You all know me."
</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;yea and merrily
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used to open videos where Chris is feeling [[Messiah complex|messianic]].

<blockquote>'''''Yea and merrily''' to everyone. Welcome to this.''<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Hey everybody! '''Yea and merrily'''.''<ref>[[Simple Existential Q&A]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A stupid play on "yea, verily", an antiquated phrase meaning "yes, truly", often assumed to have been said by Jesus in the {{w|King James Version}} of the Bible. Although the word "verily" is often used by Jesus in the King James Version, the phrase "yea, verily" never actually appears anywhere in the King James Bible. It does, however, appear in the {{w|Book of Mormon}}.
</blockquote>

;You don't rape a hamster!
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase condeming the raping of women kept as sex slaves, but apologizing for acussing someone of doing so.

<blockquote> ''It was just like you know...he had to—he had those four Rosechus in his basement. Kept 'em in cages. Treated them like hamsters. Ham—giant hamster wheel. Water bottle. Food pellets. No rape. Just hamsters. '''You don't rape a hamster!'''''<ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in the video [[I am Alive]], where Chris dispels "rumors" that were being propogated by trolls who were vandalizing the CWCipedia. In the video, he apologizes to [[Alec Benson Leary]] for misunderstandings about [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|acussing him of keeping women in his basement]], comparing them to hamsters.</blockquote>

;young at heart

<blockquote>1. ''(noun, attributive)'' An individual with childlike characteristics; a childish person.

<blockquote>''Hello Nintendo! Welcome to my Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I live in Ruckersville, Virginia and I is [sic] 21 years old and I play because I am '''young at heart'''. So anyway we are going to take a tour of my ci-ty...in Animal Crossing.''<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I am '''Young at Heart'''; a concept I have kept within myself since childhood.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-27-chris-wants-everyone-to-be-a-manchild-like-him.33726/]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''We, the '''Young at heart''' stand alongside our Liked and Cared others.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-27-chris-wants-everyone-to-be-a-manchild-like-him.33726/]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris more often than not advertises his childish nature as being "young at heart". As if this was a more positive quality of himself, he even goes as far as using this as a reason for girls to fall in love with him in his [[attraction signs]]. This is because Chris can't tell the difference between being a child at heart and being childish. In his mind, people who are considered "childish" actually lead a happier and more exciting life, since he believes that childlike people are more willing to show off their [[kindness]] and are generally more eccentric. In reality, adults who are "young at heart" generally have a somewhat innocent outlook of life and are generally interested in things considered suitable for children, yet understand their responsibilities as adults, something which Chris has failed to do since graduating [[High School]].
</blockquote>
|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Z ==
|-
|

;zap to the extreme
[[Image:ZapToTheExtreme.png|thumb|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Go out and be brave.

<blockquote>''Go! Sonichu! Go out and '''zap to the extreme'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote> ''Now everyone stay green and go out and '''zap to the extr-r-r-r-r-eme'''. Have a lovely day.''<ref>[[A New, Fun Trick]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This phrase is first used on the cover of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], where Chris's self-insert tells Sonichu to "zap to the extreme" as if Chris and Sonichu were in a bona fide [[Pokémon]] tournament. Chris would then end up using this phrase time and again, usually completely out of context of its original meaning.
</blockquote>

;zapbud
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A fictitious flower found in the ''Sonichu'' canon; Rosechu's favorite flower.

<blockquote>''Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose, though a '''Zapbud''' is the flower that heals your woes.''<ref name=OdeToRosechu/></blockquote>

Origin: Essentially the result of Chris attempting to create a mythology around his ''Sonichu'' comics, he created some of his own flora as well. Because "zapping" was a very common theme in the earlier issues of ''Sonichu'', Chris thought about naming his flora after this one theme. The term has ironically become popular with trolls and enablers, where they name made-up characters and places after it.</blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun)'' a [[CWC-isms#S|sweetheart]].

<blockquote>''Yes, my blossoming '''zapbud'''. That's why we are here.''<ref>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In this context, the term is used the same way a female lover may be compared to a flower. This was clearly an attempt to make the flora have a greater significance by making it sound like something beautiful.
</blockquote>

;zombie-like

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' To be riddled with dementia.

<blockquote>''Also, Barb is literally a Zombie-Like Living Body with little remaining of Barbara (her Soul) within her anymore; that living body is Running on Fumes at this point. She CAN NOT Drive anymore, regardless of Van loss; she has the fridgid mental activity and physical ability like a scared deer in headlights nearly ALL the time since even before June, 2021.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a [[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022|Jail Letter]] where Chris seems to imply that during his affair with his mother, she might have been declining mentally.
</blockquote>

|}

==References==

<references/>

==Navigation==

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

List of Sonichu characters

2026-06-30T20:57:53Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Trebor Capman */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of appearance.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Christian Weston Chandler===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan Sonichu|Collosal Chan|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[File:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|The heroic Christian Weston Chandler!]]

Chris-chan's alternate self and {{w|Mary Sue}}, who, believe it or not, is meant to be the hero. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much thinner than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). Comic Chris is also even ''more'' psychotic than Real Chris, having [[4-cent garbage.com|murdered hundreds of people]] in a [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorist]] attack, permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|several]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|others]], [[Gun Comic|blown out people's kneecaps with a handgun]] after they've surrendered, [[Sonichu 0|destroyed]] the home life of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[homos]]exuals, and had four men arrested, tried in an openly biased court, and personally executed in brutal and inhumane ways. For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]]. And all with a gleeful smile on his face. His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!'', and he can access his [[Collosal Chan|Collosal]] form with the use of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].

Christian first appeared right on the front cover of [[Issue 0]], ordering Sonichu around. He cameoed throughout the rest of the comics, and took over as the main character in [[Issue 2]], which portrayed him as a descendant of the [[Cherokian Clan]] and fulfiller of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Chris has since made himself and his [[love quest]] the [[Chris and his ego|center of attention]] and main focus of the comic in every issue (with a [[Sonichu 8|few exceptions]]).

===Sonichu===
{{main|Sonichu (character)|Ultra Sonichu}}

[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|left|'I am [[gay|STRAIGHT!]]']]
Christian's "original" character. Sonichu is a recolor who is an unholy fusion of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|a Pikachu]]. In earlier episodes he was the main protagonist of the comics. That is, until Chris took the spotlight. By [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Christian had taken over as the main character, and by [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris had added [[Chaotic Combo|a new batch of recolors]] who took over from Sonichu as the supporting cast. Consequently, Sonichu didn't have a central role again until [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he returned to his original purpose as a Sue for Chris. He continued this trend through the following issue. However, he did remain in the spotlight in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], despite Chris's return, as he transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] and helped Chris in his killing spree.

===Rosechu===
{{main|Rosechu|The Incredible Lioness}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 0-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime. She is the one of the few main characters to do almost nothing for the entire series, though she did once face rape [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

[[File:Sanek.png|left|thumb|150px]]

[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the Sonic the Hedgehog game ''{{w|Sonic Adventure}}''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of Sonichu in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

===Trainer Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

[[File:KelHallOfFame.jpg|thumb|left|Wait, when did Kel ever see Rosechu again?]]
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into Rosechu. Continued to take care of Rosechu until Sonichu took over as her new pimp. She then disappeared for a long time, but when [[Sean August Watley]] later used Trainer Kel as a central character in his own comic, Moon-Pals, Christian became [[Death threats|very upset]]. When Sean was executed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris bought back Kel as his executioner, where she got her revenge on Sean for him DARING to give her a personality and a starring role.

Most of Kel's backstory and what little personality she apparently had came through the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu. According to this article, by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]] at some point. This same article also claimed however, that she was kind, sweet, innocent and caring.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu]</ref> This in spite of the fact that she shot a man to death at point-blank range. Given the contradictions, it is safe to assume that this article is non-canon.

===David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[china]], and suggesting Kel have sex with him herself. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[Simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered "Daisy" to Rosechu for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}
[[File:082-ReldnahcNotsewNaitsirhc.jpg|thumb|100px|You can tell he's gay because he is shirtless. Straight men wear [[Muscle bra|bras]]!]]

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc is Christian's polar opposite, who was found and adopted by the [[Pokémon]] villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil(er) version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin.

Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Christian [[Rape|pins him down]] and forcibly injects him with the Gay Vaccine from the future, which destroys his medallion, makes him lose his powers and turns him into a "good guy". Because as we all know, [[Chris and reality|homosexuality makes you evil]]. He was then sent to [[Kel]].

===Zapdos===
{{main|Pokémon}}

An electric type Pokémon and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of Black Sonichu.

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|Chris did once explain what this line meant. It made no more sense afterward than before.]]
Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive African American man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

He attempts to arrest Chris for soliciting in the [[CWCville]] Mall, but is defeated by Christian's use of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form. Jerkhief pulls a gun on the attacking furmonster, but Christian hits him with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], causing him to lose his wife, children and home, and making the poor man break down in tears. Another victory for the forces of good!

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]]. They are supposedly brainwashed [[slow-in-the-minds]] and College students. In spite of this, Christian has [[Chris and death|no qualms in killing them]], and doesn't even mention the possibility of curing them until way later in the series. It has also been suggested that the Jerkops leaders (aside from Mary and [[Count Graduon]]) were under similar influence, which makes Christian's cruelty to Jerkhief even worse.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

[[File:Bc.PNG]]

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}
[[File:SchuGioRetard.jpg|thumb|right|The insidious Giovanni]]
The leader of Team Rocket and villain of the first generation [[Pokémon]] games, Giovanni is determined to capture [[Sonichu]] at any cost. He teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, as Sonichu unexpectedly got help in dealing with the kidnappers, rather than going in alone like a retard, as they expected him to do. However, he only got help from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] because he bumped into him on his way to the base. So Sonichu is still retarded, just lucky.

Later on, Giovanni seems to have reevaluated his goals, and now seeks to take over [[CWCville]] and kill Christian, as he joined forces with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and helped them out during their attack on the city in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Surprisingly, he seemed to want his son Reldnahc to rule the city, rather than wanting it for himself. This shows that at least Giovanni thinks of others sometimes rather than himself, which is more than can be said for our heroes.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|left|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; [[CWCville|Eggmanland]]. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching Pokémon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots (Including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots), countless personal mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. Despite having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle again Chris. Not even a single Badnik.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
[[File:Bill1.png|thumb|Dr. Bill Schwartz, the Scientist.]]
One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

It was for quite some time canon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, [[Moon-Pals]]. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

Bill makes his grand return in the new pages of [[Sonichu 11]] drawn in [[2015]], where he witnesses the body of [[Simonla Rosechu]] come back to life via the power of ''{{w|Deus Ex Machina|deus ex machina}}''.

===Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake===
{{main|Blake}}
[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg|thumb|left|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog|someone]]?]]

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic [[Piss|urine]]-and-[[feces]] color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|hermaphrodite]].

He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Although Black Sonichu was technically introduced in the following issue, he did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu strips, [[Love quest|stalking]] [[Rosechu]].

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic, Metal Sonichu is one of the few characters that even Chris will admit is a rip-off. Despite this, he has [[Alec]]'s derivative character Metal [[Asperchu]] refer to Chris as the "original creator", either implying that Chris wanted to claim Metal Sonichu as original all along, or he wanted to [[Chris and copyright|take credit for another one of Alec's characters]]. Sadly, though, he blames the villains for it. Much like the original Metal Sonic, it is a combat robot built by [[Doctor Robotnik]] (Later retconned into [[Ren Skysoar]]) for [[Giovanni]] in the image of Sonichu, with the intention of [[Jerkops|capturing]] or [[Chris and Death|killing]] its organic counterpart.

In fitting with its role as a killing machine, it had some unique weapons and capabilities which the original Sonichu did not have- these included laser/lightning cannon-like weapons built into both of its hands/forearms, an automated targeting system built into its HUD, levitation, high speed flight and air-dashing abilities provided by the booster engine in its body, a sharpened axe blade-like tail for deadlier mid-air spin attacks, and a lightweight yet incredibly resilient armor and chassis which was capable of resisting several attacks from both Sonic and Sonichu with little apparent damage. It appears to be powered by rechargeable batteries (Or at least has them as one of its potential energy sources), as seen in its picture with Ren Skysoar showing it plugged into a wall and recharging via an extension lead on its tail. It also matches and could theoretically exceed Sonichu's [[power]] and standard abilities, although this was not seen during its initial appearance.

Metal Sonichu is defeated in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] by Sonic and Sonichu after being hit by a combined attack which hurls it into space, eventually causing it to crash into the [[Moon]]; however, the robotic clone survives this attack, as evident by the sight of its eyes glowing in the darkness and a clawed metal hand rising out of a crater, resulting in a cliffhanger.

The fans speculated that Chris probably just forgot about the robotic clone and that it would never be heard of again, but after being constantly reminded about it in the [[Mailbag]], and after Sean used Metal Sonichu for Moon-Pals, Chris suddenly declared that Metal Sonichu would be returning at some point in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]. According to Chris, the deactivated Metal Sonichu would have been found on the Moon and used as a vessel for the recently-revived [[Count Graduon]] to return to Earth, and would become the new villain- mostly because he had already removed every other major villain from the comic permanently in preparation for [[Sonichu 10|an issue]] dedicated to murdering characters based on his IRL trolls, and afterwards, [[Chris and writing|left nothing for his characters to do anymore]] as a result of it.

It was eventually seen again twelve years later in ''Sonichu'' #12, where Graduon is seen possessing Metal Sonichu's disembodied head on the Moon; coaxing [[Naitsirhc]] back to his side and giving him his old Electric Hedgehog powers back, while indirectly working with Ren Skysoar to repair the rest of the duplicate's body and escape. The entire scene plays out like the climax of the ''[[Transformers]]'' episode [https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Ghost_in_the_Machine_(G1) "Ghost in the Machine",] with Metal Sonichu/Graduon in the role of Unicron (who also appears as a disembodied head after the destruction of his body), and Naitsirhc as Starscream. The latter even [[Things Chris has ripped off|remarks beforehand]] that Graduon looks like a [https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Headmaster_(technology) Headmaster] in his new form.
{{-}}
<center><gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg|A robotic copy of a [[Sonichu (character)|copy]], and it's still the more likeable of the two.
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg|In [[Animal Crossing]] card form.
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg|Yeah...
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] variation.
File:Ren_metal.jpg|With [[Ren Skysoar]].
File:SchuComic12-1P45.jpg |Count Graduon in Metal Sonichu's form, from [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12...]]
File:SchuComic12-1P48.jpg |...and again.
</gallery></center>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s on-again off-again love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the powerful ZERO (E-100 Alpha) robot and re-united a separated family of birds, or in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is [[Women's rights|just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any Rosechu]]. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit. Interestingly, the page shows how much Chris ended up copying her design for Rosechu.

Chris later introduced two new pages to Sonichu #1 in [[October 2015]] revealing that both she and Sonic were simply disguises utilized by [[Silvana]]'s shapeshifting ability. Whether this becomes more integrated in other issues of the series is yet to be seen.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

A woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

The ''Sonichu'' version of Hanna is apparently an agent of PVCC, and the only troll in the entire comic to not be a cartoonishly evil-looking miscreant, probably due to being a woman.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli|Wasabi Rival}}

[[File:Wes Iseli.jpg|thumb|left|In his Wes-Li Sonichu form.]]
Sarah Hammer's IRL boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee.

When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as assisting in the attack on CWCville during [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer|Queen of the Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].]]

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furry just like himself.

As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone. Sarah then got married to another man, rejecting Chris yet again, and she left the city of CWCville entirely. She did cameo once more, though, in [[Sonichu Special 2]], where she dressed in drag and attended the ceremony of Christian's ill-fated marriage to [[Ivy]], acting as his best man.

===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===
[[File:Keeper.PNG|thumb|Is he old or just a kid with a beard?]]
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

[[Image:MaryLeeWalshSonicStyle.jpg|thumb|left|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as a tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. [[Chris and writing|At no point is any information about her motivation for this provided by anybody]].

Mary Lee Walsh first appeared in the comics in [[Issue 2]], but a preview of her design was shown in [[Issue 0]], and she had been mentioned in both [[sub-episodes]] that had been in previous comics. In her first full appearance, she was wielding the staff of [[Count Graduon]], and directing the Golem attacking [[CWCville]]. This is thought to be her canonical first appearance as well, and it is believed that the subepisodes all take place after [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], since the very first sub-episode features Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Throughout the comics, she did nothing but throw wave after wave of [[Jerkops]], [[Manajerks]] and other PVCC agents at Chris. Occasionally she'd help out herself, and sometimes she'd just kick back and let her robots handle it. She captured [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] in the Dark Mirror Hole at one point, but it had very little lasting consequence. Christian later confronted her as Hobo-Chan in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. There, she let Chris destroy Graduon's staff and she surrendered. Not content, Christian attacked her with two large swords. It ended with her being paralyzed for life and put in prison.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

[[Image:Count Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the most [[Pickle|phallic]] villain in the ''Sonichu'' series.]]
The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his tranny rape weapon against the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. He appeared to be destroyed after [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|GodMode!Chris]] smashes his staff in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but Chris has stated that he would bring Graduon back in a later issue, during which he would have found and possessed the deactivated Metal Sonichu on the [[Moon]], again returning to Earth as the main villain. From late-[[2015]] onwards, Chris has gradually began to place more emphasis on Graduon, creating a new design to show his true physical form, and also devising a Mii [[Super Smash Bros. Videos|that he then featured in several videos]] involving him fighting Walsh.

===Golem===
A weapon used by [[Count Graduon]] after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2, where it originally appeared as a boss controlled by Eggman.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. They would form the central cast of ''Sonichu'' for the rest of the comic, outranking even the original Sonichu in the CWCville hierarchy.

===Wild Sonichu===
{{main|Wild Sonichu}}
[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|left|Wild Sonichu, advising his one year old daughter on how best to [[Sonichu 10|mutilate a man.]]]]

The green recolor and a sort of leader to the group. Wild also partially rips off Spider-Man. He was apparently raised by a clan of weird ninja Scythers and a Venusaur. Once his father was kidnapped, he forgot all about him.

Later in life he became another member of the Great Director's private army and he served as another footsoldier in the many battles against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and PVCC. During the middle of all this dumbfuckery, he attended a Dating Education class and got paired up with a mindless twit named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. Simonla was later killed, but fortunately for Wild, the [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]] which resulted from all sex he had with her [[Chris and art#Originality|looked almost exactly like Simonla in every single way]].

===Bubbles Rosechu===
{{main|Bubbles Rosechu}}
[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg|thumb|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.

===Angelica Rosechu===
{{main|Angelica}}
[[Image:271-Angelica.jpg|thumb|left|Angelica, the embodiment of the Antichrist.]]

A white recolor. Angelica Rosechu was made to be a religious type, specifically a Catholic. Her backstory explains that she was taken in by a convent of nuns, who raised her to be a devout member of the Faith and named her Angelica after her resemblance to the biblical angels - despite this, Angelica grew up to be a filthy whore and a violent mercenary of [[CWCville]]. She evolved one night in her sleep. Chris, who somehow knew exactly where she was and when she would evolve, broke into her house to give her shoes and a scrunchie, which he left on her bed for her to find when she woke up.

Despite being billed as a pacifist and a peacemaker, she later became heavily entrenched in Christian's war against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]], and may very well have killed several people in the battle. This is pure speculation however. What isn't speculation though, was that she did, in fact, ''personally execute'' [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] - after reading him the last rites of course, [[Chris and religion|which Catholic laymen are not permitted to do]]. She charitably remarked 'May God have mercy' while doing so. This may indicate that on some level she knows that what she is doing is wrong, but it's likely that she was referring to Alec, because like Chris, she also has a huge [[ego]], and genuinely believes that people should be killed for making [[parody]] webcomics. Like Bubbles, she is also a slut. She put out for Reginald Sneasel on the first date and she has been known to [[Media:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|do things in church that would make Jesus himself cry.]]

===Punchy Sonichu===
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}

[[Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy, the Asian one.]]
The red one, Punchy is not even a recolour; he's just Knuckles the Echidna who is already red. The only difference between them is that Punchy is far more retarded and has racist looking slanty eyes.

Punchy was born in a dojo somewhere after his egg crash landed there. Immediately after hatching, he was challenged to a sparring match by the dojo owner's daughter and student, Mypoe, who [[Dragon Ball Z|ripped off his tail since it was a weakness]]. He then punched her through the roof to her presumed death. [[Excel Saga|G.D.W. Shinabe]], delighted at the murder of his daughter, decides to teach Punchy martial arts. This training was wasted on Punchy however, who just ended up using [[pokémon]] attacks for the rest of his life. Punchy later got caught up with the rest of the gang, and formed the Chaotic Combo with them. Shortly afterward, his master died under mysterious circumstances and he apparently inherited the dojo. Punchy then spent the rest of ''Sonichu'' fighting Jerkops and related enemies. He got a break from the routine in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where he took the [[Dating Education]] courses to try and learn how best to hook up with Angelica. As it turned out, Angelica would have been easy, but due to circumstances, Punchy ended up with another whore named Layla Flaaffy. Since [[Women's rights|all women are the same in Sonichu]], Punchy just rolled with it and had sex with her anyway. He later also participated in the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] executions.

===Magi-Chan Sonichu===
{{main|Magi-Chan}}
[[Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|thumb|left|When you turn your back, he's going to stab you.]]

The purple recolor. Magi-Chan was born in a mysterious cave where, upon hatching, he was contacted by the Pokémon Mewtwo, who trained him with his powers. Upon evolving into Magi-Chan, he promptly let out a fart. His training complete, Mewtwo left him and Magi-Chan would go on join the Chaotic Combo. Despite his awesome powers, Wild Sonichu was chosen over Magi-Chan as leader of the Chaotic Combo. It would be Magi-Chan who would serve as the means to locate the Sonichu Balls from their locations, accidentally causing Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]]. He would also fight Silvana from time to time as he attempted to save her from Graduon. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he frees Chris from the Time Void, goes into the future to bring the cure for homosexuality back to the present, but starts suffering due to that, yammering something about a crisis only Chris could avoid, failing to find a man high off his ass and failing to stop Evan and Simonchu from killing Simonla.

=== Sonee and Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}}

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], who appear on the first page of [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. Technically, baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu could never exist since they were created directly from a Pikachu and Raichu respectively, but that didn't stop Chris from creating them. They never made a canon appearance, but Chris recycled the designs for [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

===Scyther===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu. [[Chris and art|We think]].]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild told Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a failure to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

===Venusaur===
{{main|Pokémon}}
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.

===Swampert===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to an end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and seeming murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
[[Image:Wailord.png|200px|thumb|An actual Wailord.]]
Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica, they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from. Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, ''and'' they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
[[Image:Shinabe.jpg|thumb|left|Let it never be said Chris has no respect for [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]. He at least advertises the stuff he rips off.]]
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris's many horrible ''[[Excel Saga]]'' references. The anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', a follow-up project to ''Excel Saga''.

In ''Sonichu'', Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for ''Great Director Watanabe'', a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.

If Christian's "Sonichu" article on [[CWCipedia]] is to be taken as canon, then Shinabe was murdered by an ex-student seeking revenge for some reason ''during the middle of Punchy giving Chris a tour of the dojo''.

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in ''Sonichu'']]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of ''Puni Puni Poemy'', depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. Despite this, Chris claims that the two characters are not related.<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.284:11_to_6:01.29</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]]. She has a special place in their hearts due to being the only character that tried to put a Sonee out of its miserable existence shortly after birth.

=== Mewtwo ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Mewtwo.PNG|thumb|left|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris's idiocy.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers.

Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this though, much like all of the other sideplots [[Chris and his Ego|not involving him]], it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokémon team. Since in Pokémon lore there is only one Mewtwo, it can be assumed that this is the same one.

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Flame, who seems to be in dire need of pants, is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokémon, yet he readily uses Pokémon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Black Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

[[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|100px|Black Manajerk, the badass.]]
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]], kitted out with a suit of golden armour. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]]. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention after Chris was sucked into the [[Time Void]].

[[Chris and race|And yes, the 'B' in B-Manajerk does stand for Black]].

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], Merried Seinor Comic, also known as Kirby, is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonald's in which Chris was loitering that day. In ''Sonichu'', he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, Darkbind Sonichu arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.

===Wal-Mart Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Truly an inspiration to us all.]]
The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, W-M-Manajerk confronts Chris shortly after B-Manajerk and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.

Particularly worrying was that according to dialogue, Chris and Crystal were surprised to learn he could survive in just his head form after they removed it from his body, implying that they had intended to murder the helpless man.

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|right|Dear Lord, he's even [[gay]]er than [[Magi-Chan]]!]]
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the Manajerks at the Mal-Wart region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]]. He finally achieves this in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and then starts crying.

===Mecha-Jerkops===
{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the Manajerks to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops. One wonders what the point was when actual Jerkops are far more capable and numerous.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
===Crystal Weston Chandler===
{{main|Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)}}

Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris c. 2005 differing only in gender, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she has a super-powered electric hedgehog form she changes into – Crystalina Rosechu – through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought. Chris makes [[Chris and sex#Incest|numerous remarks about her beauty]].

=== Snorlax ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Snorlax]] who briefly appeared in Christian's 'Backyard Safari' [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops]].

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

=== ScotPalazzo ===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

ScotPalazzo is the [[Manajerk]] of Fa-Square, from the Sho-Mall Region. He is based on the manager who called the [[Jerkhief]] on Chris in real life, though he did not appear in ''Sonichu'' until Sub-Episode 6, where he for some reason became jealous that Chris had his own TV show; CWC's Backyard Safari. He decided once he was done watching it to order more Jerkops after Chris, since he was once again persisting to [[Love Quest|solicit sex in a public place]] and was still [[Story of my current days|resisting arrest]]. Or at least, that would be the [[Honest|truthful]] reason. In ''Sonichu'', however, it's because he hates love, since it caused his mother's murder suicide somehow. It's likely that the real ScotPalazzo's mother did no such thing, but Chris for some reason thinks that [[Trolls|anyone who dislikes him]] at all must have terrible and tragic lives, since [[Chris and his ego|only people with no life could ever possibly hate Chris]]! That said, ScotPalazzo is probably the only villain in Sonichu, at least until [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to have any kind of motivation, so no one's complaining. ScotPalazzo also attended Mary's villain convention after Chris was lost to the [[Time Void]].

=== Turdijerk ===
{{main|Turdijerk}}

Turdijerk is the Manajerk of the [[Get-Tar]] region. He appears in Sub-Episode 7, where he tells Chris to get out of his store because he is loitering on private property again and scaring off his customers. Unlike with previous cases where he has provoked Manajerks into a fight, this time Chris just attacked them outright after they asked him to leave. Not caring for being assaulted by loitering manchildren, Turdijerk calls [[Bagget|Marcus Bagget]] to come and deal with the potentially dangerous Chris before he attacks any more of his employees. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention.

=== Trebor Capman ===
{{main|Trebor Capman}}

Turdijerk's assistant and the second victim of Christian's unwarranted attack on the store manager. It can be assumed that his real name is Robert, given Chris's love of [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|villains with]] [[Mary Lee Walsh#Renaming and retcons|backwards names]]. He was also present at the villain convention with his boss Turdijerk.

=== Marcus Bagget ===
{{main|Bagget}}
Yet another one of Chris's [[Sub-Episode]] characters of the week, '''Bagget''' (later ret-conned to '''Dagget''') is the leader of a group of [[Jerkop]]s in the [[Get-Tar Region]]. His efforts are supplemented by [[Crackder]] and a [[Jerkhief]]. Bagget and the Jerkops arrive shortly after Trebor Capman and Turdijerk attempt to make Chris leave a Target he had singled out as an [[Attraction Location]], but Chris refused to go. Thus, Bagget fought Chris personally using his sword, but the battle was fought to a standstill with Chris transforming into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], forcing Bagget to call in his Jerkop squad for assistance. After the Jerkhief gave Chris a wicked carpet burn and 'hog-timed' him, Bagget ordered Crackder to take the now-restrained manchild to [[PVCC]].

Unusually, Bagget never gets any form of punishment from Chris as a result of this, and disappears from the comic, only reappearing as a cameo among the council of enemies at PVCC in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. It is unknown exactly what role he played in the battle between Chris and the Chaotic Combo vs. PVCC.

Ironically, the real '''Marcus Bagett''' that Bagget is based on has received multiple awards for his heroism.

=== Crackder ===
{{main|Crackder}}

{{Incomplete}}

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===William Spicer===
The husband of Sarah Hammer. Because Chris had no clue as to what William actually looked like, Chris depicted him as a Jack's Knight, a card from the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card game franchise.

===Megan Schroeder (Meg-Chan)/Sailor Megtune===
{{main|Megan Schroeder|Sailor Megtune}}
Chris's second love interest. Based off of the actual Megan Schroeder, she moonlights as a Sailor Senshi, devoted to aiding Chris whenever he can't get off his own fat rear to do so. Despite having a very central role when she first appears, she is quickly erased from the series after her real-life counterpart gives Chris the boot in the aftermath of his ED discovery.

===Megagi La Skunk===
{{main|Megagi La Skunk}}
Megan's skunk companion. Starting out as a butch, tomboyish character with more personality than the rest of the Rosechus, her distinct nature rapidly corrodes as she gains a boyfriend in Bionic, devolving into a bland feminine cheerleader by Issue 9.

===Harriet, Joseph, Julia, Nick===
Couples harassed by Jerkops.

===Jamsta Sonichu===
{{main|Jamsta Sonichu}}

DJ for KCWC and one of the few Sonichus shown that weren't created by the Chaotic Rainbow. He has no obvious powers and speaks in outdated slang. Interestingly, Jamsta's the actual ORIGINAL Sonichu, yet he wasn't discovered and named until later, giving Sonichu all the credit.

===CWCVille Constable===
One of the few non-Jerkops in CWCVille.

===CADD Chef (alias Keneru-Meneth)===
{{main|CADD Chef}}

Another one of Slaweel's minions who does nothing but complain about building designs. The character is based off of Chris's Computer-Aided Drafting and Design and the ''South Park'' character Chef. Why Chris chose to combine these two concepts is known only to him.

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==

===Patti-Chan===
{{Main|Patti Chandler|Patti-Chan}}

Chris's beloved dog. Following her real-life death, in the comics, a combination of eating a four-leaf clover and moonbeams transformed Patti into Patti-Chan. Realizing what had happened, Chris brought his dog to CWCVille so it can live on forever. She uses her magic to protect the Mayor's office in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], then kills Alec in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] because "she's not a zombie."

===Allison Amber===
{{main|Allison Amber}}

Chris's mayoral secretary. Once a prominent Hollywood star, she bafflingly gave up the fame and fortune to work in the CWCVille Mayor's office. She essentially performs the entirety of the mayoral work in lieu of Chris while he traipses around murdering people and finding true love. When Chris became trapped in the Time Void, it was indicated that she had overtaken all of his duties until his return - presumably this made very little difference to Allison's schedule. In ''Sonichu'' #10, she rather harshly kills Sean for his promiscuous depiction of her in ''Moon-Pals''.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of teenager-aimed Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the "inspiration" of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Zelina Rosechu===
{{main|Zelina Rosechu}}

Darkbind Sonichu's love interest. She is put under a spell through the locked power of the Sonichu Crystals prior to the start of the series. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], she is awakened to much fanfare and is unsurprisingly revealed to be as unimportant and devoid of personality as all the other Rosechus.

===Clawdorf===
{{main|Clawdorf}}

Darkbind Sonichu's deadly foe. After putting Zelina into a deep sleep, he is accidentally [[Yawning Squirtle|turned into stone]] and left in a cave. He is presumed freed by Ultra Sonichu.

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Bionic the Hedgehog}}

Chris's first creation before Sonichu came into play. Thought up of after getting smacked with a Sonichu Crystal (later altered to be a basketball), Bionic became Chris's first creation. He would go into obscurity until Naitsirhc arrived on the scene, knocking out the villain with a basketball. He would soon fall in love with Megagi and go and aid Chris in his adventures, culminating in Bionic electrocuting Alec.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical ''[[Family Guy]]'' style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate representation of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

===Skelevision and Ghost Buggy===
{{main|Ghostbusters}}

Items used by the Filmation Ghostbusters in their adventures. Sammy busts through them in his "Family Guy Skitch" in his confused state.

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}

One of Chris's old classmates and one of his old high school crushes. She appears in Episode 15, discovering Chris's nude picks and is revealed to have warned Rosechu in Episode 17. Interestingly, she is one of the few who ''doesn't'' get a retconned name change.

===Bender Bending Rodriguez===
{{main|Futurama}}

A lazy self-absorbed robot who gets his kicks off of robbing people, getting drunk and all around being lazy, especially with his friend Philip J. Fry. Doesn't ''that'' sound like someone we know. Bender is seen spiraling through the time stream as Chris, Sonichu and Magi-Chan travel on.

===Joseph Herring===
{{main|Joseph Herring}}

One of the many people affected by Slaweel's attacks, this pimply faced man, later renamed Joe Herr, is seen lamenting about the loss of his girlfriend. The character is based off of a man by the same name who actually looked pretty decent.

===Beavis and Butt-Head===
{{main|Beavis and Butt-head}}

MTV's legendary icons for all things 1990, Beavis and Butt-Head were two idiotic teens who got their kicks through destruction, pervert antics and all around being complete and utter idiots. And America ''mostly'' loved them. They show up in Episode 16 slamming a locker door, mimicking a scene from one of their shorts.

===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]

Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform mentally retarded people into new Jerkops. From this it can be inferred that any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Breasted Jerkops would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

===Jason Kendrick Howell===
{{main|Jason Kendrick Howell}}

The head of 4-cent_garbage, Jason Kendrick Howell is the bald-headed, eye-patch wearing cause of Chris's torment in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Based off of the person by the same name whom Chris believes put up the Chris-Chan ED page, Jason is shown as apathetic to Sonichu's pleas before he launches a pickle at Rosechu, causing her to transform into the [[Incredible Lioness]] and face rape him. He would return in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only to decide he was going to retire from trolling Chris because tormenting him is WRONG.

===Kathleen===
{{main|Kathleen}}

Kathleen is Jason's "woman slave", seen wearing an odd BDSM outfit and in a crawling position. She stays ever faithful by Jason's side throughout the whole thing. She is based off the woman by the same name, who was Jason's girlfriend at the time.

===Blanca===
{{main|Blanca}}

The first of many troll gal-pals to appear in the comics. Blanca was the creator of Jiggliami and was present at the interview with Jamsta. In issue 8, however, it's revealed that she went back to Kentucky to be with her boyfriend.

===Jiggliami===
{{main|Jiggliami}}

Blanca's creation, an odd fusion of Amy Rose and a Jigglypuff. She is a songstress who's seeking to become popular. She appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] with an interview with Jamsta and in a Spring Break concert in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], helping the Chaotic Combo before inexplicably disappearing forever.

===Lolisa Rosechu===
{{main|Lolisa Rosechu}}

Jamsta's assistant on his radio show. Oddly, she is also the oldest Rosechu of the bunch, but because this is Chris's comic, she is conveniently shoved aside so that Rosechu is the first, thus named after her.

===Robert Simmons V===
{{main|Robert Simmons V}}

Another troll who made his way into the comic as a major fan of the comics. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he appears at Jiggliami's interview. However, after Chris learned the truth of the man, he retconned it in his [[Videobooks]] by saying he was arrested for getting too close to Chris.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

===Lovey and Thurston Howell III===
{{main|Lovey Howell|Thurston Howell III}}
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

===Beel===
{{main|Beel}}

The secretary at 4-cent_garbage, he is a devil-like creature with the [[homos|gayest]] jean shorts ever. He shows up briefly in Episode 17, but is more prominently shown in Episode 21, stealing Chris's medallion, before having it teleported away, then blasted to kingdom come. He returns just in time to berate Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus over their trolling of Chris (comparing it to working with Adolf Hitler) before disappearing.

===4-cent_garbage.com employees===
{{main|4-cent_garbage}}

The workers of 4-cent_garbage building. Chris reappears to briefly sock one of them in the face. In Episode 21, Chris returns fully and destroys the building, killing about a hundred of the employees.

===George W. Bush===
{{main|George W. Bush}}

42nd President of the United States and son of the 40th President, George H. W. Bush, he saw his highs of popularity from the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 attacks]] plummet after he initiated the War in Iraq. He is depicted in the elevator gag tipping over his successor off his ladder.

===Barack Obama===
{{main|Barack Obama}}

43rd President of the United States and first [[niggo|African-American president]]. Obama is depicted in the elevator gag attempting to paint the White House black, but is stopped by Bush.

===John McCain===
{{main|John McCain}}

Obama's opponent in the 2008 elections and former US Senator. He yells at Obama for painting the White House black.

===Hilary Clinton===
{{main|Hillary Clinton}}

New York Senator, former First Lady to 41st President Bill Clinton and one of five potential candidates in the Democratic nominee for President. She's present as Obama paints the White House.

===Sarah Palin===
{{main|Sarah Palin}}

Former Alaskan governor, John McCain's running mate and all-around gullible bag of bricks. This "bulldog with lipstick" was present as Obama painted the White House.

===Simonla Rosechu===
{{main|Simonla Rosechu}}

Wild Sonichu's fuck toy, Simonla Rosechu is the unholy monstrosity created when Chris took Simonchu Sonichu, a creation by [[Evan]] (who in turned based it off of Simon the Digger of ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'') and gave it breasts and china. Simonla first appears when she joins the other Rosechus in "stripping for [[Women's Rights]], introducing her friend Zapina. She's later paired up with Wild in Dating Education before aiding said Sonichu in defending CWCVille from Slaweel's attack. However, Simonla would meet her demise by a Voltorb blowing itself up, killing her ''on the toilet''.

===Zapina Rosechu===
{{main|Zapina Rosechu}}

A young (under-age) Rosechu who's friends with Simonla. She first appears trying to join some of the other Rosechus in stripping publicly for Women's Rights, but Rosechu shoots down that idea because of the "dumb" child pornography laws. She is later seen defending CWCVille from Slaweel and her minions.

===Greta Squall===
[[File:Greta.PNG|thumb|There are blind five-year-olds who can draw better human figures. With their feet.]]
News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News", obviously a parody of Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren. Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.

===Silvana Rosechu===
{{main|Silvana Rosechu}}

Another missing Rosechu, she was found on [[The Motherfucking Moon]] by Count Graduon and turned evil, giving her shapeshifting powers and a [[duck|penis]]. She appears in Episode 18, fucking Blake disguised as Bubbles before being driven off. She appears again in Episode 20, fighting Magi-Chan and appears one last time, disguising herself as a malformed Meg Griffin. According to Chris, Silvana would lose her powers and her dick when Graduon's staff was shattered and she would soon fall in love with Magi-Chan.

===Yawning Squirtle===
{{main|Yawning Squirtle}}

A Squirtle that is seen yawning and given a very stoned look. Many trolls took it that the Squirtle was actually high off of weed and ran with it. In retaliation, Chris mentioned that this Squirtle was actually an old friend of Bubbles and that it was also captured and not shot to the moon.

===Sea Pokémon===

Comprised of [[Mudkips]], [[Seadra]], [[Goldeen]], [[Staryu]], [[Corsola]], [[Octillery]], [[Mantine]], and [[Corphish]]. Note that Mudkip are found in swamps, not the ocean.

===Optimus Prime===
{{main|Optimus Prime}}

Supreme Commander of the Autobots and hero of the Transformers franchise. He is considered to be one of Chris's idols. However, he is depicted in Issue 8 as a grand hero (or a murderer, however you want to look at it), killing Decepticon spy Sarah Jackson.

===Sarah Jackson===
{{main|Sarah Jackson}}

One of Chris's sweethearts and Decepticon spy. She is given a memorial by depicting the heroic Optimus Prime running down her truck in his truck form.

===Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (aka Panda Halo)===
{{main|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda Halo}}

The third of Chris's gal-pals. She is given a shout out in Issue 8, only to be depicted dying in an a fire in Issue 9, mirroring her real-life "demise" which Chris concocted with no impetus.

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==

===Sarah Jackaras===

Sarah Jackson's second comic persona. She is depicted as a teacher for Chris's demented Dating Education class. At the end of the episode, her sister nonchalantly announces her death before handing out test scores.

===George Philip===
A kid in Dating Education. He resembles Kenny from ''[[South Park]]''. He was matched up with Ivy, but got screwed because Ivy was holding out for Chris.

===Layla Flaaffy===
{{main|Layla Flaaffy}}

Ivy's companion, who does not even vaguely resemble a Flaaffy. She ends up hooking up with Punchy in Episode 19 and is shown one last time blasting away a bunch of Jerkops with a Thunder attack in Episode 20.

===Ivy===
{{main|Ivy}}

The last of the real-life sweethearts to show up in the ''Sonichu'' comics (excluding the specials) thus far. She ends up having a vision where God and Jesus tell her that she is to be Chris's one true love. Irrespective of this, she is strangled by elevator wire in Episode 20.

===Reginald Sneasel===
{{main|Reginald Sneasel}}

Chris's Mary Sue character that fills in for him while he is still trapped in the Time Void. He despises [[Niggo|darkies]] and attempts to break up Punchy and Layla only for Angelica to feel sorry for him and be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].

===God/Jesus===
{{main|God/Jesus}}

Our Creator and our Lord and Savior. They appear in a vision to let Ivy know that she and Chris were meant to be. However, since Ivy dies in the next episode, it's hard not to imagine they were trolling the two in the process.

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|Florance Fisher]]

One of the few [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil, although she is extremely peripheral. She is rejected by Reginald Sneasel, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

===Rita Jackaras===

Sarah's sister. She replaces Sarah after offhandedly revealing she died somehow during the students' lunch break, then begins handing out test scores. Judging by her [[Speech impediment|odd speech patterns]], she may be [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]].

===Other students===

Comprised of:
*Amy Testa
*Clem Jennings
*Geraldine Beglan
*Fred Shiflet
*Emily Ryan
*Unnamed computer-lab attendant
*Clyde Raymond Cwash- Scored the lowest on the dating test. An obvious stab at [[Clyde Cash]], even though in real life<ref>Or at least in what Chris [[Chris and reality|believes is real life]]</ref> he not only succeeded in two tasks Chris has so far failed - [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo|getting married and having a child]] - but also achieved those goals using [[Chris and sex#Rape|extremely Chris-like methods]].

===Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels===
{{main|Scoundrals As Vessels}}

Evil PVCC Decepticons, they're mass produced and act as heavy-duty attackers. Repaint of Swindle from ''Transformers Animated''

===Samurai Pizza Bots===
{{main|Samurai Pizza Bots}}

CWCVille's main machine protectors and obvious Autobot rejects. This team is comprised of:
*[[Prower]] - Punchy's motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from ''Transformers Animated''
*[[Son-Chu]] - a depiction of Chris's real-life car with a "SONICHU" vanity plate
*[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from ''Transformers Animated''. Also a pizza delivery car.
*[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from ''Revenge of the Fallen''.
*[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from ''Transformers Animated''. Even has a guitar as a weapon.

===Blazebob Sonichu and Chloe Rosechu===
{{main|Blazebob Sonichu|Chloe Rosechu}}

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]].<ref>From the CWCipedia "Sonichu" page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."''</ref> They are saved by Panda before her gruesome death and start bawling at her death before a firefighter tells them to move their asses.

===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The ''Sonichu'' variation of Liquid Chris. This ground-type Sonichu is easily curb-stomped by Sonichu before he can really get the chance to attack. It's said that Liquid's medallion was made out of paper.

===Cerah, Christine, and Robbie===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Children}}

The demonic spawn of Sonichu and Rosechu. Robbie is known for his screechy voice and [[speech impediment]], Christine is known for being [[Chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] and "shiny" (read: not really Sonichu's), and Cerah is known for absolutely nothing at all. All are equally abominable in the eyes of the Lord. These three simply show up at the end of the comic with only one extremely minor mention prior to then, and their births have never been shown. It is extremely likely that these three were created in response to trolls pointing out that Sonichu and Rosechu were having premarital underage sex. They feature all too heavily subsequent to their sudden introduction.

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==

===Bugs Bunny===
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

===Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez===
[[Image:geraldandlouie.JPG|thumb|Constables Gerald (left) and Louis, with firm friend Sonichu.]]

Two of [[CWCville]]'s policemen (true blue, not [[Jerkops]]) who show up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]]. Despite this being their first appearance, they are shown as good friends of [[Sonichu]].

Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]].

Louis is the [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.

===The Asperpedia Four===
[[Image:Maoalecevansean.jpg|thumb|The Asperpedia Four on trial. (Clockwise from the top: Mao, Alec, Evan, Sean.)]]

The main users of the Asperpedia. They are arrested and executed by Chris and the others for their roles in the death of Simonla. The four are:

*[[Alec Benson Leary]] - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly." Is electrocuted by Chris and the Chaotic Combo.
*[[Evan]] - Simonchu's creator. Is castrated and drilled to death by Sandy and Wild.
*[[Sean August Watley]] - Creator of Moon-Pals. Is shot to death by Allison, Bill the Scientist, and Kel.
*[[Asperpedia|Mao]] - Asperpedia admin. Is [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|broken]] and killed by Chris.

Chris would, in an attempt to appear like a less psychotic human being, make a new ending for Sonichu 10, wherein the four are condemned to live in a Amish community for the rest of their lives, which results in them becoming a bunch of [[slow-in-the-minds]] who spew [[random-access humor]].

===Sackboy===
{{main|Little Big Planet}}

The mascot and main character of the ''Little Big Planet'' game franchise. He appears in issue 10 to tell readers not to buy unauthorized copies of ''LBP'' for the [[Hex Box]].

===Jimmy Hill===
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

Famed former soccer player turned commentator who was used as part of a trolling scheme against Chris. He is depicted in Issue 10 getting his teeth knocked out by Chris-Chan Sonichu's Hyper Beam before being scolded by Bugs Bunny.

===Clyde Cash===
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

Infamous troll who helped inspire many others. In actuality, Clyde's first appearance was in ''[[Sonichu Special 1]]'', capturing Ivy and trying to kill both Chris and Ivy when they escape. In issue 10, he's depicted as a panicking man as the 4-cent_garbage building began falling. Unwilling to let Chris kill him, he takes the hand of his lover, Jack Thaddeus, and leap to his death.

===Jack Thaddeus===
{{main|Jack Thaddeus}}

Person who owned the ads at the CWCkipedia and forced Chris to hump his [[PS3|Life Upgrade]]. He is depicted as another panicking man in the 4-cent_garbage building. He joins his lover, Clyde Cash, in leaping to their deaths, unwilling to let Chris have his victory.

===Meg Griffin===
{{main|Meg Griffin}}

Middle child of the fictional Griffin family, usually depicted as being ignored and ridiculed by her family and just about everyone else. In Issue 10, she was a disguise by Silvana, who appeared, told Chris how awesome he was, shared a kiss with him, then disappeared. Worst troll ever.

===Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu===
{{main|Asperchu}}

Star of Alec Benson Leary's comic of the same name. When Ultra Sonichu appears, he takes away his personality and Asperger's and transforms him into Mitch Sonichu (and Chris expected Alec to follow suit).

===Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)===
{{main|Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)}}

Formerly the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, Wild and Magi-Chan. Ultra Sonichu appears and removes their "Asperger's" (despite none of them actually having the condition) and gives them new identities of Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu.

===Metal Asperchu===

A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.

===Basement Rosechus===
{{main|Basement Rosechus}}

A group of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris was implying that they were raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

===Inos===
{{main|Inos}}

A homeless man discovered by Ultra Sonichu. To his horror, Inos is discovered with a five year cold and under the influence of weed. Ultra Sonichu steals his weed away then has the police slap his wrist. He later reappears during the Christmas special to compliment [[Blake]] and wish him a Happy Kwanzaa, but Blake responds with anger and some subdued [[racism]]. Blake attempts to attack Inos, but [[Bubbles]] tells him to 'stand down'.

===Simonchu===
{{main|Simonchu}}
[[File:SimonlaSimonchuHaiti.JPG|150px|thumb|right|Simonchu (right) and [[Simonla Rosechu|his infringed counterpart]].]]
The main hero of [[Evan]]'s Simonchu comics and Wild's lover in Asperchu. He attempts to kill his evil clone Simonla, but is stopped by Magi-Chan.
{{-}}

===Toilet Exploding Voltorb===
[[Image:Toiletexplodingvoltorb.png|thumb|Simonla's killer.]]

The Pokémon that kills Simonla with Self-Destruct.

===Sandy Rosechu===
{{main|Sandy Rosechu}}

The bastard child of Wild and Simonla. She is forced to be evolved by Wild and is trained by different Pokémon just so she can ''tear Evan's genitals out''.

===Judge Slack Lewis===

The judge presiding the case of the Asperpedia Four. He has an obvious bias towards Chris and allows everything that goes on. He may or may not be a rip-off of {{w|Lewis Black}}, a comedian who would likely rage at Chris and the comic.

===Marvey Blaziken===

A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the law|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

===Spiny Norman===

An actual hedgehog, Chris shoehorned in an incredibly minor reference to an early ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' sketch on the page calling out [[Jimmy Hill]], presumably because Chris' only exposure to the British seems to be from TV shows.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==
===Kevin===
{{main|Kevin the Jew}}

An unseen friend of [[Cerah Rosey]]. Since he's Jewish, Cerah bakes him as a gift a candle-shaped cookie for Hanukkah, due to the candle-related symbolism in this holiday's rituals, despite the fact that a biscuit of any shape would have been accepted for such a celebration. Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply asking if he's allergic, she just assumes it.<ref>[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], p. [:image:SchuComic11P4.jpg|4].</ref> Because Jews are sickly Melvins with many allergies, you see. He later appears for the first time in a visual role in ''Sonichu'' #11's adaptation of ''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]'', and heavily resembles a character from ''Peanuts''.

==[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]==
===Vulva Pie===
{{main|Jackie}}

A pink cat who was Jackie's OC. In the comic, she was Robbie/Roberta's former classmate and girlfriend. Their relationship ended after [[Jackie|her mother]] whisked her away.

===Jackie===

Though not directly named, she is the mother of Vulva Pie who took her daughter to somewhere else to spite Chris and Robbie/Roberta.

===Mimi===

Originally a character from a [[Commissions#The_Flufflehugs_Commissions|commission]], she was another girlfriend that Robbie/Robert once dated.

===Danny Steckle===
{{main|DStecks}}

A character obviously based on a man who donated Chris $1000. He was thanked by Angelina in the Cwcville Pride Festival for his generous donations to the town's soup motels.

===Russel Sonee and Cynthia Rosey===
In Facebook post from 21 May 2015, Chris describes how Chris-chan Sonichu's form has turned into a female one. While still being in his Chris-chan Sonichu form, Chris inseminates himself with a sample of his semen that he produced while still in his human form. Two weeks he laid two eggs, and three weeks afterwards a Sonee and Rosey hatched from them. Chris named the Sonee Russel and the Rosey Cynthia. They both respectively developed into a Sonichu and Rosechu later on, with Russel developing an interest in Britain and English culture and Cynthia developing an interest in her Cherokee roots and becoming a naturist. According to Chris they have no birth defects, not even their parent's autism.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> After two years of being mentioned but not appearing in the comic, they debut as a cameo at the Pride Festival.

===Cole Smithey===
{{main|Cole Smithey}}
Chris's half-brother appears as a brainwashed [[jerkop]] who attempted to ambush Chris, only to hit an illusionary double. He was then knocked out cold by Chris and sent to a pocket dimension.

==[[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]==

===Night Star===
{{main|Night Star}}

Chris's psychic-type ponysona and the main protagonist of the issue. She was born on the same day as Chris and shares his heterochromia. Like the Mary Sue she is, she has immense psychic powers and the ability to transform into a Sonichu form to fight evil. She also has the ability to create portals, which she uses liberally in almost any given situation.

===Sugar Darling and Gallop Crush===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}} {{main|Bob Chandler}}

Night Star's parents who were obviously based on Chris's parents.

===Lyra===

Made a brief cameo congratulating Night Star in hatching a dragon egg.

===Vinyl Scratch/DJ Pon-3===
{{main|Vinyl Scratch}}
Two incarnations of the DJ appeared. One in her Canterlot form and another in her pony form.

===Half of the Mane Six===

Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack would make brief cameos thoughout the comic.

===Diamond Melody===
{{main|Jessica Quinn|Diamond Melody}}

Based on Jessica Quinn, she was Night Star's first love. They would date by traveling around CWCville until she shamefully moved away after meeting her real-life counterpart.

===Nepgear===
{{main|Hyperdimension Neptunia}}

Younger sister of Purple Heart. She appeared and accompanied Night Star and Diamond Melody to a concert.

===Discord===

A draconequus and the spirit of chaos. In the Sonichu lore, he serves as Chris's bodyguard and appeared in the comic discussing plans of a fundraiser with Night Star.

===Kun T'Nyuget/Kun Hanhphuc===
{{main|Kun T'Nyuget}}

Joshua Wise created his ponysona, Kun T'Nyuget, as part of the trolling plan. However, due to the intervention of [[Kiwi Farms]] he was renamed as Kun Hanhphuc by the time of his debut. Like Rosechu, he is mostly useless and serves as a tag-along and someone who needs to be rescued.

===Rei Ryghts===

The CPU of the fallen nation of Tari and represents the Atari 2600. She is the head of the Seven Sages and the main antagonist of Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory. She was seen terrorizing Cwcville and making short work of Night Star before the other CPUs came and defeated her.

===Captain Celaeno===

A character whose first and only known appearance was in the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie. She is an anthropomorphic parrot who is the captain of a pirate crew who expressed concern with the unusually hostile relationship with Pea-Tree and Squaker.

===Pea-Tree and Squaker===
Two of Captain Celaeno's crews who may or may not be [[homos|gay to each other]]. Their conflicting views of the Storm King were a central plot during the fourth and final story arc of ''Sonichu'' #12-9.

===Tempest Shadow===

Another character from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie. As the former lieutenant of the Storm King, she assisted Night Star and Kun in their mission to help Captain Celaeno.

==[[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]==

===John Yamada===
{{main|Idea Guys}}

A Gameindustri agent who informed Chris of the chaos happening in Cwcville. He serves as Chris's informant on the twisted matters of the plot and an important figure early on as he was able to bring back Chris's ability to transform, fought alongside the Sonichus and CPUs, and provided funding via bank robberies in PayDay. He is also extremely lustful, having five wives, much to Chris's annoyance.

===Akan===

Main antagonist of ''Hardcore Henry'' and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. As a Russian billionare, he funded the Russian army during the first invasion of Cwcville and ruled the city via a puppet mayor during his occupation. He is also depicted to have powers similar to Chris.

===Monika===

The major driving force of the game Doki Doki Literature Club and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. Like in the game, she has some reality bending powers, most notably memory wiping and deletion, which were used against Chris and his allies.

===Kuromi===

The evil half of Uzume Tennouboshi and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. Unlike the previous two, her powers were not completely known as she was the only one of the trio who was actually defeated.

===Emmet Brown===

The iconic scientist from the ''Back to the Future'' trilogy made a cameo assisting Sonichu by transporting him back to Virginia.

===Chris clones===

Using the DNA collected from Chris's grimy bedroom, Night Star accidentally unleashed hundreds of imperfect, blobby clones of Chris to Equestria. These situation involving the horny hordes were so severe, that the entire kingdom was evacuated so they can be napalmed.

===Past Chris===

Based on Chris's earlier comic depiction, he is possessed by Satan and a devoted follower of the Nazi ideology. Just as he was to abolish women's rights, he was killed by Present Chris.

===Ted Bundy===
{{main|Bundychu}}

Based on the American serial killer. Bundy was reincarnated as a Sonichu and serves to defend CWCville.

===Adolf Hitler===

The infamous Nazi dictator himself makes an appearance comic, who was kept alive with the Sonichu medallion and influenced past Chris's behaviors. He was initially turned to dust by Present Chris in 2000, but appeared again in 2018 in his Sonichu form.

=="[[Sonichu Special 2]]"==

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]

A small [[China|Chinese]] girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appears as the flower girl. Chris seems to be completely unaware of {{w|Ching chong|the stereotypes said character's name brings along.}}

===Officer Keino===

[[Image:Coachkein.jpg|thumb|left|Officer Keino and Coach McGuirk]]

The father of [[Ivy]] (named in honor of the [[troll]] Keine).
A blatant ripoff of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Home_Movies_characters#Coach_John_McGuirk|Coach John McGuirk]] from [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']], he is [[Ivy]]'s father. He has appeared in the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and the [[Wedding Comic]], the latter of which was shown in [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|the Marriage Proposal To Ivy]]. Chris gave Keino the Cub Scout salute, believing this is how you address a police officer.

===Other Characters===
*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs, who are ring bearers
*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear|Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of reptilian bakers
*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*An unnamed [[My Little Pony]] character - pulls the chariot that Chris and Ivy ride in
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}

==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The real Christian Weston Chandler, though he refers to himself as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] in Solid Chris's comic world. Here, he is displayed as a knife-wielding madman who wants to cut up Kacey for... no apparent reason. Ian responds by disarming him, then blowing out his shins.

===Kacey===
{{main|Kacey}}
Girlfriend of the real Chris and damsel in distress in the comic.

===Megatron===
{{main|Megatron}}
Seeing as the comic already depicted Optimus Prime mowing down evil, it's only natural that his eternal nemesis and leader of the Decepticons Megatron strike fear into the hearts of those who do good. He aids Ian by shooting an unarmed Chris in the legs.

===Kacey's Family===
All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs. Her family is comprised of:
**[[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Fighter 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry.)
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sonichu characters not seen in the comics but otherwise mentioned by Chris==
Being an avant-garde writer with little regards to outdated conventions, Chris ignores the idea of "show don't tell" and often introduces entire plots and characters in his writings rather than in his drawings. Some of those characters include:

*A [[Pokémon#Pokémon not appearing within the comics|plethora of various Pokémon]].
*A bunch of merpeople populating the lost city of Atlantis. Virtually nothing is known about them other than that they are friends of [[Bubbles]].<ref name="Bub cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bubbles_Rosechu Bubbles Rosechu]</ref>
*Terrah LeAnne Yowman, her sweetheart Tippanston Gowen, and the various unnamed students mentioned in [[The High School Story]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens#The_High_School_Story The High School Story] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref>
*A Pokémon Professor named [[Cole]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia. He examined Sonichu and Rosechu after they transformed into their current forms, and was also responsible for teleporting Rosechu to Kel when the latter was engaging in gym battles.<ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref>
*Grace Rosewell, the Reverend at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Sonichu, Rosechu and the Chaotic Combo attend her service every Sunday.<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>
*Fritz Richmond, a pastor at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Helped raise Angelica.<ref name="ang cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Angelica Rosechu]</ref>
*An ex-student of Shinabe who kills his master in revenge for an unknown slight. Punchy kills in return with a punch and buries him behind Shinabe's Dojo.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />
*Three unnamed protectors of Parodyse Island - According to [[Megagi]]'s [[Animal Crossing]] card, she and three other unnamed individuals are the protectors of Parodyse Island.<ref>[[:File:315-ACMegagiBck.jpg]]</ref> Nothing further is known about them.
*[[Perceptor Sonichu]], a female, shiny Sonichu created by the Idea Guys who was raised by Mewtwo and Magi-Chan. She has infinite knowledge, is immune to manipulation, and can destroy any Nazi technology.<ref>[[:File:PerceptorSonichu.jpeg]]</ref>

==Notes==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

List of Sonichu characters

2026-06-30T20:55:53Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Crystal Weston Chandler */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of appearance.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Christian Weston Chandler===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan Sonichu|Collosal Chan|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[File:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|The heroic Christian Weston Chandler!]]

Chris-chan's alternate self and {{w|Mary Sue}}, who, believe it or not, is meant to be the hero. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much thinner than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). Comic Chris is also even ''more'' psychotic than Real Chris, having [[4-cent garbage.com|murdered hundreds of people]] in a [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorist]] attack, permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|several]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|others]], [[Gun Comic|blown out people's kneecaps with a handgun]] after they've surrendered, [[Sonichu 0|destroyed]] the home life of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[homos]]exuals, and had four men arrested, tried in an openly biased court, and personally executed in brutal and inhumane ways. For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]]. And all with a gleeful smile on his face. His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!'', and he can access his [[Collosal Chan|Collosal]] form with the use of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].

Christian first appeared right on the front cover of [[Issue 0]], ordering Sonichu around. He cameoed throughout the rest of the comics, and took over as the main character in [[Issue 2]], which portrayed him as a descendant of the [[Cherokian Clan]] and fulfiller of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Chris has since made himself and his [[love quest]] the [[Chris and his ego|center of attention]] and main focus of the comic in every issue (with a [[Sonichu 8|few exceptions]]).

===Sonichu===
{{main|Sonichu (character)|Ultra Sonichu}}

[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|left|'I am [[gay|STRAIGHT!]]']]
Christian's "original" character. Sonichu is a recolor who is an unholy fusion of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|a Pikachu]]. In earlier episodes he was the main protagonist of the comics. That is, until Chris took the spotlight. By [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Christian had taken over as the main character, and by [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris had added [[Chaotic Combo|a new batch of recolors]] who took over from Sonichu as the supporting cast. Consequently, Sonichu didn't have a central role again until [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he returned to his original purpose as a Sue for Chris. He continued this trend through the following issue. However, he did remain in the spotlight in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], despite Chris's return, as he transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] and helped Chris in his killing spree.

===Rosechu===
{{main|Rosechu|The Incredible Lioness}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 0-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime. She is the one of the few main characters to do almost nothing for the entire series, though she did once face rape [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

[[File:Sanek.png|left|thumb|150px]]

[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the Sonic the Hedgehog game ''{{w|Sonic Adventure}}''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of Sonichu in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

===Trainer Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

[[File:KelHallOfFame.jpg|thumb|left|Wait, when did Kel ever see Rosechu again?]]
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into Rosechu. Continued to take care of Rosechu until Sonichu took over as her new pimp. She then disappeared for a long time, but when [[Sean August Watley]] later used Trainer Kel as a central character in his own comic, Moon-Pals, Christian became [[Death threats|very upset]]. When Sean was executed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris bought back Kel as his executioner, where she got her revenge on Sean for him DARING to give her a personality and a starring role.

Most of Kel's backstory and what little personality she apparently had came through the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu. According to this article, by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]] at some point. This same article also claimed however, that she was kind, sweet, innocent and caring.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu]</ref> This in spite of the fact that she shot a man to death at point-blank range. Given the contradictions, it is safe to assume that this article is non-canon.

===David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[china]], and suggesting Kel have sex with him herself. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[Simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered "Daisy" to Rosechu for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}
[[File:082-ReldnahcNotsewNaitsirhc.jpg|thumb|100px|You can tell he's gay because he is shirtless. Straight men wear [[Muscle bra|bras]]!]]

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc is Christian's polar opposite, who was found and adopted by the [[Pokémon]] villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil(er) version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin.

Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Christian [[Rape|pins him down]] and forcibly injects him with the Gay Vaccine from the future, which destroys his medallion, makes him lose his powers and turns him into a "good guy". Because as we all know, [[Chris and reality|homosexuality makes you evil]]. He was then sent to [[Kel]].

===Zapdos===
{{main|Pokémon}}

An electric type Pokémon and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of Black Sonichu.

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|Chris did once explain what this line meant. It made no more sense afterward than before.]]
Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive African American man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

He attempts to arrest Chris for soliciting in the [[CWCville]] Mall, but is defeated by Christian's use of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form. Jerkhief pulls a gun on the attacking furmonster, but Christian hits him with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], causing him to lose his wife, children and home, and making the poor man break down in tears. Another victory for the forces of good!

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]]. They are supposedly brainwashed [[slow-in-the-minds]] and College students. In spite of this, Christian has [[Chris and death|no qualms in killing them]], and doesn't even mention the possibility of curing them until way later in the series. It has also been suggested that the Jerkops leaders (aside from Mary and [[Count Graduon]]) were under similar influence, which makes Christian's cruelty to Jerkhief even worse.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

[[File:Bc.PNG]]

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}
[[File:SchuGioRetard.jpg|thumb|right|The insidious Giovanni]]
The leader of Team Rocket and villain of the first generation [[Pokémon]] games, Giovanni is determined to capture [[Sonichu]] at any cost. He teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, as Sonichu unexpectedly got help in dealing with the kidnappers, rather than going in alone like a retard, as they expected him to do. However, he only got help from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] because he bumped into him on his way to the base. So Sonichu is still retarded, just lucky.

Later on, Giovanni seems to have reevaluated his goals, and now seeks to take over [[CWCville]] and kill Christian, as he joined forces with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and helped them out during their attack on the city in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Surprisingly, he seemed to want his son Reldnahc to rule the city, rather than wanting it for himself. This shows that at least Giovanni thinks of others sometimes rather than himself, which is more than can be said for our heroes.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|left|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; [[CWCville|Eggmanland]]. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching Pokémon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots (Including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots), countless personal mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. Despite having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle again Chris. Not even a single Badnik.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
[[File:Bill1.png|thumb|Dr. Bill Schwartz, the Scientist.]]
One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

It was for quite some time canon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, [[Moon-Pals]]. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

Bill makes his grand return in the new pages of [[Sonichu 11]] drawn in [[2015]], where he witnesses the body of [[Simonla Rosechu]] come back to life via the power of ''{{w|Deus Ex Machina|deus ex machina}}''.

===Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake===
{{main|Blake}}
[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg|thumb|left|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog|someone]]?]]

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic [[Piss|urine]]-and-[[feces]] color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|hermaphrodite]].

He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Although Black Sonichu was technically introduced in the following issue, he did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu strips, [[Love quest|stalking]] [[Rosechu]].

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic, Metal Sonichu is one of the few characters that even Chris will admit is a rip-off. Despite this, he has [[Alec]]'s derivative character Metal [[Asperchu]] refer to Chris as the "original creator", either implying that Chris wanted to claim Metal Sonichu as original all along, or he wanted to [[Chris and copyright|take credit for another one of Alec's characters]]. Sadly, though, he blames the villains for it. Much like the original Metal Sonic, it is a combat robot built by [[Doctor Robotnik]] (Later retconned into [[Ren Skysoar]]) for [[Giovanni]] in the image of Sonichu, with the intention of [[Jerkops|capturing]] or [[Chris and Death|killing]] its organic counterpart.

In fitting with its role as a killing machine, it had some unique weapons and capabilities which the original Sonichu did not have- these included laser/lightning cannon-like weapons built into both of its hands/forearms, an automated targeting system built into its HUD, levitation, high speed flight and air-dashing abilities provided by the booster engine in its body, a sharpened axe blade-like tail for deadlier mid-air spin attacks, and a lightweight yet incredibly resilient armor and chassis which was capable of resisting several attacks from both Sonic and Sonichu with little apparent damage. It appears to be powered by rechargeable batteries (Or at least has them as one of its potential energy sources), as seen in its picture with Ren Skysoar showing it plugged into a wall and recharging via an extension lead on its tail. It also matches and could theoretically exceed Sonichu's [[power]] and standard abilities, although this was not seen during its initial appearance.

Metal Sonichu is defeated in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] by Sonic and Sonichu after being hit by a combined attack which hurls it into space, eventually causing it to crash into the [[Moon]]; however, the robotic clone survives this attack, as evident by the sight of its eyes glowing in the darkness and a clawed metal hand rising out of a crater, resulting in a cliffhanger.

The fans speculated that Chris probably just forgot about the robotic clone and that it would never be heard of again, but after being constantly reminded about it in the [[Mailbag]], and after Sean used Metal Sonichu for Moon-Pals, Chris suddenly declared that Metal Sonichu would be returning at some point in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]. According to Chris, the deactivated Metal Sonichu would have been found on the Moon and used as a vessel for the recently-revived [[Count Graduon]] to return to Earth, and would become the new villain- mostly because he had already removed every other major villain from the comic permanently in preparation for [[Sonichu 10|an issue]] dedicated to murdering characters based on his IRL trolls, and afterwards, [[Chris and writing|left nothing for his characters to do anymore]] as a result of it.

It was eventually seen again twelve years later in ''Sonichu'' #12, where Graduon is seen possessing Metal Sonichu's disembodied head on the Moon; coaxing [[Naitsirhc]] back to his side and giving him his old Electric Hedgehog powers back, while indirectly working with Ren Skysoar to repair the rest of the duplicate's body and escape. The entire scene plays out like the climax of the ''[[Transformers]]'' episode [https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Ghost_in_the_Machine_(G1) "Ghost in the Machine",] with Metal Sonichu/Graduon in the role of Unicron (who also appears as a disembodied head after the destruction of his body), and Naitsirhc as Starscream. The latter even [[Things Chris has ripped off|remarks beforehand]] that Graduon looks like a [https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Headmaster_(technology) Headmaster] in his new form.
{{-}}
<center><gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg|A robotic copy of a [[Sonichu (character)|copy]], and it's still the more likeable of the two.
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg|In [[Animal Crossing]] card form.
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg|Yeah...
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] variation.
File:Ren_metal.jpg|With [[Ren Skysoar]].
File:SchuComic12-1P45.jpg |Count Graduon in Metal Sonichu's form, from [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12...]]
File:SchuComic12-1P48.jpg |...and again.
</gallery></center>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s on-again off-again love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the powerful ZERO (E-100 Alpha) robot and re-united a separated family of birds, or in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is [[Women's rights|just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any Rosechu]]. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit. Interestingly, the page shows how much Chris ended up copying her design for Rosechu.

Chris later introduced two new pages to Sonichu #1 in [[October 2015]] revealing that both she and Sonic were simply disguises utilized by [[Silvana]]'s shapeshifting ability. Whether this becomes more integrated in other issues of the series is yet to be seen.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

A woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

The ''Sonichu'' version of Hanna is apparently an agent of PVCC, and the only troll in the entire comic to not be a cartoonishly evil-looking miscreant, probably due to being a woman.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli|Wasabi Rival}}

[[File:Wes Iseli.jpg|thumb|left|In his Wes-Li Sonichu form.]]
Sarah Hammer's IRL boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee.

When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as assisting in the attack on CWCville during [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer|Queen of the Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].]]

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furry just like himself.

As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone. Sarah then got married to another man, rejecting Chris yet again, and she left the city of CWCville entirely. She did cameo once more, though, in [[Sonichu Special 2]], where she dressed in drag and attended the ceremony of Christian's ill-fated marriage to [[Ivy]], acting as his best man.

===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===
[[File:Keeper.PNG|thumb|Is he old or just a kid with a beard?]]
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

[[Image:MaryLeeWalshSonicStyle.jpg|thumb|left|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as a tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. [[Chris and writing|At no point is any information about her motivation for this provided by anybody]].

Mary Lee Walsh first appeared in the comics in [[Issue 2]], but a preview of her design was shown in [[Issue 0]], and she had been mentioned in both [[sub-episodes]] that had been in previous comics. In her first full appearance, she was wielding the staff of [[Count Graduon]], and directing the Golem attacking [[CWCville]]. This is thought to be her canonical first appearance as well, and it is believed that the subepisodes all take place after [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], since the very first sub-episode features Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Throughout the comics, she did nothing but throw wave after wave of [[Jerkops]], [[Manajerks]] and other PVCC agents at Chris. Occasionally she'd help out herself, and sometimes she'd just kick back and let her robots handle it. She captured [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] in the Dark Mirror Hole at one point, but it had very little lasting consequence. Christian later confronted her as Hobo-Chan in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. There, she let Chris destroy Graduon's staff and she surrendered. Not content, Christian attacked her with two large swords. It ended with her being paralyzed for life and put in prison.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

[[Image:Count Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the most [[Pickle|phallic]] villain in the ''Sonichu'' series.]]
The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his tranny rape weapon against the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. He appeared to be destroyed after [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|GodMode!Chris]] smashes his staff in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but Chris has stated that he would bring Graduon back in a later issue, during which he would have found and possessed the deactivated Metal Sonichu on the [[Moon]], again returning to Earth as the main villain. From late-[[2015]] onwards, Chris has gradually began to place more emphasis on Graduon, creating a new design to show his true physical form, and also devising a Mii [[Super Smash Bros. Videos|that he then featured in several videos]] involving him fighting Walsh.

===Golem===
A weapon used by [[Count Graduon]] after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2, where it originally appeared as a boss controlled by Eggman.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. They would form the central cast of ''Sonichu'' for the rest of the comic, outranking even the original Sonichu in the CWCville hierarchy.

===Wild Sonichu===
{{main|Wild Sonichu}}
[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|left|Wild Sonichu, advising his one year old daughter on how best to [[Sonichu 10|mutilate a man.]]]]

The green recolor and a sort of leader to the group. Wild also partially rips off Spider-Man. He was apparently raised by a clan of weird ninja Scythers and a Venusaur. Once his father was kidnapped, he forgot all about him.

Later in life he became another member of the Great Director's private army and he served as another footsoldier in the many battles against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and PVCC. During the middle of all this dumbfuckery, he attended a Dating Education class and got paired up with a mindless twit named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. Simonla was later killed, but fortunately for Wild, the [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]] which resulted from all sex he had with her [[Chris and art#Originality|looked almost exactly like Simonla in every single way]].

===Bubbles Rosechu===
{{main|Bubbles Rosechu}}
[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg|thumb|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.

===Angelica Rosechu===
{{main|Angelica}}
[[Image:271-Angelica.jpg|thumb|left|Angelica, the embodiment of the Antichrist.]]

A white recolor. Angelica Rosechu was made to be a religious type, specifically a Catholic. Her backstory explains that she was taken in by a convent of nuns, who raised her to be a devout member of the Faith and named her Angelica after her resemblance to the biblical angels - despite this, Angelica grew up to be a filthy whore and a violent mercenary of [[CWCville]]. She evolved one night in her sleep. Chris, who somehow knew exactly where she was and when she would evolve, broke into her house to give her shoes and a scrunchie, which he left on her bed for her to find when she woke up.

Despite being billed as a pacifist and a peacemaker, she later became heavily entrenched in Christian's war against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]], and may very well have killed several people in the battle. This is pure speculation however. What isn't speculation though, was that she did, in fact, ''personally execute'' [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] - after reading him the last rites of course, [[Chris and religion|which Catholic laymen are not permitted to do]]. She charitably remarked 'May God have mercy' while doing so. This may indicate that on some level she knows that what she is doing is wrong, but it's likely that she was referring to Alec, because like Chris, she also has a huge [[ego]], and genuinely believes that people should be killed for making [[parody]] webcomics. Like Bubbles, she is also a slut. She put out for Reginald Sneasel on the first date and she has been known to [[Media:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|do things in church that would make Jesus himself cry.]]

===Punchy Sonichu===
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}

[[Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy, the Asian one.]]
The red one, Punchy is not even a recolour; he's just Knuckles the Echidna who is already red. The only difference between them is that Punchy is far more retarded and has racist looking slanty eyes.

Punchy was born in a dojo somewhere after his egg crash landed there. Immediately after hatching, he was challenged to a sparring match by the dojo owner's daughter and student, Mypoe, who [[Dragon Ball Z|ripped off his tail since it was a weakness]]. He then punched her through the roof to her presumed death. [[Excel Saga|G.D.W. Shinabe]], delighted at the murder of his daughter, decides to teach Punchy martial arts. This training was wasted on Punchy however, who just ended up using [[pokémon]] attacks for the rest of his life. Punchy later got caught up with the rest of the gang, and formed the Chaotic Combo with them. Shortly afterward, his master died under mysterious circumstances and he apparently inherited the dojo. Punchy then spent the rest of ''Sonichu'' fighting Jerkops and related enemies. He got a break from the routine in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where he took the [[Dating Education]] courses to try and learn how best to hook up with Angelica. As it turned out, Angelica would have been easy, but due to circumstances, Punchy ended up with another whore named Layla Flaaffy. Since [[Women's rights|all women are the same in Sonichu]], Punchy just rolled with it and had sex with her anyway. He later also participated in the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] executions.

===Magi-Chan Sonichu===
{{main|Magi-Chan}}
[[Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|thumb|left|When you turn your back, he's going to stab you.]]

The purple recolor. Magi-Chan was born in a mysterious cave where, upon hatching, he was contacted by the Pokémon Mewtwo, who trained him with his powers. Upon evolving into Magi-Chan, he promptly let out a fart. His training complete, Mewtwo left him and Magi-Chan would go on join the Chaotic Combo. Despite his awesome powers, Wild Sonichu was chosen over Magi-Chan as leader of the Chaotic Combo. It would be Magi-Chan who would serve as the means to locate the Sonichu Balls from their locations, accidentally causing Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]]. He would also fight Silvana from time to time as he attempted to save her from Graduon. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he frees Chris from the Time Void, goes into the future to bring the cure for homosexuality back to the present, but starts suffering due to that, yammering something about a crisis only Chris could avoid, failing to find a man high off his ass and failing to stop Evan and Simonchu from killing Simonla.

=== Sonee and Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}}

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], who appear on the first page of [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. Technically, baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu could never exist since they were created directly from a Pikachu and Raichu respectively, but that didn't stop Chris from creating them. They never made a canon appearance, but Chris recycled the designs for [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

===Scyther===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu. [[Chris and art|We think]].]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild told Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a failure to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

===Venusaur===
{{main|Pokémon}}
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.

===Swampert===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to an end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and seeming murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
[[Image:Wailord.png|200px|thumb|An actual Wailord.]]
Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica, they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from. Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, ''and'' they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
[[Image:Shinabe.jpg|thumb|left|Let it never be said Chris has no respect for [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]. He at least advertises the stuff he rips off.]]
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris's many horrible ''[[Excel Saga]]'' references. The anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', a follow-up project to ''Excel Saga''.

In ''Sonichu'', Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for ''Great Director Watanabe'', a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.

If Christian's "Sonichu" article on [[CWCipedia]] is to be taken as canon, then Shinabe was murdered by an ex-student seeking revenge for some reason ''during the middle of Punchy giving Chris a tour of the dojo''.

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in ''Sonichu'']]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of ''Puni Puni Poemy'', depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. Despite this, Chris claims that the two characters are not related.<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.284:11_to_6:01.29</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]]. She has a special place in their hearts due to being the only character that tried to put a Sonee out of its miserable existence shortly after birth.

=== Mewtwo ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Mewtwo.PNG|thumb|left|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris's idiocy.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers.

Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this though, much like all of the other sideplots [[Chris and his Ego|not involving him]], it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokémon team. Since in Pokémon lore there is only one Mewtwo, it can be assumed that this is the same one.

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Flame, who seems to be in dire need of pants, is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokémon, yet he readily uses Pokémon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Black Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

[[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|100px|Black Manajerk, the badass.]]
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]], kitted out with a suit of golden armour. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]]. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention after Chris was sucked into the [[Time Void]].

[[Chris and race|And yes, the 'B' in B-Manajerk does stand for Black]].

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], Merried Seinor Comic, also known as Kirby, is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonald's in which Chris was loitering that day. In ''Sonichu'', he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, Darkbind Sonichu arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.

===Wal-Mart Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Truly an inspiration to us all.]]
The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, W-M-Manajerk confronts Chris shortly after B-Manajerk and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.

Particularly worrying was that according to dialogue, Chris and Crystal were surprised to learn he could survive in just his head form after they removed it from his body, implying that they had intended to murder the helpless man.

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|right|Dear Lord, he's even [[gay]]er than [[Magi-Chan]]!]]
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the Manajerks at the Mal-Wart region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]]. He finally achieves this in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and then starts crying.

===Mecha-Jerkops===
{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the Manajerks to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops. One wonders what the point was when actual Jerkops are far more capable and numerous.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
===Crystal Weston Chandler===
{{main|Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)}}

Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris c. 2005 differing only in gender, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she has a super-powered electric hedgehog form she changes into – Crystalina Rosechu – through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought. Chris makes [[Chris and sex#Incest|numerous remarks about her beauty]].

=== Snorlax ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Snorlax]] who briefly appeared in Christian's 'Backyard Safari' [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops]].

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

=== ScotPalazzo ===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

ScotPalazzo is the [[Manajerk]] of Fa-Square, from the Sho-Mall Region. He is based on the manager who called the [[Jerkhief]] on Chris in real life, though he did not appear in ''Sonichu'' until Sub-Episode 6, where he for some reason became jealous that Chris had his own TV show; CWC's Backyard Safari. He decided once he was done watching it to order more Jerkops after Chris, since he was once again persisting to [[Love Quest|solicit sex in a public place]] and was still [[Story of my current days|resisting arrest]]. Or at least, that would be the [[Honest|truthful]] reason. In ''Sonichu'', however, it's because he hates love, since it caused his mother's murder suicide somehow. It's likely that the real ScotPalazzo's mother did no such thing, but Chris for some reason thinks that [[Trolls|anyone who dislikes him]] at all must have terrible and tragic lives, since [[Chris and his ego|only people with no life could ever possibly hate Chris]]! That said, ScotPalazzo is probably the only villain in Sonichu, at least until [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to have any kind of motivation, so no one's complaining. ScotPalazzo also attended Mary's villain convention after Chris was lost to the [[Time Void]].

=== Turdijerk ===
{{main|Turdijerk}}

Turdijerk is the Manajerk of the [[Get-Tar]] region. He appears in Sub-Episode 7, where he tells Chris to get out of his store because he is loitering on private property again and scaring off his customers. Unlike with previous cases where he has provoked Manajerks into a fight, this time Chris just attacked them outright after they asked him to leave. Not caring for being assaulted by loitering manchildren, Turdijerk calls [[Bagget|Marcus Bagget]] to come and deal with the potentially dangerous Chris before he attacks any more of his employees. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention.

=== Trebor Capman ===
{{main|Trebor Capman}}

Turdijerk's assistant and the second victim of Christian's unwarranted attack on the store manager. It can be assumed that his real name is Robert, given Chris's legendary love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]]. He was also present at the villain convention with his boss Turdijerk.

=== Marcus Bagget ===
{{main|Bagget}}
Yet another one of Chris's [[Sub-Episode]] characters of the week, '''Bagget''' (later ret-conned to '''Dagget''') is the leader of a group of [[Jerkop]]s in the [[Get-Tar Region]]. His efforts are supplemented by [[Crackder]] and a [[Jerkhief]]. Bagget and the Jerkops arrive shortly after Trebor Capman and Turdijerk attempt to make Chris leave a Target he had singled out as an [[Attraction Location]], but Chris refused to go. Thus, Bagget fought Chris personally using his sword, but the battle was fought to a standstill with Chris transforming into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], forcing Bagget to call in his Jerkop squad for assistance. After the Jerkhief gave Chris a wicked carpet burn and 'hog-timed' him, Bagget ordered Crackder to take the now-restrained manchild to [[PVCC]].

Unusually, Bagget never gets any form of punishment from Chris as a result of this, and disappears from the comic, only reappearing as a cameo among the council of enemies at PVCC in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. It is unknown exactly what role he played in the battle between Chris and the Chaotic Combo vs. PVCC.

Ironically, the real '''Marcus Bagett''' that Bagget is based on has received multiple awards for his heroism.

=== Crackder ===
{{main|Crackder}}

{{Incomplete}}

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===William Spicer===
The husband of Sarah Hammer. Because Chris had no clue as to what William actually looked like, Chris depicted him as a Jack's Knight, a card from the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card game franchise.

===Megan Schroeder (Meg-Chan)/Sailor Megtune===
{{main|Megan Schroeder|Sailor Megtune}}
Chris's second love interest. Based off of the actual Megan Schroeder, she moonlights as a Sailor Senshi, devoted to aiding Chris whenever he can't get off his own fat rear to do so. Despite having a very central role when she first appears, she is quickly erased from the series after her real-life counterpart gives Chris the boot in the aftermath of his ED discovery.

===Megagi La Skunk===
{{main|Megagi La Skunk}}
Megan's skunk companion. Starting out as a butch, tomboyish character with more personality than the rest of the Rosechus, her distinct nature rapidly corrodes as she gains a boyfriend in Bionic, devolving into a bland feminine cheerleader by Issue 9.

===Harriet, Joseph, Julia, Nick===
Couples harassed by Jerkops.

===Jamsta Sonichu===
{{main|Jamsta Sonichu}}

DJ for KCWC and one of the few Sonichus shown that weren't created by the Chaotic Rainbow. He has no obvious powers and speaks in outdated slang. Interestingly, Jamsta's the actual ORIGINAL Sonichu, yet he wasn't discovered and named until later, giving Sonichu all the credit.

===CWCVille Constable===
One of the few non-Jerkops in CWCVille.

===CADD Chef (alias Keneru-Meneth)===
{{main|CADD Chef}}

Another one of Slaweel's minions who does nothing but complain about building designs. The character is based off of Chris's Computer-Aided Drafting and Design and the ''South Park'' character Chef. Why Chris chose to combine these two concepts is known only to him.

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==

===Patti-Chan===
{{Main|Patti Chandler|Patti-Chan}}

Chris's beloved dog. Following her real-life death, in the comics, a combination of eating a four-leaf clover and moonbeams transformed Patti into Patti-Chan. Realizing what had happened, Chris brought his dog to CWCVille so it can live on forever. She uses her magic to protect the Mayor's office in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], then kills Alec in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] because "she's not a zombie."

===Allison Amber===
{{main|Allison Amber}}

Chris's mayoral secretary. Once a prominent Hollywood star, she bafflingly gave up the fame and fortune to work in the CWCVille Mayor's office. She essentially performs the entirety of the mayoral work in lieu of Chris while he traipses around murdering people and finding true love. When Chris became trapped in the Time Void, it was indicated that she had overtaken all of his duties until his return - presumably this made very little difference to Allison's schedule. In ''Sonichu'' #10, she rather harshly kills Sean for his promiscuous depiction of her in ''Moon-Pals''.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of teenager-aimed Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the "inspiration" of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Zelina Rosechu===
{{main|Zelina Rosechu}}

Darkbind Sonichu's love interest. She is put under a spell through the locked power of the Sonichu Crystals prior to the start of the series. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], she is awakened to much fanfare and is unsurprisingly revealed to be as unimportant and devoid of personality as all the other Rosechus.

===Clawdorf===
{{main|Clawdorf}}

Darkbind Sonichu's deadly foe. After putting Zelina into a deep sleep, he is accidentally [[Yawning Squirtle|turned into stone]] and left in a cave. He is presumed freed by Ultra Sonichu.

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Bionic the Hedgehog}}

Chris's first creation before Sonichu came into play. Thought up of after getting smacked with a Sonichu Crystal (later altered to be a basketball), Bionic became Chris's first creation. He would go into obscurity until Naitsirhc arrived on the scene, knocking out the villain with a basketball. He would soon fall in love with Megagi and go and aid Chris in his adventures, culminating in Bionic electrocuting Alec.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical ''[[Family Guy]]'' style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate representation of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

===Skelevision and Ghost Buggy===
{{main|Ghostbusters}}

Items used by the Filmation Ghostbusters in their adventures. Sammy busts through them in his "Family Guy Skitch" in his confused state.

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}

One of Chris's old classmates and one of his old high school crushes. She appears in Episode 15, discovering Chris's nude picks and is revealed to have warned Rosechu in Episode 17. Interestingly, she is one of the few who ''doesn't'' get a retconned name change.

===Bender Bending Rodriguez===
{{main|Futurama}}

A lazy self-absorbed robot who gets his kicks off of robbing people, getting drunk and all around being lazy, especially with his friend Philip J. Fry. Doesn't ''that'' sound like someone we know. Bender is seen spiraling through the time stream as Chris, Sonichu and Magi-Chan travel on.

===Joseph Herring===
{{main|Joseph Herring}}

One of the many people affected by Slaweel's attacks, this pimply faced man, later renamed Joe Herr, is seen lamenting about the loss of his girlfriend. The character is based off of a man by the same name who actually looked pretty decent.

===Beavis and Butt-Head===
{{main|Beavis and Butt-head}}

MTV's legendary icons for all things 1990, Beavis and Butt-Head were two idiotic teens who got their kicks through destruction, pervert antics and all around being complete and utter idiots. And America ''mostly'' loved them. They show up in Episode 16 slamming a locker door, mimicking a scene from one of their shorts.

===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]

Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform mentally retarded people into new Jerkops. From this it can be inferred that any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Breasted Jerkops would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

===Jason Kendrick Howell===
{{main|Jason Kendrick Howell}}

The head of 4-cent_garbage, Jason Kendrick Howell is the bald-headed, eye-patch wearing cause of Chris's torment in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Based off of the person by the same name whom Chris believes put up the Chris-Chan ED page, Jason is shown as apathetic to Sonichu's pleas before he launches a pickle at Rosechu, causing her to transform into the [[Incredible Lioness]] and face rape him. He would return in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only to decide he was going to retire from trolling Chris because tormenting him is WRONG.

===Kathleen===
{{main|Kathleen}}

Kathleen is Jason's "woman slave", seen wearing an odd BDSM outfit and in a crawling position. She stays ever faithful by Jason's side throughout the whole thing. She is based off the woman by the same name, who was Jason's girlfriend at the time.

===Blanca===
{{main|Blanca}}

The first of many troll gal-pals to appear in the comics. Blanca was the creator of Jiggliami and was present at the interview with Jamsta. In issue 8, however, it's revealed that she went back to Kentucky to be with her boyfriend.

===Jiggliami===
{{main|Jiggliami}}

Blanca's creation, an odd fusion of Amy Rose and a Jigglypuff. She is a songstress who's seeking to become popular. She appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] with an interview with Jamsta and in a Spring Break concert in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], helping the Chaotic Combo before inexplicably disappearing forever.

===Lolisa Rosechu===
{{main|Lolisa Rosechu}}

Jamsta's assistant on his radio show. Oddly, she is also the oldest Rosechu of the bunch, but because this is Chris's comic, she is conveniently shoved aside so that Rosechu is the first, thus named after her.

===Robert Simmons V===
{{main|Robert Simmons V}}

Another troll who made his way into the comic as a major fan of the comics. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he appears at Jiggliami's interview. However, after Chris learned the truth of the man, he retconned it in his [[Videobooks]] by saying he was arrested for getting too close to Chris.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

===Lovey and Thurston Howell III===
{{main|Lovey Howell|Thurston Howell III}}
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

===Beel===
{{main|Beel}}

The secretary at 4-cent_garbage, he is a devil-like creature with the [[homos|gayest]] jean shorts ever. He shows up briefly in Episode 17, but is more prominently shown in Episode 21, stealing Chris's medallion, before having it teleported away, then blasted to kingdom come. He returns just in time to berate Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus over their trolling of Chris (comparing it to working with Adolf Hitler) before disappearing.

===4-cent_garbage.com employees===
{{main|4-cent_garbage}}

The workers of 4-cent_garbage building. Chris reappears to briefly sock one of them in the face. In Episode 21, Chris returns fully and destroys the building, killing about a hundred of the employees.

===George W. Bush===
{{main|George W. Bush}}

42nd President of the United States and son of the 40th President, George H. W. Bush, he saw his highs of popularity from the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 attacks]] plummet after he initiated the War in Iraq. He is depicted in the elevator gag tipping over his successor off his ladder.

===Barack Obama===
{{main|Barack Obama}}

43rd President of the United States and first [[niggo|African-American president]]. Obama is depicted in the elevator gag attempting to paint the White House black, but is stopped by Bush.

===John McCain===
{{main|John McCain}}

Obama's opponent in the 2008 elections and former US Senator. He yells at Obama for painting the White House black.

===Hilary Clinton===
{{main|Hillary Clinton}}

New York Senator, former First Lady to 41st President Bill Clinton and one of five potential candidates in the Democratic nominee for President. She's present as Obama paints the White House.

===Sarah Palin===
{{main|Sarah Palin}}

Former Alaskan governor, John McCain's running mate and all-around gullible bag of bricks. This "bulldog with lipstick" was present as Obama painted the White House.

===Simonla Rosechu===
{{main|Simonla Rosechu}}

Wild Sonichu's fuck toy, Simonla Rosechu is the unholy monstrosity created when Chris took Simonchu Sonichu, a creation by [[Evan]] (who in turned based it off of Simon the Digger of ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'') and gave it breasts and china. Simonla first appears when she joins the other Rosechus in "stripping for [[Women's Rights]], introducing her friend Zapina. She's later paired up with Wild in Dating Education before aiding said Sonichu in defending CWCVille from Slaweel's attack. However, Simonla would meet her demise by a Voltorb blowing itself up, killing her ''on the toilet''.

===Zapina Rosechu===
{{main|Zapina Rosechu}}

A young (under-age) Rosechu who's friends with Simonla. She first appears trying to join some of the other Rosechus in stripping publicly for Women's Rights, but Rosechu shoots down that idea because of the "dumb" child pornography laws. She is later seen defending CWCVille from Slaweel and her minions.

===Greta Squall===
[[File:Greta.PNG|thumb|There are blind five-year-olds who can draw better human figures. With their feet.]]
News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News", obviously a parody of Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren. Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.

===Silvana Rosechu===
{{main|Silvana Rosechu}}

Another missing Rosechu, she was found on [[The Motherfucking Moon]] by Count Graduon and turned evil, giving her shapeshifting powers and a [[duck|penis]]. She appears in Episode 18, fucking Blake disguised as Bubbles before being driven off. She appears again in Episode 20, fighting Magi-Chan and appears one last time, disguising herself as a malformed Meg Griffin. According to Chris, Silvana would lose her powers and her dick when Graduon's staff was shattered and she would soon fall in love with Magi-Chan.

===Yawning Squirtle===
{{main|Yawning Squirtle}}

A Squirtle that is seen yawning and given a very stoned look. Many trolls took it that the Squirtle was actually high off of weed and ran with it. In retaliation, Chris mentioned that this Squirtle was actually an old friend of Bubbles and that it was also captured and not shot to the moon.

===Sea Pokémon===

Comprised of [[Mudkips]], [[Seadra]], [[Goldeen]], [[Staryu]], [[Corsola]], [[Octillery]], [[Mantine]], and [[Corphish]]. Note that Mudkip are found in swamps, not the ocean.

===Optimus Prime===
{{main|Optimus Prime}}

Supreme Commander of the Autobots and hero of the Transformers franchise. He is considered to be one of Chris's idols. However, he is depicted in Issue 8 as a grand hero (or a murderer, however you want to look at it), killing Decepticon spy Sarah Jackson.

===Sarah Jackson===
{{main|Sarah Jackson}}

One of Chris's sweethearts and Decepticon spy. She is given a memorial by depicting the heroic Optimus Prime running down her truck in his truck form.

===Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (aka Panda Halo)===
{{main|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda Halo}}

The third of Chris's gal-pals. She is given a shout out in Issue 8, only to be depicted dying in an a fire in Issue 9, mirroring her real-life "demise" which Chris concocted with no impetus.

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==

===Sarah Jackaras===

Sarah Jackson's second comic persona. She is depicted as a teacher for Chris's demented Dating Education class. At the end of the episode, her sister nonchalantly announces her death before handing out test scores.

===George Philip===
A kid in Dating Education. He resembles Kenny from ''[[South Park]]''. He was matched up with Ivy, but got screwed because Ivy was holding out for Chris.

===Layla Flaaffy===
{{main|Layla Flaaffy}}

Ivy's companion, who does not even vaguely resemble a Flaaffy. She ends up hooking up with Punchy in Episode 19 and is shown one last time blasting away a bunch of Jerkops with a Thunder attack in Episode 20.

===Ivy===
{{main|Ivy}}

The last of the real-life sweethearts to show up in the ''Sonichu'' comics (excluding the specials) thus far. She ends up having a vision where God and Jesus tell her that she is to be Chris's one true love. Irrespective of this, she is strangled by elevator wire in Episode 20.

===Reginald Sneasel===
{{main|Reginald Sneasel}}

Chris's Mary Sue character that fills in for him while he is still trapped in the Time Void. He despises [[Niggo|darkies]] and attempts to break up Punchy and Layla only for Angelica to feel sorry for him and be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].

===God/Jesus===
{{main|God/Jesus}}

Our Creator and our Lord and Savior. They appear in a vision to let Ivy know that she and Chris were meant to be. However, since Ivy dies in the next episode, it's hard not to imagine they were trolling the two in the process.

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|Florance Fisher]]

One of the few [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil, although she is extremely peripheral. She is rejected by Reginald Sneasel, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

===Rita Jackaras===

Sarah's sister. She replaces Sarah after offhandedly revealing she died somehow during the students' lunch break, then begins handing out test scores. Judging by her [[Speech impediment|odd speech patterns]], she may be [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]].

===Other students===

Comprised of:
*Amy Testa
*Clem Jennings
*Geraldine Beglan
*Fred Shiflet
*Emily Ryan
*Unnamed computer-lab attendant
*Clyde Raymond Cwash- Scored the lowest on the dating test. An obvious stab at [[Clyde Cash]], even though in real life<ref>Or at least in what Chris [[Chris and reality|believes is real life]]</ref> he not only succeeded in two tasks Chris has so far failed - [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo|getting married and having a child]] - but also achieved those goals using [[Chris and sex#Rape|extremely Chris-like methods]].

===Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels===
{{main|Scoundrals As Vessels}}

Evil PVCC Decepticons, they're mass produced and act as heavy-duty attackers. Repaint of Swindle from ''Transformers Animated''

===Samurai Pizza Bots===
{{main|Samurai Pizza Bots}}

CWCVille's main machine protectors and obvious Autobot rejects. This team is comprised of:
*[[Prower]] - Punchy's motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from ''Transformers Animated''
*[[Son-Chu]] - a depiction of Chris's real-life car with a "SONICHU" vanity plate
*[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from ''Transformers Animated''. Also a pizza delivery car.
*[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from ''Revenge of the Fallen''.
*[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from ''Transformers Animated''. Even has a guitar as a weapon.

===Blazebob Sonichu and Chloe Rosechu===
{{main|Blazebob Sonichu|Chloe Rosechu}}

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]].<ref>From the CWCipedia "Sonichu" page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."''</ref> They are saved by Panda before her gruesome death and start bawling at her death before a firefighter tells them to move their asses.

===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The ''Sonichu'' variation of Liquid Chris. This ground-type Sonichu is easily curb-stomped by Sonichu before he can really get the chance to attack. It's said that Liquid's medallion was made out of paper.

===Cerah, Christine, and Robbie===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Children}}

The demonic spawn of Sonichu and Rosechu. Robbie is known for his screechy voice and [[speech impediment]], Christine is known for being [[Chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] and "shiny" (read: not really Sonichu's), and Cerah is known for absolutely nothing at all. All are equally abominable in the eyes of the Lord. These three simply show up at the end of the comic with only one extremely minor mention prior to then, and their births have never been shown. It is extremely likely that these three were created in response to trolls pointing out that Sonichu and Rosechu were having premarital underage sex. They feature all too heavily subsequent to their sudden introduction.

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==

===Bugs Bunny===
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

===Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez===
[[Image:geraldandlouie.JPG|thumb|Constables Gerald (left) and Louis, with firm friend Sonichu.]]

Two of [[CWCville]]'s policemen (true blue, not [[Jerkops]]) who show up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]]. Despite this being their first appearance, they are shown as good friends of [[Sonichu]].

Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]].

Louis is the [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.

===The Asperpedia Four===
[[Image:Maoalecevansean.jpg|thumb|The Asperpedia Four on trial. (Clockwise from the top: Mao, Alec, Evan, Sean.)]]

The main users of the Asperpedia. They are arrested and executed by Chris and the others for their roles in the death of Simonla. The four are:

*[[Alec Benson Leary]] - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly." Is electrocuted by Chris and the Chaotic Combo.
*[[Evan]] - Simonchu's creator. Is castrated and drilled to death by Sandy and Wild.
*[[Sean August Watley]] - Creator of Moon-Pals. Is shot to death by Allison, Bill the Scientist, and Kel.
*[[Asperpedia|Mao]] - Asperpedia admin. Is [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|broken]] and killed by Chris.

Chris would, in an attempt to appear like a less psychotic human being, make a new ending for Sonichu 10, wherein the four are condemned to live in a Amish community for the rest of their lives, which results in them becoming a bunch of [[slow-in-the-minds]] who spew [[random-access humor]].

===Sackboy===
{{main|Little Big Planet}}

The mascot and main character of the ''Little Big Planet'' game franchise. He appears in issue 10 to tell readers not to buy unauthorized copies of ''LBP'' for the [[Hex Box]].

===Jimmy Hill===
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

Famed former soccer player turned commentator who was used as part of a trolling scheme against Chris. He is depicted in Issue 10 getting his teeth knocked out by Chris-Chan Sonichu's Hyper Beam before being scolded by Bugs Bunny.

===Clyde Cash===
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

Infamous troll who helped inspire many others. In actuality, Clyde's first appearance was in ''[[Sonichu Special 1]]'', capturing Ivy and trying to kill both Chris and Ivy when they escape. In issue 10, he's depicted as a panicking man as the 4-cent_garbage building began falling. Unwilling to let Chris kill him, he takes the hand of his lover, Jack Thaddeus, and leap to his death.

===Jack Thaddeus===
{{main|Jack Thaddeus}}

Person who owned the ads at the CWCkipedia and forced Chris to hump his [[PS3|Life Upgrade]]. He is depicted as another panicking man in the 4-cent_garbage building. He joins his lover, Clyde Cash, in leaping to their deaths, unwilling to let Chris have his victory.

===Meg Griffin===
{{main|Meg Griffin}}

Middle child of the fictional Griffin family, usually depicted as being ignored and ridiculed by her family and just about everyone else. In Issue 10, she was a disguise by Silvana, who appeared, told Chris how awesome he was, shared a kiss with him, then disappeared. Worst troll ever.

===Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu===
{{main|Asperchu}}

Star of Alec Benson Leary's comic of the same name. When Ultra Sonichu appears, he takes away his personality and Asperger's and transforms him into Mitch Sonichu (and Chris expected Alec to follow suit).

===Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)===
{{main|Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)}}

Formerly the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, Wild and Magi-Chan. Ultra Sonichu appears and removes their "Asperger's" (despite none of them actually having the condition) and gives them new identities of Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu.

===Metal Asperchu===

A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.

===Basement Rosechus===
{{main|Basement Rosechus}}

A group of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris was implying that they were raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

===Inos===
{{main|Inos}}

A homeless man discovered by Ultra Sonichu. To his horror, Inos is discovered with a five year cold and under the influence of weed. Ultra Sonichu steals his weed away then has the police slap his wrist. He later reappears during the Christmas special to compliment [[Blake]] and wish him a Happy Kwanzaa, but Blake responds with anger and some subdued [[racism]]. Blake attempts to attack Inos, but [[Bubbles]] tells him to 'stand down'.

===Simonchu===
{{main|Simonchu}}
[[File:SimonlaSimonchuHaiti.JPG|150px|thumb|right|Simonchu (right) and [[Simonla Rosechu|his infringed counterpart]].]]
The main hero of [[Evan]]'s Simonchu comics and Wild's lover in Asperchu. He attempts to kill his evil clone Simonla, but is stopped by Magi-Chan.
{{-}}

===Toilet Exploding Voltorb===
[[Image:Toiletexplodingvoltorb.png|thumb|Simonla's killer.]]

The Pokémon that kills Simonla with Self-Destruct.

===Sandy Rosechu===
{{main|Sandy Rosechu}}

The bastard child of Wild and Simonla. She is forced to be evolved by Wild and is trained by different Pokémon just so she can ''tear Evan's genitals out''.

===Judge Slack Lewis===

The judge presiding the case of the Asperpedia Four. He has an obvious bias towards Chris and allows everything that goes on. He may or may not be a rip-off of {{w|Lewis Black}}, a comedian who would likely rage at Chris and the comic.

===Marvey Blaziken===

A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the law|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

===Spiny Norman===

An actual hedgehog, Chris shoehorned in an incredibly minor reference to an early ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' sketch on the page calling out [[Jimmy Hill]], presumably because Chris' only exposure to the British seems to be from TV shows.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==
===Kevin===
{{main|Kevin the Jew}}

An unseen friend of [[Cerah Rosey]]. Since he's Jewish, Cerah bakes him as a gift a candle-shaped cookie for Hanukkah, due to the candle-related symbolism in this holiday's rituals, despite the fact that a biscuit of any shape would have been accepted for such a celebration. Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply asking if he's allergic, she just assumes it.<ref>[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], p. [:image:SchuComic11P4.jpg|4].</ref> Because Jews are sickly Melvins with many allergies, you see. He later appears for the first time in a visual role in ''Sonichu'' #11's adaptation of ''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]'', and heavily resembles a character from ''Peanuts''.

==[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]==
===Vulva Pie===
{{main|Jackie}}

A pink cat who was Jackie's OC. In the comic, she was Robbie/Roberta's former classmate and girlfriend. Their relationship ended after [[Jackie|her mother]] whisked her away.

===Jackie===

Though not directly named, she is the mother of Vulva Pie who took her daughter to somewhere else to spite Chris and Robbie/Roberta.

===Mimi===

Originally a character from a [[Commissions#The_Flufflehugs_Commissions|commission]], she was another girlfriend that Robbie/Robert once dated.

===Danny Steckle===
{{main|DStecks}}

A character obviously based on a man who donated Chris $1000. He was thanked by Angelina in the Cwcville Pride Festival for his generous donations to the town's soup motels.

===Russel Sonee and Cynthia Rosey===
In Facebook post from 21 May 2015, Chris describes how Chris-chan Sonichu's form has turned into a female one. While still being in his Chris-chan Sonichu form, Chris inseminates himself with a sample of his semen that he produced while still in his human form. Two weeks he laid two eggs, and three weeks afterwards a Sonee and Rosey hatched from them. Chris named the Sonee Russel and the Rosey Cynthia. They both respectively developed into a Sonichu and Rosechu later on, with Russel developing an interest in Britain and English culture and Cynthia developing an interest in her Cherokee roots and becoming a naturist. According to Chris they have no birth defects, not even their parent's autism.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> After two years of being mentioned but not appearing in the comic, they debut as a cameo at the Pride Festival.

===Cole Smithey===
{{main|Cole Smithey}}
Chris's half-brother appears as a brainwashed [[jerkop]] who attempted to ambush Chris, only to hit an illusionary double. He was then knocked out cold by Chris and sent to a pocket dimension.

==[[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]==

===Night Star===
{{main|Night Star}}

Chris's psychic-type ponysona and the main protagonist of the issue. She was born on the same day as Chris and shares his heterochromia. Like the Mary Sue she is, she has immense psychic powers and the ability to transform into a Sonichu form to fight evil. She also has the ability to create portals, which she uses liberally in almost any given situation.

===Sugar Darling and Gallop Crush===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}} {{main|Bob Chandler}}

Night Star's parents who were obviously based on Chris's parents.

===Lyra===

Made a brief cameo congratulating Night Star in hatching a dragon egg.

===Vinyl Scratch/DJ Pon-3===
{{main|Vinyl Scratch}}
Two incarnations of the DJ appeared. One in her Canterlot form and another in her pony form.

===Half of the Mane Six===

Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack would make brief cameos thoughout the comic.

===Diamond Melody===
{{main|Jessica Quinn|Diamond Melody}}

Based on Jessica Quinn, she was Night Star's first love. They would date by traveling around CWCville until she shamefully moved away after meeting her real-life counterpart.

===Nepgear===
{{main|Hyperdimension Neptunia}}

Younger sister of Purple Heart. She appeared and accompanied Night Star and Diamond Melody to a concert.

===Discord===

A draconequus and the spirit of chaos. In the Sonichu lore, he serves as Chris's bodyguard and appeared in the comic discussing plans of a fundraiser with Night Star.

===Kun T'Nyuget/Kun Hanhphuc===
{{main|Kun T'Nyuget}}

Joshua Wise created his ponysona, Kun T'Nyuget, as part of the trolling plan. However, due to the intervention of [[Kiwi Farms]] he was renamed as Kun Hanhphuc by the time of his debut. Like Rosechu, he is mostly useless and serves as a tag-along and someone who needs to be rescued.

===Rei Ryghts===

The CPU of the fallen nation of Tari and represents the Atari 2600. She is the head of the Seven Sages and the main antagonist of Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory. She was seen terrorizing Cwcville and making short work of Night Star before the other CPUs came and defeated her.

===Captain Celaeno===

A character whose first and only known appearance was in the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie. She is an anthropomorphic parrot who is the captain of a pirate crew who expressed concern with the unusually hostile relationship with Pea-Tree and Squaker.

===Pea-Tree and Squaker===
Two of Captain Celaeno's crews who may or may not be [[homos|gay to each other]]. Their conflicting views of the Storm King were a central plot during the fourth and final story arc of ''Sonichu'' #12-9.

===Tempest Shadow===

Another character from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie. As the former lieutenant of the Storm King, she assisted Night Star and Kun in their mission to help Captain Celaeno.

==[[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]==

===John Yamada===
{{main|Idea Guys}}

A Gameindustri agent who informed Chris of the chaos happening in Cwcville. He serves as Chris's informant on the twisted matters of the plot and an important figure early on as he was able to bring back Chris's ability to transform, fought alongside the Sonichus and CPUs, and provided funding via bank robberies in PayDay. He is also extremely lustful, having five wives, much to Chris's annoyance.

===Akan===

Main antagonist of ''Hardcore Henry'' and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. As a Russian billionare, he funded the Russian army during the first invasion of Cwcville and ruled the city via a puppet mayor during his occupation. He is also depicted to have powers similar to Chris.

===Monika===

The major driving force of the game Doki Doki Literature Club and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. Like in the game, she has some reality bending powers, most notably memory wiping and deletion, which were used against Chris and his allies.

===Kuromi===

The evil half of Uzume Tennouboshi and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. Unlike the previous two, her powers were not completely known as she was the only one of the trio who was actually defeated.

===Emmet Brown===

The iconic scientist from the ''Back to the Future'' trilogy made a cameo assisting Sonichu by transporting him back to Virginia.

===Chris clones===

Using the DNA collected from Chris's grimy bedroom, Night Star accidentally unleashed hundreds of imperfect, blobby clones of Chris to Equestria. These situation involving the horny hordes were so severe, that the entire kingdom was evacuated so they can be napalmed.

===Past Chris===

Based on Chris's earlier comic depiction, he is possessed by Satan and a devoted follower of the Nazi ideology. Just as he was to abolish women's rights, he was killed by Present Chris.

===Ted Bundy===
{{main|Bundychu}}

Based on the American serial killer. Bundy was reincarnated as a Sonichu and serves to defend CWCville.

===Adolf Hitler===

The infamous Nazi dictator himself makes an appearance comic, who was kept alive with the Sonichu medallion and influenced past Chris's behaviors. He was initially turned to dust by Present Chris in 2000, but appeared again in 2018 in his Sonichu form.

=="[[Sonichu Special 2]]"==

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]

A small [[China|Chinese]] girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appears as the flower girl. Chris seems to be completely unaware of {{w|Ching chong|the stereotypes said character's name brings along.}}

===Officer Keino===

[[Image:Coachkein.jpg|thumb|left|Officer Keino and Coach McGuirk]]

The father of [[Ivy]] (named in honor of the [[troll]] Keine).
A blatant ripoff of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Home_Movies_characters#Coach_John_McGuirk|Coach John McGuirk]] from [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']], he is [[Ivy]]'s father. He has appeared in the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and the [[Wedding Comic]], the latter of which was shown in [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|the Marriage Proposal To Ivy]]. Chris gave Keino the Cub Scout salute, believing this is how you address a police officer.

===Other Characters===
*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs, who are ring bearers
*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear|Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of reptilian bakers
*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*An unnamed [[My Little Pony]] character - pulls the chariot that Chris and Ivy ride in
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}

==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The real Christian Weston Chandler, though he refers to himself as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] in Solid Chris's comic world. Here, he is displayed as a knife-wielding madman who wants to cut up Kacey for... no apparent reason. Ian responds by disarming him, then blowing out his shins.

===Kacey===
{{main|Kacey}}
Girlfriend of the real Chris and damsel in distress in the comic.

===Megatron===
{{main|Megatron}}
Seeing as the comic already depicted Optimus Prime mowing down evil, it's only natural that his eternal nemesis and leader of the Decepticons Megatron strike fear into the hearts of those who do good. He aids Ian by shooting an unarmed Chris in the legs.

===Kacey's Family===
All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs. Her family is comprised of:
**[[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Fighter 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry.)
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sonichu characters not seen in the comics but otherwise mentioned by Chris==
Being an avant-garde writer with little regards to outdated conventions, Chris ignores the idea of "show don't tell" and often introduces entire plots and characters in his writings rather than in his drawings. Some of those characters include:

*A [[Pokémon#Pokémon not appearing within the comics|plethora of various Pokémon]].
*A bunch of merpeople populating the lost city of Atlantis. Virtually nothing is known about them other than that they are friends of [[Bubbles]].<ref name="Bub cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bubbles_Rosechu Bubbles Rosechu]</ref>
*Terrah LeAnne Yowman, her sweetheart Tippanston Gowen, and the various unnamed students mentioned in [[The High School Story]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens#The_High_School_Story The High School Story] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref>
*A Pokémon Professor named [[Cole]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia. He examined Sonichu and Rosechu after they transformed into their current forms, and was also responsible for teleporting Rosechu to Kel when the latter was engaging in gym battles.<ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref>
*Grace Rosewell, the Reverend at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Sonichu, Rosechu and the Chaotic Combo attend her service every Sunday.<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>
*Fritz Richmond, a pastor at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Helped raise Angelica.<ref name="ang cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Angelica Rosechu]</ref>
*An ex-student of Shinabe who kills his master in revenge for an unknown slight. Punchy kills in return with a punch and buries him behind Shinabe's Dojo.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />
*Three unnamed protectors of Parodyse Island - According to [[Megagi]]'s [[Animal Crossing]] card, she and three other unnamed individuals are the protectors of Parodyse Island.<ref>[[:File:315-ACMegagiBck.jpg]]</ref> Nothing further is known about them.
*[[Perceptor Sonichu]], a female, shiny Sonichu created by the Idea Guys who was raised by Mewtwo and Magi-Chan. She has infinite knowledge, is immune to manipulation, and can destroy any Nazi technology.<ref>[[:File:PerceptorSonichu.jpeg]]</ref>

==Notes==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

Chris chan (CWCipedia)

2026-06-28T23:38:24Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Chris-Chan the Moralf** */

:''This article is about the annotated [[ED]] page made by Chris and posted on [[CWCipedia]]. For details on Chris-chan himself, please see [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. For details on the ED forum about Chris, please see [[Chris-chan (forum)]].''

The '''Chris chan''' article on the [[CWCipedia]] was an entry Chris uploaded to his wiki on 17-18 [[December 2009]] in order to "correct" most of Chris's article on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

Chris did not simply copy and paste the text from the ED article; he retyped it completely, as he admitted at the beginning of his version. As a result, there are [[Chris and English|several typos]] in his version that were not in the version of the ED article that he copied. In addition, Chris omitted several paragraphs entirely from his version of the article, including one about the [[Medallion of Fail]] and another that concerned slanderous mockeries, such as the [[nudes]] and [[sex tape]] (although he later acknowledged [[For Julie's Eyes Only|the Kimmi video]] in one of his comments).

It also confirms that Chris [[Autism|cannot understand subtlety]]. Parts of the page which are obviously not meant as serious (such as him being a [[Molvanîa|communist]]) are taken seriously, while the 4Chan meme jokes fly right over his head. Further, while some aspects of the page could be considered personal opinions (and in some rare cases, Chris actually did correct parts of the article for truth, such as how many [[attraction locations]] he was kicked out from), most of Chris's "corrections" are blatant lies.

Immediately after typing this, Chris demanded that the CWCipedia [[ChrisChanSonichu_and_WikiSysop_correspondence#The_revised_ED_Page|Sysop]] copy over all the hyperlinks from the original ED article so Chris can add those to his own wiki.

== Note that... ==

* Rather than censoring it, Chris bolds the statement saying that he's [[homos|homophobic]].
* Another doubtless fact: According to Chris's bolding, Chris also denies that Leviticus forbade [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaving]], wearing [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear with elastic straps]], or [[Sonic|crossbreeding]] [[Pikachu|animals]].
* As for religious tolerance, Chris bolds the statement that he is a [[Chris and religion|"prolific hater of all things not Christian"]]. Yes, he himself confirmed that as a fact.
* He bolds the statement accusing him of creating several sockpuppet accounts on ED to vandalize his ED page. He then reiterates that the reason behind his ED edits, which were the main cause of his subsequent downfall, was a [[Honor roll|bizarrely ignorant]] belief that an "Information Overload" (i.e. "adding a lot of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|shitty porn pics]] and other self-compromising info") would somehow take his ED page down.
* He unfoundedly denies that he failed in his war against [[ED]] and other [[Troll]] sites, and then bolds that his plea to his [[Trolls|"fans"]] to not donate to ED failed.
*He refuses to admit that his nonexistent [[True and Loyal Fanbase|Sonichu fans]] are [[Trolls|nonexistent]], and that his "fans" didn't bring ED down (completely ignoring the subsequent explanation that it was caused by an issue related to the website as a whole)... and then bolds a completely unexpected revelation: that [[True and Loyal Fanbase|the only people who pay attention to Chris]] are ED donors.
* To top all of this, Chris sadly bolds that his reactions to [[Trolls|trolling]] always make things worse.
* Chris surprisingly bolds a statement saying that Mary Lee Walsh was reasonable to assume that Chris was publicly soliciting for [[Hanky-panky|sex]]. Getting back to Earth, he then quickly tries to correct himself, adding that he was not soliciting "anything Other Than Honest [[Gal-pal|Friendship]], that would etc. etc"... thus actually admitting to being a solicitor.
* Chris has generously "forgiven" [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for her past "misdeeds". He also tells us that she tried to ask Chris unofficially not to loiter on [[Attraction Location|college grounds]], but the Chandlers chose to not accept her letter.
*Chris bolds that he still blames [[ED]] for breaking him up with [[Megan]], despite knowing full well that [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|the image that ended their friendship]] was dreamt up, drawn, colored, scanned and uploaded to ED by himself. He also (finally!) admits, by bolding it, that Megan was never his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].
* Chris denies that he changes [[sweethearts]] frequently. He also bolds that [[Blanca]] was [[Troll|real]], and adds that he [[Naive|trusted her]], and that he "dumped her sorry ass" after "she" destroyed his [[Medallion of Fail]].
* He also expresses his belief that there is absolutely no difference between making a conversation with a [[BlueSpike|9-year-old girl]] and a [[Julie|grown-up woman]].
* He bolds that he wouldn't date an autistic, high-functioning or otherwise. The explanation is that he doesn't want to date [[Autism|''high-functioning'' autistic]] women because he "may be seeing a mirror" reflecting what he would become if he were a [[Slow-in-the-minds|''low-functioning'' autistic]]. To recap: he thinks that a ''high-functioning'' autistic woman acts like Chris would if he were ''low-functional''. Is he being [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] or just [[Women's Rights|sexist]]?
* He admits that his parents finally advised him [[Honest Content|not to tell every woman he meets]] that he's a [[Virgin with Rage]]. FINALLY.
* At first Chris vehemently denies that he owns [[Kimmi|blow-up sex dolls]]. Then he bolds the statements about him owning a sex doll, taking part in all those [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"JULAAAY!"]] shenanigans, and buying [[sex toys]] and porn vids since [[2003]]. Then in yet another comment he confirms that he purchased straight porn and sex dolls.
* Chris reveals that his vast knowledge about sex and relationships stems from MORE than just watching [[Rule 34|porn]]! His other sources include: [[Date Ed|Sex Ed]], [[I Love Lucy|chick flicks]], [[gal-pals]]' advice, and something called "Relationship Management courses".
* Then announces that he knows about [[Chris and sex|sex]] and [[Love Quest|relationships]] "a LOT" more than any "God-D***ed [[Troll]]" will ever know... including, you know, trolls who are actually [[JERKS|in relationships]] and are not [[Virgin with Rage|Virgins with Rage]]...
* The [[Geinus|guru]] continues to open our eyes, saying that everything we knew about relationships & sex is wrong! "Because while they ONLY think they know or even understand, they Really Do Not Understand At All; THEY ARE DUMBA**ES!"
* Chris [[Naive|bolds]] all excessive positive epithets used in the [[ED]] article as [[Parody|irony]]. He then denies that he has any [[Chris and his ego|unwarranted self-importance]]. However, a few paragraphs later, he expresses his honest belief that [[Chris and his ego|actual real-world people would build a city in Virginia named "CWCville" and a "CWCville Mall" in this city, and dedicate them to Chris]].
* Chris also bolds a confession that he "[[Life Upgrade|upgrades]]" his self-confidence by using vitamins.
* He also bolds that [[CWC-isms#I|HE CAN FEEL THE COSMOS]]!
* Chris also denies several times... that [[CWCville]] is imaginary and fictional. [[Chris and reality|OH. MY. GOD.]]

=The Actual Article=

'''From Christian Weston Chandler,'''

**Finally, the Truth, False and the Exaggerated are Personally Sorted out from that which has plagued me since November, 2007. I will be retyping the paragraphs of the page verbatim, but with the following additions,

**'''Bold Statements [[Honest Content|are TRUE without question]].'''
**<s>Striked Statements</s> [[List of Chris's lies|are FALSE without question]].
**Statements that are Neither '''Bold''' or <s>Striked</s> will be personally explained in ''(Parenthesis with Italtics)'', or otherwise are personal commentary in few other portions.
**Portions of the Titles of the segments will be <s>striked</s> appropriately for content and exaggerations.
**And all curse and dirty words [[CWC-isms|will be appropriately censored]].
**'''[[April 16 Fetish Vids|Reader Supervision]]/[[For Julie's Eyes Only|Discretion is Advised.]]'''

**Also, I purposely have not, and will not, include all images and their comments in this page for content purposes of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|portryals of nudity]], wrongful-types of [[parody]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|retardness]] and stupidity, and such.

**Should any new text come up on that ED page that are not in this page after full completion appear, or if you have any questions about it, please send those notes and questions to the [[Mailbag]], and I will address them appropriately then.

**So, without further ado, here is Encyclopedia Dramatica's "Chris_chan" page, Personally Edited.
--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 23:44, 17 December 2009 (CET)

==Behold, <s>the Mistake of God:</s> Christian Weston Chandler. ''(The Only Mistake of God were THE PEOPLE who contributed to the Original E.D. Page)''==

'''Born February 24, [[1982]], Christian is''' a <s>[[naive]], [[Chris and sex|perverse]],</s> [[Obesity|overweight]] ''(I am working on losing the belly)'' <s>[[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Pedofork|pedophilic]],</s> '''[[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|homophobic]]''' <s>un</s>'''patriotic'''<s>communist b******, self-proclaimed</s> '''high-functioning autistic virgin [[Chris's room|man'''<s>-child</s>''']], and creator of his own skillfully-drawn series of [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] starring [[Sonichu]] - his supremely insightful crossover of [[Pokemon|Pikachu]] and [[Sonic]]. As well as "suffering" from [[Chris and English|atuisim]]''' ''([[Autism#Autism_cured.3F|which I still am for real]])'', <s>Chris also suffers from a sever case of [[Chris and his Ego|unwarranted self-importance]], the only cure for which would be to remove his head from his consequently gaping a**. At the time of this writing, Chris has found neither the time nor the conviction to do so.</s> ''(What the Hell is WRONG with these people?)''

'''Other names for Chris-Chan include: CWC ''(Christian Weston Chandler)'', クリスちゃん, [[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]''', <s>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Ian Brandon Something]], The Impostor, [[Sammy]], Antonio, [[Metal Gear|Solid Chris]] or any other lulzy names trolls can make up for him, which will make him throw a [[Chris and anger|tantrum]].</s>

But it gets far worse, my friends... ''(For that ED Page, that is, LOL. Although, F.Y.I., '''"LULZ" is short for "Laughs Under Lucricities"''')''

==Chris in Person ''(From THEIR Point of View)''==

It is of utmost importance that, before one ever enters a fixed one-mile radius around Christian Weston Chandler's [[Ruckersville, VA]] habitat, one is well-acquainted with the facts regarding this man's ''(HERE COMES SOME REAL TORTURED VIEWS OF OPINIONS)'' <s>bleak existence, and the mortal and immediate danger that one's proximity to him represents, bot to one's mental and physical well-being. In order to maintain his jaw-droppingly destrucive lifestyle, as we will explore,</s> Chris has had to sacrifice any of the normal human customs practiced in modern society, and seems to have synthesized an entirely new list of traits which he believes better-equips him to indulge in his trademark fantastical escapism via invented comic book characters, <s>[[Kimmi|blow-up]] [[Sex toys|sex dolls]], and [[Chris and his Ego|egomania]].</s> ''(Such of my personal views do help make life more easier in my point of view, and the few considerably "Sacrificed Normal Human Customs", I.M.H.O, would be constant eye-contact with most people, self-confidence ('''Which is being UPGRADED with "[[IPods Down and Listen Up|Stock Market Rising]]" Vitamins of A and D''') in meeting people unassisted by others and internet, and being stuck on Routines of which new ones can be included with good, constant practice on my part.)'' To wit:

**<s>He rarely shuts up about [[Sonichu]],</s> the self-endorsed, self-authored and mind-nubing allegory of Chris's life, as viewed through his own massive, [[1985]]-throwback rose-tinted glasses. ''(Sonichu's life is [[Sonichu#Sonichu_as_a_Mary_Sue|different from my own]], so I do not consider his life to be equivalent to mine, Also, Sonichu is NOT Autistic. And I DO talk about a lot of OTHER topics that come to mind; I do have a real life and I stay in tune to current topics now and then.)''
**<s>His skin and [[Hair|hair]] is covered in a semi-permeable and self-renewing film of grease; not incomparable to an arctic permafrost of dead skin cells and sweat, proving definitively that he never showers.</s> ''(I Shower Daily and Thoroughly.)''
**He wears recycled shirts from the Salvation Army ''(And Goodwill, but I also wear [[Chris and fashion|clothing]] that were purchased from fine stores such as Sears, JCPenny, American Eagle, Pacific Sunwear, etc)'' <s>and believes it's a cause for gloating.</s> He really believes in [[Semen#Recycling|recycling]]. ''(The ususal Paper, Metal and Plastic products that appropriately go to Recycling Sites in and around Charlottesville, VA)'' <s>That is, he really really really believes in recycling. He recycles everything.</s> ''(Obvious Exaggerations from their P.O.V.)''
**His scent is <s>a combination</s> of [[Axe|AXE]] ''(and good clean practices of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|daily showers with soap, shampoo and water]], and sometimes the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|natural body oders]])'' <s>and A** (oversprayed, of course).
**He leaves the toilet seat up.</s> ''(I put the seat back down for consideration of the women.)''
**'''[[CWC Update 9 April 2009|HE CAN FEEL THE COSMOS!]]''' ''(I did say that for [[Ivy]], and I will stand by the quote.)''
**In the event that you are able to speak to Chris, you should be prepared to encouter ''(Pleasant, clean and intelligent conversations with no pressure for anything other than being friendly)'' <s>wave after wafe of weak, juvenile aspersions cast in the hopes of making you forget just how abysmal Chris's life really is, along with creepy, probing questions about your personal life in regards to relationships with women.</s> This is because '''Chris is still''' <s>vainly</s> '''searching for a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]], years after first causing a''' <s>s***storm</s> ''(minor mishap)'' '''by walking into a [[Fashion Square Mall|local mall]] while in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Community College]], and advertising his desire for women via [[Attraction Sign|hand-held signage]].'''

Lastly: ''(Thank God these S.O.B.s are almost finished with this list)''

**<s>Once he starts stalking a woman, he'll tenaciously track her down, even if she's really an IRL troll, a 4chan troll or just doesn't exist.</s>
**'''He''' <s>ALWAYS</s> '''[[honest content|mentions]] he's a [[virgin with rage|virgin]]''' <s>when he meets women. (I'm dead serious.)</s> ''(Nowadays for a LONG TIME, after being advised by [[Barbara Chandler|my mom]] and [[Bob Chandler|dad]], I keep that statement private.)''

==<s>IRL Stalker</s> ''(Or so they Wrongfully Claim)''==

'''''(For the record, I am not, and I never was, a stalker)'''''

'''On [[MySpace]], Chris posted his quest for a "[[boyfriend-free girl]]"''' <s>and his stalking tendencies.</s> '''Unfortunately for him, every woman on the planet appears to have a boyfriend. This has led to what Chris dubs "[[noviophobia]]" - in Chris's <s>b******ized</s> '''hogh school Spanish interpretation, inserts "novio" which essentially means "boyfriend", before latin root, "phobia", <s>committing a facepalm-worty portmanteau that is almost nonsensical enough to make you forget that of all things in the world, Chris has a paralyzing fear of boyfriends.</s> '''Chris claims to hate every male besides himself and his father,''' ''(And Santa Clause, [[Chris_and_religion#Concept_of_God_.28or:_GodJesus.29|Jesus, God]], the [[Barack Obama|President of the United States]], all the World Leaders, and ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.)'' '''because they "took all the pretty girls leaving him with no one to choose from."''' ''(The fear is Out-Of-Date, because I got over that months ago. I am cool with that theory, and the only [[JERKS|males]] I hate are those that are [[Trolls]] and those who truly hate me back.)''

'''He employed his famous "looking for a boyfriend-free girl" sign in two places:''' ''(actually Four Places; a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and a [[Target]] in addition to the following two)'' '''[[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the Fashion Square Shopping Center]] and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. The dean, [[Mary Lee Walsh|mary Lee Walsh]], reasonably assumed that Chris was publicly soliciting for sex,''' ''(Of which I was Not Soliciting for anything Other Than Honest Friendship that would become a True Honest [[sweetheart from the ground up|Sweetheart Relationship over reasonable time]])'' '''had the sign destroyed''' ''(She destroyed this one sign Herself)'' '''and banned from the school for a year. Since then, he became obsessed with her''' ''(But I have got over the obsession recently.)'' '''and depicts her within his comic as a''' <s>bald</s> '''witch with a viking helmet, a pitchfork, a scepter''' ''(Which contains her accomplice of evil)'' <s>to contain her evil anti-love powers,</s> ''(The character, [[Slaweel Ryam]], has her powers within her own person)'' '''and occasionally a broomstick.'''

'''Chris has also shown [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|his hatred towards Mary]] on [[Mary Lee Walsh#Coping mechanisms|several other occasions.]]''' ''(I had [[One Blessing, and One Curse|forgiven Miss Mary Lee Walsh]] for her past misdeeds, as y'all will remember, I had drawn the [[:Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|apology drawing]], made the commentary notes on being nice to her here on the Cwcipedia, even the references to her book among other notable achievements. Yet she has not accepted my apology, and even UNOFFICIALLY left an enveloped note in my front door, which was NEVER OPENED or ACCEPTED, of Trespassing on "her property" of Piedmont Virgina Community College. My family and I later learned of the contents of the envelope over phone call conversations. So, as far as it is concerned, [[Chris and the Law|NO Trespassing Notice was EVER accepted]]. '''I mean, that is some "Thank You" for coming over personally to Apologize and Make Peace with my Gesture of Goodwill being the FRAMED Hand-Drawn Apology.''' That woman's Real-Life Mean-Spirited Attitude has made her out to be a Mean B****. *sigh* But I still forgive her for all that anyway.)'' [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|'''He made a hilarious video''' <s>asking for</s> ''(having)'' '''fictional character Harvey''' <s>Dirdban's (not</s> '''Birdman's'''<s>)</s> '''assistance to fight "THAT EVIL''' <s>B****</s> '''MARY LEE WALSH''' <s>FOREVAR!!1</s>]] '''in a contest for Adult Swim. He also made a video of him [[Soul Calibur#Watch Chris fight Mary Lee Walsh|fighting Mary Lee Walsh as a custom character in Soul Calibur III]]. Despite his hate for Walsh, he still took the time with his Magic Markers to make hideous pron of her.''' ''(Yes, I did, within a set of Five adult-oriented sexual drawing I originally drew AS PROTEST AGAINST THE ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA PAGE. The act would later be portrayed similarly as Rosechu's Protest against "[[4-Cent Garbage]]".)''

'''Chris's Love Quest was also foiled by ''"''[[Jerkop|Security Guards]]''"'' of [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. He was handcuffed and kicked out by ''These'' Jerkops (half jerk, half cops) "for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl".'''

'''Christian''' <s>claims to have</s> '''started his''' <s>ill-begotten</s> '''love quest, because he wants a daughter whom he will dubly call [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (apparently after the illustrious metal). he made ''Renditions of'' her in the form of one of his [[My Little Pony]] figures''' <s>(from his own [[Hair|pugic hair]], mind you),</s> ''(I used Thread that one can find in stores everywhere by the fabrics and crafts)'' '''and made a separate file in the game, [[Animal Crossing]], and played as her.'''

'''The person we know the most about is [[Megan Schroeder]]''' <s>(note the Jewish name, a sign that gold is involved),</s> '''who had a''' <s>huge</s> '''influence on the comic and Chris himself.''' <s>She remarked that the antagonist of one of the Sailor Moon movies came off as a "kind of q****", possibly influencing Chris's homophobia.</s>

'''One example of the Chris-induced drama is the blog entry where a girl describes her encounter with Chris as he was wandering stores in search of his true love in late 2004, which can be viewed [[Thecrazypacer|here]]''' ''([[Anna McLerran]], after the writing of the blog entry, became a [[Gal-Pal|True Friend of mine]], and she cares about my feelings as such. Anna, thank you for continuing to be my friend.)''

<s>Chris changes love interests far more frequently than he changes his underwear; it is speculated that he has fallen in "true love" over 9,000 times. You could be next. Trolled IRL.</s>

'''Trolling of Chris-Chan has crossed the OnLine border into InRealLife. Whether internet vigilantes are trying to expose him for the psycho stalker''' <s>he really is</s> or if they fap to picking on retards, it's uncertain.'''

**'''[[The Game Place]], a store where he volunteered, was soon subject to his antics when [[Daniel Mimms|Anon took several photos of him]]. Nothing notable arose from this, other than mild lulz.'''

**'''An old classmate of Chris, [[Joshua Martinez]], did some epid trolling. We don't actually know very much about Joshua, just a few key facts. Chris knew him from his old school [[Chris's education|(Joshua and Chris both had Special Ed together)]],''' ''(Speech Therapy to be specific)'' '''recently met up with him again and was getting along fine. Apparently, Joshua was very popular with women and had met some famous celebrities. For some reason, Chris became''' <s>extremely</s> '''jealous and even tried to get ED to go after him. Noe that Chris''' <s>only</s> '''values Joshua's friendship''' <s>because he's popular with women, and that by being friends with him, he might end up laid.</s> '''Unfortunately for Chris, even other special education kids will f*** with him. the chick that Joshua was supposed to hook him up with was just Joshua trolling him with a picture of [[Vanessa Hudgens]].''' ''(And yes, I still do not care much for Joshua because of his D***, Dirty Lies and Deception. And as I had stated in a past Video on My YouTube, "He is a Dirty Liar; I Do Not Care if the Trolls Troll Him," and I still stand by that statement.)''

**'''A girl IRL,''' ''(That would be [[Hannah]], as portrayed in "Sonichu", No.2 and No.4, Sup-Episode 2, for what happened that one day.)'' <s>possibly</s> '''unrelated to ED or 4chan, tried to troll Chris-Chan for the lulz.'''

**'''Through trolling in this next case started online, it quickly moved into IRL. Chris had started a relationship with an e-girlfriend called [[Blanca Weiss]]. On September 11, 2008, another troll going by the same name was really a [[Man in the Pickle Suit |black man in a pickle costume]] and managed to score horrific nudes.''' ''(D*** that Dirty Son of a B****; I hope he lands in the fiery pits of hell after his death for his deception and extortion.)'' '''On October 7, 2008, Blanca managed to get the medallions and destroy them.''' ''([[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|I dumped her sorry ass after that misdeed; I had trusted her]].)''

==Chris Chan: Master of Race Relations ''(Or so the Trolls Claim in the Striked Statements. I am Not a Racist.)''==

<s>As a basement dweller from Bumf***, Virginia, it's a huge surprise that [[Chris and Race|CWC is VERY racist]].</s> '''On his blog, [[List of Chris's lies|Chris denies his racism]]''' <s>by stating he only dislikes Barack Obama for being an Arab terrorist, and: "It's the WHITE house; we don't endorse people painting it different colors around here."</s> ''(I used to agree with my father on Obama in a negative sense, BUT then I watched BOTH A&E Documentarys on McCain and Obama. I saw a bit of myself in Obama, and my views on him changed completely; he used to be a social outcast for a bit at a couple of times, and having to deal with such trials like I did, I respect Obama. I Voted for Obama on Election Day of 2008. )'' <s>Chris also believes that 99% of the Earth is ruled by dictators.</s> '''In several of his videos, he asked to meet [[Sweetheart|non-boyfriended, non-black girls.]]''' ''(But I am very cool in acquainting and [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|befriending women]] and men of all colors and countries; [[Chris and remorse|I did not mean to sound racist from what I was looking for in my Sweetheart.]])''

'''Upon discovering this article around the 10th of November, 2007, Chris suffered a sever case of''' <s>b***</s>'''hurt and decared war on every site mocking''' <s>his f****try. As with everything in his life, Chris failed.</s>

'''At first, Chris tried [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|tampering with this article]] while logged in as Reldnahc, which is obviously "Chandler" (his last name) spelled backwards. Before erasing the entire article, Chris actually contributed by adding information that he hadn't submitted anywhere else.''' ''(I had thought the Information Overload would somehow Take Down the page; I admit that I was mistaken.)'' '''Most of his additions were chunks of text from uncited sources which included how [[Megan]] "shattered his heart", and printouts of the [[Sonichu News Dash]], a''' <s>s***ty</s> '''newsletter about his comic which he also distributed at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] that landed him in another apparent conflict with [[Mary Lee Walsh]].'''

'''To make matters worse, he also uploaded [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34 of his own characters]].''' ''(Again, This was the SAME PROTEST that I had stated earlier on this page.)''

'''Later, when the context of the article finally dawned on Chris, he snapped. He created another account, Chris-chan,''' ''(versus Chris_chan)'' '''and tried blanking the page several times.

'''CWC blames Encyclopedia Dramatica for [[Megan Schroeder#The End of Megan|breaking up the relationship between him and Megan]] despite the fact that she was never his girlfriend.''' <s>Just another lying attempt to make ED feel guilty about something.</s>

[[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|'''In this video''' <s>BALEETED]]</s>, '''Chris congratulated all his''' <s>non-existent</s> '''Sonichu fans whom he''' <s>mistakenly</s> believed brought ED down and further urged them not to donate to ED while failing to realize that ED's downtime was due to an issue related to the website as a whole, and not related to any drama around his article.'''

'''Chris's plea for his fans to not donate to ED failed because the only people who pay any attention to Chris are precisely the ones who helped ED reach its donation goal August 14, 2008.'''

==Cwcville==

'''[[Cwcville]] (pronounced: quick-ville)''' <s>is Chris Chan's imaginary world. Considering how it's portrayed, it's full name could be the [[Chris and his Ego|Our Glorious Leader's True and Honset Lovers']] City of Cwcville, in a way similar to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.</s>

'''Cwcville is actually two things: a '''[[Chris and Reality|<s>fictional</s>]] '''setting for the Sonichu comic and Chris's long-ongoing pet project - many might call it a "happy place" and an imaginary refuge from the harsh reality. [[Autism|The two things overlap very much]]. <s>It's sort of like his own personal Silent Hill - except that instead of being a twisted Hell full of violent rage and nightmare beasts, it's a disturbingly cheerful place where Chris's bouncy creations laugh, frolic, and f*** for his amusement exactly like Silent Hill. Characters are introduced without warning and fall by the wayside just as quickly; nobody's quite sure what nbecomes of them, but knowing Chris, it probably involves anguished shrieks emanating from a love dungeon below the Mayor's house.</s>

'''In the Sonichu comic book world, the town is alledgly located in the [[Virginia is for Virgins|state of Virginia]], but being a figment of Chris Chan's [[Chris and copyright|imagination]], it will never be found on an actual map.''' ''(But the city and the [[CWCville Shopping Center|mall]] Can Be Built and Dedicated.)'' <s>Yet, in many ways, it seems the city is legislatively and economically cut off from the rest of Virginia and the United States.</s> '''In this city, Chris Chan is a''' <s>despotic</s> '''Mayor,''' <s>where he controls everything at his own will and dictates new laws, granting him the basis of his megalomaniac tendencies.</s>

'''Inside the comic, Cwcville is at a fierece rivaly with neighboring ''Evil School''''' <s>city</s> '''of "[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]", ''PVCCitizens''. Cwcville is under constant attack from the evil forces of ''[[Slaweel Ryam]]''''' <s>Dean Mary Lee Walsh</s> '''and her army of Jerkops.'''

==Cwcville Elections ''(What a load of bulls***)''==

''(NOBODY ELSE WAS EVER MADE MAYOR OF CWCVILLE, and the ONE time I stated otherwise, [[List of Chris's lies|I was LYING OUT MY A**]] WHEN [[Julie Reveals Herself#1.5 Medallion, Jizz, or Julie?|I WAS BEING BLACKMAILED at the time]].)''

'''Around the same time these lulzy and exploitable events occurred, another unfunny gag started when some bright, intelligent ''(Who Do They think they're Kidding?)'' member of YouTube decided to make a video declaring [[Billy Mays]] the new mayor of Cwcville. The only problem with the joke was that Billy Mays is now about as funny as Chuck Norris or a [[4-cent_garbage.com|Mudkip macro on 4chan]]. Thus, "Billy Mays for Mayor of Cwcville" became a meme with a s***load of videos trailing in its wake. If that weren't enough, the whole mock election expanded to other memes like Gordon the Pringles Giraffe and will soon spread to P***bear for President and Chris Hansen for Vice President.''' <s>(GET IT? [[Random-access humor|IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT IS CONFLICTING AND THEREFORE HUMOROUS]], SOMEBODY F***ING DO THIS).</s> ''(Like the f*** any of this make any sense at all; I HAVE NO CLUE AND I STILL DO NOT GET IT AT ALL.)'' '''Under the assumption that he'd be getting his PSN back,''' ''(here we go)'' '''Christian stated that Billy Mays was in fact, mayor of Cwcville.''' ''(I WAS LYING OUT MY F***ING A** WHEN I SAID THAT STATEMENT.)'' '''As always, Christian's reaction will only make things even worse, so be prepared for even more Billy Mays posters being plastered onto YouTube accounts.'''

'''June 28, 2009, just days after Michael Jackon died at age 50 of a heart attac, Billy Mays also died at age 50 of a heart attack. Despite being his 80s, [[Jimmy Hill]] is still alive so he has been hailed mayor of Cwcville''' ''(Like the f*** he would EVER)'' '''despite a rumoured attempted military coup by Chris.'''

'''After seeing a hilarious episode of [[Family Guy]],''' <s>where Chris Chan didn't get that he was being parodied for his moralf****try,</s> '''he decided to share his hatred of the g*** with [[Chris and religion|the Holy Bible]]. To do this, he quoted [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|18:22 of the book of Leviticus]],''' <s>which is the biblical equivalent of goatse,</s> '''which reinforces how two men should never engage in b***sex lest they be smited to the pits of hell to be r**ed by the Devil and his minions for eternity''' <s>(and also that men cannot shave, wear underwear with elastic straps, or crossbreed animals).</s>

==Chris-Chan the Moralf**==

'''Unbeknownst to Chris, prolific hater of all things not Christian, 89 percent of the users trolling Chris Chan are Muslims. In another blow to Chris's moral credibility, he also decided to pick up a book on how to to talk to women... [[How to Talk to Girls|written by a 9-year-old boy]]. As the kid wrote it on how to talk to [[Pedofork|girls of his age]], [[Jerkops|party vans]] descending on [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] are imminent.''' ''(Hey, I do not think the lad would take the trolls' commentary on his book lightly, and I don't care for it either. [[Dating education|GENERAL CONVERSATION and Conversation Starters, as he was encouraging in his book]], Are Neutral for People of ALL AGES.)''

==Sex Life==

'''His Sex Life (If you can call it that) includes, among other arousing phenomena, f***ing a [[Kimmi|female anime blow-up doll]] and screaming "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY!" at the top of his lungs.]]''' ''(ONE TIME I screamed that for the ex-gal-pal of mine who I LATER learned was [[BlueSpike|a 13-year-old boy trolling me]]. That little S.O.B. later died at the hands of the "[[Transformers|Starscream]]" Troll, [[Clyde Cash]].)''

'''Chris wrote to [[Nintendo Power Magazine|Nintendo Power]] in April of [[2005]] to discuss the DS game [[Sprung]]: A''' <s>horrible</s> '''[[Noviophobia|dating simulator]], and was overjoyed to discover that they published his email. According to him, it was ''like'' a "free personal", and he expects that it being published will somehow increase his chance of finding a woman.'''

===Chris Chan on sticking things up b***hole.===

'''In both his videos and comics, he has shown contempt towards gays, constantly rambling on about how homosexuality is bad, and repeatedly stating that He Is Not Gay. ''I AM STRAIGHT.''''' <s>Despite these statements, Chris's sexuality remains questionable, [[Sex toys|as he owns a dildo and anal beads]] and rambles on sticking things in his a** while he masturbates.</s> ''(Those two items were [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Free Gifts from Adam&Eve.com]] from purchasing woman-on-man videos and [[Officer Nasty|female blow-up dolls]]. I meant for WOMEN to [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|put those things up their Vaginas]]; NEVER for men to put in their a**. UGH!!! I have never ever put anything up my a** [[Mass debating|while I masturbated]].)'' '''In his list of people he would not date, he lists autistics, high-functioning or otherwise.''' <s>Thus, Chris is also a self-loathing flaming f*****, trying desperately to stay in the closet. And we all know homophobes are closeted gays themselves.</s>

'''Chris appears to be''' <s>stuck</s> '''in a''' <s>[[CWC-isms|strange, child-like</s> '''mentality]] where he fills guilty when discussing sex. Because of thies, he is forced to use different words, like ''"[[Duck|duck]]"''''' <s>"[[Pickle|pickle]]"</s> '''for dick, "[[Chris and sex|hankey-panky]]" for sex, "[[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]" for ''women who are'' single, among other things. He started buying [[sex toys]] and porno videos back in 2003, and when discussing sex with other people (specifically [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] and a recent troll), he goes into intimate, almost scientific or educational detail. When Megan claimed to be uncomfortable with Chris discussing sex,''' ''(I stopped talking about it with her)'' <s>Chris goes into full detail on how a handjob works and that he has learned everything he knows from pornography.</s>

'''In recent audio recordings,''' <s>we have discovered a lot about Chris's sexuality.</s> '''Namely, he thinks that''' <s>gender stereotypes,</s> dirty talk, and cheesy lines like, "This might hurt a bit at first" are part of actual sex. One of the [[Chris Sex Logs|audio recordings]] has him describing his ideal "[[Chris_Sex_Logs#My_first_time|first time]]", which in intricate, overly dramatic''' <s>and mildly retarded.</s>

''(To correct most of this, '''A)''' I hate the gays' lifestyle; NOT THE PEOPLE. I am okay with being acquainted or friends with them, but no more than that. '''B)''' Yes, I do not care to date autistic or seriously mentally-challenged women, but because I feel if I went out with such a woman, I may be seeing a mirror reflecting on [[Chris and hypocrisy#Examples|what I may have become if I was Low-Functioning]]. '''C)''' I have learned from MORE than just pornography; I have passed Sexual Education in [[Manchester High School|High School]], I have watched a lot of Romantic movies and shows, my friends have shared with me their input on relationships, I took Relationship Management courses, and currently the listed mentality is not only outdated, but I know those things are Optional. And letting the other know it may hurt ON THE FIRST TIME shows that I, the man, care and respect her, the woman, in a way.

I have learned a LOT more about sex and relationships than ANY God-D***ed Troll will EVER know, because while they ONLY think they know or even understand, they Really Do Not Understand At All; THEY ARE DUMBA**ES!)''

==Other==

'''Chris Chan is also a fan of''' <s>the loli, as evident by his Rule 34 of Dot Warner, Misty from Pokemon and</s> '''[[Family Guy#Chris and Meg|Meg Griffin]].'''

'''''I go for Adult Women; I am not a [[Pedofork|pedofile]].'''''

--[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:18, 18 December 2009 (CET)

{{CWCipedia|chris=Chris chan}}

[[Category:CWCipedia]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Thorg

2026-06-23T19:51:38Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Background */

{{Troll}}
{{Quote|He is a pizza-faced atheist.|Chris on Thorg<ref>[[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]</ref>}}

{{infobox Person
| title = Thorg
| image = TH.PNG
| name = Jeremy Slonwhite
| aliases = Thorg The Master Troll Thoria [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] Master Thorg Master Jeremy
| gender = Male
| year = 1978 or 1979
| nationality = Canadian
| race = White
| saga = {{saga|callingout|cn}}
}}

'''Thorg''' ("real" name: '''Jeremy Slonwhite''') is a [[troll]] that gained notoriety in late [[2011]]. Contacting Chris through [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] under a different pseudonym, he began feeding Chris false personal information about his trolls, leading Chris to blackmail them online. He notably got Chris to call out himself, Thorg, as Chris was unaware he was currently talking to Thorg.

==Background==
{{see also|Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia}}

Thorg was a minor troll starting in [[2009]], being a member of [[PVCC]] and getting an email response from Chris after making mocking videos on [[YouTube]].

{{quotebox|I GIVE YOU NO SILENCE!

REMOVE ALL THOSE VIDEOS, RIGHT NOW! Or you will be stuck with the curse that is on YOUR head, you Trolling Stupid!<ref>[[:File:No_Silence.jpg]]</ref>}}

After revelations about Chris's new [[Tomgirl]] identity, Thorg and a group of other trolls created the forum '[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]' in late [[April 2011]]. Chris was tricked into believing it was a real forum, and frequently posted on the forum about himself. Thorg frequented the forum under the username 'Thoria'.

On 20 [[July 2011]], Thorg made a [[CWCki]] page about the forum, revealing it to the larger community, who were unaware of its existence. Chris freaked out about this, feeling that the trolls were ruining a safe place of his. He revealed himself as Christian Weston Chandler, and asked for their help to defeat the trolls for good. Thoria told Chris that she had a cousin interested in computer science, and that he could help with doxing these trolls as well as launching DDoS attacks against the CWCki.

Chris came in contact with this supposed cousin, actually Thorg in disguise, and he started emailing Chris about the supposed true identities of the trolls, in reality other lolcows that were popular at the time. Chris bought into this, and made his grand return to YouTube, marking the beginning of the brief [[Calling Out]] saga.

==Chris vs Thorg==
[[File:GaybarJpg.jpg|300px|thumb|The gay bar image]]
In a confusing turn of events, Thoria's cousin got Chris to call out Thorg, stating that he was responsible for exposing [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] (which is accurate) and [[20 December 2009|placing a photoshopped image of Chris at the gay bar on a New York City billboard]] (actually done by [[Clyde Cash]]). Thoria's cousin told Chris that Thorg's real name was 'Jeremy Slonwhite' and a meme image called 'Butthurt Dweller' was how he looked in real life. Chris fell for this, and made multiple videos about Thorg, making him his main enemy during the [[Calling Out]] [[Saga]]

===Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy===
{{main|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy}}
Following Chris's eight-month absence from the [[Internet]], he reappeared with three videos addressed to Thorg and [[Surfshack Tito]]. In the second, "Calling Out 'Thorg' - Jeremy", Chris claimed to have information on Thorg; that his real forename was Jeremy, that he lived in Canada, that he could be found in a [[video game]] store, and that he was an [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. He then proceeded to make several demands, including the removal of all references to Tomboys and Tomgirls from the CWCki, a public apology video, and a billboard display in New York claiming that Chris was [[Homos|straight]].

In "[[Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]", Chris set the deadline for these demands at 31 August.

===Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy===
{{main|Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy}}
While [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] eventually caved in to Chris's demands a few days later, Thorg remained unconvinced that Chris meant business and neglected to respond. On 10 August Chris released [[Calling Out#Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|a video]], in which he reiterated his demands for Thorg and revealed more information on him. More images of him were released, and Chris disclosed that he was a fan of [[Chris and coping#Roleplaying|LARPing]].

Chris was also incredibly hostile towards Thorg's atheism, going on a tangent about how, through the power of empathy, Chris [[Chris and Reality|could feel]] what it was like to be Jesus because Jesus was crucified and Chris was trolled. He also mentioned that as a good natured Christian he wouldn't do it, but he would love to chase Thorg out of town with an angry mob wielding pitchforks and torches.

Most of Chris's hostility towards atheism appears to come from ''[[Family Guy]]'' and simple creationist arguments, likely picked up from the Internet, his father or his congregation.

===Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada===
[[File:Thorgmessage.jpg|300px|thumb|One of the images of Thorg]]
{{main|Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada}}
On 12 August, a full 19 days ahead of the deadline, Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|exposed]] the dox he had collected on Thorg. This included his age (32), city of residence ([[Wikipedia:Vancouver|Vancouver]]), place of employment ([[Gamestop]]), and nerdy interests. Chris also revealed several full pictures of Thorg.

===Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"===
{{main|Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"}}
Eight days later, Chris released a song about wristwatches dedicated to Thorg. Although exposing Thorg had no effect, Chris's music video terrified Thorg and caused him to leave the internet.

===Victory Rockout===
{{main|Victory Rockout}}
Following Thorg's retirement from trolling, Chris would record a strange video where he jumps up and down while playing with his [[Gitar of Fail|''Guitar Hero'' controller]] and shouts about his 'victory over all damn cyberbullies'. Along with this, he references memes such as [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and [[For Julies Eyes Only|JULAYYYY]]

==Aftermath==
{{main|Thorg Q&A}}

After [[Bob]]'s death, the [[Calling Out]] [[Saga]] came to an absurd and unexpected end. This cut short many of Thorg's plans, including calling out videos for [[Clyde Cash]]. Chris continued to email Thorg, although infrequently, taking around 3-7 days to respond to each of his emails. Chris's emails with Thorg have yet to be released, however Thorg has described Chris crying to him about Bob's death and raging over [[Michael Snyder]]. It can be assumed Chris eventually stopped responding to him or Thorg stopped sending him E-mails, ending their communications.

{{References}}
{{CallingOutSaga}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Miscreants Members]]
[[Category:CWCki Editors]]
[[Category:People from Canada]]

Megan emails, 2008

2026-06-22T06:08:03Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Chris continues bothering her about ED */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails exchanged by [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] and Chris in [[2008]]. The only things that have been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.

Chris's friendship with Megan had already shown signs of cracks even before the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|ShecameforCWC]] fiasco, but it wouldn't be until after it that their friendship finally shattered into bits. Between Chris's shoddy attempts at "apologizing" for drawing him fingering his only friend – a friend who not only repeatedly told him to stop touching her, but also was asexual and didn't ''want'' to engage in a romantic/sexual relationship – and him admitting that he "might have become an abusive maniac" if he didn't draw it, Megan finally had enough of his creepy behavior and utter refusal to listen to her. After telling him she couldn't trust him anymore, she finally broke all contact with him. This marks the last time Chris had any sort of conversation with Megan.

==E-mails==
===Chris wants Megan to live with him===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Wed, 2 Jan 2008 7:06:12 AM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: A thought for you, Megan

Considering [[Chandler Family Tree|my family]], and [[14 Branchland Court|"I'm livin' under their roof"]], you may want to consider typing up all that you told me last night to back you up in the face of my family. And you may want to set some additional funds aside for rent. Also, offering to help with the chores is good.

I am unanimous with myself in welcoming you to our house as our guest for as long as you need, and I truly meant every word I said. It's my mother's and father's opinion you may have for another obsticle.

I hope my family will be willing to help you, a descendant German Warrior Traveler. :)

Take care; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan doesn't want to be on Chris's websites===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 7:49 am 
Subject: Thanks again

Hey thanks again SO VERY much for your thoughtful and kind and generous trade. Though I feel as though I took all your money since it mostly goes to your parents. :( But Thank You very much. I doubt I will be asking for much in the future, so just as an appreciation bonus I will go ahead and give you the [[wikipedia:Hamtaro|Hamtaro]] toys along with the rest of the manga and stuff. I'm sorry to hear about [[Grace Baptist Church|the Church thing]], I mean God forgives and gives second chances. Some people just aren't meant to work under His name, like [[Wikipedia:Catholic sex abuse cases#United States|all the priests who abuse young boys]]. Yeah that [[internet]] thing is getting very much out of hand and would like to ask if you could please take down or remove anything that has to do with me from any of your websites. I don't want to appear on those sites as well. Thanks again! ~Megan}}

===Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Wed, 12 Mar 2008 6:23:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: I am sooooo sorry

I didn't realize how much of an... a-hole I could have been; I was [[Chris and anger|caught up in the rage]] from that weekend in November when I did that; I couldn't even see straight. But I have done what I should have done long ago; inform [[wikipedia:AOL|AOL]], as well as other places on the web who can take down offensive websites and pages.

I've really shot myself in the foot, and I am sorry. Not only am I mad at myself for being such a complete enraged a-hole, but my rage against those jerks who put that page up in the first place arose with greater flame, because my closest friend got hurt emotionally (that's you).

I will see to that website's demise, or my name isn't [[Transgender#Lesbian_transwoman|Christian Weston Chandler]].

[[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you. Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you]].

[[List of Chris's lies|Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you]].

And I am prepared to repeat that hundred times from the bottom of my hurting heart.}}

===Chris emails her some detective work, Megan likely doesn't give a shit===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 1:23:00 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Follow up

I have been investigating, in addition to out-of-spite "adding fire to the flame", since I've first found it randomly in that fateful day, November 2, 2007. Please allow me to fill you in. My first major clues of a matching duo were the original date of the document creation, Wednesday, Ocotber 31, 2007, and this .jpg, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan, which was obviously taken on the previous Friday, October 26, 2007. For the week, my family and I were pondering the major suspect; the dude who took that pic, which I distinctly remember seeing the camera flash while I playing a young gentleman in Pokemon TCG. Thus, my family came in and we found that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had the camera in question, but he did not take the picture. Then we've suspected [[Lucas]], but we did not question him at the time. But a more obvious expression reply was found by myself, when Saturday March 8, 2008, at the Gamestop in Forest Lakes, the Midnight release event of [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Super Smash Bros. Brawl]], Mimms and I were watching a pair of tournament players brawling; one was playing [[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong|Donkey Kong]]. So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about "be-4" about this "Chan". I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing. And today, I looked up [[Wikipedia:4chan|4Chan]] on Wikipedia.com, http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg, apparently 4Chan is solely a web thing that people can go on and mess around for the attention, with examples of false bombings, hackers on [[MySpace]], and more similar events listed on there. Upon the collected information on this case I've let set on the back-burner for a while, I can only suspect Lucas for being the culpret in putting that page up in the first place, because, seeing how close [[Mimms]] and Lucas were, he had as much access to the beforementioned pic from October 26 as Mimms did. Also, I photographically remember the person who took my pic that day being tall and wearing a long coat. I'd like to put Lucas under a spotlight and question him about this whole thing, then put him behind bars for descreation of someone else's character. I'd question him myself, but [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] of [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game Place]] said after my mother and father questioned Mimms that Friday night, if I were to bring up ANYTHING about that page again, he would kick me out of the Game Place for like a month. If you'd like to talk to Lucas discreetly about the subject, I'd appreciate it for the benefit of my investiga tion.

Megan, I am sorry about this whole mess, and having drawn that drawing, and raging the fire and hurting your feelings and emotions. If I can, not only will I get that drawing off that webpage, but I'll try to take down the whole thing. But I can't do it alone (my mother and father have been letting it set on the back-burner without giving it much thought).

I can only hope you'll forgive me, but no matter what, I still love you as my closest gal-pal.

I hope you feel better soon; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan is scarred by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Thu, 13 Mar 2008 7:33 am 
Subject: well...

I just don't know what to say now....

I am very much scarred by that image and it will never leave me. And I can't decide what's worse, the image in general, or the fact you intentionally drew it AND gave it to the webmaster for that site that you hate so much. Not only have you poured gas on the fire by doing that,(adding obscenity to the already horrific site) but you have also embarrassed and humuliated me, and degraded and demeaned me whether you realize it or not. I mean I'm not that kind of girl, and you know that. So why? And you also lied to me about it.

Between that and my recent [[Heart level|heartbreak]] how am I to trust another man again? Simply put: I can no longer trust anyone now.

You have very much hurt me on an emotional level. And when I get hurt emotionally it'll take a physical toll. As in no appetite, feeling tired and sick, no sleep.

So I am unsure what to do about this. I can't say I really think of you the same anymore, I'm sorry to say. I will continue to give the remaining items for the zune and that will be all the contact you have with me unless I decide otherwise. I hope you understand. So we'll let time decide how I feel about this current situation. Until then please don't come up to me anymore unless it's to give you what I owe which seems kind of awkward now.

I know how it feels to be alone but, I can't keep throwing away my pride little by little just to keep you satisfied, you know what I mean? There has to be an "enough is enough" at some point. And I cannot continue to disgrace myself by forgiving things that I never find forgivable in the first place.

That's all I can think to say right now 
I'm sorry, we'll just see 
~Megan}}

===Megan wants Chris to leave her alone===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Fri, 14 Mar 2008 4:06 am 
Subject: ok..

Ok well look, I am unsure how I feel and what to do. So here's what I think. I'd like for you to just completely leave me alone for a while, until I can sort things out myself, you understand? It's not like I hate you, but I don't see you in the same light anymore. So just leave me be for a while, let me try to recuperate with my few other friends. And maybe we can just start from scratch sometime. Maybe, I dunno, just depends on how I feel ok? So please let me be, and let me see how it goes ok?}}

===Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 14 Mar 2008 4:10:38 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: ok..

I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to [[Chris and sex|sexual images]] as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of outtercourse (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry. If it helps put things into perspective, I can reccomend finding information on the internet through this educational website I've found through [[Sex toys|AdamEve.com]]. Or I reccomend renting [[wikipedia:The 40-Year-Old Virgin|"The 40 Year Old Virgin"]]; that movie touches on some of the issues around sex, and how it can really frustrate an older virgin who hasn't had the pleasure yet (or I can loan you my copy of "The 40 Year Old Virgin"). The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.

I worry about you, and I want to help you as much as I humanly can. While I AM on the verge of taking that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|EncyclopediaDramatica]] page taken down, I understand that there are a number of other web pages of hate against me, and as much as I would like to be able to track every one down and report them and get on the verge of taking them down as well, someone else may put another hate page up against me. It's a fact of this modern world known as [[Trolls|"Cyber Bullying"]].

And as for the drawings, while I have shoved the text information down their throat in an attempt to drown them in submission; there were too many images of...[[Duck|penises]]...yech, on there. I drew drawings promoting vaginas to go against those dickheads. I did the drawing of [[Sonichu]] fucking [[Rosechu]], I did the drawing of [[Bubbles]] getting it from [[Black Sonichu]] (I had the idea of paring them up in the comic book anyway), I did the drawings of [[Angelica]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] (that witch hag) mastubating. And I did draw the drawing of me giving you a hand job, from among my adult fantasies, with your eyes censored to conceal your identity. It was a massive step outside of my boundries, and I did it out of anger, and I regret having done it, and I am really, really, sorry. But we all do things in the heat of anger, and/or out of our boundries, that we end up regretting later.

Megan, Sweetheart, I will give you as much space as you need during your time of recovery and learning how to cope with it and put it into your own perspective. But please remember, I will always worry about you, and even though you may not feel the same about me as you did before, I still Care and [[Love quest|Love You Very Much]]. <3<3<3<3<3

Take care; my thoughts and prayers are with you; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris bothers Megan about Encyclopedia Dramatica again===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Sun, 16 Mar 2008 12:28:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Megan.

I hope you're doing well. Anyway, I'll get to the point; there is a way you can work with me on the elimination of the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], basically the pages on whole ED website are wiki (similar to html editing), and setting up an account to edit the page is free; you may want to use a fake e-mail address. Anyway, you can remove the all the junk they put about you on there, as well as the drawing from the page for starters, but be careful not to take out TOO MUCH; they may undo your doing, so you may want to make multiple edits; remove the story on the first time, then add some random thing that comes to your mind onto the bottom of the page. [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|I've managed to have the drawing removed and replaced with a different, yet similar image for a while, but they undid that bit of my handiwork]].

I can only do so much at one time, since after I make an edit (behind their backs), they "ban" my IP address from undoing their undoing, and I have to wait a few hours to a day or two before I can anything more against them.

That's the story there.

Also, under a spot of rage against them for the answer some of them gave me when I asked them why they hated me, I've alerted the media about it through e-mail. I've said nothing about you to them, but you may want to try to remove the stuff about you from the page ASAP.

Again, I am really sorry about this whole mess.

I pray for your emotional recovery. Keeping you fondfully in my thoughts; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan is fed up===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 16 Mar 2008 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan.

Look, my main issue is NOT the website itself. It's just the fact that you drew those weird pictures. Um....ok...so instead of removing that one completely, you just [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#15_March|enlarge]] my crotch....thanks a lot....WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST REMOVE IT??!!

Well I'm sorry but that just makes me more angry in a way. It's not that actual sex-act that traumatises me, it's the fact that you fantasize doing such things to me when you know I would never. It's like, how do I know you're not going to abduct me and such? That was a figure of speech. You know what I mean? It creeps me out you have such thoughts about me. It's like you're stalking me so you really need to back off.

I mean thinking like that is one thing (though disturbing as well) But sitting down and actually drawing a detailed image of it is even worse. I don't like being around people like that at all!

I don't like being around people who think only of sex and pleasure. I don't care how lonely you are, I haven't had luck with relationships either, but I don't boast about being a "[[virgin with rage]]" When you say things like that, it just makes it sound you're looking for someone to fuck.

I'm sorry to say this but you're partially to blame for some of the content on the site. Because things about me and things they quoted about me came from you obviously. You have those blog things and so you [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#12_November|blabbed]] to the whole cyber world about the angry [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|email]] I sent you last summer. Ok, just WHOSE business is it anyway? I don't understand why you post things involving me like that. And you also made it sound that I just wrote you an angry email and you had nothing to do with it, when in fact the reason being was because I was sick of telling constantly to stop touching me. That is SEXUAL HARRASSMENT. I wrote the email in response to what YOU did wrong to me.

Although it may not seem like a big deal to you, it was to me. Just because I've allowed other guys to hug me, doesn't mean you automatically have that right. I have the [[Women's rights|right]] to decide who can get close to me. If a female doesn't like the way a guy advances or touches her, even if other females are ok with it- if that one female doesn't like it, it IS sexual harrassment. You greatly need to understand that.

That's all I have to say to you 
I'm too angry and upset to want to help with the website's demise. So sorry but you're on your own with that one.

PS I think it's rather amusing how you complain of these people defiling you. Yes many posts are ridiculous BUT you have defiled Mary Lee Walsh, and our wonderful security officers who were simply doing their job. Then you defiled me. And lied about it.

You need to stop with this mindset that the whole world's against you, and start taking some responsibility for once. Example, it's wrong to hate [[Jerkop|these people]] when YOU broke the rule by soliciting/loitering. Hey at least they're doing their job and I support that.}}

===Chris continues bothering her about ED===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 8:46:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Megan...

Firstly, I suggest that you take another look at the page; in the FIRST Paragraph, they theorize and mock me with, and I copy and past to quote, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|"and drawing pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister."]] And the images were ALIGNED to the RIGHT, so the theory is matched UP to DOWN with respective image comments from, "... Imaginary sister?" to "I don't like where this is going" and finally, "Chris' own artwork portraying his sick fantasies." And to break my camel's back, they state in the second paragraph under "The Comic Itself", I quote, "A later upload by CWC himself verified that he wants to have sex with his imaginary twin sister. So, this Crystal would be both his daughter and sister... In other words, he wants to [[Affair with Mother|impregnate his mother]], then have sex with the offspring."

Secondly, I have TRIED to delete the nude drawing, even to replace it, but in the discussion page of my account I created to edit the page away from mockery, but every time I delete or replace the image, they would re-upload the original pic. They call what I'm doing AGAINST the "article" vandalism, and they tell me, "vandalism is completely pointless (click here to find out why), and will get you a swift ban, so you might as well stop." And even though after they "ban" me, I wait a few hours to a couple of days and I am unbanned. You can consider me "The Resistance" against the "Alien Dominators" of E.D., because that's the role I am occupying in this tragedy.

Also, I've told them they're not only hurting me emotionally, but they were hurting you, Megan, emotionally and deeply as well, because they were dragging your name through the mud with mine.

As for the drawing itself, I've realized that it was done not only out of inspired fantasy, angst against E.D., and love for you, but also a [[Mass debating|major release for my crazy, mixed-up hormones]]. If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac, so thank god for allowing me to release my bottled up frustrations in a more positive, yet not so "Politically Correct", and not physically hurting others, method.

Be the release as it may, I am hurting [[Chris and his Ego|SOOOOO MUCH MORE]] than you can be, because I have been taking the abuse from those [[jerks]] on E.D. If you want to get it all off the "article", be my guest; make your account, send your message of the "Resistance" and delete the Major Chunk off the page in edit; they will only undo your missile barrage of damage in one felt swoop.

I am depressed and emotionally exausted from [[Stress|ALL THIS STRESS]]. The only thing I can do that won't get undone is be as apologetic as I can ever be from the bottom of my sad, depressed heart.

I'm Sorry, Megan, for the massive warfare I have wrought against you and me in a damn fucktarded release of my damn hormones.

I'm sorry. Christian Weston Chandler.}}

===Chris does not regret the Meganporn and claims drawing it helped prevent him from doing "something really dumb and stupid"===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 21 Mar 2008 9:03:16 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Megan

You know about as much as I know that I have taken responsibility for my error, and it has also been bringing me the darkest pain this month.

I want to patch up our friendship, because I do not want any further discomfort between you and me. Although the acursed page is there now, if we just ignore it, it may fade away in a month or so. Also, if we let every little [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty detail]] bother us, we're just as bad off as any pop or rock star. They get abused a lot by the paparazi and the media for the details of their deeds that they could not have known about themselves at the time. From the maximum amount of stress from all that; they sometimes get totally out of whack and possibly hurt themselves. But you and I are only civilians without so much fame and fortune; you and I, we do not have to suffer such Star Stress; if we only put it behind us, we don't have to build such a stressful level within ourselves.

I myself had left it a good distance behind me for a few months, but then you were bothered by it. And I couldn't help but dig up the remains left behind, only to build up a very stressfully torturing month for me.

Megan, I am sorry for uploading the drawing, and I really wish I could go [[Sonichu 7|back in time]] and stop myself from making the mistake. Yet I do not regret drawing the drawing, because if I hadn't released my frustrations in the creative sense, I might actually have done [[Rape|something]] really dumb and stupid. It was really stupid of me to let my impulsive anger get the best of me and make me upload it in an attempt to shove so much information down their throats and drown them into taking the page down.

[[List of Chris's lies|But I've learned from my mistakes]], and I regret letting my frustrations and [[Chris and anger|anger]] get the best of me. All I can do is put the whole thing behind me, try not to think about again, never look at the damn page, and move on with my life.

For the sake of our friendship, Megan, PLEASE just forget about the dang webpage, put it behind you, and let's resume our good friendship like the whole mess never happened.

I still love you, Megan, and I honestly care and worry about you from my heart.

Peace; Chris Chan.}}

===Chris still wants Megan===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Sat, 22 Mar 2008 3:28:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

I've DELETED ALL of the [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|ORIGINAL BLOGS]] months ago, just to let you know. I can understand how you're feeling against me now, but it really hurts me and makes me sad that you don't want me close to you.

I'm just a lonly old-feeling fool who needs closure once in a while, and [[Barbara|my mother]] and [[Bob|father]] won't be around forever. I can remember the times we were close, we shared our honest feelings openly, my PSOne games on my [[PSP of Fail|PSP]], and your Strawberry Pink character drawings...I really miss those tender moments. And I got you all that stuff from eBay; the [[Sailor Moon]] cards, the DVDs, the figurines, the rest of that stuff, and recently the [[Wikipedia:Zune|ZUNE]], and you have repaid the pleasure of doing all that for you with greater interest. I love to see you smile, I love to see you happy, and I love seeing the sweet, honest, tender and carefree kinda gal who is [[Megan Schroeder]].

But now that I am barred from you for a big mistake I made that I have taken a great deal of responsibility, through trying to undo it, through taking down the previous pages leading up to it, through a month full of [[stress]], tears, lonliness and too many moments standing by myself...

Remember some time ago, you jested that you wanted me to give up my heart to you? Well, basically, I had already done that just after you and I met; my heart still cries for you; not a moment passes by when I don't have a tender, caring or worried thought about you.

Although I do understand your feelings, and I can only respect your wish of staying away from you...<nowiki>*sob**sob*</nowiki>...my heart still cries for you, I'll always be worrying about you, and I will always Love You, Megan Schroeder. <nowiki>*sob*</nowiki>

I'll see you Sunday..., and I guess that's ALL I'll get to do with you...[[The Creepy Stare|seeing you]]...from a long distance; as long as the most perilous journey, as long as a dream where I'm constantly running towards you; you'd look like you're near, yet you are soo far away from completing me... [[Love quest|I Love You]], Megan Schroeder.

Peace; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan asks Chris to leave her alone again, attempts to talk sense into him===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 23 Mar 2008 1:05 am 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

As I've said, the website means nothing to me. It's the fact that you blab about me on your blogs and therefore it gets put on the website. So in other words, ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.

I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.

So I think I'd like to stay away from you at least for a while then as time passes I'll better know what to do.

Until then just please leave me alone}}

===Megan still wants to be alone===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Sun, 23 Mar 2008 8:12 am 
Subject: Re: Hey, Megan

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Like I said, I just want some time on my own for a while. It's not like I am hating you or anything. I just want to be by myself for a while

And I haven't nor will I EVER forget all the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|wonderful surprises you have given me]] and such. Thank you.

This is only a "bye for now" just allow me to be alone and eventually things will cheer up ok?

Thanks and try to keep your chin up. And I'll try to do the same. (I'm never real positive...) 
~Megan 
PS I won't be coming this sunday- Easter}}

===Chris talks about his feelings, then some shit no one cares about===
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com 
Sent: Fri, 18 Apr 2008 9:36:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey...

I understand why you didn't want me to talk to you... <nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki> I'd feel better if we can try not to think about that detail and put it behind us.

Megan, I really want to remain your friend, but I feel it growing more difficult with the emotional feeling of long distance between you and me. I feel sad, lonely and rejected when you don't allow me to be socially close to you or even when you won't talk to me. (Besides which, I [[Mass_Debating|get lonely]] everynight in the sanctity of [[Chris's Room|my room]], and even when I'm out with my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], [[Bob Chandler|father]], or alone, so I feel the extra loneliness and sadness like rubbing salt and vinager on a wound.) Also, I can't help but feel the worry about how you are feeling everyday that I feel. Please, Megan, put what has passed behind you and open yourself emotionally to me and let you and me be good friends like before.

Also, aside from my feelings, I wanted to let you know that I got an 8GB Memory Stick Duo; all my Full Downloaded Games and all my Save Data (for the [[Wikipedia:Universal Media Disc|UMD]] games as well) and all that from between the two 4GB sticks are now on the same [[Wikipedia:Memory Stick|Memory Stick]]. What's more, I am able to give you one of my two for when you get your PSP, and copy your choice of PSOne classics and the game Beats, as well as a cornucopia of [[Sailor Moon]] MP3 tracks to play on Beats. When ready, you may check out http://store.playstation.com to look up the variety of PSOne and PSN-Exclusive PSP titles that can be downloaded to the 4GB Memory Stick.

I think you still owe me a bit for the Zune; $20, Hamtaro toys and a DVD set. If you are able to get all that to me next Friday, I would appreciate it, so you and I can be squared-away on that deal.

BTW, I won't be coming in Sundays for UFS; I've been going to the [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] (after being [[List of places that have banned Chris|kicked out]] of the [[Grace Baptist Church]], and upon my father's suggestion) for over a month now. And with that, I've also been attending the Sunday Night service for the young adult church members who are attending [[UVA]]. Also, I've started hanging out in the Recreation Room in the upper floor of the next-door Student Centere Tuesday and Thursday Afternoons playing [[Guitar Hero]] on their [[PS2]], or my [[PS3]] which I bring there in a Toys 'R' Us Cloth Bag. I've met a few new female acquaintances, but nothing has come up [[Friend zone|further than that]] yet.

One more thing, something good for you to look forward to, in addition to the German Dictionary I'm saving for your Birthday, I'm putting a special present together just for you to go with it. It's not glittery or pricy, but it is a Special Surprise Present. :) And I'm not letting you in on what it is until the Friday closest to your Birthday.

Anyhoo, please allow me back into your world as your Good Friend, and I promise never to [[The Wallflower|repeat]] the mistakes I've made.

I also wish [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] the best of luck and the Lord's blessing on him finding a new, better job.

Peace be with you; Chris Chan.}}

===Megan can't trust Chris anymore===
{{quoteboxred|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: Megan Schroeder <yoshimitsuharakiri@yahoo.com> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
Sent: Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:40 am 
Subject: Re: Hey...

Well first of all, I can't put this behind me because I don't feel comfortable around you anymore. Especially since you said you drew that so you wouldn't do anything stupid. What does that mean? [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|Abducting me and raping me?]] I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore...

I'm sorry but I don't like being around men like that.

As for the zune, you said for me to hold on to the hamtaro and dvd's and I only recall having to pay you the 30$ for your credit card.

So I don't know what to say right now, but maybe you shouldn't give me anything for my birthday. I hate my birthdays and prefer not to be reminded of them}}

==Gallery==
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{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]

Heather Iglesias

2026-06-22T06:04:59Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

[[Image:ComicHeather_Iglesias.jpg|thumb|200px|Heather making her much anticipated appearance and absolutely no sense.]]
[[Image:Heather_Iglesias.png|thumb|200px|[[CWCville]], where the nannies cower in fear of accidentally showing their [[Homos|sexuality]].]]
'''Heather Iglesias''' is the nanny of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]'s hideous secret [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|children]]. While the busy parents are away murdering people at the behest of their creator, Heather makes sure the young [[Sonee]] and [[Rosey]]s receive at least a modicum of parental upbringing. Heather gets paid from the [[Monthly tugboat|monthly checks]] the Sonichu family receives.<ref>[[Mailbag 21]]</ref>

Heather is a [[Spanish|Hispanic]] [[Homos|lesbian]], and judging by her skin tone and hair texture, likely [[Chris and race#Black people|black]]. In spite of her racial and sexual status, Sonichu and Rosechu have tasked her with the job of keeping the little horrors "safe" and "under her watchful eye."<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140823175516/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today]</ref> As per Sonichu's by-proxy homophobia, she is explicitly instructed to conceal her sexuality from his children.

It is not disputed among [[trolls]] that Chris created Heather as a means of appearing less intolerant of homosexuals, similar to the "I'm not racist, I have black friends!" argument frequently seen on the Internet by [[Chris|racist, bigoted]] [[JERKS]]. All instances of homosexual characters prior to Heather were [[Christian Weston Chandler|insane sexual deviants]] such as [[Naitsirhc]]. How she avoided the contamination of the water by Chris in [[Sonichu 10]] is not explained, nor was she ever a victim of Chris's manipulation to turn straight and paired with a [[Kel|forgotten character]] as Naitsirhc had been — yet Chris retconned the straight-water plot anyway to make an excuse for his transition and to make Sonichu's children gay. The fact that she is also Hispanic suggests that, like many terrible white male storytellers before him, Chris has tried to heap all of the token minority representation onto one insignificant character (note how Chris made her a minority and gave her the stereotypical role as a nanny).

Chris originally despised homosexuals of either sex, but prior to creating Heather his views on lesbians completely reversed, likely due to exposure to them in pornography. As such, Chris could create an extremely peripheral homosexual character without much [[stress]], although of course that character's sexuality is implied to be a horrifying and shameful liability that children shouldn't even know about.

An off-screen character for years, she finally appears in Sonichu 12, tending [[Russel_and_Cynthia|Russel and Cynthia]] — Chris's neglected fictional children spawned via [[May_2015_Facebook_posts#Meet_Russel_and_Cynthia|self-impregnation.]] We learn that she speaks in an unintelligible mishmash of English and Spanish, somehow failing at both languages and basically sounding like a stroke victim.

==See also==
*[[Abusive babysitter]]
*[[Homos]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Iglesias, Heather}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Homos]]
[[Category:LGBT]]

List of Sonichu characters

2026-06-19T07:51:25Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Crystal Weston Chandler */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of appearance.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Christian Weston Chandler===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan Sonichu|Collosal Chan|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[File:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|The heroic Christian Weston Chandler!]]

Chris-chan's alternate self and {{w|Mary Sue}}, who, believe it or not, is meant to be the hero. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much thinner than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). Comic Chris is also even ''more'' psychotic than Real Chris, having [[4-cent garbage.com|murdered hundreds of people]] in a [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorist]] attack, permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|several]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|others]], [[Gun Comic|blown out people's kneecaps with a handgun]] after they've surrendered, [[Sonichu 0|destroyed]] the home life of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[homos]]exuals, and had four men arrested, tried in an openly biased court, and personally executed in brutal and inhumane ways. For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]]. And all with a gleeful smile on his face. His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!'', and he can access his [[Collosal Chan|Collosal]] form with the use of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].

Christian first appeared right on the front cover of [[Issue 0]], ordering Sonichu around. He cameoed throughout the rest of the comics, and took over as the main character in [[Issue 2]], which portrayed him as a descendant of the [[Cherokian Clan]] and fulfiller of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Chris has since made himself and his [[love quest]] the [[Chris and his ego|center of attention]] and main focus of the comic in every issue (with a [[Sonichu 8|few exceptions]]).

===Sonichu===
{{main|Sonichu (character)|Ultra Sonichu}}

[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|left|'I am [[gay|STRAIGHT!]]']]
Christian's "original" character. Sonichu is a recolor who is an unholy fusion of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|a Pikachu]]. In earlier episodes he was the main protagonist of the comics. That is, until Chris took the spotlight. By [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Christian had taken over as the main character, and by [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris had added [[Chaotic Combo|a new batch of recolors]] who took over from Sonichu as the supporting cast. Consequently, Sonichu didn't have a central role again until [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he returned to his original purpose as a Sue for Chris. He continued this trend through the following issue. However, he did remain in the spotlight in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], despite Chris's return, as he transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] and helped Chris in his killing spree.

===Rosechu===
{{main|Rosechu|The Incredible Lioness}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 0-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime. She is the one of the few main characters to do almost nothing for the entire series, though she did once face rape [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

[[File:Sanek.png|left|thumb|150px]]

[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the Sonic the Hedgehog game ''{{w|Sonic Adventure}}''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of Sonichu in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

===Trainer Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

[[File:KelHallOfFame.jpg|thumb|left|Wait, when did Kel ever see Rosechu again?]]
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into Rosechu. Continued to take care of Rosechu until Sonichu took over as her new pimp. She then disappeared for a long time, but when [[Sean August Watley]] later used Trainer Kel as a central character in his own comic, Moon-Pals, Christian became [[Death threats|very upset]]. When Sean was executed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris bought back Kel as his executioner, where she got her revenge on Sean for him DARING to give her a personality and a starring role.

Most of Kel's backstory and what little personality she apparently had came through the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu. According to this article, by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]] at some point. This same article also claimed however, that she was kind, sweet, innocent and caring.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu]</ref> This in spite of the fact that she shot a man to death at point-blank range. Given the contradictions, it is safe to assume that this article is non-canon.

===David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[china]], and suggesting Kel have sex with him herself. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[Simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered "Daisy" to Rosechu for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}
[[File:082-ReldnahcNotsewNaitsirhc.jpg|thumb|100px|You can tell he's gay because he is shirtless. Straight men wear [[Muscle bra|bras]]!]]

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc is Christian's polar opposite, who was found and adopted by the [[Pokémon]] villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil(er) version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin.

Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Christian [[Rape|pins him down]] and forcibly injects him with the Gay Vaccine from the future, which destroys his medallion, makes him lose his powers and turns him into a "good guy". Because as we all know, [[Chris and reality|homosexuality makes you evil]]. He was then sent to [[Kel]].

===Zapdos===
{{main|Pokémon}}

An electric type Pokémon and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of Black Sonichu.

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|Chris did once explain what this line meant. It made no more sense afterward than before.]]
Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive African American man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

He attempts to arrest Chris for soliciting in the [[CWCville]] Mall, but is defeated by Christian's use of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form. Jerkhief pulls a gun on the attacking furmonster, but Christian hits him with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], causing him to lose his wife, children and home, and making the poor man break down in tears. Another victory for the forces of good!

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]]. They are supposedly brainwashed [[slow-in-the-minds]] and College students. In spite of this, Christian has [[Chris and death|no qualms in killing them]], and doesn't even mention the possibility of curing them until way later in the series. It has also been suggested that the Jerkops leaders (aside from Mary and [[Count Graduon]]) were under similar influence, which makes Christian's cruelty to Jerkhief even worse.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

[[File:Bc.PNG]]

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}
[[File:SchuGioRetard.jpg|thumb|right|The insidious Giovanni]]
The leader of Team Rocket and villain of the first generation [[Pokémon]] games, Giovanni is determined to capture [[Sonichu]] at any cost. He teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, as Sonichu unexpectedly got help in dealing with the kidnappers, rather than going in alone like a retard, as they expected him to do. However, he only got help from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] because he bumped into him on his way to the base. So Sonichu is still retarded, just lucky.

Later on, Giovanni seems to have reevaluated his goals, and now seeks to take over [[CWCville]] and kill Christian, as he joined forces with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and helped them out during their attack on the city in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Surprisingly, he seemed to want his son Reldnahc to rule the city, rather than wanting it for himself. This shows that at least Giovanni thinks of others sometimes rather than himself, which is more than can be said for our heroes.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|left|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; [[CWCville|Eggmanland]]. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching Pokémon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots (Including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots), countless personal mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. Despite having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle again Chris. Not even a single Badnik.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
[[File:Bill1.png|thumb|Dr. Bill Schwartz, the Scientist.]]
One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

It was for quite some time canon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, [[Moon-Pals]]. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

Bill makes his grand return in the new pages of [[Sonichu 11]] drawn in [[2015]], where he witnesses the body of [[Simonla Rosechu]] come back to life via the power of ''{{w|Deus Ex Machina|deus ex machina}}''.

===Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake===
{{main|Blake}}
[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg|thumb|left|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog|someone]]?]]

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic [[Piss|urine]]-and-[[feces]] color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|hermaphrodite]].

He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Although Black Sonichu was technically introduced in the following issue, he did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu strips, [[Love quest|stalking]] [[Rosechu]].

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic, Metal Sonichu is one of the few characters that even Chris will admit is a rip-off. Despite this, he has [[Alec]]'s derivative character Metal [[Asperchu]] refer to Chris as the "original creator", either implying that Chris wanted to claim Metal Sonichu as original all along, or he wanted to [[Chris and copyright|take credit for another one of Alec's characters]]. Sadly, though, he blames the villains for it. Much like the original Metal Sonic, it is a combat robot built by [[Doctor Robotnik]] (Later retconned into [[Ren Skysoar]]) for [[Giovanni]] in the image of Sonichu, with the intention of [[Jerkops|capturing]] or [[Chris and Death|killing]] its organic counterpart.

In fitting with its role as a killing machine, it had some unique weapons and capabilities which the original Sonichu did not have- these included laser/lightning cannon-like weapons built into both of its hands/forearms, an automated targeting system built into its HUD, levitation, high speed flight and air-dashing abilities provided by the booster engine in its body, a sharpened axe blade-like tail for deadlier mid-air spin attacks, and a lightweight yet incredibly resilient armor and chassis which was capable of resisting several attacks from both Sonic and Sonichu with little apparent damage. It appears to be powered by rechargeable batteries (Or at least has them as one of its potential energy sources), as seen in its picture with Ren Skysoar showing it plugged into a wall and recharging via an extension lead on its tail. It also matches and could theoretically exceed Sonichu's [[power]] and standard abilities, although this was not seen during its initial appearance.

Metal Sonichu is defeated in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] by Sonic and Sonichu after being hit by a combined attack which hurls it into space, eventually causing it to crash into the [[Moon]]; however, the robotic clone survives this attack, as evident by the sight of its eyes glowing in the darkness and a clawed metal hand rising out of a crater, resulting in a cliffhanger.

The fans speculated that Chris probably just forgot about the robotic clone and that it would never be heard of again, but after being constantly reminded about it in the [[Mailbag]], and after Sean used Metal Sonichu for Moon-Pals, Chris suddenly declared that Metal Sonichu would be returning at some point in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]. According to Chris, the deactivated Metal Sonichu would have been found on the Moon and used as a vessel for the recently-revived [[Count Graduon]] to return to Earth, and would become the new villain- mostly because he had already removed every other major villain from the comic permanently in preparation for [[Sonichu 10|an issue]] dedicated to murdering characters based on his IRL trolls, and afterwards, [[Chris and writing|left nothing for his characters to do anymore]] as a result of it.

It was eventually seen again twelve years later in ''Sonichu'' #12, where Graduon is seen possessing Metal Sonichu's disembodied head on the Moon; coaxing [[Naitsirhc]] back to his side and giving him his old Electric Hedgehog powers back, while indirectly working with Ren Skysoar to repair the rest of the duplicate's body and escape. The entire scene plays out like the climax of the ''[[Transformers]]'' episode [https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Ghost_in_the_Machine_(G1) "Ghost in the Machine",] with Metal Sonichu/Graduon in the role of Unicron (who also appears as a disembodied head after the destruction of his body), and Naitsirhc as Starscream. The latter even [[Things Chris has ripped off|remarks beforehand]] that Graduon looks like a [https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Headmaster_(technology) Headmaster] in his new form.
{{-}}
<center><gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg|A robotic copy of a [[Sonichu (character)|copy]], and it's still the more likeable of the two.
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg|In [[Animal Crossing]] card form.
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg|Yeah...
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] variation.
File:Ren_metal.jpg|With [[Ren Skysoar]].
File:SchuComic12-1P45.jpg |Count Graduon in Metal Sonichu's form, from [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12...]]
File:SchuComic12-1P48.jpg |...and again.
</gallery></center>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s on-again off-again love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the powerful ZERO (E-100 Alpha) robot and re-united a separated family of birds, or in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is [[Women's rights|just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any Rosechu]]. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit. Interestingly, the page shows how much Chris ended up copying her design for Rosechu.

Chris later introduced two new pages to Sonichu #1 in [[October 2015]] revealing that both she and Sonic were simply disguises utilized by [[Silvana]]'s shapeshifting ability. Whether this becomes more integrated in other issues of the series is yet to be seen.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

A woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

The ''Sonichu'' version of Hanna is apparently an agent of PVCC, and the only troll in the entire comic to not be a cartoonishly evil-looking miscreant, probably due to being a woman.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli|Wasabi Rival}}

[[File:Wes Iseli.jpg|thumb|left|In his Wes-Li Sonichu form.]]
Sarah Hammer's IRL boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee.

When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as assisting in the attack on CWCville during [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer|Queen of the Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].]]

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furry just like himself.

As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone. Sarah then got married to another man, rejecting Chris yet again, and she left the city of CWCville entirely. She did cameo once more, though, in [[Sonichu Special 2]], where she dressed in drag and attended the ceremony of Christian's ill-fated marriage to [[Ivy]], acting as his best man.

===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===
[[File:Keeper.PNG|thumb|Is he old or just a kid with a beard?]]
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

[[Image:MaryLeeWalshSonicStyle.jpg|thumb|left|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as a tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. [[Chris and writing|At no point is any information about her motivation for this provided by anybody]].

Mary Lee Walsh first appeared in the comics in [[Issue 2]], but a preview of her design was shown in [[Issue 0]], and she had been mentioned in both [[sub-episodes]] that had been in previous comics. In her first full appearance, she was wielding the staff of [[Count Graduon]], and directing the Golem attacking [[CWCville]]. This is thought to be her canonical first appearance as well, and it is believed that the subepisodes all take place after [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], since the very first sub-episode features Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Throughout the comics, she did nothing but throw wave after wave of [[Jerkops]], [[Manajerks]] and other PVCC agents at Chris. Occasionally she'd help out herself, and sometimes she'd just kick back and let her robots handle it. She captured [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] in the Dark Mirror Hole at one point, but it had very little lasting consequence. Christian later confronted her as Hobo-Chan in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. There, she let Chris destroy Graduon's staff and she surrendered. Not content, Christian attacked her with two large swords. It ended with her being paralyzed for life and put in prison.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

[[Image:Count Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the most [[Pickle|phallic]] villain in the ''Sonichu'' series.]]
The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his tranny rape weapon against the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. He appeared to be destroyed after [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|GodMode!Chris]] smashes his staff in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but Chris has stated that he would bring Graduon back in a later issue, during which he would have found and possessed the deactivated Metal Sonichu on the [[Moon]], again returning to Earth as the main villain. From late-[[2015]] onwards, Chris has gradually began to place more emphasis on Graduon, creating a new design to show his true physical form, and also devising a Mii [[Super Smash Bros. Videos|that he then featured in several videos]] involving him fighting Walsh.

===Golem===
A weapon used by [[Count Graduon]] after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2, where it originally appeared as a boss controlled by Eggman.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. They would form the central cast of ''Sonichu'' for the rest of the comic, outranking even the original Sonichu in the CWCville hierarchy.

===Wild Sonichu===
{{main|Wild Sonichu}}
[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|left|Wild Sonichu, advising his one year old daughter on how best to [[Sonichu 10|mutilate a man.]]]]

The green recolor and a sort of leader to the group. Wild also partially rips off Spider-Man. He was apparently raised by a clan of weird ninja Scythers and a Venusaur. Once his father was kidnapped, he forgot all about him.

Later in life he became another member of the Great Director's private army and he served as another footsoldier in the many battles against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and PVCC. During the middle of all this dumbfuckery, he attended a Dating Education class and got paired up with a mindless twit named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. Simonla was later killed, but fortunately for Wild, the [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]] which resulted from all sex he had with her [[Chris and art#Originality|looked almost exactly like Simonla in every single way]].

===Bubbles Rosechu===
{{main|Bubbles Rosechu}}
[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg|thumb|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.

===Angelica Rosechu===
{{main|Angelica}}
[[Image:271-Angelica.jpg|thumb|left|Angelica, the embodiment of the Antichrist.]]

A white recolor. Angelica Rosechu was made to be a religious type, specifically a Catholic. Her backstory explains that she was taken in by a convent of nuns, who raised her to be a devout member of the Faith and named her Angelica after her resemblance to the biblical angels - despite this, Angelica grew up to be a filthy whore and a violent mercenary of [[CWCville]]. She evolved one night in her sleep. Chris, who somehow knew exactly where she was and when she would evolve, broke into her house to give her shoes and a scrunchie, which he left on her bed for her to find when she woke up.

Despite being billed as a pacifist and a peacemaker, she later became heavily entrenched in Christian's war against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]], and may very well have killed several people in the battle. This is pure speculation however. What isn't speculation though, was that she did, in fact, ''personally execute'' [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] - after reading him the last rites of course, [[Chris and religion|which Catholic laymen are not permitted to do]]. She charitably remarked 'May God have mercy' while doing so. This may indicate that on some level she knows that what she is doing is wrong, but it's likely that she was referring to Alec, because like Chris, she also has a huge [[ego]], and genuinely believes that people should be killed for making [[parody]] webcomics. Like Bubbles, she is also a slut. She put out for Reginald Sneasel on the first date and she has been known to [[Media:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|do things in church that would make Jesus himself cry.]]

===Punchy Sonichu===
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}

[[Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy, the Asian one.]]
The red one, Punchy is not even a recolour; he's just Knuckles the Echidna who is already red. The only difference between them is that Punchy is far more retarded and has racist looking slanty eyes.

Punchy was born in a dojo somewhere after his egg crash landed there. Immediately after hatching, he was challenged to a sparring match by the dojo owner's daughter and student, Mypoe, who [[Dragon Ball Z|ripped off his tail since it was a weakness]]. He then punched her through the roof to her presumed death. [[Excel Saga|G.D.W. Shinabe]], delighted at the murder of his daughter, decides to teach Punchy martial arts. This training was wasted on Punchy however, who just ended up using [[pokémon]] attacks for the rest of his life. Punchy later got caught up with the rest of the gang, and formed the Chaotic Combo with them. Shortly afterward, his master died under mysterious circumstances and he apparently inherited the dojo. Punchy then spent the rest of ''Sonichu'' fighting Jerkops and related enemies. He got a break from the routine in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where he took the [[Dating Education]] courses to try and learn how best to hook up with Angelica. As it turned out, Angelica would have been easy, but due to circumstances, Punchy ended up with another whore named Layla Flaaffy. Since [[Women's rights|all women are the same in Sonichu]], Punchy just rolled with it and had sex with her anyway. He later also participated in the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] executions.

===Magi-Chan Sonichu===
{{main|Magi-Chan}}
[[Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|thumb|left|When you turn your back, he's going to stab you.]]

The purple recolor. Magi-Chan was born in a mysterious cave where, upon hatching, he was contacted by the Pokémon Mewtwo, who trained him with his powers. Upon evolving into Magi-Chan, he promptly let out a fart. His training complete, Mewtwo left him and Magi-Chan would go on join the Chaotic Combo. Despite his awesome powers, Wild Sonichu was chosen over Magi-Chan as leader of the Chaotic Combo. It would be Magi-Chan who would serve as the means to locate the Sonichu Balls from their locations, accidentally causing Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]]. He would also fight Silvana from time to time as he attempted to save her from Graduon. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he frees Chris from the Time Void, goes into the future to bring the cure for homosexuality back to the present, but starts suffering due to that, yammering something about a crisis only Chris could avoid, failing to find a man high off his ass and failing to stop Evan and Simonchu from killing Simonla.

=== Sonee and Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}}

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], who appear on the first page of [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. Technically, baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu could never exist since they were created directly from a Pikachu and Raichu respectively, but that didn't stop Chris from creating them. They never made a canon appearance, but Chris recycled the designs for [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

===Scyther===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu. [[Chris and art|We think]].]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild told Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a failure to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

===Venusaur===
{{main|Pokémon}}
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.

===Swampert===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to an end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and seeming murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
[[Image:Wailord.png|200px|thumb|An actual Wailord.]]
Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica, they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from. Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, ''and'' they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
[[Image:Shinabe.jpg|thumb|left|Let it never be said Chris has no respect for [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]. He at least advertises the stuff he rips off.]]
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris's many horrible ''[[Excel Saga]]'' references. The anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', a follow-up project to ''Excel Saga''.

In ''Sonichu'', Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for ''Great Director Watanabe'', a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.

If Christian's "Sonichu" article on [[CWCipedia]] is to be taken as canon, then Shinabe was murdered by an ex-student seeking revenge for some reason ''during the middle of Punchy giving Chris a tour of the dojo''.

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in ''Sonichu'']]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of ''Puni Puni Poemy'', depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. Despite this, Chris claims that the two characters are not related.<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.284:11_to_6:01.29</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]]. She has a special place in their hearts due to being the only character that tried to put a Sonee out of its miserable existence shortly after birth.

=== Mewtwo ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Mewtwo.PNG|thumb|left|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris's idiocy.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers.

Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this though, much like all of the other sideplots [[Chris and his Ego|not involving him]], it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokémon team. Since in Pokémon lore there is only one Mewtwo, it can be assumed that this is the same one.

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Flame, who seems to be in dire need of pants, is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokémon, yet he readily uses Pokémon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Black Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

[[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|100px|Black Manajerk, the badass.]]
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]], kitted out with a suit of golden armour. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]]. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention after Chris was sucked into the [[Time Void]].

[[Chris and race|And yes, the 'B' in B-Manajerk does stand for Black]].

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], Merried Seinor Comic, also known as Kirby, is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonald's in which Chris was loitering that day. In ''Sonichu'', he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, Darkbind Sonichu arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.

===Wal-Mart Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Truly an inspiration to us all.]]
The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, W-M-Manajerk confronts Chris shortly after B-Manajerk and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.

Particularly worrying was that according to dialogue, Chris and Crystal were surprised to learn he could survive in just his head form after they removed it from his body, implying that they had intended to murder the helpless man.

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|right|Dear Lord, he's even [[gay]]er than [[Magi-Chan]]!]]
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the Manajerks at the Mal-Wart region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]]. He finally achieves this in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and then starts crying.

===Mecha-Jerkops===
{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the Manajerks to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops. One wonders what the point was when actual Jerkops are far more capable and numerous.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
===Crystal Weston Chandler===
{{main|Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)}}

Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris c. 2005 with the exception of being a female, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she can become a Rosechu – Crystalina Rosechu – through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought. Chris makes [[Chris and sex#Incest|numerous remarks about her beauty]].

=== Snorlax ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Snorlax]] who briefly appeared in Christian's 'Backyard Safari' [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops]].

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

=== ScotPalazzo ===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

ScotPalazzo is the [[Manajerk]] of Fa-Square, from the Sho-Mall Region. He is based on the manager who called the [[Jerkhief]] on Chris in real life, though he did not appear in ''Sonichu'' until Sub-Episode 6, where he for some reason became jealous that Chris had his own TV show; CWC's Backyard Safari. He decided once he was done watching it to order more Jerkops after Chris, since he was once again persisting to [[Love Quest|solicit sex in a public place]] and was still [[Story of my current days|resisting arrest]]. Or at least, that would be the [[Honest|truthful]] reason. In ''Sonichu'', however, it's because he hates love, since it caused his mother's murder suicide somehow. It's likely that the real ScotPalazzo's mother did no such thing, but Chris for some reason thinks that [[Trolls|anyone who dislikes him]] at all must have terrible and tragic lives, since [[Chris and his ego|only people with no life could ever possibly hate Chris]]! That said, ScotPalazzo is probably the only villain in Sonichu, at least until [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to have any kind of motivation, so no one's complaining. ScotPalazzo also attended Mary's villain convention after Chris was lost to the [[Time Void]].

=== Turdijerk ===
{{main|Turdijerk}}

Turdijerk is the Manajerk of the [[Get-Tar]] region. He appears in Sub-Episode 7, where he tells Chris to get out of his store because he is loitering on private property again and scaring off his customers. Unlike with previous cases where he has provoked Manajerks into a fight, this time Chris just attacked them outright after they asked him to leave. Not caring for being assaulted by loitering manchildren, Turdijerk calls [[Bagget|Marcus Bagget]] to come and deal with the potentially dangerous Chris before he attacks any more of his employees. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention.

=== Trebor Capman ===
{{main|Trebor Capman}}

Turdijerk's assistant and the second victim of Christian's unwarranted attack on the store manager. It can be assumed that his real name is Robert, given Chris's legendary love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]]. He was also present at the villain convention with his boss Turdijerk.

=== Marcus Bagget ===
{{main|Bagget}}
Yet another one of Chris's [[Sub-Episode]] characters of the week, '''Bagget''' (later ret-conned to '''Dagget''') is the leader of a group of [[Jerkop]]s in the [[Get-Tar Region]]. His efforts are supplemented by [[Crackder]] and a [[Jerkhief]]. Bagget and the Jerkops arrive shortly after Trebor Capman and Turdijerk attempt to make Chris leave a Target he had singled out as an [[Attraction Location]], but Chris refused to go. Thus, Bagget fought Chris personally using his sword, but the battle was fought to a standstill with Chris transforming into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], forcing Bagget to call in his Jerkop squad for assistance. After the Jerkhief gave Chris a wicked carpet burn and 'hog-timed' him, Bagget ordered Crackder to take the now-restrained manchild to [[PVCC]].

Unusually, Bagget never gets any form of punishment from Chris as a result of this, and disappears from the comic, only reappearing as a cameo among the council of enemies at PVCC in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. It is unknown exactly what role he played in the battle between Chris and the Chaotic Combo vs. PVCC.

Ironically, the real '''Marcus Bagett''' that Bagget is based on has received multiple awards for his heroism.

=== Crackder ===
{{main|Crackder}}

{{Incomplete}}

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===William Spicer===
The husband of Sarah Hammer. Because Chris had no clue as to what William actually looked like, Chris depicted him as a Jack's Knight, a card from the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card game franchise.

===Megan Schroeder (Meg-Chan)/Sailor Megtune===
{{main|Megan Schroeder|Sailor Megtune}}
Chris's second love interest. Based off of the actual Megan Schroeder, she moonlights as a Sailor Senshi, devoted to aiding Chris whenever he can't get off his own fat rear to do so. Despite having a very central role when she first appears, she is quickly erased from the series after her real-life counterpart gives Chris the boot in the aftermath of his ED discovery.

===Megagi La Skunk===
{{main|Megagi La Skunk}}
Megan's skunk companion. Starting out as a butch, tomboyish character with more personality than the rest of the Rosechus, her distinct nature rapidly corrodes as she gains a boyfriend in Bionic, devolving into a bland feminine cheerleader by Issue 9.

===Harriet, Joseph, Julia, Nick===
Couples harassed by Jerkops.

===Jamsta Sonichu===
{{main|Jamsta Sonichu}}

DJ for KCWC and one of the few Sonichus shown that weren't created by the Chaotic Rainbow. He has no obvious powers and speaks in outdated slang. Interestingly, Jamsta's the actual ORIGINAL Sonichu, yet he wasn't discovered and named until later, giving Sonichu all the credit.

===CWCVille Constable===
One of the few non-Jerkops in CWCVille.

===CADD Chef (alias Keneru-Meneth)===
{{main|CADD Chef}}

Another one of Slaweel's minions who does nothing but complain about building designs. The character is based off of Chris's Computer-Aided Drafting and Design and the ''South Park'' character Chef. Why Chris chose to combine these two concepts is known only to him.

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==

===Patti-Chan===
{{Main|Patti Chandler|Patti-Chan}}

Chris's beloved dog. Following her real-life death, in the comics, a combination of eating a four-leaf clover and moonbeams transformed Patti into Patti-Chan. Realizing what had happened, Chris brought his dog to CWCVille so it can live on forever. She uses her magic to protect the Mayor's office in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], then kills Alec in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] because "she's not a zombie."

===Allison Amber===
{{main|Allison Amber}}

Chris's mayoral secretary. Once a prominent Hollywood star, she bafflingly gave up the fame and fortune to work in the CWCVille Mayor's office. She essentially performs the entirety of the mayoral work in lieu of Chris while he traipses around murdering people and finding true love. When Chris became trapped in the Time Void, it was indicated that she had overtaken all of his duties until his return - presumably this made very little difference to Allison's schedule. In ''Sonichu'' #10, she rather harshly kills Sean for his promiscuous depiction of her in ''Moon-Pals''.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of teenager-aimed Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the "inspiration" of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Zelina Rosechu===
{{main|Zelina Rosechu}}

Darkbind Sonichu's love interest. She is put under a spell through the locked power of the Sonichu Crystals prior to the start of the series. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], she is awakened to much fanfare and is unsurprisingly revealed to be as unimportant and devoid of personality as all the other Rosechus.

===Clawdorf===
{{main|Clawdorf}}

Darkbind Sonichu's deadly foe. After putting Zelina into a deep sleep, he is accidentally [[Yawning Squirtle|turned into stone]] and left in a cave. He is presumed freed by Ultra Sonichu.

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Bionic the Hedgehog}}

Chris's first creation before Sonichu came into play. Thought up of after getting smacked with a Sonichu Crystal (later altered to be a basketball), Bionic became Chris's first creation. He would go into obscurity until Naitsirhc arrived on the scene, knocking out the villain with a basketball. He would soon fall in love with Megagi and go and aid Chris in his adventures, culminating in Bionic electrocuting Alec.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical ''[[Family Guy]]'' style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate representation of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

===Skelevision and Ghost Buggy===
{{main|Ghostbusters}}

Items used by the Filmation Ghostbusters in their adventures. Sammy busts through them in his "Family Guy Skitch" in his confused state.

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}

One of Chris's old classmates and one of his old high school crushes. She appears in Episode 15, discovering Chris's nude picks and is revealed to have warned Rosechu in Episode 17. Interestingly, she is one of the few who ''doesn't'' get a retconned name change.

===Bender Bending Rodriguez===
{{main|Futurama}}

A lazy self-absorbed robot who gets his kicks off of robbing people, getting drunk and all around being lazy, especially with his friend Philip J. Fry. Doesn't ''that'' sound like someone we know. Bender is seen spiraling through the time stream as Chris, Sonichu and Magi-Chan travel on.

===Joseph Herring===
{{main|Joseph Herring}}

One of the many people affected by Slaweel's attacks, this pimply faced man, later renamed Joe Herr, is seen lamenting about the loss of his girlfriend. The character is based off of a man by the same name who actually looked pretty decent.

===Beavis and Butt-Head===
{{main|Beavis and Butt-head}}

MTV's legendary icons for all things 1990, Beavis and Butt-Head were two idiotic teens who got their kicks through destruction, pervert antics and all around being complete and utter idiots. And America ''mostly'' loved them. They show up in Episode 16 slamming a locker door, mimicking a scene from one of their shorts.

===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]

Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform mentally retarded people into new Jerkops. From this it can be inferred that any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Breasted Jerkops would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

===Jason Kendrick Howell===
{{main|Jason Kendrick Howell}}

The head of 4-cent_garbage, Jason Kendrick Howell is the bald-headed, eye-patch wearing cause of Chris's torment in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Based off of the person by the same name whom Chris believes put up the Chris-Chan ED page, Jason is shown as apathetic to Sonichu's pleas before he launches a pickle at Rosechu, causing her to transform into the [[Incredible Lioness]] and face rape him. He would return in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only to decide he was going to retire from trolling Chris because tormenting him is WRONG.

===Kathleen===
{{main|Kathleen}}

Kathleen is Jason's "woman slave", seen wearing an odd BDSM outfit and in a crawling position. She stays ever faithful by Jason's side throughout the whole thing. She is based off the woman by the same name, who was Jason's girlfriend at the time.

===Blanca===
{{main|Blanca}}

The first of many troll gal-pals to appear in the comics. Blanca was the creator of Jiggliami and was present at the interview with Jamsta. In issue 8, however, it's revealed that she went back to Kentucky to be with her boyfriend.

===Jiggliami===
{{main|Jiggliami}}

Blanca's creation, an odd fusion of Amy Rose and a Jigglypuff. She is a songstress who's seeking to become popular. She appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] with an interview with Jamsta and in a Spring Break concert in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], helping the Chaotic Combo before inexplicably disappearing forever.

===Lolisa Rosechu===
{{main|Lolisa Rosechu}}

Jamsta's assistant on his radio show. Oddly, she is also the oldest Rosechu of the bunch, but because this is Chris's comic, she is conveniently shoved aside so that Rosechu is the first, thus named after her.

===Robert Simmons V===
{{main|Robert Simmons V}}

Another troll who made his way into the comic as a major fan of the comics. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he appears at Jiggliami's interview. However, after Chris learned the truth of the man, he retconned it in his [[Videobooks]] by saying he was arrested for getting too close to Chris.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

===Lovey and Thurston Howell III===
{{main|Lovey Howell|Thurston Howell III}}
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

===Beel===
{{main|Beel}}

The secretary at 4-cent_garbage, he is a devil-like creature with the [[homos|gayest]] jean shorts ever. He shows up briefly in Episode 17, but is more prominently shown in Episode 21, stealing Chris's medallion, before having it teleported away, then blasted to kingdom come. He returns just in time to berate Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus over their trolling of Chris (comparing it to working with Adolf Hitler) before disappearing.

===4-cent_garbage.com employees===
{{main|4-cent_garbage}}

The workers of 4-cent_garbage building. Chris reappears to briefly sock one of them in the face. In Episode 21, Chris returns fully and destroys the building, killing about a hundred of the employees.

===George W. Bush===
{{main|George W. Bush}}

42nd President of the United States and son of the 40th President, George H. W. Bush, he saw his highs of popularity from the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 attacks]] plummet after he initiated the War in Iraq. He is depicted in the elevator gag tipping over his successor off his ladder.

===Barack Obama===
{{main|Barack Obama}}

43rd President of the United States and first [[niggo|African-American president]]. Obama is depicted in the elevator gag attempting to paint the White House black, but is stopped by Bush.

===John McCain===
{{main|John McCain}}

Obama's opponent in the 2008 elections and former US Senator. He yells at Obama for painting the White House black.

===Hilary Clinton===
{{main|Hillary Clinton}}

New York Senator, former First Lady to 41st President Bill Clinton and one of five potential candidates in the Democratic nominee for President. She's present as Obama paints the White House.

===Sarah Palin===
{{main|Sarah Palin}}

Former Alaskan governor, John McCain's running mate and all-around gullible bag of bricks. This "bulldog with lipstick" was present as Obama painted the White House.

===Simonla Rosechu===
{{main|Simonla Rosechu}}

Wild Sonichu's fuck toy, Simonla Rosechu is the unholy monstrosity created when Chris took Simonchu Sonichu, a creation by [[Evan]] (who in turned based it off of Simon the Digger of ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'') and gave it breasts and china. Simonla first appears when she joins the other Rosechus in "stripping for [[Women's Rights]], introducing her friend Zapina. She's later paired up with Wild in Dating Education before aiding said Sonichu in defending CWCVille from Slaweel's attack. However, Simonla would meet her demise by a Voltorb blowing itself up, killing her ''on the toilet''.

===Zapina Rosechu===
{{main|Zapina Rosechu}}

A young (under-age) Rosechu who's friends with Simonla. She first appears trying to join some of the other Rosechus in stripping publicly for Women's Rights, but Rosechu shoots down that idea because of the "dumb" child pornography laws. She is later seen defending CWCVille from Slaweel and her minions.

===Greta Squall===
[[File:Greta.PNG|thumb|There are blind five-year-olds who can draw better human figures. With their feet.]]
News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News", obviously a parody of Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren. Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.

===Silvana Rosechu===
{{main|Silvana Rosechu}}

Another missing Rosechu, she was found on [[The Motherfucking Moon]] by Count Graduon and turned evil, giving her shapeshifting powers and a [[duck|penis]]. She appears in Episode 18, fucking Blake disguised as Bubbles before being driven off. She appears again in Episode 20, fighting Magi-Chan and appears one last time, disguising herself as a malformed Meg Griffin. According to Chris, Silvana would lose her powers and her dick when Graduon's staff was shattered and she would soon fall in love with Magi-Chan.

===Yawning Squirtle===
{{main|Yawning Squirtle}}

A Squirtle that is seen yawning and given a very stoned look. Many trolls took it that the Squirtle was actually high off of weed and ran with it. In retaliation, Chris mentioned that this Squirtle was actually an old friend of Bubbles and that it was also captured and not shot to the moon.

===Sea Pokémon===

Comprised of [[Mudkips]], [[Seadra]], [[Goldeen]], [[Staryu]], [[Corsola]], [[Octillery]], [[Mantine]], and [[Corphish]]. Note that Mudkip are found in swamps, not the ocean.

===Optimus Prime===
{{main|Optimus Prime}}

Supreme Commander of the Autobots and hero of the Transformers franchise. He is considered to be one of Chris's idols. However, he is depicted in Issue 8 as a grand hero (or a murderer, however you want to look at it), killing Decepticon spy Sarah Jackson.

===Sarah Jackson===
{{main|Sarah Jackson}}

One of Chris's sweethearts and Decepticon spy. She is given a memorial by depicting the heroic Optimus Prime running down her truck in his truck form.

===Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (aka Panda Halo)===
{{main|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda Halo}}

The third of Chris's gal-pals. She is given a shout out in Issue 8, only to be depicted dying in an a fire in Issue 9, mirroring her real-life "demise" which Chris concocted with no impetus.

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==

===Sarah Jackaras===

Sarah Jackson's second comic persona. She is depicted as a teacher for Chris's demented Dating Education class. At the end of the episode, her sister nonchalantly announces her death before handing out test scores.

===George Philip===
A kid in Dating Education. He resembles Kenny from ''[[South Park]]''. He was matched up with Ivy, but got screwed because Ivy was holding out for Chris.

===Layla Flaaffy===
{{main|Layla Flaaffy}}

Ivy's companion, who does not even vaguely resemble a Flaaffy. She ends up hooking up with Punchy in Episode 19 and is shown one last time blasting away a bunch of Jerkops with a Thunder attack in Episode 20.

===Ivy===
{{main|Ivy}}

The last of the real-life sweethearts to show up in the ''Sonichu'' comics (excluding the specials) thus far. She ends up having a vision where God and Jesus tell her that she is to be Chris's one true love. Irrespective of this, she is strangled by elevator wire in Episode 20.

===Reginald Sneasel===
{{main|Reginald Sneasel}}

Chris's Mary Sue character that fills in for him while he is still trapped in the Time Void. He despises [[Niggo|darkies]] and attempts to break up Punchy and Layla only for Angelica to feel sorry for him and be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].

===God/Jesus===
{{main|God/Jesus}}

Our Creator and our Lord and Savior. They appear in a vision to let Ivy know that she and Chris were meant to be. However, since Ivy dies in the next episode, it's hard not to imagine they were trolling the two in the process.

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|Florance Fisher]]

One of the few [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil, although she is extremely peripheral. She is rejected by Reginald Sneasel, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

===Rita Jackaras===

Sarah's sister. She replaces Sarah after offhandedly revealing she died somehow during the students' lunch break, then begins handing out test scores. Judging by her [[Speech impediment|odd speech patterns]], she may be [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]].

===Other students===

Comprised of:
*Amy Testa
*Clem Jennings
*Geraldine Beglan
*Fred Shiflet
*Emily Ryan
*Unnamed computer-lab attendant
*Clyde Raymond Cwash- Scored the lowest on the dating test. An obvious stab at [[Clyde Cash]], even though in real life<ref>Or at least in what Chris [[Chris and reality|believes is real life]]</ref> he not only succeeded in two tasks Chris has so far failed - [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo|getting married and having a child]] - but also achieved those goals using [[Chris and sex#Rape|extremely Chris-like methods]].

===Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels===
{{main|Scoundrals As Vessels}}

Evil PVCC Decepticons, they're mass produced and act as heavy-duty attackers. Repaint of Swindle from ''Transformers Animated''

===Samurai Pizza Bots===
{{main|Samurai Pizza Bots}}

CWCVille's main machine protectors and obvious Autobot rejects. This team is comprised of:
*[[Prower]] - Punchy's motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from ''Transformers Animated''
*[[Son-Chu]] - a depiction of Chris's real-life car with a "SONICHU" vanity plate
*[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from ''Transformers Animated''. Also a pizza delivery car.
*[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from ''Revenge of the Fallen''.
*[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from ''Transformers Animated''. Even has a guitar as a weapon.

===Blazebob Sonichu and Chloe Rosechu===
{{main|Blazebob Sonichu|Chloe Rosechu}}

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]].<ref>From the CWCipedia "Sonichu" page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."''</ref> They are saved by Panda before her gruesome death and start bawling at her death before a firefighter tells them to move their asses.

===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The ''Sonichu'' variation of Liquid Chris. This ground-type Sonichu is easily curb-stomped by Sonichu before he can really get the chance to attack. It's said that Liquid's medallion was made out of paper.

===Cerah, Christine, and Robbie===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Children}}

The demonic spawn of Sonichu and Rosechu. Robbie is known for his screechy voice and [[speech impediment]], Christine is known for being [[Chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] and "shiny" (read: not really Sonichu's), and Cerah is known for absolutely nothing at all. All are equally abominable in the eyes of the Lord. These three simply show up at the end of the comic with only one extremely minor mention prior to then, and their births have never been shown. It is extremely likely that these three were created in response to trolls pointing out that Sonichu and Rosechu were having premarital underage sex. They feature all too heavily subsequent to their sudden introduction.

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==

===Bugs Bunny===
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

===Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez===
[[Image:geraldandlouie.JPG|thumb|Constables Gerald (left) and Louis, with firm friend Sonichu.]]

Two of [[CWCville]]'s policemen (true blue, not [[Jerkops]]) who show up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]]. Despite this being their first appearance, they are shown as good friends of [[Sonichu]].

Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]].

Louis is the [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.

===The Asperpedia Four===
[[Image:Maoalecevansean.jpg|thumb|The Asperpedia Four on trial. (Clockwise from the top: Mao, Alec, Evan, Sean.)]]

The main users of the Asperpedia. They are arrested and executed by Chris and the others for their roles in the death of Simonla. The four are:

*[[Alec Benson Leary]] - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly." Is electrocuted by Chris and the Chaotic Combo.
*[[Evan]] - Simonchu's creator. Is castrated and drilled to death by Sandy and Wild.
*[[Sean August Watley]] - Creator of Moon-Pals. Is shot to death by Allison, Bill the Scientist, and Kel.
*[[Asperpedia|Mao]] - Asperpedia admin. Is [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|broken]] and killed by Chris.

Chris would, in an attempt to appear like a less psychotic human being, make a new ending for Sonichu 10, wherein the four are condemned to live in a Amish community for the rest of their lives, which results in them becoming a bunch of [[slow-in-the-minds]] who spew [[random-access humor]].

===Sackboy===
{{main|Little Big Planet}}

The mascot and main character of the ''Little Big Planet'' game franchise. He appears in issue 10 to tell readers not to buy unauthorized copies of ''LBP'' for the [[Hex Box]].

===Jimmy Hill===
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

Famed former soccer player turned commentator who was used as part of a trolling scheme against Chris. He is depicted in Issue 10 getting his teeth knocked out by Chris-Chan Sonichu's Hyper Beam before being scolded by Bugs Bunny.

===Clyde Cash===
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

Infamous troll who helped inspire many others. In actuality, Clyde's first appearance was in ''[[Sonichu Special 1]]'', capturing Ivy and trying to kill both Chris and Ivy when they escape. In issue 10, he's depicted as a panicking man as the 4-cent_garbage building began falling. Unwilling to let Chris kill him, he takes the hand of his lover, Jack Thaddeus, and leap to his death.

===Jack Thaddeus===
{{main|Jack Thaddeus}}

Person who owned the ads at the CWCkipedia and forced Chris to hump his [[PS3|Life Upgrade]]. He is depicted as another panicking man in the 4-cent_garbage building. He joins his lover, Clyde Cash, in leaping to their deaths, unwilling to let Chris have his victory.

===Meg Griffin===
{{main|Meg Griffin}}

Middle child of the fictional Griffin family, usually depicted as being ignored and ridiculed by her family and just about everyone else. In Issue 10, she was a disguise by Silvana, who appeared, told Chris how awesome he was, shared a kiss with him, then disappeared. Worst troll ever.

===Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu===
{{main|Asperchu}}

Star of Alec Benson Leary's comic of the same name. When Ultra Sonichu appears, he takes away his personality and Asperger's and transforms him into Mitch Sonichu (and Chris expected Alec to follow suit).

===Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)===
{{main|Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)}}

Formerly the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, Wild and Magi-Chan. Ultra Sonichu appears and removes their "Asperger's" (despite none of them actually having the condition) and gives them new identities of Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu.

===Metal Asperchu===

A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.

===Basement Rosechus===
{{main|Basement Rosechus}}

A group of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris was implying that they were raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

===Inos===
{{main|Inos}}

A homeless man discovered by Ultra Sonichu. To his horror, Inos is discovered with a five year cold and under the influence of weed. Ultra Sonichu steals his weed away then has the police slap his wrist. He later reappears during the Christmas special to compliment [[Blake]] and wish him a Happy Kwanzaa, but Blake responds with anger and some subdued [[racism]]. Blake attempts to attack Inos, but [[Bubbles]] tells him to 'stand down'.

===Simonchu===
{{main|Simonchu}}
[[File:SimonlaSimonchuHaiti.JPG|150px|thumb|right|Simonchu (right) and [[Simonla Rosechu|his infringed counterpart]].]]
The main hero of [[Evan]]'s Simonchu comics and Wild's lover in Asperchu. He attempts to kill his evil clone Simonla, but is stopped by Magi-Chan.
{{-}}

===Toilet Exploding Voltorb===
[[Image:Toiletexplodingvoltorb.png|thumb|Simonla's killer.]]

The Pokémon that kills Simonla with Self-Destruct.

===Sandy Rosechu===
{{main|Sandy Rosechu}}

The bastard child of Wild and Simonla. She is forced to be evolved by Wild and is trained by different Pokémon just so she can ''tear Evan's genitals out''.

===Judge Slack Lewis===

The judge presiding the case of the Asperpedia Four. He has an obvious bias towards Chris and allows everything that goes on. He may or may not be a rip-off of {{w|Lewis Black}}, a comedian who would likely rage at Chris and the comic.

===Marvey Blaziken===

A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the law|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

===Spiny Norman===

An actual hedgehog, Chris shoehorned in an incredibly minor reference to an early ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' sketch on the page calling out [[Jimmy Hill]], presumably because Chris' only exposure to the British seems to be from TV shows.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==
===Kevin===
{{main|Kevin the Jew}}

An unseen friend of [[Cerah Rosey]]. Since he's Jewish, Cerah bakes him as a gift a candle-shaped cookie for Hanukkah, due to the candle-related symbolism in this holiday's rituals, despite the fact that a biscuit of any shape would have been accepted for such a celebration. Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply asking if he's allergic, she just assumes it.<ref>[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], p. [:image:SchuComic11P4.jpg|4].</ref> Because Jews are sickly Melvins with many allergies, you see. He later appears for the first time in a visual role in ''Sonichu'' #11's adaptation of ''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]'', and heavily resembles a character from ''Peanuts''.

==[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]==
===Vulva Pie===
{{main|Jackie}}

A pink cat who was Jackie's OC. In the comic, she was Robbie/Roberta's former classmate and girlfriend. Their relationship ended after [[Jackie|her mother]] whisked her away.

===Jackie===

Though not directly named, she is the mother of Vulva Pie who took her daughter to somewhere else to spite Chris and Robbie/Roberta.

===Mimi===

Originally a character from a [[Commissions#The_Flufflehugs_Commissions|commission]], she was another girlfriend that Robbie/Robert once dated.

===Danny Steckle===
{{main|DStecks}}

A character obviously based on a man who donated Chris $1000. He was thanked by Angelina in the Cwcville Pride Festival for his generous donations to the town's soup motels.

===Russel Sonee and Cynthia Rosey===
In Facebook post from 21 May 2015, Chris describes how Chris-chan Sonichu's form has turned into a female one. While still being in his Chris-chan Sonichu form, Chris inseminates himself with a sample of his semen that he produced while still in his human form. Two weeks he laid two eggs, and three weeks afterwards a Sonee and Rosey hatched from them. Chris named the Sonee Russel and the Rosey Cynthia. They both respectively developed into a Sonichu and Rosechu later on, with Russel developing an interest in Britain and English culture and Cynthia developing an interest in her Cherokee roots and becoming a naturist. According to Chris they have no birth defects, not even their parent's autism.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> After two years of being mentioned but not appearing in the comic, they debut as a cameo at the Pride Festival.

===Cole Smithey===
{{main|Cole Smithey}}
Chris's half-brother appears as a brainwashed [[jerkop]] who attempted to ambush Chris, only to hit an illusionary double. He was then knocked out cold by Chris and sent to a pocket dimension.

==[[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]==

===Night Star===
{{main|Night Star}}

Chris's psychic-type ponysona and the main protagonist of the issue. She was born on the same day as Chris and shares his heterochromia. Like the Mary Sue she is, she has immense psychic powers and the ability to transform into a Sonichu form to fight evil. She also has the ability to create portals, which she uses liberally in almost any given situation.

===Sugar Darling and Gallop Crush===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}} {{main|Bob Chandler}}

Night Star's parents who were obviously based on Chris's parents.

===Lyra===

Made a brief cameo congratulating Night Star in hatching a dragon egg.

===Vinyl Scratch/DJ Pon-3===
{{main|Vinyl Scratch}}
Two incarnations of the DJ appeared. One in her Canterlot form and another in her pony form.

===Half of the Mane Six===

Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack would make brief cameos thoughout the comic.

===Diamond Melody===
{{main|Jessica Quinn|Diamond Melody}}

Based on Jessica Quinn, she was Night Star's first love. They would date by traveling around CWCville until she shamefully moved away after meeting her real-life counterpart.

===Nepgear===
{{main|Hyperdimension Neptunia}}

Younger sister of Purple Heart. She appeared and accompanied Night Star and Diamond Melody to a concert.

===Discord===

A draconequus and the spirit of chaos. In the Sonichu lore, he serves as Chris's bodyguard and appeared in the comic discussing plans of a fundraiser with Night Star.

===Kun T'Nyuget/Kun Hanhphuc===
{{main|Kun T'Nyuget}}

Joshua Wise created his ponysona, Kun T'Nyuget, as part of the trolling plan. However, due to the intervention of [[Kiwi Farms]] he was renamed as Kun Hanhphuc by the time of his debut. Like Rosechu, he is mostly useless and serves as a tag-along and someone who needs to be rescued.

===Rei Ryghts===

The CPU of the fallen nation of Tari and represents the Atari 2600. She is the head of the Seven Sages and the main antagonist of Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory. She was seen terrorizing Cwcville and making short work of Night Star before the other CPUs came and defeated her.

===Captain Celaeno===

A character whose first and only known appearance was in the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie. She is an anthropomorphic parrot who is the captain of a pirate crew who expressed concern with the unusually hostile relationship with Pea-Tree and Squaker.

===Pea-Tree and Squaker===
Two of Captain Celaeno's crews who may or may not be [[homos|gay to each other]]. Their conflicting views of the Storm King were a central plot during the fourth and final story arc of ''Sonichu'' #12-9.

===Tempest Shadow===

Another character from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie. As the former lieutenant of the Storm King, she assisted Night Star and Kun in their mission to help Captain Celaeno.

==[[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]==

===John Yamada===
{{main|Idea Guys}}

A Gameindustri agent who informed Chris of the chaos happening in Cwcville. He serves as Chris's informant on the twisted matters of the plot and an important figure early on as he was able to bring back Chris's ability to transform, fought alongside the Sonichus and CPUs, and provided funding via bank robberies in PayDay. He is also extremely lustful, having five wives, much to Chris's annoyance.

===Akan===

Main antagonist of ''Hardcore Henry'' and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. As a Russian billionare, he funded the Russian army during the first invasion of Cwcville and ruled the city via a puppet mayor during his occupation. He is also depicted to have powers similar to Chris.

===Monika===

The major driving force of the game Doki Doki Literature Club and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. Like in the game, she has some reality bending powers, most notably memory wiping and deletion, which were used against Chris and his allies.

===Kuromi===

The evil half of Uzume Tennouboshi and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. Unlike the previous two, her powers were not completely known as she was the only one of the trio who was actually defeated.

===Emmet Brown===

The iconic scientist from the ''Back to the Future'' trilogy made a cameo assisting Sonichu by transporting him back to Virginia.

===Chris clones===

Using the DNA collected from Chris's grimy bedroom, Night Star accidentally unleashed hundreds of imperfect, blobby clones of Chris to Equestria. These situation involving the horny hordes were so severe, that the entire kingdom was evacuated so they can be napalmed.

===Past Chris===

Based on Chris's earlier comic depiction, he is possessed by Satan and a devoted follower of the Nazi ideology. Just as he was to abolish women's rights, he was killed by Present Chris.

===Ted Bundy===
{{main|Bundychu}}

Based on the American serial killer. Bundy was reincarnated as a Sonichu and serves to defend CWCville.

===Adolf Hitler===

The infamous Nazi dictator himself makes an appearance comic, who was kept alive with the Sonichu medallion and influenced past Chris's behaviors. He was initially turned to dust by Present Chris in 2000, but appeared again in 2018 in his Sonichu form.

=="[[Sonichu Special 2]]"==

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]

A small [[China|Chinese]] girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appears as the flower girl. Chris seems to be completely unaware of {{w|Ching chong|the stereotypes said character's name brings along.}}

===Officer Keino===

[[Image:Coachkein.jpg|thumb|left|Officer Keino and Coach McGuirk]]

The father of [[Ivy]] (named in honor of the [[troll]] Keine).
A blatant ripoff of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Home_Movies_characters#Coach_John_McGuirk|Coach John McGuirk]] from [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']], he is [[Ivy]]'s father. He has appeared in the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and the [[Wedding Comic]], the latter of which was shown in [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|the Marriage Proposal To Ivy]]. Chris gave Keino the Cub Scout salute, believing this is how you address a police officer.

===Other Characters===
*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs, who are ring bearers
*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear|Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of reptilian bakers
*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*An unnamed [[My Little Pony]] character - pulls the chariot that Chris and Ivy ride in
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}

==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The real Christian Weston Chandler, though he refers to himself as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] in Solid Chris's comic world. Here, he is displayed as a knife-wielding madman who wants to cut up Kacey for... no apparent reason. Ian responds by disarming him, then blowing out his shins.

===Kacey===
{{main|Kacey}}
Girlfriend of the real Chris and damsel in distress in the comic.

===Megatron===
{{main|Megatron}}
Seeing as the comic already depicted Optimus Prime mowing down evil, it's only natural that his eternal nemesis and leader of the Decepticons Megatron strike fear into the hearts of those who do good. He aids Ian by shooting an unarmed Chris in the legs.

===Kacey's Family===
All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs. Her family is comprised of:
**[[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Fighter 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry.)
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sonichu characters not seen in the comics but otherwise mentioned by Chris==
Being an avant-garde writer with little regards to outdated conventions, Chris ignores the idea of "show don't tell" and often introduces entire plots and characters in his writings rather than in his drawings. Some of those characters include:

*A [[Pokémon#Pokémon not appearing within the comics|plethora of various Pokémon]].
*A bunch of merpeople populating the lost city of Atlantis. Virtually nothing is known about them other than that they are friends of [[Bubbles]].<ref name="Bub cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bubbles_Rosechu Bubbles Rosechu]</ref>
*Terrah LeAnne Yowman, her sweetheart Tippanston Gowen, and the various unnamed students mentioned in [[The High School Story]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens#The_High_School_Story The High School Story] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref>
*A Pokémon Professor named [[Cole]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia. He examined Sonichu and Rosechu after they transformed into their current forms, and was also responsible for teleporting Rosechu to Kel when the latter was engaging in gym battles.<ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref>
*Grace Rosewell, the Reverend at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Sonichu, Rosechu and the Chaotic Combo attend her service every Sunday.<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>
*Fritz Richmond, a pastor at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Helped raise Angelica.<ref name="ang cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Angelica Rosechu]</ref>
*An ex-student of Shinabe who kills his master in revenge for an unknown slight. Punchy kills in return with a punch and buries him behind Shinabe's Dojo.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />
*Three unnamed protectors of Parodyse Island - According to [[Megagi]]'s [[Animal Crossing]] card, she and three other unnamed individuals are the protectors of Parodyse Island.<ref>[[:File:315-ACMegagiBck.jpg]]</ref> Nothing further is known about them.
*[[Perceptor Sonichu]], a female, shiny Sonichu created by the Idea Guys who was raised by Mewtwo and Magi-Chan. She has infinite knowledge, is immune to manipulation, and can destroy any Nazi technology.<ref>[[:File:PerceptorSonichu.jpeg]]</ref>

==Notes==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

List of Sonichu characters

2026-06-19T07:42:56Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Boulder-Dropping Whale */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of appearance.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Christian Weston Chandler===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan Sonichu|Collosal Chan|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[File:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|The heroic Christian Weston Chandler!]]

Chris-chan's alternate self and {{w|Mary Sue}}, who, believe it or not, is meant to be the hero. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much thinner than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). Comic Chris is also even ''more'' psychotic than Real Chris, having [[4-cent garbage.com|murdered hundreds of people]] in a [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorist]] attack, permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|several]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|others]], [[Gun Comic|blown out people's kneecaps with a handgun]] after they've surrendered, [[Sonichu 0|destroyed]] the home life of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[homos]]exuals, and had four men arrested, tried in an openly biased court, and personally executed in brutal and inhumane ways. For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]]. And all with a gleeful smile on his face. His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!'', and he can access his [[Collosal Chan|Collosal]] form with the use of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].

Christian first appeared right on the front cover of [[Issue 0]], ordering Sonichu around. He cameoed throughout the rest of the comics, and took over as the main character in [[Issue 2]], which portrayed him as a descendant of the [[Cherokian Clan]] and fulfiller of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Chris has since made himself and his [[love quest]] the [[Chris and his ego|center of attention]] and main focus of the comic in every issue (with a [[Sonichu 8|few exceptions]]).

===Sonichu===
{{main|Sonichu (character)|Ultra Sonichu}}

[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|left|'I am [[gay|STRAIGHT!]]']]
Christian's "original" character. Sonichu is a recolor who is an unholy fusion of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|a Pikachu]]. In earlier episodes he was the main protagonist of the comics. That is, until Chris took the spotlight. By [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Christian had taken over as the main character, and by [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris had added [[Chaotic Combo|a new batch of recolors]] who took over from Sonichu as the supporting cast. Consequently, Sonichu didn't have a central role again until [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he returned to his original purpose as a Sue for Chris. He continued this trend through the following issue. However, he did remain in the spotlight in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], despite Chris's return, as he transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] and helped Chris in his killing spree.

===Rosechu===
{{main|Rosechu|The Incredible Lioness}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 0-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime. She is the one of the few main characters to do almost nothing for the entire series, though she did once face rape [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

[[File:Sanek.png|left|thumb|150px]]

[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the Sonic the Hedgehog game ''{{w|Sonic Adventure}}''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of Sonichu in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

===Trainer Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

[[File:KelHallOfFame.jpg|thumb|left|Wait, when did Kel ever see Rosechu again?]]
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into Rosechu. Continued to take care of Rosechu until Sonichu took over as her new pimp. She then disappeared for a long time, but when [[Sean August Watley]] later used Trainer Kel as a central character in his own comic, Moon-Pals, Christian became [[Death threats|very upset]]. When Sean was executed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris bought back Kel as his executioner, where she got her revenge on Sean for him DARING to give her a personality and a starring role.

Most of Kel's backstory and what little personality she apparently had came through the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu. According to this article, by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]] at some point. This same article also claimed however, that she was kind, sweet, innocent and caring.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu]</ref> This in spite of the fact that she shot a man to death at point-blank range. Given the contradictions, it is safe to assume that this article is non-canon.

===David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[china]], and suggesting Kel have sex with him herself. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[Simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered "Daisy" to Rosechu for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}
[[File:082-ReldnahcNotsewNaitsirhc.jpg|thumb|100px|You can tell he's gay because he is shirtless. Straight men wear [[Muscle bra|bras]]!]]

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc is Christian's polar opposite, who was found and adopted by the [[Pokémon]] villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil(er) version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin.

Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Christian [[Rape|pins him down]] and forcibly injects him with the Gay Vaccine from the future, which destroys his medallion, makes him lose his powers and turns him into a "good guy". Because as we all know, [[Chris and reality|homosexuality makes you evil]]. He was then sent to [[Kel]].

===Zapdos===
{{main|Pokémon}}

An electric type Pokémon and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of Black Sonichu.

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|Chris did once explain what this line meant. It made no more sense afterward than before.]]
Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive African American man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

He attempts to arrest Chris for soliciting in the [[CWCville]] Mall, but is defeated by Christian's use of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form. Jerkhief pulls a gun on the attacking furmonster, but Christian hits him with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], causing him to lose his wife, children and home, and making the poor man break down in tears. Another victory for the forces of good!

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]]. They are supposedly brainwashed [[slow-in-the-minds]] and College students. In spite of this, Christian has [[Chris and death|no qualms in killing them]], and doesn't even mention the possibility of curing them until way later in the series. It has also been suggested that the Jerkops leaders (aside from Mary and [[Count Graduon]]) were under similar influence, which makes Christian's cruelty to Jerkhief even worse.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

[[File:Bc.PNG]]

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}
[[File:SchuGioRetard.jpg|thumb|right|The insidious Giovanni]]
The leader of Team Rocket and villain of the first generation [[Pokémon]] games, Giovanni is determined to capture [[Sonichu]] at any cost. He teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, as Sonichu unexpectedly got help in dealing with the kidnappers, rather than going in alone like a retard, as they expected him to do. However, he only got help from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] because he bumped into him on his way to the base. So Sonichu is still retarded, just lucky.

Later on, Giovanni seems to have reevaluated his goals, and now seeks to take over [[CWCville]] and kill Christian, as he joined forces with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and helped them out during their attack on the city in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Surprisingly, he seemed to want his son Reldnahc to rule the city, rather than wanting it for himself. This shows that at least Giovanni thinks of others sometimes rather than himself, which is more than can be said for our heroes.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|left|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; [[CWCville|Eggmanland]]. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching Pokémon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots (Including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots), countless personal mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. Despite having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle again Chris. Not even a single Badnik.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
[[File:Bill1.png|thumb|Dr. Bill Schwartz, the Scientist.]]
One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

It was for quite some time canon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, [[Moon-Pals]]. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

Bill makes his grand return in the new pages of [[Sonichu 11]] drawn in [[2015]], where he witnesses the body of [[Simonla Rosechu]] come back to life via the power of ''{{w|Deus Ex Machina|deus ex machina}}''.

===Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake===
{{main|Blake}}
[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg|thumb|left|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog|someone]]?]]

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic [[Piss|urine]]-and-[[feces]] color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|hermaphrodite]].

He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Although Black Sonichu was technically introduced in the following issue, he did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu strips, [[Love quest|stalking]] [[Rosechu]].

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic, Metal Sonichu is one of the few characters that even Chris will admit is a rip-off. Despite this, he has [[Alec]]'s derivative character Metal [[Asperchu]] refer to Chris as the "original creator", either implying that Chris wanted to claim Metal Sonichu as original all along, or he wanted to [[Chris and copyright|take credit for another one of Alec's characters]]. Sadly, though, he blames the villains for it. Much like the original Metal Sonic, it is a combat robot built by [[Doctor Robotnik]] (Later retconned into [[Ren Skysoar]]) for [[Giovanni]] in the image of Sonichu, with the intention of [[Jerkops|capturing]] or [[Chris and Death|killing]] its organic counterpart.

In fitting with its role as a killing machine, it had some unique weapons and capabilities which the original Sonichu did not have- these included laser/lightning cannon-like weapons built into both of its hands/forearms, an automated targeting system built into its HUD, levitation, high speed flight and air-dashing abilities provided by the booster engine in its body, a sharpened axe blade-like tail for deadlier mid-air spin attacks, and a lightweight yet incredibly resilient armor and chassis which was capable of resisting several attacks from both Sonic and Sonichu with little apparent damage. It appears to be powered by rechargeable batteries (Or at least has them as one of its potential energy sources), as seen in its picture with Ren Skysoar showing it plugged into a wall and recharging via an extension lead on its tail. It also matches and could theoretically exceed Sonichu's [[power]] and standard abilities, although this was not seen during its initial appearance.

Metal Sonichu is defeated in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] by Sonic and Sonichu after being hit by a combined attack which hurls it into space, eventually causing it to crash into the [[Moon]]; however, the robotic clone survives this attack, as evident by the sight of its eyes glowing in the darkness and a clawed metal hand rising out of a crater, resulting in a cliffhanger.

The fans speculated that Chris probably just forgot about the robotic clone and that it would never be heard of again, but after being constantly reminded about it in the [[Mailbag]], and after Sean used Metal Sonichu for Moon-Pals, Chris suddenly declared that Metal Sonichu would be returning at some point in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]. According to Chris, the deactivated Metal Sonichu would have been found on the Moon and used as a vessel for the recently-revived [[Count Graduon]] to return to Earth, and would become the new villain- mostly because he had already removed every other major villain from the comic permanently in preparation for [[Sonichu 10|an issue]] dedicated to murdering characters based on his IRL trolls, and afterwards, [[Chris and writing|left nothing for his characters to do anymore]] as a result of it.

It was eventually seen again twelve years later in ''Sonichu'' #12, where Graduon is seen possessing Metal Sonichu's disembodied head on the Moon; coaxing [[Naitsirhc]] back to his side and giving him his old Electric Hedgehog powers back, while indirectly working with Ren Skysoar to repair the rest of the duplicate's body and escape. The entire scene plays out like the climax of the ''[[Transformers]]'' episode [https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Ghost_in_the_Machine_(G1) "Ghost in the Machine",] with Metal Sonichu/Graduon in the role of Unicron (who also appears as a disembodied head after the destruction of his body), and Naitsirhc as Starscream. The latter even [[Things Chris has ripped off|remarks beforehand]] that Graduon looks like a [https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Headmaster_(technology) Headmaster] in his new form.
{{-}}
<center><gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg|A robotic copy of a [[Sonichu (character)|copy]], and it's still the more likeable of the two.
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg|In [[Animal Crossing]] card form.
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg|Yeah...
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] variation.
File:Ren_metal.jpg|With [[Ren Skysoar]].
File:SchuComic12-1P45.jpg |Count Graduon in Metal Sonichu's form, from [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12...]]
File:SchuComic12-1P48.jpg |...and again.
</gallery></center>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s on-again off-again love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the powerful ZERO (E-100 Alpha) robot and re-united a separated family of birds, or in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is [[Women's rights|just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any Rosechu]]. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit. Interestingly, the page shows how much Chris ended up copying her design for Rosechu.

Chris later introduced two new pages to Sonichu #1 in [[October 2015]] revealing that both she and Sonic were simply disguises utilized by [[Silvana]]'s shapeshifting ability. Whether this becomes more integrated in other issues of the series is yet to be seen.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

A woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

The ''Sonichu'' version of Hanna is apparently an agent of PVCC, and the only troll in the entire comic to not be a cartoonishly evil-looking miscreant, probably due to being a woman.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli|Wasabi Rival}}

[[File:Wes Iseli.jpg|thumb|left|In his Wes-Li Sonichu form.]]
Sarah Hammer's IRL boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee.

When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as assisting in the attack on CWCville during [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer|Queen of the Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].]]

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furry just like himself.

As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone. Sarah then got married to another man, rejecting Chris yet again, and she left the city of CWCville entirely. She did cameo once more, though, in [[Sonichu Special 2]], where she dressed in drag and attended the ceremony of Christian's ill-fated marriage to [[Ivy]], acting as his best man.

===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===
[[File:Keeper.PNG|thumb|Is he old or just a kid with a beard?]]
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

[[Image:MaryLeeWalshSonicStyle.jpg|thumb|left|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as a tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. [[Chris and writing|At no point is any information about her motivation for this provided by anybody]].

Mary Lee Walsh first appeared in the comics in [[Issue 2]], but a preview of her design was shown in [[Issue 0]], and she had been mentioned in both [[sub-episodes]] that had been in previous comics. In her first full appearance, she was wielding the staff of [[Count Graduon]], and directing the Golem attacking [[CWCville]]. This is thought to be her canonical first appearance as well, and it is believed that the subepisodes all take place after [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], since the very first sub-episode features Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Throughout the comics, she did nothing but throw wave after wave of [[Jerkops]], [[Manajerks]] and other PVCC agents at Chris. Occasionally she'd help out herself, and sometimes she'd just kick back and let her robots handle it. She captured [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] in the Dark Mirror Hole at one point, but it had very little lasting consequence. Christian later confronted her as Hobo-Chan in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. There, she let Chris destroy Graduon's staff and she surrendered. Not content, Christian attacked her with two large swords. It ended with her being paralyzed for life and put in prison.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

[[Image:Count Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the most [[Pickle|phallic]] villain in the ''Sonichu'' series.]]
The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his tranny rape weapon against the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. He appeared to be destroyed after [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|GodMode!Chris]] smashes his staff in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but Chris has stated that he would bring Graduon back in a later issue, during which he would have found and possessed the deactivated Metal Sonichu on the [[Moon]], again returning to Earth as the main villain. From late-[[2015]] onwards, Chris has gradually began to place more emphasis on Graduon, creating a new design to show his true physical form, and also devising a Mii [[Super Smash Bros. Videos|that he then featured in several videos]] involving him fighting Walsh.

===Golem===
A weapon used by [[Count Graduon]] after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2, where it originally appeared as a boss controlled by Eggman.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. They would form the central cast of ''Sonichu'' for the rest of the comic, outranking even the original Sonichu in the CWCville hierarchy.

===Wild Sonichu===
{{main|Wild Sonichu}}
[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|left|Wild Sonichu, advising his one year old daughter on how best to [[Sonichu 10|mutilate a man.]]]]

The green recolor and a sort of leader to the group. Wild also partially rips off Spider-Man. He was apparently raised by a clan of weird ninja Scythers and a Venusaur. Once his father was kidnapped, he forgot all about him.

Later in life he became another member of the Great Director's private army and he served as another footsoldier in the many battles against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and PVCC. During the middle of all this dumbfuckery, he attended a Dating Education class and got paired up with a mindless twit named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. Simonla was later killed, but fortunately for Wild, the [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]] which resulted from all sex he had with her [[Chris and art#Originality|looked almost exactly like Simonla in every single way]].

===Bubbles Rosechu===
{{main|Bubbles Rosechu}}
[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg|thumb|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.

===Angelica Rosechu===
{{main|Angelica}}
[[Image:271-Angelica.jpg|thumb|left|Angelica, the embodiment of the Antichrist.]]

A white recolor. Angelica Rosechu was made to be a religious type, specifically a Catholic. Her backstory explains that she was taken in by a convent of nuns, who raised her to be a devout member of the Faith and named her Angelica after her resemblance to the biblical angels - despite this, Angelica grew up to be a filthy whore and a violent mercenary of [[CWCville]]. She evolved one night in her sleep. Chris, who somehow knew exactly where she was and when she would evolve, broke into her house to give her shoes and a scrunchie, which he left on her bed for her to find when she woke up.

Despite being billed as a pacifist and a peacemaker, she later became heavily entrenched in Christian's war against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]], and may very well have killed several people in the battle. This is pure speculation however. What isn't speculation though, was that she did, in fact, ''personally execute'' [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] - after reading him the last rites of course, [[Chris and religion|which Catholic laymen are not permitted to do]]. She charitably remarked 'May God have mercy' while doing so. This may indicate that on some level she knows that what she is doing is wrong, but it's likely that she was referring to Alec, because like Chris, she also has a huge [[ego]], and genuinely believes that people should be killed for making [[parody]] webcomics. Like Bubbles, she is also a slut. She put out for Reginald Sneasel on the first date and she has been known to [[Media:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|do things in church that would make Jesus himself cry.]]

===Punchy Sonichu===
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}

[[Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy, the Asian one.]]
The red one, Punchy is not even a recolour; he's just Knuckles the Echidna who is already red. The only difference between them is that Punchy is far more retarded and has racist looking slanty eyes.

Punchy was born in a dojo somewhere after his egg crash landed there. Immediately after hatching, he was challenged to a sparring match by the dojo owner's daughter and student, Mypoe, who [[Dragon Ball Z|ripped off his tail since it was a weakness]]. He then punched her through the roof to her presumed death. [[Excel Saga|G.D.W. Shinabe]], delighted at the murder of his daughter, decides to teach Punchy martial arts. This training was wasted on Punchy however, who just ended up using [[pokémon]] attacks for the rest of his life. Punchy later got caught up with the rest of the gang, and formed the Chaotic Combo with them. Shortly afterward, his master died under mysterious circumstances and he apparently inherited the dojo. Punchy then spent the rest of ''Sonichu'' fighting Jerkops and related enemies. He got a break from the routine in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where he took the [[Dating Education]] courses to try and learn how best to hook up with Angelica. As it turned out, Angelica would have been easy, but due to circumstances, Punchy ended up with another whore named Layla Flaaffy. Since [[Women's rights|all women are the same in Sonichu]], Punchy just rolled with it and had sex with her anyway. He later also participated in the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] executions.

===Magi-Chan Sonichu===
{{main|Magi-Chan}}
[[Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|thumb|left|When you turn your back, he's going to stab you.]]

The purple recolor. Magi-Chan was born in a mysterious cave where, upon hatching, he was contacted by the Pokémon Mewtwo, who trained him with his powers. Upon evolving into Magi-Chan, he promptly let out a fart. His training complete, Mewtwo left him and Magi-Chan would go on join the Chaotic Combo. Despite his awesome powers, Wild Sonichu was chosen over Magi-Chan as leader of the Chaotic Combo. It would be Magi-Chan who would serve as the means to locate the Sonichu Balls from their locations, accidentally causing Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]]. He would also fight Silvana from time to time as he attempted to save her from Graduon. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he frees Chris from the Time Void, goes into the future to bring the cure for homosexuality back to the present, but starts suffering due to that, yammering something about a crisis only Chris could avoid, failing to find a man high off his ass and failing to stop Evan and Simonchu from killing Simonla.

=== Sonee and Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}}

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], who appear on the first page of [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. Technically, baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu could never exist since they were created directly from a Pikachu and Raichu respectively, but that didn't stop Chris from creating them. They never made a canon appearance, but Chris recycled the designs for [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

===Scyther===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu. [[Chris and art|We think]].]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild told Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a failure to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

===Venusaur===
{{main|Pokémon}}
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.

===Swampert===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to an end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Boulder Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and seeming murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
[[Image:Wailord.png|200px|thumb|An actual Wailord.]]
Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica, they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from. Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, ''and'' they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
[[Image:Shinabe.jpg|thumb|left|Let it never be said Chris has no respect for [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]. He at least advertises the stuff he rips off.]]
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris's many horrible ''[[Excel Saga]]'' references. The anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', a follow-up project to ''Excel Saga''.

In ''Sonichu'', Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for ''Great Director Watanabe'', a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.

If Christian's "Sonichu" article on [[CWCipedia]] is to be taken as canon, then Shinabe was murdered by an ex-student seeking revenge for some reason ''during the middle of Punchy giving Chris a tour of the dojo''.

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in ''Sonichu'']]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of ''Puni Puni Poemy'', depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. Despite this, Chris claims that the two characters are not related.<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.284:11_to_6:01.29</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]]. She has a special place in their hearts due to being the only character that tried to put a Sonee out of its miserable existence shortly after birth.

=== Mewtwo ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

[[Image:Mewtwo.PNG|thumb|left|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris's idiocy.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers.

Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this though, much like all of the other sideplots [[Chris and his Ego|not involving him]], it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokémon team. Since in Pokémon lore there is only one Mewtwo, it can be assumed that this is the same one.

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Flame, who seems to be in dire need of pants, is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokémon, yet he readily uses Pokémon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Black Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

[[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|100px|Black Manajerk, the badass.]]
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]], kitted out with a suit of golden armour. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]]. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention after Chris was sucked into the [[Time Void]].

[[Chris and race|And yes, the 'B' in B-Manajerk does stand for Black]].

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], Merried Seinor Comic, also known as Kirby, is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonald's in which Chris was loitering that day. In ''Sonichu'', he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, Darkbind Sonichu arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.

===Wal-Mart Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Truly an inspiration to us all.]]
The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, W-M-Manajerk confronts Chris shortly after B-Manajerk and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.

Particularly worrying was that according to dialogue, Chris and Crystal were surprised to learn he could survive in just his head form after they removed it from his body, implying that they had intended to murder the helpless man.

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|right|Dear Lord, he's even [[gay]]er than [[Magi-Chan]]!]]
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the Manajerks at the Mal-Wart region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]]. He finally achieves this in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and then starts crying.

===Mecha-Jerkops===
{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the Manajerks to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops. One wonders what the point was when actual Jerkops are far more capable and numerous.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
===Crystal Weston Chandler===
{{main|Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)}}

Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris with the exception of being a female, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she can become a Rosechu – Crystalina Rosechu – through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought. Chris makes [[Chris and sex#Incest|numerous remarks about her beauty]].

=== Snorlax ===
{{main|Pokémon}}

A [[Snorlax]] who briefly appeared in Christian's 'Backyard Safari' [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops]].

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

=== ScotPalazzo ===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

ScotPalazzo is the [[Manajerk]] of Fa-Square, from the Sho-Mall Region. He is based on the manager who called the [[Jerkhief]] on Chris in real life, though he did not appear in ''Sonichu'' until Sub-Episode 6, where he for some reason became jealous that Chris had his own TV show; CWC's Backyard Safari. He decided once he was done watching it to order more Jerkops after Chris, since he was once again persisting to [[Love Quest|solicit sex in a public place]] and was still [[Story of my current days|resisting arrest]]. Or at least, that would be the [[Honest|truthful]] reason. In ''Sonichu'', however, it's because he hates love, since it caused his mother's murder suicide somehow. It's likely that the real ScotPalazzo's mother did no such thing, but Chris for some reason thinks that [[Trolls|anyone who dislikes him]] at all must have terrible and tragic lives, since [[Chris and his ego|only people with no life could ever possibly hate Chris]]! That said, ScotPalazzo is probably the only villain in Sonichu, at least until [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to have any kind of motivation, so no one's complaining. ScotPalazzo also attended Mary's villain convention after Chris was lost to the [[Time Void]].

=== Turdijerk ===
{{main|Turdijerk}}

Turdijerk is the Manajerk of the [[Get-Tar]] region. He appears in Sub-Episode 7, where he tells Chris to get out of his store because he is loitering on private property again and scaring off his customers. Unlike with previous cases where he has provoked Manajerks into a fight, this time Chris just attacked them outright after they asked him to leave. Not caring for being assaulted by loitering manchildren, Turdijerk calls [[Bagget|Marcus Bagget]] to come and deal with the potentially dangerous Chris before he attacks any more of his employees. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention.

=== Trebor Capman ===
{{main|Trebor Capman}}

Turdijerk's assistant and the second victim of Christian's unwarranted attack on the store manager. It can be assumed that his real name is Robert, given Chris's legendary love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]]. He was also present at the villain convention with his boss Turdijerk.

=== Marcus Bagget ===
{{main|Bagget}}
Yet another one of Chris's [[Sub-Episode]] characters of the week, '''Bagget''' (later ret-conned to '''Dagget''') is the leader of a group of [[Jerkop]]s in the [[Get-Tar Region]]. His efforts are supplemented by [[Crackder]] and a [[Jerkhief]]. Bagget and the Jerkops arrive shortly after Trebor Capman and Turdijerk attempt to make Chris leave a Target he had singled out as an [[Attraction Location]], but Chris refused to go. Thus, Bagget fought Chris personally using his sword, but the battle was fought to a standstill with Chris transforming into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], forcing Bagget to call in his Jerkop squad for assistance. After the Jerkhief gave Chris a wicked carpet burn and 'hog-timed' him, Bagget ordered Crackder to take the now-restrained manchild to [[PVCC]].

Unusually, Bagget never gets any form of punishment from Chris as a result of this, and disappears from the comic, only reappearing as a cameo among the council of enemies at PVCC in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]. It is unknown exactly what role he played in the battle between Chris and the Chaotic Combo vs. PVCC.

Ironically, the real '''Marcus Bagett''' that Bagget is based on has received multiple awards for his heroism.

=== Crackder ===
{{main|Crackder}}

{{Incomplete}}

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===William Spicer===
The husband of Sarah Hammer. Because Chris had no clue as to what William actually looked like, Chris depicted him as a Jack's Knight, a card from the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card game franchise.

===Megan Schroeder (Meg-Chan)/Sailor Megtune===
{{main|Megan Schroeder|Sailor Megtune}}
Chris's second love interest. Based off of the actual Megan Schroeder, she moonlights as a Sailor Senshi, devoted to aiding Chris whenever he can't get off his own fat rear to do so. Despite having a very central role when she first appears, she is quickly erased from the series after her real-life counterpart gives Chris the boot in the aftermath of his ED discovery.

===Megagi La Skunk===
{{main|Megagi La Skunk}}
Megan's skunk companion. Starting out as a butch, tomboyish character with more personality than the rest of the Rosechus, her distinct nature rapidly corrodes as she gains a boyfriend in Bionic, devolving into a bland feminine cheerleader by Issue 9.

===Harriet, Joseph, Julia, Nick===
Couples harassed by Jerkops.

===Jamsta Sonichu===
{{main|Jamsta Sonichu}}

DJ for KCWC and one of the few Sonichus shown that weren't created by the Chaotic Rainbow. He has no obvious powers and speaks in outdated slang. Interestingly, Jamsta's the actual ORIGINAL Sonichu, yet he wasn't discovered and named until later, giving Sonichu all the credit.

===CWCVille Constable===
One of the few non-Jerkops in CWCVille.

===CADD Chef (alias Keneru-Meneth)===
{{main|CADD Chef}}

Another one of Slaweel's minions who does nothing but complain about building designs. The character is based off of Chris's Computer-Aided Drafting and Design and the ''South Park'' character Chef. Why Chris chose to combine these two concepts is known only to him.

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==

===Patti-Chan===
{{Main|Patti Chandler|Patti-Chan}}

Chris's beloved dog. Following her real-life death, in the comics, a combination of eating a four-leaf clover and moonbeams transformed Patti into Patti-Chan. Realizing what had happened, Chris brought his dog to CWCVille so it can live on forever. She uses her magic to protect the Mayor's office in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], then kills Alec in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] because "she's not a zombie."

===Allison Amber===
{{main|Allison Amber}}

Chris's mayoral secretary. Once a prominent Hollywood star, she bafflingly gave up the fame and fortune to work in the CWCVille Mayor's office. She essentially performs the entirety of the mayoral work in lieu of Chris while he traipses around murdering people and finding true love. When Chris became trapped in the Time Void, it was indicated that she had overtaken all of his duties until his return - presumably this made very little difference to Allison's schedule. In ''Sonichu'' #10, she rather harshly kills Sean for his promiscuous depiction of her in ''Moon-Pals''.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of teenager-aimed Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the "inspiration" of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Zelina Rosechu===
{{main|Zelina Rosechu}}

Darkbind Sonichu's love interest. She is put under a spell through the locked power of the Sonichu Crystals prior to the start of the series. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], she is awakened to much fanfare and is unsurprisingly revealed to be as unimportant and devoid of personality as all the other Rosechus.

===Clawdorf===
{{main|Clawdorf}}

Darkbind Sonichu's deadly foe. After putting Zelina into a deep sleep, he is accidentally [[Yawning Squirtle|turned into stone]] and left in a cave. He is presumed freed by Ultra Sonichu.

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Bionic the Hedgehog}}

Chris's first creation before Sonichu came into play. Thought up of after getting smacked with a Sonichu Crystal (later altered to be a basketball), Bionic became Chris's first creation. He would go into obscurity until Naitsirhc arrived on the scene, knocking out the villain with a basketball. He would soon fall in love with Megagi and go and aid Chris in his adventures, culminating in Bionic electrocuting Alec.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical ''[[Family Guy]]'' style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate representation of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

===Skelevision and Ghost Buggy===
{{main|Ghostbusters}}

Items used by the Filmation Ghostbusters in their adventures. Sammy busts through them in his "Family Guy Skitch" in his confused state.

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}

One of Chris's old classmates and one of his old high school crushes. She appears in Episode 15, discovering Chris's nude picks and is revealed to have warned Rosechu in Episode 17. Interestingly, she is one of the few who ''doesn't'' get a retconned name change.

===Bender Bending Rodriguez===
{{main|Futurama}}

A lazy self-absorbed robot who gets his kicks off of robbing people, getting drunk and all around being lazy, especially with his friend Philip J. Fry. Doesn't ''that'' sound like someone we know. Bender is seen spiraling through the time stream as Chris, Sonichu and Magi-Chan travel on.

===Joseph Herring===
{{main|Joseph Herring}}

One of the many people affected by Slaweel's attacks, this pimply faced man, later renamed Joe Herr, is seen lamenting about the loss of his girlfriend. The character is based off of a man by the same name who actually looked pretty decent.

===Beavis and Butt-Head===
{{main|Beavis and Butt-head}}

MTV's legendary icons for all things 1990, Beavis and Butt-Head were two idiotic teens who got their kicks through destruction, pervert antics and all around being complete and utter idiots. And America ''mostly'' loved them. They show up in Episode 16 slamming a locker door, mimicking a scene from one of their shorts.

===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]

Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform mentally retarded people into new Jerkops. From this it can be inferred that any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Breasted Jerkops would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

===Jason Kendrick Howell===
{{main|Jason Kendrick Howell}}

The head of 4-cent_garbage, Jason Kendrick Howell is the bald-headed, eye-patch wearing cause of Chris's torment in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Based off of the person by the same name whom Chris believes put up the Chris-Chan ED page, Jason is shown as apathetic to Sonichu's pleas before he launches a pickle at Rosechu, causing her to transform into the [[Incredible Lioness]] and face rape him. He would return in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only to decide he was going to retire from trolling Chris because tormenting him is WRONG.

===Kathleen===
{{main|Kathleen}}

Kathleen is Jason's "woman slave", seen wearing an odd BDSM outfit and in a crawling position. She stays ever faithful by Jason's side throughout the whole thing. She is based off the woman by the same name, who was Jason's girlfriend at the time.

===Blanca===
{{main|Blanca}}

The first of many troll gal-pals to appear in the comics. Blanca was the creator of Jiggliami and was present at the interview with Jamsta. In issue 8, however, it's revealed that she went back to Kentucky to be with her boyfriend.

===Jiggliami===
{{main|Jiggliami}}

Blanca's creation, an odd fusion of Amy Rose and a Jigglypuff. She is a songstress who's seeking to become popular. She appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] with an interview with Jamsta and in a Spring Break concert in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], helping the Chaotic Combo before inexplicably disappearing forever.

===Lolisa Rosechu===
{{main|Lolisa Rosechu}}

Jamsta's assistant on his radio show. Oddly, she is also the oldest Rosechu of the bunch, but because this is Chris's comic, she is conveniently shoved aside so that Rosechu is the first, thus named after her.

===Robert Simmons V===
{{main|Robert Simmons V}}

Another troll who made his way into the comic as a major fan of the comics. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he appears at Jiggliami's interview. However, after Chris learned the truth of the man, he retconned it in his [[Videobooks]] by saying he was arrested for getting too close to Chris.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

===Lovey and Thurston Howell III===
{{main|Lovey Howell|Thurston Howell III}}
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

===Beel===
{{main|Beel}}

The secretary at 4-cent_garbage, he is a devil-like creature with the [[homos|gayest]] jean shorts ever. He shows up briefly in Episode 17, but is more prominently shown in Episode 21, stealing Chris's medallion, before having it teleported away, then blasted to kingdom come. He returns just in time to berate Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus over their trolling of Chris (comparing it to working with Adolf Hitler) before disappearing.

===4-cent_garbage.com employees===
{{main|4-cent_garbage}}

The workers of 4-cent_garbage building. Chris reappears to briefly sock one of them in the face. In Episode 21, Chris returns fully and destroys the building, killing about a hundred of the employees.

===George W. Bush===
{{main|George W. Bush}}

42nd President of the United States and son of the 40th President, George H. W. Bush, he saw his highs of popularity from the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 attacks]] plummet after he initiated the War in Iraq. He is depicted in the elevator gag tipping over his successor off his ladder.

===Barack Obama===
{{main|Barack Obama}}

43rd President of the United States and first [[niggo|African-American president]]. Obama is depicted in the elevator gag attempting to paint the White House black, but is stopped by Bush.

===John McCain===
{{main|John McCain}}

Obama's opponent in the 2008 elections and former US Senator. He yells at Obama for painting the White House black.

===Hilary Clinton===
{{main|Hillary Clinton}}

New York Senator, former First Lady to 41st President Bill Clinton and one of five potential candidates in the Democratic nominee for President. She's present as Obama paints the White House.

===Sarah Palin===
{{main|Sarah Palin}}

Former Alaskan governor, John McCain's running mate and all-around gullible bag of bricks. This "bulldog with lipstick" was present as Obama painted the White House.

===Simonla Rosechu===
{{main|Simonla Rosechu}}

Wild Sonichu's fuck toy, Simonla Rosechu is the unholy monstrosity created when Chris took Simonchu Sonichu, a creation by [[Evan]] (who in turned based it off of Simon the Digger of ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'') and gave it breasts and china. Simonla first appears when she joins the other Rosechus in "stripping for [[Women's Rights]], introducing her friend Zapina. She's later paired up with Wild in Dating Education before aiding said Sonichu in defending CWCVille from Slaweel's attack. However, Simonla would meet her demise by a Voltorb blowing itself up, killing her ''on the toilet''.

===Zapina Rosechu===
{{main|Zapina Rosechu}}

A young (under-age) Rosechu who's friends with Simonla. She first appears trying to join some of the other Rosechus in stripping publicly for Women's Rights, but Rosechu shoots down that idea because of the "dumb" child pornography laws. She is later seen defending CWCVille from Slaweel and her minions.

===Greta Squall===
[[File:Greta.PNG|thumb|There are blind five-year-olds who can draw better human figures. With their feet.]]
News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News", obviously a parody of Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren. Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.

===Silvana Rosechu===
{{main|Silvana Rosechu}}

Another missing Rosechu, she was found on [[The Motherfucking Moon]] by Count Graduon and turned evil, giving her shapeshifting powers and a [[duck|penis]]. She appears in Episode 18, fucking Blake disguised as Bubbles before being driven off. She appears again in Episode 20, fighting Magi-Chan and appears one last time, disguising herself as a malformed Meg Griffin. According to Chris, Silvana would lose her powers and her dick when Graduon's staff was shattered and she would soon fall in love with Magi-Chan.

===Yawning Squirtle===
{{main|Yawning Squirtle}}

A Squirtle that is seen yawning and given a very stoned look. Many trolls took it that the Squirtle was actually high off of weed and ran with it. In retaliation, Chris mentioned that this Squirtle was actually an old friend of Bubbles and that it was also captured and not shot to the moon.

===Sea Pokémon===

Comprised of [[Mudkips]], [[Seadra]], [[Goldeen]], [[Staryu]], [[Corsola]], [[Octillery]], [[Mantine]], and [[Corphish]]. Note that Mudkip are found in swamps, not the ocean.

===Optimus Prime===
{{main|Optimus Prime}}

Supreme Commander of the Autobots and hero of the Transformers franchise. He is considered to be one of Chris's idols. However, he is depicted in Issue 8 as a grand hero (or a murderer, however you want to look at it), killing Decepticon spy Sarah Jackson.

===Sarah Jackson===
{{main|Sarah Jackson}}

One of Chris's sweethearts and Decepticon spy. She is given a memorial by depicting the heroic Optimus Prime running down her truck in his truck form.

===Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (aka Panda Halo)===
{{main|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda Halo}}

The third of Chris's gal-pals. She is given a shout out in Issue 8, only to be depicted dying in an a fire in Issue 9, mirroring her real-life "demise" which Chris concocted with no impetus.

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==

===Sarah Jackaras===

Sarah Jackson's second comic persona. She is depicted as a teacher for Chris's demented Dating Education class. At the end of the episode, her sister nonchalantly announces her death before handing out test scores.

===George Philip===
A kid in Dating Education. He resembles Kenny from ''[[South Park]]''. He was matched up with Ivy, but got screwed because Ivy was holding out for Chris.

===Layla Flaaffy===
{{main|Layla Flaaffy}}

Ivy's companion, who does not even vaguely resemble a Flaaffy. She ends up hooking up with Punchy in Episode 19 and is shown one last time blasting away a bunch of Jerkops with a Thunder attack in Episode 20.

===Ivy===
{{main|Ivy}}

The last of the real-life sweethearts to show up in the ''Sonichu'' comics (excluding the specials) thus far. She ends up having a vision where God and Jesus tell her that she is to be Chris's one true love. Irrespective of this, she is strangled by elevator wire in Episode 20.

===Reginald Sneasel===
{{main|Reginald Sneasel}}

Chris's Mary Sue character that fills in for him while he is still trapped in the Time Void. He despises [[Niggo|darkies]] and attempts to break up Punchy and Layla only for Angelica to feel sorry for him and be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].

===God/Jesus===
{{main|God/Jesus}}

Our Creator and our Lord and Savior. They appear in a vision to let Ivy know that she and Chris were meant to be. However, since Ivy dies in the next episode, it's hard not to imagine they were trolling the two in the process.

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|Florance Fisher]]

One of the few [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil, although she is extremely peripheral. She is rejected by Reginald Sneasel, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

===Rita Jackaras===

Sarah's sister. She replaces Sarah after offhandedly revealing she died somehow during the students' lunch break, then begins handing out test scores. Judging by her [[Speech impediment|odd speech patterns]], she may be [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]].

===Other students===

Comprised of:
*Amy Testa
*Clem Jennings
*Geraldine Beglan
*Fred Shiflet
*Emily Ryan
*Unnamed computer-lab attendant
*Clyde Raymond Cwash- Scored the lowest on the dating test. An obvious stab at [[Clyde Cash]], even though in real life<ref>Or at least in what Chris [[Chris and reality|believes is real life]]</ref> he not only succeeded in two tasks Chris has so far failed - [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo|getting married and having a child]] - but also achieved those goals using [[Chris and sex#Rape|extremely Chris-like methods]].

===Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels===
{{main|Scoundrals As Vessels}}

Evil PVCC Decepticons, they're mass produced and act as heavy-duty attackers. Repaint of Swindle from ''Transformers Animated''

===Samurai Pizza Bots===
{{main|Samurai Pizza Bots}}

CWCVille's main machine protectors and obvious Autobot rejects. This team is comprised of:
*[[Prower]] - Punchy's motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from ''Transformers Animated''
*[[Son-Chu]] - a depiction of Chris's real-life car with a "SONICHU" vanity plate
*[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from ''Transformers Animated''. Also a pizza delivery car.
*[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from ''Revenge of the Fallen''.
*[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from ''Transformers Animated''. Even has a guitar as a weapon.

===Blazebob Sonichu and Chloe Rosechu===
{{main|Blazebob Sonichu|Chloe Rosechu}}

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]].<ref>From the CWCipedia "Sonichu" page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."''</ref> They are saved by Panda before her gruesome death and start bawling at her death before a firefighter tells them to move their asses.

===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The ''Sonichu'' variation of Liquid Chris. This ground-type Sonichu is easily curb-stomped by Sonichu before he can really get the chance to attack. It's said that Liquid's medallion was made out of paper.

===Cerah, Christine, and Robbie===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Children}}

The demonic spawn of Sonichu and Rosechu. Robbie is known for his screechy voice and [[speech impediment]], Christine is known for being [[Chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] and "shiny" (read: not really Sonichu's), and Cerah is known for absolutely nothing at all. All are equally abominable in the eyes of the Lord. These three simply show up at the end of the comic with only one extremely minor mention prior to then, and their births have never been shown. It is extremely likely that these three were created in response to trolls pointing out that Sonichu and Rosechu were having premarital underage sex. They feature all too heavily subsequent to their sudden introduction.

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==

===Bugs Bunny===
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

===Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez===
[[Image:geraldandlouie.JPG|thumb|Constables Gerald (left) and Louis, with firm friend Sonichu.]]

Two of [[CWCville]]'s policemen (true blue, not [[Jerkops]]) who show up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]]. Despite this being their first appearance, they are shown as good friends of [[Sonichu]].

Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]].

Louis is the [[Chris and Race#Black_people|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.

===The Asperpedia Four===
[[Image:Maoalecevansean.jpg|thumb|The Asperpedia Four on trial. (Clockwise from the top: Mao, Alec, Evan, Sean.)]]

The main users of the Asperpedia. They are arrested and executed by Chris and the others for their roles in the death of Simonla. The four are:

*[[Alec Benson Leary]] - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly." Is electrocuted by Chris and the Chaotic Combo.
*[[Evan]] - Simonchu's creator. Is castrated and drilled to death by Sandy and Wild.
*[[Sean August Watley]] - Creator of Moon-Pals. Is shot to death by Allison, Bill the Scientist, and Kel.
*[[Asperpedia|Mao]] - Asperpedia admin. Is [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|broken]] and killed by Chris.

Chris would, in an attempt to appear like a less psychotic human being, make a new ending for Sonichu 10, wherein the four are condemned to live in a Amish community for the rest of their lives, which results in them becoming a bunch of [[slow-in-the-minds]] who spew [[random-access humor]].

===Sackboy===
{{main|Little Big Planet}}

The mascot and main character of the ''Little Big Planet'' game franchise. He appears in issue 10 to tell readers not to buy unauthorized copies of ''LBP'' for the [[Hex Box]].

===Jimmy Hill===
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

Famed former soccer player turned commentator who was used as part of a trolling scheme against Chris. He is depicted in Issue 10 getting his teeth knocked out by Chris-Chan Sonichu's Hyper Beam before being scolded by Bugs Bunny.

===Clyde Cash===
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

Infamous troll who helped inspire many others. In actuality, Clyde's first appearance was in ''[[Sonichu Special 1]]'', capturing Ivy and trying to kill both Chris and Ivy when they escape. In issue 10, he's depicted as a panicking man as the 4-cent_garbage building began falling. Unwilling to let Chris kill him, he takes the hand of his lover, Jack Thaddeus, and leap to his death.

===Jack Thaddeus===
{{main|Jack Thaddeus}}

Person who owned the ads at the CWCkipedia and forced Chris to hump his [[PS3|Life Upgrade]]. He is depicted as another panicking man in the 4-cent_garbage building. He joins his lover, Clyde Cash, in leaping to their deaths, unwilling to let Chris have his victory.

===Meg Griffin===
{{main|Meg Griffin}}

Middle child of the fictional Griffin family, usually depicted as being ignored and ridiculed by her family and just about everyone else. In Issue 10, she was a disguise by Silvana, who appeared, told Chris how awesome he was, shared a kiss with him, then disappeared. Worst troll ever.

===Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu===
{{main|Asperchu}}

Star of Alec Benson Leary's comic of the same name. When Ultra Sonichu appears, he takes away his personality and Asperger's and transforms him into Mitch Sonichu (and Chris expected Alec to follow suit).

===Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)===
{{main|Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)}}

Formerly the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, Wild and Magi-Chan. Ultra Sonichu appears and removes their "Asperger's" (despite none of them actually having the condition) and gives them new identities of Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu.

===Metal Asperchu===

A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.

===Basement Rosechus===
{{main|Basement Rosechus}}

A group of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris was implying that they were raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

===Inos===
{{main|Inos}}

A homeless man discovered by Ultra Sonichu. To his horror, Inos is discovered with a five year cold and under the influence of weed. Ultra Sonichu steals his weed away then has the police slap his wrist. He later reappears during the Christmas special to compliment [[Blake]] and wish him a Happy Kwanzaa, but Blake responds with anger and some subdued [[racism]]. Blake attempts to attack Inos, but [[Bubbles]] tells him to 'stand down'.

===Simonchu===
{{main|Simonchu}}
[[File:SimonlaSimonchuHaiti.JPG|150px|thumb|right|Simonchu (right) and [[Simonla Rosechu|his infringed counterpart]].]]
The main hero of [[Evan]]'s Simonchu comics and Wild's lover in Asperchu. He attempts to kill his evil clone Simonla, but is stopped by Magi-Chan.
{{-}}

===Toilet Exploding Voltorb===
[[Image:Toiletexplodingvoltorb.png|thumb|Simonla's killer.]]

The Pokémon that kills Simonla with Self-Destruct.

===Sandy Rosechu===
{{main|Sandy Rosechu}}

The bastard child of Wild and Simonla. She is forced to be evolved by Wild and is trained by different Pokémon just so she can ''tear Evan's genitals out''.

===Judge Slack Lewis===

The judge presiding the case of the Asperpedia Four. He has an obvious bias towards Chris and allows everything that goes on. He may or may not be a rip-off of {{w|Lewis Black}}, a comedian who would likely rage at Chris and the comic.

===Marvey Blaziken===

A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the law|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

===Spiny Norman===

An actual hedgehog, Chris shoehorned in an incredibly minor reference to an early ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' sketch on the page calling out [[Jimmy Hill]], presumably because Chris' only exposure to the British seems to be from TV shows.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==
===Kevin===
{{main|Kevin the Jew}}

An unseen friend of [[Cerah Rosey]]. Since he's Jewish, Cerah bakes him as a gift a candle-shaped cookie for Hanukkah, due to the candle-related symbolism in this holiday's rituals, despite the fact that a biscuit of any shape would have been accepted for such a celebration. Cerah also makes the flavor vanilla, just in case poor Kevin had any nut/chocolate allergies. Instead of simply asking if he's allergic, she just assumes it.<ref>[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], p. [:image:SchuComic11P4.jpg|4].</ref> Because Jews are sickly Melvins with many allergies, you see. He later appears for the first time in a visual role in ''Sonichu'' #11's adaptation of ''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]'', and heavily resembles a character from ''Peanuts''.

==[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]==
===Vulva Pie===
{{main|Jackie}}

A pink cat who was Jackie's OC. In the comic, she was Robbie/Roberta's former classmate and girlfriend. Their relationship ended after [[Jackie|her mother]] whisked her away.

===Jackie===

Though not directly named, she is the mother of Vulva Pie who took her daughter to somewhere else to spite Chris and Robbie/Roberta.

===Mimi===

Originally a character from a [[Commissions#The_Flufflehugs_Commissions|commission]], she was another girlfriend that Robbie/Robert once dated.

===Danny Steckle===
{{main|DStecks}}

A character obviously based on a man who donated Chris $1000. He was thanked by Angelina in the Cwcville Pride Festival for his generous donations to the town's soup motels.

===Russel Sonee and Cynthia Rosey===
In Facebook post from 21 May 2015, Chris describes how Chris-chan Sonichu's form has turned into a female one. While still being in his Chris-chan Sonichu form, Chris inseminates himself with a sample of his semen that he produced while still in his human form. Two weeks he laid two eggs, and three weeks afterwards a Sonee and Rosey hatched from them. Chris named the Sonee Russel and the Rosey Cynthia. They both respectively developed into a Sonichu and Rosechu later on, with Russel developing an interest in Britain and English culture and Cynthia developing an interest in her Cherokee roots and becoming a naturist. According to Chris they have no birth defects, not even their parent's autism.<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> After two years of being mentioned but not appearing in the comic, they debut as a cameo at the Pride Festival.

===Cole Smithey===
{{main|Cole Smithey}}
Chris's half-brother appears as a brainwashed [[jerkop]] who attempted to ambush Chris, only to hit an illusionary double. He was then knocked out cold by Chris and sent to a pocket dimension.

==[[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]]==

===Night Star===
{{main|Night Star}}

Chris's psychic-type ponysona and the main protagonist of the issue. She was born on the same day as Chris and shares his heterochromia. Like the Mary Sue she is, she has immense psychic powers and the ability to transform into a Sonichu form to fight evil. She also has the ability to create portals, which she uses liberally in almost any given situation.

===Sugar Darling and Gallop Crush===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}} {{main|Bob Chandler}}

Night Star's parents who were obviously based on Chris's parents.

===Lyra===

Made a brief cameo congratulating Night Star in hatching a dragon egg.

===Vinyl Scratch/DJ Pon-3===
{{main|Vinyl Scratch}}
Two incarnations of the DJ appeared. One in her Canterlot form and another in her pony form.

===Half of the Mane Six===

Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack would make brief cameos thoughout the comic.

===Diamond Melody===
{{main|Jessica Quinn|Diamond Melody}}

Based on Jessica Quinn, she was Night Star's first love. They would date by traveling around CWCville until she shamefully moved away after meeting her real-life counterpart.

===Nepgear===
{{main|Hyperdimension Neptunia}}

Younger sister of Purple Heart. She appeared and accompanied Night Star and Diamond Melody to a concert.

===Discord===

A draconequus and the spirit of chaos. In the Sonichu lore, he serves as Chris's bodyguard and appeared in the comic discussing plans of a fundraiser with Night Star.

===Kun T'Nyuget/Kun Hanhphuc===
{{main|Kun T'Nyuget}}

Joshua Wise created his ponysona, Kun T'Nyuget, as part of the trolling plan. However, due to the intervention of [[Kiwi Farms]] he was renamed as Kun Hanhphuc by the time of his debut. Like Rosechu, he is mostly useless and serves as a tag-along and someone who needs to be rescued.

===Rei Ryghts===

The CPU of the fallen nation of Tari and represents the Atari 2600. She is the head of the Seven Sages and the main antagonist of Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory. She was seen terrorizing Cwcville and making short work of Night Star before the other CPUs came and defeated her.

===Captain Celaeno===

A character whose first and only known appearance was in the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie. She is an anthropomorphic parrot who is the captain of a pirate crew who expressed concern with the unusually hostile relationship with Pea-Tree and Squaker.

===Pea-Tree and Squaker===
Two of Captain Celaeno's crews who may or may not be [[homos|gay to each other]]. Their conflicting views of the Storm King were a central plot during the fourth and final story arc of ''Sonichu'' #12-9.

===Tempest Shadow===

Another character from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie. As the former lieutenant of the Storm King, she assisted Night Star and Kun in their mission to help Captain Celaeno.

==[[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]==

===John Yamada===
{{main|Idea Guys}}

A Gameindustri agent who informed Chris of the chaos happening in Cwcville. He serves as Chris's informant on the twisted matters of the plot and an important figure early on as he was able to bring back Chris's ability to transform, fought alongside the Sonichus and CPUs, and provided funding via bank robberies in PayDay. He is also extremely lustful, having five wives, much to Chris's annoyance.

===Akan===

Main antagonist of ''Hardcore Henry'' and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. As a Russian billionare, he funded the Russian army during the first invasion of Cwcville and ruled the city via a puppet mayor during his occupation. He is also depicted to have powers similar to Chris.

===Monika===

The major driving force of the game Doki Doki Literature Club and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. Like in the game, she has some reality bending powers, most notably memory wiping and deletion, which were used against Chris and his allies.

===Kuromi===

The evil half of Uzume Tennouboshi and part of the leading trifecta invading Cwcville. Unlike the previous two, her powers were not completely known as she was the only one of the trio who was actually defeated.

===Emmet Brown===

The iconic scientist from the ''Back to the Future'' trilogy made a cameo assisting Sonichu by transporting him back to Virginia.

===Chris clones===

Using the DNA collected from Chris's grimy bedroom, Night Star accidentally unleashed hundreds of imperfect, blobby clones of Chris to Equestria. These situation involving the horny hordes were so severe, that the entire kingdom was evacuated so they can be napalmed.

===Past Chris===

Based on Chris's earlier comic depiction, he is possessed by Satan and a devoted follower of the Nazi ideology. Just as he was to abolish women's rights, he was killed by Present Chris.

===Ted Bundy===
{{main|Bundychu}}

Based on the American serial killer. Bundy was reincarnated as a Sonichu and serves to defend CWCville.

===Adolf Hitler===

The infamous Nazi dictator himself makes an appearance comic, who was kept alive with the Sonichu medallion and influenced past Chris's behaviors. He was initially turned to dust by Present Chris in 2000, but appeared again in 2018 in his Sonichu form.

=="[[Sonichu Special 2]]"==

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]

A small [[China|Chinese]] girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appears as the flower girl. Chris seems to be completely unaware of {{w|Ching chong|the stereotypes said character's name brings along.}}

===Officer Keino===

[[Image:Coachkein.jpg|thumb|left|Officer Keino and Coach McGuirk]]

The father of [[Ivy]] (named in honor of the [[troll]] Keine).
A blatant ripoff of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Home_Movies_characters#Coach_John_McGuirk|Coach John McGuirk]] from [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']], he is [[Ivy]]'s father. He has appeared in the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and the [[Wedding Comic]], the latter of which was shown in [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|the Marriage Proposal To Ivy]]. Chris gave Keino the Cub Scout salute, believing this is how you address a police officer.

===Other Characters===
*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs, who are ring bearers
*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear|Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of reptilian bakers
*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*An unnamed [[My Little Pony]] character - pulls the chariot that Chris and Ivy ride in
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}

==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The real Christian Weston Chandler, though he refers to himself as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] in Solid Chris's comic world. Here, he is displayed as a knife-wielding madman who wants to cut up Kacey for... no apparent reason. Ian responds by disarming him, then blowing out his shins.

===Kacey===
{{main|Kacey}}
Girlfriend of the real Chris and damsel in distress in the comic.

===Megatron===
{{main|Megatron}}
Seeing as the comic already depicted Optimus Prime mowing down evil, it's only natural that his eternal nemesis and leader of the Decepticons Megatron strike fear into the hearts of those who do good. He aids Ian by shooting an unarmed Chris in the legs.

===Kacey's Family===
All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs. Her family is comprised of:
**[[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Fighter 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry.)
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sonichu characters not seen in the comics but otherwise mentioned by Chris==
Being an avant-garde writer with little regards to outdated conventions, Chris ignores the idea of "show don't tell" and often introduces entire plots and characters in his writings rather than in his drawings. Some of those characters include:

*A [[Pokémon#Pokémon not appearing within the comics|plethora of various Pokémon]].
*A bunch of merpeople populating the lost city of Atlantis. Virtually nothing is known about them other than that they are friends of [[Bubbles]].<ref name="Bub cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bubbles_Rosechu Bubbles Rosechu]</ref>
*Terrah LeAnne Yowman, her sweetheart Tippanston Gowen, and the various unnamed students mentioned in [[The High School Story]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens#The_High_School_Story The High School Story] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref>
*A Pokémon Professor named [[Cole]] is mentioned on the CWCipedia. He examined Sonichu and Rosechu after they transformed into their current forms, and was also responsible for teleporting Rosechu to Kel when the latter was engaging in gym battles.<ref name="Ros cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu Rosechu]</ref>
*Grace Rosewell, the Reverend at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Sonichu, Rosechu and the Chaotic Combo attend her service every Sunday.<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>
*Fritz Richmond, a pastor at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church. Helped raise Angelica.<ref name="ang cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Angelica Rosechu]</ref>
*An ex-student of Shinabe who kills his master in revenge for an unknown slight. Punchy kills in return with a punch and buries him behind Shinabe's Dojo.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />
*Three unnamed protectors of Parodyse Island - According to [[Megagi]]'s [[Animal Crossing]] card, she and three other unnamed individuals are the protectors of Parodyse Island.<ref>[[:File:315-ACMegagiBck.jpg]]</ref> Nothing further is known about them.
*[[Perceptor Sonichu]], a female, shiny Sonichu created by the Idea Guys who was raised by Mewtwo and Magi-Chan. She has infinite knowledge, is immune to manipulation, and can destroy any Nazi technology.<ref>[[:File:PerceptorSonichu.jpeg]]</ref>

==Notes==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story

2026-06-14T22:05:18Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Unfinished}}

[[Image:SonichuChristmas.jpg|thumb|Chris's logo. [[Chris and art|Nice]].]]
"'''A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story'''" is a [[Christmas]]-themed stream-of-consciousness short story that [[Chris]] started in the late evening of 13 [[December 2009]]. It appears that Chris characteristically began writing without any clear idea of what the overall story was, which led to [[stress]] and Chris giving up halfway through - proof that even when using an old, traditional template, Chris will still struggle.

As of this current time, the project remains unfinished, presumably forgotten.

[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] would serve as a remake/completion of the story.

==Synopsis==

It is [[Sonichu chronology#2008|December 2008]] in [[CWCville]]. The thoughts of CWCville's citizens have turned to shopping, "[[Santa Clause]]", and religion, in that order. The churches are full of Christians, and for some reason [[Christmas#Other confessions|Jews and Buddhists]] have also apparently gathered in the churches to celebrate. Chris nonchalantly notes that CWCville has so many homeless people that it requires ten homeless shelters/soup kitchens.

[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], able-bodied adults who [[Monthly tugboat|do not work]], prepare to lavish expensive gifts on their children in their state-appointed housing while across town the apparent throngs of destitute homeless people huddle for warmth in overcrowded flophouses (Chris calls them [[Mailbag 18|"Soup Hotels!"]]). Chris evidently believes toddlers can do a lot, as [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cera, Christine and Robbie]] hang stockings, butcher a {{w|A Visit from St. Nicholas|classic Christmas poem}} (somehow in song form - the proper [[Chris and music|melody]] only exists in Chris's head), rehearse for the overtly Christian public school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them is in elementary school despite Cera, the eldest, being two years old. Chris seems to have forgotten their ages.

Robbie and Sonichu have a lengthy conversation about toys and video games. Most of the conversation is centered around why Sonichu doesn't get more presents. Chris adds a note suggesting, apropos of nothing, that the wireless [[PS3]] controller should have some kind of special strap, so he could lash the controller to his feeble, sweaty hands without having to worry about dropping it.

[[Women's rights|Staying in the kitchen]], Rosechu and Cera bake cookies for their Christmas party, which will occur in nine days. Cera has baked a single "[[duck|candle-shaped]]" cookie for the [[Racism|token Jew]] she invited to the party. Cera tells Rosechu that she made him a vanilla cookie, so he wouldn't fall prey to some Jew food allergy from eating a peanut butter or chocolate cookie. It is unclear whether the children are allotted one cookie each, or [[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] (the Jewish character) is only given one cookie as some kind of punishment for not believing in the divinity of [[Jesus]]. Rosechu high-fives Cera for her deranged attempt at being culturally sensitive. This the end of the extant story, and [[Stress|it is unlikely ever to be finished]].

=="A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas"==

'''A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas'''

By Christian Weston Chandler, December 13, 2009.

===Act 1===

It is [[Sonichu chronology#2008|December 12, 2008]], in the City of [[Cwcville]], Virginia. The majority of the citizens of Cwcville are full of the Christmas Cheer and Holiday Joy. Carolers are singing in various parts of the city. There's a Santa Clause in the middle of the Shopping Mall. The Biggest, Greatly Decorated Christmas Tree occupies the center of CWC-Central Park. All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such. Christmas Trees (mostly) and Menorahs light up most every house, apartment, store and all the living spaces. Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. Although there tend to be one or two [[Bob|humbugged individuals]] within each group of people.

On this jolly day, we focus on the little house on 14 Brunchville Lane, where we see the Sonichu Family putting the finishing touches on decorating their house. Mama Rosechu and Cera are baking Christmas Cookies of fun and various shapes of Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter and even Gingerbread. Christine is in her bedroom, rehearsing and trying on her [[Virgin with rage|Mary]] Outfit for the Christmas Play at the [[Barbara|AnneWeston]] Elementary School. Robbie and Papa Sonichu, with their fully-decorated Christmas Tree behind them, are putting up the Stockings by the fireplace in the Rec Room.

Robbie had just hung his stocking up, between Cera's and Christine's stockings, when he chimes in singing happily, "And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care; we three children knowing Santa would soon be there." Sonichu smiles for Robbie, kneels down for eye-contact, then asks him, "Hey, partner, what do you think Santa will fill your stocking with?" Robbie thinks for a few seconds and replies, "I snail-mailed him a letter asking to put some candy in it, and maybe a copy of the new Wii [[Sonichu's Edge|Olympic]] game featuring Uncle Sonic. OOH! And I asked Santa to put the big [[Lego]] [[Jerkops|Police]] Station Set under the tree for me, along with what he will bring for Cera, Christine and you and Mama." Robbie smiles. Sonichu replies, "I don't know about me and Mama; Santa usually brings more for the children." Robbie's smile quickly fades and he asks, "Why does Santa bring less for the grown-ups?" "Well, Santa understands that adults like me and Mama require [[monthly tugboat|less]]," Sonichu replies, "and besides which, we usually treat each other on the presents." Robbie replies, "But Cera, Christine and I chip in for you and Mama too." "Yes y'all do," Sonichu replies, "on Christmas, as well as the other 364 days in your own cute ways; a smile, drawings, and the [[Captain%27s_Log,_Stardate_August_12th,_2009|time we share together as a family."]] Robbie thinks on that for a moment, and he remembers his drawings of sailboats, Papa Sonichu winning a Wrestler's Belt in the match and the family gathered together. He also remembers the games of catching the football, running training around the yard, even High Velocity Bowling on the [[Playstation 3]] ([[Autism|with a custom-fitted Wii wrist-strap attached to the Dualshock 3 Controller. I.M.H.O., ALL wireless controllers should be made with the accessory hole for the wrist straps]]). After all that remembering, Robbie replies with a smile, "Yes we do."

Meanwhile, in the [[Kitchen]], Rosechu and Cera have almost finished baking all the cookies for the upcoming Christmas Party. Cera looks at some of the cookies and smells their goodness. Rosechu looks over her shoulder from the sink, almost empty of the dirty cooking tools that were to be cleaned, because most of them were already cleaned and washed, and tells Cera, "They smell really good, huh?" Cera replies, "Yes, Mama. Delicious," with a few crumbs hanging from her lips, because she ate one peanut butter cookie. The oven bell dings as the last batch of cookies are done. Rosechu washes her hands, dries them, then switches the oven off and opens the oven with an oven mitt on her right hand. and pulls the tray of cookies out. The smell of warm gingerbread refills the air. Cera wipes off her mouth with a napkin from the table, and fetches a fresh, clean spatula from the clean countertop and hands it to Rosechu. The cookies are gently lifted from the tray then are stacked onto a clean plate to cool. Cera exclaims, "I am looking forward to the party, mama. I am happy you allowed our friends from school to come too." Rosechu replies, "That's okay, sweetie." Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was [[Michael Snyder|Jewish]], and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "[[Honor roll|Very Smart]]," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera. The two put all the cookies into multiple zip-loc bags to be saved for the party on the 21st.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading
| ytid = 7tea2OYHGxw
| Stardate = 15 December 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=A_Sonichu_and_Rosechu_Christmas}}
*[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], containing a comic version of this masterpiece.
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[A Sonichu Day]], another day with Sonichu's family.

{{Writings}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas STory}}
[[Category:Prose]]

Barack Obama

2026-06-06T11:37:48Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: name on his birth certificate

{{quote|I have no more campaigns to run. ''*clapping ensues*'' I know 'cuz I won both of 'em.|Barack Obama, 2015}}

{{quote|I think he’s a regular stand up [[Family Guy|family guy]].|Chris on Obama, [[Rollin' and Trollin']]}}

{{quote|Who would you vote for; a war hero that you couldn't feel that much for, or the guy who you feel like is similar to you in social dilemnas?|[[IRC (18 December 2008)|Chris on voting for whoever reminds him of himself]]}}

{{infobox
| title = Barack Obama
| image = [[Image:Barack Obama drawing 22 May 2026.jpeg|center|250px]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Barack Hussein Obama II
|label2 = Date of Birth
|data2 = 4 August 1961 (age {{Age|1961|8|4}})
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Male
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = [[United States|American]]
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = [[Niggo|Black]]
|label7 = Occupation
|data7 = President, [[United States]] (2009-2017)
|label8 = Preceded by
|data8 = [[George W. Bush]]
|label9 = Succeeded by
|data9 = [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]
}}

'''Barack Hussein Obama II''' (born [[Pre-1980#1960s|4 August 1961]]) served as the 44th President of the [[United States of America]]. He was preceded by [[George W. Bush]] and was succeeded by [[Donald Trump]] on 20 [[January 2017]]. His vice president was [[Joe Biden]].

He appears briefly in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] in episode 17, painting the White House black. There was a popular joke where he did so after winning the presidential office. Chris obviously took this joke way too seriously, even [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview|believing it]] as an actual rumor about Obama.

Chris, while initially disliking Obama, felt he and Obama were much a lot alike, in that they were both discriminated against, essentially equating [[Kick the Autistic]] with actual racial discrimination. Chris admitted that after watching the [[Wikipedia:A&E Network|A&E]] documentary on Obama and [[Wikipedia:John McCain|John McCain]], he decided to vote for Obama because he felt he had more in common with him. In other words, Chris had no interest in or understanding of any of the campaign issues or the candidates' opinions on them.

Chris did a prearranged interview in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin']] where he spoke about how he liked Obama and made no mention of painting the White House black.

On New Year's Eve 2009, Chris claimed to have "snail-mailed" Barack Obama asking to make [[homos|homo]] ads on the [[CWCipedia]] [[Chris and the Law|illegal]], [[Chris and the Law|with involvement from the FBI and jail sentences]].<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref>

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==White House gag==
[[Image:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's brilliant political satire in action. See, it's funny, because Bush is known to poke his political rivals with a broom.]]

This page was removed from CWC's site along with the comic pages featuring pornography; the pornographic pages were restored in the Luv Shack, but the Obama page remained removed.

While still a U. S. Senator, Obama made a cameo appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], featured in one of the multitude of bizarre elevator gags seen as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ascend to the top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building. Inexplicably, the entire White House is contained on the 51st floor, where Obama is painting the exterior black. Below, Senator [[Wikipedia:John McCain|John McCain]] (R-AZ), who ran against Obama in the 2008 Presidential race, chides Obama for presuming to redecorate the White House before actually securing the election. Senator [[Wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|Hillary Clinton]] (D-NY), who would later become Obama's Secretary of State, and [[Wikipedia:Sarah Palin|Sarah Palin]], McCain's running mate and then-Governor of Alaska, also look on with annoyance.

From inside the White House, then-President [[George W. Bush]] notices Obama's audacious paintjob, and takes matters into his own hands. Using a broom, he tips over Obama's ladder. The implied extent of Obama's injuries from the fall is left up to the imagination of the reader.

Obama is wearing a [[Wikipedia:kufi|kufi]], which is a traditional west African hat associated with Muslims. This is probably the result of Chris seeing photos of Obama wearing a kufi that have been released.

==See also==
*[[George W. Bush]] - His predecessor
*[[Pmurt|Donald J. Trump]] - His successor
*[[Joe Biden]] - His vice president and his successor's successor
*[[Chris and Race#Black_people|Chris and Race]]

{{clear}}
{{References}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Obama, Barack}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People from Hawaii]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:Boomer Generation]]
[[Category:Presidents of the United States of America]]

Gitar of Fail

2026-06-04T14:27:35Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Guitar Hero III version */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Gitar.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The gitar in the image that won him $400 from [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest|GameStop]] (''Guitar Hero III'' version).]]

The '''Gitars of Fail''' were Chris's custom-painted ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controllers that made appearances in several videos. They were not mere game controllers, however; Chris liked to pose with the controllers, for example in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] as well as several videos.

The Gitars also made many appearances in the comics, for example [[Revive Zordon|when going Jericho on 4-Cent Garbage]], and also on the cover of his mocked-up copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. He appeared to think [[Chris and reality|that it counted as an actual instrument and gave him the skill to really play a guitar.]]

<div style="text-align:center;">'''Fun Fact: He failed at using the guitar strap.'''</div>

After the [[10 January 2014]] house fire, it was speculated for years that the Gitars had been destroyed. During a [[Christ Chan Live Stream: OG Cwcville (Cwcville)-60 Minecraft|livestream]] in [[June 2024]], however, Chris revealed that he was still in possession of at least one of the [[PS3]] renditions of the Gitar. The fate of the others is still unknown.

==Gitars through the ages==
[[File:Gitarr.jpg|thumb|How Chris sees himself.]]

Chris made [[wikipedia:Bobby Kotick|Bobby Kotick]] a ''very'' happy man. If the [[October 2010]] [[100 2278|room pictures]] were clear, Chris had ''at least'' 5 Gitars of Fail:

* The ''Guitar Hero 5'' version, which Chris never managed to mod to the extreme.
* The ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul version, with [[Sonichu]] paint job.
* The ''Guitar Hero I/II'' Gibson SG version, turquoise with the [[America]]n flag stripes and tons of stickers.
* A mostly [[black]] one.
* Lastly, the ''Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock'' version, seen in the [[Victory Rockout]] video in August 2011. Chris got this from a garage sale, bundled with an unspecified game.

It's not clear why Chris would buy more than 1 controller, as the controllers were mostly compatible with newer games and he obviously has no friends to play with. Why he kept collecting ''more'' of them after ''Guitar Hero'' went on hiatus is anyone's guess. But then again, common sense has never had much to do with his video game purchasing decisions--or [[Chris and money|any of his purchasing decisions]], really.

He may have had even more of them, as he sold another ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul on [[eBay]] in September 2009. He also had a customized ''Rock Band'' Stratocaster known as "[[Things Chris has ripped off|Meatwad's Shredwud]]" appear in a video he recorded in [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|October 2009]]. Chris hocked this guitar on eBay around the same time, effectively [[Jimmy Hill|selling a product]] identical to another cartoonist's intellectual property.

==Appearances==

[[File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles, Artwork.jpg|thumb|150px|In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

*The Gitar appeared in the [[PS3 History Level]] video.
*In [[Power]], the [[Nudes|half-naked]] Chris lifts it above his head in a show of [[I AM STRONG|strength]], before miming playing it, namely by wiggling his fingers and screeching.
*In Chris's [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|music video]] for [[Ivy]], he uses the Gitar extensively to rock out for her. In this video, it appears that Chris has further decorated the Gitar since he [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|first introduced it]] in October 2008.
*It appears again when Chris [[100 2266|cosplays as Grimace.]]
*He occasionally mimes out the main guitar riff in his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend" video.]]

{{clear}}

==Gallery==

===''Guitar Hero II'' version===
<center><gallery>
Image:515-CustomGuitar2.JPG|Closeup of the body. Note how the paint looks like poster paint since Chris's greasy hands would wipe off watercolor.
Image:516-CustomGuitar3.JPG|Neck of guitar controller. Notice Chris's pic of himself playing guitar is on his guitar on the body AND the fretboard. Also, the transformation sequence of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
Image:517-CustomGuitar4.JPG|Head. Notice the Sonichu sticker.
Image:514-CustomGuitar1.JPG|Chris showing it off (to himself, at least).
</gallery></center>

===''Guitar Hero III'' version===
[[File:GuitarOfFail.png|thumb|150px|The ''Guitar'' of Fail.]]
<center><gallery>
Image:Gitar3.png|From the 2010 [[100 2278|room pictures]]. Other than the stickers and shoddy paint job, this design looks decent enough.
Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|Quietly confident.
Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|The funny thing is, there are no guitar solos in the song "Holding Out For a Hero"... at all.
Image:CWCShred.jpg|Not even guitar ''parts'', I'm afraid.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest]]
* [[Chris and music]]
* [[Guitar Hero]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

CWC-isms

2026-06-04T10:17:15Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

<center>{{Honest}}</center>

{{Protip|Please refrain from using CWC-isms casually when writing articles, as this may make them difficult for newcomers to decipher.}}
One of [[Chris]]'s most notorious features is his strange '''vocabulary''', consisting of a mix of fairly standard words, slang, jargon, and various personal coinages.

Some of these coinages originate from a degree of prudery, likely inherited from his older parents and maintained by his childlike nature. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to [[Honest Content|adult concepts]] directly, Chris often resorts to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of words that anyone else his age would generally use with little reservation, which is common with autistic people. While some of them are understandable — after all, nobody would really relish discussing their [[Butt garments|diapers]] — others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", only serve to turn an otherwise normal sentence into an advertisement for Chris's childish nature.

Others are attempts to be clever that fail miserably, for example, he refers to [[semen]] as "[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|navy]]", because semen sounds like sea men, [[Random-access humor|get it?]] Still others come from Chris's love of manipulating words, especially backwards spellings, {{w|portmanteau}} blends, “verbing” nouns, or liberal use of affixes such as "-ful", "dis-", "mal-", "-ish", or "-er". Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among [[autism|autistics]] (likely since standard language may seem inefficient to explain their thought processes), and you get his so-called '''CWC-isms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations or butchered versions of words or phrases that already exist, entirely new words, commonplace words that he uses repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way, or entirely new phrases that Chris often has to explain afterwards because nobody knows what he's talking about.

==Primary categories of CWC-isms==
Nearly all CWC-isms belong to one of the four following classes:
# '''CWC-neologism''' - a ''new'' word or phrase, unknown until ''created by Chris''. Example: ''[[CWC-isms#L|Lovehogs]]'', a portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehogs".
# '''CWC-homonym''' - an ''existing'' word or phrase, to which Chris has given a ''different meaning''. These may be euphemisms, designed to avoid naming (to Chris) offensive things, or else due to Chris confusing an elevated word's meaning. Example: ''[[Duck]]'', for Chris's penis; ''[[CWC-isms#T|telekinesis]]'', used erroneously in place of ''telepathy''.
# '''CWC-archaism''' - an ''obscure'' word or phrase, known in English but seldom used by contemporary Virginians, which Chris has learned somewhere and has ''become characteristic'' for Chris's way of speaking/writing. Example: ''[[CWC-isms#U|Uncouth]]'', a word now rarely used outside the context of formal etiquette, which Chris used to tell people how much of a jerk he perceive they're being to him.
# '''CWC-misspelling''' - only the ''most notable'' of Chris's ''misspellings'', including deliberate re-arrangements: those which are characteristic for Chris's way of writing. Example: ''[[Geinus]]'', what he deems himself to be; ''[[Pmurt]]'' for Donald Trump, 45th and 47th president of the United States. Chris's sporadic, inconsistent use of some [[Catherine|British spellings]] while otherwise using American English can also be considered under this category.



__NOTOC__

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; center:0">{{Alphabet ToC}}</div>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==#==
|-
|

;12-9
[[Image:Sonichu 12-9 Cover.jpg|The cover for Sonichu #12-9|thumb|200px]]

<blockquote>
1. ''(numeral)'' A placeholder for the number thirteen.

<blockquote> ''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism directly. Chris however used it in lists that exceed 12 items.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1006915844016869377</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has shown on a few occasions to dislike the number 13, due to him deeming it an unlucky number. This phenomenon, referred to as [[wikipedia:Triskaidekaphobia|triskaidekaphobia]], is already a popular superstition in American culture, and this is likely where Chris picked it up. His fear of the number has led to some bizarre effects, particularly in his numbering. A famous example of this unusual numbering shtick is in the 13th issue of his Sonichu comics, which he numbered as "Issue #12-9", in which he used an em-dash in the place of a decimal place. The 12-9 itself is meant to represent a value of "almost 13".</blockquote>

;15 minutes
[[File:15 minutes.jpg|thumb|200px|"It takes me fifteen f-yay minutes"]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' [[Masturbation]], the amount of time it takes for Chris.

<blockquote> ''Masturbation takes '''Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes'''''<ref name=15min>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote> ''Self-masturbation is really arduous and annoying. Another '''15 minutes''' down the drain.''<ref name=15min></ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris coined this phrase in 2021, using it in chats with the [[Watchmen]] and in the [[Workaholics Anonymous comic]].</blockquote>

;[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent Garbage]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' The headquarters of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4-Chan]] trolls in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.

<blockquote> ''You will recognize her [?] as your sweetheart because from a fav- from a favor on her half, your internal clock will be restored fully, your enemies of '''4-cent-garbage''' will be vanquished, so you both will live together in peace. Live freely.''<ref>[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Since ED and 4chan were partly responsible for Megan's breakup with him, Chris decided to get payback on the both of them by combining the both of them into an evil corporation in Sonichu, dubbing it "4-cent Garbage".</blockquote>

;7-incher
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A penis which measures seven-inches in length.

<blockquote> ''Good thing we stopped for a pack of condoms; it's too bad the regular-size ones break easily on my '''7-incher'''.''</blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, his penis is about 7 inches, which he actually believes is the average length of a penis of an adult male <ref>[[Mailbag 20#Oral doesn't count]]</ref>. Chris has made all kinds of weird euphemisms for just his penis alone such as this one, "ugly growth", and "duck".</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==A==
|-
|
;abreast
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' full of; filled with.

<blockquote>''It was not until after saving the city from the forces of Count Graduon and his minions, that she realized her form's new assets. And she was '''abreast''' with delight and glee when she found not the Male Part, but a Vagina!''<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''In fact, while I am fairly educated about Tribadism and '''abreast''' with theories, I would appreciate some experience with a lesbian or two who knows what she likes to enlighten me better, including on sensual massage and all that.''<ref>[[May_2015_Facebook_posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris uses this word when discussing feminine anatomy and lesbian sex, evidently because it includes the word "breast". He fails to realize that "abreast" actually means "adjacent" or "across".<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/abreast</ref> A possible confusion with the word "abound" or "abundant".</blockquote>

;Adult Swim
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' pornographic or otherwise "NSFW"; containing [[Honest Content|adult content]].

<blockquote>''She still has a great drawing style, even for the '''Adult Swim''' section."<ref>[[CWCSonichu-NightStar2891 DMs]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Refers to the Cartoon Network block ''[[Adult Swim]]''. Chris seemed to only consider the "Adult" part of this block's name, and therefore assumed he could use this phrase to describe anything that's "adult" to him. Note that the Cartoon Network block does not feature pornographic content.

</blockquote>

;adulterous
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Of an [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|adult]] and mature nature

<blockquote>''Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered '''adulterous'''.''<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: usually used to describe people who [[Ivy|cheat]] on their [[Blanca Weiss|partners]] (i.e. guilty of adultery), Chris only notices the "adult" component of the word.

2. ''(adjective)'' Insult of unclear nature
<blockquote>''Heeeeey, folks! It's me, [[Clyde Cash]]. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an '''adulterous''' foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet!''<ref>[[100 2267]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris simply throws out the insult without a clear understanding of the word. Possibly referring to Clyde taking [[PandaHalo]] from Chris, though this is more aptly described as cuckoldry than adultery. Perhaps influenced by the verb ''adulterate''.

</blockquote>

;among which
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Among other things. Et cetera. Also. Additionally

<blockquote>'''''Among which''' I can project myself to (the Ninja Turtles universe)''<ref>[[Count Dankula#More CWCville (19:55-42:18)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: [[Autism|Uncertain]]. Chris adopted this phrase and began using it heavily in a number of different contexts through-out 2018. Perhaps the clearest example of Chris's over-use of "among which" is the [[Dankula|Count Dankula interview]], where Chris uses the phrase no less than ten times.

</blockquote>

;an' anurr thing
<blockquote>
1. ''(Phrase, transitionary)'' Signifies that Chris wishes to make another point about a subject he is discussing, and that he wishes he were Peter Falk.

<blockquote>''An' anurr thing...CHRIS. Your for real- your real name, as I have been told by Kacey, is only Chris Chandler! No "-tian," no "-topher," just Chris! So, admit that. '''An' anurr thing''', I NAME is NOT IAN! BRANDON!!! SOMETHING!!!!!''<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: a corruption of "and another thing". Used constantly when Chris is angry.

</blockquote>
;[[Anaxis bird]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Signifies that [[Anaxis]] was meant to be a messenger for the information that Chris requested he put in ''A Medium's Guidance''.

<blockquote>
''Perhaps you all may have heard how I came onto this from an '''Anaxis bird'''.''<ref>[[User:Anaxis/Watchmen Source Leaks#"Anaxis Bird"]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: A mangling of the phrase "a little birdie told me", indicating that an anonymous source gave someone a piece of secret information. Because of Chris's misuse of the phrase, the other Watchmen present had come to believe that Anaxis was influencing Chris to write both the [[Affirmations List]] and the [[Lovers Attributes List]].</blockquote>

;[[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]]
[[Image:Anch.PNG|right|thumb|Chris and Sonichu amazed by the Anchuent Prophecy]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Describes anything that is archaic in the ''Sonichu'' canon.

<blockquote>
''Well, what's this? I'm havin' an upgrade? Huh! Huh! My- my powers are given me the ability to fly with my wings attached to my head! It's like a w- it's like an add-on! That's optional! Huh! Must have been done by '''Anchuent''' Powers, so awesome I can fly now! Huh!''<ref>[[Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Initially, "anchuent" was taken to be a misspelling of the word "ancient" given Chris's [[Chris and English|poor grasp of the English language]]. Over time, however, it was revealed that "anchuent" was meant to be a portmanteau of the words "ancient" and "Sonichu", adding the "chu" part of "Sonichu" into the word "ancient".<ref>[[Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook]]</ref> </blockquote>

;and shit
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' And additional items.

<blockquote>''I don't want to believe in labels at all but I mean obviously, tale- the incest fanfics have come true '''and shit'''.''<ref>[[Incest call]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''But, yeah, I did not verbally argue as much growing up, and it took facing the even Toughter Moments since 2000 '''and shit''' for me to actually formulate and speak better self-defenses with what is Truth''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A more profane variant of "and such" (see below). Chris often uses the phrase in unfitting contexts. He may have picked it up from [[Lars]]'s constant usage of the phrase during the 2010 [[Lars Call]].
</blockquote>

;and such
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' And additional items; to add to a list.

<blockquote>''At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera '''and such'''.''<ref>[[CWC Blog|Cwcipedia captain's log, 25 November 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris understands the term's meaning, but uses it superfluously.
</blockquote>

;anthropological
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' human-like, anthropomorphic.

<blockquote>''In dressing myself for the burial work, I saw Snoopy had merged with his '''anthropological''' self-counterpart on the C-197 half of the veil.''<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Eulogy for Snoopy]]</ref></blockquote>
</blockquote>

;acquisition
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A charge or allegation of wrongdoing.

<blockquote>''NO! MORE! Of those stupid '''acquisition''' messages!''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A {{w|malapropism|malaprop}} of "accusation".
</blockquote>

;artery

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' art.

<blockquote>''Good evening, but between this and the, uh, oh, and the other clips I would like to present you, uh, a few examples of hand '''artery'''.''<ref>[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Not to be confused with the term for blood vessels. Chris doesn't seem to realize "art" is already a noun and doesn't need the suffix, and that "artistry" also exists.
</blockquote>

;as such

<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' In the manner previously described.

<blockquote>''They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me '''as such'''.''<ref name=FatherCall>[[Father Call]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris overuses this phrase to the point of self-parody. He's either tacking it on to fill space when he can't think of the next thing to say, or he's peppering it into his language in a feeble attempt to sound intelligent.
</blockquote>

;ass burgers

<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' [[Asperger's Syndrome]]

<blockquote> ''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism directly, as Chris instead alludes to it as "a bad cut of cow meat".</blockquote>

Origin: Since the CWCipedia Saga, Chris has been noted for disliking Asperger's Syndrome, viewing it as something that makes autistic people look bad due to the term vaguely sounding like "ass burgers". Chris has alternatively suggested the term can also sound like "something that can be picked nasally", aka "ass boogers".
</blockquote>

;ass manager
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Either a misspelling or a derogatory term for "assistant manager," based on the abbreviation "ass. manager."

<blockquote>''I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.''<ref name=ShitMeetFan>[[December 2014 Facebook Posts#Shit, Meet Fan]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has only used this term once, when referring to the [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]. It's unclear if this was a misspelling or [[Manajerk|yet]] [[Jerkop|another]] childish insult based on someone's job title.</blockquote>

;[[Attraction Location|attraction location]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any place Chris may sit to gain the attention of any passing women, only to get promptly kicked out afterward.

<blockquote>''Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an '''Attraction Location'''.''<ref name=CurrentDays>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, having a very difficult socializing with women, thought that sitting around in a certain place and soliciting himself would be a better alternative. Therefore, it would make sense to him to sit in a location with many people in order to gain the attention of several women.</blockquote>

;attraction time

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The time that is spent at an attraction location

<blockquote>''Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my '''attraction time'''''.<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;audio-sonic feeling

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the arousing feeling caused by getting hit by sound waves

<blockquote>''Here is a most '''audio-sonic feeling'''. While at the club last night, the [[Chris and music|music]] was loud, maybe reverberating or echoing. The music and beats literally shook up my rack! I actually Felt the music playing and reverbing within my breasts, almost like my breasts had become a pair of speakers. It Felt Amazing and Arousing!''<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Manboob Tunes]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: As shown in the quote above, Chris believed that he was sexually aroused when sound waves hit him. In actuality, sound, a vibration,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sound</ref> creates pressure. The louder the sound, the more pressure gets created from the wave. Therefore, very loud music should be able to hit Chris given that he's a [[obesity|huge target]], creating that "arousing" feeling, which is actually an alternation between high and low pressures.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== B ==
|-
|

;B-dog
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Derogatory epithet for women.

<blockquote>''Then that [[Mary Lee Walsh|'''B-Dog''']] ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY.''<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Childish censorship of the word "bitch"; bitch also meaning "female dog". [[Bubbles Rosechu]] is implied to say this in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], when she shouts "BEEE..!!!" at [[Silvana]].<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_8/Page_95|Issue 8 Pages 94-95}}</ref>
</blockquote>

;bally
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' round; having the texture of a perfectly round ball.

<blockquote>''I've always given her a "'''Bally'''-Scratch" where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a rubber ball.''<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: If one didn't know Chris was referring to his dog, Patti, and that he gives her a "Bally-scratch" on the head, one might conclude that he's fondling someone's genitals. Chris, [[CWC-isms#N|naive]] to how suggestive this sounds, gave this special kind of petting the name "Bally-scratching" because of how stroking her head felt like he was squeezing a rubber ball.</blockquote>

;Be Woman
<blockquote>1. ''(verb phrase)'' Be '''a''' woman.

<blockquote>''I am a Lesbian Transwoman; I am not confused or mentally ill about that; '''I Am Woman.'''''<ref>[[March 2017 tweets#Proud_to_be_a_feminist]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''How Dare You Insult and be so Inconsiderate of Her like that? '''She Is Woman'''; she would Never Revert Back.''<ref>[[NightStar2891_tweets#She_is_woman]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used regularly when Chris asserts his [[Tomgirl|transgender identity]], notable for the consistent lack of a proper article and capitalization of each word in the phrase. Originally only attested in the first person ("I Am Woman"), a post on Chris's [[Miss Night Star]] Twitter sockpuppet account uses the third person ("She Is Woman"). Technically first appears in [[Sonichu 8]] when [[The Incredible Lioness]] attacks [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], as the somewhat cliché musical reference [[wikipedia:I Am Woman|"I am woman, hear me roar!"]], which may have inspired Chris's broader use of the phrase. This could be a reference to the Bhagavad Gita or Oppenheimer ("Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.") [[honor roll|but this is unlikely]].
</blockquote>



;Bigfoot hunts
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The act of taking photos of Chris when you spot him in public.

<blockquote>''I've had it with those shutterbug...Bigfoot hunts imposed upon me because ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!<ref>[[C-Log 03182026]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in C-Log 03182026, where Chris complains about sightings of him being posted online, all while inadvertently comparing himself to a big, smelly ape.
</blockquote>

;[[Biological clock|biological clock]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Wikipedia:Circadian Rhythm|circadian rhythm]]

<blockquote>'''I have a lot of stored caffeene [sic] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking '''biological clock''' as well.''<ref>[[Biological clock]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Although technically not used incorrectly in this context, the phrase "biological clock" is used exclusively for women in their child-bearing years. Possibly a confusion with "internal clock".
</blockquote>

;blangry
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' [[Chris and anger|Angry]].

<blockquote>''Oh, and how 'bout this?! I get '''BLANGRY'''! ''<ref>[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Given Chris's belief that he has [[Chris and English|mastered the English language]] and his [[speech impediment]], it's likely he meant to say angry.
</blockquote>

;blue-printed
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Skilled in engineering.

<blockquote>''I like many others, was born a foal; to a '''blue-printed''' Pegasus and a country tomboy earth mare.''<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot_20171019-235945_01-png.299275/</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris portrayed Bob's Pony Counterpart in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] as an engineer, just like the real [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]. Due to Chris's limited vocabulary, Chris knew few words to describe Bob's profession. Derived from the word "blueprints", the plans set for the design of a product. </blockquote>

;[[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Single; particularly used on women.

<blockquote>''Ahh, well, it's been over a year and ten months now since I started my sweetheart-search; I still haven't found a '''boyfriend-free'''-caring-smoke-free-non-alcoholic-white-girl-near-my-age to build a relationship with from the ground up.''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris’s mission in life used to be to obtain a girlfriend and have sex. However, every chance he thinks he gets, they already have a boyfriend. This has made Chris “fear” girls who already have boyfriends.</blockquote>

;breaking my balls, busting my balls

<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' Feeling annoyed, teased, and/or nagged by somebody or something.

<blockquote>''Don't do this, you're '''breaking my balls''' here.''<ref name=SHOWDOWN>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just '''busted my balls''' again, you're going to jail.''<ref name=SHOWDOWN/></blockquote>

Origin: Originally said by Eric Cartman in an episode of ''[[South Park]]''.
</blockquote>

;Buddha belly
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Excess fat that gives a person a [[obesity|very round appearance]].

<blockquote>''Okay, well, I admit I do have a '''Buddha belly''', but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.''<ref name=FatherCall/></blockquote>

Origin: "[[Wikipedia:Buddha|Buddha]]" is a title given to several legendary figures in [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhism]]. In this case, Chris is making reference to [[wikipedia:Budai|Budai]], who is often known as "Fat Buddha". Chris presumably picked up the phrase from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "To Love and Die in Dixie".
</blockquote>

;bugbears
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Trolls]], [[weens]], and other Chris-related orbiters who make him miserable.

<blockquote>''Freaking CyberBullies!!!!!!! Real '''Bugbears''', they are!''<ref>[[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Although the term was originally defined in the 16th century as 'a cause of obsessive fear, anxiety, or irritation.', it was given another definition centuries later to describe a race of hobgoblins [[Wikipedia:Bugbear (Dungeons & Dragons)|made famous]] by ''[[Dungeons and Dragons]]''. It's widely believed that Chris picked up the term from ''[[My Little Pony]]: Friendship is Magic'', which depicted these creatures as literal bear-insect hybrids that are first seen terrorizing the ponies.
</blockquote>

;buh bye bay nose
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' but if anybody knows.

<blockquote>''If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in da bawls. But I can't, because I don't know who or where you are. '''Buh bye bay nose''' the whereabouts of the... [[JERKS|jerk]]... and just happens to be nearby... or within the state? Give him a swick kick for me.''<ref>[[Christian's Update 13 September 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A result of Chris’s [[speech impediment]]</blockquote>

</blockquote>
;but during the stone age...
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A rebuttal for something obvious being stated.

<blockquote>''You don’t have to tell me twice! '''But during the stone age...'''''<ref>[[Sonichu 2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to the [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|Videobook for Sonichu #2]], the phrase originates from how you need to “tell cavemen twice” over anyone else.</blockquote>

;[[Butt garments|butt garment]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Leaked footage of Chris in a butt garment]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an adult diaper; typically one used to control Chris's [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontenence]].

<blockquote>''The doctor corrected that they were liners; he never called them diapers. Neither did Chris- he called them “'''butt garments'''”.''</blockquote>

Origin: To avoid embarrassment from stating that he shits himself constantly, and uses incontinence pads, Chris refers to them as butt garments.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== C ==
|-
|

;C-Log
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Captain's Log.

<blockquote>'''''C-Log''' February 4th, 2010. First off, I'm not dead, and I have a few announcements to make.''<ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: For quite some time, Chris has had the habit of abbreviating certain words or phrases that begin with "'''C'''", possibly for [[Chris and his Ego|his name also beginning with "'''C'''"]], as well as to put greater emphasis on the letter C in the words he abbreviates. Other examples of this kind of abbreviation include "C-Mas" and "C-Ville".
</blockquote>

;C-Mas
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Christmas

<blockquote> ''The [[Christmas]] season is upon us, and with that comes the rush for the '''C-Mas''' Turkey, Tree (real or artificial), and of course, the presents. So, Sonichu and the News Dash have some helpful tips to give a better feel of the season to all.<ref>[[Sonichu's_News_Dash#A_Very_Special_Holiday_Chris-chan]]
</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: See ''C-Log''.
</blockquote>

;C Ville (or C-Ville)
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' [[Charlottesville, VA]].

<blockquote>''Look, you're going to back in '''C-Ville''' tomorrow, I can meet you at the McDonalds at Forest Lakes, what time is good for our meeting?''<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Generic term for any city whose name fits the pattern of beginning with "C" and ending with "ville," e.g., [[CWCville]], Charlottesville, etc.

<blockquote>''And when you diss Cwcville you disf- you diss every "'''C Ville'''" within these United States.''<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: See ''C-Log''.
</blockquote>

;[[Captain's Log|Captain's Log]]
[[File:CWCtrek1.png|400px|right|thumb|The Autistic Generation]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' The classic opening for a vlog video Chris makes to adress the fanbase, which includes the date of production. Replaced in 2015 with "live from home once again".

<blockquote>'''''Captain's Log'''. Stardate: September... 24th, 2008.''<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: One may come to the conclusion that Chris picked up this phrase from Star Trek, however, Chris is neither a fan of the Star Trek franchise, nor has he seen any clips of the show<ref>[[Mailbag_3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_14]]</ref>. It is more likely that Chris picked up the phrase from cartoons like [[Family Guy]], which references Star Trek, considering how much he watched the show religiously.</blockquote>

;carniverous
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' evil, vengeful.

<blockquote>''On today's show, we will take a close-up look at the '''carniverous''' jerkops.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P29.htm</ref></blockquote>Origin: A misspelling of "carnivorous". It is unknown what word Chris meant to use here, but "carnivorous" certainly wasn't it.</blockquote>

;[[china]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Female genitalia

<blockquote>''I love dykes! DYKES! '''CHINA!'''''<ref>[[CWC's_Second_Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, uncomfortable with directly saying the word "vagina", decided to alter the word to a cutesy, similar-sounding word. Based off of a term for porcelain "china".</blockquote>

;coldest shoulder

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' to rebel.

<blockquote>''Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who turned '''Coldest Shoulder''' Against me and STARTED all of the Online Hatred.''<ref>[[April_2012_Facebook_posts]]</ref>

''One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time Manajerks who gives her elders the '''coldest of shoulders'''.''<ref>[[Coffee Place]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misuse of the phrase "turning a cold shoulder", a phrase used for the negligence of another person<ref>https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/turn-a-cold-shoulder-to</ref>. </blockquote>

;Come Adore
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A sermon from Chris's religion.
<blockquote>''That's all for now. Be safe and well.

Mrs. Jesus Christine Chan Sonichu.

Commodore Come Adore<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 June 2022]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Yet another retarded pun from Chris, specifically based on the [[Commodore 64]].
</blockquote>

;[[Comeuppance|comeuppance]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Male orgasm.
<blockquote>''...I feel my '''comeuppance''' and I come into your mouth, my [[semen]] is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop. (...) And right after I'd given you my first round, my first '''comeuppance''', you would take, you would reach down, and you would take your face away from my penis...''<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' [[Semen]], usually immediately after ejaculation. ''See also: [[CWC-isms#N|Navy]]''
<blockquote>''Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until you get the first dosage of my '''comeuppance'''!''<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Chris uses the sexual slang "cum" as a [[For Julie's Eyes Only|verb]] for orgasm, but he may not realize it can also be a noun referring to ejaculate. In his mind, "comeuppance" apparently serves that purpose, viz., "that which has come/cum up."

In the real world, "comeuppance" is an English noun meaning [[Wiktionary:comeuppance|outcome which is justly deserved]] based upon the common verb "come," i.e., the state of coming forward to receive judgment. He is either unaware of the original definition of the word or does not appreciate the irony of telling women he's going to give them comeuppance.

Note that the contexts of the real word and Chris's version are different. When a woman is rebuked, she receives her comeuppance; when a woman gets Chris's hot load in her face, she receives ''his'' "comeuppance."
</blockquote>

;count you(r) blessing(s)
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used as a retort when someone complains about the quality of your work.
<blockquote>It’s an early thing; it will improve later on. Curb your enthusiasm and '''count your blessing.'''</blockquote>
Origin: In [[January 2020]] Chris was seen using the phrase when he was attacked after chimping out about being blocked on social media. Recently people have been questioning the quality of the newest [[medallions]], produced by [[Praetor]]. Chris, perhaps in an attempt to "calm the trolls down'' tells them to '''count their blessings''.</blockquote>

;crash into slumber (or crash and burn)
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To get so sad and [[Chris and stress|stressed out]] that you get tired from exhaustion.

<blockquote>And… the void in my heart that requires a sweetheart is open again, and it hurts. I hope you jerks and trolls who wanted to break us up… are happy… 'cause all you did was make me feel sad and depressed. And you made me '''crash… into slumber'''… a couple of times. And you know, it takes a lot of stress and exhaust… and such… to make a person feel like they're gonna crash and burn… into a whole bunch of s-- into a long slumber… that just basically sleeps o-- that just basically sleeps off the—uh, what's the word I was looking for? I had it. Ugh…<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris famously said that he "crashed into slumber" in the video [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]], where he shows off how depressed and angry he was with his latest tomfoolery at the time. It could be because that one of Chris's main methods of coping with his stress is to sleep it off, and tried to make it sound hyperbolic by stating that he "crashed" onto the bed, as if he tried to get it done sooner.</blockquote>

;crestfallen
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Sad and disappointed

<blockquote>''I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt '''crestfallen''' greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!''<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#Graduation]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys R Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and '''crestfall'''. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!''<ref name=ShitMeetFan/></blockquote>

Origin: Another obscure word Chris liked to use a lot, even today. It even got to the point where he tried to put it into a baffling progressive tense "to my dismay and crestfall".</blockquote>

;crooks
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Those who may steal Chris's intellectual property for malicious purposes. ''(pl.)''

<blockquote>''I aways keep my eyes open for '''crooks''' who take my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]]'s name and put it in offensive use!''<ref>''[[:File:116-CWCCop.jpg|116-CWCCop.jpg]]''</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' websites, and even words on websites which communicate lies about Chris.

<blockquote>''And that [[ED]] page is one of those crooks. Every page--every word on the discussion page is a '''crook'''.''<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A finishing move Chris does on his adversaries in order to "curse" them, publicly or otherwise.

<blockquote>''Hmmm...'''Curse-ye-ha-me-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!'''''<ref>[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A reference to the Kamehameha energy attack from the [[Dragon Ball]] series, performed in the same way it is in the anime. Chris believes that he possesses [[Chris and reality#Magic|magical powers]]. Typically, these so-called magical powers would be used whenever an enemy gets in the way of whatever he wants to do, since Chris is too afraid to actually fight anyone. Therefore, he will rely on this magical power in order to gain control of whoever is giving him trouble.</blockquote>

;CWC-sense
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The ability to sense Chris's presence.

<blockquote> ''Seriously though, awesome timing coming in, just as we, and Chris, had just finished writing the lyrics...was your '''CWC-sense''' tingling?''<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/15092809</ref></blockquote></blockquote>

;Cwcspirational
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' of or giving inspiration; inspiring

<blockquote>''Thank you, Miss Franklin for that '''Cwcspirational''' Track. :)''<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref ></blockquote>

Origin: Chris once used the word in place of inspirational to describe Aretha Franklin's "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]".</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== D ==
|-
|

;D.A.
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Unexplained, presumably a substitution to avoid the word "dumbass." Most likely ''not'' "District Attorney," although equally applicable to [[Marvey Blaziken]].

<blockquote>''You are obviously a troll trying to pick on my nerves; nice try, '''D.A.'''''<ref>[[Mailbag 15]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris intermittently decides to self-censor his profanities for the benefit of younger readers.
</blockquote>

;da
<blockquote>1. ''(article)'' [[Wikipedia:Eye dialect|Eye dialect]] spelling of the word [http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/the the].

<blockquote>''Y'all know me as [[DJ Jamsta|Jamsta Sonichu]], '''da''' DJ with da power!''<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], page 43</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris writes "the" as "da" when he intends for his characters (or himself) to sound laid-back and cool. This is most notable with Jamsta Sonichu, who is supposed to sound like a hip radio DJ and/or a [[Chris and race#Black_people|Jamaican man]]. Chris may intend at times to do the same thing in his verbal communications, although his [[speech impediment]] makes it difficult to tell when he actually means to say "da."
</blockquote>

;Da Update
[[File:Daupdate.jpg|thumb|400px|[[Megan]], comparing Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|attitude]] to [[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]].]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' The latest news.

2. ''(phrase)'' The most recent fail Chris is responsible for.

<blockquote>''Hey, guys! What's '''da update'''?''</blockquote>

Origin: Dialogue used by Chris, in an exceedingly awkward attempt to sound casual, in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. As Chris's [[fans]] have searched the Internet for the latest news from our hero, "da update" has become shorthand for "the latest [[Relics of Fail|failure]] Chris has committed." The phrase became legendary when posted above the Chris-chan talk page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] (eventually the page was locked, forcing mass migration to the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]]).

</blockquote>

;[[Darling|darling]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A potential lover, even one that shows no affection back at you.

<blockquote>''Thank you, Doopie '''Darling'''. :)<ref>[[July 2017 tweets#Thanks, darling]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris, so hellbent on being [[Chris and kindness|kind]] to just about any potential sweetheart he met, thinks it's appropriate to refer to women he doesn't know outside of the internet by pet names to sound like he really cares for them, despite it being creepy to most other people. Chris's main justification for using this word on women who don't bond with him is that the actor [[Wikipedia:Tallulah Bankhead|Tallulah Bankhead]] used this word a lot, ignoring the fact that she only did this while on set and was an attractive woman.</blockquote>

;[[Dating education|Dating Education]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' formal education in schools about dating people of the opposite sex.

<blockquote>''Also, in addition, while we also fully support Sexual Education in every high school, Christian Weston Chandler also highly recommends, and would gladly support, '''Dating Education''' classes, because, while Sex Ed is great for the eventual, well-earned intercourse after 3 or more dates, it is vital to learn what to do before that moment. It should be well0taught how to approach and ask one’s member of the opposite gender out for the very first date.''<ref>[[:File:DatingEducation.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The lack of "Dating Education classes" is something that Chris used to complain about all of the time, because he's simply incapable of finding a [[CWC-isms#S|sweetheart]], and that it would be a great advantage for people of his type to learn how to do so. Chris doesn't understand that a key aspect of obtaining a mate is to develop the proper [[Chris and socialization|social skills]], especially those around [[women]], and that it has very little to do with how much sex he has with them.</blockquote>

;dementia
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A synonym for Chris's [[autism]].

<blockquote>''My brain is blank and, I definitely wouldn't have realized. Word of the day, Dementia. The umbrella term for all the mentally wearing down people, I got some dementia okay? So give me time, give me space, alright? And some slack.''<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;detail
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A thing of importance that Chris cannot recall at any given moment.

<blockquote>''I do not have the appropriate calm state of mind to make time to READ those numerous upon numerous small-print '''details''', much less memorize them.''<ref>[[Wikipedia#May 2009 drama]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun)'' Something that Chris does not understand.

<blockquote>''There was one I remember from then where the essay had a lot of offensive content, including smoking, and I spoke my mind on how offended I was of it. Plus other details I misunderstood that he was expecting in the assignments.'' <ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's ability to retain information is questionable (unless it's about [[Sonichu (comic)|something]] [[Lego|he]] [[Pokémon|obsesses]] [[PS3|over]]). As such, he "misunderstands" and "forgets" a lot of glaringly important things, such as [[Father Call|how to live on his own]] and [[Jackie E-mails 2|the fact that he cheated on Ivy]].
</blockquote>

;devotee
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An [[enablers|enabler]] of Chris.

<blockquote>''Ah, I believe I have the proper term. Going from "Worshiper", I checked the thesaurus:"'''Devotee'''" in the term sounds better. "Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu"(DoCCS). This is my better educates and thought suggestion." ''<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Believing himself to be a goddess, Chris needed a term to refer to any of his followers. The term was originally "worshiper", but then after a quick thesaurus search, he decided to change the term to "devotees", solely because he thought it sounded smarter. Although technically a synonym of "worshiper", the term "devotee" is more often used in Eastern religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism.
</blockquote>

;Did the do, to do the do
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To have sexual intercourse, likely under deceptive conditions

<blockquote>''[[Lovely Weather|Lovely]] was hot. She mistook me for myself and we went home from work that night, so Lovely and I '''did the do''', and it was awesome!''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_10/Page_2|Issue 10 Page 2}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An even more benign variation of the common euphemism for sex, "doing it". Likely taken from [[Wikipedia:Emission_Impossible|an episode]] of [[Family Guy]].
</blockquote>

;dige
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Marijuana

<blockquote>''My name's [[Inos]]... wha' chu up to? I am eclectic on this hedge... high on the hog... you wan' som' of this '''dige''', mon?''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_10/Page_70|Issue 10 Page 70}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Intended to be part of a coded reference to "Sonichu, Electric Hedgehog Digimon". It is not known why he changed the reference from "Pokemon" to "Digimon".
</blockquote>

;[[dimensions|dimension]]
[[File:Chrisminecraft.jpg|right|thumb|In a universe of multiple realities, anything is possible according to Chris.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Either our universe or a fictional one, such as the one in which ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' or ''[[My Little Pony]]'' are set, both held to be equally [[Chris and reality|real]] in Chris's ontology.

<blockquote>''For Our Home World and All other '''Dimensions''', Realities and Worlds; All Of Us! Dance! Dance! Dance!!!''<ref>[[Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Dumbing down some physicists' hypothetical notion of other physical universes embedded in mathematically higher-dimensional space, which has since seeped into pop culture and thence down to Chris.
</blockquote>

;[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Used as a reference to Chris's fecal incontinence.

<blockquote>''I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF '''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS'''.''<ref>[[IRC_(20_January_2009)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this phrase during an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] after they alleged that Chris has a fondness to wear women's underwear. In order to confirm his straightness, he retorted by admitting the fact that he has "NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". Soon after, due to how humorous the phrase sounded, it became a shorthand for trolls to refer to Chris's fecal incontinence.</blockquote>

;disabled of crafting
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Too apathetic to work

<blockquote>''Since last December with the Lulu.com problems (resolved), that has left me with a bad emotional and mental scar. Leaving me feeling '''disabled of crafting'''...''<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Too lazy to work]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris being defensive when a customer asked how he could be trusted to follow through on an order, when he had failed to send out orders from his Etsy shop, which resulted in his seller account getting closed.
</blockquote>

;dispel
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Reject, turn away

<blockquote>''[T]o dispel me is to discriminate against the LGBTQ community as well.<ref>[[Unban_contracts#GameStop|GameStop unban contract]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misunderstanding of the meaning of the word.</blockquote>

;Dork of Ages
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Someone who deserves scorn for creating an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article on you.

<blockquote>He is the '''Dork of Ages'''. Y'all should be sending every last complaint and hatred towards—rain down upon him. Send him every last email you can. Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, [gives a thumbs down] along with him.<ref name=AttentionAll>[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used on [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after he created Chris's Encyclopedia Dramatica page. This phrase was [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|taken]] from the American Dad episode "Dungeons and Wagons", where Hayley called Steve the "Dork of Ages" while he played "Dragon Shuffle".</blockquote>

;Drunk, High Aqua Teenatic
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Backstabber.

<blockquote>''You could be a Better, More Supportive Friend, instead of a '''Drunk, High Aqua Teenatic''' with your sweetheart!!!''<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Quinn breaks up with Chris again]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bizarre attempt to turn the title of the Adult Swim cartoon, ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' into an insult.</blockquote>

;[[duck]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|An example of a bent duck]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's penis

<blockquote>''MY '''DUCK''' HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!''<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Initially "duck" was taken to be a typo of "dick" since the "u" and "i" keys are close together. It was later revealed that Chris was using this neologism as an intentional euphemism to refer to his own penis.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

''See also:'' [[CWC-isms#P|pickle]]</blockquote>

;dyke

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A vagina.

<blockquote>I love dykes! DYKES! '''CHINA!'''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In actuality, the word dyke (or dike) refers to an embankment, wall, or ridge built to control or confine water. It is also a derogatory term for [[lesbian]]s, which is somewhat ironic, given Chris's homophobia at the time.</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== E ==
|-
|

;elbow-greased
[[Image:Elbow-Greased Strength.jpg|200px|thumb|Chris gets swole]]

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Earned from hard work and exercise

<blockquote>''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism. It appears in his [[Chris's resume|resume]], where he lists "elbow-greased strength" as one of his "functional skills"''</blockquote>

Origin: A misuse of the idiom, "elbow-grease", a figure of speech humorously used for tasks that involve manual labor only. </blockquote>

;[[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]''

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any of the characters found in Sonichu which are hybrids of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] characters and/or Pokemon.

<blockquote>''Since the inspiration and conception of Sonichu, the '''Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon''' on March 17, 2000, I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books.''<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Despite the name, a majority of "Electric Hedgehog Pokemon" are neither Pokemon or hedgehogs. This misnomer may come from Chris's original characters being hybrids of two Sonic characters, both of whom are hedgehogs (Sonic and Amy Rose) and two Pokémon (Pikachu and Raichu).</blockquote>

;emotional differences

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A strong disagreement between two people.

<blockquote>''I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, '''emotional differences.'''''<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris mentioned that he got terminated from [[Wendy's]] in the [[Father Call]], due to their "emotional differences", possibly meaning that a heated argument between him and his employer ensued.</blockquote>

;empirical
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' resorting to experience to gain knowledge rather than through scientific means.

<blockquote>''So, throw away the book talk; be '''empirical''' and believe what you know is fact'' <ref>[[October 2012 Facebook posts#Empirical]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris attributed the nearly opposite definition of the word to Jeremy Hilary Boob PhD, a character from ''{{w|Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine}}''. Considering this, Chris must have picked up this strange definition from the content in the Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band''.</blockquote>

;entendre

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Charisma or attraction

<blockquote>''Too much '''entendre'''?''<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/15092809</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Derived from the phrase "double entendre", a figure of speech used for words or phrases with a double meaning, typically [[Duck|with]] [[Mass Debating|one]] [[China|of]] [[Recycling|them]] [[Pickle|being]] [[Comeuppance|risque]].<ref>https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/double%20entendre</ref> In English, the word "entendre" isn't typically used outside of the phrase itself, but in many other languages like French and Catalan, it is understood to mean "to hear" or "to understand". Chris, thinking he knows everything there is to know about the English language, once again thought he would sound smart by using this obscure word.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== F ==
|-
|

;F-yay
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' A euphemism for the swear word "fucking".

<blockquote>''For all this time, every single time, [[Mass debating|it takes me fifteen '''f-yay''' minutes]].''<ref>[[Workaholics Anonymous comic]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Seen in the [[Workaholics Anonymous comic]] from [[March 2021]] and again in [[August 2025]].<ref>[[August 2025 social media posts#Decepticlone Punislav... yay]]</ref> The yay comes from Fluttershy's cheer in the [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]] episode Sonic Rainboom, which was a popular meme in the brony fanbase.</blockquote>

;[[Fangs|fangs]]
[[File:Showing_Off_Fangs.jpg|thumb|right|200px|How Chris imagined himself when showing off his canines]]
[[File:ChrisCavities.JPG|thumb|right|200px|The reality. The red arrows point to Chris's cavities]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's canine teeth.

<blockquote>''They're called Eye-Teeth, but they feel and look like '''fangs''' of a vampire, dog or something to me.''<ref>[[Sonichu_Girls#Your_understanding_me_fukky_.281_January_2009.29]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I'm not afraid to SHOW MY '''FANGS'''!''<ref>[[CWC_Update_8_January_2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes his teeth to be unordinary compared to most other people's teeth, apparently believing canine teeth are some kind of special trait only a selected few people have. Because he believes his canines to be menacing, he gave them the name "fangs". Once in a while, Chris would show off his decaying teeth to scare his enemies. This usually works, although for the wrong reasons.</blockquote>

;faredoo
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection, imperative verb)'' Parting salutation, akin to "goodbye".

<blockquote>''Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. I bid you fond...'''faredoo'''. Adieu. Fond farewell adieu...''<ref>[[The MovingFoward videos]].</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Accidental portmanteau of "farewell" and "adieu".
</blockquote>

;fart-minded

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' dumb and perverted.

<blockquote>Ha Ha! Take THAT, you '''fart-minded''', jerk [[MALE]] among ALL fart-minded, jerk Males that make up the Majority of the Worldwide Male Population! -:D<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivtWQTjXCDs</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in the comment section of a Stopmotion Lego animation, where a ''Lego'' minifigure is in a sexual relationship with a ''Lego Friends'' minifigure. Throughout this video, the Lego minifigure essentially acts how Chris believes most men do. At the end of the video, the male minifigure proceeds to fart, which disgusts the female minifigure. Also a possible butchering of the phrase "brainfart", which is used to humorously refer to a moment of absentmindedness.</blockquote>

;firstly
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' A word that indicates that Chris is about to tell someone why he's right. Often not followed by an enumerated list of reasons, despite the implication.

<blockquote>'''''Firstly''', Aspergers is NOTHING Similar to Autism; Aspergers pertains to MEMORY, Autism is Social Skills. and I'm High-Functionally Autistic''<ref name=IRC2January09>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]].</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Use of "firstly" to begin a list, rather than "first," is a matter of dispute. While both words exist in the dictionary, "Firstly" has fallen out of common use in speech and tends to sound more formal, perhaps overly so. Chris seems to like this formality, probably because he thinks it sounds smart.
</blockquote>

;French side dish
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A kiss that involves the usage of one's tongue.

<blockquote>''"I LOVE YOU" would be shared daily with a '''French side dish'''.''<ref>[[For My True Love, I Would…]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bizarre take on the phrase "French kiss".
</blockquote>

;fondful
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' fond.

<blockquote>''Faithfully yours with '''fondful''' thoughts; Chris Chan.''<ref>[[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007|Chris's email to Megan Schroeder]], 06 July 2007</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris apparently doesn't understand that "fond" is already an adjective by itself.
</blockquote>

;for good-like
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' final, but with the imagined possibility otherwise.

<blockquote>''And in June of 2008, he banned me from the store '''for good-like'''.''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails|Chris's email to The Wallflower]], 18 February 2010</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Confusing modification of "for good".
</blockquote>

;foresee/foretell/foreknow
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To make a wild guess at something occuring, claiming it's a "prediction".

<blockquote>''#Saberspark Is right. This is one reason why I stay clear from certain games and shows. My intuition also senses and '''foresees''' the quality and feel without even having to watch or play it at all''<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#Brainrot]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(verb)'' To have predicted something that already happened or that someone else claimed would happen, but didn't.

Origin: Chris claims he has the ability to predict the future, an aspect of his divinity. However, Chris only ever makes these claims whenever an event has already happened, claiming he predicted it would, or when he makes a confident guess at the future based purely on his intuition.
</blockquote>

;foundate
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To dedicate, as in a monument or building.

<blockquote>''I, Christian Weston Chandler, re-'''foundate''' this monument that is the PAGE with MY SOLE HONEST TRUTH from my sound mind and heart.''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|1=Christian_in_his_Own_Words#Captain.27s_Log.2C_Stardate:_June_6.2C_2009|2=Christian in his Own Words}}.</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Likely a portmanteau of "found" and "dedicate", or a bizarre attempt to convert "foundation" into a verb.
</blockquote>

;four-boomerang-shaped symbol
[[File:Fourboom.jpg|thumb|right|"G'Day welcome to Auschwitz"]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' minced oath for "[[Wikipedia:swastika|swastika]]," especially the ''Hakenkreuz'' symbol of the [[Nazis|Nazi]] Party.

<blockquote>''Like Most People, I do not care much for Adolf; he was a terrible man, and even in jest, I WOULD NEVER want to portray him, much less, his '''four-boomerang-shaped symbol''' (I know what it is called, but I do not wish to type the word).''<ref>[[Mailbag 5#That wacky Hitler|Mailbag 5]]
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris was apparently afraid to say the word "swastika," probably for the same reason he used to [[Niggos|fear using racial slurs]].
</blockquote>

;fourth wall

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A boundary that separates [[Reality Cartoon|reality cartoons]] and [[Dimensions|dimensions]] from dimension C-197.

<blockquote>''Hey, Everyone. I have another announcement for you all to do now, for yourselves and our OCs: Break Your Own '''Fourth Wall'''.
<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1195039493130199041</ref>''</blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' An abstract force that prevents people from talking to their OC's.

<blockquote>Our OCs in C-197 often break their '''fourth walls''', because they are aware of us, and it is our time and turn to return the favour.</blockquote>

Origin: Comes from the phrase "breaking the fourth wall", a figure of speech humorously used on characters that acknowledge the audience directly, or state their awareness of the media they're in. Chris has taken this to mean that all dimensions in the universe are separated by this kind of barrier, therefore calling them "the fourth wall". In a recent Twitter post, Chris has also stated that this mysterious force is the reason why people cannot see or interact with their OC's, but that the OC's themselves are fully aware of their creators, so will eventually break through the barrier every once in a while to speak to people of other dimensions.</blockquote>

;[[Friend Zone|friend zone]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The dreaded moment a sweetheart rejects you.

<blockquote>''A lot of times, especially if the friend in question is opposite of gender 18 or older, they may have sex on the brain. And when that person hears from you that you just want to be friends, or in the other term, put into the '''Friend Zone''', that person will feel like they failed at getting the sex they wanted, or Ever will from you.''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The lousiest excuse a sweetheart could give for not having sex with Chris.

<blockquote>''Nothing has happened in Women's Rights; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The Friend Zone refers to a relationship where one person desires romance, while the other only shows interest in friendship. Much like his stance on the Three-Date Rule, Chris believed that the Friend Zone is simply another rule explicitly placed on him by some unspecified authority to slow down his progress on completing his [[Love Quest]]. His belief that this is simply an "excuse" to avoid having sex with him reveals a lot on why he was [[Megan|overly-persistent with]] [[Wallflower|some of]] [[Doopie|his sweethearts]]. He couldn't imagine why any woman would not want to have sex with him, so he came to the conclusion that every woman he stalks are simply unfamiliar with sex and what goes into it.</blockquote>

;[[Fuzzy-wuzzies|fuzzy-wuzzies]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The rewards of giving Chris compliments.

<blockquote>''Compliments will get you '''fuzzy-wuzzies'''.''<ref name=FutureMessage>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. Believed to be another example of Chris's random-access humor. May have been derived from an English assignment in [[Manchester High School|high school]], "[[Manchester High Leaks#Warm Fuzzies|Warm Fuzzies for Christian]]".

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#P|prickly-wicklies]]
</blockquote>

{{clear}}
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== G ==
|-
|

;[[Gal pal|gal-pal]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a female friend.

<blockquote>''And also, I would like to give a shout-out to...Ivy, sweet '''gal-pal''' of mine...and her friend Rachel across the hall from her, in a college within these United States!''<ref>[[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris rarely refers to any of his female friends as just "friends", simply because he thinks that all female friends have the potential to be [[CWC-isms#S|sweethearts]] before they're in the dreaded [[Friend Zone]]. Chris also states that due to his autism, this somehow means that he gets along much more easily with girls than with guys. <ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref> Although this could be more due to the fact that he overall has had much better experiences with girls than with boys growing up, especially in high school. This has caused him to pick up more [[Transgender|effeminate traits and characteristics]]. The term "gal-pal" is typically used by women when they are talking to other people in their social clique. Chris therefore picked this phrase up from the girls he's talked to (possibly using the phrase because he sees himself as "one of the girls"). It is also common for [[homos]] to use this to refer to their female friends.
</blockquote>
;gawd
<blockquote>
1. ''(interjection)'' eye dialect of "god", Used in the place of "god" when it is used to express annoyance, shock, or pain.

<blockquote>''Life is f***ed up. (I had a real stressful Sunday afternoon) '''Gawd'''! Just... GAWD!!!''<ref>[[April 2017 tweets#STRESSFUL SUNDAY. GAWD!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly meant to add dramatic effect to saying "god", which is already used to add dramatic effect.</blockquote>

;gaybian
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a male lesbian.

<blockquote>''Uh... simply put—and I am willing to say this... in sound mind and body: I... am a '''gaybian'''.''<ref>[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only used this word once in the video [[Chris_Comes_Out_of_the_Closet]]. Before this video, [[Clyde Cash]] had threatened to harm [[Julie]] under the condition that Chris refuses to admit that he's gay. Chris being Chris, he had absolutely no idea that he was once again under another elaborate trolling scheme, and had no clue how to handle the situation. Chris thought he could be sly and admit to being gay, while also being attracted to women. Thus, he tacked on the word "gay" onto "lesbian" to create the word "gaybian" so that he can say that he's a "male lesbian", despite this being a complete contradiction within itself.</blockquote>

;geinus
[[Image:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|I'M A MAD GEINUS! [[Doctor Robotnik|ROBOTNIK]]! ROBOTNIK!]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a genius

<blockquote>''Robotnik! Robotnik! I'm a mad '''geinus'''! Robotnik, Robotnik!''<ref>[[Sonichu 1]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An accidental misspelling of "genius", this CWC-ism is the result of Chris's ability to spell, or lack thereof. In his futile attempts to spell words with "eni", he substitutes this with "ein", possibly due to his habit of spelling words phonetically.</blockquote>

;get it through your skulls
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Used to clarify something to your fans
<blockquote>''So everybody '''get it through your skulls''', I'm the real deal.'' <ref>[[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this term a lot when trying to clarify various misconceptions about him, such as his straightness, and who the real CWC was. Variations of the phrase include "GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS", "Get it through your damn, dirty, immature skulls!", and "Get through your damn, dirty, stupid, idiotic, immature skulls".</blockquote>

;gitar
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A guitar

Origin: How Chris pronounces the word "guitar".
</blockquote>

;give birth, give the birth
<blockquote>
1. ''(verb)'' To transfer possession of the state of having been born, by bearing as offspring.

<blockquote>''My mother and my father are both really nice, old-fashioned-type people who not only '''gave the birth'''--gave me birth at their ages...which my mother is sixty-six, currently, and my father is currently eighty. They both just turned that way in the last couple of months. And, uh, I was born in 1982. They gave me the birth...then, and, uh, anyway, it was so nice of--for them to give me the, uh, birth during the early [[1980s]].''<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to think that a sentence like "Barbara gave birth to Christian" is grammatically equivalent to a sentence like "Barbara gave Go-bots to Christian."
</blockquote>

;GO!
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Having a style similar to the cartoon ''Teen Titans Go!''.

<blockquote>''As MUCH, as I would like to agree; Cute as it may be, it is still '''GO!''' Version, and #GOPony is something we Really do not like.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1211396957203247104</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' Of a descent originating from [[Dimensions|dimension CZ-69]].

<blockquote>''Just; Most '''GO!''' individuals are...NO!!!''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1215833863718567937</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this CWC-ism to describe his distaste for the MLP:FiM spinoff series [[Pony Life]], believing it to be in the same vein as Teen Titans Go! due to its artstyle. He would go around on his [[Twitter]] account spamming Hasbro and/or users showing any interest in the show with some of his TSSSF cards as a means of protest using this euphemism to put it under a bad light.
</blockquote>

;go make a rhyme
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to indicate that he is in a [[Chris and writing|poetic]] mood.

<blockquote> ''Oh, Back Off, '''go make a rhyme'''. Love will come your way in good time.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/913230475774369794</ref> Keep Heart, Have hope and faith. Life is a coinkie-dink strafe. Have an open heart, don’t be afraid. Your sweetie is likely in your friendship parade.''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris intended to write a rhyme in order to sound poetic in a tweet, continuing with the rhyming schtick in several subsequent ones. Due to his own laziness, the best Chris could come up with in terms of words that rhyme with "time" is "rhyme".
</blockquote>

;[[Godjesus]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|This is who Chris actually believes in.]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(shorthand)'' God and Jesus Christ.

<blockquote> ''As I have guide, as I was guide [sic] by, uh, God and Jesus. And because I, uh, cheated on Ivy lately, '''Godjesus''' were mad at me, so, even though she r-, even though she requested the recent items of question, sex-, [quietly] sexual stuff--videos and pictures--I am being punished because the trolls are getting their hands on them.''<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And also, who I'd like to thank, '''GodJesus''', our God and our Lord and savior, for their support, for their support as well, I pray to them every day, and I follow, I am guided by Jesus.''<ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris appears to be somewhat aware of the Holy Trinity (Holy Spirit, Son, and Father), the three forms that God takes in mainstream Christianity. Despite accepting Jesus as the son of God, Chris believes that God and Jesus are essentially the same entity. As a result, whenever he mentions God, he is never reluctant to mention Jesus in the same sentence. Because of this, Chris made this CWC-ism as a shorthand of "God and Jesus". This CWC-ism was the primary inspiration for the term "[[Godbear]]" to humorously refer to [[Leonard Bearstein]], who Chris has credited for his name change. Chris now no longer uses his CWC-ism, now referring to both God and Jesus as separate [[OCs]]. Chris now calls God "Emmanuelle".</blockquote>

;grand number of pounds
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Extremely heavy.

<blockquote> ''Note: The chair weighs a '''grand number of pounds'''!<ref>[[Power]]</ref>'</blockquote>

Origin: Used in a video where he tried to prove his strength to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who was actually [[Joshua Martinez]], by lifting an office chair.
</blockquote>

;grinds my gears
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to indicate he is annoyed with something.

<blockquote>Firstly, I got your image in my mailbox; while I thank you for your fanart, No Offense, but I do not appreciate Sonichu drawn looking retarded; I feel it '''grinds my gears''' a bit.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In_which_Chris_insults_someone_who_drew_a_picture_for_him]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>Something that '''grinds my gears''' is how people are not accepting of the neutral terms of "darling" or "dear".<ref>[[:File:OpenLetter.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this phrase almost every time he wanted to indicate he was annoyed and not outright [[angry]]. It is believed that Chris has picked up this archaic phrase from [[Family Guy]], specifically from a segment from the show called "What Really Grinds My Gears", where Peter is talking about things that annoy him or "grinds his gears".

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== H ==
|-
|

;hand-drawing
[[Image:Chris holding a pencil.png|thumb|Chris holding a pencil|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An original drawn image, as opposed to a facsimile of that image.

<blockquote>''I mean, does that look like a printout to you? No! It's a '''HAND-DRAWING'''! It's the original hand-drawing of the back cover I constantly used! Among all the other hand drawings on my SHELF! In my BINDERS! IN THIS ROOM! In this house!''<ref>[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(verb)'' To sketch without the aid of digital technology, such as a computer.
[[File:Sonichuipaddrawing2020.jpg|thumb|A non-example made by Chris.]]
<blockquote>''No, actually, what I thought, is that you skip the '''hand-drawing''' and you draw everything on your PhotoShop with your computer mouse.''<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's process for producing his drawings is to draw them, by hand, on physical paper, and then scan the paper into his computer and use image editing software to add effects like lettering or (for the purpose of breaking the fourth wall) photographs. He takes comfort in the belief that ownership of the original paper drawings is evidence of his authorship and will frequently cite this in defense against perceived thieves and trolls.

Chris also thinks that drawing on a computer instead of paper is an inferior method of producing artwork; he thinks the results look "blocky and low-resolution," which probably speaks more to his [[:File:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg|his own experience using MSPaint]] than the artistic quality of, for example, [[Asperchu]]. The fact that a digital artist like Alec Benson Leary is nonetheless ''using his hands'' does not seem to have occurred to Chris.
</blockquote>

;Haterade

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a metaphorical drink consumed by haters.
<blockquote>''Therefore, for all of you '''Haterade'''-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress. <ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref>''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Put down the '''Haterade'''; this is not going against any rules, it is just the way it is. Hey! I still have my flaws, so I am definitely Not a Mary Sue type of OC. Also, if I wanted a shot glass of '''Haterade''', I would read most anything this dimension’s @realDonaldTrump ever wrote.''<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref></blockquote></blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun, informal)'' excessive negativity, criticism, or resentment.

<blockquote>''This is in reference to the Nypical '''Haterade''' Comment of “Get A Job” that is not only thrusted upon me, but to everyone who is creative and have powerful in their own respective, individual rights.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: Originally said by Lars in the 2010 [[Lars Call]]. Chris then used it almost nine years later. Likely a pun on the sports drink Gatorade.
</blockquote>
;[[heart level]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's way of measuring his emotional state

<blockquote>''100% Change the number to change your '''heart level''' and you can write a sentence to indicate how you feel.''<ref>[[Heart_level]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The concept of the "heart level" most likely stems from Chris's inability to understand emotions. As an alternative, Chris tends to use video game terms in order to measure such emotions.</blockquote>

;heal
<blockquote> 1. ''(verb)'' to ejaculate into someone.

<blockquote>''Had I Not '''healed''' her, she would be dead Late August.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris had somehow come to the conclusion that sex with his mother would make her more youthful, hence "healing" her.

</blockquote>

;heartsweet
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a [[sweetheart]].

<blockquote>''Rosey, as often as birds tweet, will you be my lovely '''heartsweet'''?''<ref name=OdeToRosechu>"[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]"</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Rearrangement of "sweetheart," possibly coined initially to provide more rhyming options in poetry. Chris primarily uses this term in Sonichu's dialogue, as the character's pet name for Rosechu. When speaking for himself, Chris tends to prefer "sweetheart," although the trolls use "heartsweet" in conversation with him.

''See also: [[sweetbolt]]''
</blockquote>

;heavyweight
[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|Chris does NOT look like Chris Farley]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Stockboy; person employed to move heavy objects and perform other menial labor.

<blockquote>If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY. [...] If I have to I would be, get one of the '''heavyweights''', that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store.<ref name=FatherCall/></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' heavy.

<blockquote>I do not think Chris Farley looks like me at all, plus he was a LOT more '''heavyweight''' than me, and he was more wild than me.<ref>[[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, as usual, has to repurpose words rather than use the existing words that already mean what he wants to say.
</blockquote>

;hedgehog-defensive (or hedgehog)
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Protecting oneself by curling up into a ball, just like a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hedgehog]].

<blockquote>And I do understand all that. Believe me, and I need not be reminded of the worst part, but my '''hedgehog-defensive''' state and all of the tears and leaking mucus and whole body paralysis that happened to me then and there will haunt me in reminder of that.<ref>[[TooManyGames#Personal_space_talk]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>@MLPSilverQuill, having one’s own spirit killed is really not fun nor funny at all. And, believe me, I was literally in a worse huddled position than what I see here, and I FELT DEVASTATED at that moment. I went full '''Hedgehog Defensive''' and let my quills keep others back. It Hurts<ref>[[April_2019_social_media_posts#Hedgehog-defensive_state]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Replacing the likes of his [[Megatron pistol]] and his [[pepper spray]], Chris has adapted the habit of rolling up into a ball to protect himself from unwanted physical contact. The protective state he dubs "the hedgehog-defensive state" is most likely based off of the spin-dash attack from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, which the titular character uses to attack foes.</blockquote>

;[[hermaphrodite]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A derogatory term for passing transgender women, particularly those that haven't gotten bottom surgery.

<blockquote>''OH MY GOD!!! UGH!!! ARE YOU REALLY A '''HERMAPHRODITE'''?! I'm sorry, but that naughty picture just really shocked me and made me want to throw up. *deep breath* You do have a pretty face, but what happened just now is just like the movie, "The Crying Game", or the Thanksgiving episode of "The Cleveland Show".''<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap, again!]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' A person of an ambiguous gender, or who is female, who also has a penis.

<blockquote>If a '''Hermaphrodite''', I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin:A misuse of the archaic term for intersex people. Chris appears to use this term to refer to someone he deems as "almost a woman", which is also shown when he referred to some of his female characters as "all female" when having their penises removed. Chris used this term when he noticed that the sweetheart [[Bailey Jay]] had a penis, and she explained to him her experiences as a transwoman. Chris also notably talked about how if he had a "hermaphrodite" as one of his offspring, he'd raise them as a boy. Chris's rather specific usage of this term also shows some of his prior beliefs about gender before he transitioned himself, such as who he deemed "male" or "female" in the first place.</blockquote>

;[[HEXBox]]
[[File:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any of the video game consoles made by Microsoft, primarily the Xbox 360.

<blockquote>I never cared for the '''HEXBox''', and frankly it LACKS heavily in comparison to the Wii and PS3, PLUS YOU HAVE TO PAY THEIR FEES TO EVEN GO ONLINE OR DOWNLOAD DEMOS WITH IT.</blockquote>

Origin: Due to his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Brand Loyalty]], Chris had an irrational hatred for the XBox, simply because of how much you've got to pay for it to access some of its content<ref>[[Mailbag_5]]</ref>. Because Chris viewed this device as a curse to humanity, he tacked the word "hex", which is defined as being a curse, onto the original name of the console.</blockquote>

;hide behind/under his mother's skirt
<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' To behave in a cowardly, immature fashion.

<blockquote>''You come to me now. Come face me like a man. Unless you want to continue being called a cow-a quivelling coward who '''hides under his mother's skirt'''.''<ref>[[Challenge for Clyde II]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An antiquated phrase alluding to children literally hiding behind their mother's skirts when frightened.
</blockquote>

;hippo on one's head
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A predicament or unpleasant situation one is currently facing

<blockquote>''I'M WET. I'M COLD. THERE'S A HIPPO ON MY HEAD. AND CLEARLY, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN.''<ref>[[:File:JailArt15.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Someone's [[wikipedia:Hippocampus|hippocampus]]

<blockquote>''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)''<ref>[[:File:FSM2.PNG]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris states in an e-mail directed at [[Regina Novakova]] that the phrase originated as an example of his [[random-access humor]], apparently as a pun of the word "hippocampus". Following from this, he would famously use the term in a [[HippoOnYourHead|Flipnote animation]] of a person literally getting crushed by a falling hippo, and then use the term several more times to describe the "weight" of the hippo on people's heads. He has lately used this term to describe his struggles with being in jail in a drawing sent to [[Praetor]].

</blockquote>

;[[homo]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A male homosexual

<blockquote>''Yes; the '''Homos''' I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref></blockquote>''

2. ''(noun)'' A non-passing transgender woman, particularly one Chris doesn't deem an authentic woman

<blockquote>''So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male, 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.''

''Anyway, that's my response for now.''

''Damn '''homo'''.''<ref>[[Response to ADF]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(adjective)'' homosexual

<blockquote>''Every one of you who thinks I'm '''homo''' and calls me that—-because I am not; I'm straight! I'm straight!''<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

4. ''(adjective)'' relating to homosexuals

<blockquote>''Again, to reiterate the issue, THE GOD DAMN F***IN' '''Homo''' Ads MUST BE GONE!''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris had a hatred for homosexuals, out of fear that he'll become one himself. Even uttering words like "gay" and "homosexual" would make him uncomfortable. Chris also believed that those that strayed too much from their assigned gender at birth would turn out as being gay, which explains his defensiveness towards his more effeminate traits.</blockquote>

;[[Honest Content|honest]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' NSFW, containing adult content.

<blockquote>''Parental Advisory - VERY '''HONEST''' content.''<ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only has a slightly good understanding of what honesty is. However, Chris doesn't seem to understand when it's most appropriate to be honest. In his mind, to attract mates, he has to be honest all of the time, even if this includes instances of his sexual misadventures. Chris knows that he's not supposed to discuss such topics publically with ordinary people, so he would have to keep such things in secret. Therefore, in his mind, it would be the honest thing to do to discuss such actions.
</blockquote>

;Hurtful Truth Level
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A point at which honest criticism should be stopped so as to avoid hurting a person's feelings, regardless of the usefulness of the advice.

<blockquote>''And another thing, When constantly exceeding that '''Hurtful Truth Level''' to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Said in an email to Jackie after she had pointed out several glaring flaws in Chris's lifestyle and personality. Rather than take her criticism to heart and improve himself, he got angry and defensive, wishing that she would show sympathy for him instead.
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== I ==
|-
|

;I can feel the cosmos
[[File:I can feel the cosmos.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Statement of achievement and oneness with the universe.

<blockquote>''I promise, uh, three da—three pages a day, drawn or colored, but, also with the, uh, website, and God/Jesus's support, I feel like... we will be seeing many new—many new thing. The website will be better. '''I can feel the cosmos!''' Peace.''<ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Inspired by a line from the game Katamari Damacy, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmWxNFq6_3U "Oh, I feel it. I feel the cosmos."]
</blockquote>

;I got a fish

<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Claim that one owns a fish.

<blockquote>'''''I got a fish!''' Would ya like to make a wish?''
''I got a fish Would ya like to make a wish?''
''I got a fiiiiiiiiish! Would ya like to make a wish?''<ref>[[I_Got_A_Fish]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a song of the same name, where Chris's [[random-access humor]] shines.</blockquote>

;I HATE ME TOO!!!

<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' A self-destructive phrase used to attempt to gain pity from trolls

<blockquote>''You know what, '''I HATE ME TOO!!!'''''<ref>[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used as part of the title of a gallery found on Chris’s [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Page.
</blockquote>

;[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expressed angrily when you wish to break someone apart to kill them

<blockquote>''Jason Kendrick Howell... you BASTARD! BASTARD! You hacked into everything! You have driven me so beyond the wall, I can't even DESCRIBE it! YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW, BUT... '''I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!''' Goodbye!''<ref>[[Jason Kendrick Howell message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used as a [[death threat]] to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after he has hacked Sonichu.net.</blockquote>

;I'm workin' on it!
<blockquote>1. ''(exclamation)'' An exclamation that you are working on something important.

<blockquote>'''I'm workin' on it!''' I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...<ref>[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used repeatedly by Chris to assure to [[Bob]] that he is doing his best to take down information about 14 Branchland Court from the Internet.</blockquote>

;IBAChandler
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Abbreviation for "I be a chandler," i.e., "I am a person named 'Chandler.'"

<blockquote>''I am so sick of hearing that stupid name that somebody made up back when I had that '''IBAChandler''' account, and I be a Chandler. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my last name.''<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(proper noun)'' [[YouTube]] username in use by Christian Weston Chandler during his conflict with [[Liquid Chris]], leading trolls to accuse Chris of being an impostor of Liquid named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]].

3. ''(proper noun)'' Name of a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' villain based upon Liquid Chris, ironically named for the real Chris's alias.

<blockquote>'''''I B A Chandler''', And I am here to copycatly sieze claim of you hedgehogs and this city from your absent mayor's domain.''<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], page 79</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Inspired by [[Bob Chandler]]'s license plate, "I B MR C" ("I be Mister C.").<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;ID
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Identifying.

<blockquote>''"That is the difference between Trans Gender and Vestites; '''ID''' as the other sex, and dressing like it, respectively"''<ref name=Vestites>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris argues semantics]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly derived from ID meaning "Identification". </blockquote>

;[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the extremely high probability that any woman Chris talks to is not [[CWC-isms#boyfriend-free|boyfriend-free]].

<blockquote>''With the '''infinitely high Boyfriend-Factor''', I am not fond of about 99.999999999996% of the total male population, with a margin-of-error of the 4 billionth of a percent (for about 100 men) of whom are okay acquaintences.''<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris is aware the general chances of him finding a sweetheart are extremely slim. Not willing to admit he's not at all attractive to most women, Chris blames it on the fact that most men are "jerks", and that one probably is already dating the woman he's trying to latch onto.</blockquote>
;information overload

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An act of spamming a webpage with pictures.

<blockquote>''I had thought the '''Information Overload''' would somehow Take Down the page; I admit that I was mistaken.<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: When Chris saw all of the explicit pictures on his Encyclopedia Dramatica page, he decided that the best course of action would be to spam the article with his own pictures. His logic was that if he kept doing this faster than the other editors, they'd have to delete the article, as they just wouldn't catch up with him.
</blockquote>

;instinction

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An instance of something being used a certain way.

<blockquote>''Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all '''instinctions''' and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"''<ref name=IRC2January09/></blockquote>

Origin: Once again an instance of Chris trying to sound smart by using a word that sounds foreign to him, made up or otherwise. The end result, however, gives the impression that Chris isn't familiar with the word "instances".

</blockquote>

;intersex

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Relating to any gender identity outside of the gender binary.

<blockquote>''As a Tomgirl, '''Intersex''' of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser, I am in full support for Human Equal Rights for everyone."''<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out... kinda]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used the term "intersex" interchangeably with the term "transgender" on many occasions, and also uses it to refer to Silvana, who actually is intersex. This gives the impression that when he talks about something being "intersex", he means that it isn't entirely "male" or "female".

</blockquote>

;[[Iron Curtain|iron curtain]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The mostly hermetic seal between [[Reality Cartoon]]s, such as the [[Chris and reality|real world]] and the fictional universe containing [[CWCville]], that prevents the [[Dimensional Merge]] from proceeding.

<blockquote>''But we are getting increasing magics, here, with more and more opening portals and growing tears and cracks in the '''iron curtain'''''.<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Chris begs; posts creepy photo of Barb]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Coined by Sir Winston Churchill in 1946 to refer to the limits of Russian intrusion into central Europe after the War. Chris presumably heard it once in [[Manchester High School|history class]] and forgot what it meant, unless he is comparing his fictional world to the [[Chris and censorship|Soviet Union]]. Alternatively it was fed to him by the [[Idea Guys]].

''See Also:'' [[#F|fourth wall]]</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== J ==
|-
|
;Jail of Fail
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A rather unappealing jail to reside in.

<blockquote>''I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type, you may Remember her (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good, alongside Many (Good) Angels, Spirits, and OP allies in and around this '''Jail of Fail'''. We presently have a genuine Turkish Prayer Rug and a deck of Playing Cards from the Commisary, along with very much appreciated Sports Bra, Socks with no holes, Earplugs, and a few other goodies.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Said in a letter to the long-time orbiter and enabler, [[Kenneth Engelhardt]].

</blockquote>

;janekop
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A female [[CWC-isms#jerkop|jerkop]].

<blockquote>''YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. SO SAYS THIS '''JANEKOP'''.''<ref>[[Feelings of the election results]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whereas the term "jerkop" is a portmanteau of the CWC-ism "jerk" and the word "cop", janekop is a portmanteau of the words "jane" and "cop". The word "jane" is a slang word for "woman". <ref>https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jane</ref>
</blockquote>
;[[JERKS|jerk]]
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. Any male other than Chris and his dad in general, particularly those that Chris dislikes, especially one that gets in the way of his LoveQuest.

<blockquote>''On the flip side, I feel discomfort around men, because they can be such mean and cruel '''jerks'''.''<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The term "jerk" is generally defined as "A person with unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior, typically mean, self-centered or disagreeable".<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/jerk#Etymology_1</ref> As stated in the quote above, Chris believes that all men to be cruel, selfish, and overall unlikeable. Therefore, he views almost all men as jerks.
</blockquote>
;[[Jerkop|jerkop]]
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. An official of the law.

<blockquote>''I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid '''Jerkops'''.''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Since Chris views most officers of the law as jerks, due to how often they'd thwart his LoveQuest, the term is a portmanteau of "jerk" and "cop". Possibly a pun on the word "jerkoff", which is defined as being "a contemptible man".<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/jerk--off</ref></blockquote>

;[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAAAAY]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|Chris preparing for hanky-panky with Julie, using a blow-up doll no less]]
<blockquote>''(interjection)'' 1. An expression used by Chris to indicate how much he'd love having sex for the first time with [[Julie]]

<blockquote>"Oh, Julie...'''JULAAAAAY''', JULAAAAAAAAAAY!!!"<ref>[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris first shouted this infamous CWC-ism in the video [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]. He originally intended to share this video privately with [[Julie]], (unaware that 'she' was actually a 13-year-old male troll), to show what their first date would amount to, despite this breaking his Three Date Rule. Seeing how Chris was somewhat of a porn junkie,<ref>[[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref> Chris must have picked up that during sexual intercourse, one of the people may shout the name of the other person in order to "spice up" the orgy. When the video got leaked soon after, the term started to be used by trolls humorously, to the point where [[weens]] started using the phrase in excess, making the CWC-ism lose its luster.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;jumping the shark
<blockquote>''(verb)'' 1. To start over from scratch

<blockquote>"I am moving out of this Twitter into creating a new one I created, @CPU_CWCSonichu. New and renewed followers will all be screened by my ally, as to keep out the Haters and Harassers. Starting up new and fresh. '''Jumping The Shark''' from old to new"<ref>[[Misc texts#CPU_CWCSonichu]]</ref>

</blockquote>

Origin: The term "jumping the shark" humorously refers to the point where something once popular which has begun to lose its viewer base pulls an extreme stunt in hopes of garnering attention. The term comes from an episode of the television show ''Happy Days'', where Fonzie literally jumped over a shark while water skiing. Ironically enough, despite Chris's misuse of the phrase, many people could easily say that the comic of Sonichu and Chris as a person have "jumped the shark" several times, especially with [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcons]] and- of course- Chris's change into a [[Transgender|transwoman]].

</blockquote>

;Junkeon

<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A selfish, arrogant, and ignorant jerk that was raised by another selfish, arrogant, and ignorant jerk.

<blockquote>"But, yeah, you have these kinds of people raising kids of their own? Are they seriously fit to have and raise children of their own?! I feel even more sorry for those children, because that brings in not only a bunch of f*** up bullies and potential worse than arrogant narcissists, but essentially a bunch of '''Junkeons''' who will have a Very Limited vocabulary and mentality. WILL they actually mean what they say, or will they be constantly, meaninglessly quoting memes and tv shows? I feel it is clear.<ref>[[April 2026 social media posts#Rant against Kiwi Farms]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misspelling of "[[Transformers|Junkion]]", which Chris uses to chastise his haters in a Twitter post.

</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== K ==
|-
|
;kawaii
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' cute or adorable.

<blockquote>''Also, I have thought up something '''kawaii''' we can talk about; Makeup and Fashion ideas.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 28]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''That look really suits you; you look so '''kawaii''' and cool.😊''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1209184205776797697</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The Japanese word for cute, once popular in the English-speaking anime/manga and fashion subcultures. Chris has used this word in almost all cases where he describes anything he thinks is cute and cuddly, more so in recent times, where the use of this word is no longer taken seriously, and seen as more of a joke to poke fun at [[Joshua Wise|weeaboos]].</blockquote>

;[[Kick the Autistic]]
[[File:CWC gets kicked.jpg|thumb|A self-administered kick]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' America's favorite game

<blockquote>''I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CRYSTAL. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, '''"KICK THE AUTISTIC!"''' *sigh*''<ref>[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Any action which involves doing something to Chris that he doesn't like

<blockquote>''And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of '''"KICK THE AUTISTIC"''', then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.''<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(noun)'' Any form of discrimination towards Chris for being [[autism|autistic]].

<blockquote>''And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of "'''Kick the Autistic'''". I'm gonna need all the luck I can get. *Game Over*''<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris had this paranoid idea that the whole world is going against him and his goals, solely due to his autism. In this sense, the fact that so many people supposedly wanted to thwart his goals made him feel like he was being "kicked" around. </blockquote>

;Kra-Kow!

<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase indicating that Chris roasted someone.

<blockquote>''What? I’m just telling the truth. I hear and see WORSE shit from you Haters. At this point, I’d rather look back in that memory than PTSD over y’all’s Hate-Filled content. '''Kra-Kow!'''''<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1231269768310722560</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly [https://www.pinterest.com/pin/318700111138943542/ a comic strip] from Calvin and Hobbes. Most likely inspired by the sound lightning makes.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== L ==
|-
|

;Laughs Under Lucricities
[[File:LULZ.jpg|thumb|"[[C-Log 03182026|For the LULZ!]]"]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(backronym)'' backronym for "LULZ"

<blockquote>''Although, F.Y.I., "LULZ" is short for "'''Laughs Under Lucricities'''"''<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Any form of humor made at Chris's expense

<blockquote>''... your bully of a boyfriend is the Original Author of the "Chris-chan" page that was put up there for the "LULZ", "'''Laughs Under Lucricities'''". Which I don't have to tell you is not only mean and cruel, the page is HORRIBLE''<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#August]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: It's likely that Chris first heard of lulz on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]-<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008#August]]</ref> the slogan of which is "in lulz we trust"- and thus forever associated the term with trolling. Originally he would simply say "LULZ" ''ought'' to stand for "Laughs Under Lucricities," but he soon began implying that it already does.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2008|Email]] from Chris to Robert Simmons V on 12 August 2008</ref> Lucricities is seemingly a combination of "lucrid" (another non-word with apparent negative connotations that Chris has used<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 48]]</ref>) and "ludicrous" but falls short of being a portmanteau and is more like the result of a head-on collision of the English language.

</blockquote>

;lesbian soul
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' What Chris believes to be his true [[Chris and sexuality|sexuality]].

<blockquote>''I am an all-around, good natured, high-functioning autistic, Female '''Lesbian Soul''', and Transwoman, artist, gamer and creative type.''<ref>https://www.facebook.com/pg/cwcville/about/</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris declared himself transgender, he continued to be attracted to exclusively to biological females regardless of their own sexual orientation.<ref>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's]]</ref> Thus, Chris became a lesbian. As a way to assert to detractors that he was a lesbian, Chris cited himself as having a "lesbian soul" despite previously living as a straight man for thirty years.

 </blockquote>
;level-up king
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Master of [[card games]].

<blockquote>''There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the '''level up king'''!"''<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Follow-up]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Before his permanent ban from the [[GAMe PLACe]], Chris would play games of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh with some of the other customers. Despite his sick obsession with both games, Chris never developed any type of strategy to compete with other players, making it very difficult to succeed at the game, even when he played against small children. Eventually, when the shop was just down to six people, which included Chris, the manager, [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]], and [[Lucas]], Chris did win a match against a relatively new player, and excitedly jumped up and down at this accomplishment like a child. Along with this, he shouted the phrase "I AM THE LEVEL-UP KING!"</blockquote>

;like, you know
<blockquote>1. ''(discourse particle)'' Space filler during sentence.

<blockquote>''I don't want too much conflict to happen, '''like, you know'''. You wouldn't want too much conflict to happen, like, you know. I mean-like, you know, between you and him any further. Yeah.''<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's speech consists mostly of uh's, um's, and other vocalized pauses.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;live from home once again
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' An introduction stating that one is recording themselves from their home.

<blockquote> ''Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you '''live from home once again''' and we're going to talk about the recent and more obvious topic, of "The Dimensional merge". Yes! This dimension! Right here! 1218. Is going to be merged with our sister dimension "C197" where all of our s- where most of our superheroes, super-villains, OCs, and what have you, and other characters, consisted, have been existing and co-existing. Yep!''<ref>[[Dimensional Merge Announcements]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This phrase became Chris's typical means of starting his videos since late 2015, replacing the famous Captain's Log. Although it is sometimes used appropriately (i.e. livestreams), Chris uses the phrase even in prerecorded videos that are not, in fact, live.</blockquote>

;[[Love Quest]]
<blockquote>1.''(noun)'' Chris's former on-going search for a sweetheart.

<blockquote>''As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring '''LOVE QUEST'''!''<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: Since attending [[PVCC]], Chris has embarked on a 15-year long quest to find his true love. Chris constantly failing to achieve this goal was what gave this CWC-ism its name.</blockquote>

;lovehog
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A lover in a relationship between two [[CWC-isms#E|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]].

<blockquote>''Also, I have finished the drawing for you, and I have shown off the Original '''LoveHog''' Couple's Wedding Rings, and their three children: Cerah Rosey, Robbie Sonee and (Shiney Rosey) Christine Rosey.''<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 4]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehog".</blockquote>

;lucricities
<blockquote>1. ''(pl. noun)'' lurid acts or motivations

Origin: Chris completely made this word up, presumably based on "lucrid," which may in turn be based on the actual word "lurid." According to Chris, the word "lulz" can mean either "Laughs at my expense" or "Laughs under lucricities," so presumably the two contexts are equivalent.
</blockquote>

;lucrid
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' obscene, profane, wicked
<blockquote>''And promoting the hatred, and...drawing such loose—such '''lucrid''' mockeries is not gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way...''<ref name=csm>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. Possibly a corruption of "lurid," given the context. Alternatively, it might be a corruption of "ludicrous." Chris has used this word to describe the homoerotic/dickgirl art on the ED page, as well as the fan comic in which he was depicted as a man-baby. Ironically, even before Chris used this word
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== M ==
|-
|

;majorly

<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' very, really

<blockquote>''Well, at the mall today, my heart had a extremly fast recovery, then it became '''Majorly''' Shattered again.''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005|CWC's Diary: 29 March]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''That Cake Cost Me $11!!! UGH! What a '''majorly''' royal waste.''<ref>[[Cakefarts#Later thoughts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A stilted word used likely because has more syllables (thus making it sound smarter to Chris) than the regular ones it replaces.</blockquote>

;make one's own peeps n' poops

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to urinate and deficate at the same time

<blockquote>''Uh, actually, uh, actually Crystal is uh, doing, is uh, doing her preschool homework, and uh, Reg-, and Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' babychild! '''Made his lil' peeps n' poops'''! And he went, and he went weewee all over the bathroom.''<ref>[[PlayingHouse]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from a clip of Family Guy, where Herber the Pervert is letting his dog out to "make his pees n' poops". <ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtlwEfZEmrg</ref></blockquote>

;Mama
[[File:Christine and pikachu.jpg|right|thumb|Mama Christine with a [[Sonee]].]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' What Chris refers to himself as when roleplaying as one of his [[OCs]].

<blockquote>''I am going to some shopping and donating amongst the artists affected by the COVID virus of this Dimension, on behalf of '''Mama''', Chris Chan Sonichu. Thank you, again, to the individual who bought the book set recently. Still waiting for the set of #TSSSF cards to sign and offer.''<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1251259373810302977</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes himself to be a parent to his characters. Since he identifies as a woman, he has given himself the alias “Mama”. Chris further shows his lack of self-awareness by not realizing how awkward it is to have anyone, even his own characters (who are presumably teenagers) refer to him as such.</blockquote>

;[[Manajerks|manajerk]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a store manager

<blockquote>'' two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT!''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]] (20 July)</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A portmantau of "manager" and "jerk". </blockquote>

;[[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' akin to to Mary Lee Walsh

<blockquote>''She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, '''Mary Lee Walshing''', Witch Bitch!''<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's ongoing resentment against his old college dean has led him to compare a Wal-Mart manager who banned him from her store to Walsh. He apparently fails to comprehend that the "-ing" suffix is generally associated with verbs.</blockquote>

;mashed potato grenade

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a [[Wikipedia:Stielhandgranate|Stielhandgranate]], a special German hand grenade with a handle.

<blockquote>''I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my '''mashed potato grenade''' could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder.''<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a Facebook post sent to [[Megan Schroeder]] accusing her of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|ban]] from the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game Place]], where he [[Chris and reality|makes paranoid claims]] of what she, [[Mimms]], [[Lucas]], and [[Snyder]] were thinking that day. A corruption of "potato masher grenade", a common English nickname of the Stielhandgranate<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stielhandgranate</ref>.</blockquote>

;[[Mass debating|mass debate]]
[[File:Mass_Debate.jpg|right|thumb|Massive Debating]]
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to pleasure one's self; to masturbate

<blockquote>''I've actually done it '''mass debating''' to myself so many times, even with a hunk of - even with an inflatable plastic woman...''<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This particular euphemism comes from Chris's tendency to refrain from using inappropriate language, as well as his unusual variation of a southern accent combined with a minor speech impediment.</blockquote>

;mental block

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's autism

<blockquote>''And, uh, during my high school years, I was used to being surrounded by… girls… in my circle, and after having to, uh, leave them I felt ever so lonesome. And, after the stress from some of the people—people at PVCC, as well as my '''mental block''' of autism, it became hard from me to approach gir—approach the girls like I used to.''<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris refers to his [[autism]] as a "mental block" because he believes the term refers to a disability. In his case, his supposed disability to socialize with girls. In reality, a mental block is the inability to remember a specific thing at a given moment. <ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_block</ref></blockquote>

;Meta

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' being able to break through the fourth wall.

<blockquote>''Also, there is no problem with breaking your own fourth wall with us from your dimension, here. Go '''Meta'''. We are certainly Meta with and for you all as well.''<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#Homelander and C-197]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: From the Greek prefix meaning "after" or "beyond". Chris views all cartoons as being on a dimension higher than our own. According to him, being able to break through the iron curtain entails obtaining a higher mode of consciousness.
</blockquote>

;mislabel

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to put a label on Chris or any of his creations in a way he doesn't like, regardless of truth
2. ''(noun)'' a label of such slanderous nature; see also "misunderstanding"
<blockquote>''I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE '''Mislabeling''' than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again? ''<ref>[[Common Questions#1_February_2010]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Just about everywhere. He appears to use this term as often as the word "slanderous". Curiously, the redundancy "ill-mislabeling" (as if there were any other kind) has appeared once.<ref>[[CWC Blog#28_December_2009]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;misspeak

<blockquote>1.''(verb)'' to lie

<blockquote>''Sometimes, I have '''misspoke'''. But you are more important to me than ANYTHING. Believe me! I swear. Hand to God. And on my Bible. I'd have to go look for it.''<ref>[[ToJackie]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on [[Lies|his bullshit]], Chris prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this ploy.

</blockquote>

;misunderstanding

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a deliberate view that contradicts Chris; see also "mislabel"
<blockquote>''*AND WE WILL NOT TAKE THE '''MISUNDERSTANDINGS''', THE MISLABELS, AND ALL THE LIKE SITTING DOWN!!!''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|1=Issue_9/Page_39|2=Issue 9 Page 39}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Misappropration. Note that it is not, as in reality,<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misunderstanding Merriam-Webster Dictionary, "misunderstanding"]</ref> a mistaken notion (alternatively a dispute) based on faulty information, but a malicious action worthy of [[tard rage]]. Apparently a slanderous troll has to actively "misunderstand" Chris. Also, Chris has used the related word "misunderstood" (participle adjective) as an insult, not realizing that if the troll misunderstood (transitive verb) him, ''Chris'' would be the one that was misunderstood (participle adjective).<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Rosechu_the_transwoman|Mailbag 39]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;modnar
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' random

<blockquote>''I may be '''modnar''', but I try not to be offensive, and if I do, then I am sorry. I can not please Everyone.''<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: "Random", spelt backwards.</blockquote>

;[[Monthly tugboat|monthly tugboat]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's Social Security Disability Service

<blockquote>"I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a '''monthly tugboat.'''"<ref>[[Monthly tugboat#References by Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris apparently coined the term "Monthly Tugboat" due to a comparison he makes between gaining money through his SSDS vs. winning the lottery. In his mind, winning the lottery is like riding a "Luxury ship that can easily sink", while gaining money from the government is the same as getting cargo from a ship pulled by a tugboat. <ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12]]</ref></blockquote>

;morrow

<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' Synonym for moral.

<blockquote>''The '''Morrow''' remains: Look up to whoever and whatever you like as your childhood hero like no one else is watching you; remain proud with your choice and preference. 💜⚡️''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Chris supports playing with whatever toys you want]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Unknown, possibly a corruption of the word moral. Used exclusively by Magi-Chan during Chris month-long twitter roleplay in August and September of 2019.
</blockquote>

;Mother Nature errand
<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' The bodily urge to either [[Piss|urinate]] or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|defecate]].

<blockquote>''All right, well, ladies, it’s been fun, but I gotta split and take care of ah... y’know, a '''Mother Nature errand'''.''<ref>[[Sonichu Home Club]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A peculiar take on the idiom "call of nature".
</blockquote>

;[[Muscle bra|muscle bra]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A sports bra used for covering a man's bare chest.

<blockquote>''And you know what, I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a '''muscle bra'''. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.''<ref>[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Contributing to his previous fear of the homos, Chris also had a fear of seeing the bare chests of other men out of fear that it'll make him gay. He therefore suggested that men cover their chests under penalty of the law. Chris most likely blended the terms "muscle shirt" and "sports bra".</blockquote>

;my two bolts and a heart

<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' Chris's opinion or takeaway on something.

<blockquote>''Okay. I get serious creep and dark vibrations from all of this. I mean, you may do as you will if it feels right with you. Just '''my two bolts and a heart'''.''<ref>[[April_2021_social_media_posts#Dark_vibrations]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's version of the idiomatic expression "my two cents", referencing his emoji signature "⚡️💙⚡️". Chris has also used a similar phrase before while roleplaying as Sonichu, shortening it to just "my two bolts."<ref>[[Sonichu reads and critiques a Fanfic by The Crimson Libertarian]]</ref></blockquote>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== N ==
|-
|

;[[naïve]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' dumb, lacking intelligence.

<blockquote>''You are such a cowardly, '''naïve''', retarded, individual.''<ref>[[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers]]</ref ></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only seems to understand the most simplified definition of the word. In general terms, the word "naïve" is defined as "showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment."<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/naive</ref> However, in Chris's mind, the word is used to "question one's intelligence". Despite his distaste for the use of the word on him, this turns out to be a commonly used insult by Chris.</blockquote>

[[File:FRENCH-NAVY-CameraObscura.jpg|thumb|Chris travels to France]]
;navy
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' semen.

<blockquote>''You know that, uh—first off, uh, the one... with the '''navy''' being drunk. Yeah. Som—yeah. A b—a—i—a—it's a good idea somet—uhhh... it's a... it's a good idea. But, uh, you know, you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but, uh... I recycle my own semen''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Play on words, i.e, a navy is a collection of seamen/semen.

''See also: [[CWC-isms#C|Comeuppance]]''
</blockquote>

;nearly same
<blockquote>1. ''(Adjective)'' Similar.

<blockquote>''And so I killed about- killed about twenty miles round trip for gas to go find her house. But it turns out that was a troll posing as that girl. [sighs] THE VOICES SOUNDED '''NEARLY SAME'''.''<ref>[[For Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;negligent

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[negligee]]

<blockquote>So, I went onto Adam & Eve's website, and ordered three garments, and a transparent robe. One of the '''negligent''' is about exactly on what I had drawn onto myself.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Sexy negligee]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An obvious mispelling of "negligee", a form of lingerie.

</blockquote>

;neurotypically hindered
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Lacking the proper mindset or intelligence to understand Chris's world building, just by being normal.

<blockquote>''Go ahead; that Is what happened that day, and they did not mind it much. To mock us makes you all Soo '''Neurotypically Hindered'''.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1203938198424035329</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes that the term "neurotypical" refers to having average brain function, rather than lacking any sort of mental condition.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1207129697752141824</ref> He believes that if one only possesses average intelligence, it makes it impossible for them to fully accept his fantasy world, thus claiming it as a "hindrance".

</blockquote>

;neutral
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' platonic.

<blockquote>''I apologize, but I meant the term '''neutrally''', and I never meant anything from that.''<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And One More thing, Darling!... Talluah Bankhead would be Insulted with your response to the term's '''neutral''' usage. Hmpf!'<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes words like "darling" and "dear", are gender neutral terms. Because of this, he assumes that if he claims that he used it in a "neutral" way, people will know he's not using the term in a romantic tone.

</blockquote>
<blockquote>2. ''(adjective)'' politically centrist or nonpartisan.

<blockquote>''He is a communist! And we do not like communists within this country! We are Republican, Democrat or ''' neutral'''... And I am '''neutral''', so I can go either way, but I do not exactly care much for communism!'<ref>[[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Niggo|niggo]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An African-American person.

<blockquote>''Chris: [sighs, raises his voice] BILLY MAYS IS THE NEW MAYER OF CWCVILLE!</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Max: Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail!" CWCville Jail.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Max: "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: Where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggos'''.''<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bastardization of the racial slur "nigger". This minced oath was used only once after [[BlueSpike]] persuaded Chris to say: "''BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville, and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers''". Chris decided to repeat this phrase, but he also thought he could "outsmart" BlueSpike by replacing "niggers" with "niggos" in order to avoid saying the offending word directly. Ironically, a whole year after the incident, Chris referred to [[Surfshack Tito]] as a "nigger" [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|several]] [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|times]], despite not even knowing what he looks like.</blockquote>

;No fucking shit / N.F.S.
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' obviously

<blockquote>''[[The WCT]]: Don't let [[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]] get close to you ever.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: '''No fucking shit'''.''<ref name=wctdms>[[WCT DMs]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''The WCT: The Sockness Saga will be something to watch when Geno gets there. ''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: '''N.F.S.'''.''<ref name=wctdms></ref></blockquote>

Origin: Another instance of Chris attempting to add unnecessary emphasis onto his writing.</blockquote>

;[[Nombie-zazis|nombie-zazis]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' zombie nazis

<blockquote>''Anyway, as for the medical study, and this will require your aid, Magi-Chan. In June of 2015, the scientists have found the gene-like molecule which makes a person turn...ugh..'''nombie-zazis'''.''<ref>[[:File:Son10revp3.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Replacement for homosexuals and homosexuality in the revised [[Sonichu 10]].</blockquote>

;not-troll
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a victim of trolling.

<blockquote>''Consider who does more harassing, which do you block? <ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-278#post-2549629]]</ref>
<blockquote>
*Every Foul-Mouth Troll
*The '''Not-Troll''' they follow</blockquote>''</blockquote>

Origin: In Chris's mind, only two types of people exist on [[the Internet]], those who are trolls, and those who are victims of trolling. Because the person being trolled is supposedly '''not''' a troll, they are a "not-troll". Chris eventually deleted the aforementioned post, and reposted it, replacing "not-troll" with "victim" to clarify what he was referring to in the first place.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-279</ref></blockquote>

;[[Noviophobia|noviophobia]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the fear that someone you want to date is already dating someone else.

<blockquote>''His one fault, that has restricted him from finding the Ms. Right, he had a major case of '''Noviophobia''', where he is afraid to even approach most ladies, because he thought that they were all already paired up with “A Jerk.”''<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Because Chris was so frustrated with so many [[CWC-isms#J|jerks]] stealing his potential mates, Chris decided that his envy and hatred of men was a real phobia. Thus, overconfident in his ability to speak [[Spanish]], formed the word "noviophobia" by using the Spanish word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English suffix, -phobia, meaning fear . </blockquote>
</blockquote>

|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== O ==
|-
|
;[[OC]]
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation, noun)'' Original Creator. A god or deity, including [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|Chris himself]].

<blockquote>''I recall that there was a Mythos about me online: myself, Chris Chan, I; I was an '''OC''' in my own stories; was I Real in this “Reality” that is Dimension 1218? And then I was confirmed in late 2007 with that blurry photograph of me in a moment of great shock and stress.''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(abbreviation, noun)'' Original Creation. A resident of a [[Reality Cartoon|cartoon dimension]]

<blockquote>''I am pleased to announce from this collab piece alone, we have ten Sonichu/Rosechu '''OCs''' confirmed for the OC Expansion Packs of our #TSSSF set of cards, and then some, as I’m also delegating with my other friends as well. This is going to be a massive and lovely OC party!''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Short for ''original character'', a common term used by fanfiction authors for characters invented by themselves and used in their stories yet not present in the source material. Chris believes that fictional characters [[Chris and reality|really]] exist in other [[dimensions]], and under the [[Idea Guys]]' influence was convinced they are deserving of worship. Beginning with the Console Patron Units from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'', he has since generalised this idea on his own.</blockquote>

;OH! MY AXELS! (or OW! MY AXELS!)
[[File:Axels2.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expression of pain in one's axles (the central shafts of rotating wheels or gears in a machine).

<blockquote>'''''OOOHHHHHH!!!! MY AXELS!!!!!'''''<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Written for [[Ghostbusters|Ghost Buggy]]'s cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], based upon the character's tendency to complain about its aching mechanical components.</blockquote>

;OH, MY CHRIS CHAN!
[[File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg|thumb|150px|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Exclamation uttered by Chris during his phases of holding a [[messiah complex]] and [[role-play]]ing as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].

<blockquote>''Why the Hell would you read that personal shit about [[Chris|Mama]] with [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Chris fucks himself|the penis thing]]? '''[[CPU Blue Heart|Oh, My Chris Chan]]!'''''<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Typed as a comment for the [[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]] episode involving an embarrassing email.</blockquote>

;old-fashioned<blockquote>
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Holding a belief that may be considered politically incorrect.

<blockquote>''But still, call me '''old-fashioned''' but, I'd rather be- I would not- I'd uh- I'd definitely wouldn't uh... NOT BLACK. Not black.''<ref>[[Mumble_4]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''My father is '''OLD FASHIONED'''; he NEVER gives thought to homos, and he HATES them too.''<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to regard most traditional beliefs and rituals to be offensive to the general public.

2. ''(adjective)'' Dating back to the 1980s.

<blockquote>''Ah, you can tell this is an '''old-fashioned''' Lego set on account of this—the old-fashioned "LegoLand" on the corner.''<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to believe anything that's been made more than 5 years ago is as old as dirt.

3. ''(adjective)'' Preferring real women over waifus.
<blockquote>''Nothing against waifus and the people who have them, but I Never Really understood the appeal and concept of making out a character from a show who is Dimensions Away from your own league to be any sort of a significant other to you. I’m more '''old-fashioned''' towards real women.''<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Opinion on waifus]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. However, Chris seemed to use this word like this because he's aware it isn't considered customary to be sexually attached to fictional characters over real people.

</blockquote>

;ounce of vagina

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Essentially Chris's way of saying "I'll at least lose my virginity at some point".

<blockquote>''And, as for you, Jason Kendrick Howell… as sure as I am to get at least one '''ounce of vagina''', I have your number, and you're going down!''<ref name=AttentionAll/></blockquote>

Origin: Obviously confused when it comes to both euphemisms and basic units of measure, Chris has stated that he is sure to get "at least one ounce of vagina" within his lifetime.<ref name=AttentionAll/> In the years since, he's gotten at least [[Mia Hamm|two]] [[Barbara Chandler|ounces]].
</blockquote>
;outercourse
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the act of stimulating someone else's genitals.

<blockquote>''I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of '''outtercourse''''' [sic]'' (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you.''<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The word "outercourse" is actually another way to refer to dry humping.<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/outercourse</ref> In Chris's mind however, outercourse simply refers to sex which involves touching another's genitals, because the action happen outside of the body.</blockquote>

;overinexperienced
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Being overly inexperienced.

<blockquote>''My Body is sexually overinexperienced, and Starved.''<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: It apparently didn't occur to Chris that sexual inexperience isn't the least bit comparative, at least not in the context where he intended to use this word.
</blockquote>

;overpowered (or OP)
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' A disproportionate amount of strength, which is worn as a badge of honor.

<blockquote>''If I was a neuro-typical mind, as opposed to '''overpowered''' psychic, I’d have gotten dizzy. ''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A term normally meant to refer to imbalance in game mechanics. Chris adopted the term at some point during or after the [[Idea Guys]] saga as a way to brag about his nonexistent psychic abilities and ludicrously powerful fictional characters.</blockquote>

{{clear}}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== P ==
|-
|

;parkay
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an epic style of running

<blockquote>''Hello there, fans! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown mall, where for the Sonichu franchise and city of CWCville, and everything like that, I'm gonna do a '''parkay''' from this point all the way down to the gara--parking garage where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held.''<ref>[[Sonichu's Edge]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], Chris calls his style of running "parkay". Chris confused his running as a form of parkour, an acrobatic sport typically used in the military as a means of practicing the navigation of a complex environment without the use of equipment. <ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour</ref>. Given Chris's [[speech impediment]], the word "parkour" somehow came out as "parkay".
</blockquote>

;[[Parody|parody]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any work that "borrows" characters, plots, or styles from other pieces of fiction, whether infringing International [[Chris and copyright|Copyright]] Law or otherwise.

<blockquote>''Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise '''parodic'''.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:Issue_8_Cover.jpg</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's understanding of what constitutes as a parody most likely comes from his interest in shows like [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]], the former of which use copyrighted characters to make jokes around them, and the latter of which parodied various clichés found in anime. In his mind, because those shows can get away with using such characters and scenes, that gives him an excuse to do the same thing in his comics as long as he states it's being done as a "parody". Ironically, Whenever Chris spoted an actual parody, he thought that the characters from the original work were being defaced.<ref>[[Parody#Chris does not understand the concept of parody]]</ref></blockquote>

;peanut
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Someone who disregards you, or otherwise does not accept you for who you are.

<blockquote>''So you enjoy it, just do it—don't worry about other people's opi—pinions. Because, uh, compared to the other schools, those people who disregard you are just total '''peanuts'''. And I'm not talkin' Charlie Brown; I'm talkin' 'bout the little nuts after the shells. The real peanut gallery. That would be peanuts, wouldn't it?''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: Apparently derived from "{{w|peanut gallery}}," a term used to describe the hecklers in an vaudeville audience who would throw peanuts at a performer. Chris's own spin on this concept is to dismiss such hecklers as being insignificant like literal peanuts.
</blockquote>

;[[Pedofork|pedofork]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A pedophile.

<blockquote>''I am not a '''pedofork''', you DORKS!!!''<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Created as a half-assed attempt to make "pedophile" rhyme with dork. Coined in Chris's [[Madman Rising]] video, in response to the trolls who were comparing him to [[wikipedia:Herbert_(Family_Guy)| Herbert the Pervert]] from ''Family Guy''.</blockquote>

;Pfalm
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The act of placing your palm over someone's face or the camera, as if it's the viewer's face.

<blockquote>''Be geek, be proud, pfaaaaaalm! Emgo; silly! Silly, silly person. Have a good day, be safe, be good.''<ref>[[CLog 10172017 - Medallion Making]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, it comes from the phrase "palm in your face" which is a phrase [[Emgo316]] uses, combining the words "palm" and "face".<ref>[[Random Thoughts (will be updated from time to time)]]</ref> Even though the CWC-ism was coined by Chris in 2017,<ref>[[Son-Chu Review]]</ref> it was not actively used until 2024.
</blockquote>

;[[Pickle|pickle]]
[[File:Pickle Rick.jpg|right|thumb|Chris bought this back in 2018. The brine-soaked irony!]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A penis, particularly one of [[JERKS|any man that isn't Chris]].

<blockquote>''Do me a favor, draw a VAGINA on my Rosechu, Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' '''PICKLE'''!!!!''<ref>[[:File:Chrisreply3.PNG]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The word "pickle" is one of the few hundred slang words for the word "penis".<ref>https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/PenisTesticlesSlang.pdf</ref> It is unknown why Chris prefers to refer to the penises of other men as "pickles", while he calls his own his "duck", but it may have to do with Chris's sexual insecurity and the fact that he legitimately hates actual pickles <ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates pickles]]</ref>, whereas Chris thinks he's special enough to have a cutesy name for his own penis.</blockquote>

;[[Pmurt]]

<blockquote>1. ''(proper noun)'' The 45th and 47th president of the United States: Donald Trump.

<blockquote>''EID '''PMURT''' EID!!!!!!''<ref>[[Eid, Pmurt, Eid]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Donald Trump's last name, but spelled backwards. In Chris's first usage of this CWC-ism, Chris mentioned how "Trump spelled backward is "Pmurt", which sounds like "hurt".<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>
Due to Chris's strong hatred for Trump, he frequently referred to Trump as Pmurt- believing that the spoken word of a backwards name has the power to degrade and weaken a person.<ref>[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref>. In Chris's eyes, if he repeated the word again and again, everyone would turn against Trump and start voting for [[Wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|Hillary]]. Unsurprisingly, Chris had no sway over the election aside from his own vote.
</blockquote>

;point at your snout and oink
<blockquote>1. ''(verb phrase)'' Do something humiliating to yourself.

<blockquote>''You both want me to even Beg, you can go '''point at your own damn snouts and Oink''' like Eric Cartman, and then [[Rape]] yourselves with your own Damn [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]] [[Sex toys|Dual LightSabre]].''<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A reference to a scene in the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "{{w|Scott Tenorman Must Die}}", where Scott makes Eric Cartman embarass himself by singing a song about being a "little piggy". Chris said this to [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Surfshack Tito]] upon failing to receive a cash bounty for destroying his own [[PlayStation 3]].
</blockquote>

;poke
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Marijuana.

<blockquote>''Anyway, eclectic! High on the hedge and high on the hog. You want some of this '''poke''', mon?<ref>[[CWC address to Royal Board]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Intended as a demonstration of what "Soni-Chew the Eclectic Heeedge Hog Poke Mon of London, England" would sound like. A coded reference to Pokémon, and may or may not be a play on the verb "toke".
</blockquote>

;[[Polyamorous marriage|polyamorous]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Polygamous.

<blockquote>''I go'' [sic] ''married to Magi-Chan Sonichu and Cryzel Rosechu last March, and then I married Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo last June. We all share a '''polyamorous''' relationship.''<ref>[[:File:Miss_Cherry_asks_Chris_about_his_marriages.png]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An etymologically malformed neologism from the 1970's for having multiple romantic or sexual relations at once, misapplied by Chris. </blockquote>

;prawns
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Subordinates or helpers, often those wittingly or unwittingly aiding a sinister character.

<blockquote>''You keep sending out your '''prawns''' to do your dirty work, you coward.''<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris almost certainly meant to type "pawns" here. </blockquote>

;[[Prickly-Wicklies|prickly-wicklies]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Punishments given for insulting or harming Chris.

<blockquote>''War gets you '''prickly-wicklies'''... as well as punches.''<ref>[[Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies#Possible origin]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Refer to ''Fuzzy-Wuzzies''.

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#F|fuzzy-wuzzies]]

</blockquote>

;[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb]]
<blockquote>1. ''(backronym)'' The headquarters of several Sonichu villains.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: The name itself is a backronym of the college Chris attended, the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. After experiencing several mishaps throughout his college experience<ref>[[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of English]]</ref><ref>[[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of college]]</ref>, the dean giving him the cold hard truth about why his [[Love Quest]] is doomed to fail became the straw that broke the camel's back, and Chris thought it would be a smart idea to deface the college afterward in his comics.</blockquote>

;prowldent
<blockquote>1. ''(???)'' Unknown.

<blockquote>There's no quote to cite this from, just a logo in which Chris gives the name "Prowldent Virginia Community College" to [[PVCC]].<ref>[[:File:ProwldentVCC.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Likely combining connotations of "prowl" and "dent" (either to leave an indentation or [[fangs|teeth]]).
</blockquote>

;Pu Tuhs!
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Shut Up!

<blockquote>''SHE; my Ariel Starter was Female from the start, so '''Pu Tuhs!'''''<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Favorite Pokemon]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: "Shut up" backwards. Because it is backwards, Chris thinks it is more debasing than the normal version of the phrase.
</blockquote>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Q ==
|-
|

;q-sand
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Short for quarter sandwich (i.e. a quarter of a sandwich).

<blockquote>
''So, mom ignored her and ate the '''q-sand''' in front of her.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Appeared in an [[Jackie E-mails 31|e-mail]] sent to [[Jackie]] dated August 5, 2011. Most likely unnecessarily used as a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|way past cool]] abbreviation.
</blockquote>

;quarters
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An office space; headquarters.

<blockquote>''Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her '''quarters''' and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY.''<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whenever Chris says that he's being brought to someone's office, he always refers to it as their "quarters", as if he was being brought to some kind of evil hideout. This could be to add unnecessary dramatic effect to his stories.

2. ''(noun, pl.)'' coins, no matter their origin or worth.

<blockquote>''Uhh. I want a soda, but it takes only C '''quarters''' and I only have W quarters. Do you have any change?''<ref>[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The first time this word was used like this was in [[Sonichu 9]], where it is revealed that [[CWCville]] issues its currency in the form of "C-quarters" and "W-quarters". According to this issue, 10 C-quarters, make up a single W-quarter, which ultimately defeats the whole concept of the "quarter" coin. Despite being a part of the United States, CWC-ville still issues this strange form of currency, along with US dollars. Because of this, Chris likely decided to refer to his currency as "quarters" so that it could technically count as US currency.</blockquote>

;quite
<blockquote>1. ''(exclamation)'' A fancy replacement of the word "right" or "correct".

<blockquote>''Arthur: Magi-Chan, it's because of his-- you know, he wants to help all of his friends, and with his ability to contact them all simultaenously at the same time, it's an amazing ability to have.</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Chris: '''Quite''', he is the psychic type, after all.''<ref name=CatKnight>[[CatKnight Interview]]''</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adverb)'' to the utmost or most absolute extent or degree; absolutely; completely.

<blockquote> ''Hm. Not enough to, uhh... Well, he knows quite-- he can see '''quite''' a bit far into the future, but although there are details of which you might not be able to see, a point or two.'' <ref name=CatKnight/></blockquote>

<blockquote>''For a hundred dollars? Th-that's, that's '''quite''', that's uh, it'd take more funds for me to, more funds than that for me to be able to acquire the material figures...''<ref name=CatKnight/></blockquote>

Origin: Chris infamously used this word, along with "indeed" ad nauseam in his interview with [[Arthur Spatchcock]], believing that doing so is essentially the same as speaking his language, British if you will.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== R ==
|-
|

;raincoat
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a condom.

<blockquote>''You ARE the woman...we gotta stop by [[Mal-Wart|Wall-Mall-Wart]] on the way for a "'''raincoat'''".''<ref>[[Sonichu 7 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The term "raincoat" is actually an archaic slang term for the word "condom".<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/raincoat</ref> Given that Chris has been raised by two geezers his whole life, and that part of his childhood has consisted of [[Gilligan's Island|old TV shows]], Chris thought that people would understand what he meant when he states that his Mary Sues are having protected sex with a raincoat.</blockquote>

;[[random-access humor]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' non-sequitur.

<blockquote>''Punchy grew up in a dojo, where he perfected his punches. He is also full of '''random-access humor'''. He lost his tail in a brutal fight.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP5.htm</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, his brain is completely random, and it always spews out incoherent garbage. In his mind, this works in the same way a computer processes random-access memory.<ref name=FatherCall/>

</blockquote>

;rapier
[[File:ReldnahcTheRapier .jpg|thumb|Reldnahc the Rapier]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun, attributive)'' rapist, sexual assailant.

<blockquote>
''Now! My '''rapier''' friend, I would very much like you to get off me, please.''<ref>[[Sonichu 12]], [[:File:SchuComic12-1P60.jpg|page 60]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris-Chan Sonichu calls [[Reldnahc_Notsew_Naitsirhc#Fictional_biography|Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] his "rapier friend" in [[Sonichu 12|Sonichu #12]] after Reldnahc tackles him to the ground in a suggestive pose and touches his chest, thus (in Chris's hyperbolic mind) "raping" him. As a double double entendre, he could also be using the externally attested definition, as an adjective meaning "witty",<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rapier#Adjective</ref> and metaphorically referring to a kind of thin, sharp-pointed sword. This is incredibly unlikely due to Chris's basic understanding of the English language, and he most likely didn't know "rapist" is the term for one who rapes, not raper or rapier.
</blockquote>

;reality cartoon

<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' The universe.

<blockquote>
''Life is a cartoon; we are all the characters of the larger; the cartoons we make are part of our own universe; we're all a '''reality cartoon'''.''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#"Life is a cartoon"]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Since Chris's life revolves mainly around [[Vidya]] and cartoons, it would make sense to him that the most believable explanation for the universe and everything in it is that it's all a cartoon. Likely related to Chris's known belief that [[Chris and reality#Fictional characters and media|all fiction actually exists in alternate universes]]. Chris's interactions with the [[Idea Guys]] made this idea seem even more plausible to him.
</blockquote>

;[[recycling]]

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' the act of one ingesting their own semen to preserve their sperm count.

<blockquote> I '''recycle''' my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref> </blockquote>

Origin: Chris, having [[Chris and science|very little knowledge]] of how the male reproductive system works, thinks that men can run out of sperm from masturbating or orgasming too much. Fearing the loss of "potential children", Chris actually thinks that by ingesting the sperm back into his body, his sperm count will stay in balance, thus, he is "recycling" it.

</blockquote>

;[[Redemption Arc]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's alleged period of redemption.

<blockquote> I am in my '''Redemption Arc'''. Please be kind to me, I have repented. All of you should be Soul Searching.<ref>[[:File:HarmonyCon Redemption Arc card.jpg]]</ref> </blockquote>

Origin: Named after the common trope found in fiction, where a villainous character atones for past actions.

</blockquote>

;reeb
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|Glug! Glug! Glug!]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' beer or any other alcoholic beverage of the like.

<blockquote>''Then he glugs his '''reeb''', heh-heh, and then he conks out.''<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, thinking he's so [[Slow-in-the-minds|clever]], decided to censor any mention of the word "beer" in his comics, by spelling the word backward.</blockquote>

;Resident-Evil refrigerator

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The refrigerator in the previous Chandler Household.

<blockquote>''Kitchen very much blocked off all over... with the '''Resident Evil refrigerator''' right there.''<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House II]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris refers to the fridge as the "Resident Evil" kind, because in Japan, the game ''{{w|Resident Evil}}'' is known as ''Biohazard''. Considering the quality of the household, that name may very well fit the description of the fridge in the state it was in before filming the [[Tour of Chris's House II|Second House Tour]].</blockquote>

;[[Respectable Frames]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's aviator glasses.

<blockquote>''Grandmother Glasses? These are Respectable Frames I have picked out from Wal-Mart.''<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris defends the pedo-glasses]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in [[Mailbag 20]] in protest of a troll disrespectfully calling his glasses "grandmother glasses".</blockquote>

;romps in the hay

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' sexual intercourse

<blockquote>''This page, by the way, was drawn before last March, so stuff Has Happened since then, it is all good. Go ahead and Muck It Up in your heads, Trolls; I Am BiSexual, and I Laugh at your Jokes. (Awesome Romps in the hay with him, as well as Cryzel)''<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has used this term since at least 2018.
</blockquote>

;[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The female counterpart of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]].</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: Derived from the appropriately named first Rosechu of CWCville, [[Rosechu]]. The name of the species is a portmanteau of the last name of the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' character, Amy Rose, and "Raichu", the evolved form of a Pikachu.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== S ==
|-
|

;[[saga]]
<blockquote>1 ''(noun)'' An ongoing event within Chris's life.

<blockquote>''A Sonichu Special: CWC's Love Quest '''Saga'''''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris was actually the first to use the term "saga" as Christorians know it today, using it as such when describing his Love Quest on the cover of [[Sonichu 4]]. It wasn't until the Miyamota Saga when the term was used by Christorians to describe ongoing events in Chris's life as we know it.</blockquote>

;salty
<blockquote>1 ''(adjective)'' showing more maturity or coarseness than is expected, especially knowledge of [[honest]] topics like [[Chris and sex|sex]].

<blockquote>''Ah, but I am not the weak person they think I am; I am much, much '''saltier'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based upon a line from "Bowling Girls", ninth episode of ''[[Excel Saga]]'': "But I'm not the sweet little girl I was a few minutes ago! I'm much, much saltier now!" "Salty" in this context derives from naval lingo, since the most experienced sailors would have greater exposure to both the saltwater seas and worldly experiences.
</blockquote>

;[[Scale of Respect|scale of respect]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's way of measuring his respect for other people.

<blockquote>''I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my '''Scale of Respect''' each by 2 points''<ref>[[Scale of Respect]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, like most other autistics, tends to view the world based on numerical values due to their lack of understanding of certain abstract concepts such as respect. Because of this, Chris made his very own numerical scale to decide on who should be respected, compared to who shouldn't.</blockquote>

;Scooby-Doo Detective
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Mocking term for amateur or faulty investigative reasoning based on misguided, simplistic or weak evidence.

<blockquote>''Of course, ONLY as far as all of you know, since the less than '''Scooby-Doo detective''' skills and lack of psychic power practice makes the majority, I am capable of thinking and processing faster.''<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#What got Chris into Sonic?]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based on the Scooby-Doo animated series where the main characters, who are amateur teenaged detectives, often solved simple and predictable mysteries. </blockquote>

;seinor
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Misspelling of senior.

<blockquote>''A cool Junior or '''Seinor'''-Year student, and follow their example on asking others out''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An example of how the “i before e rule” escapes Chris.

</blockquote>

;self-epic
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' describing a situation which is epic, and at the same time related to Chris and his various clones.

<blockquote>''And I will square-off in the TRULY '''SELF-EPIC''' Battle between me, and my Dark Half.''<ref>[[An Important Update]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: [[Chris and his Ego|Self-explanatory]].</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;self-masturbation
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Mass debating|masturbation]].

<blockquote>'''''Self-masturbation''' is really arduous and annoying.''<ref name=15min>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris decided to add the prefix "self-" to make it clear that he was stroking his own [[duck]], apparently unaware that use of said prefix is redundant (the term masturbation typically implies self-pleasure unless one specifies otherwise).</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;self-sexually active
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' in the habit of [[Mass debating|masturbating]].

<blockquote>''And Another Thing, yes, I will admit I was '''self-sexually active'''; WAS. You all turned me off of Sex LONG Before I even thought of coming out as Trans in ‘14.''<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#On seeing his father's penis]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A modification of "sexually active".</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;ship
[[File:Chillaxingcard.jpg|200px|thumb|An example of a "shipping".]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An act of two or more OCs interacting with or performing any given action towards one another, regardless of any romantic feelings.

<blockquote>''You must take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this '''Ship'''. That card's power activates. At the end of the turn, until the Pony card attached with this '''Ship''' is discarded of removed from the grid, it gains the Keyword Villain.''<ref>[[:File:EpicOnlineBully.jpeg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An abbreviation of the word "relationship". Chris learned the term from the card game ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]'', a My Little Pony fan game satirizing the popular internet trend of shipping. He used the game as another creative medium to sell items to fans, trolls, weens, and enablers.</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;shitful
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' hurtful; defamitory.

<blockquote>''And this is the last time I will ever say anything in response to your '''shitful''' and hurtful comments and hatred for Hate's Sake!''<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Shitful is a vulgar slang word, synonymous with words like "boat-load" or "truck-load". Chris may have seen the "shit" part of this word and assumed that it was a more profane version of "hateful". Disregarding its actual meaning, the word to Chris is used for situations that seem "shitty" to him.</blockquote>

;[[SLGBTQ]]

<blockquote>1. ''(acronym)'' an extended acronym for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) which includes "straights" and "questioning people".

<blockquote>''Considering your logo there, Texas will be feeling more love from the '''SLGBTQ''' community; give us props and Love, Lone Star State.''<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Hurricane Harvey and SLGBT]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris first used this acronym, he didn't explain what groups the "S" or "Q" were supposed to represent, making plenty of people confused. Eventually, Chris revealed that the "S" represents '''s'''traight and cis-gender people, while "Q" represents "'''q'''ueers" or "'''q'''uestioning people". Chris believes that if he included straight people into LGBT, then those particular people would feel more invited to join into the community. Considering the fact that gay people are minorities, adding the "S" to LGBT only defeats the entire purpose of identifying people as LGBT in the first place.</blockquote>

;[[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a mentally handicapped person

<blockquote>''And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "'''slow-in-the-minds'''" on it.''<ref name=AWeekWith>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: While the exact origin of the term is unknown, slow-in-the-minds was first used by Chris in a high school assignment.<ref>[[Manchester High Leaks#Help This Unborn Child]]</ref> "Slow-in-the-minds" works as a stand in for the less-socially-acceptable "retard", so it's possible that Chris created this CWC-ism in order to self-censor.

</blockquote>

;slow-minded

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' mentally retarded

<blockquote>''As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look '''slow-minded'''; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest.''<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#February]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''OK, I can definitely name you a few reasons, like there was this one [stutters] …there was this one '''slow-minded''' individual named Tony. He was like as big as-he was as big and strong as an ox. He just kept on making all the moanings and noises and whatnot, and he sometimes even-even-a couple of times he even spat on me, and he even bopped me on the back of the head once or twice during the whole-during the whole time I knew him there.''<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' stupid, but not quite retarded

<blockquote> ''I'll admit I have had some '''slow-minded''' moments. But I am certainly not totally retarded.''<ref>[[Father Call#Crossing the Naïve Line (1:46:21-1:52:36)]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!
[[Image:SNERGEN FLERGEN!.PNG|thumb|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' A phrase one may shout out when asked for attendance.

<blockquote>'''''SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!'''''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic9P6.jpg]]</ref>
''-What?''

''Uh...here!''
</blockquote>

Origin: An obvious example of Chris's [[CWC-isms#R|random-access humor]]. This weird phrase appeared in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], when the cast was asked for their attendance during a [[CWC-isms#D|Dating Education]] class. When [[Wild Sonichu]] was asked for his attendance, he blurted out this phrase as Chris's many attempts to be funny in his comics. Given Chris's childish sense of humor, it would make a whole lot of sense for him to include a character randomly blurt out a nonsensical phrase out of nowhere.</blockquote>

;snooze cruise
<blockquote>1. a long period of slumber

<blockquote> ''Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" '''snooze cruise''', but I was.''<ref name=AWeekWith/></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]'', in the Super Sonic's Story cutscenes, after Sonic gets woken up by Tails: "I was on a snooze cruise, I guess!"

</blockquote>

;somecummpentydifferent
<blockquote>1. ''(Phrase)'' Used to announce a change in subject.

<blockquote>''Anyway and now for somecummpentydifferent stay tuned for '''somecummpentydifferent''' — a bunch of good pushups!''<ref>[[Getting Foam Ed]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(Phrase)'' Used to announce use of [[random-access humor]].

<blockquote>''And now for '''somecummpentydifferent'''. BUUUUNG! And now it's Monty Python's flying elephants. Du tu du tu du tu du. Du tu du tu du tu du. Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Greeg, why is people running away.''<ref>[[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Note this is the very first thing he says, so there's nothing to be completely different ''from''.</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris is trying to say "And now for something completely different" like John Cleese does on [[Monty Python]]. Suffice to say Cleese's ability to say three multisyllabic words in rapid succession exceeds that of Chris.</blockquote>

;[[Tobacky|somkey]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' The quality of having smoked recreationally, be it tobacco, marijuana, or some other substance.

<blockquote>''Thank our mayor, Mr. Christian Weston Chandler that CWCville is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or '''somkey'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A simple corruption of the word 'Smokey', used by [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] during their report on [[Sonichu 8#Spring Break, 2008!|Spring Break, 2008!]].
</blockquote>

;[[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]
<blockquote>1. (noun) The male counterpart of the Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: Derived from the appropriately named first Sonichu of CWCville, Sonichu. The name of the species is a portmanteau of the name of the titular character of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'', Sonic, and "Pikachu".</blockquote>

;soo
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' Very, Very much.

<blockquote>''Dear Blanca, I am '''soo''' happy that you were revealed as my True, Honest Sweetheart-To-Be''<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Blanca]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In writing, Chris often adds extra o's to the word "so" to prolong the "o" sound and show added emphasis. This has the (unintentional?) effect of mimicking the speech patterns of a Valley Girl or an effeminate homosexual. However, where most people would add two or more o's, (e.g., "I love you sooo much!"), Chris frequently only adds one, resulting in "soo," which makes the word look like it's supposed to be pronounced "sue".

This may originate from pamphlets published by [http://www.channing-bete.com/ Channing Bete], [[Autism|short and uninformative]] self-help pamphlets often handed out at churches, the last page of which often feature a summary headlined by "Soo…" Given his distrust of help from anyone other than [[Rocky]], it is not entirely impossible that Chris has read Channing Bete pamphlets occasionally.

This is one of many recurring jokes in the [[Sonichu Audiobooks]] in which the narrator pronounces words like "soo" as they are literally spelled, instead of how Chris intended them to be read.
</blockquote>

;soul-bonding
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Sexual intercourse as a means of purifying someone.

<blockquote>What had happened was Literally a Divine Mission, commissioned to Christine and I by Emanuel (GOD above Gods), herself, to Heal and Cleanse Barbara's health and soul and being and Clear her of remaining sins and regrets through Coddling, Talking, and Supportive '''Soul Bonding''' to mainly Extend her Life, personally by Divine Intervention.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has somehow come under the delusion that having sex with his mother would "purify" her, and extend her lifetime, all through the act of bonding each other's souls.

</blockquote>

;soup beds
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Homeless shelter with beds

<blockquote>'' I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have '''soup beds'''. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS!''<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris tries to distill his "soup hotel" idea into its two components, but he mangles one of them by retaining the "soup" prefix.
</blockquote>

;sourdough region
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The crotch area

<blockquote>''Its weak point is still the '''sourdough region''', but it would take FIVE KICKS to get to it''<ref>[[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In his Sonichu comics, Chris has decided to make the main weakness of the jerkops their crotch. The weakest of the jerkops take only one kick to be taken down, while higher-ranking jerkops like [[Jerkhief]], take five. The reason why Chris refers to this spot as the "sourdough region" is unknown, but most of his other CWC-isms already tend to sound so nonsensical to begin with, it barely even matters.</blockquote>

;spike on one's shoulder
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' refers to the act of holding grievances towards someone.

<blockquote>''There was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he had a '''spike on his shoulder''' against me.''<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A confusion with the phrase "chip on one's shoulder".</blockquote>

;spot
<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' A small amount.

<blockquote>''the recent 43.98 purchase was actually a ''spot'' of Wheeling and Dealing I did; I actually spent less to make a profit.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 15]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris likes to retardedly incorporate British English into his sentences when he has the chance, possibly to sound more classy than he actually is. The phrase "A spot of X" is a British English idiom referring to a small amount of something.</blockquote>

;sticky dream
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A wet dream

<blockquote>''After falling back asleep Chris had a "'''sticky dream'''."''<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris claims that a "wet dream" actually refers to wetting one's bed as opposed to nocturnal emission.
</blockquote>

;straight path
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The quality of being heterosexual and cisgender

<blockquote>''And, besides, if you stray away from the '''straight path''', it can really jeopardize the entire future of the world and the human race.<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris had an intense fear of "falling off the straight path". When he states this, he is essentially referring to being on the path to straightness, in the same way a normal person would refer to someone being on the path to success. Chris also had this unrealistic idea that being in contact with gay men would suddenly make him gay too, making him fall off the path. Possibly also an allusion to the phrase "straight and narrow" and/or the Biblical passage Matthew 7:14: "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."</blockquote>

</blockquote>
;[[Sub-Episodes|sub-episode]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The side stories in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comics.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: A result of Chris's use of [[Chris and English#Television jargon|television jargon]] in his comics.</blockquote>

;sumbah
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Minced oath for "son of a bitch."

<blockquote>''Yo, Christian, thanks for saving my sister from that crazy '''sumbah'''''<ref>[[Sonichu Special 4]], page K-4</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Probably based upon "sumbitch."
</blockquote>

;[[Sweetbolt|sweetbolt]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A pet name used by [[CWC-isms#E|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]].

<blockquote>''Ahh..that salad was great! What's wrong '''sweetbolt'''?''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP11.htm</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' A sweetheart.

<blockquote>''I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your '''SweetBolt'''. :)?''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP11.htm</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris first worked on his Sonichu comics, he tried to incorporate as many references to electricity as he can to match with the Pikachu part of the titular character. A portmanteau of the CWC-ism "sweetheart" and "bolt".
</blockquote>

;[[Sweetheart|sweetheart]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A potential lover.

<blockquote>''Oh, gee, I'm sorry Bionic, but back then I was na- I was naive on dating and all that, so I just didn't think of it at the time. But if you a '''sweetheart''', Meg has created quite a few foxy characters. If she's cool with it, you could go out with one of them.''<ref>[[Sonichu 6 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Another cutesy pet name given to candidates of his Love Quest.</blockquote>

;[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An ideal sweetheart beyond the friend zone.

<blockquote>''For days to weeks to months to years, I Felt So Lonesome and Incomplete. But I didn't STOP! In the name of Love, and the fact that there had to be a Boyfriend-Free Girl out there, somewhere, for me to get to know, grow a strong companionship with and make into a '''Sweetheart from the Ground-Up''', so in later years, after the inevitability of my parents leaving me, I WON'T BE ALONE. And I can eventually realize my dream of being a good husband, and father of a pretty girl named Crystal.''<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: As stated, Chris intended to use this weird phrase to indicate that he wants an ideal gal-pal well beyond the friend zone. Chris thought this phrase sounded so clever that he used it constantly.</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== T ==
|-
|

;teenages

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The 13-19 age group; teenage years.

<blockquote>''Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all '''teenages''', as well as the, uh, gals.''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: In Chris's [[Future Message]], he attempts to talk down to just about every age group. In order to do this, he starts his video off with the quote above. Chris clearly couldn't think of a way to refer to teenagers, so he decided to refer to such people by "teenages". A butchering of "people of all ages".</blockquote>

;teir
[[File:Teir.png|thumb|200|Chris spelling tier wrong.]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Misspelling of tier.

<blockquote>''$1 '''Teir'''''<ref>[[Patreon]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Yet another example of how Chris is unaware of “i before e”. In a June 2019 update, he managed to spell tier wrong throughout multiple descriptions, despite the correctly-spelled word being visible right on the page.</blockquote>

;telekinesis

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Telepathy, i.e. communication through long distances, usually via psychic or supernatural means.

<blockquote>''I’ve been communicating with her through '''telekinesis''', and she sounded very lonesome.''<ref>[[Silvana]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whereas tele'''kine'''sis means ''moving'' objects from a distance with psychic powers (c.f. ''[[wikipedia:kinetic energy|kinetic]]''), Chris has never used the term properly. [[Magi-Chan|Psychic]] [[Silvana|characters]] in the [[comic]] have both powers of telekinesis and telepathy, but Chris has only used the former to refer to both.
</blockquote>

;Temple

<blockquote>1. [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]].
<blockquote>''Food for Barbara is also appreciated, and Visitors who personally offer genuine Kindness and Good Intentions are all encouraged to visit the '''Temple'''.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In [[2019]] Chris designated his house as the "Temple of CWC Sonichu" due to his growing [[Messiah complex]].
</blockquote>

;That was a straw that sold the blade to the executioner

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' That was the final straw.

<blockquote>''And on top of that, literally doxing someone on [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwi]], because someone has a hold over [[Bismuth|Naught]] to the point of him having to feel very insecure about himself. And the topper, in my eyes, one of y'all sent threats to [[Praetor|Anni]]. Fortunately, she completely missed and overlooked that memo in her inbox. '''That was a straw that sold the blade to the executioner'''.''<ref>[[MKR DMs]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used the phrase in listing his grievances against some members of the [[Watchmen]].
</blockquote>

;theoretical ex

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' One of the trolls who posed as a potential love interest for Chris during the classic period of trolling, between 2008 and 2011; a catfish, generally-speaking.

<blockquote>''Yeah, it’s like, you know, even when I try to make a new relationship, uh, especially among the '''theoretical rex-, exes''' I had, I still could not tell which was which…''<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's history with the trolls]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris started calling the trolls who pretended to be his girlfriends during the classic era "theoretical exes" around the time of his date with [[Catherine|Catie]]. When pressed by Cousin Al as to what he meant, he cited that people may not always be who they say they are on the Internet.
</blockquote>

;This Viral Event

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The worldwide Coronavirus ([[COVID-19]], SARS-CoV-2) outbreak in early [[2020]], which began in [[China]] on New Year's Eve [[2019]] and has since become the most severe pandemic since the Spanish flu of 1918. Regarded by Chris as a trivial excuse to cancel a perfectly good ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention.

<blockquote>''The Bottom Line is that '''This Viral Event''' is actually a better step in our own developments and evolution, as well as a deity-level test to sort out the weak from the moderate and strong of mental and soulful intervals, and nothing else.<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#Chris finally weighs in on the coronavirus pandemic]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's [[Chris and religion|theodicy]] assigns any misfortune in the world to the Dimensional Merge. As the disease's spread has caused many governments to forbid large gatherings as a sanitary measure, it has become a [[Chris and His Ego|personal inconvenience to Chris]]. He believes that the pandemic will soon be stopped by [[OC|fictional characters]]' efforts,<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#COVID-19 a sign of dimensional merge]]</ref> making it nothing but a transient event.</blockquote>

;[[Tobacky|tobacky]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' tobacco or tobacco products

<blockquote>''If I could, I would take every last ounce of '''tobacky''', put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to the Moon.''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: American English slang, used by Chandlers since 1856,<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tobacky#English</ref> and for [[random access humor]] since 1928.<ref>[http://www.uwosh.edu/home_pages/faculty_staff/earns/song.html Back in Nagasaki Where the Fellers Chew Tobaccy]</ref> Chris hates the act of smoking cigarettes so much that even uttering the word "tobacco" makes him feel uncomfortable, so Chris uses this as a retarded {{w|minced oath}}.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref></blockquote>

;tom-tom
[[File:Duck Pounding Some Tom-Tom.jpeg|thumb|A duck pounding some tom-tom real hard]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' female genitalia.

<blockquote>''MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR '''TOM-TOM''' TO POUND!!!!!''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from the short Adult Swim music video, ''Pound my Tom-Tom'', which served as the intro to the cartoon, ''Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil''.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1DVoH0Njow</ref> Considering Chris barely understands anything adult, the fact that this was meant to be a bad euphemism, which the character, Lucy, used to avoid directly mentioning her vagina, flew over his head.</blockquote>

;[[Tomgirl Pictures|tomgirl]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A femboy, which is a person who identifies as male though still cross dresses.

<blockquote>''I am '''Tomgirl'''.''<ref>[[:File:I_am_tomgirl.jpg|PSN comment as of 6 April 2011]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: analogous to "tomboy", i.e. a girl who likes boy-stuff.

</blockquote>

;too many crooks

<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expression of dissatisfaction with an overabundance of evildoers.

<blockquote>''Well, call it--this was "too many crooks." '''Too many crooks!''' Too many crooks! And that ED page is one of those crooks.''<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based upon the idiom, "too many cooks spoil the broth." Although that idiom means something, this is just an incomplete sentence.
</blockquote>

;took my idea for a fall

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Refers to ruining Chris's [[Love Quest]] plans.

<blockquote>''I am very mad and upset, because that JERK took my idea for a fall, just like that XXXXX at PVCC did!''<ref>[[CWC%27s Diary#2004]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this in his poem [[Saddest Heart in the World]] as well as a 2004 diary entry. Appears to be a mangling of "took me for a fool."</blockquote>

;[[Toxic Trio]]

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A combined name for the Watchmen [[Naught]], [[Kyle]], and [[MKRNightVee]]

<blockquote>''Hey, @everyone. For starters, in light of the recent events @Neko has been through, and the light shedding on the toxic trio, an announcement with care for now:
To all of you in my flock, I highly encourage each of you to begin and continue your own individual self-work in enlightenment. For amongst you all, as the Dimension Merge/Collective Shift draws closer upon the main event with the removal of the veil between our universe halves, each of you has your own inner potential and strength. We have no need for war or quarrel at all with the OCs and individuals of C-197, as I state to all of those individuals in regard to us of 1218.''<ref>[[:File:TheKnights1stLayer-26Jun21 - Chris intro.png]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used by Chris when he joined The WCT's [[Knights of CWC]] Discord server after WCT convinced him to distance himself from the "trio".</blockquote>

;triage

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' ménage à trois; a romantic relationship between three people.

<blockquote>''Magi-Chan Sonichu, Silvana Rosechu & Mewtwo / A Loving '''Triage'''''<ref>[[January 2018 Facebook posts‎‎#Mewtwo and Magi-Chan married]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A corruption or misspelling of "triad", possibly influenced by the ending of "ménage". "[[wikipedia:Triage|Triage]]" is a real word with a completely different meaning and unrelated etymology.
</blockquote>

;trollin' stupid

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Very stupid, in a manner pertaining to trolling.

<blockquote>''Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing raping... '''trollin' stupid''' pickle suited... nigger!''<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to have coined this phrase for his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend"]] lyrics with "trollin'" serving as an intensifier along the lines of "fucking."
</blockquote>

;true and honest

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' something [[Honest content|honest]].

<blockquote>''I like sharing my honest feelings with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are '''true and honest''' feelings. SO THERE.''<ref>[[For Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris first used the adjective with reference to his love for [[PandaHalo]], and the adjective was often used by [[Liquid Chris]].
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== U ==
|-
|

;ugly growth

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to refer to his own penis negatively.

<blockquote>''"Did I not just tell you I am Seven Inches Long?! It is soo long, that I am literally able to stretch it Under my taint, and tuck it between my own ass cheeks, beyond my ass hole. With help, I can literally even shove the head of the '''Ugly Growth''' Up Mine!"''<ref>[[Colin Chat 2]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Un-clit|un-clit]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A piercing Chris got on his perrinium as an immitation clitoris.

<blockquote>''It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my '''un-clit'''.''<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: During his Tomgirl years, Chris was, and still is, very desperate to gain female body traits such as bigger breasts, wider hips, a fully functioning vagina, etc. In order to get a part of the work done, Chris got a piercing on his taint as a sort of pseudo-clitoris, showing more of Chris's limited knowledge of female anatomy. </blockquote>

;uncouth
[[File:Uncouth Twat.png|thumb|Most uncouth!]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' unlikeable, lacking good manners.

<blockquote>''And, by the way, among which, You give the Males a Most Terrible and Horrible Name in your behavior. Most '''Uncouth'''.''<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Trump is most Immature, '''Uncouth''', and Not Valid to be president.''<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I felt it appropriate to change my profile photo back to the filtered one for what happened in France the while back with due respect of the continuing of Trump's most drastic and '''uncouth''' actions in office.''<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''You, sir, are '''Uncouth'''.''<ref>[[April 2017 tweets#Trump, you mocked the mentally-challenged]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''All of you are nothing but immature, borish, '''uncouth''', and damned Neanderthals.''<ref>[[Sonic Boom Protests#Chris Rages On]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Not Sexual Fantasy; Friendships, You '''Uncouth''' Cad. Hmpf!''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Unleashing his inner Brit]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And as it Had been My fault on that #NationalGirlfriendTweet that started the whole mess, that was Why I chose whole-heartedly to Harass Me instead of Doopie or Anyone Else who was being harassed with the mis-content from Years Ago from me taken Out Of Context, Mind you, because Harassing Anyone at Anyone else’s Expense is Just Plain Wrong, Bullying, and '''Uncouth'''!''<ref>[[October 2017 tweets]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote> ''And it was ignored by you that Talulah Bankhead coined the term for Tabitha, you '''Uncouth''' Twat.''<ref>[[August_2017_tweets#Tabitha addresses CWC flame war]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I agree it is shameful of these people to have accounts just to haze at me and all others, Soo '''uncouth'''.''<ref>[[NightStar2891 tweets#Twitter spam for Tabitha]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I miss Jessica. You Trolls Scared Her Off by either Hacking or Reporting her Facebook. You '''Uncouth''' Cads!''<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Still missing Quinn]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: As demonstrated, Chris uses this word way more than any 21st-century [[American]] would. It is often speculated that Chris picked up this word from an ''MLP'' episode, where Applebloom and Applejack are talking about what the word "uncouth" means.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-SrQ-Oz1k4</ref> Seeing how this conversation alone is somehow a staple in the Brony subculture, and how Chris is one of those Bronies who sees more [[Night_Star#Chris_spills_the_beans|meaning]] in the show than it actually possesses, Chris likely picked up this term due to how foreign and smart it sounded to him.

Chris is also notorious for his use of British English whenever he tries to make it seem he knows what he's talking about. It is also fairly likely Chris may have adapted this word solely because he thinks British English words will make him sound smarter.
</blockquote>

;[[UNGA-WUNGA]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' A sexual chant from the [[Cherokian Clan]].
<blockquote>''There is no quote to directly cite the use of this CWC-ism. This CWC-ism was used in one of Chris's art pieces appropriately named "UNGA-WUNGA"''</blockquote>
Origin: Comes from a horrifying art piece Chris drew of himself banging [[Jackie]] against a tree while a group of Cherokians masturbate to their orgy.<ref>[[:File:Unga_Wunga_Time.jpg]] (NSFW)</ref> As for the questionably racist phrase itself, Chris simply stated that it was "just a random phrase I randomly picked for the natives to chant as they jerked off."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref></blockquote>

;unto
<blockquote>1. ''(preposition)'' Archaic or poetic form of the word "to".

<blockquote>''Now that it has been made fully clear to me, I am now able to devote myself fully '''unto''' you, Julie.''<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 7]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that [[Mary Lee Walsh|XXXXX]] caused '''unto''' me!''</blockquote>

Origin: Another one of Chris's autistic ways of sounding smart, possibly in imitation of the Bible. (c.f. ''[[Chris and hypocrisy|Do unto others...]]''). Chris uses this form more frequently than most English speakers of the 21st century should, even when it sounds unwieldy.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== V ==
|-
|
;vaginatables

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' female genitalia

<blockquote>''There is no quote to cite the use of this CWC-ism. Chris used this CWC-ism in an e-mail address "ILuvVaginatables@aol.com".''</blockquote>

Origin: A strange hybrid of the words "vagina" and "vegetables", purely for Random-Access Humor.</blockquote>

;vege-marmite

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Vegemite

<blockquote>''Certainly not a '''vege-marmite''' sanwich. Lol''<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-372</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A retarded pun made by Chris to state his distaste for veggie marmite. Coincidentally, vegemite is essentially marmite, yeast extract from brewing beer turned into a pungent, salty paste, with vegetables and spices added in.<ref>{{w|Vegemite}}</ref></blockquote>

;vestite

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A transvestite person.

<blockquote>''"That is the difference between Trans Gender and '''Vestites'''; ID as the other sex, and dressing like it, respectively"''<ref name=Vestites/></blockquote>

Origin: In the above post, Chris intended to write the words "transgender" and "transvestite" in the same sentence without duplicating the trans suffix. He did so by adding a space between the prefix and the respective endings. It is worth mentioning that "Vestite" is a word in Latin, and simply refers to being clothed, without any connotations regarding cross-dressing.</blockquote>

;[[Virgin with Rage|virgin with rage]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An individual who is sexually frustrated

<blockquote>''Tell me why
I'm stuck as a '''virgin with rage'''!
Tell me why
I so need a cute girl my age!
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"''<ref>[[So Need a Cute Girl]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The idea of being a virgin and not having a sweetheart was something that greatly upsetted Chris. He would throw tantrums after losing a potential sweetheart, and thus missing out on an opportunity to lose his virginity.</blockquote>

;[[Virginia is for virgins]]

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase that pushes the idea that the citizens of Virginia won't allow Chris to get a girlfriend solely due to his autism.

<blockquote>"'''VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS''', NOT LOVERS!"<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: An intentional butchering of the phrase "Virginia is for Lovers". His belief that the state of Virginia is behind some kind of conspiracy to prevent him from finding true love has started since attending [[PVCC]]. While there, Chris has gotten himself putting up Attraction Signs, loitering with said signs on campus, and even creating a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter series]] in order to attract potential sweethearts. Seeing how all of this violated the school's rules and policies, he was sent directly to the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Dean]] in order for her to straighten him out.<ref>[[Virginia is for Virgins#Origins]]</ref> Of course, Chris took this to be another instance of him being discriminated, solely for being autistic. This, coupled with the fact that he's already failed on several occasions to actually get to date any of his his female friends in high school, reinforced this belief. </blockquote>

;VOTES FOR WOMEN!
[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly misinterpreted.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase shouted in protest of pictures depicting women with penises.

<blockquote>'''''VOTES FOR WOMEN''', STEP IN TIME! VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME! NEVER NEED A REASON, NEVER NEED A RHYME, VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME!''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P52.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from a sash Mrs. Banks, a character from [[Mary Poppins]], had worn. Chris clearly took this banner to simply refer to any kind of mistreatment towards women, rather than the fairly obvious implication that she's actually fighting for the right to vote.</blockquote>

<blockquote>''See Also'': [[CWC-isms#W|Women's Rights]]
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== W ==
|-
|

;Walter Grisby
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A man's name often employed in acts of random-access humor.

<blockquote>''"Is this '''Walter Grisby'''? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what? DAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"''<ref>[[Random-access humor]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The retconned name of the character formerly known as [[Wes Iseli]].

Origin: Unknown; thought by some to be a reference to the Cartoon Network show ''Ed, Edd n Eddy''. A character in the PC game ''The Sims 3'' goes by the name of Walter Grisby, but the game's release post-dates Chris's first uses of the term by some years.
</blockquote>

; Warroir of Love
[[Image:WarriorOfLove.jpg|thumb|300px|History's greatest warroirs.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an advocate for spreading love and peace.

<blockquote>''"People! You do not understand! By Not blocking the Trolls, you are Promoting Hatred; They don't always side with Love. I Am '''Warroir of Love'''."''<ref>[[BlockTheTrolls#Campaign]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Misspelling of the word "warrior". Chris considers himself a "warrior of love" because he believes that he is the [[Chris and kindness|voice of kindness]]. Most likely derived from the derogatory term "Social Justice Warrior", a term used for individuals who advocate for social justice and equality.
</blockquote>

; water on the rocks
[[File:Water and Dasani.jpeg|thumb|200px|Literally a drink on the rocks.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' water poured over Chris's [[magic stones]] for drinking.

<blockquote>''#DrinkWater; Filtered or Bottled, preferred; Quartz, Rose Quartz, or Amethyst optional to enjoy it '''on the rocks''' (held in place with aluminum wire).''<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#watch anime to kill coronavirus]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''staying hydrated with more than 101.4 ounces of filtered '''water on the rocks''' within a #Glacce bottle''<ref>[[January 2021 social media posts#GFuel and meditation]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In accordance with his [[Magical thinking|New Age]] beliefs, Chris purchased a Glacce water bottle for $80+, which features a crystal display set inside. He later placed one of his [[magic stones]] into it, crudely held in by aluminum wire, and refers to drinking from the bottle as "water on the rocks."
</blockquote>

;well-breasted
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Having large breasts.

<blockquote>''And her image dawned upon me in my imagination, starting out as the '''well-breasted''' pink electric-hedgehog (Pok'emon) with the long Raichu-like tail, I drew her outfit onto her in red and Battery-Charged Blue.''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Rosechu|CWCipedia article on Rosechu}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Confusion between "well-endowed" and "large-breasted".

</blockquote>

;witching hours
<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' The time between midnight and 4 AM that Chris cannot fall asleep during.

<blockquote>'' I know that I'm gonna be more effective with the '''witching hours''' during the night once again, whether I'm asleep or not, okay.<ref>[[Animated Everfree Message]]</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: May have been picked up from Chris's increasing interest in the [[Magical thinking|occult]]. Generally, the phrase refers to the midnight hours, with the term being inspired by the ancient belief that supernatural events, like witches, demons, and ghosts, are at their most powerful at midnight. Chris adopted the phrase in reference to his [[Biological clock|unusual sleep schedule]].

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#B|biological clock]]
</blockquote>

;Woahly
<blockquote> 1. ''(interjection)'' Expression indicating surprise.
<blockquote>'' Who is it Rosey? The Stew's almost ready and I... '''Woahly'''..!''<ref>[[:File:Sonichu15-2019draft-p11.png]]</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: Portmanteau of "woah" and "holy... (as in the beginning of saying holy shit)," found in [[Sonichu 15]].
</blockquote>

;woman up
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' The female equivalent of manning up.

<blockquote>''Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and '''woman up''' [Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"] respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!''</blockquote>

Origin: Used in the second part of Chris’s Autism Tutorial, where he insultingly attempts to rally up all autistic people (regardless of their functionality) to form proper friendships, all while missing the point of “manning up”.
</blockquote>

;[[Women's rights]] (or Women's Lib)
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Any kind of behavior towards women that does not involve abusing them physically or mentally.

<blockquote>''Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the '''Women's Rights''', For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.''<ref>[[Other documents]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The right for women to not be depicted with a [[CWC-isms#P|pickle]].

<blockquote>''FOR OUR '''RIGHTS AS WOMEN''' AMONG ALL PEOPLE, I WILL OVERPOWER THOSE SLANDEROUS JERKS!!!''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P58.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(noun)'' The act of women protesting by stripping down naked.

<blockquote>''Well, once we get our centerfolds shot and uploaded, hopefully those bastards will see and admire our beautiful lights.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Yeah, and if nothing else, we can still have a lot of fun trying.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''With our lord's support in our peaceful protest, we can win this fight.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Victory for '''Women's Lib'''''.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P51.jpg]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Chris's understanding of sexism is botched up beyond belief. His zeal towards the rights of women is believed to have originated from watching the 1964 Disney film, Mary Poppins. He was particularly influenced by Mrs. Banks, who has expressed distaste for unequal treatment for women in 1910 London. As to be expected, Chris missed the point of this part of her character, and instead used this in order to justify his treatment towards the women he meets. Chris also believed that the term "sexism" only applies to forms of violence against women, and not necessarily representing in a condescending manner.

</blockquote>

;wooden nickel
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Acoustic guitar.

<blockquote>''I got the idea of the challenge from him COPYING me playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on Guitar Hero on his old '''Wooden Nickel'''; if he wants to copy on Guitar, he may as well be challenged in a Sing-Off.''<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In real life, a wooden nickel is a now defunct form of currency used during the Great Depression. His use probably refers to the phrase "don't take any wooden nickels" - that is, he is calling the acoustic guitar a semi-worthless imitation of his Guitar Hero controller.
</blockquote>

;worse
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' Severely; extremely, in an adverse manner

<blockquote>''IMHO, having Seinor Citizens for Parents throughout your whole life is no picnic; they are '''WORSE''' Overprotective.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;worst mud, muck and bodily fluids

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Mud, among [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|other disgusting things]].

<blockquote>''The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids.''<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: First used by Chris in a June 2012 Facebook post ranting about that damn [[Michael Snyder]]. Refers to having his good name or reputation dragged through the mud, with "bodily fluids" added in an attempt to garner sympathy.
</blockquote>

|-
|
;wrath
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Great [[Chris and anger|anger]] or rage. Considered one of the [[Chris and religion|Seven Deadly Sins]].

<blockquote>''Apparently, my, uh, heed of warning towards Vivian has gone unheard or otherwise SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY '''WRATH'''''<ref>[[Sign Destruction Video]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Strength sufficient to lift an office chair.

<blockquote>''I HAAAVE THE POWEEERRRR!!! FEEL MY '''WRATH'''!!''<ref>[[Power]]</ref></blockquote>
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==X==
|-
|
;X2-checking
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Double Checking
<blockquote>''Just '''X2-checking''' if you got the drawing I left you.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-11-2017-chris-spotted-at-bronycon.33187/page-35#post-2511049]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Comes from x2 meaning times two, which means double to Chris.</blockquote>

;XXX-tended
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Sexually explicit
<blockquote>''ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE TRUTH BOMBS AND ROSEY ROSECHU's POST-INTERSEX-TO-FEMALE TRANSITION AND OPERATION NUDES IN THE '''XXX-TENDED''' CONTROVERSIAL VERSION OF MY BOOK NUMBER EIGHT IN 2008!''<ref>[[Jail_Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>
;XXXXX
<blockquote>1. ''(noun, censorship)'' censorship of the word "bitch"
<blockquote>''Mary Lee Walsh made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM VERY ANGRY AT THAT '''XXXXX'''!''<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Chris's only instance of this peculiar censorship is in his [[diary]]. In it, Chris repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX", clearly as a censorship of the word "bitch". Why Chris chose to replace all of the letters in the word with the capital letter "X", instead of using asterisks remains a mystery.</blockquote>

|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Y ==

</blockquote>
|-
|
;y'all should know me by now
|-
|<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' An introduction to complete strangers.

<blockquote>'''''Y'all should know me by now''', but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, back on March 17th, 2000.''<ref name=csm/></blockquote>
Origin: His second message on YouTube, addressed to the ED trolls. He would use it several more times after this, possibly making this into his tagline. The introduction is made under the assumption that Chris is [[Chris and his Ego|already well-known]]. May have been partially derived from ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', where a character similarly begins a speech by saying, "You all know me."
</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;yea and merrily
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used to open videos where Chris is feeling [[Messiah complex|messianic]].

<blockquote>'''''Yea and merrily''' to everyone. Welcome to this.''<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Hey everybody! '''Yea and merrily'''.''<ref>[[Simple Existential Q&A]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A stupid play on "yea, verily", an antiquated phrase meaning "yes, truly", often assumed to have been said by Jesus in the {{w|King James Version}} of the Bible. Although the word "verily" is often used by Jesus in the King James Version, the phrase "yea, verily" never actually appears anywhere in the King James Bible. It does, however, appear in the {{w|Book of Mormon}}.
</blockquote>

;You don't rape a hamster!
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase condeming the raping of women kept as sex slaves, but apologizing for acussing someone of doing so.

<blockquote> ''It was just like you know...he had to—he had those four Rosechus in his basement. Kept 'em in cages. Treated them like hamsters. Ham—giant hamster wheel. Water bottle. Food pellets. No rape. Just hamsters. '''You don't rape a hamster!'''''<ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in the video [[I am Alive]], where Chris dispels "rumors" that were being propogated by trolls who were vandalizing the CWCipedia. In the video, he apologizes to [[Alec Benson Leary]] for misunderstandings about [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|acussing him of keeping women in his basement]], comparing them to hamsters.</blockquote>

;young at heart

<blockquote>1. ''(noun, attributive)'' An individual with childlike characteristics; a childish person.

<blockquote>''Hello Nintendo! Welcome to my Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I live in Ruckersville, Virginia and I is [sic] 21 years old and I play because I am '''young at heart'''. So anyway we are going to take a tour of my ci-ty...in Animal Crossing.''<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I am '''Young at Heart'''; a concept I have kept within myself since childhood.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-27-chris-wants-everyone-to-be-a-manchild-like-him.33726/]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''We, the '''Young at heart''' stand alongside our Liked and Cared others.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-27-chris-wants-everyone-to-be-a-manchild-like-him.33726/]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris more often than not advertises his childish nature as being "young at heart". As if this was a more positive quality of himself, he even goes as far as using this as a reason for girls to fall in love with him in his [[attraction signs]]. This is because Chris can't tell the difference between being a child at heart and being childish. In his mind, people who are considered "childish" actually lead a happier and more exciting life, since he believes that childlike people are more willing to show off their [[kindness]] and are generally more eccentric. In reality, adults who are "young at heart" generally have a somewhat innocent outlook of life and are generally interested in things considered suitable for children, yet understand their responsibilities as adults, something which Chris has failed to do since graduating [[High School]].
</blockquote>
|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Z ==
|-
|

;zap to the extreme
[[Image:ZapToTheExtreme.png|thumb|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Go out and be brave.

<blockquote>''Go! Sonichu! Go out and '''zap to the extreme'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote> ''Now everyone stay green and go out and '''zap to the extr-r-r-r-r-eme'''. Have a lovely day.''<ref>[[A New, Fun Trick]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This phrase is first used on the cover of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], where Chris's self-insert tells Sonichu to "zap to the extreme" as if Chris and Sonichu were in a bona fide [[Pokémon]] tournament. Chris would then end up using this phrase time and again, usually completely out of context of its original meaning.
</blockquote>

;zapbud
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A fictitious flower found in the ''Sonichu'' canon; Rosechu's favorite flower.

<blockquote>''Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose, though a '''Zapbud''' is the flower that heals your woes.''<ref name=OdeToRosechu/></blockquote>

Origin: Essentially the result of Chris attempting to create a mythology around his ''Sonichu'' comics, he created some of his own flora as well. Because "zapping" was a very common theme in the earlier issues of ''Sonichu'', Chris thought about naming his flora after this one theme. The term has ironically become popular with trolls and enablers, where they name made-up characters and places after it.</blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun)'' a [[CWC-isms#S|sweetheart]].

<blockquote>''Yes, my blossoming '''zapbud'''. That's why we are here.''<ref>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In this context, the term is used the same way a female lover may be compared to a flower. This was clearly an attempt to make the flora have a greater significance by making it sound like something beautiful.
</blockquote>

;zombie-like

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' To be riddled with dementia.

<blockquote>''Also, Barb is literally a Zombie-Like Living Body with little remaining of Barbara (her Soul) within her anymore; that living body is Running on Fumes at this point. She CAN NOT Drive anymore, regardless of Van loss; she has the fridgid mental activity and physical ability like a scared deer in headlights nearly ALL the time since even before June, 2021.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a [[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022|Jail Letter]] where Chris seems to imply that during his affair with his mother, she might have been declining mentally.
</blockquote>

|}

==References==

<references/>

==Navigation==

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[[Category:CWC-isms]]

CWC-isms

2026-06-01T03:34:58Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

<center>{{Honest}}</center>

{{Protip|Please refrain from using CWC-isms casually when writing articles, as this may make them difficult for newcomers to decipher.}}
One of [[Chris]]'s most notorious features is his strange '''vocabulary''', consisting of a mix of fairly standard words, slang, jargon, and various personal coinages.

Some of these coinages originate from a degree of prudery, likely inherited from his older parents and maintained by his childlike nature. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to [[Honest Content|adult concepts]] directly, Chris often resorts to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of words that anyone else his age would generally use with little reservation, which is common with autistic people. While some of them are understandable — after all, nobody would really relish discussing their [[Butt garments|diapers]] — others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", only serve to turn an otherwise normal sentence into an advertisement for Chris's childish nature.

Others are attempts to be clever that fail miserably, for example, he refers to [[semen]] as "[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|navy]]", because semen sounds like sea men, [[Random-access humor|get it?]] Still others come from Chris's love of manipulating words, especially backwards spellings, {{w|portmanteau}} blends, “verbing” nouns, or liberal use of suffixes like “- ish” or “-er”. Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among [[autism|autistics]] (likely since standard language may seem inefficient to explain their thought processes), and you get his so-called '''CWC-isms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations or butchered versions of words or phrases that already exist, entirely new words, commonplace words that he uses repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way, or entirely new phrases that Chris often has to explain afterwards because nobody knows what he's talking about.

==Primary categories of CWC-isms==
Nearly all CWC-isms belong to one of the four following classes:
# '''CWC-neologism''' - a ''new'' word or phrase, unknown until ''created by Chris''. Example: ''[[CWC-isms#L|Lovehogs]]'', a portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehogs".
# '''CWC-homonym''' - an ''existing'' word or phrase, to which Chris has given a ''different meaning''. These may be euphemisms, designed to avoid naming (to Chris) offensive things, or else due to Chris confusing an elevated word's meaning. Example: ''[[Duck]]'', for Chris's penis; ''[[CWC-isms#T|telekinesis]]'', used erroneously in place of ''telepathy''.
# '''CWC-archaism''' - an ''obscure'' word or phrase, known in English but seldom used by contemporary Virginians, which Chris has learned somewhere and has ''become characteristic'' for Chris's way of speaking/writing. Example: ''[[CWC-isms#U|Uncouth]]'', a word now rarely used outside the context of formal etiquette, which Chris used to tell people how much of a jerk he perceive they're being to him.
# '''CWC-misspelling''' - only the ''most notable'' of Chris's ''misspellings'', including deliberate re-arrangements: those which are characteristic for Chris's way of writing. Example: ''[[Geinus]]'', what he deems himself to be; ''[[Pmurt]]'' for Donald Trump, 45th and 47th president of the United States. Chris's sporadic, inconsistent use of some [[Catherine|British spellings]] while otherwise using American English can also be considered under this category.



__NOTOC__

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; center:0">{{Alphabet ToC}}</div>

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==#==
|-
|

;12-9
[[Image:Sonichu 12-9 Cover.jpg|The cover for Sonichu #12-9|thumb|200px]]

<blockquote>
1. ''(numeral)'' A placeholder for the number thirteen.

<blockquote> ''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism directly. Chris however used it in lists that exceed 12 items.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1006915844016869377</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has shown on a few occasions to dislike the number 13, due to him deeming it an unlucky number. This phenomenon, referred to as [[wikipedia:Triskaidekaphobia|triskaidekaphobia]], is already a popular superstition in American culture, and this is likely where Chris picked it up. His fear of the number has led to some bizarre effects, particularly in his numbering. A famous example of this unusual numbering shtick is in the 13th issue of his Sonichu comics, which he numbered as "Issue #12-9", in which he used an em-dash in the place of a decimal place. The 12-9 itself is meant to represent a value of "almost 13".</blockquote>

;15 minutes
[[File:15 minutes.jpg|thumb|200px|"It takes me fifteen f-yay minutes"]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' [[Masturbation]], the amount of time it takes for Chris.

<blockquote> ''Masturbation takes '''Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes'''''<ref name=15min>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote> ''Self-masturbation is really arduous and annoying. Another '''15 minutes''' down the drain.''<ref name=15min></ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris coined this phrase in 2021, using it in chats with the [[Watchmen]] and in the [[Workaholics Anonymous comic]].</blockquote>

;[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent Garbage]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' The headquarters of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4-Chan]] trolls in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.

<blockquote> ''You will recognize her [?] as your sweetheart because from a fav- from a favor on her half, your internal clock will be restored fully, your enemies of '''4-cent-garbage''' will be vanquished, so you both will live together in peace. Live freely.''<ref>[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Since ED and 4chan were partly responsible for Megan's breakup with him, Chris decided to get payback on the both of them by combining the both of them into an evil corporation in Sonichu, dubbing it "4-cent Garbage".</blockquote>

;7-incher
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A penis which measures seven-inches in length.

<blockquote> ''Good thing we stopped for a pack of condoms; it's too bad the regular-size ones break easily on my '''7-incher'''.''</blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, his penis is about 7 inches, which he actually believes is the average length of a penis of an adult male <ref>[[Mailbag 20#Oral doesn't count]]</ref>. Chris has made all kinds of weird euphemisms for just his penis alone such as this one, "ugly growth", and "duck".</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==A==
|-
|
;abreast
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' full of; filled with.

<blockquote>''It was not until after saving the city from the forces of Count Graduon and his minions, that she realized her form's new assets. And she was '''abreast''' with delight and glee when she found not the Male Part, but a Vagina!''<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''In fact, while I am fairly educated about Tribadism and '''abreast''' with theories, I would appreciate some experience with a lesbian or two who knows what she likes to enlighten me better, including on sensual massage and all that.''<ref>[[May_2015_Facebook_posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris uses this word when discussing feminine anatomy and lesbian sex, evidently because it includes the word "breast". He fails to realize that "abreast" actually means "adjacent" or "across".<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/abreast</ref> A possible confusion with the word "abound" or "abundant".</blockquote>

;Adult Swim
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' pornographic or otherwise "NSFW"; containing [[Honest Content|adult content]].

<blockquote>''She still has a great drawing style, even for the '''Adult Swim''' section."<ref>[[CWCSonichu-NightStar2891 DMs]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Refers to the Cartoon Network block ''[[Adult Swim]]''. Chris seemed to only consider the "Adult" part of this block's name, and therefore assumed he could use this phrase to describe anything that's "adult" to him. Note that the Cartoon Network block does not feature pornographic content.

</blockquote>

;adulterous
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Of an [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|adult]] and mature nature

<blockquote>''Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered '''adulterous'''.''<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: usually used to describe people who [[Ivy|cheat]] on their [[Blanca Weiss|partners]] (i.e. guilty of adultery), Chris only notices the "adult" component of the word.

2. ''(adjective)'' Insult of unclear nature
<blockquote>''Heeeeey, folks! It's me, [[Clyde Cash]]. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an '''adulterous''' foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet!''<ref>[[100 2267]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris simply throws out the insult without a clear understanding of the word. Possibly referring to Clyde taking [[PandaHalo]] from Chris, though this is more aptly described as cuckoldry than adultery. Perhaps influenced by the verb ''adulterate''.

</blockquote>

;among which
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Among other things. Et cetera. Also. Additionally

<blockquote>'''''Among which''' I can project myself to (the Ninja Turtles universe)''<ref>[[Count Dankula#More CWCville (19:55-42:18)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: [[Autism|Uncertain]]. Chris adopted this phrase and began using it heavily in a number of different contexts through-out 2018. Perhaps the clearest example of Chris's over-use of "among which" is the [[Dankula|Count Dankula interview]], where Chris uses the phrase no less than ten times.

</blockquote>

;an' anurr thing
<blockquote>
1. ''(Phrase, transitionary)'' Signifies that Chris wishes to make another point about a subject he is discussing, and that he wishes he were Peter Falk.

<blockquote>''An' anurr thing...CHRIS. Your for real- your real name, as I have been told by Kacey, is only Chris Chandler! No "-tian," no "-topher," just Chris! So, admit that. '''An' anurr thing''', I NAME is NOT IAN! BRANDON!!! SOMETHING!!!!!''<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: a corruption of "and another thing". Used constantly when Chris is angry.

</blockquote>
;[[Anaxis bird]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Signifies that [[Anaxis]] was meant to be a messenger for the information that Chris requested he put in ''A Medium's Guidance''.

<blockquote>
''Perhaps you all may have heard how I came onto this from an '''Anaxis bird'''.''<ref>[[User:Anaxis/Watchmen Source Leaks#"Anaxis Bird"]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: A mangling of the phrase "a little birdie told me", indicating that an anonymous source gave someone a piece of secret information. Because of Chris's misuse of the phrase, the other Watchmen present had come to believe that Anaxis was influencing Chris to write both the [[Affirmations List]] and the [[Lovers Attributes List]].</blockquote>

;[[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]]
[[Image:Anch.PNG|right|thumb|Chris and Sonichu amazed by the Anchuent Prophecy]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Describes anything that is archaic in the ''Sonichu'' canon.

<blockquote>
''Well, what's this? I'm havin' an upgrade? Huh! Huh! My- my powers are given me the ability to fly with my wings attached to my head! It's like a w- it's like an add-on! That's optional! Huh! Must have been done by '''Anchuent''' Powers, so awesome I can fly now! Huh!''<ref>[[Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Initially, "anchuent" was taken to be a misspelling of the word "ancient" given Chris's [[Chris and English|poor grasp of the English language]]. Over time, however, it was revealed that "anchuent" was meant to be a portmanteau of the words "ancient" and "Sonichu", adding the "chu" part of "Sonichu" into the word "ancient".<ref>[[Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook]]</ref> </blockquote>

;and shit
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' And additional items.

<blockquote>''I don't want to believe in labels at all but I mean obviously, tale- the incest fanfics have come true '''and shit'''.''<ref>[[Incest call]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''But, yeah, I did not verbally argue as much growing up, and it took facing the even Toughter Moments since 2000 '''and shit''' for me to actually formulate and speak better self-defenses with what is Truth''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A more profane variant of "and such" (see below). Chris often uses the phrase in unfitting contexts. He may have picked it up from [[Lars]]'s constant usage of the phrase during the 2010 [[Lars Call]].
</blockquote>

;and such
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' And additional items; to add to a list.

<blockquote>''At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera '''and such'''.''<ref>[[CWC Blog|Cwcipedia captain's log, 25 November 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris understands the term's meaning, but uses it superfluously.
</blockquote>

;anthropological
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' human-like, anthropomorphic.

<blockquote>''In dressing myself for the burial work, I saw Snoopy had merged with his '''anthropological''' self-counterpart on the C-197 half of the veil.''<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Eulogy for Snoopy]]</ref></blockquote>
</blockquote>

;acquisition
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A charge or allegation of wrongdoing.

<blockquote>''NO! MORE! Of those stupid '''acquisition''' messages!''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A {{w|malapropism|malaprop}} of "accusation".
</blockquote>

;artery

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' art.

<blockquote>''Good evening, but between this and the, uh, oh, and the other clips I would like to present you, uh, a few examples of hand '''artery'''.''<ref>[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Not to be confused with the term for blood vessels. Chris doesn't seem to realize "art" is already a noun and doesn't need the suffix, and that "artistry" also exists.
</blockquote>

;as such

<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' In the manner previously described.

<blockquote>''They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me '''as such'''.''<ref name=FatherCall>[[Father Call]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris overuses this phrase to the point of self-parody. He's either tacking it on to fill space when he can't think of the next thing to say, or he's peppering it into his language in a feeble attempt to sound intelligent.
</blockquote>

;ass burgers

<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' [[Asperger's Syndrome]]

<blockquote> ''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism directly, as Chris instead alludes to it as "a bad cut of cow meat".</blockquote>

Origin: Since the CWCipedia Saga, Chris has been noted for disliking Asperger's Syndrome, viewing it as something that makes autistic people look bad due to the term vaguely sounding like "ass burgers". Chris has alternatively suggested the term can also sound like "something that can be picked nasally", aka "ass boogers".
</blockquote>

;ass manager
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Either a misspelling or a derogatory term for "assistant manager," based on the abbreviation "ass. manager."

<blockquote>''I did not learn until much later that the spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it would, as well as learning that they were the so-called "Manager" and "Ass Manager" of that particular store.''<ref name=ShitMeetFan>[[December 2014 Facebook Posts#Shit, Meet Fan]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has only used this term once, when referring to the [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]]. It's unclear if this was a misspelling or [[Manajerk|yet]] [[Jerkop|another]] childish insult based on someone's job title.</blockquote>

;[[Attraction Location|attraction location]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any place Chris may sit to gain the attention of any passing women, only to get promptly kicked out afterward.

<blockquote>''Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an '''Attraction Location'''.''<ref name=CurrentDays>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, having a very difficult socializing with women, thought that sitting around in a certain place and soliciting himself would be a better alternative. Therefore, it would make sense to him to sit in a location with many people in order to gain the attention of several women.</blockquote>

;attraction time

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The time that is spent at an attraction location

<blockquote>''Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my '''attraction time'''''.<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;audio-sonic feeling

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the arousing feeling caused by getting hit by sound waves

<blockquote>''Here is a most '''audio-sonic feeling'''. While at the club last night, the [[Chris and music|music]] was loud, maybe reverberating or echoing. The music and beats literally shook up my rack! I actually Felt the music playing and reverbing within my breasts, almost like my breasts had become a pair of speakers. It Felt Amazing and Arousing!''<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Manboob Tunes]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: As shown in the quote above, Chris believed that he was sexually aroused when sound waves hit him. In actuality, sound, a vibration,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sound</ref> creates pressure. The louder the sound, the more pressure gets created from the wave. Therefore, very loud music should be able to hit Chris given that he's a [[obesity|huge target]], creating that "arousing" feeling, which is actually an alternation between high and low pressures.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
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== B ==
|-
|

;B-dog
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Derogatory epithet for women.

<blockquote>''Then that [[Mary Lee Walsh|'''B-Dog''']] ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY.''<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Childish censorship of the word "bitch"; bitch also meaning "female dog". [[Bubbles Rosechu]] is implied to say this in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], when she shouts "BEEE..!!!" at [[Silvana]].<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_8/Page_95|Issue 8 Pages 94-95}}</ref>
</blockquote>

;bally
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' round; having the texture of a perfectly round ball.

<blockquote>''I've always given her a "'''Bally'''-Scratch" where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a rubber ball.''<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: If one didn't know Chris was referring to his dog, Patti, and that he gives her a "Bally-scratch" on the head, one might conclude that he's fondling someone's genitals. Chris, [[CWC-isms#N|naive]] to how suggestive this sounds, gave this special kind of petting the name "Bally-scratching" because of how stroking her head felt like he was squeezing a rubber ball.</blockquote>

;Be Woman
<blockquote>1. ''(verb phrase)'' Be '''a''' woman.

<blockquote>''I am a Lesbian Transwoman; I am not confused or mentally ill about that; '''I Am Woman.'''''<ref>[[March 2017 tweets#Proud_to_be_a_feminist]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''How Dare You Insult and be so Inconsiderate of Her like that? '''She Is Woman'''; she would Never Revert Back.''<ref>[[NightStar2891_tweets#She_is_woman]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used regularly when Chris asserts his [[Tomgirl|transgender identity]], notable for the consistent lack of a proper article and capitalization of each word in the phrase. Originally only attested in the first person ("I Am Woman"), a post on Chris's [[Miss Night Star]] Twitter sockpuppet account uses the third person ("She Is Woman"). Technically first appears in [[Sonichu 8]] when [[The Incredible Lioness]] attacks [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], as the somewhat cliché musical reference [[wikipedia:I Am Woman|"I am woman, hear me roar!"]], which may have inspired Chris's broader use of the phrase. This could be a reference to the Bhagavad Gita or Oppenheimer ("Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.") [[honor roll|but this is unlikely]].
</blockquote>



;Bigfoot hunts
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The act of taking photos of Chris when you spot him in public.

<blockquote>''I've had it with those shutterbug...Bigfoot hunts imposed upon me because ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!<ref>[[C-Log 03182026]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in C-Log 03182026, where Chris complains about sightings of him being posted online, all while inadvertently comparing himself to a big, smelly ape.
</blockquote>

;[[Biological clock|biological clock]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Wikipedia:Circadian Rhythm|circadian rhythm]]

<blockquote>'''I have a lot of stored caffeene [sic] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking '''biological clock''' as well.''<ref>[[Biological clock]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Although technically not used incorrectly in this context, the phrase "biological clock" is used exclusively for women in their child-bearing years. Possibly a confusion with "internal clock".
</blockquote>

;blangry
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' [[Chris and anger|Angry]].

<blockquote>''Oh, and how 'bout this?! I get '''BLANGRY'''! ''<ref>[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Given Chris's belief that he has [[Chris and English|mastered the English language]] and his [[speech impediment]], it's likely he meant to say angry.
</blockquote>

;blue-printed
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Skilled in engineering.

<blockquote>''I like many others, was born a foal; to a '''blue-printed''' Pegasus and a country tomboy earth mare.''<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot_20171019-235945_01-png.299275/</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris portrayed Bob's Pony Counterpart in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] as an engineer, just like the real [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]. Due to Chris's limited vocabulary, Chris knew few words to describe Bob's profession. Derived from the word "blueprints", the plans set for the design of a product. </blockquote>

;[[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Single; particularly used on women.

<blockquote>''Ahh, well, it's been over a year and ten months now since I started my sweetheart-search; I still haven't found a '''boyfriend-free'''-caring-smoke-free-non-alcoholic-white-girl-near-my-age to build a relationship with from the ground up.''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris’s mission in life used to be to obtain a girlfriend and have sex. However, every chance he thinks he gets, they already have a boyfriend. This has made Chris “fear” girls who already have boyfriends.</blockquote>

;breaking my balls, busting my balls

<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' Feeling annoyed, teased, and/or nagged by somebody or something.

<blockquote>''Don't do this, you're '''breaking my balls''' here.''<ref name=SHOWDOWN>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just '''busted my balls''' again, you're going to jail.''<ref name=SHOWDOWN/></blockquote>

Origin: Originally said by Eric Cartman in an episode of ''[[South Park]]''.
</blockquote>

;Buddha belly
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Excess fat that gives a person a [[obesity|very round appearance]].

<blockquote>''Okay, well, I admit I do have a '''Buddha belly''', but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.''<ref name=FatherCall/></blockquote>

Origin: "[[Wikipedia:Buddha|Buddha]]" is a title given to several legendary figures in [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhism]]. In this case, Chris is making reference to [[wikipedia:Budai|Budai]], who is often known as "Fat Buddha". Chris presumably picked up the phrase from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "To Love and Die in Dixie".
</blockquote>

;bugbears
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Trolls]], [[weens]], and other Chris-related orbiters who make him miserable.

<blockquote>''Freaking CyberBullies!!!!!!! Real '''Bugbears''', they are!''<ref>[[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Although the term was originally defined in the 16th century as 'a cause of obsessive fear, anxiety, or irritation.', it was given another definition centuries later to describe a race of hobgoblins [[Wikipedia:Bugbear (Dungeons & Dragons)|made famous]] by ''[[Dungeons and Dragons]]''. It's widely believed that Chris picked up the term from ''[[My Little Pony]]: Friendship is Magic'', which depicted these creatures as literal bear-insect hybrids that are first seen terrorizing the ponies.
</blockquote>

;buh bye bay nose
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' but if anybody knows.

<blockquote>''If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in da bawls. But I can't, because I don't know who or where you are. '''Buh bye bay nose''' the whereabouts of the... [[JERKS|jerk]]... and just happens to be nearby... or within the state? Give him a swick kick for me.''<ref>[[Christian's Update 13 September 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A result of Chris’s [[speech impediment]]</blockquote>

</blockquote>
;but during the stone age...
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A rebuttal for something obvious being stated.

<blockquote>''You don’t have to tell me twice! '''But during the stone age...'''''<ref>[[Sonichu 2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to the [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|Videobook for Sonichu #2]], the phrase originates from how you need to “tell cavemen twice” over anyone else.</blockquote>

;[[Butt garments|butt garment]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Leaked footage of Chris in a butt garment]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an adult diaper; typically one used to control Chris's [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontenence]].

<blockquote>''The doctor corrected that they were liners; he never called them diapers. Neither did Chris- he called them “'''butt garments'''”.''</blockquote>

Origin: To avoid embarrassment from stating that he shits himself constantly, and uses incontinence pads, Chris refers to them as butt garments.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== C ==
|-
|

;C-Log
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Captain's Log.

<blockquote>'''''C-Log''' February 4th, 2010. First off, I'm not dead, and I have a few announcements to make.''<ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: For quite some time, Chris has had the habit of abbreviating certain words or phrases that begin with "'''C'''", possibly for [[Chris and his Ego|his name also beginning with "'''C'''"]], as well as to put greater emphasis on the letter C in the words he abbreviates. Other examples of this kind of abbreviation include "C-Mas" and "C-Ville".
</blockquote>

;C-Mas
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Christmas

<blockquote> ''The [[Christmas]] season is upon us, and with that comes the rush for the '''C-Mas''' Turkey, Tree (real or artificial), and of course, the presents. So, Sonichu and the News Dash have some helpful tips to give a better feel of the season to all.<ref>[[Sonichu's_News_Dash#A_Very_Special_Holiday_Chris-chan]]
</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: See ''C-Log''.
</blockquote>

;C Ville (or C-Ville)
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' [[Charlottesville, VA]].

<blockquote>''Look, you're going to back in '''C-Ville''' tomorrow, I can meet you at the McDonalds at Forest Lakes, what time is good for our meeting?''<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Generic term for any city whose name fits the pattern of beginning with "C" and ending with "ville," e.g., [[CWCville]], Charlottesville, etc.

<blockquote>''And when you diss Cwcville you disf- you diss every "'''C Ville'''" within these United States.''<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: See ''C-Log''.
</blockquote>

;[[Captain's Log|Captain's Log]]
[[File:CWCtrek1.png|400px|right|thumb|The Autistic Generation]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' The classic opening for a vlog video Chris makes to adress the fanbase, which includes the date of production. Replaced in 2015 with "live from home once again".

<blockquote>'''''Captain's Log'''. Stardate: September... 24th, 2008.''<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: One may come to the conclusion that Chris picked up this phrase from Star Trek, however, Chris is neither a fan of the Star Trek franchise, nor has he seen any clips of the show<ref>[[Mailbag_3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_14]]</ref>. It is more likely that Chris picked up the phrase from cartoons like [[Family Guy]], which references Star Trek, considering how much he watched the show religiously.</blockquote>

;carniverous
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' evil, vengeful.

<blockquote>''On today's show, we will take a close-up look at the '''carniverous''' jerkops.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic5P29.htm</ref></blockquote>Origin: A misspelling of "carnivorous". It is unknown what word Chris meant to use here, but "carnivorous" certainly wasn't it.</blockquote>

;[[china]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Female genitalia

<blockquote>''I love dykes! DYKES! '''CHINA!'''''<ref>[[CWC's_Second_Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, uncomfortable with directly saying the word "vagina", decided to alter the word to a cutesy, similar-sounding word. Based off of a term for porcelain "china".</blockquote>

;coldest shoulder

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' to rebel.

<blockquote>''Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who turned '''Coldest Shoulder''' Against me and STARTED all of the Online Hatred.''<ref>[[April_2012_Facebook_posts]]</ref>

''One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time Manajerks who gives her elders the '''coldest of shoulders'''.''<ref>[[Coffee Place]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misuse of the phrase "turning a cold shoulder", a phrase used for the negligence of another person<ref>https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/turn-a-cold-shoulder-to</ref>. </blockquote>

;Come Adore
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A sermon from Chris's religion.
<blockquote>''That's all for now. Be safe and well.

Mrs. Jesus Christine Chan Sonichu.

Commodore Come Adore<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 June 2022]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Yet another retarded pun from Chris, specifically based on the [[Commodore 64]].
</blockquote>

;[[Comeuppance|comeuppance]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Male orgasm.
<blockquote>''...I feel my '''comeuppance''' and I come into your mouth, my [[semen]] is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop. (...) And right after I'd given you my first round, my first '''comeuppance''', you would take, you would reach down, and you would take your face away from my penis...''<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' [[Semen]], usually immediately after ejaculation. ''See also: [[CWC-isms#N|Navy]]''
<blockquote>''Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until you get the first dosage of my '''comeuppance'''!''<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Chris uses the sexual slang "cum" as a [[For Julie's Eyes Only|verb]] for orgasm, but he may not realize it can also be a noun referring to ejaculate. In his mind, "comeuppance" apparently serves that purpose, viz., "that which has come/cum up."

In the real world, "comeuppance" is an English noun meaning [[Wiktionary:comeuppance|outcome which is justly deserved]] based upon the common verb "come," i.e., the state of coming forward to receive judgment. He is either unaware of the original definition of the word or does not appreciate the irony of telling women he's going to give them comeuppance.

Note that the contexts of the real word and Chris's version are different. When a woman is rebuked, she receives her comeuppance; when a woman gets Chris's hot load in her face, she receives ''his'' "comeuppance."
</blockquote>

;count you(r) blessing(s)
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used as a retort when someone complains about the quality of your work.
<blockquote>It’s an early thing; it will improve later on. Curb your enthusiasm and '''count your blessing.'''</blockquote>
Origin: In [[January 2020]] Chris was seen using the phrase when he was attacked after chimping out about being blocked on social media. Recently people have been questioning the quality of the newest [[medallions]], produced by [[Praetor]]. Chris, perhaps in an attempt to "calm the trolls down'' tells them to '''count their blessings''.</blockquote>

;crash into slumber (or crash and burn)
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To get so sad and [[Chris and stress|stressed out]] that you get tired from exhaustion.

<blockquote>And… the void in my heart that requires a sweetheart is open again, and it hurts. I hope you jerks and trolls who wanted to break us up… are happy… 'cause all you did was make me feel sad and depressed. And you made me '''crash… into slumber'''… a couple of times. And you know, it takes a lot of stress and exhaust… and such… to make a person feel like they're gonna crash and burn… into a whole bunch of s-- into a long slumber… that just basically sleeps o-- that just basically sleeps off the—uh, what's the word I was looking for? I had it. Ugh…<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris famously said that he "crashed into slumber" in the video [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]], where he shows off how depressed and angry he was with his latest tomfoolery at the time. It could be because that one of Chris's main methods of coping with his stress is to sleep it off, and tried to make it sound hyperbolic by stating that he "crashed" onto the bed, as if he tried to get it done sooner.</blockquote>

;crestfallen
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Sad and disappointed

<blockquote>''I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt '''crestfallen''' greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!''<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#Graduation]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I also HAD Hidden ALL of the Blue Armed Sonic Toys at Toys R Us here, concealed hidden amongst their metal cupboards, so they ALL would NOT be SOLD, and Best Boycotted for The Protest! They remained hidden for the longest time of over a Month; found and reshelved near the 20th of December to my personal dismay and '''crestfall'''. And at Best Buy, ALL Copies of THEIR Sonic Boom Games are STILL SUCCESSFULLY CONCEALED AND HIDDEN from View AND Purchase!''<ref name=ShitMeetFan/></blockquote>

Origin: Another obscure word Chris liked to use a lot, even today. It even got to the point where he tried to put it into a baffling progressive tense "to my dismay and crestfall".</blockquote>

;crooks
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Those who may steal Chris's intellectual property for malicious purposes. ''(pl.)''

<blockquote>''I aways keep my eyes open for '''crooks''' who take my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]]'s name and put it in offensive use!''<ref>''[[:File:116-CWCCop.jpg|116-CWCCop.jpg]]''</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' websites, and even words on websites which communicate lies about Chris.

<blockquote>''And that [[ED]] page is one of those crooks. Every page--every word on the discussion page is a '''crook'''.''<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A finishing move Chris does on his adversaries in order to "curse" them, publicly or otherwise.

<blockquote>''Hmmm...'''Curse-ye-ha-me-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!'''''<ref>[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A reference to the Kamehameha energy attack from the [[Dragon Ball]] series, performed in the same way it is in the anime. Chris believes that he possesses [[Chris and reality#Magic|magical powers]]. Typically, these so-called magical powers would be used whenever an enemy gets in the way of whatever he wants to do, since Chris is too afraid to actually fight anyone. Therefore, he will rely on this magical power in order to gain control of whoever is giving him trouble.</blockquote>

;CWC-sense
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The ability to sense Chris's presence.

<blockquote> ''Seriously though, awesome timing coming in, just as we, and Chris, had just finished writing the lyrics...was your '''CWC-sense''' tingling?''<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/15092809</ref></blockquote></blockquote>

;Cwcspirational
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' of or giving inspiration; inspiring

<blockquote>''Thank you, Miss Franklin for that '''Cwcspirational''' Track. :)''<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref ></blockquote>

Origin: Chris once used the word in place of inspirational to describe Aretha Franklin's "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]".</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== D ==
|-
|

;D.A.
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation)'' Unexplained, presumably a substitution to avoid the word "dumbass." Most likely ''not'' "District Attorney," although equally applicable to [[Marvey Blaziken]].

<blockquote>''You are obviously a troll trying to pick on my nerves; nice try, '''D.A.'''''<ref>[[Mailbag 15]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris intermittently decides to self-censor his profanities for the benefit of younger readers.
</blockquote>

;da
<blockquote>1. ''(article)'' [[Wikipedia:Eye dialect|Eye dialect]] spelling of the word [http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/the the].

<blockquote>''Y'all know me as [[DJ Jamsta|Jamsta Sonichu]], '''da''' DJ with da power!''<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], page 43</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris writes "the" as "da" when he intends for his characters (or himself) to sound laid-back and cool. This is most notable with Jamsta Sonichu, who is supposed to sound like a hip radio DJ and/or a [[Chris and race#Black_people|Jamaican man]]. Chris may intend at times to do the same thing in his verbal communications, although his [[speech impediment]] makes it difficult to tell when he actually means to say "da."
</blockquote>

;Da Update
[[File:Daupdate.jpg|thumb|400px|[[Megan]], comparing Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|attitude]] to [[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]].]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' The latest news.

2. ''(phrase)'' The most recent fail Chris is responsible for.

<blockquote>''Hey, guys! What's '''da update'''?''</blockquote>

Origin: Dialogue used by Chris, in an exceedingly awkward attempt to sound casual, in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. As Chris's [[fans]] have searched the Internet for the latest news from our hero, "da update" has become shorthand for "the latest [[Relics of Fail|failure]] Chris has committed." The phrase became legendary when posted above the Chris-chan talk page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] (eventually the page was locked, forcing mass migration to the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]]).

</blockquote>

;[[Darling|darling]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A potential lover, even one that shows no affection back at you.

<blockquote>''Thank you, Doopie '''Darling'''. :)<ref>[[July 2017 tweets#Thanks, darling]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris, so hellbent on being [[Chris and kindness|kind]] to just about any potential sweetheart he met, thinks it's appropriate to refer to women he doesn't know outside of the internet by pet names to sound like he really cares for them, despite it being creepy to most other people. Chris's main justification for using this word on women who don't bond with him is that the actor [[Wikipedia:Tallulah Bankhead|Tallulah Bankhead]] used this word a lot, ignoring the fact that she only did this while on set and was an attractive woman.</blockquote>

;[[Dating education|Dating Education]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' formal education in schools about dating people of the opposite sex.

<blockquote>''Also, in addition, while we also fully support Sexual Education in every high school, Christian Weston Chandler also highly recommends, and would gladly support, '''Dating Education''' classes, because, while Sex Ed is great for the eventual, well-earned intercourse after 3 or more dates, it is vital to learn what to do before that moment. It should be well0taught how to approach and ask one’s member of the opposite gender out for the very first date.''<ref>[[:File:DatingEducation.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The lack of "Dating Education classes" is something that Chris used to complain about all of the time, because he's simply incapable of finding a [[CWC-isms#S|sweetheart]], and that it would be a great advantage for people of his type to learn how to do so. Chris doesn't understand that a key aspect of obtaining a mate is to develop the proper [[Chris and socialization|social skills]], especially those around [[women]], and that it has very little to do with how much sex he has with them.</blockquote>

;dementia
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A synonym for Chris's [[autism]].

<blockquote>''My brain is blank and, I definitely wouldn't have realized. Word of the day, Dementia. The umbrella term for all the mentally wearing down people, I got some dementia okay? So give me time, give me space, alright? And some slack.''<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;detail
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A thing of importance that Chris cannot recall at any given moment.

<blockquote>''I do not have the appropriate calm state of mind to make time to READ those numerous upon numerous small-print '''details''', much less memorize them.''<ref>[[Wikipedia#May 2009 drama]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun)'' Something that Chris does not understand.

<blockquote>''There was one I remember from then where the essay had a lot of offensive content, including smoking, and I spoke my mind on how offended I was of it. Plus other details I misunderstood that he was expecting in the assignments.'' <ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's ability to retain information is questionable (unless it's about [[Sonichu (comic)|something]] [[Lego|he]] [[Pokémon|obsesses]] [[PS3|over]]). As such, he "misunderstands" and "forgets" a lot of glaringly important things, such as [[Father Call|how to live on his own]] and [[Jackie E-mails 2|the fact that he cheated on Ivy]].
</blockquote>

;devotee
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An [[enablers|enabler]] of Chris.

<blockquote>''Ah, I believe I have the proper term. Going from "Worshiper", I checked the thesaurus:"'''Devotee'''" in the term sounds better. "Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu"(DoCCS). This is my better educates and thought suggestion." ''<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Believing himself to be a goddess, Chris needed a term to refer to any of his followers. The term was originally "worshiper", but then after a quick thesaurus search, he decided to change the term to "devotees", solely because he thought it sounded smarter. Although technically a synonym of "worshiper", the term "devotee" is more often used in Eastern religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism.
</blockquote>

;Did the do, to do the do
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To have sexual intercourse, likely under deceptive conditions

<blockquote>''[[Lovely Weather|Lovely]] was hot. She mistook me for myself and we went home from work that night, so Lovely and I '''did the do''', and it was awesome!''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_10/Page_2|Issue 10 Page 2}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An even more benign variation of the common euphemism for sex, "doing it". Likely taken from [[Wikipedia:Emission_Impossible|an episode]] of [[Family Guy]].
</blockquote>

;dige
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Marijuana

<blockquote>''My name's [[Inos]]... wha' chu up to? I am eclectic on this hedge... high on the hog... you wan' som' of this '''dige''', mon?''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Issue_10/Page_70|Issue 10 Page 70}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Intended to be part of a coded reference to "Sonichu, Electric Hedgehog Digimon". It is not known why he changed the reference from "Pokemon" to "Digimon".
</blockquote>

;[[dimensions|dimension]]
[[File:Chrisminecraft.jpg|right|thumb|In a universe of multiple realities, anything is possible according to Chris.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Either our universe or a fictional one, such as the one in which ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' or ''[[My Little Pony]]'' are set, both held to be equally [[Chris and reality|real]] in Chris's ontology.

<blockquote>''For Our Home World and All other '''Dimensions''', Realities and Worlds; All Of Us! Dance! Dance! Dance!!!''<ref>[[Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Dumbing down some physicists' hypothetical notion of other physical universes embedded in mathematically higher-dimensional space, which has since seeped into pop culture and thence down to Chris.
</blockquote>

;[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Used as a reference to Chris's fecal incontinence.

<blockquote>''I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF '''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS'''.''<ref>[[IRC_(20_January_2009)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this phrase during an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] after they alleged that Chris has a fondness to wear women's underwear. In order to confirm his straightness, he retorted by admitting the fact that he has "NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". Soon after, due to how humorous the phrase sounded, it became a shorthand for trolls to refer to Chris's fecal incontinence.</blockquote>

;disabled of crafting
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Too apathetic to work

<blockquote>''Since last December with the Lulu.com problems (resolved), that has left me with a bad emotional and mental scar. Leaving me feeling '''disabled of crafting'''...''<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Too lazy to work]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris being defensive when a customer asked how he could be trusted to follow through on an order, when he had failed to send out orders from his Etsy shop, which resulted in his seller account getting closed.
</blockquote>

;dispel
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Reject, turn away

<blockquote>''[T]o dispel me is to discriminate against the LGBTQ community as well.<ref>[[Unban_contracts#GameStop|GameStop unban contract]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misunderstanding of the meaning of the word.</blockquote>

;Dork of Ages
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Someone who deserves scorn for creating an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article on you.

<blockquote>He is the '''Dork of Ages'''. Y'all should be sending every last complaint and hatred towards—rain down upon him. Send him every last email you can. Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, [gives a thumbs down] along with him.<ref name=AttentionAll>[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used on [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after he created Chris's Encyclopedia Dramatica page. This phrase was [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|taken]] from the American Dad episode "Dungeons and Wagons", where Hayley called Steve the "Dork of Ages" while he played "Dragon Shuffle".</blockquote>

;Drunk, High Aqua Teenatic
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Backstabber.

<blockquote>''You could be a Better, More Supportive Friend, instead of a '''Drunk, High Aqua Teenatic''' with your sweetheart!!!''<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Quinn breaks up with Chris again]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bizarre attempt to turn the title of the Adult Swim cartoon, ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' into an insult.</blockquote>

;[[duck]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|An example of a bent duck]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's penis

<blockquote>''MY '''DUCK''' HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!''<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Initially "duck" was taken to be a typo of "dick" since the "u" and "i" keys are close together. It was later revealed that Chris was using this neologism as an intentional euphemism to refer to his own penis.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

''See also:'' [[CWC-isms#P|pickle]]</blockquote>

;dyke

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A vagina.

<blockquote>I love dykes! DYKES! '''CHINA!'''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In actuality, the word dyke (or dike) refers to an embankment, wall, or ridge built to control or confine water. It is also a derogatory term for [[lesbian]]s, which is somewhat ironic, given Chris's homophobia at the time.</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== E ==
|-
|

;elbow-greased
[[Image:Elbow-Greased Strength.jpg|200px|thumb|Chris gets swole]]

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Earned from hard work and exercise

<blockquote>''There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism. It appears in his [[Chris's resume|resume]], where he lists "elbow-greased strength" as one of his "functional skills"''</blockquote>

Origin: A misuse of the idiom, "elbow-grease", a figure of speech humorously used for tasks that involve manual labor only. </blockquote>

;[[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]''

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any of the characters found in Sonichu which are hybrids of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] characters and/or Pokemon.

<blockquote>''Since the inspiration and conception of Sonichu, the '''Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon''' on March 17, 2000, I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books.''<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Despite the name, a majority of "Electric Hedgehog Pokemon" are neither Pokemon or hedgehogs. This misnomer may come from Chris's original characters being hybrids of two Sonic characters, both of whom are hedgehogs (Sonic and Amy Rose) and two Pokémon (Pikachu and Raichu).</blockquote>

;emotional differences

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A strong disagreement between two people.

<blockquote>''I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, '''emotional differences.'''''<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris mentioned that he got terminated from [[Wendy's]] in the [[Father Call]], due to their "emotional differences", possibly meaning that a heated argument between him and his employer ensued.</blockquote>

;empirical
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' resorting to experience to gain knowledge rather than through scientific means.

<blockquote>''So, throw away the book talk; be '''empirical''' and believe what you know is fact'' <ref>[[October 2012 Facebook posts#Empirical]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris attributed the nearly opposite definition of the word to Jeremy Hilary Boob PhD, a character from ''{{w|Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine}}''. Considering this, Chris must have picked up this strange definition from the content in the Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band''.</blockquote>

;entendre

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Charisma or attraction

<blockquote>''Too much '''entendre'''?''<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/15092809</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Derived from the phrase "double entendre", a figure of speech used for words or phrases with a double meaning, typically [[Duck|with]] [[Mass Debating|one]] [[China|of]] [[Recycling|them]] [[Pickle|being]] [[Comeuppance|risque]].<ref>https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/double%20entendre</ref> In English, the word "entendre" isn't typically used outside of the phrase itself, but in many other languages like French and Catalan, it is understood to mean "to hear" or "to understand". Chris, thinking he knows everything there is to know about the English language, once again thought he would sound smart by using this obscure word.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== F ==
|-
|

;F-yay
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' A euphemism for the swear word "fucking".

<blockquote>''For all this time, every single time, [[Mass debating|it takes me fifteen '''f-yay''' minutes]].''<ref>[[Workaholics Anonymous comic]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Seen in the [[Workaholics Anonymous comic]] from [[March 2021]] and again in [[August 2025]].<ref>[[August 2025 social media posts#Decepticlone Punislav... yay]]</ref> The yay comes from Fluttershy's cheer in the [[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]] episode Sonic Rainboom, which was a popular meme in the brony fanbase.</blockquote>

;[[Fangs|fangs]]
[[File:Showing_Off_Fangs.jpg|thumb|right|200px|How Chris imagined himself when showing off his canines]]
[[File:ChrisCavities.JPG|thumb|right|200px|The reality. The red arrows point to Chris's cavities]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's canine teeth.

<blockquote>''They're called Eye-Teeth, but they feel and look like '''fangs''' of a vampire, dog or something to me.''<ref>[[Sonichu_Girls#Your_understanding_me_fukky_.281_January_2009.29]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I'm not afraid to SHOW MY '''FANGS'''!''<ref>[[CWC_Update_8_January_2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes his teeth to be unordinary compared to most other people's teeth, apparently believing canine teeth are some kind of special trait only a selected few people have. Because he believes his canines to be menacing, he gave them the name "fangs". Once in a while, Chris would show off his decaying teeth to scare his enemies. This usually works, although for the wrong reasons.</blockquote>

;faredoo
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection, imperative verb)'' Parting salutation, akin to "goodbye".

<blockquote>''Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. I bid you fond...'''faredoo'''. Adieu. Fond farewell adieu...''<ref>[[The MovingFoward videos]].</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Accidental portmanteau of "farewell" and "adieu".
</blockquote>

;fart-minded

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' dumb and perverted.

<blockquote>Ha Ha! Take THAT, you '''fart-minded''', jerk [[MALE]] among ALL fart-minded, jerk Males that make up the Majority of the Worldwide Male Population! -:D<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivtWQTjXCDs</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in the comment section of a Stopmotion Lego animation, where a ''Lego'' minifigure is in a sexual relationship with a ''Lego Friends'' minifigure. Throughout this video, the Lego minifigure essentially acts how Chris believes most men do. At the end of the video, the male minifigure proceeds to fart, which disgusts the female minifigure. Also a possible butchering of the phrase "brainfart", which is used to humorously refer to a moment of absentmindedness.</blockquote>

;firstly
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' A word that indicates that Chris is about to tell someone why he's right. Often not followed by an enumerated list of reasons, despite the implication.

<blockquote>'''''Firstly''', Aspergers is NOTHING Similar to Autism; Aspergers pertains to MEMORY, Autism is Social Skills. and I'm High-Functionally Autistic''<ref name=IRC2January09>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]].</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Use of "firstly" to begin a list, rather than "first," is a matter of dispute. While both words exist in the dictionary, "Firstly" has fallen out of common use in speech and tends to sound more formal, perhaps overly so. Chris seems to like this formality, probably because he thinks it sounds smart.
</blockquote>

;French side dish
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A kiss that involves the usage of one's tongue.

<blockquote>''"I LOVE YOU" would be shared daily with a '''French side dish'''.''<ref>[[For My True Love, I Would…]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bizarre take on the phrase "French kiss".
</blockquote>

;fondful
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' fond.

<blockquote>''Faithfully yours with '''fondful''' thoughts; Chris Chan.''<ref>[[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007|Chris's email to Megan Schroeder]], 06 July 2007</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris apparently doesn't understand that "fond" is already an adjective by itself.
</blockquote>

;for good-like
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' final, but with the imagined possibility otherwise.

<blockquote>''And in June of 2008, he banned me from the store '''for good-like'''.''<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails|Chris's email to The Wallflower]], 18 February 2010</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Confusing modification of "for good".
</blockquote>

;foresee/foretell/foreknow
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To make a wild guess at something occuring, claiming it's a "prediction".

<blockquote>''#Saberspark Is right. This is one reason why I stay clear from certain games and shows. My intuition also senses and '''foresees''' the quality and feel without even having to watch or play it at all''<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#Brainrot]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(verb)'' To have predicted something that already happened or that someone else claimed would happen, but didn't.

Origin: Chris claims he has the ability to predict the future, an aspect of his divinity. However, Chris only ever makes these claims whenever an event has already happened, claiming he predicted it would, or when he makes a confident guess at the future based purely on his intuition.
</blockquote>

;foundate
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' To dedicate, as in a monument or building.

<blockquote>''I, Christian Weston Chandler, re-'''foundate''' this monument that is the PAGE with MY SOLE HONEST TRUTH from my sound mind and heart.''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|1=Christian_in_his_Own_Words#Captain.27s_Log.2C_Stardate:_June_6.2C_2009|2=Christian in his Own Words}}.</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Likely a portmanteau of "found" and "dedicate", or a bizarre attempt to convert "foundation" into a verb.
</blockquote>

;four-boomerang-shaped symbol
[[File:Fourboom.jpg|thumb|right|"G'Day welcome to Auschwitz"]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' minced oath for "[[Wikipedia:swastika|swastika]]," especially the ''Hakenkreuz'' symbol of the [[Nazis|Nazi]] Party.

<blockquote>''Like Most People, I do not care much for Adolf; he was a terrible man, and even in jest, I WOULD NEVER want to portray him, much less, his '''four-boomerang-shaped symbol''' (I know what it is called, but I do not wish to type the word).''<ref>[[Mailbag 5#That wacky Hitler|Mailbag 5]]
</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris was apparently afraid to say the word "swastika," probably for the same reason he used to [[Niggos|fear using racial slurs]].
</blockquote>

;fourth wall

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A boundary that separates [[Reality Cartoon|reality cartoons]] and [[Dimensions|dimensions]] from dimension C-197.

<blockquote>''Hey, Everyone. I have another announcement for you all to do now, for yourselves and our OCs: Break Your Own '''Fourth Wall'''.
<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1195039493130199041</ref>''</blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' An abstract force that prevents people from talking to their OC's.

<blockquote>Our OCs in C-197 often break their '''fourth walls''', because they are aware of us, and it is our time and turn to return the favour.</blockquote>

Origin: Comes from the phrase "breaking the fourth wall", a figure of speech humorously used on characters that acknowledge the audience directly, or state their awareness of the media they're in. Chris has taken this to mean that all dimensions in the universe are separated by this kind of barrier, therefore calling them "the fourth wall". In a recent Twitter post, Chris has also stated that this mysterious force is the reason why people cannot see or interact with their OC's, but that the OC's themselves are fully aware of their creators, so will eventually break through the barrier every once in a while to speak to people of other dimensions.</blockquote>

;[[Friend Zone|friend zone]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The dreaded moment a sweetheart rejects you.

<blockquote>''A lot of times, especially if the friend in question is opposite of gender 18 or older, they may have sex on the brain. And when that person hears from you that you just want to be friends, or in the other term, put into the '''Friend Zone''', that person will feel like they failed at getting the sex they wanted, or Ever will from you.''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The lousiest excuse a sweetheart could give for not having sex with Chris.

<blockquote>''Nothing has happened in Women's Rights; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The Friend Zone refers to a relationship where one person desires romance, while the other only shows interest in friendship. Much like his stance on the Three-Date Rule, Chris believed that the Friend Zone is simply another rule explicitly placed on him by some unspecified authority to slow down his progress on completing his [[Love Quest]]. His belief that this is simply an "excuse" to avoid having sex with him reveals a lot on why he was [[Megan|overly-persistent with]] [[Wallflower|some of]] [[Doopie|his sweethearts]]. He couldn't imagine why any woman would not want to have sex with him, so he came to the conclusion that every woman he stalks are simply unfamiliar with sex and what goes into it.</blockquote>

;[[Fuzzy-wuzzies|fuzzy-wuzzies]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The rewards of giving Chris compliments.

<blockquote>''Compliments will get you '''fuzzy-wuzzies'''.''<ref name=FutureMessage>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. Believed to be another example of Chris's random-access humor. May have been derived from an English assignment in [[Manchester High School|high school]], "[[Manchester High Leaks#Warm Fuzzies|Warm Fuzzies for Christian]]".

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#P|prickly-wicklies]]
</blockquote>

{{clear}}
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== G ==
|-
|

;[[Gal pal|gal-pal]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a female friend.

<blockquote>''And also, I would like to give a shout-out to...Ivy, sweet '''gal-pal''' of mine...and her friend Rachel across the hall from her, in a college within these United States!''<ref>[[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris rarely refers to any of his female friends as just "friends", simply because he thinks that all female friends have the potential to be [[CWC-isms#S|sweethearts]] before they're in the dreaded [[Friend Zone]]. Chris also states that due to his autism, this somehow means that he gets along much more easily with girls than with guys. <ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref> Although this could be more due to the fact that he overall has had much better experiences with girls than with boys growing up, especially in high school. This has caused him to pick up more [[Transgender|effeminate traits and characteristics]]. The term "gal-pal" is typically used by women when they are talking to other people in their social clique. Chris therefore picked this phrase up from the girls he's talked to (possibly using the phrase because he sees himself as "one of the girls"). It is also common for [[homos]] to use this to refer to their female friends.
</blockquote>
;gawd
<blockquote>
1. ''(interjection)'' eye dialect of "god", Used in the place of "god" when it is used to express annoyance, shock, or pain.

<blockquote>''Life is f***ed up. (I had a real stressful Sunday afternoon) '''Gawd'''! Just... GAWD!!!''<ref>[[April 2017 tweets#STRESSFUL SUNDAY. GAWD!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly meant to add dramatic effect to saying "god", which is already used to add dramatic effect.</blockquote>

;gaybian
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a male lesbian.

<blockquote>''Uh... simply put—and I am willing to say this... in sound mind and body: I... am a '''gaybian'''.''<ref>[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only used this word once in the video [[Chris_Comes_Out_of_the_Closet]]. Before this video, [[Clyde Cash]] had threatened to harm [[Julie]] under the condition that Chris refuses to admit that he's gay. Chris being Chris, he had absolutely no idea that he was once again under another elaborate trolling scheme, and had no clue how to handle the situation. Chris thought he could be sly and admit to being gay, while also being attracted to women. Thus, he tacked on the word "gay" onto "lesbian" to create the word "gaybian" so that he can say that he's a "male lesbian", despite this being a complete contradiction within itself.</blockquote>

;geinus
[[Image:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|I'M A MAD GEINUS! [[Doctor Robotnik|ROBOTNIK]]! ROBOTNIK!]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' a genius

<blockquote>''Robotnik! Robotnik! I'm a mad '''geinus'''! Robotnik, Robotnik!''<ref>[[Sonichu 1]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An accidental misspelling of "genius", this CWC-ism is the result of Chris's ability to spell, or lack thereof. In his futile attempts to spell words with "eni", he substitutes this with "ein", possibly due to his habit of spelling words phonetically.</blockquote>

;get it through your skulls
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Used to clarify something to your fans
<blockquote>''So everybody '''get it through your skulls''', I'm the real deal.'' <ref>[[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this term a lot when trying to clarify various misconceptions about him, such as his straightness, and who the real CWC was. Variations of the phrase include "GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS", "Get it through your damn, dirty, immature skulls!", and "Get through your damn, dirty, stupid, idiotic, immature skulls".</blockquote>

;gitar
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' A guitar

Origin: How Chris pronounces the word "guitar".
</blockquote>

;give birth, give the birth
<blockquote>
1. ''(verb)'' To transfer possession of the state of having been born, by bearing as offspring.

<blockquote>''My mother and my father are both really nice, old-fashioned-type people who not only '''gave the birth'''--gave me birth at their ages...which my mother is sixty-six, currently, and my father is currently eighty. They both just turned that way in the last couple of months. And, uh, I was born in 1982. They gave me the birth...then, and, uh, anyway, it was so nice of--for them to give me the, uh, birth during the early [[1980s]].''<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to think that a sentence like "Barbara gave birth to Christian" is grammatically equivalent to a sentence like "Barbara gave Go-bots to Christian."
</blockquote>

;GO!
<blockquote>
1. ''(adjective)'' Having a style similar to the cartoon ''Teen Titans Go!''.

<blockquote>''As MUCH, as I would like to agree; Cute as it may be, it is still '''GO!''' Version, and #GOPony is something we Really do not like.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1211396957203247104</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' Of a descent originating from [[Dimensions|dimension CZ-69]].

<blockquote>''Just; Most '''GO!''' individuals are...NO!!!''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1215833863718567937</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this CWC-ism to describe his distaste for the MLP:FiM spinoff series [[Pony Life]], believing it to be in the same vein as Teen Titans Go! due to its artstyle. He would go around on his [[Twitter]] account spamming Hasbro and/or users showing any interest in the show with some of his TSSSF cards as a means of protest using this euphemism to put it under a bad light.
</blockquote>

;go make a rhyme
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to indicate that he is in a [[Chris and writing|poetic]] mood.

<blockquote> ''Oh, Back Off, '''go make a rhyme'''. Love will come your way in good time.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/913230475774369794</ref> Keep Heart, Have hope and faith. Life is a coinkie-dink strafe. Have an open heart, don’t be afraid. Your sweetie is likely in your friendship parade.''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris intended to write a rhyme in order to sound poetic in a tweet, continuing with the rhyming schtick in several subsequent ones. Due to his own laziness, the best Chris could come up with in terms of words that rhyme with "time" is "rhyme".
</blockquote>

;[[Godjesus]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|This is who Chris actually believes in.]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(shorthand)'' God and Jesus Christ.

<blockquote> ''As I have guide, as I was guide [sic] by, uh, God and Jesus. And because I, uh, cheated on Ivy lately, '''Godjesus''' were mad at me, so, even though she r-, even though she requested the recent items of question, sex-, [quietly] sexual stuff--videos and pictures--I am being punished because the trolls are getting their hands on them.''<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And also, who I'd like to thank, '''GodJesus''', our God and our Lord and savior, for their support, for their support as well, I pray to them every day, and I follow, I am guided by Jesus.''<ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris appears to be somewhat aware of the Holy Trinity (Holy Spirit, Son, and Father), the three forms that God takes in mainstream Christianity. Despite accepting Jesus as the son of God, Chris believes that God and Jesus are essentially the same entity. As a result, whenever he mentions God, he is never reluctant to mention Jesus in the same sentence. Because of this, Chris made this CWC-ism as a shorthand of "God and Jesus". This CWC-ism was the primary inspiration for the term "[[Godbear]]" to humorously refer to [[Leonard Bearstein]], who Chris has credited for his name change. Chris now no longer uses his CWC-ism, now referring to both God and Jesus as separate [[OCs]]. Chris now calls God "Emmanuelle".</blockquote>

;grand number of pounds
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' Extremely heavy.

<blockquote> ''Note: The chair weighs a '''grand number of pounds'''!<ref>[[Power]]</ref>'</blockquote>

Origin: Used in a video where he tried to prove his strength to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who was actually [[Joshua Martinez]], by lifting an office chair.
</blockquote>

;grinds my gears
<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to indicate he is annoyed with something.

<blockquote>Firstly, I got your image in my mailbox; while I thank you for your fanart, No Offense, but I do not appreciate Sonichu drawn looking retarded; I feel it '''grinds my gears''' a bit.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In_which_Chris_insults_someone_who_drew_a_picture_for_him]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>Something that '''grinds my gears''' is how people are not accepting of the neutral terms of "darling" or "dear".<ref>[[:File:OpenLetter.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this phrase almost every time he wanted to indicate he was annoyed and not outright [[angry]]. It is believed that Chris has picked up this archaic phrase from [[Family Guy]], specifically from a segment from the show called "What Really Grinds My Gears", where Peter is talking about things that annoy him or "grinds his gears".

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== H ==
|-
|

;hand-drawing
[[Image:Chris holding a pencil.png|thumb|Chris holding a pencil|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An original drawn image, as opposed to a facsimile of that image.

<blockquote>''I mean, does that look like a printout to you? No! It's a '''HAND-DRAWING'''! It's the original hand-drawing of the back cover I constantly used! Among all the other hand drawings on my SHELF! In my BINDERS! IN THIS ROOM! In this house!''<ref>[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(verb)'' To sketch without the aid of digital technology, such as a computer.
[[File:Sonichuipaddrawing2020.jpg|thumb|A non-example made by Chris.]]
<blockquote>''No, actually, what I thought, is that you skip the '''hand-drawing''' and you draw everything on your PhotoShop with your computer mouse.''<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's process for producing his drawings is to draw them, by hand, on physical paper, and then scan the paper into his computer and use image editing software to add effects like lettering or (for the purpose of breaking the fourth wall) photographs. He takes comfort in the belief that ownership of the original paper drawings is evidence of his authorship and will frequently cite this in defense against perceived thieves and trolls.

Chris also thinks that drawing on a computer instead of paper is an inferior method of producing artwork; he thinks the results look "blocky and low-resolution," which probably speaks more to his [[:File:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg|his own experience using MSPaint]] than the artistic quality of, for example, [[Asperchu]]. The fact that a digital artist like Alec Benson Leary is nonetheless ''using his hands'' does not seem to have occurred to Chris.
</blockquote>

;Haterade

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a metaphorical drink consumed by haters.
<blockquote>''Therefore, for all of you '''Haterade'''-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress. <ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref>''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Put down the '''Haterade'''; this is not going against any rules, it is just the way it is. Hey! I still have my flaws, so I am definitely Not a Mary Sue type of OC. Also, if I wanted a shot glass of '''Haterade''', I would read most anything this dimension’s @realDonaldTrump ever wrote.''<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref></blockquote></blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun, informal)'' excessive negativity, criticism, or resentment.

<blockquote>''This is in reference to the Nypical '''Haterade''' Comment of “Get A Job” that is not only thrusted upon me, but to everyone who is creative and have powerful in their own respective, individual rights.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Fan art isn't thoughtful when it feeds into Chris's delusions]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: Originally said by Lars in the 2010 [[Lars Call]]. Chris then used it almost nine years later. Likely a pun on the sports drink Gatorade.
</blockquote>
;[[heart level]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's way of measuring his emotional state

<blockquote>''100% Change the number to change your '''heart level''' and you can write a sentence to indicate how you feel.''<ref>[[Heart_level]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The concept of the "heart level" most likely stems from Chris's inability to understand emotions. As an alternative, Chris tends to use video game terms in order to measure such emotions.</blockquote>

;heal
<blockquote> 1. ''(verb)'' to ejaculate into someone.

<blockquote>''Had I Not '''healed''' her, she would be dead Late August.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris had somehow come to the conclusion that sex with his mother would make her more youthful, hence "healing" her.

</blockquote>

;heartsweet
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a [[sweetheart]].

<blockquote>''Rosey, as often as birds tweet, will you be my lovely '''heartsweet'''?''<ref name=OdeToRosechu>"[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]"</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Rearrangement of "sweetheart," possibly coined initially to provide more rhyming options in poetry. Chris primarily uses this term in Sonichu's dialogue, as the character's pet name for Rosechu. When speaking for himself, Chris tends to prefer "sweetheart," although the trolls use "heartsweet" in conversation with him.

''See also: [[sweetbolt]]''
</blockquote>

;heavyweight
[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|Chris does NOT look like Chris Farley]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Stockboy; person employed to move heavy objects and perform other menial labor.

<blockquote>If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY. [...] If I have to I would be, get one of the '''heavyweights''', that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store.<ref name=FatherCall/></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' heavy.

<blockquote>I do not think Chris Farley looks like me at all, plus he was a LOT more '''heavyweight''' than me, and he was more wild than me.<ref>[[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, as usual, has to repurpose words rather than use the existing words that already mean what he wants to say.
</blockquote>

;hedgehog-defensive (or hedgehog)
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Protecting oneself by curling up into a ball, just like a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hedgehog]].

<blockquote>And I do understand all that. Believe me, and I need not be reminded of the worst part, but my '''hedgehog-defensive''' state and all of the tears and leaking mucus and whole body paralysis that happened to me then and there will haunt me in reminder of that.<ref>[[TooManyGames#Personal_space_talk]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>@MLPSilverQuill, having one’s own spirit killed is really not fun nor funny at all. And, believe me, I was literally in a worse huddled position than what I see here, and I FELT DEVASTATED at that moment. I went full '''Hedgehog Defensive''' and let my quills keep others back. It Hurts<ref>[[April_2019_social_media_posts#Hedgehog-defensive_state]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Replacing the likes of his [[Megatron pistol]] and his [[pepper spray]], Chris has adapted the habit of rolling up into a ball to protect himself from unwanted physical contact. The protective state he dubs "the hedgehog-defensive state" is most likely based off of the spin-dash attack from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, which the titular character uses to attack foes.</blockquote>

;[[hermaphrodite]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A derogatory term for passing transgender women, particularly those that haven't gotten bottom surgery.

<blockquote>''OH MY GOD!!! UGH!!! ARE YOU REALLY A '''HERMAPHRODITE'''?! I'm sorry, but that naughty picture just really shocked me and made me want to throw up. *deep breath* You do have a pretty face, but what happened just now is just like the movie, "The Crying Game", or the Thanksgiving episode of "The Cleveland Show".''<ref>[[Mailbag 25#It's a trap, again!]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' A person of an ambiguous gender, or who is female, who also has a penis.

<blockquote>If a '''Hermaphrodite''', I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin:A misuse of the archaic term for intersex people. Chris appears to use this term to refer to someone he deems as "almost a woman", which is also shown when he referred to some of his female characters as "all female" when having their penises removed. Chris used this term when he noticed that the sweetheart [[Bailey Jay]] had a penis, and she explained to him her experiences as a transwoman. Chris also notably talked about how if he had a "hermaphrodite" as one of his offspring, he'd raise them as a boy. Chris's rather specific usage of this term also shows some of his prior beliefs about gender before he transitioned himself, such as who he deemed "male" or "female" in the first place.</blockquote>

;[[HEXBox]]
[[File:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any of the video game consoles made by Microsoft, primarily the Xbox 360.

<blockquote>I never cared for the '''HEXBox''', and frankly it LACKS heavily in comparison to the Wii and PS3, PLUS YOU HAVE TO PAY THEIR FEES TO EVEN GO ONLINE OR DOWNLOAD DEMOS WITH IT.</blockquote>

Origin: Due to his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Brand Loyalty]], Chris had an irrational hatred for the XBox, simply because of how much you've got to pay for it to access some of its content<ref>[[Mailbag_5]]</ref>. Because Chris viewed this device as a curse to humanity, he tacked the word "hex", which is defined as being a curse, onto the original name of the console.</blockquote>

;hide behind/under his mother's skirt
<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' To behave in a cowardly, immature fashion.

<blockquote>''You come to me now. Come face me like a man. Unless you want to continue being called a cow-a quivelling coward who '''hides under his mother's skirt'''.''<ref>[[Challenge for Clyde II]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An antiquated phrase alluding to children literally hiding behind their mother's skirts when frightened.
</blockquote>

;hippo on one's head
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A predicament or unpleasant situation one is currently facing

<blockquote>''I'M WET. I'M COLD. THERE'S A HIPPO ON MY HEAD. AND CLEARLY, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN.''<ref>[[:File:JailArt15.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Someone's [[wikipedia:Hippocampus|hippocampus]]

<blockquote>''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)''<ref>[[:File:FSM2.PNG]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris states in an e-mail directed at [[Regina Novakova]] that the phrase originated as an example of his [[random-access humor]], apparently as a pun of the word "hippocampus". Following from this, he would famously use the term in a [[HippoOnYourHead|Flipnote animation]] of a person literally getting crushed by a falling hippo, and then use the term several more times to describe the "weight" of the hippo on people's heads. He has lately used this term to describe his struggles with being in jail in a drawing sent to [[Praetor]].

</blockquote>

;[[homo]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A male homosexual

<blockquote>''Yes; the '''Homos''' I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref></blockquote>''

2. ''(noun)'' A non-passing transgender woman, particularly one Chris doesn't deem an authentic woman

<blockquote>''So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male, 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.''

''Anyway, that's my response for now.''

''Damn '''homo'''.''<ref>[[Response to ADF]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(adjective)'' homosexual

<blockquote>''Every one of you who thinks I'm '''homo''' and calls me that—-because I am not; I'm straight! I'm straight!''<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

4. ''(adjective)'' relating to homosexuals

<blockquote>''Again, to reiterate the issue, THE GOD DAMN F***IN' '''Homo''' Ads MUST BE GONE!''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris had a hatred for homosexuals, out of fear that he'll become one himself. Even uttering words like "gay" and "homosexual" would make him uncomfortable. Chris also believed that those that strayed too much from their assigned gender at birth would turn out as being gay, which explains his defensiveness towards his more effeminate traits.</blockquote>

;[[Honest Content|honest]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' NSFW, containing adult content.

<blockquote>''Parental Advisory - VERY '''HONEST''' content.''<ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only has a slightly good understanding of what honesty is. However, Chris doesn't seem to understand when it's most appropriate to be honest. In his mind, to attract mates, he has to be honest all of the time, even if this includes instances of his sexual misadventures. Chris knows that he's not supposed to discuss such topics publically with ordinary people, so he would have to keep such things in secret. Therefore, in his mind, it would be the honest thing to do to discuss such actions.
</blockquote>

;Hurtful Truth Level
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A point at which honest criticism should be stopped so as to avoid hurting a person's feelings, regardless of the usefulness of the advice.

<blockquote>''And another thing, When constantly exceeding that '''Hurtful Truth Level''' to me, it feels like to me you're, and you may as well have, told me, "I Hate You! I Hate You!", and forget about me.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Said in an email to Jackie after she had pointed out several glaring flaws in Chris's lifestyle and personality. Rather than take her criticism to heart and improve himself, he got angry and defensive, wishing that she would show sympathy for him instead.
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== I ==
|-
|

;I can feel the cosmos
[[File:I can feel the cosmos.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Statement of achievement and oneness with the universe.

<blockquote>''I promise, uh, three da—three pages a day, drawn or colored, but, also with the, uh, website, and God/Jesus's support, I feel like... we will be seeing many new—many new thing. The website will be better. '''I can feel the cosmos!''' Peace.''<ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Inspired by a line from the game Katamari Damacy, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmWxNFq6_3U "Oh, I feel it. I feel the cosmos."]
</blockquote>

;I got a fish

<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Claim that one owns a fish.

<blockquote>'''''I got a fish!''' Would ya like to make a wish?''
''I got a fish Would ya like to make a wish?''
''I got a fiiiiiiiiish! Would ya like to make a wish?''<ref>[[I_Got_A_Fish]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a song of the same name, where Chris's [[random-access humor]] shines.</blockquote>

;I HATE ME TOO!!!

<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' A self-destructive phrase used to attempt to gain pity from trolls

<blockquote>''You know what, '''I HATE ME TOO!!!'''''<ref>[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used as part of the title of a gallery found on Chris’s [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Page.
</blockquote>

;[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expressed angrily when you wish to break someone apart to kill them

<blockquote>''Jason Kendrick Howell... you BASTARD! BASTARD! You hacked into everything! You have driven me so beyond the wall, I can't even DESCRIBE it! YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW, BUT... '''I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!''' Goodbye!''<ref>[[Jason Kendrick Howell message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used as a [[death threat]] to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after he has hacked Sonichu.net.</blockquote>

;I'm workin' on it!
<blockquote>1. ''(exclamation)'' An exclamation that you are working on something important.

<blockquote>'''I'm workin' on it!''' I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...<ref>[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used repeatedly by Chris to assure to [[Bob]] that he is doing his best to take down information about 14 Branchland Court from the Internet.</blockquote>

;IBAChandler
<blockquote>1. ''(expression)'' Abbreviation for "I be a chandler," i.e., "I am a person named 'Chandler.'"

<blockquote>''I am so sick of hearing that stupid name that somebody made up back when I had that '''IBAChandler''' account, and I be a Chandler. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my last name.''<ref>[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(proper noun)'' [[YouTube]] username in use by Christian Weston Chandler during his conflict with [[Liquid Chris]], leading trolls to accuse Chris of being an impostor of Liquid named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]].

3. ''(proper noun)'' Name of a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' villain based upon Liquid Chris, ironically named for the real Chris's alias.

<blockquote>'''''I B A Chandler''', And I am here to copycatly sieze claim of you hedgehogs and this city from your absent mayor's domain.''<ref>[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], page 79</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Inspired by [[Bob Chandler]]'s license plate, "I B MR C" ("I be Mister C.").<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;ID
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Identifying.

<blockquote>''"That is the difference between Trans Gender and Vestites; '''ID''' as the other sex, and dressing like it, respectively"''<ref name=Vestites>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris argues semantics]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly derived from ID meaning "Identification". </blockquote>

;[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the extremely high probability that any woman Chris talks to is not [[CWC-isms#boyfriend-free|boyfriend-free]].

<blockquote>''With the '''infinitely high Boyfriend-Factor''', I am not fond of about 99.999999999996% of the total male population, with a margin-of-error of the 4 billionth of a percent (for about 100 men) of whom are okay acquaintences.''<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris is aware the general chances of him finding a sweetheart are extremely slim. Not willing to admit he's not at all attractive to most women, Chris blames it on the fact that most men are "jerks", and that one probably is already dating the woman he's trying to latch onto.</blockquote>
;information overload

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An act of spamming a webpage with pictures.

<blockquote>''I had thought the '''Information Overload''' would somehow Take Down the page; I admit that I was mistaken.<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>''</blockquote>

Origin: When Chris saw all of the explicit pictures on his Encyclopedia Dramatica page, he decided that the best course of action would be to spam the article with his own pictures. His logic was that if he kept doing this faster than the other editors, they'd have to delete the article, as they just wouldn't catch up with him.
</blockquote>

;instinction

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An instance of something being used a certain way.

<blockquote>''Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all '''instinctions''' and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"''<ref name=IRC2January09/></blockquote>

Origin: Once again an instance of Chris trying to sound smart by using a word that sounds foreign to him, made up or otherwise. The end result, however, gives the impression that Chris isn't familiar with the word "instances".

</blockquote>

;intersex

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Relating to any gender identity outside of the gender binary.

<blockquote>''As a Tomgirl, '''Intersex''' of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser, I am in full support for Human Equal Rights for everyone."''<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out... kinda]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used the term "intersex" interchangeably with the term "transgender" on many occasions, and also uses it to refer to Silvana, who actually is intersex. This gives the impression that when he talks about something being "intersex", he means that it isn't entirely "male" or "female".

</blockquote>

;[[Iron Curtain|iron curtain]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The mostly hermetic seal between [[Reality Cartoon]]s, such as the [[Chris and reality|real world]] and the fictional universe containing [[CWCville]], that prevents the [[Dimensional Merge]] from proceeding.

<blockquote>''But we are getting increasing magics, here, with more and more opening portals and growing tears and cracks in the '''iron curtain'''''.<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Chris begs; posts creepy photo of Barb]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Coined by Sir Winston Churchill in 1946 to refer to the limits of Russian intrusion into central Europe after the War. Chris presumably heard it once in [[Manchester High School|history class]] and forgot what it meant, unless he is comparing his fictional world to the [[Chris and censorship|Soviet Union]]. Alternatively it was fed to him by the [[Idea Guys]].

''See Also:'' [[#F|fourth wall]]</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== J ==
|-
|
;Jail of Fail
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A rather unappealing jail to reside in.

<blockquote>''I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type, you may Remember her (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good, alongside Many (Good) Angels, Spirits, and OP allies in and around this '''Jail of Fail'''. We presently have a genuine Turkish Prayer Rug and a deck of Playing Cards from the Commisary, along with very much appreciated Sports Bra, Socks with no holes, Earplugs, and a few other goodies.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Said in a letter to the long-time orbiter and enabler, [[Kenneth Engelhardt]].

</blockquote>

;janekop
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A female [[CWC-isms#jerkop|jerkop]].

<blockquote>''YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. SO SAYS THIS '''JANEKOP'''.''<ref>[[Feelings of the election results]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whereas the term "jerkop" is a portmanteau of the CWC-ism "jerk" and the word "cop", janekop is a portmanteau of the words "jane" and "cop". The word "jane" is a slang word for "woman". <ref>https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jane</ref>
</blockquote>
;[[JERKS|jerk]]
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. Any male other than Chris and his dad in general, particularly those that Chris dislikes, especially one that gets in the way of his LoveQuest.

<blockquote>''On the flip side, I feel discomfort around men, because they can be such mean and cruel '''jerks'''.''<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The term "jerk" is generally defined as "A person with unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior, typically mean, self-centered or disagreeable".<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/jerk#Etymology_1</ref> As stated in the quote above, Chris believes that all men to be cruel, selfish, and overall unlikeable. Therefore, he views almost all men as jerks.
</blockquote>
;[[Jerkop|jerkop]]
<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. An official of the law.

<blockquote>''I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid '''Jerkops'''.''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Since Chris views most officers of the law as jerks, due to how often they'd thwart his LoveQuest, the term is a portmanteau of "jerk" and "cop". Possibly a pun on the word "jerkoff", which is defined as being "a contemptible man".<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/jerk--off</ref></blockquote>

;[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAAAAY]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|Chris preparing for hanky-panky with Julie, using a blow-up doll no less]]
<blockquote>''(interjection)'' 1. An expression used by Chris to indicate how much he'd love having sex for the first time with [[Julie]]

<blockquote>"Oh, Julie...'''JULAAAAAY''', JULAAAAAAAAAAY!!!"<ref>[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris first shouted this infamous CWC-ism in the video [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]. He originally intended to share this video privately with [[Julie]], (unaware that 'she' was actually a 13-year-old male troll), to show what their first date would amount to, despite this breaking his Three Date Rule. Seeing how Chris was somewhat of a porn junkie,<ref>[[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref> Chris must have picked up that during sexual intercourse, one of the people may shout the name of the other person in order to "spice up" the orgy. When the video got leaked soon after, the term started to be used by trolls humorously, to the point where [[weens]] started using the phrase in excess, making the CWC-ism lose its luster.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;jumping the shark
<blockquote>''(verb)'' 1. To start over from scratch

<blockquote>"I am moving out of this Twitter into creating a new one I created, @CPU_CWCSonichu. New and renewed followers will all be screened by my ally, as to keep out the Haters and Harassers. Starting up new and fresh. '''Jumping The Shark''' from old to new"<ref>[[Misc texts#CPU_CWCSonichu]]</ref>

</blockquote>

Origin: The term "jumping the shark" humorously refers to the point where something once popular which has begun to lose its viewer base pulls an extreme stunt in hopes of garnering attention. The term comes from an episode of the television show ''Happy Days'', where Fonzie literally jumped over a shark while water skiing. Ironically enough, despite Chris's misuse of the phrase, many people could easily say that the comic of Sonichu and Chris as a person have "jumped the shark" several times, especially with [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcons]] and- of course- Chris's change into a [[Transgender|transwoman]].

</blockquote>

;Junkeon

<blockquote>''(noun)'' 1. A selfish, arrogant, and ignorant jerk that was raised by another selfish, arrogant, and ignorant jerk.

<blockquote>"But, yeah, you have these kinds of people raising kids of their own? Are they seriously fit to have and raise children of their own?! I feel even more sorry for those children, because that brings in not only a bunch of f*** up bullies and potential worse than arrogant narcissists, but essentially a bunch of '''Junkeons''' who will have a Very Limited vocabulary and mentality. WILL they actually mean what they say, or will they be constantly, meaninglessly quoting memes and tv shows? I feel it is clear.<ref>[[April 2026 social media posts#Rant against Kiwi Farms]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A misspelling of "[[Transformers|Junkion]]", which Chris uses to chastise his haters in a Twitter post.

</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== K ==
|-
|
;kawaii
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' cute or adorable.

<blockquote>''Also, I have thought up something '''kawaii''' we can talk about; Makeup and Fashion ideas.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 28]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''That look really suits you; you look so '''kawaii''' and cool.😊''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1209184205776797697</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The Japanese word for cute, once popular in the English-speaking anime/manga and fashion subcultures. Chris has used this word in almost all cases where he describes anything he thinks is cute and cuddly, more so in recent times, where the use of this word is no longer taken seriously, and seen as more of a joke to poke fun at [[Joshua Wise|weeaboos]].</blockquote>

;[[Kick the Autistic]]
[[File:CWC gets kicked.jpg|thumb|A self-administered kick]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' America's favorite game

<blockquote>''I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CRYSTAL. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, '''"KICK THE AUTISTIC!"''' *sigh*''<ref>[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Any action which involves doing something to Chris that he doesn't like

<blockquote>''And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of '''"KICK THE AUTISTIC"''', then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.''<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#21 January]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(noun)'' Any form of discrimination towards Chris for being [[autism|autistic]].

<blockquote>''And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of "'''Kick the Autistic'''". I'm gonna need all the luck I can get. *Game Over*''<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris had this paranoid idea that the whole world is going against him and his goals, solely due to his autism. In this sense, the fact that so many people supposedly wanted to thwart his goals made him feel like he was being "kicked" around. </blockquote>

;Kra-Kow!

<blockquote>
1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase indicating that Chris roasted someone.

<blockquote>''What? I’m just telling the truth. I hear and see WORSE shit from you Haters. At this point, I’d rather look back in that memory than PTSD over y’all’s Hate-Filled content. '''Kra-Kow!'''''<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1231269768310722560</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Possibly [https://www.pinterest.com/pin/318700111138943542/ a comic strip] from Calvin and Hobbes. Most likely inspired by the sound lightning makes.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== L ==
|-
|

;Laughs Under Lucricities
[[File:LULZ.jpg|thumb|"[[C-Log 03182026|For the LULZ!]]"]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(backronym)'' backronym for "LULZ"

<blockquote>''Although, F.Y.I., "LULZ" is short for "'''Laughs Under Lucricities'''"''<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Any form of humor made at Chris's expense

<blockquote>''... your bully of a boyfriend is the Original Author of the "Chris-chan" page that was put up there for the "LULZ", "'''Laughs Under Lucricities'''". Which I don't have to tell you is not only mean and cruel, the page is HORRIBLE''<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#August]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: It's likely that Chris first heard of lulz on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]-<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008#August]]</ref> the slogan of which is "in lulz we trust"- and thus forever associated the term with trolling. Originally he would simply say "LULZ" ''ought'' to stand for "Laughs Under Lucricities," but he soon began implying that it already does.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2008|Email]] from Chris to Robert Simmons V on 12 August 2008</ref> Lucricities is seemingly a combination of "lucrid" (another non-word with apparent negative connotations that Chris has used<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 48]]</ref>) and "ludicrous" but falls short of being a portmanteau and is more like the result of a head-on collision of the English language.

</blockquote>

;lesbian soul
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' What Chris believes to be his true [[Chris and sexuality|sexuality]].

<blockquote>''I am an all-around, good natured, high-functioning autistic, Female '''Lesbian Soul''', and Transwoman, artist, gamer and creative type.''<ref>https://www.facebook.com/pg/cwcville/about/</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris declared himself transgender, he continued to be attracted to exclusively to biological females regardless of their own sexual orientation.<ref>[[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's]]</ref> Thus, Chris became a lesbian. As a way to assert to detractors that he was a lesbian, Chris cited himself as having a "lesbian soul" despite previously living as a straight man for thirty years.

 </blockquote>
;level-up king
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Master of [[card games]].

<blockquote>''There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the '''level up king'''!"''<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Follow-up]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Before his permanent ban from the [[GAMe PLACe]], Chris would play games of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh with some of the other customers. Despite his sick obsession with both games, Chris never developed any type of strategy to compete with other players, making it very difficult to succeed at the game, even when he played against small children. Eventually, when the shop was just down to six people, which included Chris, the manager, [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]], and [[Lucas]], Chris did win a match against a relatively new player, and excitedly jumped up and down at this accomplishment like a child. Along with this, he shouted the phrase "I AM THE LEVEL-UP KING!"</blockquote>

;like, you know
<blockquote>1. ''(discourse particle)'' Space filler during sentence.

<blockquote>''I don't want too much conflict to happen, '''like, you know'''. You wouldn't want too much conflict to happen, like, you know. I mean-like, you know, between you and him any further. Yeah.''<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's speech consists mostly of uh's, um's, and other vocalized pauses.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;live from home once again
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' An introduction stating that one is recording themselves from their home.

<blockquote> ''Hello everybody this is Christine Chandler coming to you '''live from home once again''' and we're going to talk about the recent and more obvious topic, of "The Dimensional merge". Yes! This dimension! Right here! 1218. Is going to be merged with our sister dimension "C197" where all of our s- where most of our superheroes, super-villains, OCs, and what have you, and other characters, consisted, have been existing and co-existing. Yep!''<ref>[[Dimensional Merge Announcements]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This phrase became Chris's typical means of starting his videos since late 2015, replacing the famous Captain's Log. Although it is sometimes used appropriately (i.e. livestreams), Chris uses the phrase even in prerecorded videos that are not, in fact, live.</blockquote>

;[[Love Quest]]
<blockquote>1.''(noun)'' Chris's former on-going search for a sweetheart.

<blockquote>''As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring '''LOVE QUEST'''!''<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: Since attending [[PVCC]], Chris has embarked on a 15-year long quest to find his true love. Chris constantly failing to achieve this goal was what gave this CWC-ism its name.</blockquote>

;lovehog
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A lover in a relationship between two [[CWC-isms#E|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]].

<blockquote>''Also, I have finished the drawing for you, and I have shown off the Original '''LoveHog''' Couple's Wedding Rings, and their three children: Cerah Rosey, Robbie Sonee and (Shiney Rosey) Christine Rosey.''<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 4]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehog".</blockquote>

;lucricities
<blockquote>1. ''(pl. noun)'' lurid acts or motivations

Origin: Chris completely made this word up, presumably based on "lucrid," which may in turn be based on the actual word "lurid." According to Chris, the word "lulz" can mean either "Laughs at my expense" or "Laughs under lucricities," so presumably the two contexts are equivalent.
</blockquote>

;lucrid
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' obscene, profane, wicked
<blockquote>''And promoting the hatred, and...drawing such loose—such '''lucrid''' mockeries is not gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way...''<ref name=csm>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. Possibly a corruption of "lurid," given the context. Alternatively, it might be a corruption of "ludicrous." Chris has used this word to describe the homoerotic/dickgirl art on the ED page, as well as the fan comic in which he was depicted as a man-baby. Ironically, even before Chris used this word
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== M ==
|-
|

;majorly

<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' very, really

<blockquote>''Well, at the mall today, my heart had a extremly fast recovery, then it became '''Majorly''' Shattered again.''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005|CWC's Diary: 29 March]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''That Cake Cost Me $11!!! UGH! What a '''majorly''' royal waste.''<ref>[[Cakefarts#Later thoughts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A stilted word used likely because has more syllables (thus making it sound smarter to Chris) than the regular ones it replaces.</blockquote>

;make one's own peeps n' poops

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to urinate and deficate at the same time

<blockquote>''Uh, actually, uh, actually Crystal is uh, doing, is uh, doing her preschool homework, and uh, Reg-, and Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' babychild! '''Made his lil' peeps n' poops'''! And he went, and he went weewee all over the bathroom.''<ref>[[PlayingHouse]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from a clip of Family Guy, where Herber the Pervert is letting his dog out to "make his pees n' poops". <ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtlwEfZEmrg</ref></blockquote>

;Mama
[[File:Christine and pikachu.jpg|right|thumb|Mama Christine with a [[Sonee]].]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' What Chris refers to himself as when roleplaying as one of his [[OCs]].

<blockquote>''I am going to some shopping and donating amongst the artists affected by the COVID virus of this Dimension, on behalf of '''Mama''', Chris Chan Sonichu. Thank you, again, to the individual who bought the book set recently. Still waiting for the set of #TSSSF cards to sign and offer.''<ref>https://mobile.twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1251259373810302977</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes himself to be a parent to his characters. Since he identifies as a woman, he has given himself the alias “Mama”. Chris further shows his lack of self-awareness by not realizing how awkward it is to have anyone, even his own characters (who are presumably teenagers) refer to him as such.</blockquote>

;[[Manajerks|manajerk]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a store manager

<blockquote>'' two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT!''<ref>[[CWC's Diary#2005]] (20 July)</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A portmantau of "manager" and "jerk". </blockquote>

;[[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' akin to to Mary Lee Walsh

<blockquote>''She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, '''Mary Lee Walshing''', Witch Bitch!''<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's ongoing resentment against his old college dean has led him to compare a Wal-Mart manager who banned him from her store to Walsh. He apparently fails to comprehend that the "-ing" suffix is generally associated with verbs.</blockquote>

;mashed potato grenade

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a [[Wikipedia:Stielhandgranate|Stielhandgranate]], a special German hand grenade with a handle.

<blockquote>''I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my '''mashed potato grenade''' could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder.''<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a Facebook post sent to [[Megan Schroeder]] accusing her of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|ban]] from the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game Place]], where he [[Chris and reality|makes paranoid claims]] of what she, [[Mimms]], [[Lucas]], and [[Snyder]] were thinking that day. A corruption of "potato masher grenade", a common English nickname of the Stielhandgranate<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stielhandgranate</ref>.</blockquote>

;[[Mass debating|mass debate]]
[[File:Mass_Debate.jpg|right|thumb|Massive Debating]]
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to pleasure one's self; to masturbate

<blockquote>''I've actually done it '''mass debating''' to myself so many times, even with a hunk of - even with an inflatable plastic woman...''<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This particular euphemism comes from Chris's tendency to refrain from using inappropriate language, as well as his unusual variation of a southern accent combined with a minor speech impediment.</blockquote>

;mental block

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's autism

<blockquote>''And, uh, during my high school years, I was used to being surrounded by… girls… in my circle, and after having to, uh, leave them I felt ever so lonesome. And, after the stress from some of the people—people at PVCC, as well as my '''mental block''' of autism, it became hard from me to approach gir—approach the girls like I used to.''<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris refers to his [[autism]] as a "mental block" because he believes the term refers to a disability. In his case, his supposed disability to socialize with girls. In reality, a mental block is the inability to remember a specific thing at a given moment. <ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_block</ref></blockquote>

;Meta

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' being able to break through the fourth wall.

<blockquote>''Also, there is no problem with breaking your own fourth wall with us from your dimension, here. Go '''Meta'''. We are certainly Meta with and for you all as well.''<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#Homelander and C-197]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: From the Greek prefix meaning "after" or "beyond". Chris views all cartoons as being on a dimension higher than our own. According to him, being able to break through the iron curtain entails obtaining a higher mode of consciousness.
</blockquote>

;mislabel

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' to put a label on Chris or any of his creations in a way he doesn't like, regardless of truth
2. ''(noun)'' a label of such slanderous nature; see also "misunderstanding"
<blockquote>''I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE '''Mislabeling''' than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again? ''<ref>[[Common Questions#1_February_2010]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Just about everywhere. He appears to use this term as often as the word "slanderous". Curiously, the redundancy "ill-mislabeling" (as if there were any other kind) has appeared once.<ref>[[CWC Blog#28_December_2009]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;misspeak

<blockquote>1.''(verb)'' to lie

<blockquote>''Sometimes, I have '''misspoke'''. But you are more important to me than ANYTHING. Believe me! I swear. Hand to God. And on my Bible. I'd have to go look for it.''<ref>[[ToJackie]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on [[Lies|his bullshit]], Chris prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this ploy.

</blockquote>

;misunderstanding

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a deliberate view that contradicts Chris; see also "mislabel"
<blockquote>''*AND WE WILL NOT TAKE THE '''MISUNDERSTANDINGS''', THE MISLABELS, AND ALL THE LIKE SITTING DOWN!!!''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|1=Issue_9/Page_39|2=Issue 9 Page 39}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Misappropration. Note that it is not, as in reality,<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misunderstanding Merriam-Webster Dictionary, "misunderstanding"]</ref> a mistaken notion (alternatively a dispute) based on faulty information, but a malicious action worthy of [[tard rage]]. Apparently a slanderous troll has to actively "misunderstand" Chris. Also, Chris has used the related word "misunderstood" (participle adjective) as an insult, not realizing that if the troll misunderstood (transitive verb) him, ''Chris'' would be the one that was misunderstood (participle adjective).<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Rosechu_the_transwoman|Mailbag 39]]</ref>
</blockquote>

;modnar
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' random

<blockquote>''I may be '''modnar''', but I try not to be offensive, and if I do, then I am sorry. I can not please Everyone.''<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: "Random", spelt backwards.</blockquote>

;[[Monthly tugboat|monthly tugboat]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's Social Security Disability Service

<blockquote>"I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a '''monthly tugboat.'''"<ref>[[Monthly tugboat#References by Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris apparently coined the term "Monthly Tugboat" due to a comparison he makes between gaining money through his SSDS vs. winning the lottery. In his mind, winning the lottery is like riding a "Luxury ship that can easily sink", while gaining money from the government is the same as getting cargo from a ship pulled by a tugboat. <ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12]]</ref></blockquote>

;morrow

<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' Synonym for moral.

<blockquote>''The '''Morrow''' remains: Look up to whoever and whatever you like as your childhood hero like no one else is watching you; remain proud with your choice and preference. 💜⚡️''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Chris supports playing with whatever toys you want]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Unknown, possibly a corruption of the word moral. Used exclusively by Magi-Chan during Chris month-long twitter roleplay in August and September of 2019.
</blockquote>

;Mother Nature errand
<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' The bodily urge to either [[Piss|urinate]] or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|defecate]].

<blockquote>''All right, well, ladies, it’s been fun, but I gotta split and take care of ah... y’know, a '''Mother Nature errand'''.''<ref>[[Sonichu Home Club]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A peculiar take on the idiom "call of nature".
</blockquote>

;[[Muscle bra|muscle bra]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A sports bra used for covering a man's bare chest.

<blockquote>''And you know what, I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a '''muscle bra'''. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.''<ref>[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Contributing to his previous fear of the homos, Chris also had a fear of seeing the bare chests of other men out of fear that it'll make him gay. He therefore suggested that men cover their chests under penalty of the law. Chris most likely blended the terms "muscle shirt" and "sports bra".</blockquote>

;my two bolts and a heart

<blockquote>1. ''(idiom)'' Chris's opinion or takeaway on something.

<blockquote>''Okay. I get serious creep and dark vibrations from all of this. I mean, you may do as you will if it feels right with you. Just '''my two bolts and a heart'''.''<ref>[[April_2021_social_media_posts#Dark_vibrations]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's version of the idiomatic expression "my two cents", referencing his emoji signature "⚡️💙⚡️". Chris has also used a similar phrase before while roleplaying as Sonichu, shortening it to just "my two bolts."<ref>[[Sonichu reads and critiques a Fanfic by The Crimson Libertarian]]</ref></blockquote>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== N ==
|-
|

;[[naïve]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' dumb, lacking intelligence.

<blockquote>''You are such a cowardly, '''naïve''', retarded, individual.''<ref>[[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers]]</ref ></blockquote>

Origin: Chris only seems to understand the most simplified definition of the word. In general terms, the word "naïve" is defined as "showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment."<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/naive</ref> However, in Chris's mind, the word is used to "question one's intelligence". Despite his distaste for the use of the word on him, this turns out to be a commonly used insult by Chris.</blockquote>

[[File:FRENCH-NAVY-CameraObscura.jpg|thumb|Chris travels to France]]
;navy
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' semen.

<blockquote>''You know that, uh—first off, uh, the one... with the '''navy''' being drunk. Yeah. Som—yeah. A b—a—i—a—it's a good idea somet—uhhh... it's a... it's a good idea. But, uh, you know, you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but, uh... I recycle my own semen''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Play on words, i.e, a navy is a collection of seamen/semen.

''See also: [[CWC-isms#C|Comeuppance]]''
</blockquote>

;nearly same
<blockquote>1. ''(Adjective)'' Similar.

<blockquote>''And so I killed about- killed about twenty miles round trip for gas to go find her house. But it turns out that was a troll posing as that girl. [sighs] THE VOICES SOUNDED '''NEARLY SAME'''.''<ref>[[For Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;negligent

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[negligee]]

<blockquote>So, I went onto Adam & Eve's website, and ordered three garments, and a transparent robe. One of the '''negligent''' is about exactly on what I had drawn onto myself.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Sexy negligee]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An obvious mispelling of "negligee", a form of lingerie.

</blockquote>

;neurotypically hindered
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Lacking the proper mindset or intelligence to understand Chris's world building, just by being normal.

<blockquote>''Go ahead; that Is what happened that day, and they did not mind it much. To mock us makes you all Soo '''Neurotypically Hindered'''.''<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1203938198424035329</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes that the term "neurotypical" refers to having average brain function, rather than lacking any sort of mental condition.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1207129697752141824</ref> He believes that if one only possesses average intelligence, it makes it impossible for them to fully accept his fantasy world, thus claiming it as a "hindrance".

</blockquote>

;neutral
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' platonic.

<blockquote>''I apologize, but I meant the term '''neutrally''', and I never meant anything from that.''<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And One More thing, Darling!... Talluah Bankhead would be Insulted with your response to the term's '''neutral''' usage. Hmpf!'<ref>[[LadyOfTheCosmo#Twitter]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris believes words like "darling" and "dear", are gender neutral terms. Because of this, he assumes that if he claims that he used it in a "neutral" way, people will know he's not using the term in a romantic tone.

</blockquote>
<blockquote>2. ''(adjective)'' politically centrist or nonpartisan.

<blockquote>''He is a communist! And we do not like communists within this country! We are Republican, Democrat or ''' neutral'''... And I am '''neutral''', so I can go either way, but I do not exactly care much for communism!'<ref>[[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Niggo|niggo]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An African-American person.

<blockquote>''Chris: [sighs, raises his voice] BILLY MAYS IS THE NEW MAYER OF CWCVILLE!</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Max: Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail!" CWCville Jail.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Max: "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: Where he will be raped by a bunch of '''niggos'''.''<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A bastardization of the racial slur "nigger". This minced oath was used only once after [[BlueSpike]] persuaded Chris to say: "''BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville, and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers''". Chris decided to repeat this phrase, but he also thought he could "outsmart" BlueSpike by replacing "niggers" with "niggos" in order to avoid saying the offending word directly. Ironically, a whole year after the incident, Chris referred to [[Surfshack Tito]] as a "nigger" [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|several]] [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|times]], despite not even knowing what he looks like.</blockquote>

;No fucking shit / N.F.S.
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' obviously

<blockquote>''[[The WCT]]: Don't let [[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]] get close to you ever.''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: '''No fucking shit'''.''<ref name=wctdms>[[WCT DMs]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''The WCT: The Sockness Saga will be something to watch when Geno gets there. ''</blockquote>
<blockquote>''Chris: '''N.F.S.'''.''<ref name=wctdms></ref></blockquote>

Origin: Another instance of Chris attempting to add unnecessary emphasis onto his writing.</blockquote>

;[[Nombie-zazis|nombie-zazis]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' zombie nazis

<blockquote>''Anyway, as for the medical study, and this will require your aid, Magi-Chan. In June of 2015, the scientists have found the gene-like molecule which makes a person turn...ugh..'''nombie-zazis'''.''<ref>[[:File:Son10revp3.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Replacement for homosexuals and homosexuality in the revised [[Sonichu 10]].</blockquote>

;not-troll
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a victim of trolling.

<blockquote>''Consider who does more harassing, which do you block? <ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-278#post-2549629]]</ref>
<blockquote>
*Every Foul-Mouth Troll
*The '''Not-Troll''' they follow</blockquote>''</blockquote>

Origin: In Chris's mind, only two types of people exist on [[the Internet]], those who are trolls, and those who are victims of trolling. Because the person being trolled is supposedly '''not''' a troll, they are a "not-troll". Chris eventually deleted the aforementioned post, and reposted it, replacing "not-troll" with "victim" to clarify what he was referring to in the first place.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-279</ref></blockquote>

;[[Noviophobia|noviophobia]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the fear that someone you want to date is already dating someone else.

<blockquote>''His one fault, that has restricted him from finding the Ms. Right, he had a major case of '''Noviophobia''', where he is afraid to even approach most ladies, because he thought that they were all already paired up with “A Jerk.”''<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Because Chris was so frustrated with so many [[CWC-isms#J|jerks]] stealing his potential mates, Chris decided that his envy and hatred of men was a real phobia. Thus, overconfident in his ability to speak [[Spanish]], formed the word "noviophobia" by using the Spanish word ''novio'', meaning "boyfriend", and the English suffix, -phobia, meaning fear . </blockquote>
</blockquote>

|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== O ==
|-
|
;[[OC]]
<blockquote>1. ''(abbreviation, noun)'' Original Creator. A god or deity, including [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|Chris himself]].

<blockquote>''I recall that there was a Mythos about me online: myself, Chris Chan, I; I was an '''OC''' in my own stories; was I Real in this “Reality” that is Dimension 1218? And then I was confirmed in late 2007 with that blurry photograph of me in a moment of great shock and stress.''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(abbreviation, noun)'' Original Creation. A resident of a [[Reality Cartoon|cartoon dimension]]

<blockquote>''I am pleased to announce from this collab piece alone, we have ten Sonichu/Rosechu '''OCs''' confirmed for the OC Expansion Packs of our #TSSSF set of cards, and then some, as I’m also delegating with my other friends as well. This is going to be a massive and lovely OC party!''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Short for ''original character'', a common term used by fanfiction authors for characters invented by themselves and used in their stories yet not present in the source material. Chris believes that fictional characters [[Chris and reality|really]] exist in other [[dimensions]], and under the [[Idea Guys]]' influence was convinced they are deserving of worship. Beginning with the Console Patron Units from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'', he has since generalised this idea on his own.</blockquote>

;OH! MY AXELS! (or OW! MY AXELS!)
[[File:Axels2.jpg|thumb|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expression of pain in one's axles (the central shafts of rotating wheels or gears in a machine).

<blockquote>'''''OOOHHHHHH!!!! MY AXELS!!!!!'''''<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Written for [[Ghostbusters|Ghost Buggy]]'s cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], based upon the character's tendency to complain about its aching mechanical components.</blockquote>

;OH, MY CHRIS CHAN!
[[File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg|thumb|150px|right]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Exclamation uttered by Chris during his phases of holding a [[messiah complex]] and [[role-play]]ing as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].

<blockquote>''Why the Hell would you read that personal shit about [[Chris|Mama]] with [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Chris fucks himself|the penis thing]]? '''[[CPU Blue Heart|Oh, My Chris Chan]]!'''''<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Typed as a comment for the [[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]] episode involving an embarrassing email.</blockquote>

;old-fashioned<blockquote>
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Holding a belief that may be considered politically incorrect.

<blockquote>''But still, call me '''old-fashioned''' but, I'd rather be- I would not- I'd uh- I'd definitely wouldn't uh... NOT BLACK. Not black.''<ref>[[Mumble_4]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''My father is '''OLD FASHIONED'''; he NEVER gives thought to homos, and he HATES them too.''<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to regard most traditional beliefs and rituals to be offensive to the general public.

2. ''(adjective)'' Dating back to the 1980s.

<blockquote>''Ah, you can tell this is an '''old-fashioned''' Lego set on account of this—the old-fashioned "LegoLand" on the corner.''<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to believe anything that's been made more than 5 years ago is as old as dirt.

3. ''(adjective)'' Preferring real women over waifus.
<blockquote>''Nothing against waifus and the people who have them, but I Never Really understood the appeal and concept of making out a character from a show who is Dimensions Away from your own league to be any sort of a significant other to you. I’m more '''old-fashioned''' towards real women.''<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Opinion on waifus]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Unknown. However, Chris seemed to use this word like this because he's aware it isn't considered customary to be sexually attached to fictional characters over real people.

</blockquote>

;ounce of vagina

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Essentially Chris's way of saying "I'll at least lose my virginity at some point".

<blockquote>''And, as for you, Jason Kendrick Howell… as sure as I am to get at least one '''ounce of vagina''', I have your number, and you're going down!''<ref name=AttentionAll/></blockquote>

Origin: Obviously confused when it comes to both euphemisms and basic units of measure, Chris has stated that he is sure to get "at least one ounce of vagina" within his lifetime.<ref name=AttentionAll/> In the years since, he's gotten at least [[Mia Hamm|two]] [[Barbara Chandler|ounces]].
</blockquote>
;outercourse
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' the act of stimulating someone else's genitals.

<blockquote>''I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of '''outtercourse''''' [sic]'' (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you.''<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The word "outercourse" is actually another way to refer to dry humping.<ref>http://www.dictionary.com/browse/outercourse</ref> In Chris's mind however, outercourse simply refers to sex which involves touching another's genitals, because the action happen outside of the body.</blockquote>

;overinexperienced
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Being overly inexperienced.

<blockquote>''My Body is sexually overinexperienced, and Starved.''<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: It apparently didn't occur to Chris that sexual inexperience isn't the least bit comparative, at least not in the context where he intended to use this word.
</blockquote>

;overpowered (or OP)
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' A disproportionate amount of strength, which is worn as a badge of honor.

<blockquote>''If I was a neuro-typical mind, as opposed to '''overpowered''' psychic, I’d have gotten dizzy. ''<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A term normally meant to refer to imbalance in game mechanics. Chris adopted the term at some point during or after the [[Idea Guys]] saga as a way to brag about his nonexistent psychic abilities and ludicrously powerful fictional characters.</blockquote>

{{clear}}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== P ==
|-
|

;parkay
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an epic style of running

<blockquote>''Hello there, fans! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown mall, where for the Sonichu franchise and city of CWCville, and everything like that, I'm gonna do a '''parkay''' from this point all the way down to the gara--parking garage where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held.''<ref>[[Sonichu's Edge]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], Chris calls his style of running "parkay". Chris confused his running as a form of parkour, an acrobatic sport typically used in the military as a means of practicing the navigation of a complex environment without the use of equipment. <ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour</ref>. Given Chris's [[speech impediment]], the word "parkour" somehow came out as "parkay".
</blockquote>

;[[Parody|parody]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Any work that "borrows" characters, plots, or styles from other pieces of fiction, whether infringing International [[Chris and copyright|Copyright]] Law or otherwise.

<blockquote>''Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise '''parodic'''.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:Issue_8_Cover.jpg</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's understanding of what constitutes as a parody most likely comes from his interest in shows like [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]], the former of which use copyrighted characters to make jokes around them, and the latter of which parodied various clichés found in anime. In his mind, because those shows can get away with using such characters and scenes, that gives him an excuse to do the same thing in his comics as long as he states it's being done as a "parody". Ironically, Whenever Chris spoted an actual parody, he thought that the characters from the original work were being defaced.<ref>[[Parody#Chris does not understand the concept of parody]]</ref></blockquote>

;peanut
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Someone who disregards you, or otherwise does not accept you for who you are.

<blockquote>''So you enjoy it, just do it—don't worry about other people's opi—pinions. Because, uh, compared to the other schools, those people who disregard you are just total '''peanuts'''. And I'm not talkin' Charlie Brown; I'm talkin' 'bout the little nuts after the shells. The real peanut gallery. That would be peanuts, wouldn't it?''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: Apparently derived from "{{w|peanut gallery}}," a term used to describe the hecklers in an vaudeville audience who would throw peanuts at a performer. Chris's own spin on this concept is to dismiss such hecklers as being insignificant like literal peanuts.
</blockquote>

;[[Pedofork|pedofork]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A pedophile.

<blockquote>''I am not a '''pedofork''', you DORKS!!!''<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Created as a half-assed attempt to make "pedophile" rhyme with dork. Coined in Chris's [[Madman Rising]] video, in response to the trolls who were comparing him to [[wikipedia:Herbert_(Family_Guy)| Herbert the Pervert]] from ''Family Guy''.</blockquote>

;Pfalm
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The act of placing your palm over someone's face or the camera, as if it's the viewer's face.

<blockquote>''Be geek, be proud, pfaaaaaalm! Emgo; silly! Silly, silly person. Have a good day, be safe, be good.''<ref>[[CLog 10172017 - Medallion Making]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, it comes from the phrase "palm in your face" which is a phrase [[Emgo316]] uses, combining the words "palm" and "face".<ref>[[Random Thoughts (will be updated from time to time)]]</ref> Even though the CWC-ism was coined by Chris in 2017,<ref>[[Son-Chu Review]]</ref> it was not actively used until 2024.
</blockquote>

;[[Pickle|pickle]]
[[File:Pickle Rick.jpg|right|thumb|Chris bought this back in 2018. The brine-soaked irony!]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A penis, particularly one of [[JERKS|any man that isn't Chris]].

<blockquote>''Do me a favor, draw a VAGINA on my Rosechu, Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' '''PICKLE'''!!!!''<ref>[[:File:Chrisreply3.PNG]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The word "pickle" is one of the few hundred slang words for the word "penis".<ref>https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/PenisTesticlesSlang.pdf</ref> It is unknown why Chris prefers to refer to the penises of other men as "pickles", while he calls his own his "duck", but it may have to do with Chris's sexual insecurity and the fact that he legitimately hates actual pickles <ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates pickles]]</ref>, whereas Chris thinks he's special enough to have a cutesy name for his own penis.</blockquote>

;[[Pmurt]]

<blockquote>1. ''(proper noun)'' The 45th and 47th president of the United States: Donald Trump.

<blockquote>''EID '''PMURT''' EID!!!!!!''<ref>[[Eid, Pmurt, Eid]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Donald Trump's last name, but spelled backwards. In Chris's first usage of this CWC-ism, Chris mentioned how "Trump spelled backward is "Pmurt", which sounds like "hurt".<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>
Due to Chris's strong hatred for Trump, he frequently referred to Trump as Pmurt- believing that the spoken word of a backwards name has the power to degrade and weaken a person.<ref>[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref>. In Chris's eyes, if he repeated the word again and again, everyone would turn against Trump and start voting for [[Wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|Hillary]]. Unsurprisingly, Chris had no sway over the election aside from his own vote.
</blockquote>

;point at your snout and oink
<blockquote>1. ''(verb phrase)'' Do something humiliating to yourself.

<blockquote>''You both want me to even Beg, you can go '''point at your own damn snouts and Oink''' like Eric Cartman, and then [[Rape]] yourselves with your own Damn [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]] [[Sex toys|Dual LightSabre]].''<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A reference to a scene in the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "{{w|Scott Tenorman Must Die}}", where Scott makes Eric Cartman embarass himself by singing a song about being a "little piggy". Chris said this to [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Surfshack Tito]] upon failing to receive a cash bounty for destroying his own [[PlayStation 3]].
</blockquote>

;poke
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Marijuana.

<blockquote>''Anyway, eclectic! High on the hedge and high on the hog. You want some of this '''poke''', mon?<ref>[[CWC address to Royal Board]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Intended as a demonstration of what "Soni-Chew the Eclectic Heeedge Hog Poke Mon of London, England" would sound like. A coded reference to Pokémon, and may or may not be a play on the verb "toke".
</blockquote>

;[[Polyamorous marriage|polyamorous]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Polygamous.

<blockquote>''I go'' [sic] ''married to Magi-Chan Sonichu and Cryzel Rosechu last March, and then I married Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo last June. We all share a '''polyamorous''' relationship.''<ref>[[:File:Miss_Cherry_asks_Chris_about_his_marriages.png]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An etymologically malformed neologism from the 1970's for having multiple romantic or sexual relations at once, misapplied by Chris. </blockquote>

;prawns
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Subordinates or helpers, often those wittingly or unwittingly aiding a sinister character.

<blockquote>''You keep sending out your '''prawns''' to do your dirty work, you coward.''<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris almost certainly meant to type "pawns" here. </blockquote>

;[[Prickly-Wicklies|prickly-wicklies]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Punishments given for insulting or harming Chris.

<blockquote>''War gets you '''prickly-wicklies'''... as well as punches.''<ref>[[Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies#Possible origin]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Refer to ''Fuzzy-Wuzzies''.

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#F|fuzzy-wuzzies]]

</blockquote>

;[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb]]
<blockquote>1. ''(backronym)'' The headquarters of several Sonichu villains.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: The name itself is a backronym of the college Chris attended, the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. After experiencing several mishaps throughout his college experience<ref>[[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of English]]</ref><ref>[[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked out of college]]</ref>, the dean giving him the cold hard truth about why his [[Love Quest]] is doomed to fail became the straw that broke the camel's back, and Chris thought it would be a smart idea to deface the college afterward in his comics.</blockquote>

;prowldent
<blockquote>1. ''(???)'' Unknown.

<blockquote>There's no quote to cite this from, just a logo in which Chris gives the name "Prowldent Virginia Community College" to [[PVCC]].<ref>[[:File:ProwldentVCC.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Likely combining connotations of "prowl" and "dent" (either to leave an indentation or [[fangs|teeth]]).
</blockquote>

;Pu Tuhs!
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Shut Up!

<blockquote>''SHE; my Ariel Starter was Female from the start, so '''Pu Tuhs!'''''<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Favorite Pokemon]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: "Shut up" backwards. Because it is backwards, Chris thinks it is more debasing than the normal version of the phrase.
</blockquote>

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Q ==
|-
|

;q-sand
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Short for quarter sandwich (i.e. a quarter of a sandwich).

<blockquote>
''So, mom ignored her and ate the '''q-sand''' in front of her.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Appeared in an [[Jackie E-mails 31|e-mail]] sent to [[Jackie]] dated August 5, 2011. Most likely unnecessarily used as a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|way past cool]] abbreviation.
</blockquote>

;quarters
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An office space; headquarters.

<blockquote>''Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her '''quarters''' and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY.''<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whenever Chris says that he's being brought to someone's office, he always refers to it as their "quarters", as if he was being brought to some kind of evil hideout. This could be to add unnecessary dramatic effect to his stories.

2. ''(noun, pl.)'' coins, no matter their origin or worth.

<blockquote>''Uhh. I want a soda, but it takes only C '''quarters''' and I only have W quarters. Do you have any change?''<ref>[[Sonichu 9 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The first time this word was used like this was in [[Sonichu 9]], where it is revealed that [[CWCville]] issues its currency in the form of "C-quarters" and "W-quarters". According to this issue, 10 C-quarters, make up a single W-quarter, which ultimately defeats the whole concept of the "quarter" coin. Despite being a part of the United States, CWC-ville still issues this strange form of currency, along with US dollars. Because of this, Chris likely decided to refer to his currency as "quarters" so that it could technically count as US currency.</blockquote>

;quite
<blockquote>1. ''(exclamation)'' A fancy replacement of the word "right" or "correct".

<blockquote>''Arthur: Magi-Chan, it's because of his-- you know, he wants to help all of his friends, and with his ability to contact them all simultaenously at the same time, it's an amazing ability to have.</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Chris: '''Quite''', he is the psychic type, after all.''<ref name=CatKnight>[[CatKnight Interview]]''</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adverb)'' to the utmost or most absolute extent or degree; absolutely; completely.

<blockquote> ''Hm. Not enough to, uhh... Well, he knows quite-- he can see '''quite''' a bit far into the future, but although there are details of which you might not be able to see, a point or two.'' <ref name=CatKnight/></blockquote>

<blockquote>''For a hundred dollars? Th-that's, that's '''quite''', that's uh, it'd take more funds for me to, more funds than that for me to be able to acquire the material figures...''<ref name=CatKnight/></blockquote>

Origin: Chris infamously used this word, along with "indeed" ad nauseam in his interview with [[Arthur Spatchcock]], believing that doing so is essentially the same as speaking his language, British if you will.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== R ==
|-
|

;raincoat
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a condom.

<blockquote>''You ARE the woman...we gotta stop by [[Mal-Wart|Wall-Mall-Wart]] on the way for a "'''raincoat'''".''<ref>[[Sonichu 7 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The term "raincoat" is actually an archaic slang term for the word "condom".<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/raincoat</ref> Given that Chris has been raised by two geezers his whole life, and that part of his childhood has consisted of [[Gilligan's Island|old TV shows]], Chris thought that people would understand what he meant when he states that his Mary Sues are having protected sex with a raincoat.</blockquote>

;[[random-access humor]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' non-sequitur.

<blockquote>''Punchy grew up in a dojo, where he perfected his punches. He is also full of '''random-access humor'''. He lost his tail in a brutal fight.''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP5.htm</ref></blockquote>

Origin: According to Chris, his brain is completely random, and it always spews out incoherent garbage. In his mind, this works in the same way a computer processes random-access memory.<ref name=FatherCall/>

</blockquote>

;rapier
[[File:ReldnahcTheRapier .jpg|thumb|Reldnahc the Rapier]]
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun, attributive)'' rapist, sexual assailant.

<blockquote>
''Now! My '''rapier''' friend, I would very much like you to get off me, please.''<ref>[[Sonichu 12]], [[:File:SchuComic12-1P60.jpg|page 60]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris-Chan Sonichu calls [[Reldnahc_Notsew_Naitsirhc#Fictional_biography|Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] his "rapier friend" in [[Sonichu 12|Sonichu #12]] after Reldnahc tackles him to the ground in a suggestive pose and touches his chest, thus (in Chris's hyperbolic mind) "raping" him. As a double double entendre, he could also be using the externally attested definition, as an adjective meaning "witty",<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rapier#Adjective</ref> and metaphorically referring to a kind of thin, sharp-pointed sword. This is incredibly unlikely due to Chris's basic understanding of the English language, and he most likely didn't know "rapist" is the term for one who rapes, not raper or rapier.
</blockquote>

;reality cartoon

<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' The universe.

<blockquote>
''Life is a cartoon; we are all the characters of the larger; the cartoons we make are part of our own universe; we're all a '''reality cartoon'''.''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#"Life is a cartoon"]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Since Chris's life revolves mainly around [[Vidya]] and cartoons, it would make sense to him that the most believable explanation for the universe and everything in it is that it's all a cartoon. Likely related to Chris's known belief that [[Chris and reality#Fictional characters and media|all fiction actually exists in alternate universes]]. Chris's interactions with the [[Idea Guys]] made this idea seem even more plausible to him.
</blockquote>

;[[recycling]]

<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' the act of one ingesting their own semen to preserve their sperm count.

<blockquote> I '''recycle''' my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref> </blockquote>

Origin: Chris, having [[Chris and science|very little knowledge]] of how the male reproductive system works, thinks that men can run out of sperm from masturbating or orgasming too much. Fearing the loss of "potential children", Chris actually thinks that by ingesting the sperm back into his body, his sperm count will stay in balance, thus, he is "recycling" it.

</blockquote>

;[[Redemption Arc]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's alleged period of redemption.

<blockquote> I am in my '''Redemption Arc'''. Please be kind to me, I have repented. All of you should be Soul Searching.<ref>[[:File:HarmonyCon Redemption Arc card.jpg]]</ref> </blockquote>

Origin: Named after the common trope found in fiction, where a villainous character atones for past actions.

</blockquote>

;reeb
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|Glug! Glug! Glug!]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' beer or any other alcoholic beverage of the like.

<blockquote>''Then he glugs his '''reeb''', heh-heh, and then he conks out.''<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, thinking he's so [[Slow-in-the-minds|clever]], decided to censor any mention of the word "beer" in his comics, by spelling the word backward.</blockquote>

;Resident-Evil refrigerator

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The refrigerator in the previous Chandler Household.

<blockquote>''Kitchen very much blocked off all over... with the '''Resident Evil refrigerator''' right there.''<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House II]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris refers to the fridge as the "Resident Evil" kind, because in Japan, the game ''{{w|Resident Evil}}'' is known as ''Biohazard''. Considering the quality of the household, that name may very well fit the description of the fridge in the state it was in before filming the [[Tour of Chris's House II|Second House Tour]].</blockquote>

;[[Respectable Frames]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's aviator glasses.

<blockquote>''Grandmother Glasses? These are Respectable Frames I have picked out from Wal-Mart.''<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris defends the pedo-glasses]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in [[Mailbag 20]] in protest of a troll disrespectfully calling his glasses "grandmother glasses".</blockquote>

;romps in the hay

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' sexual intercourse

<blockquote>''This page, by the way, was drawn before last March, so stuff Has Happened since then, it is all good. Go ahead and Muck It Up in your heads, Trolls; I Am BiSexual, and I Laugh at your Jokes. (Awesome Romps in the hay with him, as well as Cryzel)''<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has used this term since at least 2018.
</blockquote>

;[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The female counterpart of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]].</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: Derived from the appropriately named first Rosechu of CWCville, [[Rosechu]]. The name of the species is a portmanteau of the last name of the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' character, Amy Rose, and "Raichu", the evolved form of a Pikachu.</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== S ==
|-
|

;[[saga]]
<blockquote>1 ''(noun)'' An ongoing event within Chris's life.

<blockquote>''A Sonichu Special: CWC's Love Quest '''Saga'''''</blockquote>

Origin: Chris was actually the first to use the term "saga" as Christorians know it today, using it as such when describing his Love Quest on the cover of [[Sonichu 4]]. It wasn't until the Miyamota Saga when the term was used by Christorians to describe ongoing events in Chris's life as we know it.</blockquote>

;salty
<blockquote>1 ''(adjective)'' showing more maturity or coarseness than is expected, especially knowledge of [[honest]] topics like [[Chris and sex|sex]].

<blockquote>''Ah, but I am not the weak person they think I am; I am much, much '''saltier'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based upon a line from "Bowling Girls", ninth episode of ''[[Excel Saga]]'': "But I'm not the sweet little girl I was a few minutes ago! I'm much, much saltier now!" "Salty" in this context derives from naval lingo, since the most experienced sailors would have greater exposure to both the saltwater seas and worldly experiences.
</blockquote>

;[[Scale of Respect|scale of respect]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Chris's way of measuring his respect for other people.

<blockquote>''I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my '''Scale of Respect''' each by 2 points''<ref>[[Scale of Respect]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris, like most other autistics, tends to view the world based on numerical values due to their lack of understanding of certain abstract concepts such as respect. Because of this, Chris made his very own numerical scale to decide on who should be respected, compared to who shouldn't.</blockquote>

;Scooby-Doo Detective
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Mocking term for amateur or faulty investigative reasoning based on misguided, simplistic or weak evidence.

<blockquote>''Of course, ONLY as far as all of you know, since the less than '''Scooby-Doo detective''' skills and lack of psychic power practice makes the majority, I am capable of thinking and processing faster.''<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#What got Chris into Sonic?]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based on the Scooby-Doo animated series where the main characters, who are amateur teenaged detectives, often solved simple and predictable mysteries. </blockquote>

;seinor
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Misspelling of senior.

<blockquote>''A cool Junior or '''Seinor'''-Year student, and follow their example on asking others out''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An example of how the “i before e rule” escapes Chris.

</blockquote>

;self-epic
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' describing a situation which is epic, and at the same time related to Chris and his various clones.

<blockquote>''And I will square-off in the TRULY '''SELF-EPIC''' Battle between me, and my Dark Half.''<ref>[[An Important Update]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: [[Chris and his Ego|Self-explanatory]].</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;self-masturbation
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' [[Mass debating|masturbation]].

<blockquote>'''''Self-masturbation''' is really arduous and annoying.''<ref name=15min>[[Masturbation discussions]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris decided to add the prefix "self-" to make it clear that he was stroking his own [[duck]], apparently unaware that use of said prefix is redundant (the term masturbation typically implies self-pleasure unless one specifies otherwise).</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;self-sexually active
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' in the habit of [[Mass debating|masturbating]].

<blockquote>''And Another Thing, yes, I will admit I was '''self-sexually active'''; WAS. You all turned me off of Sex LONG Before I even thought of coming out as Trans in ‘14.''<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#On seeing his father's penis]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A modification of "sexually active".</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;ship
[[File:Chillaxingcard.jpg|200px|thumb|An example of a "shipping".]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An act of two or more OCs interacting with or performing any given action towards one another, regardless of any romantic feelings.

<blockquote>''You must take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this '''Ship'''. That card's power activates. At the end of the turn, until the Pony card attached with this '''Ship''' is discarded of removed from the grid, it gains the Keyword Villain.''<ref>[[:File:EpicOnlineBully.jpeg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: An abbreviation of the word "relationship". Chris learned the term from the card game ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]'', a My Little Pony fan game satirizing the popular internet trend of shipping. He used the game as another creative medium to sell items to fans, trolls, weens, and enablers.</blockquote>
</blockquote>

;shitful
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' hurtful; defamitory.

<blockquote>''And this is the last time I will ever say anything in response to your '''shitful''' and hurtful comments and hatred for Hate's Sake!''<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Shitful is a vulgar slang word, synonymous with words like "boat-load" or "truck-load". Chris may have seen the "shit" part of this word and assumed that it was a more profane version of "hateful". Disregarding its actual meaning, the word to Chris is used for situations that seem "shitty" to him.</blockquote>

;[[SLGBTQ]]

<blockquote>1. ''(acronym)'' an extended acronym for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) which includes "straights" and "questioning people".

<blockquote>''Considering your logo there, Texas will be feeling more love from the '''SLGBTQ''' community; give us props and Love, Lone Star State.''<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Hurricane Harvey and SLGBT]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris first used this acronym, he didn't explain what groups the "S" or "Q" were supposed to represent, making plenty of people confused. Eventually, Chris revealed that the "S" represents '''s'''traight and cis-gender people, while "Q" represents "'''q'''ueers" or "'''q'''uestioning people". Chris believes that if he included straight people into LGBT, then those particular people would feel more invited to join into the community. Considering the fact that gay people are minorities, adding the "S" to LGBT only defeats the entire purpose of identifying people as LGBT in the first place.</blockquote>

;[[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' a mentally handicapped person

<blockquote>''And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "'''slow-in-the-minds'''" on it.''<ref name=AWeekWith>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: While the exact origin of the term is unknown, slow-in-the-minds was first used by Chris in a high school assignment.<ref>[[Manchester High Leaks#Help This Unborn Child]]</ref> "Slow-in-the-minds" works as a stand in for the less-socially-acceptable "retard", so it's possible that Chris created this CWC-ism in order to self-censor.

</blockquote>

;slow-minded

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' mentally retarded

<blockquote>''As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look '''slow-minded'''; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest.''<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#February]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''OK, I can definitely name you a few reasons, like there was this one [stutters] …there was this one '''slow-minded''' individual named Tony. He was like as big as-he was as big and strong as an ox. He just kept on making all the moanings and noises and whatnot, and he sometimes even-even-a couple of times he even spat on me, and he even bopped me on the back of the head once or twice during the whole-during the whole time I knew him there.''<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(adjective)'' stupid, but not quite retarded

<blockquote> ''I'll admit I have had some '''slow-minded''' moments. But I am certainly not totally retarded.''<ref>[[Father Call#Crossing the Naïve Line (1:46:21-1:52:36)]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!
[[Image:SNERGEN FLERGEN!.PNG|thumb|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' A phrase one may shout out when asked for attendance.

<blockquote>'''''SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!'''''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic9P6.jpg]]</ref>
''-What?''

''Uh...here!''
</blockquote>

Origin: An obvious example of Chris's [[CWC-isms#R|random-access humor]]. This weird phrase appeared in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], when the cast was asked for their attendance during a [[CWC-isms#D|Dating Education]] class. When [[Wild Sonichu]] was asked for his attendance, he blurted out this phrase as Chris's many attempts to be funny in his comics. Given Chris's childish sense of humor, it would make a whole lot of sense for him to include a character randomly blurt out a nonsensical phrase out of nowhere.</blockquote>

;snooze cruise
<blockquote>1. a long period of slumber

<blockquote> ''Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" '''snooze cruise''', but I was.''<ref name=AWeekWith/></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]'', in the Super Sonic's Story cutscenes, after Sonic gets woken up by Tails: "I was on a snooze cruise, I guess!"

</blockquote>

;somecummpentydifferent
<blockquote>1. ''(Phrase)'' Used to announce a change in subject.

<blockquote>''Anyway and now for somecummpentydifferent stay tuned for '''somecummpentydifferent''' — a bunch of good pushups!''<ref>[[Getting Foam Ed]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(Phrase)'' Used to announce use of [[random-access humor]].

<blockquote>''And now for '''somecummpentydifferent'''. BUUUUNG! And now it's Monty Python's flying elephants. Du tu du tu du tu du. Du tu du tu du tu du. Johan, why is people running away? I don't know, Greeg, why is people running away.''<ref>[[CWCFlyingElephants]]. Note this is the very first thing he says, so there's nothing to be completely different ''from''.</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris is trying to say "And now for something completely different" like John Cleese does on [[Monty Python]]. Suffice to say Cleese's ability to say three multisyllabic words in rapid succession exceeds that of Chris.</blockquote>

;[[Tobacky|somkey]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' The quality of having smoked recreationally, be it tobacco, marijuana, or some other substance.

<blockquote>''Thank our mayor, Mr. Christian Weston Chandler that CWCville is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or '''somkey'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A simple corruption of the word 'Smokey', used by [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] during their report on [[Sonichu 8#Spring Break, 2008!|Spring Break, 2008!]].
</blockquote>

;[[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]
<blockquote>1. (noun) The male counterpart of the Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: Derived from the appropriately named first Sonichu of CWCville, Sonichu. The name of the species is a portmanteau of the name of the titular character of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'', Sonic, and "Pikachu".</blockquote>

;soo
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' Very, Very much.

<blockquote>''Dear Blanca, I am '''soo''' happy that you were revealed as my True, Honest Sweetheart-To-Be''<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Blanca]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In writing, Chris often adds extra o's to the word "so" to prolong the "o" sound and show added emphasis. This has the (unintentional?) effect of mimicking the speech patterns of a Valley Girl or an effeminate homosexual. However, where most people would add two or more o's, (e.g., "I love you sooo much!"), Chris frequently only adds one, resulting in "soo," which makes the word look like it's supposed to be pronounced "sue".

This may originate from pamphlets published by [http://www.channing-bete.com/ Channing Bete], [[Autism|short and uninformative]] self-help pamphlets often handed out at churches, the last page of which often feature a summary headlined by "Soo…" Given his distrust of help from anyone other than [[Rocky]], it is not entirely impossible that Chris has read Channing Bete pamphlets occasionally.

This is one of many recurring jokes in the [[Sonichu Audiobooks]] in which the narrator pronounces words like "soo" as they are literally spelled, instead of how Chris intended them to be read.
</blockquote>

;soul-bonding
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Sexual intercourse as a means of purifying someone.

<blockquote>What had happened was Literally a Divine Mission, commissioned to Christine and I by Emanuel (GOD above Gods), herself, to Heal and Cleanse Barbara's health and soul and being and Clear her of remaining sins and regrets through Coddling, Talking, and Supportive '''Soul Bonding''' to mainly Extend her Life, personally by Divine Intervention.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris has somehow come under the delusion that having sex with his mother would "purify" her, and extend her lifetime, all through the act of bonding each other's souls.

</blockquote>

;soup beds
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Homeless shelter with beds

<blockquote>'' I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have '''soup beds'''. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS!''<ref>[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris tries to distill his "soup hotel" idea into its two components, but he mangles one of them by retaining the "soup" prefix.
</blockquote>

;sourdough region
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The crotch area

<blockquote>''Its weak point is still the '''sourdough region''', but it would take FIVE KICKS to get to it''<ref>[[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In his Sonichu comics, Chris has decided to make the main weakness of the jerkops their crotch. The weakest of the jerkops take only one kick to be taken down, while higher-ranking jerkops like [[Jerkhief]], take five. The reason why Chris refers to this spot as the "sourdough region" is unknown, but most of his other CWC-isms already tend to sound so nonsensical to begin with, it barely even matters.</blockquote>

;spike on one's shoulder
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' refers to the act of holding grievances towards someone.

<blockquote>''There was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he had a '''spike on his shoulder''' against me.''<ref>[[Father Call#The Shit Hits the Fan (33:24-39:17)]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A confusion with the phrase "chip on one's shoulder".</blockquote>

;spot
<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' A small amount.

<blockquote>''the recent 43.98 purchase was actually a ''spot'' of Wheeling and Dealing I did; I actually spent less to make a profit.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 15]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris likes to retardedly incorporate British English into his sentences when he has the chance, possibly to sound more classy than he actually is. The phrase "A spot of X" is a British English idiom referring to a small amount of something.</blockquote>

;sticky dream
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A wet dream

<blockquote>''After falling back asleep Chris had a "'''sticky dream'''."''<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris claims that a "wet dream" actually refers to wetting one's bed as opposed to nocturnal emission.
</blockquote>

;straight path
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The quality of being heterosexual and cisgender

<blockquote>''And, besides, if you stray away from the '''straight path''', it can really jeopardize the entire future of the world and the human race.<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: Before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris had an intense fear of "falling off the straight path". When he states this, he is essentially referring to being on the path to straightness, in the same way a normal person would refer to someone being on the path to success. Chris also had this unrealistic idea that being in contact with gay men would suddenly make him gay too, making him fall off the path. Possibly also an allusion to the phrase "straight and narrow" and/or the Biblical passage Matthew 7:14: "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."</blockquote>

</blockquote>
;[[Sub-Episodes|sub-episode]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The side stories in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comics.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Origin: A result of Chris's use of [[Chris and English#Television jargon|television jargon]] in his comics.</blockquote>

;sumbah
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Minced oath for "son of a bitch."

<blockquote>''Yo, Christian, thanks for saving my sister from that crazy '''sumbah'''''<ref>[[Sonichu Special 4]], page K-4</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Probably based upon "sumbitch."
</blockquote>

;[[Sweetbolt|sweetbolt]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A pet name used by [[CWC-isms#E|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]].

<blockquote>''Ahh..that salad was great! What's wrong '''sweetbolt'''?''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP11.htm</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' A sweetheart.

<blockquote>''I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your '''SweetBolt'''. :)?''<ref>https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP11.htm</ref></blockquote>

Origin: When Chris first worked on his Sonichu comics, he tried to incorporate as many references to electricity as he can to match with the Pikachu part of the titular character. A portmanteau of the CWC-ism "sweetheart" and "bolt".
</blockquote>

;[[Sweetheart|sweetheart]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A potential lover.

<blockquote>''Oh, gee, I'm sorry Bionic, but back then I was na- I was naive on dating and all that, so I just didn't think of it at the time. But if you a '''sweetheart''', Meg has created quite a few foxy characters. If she's cool with it, you could go out with one of them.''<ref>[[Sonichu 6 Official Videobook]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Another cutesy pet name given to candidates of his Love Quest.</blockquote>

;[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An ideal sweetheart beyond the friend zone.

<blockquote>''For days to weeks to months to years, I Felt So Lonesome and Incomplete. But I didn't STOP! In the name of Love, and the fact that there had to be a Boyfriend-Free Girl out there, somewhere, for me to get to know, grow a strong companionship with and make into a '''Sweetheart from the Ground-Up''', so in later years, after the inevitability of my parents leaving me, I WON'T BE ALONE. And I can eventually realize my dream of being a good husband, and father of a pretty girl named Crystal.''<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: As stated, Chris intended to use this weird phrase to indicate that he wants an ideal gal-pal well beyond the friend zone. Chris thought this phrase sounded so clever that he used it constantly.</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== T ==
|-
|

;teenages

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The 13-19 age group; teenage years.

<blockquote>''Ahem... hello, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, and dudes of all '''teenages''', as well as the, uh, gals.''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: In Chris's [[Future Message]], he attempts to talk down to just about every age group. In order to do this, he starts his video off with the quote above. Chris clearly couldn't think of a way to refer to teenagers, so he decided to refer to such people by "teenages". A butchering of "people of all ages".</blockquote>

;teir
[[File:Teir.png|thumb|200|Chris spelling tier wrong.]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Misspelling of tier.

<blockquote>''$1 '''Teir'''''<ref>[[Patreon]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Yet another example of how Chris is unaware of “i before e”. In a June 2019 update, he managed to spell tier wrong throughout multiple descriptions, despite the correctly-spelled word being visible right on the page.</blockquote>

;telekinesis

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Telepathy, i.e. communication through long distances, usually via psychic or supernatural means.

<blockquote>''I’ve been communicating with her through '''telekinesis''', and she sounded very lonesome.''<ref>[[Silvana]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Whereas tele'''kine'''sis means ''moving'' objects from a distance with psychic powers (c.f. ''[[wikipedia:kinetic energy|kinetic]]''), Chris has never used the term properly. [[Magi-Chan|Psychic]] [[Silvana|characters]] in the [[comic]] have both powers of telekinesis and telepathy, but Chris has only used the former to refer to both.
</blockquote>

;Temple

<blockquote>1. [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]].
<blockquote>''Food for Barbara is also appreciated, and Visitors who personally offer genuine Kindness and Good Intentions are all encouraged to visit the '''Temple'''.''<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In [[2019]] Chris designated his house as the "Temple of CWC Sonichu" due to his growing [[Messiah complex]].
</blockquote>

;That was a straw that sold the blade to the executioner

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' That was the final straw.

<blockquote>''And on top of that, literally doxing someone on [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwi]], because someone has a hold over [[Bismuth|Naught]] to the point of him having to feel very insecure about himself. And the topper, in my eyes, one of y'all sent threats to [[Praetor|Anni]]. Fortunately, she completely missed and overlooked that memo in her inbox. '''That was a straw that sold the blade to the executioner'''.''<ref>[[MKR DMs]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used the phrase in listing his grievances against some members of the [[Watchmen]].
</blockquote>

;theoretical ex

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' One of the trolls who posed as a potential love interest for Chris during the classic period of trolling, between 2008 and 2011; a catfish, generally-speaking.

<blockquote>''Yeah, it’s like, you know, even when I try to make a new relationship, uh, especially among the '''theoretical rex-, exes''' I had, I still could not tell which was which…''<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's history with the trolls]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris started calling the trolls who pretended to be his girlfriends during the classic era "theoretical exes" around the time of his date with [[Catherine|Catie]]. When pressed by Cousin Al as to what he meant, he cited that people may not always be who they say they are on the Internet.
</blockquote>

;This Viral Event

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' The worldwide Coronavirus ([[COVID-19]], SARS-CoV-2) outbreak in early [[2020]], which began in [[China]] on New Year's Eve [[2019]] and has since become the most severe pandemic since the Spanish flu of 1918. Regarded by Chris as a trivial excuse to cancel a perfectly good ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention.

<blockquote>''The Bottom Line is that '''This Viral Event''' is actually a better step in our own developments and evolution, as well as a deity-level test to sort out the weak from the moderate and strong of mental and soulful intervals, and nothing else.<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#Chris finally weighs in on the coronavirus pandemic]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris's [[Chris and religion|theodicy]] assigns any misfortune in the world to the Dimensional Merge. As the disease's spread has caused many governments to forbid large gatherings as a sanitary measure, it has become a [[Chris and His Ego|personal inconvenience to Chris]]. He believes that the pandemic will soon be stopped by [[OC|fictional characters]]' efforts,<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#COVID-19 a sign of dimensional merge]]</ref> making it nothing but a transient event.</blockquote>

;[[Tobacky|tobacky]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' tobacco or tobacco products

<blockquote>''If I could, I would take every last ounce of '''tobacky''', put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to the Moon.''<ref name=FutureMessage/></blockquote>

Origin: American English slang, used by Chandlers since 1856,<ref>https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tobacky#English</ref> and for [[random access humor]] since 1928.<ref>[http://www.uwosh.edu/home_pages/faculty_staff/earns/song.html Back in Nagasaki Where the Fellers Chew Tobaccy]</ref> Chris hates the act of smoking cigarettes so much that even uttering the word "tobacco" makes him feel uncomfortable, so Chris uses this as a retarded {{w|minced oath}}.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref></blockquote>

;tom-tom
[[File:Duck Pounding Some Tom-Tom.jpeg|thumb|A duck pounding some tom-tom real hard]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' female genitalia.

<blockquote>''MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR '''TOM-TOM''' TO POUND!!!!!''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from the short Adult Swim music video, ''Pound my Tom-Tom'', which served as the intro to the cartoon, ''Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil''.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1DVoH0Njow</ref> Considering Chris barely understands anything adult, the fact that this was meant to be a bad euphemism, which the character, Lucy, used to avoid directly mentioning her vagina, flew over his head.</blockquote>

;[[Tomgirl Pictures|tomgirl]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A femboy, which is a person who identifies as male though still cross dresses.

<blockquote>''I am '''Tomgirl'''.''<ref>[[:File:I_am_tomgirl.jpg|PSN comment as of 6 April 2011]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: analogous to "tomboy", i.e. a girl who likes boy-stuff.

</blockquote>

;too many crooks

<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' Expression of dissatisfaction with an overabundance of evildoers.

<blockquote>''Well, call it--this was "too many crooks." '''Too many crooks!''' Too many crooks! And that ED page is one of those crooks.''<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Based upon the idiom, "too many cooks spoil the broth." Although that idiom means something, this is just an incomplete sentence.
</blockquote>

;took my idea for a fall

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Refers to ruining Chris's [[Love Quest]] plans.

<blockquote>''I am very mad and upset, because that JERK took my idea for a fall, just like that XXXXX at PVCC did!''<ref>[[CWC%27s Diary#2004]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris used this in his poem [[Saddest Heart in the World]] as well as a 2004 diary entry. Appears to be a mangling of "took me for a fool."</blockquote>

;[[Toxic Trio]]

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A combined name for the Watchmen [[Naught]], [[Kyle]], and [[MKRNightVee]]

<blockquote>''Hey, @everyone. For starters, in light of the recent events @Neko has been through, and the light shedding on the toxic trio, an announcement with care for now:
To all of you in my flock, I highly encourage each of you to begin and continue your own individual self-work in enlightenment. For amongst you all, as the Dimension Merge/Collective Shift draws closer upon the main event with the removal of the veil between our universe halves, each of you has your own inner potential and strength. We have no need for war or quarrel at all with the OCs and individuals of C-197, as I state to all of those individuals in regard to us of 1218.''<ref>[[:File:TheKnights1stLayer-26Jun21 - Chris intro.png]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used by Chris when he joined The WCT's [[Knights of CWC]] Discord server after WCT convinced him to distance himself from the "trio".</blockquote>

;triage

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' ménage à trois; a romantic relationship between three people.

<blockquote>''Magi-Chan Sonichu, Silvana Rosechu & Mewtwo / A Loving '''Triage'''''<ref>[[January 2018 Facebook posts‎‎#Mewtwo and Magi-Chan married]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A corruption or misspelling of "triad", possibly influenced by the ending of "ménage". "[[wikipedia:Triage|Triage]]" is a real word with a completely different meaning and unrelated etymology.
</blockquote>

;trollin' stupid

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Very stupid, in a manner pertaining to trolling.

<blockquote>''Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing raping... '''trollin' stupid''' pickle suited... nigger!''<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris seems to have coined this phrase for his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend"]] lyrics with "trollin'" serving as an intensifier along the lines of "fucking."
</blockquote>

;true and honest

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' something [[Honest content|honest]].

<blockquote>''I like sharing my honest feelings with other people because they're good feelings, most of the time. And more importantly they are '''true and honest''' feelings. SO THERE.''<ref>[[For Chris]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris first used the adjective with reference to his love for [[PandaHalo]], and the adjective was often used by [[Liquid Chris]].
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== U ==
|-
|

;ugly growth

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used by Chris to refer to his own penis negatively.

<blockquote>''"Did I not just tell you I am Seven Inches Long?! It is soo long, that I am literally able to stretch it Under my taint, and tuck it between my own ass cheeks, beyond my ass hole. With help, I can literally even shove the head of the '''Ugly Growth''' Up Mine!"''<ref>[[Colin Chat 2]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;[[Un-clit|un-clit]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A piercing Chris got on his perrinium as an immitation clitoris.

<blockquote>''It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my '''un-clit'''.''<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: During his Tomgirl years, Chris was, and still is, very desperate to gain female body traits such as bigger breasts, wider hips, a fully functioning vagina, etc. In order to get a part of the work done, Chris got a piercing on his taint as a sort of pseudo-clitoris, showing more of Chris's limited knowledge of female anatomy. </blockquote>

;uncouth
[[File:Uncouth Twat.png|thumb|Most uncouth!]]
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' unlikeable, lacking good manners.

<blockquote>''And, by the way, among which, You give the Males a Most Terrible and Horrible Name in your behavior. Most '''Uncouth'''.''<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Trump is most Immature, '''Uncouth''', and Not Valid to be president.''<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I felt it appropriate to change my profile photo back to the filtered one for what happened in France the while back with due respect of the continuing of Trump's most drastic and '''uncouth''' actions in office.''<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''You, sir, are '''Uncouth'''.''<ref>[[April 2017 tweets#Trump, you mocked the mentally-challenged]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''All of you are nothing but immature, borish, '''uncouth''', and damned Neanderthals.''<ref>[[Sonic Boom Protests#Chris Rages On]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Not Sexual Fantasy; Friendships, You '''Uncouth''' Cad. Hmpf!''<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Unleashing his inner Brit]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''And as it Had been My fault on that #NationalGirlfriendTweet that started the whole mess, that was Why I chose whole-heartedly to Harass Me instead of Doopie or Anyone Else who was being harassed with the mis-content from Years Ago from me taken Out Of Context, Mind you, because Harassing Anyone at Anyone else’s Expense is Just Plain Wrong, Bullying, and '''Uncouth'''!''<ref>[[October 2017 tweets]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote> ''And it was ignored by you that Talulah Bankhead coined the term for Tabitha, you '''Uncouth''' Twat.''<ref>[[August_2017_tweets#Tabitha addresses CWC flame war]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I agree it is shameful of these people to have accounts just to haze at me and all others, Soo '''uncouth'''.''<ref>[[NightStar2891 tweets#Twitter spam for Tabitha]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I miss Jessica. You Trolls Scared Her Off by either Hacking or Reporting her Facebook. You '''Uncouth''' Cads!''<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Still missing Quinn]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: As demonstrated, Chris uses this word way more than any 21st-century [[American]] would. It is often speculated that Chris picked up this word from an ''MLP'' episode, where Applebloom and Applejack are talking about what the word "uncouth" means.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-SrQ-Oz1k4</ref> Seeing how this conversation alone is somehow a staple in the Brony subculture, and how Chris is one of those Bronies who sees more [[Night_Star#Chris_spills_the_beans|meaning]] in the show than it actually possesses, Chris likely picked up this term due to how foreign and smart it sounded to him.

Chris is also notorious for his use of British English whenever he tries to make it seem he knows what he's talking about. It is also fairly likely Chris may have adapted this word solely because he thinks British English words will make him sound smarter.
</blockquote>

;[[UNGA-WUNGA]]
<blockquote>1. ''(interjection)'' A sexual chant from the [[Cherokian Clan]].
<blockquote>''There is no quote to directly cite the use of this CWC-ism. This CWC-ism was used in one of Chris's art pieces appropriately named "UNGA-WUNGA"''</blockquote>
Origin: Comes from a horrifying art piece Chris drew of himself banging [[Jackie]] against a tree while a group of Cherokians masturbate to their orgy.<ref>[[:File:Unga_Wunga_Time.jpg]] (NSFW)</ref> As for the questionably racist phrase itself, Chris simply stated that it was "just a random phrase I randomly picked for the natives to chant as they jerked off."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref></blockquote>

;unto
<blockquote>1. ''(preposition)'' Archaic or poetic form of the word "to".

<blockquote>''Now that it has been made fully clear to me, I am now able to devote myself fully '''unto''' you, Julie.''<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 7]]</ref></blockquote>
<blockquote>''I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that [[Mary Lee Walsh|XXXXX]] caused '''unto''' me!''</blockquote>

Origin: Another one of Chris's autistic ways of sounding smart, possibly in imitation of the Bible. (c.f. ''[[Chris and hypocrisy|Do unto others...]]''). Chris uses this form more frequently than most English speakers of the 21st century should, even when it sounds unwieldy.
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== V ==
|-
|
;vaginatables

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' female genitalia

<blockquote>''There is no quote to cite the use of this CWC-ism. Chris used this CWC-ism in an e-mail address "ILuvVaginatables@aol.com".''</blockquote>

Origin: A strange hybrid of the words "vagina" and "vegetables", purely for Random-Access Humor.</blockquote>

;vege-marmite

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Vegemite

<blockquote>''Certainly not a '''vege-marmite''' sanwich. Lol''<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-372</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A retarded pun made by Chris to state his distaste for veggie marmite. Coincidentally, vegemite is essentially marmite, yeast extract from brewing beer turned into a pungent, salty paste, with vegetables and spices added in.<ref>{{w|Vegemite}}</ref></blockquote>

;vestite

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A transvestite person.

<blockquote>''"That is the difference between Trans Gender and '''Vestites'''; ID as the other sex, and dressing like it, respectively"''<ref name=Vestites/></blockquote>

Origin: In the above post, Chris intended to write the words "transgender" and "transvestite" in the same sentence without duplicating the trans suffix. He did so by adding a space between the prefix and the respective endings. It is worth mentioning that "Vestite" is a word in Latin, and simply refers to being clothed, without any connotations regarding cross-dressing.</blockquote>

;[[Virgin with Rage|virgin with rage]]

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' An individual who is sexually frustrated

<blockquote>''Tell me why
I'm stuck as a '''virgin with rage'''!
Tell me why
I so need a cute girl my age!
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say,
"I have a boyfriend!"''<ref>[[So Need a Cute Girl]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: The idea of being a virgin and not having a sweetheart was something that greatly upsetted Chris. He would throw tantrums after losing a potential sweetheart, and thus missing out on an opportunity to lose his virginity.</blockquote>

;[[Virginia is for virgins]]

<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase that pushes the idea that the citizens of Virginia won't allow Chris to get a girlfriend solely due to his autism.

<blockquote>"'''VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS''', NOT LOVERS!"<ref name=CurrentDays/></blockquote>

Origin: An intentional butchering of the phrase "Virginia is for Lovers". His belief that the state of Virginia is behind some kind of conspiracy to prevent him from finding true love has started since attending [[PVCC]]. While there, Chris has gotten himself putting up Attraction Signs, loitering with said signs on campus, and even creating a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter series]] in order to attract potential sweethearts. Seeing how all of this violated the school's rules and policies, he was sent directly to the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Dean]] in order for her to straighten him out.<ref>[[Virginia is for Virgins#Origins]]</ref> Of course, Chris took this to be another instance of him being discriminated, solely for being autistic. This, coupled with the fact that he's already failed on several occasions to actually get to date any of his his female friends in high school, reinforced this belief. </blockquote>

;VOTES FOR WOMEN!
[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly misinterpreted.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase shouted in protest of pictures depicting women with penises.

<blockquote>'''''VOTES FOR WOMEN''', STEP IN TIME! VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME! NEVER NEED A REASON, NEVER NEED A RHYME, VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME!''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P52.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Taken from a sash Mrs. Banks, a character from [[Mary Poppins]], had worn. Chris clearly took this banner to simply refer to any kind of mistreatment towards women, rather than the fairly obvious implication that she's actually fighting for the right to vote.</blockquote>

<blockquote>''See Also'': [[CWC-isms#W|Women's Rights]]
</blockquote>

|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== W ==
|-
|

;Walter Grisby
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A man's name often employed in acts of random-access humor.

<blockquote>''"Is this '''Walter Grisby'''? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what? DAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"''<ref>[[Random-access humor]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The retconned name of the character formerly known as [[Wes Iseli]].

Origin: Unknown; thought by some to be a reference to the Cartoon Network show ''Ed, Edd n Eddy''. A character in the PC game ''The Sims 3'' goes by the name of Walter Grisby, but the game's release post-dates Chris's first uses of the term by some years.
</blockquote>

; Warroir of Love
[[Image:WarriorOfLove.jpg|thumb|300px|History's greatest warroirs.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' an advocate for spreading love and peace.

<blockquote>''"People! You do not understand! By Not blocking the Trolls, you are Promoting Hatred; They don't always side with Love. I Am '''Warroir of Love'''."''<ref>[[BlockTheTrolls#Campaign]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Misspelling of the word "warrior". Chris considers himself a "warrior of love" because he believes that he is the [[Chris and kindness|voice of kindness]]. Most likely derived from the derogatory term "Social Justice Warrior", a term used for individuals who advocate for social justice and equality.
</blockquote>

; water on the rocks
[[File:Water and Dasani.jpeg|thumb|200px|Literally a drink on the rocks.]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' water poured over Chris's [[magic stones]] for drinking.

<blockquote>''#DrinkWater; Filtered or Bottled, preferred; Quartz, Rose Quartz, or Amethyst optional to enjoy it '''on the rocks''' (held in place with aluminum wire).''<ref>[[March 2020 social media posts#watch anime to kill coronavirus]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''staying hydrated with more than 101.4 ounces of filtered '''water on the rocks''' within a #Glacce bottle''<ref>[[January 2021 social media posts#GFuel and meditation]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In accordance with his [[Magical thinking|New Age]] beliefs, Chris purchased a Glacce water bottle for $80+, which features a crystal display set inside. He later placed one of his [[magic stones]] into it, crudely held in by aluminum wire, and refers to drinking from the bottle as "water on the rocks."
</blockquote>

;well-breasted
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Having large breasts.

<blockquote>''And her image dawned upon me in my imagination, starting out as the '''well-breasted''' pink electric-hedgehog (Pok'emon) with the long Raichu-like tail, I drew her outfit onto her in red and Battery-Charged Blue.''<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Rosechu|CWCipedia article on Rosechu}}</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Confusion between "well-endowed" and "large-breasted".

</blockquote>

;witching hours
<blockquote> 1. ''(noun)'' The time between midnight and 4 AM that Chris cannot fall asleep during.

<blockquote>'' I know that I'm gonna be more effective with the '''witching hours''' during the night once again, whether I'm asleep or not, okay.<ref>[[Animated Everfree Message]]</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: May have been picked up from Chris's increasing interest in the [[Magical thinking|occult]]. Generally, the phrase refers to the midnight hours, with the term being inspired by the ancient belief that supernatural events, like witches, demons, and ghosts, are at their most powerful at midnight. Chris adopted the phrase in reference to his [[Biological clock|unusual sleep schedule]].

''See Also:'' [[CWC-isms#B|biological clock]]
</blockquote>

;Woahly
<blockquote> 1. ''(interjection)'' Expression indicating surprise.
<blockquote>'' Who is it Rosey? The Stew's almost ready and I... '''Woahly'''..!''<ref>[[:File:Sonichu15-2019draft-p11.png]]</ref>
</blockquote>
Origin: Portmanteau of "woah" and "holy... (as in the beginning of saying holy shit)," found in [[Sonichu 15]].
</blockquote>

;woman up
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' The female equivalent of manning up.

<blockquote>''Fellow autistic people! I encourage you to man and '''woman up''' [Subtitle: "It is Socializing In Real Life or Dust!"] respectively! Go out into the real world, and make real friends with full, great quality friendships! Do it now!''</blockquote>

Origin: Used in the second part of Chris’s Autism Tutorial, where he insultingly attempts to rally up all autistic people (regardless of their functionality) to form proper friendships, all while missing the point of “manning up”.
</blockquote>

;[[Women's rights]] (or Women's Lib)
<blockquote>
1. ''(noun)'' Any kind of behavior towards women that does not involve abusing them physically or mentally.

<blockquote>''Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the '''Women's Rights''', For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.''<ref>[[Other documents]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' The right for women to not be depicted with a [[CWC-isms#P|pickle]].

<blockquote>''FOR OUR '''RIGHTS AS WOMEN''' AMONG ALL PEOPLE, I WILL OVERPOWER THOSE SLANDEROUS JERKS!!!''<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P58.jpg]]</ref></blockquote>

3. ''(noun)'' The act of women protesting by stripping down naked.

<blockquote>''Well, once we get our centerfolds shot and uploaded, hopefully those bastards will see and admire our beautiful lights.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Yeah, and if nothing else, we can still have a lot of fun trying.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''With our lord's support in our peaceful protest, we can win this fight.''</blockquote>

<blockquote>''Victory for '''Women's Lib'''''.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P51.jpg]]</ref>
</blockquote>

Origin: Chris's understanding of sexism is botched up beyond belief. His zeal towards the rights of women is believed to have originated from watching the 1964 Disney film, Mary Poppins. He was particularly influenced by Mrs. Banks, who has expressed distaste for unequal treatment for women in 1910 London. As to be expected, Chris missed the point of this part of her character, and instead used this in order to justify his treatment towards the women he meets. Chris also believed that the term "sexism" only applies to forms of violence against women, and not necessarily representing in a condescending manner.

</blockquote>

;wooden nickel
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Acoustic guitar.

<blockquote>''I got the idea of the challenge from him COPYING me playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on Guitar Hero on his old '''Wooden Nickel'''; if he wants to copy on Guitar, he may as well be challenged in a Sing-Off.''<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In real life, a wooden nickel is a now defunct form of currency used during the Great Depression. His use probably refers to the phrase "don't take any wooden nickels" - that is, he is calling the acoustic guitar a semi-worthless imitation of his Guitar Hero controller.
</blockquote>

;worse
<blockquote>1. ''(adverb)'' Severely; extremely, in an adverse manner

<blockquote>''IMHO, having Seinor Citizens for Parents throughout your whole life is no picnic; they are '''WORSE''' Overprotective.''<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>

;worst mud, muck and bodily fluids

<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Mud, among [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|other disgusting things]].

<blockquote>''The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids.''<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: First used by Chris in a June 2012 Facebook post ranting about that damn [[Michael Snyder]]. Refers to having his good name or reputation dragged through the mud, with "bodily fluids" added in an attempt to garner sympathy.
</blockquote>

|-
|
;wrath
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' Great [[Chris and anger|anger]] or rage. Considered one of the [[Chris and religion|Seven Deadly Sins]].

<blockquote>''Apparently, my, uh, heed of warning towards Vivian has gone unheard or otherwise SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY '''WRATH'''''<ref>[[Sign Destruction Video]]</ref></blockquote>

2. ''(noun)'' Strength sufficient to lift an office chair.

<blockquote>''I HAAAVE THE POWEEERRRR!!! FEEL MY '''WRATH'''!!''<ref>[[Power]]</ref></blockquote>
</blockquote>
|}

{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

==X==
|-
|
;X2-checking
<blockquote>1. ''(verb)'' Double Checking
<blockquote>''Just '''X2-checking''' if you got the drawing I left you.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-11-2017-chris-spotted-at-bronycon.33187/page-35#post-2511049]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Comes from x2 meaning times two, which means double to Chris.</blockquote>

;XXX-tended
<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' Sexually explicit
<blockquote>''ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE TRUTH BOMBS AND ROSEY ROSECHU's POST-INTERSEX-TO-FEMALE TRANSITION AND OPERATION NUDES IN THE '''XXX-TENDED''' CONTROVERSIAL VERSION OF MY BOOK NUMBER EIGHT IN 2008!''<ref>[[Jail_Letter - 20 October 2021#22 October]]</ref></blockquote>

</blockquote>
;XXXXX
<blockquote>1. ''(noun, censorship)'' censorship of the word "bitch"
<blockquote>''Mary Lee Walsh made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM VERY ANGRY AT THAT '''XXXXX'''!''<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref></blockquote>
Origin: Chris's only instance of this peculiar censorship is in his [[diary]]. In it, Chris repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "XXXXX", clearly as a censorship of the word "bitch". Why Chris chose to replace all of the letters in the word with the capital letter "X", instead of using asterisks remains a mystery.</blockquote>

|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Y ==

</blockquote>
|-
|
;y'all should know me by now
|-
|<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' An introduction to complete strangers.

<blockquote>'''''Y'all should know me by now''', but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, back on March 17th, 2000.''<ref name=csm/></blockquote>
Origin: His second message on YouTube, addressed to the ED trolls. He would use it several more times after this, possibly making this into his tagline. The introduction is made under the assumption that Chris is [[Chris and his Ego|already well-known]]. May have been partially derived from ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', where a character similarly begins a speech by saying, "You all know me."
</blockquote>

</blockquote>

;yea and merrily
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase used to open videos where Chris is feeling [[Messiah complex|messianic]].

<blockquote>'''''Yea and merrily''' to everyone. Welcome to this.''<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''Hey everybody! '''Yea and merrily'''.''<ref>[[Simple Existential Q&A]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: A stupid play on "yea, verily", an antiquated phrase meaning "yes, truly", often assumed to have been said by Jesus in the {{w|King James Version}} of the Bible. Although the word "verily" is often used by Jesus in the King James Version, the phrase "yea, verily" never actually appears anywhere in the King James Bible. It does, however, appear in the {{w|Book of Mormon}}.
</blockquote>

;You don't rape a hamster!
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' A phrase condeming the raping of women kept as sex slaves, but apologizing for acussing someone of doing so.

<blockquote> ''It was just like you know...he had to—he had those four Rosechus in his basement. Kept 'em in cages. Treated them like hamsters. Ham—giant hamster wheel. Water bottle. Food pellets. No rape. Just hamsters. '''You don't rape a hamster!'''''<ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in the video [[I am Alive]], where Chris dispels "rumors" that were being propogated by trolls who were vandalizing the CWCipedia. In the video, he apologizes to [[Alec Benson Leary]] for misunderstandings about [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|acussing him of keeping women in his basement]], comparing them to hamsters.</blockquote>

;young at heart

<blockquote>1. ''(noun, attributive)'' An individual with childlike characteristics; a childish person.

<blockquote>''Hello Nintendo! Welcome to my Animal Crossing for Nintendo GameCube. I am your host. My name is Christian Weston Chandler. I live in Ruckersville, Virginia and I is [sic] 21 years old and I play because I am '''young at heart'''. So anyway we are going to take a tour of my ci-ty...in Animal Crossing.''<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''I am '''Young at Heart'''; a concept I have kept within myself since childhood.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-27-chris-wants-everyone-to-be-a-manchild-like-him.33726/]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote>''We, the '''Young at heart''' stand alongside our Liked and Cared others.''<ref>[[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-8-27-chris-wants-everyone-to-be-a-manchild-like-him.33726/]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Chris more often than not advertises his childish nature as being "young at heart". As if this was a more positive quality of himself, he even goes as far as using this as a reason for girls to fall in love with him in his [[attraction signs]]. This is because Chris can't tell the difference between being a child at heart and being childish. In his mind, people who are considered "childish" actually lead a happier and more exciting life, since he believes that childlike people are more willing to show off their [[kindness]] and are generally more eccentric. In reality, adults who are "young at heart" generally have a somewhat innocent outlook of life and are generally interested in things considered suitable for children, yet understand their responsibilities as adults, something which Chris has failed to do since graduating [[High School]].
</blockquote>
|}
{| class="collapsible" style="width:100%; text-align: left;"
! style="background-color:#ffffff;" |

== Z ==
|-
|

;zap to the extreme
[[Image:ZapToTheExtreme.png|thumb|200px]]
<blockquote>1. ''(phrase)'' Go out and be brave.

<blockquote>''Go! Sonichu! Go out and '''zap to the extreme'''!''<ref>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref></blockquote>

<blockquote> ''Now everyone stay green and go out and '''zap to the extr-r-r-r-r-eme'''. Have a lovely day.''<ref>[[A New, Fun Trick]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: This phrase is first used on the cover of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], where Chris's self-insert tells Sonichu to "zap to the extreme" as if Chris and Sonichu were in a bona fide [[Pokémon]] tournament. Chris would then end up using this phrase time and again, usually completely out of context of its original meaning.
</blockquote>

;zapbud
<blockquote>1. ''(noun)'' A fictitious flower found in the ''Sonichu'' canon; Rosechu's favorite flower.

<blockquote>''Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose, though a '''Zapbud''' is the flower that heals your woes.''<ref name=OdeToRosechu/></blockquote>

Origin: Essentially the result of Chris attempting to create a mythology around his ''Sonichu'' comics, he created some of his own flora as well. Because "zapping" was a very common theme in the earlier issues of ''Sonichu'', Chris thought about naming his flora after this one theme. The term has ironically become popular with trolls and enablers, where they name made-up characters and places after it.</blockquote>

<blockquote>2. ''(noun)'' a [[CWC-isms#S|sweetheart]].

<blockquote>''Yes, my blossoming '''zapbud'''. That's why we are here.''<ref>[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: In this context, the term is used the same way a female lover may be compared to a flower. This was clearly an attempt to make the flora have a greater significance by making it sound like something beautiful.
</blockquote>

;zombie-like

<blockquote>1. ''(adjective)'' To be riddled with dementia.

<blockquote>''Also, Barb is literally a Zombie-Like Living Body with little remaining of Barbara (her Soul) within her anymore; that living body is Running on Fumes at this point. She CAN NOT Drive anymore, regardless of Van loss; she has the fridgid mental activity and physical ability like a scared deer in headlights nearly ALL the time since even before June, 2021.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref></blockquote>

Origin: Used in a [[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022|Jail Letter]] where Chris seems to imply that during his affair with his mother, she might have been declining mentally.
</blockquote>

|}

==References==

<references/>

==Navigation==

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Manajerks

2026-05-30T08:21:49Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Turdijerk */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[File:B-manajerk real.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's rendition of what the B-Manajerk may have actually looked like, based on Chris's descriptions.]]

'''Manajerks''' (a {{w|Blend word|portmanteau}} of "manager" and "[[JERKS|jerk]]") are villains featured in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], most prominently in the [[Sub-Episodes]], who regularly antagonize [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic book counterpart]]. They are based on a multitude of real life store managers who all threw Chris out of their places of business for being a creepy stalker during his [[Love Quest]]. In the comic, the manajerks are all super powered agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], whom Chris and his team of recolors regularly need to neutralize.

After his adventures on [[26 December 2014]], Chris began using the [[CWC-isms|term]] '''ass manager''' to refer to [[Yellow-Shirted Foe|his victim]], the [[GameStop]] assistant manager who he had peppersprayed and who ultimately took him to court.

==Origins==
Chris coined the term in [[CWC's Diary]] to describe the two Charlottesville [[Wal-Mart]] managers who confronted him on 22 June 2005. He has since used it in reference to other perceived enemies, including the managers of his local [[Target]], the management of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], [[Michael Snyder]], and another Wal-Mart manager who ejected him from the chain's Ruckersville location in the summer of 2013.

==Manajerks in real life==
Real-life manajerks, or as they're known to people who aren't [[Chris|infantile buffoons]], "managers," are employees responsible for organizing other employees to accomplish desired goals within a business. While sometimes frustrating to those who work under their supervision, managers usually seek only to improve the productivity and prosperity of their workplace, thus benefiting both customer and employee alike.

At times, the duties of a manager can sometimes require them to take charge of difficult situations, such as a [[Christian Weston Chandler|patron]] who loiters in [[Get-Tar Region|the workplace]], purchasing nothing and using the facilities as his personal retreat. Such situations can have a negative effect on the business. For example, if this hypothetical patron happens to be [[Chris and health#Hygiene|unwilling to shower]] and have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], his odor might prove distasteful to paying customers. Similarly, if this purely fictional patron should happen to hold [[Attraction Sign|a sign]] expressing his desire for [[Chris and sex|intimate relations]] with young [[Chris and race|white]] [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]], it might also put off paying customers who would find the patron [[autism|crude and bizarre]]. Even worse, if such a patron were to [[Mal-Wart|vandalize store property]] or engage in similar property destruction, it's often a manager's responsibility to step in, and inform the patron that his behavior is inappropriate for a place of business. If the patron becomes [[Chris and negotiation|unresponsive or difficult]], even to the point of, say, [[GameStop Assault|assaulting said manager with pepper spray]], the manager may also be charged with contacting the [[Jerkop|proper authorities]] to have him escorted ([[Kick the Autistic|forcibly, if need be]]) from the premises.

==Manajerks in ''Sonichu''==
In the pages of ''Sonichu'', manajerks, like [[jerkop|police officers]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|college deans]], [[CADD Chef|CADD instructors]], and other [[Jerkhief|authority figures]], are all tyrannical cockblockers who want nothing more than to ruin Chris's life. To this end, whenever Chris enters a public place to spend hours drawing comics, playing [[video games]], building [[Heart Torch of Fail|crude sculptures]] with [[Pixelblocks]], and panhandling for sexual favors, these evil manajerks descend upon him like [[Nazis|the Gestapo]], ordering him to leave and never return. Just as Chris refuses to recognize the authority of private security personnel and the police, he also dismisses the manajerks as having no say in how he abuses their businesses. It's also worth noting that Chris seems to have only a nebulous grasp of how businesses work (e.g. his suggestion that you "tip your waitress" the next time you visit your local [[GameStop]]),<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> which may explain why he takes their actions so personally.

Since Chris tends to assume all of his enemies are [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiring against him]] in one great, monolithic organization, he depicts the manajerks and jerkops as operatives of the same [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Chris-hating team]], with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as its leader. Similarly, Chris also assumes that any perceived attack against him is an attack against anything he believes he represents, and so the manajerks and other enemies are depicted as being anti-romance, anti-[[virgin]], anti-[[autistic]], etc.

Though Chris has depicted manajerks numerous times in the comics, not much is actually known about how they operate. Unlike jerkops, who have known to target any and all lovers in the city of [[CWCville]] during their invasions,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_25</ref> the manajerks seem to target Chris and only Chris. This would seem to make them appear to be assassins of a sort, but Chris is only ever seen being attacked by them while in stores, such as [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] or [[McDonald's]], which may instead suggest that the manajerks really are store managers, but they just happen to be evil love-hating footsoldiers of PVCC as well. Following the revelation in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] that all the manajerks were brainwashed just like the jerkops were, this seems most likely.

Of note however, is that Chris refers to all the stores where these confrontations take place by a comic book alias. In the comic, he isn't getting thrown out of [[Fashion Square Mall]]; he's fighting in the ''Fa-Square'', of the ''Sho-Mall Region''. Target is similarly referred to as the Get-Tar Region and Wal-Mart is the Mal-Wart Region and the McDonalds in the Wal-Mart became M-C-D-Ville. The manajerks are shown to reside in and possibly rule over these regions, as [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] refers to manajerk [[ScotPalazzo]] as having "banned all virgins from his region", which seems to suggest that the manajerks were not restricted to just being soldiers, but were more like warlords. This of course raises the question however, of how bad things have to be in [[CWCville]] that terrorists are able to take over whole shopping complexes and declare ownership of them.

===B-Manajerk===
[[File:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Based on a True Story.]]

B-Manajerk was a manajerk first featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] and [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. To date, he is one of the only villains that [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's comic persona]] has ever been able to defeat single-handedly, as almost every other one-on-one fight Chris has ever had in the comics inevitably ended with him getting beaten half to death [[Chris and writing|until he was saved by another character]]. Not much is known about the B-Manajerk, not even his real name. What little we do know comes from Chris's own records of their encounters, as described below. If Chris's accounts are anything to go by, The B-Manajerk was the manager of the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart Chris got kicked out of, or else a subordinate to the man Chris identifies only as a "Merried Seinor Comic". One way or another, Chris was kicked out of the McDonald's, but felt that he was still entitled to loiter in the rest of the Wal-Mart and play with [[Pixelblocks]]. Since this was outside of the B-Manajerk's jurisdiction, he called in the manager of the Wal-Mart to deal with him, at which point Chris ran off like a little bitch, which Chris seems to consider a brilliant tactical victory.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

{{quote|June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the [[McDonald's]] at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], and apparently complaints were made. The two [[Manajerks|manajerkss]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[Niggos|Black]], [[Obesity|Fat]] Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Mall]], whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free Girl]], like I have been doing for the past [[Love Quest|over one-year and ten-months]]. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[Attraction Sign|sign]] from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Extract from [[CWC's Diary]]}}
[[File:B Manajerk.jpg|thumb|right|Based on a truer story.]]
The B-Manajerk first appeared in Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris sits peacefully at the McDonald's, which he terms "M-C-D-Ville" in the "[[Mal-Wart]] Region", until the B-Manajerk and the Merried Seinor Comic confront him preemptively. While the Merried Seinor Comic has cybernetic arms and legs, the B-Manajerk is arrayed in golden armor, wears glasses and has a round head, looking a great deal like the [[Jerkhief]], as Chris describes in his journal entry (though Chris [[Facial blindness|may not be the best judge of that]]). He is also armed with a golden axe and a pair of large guns. B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief warned them about Chris, and since having a mate of any kind is a violation of Mal-Wart law, they plan to "intercept" him, using [[Mecha-Jerkops]] on loan from the Jerkhief.

Though outnumbered, Chris stands his ground, and [[Darkbind Sonichu]] comes to his aid, destroying the Mecha-Jerkops and defeating the Merried Seinor Comic so that Chris can battle the B-Manajerk one-on-one. He transforms into [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and the "[[Anime Wings|anime wings]]" he had been wearing on his head transform into working wings, similar to the Wing Hat power-up from ''[[Mario|Super Mario 64]]''. The B-Manajerk uses rocket boosters mounted to his back to confront Chris-Chan in an aerial duel, but Chris uses several techniques to confuse and misdirect him, including a decoy made of Pixelblocks. After defeating the B-Manajerk, Chris lectured both of his enemies on the importance of his [[Love Quest]] and the absolute necessity of his [[Attraction Sign]].

The B-Manajerk would briefly return in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where [[Mary Lee Walsh]] announced Chris's disappearance into the [[Time Void]].

Contrary to popular belief, this was actually not the last anyone saw or heard of B-Manajerk and his partner however, like it was for so many others before them. Though he was never actually ''seen'' again, the B-Manajerk was mentioned during the events of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']]. Towards the end of the issue, whilst [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] return from the battle against [[Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Robotnik]], they receive a psychic message from [[Magi-Chan]] informing them of the state of the battle. In the same textwall in which he announces the death of [[Ivy]] and the destruction of the [[Decepti-Clones]], he briefly mentions that B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic had somehow grown to a gigantic size and took part in the battle with the rest of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. The battle is never actually shown, but Magi-Chan assures Sonichu and the readers that they were defeated by the Kart Megazord owned by the CWC-[[Power Rangers]] and that the two of them were shrunk back to their original size. The Kart Megazord itself is briefly glimpsed in the background.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_93</ref>

This would be the last time the manajerks were ever seen or heard from in the comics. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], Chris would use his [[Colossal Chan]] form to completely destroy PVCC and undo the brainwashing effect used to control all its members. According to [[Mailbag 52]], this freed all the manajerks too. Chris later stated that the manajerks were cleared by the [[CWCville]] courts for their crimes, due to the fact that they couldn't help their actions at the time, but that they were depowered before being set free.{{cite}}

[[Chris and race|And yes, the "B" in "B-Manajerk" does stand for "black"]].<ref>[[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook]]</ref>

===Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby===
[[Image:MSC.jpg|thumb|left|You're missing your arms and legs, you work in a [[McDonald's]], and you have the most embarrassing and incomprehensible name in the world. Obviously the answer is to go into supervillainy.]]

{{quote|[I] was going with a pun from the witness humor he had expressed, and feeling the upset from what had happened that time. Likely, he was married, but [I] wasn't sure, so [I] went with something from "Ye olde Merry Men" and smooshed the "Merried" term, also implying that he had used to be more merry and positive. "Senior", since he was that old. And "Comic" for his [[Random-access humor|comical delivery and word choice]] in each interaction.|Chris's long-awaited explanation for the name.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 8]]</ref>}}

Merried Seinor Comic is a McDonald's manager, real name Kirby McDerbie. He is quite possibly the most unfortunately named villain in all of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', as readers couldn't figure out what the meaning of the words that Chris was trying to convey for over a decade after the comic's publication, and the name of the manajerk's real-life counterpart offered no insight into this strangeness. Fans presumed that the name was a misspelling of "Married Senior Comic". Eventually, Chris would offer an explanation (shown above) in 2020, indicating that "Merried" was a pun on "Merry" and "Married", while [[Chris and English#Spelling|"Seinor" was a misspelling]], although even putting it together, it's still a baffling name choice.

The Merried Seinor Comic appeared for the first time in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']], helping the [[B-Manajerk]] in his opposition of Chris's [[Love Quest]]. He is one half of the McDuo of the City of [[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]] of the Region of [[Mal-Wart]]. He has cybernetic arms and legs and is armed with a broadsword, for no apparent reason except that it allows Chris to recreate the Black Knight scene from ''[[Monty Python]] and the Holy Grail''.<ref>[[:Image:MSCPython.jpg]]</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Merried Seinor Comic was defeated in a sword fight by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], whilst Chris defeated his partner. In [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], which continues the two part story, the [[W-M-Manajerk]] arrives as back-up, but when he fails as well the McDuo flee the scene, with the Comic not seeming to even care about the recent loss of both his arms.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], the character appears at [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention, where he is even more inexplicably described as Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby, although the "Kirby" has been [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|removed in more recent versions]]. This is the last time the character is seen, but as mentioned above, he did participate in the Battle of CWCville offscreen, becoming a giant along with the B-Manajerk and fighting the Kart Megazord. It is presumed that he was depowered and set free like the other manajerks after [[Collosal Chan]] reversed [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s brainwashing.

===W-M-Manajerk===
[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|Truly a [[Kick the Autistic|shining example]] to us all. But for W-M-Manajerk, it's an average day.]]

After Chris was kicked out of the Wal-Mart's McDonald's, as was described above, he returned two days later, apparently feeling that his expulsion only applied to the McDonalds, and not the entire building. The man he identifies as "B-Manajerk", frustrated with Chris's unwelcome return, asked the Wal-Mart manager to deal with him. After a terse argument, Chris fled, flipping the Wal-Mart Manager off, and shouting his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|weeaboo magic spells]] at him. Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, [[2005]], Chris took revenge in the only way he could; by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his [[Chris and reality|fantasy life]].
[[File:W-M-Manajerk fan art.jpg|thumb|right|[[Metal Gear|Don't fuck with this manajerk.]]]]
In the [[You know what%2C I HATE ME TOO!!!]] segment Christian put on his [[ED]] page in [[March 2008]], he says he "got [his] ass handed to [him] by a cripple" with an image from Sub-Episode 5 of W-M-Manajerk beating up Chris-Chan. This could imply that the real life W-M-Manajerk might be physically disabled in some way, perhaps explaining the reason he has a robotic body in the comics.

The W-M-Manajerk character first appeared at the end of Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In the comic, Chris defeats B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]] at the end of Sub-Episode 4. Darkbind leaves, thinking the crisis resolved, but soon Chris is confronted by another enemy, the W-M-Manajerk. Unlike the B-Manajerk, who seems to be a human clad in armor, the W-M-Manajerk appears to be merely a human head in a jar, mounted atop a massive robot body. His appearance seems to be based on {{w|Richard Nixon}} in the ''[[Futurama]]'' episode "A Head in the Polls". This episode featured Nixon as a similarly built robot with a head in a jar. The concept of a head in a jar is hardly unique to ''Futurama'', but it is a show beloved by Chris and virtually nothing he draws hasn't been at least loosely based off an already existing character.

The story continues in Sub-Episode 5, where Chris and the W-M-Manajerk do battle. Unlike the "verbal combat" in his real life encounter, the fight here is completely physical, with W-M pretty much beating the crap out of Chris, as you might expect a giant robot would. Just as Chris begins to lose hope though, he receives a vision from the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who informs him that he must combine the powers of his [[Medallions|Medallion of Fail]] with his [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Dream Sibling of Fail]]. Realizing that his ancestor is referring to Crystal, whom he had previously drawn on one of his home-made [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards, Chris follows his advice and manages to create a physical body for his imaginary twin sister.

Undaunted, W-M-Manajerk presses his attack, but when Chris and Crystal transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] respectively, they quickly overpower him. By combining their ultimate attacks--Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and Crystal's Shocking Tiara Magic, they destroy the Manajerk's armor, leaving only his disembodied head.

Crystal gives W-M a long, boring talk about how important it is for Chris to get laid, and how W-M is missing out on some "awesomly great emotions, big time". Even Chris gets tired of hearing the bitch ramble on, even though he does the exact same nearly every issue, and he stops her to ask who sent W-M-Manajerk in the first place. W-M reveals that he, along with B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, were agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] led by [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Furious that Walsh has attacked him again, Chris and Crystal kick the head-jar all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Mary on the head.

W-M-Manajerk would briefly return (sans body) in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC.

Unlike B-Manajerk's armor, W-M-Manajerk's robot body is actually pretty damn strong. It survives several attacks from both Chris and Crystal, and appeared to possess super-strength, being able to effortlessly lift [[Obesity|the very heavy]] Chris high above its head, and was also able to punch him with sufficient strength to send him flying backwards into a soda fountain. The jar containing his head appears to be quite durable as well, since it survived being kicked from Mal-Wart to PVCC without breaking, even upon collision with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s head. It can be assumed that the head-jar also acted as a kind of life support system.

Only the combined power of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu were able to defeat the W-M-Manajerk's body. As these are two of the more powerful characters in the series, that makes W-M-Manajerk a pretty major league guy. Of course, now that he's just a head, his threat level is severely diminished. Hell, [[Rosechu]] could probably beat him up now.

===ScotPalazzo===
[[Image:SchuComic8Page36.jpg|thumb|left|170px|ScotPalazzo: a villain who has an uncanny talent of unnaturally bending his arms around tables at 90 degree angles.]]

The only man on the planet to spell his first and last name without a space, and possibly the first manajerk Chris encountered, ScotPalazzo was based upon the manager of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], rechristened the "Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. Chris's experiences in Fashion Square were documented earlier in the series when he battled the [[Jerkhief]] and got trolled hard by [[Hanna]], but ScotPalazzo himself would not be introduced until [[Sub-Episode 6]], when he expressed envy of Chris for his made-up TV show ''CWC's Backyard Safari''. Scot was clearly designed to resemble {{w|List of Excel Saga characters#Il Palazzo|Lord Il Palazzo}} from ''[[Excel Saga]]'', and he is depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love itself for his mother's murder-suicide.

Whether or not the real Scot Palazzo suffered such a traumatic life as his comic counterpart, the fictional Scot remained one of the only villains in the series to give any kind of reason for his actions. [[Wes Iseli]] was motivated by jealousy, Mary gave reasons for her own war on love in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s motivation was existentialism, and then there was Scot. Despite being one of the few villains to actually have motivation to do all the crazy super-villain shit the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] gets up to however, he never actually ''does'' anything. In his debut appearance, he hires more [[jerkop|Jerkops]] to take down Chris, but he never gets any kind of [[semen|comeuppance]] for this and he never fights any of the heroes. He cameos again in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] at the council of villains, and his character description says that he banned all [[virgin with rage|virgins]] from his region, but this is all he has ever been seen to do. In many ways, he is more like an actual manager than any of the other manajerks on this page.

His given motivation conflicts with later revelations that all PVCC members, including the manajerks, were really just brainwashed slaves of Mary Lee Walsh. [[Collosal Chan|Colossal Chan]]'s power supposedly undid all brainwashing, and Chris's statements on the subject claimed that all the manajerks were cleared of everything. Presumably this can be taken to mean that Scot was also a victim, and that his jaded personality was reverted to whatever he was like prior to Mary's effect.

===Turdijerk===
[[File:Get-Tar Manajerks.jpg|thumb|Behold, the two most harmless villains in the series.]]

The last of the manajerks to be introduced, Turdijerk first appeared in Sub-Episode 7 in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], alongside his accomplice Trebor Capman. The duo confronted Chris in the Get-Tar Region. The episode was based on an incident that occurred in real life at a newly opened [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] store in Chris's area. Attempting to start fresh in new [[Attraction Location|prowling grounds]], Chris planned to pay a single dollar to receive a soda at their snack bar and exploit their free refill policy (which is usually meant for paying patrons who order food as well as drink) to keep refilling that same soda [[Obesity|over and over again]] while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters and spying on women as they shopped, keeping his sitting area near the entrance/exit. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned officer [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store.

Unlike previous Manajerks, Chris doesn't give these two any special powers or armor, and the two aren't even named until their later cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], when all of the Manajerks meet with Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC. In their initial appearance, the two manajerks walk up to Chris at his table and tell him that he was loitering and had to get out, saying they had been in contact with the Mal-Wart and knew of his behavior. Even in his idealized fantasy world where Chris whitewashes everything he does, the comic version of Chris is indeed loitering, and he also initially ignores the two managers trying to talk to him. Upon noticing them, he groans and says he is NOT loitering, and then summons a tornado with his medallion, channeling Angelica's powers, to blow them both away. It should be noted at this point that these two manajerks did not actually attack Chris, or even threaten him, meaning Chris just [[Chris and the law|assaulted two unarmed normal humans]] [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|for telling him to leave their store]].

The names of the characters are puzzling. [[Trolls]] speculate that Trebor Capman might actually be an alias for someone called ''Robert'' Capman (given Chris's love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing]] [[Pmurt|names]]), or a misspelling of ''Trevor Chapman'', and while the origin of Turdijerk's name is somewhat more ambiguous, the two most common theories are that the name was either derived from a stereotype of the Indian accent (as the character has a vaguely South Asian appearance and his real-life counterpart is probably the same, and also that the first half of his name vaguely resembles a phonetic representation of the Indian English pronunciation of "thirty"), or that the name "Turdijerk" is merely Chris's [[Random-access humor|juvenile sense of humor]] and a way to insult the real life manager by giving him a nickname with the word "[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|turd]]" in it.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Merried Seinor Comic detailed fanart.png|Dramatic Rendition.
Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|[[Soul Calibur|Video game recreation]].
Image:Manajerks.jpg|Getting decapitated merely pissed him off.
Image:MSCsavestheday.png|Merried Seinor Comic, stopping the [[autistic]] wonder from [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|procreating]].
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[PVCCitizens]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Walmart|Mal-Wart Region]]
*[[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]]
*[[Target|Get-Tar Region]]
*[[Amanda]]

==References==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Terrorism

2026-05-28T05:50:24Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: Changed redirect target from Twin Falling Towers to Chris and death#Terrorism and assassination

#REDIRECT [[Chris and death#Terrorism and assassination]]

Chris and English

2026-05-11T06:04:41Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Repetition */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is...]]
[[Image:Englishfordummies.jpg|thumb|right|...nor [[Computer|this]].]]

{{quote|I No [[Chris and socialization|Socialize]] Online.|Chris's strangely appropriate [[PSN]] comment.}}

{{quote|AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!|[[Song of Christian]]}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things he believes he's mastered, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>[https://archive.md/VFIwC :: Diagnostic Criteria for Autistic Disorder through the years]</ref> Chris often shows little regard for even the most informal standards of spelling, grammar, punctuation, vocabulary, and form. Additionally, he uses obscure constructs that may be grammatically correct, but are also unnecessarily wordy, confusing, semantically vague, or atypical. Other habits, such as his use of "y'all," "ain't," dropped G's (running pronounced runnin'), and double negatives, are clear markers of his [[Virginia|Southeastern]] regional accent. Still others are just plain nonsensical, at least without prior knowledge of his {{w|idiolect}}.

Chris spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older, presumably due to his increased isolation, which has affected his English in general, as well as his broader grasp on [[Chris and language|linguistic communication]].

==CWC-isms==
{{Main|CWC-isms}}
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading or listening will be able to understand exactly what he means. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to re-appropriate existing words and phrases, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[Semen|comeuppance]] isn't a fitting outcome for someone's deeds, and [[china]] isn't an [[Punchy Sonichu|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like the definite article "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive desperately grasping for credibility. Other famous CWC-isms like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]," and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds [[Homos|repulsive]], so he is forced to come up with euphemisms for these terms, which range from [[Navy|confusing puns]] to changing a single letter in a word, barely altering its pronunciation (i.e. niggos). The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[speech impediment]] and his accent to form an unholy trifecta that defines his speech. With the constant stream of half-words and repetition, it is sometimes difficult to understand what exactly he is talking about. Any resemblance to actual English is tenuous at best; the words he uses are English, but the structure is far from proper. The fact that his vocabulary is a bit lacking only compounds the situation.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it [[Chris and reality|illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe]]. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay," being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [''sic''] and sayings of the word will [[Chris and the law|ONLY LEGALLY]] be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, [[IRC (02 January 2009)]]}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound fancy and smart, but instead only makes him look like he doesn't know and/or cannot spell the word "instances.", which in turn makes him sound like a lunatic. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to [[Chris and the law|make it illegal]] to use a word a certain way, which is staggeringly [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] given that, as aforementioned, he often ascribes his own, nonsensical meanings to existing words and phrases.

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly [[Chris and his ego|how self-centered he is]]. While the whole purpose of language is to communicate thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn his vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, to put it lightly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech. His grammar is also, predictably, abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|fingering]] as "[[CWC-isms#O|outtercourse]],"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-''—which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all—while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." (Incidentally, "outercourse" is an actual colloquialism meaning {{w|Non-penetrative sex|dry-humping}}, not fingering.) Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

Chris often misuses punctuation in many ways, with comedic results. In particular, he tends not to use hyphens when they're needed, but for some reason also add hyphens where they ''aren't'' needed, such as in his stock phrase "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]." Clearly he means that he wants to create a relationship from the "ground up." A literal interpretation, though, means he wants to create a girlfriend from something that's been ground up—coffee, cinnamon, pepper, etc. Another prominent example is him writing "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

Because Chris feels the need to type things precisely as he would say them, and worries that he will be misunderstood in print, he makes heavy usage of repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style, comparable to the style used in comic books and graphic novels, which have no doubt influenced him. He also tends to Capitalize Words At Random (a common literary trait among Autistics), especially Nouns and those which hold Importance to the sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to systematically understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying, similar to the Old Grammatical Laws of the Middle [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1800s]]. Also owing to his highly recitative manner of writing, he often adds letters to words to emphasize them. While this on its own is not something unique to Chris, most other people would write "sooo" instead of "so," for example. Chris, however, would only add one "o" to make "soo," which is rather amusing when read phonetically as it makes him sound like a stereotypical [[Tomgirl|effeminate]] [[Homos|homosexual]].

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON [[virgin|I have not had sex yet]] in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality Homosexuality] on CWCipedia</ref>}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like a child, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he'll often veer off topic in order to babble about [[Random-access humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading, or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences, and a copious amount of text in general (especially in the comics). A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[honest]]," which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would mean he's not telling the whole truth. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

Chris has demonstrated particular ineptitude in his usage of semicolons. Semicolons are usually used to connect two independent clauses together without a conjunction, and whatever succeeds a semicolon should be pertinent to whatever immediately preceded it. Chris, however, uses them to crudely string together two (or more) tangentially-related thoughts into a sentence that is consequently incoherent to anyone and which causes confusion as to what Chris even means in the first place. Chris also frequently misuses the semicolon in character dialogue, using it where he should use a full stop (period) or something else entirely.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters," [[Rosechu]] is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "[[Bubbles Rosechu]]," "[[Angelica Rosechu]]," and recently introduced, "[[Lolisa Rosechu]]," of whom her Boyfriend, "[[Jamsta Sonichu]]," was the one who Interviewed [[Blanca]] and her [[Jiggliami]] on Radio Station, [[KCWC]].|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

It is well-known that Chris has trouble with simple spelling, as evidenced by all the "''{{w|sic}}''" tags scattered around the CWCki. Despite a myriad of other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He has many rigid, totally consistent habits which he never corrects, such as substituting "ein" for "eni," as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Similarly, "teir" is how Chris spells the word tier on his [[Patreon]] page.

[[File:Teir.png|thumb|150px|How Chris spells tier, one example of many on the page.]]

Chris often spells difficult words phonetically, like a grade-school child still learning literacy, for example spelling "caricature" as "characiture," rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in any of the dozens of programs available that would automatically correct his spelling.

Long after fans discovered his comics, it was realized that the term "[[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]]" is supposed to be a pun, and not just another instance of Chris's butchery of the English language resulting from "u" and "i" being adjacent on the QWERTY keyboard, as most had originally assumed. This largely goes to show that Chris's ability to spell correctly is so noticeably poor that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes unnoticed for ''years''.

In 2014, when he started dating the British-affiliated [[Catherine]], Chris arbitrarily began to use British spellings, especially of the word "colour," since this was particularly relevant to his [[Sonic Boom Protests|protest du jour]]. By March 2015, he was still using these spellings, using the dumb excuse that he was of [[Anne Boleyn|British]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestry]]. He has been observed to (inconsistently) use U.K. English spellings as recently as [[May 2022]] in [[Jail_Letter_-_11_May_2022|his letter]] to [[Kengle]] following his return to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]].

===Typos===
[[Image:Sonichu_Typos.jpg|thumb|left|More perfect spelling from <s>Mr.</s> [[Tomgirl|Miss]] Chandler.]]

The above spelling problem is only compounded by Chris's constant typos. The very first sentence on the first page of the comic contains the word "[[Sonichu 0|mies]]" in place of "miles." And even when he edits pages that contain these mistakes and has a chance to fix them, he invariably misses them a second time, like "[[Sonichu 7|dood]]" instead of "good" in issue seven.

The fact that these typos exist only goes to prove that Chris does not bother to proofread his works even a single time after completion and prior to uploading them to the Internet. And assuming that he has read his own comic at some point or another, and that someone '''must''' have drawn his attention to these mistakes at some point, the only logical conclusion is that Chris can not be bothered to go back and fix these typos even when he is aware of them.

Chris acknowledged these spelling mistakes in a [[July 2017 tweets#Improvement|tweet]] on [[July 2017]], claiming that the typos are "etched in history forever."

===Definitions and vocabulary===
Chris has a very bad habit of not knowing what he's talking about, and this is readily observable in his '''vocabulary''' – beyond the above [[CWC-isms]]. Chris still believes the word "[[naïve]]" means stupid, and thus hates being called it. Naïve, in simple terms, means "ignorance or gullibility because of a lack of experience." Therefore, this word accurately describes Chris because he doesn't do anything, and because of that he's gullible and ignorant. Another word Chris throws around with wild abandon is "slander." Chris constantly calls his [[ED]] page and the [[CWCki]] slanderous. Slander is defamation. Defamation is the destruction of reputation or character through manipulation of video, photographic, and audio evidence. Libel is like slander, but is defamation through writing.

There's two things wrong with Chris's use of slander. His ED page and the CWCki consist of more written material than videos, photographs and audio, so if it was anything it would be libel. The other is that the ED page and CWCki are neither slander nor libel, because nothing on them is manipulated and everything on them is [[True and Honest|true]], and backed up with evidence [[Honest Content|provided by none other than Chris himself]].

Related to his choice of vocabulary, Chris has an issue with using terms that, while technically meaning similar things, have different tones. This is perhaps most evident in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris uses the term "bearing false witness" multiple times. In the context Chris uses the term, he's simply using it as an alternate way of saying "lying" or "misrepresenting," as the Biblical term is often simplified when explaining the Ten Commandments to children. Chris fails to realize that the term is more or less exclusively associated with the Bible and using it when discussing himself makes the characters sound like they're referring to Chris as their god, although [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|this may have]] [[Ego|been intentional]]. Likewise, Chris has asked people to "not use the Sonichu name in vain"<ref>[[Chris and copyright#Christian's On the Lookout!]]</ref> and the Asperchu characters claim to have been forced to "make a false idol of the [[Liquid Chris|brown-shirted one]]". Again, the use of Biblical terminology makes the whole thing seem even more narcissistic.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim, which does little except to gradually annoy whoever he's addressing. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "[[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up." This clunky phrasing is reiterated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He makes copious usage of his "joke" that "[[Dating Education|Date ed]]" sounds "[[Sonichu 9|dated]]" and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for pairing up all women, "leaving [him] with none to choose from". This repetition is not limited to his written communication; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as having "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," notably in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]]. During the [[2008]] election, Bob joked to Chris that Obama would paint the White House black if he was elected. Chris [[Autism|seemed to take this literally]], incorporated the joke into [[Sonichu 8]], and even got his father to sign the page, and years later, he still occasionally talked about the former President repainting the White House.

Clearly, something about these exact phrases causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. It is tempting to just blame his autism for this repetition, which is likely a factor; however, much like his life in general, not all of his failures at communication can be the product of his autism — other possibilities include that:
* Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so "successfully," he tends to reuse what he knows is (or believes to be) a working formula.
* Chris mistakenly thinks his peculiar constructions are funny and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one original joke]].
* Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones.
* Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases that are collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

====Piecemeal language use====
Chris's phrase usage is a deep-seated issue, to the point that it's almost possible to imagine that he copies all of his phrases from ''somewhere'', even when he has not used the phrase previously. People usually learn idioms from other people when they hear them in an appropriate context, but though Chris may experience such a context, it will often fly straight over his head, and accordingly he has problems fully understanding the meaning of the phrase. Like most of us, he has obviously learned some phrases from the world around him, and he ''sort of'' understands what they mean and ''sort of'' uses them in the correct context. Despite this, it is as if he just learned the phrases, and, like some foreign English student, is making the first awkward steps towards using them properly. Unlike those curious foreigners, however, Chris is not worried about getting punched in the face by the natives for abusing beloved idioms.

To an outside observer, many of Chris's phrases almost always appear out of place and tacked on. This can manifest itself in even very small examples, such as in the video title "[[New Address]]"; the video isn't about any sort of an address change, as the phrase was intended to imply, but rather is an ''address'' to a specific individual, one that is ''newly released''. It is akin to a foreigner opening a phrasebook, finding the entry "New Address," and saying "OK, that is probably close enough--it has 'new' and 'address' in it."

For more blatant examples, in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris continually demands "Legal, Unmark[ed], Non-consecutive" bills to be mailed to him. He probably thinks it's the sort of thing people ''generally'' say when they want cash mailed to them, without realizing that he has picked this expression up from crime fiction where that kind of phrase is said as part of a ransom demand. Also, when listing his definitely ancient television on [[Craigslist]], he demands "CASH ONLY, And Up-Front. $250 or better offer; NO HAGGLE." which doesn't apply at all to something like an old TV, and directly contradicts his very own offer. Regarding "No haggle" or a "better offer," it is clear he has no clue what "haggle" even means. He most likely picked up the jargon from other entries on the site.<ref>See, for example, the note in ''The Big Lebowski'': "WE HAVE BUNNY. GATHER ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN UNMARKED NON-CONSECUTIVE TWENTIES. AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS. NO FUNNY STUFF."</ref>

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. A Facebook status reveals that, through unknown means, he has come to believe that "empirical" means "rejecting scientific methods of knowing," which is more or less the opposite of the word's actual meaning. Since his source for this is listed as Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D., a character in ''{{w|Yellow Submarine (film)|Yellow Submarine}}'', perhaps this odd idea came from content in the [[100 2269|Beatles Edition of ''Rock Band]]''.

He described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5|Mailbag #5]]</ref> — he might have mixed it up with "belligerent," which means "war-like," or "malevolent," an antonym of "benevolent."

Years later, in 2016, Chris further demonstrated his lack of political understanding in a post on 4 December, in which he said that Trump should "advocate the position, and take Pence with him, and let Hillary be President, as it should Very Well Be."<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should advocate the presidency]]</ref> Chris likely has the word ''advocate'' confused with ''abdicate'', which is a term he might have heard in [[Anne Boleyn|British TV shows]] - it is a term typically used in reference to a monarchy.

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he does not really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he does not exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>
* "[[Duck|The shaped OBJECT]] is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Past_Featured_Quotes Past Featured Quotes] on CWCipedia</ref>
* "To perform a Repeated Act is fucktarded."<ref>[[Trollin Train#Nah, dude (Thu 26 Aug 2010 4:55 AM)|Trollin Train]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref name="CWCipedia past featured quotes"/>

The last example illustrates several problems:

* "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris does not understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." He doesn't understand that "pen" could easily be replaced with "pencil" or "keyboard" in the original saying – it's a {{W|metonym|metonym}} for the written word.
* It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." One would think that a pen being permanent makes it more mighty.
* Still, Chris fails at explaining why it is so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with the original phrase — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear to all, probably including Chris himself. Perhaps it's simply another form of [[random-access humor]].

===Literal interpretations===
Chris is unable to interpret the language other people use at any level other than its literal, surface meaning. He misses the deeper meanings of what others are trying to say to him, and cannot interpret abstract thought or sarcasm. This is known as concrete thought, which can be seen as a symptom of autism.

====Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm====
Chris cannot interpret rhetorical comparisons or hyperbole in general. He ignores the point the speaker is trying to make and focuses on the "exact" meaning of the phrases they use. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's Father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's Father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' Don't… Don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's Father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just healthy foods like vegetables (a blatant lie, but that is beside the point). Because he feels threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that Kacey's dad was trying to make gets lost in the sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris reach complete dead ends.

As the quote read in the [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm. Chris is no exception, and he is often unable to pick up sarcastic comments, as seen in the Guru Larry interview.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

====Questions and suggestions====
Chris's literal interpretation also affects how he answers questions and follows orders or suggestions. His answers to questions are always laconic with no elaboration, and cannot distinguish the implied meanings within the commands and suggestions given to him from their literal meanings. For example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag #2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with [[B-Manajerk]]. The previous day, the manager of the [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a [[McDonald's]] at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again." Chris probably took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now," and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology. This seems to seep into his other language use, too — he urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel, for example. This on its own is innocuous, as normal people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations (and for cable/satellite TV stations, which do not have a transmission frequency), but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag #34, to Evan]]</ref> (itself a ripoff of [[Excel Saga|Great Director Watanabe]]) and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|''Sonichu'' Quiz #2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] begins with the "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic more usually seen in a TV series. When talking about the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed the {{w|Federal Communications Commission}} for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag #51]]</ref> even though the FCC has no authority over online or printed media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag #51]]</ref> It is as if he is familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "writers" instead of "directors," "chapters" instead of "episodes," "volumes" instead of "seasons," rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

It is speculated that the use of jargon stems not from a limited vocabulary, but from Chris's belief that he is [[Chris and reality|actually directing a TV show.]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on CWCipedia. "''For the sake of the Comic Pages, the marriage has been keep discreet during drawing, coloring and filimg[''sic''].''"</ref> More damningly, he once referred to the comics as an "anime," with himself as director.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_9 Issue #3 Page 9]</ref>

===Backwards spelling===
Chris also has a habit of [[October 2016 Facebook posts#Sdrawcab|spelling certain words, phrases, or names of people backwards]] in order to emphasize them in a sentence. In Chris's mind, words wield a great deal of power, and spelling a name or word backwards can serve to degrade its subject or indicate that Chris views it negatively.

Notable examples include:

* "[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]" - Chris's doppelgänger in the comics who is his exact opposite, being completely evil and extremely gay.
* "Hslaw Eel Yram" - Chris's reversal of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s name, in one of his custom ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards.
* "Pmurt" - Trump backwards, rhymes with "Hurt." Sometimes the "P" is silent. "[[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|EID PMURT, EID!!!]]"
* "Namgge" - Used by Chris to refer to [[Doctor Robotnik|Eggman]] from Sonic. (Pronounced like "[[TooManyGames#Bowser vs Robotnik panel|Nah, I'm gay]]" with the words [[Speech impediment|slurred together]] a bit.)
* "[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]" ("Love Sonichu and Hate Asperchu" backwards, in leet-speak with a bit of [[Spanish]].)
* "Wem" - [[A Wild Chris-Chan Attempts Human Interaction#Transcript|Used by Chris to refer to the Pokemon Mew.]]
* "Dratsab Gniyarteb" - Calling [[Null]] a "betraying bastard" in his [[Jail Letter - 6 December 2021|jail correspondence]].
* "[[Reeb]]"

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to [[Chris and brand loyalty|cling to trademarks]]. In [[Mailbag 10|Mailbag #10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. In the exact same vein, in [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], he even swears with "hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now," rather than just on ''any'' old Bible he might have had lying around. This can be explained, again, by Chris's autism, where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

He also tends to mix up similar words, for example, the time he confused [[Sonichu's Edge|free-running]] with {{w|Parkay|a brand of butter}}.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; before he assumed he was female, he almost always referred to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he was feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

Chris also has a habit of inventing new words by muddling the tense of existing ones. This often goes along with his previously-mentioned preference for somewhat odd word choices as he tries to force words into sentences they don't belong in. A good example would be be Chris's love of the word "crestfallen" that came about during the [[Sonic Boom Protests]]. While the word usually exists as a adjective, Chris uses it in a baffling progressive tense "to my dismay and crestfall."

==The spoken word==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary. Notice how Chris's most used word is "uh."]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, although that's not really saying much. He claims ad nauseam [[Song of Christian|the first word]] [[Autism Tutorial|he ever spoke]] [[Chris%27s_Wikipedia_profile#His_Early_Years_-_Birth_to_1992|was "monkey"]] at the age of six weeks, which is physically impossible. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uh," "hmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also [[Speech impediment|tends to stutter and repeat himself]].

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the {{w||Game Informer}}.|Chris attempting to convince people that [[Brutal Legend Plus|''Brutal Legend'']] is worthy of a perfect score.}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is [[Random-access humor|trying to be funny]].

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow {{w|R. Kelly}}'s bathroom... [[The Cleveland Show]], new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising.]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[:File:MyMindIsABlank.jpg|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME THE REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit.]]}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|DyTRNU1ym-k}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of [[List of phrases Chris copied from media|short phrases apparently culled from TV]] (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|pCrLyR69cPM}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris seems to have realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated husk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia." This is of course explainable by his autism, but it is also related to his [[Random-access humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|"Smell Yo Duck"]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously nothing more than a comical exaggeration on his part, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a {{w|Synesthesia|synaesthete}}. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word. Alternatively, it is not stating the ''word'' that is disgusting to Chris, but rather the ''substance'' of the phrase, as it implies that ''he himself'' is [[homos|"smelling someone's dick"]], as he has no problem hurling curse words (including "dick") at his enemies when in a [[Chris and anger|fit of rage]].

==Profanity==
: ''See also: [[Chris and censorship]]''

At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly part of an effort by Chris to seem more "adult."

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to sporadically censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash,"<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Bugs_Bunny|BUGS BUNNY]] WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39|Mailbag #39]]</ref> (On occasions he varies up his censorship style. [[CWC's Diary]] repeatedly refers to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as an "[[CWC-isms#X|XXXXX]]"; the X's are clearly meant to stand in for "bitch".) Even relatively mild words such as "damn" and "crap" get the same treatment, which was exploited to hilarious effect in the [[audiobooks]].

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory abounds regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.online/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry Internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

===Virginia is for Virgin Ears===

The usage of profanity, even in private, was illegal in Virginia until 2020. However, this law was seldom enforced. Nowadays, even swearing in public is legal in Virginia.<ref>[https://gardenandgun.com/articles/its-finally-legal-to-curse-in-virginia/]</ref>

However, Virginia law still prohibits the use of profanity over the telephone, airwaves, or other electronic methods, which would include YouTube videos. Much of Chris' output is technically illegal.

Chris hasn't been prosecuted for this, though, and such a prosecution would be flimsy under the First Amendment if it were ever tried in a state or federal high court – state courts have neutered similar laws still on the books in other states (including California, which only enforces its "offensive language" disturbing-the-peace laws when immediate physical violence or physical provocation ensues, even if the profanity occurred in public).

Still, private businesses in any state are free to enforce bans on vulgar language.

==See also==
* [[Speech impediment]]
* [[Chris's resume]]
* [[The High School Story]]
* [[Chris and writing]]
* [[Spanish]]
* Anything written on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia]
* [[Manchester High Leaks#English|Chris's high school English homework]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Chris and}}
{{CWC-isms}}

Adult Swim

2026-05-08T02:30:45Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Other shows */

[[File:Robot_chicken_sonic.jpg|thumb|Chris probably mourned his childhood hero on this ''Robot Chicken'' skit.]]

'''Adult Swim''' is a late-night programming block on the American television channel {{w|Cartoon Network}}, catering primarily to adults age 18-34. Due to [[Chris]]'s [[biological clock]], he would stay up late at night and would frequently watch Adult Swim, especially since it catered to two of his chief interests - [[anime]] and [[random-access humor]]. The name of the block doubles as a [[CWC-ism]], meaning pornographic.

He has also downloaded [[Monthly tugboat|$120 worth]] of episodes from various Adult Swim series since fall [[2009]], through the [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network]].

Owing to his love of Adult Swim, in [[2009]] Chris was discovered on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim message boards]]. He discussed things ranging from ''{{w|Robot Chicken}}'' to his custom [[My Little Pony|ponies]], but later on, the account was hacked by the dang, dirty [[trolls]].

Given that ''[[Sonic Boom]]'' aired on Cartoon Network in the daytime, it was possible that Chris stopped watching Cartoon Network for Adult Swim, and fulfilled his fix for its shows through other means. However, he shared a video of ''The Amazing World of Gumball''--and called out trolls at the same time, natch--on [[Facebook]] in [[January 2015]], meaning that he most likely still watched the network despite their airing of the blue-armed bandit.

==Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law==
{{Main|Harvey Birdman Commercial}}

Chris has always been a fan of ''{{w|Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law}}'', so in [[2005]], he entered a contest in which the participant had to to make a commercial for the first DVD release of the show. Of course, he felt the need to shoehorn in off-topic references about his [[stress|life issues]], similar to his [[Autism Tutorial|his later videos]]. He did not win the competition.

==King of the Hill==
In [[2009]], Chris has imitated the protagonist of the show, Hank Hill, on at least three occasions,<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref><ref>[[CWCFlyingElephants]]</ref> suggesting he has watched the show. Whether Chris actually understands the sarcasm behind the show, much like ''Moral Orel'', has yet to be seen, albeit more likely that he takes it at face value.

In [[August 2025]], he watched all 10 episodes of the show's 14th season, in less than three days after its premiere.<ref>[[August 2025 social media posts#King of the Hill Season 14]]</ref> He then posted about it on [[Bluesky]], praising the season for its continuity and jokes, and saying that he feels it is "great quality." He also revealed that he had "watched the entire first 13 seasons beforehand over the years."

==Moral Orel==
[[File:Moral Orel prince albert.JPG|thumb|right|[[Un-clit|Foreshadowing]].]]

Of interesting note is the show ''{{w|Moral Orel}}'', which is a claymation series mainly focused at deconstructing [[Chris and religion|fundamentalism]], and the merging of church and state, which is common in the Midwestern United States and Bible Belt. It openly criticizes the blind faith and intolerance of many American Christians, and people like Chris are exactly who they are making fun of.

Chris has stated in the [[Mailbag 35|Mailbag]] that he has watched the show, and said it was "okay". It is likely that all of the jokes and truths go right over his head, even obvious ones such as when Orel said "I guess lots of things get misinterpreted and lost in translation" while scratching his head with a Bible. The subtlety and sarcasm is lost on the [[autistic]] mind. He probably didn't like the pilot episode which hinted at a [[homosexual]] relationship between two characters.

==Rick and Morty==
[[File:Addressing the Toxic, Darkest Sinning Minority (27Nov2023).jpg|thumb|400px|]]
On 5 [[June 2018]], [[Count Dankula]] asked Chris how Rick and Morty fit into the universes. Chris replied that it was "beyond [his] knowledge at this point," also answering that he thinks they are being kept out of [[Cwcville]].<ref>[[Count Dankula#Rick and Morty in CWCville (1:00:10-1:01:13)]]</ref>

In [[June 2018]], Chris bought a [[Pickle]] Rick [[Funko Pop]] figure.<ref>http://archive.is/wjOMb Chris's eBay ID is filtered as e***n on feedback pages</ref> Chris also owned a {{w|Mr. Meeseeks}} Funko Pop figure.<ref>[[:File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 06.jpg]]</ref>

On 23 [[August 2018]], while trying to decide on the name of "our sister dimension" (in which fictional characters across most pop culture and fiction reside), Chris said [[Magi-Chan]] has given him the possible names "1672" and "[[C-197]]." Chris added right after that "Rick and Morty visit there and here sometimes, but you know their original dimension is not either of these numbers."<ref>[[August 2018 social media posts#Chris lectures on Dimension C-197]]</ref> On 2 [[September 2018|September]], Chris posted to Twitter to announce that the name of our sister dimension had been "verified" by "a very well-educated and well-read ally of ours, along with Magi-Chan Sonichu" to be C-197 (NOT to be confused with Rick’s home Dimension of C-137 at all).<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts#Chris explains the Dimensions]]</ref>
[[File:OfficialCWCmart - Rick Sanchez - Favorite Character Portraits by JCWCSP1.jpg|thumb|200px|left]]
On 29 [[November 2020]], Chris posted a Wattpad story that mentioned a "Council of the Gods." He also wrote implying that there are "paradox rules" that are not to be broken in dimensions, adding that it is similar to the Council of Ricks.<ref>[[SNT Vs Sonichu 2.5-Plus]]</ref>

On 2 [[December 2020]], Chris mentioned the citadel from Rick and Morty in [[The Place]] Discord server.<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#2 December 2020]]</ref> Four days later, he mentioned Rick and Morty there again.<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#Scheming against Opuscon and his fanfic]]</ref>

On 20 [[April 2021]], Chris replied to a comic by [[Helena]] on Twitter. In the comic, Pickchu and [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] fight {{w|Rick Sanchez}}. Rick ends up getting eaten by someone else, and Pickchu asks Chris Chan Sonichu why she didn't punish him, she replies with "I... might be a liiiiitle bit... powerless." Chris criticized the comic, saying "she would not have just stood there and done nothing," saying it was "DUMB."<ref>[[April 2021 social media posts#Blake and OP psychic]]</ref>

On 19 [[July 2021]], Chris mentioned in [[The Knights of CWC]] [[Discord]] server that he had watched "the new Rick and Morty last night on the Adult Swim app," saying it reminded him of "the hellspawn of Beastly from the [[Care Bears]] series."<ref>[[The Knights of CWC chats (July 2021)#Cards for Null, Convention Details, The Fate of Snoopy-Doo, Care Bears]]</ref>

On 18 [[January 2022]], Chris wrote in a jail letter to [[Kenneth Engelhardt]] that Rick and Morty are in C-197.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 18 January 2022]]</ref>

On 29 [[November 2023]], Chris posted to Twitter to explain a commission he had finished two days prior.<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Family Guy commission]]</ref> The drawing, titled "Addressing the Toxic, Darkest Sinning Minority", depicts Chris, Sonichu, and Pickle Rick at [[Peter Griffin]]'s house, with Peter wearing [[The Classic]] (presumably because he is a part of the Toxic, Darkest Sinning Minority). Pickle Rick's inclusion isn't explained however.

On 11 [[December 2023]], Chris posted to Twitter that Season 7, Episode 9 of Rick and Morty, ''Mort: Ragnarick'' (which premiered the day prior), is "quite accurate."<ref>[[December 2023 social media posts#Rick and Morty-based lore]]</ref>

On 19 [[January 2024]], Chris explained to [[Ren Ryghts]] what will happen to him when the merge comes, saying "With the timing of the Merge's completion, one of you [Ren and his C-197 self-counterpart] will survive the other by that moment. And you will be reincarnated if one of you two is dead and then the other later on." Right after, he added "Simple as that, with the transition point being the dimension point as described in Rick and Morty, season 7."<ref>[[Ren Ryghts DMs]]</ref>

On 16 [[August 2024]], Chris watched the first episode of the Rick and Morty: The Anime.<ref>[[August 2024 social media posts#Rick and Morty anime]]</ref> He posted his thoughts on [[Twitter]], saying the first episode was a dud, but he was still giving the rest of the season a chance. On 6 [[September 2024|September]], Chris posted that he was watching the fourth episode, commenting that he didn't like the new voice actor for {{w|Jerry Smith (Rick and Morty)|Jerry Smith}} because he sounds derpy.<ref>[[September 2024 social media posts#Rick and Morty Anime episode 4]]</ref> On 22 September, Chris posted that he had watched the sixth episode, adding that he felt the series was "catching up with the flow of the original show."<ref>[[September 2024 social media posts#Rick and Morty: the Anime, ep 6]]</ref>

==Other shows==
*''[[Mailbag 44#Business proposal|12 oz. Mouse]]''
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]
*''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|The Boondocks]]
*''[[Random-access humor#Random_Ramblings|The Brak Show]]'' (Posted three lines from an episode in his "[[Random-access humor#Random_ramblings|random ramblings]]")
*''[[Cakefarts|Crayon Shin-Chan]]'' and other assorted [[anime]]
*''[[Family Guy]]'' (aired from 2003 to 2021 and is airing again from 2024 onwards)
*''[[Futurama]]
*''[[Officer Keino|Home Movies]]''
*''[[Tom-tom|Lucy: Daughter of the Devil]]
*''Metalocalypse'' (Dethklok's song "Thunderhorse" appeared on ''[[Guitar Hero]] II'', Chris has mentioned liking it multiple times.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]], [[Discord Q&A 1]]</ref>)
*''[[Chris's Big Night Out II#Chris Needs Females|The Oblongs]]''
*''[[Adult Swim posts#Chris complains about Robot Chicken (February 2005)|Robot Chicken]]
*''[[Smiling Friends]]'' (Chris very nearly had a voice cameo in this show; a later episode also directly referenced the [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] video)
*''[[Sonichu 3|Space Ghost Coast to Coast]]'' (Not only is one of Zorak's chants [[Things Chris has ripped off|stolen]] in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] [[Sonichu 3|3]]'', an ad for the CD ''Space Ghost's Surf & Turf'' appears on the [[KCWC broadcast]])
*''[[Ruckersville, VA|Squidbillies]]'' (this is most likely where he got the name "[[Operation BARBarossa|Fine 'Ol Solution]]")
*''Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!'' (unconfirmed, but very likely, as it is made by the same people who did ''Tom Goes to the Mayor'' and is full of random-access humor)
*''[[CWCville Mayoral Office|Tom Goes to the Mayor]]'' (this is where he stole the idea of having a mayor's office inside [[CWCville Shopping Center|a shopping mall]])
*''Xavier: Renegade Angel''

{{clear}}

==See also==
*[[Adult Swim posts]]
*[[Chris and television]]
*[[Netflix]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Television shows]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Chando Sings!

2026-05-06T06:27:15Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

[[File:Chando Sings!.png|right|300px]]

"'''Chando Sings!'''" is the name of a 23 second video posted to [[YouTube]] on 13 [[September 2008]] by a [[troll]] named [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA-ZjdmL80KqTtOTzaMKzJQ ProjectEmergence].

The short video features a still image of Chris's webcam on [[Skype]] from the same day, with a poor-quality audio recording of Chris singing a "love song" (which the description seemingly implies is directed towards [[Sarah Jackson]]). The screenshot and audio are likely from Chris's first [[Skype]] call with [[Blanca]], which took place on the same day.<ref>[[Blanca Emails, September 2008#Chris suspects Blanca's identity]]</ref> After their call, Chris was now convinced that she was real (seemingly only after hearing her "sweet, nice voice") and he soon made [[Christian's Update 13 September 2008|a video about it]].

For unclear reasons, Chris's [[CChan6789]] account is subscribed to the poster's channel, which has only three other videos on it.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Chando Sings!
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|gWYgIrtRGv4}}
| Stardate = 13 [[September 2008]]
| Featuring =
| Saga = {{Blanca|text}}
}} </center>
===Description===
{{quoteboxred|A love song for his sweetie from "Alabama".}}

===Transcript===
{{transcript}}

{{references}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Christian's Update Sept. 11, 2008]]|nextlink=[[Christian's Update Sept. 13, 2008]]|}}
{{BlancaSaga}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2008]]
[[Category:Blanca Saga videos]]

I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it

2026-05-06T04:16:43Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

'''I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it''' is a video Chris uploaded to YouTube on 1 March 2017 in which he advertises [[stamps]] he inherited from his late father for sale. Though some of Chris's fans saw it as an insult to Bob's legacy, Bob had explicitly given permission to Chris to recycle his inherited collections back into the world for others to use if he didn't want them or had no use for them.<ref>[[Bob's Letters to Chris]]</ref>

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it
| ytid = TqjoIudsaLU
| stardate = 1 March 2017
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Selling Out|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| previous = [[A browsing around an ol' playground]]
| next = [[A little Fluttershy singing (imitation)]]
}}
{{quote|Which from amongst the late Mr. Robert Franklin Chandler Jr's stamp collection will you claim for yourself, if not the entire collection?}}

===Description===
{{quotebox|More out of the collection is being added a bit at a time, so keep watch, and buy what you like for your stamp collection. ;)}}

===Transcript===

[''Shot of some of Bob's stamp collection''] From lots and lots of stamp covers...

[''Jump cut to a different box of Bob's stamps''] ...to everything in organized chaos between six boxes.

[''Another jump cut to a vertically aligned view of the stamp boxes, an anti-shake filter is added to the video''] Which from amongst the late Mr. Robert Franklin Chandler Jr's stamp collection will you claim for yourself, if not the entire collection?

[''Another jump cut to Chris talking to the camera''] I am Miss Christine Chandler, and I'm sellin' Mr. C's stamp collection [[Lie|to try to get more money around here to help pay the bills and everything]]. Let's try to meet the goals, the high goals! So come on down to my stamp shop on [[eBay]]! Or... well, my regular shop, but I'm selling stamps f- it's gonna be a while selling it all. So, c'mon down! Buy whatcha like out of the collection.

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A browsing around an ol' playground]]|nextlink=[[A little Fluttershy singing (imitation)]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2017]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Cheesy!

2026-05-06T01:22:37Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

[[Image:Flipbookcrazy.png|thumb|right|I am NOT Crazy!]]

'''Cheesy!''' is the seventh of [[Chris]]'s [[Flipnote]]s. The animation consists of what is supposedly the character {{w|List of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends characters#Recurring characters|Cheese}} from the animated series ''{{w|Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends}}'' speaking lines of dialogue lifted directly from the show.

At the end of the animation, Chris claims that he is [[Chris and mental healthcare|not crazy]], and that he was only doing this animation for fun. For once, Chris actually admits that something he has done is unoriginal.

What convinced Chris to [[Things Chris has ripped off|blatantly plagiarize]] is relatively unknown. In the original show, Cheese is a character with some sort of [[Slow-in-the-minds|learning disability]] and is used to produce a lot of what Chris would call [[random-access humor]]. It is possible that Chris has based his entire 'sense of humor' around Cheese. The problem is he doesn't get what makes Cheese funny in the first place. Cheese is funny because he's impulsive and lovable, while Chris is not funny because he's uncreative and repellent. It is quite obvious now that Chris is simply trying to copy something that is funny in hope that he somehow becomes funny in the process.

In short, Chris is outdone by a fictional character.

Also of note is that the impression would return almost verbatim in [[Update: 2/25/16|a video uploaded almost six years later.]]

== Video ==
{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = Cheesy!
| ytid = vFmM0ZWJfV4
| stardate = 27 [[June 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}, {{Flipnote|text}}
| previous = [[RandomSong1]]
| next = [[Tagged Flipnote]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

'''Cheese:''' I like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|chocolate milk]]! Tinkle tinkle in the car, you can even use a [[Fapcup|jar]]! Again! I like cereal! Do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again!

'''Writing:''' This was a silly Cheese Bunch from {{w|Craig McCracken}}, and it's only a spot of fun; I am not crazy. C.W.C.

[[Category:Flipnote Hatena|2010-06-27 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, June 2010|2010-06-27 b]]
{{Flipnotes}}

Futurama

2026-04-30T17:57:44Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Stuff Chris stole from this show */

[[File:WorstBrokenHeartEver.jpg|thumb|"[[December 2013 Facebook Posts|Here's to another year in this dead-end life with the worst broken heart ever.]]"]]

'''''Futurama''''' is an animated sci-fi satire created by Matt Groening that originally debuted on Fox in [[1999]]. It was initially cancelled in [[2003]], but it found a second wind through reruns on [[Adult Swim]], and was later revived as a series of direct-to-DVD movies, followed by new seasons on [[South Park|Comedy Central]] and later Hulu.

''Futurama'' was one of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s favorite shows from the Adult Swim lineup, so he occasionally peppered his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] with material from it. While ''Futurama'' can be enjoyed on multiple levels, Chris probably only watched it for the [[random-access humor]] and so he'd [[mass debate]] to the fanservicey characters.

==Stuff Chris stole from this show==
* A common gag in ''Futurama'' is the appearance of 20th- and 21st-century celebrities and other historical figures as cloned disembodied heads sustained in jars of murky fluid. This allows the writers to use guest stars who would otherwise be long-dead in the 31st Century, when the show is set. In ''[[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]]'', Chris battles the evil [[W-M-Manajerk]], who is basically the head of a nondescript man in one of these jars. His jar is mounted atop a powerful robot body, which looks suspiciously similar to one used by Richard Nixon's head in "{{w|A Head in the Polls}}".
[[Image:Manajerks.jpg|thumb|150px|WM Manajerk ready to kick ass.]]
* ''[[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]'' involves time-travel, and so [[Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan Sonichu]] creates a "time-sphere" which looks very much like the one employed in the direct-to-DVD film "Bender's Big Score". In fact, Chris and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] spend their trip backward through time discussing the movie as though it were a scientific treatise on real-life temporal mechanics. The pair also discuss the episode "Roswell That Ends Well," and agree that the two fictional cartoons prove that one cannot alter the past to influence the future. Chris also references the binary code used in the movie to activate the time sphere, although this doesn't appear to be dialogue, or even connected to the plot of the issue.
* As if that weren't bad enough, Chris throws in Bender himself, one of the main characters of ''Futurama'', plunging through the time stream as Chris and the others pass by going the other way.
* Chris badly mimicked [[Wikipedia:Bender (Futurama)|Bender]] in [[Mumble 7]].
* Chris made a gabbled threat against a [[trolls|troll]] named after {{w|Zapp Brannigan}} in [[Rollin' and Trollin']]: "[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: Velour Fog? Zapp Brannigan? What’s the deal with that? I’d punch you in the face like {{w|Turanga Leela|Leela}} does."
* According to the [[CWCipedia]] article on [[Bubbles]], as a Rosey she befriended the merpeople living in the lost city of Atlantis.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20111128031610/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bubbles_Rosechu]</ref> This could be a plagiarism of the Futurama episode ''[[wikipedia:The Deep South (Futurama)|The Deep South]]'', in which the main characters go to Atlanta, now an undersea city populated by merpeople.
* Chris compared himself on 31 December 2013 to Fry on 31 December 1999. Unlike Chris however, Fry actually had a job and was a moderately-functional member of society with a real ex-girlfriend.
* Chris likely copied the line "smoke um peace pipe" from the episode "Where the Buggalo Roam" in his [[Wigwam]] video.
* The episode "Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?" mentions the concept of sex on the [[third date]], which may have reinforced Chris's beliefs regarding its importance.

==References==
<references/>
{{TV}}
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Futurama|Wikipedia article on ''Futurama'']]

[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Un-clit

2026-04-26T17:28:44Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{honest}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|And satisfactory a Tribadism is easy with a piercing on my taint where my clit is, city boy.|Chris bragging about the Un-clit to [[Colin]].<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref>}}

[[File:Tribbing.png|thumb|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT LINK GODDAMN]].]]
[[File:ChristheKarmaHoudini.PNG|thumb|Chris somehow got away with posting a link to a pornographic image.]]

The '''Un-clit''' was what [[Chris]] called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with [[Mia Hamm]]. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobos. The taint is actually one of the most neglected parts of the body, and the most dirty, since it neighbors the anus. Since Chris rarely bathes himself, getting a taint piercing was a disaster waiting to happen.

After a couple of weeks, the piercing began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection." Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a ''safety pin''. This rather predictably resulted in the migration worsening, and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, his body still rejected it and [[Catherine|Catie]] eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether. Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewelry, Chris [[Chris and money|wasted a grand total of about $200]] of his [[monthly tugboat]] on this.

In recent times, Chris has expressed regret for getting it and pins the blame for it on the influence of [[Spirit possession|demonic possession]].<ref>[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]</ref>

==September 18th Facebook Status==
{{quotebox|Well. A whole Half a month without a new update on the trolls' website; I was hoping for longer than that. And I WAS going to make a [[Honest Content|public announcement]] about it anyway. But the cat is out of the bag now.

Anyway, I had something done to me that is Radical, that I did for my Lesbian Soul! I got a new piercing on my taint on Monday the 15th. About where my clitoris would be if I was a woman! It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my un-clit. I am tending to its cleaning personally in Daily Baths or Showers, as well as cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol twice daily.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, with no other outside opinions from anyone, have long been thinking about getting a piercing on my taint, with a steel sphere where my clitoris would be if I was born female, in my Soul identity as a Female and a [[Chris and English|Leabian]], as a fair substitute for that, and to stimulate the woman's clitoris via scissoring, YEARS ago after watching the Lesbian couple Tribbing each other in the soft core porn movie, "The Key to Sex".

And for those who don't know about Tribbing, it is more commonly known as Scissoring, Tribadism is when one woman rubs her vulva against the other woman's vulva, to stimulate each other's clitoris. In fact, there are clits that actually stick out, penetrating the labia and better stimulating the other clitoris. The female bonobo monkeys have long clits, and they trib other female bonobos a LOT of the time.

And to make sure EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ONCE AND FOR ALL: I am a FEMALE, LESBIAN SOUL TRAPPED IN A [[MALE]] BODY. Or to put it another way, I am a LESBIAN TRANSGENDER! I am Seriously Into Women! Males Offend Me, even my own [[duck|Penis]] Totally Grosses Me Out! I am glad that I tuck it underneath my taint, so I do not have to look down at the Ugly Bulge!

I HAVE Come Out as the Lesbian Transgender that I Always Have Been and Ever Will! And for everyone of you Sods who continue to mislabel me as a Homosexual Male, or hint towards anything of that even in distasteful jest, you all can kiss My [[china|Vagina]] Of My Soul!!!

Have a good day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribadism}}

Despite obviously violating the Community Guidelines, as well as being reported by [[Trolls|concerned Facebook users]], Facebook decided that no part of this status was considered pornographic enough to warrant being removed.

Chris appeared to have either gotten very bad advice about caring for his new piercing, or gotten good advice and ignored it. No knowledgeable body piercing provider would suggest cleaning a fresh piercing with rubbing alcohol, which is far too harsh a solvent. Chris's misguided aftercare regimen likely contributed to the piercing's rejection.

==Repiercing the Un-clit==
On 4 [[December 2014]], an update was released on the [[CWCki Forums]] (now [[Kiwi Farms]]) that Chris had re-pierced his taint. The new piercing jewelry was apparently made of gold. <ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-got-his-taint-repierced.6336/ ([https://archive.ph/YR6b5 archive])</ref>

{{quotebox|I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today.}}

{{quotebox|Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either.}}

{{quotebox|I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and safe day.}}

Re-piercing so soon after the first attempt was considered most unwise, as the first migration had had almost no time to heal, and many trolls were concerned that Chris's lack of general hygiene would lead to him risking septicemia.

Five days later, it was revealed that in addition to the new piercing, Chris was wearing a strap-on harness with the dildo removed to conceal his [[duck]] while he wore [[Tomgirl Saga|women's clothing]]. This raised additional concerns about the cleanliness of the pierced region.

==The End of the Un-clit==
{{quote|I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am giving up on that piercing now.|Chris has finally given up on the piercing.}}

A message from Chris leaked on the CWCki Forums on 12 December showed that he had removed the piercing due to the "patch of skin the jewelry was in ... shrinking again" (presumably referring to another migration). He stated he would "giv[e] up" on the Un-Clit.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-un-clit-is-no-more-chris-comes-to-his-senses.6467/ ([https://archive.ph/AhqNq archive])</ref> He was deeply disappointed with this outcome, however, and on [[C-Mas]] [[December 2014|2014]] still hoped that he could receive the gift of a "magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref> Santa seemingly did not oblige him, perhaps prompting Chris's malicious assault of a store employee on [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]].

==...or Is It?==
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}
On 24 [[July 2016]], Chris announced on Facebook that he had "grown labia". At first, people thought, from the pictures Chris helpfully shared, that the migrated skin from his piercing was turning into a wound and/or an abscess. In reality, while attempting D.I.Y. gender transition surgery, '''he had cut his taint open with a knife'''.

==Photos==
{{collapsible
|Not safe for work, life, the faint of heart, or anyone who values their sanity.|<center><gallery>
File:Unclit (NSFL).jpg|The piercing as it originally appeared.
File:Unclit (INFECTED!!!).jpg|The piercing after Chris' body began to reject it.
File:ChrisContraption 02.JPG|The duck strap.
File:ChrisContraption_03.JPG|The duck strap and un-clit, from under Chris.
File:ChrisContraption 05.JPG|The duck strap, from the left.
</gallery></center>}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{CatherineSaga}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-22T09:07:49Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}
{{Incomplete}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

{{quote|There is truly NO Pure Person EVER. You have an imperfection; I have an imperfection; John has an imperfection; EVERYONE has an imperfection.|Chris in the [[Gruppenfuhrer Fegelein chat]]}}

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of. This kind of reasoning is often his first line of defense when criticized

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Regularly shitting your pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>
* Being forbidden from donating blood because of possible imbalances from hormone replacement therapy is "Outright Bogus" because "NOBODY has Perfect Hormone levels".<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Barred from donating blood]]</ref>
* Sperm banks rejecting people for their [[Chris and health|poor health]] is bad since "There is no such thing as a 100% healthy individual with 100% healthy DNA".<ref>[[November 2014 Facebook Posts#The Autism-Discriminating Sperm Bank]]</ref>

(I like to joke that it's surprising he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that [[wikipedia:Most_recent_common_ancestor#TMRCA_of_all_living_humans|all living humans share a common ancestor]], thus making everyone very, very distantly related.)

==Solipsism==
{{quote|I have known ALL of my life I was special for some reason, counting being First-Person Perspective Camera 0000000001|Chris, on [[September 2019 social media posts#Chris ponders why people are fascinated with him|Twitter]]}}
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Chris's depiction of himself among the "sheeple".]]
Chris's egotism is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

==Religion==

Chris treats the religions of the world as an [[Chris and nutrition|all-you-can-eat buffet]] of beliefs to mix and match as he pleases.

===Christianity===

Whenever confronted by people claiming he was doing things in conflict with biblical law, Chris would sometimes claim to believe in the [[wikipedia:Abrogation_of_Old_Covenant_laws|abrogation of the Old Covenant laws]].<ref>[[Common Questions#28 December 2009]], [[Mailbag 20#This will not stop Chris from destroying all the homos in Sonichu 10]]</ref>

===New Age/Esotericism===

with the Akashic Guardian having role of a sort of cosmic Dungeon Master

==References==
<references />

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-22T08:49:13Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Impossibility of perfection */

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-22T08:49:00Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: /* Impossibility of perfection */

{{Essay}}
{{Incomplete}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

{{There is truly NO Pure Person EVER. You have an imperfection; I have an imperfection; John has an imperfection; EVERYONE has an imperfection.|Chris in the [[Gruppenfuhrer Fegelein chat]]}}

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of. This kind of reasoning is often his first line of defense when criticized

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Regularly shitting your pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>
* Being forbidden from donating blood because of possible imbalances from hormone replacement therapy is "Outright Bogus" because "NOBODY has Perfect Hormone levels".<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Barred from donating blood]]</ref>
* Sperm banks rejecting people for their [[Chris and health|poor health]] is bad since "There is no such thing as a 100% healthy individual with 100% healthy DNA".<ref>[[November 2014 Facebook Posts#The Autism-Discriminating Sperm Bank]]</ref>

(I like to joke that it's surprising he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that [[wikipedia:Most_recent_common_ancestor#TMRCA_of_all_living_humans|all living humans share a common ancestor]], thus making everyone very, very distantly related.)

==Solipsism==
{{quote|I have known ALL of my life I was special for some reason, counting being First-Person Perspective Camera 0000000001|Chris, on [[September 2019 social media posts#Chris ponders why people are fascinated with him|Twitter]]}}
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Chris's depiction of himself among the "sheeple".]]
Chris's egotism is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

==References==
<references />

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-22T08:37:14Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}
{{Incomplete}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of. This kind of reasoning is often his first line of defense when criticized

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Regularly shitting your pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>
* Being forbidden from donating blood because of possible imbalances from hormone replacement therapy is "Outright Bogus" because "NOBODY has Perfect Hormone levels".<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Barred from donating blood]]</ref>
* Sperm banks rejecting people for their [[Chris and health|poor health]] is bad since "There is no such thing as a 100% healthy individual with 100% healthy DNA".<ref>[[November 2014 Facebook Posts#The Autism-Discriminating Sperm Bank]]</ref>

(I like to joke that it's surprising he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that [[wikipedia:Most_recent_common_ancestor#TMRCA_of_all_living_humans|all living humans share a common ancestor]], thus making everyone very, very distantly related.)

==Solipsism==
{{quote|I have known ALL of my life I was special for some reason, counting being First-Person Perspective Camera 0000000001|Chris, on [[September 2019 social media posts#Chris ponders why people are fascinated with him|Twitter]]}}
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Chris's depiction of himself among the "sheeple".]]
Chris's egotism is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

==References==
<references />

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-22T08:34:50Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}
{{Incomplete}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of.

first line of defense

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Regularly shitting your pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>
* Being forbidden from donating blood because of possible imbalances from hormone replacement therapy is "Outright Bogus" because "NOBODY has Perfect Hormone levels".<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Barred from donating blood]]</ref>
* Sperm banks rejecting people for their [[Chris and health|poor health]] is bad since "There is no such thing as a 100% healthy individual with 100% healthy DNA".<ref>[[November 2014 Facebook Posts#The Autism-Discriminating Sperm Bank]]</ref>

(I like to joke that it's surprising he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that [[wikipedia:Most_recent_common_ancestor#TMRCA_of_all_living_humans|all living humans share a common ancestor]], thus making everyone very, very distantly related.)

==Solipsism==
{{quote|I have known ALL of my life I was special for some reason, counting being First-Person Perspective Camera 0000000001|Chris, on [[September 2019 social media posts#Chris ponders why people are fascinated with him|Twitter]]}}
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Chris's depiction of himself among the "sheeple".]]
Chris's egotism is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

==References==
<references />

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-22T08:32:23Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}
{{Incomplete}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of.

first line of defense

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Regularly shitting your pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>
* Being forbidden from donating blood because of possible imbalances from hormone replacement therapy is "Outright Bogus" because "NOBODY has Perfect Hormone levels".<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Barred from donating blood]]</ref>
* Sperm banks rejecting people for their [[Chris and health|poor health]] is bad since "There is no such thing as a 100% healthy individual with 100% healthy DNA".<ref>[[November 2014 Facebook Posts#The Autism-Discriminating Sperm Bank]]</ref>

(I'm surprised he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that all humans share a common ancestor, thus making everyone very, very distantly related.)

==Solipsism==
{{quote|I have known ALL of my life I was special for some reason, counting being First-Person Perspective Camera 0000000001|Chris, on [[September 2019 social media posts#Chris ponders why people are fascinated with him|Twitter]]}}
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Chris's depiction of himself among the "sheeple".]]
Chris's egotism is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

==References==
<references />

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-22T08:23:56Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}
{{Incomplete}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of.

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Regularly shitting your pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>
* Being forbidden from donating blood because of possible imbalances from hormone replacement therapy is "Outright Bogus" because "NOBODY has Perfect Hormone levels".<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Barred from donating blood]]</ref>
* Sperm banks rejecting people for their [[Chris and health|poor health]] is bad since "There is no such thing as a 100% healthy individual with 100% healthy DNA".<ref>[[November 2014 Facebook Posts#The Autism-Discriminating Sperm Bank]]</ref>

(I'm surprised he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that all humans share a common ancestor, thus making everyone very, very distantly related.)

==Solipsism==
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Chris's depiction of himself among the "sheeple".]]
Chris's egotism is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

==References==
<references />

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-21T12:03:32Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-21T12:00:00Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: that comment is a joke. i know he's dumb as shit (also i don't think you're supposed to edit people's user pages)

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Parenting

2026-04-21T02:56:22Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Notice|Sorry for this being so disjointed and fragmentary. I swear I have a concrete idea for this article, but I've mostly written down stuff here that I can source since I'm a bit of a stickler for that stuff. My current plan is to get as much concrete info I can so I have a good basis for inference.}}
{{Incomplete}}
{{quote|It's nice to have kids.|Borb's rationale for having children, as told to Chris for a [[Manchester_High_Leaks#Parenting_Interview|high-school assignment]].}}
[[Image:0617-AMom&DadMoment.jpg|thumb|]]

Bob and Barb's (often collectively referred to as "Borb" by trolls and observers) '''parenting''' of Chris is an important factor in how he ended up the way he did.

==Borb and their previous children==

===Cole===

{{quote|I have everything that I have ever wanted except a mother's love.|Cole Smithey}}

Cole claimed his opinion of her deteriorated due to her dishonesty about the identity of his biological father and the influence of her husband, saying he had "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob"

Barb believes Cole's bitterness towards her is rooted in rumors from nefarious family members and brain damage from a head injury he suffered as a child.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 27]], [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]], [[Cousin Al#Bowling Outing]]</ref>

taking note of how he had gone out of his way to visit her on several occasions while she had only visited him once

===Carol and David Alan===
{{Notice|There could be more info from Bob about his parenting in some of the recently rediscovered phone calls.}}
Unlike Cole, neither of Bob's previous biological children have ever divulged information about their childhoods. Nevertheless, some details can be gleaned from other sources.

said he "no friendship" from them in 1979 in [[Bob's_Letters_to_Chris#Open_Letter_-_December_26th,_1987|his first letter to Chris]]

Carol was, for whatever reason, distant enough to not attend his funeral

==Bob and Chris==
[[Image:0756-Christmas15.jpg|thumb|]]

Bob has generally been seen as the better of Chris's parents by onlookers, though this may be damning him with faint praise.

several well-known instances of him taking a firmer hand in dealing with Chris

Chris often had trouble getting along with his father and would claim Bob was prone to starting "more arguments than flies in a garbage dump" ([[Chris and English|almost always with that exact or very similar wording]]).<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]], [[IRC (20 January 2009)]], [[Mumble 1]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]], [[Father Call#Kacey Returns (58:09-1:02:35)]], [[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>

Chris admitted to sometimes lying to his father to get him off his back<ref>[[Mailbag 25#In which Chris admits he lied to Bob]]</ref>

==Barb and Chris==
[[Image:0614-Mom&Christian.jpg|thumb|]]

Barb was the parent Chris was closer to (too close, as it ended up being)

===After Bob's death===

[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Barb and Chris]]

Barb grew increasingly reliant on him running errands and doing chores for her, leading [[Marvin]] to describe Chris as her "hand servant".

scared of her despite her advanced age

==Traits of Borb's parenting==

===Coddling===

===Protectiveness===

==Phases of parenting==

===Early childhood (1982 – 198?)===

Cole alleged that Borb would regularly leave Chris alone in the care of an 'unfit babysitter'

==References==
<references/>

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Management

2026-04-21T02:56:13Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}
{{Incomplete}}
{{Notice|This is just some half-baked idea I've had for a while that I felt like writing down.}}

Chris doesn't usually get into the wacky antics we're used to without some sort of '''management''' by people behind the scenes posing as friends, business partners, or other figures telling him what to do.

==The Miscreants (c. January 2009 – September 2011)==

Key to their tight grip on Chris were their 'friend trolls', the best known of which being "Kimily" and Kacey.

==Lady Managers (c. November 2015 – July 2016)==

==Idea Guys (October 2017 – April 2018)==

==Guard Dogs (April 2018 – November 2018)==

==The "Watchmen" and off-shoots==

==Praetor (2023 – present)==

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-21T02:56:00Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman: would be wise to add these to these pages while they're still in this state

Sonichu the Animated Series

2026-04-15T02:23:28Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Disambiguation}}

'''Sonichu the Animated Series''' may refer to:

*'''''[[Sonichu the Animated Series (Spazkid)]]''''', a 2009-10 animated series [[parody]]ing Chris's ''Sonichu'' comic
*'''''[[Sonichu: The Animated Series (Geno Samuel)]]''''', an unfinished 2025 animated series cancelled for infringing on Chris's ''Sonichu'' comic

Reggie Fils-Aimé

2026-04-15T02:10:10Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Troll}}
{{quote|I saw Miyamoto waiting for up to 2 days in the bitter cold for you to show up and you stood him up. I was even there trying to arrange everything for you, even setting up someone to escort you to our building complete with bodyguards and full security because I knew you were concerned about safety. And for what? So you could just NOT show up? I mean, I don't even know what to think, it's just completely unbelievable.|Reggie on Chris}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Infobox Person
|image = Reginald Fils-Aime.jpg
|title = Reggie Fils-Aimé
|name = Reginald Fils-Aimé
|gender = Male
|day = 25
|month = 3
|year = 1961
|aliases = The Regginator
|race = Black
|nationality = [[American]]
|occupation = President of Nintendo of America (2006-2019) Troll
|saga = {{saga|miyamoto|cn}}
}}

'''[[Reginald]] "Reggie" Fils-Aimé''' ({{IPA|[ˈfiːzɛmeɪ]}}) is an American businessman who was the former chief operating officer and the president of [[Nintendo]] of [[United States of America|America]] and colleague of [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]. He is also an opponent of "true love" and possibly a [[virgin with rage|virgin]], according to [[Chris]].

Chris's contact with Reggie formed the second stage of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], beginning after Chris failed to make it to Redmond and no-showed his planned face-to-face meeting with Miyamoto towards the end of [[January 2009]]. Never one to mince words, Reggie gave Chris a tough but fair assessment of his personal life and his potential as a top-flight [[video game]] designer. Chris reacted poorly, accusing Reggie of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] because of his [[autism]], comparing him to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and eventually throwing an unrestrained tantrum after Reggie bluntly told him that their collaboration was over.

Chris [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|threatened]] to take Reggie and Miyamoto to [[Charlottesville]] court before going back on his word and BAWWWWing to them in an [[CWC Update 31 January 2009|apology video]].

Reggie's most recent video game, ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' for the [[Nintendo Switch]], will be given a remaster for the Switch 2. [[Jimmy Hill]], meanwhile, currently owns the European and Japanese gaming rights to Sonichu.

==Fils-Aimé Saga==
[[Image:ReggieAndChris.jpg|thumb|left|Separated at birth?]]
On 26 [[January 2009]], Chris released a [[CWC Update 26 January 2009|video]] wherein he claimed that he had been to [[Redmond]] to visit Shigeru Miyamoto and begin working on a [[The Sonichu Chronicles|Sonichu video game project]]. This, of course, was a [[lie]]. As a result of Chris's failure to make his appointment with Miyamoto, Reggie began communicating with Chris two days later, and their conversation continued through the first week or so of February.
{{clear}}

{{quoteboxred|'''Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America''' from '''Reggie Fils-Aimé''' to '''Chris''' on 28 January 2009 1:16 AM
----

But right now, I'm just strictly Reggie. I'm not going to even bother sending this through my Nintendo email address. Because you know what? This isn't business. This is strictly personal. I have something to say to you, and you need to listen. This has nothing to do with Nintendo right now, this is just me and you. Mano e mano. Man to man. I don't normally do this, but hell, I just need to get this off my chest.

If you don't know who I am, then allow me to introduce myself. My name is Reggie Fils-Aime. I've been kicking ass and taking names ever since the E3 expo at [[2004]] where I made my debut, where from then on I eventually earned my position as president of this company.

I'm known to be a loud mouth. I don't take crap from anyone. So if you are easily offended, I suggest you stop reading. But don't worry, I'll try to go easy on you, key word being "try" here.

But with that out of the way, I just want to say something to you personally.

May I kindly ask, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you for real or what? I was there for everything. I saw Miyamoto waiting for up to 2 days in the bitter cold for you to show up and you stood him up. I was even there trying to arrange everything for you, even setting up someone to escort you to our building complete with bodyguards and full security because I knew you were concerned about safety. And for what? So you could just NOT show up? I mean, I don't even know what to think, it's just completely unbelievable.

I'm sorry but it just is. I heard what you said to Mr Miyamoto too, your reasons for not coming. And I just have to say. How old are you? You're 27, if I'm not mistaken right?

27! I mean, think about it, you are almost 30! What is a man of your age still doing being coddled by his parents? Let me tell you, when I was about your age, I was already married and had children!

Your autism isn't an excuse either. I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.

That right there is what made it pretty clear that there is no chance in hell you're going to get anywhere with this project. Nevermind the fact that your parents didn't want you to go (or that you still have to get your parents permission at your age).

Think about what happened if you did go, and you had to ask mommy and daddy for an OK on everything? Imagine what a complete disaster that would be. I mean, listen. Simply put, you are not fit to do business with us as you are not even in a position where you can make your own decisions, which is vital to survive in the workplace, and even life in general.

I mean, seriously, who the hell were we talking to? I don't know about you. But this deal was about Nintendo and you. This was not the deal between Nintendo and the parents of Christian Weston Chandler.

I'm sorry, but provided that this whole thing you pulled on us wasn't an elaborate prank, this project was doomed from the start. It's just completely ridiculous. It is impossible for anyone to do business with someone who still has to rely on their parents to make their decisions.

Right now, I don't see how anything good could come from any of this. The only way I could even see this going anywhere is if you were to somehow learn to become independent, like a person of your age should be, and try to do something so that you don't rely on your parents to decide things for you.

But I don't see that happening ever in the near future (nor is it really my job to even have to tell you this). And because of that, I don't see how you'll ever be able to do business with us.

And you know what? I'll just leave it at that. Also, forget recieving a letter from us (and for what? So your parents can read it out loud to you? For Christ sake). This whole thing is through.

Our company will gladly deal with people who are up to the task. But we cannot waste valuable time and money on children who have no means of actually doing their part (their part, as in not their parents but "their part") to cooeprate with us.

Sorry for the rant, but you've wasted so much of our time, money and effort that I had to personally do what I'm known for, and that is kicking ass and taking names.

I always tell it like it is, and I'll be damned if I ever change that. So consider this as the final notice, this whole thing is through. It was through as soon as you made it clear that you are not mature enough to do business with us.

Other than that, I have nothing more to add. Please feel free to complain about me not being professional, I get that all the time. But nobody ever doubts my ability to tell people the things they need to hear. And what I just told you is nothing but that.

Sincerely,

The man who has been kicking ass and taking names since [[2004]].

Reggie Fils-Aime
 President
 Nintendo of America}}

{{quotebox|Well, it is good to make your acquaintance, Reggie. I have viewed your [[Wikipedia:Wii Music|WiiMusic]] Tip Video on my Wii recently, and your introduction basically expanded my knowledge of you personally. Allow me to offer my congratulations on you becoming President of N.O.A.; last I heard, from snail-mail exchange, y'all had a woman for a president (I can't recall her name at the moment), so for my knowledge now. :)

In response to your message, let me say that I deserved that; it was as shocking as Mr. Resetti in [[Animal Crossing]], but in the sense of personally expressing yourself, I mean the comparison as genuinely a positive compliment.

I feel Truly, Deepest Sorry for missing the appointment; I have made the mistake of not being clear in the fact of my being unable to make the trip, and trying to compensate with sending myself via snail-mail (in a sense). As much as it was due to the lack of support from my family, I Could Not afford the Travel Fare to [[Redmond]] in the first place. I am considered compusive with handling money, and since the first notice of the business between me and Mr. Miyamoto came up Mid-January, I felt like I was "[[Bob walks in|caught with my pants down]]". I had spent my last amount of money from [[Monthly tugboat|my Social]] that I get every month to pay rent to my family, make payments on my Credit Card Bills, and even after that, I would have had only a hundred or so left over, and I had already compulsively spent that on the day I got the money on a couple of games. I feel at fault for not controling my compulsiveness enough to save a hundred at a time months before.

Then there is the mixture of Ligitimate business e-mail, from you all for example, and e-mails from [[Internet]] [[Trolls]]/Bullies/[[Impostor]]s, and among the chaos and confusion, I felt out of sorts, even the moments when I felt calmed down after a time from the stress. And my mother and father felt at unease amongst that confusion as well. Even when I put it up to my friends at my church; the same thing; they thought I was talking to an impostor, posing as Mr. Miyamoto. But after I received the automated e-mail from donotreply@noa.nintendo.com verifying Mr. Miyamoto's e-mail address as legitimate, I felt MOST Confident that I was dealing with the real Miyamoto. And yet, even after presenting the printout of that e-mail, everyone was still in doubt.

I have made great effort to seek local aid to fund me for the trip to Redmond, but unfortunately, I failed. It was heavily advised that I have the business between me and Miyamoto hand-written on Paper sent to me to present to my Attorney. Also, considering the rumors were Flying Heavily among the Internet Troll Population, if I had made the trip, I felt I might have been heavily physically harmed by those [[Death threats|vicious people]].

I will not disagree with the accusations of my emotions. Even though my family are of Great Business Expierences (let me also mention that my father, Mr. [[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]], while working at G.E. ([[Wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]]) has designed the Controls for the Plastic Molding Machines, so without him, we would not have anything Plastic as simple as a Funnel, or even the casing for the NES), I feel that I personally lack heavy business expierences that I would require. Due to my mental block, I feel that I would require someone to speak for me in the beginning of a Heavy amount of Business. They also gave me a small amount of the words that were typed to Mr. Miyamoto, especially the requests for the advance in travel fare so I could have made the trip. While [[Chris and money|I personally understand the economical situations]] prohibiting the advance, my family, as well as the Majority of my Church's Congregation, disagree. With that one bit of green absent from being advanced, it set the Ground for the locally popular disbelief in my talking to Mr. Miyamoto.

If I did have the money advanced to me for the trip, my [[Mother|escort]] and I would have Most Definitely made the flight.

Believe me, I have been feeling the worst stress from my being unable to afford the trip, my attempt to compensate with the CD-R and DVD-R failing badly, having to cover-up in online discussions for my family and local friends' HUGE concern for my safety and health, and worst of all the shame I feel from all the stress.

I sincerely meant no harm, hostile behavior, or anything major like that from the words I have spoken, written and typed so far in this business transaction.

I Truly Want to Continue with the Sonichu Projects, because I require a brighter future to set me in good standings with my future wife and my future daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (God promised her to me in a multiple of [[Dreams]]). So, I respectfully ask you to NOT Cancel it. With the Paper Documents Snail-Mailed to me, my efforts to save money for the trip, convincing my family, friends and attorney, getting my act well-prepared and well-together, and my Female [[Sweetheart]] by my side (she's [[PandaHalo|on her way to me from Australia]]), I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], will Truly Feel that I can Tackle the Project Head-On.

I appreciate your time and paitence, Reggie. And I have offered my deepest apologies to Mr. Miyamoto, as well as the Powerpoint Project and my [[CADD]] Plans for the [[Cwcville Shopping Center]] in two e-mails just recently.

Peace and Best Wishes, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
[[14 Branchland Ct.]] 
[[Ruckersville]], [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545 
(434)-990-0198 
Wii Number: 8626-5211-8387-4771 (Wii-Speak Capable) 
[[PSN]] ID: Sonichu ([[PSEye]] Capable)}}

{{quoteboxred|Listen, kid. I apologize for yelling at you, but if you know me, I am a guy who doesn't pull his punches. Let me tell you. They call me the most feared man in the game's industry, the "man who kicks ass and takes names." That Mr. Resetti comparison was kind of accurate actually. I guess I do deserve that title.

But I just have to be honest with you. I don't think you're ready for any of this. You seem to have a lot of issues in your life that you need to take care of before you can do business with anyone. I think right now Nintendo is the LEAST of your worries.

I mean, compulsive spending, severe paranoia, friends and family who do not trust you, you having to get their permission to do anything despite almost being 30, relying on social security and taxpayer money to survive, and the list goes on and on.

I'm sure if you had a job, didn't live with your parents, and were a self made man like a person of your age ought to be, you'd have no problem making it here.

But from what you're telling me, you've got a lot of issues and things to take care of in your life before you could ever reach such a state, and I wonder right now if I'm asking for the impossible right now.

Until then, I don't see how this could go anywhere. We've wasted so much time and money on this project only to find out that the man we're dealing with still is being coddled by his parents and doesn't even have a job or money of his own (taxpayer social security money issued to you for food/clothing doesn't count, which you shouldn't be spending on games anyway) or anything of that sort to even come through with this.

That is why I'm so frustrated with any of this. It's just so ridiculous. I've never seen anything like it. I thought we were dealing with a grown man, a self made man who could make his own decisions and come through with this. But what you've shown us is anything but that.

Sort out your own life first. Don't worry about Nintendo. Maybe once you finally grow up to be independent, sort out all the things preventing you from coming, and maybe even be able to make your own decisions and in life, then maybe at that point we'll be able to do business with each other.

But until then, I doubt we'll see anything come out of this. And even if it does work out at the moment, I can't imagine you being anything other than a huge liability for us. Being an independent person who can make his or her own decisions is paramount to survive in the business world, especially in the games industry. We don't have time to babysit you. While it may seem like all fun and games, this is a business for adults, not people who still depend on their parents to survive.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|I understand what you're telling me, Reggie.

But with statements like, " this is a business for adults, not people who still depend on their parents to survive," it makes me feel like I am being [[Kick the Autistic|discriminated against]]. I'm not one to judge, and I am capable of making my own [[The MovingFoward videos|sound decisions]] [[Attraction sign|in life]] [[Recycling|when it comes]] [[List of places that have banned Chris|down to it]]. My mind kinda rolled along with the moment, but the point is the discriminating statement pretty much.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Yeah, but you have to understand. I don't understand how you're going to do anything, when you don't even have your own life sorted out.

You're not being discriminated against. I'm just saying that you're clearly not cut out for this. How can you expect to lead a project when you cannot even lead your own life?

You have problems with your family, you depend on social security (which you use for games instead of your own needs), you seem to be completely paranoid and above all else, I don't see you making a single sound decision on your own. It seems to be that you're still being raised by your parents. We were under the impression that we were making a deal with an accomplished comic book artist, but instead you show us that you're inconsiderate, you lack any sort of independence or maturity, and above all else, you seem like the kind of person that would be a liability for our company.

To me, it doesn't seem like you need a video game. It seems like you need to sort out your own life before you try to get involved with something like this, which to me, you don't seem to be cut out for at all.

Mr. Miyamoto has requested that I let him talk to you and that I try to hold back and be a bit more polite, but even he admits that it is very hard considering all you've made us go through recently.

I have very little hope for this project at this point and I don't see what the hell is the point of doing any of this anymore. This is a bridge to nowhere. I'm going to either have to decide to step in and stop it myself, or either that just sit back and watch it fail anyway since I don't see how this has any chance of becoming anything.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|'''Re: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America'''
----

I see your point, Reggie, but YOU DID NOT HAVE TO CANCEL THE PROJECT INDEFINITELY! I mean, after I get things settled on my end, and when I have the [[monthly tugboat|funds]] to make the trip to Redmond, it would feel much beneficial to me to know that the Window is still OPEN for me. What I'm hearing here is that you've CLOSED the Window and sealed it with Concrete!

[[Chris and negotiation|I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT!]]

I apologize for coming off strong, but the objectionable feeling is True to me at the moment, and I would appreciate it if you would Re-Open the Window for me, and UNSEAL the Window, so I can still have the opportunity open for me. I will need a financial setting with a good job for when I have my family and individuality set, and I personally feel it BEST if I still had the opportunity to Work with Nintendo and [[Sega]] to bring my Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] to life in the Video Game World.

Please let me know that this Same Window of Opportunity will remain open for me. And if it helps better my case, I recently won a 400 dollar [[Gamestop]] Gift Card from the [[Guitar Hero Be A Star Sweepstakes]] and received it in the FedEx; I spent 3/4 of the card on my Church's Congregation, and those who requested a game from the card; the Majority of them asked for Wii Titles; Two asked for WiiMusic, and one of those two also got a copy of Animal Crossing City Folk With the WiiSpeak. And I ended using the rest for myself on Super Mario Galaxy, WiiMusic, LoZ: Twilight Princess, [[Sonic]] Riders: Zero Gravity, ALL FOR NINTENDO Wii, and a WiiSpeak. And I still have a [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase|HEAVY Positive and Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fanbase;]] You All at Nintendo will STILL be able to Gain More Money off of my Sonichu and Rosechu, especially when in the near future I will be most capable of flying to Redmond, meet with you and Mr. Miyamoto, and get this "Mario Party" Started.

Please reply with your contact information, including phone number, so I can contact you in the near future, when I TRULY WILL be ready. My Mind is SET on this, and I feel I can be Ready as early as the end of [[2009]]. You have my word as an Avid Gamer, [[Messiah complex|Lamb of God]], and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America'''
----

We're not interested in your project. I've seen [[Sonichu Powerpoint|the powerpoint]]. Apart from the fact that you are unable to manage for yourself, the powerpoint really was the final straw. It was filled with gratuitous and shameless drawings with every other frame showing some form of partial nudity or characters making out with each other.

I cannot even fathom how you managed to think that would be a good idea.

Not only that, you keep mentioning [[Sony]], which you should know is the bitter rival of Nintendo and our mortal enemy. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but in every presentation I have given, whenever I mention kicking some behind, it's always directed to Sony. If you knew anything about our company, that would have been completely obvious.

But those are all moot points compared to the fact that you have demonstrated that you are not cut out for this kind of work and that your actions and mode of behavior would be a total liability for our company.

This decision is final. We are not going to do business with you and that is all. Sort out your own life. We cannot help you.

This is it. Do not email me or beg me for anything else. This is final. I cannot stress that enough. And if you do email me again, I will just repeat myself over and over. This whole thing is over. Goodbye.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|'''Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu'''
----

The LAST thing I need to feel is feeling like I've been Left within a tiny piece of shelfspace to collect dust and be forgotten.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu'''
----

Actually I think it's for the better. Maybe you can learn something out of this whole exchange.

But other than that, there is nothing more I can say or do for you. I'd appreciate it if you stopped emailing me now and maybe instead took some time to reflect on how this went wrong on your part. But this whole thing is finalized and done, and I cannot help you nor do I have the time to keep sending you emails when we have no official business with each other.}}

{{quotebox|'''One last thing'''
----

I still would deeply appreciate a document of the past business words, aggrements and all that from between me, Mr. [[Miyamoto]] and you, Reggie, snail-mailed to my home address I've previously provided to you, for my personal records and future references, Please.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: One last thing'''
----

It's not going to happen, pal. This is final. Don't take this personally.}}

{{quotebox|'''"Reply to your Reply"'''
----

Let me just say a few more things, and then I'll stop e-mailing you for a long while. There was Positively NO NUDITY at all in the Powerpoint Presentation. And What the heck is WRONG with True [[Love]] and Kissing? [[Christian Weston Chandler|Are you a Virgin yourself? Have you had a BUNCH of Bad Dates? Or are you soo Closed-Minded and Rednecked?]] I gave you respect after seeing you in that video on my Wii, yet you tell me that True Love is WRONG? You are just as bad or WORSE than the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Real-Life Mary Lee Walsh]], or as she is known as in the [[Comic]]s now, Slaweel Ryam.

I pity you if you've had your share of Bad Luck in True Love, yet at this point, you have just Lost My Respect.

True Love is a Truly Sacred Bond between WOMAN and MAN, and when they are together, they get attracted to each other very much to Kiss and later Make Love. [[Chris and Religion|GOD and JESUS WANTS US ALL TO EXPERIENCE and SHARE True, Straight LOVE!]] THERE IS NOTHING OBJECTIONABLE FROM THAT! I am a man who stand for [[China|True Love and Honesty]], in comics AND in Real Life, although I am still a Frustrated [[Virgin with Rage|Virgin with Autisim]] on the side. [[Chris and his Ego|AT LEAST I AM MAKING A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN KEEPING TRUE LOVE BETWEEN ONLY WOMAN AND MAN IN MY ACTIONS.]] On a Side-Note, I DESPISE ALL [[homos|HOMOSEXUAL MALES,]] PERIOD!

ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY [[Tobacky|SMOKE]] AND [[Chris and Hypocrisy|DRINK]], don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO [[Chris and Death|DEATH]] WITH [[Chris and Health|CANCER,]] LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND [[6 June 2010|AUTOMOBILE]] [[28 October 2011| ACCIDENTS]]. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND [[rule 34|GROSS]] AND [[nudes|DISGUSTING!]]

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Forgive me for raising my voice very loudly, but to ENCOURAGE the True, Straight Love that you obviously OBJECT, I felt it was Required and Necessary. [[Random Access Humour|I can be a "Resetti" too, Mr. Resetti.]]

Peace-Out, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|There wasn't. I never said there was. You assume too much and are way too paranoid about things, this is why I don't want to deal with you. Imagine if you were to flip out on someone while in the workplace like this? It'd be a complete PR disaster.

But I never said nudity or implied anything about your characters sexual preferences.

What I was referring to what the panty shot of Rosechu in one of the first frames. Then you show two characters in bed making love to each other.

Just what the hell kind of game did you want Nintendo to make?

Nintendo has always been in the business of making games for the whole family. That includes children. That is why you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you've shown that you're unable to do so.

Your mind seems too wired on other things. Your head seems to be in the clouds and you don't even know the first thing about being appropriate or tasteful. Did you think this game proposal would even be able to pass through the [[Wikipedia:Entertainment Software Rating Board|ESRB]]?

You know nothing about how the industry works. About things such as company reputation, age appropriate content or content that won't get shot down by the ESRB (look at the whole "[[Wikipedia:Hot Coffee minigame controversy|Hot Coffee]]" GTA scandal for example). You just think you can do whatever you want and hope it flies.

Also from what I recall, you sent drawn pornography drawn in colored pencil/marker to Mr. Miyamoto TWICE. Imagine if you did this to someone in a business situation. Do you want me to hire you when you are such a loose cannon?

It's not possible. I can't risk having such a huge liability. And in fact, your behavior is the reason I've decided to remove you indefinitely from Nintendo, and I hope that someday you get your act together (which I don't see happening any time soon).

But until then, this project is over and gone for good. If anything was the last straw, it was this email. I don't have time to fight with you, you are completely unstable, irresponsible and the kind of person who would probably flip out or even hurt someone if he were to put in the workplace.

I'm glad you made that video and cleared everything up. But now, just leave me alone. I'm not going to even bother replying back after this, or if you keep this up.

Also, by the way. You didn't spell your name right at the end of the power point. You wrote it as "ChriSTAIN." That would be grounds for any potential employer to not hire someone. In addition to the behavior you've just displayed and the type of proposal you tried to make, the last thing we need is someone who can't even spell his own name.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|Well, the game would not Constantly revolve around the Background Romance; it's called a "Happy Ending".

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|It's not something you show in a business proposal. There is a time and place for everything. But I don't understand why I have to tell this to you.

Either way, it's all over now and I don't want to deal with you anymore. I hope that someday someone takes you to seek consoling or behavioral therapy, and that you someday are able to manage on your own, because I don't have time to listen or try to help you as that is not my job.

Please leave me alone and I hope for the best.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quoteboxred|No means No, Chris.

Yeah, I saw your latest video there. I still don't think you get it.

The project cancellation was already signed into effect. There is nothing that can be done now. It is over.

You have no excuses. Your autism is not an excuse.

In fact, I cannot believe you for saying that. You continue to use your autism as a crutch and then continue to blame everything on it.

STOP!

Let me tell you right now, there is a difference between autism and pure irresponsibility/laziness. You are the latter, my friend, not the former.

Didn't I tell you that I once raised a son with autism? He had it much worse than you did. But guess what? He has a job, he is going to [[college]], and he sure as hell doesn't live in my house. He is able to manage for himself and I NEVER have to make any of his decisions for him.

What is the difference between you and him? I'll tell you, my son isn't lazy. He doesn't expect everyone just to give him everything. He knows that if he wants something, he has to work for it. And when he messes up, he doesn't blame his autism or people on the internet or anything else, he is able to know when he messed up and he takes responsibility for his own actions. And as a result he is a much better person for it.

You even try to blame me for "discriminating." That's complete malarkey. I've employed several people with autism, and even worse disabilities than you have.

But the thing is, those people are hard working and responsible. They want to work hard and they don't expect me to hold their hand and give them everything. And for one thing, they sure as hell don't still live with their parents at the age of 27.

You have demonstrated that you cannot get your act together and that you always want to put the blame on something else, whether it's autism, or even other people.

Pardon my [[Wikipedia:French language|french]], but that's bullshit. And whether you like it or not, that shit will never fly with me. That is why I am not going to have any part in your project and you're not going to be hired by us.

There is no excuse for your actions. You can give whatever excuse you want, but in the end it all comes down to you. Either learn how to take blame for yourself for when you mess up or don't even bother.

But either way, I want nothing to do with you because you've done so much to make me angry that I don't even know why I am still talking to you anymore. Just put a lid on it and go away.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|You can blame my constant NON-Acceptance of Cancelation to my [[Slow-in-the-mind|Red-Necked Personality Trait]] I picked up from my [[mother]].

I will NEVER accept a Cancel on the Project; it's Pigeonhole until I can make it or Continuation ONLY.

And, for the last time, I AM NOT LAZY!

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Accept it, because it already happened and now you're just wasting my time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Also stop blaming other people (or anything else) for your things that are your own fault. Taking responsibility for your actions is the first step to becoming a mature, more independant ''[sic]'' person who can manage for himself. You are acting like a spoiled little child right now.

And yes, not wanting to admit that you did anything wrong or always putting the blame on someone else so you don't have to take responsibility for it is indeed a sign of laziness and immaturity.

But why am I telling you this? It's useless. I can't seem to get through to you. You never even listen. Whatever I say goes from one ear out the other as you try to make up yet another excuse, over and over again.

There is no excuse you can make now though. The project was canceled and has been canceled indefinitely for a while now.

I am not going to even bother replying after this. Make up whatever excuse you want, resort to your same BS and blame everyone else but yourself, I don't care anymore.}}

{{quotebox|Well, I WILL continue to Haunt, Pester and Bother you until the project becomes Uncancelled and Shelved for until I AM ABLE to make the trip. I will Haunt Your [[Dreams]], with [[God]] by my side helping me to do that.

And if you do not like it, well I Triple-[[Patti Chandler|Dog]] Dare you AND Mr. Miyamoto to come to my house in [[Virginia]] Yourselves, talk to me and my family, and settle the matter like it should have been, have I been able to AFFORD to make the trip in the first place. Or, you all can very well bring me, my family and friends to [[Charlottesville|Charlotesville]], Virginia Court to settle this under a court of law. I have a SLEW of friends and family who will help me in court, and even define my own personal character as a humble human being.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dare us? That doesn't make any sense. Why should we come to your house? For one, we have no business with you now, and even if we did, you'd still have to make an appointment and come to our office.

But it's too late for that. We've already found someone who knows how to take responsibility for himself and conduct himself in an appropriate matter, and we're giving the project over to him.

He calls himself [[Clyde Cash]]. He's a real stand up guy. Unlike you, he took the initiative to not only to schedule an appointment with us and arrive on time (exactly on time, right at the very second), but also showed us the utmost respect and humility. Not once did he ever lash out at us, or harass us like you have done so far.

Not only that, he showed us that he can take care of himself, he has the leadership qualities we look for in an employee of this company.

He is a self made man with a honest hard working job, two degrees in things actually relevant to our business (one in game design, the other in fine arts, both from prestigious universities, and apparently he has degrees in many other things, he's a real a jack of all trades) and he even plans on getting married and having a child soon (he showed me a picture of him standing together with his future wife, [[Sarah]]. They make a good couple).

I don't understand why you couldn't be more like this guy? I mean, he came here on time, he didn't even have to beg us for money (and he even refused our offer to reimburse him), he is independent and lives on his own (you'll never see him ask his "mommy and daddy" for anything) and above all else, he's just all around a great guy who knows how to get things done and kick ass and take names.

I mean, couldn't you at least be half the guy this guy is? Is that too much to ask? But it doesn't matter now, we've finally found the guy we're looking for and you're not needed anymore.

Anyway, I look forward to working with our new business partner (and now, employee, as I have promoted him to a senior game designer position) and I can't wait start working with him on this project.

Be on the lookout for it, because this is going to be good, very good, even better than anything you offered us, and honestly better than anything we've ever seen. This Cylde Cash guy, he's brilliant. I'm thinking he could easily become the next Miyamoto, or even better. But yeah, this is going to be good.

Even though you'll have no part in this, I'm sure you'll still be able to enjoy it once it comes out because something this good, I mean, it would be downright stupid to want to miss something like this. It's going to be amazing.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|Clyde is NOT stealing my [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], is he?}}

{{quoteboxred|Sorry that's classified information.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear Chris,

We sent a letter to you. I'm sure you heard from a man named Mike Chandler by now. It's true, Mr. Miyamoto no longer has an appointment scheduled with you, nor will we acknowledge any longer that he had any correspondence with you anymore. The project is dead and buried and all [[Nintendo]] employees have been told to never acknowledge that the project ever existed. 
I already told you before that the project was canceled due to your inaction. We will not accept any more unsolicited game suggestions or business requests from you. As we mentioned, Mr. Miyamoto does make occasional business trips to the U.S. (and your previous appointment, which has expired and been erased from memory, was one of those trips), but for now he is back in Japan where he usually spends the majority of his time.

Now that you have received the letter, consider the cancellation official. It was nice doing business with you, but we will not make any games or take any ideas you have into consideration nor will we make Sonichu the game or anything related to it.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime 
President 
Nintendo of America, Inc.}}

{{quotebox|And it is Official that YOU, Sir ARE an IMPOSTOR. You blatently croped and copied a piece of the letterhead from the letter I've uploaded onto my server, and you have obviously forged that signature.

I am Ceasing my contact with you at Your current E-mail address, as well as "Mr. Miyamoto"'s E-mail address, because You BOTH were IMPOSTOROUS [[trolls|TROLLS]]. So you can QUIT your Cherade, you bastards.

Christian C.}}

==Present day==
On 21 [[February 2019]], Reggie Fils-Aimé officially announced his resignation as President and Chief Operating Officer of the company, with the departure taking effect on 15 [[April 2019]]. Following his retirement, he transitioned into becoming a Leader in Residence at Cornell University and was later appointed to the boards of directors for several major companies, including [[GameStop]]. Chris did not publicly comment on Reggie’s departure at the time due to him having to [[April_2019_social_media_posts#Chris_Loses_His_Wallet|drive to Newport News again to pick up his lost wallet]], and his current views on Reggie remain unknown.

==See also==

* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009]]
* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009]]
* [[The Sonichu Chronicles]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Reggie Fils-Aime|Wikipedia article on Reggie Fils-Aimé]]

{{MiyamotoSaga}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Fils-Aimé, Reggie}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category: Miyamoto Saga]]
[[Category:People from the United States]]
[[Category:People from New York]]

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-11T17:55:36Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of.

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* Him [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|regularly shitting his pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>

(I'm surprised he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that all humans share a common ancestor, thus making everyone very, very distantly related)

==Solipsism==
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Chris's depiction of himself among the "sheeple".]]
Chris's egotism is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-11T17:47:30Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of.

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* Him [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|regularly shitting his pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>

(I'm surprised he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that all humans share a common ancestor, thus making everyone very, very distantly related)

==Solipsism==
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb|Chris's depiction of himself among the "sheeple".]]
This is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy

2026-04-11T17:45:42Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

{{Essay}}

Chris holds philosophical views that are inconsistent and incoherent.

==Impossibility of perfection==

One of Chris's most consistent and long-held beliefs is that because nothing is able to be completely perfect, having any standards at all is wrong.

Rather than let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good', he lets 'imperfect' be the enemy of 'decent' when 'decent' is something he falls short of.

* His [[Financhu Crisis|fiscal irresponsibility]] is no big deal because people sometimes spend small amounts of money on frivolous things.<ref>[[Apologies for offending people]]</ref>
* Him [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|regularly shitting his pants]] doesn't matter since "who hasn't in their lifetime pooed their childhood diapers[?]".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]</ref>

(I'm surprised he never tried to justify his incestuous affair with the fact that all humans share a common ancestor, thus making everyone very, very distantly related)

==Solipsism==
[[Image:Magi-Chan and I around 1218 neurotypical sheeple by nightstarrosechu2891.png|thumb]]
This is readily apparent (humble, sane people tend to not believe that they are deities)

Chris holds beliefs resembling those of a child who never learned that other people have inner lives of their own

User:Elbow-Greased Strongman

2026-04-10T23:51:39Z

Elbow-Greased Strongman:

[[File:ChrisChanGulfWar.jpg|600px|thumb]]
Hey you! You know who you are. Yeah, you're a cunt.

my half-formed pages based on my half-baked ideas:
* [[User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Parenting|Parenting]]
* [[User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Management|Management]]
* [[User:Elbow-Greased Strongman/Philosophy|Chris's "Philosophy"]]

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|id= [[Image:Bob Chandler by spoonorca.png|60px|GET THAT STUFF OFF OF THERE AND GET IT OFF OF THERE FAST!]]
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|info-bg-col= #8B7E61
|info-border-col = #8B7E61
|id= [[File:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|60px|Something's happening downstairs!]]
|info= '''Brief Crapper''' This user has NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.
}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #2E3728
|box-bg-col= #D5675A
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|info-bg-col= #D5675A
|info-border-col = #D5675A
|id= [[File:Tard_Rage.png|60px|I WILL PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!]]
|info= '''EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!''' This user is GON' SSSSSTRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH.
}}
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #purple
|box-bg-col= #FFCEFF
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|info-bg-col= #FFCEFF
|info-border-col = #FFCEFF
|id= [[Image:Homo symbol.png|50px|Homo]]
|info= '''Gay...bian''' This user is [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|geeehhh]]...}}