CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Ellieisdone

2025-01-07T13:11:14Z

Ellieisdone:

<center><div style="clear:center; float:center; width:358px;">{{collapsible|Userboxes|{{Americunt}}{{HFA}}{{AssBurger}}
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My name is Evelyn. I’m a dumb 21 year old woman that got into Chris after hearing about him in 2018. I watched a few documentaries but started to religiously look into his life after the incest arrest.

I'm currently blocked by Chris on bluesky after posting a meme about him.

The WCT

2023-10-25T15:54:26Z

Ellieisdone:

{{incomplete|[[The Lainchu Manifesto]]}}
{{Unreliable|type=misinfo|is being}}
{{Unreliable|type=cred|WCT is noted for being egotistical and having many delusions of grandeur.<ref group=note>WCT had often made comments about being "one of the final protagonists" of Christory, and has on some ocassions [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sean-walker-psychic-espeon-wct.97689/page-21#post-9752790 compared himself to the Kiwi Farms owner, Null] or made comments about his influence and "power" on the CWCSphere.</ref>|WCT will often say edgy things for shock value.|WCT has made bold, accusatory claims without verifying them first.{{refn|group="note"|Attempted to throw [[Null]] under the bus by claiming that Null had been aware of Chris's [[Affair with Mother]] and did nothing to stop it.<ref>[[June 2021 Watchmen calls#Pre-Jail Interview]] at the 1:25:37 mark</ref> However, Null's DMs with Chris indicate Null was not aware.<ref>[[Null DMs]]</ref> When [[Bella]] gave WCT her [[fabricated BDSM texts]], he believed Bella when she claimed that [[the Suitress]] also had those; subsequently attempted to throw the Suitress under the bus by claiming her as the sole source for the text instead of naming Bella}}}}
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}

{{Infobox Person
|title = The WCT
|name = Sean Walker
|image = SeanWalker.png|imagesize= 200
|birthsrc =
|aliases = The Wildcat (WCT) Yosemite Cat Logan<ref>[https://archive.fo/1MuIB Archive of Logan Kiwi Farms profile]</ref> Neko / Neko Onyx<ref name=RSD>See Gallery section in [[Randy Stair discussion]]</ref> CPU Onyx Heart<ref>[[:File:Cpu onyx heart-min.jpg]]</ref> Mage Leo Azul<ref name=EverfreeSecurity/> Psychic Espeon<ref name=WCTEspeon>{{cite farms|thread=31437|title=Randy Stair / Andrew Blaze / PioneersProductions & Ember's Ghost Squad (EGS)|post=7364906}} Psychic Espeon's former Kiwi Farms username was The WCT.</ref> Kat<ref name=RSD></ref> BrownHairedDragon<ref name="BrownHairedDragon"/> Conner<ref name=conner>[[The Knights of CWC chats (July 2021)# Bella Arrives, How Bella Knows Chris, Intentions, Convention Plans]]</ref> currentlyinexile Chairmen Miaozer TheGhost
|gender = Male<ref name="WCTWiki"/>
|race = Mixed
|knownfor =• Helping Chris record an audio clip telling Sockness to stay away • Convincing Chris to cut ties with [[The Place]] Discord server and three of its members, and having private conversations with him. • Enabling delusions of Chris's regarding [[Randy Stair]] • Creating the Knights of CWC server • Being the tentative fourth [[Lainchu]], only to then be rejected by Chris • Hosting the [[Regarding Chris]] group chat to question [[Bella]].
|nationality = American
|occupation = Founder and leader of Knights of CWC Amatuer Documentarian
|saga = {{saga|jacob|cn}}, {{saga|watchmen|cn}}, {{saga|praetor|cn}}, {{saga|incest|cn}}
}}

{{quote|As powerful as I’ve recently became lately, it’s also best to keep myself in check.

Or else, I’ll end up using said powers for evil like [[Naught|Bismuth]].|WCT, talking about his 'power' in the 'CWCsphere'}}

{{quote|With Andrew and Ember's help, I will defeat Bismuth for good. And to ensure that he doesnt hurt another innocent again|WCT relaying [[Randy Stair]] lore to Chris, saying that him and a [[Wikipedia:Danny Phantom|Danny Phantom]] character will help defeat [[Naught]]<ref name=EverfreeSecurity></ref>}}

{{quote|You can go live in a video with your thoughts and insight about MLP G5, and comment with the details I have shared so far, and what you, as well, have seen in your visions, and even heard from talking with the spirits and angels from the realms.

This could very well be another instance the Messenger WildLeo (you) comes through in breaking up the chaos and boughts.|Chris to The WCT, hoping he can help stop ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G5<ref name=poniesrp>[[WCT DMs#Role-playing to cope with MLP cartoon]]</ref>}}

'''Sean Walker''', more commonly known as '''The Wildcat (WCT)''' and '''CPU Onyx Heart''', also known as '''Psychic Espeon''', '''Neko Onyx''', and plenty of other pseudonyms, is a former [[Watchmen]] member and amateur documentarian who made documentaries on dark or edgy topics.<ref>{{Cite farms|writer=Caeser|thread=97689|post=9725741}}</ref> He is self-described as "one of the most powerful people in the CWC sphere."<ref name='finalprotagonist'>{{Cite farms|thread=97689|post=9742266|title=Discord screenshots of WCT declaring himself as "one of the final protagonists"}}</ref> He boasted that he was proud about his eventual feature in [[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History|Geno Samuel's documentary series]], claiming himself as "one of the final protagonists."<ref name='finalprotagonist'/> He has also made a few comments where he had compared himself to [[Null]],<ref>{{Cite farms|thread=97689|post=9752790}}</ref> or brought up his supposed influence on the CWCSphere. The WCT even had one of his pseudonyms being "'''Conner'''",<ref name=conner></ref> Josh's middle name.

WCT had a conflict with [[Naught]], [[Kyle]] and [[MKR]] - in which Naught had doxed WCT on Kiwi Farms for declining to share his Kiwi Farms account<ref name=naughtedit>[https://archive.ph/wip/9215A Archive of Naught's CWCki edit]</ref> and Kyle and MKR had refused to believe Naught had done so.<ref name=watchmencall></ref> WCT created another Discord group, [[The Knights of CWC]], modelling it after the previous Watchmen group run by Naught and Kyle, [[The Place]].

As a Watchman, WCT was concerned with protecting Chris from malicious individuals. In 2019, he was involved with [[Chris Releases A Statement Regarding Jacob Sockness]], an audio recording Chris released to Twitter in order to discourage [[Jacob Sockness]] from coming to his house. Two years later, WCT would again try to intervene against Sockness's plan to meet Chris at [[Everfree Northwest]],<ref name=EverfreeSecurity>[[WCT DMs#Everfree security]]</ref> though Chris's arrest for [[Affair with Mother|incest]] would cause him to miss the convention.

Some of WCT's actions garnered controversy. He, like several other Watchmen, were enablers to Chris's delusions as they would play along with his fantasies. In WCT's case, he played along with Chris's fantasies over the shooter [[Randy Stair]], who was a subject of a documentary series of WCT's own, being a guardian figure.

After being doxed by Naught, The WCT had collaborated with [[Isabella Janke]] to dox Naught back. During the wake of the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] scandal, WCT questioned Bella about her involvement in the [[Incest call]]; he was then tricked by her into believing her [[fabricated BDSM texts]] were real and that [[the Suitress]] also had them in her possession, and he then spread the texts onto the [[Kiwi Farms]] while claiming the Suitress as his sole source and partially revealing her identity as well. In addition, WCT's former associate, [[MKRNightVee]], spread a rumor about him that he "probably wants Chris to kill himself"<ref name=mkrrumor>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1410103600932548609 (archive: https://archive.md/UKGom)</ref> in retaliation for WCT convincing Chris to leave [[The Place|her group's Discord server]]. These actions and circumstances would result in him receiving considerable flak, ultimately causing him to retreat from the internet and go in hiding.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==As a Watchman==
[[File:WCTYoutubeIcon.png|thumb|WCT's icon used for his YouTube channel. This was the icon most associated with him.]]
===Becoming a Watchman===

WCT, an amatuer documentarian, was fascinated by GenoSamuel's ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'' series in early to mid-2018, and archived the series on his YouTube channel The WCT when the original ''History'' was terminated by YouTube.<ref name="WCTWiki"/>

According to Naught, WCT joined the [[Discord#CWC Rebellion|CWC Rebellion server]], where he made friends with a user named "Smoky Chris" and that the aspiring documentarians met in GenoSamuel's Discord server some time in 2019.<ref name=naughtclaimbg>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sean_Walker&type=revision&diff=273050&oldid=273047 CWCki edit by Naught] (archive: https://archive.ph/fVnw7)</ref> Naught also claimed to have met WCT in the GenoSamuel server when Naught also hung out with Joseph Draft, director of [[Chris Chan VS. The Internet|CWC vs the world]] and that the two were both early Watchmen.<ref name=naughtclaimbg></ref>

[[File:The WCT avatar.png|thumb|left|150px|The avatar MKRNightVee drew for The WCT]]
He later joined the Watchmen, where he mainly archived calls involving Chris while maintaining a YouTube channel that posted Chris-centric content which has since been privated. In February 2021, he attempted to become the fourth person behind the role of '[[Lainchu]],' an OC created by the Watchmen, but was rejected by Chris, who still preferred his predecessor.<ref name=lainchu>[[The Place chats (March 2021)#Rejection of the Fourth Lainchu]]</ref>

===Internal conflicts===
On Christmas Eve of 2020, Chris had mentioned concerns about The WCT being banned from [[The Place]], alledging that it was due to political jokes he made.<ref>[[The Place chats - Infighting, Anime, and the Merge]]</ref> Kyle replies that he is unsure about unbanning him, and complains about The WCT "leaking" information. When Chris responds that WCT hadn't been leaking anything, Naught and Kyle respond that he doesn't leak on purpose, with Naught claiming that WCT had hinted at the existence of The Place server.

WCT was doxed on /cow/ in 2019, and on lolcow farm. Early in [[June 2021]], The WCT dox was reposted on Kiwi Farms by fellow Watchman and group leader Naught (also known as Bismuth).<ref name=naughtthread>[https://www.lolcow.org/threads/anameisaname-bismuth-anon-llc-naught-nitto-nanashi-death-of-chans-doppelganger-nightmare-tardwarsllc-heart-cpu-bismuth-heart.724/ Bismuth thread on lolcow.org] [https://archive.fo/G30td (archive)]</ref> When WCT confronted Naught in a voice chat, Naught denied the allegation, then threatened to further dox WCT in an attempt to silence him.<ref name=watchmencall>[[June 2021 Watchmen calls]]</ref> WCT explained the events to Chris himself, who believed The WCT's evidence and cut ties with Naught over it.<ref name=watchmencall></ref><ref name=wctinterview>[[The WCT#Interview|July 2021 interview]]</ref> Naught had eventually confirmed his doxing of WCT on 30 August 2021 in an Onion Farms message<ref name=doxadmit>[[:File:Naught on WCT dox.png]]</ref> and again on 29 November 2021 while editing his CWCki page.<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sean_Walker&diff=next&oldid=273048 Naught's edit]</ref> Naught had also stated in the edit that The WCT acussing him of sending strikes on his videos would futher justify decision to dox him. After receiving strikes for his videos, WCT would then create a new channel to host his content, "Yosemite Cat".<ref>[[WCT DMs#Video Strikes]]</ref>

Shortly after, WCT was banned from [[The Place]], the Watchmen's [[Discord]] server. In response, Chris left the server himself. In WCT's own words, "[Chris] saw my banning as a signal to him that my suspicions about Bismuth and the others were correct." The [[Praetor]] group, who had also been in the server, left it as well following Chris's departure.<ref name=watchmencall></ref><ref name=wctinterview></ref> WCT had claimed in a later post to an interviewee that he had decided to "take down the group" as a result of Naught doxing him, taking Chris with him in order to "punish" other members in the group.<ref>{{Cite farms|writer=TV's Adam West|thread=97689|post=9742586}}</ref>

[[MKR]] later jumped to several baseless conclusions over the matter and circulated several rumors. In late June she tagged Chris’s Twitter and posted, “Have fun getting fucked over by WCT and [[Praetor]].”<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1410076709148266498 (archive: https://archive.fo/zb0wM)</ref> accusing WCT of having sinister motives, including "probably [wanting] Chris to kill himself in a similar manner [to Randy Stair].<ref name=mkrrumor></ref>

WCT created a successor group and invited in Chris and several of the Watchmen who had been in The Place, titling his group [[Knights of CWC|The Knights of CWC]]. There, he served as the Watchmen's third leader, though he was also unsure of putting the group under the Watchmen moniker. As leader, WCT sought to take a less aggressive approach to other Chris orbiters than Naught had, stating to [[Helena]] that he would "[[Isabella Loretta Janke|give anybody who befriends Chris a chance]] until it becomes clear to me they have awful intentions."<ref>[[Helena-WCT DMs]]</ref>

WCT gave [[The WCT#Interview|an interview to the CWCki]] explaining his side of the story.

==Interactions with Chris==
{{Needs Updating|[[WCT DMs#Sockness alert]]}}
{{Main|WCT DMs}}

WCT was one of the people trying to discourage Chris from his plan to [[Taser Discussion|tase his magic stones to start the Dimensional Merge]]. He also expressed concern over Chris's mental health when Chris uploaded [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.]], a video in which an upset Chris ranted about ''My Little Pony'', the background revealing several punched holes in the wall; WCT reached out to Chris to calm him down and asked Chris to talk things out instead of hurting himself. When asked by WCT what had happened to the wall, Chris claimed the damage had occurred in the past over trying to physically break the [[iron curtain]] between dimensions.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Upset at MLP G5]]</ref>

In [[April 2021]], Chris did tarot readings for both WCT and [[Naught]].<ref>[[Tarot Readings]]</ref>

===Chris and WCT's YouTube channel===
WCT had a YouTube channel, since deleted, in which he posted content such as self-made documentaries and interviews. Chris has tried to use WCT's channel as a means to promote his ideas.

In [[November 2020]], Chris watched some of The WCT's channel content, including his documentary on [[Randy Stair]]. On 6 November, Chris recorded an audio file, [[Chris channels Randy Stair]], in which he hoped to help Stair get a post-death message out to the world by [[role-play]]ing that he had been possessed by Stair. Chris gave the file to The WCT and gave his permission for it to be posted on The WCT's channel,<ref>[[WCT DMs#Post-death message for Stair]]</ref> although WCT declined to upload it.

On 28 [[July 2021]], Chris reached out to WCT and suggested he should record a livestream about ''[[My Little Pony]]'''s upcoming G5 reboot (a reboot Chris was extremely against). Chris also told WCT to "comment with the details I have shared so far, and what you, as well, have seen in your visions, and even heard from talking with the spirits and angels from the realms." Chris dubbed WCT as the "Messenger WildLeo", hoping that his video could help prevent G5 from launching. When WCT answered that he was considering making a video roasting the film after its release, Chris replied that it would be best not to wait until then, telling him the prevention of the movie was ideal for maintaining safety across the timeline. Chris did not elaborate on how exactly such a video would help in overturning Hasbro's decision to reboot ''My Little Pony''.<ref name=poniesrp></ref>

===Randy Stair delusions===
{{main|Randy Stair}}
WCT was a regular contributor to a wiki dedicated to the documentation of [[Randy Stair]], who infamously killed three people and then himself after losing his mind, having held his own obsession with Stair since at least [[July 2018]],<ref name="WCTWiki">[https://the-egs-reupload.fandom.com/wiki/The_WCT?oldid=564 "The WCT" - EGS Reupload Wiki] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210811043202/https://the-egs-reupload.fandom.com/wiki/The_WCT (archive)]</ref> according to a wiki page [[Ego|he made about himself]].<ref name=BrownHairedDragon>[https://the-egs-reupload.fandom.com/wiki/The_WCT?action=history History of an EGS Wiki page about The WCT shows only one contributor, 'BrownHairedDragon'] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210913153431/https://the-egs-reupload.fandom.com/wiki/The_WCT?action=history (archive)]</ref>

WCT produced a YouTube documentary on Stair. In [[November 2020]], Chris found the documentary after looking through a playlist on The WCT's channel and took an interest in Stair's story, particularly the aspects involving Stair's belief in [[Chris and reality|fictional characters existing in an alternate dimension]].<ref name=discussion>[[Randy Stair discussion]]</ref>

Chris recorded an audio file to "help [Stair] get a post-death message out," giving the file to WCT.<ref name=discussion></ref>

In conversations with WCT, Chris occasionally role-played that Randy Stair was a guardian figure and WCT briefly played along.

On 13 July 2021, WCT tried to help Chris avoid [[Jacob Sockness]] at the upcoming [[Everfree Northwest]] convention by asking him to record another version of [[Chris Releases A Statement Regarding Jacob Sockness]]. During their discussion, Chris [[Coping|coped]] with the issue of Sockness by role-playing that Randy Stair would be defeating Sockness with WCT's help:<ref name=EverfreeSecurity></ref>

{{quotebox|speaker=Chris|Ember just came to me with a message in regard to Sockness.

Randy and the Ghost Squad are working to break through the horde of demons around his apartment building.

In the present energy shift, there is a potential boost going to Sockness. But there is a counter, and it involves you, Sean.}}

To which WCT, seemingly confusing Sockness for [[Naught]], replied:

{{quoteboxgreen|speaker=The WCT|With Andrew and Ember's help, I will defeat Bismuth for good. And to ensure that he doesn't hurt another innocent again.}}

===Everfree Northwest===

In [[July 2021]], [[Jacob Sockness]] declared that he had plans to attend [[Everfree Northwest]] in disguise to meet with Chris.<ref>{{Cite Reddit|subreddit=Kidasuna
|title= Going to Ever Free
|username=[[Jacob Sockness|luvshak214]]
|post=ocsgyf/going_to_ever_free
|archive=https://archive.fo/dcP2u}}</ref> WCT alerted Chris to Sockness's statements.

On 13 July 2021, Chris brought up [[Bella]] to WCT, telling WCT she would be accompanying him to Everfree Northwest.<ref name=EverfreeSecurity></ref>

On 19 July 2021, Chris invited Bella, as well as the [[Suitress]]; who was also set to meet Chris at the convention; into the [[Knights of CWC]],<ref>[[WCT DMs#Invitation]]</ref> a [[Watchmen]] splinter group headed by WCT and the group discussed plans to protect Chris from Sockness. Bella would claim that she would be a bodyguard for Chris.<ref>[[The Knights of CWC chats (July 2021)#Everfree Northwest]]</ref>

On the night of 19 July 2021, Bella invited WCT, the Suitress, and Chris into her [[Chess Group 15|chess group #15]] Discord server. WCT discussed his conflict with Naught, Kyle and MKR, and told Bella he had been "working with Former Kiwi Farmers to bring down the Watchmen" and asked Bella to assist him in doxing Naught, calling him an "evil man."<ref name=chess>[[Chess Group 15 Chats#Watchmen Treason]]</ref>

==The Incest Scandal==
On 2 July 2021, Chris had confessed with the WCT about having an affair with a woman "older than him", but did not reveal to him that his affair had occurred with his mother. On 27 July, Chris bragged to Bella that he was in the middle of an [[Affair with Mother|incestuous relationship with his mother]].<ref>[[WCT DMs#Asking about Incest Call leak]]</ref>

WCT had created the group chat, [[Regarding Chris]], where he and selected other Chris orbiters would question Bella on what was happening. Bella gave the files to the Suitress and both would leak Chris's statements in the following days. Even after the leak, Chris was still willing to talk to Bella; it took both [[Null]] and WCT telling him he shouldn't to make Chris reconsider and cut ties with Bella.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Discussing the incest fallout]]</ref>

===Targeted by the Halal Server===
In August 2021, [[MKRNightVee]] and [[Naught]] joined the Halal Server. There, MKRNightVee in particular spread vicious rumors about The WCT, such as accusing him of plotting to have Chris killed.<ref name=halalserver>[https://www.onionfarms.com/attachments/halal-server-zip.10884/ Zip file of Halal Server leaks hosted at Onion Farms]</ref>

==Interview==

The WCT was interviewed over Discord about the Watchmen breakup on 11 July 2021. The WCT's messages are in blue and the interviewer's in green.

{{quoteboxgreen|Hi. Someone told me you’re The WCT. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to ask you some questions about the Watchmen breakup for the Cwcki.}}

{{quotebox|hi there.

and yes, by all means ask said questions.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|The initial conflict seems to be between you and Bismuth, that Bismuth doxed you. How did it grow to break up the Watchmen group?}}

{{quotebox|After I concluded that it was Bismuth that was responsible for the doxing, I made the choice to contact MKRNightVee (or Meghan some of you know her as) and I showed her a lot of screenshots in DMs that compared the typing style of his old Kiwi Farms accounts to one that he used to dox me. (which was Nightmare)

I recall telling her that I was 90 percent sure that it was him.

But in spite of the evidence that I had presented to her at the time, she didn't believe me. And during our VC on June 21st, She and Kyle were still not convinced.

They originally thought it was somebody who I angered in the past, but knowing what the Nightmare account was up to at the time, I knew that it was him.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|How did Chris learn of the dispute?}}

{{quotebox|Not long after the VC, I decided that I would contact him myself.

So with the help of a Former Watchmen who had his phone number, I was able to get in contact with him on June 25th.

And there, I had an hour and 40 minute talk with him that first started off as any conversation I'd usually have with him until I was comfortable enough to tell him the details.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Did you show Chris the same evidence that you did to MKRNightVee?}}

{{quotebox|When I was talking with MKR, I didn't show her as much evidence at the time since the Investigation was still ongoing. And compared to what I shared with Chris, I shared less with MKR.

Not because I didn't trust her, but it was because there was not enough information available at the time. And what I ended up showing Chris was a combination of the Kiwi Farms posts and the VC that I had with the rest of the group.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|How did Chris react to it?}}

{{quotebox|It took Chris a while to process it.

With each screenshot, he began to believe that my claims were true. And when we were both going over the VC, he noticed how Bismuth was getting really defensive and thought that he was clearly lying to me.

Especially when I told Bismuth that Josh (Null) claimed to me that him and Nightmare were the same person.
And that 3-4 seconds of silence on his part was something that helped convince Chris that I was in the right.

He also noticed how hostile Bismuth was getting towards me as well, especially when I kept on asking him if he doxed me or not. Chris saw that as a red flag.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Did Chris cut ties with Bismuth?}}

{{quotebox|From what I know, yes he did.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What happened between Chris and MKRNightVee? MKR’s recent tweets indicate they’ve had a falling out. Is it related to the Watchmen breakup?}}

{{quotebox|yes it is.

Meghan was upset that Chris had sided with me in regards to what had happened.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|How does Praetor fit in to this? MKRNightVee has said in a tweet that you’ve teamed up with them.}}

{{quotebox|Praetor had nothing to do with what happened.

Its just that when they got word from Chris that he had left the server, they followed. So it makes sense on MKR's part to accuse me of working with them because we all either got banned or left the place at the same time.

It was a strange coincidence yes, but there is zero contact between me and Caden.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What server did Chris leave?}}

{{quotebox|The Watchmen's Place.

as some of you might've heard of on the CWCki. - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Discord#The_Watchmen.27s_Place}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Why did he leave it?}}

{{quotebox|when he got word that I got banned from the server (by Kyle that is), he saw it as a green light to leave it himself.

So essentially he saw my banning as a signal to him that my suspicions about Bismuth and the others were correct.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Are you still in contact with Chris?}}

{{quotebox|at this moment in time, I'm not.

We went our separate ways not long after the Watchmen had broken up and I believe that its for the best for both me and him.

And rather or not if he wants to be in touch with me still is completely up to him, but I won't be too surprised if he had already moved on at this point, and I respect whatever path he goes on moving forward.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Forgot to ask earlier, but what was your motivation for informing Chris of the conflict between you and Bismuth/MKR/Kyle?}}

{{quotebox|I was running out of options on what to do. When MKR and Kyle didn't believe my claims, I felt that I had no choice but to inform Chris on what had happened.

It was a very risky move on my part to do that, but I don't regret telling him.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|That’s all the questions I have. Thank you for answering. Is there anything else you would like to add?}}

{{quotebox|I just want to let people know that Chris is now a free man with nobody to dictate his actions. And for his sake, it needs to remain that way.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Thanks again. I'll look to getting this conversation to the CWCki. Do you want your username/avatar censored?}}

{{quotebox|yes}}

{{collapsible|Screencaps|<center><gallery>
File:The WCT interview1.png
File:The WCT interview2.png
File:The WCT interview3.png
File:The WCT interview4.png
File:The WCT interview5.png
File:The WCT interview6.png
</gallery>}}

==Conclusion==

With his last remaining hours of freedom, Chris chose to send his final known online message to WCT, informing him that the pets were being taken care of.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Chris's final messages]]</ref> Within a few hours, Chris was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|taken into custody]], which WCT claimed to have "felt a sense of pain" watching.<ref name=wctmkrdms>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sean-walker-discord-leaks-merged-feat-mkrnightvee-ex-kiwis-the-fool-and-o-p-ii.100542/ Sean Walker Discord Leaks feat. MKRNightVee, ex-Kiwis @The Fool and @{o}P II. ''Kiwi Farms'']</ref>

On 13 [[September 2021]], The WCT was contacted by [[MKR]] on Discord for the first time since the fall of the Watchmen.<ref name=wctmkrdms></ref> Throughout the conversation, WCT lamented his situation, calling himself a failure for not recognizing [[WCT_DMs#Chris_describes_his_lady_friend|the signs of Chris and Barb's incestuous relationship]] as well as [[Fabricated BDSM texts|Bella's manipulation]], thoughts he admitted caused him to contemplate suicide. Nevertheless, he insisted that he had no regrets and claimed that everything was meant to be. He theorized and repeated multiple times throughout the conversation that the [[Kiwi Farms]] would be defunct within the next couple of years, no doubt wishful thinking on his part. WCT's hatred of [[Bismuth]] showed no signs of having subsided. At one point, he takes a page out of Chris's book and threatens to both [[Chris and the law|sue and call the police on]] the fellow former Watchman. Other proposed victims of his legal wrath included [[Null]] and a prominent [[CWCki]] admin, though The WCT recognized that these actions would likely be all for naught.

In [[Jail Letter - 18 January 2022]], Chris mentioned that he wished to get back in contact with Wildcat, presumably referring to one of The WCT's pseudonyms. It remains to be seen if WCT has plans for when - if ever - Chris gets out of jail, but it's likely his involvement in Chris's life is over.

==See also==
*[[Helena-WCT DMs]]
*[[Kiwi Farms posts (The WCT)]]
*[[The Place chats - Randy Stair discussion]]
*[[WCT DMs]]

{{Notes}}
{{References}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:WCT}}
{{WatchmenSaga}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{People}}
[[Category:Watchmen Members]]
[[Category:Christubers]]
[[Category:Autistic]]

Self-inflicted taint wound

2023-04-03T17:07:23Z

Ellieisdone: /* Background */

{{Honest}}

{{quote|Anyhow, and you can try this at home in private, push (maybe tough) into the center of the skin patch between your legs (the taint); you may find one or two grooves hidden under there. One of them, yes, is your unbirthable Vagina (since the uterus would be shrunk during the "Y" mutation).

Punchline: if every gay male knew about this, all they'd have to do is cut their taint, and they'd have a new hole to play with|Chris's [[Reddit]] post from 3 July 2016, made before he cut his taint open later that month.}}

{{quote|He was really buttmad when he finally admitted it was a wound. Like all caps "FINE OK IT'S A WOUND God! <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>"|[[Marvin]], one of the people who managed to convince Chris to seek treatment for the wound.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-12-21-chris-reminiscences-about-moving-back-into-14bc-after-the-fire.26774/page-7#post-1962754</ref>}}

The '''self-inflicted taint wound''' (or '''Un-Clit 2.0''') is the result of Chris's attempt to deal with his [[gender dysphoria]] issues using [[magical thinking]].

On the evening of 23 [[July 2016]], following several months of believing that he was magically undergoing sex-reassignment through listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos, Chris sliced his taint open with a knife in an attempt to expedite the transformation. The catalyst was alleged by an insider in contact with Chris to have been from Chris being drunk and saddened over lesbians pointing out he didn't have an actual vagina, though Chris had been mulling usage of a knife in the weeks beforehand.

On 24 [[July 2016]], Chris announced in a Facebook post that he had grown [[China|vaginal labia]] from his hypnosis regimen. Chris later posted two more messages; first claiming that he had his "labia area" examined, and then declaring that it was all a ruse. Of course, these were proven to be blatant [[lies]]. Chris had edited the message about the exam, changing his story as he went on. If that wasn't telling enough, a second picture provided by insiders in contact with Chris displayed the wound from another angle, making it extremely unlikely to be a [[Adobe PhotoDeluxe|Photoshop]] hoax.

Unlike the first picture, in which the "labia" was posed for his fanbase on Facebook, the second exhibited how badly Chris was handling what could have evolved into a life-threatening infection: he is shown spreading the wound as if it were a vagina.

Chris initially responded to direct attempts at getting him to see a doctor by replying that he already had and everything was fine - something ''no'' trusted doctor would ever say regarding this outrageous situation. He then deleted all related posts in an attempt at damage control.

[[Marvin]] confirmed that Chris sought treatment after the posts went public and people hassled him into ''finally'' admitting that his "labia" was in fact a wound.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/24-julay-2016-taint-megathread.22839/page-81#post-1629348</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-12-21-chris-reminiscences-about-moving-back-into-14bc-after-the-fire.26774/page-7#post-1962754</ref>

==Background==
[[Image:PreludeToATaintWound.jpg|thumb| Prelude to a taint wound.]]

{{w|Gender dysphoria|Late-onset gender dysphoria}} is a psychological disorder describing those who identify with another gender over their own, and can present with the desire to be rid of their primary sex characteristics and prefer those of the other gender. Like with everything else in life, Chris sought out [[magical thinking]] to treat his gender dysphoria.

In March 2016, he discovered [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]], a collection of music tracks on YouTube claiming to, among other things, magically grant larger breasts and transform a penis into a vagina. Chris's confirmation bias over his breasts increasing, crediting it to the mysticism instead of his {{w|gynecomastia}} and [[My Breast Massage Routine 18+|poor measuring of his chest]], led him to believe that the claims made by the channel were true.

He pursued the penis-vagina transformation, and began to prod his taint while under the impression there was a hidden vagina there.<ref>[[Reddit#Can males be born with a hidden vagina (minus the uterus)? (3 July 2016)]]</ref> Though the Subliminal channel claimed the transformation would take six months, Chris eventually lost patience, and four months in, cut open his taint, the most neglected and dirty part of the body, with a knife in an attempt to speed up the process.

==Chris's demented version of events==
===First Facebook post===

{{quotebox|
24 July 2016 at 11:40 am

<nowiki>**Announcement**</nowiki>

As a number of online people may be aware, I have been grooving with the subliminal frequencies and binaural beats towards my transition from male to female body. The source being the Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis Wizards Binaural Beats channel on YouTube. Last March, I've started simple with growing my breasts out with their Breast Growth Hormone track; it worked to my amazement at a full inch outward per week in about two months. I've also listened to change my nipples to teats, as well as begin producing breast milk. Also, related, from a separate track on another channel, I have eased and cured the worst of my autism too. But since last May, I decided to take it a step further and begin my transition from male to female with the penis to vagina tracks, including the individual organ changing tracks, and for a while the Intersex track. And two Fridays ago, July 15, while I slept that night, my labia started splitting open, and I found the initial hole and blood the next morning. And over the few days that followed, the labia opened to its full length, and I've been dealing with the blood that came out. I have been keeping it clean, daily monitoring it, and treating it with rubbing alcohol. I have started the wheels in motion for the full HRT and SRS by Seeing My Doctor last Friday, because I felt like I didn't want to wait much longer to fully become the woman that I should have been born as.

With that, I have uploaded a photo of my labia onto imgur, http://m.imgur.com/gallery/pb1ovpJ, for all 18+ year old individuals to see. BUT, I do not want to be overrun with tabloid and paparazzi attention over this, or have a total big deal made.

As for my own statement to quote, I will state the following: Have belief and faith in what your body can do, and with such binaural beats and frequencies, as well as persistence and patience, what you'd like can happen for you.

And if you'd like to offer your support in my transition as well, I accept financial donations via PayPal to my email address, ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com.

Thank you, and have a good and safe day.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX4JC6NnvfGC9i3kwSFPFIg}}

Even Chris's Facebook friends had nothing positive to say about this. They tried to talk some sense into him to no avail.

[[Jessica Quinn]]
{{quoteboxgreen|...fuck it. I'm out. I don't even know what one can say about this. Why would you post something this messed up?

Good luck with whatever it is you're trying to do with your life. I tried.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I just don't get it, WHY would you post this kind of stuff?

You were JUST complaining about how people invade every aspect of your life and that you wouldn't share anything so personal and now you do... THIS!

I don't even know what to think right now. My mind is blown.}}
Kenneth Englehardt
{{quoteboxred|I would advise most strongly against any nude photos of yourself on the internet. It is prime trolling stuff and it comes across as exercising extremely poor judgment. Jessica is absolutely 100% correct in this. Your nude photos of your "equipment" have absolutely no place on the internet.}}
Quinn
{{quoteboxgreen|Ken, it's a little more serious than that. This could be a major health problem brewing.}}
Quinn
{{quoteboxgreen|What's more important is his health.

Whomever is putting Christine up to this, please stop. This could lead to a serious life threatening health problem.

I know many people follow what goes on on this page - whomever is pulling the strings needs to stop. It's sick and twisted and a life could very well be at stake here.

Please Christine Weston Chandler, go and get looked at. I support your right to be who you want, but this is a very serious matter.}}

Although initially [[naive]]ly believing this was just another case of Chris's complete inability to stop himself from posting [[Honest Content]], Englehardt quickly wised up to the situation at hand:

Englehardt
{{quoteboxred|Christine this could be a sign of an infection setting in? Do you understand that if this gets into your bloodstream you could very well end up in the ICU at the hospital. This isn't transitioning, this is endangering your health for nothing. This is bullshit. You have a family member who is dependent on your well-being.}}

Mellanie Chafe (deleted)
{{quoteboxorange|She's...she's evolving!!! EVOLVING I TELL YOU!}}
Chafe
{{quoteboxorange|I'm so confused...}}

===Second Facebook post===
A Kiwi Farms user named Doc Cassidy texted Chris, telling him to go to a hospital.
[[Image:Cwc doc cassidy.png|thumb|250px|]]

Two minutes later, Chris posted to Facebook again.
{{quotebox|
24 July 2016 at 2:20 pm

feeling annoyed.

I Have had my labia area examined last night. No Infection at all. I am clean.}}

Chris later edited the post, changing his story on when he supposedly got examined.
{{quotebox|

feeling annoyed.

I Have had my labia area examined today. No Infection at all. I am clean.}}

'''Replies'''

Quinn
{{quoteboxgreen|Please get a second opinion then. This is a serious matter.

If you weren't afraid to share this whole ordeal earlier, it shouldn't be a problem to prove you've gone to the doctor's to get checked out. Paperwork, a receipt, hell a parking ticket to prove you actually went.

You could be putting yourself at serious risk Christine. People are truly worried about you. Please don't brush it off!}}
Englehardt
{{quoteboxred|Christine, I saw that picture of your "labia". That is not a vagina, that's a fistula with a possible perineal abscess developing. This won't be visible from the surface. I don't who has been fucking with your head in this manner but a number of us are upset not only for your sake but for Barbara's sake as well.}}
Jennifer Marie
{{quoteboxorange|I wouldn't necessarily call it a fistula, the initial piercing would be considered a fistula; however, that certainly is not a labia. Chris, this cannot be comfortable. I'm glad it's not infected, but that is a very deep wound, and you need to take care of it properly, or else it will get infected very quickly, and very badly (think of when your mom had wounds on her butt infected...). I would not want to see you end up in the hospital with a systemic infection.}}
Seamus Campbell
{{quoteboxorange|???? Huh?}}

===Hoax claim===
Hours after making the initial post, and seeing the scathing criticism and pleas for him to get the wound treated from his Facebook friends, Chris removed the two posts, then claimed the whole thing was a hoax - an incredibly blatant lie even by his standards, as he does not have the skills to photoshop the wound in his photo. It was most likely a ploy because he tried to stay in denial over it being a wound.

{{quotebox|
24 July 2016 at 7:07 pm

Hey, Trolls. Gotcha! That photo was a fake. I have no wound down there. And, by the way, "abcess" implies presence of Pus; there is NO pus in the photo. Crazy people. To clarify: the photo was a hoax.

Have a good day.}}

Chris quickly deleted this post as well.

'''Replies'''

Marie
{{quoteboxorange|But why would you fake something that serious appearing?}}
Chafe
{{quoteboxorange|So you literally just became what you hate. Good job. For the people that actually were concerned...I feel bad for them.}}

===Continued delusion===
On 26 July, a Kiwi Farms user named Innocuous Banter texted Chris, who again claimed that he had been cleared by a doctor. When asked what the doctor had to say about the "labia," Chris responded with, "It is coming in good" and that it is normal-looking. Chris also believes it will finish growing in "a few months."

<center><gallery>
File:Cwc innocuous banter.png
File:Cwc innocuous banter2.png
File:Cwc innocuous banter3.png
</gallery></center>

==Treatment==
On 26 July, [[Marvin]] mentioned that Chris possibly sought treatment,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/24-julay-2016-taint-megathread.22839/page-81#post-1629348</ref> later saying that Chris had switched from rubbing alcohol to a medically appropriate treatment.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/posts/1631512/</ref> The following day, Marvin commented that he had more belief that Chris was following his prescribed treatment. He also said that Chris was referring to the "wound," something which he would not have done if he didn't believe it, and that he rationalized the treatment by thinking that the labia simply hadn't been finished growing yet and would just erupt elsewhere.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/24-julay-2016-taint-megathread.22839/page-92#post-1631342</ref>

He later mentioned just how difficult it had been to get Chris to get to a doctor.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/24-julay-2016-taint-megathread.22839/page-118#post-1668190 (archive: https://archive.ph/hCk8e)</ref>

*Chris was pressured into going to the ER.
*However, he lied to the ER doctors and simply said that his testicles hurt, and based on that, the doctor prescribed Tylenol.
*Chris showed copies of the ER documents to the people who had told him to go there.
*They quickly determined he had lied and ordered him to go back, at which point he finally complied.

Chris himself did not publicly give an update on his treatment, being too embarrassed to bring it up. However, several months later, during a September 2016 interview, Chris is asked about the taint wound, and he gives a flustered response:

{{quote|Please, please, please! No comment! No comment! Everything’s healed up, it’s all good, I’m still alive, let’s just l – give that…let’s just leave that – lie – lay that down to rest.|Chris, [[BraveryJerk Interviews]]}}

==Actual series of events==
On 29 July, [[Marvin]] discussed the wound in Kiwi Farms's chatroom,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/24-julay-2016-taint-megathread.22839/page-118#post-1668190 (archive: https://archive.ph/hCk8e)</ref> mentioning that he believed it to be self-inflicted.

{{quoteboxgreen|btw, chris took a knife to his taint

chris cut his taint with a knife to free his vagina

chris was trying to impress some lesbians who laughed at him for not having a vagina

so chris' solution was to literally cut his taint open to free his vagina

the pick was a picture of his sliced open taint

chris' taint was 100% fine like two weeks ago

the [[Un-clit|piercing]] healed up fine very quickly

the piercing stopped existing like a year ago

he was drunk

fatty won't die… this time

he's seeing a doctor

i'm tired of playing counselor to an exceptional individual who thinks he can grow a vagina

we got pissed and bitched at chris until he went to the ER

we demanded chris send us pictures of the ER docs

the ER docs sounded like fatty went there and said "lol my nuts hurt" and the doctors was like "rolled eyes just take tylenol and call me if the pain gets worse"

we bitched at chris until he got an actual human to put him in stirrups and give him an opinion}}

Marvin also commented on the forum itself many months later.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-12-21-chris-reminiscences-about-moving-back-into-14bc-after-the-fire.26774/page-7#post-1962817</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.}}

==Gallery==
===Photos of the wound===
{{collapsible
|NSFL. THESE ARE IMAGES OF AN OPEN WOUND ON CHRIS'S TAINT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED|<center><gallery>
File:Labia NSFW.jpg|The "labia."
File:Taint wound labia 2 NSFW.jpg|Jesus fuck Chris...
</gallery></center>}}

===Screenshots of all Facebook posts===
<center><gallery>
File:Screenshot-www facebook com 2016-07-24 08-41-36.png
File:Screenshot-www facebook com 2016-07-24 11-20-59.png
File:Fb labia exam claim edited.png
File:Screenshot-www facebook com 2016-07-24 16-07-48.png
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]
*[[Un-clit]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}

[[Category:Gender dysphoria]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Un-clit

2023-04-03T17:06:13Z

Ellieisdone:

{{honest}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Tribbing.png|thumb|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT LINK GODDAMN]].]]
[[File:ChristheKarmaHoudini.PNG|thumb|Chris somehow got away with posting a link to a pornographic image.]]

The '''Un-clit''' was what [[Chris]] called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with [[Mia Hamm]]. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobos.
The taint is actually one of the most neglected parts of the body, and the most dirty, since it neighbors the anus. Since Chris rarely bathes himself, getting a taint piercing was a disaster waiting to happen.

After a couple of weeks, the piercing began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection." Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a ''safety pin''. This rather predictably resulted in the migration worsening, and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, his body still rejected it and [[Catherine|Catie]] eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether.

Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewelry, Chris [[Chris and money|wasted a grand total of about $200]] of his [[monthly tugboat]] on this.

==September 18th Facebook Status==
{{quotebox|Well. A whole Half a month without a new update on the trolls' website; I was hoping for longer than that. And I WAS going to make a [[Honest Content|public announcement]] about it anyway. But the cat is out of the bag now.

Anyway, I had something done to me that is Radical, that I did for my Lesbian Soul! I got a new piercing on my taint on Monday the 15th. About where my clitoris would be if I was a woman! It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my un-clit. I am tending to its cleaning personally in Daily Baths or Showers, as well as cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol twice daily.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, with no other outside opinions from anyone, have long been thinking about getting a piercing on my taint, with a steel sphere where my clitoris would be if I was born female, in my Soul identity as a Female and a [[Chris and English|Leabian]], as a fair substitute for that, and to stimulate the woman's clitoris via scissoring, YEARS ago after watching the Lesbian couple Tribbing each other in the soft core porn movie, "The Key to Sex".

And for those who don't know about Tribbing, it is more commonly known as Scissoring, Tribadism is when one woman rubs her vulva against the other woman's vulva, to stimulate each other's clitoris. In fact, there are clits that actually stick out, penetrating the labia and better stimulating the other clitoris. The female bonobo monkeys have long clits, and they trib other female bonobos a LOT of the time.

And to make sure EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ONCE AND FOR ALL: I am a FEMALE, LESBIAN SOUL TRAPPED IN A MALE BODY. Or to put it another way, I am a LESBIAN TRANSGENDER! I am Seriously Into Women! Males Offend Me, even my own [[duck|Penis]] Totally Grosses Me Out! I am glad that I tuck it underneath my taint, so I do not have to look down at the Ugly Bulge!

I HAVE Come Out as the Lesbian Transgender that I Always Have Been and Ever Will! And for everyone of you Sods who continue to mislabel me as a Homosexual Male, or hint towards anything of that even in distasteful jest, you all can kiss My [[china|Vagina]] Of My Soul!!!

Have a good day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribadism}}

Despite obviously violating the Community Guidelines, as well as being reported by [[Trolls|concerned Facebook users]], Facebook decided that no part of this status was considered pornographic enough to warrant being removed.

Chris appeared to have either gotten very bad advice about caring for his new piercing, or gotten good advice and ignored it. No knowledgeable body piercing provider would suggest cleaning a fresh piercing with rubbing alcohol, which is far too harsh a solvent. Chris's misguided aftercare regimen likely contributed to the piercing's rejection.

==Repiercing the Un-clit==
On 4 [[December 2014]], an update was released on the [[CWCki Forums]] (now [[Kiwi Farms]]) that Chris had re-pierced his taint. The new piercing jewelry was apparently made of gold. <ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-got-his-taint-repierced.6336/ ([https://archive.ph/YR6b5 archive])</ref>

{{quotebox|I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today.}}

{{quotebox|Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either.}}

{{quotebox|I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and safe day.}}

Re-piercing so soon after the first attempt was considered most unwise, as the first migration had had almost no time to heal, and many trolls were concerned that Chris's lack of general hygiene would lead to him risking septicemia.

Five days later, it was revealed that in addition to the new piercing, Chris was wearing a strap-on harness with the dildo removed to conceal his [[duck]] while he wore [[Tomgirl Saga|women's clothing]]. This raised additional concerns about the cleanliness of the pierced region.

==The End of the Un-clit==
{{quote|I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am giving up on that piercing now.|Chris has finally given up on the piercing.}}

A message from Chris leaked on the CWCki Forums on 12 December showed that he had removed the piercing due to the "patch of skin the jewelry was in ... shrinking again" (presumably referring to another migration). He stated he would "giv[e] up" on the Un-Clit.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-un-clit-is-no-more-chris-comes-to-his-senses.6467/ ([https://archive.ph/AhqNq archive])</ref> He was deeply disappointed with this outcome, however, and on [[C-Mas]] [[December 2014|2014]] still hoped that he could receive the gift of a "magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref> Santa seemingly did not oblige him, perhaps prompting Chris's malicious assault of a store employee on [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]].

==...or Is It?==
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}
On 24 [[July 2016]], Chris announced on Facebook that he had "grown labia". At first, people thought, from the pictures Chris helpfully shared, that the migrated skin from his piercing was turning into a wound and/or an abscess. In reality, while attempting D.I.Y. gender transition surgery, '''he had cut his taint open with a knife'''.

==Photos==
{{collapsible
|Not safe for work, life, the faint of heart, or anyone who values their sanity.|<center><gallery>
File:Unclit (NSFL).jpg|The piercing as it originally appeared.
File:Unclit (INFECTED!!!).jpg|The piercing after Chris' body began to reject it.
File:ChrisContraption 02.JPG|The duck strap.
File:ChrisContraption_03.JPG|The duck strap and un-clit, from under Chris.
File:ChrisContraption 05.JPG|The duck strap, from the left.
</gallery></center>}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]
{{CatherineSaga}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History

2023-04-02T03:20:49Z

Ellieisdone: /* History */

{{quote|Chris Chan. Arguably the most documented person in history.

His antics have been witnessed by millions, with many always keeping a close eye on him, waiting to see what he does next.

What made him this way? What is the attraction? What keeps us fascinated?

This is the story of Chris Chan.|[[Geno Samuel]]'s opening narration for the series, usually condensed to the last two lines after the premiere; starting in Part XLIV, feminine pronouns are used instead.}}

'''''Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History''''' is a documentary [[Internet|webseries]] created by [[Geno Samuel]], which began in [[February 2018]]. It is, as the name suggests, an extensive, in-depth documentary about [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s life, similar to [[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)|Sachumo]]'s. However, while Sachumo's film is an abridged summary of Chris's life for newcomers, Geno's videos go into greater detail, with most videos being between 35 to 45 minutes in length, with a decent portion of this being tied to the playback of Chris's own audio and video. As of Part LXXIII, the documentary series is 2 days, 3 hours, 26 minutes, and 3 seconds long.

The series is in chronological order, taking several videos just to cover Chris's life before his internet fame, with a significant portion of the series (28 episodes) dedicated to [[Saga|the troll-influenced events of 2009 and 2010]] – trolls had prodded Chris into producing many calls and videos at the time, which the series utilizes for playback. It presents the events of Chris's life in a mostly objective light, allowing watchers to pass their own judgment on Chris and the people around him. Nonetheless, Geno occasionally slips in dry, blunt observations over [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris's shortcomings]], along with summaries of how Chris's problems manifest themselves and worsen over time. Furthermore, he also manages to maintain a completely neutral, deadpan tone of voice when discussing the absolute absurdities present in Chris's life, and he reads spelling errors precisely as they are written, which leads to some of the documentary's most humorous moments despite being an overview of Chris's life.

Geno's narration also reflects Chris's changes in identity throughout the series, [[Christopher's name change|initially referring to him as "Christopher" before changing it to "Christian" in the first episode]] and using masculine pronouns for the bulk of the show's run, eventually shifting over to [[Transgender|calling Chris "Christine" and using feminine pronouns]] by the time that the series reaches the events of late [[2014]], when Chris began to transition. It remains to be seen if he will eventually revert to using masculine pronouns during Chris's extended period of being "[[Spirit possession|possessed]]" by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] through most of [[2020]] and part of [[2021]], although he has used masculine pronouns to describe Chris's past antics after this period in time. Beginning with Episode 61, Geno began altering the theme music to represent the [[Idea Guys]] saga. Since the saga in question ended in Episode 62, Geno has said that it would be reverted back in Episode 63, although a distorted, reversed version of the theme has consistently played over the credits since then.<ref>https://youtu.be/W3K30u0T5gI?t=1091/</ref>

The series is still ongoing, its latest episode covering events up to late [[October 2018]], and though Geno initially predicted that it would be around 50 episodes long by the time he reached the present day, the fiftieth episode ended up only reaching the events of mid-[[2016]]. Geno has since predicted that he would reach modern Christory by the eighty-ninth episode<ref>https://twitter.com/genosamuelgeno/status/1517274668004118528/</ref>, meaning that he has a laid out plan for the documentary. Once he's "caught up" with [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]], Geno plans to continue the series incrementally until it ultimately reaches [[Chris and death#Chris himself (1982–)|its logical conclusion]]. [[Christorical eras|It will take a while to get to the present, in any case]].

The documentary series has inspired a considerable amount of new discussion related to Chris, which has predictably produced more [[Weening|weens]] who mistakenly think that "modern" Chris acts like he once did during the so-called "Classic Era" – much of the context behind trolling was never publicly released by Chris's trolls, making it appear as if many of Chris's actions during troll sagas were his own ideas. The documentary itself eventually ended up being a part of Christory in a more direct fashion, as several people who would go on to interact with Chris either found out about him, or were influenced by, the series. Furthermore, Chris is aware of the series, and has commented on it several times over [[Twitter]] and [[YouTube]], usually expressing approval of Geno's attention to detail.

In light of the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] reveal, Geno, like everyone else, was utterly flabbergasted by the extremely dark turn that Christory took.<ref>https://twitter.com/genosamuelgeno/status/1421139988138188804</ref> Geno then announced, via his [[Patreon]], that the series would be taking an extended hiatus following the release of Episode 59. He explained that he felt that it would be potentially tasteless and exploitative to continue the series immediately after Chris's appalling actions came to light, so he informed his patrons that he would not be completing and releasing new episodes of the series until early 2022.<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/stopping-now-54330974</ref> During that time, Geno redirected his attention to work on his other documentaries and music projects. The series officially resumed on 24 February 2022, [[Chris's birthday|Chris's 40th birthday]].

==History==

Geno attempted to monetize his GenoSamuel2 channel. On 13 [[June 2018|June of that year]], when it was his turn to be reviewed by YouTube staff for the monetization program, they instead issued community guideline strikes due to the clips of bullying featured in the videos, and as a result his channel was terminated.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/bpe1lz/its_coming_cant_wait_for_the_new_material/enu9fug/</ref> Geno confirmed that he did send an appeal form, but YouTube never gave him his channel back. Fans reuploaded all of the episodes made prior to the strike and Geno created a new backup channel on YouTube where the series would be uploaded from then on.

A week later, Geno revealed on the backup channel he would be taking a long break from the videos, stating that he was getting tired of always having to have Chris in his mind when making the documentary. He said that he will continue working on them sometime near the end of the year.

On 3 [[January 2019]], he announced on his [[Twitter]] in the form of a teaser poster that the series would be coming back on 24 [[February 2019]], which also happens to be [[Chris's birthday|Chris's birthday]]. The new series contains updated audio, additional and corrected information and some modifications to prevent another takedown. He also mentioned that he would not be monetizing the videos out of respect.

Geno said that Chris knew of the original run of the series and approved of it.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyrkBzO-WY8&t</ref>

In [[July 2020]], Geno announced the series would go on hiatus again until [[August 2020|August]]; however, the series resumed slightly earlier than expected, as Part 41 premiered on 31 July.

On 14 September, Geno posted a message explaining why he decided to use feminine pronouns to refer to Chris beginning from Part 43:<ref>https://www.youtube.com/post/UgyQY_S-ex_qB7nUns94AaABCQ [https://web.archive.org/web/20211002154846/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_3pplzbKMZsP5zBH_6SVJQ/community?lb=UgyQY_S-ex_qB7nUns94AaABCQ (archive)]</ref>

{{quotebox|[[Sonic Boom Protests|CHRIS CHAN’S PRONOUNS ARE NOT SHE/HER, AND THEY SERIOUSLY CAUSE SENSORY OVERLOADS IN ME!!! GENO NEEDS TO RECALL EVERYTHING REFERRING TO HIM AS A WOMAN AND CHANGE CHRIS’ GENDER BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!]] 
[[My Little Pony Protests|FOLLOW ME IN BOYCOTTING ''CHRIS CHAN: A COMPREHENSIVE HISTORY'', UNTIL GENO WISES UP, RECALLS EVERYTHING AND CHANGES HIS PRONOUNS BACK, NOW!!!]] 
[[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|Join My Group, FIX CHRIS CHAN’S PRONOUNS IMMEDIATELY, GENO!!!, and Sign Our Petition NOW!!!]] 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fixCHRISCHANSpronounsImmediatelyGENO 
[[Christian Weston Chandler|This is what you sound like.]]

But seriously, yes, the transition happened, and has already caused an uproar which I doubt will subside. This would have happened anyway if I didn’t change it; I would have a different vocal minority yelling about it.
The change does not reflect my personal opinions, and even if they did, the star of the series’ name now would still be “Christine.” I must deal with the reality at hand. I started calling Christopher “Christian” [[Christopher's name change|when he wanted to be called that]], and now I just started referring to her as a woman with the name of “Christine.” The video series should not be seen as a voice of reason, or as a preacher with a message. It is an opportunity to give Chris a voice, and to offer a better understanding of her thoughts through the very many experiences meticulously documented in her life. It is up to you to make whatever you want with the information given. As the [[Anchuent Prophecy|ancient]] [[Cherokian Clan|Indian]] proverb goes, “[[Pmurt|It is what it is.]]”}}

[[File:Donald Trump - A Comprehensive History.PNG|thumb|200px|Some of the altered episode names and thumbnails]]
[[File:ChrisGenoAprilFoolsReaction.jpeg|thumb|200px|left|Chris's complaint to Geno about the April Fool's joke.]]

On 1 [[April 2021]], Geno commemorated April Fool's Day by changing the title of the series to ''[[Pmurt|Donald Trump: A Comprehensive History]]'', and altered the thumbnails of every video in the series to include images of him.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210401070110/https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLABqEYq6H3vpCmsmyUnHnfMOeAnjBdSNm WayBack Machine: 1 April 2021]</ref> The content of the videos themselves, however, remained unchanged. Chris did not take kindly to this, privately messaging Geno over Twitter to complain about the alteration.

On 31 [[July 2021]], Geno decided to put the series on hiatus following the release of Episode 59, in light of the incest situation. He had originally planned to do so after Episode 60, but opted to take a break from the series for multiple reasons.

On 1 [[October 2021]], Geno was featured on [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcmxOGYGF51T1XsqQLewGtQ TrashTaste], a podcast featuring a group of anime YouTubers, thereby exposing Chris to millions of weebs everywhere. In the podcast Geno expressed his desire to also follow his other passions, not wanting to be known as "The Chris Chan guy". When asked how many episodes were possibly left, he replied <q>maybe another 10 episodes</q>. He also said <q>if the opportunity arises… if I can get something done with Netflix, this could be a stepping stone.</q><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FciJamr2z1Q</ref>


On 24 [[February 2022]], After a 208-day hiatus, Part LX gets released.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBN4_57TuMY</ref>

On 1 [[April 2022]], Geno did another April Fool's Day joke by changing his username to Tekken Time Bomb and swapping all of the titles and thumbnails of the videos with clickbait on subjects unrelated to Chris, renaming the playlist "Freshest Videos".<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20220401133734/https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLABqEYq6H3vpCmsmyUnHnfMOeAnjBdSNm WayBack Machine: 1 April 2022]</ref> Nonetheless, the titles and thumbnails all cleverly alluded to details discussed in the videos themselves.

On April 1 2023, Geno uploaded part 74, which started off relatively normal and stating information that happened at the time of late 2019, the events being Chris’s conflicts with ween [[Ben Saint]] and [[Jacob Sockness]], with chris getting worse mentally with every episode. It seemed like Geno decided to skip of on the holiday that year, However, the tone changed suddenly when a call with Ben Saint and Chris occurred, with Chris coming to the realization of how ridiculous he was being, and taking accountability of his actions, and finally accepting that the merge was a lie.
Chris noticeably sounded different in this call, sounding more feminine, still stuttering but able to speak at a much faster pace. Geno further recounts a couple more life updates that was revealed, such as Chris getting a job at target, getting married to a boyfriend free coworker named Bella during [[July 2021]] resulting in #CHRISCHANDIDWHAT, and finally ending the series with the conclusion that Chris ended up growing up, despite it taking awhile for him to come to terms with it, with a more happy rendition of the theme song that plays at the end of every episode.

Of course, this was another April fools day joke, but one that made Christorians cry.

==Mentions by Chris==
In [[August 2019]], Chris, while in his phase of role-playing as [[Magi-Chan]], began "binge-listening" to the series<ref>https://twitter.com/MagiChan111448/status/1165401077619073024</ref> (suggesting that, like with the [[Sachumo]] documentary, Chris couldn't bear to actually watch the videos). Chris would make comments on the videos as Magi-Chan via Twitter, and as himself in YouTube's comment section.

Chris's interest in the series continued after his phrase of role-playing as Magi-Chan ended, eventually watching the series as opposed to just listening.

*"quite curious, when you think about it, from the ''Animal Crossing'' Video, Christine calls for ''Sonic Heroes'' being GameCube exclusive; she gave premonition to the Nintendo-Exclusive ''Sonic'' titles."<ref>https://twitter.com/MagiChan111448/status/1165329837071962117</ref>

*He noted exactly which cartoons and games [[Megan Schroeder]] had introduced him to over a decade prior "just for the record and Megan's reference", those being ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' and ''Tekken'' OC Yoshimitsu, also saying he'd been a fan of ''[[My Little Pony]]'' and ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' before meeting Megan.<ref>https://twitter.com/MagiChan111448/status/1165401077619073024</ref>

*"You made me laugh when you stiltedly read, 'You don't have to tell me twice. But back in the Stone Age...' Just simply how you said it cracked me up. Reminder, the end of that joke is, '...you Really needed to tell them twice'; you couldn't get it through their heads at all."<ref>https://twitter.com/MagiChan111448/status/1165401077619073024</ref>

*Chris viewed his past homophobia with regret.<ref>https://twitter.com/MagiChan111448/status/1166479203585466368</ref>

*Chris commented on Part 24 in YouTube's comment section, claiming that he had known [[Alec Benson Leary]] was a troll, among other dubious remarks:

{{quotebox|I remember those times, and it was cringing to hear myself drone ON and ON just in thinking he was going to clear those ads from my old website. [[Lie|Subconsciously, I had always Known he and his crew were Trolling me the whole time]], and it showed in how I reacted later on. And, yet, while partly oblivious, I Was Trolling Alec At the time. And I take no shame in it, because he was Trolling Me. I saw through his charade and showed it in how he treated everyone in my few pages, as he had already done, and worse, in his pages. It only added fuel to the nobility of pulling the plug on the [[Cwcipedia]] to save myself, my arts, and my peoples and family, he from the shit I was having to deal with from those bastards. [[PsychicPowers|Psychic Powers]] were strong within me in the later part of this video. And they have only gotten stronger over the years into now, despite my having the many more trials to endure and learn from.<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ffLGSfQf8o&lc=UgxvWUOajowz_kPacNd4AaABAg Link to video], and [https://web.archive.org/web/20191023182218/http://web.archive.org/screenshot/https://youtu.be/1ffLGSfQf8o archive.org's screenshot of the comments section.]</ref>}}

*Chris tweeted on Part 31, about the [[100 2270]] video he filmed on 7 October 2010:<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1236699315302797312</ref>

{{quotebox|[[File:Chris watches CCCS Part 31.jpg|thumb|200px]]

This Part, starting from 16:30, I forgot I made this video. It was soo Stupid, it is genuinely hilarious.

Rolling on the floor laughing

I guess it was in the high-energetic, loud voice I used that day to imitate Liquid Chris. ALOL!

“yamosexual”? Get ready for a meme of that word.}}

In summer 2020, during Chris's phase of [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Chris continued commenting on the series.

*About Part 38, Chris laughed about the goofy facial expressions he had made in [[Message for John Kyle]].<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Chris talks about Genosamuel's Documentary]]</ref>

*About Part 39, an angry Chris complained about Geno reading an e-mail from the [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014]] collection in which Chris had privately talked about [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|shoving his own penis into his buttcrack]]. He also whined about Geno's coverage of the [[2014 house fire|house fire]].

{{quoteboxyellow|Hey! Firstly, that door to the bathroom downstairs was unable to close at all back in 2013 and early ‘14. Second, Why the Hell would you read that personal shit about [[Mama]] with [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Chris fucks himself|the penis thing]]? [[God complex|Oh, My Chris Chan]]! Why did [[Kim Wilson|Kim]] have to be such a literal [[Troll]] to totally expose these things when they were shared with her in strictest confidence? “Kim Wilson”, if that is even your real name at this point, Mama may forgive you to an extent, but I, Sonichu, am truly insulted by this shit stunt you’ve pulled with her trust in betrayal over the years.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zSpn0ZNwqQ&lc=UgzdoujDjuYP-1upCml4AaABAg</ref>}}

*About part 42, Chris commented on the [[Brushfire Video]]:

{{quoteboxyellow|For the record, when Mama recorded that putting out the fire video, she and Barb were literally still recovering from the house fire earlier that year. Sight of fire gave Mama a whole bunch of PTSD for the number of years.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=karTjT_4Gbc&lc=UgwK8W6anDfgeWo3YGR4AaABAg</ref>}}

*About part 44, Chris thanked Geno for referring to him with his preferred pronouns, as the series had entered the point of Chris's [[transgender]]ism.

{{quoteboxyellow| Finally, you got the pronoun right with Mama Chris Chan; thanks, Geno. Better late than never. 😊⚡️<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5MdSQG0B_c&lc=Ugzapm793HOq50Jjq7p4AaABAg</ref>}}

After the Sonichu spirit possession ended, Chris still commented on videos- albeit as Chris himself, once more.

*About Part 52, Chris commented on his distaste of [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] and the predictions he made.

{{quotebox|I predicted how horribly Trump was going to do. Who was right all along? Me. ⚡️💙⚡️
Trump was a Mean King, and he did not get our votes then or again.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os51Bmrr0Kw&lc=UgwYOZd_fR_CdoQ_K-l4AaABAg&ab_channel=GenoSamuel2.1</ref>}}

*About Part 54, Chris made a [[Random-access humor|joke]] regarding the episode's Roman numbering (LIV).
{{quotebox|Part LIVe! On the Internet!<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUHnLlqY6SI&lc=UgzA39cP4b-MEVr78AN4AaABAg&ab_channel=GenoSamuel2.1</ref>}}

*About Part 56, Chris promoted the as-of-yet unreleased next episode of the series, claiming it would cover the events of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.
{{quotebox|Tune in next video for Idea Guy, Johnson Wiles, and Stephen Boyd, or that, among which, is chronicled in “Awakening of a CPU”.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hydR9nksHSg&lc=Ugx3w3o9-QZT0EL3Tb54AaABAg&ab_channel=GenoSamuel2.1</ref>}}
Part 57 did not, in fact, bring up the Idea Guys. They eventually made their first appearance only by Part 59.

*In July 2021, [[The WCT]] and Chris discussed the series and potential upcoming episodes. Chris believed that "[[Spirit possession|the ten and a half months when Sonichu Prime and I were body-swapped]]" would be one of the last sagas people would find entertaining.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Bismuth and Geno]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==What is the attraction?==

In his 100k subscriber Q&A special uploaded in December of 2020, Geno answered a question Chris had posted from the CwcvilleGuardian account. Roleplaying as Sonichu, Chris asked what Geno believed to be the draw of himself and life story.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcGzQrkKHo0</ref>

{{quoteboxyellow|Hey, Geno. I, Sonichu, offer a sentiment of support and kind thoughts in response to this. Congratulations, Dude. But I do have a question, as well (feel free to get really Metaphysical about it; break your own fourth walls). Given every single possibility between this and all other dimensions in this Omega timeline set we live in, including that Mama Chris Chan, herself, being the OC of OCs, could also have been [[Messiah complex|a creator of all Original Creators, including yourself]], if not that one major influential aspect, What do you feel is the most significant factor that attracts everyone's attention, including yourself, to her?

In short, What do You feel and think is the attraction; what makes you fascinated about Chris Chan?}}

Geno answered Chris's inquiry at 1:10:28 as the final question of the video, stating that he found it fascinating due to how it cannot be replicated today and how Chris and various trolls created an entire fantasy world which Chris lived – and continues to live – in:

{{quotebox|The attraction is that the story of Chris Chan came about during a very interesting time on the internet: of course, because this could not technically really happen in real life as much as it did here. It was a difficult time on the internet where it was kinda like a Wild West situation, where there was a lot more focused on trolling and bullying and saying whatever the hell you want without any consequences. And people were getting in touch with the internet and posting videos and showing themselves off online a lot, without maybe understanding the consequences of what bad things might happen to them. You know, all the bullying that Chris took from the trolls, it's like a wonderful mix of belief in self mixed in with trolls' ambitions to work against or for that belief – to create this sort of fictional universe for Chris. Which [[Idea Guys|Chris ended up believing wholeheartedly]], recently. It's a product of its time, really. You can't really replicate it these days – because I think the internet has now a lot more safeguards against this sort of carry-on. And Chris is a very unique individual. I think you might know that very well. He's very unique, a product of his own upbringing and of his own [[autism]]. And that's what keeps me fascinated. It's almost like a fictional universe created artificially in a real life universe, you might say. Um, and I can understand how this can get really metaphysical because I kinda feel like the trolls and Chris kinda helped each other to create this fictional universe for each other. Though some people believed in it a lot more than others. And that's – I think – a big reason why Sonichu/Christine might think the same way about being the, uh, "creator" of real creations, because they are alive in a sense. If you believe in it, they are alive – the characters. You might treat them as alive to an extent. I think it's a bit too much to say that they do exist in an alternate dimension – I don't believe in that at all – but they do exist as much as you want them to exist. It's all up to you. It's all up to the human mind – each individual brain – what you think. It's all up to you – whether you want to improve yourself, or whether you want to go down this path or that path, whether you want to listen to your [[Mary Lee Walsh|superiors]] or not. It really is all up to you – and your world is whatever you want to make of it. Be it intentionally want to make of it or unintentionally want to make of it, consciously or subconsciously. And that's the story of why I find it fascinating.}}

===Video===
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100k Q&A
| ytid = dcGzQrkKHo0
| stardate = 13 [[December 2020]]
| maker = Geno Samuel
| subject =
| type =
| info = }}

==Influence==
{{Incomplete|Information on Bella}}
{{quote|I first fell in love with Christian Weston Chandler and thought I had a big brother when I watched the original run of Geno Samuel's documentaries.|Jacob Sockness<ref name=sockness>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/drxzg7/am_i_responsible_for_the_sockness_saga/</ref>}}

Geno's documentary is often noted for either introducing many people to Christory or having an influence on it.

* [[Jacob Sockness]]<ref name=sockness></ref>: An enabler who wanted to have sex with Chris.

* [[The WCT]]<ref name="WCTWiki">[https://the-egs-reupload.fandom.com/wiki/The_WCT?oldid=564 "The WCT" - EGS Reupload Wiki] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210811043202/https://the-egs-reupload.fandom.com/wiki/The_WCT (archive)]</ref>: A member of the [[Watchmen]] white knight/enabler group. While it's unknown whether WCT knew of Chris prior to the ''Comprehensive History'', WCT was "fascinated" by the series itself. WCT was also in GenoSamuel's Discord server where he met the Watchman member [[Naught]].

* [[Bella]]{{cite}}: A troll who Chris confided in about his incestuous relationship with his mother.

* [[The Suitress]]<ref>[https://archive.ph/cV5W0 I have a full-blown crush on CWC and I feel absolutely insane]</ref>: A young woman and enabler who became infatuated with Chris. While she claimed to have been introduced to Chris through Deadwing Dork, she would also watch the series on end, and become an active member in the CWCSphere soon after.

* [[KwaiiSandbag]]: An enabler who role-played as a psychic and influenced Chris to end his phase of [[role-play]]ing as Sonichu.

==Episodes (both original and revised)==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Part
!align="left"|Link
!align="left"|Year(s)
!align="left"|Event timeline
|-
|1
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgxj_0xPleg Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBvJa1xyE-4 Original])
|1982-2000
|[[1980s#1982|Birth]] to his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]].
|-
|2
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3QMqssyBwQ Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPdcWbBbUtY Original])
|2000-2004
|Enrollment in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] to the [[autism papers]].
|-
|3
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxWLdbRv7Uo Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt-vXrZvQ20 Original])
|2004-2006
|[[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|C-Mas 2004]] to Chris's graduation from PVCC.
|-
|4
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XNxhKpigzY Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GiiN4XYfJQ Original])
|2006-2007
|Release of [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] to [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|Chris's message]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].
|-
|5
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxW4-_mCo-I Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA9Z_tXdRKI Original])
|2007-2008
|Chris finally caving into [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|editing his ED page]] to the [[Sonichu Game Talk]] video.
|-
|6
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NncBco0Hck4 Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA9Z_tXdRKI Original]) ([https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SdolXySgEUPAatIUWEOKStXuqjzaYBE9/view?usp=sharing Revised and Uncensored])
|2008
|Chris [[Blanca Emails, August 2008|emailing]] [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] about porn to the desecration of his [[Medallions#Mark 1 (and decoy)|medallion]].
|-
|7
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOnVFhqvUNM Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylhPXIXBTIE Original])
|2008-2009
|Chris [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]] to [[Clyde Cash]] revealing himself.
|-
|8
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6saw-Ik0o Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWSWmgqz8ok Original])
|2009
|[[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san]] to the Australian brushfires of [[2009]].
|-
|9
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WisyzQW9BYU Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pgO5MwN0pM Original])
|2009
|[[CWC Update 8 February 2009]] to Chris preparing for [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral.
|-
|10
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTjCsNGBKUo Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrODxoJKRz0 Original])
|2009
|Aunt Corrina's funeral to [[Robert Simmons V]]'s [[Church audio|church visit]].
|-
|11
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2tUU9ytpY8 Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3YzUZN2Hog Original])
|2009
|[[Apology to Emily]] to [[YouTube Finale]].
|-
|12
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP_4JCZkiQ4 Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je0IuVlvdug Original])
|2009
|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica#1 April 2009|ED's 2009 April Fools' Day prank]] to the hacking of [[CWC's Sonichu Site!#cwcville.com (April 2009 ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ May 2009)|cwcville.com]].
|-
|13
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDffEuoQDtM Current] ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8mpA_fSzcc Original])
|2009
|[[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters]] to [[Do Not Dis C Ville]].
|-
|14
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3-bD2Wyaec Current]
|2009
|[[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] to [[Liquid Chris]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 3#CChanSonichuCWC's Bonus Video|revealing]] Chris's [[Ian Brandon Anderson|"real" name]].
|-
|15
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EdNmDVOQow Current]
|2009
|[[C.W.C. - Thank You :)]] to [[LOOK at the truth!]].
|-
|16
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6A7czciKFA Current]
|2009
|Chris's ''circa'' August 2009 meeting with [[Kim Wilson]] and [[Kacey]] at Applebee's to [[Kacey Call 4]].
|-
|17
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBkuKp6OjUo Current]
|2009
|Chris's [[September 2009]] [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|death threat]] to [[Vivian Gee]] to [[Kacey Call 21]].
|-
|18
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzlFJxKLBO0 Current]
|2009
|[[Chris-chan Discusses...#Chris-chan Discusses... Transformers|Final installment]] of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Chris's interview with Larry Bundy Jr.]] to [[To Clyde Gregg#Another One for Clyde Gregg|Another One for Clyde Gregg]].
|-
|19
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1qDg0Vmp2g Current]
|2009
|Chris opening his "[[YouTube#ClydeGreggCashMays (October 2009 – November 2009)|ClydeGreggCashMays]]" account on YouTube to the [[Father Call]].
|-
|20
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r2MM9Aetv0 Current]
|2009
|[[11042009 51 50|Chris's 51 bicep curl video]] to the [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]].
|-
|21
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXE7QZntZtU Current]
|2009
|[[Prank calls#Failed Prank Call|Failed Prank Call]] to Chris answering [[Mailbag 13]].
|-
|22
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V38EZ7I8c-A Current]
|2009-2010
|[[Fanmail Reading|12102009 - Fanmail Reading.MP4]] to [[14 January 2010|01142010.MOV]].
|-
|23
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2FB0hHfrk0 Current]
|2010
|[[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N]] to [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]].
|-
|24
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ffLGSfQf8o Current]
|2010
|[[Apologies to Alec and Evan]] to Chris answering [[Mailbag 52]].
|-
|25
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5GgVLk2Tio Current]
|2010
|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] to the release of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].
|-
|26
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX_fOd7pFc4 Current]
|2010
|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]] to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV]].
|-
|27
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxYfdJxqY_M Current]
|2010
|[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]] to [[Greene County Conspiracy]].
|-
|28
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62Cthb7G-pU Current]
|2010
|[[05142010|Yeardley Love video]] to [[JenkinsJinkies]]' [[User talk:JenkinsJinkies|conversation with Clyde]].
|-
|29
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9tkCwNaX-A Current]
|2010
|Chris's [[McIntire Park#Independence Day Sighting|4 July 2010 visit]] to [[McIntire Park]] to [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]].
|-
|30
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjr6JgWWkV0 Current]
|2010
|[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]] to [[Jackie E-mails 16]].
|-
|31
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdA9A8h_oYQ Current]
|2010
|[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]] to [[A Public Announcement for Congress]].
|-
|32
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQwREsoM3oc Current]
|2010
|[[Pregnant Act]] to [[ToJackie]].
|-
|33
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE4ETdYm6tg Current]
|2010
|[[Jackie E-mails 20]] to [[100 2357.MOV]].
|-
|34
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKXtK2SqanQ Current]
|2010 - 2011
|[[Jackie E-mails 23]] to [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012]].
|-
|35
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJzngZrtp04 Current]
|2011
|Creation of the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum to [[The Red-Maned Deer]].
|-
|36
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOqLWF_iWns Current]
|2011
|[[Kaka Makeup Basics]] to the [[Rocky Shoemaker call]].
|-
|37
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx2CgXqdxMw Current]
|2012
|Chris's [[January 2012 Facebook Posts|January 2012]] [[Facebook]] posts to the [[28 October 2011|July 2012 settlement]] of the Michael Snyder case.
|-
|38
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBOyq64x8yk Current]
|2012-2013
|''[[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]]'' to Chris's [[September 2013 Facebook Posts|September 2013 Facebook posts]] about Lego minifigs.
|-
|39
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zSpn0ZNwqQ Current]
|2013-2014
|[[October 2013 Facebook Posts|October 2013 Facebook posts]] to [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014]].
|-
|40
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95_A-_W37qk Current]
|2014
|[[May 2014 Facebook Posts|May 2014 Facebook posts]] to him finishing his first leg of his date with [[Catherine]].
|-
|41
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55EsycjHeJs Current]
|2014
|Second leg of his date with [[Catherine]] to Chris addressing his reasoning for the [[Medallions#The Mr. Smith Situation|Mr. Smith situation]].
|-
|42
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=karTjT_4Gbc Current]
|2014
|Start of the [[Sonic Boom Protests]] to the end of the [[Keep Sonic Original]] page.
|-
|43
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyNfJQbg9o8 Current]
|2014-2015
|[[Sonic Boom Protests#Pickle Joke|Possible reference to Chris's distaste for]] [[pickle]]s in an episode of ''Sonic Boom'' to [[March 2015 Facebook posts#Redundancy|a comment made by him on the official ''My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic'' Facebook page]] in March 2015. This is the first episode to use feminine pronouns to describe Chris.
|-
|44
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5MdSQG0B_c Current]
|2015
|[[26 December 2014#2 April Hearing|Chris's second hearing]] for the Boxing Day macing to his [[July 2015 Facebook Posts#Endless Horror|"Pink Fresh Lemonade" drawing]]. Debuts a new version of the intro, using feminine pronouns.
|-
|45
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-v3Iefr58U Current]
|2015
|[[List of places that have banned Chris#Facebook|Chris's temporary ban from Facebook]] to [[Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!]]
|-
|46
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtELwaQYTK0 Current]
|2015
|[[Donation Options Reviewed.]] to [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]].
|-
|47
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07p94FYn1zM Current]
|2015-2016
|[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#A Fun Visual|Chris' 1 December 2015 Facebook post about his bed]] to [[Update, 1/22/2016, and new items for Cwcville Shopping.]]
|-
|48
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INP-_0MDS9U Current]
|2016
|[[CatKnight Interview]] to [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]
|-
|49
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8h-ja6dftY Current]
|2016
|[[Happy Pokémon Day.]] to [[Please, Donate]].
|-
|50
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPDwMta3fRs Current]
|2016
|[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] to [[Donations Requested, Please]].
|-
|51
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qc3QE-E9Yw Current]
|2016
|[[Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1]] to Chris's Facebook [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|post]] regarding [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]].
|-
|52
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os51Bmrr0Kw Current]
|2016
|Chris's [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Get off your ass, Cole!|Facebook announcement]] to [[Cole Smithey]] to [[Feelings of the election results]].
|-
|53
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXsr45VigJs Current]
|2016-2017
|[[I Tweet AND Post Simultaneously]] to Chris's first interactions with [[DoopieDoOver]].
|-
|54
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUHnLlqY6SI Current]
|2017
|[[2017 tweets#Don't be blinded impulsively|Chris offering words of wisdom]] to [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017]].
|-
|55
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZgaHw3y66w Current]
|2017
|[[Live Drawing Streams#05082017|Chris's first ''Sonichu'' Issue #11 livestream]] to [[July 2017 tweets#Doopie knows about Chris|Doopie confirming that she knew about Chris's old antics]].
|-
|56
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hydR9nksHSg Current]
|2017
|[[July 2017 tweets#Chris downplays the macing incident while simping for the Planet Dolan crew|Chris interacting with the Planet Dolan crew]] to [[Night Star#Chris spills the beans|Chris revealing that he was behind the NightStar2891 account]].
|-
|57
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXZOVgot6a4 Current]
|2017
|[[August 2017 tweets#Chris's pizza observation|Chris's pizza observation]] to [[Jessica Quinn#Relationship with Kiwi Farms|Jessica Quinn's conversation with Moonman's Son]].
|-
|58
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f_aVxYQeHo Current]
|2017
|[[September 2017 Facebook posts#Jessica Quinn .3D Lovely Weather|Chris comparing Jessica Quinn to Lovely Weather]] to [[October 2017 tweets#Quinnspiracy|Chris rationalizing that Quinn wasn't a troll]].
|-
|59
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk-1uVPwrs0 Current]
|2017
|[[Sonichu_12|Creation of Sonichu 12]] to [[Operation_BARBarossa|the Facebook post about Operation BARBarossa]].
|-
|60
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBN4_57TuMY Current]
|2017-2018
| [[November 2017 tweets#The only person with Heterochromia|Chris's tweet about a Heterochromia customization in Sonic Forces]] to [[February 2018 Facebook Posts#Christian Love Day|the Facebook post celebrating his 36th birthday]].
|-
|61
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40wYDbcfYEg Current]
|2018
| The growth of the amount of [[Idea Guys]] to [[April 2018 social media posts#Brainwashing from Idea Guys|a string of tweets Chris posted about his fetishes.]]
|-
|-
|62
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHJ0x53ik34 Current]
|2018
| [[Twitch#CLog_04172018_-_Buy_My_Toys|Chris streaming on Twitch urging others to buy his eBay items]] to [[WE_NEED_MONEY_FOR_MORTGAGE_NOW,_PLEASE#Please.2C_HELP_US.21_FORECLOSURE_RISK_HIGH.21|a desperate plea video for monetary donations.]]
|-
|-
|63
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVMhrr5xkMI Current]
|2018
| [[May 2018 social media posts#Chris gets a new phone, wants to sell old phone|A Twitter post of Chris attempting to sell his old phone on eBay]] to [[Nightstar_is_a_very_important_Special_Sonichu|a video in which he states the importance of his ponysona Night Star.]]
|-
|-
|64
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa8HBIb1RMs Current]
|2018
| [[TooManyGames#At_the_con|Justin Silverman emailing Chris about his fundraising campaign to get to the convention]] to [[BronyCon_2018|Chris leaving BronyCon 2018.]]
|-
|65
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVF5KepFaxM Current]
|2018
| [[Waiting for the tow truck]] to [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]]
|-
|66
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z9WHi2CMlg Current]
|2018
| [[August_2018_social_media_posts#So_where_is_the_Wikipedia_Article_about_me?|A tweet from Chris in which he asks for the whereabouts of his Wikipedia page]] to [[Misc_texts#Sorbet_deceased|a text message in which Chris states his lost cat Sorbet had died and merged with his counterpart in the sister dimension.]]
|-
|67
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXKgagZawBI Current]
|2018-2019
|Description.
|-
|68
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XneFqMrLLNw Current]
|2019
|Description.
|-
|69
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sJdb6HBw78 Current]
|2019
|Description.
|-
|70
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw9OtvE0r6Q Current]
|2019
|From [[Bryanfrogboy]]'s prequel video to [[Sarah and Steve]] defending their enabling on [[Twitter]].
|-
|71
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mRucAOtJZw&ab_channel=GenoSamuel2.1 Current]
|2019
|From [[Pappy Van Poodle Interview]] to _.
|-
|72
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHyuvFpEXak Current]
|2019
|From [[Misc_texts#Thinking_of_selling_bath_water|Thinking of selling bath water]] to [[First recorded statement of Magi-Chan Sonichu - August 15, 2019]].
|-
|73
|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvPvr-D9nZI Current]
|2019
|From [[August_2019_social_media_posts#Chris_and_Magi-Chan_are_luminaries|Chris and Magi-Chan are luminaries]] to [[October_2019_social_media_posts#Chris_orders_the_Shipfic_cards,_snaps_at_customers_wanting_books|Chris orders the Shipfic cards, snaps at customers wanting books]].
|-
|74
|[https://youtu.be/pyWoYB0ppLk Current]
|2019-2023
|An April fools joke that gives a false good ending to Christory.
|}

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History - Without Context
| stardate = 10 [[February 2021]]
|video= {{#ev:youtube|dEbBW3SsP88}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Geno Samuel]]
*[[Geno Samuel DMs]]

{{References}}

==External links==
*[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHwMkmOmNeJr-M8SR6lzuwIgfFZHnTau1 Playlist of old version]
*[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLABqEYq6H3vpCmsmyUnHnfMOeAnjBdSNm Playlist of current version]
*[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-1XyJSh9umIGMBHqFIOq-MJxVPOLfG50 Playlist of a mixture of old and current]
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_3pplzbKMZsP5zBH_6SVJQ/featured?disable_polymer=1 Geno's backup channel]
*[https://www.youtube.com/user/GenoSamuel1994Part2 Geno's main channel]

{{Documentaries}}
{{People}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Documentaries]]

Lolisa Rosechu

2023-03-20T17:43:18Z

Ellieisdone: /* Comic appearances */

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Lolis.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Lolisa Rosechu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| [[Sonichu chronology#1987|1987]] (in universe)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Length'''
| 5'4" (163 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric, then demoted to Normal
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Rosey]] (Trade with Blue Flute)
|-
|}
[[File:Lolisa.jpg|thumb|100px|It's 99.99% likely that Chris [[mass debating|mass debated]] to this image.]]
{{Quote|Lolisa is of Radio DJ and Co-Host personality; she keeps up with the latest news and trends, sad from bad news; happy from good news, honest and punctual.|Chris attempts to describe Lolisa's personality<ref>[[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff]]</ref>}}

'''Lolisa''' is a [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] of unknown origin. She is [[Jamsta Sonichu]]'s partner at [[KCWC]], as well as his girlfriend. If you thought the other Rosechus were [[Women's rights|hollow, vapid shells]], you ain't seen nothin' yet — Lolisa couldn't be more of a non-character if she tried. She has no character history, no relevance to the plot (such as it is), and doesn't even have a token element to specialize in. She just exists so Jamsta could have a girlfriend around, dispelling rumors that he's [[Homos|gay]].

==Origin==
Lolisa is the second-oldest [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] and oldest Rosechu in the comic. She was hatched "somewhere private" in [[Sonichu chronology#1987|1987]], but as [[Rosechu]] was discovered first, her name became the species name.<ref>[[Mailbag 2]]</ref>

When confronted about this discrepancy in the [[mailbag]], Chris waves the concept aside by claiming that both Lolisa and Jamsta simply hatched in a private location and weren't catalogued until after Sonichu and Rosechu were discovered.

She and [[DJ Jamsta]] "lost their electric abilities long ago, so they both are Normal types; they make up for it in their musicality."<ref>[[September 2017 Patreon posts#Page 70]]</ref>

==Comic appearances==
===[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]===
Lolisa convinces [[Rosechu]] to allow [[Zapina]] to be present at the [[Women's rights]] stripping protest. Most people would consider this as grooming a child for sexual abuse.

Oddly enough, Lolisa is one letter off from Lolita, a 1955 novel about a pedophile who preys on his 12 year old stepdaughter.

Lolisa briefly (and vapidly) reports on the crazy happenings of Spring Break.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===
Lolisa is among the group defending [[CWCville Shopping Center]] from the [[PVCC]], though all she's seen doing is punching a few people.

===[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]]===
She and DJ Jamsta help defend the SLGBTQ Pride festival from [[Count Graduon]]'s forces with music-based attacks.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Rosechus]]

Sonichu (species)

2023-03-14T22:32:17Z

Ellieisdone:

[[File:SonichuOriginal.jpg|Thumb|right|Default Appearance]]

'''Sonichu''' is the name used for the predominately (with a [[Robbie Sonee|few exceptions]]) male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Their (mostly) female counterpart are the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same title (these are not surnames, as Chris has stressed that surnames are largely absent in the names of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon),<ref>[[:File:Sonichu surnames.png]]</ref> Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a [[stress|lazy]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|unimaginative]] bastard.

== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic the Hedgehog|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around 3 feet and 5 inches tall,<ref>[[September 2020 social media posts#Sonichu's height]]</ref> with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can make physical contact with each other without causing injury),<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P36.jpg]]</ref> though they have [[Pokémon|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a Sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical Sonichu has [[Pokémon|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the prime specimen), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors, although a Sonichu's "shiny" color is exclusively white.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Shiny Sonichu]]</ref> Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-Chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy Sonichu|epicanthic folds]], or a [[Wild Sonichu|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though considered to be Pokémon by their creator, Sonichus might be better described as anthropomorphic animals. While not very intelligent, they are sapient and capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]].

According to Chris, Sonichus are not capable of speech at the moment in which they cease being [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]]; they must be taught a spoken language in order to be able to say more than the name of their species.<ref>[[Mailbag 47#The reprobate and the elect]]</ref> This a far cry from the impression actually given by Chris's comic. In [[Sonichu 0#Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"|episode 1]] Sonichu is capable of speech immediately after his transformation. [[Punchy]], [[Wild]], and [[Bubbles]] are also capable of speech immediately after evolving into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref>[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"]]</ref>. In issue 10, Sandy also hatched from her egg and could immediately speak. So far, a Sonichu not capable of speech has never been seen in Chris's comic. It should also be noted that only [[Angelica]] and Punchy were raised by English-speaking owners (that we have seen). The other members of the Chaotic Combo were raised by Pokemon, physically or telepathically, and should not be able to speak English. Heck, Magi-Chan should more than likely be mute and only speak telepathically.

In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them. They are not above being welfare recipients too.<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 34#Electric inequality Pokémon]]</ref>

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' [[Semen|sperm]] count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref> It should also be noted that the volume of [[semen]] ejaculated by a Sonichu is also much higher than the amount of the average human male. Whereas human males will ejaculate on average about 0.1 to 10 milliliters of semen,<ref>Rehan N, Sobrero AJ, Fertig JW. (1975). "The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men". Fertility and Sterility 26 (6): 492–502.</ref> Sonichus' ejaculate numbers 100 - 500 milliliters <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P104.jpg]</ref> on average, more than the amount ejaculated by both horses and elephants. It may be due to the extremely low sperm count that more semen must be ejaculated to create a balance. It can easily be said that [[Recycling]] is unpopular amongst Sonichus, but due to easy access of [[Rosechu_(species)|semen recepticles]] this is not a major issue.

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

While discussing a sex scene involving [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] and [[Layla]] which was supposed to be included in the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating Ed episode]] (it was eventually left out of the final version), Chris and [[Ivy]] failed to agree over which character will bring the condoms, so eventually Chris decided that Layla had the ability to choose when to get pregnant.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref> This statement implies that intercourse between a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flaaffy_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Flaaffy] and a Sonichu can result in an offspring, and since two Pokémon of different species must share at least one [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group Egg group] in order to successfully mate, it can be assumed that Sonichus belong to either the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Field_%28Egg_group%29 Field egg group] and/or the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Monster_%28Egg_group%29 Monster egg group]. If Chris had ever given thought to this matter it is more likely that he placed Sonichu in the former group as this is also one of the egg groups to which Pikachu belongs.

==Gender==

[[File:FemaleSonichu.jpeg|thumb|Female Sonichu and Male Rosechu]]

In the earlier comics, it was established that all Sonichu’s and Sonee’s were male, and Rosechu’s, and Rosee’s, were their female counterparts, although the gender ratio of Pikachu is at 50/50. However as Chris became more experimental with his own gender, so did the species.
Sonichu’s son, Robbie Sonee, came out as a transgender woman in [[Sonichu 12]], changing his name to Roberta, and using the power of binaural beats to develop female reproductive organs.

When Chris himself transitioned, he contemplated the idea of making his Sonichu form a Rosechu, but rejected the idea and instead decided to introduce female Sonichu’s, as well as Male Rosechu’s, no longer making Sonichu’s exclusively male.

In [[Sonichu 13]], after being raped by Nazi’s, Roberta gave birth to three female Sonee’s, being the first of their species to be born. Yes, this actually did happen.

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, either a Sonee or a Rosee is birthed. This infant can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green Sonee with a grass sub-type. After being nurtured for some time, the spawn may then evolve further into a Sonichu variant, depending on their emotional state, and what item they're holding (if any).

In the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no Sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Collosal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Perceptor]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichus]]

Sonichu (species)

2023-03-14T22:32:05Z

Ellieisdone:

David Heilberg

2023-03-08T00:53:34Z

Ellieisdone:

{{stub}}

{{quote|In our current age of unregulated online disinformation about almost anything and everyone, this remedy might be needed now more than ever.|Heilberg on why some of Chris's records are being sealed.<ref>[[:File:HeilbergStatement.png]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = David Heilberg
| name = David L. Heilberg
| image = HeilbergPortraitNew.jpg|size=200px
| gender = Male
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|knownfor = • Defense lawyer for Chris on his [[incest]] charge
|occupation = Lawyer
|saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}
}}

'''David L. Heilberg''' is Chris's defense lawyer for his [[incest]] charge. Heilberg was assigned as Chris's lawyer by the Greene County's General District Court judge Kenneth Sneathern on 4 August 2021. Since Chris is too poor to hire a lawyer, he was granted one by the court, and unfortunately Heilberg didn’t know what he was getting into by agreeing to be his lawyer.

Heilberg has been known to send cease and desist orders to people who contact Chris and post his letters online (just another reason why you shouldn’t contact Chris) due to all the incrimating information contained in them.
In order to get his client a reduced sentence, he has been trying to use Chris’s [[Autism]] as an explanation for why he fucked his own mother.

==Mentions by Chris==
In [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]], Chris mentioned writing to Heilberg to tell him negative stories about [[Barbara]]'s character, including a claim that Barbara had offered herself for sex to Chris in [[2012]]. Chris believed that Barbara was never questioned on account of her age.

In [[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022‎‎]], Chris complained: "I've let Heilberg do his work; He hardly keeps me updated or communicates with me." Chris also claimed that Heilberg was frustrated with [[Region 10]] and Greene County's social workers for doing nothing, and that [[Western State Hospital]] was supposed to have placed Chris into a group home but returned him to the jail in order to free up room.

==In the media==
Heilberg has occasionally given statements to the media regarding Chris's case.

During [[September 2022]], a rumor circulated from [[4chan]] that Chris had escaped custody. USA Today published an article debunking the rumor. In it, Heilberg was quoted as saying, "I am unaware from any source that Ms. Chandler ‘escaped’ and any contrary stories or rumors are untrue." Heilberg also noted the “unique intense interest” and "online disinformation" regarding Chris's case.<ref>https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2022/09/16/fact-check-vlogger-charged-incest-still-custody-after-arrest/8037525001/</ref>

{{clear}}
{{References}}
{{JailSaga}}
{{People}}

Sonichu (species)

2023-03-01T18:25:32Z

Ellieisdone: /* Gender */

{{Dated|Article needs rework since Sonichus are no longer exclusively male.}}

[[File:SonichuOriginal.jpg|Thumb|right|Default Appearance]]

'''Sonichu''' is the name used for the predominately (with a [[Robbie Sonee|few exceptions]]) male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Their (mostly) female counterpart are the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same title (these are not surnames, as Chris has stressed that surnames are largely absent in the names of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon),<ref>[[:File:Sonichu surnames.png]]</ref> Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a [[stress|lazy]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|unimaginative]] bastard.

== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic the Hedgehog|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around 3 feet and 5 inches tall,<ref>[[September 2020 social media posts#Sonichu's height]]</ref> with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can make physical contact with each other without causing injury),<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P36.jpg]]</ref> though they have [[Pokémon|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a Sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical Sonichu has [[Pokémon|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the prime specimen), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors, although a Sonichu's "shiny" color is exclusively white.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Shiny Sonichu]]</ref> Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-Chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy Sonichu|epicanthic folds]], or a [[Wild Sonichu|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though considered to be Pokémon by their creator, Sonichus might be better described as anthropomorphic animals. While not very intelligent, they are sapient and capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]].

According to Chris, Sonichus are not capable of speech at the moment in which they cease being [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]]; they must be taught a spoken language in order to be able to say more than the name of their species.<ref>[[Mailbag 47#The reprobate and the elect]]</ref> This a far cry from the impression actually given by Chris's comic. In [[Sonichu 0#Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"|episode 1]] Sonichu is capable of speech immediately after his transformation. [[Punchy]], [[Wild]], and [[Bubbles]] are also capable of speech immediately after evolving into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref>[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"]]</ref>. In issue 10, Sandy also hatched from her egg and could immediately speak. So far, a Sonichu not capable of speech has never been seen in Chris's comic. It should also be noted that only [[Angelica]] and Punchy were raised by English-speaking owners (that we have seen). The other members of the Chaotic Combo were raised by Pokemon, physically or telepathically, and should not be able to speak English. Heck, Magi-Chan should more than likely be mute and only speak telepathically.

In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them. They are not above being welfare recipients too.<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 34#Electric inequality Pokémon]]</ref>

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' [[Semen|sperm]] count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref> It should also be noted that the volume of [[semen]] ejaculated by a Sonichu is also much higher than the amount of the average human male. Whereas human males will ejaculate on average about 0.1 to 10 milliliters of semen,<ref>Rehan N, Sobrero AJ, Fertig JW. (1975). "The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men". Fertility and Sterility 26 (6): 492–502.</ref> Sonichus' ejaculate numbers 100 - 500 milliliters <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P104.jpg]</ref> on average, more than the amount ejaculated by both horses and elephants. It may be due to the extremely low sperm count that more semen must be ejaculated to create a balance. It can easily be said that [[Recycling]] is unpopular amongst Sonichus, but due to easy access of [[Rosechu_(species)|semen recepticles]] this is not a major issue.

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

While discussing a sex scene involving [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] and [[Layla]] which was supposed to be included in the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating Ed episode]] (it was eventually left out of the final version), Chris and [[Ivy]] failed to agree over which character will bring the condoms, so eventually Chris decided that Layla had the ability to choose when to get pregnant.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref> This statement implies that intercourse between a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flaaffy_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Flaaffy] and a Sonichu can result in an offspring, and since two Pokémon of different species must share at least one [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group Egg group] in order to successfully mate, it can be assumed that Sonichus belong to either the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Field_%28Egg_group%29 Field egg group] and/or the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Monster_%28Egg_group%29 Monster egg group]. If Chris had ever given thought to this matter it is more likely that he placed Sonichu in the former group as this is also one of the egg groups to which Pikachu belongs.

==Gender==

[[File:FemaleSonichu.jpeg|thumb|Female Sonichu and Male Rosechu]]

In the earlier comics, it was established that all Sonichu’s and Sonee’s were male, and Rosechu’s, and Rosee’s, were their female counterparts, although the gender ratio of Pikachu is at 50/50. However as Chris became more experimental with his own gender, so did the species.
Sonichu’s son, Robbie Sonee, came out as a transgender woman in [[Sonichu 12]], changing his name to Roberta, and using the power of binaural beats to develop female reproductive organs.

When Chris himself transitioned, he contemplated the idea of making his Sonichu form a Rosechu, but rejected the idea and instead decided to introduce female Sonichu’s, as well as Male Rosechu’s, no longer making Sonichu’s exclusively male.

In [[Sonichu 13]], after being raped by Nazi’s, Roberta gave birth to three female Sonee’s, being the first of their species to be born. Yes, this actually did happen.

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, either a Sonee or a Rosee is birthed. This infant can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green Sonee with a grass sub-type. After being nurtured for some time, the spawn may then evolve further into a Sonichu variant, depending on their emotional state, and what item they're holding (if any).

In the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no Sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Collosal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Perceptor]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichus]]

Sonichu (species)

2023-03-01T18:18:50Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Dated|Article needs rework since Sonichus are no longer exclusively male.}}

[[File:SonichuOriginal.jpg|Thumb|right|Default Appearance]]

'''Sonichu''' is the name used for the predominately (with a [[Robbie Sonee|few exceptions]]) male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Their (mostly) female counterpart are the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same title (these are not surnames, as Chris has stressed that surnames are largely absent in the names of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon),<ref>[[:File:Sonichu surnames.png]]</ref> Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a [[stress|lazy]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|unimaginative]] bastard.

== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic the Hedgehog|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around 3 feet and 5 inches tall,<ref>[[September 2020 social media posts#Sonichu's height]]</ref> with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can make physical contact with each other without causing injury),<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P36.jpg]]</ref> though they have [[Pokémon|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a Sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical Sonichu has [[Pokémon|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the prime specimen), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors, although a Sonichu's "shiny" color is exclusively white.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Shiny Sonichu]]</ref> Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-Chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy Sonichu|epicanthic folds]], or a [[Wild Sonichu|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though considered to be Pokémon by their creator, Sonichus might be better described as anthropomorphic animals. While not very intelligent, they are sapient and capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]].

According to Chris, Sonichus are not capable of speech at the moment in which they cease being [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]]; they must be taught a spoken language in order to be able to say more than the name of their species.<ref>[[Mailbag 47#The reprobate and the elect]]</ref> This a far cry from the impression actually given by Chris's comic. In [[Sonichu 0#Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"|episode 1]] Sonichu is capable of speech immediately after his transformation. [[Punchy]], [[Wild]], and [[Bubbles]] are also capable of speech immediately after evolving into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref>[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"]]</ref>. In issue 10, Sandy also hatched from her egg and could immediately speak. So far, a Sonichu not capable of speech has never been seen in Chris's comic. It should also be noted that only [[Angelica]] and Punchy were raised by English-speaking owners (that we have seen). The other members of the Chaotic Combo were raised by Pokemon, physically or telepathically, and should not be able to speak English. Heck, Magi-Chan should more than likely be mute and only speak telepathically.

In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them. They are not above being welfare recipients too.<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 34#Electric inequality Pokémon]]</ref>

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' [[Semen|sperm]] count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref> It should also be noted that the volume of [[semen]] ejaculated by a Sonichu is also much higher than the amount of the average human male. Whereas human males will ejaculate on average about 0.1 to 10 milliliters of semen,<ref>Rehan N, Sobrero AJ, Fertig JW. (1975). "The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men". Fertility and Sterility 26 (6): 492–502.</ref> Sonichus' ejaculate numbers 100 - 500 milliliters <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P104.jpg]</ref> on average, more than the amount ejaculated by both horses and elephants. It may be due to the extremely low sperm count that more semen must be ejaculated to create a balance. It can easily be said that [[Recycling]] is unpopular amongst Sonichus, but due to easy access of [[Rosechu_(species)|semen recepticles]] this is not a major issue.

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

While discussing a sex scene involving [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] and [[Layla]] which was supposed to be included in the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating Ed episode]] (it was eventually left out of the final version), Chris and [[Ivy]] failed to agree over which character will bring the condoms, so eventually Chris decided that Layla had the ability to choose when to get pregnant.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref> This statement implies that intercourse between a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flaaffy_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Flaaffy] and a Sonichu can result in an offspring, and since two Pokémon of different species must share at least one [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group Egg group] in order to successfully mate, it can be assumed that Sonichus belong to either the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Field_%28Egg_group%29 Field egg group] and/or the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Monster_%28Egg_group%29 Monster egg group]. If Chris had ever given thought to this matter it is more likely that he placed Sonichu in the former group as this is also one of the egg groups to which Pikachu belongs.

==Gender==

[[File:FemaleSonichu.jpeg|thumb|Female Sonichu and Male Rosechu]]

In the earlier comics, it was established that all Sonichu’s and Sonee’s were male, and Rosechu’s, and Rosee’s, were their female counterparts, although the gender ratio of Pikachu is at 50/50. However as Chris became more experimental with his own gender, so did the species.
Sonichu’s son, Robbie Sonee, came out as a transgender woman in [[Sonichu 12]], changing his name to Roberta, and using the power of binaural beats to develop female reproductive organs.

When Chris himself transitioned, he contemplated the idea of making his Sonichu form a Rosechu, but rejected the idea and instead decided to introduce female Sonichu’s, as well as Male Rosechu’s.

In [[Sonichu 13]], after being raped by Nazi’s, Roberta gave birth to three female Sonee’s, being the first of their species to be born. Yes, this actually did happen.

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, either a Sonee or a Rosee is birthed. This infant can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green Sonee with a grass sub-type. After being nurtured for some time, the spawn may then evolve further into a Sonichu variant, depending on their emotional state, and what item they're holding (if any).

In the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no Sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Collosal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Perceptor]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichus]]

Sonichu (species)

2023-03-01T18:09:59Z

Ellieisdone: /* Sex and Gender */

{{Dated|Article needs rework since Sonichus are no longer exclusively male.}}
'''Sonichu''' is the name used for the predominately (with a [[Robbie Sonee|few exceptions]]) male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Their (mostly) female counterpart are the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same title (these are not surnames, as Chris has stressed that surnames are largely absent in the names of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon),<ref>[[:File:Sonichu surnames.png]]</ref> Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a [[stress|lazy]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|unimaginative]] bastard.
== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic the Hedgehog|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around 3 feet and 5 inches tall,<ref>[[September 2020 social media posts#Sonichu's height]]</ref> with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can make physical contact with each other without causing injury),<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P36.jpg]]</ref> though they have [[Pokémon|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a Sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical Sonichu has [[Pokémon|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the prime specimen), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors, although a Sonichu's "shiny" color is exclusively white.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Shiny Sonichu]]</ref> Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-Chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy Sonichu|epicanthic folds]], or a [[Wild Sonichu|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though considered to be Pokémon by their creator, Sonichus might be better described as anthropomorphic animals. While not very intelligent, they are sapient and capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]].

According to Chris, Sonichus are not capable of speech at the moment in which they cease being [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]]; they must be taught a spoken language in order to be able to say more than the name of their species.<ref>[[Mailbag 47#The reprobate and the elect]]</ref> This a far cry from the impression actually given by Chris's comic. In [[Sonichu 0#Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"|episode 1]] Sonichu is capable of speech immediately after his transformation. [[Punchy]], [[Wild]], and [[Bubbles]] are also capable of speech immediately after evolving into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref>[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"]]</ref>. In issue 10, Sandy also hatched from her egg and could immediately speak. So far, a Sonichu not capable of speech has never been seen in Chris's comic. It should also be noted that only [[Angelica]] and Punchy were raised by English-speaking owners (that we have seen). The other members of the Chaotic Combo were raised by Pokemon, physically or telepathically, and should not be able to speak English. Heck, Magi-Chan should more than likely be mute and only speak telepathically.

In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them. They are not above being welfare recipients too.<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 34#Electric inequality Pokémon]]</ref>

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' [[Semen|sperm]] count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref> It should also be noted that the volume of [[semen]] ejaculated by a Sonichu is also much higher than the amount of the average human male. Whereas human males will ejaculate on average about 0.1 to 10 milliliters of semen,<ref>Rehan N, Sobrero AJ, Fertig JW. (1975). "The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men". Fertility and Sterility 26 (6): 492–502.</ref> Sonichus' ejaculate numbers 100 - 500 milliliters <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P104.jpg]</ref> on average, more than the amount ejaculated by both horses and elephants. It may be due to the extremely low sperm count that more semen must be ejaculated to create a balance. It can easily be said that [[Recycling]] is unpopular amongst Sonichus, but due to easy access of [[Rosechu_(species)|semen recepticles]] this is not a major issue.

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

While discussing a sex scene involving [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] and [[Layla]] which was supposed to be included in the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating Ed episode]] (it was eventually left out of the final version), Chris and [[Ivy]] failed to agree over which character will bring the condoms, so eventually Chris decided that Layla had the ability to choose when to get pregnant.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref> This statement implies that intercourse between a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flaaffy_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Flaaffy] and a Sonichu can result in an offspring, and since two Pokémon of different species must share at least one [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group Egg group] in order to successfully mate, it can be assumed that Sonichus belong to either the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Field_%28Egg_group%29 Field egg group] and/or the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Monster_%28Egg_group%29 Monster egg group]. If Chris had ever given thought to this matter it is more likely that he placed Sonichu in the former group as this is also one of the egg groups to which Pikachu belongs.

==Gender==

[[File:FemaleSonichu.jpeg|thumb|Female Sonichu and Male Rosechu]]

In the earlier comics, it was established that all Sonichu’s and Sonee’s were male, and Rosechu’s, and Rosee’s, were their female counterparts, although the gender ratio of Pikachu is at 50/50. However as Chris became more experimental with his own gender, so did the species.
Sonichu’s son, Robbie Sonee, came out as a transgender woman in [[Sonichu 12]], changing his name to Roberta, and using the power of binaural beats to develop female reproductive organs.

When Chris himself transitioned, he contemplated the idea of making his Sonichu form a Rosechu, but rejected the idea and instead decided to introduce female Sonichu’s, as well as Male Rosechu’s.

In [[Sonichu 13]], after being raped by Nazi’s, Roberta gave birth to three female Sonee’s, being the first of their species to be born. Yes, this actually did happen.

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, either a Sonee or a Rosee is birthed. This infant can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green Sonee with a grass sub-type. After being nurtured for some time, the spawn may then evolve further into a Sonichu variant, depending on their emotional state, and what item they're holding (if any).

In the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no Sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Collosal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Perceptor]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichus]]

Sonichu (species)

2023-03-01T18:09:44Z

Ellieisdone: /* Sex and Gender */

{{Dated|Article needs rework since Sonichus are no longer exclusively male.}}
'''Sonichu''' is the name used for the predominately (with a [[Robbie Sonee|few exceptions]]) male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Their (mostly) female counterpart are the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same title (these are not surnames, as Chris has stressed that surnames are largely absent in the names of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon),<ref>[[:File:Sonichu surnames.png]]</ref> Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a [[stress|lazy]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|unimaginative]] bastard.
== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic the Hedgehog|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around 3 feet and 5 inches tall,<ref>[[September 2020 social media posts#Sonichu's height]]</ref> with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can make physical contact with each other without causing injury),<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P36.jpg]]</ref> though they have [[Pokémon|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a Sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical Sonichu has [[Pokémon|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the prime specimen), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors, although a Sonichu's "shiny" color is exclusively white.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Shiny Sonichu]]</ref> Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-Chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy Sonichu|epicanthic folds]], or a [[Wild Sonichu|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though considered to be Pokémon by their creator, Sonichus might be better described as anthropomorphic animals. While not very intelligent, they are sapient and capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]].

According to Chris, Sonichus are not capable of speech at the moment in which they cease being [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]]; they must be taught a spoken language in order to be able to say more than the name of their species.<ref>[[Mailbag 47#The reprobate and the elect]]</ref> This a far cry from the impression actually given by Chris's comic. In [[Sonichu 0#Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"|episode 1]] Sonichu is capable of speech immediately after his transformation. [[Punchy]], [[Wild]], and [[Bubbles]] are also capable of speech immediately after evolving into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref>[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"]]</ref>. In issue 10, Sandy also hatched from her egg and could immediately speak. So far, a Sonichu not capable of speech has never been seen in Chris's comic. It should also be noted that only [[Angelica]] and Punchy were raised by English-speaking owners (that we have seen). The other members of the Chaotic Combo were raised by Pokemon, physically or telepathically, and should not be able to speak English. Heck, Magi-Chan should more than likely be mute and only speak telepathically.

In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them. They are not above being welfare recipients too.<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 34#Electric inequality Pokémon]]</ref>

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' [[Semen|sperm]] count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref> It should also be noted that the volume of [[semen]] ejaculated by a Sonichu is also much higher than the amount of the average human male. Whereas human males will ejaculate on average about 0.1 to 10 milliliters of semen,<ref>Rehan N, Sobrero AJ, Fertig JW. (1975). "The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men". Fertility and Sterility 26 (6): 492–502.</ref> Sonichus' ejaculate numbers 100 - 500 milliliters <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P104.jpg]</ref> on average, more than the amount ejaculated by both horses and elephants. It may be due to the extremely low sperm count that more semen must be ejaculated to create a balance. It can easily be said that [[Recycling]] is unpopular amongst Sonichus, but due to easy access of [[Rosechu_(species)|semen recepticles]] this is not a major issue.

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

While discussing a sex scene involving [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] and [[Layla]] which was supposed to be included in the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating Ed episode]] (it was eventually left out of the final version), Chris and [[Ivy]] failed to agree over which character will bring the condoms, so eventually Chris decided that Layla had the ability to choose when to get pregnant.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref> This statement implies that intercourse between a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flaaffy_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Flaaffy] and a Sonichu can result in an offspring, and since two Pokémon of different species must share at least one [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group Egg group] in order to successfully mate, it can be assumed that Sonichus belong to either the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Field_%28Egg_group%29 Field egg group] and/or the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Monster_%28Egg_group%29 Monster egg group]. If Chris had ever given thought to this matter it is more likely that he placed Sonichu in the former group as this is also one of the egg groups to which Pikachu belongs.

==Sex and Gender==

[[File:FemaleSonichu.jpeg|thumb|Female Sonichu and Male Rosechu]]

In the earlier comics, it was established that all Sonichu’s and Sonee’s were male, and Rosechu’s, and Rosee’s, were their female counterparts, although the gender ratio of Pikachu is at 50/50. However as Chris became more experimental with his own gender, so did the species.
Sonichu’s son, Robbie Sonee, came out as a transgender woman in [[Sonichu 12]], changing his name to Roberta, and using the power of binaural beats to develop female reproductive organs.

When Chris himself transitioned, he contemplated the idea of making his Sonichu form a Rosechu, but rejected the idea and instead decided to introduce female Sonichu’s, as well as Male Rosechu’s.

In [[Sonichu 13]], after being raped by Nazi’s, Roberta gave birth to three female Sonee’s, being the first of their species to be born. Yes, this actually did happen.

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, either a Sonee or a Rosee is birthed. This infant can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green Sonee with a grass sub-type. After being nurtured for some time, the spawn may then evolve further into a Sonichu variant, depending on their emotional state, and what item they're holding (if any).

In the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no Sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Collosal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Perceptor]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichus]]

File:FemaleSonichu.jpeg

2023-03-01T18:06:14Z

Ellieisdone:

Sonichu (species)

2023-03-01T18:00:26Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Dated|Article needs rework since Sonichus are no longer exclusively male.}}
'''Sonichu''' is the name used for the predominately (with a [[Robbie Sonee|few exceptions]]) male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Their (mostly) female counterpart are the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same title (these are not surnames, as Chris has stressed that surnames are largely absent in the names of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon),<ref>[[:File:Sonichu surnames.png]]</ref> Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a [[stress|lazy]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|unimaginative]] bastard.
== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic the Hedgehog|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around 3 feet and 5 inches tall,<ref>[[September 2020 social media posts#Sonichu's height]]</ref> with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can make physical contact with each other without causing injury),<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P36.jpg]]</ref> though they have [[Pokémon|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a Sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical Sonichu has [[Pokémon|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the prime specimen), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors, although a Sonichu's "shiny" color is exclusively white.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Shiny Sonichu]]</ref> Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-Chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy Sonichu|epicanthic folds]], or a [[Wild Sonichu|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though considered to be Pokémon by their creator, Sonichus might be better described as anthropomorphic animals. While not very intelligent, they are sapient and capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]].

According to Chris, Sonichus are not capable of speech at the moment in which they cease being [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]]; they must be taught a spoken language in order to be able to say more than the name of their species.<ref>[[Mailbag 47#The reprobate and the elect]]</ref> This a far cry from the impression actually given by Chris's comic. In [[Sonichu 0#Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"|episode 1]] Sonichu is capable of speech immediately after his transformation. [[Punchy]], [[Wild]], and [[Bubbles]] are also capable of speech immediately after evolving into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref>[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"]]</ref>. In issue 10, Sandy also hatched from her egg and could immediately speak. So far, a Sonichu not capable of speech has never been seen in Chris's comic. It should also be noted that only [[Angelica]] and Punchy were raised by English-speaking owners (that we have seen). The other members of the Chaotic Combo were raised by Pokemon, physically or telepathically, and should not be able to speak English. Heck, Magi-Chan should more than likely be mute and only speak telepathically.

In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them. They are not above being welfare recipients too.<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 34#Electric inequality Pokémon]]</ref>

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' [[Semen|sperm]] count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref> It should also be noted that the volume of [[semen]] ejaculated by a Sonichu is also much higher than the amount of the average human male. Whereas human males will ejaculate on average about 0.1 to 10 milliliters of semen,<ref>Rehan N, Sobrero AJ, Fertig JW. (1975). "The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men". Fertility and Sterility 26 (6): 492–502.</ref> Sonichus' ejaculate numbers 100 - 500 milliliters <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P104.jpg]</ref> on average, more than the amount ejaculated by both horses and elephants. It may be due to the extremely low sperm count that more semen must be ejaculated to create a balance. It can easily be said that [[Recycling]] is unpopular amongst Sonichus, but due to easy access of [[Rosechu_(species)|semen recepticles]] this is not a major issue.

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

While discussing a sex scene involving [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] and [[Layla]] which was supposed to be included in the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating Ed episode]] (it was eventually left out of the final version), Chris and [[Ivy]] failed to agree over which character will bring the condoms, so eventually Chris decided that Layla had the ability to choose when to get pregnant.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref> This statement implies that intercourse between a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flaaffy_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Flaaffy] and a Sonichu can result in an offspring, and since two Pokémon of different species must share at least one [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group Egg group] in order to successfully mate, it can be assumed that Sonichus belong to either the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Field_%28Egg_group%29 Field egg group] and/or the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Monster_%28Egg_group%29 Monster egg group]. If Chris had ever given thought to this matter it is more likely that he placed Sonichu in the former group as this is also one of the egg groups to which Pikachu belongs.

==Sex and Gender==

In the earlier comics, it was established that all Sonichu’s and Sonee’s were male, and Rosechu’s, and Rosee’s, were their female counterparts, although the gender ratio of Pikachu is at 50/50. However as Chris became more experimental with his own gender, so did the species.
Sonichu’s son, Robbie Sonee, came out as a transgender woman in [[Sonichu 12]], changing his name to Roberta, and using the power of binaural beats to develop female reproductive organs.

When Chris himself transitioned, he contemplated the idea of making his Sonichu form a Rosechu, but rejected the idea and instead decided to introduce female Sonichu’s, as well as Male Rosechu’s.

In [[Sonichu 13]], after being raped by Nazi’s, Roberta gave birth to three female Sonee’s, being the first of their species to be born. Yes, this actually did happen.

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, either a Sonee or a Rosee is birthed. This infant can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green Sonee with a grass sub-type. After being nurtured for some time, the spawn may then evolve further into a Sonichu variant, depending on their emotional state, and what item they're holding (if any).

In the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no Sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Collosal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Perceptor]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichus]]

Sonichu (species)

2023-02-13T18:04:48Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Dated|Article needs rework since Sonichus are no longer exclusively male.}}
'''Sonichu''' is the name used for the predominately (with a [[Robbie Sonee|few exceptions]]) male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Their (mostly) female counterpart are the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same title (these are not surnames, as Chris has stressed that surnames are largely absent in the names of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon),<ref>[[:File:Sonichu surnames.png]]</ref> Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a [[stress|lazy]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|unimaginative]] bastard.
== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic the Hedgehog|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around 3 feet and 5 inches tall,<ref>[[September 2020 social media posts#Sonichu's height]]</ref> with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can make physical contact with each other without causing injury),<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P36.jpg]]</ref> though they have [[Pokémon|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a Sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical Sonichu has [[Pokémon|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the prime specimen), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors, although a Sonichu's "shiny" color is exclusively white.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Shiny Sonichu]]</ref> Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-Chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy Sonichu|epicanthic folds]], or a [[Wild Sonichu|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though considered to be Pokémon by their creator, Sonichus might be better described as anthropomorphic animals. While not very intelligent, they are sapient and capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]].

According to Chris, Sonichus are not capable of speech at the moment in which they cease being [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]]; they must be taught a spoken language in order to be able to say more than the name of their species.<ref>[[Mailbag 47#The reprobate and the elect]]</ref> This a far cry from the impression actually given by Chris's comic. In [[Sonichu 0#Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"|episode 1]] Sonichu is capable of speech immediately after his transformation. [[Punchy]], [[Wild]], and [[Bubbles]] are also capable of speech immediately after evolving into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref>[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"]]</ref>. In issue 10, Sandy also hatched from her egg and could immediately speak. So far, a Sonichu not capable of speech has never been seen in Chris's comic. It should also be noted that only [[Angelica]] and Punchy were raised by English-speaking owners (that we have seen). The other members of the Chaotic Combo were raised by Pokemon, physically or telepathically, and should not be able to speak English. Heck, Magi-Chan should more than likely be mute and only speak telepathically.

In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them. They are not above being welfare recipients too.<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 34#Electric inequality Pokémon]]</ref>

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' [[Semen|sperm]] count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref> It should also be noted that the volume of [[semen]] ejaculated by a Sonichu is also much higher than the amount of the average human male. Whereas human males will ejaculate on average about 0.1 to 10 milliliters of semen,<ref>Rehan N, Sobrero AJ, Fertig JW. (1975). "The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men". Fertility and Sterility 26 (6): 492–502.</ref> Sonichus' ejaculate numbers 100 - 500 milliliters <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P104.jpg]</ref> on average, more than the amount ejaculated by both horses and elephants. It may be due to the extremely low sperm count that more semen must be ejaculated to create a balance. It can easily be said that [[Recycling]] is unpopular amongst Sonichus, but due to easy access of [[Rosechu_(species)|semen recepticles]] this is not a major issue.

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

While discussing a sex scene involving [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] and [[Layla]] which was supposed to be included in the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating Ed episode]] (it was eventually left out of the final version), Chris and [[Ivy]] failed to agree over which character will bring the condoms, so eventually Chris decided that Layla had the ability to choose when to get pregnant.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref> This statement implies that intercourse between a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flaaffy_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Flaaffy] and a Sonichu can result in an offspring, and since two Pokémon of different species must share at least one [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group Egg group] in order to successfully mate, it can be assumed that Sonichus belong to either the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Field_%28Egg_group%29 Field egg group] and/or the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Monster_%28Egg_group%29 Monster egg group]. If Chris had ever given thought to this matter it is more likely that he placed Sonichu in the former group as this is also one of the egg groups to which Pikachu belongs.

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, either a Sonee or a Rosee is birthed. This infant can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green Sonee with a grass sub-type. After being nurtured for some time, the spawn may then evolve further into a Sonichu variant, depending on their emotional state, and what item they're holding (if any).

In the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no Sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Collosal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Perceptor]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichus]]

Sonichu (species)

2023-02-13T18:00:46Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Dated|Article needs rework since Sonichus are no longer exclusively male.}}
'''Sonichu''' is the name used for the predominately (with a few exceptions) male specimens of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Their (mostly) female counterpart are the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]].

By having an entire species have the same name as a [[Sonichu (character)|"unique" being]] and giving all of its members the same title (these are not surnames, as Chris has stressed that surnames are largely absent in the names of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon),<ref>[[:File:Sonichu surnames.png]]</ref> Chris has only served to confound his readers, [[Jamsta Sonichu|mess up continuity]], and demonstrate that he's a [[stress|lazy]] and [[Things Chris has ripped off|unimaginative]] bastard.
== Appearance ==

Sonichus generally resemble [[Sonic the Hedgehog|bipedal hedgehogs]] in appearance, standing around 3 feet and 5 inches tall,<ref>[[September 2020 social media posts#Sonichu's height]]</ref> with thick hides and large spikes (which are flexible so they can make physical contact with each other without causing injury),<ref>[[:File:SchuComic8P36.jpg]]</ref> though they have [[Pokémon|elongated ears and (generally) tails shaped like cartoonish lightning bolts]]. While the hands are completely articulated with five fingers and opposable thumbs, the feet of a Sonichu are just round stumps. They are seldom seen without a pair of white gloves and shoes (of varying colors), even if they are completely nude otherwise. The shoes may be a necessity, as the nature of bare Sonichu feet may make it impossible for a Sonichu to stand without them.

While a typical Sonichu has [[Pokémon|yellow fur, brown stripes, and red spots on their cheekbones]] (if we are to assume that the [[Sonichu (character)|original Sonichu]] is the prime specimen), Sonichus can come in a variety of recolors, although a Sonichu's "shiny" color is exclusively white.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Shiny Sonichu]]</ref> Sometimes, a Sonichu displays other variations, such as [[Magi-Chan|altered ear tips]], [[Punchy Sonichu|epicanthic folds]], or a [[Wild Sonichu|different tail altogether]]. The fur color of a Sonichu is susceptible to alteration by chemicals such as [[Blake|Cherry Cola]].

== Behavior ==

Though considered to be Pokémon by their creator, Sonichus might be better described as anthropomorphic animals. While not very intelligent, they are sapient and capable of many of the same skills as humans: [[Pocket knife|tool usage]], [[Speech impediment|speech]] and [[Autism|social interaction]].

According to Chris, Sonichus are not capable of speech at the moment in which they cease being [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]]; they must be taught a spoken language in order to be able to say more than the name of their species.<ref>[[Mailbag 47#The reprobate and the elect]]</ref> This a far cry from the impression actually given by Chris's comic. In [[Sonichu 0#Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"|episode 1]] Sonichu is capable of speech immediately after his transformation. [[Punchy]], [[Wild]], and [[Bubbles]] are also capable of speech immediately after evolving into Sonichus and Rosechus.<ref>[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"]]</ref>. In issue 10, Sandy also hatched from her egg and could immediately speak. So far, a Sonichu not capable of speech has never been seen in Chris's comic. It should also be noted that only [[Angelica]] and Punchy were raised by English-speaking owners (that we have seen). The other members of the Chaotic Combo were raised by Pokemon, physically or telepathically, and should not be able to speak English. Heck, Magi-Chan should more than likely be mute and only speak telepathically.

In their [[CWCville|natural habitat]], Sonichus fill a number of societal roles: [[Chaotic Combo|vigilante groups]], [[Jamsta|radio announcers]], and [[Simonla|construction]] [[Sandy|workers]], using whatever supernatural abilities granted to them. They are not above being welfare recipients too.<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 34#Electric inequality Pokémon]]</ref>

Sonichus are [[Love Quest|constantly searching for a mate]], and perhaps with some [[Dating education|assistance]] will "fall in love" with the first Rosechu they see ([[Magi-Chan|assuming they are heterosexual]]). The ensuing pair, without exception, will enter into a courtship in poor imitation of humans. However, unlike humans, Sonichu-Rosechu mates [[Chris and writing|completely lack tension or discord]], suggesting that the lifelong bond is purely out of instinct to guarantee that any resulting spawn gets care from two parents (though not guaranteed to be good or even adequate care). Considering the [[Sonee and Rosey|extremely low capabilities of said spawn]], this may be a necessity.

==Sonichus and reproduction==

A Sonichu's [[penis]] and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the [[pickle|penis]] can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P103.jpg]</ref> This system displays a clear lack of knowledge of biology, as the reason that the testicles are outside the body is because the body's core temperature is not ideal for sperm production, thus, unless Sonichu sperm is much more heat resistant than normal mammalian sperm, Sonichus should be sterile. ([[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|Unfortunately, they are not.]]). In addition, Chris never explains if the penis always slides out when the Sonichu leans over (although it obviously isn't the case), and he never mentions conscious control over the action. All of this goes to show that [[Honor roll|people who have no knowledge of biology]] should not set out to create detailed organ systems for their fictional creatures.

Sonichus' [[Semen|sperm]] count is extremely low when compared to humans. The number of sperm cells released by a Sonichu per ejaculation stands at a couple of thousands at most and can be as low as mere hundreds. <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P105.jpg]</ref> In comparison, human sperm count must be at least over 15 million sperm cells per milliliter in order to be considered healthy. <ref>[http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/cooper_et_al_hru.pdf World Health Organization reference values for human semen characteristics]</ref> It should also be noted that the volume of [[semen]] ejaculated by a Sonichu is also much higher than the amount of the average human male. Whereas human males will ejaculate on average about 0.1 to 10 milliliters of semen,<ref>Rehan N, Sobrero AJ, Fertig JW. (1975). "The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men". Fertility and Sterility 26 (6): 492–502.</ref> Sonichus' ejaculate numbers 100 - 500 milliliters <ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic8P104.jpg]</ref> on average, more than the amount ejaculated by both horses and elephants. It may be due to the extremely low sperm count that more semen must be ejaculated to create a balance. It can easily be said that [[Recycling]] is unpopular amongst Sonichus, but due to easy access of [[Rosechu_(species)|semen recepticles]] this is not a major issue.

Chris has mentioned that a [[Sonee]] is born as the result of intercourse between a Sonichu and a Rosechu, or some combination of the above and a [[Wikipedia:Ditto (Pokémon)|Ditto]] [[Pokémon]]<ref name="Sonichu article">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu's [[CWCipedia]] article]</ref>. Presumably a Ditto would assume the form of an opposite-sex [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

While discussing a sex scene involving [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] and [[Layla]] which was supposed to be included in the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating Ed episode]] (it was eventually left out of the final version), Chris and [[Ivy]] failed to agree over which character will bring the condoms, so eventually Chris decided that Layla had the ability to choose when to get pregnant.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy]]</ref> This statement implies that intercourse between a [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flaaffy_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Flaaffy] and a Sonichu can result in an offspring, and since two Pokémon of different species must share at least one [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Egg_group Egg group] in order to successfully mate, it can be assumed that Sonichus belong to either the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Field_%28Egg_group%29 Field egg group] and/or the [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Monster_%28Egg_group%29 Monster egg group]. If Chris had ever given thought to this matter it is more likely that he placed Sonichu in the former group as this is also one of the egg groups to which Pikachu belongs.

{{Clear}}

==Sonichus and evolution==

[[Image:EvolutionChart.png|thumb|Sonichu evolution chart]]

The infant Sonee is first born in egg-form from a Rosechu mother. When the egg hatches, either a Sonee or a Rosee is birthed. This infant can already have a certain sub-type; [[Wild]], for instance, was born as a green Sonee with a grass sub-type. After being nurtured for some time, the spawn may then evolve further into a Sonichu variant, depending on their emotional state, and what item they're holding (if any).

In the Classic Sonichu Strips from [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], an evolution of Sonichu called [[Metonic]] can be seen.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic0P28.jpg 25 Years Later]</ref> According to the strip and an ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' card<ref>[[:File:208-CMetonicBck.jpg]]</ref> from the [[scrapbook]], Sonichu evolves into Metonic by being traded while holding a Metal Coat. However, Chris stated that only the original Sonichu can evolve into Metonic.<ref name="mail 10">[[Mailbag 10#God save the queen|Mailbag 10]]</ref><ref name="Sonichu article" /> He also stated that "[T]he [rest of the Sonichus and Rosechus] have no '''current''' evolutions" (emphasis added) <ref name="mail 10" />, leaving it open for him to devise separate evolutions for them in the future.

In [[Sonichu 10#Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan|episode 21]], Sonichu transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] after being brought into contact with the seven [[Sonichu Balls]], although the change was temporary. As with Metonic, this evolution is exclusive to the original Sonichu.<ref name="Sonichu article" />

Despite all being Electric in their primary type, no Sonichu other than the [[Sonichu (character)|original]] and his clone [[Blake]] has demonstrated the use of electric powers. It can be assumed that being of Electric type is only for the purpose of calculating weakness and strength.

==List of Sonichus==

* [[Sonichu]]
* [[Blake]] (Black Sonichu)
* [[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Bobby Sonichu]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Collosal Chan]] (half-human transformation)
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
* [[Liquid Chris#In the comic|IBAChandler Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[DJ Jamsta]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Michael Sonichu]]
* [[Asperchu parodies#Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Sonichu]]
* [[Perceptor]]
* [[Punchy Sonichu]]
* [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Swift Sonichu]]
* [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] (transformation)
* [[Asperchu parodies#Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo|Whisp Sonichu]]
* [[Wild Sonichu]]

==See also==

*[[Rosechu (species)]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichus]]

HelloLadyFans

2023-02-13T17:12:36Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Honest}}

'''HelloLadyFans''' is a terrifying video Chris uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 1 [[November 2015]], where he tries to continue his everlasting [[Love Quest]]. It shows Chris just after presumably taking a shower, draped across his bed. It also shows how [[Naive|Chris has yet to learn anything]] as he gives a Gmail account for anyone who wishes to talk to him, as long as it's a [[Sweetheart|girl]]. Unlike his videos from [[October 2015|last month]], this one was age-restricted as per YouTube's Community Guidelines. Two days after posting, he provided a link to the video on his [[Facebook]] page.

Chris's attempt to effect a seductive drawl makes him sound especially Southern, or drunk.

==Description==

{{quotebox|Only Email me at Anightinchristine@gmail.com, please. I personally look forward to meeting and getting better acquainted with the ladies who like me from the distance. AND Honesty is always a positive turn on for me, so please use your real name when emailing me; No [[Chris and English|anonymosity]] at all, please.}}

A couple days later he added:

{{quotebox|Also, please do attach a most current photo of yourself. Thank you.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = HelloLadyFriends
| ytid = xaOxDkce6Zg
| stardate = 01 [[November 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Sex|text}} {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{The Happy Hag|text}}
| previous = [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia]]
| next = [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]]
}}
{{quote|I'm an overlooked treasure, and I should not be ignored or overlooked any longer.}}

==Transcription==
'''Chris:''' Hello to all my lucky lady faaaans. (''Chris grabs the towel on his head'') Yes, I just got out of the [[Chris and Health|shower]] and I feel clean again.... Well, it gets lonely around here in my [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. I feel like I might want to date some of y'all. (''Chris shows more cleavage'') Maybe we get to know each other, you know? Have a pleasant dinner, or just enjoy a conversation over a cup of coffee. See where things go, see how we feel around each other. Yeah, maybe I'll eventually find my [[sweetheart]] ''amongst'' y'all. (''inspects something he found on his head'') See where things go, you know? I'm open to all kinds of [[china|women]], 'cause you get the whole package in one, the female soul and the body that can go any way you desire (''pulls down his shirt to reveal his shoulder and bra'') My ladieees. Mm. Straight, bisexual, lesbian, I'll take y'all on. 'Cause I have, 'cause I'm an [[Chris and reality|overlooked treasure]], and I should not be ignored or overlooked any longer. So I get, I think we should start gettin' to know each other, my loyal lady fans. And of course, you know who I'm talking to, hm hm hm, y'all. So just contact me at the email address (''points downward'') I provide underneath this video, and we`ll set up a lovely date, just between the two of us, mmm. One weekend, y'all can visit, maybe get a hotel room, y'all, where we'll spend a lovely evening together in or somethin', or maybe we'll swing by here.

Well, get to know me, talk to me, see where we, see whether we click or not. Mmm. Lovely lovely times and memories to be shared. And even if things don't work out for the long run, you'll still get a new friend in me anyway. (''raises little finger'') Ss-, and I pinky-promise on that. Thank y'all for your 'ttention and l-, and whatnot. (''Chris flashes his cleavage once more before ending the video'')

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWCVille Connections
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rp_hGFPeXno}}
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsF8Yab8joHX7SzPva6MVTA/about MycalFelps]
| stardate = 2 [[November 2015]]
}}

==See Also==
*[[HairDifference]], another instance in which Chris used the shower on a rare occasion.
*[[Carlos Chantor]], Chris's earlier attempt to solicit [[China]].

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.]]|nextlink=[[Family Needs to appreciate Family]]|}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Kim Wilson

2023-02-01T16:32:35Z

Ellieisdone:

: ''"Kim" redirects here. For Chris's blow-up doll, see [[Kimmi]].''

{{Troll|She was played by the same person behind [[Emily]].<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Emily and Kim Personas]]</ref>}}

[[Kim Wilson]] is an undercover troll of Chris, and someone with far too much time on her hands. She was first mentioned in [[Kacey Call 1]], and much of what is known of her comes from references in the [[Kacey calls]]. In [[2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris at 10 P.M.<ref>[[Kacey Call 8]]</ref>

Under the moniker [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum] (her YouTube username<ref name="Kacey 1" />) Kim served as a judge for the [[SingStar Challenge]],<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July]]</ref> where she voted in favor of [[Solid Chris]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eNmvI0DZjI]</ref>

Like [[Anna McLerran|Anna]], Kim is a frequent commentator on Chris's [[Facebook]] page. However, Anna harbors an intense dislike of Kim, and has accused her of being a [[troll]].

In [[June 2020]], after seeing an episode of ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'' featuring [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Chris fucks himself|an e-mail Kim had leaked on Kiwi Farms in which Chris discussed shoving his dick up his ass]], Chris finally realized Kim was a troll.<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History#Mentions by Chris]]</ref>

==Introduction to Chris and Kacey==
Prior to the Kacey calls, Kim had been emailing Chris, helping him get into [[Liquid Chris]]'s email account.<ref name="Father">[[Father Call]]</ref> In an attempt to establish that she was not a [[boyfriend-free girl]], she told him she was with a tough dude named Logan, and together they had two German shepherds.<ref name="Kacey 1">[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref> Irrespective of this, Chris typically still thought Kim liked him, and asked Kacey to ask her what she thought of him, despite having stated "I respect her space very much."<ref>[[Kacey Call 3]]</ref> After Chris gave Kim's email address to Kacey, the two became friends.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

==Interactions==
In [[August 2009]], Kim asked Chris to share his [[PSN]] information with her. He happily surrendered his username and password, resulting in his PSN account getting hacked.<ref>[[Kacey Call 4]]</ref>

By [[September 2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris. It was Kim's suggestion that Chris get a [[sports bra]] for exercising, prompting Chris to purchase one.<ref name="kaceycall7">[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> That month, Chris also sent her the pictures of him with [[Faeryn]], as well as the infamous picture of him in the sports bra.<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref><ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref> He also told her (inappropriately) that he had an insecurity over [[Duck|penis]] size.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> While Chris ignored her suggestion to do a [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] [[cosplay]],<ref>[[Kacey Call 22]]</ref> he would in fact later cosplay as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. She tried to get Chris to give her his [[PS3]], under the guise that her boyfriend was a professional who could debug it, but failed.<ref>[[Kacey Call 18]]</ref>

It was Kim who told Chris that [[Regina]] could just be "a whole bunch of misunderstandings", instead of a troll.<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>

==Attempts to improve Chris==
Like Kacey, Kim actually tried to get Chris to improve his life. She encouraged Chris to eat right, to [[exercise]],<ref name="kaceycall7"/> to stop [[sigh]]ing and saying "whatever", to take his [[Lego]] city apart,<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref> to learn to play the [[guitar]],<ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref> to find a [[job]] (even giving him a mock job interview)<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref> and [[Affair with Mother|not to fuck his mother]].<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughs]]</ref> Chris obliged none of her requests.

==Real-life encounters==
Kim may have already encountered Chris by the spring of [[2009]]. In a chat with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] from [[April 2009|22 April]] Chris talked about meeting [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] at the mall along with a girl named Kim,<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref> although whether it was Kim Wilson is unknown. The only information discernible about the Kim mentioned in said chat is that she was not previously familiar to Chris (he had a slight trouble recalling her name) and that he was somewhat sexually interested in her ("[Kim] was cute and sexy, but I still remain devoted to my Sweetest [[Ivy]]").

At one point, Chris met Kim (Wilson) in person, going to an Applebee's with her and Kacey.<ref name="Father" />

On [[June 2009]] a number of [[Chris's Big Night Out|videos of Chris interacting in public]] were uploaded to the YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum], which, as Chris has confirmed, belongs to Kim.<ref name="Kacey 1" /> Another series of [[Chris's Big Night Out II|similar videos]] was released by the same account on [[July 2009]]. Part II was shot long before its release in July 2009 - the girl in the video mentions hiding from Chris the fact that she's in a relationship, but Chris was under the impression that Kim had a boyfriend named Logan a month before the video's release - 15 June 2009.<ref name="sorry" />

The boyfriend Logan character was created as a means to prevent Chris from being too creepy to Kim, and as a means to [[manipulation|manipulate]] Chris into doing something by feeding him a sob story about Kim and Logan having relationship problems.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Boyfriend Character]]</ref>

In [[2018]], Kim introduced a friend to Chris. She described the meeting in a Kiwi Farms post:<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Introducing Chris to Friend]]</ref>

{{quotebox|A friend was coming to visit from out of town and he had been such a huge fan of Sonichu for a long time(kek). I never planned to hang out with Chris ever again but I figured it would be a last good hoorah and as a treat to my friend. So I set up it up and we met at The Tea Bazaar. Another friend came along as well. Chris showed up looking like he got dressed in a Goodwill with his eyes closed with his damn Sonichu medallions and tacky ass arm bands and braclets.

Introductions included introducing us to [[Polyamorous marriage|Magichan and I think Mewtwo who were supposed to be sitting in some empty seating]]. Afterwards, almost fucking immediately he pulled out this fairly large pouch from under his shirt which was around his neck. He dumped the contents out on the table which were [[Magic stones|a bunch of crystals and rocks]]. For the next agonizing half hour+ he picked up every single one to tell us what it was and what "properties" it had. No matter how hard we tried to change the subject he immediately went back to powering through his rock collection. Nothing would deter him. Eventually the rock lecture ended and we were free to steer the conversation elsewhere.

He gifted me a copy of one of his comics and an amethyst stone which I later gave my friend because I didn't need those cursed items in my house. Most of the conversation was him talking about the other dimension and his powers. He bragged about how he was able to produce electricity with his hand, in which he held out his hand in a claw like manor, the concentration on his face akin to that of an infant trying to pass a hard poop. Then he asked if we could see it which we didn't indulge him and told him no. His response was along the lines of "Mmm, okay."

He told me he was able to produced sparks with his [[Amnyfest Ring|magical highschool ring]] when he struck it against some stone on his bracelet. I told him the stone in his ring was chipped from doing that. My friend humored him a little bit asking him questions about toon world. Friend kept using words like Armageddon and the apolocalypse which Chris didn't like. Friend also compared him to Robotnik which he got mad at.

Honestly, I zoned out a lot of the time because really, Chris is fucking boring. He's an entertaining novelty for about 30 minutes. Longer than that, you start to wonder why you put yourself in that situation.}}

==Mentions in videos==
In [[June 2009]], after Chris created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', an upset Kim forced Chris to create the apology video
''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', in which Chris insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Kim claimed to be upset because her boyfriend had a gay brother who lost both his arms in Iraq,<ref name="sorry">[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]</ref> the veracity of which was never confirmed.

Chris mentions Kim in his [[August 2009]] video, [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]], in which Chris states that Kim brought it to his attention that his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] of [[Liquid Chris]] was too harsh of a punishment.<ref>[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]</ref>

In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], made on 14 [[March 2010]], Chris mentions that he shares with [[The Wallflower]] a female friend, whom he nicknames Scarlet. Seeing that Kim's YouTube username is ScarletSanctum, this is likely a reference to her. In the video, Chris says that he forwarded to Scarlet the "admissions" of [[Surfshack Tito]], likely referring to the email Tito sent him on the day the video was made.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 3]]: Scroll down the page to see the aforementioned email from Tito.</ref>

In the [[Autism Tutorial]]s Chris made several mentions of a gal-pal of his named "Mic". Considering his [[Naitsirch|fondness]] [[Slaweel|for anagrams]], it is not unlikely to assume that Mic is a code name for Kim. In his first mention of Mic Chris bemoans her unwillingness to move him out of her [[friend zone]].<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]</ref> If she is really Kim this suggest that at some point she broke up with Logan, as Chris would probably not try to take things with her to the next level if she wasn't [[Boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]].

In his last mention of Mic, Chris says that they do not often hang out with each other due to Mic being busy.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]</ref>

==Facebook==
After Chris retreated from public view into his private Facebook page in 2012, Kim followed him there and made regular comments on his wall. Her remarks are usually compliments or bits of gently proffered advice attempting to push Chris's socializing in a positive direction (though he does not often follow them) or occasionally some serious criticism (which he never follows).

On 5 September 2012 [[Anna McLerran]] called Kim out as a troll in a comment thread following [[September 2012 Facebook posts#Possible troll|one of Chris's posts]]. Either Chris ignored her accusation or he wasn't convinced, as he continued to recognize Kim as one of his few friends in subsequent updates.

On 12 May 2015, Kim commented on a photo on Chris's Facebook page, revealing that he is now taking female hormones.

Following Chris and [[Jessica Quinn]]'s [[Jessica Quinn#Second breakup|breakup]] on 5 October 2017, Kim attempted to console Chris; however she misinterpreted the cause, to which Chris [[Chris and anger|ranted at her]]. In his rage, Chris remarked that Kim knows the [[Magical Man]]'s identity:

<center><gallery>

File:Chris_vs_Kim_Wilson_Oct_2017.png

File:IMG 04.jpg

File:IMG_05.jpg

</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)]]

{{References}}

{{EmilySaga}}
{{LiquidSaga}}
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wilson, Kim}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Michael Snyder

2023-02-01T04:18:16Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Protip|Do NOT attempt to contact Michael Snyder.
Snyder has had no known contact with Chris for nearly a decade. He definitely doesn't want to talk about an autistic motherfucker with a stranger on the internet.}}

{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!... '''JEW!'''|Chris, in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]].}}

{{quote|I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than [[Borb|your fossilized parents]] could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child [[Creepy stare|creeping out]] all the other [[Pokémon|pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and contests|unsportsmanlike]] punk.|Michael Snyder, responding to Chris's [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video.}}

{{infobox Person
| title = Michael Snyder
| image = HNI 0022-cropped.jpg
| size = 250px
| name = Michael John Snyder
| aliases = Mike
| gender = Male
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| race = White
| religion = Judaism
| occupation = [[Manajerk]], [[The GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Owner, Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011-2014)
| saga = {{saga|gameplace|cn}}
|}}

'''Michael John "Mike" Snyder''' (Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל ג'ון „מייק“ שניידר) is one of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s many enemies. He was the [[manajerk|manager]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (later known as Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store that was in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the incorrect conclusion that Snyder was Jewish; in actuality, "Snyder" is actually an Americanized version of either the Dutch surname "Snijder", the German surname "Schneider", or the Slavic surname "Šnajdr" (all of which translate to "tailor" in their respective languages).<ref>[https://www.ancestry.com/name-origin?surname=snyder Ancestry.com]</ref>.

Due to his [[Naïve|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]",<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref> a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew",<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> "cold-hearted and mean",<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> a "sonofabitch",<ref>[[May 2013 Facebook Posts|I have had more freedom when my father was alive]]</ref> and "[[pedofork|CHILDREN-FUCKING-DAMNED]]".<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref>

In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris committed a more serious attack on him for which they were both convicted. [[Law|Legal]] punishment as well as the store's eventual closing have done nothing to check Chris's [[anger|rage]].

Despite being a major antagonist in Chris's eyes, Snyder was spared from being adapted into a Sonichu counterpart villain. This might have been because he didn't threaten the [[Love Quest]] or, more likely, [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu went on hiatus]] some time before Chris began developing further antipathy towards the store manager.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, [[Ban|Permanently]], After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior at the GAMe PLACe offended the store's management in a number of ways. He slacked off on his (supposed) duty as a Pokémon gym leader, scared the children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and let his [[race|racism]] and [[homos|homophobia]] shine. He also took his video game consoles into the store and hogged the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sang [[Britney Spears]] songs during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]], and much more.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> In April 2008, Chris's behavior got him a two-week ban from the store.

The trigger for his permanent ban on 6 June [[2008]]<ref>This date is arrived at by an analysis of Chris's letters to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his Game Place friends. Mimms' claim that the permanent ban took place in August does not hold up.</ref> was a shouting match with a black kid. It was on that day that Mike permanently banned Chris from the store; although, as Mimms claimed, he "was looking for any reason to ban him at this point". Michael himself later recalled in a response to one of Chris's videos, "I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk".<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy#Michael Snyder's reply]]</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce rejoinder by his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.

==Years of hatred==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville… [[Destruction Of Chris's House|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]], February 2011}}
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

Chris has given many different explanations for why he was banned, but has never believed it was justified. In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris claimed that he had been thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. It was in this month, according to Chris, that Michael Snyder forced him to stop hogging the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of kids to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry, and snatched a card box to write "Michael Snyder Loves the 'F' out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]" on it. This so-called "Wii incident", Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw which precipitated the ban. This account is [[List of Chris's Lies|almost certainly false]]; apart from contradicting Mimms' more objective account, Chris predictably tried to paint himself as getting one up on Snyder, and assumed that Mike would know or care who Mary was.

On another occasion, however, Chris claimed that "Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store".<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref> In December 2013, his explanation was, "he has his hangups against me (still has them); he's either frightened or angry at me for the one or two times I let out a loud shout when there was too much going on at the time and I couldn't take it anymore".<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref> At other times, he has assumed that Mike is prejudiced against autistic individuals, and had discriminated against him. In any case, while Chris has sometimes admitted that he caused some small problems, he has not felt that they justified a permanent ban, and he blames Snyder's overreaction on an irrational hatred.

Even worse, from Chris's perspective, Michael refused to accept his numerous apologies and lift the ban. In March 2009, Chris made a clearly self-serving [[YouTube]] video apology to Michael and asked to be readmitted to the PLACe. The following month he tried again, posting an apology on the sidebar of another video. Yet again in October 2010, Chris made a bogus YouTube apology in order to look better to his [[Jackie|girlfriend]]. None of them had any effect. On 12 April 2010, Chris trespassed to pay a personal visit to Michael at the PLACe, and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|tried to apologize]] in an attempt to get the ban lifted. Michael said no. Chris quickly dissolved into fury, [[South Park|yelling "Jew"]] as an insult and flipping him off. Michael attempted to get the fuzz, but by the time they got there Chris had already scrammed.

Unable to comprehend Michael's actions, Chris came to suspect that some greater conspiracy was at work. As the organized trolling of Chris shifted into high gear, Chris wondered if Michael was somehow behind it all. "What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!!," he asked in July 2009. In May 2010, he put forth the theory that Greene County, Virginia school board officials had persuaded Michael to ban him, for no other reason than to make his life miserable. Perhaps because of this conspiratorial mindset, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion that Michael was Jewish on account of his last name. In [[100 2178|his May 2010 video]], Chris called Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY... SNYDER," seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" [or "Sneijder"] descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some Eastern European and Russian Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing "Shnaider" (Шнайдер) or "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. The bottom line is that Michael is not Jewish.

[[Matthew Noble call|A phone call]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] (and, presumably, Barb as well) shared Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central:

{{Quote|Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In [[Wikipedia:Madison, Virginia|Madison]] or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it... Mike and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob. Oh, Bob.}}

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris had a few beers and drove to the PLACe to make a [[CWC is Angry|dartboard]] out of Mike's picture. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. Two [[jerkops|police officers]] present at the shopping center stopped the fracas. At that moment Michael appeared on YouTube and commented "Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. They witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it." The officers listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken. To present his side of the story, Chris posted an incredibly delusional [[6 June 2010|video]] in which he claimed that Michael had jumped on top of his hood and shouted, "YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!" He admitted to trying to flee from the police, and saw nothing wrong with his actions. Chris told a very similar fanciful story of [[26 December 2014|another assault]] four years later. Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Chris's hatred of Michael only grew. He began to insinuate that Michael was a child molester based on no evidence whatsoever.<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> He also assumed that Michael was a violent maniac. While making plans to visit the store in April 2010, Chris wrote, "I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> On another occasion he said that he was so afraid of Mike that he did not want to confront him while "unarmed" and alone.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> Ironically, Chris himself has on many occasions expressed violent urges against Michael, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun,<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

==Shit gets real==
[[File:Snider.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's impression of the Jew-Spider]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and Barb launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", newly owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit the proprietor with their vehicle and injured him. They were arrested near the scene and spent a day in jail. Both faced felony charges for failure to stop after an accident, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault, and Barb had a second felony charge for assault on a [[Jerkop|law enforcement official]]. Mike filed a civil suit against them both.

The plea bargain hearing was held on 10 July 2012. Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder magnanimously pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain, however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" '''in court''' (though Snyder himself was not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went|First-hand report by Cyan and Indigo]]</ref>

In September 2013, Chris's felony charge was amended to a misdemeanor, and his sentence was suspended.
{{-}}

==The hatred continues==
{{quote|I hate Snyder with a passion for destroying my life the way he did.|Chris following the plea bargain hearing.}}
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 30.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's [[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Snyder. He shakes this container and holds it upside down to torture him.]]

Chris learned nothing from this run-in with the law, and his anger towards Michael intensified. As with the previous run-in, Chris related an extremely distorted account of the incident immediately after the fact. "Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls." What's more, according to Chris, Mike had set a "trap" by posting a sign saying that there was a "new owner," inducing him and his mother to enter the store. Chris has never deviated from this interpretation. The fact that Michael actually won the court case shocked Chris, and he saw this as a theft by Michael.

As Chris continued to dwell on these issues, he came up with a new conspiracy to explain his original ban. In this version, [[Megan]] had recruited Michael into a conspiracy to destroy his life. Just as Chris and his parents had been coming close to discovering this Game PLACe conspiracy in 2008, Michael had banned him. Furthermore, as part of the "trap" Michael had laid on 28 October 2011, he had bribed the police to beat him up and falsify their reports. By September 2013, he regarded Michael, Megan and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as some sort of axis of evil, "the Top Three Fiends and Enemies of my lifetime; the ones who actually have Devastated my Heart, my Soul, my Reputation Online AND in Person/Real Life, my Emotions, AND my Life in General all-around."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref>

Chris claimed that he randomly encountered Snyder in public some time in August 2013:

{{quotebox|WTH... The same [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at [[List of restaurants#Sheetz|Sheetz]] in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate [sic] his own "restraining order."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline Troll/Bully]]</ref>}}

Chris clearly interpreted Mike's calming words as a threat. He also displayed his characteristic ignorance of [[Chris and the Law|the law]] - Chris was required to keep away from Snyder, not vice versa. This is Snyder's last known interaction in regards to Chris.

By June 2014, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys had been closed for unknown reasons. Chris took some comfort from this, assuming that Michael's "get-rich-quick scheme" of filing the civil suit had somehow failed.<ref>[[Medallions|The Mr. Smith Situation]]</ref> Whether Michael succumbed to Chris's curses, emigrated to Israel, or met some other fate is unclear and due to chris not saying anything recent about him, we may never know.

As of August 2017, Chris not only still believes Mike Snyder set him up, but also blames him for [[Chris and money|blowing all of Bob's pension]] during the [[This is how the Trial went|2012 plea bargain hearing]]. Because [[Chris and reality|"Mike rubbing his legs against Chris's car" is somehow to blame]], as opposed to hiring an [[Rob Bell|expensive lawyer]].<ref>[[August 2017 Facebook posts#Chris still blames Snyder for everything]]</ref>

Mike also had a YouTube account, ''TheRcholic'', which he created to provide details of the 4 June 2010 incident and to reply directly to Chris on his [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video. The account was later left dormant and was eventually closed by Mike.

{{-}}
===A new adversary?===
[[File:AlogSockness.jpg|thumb|[[Jacob Sockness]] deciding to [[A-Log]] against Snyder over an incident that happened so long ago, even Chris has begun to forget about it.]]
In September 2019, [[Jacob Sockness]], Chris's latest orbiter and a malicious enabler of his beliefs in the [[Dimensional Merge]], was seen attempting to incite Snyder via the guestbook for an obituary site which listed Snyder's deceased father. Sockness also attempted to harass Snyder upon rumours circulating that a new Game PLACe had opened in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

Ultimately, it seems that Chris may have completely dismissed this facet of Sockness's idiocy, as Chris has yet to comment on the rumors of his former haunt receiving new premises.

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20100421005416/http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic Archive of the YouTube account]

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Michael Snyder

2023-02-01T04:17:41Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Protip|Do NOT attempt to contact Michael Snyder.
Snyder has had no known contact with Chris for nearly a decade. He definitely doesn't want to talk about an autistic motherfucker with a stranger on the internet.}}

{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!... '''JEW!'''|Chris, in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]].}}

{{quote|I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than [[Borb|your fossilized parents]] could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child [[Creepy stare|creeping out]] all the other [[Pokémon|pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and contests|unsportsmanlike]] punk.|Michael Snyder, responding to Chris's [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video.}}

{{infobox Person
| title = Michael Snyder
| image = HNI 0022-cropped.jpg
| size = 250px
| name = Michael John Snyder
| aliases = Mike
| gender = Male
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| race = White
| religion = Judeasim
| occupation = [[Manajerk]], [[The GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Owner, Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011-2014)
| saga = {{saga|gameplace|cn}}
|}}

'''Michael John "Mike" Snyder''' (Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל ג'ון „מייק“ שניידר) is one of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s many enemies. He was the [[manajerk|manager]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (later known as Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store that was in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the incorrect conclusion that Snyder was Jewish; in actuality, "Snyder" is actually an Americanized version of either the Dutch surname "Snijder", the German surname "Schneider", or the Slavic surname "Šnajdr" (all of which translate to "tailor" in their respective languages).<ref>[https://www.ancestry.com/name-origin?surname=snyder Ancestry.com]</ref>.

Due to his [[Naïve|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]",<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref> a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew",<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> "cold-hearted and mean",<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> a "sonofabitch",<ref>[[May 2013 Facebook Posts|I have had more freedom when my father was alive]]</ref> and "[[pedofork|CHILDREN-FUCKING-DAMNED]]".<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref>

In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris committed a more serious attack on him for which they were both convicted. [[Law|Legal]] punishment as well as the store's eventual closing have done nothing to check Chris's [[anger|rage]].

Despite being a major antagonist in Chris's eyes, Snyder was spared from being adapted into a Sonichu counterpart villain. This might have been because he didn't threaten the [[Love Quest]] or, more likely, [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu went on hiatus]] some time before Chris began developing further antipathy towards the store manager.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, [[Ban|Permanently]], After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior at the GAMe PLACe offended the store's management in a number of ways. He slacked off on his (supposed) duty as a Pokémon gym leader, scared the children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and let his [[race|racism]] and [[homos|homophobia]] shine. He also took his video game consoles into the store and hogged the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sang [[Britney Spears]] songs during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]], and much more.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> In April 2008, Chris's behavior got him a two-week ban from the store.

The trigger for his permanent ban on 6 June [[2008]]<ref>This date is arrived at by an analysis of Chris's letters to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his Game Place friends. Mimms' claim that the permanent ban took place in August does not hold up.</ref> was a shouting match with a black kid. It was on that day that Mike permanently banned Chris from the store; although, as Mimms claimed, he "was looking for any reason to ban him at this point". Michael himself later recalled in a response to one of Chris's videos, "I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk".<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy#Michael Snyder's reply]]</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce rejoinder by his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.

==Years of hatred==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville… [[Destruction Of Chris's House|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]], February 2011}}
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

Chris has given many different explanations for why he was banned, but has never believed it was justified. In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris claimed that he had been thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. It was in this month, according to Chris, that Michael Snyder forced him to stop hogging the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of kids to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry, and snatched a card box to write "Michael Snyder Loves the 'F' out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]" on it. This so-called "Wii incident", Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw which precipitated the ban. This account is [[List of Chris's Lies|almost certainly false]]; apart from contradicting Mimms' more objective account, Chris predictably tried to paint himself as getting one up on Snyder, and assumed that Mike would know or care who Mary was.

On another occasion, however, Chris claimed that "Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store".<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref> In December 2013, his explanation was, "he has his hangups against me (still has them); he's either frightened or angry at me for the one or two times I let out a loud shout when there was too much going on at the time and I couldn't take it anymore".<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref> At other times, he has assumed that Mike is prejudiced against autistic individuals, and had discriminated against him. In any case, while Chris has sometimes admitted that he caused some small problems, he has not felt that they justified a permanent ban, and he blames Snyder's overreaction on an irrational hatred.

Even worse, from Chris's perspective, Michael refused to accept his numerous apologies and lift the ban. In March 2009, Chris made a clearly self-serving [[YouTube]] video apology to Michael and asked to be readmitted to the PLACe. The following month he tried again, posting an apology on the sidebar of another video. Yet again in October 2010, Chris made a bogus YouTube apology in order to look better to his [[Jackie|girlfriend]]. None of them had any effect. On 12 April 2010, Chris trespassed to pay a personal visit to Michael at the PLACe, and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|tried to apologize]] in an attempt to get the ban lifted. Michael said no. Chris quickly dissolved into fury, [[South Park|yelling "Jew"]] as an insult and flipping him off. Michael attempted to get the fuzz, but by the time they got there Chris had already scrammed.

Unable to comprehend Michael's actions, Chris came to suspect that some greater conspiracy was at work. As the organized trolling of Chris shifted into high gear, Chris wondered if Michael was somehow behind it all. "What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!!," he asked in July 2009. In May 2010, he put forth the theory that Greene County, Virginia school board officials had persuaded Michael to ban him, for no other reason than to make his life miserable. Perhaps because of this conspiratorial mindset, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion that Michael was Jewish on account of his last name. In [[100 2178|his May 2010 video]], Chris called Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY... SNYDER," seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" [or "Sneijder"] descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some Eastern European and Russian Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing "Shnaider" (Шнайдер) or "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. The bottom line is that Michael is not Jewish.

[[Matthew Noble call|A phone call]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] (and, presumably, Barb as well) shared Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central:

{{Quote|Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In [[Wikipedia:Madison, Virginia|Madison]] or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it... Mike and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob. Oh, Bob.}}

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris had a few beers and drove to the PLACe to make a [[CWC is Angry|dartboard]] out of Mike's picture. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. Two [[jerkops|police officers]] present at the shopping center stopped the fracas. At that moment Michael appeared on YouTube and commented "Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. They witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it." The officers listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken. To present his side of the story, Chris posted an incredibly delusional [[6 June 2010|video]] in which he claimed that Michael had jumped on top of his hood and shouted, "YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!" He admitted to trying to flee from the police, and saw nothing wrong with his actions. Chris told a very similar fanciful story of [[26 December 2014|another assault]] four years later. Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Chris's hatred of Michael only grew. He began to insinuate that Michael was a child molester based on no evidence whatsoever.<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> He also assumed that Michael was a violent maniac. While making plans to visit the store in April 2010, Chris wrote, "I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> On another occasion he said that he was so afraid of Mike that he did not want to confront him while "unarmed" and alone.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> Ironically, Chris himself has on many occasions expressed violent urges against Michael, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun,<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

==Shit gets real==
[[File:Snider.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's impression of the Jew-Spider]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and Barb launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", newly owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit the proprietor with their vehicle and injured him. They were arrested near the scene and spent a day in jail. Both faced felony charges for failure to stop after an accident, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault, and Barb had a second felony charge for assault on a [[Jerkop|law enforcement official]]. Mike filed a civil suit against them both.

The plea bargain hearing was held on 10 July 2012. Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder magnanimously pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain, however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" '''in court''' (though Snyder himself was not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went|First-hand report by Cyan and Indigo]]</ref>

In September 2013, Chris's felony charge was amended to a misdemeanor, and his sentence was suspended.
{{-}}

==The hatred continues==
{{quote|I hate Snyder with a passion for destroying my life the way he did.|Chris following the plea bargain hearing.}}
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 30.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's [[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Snyder. He shakes this container and holds it upside down to torture him.]]

Chris learned nothing from this run-in with the law, and his anger towards Michael intensified. As with the previous run-in, Chris related an extremely distorted account of the incident immediately after the fact. "Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls." What's more, according to Chris, Mike had set a "trap" by posting a sign saying that there was a "new owner," inducing him and his mother to enter the store. Chris has never deviated from this interpretation. The fact that Michael actually won the court case shocked Chris, and he saw this as a theft by Michael.

As Chris continued to dwell on these issues, he came up with a new conspiracy to explain his original ban. In this version, [[Megan]] had recruited Michael into a conspiracy to destroy his life. Just as Chris and his parents had been coming close to discovering this Game PLACe conspiracy in 2008, Michael had banned him. Furthermore, as part of the "trap" Michael had laid on 28 October 2011, he had bribed the police to beat him up and falsify their reports. By September 2013, he regarded Michael, Megan and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as some sort of axis of evil, "the Top Three Fiends and Enemies of my lifetime; the ones who actually have Devastated my Heart, my Soul, my Reputation Online AND in Person/Real Life, my Emotions, AND my Life in General all-around."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref>

Chris claimed that he randomly encountered Snyder in public some time in August 2013:

{{quotebox|WTH... The same [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at [[List of restaurants#Sheetz|Sheetz]] in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate [sic] his own "restraining order."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline Troll/Bully]]</ref>}}

Chris clearly interpreted Mike's calming words as a threat. He also displayed his characteristic ignorance of [[Chris and the Law|the law]] - Chris was required to keep away from Snyder, not vice versa. This is Snyder's last known interaction in regards to Chris.

By June 2014, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys had been closed for unknown reasons. Chris took some comfort from this, assuming that Michael's "get-rich-quick scheme" of filing the civil suit had somehow failed.<ref>[[Medallions|The Mr. Smith Situation]]</ref> Whether Michael succumbed to Chris's curses, emigrated to Israel, or met some other fate is unclear and due to chris not saying anything recent about him, we may never know.

As of August 2017, Chris not only still believes Mike Snyder set him up, but also blames him for [[Chris and money|blowing all of Bob's pension]] during the [[This is how the Trial went|2012 plea bargain hearing]]. Because [[Chris and reality|"Mike rubbing his legs against Chris's car" is somehow to blame]], as opposed to hiring an [[Rob Bell|expensive lawyer]].<ref>[[August 2017 Facebook posts#Chris still blames Snyder for everything]]</ref>

Mike also had a YouTube account, ''TheRcholic'', which he created to provide details of the 4 June 2010 incident and to reply directly to Chris on his [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video. The account was later left dormant and was eventually closed by Mike.

{{-}}
===A new adversary?===
[[File:AlogSockness.jpg|thumb|[[Jacob Sockness]] deciding to [[A-Log]] against Snyder over an incident that happened so long ago, even Chris has begun to forget about it.]]
In September 2019, [[Jacob Sockness]], Chris's latest orbiter and a malicious enabler of his beliefs in the [[Dimensional Merge]], was seen attempting to incite Snyder via the guestbook for an obituary site which listed Snyder's deceased father. Sockness also attempted to harass Snyder upon rumours circulating that a new Game PLACe had opened in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

Ultimately, it seems that Chris may have completely dismissed this facet of Sockness's idiocy, as Chris has yet to comment on the rumors of his former haunt receiving new premises.

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20100421005416/http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic Archive of the YouTube account]

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Michael Snyder

2023-01-30T16:50:31Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Protip|Do NOT attempt to contact Michael Snyder.
Snyder has had no known contact with Chris for nearly a decade. He definitely doesn't want to talk about an autistic motherfucker with a stranger on the internet.}}

{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!... '''JEW!'''|Chris, in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]].}}

{{quote|I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than [[Borb|your fossilized parents]] could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child [[Creepy stare|creeping out]] all the other [[Pokémon|pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and contests|unsportsmanlike]] punk.|Michael Snyder, responding to Chris's [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video.}}

{{infobox Person
| title = Michael Snyder
| image = HNI 0022-cropped.jpg
| size = 250px
| name = Michael John Snyder
| aliases = Mike
| gender = Male
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| race = White
| religion = “Jewish”
| occupation = [[Manajerk]], [[The GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Owner, Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011-2014)
| saga = {{saga|gameplace|cn}}
|}}

'''Michael John "Mike" Snyder''' (Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל ג'ון „מייק“ שניידר) is one of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s many enemies. He was the [[manajerk|manager]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (later known as Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store that was in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the incorrect conclusion that Snyder was Jewish; in actuality, "Snyder" is actually an Americanized version of either the Dutch surname "Snijder", the German surname "Schneider", or the Slavic surname "Šnajdr" (all of which translate to "tailor" in their respective languages).<ref>[https://www.ancestry.com/name-origin?surname=snyder Ancestry.com]</ref>.

Due to his [[Naïve|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]",<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref> a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew",<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> "cold-hearted and mean",<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> a "sonofabitch",<ref>[[May 2013 Facebook Posts|I have had more freedom when my father was alive]]</ref> and "[[pedofork|CHILDREN-FUCKING-DAMNED]]".<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref>

In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris committed a more serious attack on him for which they were both convicted. [[Law|Legal]] punishment as well as the store's eventual closing have done nothing to check Chris's [[anger|rage]].

Despite being a major antagonist in Chris's eyes, Snyder was spared from being adapted into a Sonichu counterpart villain. This might have been because he didn't threaten the [[Love Quest]] or, more likely, [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu went on hiatus]] some time before Chris began developing further antipathy towards the store manager.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, [[Ban|Permanently]], After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior at the GAMe PLACe offended the store's management in a number of ways. He slacked off on his (supposed) duty as a Pokémon gym leader, scared the children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and let his [[race|racism]] and [[homos|homophobia]] shine. He also took his video game consoles into the store and hogged the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sang [[Britney Spears]] songs during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]], and much more.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> In April 2008, Chris's behavior got him a two-week ban from the store.

The trigger for his permanent ban on 6 June [[2008]]<ref>This date is arrived at by an analysis of Chris's letters to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his Game Place friends. Mimms' claim that the permanent ban took place in August does not hold up.</ref> was a shouting match with a black kid. It was on that day that Mike permanently banned Chris from the store; although, as Mimms claimed, he "was looking for any reason to ban him at this point". Michael himself later recalled in a response to one of Chris's videos, "I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk".<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy#Michael Snyder's reply]]</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce rejoinder by his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.

==Years of hatred==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville… [[Destruction Of Chris's House|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]], February 2011}}
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

Chris has given many different explanations for why he was banned, but has never believed it was justified. In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris claimed that he had been thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. It was in this month, according to Chris, that Michael Snyder forced him to stop hogging the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of kids to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry, and snatched a card box to write "Michael Snyder Loves the 'F' out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]" on it. This so-called "Wii incident", Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw which precipitated the ban. This account is [[List of Chris's Lies|almost certainly false]]; apart from contradicting Mimms' more objective account, Chris predictably tried to paint himself as getting one up on Snyder, and assumed that Mike would know or care who Mary was.

On another occasion, however, Chris claimed that "Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store".<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref> In December 2013, his explanation was, "he has his hangups against me (still has them); he's either frightened or angry at me for the one or two times I let out a loud shout when there was too much going on at the time and I couldn't take it anymore".<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref> At other times, he has assumed that Mike is prejudiced against autistic individuals, and had discriminated against him. In any case, while Chris has sometimes admitted that he caused some small problems, he has not felt that they justified a permanent ban, and he blames Snyder's overreaction on an irrational hatred.

Even worse, from Chris's perspective, Michael refused to accept his numerous apologies and lift the ban. In March 2009, Chris made a clearly self-serving [[YouTube]] video apology to Michael and asked to be readmitted to the PLACe. The following month he tried again, posting an apology on the sidebar of another video. Yet again in October 2010, Chris made a bogus YouTube apology in order to look better to his [[Jackie|girlfriend]]. None of them had any effect. On 12 April 2010, Chris trespassed to pay a personal visit to Michael at the PLACe, and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|tried to apologize]] in an attempt to get the ban lifted. Michael said no. Chris quickly dissolved into fury, [[South Park|yelling "Jew"]] as an insult and flipping him off. Michael attempted to get the fuzz, but by the time they got there Chris had already scrammed.

Unable to comprehend Michael's actions, Chris came to suspect that some greater conspiracy was at work. As the organized trolling of Chris shifted into high gear, Chris wondered if Michael was somehow behind it all. "What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!!," he asked in July 2009. In May 2010, he put forth the theory that Greene County, Virginia school board officials had persuaded Michael to ban him, for no other reason than to make his life miserable. Perhaps because of this conspiratorial mindset, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion that Michael was Jewish on account of his last name. In [[100 2178|his May 2010 video]], Chris called Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY... SNYDER," seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" [or "Sneijder"] descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some Eastern European and Russian Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing "Shnaider" (Шнайдер) or "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. The bottom line is that Michael is not Jewish.

[[Matthew Noble call|A phone call]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] (and, presumably, Barb as well) shared Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central:

{{Quote|Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In [[Wikipedia:Madison, Virginia|Madison]] or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it... Mike and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob. Oh, Bob.}}

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris had a few beers and drove to the PLACe to make a [[CWC is Angry|dartboard]] out of Mike's picture. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. Two [[jerkops|police officers]] present at the shopping center stopped the fracas. At that moment Michael appeared on YouTube and commented "Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. They witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it." The officers listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken. To present his side of the story, Chris posted an incredibly delusional [[6 June 2010|video]] in which he claimed that Michael had jumped on top of his hood and shouted, "YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!" He admitted to trying to flee from the police, and saw nothing wrong with his actions. Chris told a very similar fanciful story of [[26 December 2014|another assault]] four years later. Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Chris's hatred of Michael only grew. He began to insinuate that Michael was a child molester based on no evidence whatsoever.<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> He also assumed that Michael was a violent maniac. While making plans to visit the store in April 2010, Chris wrote, "I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> On another occasion he said that he was so afraid of Mike that he did not want to confront him while "unarmed" and alone.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> Ironically, Chris himself has on many occasions expressed violent urges against Michael, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun,<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

==Shit gets real==
[[File:Snider.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's impression of the Jew-Spider]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and Barb launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", newly owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit the proprietor with their vehicle and injured him. They were arrested near the scene and spent a day in jail. Both faced felony charges for failure to stop after an accident, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault, and Barb had a second felony charge for assault on a [[Jerkop|law enforcement official]]. Mike filed a civil suit against them both.

The plea bargain hearing was held on 10 July 2012. Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder magnanimously pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain, however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" '''in court''' (though Snyder himself was not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went|First-hand report by Cyan and Indigo]]</ref>

In September 2013, Chris's felony charge was amended to a misdemeanor, and his sentence was suspended.
{{-}}

==The hatred continues==
{{quote|I hate Snyder with a passion for destroying my life the way he did.|Chris following the plea bargain hearing.}}
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 30.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's [[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Snyder. He shakes this container and holds it upside down to torture him.]]

Chris learned nothing from this run-in with the law, and his anger towards Michael intensified. As with the previous run-in, Chris related an extremely distorted account of the incident immediately after the fact. "Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls." What's more, according to Chris, Mike had set a "trap" by posting a sign saying that there was a "new owner," inducing him and his mother to enter the store. Chris has never deviated from this interpretation. The fact that Michael actually won the court case shocked Chris, and he saw this as a theft by Michael.

As Chris continued to dwell on these issues, he came up with a new conspiracy to explain his original ban. In this version, [[Megan]] had recruited Michael into a conspiracy to destroy his life. Just as Chris and his parents had been coming close to discovering this Game PLACe conspiracy in 2008, Michael had banned him. Furthermore, as part of the "trap" Michael had laid on 28 October 2011, he had bribed the police to beat him up and falsify their reports. By September 2013, he regarded Michael, Megan and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as some sort of axis of evil, "the Top Three Fiends and Enemies of my lifetime; the ones who actually have Devastated my Heart, my Soul, my Reputation Online AND in Person/Real Life, my Emotions, AND my Life in General all-around."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref>

Chris claimed that he randomly encountered Snyder in public some time in August 2013:

{{quotebox|WTH... The same [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at [[List of restaurants#Sheetz|Sheetz]] in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate [sic] his own "restraining order."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline Troll/Bully]]</ref>}}

Chris clearly interpreted Mike's calming words as a threat. He also displayed his characteristic ignorance of [[Chris and the Law|the law]] - Chris was required to keep away from Snyder, not vice versa. This is Snyder's last known interaction in regards to Chris.

By June 2014, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys had been closed for unknown reasons. Chris took some comfort from this, assuming that Michael's "get-rich-quick scheme" of filing the civil suit had somehow failed.<ref>[[Medallions|The Mr. Smith Situation]]</ref> Whether Michael succumbed to Chris's curses, emigrated to Israel, or met some other fate is unclear and due to chris not saying anything recent about him, we may never know.

As of August 2017, Chris not only still believes Mike Snyder set him up, but also blames him for [[Chris and money|blowing all of Bob's pension]] during the [[This is how the Trial went|2012 plea bargain hearing]]. Because [[Chris and reality|"Mike rubbing his legs against Chris's car" is somehow to blame]], as opposed to hiring an [[Rob Bell|expensive lawyer]].<ref>[[August 2017 Facebook posts#Chris still blames Snyder for everything]]</ref>

Mike also had a YouTube account, ''TheRcholic'', which he created to provide details of the 4 June 2010 incident and to reply directly to Chris on his [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video. The account was later left dormant and was eventually closed by Mike.

{{-}}
===A new adversary?===
[[File:AlogSockness.jpg|thumb|[[Jacob Sockness]] deciding to [[A-Log]] against Snyder over an incident that happened so long ago, even Chris has begun to forget about it.]]
In September 2019, [[Jacob Sockness]], Chris's latest orbiter and a malicious enabler of his beliefs in the [[Dimensional Merge]], was seen attempting to incite Snyder via the guestbook for an obituary site which listed Snyder's deceased father. Sockness also attempted to harass Snyder upon rumours circulating that a new Game PLACe had opened in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

Ultimately, it seems that Chris may have completely dismissed this facet of Sockness's idiocy, as Chris has yet to comment on the rumors of his former haunt receiving new premises.

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20100421005416/http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic Archive of the YouTube account]

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Imaginary family

2023-01-27T17:39:52Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Incomplete}}

Chris Chan has numerous family members that exist only in C-197, while Chris has put some real-life counterparts into his imaginary world, this article covers those who have been made up entirely by Chris. This page will not cover Sonichu or the Chaotic combo since they already have their own pages and while Sonichu does refer to Chris as "father" or "mama", this is more along the lines of Chris being his [[Messiah complex| benevolent creator]] rather than an actual family.

Like most, if not all of Chris's original characters; pretty much all of them exist purely to worship him or to give him extra powers in the comic.

[[File:Sonichu - Issue 12, Cover.jpg|thumb|right]]

==Cherokee Clan leader==
{{Main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[file:chrisansestore.jpg|thumb| Native American Representation]]

The leader of the [[Cherokian Clan]] is a fictional ancestor of Chris, originating from Chris’s belief that he is part Cherokee, which was disproven in 2018 after Chris took a 23andme dna test.

The character is a Caucasian [[Chris and race|Aryan]] man wearing a Roman chest plate Halloween costume, showing how little Chris knew about the people he supposedly descended from. The character looks identical to Chris, who is meant to be his reincarnation.

He first makes an appearance in episode 7 of sonichu #2, introducing himself as Chris’s ancestor, tells him to kill [[Count Graduon]], and gives him his sonichu powers.

==Crystal Weston Chandler (twin)==

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Crystal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Crystal Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of creation'''
| 22 June [[Sonichu chronology#2005|2005]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human
|-
| '''Transforms into'''
| Crystalina Rosechu
|-
|}

[[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.]]

'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with<ref>Mentioned in his [[Song of Christian]] video: "hoping" for a "lil brother."</ref> along with some narcissistic pleasure and [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issues]] with seeing himself as an [[Homos#Chris and transsexuality|attractive female]]. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]].

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] correlating to Chris's [[Sonichu]] medallion and [[Reldnahc]]'s [[Black Sonichu]] medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which raises the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.

Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal (due to the two characters extremely similar appearance), a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck--and, as this article demonstrates, would've arisen anyway. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

The theme of incestuous narcissism is also prevalent in literature of the Romantic period, particularly that of Lord Byron, who apparently acted on Chris's fantasy. The theory is that the man in question is so much [[Chris and his ego|in love with himself]] that the only other person he could ever truly love is his double. Furthermore, with the Romantic emphasis on sympathy through [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|shared experience]], great nostalgia for [[Chris's room|childhood]], and desire to be "[[Love Quest|understood]]" (though complete disinterest in [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails|understanding]]) make a sibling an ideal sexual partner for the narcissist. Most of the Romantics saw the problem with this, and contented themselves with [[Sarah Hammer|childhood friends]], but then, Chris was never as smart as Wordsworth.

A possible early appearance is in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]] ([[1998]]) where Christian's kart passes something labelled "'''CRYSTLE'''" (the video quality is too low to see anything) and Chris shouts "Hi!" at it/her.
{{-}}

===In the comic===
[[File:Crys.PNG|thumb|left|Note the careful attention he paid to drawing his sister's boobs.]]
[[Image:Crystalina_Rosechu.jpg|thumb|Crystal's anthropomorphic form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier to wear sneakers.]]

Crystal was first introduced in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Sub-Episode 4]], where she appeared to aid Chris during a battle with the [[W-M-Manajerk]] in the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. Beaten and nearly subdued, Chris had a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He revealed to Chris that his [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle [[Bagget]] and the [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder in the [[Get-Tar Region]], as well as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] at the [[PVCC]].

Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] by Mary Lee Walsh and [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. In an attempt to save Chris and [[Sailor Megtune]] from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushed them both out of the way, becoming captive in the Mirror herself. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight - at one point, it was said that gathering the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] would allow Crystal to escape the mirror - but for the most part she was largely forgotten, especially while Christian himself was stuck in the practically identical [[Time Void]].

Since Chris had been keen on ejecting everyone he created from his [[sweetheart search]] misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler seemed quite grim. Then, partway through [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris suddenly turned into [[Collosal Chan]] and rescued her by simply [[Sonichu Special 4|walking in]], [[I AM STRONG|scooping her up]] in his arms and walking out of the mirror in the most [[Chris and writing|anti-climactic way]]. Chris originally planned that he would hand over mayoral power to his sister at the end of this issue, but for [[Chris and his Ego|some reason]] decided not to.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

Being Chris's twin, Crystal's powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called Crystalina Rosechu. When she and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] join together, they are able to form Chris-Chan Pure and execute a powerful ultimate attack known as [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]].

Her "personality" is identical to every single non-evil female character in the franchise: she does nothing except stereotypically girly activities (shopping,<s>getting high from </s> sampling perfumes, chatting about boys, etc) and [[Women's Rights|she defers to men in all things]]. Her fashion sense is similar to her twin brother; she wears the same clown shirts and has a Rosechu medallion. Crystal has an odd quirk where she constantly refers to Chris by his original name, "Christopher," instead of "Christian", the reasoning for which probably exists in Chris' head but has never been elucidated.

In a Twitter post, Chris, while [[Spirit possession|LARPing]] as Sonichu, presented Crystal's origin story. According to Chris, Crystal originated from another dimension where she took over [[CWCville|the helm]] after her dimension's Chris presumably dies. During a battle with her dimension's [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Crystal was sent through a portal into [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] after Chris used the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon her. Chris stated that Crystal decided to remain in C-197 after realizing that Chris was the TRUE and HONEST Chris.<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#What happened to Crystal and more Helena]]</ref>

As another display of Chris's failures in his Love Quest, she also appears to be one of the very few female characters in ''Sonichu'' who was never paired off with anyone.
{{clear}}

===Gallery===
<center><gallery>
Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Crystal joins the [[Moon-Pals]].
File:Collosalcrystalina.png|Crystal+Sonichu balls or something.
File:Crystal 001.jpg|Chris's most prominent thoughts on this matter.
Image:CrystalHawt.jpg|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

[[file:Patti-Chancard.jpg|thumb|Right|he couldn’t let her rest]]

==Patti-Chan==
{{Main|Patti-Chan}}

'''Patti Chandler''' (17 March [[1988]] - 27 [[June 2006]]) was [[Chris]]'s childhood dog, a {{w|Beagle}}-{{w|spitz}} mix who was put down in [[2006]], then brought back as a character in CWCville. Patti grew up with Chris and was the closest thing he had to a sibling, since his [[Cole Smithey| half brother]] wanted nothing to do with his family. In a phone call with [[Clyde Cash]], Chris compares the death of Clyde’s brother to the death of Patti, offending Clyde. Chris defended this by stating that Patti was like a sibling.

Chris brought Patti back to life in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' 6]] as [[Patti-Chan]] (a character created by [[Megan Schroeder]] to help Chris [[Chris and coping|cope]] with the loss of his beloved pet), where she somehow gained the ability to walk, talk, and apply for [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] in [[CWCville]].

==Sonichus and Rosechus==
{{see also|Robee Sonichu|Cera Rosechu}}

===Sonichu===

{{see also|Sonichu (character)}}

{{Quote|I will! Thank you, Father!| [[Sonichu 0]] cover art}}

[[File:Sonichu - Issue 0, Cover.jpg |thumb]]

Being Sonichu’s creator, Chris is established as a fatherly figure towards Sonichu and even has his creation call him “father” in the comics, despite there being no relation between the two nor an origin story for how they met.
In real life, whenever Chris is “possessed” by Sonichu, he refers to himself as “mama” and when redrawing his cover art for sonichu #0, he has sonichu call him mother to match with his current female pronouns.

Unfortunately this relationship would become much more disturbing later down the line.

===Russel and Cynthia===

{{quote|Back in human form, she extracted some of her essence. Then in (female) Sonichu form, she shot her essence up herself ... After that, when she tried to transform back to human, she could not. She was stuck in her Chris Chan Sonichu form. Then between Magi-Chan and the examinations at the hospital, she was knocked up for sure.|Chris, on the [[May_2015_Facebook_posts#Meet_Russel_and_Cynthia|beautiful act of conception.]]}} [[Image:Cynthia_and_Russel.jpg|thumb|The twins, ravenous for affection.]]

'''Russel Sonee''' and '''Cynthia Rosey''' are Chris's fictional Sonee and Rosey children. After Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Sonichu form]] became female to correspond with his [[Tomgirl Saga|newfound female identity]], he got the notion to use his own semen to impregnate himself, thus conceiving Russel and Cynthia. Miraculously, neither of the twins emerged as hideous mutants, and Chris proudly insists that they're completely [[autism]]-free.

This little experiment behind him, Chris shoved them off on [[Heather Iglesias]], claiming to visit them every now and again. They are first seen in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], attending the [[CWCville]] pride festival with their lesbian nanny. On catching sight of Chris, they immediately run up and cling to him, telling him they miss him. Chris gives them a dismissive "awww!" before coldly allowing Heather to take them away.

Chris described the conception again in 2020: ''"She did the thing from between her ol’ [[Duck|cock]] and moving the spunk into her [[Un-clit|vag]], and had to stay stuck in Sonichu form until Russel and Cynthia were born for a few weeks. After that, she went back to her human form, and she had to go through the similar quick process that Roberta went through, but the Estrogen was coming in quicker with C-Chan, since her alt-form was now female."''<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

==Reginald Chandler==
{{Quote|Alternatively, if I have a boy as well, I would name him Reginald; that was not a [[dream]]-thing though. I've had a [[PandaHalo|past internet gal-pal]], who would have likely become my girlfriend after she got here from her native land of Australia after finishing College there with a Teacher Degree. We role-played a family day with the children, and she chose the name of Reginald for the boy-child.|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}
[[File:FatherandSon.png|thumb|right|Chris and Baby Reginald Chandler (Reginald is the stupid little blue stud) from [[PlayingHouse]]]]

'''Reginald Chandler''' is [[Chris]]'s imaginary son and brother to his fictitious daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. He pees on the ceiling.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> He is briefly mentioned in chats with [[PandaHalo|Panda]].

His origins seemingly begin with [[PandaHalo]] and her discussions with Chris about the married life they will have in the future (as for Chris, [[Chris and reality|a single date will inevitably lead to a long and happy marriage]]).

Although Reginald has been mentioned several times in conversation, he is nothing in comparison to his younger sister in Chris's eyes. Reginald has no persona in the comics (except possibly as [[Reginald Sneasel]]) and has never appeared to Chris in a dream. Since the untimely death of PandaHalo, Reginald has not been mentioned outside of direct questioning and a recent video, although it is likely that Chris would still name his hypothetical first-born son Reginald all the same.

Reginald was featured in the [[PlayingHouse]] video, where Chris pretends [[Jackie]] is the mother of his children. This time he was depicted as the younger brother to Crystal. While Crystal can write in a diary despite being in preschool, Reginald was mitigated to speaking only in baby babble. The only interaction Chris has with him is complaining about cleaning up the mess he made in the bathroom, [[Butt garments|changing his diaper]], mentioning that he threw up several times during dinner (never stopping to wipe him off), and demanding he stay quiet for the night so he can [[Hanky panky|fuck]] his wife in peace. It's interesting to note that Chris mentions that Reginald sits in a booster seat, not a high chair. While it's likely Chris doesn't know the difference, it also implies Reginald is big enough to be a toddler. Being a toddler who can only speak in gibberish suggests he inherited [[Autism|a]] [[Speech impediment|lot]] from his father.

In [[April 2019]], [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]], purporting to depict a visit from a time-traveling Reginald.

==Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)==

{{Wise|by drawing himself buttfucking [[Sonichu]], then Sonichu will become pregnant with Crystal at some point.}}

{{quote|As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but [[Dreams|I HAVE A DREAM]]! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future.|Chris, presuming to know the wishes of GodBear<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:09-Crystal_Card.jpg|thumb|Crystal as a [[My Little Pony]] character]]

Around the age of [[2003|21]], [[Chris]] had multiple [[dreams]] in which [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] told him to find a [[sweetheart]] to build [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|from the ground-up]] to have his '''daughter Crystal''', named "after the [[Honor roll|illustrious metal]]",<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> according to him. In a custom ''[[My Little Pony]]'' trading card, Chris depicts Crystal as a pony who traveled back in time to help her father – Chris – find a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. This is [[Things Chris has ripped off|completely ripped off]] from Chibiusa's entire premise in ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.

===Crystal and the Love Quest===
[[Image:CrystalWestonChandler.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's impression. This is probably also Chris's impression. It is also the impression that no one ever wants to see become a reality.]]

Finding a woman who would birth Crystal has been a fairly consistent justification for Chris's [[Love Quest]]. At times he has seemed to be more [[Honest Content|honest]] in wanting a girlfriend so he can [[Chris and sex|get laid]] or prove he's straight. For example, when Julie expressed a desire to have a child, possibly with Chris, he was ambivalent, and seemed more interested in a threesome between Panda, Julie and himself.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3#2009-02-04]]</ref> Yet with new heartthrob Ivy, his fantasy of making a family was strong, and Chris was upset when Ivy said she didn't like the name Crystal, and demanded a say in their daughter's name.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Likewise, in a dialogue with potential sweetheart [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]], Chris revealed that he had a "[[Chris and religion|prophetic]]" dream about Crystal when he was between the ages of seven and nine. He reiterated this later in the conversation, saying he was "definitely in elementary school", when he dreamed about giving birth to a daughter (in the dream he had [[Chris and work|an office job]], which also [[Chris's resume|won't happen]]). "Give birth" slipped out, as in Chris would like to [[Pregnant Act|gestate a human female infant within his body]] (or perhaps [[Monty Python|in a box]]) and somehow deliver her into the world. While it's most likely that Chris just fucked up while talking due to [[stress]] and [[autism]], this could also be a Freudian slip suggesting that Chris has some [[Homos|gender]] [[Pregnant Act|identity]] [[tomgirl|issues]], which typically begin in childhood. It's also somewhat possible that he doesn't know that the mother is the only one who gives birth, seeing how he [[Chris and English|uses it in other contexts]].

After Kacey, [[Jackie]] was next in line as the vessel for which Chris' gift from God was to be bestowed. Crystal was featured in Lego form in the [[PlayingHouse]] video. Despite only being in preschool, she's advanced enough to keep a diary and look after her baby brother [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]].

=== The influence of the Idea Guys ===
[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|300px|Chris draws himself buttfucking his "son", [[Sonichu]], to guarantee Crystal's birth... [[Biology|Somehow.]]]]

In [[December 2017]], Chris was [[brainwashed]] by the [[Idea Guys]] over how Crystal would be born. Role-playing as [[Magi-Chan]] to Chris, an Idea Guy explained that the male [[Sonichu]] would become pregnant with Crystal after being impregnated by Chris through buttsex, and that by drawing it happening, Chris wouldn't have to do nasty anal himself.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A#Trolling Jessica Quinn, drawing of Chris fucking Sonichu]]</ref> Chris actually believed this, and produced the drawing to appease them, even though [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his comic book counterpart]] allegedly does not have a [[Duck|penis]] [[Transgender|post-transition]]. Suffice it to say, nothing ever came of this.

[[Chris lost Crystal]], an undated, leaked video from the Idea Guys saga (although it's mostly due to the influence of the [[Teen Troon Squad]]), shows Chris yelling at a toilet, demanding to know what happened to his "baby". No context has been provided for the video, aside from some associated text provided by the Squad confirming that Crystal was the baby that Chris was screaming about, and not Reginald. However, it's possible that the drawn incident with Chris rawdogging Sonichu may have resulted in Crystal existing ([[Chris and reality|at least in his mind]]) before [[Dark Mirror Hole|disappearing from this world]].

Crystal apparently wrote a [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler|future message]] delivered by her brother Reginald ([[Enablers|actually a troll playing along with Chris's delusions]]). The message itself describes Chris's goals of becoming a parent and warns people to make adjustments to their lives ahead of the coming [[Dimensional Merge]].

Like with much of the Idea Guys' lore, Chris maintained belief in the Crystal birth prophecy long after their ousting. In November 2019, he mentioned it on Twitter:

{{quotebox|It has been written that the father to me becoming the mother of the future Crystal Weston Chandler Sonichu, is none other than Sonichu (Prime), Himself; my Son. I am not dumb, stupid or blind to what is false from others; my abilities and mentality have improved greatly over the past months and years.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194506176505012225</ref>}}

===Name===
Her name is identical to that of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's sister]] from the comics, leading to some confusion.

It is unclear which spelling he was projecting for his future daughter (although he used "Crystal" in a [[Facebook]] message<ref>[[Facebook messages#Christy Backe]]</ref> and the infamous "Story of My Current Days"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>). In the comics he spells his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|stupid fake sister]]'s name "Crystal" consistently, although somebody called "Crystle" appears in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]].

In a [[February 2019 social media posts|2019 survey]] he referred to Crystal as '''Crystal Weston Chandler Rosechu'''.

== Could Chris actually have a child? ==

'''<big>Nope!</big>''' Not anymore.

Prior to becoming [[transgender]], Chris's chances of conceiving his God-given daughter were extremely slim, but not impossible – it was at least possible for him to impregnate a woman, however unlikely that would have been owing to obesity's effect on fertility and rather more pressingly actually finding [[The Suitress|a willing female]]. However, [[May 2015 Facebook posts|with HRT in session]] Chris is destroying what fertility he once possessed, rendering the odds of actually conceiving a child at 0%.

In November 2014, after being rejected by a sperm bank, he even went as far as asking a friend to be the vessel which will allow Crystal to enter our world<ref>[[Open_Relationship_E-mails#Need_my_daughter]]</ref>, but as addressed, he is no longer producing potent sperm. [[All Star|A later video]] showcased that he has difficulty getting an erection in spite of [[mass debating]] for three straight minutes, which just adds to his list of problems. In Chris's defense, however, he had just [[piss]]ed all over the floor, and such an event usually makes it a bit harder to get it up. That being said, some later [[Incest Texts|text-based details]] of ambiguous authenticity during [[Affair with Mother|Chris's "soul-bonding" with his mother]] in 2021 suggested that he used his penis to have sex with Barb. Although Barb was long since infertile at that point, Chris allegedly wore a condom anyway.

In September 2020, Chris explained that he still has interest in getting a sexual reassignment operation in the hopes of being able to give birth.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref> Unfortunately for Chris, those who undergo a male-to-female sexual reassignment surgery are incapable of carrying children. Although some scientists are looking into the possibility of transplanting uteruses into transgender women, Chris would likely be too old or too unhealthy to bear children in the event of such a breakthrough – and that's all presuming that he could save up enough to pay for that in the first place, which seems like wishful thinking, [[Chris and money|considering that money seems to be the only thing that Chris can't hoard]]. [[Jail Saga|Being in jail]] and without his only sources of income makes this even ''less'' likely than ever before - assuming that Chris could somehow get a gender reassignment surgery while behind bars, Virginia's rules about how trans inmates are incarcerated would require Chris to be transferred to a women's prison post-op, which would mean he could not impregnate anyone at that point.

In short, Chris will die childless: as long as he avoids [[Financhu Crisis#Future|sinking his finances]] to the point of foreclosure, the [[toys]] that Chris claimed to hoard for his future children will go to the State of Virginia if there is [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|no will]], and none of his [[Minor Family Members|other family members]] step in.<ref>[https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title64.2/chapter2/section64.2-200/ Code of Virginia § 64.2-200]</ref>

== Should Chris actually have a child? ==

If you are genuinely asking this question, then you really don't know anything about Chris. Parenting is an enormous task that takes huge amounts of effort and competence to pull off correctly; as with Chris himself even if you have two of the most loving parents imaginable an unhealthy mix of stupidity, coddling and manipulation can easily turn any child into a monster.

First and foremost Chris is extremely [[Chris and negligence|negligent]]; which is a trait picked up from his [[Borb|own parents]]. Name a thing in his life that he was tasked with taking care of and you will quickly find that he has left them to rot and rust away; even with things that he cares about he doesn't take particularly good care of and regularly leaves to break because he can't be bothered to actually take care of anything. Children need attention and care, especially during their younger years when they simply cannot take care of themselves; for example, can Chris successfully potty train a child when he cannot do the same with his dogs or even himself? Obviously not.

This is exacerbated by the fact that paradoxically, despite Chris's obsessive desire to be a parent, he has no actual interest in parenting. In the comics where he is both mother and father to Russel and Cynthia; he has [[Heather Iglesias]] take care of them in lieu of showing them any attention himself (with the two children showing obvious signs of parental abandonment), in [[PlayingHouse]] Chris also makes it rather obvious that he actually '''intends''' to neglect his children with Reginald being allowed to wallow in his own filth and vomit (while having not being taught to speak) while Crystal is expected to take care of herself despite being 4 years old.

Children also cost money and lots of it. Unfortunately for Chris, Virginia is among the top ten most expensive states to raise a child in (around 8th place at an annual $23,029) <ref>https://www.washingtonian.com/2021/09/16/maryland-and-virginia-are-among-the-top-10-most-expensive-states-to-raise-kids/#:~:text=Maryland%20and%20Virginia%20are%20among%20the%20top%20ten%20most%20expensive,%2423%2C029%20annual%20cost%20per%20child.</ref> which means that even if Chris was responsible with his money, didn't have an ungodly amount of debt to pay off and didn't have a mother taking a giant chunk out of his monthly payment; his begging videos and his [[monthly tugboat]] simply wouldn't be able to cover it (and that's assuming he has no other expenses).

And finally while in the past it would be considered speculation or something an [[A-log]] would say [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|(even regarding some worrying comments on Facebook)]], nowadays it's obvious that Chris is okay with questionably consensual [[incest]], especially parental incest between a [[Affair with Mother|mother and her child]]. Regarding his previous comments on Facebook regarding incest with one's own child, he was not only accepting over the act but actually encouraged it claiming said act was good experience for the child only adding the condition that the sexual relationship should not be "abusive or hurtful" completely disregarding that not only is sex with a child by definition abusive (and by extension hurtful) [[Pedofork|because children are]] [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|not able to consent to sex]].

In short, if by some miracle Chris was actually capable of conceiving children and somehow being allowed to keep them, they would grow up sick, hungry, penniless, neglected, abused, and/or [[Chris_and_death#Imaginary_friends|dead]].

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu76_wphCp8 CWC Sketch- Crystal]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]
*[[Chris lost Crystal]]
*[[Sonichu]], Christian's other imaginary son.
*[[Simonla Rosechu]], who hoped to someday have a son she would name "Reginald".
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé|Reginald Fils-Aimé]]
{{Love quest}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Fantasies}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Imaginary family

2023-01-27T17:25:29Z

Ellieisdone: /* Cherokee Clan leader */

{{Incomplete}}

Chris Chan has numerous family members that exist only in C-197, while Chris has put some real-life counterparts into his imaginary world, this article covers those who have been made up entirely by Chris. This page will not cover Sonichu or the Chaotic combo since they already have their own pages and while Sonichu does refer to Chris as "father" or "mama", this is more along the lines of Chris being his [[Messiah complex| benevolent creator]] rather than an actual family.

Like most, if not all of Chris's original characters; pretty much all of them exist purely to worship him or to give him extra powers in the comic.

==Cherokee Clan leader==
{{Main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[file:chrisansestore.jpg|thumb| Native American Representation]]

The leader of the [[Cherokian Clan]] is a fictional ancestor of Chris, originating from Chris’s belief that he is part Cherokee, which was disproven in 2018 after Chris took a 23andme dna test.

The character is a Caucasian [[Chris and race|Aryan]] man wearing a Roman chest plate Halloween costume, showing how little Chris knew about the people he supposedly descended from. The character looks identical to Chris, who is meant to be his reincarnation.

He first makes an appearance in episode 7 of sonichu #2, introducing himself as Chris’s ancestor, tells him to kill count graduon, and gives him his sonichu powers.

==Crystal Weston Chandler (twin)==

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Crystal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Crystal Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of creation'''
| 22 June [[Sonichu chronology#2005|2005]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human
|-
| '''Transforms into'''
| Crystalina Rosechu
|-
|}

[[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.]]

'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with<ref>Mentioned in his [[Song of Christian]] video: "hoping" for a "lil brother."</ref> along with some narcissistic pleasure and [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issues]] with seeing himself as an [[Homos#Chris and transsexuality|attractive female]]. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]].

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] correlating to Chris's [[Sonichu]] medallion and [[Reldnahc]]'s [[Black Sonichu]] medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which raises the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.

Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal (due to the two characters extremely similar appearance), a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck--and, as this article demonstrates, would've arisen anyway. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

The theme of incestuous narcissism is also prevalent in literature of the Romantic period, particularly that of Lord Byron, who apparently acted on Chris's fantasy. The theory is that the man in question is so much [[Chris and his ego|in love with himself]] that the only other person he could ever truly love is his double. Furthermore, with the Romantic emphasis on sympathy through [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|shared experience]], great nostalgia for [[Chris's room|childhood]], and desire to be "[[Love Quest|understood]]" (though complete disinterest in [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails|understanding]]) make a sibling an ideal sexual partner for the narcissist. Most of the Romantics saw the problem with this, and contented themselves with [[Sarah Hammer|childhood friends]], but then, Chris was never as smart as Wordsworth.

A possible early appearance is in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]] ([[1998]]) where Christian's kart passes something labelled "'''CRYSTLE'''" (the video quality is too low to see anything) and Chris shouts "Hi!" at it/her.
{{-}}

===In the comic===
[[File:Crys.PNG|thumb|left|Note the careful attention he paid to drawing his sister's boobs.]]
[[Image:Crystalina_Rosechu.jpg|thumb|Crystal's anthropomorphic form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier to wear sneakers.]]

Crystal was first introduced in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Sub-Episode 4]], where she appeared to aid Chris during a battle with the [[W-M-Manajerk]] in the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. Beaten and nearly subdued, Chris had a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He revealed to Chris that his [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle [[Bagget]] and the [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder in the [[Get-Tar Region]], as well as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] at the [[PVCC]].

Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] by Mary Lee Walsh and [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. In an attempt to save Chris and [[Sailor Megtune]] from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushed them both out of the way, becoming captive in the Mirror herself. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight - at one point, it was said that gathering the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] would allow Crystal to escape the mirror - but for the most part she was largely forgotten, especially while Christian himself was stuck in the practically identical [[Time Void]].

Since Chris had been keen on ejecting everyone he created from his [[sweetheart search]] misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler seemed quite grim. Then, partway through [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris suddenly turned into [[Collosal Chan]] and rescued her by simply [[Sonichu Special 4|walking in]], [[I AM STRONG|scooping her up]] in his arms and walking out of the mirror in the most [[Chris and writing|anti-climactic way]]. Chris originally planned that he would hand over mayoral power to his sister at the end of this issue, but for [[Chris and his Ego|some reason]] decided not to.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

Being Chris's twin, Crystal's powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called Crystalina Rosechu. When she and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] join together, they are able to form Chris-Chan Pure and execute a powerful ultimate attack known as [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]].

Her "personality" is identical to every single non-evil female character in the franchise: she does nothing except stereotypically girly activities (shopping,<s>getting high from </s> sampling perfumes, chatting about boys, etc) and [[Women's Rights|she defers to men in all things]]. Her fashion sense is similar to her twin brother; she wears the same clown shirts and has a Rosechu medallion. Crystal has an odd quirk where she constantly refers to Chris by his original name, "Christopher," instead of "Christian", the reasoning for which probably exists in Chris' head but has never been elucidated.

In a Twitter post, Chris, while [[Spirit possession|LARPing]] as Sonichu, presented Crystal's origin story. According to Chris, Crystal originated from another dimension where she took over [[CWCville|the helm]] after her dimension's Chris presumably dies. During a battle with her dimension's [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Crystal was sent through a portal into [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] after Chris used the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon her. Chris stated that Crystal decided to remain in C-197 after realizing that Chris was the TRUE and HONEST Chris.<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#What happened to Crystal and more Helena]]</ref>

As another display of Chris's failures in his Love Quest, she also appears to be one of the very few female characters in ''Sonichu'' who was never paired off with anyone.
{{clear}}

===Gallery===
<center><gallery>
Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Crystal joins the [[Moon-Pals]].
File:Collosalcrystalina.png|Crystal+Sonichu balls or something.
File:Crystal 001.jpg|Chris's most prominent thoughts on this matter.
Image:CrystalHawt.jpg|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

[[file:Patti-Chancard.jpg|thumb|Right|he couldn’t let her rest]]

==Patti-Chan==
{{Main|Patti-Chan}}

'''Patti Chandler''' (17 March [[1988]] - 27 [[June 2006]]) was [[Chris]]'s childhood dog, a {{w|Beagle}}-{{w|spitz}} mix who was put down in [[2006]], then brought back as a character in CWCville. Patti grew up with Chris and was the closest thing he had to a sibling, since his [[Cole Smithey| half brother]] wanted nothing to do with his family. In a phone call with [[Clyde Cash]], Chris compares the death of Clyde’s brother to the death of Patti, offending Clyde. Chris defended this by stating that Patti was like a sibling.

Chris brought Patti back to life in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' 6]] as [[Patti-Chan]] (a character created by [[Megan Schroeder]] to help Chris [[Chris and coping|cope]] with the loss of his beloved pet), where she somehow gained the ability to walk, talk, and apply for [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] in [[CWCville]].

==Sonichus and Rosechus==
{{see also|Robee Sonichu|Cera Rosechu}}

===Sonichu===

{{see also|Sonichu (character)}}

{{Quote|I will! Thank you, Father!| [[Sonichu 0]] cover art}}

[[File:Sonichu - Issue 0, Cover.jpg |thumb]]

Being Sonichu’s creator, Chris is established as a fatherly figure towards Sonichu and even has his creation call him “father” in the comics, despite there being no relation between the two nor an origin story for how they met.
In real life, whenever Chris is “possessed” by Sonichu, he refers to himself as “mama” and when redrawing his cover art for sonichu #0, he has sonichu call him mother to match with his current female pronouns.

Unfortunately this relationship would become much more disturbing later down the line.

===Russel and Cynthia===

{{quote|Back in human form, she extracted some of her essence. Then in (female) Sonichu form, she shot her essence up herself ... After that, when she tried to transform back to human, she could not. She was stuck in her Chris Chan Sonichu form. Then between Magi-Chan and the examinations at the hospital, she was knocked up for sure.|Chris, on the [[May_2015_Facebook_posts#Meet_Russel_and_Cynthia|beautiful act of conception.]]}} [[Image:Cynthia_and_Russel.jpg|thumb|The twins, ravenous for affection.]]

'''Russel Sonee''' and '''Cynthia Rosey''' are Chris's fictional Sonee and Rosey children. After Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Sonichu form]] became female to correspond with his [[Tomgirl Saga|newfound female identity]], he got the notion to use his own semen to impregnate himself, thus conceiving Russel and Cynthia. Miraculously, neither of the twins emerged as hideous mutants, and Chris proudly insists that they're completely [[autism]]-free.

This little experiment behind him, Chris shoved them off on [[Heather Iglesias]], claiming to visit them every now and again. They are first seen in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], attending the [[CWCville]] pride festival with their lesbian nanny. On catching sight of Chris, they immediately run up and cling to him, telling him they miss him. Chris gives them a dismissive "awww!" before coldly allowing Heather to take them away.

Chris described the conception again in 2020: ''"She did the thing from between her ol’ [[Duck|cock]] and moving the spunk into her [[Un-clit|vag]], and had to stay stuck in Sonichu form until Russel and Cynthia were born for a few weeks. After that, she went back to her human form, and she had to go through the similar quick process that Roberta went through, but the Estrogen was coming in quicker with C-Chan, since her alt-form was now female."''<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

==Reginald Chandler==
{{Quote|Alternatively, if I have a boy as well, I would name him Reginald; that was not a [[dream]]-thing though. I've had a [[PandaHalo|past internet gal-pal]], who would have likely become my girlfriend after she got here from her native land of Australia after finishing College there with a Teacher Degree. We role-played a family day with the children, and she chose the name of Reginald for the boy-child.|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}
[[File:FatherandSon.png|thumb|right|Chris and Baby Reginald Chandler (Reginald is the stupid little blue stud) from [[PlayingHouse]]]]

'''Reginald Chandler''' is [[Chris]]'s imaginary son and brother to his fictitious daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. He pees on the ceiling.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> He is briefly mentioned in chats with [[PandaHalo|Panda]].

His origins seemingly begin with [[PandaHalo]] and her discussions with Chris about the married life they will have in the future (as for Chris, [[Chris and reality|a single date will inevitably lead to a long and happy marriage]]).

Although Reginald has been mentioned several times in conversation, he is nothing in comparison to his younger sister in Chris's eyes. Reginald has no persona in the comics (except possibly as [[Reginald Sneasel]]) and has never appeared to Chris in a dream. Since the untimely death of PandaHalo, Reginald has not been mentioned outside of direct questioning and a recent video, although it is likely that Chris would still name his hypothetical first-born son Reginald all the same.

Reginald was featured in the [[PlayingHouse]] video, where Chris pretends [[Jackie]] is the mother of his children. This time he was depicted as the younger brother to Crystal. While Crystal can write in a diary despite being in preschool, Reginald was mitigated to speaking only in baby babble. The only interaction Chris has with him is complaining about cleaning up the mess he made in the bathroom, [[Butt garments|changing his diaper]], mentioning that he threw up several times during dinner (never stopping to wipe him off), and demanding he stay quiet for the night so he can [[Hanky panky|fuck]] his wife in peace. It's interesting to note that Chris mentions that Reginald sits in a booster seat, not a high chair. While it's likely Chris doesn't know the difference, it also implies Reginald is big enough to be a toddler. Being a toddler who can only speak in gibberish suggests he inherited [[Autism|a]] [[Speech impediment|lot]] from his father.

In [[April 2019]], [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]], purporting to depict a visit from a time-traveling Reginald.

==Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)==

{{Wise|by drawing himself buttfucking [[Sonichu]], then Sonichu will become pregnant with Crystal at some point.}}

{{quote|As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but [[Dreams|I HAVE A DREAM]]! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future.|Chris, presuming to know the wishes of GodBear<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:09-Crystal_Card.jpg|thumb|Crystal as a [[My Little Pony]] character]]

Around the age of [[2003|21]], [[Chris]] had multiple [[dreams]] in which [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] told him to find a [[sweetheart]] to build [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|from the ground-up]] to have his '''daughter Crystal''', named "after the [[Honor roll|illustrious metal]]",<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> according to him. In a custom ''[[My Little Pony]]'' trading card, Chris depicts Crystal as a pony who traveled back in time to help her father – Chris – find a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. This is [[Things Chris has ripped off|completely ripped off]] from Chibiusa's entire premise in ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.

===Crystal and the Love Quest===
[[Image:CrystalWestonChandler.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's impression. This is probably also Chris's impression. It is also the impression that no one ever wants to see become a reality.]]

Finding a woman who would birth Crystal has been a fairly consistent justification for Chris's [[Love Quest]]. At times he has seemed to be more [[Honest Content|honest]] in wanting a girlfriend so he can [[Chris and sex|get laid]] or prove he's straight. For example, when Julie expressed a desire to have a child, possibly with Chris, he was ambivalent, and seemed more interested in a threesome between Panda, Julie and himself.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3#2009-02-04]]</ref> Yet with new heartthrob Ivy, his fantasy of making a family was strong, and Chris was upset when Ivy said she didn't like the name Crystal, and demanded a say in their daughter's name.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Likewise, in a dialogue with potential sweetheart [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]], Chris revealed that he had a "[[Chris and religion|prophetic]]" dream about Crystal when he was between the ages of seven and nine. He reiterated this later in the conversation, saying he was "definitely in elementary school", when he dreamed about giving birth to a daughter (in the dream he had [[Chris and work|an office job]], which also [[Chris's resume|won't happen]]). "Give birth" slipped out, as in Chris would like to [[Pregnant Act|gestate a human female infant within his body]] (or perhaps [[Monty Python|in a box]]) and somehow deliver her into the world. While it's most likely that Chris just fucked up while talking due to [[stress]] and [[autism]], this could also be a Freudian slip suggesting that Chris has some [[Homos|gender]] [[Pregnant Act|identity]] [[tomgirl|issues]], which typically begin in childhood. It's also somewhat possible that he doesn't know that the mother is the only one who gives birth, seeing how he [[Chris and English|uses it in other contexts]].

After Kacey, [[Jackie]] was next in line as the vessel for which Chris' gift from God was to be bestowed. Crystal was featured in Lego form in the [[PlayingHouse]] video. Despite only being in preschool, she's advanced enough to keep a diary and look after her baby brother [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]].

=== The influence of the Idea Guys ===
[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|300px|Chris draws himself buttfucking his "son", [[Sonichu]], to guarantee Crystal's birth... [[Biology|Somehow.]]]]

In [[December 2017]], Chris was [[brainwashed]] by the [[Idea Guys]] over how Crystal would be born. Role-playing as [[Magi-Chan]] to Chris, an Idea Guy explained that the male [[Sonichu]] would become pregnant with Crystal after being impregnated by Chris through buttsex, and that by drawing it happening, Chris wouldn't have to do nasty anal himself.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A#Trolling Jessica Quinn, drawing of Chris fucking Sonichu]]</ref> Chris actually believed this, and produced the drawing to appease them, even though [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his comic book counterpart]] allegedly does not have a [[Duck|penis]] [[Transgender|post-transition]]. Suffice it to say, nothing ever came of this.

[[Chris lost Crystal]], an undated, leaked video from the Idea Guys saga (although it's mostly due to the influence of the [[Teen Troon Squad]]), shows Chris yelling at a toilet, demanding to know what happened to his "baby". No context has been provided for the video, aside from some associated text provided by the Squad confirming that Crystal was the baby that Chris was screaming about, and not Reginald. However, it's possible that the drawn incident with Chris rawdogging Sonichu may have resulted in Crystal existing ([[Chris and reality|at least in his mind]]) before [[Dark Mirror Hole|disappearing from this world]].

Crystal apparently wrote a [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler|future message]] delivered by her brother Reginald ([[Enablers|actually a troll playing along with Chris's delusions]]). The message itself describes Chris's goals of becoming a parent and warns people to make adjustments to their lives ahead of the coming [[Dimensional Merge]].

Like with much of the Idea Guys' lore, Chris maintained belief in the Crystal birth prophecy long after their ousting. In November 2019, he mentioned it on Twitter:

{{quotebox|It has been written that the father to me becoming the mother of the future Crystal Weston Chandler Sonichu, is none other than Sonichu (Prime), Himself; my Son. I am not dumb, stupid or blind to what is false from others; my abilities and mentality have improved greatly over the past months and years.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194506176505012225</ref>}}

===Name===
Her name is identical to that of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's sister]] from the comics, leading to some confusion.

It is unclear which spelling he was projecting for his future daughter (although he used "Crystal" in a [[Facebook]] message<ref>[[Facebook messages#Christy Backe]]</ref> and the infamous "Story of My Current Days"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>). In the comics he spells his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|stupid fake sister]]'s name "Crystal" consistently, although somebody called "Crystle" appears in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]].

In a [[February 2019 social media posts|2019 survey]] he referred to Crystal as '''Crystal Weston Chandler Rosechu'''.

== Could Chris actually have a child? ==

'''<big>Nope!</big>''' Not anymore.

Prior to becoming [[transgender]], Chris's chances of conceiving his God-given daughter were extremely slim, but not impossible – it was at least possible for him to impregnate a woman, however unlikely that would have been owing to obesity's effect on fertility and rather more pressingly actually finding [[The Suitress|a willing female]]. However, [[May 2015 Facebook posts|with HRT in session]] Chris is destroying what fertility he once possessed, rendering the odds of actually conceiving a child at 0%.

In November 2014, after being rejected by a sperm bank, he even went as far as asking a friend to be the vessel which will allow Crystal to enter our world<ref>[[Open_Relationship_E-mails#Need_my_daughter]]</ref>, but as addressed, he is no longer producing potent sperm. [[All Star|A later video]] showcased that he has difficulty getting an erection in spite of [[mass debating]] for three straight minutes, which just adds to his list of problems. In Chris's defense, however, he had just [[piss]]ed all over the floor, and such an event usually makes it a bit harder to get it up. That being said, some later [[Incest Texts|text-based details]] of ambiguous authenticity during [[Affair with Mother|Chris's "soul-bonding" with his mother]] in 2021 suggested that he used his penis to have sex with Barb. Although Barb was long since infertile at that point, Chris allegedly wore a condom anyway.

In September 2020, Chris explained that he still has interest in getting a sexual reassignment operation in the hopes of being able to give birth.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref> Unfortunately for Chris, those who undergo a male-to-female sexual reassignment surgery are incapable of carrying children. Although some scientists are looking into the possibility of transplanting uteruses into transgender women, Chris would likely be too old or too unhealthy to bear children in the event of such a breakthrough – and that's all presuming that he could save up enough to pay for that in the first place, which seems like wishful thinking, [[Chris and money|considering that money seems to be the only thing that Chris can't hoard]]. [[Jail Saga|Being in jail]] and without his only sources of income makes this even ''less'' likely than ever before - assuming that Chris could somehow get a gender reassignment surgery while behind bars, Virginia's rules about how trans inmates are incarcerated would require Chris to be transferred to a women's prison post-op, which would mean he could not impregnate anyone at that point.

In short, Chris will die childless: as long as he avoids [[Financhu Crisis#Future|sinking his finances]] to the point of foreclosure, the [[toys]] that Chris claimed to hoard for his future children will go to the State of Virginia if there is [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|no will]], and none of his [[Minor Family Members|other family members]] step in.<ref>[https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title64.2/chapter2/section64.2-200/ Code of Virginia § 64.2-200]</ref>

== Should Chris actually have a child? ==

If you are genuinely asking this question, then you really don't know anything about Chris. Parenting is an enormous task that takes huge amounts of effort and competence to pull off correctly; as with Chris himself even if you have two of the most loving parents imaginable an unhealthy mix of stupidity, coddling and manipulation can easily turn any child into a monster.

First and foremost Chris is extremely [[Chris and negligence|negligent]]; which is a trait picked up from his [[Borb|own parents]]. Name a thing in his life that he was tasked with taking care of and you will quickly find that he has left them to rot and rust away; even with things that he cares about he doesn't take particularly good care of and regularly leaves to break because he can't be bothered to actually take care of anything. Children need attention and care, especially during their younger years when they simply cannot take care of themselves; for example, can Chris successfully potty train a child when he cannot do the same with his dogs or even himself? Obviously not.

This is exacerbated by the fact that paradoxically, despite Chris's obsessive desire to be a parent, he has no actual interest in parenting. In the comics where he is both mother and father to Russel and Cynthia; he has [[Heather Iglesias]] take care of them in lieu of showing them any attention himself (with the two children showing obvious signs of parental abandonment), in [[PlayingHouse]] Chris also makes it rather obvious that he actually '''intends''' to neglect his children with Reginald being allowed to wallow in his own filth and vomit (while having not being taught to speak) while Crystal is expected to take care of herself despite being 4 years old.

Children also cost money and lots of it. Unfortunately for Chris, Virginia is among the top ten most expensive states to raise a child in (around 8th place at an annual $23,029) <ref>https://www.washingtonian.com/2021/09/16/maryland-and-virginia-are-among-the-top-10-most-expensive-states-to-raise-kids/#:~:text=Maryland%20and%20Virginia%20are%20among%20the%20top%20ten%20most%20expensive,%2423%2C029%20annual%20cost%20per%20child.</ref> which means that even if Chris was responsible with his money, didn't have an ungodly amount of debt to pay off and didn't have a mother taking a giant chunk out of his monthly payment; his begging videos and his [[monthly tugboat]] simply wouldn't be able to cover it (and that's assuming he has no other expenses).

And finally while in the past it would be considered speculation or something an [[A-log]] would say [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|(even regarding some worrying comments on Facebook)]], nowadays it's obvious that Chris is okay with questionably consensual [[incest]], especially parental incest between a [[Affair with Mother|mother and her child]]. Regarding his previous comments on Facebook regarding incest with one's own child, he was not only accepting over the act but actually encouraged it claiming said act was good experience for the child only adding the condition that the sexual relationship should not be "abusive or hurtful" completely disregarding that not only is sex with a child by definition abusive (and by extension hurtful) [[Pedofork|because children are]] [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|not able to consent to sex]].

In short, if by some miracle Chris was actually capable of conceiving children and somehow being allowed to keep them, they would grow up sick, hungry, penniless, neglected, abused, and/or [[Chris_and_death#Imaginary_friends|dead]].

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu76_wphCp8 CWC Sketch- Crystal]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]
*[[Chris lost Crystal]]
*[[Sonichu]], Christian's other imaginary son.
*[[Simonla Rosechu]], who hoped to someday have a son she would name "Reginald".
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé|Reginald Fils-Aimé]]
{{Love quest}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Fantasies}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Imaginary family

2023-01-27T17:24:12Z

Ellieisdone: /* Cherokee Clan leader */

{{Incomplete}}

Chris Chan has numerous family members that exist only in C-197, while Chris has put some real-life counterparts into his imaginary world, this article covers those who have been made up entirely by Chris. This page will not cover Sonichu or the Chaotic combo since they already have their own pages and while Sonichu does refer to Chris as "father" or "mama", this is more along the lines of Chris being his [[Messiah complex| benevolent creator]] rather than an actual family.

Like most, if not all of Chris's original characters; pretty much all of them exist purely to worship him or to give him extra powers in the comic.

==Cherokee Clan leader==
{{Main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

The leader of the [[Cherokian Clan]] is a fictional ancestor of Chris, originating from Chris’s belief that he is part Cherokee, which was disproven in 2018 after Chris took a 23andme dna test.

The character is a Caucasian [[Chris and race|Aryan]] man wearing a Roman chest plate Halloween costume, showing how little Chris knew about the people he supposedly descended from. The character looks identical to Chris, who is meant to be his reincarnation.

He first makes an appearance in episode 7 of sonichu #2, introducing himself as Chris’s ancestor, tells him to kill count graduon, and gives him his sonichu powers.

[[file:chrisansestore.jpg|thumb| Native American Representation]]

==Crystal Weston Chandler (twin)==

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Crystal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Crystal Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of creation'''
| 22 June [[Sonichu chronology#2005|2005]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human
|-
| '''Transforms into'''
| Crystalina Rosechu
|-
|}

[[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.]]

'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with<ref>Mentioned in his [[Song of Christian]] video: "hoping" for a "lil brother."</ref> along with some narcissistic pleasure and [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issues]] with seeing himself as an [[Homos#Chris and transsexuality|attractive female]]. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]].

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] correlating to Chris's [[Sonichu]] medallion and [[Reldnahc]]'s [[Black Sonichu]] medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which raises the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.

Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal (due to the two characters extremely similar appearance), a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck--and, as this article demonstrates, would've arisen anyway. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

The theme of incestuous narcissism is also prevalent in literature of the Romantic period, particularly that of Lord Byron, who apparently acted on Chris's fantasy. The theory is that the man in question is so much [[Chris and his ego|in love with himself]] that the only other person he could ever truly love is his double. Furthermore, with the Romantic emphasis on sympathy through [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|shared experience]], great nostalgia for [[Chris's room|childhood]], and desire to be "[[Love Quest|understood]]" (though complete disinterest in [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails|understanding]]) make a sibling an ideal sexual partner for the narcissist. Most of the Romantics saw the problem with this, and contented themselves with [[Sarah Hammer|childhood friends]], but then, Chris was never as smart as Wordsworth.

A possible early appearance is in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]] ([[1998]]) where Christian's kart passes something labelled "'''CRYSTLE'''" (the video quality is too low to see anything) and Chris shouts "Hi!" at it/her.
{{-}}

===In the comic===
[[File:Crys.PNG|thumb|left|Note the careful attention he paid to drawing his sister's boobs.]]
[[Image:Crystalina_Rosechu.jpg|thumb|Crystal's anthropomorphic form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier to wear sneakers.]]

Crystal was first introduced in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Sub-Episode 4]], where she appeared to aid Chris during a battle with the [[W-M-Manajerk]] in the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. Beaten and nearly subdued, Chris had a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He revealed to Chris that his [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle [[Bagget]] and the [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder in the [[Get-Tar Region]], as well as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] at the [[PVCC]].

Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] by Mary Lee Walsh and [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. In an attempt to save Chris and [[Sailor Megtune]] from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushed them both out of the way, becoming captive in the Mirror herself. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight - at one point, it was said that gathering the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] would allow Crystal to escape the mirror - but for the most part she was largely forgotten, especially while Christian himself was stuck in the practically identical [[Time Void]].

Since Chris had been keen on ejecting everyone he created from his [[sweetheart search]] misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler seemed quite grim. Then, partway through [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris suddenly turned into [[Collosal Chan]] and rescued her by simply [[Sonichu Special 4|walking in]], [[I AM STRONG|scooping her up]] in his arms and walking out of the mirror in the most [[Chris and writing|anti-climactic way]]. Chris originally planned that he would hand over mayoral power to his sister at the end of this issue, but for [[Chris and his Ego|some reason]] decided not to.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

Being Chris's twin, Crystal's powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called Crystalina Rosechu. When she and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] join together, they are able to form Chris-Chan Pure and execute a powerful ultimate attack known as [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]].

Her "personality" is identical to every single non-evil female character in the franchise: she does nothing except stereotypically girly activities (shopping,<s>getting high from </s> sampling perfumes, chatting about boys, etc) and [[Women's Rights|she defers to men in all things]]. Her fashion sense is similar to her twin brother; she wears the same clown shirts and has a Rosechu medallion. Crystal has an odd quirk where she constantly refers to Chris by his original name, "Christopher," instead of "Christian", the reasoning for which probably exists in Chris' head but has never been elucidated.

In a Twitter post, Chris, while [[Spirit possession|LARPing]] as Sonichu, presented Crystal's origin story. According to Chris, Crystal originated from another dimension where she took over [[CWCville|the helm]] after her dimension's Chris presumably dies. During a battle with her dimension's [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Crystal was sent through a portal into [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] after Chris used the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon her. Chris stated that Crystal decided to remain in C-197 after realizing that Chris was the TRUE and HONEST Chris.<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#What happened to Crystal and more Helena]]</ref>

As another display of Chris's failures in his Love Quest, she also appears to be one of the very few female characters in ''Sonichu'' who was never paired off with anyone.
{{clear}}

===Gallery===
<center><gallery>
Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Crystal joins the [[Moon-Pals]].
File:Collosalcrystalina.png|Crystal+Sonichu balls or something.
File:Crystal 001.jpg|Chris's most prominent thoughts on this matter.
Image:CrystalHawt.jpg|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

[[file:Patti-Chancard.jpg|thumb|Right|he couldn’t let her rest]]

==Patti-Chan==
{{Main|Patti-Chan}}

'''Patti Chandler''' (17 March [[1988]] - 27 [[June 2006]]) was [[Chris]]'s childhood dog, a {{w|Beagle}}-{{w|spitz}} mix who was put down in [[2006]], then brought back as a character in CWCville. Patti grew up with Chris and was the closest thing he had to a sibling, since his [[Cole Smithey| half brother]] wanted nothing to do with his family. In a phone call with [[Clyde Cash]], Chris compares the death of Clyde’s brother to the death of Patti, offending Clyde. Chris defended this by stating that Patti was like a sibling.

Chris brought Patti back to life in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' 6]] as [[Patti-Chan]] (a character created by [[Megan Schroeder]] to help Chris [[Chris and coping|cope]] with the loss of his beloved pet), where she somehow gained the ability to walk, talk, and apply for [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] in [[CWCville]].

==Sonichus and Rosechus==
{{see also|Robee Sonichu|Cera Rosechu}}

===Sonichu===

{{see also|Sonichu (character)}}

{{Quote|I will! Thank you, Father!| [[Sonichu 0]] cover art}}

[[File:Sonichu - Issue 0, Cover.jpg |thumb]]

Being Sonichu’s creator, Chris is established as a fatherly figure towards Sonichu and even has his creation call him “father” in the comics, despite there being no relation between the two nor an origin story for how they met.
In real life, whenever Chris is “possessed” by Sonichu, he refers to himself as “mama” and when redrawing his cover art for sonichu #0, he has sonichu call him mother to match with his current female pronouns.

Unfortunately this relationship would become much more disturbing later down the line.

===Russel and Cynthia===

{{quote|Back in human form, she extracted some of her essence. Then in (female) Sonichu form, she shot her essence up herself ... After that, when she tried to transform back to human, she could not. She was stuck in her Chris Chan Sonichu form. Then between Magi-Chan and the examinations at the hospital, she was knocked up for sure.|Chris, on the [[May_2015_Facebook_posts#Meet_Russel_and_Cynthia|beautiful act of conception.]]}} [[Image:Cynthia_and_Russel.jpg|thumb|The twins, ravenous for affection.]]

'''Russel Sonee''' and '''Cynthia Rosey''' are Chris's fictional Sonee and Rosey children. After Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Sonichu form]] became female to correspond with his [[Tomgirl Saga|newfound female identity]], he got the notion to use his own semen to impregnate himself, thus conceiving Russel and Cynthia. Miraculously, neither of the twins emerged as hideous mutants, and Chris proudly insists that they're completely [[autism]]-free.

This little experiment behind him, Chris shoved them off on [[Heather Iglesias]], claiming to visit them every now and again. They are first seen in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], attending the [[CWCville]] pride festival with their lesbian nanny. On catching sight of Chris, they immediately run up and cling to him, telling him they miss him. Chris gives them a dismissive "awww!" before coldly allowing Heather to take them away.

Chris described the conception again in 2020: ''"She did the thing from between her ol’ [[Duck|cock]] and moving the spunk into her [[Un-clit|vag]], and had to stay stuck in Sonichu form until Russel and Cynthia were born for a few weeks. After that, she went back to her human form, and she had to go through the similar quick process that Roberta went through, but the Estrogen was coming in quicker with C-Chan, since her alt-form was now female."''<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

==Reginald Chandler==
{{Quote|Alternatively, if I have a boy as well, I would name him Reginald; that was not a [[dream]]-thing though. I've had a [[PandaHalo|past internet gal-pal]], who would have likely become my girlfriend after she got here from her native land of Australia after finishing College there with a Teacher Degree. We role-played a family day with the children, and she chose the name of Reginald for the boy-child.|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}
[[File:FatherandSon.png|thumb|right|Chris and Baby Reginald Chandler (Reginald is the stupid little blue stud) from [[PlayingHouse]]]]

'''Reginald Chandler''' is [[Chris]]'s imaginary son and brother to his fictitious daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. He pees on the ceiling.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> He is briefly mentioned in chats with [[PandaHalo|Panda]].

His origins seemingly begin with [[PandaHalo]] and her discussions with Chris about the married life they will have in the future (as for Chris, [[Chris and reality|a single date will inevitably lead to a long and happy marriage]]).

Although Reginald has been mentioned several times in conversation, he is nothing in comparison to his younger sister in Chris's eyes. Reginald has no persona in the comics (except possibly as [[Reginald Sneasel]]) and has never appeared to Chris in a dream. Since the untimely death of PandaHalo, Reginald has not been mentioned outside of direct questioning and a recent video, although it is likely that Chris would still name his hypothetical first-born son Reginald all the same.

Reginald was featured in the [[PlayingHouse]] video, where Chris pretends [[Jackie]] is the mother of his children. This time he was depicted as the younger brother to Crystal. While Crystal can write in a diary despite being in preschool, Reginald was mitigated to speaking only in baby babble. The only interaction Chris has with him is complaining about cleaning up the mess he made in the bathroom, [[Butt garments|changing his diaper]], mentioning that he threw up several times during dinner (never stopping to wipe him off), and demanding he stay quiet for the night so he can [[Hanky panky|fuck]] his wife in peace. It's interesting to note that Chris mentions that Reginald sits in a booster seat, not a high chair. While it's likely Chris doesn't know the difference, it also implies Reginald is big enough to be a toddler. Being a toddler who can only speak in gibberish suggests he inherited [[Autism|a]] [[Speech impediment|lot]] from his father.

In [[April 2019]], [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]], purporting to depict a visit from a time-traveling Reginald.

==Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)==

{{Wise|by drawing himself buttfucking [[Sonichu]], then Sonichu will become pregnant with Crystal at some point.}}

{{quote|As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but [[Dreams|I HAVE A DREAM]]! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future.|Chris, presuming to know the wishes of GodBear<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:09-Crystal_Card.jpg|thumb|Crystal as a [[My Little Pony]] character]]

Around the age of [[2003|21]], [[Chris]] had multiple [[dreams]] in which [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] told him to find a [[sweetheart]] to build [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|from the ground-up]] to have his '''daughter Crystal''', named "after the [[Honor roll|illustrious metal]]",<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> according to him. In a custom ''[[My Little Pony]]'' trading card, Chris depicts Crystal as a pony who traveled back in time to help her father – Chris – find a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. This is [[Things Chris has ripped off|completely ripped off]] from Chibiusa's entire premise in ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.

===Crystal and the Love Quest===
[[Image:CrystalWestonChandler.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's impression. This is probably also Chris's impression. It is also the impression that no one ever wants to see become a reality.]]

Finding a woman who would birth Crystal has been a fairly consistent justification for Chris's [[Love Quest]]. At times he has seemed to be more [[Honest Content|honest]] in wanting a girlfriend so he can [[Chris and sex|get laid]] or prove he's straight. For example, when Julie expressed a desire to have a child, possibly with Chris, he was ambivalent, and seemed more interested in a threesome between Panda, Julie and himself.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3#2009-02-04]]</ref> Yet with new heartthrob Ivy, his fantasy of making a family was strong, and Chris was upset when Ivy said she didn't like the name Crystal, and demanded a say in their daughter's name.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Likewise, in a dialogue with potential sweetheart [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]], Chris revealed that he had a "[[Chris and religion|prophetic]]" dream about Crystal when he was between the ages of seven and nine. He reiterated this later in the conversation, saying he was "definitely in elementary school", when he dreamed about giving birth to a daughter (in the dream he had [[Chris and work|an office job]], which also [[Chris's resume|won't happen]]). "Give birth" slipped out, as in Chris would like to [[Pregnant Act|gestate a human female infant within his body]] (or perhaps [[Monty Python|in a box]]) and somehow deliver her into the world. While it's most likely that Chris just fucked up while talking due to [[stress]] and [[autism]], this could also be a Freudian slip suggesting that Chris has some [[Homos|gender]] [[Pregnant Act|identity]] [[tomgirl|issues]], which typically begin in childhood. It's also somewhat possible that he doesn't know that the mother is the only one who gives birth, seeing how he [[Chris and English|uses it in other contexts]].

After Kacey, [[Jackie]] was next in line as the vessel for which Chris' gift from God was to be bestowed. Crystal was featured in Lego form in the [[PlayingHouse]] video. Despite only being in preschool, she's advanced enough to keep a diary and look after her baby brother [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]].

=== The influence of the Idea Guys ===
[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|300px|Chris draws himself buttfucking his "son", [[Sonichu]], to guarantee Crystal's birth... [[Biology|Somehow.]]]]

In [[December 2017]], Chris was [[brainwashed]] by the [[Idea Guys]] over how Crystal would be born. Role-playing as [[Magi-Chan]] to Chris, an Idea Guy explained that the male [[Sonichu]] would become pregnant with Crystal after being impregnated by Chris through buttsex, and that by drawing it happening, Chris wouldn't have to do nasty anal himself.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A#Trolling Jessica Quinn, drawing of Chris fucking Sonichu]]</ref> Chris actually believed this, and produced the drawing to appease them, even though [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his comic book counterpart]] allegedly does not have a [[Duck|penis]] [[Transgender|post-transition]]. Suffice it to say, nothing ever came of this.

[[Chris lost Crystal]], an undated, leaked video from the Idea Guys saga (although it's mostly due to the influence of the [[Teen Troon Squad]]), shows Chris yelling at a toilet, demanding to know what happened to his "baby". No context has been provided for the video, aside from some associated text provided by the Squad confirming that Crystal was the baby that Chris was screaming about, and not Reginald. However, it's possible that the drawn incident with Chris rawdogging Sonichu may have resulted in Crystal existing ([[Chris and reality|at least in his mind]]) before [[Dark Mirror Hole|disappearing from this world]].

Crystal apparently wrote a [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler|future message]] delivered by her brother Reginald ([[Enablers|actually a troll playing along with Chris's delusions]]). The message itself describes Chris's goals of becoming a parent and warns people to make adjustments to their lives ahead of the coming [[Dimensional Merge]].

Like with much of the Idea Guys' lore, Chris maintained belief in the Crystal birth prophecy long after their ousting. In November 2019, he mentioned it on Twitter:

{{quotebox|It has been written that the father to me becoming the mother of the future Crystal Weston Chandler Sonichu, is none other than Sonichu (Prime), Himself; my Son. I am not dumb, stupid or blind to what is false from others; my abilities and mentality have improved greatly over the past months and years.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194506176505012225</ref>}}

===Name===
Her name is identical to that of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's sister]] from the comics, leading to some confusion.

It is unclear which spelling he was projecting for his future daughter (although he used "Crystal" in a [[Facebook]] message<ref>[[Facebook messages#Christy Backe]]</ref> and the infamous "Story of My Current Days"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>). In the comics he spells his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|stupid fake sister]]'s name "Crystal" consistently, although somebody called "Crystle" appears in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]].

In a [[February 2019 social media posts|2019 survey]] he referred to Crystal as '''Crystal Weston Chandler Rosechu'''.

== Could Chris actually have a child? ==

'''<big>Nope!</big>''' Not anymore.

Prior to becoming [[transgender]], Chris's chances of conceiving his God-given daughter were extremely slim, but not impossible – it was at least possible for him to impregnate a woman, however unlikely that would have been owing to obesity's effect on fertility and rather more pressingly actually finding [[The Suitress|a willing female]]. However, [[May 2015 Facebook posts|with HRT in session]] Chris is destroying what fertility he once possessed, rendering the odds of actually conceiving a child at 0%.

In November 2014, after being rejected by a sperm bank, he even went as far as asking a friend to be the vessel which will allow Crystal to enter our world<ref>[[Open_Relationship_E-mails#Need_my_daughter]]</ref>, but as addressed, he is no longer producing potent sperm. [[All Star|A later video]] showcased that he has difficulty getting an erection in spite of [[mass debating]] for three straight minutes, which just adds to his list of problems. In Chris's defense, however, he had just [[piss]]ed all over the floor, and such an event usually makes it a bit harder to get it up. That being said, some later [[Incest Texts|text-based details]] of ambiguous authenticity during [[Affair with Mother|Chris's "soul-bonding" with his mother]] in 2021 suggested that he used his penis to have sex with Barb. Although Barb was long since infertile at that point, Chris allegedly wore a condom anyway.

In September 2020, Chris explained that he still has interest in getting a sexual reassignment operation in the hopes of being able to give birth.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref> Unfortunately for Chris, those who undergo a male-to-female sexual reassignment surgery are incapable of carrying children. Although some scientists are looking into the possibility of transplanting uteruses into transgender women, Chris would likely be too old or too unhealthy to bear children in the event of such a breakthrough – and that's all presuming that he could save up enough to pay for that in the first place, which seems like wishful thinking, [[Chris and money|considering that money seems to be the only thing that Chris can't hoard]]. [[Jail Saga|Being in jail]] and without his only sources of income makes this even ''less'' likely than ever before - assuming that Chris could somehow get a gender reassignment surgery while behind bars, Virginia's rules about how trans inmates are incarcerated would require Chris to be transferred to a women's prison post-op, which would mean he could not impregnate anyone at that point.

In short, Chris will die childless: as long as he avoids [[Financhu Crisis#Future|sinking his finances]] to the point of foreclosure, the [[toys]] that Chris claimed to hoard for his future children will go to the State of Virginia if there is [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|no will]], and none of his [[Minor Family Members|other family members]] step in.<ref>[https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title64.2/chapter2/section64.2-200/ Code of Virginia § 64.2-200]</ref>

== Should Chris actually have a child? ==

If you are genuinely asking this question, then you really don't know anything about Chris. Parenting is an enormous task that takes huge amounts of effort and competence to pull off correctly; as with Chris himself even if you have two of the most loving parents imaginable an unhealthy mix of stupidity, coddling and manipulation can easily turn any child into a monster.

First and foremost Chris is extremely [[Chris and negligence|negligent]]; which is a trait picked up from his [[Borb|own parents]]. Name a thing in his life that he was tasked with taking care of and you will quickly find that he has left them to rot and rust away; even with things that he cares about he doesn't take particularly good care of and regularly leaves to break because he can't be bothered to actually take care of anything. Children need attention and care, especially during their younger years when they simply cannot take care of themselves; for example, can Chris successfully potty train a child when he cannot do the same with his dogs or even himself? Obviously not.

This is exacerbated by the fact that paradoxically, despite Chris's obsessive desire to be a parent, he has no actual interest in parenting. In the comics where he is both mother and father to Russel and Cynthia; he has [[Heather Iglesias]] take care of them in lieu of showing them any attention himself (with the two children showing obvious signs of parental abandonment), in [[PlayingHouse]] Chris also makes it rather obvious that he actually '''intends''' to neglect his children with Reginald being allowed to wallow in his own filth and vomit (while having not being taught to speak) while Crystal is expected to take care of herself despite being 4 years old.

Children also cost money and lots of it. Unfortunately for Chris, Virginia is among the top ten most expensive states to raise a child in (around 8th place at an annual $23,029) <ref>https://www.washingtonian.com/2021/09/16/maryland-and-virginia-are-among-the-top-10-most-expensive-states-to-raise-kids/#:~:text=Maryland%20and%20Virginia%20are%20among%20the%20top%20ten%20most%20expensive,%2423%2C029%20annual%20cost%20per%20child.</ref> which means that even if Chris was responsible with his money, didn't have an ungodly amount of debt to pay off and didn't have a mother taking a giant chunk out of his monthly payment; his begging videos and his [[monthly tugboat]] simply wouldn't be able to cover it (and that's assuming he has no other expenses).

And finally while in the past it would be considered speculation or something an [[A-log]] would say [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|(even regarding some worrying comments on Facebook)]], nowadays it's obvious that Chris is okay with questionably consensual [[incest]], especially parental incest between a [[Affair with Mother|mother and her child]]. Regarding his previous comments on Facebook regarding incest with one's own child, he was not only accepting over the act but actually encouraged it claiming said act was good experience for the child only adding the condition that the sexual relationship should not be "abusive or hurtful" completely disregarding that not only is sex with a child by definition abusive (and by extension hurtful) [[Pedofork|because children are]] [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|not able to consent to sex]].

In short, if by some miracle Chris was actually capable of conceiving children and somehow being allowed to keep them, they would grow up sick, hungry, penniless, neglected, abused, and/or [[Chris_and_death#Imaginary_friends|dead]].

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu76_wphCp8 CWC Sketch- Crystal]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]
*[[Chris lost Crystal]]
*[[Sonichu]], Christian's other imaginary son.
*[[Simonla Rosechu]], who hoped to someday have a son she would name "Reginald".
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé|Reginald Fils-Aimé]]
{{Love quest}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Fantasies}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Imaginary family

2023-01-27T17:23:53Z

Ellieisdone: /* Cherokee Clan leader */

{{Incomplete}}

Chris Chan has numerous family members that exist only in C-197, while Chris has put some real-life counterparts into his imaginary world, this article covers those who have been made up entirely by Chris. This page will not cover Sonichu or the Chaotic combo since they already have their own pages and while Sonichu does refer to Chris as "father" or "mama", this is more along the lines of Chris being his [[Messiah complex| benevolent creator]] rather than an actual family.

Like most, if not all of Chris's original characters; pretty much all of them exist purely to worship him or to give him extra powers in the comic.

==Cherokee Clan leader==
{{Main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

The leader of the [[Cherokian Clan]] is a fictional ancestor of Chris, originating from Chris’s belief that he is part Cherokee, which was disproven in 2018 after Chris took a 23andme dna test.

The character is a Caucasian [[Chris and race|Aryan]] man wearing a Roman chest plate Halloween costume, showing how little Chris knew about the people he supposedly descended from. The character looks identical to Chris, who is meant to be his reincarnation.

He first makes an appearance in episode 7 of sonichu #2, introducing himself as Chris’s ancestor, tells him to kill count graduon, and gives him his sonichu powers.

[[file:chrisansestore.jpg|thumb|left| Native American Representation]]

==Crystal Weston Chandler (twin)==

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Crystal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Crystal Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of creation'''
| 22 June [[Sonichu chronology#2005|2005]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human
|-
| '''Transforms into'''
| Crystalina Rosechu
|-
|}

[[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.]]

'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with<ref>Mentioned in his [[Song of Christian]] video: "hoping" for a "lil brother."</ref> along with some narcissistic pleasure and [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issues]] with seeing himself as an [[Homos#Chris and transsexuality|attractive female]]. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]].

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] correlating to Chris's [[Sonichu]] medallion and [[Reldnahc]]'s [[Black Sonichu]] medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which raises the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.

Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal (due to the two characters extremely similar appearance), a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck--and, as this article demonstrates, would've arisen anyway. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

The theme of incestuous narcissism is also prevalent in literature of the Romantic period, particularly that of Lord Byron, who apparently acted on Chris's fantasy. The theory is that the man in question is so much [[Chris and his ego|in love with himself]] that the only other person he could ever truly love is his double. Furthermore, with the Romantic emphasis on sympathy through [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|shared experience]], great nostalgia for [[Chris's room|childhood]], and desire to be "[[Love Quest|understood]]" (though complete disinterest in [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails|understanding]]) make a sibling an ideal sexual partner for the narcissist. Most of the Romantics saw the problem with this, and contented themselves with [[Sarah Hammer|childhood friends]], but then, Chris was never as smart as Wordsworth.

A possible early appearance is in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]] ([[1998]]) where Christian's kart passes something labelled "'''CRYSTLE'''" (the video quality is too low to see anything) and Chris shouts "Hi!" at it/her.
{{-}}

===In the comic===
[[File:Crys.PNG|thumb|left|Note the careful attention he paid to drawing his sister's boobs.]]
[[Image:Crystalina_Rosechu.jpg|thumb|Crystal's anthropomorphic form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier to wear sneakers.]]

Crystal was first introduced in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Sub-Episode 4]], where she appeared to aid Chris during a battle with the [[W-M-Manajerk]] in the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. Beaten and nearly subdued, Chris had a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He revealed to Chris that his [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle [[Bagget]] and the [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder in the [[Get-Tar Region]], as well as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] at the [[PVCC]].

Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] by Mary Lee Walsh and [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. In an attempt to save Chris and [[Sailor Megtune]] from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushed them both out of the way, becoming captive in the Mirror herself. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight - at one point, it was said that gathering the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] would allow Crystal to escape the mirror - but for the most part she was largely forgotten, especially while Christian himself was stuck in the practically identical [[Time Void]].

Since Chris had been keen on ejecting everyone he created from his [[sweetheart search]] misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler seemed quite grim. Then, partway through [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris suddenly turned into [[Collosal Chan]] and rescued her by simply [[Sonichu Special 4|walking in]], [[I AM STRONG|scooping her up]] in his arms and walking out of the mirror in the most [[Chris and writing|anti-climactic way]]. Chris originally planned that he would hand over mayoral power to his sister at the end of this issue, but for [[Chris and his Ego|some reason]] decided not to.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

Being Chris's twin, Crystal's powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called Crystalina Rosechu. When she and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] join together, they are able to form Chris-Chan Pure and execute a powerful ultimate attack known as [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]].

Her "personality" is identical to every single non-evil female character in the franchise: she does nothing except stereotypically girly activities (shopping,<s>getting high from </s> sampling perfumes, chatting about boys, etc) and [[Women's Rights|she defers to men in all things]]. Her fashion sense is similar to her twin brother; she wears the same clown shirts and has a Rosechu medallion. Crystal has an odd quirk where she constantly refers to Chris by his original name, "Christopher," instead of "Christian", the reasoning for which probably exists in Chris' head but has never been elucidated.

In a Twitter post, Chris, while [[Spirit possession|LARPing]] as Sonichu, presented Crystal's origin story. According to Chris, Crystal originated from another dimension where she took over [[CWCville|the helm]] after her dimension's Chris presumably dies. During a battle with her dimension's [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Crystal was sent through a portal into [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] after Chris used the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon her. Chris stated that Crystal decided to remain in C-197 after realizing that Chris was the TRUE and HONEST Chris.<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#What happened to Crystal and more Helena]]</ref>

As another display of Chris's failures in his Love Quest, she also appears to be one of the very few female characters in ''Sonichu'' who was never paired off with anyone.
{{clear}}

===Gallery===
<center><gallery>
Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Crystal joins the [[Moon-Pals]].
File:Collosalcrystalina.png|Crystal+Sonichu balls or something.
File:Crystal 001.jpg|Chris's most prominent thoughts on this matter.
Image:CrystalHawt.jpg|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

[[file:Patti-Chancard.jpg|thumb|Right|he couldn’t let her rest]]

==Patti-Chan==
{{Main|Patti-Chan}}

'''Patti Chandler''' (17 March [[1988]] - 27 [[June 2006]]) was [[Chris]]'s childhood dog, a {{w|Beagle}}-{{w|spitz}} mix who was put down in [[2006]], then brought back as a character in CWCville. Patti grew up with Chris and was the closest thing he had to a sibling, since his [[Cole Smithey| half brother]] wanted nothing to do with his family. In a phone call with [[Clyde Cash]], Chris compares the death of Clyde’s brother to the death of Patti, offending Clyde. Chris defended this by stating that Patti was like a sibling.

Chris brought Patti back to life in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' 6]] as [[Patti-Chan]] (a character created by [[Megan Schroeder]] to help Chris [[Chris and coping|cope]] with the loss of his beloved pet), where she somehow gained the ability to walk, talk, and apply for [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] in [[CWCville]].

==Sonichus and Rosechus==
{{see also|Robee Sonichu|Cera Rosechu}}

===Sonichu===

{{see also|Sonichu (character)}}

{{Quote|I will! Thank you, Father!| [[Sonichu 0]] cover art}}

[[File:Sonichu - Issue 0, Cover.jpg |thumb]]

Being Sonichu’s creator, Chris is established as a fatherly figure towards Sonichu and even has his creation call him “father” in the comics, despite there being no relation between the two nor an origin story for how they met.
In real life, whenever Chris is “possessed” by Sonichu, he refers to himself as “mama” and when redrawing his cover art for sonichu #0, he has sonichu call him mother to match with his current female pronouns.

Unfortunately this relationship would become much more disturbing later down the line.

===Russel and Cynthia===

{{quote|Back in human form, she extracted some of her essence. Then in (female) Sonichu form, she shot her essence up herself ... After that, when she tried to transform back to human, she could not. She was stuck in her Chris Chan Sonichu form. Then between Magi-Chan and the examinations at the hospital, she was knocked up for sure.|Chris, on the [[May_2015_Facebook_posts#Meet_Russel_and_Cynthia|beautiful act of conception.]]}} [[Image:Cynthia_and_Russel.jpg|thumb|The twins, ravenous for affection.]]

'''Russel Sonee''' and '''Cynthia Rosey''' are Chris's fictional Sonee and Rosey children. After Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Sonichu form]] became female to correspond with his [[Tomgirl Saga|newfound female identity]], he got the notion to use his own semen to impregnate himself, thus conceiving Russel and Cynthia. Miraculously, neither of the twins emerged as hideous mutants, and Chris proudly insists that they're completely [[autism]]-free.

This little experiment behind him, Chris shoved them off on [[Heather Iglesias]], claiming to visit them every now and again. They are first seen in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], attending the [[CWCville]] pride festival with their lesbian nanny. On catching sight of Chris, they immediately run up and cling to him, telling him they miss him. Chris gives them a dismissive "awww!" before coldly allowing Heather to take them away.

Chris described the conception again in 2020: ''"She did the thing from between her ol’ [[Duck|cock]] and moving the spunk into her [[Un-clit|vag]], and had to stay stuck in Sonichu form until Russel and Cynthia were born for a few weeks. After that, she went back to her human form, and she had to go through the similar quick process that Roberta went through, but the Estrogen was coming in quicker with C-Chan, since her alt-form was now female."''<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

==Reginald Chandler==
{{Quote|Alternatively, if I have a boy as well, I would name him Reginald; that was not a [[dream]]-thing though. I've had a [[PandaHalo|past internet gal-pal]], who would have likely become my girlfriend after she got here from her native land of Australia after finishing College there with a Teacher Degree. We role-played a family day with the children, and she chose the name of Reginald for the boy-child.|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}
[[File:FatherandSon.png|thumb|right|Chris and Baby Reginald Chandler (Reginald is the stupid little blue stud) from [[PlayingHouse]]]]

'''Reginald Chandler''' is [[Chris]]'s imaginary son and brother to his fictitious daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. He pees on the ceiling.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> He is briefly mentioned in chats with [[PandaHalo|Panda]].

His origins seemingly begin with [[PandaHalo]] and her discussions with Chris about the married life they will have in the future (as for Chris, [[Chris and reality|a single date will inevitably lead to a long and happy marriage]]).

Although Reginald has been mentioned several times in conversation, he is nothing in comparison to his younger sister in Chris's eyes. Reginald has no persona in the comics (except possibly as [[Reginald Sneasel]]) and has never appeared to Chris in a dream. Since the untimely death of PandaHalo, Reginald has not been mentioned outside of direct questioning and a recent video, although it is likely that Chris would still name his hypothetical first-born son Reginald all the same.

Reginald was featured in the [[PlayingHouse]] video, where Chris pretends [[Jackie]] is the mother of his children. This time he was depicted as the younger brother to Crystal. While Crystal can write in a diary despite being in preschool, Reginald was mitigated to speaking only in baby babble. The only interaction Chris has with him is complaining about cleaning up the mess he made in the bathroom, [[Butt garments|changing his diaper]], mentioning that he threw up several times during dinner (never stopping to wipe him off), and demanding he stay quiet for the night so he can [[Hanky panky|fuck]] his wife in peace. It's interesting to note that Chris mentions that Reginald sits in a booster seat, not a high chair. While it's likely Chris doesn't know the difference, it also implies Reginald is big enough to be a toddler. Being a toddler who can only speak in gibberish suggests he inherited [[Autism|a]] [[Speech impediment|lot]] from his father.

In [[April 2019]], [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]], purporting to depict a visit from a time-traveling Reginald.

==Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)==

{{Wise|by drawing himself buttfucking [[Sonichu]], then Sonichu will become pregnant with Crystal at some point.}}

{{quote|As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but [[Dreams|I HAVE A DREAM]]! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future.|Chris, presuming to know the wishes of GodBear<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:09-Crystal_Card.jpg|thumb|Crystal as a [[My Little Pony]] character]]

Around the age of [[2003|21]], [[Chris]] had multiple [[dreams]] in which [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] told him to find a [[sweetheart]] to build [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|from the ground-up]] to have his '''daughter Crystal''', named "after the [[Honor roll|illustrious metal]]",<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> according to him. In a custom ''[[My Little Pony]]'' trading card, Chris depicts Crystal as a pony who traveled back in time to help her father – Chris – find a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. This is [[Things Chris has ripped off|completely ripped off]] from Chibiusa's entire premise in ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.

===Crystal and the Love Quest===
[[Image:CrystalWestonChandler.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's impression. This is probably also Chris's impression. It is also the impression that no one ever wants to see become a reality.]]

Finding a woman who would birth Crystal has been a fairly consistent justification for Chris's [[Love Quest]]. At times he has seemed to be more [[Honest Content|honest]] in wanting a girlfriend so he can [[Chris and sex|get laid]] or prove he's straight. For example, when Julie expressed a desire to have a child, possibly with Chris, he was ambivalent, and seemed more interested in a threesome between Panda, Julie and himself.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3#2009-02-04]]</ref> Yet with new heartthrob Ivy, his fantasy of making a family was strong, and Chris was upset when Ivy said she didn't like the name Crystal, and demanded a say in their daughter's name.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Likewise, in a dialogue with potential sweetheart [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]], Chris revealed that he had a "[[Chris and religion|prophetic]]" dream about Crystal when he was between the ages of seven and nine. He reiterated this later in the conversation, saying he was "definitely in elementary school", when he dreamed about giving birth to a daughter (in the dream he had [[Chris and work|an office job]], which also [[Chris's resume|won't happen]]). "Give birth" slipped out, as in Chris would like to [[Pregnant Act|gestate a human female infant within his body]] (or perhaps [[Monty Python|in a box]]) and somehow deliver her into the world. While it's most likely that Chris just fucked up while talking due to [[stress]] and [[autism]], this could also be a Freudian slip suggesting that Chris has some [[Homos|gender]] [[Pregnant Act|identity]] [[tomgirl|issues]], which typically begin in childhood. It's also somewhat possible that he doesn't know that the mother is the only one who gives birth, seeing how he [[Chris and English|uses it in other contexts]].

After Kacey, [[Jackie]] was next in line as the vessel for which Chris' gift from God was to be bestowed. Crystal was featured in Lego form in the [[PlayingHouse]] video. Despite only being in preschool, she's advanced enough to keep a diary and look after her baby brother [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]].

=== The influence of the Idea Guys ===
[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|300px|Chris draws himself buttfucking his "son", [[Sonichu]], to guarantee Crystal's birth... [[Biology|Somehow.]]]]

In [[December 2017]], Chris was [[brainwashed]] by the [[Idea Guys]] over how Crystal would be born. Role-playing as [[Magi-Chan]] to Chris, an Idea Guy explained that the male [[Sonichu]] would become pregnant with Crystal after being impregnated by Chris through buttsex, and that by drawing it happening, Chris wouldn't have to do nasty anal himself.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A#Trolling Jessica Quinn, drawing of Chris fucking Sonichu]]</ref> Chris actually believed this, and produced the drawing to appease them, even though [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his comic book counterpart]] allegedly does not have a [[Duck|penis]] [[Transgender|post-transition]]. Suffice it to say, nothing ever came of this.

[[Chris lost Crystal]], an undated, leaked video from the Idea Guys saga (although it's mostly due to the influence of the [[Teen Troon Squad]]), shows Chris yelling at a toilet, demanding to know what happened to his "baby". No context has been provided for the video, aside from some associated text provided by the Squad confirming that Crystal was the baby that Chris was screaming about, and not Reginald. However, it's possible that the drawn incident with Chris rawdogging Sonichu may have resulted in Crystal existing ([[Chris and reality|at least in his mind]]) before [[Dark Mirror Hole|disappearing from this world]].

Crystal apparently wrote a [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler|future message]] delivered by her brother Reginald ([[Enablers|actually a troll playing along with Chris's delusions]]). The message itself describes Chris's goals of becoming a parent and warns people to make adjustments to their lives ahead of the coming [[Dimensional Merge]].

Like with much of the Idea Guys' lore, Chris maintained belief in the Crystal birth prophecy long after their ousting. In November 2019, he mentioned it on Twitter:

{{quotebox|It has been written that the father to me becoming the mother of the future Crystal Weston Chandler Sonichu, is none other than Sonichu (Prime), Himself; my Son. I am not dumb, stupid or blind to what is false from others; my abilities and mentality have improved greatly over the past months and years.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194506176505012225</ref>}}

===Name===
Her name is identical to that of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's sister]] from the comics, leading to some confusion.

It is unclear which spelling he was projecting for his future daughter (although he used "Crystal" in a [[Facebook]] message<ref>[[Facebook messages#Christy Backe]]</ref> and the infamous "Story of My Current Days"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>). In the comics he spells his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|stupid fake sister]]'s name "Crystal" consistently, although somebody called "Crystle" appears in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]].

In a [[February 2019 social media posts|2019 survey]] he referred to Crystal as '''Crystal Weston Chandler Rosechu'''.

== Could Chris actually have a child? ==

'''<big>Nope!</big>''' Not anymore.

Prior to becoming [[transgender]], Chris's chances of conceiving his God-given daughter were extremely slim, but not impossible – it was at least possible for him to impregnate a woman, however unlikely that would have been owing to obesity's effect on fertility and rather more pressingly actually finding [[The Suitress|a willing female]]. However, [[May 2015 Facebook posts|with HRT in session]] Chris is destroying what fertility he once possessed, rendering the odds of actually conceiving a child at 0%.

In November 2014, after being rejected by a sperm bank, he even went as far as asking a friend to be the vessel which will allow Crystal to enter our world<ref>[[Open_Relationship_E-mails#Need_my_daughter]]</ref>, but as addressed, he is no longer producing potent sperm. [[All Star|A later video]] showcased that he has difficulty getting an erection in spite of [[mass debating]] for three straight minutes, which just adds to his list of problems. In Chris's defense, however, he had just [[piss]]ed all over the floor, and such an event usually makes it a bit harder to get it up. That being said, some later [[Incest Texts|text-based details]] of ambiguous authenticity during [[Affair with Mother|Chris's "soul-bonding" with his mother]] in 2021 suggested that he used his penis to have sex with Barb. Although Barb was long since infertile at that point, Chris allegedly wore a condom anyway.

In September 2020, Chris explained that he still has interest in getting a sexual reassignment operation in the hopes of being able to give birth.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref> Unfortunately for Chris, those who undergo a male-to-female sexual reassignment surgery are incapable of carrying children. Although some scientists are looking into the possibility of transplanting uteruses into transgender women, Chris would likely be too old or too unhealthy to bear children in the event of such a breakthrough – and that's all presuming that he could save up enough to pay for that in the first place, which seems like wishful thinking, [[Chris and money|considering that money seems to be the only thing that Chris can't hoard]]. [[Jail Saga|Being in jail]] and without his only sources of income makes this even ''less'' likely than ever before - assuming that Chris could somehow get a gender reassignment surgery while behind bars, Virginia's rules about how trans inmates are incarcerated would require Chris to be transferred to a women's prison post-op, which would mean he could not impregnate anyone at that point.

In short, Chris will die childless: as long as he avoids [[Financhu Crisis#Future|sinking his finances]] to the point of foreclosure, the [[toys]] that Chris claimed to hoard for his future children will go to the State of Virginia if there is [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|no will]], and none of his [[Minor Family Members|other family members]] step in.<ref>[https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title64.2/chapter2/section64.2-200/ Code of Virginia § 64.2-200]</ref>

== Should Chris actually have a child? ==

If you are genuinely asking this question, then you really don't know anything about Chris. Parenting is an enormous task that takes huge amounts of effort and competence to pull off correctly; as with Chris himself even if you have two of the most loving parents imaginable an unhealthy mix of stupidity, coddling and manipulation can easily turn any child into a monster.

First and foremost Chris is extremely [[Chris and negligence|negligent]]; which is a trait picked up from his [[Borb|own parents]]. Name a thing in his life that he was tasked with taking care of and you will quickly find that he has left them to rot and rust away; even with things that he cares about he doesn't take particularly good care of and regularly leaves to break because he can't be bothered to actually take care of anything. Children need attention and care, especially during their younger years when they simply cannot take care of themselves; for example, can Chris successfully potty train a child when he cannot do the same with his dogs or even himself? Obviously not.

This is exacerbated by the fact that paradoxically, despite Chris's obsessive desire to be a parent, he has no actual interest in parenting. In the comics where he is both mother and father to Russel and Cynthia; he has [[Heather Iglesias]] take care of them in lieu of showing them any attention himself (with the two children showing obvious signs of parental abandonment), in [[PlayingHouse]] Chris also makes it rather obvious that he actually '''intends''' to neglect his children with Reginald being allowed to wallow in his own filth and vomit (while having not being taught to speak) while Crystal is expected to take care of herself despite being 4 years old.

Children also cost money and lots of it. Unfortunately for Chris, Virginia is among the top ten most expensive states to raise a child in (around 8th place at an annual $23,029) <ref>https://www.washingtonian.com/2021/09/16/maryland-and-virginia-are-among-the-top-10-most-expensive-states-to-raise-kids/#:~:text=Maryland%20and%20Virginia%20are%20among%20the%20top%20ten%20most%20expensive,%2423%2C029%20annual%20cost%20per%20child.</ref> which means that even if Chris was responsible with his money, didn't have an ungodly amount of debt to pay off and didn't have a mother taking a giant chunk out of his monthly payment; his begging videos and his [[monthly tugboat]] simply wouldn't be able to cover it (and that's assuming he has no other expenses).

And finally while in the past it would be considered speculation or something an [[A-log]] would say [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|(even regarding some worrying comments on Facebook)]], nowadays it's obvious that Chris is okay with questionably consensual [[incest]], especially parental incest between a [[Affair with Mother|mother and her child]]. Regarding his previous comments on Facebook regarding incest with one's own child, he was not only accepting over the act but actually encouraged it claiming said act was good experience for the child only adding the condition that the sexual relationship should not be "abusive or hurtful" completely disregarding that not only is sex with a child by definition abusive (and by extension hurtful) [[Pedofork|because children are]] [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|not able to consent to sex]].

In short, if by some miracle Chris was actually capable of conceiving children and somehow being allowed to keep them, they would grow up sick, hungry, penniless, neglected, abused, and/or [[Chris_and_death#Imaginary_friends|dead]].

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu76_wphCp8 CWC Sketch- Crystal]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]
*[[Chris lost Crystal]]
*[[Sonichu]], Christian's other imaginary son.
*[[Simonla Rosechu]], who hoped to someday have a son she would name "Reginald".
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé|Reginald Fils-Aimé]]
{{Love quest}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Fantasies}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Imaginary family

2023-01-25T18:57:29Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Incomplete}}

Chris Chan has numerous family members that exist only in C-197, while Chris has put some real-life counterparts into his imaginary world, this article covers those who have been made up entirely by Chris. This page will not cover Sonichu or the Chaotic combo since they already have their own pages and while Sonichu does refer to Chris as "father" or "mama", this is more along the lines of Chris being his [[Messiah complex| benevolent creator]] rather than an actual family.

Like most, if not all of Chris's original characters; pretty much all of them exist purely to worship him or to give him extra powers in the comic.

==Cherokee Clan leader==
{{Main|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

==Crystal Weston Chandler (twin)==

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Crystal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Crystal Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of creation'''
| 22 June [[Sonichu chronology#2005|2005]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human
|-
| '''Transforms into'''
| Crystalina Rosechu
|-
|}

[[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.]]

'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with<ref>Mentioned in his [[Song of Christian]] video: "hoping" for a "lil brother."</ref> along with some narcissistic pleasure and [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issues]] with seeing himself as an [[Homos#Chris and transsexuality|attractive female]]. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, the perfect daughter, and the perfect female self so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[Chris and sex#Incest|incest]].

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] correlating to Chris's [[Sonichu]] medallion and [[Reldnahc]]'s [[Black Sonichu]] medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which raises the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.

Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same superpowers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal (due to the two characters extremely similar appearance), a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck--and, as this article demonstrates, would've arisen anyway. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

The theme of incestuous narcissism is also prevalent in literature of the Romantic period, particularly that of Lord Byron, who apparently acted on Chris's fantasy. The theory is that the man in question is so much [[Chris and his ego|in love with himself]] that the only other person he could ever truly love is his double. Furthermore, with the Romantic emphasis on sympathy through [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|shared experience]], great nostalgia for [[Chris's room|childhood]], and desire to be "[[Love Quest|understood]]" (though complete disinterest in [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails|understanding]]) make a sibling an ideal sexual partner for the narcissist. Most of the Romantics saw the problem with this, and contented themselves with [[Sarah Hammer|childhood friends]], but then, Chris was never as smart as Wordsworth.

A possible early appearance is in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]] ([[1998]]) where Christian's kart passes something labelled "'''CRYSTLE'''" (the video quality is too low to see anything) and Chris shouts "Hi!" at it/her.
{{-}}

===In the comic===
[[File:Crys.PNG|thumb|left|Note the careful attention he paid to drawing his sister's boobs.]]
[[Image:Crystalina_Rosechu.jpg|thumb|Crystal's anthropomorphic form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier to wear sneakers.]]

Crystal was first introduced in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Sub-Episode 4]], where she appeared to aid Chris during a battle with the [[W-M-Manajerk]] in the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. Beaten and nearly subdued, Chris had a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He revealed to Chris that his [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle [[Bagget]] and the [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder in the [[Get-Tar Region]], as well as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] at the [[PVCC]].

Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] by Mary Lee Walsh and [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. In an attempt to save Chris and [[Sailor Megtune]] from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushed them both out of the way, becoming captive in the Mirror herself. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight - at one point, it was said that gathering the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] would allow Crystal to escape the mirror - but for the most part she was largely forgotten, especially while Christian himself was stuck in the practically identical [[Time Void]].

Since Chris had been keen on ejecting everyone he created from his [[sweetheart search]] misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler seemed quite grim. Then, partway through [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris suddenly turned into [[Collosal Chan]] and rescued her by simply [[Sonichu Special 4|walking in]], [[I AM STRONG|scooping her up]] in his arms and walking out of the mirror in the most [[Chris and writing|anti-climactic way]]. Chris originally planned that he would hand over mayoral power to his sister at the end of this issue, but for [[Chris and his Ego|some reason]] decided not to.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

Being Chris's twin, Crystal's powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called Crystalina Rosechu. When she and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] join together, they are able to form Chris-Chan Pure and execute a powerful ultimate attack known as [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]].

Her "personality" is identical to every single non-evil female character in the franchise: she does nothing except stereotypically girly activities (shopping,<s>getting high from </s> sampling perfumes, chatting about boys, etc) and [[Women's Rights|she defers to men in all things]]. Her fashion sense is similar to her twin brother; she wears the same clown shirts and has a Rosechu medallion. Crystal has an odd quirk where she constantly refers to Chris by his original name, "Christopher," instead of "Christian", the reasoning for which probably exists in Chris' head but has never been elucidated.

In a Twitter post, Chris, while [[Spirit possession|LARPing]] as Sonichu, presented Crystal's origin story. According to Chris, Crystal originated from another dimension where she took over [[CWCville|the helm]] after her dimension's Chris presumably dies. During a battle with her dimension's [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Crystal was sent through a portal into [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] after Chris used the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon her. Chris stated that Crystal decided to remain in C-197 after realizing that Chris was the TRUE and HONEST Chris.<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#What happened to Crystal and more Helena]]</ref>

As another display of Chris's failures in his Love Quest, she also appears to be one of the very few female characters in ''Sonichu'' who was never paired off with anyone.
{{clear}}

===Gallery===
<center><gallery>
Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Crystal joins the [[Moon-Pals]].
File:Collosalcrystalina.png|Crystal+Sonichu balls or something.
File:Crystal 001.jpg|Chris's most prominent thoughts on this matter.
Image:CrystalHawt.jpg|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

[[file:Patti-Chancard.jpg|thumb|Right|he couldn’t let her rest]]

==Patti-Chan==
{{Main|Patti-Chan}}

'''Patti Chandler''' (17 March [[1988]] - 27 [[June 2006]]) was [[Chris]]'s childhood dog, a {{w|Beagle}}-{{w|spitz}} mix who was put down in [[2006]], then brought back as a character in CWCville. Patti grew up with Chris and was the closest thing he had to a sibling, since his [[Cole Smithey| half brother]] wanted nothing to do with his family. In a phone call with [[Clyde Cash]], Chris compares the death of Clyde’s brother to the death of Patti, offending Clyde. Chris defended this by stating that Patti was like a sibling.

Chris brought Patti back to life in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' 6]] as [[Patti-Chan]] (a character created by [[Megan Schroeder]] to help Chris [[Chris and coping|cope]] with the loss of his beloved pet), where she somehow gained the ability to walk, talk, and apply for [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] in [[CWCville]].

==Sonichus and Rosechus==
{{see also|Robee Sonichu|Cera Rosechu}}

===Sonichu===

{{see also|Sonichu (character)}}

{{Quote|I will! Thank you, Father!| [[Sonichu 0]] cover art}}

[[File:Sonichu - Issue 0, Cover.jpg |thumb]]

Being Sonichu’s creator, Chris is established as a fatherly figure towards Sonichu and even has his creation call him “father” in the comics, despite there being no relation between the two nor an origin story for how they met.
In real life, whenever Chris is “possessed” by Sonichu, he refers to himself as “mama” and when redrawing his cover art for sonichu #0, he has sonichu call him mother to match with his current female pronouns.

Unfortunately this relationship would become much more disturbing later down the line.

===Russel and Cynthia===

{{quote|Back in human form, she extracted some of her essence. Then in (female) Sonichu form, she shot her essence up herself ... After that, when she tried to transform back to human, she could not. She was stuck in her Chris Chan Sonichu form. Then between Magi-Chan and the examinations at the hospital, she was knocked up for sure.|Chris, on the [[May_2015_Facebook_posts#Meet_Russel_and_Cynthia|beautiful act of conception.]]}} [[Image:Cynthia_and_Russel.jpg|thumb|The twins, ravenous for affection.]]

'''Russel Sonee''' and '''Cynthia Rosey''' are Chris's fictional Sonee and Rosey children. After Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Sonichu form]] became female to correspond with his [[Tomgirl Saga|newfound female identity]], he got the notion to use his own semen to impregnate himself, thus conceiving Russel and Cynthia. Miraculously, neither of the twins emerged as hideous mutants, and Chris proudly insists that they're completely [[autism]]-free.

This little experiment behind him, Chris shoved them off on [[Heather Iglesias]], claiming to visit them every now and again. They are first seen in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], attending the [[CWCville]] pride festival with their lesbian nanny. On catching sight of Chris, they immediately run up and cling to him, telling him they miss him. Chris gives them a dismissive "awww!" before coldly allowing Heather to take them away.

Chris described the conception again in 2020: ''"She did the thing from between her ol’ [[Duck|cock]] and moving the spunk into her [[Un-clit|vag]], and had to stay stuck in Sonichu form until Russel and Cynthia were born for a few weeks. After that, she went back to her human form, and she had to go through the similar quick process that Roberta went through, but the Estrogen was coming in quicker with C-Chan, since her alt-form was now female."''<ref>[[April 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

==Reginald Chandler==
{{Quote|Alternatively, if I have a boy as well, I would name him Reginald; that was not a [[dream]]-thing though. I've had a [[PandaHalo|past internet gal-pal]], who would have likely become my girlfriend after she got here from her native land of Australia after finishing College there with a Teacher Degree. We role-played a family day with the children, and she chose the name of Reginald for the boy-child.|Chris<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}
[[File:FatherandSon.png|thumb|right|Chris and Baby Reginald Chandler (Reginald is the stupid little blue stud) from [[PlayingHouse]]]]

'''Reginald Chandler''' is [[Chris]]'s imaginary son and brother to his fictitious daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. He pees on the ceiling.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> He is briefly mentioned in chats with [[PandaHalo|Panda]].

His origins seemingly begin with [[PandaHalo]] and her discussions with Chris about the married life they will have in the future (as for Chris, [[Chris and reality|a single date will inevitably lead to a long and happy marriage]]).

Although Reginald has been mentioned several times in conversation, he is nothing in comparison to his younger sister in Chris's eyes. Reginald has no persona in the comics (except possibly as [[Reginald Sneasel]]) and has never appeared to Chris in a dream. Since the untimely death of PandaHalo, Reginald has not been mentioned outside of direct questioning and a recent video, although it is likely that Chris would still name his hypothetical first-born son Reginald all the same.

Reginald was featured in the [[PlayingHouse]] video, where Chris pretends [[Jackie]] is the mother of his children. This time he was depicted as the younger brother to Crystal. While Crystal can write in a diary despite being in preschool, Reginald was mitigated to speaking only in baby babble. The only interaction Chris has with him is complaining about cleaning up the mess he made in the bathroom, [[Butt garments|changing his diaper]], mentioning that he threw up several times during dinner (never stopping to wipe him off), and demanding he stay quiet for the night so he can [[Hanky panky|fuck]] his wife in peace. It's interesting to note that Chris mentions that Reginald sits in a booster seat, not a high chair. While it's likely Chris doesn't know the difference, it also implies Reginald is big enough to be a toddler. Being a toddler who can only speak in gibberish suggests he inherited [[Autism|a]] [[Speech impediment|lot]] from his father.

In [[April 2019]], [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]], purporting to depict a visit from a time-traveling Reginald.

==Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)==

{{Wise|by drawing himself buttfucking [[Sonichu]], then Sonichu will become pregnant with Crystal at some point.}}

{{quote|As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but [[Dreams|I HAVE A DREAM]]! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future.|Chris, presuming to know the wishes of GodBear<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:09-Crystal_Card.jpg|thumb|Crystal as a [[My Little Pony]] character]]

Around the age of [[2003|21]], [[Chris]] had multiple [[dreams]] in which [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] told him to find a [[sweetheart]] to build [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|from the ground-up]] to have his '''daughter Crystal''', named "after the [[Honor roll|illustrious metal]]",<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> according to him. In a custom ''[[My Little Pony]]'' trading card, Chris depicts Crystal as a pony who traveled back in time to help her father – Chris – find a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. This is [[Things Chris has ripped off|completely ripped off]] from Chibiusa's entire premise in ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.

===Crystal and the Love Quest===
[[Image:CrystalWestonChandler.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's impression. This is probably also Chris's impression. It is also the impression that no one ever wants to see become a reality.]]

Finding a woman who would birth Crystal has been a fairly consistent justification for Chris's [[Love Quest]]. At times he has seemed to be more [[Honest Content|honest]] in wanting a girlfriend so he can [[Chris and sex|get laid]] or prove he's straight. For example, when Julie expressed a desire to have a child, possibly with Chris, he was ambivalent, and seemed more interested in a threesome between Panda, Julie and himself.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3#2009-02-04]]</ref> Yet with new heartthrob Ivy, his fantasy of making a family was strong, and Chris was upset when Ivy said she didn't like the name Crystal, and demanded a say in their daughter's name.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Likewise, in a dialogue with potential sweetheart [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]], Chris revealed that he had a "[[Chris and religion|prophetic]]" dream about Crystal when he was between the ages of seven and nine. He reiterated this later in the conversation, saying he was "definitely in elementary school", when he dreamed about giving birth to a daughter (in the dream he had [[Chris and work|an office job]], which also [[Chris's resume|won't happen]]). "Give birth" slipped out, as in Chris would like to [[Pregnant Act|gestate a human female infant within his body]] (or perhaps [[Monty Python|in a box]]) and somehow deliver her into the world. While it's most likely that Chris just fucked up while talking due to [[stress]] and [[autism]], this could also be a Freudian slip suggesting that Chris has some [[Homos|gender]] [[Pregnant Act|identity]] [[tomgirl|issues]], which typically begin in childhood. It's also somewhat possible that he doesn't know that the mother is the only one who gives birth, seeing how he [[Chris and English|uses it in other contexts]].

After Kacey, [[Jackie]] was next in line as the vessel for which Chris' gift from God was to be bestowed. Crystal was featured in Lego form in the [[PlayingHouse]] video. Despite only being in preschool, she's advanced enough to keep a diary and look after her baby brother [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]].

=== The influence of the Idea Guys ===
[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|300px|Chris draws himself buttfucking his "son", [[Sonichu]], to guarantee Crystal's birth... [[Biology|Somehow.]]]]

In [[December 2017]], Chris was [[brainwashed]] by the [[Idea Guys]] over how Crystal would be born. Role-playing as [[Magi-Chan]] to Chris, an Idea Guy explained that the male [[Sonichu]] would become pregnant with Crystal after being impregnated by Chris through buttsex, and that by drawing it happening, Chris wouldn't have to do nasty anal himself.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A#Trolling Jessica Quinn, drawing of Chris fucking Sonichu]]</ref> Chris actually believed this, and produced the drawing to appease them, even though [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his comic book counterpart]] allegedly does not have a [[Duck|penis]] [[Transgender|post-transition]]. Suffice it to say, nothing ever came of this.

[[Chris lost Crystal]], an undated, leaked video from the Idea Guys saga (although it's mostly due to the influence of the [[Teen Troon Squad]]), shows Chris yelling at a toilet, demanding to know what happened to his "baby". No context has been provided for the video, aside from some associated text provided by the Squad confirming that Crystal was the baby that Chris was screaming about, and not Reginald. However, it's possible that the drawn incident with Chris rawdogging Sonichu may have resulted in Crystal existing ([[Chris and reality|at least in his mind]]) before [[Dark Mirror Hole|disappearing from this world]].

Crystal apparently wrote a [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler|future message]] delivered by her brother Reginald ([[Enablers|actually a troll playing along with Chris's delusions]]). The message itself describes Chris's goals of becoming a parent and warns people to make adjustments to their lives ahead of the coming [[Dimensional Merge]].

Like with much of the Idea Guys' lore, Chris maintained belief in the Crystal birth prophecy long after their ousting. In November 2019, he mentioned it on Twitter:

{{quotebox|It has been written that the father to me becoming the mother of the future Crystal Weston Chandler Sonichu, is none other than Sonichu (Prime), Himself; my Son. I am not dumb, stupid or blind to what is false from others; my abilities and mentality have improved greatly over the past months and years.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194506176505012225</ref>}}

===Name===
Her name is identical to that of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's sister]] from the comics, leading to some confusion.

It is unclear which spelling he was projecting for his future daughter (although he used "Crystal" in a [[Facebook]] message<ref>[[Facebook messages#Christy Backe]]</ref> and the infamous "Story of My Current Days"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>). In the comics he spells his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|stupid fake sister]]'s name "Crystal" consistently, although somebody called "Crystle" appears in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]].

In a [[February 2019 social media posts|2019 survey]] he referred to Crystal as '''Crystal Weston Chandler Rosechu'''.

== Could Chris actually have a child? ==

'''<big>Nope!</big>''' Not anymore.

Prior to becoming [[transgender]], Chris's chances of conceiving his God-given daughter were extremely slim, but not impossible – it was at least possible for him to impregnate a woman, however unlikely that would have been owing to obesity's effect on fertility and rather more pressingly actually finding [[The Suitress|a willing female]]. However, [[May 2015 Facebook posts|with HRT in session]] Chris is destroying what fertility he once possessed, rendering the odds of actually conceiving a child at 0%.

In November 2014, after being rejected by a sperm bank, he even went as far as asking a friend to be the vessel which will allow Crystal to enter our world<ref>[[Open_Relationship_E-mails#Need_my_daughter]]</ref>, but as addressed, he is no longer producing potent sperm. [[All Star|A later video]] showcased that he has difficulty getting an erection in spite of [[mass debating]] for three straight minutes, which just adds to his list of problems. In Chris's defense, however, he had just [[piss]]ed all over the floor, and such an event usually makes it a bit harder to get it up. That being said, some later [[Incest Texts|text-based details]] of ambiguous authenticity during [[Affair with Mother|Chris's "soul-bonding" with his mother]] in 2021 suggested that he used his penis to have sex with Barb. Although Barb was long since infertile at that point, Chris allegedly wore a condom anyway.

In September 2020, Chris explained that he still has interest in getting a sexual reassignment operation in the hopes of being able to give birth.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref> Unfortunately for Chris, those who undergo a male-to-female sexual reassignment surgery are incapable of carrying children. Although some scientists are looking into the possibility of transplanting uteruses into transgender women, Chris would likely be too old or too unhealthy to bear children in the event of such a breakthrough – and that's all presuming that he could save up enough to pay for that in the first place, which seems like wishful thinking, [[Chris and money|considering that money seems to be the only thing that Chris can't hoard]]. [[Jail Saga|Being in jail]] and without his only sources of income makes this even ''less'' likely than ever before - assuming that Chris could somehow get a gender reassignment surgery while behind bars, Virginia's rules about how trans inmates are incarcerated would require Chris to be transferred to a women's prison post-op, which would mean he could not impregnate anyone at that point.

In short, Chris will die childless: as long as he avoids [[Financhu Crisis#Future|sinking his finances]] to the point of foreclosure, the [[toys]] that Chris claimed to hoard for his future children will go to the State of Virginia if there is [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|no will]], and none of his [[Minor Family Members|other family members]] step in.<ref>[https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title64.2/chapter2/section64.2-200/ Code of Virginia § 64.2-200]</ref>

== Should Chris actually have a child? ==

If you are genuinely asking this question, then you really don't know anything about Chris. Parenting is an enormous task that takes huge amounts of effort and competence to pull off correctly; as with Chris himself even if you have two of the most loving parents imaginable an unhealthy mix of stupidity, coddling and manipulation can easily turn any child into a monster.

First and foremost Chris is extremely [[Chris and negligence|negligent]]; which is a trait picked up from his [[Borb|own parents]]. Name a thing in his life that he was tasked with taking care of and you will quickly find that he has left them to rot and rust away; even with things that he cares about he doesn't take particularly good care of and regularly leaves to break because he can't be bothered to actually take care of anything. Children need attention and care, especially during their younger years when they simply cannot take care of themselves; for example, can Chris successfully potty train a child when he cannot do the same with his dogs or even himself? Obviously not.

This is exacerbated by the fact that paradoxically, despite Chris's obsessive desire to be a parent, he has no actual interest in parenting. In the comics where he is both mother and father to Russel and Cynthia; he has [[Heather Iglesias]] take care of them in lieu of showing them any attention himself (with the two children showing obvious signs of parental abandonment), in [[PlayingHouse]] Chris also makes it rather obvious that he actually '''intends''' to neglect his children with Reginald being allowed to wallow in his own filth and vomit (while having not being taught to speak) while Crystal is expected to take care of herself despite being 4 years old.

Children also cost money and lots of it. Unfortunately for Chris, Virginia is among the top ten most expensive states to raise a child in (around 8th place at an annual $23,029) <ref>https://www.washingtonian.com/2021/09/16/maryland-and-virginia-are-among-the-top-10-most-expensive-states-to-raise-kids/#:~:text=Maryland%20and%20Virginia%20are%20among%20the%20top%20ten%20most%20expensive,%2423%2C029%20annual%20cost%20per%20child.</ref> which means that even if Chris was responsible with his money, didn't have an ungodly amount of debt to pay off and didn't have a mother taking a giant chunk out of his monthly payment; his begging videos and his [[monthly tugboat]] simply wouldn't be able to cover it (and that's assuming he has no other expenses).

And finally while in the past it would be considered speculation or something an [[A-log]] would say [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|(even regarding some worrying comments on Facebook)]], nowadays it's obvious that Chris is okay with questionably consensual [[incest]], especially parental incest between a [[Affair with Mother|mother and her child]]. Regarding his previous comments on Facebook regarding incest with one's own child, he was not only accepting over the act but actually encouraged it claiming said act was good experience for the child only adding the condition that the sexual relationship should not be "abusive or hurtful" completely disregarding that not only is sex with a child by definition abusive (and by extension hurtful) [[Pedofork|because children are]] [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|not able to consent to sex]].

In short, if by some miracle Chris was actually capable of conceiving children and somehow being allowed to keep them, they would grow up sick, hungry, penniless, neglected, abused, and/or [[Chris_and_death#Imaginary_friends|dead]].

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu76_wphCp8 CWC Sketch- Crystal]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]
*[[Chris lost Crystal]]
*[[Sonichu]], Christian's other imaginary son.
*[[Simonla Rosechu]], who hoped to someday have a son she would name "Reginald".
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé|Reginald Fils-Aimé]]
{{Love quest}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Fantasies}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Chris and fashion

2022-11-21T17:40:38Z

Ellieisdone:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in [[The Classic|the old red, white and blue]].|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes...]]
[[File:Chris at Region 10.jpg|thumb|200px|...for a few decades, at least.]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|The Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Prior to coming out as [[transgender]], the majority of shirts he owned were colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts - most of which were decorated with horizontal stripes, which, despite being scientifically proven to have a slimming effect <ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201502/what-makes-you-look-fat-vertical-or-horizontal-lines?amp</ref>, have any such potential effects crushed by Chris's [[Obesity|impressive physique]]. [[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one of these shirts (the "Advice Dog") was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Though his mother didn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chose to wear these shirts. The advent of Chris's transgender shift was accompanied by a change to garb that may have been more feminine, but was equally cheap and hideous.

==Youth to adult==
=== Childhood ===
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|200px|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polos, T-shirts, and khaki pants. The only difference compared to adulthood is that he sometimes dared to wear single-colored shirts with his favorite [[Sonic the Hedgehog|game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only articles of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme were the yellow [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he owned since he was 19 and a ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|Sonic Heroes]]'' T-shirt he wore throughout [[2004]]. They did not look particularly good on him.

=== Trademark clothing ===
[[File:Classic post-fire 2.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|The Classic, pictured in [[April 2017]], after Chris recovered it from the hoard.]]
[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]

This is the original and most iconic look of Chris, the standard until mid-2011. It is a look immortalized in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] self-insertion. His outfit usually consisted of:
* His [[The Classic|favorite shirt]], a [[Chris and brand loyalty|Ralph Lauren]]<ref>In [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]], Chris claims the polo is actually a Ralph Lauren.</ref> Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which was so tight that it accentuated his voluptuous, masculine bosom. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably drew himself wearing in the comics. Trolls came to call it the "clown shirt" or "The Classic". It was thought destroyed in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|2014 fire]] that gutted the Chandler house,<ref>[[eBay]] comment: "I lost the shirt in the fire" http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&iid=191232666489&requested=jesusguidesme2&redirect=0&frm=2047675&ShowASQAlways=1&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI</ref> but later [[eBay#The Classic shirt|resurfaced for sale in 2017]], when Chris listed it for a minimum price of '''$12,000''' due to the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He had found it in a bag of damp, moldy clothes, wet from the water the firefighters had used to extinguish the flames when his house burned three years prior. He washed it, and then wore it for the first time in years when he uploaded [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]. The shirt was thrown out by Barb in mid-2018 - since then, Chris has worn a similar-looking shirt, with orange stripes instead of red.
* A t-shirt undershirt, typically white.
* His [[medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]].
* A pair of [[pedo-glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically defined his rear end to a disturbing level — he may have been wearing women's jeans, or he may have been simply wearing pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]].
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when he's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|in the mood]] for [[recycling]], or when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for [[Chris and death|funerals]] or [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Starting in late [[2009]], a [[bra]] to keep his previously mentioned bosom in check.

===The "IBA" outfit===
[[File:The Chronicles Of Chris-Chan- They see me trollin, they laughin'... -7-17-09-.mp4 20140516 130015.190.jpg|thumb|The "IBA" outfit, one of his most fashionable choices yet.]]
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made [[Magical Man|certain friends]], Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*A plain colored T-shirt worn over a long-sleeved shirt.
*Tattoo sleeves.
*A black vest (unbuttoned) that was too small for his girth.
*A dog tag worn around the neck as a substitute for the medallion.
*A goatee.
*Sunglasses over normal glasses (the glasses chain remains)

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clown shirts, and claimed that he had been pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video. However, on the same day he [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaved his beard]], he drew the first picture of [[Collosal Chan]], a character which preserved the look for all eternity.

===The "Gay Trucker" outfit===

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person. This included:

* A denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of, making it look somewhat like a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilet gilet].<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref>
* A sleeveless white shirt, exposing his pale, flabby upper arms.
* The dog tag from his IBA outfit.
* A baseball cap.

The result was a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that when Chris tries to look like a bad boy, he ends up looking like a [[Truck Driver|gay trucker]], hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could have made it look gayer would have been by combining it with his muscle bra. Which, unfortunately, he did. [[Fridays After Five|And in public]]. At this point, going back to the medallion would have actually ''improved'' his chances of picking up [[gal-pals]].

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|with a non-prostitute]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly expressed Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that changed the Mountain Dew logo so it read "Mount and Do Me". Fans hoped that since this was a private video for a potential sweetheart, Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[bedroom]]. Alas, Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to Fridays After Five – a '''public, ''family-oriented''''' concert. He topped this by pulling that shirt over his head and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!". The common belief was that these unfunny, sexually-themed shirts were the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is available without ever having to talk to people, nor spend any effort in making a sign.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos in which he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts. The effect was interesting, bringing him closer to normality than he'd been in many years. He was still a pale, sweaty, balding, fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that put him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's T-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more – a Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], and a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

===The [[Carlos Chantor]] outfit===
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet. Too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com. It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.
{{clear}}

==Transgender fashion sense==
===Early fashion===
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]
[[File:TG10.jpg|thumb|Would you fuck me? [[It's not that cold|I'd fuck me]]. I'd fuck me HARD.]]
[[File:Chris_at_a_gay_bar.jpg|thumb|A hemline this high leaves little to the imagination.]]

In [[April 2011]], a series of leaked pictures showed Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consisted of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - Note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[Homos|homosexuality]]; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eye shadow
* Jeans
* Blue string top
* Black thong
* A silver ring (Note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge of [[F Abstinence|abstinence]] until [[Lovely Weather|marriage]])<ref>[[:File:TG6.jpg]] - Chris-Tran with his new silver ring</ref><ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/ silverringthing.com]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]
* A new head-band (as seen in the [[Facebook]] pictures)

While not seen in the leaked images, Chris's posts in [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] revealed he also donned skirts and panties as part of his new look.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162 Re: Girly Things Tee Hee]</ref><ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315 Re: Mothers]</ref> In [[September 2011]], Chris was also photographed carrying a purse.

Chris was very happy with his new fashion choices, but friction with his parents made it difficult for him to wear makeup and women's clothing overtly. Sometimes he had to change after leaving the house or before returning (but he could always wear a bra and panties).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref>

===Late fashion===
[[File:CWC1214.png|thumb|150px|Chris in December 2014. Note that he thought that this was a convincing disguise that would prevent him from being recognized at Gamestop.]]
Chris continued to wear female clothing, albeit with some refinements, over the course of the next couple of years. Although he has long since dispensed with the clownish polo shirts and jeans, many characteristics of his tomgirl wardrobe are remarkably consistent with the way he dressed when he still wore men's clothing, especially in terms of color coordination and clothing size. He also remains committed to buying all his clothes from thrift stores, giving him the appearance of a dumpy bag lady. He summarized his style in [[November 2014]] as "colored leggings, denim skirts mini to knee length, bold colored shirts and blouses".<ref>[[Commissions#The Flufflehugs Commissions]]</ref> Some of the most frequent themes in his feminine fashion choices are:

* Clashing, violently-opposed colors (particularly red with blue or green)
* Clothing far too small for him
* Dresses or skirts with very high hems
* Leggings, to help with tucking
* Sports bras
* Big, floppy, church-lady hats
* Eye makeup, applied poorly and usually purple or blue in color

A deviation from this style was seen in the video of the [[26 December 2014]] incident, where Chris is shown in purple [[My Little Pony]] shades, (probably as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]); a silver headband, showing off his ever-receding [[hair|hairline]]; his Manchester High sweatshirt; short jeans matched with long, purple socks and/or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|another pair of pants]]; and boots (possibly Uggs).

The fact that Chris wore skirts and makeup for each of his court hearings in 2015, even those to which [[Barb]] accompanied him, suggests that he consistently dresses this way in public, and that his mother has come to grudgingly accept her son's transgender attire.

In 2015, Chris also started dying his hair blue, but predictably failed to do it properly, and ended up dying it an ugly, seaweed green instead. Combined with his wardrobe that manages to somehow simultaneously resemble the attire of a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|5 year old girl]] and a [[Barb|65 year old cat lady]], the resulting look has been sardonically referred to by Kiwis as "mermaid grandma".

==Gopnik outfit==
[[File:CWC Magfest Aftermath @BatteryEffect.jpeg|thumb|200px|left|„А ну, чики-брики!“]]
In [[December 2017]], Chris appeared in [[Cherokean Chant|a video]] dressed as a classic Russian [[Wikipedia:gopnik|''gopnik'']], wearing a striped black Adidas tracksuit jacket (with his usual ugly skirt) and cap, drinking a bottle of [[Alcohol|vodka]]. The full ensemble, as Chris wore for his famous appearance at [[MAGfest]] in [[January 2018]], consists of the cap, jacket (often unzipped over another shirt), and a pair of matching tracksuit pants (often under a skirt). However, he often swaps out the pants, and sometimes wears one element of the outfit on its own. Chris first wore the gopnik outfit under the [[Idea Guy]]'s influence, but seems to have adopted it as a mainstay of his wardrobe. In February 2018, he introduced a [[Christine Doll#Resurrection|new model of the Christine Doll]] with the tracksuit's stripes and logo painted on. In [[April 2018]], Chris drew himself in the Gopnik outfit on the cover of [[Sonichu 17|''Sonichu'' #17]].

==The Vinyl Scratch==

[[File:CWCTheClassic1.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris wearing the classic with the Vinyl Scratch Skirt.]]

“The Vinyl Scratch” is a white tube skirt with a double whole music note. In 2015, Chris attended [[OmegaCon]] cosplaying as DJ pony3, nicknamed [[Vinyl Scratch]] by fans, from the My Little Pony: “ Equestria Girls” franchise, the whole note resembling her cutie mark in her pony form. However, after the convention, Chris would continue to wear the skirt that came with the outfit almost daily, likely not washing it very often, up until his arrest.

{{clear}}

=="Breathe It In"==
[[File:Breathe It In.jpg|thumb|200px|A sample showing Chris wearing the shirt in videos spanning several months.]]
The '''Breathe It In''' shirt is an Athletic Works [[Walmart]]-brand women's top frequently worn by Chris beginning in mid-[[2018]]. He explained his attachment to the shirt in a tweet, commenting that "the message is always relative to the daily life and situations: “Breathe It In”."<ref>[[August 2019 social media posts#"Magi-Chan" explains how he got into this world]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Headgear==
Since 2017, Chris has increasingly started wearing various tiaras (alongside his [[Sonichu Medallion]]) for his shenanigans both indoors and out.

<center><gallery>
File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|The [[unicorn cosplay]] in summer 2017.
File:Sonichu standee 2.jpg|A [[Sailor Moon]] tiara in summer 2018.
File:Chris at Region 10.jpg|Sailor Moon tiara with headbands in summer 2018, at the [[Region Ten]] therapist office.
File:Chriswithbensaint.png|A [[CPU]] wire tiara in summer 2019.
File:CWC Discord selfie for VoidZine server.jpg|A crown for holding [[magic stones]] against his forehead in spring 2020.
File:CWCCoinPose.jpg‎|A tiara [[Null]] requested Chris to pose in during February 2021 for a silver coin design for the [[Kiwi Farms]] merch.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/perhaps-the-most-retarded-idea-ive-ever-had.84199/</ref>
</gallery></center>

==Rings==
{{incomplete|info on rings}}
[[File:Cwchand.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's rings, pictured [[June 2021]].]]

{{clear}}

==Chris on fashion==
[[File:CWC and FourScore64 Too Many Games.jpg|thumb|Chris in skirt and leggings, 2018]]
In [[November 2016]], Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Women should wear skirts|posted]] a commentary on women's fashion.

In it, Chris implored women to wear skirts with leggings instead of pants, saying to "view it from [[Attraction Sign|a pervert's perception]]: they eye downward and have Good view of the in-between, as well as easier access to picture it in their imaginations from there. With a dress or skirt concealing the area, it is actually more difficult for the perv, and, thus, more difficult to picture and imagine what is or isn't at the [[China|groin area]]."

He also requested men to consider wearing kilts - stressing to wear pants underneath, saying, "NOBODY is impressed with that [[Pickle|bulge]]; moreover it is Absolutely Offensive," which indicates that Chris has shifted from [[Brassieres For Males|obsessing over men's chests]] to obsessing over their crotches.

[[File:Chris at Target April 2019.jpg|thumb|right|200px]]Several photographs of Chris taken in early 2019 show him wearing an orange, white and blue striped shirt, including an eyewitness photo of him at a [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] store.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is autistic, observers speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question.

Chris seems to regard clothing and color as an integral part of peoples' identities. During the events of the [[Liquid Saga]], Chris took a special interest in [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]]'s choice of a brown striped shirt, referring to Liquid as a "Brown-Striped Impostor"<ref>[[SingStar Challenge]]</ref> and fixating on Liquid's shirt as a symbol of his inauthenticity, despite the fact that Chris [[hypocrisy|owns several brown shirts himself]]. Chris also believed that [[jerkops|police officers]] wearing brown or beige uniforms weren't authentic, and that true police officers only wear blue. He referred to the man he [[pepper spray]]ed as a [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]] – and let's not forget that the macing was inspired by Sega changing Sonic's arms from tan to blue.

Like many of his lifestyle changes which occurred during the Tomgirl Saga, Chris's unceremonious abandonment of his classic shirts came as a surprise to trolls who had spent years speculating on Chris's clothing as a symbol of his identity, and his usual resistance to change as a symptom of his autism. However, even in retrospect, Chris seems to hold the clothes he used to wear in very high regard as a symbol of his identity and legacy, as shown when he listed "The Classic" on eBay for a whopping $12,000. Writing after the end of the auction, Chris felt the need to commemorate the occasion with some words:<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Barb borrowed from life insurance]]</ref>

{{Quote|Yes, the shirt's auction has ended high, but I am still awaiting payment from the mother of one of my fans, who, unless remains anonymous, will have her name go down in History for not only restoring a very Iconic Artifact, but also improves this artist's family's life, After the restoration and disinfection of the shirt. Her most grateful son will be proud of her for having gone down in history for Restoring the Fire-Survivor Iconic Shirt of Sonichu and Rosechu's Creator. Thank You, Missus.|Chris on why history books should remember the momentous occasion wherein some dumbass bought a moldy piece of cloth from another dumbass}}

Not only is this statement [[Chris and his Ego|extremely egotistical]] even by CWC's standards, it also betrays the fact that Chris continues to treat a shirt that he let rot in a plastic bag for two years with an undue amount of gravitas. It seems that Chris views the clothing he has worn over the course of his life, much like [[Christopher's name change#Christopher as a separate personality|the various names he has had]], as an important symbol of his identity as it has twisted and changed. Because autistics are known to place extreme importance on inanimate objects, this can be seen as standard autistic behavior.

==Classic Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe prior to 2011, along with links to the videos they appeared in:

===Shirts===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"[[The Classic|The Classic]]" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]] [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt|18]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]] [[Chris Sings Lovin' You|5]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]] [[Chris with Teen Troon Squad|2]]
Image:Christshirt42.png|"The Statesmen" [[10252009 For Kacey|1]] [[To Clyde Gregg|2]] [[For Chris II|3]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|7]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]] [[Message for John Kyle|5]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]
</gallery>
</center>

===Pants===

<center>
<gallery>
File:The Classic Jean.png|"The Classic Jeans"
File:Chris's yellow shorts.jpg|"The Mellow Yellow"
</gallery>
</center>

==Cross-dressing Boutique==
In recent years, Chris has ditched the clown shirts, instead opting for an arguably worse wardrobe, see below:

===Shirts===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:The Clopper.PNG|"The Clopper" [[Paid Video Requests#Josh Lover of men|1]] [[Announcement 07202016|2]] [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter|3]] [[Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Nathan.|4]] [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare|5]] [[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"|6]] [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Oh, Wait. I've got one more...|7]] [[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt|8]] [[Minor Update, Handouts!#Minor Update, plus we need more money, Please.|9]] [[Minor Update, Handouts!#We Said Donations No Less than $1.00, US, Please|10]] [[Live Drawing Streams#06072017|11]] [[CLog 06232017|12]] [[CLog 07072017 #HarassCWCdirectly#Video|13]]
Image:White tomgirl with Heart design.png|"The Shattered Heart" [[Announcement 06292016|1]] [[Announcement 06292016#Announcement 06292016-2|2]] [[Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3|3]] [[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4|4]] [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Singing "All of the Lights"|5]]
Image:imdoneadulting.png|"The Broken Brony" [[November 2016 Paid Video Requests|1]] [[Feelings of the election results|2]] [[I Tweet AND Post Simultaneously|3]] [[Help, please|4]] [[Patreon announcement|5]] [[The Alpha Trion/"Young Warrior" Challenge|6]] [[Alpha Trion/"Young" warrior challenge explained|7]] [[Z-Ring Fun Extra|8]] [[January 2017 Paid Video Requests|9]] [[November 2017 Paid Video Requests#Singing The Dream I Dreamed|10]] [[November 2017 Paid Video Requests#Singing Sorry (Not Sorry)|11]]
 [[The_Alpha_Trion/"Young_Warrior"_Challenge|1]]
Image:thepromoter.png|"The Promoter" [[Update_02/16/2016|1]]
Image:sonicrainboom.png|"The Sonic Rainboom" [[Jungle bells|1]] [[Holiday_Greetings_to_Karen_Riley|2]]
Image:thehappyhag.png|"The Happy Hag" [[Update_01/12/2016|1]] [[Apologies_for_offending_people|2]] [[Doxing_Jeff/Francine|3]] [[Eid,_Pmurt,_Eid|4]] [[Embargo_Update_12/2/2015|5]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|7]] [[GameStop_is_UNFAIR_to_Everyone;_Not_Just_Me!|6]] [[Happy_Birthday,_Martin.|8]] [[Happy_Pokémon_Day.|9]] [[HelloLadyFans|10]] [[I%27m_sick;_we_need_money_donations;_no_video_requests_for_a_while|11]] [[I_Am_me;_He_is_not|12]] [[Jeff_is_Beyond_Denounced.|13]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|14]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|15]] [[Reading:_"A_Girl_Who_Brought_Down_the_World",_"And_Apparently_Survived_a_Housefire"|16]] [[September_2016_Paid_Video_Requests|17]] [[Thank_You_from_Christine_Chandler|18]] [[Twelve_New_and_Old_Things_of_Christmas|19]] [[Update,_1/22/2016,_and_new_items_for_Cwcville_Shopping.|20]] [[Update_01/12/2016|21]] [[Update_1/25/2016|22]] [[Yes,_it_still_has_been_I,_Christine_Weston_Chandler,_who_has_been_uploading_the_videos_personally.|23]]
Image:thedealmaker.png|"The Deal Maker" [[Proposition_to_Sega|1]] [[Announcement_04/16/2016|2]]
Image:bubblegumnightmare.png|"The Bubblegum Nightmare" [[Live_Game_Stream_-_C-Log_050032017-2|1]] [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|2]] [[Chris talking about the Binding of Isaac|3]]
Image:toothpastetube.png|"The Toothpaste Tube" [[CLog_07142017_-_Rainbow_Colouring|1]]
Image:ManchesterSweaterFixed.png|"The Manly Chester" [[I Love You, Catherine|1]] [[26_December_2014#Video|2]]
Image:Bigbaggyblue.png|"The Big Baggy Blue" [[CLog_07072017|1]] [[I need some local C64 Tech Help, Please|2]]
Image:MANCHILDMELTDOWN.png|"The Manchild Meltdown" [[I_Am_Sick_of_the_HATE!!!_(I_could_use_a_break)|1]] [[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!|2]] [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|3]] [[We Need some gas money, Please, Help.|4]] [[April 2019 videos#@MintendoMerd|5]] [[April 2019 videos#Also, Happy Birthday to MKR!|6]] [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|7]] [[Pappy Van Poodle Interview|8]] [[Pewdiepie Does Not Live Here; He Lives In Sweden|9]] [[Believe in the OCs and Deities!|10]] [[General BronyCon Announcement.|11]] [[First recorded statement of Magi-Chan Sonichu - August 15, 2019|12]] [[Chris Chan Sonichu plays Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder, Solitaire|13]] [[Xleepy|14]] [[Red vs Blue Reaction Livestreams#Reaction Video: Red Vs Blue Part 1|15]] [[Red vs Blue Reaction Livestreams#TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 2 Reaction Video|16]] [[Sonichu's Update on the Dimension Merge and Sermon - October, 2020|17]] [[Sonichu Reaction TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 6|18]] [[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground|19]] [[Birthday Greetings to Devin|20]] [[Paid Shout Out to Lifeguard Hermit|21]] [[Chris Chan's shoutout to JoSona6|22]] [[Praetor|23]]
Image:Chrisshirt classic20.png|"The Classic 2.0" [[Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes|1]] [[Dimensional Merge Announcements|2]] [[December 2018 Paid Video Requests|3]] [[Chris Kisses Rosechu|4]]
File:Chris's negligee.png|"The Lavender Lingerie"
</gallery>
</center>

===Pants/Skirts===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Chris's funky sweats.png|"The Southwestern Sweats"
File:Chris's White Music Note Skirt.png|"The Vinyl Scratch"
</gallery>
</center>

==Accessories==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Unicorn horn and ears.png|"The Unicorn Cosplay"
File:Crystal and Gem necklace.png
File:Fingerless gloves.png
</gallery>
</center>

==Incarceration Attire==
Little is known about the daily wardrobe choices of Chris while he is in jail awaiting court hearings on incest charges. Nothing is known about what he may have worn during his 64 day long stint at [[Western State Hospital]], nor where he even is after the case was sealed. Ironically, however, the one photo to exist of him after his initial mugshot in [[August 2021]], would feature him wearing a striped shirt once again. A harrowing callback to something that was once harmless and iconic; now succeeded by a colorless and soulless husk of something vividly resembling a simpler time.

===Shirts===
<center>
<gallery>
File:The Classic 3 trimmed.png|"The Ruckersville Mother Fucker"
</gallery>
</center>

==Other aspects of his Fashion sense==
===Custom-painted shoes===
[[File:Painted shoes finished.jpg|thumb|250px|Spray-painted in Sonichu's colors.]]
[[File:SoniShoes.jpg|thumb| In [[May 2020]] after being sold to [[Jacob Sockness]]]]
Chris wears shoes that he sloppily spray-paints blue and yellow. He demonstrated his technique in [[Shoe Colouring]]. They would later be sold to [[Jacob Sockness]] on 12 March 2019.

{{clear}}

===Wrist warmer===
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>{{PublicSource}}}}

Chris likely wears this article to counter [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

===Fanny pack===
[[File:0419-ChristianIs17-14.jpg|thumb|200px]]
A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and were considered to be a fashion faux pas until the late 2010s.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally, Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

<gallery><center>
Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|Chris and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]].
Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.
</gallery></center>

===Cosplaying===
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

{{Articleofthenow}}

Vivian Gee

2022-11-18T17:27:10Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Troll|She was played by the same person behind [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/clyde-cash.1094/#post-71718</ref> This is why they left at the same time.}}
{{quote|Vivian Gee is a [[Gal-Pal]]; Please Relocate the link(s) to her page as such.|Chris in the [[CWC Blog]] 14 March 2010}}
{{quote|hopefully chris will just stop. seriously|Vivian, responding to comments on the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]].}}

{{infobox Person
| title = Vivian Gee
| image = Vivian.jpg
| name = Vivian Gee
| aliases = Vivi viviG Vivitheg
| day = 14
| month = July
| year = 1987
| gender = Female
| nationality = French<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009]]</ref>
| relatives = [[Clyde Cash]] (cousin)
| saga = {{saga|clyde|cn}}
}}

'''Vivian Gee''' is the creator of the ''[[Sonichu]]'' [[audiobooks]] and other [[Chris]]-related videos and cousin to [[Clyde Cash]].

She is also the owner of '''Hamsty the Hamster''', a video-posting plush hamster that has already managed to kill itself several times over Chris's wonderful effects on the psyche. On 30 [[May 2010]] Hamsty was decleared the owner of [[CWCipedia]].

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==Contact with Chris==
[[Image:Vivi profile 8 by viviG.jpg|thumb|If you think this was Vivian, '''THINK AGAIN!''']]

Vivian, ironically, was probably one Chris's [[The Wallflower|few]] [[DoopieDoOver|serious]] [[The Suitress|Internet]] "[[Watchmen|friends]]". While that might be taking it a little far, she's tried to genuinely help him. However, despite all the warnings of imminent doom, Chris ignored her regularly, and proceeded to fail spectacularly. Vivian has apparently toned down the [[white knight]] antics, and has realized Chris is an [[Autism|idiot]] who ''cannot improve''. [[Vivian Gee E-mails|Several e-mails]] have been recovered so far. Most are simply Vivian saying "JESUS, STOP BEING A FUCKTARD!!" and real advice. Chris wasn't interested until it involved his Internet [[gal-pals]] or ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. She once [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|talked to Chris for three hours]] to convince him to get help, with no success; in her words, talking some damn sense into Chris is "like fighting a wall".

Some time later, Vivian gave Chris a copy of [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|a novel]] she had written. Chris, however, most likely did not read it, as he mentioned that the cover "was nice" and was worried he was being charged for it. Had he actually sat down and read it, however, he would have probably seen some incredible similarities between the characters and settings of that story and [[CWCville|his own world]].

In [[September 2009]], [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 4th, 2009|a Captain's Log video]] was addressed specifically to Vivian, with Chris demanding that she close her [[YouTube]] account AND delete all the videos, "if she wants to earn back his trust" after she and [[Clyde Cash]], her cousin, had done "so much bad against him." It was soon followed by a [[Sign Destruction Video|violent death-threat video]] by Chris against Vivian, threatening to brutally dismember her and all of her family members, in which he expressed his hope that it would make her understand "the fury of [[Chris and anger|his wrath]]".

In a [[Captain's Log]] written on the [[CWCipedia]] on 14 March 2010, Vivian G.'s page is one of many listed in Chris's collection of those that are demanded to be altered after the discovery of [[The Wallflower]]'s page, completely and utterly unaware of Vivian's true nature.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log&oldid=4015 Captain's Log, Stardate March 14, 2010]</ref>

Vivian also sent [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] a gift for his 82nd birthday (4 September 2009), when his own autistic son forgot.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

As of May 2012, Vivian has apparently gone the way of [[Liquid Chris]] and shut down her YouTube account. Her DeviantArt page remains online but has been inactive since 2009.

==Extortion by Chris==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|Apologies, Mafioso-style.]]
After weeks of tension, the relationship between Chris and Vivian started to relax a little, and on 14 [[November 2009]] Chris extended an olive branch of peace. He [[Chris and remorse|excused himself]] for his lamentable attitude and decided to approve the audiobooks, in return for a cut of the proceeds. Chris, feeling smug after receiving some [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|papers from the state of Virginia]], felt the need to pressure Vivian out of her hard-earned money. He thought that 25% of all the donations for the audiobooks should be used to support his already [[Monthly tugboat|lavish]] [[Chris and money|lifestyle]]. Vivian kindly declined the offer on her YouTube account via her spokes-"person".
{{clear}}

==Emails==
{{main|Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008|Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Vivi profile posthalloween by viviG.png|Self-portrait from dA.
image:2nd Background.PNG|October 8 image.
Image:Chris rages yet again.png|It ain't law-breaking, bro.
Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|Chris sure knows [[How to Talk to Girls]].
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[Audiobooks]]
* [[Clyde Cash]] - Another alias belonging to the same troll.
* [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin']] - The name of CWCville's bar was "Vivian's".

== References ==
<references/>

==External links==

*[http://web.archive.org/web/20100304071252/http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg Vivitheg's YouTube channel] - Archived.
*[http://vivig.deviantart.com/ Vivian Gee's deviantART account]

{{ClydeCashSaga}}
{{trolls}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Gee, Vivian}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Miscreants Members]]

Praetor

2022-11-18T17:26:01Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Incomplete|Pictures of Jail Saga merchandise}}
{{Unreliable|type=cred|The members are all infamous attention seekers, and merely got in touch with Chris with the sole intent of piggybacking off his notoriety on the internet.|The members will occasionally say edgy and disgusting things purely for shock value.}}
{{quote|(Editor's Note: All descriptions, titles, and product designs come directly from Chris Chan. These are hand done, and will therefore reflect the "Chris Chan Style." Expect defects, burns, and a general lapse in quality.)|Praetor's Etsy account, confirming that the products being shipped will be dogshit, even by Chris's standards}}

{{Infobox Organization
|name = Praetor
|image = PraetorLogo.jpg
|saga = {{saga|praetor|cn}}
}}
[[File:Praetor Instagram tags copy-min.png|250px|thumb|Three of the Praetor members, pictured with Chris. Not pictured is member owen_sundstrom.]]

'''Praetor''' (sometimes referred to as "'''The Praetors'''") is a group of edgy [[enablers]] and [[carpetbaggers]], some of whom live around [[wikipedia:Goochland, Virginia|Goochland, Virginia]], who produce and sell ''Sonichu''-themed products with Chris's permission, giving him a cut of the profits in exchange. In [[October 2020]], photos were discovered of the group posing with Chris on [[Instagram]]. Although Praetor was "officially partnered" with Chris, things like how they began contact with Chris, or their true relation to him are unknown.

On 19 [[October 2020]], the Praetor group posted their announcement of a collaboration with Chris onto [[Instagram]] and [[Twitter]], showing Chris along with two girls and a guy, who are tagged on the account on Instagram. Chris also held a [[Sonichu's Update on the Dimension Merge and Sermon - October, 2020|sermon]] with the audience being the Praetors at the Goochland public library, which Chris uploaded on 8 [[November 2020]]. A picture of a member of Praetor purchasing a stun gun and a [[Pikachu]] mask was posted on 15 November 2020, which Praetor later claimed to be promotion for sales of autographed tasers. In February 2021, Chris wished to borrow a [[taser]] from Praetor to tase his [[Magic stones|collection of quartz crystals]] to activate the [[Dimensional Merge]] (with Chris also considering using the taser on himself, an idea Praetor objected to out of concern for Chris's safety),<ref name=tasercall>[[Taser Discussion]]</ref> though Chris's taser plans seemingly fell through.

Praetor was a target of harassment by the [[Watchmen]] group, believed by them to be a group of [[Idea Guy]]-Esque trolls. Many rumors about the group were subsequently spread around by Watchmen leader [[Naught]], Watchmen member [[MKRNightVee]], [[Larry Vaughn]], and [[Bella]] following the release of a clip of a call between Chris, Praetor leader Caden Peck, and many Watchmen members.

On 29 July 2021, a [[Incest_Call#Original_leak|four-minute call]], where Chris admitted to having [[Affair with Mother|sexual intercourse with his mother]], was leaked. It was soon revealed that the caller was Praetor member [[Isabella Loretta Janke]].

In [[Jail Letter - 18 January 2022]], Chris mentioned that he wished to get back in contact with Praetor. Later that year, Praetor restocked their [[Etsy]] shop with new items, including art pieces Chris mailed to them from [[jail]].



==Known members==
{{Quote|In the group, [[Praetor#Annie_Ikenberry|Annie]] is very much psychically able. [[Praetor#Owen_Sundstrom|Owen]] is like the magician of the group; among his skill set, he can also make a variety of special teas and such that can be like potions and elixirs. Cabell is also psychically inclined, but she's the artist.<ref group = note>"Cabell" is speculated to be a nickname for [[Bella]].</ref> [[Caden]] is very open-minded, and the brains and business.|Chris<ref>[[Naught DMs]]</ref>}}
===Caden Peck===
{{Infobox Person
|image = CadenPeck.png|100px
|name = Caden Peck
|gender = Male
|aliases = Praetor tinyhorse01
|saga = {{saga|praetor|cn}}, {{saga|jail|cn}}
}}


'''Caden Peck''' ('''tinyhorse01''') is a co-founder and the leader of Praetor, as well as one of Chris's "business associates". According to Chris in the [[2021 Jail Call]], Caden is responsible for scanning his work to later publish. A few [[Larry Vaughn DMs#Contact Info - Discord|leaked DMs]] between Chris and [[Larry Vaughn]] also revealed plans to create a [[Discord]] server. Caden was also in charge of the Praetor accounts which had directly interacted with Chris.

He was also the sole Praetor member involved in the [[Taser Call]], being accompanied by several Watchmen members like The WCT and MKR.

Chris stated in a 12 July 2021 chat that Caden was one of the people he had asked for help with getting together a posse for "sharing and protection" at [[Everfree Northwest]], as [[Jacob Sockness]] had previously declared that he'd also attend the event.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Sockness alert]]</ref>

In a jail letter from [[July 2022]], Chris claimed that Caden was helping him raise a $150,000 fundraiser so that he can go back home after he has been released from jail.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref> After [[Kenneth Engelhardt]] had criticized Caden's actions, Chris berated Kenneth, telling him that he shouldn't be "judging Caden in that vain[sic]".

===Annie Ikenberry===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Annie Ikenberry''' ('''annirenee''') is an OnlyFans camgirl who was recruited by Praetor in order to "lure in" Chris. In a 17 [[February 2021]] discussion with the [[Watchmen]], Chris confessed that he had feelings for her, because of course he did.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref>

{{clear}}

===Owen Sundstrom===
[[File:OwenSundstrom.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Owen Sundstrom''' ('''owen_sundstrom''') is a co-founder of Praetor, according to Larry Vaughn. Not much else is known about him other than him posing with Chris during a sermon about the Merge.

{{clear}}

===Unnamed Member===
A blond woman pictured in the group photo posing with Chris. An Instagram tag was associated with the photo but was censored by the CWCki due to Praetor having mistagged the photo with an unrelated account. Watchmen members have also misidentified the woman as being Bella when Chris told Kyle about the animated intro she made for him.{{Cite}}

===Isabella Loretta Janke===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|100px]]
{{Main|Isabella Loretta Janke}}
'''Isabella Loretta Janke''' collaborated with Praetor to make the [[Chris Chan Sonichu Intro animation|animated Chris-Chan Sonichu Introduction video]], and had an unclear relationship with them going forward. Bella claims that she cut ties with them early in 2021.<ref name=animation>{{cite farms|thread=79414|post=8539683|title=YT 11/13/20 - Chris Chan Sonichu Intro animation}}</ref> Chris claimed in [[Jail Letter - 13 June 2022|a jail letter]] that Bella was not an active participant in Praetor's sales, and that her primary contribution was her work on the animated intro.

==Etsy shop==

On 11 December 2020, Chris advertised for their Etsy shop, linking to [[medallion|medallions]] produced by the group, explaining that he was currently unable to produce the medallions himself and so outsourced the production to Praetor, mentioning he would get a cut of the profits in exchange.<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts#Praetor sells medallions]]</ref> In February 2021, Chris mentioned he had been paid $400 out of $6,000 Praetor had made.<ref name=tasercall></ref>

The account on Etsy is also named Praetor, and they are the owner of OfficialCWCmart. As of 15 December, they have sold 151 medallions, and are considered a bestseller.<ref>https://www.etsy.com/listing/904683630/official-chris-chan-sonichu-medallion</ref>

==The Golden Church of Sonichu==
{{Main|Golden Church of Sonichu messages}}

'''The Golden Church of Sonichu''' was a Discord server created by Praetor. Customers gained access to it after purchasing a Golden Sonichu medallion from their Etsy page.

{{quote|NOTE: When the Golden Medallions were first introduced, they functioned as a ticket into Christine's Golden Sonichu Discord, the beginnings of her attempt at crowdfunding an actual church. This is no longer the case.}}

The server sat in limbo following Chris's [[Jail_Saga#Arrest|arrest]], with users primarily posting about Chris's antics in jail.

==Praetor and Tasers==

{{Main|Taser}}

[[File:praetor cart.jpg|thumb|What do they plan to do with [[Captain's Log|that taser]]?]]

{{quote|we had a whole discussion about why it's a bad idea.|Caden, one of Praetor's members, trying to talk Chris out of tazing himself.<ref name=tasercall>[[Taser Discussion]]</ref>}}

On 15 [[November 2020]], Praetor posted a screenshot of an online shopping service's shopping cart - in the cart was a Pikachu mask and a VIPERTEK VTS-989 560 BV stun gun. Praetor stated:

{{quote|As Praetor, we always work hard to produce the best videos we can. Good works are in progress!|Praetor on an Instagram post featuring a Pikachu mask and stun gun.<ref>https://www.instagram.com/p/CHms9kGlhc3/ (archive: https://archive.ph/K6ojQ)</ref>}}

Praetor later claimed this was for promotion of sales of autographed tasers.

In [[February 2021]], Chris stated that he wanted to borrow one of Praetor's tasers to stun his [[Gate Crystal]] and [[Celestial Key]] [[quartz crystals]] in an attempt to activate the [[Dimensional Merge]].<ref>[[February 2021 Watchmen leaks‎]]</ref>

Watchmen leader [[Naught]] then created a vicious rumor, stating that [[Larry Vaughn]] was in on a plot with Praetor when he shared bits of a conversation that he had with Chris regarding his intention to shock his crystals.

In [[2022]], Praetor began selling tasers previously autographed by Chris on their Etsy shop, supposedly for the purpose of simulating "zapping to the extreme" for buyers. Those were posted with the following description:<ref>https://www.etsy.com/listing/1224899249/chris-chan-taser ([https://archive.ph/kHdM1 archive])</ref>

{{quote|Recent Christorians may recall the Taser Incident, where the Praetor group while working with Christine posted images of tasers onto their respective Instagrams and Twitters. Through leaked chats and discussion, it was hypothesized that the Praetor group was planning to tase Chris on video. This lead to a flurry of drama and doxing, and the tasers were forgotten.

The tasers had originally been intended for sale, as signed ones would be put out for purchase. To avoid negative attention, they were boxed and stored away to wait until the smoke cleared. Now, these zappy little buggers are available for sale once again!

Each Taser is hand signed by Christine herself, emblazoned with her autograph and the iconic phrase "Zappin' it Up!" Per Christine's suggestion.

Now you too can zap it to the extreme. Handle with care, while these are collectables they can be recharged and may have residual charge left over.

Package comes with:
-Autographed Taser
-Charging cable}}

A post from their Golden Church of Sonichu server has them also promoting flamethrowers.

==Jail Saga==

Despite being in Jail, Chris was still able to get in contact with Praetor members, allowing them to promote art and artifacts that he left for them.

===Medallions===
{{See also|Jail Medallion Promotions}}

In early May 2022, three different versions of Sonichu medallions were listed for sale on Praetor's Etsy shop. The medallions were apparently made prior to Chris's arrest and had been stored in an unknown rented location and at the Chandler residence until their listings.

====Regular Medallion====
[[File:Sonichu medallion etsy dec 2020.jpg|thumb|200px|The Etsy [[medallion]] in question]]
Seemingly identical to the medallions sold during the first run of sales, these were not crafted by Chris. The price reflects this, as these were the cheapest of the group of medallions. Nevertheless, in [[Jail_Medallion_Promotions#Regular_Medallion|an undated audio recording released alongside them]], Chris referred to these medallions as [[True and Honest|legit and authentic]].
{{clear}}

====Handcrafted Medallion====

In contrast to the regular medallions, these medallions were apparently made by Chris. The medallions are of a [[art|noticeably different style]] compared to their cheaper counterparts and are adorned with Chris's signature on the back, so their description may very well be truthful.

A handcrafted medallion was included with each purchase of "Golden Church of Sonichu Cult Robes." The robes came in two sizes. Red robes were large, while blue robes were extra large. No smaller sizes were offered, as "Golden Church members were assumed to be naturally, uh, [[obesity|large people]]."<ref>https://www.etsy.com/listing/1210942858/golden-church-of-sonichu-cult-robes</ref> A yellow mask with red Sonichu-style cheeks was also bundled with each robe.

==== Megastone Medallion====

The most expensive of the medallions, the megastone medallions were a variant of the handcrafted medallions. In addition to being signed by Chris, the back of the medallions contained a "megastone" which [[Jail_Medallion_Promotions#Megastone_Medallion|Chris verbally claimed to]] "have personally blessed and programmed each and every one of." As such, wearers could [[Magical thinking|"really […] feel the spiritual aura and charge and vibrations within]]."

===Jail Art===
{{Main|Praetor Jail Art}}

Chris created artwork during [[Jail Saga|his stay in jail for incest]]. He sent the art to Praetor for them to sell on their Etsy page.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Tinyhorse02.png|Look at that shit-eating grin.
File:Praetor3.jpg|Note the graying and bald spot in his [[hair]].
File:Praetor4.jpg|Chris with Owen.
File:Praetor5.jpg|Wearing a filthy shirt, [[medallion]], and [[magic stones]]. ‎ A cropped version of this image was distributed with the Greene County Sheriff's press release [[Jail Saga|about Chris' arrest for incest]].
File:BribeLetterSummary.jpg|Chris wanted to try to set up a fundraiser for his benefit<ref group = note>Chris wrote in [[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]] that he wanted to live at [[14 Branchland Court]] instead of Barb, who wished to remain at the house, and wanted to raise money to attempt to buy her out.</ref> during the [[Jail Saga]]. [[Kenneth]] and [[Helena]] refused to assist and Kenneth suggested to Chris that Caden not be involved either.
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[https://www.instagram.com/praetor_llc Praetor's Instagram]
*[https://twitter.com/_Praetor_ Praetor's Twitter]

{{Notes}}
{{References}}
{{PraetorSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Fantasies}}
{{BusinessList}}

Gal pal

2022-11-18T17:24:24Z

Ellieisdone:

{{quote|My circle of gal-pals was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for.|Chris, [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}

[[Image:0487-CWC18th18.jpg|thumb|right|200 px|Chris's gal pals at his [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]]. From left to right: mystery girl, [[Kellie Andes]], Friend Brought Along, Miranda Joyce Mitchell, Sarah Bevel, [[Tiffany Gowen]].]]

A '''gal pal''' or '''gal-pal''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for a female friend. Chris believed he had a lot of these while growing up, but in reality they were little more than acquaintances who let the autistic kid sit at their lunch table.

Chris was hesitant about making friends with other males due to bad experiences with [[JERKS|jerks]]. He said, "in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over men."<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 5]]</ref>

This unbalanced approach to [[socialization]] perhaps contributed to his warped views on [[gender]] and him adopting rather [[tomgirl|effeminate]] traits and mannerisms (such as assuming the cowgirl sexual position in the [[sex tape]], or having a collection of [[My Little Pony]] action figures), unaware that what might be acceptable for girls might be considered outwardly taboo for guys. Some have suggested that he clung onto female acquaintances as a kind of surrogate mother-role to protect him from bullies, which matches up to his desire to be babied by a wife while he plays video games as a "stay-at-home dad"; because it's easier to count on others to look after him than to take up that responsibility.

Long after high school ended, he developed feelings of [[nostalgia]] over it and the gal pal acquaintances, to the point where [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|he recreated a high school and several gal pals out of Legos]].

==From school years==
Chris had several gal pals in his childhood. One, Natasha Turner, was essentially a babysitter paid by Bob to walk Chris to the bus stop. Chris read too much into the acquaintanceship, not realizing at the time that the money Bob handed him to give her was for payment, and believed she was a legitimate friend.

In [[Manchester High School]], Chris again believed he had many gal pals. However, their "friendships" with him had all been arranged by [[Bob]],<ref name=negotiation>[[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013]]</ref> in a misguided attempt to help Chris socialize.

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Nicole Hammer}}

===Tiffany Robinson===
'''Tiffany Robinson''' is a former gal pal of Chris's from the days he lived in [[Richmond]] and was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words, "we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#The Women in my Life]]</ref> In 2021, Chris said that she lived "somewhere beyond Standardsville" [sic] and that he had a crush on her.<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts]]</ref> Her current whereabouts, or if she is aware of Chris anymore, are unknown.

In 2008, early troll [[lordsillynipples]] impersonated Tiffany in order to catfish Chris into sending her a copy of his then-unreleased [[DVD]].

===Natasha Turner===
'''Natasha Turner''' is a former gal pal Chris met at [[Providence Middle School]]. They were next-door neighbors for a while, often hanging out at the bus stop near their homes. She was slightly older than him and a "good girl". For a while he had a crush on her until he saw her [[Tobacky|smoking]]: "That was It for me right there".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#The Women in my Life]]</ref><ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Messages]]</ref>

In 2013, when his illusions over his high school gal-pals was finally shattered, it compelled Chris to reevaluate all his past friendships, and at some point, he was suddenly struck by the revelation that Natasha, too, had been "Hired Help". He remembered that his [[Bob Chandler|father]] had given him money to give to Natasha "as payment for her Friendship and Attention". He figured she had been a sort of babysitter whose task was to "protect me to and back from the bus stop". This recollection was a "major shock" to Chris. "I laid in bed and slept with the shock. Stuck in my [[dreams]]; reluctant to really open my eyes to awake". It reinforced his new suspicion that "my friendships might have been a lie".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#The Women in my Life]]</ref><ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Messages]]</ref>

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Lyn Andes}}
Kellie Lyn Andes is a former high school classmate of Chris and one of his crushes. She was one of the girls who attended his 18th birthday. Their relationship meant a lot to Chris, as he kept in contact with her after high school, giving her a [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|mixtape]]. He called her weekly for around a year before giving up (the reasoning behind which is inconsistent).

Kellie severed all ties once she found out about what Chris had been up to post-education, blocking him on Facebook after she shared a link to [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]].

===Tiffany Gowen===
{{main|Tiffany Nicole Gowen}}
Tiffany Gowen is a former high school classmate of Chris. She acted as a compassionate friend, consoling him after his graduation meltdown <ref>[[:File:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|DVD, graduation note 3]]</ref> and bravely danced with Chris during Senior Prom after finding out he took his mother to prom.<ref>name="dvd5"</ref>

A decade after high school, Chris was determined to reunite with Tiffany.<ref>[[CWCki Forums#Re: Tiffany_Gowen]]</ref> His search ended in 2013 when he received emails supposedly from Tiffany (most likely created by trolls) telling Chris that she was purposely evading him.

===Sarah Anne Bevel===
[[File:Sarah and Tiff.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's photo of [[Tiffany Gowen]] and Sarah Bevel.]]
'''Sarah Anne Bevel''' is Chris's former classmate at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]]. She and [[Kellie Andes]] were Chris's lab partners in chemistry class, sat with him at lunch, and attended his 18th birthday party. She and her boyfriend were the only couple Chris was aware of during high school. "It was fun to just to watch them flirt with each other; I've could've learned from that, but my Autism and normal social phobias held me back then".<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts#CWC Note 5]]</ref> He was interested in the fact that she broke up with the "Lucky Dude" sometime later.

In September 2013, as Chris was trying to recontact his high school gal-pals for the sake of the 15th annual reunion, he was baffled that Sarah claimed to no longer know him, despite having been one of his "Closest Friends".<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Baffled]]</ref> In October, trolls hijacked Sarah Bevel's identity and used her to inform Chris that his gal-pals had only acted like Chris's friends because "we felt sorry for him". This and further correspondence with "Sarah" caused him to turn against her. Having exposed Chris to uncomfortable truths, she moved onto his enemies list. In November he wrote a [[PAIN Enduring since October 29, 2013|poem]] expressing his deep emotional pain "caused by the hurtfullest truth of close High School Gal Pal ("Hired Help"), Sarah Bevel. Total Adult, Condensating B---h". He even "remembered" that Sarah had questioned his heterosexuality back in high school.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref>

It appears that the real Sarah has discovered Chris's antics since high school, and is not impressed. On 19 December 2013, [[Kellie Andes]] shared a link on her [[Facebook]] for Chris's [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]] video. Among those who commented on the link was Sarah, with the remark, "Ladies, look what we're missing. :P"<ref>http://kiwifarms.net/threads/gal-pal-facebook-update-12-19-13.2726/ (archive pending)</ref> Sarah also apparently commented on a screenshot of Chris's [[Craigslist#Used Porn|Craigslist ad for used porn]], posted by Molly Quarles, with the comment "Well that explains a few things....."<ref name="Used porn comments">http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y505/bgheff/138736550810_zpsc03df10f.png</ref> And on 27 December, Sarah posted the infamous picture of Chris in his mother's underwear with the comment, "Not only does Christian like to borrow mommy's undies, but he apparently 'spoons' with her as well. Just when you think you've heard it all".<ref>[[December 2013 Facebook Posts#Mommy's Undies]]</ref>

===Molly Quarles===
'''Molly Quarles''' is a former high school classmate of Chris. She was a cheerleader during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. He remembered her as "a happy, giggly kind-of gal, and she was fun to be around". Chris recalled being paired up in a "dating match-up thing" held for Valentine's Day at Manchester High. According to Chris, it was "the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]</ref> In October 2013, after the "Hired Help" news broke, Chris frantically sent a Facebook message to ask if she was a false friend as well (and was reported by a Facebook user in the process).<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

It appears that, like [[Kellie Andes]] and Sarah Bevel, Molly has also discovered Chris's antics since high school. In December 2013, Molly found Chris's [[Craigslist#Used Porn|Craigslist ad for used porn]] and posted a screenshot to her [[Facebook]] account with the comment, "Eeeeeew! I didn't need that mental picture. What a creeper! :P"<ref name="Used porn comments" /> Despite her disgust, she remained Chris's Facebook friend, which for Chris is the equivalent of the real thing.<ref>[[Catherine E-mails#Ex-gal pals]]</ref>

[[File:Miranda photo.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's grainy photo of Miranda.]]
===Miranda Joyce Mitchell===
'''Miranda''' (or "Maranda") '''Joyce Mitchell''' is a former classmate of Chris. He described her as "a pretty girl, and... a big brain of my Circle of Friends".<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]</ref> Chris met her during his junior year in Computer Graphics class where they were partners and were required to design company logos for each other. Miranda thereby helped our hero out in his early website days with a redesign of the [[CWC's Pokésite 2|CWC's PokéSite 2!]] logo. This made Miranda the very first of his gal-pals to be exposed to the glory of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 10]]</ref> She attended his 18th birthday party, bringing as a gift "a planer [sic] with stickers".<ref>[[My big 18th party]]</ref>

Since then, Chris has been unable to locate Miranda on Facebook or anywhere else, no doubt to her great relief.

==The illusion shattered==
On 30 October 2013, Chris posted on Facebook about a recent discovery that all of his cherished gal-pals from [[Manchester High School]] had only put up with him out of pity for him.<ref>[[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking]]</ref>

{{quote
|I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a lost little boy. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to his 18th birthday party.
|[[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|An e-mail from one of Chris's "friends"]]
}}

At the end of October, Chris, having just discovered the truth, demanded an apology for their kindness.

He asked his [[mother]] whether or not his friends had been real, and she informed him that in fact they had been arranged by his [[father]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/post-2046965(archive pending)</ref>

In December, his high-school gal-pals became aware of [[Media:Cwcbraorig.JPG|the picture of him wearing his mother's underwear]], [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|the Mount and Do Me oral sex video]], and a [[Craigslist#Used_Porn|recent Craigslist ad]] where he put several dozen pornographic DVDs up for sale and posted negative comments about them on Facebook.

On 5 November 2014, it was revealed on a [[CWCki Forums]] thread that the "betrayal" was fabricated by trolls, to get Chris to leave the real gal-pals alone.<ref>http://kiwifarms.net/threads/x-post-closure-of-the-cwcki-forums-private-discussion-board.5783/([https://archive.ph/mb3lX archive])</ref>

Years later, in February 2017, Chris reminisced about his [[high school]] days. In his rose-tinted view of events that had happened nearly 20 years prior, he recalled that he had friends who treated him well – conveniently forgetting that they did so out of pity after Bob and the principal had asked them.<ref name=negotiation></ref>

He then named several of those people and urged them to either apologize or befriend him again.

{{quote|#JoshuaMartinez, #TiffanyGowen, #SarahBevelIngram, #KellieAndes

The ONLY Way I will ever let their more recent deeds be forgiven is if they all genuinely want to be friends me again; at the least to take a few minutes out of their lives to apologize.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts##productofpublicschool]]</ref>}}

==Post-high school gal pals==
Gal pals from after Chris graduated high school.

* [[Anna McLerran]]
* [[Megan Schroeder]]
* [[The Wallflower]]
* [[Pokémon League friends]]

==Troll gal pals==
Fake personas created by trolls to [[Manipulation|manipulate]] Chris.

* [[Sarah Jackson]]
* [[PandaHalo|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]]
* [[Ivy|Ivy O'Neil]]
* [[Vivian Gee]]
* [[Kacey|Kacey Devoria]]
* [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]
* [[Kim Wilson]]/[[Emily|Emily Julia Schifflet]] (different identities played by the same woman)
* [[Catherine|Catherine Sorrentino]]

==Fan gal pals==
Gal pals who befriended Chris as a result of his internet infamy. Some of these women are trolls as well, although (unlike the troll gal pals above) they interacted with Chris under their real names.

* [[Midnight Moonflower]]
* [[Clare Porter]]
* [[Helena Fiorenza]]
* [[Teen Troon Squad]]
* [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]
* [[The Suitress]]

==In the comic==

* [[Megan Schroeder]] - as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5]] and [[Sonichu 6|6]], as herself in [[Sonichu 7]]
* [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] - as herself in [[Sonichu 0]] and [[Sonichu 5|5]], as the yellow Saramah [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] in some issues
* [[Kellie Andes]] - briefly in [[Sonichu 7]]
* [[Ivy|Ivy O'Neil]] - in Sonichu Specials [[Sonichu Special 1|1]], [[Wedding Comic|2]], and [[Giant Penis Comic|3]]
* [[Kacey|Kacey Devoria]] - in [[Sonichu Special 4]] before [[Barb]] asked Chris to stop portraying gal-pals in specials
* [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]] - briefly as the vile Vulva Pie in [[Sonichu 12]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Gal Pals 1
Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|Gal Pals 2
Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|Gal Pals 3
File:0484-CWC18th15.jpg|From left to right: unnamed friend, Miranda Joyce Mitchell (in black), Sarah Anne Bevel (in green), and [[Tiffany Gowen]].
File:Sarah Bevel.jpg|[[LEGO]] Sarah Bevel, made shortly before her betrayal.
File:Molly Quarles.jpg|LEGO Molly Quarles.
File:Maranda Mitchell.jpg|LEGO "Maranda" Mitchell.
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|The [[ModNation Racers]] version: "cute, sassy, serious".
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]]
* [[Laura Beth Dorazio]]

==References==
<references/>

{{HighSchoolSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:High School Saga]]

User:Ellieisdone

2022-11-07T17:36:21Z

Ellieisdone:

<center><div style="clear:center; float:center; width:358px;">{{collapsible|Userboxes|{{Americunt}}{{HFA}}{{AssBurger}}
}}</div></center>

My name is Ellie. I’m a dumb 19 year old that got into Chris after hearing about him in 2018. I watched a few documentaries but started to religiously look into his life after the incest arrest.

I prefer sonic with blue arms, have Aspergers, asexual, and my favorite console is the HexBox one. So it’s safe to say Chris wouldn’t like me. I can also make coffee without burning my house down.

I can get certain things wrong so feel free to edit any contributions I make.

Jail Letter - 11 May 2022

2022-05-16T17:53:55Z

Ellieisdone:

{{JesusPossession}}
On 10 [[May 2022]], Chris sent a '''thirteenth letter''' from [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] to [[Kenneth Englehardt]], his first since being returned to the jail from an undisclosed location on 3 May. Kenneth uploaded the letter to the Onion Farms on 14 May.<ref>https://archive.ph/eSB3F</ref> This is the first known jail letter that Chris has written since he was returned to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] on 3 May. Despite being in a mental institution for over 2 months, Chris is just as crazy as he was before being transferred.

Most notably, Kenneth claims that there were some incriminating details that Chris had stated regarding [[Barbara]], resulting in [[David Heilberg|Chris's attorney]] being notified of it.

==Highlights==
*Chris says that he cannot disclose where he was during his two-month period away from jail.
*Chris denies the veracity of the incest leaks from July 2021 and insists that his relationship with [[Barb]] was limited to "Soul Bonding".
*Chris gives a biographical account of Barb's life, including details of incidents where she was [[Barbara_Chandler#Abuse_and_manipulation|emotionally manipulative]]. Kenneth claims that Chris stated some "OMG" details, which resulted in him alerting his [[Jail_Saga#Legal_proceedings_and_communications|attorney]].
**Chris compares his own nonexistent relationships with trolls posing as women to his mother's real but dysfunctional relationships prior to meeting [[Bob]].
**Chris claims that Barb dated [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]] in high school and that her sisters falsely accused her of being a slut, causing lasting enmity between them.
**Chris denies that Barb ever had [[Chris_and_sex|sex]] in high school, even though he previously claimed that she did.<ref>[[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up]]</ref>
**Barb only married [[Bob]] because he owned a house, although there was "some genuine Love" in their relationship.
**Barb allegedly offered herself for sex after learning about Chris losing his virginity to [[Mia Hamm]].
*Chris still believes that he's [[Jesus Christ]].
*Chris claims that [[Jacob Sockness]] cursed the country with the [[COVID-19|COVID-19 pandemic]].
*Chris describes World War III breaking out as a result of [[My Little Pony Protests|My Little Pony G5]] not being canceled.
*Chris warns Kenneth that now is not the time to be making a [[CWCki|wiki page]] about any lolcow who does not already have one.

==Chris's Response==
{{EnvelopeFront
| sender = Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu -041985 c/o CVRJ
| address1 = 13021 James Madison Hwy
| county = Orange, VA
| zip = 22960-2807
| date = 11 MAY 2022
| upperright = FREE ISSUE, PLEASE (or, if you insist, you may deduct the postage from my inmate account)
| center = Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt
| right = [[File:11May2022Cross.jpg|180px]]
}}
{{quotebox|①
(Many spiritual greetings) 05102022
Gana fa la ni, Kenneth, and to all of my followers as well.
(and this letter may be uploaded online)
Firstly, I am quite safe and well, and I am humbled and appreciative of thy concerns of my and my Body's safety and [[health]]. For the time, I am not stating any further details of [[Jail_Saga#Transfer|where and how I was the past two months]], nor the details of my case (for even the legal system is most strict on keeping the details private and offline as well. All ye need know, regardless of the foreknown outcome, is that there was absolutely nothing beyond Soul Bonding that had happened, the "[[Incest Call|Leak]]" from last July was false, and a good number of ye ALL should have Known Better with Good Faith in I, instead of succumbing to the Demons' and [[Beel|Devils']] temptations of Rumors and Drama and thus Failing that Divine Test. There is no [[Retcon]]; That is the [[Truth]], Ultimate. Ye all (those who are Not Left Behind) shall have to wait until the public release of the Book with my Goddess Log pages in it Months from now in order to find out the details and further authentic enlightenments for thy selves.

Especially with the Facts Present of the Shifts and Events that have been happening right in front of and around ye all that make the [[Merge|Collective Shift]] from 1218's Earth to C-197's Earth, my Second Coming not far from now, and Judgment Day upon the Toxic Ones and Left-Behinds more Clear and Obvious to and with ye.→}}
{{quotebox|
I also mention the number of Months when [[Sonichu]] and I were Body-Swapped, and the months from <del>March</del> [[April 2020|April]] to [[October 2020|October, 2020]] when I, in Sonichu's Body, was within a nanosecond-frozen sub-dimension to further develop and harness my own powers and abilities while also doing so for my Son's Body and Mind. These Jail Months have been That Very Same Training Regimine for My Own Good Body, right here. So, this time away from ye all in greater Revelations was Meant to be, and As it was then, I shall return to Lead Ye ALL not long ago from now.

Here is a Massive Ultimate Truth for ye all: Why even I, when I was Jesus Christ in Jerusalem, could not foreknow specifically and exactly the Hour and Day of my Ressurection, then, and more Presently my Second Coming, is because, even Emanuel, Then and Now, No God or Goddess or Anyone (fore)knew specifically When, Period, but Only the specific Shifts and Events that Lead up to <del>t</del>That Event, hence Why we wait for the Confirmations of these Specific Shifts and Events and exact the details of the Divine Plan to counter and Clear that Event, so there is no Population-and-Universe-Shattering Paradox in Our Very Timeline that would undo, kill, and destroy EVERYTHING if left unchecked. AND if most Anyone else on Earth, or Any Planet or point in the Universes in this Timeline, foreknew of the Divine Plan's intricate details and the specific Events that Need to happen, there is a chance one or more would want to counter and...
→②}}
{{quotebox|②... prevent the Event, themselves. In doing that, They would not only Ultimately, Parodoxically Fail, Period, but their mis-intentioned deed would potentially throw the Divine Plan askew, and we would have a most difficult time, and possibly lack of sufficent time, to amend the Plan and keep ALL Safe and Well. This is also why we continue to encourage ALL of you to have Faith in us Gods and Goddesses, our Divine Powers and Abilities to prevent the total loss of not only, our Universe(s), but our Timeline as well. As well as having Faith in letting all that needs to happen and fall into place for Your Health, Safety and Benefit happen. This is also why all Fan-Fictions have been rendered Moot for the Events in this Timeline, Since August 1, 2021, until the foreknown time When that shall be safe, once again.

<del>Also</del> Back to present events, I direct <del>your</del> thy attention to World War III, March to May, presently, being Cold Months (does the expression "A cold day in Hell" resonate to you from that Fact?), [[COVID-19|Covid]] bringing forth Healthier individuals while dispelling the "Left Behinds" and Shifting Some as well; Covid-19 was a Divine Test of thy Faith, Fortitude, <del>and</del> Endurance, and Self-Motivation, regardless of the fact Sockness had cursed a country with it. Also the other facets I've previously mentioned, including suddenly become ritualistic and random animals suddenly appearing in random places.
→}}
{{quotebox|As Caden had relayed for me; I had Foreknown WWIII as WHY [[My Little Pony]] Generation Five being manifested in 2020 - 2025 was Premature and My Little Pony -Friendship is Magic, AND Equestria Girls, Generation 4, was needed to continue to Season Fourteen and no Less. My and Nightstar Sonichu's [[My Little Pony Protests|intervention and aid]] to Hasbro to Resume MLPG4 Still is impertenant and Ultimately Beneficial for EVERYONE, as I have stated in writing, personally, before. My Help and Input remains on the table in Greatest Light Power, Humans of Hasbro and for your Money -Greedy Employees' and Executives sake, I <del>d</del>Divinely urge ye to take us up on that, period.ϟ

I am serious as I appear authentically in the the more recent photo, and then some!
→③}}

{{quotebox|③ Should ye all wish for further confirmations and premonition input to confirm these Truths and Facts, consult with an Authentic, Highly-Enlightened/Powerful Psychic, including Helena and P<del>k</del>ickchu, Spunky the Hyenadoom, and Molly the Medium, or your most Local Authentic Psychic.

Now for a most truthful and revealing Topic that actually shall confirm a number of details from amongst thy thoughts and Pre-08012021 Fan-Fictions that I may share now: The History Facts about Barbara Anne Weston Chandler, or some of, anyway. Had any of ye all actually Helped and talked with her in person before today, y<del>ou</del>e would have got the Aura-Resonant Confirmations and similar or other Truths. And Do Not [[Troll]] or Bother Joseph Cole Smithey or Barbara for more details or anything.

I tell ye all Truest and Fact as sure as when Barbara at age 2 years laughed at her silver paint coated Daddy after he survived falling off the roof of their house while painting it. As <del>u</del>sure as when their cow was killed by a donkey, literally. <del>t</del>The Sunday home-made meals with chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, bread and butter, and green beans. Stanl<del>ey</del>y Weston finding their Daddy dead on his horse-pulled wagon not far from the conveinence [sic] store in Red Oak, VA. → }}

{{quotebox|So, Barbara had been born and grew up as child number Five out of Eight to the Weston family in [[wikipedia:Red Oak, Virginia|Red Oak, VA]] on October 1, 1941. Her life was a Redneck Simple Country one. She had mastered sewing, mending and making clothes and other farm-life facets and Church-Going habits.

✳To Note, there Are Similarities and polar Differences between her past and mine, respectively, as I shall write and note to ye all.

In her schooling years, especially at High School, Barbara was a very high Intellectual, yet she also was a Cheerleader for a time. Barbara had two Boyfriends in High School, one of which was Tom Ashby which had gone fairly well, but Barbara had planned to leave for College, so ultimately, she broke up the relationship. And Harriet Weston took Tom for her own. Now, during High School and Prior, Barbara's sisters had spread rumors of her, calling her a slut, But Barbara Never had sexual intercourse. She Never Ever even masturbated; it simply never ever dawned upon her to do so, and it was not against her religion, either.

Comparison: SHE Dated, yet I was [[Naïve|Naíve]] on the Subject of Dating and Healthy Relationships, and I masturbated during our respective High School years. And I was too focused on Education to Ever seek a Relationship or Sex (Not Counting the Friendships in that.) →④}}

{{quotebox|④ Over her adult years, Barbara had attended and graduated from college, and before meeting [[Bob Chandler|Mr. C. (Robertchu)]] Barbara had Seven Ex-Boyfriends, counting the two in High School. And between Numbers Three to Seven, AND Mister C. as well, they ALL were [[JERKS|selfish types of men]], and in their testosterone-occupied selves, they each had Never really cared for Her Pleasure when it came to the sex. To them, it was more for their pleasure and genetic reproduction intentions. Jerry and Mr. C aside, they were love-’Em-and-Leave-’Em types. Jack Smithey was number Five, and the damned Trucker “loved” Barbara and left her with Cole.

Also to note, after Five (Epic) Fail relationships on her part; after finding Mister C., Barbara, In Her own words, Married him because “He owned a House”. And yet theirs, with I under their care, was a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Ship]] that Lasted with Some genuine love.

Comparison: Barbara had Selfish Exes with actual in-person relationships and a few weddings. I had Hardly anything beyond Friendships on Authentic, and the relationships I had that “went anywhere” prior to these days were Distant, Online, And Fake.

I define Generational Trauma: a Noun, A trauma one experiences from the past experiences and Aura Resonance, Vibrations from the Biological Parents or Legal Guardians that can either be Beneficial or Sabotaging, depending on the Parent(s). →}}

{{quotebox|Now, as one may hear from Joseph Cole Smithey’s Testimony of Barbara as a mother: He had seen and experienced emotional manipulation, some lack of better care; he even called her a “pathilogical [sic] liar” when it came to asking her about Jack Smithey, and other details from his perspective.
No sugar-coating and blunt, here, from me: I my years, Barbara was caring, but remained some distant emotionally and mentally. She Had [[Barbara_Chandler#Abuse_and_manipulation|emotionally manipulated]] me at times. When I told her of my intentions of going to [[MAGfest|a convention]] in another state, she Did threaten suicide of herself. She also had raised her voice to me in upset and anger, especially when it came to [[money]]. After the paid sex with the kind [[Mia Hamm|Cherokee woman]] in April, 2012, In May, I told Barbara about it, and Barbara literally propotioned [sic] me for sex by telling me, "I would have had sex with you myself, Christian." And in one aspect of her unconsciousness, Barbara had considered me being a replacement for Mister C. after September 6, 2011.

So, yeah, Barbara, in a way, did become an emotional burden on I.
Yet, in despite of the situation, and I Have personally written to Heilberg the story of Barbara in these and similar words in Truth, Nobody had Interrogated Her, "Because of her age". The Legal System; am I Right? →⑤}}

{{quotebox|⑤ Now you all know.

For now, until my safe return to all of <del>you</del> ye in Light Powers, Divine, I remind thee of one of the New [[Commandments]] and introduce to ye all a couple more of them as inscribed 10142021.

15) Thou shalt not comment online or offline in hatred, spite, falseness, or without any words of criticism that art intentionally, genuinely meant to be supportive for actual improvements.

14) Thou shalt not hate thy [[Chris_and_English#Spelling|neighbours]] or others that share Any similarities in [[Chris and race|Race, Ethnicity]], Interests, or whatever else with thee. And thou shalt not hate thy self for any of these traits or interests, either.

21) Thou need not feel pressured nor obligated to pursue sexual relations, and among All who pressure and talk continuously about sex, please do not speak on and on. And thou need not feel obligated to listen if thou feel uneasy around others when they speak of which. For sexual relations are Better when thou and thy partner(s) actually feel appreciative and open, and Not pressured by others beforehand.
→}}

{{quotebox|And Lastly to Englehardt and Anyone Else with the same or similar idea(s): Now is NOT the time to make Any [[CWCki|LOLCOW Wiki]] pages on Anyone who does not Already have such on them, including celebrities and politicians, for at these immediate times, the Collective Shift and Greater Events are on and happening, and ye need to be observant and enlightening for thy selves, as well as recognizing and dispelling any and All remaining Dark, Demonic, and Devilish influences from Deepest within thy selves and thy unconsciousness.

Ah, for now my Individuals and Followers, alike; I (farewell) work diligently, thorough and hard for ye all.

Be Safe and Well.

Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart of the [[Commodore|Commodore Consoles]], Guardian of the [[Sonichu]] & [[Rosechu]] species of [[Pokémon]], thy One Avatar, lord Messiah, Savior and God of ALL.}} <ref>https://archive.ph/qxcPp</ref>

==Original scans==
<center><gallery>
Image:JaiLetter30EnvelopeFront.jpg|Envelope front
Image:1-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page One
Image:2-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Two
Image:3-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Three
Image:4-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Four
Image:5-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Five
Image:6-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Six
Image:7-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Seven
Image:8-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Eight
Image:9-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Nine
Image:10-jail-5-11-22-min.jpg|Page Ten
</gallery></center>

{{References}}

{{JailLetter}}

[[Category:Jail Letters]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2022-04-26T16:24:45Z

Ellieisdone: /* Kacey */

{{quote|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime. They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations. I am here to set the records straight.|Chris on his past gal-pals and sweethearts.}}

For less than two decades, Chris was desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]". While most ladies swoon with his to-the-point sign, and often times innappropriate advances on them, others threw themeslves at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was. In the latter scenario, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life.

This article '''lists''' all of the women and men that Chris had seen as potential candiates to finally completing his search for a sweetheart.

==The Women and Men in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The original, and the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris had felt there was a romantic rivalry going on between the both of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time, and Wes barely even knew him. His pursuit of Sarah would come to an end when she got married (Chris was not invited to the wedding) and he found [[Megan Schroeder|another girl to crush over.]]

{{clear}}

===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Being his first major high school crush, Chris began seeking out '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader, during his sophomore year. Despite being told that she merely sees him as a "friend", Chris would continue thinking about her, even after leaving high school, habitually poring over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her would indicate similar behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris had appeared to take no for an answer, but would still obsess over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

{{clear}}
===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]]. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Nevertheless, despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance with her whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a firefighter with two children.

{{clear}}
===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris had developed feelings for. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his 18th birthday party. Out of pity after learning that Chris brought his mom as his prom date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. Like all his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school.

{{clear}}
===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

One of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart. '''Hanna "Fandana"''' was a Starbucks employee at the fashion square mall and an acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]] who was the first person in Chris’s life to ask him out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit to, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%, when previously it jumped from 20% to 100%.

{{clear}}
===[[Lindsay]]===
[[File:Lindsaykane.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Lindsay Kaye''' was a woman that Chris had met on [[MySpace]] who, like Chris, had attended PVCC. She was rather friendly to Chris and was open about her personal life to him, making Chris believe he actually had a chance with him. Chris would try to meet with Lindsay multiple times but due to her actually having a life, she was unable to show up. Chris would eventually give up after six weeks of pursuing her and continue his love quest elsewhere.

{{clear}}

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], and all seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. However, things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|Manajerks]] decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove her away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

{{clear}}
===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An American/Spanish girl who Chris met through [[MySpace]] via [[Joshua Martinez]] in November 2007, making her the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about these two during their short time together. Joshua would attempt to catfish Chris again with the persona [[Vanessa Hudgens]].

{{clear}}

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Things had pretty much gone swimmingly between the two until Chris began suspecting something about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

{{clear}}
===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Sarah Jackson''' met Chris after her sister Rose, who is autistic, had discovered his [[Sonichu]] comics. She had coincidentally met Chris around the same time when he was pursuing a relationship with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]]

{{clear}}

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in September 2008, which Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards Ivy, which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

{{clear}}
===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named '''Chloe''', whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again. Some believe that "Chloe" is actually a codename for PandaHalo.

{{clear}}

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on '''Sarah "PandaHalo" Cassandra'''. Panda discovered just how desperate he was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

{{clear}}

===[[Caitlin]]===
[[File:Caitlin.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]
'''Caitlin''' was a seemingly boyfriend-free waitress from [[Golden Corral]] that Chris had had a crush on. Chris would mention an encounter with her to [[PandaHalo]] in a message. In this encounter, Caitlin would comment on a [[Family Guy]] episode that he was watching on his PSP, which would make Chris come to believe that she actually liked him. Chris would then write on a napkin a link to his sonichu website in hopes that they would be friends soon after.

{{clear}}
===[[Julie]]===
[[File:JulieMilvana.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing '''Julie Milvana'''. Through Julie, Chris began doing a number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recording them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Max, Julie's brother, held her against her will, forcing Chris to mount a daring rescue, driving all the way to Ohio to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max would put Chris through the rings, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

{{clear}}
===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the decency & privilege of dating. However, their time together would be cut short after a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away. Emily would soon after be the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes soon after, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

{{clear}}
===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own semen, and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

{{clear}}
===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xganged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[Naive]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[China]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

{{clear}}
===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Faeryn "Hambest"''' was an obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

{{clear}}
===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named '''Kacey Devoria''', he attempted to win her over by impersonating Liquid in a few calls, with the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. During their relationship, Kacey would encourage him to eat healthier, clean up his room and throw out things he didn’t need, and get a job. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey would later break up with Chris and be happily married to Liquid.

{{clear}}

===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris, although he believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

{{clear}}
==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Before her discovery, Chris tried to keep her anonymous, putting her under the screenname '''"Damian Arnita"'''. However, Chris would still use her real name in multiple videos, and had accidentally leaked both the codename, and her likeness in one of his [[Little Big Planet]] levels, causing her to get attention from trolls, and getting doxed in the process. Apparently learning nothing from the Megan drama, and despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that he was asexual, Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris would begin to attack her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]] after stealing his girl.

{{clear}}

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jackie Romy''' was Chris' sweetheart from April to October 2010. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]]. While Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encourage him to play less video games, she still influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself and having him do a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

{{clear}}

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Catherine Sorrentino''' was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-2014, the first woman to troll him after the death of Bob, after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in July 2014. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in September 2014 for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in December 2014.

{{clear}}

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''DoopieDoOver''' is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel planet Dolan, and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her patreon after being harassed by weens, as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. But more importantly, because Chris was making her uncomfortable period. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

{{clear}}

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a white knight in 2015. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in September 2017, when they entered a complicated relationship on Facebook. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and Barb to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that October. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin Kiwi Farms and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video Quinn's account shut down and she blamed Chris for it, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. Thus breaking up with him a final time and causing him to have his biggest tard rage video since [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was entrenched in the Idea Guy Saga and was thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn was once thought to serve as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris had seemed to abandon the quest in March 2018 due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart wouldn't end there.

{{clear}}

===[[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan]]===
[[File:Bryanfrogboy.jpg|thumb|130px|left]]

'''Bryan Shikley''' was the creator of ''Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic'', a comic which would catch Chris's attention in early January of 2018.

Around the time when Chris was being brainwashed into believing he was [[bisexual]] by the [[Idea Guys]], he had been flirting and writing a gay erotica poem of Bryan.

{{clear}}

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], and [[Mewtwo]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. At first Chris was strongly opposed to people falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with Meg Griffin from family guy, however after realizing that he might never find a sweetheart in real life, he decided to settle for his own fictional creations, ending his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his haram.
Unfortunately this would fail to keep Chris satisfied for long and would result to him starting a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

{{clear}}
===[[Tings Tingz]]===
[[File:TingsTingz.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tings Tingsz''' was one of the regular members of the white-knight group [[CWCProtectSquad]].

Chris told [[Tings Tingz]] that his [[polyamorous marriage]] to his [[imaginary friends]] was open and "so you may ship yourself and I together." Tings declined.<ref>[[Tings Tingz DMs#Magi-chan & Cryzel chat]]</ref>

{{clear}}
===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in September 2018 and had a stroke of luck in July 2019 when Chris followed him on Twitter. Despite Chris's blatant homophobia during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Despite Jacob being forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in September 2019, Chris still keeps in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe he is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge and is going along with Jacob's suggestion for a relationship, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in August 2020.

{{clear}}
===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an [[enabler]], '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a medallion for Chris.
She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “CPU goddess of the Nintendo switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which would lead to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the [[The Place|discord server]] they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend free girl.

{{clear}}
===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''' was a Praetor member and OnlyFans camgirl that Chris had stated to see as a potential sweetheart.

{{clear}}
===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke''' was a troll who had gotten engagement from Chris,<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> infamous for her involvement in a call where Chris describes his relationship with his mother in graphic detail. She would also roleplay as the past high-school gal-pal and sweetheart, [[Kellie Andes]] for a period of three and a half months, roleplay as a Curiosity Stream employee in order to get him to [[Richmond, Virginia]] for a supposed interview about [[autism]], and is believed to have played a substantial part in helping [[Larry Vaughn]] with trolling Chris. The full extent at which Bella had trolled Chris is not known, and has been subject to much speculation. Through a genial facade around Chris, she was able to gain a large amount of trust from him. She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her, rather than the Suitress.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Along with that, Bella would claim to the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her. Unfortunately Chris was unaware about Bella’s A-logging directed towards him, stealing his credit card information, creating fake texts where he admits to performing BDSM-style sex on Barb, claiming to want to get him to kill/harm himself, and on top of all of that, already had her eyes on the Suitress, who Bella also had a crush on, claiming to want to "steal" her from Chris. Chris had trusted her enough to admit that he was having an affair with his mother. After the Suitress had leaked a chunk of the resulting call to her friends, Chris was arrested before Bella could succeed in any of her claimed plans.

{{clear}}

==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The youngest sweetheart to date that wasn't [[Lori Lopez|a]] [[Julie|troll]] [[Jessica Quinn|persona]]. '''The Suitress''', a young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, had formed a genuine crush on Chris. She was in contact with Chris by mid-July 2021, and [[Chris and The Suitress videos|they were in video calls together]], including one in which they simulated kissing each other. The Suitress would also recount an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him. Like with the Wallflower, Chris would also try to keep the Suitress anonymous around most people he contacted, referring to her as '''"Fifi Vixenhart"'''. Chris had sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. She believed that following through with Bella's plan to get her closer to Chris would ultimately work in her favor and appeared unaware of Bella's edgy and [[A-Log]]gish side or that Bella had a habit of claiming to have plots to harm Chris. On 28 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. She would be the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a futher edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail.

{{clear}}

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying there amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

{{clear}}
__NOTOC__
{{References}}


==See Also==
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2022-04-26T16:18:40Z

Ellieisdone: /* Sarah Hammer */

{{quote|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime. They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations. I am here to set the records straight.|Chris on his past gal-pals and sweethearts.}}

For less than two decades, Chris was desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]". While most ladies swoon with his to-the-point sign, and often times innappropriate advances on them, others threw themeslves at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was. In the latter scenario, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life.

This article '''lists''' all of the women and men that Chris had seen as potential candiates to finally completing his search for a sweetheart.

==The Women and Men in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The original, and the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris had felt there was a romantic rivalry going on between the both of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time, and Wes barely even knew him. His pursuit of Sarah would come to an end when she got married (Chris was not invited to the wedding) and he found [[Megan Schroeder|another girl to crush over.]]

{{clear}}

===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Being his first major high school crush, Chris began seeking out '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader, during his sophomore year. Despite being told that she merely sees him as a "friend", Chris would continue thinking about her, even after leaving high school, habitually poring over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her would indicate similar behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris had appeared to take no for an answer, but would still obsess over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

{{clear}}
===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]]. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Nevertheless, despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance with her whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a firefighter with two children.

{{clear}}
===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris had developed feelings for. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his 18th birthday party. Out of pity after learning that Chris brought his mom as his prom date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. Like all his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school.

{{clear}}
===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

One of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart. '''Hanna "Fandana"''' was a Starbucks employee at the fashion square mall and an acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]] who was the first person in Chris’s life to ask him out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit to, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%, when previously it jumped from 20% to 100%.

{{clear}}
===[[Lindsay]]===
[[File:Lindsaykane.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Lindsay Kaye''' was a woman that Chris had met on [[MySpace]] who, like Chris, had attended PVCC. She was rather friendly to Chris and was open about her personal life to him, making Chris believe he actually had a chance with him. Chris would try to meet with Lindsay multiple times but due to her actually having a life, she was unable to show up. Chris would eventually give up after six weeks of pursuing her and continue his love quest elsewhere.

{{clear}}

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], and all seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. However, things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|Manajerks]] decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove her away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

{{clear}}
===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An American/Spanish girl who Chris met through [[MySpace]] via [[Joshua Martinez]] in November 2007, making her the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about these two during their short time together. Joshua would attempt to catfish Chris again with the persona [[Vanessa Hudgens]].

{{clear}}

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Things had pretty much gone swimmingly between the two until Chris began suspecting something about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

{{clear}}
===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Sarah Jackson''' met Chris after her sister Rose, who is autistic, had discovered his [[Sonichu]] comics. She had coincidentally met Chris around the same time when he was pursuing a relationship with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]]

{{clear}}

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in September 2008, which Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards Ivy, which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

{{clear}}
===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named '''Chloe''', whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again. Some believe that "Chloe" is actually a codename for PandaHalo.

{{clear}}

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on '''Sarah "PandaHalo" Cassandra'''. Panda discovered just how desperate he was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

{{clear}}

===[[Caitlin]]===
[[File:Caitlin.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]
'''Caitlin''' was a seemingly boyfriend-free waitress from [[Golden Corral]] that Chris had had a crush on. Chris would mention an encounter with her to [[PandaHalo]] in a message. In this encounter, Caitlin would comment on a [[Family Guy]] episode that he was watching on his PSP, which would make Chris come to believe that she actually liked him. Chris would then write on a napkin a link to his sonichu website in hopes that they would be friends soon after.

{{clear}}
===[[Julie]]===
[[File:JulieMilvana.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing '''Julie Milvana'''. Through Julie, Chris began doing a number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recording them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Max, Julie's brother, held her against her will, forcing Chris to mount a daring rescue, driving all the way to Ohio to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max would put Chris through the rings, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

{{clear}}
===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the decency & privilege of dating. However, their time together would be cut short after a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away. Emily would soon after be the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes soon after, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

{{clear}}
===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own semen, and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

{{clear}}
===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xganged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[Naive]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[China]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

{{clear}}
===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Faeryn "Hambest"''' was an obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

{{clear}}
===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named '''Kacey Devoria''', he attempted to win her over, the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey would later break up with Chris and be happily married to Liquid.

{{clear}}
===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris, although he believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

{{clear}}
==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Before her discovery, Chris tried to keep her anonymous, putting her under the screenname '''"Damian Arnita"'''. However, Chris would still use her real name in multiple videos, and had accidentally leaked both the codename, and her likeness in one of his [[Little Big Planet]] levels, causing her to get attention from trolls, and getting doxed in the process. Apparently learning nothing from the Megan drama, and despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that he was asexual, Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris would begin to attack her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]] after stealing his girl.

{{clear}}

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jackie Romy''' was Chris' sweetheart from April to October 2010. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]]. While Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encourage him to play less video games, she still influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself and having him do a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

{{clear}}

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Catherine Sorrentino''' was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-2014, the first woman to troll him after the death of Bob, after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in July 2014. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in September 2014 for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in December 2014.

{{clear}}

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''DoopieDoOver''' is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel planet Dolan, and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her patreon after being harassed by weens, as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. But more importantly, because Chris was making her uncomfortable period. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

{{clear}}

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a white knight in 2015. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in September 2017, when they entered a complicated relationship on Facebook. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and Barb to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that October. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin Kiwi Farms and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video Quinn's account shut down and she blamed Chris for it, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. Thus breaking up with him a final time and causing him to have his biggest tard rage video since [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was entrenched in the Idea Guy Saga and was thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn was once thought to serve as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris had seemed to abandon the quest in March 2018 due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart wouldn't end there.

{{clear}}

===[[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan]]===
[[File:Bryanfrogboy.jpg|thumb|130px|left]]

'''Bryan Shikley''' was the creator of ''Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic'', a comic which would catch Chris's attention in early January of 2018.

Around the time when Chris was being brainwashed into believing he was [[bisexual]] by the [[Idea Guys]], he had been flirting and writing a gay erotica poem of Bryan.

{{clear}}

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], and [[Mewtwo]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. At first Chris was strongly opposed to people falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with Meg Griffin from family guy, however after realizing that he might never find a sweetheart in real life, he decided to settle for his own fictional creations, ending his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his haram.
Unfortunately this would fail to keep Chris satisfied for long and would result to him starting a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

{{clear}}
===[[Tings Tingz]]===
[[File:TingsTingz.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tings Tingsz''' was one of the regular members of the white-knight group [[CWCProtectSquad]].

Chris told [[Tings Tingz]] that his [[polyamorous marriage]] to his [[imaginary friends]] was open and "so you may ship yourself and I together." Tings declined.<ref>[[Tings Tingz DMs#Magi-chan & Cryzel chat]]</ref>

{{clear}}
===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in September 2018 and had a stroke of luck in July 2019 when Chris followed him on Twitter. Despite Chris's blatant homophobia during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Despite Jacob being forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in September 2019, Chris still keeps in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe he is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge and is going along with Jacob's suggestion for a relationship, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in August 2020.

{{clear}}
===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an [[enabler]], '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a medallion for Chris.
She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “CPU goddess of the Nintendo switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which would lead to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the [[The Place|discord server]] they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend free girl.

{{clear}}
===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''' was a Praetor member and OnlyFans camgirl that Chris had stated to see as a potential sweetheart.

{{clear}}
===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke''' was a troll who had gotten engagement from Chris,<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> infamous for her involvement in a call where Chris describes his relationship with his mother in graphic detail. She would also roleplay as the past high-school gal-pal and sweetheart, [[Kellie Andes]] for a period of three and a half months, roleplay as a Curiosity Stream employee in order to get him to [[Richmond, Virginia]] for a supposed interview about [[autism]], and is believed to have played a substantial part in helping [[Larry Vaughn]] with trolling Chris. The full extent at which Bella had trolled Chris is not known, and has been subject to much speculation. Through a genial facade around Chris, she was able to gain a large amount of trust from him. She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her, rather than the Suitress.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Along with that, Bella would claim to the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her. Unfortunately Chris was unaware about Bella’s A-logging directed towards him, stealing his credit card information, creating fake texts where he admits to performing BDSM-style sex on Barb, claiming to want to get him to kill/harm himself, and on top of all of that, already had her eyes on the Suitress, who Bella also had a crush on, claiming to want to "steal" her from Chris. Chris had trusted her enough to admit that he was having an affair with his mother. After the Suitress had leaked a chunk of the resulting call to her friends, Chris was arrested before Bella could succeed in any of her claimed plans.

{{clear}}

==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The youngest sweetheart to date that wasn't [[Lori Lopez|a]] [[Julie|troll]] [[Jessica Quinn|persona]]. '''The Suitress''', a young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, had formed a genuine crush on Chris. She was in contact with Chris by mid-July 2021, and [[Chris and The Suitress videos|they were in video calls together]], including one in which they simulated kissing each other. The Suitress would also recount an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him. Like with the Wallflower, Chris would also try to keep the Suitress anonymous around most people he contacted, referring to her as '''"Fifi Vixenhart"'''. Chris had sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. She believed that following through with Bella's plan to get her closer to Chris would ultimately work in her favor and appeared unaware of Bella's edgy and [[A-Log]]gish side or that Bella had a habit of claiming to have plots to harm Chris. On 28 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. She would be the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a futher edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail.

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===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying there amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

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__NOTOC__
{{References}}


==See Also==
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2022-04-26T16:08:37Z

Ellieisdone: /* Lindsay */

{{quote|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had a good number of women friends in my lifetime. They cared and respected me; they were ALL honest and good to me. Most of what my Trolls say when they DARE to drag their names through the mud with mine are Lies or Exaggerations. I am here to set the records straight.|Chris on his past gal-pals and sweethearts.}}

For less than two decades, Chris was desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]". While most ladies swoon with his to-the-point sign, and often times innappropriate advances on them, others threw themeslves at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was. In the latter scenario, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life.

This article '''lists''' all of the women and men that Chris had seen as potential candiates to finally completing his search for a sweetheart.

==The Women and Men in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The original, and the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris had felt there was a romantic rivalry going on between the both of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time, and Wes barely even knew him.

{{clear}}
===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Being his first major high school crush, Chris began seeking out '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader, during his sophomore year. Despite being told that she merely sees him as a "friend", Chris would continue thinking about her, even after leaving high school, habitually poring over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her would indicate similar behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris had appeared to take no for an answer, but would still obsess over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

{{clear}}
===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]]. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Nevertheless, despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance with her whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a firefighter with two children.

{{clear}}
===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris had developed feelings for. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his 18th birthday party. Out of pity after learning that Chris brought his mom as his prom date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. Like all his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school.

{{clear}}
===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

One of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart. '''Hanna "Fandana"''' was a Starbucks employee at the fashion square mall and an acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]] who was the first person in Chris’s life to ask him out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit to, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%, when previously it jumped from 20% to 100%.

{{clear}}
===[[Lindsay]]===
[[File:Lindsaykane.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Lindsay Kaye''' was a woman that Chris had met on [[MySpace]] who, like Chris, had attended PVCC. She was rather friendly to Chris and was open about her personal life to him, making Chris believe he actually had a chance with him. Chris would try to meet with Lindsay multiple times but due to her actually having a life, she was unable to show up. Chris would eventually give up after six weeks of pursuing her and continue his love quest elsewhere.

{{clear}}

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], and all seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. However, things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|Manajerks]] decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove her away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

{{clear}}
===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An American/Spanish girl who Chris met through [[MySpace]] via [[Joshua Martinez]] in November 2007, making her the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about these two during their short time together. Joshua would attempt to catfish Chris again with the persona [[Vanessa Hudgens]].

{{clear}}

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Things had pretty much gone swimmingly between the two until Chris began suspecting something about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

{{clear}}
===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Sarah Jackson''' met Chris after her sister Rose, who is autistic, had discovered his [[Sonichu]] comics. She had coincidentally met Chris around the same time when he was pursuing a relationship with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]]

{{clear}}

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in September 2008, which Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards Ivy, which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

{{clear}}
===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named '''Chloe''', whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again. Some believe that "Chloe" is actually a codename for PandaHalo.

{{clear}}

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on '''Sarah "PandaHalo" Cassandra'''. Panda discovered just how desperate he was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

{{clear}}

===[[Caitlin]]===
[[File:Caitlin.jpg|thumb|100px|left]]
'''Caitlin''' was a seemingly boyfriend-free waitress from [[Golden Corral]] that Chris had had a crush on. Chris would mention an encounter with her to [[PandaHalo]] in a message. In this encounter, Caitlin would comment on a [[Family Guy]] episode that he was watching on his PSP, which would make Chris come to believe that she actually liked him. Chris would then write on a napkin a link to his sonichu website in hopes that they would be friends soon after.

{{clear}}
===[[Julie]]===
[[File:JulieMilvana.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing '''Julie Milvana'''. Through Julie, Chris began doing a number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recording them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Max, Julie's brother, held her against her will, forcing Chris to mount a daring rescue, driving all the way to Ohio to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max would put Chris through the rings, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

{{clear}}
===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the decency & privilege of dating. However, their time together would be cut short after a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away. Emily would soon after be the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes soon after, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

{{clear}}
===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own semen, and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

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===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xganged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[Naive]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[China]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

{{clear}}
===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Faeryn "Hambest"''' was an obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

{{clear}}
===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named '''Kacey Devoria''', he attempted to win her over, the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey would later break up with Chris and be happily married to Liquid.

{{clear}}
===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris, although he believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

{{clear}}
==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Before her discovery, Chris tried to keep her anonymous, putting her under the screenname '''"Damian Arnita"'''. However, Chris would still use her real name in multiple videos, and had accidentally leaked both the codename, and her likeness in one of his [[Little Big Planet]] levels, causing her to get attention from trolls, and getting doxed in the process. Apparently learning nothing from the Megan drama, and despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that he was asexual, Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris would begin to attack her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]] after stealing his girl.

{{clear}}

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jackie Romy''' was Chris' sweetheart from April to October 2010. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]]. While Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encourage him to play less video games, she still influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself and having him do a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

{{clear}}

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Catherine Sorrentino''' was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-2014, the first woman to troll him after the death of Bob, after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in July 2014. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in September 2014 for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in December 2014.

{{clear}}

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''DoopieDoOver''' is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel planet Dolan, and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her patreon after being harassed by weens, as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. But more importantly, because Chris was making her uncomfortable period. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

{{clear}}

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a white knight in 2015. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in September 2017, when they entered a complicated relationship on Facebook. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and Barb to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that October. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin Kiwi Farms and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video Quinn's account shut down and she blamed Chris for it, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. Thus breaking up with him a final time and causing him to have his biggest tard rage video since [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was entrenched in the Idea Guy Saga and was thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn was once thought to serve as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris had seemed to abandon the quest in March 2018 due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart wouldn't end there.

{{clear}}

===[[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan]]===
[[File:Bryanfrogboy.jpg|thumb|130px|left]]

'''Bryan Shikley''' was the creator of ''Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic'', a comic which would catch Chris's attention in early January of 2018.

Around the time when Chris was being brainwashed into believing he was [[bisexual]] by the [[Idea Guys]], he had been flirting and writing a gay erotica poem of Bryan.

{{clear}}

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], and [[Mewtwo]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|left|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. At first Chris was strongly opposed to people falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with Meg Griffin from family guy, however after realizing that he might never find a sweetheart in real life, he decided to settle for his own fictional creations, ending his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his haram.
Unfortunately this would fail to keep Chris satisfied for long and would result to him starting a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

{{clear}}
===[[Tings Tingz]]===
[[File:TingsTingz.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

'''Tings Tingsz''' was one of the regular members of the white-knight group [[CWCProtectSquad]].

Chris told [[Tings Tingz]] that his [[polyamorous marriage]] to his [[imaginary friends]] was open and "so you may ship yourself and I together." Tings declined.<ref>[[Tings Tingz DMs#Magi-chan & Cryzel chat]]</ref>

{{clear}}
===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in September 2018 and had a stroke of luck in July 2019 when Chris followed him on Twitter. Despite Chris's blatant homophobia during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Despite Jacob being forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in September 2019, Chris still keeps in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe he is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge and is going along with Jacob's suggestion for a relationship, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in August 2020.

{{clear}}
===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an [[enabler]], '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a medallion for Chris.
She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “CPU goddess of the Nintendo switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which would lead to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the [[The Place|discord server]] they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend free girl.

{{clear}}
===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''' was a Praetor member and OnlyFans camgirl that Chris had stated to see as a potential sweetheart.

{{clear}}
===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke''' was a troll who had gotten engagement from Chris,<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> infamous for her involvement in a call where Chris describes his relationship with his mother in graphic detail. She would also roleplay as the past high-school gal-pal and sweetheart, [[Kellie Andes]] for a period of three and a half months, roleplay as a Curiosity Stream employee in order to get him to [[Richmond, Virginia]] for a supposed interview about [[autism]], and is believed to have played a substantial part in helping [[Larry Vaughn]] with trolling Chris. The full extent at which Bella had trolled Chris is not known, and has been subject to much speculation. Through a genial facade around Chris, she was able to gain a large amount of trust from him. She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her, rather than the Suitress.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Along with that, Bella would claim to the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her. Unfortunately Chris was unaware about Bella’s A-logging directed towards him, stealing his credit card information, creating fake texts where he admits to performing BDSM-style sex on Barb, claiming to want to get him to kill/harm himself, and on top of all of that, already had her eyes on the Suitress, who Bella also had a crush on, claiming to want to "steal" her from Chris. Chris had trusted her enough to admit that he was having an affair with his mother. After the Suitress had leaked a chunk of the resulting call to her friends, Chris was arrested before Bella could succeed in any of her claimed plans.

{{clear}}

==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The youngest sweetheart to date that wasn't [[Lori Lopez|a]] [[Julie|troll]] [[Jessica Quinn|persona]]. '''The Suitress''', a young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, had formed a genuine crush on Chris. She was in contact with Chris by mid-July 2021, and [[Chris and The Suitress videos|they were in video calls together]], including one in which they simulated kissing each other. The Suitress would also recount an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him. Like with the Wallflower, Chris would also try to keep the Suitress anonymous around most people he contacted, referring to her as '''"Fifi Vixenhart"'''. Chris had sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. She believed that following through with Bella's plan to get her closer to Chris would ultimately work in her favor and appeared unaware of Bella's edgy and [[A-Log]]gish side or that Bella had a habit of claiming to have plots to harm Chris. On 28 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. She would be the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a futher edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail.

{{clear}}

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying there amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

{{clear}}
__NOTOC__
{{References}}


==See Also==
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2022-04-22T14:51:04Z

Ellieisdone: /* Bella */

{{Incomplete|Descriptions for sweethearts}}
[[Chris]], despite being [[autism|autistic]], lazy, and [[obesity|fat]], has had many attractive young ladies thrown themselves upon him, or have unintentionally been dragged into drama surrounding him, to hold the title of being Chris's TRUE and [[Honest Content|HONEST]] '''[[sweetheart]].'''

==How does Chris get so many women?==
Originally, he would make the ladies swoon with his to-the-point signs and his excessive burl but in more recent times his bubbly nature has subsided. For at least a decade he was so desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]," that when a girl threw herself at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life. Until recently, that was what you would expect from him.

==The Women and Man in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The original, and the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris had felt there was a romantic rivalry going on between the both of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time, and Wes barely even knew him.

===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|right|100px]]
Being his first major high school crush, Chris began seeking out '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader, during his sophomore year. Despite being told that she merely sees him as a "friend", Chris would continue thinking about her, even after leaving high school, habitually poring over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her would indicate similar behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris had appeared to take no for an answer, but would still obsess over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]]. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Nevertheless, despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance with her whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a firefighter with two children.

===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|right|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris had developed feelings for. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his 18th birthday party. Out of pity after learning that Chris brought his mom as his prom date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. Like all his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school.

===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

One of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart. '''Hanna "Fandana"''' was a Starbucks employee at the fashion square mall and an acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]] who was the first person in Chris’s life to ask him out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit to, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%, when previously it jumped from 20% to 100%.

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], and all seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. However, things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|Manajerks]] decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove her away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An American/Spanish girl who Chris met through [[MySpace]] via [[Joshua Martinez]] in November 2007, making her the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about these two during their short time together.

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Things had pretty much gone swimmingly between the two until Chris began suspecting something about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
A woman Chris met the same time he was with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]]

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in September 2008, which Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards Ivy, which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|100px]]
A possible codename for PandaHalo. When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named Chloe, whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again.

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on Panda. Panda discovered just how desperate he was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

===[[Julie]]===
[[File:Gilded.jpg|thumb|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing Julie. Through Julie, Chris began doing a number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recording them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Max, Julie's brother, held her against her will, forcing Chris to mount a daring rescue, driving all the way to Ohio to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max would put Chris through the rings, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the decency & privilege of dating. However, their time together would be cut short after a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away. Emily would soon after be the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes soon after, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own semen, and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xganged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[Naive]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[China]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named Kacey, he attempted to win her over, the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey would later break up with Chris and be happily married to Liquid.

===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris, although he believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Apparently learning nothing from the Megan drama, and despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that he was asexual. Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris would begin to attack her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]] after stealing his girl.

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|100px]]
Chris' sweetheart from April to October 2010. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]]. While Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encourage him to play less video games, she still influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself and having him do a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
Catherine was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-2014, the first woman to troll him after the death of Bob, after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in July 2014. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in September 2014 for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in December 2014.

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|100px]]
Doopie DoOver is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel planet Dolan, and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her patreon after being harassed by weens, as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. But more importantly, because Chris was making her uncomfortable period. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a white knight in 2015. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in September 2017, when they entered a complicated relationship on Facebook. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and Barb to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that October. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin Kiwi Farms and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video Quinn's account shut down and she blamed Chris for it, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. Thus breaking up with him a final time and causing him to have his biggest tard rage video since [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was entrenched in the Idea Guy Saga and was thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn serves as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris abandoned the quest in March 2018 due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart wouldn't end there.

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], and [[Mewtwo]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. At first Chris was strongly opposed to people falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with Meg Griffin from family guy, however after realizing that he might never find a sweetheart in real life, he decided to settle for his own fictional creations, ending his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his haram.
Unfortunately this would fail to keep Chris satisfied for long and would result to him starting a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in September 2018 and had a stroke of luck in July 2019 when Chris followed him on Twitter. Despite Chris's blatant homophobia during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Despite Jacob being forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in September 2019, Chris still keeps in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe he is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge and is going along with Jacob's suggestion for a relationship, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in August 2020.

===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an [[enabler]], '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a medallion for Chris.
She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “CPU goddess of the Nintendo switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which would lead to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the [[The Place|discord server]] they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend free girl.

===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''', a Praetor member and OnlyFans camgirl was used in order to "lure" Chris with.

===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|100px]]
'''Isabella Loretta Janke''', a troll who had gotten some degree of engagement from Chris.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her, rather than the Suitress.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Along with that, Bella would claim to the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her, probably because she was a lesbian and instead had eyes for her female friend. Unfortunately Chris was unaware about Bella’s true intentions to blackmail him into killing himself and pursuing the suitress, though he was arrested before she could succeed in her plans.

==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The youngest sweetheart to date that wasn't [[Lori Lopez|a]] [[Julie|troll]] [[Jessica Quinn|persona]]. '''The Suitress''', a young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, had formed a genuine crush on Chris. She was in contact with Chris by mid-July 2021, and [[Chris and The Suitress videos|they were in video calls together]], including one in which they simulated kissing each other. After she began texting Chris under a pseudonym, Chris sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. She believed that following through with Bella's plan to get her closer to Chris would ultimately work in her favor and appeared unaware of Bella's edgy and [[A-Log]]gish side or that Bella had a habit of claiming to have plots to harm Chris. On 28 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. She would be the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a futher edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail.

The Suitress would also recount an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him.

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying there amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

==References==

<references/>

{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2022-04-22T14:46:02Z

Ellieisdone: /* MKRNightVee */

{{Incomplete|Descriptions for sweethearts}}
[[Chris]], despite being [[autism|autistic]], lazy, and [[obesity|fat]], has had many attractive young ladies thrown themselves upon him, or have unintentionally been dragged into drama surrounding him, to hold the title of being Chris's TRUE and [[Honest Content|HONEST]] '''[[sweetheart]].'''

==How does Chris get so many women?==
Originally, he would make the ladies swoon with his to-the-point signs and his excessive burl but in more recent times his bubbly nature has subsided. For at least a decade he was so desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]," that when a girl threw herself at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life. Until recently, that was what you would expect from him.

==The Women and Man in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The original, and the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris had felt there was a romantic rivalry going on between the both of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time, and Wes barely even knew him.

===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|right|100px]]
Being his first major high school crush, Chris began seeking out '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader, during his sophomore year. Despite being told that she merely sees him as a "friend", Chris would continue thinking about her, even after leaving high school, habitually poring over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her would indicate similar behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris had appeared to take no for an answer, but would still obsess over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]]. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Nevertheless, despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance with her whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a firefighter with two children.

===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|right|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris had developed feelings for. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his 18th birthday party. Out of pity after learning that Chris brought his mom as his prom date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. Like all his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school.

===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

One of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart. '''Hanna "Fandana"''' was a Starbucks employee at the fashion square mall and an acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]] who was the first person in Chris’s life to ask him out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit to, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%, when previously it jumped from 20% to 100%.

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], and all seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. However, things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|Manajerks]] decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove her away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An American/Spanish girl who Chris met through [[MySpace]] via [[Joshua Martinez]] in November 2007, making her the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about these two during their short time together.

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Things had pretty much gone swimmingly between the two until Chris began suspecting something about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
A woman Chris met the same time he was with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]]

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in September 2008, which Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards Ivy, which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|100px]]
A possible codename for PandaHalo. When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named Chloe, whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again.

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on Panda. Panda discovered just how desperate he was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

===[[Julie]]===
[[File:Gilded.jpg|thumb|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing Julie. Through Julie, Chris began doing a number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recording them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Max, Julie's brother, held her against her will, forcing Chris to mount a daring rescue, driving all the way to Ohio to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max would put Chris through the rings, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the decency & privilege of dating. However, their time together would be cut short after a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away. Emily would soon after be the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes soon after, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own semen, and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xganged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[Naive]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[China]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named Kacey, he attempted to win her over, the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey would later break up with Chris and be happily married to Liquid.

===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris, although he believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Apparently learning nothing from the Megan drama, and despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that he was asexual. Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris would begin to attack her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]] after stealing his girl.

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|100px]]
Chris' sweetheart from April to October 2010. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]]. While Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encourage him to play less video games, she still influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself and having him do a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
Catherine was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-2014, the first woman to troll him after the death of Bob, after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in July 2014. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in September 2014 for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in December 2014.

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|100px]]
Doopie DoOver is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel planet Dolan, and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her patreon after being harassed by weens, as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. But more importantly, because Chris was making her uncomfortable period. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a white knight in 2015. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in September 2017, when they entered a complicated relationship on Facebook. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and Barb to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that October. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin Kiwi Farms and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video Quinn's account shut down and she blamed Chris for it, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. Thus breaking up with him a final time and causing him to have his biggest tard rage video since [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was entrenched in the Idea Guy Saga and was thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn serves as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris abandoned the quest in March 2018 due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart wouldn't end there.

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], and [[Mewtwo]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. At first Chris was strongly opposed to people falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with Meg Griffin from family guy, however after realizing that he might never find a sweetheart in real life, he decided to settle for his own fictional creations, ending his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his haram.
Unfortunately this would fail to keep Chris satisfied for long and would result to him starting a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in September 2018 and had a stroke of luck in July 2019 when Chris followed him on Twitter. Despite Chris's blatant homophobia during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Despite Jacob being forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in September 2019, Chris still keeps in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe he is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge and is going along with Jacob's suggestion for a relationship, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in August 2020.

===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019 and eventually turning into an [[enabler]], '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a medallion for Chris.
She eventually got into contact with Chris via a friend and she would proclaim herself as the “CPU goddess of the Nintendo switch”. She grew increasingly possessive towards Chris which would lead to him eventually cutting her off and leaving the [[The Place|discord server]] they were in together. This would be one of the rare cases where Chris turned down the boyfriend free girl.

===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''', a Praetor member and OnlyFans camgirl was used in order to "lure" Chris with.

===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|100px]]
'''Isabella Loretta Janke''', a troll who had gotten some degree of engagement from Chris.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her, rather than the Suitress.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Along with that, Bella would claim to the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her.

==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The youngest sweetheart to date that wasn't [[Lori Lopez|a]] [[Julie|troll]] [[Jessica Quinn|persona]]. '''The Suitress''', a young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, had formed a genuine crush on Chris. She was in contact with Chris by mid-July 2021, and [[Chris and The Suitress videos|they were in video calls together]], including one in which they simulated kissing each other. After she began texting Chris under a pseudonym, Chris sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. She believed that following through with Bella's plan to get her closer to Chris would ultimately work in her favor and appeared unaware of Bella's edgy and [[A-Log]]gish side or that Bella had a habit of claiming to have plots to harm Chris. On 28 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. She would be the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a futher edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail.

The Suitress would also recount an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him.

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying there amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

==References==

<references/>

{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2022-04-22T14:39:44Z

Ellieisdone: /* Various OCs (Cryzel, Magi-Chan, Sylvana, and Mewtwo) */

{{Incomplete|Descriptions for sweethearts}}
[[Chris]], despite being [[autism|autistic]], lazy, and [[obesity|fat]], has had many attractive young ladies thrown themselves upon him, or have unintentionally been dragged into drama surrounding him, to hold the title of being Chris's TRUE and [[Honest Content|HONEST]] '''[[sweetheart]].'''

==How does Chris get so many women?==
Originally, he would make the ladies swoon with his to-the-point signs and his excessive burl but in more recent times his bubbly nature has subsided. For at least a decade he was so desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]," that when a girl threw herself at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life. Until recently, that was what you would expect from him.

==The Women and Man in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The original, and the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris had felt there was a romantic rivalry going on between the both of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time, and Wes barely even knew him.

===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|right|100px]]
Being his first major high school crush, Chris began seeking out '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader, during his sophomore year. Despite being told that she merely sees him as a "friend", Chris would continue thinking about her, even after leaving high school, habitually poring over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her would indicate similar behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris had appeared to take no for an answer, but would still obsess over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]]. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Nevertheless, despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance with her whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a firefighter with two children.

===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|right|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris had developed feelings for. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his 18th birthday party. Out of pity after learning that Chris brought his mom as his prom date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. Like all his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school.

===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

One of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart. '''Hanna "Fandana"''' was a Starbucks employee at the fashion square mall and an acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]] who was the first person in Chris’s life to ask him out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit to, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%, when previously it jumped from 20% to 100%.

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], and all seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. However, things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|Manajerks]] decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove her away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An American/Spanish girl who Chris met through [[MySpace]] via [[Joshua Martinez]] in November 2007, making her the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about these two during their short time together.

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Things had pretty much gone swimmingly between the two until Chris began suspecting something about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
A woman Chris met the same time he was with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]]

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in September 2008, which Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards Ivy, which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|100px]]
A possible codename for PandaHalo. When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named Chloe, whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again.

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on Panda. Panda discovered just how desperate he was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

===[[Julie]]===
[[File:Gilded.jpg|thumb|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing Julie. Through Julie, Chris began doing a number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recording them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Max, Julie's brother, held her against her will, forcing Chris to mount a daring rescue, driving all the way to Ohio to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max would put Chris through the rings, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the decency & privilege of dating. However, their time together would be cut short after a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away. Emily would soon after be the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes soon after, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own semen, and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xganged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[Naive]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[China]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named Kacey, he attempted to win her over, the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey would later break up with Chris and be happily married to Liquid.

===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris, although he believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Apparently learning nothing from the Megan drama, and despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that he was asexual. Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris would begin to attack her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]] after stealing his girl.

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|100px]]
Chris' sweetheart from April to October 2010. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]]. While Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encourage him to play less video games, she still influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself and having him do a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
Catherine was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-2014, the first woman to troll him after the death of Bob, after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in July 2014. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in September 2014 for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in December 2014.

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|100px]]
Doopie DoOver is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel planet Dolan, and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her patreon after being harassed by weens, as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. But more importantly, because Chris was making her uncomfortable period. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a white knight in 2015. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in September 2017, when they entered a complicated relationship on Facebook. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and Barb to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that October. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin Kiwi Farms and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video Quinn's account shut down and she blamed Chris for it, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. Thus breaking up with him a final time and causing him to have his biggest tard rage video since [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was entrenched in the Idea Guy Saga and was thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn serves as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris abandoned the quest in March 2018 due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart wouldn't end there.

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], and [[Mewtwo]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]]. This is by far the most bizarre relationship Chris has found himself in. At first Chris was strongly opposed to people falling in love with fictional characters, despite him falling in love with Meg Griffin from family guy, however after realizing that he might never find a sweetheart in real life, he decided to settle for his own fictional creations, ending his love quest.
He would first marry Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu, before adding Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo into his haram.
Unfortunately this would fail to keep Chris satisfied for long and would result to him starting a sexual relationship with an [[Barbara Chandler|older woman]] who happened to be boyfriend free.

===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in September 2018 and had a stroke of luck in July 2019 when Chris followed him on Twitter. Despite Chris's blatant homophobia during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Despite Jacob being forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in September 2019, Chris still keeps in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe he is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge and is going along with Jacob's suggestion for a relationship, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in August 2020.

===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019, '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a medallion for Chris.

===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''', a Praetor member and OnlyFans camgirl was used in order to "lure" Chris with.

===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|100px]]
'''Isabella Loretta Janke''', a troll who had gotten some degree of engagement from Chris.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her, rather than the Suitress.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Along with that, Bella would claim to the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her.

==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The youngest sweetheart to date that wasn't [[Lori Lopez|a]] [[Julie|troll]] [[Jessica Quinn|persona]]. '''The Suitress''', a young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, had formed a genuine crush on Chris. She was in contact with Chris by mid-July 2021, and [[Chris and The Suitress videos|they were in video calls together]], including one in which they simulated kissing each other. After she began texting Chris under a pseudonym, Chris sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. She believed that following through with Bella's plan to get her closer to Chris would ultimately work in her favor and appeared unaware of Bella's edgy and [[A-Log]]gish side or that Bella had a habit of claiming to have plots to harm Chris. On 28 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. She would be the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a futher edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail.

The Suitress would also recount an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him.

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying there amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

==References==

<references/>

{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

List of Love Quest candidates

2022-04-22T14:13:26Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Incomplete|Descriptions for sweethearts}}
[[Chris]], despite being [[autism|autistic]], lazy, and [[obesity|fat]], has had many attractive young ladies thrown themselves upon him, or have unintentionally been dragged into drama surrounding him, to hold the title of being Chris's TRUE and [[Honest Content|HONEST]] '''[[sweetheart]].'''

==How does Chris get so many women?==
Originally, he would make the ladies swoon with his to-the-point signs and his excessive burl but in more recent times his bubbly nature has subsided. For at least a decade he was so desperate to lose his moniker of "[[Virgin with rage]]," that when a girl threw herself at Chris saying how awesome and hunky he was, Chris was ready and willing to sweep them off their feet and bring them into his life. Until recently, that was what you would expect from him.

==The Women and Man in Chris's Life==

===[[Sarah Hammer]]===
[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarahcropped.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The original, and the first person that Chris tried to bond with, as well as Chris' first manipulator, even before Encyclopedia Dramatica. Once a [[gal-pal]] of his, '''Sarah Hammer''' was a childhood "friend" of Chris who tricked him into crawling into a tight, dark, cobweb infested space. Her relationship with another lover was also part of the reason as to why Chris began his [[Love Quest]]. When [[Wes Iseli]] started dating her, Chris had felt there was a romantic rivalry going on between the both of them, even though Sarah had little concern about Chris at the time, and Wes barely even knew him.

===[[Laura Beth Dorazio|Laura]]===
[[File:Laura.jpg|thumb|right|100px]]
Being his first major high school crush, Chris began seeking out '''Laura Dorazio''', a cheerleader, during his sophomore year. Despite being told that she merely sees him as a "friend", Chris would continue thinking about her, even after leaving high school, habitually poring over old yearbooks with pictures of her. In several ways, his feelings towards her would indicate similar behaviors he'd show with many of the candidates that appear later on this list. Chris had appeared to take no for an answer, but would still obsess over her, mentioning her in several future videos and comics.

===[[Kellie Andes|Kellie]]===
[[File:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Kellie Andes''' was another high school crush of Chris's starting in his sophomore year, being Chris's lab partner in his chemistry class. Chris considers her to be his "High School Sweetheart", and believed that he had a shot with her, but blew it as a result of [[Naive|naïveté]]. Unlike most other high school gal-pals, Chris was able to continue contact with Kellie for an entire year after graduating. The stories as to what came of this are highly conflicting, but Chris would attempt to call her weekly in vain. Nevertheless, despite Chris's belief that he had a "shot" with her, he stood no chance with her whatsoever. Kellie had already been happily married to a firefighter with two children.

===[[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]===
[[File:Tiffany.jpg|thumb|right|100px]]

'''Tiffany Gowen''' was yet another High School gal-pal that Chris had developed feelings for. Chris sat at her lunch table everyday and she attended his 18th birthday party. Out of pity after learning that Chris brought his mom as his prom date, Tiffany asked Chris to dance, as well as being the only student to console him during his graduation. Like all his other gal pals at the time, communication between the two ended after high school.

===[[Hanna]]===
[[File:Hanna.jpg|thumb|left|75px]]

One of the first incidents of Chris being lured in by a fake sweetheart. '''Hanna "Fandana"''' was a Starbucks employee at the fashion square mall and an acquaintance of [[Anna McLerran]] who was the first person in Chris’s life to ask him out on a date. After the date, Anna told Chris that Hanna was messing with him, to which Hanna would admit to, dropping Chris's [[Heart Level]] down to 15%, when previously it jumped from 20% to 100%.

===[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]===
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|100px]]
'''Megan Schroeder''' is possibly the epitome of the term "sweetheart". The “love story” began between her and Chris around [[2004]], and all seemed well even amidst Megan's discomfort and constantly reminding Chris to keep his hands off of her. However, things would come crashing down one summer day in 2007, when some [[Manajerk|Manajerks]] decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]] and cheat Chris out of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|a contest]] in which he had hoped would tie the knot with her once and for all. Chris's anger at his loss, combined with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|certain other actions]], somehow drove her away, as well as any chance at winning back her heart.

===[[Lori Lopez|Lori]]===
[[File:Lori.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An American/Spanish girl who Chris met through [[MySpace]] via [[Joshua Martinez]] in November 2007, making her the first person to catfish Chris online. Not much is known about these two during their short time together.

===[[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]===
[[File:BWthumb.png|thumb|100px]]
A girl Chris met online around August 2008. She was the first to introduce a character for the [[Sonichu]] comics. Things had pretty much gone swimmingly between the two until Chris began suspecting something about her. At the same time, he began seeing another woman, causing friction between the two of them. When Blanca asked to see his medallions, Chris happily obliged until trolls intercepted and destroyed them. Soon after, Blanca broke up with Chris, shattering his heart (Chris would revision this event with him dumping her.)

===[[Sarah Jackson]]===
[[File:TheRealSarahJackson.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
A woman Chris met the same time he was with Blanca. When the two women finally confronted each other, Chris chose Blanca. Sarah would later die by [[Optimus Prime|a truck hitting her]]

===[[Jessie Ruddy|Jessie]]===
[[File:JessieRuddy.jpg|thumb|150px]]

'''Jessica "Jessie" Ruddy''' was a troll gal-pal created in September 2008, which Chris had met in a chat. Very little is actually known about Jessie, or the troll behind her, outside of her alleged interactions with Chris which have been shared in a [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|talk page]] on this website.

Jessie was later mentioned in a video which was directed towards Ivy, which showcased some of Chris's past sweethearts. In the description of that video, she is listed as "Woman #3" among a list of 5 women he's previously considered his "sweetheart".

===[[Chloe]]===
[[File:Chloe.jpg|thumb|100px]]
A possible codename for PandaHalo. When Chris broke up with Blanca, Chris claimed he was seeing a girl named Chloe, whom he claimed to have met at a GameStop. Many never bought Chris's claims and Chloe was never mentioned again.

===[[PandaHalo]]===
[[File:Pandathumb.png|thumb|left|100px]]
A girl Chris met at the same time he was seeing Blanca. When he and Blanca broke up, Chris immediately set his sights on Panda. Panda discovered just how desperate he was for sex when he admitted he would gladly have sex with an animal for her pleasure. Panda would later be raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and be pregnant with his child. Chris tried to get her to have an abortion while Panda attempted to get him to join her and Clyde in Clyde's mansion. In the end, Chris gave up Panda to Clyde when she told him he if they wanted to stay together, he should make Sonichu a reality, and Chris didn't want to put that much work into it.

===[[Julie]]===
[[File:Gilded.jpg|thumb|100px]]
Soon after breaking up with Panda, Chris immediately began seeing Julie. Through Julie, Chris began doing a number of sex acts and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|recording them]]. One of these moments was [[Bob Walks In|interrupted by Bob Chandler]]. In late February, Max, Julie's brother, held her against her will, forcing Chris to mount a daring rescue, driving all the way to Ohio to rescue her only to arrive at a fake address. Max would put Chris through the rings, showing how desperate Chris was for a girl while taunting him before revealing that both Max and Julie never existed - they were the [[BlueSpike|same person]], portrayed by 13 year old boy with too much free time.

===[[Emily]]===
[[File:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Emily Schifflet''' was Chris's [[Emily#Chris's first date|first real date]], and one of the very few gal-pals Chris ever had the decency & privilege of dating. However, their time together would be cut short after a [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Man in a Pickle Suit]] scared her away. Emily would soon after be the mastermind behind several other trolling schemes soon after, such as [[Sign Destruction Video|placing a sign on lawn]] and taking the role as his troll some gal-pal [[Kim Wilson]]

===[[Ivy]]===
[[File:Ivythumb.png|thumb|100px]]
Another girl Chris had eyes for. He began seeing '''Ivy O'Neil''' not long after the incident with Julie. During this time, Chris went to great lengths to show how much he was in love with Ivy. Unlike Panda and Julie, Ivy never showed any interest in sexual acts, preferring seeing the comics instead. Chris happily obliged, creating three special comics in the process as well as multiple creepy videos, a video of him drinking his own semen, and an entire album of songs about her. While he was with Ivy, he also proceeded to cheat on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which would ultimately end their relationship.

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]]===
[[File:Vanessathumb.png|thumb|100px]]
'''S'''he '''H'''as '''E'''xganged '''S'''everal '''A'''IM [[Joshua Martinez|'''M'''essages '''A'''nd '''N'''udie]] woman pics with Chris on [[facebook]]. This relationship truly highlighted how [[Naive]] Chris was and how willing he was to cheat on his sweetheart to get some [[China]]. Aside from this, she's been much too preoccupied with her [[Work|celebrity life]] to really care about Chris.

===[[Faeryn]]===
[[File:Chris2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
An obese woman who Chris met at [[List of restaurants#Applebee's|Applebee's]] through Kim Wilson. Their time was short due to a mutual lack of interest in [[Obesity|fat, unattractive,]] [[Chris and health#Hygiene|and disgusting]] people.

===[[Kacey]]===
[[File:Kacey2.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
When [[Liquid Chris]] made his appearance, Chris fought valiantly to prove his identity. When Chris discovered that Liquid had a girlfriend named Kacey, he attempted to win her over, the assumption being that, as the TRUE and HONEST Chris, she should be ''his'' girlfriend. When Liquid made his comeback months later, Chris would successfully win Kacey over. He would lose her not even weeks later due to a combination of being stood up for a date, [[Father Call|a confrontation with her father]], and [[Sonichu Special 4|a horrific comic]]. Kacey would later break up with Chris and be happily married to Liquid.

===[[Regina e-mails|Regina]]===
[[File:CzechStudent.jpg|thumb|100px]]
'''Regina Novakova''' was a Czech foreign exchange student studying at [[UVA]] who was interested in buying a ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]] from Chris, although he believed she was also trying to pursue a romantic relationship with him. Chris quickly discontinued contact with her, leaving her guitarless.

==="[[The Wallflower]]"===
[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
According to a set of e-mails that Chris sent to [[Vivian Gee]], on 22 January 2010, Chris had met '''the Wallflower''' at a "Young Adult Social Group". Apparently learning nothing from the Megan drama, and despite her insistence that they weren't dating and that he was asexual. Chris committed extensively to forming a romantic relationship with her. Like Megan, she cut all ties with Chris after finding out about his status as a lolcow and what he was saying about her on the internet. Chris would begin to attack her new boyfriend [[Surfshack Tito]] after stealing his girl.

===[[Jackie]]===
[[File:Jackiethumb.png|thumb|100px]]
Chris' sweetheart from April to October 2010. Chris met her on the [[Hook Cafe|HooK Café]]. While Jackie was less brutal than most of his fake sweethearts, trying to get him to make more positive changes in his life and encourage him to play less video games, she still influenced him to make more videos on the internet and further embarrass himself and having him do a voice call with her ex boyfriend [[Lars]], a black man who made miniature boats. Chris (for once) eventually saw through Jackie's trolling and ended the relationship.

===[[Catherine]]===
[[File:CandC.jpeg|thumb|left|100px]]
Catherine was a sweetheart/troll that Chris pursued in mid-2014, the first woman to troll him after the death of Bob, after he found that she was a 97% match on [[OkCupid]] in July 2014. Catherine saw an opportunity to document our [[TRUE and HONEST]] hero and accepted a [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|lunch date]] at Applebees. They chatted until Catherine friendzoned Chris in September 2014 for being creepy and generally clingy, which resulted in [[I Love You, Catherine]]. Catherine cut Chris off completely in December 2014.

===[[DoopieDoOver]]===
[[File:DoopieDoOver.png|thumb|100px]]
Doopie DoOver is an artist, animator, and voice actor for the YouTube channel planet Dolan, and a cohost on the lazycast podcast. While Chris appeared to have thought of her as a potential [[gal pal]] or maybe even someone who was interested in him, she simply saw him as just another [[Financhu Crisis|customer]]. She eventually blocked him and removed him as a patron from her patreon after being harassed by weens, as well as being uncomfortable with someone who was struggling financially giving her money. But more importantly, because Chris was making her uncomfortable period. Needless to say, Chris did his absolute best to become her knight in shining armor when the [[HarassCWCdirectly|times were dire]] not realizing the main reason was because he was being creepy to her.

===[[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]]===
[[File:JessicaQuinn.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jessica Quinn''' started as a white knight in 2015. She stayed on the back burner until a few months after Chris was friendzoned by [[Doopie]] in September 2017, when they entered a complicated relationship on Facebook. She is noted by her fat fetish and encouraging Chris to [[Obesity|gain weight]] to fulfill her fat fantasy. Most of their dating involved talking through Facebook posts, eventually, Chris liked a Tweet from a female complimenting him which caused her to temporarily break up with him. This caused Chris to upload a crying video and Barb to win her back for Chris. They patched things up after a couple of days and then planned to see the My Little Pony movie that was coming out that October. In early October Chris was encouraged to rejoin Kiwi Farms and do a Q&A thread with a video shortly afterward. The day after Chris answered questions on video Quinn's account shut down and she blamed Chris for it, saying that he attracted hackers from Kiwi Farms. Thus breaking up with him a final time and causing him to have his biggest tard rage video since [[Surfshack Tito]]. She tried to re-insert herself in early 2018 but by then Chris was entrenched in the Idea Guy Saga and was thwarted by the [[Idea Guys]] themselves.

Jessica Quinn serves as the final sweetheart of the Lovequest as Chris abandoned the quest in March 2018 due to influence from the Idea Guys. Despite this, Chris's search for a sweetheart wouldn't end there.

===Various OCs ([[Cryzel]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]], and [[Mewtwo]])===
[[File:OurWedding 9.png|thumb|100px]]
Chris's [[polyamorous marriage]] to fictional characters, a belief planted in his mind by the [[Idea Guys]] beginning in [[March 2018]].

===[[Jacob Sockness|Jacob]]===
[[File:SocknessCWC.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Jacob Sockness''' started out as a hardcore white knight in September 2018 and had a stroke of luck in July 2019 when Chris followed him on Twitter. Despite Chris's blatant homophobia during the lovequest, he was [[brainwashed]] into identifying as [[bisexual]] by the Idea Guys in 2018. Jacob, who has been open about his sexual desires for Chris, took things a step further and groomed Chris into warming up to the idea of a relationship by [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|manipulating him using Magi-Chan and the Dimensional Merge]]. Despite Jacob being forced to turn back en route to visit Chris in September 2019, Chris still keeps in contact with Jacob as he was led to believe he is the key to unlocking the Dimensional Merge and is going along with Jacob's suggestion for a relationship, stating that they could kiss at some point. Jacob was later friendzoned on 27 November in a Twitter thread by Chris stating that he didn't need to be in a relationship with Jacob in order for the Dimensional Merge to happen and was blocked once and for all in August 2020.

===[[MKRNightVee]]===
[[File:MeghanRingo.jpg|thumb|100px]]

Starting off as a white knight in 2019, '''MKRNightVee''' had created a character based off of Nights and the Pokemon Evee, [[NightVee]], taking a cue from [[Sonichu]] being a cross between Sonic and Pikachu. MKR would create fan art and a medallion for Chris.

===[[Annie]]===
[[File:AnnieIkenberry.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
'''Annie Ikenberry''', a Praetor member and OnlyFans camgirl was used in order to "lure" Chris with.

===[[Isabella Loretta Janke|Bella]]===
[[File:Bella.png|thumb|100px]]
'''Isabella Loretta Janke''', a troll who had gotten some degree of engagement from Chris.<ref>[[Lonely feelings]]</ref> She claimed that Chris has been insistent on booking a room with her, rather than the Suitress.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Everfree Love Triangle]]</ref> Along with that, Bella would claim to the Suitress that Chris would make sexual remarks towards her.

==="[[The Suitress]]"===
[[File:AHiddenSuitress.jpg|thumb|left|100px]]
The youngest sweetheart to date that wasn't [[Lori Lopez|a]] [[Julie|troll]] [[Jessica Quinn|persona]]. '''The Suitress''', a young autistic woman who Chris declared as his "first real sweetheart"<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Discussion of Incest Call]]</ref>, had formed a genuine crush on Chris. She was in contact with Chris by mid-July 2021, and [[Chris and The Suitress videos|they were in video calls together]], including one in which they simulated kissing each other. After she began texting Chris under a pseudonym, Chris sent both her and Bella an invite to the [[Knights of CWC]] Discord Server run by [[The WCT]], and the Suitress and Bella got in contact over DMs. She believed that following through with Bella's plan to get her closer to Chris would ultimately work in her favor and appeared unaware of Bella's edgy and [[A-Log]]gish side or that Bella had a habit of claiming to have plots to harm Chris. On 28 July, Bella recorded the [[incest call]] and sent a nine minute version of it to Suitress the following day. She would be the one who initiated leaks of this call, first sharing a futher edited four minute version of the call, then the full nine minutes, ultimately leading to Chris getting put in jail.

The Suitress would also recount an instance of Chris being turned on by her when she exposed herself to him.

===[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]===
[[File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|thumb|100px]]
It seems that after all these years, the sweetheart Chris sought after was right in front of him all along, laying there amidst the heaps of trash and [[List of toys|toys]] within [[14 Branchland Court]]. But we, the people of [[1218]], would never let them [[Affair with Mother|be together]], and so [[Jerkops|the authorities]] tragically took them away from each other, with Chris being [[Jail Saga|locked up]] and '''Barb''' being left to sulk in her chamber, both lonely and heartbroken...

==References==

<references/>

{{Love Quest}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Lists]]

User:Ellieisdone

2022-04-06T13:17:43Z

Ellieisdone:

<center><div style="clear:center; float:center; width:358px;">{{collapsible|Userboxes|{{Americunt}}{{HFA}}{{AssBurger}}
}}</div></center>

My name is Ellie. I’m a dumb 18 year old that got into Chris after hearing about him in 2018. I watched a few documentaries but started to religiously look into his life after the incest arrest.

I prefer sonic with blue arms, have Aspergers, asexual, and my favorite console is the HexBox one. So it’s safe to say Chris wouldn’t like me. I can also make coffee without burning my house down.

I can get certain things wrong so feel free to edit any contributions I make.

UVA Remembers Pulse

2022-04-01T13:35:42Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[File:Chris at UVA Remembers Pulse.jpg|At the event, wearing the Sonichu medallion and holding the [[Love is Love]] comic.|thumb]]

'''UVA Remembers Pulse''' was an event held by [[University of Virginia]] students in [[June 2017]] to pay tribute to the victims of the 2016 Pulse nightclub shooting.

Despite not being a student himself, Chris attended, bringing with him Sonichu paraphernalia: the Medallion, a [[SLGBTQ]] Sonichu drawing, the cover page for [[Sonichu 12]], a framed photoshop drawing of Chris and his parents mingling with Sonichu characters, and a short written piece which he read during the open mic.

==News interview==
He was interviewed by the local NBC station, which quoted him in an article and on video.<ref>http://www.nbc29.com/story/35648491/uva-students-hold-memorial-service-for-pulse-nightclub-victims</ref> Incidentally, this is the same station that interviewed him about the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].

{{quotebox|"Do not hate. Hate is not so good and to be paranoid is a bust. Feel love that comes from us and try to feel love that you can offer at least from within yourselves, for yourselves", Christine Chandler, who attended, said.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = UVA Students Hold Memorial Service for Pulse Nightclub Victims
| ytid = n062B5gurp0
| stardate = 12 [[June 2017]]
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| subject = {{Homos|SLGBTQ}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Poetic Letter]]
| next = [[CLog 06142017]]
}}
{{quote|Feel the love that comes from us and try to feel love that you can offer at least from within yourselves for yourselves.}}

==The event==

The organizers wrote the following description for the event, stating its purpose was for the community to reflect on the tragedy by creating tributes for the victims in the form of art.

{{quotebox|The student body at the University of Virginia encourages a gathering of the entire Charlottesville community to pay tribute to the 49 victims who lost their lives a year ago at Pulse nightclub. This Pulse remembrance event will be a time for everyone to join in solidarity and give honor to those who lost their lives to senseless violence. It is a time for reflection and a time to promote equality and diversity in our community.

<nowiki>** We will gather at the UVA Rotunda steps facing University Avenue **</nowiki>

7pm-8pm 
Reflection on Pulse: An opportunity to create art and share tributes to the 49 victims.

8pm-9pm 
UVA Remembers: A ceremony honoring the 49 victims and celebrating diversity and equality. Reading of the names and an open mic for all to share.<ref>https://www.facebook.com/events/1728191157474052/</ref>}}

Chris, on the other hand, decided to write a piece on his [[Tomgirl|transgender]] identity.<ref>[[Patreon#Poetic Letter]]</ref>

[[File:Poetic Letter for UVA Remembers Pulse.jpeg|Chris read this aloud to the crowd.|thumb]]

{{quotebox|I feel for y’all, my friends, family & allies in this lifetime of ours. Lost and confused is this point of our lives where we are meant to be; where DO we belong in our local communities; with minds gone blank like a fully erased paper? We are left with the remants of what we had thought of, before impulsively lost in time. I, too, was there during the times y’all were bullied, broken, and beat up bad. The times we’ve sought for new friendships to later, maybe, find truest love from one within. And, yet our efforts were mistaken for something sordid. The love, or lack thereof, from those who raised and taught you as y’all grew up. Left with time for ourselves, we’ve searched within our own personal depths. Soon enough, we not only have found ourselves, but we three, Child, Teen, & Adult, combined, worked out our ideas, taking our time; we continues onward in our life from how we were born, towards who we are meant to be this whole lifetime. I will continue onward, the stronger soul; woman that We ARE, for being boy was a lingering downfall. Someday, I will find our destined Sweetheart & Truest Love, while feeling the Love from within; from Child, from Teen, from Me.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Chris's gear for the UVA Remembers Pulse event 1.jpeg|The stuff he brought with him.
File:Chris's gear for the UVA Remembers Pulse event 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Transcript==

'''Newsreader:''' The University of Virginia community is also honoring the victims of that mass shooting one year ago. New tonight the student body at UVA hosted a memorial service to honor the 49 victims who lost their lives at the Nightclub in Orlando, Florida. This all unfolded on the steps of the Rotunda, along University Avenue. The two-hour-long event included an opportunity for people to create art, and share their tributes. 

'''Chris:''' Do not hate, hate is not so good and to be paranoid is a bust. Feel the love that comes from us and try to feel love that you can offer at least from within yourselves for yourselves. 

'''Newsreader:''' People also read out the names of those killed out loud during the ceremony. The event helped to promote equality and diversity. 

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos]]|prevlink=[[Poetic Letter]]|nextlink=[[CLog 06142017]]}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2017]]

Talk:Darling

2022-03-31T17:43:49Z

Ellieisdone: Created page with "Chris: “DO NOT CALL ME A MAN! IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE AND I DONT LIKE IT.” Also Chris: *continues to call women darling despite them making it clear it makes them uncomf..."

Chris: “DO NOT CALL ME A MAN! IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE AND I DONT LIKE IT.”
Also Chris: *continues to call women darling despite them making it clear it makes them uncomfortable*

Biology

2022-03-31T17:26:50Z

Ellieisdone: /* Penis */

{{Merge|1=Chris and science}}
{{Incomplete}}
{{Honest}}
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|At one point in his life, Chris believed that it was possible to 'recycle' his [[Navy]] by drinking it; while he was technically recycling the nutrients, he didn't understand that during digestion, it would be destroyed rather than re-enter the body the same as when it left.]]
'''Biology''' is the natural [[science]] that studies life and living organisms, including their physical structure, chemical processes, molecular interactions, physiological mechanisms, development and evolution.
Chris has talked a lot about biology yet lacks the knowledge, or common sense, of how the body works due to his damaged perception of it from media and television. He then ensues that he is in fact studied on it when really the most he knows would be about the same of 2nd Graders on the play ground discussing Lara Crofts breasts.

==Reproductive biology==
One of the most well known facts about Chris is that he used to [[Recycling|drink his semen]]. Chris believed that the male reproductive system has a limited amount of sperm cells that decreases every time he [[mass debating|nuts]]. To counteract this supposed decrease, he drank his own semen to make sure he can get potential [[Sweetheart|sweethearts]] (and [[Julie|13 year old boys]] pretending to be said sweethearts) pregnant. Although he has given up this act in more recent years, [[Chris's Specimen Sample|a video from 27 February 2016]] shows that he now believes keeping semen inside his refrigerator will keep it viable not knowing that is actually kills the cells. Ultimately, the only thing this will do is give him ice cubes to use in his Fanta.

Chris also supported a claim that transgender women can get periods<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1016786884192808962</ref>, which is false. Abdominal cramps are common for biological women during periods; for MTF women, this is impossible due the lack of a uterus. Feeling under the weather is also a common symptom of periods caused due to changes in hormones released by the female brain and uterus since Chris lacks both a uterus and common sense he is imagining his symptoms. While ''it is'' in theory possible to experience a form of sympathetic pain (pain felt by directly witnessing or viewing someone else in pain) related to periods, given Chris's [[My Little Pony|preferred]] [[Video games|viewing]] [[Anime|habits]] and [[Chris and mental healthcare|general apathy]], it is unlikely this is the source of what he claims to feel.

===Penis===
Chris has been known to have a few misconceptions about male genitalia, one of the many problems Chris consistently suffers from with his is Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs), due to his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|issues]] with [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|sanitation]], brought on by [[Chris and work|sloth]] and poor [[Barbara|parental]] influence. He also once believed the product {{w|ExtenZe}} was capable of enlarging the penis outside of puberty, which proved to be untrue, due to lack of results, and so Chris stopped using it fairly quickly. Chris also seems to be under a very strong impression that the size of the genitalia has a large bearing on one's social status,<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> or pleasure in sex, since he has often vastly over-estimated its size. He readily claims it to be 6 inches,<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> however most visual evidence suggests that it is perhaps from 3 to 5 inches, which is below average.

Chris also seems to think that the penis is an outwardly grown clitoris.<Ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts#Transgenders in locker rooms]]</ref> This, of course is inaccurate, due to their vast difference in functions, and could be a misinterpretation of the way fetuses form their genitalia in the womb.

===Sexual Reassignment===
Chris has been known to have a [[Un-clit#September_18th_Facebook_Status|negative opinion]] of [[duck|male genitalia]], so when he officially became a trans-woman he saw fit to exchange his pickle for some [[china]]. However, surgery is notoriously expensive in the USA, and unfortunately no current health insurance plans cover delusions and [[magical thinking]], so Chris had to do it the old fashioned way: [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]. Despite the apparent ineffectiveness of the Aural treatment at first, Chris could feel the vagina growing inside of him, so he freed it by [[Self-inflicted taint wound|cutting open his taint with a kitchen knife]]. Unfortunately, this still did not provide results that Chris was happy with, having only his pickle and a wound on his taint to show for his very careful meditations and precise surgical project. Chris has not tried to conduct any sexual reassignment that we know of since.

If he does eventually want to complete his sexual reassignment surgery, it is recommended that he should seek the guidance a healthcare professional. However, it is uncertain if there is a possibility of Chris ever being in a [[debt|financial position]] to pay for the surgery.

=== Vagina ===
[[File:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh's china seems oddly positioned.]]
[[File:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|thumb|How to ruin a friendship in the most thorough of ways.]]

Having been a [[virgin with rage]] in the past, Chris's constant involvement with [[Kimmi|sex dolls]] and piles upon piles of [[porn]] have warped his perception of what a vagina truly is. Having used sex dolls, Chris often locates the vagina as higher than it should be (i.e; below the belly button), indicating that he thinks that vaginas are located on a woman in the same place that a penis is on a man. One of the photos that Chris uploaded in his [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|edit war against Encyclopedia Dramatica]] features [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Walsh is depicted stroking her genitalia, wanting a [[Jerkop]] [[Niggos|slave]] to lick her pussy. Her vagina is clearly deformed, having the ability to stretch as much as Chris depicted, opening at the diameter of a normal person's hand-span, something that can only be achieved through years of fisting, meaning [[Count Graduon]] has been of more use to her than once implied.

Another instance of Chris proving his ignorance of basic female anatomy is the infamous ShecameforCWC.JPG image. Not only is [[Megan|Megan's]] torso completely straight and has no waist, but once again Chris makes the vaginal opening far too large and uses blue lines to depict [[Masturbating and squirtin'|her squirtin']], causing it to look like she has blue pubic hair or her vagina is glowing.

==Neuroscience==
Chris rejects the notion that Asperger's syndrome is equal to autism, though it is a well proven fact in the scientific community. He thinks that people with Asperger's steal the limelight from people with autism, though this doesn't make any sense since not only are both of them on the same spectrum, but Asperger's is considered the same as the [[high-functioning autism]] that Chris is quick to call himself.

Chris believes that the mind and body are separate entities where the mind can move between different bodies I.e the body is nothing more than a vessel for his mind. This has never been proved and most research points to different inter-neuronal connections being the reason for different personalities.

==Health and Disease==
Chris relationship with health and disease is hit or miss that is, he is hit with diseases and misses health.

During the [[COVID-19]] pandemic Chris refused to learn about the symptoms of the virus saying it will make him more prone to being infected. He also watched the anime ''Cells at Work'', a series featuring anthropomorphic blood cells taking care of a human body and claimed it would boost his immune system. Possibly thinking being worried of the disease will weaken his immune system and being happy will increase his immunity.

==References==
<references/>
{{Education}}
{{Health}}

Chris and work

2022-03-31T17:07:21Z

Ellieisdone: /* Chris hates chores */

{{Dated|Chris's incest charges}}

{{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}}
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydream]]ing over his fantasies.]]

Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Borb|elderly parents]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held one job - two if pushing it - in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.

Despite his crippling [[debt]], Chris vehemently refuses to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] - a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref>

Since being arrested and jailed on charges of [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts committed with his mother]], and with the possibility of Chris being convicted as a sex offender looming ever larger, there exists a strong likelihood that, in the very near future, Chris will find the very prospect of employment itself to go from extremely difficult to outright impossible; and he'd be especially screwed in such a regard due to having no more safety nets from his fanbase since they've lost sympathy for (and the desire to request commissions from) him.

==Reasons for Chris's refusal to work==
{{Incomplete}}

===External factors===

====Criminal record====

Chris, like many of us, has had as least one run in with the [[jerkop|police]]. However, being as exceptional as he is not only has chris managed at least 6 "run-ins" with law enforcement but at least 2 felony charges, multiple misdemonors, an EPO, and a lengthy stay in jail for charges of [[incest]]. Felons have a notoriously hard time finding employment, and being placed on the sex offender registry won't be doing Chris any favors.

====Parental Influence====

Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that has ultimately proven to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]].

====Negative experiences with workers and [[manajerks|managers]]====

While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some bad experiences with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power.

Chris also has had negative experiences with [[jerkops|mall security guards]]. [[Chris and the law|Chris's run-ins with the law]] have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to [[26 December 2014|bolt out of a Gamestop in fear]] when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from [[Chris and the law#2011|previous]] [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris vs. Fashion Square|experiences]].

====Financial Enablers====
{{Main|Enablers}}
In the wake of the Idea Guys, Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has amounts of admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him. Even after being arrested, fans continued to send him money through his inmate account.

===Internal factors===

====Autism====

Chris, believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess, doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In October 2017, Chris claimed that he was too busy with CWCville and his imaginary friends, in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In June 2019, Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his tomgirl gender, despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020.

In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in May 2018 that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society.

==Past Stance on Employment==

In the past, Chris has shown some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>Chris's resume</ref>, he has also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in Cutco Cutlery at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]].

Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]], which has not been updated in over a decade. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the Pokémon Leagues at the GAMe PLACe counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite the fact that he was not doing this in a professional setting, and that the product itself leaves a lot to be desired.

The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that is full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a [[Pokémon|Gym Leader's Assistant]] or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.

==List of Jobs on Dimension 1218==

===Wendy's===
{{Main|Wendy's}}

The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with.

===Cutco Cutlery===
{{Main|Cutco}}
The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and advertise this one quality in it.

===Other Employers===

Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, probably due to him complaining about trolls on his resume, and has also held positions he believed signified employment, but was actually mere community service.

==Current Stance on Employment==

{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension}}

Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, Chris himself has completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it.
===Job as a Goddess===
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job.

=== Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? ===
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://archive.md/7GWGx Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> even before his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his mother]] permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of minimum-wage employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> a very brief {{w|multi-level marketing}} [[Cutco|stint]], and over a decade and a half's worth of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory information]] about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://archive.md/VUWuy Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Chris has also not applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September 2009]], and his [[:File:Scan0001.jpg|Sonichu-laden]] resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made.

As for his incest case, no matter what the outcome of his trial will be, Chris will be forced to register as a sex offender; this will more than likely be the deathblow to any sort of chance of him finding a job in the future. However, even if he does manage to miraculously find work somehow, there is a very, ''very'' significant chance that wannabe [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s will harass his employer into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] him simply because he was there.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref>

In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be true, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now.

==Chores==
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}}

Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris is also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is.

===Chris loves chores===
[[Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|thumb|right|"That thing had to weigh, like, 5, 10 tons!"]]
[[Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|thumb|right|Bob working alone in the garden, on the verge of a 4th heart attack.]]

Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.

Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].

In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work.

Chris [[dreams]] of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his [[Sweetheart|wife]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]] at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|being condemned]] by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with [[Alec Benson Leary]], when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], 7:18 in</ref>

===Chris hates chores===
[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]]

Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly gets Chris to do things for her. This sometimes drags him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>

He also blames Barb for his house being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of his house is to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently leaves junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it. His room itself is extremely messy, with it being filled with thousands of legos and toys that he refuses to throw out.

Chris's parents also make him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complains about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He puts off paying them for as long as possible so he can use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!

{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}}

In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both do equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and money]]
*[[Chris and stress]]
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]]
*[[Dimensions]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
{{Fantasies}}

Chris and work

2022-03-31T17:02:11Z

Ellieisdone: /* Other Employers */

{{Dated|Chris's incest charges}}

{{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}}
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydream]]ing over his fantasies.]]

Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Borb|elderly parents]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held one job - two if pushing it - in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.

Despite his crippling [[debt]], Chris vehemently refuses to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] - a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref>

Since being arrested and jailed on charges of [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts committed with his mother]], and with the possibility of Chris being convicted as a sex offender looming ever larger, there exists a strong likelihood that, in the very near future, Chris will find the very prospect of employment itself to go from extremely difficult to outright impossible; and he'd be especially screwed in such a regard due to having no more safety nets from his fanbase since they've lost sympathy for (and the desire to request commissions from) him.

==Reasons for Chris's refusal to work==
{{Incomplete}}

===External factors===

====Criminal record====

Chris, like many of us, has had as least one run in with the [[jerkop|police]]. However, being as exceptional as he is not only has chris managed at least 6 "run-ins" with law enforcement but at least 2 felony charges, multiple misdemonors, an EPO, and a lengthy stay in jail for charges of [[incest]]. Felons have a notoriously hard time finding employment, and being placed on the sex offender registry won't be doing Chris any favors.

====Parental Influence====

Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that has ultimately proven to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]].

====Negative experiences with workers and [[manajerks|managers]]====

While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some bad experiences with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power.

Chris also has had negative experiences with [[jerkops|mall security guards]]. [[Chris and the law|Chris's run-ins with the law]] have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to [[26 December 2014|bolt out of a Gamestop in fear]] when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from [[Chris and the law#2011|previous]] [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris vs. Fashion Square|experiences]].

====Financial Enablers====
{{Main|Enablers}}
In the wake of the Idea Guys, Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has amounts of admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him. Even after being arrested, fans continued to send him money through his inmate account.

===Internal factors===

====Autism====

Chris, believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess, doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In October 2017, Chris claimed that he was too busy with CWCville and his imaginary friends, in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In June 2019, Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his tomgirl gender, despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020.

In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in May 2018 that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society.

==Past Stance on Employment==

In the past, Chris has shown some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>Chris's resume</ref>, he has also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in Cutco Cutlery at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]].

Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]], which has not been updated in over a decade. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the Pokémon Leagues at the GAMe PLACe counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite the fact that he was not doing this in a professional setting, and that the product itself leaves a lot to be desired.

The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that is full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a [[Pokémon|Gym Leader's Assistant]] or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.

==List of Jobs on Dimension 1218==

===Wendy's===
{{Main|Wendy's}}

The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with.

===Cutco Cutlery===
{{Main|Cutco}}
The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and advertise this one quality in it.

===Other Employers===

Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, probably due to him complaining about trolls on his resume, and has also held positions he believed signified employment, but was actually mere community service.

==Current Stance on Employment==

{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension}}

Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, Chris himself has completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it.
===Job as a Goddess===
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job.

=== Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? ===
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://archive.md/7GWGx Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> even before his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his mother]] permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of minimum-wage employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> a very brief {{w|multi-level marketing}} [[Cutco|stint]], and over a decade and a half's worth of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory information]] about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://archive.md/VUWuy Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Chris has also not applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September 2009]], and his [[:File:Scan0001.jpg|Sonichu-laden]] resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made.

As for his incest case, no matter what the outcome of his trial will be, Chris will be forced to register as a sex offender; this will more than likely be the deathblow to any sort of chance of him finding a job in the future. However, even if he does manage to miraculously find work somehow, there is a very, ''very'' significant chance that wannabe [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s will harass his employer into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] him simply because he was there.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref>

In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be true, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now.

==Chores==
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}}

Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris is also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is.

===Chris loves chores===
[[Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|thumb|right|"That thing had to weigh, like, 5, 10 tons!"]]
[[Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|thumb|right|Bob working alone in the garden, on the verge of a 4th heart attack.]]

Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.

Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].

In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work.

Chris [[dreams]] of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his [[Sweetheart|wife]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]] at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|being condemned]] by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with [[Alec Benson Leary]], when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], 7:18 in</ref>

===Chris hates chores===
[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]]

Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly gets Chris to do things for her. This sometimes drags him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>

He also blames Barb for his house being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of his house is to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently leaves junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it.

Chris's parents also make him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complains about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He puts off paying them for as long as possible so he can use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!

{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}}

In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both do equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and money]]
*[[Chris and stress]]
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]]
*[[Dimensions]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
{{Fantasies}}

Chris and work

2022-03-31T17:00:53Z

Ellieisdone: /* Reasons for Chris's refusal to work */

{{Dated|Chris's incest charges}}

{{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}}
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydream]]ing over his fantasies.]]

Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Borb|elderly parents]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held one job - two if pushing it - in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.

Despite his crippling [[debt]], Chris vehemently refuses to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] - a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref>

Since being arrested and jailed on charges of [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts committed with his mother]], and with the possibility of Chris being convicted as a sex offender looming ever larger, there exists a strong likelihood that, in the very near future, Chris will find the very prospect of employment itself to go from extremely difficult to outright impossible; and he'd be especially screwed in such a regard due to having no more safety nets from his fanbase since they've lost sympathy for (and the desire to request commissions from) him.

==Reasons for Chris's refusal to work==
{{Incomplete}}

===External factors===

====Criminal record====

Chris, like many of us, has had as least one run in with the [[jerkop|police]]. However, being as exceptional as he is not only has chris managed at least 6 "run-ins" with law enforcement but at least 2 felony charges, multiple misdemonors, an EPO, and a lengthy stay in jail for charges of [[incest]]. Felons have a notoriously hard time finding employment, and being placed on the sex offender registry won't be doing Chris any favors.

====Parental Influence====

Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that has ultimately proven to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]].

====Negative experiences with workers and [[manajerks|managers]]====

While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some bad experiences with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power.

Chris also has had negative experiences with [[jerkops|mall security guards]]. [[Chris and the law|Chris's run-ins with the law]] have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to [[26 December 2014|bolt out of a Gamestop in fear]] when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from [[Chris and the law#2011|previous]] [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris vs. Fashion Square|experiences]].

====Financial Enablers====
{{Main|Enablers}}
In the wake of the Idea Guys, Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has amounts of admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him. Even after being arrested, fans continued to send him money through his inmate account.

===Internal factors===

====Autism====

Chris, believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess, doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In October 2017, Chris claimed that he was too busy with CWCville and his imaginary friends, in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In June 2019, Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his tomgirl gender, despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020.

In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in May 2018 that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society.

==Past Stance on Employment==

In the past, Chris has shown some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>Chris's resume</ref>, he has also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in Cutco Cutlery at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]].

Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]], which has not been updated in over a decade. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the Pokémon Leagues at the GAMe PLACe counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite the fact that he was not doing this in a professional setting, and that the product itself leaves a lot to be desired.

The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that is full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a [[Pokémon|Gym Leader's Assistant]] or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.

==List of Jobs on Dimension 1218==

===Wendy's===
{{Main|Wendy's}}

The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with.

===Cutco Cutlery===
{{Main|Cutco}}
The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and advertise this one quality in it.

===Other Employers===

Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, and has also held positions he believed signified employment, but was actually mere community service.

==Current Stance on Employment==

{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension}}

Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, Chris himself has completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it.
===Job as a Goddess===
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job.

=== Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? ===
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://archive.md/7GWGx Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> even before his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his mother]] permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of minimum-wage employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> a very brief {{w|multi-level marketing}} [[Cutco|stint]], and over a decade and a half's worth of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory information]] about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://archive.md/VUWuy Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Chris has also not applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September 2009]], and his [[:File:Scan0001.jpg|Sonichu-laden]] resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made.

As for his incest case, no matter what the outcome of his trial will be, Chris will be forced to register as a sex offender; this will more than likely be the deathblow to any sort of chance of him finding a job in the future. However, even if he does manage to miraculously find work somehow, there is a very, ''very'' significant chance that wannabe [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s will harass his employer into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] him simply because he was there.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref>

In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be true, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now.

==Chores==
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}}

Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris is also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is.

===Chris loves chores===
[[Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|thumb|right|"That thing had to weigh, like, 5, 10 tons!"]]
[[Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|thumb|right|Bob working alone in the garden, on the verge of a 4th heart attack.]]

Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.

Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].

In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work.

Chris [[dreams]] of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his [[Sweetheart|wife]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]] at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|being condemned]] by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with [[Alec Benson Leary]], when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], 7:18 in</ref>

===Chris hates chores===
[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]]

Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly gets Chris to do things for her. This sometimes drags him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>

He also blames Barb for his house being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of his house is to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently leaves junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it.

Chris's parents also make him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complains about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He puts off paying them for as long as possible so he can use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!

{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}}

In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both do equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and money]]
*[[Chris and stress]]
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]]
*[[Dimensions]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
{{Fantasies}}

Chris and work

2022-03-31T16:57:24Z

Ellieisdone: /* External factors */

{{Dated|Chris's incest charges}}

{{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}}
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydream]]ing over his fantasies.]]

Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Borb|elderly parents]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held one job - two if pushing it - in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.

Despite his crippling [[debt]], Chris vehemently refuses to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] - a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref>

Since being arrested and jailed on charges of [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts committed with his mother]], and with the possibility of Chris being convicted as a sex offender looming ever larger, there exists a strong likelihood that, in the very near future, Chris will find the very prospect of employment itself to go from extremely difficult to outright impossible; and he'd be especially screwed in such a regard due to having no more safety nets from his fanbase since they've lost sympathy for (and the desire to request commissions from) him.

==Reasons for Chris's refusal to work==
{{Incomplete}}

===External factors===

===Criminal record===

Chris, like many of us, has had as least one run in with the [[jerkop|police]]. However, being as exceptional as he is not only has chris managed at least 6 "run-ins" with law enforcement but at least 2 felony charges, multiple misdemonors, an EPO, and a lengthy stay in jail for charges of [[incest]]. Felons have a notoriously hard time finding employment, and being placed on the sex offender registry won't be doing Chris any favors.

===Parental Influence===

Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that has ultimately proven to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]].

====Negative experiences with workers and [[manajerks|managers]]====

While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some bad experiences with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power.

Chris also has had negative experiences with [[jerkops|mall security guards]]. [[Chris and the law|Chris's run-ins with the law]] have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to [[26 December 2014|bolt out of a Gamestop in fear]] when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from [[Chris and the law#2011|previous]] [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris vs. Fashion Square|experiences]].

====Financial Enablers====
{{Main|Enablers}}
In the wake of the Idea Guys, Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has amounts of admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him.

===Internal factors===

====Autism====

Chris, believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess, doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In October 2017, Chris claimed that he was too busy with CWCville and his imaginary friends, in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In June 2019, Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his tomgirl gender, despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020.

In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in May 2018 that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society.

==Past Stance on Employment==

In the past, Chris has shown some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>Chris's resume</ref>, he has also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in Cutco Cutlery at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]].

Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]], which has not been updated in over a decade. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the Pokémon Leagues at the GAMe PLACe counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite the fact that he was not doing this in a professional setting, and that the product itself leaves a lot to be desired.

The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that is full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a [[Pokémon|Gym Leader's Assistant]] or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.

==List of Jobs on Dimension 1218==

===Wendy's===
{{Main|Wendy's}}

The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with.

===Cutco Cutlery===
{{Main|Cutco}}
The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and advertise this one quality in it.

===Other Employers===

Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, and has also held positions he believed signified employment, but was actually mere community service.

==Current Stance on Employment==

{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension}}

Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, Chris himself has completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it.
===Job as a Goddess===
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job.

=== Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? ===
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://archive.md/7GWGx Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> even before his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his mother]] permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of minimum-wage employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> a very brief {{w|multi-level marketing}} [[Cutco|stint]], and over a decade and a half's worth of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory information]] about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://archive.md/VUWuy Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Chris has also not applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September 2009]], and his [[:File:Scan0001.jpg|Sonichu-laden]] resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made.

As for his incest case, no matter what the outcome of his trial will be, Chris will be forced to register as a sex offender; this will more than likely be the deathblow to any sort of chance of him finding a job in the future. However, even if he does manage to miraculously find work somehow, there is a very, ''very'' significant chance that wannabe [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s will harass his employer into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] him simply because he was there.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref>

In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be true, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now.

==Chores==
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}}

Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris is also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is.

===Chris loves chores===
[[Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|thumb|right|"That thing had to weigh, like, 5, 10 tons!"]]
[[Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|thumb|right|Bob working alone in the garden, on the verge of a 4th heart attack.]]

Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.

Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].

In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work.

Chris [[dreams]] of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his [[Sweetheart|wife]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]] at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|being condemned]] by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with [[Alec Benson Leary]], when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], 7:18 in</ref>

===Chris hates chores===
[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]]

Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly gets Chris to do things for her. This sometimes drags him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>

He also blames Barb for his house being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of his house is to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently leaves junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it.

Chris's parents also make him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complains about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He puts off paying them for as long as possible so he can use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!

{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}}

In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both do equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and money]]
*[[Chris and stress]]
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]]
*[[Dimensions]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
{{Fantasies}}

Chris and health

2022-03-31T16:55:09Z

Ellieisdone: /* Cardiovascular health */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|A rather optimistic depiction of Chris in later life, illustrated prior to his [[Transgender|Tomgirl makeover]].]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health''' – physically or mentally. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], [[ShowerClean|refusal to bathe]], and [[Tour of Chris's House|the grave uncleanliness]] of [[Rental House|his]] [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, heart failure, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Chris and death|death]].

==Diet and nutrition==
{{main|Chris and nutrition}}

Put simply, Chris is a fatty. Unfortunately, he continues to deny this fact, and often lies that he cooks for himself often. Chris's diet actually consists largely of fast food from McDonalds, which is admittedly not unlike the diet of many Americans. He claims to usually only eat fast food salads, but the caloric content of the salads often exceeds fast food burgers after adding the sauce that comes with them. His diet contributes in large part to many of his health issues, as well as his [[Financhu_Crisis|financial problems]].

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20111128031730/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, in [[WelcometoBollywood]] he is capable of dancing in place for over 7 minutes. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of Minute Maid lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should've it to came to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take 6 breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

Chris's lack of muscle tone may stem from hypotonia (lack of muscle tone), which can occur in people on the [[autism]] spectrum,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia</ref> although it is clear that his poor lifestyle has only exacerbated this.

===Bicycling===
Chris has owned several bicycles over the course of his life, but it is unknown if he ever rode any of them regularly. The most recent one was lost in the hoard sometime before [[2010]]. Chris has made occasional reference to biking over the years:

* In [[Kacey Call 18]], he claims to have a scar above his left breast from a bicycle accident he had when he was about five to seven years old.
* Chris received a bike as a [[Christmas]] present in [[1990s|1995]].
* In his [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid answers]], Chris claims that he always wears a helmet when he rides a bike.
* In [[Jackie Chat 6]], [[Jackie]] asks Chris to make a video of himself riding his bike. Chris claims that his bike is buried among junk and that he can no longer access it.

{{Wise|he would need to begin exercising regularly in spring [[2018]] for him to be in shape while in [[CWCville]].<ref>https://archive.md/1D1ZL</ref>}}

===Anytime Fitness===
[[File:Chris at Anytime Fitness.jpg|thumb|left|200px|A fan spotted him at the gym and snapped his photo.]]

The Idea Guys coerced Chris into getting a membership at an Anytime Fitness gym. In April 2018, Chris uploaded [[One-Hundred!]], a video of him working out in his bedroom with actual dumbbells of 20 pounds each, instead of [[11042009 51 50|lemonade boxes]]. He followed up by taking a selfie at an Anytime gym of him on a treadmill "speed walking 4 mph for two hours".<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/April_2018_social_media_posts#Exercising_on_a_treadmill</ref>

A couple of weeks after the treadmill update, Chris was cocky enough about his new lifestyle change to use a put-down of telling other people they could stand to go to the gym to lose weight.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Mad at Facebook friends]]</ref>

{{quotebox|You are now Blocked. Before continuing to insult me whenever possible you should consider Going to the Gym Yourself, as I feel YOU could stand to Lose Some Weight!}}

On 7 May, Chris lamented the fact that [[weens]] had been calling up the gym to harass management about him:

{{quotebox|You Jerks and Trolls ruin EVERYTHING! I CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE GYM WITHOUT YOU HARASSING THE GYM THAT I GO TO!<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/993696407369408513</ref>}}

Later, [[Emily]] shared information that Chris had been banned:

{{quoteboxyellow|Chris was legitimately getting complaints from fellow gym goers regarding being [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gassy]] and [[Fangs|burping]] a whole lot. So he already had a strike against him for that, then couple that with [[Weens|people]] calling them inevitably got him banned.<ref>https://archive.md/CKDwK</ref>}}

In the [[Copitz]] interview, Chris claimed that he had only been banned from the [[Ruckersville]] location, and was still regularly going to another undisclosed location in the [[Charlottesville]] area. Knowing Chris however its likely that this is a [[Lies|lie]] and he has most likely stopped going altogether since the Idea guys were removed from power, if he did actually continue to go to the gym its unlikely he could resist [[Ego| keeping it a secret for very long]].

===Walking for exercise===
{{quote|Yes, the nature today is beautiful, and it was great temperature for a four-plus mile walk up the Monticello Trail. 😊 ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1052243316274802691</ref>}}
[[File:Dead fitbit.jpeg|thumb|Chris's FitBit]]

The exercise habit from the Idea Guys stuck with Chris temporarily, as he continued to go on walks, as seen in [[Walking to the post office]] and him mentioning that he goes on nature walks with his support group.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1043912418198532096</ref> In December 2018, he purchased a [[treadmill]], and filmed himself using it. For the first time in a long time, it would've seemed that Chris had started to pay at least some attention to one facet of his health. However, only a few months later, it appears that he has left his treadmill to rust.

In 2018, Chris tried to sell a [[Wikipedia:Fitbit|Fitbit]] activity tracker. However, no-one bought it, and he kept using it.<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts]]</ref> He did 23,000 steps on a [[Walking to the post office|walk to the post office and back]]. In January 2019 he released Fitbit info to the [[Brony Babes]] group. Eventually, though, Chris gave up on walking, mostly using the Fitbit to [[biological clock|monitor his sleep]].<ref>[[May 2019 social media posts]], [[June 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

===#BronyBabes===
{{main|Brony Babes}}

Chris began [[2019]] by participating in the #BronyBabes challenge on Twitter with the goal of losing weight. He quickly abandoned it, though, after a barrage of blocks from fellow participants and voice actors for [[My Little Pony]].

===Exercise in Jail===

According to [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021|a few]] [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|jail letters]], Chris's primary means of exercise in prison is playing basketball in the recreation room. However, a letter from a Twitter fan known as "Eels and the Egg-man" also shows that he was restricted from the recreation room, though Chris has not disclosed the reason for this. Any other means of exercise for Chris in the prison are yet to be revealed.

{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140823175516/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}

[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|"Did you bathe?" "No"]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]]. Note the pale orange-red staining on the [[ShowerClean|improperly cleaned]] tiles, suggesting a case of a ''[[wikipedia:Serratia marcescens|Serratia marcescens]]'' bacterial colony, a type of bacteria capable of causing everything from urinary tract infections to meningitis.]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [https://web.archive.org/web/20140702004100/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] that he smells good, and asks him if he bathed, like it's some kind of event. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that using aerosol body spray is an acceptable substitute for a shower or bath.</ref> Rosechu seems to confirm this belief, as upon being told of the Axe usage she makes an awful attempt at suggestive wordplay, suggesting both that using Axe makes Sonichu clean enough for sex and that cheap deodorant has an aphrodisiac effect on Rosechu.

It would appear that Chris compounds this hygiene problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> It may be that Chris just gets into "nice" clothing to make his videos and as such doesn't get them dirty, allowing for him to use the same ones repeatedly, although this hygienic habit would be at odds with everything else he does.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cinematography|low quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos. This neglect will only make his hair fall out even faster than it already is.

This lack of cleanliness, combined with the state of his [[Chris's Room|room]] where he spends almost all his time, means that Chris and his surroundings must smell absolutely ''disgusting''. Chris evidently simply tolerates the horrible odors, perhaps not noticing them anymore. It may be that he has an abnormally weak or insensitive sense of smell or has gone nose-blind; few other things would allow for such living conditions.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]] (doubtlessly offending his victorious opponents) and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems would only worsen from that time onward. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

A 2020 tweet suggested that Chris wears the [[Sonichu medallion]] in the shower.<ref>[[June_2020_social_media_posts#medallions]]</ref> [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]] are both porous when hardened, and as such, the medallion will absorb grime such as soap scum and skin cells when Chris showers with it. The medallion has also grown more and more filthy and discolored due to contact with hot water.

A [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|November 2021 jail letter]] has Chris stating that he is highly encouraged to shower daily with Bob Barker or Irish Spring soap, a towel, and shampoo, while in prison, indicating that Chris's hygiene may have improved drastically in recent times. Chris claims that he is "VERY clean". Whether or not this pattern will continue after he is released, with no strict regime or [[Jerkop|guards]] to encourage him to shower, remains to be seen.

{{clear}}

==Living conditions==

''Main article: [[14 Branchland Court]], [[Rental House]]''

[[File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 1.jpg|thumb|Only half a year in and already an inhuman cesspool; quite the accomplishment.]]

Simply put, Chris has spent many years growing acclimated to living in conditions of abject filth and untidiness. The photographs and videos of 14 Branchland Court that he has so unwisely shared with the world showcased to us his filthy bathtub, as well as what appeared to be overflowing bins that looked more like mounds of trash, a kitchen sink overflowing with unwashed plates and cutlery, and even an instance of Chris [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]]. Trolls also managed to [[Rocky Shoemaker call|extract]] from [[Rocky Shoemaker]] that the house was suffering some sort of infestation, which led to [[Bob]] being quarantined after being brought to hospital, and Chris being confined to his room to avoid being bitten. When Chris's last video of the house emerged in the months before the [[2014 house fire|fire]], it was revealed that the problem had only gotten worse since Bob's passing, with whole rooms literally rendered inaccessible, and some filled almost to the ceiling with items [[Barb]] had hoarded, and with various other rooms reduced to crevices carved into Barb's mountains of junk.

Even after the fire, Chris and Barb have seemingly not amended their habits, as far as housekeeping goes. Photographs of the rental house revealed a steadily growing number of [[Lego]] boxes strewn around, as well as something much more alarming; when Chris was taking photographs of his merchandise for [[eBay]], he inadvertently photographed rat feces on the carpet as well. When [[Trolls|concerned customers]] pointed this out Chris [[Chris and reality|flatly denied it]], even though [[Honor roll|he had given them photographic proof to the contrary]]. Moreover, after [[Catherine]] visited in [[August 2014]], she recalled seeing junk "piled up to the ceiling" and the dogs not being housebroken and allowed to urinate and defecate in piles of newspaper on the floor. While Chris and Barb returned to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[January 2015]], one can only imagine the reaction of the landlord to the state in which they left the house, which, as of [[April 2015]], was still vacant, probably due to the mess they made.

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_10th,_2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video. Chris may also suffer from [[facial blindness]].

One of Chris' half-brothers, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

In his [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE]] video, Chris's left eye is drooping noticeably, which may imply either an early sign of a stroke or substance abuse. Both of these are plausible due to his [[obesity]] and poor nutrition for the former, and his abuse of [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|a black-market drug for the latter]].

==Hearing and speech==
''Main article: [[Speech impediment]]''

Little is known about the current state of Chris's hearing, but the [[Autism papers]] said he suffered from high-frequency hearing loss in early childhood. Chris has also exhibited signs of tone-deafness; his [[music]]al performances show little semblance of melody at all.

Chris is known for his [[Speech impediment|unusual way of talking]], which goes beyond just having a Southern accent. He mixes up, clutters, and substitutes sounds regularly. He also often talks quickly and slurs his words, and when he doesn't, his voice takes on a staccato rhythm. His voice itself is a very severe deformity, ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[autism]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone.

In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. Chances are likely this has become permanent for Chris, given his decades of isolation.

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|250px|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. He seems to be unwilling to brush his teeth, or even at least chew some [[Brand loyalty|Orbit gum]].
{{clear}}

==Cardiovascular health==
[[File:Soysauce on fries.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris thinks this will help him grow his [[muscle bra|breasts]]. To be fair, [[obesity|he's not wrong]].]]

It is known that Chris's father Bob Chandler had a long history of heart problems. Knowing this, Chris should have realized he was at a far higher chance of inheriting cardiac disorders and related risk factors. Thanks to his poor decisions regarding his own health, he has made an already bad situation worse.

In August 2013, Chris indicated that the [[Chris and stress|stress]] he's endured has begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. In 2016, he implied that he has hypertension;<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis#Likes]]</ref> this was later confirmed in August 2017, when he stated that he takes prescription medicine for it.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris' prescribed medication]]</ref>

In September 2017, Chris discussed his new method for growing larger breasts, which involves flavoring his food with soy sauce. As an example, he posted a picture of [[McDonald's]] fries doused in soy sauce.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris is fat and stupid]]</ref> It is evident that he has conflated soy-based foods with soy sauce, thinking the latter would be a good way to boost estrogen levels. In reality, the phytoestrogens found in soy products do not bind to the body's estradiol receptors, and thus will have no effect on his manboobs. Conversely, soy sauce is loaded with sodium, and said sodium is actually making him fatter due to weight gain and fluid retention, as well as inflicting further damage to his heart, which is already straining under the effects of hypertension. Although drinking water does help offset the effects of sodium-laden foods, Chris is too busy slurping on Coca-Cola to ever consider adding that to his daily food regime, although he has been drinking more water recently, due to his belief that putting a crystal in his water bottle will give him magical powers.

In [[January 2019]], Chris uploaded the results of a blood sugar and blood pressure screening. Chris' blood pressure is shown to be 121 over 84, classified as ''pre-high blood pressure''.<ref>http://www.bloodpressureuk.org/BloodPressureandyou/Thebasics/Bloodpressurechart</ref> His blood glucose is 63 mg/dL and his total cholesterol is 140, both of which are surprisingly healthy levels considering his lifestyle.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1084128581360513025</ref>

In [[June 2019]], Chris, via [[MagiChan111448|his sockpuppet account]], claimed to have suffered a heart attack, and that he went to the emergency room.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Heart attack claim]]</ref>. However, it turned out to have been a case of heartburn - his doctor referred to it as a gastro issue and advised taking Tums.<ref>[[:File:MergeComic11.jpg]]</ref>

==Excretory health==
{{main|DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Piss}}

Chris has had a long history of fecal incontinence. One factor likely contributing to this is his diet. His continued [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|abuse]] of his anus and rectum has not helped.

Chris also has a history of urinary tract infections, despite the condition being uncommon with men.

As mentioned in the previous section, Chris has revealed that he is now putting soy sauce on everything that is not sweet. In addition to worsening his renal health, when combined with the laxative effects of his intake of twelve prunes a day (part of the same breast growth formula), this is only likely to result in a higher frequency of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]

[[Chris and mental healthcare|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto), to schizophrenia (signs include his disorganized speech and writing, loss of contact with [[Chris and reality|reality]], and paranoid ideas about being the victim of persecution or "conspiracies" – such as his delusional belief that [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]] were somehow responsible for him getting banned from [[Walmart]]).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch – he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For well over a decade, he has been led on by various trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he continually falls for it. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years – because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30s, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[women's rights|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris later would [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity for real]], albeit to a hooker; as of yet, he has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life. In fact, he has been plunging himself and his mother even further into debt to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]] or his [[PSEye|camera]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara Chandler#Pampering of Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to recognize people's faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[Manchester High School|high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140825091156/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This is how the Trial went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky_Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Chris began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos on YouTube in 2016. On 29 June, he uploaded [[Announcement 06292016|Announcement 06292016-2]], in which he claimed that the music cured his autism:

{{quotebox|Hey [[fans]], I forgot one thing to mention. I have- I've actually been on a- subliminal project, as a lot of you- or some of you- might have been... aware of, through my history or whatever... That I try to keep private amongst my YouTube settings.

But I have been enjoying for the past 3 months the "Get Rid of Autism" subliminal. [[Naive|The one that actually works]] in three months so less than [''stutters''] three times per day. 36 times.

I have been doin' that I've actually found myself more mentally capable. I don't- I do not blank out as much, I feel a little bit [[Slow-in-the-minds|faster]] in mental processing... Aaand I feel a whole lot better so with that [''puts out hands''] I'm essentially [[Autism#Autism cured?|cured of autism]]. Oh and also I actually have been able to socialize better out in public, so that's another good deal right there.

I'm gonna put the link underneath this video... And those of y'all with autism... Try for yourself. Three- play it three times, per day... for three months. [''Points to head''] It worked for me. [''Thumbs up'']}}

However, in a November Facebook post, he was back to referring to himself as a "high-functioning autistic person."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris mentioned in August 2017 that he takes Valium, a drug used to treat [[stress|anxiety and nervousness]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2017_tweets#On_wearing_the_unicorn_cosplay_to_church</ref>

{{quote|I took a rest and some valium after I got back home. I feel some recovered, but feel some mild headache now.|Chris, on taking the drug after feeling stress from being told not to wear his [[unicorn cosplay]] at church.}}

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease] or the result of engaging in dangerous prone masturbation), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; [[Virgin with rage|you can probably guess why]].

==Gender transitioning==
{{see also|Transgender}}
===Hormone treatment===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]
Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones (which can cause health issues unless strictly monitored according to the patient's health profile).

Unfortunately, Chris has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Oestrogel has health risks, such as fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill, but has failed to connect the dots and see that taking over-dosages of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

In addition to Oestrogel, Chris has been taking supplements such as vitamins. He purchased a jar of Solaray Female Hormone Blend Vitamins in August 2016,<ref>https://archive.md/nY76j/</ref> which is meant to ease menopausal symptoms. [[Arthur Spatchcock]] also learned that, around [[May 2016]], Chris was fond of eating Fenugreek seeds because he believed it would increase his estrogen levels (being unaware that it would have no effect on him, since he is not on estrogen).<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170811082043/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-562#post-1475700</ref>

At some point in fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT]]</ref>

===Un-clit===
One day in September 2014, Chris decided to get [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Piercings require constant disinfection while they heal, anywhere on the body, even for very clean people, and so many trolls were concerned that considering Chris's general filthiness and the fact that the location of the piercing would receive very little air, there was a serious risk of infection. In December, he shared another picture of this piercing which showed that, while it wasn't infected, the piercing had begun to reject (''tearing the skin'' in the process). Making lemonade out of lemons, Chris (now in the throes of his transwoman fantasy) noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced, without giving the original wound any longer than about a week to heal. Fortunately, Chris gave up on it after it became clear that the piercing was going to be more hassle than it was worth, and removed it for good before any serious harm was done.

===Self-inflicted taint wound===
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}

In [[July 2016]], Chris posted about a wound on his taint, announcing that he had gotten it as a result of [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] and would be growing new labia as a result. However, as the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] later discovered, Chris actually went ahead and '''sliced himself open with a knife in order to free the vagina he thought was growing within him'''.

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.<ref>https://archive.md/KbKpe</ref>}}

===Rejected by a blood bank===
In January 2017, Chris complained on Facebook that he had been turned away from a blood drive for being transgender.<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref> He stated that the given reason was "the FDA saw to not accept blood from Transgender people, due to the varying levels of testosterone/estrogen balances in our blood." Chris does not realize how medically sensitive patients will be when receiving blood transfusions, and that it would not be in their interests to be taking blood with hormonal imbalances, especially from Chris, whose blood has been affected by both his unhealthy lifestyle and the dangerous intake of the unsupervised Oestrogel drug.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[COVID-19]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Vivian Gee

2022-03-28T12:39:12Z

Ellieisdone:

{{Troll|She was played by the same person behind [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/clyde-cash.1094/#post-71718</ref> This is why they left at the same time.}}
{{quote|Vivian Gee is a [[Gal-Pal]]; Please Relocate the link(s) to her page as such.|Chris in the [[CWC Blog]] 14 March 2010}}
{{quote|hopefully chris will just stop. seriously|Vivian, responding to comments on the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]].}}

{{infobox Person
| title = Vivian Gee
| image = Vivian.jpg
| name = Vivian Gee
| aliases = Vivi viviG Vivitheg
| day = 14
| month = July
| year = 1987
| gender = Female
| nationality = French<ref>Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2009</ref>
| race = Asian
| relatives = [[Clyde Cash]] (cousin)
| saga = Clyde Cash
}}

'''Vivian Gee''' is the creator of the ''[[Sonichu]]'' [[audiobooks]] and other [[Chris]]-related videos and cousin to [[Clyde Cash]].

She is also the owner of '''Hamsty the Hamster''', a video-posting plush hamster that has already managed to kill itself several times over Chris's wonderful effects on the psyche. On 30 [[May 2010]] Hamsty was decleared the owner of [[CWCipedia]].

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==Contact with Chris==
[[Image:Vivi profile 8 by viviG.jpg|thumb|If you think this was Vivian, '''THINK AGAIN!''']]

Vivian, ironically, was probably one Chris's [[The Wallflower|few]] [[DoopieDoOver|serious]] [[The Suitress|Internet]] "[[Watchmen|friends]]". While that might be taking it a little far, she's tried to genuinely help him. However, despite all the warnings of imminent doom, Chris ignored her regularly, and proceeded to fail spectacularly. Vivian has apparently toned down the [[white knight]] antics, and has realized Chris is an [[Autism|idiot]] who ''cannot improve''. [[Vivian Gee E-mails|Several e-mails]] have been recovered so far. Most are simply Vivian saying "JESUS, STOP BEING A FUCKTARD!!" and real advice. Chris wasn't interested until it involved his Internet [[gal-pals]] or ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. She once [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|talked to Chris for three hours]] to convince him to get help, with no success; in her words, talking some damn sense into Chris is "like fighting a wall".

Some time later, Vivian gave Chris a copy of [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|a novel]] she had written. Chris, however, most likely did not read it, as he mentioned that the cover "was nice" and was worried he was being charged for it. Had he actually sat down and read it, however, he would have probably seen some incredible similarities between the characters and settings of that story and [[CWCville|his own world]].

In [[September 2009]], [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 4th, 2009|a Captain's Log video]] was addressed specifically to Vivian, with Chris demanding that she close her [[YouTube]] account AND delete all the videos, "if she wants to earn back his trust" after she and [[Clyde Cash]], her cousin, had done "so much bad against him." It was soon followed by a [[Sign Destruction Video|violent death-threat video]] by Chris against Vivian, threatening to brutally dismember her and all of her family members, in which he expressed his hope that it would make her understand "the fury of [[Chris and anger|his wrath]]".

In a [[Captain's Log]] written on the [[CWCipedia]] on 14 March 2010, Vivian G.'s page is one of many listed in Chris's collection of those that are demanded to be altered after the discovery of [[The Wallflower]]'s page, completely and utterly unaware of Vivian's true nature.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log&oldid=4015 Captain's Log, Stardate March 14, 2010]</ref>

Vivian also sent [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] a gift for his 82nd birthday (4 September 2009), when his own autistic son forgot.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

As of May 2012, Vivian has apparently gone the way of [[Liquid Chris]] and shut down her YouTube account. Her DeviantArt page remains online but has been inactive since 2009.

==Extortion by Chris==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|Apologies, Mafioso-style.]]
After weeks of tension, the relationship between Chris and Vivian started to relax a little, and on 14 [[November 2009]] Chris extended an olive branch of peace. He [[Chris and remorse|excused himself]] for his lamentable attitude and decided to approve the audiobooks, in return for a cut of the proceeds. Chris, feeling smug after receiving some [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|papers from the state of Virginia]], felt the need to pressure Vivian out of her hard-earned money. He's thinking that asking for 25% of all the donations for the audiobooks should be used to support his already [[Monthly tugboat|lavish]] [[Chris and money|lifestyle]]. Vivian kindly <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cf2UM76sDU answered negatively]</s> (dead link) to the offer on her YouTube account via her spokes-"person".
{{clear}}

==Emails==
{{main|Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008|Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Vivi profile posthalloween by viviG.png|Self-portrait from dA.
image:2nd Background.PNG|October 8 image.
Image:Chris rages yet again.png|It ain't law-breaking, bro.
Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|Chris sure knows [[How to Talk to Girls]].
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[Audiobooks]]
* [[Clyde Cash]] - Another alias belonging to the same troll.
* [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin']] - The name of CWCville's bar was "Vivian's".

== References ==
<references/>

==External links==

*[http://web.archive.org/web/20100304071252/http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg Vivitheg's YouTube channel] - Archived.
*[http://vivig.deviantart.com/ Vivian Gee's deviantART account]

{{ClydeCashSaga}}
{{trolls}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Gee, Vivian}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Trolls]]