CWCki - User contributions [en]

Kacey Call 14

2011-05-07T07:35:05Z

Emitter: 0:00-4:28 transcribed

Just a brief overview until the entire call is transcribed.

File Name: kc9eleven.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts rambling about stress and phone calls and doctors. Hard to make out anything he's saying.
*Kim had to explain what a metabolism was to Chris. [[Kacey]] is snarky about Chris not knowing what it meant, and said that he's not ready for the information because it's too high level for him.
*Kacey is explaining what different words mean, like sodium and calcium. Chris seems generally interested in learning more about this.
*Chris claims that because he is on cholesterol medication, that means that he has good cholesterol.
*Kacey says that she needs to start a diet, so Chris does too.
*Chris drove around his neighborhood to see how big it was, due to this he claims that he walked almost two miles. Chris doesn't know what jogging is.
*Kacey talks to Chris for a long time about oatmeal and how it's not healthy due to sugar.
*Chris: "We only have a total of four cars."
*Chris's [[mom]] refuses to sell her car, despite the fact that she doesn't even drive it anymore, and they only use Chris's [[car]] or his [[dad]]'s car.
*Chris says that she's been hoarding since she quit her job.
*Kacey asks Chris if he's ever thought about giving up soda. "I can't go cold turkey on it" -Chris
*Chris is talking about Red Skelton.
*Chris was looking to buy some work out DVDs or a treadmill so he too can join the thousands of rednecks who don't use the treadmill in their house.
*Chris is thinking about buying Carmen Electra's workout striptease DVD.
*Chris is thinking about buying a guitar but he said he'd have to save money for it. Kim suggested it.
*Chris mentioned that he's working on his own [[audiobooks]].
*Kacey nags Chris to scan in his recent [[video game]] receipts and pictures of his [[PSN]] account to prove he's not buying any more [[games]].

==Transcript==
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, it's Kacey, what's up?
 '''Chris:''' [''voice instantly becomes much higher pitched''] Hi, Kace! You got out- You got out- You got home early?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I did. Actually I did we were really slow, so I got to get out early.
 '''Chris:''' Well that's good. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, just a little tired I kinda rushed through my ending (?) work.
 '''Chris:''' Aw. Okay. Well I'm okay, I had- I had a better days, you know. Little bit- little bit more peaceful, uh, I uh, skimmed through my email, but it's not like I really checked my email, um…
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhm?
 '''Chris:''' [''talking really quickly and stuttering''] I mean- I mean, you know I kinda asked you and Kim- if you know- concerned about like, you know- concerned about- concerned about, you know… Uh, like you know I blanked out and was really distant, you know- like you know- It was- It was just normal stress. But, you know I- I replied and uh, told her to know that my appreciation for her concern but it, you know, was just normal stress and it stress just me to blank out and all that. Yeah, I'm going to talk my doc- I'm going to talk to my doctor about uh… You know my stress and uh, all that you know, all that she between you, me, she, we three talked about it.
 '''Kacey:''' [''probably understood very little''] Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, actually I also uh just remember uh… Kim told me a little bit about- th- about the metabolism and uh, what that was. And, uh, you know, she just I talked you know maybe you could inform me more about it?
 '''Kacey:''' You- You didn't know what a metabolism was?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, not really until I said but then she described it in a nutshell as like uh, the uh, speed o- the speed of digestion.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, yeah, I mean I guess that's good for layman's tremens, yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Mmkay. What else do you know about it?
 '''Kacey:''' [''slightly over Chris' question'']It's an extremely complicated process that goes down to the cellular level and I'm not sure you're ready for that.
 '''Chris:''' It's okay. So… Tell me more about it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay, just what you need to know is metabolism is basically just what she told you. It's how fast your body takes in things, like glucose and fats and all sorts of chemicals and uses them up or stores them. If you have a fast metabolism you're going to use it al- a lot closer- or a lot sooner, sorry. 
 '''Chris:''' [''weakly''] Mmkay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean I bet you don't even know what glucose is.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, glucose is a type of fat.
 '''Kacey:''' No, uh glucose is what sugar breaks down into.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Adipose tissue is fat.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, what kind of tissue is fat?
 '''Kacey:''' Adipose.
 '''Chris:''' Adipose?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Adipose. It- It means fat.
 '''Chris:''' Huh… [''Kacey talks over him''] Adipose is fat.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you know like, break down, like, sodium. Uh, do you know what sodium is?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, sodium's like salt.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, at least you know what that is.
 '''Chris:''' [''weakly''] Mmkay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, cause things like calcium and potassium and sodium are extremely important to how your cells work.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Cap- Calcium and potassium and sodium. Yeah, I've heard that uh, yeah, one needs to have a good little bit of potassium and fortunately there is potassium in bananas and peanuts. 
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you don't want too much of neither sodium or, um potassium, because then you're homeostasis will be put off. Do you know what homeostasis is?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah that's a new one on me. [''pronouncing it incorrectly''] Homeostasius.
 '''Kacey:''' Homeostasis. It means the balance your body is in for th- to be working at optimal levels.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. The balance for my body to be working at optimal levels. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, like I said it's huge 'cause then you have to get into positive feedback and negative feedback, you have to get into sol- uh, cellular levels and it's just… It- it- it's a lot.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It does sound like a lot. [''there is a long pause''] So please continue.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ick4la17xde9m59 mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 13]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 15]]}}

{{FanChats}}

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[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 20

2011-05-07T06:48:08Z

Emitter: few names in wrong color

File Name: kc92109.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts talking about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Transcript==
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [''long pause''] I said I'm okay, how are you? [''audio is garbled'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [''Chris: "Yeah."''] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? ["Chris: "Yeah.""] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your ''professional'' life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years ''professionally''? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, Kim told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question''] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you would ''like'' to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [''speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"''] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well.
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you ''can'' work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [''sic, presumedly "adept?"''] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [''again pronounced "adapt"''] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' … Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''chuckling softly''] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [''long pause''] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [''Kacey: "Yes."''] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]]. Mm...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. They're not gonna really care about- say okay- you learned how to be more sociable, and, you learned the ins and outs of a working environment.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I've learned the ins and outsa working environment.
 '''Kacey:''' [''keyboard typing in background''] Yes. Okay um. Another question they're gunna ask you is. Um. uh. Also mention that- ah- you are good with dealing with c- ah- customers as well as their pr- fixing their problems efficiently. Um, and another question they're gonna ask is, usually, "How do you think you're education is prevail- has prepared you for this position?" [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' My education has prepared me... with a techna- technological experiences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you're just stocking, how is that going to help you?
 '''Chris:''' If I'm s- if I'm- yeah. Well… My education is uh. H-Has prepared me with org- with good organization skills. And uh. I'm- and a general understanding on how things are supposed to be put in what order. And uh… To follow such order.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay yeah. That's good, that's actually good it keeps you organized, and um, that's actually pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, hopefully you do really well.
 '''Chris:''' I'll do my best anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think with all the prepping Kim and I gave you you're going to be really good. That's going to be good just remember to- um, sound professional, but you don't want to be too personal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Professional but not too- but not too personal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh and smile. Smile a lot. But not a very big smile, you just want to seem friendly and approachable. Um...
 '''Chris:''' That's not a problem, I- I- I intend to smile.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um well let's say [''laughing''] um, let's say they um… Some interviews they'll ask you to, uh, do a role-play to see how you handle problems within your um, your uh- fellow employees as well as a customer. Uh, did you want to try one, like with a- you can pretend to be a Target associate and I can pretend I'm a customer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but just to let you know in the uh in the thing- application I filled out online, they had the- it had the questions upon those situations- up on such situations.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but on paper's a lot different than it is when you're there.
 '''Chris:''' Or- or rather would you say ''on screen''? 'Cause it was- it was- I di- [''stutters beyond comprehension''] cause I did the thing online. [''slight chuckle'']
 '''Kacey:''' I know but those are just to screen people. Um, but yeah, it's still written word.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay well, alright well, let's go though a couple.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Let me… Uh, let's see here. You are in customer service and- Okay, you're in customer service and I'm coming up to your line. Okay, I just got to your line, what's the first thing you say? Then we'll go ahead and go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay… [''Chris's voice goes even higher for his "friendly voice"''] Good afternoon, ma'am, may I help you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly and irritated''] I want a refund, where's your manager?
 '''Chris:''' Heh, okay… Well I, well let's see ma'am, uh okay uh, let's just say you bought a blender, okay? Alright, well yeah I see your return- your retur- I see you… Alright, uh returning your blender ma'am, is there something wrong with the blender?
 '''Kacey:''' Just get the manager! I want to speak to a manager. YOU are not important enough, I need a manager.
 '''Chris:''' [''brief pause''] Well, ma'am, I am uh- I am uh- I am uh customer service rep here and I could certainly, uh- I could certainly- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well what can you do to help me with this?
 '''Chris:''' Uh…
 '''Kacey:''' I just want a refund, I want my cash back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am do you have the receipt?
 '''Kacey:''' No, of course I don't! I just want this to be taken back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am well we will certainly take it back, and I'll uh scan this back in and give ya a refund. Yeah, so, yeah, so… I look at it and scan it in make sure- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, you're not going to be able to do that, 'cause most associates aren't going to be able to. Um, you're going to have to be able to take care of these people right now, 'cause the correct thing to do is, um, to get them to explain the situation, try to calm them down, let them know they are important to you, but then you are going to have to get a manager because you're not going to have the access to refund it and most places will only give store credit, um, if you don't have a receipt, and sometimes they won't even take it back at all. Though you did try to handle it very well.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well… I will. I mean it's like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies for you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies with you so that you'll be able to better do these, I'm sure.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'll go over their policies with me, yeah. I was just thinking in like reference to, you know, I had to return a couple of things to Wal-Mart and that's pretty much what they did, uh, you know. They just took it and, uh, scanned it into the computer look and make sure they have it and the current price- the current price that comes up. And, uh, then they issued a refund.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're not going to be able to issue the refund, they're going to be able to. Wal-Mart does that, not Target. Their policies are gonna be a ''little'' different.
 '''Chris:''' Really? There are different polices between Wal-Mart and Target?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, every store has their own policy.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean they're different stores, they're not owned by the same company.
 '''Chris:''' …Okay. [''as if admitting defeat''] Alright, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that should be common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, maybe you should Google some more things about Target before you go to bed tonight, you know, so that uh- 'Cause they actually have their policies on their website. You should read up on those so you look informed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, read up on their policies, yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's always a good idea to know what- exactly what you're gonna be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. [''about to continue before Kacey speaks'']
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well let me let you go look those policies up and I will talk to you tomorrow. Uh, good luck!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, thank you, alright I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care and stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you, too.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, bye now.
 '''Kacey:''' Bye.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d326b8qix820q6s mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 20

2011-05-07T02:39:51Z

Emitter:

File Name: kc92109.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts talking about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Transcript==
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [''long pause''] I said I'm okay, how are you? [''audio is garbled'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [''Chris: "Yeah."''] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? ["Chris: "Yeah.""] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your ''professional'' life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years ''professionally''? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, Kim told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question''] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you would ''like'' to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [''speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"''] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well.
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you ''can'' work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [''sic, presumedly "adept?"''] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [''again pronounced "adapt"''] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' … Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''chuckling softly''] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [''long pause''] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [''Kacey: "Yes."''] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]]. Mm...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. They're not gonna really care about- say okay- you learned how to be more sociable, and, you learned the ins and outs of a working environment.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I've learned the ins and outsa working environment.
 '''Kacey:''' [''keyboard typing in background''] Yes. Okay um. Another question they're gunna ask you is. Um. uh. Also mention that- ah- you are good with dealing with c- ah- customers as well as their pr- fixing their problems efficiently. Um, and another question they're gonna ask is, usually, "How do you think you're education is prevail- has prepared you for this position?" [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' My education has prepared me... with a techna- technological experiences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you're just stocking, how is that going to help you?
 '''Chris:''' If I'm s- if I'm- yeah. Well… My education is uh. H-Has prepared me with org- with good organization skills. And uh. I'm- and a general understanding on how things are supposed to be put in what order. And uh… To follow such order.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay yeah. That's good, that's actually good it keeps you organized, and um, that's actually pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, hopefully you do really well.
 '''Chris:''' I'll do my best anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think with all the prepping Kim and I gave you you're going to be really good. That's going to be good just remember to- um, sound professional, but you don't want to be too personal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Professional but not too- but not too personal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh and smile. Smile a lot. But not a very big smile, you just want to seem friendly and approachable. Um...
 '''Chris:''' That's not a problem, I- I- I intend to smile.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um well let's say [''laughing''] um, let's say they um … Some interviews they'll ask you to, uh, do a role-play to see how you handle problems within your um, your uh- fellow employees as well as a customer. Uh, did you want to try one, like with a- you can pretend to be a Target associate and I can pretend I'm a customer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but just to let you know in the uh in the thing- application I filled out online, they had the- it had the questions upon those situations- up on such situations.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but on paper's a lot different than it is when you're there.
 '''Chris:''' Or- or rather would you say on screen? 'Cause it was- it was- I di- [''stutters beyond comprehension''] cause I did the thing online. [''slight chuckle'']
 '''Kacey:''' I know but those are just to screen people. Um, but yeah, it's still written word.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay well, alright well, let's go though a couple.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Let me… Uh, let's see here. You are in customer service and- Okay, you're in customer service and I'm coming up to your line. Okay, I just got to your line, what's the first thing you say? Then we'll go ahead and go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay… [''Chris' voice goes even higher for his "friendly voice"'']Good afternoon, ma'am, may I help you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly and irritated'']I want a refund, where's your manager?
 '''Chris:''' Heh, okay… Well I, well let's see ma'am, uh okay uh, let's just say you bought a blender, okay? Alright, well yeah I see your return- your retur- I see you… Alright, uh returning your blender ma'am, is there something wrong with the blender?
 '''Kacey:''' Just get the manager! I want to speak to a manager. YOU are not important enough, I need a manager.
 '''Chris:''' [''brief pause''] Well, ma'am, I am uh- I am uh- I am uh customer service rep here and I could certainly, uh- I could certainly- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well what can you do to help me with this?
 '''Chris:''' Uh…
 '''Kacey:''' I just want a refund, I want my cash back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am do you have the receipt?
 '''Kacey:''' No, of course I don't! I just want this to be taken back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am well we will certainly take it back, and I'll uh scan this back in and give ya a refund. Yeah, so, yeah, so… I look at it and scan it in make sure- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, you're not going to be able to do that, 'cause most associates aren't going to be able to. Um, you're going to have to be able to take care of these people right now, 'cause the correct thing to do is, um, to get them to explain the situation, try to calm them down, let them know they are important to you, but then you are going to have to get a manager because you're not going to have the access to refund it and most places will only give store credit, um, if you don't have a receipt, and sometimes they won't even take it back at all. Though you did try to handle it very well.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well… I will. I mean it's like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies for you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies with you so that you'll be able to better do these, I'm sure.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'll go over their policies with me, yeah. I was just thinking in like reference to, you know, I had to return a couple of things to Wal-Mart and that's pretty much what they did, uh, you know. They just took it and, uh, scanned it into the computer look and make sure they have it and the current price- the current price that comes up. And, uh, then they issued a refund.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're not going to be able to issue the refund, they're going to be able to. Wal-Mart does that, not Target. Their policies are gonna be a little different.
 '''Chris:''' Really? There are different polices between Wal-Mart and Target?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, every store has their own policy.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean they're different stores, they're not owned by the same company.
 '''Chris:''' … Okay. [''as if admitting defeat''] Alright, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that should be common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, maybe you should Google some more things about Target before you go to bed tonight, you know, so that uh- 'Cause they actually have their policies on their website. You should read up on those so you look informed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, read up on their policies, yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's always a good idea to know what- exactly what you're gonna be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. [''about to continue before Kacey speaks'']
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well let me let you go look those policies up and I will talk to you tomorrow. Uh, good luck!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, thank you, alright I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care and stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you, too.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, bye now.
 '''Kacey:''' Bye.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d326b8qix820q6s mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 20

2011-05-07T02:36:55Z

Emitter: /* Transcript */

A brief overview of the call:

File Name: kc92109.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts talking about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Transcript==
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [''long pause''] I said I'm okay, how are you? [''audio is garbled'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [''Chris: "Yeah."''] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? ["Chris: "Yeah.""] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your ''professional'' life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years ''professionally''? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, Kim told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question''] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you would ''like'' to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [''speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"''] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well.
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you ''can'' work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [''sic, presumedly "adept?"''] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [''again pronounced "adapt"''] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' … Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''chuckling softly''] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [''long pause''] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [''Kacey: "Yes."''] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]]. Mm...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. They're not gonna really care about- say okay- you learned how to be more sociable, and, you learned the ins and outs of a working environment.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I've learned the ins and outsa working environment.
 '''Kacey:''' [''keyboard typing in background''] Yes. Okay um. Another question they're gunna ask you is. Um. uh. Also mention that- ah- you are good with dealing with c- ah- customers as well as their pr- fixing their problems efficiently. Um, and another question they're gonna ask is, usually, "How do you think you're education is prevail- has prepared you for this position?" [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' My education has prepared me... with a techna- technological experiences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you're just stocking, how is that going to help you?
 '''Chris:''' If I'm s- if I'm- yeah. Well… My education is uh. H-Has prepared me with org- with good organization skills. And uh. I'm- and a general understanding on how things are supposed to be put in what order. And uh… To follow such order.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay yeah. That's good, that's actually good it keeps you organized, and um, that's actually pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, hopefully you do really well.
 '''Chris:''' I'll do my best anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think with all the prepping Kim and I gave you you're going to be really good. That's going to be good just remember to- um, sound professional, but you don't want to be too personal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Professional but not too- but not too personal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh and smile. Smile a lot. But not a very big smile, you just want to seem friendly and approachable. Um...
 '''Chris:''' That's not a problem, I- I- I intend to smile.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um well let's say [''laughing''] um, let's say they um … Some interviews they'll ask you to, uh, do a role-play to see how you handle problems within your um, your uh- fellow employees as well as a customer. Uh, did you want to try one, like with a- you can pretend to be a Target associate and I can pretend I'm a customer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but just to let you know in the uh in the thing- application I filled out online, they had the- it had the questions upon those situations- up on such situations.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but on paper's a lot different than it is when you're there.
 '''Chris:''' Or- or rather would you say on screen? 'Cause it was- it was- I di- [''stutters beyond comprehension''] cause I did the thing online. [''slight chuckle'']
 '''Kacey:''' I know but those are just to screen people. Um, but yeah, it's still written word.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay well, alright well, let's go though a couple.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Let me… Uh, let's see here. You are in customer service and- Okay, you're in customer service and I'm coming up to your line. Okay, I just got to your line, what's the first thing you say? Then we'll go ahead and go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay… [''Chris' voice goes even higher for his "friendly voice"'']Good afternoon, ma'am, may I help you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly and irritated'']I want a refund, where's your manager?
 '''Chris:''' Heh, okay… Well I, well let's see ma'am, uh okay uh, let's just say you bought a blender, okay? Alright, well yeah I see your return- your retur- I see you… Alright, uh returning your blender ma'am, is there something wrong with the blender?
 '''Kacey:''' Just get the manager! I want to speak to a manager. YOU are not important enough, I need a manager.
 '''Chris:''' [''brief pause''] Well, ma'am, I am uh- I am uh- I am uh customer service rep here and I could certainly, uh- I could certainly- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well what can you do to help me with this?
 '''Chris:''' Uh…
 '''Kacey:''' I just want a refund, I want my cash back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am do you have the receipt?
 '''Kacey:''' No, of course I don't! I just want this to be taken back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am well we will certainly take it back, and I'll uh scan this back in and give ya a refund. Yeah, so, yeah, so… I look at it and scan it in make sure- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, you're not going to be able to do that, 'cause most associates aren't going to be able to. Um, you're going to have to be able to take care of these people right now, 'cause the correct thing to do is, um, to get them to explain the situation, try to calm them down, let them know they are important to you, but then you are going to have to get a manager because you're not going to have the access to refund it and most places will only give store credit, um, if you don't have a receipt, and sometimes they won't even take it back at all. Though you did try to handle it very well.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well… I will. I mean it's like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies for you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies with you so that you'll be able to better do these, I'm sure.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'll go over their policies with me, yeah. I was just thinking in like reference to, you know, I had to return a couple of things to Wal-Mart and that's pretty much what they did, uh, you know. They just took it and, uh, scanned it into the computer look and make sure they have it and the current price- the current price that comes up. And, uh, then they issued a refund.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're not going to be able to issue the refund, they're going to be able to. Wal-Mart does that, not Target. Their policies are gonna be a little different.
 '''Chris:''' Really? There are different polices between Wal-Mart and Target?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, every store has their own policy.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean they're different stores, they're not owned by the same company.
 '''Chris:''' … Okay. [''as if admitting defeat''] Alright, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that should be common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, maybe you should Google some more things about Target before you go to bed tonight, you know, so that uh- 'Cause they actually have their policies on their website. You should read up on those so you look informed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, read up on their policies, yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's always a good idea to know what- exactly what you're gonna be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. [''about to continue before Kacey speaks'']
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well let me let you go look those policies up and I will talk to you tomorrow. Uh, good luck!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, thank you, alright I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care and stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you, too.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, bye now.
 '''Kacey:''' Bye.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d326b8qix820q6s mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 20

2011-05-07T02:33:55Z

Emitter: finished transcription (14:09-21:47)

A brief overview of the call:

File Name: kc92109.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts talking about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Transcript==
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [''long pause''] I said I'm okay, how are you? [''audio is garbled'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [''Chris: "Yeah."''] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? ["Chris: "Yeah.""] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your ''professional'' life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years ''professionally''? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, Kim told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question''] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you would ''like'' to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [''speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"''] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well.
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you ''can'' work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [''sic, presumedly "adept?"''] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [''again pronounced "adapt"''] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' … Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''chuckling softly''] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [''long pause''] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [''Kacey: "Yes."''] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]]. Mm...
 '''Kacey:''' 
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. They're not gonna really care about- say okay- you learned how to be more sociable, and, you learned the ins and outs of a working environment.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I've learned the ins and outsa working environment.
 '''Kacey:''' [''keyboard typing in background''] Yes. Okay um. Another question they're gunna ask you is. Um. uh. Also mention that- ah- you are good with dealing with c- ah- customers as well as their pr- fixing their problems efficiently. Um, and another question they're gonna ask is, usually, "How do you think you're education is prevail- has prepared you for this position?" [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' My education has prepared me... with a techna- technological experiences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you're just stocking, how is that going to help you?
 '''Chris:''' If I'm s- if I'm- yeah. Well… My education is uh. H-Has prepared me with org- with good organization skills. And uh. I'm- and a general understanding on how things are supposed to be put in what order. And uh… To follow such order.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay yeah. That's good, that's actually good it keeps you organized, and um, that's actually pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, hopefully you do really well.
 '''Chris:''' I'll do my best anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think with all the prepping Kim and I gave you you're going to be really good. That's going to be good just remember to- um, sound professional, but you don't want to be too personal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Professional but not too- but not too personal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh and smile. Smile a lot. But not a very big smile, you just want to seem friendly and approachable. Um...
 '''Chris:''' That's not a problem, I- I- I intend to smile.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um well let's say [''laughing''] um, let's say they um … Some interviews they'll ask you to, uh, do a role-play to see how you handle problems within your um, your uh- fellow employees as well as a customer. Uh, did you want to try one, like with a- you can pretend to be a Target associate and I can pretend I'm a customer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but just to let you know in the uh in the thing- application I filled out online, they had the- it had the questions upon those situations- up on such situations.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but on paper's a lot different than it is when you're there.
 '''Chris:''' Or- or rather would you say on screen? 'Cause it was- it was- I di- [''stutters beyond comprehension''] cause I did the thing online. [''slight chuckle'']
 '''Kacey:''' I know but those are just to screen people. Um, but yeah, it's still written word.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay well, alright well, let's go though a couple.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Let me… Uh, let's see here. You are in customer service and- Okay, you're in customer service and I'm coming up to your line. Okay, I just got to your line, what's the first thing you say? Then we'll go ahead and go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay… [''Chris' voice goes even higher for his "friendly voice"'']Good afternoon, ma'am, may I help you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly and irritated'']I want a refund, where's your manager?
 '''Chris:''' Heh, okay… Well I, well let's see ma'am, uh okay uh, let's just say you bought a blender, okay? Alright, well yeah I see your return- your retur- I see you… Alright, uh returning your blender ma'am, is there something wrong with the blender?
 '''Kacey:''' Just get the manager! I want to speak to a manager. YOU are not important enough, I need a manager.
 '''Chris:''' [''brief pause''] Well, ma'am, I am uh- I am uh- I am uh customer service rep here and I could certainly, uh- I could certainly- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well what can you do to help me with this?
 '''Chris:''' Uh…
 '''Kacey:''' I just want a refund, I want my cash back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am do you have the receipt?
 '''Kacey:''' No, of course I don't! I just want this to be taken back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am well we will certainly take it back, and I'll uh scan this back in and give ya a refund. Yeah, so, yeah, so… I look at it and scan it in make sure- [''is cut off by Kacey''
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, you're not going to be able to do that, 'cause most associates aren't going to be able to. Um, you're going to have to be able to take care of these people right now, 'cause the correct thing to do is, um, to get them to explain the situation, try to calm them down, let them know they are important to you, but then you are going to have to get a manager because you're not going to have the access to refund it and most places will only give store credit, um, if you don't have a receipt, and sometimes they won't even take it back at all. Though you did try to handle it very well. 
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well… I will. I mean it's like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies for you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies with you so that you'll be able to better do these, I'm sure.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'll go over their policies with me, yeah. I was just thinking in like reference to, you know, I had to return a couple of things to Wal-Mart and that's pretty much what they did, uh, you know. They just took it and, uh, scanned it into the computer look and make sure they have it and the current price- the current price that comes up. And, uh, then they issued a refund.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're not going to be able to issue the refund, they're going to be able to. Wal-Mart does that, not Target. Their policies are gonna be a little different.
 '''Chris:''' Really? There are different polices between Wal-Mart and Target?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, every store has their own policy.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean they're different stores, they're not owned by the same company.
 '''Chris:''' … Okay. [''as if admitting defeat''] Alright, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that should be common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, maybe you should Google some more things about Target before you go to bed tonight, you know, so that uh- 'Cause they actually have their policies on their website. You should read up on those so you look informed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, read up on their policies, yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's always a good idea to know what- exactly what you're gonna be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. [''about to continue before Kacey speaks'']
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well let me let you go look those policies up and I will talk to you tomorrow. Uh, good luck!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, thank you, alright I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care and stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you, too.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, bye now.
 '''Kacey:''' Bye.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d326b8qix820q6s mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2011-05-06T06:13:41Z

Emitter:

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Fattus goddammus'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Solid loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Ian's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Ian responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Ian only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Solid Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Ian is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Ian begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Ian states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Ian declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Ian of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Ian is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Ian doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Ian whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Ian to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Transcript==

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that.
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society.
 [''long pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the wilds of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' [''unintelligible''] It was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 [''tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 20

2011-04-06T10:31:17Z

Emitter:

Just a brief overview until the entire call is transcribed.

File Name: kc92109.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts talking about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Transcript==
{{transcription}}
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [long pause] I said I'm okay, how are you? [audio is garbled]
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep? 
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [Chris: "Yeah."] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up. 
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? [Chris: "Yeah."] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your professional life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years professionally? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it. 
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities. 
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, Kim told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. 
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah. 
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you wouldlike to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well. 
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you can work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [sic, presumedly "adept?"] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [again pronounced "adapt"] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' … Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [chuckling softly] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [long pause] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities. 
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about. 
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [Kacey: "Yes."] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]].

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d326b8qix820q6s mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

User:Emitter

2011-04-06T10:22:55Z

Emitter: page creation

I'm just this fucking guy, you know
{{Americunt}}
{{HellAndBack}}
{{JERK}}
{{Agnostic}}
{{Scampers}}
{{Squirtle}}

Kacey Call 20

2011-04-06T09:11:34Z

Emitter: /* Transcript */ 8:18-14:08

Just a brief overview until the entire call is transcribed.

File Name: kc92109.mp3

*[[Chris]] instantly starts talking about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Transcript==
{{transcription}}
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [long pause]
 '''Chris:''' I said I'm okay, how are you? [audio is garbled]
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep? 
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [Chris: "Yeah."] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up. 
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? [Chris: "Yeah."] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your professional life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years professionally? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it. 
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities. 
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, Kim told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. 
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah. 
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you wouldlike to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well. 
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you can work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [sic, presumedly "adept?"] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [again pronounced "adapt"] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' … Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [chuckling softly] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [There is a long pause while Kacey assesses the damages] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities. 
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about. 
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [Kacey: "Yes."] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]].

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d326b8qix820q6s mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

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[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 20

2011-04-03T21:01:11Z

Emitter: /* Transcript */ 3:21-8:17

Kacey Call 20

2011-04-02T23:36:48Z

Emitter:

Kacey Call 20

2011-04-02T23:34:06Z

Emitter: 0:00-3:21 transcibed