CWCki - User contributions [en]

Bob Walks In

2011-09-18T21:55:44Z

ErsatzHouse:

{{Honest}}
{{quote|
Go tell that [[Lies|long tongue liar]]
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the [[Speech Impediment|rambler]], the [[Chris and money|gambler]], the [[homos|back biter]]
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down|Johnny Cash, giving Bob instructions}}

'''''Bob Walks In''''' is the most famous of the cybersex chats with [[Julie]], in which [[Chris]] is caught [[masturbating]] by his late father, [[Bob]].

==Background==
[[Image:Aiko-Chris's New Bird.jpg|thumb|right|140px|What Chris imagines Julie looks like...]]
The Chandler family [[14 Branchland Court|home]] only has one [[computer]], and it's in the [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]]. Every time Chris wants to engage in cyber sex, he's [[Mass Debating|spanking it]] in the middle of the bloody kitchen.

[[February 2009|Valentine's Night, 2009]]: Chris was on a hot e-date with his ONE, TRUE AND HONEST SWEETHEART [[Julie]], and once again engaged in some hot furry sex, similar to the [[CWC_Cums_for_a_Cat|night before]]. Chris was moaning sexy, sweaty nothings into the microphone as he furiously pounded his bent [[duck]]. Unbeknown to Chris, trolls were tipped off that Chris was firing some [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|knuckle children]] and were dedicated to having Chris experience an awkward moment that would require Bob to watch his son stroking his bent duck, yelling like a horny retard. Four calls were made, the first three failing as Bob told them that Chris was "sleeping" (even though Chris was screaming "JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" at the time). The final call, made by [[Miscreants]] agent [[Bryan Bash]], called up and told Bob "OH MY GOD, CHRIS MADE A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE AND SAID HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF! YOU GOTTA STOP HIM!"

Bob dropped the phone, ran up the stairs and walked into his son's most intimate moment, and was, justifiably, horrified and appalled. In a rare moment of parental authority, he threatened to punish Chris by "cutting down the Internet." Chris, used to having things his way throughout his whole life, was appalled, confused and no longer aroused. The recording ends after Robert's many futile attempts to shut down the computer finally succeed.

This can be considered the pinnacle of the ongoing Chris-chan saga, as it represents a moment where Chris actually feels negative repercussions for his Internet behavior. It contains many memorable lines and is the height of emotional drama.

Julie's side of this erotic scene can be read [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|here]].

== Prelude ==
The following is Chris's phone sex session with Julie prior to Bob walking in. Throughout this whole audio, Chris bangs into stuff and whacks his keyboard while fapping and making slurping sounds (suggesting Chris [[fail|fails]] at performing even imaginary cunnilingus). If you love your life, it is advised that you do not read this transcript.

=== Chris Gets Started ===
Hey, Julie! (Says something "Molvanîa") Ah yeah, good, you're on me. Alright, alright... you do that, mmmm. Oh... ''(Rustling, possibly taking off clothes)'' Ooooh...! Oh-ho-ho! Alright, yeah, I'm (indistinct) clothes. Ok. Yep, I'm lying on the bed... do what you will... mmkay. Ahhhhh... I could take a good guess... very horny. Believe me, I've been very horny... before. Ohhh! Hhhh... Oh my... Oh my... Mmmm... actually, I'm breathing okay... mmm... Oh yeah. Cause is- cause it got stiff... for you. Mmmmm... Ahhh, ahhh yeah. Mmm... (spits on his hands) Okay, I'm licking your pussy while you're sitting on my face. Oh boy... Hhhh... Mmmmm... Mmmm... Oh... Okay, but you know, just so you know, I learned that farts- farts on one's face causes [[Pink_eye|pink-eye]]. Ali- alri- alright, I'll let it go this time. I don't touch my eyes all that much anyway, but this time yeah... ''(begins fapping)'' Oh yeah. ''(slurp slurp slurp smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh yeah... mmmm.... Oh yeah. ''(smack smack smack)'' mmmm... mmm... ''(slurp slurp slurp)'' Oh... mmm... You're facing mine as well. Oh boy, yeahhhh... that's good. Mmm. Mmmm... ''(smack smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Oh... ''(fapping gets louder)'' Mmm!

=== Adventures in China ===
''(Sporadic Windows beeping throughout)''Mmm... Oh yeah... Mmm... ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmm... mmmmmmmm... Meeee-yeowww. mmm... ahhh, that's fine. ''(smack smack smack)'' Mmmm... ''(faps even harder, banging into stuff)'' I was kind of expecting this myself. ''(faps even more hard'') Yeah... So do I... mmmm... ''(fapping is very loud at this point)'' Ahhhh! MMm... ''(phone rings)'' Mmm... Mmmm... I love you too, Julie... you are, you are...

It's very good. Mmm... Ohhhh yeah, it's awesome... Awesome. Ah... ah yeah... ''(fapping speeds up)'' Mmm... Go ahead, be rougher, rougher... Mmmm... Ahhh... MMm... Oh yeah... mmm... Oh yeah, yeah... Oh YEAH, Julie, Julieeeeeeee, Julie!!! mmmh... ahhh... JULAYYYYYYYY! JULayyyyyyyy, JULAaaaay... JULAY!!!! Julay... JULaaAaaAaaaAaaaAaAAAAAYY!!! ''(phone rings)'' Jullayyyy... ''(phone rings again)'' Mmm... ah, don't worry about that, my father will get it... he got it.... Continue. Mm... Julie... JULAAAAAY... Julaaaaaaaaah.

Oh yeah... oh yeah... oh yeah... mmm... oh... mmm?? ''(phone rings)'' mmm... get on me... I want... to be INSIDE YOU!... Oh yeah... not yet... mmm. ''(smack smack smack slurp slurp)'' Pump it in? mmmf... ah... oh yeah... no problem... ahhhh... mmmm YEAH!! mmmf... ''(faps very hard)'' ahh... mmmm... oh yeah... oooooh yeah... ah! yeah... yeaahhh!!! mmmf... (breathing heavily, bangs into something while fapping) mmm... ''(phone rings)'' mmm... no it's okay, my father will get it, don't worry about it... keep going... it's already been got... please, I'm getting close myself... C'mon Julie... mmf... ahhh... mmm... mmm... oh yeah...

''Bob walks in at this point. Chris stops fapping.''

==Daddy catches Chris having one off the wrist==
{{quote|Get away from the Internet, I'm cutting it down!!!|Bob "The Internet Lumberjack" Chandler}}
{{quote|NO DAD, NO!|Chris, during [[Hanky-Panky|Goofy Time]].}}

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|ricmZy9VZMM}}
</center>

==Transcript==
'''Bob''': Christian, what are you doing? [''slurp smack'']
 '''Chris''': ''[immediately stops fapping, but knocks several things over]'' Nothing.
 '''Bob''': I’m getting all these crazy damn calls. What're you doing?
 '''Chris''': Nothing.
 '''Bob''': Don't give me that crap. Now, what’s going on?
 '''Chris''': Dad, will you get out of here?
 '''Bob''': No. [''string of Windows beeps''] I will not. [[Bryan Bash|People]] tell me that you’re about to kill yourself on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Bob''': What are you doing?
 '''Chris''': I'm not doin' anything.
 '''Bob''': Want me to wake your mother up and find out?
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Well then get out of here, and off that Internet.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': What is your trouble?
 '''Chris''': I am not going to kill myself.
 '''Bob''': Get away from that TV.
 '''Chris''': Fine.
 '''Bob''': Get away from the Internet. I'm cuttin' it down, right now.
 '''Chris''': NO, DAD, NO!
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': What are you doin'?
 
 [''long pause, what sounds like the kitchen sink running, keys clicking on the keyboard, then single Windows beep'']
 
 '''Chris''': Don't do it, Dad.
 '''Bob''': I’m gonna shut this thing right down.
 '''Chris''': No.
 '''Bob''': Yes.
 '''Chris''': No! [''pause''] Dad, no. Stop!
 '''Bob''': Go wake your mother up; don’t bother me. Okay? [''pause'']Go wake your [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] up! Don’t bother me!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': Go and wake your mother up!
 '''Chris''': Ugh.
 '''Bob''': You tell mm-her what’s going on. This thing is gonna go down.
 '''Chris''': No!
 '''Bob''': Yes!

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?tkrkgo0yoft Download]
*[http://www.slutload.com/watch/gEnIQ5EQM9C/Chris-chan-caught-fapping-by-his-dad.html Mirror]

{{FanChats}}

Michael Snyder

2011-09-18T21:54:11Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Continued Resentment */

{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! '''JEW!'''|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris apologizing to Michael.]]}}

{{quote|He probably will.|Michael Snyder to the above.}}

[[File:2004 merchant of venice 008.jpg|thumb|Michael Snyder, the dirty <s>Jew</s> gentile.]]
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

'''Michael "Mike" Snyder''' (born late July/early August 1956<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</ref>) is the [[manajerk|manager]] (but not owner)<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A]]</ref> at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the hero responsible for banning [[Chris]] from the store. According to Chris, he hated his guts. It's easy to see why. Oddly enough, this is the only manager of any store who pissed Chris off and was never referred to as a [[manajerk]].

Although Chris had [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|fumblingly attempted to apologize]] to Michael in a video in March 2009, his clumsy facade of contrition is not difficult to see through; it is, in reality, not contrition but ''attrition''! In [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|a later video]], Chris still clearly harbors resentment towards being banned, at one point adding an annotation accusing Michael of being "A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL". This further confirms that, in Chris's eyes, anyone who makes Chris angry or doesn't give him what he wants must be a [[troll]].

==Chris's Antisemitism==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris being his usual humble self.]]}}

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself, rather like Al Pacino, whom you see up there, is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris links Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", greed being a another Jewish stereotype, and wishes him to Hell together with the trolls. Chris seems to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

== Chris attempts Murder ==
{{main|6 June 2010}}
{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his car. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.|Michael in a YouTube comment.}}

==Continued Resentment==
[[Matthew_Noble_call|In an August 2010 phone call]], we learned that Bob and Snorlax believed Michael Snyder (along with Megan, Lucas, and Mimms) to have been the original troll. They are convinced that Michael, along with Megan and some homosexuals (likely [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), conspired to ban Chris from The GAMe PLACe for being autistic. Said conspiracy goes on to blame Michael for every stupid thing Chris did in the last few years, going so far as to accuse him of breaking into Chris's checking account and stealing his credit card around the beginning of the month.

More recently, in [[Lars Call|a phone conversation with model boat enthusiast Lars McNulty]], Chris claimed that he would "be poppin' a cap in that old Michael Snyder ass" if he had a "[[Megatron pistol|real life gun]]". Although he was probably just talking big to try and impress Lars, this isn't the [[CWC is Angry|first time]] Chris has expressed [[Gun Comic|a desire to gun down]] somebody he believes has wronged him.

In the [[Autism Tutorial]] from February 2011, Chris express his wish for the [[wikipedia:Kristallnacht|The GAMe PLACe to be burned down]] along with [[wikipedia:The Holocaust|Michael Snyder]].

Chris's hatred of Michael hit a new low when he went on a diatribe in the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] videos. Chris, having no evidence by his own admission, accused Michael of being a part of a [[pedophilia]] conspiracy with the owner of the Game Place, topping it all off with saying he probably molests his own daughter.

==Mike's opinion of Chris==
Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments.

{{quote|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder|Comment<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</ref>}}

==See also==
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]
*[[Daniel Mimms]]
*[[Lucas]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube Account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Manajerks]]

Minor Family Members

2011-09-18T21:50:55Z

ErsatzHouse: /* David Chandler */

[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has several '''minor family members''' who aren't important enough for their own articles. Generally those family members beyond the confines of [[14 Branchland Court]] lead relatively normal lives.

==Chandler family==

=== Carol Chandler ===

'''Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler''' (born 7 July 1969)<ref>[[:Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref> is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late [[Bob Chandler]].

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "[[Chris and English#Spelling|Geinus]]" [sic] and "wiz". She won the [[1980s#1988|1988]] Mathematics department McShane Prize at the [[University of Virginia]].<ref>[http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/mathematics/newsevents/awards/index.html Department of Mathematics], University of Virginia</ref>

Carol attended [[Providence Middle School]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Later, she was a member of [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]]. She earned a Ph.D. and is working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

=== David Chandler ===
[[Image:Davidchandler.jpg|right|thumb|David Alan Chandler, Call 1-900-DOCTORB. The B is for bargain!]]

'''Dr. David Alan Chandler''' (born 28 November 1962<ref>http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/8/83/457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG</ref>)<ref>http://www.healthgrades.com/directory_search/physician/profiles/dr-md-reports/dr-david-chandler-md-0ef7119f.cfm</ref> is an ophthalmologist (eye doctor/surgeon) in [[Richmond]], Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of [[Bob Chandler]] and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris.

David went to high school in [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]],<ref name="richmondeye.com">[http://www.richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp]</ref> studied medicine at [[Wikipedia:Virginia Commonwealth University|Virginia Commonwealth University]], and trained at [[Wikipedia:Washington Hospital Center|Washington Hospital Center]].<ref>[http://www.wellness.com/dir/2474208/ophthalmologist/va/glen-allen/david-chandler-richmond-eye-associates-md]</ref> He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,<ref>[http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/david-chandler.asp?cycle=08]</ref> showing that, at least, he agreed with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.<ref name="richmondeye.com"/> David has a wife named Kimberly, who is also the mother of Savannah.

Very little is known about him, apart that Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January [[2004]] and that Chris wasn't aware that David had a daughter by the name of Savannah, making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather.

Suffice to say, this is further evidence that the Chandler family bonds are "strained" at best.

[[CWC's Diary|Diary]] entry:
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

=== Savannah Chandler ===
'''Savannah Chandler''' is Chris's half-niece and daughter of [[David Alan Chandler]] (Chris's half-brother).

Virtually zero information on her exists other than the fact that she was eight years old as of the very first week of [[2004]], which would mean she was most likely born in [[1990s#1995|1995]] or possibly in the first week of [[1990s#1996|1996]].

It's assumed that Chris has never met Savannah, as he has never provided any further information about her since his aforementioned ''January 6, [[2004]]'' blog entry about him discovering that she existed.
==Weston family==
=== Jonathan Carey ===
[[Image:JohnKerry.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's cousin?]]

Jonathan Carey<ref>http://www.woodfuneralservice.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=55269&MName=Corrina%20Weston%20Carey%20Inge</ref> is a distant relative of Chris (the son of Barbara's sister's brother-in-law), who was married on the last weekend of June, [[2009]]. He lives in Red Oak, [[Virginia]]. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did [[lies|not murder]] [[Billy Mays]].

June 2009 Wedding Photos
<gallery>
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 2.jpg
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 3.png
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 4.jpg
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|And an unwanted gift, too!
</gallery>

===Uncle Raymond ===
Uncle Raymond is Chris's uncle, and presumably Jonathan's father. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the brother of [[Barbara|Snorlax]], making Jonathan her nephew.

===Aunt Harriet===
[[Image:0039-AuntHerriet.jpg|thumb|left|This is pretty much all we've got.]]
[[File:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|thumb|right|Save for this.]]
'''Harriet Ashby''' (née '''Weston''') is Barbara's sister, seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT.
{{clear}}
== Miscellaneous ==

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember. |Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== External links ==
*[http://www.richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp Dr. Chandler's profile]

==See also==
*[[Cole Smithey]]
*[[Aunt Corina]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

Minor Family Members

2011-09-18T21:50:15Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Carol Chandler */

[[Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 1.jpg|thumb|right|It's a Chandler family reunion! From bottom left, clockwise: Uncle Raymond, Cousin Jonathan, [[Christian]], [[Bob]], and everyone's favorite, [[Yawning Squirtle]].]]
[[Chris]]'s family has several '''minor family members''' who aren't important enough for their own articles. Generally those family members beyond the confines of [[14 Branchland Court]] lead relatively normal lives.

==Chandler family==

=== Carol Chandler ===

'''Dr. Carol Suzanne Chandler''' (born 7 July 1969)<ref>[[:Image:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref> is Chris's half-sister and daughter of the late [[Bob Chandler]].

According to Chris, Carol is a Math "[[Chris and English#Spelling|Geinus]]" [sic] and "wiz". She won the [[1980s#1988|1988]] Mathematics department McShane Prize at the [[University of Virginia]].<ref>[http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/mathematics/newsevents/awards/index.html Department of Mathematics], University of Virginia</ref>

Carol attended [[Providence Middle School]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Later, she was a member of [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]]. She earned a Ph.D. and is working for the federal government in Washington, D.C.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

=== David Chandler ===
[[Image:Davidchandler.jpg|right|thumb|David Alan Chandler, Call 1-900-DOCTORB. The B is for bargain!]]

'''Dr. David Alan Chandler''' (born 28 November 1962<ref>http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/8/83/457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG</ref>)<ref>http://www.healthgrades.com/directory_search/physician/profiles/dr-md-reports/dr-david-chandler-md-0ef7119f.cfm</ref> is an ophthalmologist (eye doctor/surgeon) in [[Richmond]], Glen Allen and Mechanicsville, Virginia, son of [[Bob Chandler]] and Bob's ex wife Patricia, and older half-brother to Chris.

David went to high school in [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]],<ref name="richmondeye.com">[http://www.richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp]</ref> studied medicine at [[Wikipedia:Virginia Commonwealth University|Virginia Commonwealth University]], and trained at [[Wikipedia:Washington Hospital Center|Washington Hospital Center]].<ref>[http://www.wellness.com/dir/2474208/ophthalmologist/va/glen-allen/david-chandler-richmond-eye-associates-md]</ref> He has donated at least $1,000 to the Republican Party,<ref>[http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/contributions/david-chandler.asp?cycle=08]</ref> showing that, at least, he agrees with his father on politics. He specializes in small incision cataract extraction with lens implant, medical and surgical management of glaucoma, and the diagnosis and treatment of diabetic eye disease.<ref name="richmondeye.com"/> David has a wife named Kimberly, who is also the mother of Savannah.

Very little is known about him, apart that Chris had an eye exam with him on 6 January [[2004]] and that Chris wasn't aware that David had a daughter by the name of Savannah, making Chris an uncle and Bob a grandfather.

Suffice to say, this is further evidence that the Chandler family bonds are "strained" at best.

[[CWC's Diary|Diary]] entry:
{{quote|'''January 6:''' Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist [''sic''], and big half-brother, Dr. David Alan Chandler, for an Eye-Exam. I needed new lenses, but I can keep my [[Pedo-glasses|current frames]]. But apparently, he has an 8-year-old daughter, Savannah. So for about 8 years, I’ve been an uncle and didn’t know it. Of course, this also makes my parents into grandparents as well. Needless to say, we were happy to know about that.|Christian Weston Chandler}}

=== Savannah Chandler ===
'''Savannah Chandler''' is Chris's half-niece and daughter of [[David Alan Chandler]] (Chris's half-brother).

Virtually zero information on her exists other than the fact that she was eight years old as of the very first week of [[2004]], which would mean she was most likely born in [[1990s#1995|1995]] or possibly in the first week of [[1990s#1996|1996]].

It's assumed that Chris has never met Savannah, as he has never provided any further information about her since his aforementioned ''January 6, [[2004]]'' blog entry about him discovering that she existed.
==Weston family==
=== Jonathan Carey ===
[[Image:JohnKerry.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's cousin?]]

Jonathan Carey<ref>http://www.woodfuneralservice.com/obituary.aspx?MemberId=55269&MName=Corrina%20Weston%20Carey%20Inge</ref> is a distant relative of Chris (the son of Barbara's sister's brother-in-law), who was married on the last weekend of June, [[2009]]. He lives in Red Oak, [[Virginia]]. According to Chris, his presence at the wedding is proof that he did [[lies|not murder]] [[Billy Mays]].

June 2009 Wedding Photos
<gallery>
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 2.jpg
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 3.png
Image:Chris june2009 cousin wedding photo 4.jpg
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|And an unwanted gift, too!
</gallery>

===Uncle Raymond ===
Uncle Raymond is Chris's uncle, and presumably Jonathan's father. According to Chris, Uncle Raymond can be contacted as a witness to Chris at Jonathan's wedding. Raymond is the brother of [[Barbara|Snorlax]], making Jonathan her nephew.

===Aunt Harriet===
[[Image:0039-AuntHerriet.jpg|thumb|left|This is pretty much all we've got.]]
[[File:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|thumb|right|Save for this.]]
'''Harriet Ashby''' (née '''Weston''') is Barbara's sister, seems to admire the American presidents, and considering the number of flags she has on her Christmas tree, she is a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT.
{{clear}}
== Miscellaneous ==

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember. |Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}

== Sources ==
<references />

== External links ==
*[http://www.richmondeye.com/physician_profile_chandler.asp Dr. Chandler's profile]

==See also==
*[[Cole Smithey]]
*[[Aunt Corina]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

Cole Smithey

2011-09-18T21:47:12Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Relationship with Barbara and Bob */

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail #1]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Ron Coleman Yeatts
[[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son, and one of the successful escapees from the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Cole wasn't on good terms with [[Bob]] and not even with [[Barbara]]. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather [[Jerry]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." [[Bob]] wasn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather to Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself.<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]],<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save "[[Julie]]").

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's [[nudes]] were sent from his e-mail in [[September 2008]], Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY E-MAIL AGAIN."

===Cole in the comics===
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Personal success==
Cole resided in California for 16 years and has been in New York since around [[1996]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 1]]</ref> Cole lives with his wife Katherine, has been called "the smartest film critic in the world,"<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]</ref> and plays guitar in a jazz band.<ref name="email07-03-06p3">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 3]]</ref>.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
</gallery></center>

==Acting==
Cole Smithey acting in a Gaumont produced student film shot in Cannes during the '92 Festival.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|U_tmTKDDOk4}}</center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_tmTKDDOk4&feature=mh_lolz&list=HL1315402139 Cole Smithey acting in a Gaumont produced student film shot in Cannes during the '92 Festival. ]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

14 Branchland Court

2011-09-18T21:38:52Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Mail */

{{Honest}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|meAO487S0zM}}</center>
{{quote|One does not simply walk into 14 Branchland Court. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the great Man-child is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with video games and sex toys, the very air you breath is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this, it is folly.|[[YouTube]] comment, dragonslayer396}}

[[Image:Fullfrontalfilth.gif|thumb|The most complete view of the front. Note the [[Sonichu]] drawn in the snow.]]
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!]]
[[Image:Chris house.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
[[Image:Chandlerhousegooglemaps.jpg|thumb|Another aerial image of the Chandler House.]]
[[Image:BranchlandCourt.jpg|thumb|A more accurate depiction of 14 Branchland Court]]

'''14 Branchland Court''' is the lair of the [[Chandler]] Clan. It is a white (now yellowed to ivory) two-story house trimmed in [[homos|pink]] (faded from a dark red) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of [[Ruckersville, VA]]. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house itself reeks of the early [[1980s]], having tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding; it probably hasn't been re-sided in years. As a result of its dated look, in addition to the decaying gardens and overgrown yard, it has done a number on local property values.

As of [[2009#March|March 2009]], all space not used for walking or sleeping appeared to be packed full of junk. However, in earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday [2002], for instance), the house was once quite tidy. In his [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]], Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller in the past decade. "Clutter" is, of course, a horrible understatement. The house is packed with crap. Its former living room is unusable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within two feet of the ceiling. Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid blocks of shit, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|"THAT IS MY HOUSE"]] revealed that Chris's parents are aware of the house's condition (what with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and fear that [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's video tours]] may elicit the attention of the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. Trolls made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to simple maintenance, like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts appear to be just enough to keep him from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis.

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a computer, but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Apparently, Bob was too lazy or unwilling to provoke a fight, as he just stopped using the computer.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

==History==
Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from the time he was born until his family moved him to the Richmond area, some distance away, in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. After the move, which took place in the fall of 1992, Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held down the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in 2000 after Chris graduated high school. In a [[100 2178|video]] released in May 2010, Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. (He attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system; but, as this article will explain, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.)

==The Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain". |Chris to [[Julie]]<ref><BlueSpike_Skype_Logs_5]]</ref>}}
In two videos uploaded on [[2009#March|27 March 2009]], Chris provides a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so full of shit that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court.

==First floor==
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the music room", which is now primarily the domain of [[Barbara Chandler]], who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the utility room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by the late [[Bob Chandler]], who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.

==Second floor==
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barbara]] moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in [[April 2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

[[Chris's room]] is in the northern corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the eastern corner, is a filthy bathroom, which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown or green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses for Internet access seems to be in this part of the house, as is a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] over a webcam feed. This implies that Snorlax (and Bob, when he was still with us) never actually leave the areas in which they sleep and spend their days there, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wants]] undisturbed. The living room, packed with boxes and shit, is across the stairway from Chris's room.

==Yard==
On first examination, you'd be forgiven for mistaking Chris's yard for Silent Hill. It consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since [[Chris and death|died]], probably due to a [[Dirty crapped briefs|dark stench]] poisoning the air. The backyard contains a shed and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where The Lumberjack would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where [[Patti]] once played. Her doghouse still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being the lazy-ass pansy that he is, Chris cannot summon the strength to pick the damn thing up.

However, in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start the [[Fuck Quest]]), we can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and healthy trees. Many people speculate that over the years, Chris's parents have gotten too old or too lazy to care for their garden, leaving the area neglected.

As of [[August 2010]], it is very apparent that Chris's parents have completely given up on lawn care, with none of the grass cut at all. Many of the grass and weeds surrounding the house are almost four feet tall, obscuring many parts of the residence altogether.

==Mail==
{{quote|Hand-Written and Hand-Drawn Submissions are also accepted, ONLY addressed to: Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968. ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well.|Chris on contacting him, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia]|2=[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia copyright page]}}

If you would like to send a letter to Christian, or perhaps mail hid mother some of the many [[nudes|NOODZ]] he has posted on the Internets in recent times, you can contact him at:

:''Christian Weston Chandler,''
:''14 Branchland Court,''
:''[[Ruckersville]],'' [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545,''
:''[[United States of America]]''

'''NOTE:'''
:Based on previous experience with mail, it is likely that one of two things will happen to the letter should you choose to send it: 1.) It will be intercepted by Chris, who apparently takes his parents' (now that Bob kicked it, his mother's) mail on a regular basis, or 2.) Barbara will receive it, and dismiss it as old news (reports show that his parents have read some of the letters and ignored them).

Chris will respond to fan mail, provided there's a return address on the envelope.

==Visiting==
Visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and promptly trades the deed to a troll for some magic beans so said troll can found the "Christian Weston Chandler Museum of Fail", are ill-advised. While a troll who does manage to make it to the front door will probably not be assaulted by Chris, they will most likely face Chris as he calls for his elderly parents to fight his battle or perform a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].

To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned whilst Chris hides, crying, behind his mother.

In an E-mail between [[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] and an A&E employee in March 2011, It was revealed that A&E attempted to film an episode of Hoarders, but Barb or Bob slammed the door in their face.

==Chris and his address==
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Possibly Chris didn't realize this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA]]
* [[Charlottesville, VA]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Chris's homes]]

==External links==
Other famous hoarders:
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers The Collyer Brothers] - Infamous NY hoarders who ended up being crushed to death by their own shit.
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Trebus Edmund Trebus] -An eccentric Polish immigrant who ended up being a TV star because of his hoarding.

==References==
<references />

{{Places}}

[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

14 Branchland Court

2011-09-18T21:37:24Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Second floor */

{{Honest}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|meAO487S0zM}}</center>
{{quote|One does not simply walk into 14 Branchland Court. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the great Man-child is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with video games and sex toys, the very air you breath is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this, it is folly.|[[YouTube]] comment, dragonslayer396}}

[[Image:Fullfrontalfilth.gif|thumb|The most complete view of the front. Note the [[Sonichu]] drawn in the snow.]]
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!]]
[[Image:Chris house.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
[[Image:Chandlerhousegooglemaps.jpg|thumb|Another aerial image of the Chandler House.]]
[[Image:BranchlandCourt.jpg|thumb|A more accurate depiction of 14 Branchland Court]]

'''14 Branchland Court''' is the lair of the [[Chandler]] Clan. It is a white (now yellowed to ivory) two-story house trimmed in [[homos|pink]] (faded from a dark red) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of [[Ruckersville, VA]]. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house itself reeks of the early [[1980s]], having tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding; it probably hasn't been re-sided in years. As a result of its dated look, in addition to the decaying gardens and overgrown yard, it has done a number on local property values.

As of [[2009#March|March 2009]], all space not used for walking or sleeping appeared to be packed full of junk. However, in earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday [2002], for instance), the house was once quite tidy. In his [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]], Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller in the past decade. "Clutter" is, of course, a horrible understatement. The house is packed with crap. Its former living room is unusable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within two feet of the ceiling. Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid blocks of shit, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|"THAT IS MY HOUSE"]] revealed that Chris's parents are aware of the house's condition (what with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and fear that [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's video tours]] may elicit the attention of the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. Trolls made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to simple maintenance, like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts appear to be just enough to keep him from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis.

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a computer, but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Apparently, Bob was too lazy or unwilling to provoke a fight, as he just stopped using the computer.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

==History==
Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from the time he was born until his family moved him to the Richmond area, some distance away, in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. After the move, which took place in the fall of 1992, Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held down the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in 2000 after Chris graduated high school. In a [[100 2178|video]] released in May 2010, Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. (He attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system; but, as this article will explain, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.)

==The Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain". |Chris to [[Julie]]<ref><BlueSpike_Skype_Logs_5]]</ref>}}
In two videos uploaded on [[2009#March|27 March 2009]], Chris provides a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so full of shit that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court.

==First floor==
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the music room", which is now primarily the domain of [[Barbara Chandler]], who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the utility room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by the late [[Bob Chandler]], who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.

==Second floor==
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barbara]] moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in [[April 2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

[[Chris's room]] is in the northern corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the eastern corner, is a filthy bathroom, which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown or green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses for Internet access seems to be in this part of the house, as is a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] over a webcam feed. This implies that Snorlax (and Bob, when he was still with us) never actually leave the areas in which they sleep and spend their days there, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wants]] undisturbed. The living room, packed with boxes and shit, is across the stairway from Chris's room.

==Yard==
On first examination, you'd be forgiven for mistaking Chris's yard for Silent Hill. It consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since [[Chris and death|died]], probably due to a [[Dirty crapped briefs|dark stench]] poisoning the air. The backyard contains a shed and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where The Lumberjack would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where [[Patti]] once played. Her doghouse still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being the lazy-ass pansy that he is, Chris cannot summon the strength to pick the damn thing up.

However, in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start the [[Fuck Quest]]), we can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and healthy trees. Many people speculate that over the years, Chris's parents have gotten too old or too lazy to care for their garden, leaving the area neglected.

As of [[August 2010]], it is very apparent that Chris's parents have completely given up on lawn care, with none of the grass cut at all. Many of the grass and weeds surrounding the house are almost four feet tall, obscuring many parts of the residence altogether.

==Mail==
{{quote|Hand-Written and Hand-Drawn Submissions are also accepted, ONLY addressed to: Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968. ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well.|Chris on contacting him, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia]|2=[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia copyright page]}}

If you would like to send a letter to Christian, or perhaps mail his parents some of the many [[nudes|NOODZ]] he has posted on the Internets in recent times, you can contact him at:

:''Christian Weston Chandler,''
:''14 Branchland Court,''
:''[[Ruckersville]],'' [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545,''
:''[[United States of America]]''

'''NOTE:'''
:Based on previous experience with mail, it is likely that one of two things will happen to the letter should you choose to send it: 1.) It will be intercepted by Chris, who apparently takes his parents' mail on a regular basis, or 2.) Barbara and Bob will receive it, and dismiss it as old news (reports show that they have read some of the letters and ignored them).

Chris will respond to fan mail, provided there's a return address on the envelope.

==Visiting==
Visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and promptly trades the deed to a troll for some magic beans so said troll can found the "Christian Weston Chandler Museum of Fail", are ill-advised. While a troll who does manage to make it to the front door will probably not be assaulted by Chris, they will most likely face Chris as he calls for his elderly parents to fight his battle or perform a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].

To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned whilst Chris hides, crying, behind his mother.

In an E-mail between [[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] and an A&E employee in March 2011, It was revealed that A&E attempted to film an episode of Hoarders, but Barb or Bob slammed the door in their face.

==Chris and his address==
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Possibly Chris didn't realize this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA]]
* [[Charlottesville, VA]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Chris's homes]]

==External links==
Other famous hoarders:
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers The Collyer Brothers] - Infamous NY hoarders who ended up being crushed to death by their own shit.
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Trebus Edmund Trebus] -An eccentric Polish immigrant who ended up being a TV star because of his hoarding.

==References==
<references />

{{Places}}

[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

14 Branchland Court

2011-09-18T21:36:31Z

ErsatzHouse: /* First floor */ Bob died.

{{Honest}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|meAO487S0zM}}</center>
{{quote|One does not simply walk into 14 Branchland Court. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the great Man-child is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with video games and sex toys, the very air you breath is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this, it is folly.|[[YouTube]] comment, dragonslayer396}}

[[Image:Fullfrontalfilth.gif|thumb|The most complete view of the front. Note the [[Sonichu]] drawn in the snow.]]
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!]]
[[Image:Chris house.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
[[Image:Chandlerhousegooglemaps.jpg|thumb|Another aerial image of the Chandler House.]]
[[Image:BranchlandCourt.jpg|thumb|A more accurate depiction of 14 Branchland Court]]

'''14 Branchland Court''' is the lair of the [[Chandler]] Clan. It is a white (now yellowed to ivory) two-story house trimmed in [[homos|pink]] (faded from a dark red) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of [[Ruckersville, VA]]. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house itself reeks of the early [[1980s]], having tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding; it probably hasn't been re-sided in years. As a result of its dated look, in addition to the decaying gardens and overgrown yard, it has done a number on local property values.

As of [[2009#March|March 2009]], all space not used for walking or sleeping appeared to be packed full of junk. However, in earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday [2002], for instance), the house was once quite tidy. In his [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]], Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller in the past decade. "Clutter" is, of course, a horrible understatement. The house is packed with crap. Its former living room is unusable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within two feet of the ceiling. Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid blocks of shit, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|"THAT IS MY HOUSE"]] revealed that Chris's parents are aware of the house's condition (what with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and fear that [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's video tours]] may elicit the attention of the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. Trolls made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to simple maintenance, like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts appear to be just enough to keep him from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis.

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a computer, but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Apparently, Bob was too lazy or unwilling to provoke a fight, as he just stopped using the computer.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

==History==
Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from the time he was born until his family moved him to the Richmond area, some distance away, in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. After the move, which took place in the fall of 1992, Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held down the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in 2000 after Chris graduated high school. In a [[100 2178|video]] released in May 2010, Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. (He attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system; but, as this article will explain, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.)

==The Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain". |Chris to [[Julie]]<ref><BlueSpike_Skype_Logs_5]]</ref>}}
In two videos uploaded on [[2009#March|27 March 2009]], Chris provides a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so full of shit that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court.

==First floor==
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the music room", which is now primarily the domain of [[Barbara Chandler]], who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the utility room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by the late [[Bob Chandler]], who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.

==Second floor==
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barbara]] moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in [[April 2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

[[Chris's room]] is in the northern corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the eastern corner, is a filthy bathroom, which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown or green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses for Internet access seems to be in this part of the house, as is a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] over a webcam feed. This implies that Snorlax and Bob never actually leave the areas in which they sleep and spend their days there, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wants]] undisturbed. The living room, packed with boxes and shit, is across the stairway from Chris's room.

==Yard==
On first examination, you'd be forgiven for mistaking Chris's yard for Silent Hill. It consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since [[Chris and death|died]], probably due to a [[Dirty crapped briefs|dark stench]] poisoning the air. The backyard contains a shed and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where The Lumberjack would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where [[Patti]] once played. Her doghouse still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being the lazy-ass pansy that he is, Chris cannot summon the strength to pick the damn thing up.

However, in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start the [[Fuck Quest]]), we can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and healthy trees. Many people speculate that over the years, Chris's parents have gotten too old or too lazy to care for their garden, leaving the area neglected.

As of [[August 2010]], it is very apparent that Chris's parents have completely given up on lawn care, with none of the grass cut at all. Many of the grass and weeds surrounding the house are almost four feet tall, obscuring many parts of the residence altogether.

==Mail==
{{quote|Hand-Written and Hand-Drawn Submissions are also accepted, ONLY addressed to: Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968. ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well.|Chris on contacting him, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia]|2=[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia copyright page]}}

If you would like to send a letter to Christian, or perhaps mail his parents some of the many [[nudes|NOODZ]] he has posted on the Internets in recent times, you can contact him at:

:''Christian Weston Chandler,''
:''14 Branchland Court,''
:''[[Ruckersville]],'' [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545,''
:''[[United States of America]]''

'''NOTE:'''
:Based on previous experience with mail, it is likely that one of two things will happen to the letter should you choose to send it: 1.) It will be intercepted by Chris, who apparently takes his parents' mail on a regular basis, or 2.) Barbara and Bob will receive it, and dismiss it as old news (reports show that they have read some of the letters and ignored them).

Chris will respond to fan mail, provided there's a return address on the envelope.

==Visiting==
Visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and promptly trades the deed to a troll for some magic beans so said troll can found the "Christian Weston Chandler Museum of Fail", are ill-advised. While a troll who does manage to make it to the front door will probably not be assaulted by Chris, they will most likely face Chris as he calls for his elderly parents to fight his battle or perform a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].

To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned whilst Chris hides, crying, behind his mother.

In an E-mail between [[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] and an A&E employee in March 2011, It was revealed that A&E attempted to film an episode of Hoarders, but Barb or Bob slammed the door in their face.

==Chris and his address==
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Possibly Chris didn't realize this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville, VA]]
* [[Charlottesville, VA]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Chris's homes]]

==External links==
Other famous hoarders:
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers The Collyer Brothers] - Infamous NY hoarders who ended up being crushed to death by their own shit.
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Trebus Edmund Trebus] -An eccentric Polish immigrant who ended up being a TV star because of his hoarding.

==References==
<references />

{{Places}}

[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

CWCki:Technical

2010-11-22T12:41:22Z

ErsatzHouse:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

For discussion of errors, extensions, and technical stuff in general(yes we know about the 500 errors).

== upgraded to 1.16.0 ==

seems like all the obvious stuff is fixed but if there are any missing extensions you need please let me know --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 02:39, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

==Audio hosting==
Seeing as how some of the audio recordings that we link to on some pages have been removed from their file hosting sites, I was thinking maybe instead of having people download audio we simply host it here CWCiki side. An example of what I am talking about can be found here.[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FDR_speech.ogg] [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 10:14, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
: This could be doable, but needs server configuration. From user's point of view, it could be a simple matter of converting the files to Ogg Vorbis and uploading them here. Currently, the upload page doesn't accept .ogg files, and files are limited to 7 MB. In order to make the in-browser support work, we'd need the [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:OggHandler OggHandler extension] (which needs ffmpeg and other leet stuff installed on the server as well). --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 03:12, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

==Apache Module versus CGI==
I've been a long time lurker, but the prevalence of 500 Internal Server Errors has prompted me to register an account. I've lurked and searched the CWCki to see if this has been suggested, but I didn't see anyone bring up this potential solution. So I apologize if I'm offering a redundant suggestion. These error messages seem to suggest to me that the Wiki software is running on CGI. A lot of CGI-related performance issues can be remedied by running PHP via an Apache module, rather than as a CGI binary. The PHP CGI binary is invoked, processes a script, and then shuts down every time a page is requested. Apache modules are continuous, thread safe processes (thread safety can be build dependent). I'm not sure if this hosting provider offers such a configuration option, but it may be worth looking into one that does if this becomes an increasingly prominent issue. FastCGI may be a worthwhile alternative to the current configuration if an Apache module is not an option because of some inherent limitations with Wiki software. [[User:Sheex|Sheex]] 10:28, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== 500 internal server error poll ==
Please note what page you received it on and what your action was (view/edit/etc...). [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 14:25, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*Main Page/View - It happens sometimes when I try going here on a new window. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 18:14, 5 October 2010 (EST)
:*I almost always get it when saving an edit, sometimes when I log in. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 17:10, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::*Same here.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 18:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::*That's actually been happening to me quite a bit, recently. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 21:23, 5 October 2010 (EST)
::::Extra processing and memory is used while saving a page, and since lack of memory is the likely cause of the error - it's unsurprising that you encounter it when doing the above. Implementing global caching would help alleviate server load, as currently every page request from logged in users is generating server processing. Longer pages have more chance of generating the error - as they are larger, and take up more memory while being processed. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:30, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::I'll back up the main page and saving edits. I almost never get them otherwise recently. Sometimes I get them if I try to open a page in a tab. The way I browse, I open links I want to read in tabs in tabs to where I can continue reading the page I'm on without having to come back and remember where I was. The tabs will 500 error about 25% of the time. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 14:22, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
* Got one this morning on the Main page. I didn't do anything in particular other than trying to open it. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:55, 8 October 2010 (PDT)

== Is the CWCki faster now? ==
Is it? Do you get the 500 internal server error still? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:39, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*It's better. Though it still takes a little while to load longer pages after editing, and I've only experienced one error message while searching for some video. It's a good start, though. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 00:02, 6 October 2010 (EST)
::Yes it's very fast when not doing things like editing/saving pages (as to be expected). The changes made should hopefully mean fewer errors for everyone, and it seems like a much faster article-browsing experience too. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:18, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*I still get a lot of 500 Internal Server Errors. Not as many as before but it still happens a noticeable amount. It's as fast as it was before; I don't see any difference. [[User:Yossarian|Yossarian]] 13:26, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*I've only gotten one today. Usually I get at least three.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:35, 9 October 2010 (PDT)
**Okay, today I got bitchslapped by the error when trying to edit that stupid prank call page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:24, 15 October 2010 (PDT)
*I only seem to get 500 errors when requesting pages which are not static (i.e. edit pages, recent changes, histories, diffs). The odd 500 error I get when browsing regular articles tends to be on ones that are subject to a lot of recent edits, such as a new video article. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:52, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

== Default Skin ==

I think we should make Vector the default skin for the CWCki, as MonoBook is pretty dated and Vector gives wikis a very clean appearance. A lot of wikis are adopting Vector for this reason. The layout differences are fairly minor, so it really shouldn't give anyone much trouble by making it the default. Users who really dislike it can still change back to MonoBook in their prefs.

* [http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Main%20Page&useskin=vector Preview Vector on the Main Page]
* [http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title={{FULLPAGENAME}}&useskin=vector Preview Vector on this page]
* [http://polldaddy.com/poll/4120043/ Vote here]
Your thoughts please! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:11, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Personally I find Monobook more simplistic and nice, as well as more familiar. But we'll see. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 21:03, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Vector is clunky and confusing. I prefer Monobook. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:38, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Monobook is only used by autistics. Vector should be the new default skin.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 22:09, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Vector's kinda pretty! --[[User:NerdyNautilus|NerdyNautilus]] 10:36, 19 November, 2010 (PST)
:<s>I could defend either one but they're both shitty white default skins so I honestly don't give a damn. If I had to choose I'd say the one we have now is fine, there's no reason to change it for the sake of changing it. That's how Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts raped my childhood.</s> Fuckfuck fuck that noise. I forgot vector moves the searchbar to the top, and it was confusing as fuck when Wikipedia did it. Vector can eat a dick.--[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 23:45, 19 November 2010 (PST)
::The search box movement is about the only major layout change in Vector. There's a reason why Wikipedia changed the default to Vector - it's nicer. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:34, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:Vector is made of AIDS. Monobook works just fine. --[[User:Reimu H|Reimu H]] 05:40, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::I don't see how Vector is made of AIDS. Just because something works is not a reason to not consider changing it. While some people clearly prefer MonoBook because it's been the default for so long, I was hoping that people would see that it does give a cleaner appearance to the CWCki and that from the average reader's perspective - it can be more aesthetically pleasing. The design of Vector is more fluid than MonoBook, with less grey and more light colours. The removal of the grey book background is one noticeable change that definitely lightens up articles. With Wikipedia and several other major wikis already using Vector, it should make the CWCki feel more familiar for the average reader. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:34, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:::I don't know, it feels like Vector is just using cheap gradient tricks and light blue colors to seem nicer, but really it's actually making everything bigger and less streamlined. I tink the only people who are really going to come to CWCki are nerds of course, and they probably more appreciate the monobook look. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 08:36, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::::Use of gradients is fairly minor, and is done because the skin is not meant to be very heavy. It doesn't really make things bigger - the default size for menu links is indeed larger than MonoBook, but it adds to the clean and clear factor of Vector. The sidebar is about the same width. Vector seems very streamlined to me. I disagree with both the claim that the majority of our visitors are nerds and the claim that they will appreciate monobook more. If they're familiar with Wikipedia, they'd be more likely to appreciate Vector. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 08:50, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:I say we keep Monobook, the movement of the search bar is the big problem with Vector. At least we're not using Oasis, which is Wikia's new skin. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 07:14, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:There are a number of issues I have with Vector. First of all, raising the search bar makes it so that I have to scroll to the top of even small articles to search, which is a minor irritant, but an irritant nonetheless. Secondly, the breaking up of the "Page/Discussion" and "Edit/View History" makes it more difficult to quickly navigate an article (I use a trackpad, so moving across the screen is not really something I like to do). Thirdly, the "Watch" button is hidden in the little menu next to "View History" - and it's the only thing there. That just bothers me, and besides, when I want to watch a page, I'd like to only have to click once. I suppose the only other two changes that I can see that matter are that 1) the bottom bar is now different (to which I am indifferent, as I never use that bar anyway) and 2) the Donation ad appears to be gone, although that might be easily corrected (and again, I am indifferent). I honestly think what we have appears more professional (looks like a portfolio to me) and is more compact (because it is). To me, Vector/Monobook is like Mac/Windows. Protip: Windows is better. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 07:33, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::You know that the little dropdown next to View history should be on-hover and not on-click, so it should still only be one click. The dropdown contains more options if you're an admin. I rarely use the watched pages feature though - so I guess I've never really been worried about where the link is for it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 07:37, 20 November 2010 (PST)
Thing is this isn't a professional & widely-used wiki like Wikipedia. It's a wiki dedicated to doccumenting the trolling of a fat retard from Virginia. Besides, you said we'd be able to change it back to Monobook if the default layout was changed right? Why can't there just be an alternative option to change the layout to Vector for those who want it instead of changing the default layout to Vector? --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 07:59, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:You can manually configure Vector to be your default skin already. The idea of setting Vector to be our default skin would be to make the CWCki nicer to the majority of users who simply come here as readers, who may not have accounts, and who may be unaware of the fact wikis allow you to change your skin. The vast majority of visitors to CWCki are readers, and I think it would be nicer for them to experience CWCki with Vector. I don't think the subject of this wiki makes either skin a better or worse choice. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 08:50, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::/shrug. Set up a vote on the Main Page then. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 09:04, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:Meh. Personally, I hate Vector, but it'll make the wiki look more pro. Anyone as particular as me about it can just change it ourselves. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 09:34, 20 November 2010 (PST)

: I feel that Vector has a "food court" aesthetic that I don't like, plus everybody is used to Monobook already. I support the "keep Monobook, but let people change to vector if they want" motion. Is there a problem with Monobook, or is it just a matter of keeping up with the Joneses? -[[User: GrotchManchowder|GrotchManchowder]] 12:36 PM, 20 November 2010 (EST)
:I support the "vote on the Main Page" idea. If you're worried that staying like this will be worse for the average, account-free Joe, just make it say something like "Hey anon faggot come vote here" or some shit. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 09:53, 20 November 2010 (PST)

: I don't like how Vector has the search bar at the top right. It's a lot more convenient when it's near the navigation and toolbox windows. [[User:Mr3urious|Mr3urious]] 10:11, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:: Then again, I ''am'' getting used to Wikipedia's layout. [[User:Mr3urious|Mr3urious]] 10:13, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:Everything but not what the Wikipedia is using right now. I hate it even more that these huge-ass "personal appeals" from Jimbo begging for my money that I keep clicking on accidentally. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:22, 20 November 2010 (PST)

:I don't really have a preference. Vector has a nice professional feeling to it (but then, none of us are professionals, just bored trolls following the misadventures of an overweight manchild... but that's off-topic), but Monobook has more nostalgic appeal to me. Whatever's best. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 10:58, 20 November 2010 (PST)

:I vote for vector! [[User:PeachyKeen|PeachyKeen]] 11:17, 20 November 2010 (PST)

:Both are equally good. [[User:OrsonZedd|OrsonZedd]] 11:54, 20 November 2010 (PST)

:Vector is awesome, and I use it in every wiki that supports it, mostly because you don't really need to look for the search box (in some MonoBook sites, its location kind of depends on what the admins have been drinking over the past week). But I don't know if I have any preference either way as to whether it should be made default. People who are logged out can't edit the wiki and people who are logged in can change the preference, so it's hard to start weighing the usability and the skins don't really affect the way the articles look like. No harm going either way. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:58, 20 November 2010 (PST)

Vector looks bloated. Like Chris. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 12:34, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:You make it sound suitable for CWCki then :P Also seems like we have [http://polldaddy.com/poll/4120043/ a poll up for voting]! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:27, 20 November 2010 (PST)

Essentially I'm tempted to push for the change to Vector as default anyway. We have to look at this from the perspective of "what is best for new users/readers" rather than what is best for the small number of users who hold accounts and choose to voice their opinions. Overall, Vector is widely accepted as being far better for users than MonoBook is - Wikipedia would not have been as bold as to switch to it if that wasn't the case. Don't forget that if anyone really doesn't like Vector, they can easily switch back to MonoBook in their userprefs. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:37, 20 November 2010 (PST)
*Hence the vote, which doesn't require an account. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:39, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::Doesn't mean that the right people will vote though. For instance, a lot of people enter the CWCki sideways, via search engines to certain pages rather than the main page. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:50, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:::The people who look at one article and leave won't even use the search bar. This change appeals to the regs, and the regs will almost definitely check the front page for updates on Chris. I think this gives us as accurate a representation as possible. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:00, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::::The change affects everyone, it will be more noticeable to the regs, but overall it's a change that will improve familiarity and usability for the majority of users. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:03, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:::::I think a vote is the best way to get the general consensus. If you think it will increase validity by putting the vote on every page, by all means do so. If the vote is meaningless because the sultanism of CWCki deigns it so, take it off the front page. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:09, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:I didn't come up with the poll idea - but I think it is the wrong way to really determine whether we switch or not. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:20, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::The poll results are certainly surprising to me so far. Perhaps Vector is the way to go after all. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 09:27, 21 November 2010 (PST)

Just make it an option in people's settings. IMO, Vector looks retarded. I'd perfer to keep it as it is. [[User:Smtp|Smtp]] 18:58, 21 November 2010 (PST)

When Vector was introduced in Wikipedia I hated it with a passion, especially for the position of the search box. Now I got used to it, and it does look a tad sleeker than MonoBook. Whatever the poll says. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 04:41, 22 November 2010 (PST)

R.L. Stine

2010-11-20T00:39:32Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Literary influence */ Changed word from "extolled" to "exhorted".

[[image:Stine.jpg|thumb|left|They even look the same GODDAMN!]]

'''Robert Lawrence [[Chris and Race#Jews|Stine]]''', famed author of the children's horror series ''Goosebumps'', is frequently cited by Chris as a major literary influence.<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref> To be painfully honest, besides ''Of Mice and Men'' and ''Catcher in the Rye'' (which were definitely required reading in whatever [[English]] course he took, since there'd be no other way he'd have even heard of them), Mr. Stine's novels are Chris's ''only'' literary influence. This means that all of [[Clyde Cash]]'s [[Mumble 4|''Fight Club'' references]] fly right over his [[Hair|greasy little head]] and out into the [[Time Void]].

[[Image:RLSTINE.jpg|thumb|Christian posing as a [[Asperchu|harmless]] [[BlueSpike|young boy]] with his favorite book.]]

Why is it that Chris made the effort to actually read Stine's many mediocre paperbacks? Besides [[A Week With Christian Chandler|reading them to avoid paying attention in class]], it's easily explained by his personality. Ponder for a moment the hypercommercialized fandoms that make up every other facet of Chris's miserable existence: [[Sonic]], [[Pokémon]], [[My Little Pony]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]], [[Sonichu (comic)|arts'n'crafts]], [[My big 18th party (story)|Good Burger]], [[Lego]], [[LittleBigPlanet|video games completely lacking in adult themes]], [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|etc.]] Chris's interests form the most childish collage of failure ever to be held by a human being. It isn't hard to believe that whatever slight thirst for the written word he possesses can be easily quenched by a bunch of grade-school level novels — though [[Autism|autistic]], [[Chris and sex|sexually frustrated]] man-children are probably not the demographic R.L. Stine was going for.

But it might be a deeper connection than simply bad taste.

{{quote|[[Donald Duck impersonation|I feel happy to terrify kids.]]|R.L. Stine}}

{{quote|[[Chris and remorse|I guess I'm way too kind and generous, and a saint - if you can believe that!]]|R.L. Stine}}

{{quote|[[Rosechu (species)|I have a cheat-sheet for each one of my characters about their personality, the way they look, etc. So there is no possible way that I could have writer's block. ]]|R.L. Stine}}

==Literary influence==
Despite being 28, Chris still cites Stine as his favorite author. Worse, he seems to know R.L. Stine primarily or exclusively through the ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' series, and seems unaware or uninterested in Stine's more gruesome, violent, and slightly realistic teenage novels. Stine's not the best novelist around by a long shot; if Chris had to choose one author to read forever, he backed the wrong horse. The ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' books are full of bizarre, nonsensical plot twists, simplistic characters, groaner puns, and ridiculous deus/diabolus ex machinae to either spring characters out of trouble or get them in even deeper. Sound familiar? Chris's favorite ''Goosebumps'' story is ''The Haunted Mask''.<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> The reason why: Chris identifies himself with the protagonist Carly Beth, who is also easy troll bait. No surprise here.

Bear in mind, also, that these books are aimed at children no older than 10 who like goofy stuff like that and wouldn't understand anything deeper. Most who kept reading after grade school moved on to more challenging fare, like ''Harry Potter'', as they grew up. Chris, though, stayed with Stine through thick and thin, well into high school and seemingly beyond. Through a combination of laziness and [[PS3|fanboyish]] [[Hex Bawx|hostility]] (according to the Dark Christian [[The Wall of Originals|Pokémon card]], he hated Harry Potter purely because it was replacing Pokémon in popularity), he didn't bite any other literary hooks that came his way. What is likely is that he may have tried to read ''Harry Potter'', but the advanced writing style and literary devices were too complex for his autistic mind, so he condemned the series. Thus he has no familiarity with adult (let alone, ''adolescent'') literature, nor any apparent interest. He has no grasp of symbolism, subtlety, foreshadowing, or any other literary technique or style. He might not even read anything outside of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' comics and hentai manga nowadays, if he reads at all. As any published author can tell you, writing from such a severely restricted reference pool is a recipe for [[Sonichu (comic)|disaster]].

R.L. Stine once exhorted his fans to read all kinds of books from different authors and genres. This is yet another piece of good advice to fall on Chris's deaf ears. Chris is so incapable of venturing outside his comfort zone that he couldn't even leave the fantasy world of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' while reading the books. On page 24 of [[Sonichu 7]], Chris revealed that while reading ''Goosebumps'', he would imagine characters from the story being portrayed by figures from the Sonic video game series.

==In summation==
The [[Honest Content|HONEST TRUTH]] is that Chris is a 28-year-old preteen who is either unable or unwilling to grow up and read big boy books.

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/r_l_stine.html R. L. Stine Quotes]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Stine, R.L.}}
[[Category:People]]

CWCki:Technical

2010-10-08T19:55:46Z

ErsatzHouse:

Lars Is Jivin'.MP4

2010-10-04T12:44:47Z

ErsatzHouse:

[[Image:150px-Jivin.jpg‎|thumb|Lars is [[Fan:Asperchu#Jivin Pickles|Jivin]]]]

'''Lars Is Jivin'''' is an [[Chris and race|extremely racist]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[September 2010]]. In it, [[Chris]] addresses [[Lars]] again, comparing a toy boat he sent [[Jackie]] to a tape dispenser. Chris then decides the best way to get his point across is to abuse his [[PSEye|camera]], again. He removed the video just a few hours after uploading it. He later uploaded a new, longer version on 2 October. The extended edition includes Chris using stereotypical black words such as "yo" "mofo," holding up a picture of a black rapper and then dressing him as a turkey and throwing up gang signs. Unfortunately, this in unlikely to end in a richly deserved ass-whooping as Chris never goes outside or talks to black people. Chris is being incredibly oblivious to the thinly-veiled similarities between "Lars" and himself, making him sound like a complete [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]].

Judging by the unusual video format (Chris normally makes videos in .MOV format), and the [[Chris and camerawork|blindingly obvious jump-cuts]], it would appear Chris has actually taken some time to edit this video. Unfortunately, it's safe to say that this was to hide the fact he failed to hit the camera with the tape dispenser on the first take.

==Description==
{{quotebox|[[Random-access humor|Nothin' but a jivin' turkey gourd.]]}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars Is Jivin'
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ApWRB4iLKMM}}
| stardate = 30 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[New Address]]
| next = [[100 2261.MOV]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:Throwin.png|thumb|right|A primer on proper throwing.]]
[''[[Stare]]s at camera with an [[angry]] look on face, cocks head, jump-cut''] Oh yeah, one more thing, Laaaaars. You know-s-you sent her the dangin' ol' boat made out of popsicle sticks and a weak [[Raincoat|condom]] wrapper for a sail. You know what she did with that? [''holds up a tape dispenser''] This your bu-

[''Jump cut, throws tape dispenser at the [[camera]]''] She threw that piece of shit away! That little piece is cheap as shit. It was so cheap, it was as cheap as that tape dispenser! [''Stares off into space for a moment, bewildered.'']

[''Another jump cut''] ... I'm out! Peace.

{{clear}}

==Full version==
Having taken down the original video a few hours after uploading it, Chris uploaded a longer version of the video on 2 [[October 2010]]. While the final part of the video is almost identical to the original short version, Chris has slightly re-edited it.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars Is Jivin'
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ByDKIeFdHCs}}
| stardate = 2 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[I like Mary Poppins]]
| next = [[100 2265]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
''[ There is a 'sproing' noise as Chris activates the camera. He frowns and begins talking in what he doubtless believes to be a manly baritone.]''

Yo Lars, listen up yo. I got a b- I got a bigger message to tell ya! Imyaghda- I been tellin' you before, I been kinda civil, but I gotta yell it out to ya. [[jackie|JACKIE]] IS OVER YOU! You jivin' turkey! Now I tell you somethin', I tell you something' else, yo. She left you because of all the goddamn boats! ''[producing a sheet of paper] ''Now I'll read to you what she told me, and I quote: "You wasted all your money on all them stupid boats!" And you le- and she left you! Because you would ''never''... treat her right or take her out anywhere because of it. ''[Gangsta hand gesture]''

And she got fed up with all the goddamn boats all over the goddamn apartment! ''[garbling somewhat]'' Half of them not even taken out of their package! Because- because you just [[List_of_Chris's_games|bought them for the sake of buying them]]! ''[he puts down the paper and looks outraged]'' I mean, you mofo! You took -you even bought ridiculous paint and accessory kits for boats ''you didn't even own!'' [[chris_and_hypocrisy|You paid for a whole bunch of useless stuff you're never going to use anyway]], you jivin' turkey!

Yeah, right I call you a jivin' turkey, mofo! ''[he produces another piece of paper. This one is folded in half and has a picture of a black rapper on it, although the lighting makes it impossible to distinguish whom]'' And that's what you is, yo, a jivin' turkey! ''[folds over the paper, revealing that he has drawn a roast turkey - which in point of fact, looks far more like a chicken - on the other side. A hole has been cut for the rapper's face, making it look like he is a squash.]'' Jivin', squashed, stupid old turkey! ''[he tears the paper asunder, and vacuums the shreds up, fumbling them somewhat.]''

Down the jivin' yo'self, mofo! ''[Flashes both middle fingers before turning them upside down]'' I tell you somethin' else. You ain't never gonna get her back. She's been LONG over you, [[Chris and race|boy]]! All day long, all week long. She and I are going to be ... '' ['tapping' an imaginary Jackie]'' I be tapping that sweet ass of hers. ''[Continuing to mime]'' I spank her ass because she wants it. She asked me for it! And you know what, she ain't- you ain't gonna get that request no mo', mofo! Jivin' turkey! You ever come near us, I'll ''beat'' yo' ass! ''[as he squeaks 'beat' he punches his hand]'' Beat yo' ass to the whole- the other side of the state of ''[punches his hand a few times, possibly while he tries to remember]'' Texas, where my dad went to, except for a while.

[''[[Stare]]s at camera with an [[angry]] look on face, cocks head, jump-cut''] Oh yeah, one more thing, Laaaaars. You know-s-you sent her the dangin' ol' boat made out of popsicle sticks and a weak [[Raincoat|condom]] wrapper for a sail. You know what she did with that? [''holds up a tape dispenser''] This your bo-

[''Jump cut, throws tape dispenser at the [[camera]]''] She threw that piece of shit away! That little piece is cheap as shit. It was so cheap, it was as cheap as that tape dispenser! [''Stares off into space for a moment, bewildered.'']

[''Another jump cut''] ... I'm out! Peace.

==See also==
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Lars' Ship has Sunk]]
*[[New Address]]
*[[Niggos]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[New Address]]|nextlink=[[100 2261.MOV]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PandaHalo

2010-09-24T19:25:54Z

ErsatzHouse: firy -> fiery

[[Image:PandaHalo.jpg|thumb|100px|I LOVE YOU, PANDA BEAR]]

{{Quote|Panda, I know that you are somewhere up there, after the fire, and we will not forget you... But I look to a bright future where [[Julie]] and I, will feel that... will feel... will feel that love and then more.|Chris, dumping the freshly burnt corpse of PandaHalo, whilst asking for a ghostly threesome{{cite}}.}}

'''Sarah Cassandra''' "'''PandaHalo'''" '''McKenzie''' was [[Chris]]'s TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]] who lived in South Australia before her fiery death.

==History==
[[Image:Me_and_Panda_Bear_by_SonichuSite.jpg|thumb|Chris isn't totally stupid: if he finds true love, he wants it in writing (''Note the bloody finger:'' using arterial blood!!!)]]

During the [[Blanca]] saga, PandaHalo continued to send occasional messages to Chris. After Chris realized his mistake in believing in Blanca, he decided to declare Panda his TRUE and HONEST girlfriend.

Panda toyed with Chris for a while, discovering how desperate he was for [[China|sex]]. Panda really pushed the limits of acceptable behavior, and their conversations show just how gullible Chris can be when China is on the line. A good example is how she [[IRC (27 December 2008)|verbally abuses Chris while claiming that she's starting to fall in love]] with [[Robert Simmons V]], occasionally typing extremely obvious and specific insults to Chris and easily passing it off as some kind of bizarre form of Tourette's syndrome, or easily getting Chris to agree to bizarre sex acts, such as convincing him to have sex with a dog for her pleasure (for the record, he says he'd be willing to have sex with a collie, like Lassie). She managed to obtain the first sexual footage of Chris masturbating and audio of Chris talking about his [[Sex Logs|sexual opinions]]. He also sent Panda a [[PSP]] that was originally intended for [[Megan]].

In a disturbing act of revenge, [[Clyde Cash]] flew to Australia and raped Panda.<ref>IRC (21 January 2009)</ref> She fell pregnant with Clyde's child, a fact which didn't appear to faze Chris in the slightest. Clyde immediately and generously offered to take care of Panda and their baby in his mansion, whereas Chris subtly pressured Panda into getting an abortion. As Chris was in the middle of lecturing Clyde about forgiveness he was in an unusually forgiving mood, and actively encouraged Panda to abandon her child to the man who'd raped her so Panda could live with Chris in his parents' house. While Clyde offered to house not only Panda and their child, but Chris as well, his stipulation that Chris would have to get a job nixed that idea. There was also the issue that Clyde's act of rape had gotten Panda addicted to sex (which, as a man who has [[Chris and Sex|learned everything he knows about sex from porn]], Chris didn't at all question), and she expressed some interest in regular threesomes with Chris and Clyde. In the end Panda gave Chris an ultimatum: [[Miyamoto Saga|talk to Nintendo to make Sonichu a reality]] so that Chris could support their future family together and she would gladly abort Clyde's baby and live with him as his sex-addicted, baby-spewing wife. Failure to do so meant she would live with Clyde in his mansion and raise their child together. Chris, of course, wouldn't put in the effort to get the only [[Sonichu Adventure|two]] [[china|things]] he had ever cared about, and forfeited Panda to Clyde. Shortly after, however, he'd heard about the Australian bushfires...

==Death==
Chris convinced himself that PandaHalo was one of 173 people who died in the [[Wikipedia:Black Saturday bushfires|Black Saturday bushfires of February 2009]], <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_75 Sonichu 9, Episode 20, Page 75]</ref> but whether this is true or not shall remain a mystery '''forever'''.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the fictional version of PandaHalo met her demise. After her building is "put ablaze," she hurls her Poké Balls out the window to save her Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[Blazebob Sonichu]]. After approximately fifteen seconds of mourning, Blazebob reassures Chloe that they need to move on, mirroring Chris's [[Chris and death|lack of grief]] after the real Panda's untimely death.

==Avenging Panda==

It only took a year for him to get around to it, but Chris finally obtained some manner of revenge against Clyde Cash for the rape of PandaHalo, in a [[Don't Mess With Me|recent Youtube video]]. Granted, it was a complete fantasy... but then, so are all of [[Sonichu_Comic|Chris's victories.]]

==Rebirth==
In an [[April 2010]] update to the [[CWCipedia]], Chris published a page discussing the women he's known in his life, including Panda. There, he revealed that he no longer believes she is dead. Instead:

{{quote|I recently learned that she was still alive, married to Clyde and with healthy child. Even though my memorial dedications were apparently a loss, I wish Sarah and Clyde many happy years in their marriage.|Chris, on the CWCipedia.}}

In [[Clyde E-mails|recently released e-mails]], it was discovered that Clyde was the one who told Chris that Panda had died and that it was a lie to get him away from her. In return, Chris sought to give Panda the PSN accounts he had made for her and held onto for over a year in exchange of proof of this.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Iamsvenka.jpg
Image:Chris_Chan_s_Panda_by_-2FC.png
</gallery>

== Sauces ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chloe]] - fictional girlfriend Chris made up after Blanca that served as a partial codename for Panda
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==External links==
*[http://pandahalo.deviantart.com/ Panda's deviantArt profile]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McKenzie, Sarah Cassandra}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Talk:Song for Jackie.MOV

2010-09-16T21:15:30Z

ErsatzHouse:

Oh my heavenly God... --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 13:47, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Transcribing, should be done soonish? - [[User:Boop|Boop]] 13:54, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:Arrr, ya beat me, ya scurvy scallawag! Anyways; Un-fucking-beleivable. It's the 'Falling Towers' video all over again.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 13:56, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Chris is BACK!--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 13:57, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Evidently, Chris has no idea how racist this is and how doubly creepy it is. Mr. Popo is so creepy that DBZ Abridged made it a running joke. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 13:58, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Is that what the japanese think Arabs look like?--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 14:03, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
: http://dragonball.wikia.com/wiki/Popo That's all it says (and what it says is pretty damning), I suppose you'd have to ask Akira.--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 14:13, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

I've got a vague transcription, I'll stick it on the page but there are quite a few [unintelligable]s and I am a n00b so forgive me. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 14:06, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

I believe he's actually sort of cosplaying [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Popo#Mr._Popo Mr. Popo], a minor character from DragonBall Z. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 14:15, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

==Song?==
Can we get the sauce on the song playing in the background?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:08, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by Crash Test Dummies. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 14:14, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

2007

2010-09-13T14:07:53Z

ErsatzHouse: Grammar.

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0940-CWCsAppreaciation.JPG|thumb|[[Chris]] in '''2007'''.]]
[[Image:2007.JPG|thumb|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' (red) and ''Christian Weston Chandler'' (blue). [[2007]] is marked in Mellow Yellow.]]
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|In protest to [[2007|2007's]] creation of the [[ED|ED page]], [[Chris]] draws himself fingerfucking his best friend.]]
[[Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|thumb|On '''11 February 2007''', Chris made this.]]
[[Image:SoulCalibur3box.jpg|thumb| On '''8 May 2007''', [[MLW]] gets it in [[Soul Calibur|SCIII]].]]
[[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|'''July 2007''']]
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|On '''26 October 2007''', this picture is taken at [[The GAMe PLACe]].]]
[[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|One of the images Chris drew on '''11 November 2007'''.]]

'''The year we made contact.'''

The second half of the year '''2007''' shows some important developments within [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s life.

Firstly, Chris enters and <s>unfairly</s> loses the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], leaving him disillusioned and enraged.

Secondly, he discovers a satirical page written about him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. These two injustices lead Chris into a bitter, long and frustrated [[rage]], eventually giving spark to certain deep, complex and mysterious aspects of madness within his person, that, when revealed, would prove to be a decisive factor leading to obsessive [[trolls|trolling]] in [[2008]].

==Events of 2007==

===February===
* February 11 - Christian makes the cover for his [[Chris's DVD|"I'm on TV" DVD]].
* February 19 - Christian starts making the slideshow for his [[Chris's DVD|DVD]].
* February 22 - Christian finishes the slideshow.
* February 24 - Christian's 25th birthday.
* February 24 - Chris releases his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"future message"]].

===March===
* March 5 - Chris draws (the cover of) ''[[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]''.
* March 6 - In response to an email from Chris about the DVD, [[Cole Smithey]] expresses his disdain for [[Barbara]] and [[Bob]].
* March 6 - Chris cashes in his first [[My Coke Rewards]] points, beginning a campaign that will see him consume more than 2500 bottles worth of Coke.
* March 17 - Chris realizes that he is able to afford a 60GB Playstation 3, so he goes out and invests in one.

===May===
* May 8 - Christian creates his first [[YouTube]] account.
* May 8 - Christian uploads a video of him beating up [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''.

===June===
* June 6 - [[Megan]] leaves for Kentucky.
* June ?? - Chris stops working as a volunteer assistant Gym Leader at [[The Game Place]].
* June 27 - Christian states that he is saddened, as Megan has left for Kentucky. He misses her.
* June 27 - Christian cries with his mother whilst thinking of [[Patti]] the dog.
* June 29 - Christian makes his ''PaRappa the Rapper'' video and enters [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]].

===July===
* July 7 - Unable to fornicate with his dog anymore, Christian buys a Velvet Touch masturbator.
* July 14 - Chris is featured in the [[:File:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|Daily Progress]] section of his local newspaper.
* July 16 - Chris buys himself an [[Officer Nasty]] love doll.
* July 18 - Chris hears his Parappa video has made it to the final rounds. He is overjoyed.
* July 23 - Megan's 21st birthday. She is still in Kentucky, and Chris misses her.

===August===
* August 3 - [[Adam Stackhouse]] wins the PaRappa the Rapper Contest.
* August 3 - Christian immediately sends an enraged e-mail to [[Sony]]. He is furious because he didn't get the opportunity to impress Megan.
* August 3 - In an e-mail to Megan, Christian admits to cheating to win the PaRappa the Rapper Contest.
* August 4 - Christian writes another angry letter to Sony, explaining why the other contestants should be disqualified. He also curses Adam Stackhouse in his [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|PSN blog]], which results in an admin timing him out.
* August 8 - Megan sends Christian an angry letter, complaining about him touching her. She says she is happy he lost the contest. According to Chris: "It hurt so fucking much, it took me weeks to recover."
* August 8 - Christian apologizes to Megan for "touching" her.
* August 10 - Sony responds to Christian's e-mail. They don't take him seriously.
* August 13 - Christian writes to Megan about having confessed his love to her.
* August 20 - Chris buys himself another [[Officer Nasty]] love doll, possibly because his other one suffered an internal injury.
* August ?? - '''Video''' Chris uploads [[CWC is Angry]].

===October===
* October 3 - Christian buys a LAI MI Asian sex doll.
* October 8 - Christian apologizes to Megan for being too pushy.
* October 19 - Christian shows hostile behavior towards a friend of Megan.
* October 20 - Christian apologizes to Megan for his hostile behavior. He blames it on his homophobia.
* October 26 - Christian is photographed at the Game Place playing [[Pokemon|Pokémon]]. The same day he gets [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2636398&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=8#post335082042 mentioned] in a SomethingAwful thread (Requires ''Archives'' account to view) about an obsessive-compulsive guy named Ulillillia.
* October 27 - Due to the Ulillillia getting thread getting derailed, a [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671 thread on SomethingAwful] is created about Chris. (Requires ''Archives'' account to view.)
* October 31 - The SomethingAwful Sycophant Squad (SASS) creates a thread on Chris titled ''Sonichuuuuuuuu...''
* October 31 - [[ED]] page on [[Chris|Chris-Chan]] is created (according to Christian - according to the history, it was created a bit later).

===November===
* November 2 - Christian discovers the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and becomes furious. Again according to himself, this is also contradicted by the time for the page's creation.
* November 3 - The Chris-Chan article on ED is created at 5:45 PM (Ruckersville time) by [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].
* November 3 - [http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7631380&x=sonichu 4chan Fan-Art thread]. [[Evan]] e-mails some of the images to Chris.
* November 4 - [http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7656940&x=sonichu+response Chris is angered] by the [[Evan|sexual imagery]] of Sonichu and himself. He demands a picture of Rosechu "masturbating and squirtin'".
* November 5 - [[Chris's mother]] finds out about him being photographed at the [[Game Place]], and goes mad.
* November 5 - In and E-Mail to Anna, Chris discloses that he has been chatting with [[Lori Lopez]].
* November 7 - Christian shoots a [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|video]] asking to have the ED article edited to "better reflect his personality".
* November 9 - [[Chris's mother]] goes to the Game Place and questions manager [[Michael (Game Place)|Michael]] about the picture that was taken. She asks to be offered a seat, but as there is no seat, she has to sit on the floor.
* November 10 - [[Michael (Game Place)|Michael]] tells Chris that if he brings up ED once again, he will be banned from the Game Place{{cite}}.
* November 10 - A picture of Goatse is added to the ED page, and Christian finally breaks down and creates the Reldnahc account to remove it. He then begins [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica#November_2007|rewriting the article]] in a more favorable light towards him.
* November 11 - In response to she-male and homoerotic Sonichu fan art on the ED page, Chris draws five [[Rule 34]] drawings and adds them to the article in protest. Most feature his Sonichu characters; one in particular depicts himself fingering a woman who is later identified as Megan.
* November 12 - Chris adds entries from his [[CWC's Diary|diary]], details about how he lost Megan, and information about his sex doll [[Officer Nasty]] to the ED page. By now Chris has willingly provided 90% of the information that will be used to mock him henceforth.
* November 15 - Christian tries to hack ED using HTML. It doesn't work.
* November 23 - Chris buys a 160 GB SATA hard drive for his PS3, greatly increasing its storage space.

===December===
* December 23 - Chris apparently abandons [[CWC's Cool Profile]].
* December 26 - Chris buys [[Kimmi]], the animé love doll, on Adamandeve.com, probably because his parents didn't buy it for him as a Christmas gift.
* December 28 - Once again, Chris returns to [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica#December_2007|editing]] the text of his ED article into a more positive one.
* December 30 - With a new ED account, "Chris-Chan", Chris starts vandalizing ED.
* December 30 - Christian writes the poem "[[For My True Love, I Would…]]".<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007]]</ref>

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Talk:Haters Gonna Hate.MOV

2010-09-06T23:19:27Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Appearance and weight */

Trying to transcribe...having trouble--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:22, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
- Disregard that I suck cocks, I can't even refresh the page without lagging out.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
* I have TRANSCRIBED DIS BITCH. Mostly. Rest easy. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:54, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Pfft, Chris is using his DEEP SCARY VOICE OOOOOOO -[[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 09:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==PS3==
I broke the page, sorry, but guess what I found. [[User:Ash link|Ash link]] 10:01, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Case?==
Chris said he was keeping the PStripple case as a memento, is that a console or the case on the shelf? Keep in mind, I dont' know anything about Playstation 3 cases. --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 10:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

For a second I thought it might be a ps3 slim with the old faceplate leaned against it, but after comparing videos - it looks exactly the same as the old one pretty much...did he get a used old fat ps3? perhaps on ebay? any recent activity on ebay? is it possible the one he crushed really was a decoy? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:40, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

It looks like the one he made out of Pixelblocks. Anyways, if he had bought a new PS3, why would he have it on a shelf? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 11:31, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Whatever it is, it's in the same place as the old one as seen in [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]. --[[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 16:18, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Wi-Fi Antenna Gymnast Ribbon?==
is that the removed wifi antenna which he spins around at the camera near the end?? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:I was thinking it's the Red String of Fate -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 14:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Wrong title ==

Should be Haters Gonna Hate.MOV (or just Haters Gonna Hate). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
: [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]], fix this shit. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Appearance and weight ==

He looks chubbier than usual to me. Thoughts? --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:03, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:2 things: 1) not a forum; 2) not really --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 12:41, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:: Maybe it was worth mentioning in the page. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 16:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
*Yes, he gained some weight during the hiatus. We usually discuss this stuff on /cwc/ after every video, so go there for this kind of discussion. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 14:43, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV

2010-09-06T19:23:56Z

ErsatzHouse: Chris' most recent video as of now (6 September 2010) features the medallion again.

'''03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 21 [[March 2010]] in which he swears he will leave the Internet (again). Of note is that this is the last video in which he wears the [[Sonichu]] [[medallion]], which will be absent for about six months until [[Haters gonna hate.mov|6 September 2010]].

==Analysis==

Chris has made similar promises before, most notably in his [[YouTube Finale]] video of 30 [[March 2009]]. Historically his departures have lasted around a week or two. His hiatus in [[November 2008]] was much longer, but that was only thanks to ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. This particular break lasted a grueling ''thirty-six hours'' before Chris returned to the internet to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant| whine about voice actors on a shitty cartoon]].

This video gives off the air of some [[Rocky Shoemaker|external influence]] — his comments about the value of fresh air and real social interaction are, most would agree, very un-Chris-like. Bits and pieces of Chris's speech, particularly the ones about "life, the sun, and the days you have to live" have a vague kinship to passages from the Bible, among other things, leading to the supposition that he might be echoing a church sermon. As yet, though, there's no "smoking gun" confirming that he didn't come up with this on his own.

If some beneficial force has managed to enter Chris's life and drive him in a more positive direction, well, so much the better. His grip on reality is still only so strong, though. He remains wedded to the delusion that his [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|copyright certificate]] for Sonichu means something (it doesn't), he thinks [[the Wallflower]] was his girlfriend (she wasn't), and he clings to the belief that his comics are commercially viable (they're not). Furthermore, he believes his absence caused the recent CWCipedia hijacking ([[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|it didn't]]).

Following the advice he dispenses here could be the best thing that ever happened to him. Of course, considering [[Chris and hypocrisy|his track record]], it isn't surprising that [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|he didn't]].

'''Spoiler Alert:''' It lasted less than 36 hours.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SIWkCXSgHeM}}
| stardate = 21 March 2010
| subject = {{Website|[[CWCkipedia]] & [[Trolls|The Internet]]}}, {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedGreenShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]
| next = [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]
}}

== Transcript ==
March 21st, 20...10. I have noticed that my absence has, uh, brought on a bit of chaos, on the... [[CWCipedia]], and it has gone on beyond- behind my back. I have been depressed lately, because of my... cr- because of my [[The Wallflower|girlfriend]] having left me, because of the tor- because of what [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|this one guy]] did. He created that page, I know that. He tried to intrude my life. Once I find- once I find him, he will... be he- he will be [[Death threats|tortured bad]]. But aside from that, I have let my- I have let the trolls torture me because of my re- because of my real life... stories having been [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|leaked]] [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|on the internet]]. But now the chaos is going to be done. I have shared my [[nudes|stories]] and [[Rule 34|t-arts]] of my electric hedgehog Pokemon. I have established my own, on my own, my main oh- my power of [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|ownership]] as the [[Things Chris has ripped off|original]] creator and author. I have established (gasp)... so much, and learned a lot in socializing and dealing with the good, and the bad. But I am not the quit, I am not quitting, this-and the comic series will continue. But you'll have to wait until the comic book pages hit the stores, before it, in order for you to read more. I have already won, because I have learned so much. [[Chris and his Ego|I am famous worldwide]], and [[Chris and copyright|I own the main copyrights to everything about it]]. About [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of [[CWCville]] and everything therein. And I am going to take it a step further after this.

But first, I am making my- I am removing mys- I am removing myself from the internet. Because I have let- because I have put [[April 16 Fetish Vids|too much of my personal life]] online to be ridiculed so much. Let's see how you trolls plan to deal with me when I am not there to be dealt with! Even though [[Alec Benson Leary calls|I ignore your phone calls]] THAT'S ONE THING! And I will, and I, y'all do your treachery behind my back, your treachery and your mockery. But that chaos ends now, because I am going to enjoy [[Video games|real life]]. I do not need the internet, nobody needs the internet! They just need to enjoy real [[PS3|life]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|go out and socialize! Talk to people!]] [[E-mails]] are so yesterday! Going out and finding people to talk to, and talking to them face to face is always IN. So you can forget the damn [[Facebook]], and the [[MySpace]], and those other social sites, because the only true social site... is... all around you. At your [[Fashion Square Mall|shopping mall]]. At the [[homos|salons]], and [[Manchester High School|schools]], and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|colleges]]! Everywhere! Even at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|churches]], and [[Card games#Books-A-Million|bookstores]], the [[The GAMe PLACe|game stores]], the GameStops, everywhere all around you, is a social site. And you don't need a computer to access it. All you have to do, is just go outside, and eh- and see for yourself. And say "Hello." Internet is one thing to go talking to [[Molvania|another country]], but you don't need to be talking to [[Ivy|others in the country]], when you can talk to everybody else, around you locally. Because those are the most important people to you, the ones that are closest to you.

So I leave you all with tha- with those words, and it is not "Good-bye," but more like "See ya later." For me- for me and my Sonichu, Rosechu and everybody, because we will be back. And we don- but we don't need the online websites to... be famous anymore, [[Chris and reality|because we have established world]] [[Chris and English|famedom]]. We have established my ownership of everything therein. We have established the pow- the [[Honor roll|mental education]] of having to deal with the [[Vivian Gee|good]], and the [[Jack|bad]], and the [[Julie|worse]]. Damn trolls. Your bullying is not appreciated, even locally. So you can just take your bullyings, and bully yourselves. If you want to do- if you want- if you're bored, go work around the house. [[Sonichu's Edge|Go take a walk]]. 'Cause you don't need the internet. You don't need to [[Chris's room|stay cooped up inside]], you just need to go outside, and enjoy life, and the sun, and the days you have to live. I'm Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville, Virigina]]. Birthname [[Christopher]], Spanish nickname [[Ricardo]], original creator of the electric hedgehog [[Pokemon]], Sonichu and Rosechu, and the city of CWCville, [[Virginia]]. I bid you all, stay safe, and good day.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Manly Debriefing
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UppzZmHSgFU}}
| Stardate = 9 August 2010
| Maker = Sabator
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]|nextlink=[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]|}}

{{Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:Haters Gonna Hate.MOV

2010-09-06T19:03:23Z

ErsatzHouse:

Trying to transcribe...having trouble--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:22, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
- Disregard that I suck cocks, I can't even refresh the page without lagging out.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
* I have TRANSCRIBED DIS BITCH. Mostly. Rest easy. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:54, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Pfft, Chris is using his DEEP SCARY VOICE OOOOOOO -[[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 09:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==PS3==
I broke the page, sorry, but guess what I found. [[User:Ash link|Ash link]] 10:01, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Case?==
Chris said he was keeping the PStripple case as a memento, is that a console or the case on the shelf? Keep in mind, I dont' know anything about Playstation 3 cases. --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 10:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

For a second I thought it might be a ps3 slim with the old faceplate leaned against it, but after comparing videos - it looks exactly the same as the old one pretty much...did he get a used old fat ps3? perhaps on ebay? any recent activity on ebay? is it possible the one he crushed really was a decoy? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:40, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

It looks like the one he made out of Pixelblocks. Anyways, if he had bought a new PS3, why would he have it on a shelf? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 11:31, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Wi-Fi Antenna Gymnast Ribbon?==
is that the removed wifi antenna which he spins around at the camera near the end?? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Wrong title ==

Should be Haters Gonna Hate.MOV (or just Haters Gonna Hate). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
: [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]], fix this shit. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Appearance and weight ==

He looks chubbier than usual to me. Thoughts? --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:03, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Haters Gonna Hate.MOV

2010-09-06T19:03:10Z

ErsatzHouse:

Trying to transcribe...having trouble--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:22, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
- Disregard that I suck cocks, I can't even refresh the page without lagging out.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 09:46, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
* I have TRANSCRIBED DIS BITCH. Mostly. Rest easy. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 09:54, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Pfft, Chris is using his DEEP SCARY VOICE OOOOOOO -[[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 09:47, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==PS3==
I broke the page, sorry, but guess what I found. [[User:Ash link|Ash link]] 10:01, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Case?==
Chris said he was keeping the PStripple case as a memento, is that a console or the case on the shelf? Keep in mind, I dont' know anything about Playstation 3 cases. --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 10:19, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

For a second I thought it might be a ps3 slim with the old faceplate leaned against it, but after comparing videos - it looks exactly the same as the old one pretty much...did he get a used old fat ps3? perhaps on ebay? any recent activity on ebay? is it possible the one he crushed really was a decoy? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:40, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

It looks like the one he made out of Pixelblocks. Anyways, if he had bought a new PS3, why would he have it on a shelf? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 11:31, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Wi-Fi Antenna Gymnast Ribbon?==
is that the removed wifi antenna which he spins around at the camera near the end?? [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Wrong title ==

Should be Haters Gonna Hate.MOV (or just Haters Gonna Hate). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 11:38, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
: [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]], fix this shit. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

== Appearance and weight ==

He looks chubbier than usual to me. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:03, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

Reggie Fils-Aimé

2010-09-05T07:49:15Z

ErsatzHouse:

[[Image:Reginald Fils-Aime.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Reggie Fils-Aimé, He has come here to chew bubble gum and kick autistic ass...and he's all out of bubble gum]]
[[Image:ReggieAndChris.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Separated at birth?]]

'''Reginald "Reggie" Fils-Aimé''' ''(pronounced fee-suh-may'', not fucking "Fills-Eye-Mez" as [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] says), is the president of [[Nintendo]] America and colleague of [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]. He is also an objector of "true love" according to Mr. Chandler.

Currently not speaking to Mr. Chandler after Chris stood up Shigeru Miyamoto at a meeting to produce a [[Sonichu]] game for the US (as [[Jimmy Hill]] Owns European and Japanese gaming rights). Chris threatened to take Reggie and Shigeru to [[Charlottesville]] court for causing butthurt in his lack of response, before going back on his word and BAWWWWing to them in an apology video.

Reggie's next video game, [[Kick the Autistic]] will be released for the Wii and DS in time for Christmas.

Mr. Fils-Aimé is a light-skinned [[niggo]] whose parents were born in Haiti, proving that Chris will abandon his [[racism]] for the promise of fame.

==Fils-Aimé Saga==
{{quoteboxred|
'''Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America''' from '''Reggie Fils-Aimé''' to '''Chris''' on 28 [[January 2009]] 1:16 AM
----

But right now, I'm just strictly Reggie. I'm not going to even bother sending this through my Nintendo email address. Because you know what? This isn't business. This is strictly personal. I have something to say to you, and you need to listen. This has nothing to do with Nintendo right now, this is just me and you. Mano e mano. Man to man. I don't normally do this, but hell, I just need to get this off my chest.

If you don't know who I am, then allow me to introduce myself. My name is Reggie Fils-Aime. I've been kicking ass and taking names ever since the E3 expo at 2004 where I made my debut, where from then on I eventually earned my position as president of this company.

I'm known to be a loud mouth. I don't take crap from anyone. So if you are easily offended, I suggest you stop reading. But don't worry, I'll try to go easy on you, key word being "try" here.

But with that out of the way, I just want to say something to you personally.

May I kindly ask, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you for real or what? I was there for everything. I saw Miyamoto waiting for up to 2 days in the bitter cold for you to show up and you stood him up. I was even there trying to arrange everything for you, even setting up someone to escort you to our building complete with bodyguards and full security because I knew you were concerned about safety. And for what? So you could just NOT show up? I mean, I don't even know what to think, it's just completely unbelievable.

I'm sorry but it just is. I heard what you said to Mr Miyamoto too, your reasons for not coming. And I just have to say. How old are you? You're 27, if I'm not mistaken right?

27! I mean, think about it, you are almost 30! What is a man of your age still doing being coddled by his parents? Let me tell you, when I was about your age, I was already married and had children!

Your autism isn't an excuse either. I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.

That right there is what made it pretty clear that there is no chance in hell you're going to get anywhere with this project. Nevermind the fact that your parents didn't want you to go (or that you still have to get your parents permission at your age).

Think about what happened if you did go, and you had to ask mommy and daddy for an OK on everything? Imagine what a complete disaster that would be. I mean, listen. Simply put, you are not fit to do business with us as you are not even in a position where you can make your own decisions, which is vital to survive in the workplace, and even life in general.

I mean, seriously, who the hell were we talking to? I don't know about you. But this deal was about Nintendo and you. This was not the deal between Nintendo and the parents of Christian Weston Chandler.

I'm sorry, but provided that this whole thing you pulled on us wasn't an elaborate prank, this project was doomed from the start. It's just completely ridiculous. It is impossible for anyone to do business with someone who still has to rely on their parents to make their decisions.

Right now, I don't see how anything good could come from any of this. The only way I could even see this going anywhere is if you were to somehow learn to become independent, like a person of your age should be, and try to do something so that you don't rely on your parents to decide things for you.

But I don't see that happening ever in the near future (nor is it really my job to even have to tell you this). And because of that, I don't see how you'll ever be able to do business with us.

And you know what? I'll just leave it at that. Also, forget recieving a letter from us (and for what? So your parents can read it out loud to you? For Christ sake). This whole thing is through.

Our company will gladly deal with people who are up to the task. But we cannot waste valuable time and money on children who have no means of actually doing their part (their part, as in not their parents but "their part") to cooeprate with us.

Sorry for the rant, but you've wasted so much of our time, money and effort that I had to personally do what I'm known for, and that is kicking ass and taking names.

I always tell it like it is, and I'll be damned if I ever change that. So consider this as the final notice, this whole thing is through. It was through as soon as you made it clear that you are not mature enough to do business with us.

Other than that, I have nothing more to add. Please feel free to complain about me not being professional, I get that all the time. But nobody ever doubts my ability to tell people the things they need to hear. And what I just told you is nothing but that.

Sincerely,

The man who has been kicking ass and taking names since 2004.

Reggie Fils-Aime
 President
 Nintendo of America
}}
{{quotebox|Re: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America

I see your point, Reggie, but YOU DID NOT HAVE TO CANCEL THE PROJECT INDEFINITELY! I mean, after I get things settled on my end, and when I have the [[monthly tugboat|funds]] to make the trip to Redmond, it would feel much beneficial to me to know that the Window is still OPEN for me. What I'm hearing here is that you've CLOSED the Window and sealed it with Concrete!

[[Chris and negotiation|I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT!]]

I apologize for coming off strong, but the objectionable feeling is True to me at the moment, and I would appreciate it if you would Re-Open the Window for me, and UNSEAL the Window, so I can still have the opportunity open for me. I will need a financial setting with a good job for when I have my family and individuality set, and I personally feel it BEST if I still had the opportunity to Work with Nintendo and Sega to bring my Sonichu and Rosechu to life in the Video Game World.

Please let me know that this Same Window of Opportunity will remain open for me. And if it helps better my case, I recently won a 400 dollar Gamestop Gift Card from the Guitar Hero Be A Star Sweepstakes and received it in the FedEx; I spent 3/4 of the card on my Church's Congregation, and those who requested a game from the card; the Majority of them asked for Wii Titles; Two asked for WiiMusic, and one of those two also got a copy of Animal Crossing City Folk With the WiiSpeak. And I ended using the rest for myself on Super Mario Galaxy, WiiMusic, LoZ: Twilight Princess, Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity, ALL FOR NINTENDO Wii, and a WiiSpeak. And I still have a [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase|HEAVY Positive and Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fanbase;]] You All at Nintendo will STILL be able to Gain More Money off of my Sonichu and Rosechu, especially when in the near future I will be most capable of flying to Redmond, meet with you and Mr. Miyamoto, and get this "Mario Party" Started.

Please reply with your contact information, including phone number, so I can contact you in the near future, when I TRULY WILL be ready. My Mind is SET on this, and I feel I can be Ready as early as the end of 2009. You have my word as an Avid Gamer, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|Lamb of God]], and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quotebox|Subject: Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu

The LAST thing I need to feel is feeling like I've been Left within a tiny piece of shelfspace to collect dust and be forgotten.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quotebox|Subject: One last thing

I still would deeply appreciate a document of the past business words, aggrements and all that from between me, Mr. Miyamoto and you, Reggie, snail-mailed to my home address I've previously provided to you, for my personal records and future references, Please.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quoteboxred|RE: One last thing

It's not going to happen, pal. This is final. Don't take this personally.}}

-----

{{quoteboxred|RE: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America

We're not interested in your project. I've seen the powerpoint. Apart from the fact that you are unable to manage for yourself, the powerpoint really was the final straw. It was filled with gratuitous and shameless drawings with every other frame showing some form of partial nudity or characters making out with each other.

I cannot even fathom how you managed to think that would be a good idea.

Not only that, you keep mentioning Sony, which you should know is the bitter rival of Nintendo and our mortal enemy. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but in every presentation I have given, whenever I mention kicking some behind, it's always directed to Sony. If you knew anything about our company, that would have been completely obvious.

But those are all moot points compared to the fact that you have demonstrated that you are not cut out for this kind of work and that your actions and mode of behavior would be a total liability for our company.

This decision is final. We are not going to do business with you and that is all. Sort out your own life. We cannot help you.

This is it. Do not email me or beg me for anything else. This is final. I cannot stress that enough. And if you do email me again, I will just repeat myself over and over. This whole thing is over. Goodbye.

Sincerely,
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

----

{{quoteboxred|RE: Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu

Actually I think it's for the better. Maybe you can learn something out of this whole exchange.

But other than that, there is nothing more I can say or do for you. I'd appreciate it if you stopped emailing me now and maybe instead took some time to reflect on how this went wrong on your part. But this whole thing is finalized and done, and I cannot help you nor do I have the time to keep sending you emails when we have no official business with each other.}}

----

{{quotebox|Subject: "Reply to your Reply"

Let me just say a few more things, and then I'll stop e-mailing you for a long while. There was Positively NO NUDITY at all in the Powerpoint Presentation. And What the heck is WRONG with True Love and Kissing? [[Christian Weston Chandler|Are you a Virgin yourself? Have you had a BUNCH of Bad Dates? Or are you soo Closed-Minded and Rednecked?]] I gave you respect after seeing you in that video on my Wii, yet you tell me that True Love is WRONG? You are just as bad or WORSE than the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Real-Life Mary Lee Walsh,]] or as she is known as in the Comics now, Slaweel Ryam.

I pity you if you've had your share of Bad Luck in True Love, yet at this point, you have just Lost My Respect.

True Love is a Truly Sacred Bond between WOMAN and MAN, and when they are together, they get attracted to each other very much to Kiss and later Make Love. [[Chris and Religion|GOD and JESUS WANTS US ALL TO EXPERIENCE and SHARE True, Straight LOVE!]] THERE IS NOTHING OBJECTIONABLE FROM THAT! I am a man who stand for [[China|True Love and Honesty,]] in comics AND in Real Life, although I am still a Frustrated [[Virgin with Rage|Virgin with]] [[Autism|Autisim]] on the side. [[Chris and his Ego|AT LEAST I AM MAKING A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN KEEPING TRUE LOVE BETWEEN ONLY WOMAN AND MAN IN MY ACTIONS.]] On a Side-Note, I DESPISE ALL [[homos|HOMOSEXUAL MALES,]] PERIOD!

ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY [[Tobacky|SMOKE]] AND [[Chris and Hypocrisy|DRINK]], don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO [[Chris and Death|DEATH]] WITH [[Chris and Health|CANCER,]] LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND [[rule 34|GROSS]] AND [[nudes|DISGUSTING!]]

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Forgive me for raising my voice very loudly, but to ENCOURAGE the True, Straight Love that you obviously OBJECT, I felt it was Required and Necessary. [[Random Access Humour|I can be a "Resetti" too, Mr. Resetti.]]

Peace-Out,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quoteboxred|There wasn't. I never said there was. You assume too much and are way too paranoid about things, this is why I don't want to deal with you. Imagine if you were to flip out on someone while in the workplace like this? It'd be a complete PR disaster.

But I never said nudity or implied anything about your characters sexual preferences.

What I was referring to what the panty shot of Rosechu in one of the first frames. Then you show two characters in bed making love to each other.

Just what the hell kind of game did you want Nintendo to make?

Nintendo has always been in the business of making games for the whole family. That includes children. That is why you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you've shown that you're unable to do so.

Your mind seems too wired on other things. Your head seems to be in the clouds and you don't even know the first thing about being appropriate or tasteful. Did you think this game proposal would even be able to pass through the ESRB?

You know nothing about how the industry works. About things such as company reputation, age appropriate content or content that won't get shot down by the ESRB (look at the whole "Hot Coffee" GTA scandal for example). You just think you can do whatever you want and hope it flies.

Also from what I recall, you sent drawn pornography drawn in colored pencil/marker to Mr. Miyamoto TWICE. Imagine if you did this to someone in a business situation. Do you want me to hire you when you are such a loose cannon?

It's not possible. I can't risk having such a huge liability. And in fact, your behavior is the reason I've decided to remove you indefinitely from Nintendo, and I hope that someday you get your act together (which I don't see happening any time soon).

But until then, this project is over and gone for good. If anything was the last straw, it was this email. I don't have time to fight with you, you are completely unstable, irresponsible and the kind of person who would probably flip out or even hurt someone if he were to put in the workplace.

I'm glad you made that video and cleared everything up. But now, just leave me alone. I'm not going to even bother replying back after this, or if you keep this up.

Also, by the way. You didn't spell your name right at the end of the power point. You wrote it as "ChriSTAIN." That would be grounds for any potential employer to not hire someone. In addition to the behavior you've just displayed and the type of proposal you tried to make, the last thing we need is someone who can't even spell his own name.

Sincerely,
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

----

{{quotebox|Well, the game would not Constantly revolve around the Background Romance; it's called a "Happy Ending".

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quoteboxred|It's not something you show in a business proposal. There is a time and place for everything. But I don't understand why I have to tell this to you.

Either way, it's all over now and I don't want to deal with you anymore. I hope that someday someone takes you to seek consoling or behavioral therapy, and that you someday are able to manage on your own, because I don't have time to listen or try to help you as that is not my job.

Please leave me alone and I hope for the best.

Sincerely,
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

==See also==

* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009]]
* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009]]
* [[The Sonichu Chronicles]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Reggie Fils-Aime|Wikipedia article on Reggie Fils-Aimé]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Fils-Aimé, Reggie}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Amnyfest Ring

2010-09-03T21:00:55Z

ErsatzHouse: Fixed link.

{{quote|One Ring to [[Love Quest|stalk the girls]], 
One Ring to find them, 
One Ring to touch them all, 
and in the darkness [[rape]] them. 
In the town of [[Ruckersville]] where da ladies die.|Probable ring inscription}}

[[Image:ECP_00032.jpg|thumb|left|The One[[ TRUE and HONEST]] ring.]]
[[Image:126499951987.jpg|thumb|Up close.]]
[[Image:Amnyfest.jpg|thumb|And you faggots thought it was his [[Medallion]] that gave him his powers.]]

The '''Amnyfest Ring''', presumably a mispronunciation of "[[Wikipedia:Amethyst|Amethyst]] Ring" (as amethyst is [[Chris's]] [[Wikipedia:Birthstone#Birthstone_lists|birthstone]]), and also referred to as his '''High School Ring''', is Chris's fallback source of his powers to counter the victory cries of trolls dancing in the streets as his [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] were put on display. He then made some new shitty medallion to which this ring could be attached, or some bullshit.

[[Trolls]] are advised not to attempt stealing the US$200 gold ring purchased at [[Wal-Mart]] as that would be theft, which is a felony. Also, it is suspected that, like the One Ring, it corrupts the possessor and can only be destroyed in the caldera of a volcano. Furthermore, even if someone did steal it, he would just go on to say that the power was in his [[Sex toys| anal beads]] all along.

After the events of [[2009#March|04 March 2009]], Chris has indicated that since the High School Ring is the source of all his powers, wearing his Ring is sufficient enough to make a video TRUE and HONEST. However, as he made this statement without wearing the Medallion, this statement cannot be true. Despite this simple logical error on Chris's part, he explicitly shows his high school ring to confirm that it is an "official" video. Since then, (almost) every video has started with Chris briefly showing that he is wearing the Ring, to indicate that it is a TRUE and HONEST video.

Like Chris's [[Semen|DNA]], the ring is indisputable proof of his identity, as no other person could order an amethyst high school ring in the same size with the same engravings. He has explained this in his [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|CWCipedia Mailbag]].

The enormous emotional significance that he attaches to it is further evidence that [[The High School Story|Chris cannot move on from high school]].

On 10 [[January 2010]], Chris, for some reason, started wearing the Ring around his medallion while [[Down with asperchu|calling out Alec Benson Leary]].

The Amnyfest Ring has not appeared in videos for quite some time. It is theorized that its destruction by a heroic Icelandic troll led to the March/April 2010 [[Wikipedia:Eyjafjallajökull|Eyjafjallajökull]] eruption.

==See also==
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]
*[[Sonichu 10]]
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu]]

==External links==
*[http://www.jostens.com/rings/class_rings_lp_hs.html Jostens High School Rings] - of which Chris's is most likely one.

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens

2010-08-29T10:20:35Z

ErsatzHouse: Ortography.

:''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''

[[Image:CWCVille_Rogues_Gallery.png|thumb|<s>[[Mary Lee Walsh]]</s> Slaweel Ryam and her corrupted citizens.]]
[[Image:PVCCitizens.jpg|thumb|The PVCC logo]]

{{quote|After being Laid Off and down on her Love Luck, she sought revenge and make that ALL WILL REMAIN VIRGINS WITHOUT TRUE, HONEST LOVE within the State of Virginia.|[[Chris]], on the origins of the PVCC}}

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' due to numerous grievances he has with the school.

Although it is known that PVCC and its dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] interfered with Chris's [[Love Quest]] and the distribution of the [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter, it remains unclear which particular incident inspired him to coin the term. Within the context of his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for the collective activities of the supervillains of [[CWCville]].

As you can imagine, when [[Cogsdev]] decided to create the troll message boards, [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|it just had to be christened with this name]].

== The fictional history ==

Apparently, [[Mary Lee Walsh]] ([[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as Slaweel Ryam) was "Dean of Student Services" at Piedmont Virginia Community College, around June [[2000]]. She was [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|fired]] for making love potions and selling [[Yawning Squirtle|drugs]] on the side. No, I'm not fucking with [[Gal-pal|you]].<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_early_days_of_Mary_Lee_Walsh.2C_AKA_Slaweel_Ryam</ref>

{{quote|[..] she provided High-Inducing Concoctions to the Bummed Hobos that hung around the campus during Closed Hours.|Chris, on [[Cwcipedia]]}}

The downtrodden [[MLW]] picked herself up and built the "Prowldent Virginia Community College" (Chris fucks up the entire series continuity right here), ten miles north of [[CWCville]]. While building, Mary came into contact with [[Count Graduon]], amplifying her powers. Under the guise of running an educational institution, she begins to recruit the [[Jerkops]] and engineers the first [[Transformers|Decepti-clones]].<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Decepti-Clones</ref>



{{Incomplete}}

===ProwldentVCC or PVCCitizens?===
[[Image:ProwldentVCC.jpg|thumb|right| Another PVCC logo, on the same goddamn page]]

So... is is "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens" or "Prowldent Virginia Community College"?

One could assume that the latter is just an innocently-sounding front for [[MLW]]'s shady business, while the former is the name of her criminal organization. However, in his [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations to his ED article]] Chris called [[MLW]]'s educational facility "PVCCitizens", not "Prowldent Virginia Community College".

He also noted that, though it often goes to war against [[CWCville]] as a whole, it's not a ''city'', but an ''"Evil School"''. A previously unknown type of educational facility, we can only deduce that its goal is to teach children all things evil – like, e.g., an Art School teaches art. It's probably the kind of school [[wikipedia:Doctor Evil|Dr. Evil]] attended, before getting his Doctorate in Evil.

{{Incomplete}}

=== To recap ===

* CWC is heart-shattered. Much whining comes after.
* Nazi golem rampages through town, controlled by [[Mary Lee Walsh|MLW]]. Is soon stopped by Chris and company.
* Chris [[Chris and anger|breaks into Mary's home, beats her up.]]
* Cock-blocking in the mall.
* Yet more cock-blocking.
* MLW traps [[Crystal]], who is saved 5 issues later, possibly due to Chris completely forgetting this plot thread.

== Errors and retcons ==

In ''[[Sonichu 4]]'' it's established that MLW took over [[Manchester High School]], yet in all media that follows the place is still described as the PVCC. Disregarding the creepy little tale known as [[The High School Story]], of course.

According to the [[Cwcipedia]],<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref> Chris fought against the tyrannical PVCC in March [[2004]], in some sort of terrible Go-Bots/Power Rangers/[[Anime]] battle. This runs counter to all of the published comics, in which the only ''Power Ranger''-esque character is [[Bagget]], and the Go-Bots have never been seen.

Akin to Chris claiming that Slaweel and Mary Lee Walsh were separate people, Chris clarifies in one of the [[Official Videobooks]] that the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (PVCC) should be referred to as "PVCCitizens" to distinguish it from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. (It should come as no surprise that Chris has no idea what kind of images the phrase "[[wikipedia:Polyvinyl chloride#Clothing|PVC]] citizens" [[homos|conjures up]] among regular people.)

=== Two Marys ===

Yet another major retcon by Chris, apparently there are two Mary Lee Walshes. Ironically, the one that shattered his heart retired in peace, and was replaced by a malevolent clone, even further bent on torturing Chris.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys</ref> This second Mary would become Slaweel Ryam. ([[Autistic|Clever]], right?)

{{quote|NOTE, the Mary Lee Walsh of the Comic Pages is a Different Person from the one who replaced her at Piedmont Virginia Community College FOR REAL. NO Blood Ties or Relation at all with the First One; and this one had resided in Virginia a LONG Time with her husband and children. She was working at another college before being transferred to PVCC after the OLDER Mary was fired.|Chris, apologizing to the woman he wanted to "mach punch"}}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]

==References==
<references/>

{{CWCverse}}
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category: CWC-isms]]

04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless

2010-08-29T09:13:41Z

ErsatzHouse: Dramatic Glasses Removal

'''04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless''' is a video uploaded on 23 [[April 2010]].

Wearing only his [[muscle bra|sports bra]], Chris reads easily accessible information about [[autism]] that he got from [[Wikipedia]] and autismspeaks.org for about 7 minutes. He gives his advice regarding how to raise an autistic child, but Chris, as the autistic he is, doesn't realize that he can't be taken seriously if he is wearing a bra. Chris then begins his protest against other men walking around shirtless, stating that it should be illegal unless said man is wearing a bra.

Chris appearing in his bra is most likely an attempt to take the wind out of the trolls' sails after [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|the horrors of the day before]]. Note the lack of the [[medallion]], or the [[high school ring]], and the fact that Chris can't explain autism with his own words and that he applies exactly none of the facts he mentions here to his life. And that he talked in a more monotone voice until he was talking about shirtless guys.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless
| video = {{#ev:youtube|oRJGyy7KMh4}}
| stardate = 23 April 2010
| subject = {{Autism|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]
| next = [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
}}

===Transcript===

Good day. I’m here today on this, uh, pleasant day of April 2010 to, uh, discuss autism as it is Autism Awares- Awareness Month. What is Autism? [''Reads off clipboard''] “Autism is a disorder of neutro- of neurodevelopment characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old. Autism affects information processing in the brain [''Points to head''], by altering how nerve cells and nerve synapses connect and organize; how this concerned [''ed--a misreading of 'occurs' ''] is not well understood.” And by where I got this information printed out here from, uh, autismspeaks.org and the Wikipedia page for autism.

[''Deep breath''] “Today, it is estimated that 1 in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes, and pediatric [[9 October 2009|AIDS]] combined. An estimated 1.5 million individuals in the United States and tens of millions worldwide are affected by autism. Studies suggest that boys are a lot more likely than girls to develop autism and receive the diagnosis three to four times more frequently. Current estimates are that in the United States alone, one out of 70 boys is diagnosed with autism."

"As for social symptoms, uh, from the start typically developing infants are social beings. Early in life, they gaze at people, turn toward voices, grasp a finger, and even smile. By contrast, most p-peop- most children with autism seem to have tremendous difficulty learning to engage in the give-and-take of everyday human interactions. Even in the first year of life, many do not interact and avoid eye contact in a nor- normal way. They may seem indifferent to other people, and prefer being alone. They may resist attention or passively accept hugs and cuddling. Children with autism also are slower in learning to interpret what others are thinking and feeling. Subtle social cues — such as a smile, a wave, or a grimace—may have little rema- little meaning to a child with autism. To a child who misses these cues, such things as 'Come here' may always means the same thing, whether the speaker is smiling and extending her arms for a hug or frowning and planting her fists on her hips. Without the ability to interpret ges-tures and facial expressions, the social world may seem bewildering. To compound the problem, people with autism have difficulty seeing things from other pearson's perspective."

[''Turns page on clipboard''] "Most 5-year-olds understand that other people have different thoughts, feelings, and goals when they have- than they have. A child with autism may [[Megan|lack such understanding]]. This inability leaves them [[Trolls|unable to predict or understand other people's actions]]."

"''...predict or understand people’s actions.''"

"Although not universal, it is common for people with autism to have difficulty regulating their emotions. This can take the form of ‘immature’ behavior such as [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|crying in class]] or [[Sub-Episode_2#Sub-Episode_2:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22The_Rise_.26_Fall_of_My_Heart.22|verbal outbursts]] that may seem inappropriate to those around them. Sometimes they may be disruptive and physically aggressive, making social relationships even more difficult. They have a tendency to [[Chris_Loses_It|'lose control']], particularly when they're in a strange or overwhelming environment, or when [[Chris and anger|angry]] and frustrated."

"Communication. By age 3, most children have passed predictable milestones on the path to learning language; one of the earliest is babbling. Babbling. By the first birthday, a typical toddler says a word or two, turns and looks when he hears his name, points when he wants a toy, and when offered something distasteful, makes it clear that the answer is 'no'. [''Scratches head''] Some children diagnosed with autism [[Abusive babysitter|remain mute]] throughout their lives, although the majority develop spoken language and all eventually learn to communicate in some way. Some infants who later show signs of autism coo and babble during the first few months of their life, but they stop. Others may be delayed, developing language as late as age 5 to 9. Some children may learn to use communication systems such as pictures or sign language, or closed captioning for the hearing impaired. Some speak only single words, while others repeat the same phrase over and over. They may repeat or parrot what they hear, a condition called e-cho-la-lia. Although many children with autism go through a stage where they repeat what they hear, it normally passes by the time they are- they are age 3. Another common difficulty is the inability to understand body language, tone of voice, or “phrases of speech.” For example, someone with autism might interpret a sarcastic expression such as “Oh, that's just great” as meaning it really is great."

"While it can be challenging for others to understand what children with autism are most able to say, their body language may also difficult to understand. [[Creepy_stare|Facial expressions]], movements, and [[Claw_of_fail|gestures]] may not match what they are saying. Also, their tone of voice might fail to reflect their feelings. They might use a [[Autism#Chris's_Symptoms|high-pitched, sing-song, or flat, robot-like voice.]] Some children with relatively good language skills speak like little adults, [''Turns page''] failing to pick up on the kid's speak that is common in their peers. Without meaningful gestures, or the language to ask for things, people with autism are less able to let other know- others know what they are need. As a result, they may simply [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|scream]] or [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Don.27t_Kiss_Me.2C_Bro|grab]] for what they want until they are taught. Better ways to express their needs. Children with autism do whatever they can to get though to others. As they grow up, they can become increasingly aware of their difficulties in understanding others and being understood."

"Repetitive behaviors. Although children with autism usually appear physically normal, odd repetitive motions may set them apart from other children. These behaviors might be extreme and highly apparent, or more subtle. Some chi- some children and other individuals repeatedly flap their arms, or walk on their toes, some simply freeze in position. As children, individuals with autism might spend hours lining up their cars or trains in a certain way, rather than using them for pretend play. Someone moves one of the toys, the children m-may be tremendously upset. Many children with autism meed and demand absolute consistency in their environment. A slight change in routine, such as meal time, dressing, [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|take a bath]], or going to school at the same time or by a certain route can be extremely stressful. Unless the child has made apparent that the change is okay and acceptable. Repetitive behavior sometimes takes the form of a [[China|persistent intense preoccupation.]] These strong interests may be unusual, because their [[Semen#Recycling|content]], or because the [[Love Quest|intensity]] of the interest. Treatment for autism is very intensive, comprehensive undertaking that involves the child's entire family and a team of professionals. Some programs may take place in a child's home with professionals and a trained therapist and may include parental training for the child under supervision of a professional. Some programs are delivered in a specialized center, clu-sumes, or preschool." [''Puts paper down'']

[[File:SonichuBra.jpg|thumb|Sonichu, covering his shame in light of Chris's new legislation.]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|left|thumb|[[Chris and hypocrisy|That would be '''all''' men, right?]]]]
Though, as for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though [[Chris and reality|normal life]]. I mean yeah, gib'em [[Monthly tugboat|the special treatment while they're young]] but when you gottdem in elementary- but when you geddem in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go. Make sure you find yourself a good social teacher teach dem how to cope! And as you may have noticed, I am standing here today... topless [''Grabs bra and pushes it upwards''], as you might say. I do this in defense, and in protest, because everytime I-because every time I see a ([[Pedo-Glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|''removes glasses dramatically'']]) male individual who goes around or runs around or exercises shirtless, it is very offensive to me. And I do not appreciate that. And I am sure that it is a lot offens- it is offensive to a-a lot of other people as well. And a-madafra if I could, I would say that-I would make a LAW that would require all male individuals to wear a sports bra while they are out exercising or working if they insist on being shirtless! Come'oin dude, get with [[Gaybian|the program]]! No one wants to see these nips! And things are better left a mystery! I leave you all with that, and you have yourself a pleasant, safe day.
{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]|nextlink=[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User:ErsatzHouse

2010-07-10T10:10:24Z

ErsatzHouse:

I am both fascinated and repulsed by the manchild. Actually, a bit by CWCwiki too, in a way. GodJesus, I certainly wouldn't like to have the trolls as enemies. Ever.

{{Eurofag}}
{{Artfag}}
{{Agnostic}}
{{Straight}}
{{White}}
{{GrammarNazi|}}
{{Virgin_with_rage|}}
{{Observer}}

Oh, and Desi is the best Chandler cat <s>hands</s> paws down, because:

# He endured with feline aloofness [[Barbara]]'s deathly and sudorific embrace at least once. Honestly, that's a feat.
# His slippery shit, liberally scattered all over the house, constitutes both a biological and practical hazard - indirectly trolling its inhabitants. [[Vivitheg%27s_AIM_chat|Especially Chris.]]
# He's fucking fat, making him a fitting companion for Chris;
# He's probably dead, therefore a martyr.

Snorlax-proof, dirty, gluttonous and scarcely aware of his environment, Desi is the feline version of Chris. And for that, I shall proudly display the following userbox.

{{Desi}}

User:ErsatzHouse

2010-07-10T09:37:24Z

ErsatzHouse:

User:ErsatzHouse

2010-07-10T09:30:42Z

ErsatzHouse:

McIntire Park

2010-07-10T09:26:39Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Chris on NBC */ <pedantic> Chris shows up at 1:08. </pedantic>

[[Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|thumb|left|HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE DOGWOOD FESTIVAL!]]
[[Image:Sonichu Rosechu Save McIntire by Cwcipedia.jpg|thumb|Actually, the park isn't free either. Tax payers pay for it through [[monthly tugboat|taxes]]. THE MOAR YOU KNOW.]]
[[Image:Z100 0827.jpg|thumb|right| Hooray! Our Heroes!!]]

'''McIntire Park''' is a park in [[Charlottesville, VA]] which has apparently become a favorite hangout of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] during [[2009]]. It features a chalkboard wall where visitors can leave whatever messages (or drawings of your [[Sonichu (character)|favorite hedgehog hero]]!) as they see fit. Every April, the annual [http://www.charlottesvilledogwoodfestival.org/ Dogwood Festival] is held at the park, featuring a fireworks display.

The park was at the center of a local controversy, due to plans to reallocate part of the area to a new [[Wikipedia:YMCA|YMCA]] facility and a parkway. In the summer of 2009, Chris joined the effort to save the park, presumably out of his insatiable need for attention rather than any particular concern for the public good.

==Chris on NBC==
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|''"I think what we're saying here... it's going to be compromised,"'' – said Mala Cunningham at just that same moment. Little did she know...]]
On 22 [[July 2009]], local NBC affiliate WVIR ran a story on the 6 o'clock news about the controversy surrounding the park. During an interview with a representative of the McIntire Preservation Community, Chris managed to walk into the shot making sure to carefully hold up his [[Sonichu medallion]] to make sure people would know who he is. This is one of a handful of times Chris has been seen in sunlight.
{{Clear}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|KmPSkNrgjys}}</center>
<center>Chris shows up at 1:08 if you want to skip to it.</center>

==Chris in a Council Meeting==
At some point prior to 14 [[August 2009]], Chris created a two-foot-wide sign featuring [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]] with giant wads of babbling text, intended to express support for the park. The youngsters are holding extremely tiny signs that read "SAVE MCINTIRE PARK," which would be impossible to read from more than six feet away, rendering the sign largely useless.

The sign would be seen in [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|a video]] where Chris used his artwork to refute the claims of [[CChanSonichuCWC]]. On 17 August Chris brought the sign with him to a Charlottesville city council meeting, and was recognized for his effort. Chris began to ramble until the city council told him to pipe down, earning the envy of millions.

It is possible that, since Chris is like a sponge to mass media, he thinks that he will be seen as a "hero" if he succeeds at saving McIntire, due to various pieces of media using this [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SavingTheOrphanage trope] as a plot point.

<center>{{#ev:youtube|9go8K2mskJw}}</center>

===Transcript===
''[transcription starts at 0:30, speaker is Bob Fenwick]''

Fenwick: I would also like to call special attention to a young man, Christian Chandler, who's in the audience, who spent a great deal of time making his own save McIntire sign.

''[applause, Chris starts shouting in the audience]''

Chris: Indeed!

Hmm. It's less expensive for McIntire Park. Membership is required for the YMCA and plus the wading pool should be bigger and deeper.

''[gets cut off by chairman]''

Chairman: Eh, heheh, one speaker at a time. Thank you.

''[Audience laughs]''

Fenwick: Now, I think you all...

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=McIntirePark}}
*[http://savemcintire.org Save McIntire]
{{clear}}

==See also:==
*[[Charlottesville, VA]]
*[[CWCville|CWCville Park/CWC-Central Park]]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Mass debating

2010-07-01T08:21:53Z

ErsatzHouse: heathenous -> heathen

{{Honest}}

[[Image:Democrats_mass_debate.jpg|thumb|right||Democratic Presidential Candidates mass debating correctly.]]
[[Image:CWCmassdebate.jpg|thumb|right||Chris doing it wrong.]]
'''Mass debating''' ([[Virginia is for Virgins|which is something Chris will be doing for the rest of his life]]) is the [[CWC-ism]] for the act of masturbation. He has informed his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] of his "mass debating" habit.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> When he first started mass debating, he did so by lying face down on his bed and rubbing his [[duck]] with a washcloth.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> In early 2009 he would sit on the bathroom washbasin as he defiled himself.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> He openly admits to doing this and has even been recorded by [[trolls]] on several occasions engaging in this vile, heathen act.

On Valentine's Day 2009, [[Bob Chandler|his father]] [[Bob Walks In|walked in]] on his son mass debating, leading to Chris's internet being cut down.

May or may not include [[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirtin']].

==Discovery==
[[Image:ILikeToPlayGamesToo.jpg|right|thumb|Now imagine Chris fapping]]
Based on a PSN chat with [[PandaHalo]] and [[Chris_Chat_27_December_2008#Transcript|an IRC chat]], Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16:

{{quote|actually figured it out for myself, in my room one night after having unlocked the parental lock; I found the pool scene in "I Like to Play Games Too", and I just figured it out for myself.}}

==Frequency==
{{quote|And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on his mass debating<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997802418#The_Megan_Saga Chris's MySpace blog, via ED]</ref>}}

While it is assumed by many that Chris has an uncontrolled sex drive and spends his days whacking it, the opposite is true. Rather, Chris has admitted to whacking off at least twice in a given week (though based on chats,{{cite}} it seems that he limits it to twice). Possible factors for this include the fact that he has a bent [[duck]] which would make masturbation painful, in addition to a possibly low libido due to an unhealthy life style which may make it hard for him to maintain an erection. The sex audio with [[Julie]] seems to indicate that it takes Chris around twenty minutes to orgasm, which means that masturbation for Chris must be physically exhausting (especially for someone whose view of exercise is that of standing up while playing [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar Hero]]).

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris Sex Videos]]
*[[Semen]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Fridays After Five

2010-06-21T05:58:12Z

ErsatzHouse: /* What we can get out of this */

== To Do ==
I don't normally do this whole to do thing, but...
*<s>Get a gallery of this stuff up.
*put up the video like we have all his others.</s>
Maybe get some more background information, if we can.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:That was quick.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:26, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== What we can get out of this ==
These files prove that Chris is actually going to more social even its, influenced by rocky, but also we learned that he is creepy enough to wear his bra in public and he still dances like a turkey mating. Considering the bra is more like a "sign" of some sorts, could this be added into the "love quest" page?.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:55, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:This latest turn of events has proven that Chris trolls himself harder than anyone else ever could. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Chris is actually going out now, huh? I think it's clear it won't work and once Chris realizes this he'll be back to his old self again. Come to think of it, we could use this video to give him a false sense of paranoia, by claiming we have people following him. This could get us a nice reaction.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 02:10, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Did anybody else notice the absence of the Medallion of Fail? Any other photo? It's kind of historic if he really ventured out of his cubbyhole without it, whatever the reason. Also, the (wraparound?) glasses. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 05:58, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

You know, the last time he was out this much was during his love quest, getting his ass kicked by jerkops and manajerks in the real world. Perhaps we can start seeing something similar in the near future? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

We can hope. In the meantime I called Chris and left a message saying that the trolls are now stalking him in real life now, going with Hirro's idea to give him paranoia. I figure we can try scaring him back onto the internet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:24, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I also sent him an e-mail message linking to the videos recorded of him at the event with the subject stating that he was being followed. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yay~ People liked my idea. But if we're going with it, we'll need more sightings. Also, Independence day surprise?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 05:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Yes... he truly has nowhere to run now. And I hope Clyde hasn't forgotten his promise for an Independence Day surprise. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I completely forgot about that [[User:Sinisterminister|Sinisterminister]] 04:00, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

He had better not have forgotten it. Because if he does, I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! Seriously though. We need a PS3 hacking. Soon. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all thank our greatest operative, Rochelle Shoemaker, for this bounty of lulz.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:36, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Good thing this happened. Now to wait for him to check his e-mail, then my crazed troll plan will start... --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Trollish]] 02:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

* I love how the first thing that popped into everyone's mind was "Gay Trucker"... That alone will be enough for Chris to loose his shit. On a side note, Chris now officially fails at dancing and public decency (If wearing a shirt that says "I love vagina" to a family event doesn't do it, I don't know what does) --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 22:53, 18 June 2010 (EST)
**/me waits for the cops to knock at his door... [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the HAHAHA]] 03:05, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Heh, this might have something to do with an email I sent him. I suggested he check out [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_Punk Desert Punk] It's about a lecherous twat who's obsessed with getting laid, but women find him rude and repulsive. It's got plenty of fan service though, and the main character, despite being depicted as a loser when it comes to sex, is still standard anime fare badass-goofy (like Vash the Stampede in Trigun) so it should appeal to him. There is one story element that I was hoping Chris would see and not go over his head, the introduction of the loli character. To quote the wiki article
:"Kosuna is the former apprentice of the Shimmer Sniper. Her goal is to become the desert's number one "power babe" mercenary, meaning stronger than any man and more beautiful than any woman. After the Shimmer Sniper is defeated by Kanta, Kosuna follows him and constantly begs to be made his apprentice. Kanta highly objects at first but eventually accepts her after she shows him a picture of a large breasted woman Kosuna claims to be her mother, implying how attractive Kosuna would be in years to come. Kanta, a heavily perverted guy, can't help but accept her, though his personal motives are clearly to groom Kosuna to be his personal mate when she grows up."
Sounds like building a sweetheart from the ground up, 'eh? I never got a reply, despite sending it to his gmail, aol, and youtube accounts. If he did read it and check it out, this could be indicative of his apparent courtship of little girls. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:51, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
:He wasn't courting little girls, the girls got near him because he had a DS and they wanted to play it too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:54, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::In that pic, maybe. Why else would he boogie down surrounded by delicious loli while wearing his new "attraction ensemble"? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:::You're putting way too much thought into this. Chris isn't a pedophile, he's just really, really stupid and socially inept. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::::Neither was that character. Another episode had them sharing a sleeping bag the survive a cold desert night, and he freaked out. The intent is for Chris to get the idea that creating a close bond with one or a harem of loli will enable him to brainwash the little tykes into something he can fuck in a few years. The deviousness comes from the fact that Chris is incapable understanding boundaries and his idea that showing minors porn is "educational". --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Oh god, this was creepy. Spotting him amongst the crowd was like watching those 'Slender Man' videos, only it was insanely easy to find the horror. I think this proves that, when left to his own devices, Chris A) Acts more like a dumbass than ever before, or B) Gets himself into trouble with the law. I was afraid he was going to try to murder someone, but this proves he's a perfectly healthy human being. Also, I hope the little girl in the photo said 'no' when he likely offered her candy. --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 19 June 2010
::More likely, if he had any candy, he would have eaten it all himself. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:25, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

:You know what Chris? Stay off the internet. You're even more of a lolcow in real life. Seriously, this is hilariously creepy and awesome. Definitely add this into the Love Quest page, because his crappy "Captain Morgan" pose in multiple different places with his... bra sign... cruelly in plain sight of everyone is an obvious extension of his love search. Except I think the Gameboy and sign was slightly better for him, because at least then he could get sympathy. This is literally indecent and just disgusting. I'm a fat guy myself, and I'd never even consider just randomly taking my shirt off in a public place. Let alone if I was wearing a bra...([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 05:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
::The only downside to that is someone has to be there to record him acting like a dumbass in public, or else we'd never know any of the shit he gets himself into. We lucked out this time. There's probably plenty of times he did stuff like this when noone was around to film him or take pictures of him and we'll never know unless Chris mentions it himself with plenty of bias, no doubt. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:30, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

== Started a video box. ==

Added the 100_0690.MOV thru 100_0692.MOV as a starter. [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the still HAHAHA]] 04:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Why show his bra?==

Clearly, Chris doesn't have any compunctions about proving to the world that he wears women's underwear because he's a retard, but being that this was clearly a family event and he was wearing a shirt about pussy, could Jerkops have made him change? Any way of knowing? —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 05:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:If he keeps coming back and someone complains, it's likely the jerkops will intervene. And this time, in front of hundreds of witnesses. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 05:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
* I would say, with something like this, Jerkops could have gotten him to change the shirt easily, though if this was a free event, which I wouldn't be surprised at all, they probably wouldn't fully enforce it. The bra, on the other hand, is completely different. If a woman was running around in her bra, yes, they would stop her, but this is ''Chris'' we're talking about here. Since he's a guy, I'm guessing they don't see many guys running around in bras, so they wouldn't think twice.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:56, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Can't he be charged for indecent exposure or dissorderly conduct or something?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]]
* Probably not, since he's not actually indecently exposing anything. It's not illegal as far as I know for a man to go around shirtless, and this seems to be more of an outdoor community street fair, so I don't think policies like that can really be enforced. Even if they were, he's not technically shirtless, since he's wearing a bra. But he should definitely have to change the shirt, with so many little kids around. Well, at least it's better than the Mount and Dew Me one. Seeing as that one is a legitimately homosexual t-shirt. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 06:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
** Yeah, in most every place I know of in the USA a man can go topless, though a woman can't. So Chris wearing a bra in public wouldn't be indecent exposure. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== The innocent ==

The girl's face is blocked in the cropped photo but the one in the gallery remains clear. What's the policy then? [[User:Nechita|Nechita]] 06:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

It's a joke--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== There are more photos ==

Post them all. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:18, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*[[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|Get to it then]] :p. Also, we need an uncensored version of that one with the kid. Justification - 1) whoever made the set ("Archie Bunker") would have censored it if he felt like it was a concern for the child, 2) a child's privacy is probably not going to be threatened by inclusion in a picture, 3) I can't think of any troll who is obsessed enough to track down a girl who look at Chris in a picture just to get info or whatever from her. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:03, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::Also it's badly edited - looks terrible. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Pokéwalker? ==

What the hell does he use that for?--[[User:OrsonZedd|OrsonZedd]] 14:16, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I played a downloaded version of Heartgold so I didn't get one, but it's my understanding that you put one of your pokemon in it or onto it and when you walk around it gives the pokemon xp. So, he uses it to level up his pokemon. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 14:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:According to [[Wikipedia:Nintendo_DS_accessories#Pok.C3.A9walker|Wikipedia]]:
:''The Pokéwalker is a Poké Ball-shaped pedometer which can connect to Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver game cards via infrared signals. The player can transfer a Pokémon to the Pokéwalker from either HeartGold or SoulSilver. Every time the player takes a step, the Pokémon inside gains experience points and the player earns "Watts", a type of in-game currency which was also used on the Pokémon Pikachu virtual pet. Players can also catch various Pokémon on the device and obtain items, then transfer them to the game. The device comes bundled with the games.''
--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:19, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:* I confirm. I have seen such a device onto action and it is quite easy to accumulate xp. If I remember clearly, it gives the owner a single xp by step. So this will not influence the girth of our manchild. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
== I can't believe it ==
Why is he wearing a manbra with writing. and WHY hasnt the police arrested him or something for doing that.
T_T The poor children are scared....especially when he dances with em, what a PEDOFORK. >.<
[[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

* As long as he isn't causing a problem with it the messages on his clothing are technically covered by the first amendment. At least if it's on public property. ---[[User:ConCat|ConCat]] 15:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== This is fucking hilarious ==

It's true... Chris trolls himself harder than we do.

I say we leave him off the internet for a while and observe him, see if he does more dumb shit. If not (or nothing out of the ordinary), we can always get him back with Hiiro's plan of making him paranoid. [[User:Doctor Nuriel|Doctor Nuriel]] 17:37, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*I had thoughts of sending him an email full of shots of his house from Google Maps with the Google crap cropped out along with random gay porn pictures in an attachment to him to see how scared he gets. -- [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Cunning]] 17:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
** you are a huge faggot and that's a horrible idea. -- [[User:Boop|Boop]] 19:51, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

==Maybe it's just me, but==
In some of these videos/pictures, when Chris is standing with his back to the crowd, it looks to me like he's sticking his ass out as far as he can. Remember, Chris thinks he has a great ass (can't remember where he said that, so if you guys know please tell me), so it wouldn't surprise me if this was an intentional ploy to get a gal-pal, though it ends up looking unnatural and creepy. Best example: [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:100_0678.JPG this image] in which he is sitting, but in a manner which to me looks incredibly unnatural. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:Don't remember him saying this, but totally possible. [http://cogsdev.org/w/images/thumb/0/02/0779-CWCREAR.JPG/450px-0779-CWCREAR.JPG Pic related.] --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::He's definitely posing. What's more the only time he wasn't posing is when he was playing the Vidja. Every time he's trying to position himself to appear cool and relaxed, and ends up looking awkward and terrifying. I'm sure in his mind this makes him incredibly attractive to the ladies, but we all know how good Chris's mind is.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Isn't one effect of autism not knowing how to position yourself in a "natural" way? Chris might just fail at standing and/or posture. God knows he doesn't have much practice at either. -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 01:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

==So how long has it been?==
I added a minor note on Chris mentioning FAF in the 6/6/2010 video. Can anyone confirm or deny if 6/4 was the first time he visited the event? I know the 6/6 video was the first time he talked about it.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 01:35, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

Fridays After Five

2010-06-21T05:46:03Z

ErsatzHouse:

[[Image:Fa5 2colorlogo.jpg|thumb|100px|Chris's new [[attraction Location|prowling ground]]]]
'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. [[Chris]] was video recorded there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

==First Mentioning==

Chris first mentioned Fridays After Five in a [[6 June 2010|video]] explaining his near hit-and-run with [[The GAMe PLACe]] manager [[Michael Snyder]]. Based upon this knowledge, the manchild has been attending the event since at least 4 June 2010.

==Chris sighting==
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|Chris trying to pick up a [[boyfriend-free girl]].]]
[[Image:Dancing.gif|right]]
On 18 [[June 2010]], Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan ([[YouTube]] name [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]) took these videos and pictures of him out in public. According to the man who took these photos, he says Chris wore a T-shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "[[gay]] circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|PokéWalker]]. At some point Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]" on with permanent marker. Also notable the apparent, inexplicable (knowing Chris) absence of the [[Medallion_of_Fail|Medallion of Fail]] - although it could have been removed just temporarily in order to simplify the (probably planned) act of pulling back the shirt.

Chris's clothing indicates he is looking to put a new twist on his [[Love_Quest|old tricks]]. Like the [[Attraction_sign|attraction sign]], Chris is shown making a point to display the writing on his clothing, declaring that he "enjoys vagina" and "wants woman." This is yet another example that this [[autistic]] man-child does not learn from the mistakes of his past. Also, the videos filmed at this event mostly showed the back of Chris's head. If you look closely, you can see a small [[bald]] spot emerging.

Besides exposing his covered bosom to potential [[sweetheart]]s, mostly [[pedofork|severely underage]], Chris spent his time at the event [[Flipnote Hatena|drawing flipnotes]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi and trying to dance, with all the grace and skill of [[CWC Fighter]].

It's unlikely Chris was aware he was being photographed, which makes the weird posing seen in many of the pictures even weirder, meaning this was his weird-assed way of trying to be normal. When Chris eventually realized (or it seemed so) he was being observed, suddenly he disappeared like Batman.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:100 0669.JPG|The return of the King.
File:100 0670.JPG|[[100 2178|All alone.]]
File:100 0671.JPG|Fuck yeah! A [[gal-pal]]!
File:100 0673.JPG|The gal pal's gone...
File:100 0674.JPG|Oh! Potential new gal-pals!
File:100 0676.JPG|Creepy...
File:100 0677.JPG|...fucking...
File:100 0678.JPG|...scene.
File:100 0681.JPG|Eventually, an urgent need to <s>play some vidya</s> [[Flipnote Hatena|DRAW SOME SHIT]] prevails.
File:100 0682.JPG|Chris enjoying the real world. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an 8 year old.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot.
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris. Notice that he hasn't bothered to fully remove his shirt.
File:100 0695.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom.
File:100 0696.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT GODDAMN
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies.
</gallery>
</center>

==Videos==

{{collapsible
|Videos of Chris in a public place, a rare sight.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = manchild
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J4dib0pmpjE}}
| Stardate = 18 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0690.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tbU7ao0i-Ew}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0691.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDlJ-ZY5Opk}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0692.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vdibt4Ll2gs}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Rollin' and Trollin']]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download]

[[Category:Social life]]

User:ErsatzHouse

2010-04-24T21:14:26Z

ErsatzHouse:

User:ErsatzHouse

2010-04-24T21:13:05Z

ErsatzHouse:

User:ErsatzHouse

2010-04-24T21:12:24Z

ErsatzHouse:

User:ErsatzHouse

2010-04-24T20:58:44Z

ErsatzHouse: Created page with 'Just a TRUE AND HONEST Eurofag fan.'

Just a TRUE AND HONEST Eurofag fan.

User talk:ErsatzHouse

2010-04-24T20:58:24Z

ErsatzHouse: Blanked the page

Chris and fashion

2010-04-24T20:57:16Z

ErsatzHouse: /* Wardrobe */ Added link - Muscle Bra -> Autism Awareness video

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|150px|right|Fashion is constant.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to spend thousands of dollars on video games, action figures, [[My Little Pony]]s and [[Kimmi|sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful, collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

In [[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] it was revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Kick the Autistic|treat him with sympathy]]. Alternatively, the reason could also be the fact that the Chandlers aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy". Despite his mother not being the one who dresses him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts possibly out of a strong aversion to "change," which is a common trait shared among autistic people. It has been debated amongst trolls that Chris would probably look somewhat-almost normal if he only wore a fucking t-shirt every now and then (sans video game/cartoon characters).

== Childhood ==
In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and tee shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored tee shirts or shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and television characters on them. The only article of clothing he currently owns that doesn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the Pokémon T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|right|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

Chris's typical outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a striped/weirdly patterned rugby shirt, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) / his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to the Glasses Chain of Fail.
* Jeans (It is likely that he wears women's jeans because they define his rear end to disturbing levels) or khaki slacks.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt.
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* Recently, a [[sports bra]] to keep previously mentioned bosoms in check.

The newest addition to his wardrobe is the [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Mount and Do Me shirt]].

==The "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBA]]" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (Glasses Chain of Fail remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

Unconfirmed reports state that he was seen walking around downtown [[Charlottesville]] blasting Guns 'n' Roses from a pocket radio and trying to pick up women.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white, and blue, implying a patriotic view of the colors.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_27th%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_18th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|4]] [[CWC's_"It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show_RESPECT_to_me,_"C"CWC|12]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|13]] [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_24th%2C_2008|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_Columbus_Day%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_6th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_10th%2C_2009|4]] [[12_January_2010|5]] [[14_January_2010|6]] [[What's_the_Name,_Christian_Chandler,_C_H_R_I_S_C_H_A_N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"The Impostor" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2008|1]] [[Chop_Chop_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_17th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_4th%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|3]] [[Challenge_for_Clyde_II|4]] [[15_October_2009|5]] [[9_December_2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_10th%2C_2009|2]] [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|3]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_August_3rd%2C_2008|1]] [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|2]] [[LOOK_at_the_truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[More_for_the_crabs|2]] [[ECV_00081|3]] [[Bunny_Hop|4]] [[11052009_Kacey,_I_Love_You,_and_I_Need_You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"Two-Faced" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_23rd%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|3]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_August_6th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_8th%2C_2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_13th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_6th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_9th%2C_2009|2]] [[I_am_devoted_to_My_Sweetest_Ivy|3]] [[Matthew_5_27%2C_CWC_Confessions|4]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_17th%2C_2009|5]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_22nd%2C_2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9_October_2009|8]] [[Warning_-_Naughty_Women_;)|9]] [[Old_Time_Rock_and_Roll_on_Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal_Legend|11]] [[3_December_2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris_Destroys_His_Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC_only_accepts_IN-PERSON_FEMALE_Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|8]] [[Hello,_Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_January_21st,_2009|1]] [[CWC_Callout_for_Miss_Emily_and_Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris_Chan's_Public_Announcement|1]] [[A_Sonichu_Day|2]] [[Shout_out_to_Fans_in_Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa_the_Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51_50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle_bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010_-_Autism_Awareness_%26_Men_Should_NEVER_be_Topless|1]]
</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

== Cosplaying Chris ==

[[Image:Chris chan cosplay.jpg|thumb|right|Christ, you can tell this world is totally fucked up when people start cosplaying AS Chris!!!]]

Chris appeared in his [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally created as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the 2004 [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against 5 kids dressed up as Team Rocket. The prize was a t-shirt.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> For a while, he resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]].

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* Pokémon League ballcap
* Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)
The ensemble is usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' tee-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below).

Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]].

<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|This is the most depressing thing ever seen by man kind.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|A sketch of the costume. It's so brilliant, its voluptuous lines and shading caresses your eyes like a sensual piece of chocolate dipped velvet...
Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|Dat hat is a-pretty-a-goddamn dirty
</gallery></center>

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and fashion

2010-04-24T20:53:59Z

ErsatzHouse:

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|150px|right|Fashion is constant.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to spend thousands of dollars on video games, action figures, [[My Little Pony]]s and [[Kimmi|sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful, collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

In [[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] it was revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Kick the Autistic|treat him with sympathy]]. Alternatively, the reason could also be the fact that the Chandlers aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy". Despite his mother not being the one who dresses him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts possibly out of a strong aversion to "change," which is a common trait shared among autistic people. It has been debated amongst trolls that Chris would probably look somewhat-almost normal if he only wore a fucking t-shirt every now and then (sans video game/cartoon characters).

== Childhood ==
In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and tee shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored tee shirts or shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and television characters on them. The only article of clothing he currently owns that doesn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the Pokémon T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|right|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

Chris's typical outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a striped/weirdly patterned rugby shirt, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) / his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to the Glasses Chain of Fail.
* Jeans (It is likely that he wears women's jeans because they define his rear end to disturbing levels) or khaki slacks.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt.
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* Recently, a [[sports bra]] to keep previously mentioned bosoms in check.

The newest addition to his wardrobe is the [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Mount and Do Me shirt]].

==The "[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBA]]" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (Glasses Chain of Fail remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

Unconfirmed reports state that he was seen walking around downtown [[Charlottesville]] blasting Guns 'n' Roses from a pocket radio and trying to pick up women.

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white, and blue, implying a patriotic view of the colors.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_27th%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_18th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_19th%2C_2009|4]] [[CWC's_"It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show_RESPECT_to_me,_"C"CWC|12]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|13]] [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_24th%2C_2008|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_Columbus_Day%2C_2008|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_6th%2C_2009|3]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_10th%2C_2009|4]] [[12_January_2010|5]] [[14_January_2010|6]] [[What's_the_Name,_Christian_Chandler,_C_H_R_I_S_C_H_A_N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"The Impostor" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_October_9th%2C_2008|1]] [[Chop_Chop_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_17th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_4th%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_27th%2C_2009|3]] [[Challenge_for_Clyde_II|4]] [[15_October_2009|5]] [[9_December_2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_January_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_March_10th%2C_2009|2]] [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|3]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_August_3rd%2C_2008|1]] [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|2]] [[LOOK_at_the_truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_12th%2C_2009|1]] [[More_for_the_crabs|2]] [[ECV_00081|3]] [[Bunny_Hop|4]] [[11052009_Kacey,_I_Love_You,_and_I_Need_You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"Two-Faced" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_23rd%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain%27s_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|2]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_3rd%2C_2009|3]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_August_6th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_8th%2C_2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_September_13th%2C_2008|1]] [[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_6th%2C_2009|1]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_9th%2C_2009|2]] [[I_am_devoted_to_My_Sweetest_Ivy|3]] [[Matthew_5_27%2C_CWC_Confessions|4]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_17th%2C_2009|5]] [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_May_22nd%2C_2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9_October_2009|8]] [[Warning_-_Naughty_Women_;)|9]] [[Old_Time_Rock_and_Roll_on_Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal_Legend|11]] [[3_December_2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris_Destroys_His_Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC_only_accepts_IN-PERSON_FEMALE_Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|8]] [[Hello,_Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_January_21st,_2009|1]] [[CWC_Callout_for_Miss_Emily_and_Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris_Chan's_Public_Announcement|1]] [[A_Sonichu_Day|2]] [[Shout_out_to_Fans_in_Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa_the_Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51_50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle_bra|Muscle Bra]]"
</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

== Cosplaying Chris ==

[[Image:Chris chan cosplay.jpg|thumb|right|Christ, you can tell this world is totally fucked up when people start cosplaying AS Chris!!!]]

Chris appeared in his [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] costume from around [[2000]] to [[2004]]. It was originally created as a Halloween costume in either [[1998]] or [[1999]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> He proudly wore it to [[The GAMe PLACe]] every week<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17515#p17515 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> and to the 2004 [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention. With it, he won a costume contest against 5 kids dressed up as Team Rocket. The prize was a t-shirt.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 2</ref> For a while, he resurrected this look for his profile picture on [[The Hook Cafe]].

The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
* Faux-denim vest
* Cut up gardening gloves
* Pokémon League ballcap
* Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)
The ensemble is usually accompanied by a yellow ''[[Pokémon]]'' tee-shirt, or white ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]'' tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below).

Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his [[obesity|obscene girth]].

<center><gallery>
Image:0501-CWCAsh2.jpg
Image:0502-CWCAsh3.jpg|HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg
Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|This is the most depressing thing ever seen by man kind.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|A sketch of the costume. It's so brilliant, its voluptuous lines and shading caresses your eyes like a sensual piece of chocolate dipped velvet...
Image:502-CWCsAshVest.JPG|Dat hat is a-pretty-a-goddamn dirty
</gallery></center>

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User talk:ErsatzHouse

2010-04-24T20:50:00Z

ErsatzHouse: Created page with 'Just a TRUE AND HONEST Eurofag fan.'

Just a TRUE AND HONEST Eurofag fan.

File:Sportsbra.png

2010-04-24T20:49:28Z

ErsatzHouse: Image of the Sports Bra for the Fashion page.

Image of the Sports Bra for the Fashion page.