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Piedmont Virginia Community College

2016-12-22T16:41:29Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Chris's academic life */

:''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''

[[Image:RealPVCCLogo.jpg|thumb|The public education system has failed us miserably...]]

'''Piedmont Virginia Community College''' is Chris's collegiate [[Wikipedia:alma mater|''alma mater'']], a [[Wikipedia:Community college|community college]] located in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]]. At PVCC, [[Chris]] earned an [[Wikipedia:Applied science|Applied Science]] Associate's Degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. After [[Slow-in-the-minds|five years of study]], Chris earned his degree, even though students are expected to earn associate's degrees after two years in the U.S. He also made the Dean's List, or so he claims.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]: "I earned two degrees in Computer Aided Drafting and Design at Piedmont Virginia Community College, and made the Dean's List."</ref>

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], PVCC is the realm of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. In real life, Walsh, in her role as Dean of Student Affairs, gave Chris a hard time on his [[Love Quest]] and at points shattered his heart, lowering his [[heart level|level]] to nearly zero. Chris took revenge in his own inimitable fashion, making her into a character in his comics: the evil witch in command of a villainous group known as the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

==Chris's academic life==

Chris was probably both unwilling and [[Honor roll|unable]] to go to a better school, so PVCC was chosen for his collegiate career, likely by his parents.

As a community college, the institution is not prestigious, accepting all applicants and not offering any degrees higher than an associate's. Nevertheless, we have its Dean of Student Services to thank for teaching (or at least attempting to teach) Chris some of the best lessons of his life - much to his chagrin, of course.

Chris began classes in PVCC in [[2000#September|September 2000]]. For reasons unknown, even to Chris, he originally chose Marketing as his major. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] quickly transferred Chris to the [[CADD]] track, probably considering it a more attainable goal for Chris, this being a time before Bob had completely given up on Chris as a functioning adult.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_is_lazy.2C_Hates_simple_chores]]</ref>

Chris has said very little about his college academic career and appears to have learned even less. We do know that by the grace of God he graduated (having taken '''five years'''), and according to the PVCC Student Handbook in force while Chris was a student, he had to earn the following credits to acquire his particular '''two-year''' degree. Note that the college considered 15 credits per semester to be a normal load, and 12 to be the minimum.

[[Image:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|For reference, this is what Chris wore to college.]]

3 - English Composition

3 - Humanities/Fine Arts

6 - Social/Behavioral Sciences

3 - Math or Natural Sciences

2 - Wellness

1 - Student Development

12 - Specific to CADD degree

35 - Other major related, not specified.

______________________

65 - Total<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20050122014451/http://pvcc.edu/College%20Catalog%202004-2006%20%20for%20web/piedmont_virginia_community_coll.htm]</ref>

For the CADD degree specifically, Chris's requirements were:

3 - Computer-Aided Drafting I

3 - Computer-Aided Drafting II

6 - Additional courses approved by advisor.

________________________

12 - Total<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20040324223330/http://www.pvcc.edu/cadlab/csc-m.htm]</ref>

In other words, his CADD advisor would have played a very large role in guiding Chris towards the appropriate background and prerequisite courses. The nature of this relationship is unknown, but it can safely be assumed that Chris was passive and uninterested in what was decided for him. [[Bob]] probably had more contact with the CADD faculty than Chris did.

When Chris entered the college, he was required to consult with an academic counselor, who would also help him plan a schedule. He was also no doubt in close touch with the Counseling Center throughout his time there, given his mandates (see below).

We know that Chris took at least one infamous English class. He also took Tennis to fulfill his Wellness requirement.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He also took a course in HTML.<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref> To learn more, someone will need to dig through Chris's trash again.

One "mystery" is why it took Chris so long to finish. Even taking his suspension into account, he needed ten semesters to earn a degree which officially should have taken two. Chris has never indicated that he had academic trouble, consistently asserting on his contemporary dating site profiles that he was doing just fine, the only exception being his prejudiced [[jerk]] English professor. One factor might have been the switch in majors from Marketing to CADD; he would not have been able to count specific marketing classes towards his new degree. Another possibility is that he was going to school part-time, preferring to spend a greater portion of his days playing [[games|vidya]].

==Kicked out of English==

Chris's first great PVCC trauma occurred when he was kicked out of an [[Chris and English|English]] class on his [[Chris's birthday|birthday]].

Chris at one point claimed that his class was reading ''[[wikipedia:Wednesday's Child (novel)|Wednesday's Child]]'', a story about an [[autism|autistic]] girl who [[Death threats|brutally murders people]].<ref>[http://www.amazon.com/Wednesdays-Child-Inspector-Banks-Novels/dp/0380820498]</ref> Chris said that he told his [[JERKS|male]] professor that he, too, was autistic. This apparently resulted in Chris's ejection from that class on 24 [[February 2003]], Chris's twenty-first birthday, and many tears were shed. According to Chris, the reason for his ejection was the professor's misunderstanding and fear of autism. Chris later passed the course when he retook it with a [[gal pal|female professor]].

[[List of Chris's Lies|Of course]], Chris's account of the story bears little resemblance to reality. In conversations with his [[gal pal|gal-pal]]s years afterward, Chris admitted that the topic of [[homos|homosexuality]] had come up in a group discussion in class. Chris made a derogatory and inappropriate comment (in his words, he emitted "exclamations you'd likely hear from a [[Niggos|black person]] in [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]]"), and was promptly told to leave the classroom.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref> What exactly he said will forever remain mystery, but given the [[Virginia|circumstances]] it must have been fairly severe. It may have been that the professor was gay himself.

PVCC gave professors considerable leeway in disciplining their students. From the 2004-06 Student Handbook:<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20050122014451/http://pvcc.edu/College%20Catalog%202004-2006%20%20for%20web/piedmont_virginia_community_coll.htm]</ref>

{{quotebox|When unruly or otherwise unacceptable behavior occurs in a classroom or lab, the instructor may immediately have the student who is causing the problem leave the classroom. It is the student’s responsibility to contact the instructor as soon as possible, and at the latest before the next meeting of the class or lab to attempt to reconcile the problem. If not resolved, and/or in the most serious cases, such as when a student has previously been removed from the class or when the behavior is a serious violation of the rights of others (i.e., threats of violence or other acts of hostility), the faculty member may prefer to deny the student’s return to the course. In these cases, the faculty member must file a written charge (available in the Admissions and Records Office) that proposes the removal of the student from the course....Once a charge is filed, the case will be settled by following the Procedure for Making and Hearing Charges Against Students.}}

The Handbook defined disorderly conduct as including "loud noise that is disruptive to college functions," "obscene or abusive language or [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|gestures]]," or "threatening or hostile language." This pretty much covers the waterfront of Chris's typical behaviors.

Given that Chris never reads the fine print (or even the large print), he was doubtlessly unaware of these legalistic niceties. Chris has not specified whether he was actually permanently expelled from the class by the professor, or if he just chose not to return.

At any rate, according to Chris, after being kicked out he sat at a table by himself and cried. As well as reinforcing Chris's [[JERKS|hatred of men]], this event also (albeit for no obvious reason) inspired Chris to begin his [[Love Quest]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

==Kicked out of college==
When Fall semester began in the fourth year of Chris's education, he began his [[Love Quest]] in earnest - academia be damned. For two months, Chris taped his [[Attraction Sign]] to the wall in the PVCC lobby, usually standing or sitting next to it. On 7 October 2003, however, Chris fell prey to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Services, who allegedly ripped up his sign, yelled at him in "a very violent manner," and harshly criticized his methods. Given Chris's history of delusional thinking and revising past events when it comes to confrontations with authority figures, it is highly unlikely that this is what transpired. While Chris assumed she was simply a force of pure malice dedicated to keeping him a frustrated virgin, her official justification is not known, although the likeliest given reason was simply that Chris was [[Carlos Chantor|soliciting sex]] on college property, which unsurprisingly created an uncomfortable environment for the unfortunate females he was undoubtedly leering at (as well as the JERK males he was glowering at).

In any case, Chris made another sign and put it up, but it was simply torn down again. For the rest of the semester Chris stopped his solicitations, but in the new year he implemented his new plan; he inundated the campus with copies of his monthly, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash|Sonichu's News Dash!]]''. This publication was predictably chiefly concerned with Chris and his all-consuming need for a girlfriend, with the Sonichu franchise firmly in the periphery. It can be assumed Chris also began using the Attraction Sign again to supplement his pamphleteering.

At this stage, the College had numerous legal avenues they could take to force Chris to stop. The pamphleteering (as Chris was doing it) was blatantly illegal:<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20050122014451/http://pvcc.edu/College%20Catalog%202004-2006%20%20for%20web/piedmont_virginia_community_coll.htm]</ref>

{{quotebox|Before beginning distribution of petitions, handbills, signs, or pieces of literature, students or registered student organizations, individuals, or groups must submit to the student activities office a copy of such for distribution approval.}}

If this wasn't enough, the college also defined illegal activities as including "misuse of public or private property," "sexual harassment," "disruption of normal functioning of the college," "harassment of any other person on college property," and "violation of any other college policy or regulation." Chris defied every one of these literally hundreds of times.

Chris managed to get out two issues of the News Dash before direct intervention occurred. In late January 2004, he was summoned to a meeting with Walsh as well as Susan Hannifan from the Office of Advisement and Counseling, who specialized in Disability Support Services<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20060117133529/http://www.pvcc.edu/directories/SearchStaff.asp?CAT=EPE]</ref> who, considering her position, would have been extremely courteous and obliging to Chris (to the extent possible) and would also have had a good understanding of Chris's condition. Chris, however, despised Hannifan and was giving her "the silent treatment" at this time (something Susan probably would have been happy about). At the February 9 meeting, Chris was told in no uncertain terms that he could not distribute the News Dash, and presumably also ordered (again) not to use his Sign either. According to him, he incurred a haranguing from Walsh, who for her troubles found herself on the receiving end of a [[Chris and Reality|lecture from Sonichu]], punctuated by a loud [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].

Chris then significantly escalated the situation in two ways. Upon returning home from his meeting, he wrote in his [[diary]],

{{quote|I AM VERY [[anger|ANGRY]] AT THAT [[Censorship|XXXXX]]! In response, I plan to incite the masses, and hope they DEMAND the return the News Dash so my chances on getting a girlfriend can be restored. I have also declared WAR on them as well!}}

The following day, he posted on his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]]:

{{quotebox|
'''Sonichu's News Dash! has been taken away by Mary Lee Walsh!
'''

'''Mary Lee Walsh has taken the Sonichu's News Dash! and made it illegal on PVCC property.'''

'''But it is not too late; go to Mary's office and DEMAND that the News Dash should stay running on Piedmont Virginia Community College!'''

To annoy her, send her an email!}}

He helpfully included a link.
[[File:139-CWCsDarkGlare.jpg|thumb|right|Probably something like this.]]
Chris also sent Walsh an angry note which "communicated an 'intimidating glare' in a pictorial fashion."<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref> Walsh correctly interpreted this as harassment, and accordingly she set in motion disciplinary procedures.

On paper,<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20050122014451/http://pvcc.edu/College%20Catalog%202004-2006%20%20for%20web/piedmont_virginia_community_coll.htm]</ref> any member of the PVCC community who initiated charges against a student would have said charges investigated by the Dean of Student Services. In this case, however, it was the Dean herself who was filing the charges. How the college dealt with this paradox is unknown; perhaps one of Mary's colleagues investigated instead. What is clear, however, is that Chris had stupidly attacked the one person at the college who was most knowledgeable about how to expel students. It is also almost certain that Walsh herself would not have partaken in the disciplinary decision concerning Chris, as she was involved in the incidents and thus would have been obligated to abstain from judgement.

Again on paper, Chris would have been given five days to address the allegations against him. At this point, the college had the choice to simply give Chris a written warning. Instead, they wisely decided to treat the matter seriously enough to assemble the College Hearing Committee, which would discuss the possibility of suspension or expulsion. In ten days there would be a hearing, to which Chris could bring people to defend him.

In reality, there were "several hearings," and the decision to suspend Chris wasn't made until September.<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref> It is almost a certainty that Chris allowed others to fight this battle for him, in this case his parents. And knowing what we do about Barb and Bob, they likely fought tooth and nail to shield Chris from the slightest punishment. On March 2, Walsh met with Chris and his parents and, in his words, "tried to frame me, just to giver [sic] her an excuse to boot me out of PVCC." This angered Chris and his parents.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

On 16 September 2004, Chris was informed that he had been suspended for one year. In order to return, he would need to take anger management classes, get a psychological evaluation, and receive "social skills counseling."<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref><ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> Thus, we have the [[autism papers]]. He apparently completed these tasks and was allowed to return to campus, and he was attending classes again in Fall 2005.

==Graduation==
After spending five years on a degree that is expected to take only two, Chris graduated with an associate's degree in Applied Science and a [[CADD]] certificate. Chris has repeatedly and fallaciously claimed to have two degrees, seemingly not understanding that his certificate and his associate's degree are two separate things.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (26 October 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (24 October 2008)]]</ref>

As opposed to his [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|high school graduation]], Chris didn't seem to care about graduating from college, likely because of his perceived antagonisation during his studies there. On the big day, Chris wore not only his [[Sonichu medallion]], but his gown, tassel, and [[honor roll]] stole from [[Manchester High School|high school]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0710-CWCCollGrad1.jpg|Graduation
Image:0711-CWCCollGrad2.jpg|Such is his disdain for college, he's wearing the [[medallion]] and the same [[Chris and fashion|shirt of fail]] he draws himself in.
Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|And as usual, Chris couldn't care less and he disrobed himself like a small child.
Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|His Associate of Applied Science degree.
Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|His CADD certificate. Chris insists this is a degree, but the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]] begs to differ.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|"Student featured in ''[[Nintendo Power]]''."
</gallery>
</center>

==PVCC as viewed by Chris==
Christian Weston Chandler refers to Piedmont Virginia Community College as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' (abbreviated '''PVCCitizens'''; or, on one occasion, as '''Piedmont Virginity College'''<ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]</ref>) due to the grudge he holds against the college. Within the context of his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for the activities of the villains of [[CWCville]].

As you can imagine, when the [[troll]] message boards were created, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|it simply had to be christened with this name]].

==See also==
* [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
* [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Wikipedia:Piedmont Virginia Community College|Wikipedia article on PVCC]]
* [http://www.pvcc.edu/ PVCC website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Chris and reality

2016-07-24T22:57:59Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Descent into madness */

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]

{{quote|I don't have to Justify [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]; they can take of that themselves.|[[Chris]], being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]].}}

'''Reality''' is the universe from which Chris is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves his [[room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy worldview can be attributed to his [[autism]], as autistic people generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercials]] and [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]].

Another probable cause of his detachment from reality is the behavior of [[Borb|his parents]], who are (or were, in [[Bob]]'s case) themselves not securely anchored to reality. Their habit of feeding Chris conciliatory platitudes about how he was being mistreated out of jealousy and about special rules applying to him has resulted in Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|all-pervasive sense of entitlement]] and warped perception of anybody or anything that antagonizes him.

Chris is quick to deny indisputable notions, or outright facts, and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]], flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris's question to [[Alec Benson Leary]].}}
{{quote|NO!|Alec's response.}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris's response to Alec.<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}

[[CWCville]] is what Chris calls his imaginary, idyllic fantasy world. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville and all other products of his imagination actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World", where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' as a model. This strange idea may also have stemmed from the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "Imaginationland", which involved a realm where fictional characters and imaginary creations could mingle with one another. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this worldview is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others he sees as too slow in the mind to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something - if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, providing yet further evidence that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her Creator]] (it is unknown if the comic exists in the universe of CWCville). Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canonical if he's the one stating it (regardless of contradictions) and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|as Mayor]]). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite considering his own judgement infallible as applied to his own work, he forces [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to theirs.

When the [[Asperpedia Four]] used systematic trolling to make Chris kill off the character [[Simonla Rosechu#Simonla as the Lynchpin|Simonla]], Chris viewed it as a deliberate attack on his fantasy world. CWCville, which had always been Chris's way of retreat from the real world, had been infiltrated by outside forces and was no longer impenetrable, so this is likely why Chris put the comic on hiatus; to stop outside forces from causing any more damage.

==In the Real World==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris, being unaware that most cars weigh two or three tons.<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}

Chris has a tendency to hugely exaggerate estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being fifty pounds(22.7 kg)]]. This behavior is symptomatic of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of autism, which leaves the sufferer with poor comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, Chris does not really display any other symptoms of it, suggesting this behavior isn't mere ignorance, but rather Chris telling childish lies to try to impress people with his physical strength.

Chris automatically assumes his lies will be believed, even if they contradict existing information. This is copiously evidenced in his constant [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] during the [[Father Call]], wherein Chris fibs incessantly about his [[Chris and health|health]] (among other things), frequently denying things or changing his story whenever he gets caught out. His habit of lying and lying about his lies is likely inherited from his mother, whom [[Cole Smithey E-mails|his brother described]] as a pathological liar. When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> The fact that he [[Things Chris has ripped off|demonstrably could not have done this]] did not factor into his reasoning. Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this revised version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger's syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref> As with many other things which antagonize him, Chris simply assumes Aspergers to be significant of a conspiracy targeting himself.

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as highly delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on 28 April 2012, he made an empty threat to the [[Kiwi Farms]] about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lives in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Pokéball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the GameCube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''). In addition, Chris has no idea how everyday machines such as [[Son-Chu|cars]] work, evidenced in how [[September 2014|he claimed]] that a 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block was a great "fixer upper." Normally, any serious physical damage to a car's engine can only be repaired by a very skilled mechanic, or cannot be repaired at all and one must buy a new engine (both of which are not cheap, but [[Chris and money|that's an entirely different problem]]).

===Fictional Characters and Media===
As explained above, Chris believes that fictional characters (including his own) exist on some other plane of reality. During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he claimed "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary. He concluded the lecture with a [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], as of course he believes he has magic powers. These things explain why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris, usually before crashing into slumber, also pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own strange way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of [[homos]]exuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of [[Ruckersville, VA|rednecks]] who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[parody]]ing Republicans, even if poorly in more recent episodes, and that the show's creator [[Seth MacFarlane]] is famously a supporter of gay rights.

As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons." In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an instrument of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the curse-ye-ha-me-ha, a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune upon the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the Internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse ([[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]]) on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris also believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic du jour - either the [[medallion]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]]. How these items came to be imbued with magical properties has not been addressed.

Chris also appears to believe that he can, to an extent, [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to the deceased]]. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[GodJesus]] told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomena. He may have gotten the notion of hearing supernatural voices from psychics (in real life or more likely in the media), who claim to converse with the spirits of the dead. During his time masquerading as [[JenkinsJinkies]] on [[Trollin Train]], Chris hoped to dissuade trolls by claiming that his house was haunted, describing [[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_the_Equipment_and_the_Digging_.28Thu_26_Aug_2010_5:12_AM.29|an alleged encounter]] with the vengeful ghosts of Patti and [[Christopher's name change|his younger self]]. Chris apparently believed that trolls would heed this threat.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied they were evidenced by Mary Lee Walsh's reputation going "DOWN":
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Among the many issues faced by Chris in his perception of reality, his tendency towards conspiracy theorism is the one that has caused him the most trouble. Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his huge, cloying ego, and as such believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake, something to which neither he nor his parents take kindly.

As stated, Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things; most importantly, it illustrated that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]]. Considering how readily and fervently these beliefs were held by his parents, it is sadly little wonder that Chris thinks the same way.

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, he revealed that he shares his parents' insane beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place. Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling evidence of Chris's belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[white knights]]. Despite their attempts to offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] respectfully point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. However, as is the rule with Chris, these people were not telling him what he wanted to hear and were therefore ignored.

==Descent into madness==
As time has gone on, it has become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris's already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to slacken further and further - getting to the point that it has alienated even his closest supporters.

Particularly troubling are his October 2013 rants on [[Facebook]] about how [[Megan]]'s fictitious character Megagi La Skunk has talked to him and told him that she (Megan, but by extension Megagi) should never have been born. Chris claimed that Megan is at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has cursed her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be uncursed, closing by stating that he and his father's ghost will get revenge if she does not comply.

There are many things deeply concerning about this tirade, but the most troubling is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]], nor any reason to suspect Megan would behave this way. This paranoid, insane notion was contrived entirely by Chris - likely with some parental input - and can only be described as complete lunacy.

In the autumn of [[2014]], Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing to his perineum]] in an effort to make it resemble a [[china]]. Despite becoming infected in [[December 2014]], he simply had it pierced again. While an unfazed Chris was persuaded to have this piercing removed too, he remained deeply interested in becoming a woman by unorthodox means, much to the worry of onlookers. Eventually, he removed the piercing. How Chris's next attempt at womanhood will manifest itself is anybody's guess, but in the wake of the un-clit, one can only fear [[Cakefarts|the worst]].

Chris currently has an [[Un-clit 2.0|open bleeding wound on his groin]], which he, using his magical thinking skills yet again, believes to be a pair of female genitals growing thanks to all the hypnosis videos he's watched en masse in recent months. It has to be pointed out here that even though the wound poses a serious, even fatal risk to Chris's health, he's too far past the level of insanity already required to believe cartoon characters are real to ever realise this. He claims to have had his "labia area" examined for signs of infection. Since no doctor would consider his open wound healthy, it is likely he himself performed the examination, or (God forbid) had Barb take a look at it. His ignorance to reality is now threatening his life, something [[Trolls|many]] foresaw and attempted to warn him.

The [[Sonic Boom Protests]] once again revealed Chris's delusions about his power and influence in the world and showed he was willing to [[26 December 2014|physically assault somebody]] to defend the honor of a fictitious character whose arms were recoloured. As of late 2015, Chris seems to have simmered down and appears to have a more positive tone in his videos, but is slowly and surely returning to the traits that once made him an internet sensation.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Cole Smithey

2016-06-29T13:38:05Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Relationship with Chris */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Coles.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| The Smartest Film Critic in the World Coleslaw
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age {{Age|1963|7|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (alleged biological father) [[Barbara Chandler]] (mother) [[Jack Dale Smithey]] (father, as claimed by Barb) [[Jerry Harmon]] (stepfather) [[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| Katherine (2013-present)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 email #3]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 1]]</ref>}}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s first son, and lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole leads a relatively normal life. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's emails to Chris]] revealed a lot of information about the Chandler family.

==Life==

===Childhood===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook. Notice the physical similarity.]]

Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)]]</ref> As a child, Cole claims to have been physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his "stepfather" [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios."<ref name="email">[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref>

Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she wasn't.<ref name="email" /> Cole believes his his biological father to be [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who was introduced as a friend of the family and visited when Cole was a child.

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole recounts his coming to age. This includes a particular event where Barbara fires a loaded gun at a steel door to ward off a burglar, the resulting ricochet of which almost striking young Cole in the head. These events have obviously had a lasting impression on him.

===Move to California===
Cole left home for California, attended San Diego State University from 1981–84, and earned degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College and took similar classes.<ref>http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa</ref> While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called "The Rockin’ Dogs." The band lasted from 1981–85.<ref>[http://www.sandiegoreader.com/bands/rockin-dogs/ The Rockin' Dogs | San Diego Reader]</ref> By 1994, still in San Francisco, Cole was doing shows as "Cole Blooded," and had apparently shifted to the guitar.

===Present===
Cole currently lives in Manhattan and is a film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.<ref>http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/</ref> He was mentioned once in ''Time'' magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to ''Toy Story 3'', resulting in many Pixar fans crying out in disgust that a movie franchise that looked to be the only one with purely 100% ratings on RT was ruined by him and Armond White.<ref>http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/</ref> (Several years later, in an interview with Arthur Spatchcock, Chris stated that he disagreed with his brother's review even though he hadn't seen the film.)

Cole occasionally hosts [[eBay]] auctions for the winning bidder to spend a night with him drinking craft beer at his wife's bar and talking about film, proving that despite one half-brother being a pretentious hipster douchebag, and the other being an emotionally stunted autistic manchild, they both share the same [[Chris and his Ego|bloated ego]].<ref>http://www.ebay.com/itm/Drink-Craft-Beer-in-NYC-with-Film-Critic-Cole-Smithey-/291052352033?hash=item43c4127221</ref>

Billing himself as "The Smartest Film Critic in the World," (a title that esteemed film critic [[Wikipedia:Roger Ebert|Roger Ebert]] once mocked<ref>http://www.colesmithey.com/filmblog/2009/04/my-dialogue-with-roger.html</ref>) Cole regularly posts his reviews to YouTube, but his videos have hilariously low view counts, rarely more than a few hundred per video and sometimes not even more than a few ''dozen'', even on reviews of well-known films. Whatever the reason, this means that, ironically, the various videos Chris posted to YouTube over the years were literally many thousands of times more popular than those of his theoretically more successful brother. It probably doesn't help matters that Cole Smithey's videos have low production values and negative reviews of well-received films. On a sidenote, he also considers ''Freddy Got Fingered'' (a film often considered to be either so-bad-it's-good, or even one of the worst of all time) [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JUuAhFVlk4 to be "Classic Cinema".]

{{Squote|'Wild Strawberries' is a thematically abundant film that fluidly condenses a lifetime's worth of experience into succinct cinematic fragments under Ingmar Bergman's complex construction of abstract corollaries.|An example of Cole Smithey's obsession with big words<ref>http://www.colesmithey.com/capsules/2014/07/wild-strawberries.html</ref>|3=}}

By [[March 2007]], Cole was in a relationship with a woman named Katherine (no, not [[Catherine|her]]).<ref name="Email" /> This is most likely the same Katherine he married in [[March 2013]].<ref name="JohnKyleVid">[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aitxArbd0o John Kyle - Three Love Songs at Katherine and Cole's Wedding] (retrieved on 24 February 2014)</ref> Given that Cole mentioned an earlier wedding during his correspondance with Chris, it appears that Katherine is his second wife, unless the "wedding" in 2013 was actually a renewal of vows.<ref name="email" />

According to an article written by his friend, syndicated cartoonist [[Wikipedia:Ted_Rall|Ted Rall]], Cole once came close to death from [[Wikipedia:Necrotizing fasciitis|necrotizing fasciitis]] after an ER nurse made a misdiagnosis<ref>[http://www.japantimes.co.jp/opinion/2014/10/06/commentary/world-commentary/emergency-rooms-live-gunshot-wounds/#.VR7L5vnF-So]</ref>, and believes that 2016 presidential candidate Bernie Sanders' rise can be attributed to the "failure of propaganda."<ref>[http://www.japantimes.co.jp/opinion/2016/01/22/commentary/world-commentary/sanders-rise-fueled-by-the-failure-of-propaganda/#.Vq1dJrIrI8o]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|250px|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole was not on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. According to Cole, [[Bob]] worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. He has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref name="email" /> In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks to be informed when Bob dies so he can celebrate.<ref name="Email">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

Cole claims Barbara lied about the identity of Cole's biological father. Cole hired a private detective to find evidence contradicting her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]]. In a leaked e-mail sent to [[Jackie]] on 14 May 2011, Chris wrote that Cole "has had mental problems since he hit his head on a bus, and has taken it out heavily on our mother." Some argue the story could be a lie Barbara told Chris to explain Cole's bitterness towards her while masking the issue that actually caused it.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own. Chris has [[Message_for_John_Kyle|recently complained]] that Cole is ignoring Barb's attempts to get in touch with him. It would seem that Cole has left his mother to her own devices.

{{clear}}

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|300px|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
[[File:Cole and Others Miis.png|thumb|right|300px|Cole (far right) as a [[Sonichu Amiibo|Mii]] in one of Chris's [[Super Smash Bros. Videos]], ''Family Needs to appreciate Family'']]
Ironically, for much of his life Cole has actually gotten along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb, and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that he believes that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault. Chris visited Cole in California when he was about seven years old, according to Barb.<ref>[[Rental House Tour#Time to go]]</ref> This is the only time Chris has been on an airplane<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and one of the few times that he has left [[Virginia]].

For New Years' Day [[1998]] Chris gave Cole a [[Lego]] Band Stand and wished him a "Rocking New Year." However, in [[1999]] on a [[Spanish]] exercise, Chris described "Cole the Beedrill" as ''muy feo'' (very ugly), suggesting relations had strained, probably because of Barb (although he may also have referred to the aspect of the actual Pokémon species).<ref>[[Manchester High Leaks]]</ref> Nevertheless, Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and everything to do with Chris, even featuring a picture of Chris on the cover.

The last time they set eyes on each other was around 2005 at a family Christmas party.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 27]]</ref>

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts had died a month prior.<ref>[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]</ref> Chris did ask his mother about it, but she maintained her version of the story. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is (though in Chris's defense, getting involved in an awkward quarrel about parentage is a pretty odd price for a simple upvote on a video.) This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. To date, these remain the last known communications between the half-brothers.

In recent years Chris has made numerous efforts to get in touch with Cole, to no avail. In [[October 2013]] he told his friend [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah]], "I have no confirmed or direct contact with him in NY; he doesn't respond to email, twitter feed, Facebook, YouTube, etcetera, either. So, I am most unable to reach him at all."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> On 22 [[June 2013]], Chris attempted to contact Cole via video. He recorded a message directed to John Kyle,<ref name="Message">[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> Cole's brother-in-law, who sang at his wedding.<ref name="JohnKyleVid" /> Chris expressed anger at Cole for not inviting him and Barb to his wedding. In the same month, Chris tried to [[Twitter#29_June_2013|communicate with Cole]] on [[Twitter]], basically telling him to come back home so he could [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|dump his familial responsibilities on him]] and go on his [[Sweetheart Search]]. He also suggested that Cole had some mental/physical problems of his own ''(even talking down to him at one point)'' right before activating the "Playing for Sympathy" card, lamenting his time in jail.

In [[August 2015]], Chris [[August 2015 Facebook Posts#Please Take Care Of Barb So I Can Go Out And Have Sex With Hot Lesbians|tried yet again]] to reach out to Cole, this time through [[Facebook]], hoping that a flurry of hashtags would work their magic. In [[November 2015]] he returned to [[YouTube]] with a [[Family Needs to appreciate Family|video]] depiction of a battle in which Chris and his allies face off against Cole, [[David Alan Chandler|his other step-brother]], and his [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|step-sister]] in Super Smash Bros. "OUR Mother is Still Alive; I REALLY want you to make amends and get close, once again, to her before Her time runs out," he wrote in the description. The following day he arranged a [[Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!|similar fight]] among his [[Amiibo]] figurines and angrily accused Cole of being possessed by the spirit of [[Count Graduon]]. He posted an image of his Cole Amiibo on Facebook.

Chris has two explanations for this falling-out with his half-brother, both fed to him by Barb. First, Cole has been entirely misled about Barb's character by the lies of other family members. "She is the opposite of what hate they filled Cole's head with," Chris asserts.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> Second, Cole's "mental problems" caused by his childhood injury mean that he has "taken it out heavily on our mother."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref> "Lord Knows What Else goes on through his head," Chris has concluded, demonstrating that more than anything else, Cole is almost entirely unknown to Chris.

[[File:Piss and burn fb.PNG|thumb|right|300px]]
In [[June 2016]], Chris posted a Facebook rant about Cole alleging that he and his wife spend two thousand dollars a month on rent for an apartment in Carnegie Hall. Even though renting an apartment near Carnegie Hall can easily cost twice as much, this lack of research didn't stop Chris from depicting his half brother as having money to [[Chris and hypocrisy|"piss and burn"]] while simultaneously [[Lego|begging]] [[Transformers|him]] [[PlayStation 4|for]] [[Chris and money|money]].

==Cole in the comics==
While he has not directly appeared in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], in the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]] there is a "Professor Cole", assumed to be a version of Cole Smithey, listed as the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. The custom Amiibo depicting Cole as a Jerkop seems to forshadow his presence as a villain in the CWCville universe.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|Chris's gift to Cole in [[1998]]
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.
File:ColePostcardB.jpg|Postcard Cole sent to Barbara in 1994.
File:ColePostcardA.jpg
File:Cole Amiibo.jpg|Cole as a [[Jerkop]].
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/colesmithey/ Cole's YouTube channel]
*[https://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa LinkedIn page]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Chris and money

2016-06-20T16:58:18Z

EssentialAwakening: /* In recent years */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Cwcshutup.png|thumb|Chris's response to literally any commercial.]]
{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]], understating it.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

Chris has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle '''money''' or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, [[Chris and his Ego|his greed and selfishness]], his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. [[Monthly tugboat|Too lazy to work]], he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that [[Autism|Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is]] and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed!==
For the vast majority of Chris's "adult" life, his only source of income has been the "tugboat" that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month. In 2009, this payout was $809 a month, placing his annual income at $9,708. Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> How much he gets to keep these days isn't known.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive [sic] shoppiness [sic] (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and His Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

===Chris and impulse spending===
It's obvious that Chris has no grasp on the real value of money, since he actively wastes as much of his monthly tugboat as possible on things like [[The Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]], [[Lego|toys]], [[Mia Hamm|prostitutes]], and weekly lottery tickets<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref>. Also, in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', while legislating as mayor of [[CWCville]], he equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of [[Wikipedia:Community service|community service]] to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PlayStation Network]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PlayStation 3]] game that he's ever purchased, and even for ''games he doesn't own'', and he also further promoted his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Sony fanboyism]] by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely costs about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age--not in Chris's case, apparently.

===Chris's parental enabling===
Bob encouraged his son to remain unemployed, since he believed that Chris would earn more money from his monthly tugboat than he would have from getting a job. However, this assumption was and is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: that's $15,100 annually. Subtracting the money he pays his mom every month to live, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000, which knowing Chris, would be spent on yet more frivolities. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulled in annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement came from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or the more accurate notion that his son is a useless failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending (or for anything else) by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on frivolities and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|courses that could eventually help him onto the employment ladder]] or [[Clown shirt|clothing that isn't unbelievably tacky]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that [[Barb]] will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

===Chris's beliefs===
Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless junk, he is aiding the economy and paying for other people's tugboats.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> This is a [[Honor roll|damningly moronic statement]], since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with ''federal'' payroll tax. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Chris and his Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. His mother has served as a bad influence in both regards, as she would frequently shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire hazard]].

===Losing the tugboat?===
With the possibility that he might have ended up in jail over the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris's bad spending habits would have come back to haunt him. In jail, he wouldn't be able to collect his monthly tugboat, and if a full year passed without him collecting his checks, he would have to reapply for his welfare, something that would be a bit more difficult under the Obama administration, which doesn't look too kindly on social security due to the stress it causes to the overall economy,<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/us/politics/financial-outlook-dims-for-social-security.html]</ref> and has even started measures to cut them down altogether.<ref>[http://finance.yahoo.com/news/u-winds-down-longer-benefits-152809517.html]</ref> That, combined with the costs associated with court appearances as well as the fact that the last surviving breadwinner, Barbara, may have also landed in jail, would have resulted in Chris being placed in very dire circumstances, something which [[Kacey|several]] [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|have]] [[Mumble 4|tried]] [[PlayStation Vita|and failed]] to warn him about. Fortunately for him, he wasn't sentenced to jail, but the fact that he openly stated during his trial that his mother would pay his court fees is telling of both [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|his character]] and his financial situation.

However, it seems that even this has not given Chris pause, as he got himself into legal trouble [[26 December 2014|again]] and even got sent to jail for a brief time until he was quickly bailed out. Since he is both a repeat offender and financially drained after his last court hearing, it seems very unlikely that Chris will get off with a slap on the wrist this time, which means that he is once again in danger of losing his tugboat.

===In recent years===
It is worth noting that despite all of the circumstances (and expenses) described above, Chris is still wasting money on video games, as evidenced by his playing of ''Rock Band Blitz'' on the PSN, which was released in August 2012, pretty much cementing that even when faced with the consequences of bad spending habits, Chris will learn absolutely nothing. He has also spent gigantic amounts of money on Legos, despite the dire straits his family's finances are in since the destruction of 14BC.

In September [[2013]], Chris complained about he and his mom going through "emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By",<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref> making it clear that the family income had dipped since Bob's passing. However, these supposedly lean times were apparently not enough to motivate Chris to get a job, or even to stop buying games, as evidenced by him racking up over $1000 in game purchases over that time period.

On [[10 January 2014]], 14 Branchland Court burnt down. This would undoubtedly place the Chandlers in grim circumstances, due to the costs of rebuilding the home and replacing what was lost. Many, concerned about Chris due to his wasteful spending habits, hoped that this would be the moment in Chris's life where he finally woke up and realized the importance of saving when things like this happen. Unfortunately, not even ''this'' has broken Chris's thick skull--he apparently purchased ''The Lego Movie Video Game'' for his PS3 in February ''(however, it should be noted that due to a huge inflow of troll remorse, it's entirely possible that the game was a donation....or at least it was until it was [[March 2014 Facebook Posts#Rumour|confirmed that he did indeed buy it himself]].)'' At this point, only time will tell.

In the months that followed, Chris has resorted to begging online for money, placing extra emphasis on ''"My mother and I really need the money,"'' despite dropping more than '''$5,000''' on expensive [[Lego]] sets to feed his worsening addiction. One would think that Chris would have wised up to the fact that his wanton spending and lack of gainful employment are contributing to his woes, but one glance at his [[May 2014 Facebook Posts]] could easily tell you that he's seeing his situation as an avenue to get stuff from people, the most ridiculous of which being a "$300 Sea Cow" on his wish list, which would not benefit anybody but himself in the slightest. He has also attempted to sell [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|an original art piece of his]] on eBay; logical, though sorely [[Chris and art|misguided]].

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years<reF>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/]</ref>, a list which includes useless shovelware, hoards of 1st party Nintendo software, Virtual Console games and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like]]. 276 of these purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles (buying '''4''' DSs and DSis), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. This information comes on the heels of Chris begging people for money to fix his mother's cavities, as well as the financial worries that his trials will undoubtedly cause.

In [[May 2016]], Chris displayed a level of financial ignorance that shatters any hope of him ever becoming competent with money. Days after [[Please, Donate|begging for donations]] to assist his ailing household, he announced that he would be starting [[Sonichu Entertainment of America|his own business]], with the declaration that each employee's salary would be ''25% of the profit.'' Naturally, Chris completely fails to realize that under these conditions, he would have no money at all if he had four or more employees. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg; days later, he uploaded [[Proposition to Sega|a video]] attempting to go into business with Sega to create official Sonichu products. In the video, he demands a six-figure salary, along with [[Chris and health|full insurance benefits]] and [[Chris and reality|maternity leave]]. These incidents seem to indicate Chris's belief that money comes out of nowhere and is unlimited in value.

On top of this, Chris has asked for donations, or at least mentioned them, in almost every video he's made in 2016. At first, this was supposedly to fund his production of Sonichu merchandise, but lately he claims that he and Barb need help with paying the bills and buying groceries. While it's entirely possible that Chris is simply lying to get more money for [[Lego|useless]] [[Video games|crap]], this indicates that the financial hardships, which [[White knights|many]] [[Trolls|people]] have warned him about, have finally arrived. Only time will tell how his financial situation ultimately plays out, but given his attitude and inaction, the future definitely doesn't seem bright.

==Chris and credit cards==
That Chris has managed to acquire several credit cards is very surprising, but the foolishness with which he uses them wouldn't surprise anybody at all. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the [[PSN]] store, but his bill for PSN downloads increased by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By that point, Chris's debt had gotten so out of hand that Bob was forced to step in, making Chris reduce and manage on his spending, and forcing Chris to make regular payments to pay off his outstanding debt. Chris, thoughtless and uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit card debt accrues severe interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

Chris provided some more details about this situation in his [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mails to Jackie]] from [[July 2010]]. At some point, Bob paid off Chris's credit card debt and took payment in installments out of the tugboat in compensation. This foolish act of parental financial enabling allowed Chris to avoid the immediate consequences of his gross financial irresponsibility, and resulted in Chris learning nothing about how to manage his own finances, reinforcing Chris's attitude that he should be able to do anything that he wants and not suffer any negative consequences.

===Best Buy MasterCard===
Not surprisingly, it only took Chris a few short months to land himself in more financial trouble. In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob himself revealed that Chris had not only acquired a MasterCard charge account through [[Best Buy]], but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had predictably used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, delusional and in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of The GAMe PLACe, claimed that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from any of the near-destitute Chandlers is unknown.

Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point. Bob probably salvaged Chris's credit rating when he paid off all his prior card debt at once, but he angrily claimed Chris ruined it with the Best Buy debt (certainly true), and, in disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seemed to use this damning information to try to make Chris's latest brush with the [[Chris and the Law|law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* [[Troll]]s achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme, just by chance, happened to hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and then he blamed his debt on trolls, in another transparent attempt to avoid responsibility.

===Revelations to [[Jackie]]===
One of Chris's [[Jackie E-mails 7|e-mails to Jackie]] reveals that Chris acquired the Best Buy charge card without his parents' permission; he only told them about it after receiving 2 bounced check fees that showed up on his bank statement, which his father was actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to repay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled. He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his credit cards. From that point until Bob's death, he received only an allowance in the form of Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to accrue any more debt for a short time. At the time, the prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie E-mails 8|stressed him out]].

Curiously, even in his private communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that the overdraft fees that gave away the existence of the card to Bob were the work of trolls. Elsewhere in their conversations, however, he recounts other instances of "getting carried away" and accidentally overdrawing his bank account, suggesting that he was just using the trolls as a handy scapegoat for his own mistakes. Considering Bob shared many of Chris's outrageous delusions regarding troll activity, it is difficult to know whether or not he believed Chris's dubious excuse.

After Bob's passing, Chris once again resumed his thoughtless spending, completely disregarding and forsaking any hopes that his late father had had of Chris becoming financially responsible or independent. Chris's acquisition of the PlayStation Vita and over $600 worth of video games for that system were proof that Chris had regained control of his money after Bob's death and resumed tossing it away like it was nothing.

===Discovery sues Barb===
On 19 February, Discovery Bank sued Barb for not paying her debts, leaving them ''even further'' in financial turmoil.

==2014==
===June===
Unverified information on Chris's credit card debt was leaked on the CWCki Forums on 4 June 2014. It was revealed that Chris had at least five active credit cards, with at least $7600 in combined credit limit. Of the five known active cards, at least four were revealed to be maxed out, with at least $7400 in unpaid debt between the five cards. It was estimated that the minimum payment on Chris's known debt was at least $220 a month, and it was revealed that the only reason that Chris had been able to obtain the credit that he had was that, historically, he had almost always at least paid the minimum payment each month, although it was implied that he rarely if ever paid more than the minimum.<ref>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-and-his-finances-an-in-depth-review-of-his-debt.3809/ CWCki Forums: "Chris and his finances: An in-depth review of his debt"] ([https://archive.today/K6R2c archived version])</ref>

Given the Chandlers' financial situation as of June 2014, with most of Chris's tugboat going to help pay essential household expenses, it seems very unlikely that Chris has the financial resources to even pay off a small portion of his known debt, straining to make the monthly minimums each month. In response to his looming debt, instead of seeking financial consulting or trying to get a paying job, [[Chris and his Ego|Chris demanded massive monetary donations on Facebook]], and sought exorbitant prices for his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|crude artwork]] that he was selling on eBay.

===September===
Throughout the summer of 2014, Chris continued to spend thousands of dollars on [[Lego]] and other frivolities, all while whining and complaining on Facebook about his and his mother's poor finances. Chris financed this spending primarily with money from selling custom arts and crafts on his eBay account. Offering free shipping to customers, Chris would receive money from customers, and then pay for shipping out of his own pocket. However, Chris would immediately spend money as soon as it was deposited into his account, often leaving him unable to ship products to customers who had already paid him because of his own financial irresponsibility and negligence.

When several of Chris's eBay customers filed complaints against him because Chris failed to ship a order as promised and obligated, Chris responded by harassing and trolling the customers, posting their personal information in a public post on his Facebook account. In light of this, Chris's future money making prospects from eBay are dim, as most prospective future customers probably wouldn't want to risk being harassed or scammed by Chris.

All the while, even as Chris's credit card debt continued to spiral out of control, Chris continued to buy thousands of dollars of video games, Lego, and other frivolities. As if this were not bad enough, just days after putting his and Barb's cars up for sale, (at exorbitant prices) Chris went out and bought a 2010 Ford Focus, stating on Facebook that he had been approved for a loan, probably at a high interest rate.

Chris also stated that paying for insurance on his new car was "killing" him, implying that either the insurance payment was costly, that he was having trouble paying it, or both. It was commonly speculated on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris and his mother would be unable to afford to keep the car and that it would be repossessed in the near future.

Chris placed two cars for sale on Craigslist in September 2014. One was a dilapidated, rusty 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block that hadn't run in over a year. Despite having a market value (as scrap) of approximately $150, Chris demanded $5,000 for the automobile, insisting that the cracked engine block made the car a great [[Chris and reality|"fixer upper."]] Chris also placed his mother's BMW Z3 for sale, demanding $15,000 for a car that had a book value of approximately $3,000.

Throughout 2014, Chris continued his foolish behaviors of maxing out all his available credit, paying only the minimums on all his loans/debts, immediately spending money as soon as he got it, and making large, impulse purchases on unrealistic assumptions of future sales and income from various sources. (eBay, car sales, etc) Evidently, even after years of financial hardship, being burdened with debt, and paying a cumulative total of thousands of dollars in interest, Chris has apparently learned nothing about handling his personal finances, and refuses to try to live within the means provided to him by his monthly tugboat.

One dreads to imagine how his financial incompetence will affect him once Barb is dead - knowing Chris, and while it is quite tragic, he'll probably continue in his destructive spending patterns until he loses everything he has, and even then, he'll [[Ego|learn nothing]].

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris in real life. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[United States of America|American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' [[Wikipedia:North Korea|North Korea]].

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States]]. States, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states have historically issued their own money - when they were colonies and during difficult times, such as the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

On the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu, Chris wrote that [[Rosechu]] is usually the one who cooks for her family, but when Sonichu cooks for his wife and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|kids]] he "will go as HIGH in portions as a Banquet", even though he only cooks for five individuals.<ref name=>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Married Life and Children Sonichu]</ref> This suggest that Sonichu is just as frivolous with money as his father.

===Soup hotels===

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to fruition in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, beds, lighting and cable television.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

==In other works==

In [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris loses his mind|Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp, pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, according to Chris, he tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him according to him.

In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless frivolities.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|''24'']]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

== Conclusion ==

Given Chris's carefree abandon when it comes to his spending habits, many are actually concerned as to what will happen to Chris when Barb passes on and he has to fend for himself. If past (and present) experiences are any indication, it's that if Chris continues on his path of not saving his money and spending it on frivolous crap that he doesn't need, he'll wind up broke and in severe debt. A [[Mumble_4|past conversation]] with [[Clyde Cash]] revealed that he doesn't even know the basic expenses that go into running a household, and we all know how Chris's plan of [[PlayingHouse|marrying a sweetheart to dump all of the financial responsibilities on her]] will [[Sweetheart#Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?|turn out.]]

Long story short, if Chris doesn't start saving for his future now, then when Barb finally passes on, he won't have one to look forward to. And he'll have nobody to blame but himself. ''(Not that he won't try, of course.)''

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and money

2016-06-20T16:56:48Z

EssentialAwakening: /* In recent years */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Cwcshutup.png|thumb|Chris's response to literally any commercial.]]
{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]], understating it.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

Chris has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle '''money''' or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, [[Chris and his Ego|his greed and selfishness]], his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. [[Monthly tugboat|Too lazy to work]], he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that [[Autism|Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is]] and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed!==
For the vast majority of Chris's "adult" life, his only source of income has been the "tugboat" that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month. In 2009, this payout was $809 a month, placing his annual income at $9,708. Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> How much he gets to keep these days isn't known.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive [sic] shoppiness [sic] (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and His Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

===Chris and impulse spending===
It's obvious that Chris has no grasp on the real value of money, since he actively wastes as much of his monthly tugboat as possible on things like [[The Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]], [[Lego|toys]], [[Mia Hamm|prostitutes]], and weekly lottery tickets<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref>. Also, in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', while legislating as mayor of [[CWCville]], he equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of [[Wikipedia:Community service|community service]] to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PlayStation Network]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PlayStation 3]] game that he's ever purchased, and even for ''games he doesn't own'', and he also further promoted his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Sony fanboyism]] by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely costs about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age--not in Chris's case, apparently.

===Chris's parental enabling===
Bob encouraged his son to remain unemployed, since he believed that Chris would earn more money from his monthly tugboat than he would have from getting a job. However, this assumption was and is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: that's $15,100 annually. Subtracting the money he pays his mom every month to live, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000, which knowing Chris, would be spent on yet more frivolities. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulled in annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement came from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or the more accurate notion that his son is a useless failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending (or for anything else) by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on frivolities and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|courses that could eventually help him onto the employment ladder]] or [[Clown shirt|clothing that isn't unbelievably tacky]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that [[Barb]] will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

===Chris's beliefs===
Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless junk, he is aiding the economy and paying for other people's tugboats.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> This is a [[Honor roll|damningly moronic statement]], since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with ''federal'' payroll tax. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Chris and his Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. His mother has served as a bad influence in both regards, as she would frequently shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire hazard]].

===Losing the tugboat?===
With the possibility that he might have ended up in jail over the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris's bad spending habits would have come back to haunt him. In jail, he wouldn't be able to collect his monthly tugboat, and if a full year passed without him collecting his checks, he would have to reapply for his welfare, something that would be a bit more difficult under the Obama administration, which doesn't look too kindly on social security due to the stress it causes to the overall economy,<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/us/politics/financial-outlook-dims-for-social-security.html]</ref> and has even started measures to cut them down altogether.<ref>[http://finance.yahoo.com/news/u-winds-down-longer-benefits-152809517.html]</ref> That, combined with the costs associated with court appearances as well as the fact that the last surviving breadwinner, Barbara, may have also landed in jail, would have resulted in Chris being placed in very dire circumstances, something which [[Kacey|several]] [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|have]] [[Mumble 4|tried]] [[PlayStation Vita|and failed]] to warn him about. Fortunately for him, he wasn't sentenced to jail, but the fact that he openly stated during his trial that his mother would pay his court fees is telling of both [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|his character]] and his financial situation.

However, it seems that even this has not given Chris pause, as he got himself into legal trouble [[26 December 2014|again]] and even got sent to jail for a brief time until he was quickly bailed out. Since he is both a repeat offender and financially drained after his last court hearing, it seems very unlikely that Chris will get off with a slap on the wrist this time, which means that he is once again in danger of losing his tugboat.

===In recent years===
It is worth noting that despite all of the circumstances (and expenses) described above, Chris is still wasting money on video games, as evidenced by his playing of ''Rock Band Blitz'' on the PSN, which was released in August 2012, pretty much cementing that even when faced with the consequences of bad spending habits, Chris will learn absolutely nothing. He has also spent gigantic amounts of money on Legos, despite the dire straits his family's finances are in since the destruction of 14BC.

In September [[2013]], Chris complained about he and his mom going through "emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By",<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref> making it clear that the family income had dipped since Bob's passing. However, these supposedly lean times were apparently not enough to motivate Chris to get a job, or even to stop buying games, as evidenced by him racking up over $1000 in game purchases over that time period.

On [[10 January 2014]], 14 Branchland Court burnt down. This would undoubtedly place the Chandlers in grim circumstances, due to the costs of rebuilding the home and replacing what was lost. Many, concerned about Chris due to his wasteful spending habits, hoped that this would be the moment in Chris's life where he finally woke up and realized the importance of saving when things like this happen. Unfortunately, not even ''this'' has broken Chris's thick skull--he apparently purchased ''The Lego Movie Video Game'' for his PS3 in February ''(however, it should be noted that due to a huge inflow of troll remorse, it's entirely possible that the game was a donation....or at least it was until it was [[March 2014 Facebook Posts#Rumour|confirmed that he did indeed buy it himself]].)'' At this point, only time will tell.

In the months that followed, Chris has resorted to begging online for money, placing extra emphasis on ''"My mother and I really need the money,"'' despite dropping more than '''$5,000''' on expensive [[Lego]] sets to feed his worsening addiction. One would think that Chris would have wised up to the fact that his wanton spending and lack of gainful employment are contributing to his woes, but one glance at his [[May 2014 Facebook Posts]] could easily tell you that he's seeing his situation as an avenue to get stuff from people, the most ridiculous of which being a "$300 Sea Cow" on his wish list, which would not benefit anybody but himself in the slightest. He has also attempted to sell [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|an original art piece of his]] on eBay; logical, though sorely [[Chris and art|misguided]].

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years<reF>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/]</ref>, a list which includes useless shovelware, hoards of 1st party Nintendo software, Virtual Console games and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like]]. 276 of these purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles (buying '''4''' DSs and DSis), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. This information comes on the heels of Chris begging people for money to fix his mother's cavities, as well as the financial worries that his trials will undoubtedly cause.

In [[May 2016]], Chris displayed a level of financial ignorance that shatters any hope of him ever becoming competent with money. Days after [[Please, Donate|begging for donations]] to assist his ailing household, he announced that he would be starting [[Sonichu Entertainment of America|his own business]], with the declaration that each employee's salary would be ''25% of the profit.'' Naturally, Chris completely fails to realize that under these conditions, he would have no money at all if he had four or more employees. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg; days later, he uploaded [[Proposition to Sega|a video]] attempting to go into business with Sega to create official Sonichu products. In the video, he demands a six-figure salary, along with [[Chris and health|full insurance benefits]] and [[Chris and reality|maternity leave]]. These incidents seem to indicate that Chris believes that money comes out of nowhere and is unlimited in value.

On top of this, Chris has asked for donations, or at least mentioned them, in almost every video he's made in 2016. At first, this was supposedly to fund his production of Sonichu merchandise, but lately he claims that he and Barb need help with paying the bills and buying groceries. While it's entirely possible that Chris is simply lying to get more money for [[Lego|useless]] [[Video games|crap]], this indicates that the financial hardships, which [[White knights|many]] [[Trolls|people]] have warned him about, have finally arrived. Only time will tell how his financial situation ultimately plays out, but given his attitude and inaction, the future definitely doesn't seem bright.

==Chris and credit cards==
That Chris has managed to acquire several credit cards is very surprising, but the foolishness with which he uses them wouldn't surprise anybody at all. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the [[PSN]] store, but his bill for PSN downloads increased by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By that point, Chris's debt had gotten so out of hand that Bob was forced to step in, making Chris reduce and manage on his spending, and forcing Chris to make regular payments to pay off his outstanding debt. Chris, thoughtless and uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit card debt accrues severe interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

Chris provided some more details about this situation in his [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mails to Jackie]] from [[July 2010]]. At some point, Bob paid off Chris's credit card debt and took payment in installments out of the tugboat in compensation. This foolish act of parental financial enabling allowed Chris to avoid the immediate consequences of his gross financial irresponsibility, and resulted in Chris learning nothing about how to manage his own finances, reinforcing Chris's attitude that he should be able to do anything that he wants and not suffer any negative consequences.

===Best Buy MasterCard===
Not surprisingly, it only took Chris a few short months to land himself in more financial trouble. In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob himself revealed that Chris had not only acquired a MasterCard charge account through [[Best Buy]], but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had predictably used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, delusional and in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of The GAMe PLACe, claimed that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from any of the near-destitute Chandlers is unknown.

Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point. Bob probably salvaged Chris's credit rating when he paid off all his prior card debt at once, but he angrily claimed Chris ruined it with the Best Buy debt (certainly true), and, in disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seemed to use this damning information to try to make Chris's latest brush with the [[Chris and the Law|law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* [[Troll]]s achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme, just by chance, happened to hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and then he blamed his debt on trolls, in another transparent attempt to avoid responsibility.

===Revelations to [[Jackie]]===
One of Chris's [[Jackie E-mails 7|e-mails to Jackie]] reveals that Chris acquired the Best Buy charge card without his parents' permission; he only told them about it after receiving 2 bounced check fees that showed up on his bank statement, which his father was actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to repay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled. He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his credit cards. From that point until Bob's death, he received only an allowance in the form of Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to accrue any more debt for a short time. At the time, the prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie E-mails 8|stressed him out]].

Curiously, even in his private communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that the overdraft fees that gave away the existence of the card to Bob were the work of trolls. Elsewhere in their conversations, however, he recounts other instances of "getting carried away" and accidentally overdrawing his bank account, suggesting that he was just using the trolls as a handy scapegoat for his own mistakes. Considering Bob shared many of Chris's outrageous delusions regarding troll activity, it is difficult to know whether or not he believed Chris's dubious excuse.

After Bob's passing, Chris once again resumed his thoughtless spending, completely disregarding and forsaking any hopes that his late father had had of Chris becoming financially responsible or independent. Chris's acquisition of the PlayStation Vita and over $600 worth of video games for that system were proof that Chris had regained control of his money after Bob's death and resumed tossing it away like it was nothing.

===Discovery sues Barb===
On 19 February, Discovery Bank sued Barb for not paying her debts, leaving them ''even further'' in financial turmoil.

==2014==
===June===
Unverified information on Chris's credit card debt was leaked on the CWCki Forums on 4 June 2014. It was revealed that Chris had at least five active credit cards, with at least $7600 in combined credit limit. Of the five known active cards, at least four were revealed to be maxed out, with at least $7400 in unpaid debt between the five cards. It was estimated that the minimum payment on Chris's known debt was at least $220 a month, and it was revealed that the only reason that Chris had been able to obtain the credit that he had was that, historically, he had almost always at least paid the minimum payment each month, although it was implied that he rarely if ever paid more than the minimum.<ref>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-and-his-finances-an-in-depth-review-of-his-debt.3809/ CWCki Forums: "Chris and his finances: An in-depth review of his debt"] ([https://archive.today/K6R2c archived version])</ref>

Given the Chandlers' financial situation as of June 2014, with most of Chris's tugboat going to help pay essential household expenses, it seems very unlikely that Chris has the financial resources to even pay off a small portion of his known debt, straining to make the monthly minimums each month. In response to his looming debt, instead of seeking financial consulting or trying to get a paying job, [[Chris and his Ego|Chris demanded massive monetary donations on Facebook]], and sought exorbitant prices for his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|crude artwork]] that he was selling on eBay.

===September===
Throughout the summer of 2014, Chris continued to spend thousands of dollars on [[Lego]] and other frivolities, all while whining and complaining on Facebook about his and his mother's poor finances. Chris financed this spending primarily with money from selling custom arts and crafts on his eBay account. Offering free shipping to customers, Chris would receive money from customers, and then pay for shipping out of his own pocket. However, Chris would immediately spend money as soon as it was deposited into his account, often leaving him unable to ship products to customers who had already paid him because of his own financial irresponsibility and negligence.

When several of Chris's eBay customers filed complaints against him because Chris failed to ship a order as promised and obligated, Chris responded by harassing and trolling the customers, posting their personal information in a public post on his Facebook account. In light of this, Chris's future money making prospects from eBay are dim, as most prospective future customers probably wouldn't want to risk being harassed or scammed by Chris.

All the while, even as Chris's credit card debt continued to spiral out of control, Chris continued to buy thousands of dollars of video games, Lego, and other frivolities. As if this were not bad enough, just days after putting his and Barb's cars up for sale, (at exorbitant prices) Chris went out and bought a 2010 Ford Focus, stating on Facebook that he had been approved for a loan, probably at a high interest rate.

Chris also stated that paying for insurance on his new car was "killing" him, implying that either the insurance payment was costly, that he was having trouble paying it, or both. It was commonly speculated on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris and his mother would be unable to afford to keep the car and that it would be repossessed in the near future.

Chris placed two cars for sale on Craigslist in September 2014. One was a dilapidated, rusty 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block that hadn't run in over a year. Despite having a market value (as scrap) of approximately $150, Chris demanded $5,000 for the automobile, insisting that the cracked engine block made the car a great [[Chris and reality|"fixer upper."]] Chris also placed his mother's BMW Z3 for sale, demanding $15,000 for a car that had a book value of approximately $3,000.

Throughout 2014, Chris continued his foolish behaviors of maxing out all his available credit, paying only the minimums on all his loans/debts, immediately spending money as soon as he got it, and making large, impulse purchases on unrealistic assumptions of future sales and income from various sources. (eBay, car sales, etc) Evidently, even after years of financial hardship, being burdened with debt, and paying a cumulative total of thousands of dollars in interest, Chris has apparently learned nothing about handling his personal finances, and refuses to try to live within the means provided to him by his monthly tugboat.

One dreads to imagine how his financial incompetence will affect him once Barb is dead - knowing Chris, and while it is quite tragic, he'll probably continue in his destructive spending patterns until he loses everything he has, and even then, he'll [[Ego|learn nothing]].

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris in real life. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[United States of America|American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' [[Wikipedia:North Korea|North Korea]].

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States]]. States, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states have historically issued their own money - when they were colonies and during difficult times, such as the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

On the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu, Chris wrote that [[Rosechu]] is usually the one who cooks for her family, but when Sonichu cooks for his wife and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|kids]] he "will go as HIGH in portions as a Banquet", even though he only cooks for five individuals.<ref name=>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Married Life and Children Sonichu]</ref> This suggest that Sonichu is just as frivolous with money as his father.

===Soup hotels===

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to fruition in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, beds, lighting and cable television.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

==In other works==

In [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris loses his mind|Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp, pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, according to Chris, he tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him according to him.

In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless frivolities.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|''24'']]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

== Conclusion ==

Given Chris's carefree abandon when it comes to his spending habits, many are actually concerned as to what will happen to Chris when Barb passes on and he has to fend for himself. If past (and present) experiences are any indication, it's that if Chris continues on his path of not saving his money and spending it on frivolous crap that he doesn't need, he'll wind up broke and in severe debt. A [[Mumble_4|past conversation]] with [[Clyde Cash]] revealed that he doesn't even know the basic expenses that go into running a household, and we all know how Chris's plan of [[PlayingHouse|marrying a sweetheart to dump all of the financial responsibilities on her]] will [[Sweetheart#Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?|turn out.]]

Long story short, if Chris doesn't start saving for his future now, then when Barb finally passes on, he won't have one to look forward to. And he'll have nobody to blame but himself. ''(Not that he won't try, of course.)''

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and death

2016-06-17T14:07:05Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Barbara Chandler (1941-) */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace...?]]
{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|[[Chris]] on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a [[Bob Chandler|human]] or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy (a common symptom of [[autism]]), and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==

===Various ancestors===
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

===Passengers of ''[[wikipedia:RMS Titanic|RMS Titanic]]'' (d. 1912)===
In 1912, famous passenger liner ''Titanic'' hit an iceberg on its maiden voyage from Southampton, England to New York, and resulted in the deaths of around 1,600 people. In [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]], Chris insensitively attempts to threaten [[Lars]] by destroying a [[Lego]] version of the Titanic.

===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===
Chris has a very juvenile understanding of the [[wikipedia:September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001 terror attacks]] and their effect on world history. In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde Cash]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]], which were primary targets in the 9/11 attacks. He then pretends that the mouse cursor is crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. After heavy criticism for turning a tragedy which killed 3,000 people into a childish joke, Chris [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|apologized]] and insisted his patriotism. He also equated the death of [[Kacey]]'s grandmother, who is said to have died in the attacks, to his dead dog. For literally no reason at all, the date of the attack is included in a time-travel sequence in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].

===Patti Chandler (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's pet dog, who died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]], immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Unsurprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates [[Ryan Cash]]'s death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of [[Matthew Devoria]]'s mother in the 9/11 attacks.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the 1-year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.

It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. Ryan's death and Chris's reaction cemented this.

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.

===Ryan Cash (1996-2008)===
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of the ''Sonichu'' comics. After they were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.

===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===
Despite her being hundreds of kilometers away from the [[Brushfire Video|brushfires]], Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.

===Clyde Cash (1976-2009)===
In early [[2009]], Chris seemed to be aware that Clyde was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009|him]], just in case.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of CWCville. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.

In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] as a memorial. Yes, a poorly-sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop-punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.

===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla Rosechu]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

Simonla's death apparently continued to haunt Chris long afterwards. This led to him [[Simonla Rosechu#Resurrection|reviving Simonla]] around [[May 2014]], more than four years after her demise. It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as [[Chris and reality|real]] to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===
In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.

===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on television for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.

===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927-2011)===
After a long battle with heart failure, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|Facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref>

In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.

In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].

===Victims of the November 2015 Paris terror attacks===
In wake of the shootings and bombings in Paris on the 13th of November 2015, Chris [[Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris|responded on Facebook]] and expressed remorse in his own simple way, but equated the real-life atrocity which killed over 120 people with the actions of a "cartoon villain", suggesting he still has a poor grasp of the difference between reality and fantasy. Included was the image of Sonichu and Rosechu in front of the American flag in [[Sonichu 9]].

===Barbara Chandler (1941-)===
Barbara, much like Bob before his death, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara is [[obese]], and this contributes to her poor health, examples of which include oversleeping and bed sores. In [[August 2013]], Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which reveals that she suffers from far more serious health problems than initially thought. It may not be long before Barb keels over as well, which would ultimately leave Chris with no coddling matriarch to provide support for or keep him company, and in the grander scheme of things, without parents.

Even today, where everyone's favorite manchild will go from there remains a mystery, especially since it was revealed in an [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|October 2013 Facebook post]] that Chris considers Barbara to be one of the few people who gives meaning and purpose to his life.

In November 2015, Chris released [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]], where he addressed [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]], and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "Her time runs out".

In June 2016, Chris released [[Donations Requested, Please.|two]] [[Donations Required, Serious Please help|videos]] in which he asks for donations for Barb's asthma medication; here, Barb appears somewhat unresponsive and barely conscious, and Chris says she likely won't make it "through the rest of this month." While Chris could just be exaggerating just to get more free money, one cannot deny that Barb's physical appearance is the worst it's ever been, so his prognosis just might be accurate.

===Chris himself (1982-)===
Given Chris's notoriously [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Love Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.

However, there is a likelihood that like Bob, who lived into his mid-eighties despite suffering from (and eventually passing away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and alcoholism, he may be genetically disposed to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it is the one thing that would put an end to the [[Love Quest]] once and for all.

{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}

In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving recurring visions of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a sweetheart. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his obsessive standards and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.

In a Facebook post on 30 [[October 2013]], Chris stated that he had become so [[stress|stressed]] out (specifically, over [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|the revelation]] that his [[Manchester High School|high school]] [[gal pal|gal-pals]] did not actually like him much at all), that he had contemplated killing himself multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he did not go through with it are painfully [[Clover and Snoopy|obvious]]. This shows just how much Chris's [[Chris and psychology|mentality]] has drained, and how badly he needs the professional help he so stubbornly refuses to get. Of course, this could well be Chris exaggerating and trying to gain pity as he has done in the past, and as his mother allegedly also has (or at least, used to have) a habit of doing. In all seriousness, however, suicide is no laughing matter, and this should be looked at with caution.

In late [[2014]], Chris actually came quite close to being hospitalized, as a serious infection had developed around a [[Un-clit|piercing on the bottom of his]] [[duck]] that he had received earlier in the year. Thankfully, though, Chris came to his senses and permanently removed the piercing, and had the infection treated.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Dead]]

Barbara Chandler

2016-06-15T17:33:08Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Physical */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She threatens to kill me in her episode [sic] of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age {{Age|1941|10|1}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interpreted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from Randolph-Henry High School in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. While there, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the Future Homemakers of America, a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook The Log, and a member of the Spanish Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to her figure.

===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting Cole tries to use big words to impress people - [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. <ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

On September 1992, Chris and Bob moved from Ruckserville to Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them, but rather stayed in in their old home. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement, and that she still visited Bob and Chris on every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (in early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>[[Cutco]]</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris since then. <ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara has occasionally spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

More recently, Chris has been talking less and less about his surviving parent, so information about how she's doing is scarce. However, what little information we do have suggests that she isn't doing so well. In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. On the occasion that she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass (probably due to her sedentary lifestyle). In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not appear to be very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]], and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "Her time runs out", even though the latter two aren't Barb's children.

In June 2016, Barb appeared in [[Donations Requested, Please.|two]] [[Donations Required, Serious Please help‎|videos]] as Chris asks for donations to buy asthma medication for her; here, Barb appears with wrinkled skin and scant hair, and apparently cannot speak, further indicating her alarming physical decline.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might commit suicide, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/> To this day, it is still debated whether she was actually suicidal, or idly threatening suicide for her own gain.

Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be a narcissist, on account of her seemingly baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances when any sane person could see that only they were in the wrong. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating but complex topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26" />

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also noted by Christorians for her hoarding. Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the state it has left [[14 Branchland Court|their house]] in, although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms literally inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[January 2014|January 10 2014]], when in the wee hours of the morning, Chris [[Destruction Of Chris's House|started a house fire]] while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Equally unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the fire-fighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

Five years later, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying debts. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]] [[2016]] when sharp eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. As she must have been outright ignoring her debt for some time for the bank to take her to court over it, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay almost $5000.

==Appearances==
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]
[[File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Barb in a drawing released in [[November 2015]].]]
===In ''Sonichu''===
In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in five videos to date as of [[February 2015]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
Image:Babs1960.PNG|Barb's senior photo from high school.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage. Buy yours today on [[Etsy]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Barbara Chandler

2016-06-15T02:09:00Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Health problems */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She threatens to kill me in her episode [sic] of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age {{Age|1941|10|1}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interpreted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from Randolph-Henry High School in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. While there, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the Future Homemakers of America, a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook The Log, and a member of the Spanish Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to her figure.

===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting Cole tries to use big words to impress people - [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. <ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

On September 1992, Chris and Bob moved from Ruckserville to Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them, but rather stayed in in their old home. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement, and that she still visited Bob and Chris on every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (in early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>[[Cutco]]</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris since then. <ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara has occasionally spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

More recently, Chris has been talking less and less about his surviving parent, so information about how she's doing is scarce. However, what little information we do have suggests that she isn't doing so well. In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. On the occasion that she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass (probably due to her sedentary lifestyle). In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not appear to be very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]], and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "Her time runs out", even though the latter two aren't Barb's children.

In a [[June 2016]] [[Donations Requested, Please.|video]], Barb makes her first Internet appearance in quite some time as Chris asks for donations to buy asthma medication for her; here, Barb appears with wrinkled skin and scant hair, and apparently cannot speak, further indicating her alarming physical decline.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might commit suicide, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/> To this day, it is still debated whether she was actually suicidal, or idly threatening suicide for her own gain.

Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be a narcissist, on account of her seemingly baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances when any sane person could see that only they were in the wrong. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating but complex topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26" />

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also noted by Christorians for her hoarding. Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the state it has left [[14 Branchland Court|their house]] in, although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms literally inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[January 2014|January 10 2014]], when in the wee hours of the morning, Chris [[Destruction Of Chris's House|started a house fire]] while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Equally unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the fire-fighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

Five years later, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying debts. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]] [[2016]] when sharp eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. As she must have been outright ignoring her debt for some time for the bank to take her to court over it, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay almost $5000.

==Appearances==
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]
[[File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Barb in a drawing released in [[November 2015]].]]
===In ''Sonichu''===
In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in five videos to date as of [[February 2015]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
Image:Babs1960.PNG|Barb's senior photo from high school.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage. Buy yours today on [[Etsy]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Chris and money

2016-05-15T15:26:11Z

EssentialAwakening: /* In recent years */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Cwcshutup.png|thumb|Chris's response to literally any commercial.]]
{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]], understating it.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

Chris has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle '''money''' or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, [[Chris and his Ego|his greed and selfishness]], his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. [[Monthly tugboat|Too lazy to work]], he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that [[Autism|Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is]] and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed!==
For the vast majority of Chris's "adult" life, his only source of income has been the "tugboat" that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month. In 2009, this payout was $809 a month, placing his annual income at $9,708. Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> How much he gets to keep these days isn't known.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive [sic] shoppiness [sic] (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and His Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

===Chris and impulse spending===
It's obvious that Chris has no grasp on the real value of money, since he actively wastes as much of his monthly tugboat as possible on things like [[The Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]], [[Lego|toys]], [[Mia Hamm|prostitutes]], and weekly lottery tickets<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref>. Also, in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', while legislating as mayor of [[CWCville]], he equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of [[Wikipedia:Community service|community service]] to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PlayStation Network]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PlayStation 3]] game that he's ever purchased, and even for ''games he doesn't own'', and he also further promoted his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Sony fanboyism]] by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely costs about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age--not in Chris's case, apparently.

===Chris's parental enabling===
Bob encouraged his son to remain unemployed, since he believed that Chris would earn more money from his monthly tugboat than he would have from getting a job. However, this assumption was and is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: that's $15,100 annually. Subtracting the money he pays his mom every month to live, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000, which knowing Chris, would be spent on yet more frivolities. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulled in annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement came from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or the more accurate notion that his son is a useless failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending (or for anything else) by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on frivolities and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|courses that could eventually help him onto the employment ladder]] or [[Clown shirt|clothing that isn't unbelievably tacky]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that [[Barb]] will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

===Chris's beliefs===
Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless junk, he is aiding the economy and paying for other people's tugboats.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> This is a [[Honor roll|damningly moronic statement]], since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with ''federal'' payroll tax. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Chris and his Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. His mother has served as a bad influence in both regards, as she would frequently shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire hazard]].

===Losing the tugboat?===
With the possibility that he might have ended up in jail over the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris's bad spending habits would have come back to haunt him. In jail, he wouldn't be able to collect his monthly tugboat, and if a full year passed without him collecting his checks, he would have to reapply for his welfare, something that would be a bit more difficult under the Obama administration, which doesn't look too kindly on social security due to the stress it causes to the overall economy,<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/us/politics/financial-outlook-dims-for-social-security.html]</ref> and has even started measures to cut them down altogether.<ref>[http://finance.yahoo.com/news/u-winds-down-longer-benefits-152809517.html]</ref> That, combined with the costs associated with court appearances as well as the fact that the last surviving breadwinner, Barbara, may have also landed in jail, would have resulted in Chris being placed in very dire circumstances, something which [[Kacey|several]] [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|have]] [[Mumble 4|tried]] [[PlayStation Vita|and failed]] to warn him about. Fortunately for him, he wasn't sentenced to jail, but the fact that he openly stated during his trial that his mother would pay his court fees is telling of both [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|his character]] and his financial situation.

However, it seems that even this has not given Chris pause, as he got himself into legal trouble [[26 December 2014|again]] and even got sent to jail for a brief time until he was quickly bailed out. Since he is both a repeat offender and financially drained after his last court hearing, it seems very unlikely that Chris will get off with a slap on the wrist this time, which means that he is once again in danger of losing his tugboat.

===In recent years===
It is worth noting that despite all of the circumstances (and expenses) described above, Chris is still wasting money on video games, as evidenced by his playing of ''Rock Band Blitz'' on the PSN, which was released in August 2012, pretty much cementing that even when faced with the consequences of bad spending habits, Chris will learn absolutely nothing. He has also spent gigantic amounts of money on Legos, despite the dire straits his family's finances are in since the destruction of 14BC.

In September [[2013]], Chris complained about he and his mom going through "emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By",<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref> making it clear that the family income had dipped since Bob's passing. However, these supposedly lean times were apparently not enough to motivate Chris to get a job, or even to stop buying games, as evidenced by him racking up over $1000 in game purchases over that time period.

On [[10 January 2014]], 14 Branchland Court burnt down. This would undoubtedly place the Chandlers in grim circumstances, due to the costs of rebuilding the home and replacing what was lost. Many, concerned about Chris due to his wasteful spending habits, hoped that this would be the moment in Chris's life where he finally woke up and realized the importance of saving when things like this happen. Unfortunately, not even ''this'' has broken Chris's thick skull--he apparently purchased ''The Lego Movie Video Game'' for his PS3 in February ''(however, it should be noted that due to a huge inflow of troll remorse, it's entirely possible that the game was a donation....or at least it was until it was [[March 2014 Facebook Posts#Rumour|confirmed that he did indeed buy it himself]].)'' At this point, only time will tell.

In the months that followed, Chris has resorted to begging online for money, placing extra emphasis on ''"My mother and I really need the money,"'' despite dropping more than '''$5,000''' on expensive [[Lego]] sets to feed his worsening addiction. One would think that Chris would have wised up to the fact that his wanton spending and lack of gainful employment are contributing to his woes, but one glance at his [[May 2014 Facebook Posts]] could easily tell you that he's seeing his situation as an avenue to get stuff from people, the most ridiculous of which being a "$300 Sea Cow" on his wish list, which would not benefit anybody but himself in the slightest. He has also attempted to sell [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|an original art piece of his]] on eBay; logical, though sorely [[Chris and art|misguided]].

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years<reF>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/]</ref>, a list which includes useless shovelware, hoards of 1st party Nintendo software, Virtual Console games and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like]]. 276 of these purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles (buying '''4''' DSs and DSis), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. This information comes on the heels of Chris begging people for money to fix his mother's cavities, as well as the financial worries that his trials will undoubtedly cause.

In [[May 2016]], Chris displayed a level of financial ignorance that shatters any hope of him ever becoming fiscally competent. Days after [[Please, Donate|begging for donations]] to assist his ailing household, he announced that he would be starting [[Sonichu Entertainment of America|his own business]], with the declaration that each employee's salary would be ''25% of the profit.'' Naturally, Chris completely fails to realize that under these conditions, he would have no money at all if he had four or more employees. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg; days later, he uploaded [[Proposition to Sega|a video]] attempting to go into business with Sega to create official Sonichu products. In the video, he demands a six-figure salary, along with [[Chris and health|full insurance benefits]] and [[Chris and reality|maternity leave]]. These incidents seem to indicate that Chris believes that money comes out of nowhere and is unlimited in value. Only time will tell how his financial situation ultimately plays out, but given his attitude here, the future definitely doesn't seem bright.

==Chris and credit cards==
That Chris has managed to acquire several credit cards is very surprising, but the foolishness with which he uses them wouldn't surprise anybody at all. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the [[PSN]] store, but his bill for PSN downloads increased by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By that point, Chris's debt had gotten so out of hand that Bob was forced to step in, making Chris reduce and manage on his spending, and forcing Chris to make regular payments to pay off his outstanding debt. Chris, thoughtless and uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit card debt accrues severe interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

Chris provided some more details about this situation in his [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mails to Jackie]] from [[July 2010]]. At some point, Bob paid off Chris's credit card debt and took payment in installments out of the tugboat in compensation. This foolish act of parental financial enabling allowed Chris to avoid the immediate consequences of his gross financial irresponsibility, and resulted in Chris learning nothing about how to manage his own finances, reinforcing Chris's attitude that he should be able to do anything that he wants and not suffer any negative consequences.

===Best Buy MasterCard===
Not surprisingly, it only took Chris a few short months to land himself in more financial trouble. In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob himself revealed that Chris had not only acquired a MasterCard charge account through [[Best Buy]], but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had predictably used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, delusional and in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of The GAMe PLACe, claimed that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from any of the near-destitute Chandlers is unknown.

Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point. Bob probably salvaged Chris's credit rating when he paid off all his prior card debt at once, but he angrily claimed Chris ruined it with the Best Buy debt (certainly true), and, in disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seemed to use this damning information to try to make Chris's latest brush with the [[Chris and the Law|law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* [[Troll]]s achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme, just by chance, happened to hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and then he blamed his debt on trolls, in another transparent attempt to avoid responsibility.

===Revelations to [[Jackie]]===
One of Chris's [[Jackie E-mails 7|e-mails to Jackie]] reveals that Chris acquired the Best Buy charge card without his parents' permission; he only told them about it after receiving 2 bounced check fees that showed up on his bank statement, which his father was actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to repay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled. He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his credit cards. From that point until Bob's death, he received only an allowance in the form of Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to accrue any more debt for a short time. At the time, the prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie E-mails 8|stressed him out]].

Curiously, even in his private communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that the overdraft fees that gave away the existence of the card to Bob were the work of trolls. Elsewhere in their conversations, however, he recounts other instances of "getting carried away" and accidentally overdrawing his bank account, suggesting that he was just using the trolls as a handy scapegoat for his own mistakes. Considering Bob shared many of Chris's outrageous delusions regarding troll activity, it is difficult to know whether or not he believed Chris's dubious excuse.

After Bob's passing, Chris once again resumed his thoughtless spending, completely disregarding and forsaking any hopes that his late father had had of Chris becoming financially responsible or independent. Chris's acquisition of the PlayStation Vita and over $600 worth of video games for that system were proof that Chris had regained control of his money after Bob's death and resumed tossing it away like it was nothing.

===Discovery sues Barb===
On 19 February, Discovery Bank sued Barb for not paying her debts, leaving them ''even further'' in financial turmoil.

==2014==
===June===
Unverified information on Chris's credit card debt was leaked on the CWCki Forums on 4 June 2014. It was revealed that Chris had at least five active credit cards, with at least $7600 in combined credit limit. Of the five known active cards, at least four were revealed to be maxed out, with at least $7400 in unpaid debt between the five cards. It was estimated that the minimum payment on Chris's known debt was at least $220 a month, and it was revealed that the only reason that Chris had been able to obtain the credit that he had was that, historically, he had almost always at least paid the minimum payment each month, although it was implied that he rarely if ever paid more than the minimum.<ref>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-and-his-finances-an-in-depth-review-of-his-debt.3809/ CWCki Forums: "Chris and his finances: An in-depth review of his debt"] ([https://archive.today/K6R2c archived version])</ref>

Given the Chandlers' financial situation as of June 2014, with most of Chris's tugboat going to help pay essential household expenses, it seems very unlikely that Chris has the financial resources to even pay off a small portion of his known debt, straining to make the monthly minimums each month. In response to his looming debt, instead of seeking financial consulting or trying to get a paying job, [[Chris and his Ego|Chris demanded massive monetary donations on Facebook]], and sought exorbitant prices for his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|crude artwork]] that he was selling on eBay.

===September===
Throughout the summer of 2014, Chris continued to spend thousands of dollars on [[Lego]] and other frivolities, all while whining and complaining on Facebook about his and his mother's poor finances. Chris financed this spending primarily with money from selling custom arts and crafts on his eBay account. Offering free shipping to customers, Chris would receive money from customers, and then pay for shipping out of his own pocket. However, Chris would immediately spend money as soon as it was deposited into his account, often leaving him unable to ship products to customers who had already paid him because of his own financial irresponsibility and negligence.

When several of Chris's eBay customers filed complaints against him because Chris failed to ship a order as promised and obligated, Chris responded by harassing and trolling the customers, posting their personal information in a public post on his Facebook account. In light of this, Chris's future money making prospects from eBay are dim, as most prospective future customers probably wouldn't want to risk being harassed or scammed by Chris.

All the while, even as Chris's credit card debt continued to spiral out of control, Chris continued to buy thousands of dollars of video games, Lego, and other frivolities. As if this were not bad enough, just days after putting his and Barb's cars up for sale, (at exorbitant prices) Chris went out and bought a 2010 Ford Focus, stating on Facebook that he had been approved for a loan, probably at a high interest rate.

Chris also stated that paying for insurance on his new car was "killing" him, implying that either the insurance payment was costly, that he was having trouble paying it, or both. It was commonly speculated on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris and his mother would be unable to afford to keep the car and that it would be repossessed in the near future.

Chris placed two cars for sale on Craigslist in September 2014. One was a dilapidated, rusty 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block that hadn't run in over a year. Despite having a market value (as scrap) of approximately $150, Chris demanded $5,000 for the automobile, insisting that the cracked engine block made the car a great [[Chris and reality|"fixer upper."]] Chris also placed his mother's BMW Z3 for sale, demanding $15,000 for a car that had a book value of approximately $3,000.

Throughout 2014, Chris continued his foolish behaviors of maxing out all his available credit, paying only the minimums on all his loans/debts, immediately spending money as soon as he got it, and making large, impulse purchases on unrealistic assumptions of future sales and income from various sources. (eBay, car sales, etc) Evidently, even after years of financial hardship, being burdened with debt, and paying a cumulative total of thousands of dollars in interest, Chris has apparently learned nothing about handling his personal finances, and refuses to try to live within the means provided to him by his monthly tugboat.

One dreads to imagine how his financial incompetence will affect him once Barb is dead - knowing Chris, and while it is quite tragic, he'll probably continue in his destructive spending patterns until he loses everything he has, and even then, he'll [[Ego|learn nothing]].

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris in real life. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[United States of America|American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu_9#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' [[Wikipedia:North Korea|North Korea]].

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States]]. States, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states have historically issued their own money - when they were colonies and during difficult times, such as the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

On the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu, Chris wrote that [[Rosechu]] is usually the one who cooks for her family, but when Sonichu cooks for his wife and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|kids]] he "will go as HIGH in portions as a Banquet", even though he only cooks for five individuals.<ref name=>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Married Life and Children Sonichu]</ref> This suggest that Sonichu is just as frivolous with money as his father.

===Soup hotels===

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to fruition in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, beds, lighting and cable television.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

==In other works==

In [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris loses his mind|Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp, pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, according to Chris, he tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him according to him.

In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless frivolities.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|''24'']]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

== Conclusion ==

Given Chris's carefree abandon when it comes to his spending habits, many are actually concerned as to what will happen to Chris when Barb passes on and he has to fend for himself. If past (and present) experiences are any indication, it's that if Chris continues on his path of not saving his money and spending it on frivolous crap that he doesn't need, he'll wind up broke and in severe debt. A [[Mumble_4|past conversation]] with [[Clyde Cash]] revealed that he doesn't even know the basic expenses that go into running a household, and we all know how Chris's plan of [[PlayingHouse|marrying a sweetheart to dump all of the financial responsibilities on her]] will [[Sweetheart#Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?|turn out.]]

Long story short, if Chris doesn't start saving for his future now, then when Barb finally passes on, he won't have one to look forward to. And he'll have nobody to blame but himself. ''(Not that he won't try, of course.)''

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Proposition to Sega

2016-05-15T06:09:16Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Transcript */

{{Transcription}}

'''Proposition to Sega''' is a video [[Chris|Chris]] made on the 14th of [[May_2016|May, 2016]]. The video itself is of Chris, offering [[Sega|Sega]] to hold a small amount of control over his creation, [[Sonichu_(comic)|Sonichu]]. In the introduction of the video, Chris claims that "if you want what he's got", you have to go through him. After this, Chris lays down the details of his offer of the [[Sonichu_(character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] brand, and also states that profits would be shared halfway through both parties. However, Chris states that all creative control of Sonichu would still be in His hands, and that Sega would only be able to expand upon it. Chris also states he will need some "employee benefits", assistance with the creative side of his [[Relics_of_Fail|projects]], and that his salary at Sega as the senior manager of the Sonichu product would be [[Chris_and_Money|$100,000]] a year. But, out of an oddly specific request, Chris wants a corner office in whatever building Chris thinks Sega will stick him into, even if Sega considered it, or even noticed the request at all, as he put this application on [[YouTube|YouTube]], and didn't (As we know of) contact Sega through any means. Chris also states that he would still work at [[14_Branchland_Court|home]], rendering the corner office [[CADD|useless]].

== Requests ==

Chris claims that he would need to work from home due to his "hectic lifestyle", and that he would also need benefits like a 401K, and health insurance, which is debatable if he really knows what a 401K is, and also maternity leave, which will never happen anyways. A secretary would also be need to handle administrative duties, and an assistant to do Chris's [[Chris_and_his_Ego|responsibilities]], like getting dinner, and taking care of his [[Barb|mother]], and also, they need to be female, presumably to get [[china]].
== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Proposition to Sega
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rjFwRnzySGY}}
| stardate =14 [[May 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Vest with striped undershirt
| previous = [[Donation Request‎‎]]
| next =
}}
== Description ==
{{Quotebox|**This video is addressed directly to SEGA of America and SEGA of Japan; Responses will only be accepted from the Officials of SEGA. Such people can personally, and directly reply to me, Miss Christine Weston Chandler, of Ruckersville, VA, USA, at my email address of ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, and the Best, Most Direct Option is via US Mail to my home address,

Christine Weston Chandler
14 Branchland Ct.
Ruckersville, VA 22968-9545

Thank You.
}}
Note that Chris is assuming Sega will watch this video.
== Transcript ==
*'''Chris''' *Audio cut out* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], so let's skip the introductions and get right down to business. You want what I got? Well you gotta go through m-me, and me alone, Christine Weston Chandler, Ruckersville, VA, in order to get. And lucky for you, I am such- I am open to such, an offer of partnership. I would offer you license to my original creation, Sonichu and Rosechu and the city of CWCville, as well as the world- yeah. The world and all that. Partnership would, uh, come with certain pre arran- [''there is a slight video error here''] -siouly. I would remain in c- creative control of Sonichu, and all associated media. I will be the sole owner of Sonichu, Sega...'s role here will be to expand the Sonichu brand name, as well as Rosechu, and a- help produce the various media includi- including video games, cartoons. These profits will be shared fifty percent, between the two parties. However I would also need an annual salary, and some co- and some common employment benefits. My salary for being in the senior branch is b- for being in the senior management position of the Sonichu product, at Sega, would be [[Chris and Money|one hundred thousand dollars]] a year. I would require a senior title, and a preferably corner office, even though I would be working at home. I would also need employees underneath t- underneath to assist with the administrative and creative sides of my Sonichu product. Project. But we will get to those later.

Due to my hectic lifestyle, I would need the ability to work from home, and when I choose. Also, basic benefits like 401k, health insurance, and [[Chris and Reality|maternity leave]]. Now, let's get down to my immediate staff. Due to the normal stresses of everyth- every day life and then some, and since Sonichu is not my only responsibility in my life, I require a secretary to handle administrative duties, benea- beneath my, uh, pay grade. And a personal assistant who would assist me with my daily- tasks which would typically include the following. Running errands, pickin' up, uh, lunch, breakfast, dinner, mm, pet sitting my dogs when I'm on business travel... getting mai- giving maintenance, on the uh, cars and whatever else required therein. Help on taking care of my [[Barb|aging mother]], as well as complete, in store pickup of items that I will purchase. I will want to be in charge of selecting the, uh, [[Women's rights|women]] for these positions myself.

Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about Sonichu and s- the Sonichu media. I would like you to assist with developing... I want son- oi... oh yeah, I would want to be- yeah I already said that. I want Sonichu to be a huge- as huge as he deserves to be. It's about high time Sonichu got his own video games so that everyone... can live his adventures. I would like to oversee the development team that would create my vision of the Sonichu video game. I would personally test and [[Chris and English|concrete]]- critique the latest versions of the software until I am satisfied with the finished product. I would also like you to use your negotiations with [[Nintendo]] to have the cast of Sonichu, as well as myself, added to the existing Amiibo figure library. I would also need you to help me create serveral animated Sonichu products. The first and most important of which would be and American version cartoon series. And I would like it to be made, uh, by DHS, who makes the, uh, little show called [[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]], I'm sure you've probably heard of that. And I would personally voice the characters of Sonichu, as well as myself. I would like also to have t- Tara Strong and Monica Rial to voice female characters as well. The artstyle should be more serious in tone, though, similar to Sonic X. Or like similar anime of that, uh, type. [''humming''] Right. For the Japanese market I would like there to be a Sonichu anime as well. Similar to the production of, uh, the popular animes. Hmm. And there could be something for the [[Chris and sex|adult]] market as well. And I also would like a staff- side to s- design and market a bunch of simple Sonichu merchandise such as t-shirts, mugs, hats, lunch boxes, and other novelty items. My fans need the Sonichu product. And the gear. I would especially love to partner with a footware company to make the actual footware that Sonichu and Rosechu wear. And I look for- [''inaudible''] forward to the immediate prompt reply to my offer. [[Announcement 04/16/2016|Together, let's make Sonichu great again.]] Thank you very much. [''Chris takes a slight bow and walks off camera'']

== Notes ==
* - The trash that is falling off of what appears to be a table to the right.
* - Chris appears to be reading his script, which alone is surprising, off of a whiteboard.
* - The items hanging from a wall, one of which appears to be an over-sized wrist-watch.
* - Chris is recording in his usual "controller in hand" style.
* - Chris looks surprisingly formal in this video.

Chris and video games

2016-05-14T16:57:58Z

EssentialAwakening: /* What Chris plays */

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game, and then...move onto another! I can't master any of them.|A TV anchorwoman on a younger Chris winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].}}

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game console once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

In case you didn't know, [[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris almost definitely centers his life around and spends more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] and [[Chris and sex|give him her]] [[china]]. He [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he will admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[Autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. [[Chris and reality|Reality isn't quite as simple]], which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==
Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He first played video games on a Commodore 64 home computer. Before he was eight years old, he had a Game Boy and a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System, and he acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to [[The Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spider-Man]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly 700 different game titles across 19 different platforms.(He sold off roughly 100 games in various trips to GameStop and local pawn shops during the late summer and early fall of 2010, but that still leaves a hell of a lot to go.) He also maintained an account with the mail-order rental service GameFly until [[August 2010]].

[[Sony]] consoles dominate Chris's collection. Counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings [[Homos|up the rear]]. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console. However, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for--there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more grievous examples of Chris's video-game-related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty-dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, ''racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/], or 150 payments a year. This list includes useless shovelware, Virtual Console games, and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like.]] Of these, 276 purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles(''buying '''4''' DSs and DSi consoles''), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account (such as Skylanders figures, amiibos, and his Wii U Virtual Console purchases) are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. Apparently, his main attention and [[Nintendo Power Magazine|fanboyism]] has shifted from PlayStation back to Nintendo, for unknown reasons.

This leak also revealed that Chris plays almost every game demo available on the eShop, Nintendo's online downloadable video game store, even if he has no interest in said game. This leak also confirmed he had bought every single [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] game and primary [[Pokémon]] RPG, proving that he is still a major fanboy of [[Sonichu (comic)|both franchises]], and also confirmed that he still makes many purchases multiple times over for no apparent reason, such as of Wario's Woods.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available--what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around--Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene and indie productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned; while the game is an M-rated title with swearing, decapitations, heavy metal music and tricky real-time strategy elements, for most part the atmosphere is still jolly and humorous enough, and majority of gameplay consists of exploring the world and having straightforward beat-em up fights. Some have questioned whether or not Chris's interest in ''Brütal Legend'' was because of an affinity for director [[Wikipedia:Tim Schafer|Tim Schafer's]] other quirky, offbeat games such as ''[[Wikipedia:Psychonauts|Psychonauts]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Grim Fandango|Grim Fandango]]''. While Chris might be drawn to the perceived [[random-access humor]] of such games, more likely, they were too intelligent for him, and not mainstream enough. More likely, his interest in ''Brütal Legend'' was due to Jack Black providing the main character's voice, and possibly [[Chris and music|Chris's failed attempts to appear to be a connoisseur of music]].

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely-common or extremely-shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for ''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory'', except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning. This habit seems to be picked up from [[Barbara]], and continues to this day in the form of eShop shovelware and virtual console downloads.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

Despite being obsessed with Pokemon, he's not a hardcore Nintendo fan as some might suspect. He never seems to show interest in the latest content from Nintendo, and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (such as games from the ''Metroid'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Mario'' franchises) are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks.

However, a January 2014 leak by a Nintendo Employee revealed that Chris had, in fact, returned to his [[Nintendo|Nintendo]] roots, buying nearly every single game on the eShop.

He owns almost no sports games. In the [[Mailbag 2|Mailbag]], he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly [[Obesity|why.]]

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. "Hardcore" games aimed at "adults" are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead. However, ever since his [[100 2357.MOV|sixth declaration that he has left the internet]] in late [[2010]], some more high-profile games aimed at adults have appeared on his PSN Trophy list (Such as ''Grand Theft Auto IV'' and ''Fallout: New Vegas''). Apparently the Hannah Montana PS3 game is no longer enough to fill his abundance of free time, and he's taken to playing games he wouldn't normally were he doing anything else with his life.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese Game Boy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe [[Megan Schroeder]] — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile and loathsome [[HEXBox]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Video games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a [[Chris's room|cave-dwelling]] autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the GameCube, stating that both forerunners to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. His feelings changed when he bought a PS1 at a "rummage sale" for cheap, intending to resell it elsewhere for profit, but instead played it and found it wasn't bad.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> One would expect this to be a lesson against nonsensical [[Chris and brand loyalty|brand loyalty]], but instead Chris just focused his hatred on Microsoft. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

Today, as of [[January 2015]], he is now a hardcore [[Nintendo]] fan at Sony's expense, as revealed by a recent leak by a TRUE AND HONEST [[Nintendo]] employee [http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/].

In typical fashion, Chris is ignorant of things he has chosen not to like. The only 360 game he seems to shown interest in, [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], seen in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] being modified for the PS3, was suggested to him by the fans. Though the game is just a crappy dating sim, and though there are other 360-exclusive games which would appeal to him, Chris claims that it's the only game worth playing on the 360.

Even slinging mud at the names of the consoles is very serious business to Chris. In [[Lars Call]], Chris says he doesn't like it when people call PS3 the "PS Triple", because that's what [[trolls]] call it. Of course, this comes from a man who [[Chris and hypocrisy|kept ranting about the "Hex Box"]].

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

In 2010 and afterward, two exceptions to this rule emerged. He did a good deal of online racing in ''ModNation Racers'' during the summer of 2010, while early in 2011, Chris began to show an interest in an online role-playing game for the first time, ''DC Universe Online''. His fondness for ModNation competition eventually passed, but it remains to be seen whether or not he'll develop a lasting interest in MMO gaming.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger syndrome]].

===Chris the trophy whore===
While Chris has little evident interest in directly interacting with other humans in online games, he does seem to enjoy building up a massive trophy case to passively show off in his PlayStation Network profile. He's doggedly played through a number of games in order to earn every available achievement, and on occasion he appeals to his [[fanbase]] for help in earning trophies. For instance, he begged readers of his [[Twitter]] feed to download his ''ModNation Racers'' levels so he could pick up one more trophy.

Slacker that he is, Chris prefers to put forth as little effort as possible to earn his trophies. Presented with a trophy in ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' that asked him to contribute a custom level to the game's online community, he fulfilled the requirement by uploading an empty level with no work put into it. (When this level was deleted by the community's administrators, he took the next-easiest route and uploaded his old levels made with the first ''LittleBigPlanet''.) In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he expressed great pleasure when the ''ModNation'' experience system was patched to make certain trophies easier to acquire.

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He might also own a copy of the first Lego Island game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure - which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)|Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the Game Boy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output hasn't shown too much actual competence, but it's not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply [[Collosal Chan|colossal]]. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Set Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts or personalizing small decals.

Likewise, as the gallery below displays, Chris enjoys customizing his game hardware. He's splattered Sonichu artwork all over his Gamecube, a Nintendo DS, a couple of Game Boy Advances, a PSP, his now-deceased original PS3, and possibly other consoles or handhelds. One of his [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers]] also appears to have received the Sonichu treatment, being repainted in blue and yellow.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games or video game consoles work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!"), even though he could easily check and see that he can't play his copy of Little Big Planet in his Wii, although he is either too lazy, or is afraid of having [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] raided by [[jerkop]]s.

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of. As stated in the survey of [[Chris and reality]], he once suggested that Nintendo should create a Poké Ball peripheral which could display holographs, of which we can only see in science fiction currently.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:Sonichugame.png
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's video games]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Club Nintendo]]
* [[Fandoms]]
* [[PlayStation 3]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

PlayStation 4

2016-03-08T16:01:40Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Chris finally gets one */

{{Taxpayermoney}}

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on [[November 2013|November 15th, 2013]]. It is generally considered one of the frontrunners of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by [[January 2016]].

Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]], He ''did'' show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.

This would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]].

==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] (alongside a frankly ridiculous statute of limitations - notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle). Whoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be reimbursed with a $500 voucher for his [[Etsy]] shop - [[Chris and his ego|apparently believing]] that his [[Sonichu (comic)|terrible comics]], [[Medallion|medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth ''any'' money (let alone hundreds of dollars). Making this even more ridiculous is that he would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further clarify]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle and camera would reduce the voucher, showing an unbelievable amount of entitlement in the process.

==="Sorry for being entitled - lol jk give me free shit"===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with him apologizing for setting these demands - though he openly states [[Autism|he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended]], further showing how talented [[Chris and reality|he thinks he is]]. Further showing how insincere his apology was is the ending, where Chris ''reiterates his demands'' once again.

===Things go sour====
Predictably, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. In a move somehow both unexpected and unsurprisingly, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he [[Stress|became somewhat depressed]] when they didn't.

==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on [[March 2016|March 5th, 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was commonly thought that he had finally given up and purchased it himself, until he revealed on Facebook that someone actually did take him up on the offer - a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington." Why someone actually did this is unknown; it could've been [[White knights|pity]], [[Troll|remorse]], or just an attempt to make Chris finally shut up about it.

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Chris and money

2016-02-22T18:46:49Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Chris and impulse spending */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Cwcshutup.png|thumb|Chris's response to literally any commercial.]]
{{quote|He's not good at math when it comes to managing money.|[[Bob Chandler]], understating it.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

Chris has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle '''money''' or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, [[Chris and his Ego|his greed and selfishness]], his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. [[Monthly tugboat|Too lazy to work]], he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that [[Autism|Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is]] and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.

==But wait, Chris isn't employed!==
For the vast majority of Chris's "adult" life, his only source of income has been the "tugboat" that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month. In 2009, this payout was $809 a month, placing his annual income at $9,708. Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board;<ref name="Miyamoto" /> this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> How much he gets to keep these days isn't known.

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. Yet with my impuslive [sic] shoppiness [sic] (mostly controable [sic]), I end up spending my side-money after I get it.|Chris, [[Chris and His Ego|completely deluded and taking pride in being a lazy bastard]].<ref name="Miyamoto">[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>}}

===Chris and impulse spending===
It's obvious that Chris has no grasp on the real value of money, since he actively wastes as much of his monthly tugboat as possible on things like [[The Eye of Judgement|trading cards]], [[Officer Nasty|sex toys]], [[Duck|porn]], [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], [[alcohol]], [[Kaka Makeup Basics|make-up]], [[Lego|toys]], [[Mia Hamm|prostitutes]], and weekly lottery tickets<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref>. Also, in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', while legislating as mayor of [[CWCville]], he equated 10 years in prison to a US$1,500 fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> He also equated fifty hours of [[Wikipedia:Community service|community service]] to $500 (for any [[sex]]ual violations).<ref>[[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck]]</ref>

Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer.<ref name="Miyamoto" /> His [[PlayStation Network]] account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy ''all'' available downloadable content for ''every'' single [[PlayStation 3]] game that he's ever purchased, and even for ''games he doesn't own'', and he also further promoted his [[Chris and brand loyalty|Sony fanboyism]] by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely costs about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his [[Chris and fashion|clothes]] at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age--not in Chris's case, apparently.

===Chris's parental enabling===
Bob encouraged his son to remain unemployed, since he believed that Chris would earn more money from his monthly tugboat than he would have from getting a job. However, this assumption was and is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: that's $15,100 annually. Subtracting the money he pays his mom every month to live, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000, which knowing Chris, would be spent on yet more frivolities. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulled in annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement came from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or the more accurate notion that his son is a useless failure.

A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending (or for anything else) by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him [[List of restaurants|fast food]] on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on frivolities and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|hygiene products]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|courses that could eventually help him onto the employment ladder]] or [[Clown shirt|clothing that isn't unbelievably tacky]]. Whenever Chris manages to [[The GAMe PLACe|get himself into trouble]], he knows that [[Barb]] will come [[Matthew Noble call|running to his aid and defend him]] and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he [[Target|is in the wrong]]. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his [[autism|poor impulse control]]) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.

===Chris's beliefs===
Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless junk, he is aiding the economy and paying for other people's tugboats.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever]]</ref> This is a [[Honor roll|damningly moronic statement]], since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with ''federal'' payroll tax. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.

Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy [[Chris and his Ego|fixation]] on his material possessions. In [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the [[Miyamoto Saga]], he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. His mother has served as a bad influence in both regards, as she would frequently shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire hazard]].

===Losing the tugboat?===
With the possibility that he might have ended up in jail over the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris's bad spending habits would have come back to haunt him. In jail, he wouldn't be able to collect his monthly tugboat, and if a full year passed without him collecting his checks, he would have to reapply for his welfare, something that would be a bit more difficult under the Obama administration, which doesn't look too kindly on social security due to the stress it causes to the overall economy,<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/24/us/politics/financial-outlook-dims-for-social-security.html]</ref> and has even started measures to cut them down altogether.<ref>[http://finance.yahoo.com/news/u-winds-down-longer-benefits-152809517.html]</ref> That, combined with the costs associated with court appearances as well as the fact that the last surviving breadwinner, Barbara, may have also landed in jail, would have resulted in Chris being placed in very dire circumstances, something which [[Kacey|several]] [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Kacey Call 1.5|have]] [[Mumble 4|tried]] [[PlayStation Vita|and failed]] to warn him about. Fortunately for him, he wasn't sentenced to jail, but the fact that he openly stated during his trial that his mother would pay his court fees is telling of both [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|his character]] and his financial situation.

However, it seems that even this has not given Chris pause, as he got himself into legal trouble [[26 December 2014|again]] and even got sent to jail for a brief time until he was quickly bailed out. Since he is both a repeat offender and financially drained after his last court hearing, it seems very unlikely that Chris will get off with a slap on the wrist this time, which means that he is once again in danger of losing his tugboat.

===In recent years===
It is worth noting that despite all of the circumstances (and expenses) described above, Chris is still wasting money on video games, as evidenced by his playing of ''Rock Band Blitz'' on the PSN, which was released in August 2012, pretty much cementing that even when faced with the consequences of bad spending habits, Chris will learn absolutely nothing. He has also spent gigantic amounts of money on Legos, despite the dire straits his family's finances are in since the destruction of 14BC.

In September [[2013]], Chris complained about he and his mom going through "emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By",<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref> making it clear that the family income had dipped since Bob's passing. However, these supposedly lean times were apparently not enough to motivate Chris to get a job, or even to stop buying games, as evidenced by him racking up over $1000 in game purchases over that time period.

On [[10 January 2014]], 14 Branchland Court burnt down. This would undoubtedly place the Chandlers in grim circumstances, due to the costs of rebuilding the home and replacing what was lost. Many, concerned about Chris due to his wasteful spending habits, hoped that this would be the moment in Chris's life where he finally woke up and realized the importance of saving when things like this happen. Unfortunately, not even ''this'' has broken Chris's thick skull--he apparently purchased ''The Lego Movie Video Game'' for his PS3 in February ''(however, it should be noted that due to a huge inflow of troll remorse, it's entirely possible that the game was a donation....or at least it was until it was [[March 2014 Facebook Posts#Rumour|confirmed that he did indeed buy it himself]].)'' At this point, only time will tell.

In the months that followed, Chris has resorted to begging online for money, placing extra emphasis on ''"My mother and I really need the money,"'' despite dropping more than '''$5,000''' on expensive [[Lego]] sets to feed his worsening addiction. One would think that Chris would have wised up to the fact that his wanton spending and lack of gainful employment are contributing to his woes, but one glance at his [[May 2014 Facebook Posts]] could easily tell you that he's seeing his situation as an avenue to get stuff from people, the most ridiculous of which being a "$300 Sea Cow" on his wish list, which would not benefit anybody but himself in the slightest. He has also attempted to sell [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|an original art piece of his]] on eBay; logical, though sorely [[Chris and art|misguided]].

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years<reF>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/]</ref>, a list which includes useless shovelware, hoards of 1st party Nintendo software, Virtual Console games and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like]]. 276 of these purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles (buying '''4''' DSs and DSis), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. This information comes on the heels of Chris begging people for money to fix his mother's cavities, as well as the financial worries that his trials will undoubtedly cause.

==Chris and credit cards==
That Chris has managed to acquire several credit cards is very surprising, but the foolishness with which he uses them wouldn't surprise anybody at all. As of [[February 2009]], Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of [[Mumble 4]], $1,000 of that sum came from the [[PSN]] store, but his bill for PSN downloads increased by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee]], by [[January 2010]] his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.

By that point, Chris's debt had gotten so out of hand that Bob was forced to step in, making Chris reduce and manage on his spending, and forcing Chris to make regular payments to pay off his outstanding debt. Chris, thoughtless and uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit card debt accrues severe interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.

Chris provided some more details about this situation in his [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mails to Jackie]] from [[July 2010]]. At some point, Bob paid off Chris's credit card debt and took payment in installments out of the tugboat in compensation. This foolish act of parental financial enabling allowed Chris to avoid the immediate consequences of his gross financial irresponsibility, and resulted in Chris learning nothing about how to manage his own finances, reinforcing Chris's attitude that he should be able to do anything that he wants and not suffer any negative consequences.

===Best Buy MasterCard===
Not surprisingly, it only took Chris a few short months to land himself in more financial trouble. In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob himself revealed that Chris had not only acquired a MasterCard charge account through [[Best Buy]], but as of the second week of [[August 2010]], Chris had predictably used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment. Bob, delusional and in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of The GAMe PLACe, claimed that it was most likely [[Michael Snyder]] who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from any of the near-destitute Chandlers is unknown.

Also unknown is why ''any'' financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point. Bob probably salvaged Chris's credit rating when he paid off all his prior card debt at once, but he angrily claimed Chris ruined it with the Best Buy debt (certainly true), and, in disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seemed to use this damning information to try to make Chris's latest brush with the [[Chris and the Law|law]] seem "petty" in comparison.

There are three possibilities as to what actually occurred (from least to most likely):
* [[Troll]]s achieved this new pinnacle of fucking with Chris and didn't bother bragging about it on some forum or another.
* Some regular criminal's credit card fraud scheme, just by chance, happened to hit Chris.
* Chris blew whatever little credit that Best Buy had foolishly given him, mistakenly attempted to pay off the card with funds from his checking account that weren't there, and then he blamed his debt on trolls, in another transparent attempt to avoid responsibility.

===Revelations to [[Jackie]]===
One of Chris's [[Jackie E-mails 7|e-mails to Jackie]] reveals that Chris acquired the Best Buy charge card without his parents' permission; he only told them about it after receiving 2 bounced check fees that showed up on his bank statement, which his father was actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to repay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled. He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his credit cards. From that point until Bob's death, he received only an allowance in the form of Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to accrue any more debt for a short time. At the time, the prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities [[Jackie E-mails 8|stressed him out]].

Curiously, even in his private communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that the overdraft fees that gave away the existence of the card to Bob were the work of trolls. Elsewhere in their conversations, however, he recounts other instances of "getting carried away" and accidentally overdrawing his bank account, suggesting that he was just using the trolls as a handy scapegoat for his own mistakes. Considering Bob shared many of Chris's outrageous delusions regarding troll activity, it is difficult to know whether or not he believed Chris's dubious excuse.

After Bob's passing, Chris once again resumed his thoughtless spending, completely disregarding and forsaking any hopes that his late father had had of Chris becoming financially responsible or independent. Chris's acquisition of the PlayStation Vita and over $600 worth of video games for that system were proof that Chris had regained control of his money after Bob's death and resumed tossing it away like it was nothing.

==2014==
===June===
Unverified information on Chris's credit card debt was leaked on the CWCki Forums on 4 June 2014. It was revealed that Chris had at least five active credit cards, with at least $7600 in combined credit limit. Of the five known active cards, at least four were revealed to be maxed out, with at least $7400 in unpaid debt between the five cards. It was estimated that the minimum payment on Chris's known debt was at least $220 a month, and it was revealed that the only reason that Chris had been able to obtain the credit that he had was that, historically, he had almost always at least paid the minimum payment each month, although it was implied that he rarely if ever paid more than the minimum.<ref>[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-and-his-finances-an-in-depth-review-of-his-debt.3809/ CWCki Forums: "Chris and his finances: An in-depth review of his debt"] ([https://archive.today/K6R2c archived version])</ref>

Given the Chandlers' financial situation as of June 2014, with most of Chris's tugboat going to help pay essential household expenses, it seems very unlikely that Chris has the financial resources to even pay off a small portion of his known debt, straining to make the monthly minimums each month. In response to his looming debt, instead of seeking financial consulting or trying to get a paying job, [[Chris and his Ego|Chris demanded massive monetary donations on Facebook]], and sought exorbitant prices for his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|crude artwork]] that he was selling on eBay.

===September===
Throughout the summer of 2014, Chris continued to spend thousands of dollars on [[Lego]] and other frivolities, all while whining and complaining on Facebook about his and his mother's poor finances. Chris financed this spending primarily with money from selling custom arts and crafts on his eBay account. Offering free shipping to customers, Chris would receive money from customers, and then pay for shipping out of his own pocket. However, Chris would immediately spend money as soon as it was deposited into his account, often leaving him unable to ship products to customers who had already paid him because of his own financial irresponsibility and negligence.

When several of Chris's eBay customers filed complaints against him because Chris failed to ship a order as promised and obligated, Chris responded by harassing and trolling the customers, posting their personal information in a public post on his Facebook account. In light of this, Chris's future money making prospects from eBay are dim, as most prospective future customers probably wouldn't want to risk being harassed or scammed by Chris.

All the while, even as Chris's credit card debt continued to spiral out of control, Chris continued to buy thousands of dollars of video games, Lego, and other frivolities. As if this were not bad enough, just days after putting his and Barb's cars up for sale, (at exorbitant prices) Chris went out and bought a 2010 Ford Focus, stating on Facebook that he had been approved for a loan, probably at a high interest rate.

Chris also stated that paying for insurance on his new car was "killing" him, implying that either the insurance payment was costly, that he was having trouble paying it, or both. It was commonly speculated on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris and his mother would be unable to afford to keep the car and that it would be repossessed in the near future.

Chris placed two cars for sale on Craigslist in September 2014. One was a dilapidated, rusty 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block that hadn't run in over a year. Despite having a market value (as scrap) of approximately $150, Chris demanded $5,000 for the automobile, insisting that the cracked engine block made the car a great [[Chris and reality|"fixer upper."]] Chris also placed his mother's BMW Z3 for sale, demanding $15,000 for a car that had a book value of approximately $3,000.

Throughout 2014, Chris continued his foolish behaviors of maxing out all his available credit, paying only the minimums on all his loans/debts, immediately spending money as soon as he got it, and making large, impulse purchases on unrealistic assumptions of future sales and income from various sources. (eBay, car sales, etc) Evidently, even after years of financial hardship, being burdened with debt, and paying a cumulative total of thousands of dollars in interest, Chris has apparently learned nothing about handling his personal finances, and refuses to try to live within the means provided to him by his monthly tugboat.

One dreads to imagine how his financial incompetence will affect him once Barb is dead - knowing Chris, and while it is quite tragic, he'll probably continue in his destructive spending patterns until he loses everything he has, and even then, he'll [[Ego|learn nothing]].

==In the comic==

[[File:Cwccash.jpg|thumb|250px|[[CWCville]] currency.]]
In [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]] it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Patti-Chan]], and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris in real life. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the [[United States of America|American]] populace who pay for his [[Kimmi|bullshit]]. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are [[Mailbag 21#Home economics|"paid" in average]] of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional [[Sonichu 9|city defense]] or [[A Sonichu Day|errand]].<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering [[honor roll|what the word "quarter" means]]. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, ''à la'' [[Wikipedia:North Korea|North Korea]].

This makes even less sense considering [[CWCVille]] is part of the [[United States]]. States, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. Granted, states have historically issued their own money - when they were colonies and during difficult times, such as the Revolutionary War. [[Chris]] being Chris, and likely reading [[Goosebumps]] instead of paying attention in class, missed out on this information.

On the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu, Chris wrote that [[Rosechu]] is usually the one who cooks for her family, but when Sonichu cooks for his wife and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|kids]] he "will go as HIGH in portions as a Banquet", even though he only cooks for five individuals.<ref name=>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Married Life and Children Sonichu]</ref> This suggest that Sonichu is just as frivolous with money as his father.

===Soup hotels===

Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American [[Wikipedia:Social Security (United States)|Social Security]] system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.

{{quote|Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels.|Chris with a very bad idea [http://leoweekly.com/news/left-wayside that has come to fruition in one American city...]}}

Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, beds, lighting and cable television.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem]]</ref> Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a ''bona fide'' hotel. This means that, in [[CWCville]], there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Ultra Sonichu]] and a bevy of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that [[CWCville]] has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.

==In other works==

In [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris loses his mind|Mailbag 29]] he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp, pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free [[Dating education|Sex Ed classes]] for [[virgin]]s.

In real life, according to Chris, he tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|prostitute]] who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. The prostitute hung up on him according to him.

In late [[October 2011]], Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it;<ref>[[Craigslist#Television]]</ref> in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.

Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the [[PlayingHouse]] video, his [[sweetheart]] of [[Jackie|the moment]] is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a [[14 Branchland Court|stay at home]] Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|changing diapers]] and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his [[Crystal|preschool daughter]] to watch over [[Reginald Chandler|his son]] while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with [[Bob]] gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his [[This is how the Trial went|admission in court,]] Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that ''he'' started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless frivolities.

== On TV ==
In [[Mumble 6]], Chris discussed making a TV show called ''The Chris Chandler Show''. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, ''à-la'' the season premieres of [[wikipedia:24 (TV Series)|''24'']]. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.

== Conclusion ==

Given Chris's carefree abandon when it comes to his spending habits, many are actually concerned as to what will happen to Chris when Barb passes on and he has to fend for himself. If past (and present) experiences are any indication, it's that if Chris continues on his path of not saving his money and spending it on frivolous crap that he doesn't need, he'll wind up broke and in severe debt. A [[Mumble_4|past conversation]] with [[Clyde Cash]] revealed that he doesn't even know the basic expenses that go into running a household, and we all know how Chris's plan of [[PlayingHouse|marrying a sweetheart to dump all of the financial responsibilities on her]] will [[Sweetheart#Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?|turn out.]]

Long story short, if Chris doesn't start saving for his future now, then when Barb finally passes on, he won't have one to look forward to. And he'll have nobody to blame but himself. ''(Not that he won't try, of course.)''

==See also==
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Wendy's

2016-01-10T21:52:57Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Dismissal */

[[Image:Wendy's logo.png|120px|center]]

[[File:Wendys Chris 2011.jpg|thumb|250px|The branch of Wendy's at which Chris worked.]]
[[File:Wendys2015.jpg|thumb|250px|Another view of the store.]]

'''Wendy's''' is an [[United States of America|American]] [[Obesity|fast food]] chain that employed Chris briefly until he got fired. Chris's job primarily consisted of custodial duties instead of preparing food.

Chris has contradicted himself at various times about exactly when he worked there. He claimed in his [[Chris's resume|resumé]] that he worked there from August to October [[2001]], but he told [[Kacey]]'s father that he had already been fired before [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> Chris likely worked at Wendy's for a month and a half, working about 20-30 hours a week for what was probably minimum wage.

==Chris the employee==
Chris said that his duties consisted of "Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help."<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref> Accounts of his employment paint him as a stubborn and difficult employee. In [[2009]], Chris was asked about his time at Wendy's several times after the date with [[Emily]]. Chris believed his supervisor didn't think very highly of him for reasons upon which we can only speculate. He mentioned a time involving him getting his uniform dirty and simply continuing to wear it after trying to wash it in the bathroom sink, not taking into account the [[Chris and health#Hygiene|usual sanitation standards]] of most fast food restaurants and also not realizing he could get another, clean shirt from the supply room.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

In a [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father, Chris mentioned "emotional differences" as the reason for his termination, and claimed that the manager had a "spike on his shoulder" against him. It's not known what these differences were, although they were almost certainly minor differences of opinion over punctuality and performing the job duties for which he was hired.<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

A chat with [[Jackie]] revealed more information about Chris's time at Wendy's. Chris talked about how a female co-worker was mean-spirited and gave him "bad times with criticisms, insults and whatnot." In reality, this could have been a co-worker simply trying to give Chris some constructive criticism. In the same chat, Chris also admitted that he would take frequent breaks after washing the tables and taking out the trash, not realizing that there was other stuff for him to do.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]]</ref>

==Dismissal==

{{quote|You got fired from Wendy's, most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's.| [[Father Call|Matthew Devoria]]}}

The circumstances of Chris's firing are unclear, as Chris has given vague and contradictory answers about the cause of his dismissal. The last straw appears to have been when Chris scared a small boy in the restaurant. His family were about to leave, Chris helped them by giving them their bags and a top for their baked potato boat,<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]]</ref> but then Chris performed his terrifying [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and the child cried. Chris claims that this did not scare the child - he was just tired.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]] - "No, not really scary, you see he was tired..."</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - "But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired."</ref>

In a later account, he denied performing the voice when talking to [[Jackie]],<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]] - "he got his opportunity one night after watching a family with a tired child crying; I did nothing to cause him to cry, he WAS tired. And I offered to get a top for their potato so they could take it with them. [...] the manager thought I had done my Donald Duck voice for the child and made him cry, which was not the case.</ref> even though he had admitted to it in previous accounts.<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - Troll: "Well, we heard that, uh, you... We've heard so many things, like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child." Chris: "Mmm... Also, that- Also, that is correct, but I did not scare the child."</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

According to an account from [[Catherine|Catherine's]] Cousin Al, Chris was actually fired for drawing an offensive picture depicting an older female coworker as a [[Pokemon]]. <ref>[[Catherine]] - "Chris was fired from Wendy's back in 2001 because he drew a deliberately ugly picture of an older, female coworker as a Pokémon on a napkin." </ref> Given Chris's history of [[Mary Lee Walsh|respecting his elders]], this is not surprising.

At Wendy's, Chris received the only money he has ever actually earned in his life — a sum likely consisting of about $500, or nineteen days' worth of [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]].

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Cutco]] - Chris's only other employer.
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[Donald Duck impersonation]]
{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Jobs]]

Wendy's

2016-01-10T21:50:56Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Dismissal */

[[Image:Wendy's logo.png|120px|center]]

[[File:Wendys Chris 2011.jpg|thumb|250px|The branch of Wendy's at which Chris worked.]]
[[File:Wendys2015.jpg|thumb|250px|Another view of the store.]]

'''Wendy's''' is an [[United States of America|American]] [[Obesity|fast food]] chain that employed Chris briefly until he got fired. Chris's job primarily consisted of custodial duties instead of preparing food.

Chris has contradicted himself at various times about exactly when he worked there. He claimed in his [[Chris's resume|resumé]] that he worked there from August to October [[2001]], but he told [[Kacey]]'s father that he had already been fired before [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> Chris likely worked at Wendy's for a month and a half, working about 20-30 hours a week for what was probably minimum wage.

==Chris the employee==
Chris said that his duties consisted of "Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help."<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref> Accounts of his employment paint him as a stubborn and difficult employee. In [[2009]], Chris was asked about his time at Wendy's several times after the date with [[Emily]]. Chris believed his supervisor didn't think very highly of him for reasons upon which we can only speculate. He mentioned a time involving him getting his uniform dirty and simply continuing to wear it after trying to wash it in the bathroom sink, not taking into account the [[Chris and health#Hygiene|usual sanitation standards]] of most fast food restaurants and also not realizing he could get another, clean shirt from the supply room.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

In a [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father, Chris mentioned "emotional differences" as the reason for his termination, and claimed that the manager had a "spike on his shoulder" against him. It's not known what these differences were, although they were almost certainly minor differences of opinion over punctuality and performing the job duties for which he was hired.<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

A chat with [[Jackie]] revealed more information about Chris's time at Wendy's. Chris talked about how a female co-worker was mean-spirited and gave him "bad times with criticisms, insults and whatnot." In reality, this could have been a co-worker simply trying to give Chris some constructive criticism. In the same chat, Chris also admitted that he would take frequent breaks after washing the tables and taking out the trash, not realizing that there was other stuff for him to do.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]]</ref>

==Dismissal==

{{quote|You got fired from Wendy's, most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's.| [[Father Call|Matthew Devoria]]}}

The circumstances of Chris's firing are unclear, as Chris has given vague and contradictory answers about the cause of his dismissal. The last straw appears to have been when Chris scared a small boy in the restaurant. His family were about to leave, Chris helped them by giving them their bags and a top for their baked potato boat,<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]]</ref> but then Chris performed his terrifying [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and the child cried. Chris claims that this did not scare the child - he was just tired.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]] - "No, not really scary, you see he was tired..."</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - "But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired."</ref>

In a later account, he denied performing the voice when talking to [[Jackie]],<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]] - "he got his opportunity one night after watching a family with a tired child crying; I did nothing to cause him to cry, he WAS tired. And I offered to get a top for their potato so they could take it with them. [...] the manager thought I had done my Donald Duck voice for the child and made him cry, which was not the case.</ref> even though he had admitted to it in previous accounts.<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - Troll: "Well, we heard that, uh, you... We've heard so many things, like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child." Chris: "Mmm... Also, that- Also, that is correct, but I did not scare the child."</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

According to an account from [[Catherine|Catherine's]] Cousin Al, Chris was actually fired for drawing an offensive picture depicting an older female coworker as a [[Pokemon]]. <ref>[[Catherine#The bowling outing]]</ref> Given Chris's history of [[Mary Lee Walsh|respecting his elders]], this is not surprising.

At Wendy's, Chris received the only money he has ever actually earned in his life — a sum likely consisting of about $500, or nineteen days' worth of [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]].

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Cutco]] - Chris's only other employer.
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[Donald Duck impersonation]]
{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Jobs]]

Wendy's

2016-01-10T21:50:09Z

EssentialAwakening:

[[Image:Wendy's logo.png|120px|center]]

[[File:Wendys Chris 2011.jpg|thumb|250px|The branch of Wendy's at which Chris worked.]]
[[File:Wendys2015.jpg|thumb|250px|Another view of the store.]]

'''Wendy's''' is an [[United States of America|American]] [[Obesity|fast food]] chain that employed Chris briefly until he got fired. Chris's job primarily consisted of custodial duties instead of preparing food.

Chris has contradicted himself at various times about exactly when he worked there. He claimed in his [[Chris's resume|resumé]] that he worked there from August to October [[2001]], but he told [[Kacey]]'s father that he had already been fired before [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> Chris likely worked at Wendy's for a month and a half, working about 20-30 hours a week for what was probably minimum wage.

==Chris the employee==
Chris said that his duties consisted of "Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help."<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref> Accounts of his employment paint him as a stubborn and difficult employee. In [[2009]], Chris was asked about his time at Wendy's several times after the date with [[Emily]]. Chris believed his supervisor didn't think very highly of him for reasons upon which we can only speculate. He mentioned a time involving him getting his uniform dirty and simply continuing to wear it after trying to wash it in the bathroom sink, not taking into account the [[Chris and health#Hygiene|usual sanitation standards]] of most fast food restaurants and also not realizing he could get another, clean shirt from the supply room.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

In a [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father, Chris mentioned "emotional differences" as the reason for his termination, and claimed that the manager had a "spike on his shoulder" against him. It's not known what these differences were, although they were almost certainly minor differences of opinion over punctuality and performing the job duties for which he was hired.<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

A chat with [[Jackie]] revealed more information about Chris's time at Wendy's. Chris talked about how a female co-worker was mean-spirited and gave him "bad times with criticisms, insults and whatnot." In reality, this could have been a co-worker simply trying to give Chris some constructive criticism. In the same chat, Chris also admitted that he would take frequent breaks after washing the tables and taking out the trash, not realizing that there was other stuff for him to do.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]]</ref>

==Dismissal==

{{quote|You got fired from Wendy's, most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's.| [[Father Call|Matthew Devoria]]}}

The circumstances of Chris's firing are unclear, as Chris has given vague and contradictory answers about the cause of his dismissal. The last straw appears to have been when Chris scared a small boy in the restaurant. His family were about to leave, Chris helped them by giving them their bags and a top for their baked potato boat,<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]]</ref> but then Chris performed his terrifying [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and the child cried. Chris claims that this did not scare the child - he was just tired.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]] - "No, not really scary, you see he was tired..."</ref><ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - "But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired."</ref>

In a later account, he denied performing the voice when talking to [[Jackie]],<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4|Jackie Chat #4]] - "he got his opportunity one night after watching a family with a tired child crying; I did nothing to cause him to cry, he WAS tired. And I offered to get a top for their potato so they could take it with them. [...] the manager thought I had done my Donald Duck voice for the child and made him cry, which was not the case.</ref> even though he had admitted to it in previous accounts.<ref>[[Mumble 7|Mumble #7]] - Troll: "Well, we heard that, uh, you... We've heard so many things, like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child." Chris: "Mmm... Also, that- Also, that is correct, but I did not scare the child."</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

According to an account from [[Catherine|Catherine's]] Cousin Al, Chris was actually fired for drawing an offensive picture depicting an older female coworker as a [[Pokemon]]. <ref>[[Catherine#The bowling outing]]</ref> Given Chris's history of [[Mary Lee Walsh|respecting his elders]], this is nt surprising.

At Wendy's, Chris received the only money he has ever actually earned in his life — a sum likely consisting of about $500, or nineteen days' worth of [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]].

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Cutco]] - Chris's only other employer.
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[Donald Duck impersonation]]
{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Jobs]]

January 2016

2016-01-06T18:07:33Z

EssentialAwakening:

{{Ongoing}}
{{Needs Updating}}

'''January''' is the first month of '''[[2016]]'''. With the New Year in full flow, a [[26 December 2014|court case resolved]] and GameStop and Lulu stressing Chris out, along with his [[Health|unhealthy]] use of Oestrogel, this may very well be an interesting year.

==Events of January==
* 1 [[January 2016|January]]- Chris wishes everyone a Happy New Year in the form of [[random-access humor|"random access gibberish"]] on Facebook and continues to complain about [[Chris and health|feeling dizzy and sick]].
* 6 January - Chris uploads [[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement|a new video]], in which he advertises his "Lesbian sleepover". This is certainly not an attempt to [[Love Quest|lure]] and [[rape]] other women, or anything like that.

==References==
{{Timeline}}

Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement

2016-01-06T17:04:19Z

EssentialAwakening:

'''Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement''' is a video in which Chris makes an open invitation for [[China|women]] to come to his [[14 Branchland Court|filthy pigsty of a house]] and have a [[Love Quest|slumber party.]] Note the fire damaged [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] totem which will be staring at them should any desperate and/or depraved woman take Chris up on his invitation. Chris's corresponding post on Facebook indicates that a [[Gal pal|"gal friend"]] will be co-hosting the event; besides this [[Troll|mystery person]] , the only woman expected to show up is [[Barbara Chandler|Barb.]]

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UMFZKsSMI-Y}}
| stardate = 6 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Sex|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = "Do What Makes You Happy" lilac shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]
}}

== Transcript ==

Hello ladies. Once again Christine Chandler coming to you live from home. Meet my cat (garbled gibberish about his cat).

But that's not why I'm making this video. I am making this video because I would like to let yall know about the lesbian slumber party that... I am planning on. The day has not been set yet but I am extending the invitations. So... Let me know if you'd like to attend to.. to my Madame Christine email address listed below this... ah... video and we can have a night of fun and frivolous activities.

And the application's open to all straight, lesbian, and bisexual women. So come on out and we'll have a sexy time.

Thank you very much.

Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement

2016-01-06T17:03:22Z

EssentialAwakening:

'''Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement''' is a video in which Chris makes an open invitation for [[China|women]] to come to his [[14 Branchland Court|filthy pigsty of a house]] and have a [[Love Quest|slumber party.]] Note the fire damaged [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] totem which will be staring at them should any desperate and/or depraved woman take Chris up on his invitation. Chris's corresponding post on [[January 2016 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] indicates that a [[Gal pal|"gal friend"]] will be co-hosting the event; besides this [[Troll|mystery person]] , the only woman expected to show up is [[Barbara Chandler|Barb.]]

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UMFZKsSMI-Y}}
| stardate = 6 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Sex|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = "Do What Makes You Happy" lilac shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]
}}

== Transcript ==

Hello ladies. Once again Christine Chandler coming to you live from home. Meet my cat (garbled gibberish about his cat).

But that's not why I'm making this video. I am making this video because I would like to let yall know about the lesbian slumber party that... I am planning on. The day has not been set yet but I am extending the invitations. So... Let me know if you'd like to attend to.. to my Madame Christine email address listed below this... ah... video and we can have a night of fun and frivolous activities.

And the application's open to all straight, lesbian, and bisexual women. So come on out and we'll have a sexy time.

Thank you very much.

Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement

2016-01-06T17:02:27Z

EssentialAwakening:

'''Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement''' is a video in which Chris makes an open invitation for [[China|women]] to come to his [[14 Branchland Court|filthy pigsty of a house]] and have a [[Love Quest|slumber party.]] Note the fire damaged [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] totem which will be staring at them should any desperate and/or depraved woman take Chris up on his invitation. Chris's corresponding post on [[January 2016 Facebook posts|Facebook]] indicates that a [[Ga pal|"gal friend"]] will be co-hosting the event; besides this [[Troll|mystery person]] , the only woman expected to show up is [[Barbara Chandler|Barb.]]

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UMFZKsSMI-Y}}
| stardate = 6 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Sex|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = "Do What Makes You Happy" lilac shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Holiday Greetings to Karen Riley]]
}}

== Transcript ==

Hello ladies. Once again Christine Chandler coming to you live from home. Meet my cat (garbled gibberish about his cat).

But that's not why I'm making this video. I am making this video because I would like to let yall know about the lesbian slumber party that... I am planning on. The day has not been set yet but I am extending the invitations. So... Let me know if you'd like to attend to.. to my Madame Christine email address listed below this... ah... video and we can have a night of fun and frivolous activities.

And the application's open to all straight, lesbian, and bisexual women. So come on out and we'll have a sexy time.

Thank you very much.

Chris and mental healthcare

2016-01-05T22:21:04Z

EssentialAwakening: /* In his own mind */

{{quote|My CURRENT [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] can help me a LOT better than any "professional" because [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] supports them as well.|Chris<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist in grade school while his screams were recorded (almost certainly a lie), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris has refused to see a psychologist in the past, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead. However, during his trial in [[July 2012]], he was ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment and evaluation. Only time will tell if this will finally force Chris to accept the help he needs, or ultimately accomplish nothing more than draining the remaining Chandlers' already minuscule funds.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
[[File:Picasso.jpg|thumb|400px|An insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]

===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia,<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself|Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]: '''Chris''': "I am a homophobe; I fear them all"</ref> and a victim of [[noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of girls having boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the [[trolls]]." (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22 (logic)|Catch-22]].)

It's no secret that Chris has always had a very childish mindset and views growing up as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|some sort of epic, arduous challenge,]] but it wasn't until a [[Kacey Call 10|conversation with Kacey]] that we knew just how serious this was; according to Chris, as a child, he never had any serious idea of what he wanted to be when he grew up (something all healthy children consider at one point or another), nor did the thought of becoming an adult ever truly cross his mind. This implies that Chris may have thought that he would remain a child forever.

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A [[Wikipedia:Cornell University|Cornell University]] [http://people.psych.cornell.edu/~dunning/publications/pdf/unskilledandunaware.pdf psychology journal] details this phenomenon:

{{quote|...when people are incompetent in [[Attraction Sign|the strategies they adopt]] to achieve success and [[China|satisfaction]], they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of [[Naïve|the ability to to realize it.]]|A disturbingly accurate account of Chris’s reaction to [[Chris and reality|reality]]}}

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at PVCC in [[2004]] echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received sometime in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend." He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment. Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

==Professional help?==
One of the most frustrating elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Borb]] think that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of straitjackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever had was a compulsory anger management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is Rocky Shoemaker, his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag #2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag #4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It is likely that he would be able to seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely, though, he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting [[PS3]] games, ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' or ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' DLC, and [[sex toys]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal [[Wikipedia:Medicaid|Medicaid]] or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May Chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered his noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he [[Vidya|has]], [[anime|better]] [[Kimmi|things]] to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are; regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a thirteen-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things; regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of fail, Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling ''other'' people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag #35]]</ref> Funnily enough, were Chris to ever see a psychologist, he or she would probably see this as classic [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection Freudian projection].

However, during the [[This is how the Trial went|fallout]] of the events which took place on [[28 October 2011|28 October]], Chris was sentenced to mandatory psychiatric treatment and evaluation. The results have yet to come, but given that he [[26 December 2014|pepper sprayed a man]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of a video game character's arms]] two whole years after starting this therapy, it's safe to say the treatment does not appear to be working.

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common.

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his stress and anger issues. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he had switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his 11th call with [[Kacey]] Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, it seems that Chris is still taking the same medication, only under a different appellation.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of a sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; if his current antidepressant is still Paroxetine (or at least another [[wikipedia:Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor|SSRI]]) then it might explain why it took him around 20 minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[Julie]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and [[biological clock|sedentary lifestyle]].

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh has experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===Psychiatric Papers===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point, Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary school years or sometime after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was ordered to take anger management classes.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional, and...well...he still can't control his anger. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris's that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===Rocky Shoemaker===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listens to '''anything''' she says.
#He misconstrues everything she says, accepting advice he likes and ignoring advice he doesn't like.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remains the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls. [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] from October 2009 and told [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey_Call_22|a phone call]] in September 2009 that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris felt that he had found some form of real life [[Dating education|date ed]]. In reality, Chris came upon a class meant for couples who wanted to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to finding out how to get into one.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has virtually no common sense. Likewise, common sense being rather common, [[white knight|white knights]] and trolls alike are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. To put it bluntly, he doesn't get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering why exactly he doesn't get it. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to. Some white knights like [[Vivian Gee]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've moved on to becoming professional trolls.

===2015===
Chris makes mention of therapy in his video [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]] and reportedly also in his July 23 court hearing, although it's unclear whether he's talking about Rocky or a real therapist.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Autism papers]]
* [[Asperger's syndrome]]
* [[Dreams]]

===CWCki user essays===
These essays speculate about Chris's undiagnosed problems.

* [[User:Hayate666/narcissism]]
* [[User:Ronichu/Babble#Conspiracy Theories]]
* [[User:SandwichSonichu/Defense mechanisms]]

{{Chris and}}

Chris and mental healthcare

2016-01-05T22:19:38Z

EssentialAwakening: /* The problem(s) with Chris */

{{quote|My CURRENT [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] can help me a LOT better than any "professional" because [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] supports them as well.|Chris<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist in grade school while his screams were recorded (almost certainly a lie), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris has refused to see a psychologist in the past, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead. However, during his trial in [[July 2012]], he was ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment and evaluation. Only time will tell if this will finally force Chris to accept the help he needs, or ultimately accomplish nothing more than draining the remaining Chandlers' already minuscule funds.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
[[File:Picasso.jpg|thumb|400px|An insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]

===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia,<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself|Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]: '''Chris''': "I am a homophobe; I fear them all"</ref> and a victim of [[noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of girls having boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the [[trolls]]." (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22 (logic)|Catch-22]].)

It's no secret that Chris has always had a very childish mindset and views growing up as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|some sort of serious challenge,]] but it wasn't until a [[Kacey Call 10|conversation with Kacey]] that we knew just how serious this was; according to Chris, as a child, he never had any serious idea of what he wanted to be when he grew up (something all healthy children consider at one point or another), nor did the thought of becoming an adult ever truly cross his mind. This implies that Chris may have thought that he would remain a child forever.

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A [[Wikipedia:Cornell University|Cornell University]] [http://people.psych.cornell.edu/~dunning/publications/pdf/unskilledandunaware.pdf psychology journal] details this phenomenon:

{{quote|...when people are incompetent in [[Attraction Sign|the strategies they adopt]] to achieve success and [[China|satisfaction]], they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of [[Naïve|the ability to to realize it.]]|A disturbingly accurate account of Chris’s reaction to [[Chris and reality|reality]]}}

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at PVCC in [[2004]] echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received sometime in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend." He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment. Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

==Professional help?==
One of the most frustrating elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Borb]] think that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of straitjackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever had was a compulsory anger management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is Rocky Shoemaker, his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag #2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag #4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It is likely that he would be able to seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely, though, he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting [[PS3]] games, ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' or ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' DLC, and [[sex toys]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal [[Wikipedia:Medicaid|Medicaid]] or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May Chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered his noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he [[Vidya|has]], [[anime|better]] [[Kimmi|things]] to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are; regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a thirteen-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things; regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of fail, Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling ''other'' people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag #35]]</ref> Funnily enough, were Chris to ever see a psychologist, he or she would probably see this as classic [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection Freudian projection].

However, during the [[This is how the Trial went|fallout]] of the events which took place on [[28 October 2011|28 October]], Chris was sentenced to mandatory psychiatric treatment and evaluation. The results have yet to come, but given that he [[26 December 2014|pepper sprayed a man]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of a video game character's arms]] two whole years after starting this therapy, it's safe to say the treatment does not appear to be working.

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common.

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his stress and anger issues. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he had switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his 11th call with [[Kacey]] Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, it seems that Chris is still taking the same medication, only under a different appellation.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of a sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; if his current antidepressant is still Paroxetine (or at least another [[wikipedia:Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor|SSRI]]) then it might explain why it took him around 20 minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[Julie]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and [[biological clock|sedentary lifestyle]].

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh has experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===Psychiatric Papers===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point, Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary school years or sometime after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was ordered to take anger management classes.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional, and...well...he still can't control his anger. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris's that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===Rocky Shoemaker===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listens to '''anything''' she says.
#He misconstrues everything she says, accepting advice he likes and ignoring advice he doesn't like.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remains the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls. [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] from October 2009 and told [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey_Call_22|a phone call]] in September 2009 that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris felt that he had found some form of real life [[Dating education|date ed]]. In reality, Chris came upon a class meant for couples who wanted to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to finding out how to get into one.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has virtually no common sense. Likewise, common sense being rather common, [[white knight|white knights]] and trolls alike are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. To put it bluntly, he doesn't get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering why exactly he doesn't get it. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to. Some white knights like [[Vivian Gee]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've moved on to becoming professional trolls.

===2015===
Chris makes mention of therapy in his video [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]] and reportedly also in his July 23 court hearing, although it's unclear whether he's talking about Rocky or a real therapist.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Autism papers]]
* [[Asperger's syndrome]]
* [[Dreams]]

===CWCki user essays===
These essays speculate about Chris's undiagnosed problems.

* [[User:Hayate666/narcissism]]
* [[User:Ronichu/Babble#Conspiracy Theories]]
* [[User:SandwichSonichu/Defense mechanisms]]

{{Chris and}}

January 2016

2016-01-03T20:59:39Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Events of January */

Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!

2016-01-03T00:40:44Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Transcript */

'''Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!''' is a video Chris uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 11 [[November 2015]]. Intended as a sort of commercial for his homemade [[Amiibo]], the video quickly devolves into a sort of therapy session, as he vents his frustration with his [[autism]] and directs a stream of hatred toward his estranged half-siblings. Chris experiments with [[Wikipedia:Anaglyph 3D|Anaglyph 3D]] here.

==Description==
{{quotebox|Not only can you play with them in video games, but through the power of your minds and imagination. Toy to Life Figures are still Toys after all, and Can be Collected in All, and Played With.

Available Mainly through me, Christine Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], on Cwcville Shopping at Etsy.com.
}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hMt-xqtw744}}
| stardate = 11 [[November 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]]
| next = [[Donation Options Reviewed.]]
}}

==Transcript==
[''The video opens on a shot of a table full of Chris' homemade Amiibo, the hero figures on the left side, villains on the right. Music plays in the background.'']

Hello and good day. This is Christine Chandler coming to you live from [[14 Branchland Court|home]] once again, and I wanted to give y'all a little bit of a detail about something you can do, in addition to the [[Amiibo]] figures actually workin' on [[Nintendo]] 3DS and Wii U with their bonus functionality through the chips in the bottom. And not only do they have ''high'' collectability...between the good guys and the bad guys, more bad guys to come. I was hopin' that by the time I get to making that, I have a, a lot more...[[Jerkops]] and Janekops to fight! But that will be in a later ad that I will end up creating and, and animating and all that, like in the, like a traditional toy commercial. But anyway, uh, you forget one, don't forget one thing aside from be-, you don't have to have them for their Amiibo functionality...because they are very collectible; and as toys, you can still use your imagination and ''play'' with them. So it's like, you know, let's take an example of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], they're defending the city of [[Cwcville]] against the horde of [[Jerkops]] that came in. Jerkops and Janekops! And y'know, it's like they're practically outnumbered!
Like- [''Chris accidentally knocks over the Rosechu figure, then stands it up again'']

'''Sonichu:''' "C'mon Rosie, let's go zap these guys back to [[Count Graduon|Graduon]]!"

'''Rosechu:''' "Okay!"

[''Chris makes a series of zapping noises while manipulating the Rosechu figure towards the Janekop. Then he attempts "impact" sounds while manipulating the Janekop. He picks up the Rosechu, knocking over the Janekop and the Sonichu Amiibo. He quickly picks up Sonichu.'']

'''Sonichu:''' "You accidentally hit me!"

'''Rosechu:''' "I'm sorry."

'''Sonichu:''' "Alright, let's get another one!"

[''He smashes Sonichu into a Jerkop figure, attempting more zapping noises. The zapping devolves into fart-noises as he knocks over the Jerkop, then drops Sonichu onto the table'']

'''Sonichu:''' "Mega-kick!" [''Uses Sonichu to knock over another Jerkop'']

'''Rosechu:''' "Mach-punch!" [''Uses Rosechu to hit a Jerkop Amiibo'']

'''Sonichu:''' "And...Team Thunderbolt!"

[''Waves both figures over the "bad" Amiibo while making a prolonged fart noise'']

And this one is taken down...as the city is safe from another...herd [''he probably means "horde"''] of Jerkops and Janekops for a day!

[''Chris scoops up the fallen figures and moves them aside. He brings forward the [[Autism]] Amiibo'']
[[File:AutismamiiboB.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Autism Amiibo.]]

And let's talk about a moment about autism, the one that's always beatin' me on the brain! [''He moves a sword-wielding Amiibo representation of himself forward and picks up the Autism figure''] Uh, hey y'all, [''sighs''] you're always beatin' me up on the brain, you frickin' autism, ya- [''Picks up Autism figure, begins knocking it against the head of the Chris Amiibo''] I'm stuck with you everyday of my life and it frickin' bothers me! [''Knocks Chris figure over''] You always, you [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow me down in the head]] and lay me down, and I can't socialize as well! [''Picks up Chris figure, begins smashing Autism with it''] And not only that, but you bring me, you make [[Borb|my parents]] have to send me to all the...institutions, and all the things, and all the therapy and everything, makin' them waste a lot of money! That coulda been used for the betterment of the family and the household and actually payin' the bills and everything! Dang...gone...mental... condition, that messed up my brain for a lifetime! Electric Hedgehog Power!

[''Chris makes a wooshing noise as he removes the Chris figure and replaces it with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'']

And now I'm gonna thunder-punch you away! [''Repeatedly bashes Chris-Chain Sonichu into Autism while making fart noises''] Frickin' Autism! Yeah! [''Sets Chris-Chan Sonichu on the fallen Autism figure''] And I win against autism! [[Kick the Autistic|Kickin' it in da tush!]] [''Use Chris-Chan Sonichu to knock Autism out of frame.'']

And then of course, [''Chris moves the [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] Amiibo into center frame''] Graduon and Slaweel Ryam!

[''Picks up Sonichu and Rosechu for a split second, then puts them down''] I think we have the...[''Camera moves around, passes over what appears to be a Nintendo DS covered in stickers''] I think we have...another couple come in this time....

[''Camera shakes as Chris moves [[Wild]] and [[Simonla]] Rosechu Amiibo in front of Graduon and Mary'']

Wild and Simonla!

[''Chris manipulates Graduon'']

'''Graduon:''' [''deep, gravelly voice''] "Aha! So, you grass and wild types, you think you can tak-, stand our mag-, might and magic?"

[''Chris manipulates Mary Lee Walsh'']

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' [''falsetto''] "Yeah, our might and magic? 'Cause Graduon's still in the wand here!"

'''Graduon:''' "No I'm not! You broke the wand!"

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' "Yeah, you're right, Christine broke the wand."

'''Graduon:''' "Er, I tell you what...you're a very...daggone...nasty woman, and I never cared for your magic. You're just a hack!"

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' "Yeah, well, you know what? You're old!"

[''Chris takes Graduon and Mary in one hand and shuffles them against each other, all while making a series of odd, high-pitched "fight" noises. He shifts the camera toward Wild and Simonla'']

'''Wild:''' "We're confused...but let's take 'em out!"

[''Chris picks up Wild, moves it toward the villains while continuing his usual impact noises'']

'''Wild:''' "Vine-whip!"

[''Chris waves Wild around the two in a circular motion, while making an incomprehensible noise meant to indicate vines whipping around'']

'''Simonla:''' "Burrow in the ground!"

[''Chris holds Simonla's drill against the table while making motorboat sounds. The camera shakes around as he smashes Simonla into the fallen villains. Chris babbles fight "sound-effects." He sets Wild and Simonla upright.'']

[''Camera pans over table''] And think of all the extra fun you can have with the other heroes...and villains...available now and yet to come! So you can take down more of these bad guys. [''Camera lands on Jerkop Amiibo for a moment, then tilts up to Sonichu and Rosechu''] In the name of saving the day and the city of Cwcville!

And also help [''clattering as Chris tosses the Autism figure back into frame''] takin' down autism, so we don't ha-, so that's one less worry to worry about in life. And dollars will be donated for each sa-, uh, for sale for each of these Autism figures. They come in, they come in four colors. Each of which represents that little puzzle piece, and the primaries, plus green. [''waves around Chris Amiibo, knocks over Rosechu''] Oops. [''sets Rosechu upright, picks up Chris figure again'']

So, that's a little bit of the thing, that's definitely a fun thing you can do with the Amiibo fi-, with the collectible Sonichu and Rosechu figures...and me!
[[File:BobAmiibo.jpg|thumb|200px|right|[[Bob]] Amiibo.]]
[[File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|thumb|200px|right|[[Barb]] Amiibo.]]
[''Camera whip-pans over to two little Amiibo representing [[Barb]] and [[Bob]]'']

And my family! My family's the good people. [''Camera wobbles around a bit''] Except for...

[''Camera lands on the Jerkops, which are meant to represent Chris' half-siblings'']

'''Some'''. Except for '''some'''. Who could actually be more appreciative of the family they have actually...been lost within the past few years, and yet, the one that's still...

[''Camera whip-pans back over to his parents''] '''Alive'''.

[[File:Family Amiibo.jpg|thumb|250px|The bad family members.]]
[''Camera whip-pans onto a Jerkop Amiibo, which honestly resembles a hipster more than anything.'']

You hear that, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]? Come make amends with my mother, daggone it! [''Chris stress-sighs as he moves the Chris figure toward "Cole"''] Movie reviewer.

[''Chris reaches out and manipulates "Cole"'']

'''Cole:''' "I am not who you think I am. I have been possessed by Count Graduon, and I fight for him now! [''He makes "Cole" punch Chris with a "pff!" He picks his Amiibo self back up.'']

Yeah, well you look like my brother, so... [''knocks "Cole" over with another "pff!"''] take that!"

[''Chris makes his Amiibo self stab "Cole" repeatedly while making zapping noises. "Cole" is set upright once more.'']

'''Cole:''' "We rise...because we have the spirit of Graduon!"

[''Moves Graduon next to "Cole."'']

'''Graduon:''' "That's right! This body is under my control! ''Urr, hurr, hurr, hurr, hurr, hurrrrrr!''"

[''Moving "Cole" and Graduon out of frame, the camera lands on a three-shot of the Chris, Sonichu and Rosechu figures.'']

'''Graduon:''' "And we'll fight anoth-, we'll fight, day, another day, to defend the city...and help restore true love within the world and everything."

[''awkward pause'']

A much better commercial advertisement will be made in the future with more figures. [''camera passes over all of the Amiibo''] A whole lot...and more...to collect! Including the customizable Jerkops and Janekops. [''coughs''] And that's quite a few to collect, y'know, with one of, with one of each of the...uniform colors... [[Chris and racism|skin-tone colors]]...Sword-fighter...Gunner...and Brawler. And they come customizable with the, with your choice of either the...custom-made Mii, in the base...or a human-version figure like Mario, Luigi, villager, whatever. So, practically dime-a-dozen the, uh, Jerkops and Janekops, 'cause they're the pawns. [''moves Graduon into frame''] Of Graduon!

[''Moves Mary next to Graduon'']

'''Graduon:''' "I can't believe I was trapped in this wand!"

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' "Aw, shut up!"

[''Chris uses Mary to knock Graduon over, but picks up right back up'']

'''Graduon:''' "I don't think so! '''BRAAAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!'''

[''Makes Graduon hump the back of Mary Lee Walsh's head until she falls over. Chris picks up her up again.'']

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' "That's it, I'm probably gonna go work with the good guys." [''Moves Mary out of frame.'']

'''Graduon:''' "''Urr, hurr, hurr, hurrr, hurrr, hurrrrr''!!! We'll fight another day! And we'll get this city! And all true love will be destroyed and made illegal! ''Urr, hurr, hurr, hurrrrr''!!!"

[''awkward pause'']

'''Graduon:''' "''(sigh)'' Well, that's life." [''Moves Graduon out of frame.'']

[''Camera returns to three-shot of Chris, Sonichu and Rosechu.''] "We're the good guys, and we'll help restore goodness and everything! Collect us all!"

Thank you. Take a few weeks to make. Visit the Cwcville shopping shop on [[Etsy]].

==See Also==
* [[SonichuBabies]]
* [[A Sonichu Day]]
* [[PlayingHouse]]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Family Needs to appreciate Family]]|nextlink=[[Donation Options Reviewed.]]|}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!

2016-01-03T00:39:23Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Transcript */

'''Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!''' is a video Chris uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 11 [[November 2015]]. Intended as a sort of commercial for his homemade [[Amiibo]], the video quickly devolves into a sort of therapy session, as he vents his frustration with his [[autism]] and directs a stream of hatred toward his estranged half-siblings. Chris experiments with [[Wikipedia:Anaglyph 3D|Anaglyph 3D]] here.

==Description==
{{quotebox|Not only can you play with them in video games, but through the power of your minds and imagination. Toy to Life Figures are still Toys after all, and Can be Collected in All, and Played With.

Available Mainly through me, Christine Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], on Cwcville Shopping at Etsy.com.
}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hMt-xqtw744}}
| stardate = 11 [[November 2015]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]]
| next = [[Donation Options Reviewed.]]
}}

==Transcript==
[''The video opens on a shot of a table full of Chris' homemade Amiibo, the hero figures on the left side, villains on the right. Music plays in the background.'']

Hello and good day. This is Christine Chandler coming to you live from [[14 Branchland Court|home]] once again, and I wanted to give y'all a little bit of a detail about something you can do, in addition to the [[Amiibo]] figures actually workin' on [[Nintendo]] 3DS and Wii U with their bonus functionality through the chips in the bottom. And not only do they have ''high'' collectability...between the good guys and the bad guys, more bad guys to come. I was hopin' that by the time I get to making that, I have a, a lot more...[[Jerkops]] and Janekops to fight! But that will be in a later ad that I will end up creating and, and animating and all that, like in the, like a traditional toy commercial. But anyway, uh, you forget one, don't forget one thing aside from be-, you don't have to have them for their Amiibo functionality...because they are very collectible; and as toys, you can still use your imagination and ''play'' with them. So it's like, you know, let's take an example of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], they're defending the city of [[Cwcville]] against the horde of [[Jerkops]] that came in. Jerkops and Janekops! And y'know, it's like they're practically outnumbered!
Like- [''Chris accidentally knocks over the Rosechu figure, then stands it up again'']

'''Sonichu:''' "C'mon Rosie, let's go zap these guys back to [[Count Graduon|Graduon]]!"

'''Rosechu:''' "Okay!"

[''Chris makes a series of zapping noises while manipulating the Rosechu figure towards the Janekop. Then he attempts "impact" sounds while manipulating the Janekop. He picks up the Rosechu, knocking over the Janekop and the Sonichu Amiibo. He quickly picks up Sonichu.'']

'''Sonichu:''' "You accidentally hit me!"

'''Rosechu:''' "I'm sorry."

'''Sonichu:''' "Alright, let's get another one!"

[''He smashes Sonichu into a Jerkop figure, attempting more zapping noises. The zapping devolves into fart-noises as he knocks over the Jerkop, then drops Sonichu onto the table'']

'''Sonichu:''' "Mega-kick!" [''Uses Sonichu to knock over another Jerkop'']

'''Rosechu:''' "Mach-punch!" [''Uses Rosechu to hit a Jerkop Amiibo'']

'''Sonichu:''' "And...Team Thunderbolt!"

[''Waves both figures over the "bad" Amiibo while making a prolonged fart noise'']

And this one is taken down...as the city is safe from another...herd (''he probably means "horde"'') of Jerkops and Janekops for a day!

[''Chris scoops up the fallen figures and moves them aside. He brings forward the [[Autism]] Amiibo'']
[[File:AutismamiiboB.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Autism Amiibo.]]

And let's talk about a moment about autism, the one that's always beatin' me on the brain! [''He moves a sword-wielding Amiibo representation of himself forward and picks up the Autism figure''] Uh, hey y'all, [''sighs''] you're always beatin' me up on the brain, you frickin' autism, ya- [''Picks up Autism figure, begins knocking it against the head of the Chris Amiibo''] I'm stuck with you everyday of my life and it frickin' bothers me! [''Knocks Chris figure over''] You always, you [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow me down in the head]] and lay me down, and I can't socialize as well! [''Picks up Chris figure, begins smashing Autism with it''] And not only that, but you bring me, you make [[Borb|my parents]] have to send me to all the...institutions, and all the things, and all the therapy and everything, makin' them waste a lot of money! That coulda been used for the betterment of the family and the household and actually payin' the bills and everything! Dang...gone...mental... condition, that messed up my brain for a lifetime! Electric Hedgehog Power!

[''Chris makes a wooshing noise as he removes the Chris figure and replaces it with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'']

And now I'm gonna thunder-punch you away! [''Repeatedly bashes Chris-Chain Sonichu into Autism while making fart noises''] Frickin' Autism! Yeah! [''Sets Chris-Chan Sonichu on the fallen Autism figure''] And I win against autism! [[Kick the Autistic|Kickin' it in da tush!]] [''Use Chris-Chan Sonichu to knock Autism out of frame.'']

And then of course, [''Chris moves the [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] Amiibo into center frame''] Graduon and Slaweel Ryam!

[''Picks up Sonichu and Rosechu for a split second, then puts them down''] I think we have the...[''Camera moves around, passes over what appears to be a Nintendo DS covered in stickers''] I think we have...another couple come in this time....

[''Camera shakes as Chris moves [[Wild]] and [[Simonla]] Rosechu Amiibo in front of Graduon and Mary'']

Wild and Simonla!

[''Chris manipulates Graduon'']

'''Graduon:''' [''deep, gravelly voice''] "Aha! So, you grass and wild types, you think you can tak-, stand our mag-, might and magic?"

[''Chris manipulates Mary Lee Walsh'']

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' [''falsetto''] "Yeah, our might and magic? 'Cause Graduon's still in the wand here!"

'''Graduon:''' "No I'm not! You broke the wand!"

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' "Yeah, you're right, Christine broke the wand."

'''Graduon:''' "Er, I tell you what...you're a very...daggone...nasty woman, and I never cared for your magic. You're just a hack!"

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' "Yeah, well, you know what? You're old!"

[''Chris takes Graduon and Mary in one hand and shuffles them against each other, all while making a series of odd, high-pitched "fight" noises. He shifts the camera toward Wild and Simonla'']

'''Wild:''' "We're confused...but let's take 'em out!"

[''Chris picks up Wild, moves it toward the villains while continuing his usual impact noises'']

'''Wild:''' "Vine-whip!"

[''Chris waves Wild around the two in a circular motion, while making an incomprehensible noise meant to indicate vines whipping around'']

'''Simonla:''' "Burrow in the ground!"

[''Chris holds Simonla's drill against the table while making motorboat sounds. The camera shakes around as he smashes Simonla into the fallen villains. Chris babbles fight "sound-effects." He sets Wild and Simonla upright.'']

[''Camera pans over table''] And think of all the extra fun you can have with the other heroes...and villains...available now and yet to come! So you can take down more of these bad guys. [''Camera lands on Jerkop Amiibo for a moment, then tilts up to Sonichu and Rosechu''] In the name of saving the day and the city of Cwcville!

And also help [''clattering as Chris tosses the Autism figure back into frame''] takin' down autism, so we don't ha-, so that's one less worry to worry about in life. And dollars will be donated for each sa-, uh, for sale for each of these Autism figures. They come in, they come in four colors. Each of which represents that little puzzle piece, and the primaries, plus green. [''waves around Chris Amiibo, knocks over Rosechu''] Oops. [''sets Rosechu upright, picks up Chris figure again'']

So, that's a little bit of the thing, that's definitely a fun thing you can do with the Amiibo fi-, with the collectible Sonichu and Rosechu figures...and me!
[[File:BobAmiibo.jpg|thumb|200px|right|[[Bob]] Amiibo.]]
[[File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|thumb|200px|right|[[Barb]] Amiibo.]]
[''Camera whip-pans over to two little Amiibo representing [[Barb]] and [[Bob]]'']

And my family! My family's the good people. [''Camera wobbles around a bit''] Except for...

[''Camera lands on the Jerkops, which are meant to represent Chris' half-siblings'']

'''Some'''. Except for '''some'''. Who could actually be more appreciative of the family they have actually...been lost within the past few years, and yet, the one that's still...

[''Camera whip-pans back over to his parents''] '''Alive'''.

[[File:Family Amiibo.jpg|thumb|250px|The bad family members.]]
[''Camera whip-pans onto a Jerkop Amiibo, which honestly resembles a hipster more than anything.'']

You hear that, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]? Come make amends with my mother, daggone it! [''Chris stress-sighs as he moves the Chris figure toward "Cole"''] Movie reviewer.

[''Chris reaches out and manipulates "Cole"'']

'''Cole:''' "I am not who you think I am. I have been possessed by Count Graduon, and I fight for him now! [''He makes "Cole" punch Chris with a "pff!" He picks his Amiibo self back up.'']

Yeah, well you look like my brother, so... [''knocks "Cole" over with another "pff!"''] take that!"

[''Chris makes his Amiibo self stab "Cole" repeatedly while making zapping noises. "Cole" is set upright once more.'']

'''Cole:''' "We rise...because we have the spirit of Graduon!"

[''Moves Graduon next to "Cole."'']

'''Graduon:''' "That's right! This body is under my control! ''Urr, hurr, hurr, hurr, hurr, hurrrrrr!''"

[''Moving "Cole" and Graduon out of frame, the camera lands on a three-shot of the Chris, Sonichu and Rosechu figures.'']

'''Graduon:''' "And we'll fight anoth-, we'll fight, day, another day, to defend the city...and help restore true love within the world and everything."

[''awkward pause'']

A much better commercial advertisement will be made in the future with more figures. [''camera passes over all of the Amiibo''] A whole lot...and more...to collect! Including the customizable Jerkops and Janekops. [''coughs''] And that's quite a few to collect, y'know, with one of, with one of each of the...uniform colors... [[Chris and racism|skin-tone colors]]...Sword-fighter...Gunner...and Brawler. And they come customizable with the, with your choice of either the...custom-made Mii, in the base...or a human-version figure like Mario, Luigi, villager, whatever. So, practically dime-a-dozen the, uh, Jerkops and Janekops, 'cause they're the pawns. [''moves Graduon into frame''] Of Graduon!

[''Moves Mary next to Graduon'']

'''Graduon:''' "I can't believe I was trapped in this wand!"

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' "Aw, shut up!"

[''Chris uses Mary to knock Graduon over, but picks up right back up'']

'''Graduon:''' "I don't think so! '''BRAAAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!'''

[''Makes Graduon hump the back of Mary Lee Walsh's head until she falls over. Chris picks up her up again.'']

'''Mary Lee Walsh:''' "That's it, I'm probably gonna go work with the good guys." [''Moves Mary out of frame.'']

'''Graduon:''' "''Urr, hurr, hurr, hurrr, hurrr, hurrrrr''!!! We'll fight another day! And we'll get this city! And all true love will be destroyed and made illegal! ''Urr, hurr, hurr, hurrrrr''!!!"

[''awkward pause'']

'''Graduon:''' "''(sigh)'' Well, that's life." [''Moves Graduon out of frame.'']

[''Camera returns to three-shot of Chris, Sonichu and Rosechu.''] "We're the good guys, and we'll help restore goodness and everything! Collect us all!"

Thank you. Take a few weeks to make. Visit the Cwcville shopping shop on [[Etsy]].

==See Also==
* [[SonichuBabies]]
* [[A Sonichu Day]]
* [[PlayingHouse]]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Family Needs to appreciate Family]]|nextlink=[[Donation Options Reviewed.]]|}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Colin Chat 2

2016-01-02T23:30:50Z

EssentialAwakening: /* Chat */

'''Colin Chat 2''' covers a chat between [[Chris]] and [[troll|Colin]] on 12 October 2014, a day after the [[Colin Chat 1|previous chat]].

==Summary==

==Chat==
 [11:49 AM] '''Colin:''' What the fuck are you doing calling at 3:50 in the morning when [[Catherine|Catie]] and I are in bed. She's fucking pissed at you. You don't learn do you?
 [1:32 PM] '''Colin:''' Also, congrats. Catie knows your a racist now. She didn't appreciate the poo and the brown forehead remarks.
 [3:53 PM] '''Colin:''' And Catie knows that you're scared of me because you can't even respond to a simple text message. Deep down you know you're wrong you just can't admit it.
 [6:14 PM] '''Chris:''' Well, I beg your pardon, but I never promised You a rose garden. And [[niggos|I am not a racist]]. The things I was wrong about was disputing with you in texts at all yesterday. And you are still being rude to me, like a no good bully. You kept bothering me Friday Night when I was working on the [[medallions|medals]], doing MY Job. What "Job" do you have; Playboy Managerial at some Financial Company or something? You disgust me with your continuing insults upon me. And for your information, I pulled an all-nighter last night after I got back home finishing molding the remaining medals that I have to ship out. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a Lot of Painting, Certifying and Packaging to do Tonight.
 [6:20 PM] '''Colin:''' Bullshit. Those remarks were clearly meant to be racist. You're desperately backpedaling now because you know Catie is pissed at you.
 [6:21 PM] '''Chris:''' I am not racist. If I was, I would have literally said the "n" word to you, but I never used that word at all.
 [6:22 PM] '''Colin:''' And calling you out on your bullshit isn't bullying you. You're the one who's resorting to childish stupid insults. I'm just calling you our on your bs.
 [6:22 PM] '''Chris:''' You insulted me first by calling me yellow and chicken.
 [6:23 PM] '''Chris:''' and all of the other insults in the emails I've received from you before that.
 [6:24 PM] '''Colin:''' I'm just stating facts. You have shown yourself to be a coward. You hide behind your mother.
 [6:25 PM] '''Colin:''' You can't handle constructive criticism. And calling you a felon isn't an insult. You have a [[28 October 2011|criminal record]]. It's documented.
 [6:25 PM] '''Chris:''' I have not hidden behind [[Barb|my mother]]; I Told her about you and your actions and words; She wanted to tell you straight up, and all I did was help her in that.
 [6:27 PM] '''Colin:''' Bullshit. You never should have involved your mother at all. From what you've told me she comes to the rescue whenever you fuck up (and you fuck up a lot).
 [6:28 PM] '''Chris:''' It is documented, and the [[Jerkops|"Police"]] will say whatever They want on their "Report", and [[Snyder]] buttered them up to write down him being hurt by our UNMOVING VAN, from his own stubborn Stonewall Jackson action of Kicking out Bumper and Faking Falls, Twice. The van was NOT Moving; He did fake his falls. My mother and I were there, and she was behind the wheel.
 [6:28 PM] '''Chris:''' I come to my own rescue in fucking up.
 [6:29 PM] '''Chris:''' I chose to ignore your insults, because I did not want to stoop down to your level in a disputive argument with petty insults, but you had to keep pushing my buttons.
 [6:30 PM] '''Colin:''' No, not according to what you've told me. You run to your mother when things get too hard.
 [6:30 PM] '''Colin:''' I'm just trying to have an adult conversation with you. I'm not pushing your buttons. You're just thin skinned.
 [6:32 PM] '''Chris:''' [[Slow-in-the-mind|I do not have all of the details in my head sometimes]]; I only turn to her for Information; I do not let her talk or me, aside from what she had to say to you herself.
 [6:32 PM] '''Chris:''' And you're thick-headed.
 [6:32 PM] '''Colin:''' And you didn't have to explicitly use the 'n' word. Your remarks were obviously intended to be racist. Stop trying to bullshit me.
 [6:33 PM] '''Colin:''' There you go again. You resort to childish insults because you can't hold your own in a grown up conversation.
 [6:34 PM] '''Colin:''' I've got to ask. Are you doing this whole male lesbian thing because you have a tiny dick?
 [6:36 PM] '''Chris:''' I have respect for my black bros and sisters, but you Bro, have proven yourself to be a Terrible [[JERKS|Male]], and I have little respect for the majority of the whole Male population and their stereotypical behaviors and whatnot. I wish Catherine would realize that if you are being insulting to her Friend, me, as well as Another Friend, Shaina, by quoting her emails without her consent; SHE is pissed off at you as well... If Catherine understands that you insult her Friends, how long will it be before You turn on Her?
 [6:37 PM] '''Chris:''' My [[duck|Ugly Growth]] extends to up to Seven Inches Long, you uncaring, inconsiderate Male.
 [6:37 PM] '''Colin:''' So, do you have a tiny dick or what? Why else would you be ashamed of it?
 [6:39 PM] '''Colin:''' I'll take your silence as a yes. No wonder you're so bitter about other men.
 [6:40 PM] '''Chris:''' Did I not just tell you I am Seven Inches Long?! It is soo long, that I am literally able to stretch it Under my taint, and tuck it between my own ass cheeks, beyond my ass hole. With help, [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|I can literally even shove the head of the Ugly Growth Up Mine]]!
 [6:40 PM] '''Chris:''' I was typing, you asshole!
 [6:40 PM] '''Colin:''' You're not gonna get any lesbian lovin' though. A dick is still a dick, little or not.
 [6:41 PM] '''Colin:''' See, you resort to name calling when you know you're losing.
 [6:41 PM] '''Chris:''' I Hide It Very Well. Plus, I Actually have a Lesbian Woman Friend who felt Very Much Attracted to Me. I just might email her and ask her out for Pleasant Conversations, and maybe some Tribadism Afterwards.
 [6:42 PM] '''Chris:''' You are the loser with your Easy Money In Your Lap Lifestyle; you are NO Batman.
 [6:42 PM] '''Chris:''' Or Iron Man for that matter.
 [6:43 PM] '''Colin:''' You should do that. Let me know how it turns out. A tiny dick should be easy to hide if you don't move around too much.
 [6:44 PM] '''Colin:''' LOL at the childish insults. Is your lesbian friend real or another one of your delusions.
 [6:45 PM] '''Colin:''' Does your lesbian friend have a dick too? That should work out nicely.
 [6:46 PM] '''Chris:''' And what, you are going to exaggerate that yours is like a whole maximum thirteen inches long? She is very much real. We met at the LGBTQ center at [[UVA]]. A very smart and pretty woman.
 [6:46 PM] '''Chris:''' I am done talking to you; you keep insulting me. I will screen cap and forward all of your words to Shaina; let her tell you off some more. HMPF!
 [6:47 PM] '''Colin:''' You should find yourself another male lesbian.
 [6:48 PM] '''Colin:''' What is it with you and hiding behind women? Shaina is staying out of it. You have to learn to deal with me like an adult.
 [6:50 PM] '''Colin:''' Catie told Shaina to stay out of it. She expects us to work things out like two grown ups.

{{FanChats}}

[[Category: Chatlogs]]
[[Category: Catherine Saga]]

Chris and video games

2016-01-02T19:24:07Z

EssentialAwakening: /* What Chris plays */

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game, and then...move onto another! I can't master any of them.|A TV anchorwoman on a younger Chris winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].}}

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game console once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

In case you didn't know, [[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris almost definitely centers his life around and spends more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] and [[Chris and sex|give him her]] [[china]]. He [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he will admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[Autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. [[Chris and reality|Reality isn't quite as simple]], which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==
Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He first played video games on a Commodore 64 home computer. Before he was eight years old, he had a Game Boy and a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System, and he acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to [[The Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spider-Man]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly 700 different game titles across 19 different platforms.(He sold off roughly 100 games in various trips to GameStop and local pawn shops during the late summer and early fall of 2010, but that still leaves a hell of a lot to go.) He also maintained an account with the mail-order rental service GameFly until [[August 2010]].

[[Sony]] consoles dominate Chris's collection. Counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings [[Homos|up the rear]]. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console. However, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for--there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more grievous examples of Chris's video-game-related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty-dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, ''racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/], or 150 payments a year. This list includes useless shovelware, Virtual Console games, and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like.]] Of these, 276 purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles(''buying '''4''' DSs and DSi consoles''), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account (such as Skylanders figures, amiibos, and his Wii U Virtual Console purchases) are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. Apparently, his main attention and [[Nintendo Power Magazine|fanboyism]] has shifted from PlayStation back to Nintendo, for unknown reasons.

This leak also revealed that Chris plays almost every game demo available on the eShop, Nintendo's online downloadable video game store, even if he has no interest in said game. This leak also confirmed he had bought every single [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] game and primary [[Pokémon]] RPG, proving that he is still a major fanboy of [[Sonichu (comic)|both franchises]], and also confirmed that he still makes many purchases multiple times over for no apparent reason, such as of Wario's Woods.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available--what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around--Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene and indie productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned; while the game is an M-rated title with swearing, decapitations, heavy metal music and tricky real-time strategy elements, for most part the atmosphere is still jolly and humorous enough, and majority of gameplay consists of exploring the world and having straightforward beat-em up fights. Some have questioned whether or not Chris's interest in ''Brütal Legend'' was because of an affinity for director [[Wikipedia:Tim Schafer|Tim Schafer's]] other quirky, offbeat games such as ''[[Wikipedia:Psychonauts|Psychonauts]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Grim Fandango|Grim Fandango]]''. While Chris might be drawn to the perceived [[random-access humor]] of such games, more likely, they were too intelligent for him, and not mainstream enough. More likely, his interest in ''Brütal Legend'' was due to Jack Black providing the main character's voice, and possibly [[Chris and music|Chris's failed attempts to appear to be a connoisseur of music]].

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely-common or extremely-shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for ''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory'', except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning. This habit seems to be picked up from [[Barbara]], and continues to this day in the form of eShop shovelware and virtual console downloads.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

Despite being obsessed with Pokemon, he's not a hardcore Nintendo fan as some might suspect. He never seems to show interest in the latest content from Nintendo, and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (such as games from the ''Metroid'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Mario'' franchises) are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks.

However, a January 2014 leak by a Nintendo Employee revealed that Chris had, in fact, returned to his [[Nintendo|Nintendo]] roots, buying nearly every single game on the eShop.

He owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that [[Obesity|"Sports titles do not really thrill me,"]] although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. "Hardcore" games aimed at "adults" are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead. However, ever since his [[100 2357.MOV|sixth declaration that he has left the internet]] in late [[2010]], some more high-profile games aimed at adults have appeared on his PSN Trophy list (Such as ''Grand Theft Auto IV'' and ''Fallout: New Vegas''). Apparently the Hannah Montana PS3 game is no longer enough to fill his abundance of free time, and he's taken to playing games he wouldn't normally were he doing anything else with his life.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese Game Boy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe [[Megan Schroeder]] — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile and loathsome [[HEXBox]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Video games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a [[Chris's room|cave-dwelling]] autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the GameCube, stating that both forerunners to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. His feelings changed when he bought a PS1 at a "rummage sale" for cheap, intending to resell it elsewhere for profit, but instead played it and found it wasn't bad.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> One would expect this to be a lesson against nonsensical [[Chris and brand loyalty|brand loyalty]], but instead Chris just focused his hatred on Microsoft instead. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

Today, as of [[January 2015]], he is now a hardcore [[Nintendo]] fan at Sony's expense, as revealed by a recent leak by a TRUE AND HONEST [[Nintendo]] employee [http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/].

In typical fashion, Chris is ignorant of things he has chosen not to like. The only 360 game he seems to shown interest in, [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], seen in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] being modified for the PS3, was suggested to him by the fans. Though the game is just a crappy dating sim, and though there are other 360-exclusive games which would appeal to him, Chris claims that it's the only game worth playing on the 360.

Even slinging mud at the names of the consoles is very serious business to Chris. In [[Lars Call]], Chris says he doesn't like it when people call PS3 the "PS Triple", because that's what [[trolls]] call it. Of course, this comes from a man who [[Chris and hypocrisy|kept ranting about the "Hex Box"]].

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

In 2010 and afterward, two exceptions to this rule emerged. He did a good deal of online racing in ''ModNation Racers'' during the summer of 2010, while early in 2011, Chris began to show an interest in an online role-playing game for the first time, ''DC Universe Online''. His fondness for ModNation competition eventually passed, but it remains to be seen whether or not he'll develop a lasting interest in MMO gaming.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger syndrome]].

===Chris the trophy whore===
While Chris has little evident interest in directly interacting with other humans in online games, he does seem to enjoy building up a massive trophy case to passively show off in his PlayStation Network profile. He's doggedly played through a number of games in order to earn every available achievement, and on occasion he appeals to his [[fanbase]] for help in earning trophies. For instance, he begged readers of his [[Twitter]] feed to download his ''ModNation Racers'' levels so he could pick up one more trophy.

Slacker that he is, Chris prefers to put forth as little effort as possible to earn his trophies. Presented with a trophy in ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' that asked him to contribute a custom level to the game's online community, he fulfilled the requirement by uploading an empty level with no work put into it. (When this level was deleted by the community's administrators, he took the next-easiest route and uploaded his old levels made with the first ''LittleBigPlanet''.) In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he expressed great pleasure when the ''ModNation'' experience system was patched to make certain trophies easier to acquire.

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He might also own a copy of the first Lego Island game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure - which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)|Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the Game Boy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output hasn't shown too much actual competence, but it's not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply [[Collosal Chan|colossal]]. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Set Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts or personalizing small decals.

Likewise, as the gallery below displays, Chris enjoys customizing his game hardware. He's splattered Sonichu artwork all over his Gamecube, a Nintendo DS, a couple of Game Boy Advances, a PSP, his now-deceased original PS3, and possibly other consoles or handhelds. One of his [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers]] also appears to have received the Sonichu treatment, being repainted in blue and yellow.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games or video game consoles work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!"), even though he could easily check and see that he can't play his copy of Little Big Planet in his Wii, although he is either too lazy, or is afraid of having [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] raided by [[jerkop]]s.

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of. As stated in the survey of [[Chris and reality]], he once suggested that Nintendo should create a Poké Ball peripheral which could display holographs, of which we can only see in science fiction currently.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:Sonichugame.png
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's video games]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Club Nintendo]]
* [[Fandoms]]
* [[PlayStation 3]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Yellow-Shirted Foe

2016-01-02T17:34:47Z

EssentialAwakening:

{{quote|I’m very serious in this. Your lack of response has left me most upset! [[26 December 2014|My yellow-shirted foe!]] Mm! And you will lose business because of this!|[[Chris]] trying to blackmail someone he maced over a video game}}
{{clear}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | JERKS
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:yllwshrt.jpg]]
|-
! colspan="2" |''The Yellow-Shirted Foe, shortly before experiencing the fateful macing.''
|-
! colspan="2" |The Yellow-Shirted Foe
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| GameStop Assistant Manager
|-
|}

The Yellow-Shirted Foe, previously known as the [[Manajerk|Ass-Manager]], was an innocent GameStop employee doing his job on the fateful day of [[26 December 2014|December 26th 2014.]]
Likely tired after the festive period and looking forward to returning home to his loved ones, his day took a turn for the worse when a [[Chris|cross-dressing manchild]], previously banned for acts of vandalism sprayed him with pepper spray for no valid reason, causing immense pain and eye irritation. He was the sole victim of the attack on blue arms.

After Chris was taken to court and found guilty, his Yellow-Shirted Foe would come under scrutiny once more on [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers|November 29th 2015]] where it would be revealed that Chris blames him for his various bans and has decided to add him to his list of enemies.

Time will only tell what will become of the Yellow-Shirted Foe, if he will get back in contact with Chris, or if indeed Chris will try and force further contact with his assault victim.

==26 December 2014==
{{main|26 December 2014}}

The Yellow-Shirted Foe worked the Boxing Day Shift at a Game Stop in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where Chris was trespassing. Considering he had been banned for vandalizing store displays in the past, his Yellow-Shirted Foe was one of the employees to confront him and ordered him to leave.

When Chris put up argument, his Yellow-Shirted Foe left to fetch security and Chris retaliated by yelling out "DON'T CALL ANYBODY" and macing him as he passed by on his way out.
The Yellow-Shirted Foe would press charges and over the course of nearly a year, Chris attended various Court Hearings until October 15th when Chris would be found Guilty.

==29 November 2015==

Chris accuses his Yellow-Shirted Foe of holding a vendetta against him (which given the circumstances IS entirely plausible and understandable), and has encouraged his various bans.
Revealing a long-winded typical [[Apology Letters|Chris-Chan Apology]] in which he at one point attempts to blackmail his Yellow-Shirted Foe by making a baseless accusation that he is working several jobs and threatens to report him to the Better Business Bureau, Chris tells us the apology was ignored which ignites his wrath.

Chris goes further to accuse him of being bigoted towards the LGBT and Autistic community, never wondering if perhaps his Yellow-Shirted Foe himself is LGBT, or is on the Autistic Spectrum.
Content with his assumption, he urges his fans to boycott GameStop and various affiliates in protest against his Yellow-Shirted Foe's alleged discrimination.

Chris expects his apology to be accepted simply because he made the effort to make one at all.
Disregarding that his Yellow-Shirted Foe lost working time and money due to the incident, or the possibility he had been asthmatic or allergic, results could have been catastrophic.

User:EssentialAwakening

2016-01-01T16:05:23Z

EssentialAwakening: Created page with "I like Third Eye Blind."

I like [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Third Eye Blind]].

Talk:Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.

2016-01-01T16:03:11Z

EssentialAwakening:

==Acquisition==

How did Chris obtain the Oestrogel? Because if it's a prescription medication, there's no way he could've gotten it legally.....Maybe someone sent it to him? [[User:EssentialAwakening|EssentialAwakening]] ([[User talk:EssentialAwakening|talk]]) 16:03, 1 January 2016 (UTC)

Talk:Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.

2016-01-01T16:02:21Z

EssentialAwakening: Created page with "==Acquisition== How did Chris obtain the Oestrogel? Because if it's a prescription medication, there's no way he could've gotten it legally.....Maybe someone sent it to him?..."