https://sonichu.com/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=Esteemed+hamsCWCki - User contributions [en]2026-04-13T10:17:02ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.37.6https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Twitter&diff=256252Twitter2020-12-16T04:32:57Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
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{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
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{{quote|31.5 Thousand Followers; now down to 25,999. All that in a number of Hours repetitively hitting “Block” down the list with my stylus|Chris, on manually blocking thousands of [[Weens|Twitter followers]] as opposed to using a bot.}}<br />
[[Image:CWCTwitter_wiki_welcome.jpg|thumb|right|"'''Short''', '''timely''' messages from Christian W Chandler": Twitter marketing department's biggest inadvertent lie.]]<br />
[[File:Chris Twitter Profile Pic.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's Twitter profile pic prior to extensively roleplaying as Sonichu.]]<br />
<br />
'''[[Wikipedia:Twitter|Twitter]]''' is a popular social networking and microblogging service where people can post messages that are up to 280 (originally 140) characters in length. While it has its uses and has managed to last despite many criticisms, it is sometimes described as a pointless fad, and if even ''Chris'' called it a fad at one point, perhaps there is something to this claim. <br />
<br />
However, from 2016 onward, Chris became much more active on Twitter, to the point where it [[2017 tweets|became his primary means of communicating with]] [[Trolls|the public]]. He rarely posts on his [[YouTube]] channel like he used to; he now communicates through multi-part Twitter threads and image uploads instead. Chris often fails to understand why Twitter was designed the way it is. He acts as if Twitter is just a normal blog that inexplicably splits the messages into 280 character chunks for no reason. Whenever he goes off on a long text wall broken up between dozens of tweets, he ends most of them with a "..." when he has to finish a sentence between tweets. It's almost impossible to read his updates, which obviously makes following and replying to him hard.<br />
<br />
On 20 [[June 2013]] and 21 June 2013, hidden Twitter posts from 16 [[April 2012]] to 21 [[June 2013]], most of them linked to the [[Facebook]] [[2013 Imgur Leak]], and pictures from 20 [[June 2013]] were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].<br />
<br />
== Main accounts ==<br />
===CWCSonichu===<br />
[[File:CWCTwitter.jpg|thumb|right|As it was, in 2010.]]<br />
<br />
Chris was inspired to register his own Twitter account, ''CWCSonichu'',<ref>[http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu CWCSonichu]</ref> when the [[CWCipedia]] administrator insisted on adding a live [[Sonichu]] Twitter feed <ref>[http://twitter.com/#search?q=-RT%20sonichu]</ref> onto the CWCipedia [[Mailbag]] page, and later the CWCipedia front page. This feed picked up all mentions of the word "Sonichu" (hence Chris's use of the prefix "C.C. Sonichu says:"), to provide the loyal fanbase real-time coverage of their favorite comic and game hero and reactions to his weird antics from other fans. The CWCipedia sysop, in his infinite wisdom, elected to allow arbitrary, unmoderated comments from all fans to appear on the front page, to fully leverage the power of Web 2.0, user-created content, reader participation and all that modern nonsense.<br />
<br />
Careful readers may start to notice that there's a slight conflict in this: Chris had stated many times that he wanted to be in complete control over the CWCipedia. In a development that surprised no one, the live feed was promptly overrun by [[troll]]s. Chris was furious, and was compelled to write his own updates to drown out all of the [[homos|gay allegations]] and other [[pickle]]-related activity that was going on on his web page.<br />
<br />
However, as it is with all of the other things in this world, Chris's focus on Twitter waned over time. In [[May 2010]], the live Twitter feed was removed from CWCipedia, because apparently certain trolls failed to notice that Chris quit paying attention to his own web page and the activities of the trolls in the Twitter feed started to make Chris look positive in comparison. Chris stopped using the site in 2013 but picked up again in June 2016 and began tweeting more and more through the rest of 2016 and into 2017, to the point where he is more active on Twitter now than ever before.<br />
<br />
==== Subscriptions ====<br />
<br />
Chris originally followed 29 people and groups, all of them related to [[Video games|gaming]]. Among these are...<br />
<br />
* ''...relevant information on [[PS3|Life Upgrades]]:'' PlayStation, ps3fanboy, PS3_Trophies<br />
* ''...accounts related to [[LittleBigPlanet|the sweetest non-Chinese hobby of all]]:'' Media_Molecule, LittleBigPlanet [No longer subscribed as that account was suspended for some reason], LittleBIGFan, SackBoy4Pluto, Mm_Sackgirl<br />
* ''...respectable, reliable and impartial game journalists and media:'' Veronica <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[10 September 2009|Veronica Belmont]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>, Qore, GamesRadar, GameTrailers, gamespot, IGN, g4tv, GamePro, xplay, gamenewsps3 <nowiki>[G4]</nowiki>, gameinformer<br />
* ''...game houses which produce games that Chris may play, if properly baited away from LittleBigPlanet-related activities:'' Naughty_Dog, insomniacgames, SEGA, EA, Ubisoft, CriterionGames, NISAmerica <nowiki>[Nippon Ichi Software]</nowiki>, RockBand, namcogames<br />
* ''...[[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] sailing destinations:'' amazongames<br />
* ''...events which Chris doesn't attend:'' Official_PAX<br />
<br />
Notably, [[10 September 2009|Veronica Belmont]] (a video game show host and also, OMG, a woman) is the only real person among these subscriptions. This does wonders to dispel rumors that Chris is a living video game geek stereotype and hence beyond merely undateable.<br />
<br />
With Chris's resurgence of activity, he has followed over 600 accounts, many of them belonging to [[Chris and socialization#MLP voice actresses|minor celebrities]] and [[DoopieDoOver|internet personalities]] he attempts to interact with. Some accounts he formerly followed have since blocked Chris.<br />
<br />
====Blocks====<br />
{{see also|List of places that have banned Chris#Social media profiles|TF2 Analysis}}<br />
<br />
Chris has been blocked on Twitter by a number of accounts, including many he used to follow, preventing him from either tweeting at them or seeing their tweets. While some of this has come from people he follows discovering his personality flaws and history of poor online behavior, other blocks have been due to [[weens]] flocking to any account Chris shares from or responds to, spamming his convos with less than savory things and images of Chris's past.<br />
<br />
Though Chris has been periodically blocked by various people for several years, he reached his [[Twitter_blocks_from_TF2_Analysis_crew|breaking point]] in January 2019 when he was blocked by a number of individuals in the [[My Little Pony]] fandom in short succession, prompting many days of [[Apologies_to_the_liked_Bronies_and_Pegasisters;_PLEASE_UNBLOCK_ME_ON_TWITTER!|angry screeching]] and [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] against the trolls and the blockers themselves.<br />
<br />
This would not be the first notable incident where Chris threw a total fit from being blocked. When [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] blocked Chris for his creepy behavior, Chris blamed the trolls and weens, not realizing that his own actions was the main catalyst in Doopie cutting any sort of ties with him. From this incident, it is clear that two years later, Chris still cannot comprehend why someone would NOT want to talk to him. Given his [[Chris_and_his_Ego|historic inability to be told "no"]], it is likely that Chris will be continuing to receive more twitter [[List_of_places_that_have_banned_Chris|blocks]] in the future.<br />
<br />
===CPU_CWCSonichu===<br />
[[File:Cant see tweets 20190606 112642.jpg|thumb|right]]<br />
On 9 [[February 2019]], Chris began his move to a new Twitter account, @CPU_CWCSonichu, in an attempt to yet again bypass his blocks. Predictably, this was blocked within a day or two by all relevant bronies. After a few days of Twitter silence, Chris posted [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]] on both his old @CWCSonichu account and his new @CPU_CWCSonichu account, soon followed with an announcement the he was indeed abandoning the old account (with roughly 25,000 followers at this time, down from a peak of 31,000 after manually banning thousands of weens and trolls) and transferring his [[Weens|Twitter fanbase]] to the new @CPU_CWCSonichu account (just over 2,000 followers as of 17 February, and growing rapidly), noting that he "will be striving to contain Less Drama and any and all Haters and Harassers shall be Blocked Out, Period".<br />
<br />
Chris has yet to realize that [[Honor roll|protected Twitter accounts cannot be viewed by people who are not following him]]. He has made many tweets directed at people who will never see them, meaning that he is truly talking into the void. On 5 [[June 2019]], however, Chris responded to someone pointing this out to him. Chris said he knows this, but doesn't care, and still tags people. Currently, when Chris tweets something that he wants as many people as possible to see, he will ask readers to screencap his tweets and share them. He opened Direct Messaging on the 24th and removed the protection the next day.<br />
<br />
==Alt accounts==<br />
Since the discovery of the @NightStar2891 account, watchers have found a number of other accounts that appear to belong to Chris, such as the now-suspended @EquestriaHeart, characterized by their clearly unrealistic degree of ''Sonichu'' fandom, white knighting of Chris, and similar interests and behavior. However, it has become clear that they in fact belong to [[weens]] ''pretending'' to be Chris's sockpuppets.<br />
<br />
A related form of weenery involves impersonating Chris. While a few accounts such as [https://twitter.com/RealCWCSonichu @RealCWCSonichu] make some attempt to be convincing imposters, most, such as [https://twitter.com/liquidchu420 @liquidchu420] and [https://twitter.com/cw_true @cw_true], are clearly (unfunny) jokes and not intended to fool spectators. Chris, however, believes that these imposter accounts are responsible for his bad reputation that led to other users blocking him.<br />
<br />
===NightStar2891===<br />
{{main|Night Star#Twitter sockpuppet}}<br />
<br />
In August 2017, during the [[Doopie]] Saga, trolls discovered that Chris was operating an alternate account (or "sockpuppet") on Twitter, with the main purpose of [[White knight|supporting his main account]] in arguments with [[Ween|weens]], posing as a [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST fan]] of Chris and his work. The account, [[Night Star#Twitter sockpuppet|@NightStar2891]], assumed the persona of Chris's [[My Little Pony]] fan character, "(Miss) Night Star".<br />
<br />
Chris initially denied (on both accounts) any connection to "Night Star". However, as with his [[JenkinsJinkies]] account on [[Trollin Train]], even a [[slow-in-the-mind]] would be able to recognize Chris from the use of his [[Chris and English|distinctive writing style]], constant praise and defense of himself, location in [[Chris's homes|Virginia]], frequent assertions that he is [[Tomgirl|transgender]], following and retweeting of people he likes (such as Doopie and Tara Strong), borrowing of his original characters, and password-recovery [[emails]] matching Chris's known accounts. Of course, Chris [[Disguises|believes he is a master of disguise]] and believed he had successfully masked his identity under the secondary account.<br />
<br />
Later in August, Chris came clean and admitted he was behind NightStar8291, though he continues to use the account occasionally, particularly to try and contact people such as Doopie, Tabitha St. Germain, and [[LadyOfTheCosmo]] who have blocked Chris's main account.<br />
<br />
===TwiSparLicious===<br />
{{main|TwiSparLicious}}<br />
<br />
===MagiChan111448===<br />
{{see also|MagiChan111448 tweets}}<br />
<br />
[[File:MagiChan111448 recovery email.png|thumb|The recovery email on file matches IAMMRC@aol.com, [[Bob]]'s old email<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006]]</ref>, proving it to be Chris.]]<br />
<br />
On January 2019, another Twitter sock was discovered by trolls under the alias of [[Magi-Chan]], @MagiChan111448. It was confirmed to be created to continue following members of the brony community who have blocked Chris's main account, though Chris claims it was made for his [[Chris and reality|fictional]] friend and [[Polyamorous marriage|spouse]]:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|I personally helped make the account for him, and he stood with me and included his likes and wants for the page. He shall be personally making his tweets and commentary from there.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1088975955543117824</ref>}}<br />
<br />
The number 111448 is a reference to Magi-Chan's retconned birthdate (Nov. 14, 1948, which had been put in Chris's head by the [[Idea Guys]] the year before).<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1088982770595057664</ref><br />
<br />
==Leaks==<br />
Throughout 2018, Chris-Chan's [[Twitter]] account was hacked several times by an unknown individual who claimed to be associated with the Idea Guys. The reason why this is up for debate is because it seems more likely that they were being posted by [[Teen Troon Squad|Lukas of the Teen Troon Squad]], using the Idea Guys as a red herring. It's unknown how Boyd or Wise would have gained access to the account, as these leaks occurred long after they were taken out of power. The leak also included footage that was later leaked in full by Lukas onto [[/cow/]], making their involvement all the more likely.<br />
<br />
===November 2018===<br />
[[File:Screenshot-twitter.com-2018.11.18-16-23-55.png|thumb|200px|The [[November 2018]] [[All Star]] leak. Note that Stephen Boyd is said to live in Kentucky, the "Bluegrass" State.]]<br />
{{see also|All Star}}<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = For Shrek's Eyes Only<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|LZMB6TaxGZU}}<br />
| stardate = 21 [[April 2018]]<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}} {{Sex|text}}<br />
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}<br />
| shirt = <br />
| other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| previous = [[All Star#Singing All Star Part 1|All Star Part 1]]<br />
| next = [[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
The first leak, from 11 [[November 2018]], was a clip from his now infamous second rendition of [[All Star]] video in which he sings while [[mass debating]]. The tweet read: "This is how chris pays tribute to his lovers - The guy in the 'bluegras state'". This is an obvious allusion to the Idea Guys, as Boyd is said to live in the "Bluegrass" state Kentucky. The full video wouldn't be released, however, until 30 [[December 2018]].<br />
<br />
===December 2018===<br />
====Day 1====<br />
[[File:Suspiciouswhitestains.png|thumb|200px|Suspicious white stains can be seen covering Chris' bedside table.]]<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Tour of Chris's House III<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|T_z9dSypQi4}}<br />
| stardate = [[March 2018]] / Leaked 11 [[December 2018]]<br />
| subject = [[14 Branchland Court]]<br />
| style = <br />
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}<br />
| shirt = Not visible<br />
| other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| previous = [[December_2018_videos#Supportive_message_for_Gracie|Supportive Message for Gracie]]<br />
| next = [[December_2018_videos#Barb_confirms_she_isn.27t_dead|Barb confirms she isn't dead]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
The second leak, which occurred in [[December 2018|December]], took place over the span of two days. The first was a single tweet on 11 December 2018 at 1:27 P.M., releasing [[Tour of Chris's House III]]. It was posted with a troll-written description asking for $500, before being quickly deleted. [[Kiwi Farms]] quickly noted that based off a calendar seen in the video, it had been filmed in [[March 2018]]; when the [[Idea Guys]] were still in control.<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxred|Here is a SAMPLE of our House Tour 2018!<br />
<br />
If I can receive donations in EXCESS of $500 I will post the ENTIRE VIDEO!<br />
<br />
Please think of my [[Barbara Chandler|Feeble Mother]] and I this Holiday Season.<ref>http://archive.li/x9iHp</ref>}}<br />
<br />
====Day 2====<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Chris slaps himself<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6hpYnKB2hn0}}<br />
| stardate = Unknown<br />
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}<br />
| Other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| }}<br />
<br />
<br />
The second half occurred on 12 December, this time in the form of a three-part tweet chain. Two of the videos in the thread had already been released: one from [[The Bad Beginning|the Bad Beginning of Chris apologizing to Gwen]], and another of [[April_2018_Paid_Video_Requests#A_few_seconds_of_Barb_dancing|Barbara stiffly dancing for the camera]]. The only unseen video from this chain was a clip of [[Chris slaps himself|Chris slapping himself to tears]], as described by [[Idea Guys#Extortion|Null in July]]. Regardless of who actually leaked it, Chris himself believed this to be the work of Boyd and Wise, subsequently calling them out by name in a tweet afterwards.<br />
<br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:DecemberLeaks2018.jpg|The [[December 2018]] leaks.<br />
File:ReactiontoNovember2018Hack.png|Chris' reaction to the [[December 2018]] leak, directly accusing the Idea Guys.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
== Gallery ==<br />
<center><br />
<gallery><br />
File:Chris Twitter Profile Banner.jpg|Chris's profile banner as of 2020.<br />
File:Twitter20June201301.png|CUTE!<br />
File:Twitter20June201302.png|(My life would be complete if) I had a girlfriend.<br />
File:Twitter20June201301High.jpg<br />
Image:Twitter20June201302High.jpg<br />
File:ColeVSChrisTwitter.png|Chris complains to [[Cole Smithey]].<br />
File:ChrisTwitterProfileFeb2019.jpg|Chris's last profile pic for his CWCSonichu account.<br />
</gallery><br />
</center><br />
<br />
== Fanart as seen on twitter ==<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
* [http://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu Chris's Official and Originial Microblog]<br />
* [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Older Twitter account]<br />
* [http://twitter.com/#search?q=-RT%20sonichu Live feed]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Social media}}<br />
{{The Internet}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris's websites]]<br />
[[Category:Twitter|*]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams/sandbox&diff=256251User:Esteemed hams/sandbox2020-12-16T04:31:24Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div><br />
== Why? ==<br />
Because I want to be able to plan my work out without publishing it first.<br />
<br />
==Alcohol==<br />
Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary, but may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Death|problems]] in the near future.<br />
<br />
== Florianne's [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|IMG 0176]] Transcript (eventually fixed by User:Byzantine) ==<br />
<br />
hello this is<br />
hello this is sanchu in the body of<br />
mama christine weston chandler sonichu<br />
okay chris chancellor<br />
anyway i'm recording this as a video<br />
will<br />
with my wife rosie rose tuesday next to<br />
me for any<br />
for in the event anything happens to me<br />
and this one body that belongs to mama<br />
chris chan<br />
anything happens including a very likely<br />
just<br />
vanish from this dimension this body in<br />
me<br />
and this house gets left behind and<br />
anything else that happens to the<br />
transport in this timeline before the<br />
timeline changes<br />
i wish to hereby bequeath<br />
all my remaining percent all of the<br />
remaining possessions between mine<br />
and mamas that are in in their this<br />
household<br />
and within the area of this temple i<br />
relinquish all i will relinquish all<br />
that<br />
to megan kathleen<br />
ringo who lives in the state of<br />
washington<br />
so simply i simply have to be sure to<br />
come over to come<br />
to help sort things out and<br />
she and if she feels like it she can<br />
move in and help<br />
as well but that's a whole other thing<br />
that's a fan going good click click like<br />
the air conditioner just died out<br />
so i have to take that as a sign<br />
uh anyway aside from that um also<br />
on another note<br />
that set but i would also<br />
like to also help out around the house<br />
who lives here in the state of virginia<br />
one kevin fairchild who lives in<br />
fisherfield<br />
i'd like him to<br />
barbara you're gonna let him move in you<br />
gotta let him move in<br />
you're gonna help you with any remaining<br />
things and artifacts within this house<br />
and megan you'll have to work with him<br />
as well<br />
he's very genuine very kind i believe<br />
you both will get along very well<br />
and this will definitely work out<br />
because you know me<br />
i'm going into c197<br />
our alternate dimension and i'm gonna<br />
end up uh<br />
02:38<br />
powering up this body unlocking it's all<br />
of its alternate forms and everything<br />
i you know me i'm a little bit this<br />
brain is so disorganized so<br />
by language is not exactly syncing up at<br />
times<br />
but yeah anyway everything goes to<br />
everything if chris everything of mine<br />
and<br />
christine weston chandler sanchez<br />
they go to megan kathleen ringo<br />
and i want<br />
kevin fairchild to come and move in as<br />
well<br />
because barbara's gonna need as much<br />
help as possible on the event that this<br />
house this temple just<br />
stays behind while if the event that i<br />
just suddenly vanish without this house<br />
and leaving it and everything else<br />
behind<br />
and in that case also uh being obvious<br />
this body would not stand back because<br />
it's one and only it's<br />
one and only the eyes linked to this one<br />
brain<br />
if you only knew camera zero zero zero<br />
now everybody else the true first person<br />
perspective<br />
so many things in my mind so please for<br />
me if i seem a little bit erratic but<br />
this is my last video will and testament<br />
on behalf of christine weston chandler<br />
sanchez<br />
was born as christopher weston chandler<br />
to barbara and robert chandler in this<br />
dimension<br />
in this timeline i'll leave y'all with<br />
that<br />
and the attorney who will handle the<br />
case and all that and helping<br />
them at all or anybody else helping them<br />
get situated with the situation and all<br />
that so<br />
thank you<br />
<br />
== Sonichu 14 ==<br />
Just like Sonichu 14, this comic is accompanied with large walls of expository text surrounding sparse drawings on each page. Whether or not Chris intends to make the comic [[Chris and Writing|easier to read]] by doing so is questionable.<br />
<br />
== {{Fanart}} ==</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Pedofork&diff=255294Pedofork2020-11-20T00:59:07Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Protip|Twitter DM screenshots created by a ween who is trying to incriminate Chris have circulated on Twitter. They are not real.}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I am not a pedofork, you DORKS!!!|[[CWC's Second Message]]}}<br />
<br />
A '''pedofork''' ([ˈpɛdofɔrk]), a portmanteau of "{{w|pedophile}}" and "dork", is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s term for a '''pedophile''' (''pædophile'' to non-Americans), child molester or anyone else with some sort of sexual interest in the underage. This term was coined in his "[[CWC's Second Message|Madman Rising]]" video in response to [[trolls]] comparing Chris to "[[Bob Chandler|that senile old man]] in ''[[Family Guy]]''", known to the rest of the world as {{w|List of characters in Family Guy#Herbert|Herbert the Pervert}}.<br />
<br />
Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first overreactions to [[trolls]] and an early step towards becoming a lolcow. Chris has subsequently tried to remove or [[retcon]] out details or themes that could be viewed as borderline or outright pedophilia from his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, although, with Chris's tendency to be very [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]], some things still manage to remain. <br />
<br />
[[File:Cwc shadman like.png|thumb|200px|An image by Shadman that Chris liked.]]<br />
[[File:Pedo2.png|thumb|200px|How Chris sees sex in C-197.]]<br />
<br />
At first glance, Chris appears to rigidly adhere to child sex laws; as the age of consent in Virginia is eighteen, Chris makes it clear when advertising himself for his [[Love Quest]] that all potential [[sweethearts]] must be no younger than eighteen (and no older than he is at the time). However, it's likely that Chris doesn't understand ''why'' these laws actually exist and may see them as deterrents in his Quest, in the same vein as [[jerkop]]s and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. This is evidenced by a scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], when the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] decide to strip for [[women's rights]]. Fourteen-year-old [[Zapina]] asks if she can join contribute to the naked bouncy giggly protesting fun, but [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] tells her no, adding in disappointment that she can't because of her age. When Zapina offers to be a spotlight instead, Rosechu hesitates, citing "the dumb laws". It is unclear whether this refers to the same laws that bar Zapina from stripping or the ones against exposing yourself in the presence of a minor. Either way, it seems odd that a self-proclaimed feminist would be annoyed with laws that protect young girls from being manipulated into sexual relationships, but Chris likely doesn't understand this.<br />
<br />
Two more items of note: Joe Weston, Chris' own grandfather, was a pedofork (at age 30, he married [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]]'s mother, who was half his age), and Chris himself used to wear [[pedo-glasses]].<br />
<br />
In September 2017, Chris followed artist Shadman on Twitter.<ref>[https://archive.fo/aPQNB Chris's Follow list from that month]</ref> Shadman, the pseudonym of Swiss artist Shaddai Prejean, is notorious for his horrifying fetish art, including explicit drawings depicting real-life underage children.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/shaedbase-shaedman-shaddai-shadman-prejean.17065/</ref> Chris said that he had followed the account because one of his [[Trolls|fans]] had directed him to Shadbase and claimed that he had drawn a piece of fanart Chris liked, and that he was unaware of Shadman's reputation.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-347#post-2649620</ref> However, Chris did not remove Shadbase from his follow list, and in October, he liked a drawing of a young girl posted by the account.<br />
<br />
On 2 February 2018, [[Kiwi Farms]] user [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] revealed a conversation which the [[Idea Guys]] and Chris had. In this particular conversation, Chris went into explicit detail about how he would have sex with Blanc, an underage character from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.<br />
<br />
Chris also feels the need to talk about the sexuality of Sonichu and Rosechu's children – all three of them are underage, being 11–12 years old as of 2018. He has drawn Roberta (Robbie) Sonichu having sex with Mimi Rosechu while wearing a strap-on to hide the [[duck|ugly growth]] and rubbing the space between his legs with the [[china|genitals]] of Mimi... Robbie is canonically 11. [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Set2Pic4.jpg In this image], his canon age was seven.<br />
<br />
[[File:CHASE VARIANT Chris Chan Autograph Card Pickle And BadBear.jpg|thumb|Autograph card sold by Chris in [[August 2018]], featuring a Pedobear.]]<br />
<br />
Chris also mentions how the other two children, Cerah and Christine, are lesbian and bisexual respectively. He makes mention of Cerah finding "true love" in a female partner (and we all know what [[sex|that means]]), and Christine being "turned on" by both males and females (at the time Chris wrote this, Christine was canonically 8). Both sisters are canonically 12 as of 2018.<br />
<br />
Whether or not their evolved forms are meant to be their "adult" stages is unknown. Seeing how they still go to school, they are still children.<br />
<br />
The [[Idea Guys]] tricked Chris into believing that he was a pedophile. According to a member of the [[Guard Dogs]]:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|Well, and [the Idea Guys] also extracted blackmail material from [Chris], like making him "admit" to being a pedophile [...] (Like they were like "well, I mean, you thought your classmates were hot when you were in [[high school]], right?? so you found a minor attractive! therefore you're a pedo! QED")<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/post-4610502</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In addition, [[Cryzel Rosechu]], a fictional character Chris was led to believe he was married to, was created by the Idea Guys and her age was given as 15 years old.<br />
<br />
On 15 July 2020, [[Chris]] tweeted a creepy and sexual remark to a twitter artist named Christine Usagi(@Fluffy_TG). After Fluffy asked Chris through [[Twitter]] how old he thought she was, Chris replied in his Sonichu persona thinking he was "roughly veering on 18 or 21; entering young adulthood, and cute enough to still get away at times." (it's currently unknown what he meant by that last part). After the creepy reply, Fluffy_TG blocked Chris. <br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chris and sex]]<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Pedofork&diff=255293Pedofork2020-11-20T00:57:16Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Protip|Twitter DM screenshots created by a ween who is trying to incriminate Chris have circulated on Twitter. They are not real.}}<br />
{{Honest}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|I am not a pedofork, you DORKS!!!|[[CWC's Second Message]]}}<br />
<br />
A '''pedofork''' ([ˈpɛdofɔrk]), a portmanteau of "{{w|pedophile}}" and "dork", is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s term for a '''pedophile''' (''pædophile'' to non-Americans), child molester or anyone else with some sort of sexual interest in the underage. This term was coined in his "[[CWC's Second Message|Madman Rising]]" video in response to [[trolls]] comparing Chris to "[[Bob Chandler|that senile old man]] in ''[[Family Guy]]''", known to the rest of the world as {{w|List of characters in Family Guy#Herbert|Herbert the Pervert}}.<br />
<br />
Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first overreactions to [[trolls]] and an early step towards becoming a lolcow. Chris has subsequently tried to remove or [[retcon]] out details or themes that could be viewed as borderline or outright pedophilia from his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, although, with Chris's tendency to be very [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]], some things still manage to remain. <br />
<br />
[[File:Cwc shadman like.png|thumb|200px|An image by Shadman that Chris liked.]]<br />
[[File:Pedo2.png|thumb|200px|How Chris sees sex in C-218.]]<br />
<br />
At first glance, Chris appears to rigidly adhere to child sex laws; as the age of consent in Virginia is eighteen, Chris makes it clear when advertising himself for his [[Love Quest]] that all potential [[sweethearts]] must be no younger than eighteen (and no older than he is at the time). However, it's likely that Chris doesn't understand ''why'' these laws actually exist and may see them as deterrents in his Quest, in the same vein as [[jerkop]]s and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. This is evidenced by a scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], when the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] decide to strip for [[women's rights]]. Fourteen-year-old [[Zapina]] asks if she can join contribute to the naked bouncy giggly protesting fun, but [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] tells her no, adding in disappointment that she can't because of her age. When Zapina offers to be a spotlight instead, Rosechu hesitates, citing "the dumb laws". It is unclear whether this refers to the same laws that bar Zapina from stripping or the ones against exposing yourself in the presence of a minor. Either way, it seems odd that a self-proclaimed feminist would be annoyed with laws that protect young girls from being manipulated into sexual relationships, but Chris likely doesn't understand this.<br />
<br />
Two more items of note: Joe Weston, Chris' own grandfather, was a pedofork (at age 30, he married [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]]'s mother, who was half his age), and Chris himself used to wear [[pedo-glasses]].<br />
<br />
In September 2017, Chris followed artist Shadman on Twitter.<ref>[https://archive.fo/aPQNB Chris's Follow list from that month]</ref> Shadman, the pseudonym of Swiss artist Shaddai Prejean, is notorious for his horrifying fetish art, including explicit drawings depicting real-life underage children.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/shaedbase-shaedman-shaddai-shadman-prejean.17065/</ref> Chris said that he had followed the account because one of his [[Trolls|fans]] had directed him to Shadbase and claimed that he had drawn a piece of fanart Chris liked, and that he was unaware of Shadman's reputation.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-347#post-2649620</ref> However, Chris did not remove Shadbase from his follow list, and in October, he liked a drawing of a young girl posted by the account.<br />
<br />
On 2 February 2018, [[Kiwi Farms]] user [[User:Hurtful Truth Level|Hurtful Truth Level]] revealed a conversation which the [[Idea Guys]] and Chris had. In this particular conversation, Chris went into explicit detail about how he would have sex with Blanc, an underage character from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.<br />
<br />
Chris also feels the need to talk about the sexuality of Sonichu and Rosechu's children – all three of them are underage, being 11–12 years old as of 2018. He has drawn Roberta (Robbie) Sonichu having sex with Mimi Rosechu while wearing a strap-on to hide the [[duck|ugly growth]] and rubbing the space between his legs with the [[china|genitals]] of Mimi... Robbie is canonically 11. [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Set2Pic4.jpg In this image], his canon age was seven.<br />
<br />
[[File:CHASE VARIANT Chris Chan Autograph Card Pickle And BadBear.jpg|thumb|Autograph card sold by Chris in [[August 2018]], featuring a Pedobear.]]<br />
<br />
Chris also mentions how the other two children, Cerah and Christine, are lesbian and bisexual respectively. He makes mention of Cerah finding "true love" in a female partner (and we all know what [[sex|that means]]), and Christine being "turned on" by both males and females (at the time Chris wrote this, Christine was canonically 8). Both sisters are canonically 12 as of 2018.<br />
<br />
Whether or not their evolved forms are meant to be their "adult" stages is unknown. Seeing how they still go to school, they are still children.<br />
<br />
The [[Idea Guys]] tricked Chris into believing that he was a pedophile. According to a member of the [[Guard Dogs]]:<br />
<br />
{{quoteboxgreen|Well, and [the Idea Guys] also extracted blackmail material from [Chris], like making him "admit" to being a pedophile [...] (Like they were like "well, I mean, you thought your classmates were hot when you were in [[high school]], right?? so you found a minor attractive! therefore you're a pedo! QED")<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/post-4610502</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In addition, [[Cryzel Rosechu]], a fictional character Chris was led to believe he was married to, was created by the Idea Guys and her age was given as 15 years old.<br />
<br />
On 15 July 2020, [[Chris]] tweeted a creepy and sexual remark to a twitter artist named Christine Usagi(@Fluffy_TG). After Fluffy asked Chris through [[Twitter]] how old he thought she was, Chris replied in his Sonichu persona thinking he was "roughly veering on 18 or 21; entering young adulthood, and cute enough to still get away at times." (it's currently unknown what he meant by that last part). After the creepy reply, Fluffy_TG blocked Chris. <br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Chris and sex]]<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=File:Pedo2.png&diff=255292File:Pedo2.png2020-11-20T00:55:37Z<p>Esteemed hams: It is what it is</p>
<hr />
<div>== Summary ==<br />
It is what it is</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=All_Star&diff=251802All Star2020-09-02T08:34:00Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Singing All Star (Sex Tape version) */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Honest}}<br />
[[File:Screenshot-twitter.com-2018.11.18-16-23-55.png|thumb|right|"''Well, the years start coming and they don't stop [[Semen|coming]].''"]]<br />
"'''[[Wikipedia:All Star (song)|All Star]]'''" is a [[1999]] song by [[wikipedia:Smash Mouth|Smash Mouth]]. Widely known as the opening theme of the animated film ''[[Shrek Retold|Shrek]]'', the song has since entered internet meme culture in the last decade thanks to [[Idea Guys|Millennials]] and [[Teen Troon Squad|Zoomers]]. During the "[[Cryzel Torture]]" chat of 21 [[April 2018]], [[Chris]] uploaded two covers of "All Star" to the [[Idea Guys]] via Discord.<br />
<br />
Having gained Chris' consent to use his Discord account to aid in the conflict against the Idea Guys, [[Kiwi Farms]] owner [[Null]] leaked the SFW version on 13 July.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/cryzel-torture.45450/</ref> Later that year on 18 [[November 2018]], a troll impersonating [[Magi-Chan]], presumably one of the [[Teen Troon Squad]], leaked the second, [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] rendition with Chris [[mass debating]] to Chris' <span class="plainlinks">[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter Twitter]. The tweet was deleted minutes later, but the video was quickly preserved by Christorians.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-18-chriss-twitter-posts-a-video-of-him-jacking-off.50093/</ref> More parts of video would be leaked by Lukas Sampson, the ringleader of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] onto [[/cow/]] on 31 [[December 2018]].<ref>Videos were leaked at https://8ch.net/cow/res/687691.html#689605 and a Teen Troon Squad member posted at https://8ch.net/cow/res/687691.html#689633</ref><br />
<br />
Notably, Chris sings in the same growling voice that he used to indicate he was singing under duress way back in [[It's UGH!]] (2009).<br />
<br />
==Singing All Star (SFW version)==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Chris-Chan Sings All Star<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8Jwt2_q19Iw}}<br />
| stardate = 21 [[April 2018]]<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}}<br />
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}<br />
| shirt = <br />
| other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Chris pleads to stop Cryzel Torture]]<br />
| next = [[All Star#Singing All Star Part 2|All Star Part 2]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
<br />
|Transcript|<br />
<br />
[''Chris makes a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|constipated grunt]] and the camera briefly gains a green tint. He begins [[Honor roll|reading the lyrics from his phone]] in a similar constipated low growl, his tone severely fluctuating, and gesticulating wildly.'']<br />
Some-BODY once told me,<br />
<br />
the WORLD is gonna ROLL ME!<br />
<br />
I ain't the sharpest [''voice drops to guttural croak''] torl in the sheeeed!<br />
<br />
She was looking [''Chris gives up on following the melody''] kinda ''dumb''<br />
<br />
[''Mimes along with the next two lines''] With her ''finger'' and her ''thumb'' <br />
<br />
In the shape of an L, on her foreheeead!<br />
<br />
<br />
[''Remembers the melody again''] Well... the years start comin'<br />
<br />
And they don't [[Chris and English|starp]] comin'<br />
<br />
Feh to the rules and they [[TooManyGames|hit the ground]] runnin'<br />
<br />
It dudn't make sense not to live for fun<br />
<br />
[''High growl, slurred''] Y'brain gets [[Honor roll|smart]] [''Low growl''] but yer head gets dumb<br />
<br />
<br />
So much to do, so much to see,<br />
<br />
So what's wrong with takin' the backstre'<br />
<br />
You'll never know if you don't go<br />
<br />
You'll never shine if you don't GLOW<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey know, you're an all star<br />
<br />
Get your game on, go bleh<br />
<br />
Hurr nurr, yer a ruckstar<br />
<br />
Get the show on, get beh<br />
<br />
[''Shakes his phone''] ''And all that glitters is gooold''<br />
<br />
Only shootin' ''STUURS'' break the ''[[14 Branchland Court|mooold?]]''<br />
<br />
<br />
It's a col' place, and they say i'gets col'er<br />
<br />
Yer bun'led up now until y'ge' ol'er<br />
<br />
The me'eor men beg t'differ<br />
<br />
Judgin' by the hole in their satellite picture<br />
<br />
The ice ge' thay, [''gibberish as he loses his place''] w'er w'er w'er... [''small groan'']<br />
<br />
[''Picks up the tempo''] W'er's ge'in warm so ya might as well ''swim!''<br />
<br />
My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?<br />
<br />
That's the way I like it, I'll never get bore'<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're an all star<br />
<br />
Getcher game on, go blay<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're a rockstar<br />
<br />
Get the show on, get beh<br />
<br />
[''Begins shaking his phone''] An' all that gli'ers is ''gooold!''<br />
<br />
Only shootin' ''staaars breeeak'' the ''mooold!''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
[''Almost 20 seconds of growling, warbling and Hulk Hogan-like arm shaking'']<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're an all star<br />
<br />
Getcher game on, go blay<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're a rockstar<br />
<br />
Get yer show on, get bleh<br />
<br />
[''Poses with arms out and head low''] An' ''ALL'' that gli'ers is ''GOOOL'''<br />
<br />
[''Another brief growl solo'']<br />
<br />
Only shootin' ''staaaaaaars...''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Some''bo''dy once-- [''[[Speech Impediment|Unintelligible]]'']<br />
<br />
[[Ohio trip|Spare some change for gas, I need to get away from]]<br />
<br />
Self away from this ''place''<br />
<br />
[''Growls'']<br />
<br />
I sai', "Yup... ''WHA' CONCE'!''<br />
<br />
I could use lotta fuel myself!<br />
<br />
An' we could all use a little [''Leaning towards the camera''] ''chaaange!''"<br />
<br />
[''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Rising growl]]'']<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Well, the years start comin'<br />
<br />
And they don't stop comin'<br />
<br />
I feh to the rules an' I hit the ground ruh<br />
<br />
Di'n' make sense not to live for fun<br />
<br />
Yer brain gets smart but yer head gets dumb<br />
<br />
''So much'' to do, so much t'see<br />
<br />
So what's wrong with takin' the backstre'<br />
<br />
Ya never know if you don't go. [''Lurches towards the camera''] '''''GUH-OOH!'''''<br />
<br />
Ya never knuh if ya don't [''Lurches again, but less intensely''] ''glow''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're an ahrl star<br />
<br />
Get the game on, go blay<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're a wock star<br />
<br />
Get the show on, [[Monthly Tugboat|get pay]]<br />
<br />
An' all that gli'ers is ''goool'!''<br />
<br />
[''Growls'']<br />
<br />
Only shootin' stars break the mol'?<br />
<br />
An' ''all'' that gli'ers is gold<br />
<br />
Only shoo'in' stars, break the frickin' ''moooold!''<br />
<br />
[''Chris groans constipatedly one more time, picks up the camera, spins around and punches it to the ground.'']}}<br />
<br />
==Singing All Star (Sex Tape version)==<br />
{{Collapsible|Chris pisses on the floor in a corner of his [[bedroom]], then masturbates while fantasizing about [[Magi-Chan]] (extremely NSFW).|<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = For Shrek's Eyes Only<br />
| video = {{#ev:archiveorg|MergedDebating}}<br />
| stardate = 21 [[April 2018]]<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}} {{Sex|text}}<br />
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}<br />
| shirt = <br />
| other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| previous = [[All Star#Singing All Star Part 1|All Star Part 1]]<br />
| next = [[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
{{collapsible<br />
<br />
|Transcript|<br />
[''Scene opens to an empty shot of Chris' room with Chris himself just offscreen.'']<br><br />
I'm just gonna go ahead and boot it up.<br><br />
[''Silence'']<br><br />
[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it]], Magi-Chan!<br><br />
[''More silence'']<br><br />
Do that real quick, get it out of the way.<br><br />
[''A few more seconds of silence until you're greeted with the sound of Chris pissing on the floor'']<br><br />
You do me? I mean..I..You let me do you first, and then I'll let you do me okay Hubby?<br><br />
[''Pissing continues'']<br><br />
Get this out of my system.<br><br />
[''Pissing stops'']<br><br />
I got one more thing, [''Slap''] ow. [''Unintelligible'']<br><br />
Sigh.<br><br />
[''A nude Chris then goes onscreen, stands next to a docked iPhone and then applies hand sanitizer'']<br><br />
Yes, picking' that up.<br><br />
For us Hubby.<br><br />
[''Chris wakes the phone up and All Star begins to play'']<br><br />
[''Chris sings in a flat monotone voice'']<br><br />
Some-BODY once told me the world is gonna roll me.<br><br />
[''He kneels onto the bed and the singing becomes more erratic'']<br><br />
I ain't the sharpest tool in the sheeeeeed!<br><br />
She was lookin' kinda dumb with her [''He mimes analingus on an invisible partner''] finger and her thumb-<br><br />
and the shape of an L on her forehead.<br><br />
Magibond!<br><br />
[''Mumbles'']<br><br />
[''Chris then moves towards the camera and begins to rub his taint while also building a falsetto'']<br><br />
Your brain gets smart and your head gets dumb!<br><br />
So much to do so much to see-<br><br />
So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?<br><br />
You never know if you don't go.<br><br />
You never stop if you don't know.<br><br />
[''For a few seconds he sounds like one of the Bee Gees and then his voice immediately drops back down'']<br><br />
Hey now! You're an allstar!<br><br />
[''He switches from taint rubbing to mass debating'']<br><br />
Get your game on go play!<br><br />
Hey now! You're a rockstar!<br><br />
Get the show on, get paid!<br><br />
And all that glitters is.. [''Sound cuts for a second'']<br><br />
[''Chris stops rapping and moves over to a body pillow'']<br><br />
-shootin' stars break the mold!<br><br />
[''Chris begins to fist the pillow as if it were a partner'']<br><br />
Cool place, and they say it gets colder.<br><br />
Bundle up now but you never get older.<br><br />
[''Mumbles''] satellite picture.<br><br />
Ice we skate [''Mumbles''] getting warm-<br><br />
so you might as well swim. [''Mumbles'']<br><br />
Yours? That's the way I like it and I never get BORED!<br><br />
[''Chris then gives the pillow doggy style'']<br><br />
Hey now! You're an allstar! Get the show on, get paid!<br><br />
HEY now! You're an allstar! Get the show on, get paid!<br><br />
And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break-<br><br />
the MOLD! [''Chris sings to the instrumental part while still humping the pillow'']<br><br />
[''He then switches back to mass debating'']<br><br />
Rockstar, get the show on get paid!<br><br />
And all that glitters is GOOOLD!<br><br />
SHOOTIN' STARS BR-<br><br />
SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME [''Mumbles'']<br><br />
Get myself away from this place.<br><br />
I said yep, what a concept!<br><br />
[''Mumbles''] All use a little chaaaange!<br><br />
[''Mumbles''] smart but your head gets dumb<br><br />
So much to do, so much to see<br><br />
...what's wrong with TAKING the backstreet?!<br><br />
Uh, no, fairy snow<br><br />
Never shine if you don't know!<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're an all star<br><br />
Get show on, get paid<br><br />
Hey now, you're a rock star<br><br />
Get the show on, get PAID<br><br />
And all that glitters is GOOOOLLLD<br><br />
...shooting stars break the MOOOOLD<br><br />
And all [''mumbling''] is gooooold<br><br />
Only shootin' stars break the MOOOOOOOLLLLDDD!!!!!<br><br />
[''music ends and all that's left is the unholy sound of Chris fapping'']}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Shrek Retold]]<br />
* [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]<br />
* [[Chris humps his PS3]]<br />
* [[Sam and Ellen]]<br />
* [[BronyCon 2019#All Star 3.0|All Star 3.0]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c2f79f5aa825 Mirror of the sex tape]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{LeakedVideos}}<br />
{{Troll Videos}}<br />
{{Music Videos}}<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!|Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!]]|nextlink=[[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]<br />
[[Category:Videos containing nudity]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=All_Star&diff=251801All Star2020-09-02T08:33:15Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Singing All Star (Sex Tape version) */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Honest}}<br />
[[File:Screenshot-twitter.com-2018.11.18-16-23-55.png|thumb|right|"''Well, the years start coming and they don't stop [[Semen|coming]].''"]]<br />
"'''[[Wikipedia:All Star (song)|All Star]]'''" is a [[1999]] song by [[wikipedia:Smash Mouth|Smash Mouth]]. Widely known as the opening theme of the animated film ''[[Shrek Retold|Shrek]]'', the song has since entered internet meme culture in the last decade thanks to [[Idea Guys|Millennials]] and [[Teen Troon Squad|Zoomers]]. During the "[[Cryzel Torture]]" chat of 21 [[April 2018]], [[Chris]] uploaded two covers of "All Star" to the [[Idea Guys]] via Discord.<br />
<br />
Having gained Chris' consent to use his Discord account to aid in the conflict against the Idea Guys, [[Kiwi Farms]] owner [[Null]] leaked the SFW version on 13 July.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/cryzel-torture.45450/</ref> Later that year on 18 [[November 2018]], a troll impersonating [[Magi-Chan]], presumably one of the [[Teen Troon Squad]], leaked the second, [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] rendition with Chris [[mass debating]] to Chris' <span class="plainlinks">[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Twitter Twitter]. The tweet was deleted minutes later, but the video was quickly preserved by Christorians.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-18-chriss-twitter-posts-a-video-of-him-jacking-off.50093/</ref> More parts of video would be leaked by Lukas Sampson, the ringleader of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] onto [[/cow/]] on 31 [[December 2018]].<ref>Videos were leaked at https://8ch.net/cow/res/687691.html#689605 and a Teen Troon Squad member posted at https://8ch.net/cow/res/687691.html#689633</ref><br />
<br />
Notably, Chris sings in the same growling voice that he used to indicate he was singing under duress way back in [[It's UGH!]] (2009).<br />
<br />
==Singing All Star (SFW version)==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = Chris-Chan Sings All Star<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8Jwt2_q19Iw}}<br />
| stardate = 21 [[April 2018]]<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}}<br />
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}<br />
| shirt = <br />
| other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Chris pleads to stop Cryzel Torture]]<br />
| next = [[All Star#Singing All Star Part 2|All Star Part 2]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
<br />
{{collapsible<br />
<br />
|Transcript|<br />
<br />
[''Chris makes a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|constipated grunt]] and the camera briefly gains a green tint. He begins [[Honor roll|reading the lyrics from his phone]] in a similar constipated low growl, his tone severely fluctuating, and gesticulating wildly.'']<br />
Some-BODY once told me,<br />
<br />
the WORLD is gonna ROLL ME!<br />
<br />
I ain't the sharpest [''voice drops to guttural croak''] torl in the sheeeed!<br />
<br />
She was looking [''Chris gives up on following the melody''] kinda ''dumb''<br />
<br />
[''Mimes along with the next two lines''] With her ''finger'' and her ''thumb'' <br />
<br />
In the shape of an L, on her foreheeead!<br />
<br />
<br />
[''Remembers the melody again''] Well... the years start comin'<br />
<br />
And they don't [[Chris and English|starp]] comin'<br />
<br />
Feh to the rules and they [[TooManyGames|hit the ground]] runnin'<br />
<br />
It dudn't make sense not to live for fun<br />
<br />
[''High growl, slurred''] Y'brain gets [[Honor roll|smart]] [''Low growl''] but yer head gets dumb<br />
<br />
<br />
So much to do, so much to see,<br />
<br />
So what's wrong with takin' the backstre'<br />
<br />
You'll never know if you don't go<br />
<br />
You'll never shine if you don't GLOW<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey know, you're an all star<br />
<br />
Get your game on, go bleh<br />
<br />
Hurr nurr, yer a ruckstar<br />
<br />
Get the show on, get beh<br />
<br />
[''Shakes his phone''] ''And all that glitters is gooold''<br />
<br />
Only shootin' ''STUURS'' break the ''[[14 Branchland Court|mooold?]]''<br />
<br />
<br />
It's a col' place, and they say i'gets col'er<br />
<br />
Yer bun'led up now until y'ge' ol'er<br />
<br />
The me'eor men beg t'differ<br />
<br />
Judgin' by the hole in their satellite picture<br />
<br />
The ice ge' thay, [''gibberish as he loses his place''] w'er w'er w'er... [''small groan'']<br />
<br />
[''Picks up the tempo''] W'er's ge'in warm so ya might as well ''swim!''<br />
<br />
My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?<br />
<br />
That's the way I like it, I'll never get bore'<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're an all star<br />
<br />
Getcher game on, go blay<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're a rockstar<br />
<br />
Get the show on, get beh<br />
<br />
[''Begins shaking his phone''] An' all that gli'ers is ''gooold!''<br />
<br />
Only shootin' ''staaars breeeak'' the ''mooold!''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
[''Almost 20 seconds of growling, warbling and Hulk Hogan-like arm shaking'']<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're an all star<br />
<br />
Getcher game on, go blay<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're a rockstar<br />
<br />
Get yer show on, get bleh<br />
<br />
[''Poses with arms out and head low''] An' ''ALL'' that gli'ers is ''GOOOL'''<br />
<br />
[''Another brief growl solo'']<br />
<br />
Only shootin' ''staaaaaaars...''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Some''bo''dy once-- [''[[Speech Impediment|Unintelligible]]'']<br />
<br />
[[Ohio trip|Spare some change for gas, I need to get away from]]<br />
<br />
Self away from this ''place''<br />
<br />
[''Growls'']<br />
<br />
I sai', "Yup... ''WHA' CONCE'!''<br />
<br />
I could use lotta fuel myself!<br />
<br />
An' we could all use a little [''Leaning towards the camera''] ''chaaange!''"<br />
<br />
[''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Rising growl]]'']<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Well, the years start comin'<br />
<br />
And they don't stop comin'<br />
<br />
I feh to the rules an' I hit the ground ruh<br />
<br />
Di'n' make sense not to live for fun<br />
<br />
Yer brain gets smart but yer head gets dumb<br />
<br />
''So much'' to do, so much t'see<br />
<br />
So what's wrong with takin' the backstre'<br />
<br />
Ya never know if you don't go. [''Lurches towards the camera''] '''''GUH-OOH!'''''<br />
<br />
Ya never knuh if ya don't [''Lurches again, but less intensely''] ''glow''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're an ahrl star<br />
<br />
Get the game on, go blay<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're a wock star<br />
<br />
Get the show on, [[Monthly Tugboat|get pay]]<br />
<br />
An' all that gli'ers is ''goool'!''<br />
<br />
[''Growls'']<br />
<br />
Only shootin' stars break the mol'?<br />
<br />
An' ''all'' that gli'ers is gold<br />
<br />
Only shoo'in' stars, break the frickin' ''moooold!''<br />
<br />
[''Chris groans constipatedly one more time, picks up the camera, spins around and punches it to the ground.'']}}<br />
<br />
==Singing All Star (Sex Tape version)==<br />
{{Collapsible|Chris pisses on the floor in a corner of his [[bedroom]], then masturbates while fantasizing about [[Magi-Chan]](extremely NSFW).|<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = For Shrek's Eyes Only<br />
| video = {{#ev:archiveorg|MergedDebating}}<br />
| stardate = 21 [[April 2018]]<br />
| subject = {{Music|text}} {{Sex|text}}<br />
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}<br />
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}<br />
| shirt = <br />
| other = {{Leaked|text}}<br />
| previous = [[All Star#Singing All Star Part 1|All Star Part 1]]<br />
| next = [[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Transcript===<br />
{{collapsible<br />
<br />
|Transcript|<br />
[''Scene opens to an empty shot of Chris' room with Chris himself just offscreen.'']<br><br />
I'm just gonna go ahead and boot it up.<br><br />
[''Silence'']<br><br />
[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it]], Magi-Chan!<br><br />
[''More silence'']<br><br />
Do that real quick, get it out of the way.<br><br />
[''A few more seconds of silence until you're greeted with the sound of Chris pissing on the floor'']<br><br />
You do me? I mean..I..You let me do you first, and then I'll let you do me okay Hubby?<br><br />
[''Pissing continues'']<br><br />
Get this out of my system.<br><br />
[''Pissing stops'']<br><br />
I got one more thing, [''Slap''] ow. [''Unintelligible'']<br><br />
Sigh.<br><br />
[''A nude Chris then goes onscreen, stands next to a docked iPhone and then applies hand sanitizer'']<br><br />
Yes, picking' that up.<br><br />
For us Hubby.<br><br />
[''Chris wakes the phone up and All Star begins to play'']<br><br />
[''Chris sings in a flat monotone voice'']<br><br />
Some-BODY once told me the world is gonna roll me.<br><br />
[''He kneels onto the bed and the singing becomes more erratic'']<br><br />
I ain't the sharpest tool in the sheeeeeed!<br><br />
She was lookin' kinda dumb with her [''He mimes analingus on an invisible partner''] finger and her thumb-<br><br />
and the shape of an L on her forehead.<br><br />
Magibond!<br><br />
[''Mumbles'']<br><br />
[''Chris then moves towards the camera and begins to rub his taint while also building a falsetto'']<br><br />
Your brain gets smart and your head gets dumb!<br><br />
So much to do so much to see-<br><br />
So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?<br><br />
You never know if you don't go.<br><br />
You never stop if you don't know.<br><br />
[''For a few seconds he sounds like one of the Bee Gees and then his voice immediately drops back down'']<br><br />
Hey now! You're an allstar!<br><br />
[''He switches from taint rubbing to mass debating'']<br><br />
Get your game on go play!<br><br />
Hey now! You're a rockstar!<br><br />
Get the show on, get paid!<br><br />
And all that glitters is.. [''Sound cuts for a second'']<br><br />
[''Chris stops rapping and moves over to a body pillow'']<br><br />
-shootin' stars break the mold!<br><br />
[''Chris begins to fist the pillow as if it were a partner'']<br><br />
Cool place, and they say it gets colder.<br><br />
Bundle up now but you never get older.<br><br />
[''Mumbles''] satellite picture.<br><br />
Ice we skate [''Mumbles''] getting warm-<br><br />
so you might as well swim. [''Mumbles'']<br><br />
Yours? That's the way I like it and I never get BORED!<br><br />
[''Chris then gives the pillow doggy style'']<br><br />
Hey now! You're an allstar! Get the show on, get paid!<br><br />
HEY now! You're an allstar! Get the show on, get paid!<br><br />
And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break-<br><br />
the MOLD! [''Chris sings to the instrumental part while still humping the pillow'']<br><br />
[''He then switches back to mass debating'']<br><br />
Rockstar, get the show on get paid!<br><br />
And all that glitters is GOOOLD!<br><br />
SHOOTIN' STARS BR-<br><br />
SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME [''Mumbles'']<br><br />
Get myself away from this place.<br><br />
I said yep, what a concept!<br><br />
[''Mumbles''] All use a little chaaaange!<br><br />
[''Mumbles''] smart but your head gets dumb<br><br />
So much to do, so much to see<br><br />
...what's wrong with TAKING the backstreet?!<br><br />
Uh, no, fairy snow<br><br />
Never shine if you don't know!<br />
<br />
Hey now, you're an all star<br><br />
Get show on, get paid<br><br />
Hey now, you're a rock star<br><br />
Get the show on, get PAID<br><br />
And all that glitters is GOOOOLLLD<br><br />
...shooting stars break the MOOOOLD<br><br />
And all [''mumbling''] is gooooold<br><br />
Only shootin' stars break the MOOOOOOOLLLLDDD!!!!!<br><br />
[''music ends and all that's left is the unholy sound of Chris fapping'']}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
* [[Shrek Retold]]<br />
* [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]<br />
* [[Chris humps his PS3]]<br />
* [[Sam and Ellen]]<br />
* [[BronyCon 2019#All Star 3.0|All Star 3.0]]<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
*[https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c2f79f5aa825 Mirror of the sex tape]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{LeakedVideos}}<br />
{{Troll Videos}}<br />
{{Music Videos}}<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!|Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!]]|nextlink=[[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]<br />
[[Category:Videos containing nudity]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWCki:Improvement&diff=251684CWCki:Improvement2020-08-31T10:38:03Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Rewrite/Expand */</p>
<hr />
<div>Since December 2019, the CWCki has become [[Talk:Main_Page#Removing "WHERE_NO_SHIT_IS_TOO_MINOR!" tagline|more selective]] of what qualifies for inclusion, due to a substantial increase in [[Unholy Tetrad|people]] trying to disrupt or influence Chris for attention: the change means that Christorians now have a lot more time to improve or expand existing articles and pages. This pages lists what they think needs to be done:<br />
<br />
* Can be done in any order.<br />
* If you have a suggestion for improvement, add it to the appropriate section below: if you have completed any of the suggestions below, remove it from here.<br />
* If you started working on an article in your sandbox, and wants others to help, link your sandbox in the appropriate section below.<br />
<br />
==Urgent==<br />
Categorize and sort through all of the [[2020 Discord leaks|leaked images from the Discord]].<br />
<br />
== Rewrite/Expand ==<br />
<br />
For articles that need cleanup or expansion.<br />
<br />
*[[Idea Guys]]<br />
<br />
*[[Mathematics]] - complete rework<br />
<br />
*[[Alcohol]]<br />
<br />
*[[Pokemon Go]]<br />
<br />
*[[Netflix]] needs to be expanded to include newer shows he has watched, like BNA.<br />
<br />
*The following pages need to be fixed up by deleting unwanted posts (such a Chris saying thanks or nice to some enabler) and retweets (of random giveaways and pointless enabler art) and rearranging important posts to the top.<br />
** [[November 2018 social media posts]]<br />
** [[December 2018 social media posts]]<br />
<br />
*[[Chris and the Internet]]<br />
<br />
*[[Chris and television]]<br />
<br />
*[[Biology]] - Expand<br />
<br />
*[[Sonichu 13]] - We need better scans to make sense of the page numbering system in the issue.<br />
<br />
*[[Cosplay]] needs details on Bronycon 2017+18<br />
<br />
*Sections of [[Chris and religion]] have not been been updated since his CPU Uzume possession in early 2018. The article especially needs more information on Chris's own following, the "Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu".<br />
<br />
*[[Mysticism]] (or another page if inappropriate) - As seen in a [[Twilight_Sparkle%27s_Secret_Shipfic_Folder#Pseudoscience|category of Chris' TSSSF cards]], Chris uses a few magical tools such as a wand and the Glacce Bottle (along with the more known "[[Magic stones]]") to enhance his CPU abilities.<br />
<br />
== Update ==<br />
<br />
* [[Chris and death]] – What happens to Barbara and Chris after they die?<br />
<br />
* [[Chris and race]] — What is still relevant and what has changed? Also, please confirm if there was any response by Chris to the widespread protests caused by the death of George Floyd.<br />
<br />
* [[Chris and health]] - Finish section on hydration. Find more information on Chris’s beliefs about water.<br />
<br />
A full list of articles that need updating can be found [[:Category:Articles needing updates|here]].<br />
<br />
== Standardize ==<br />
<br />
* Standardize file names and categories for pages from ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'': see Little Owl’s [[User:Little Owl/Style guide|draft style guide]]: we are doing this, so that it will be easier to find them later, as well as to reduce confusion between subtle revisions (e.g. between [[:File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 1, Page 5, Revision 1.jpg|this]] and [[:File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 1, Page 5, Revision 2.jpg|that]]).<br />
<br />
== Categorize ==<br />
<br />
{{Protip|This project is currently on hold, instead please help finish the Standardization project}}<br />
<br />
* Categorize all files by going through [[Special:UncategorizedFiles]].<br />
<br />
Pictures of/by <br />
**Weens under Category:Ween<br />
**White Knights under Category:White Knight<br />
**Enablers under Category:Enabler<br />
**A Logs under Category:A-Log<br />
**Fan art under Category:Fan Art<br />
<br />
If you see any useless pictures not being used anywhere put the delete template on them.<br />
<br />
== Minor fixes ==<br />
<br />
For minor aesthetic changes or droning repetitive fixes.<br />
<br />
*Bluespike skype chats have minor formatting errors and summaries require piping<br />
<br />
*Bluespike skype logs 2, times are fucked needs fixing by comparing old version<br />
<br />
*[[Financhu_Crisis|Financhu Crisis]], TokyoTreat box is said to have cost Chris 700$. In reality he buys the costlier tokyotreat box not the cheapest, need to update this data.<br />
<br />
==Pages to create==<br />
Approved article ideas.<br />
<br />
*Help complete the Chris and his personality article. [[User:AAE/Chris and his personality|Here]] is the stub.<br />
<br />
*Rename Chris and English/Spanish to just English/Spanish.<br />
<br />
*A page about the Love is love comic book, use [[January 2017 Facebook Posts]] for reference.<br />
<br />
==Recently overhauled/finished articles==<br />
Lineup for Article of the Now.<br />
<br />
*[[Vinyl Scratch]]<br />
*[[Diamond Melody]]<br />
*[[Japanophilia]]<br />
*[[Chris and death#Suicide]] - not an article, but this section is fairly important<br />
*[[Brendan Fraser]]<br />
*[[Equestrian calendar]]<br />
*[[Internet Dream Lounge]]<br />
*[[Australatina]]<br />
*[[Equestria Girls]]<br />
*[[2012 Poster campaign]]<br />
*[[Nazis]]<br />
*[[Kun T’Nyuget]]<br />
*[[DJ Jamsta]]<br />
*[[Watchmen]]<br />
*[[Analysis of Sonichu 12-9]]<br />
*[[My Little Pony Protests]]<br />
*[[CWC Psychlight]]<br />
*[[Chris and oratory]]<br />
*[[Red Forest]]<br />
*[[Creamarina]]<br />
*[[CPU Blue Heart]]<br />
*[[VHS]]<br />
<br />
== Things that always need to be done ==<br />
Changes to articles/templates that need to be done periodically.<br />
<br />
*Keep [[Chris and coping]], [[Spirit possession]], [[COVID-19]], Social media posts of respective month updated.<br />
<br />
*[[:Category:Media needing transcription|Transcribe media.]]<br />
<br />
*Clean up unused files.<br />
<br />
==Lost media==<br />
A lot of Chris related media is lost. Help the CWCki by finding them and placing them in their articles.<br />
Back them up in multiple publicly accessible websites before if you do find any.<br />
<br />
*[[Chris Sex Logs|Skype sex logs by PandaHalo]]<br />
*Sonichu fan promo 1 and 2 by timmys1984<br />
*Medallion destruction videos by Blanca trolls<br />
*Sonichu home club videos by Chris<br />
*Sachumo interview<br />
*Police scanner conversation on [[26 December 2014]] about Chris<br />
*CWC 4 Puns of the Patridiots, a video by trolls about MGS and CWC.<br />
<br />
==Technical==<br />
* MediaWiki software update — The latest MediaWiki 1.31 release is 1.31.8.<br />
* Introduce [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:ConfirmAccount ConfirmAccount] (see https://kiwifarms.net/threads/updating-the-cwcki.50150/post-7021292) — the current DM-based request system is not flexible, as the CWCki team do have to balance between real life and a backlog of maintenance and organization tasks (some currently have so much free time solely due to COVID-19, which isn't going to last forever).<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWCki]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=251607User:Esteemed hams2020-08-30T11:34:18Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* How I discovered Chris */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| style="width: 240px; height: auto; float: right; border: 2px solid #ccf;"<br />
| style="text-align: center; font-size: smaller;" | [[File:Ouch.png|240px|center]]''Retard in action''<br />
|-<br />
|{{Discordjerkop}}{{Asian}}{{Australian}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Ham}}{{Straight}}{{ClassicChris}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}<br />
|}<br />
<br />
== How I discovered Chris ==<br />
It was 2011. I was a 8 year old ADHD boy, with a lot to live for. Coming from a seaside town, activities such as fishing were popular, and people like I were always into videos of such. So one day, I scrolled down a bit further, and that's when I heard him-<br />
:<br />
:"I got a fish!<br />
:Would ya like to make a wish?<br />
:<br />
:I got a fish!<br />
:Would ya like to make a wish?<br />
:<br />
:I got a ''fiiiiiiiiish!''"<br />
:<br />
<br />
I had been blessed by his appearance, and from then on my life changed. Observing this lolcow actually corrected the wrongs in my ways, and without Chris I may not even be here at this moment.<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=251606User:Esteemed hams2020-08-30T11:33:36Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* How I discovered Chris */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| style="width: 240px; height: auto; float: right; border: 2px solid #ccf;"<br />
| style="text-align: center; font-size: smaller;" | [[File:Ouch.png|240px|center]]''Retard in action''<br />
|-<br />
|{{Discordjerkop}}{{Asian}}{{Australian}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Ham}}{{Straight}}{{ClassicChris}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}<br />
|}<br />
<br />
== How I discovered Chris ==<br />
It was 2011. I was a 8 year old ADHD boy, with a lot to live for. Coming from a seaside town, activities such as fishing were popular, and people like I were always into videos of such. So one day, I scrolled down a bit further, and that's when I heard him-<br />
:<br />
:"I got a fish!<br />
:Would ya like to make a wish?<br />
<br />
:I got a fish!<br />
:Would ya like to make a wish?<br />
:<br />
:I got a ''fiiiiiiiiish!''"<br />
:<br />
:I had been blessed by his appearance, and from then on my life changed. Observing this lolcow actually corrected the wrongs in my ways, and without Chris I may not even be here at this moment.<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=251605User:Esteemed hams2020-08-30T11:32:59Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{| style="width: 240px; height: auto; float: right; border: 2px solid #ccf;"<br />
| style="text-align: center; font-size: smaller;" | [[File:Ouch.png|240px|center]]''Retard in action''<br />
|-<br />
|{{Discordjerkop}}{{Asian}}{{Australian}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Ham}}{{Straight}}{{ClassicChris}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}<br />
|}<br />
<br />
== How I discovered Chris ==<br />
It was 2011. I was a 8 year old ADHD boy, with a lot to live for. Coming from a seaside town, activities such as fishing were popular, and people like I were always into videos of such. So one day, I scrolled down a bit further, and that's when I heard him-<br />
:<br />
:"I got a fish!<br />
:Would ya like to make a wish?<br />
<br />
:I got a fish!<br />
:Would ya like to make a wish?<br />
:<br />
:I had been blessed by his appearance, and from then on my life changed. Observing this lolcow actually corrected the wrongs in my ways, and without Chris I may not even be here at this moment.<br />
<br />
:I got a ''fiiiiiiiiish!''"<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=251604User:Esteemed hams2020-08-30T11:26:11Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{| style="width: 240px; height: auto; float: right; border: 2px solid #ccf;"<br />
| style="text-align: center; font-size: smaller;" | [[File:Ouch.png|240px|center]]''Retard in action''<br />
|-<br />
|{{Discordjerkop}}{{Asian}}{{Australian}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Ham}}{{Straight}}{{ClassicChris}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}<br />
|}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=251578User:Esteemed hams2020-08-30T05:54:33Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Discordjerkop}}{{Asian}}{{Australian}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Ham}}{{Straight}}{{ClassicChris}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Kel&diff=250479Kel2020-08-19T09:38:41Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Backstory */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Quote|Meanwhile, about a few miles from the city at a shore-side of a lake, there was a wooden cottage occupied with a lovely [[Pokémon|pokemon]] trainer. Her name was Kel, short for Kellie, with brown hair, average figure, 16 years of age and a very cheerful personality. At this time, she was studying up on what the qualifications were for participating in the Johto League and which strategies she and her pokemon would use.|From "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]"}}<br />
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] character<br />
|-<br />
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Kel.jpg|200px]]<br />
|-<br />
! colspan="2" |Kellie Felix<br />
|-<br />
| '''Date of birth'''<br />
|[[Sonichu chronology#1986|1986]]<br />
|-<br />
| '''Gender'''<br />
| Female<br />
|-<br />
| '''Species'''<br />
| Human<br />
|-<br />
| '''Occupation'''<br />
| [[Pokémon]] trainer<br />
|}<br />
'''Kellie''' "'''Kel'''" '''Felix'''<ref name="rosechu on cwcipedia">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Rosechu]</ref><ref>[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]</ref> is [[Rosechu]]'s original trainer. Kel was only seen in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and was briefly mentioned by Rosechu in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. If you have any information pertaining to her current status and location, please contact your local [[Jerkop|police department]]. <br />
<br />
It is believed that she is loosely based off Chris's real-life gal-pal [[Kellie Andes]]. This is furthered by the use of "Kellie" in "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]", [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] and the [[CWCipedia]].<br />
<br />
Of note, she is the closest Chris has gotten to an original creation in the ''Sonichu'' canon. Although likely inspired by Kellie Andes, she does not resemble her physically or in personality.<br />
<br />
==Backstory==<br />
[[Image:KelHallOfFame.jpg|300px|left|Kel after finishing her quest and returning to CWCville.]]<br />
According to the Rosechu biography page<ref name="rosechu on cwcipedia" /> on the [[CWCipedia]], Kel had gotten the Pichu who would become Rosechu from Professor Cole due to her being the last one there. This is a [[Things Chris has ripped off|rip-off]] of the first meeting between Pokémon anime protagonist Ash Ketchum and his first Pokémon, Pikachu. Unlike Ash and Pikachu, Kel and Pichu hit it off quite nicely.<br />
<br />
Her initial Pokémon catches include a Dratini, a Ponyta, a Lapras, a Chansey and a Geodude. It is said that the Pichu evolved into a Pikachu and she used a Thunderstone to evolve her into a Raichu. She was taking a break in her cottage on the day [[Sonichu 0|the Raichu became Rosechu]]. She tried to tell Professor Oak, [[Chris and writing|but he suggested telling Cole, but he was on vacation]].<br />
<br />
When Rosechu met Sonichu, Kel took both of them to [[Cole Smithey#Professor Cole|Professor Cole]] to examine them. After doing so, she also met Chris and battled him in a Pokémon Gym Battle, defeating him as well(!!). When Rosechu wanted to stay with Sonichu, Kel relented and allowed her to stay.<br />
<br />
Kel would resume her travels, using a Manectric to replace Rosechu, but it is said that she still calls for Rosechu when need be. Her Pokémon Championship Hall of Fame picture,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:KelHallOfFame.jpg]</ref> awarded at the as-of-yet-untold-of end of her quest, shows Rosechu instead of a Manectric.<br />
<br />
==In the comic==<br />
As stated in ''Sonichu'' #0, Kel is Rosechu's caring [[Pokémon]] trainer. Not much else about her is known.<br />
<br />
Kel is one of the only trainers in the comic, the other being [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]], who no longer uses his Pokémon. She owns a Dragonite and briefly a (presumably female) Raichu until the [[rainbow]] turned it into [[Rosechu]]. Rosechu then maxed out Kel's credit cards and promptly ditched her to live with [[Sonichu]]. Chris has revealed that Kel released Rosechu to be with Sonichu, and that she is currently in "Trainer's College". In [[February 2010]], Chris wrote details about Kel's roster, revealing that she owned David (Dragonite), Ashley (Rapidash), Tiffany (Lapras), Lauren (Golem), Stephanie (Blissey).<br />
<br />
It should be noted that after ''Sonichu'' #0, Kel was almost completely written out by Chris (also noted how her introduction can be summed to "Rosechu's trainer"). This is made even more perplexing when one considers that Kel, actually having been the trainer of Rosechu while she was still a Raichu, was not given the chance to use Rosechu as her Pokémon and their relationship dwindled down to "BFFs". Chris, who had absolutely nothing to do with the creation of Sonichu and Rosechu in the comic canon, is considered Sonichu's "master" and occasionally called "father" by Sonichu (also called "father" and "papa" by Rosechu, which has lead some fans to believe there is [[Chris and sex#Incest|some incest undertones going on]]. While the idea they call him "Father" as a god complex- the fact their children call him "Grandma" says otherwise.).<br />
<br />
After a prolonged nine-issue absence, Kel reappears (not having taken the time to change clothes) in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as part of the three-person firing squad that executes Sean, along with [[Bill the Scientist]] and [[Allison Amber]]. Caring indeed.<br />
<br />
===Kel and her men===<br />
<br />
Besides Rosechu, Kel was also the owner of [[David the Dragonite|David]], a [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]]. She once tried to offer him to a sad [[Rosechu]] to fuck, but when the latter told Kel to fuck David herself, the Pokémon trainer enigmatically replied that "she can't say she didn't try". It's worth noting that David is described as "loyal" and being "[[Duck|too big]]" for Rosechu.<br />
<br />
Chris on [[CWCipedia]] elaborated on the fate of Kel, including revealing a short-lived romance with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]:<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc]</ref><br />
<br />
{{quote|Their first Villainous Encounter was the first Confrontation with Naitsirhc in [[Sonichu 0|Episode 3]]. Naitsirch was young; he was 14-Years Old on that Shopping Day August 8th, 1998. They fought numerously in and around Cwcville. Naitsirch was a [[Pedofork|healthy straight boy]]; after a few battles with Kel, Rosechu's Trainer, as an eye-witness sometimes, she started to fall in love with Naitsirhc. After Rosechu and Sonichu departed from Kel's cottage on June 8, 2000. They went their seperate ''[sic]'' ways. After a number of saving-the-city moments, I offered Sonichu his own house in the suburban area of [[Cwcville]]. The date of Completed Construction on the house they still live in today, was on May 27, 2000. <br />
<br />
Kel moved on and continued with her Pok'emon Master Journey at age 14. She spent four years from the Journey she started on to Vigorously Train her Pokemon Team: Daisy (Dragonite), Ashley (Rapidash), Tiffany (Lapras), Lauren (Golem), Stephanie (Blissey) and after Rosechu left her party, she called Professor Oak for Larry (her Alakazam) at and around her cottage and Cwcville.}}<br />
<br />
It should be noted that this was on the CWCipedia page for Sonichu since, as a [[Women's rights|woman]], Kel isn't important enough for her own article. Chris may have an article for his [[Son-Chu|fucking car]], but it was only after prolonged pestering that he even bothered with one for [[Rosechu]]...<br />
<br />
In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], it's revealed that Chris is attempting to restore [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]] to [[Straight|normal]] through the [[Homos|Straight Vaccine]] because, apparently, Kel misses him. For those who do not read the CWCipedia, the statement that Naitsirhc and Kel were [[sweetheart]]s would seem completely out from left field. By making up a relationship on the spot, we see how the manchild attempts to evade responsibility for his [[Mailbag 19#That d*** Hitler|Hitleresque]] eugenics ideas, trying to make it sound as if Kel is their initiator. This also shows a bit of how Chris just can't get over women, since Reldnahc is just an "[[homos|evil]]" version of Chris, and Kel is just a "barely existent" version of [[Kellie Andes]], whom Chris was deeply infatuated with. Just like how Chris lives out his [[Lovely Weather|fantasies]] through [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic Chris]], so too does he use Reldnahc as a means for letting some version of himself be with one of the [[sweethearts|dozens of women who tolerated Chris]].<br />
<br />
It should be noted that, prior to ''Sonichu'' #10, Kel and Naitsirhc ''never shared one scene'' or ''exchanged one line of dialogue''. The only episode they were both in (minus the introduction page) was in ''Sonichu'' #0, Episode 3 – Naitsirhc rides his Legendary Pokémon, Raikou, off after Sonichu defeats his other Legendary Pokémon, Zapdos. Kel is seen cheering for Sonichu after he saved Rosechu. It can be inferred she never confronted him for kidnapping her Pokémon or causing damage to the city. When Naitsirhc transformed to his evil counterpart, he was in Giovanni's lab – nowhere near Kel –, though when Chris turned him straight, he teleported him to Kel's bed.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Pokémon]]<br />
*[[Rosechu]]<br />
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]<br />
*[[David the Dragonite]]<br />
*[[Kellie Andes]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Characters]]<br />
[[Category:Pokémon and Pokémon Trainers]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Cole_Smithey&diff=250477Cole Smithey2020-08-19T09:37:12Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Cole in the comics */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
<br />
{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] finally drops.|Cole<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 email #3]]</ref>}}<br />
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 1]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
{{infobox<br />
| title = Cole&nbsp;Smithey<br />
| image = [[File:Coles.jpg|250px|center]]<br />
|header1 = Information<br />
|label1 = Name<br />
|data1 = Joseph Cole Smithey<br />
|label2 = Also known as<br />
|data2 = The Smartest Film Critic in the World<br>Joe Cool<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref><br>Coleslaw<br />
|label3 = Date of Birth<br />
|data3 = [[Pre-1980#1960s|24 July 1963]] (age {{Age|1963|7|24}})<br />
|label5 = Gender<br />
|data5 = Male<br />
|label6 = Nationality<br />
|data6 = [[United States|American]]<br />
|label7 = [[Chris and race|Race]]<br />
|data7 = White<br />
|label8 = Spouse<br />
|data8 = Katherine (2013–present)<br />
|label11 = Father<br />
|data11 = [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (alleged biological father)<br>[[Jack Dale Smithey]] (biological father, as claimed by Barb)<br>[[Jerry Harmon]] (stepfather)<br>[[Bob Chandler|Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)<br />
|label12 = Mother<br />
|data12 = [[Barbara Chandler]]<br />
|label13 = Siblings<br />
|data13 = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]<br />
|label14 = Occupations<br />
|data14 = Film critic<br>Musician<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s first son, and lone escapee of the [[Chandler Family Tree|Casa de Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole leads a relatively normal life. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's emails to Chris]] revealed a lot of information about the Chandler family.<br />
<br />
==Life==<br />
<br />
===Childhood===<br />
Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)]]</ref> As a child, Cole claims to have been physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his "stepfather" [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios".<ref name="email">[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she wasn't.<ref name="email" /> Cole believes his biological father to be [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who was introduced as a friend of the family and visited when Cole was a child.<br />
<br />
Barb married Ran on 17 June 1961. They were legally separated on April 28, 1962.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/interesting-info-about-chriss-family-particularly-their-parents.27521/page-5#post-2009970</ref> She formally divorced him on 15 May 1963. Cole was born two months later.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/interesting-info-about-chriss-family-particularly-their-parents.27521/</ref><br />
<br />
<center><gallery><br />
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|Barb and Ran's marriage license.<br />
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|The divorce.<br />
Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook. Notice the physical similarity.<br />
File:Cole Smithey's family tree.png|Cole's family tree<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole recounts his coming to age. This includes a particular event where Barbara fires a loaded gun at a steel door to ward off a burglar, the resulting ricochet of which almost striking young Cole in the head. These events have obviously had a lasting impression on him. It is also suggested he collected comics as a hobby and was a big fan of Kiss.<br />
<br />
<br />
===Move to California===<br />
Cole left home for California, attended San Diego State University from 1981–84, and earned degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College and took similar classes.<ref>http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa</ref> While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called "The Rockin' Dogs". The band lasted from 1981–85.<ref>[http://www.sandiegoreader.com/bands/rockin-dogs/ The Rockin' Dogs | San Diego Reader]</ref> By 1994, still in San Francisco, Cole was doing shows as "Cole Blooded", and had apparently shifted to the guitar.<br />
<br />
===Present===<br />
{{quote|As the story goes, human boy Andy (voiced by John Morris) is off to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]], and must finally put away [[Toys|childish things]] — something most boys do before junior high. [[Autism|Talk about arrested development]] — [[Attraction Sign|this kid isn't getting any dates]].|Cole in his infamous ''Toy Story 3'' review, quite clearly seeing Chris in Andy.<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com/capsules/2010/06/toy-story-3.html Toy Story 3 - ColeSmithey.com]</ref>}}<br />
Cole currently lives in Manhattan and is a film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.<ref>http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/</ref> He was mentioned once in ''Time'' magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to ''Toy Story 3'', resulting in many Pixar fans crying out in disgust that a movie franchise that looked to be the only one with purely 100% ratings on RT was ruined by him and Armond White.<ref>http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/</ref> (Several years later, in an interview with Arthur Spatchcock, Chris stated that he disagreed with his brother's review even though he hadn't seen the film.)<br />
<br />
Cole occasionally hosts [[eBay]] auctions for the winning bidder to spend a night with him drinking craft beer at his wife's bar and talking about film, proving that, despite one half-brother being a wannabe pretentious hipster douchebag and the other being a retarded manchild, they both share the same [[Chris and his Ego|bloated ego]].<ref>http://www.ebay.com/itm/Drink-Craft-Beer-in-NYC-with-Film-Critic-Cole-Smithey-/291052352033?hash=item43c4127221</ref> <br />
<br />
Billing himself as "The Smartest Film Critic in the World" (a title that the late, esteemed film critic [[Wikipedia:Roger Ebert|Roger Ebert]] once mocked<ref>http://www.colesmithey.com/filmblog/2009/04/my-dialogue-with-roger.html</ref>), Cole regularly posts his reviews to YouTube, but his videos have hilariously low view counts, rarely more than a few hundred per video and sometimes not even more than a few ''dozen'', even on reviews of well-known films. Whatever the reason, this means that, ironically, the various videos Chris posted to YouTube over the years have been literally many thousands of times more popular than those of his theoretically more successful brother. It probably doesn't help matters that Cole Smithey's videos have rather low production values, and negative reviews of well-received films (like ''Toy Story 3'' and ''Lady Bird'', which we will get to). On a sidenote, he also considers ''Freddy Got Fingered'' (a film often considered to be either so-bad-it's-good or one of the worst of all time) [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JUuAhFVlk4 to be "Classic Cinema"].<br />
<br />
{{Squote|''Wild Strawberries'' is a thematically abundant film that fluidly condenses a lifetime's worth of experience into succinct cinematic fragments under Ingmar Bergman's complex construction of abstract corollaries.|An example of Cole Smithey's obsession with big words<ref>http://www.colesmithey.com/capsules/2014/07/wild-strawberries.html</ref>|3=}} <br />
<br />
By [[March 2007]], Cole was in a relationship with a woman named Katherine (no, not [[Catherine|her]]).<ref name="Email" /> This is most likely the same Katherine he married in [[March 2013]].<ref name="JohnKyleVid">[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aitxArbd0o John Kyle - Three Love Songs at Katherine and Cole's Wedding] (retrieved on 24 February 2014)</ref> Given that Cole mentioned an earlier wedding during his correspondance with Chris, it appears that Katherine is his second wife, unless the "wedding" in 2013 was actually a renewal of vows.<ref name="email" /><br />
<br />
According to an article written by his friend, syndicated cartoonist [[Wikipedia:Ted Rall|Ted Rall]], Cole once came close to death from [[Wikipedia:Necrotizing fasciitis|necrotizing fasciitis]] after an ER nurse made a misdiagnosis,<ref>[http://www.japantimes.co.jp/opinion/2014/10/06/commentary/world-commentary/emergency-rooms-live-gunshot-wounds/#.VR7L5vnF-So]</ref> and believes that 2016 presidential candidate Bernie Sanders' rise can be attributed to the "failure of propaganda".<ref>[http://www.japantimes.co.jp/opinion/2016/01/22/commentary/world-commentary/sanders-rise-fueled-by-the-failure-of-propaganda/#.Vq1dJrIrI8o]</ref><br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
Cole has co-hosted a free weekly podcast called LA GRANDE BOUFFE (THE BIG FEAST)<ref>https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/la-grande-bouffe-the-big-feast/id1120760479?mt=2</ref> since 23 April 2016.<br />
<br />
In December 2017, Cole repeated his ''Toy Story'' trick by being the first critic to give ''[[Wikipedia:Lady Bird (film)|Lady Bird]]'' a negative review, ruining its perfect 100% Rotten Tomatoes score from 196 previous reviewers. Cole added fuel to the firestorm of criticism he received by admitting to spoiling the film's score on purpose.<ref>[https://thenextweb.com/opinion/2017/12/14/film-critic-spoiled-lady-birds-perfect-rotten-tomatoes-score-basically-admits-hes-troll/]</ref><br />
<br />
==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==<br />
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|250px|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]<br />
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]<br />
<br />
Cole was not on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. According to Cole, Bob worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. He has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref name="email" /> In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks to be informed when Bob dies so he can celebrate.<ref name="Email">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref><br />
<br />
Cole claims Barbara lied about the identity of Cole's biological father. Cole hired a private detective to find evidence contradicting her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]]. In a leaked e-mail sent to [[Jackie]] on 14 May 2011, Chris wrote that Cole "has had mental problems since he hit his head on a bus, and has taken it out heavily on our mother." Some argue the story could be a lie Barbara told Chris to explain Cole's bitterness towards her while masking the issue that actually caused it. <br />
<br />
Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own. Chris has [[Message for John Kyle|complained]] that Cole is ignoring Barb's attempts to get in touch with him. It would seem that Cole has left his mother to her own devices.<br />
<br />
===Reaction to Bob's death===<br />
{{Quote|Let me know when that fuck Bob finally drops.|Cole Smithey, [[Cole Smithey E-mails|three years prior]].}}<br />
<br />
Shortly after [[Bob_Chandler#Later_life.2C_poor_health_and_death|Bob's death]] on 9 [[September 2010]], a troll on [[/cow/|789chan]] contacted Cole using the phone number he provided in his [[Cole Smithey E-mails|leaked emails]]. In spite of his vitriol towards Bob three years prior, he was apparently actually quite broken up by the news. While Cole was certainly upset at Bob, his reaction to Bob's actual death shows that he ultimately did sympathize with him. While no audio of this call has ever been released, it's existence is confirmed by those who browsed the board at the time.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-cole-smithey-thread.84/post-10170 A Kiwi Farms member's account of the call.]</ref><ref>http://archive.is/kHrWN A TinyChat thread posted days after Bob's death, confirming the call's existence. (Post "#134,774")Anonymous A</ref><br />
<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Relationship with Chris==<br />
[[File:26 June 2016 Cole Smithey drawing.jpeg||thumb|left|200px|Depicted burning his money instead of giving it to Chris, as drawn by Chris in June 2016. Note in the picture it says "mother and [[Tomgirl|sister]]".]]<br />
<br />
Ironically, for much of his life Cole has actually gotten along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb, and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.<br />
<br />
Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that he believes that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault. Chris visited Cole in California when he was about seven years old (1989), according to Barb.<ref>[[Rental House Tour#Time to go]]</ref> This is the only time Chris has been on an airplane,<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> the only time he has been to the West Coast of the United States and one of the few times that he has left [[Virginia]].<br />
<br />
For New Year's Day [[1998]] Chris gave Cole a [[Lego]] Band Stand and wished him a "Rocking New Year". However, in [[1999]], on a [[Spanish]] exercise, Chris described "Cole the Beedrill" as ''muy feo'' (very ugly), suggesting relations had strained, probably because of Barb (although he may also have referred to the aspect of the actual Pokémon species).<ref>[[Manchester High Leaks]]</ref> Nevertheless, Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!''. Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and everything to do with Chris, even featuring a picture of Chris on the cover.<br />
<br />
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|300px|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]<br />
<br />
The last time they set eyes on each other was around 2005 at a family Christmas party.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 27]]</ref><br />
<br />
In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts had died a month prior.<ref>[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]</ref> Chris did ask his mother about it, but she maintained her version of the story. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is (though in Chris's defense, getting involved in an awkward quarrel about parentage is a pretty odd price for a simple upvote on a video). This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. To date, these remain the last known communications between the half-brothers as Cole probably distanced himself even further from Chris since only a couple of months later, [[The GAMe PLACe#The GAMe PLACe Photograph|the GAMe PLACe photograph]] was posted onto 4chan, thus beginning Chris's infamy on the internet.<br />
<br />
[[File:Cole and Others Miis.png|thumb|right|300px|Cole (far right) as a [[Sonichu Amiibo|Mii]] in one of Chris's [[Super Smash Bros. Videos]], ''Family Needs to appreciate Family'']]<br />
<br />
In recent years Chris has made numerous efforts to get in touch with Cole, to no avail. In [[October 2013]] he told his friend [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah]], "I have no confirmed or direct contact with him in NY; he doesn't respond to email, twitter feed, Facebook, YouTube, etcetera, either. So, I am most unable to reach him at all."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> On 22 [[June 2013]], Chris attempted to contact Cole via video. He recorded a message directed to John Kyle,<ref name="Message">[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> Cole's brother-in-law, who sang at his wedding.<ref name="JohnKyleVid" /> Chris expressed anger at Cole for not inviting him and Barb to his wedding. In the same month, Chris tried to [[Twitter#29_June_2013|communicate with Cole]] on [[Twitter]], basically telling him to come back home so he could [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|dump his familial responsibilities on him]] and go on his [[Sweetheart Search]]. He also suggested that Cole had some mental/physical problems of his own ''(even talking down to him at one point)'' right before activating the "Playing for Sympathy" card, lamenting his time in jail. <br />
<br />
In [[August 2015]], Chris [[August 2015 Facebook Posts#Please Take Care Of Barb So I Can Go Out And Have Sex With Hot Lesbians|tried yet again]] to reach out to Cole, this time through [[Facebook]], hoping that a flurry of hashtags would work their magic. In [[November 2015]] he returned to [[YouTube]] with a [[Family Needs to appreciate Family|video]] depiction of a battle in which Chris and his allies face off against Cole, [[David Alan Chandler|his other step-brother]], and his [[Carol Suzanne Chandler|step-sister]] in ''Super Smash Bros.''. "OUR Mother is Still Alive; I REALLY want you to make amends and get close, once again, to her before Her time runs out", he wrote in the description. The following day he arranged a [[Sonichu and Rosechu figure collection toy battle!|similar fight]] among his [[Amiibo]] figurines and angrily accused Cole of being possessed by the spirit of [[Count Graduon]]. He posted an image of his Cole Amiibo on Facebook. In this spat of postings Chris attempts to appear concerned about Cole not being around for their mother's twilight years, thinly veiling his [[Monthly Tugboat|real concerns]].<br />
<br />
Chris has two explanations for this falling-out with his half-brother, both fed to him by Barb. First, Cole has been entirely misled about Barb's character by the lies of other family members. "She is the opposite of what hate they filled Cole's head with", Chris asserts.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> Second, Cole's "mental problems" caused by his childhood injury mean that he has "taken it out heavily on our mother".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref> "Lord Knows What Else goes on through his head", Chris has concluded, demonstrating that more than anything else, Cole is almost entirely unknown to Chris. For the most part, the main trait Chris seems to be aware of regarding his half-brother is that he has a career and makes a living. This, in traditional Chris fashion, means opportunity and progressively his attempts to reach out have more and more focused on Cole financially supporting Chris and Barb, returning Chris to the idyllic balance he enjoyed with Bob as the responsible man in the house.<br />
<br />
In [[June 2016]], Chris posted a Facebook rant about Cole alleging that he and his wife spend two thousand dollars a month on rent for an apartment in Carnegie Hall.<ref>[[June 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref> Even though renting an apartment near Carnegie Hall can easily cost twice as much, this lack of research didn't stop Chris from depicting his half-brother as having money to "[[Chris and hypocrisy|piss and burn]]" while simultaneously [[Lego|begging]] [[Transformers|him]] [[PlayStation 4|for]] [[Chris and money|money]].<br />
<br />
In May 2017, Chris mocked Cole on Twitter, stating [[Hypocrisy|"Oh my gosh, my half brother is suddenly begging for money now"]]. Cole was asking his fans to pledge to him on Patreon,<ref>[https://youtube.com/watch?v=2SqUJhND-mY]</ref> suggesting he has also [[Financhu Crisis|hit rock bottom]]. Chris said he would pledge to him, but he still hasn't apologized or made up with Barb. Ironically, in screencaps obtained from [[Night Star]] by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], Chris would accidentally reveal the fact that he indeed tried to pledge to him but Cole had long since blocked him, making it clear once again that he really wanted nothing to do with his old life.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/night-star-delivers-christines-side-of-the-story.33062/</ref><br />
<br />
In December 2017, Chris wanted to drive to New York to confront Cole. He tried to channel his Sonichu power to conjure up Cole's address but was unsuccessful and did not attempt to make the trip.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref><br />
<br />
===Offering Cole's stuff for sale===<br />
{{see also|Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)|More of Cole’s Things for Sale}}<br />
<br />
Chris began offering pieces of Cole's belongings for sale via [[eBay]] in March 2018.<br />
<br />
==<span id="Professor Cole"></span>Cole in the comics==<br />
Throughout the original run of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']], Cole was only referenced in the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]] as "Professor Cole", assumed to be a version of Cole Smithey, listed as the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. Chris later marketed a custom Amiibo depicting Cole as a [[Jerkop]], seemingly foreshadowing his presence as a villain in the CWCville universe. It was not clear for several years whether the original "Professor Cole" character was [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|still canon]].<br />
<br />
Cole finally appears in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] as, indeed, a Jerkop, brainwashed by [[Count Graduon]]. [[Reldnahc]] uses Cole to "distract [Chris] with family" in order to get the drop on him. He is bizarrely depicted as a gray-haired, mustached old man with a trilby. Comic Chris immediately identifies him as his brother [[Chris and writing|despite Cole never appearing in the comic before]], made all the more confusing by the same battle also featuring Chris's imaginary [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|sister]] and [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|evil twin]].<br />
<br />
In 2019, Chris confirmed that Cole was the Pokémon Professor during 2003, but stated his "methods and ideals were varied", and his work was "faltering" by 2005, leading to his demotion in favour of a smoking-hot graduate whose body Chris describes in vivid detail. A year later, he "quite" and moved to New York to become a full-time movie reviewer.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-4-14-chris-makes-up-new-oc-to-spite-cole-smithey.55406/</ref><br />
<br />
==Gallery==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|Chris's gift to Cole in [[1998]]<br />
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''<br />
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.<br />
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.<br />
File:ColePostcardB.jpg|Postcard Cole sent to Barbara in 1994.<br />
File:ColePostcardA.jpg<br />
File:Cole Amiibo.jpg|Cole as a [[Jerkop]].<br />
File:26 June 2016 Cole Smithey drawing.jpeg<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]<br />
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/colesmithey/ Cole's YouTube channel]<br />
*[https://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa LinkedIn page]<br />
{{Not_Jerks}}<br />
{{People}}<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}<br />
[[Category:Family Members]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_writing&diff=250474Chris and writing2020-08-19T09:13:13Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Visual CLarity */</p>
<hr />
<div>: ''This article discusses Chris's writing from a literary perspective. For Chris's general abilities with written English, such as with spelling and grammar, see [[Chris and English#Written language]].''<br />
<br />
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|I do believe it wouldn’t be published, not because of the [[Chris and art|art style]], but because of the story. I mean, no one wants to read this.|Comic artist Mara Wild, on [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]].<ref>[https://areomagazine.com/2019/06/28/the-strangest-fandom-on-the-internet/ The Strangest Fandom on the Internet], 28 [[June 2019]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.<br />
<br />
== General problems ==<br />
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''<br />
<br />
At the heart of it, Chris's writing is rather two-faced. Despite the subject matter frequently being [[The Incredible Lioness|completely unsuitable for children]], Chris shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. But at times, he throws in (and misuses) [[College|college-level]] vocabulary words and attempts to use advanced sentence structure; he is quite fond of semicolons, even if he uses them to link together two unrelated sentences. The result is a confusing, jumbled writing style.<br />
<br />
Chris frequently pauses from the action to describe exactly what a character is wearing and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] [[Autism|in unnecessary detail]], even when it has no relevance to the plot. Inversely, he frequently [[Evan|glosses over important things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Even in "action" scenes, Chris will frequently pause in order to introduce something completely irrelevant.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> The overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. Also, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is generally considered lazy, cliched and ugly. Luckily, in [[Sonichu 12-9]], he moved on to Proxima Nova. <br />
<br />
Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and [[continuity|contradicts what has come before as he pleases]], unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience. He also often introduces and foreshadows seemingly important plot elements that [[Darkbind Sonichu|never substantially contribute to the plot]] or are dropped abruptly when Chris [[Anchuent prophecy|loses interest in them]].<br />
<br />
To the surprise of nobody, Chris is no [[Alec Benson Leary|Alan Moore]] and ''Sonichu'' is no ''[[Asperchu|Watchmen]]''. Chris makes no effort to work to the strengths of the comic medium, and instead approaches his comics more like a [[television]] series or [[anime]] in structure, using storytelling techniques and visual information that work in those mediums but not so well on paper. He is ignorant towards comic books and how they are supposed to work as a sequential narrative. Despite a desire to work for major companies like [[wikipedia:DC Comics|DC]], [[wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], [[wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse]] and [[wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie]], Chris has never shown any real interest towards those companies and their publications, though he did seem vaguely aware of the miniseries ''[[wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]]'' in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|one of the Alec calls]], criticizing its [[Sonichu 10|violent]] and [[Parody|parodic]] nature despite admitting to having [[Naïve|never read it]]. Within ''Sonichu'' itself, his Mary Sue insert has referred to the comic as an anime and himself as its director, and has given it ratings such as TV-14, etc., which only apply to television standards. ''Sonichu'' isn't so much a work designed to be a comic, but rather an economic storyboard and/or script for a hypothetical TV show or video game. <br />
<br />
=== Exposition ===<br />
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]<br />
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]<br />
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and a transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}<br />
<br />
A common thread in discussions of Creative Writing is the doctrine of "show, don't tell" when writing fiction; rather than having events merely be told to the reader through characters, if possible, the author should feature the scene as it happened, with the characters being a part of it. This point was clearly lost on Chris.<br />
<br />
As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref><br />
<br />
When Chris ripped off the comic Rosechu's Story for use in [[Sonichu 15]], he added in heavy exposition. When criticized by fans, Chris commented:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|[Rosechu's Story] definitely compares and contrasts to my own that goes beyond literal small talk. In my defense on the heavy dialogue: I have lots of wisdom and thoughts to share, so I digress.<br />
<br />
It beats saying one line, leaving it at that, and Not getting the explanation and thought across. Big difference between #TeenTitans and #TeenTitansGO: GO has decreased explanatory dialogue, and look at how crappy it is. The original show offers the greater detail in good ways.<ref>[[July 2019 social media posts]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks (some notable offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.), which shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In these cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told readers the same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.<br />
<br />
[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee! Hee!" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]<br />
<br />
=== Characterization ===<br />
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''<br />
<br />
Chris's characters, as they are written, are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. In his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|second call with Alec Benson Leary]] Chris explained that because he considers all of his characters to be very much real, living things that exist in [[C-197|some sort of cartoon universe]], giving them flaws would amount to tormenting a living creature (in the context of the conversation, Chris defended bleaching [[Asperchu]] into "Mitch Sonichu" because the character shouldn't have to suffer his original name). His general response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial. <br />
<br />
The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective, including [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|small children]]. <br />
<br />
This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities. All males (except for Chris) are superficial idiots who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are vacuous sluts who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully reveling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.<br />
<br />
Just as the protagonists are designed to be Chris's bland, homogenous vision of ideal heroism, the antagonists are simply evil for the sake of evil. The villains more often than not act with no apparent motivation whatsoever other than an abstractly contrived desire to bully Chris by sabotaging his heroic efforts to get a girlfriend. How they would prosper from this is unknown, especially considering that they have not once ever come close to defeating the Hedgehogs. Since Chris doesn't see the appeal in protagonists with flaws, he likewise doesn't see the appeal in villains with redeeming qualities (probably because most of his enemies are avatars of real people whom Chris genuinely believes are involved in a [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy]] against him). The closest thing to a sympathetic villain is [[Blake]], but only because he has a raging [[I am STRAIGHT|heterosexual]] libido just like all the other furries in the comic.<br />
<br />
Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating (in exposition, of course) something akin to "it just happened." With Blake, who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he defects to the side of good. His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] (who beat him almost to death a few issues prior) and a brief, nonchalant mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reasons the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. Blake isn't even the worst offender, either; no reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''. Despite last being seen as a rival to Chris, yet still ostensibly on his side, Wes is suddenly placed with the antagonists, long after seemingly becoming irrelevant in Chris's [[Chris and reality|reality]].<br />
<br />
===Dialogue===<br />
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because some people rarely get visual references."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his total ineptitude with emotions.<br />
<br />
Even when not textwalling, Chris's dialogue is highly unnatural. He appears to have no grasp of voice, with nearly all his characters using the same stilted tone, verbosity, and [[CWC-isms]]. This can easily be seen in early issues, where the phrase "[[boyfriend-free girl]]" pops up from multiple characters. This may be a symptom of his lacking theory of mind: he believes that, since he talks in this fashion, so does everybody else. The heavy-handedness, stiltedness, and single-mindedness of his dialogue can be seen as symptomatic of Chris's [[autism]].<br />
<br />
=== Plot and Drama ===<br />
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.<br />
<br />
Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Virtually every fight ends with the heroes winning almost immediately and with little difficulty. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis. Likewise, any instances emotional drama between characters are resolved immediately. <br />
<br />
An early exception to the above can be found in Sub-Episodes [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|#7 and #8]] in ''[[Sonichu 4]]'', in which Chris gets utterly curbstomped by [[Bagget]] and the [[Jerkops]] under his administration. Even then, Chris's defeat only really happened because ''no one was there to save him'', and was more or less made irrelevant with the arrival of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. The only time where a problem was resolved without an artificially cheery resolution was in [[Sonichu 11]], wherein [[Cera Rosechu]] fails to mend her relationship with [[Kevin the Jew]], though the character seems "over it" after crying a little about it.<br />
<br />
Similarly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends rather conclusively with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A terse preview for the following issue completely dismantles all the tension in the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to neutralising tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to prematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use the words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in the comic''.<br />
<br />
As you might guess, on top of everything else, this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unendurably boring.'''<br />
<br />
Ironically, the sole exception to this rule is [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris himself]] - but even this treatment is baffling. As the activities of Comic-Chris are based on his Creator, he is unable to simply resolve Chris's [[Love Quest]] quickly and easily ([[Lovely Weather|but it doesn't stop him from trying]]). Thus, even while his doppelganger accumulates more and more superpowers and allies, he is still shown being curiously ineffectual, unable to handle [[W-M-Manajerk|most]] [[Wes Iseli|threats]] without help, and before long, his insipid romantic efforts have become the sole outstanding arc. However, this is less the result of Chris's skill at dramatic writing and more his lack of skill with love and life; that Comic-Chris fails even with every [[Yu-Gi-Oh|card]] stacked in his favor only reflects that the real one does, too, and whenever Chris thinks his Love Quest might be over in real life, he attempts to give it [[Wedding Comic|the typical easy resolution]] in the comics as well.<br />
<br />
The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very abruptly, and often with no real logic or progression, just because they caught his fancy. For instance, there's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]]; he was just interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. The same goes for [[Darkbind Sonichu]]; Chris was simply interested in The Legend of Zelda and Darkwing Duck at that time, and wanted to put the two franchises in his comic, and after publishing [[Sonichu 0]], Chris lost interest in the story and abandoned the story until [[Sonichu 10]]. When Chris loses interest in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed (off-panel, no less) so that Chris can proceed to his next plotline of interest. Other dropped narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]] or [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]) might only get a sentence or two tying up the loose end, and some (e.g. [[Jiggliami]]) are simply never referred to again.<br />
<br />
The comic's narrative is yet further clouded by the unsteady rate at which Chris updates, along with his habit of occasionally working out of order. For example, Chris ends the last story in [[Sonichu 9]] with announcing that [[GodJesus]] had guided him to love with [[PandaHalo]] - only to have God and Jesus suddenly introduce him to Ivy in the very next issue with no explanation for why the Lord of Lords is backtracking on his dating advice to his favorite son.<br />
<br />
When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself from the action for ''almost'' two issues, and when it unceremoniously ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.<br />
<br />
=== <span id="Visual clarity"></span>Visual Clarity ===<br />
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]<br />
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]<br />
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]<br />
[[File:Son11p17.jpg|thumb|15 years of drawing ''Sonichu'' comics and Chris still can't lay out dialog.]]<br />
Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his work clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand (or perhaps care) that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.<br />
<br />
== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==<br />
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''<br />
<br />
{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her [[China|fancy]]; have her tickle my [[Duck|fancy]], and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].<br />
<br />
He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with bizarre neologisms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes he can't even manage to make it rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity''<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>).<br />
<br />
Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a stupid couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.<br />
<br />
== Chris as a journalist ==<br />
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]<br />
<br />
''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.<br />
<br />
Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact; Chris saw fit to document anything and everything that happened, including [[Honor roll|sleeping through class]]. At this early stage it seems that Chris was unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience the disapproval of peers that concerned him, as the reactions of Internet trolls would later. <br />
<br />
Chris's next journalistic effort came in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which operated under the characteristic presumption that the details of his daily life were of inherent reader interest. Funnily enough, his style is reminiscent of [[Wikipedia: Yellow journalism| Yellow Journalism]], being characterized by:<br />
<br />
*Little regard for conventional journalistic ethics or consistency.<br />
*[[Sonichu's News Dash#An indirect appeal to Mary|Scare headlines]] in huge print, often of [[Sonichu's News Dash#New Sonichu comics|minor news]].<br />
*Lavish use of pictures, or imaginary drawings.<br />
*Use of faked interviews, misleading headlines, pseudoscience, and [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris's dating tips|a parade of false learning from so-called experts]].<br />
*Emphasis on full-color Sunday [https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm supplements], usually with comic strips.<br />
*[[Ego|Conflicts of interest]]: Topics that affect the author directly, a big no-no in journalism (except in opinion pieces). <br />
*Dramatic sympathy with the "underdog" [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris on PowerWeb|against the system]].<br />
<br />
Chris [[Chris and his Ego|being Chris]] also incorporates elements from [[Wikipedia: Tabloid journalism| Tabloid journalism]], such as:<br />
<br />
*[[Mary Lee Walsh|Sensational crime stories]]<br />
*Gossip columns about [[Christian Weston Chandler|celebrities]] and [[Bionic the Hedgehog|sport stars]]<br />
*Junk food news<br />
<br />
After watching Sachumo's [[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)|Documentary]] about him, Chris gave his own ideas about the production of a similar piece. To the surprise of no one he wanted to focus [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|more on the positives]], like the people whose lives have been made better by [[Trolls|interacting with him]].<br />
<br />
== Chris as a blogger ==<br />
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on (such as they were; most updates were simply denouncements of [[Mary Lee Walsh|a certain Dean]]). The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format; instead of archiving and replacing old content with newer material, Chris simply stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting in an erratic and bizarre page layout. He also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results were only marginally easier to read.<br />
<br />
To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:<br />
*[[PSN Blogs]]<br />
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]<br />
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]<br />
*[[CWC Blog]]<br />
*[[Twitter]]<br />
<br />
The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, on a blog, one publishes one's opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]], as well as to try to incite action against his detractors.<br />
<br />
Another arguably more important fault with Chris's blogging is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring'''. Successful bloggers post about their life in much the same way as anybody else, but they know that they need to keep it entertaining to read. While Chris did unintentionally cause the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].<br />
<br />
Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris showed that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen. <br />
<br />
{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}<br />
<br />
==Chris as an essayist==<br />
{{Main|Manchester High Leaks}}<br />
<br />
While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer"; the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie", "potatoes/rice/pasta" and "meat"; and the conclusion as "dessert" ([[Obesity|anything related to food seems to reach Chris]]). Despite having such a sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were shallow and incoherent (in part this was a product of the assignment restrictions – his essay "Work vs. Student Life", for example, was only 100 words long). His history essay "Japan, 1912-1949", which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion (not to mention using WWI sources in points about WWII). His teacher understandably deemed it "very confusing & unclear". Another history essay, "Who was our best President?", does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment, he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."<br />
<br />
These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical (and what fiction he writes generally involves [[The High School Story|suspiciously familiar material]]). The only real exception has been "Chris Chan's Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future",<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref> his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is nothing to suggest that Chris ever learned even the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a fucking frowny face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject – himself – similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[CWCipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.<br />
<br />
== Chris's reading habits ==<br />
<br />
Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels by [[R.L. Stine]] which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a mere month prior, which in all likelihood he only mentioned because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* [[Chris and art]]<br />
* [[Chris and English]]<br />
* [[CWC's Diary]]<br />
* [[R.L. Stine]]<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Writings}}<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_writing&diff=250473Chris and writing2020-08-19T09:12:43Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Visual clarity */</p>
<hr />
<div>: ''This article discusses Chris's writing from a literary perspective. For Chris's general abilities with written English, such as with spelling and grammar, see [[Chris and English#Written language]].''<br />
<br />
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]<br />
{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
{{quote|I do believe it wouldn’t be published, not because of the [[Chris and art|art style]], but because of the story. I mean, no one wants to read this.|Comic artist Mara Wild, on [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]].<ref>[https://areomagazine.com/2019/06/28/the-strangest-fandom-on-the-internet/ The Strangest Fandom on the Internet], 28 [[June 2019]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.<br />
<br />
== General problems ==<br />
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''<br />
<br />
At the heart of it, Chris's writing is rather two-faced. Despite the subject matter frequently being [[The Incredible Lioness|completely unsuitable for children]], Chris shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. But at times, he throws in (and misuses) [[College|college-level]] vocabulary words and attempts to use advanced sentence structure; he is quite fond of semicolons, even if he uses them to link together two unrelated sentences. The result is a confusing, jumbled writing style.<br />
<br />
Chris frequently pauses from the action to describe exactly what a character is wearing and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] [[Autism|in unnecessary detail]], even when it has no relevance to the plot. Inversely, he frequently [[Evan|glosses over important things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Even in "action" scenes, Chris will frequently pause in order to introduce something completely irrelevant.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> The overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. Also, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is generally considered lazy, cliched and ugly. Luckily, in [[Sonichu 12-9]], he moved on to Proxima Nova. <br />
<br />
Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and [[continuity|contradicts what has come before as he pleases]], unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience. He also often introduces and foreshadows seemingly important plot elements that [[Darkbind Sonichu|never substantially contribute to the plot]] or are dropped abruptly when Chris [[Anchuent prophecy|loses interest in them]].<br />
<br />
To the surprise of nobody, Chris is no [[Alec Benson Leary|Alan Moore]] and ''Sonichu'' is no ''[[Asperchu|Watchmen]]''. Chris makes no effort to work to the strengths of the comic medium, and instead approaches his comics more like a [[television]] series or [[anime]] in structure, using storytelling techniques and visual information that work in those mediums but not so well on paper. He is ignorant towards comic books and how they are supposed to work as a sequential narrative. Despite a desire to work for major companies like [[wikipedia:DC Comics|DC]], [[wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], [[wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse]] and [[wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie]], Chris has never shown any real interest towards those companies and their publications, though he did seem vaguely aware of the miniseries ''[[wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]]'' in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|one of the Alec calls]], criticizing its [[Sonichu 10|violent]] and [[Parody|parodic]] nature despite admitting to having [[Naïve|never read it]]. Within ''Sonichu'' itself, his Mary Sue insert has referred to the comic as an anime and himself as its director, and has given it ratings such as TV-14, etc., which only apply to television standards. ''Sonichu'' isn't so much a work designed to be a comic, but rather an economic storyboard and/or script for a hypothetical TV show or video game. <br />
<br />
=== Exposition ===<br />
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]<br />
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]<br />
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and a transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}<br />
<br />
A common thread in discussions of Creative Writing is the doctrine of "show, don't tell" when writing fiction; rather than having events merely be told to the reader through characters, if possible, the author should feature the scene as it happened, with the characters being a part of it. This point was clearly lost on Chris.<br />
<br />
As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref><br />
<br />
When Chris ripped off the comic Rosechu's Story for use in [[Sonichu 15]], he added in heavy exposition. When criticized by fans, Chris commented:<br />
<br />
{{quotebox|[Rosechu's Story] definitely compares and contrasts to my own that goes beyond literal small talk. In my defense on the heavy dialogue: I have lots of wisdom and thoughts to share, so I digress.<br />
<br />
It beats saying one line, leaving it at that, and Not getting the explanation and thought across. Big difference between #TeenTitans and #TeenTitansGO: GO has decreased explanatory dialogue, and look at how crappy it is. The original show offers the greater detail in good ways.<ref>[[July 2019 social media posts]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks (some notable offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.), which shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In these cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told readers the same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.<br />
<br />
[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee! Hee!" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]<br />
<br />
=== Characterization ===<br />
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''<br />
<br />
Chris's characters, as they are written, are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. In his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|second call with Alec Benson Leary]] Chris explained that because he considers all of his characters to be very much real, living things that exist in [[C-197|some sort of cartoon universe]], giving them flaws would amount to tormenting a living creature (in the context of the conversation, Chris defended bleaching [[Asperchu]] into "Mitch Sonichu" because the character shouldn't have to suffer his original name). His general response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial. <br />
<br />
The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective, including [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|small children]]. <br />
<br />
This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities. All males (except for Chris) are superficial idiots who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are vacuous sluts who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully reveling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.<br />
<br />
Just as the protagonists are designed to be Chris's bland, homogenous vision of ideal heroism, the antagonists are simply evil for the sake of evil. The villains more often than not act with no apparent motivation whatsoever other than an abstractly contrived desire to bully Chris by sabotaging his heroic efforts to get a girlfriend. How they would prosper from this is unknown, especially considering that they have not once ever come close to defeating the Hedgehogs. Since Chris doesn't see the appeal in protagonists with flaws, he likewise doesn't see the appeal in villains with redeeming qualities (probably because most of his enemies are avatars of real people whom Chris genuinely believes are involved in a [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy]] against him). The closest thing to a sympathetic villain is [[Blake]], but only because he has a raging [[I am STRAIGHT|heterosexual]] libido just like all the other furries in the comic.<br />
<br />
Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating (in exposition, of course) something akin to "it just happened." With Blake, who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he defects to the side of good. His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] (who beat him almost to death a few issues prior) and a brief, nonchalant mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reasons the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. Blake isn't even the worst offender, either; no reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''. Despite last being seen as a rival to Chris, yet still ostensibly on his side, Wes is suddenly placed with the antagonists, long after seemingly becoming irrelevant in Chris's [[Chris and reality|reality]].<br />
<br />
===Dialogue===<br />
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because some people rarely get visual references."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his total ineptitude with emotions.<br />
<br />
Even when not textwalling, Chris's dialogue is highly unnatural. He appears to have no grasp of voice, with nearly all his characters using the same stilted tone, verbosity, and [[CWC-isms]]. This can easily be seen in early issues, where the phrase "[[boyfriend-free girl]]" pops up from multiple characters. This may be a symptom of his lacking theory of mind: he believes that, since he talks in this fashion, so does everybody else. The heavy-handedness, stiltedness, and single-mindedness of his dialogue can be seen as symptomatic of Chris's [[autism]].<br />
<br />
=== Plot and Drama ===<br />
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.<br />
<br />
Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Virtually every fight ends with the heroes winning almost immediately and with little difficulty. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis. Likewise, any instances emotional drama between characters are resolved immediately. <br />
<br />
An early exception to the above can be found in Sub-Episodes [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|#7 and #8]] in ''[[Sonichu 4]]'', in which Chris gets utterly curbstomped by [[Bagget]] and the [[Jerkops]] under his administration. Even then, Chris's defeat only really happened because ''no one was there to save him'', and was more or less made irrelevant with the arrival of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. The only time where a problem was resolved without an artificially cheery resolution was in [[Sonichu 11]], wherein [[Cera Rosechu]] fails to mend her relationship with [[Kevin the Jew]], though the character seems "over it" after crying a little about it.<br />
<br />
Similarly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends rather conclusively with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A terse preview for the following issue completely dismantles all the tension in the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to neutralising tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to prematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use the words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in the comic''.<br />
<br />
As you might guess, on top of everything else, this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unendurably boring.'''<br />
<br />
Ironically, the sole exception to this rule is [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris himself]] - but even this treatment is baffling. As the activities of Comic-Chris are based on his Creator, he is unable to simply resolve Chris's [[Love Quest]] quickly and easily ([[Lovely Weather|but it doesn't stop him from trying]]). Thus, even while his doppelganger accumulates more and more superpowers and allies, he is still shown being curiously ineffectual, unable to handle [[W-M-Manajerk|most]] [[Wes Iseli|threats]] without help, and before long, his insipid romantic efforts have become the sole outstanding arc. However, this is less the result of Chris's skill at dramatic writing and more his lack of skill with love and life; that Comic-Chris fails even with every [[Yu-Gi-Oh|card]] stacked in his favor only reflects that the real one does, too, and whenever Chris thinks his Love Quest might be over in real life, he attempts to give it [[Wedding Comic|the typical easy resolution]] in the comics as well.<br />
<br />
The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very abruptly, and often with no real logic or progression, just because they caught his fancy. For instance, there's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]]; he was just interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. The same goes for [[Darkbind Sonichu]]; Chris was simply interested in The Legend of Zelda and Darkwing Duck at that time, and wanted to put the two franchises in his comic, and after publishing [[Sonichu 0]], Chris lost interest in the story and abandoned the story until [[Sonichu 10]]. When Chris loses interest in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed (off-panel, no less) so that Chris can proceed to his next plotline of interest. Other dropped narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]] or [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]) might only get a sentence or two tying up the loose end, and some (e.g. [[Jiggliami]]) are simply never referred to again.<br />
<br />
The comic's narrative is yet further clouded by the unsteady rate at which Chris updates, along with his habit of occasionally working out of order. For example, Chris ends the last story in [[Sonichu 9]] with announcing that [[GodJesus]] had guided him to love with [[PandaHalo]] - only to have God and Jesus suddenly introduce him to Ivy in the very next issue with no explanation for why the Lord of Lords is backtracking on his dating advice to his favorite son.<br />
<br />
When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself from the action for ''almost'' two issues, and when it unceremoniously ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.<br />
<br />
=== <span id="Visual clarity"></span>Visual CLarity ===<br />
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]<br />
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]<br />
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]<br />
[[File:Son11p17.jpg|thumb|15 years of drawing ''Sonichu'' comics and Chris still can't lay out dialog.]]<br />
Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his work clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand (or perhaps care) that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.<br />
<br />
== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==<br />
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''<br />
<br />
{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her [[China|fancy]]; have her tickle my [[Duck|fancy]], and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}<br />
<br />
In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].<br />
<br />
He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with bizarre neologisms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes he can't even manage to make it rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity''<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>).<br />
<br />
Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a stupid couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.<br />
<br />
== Chris as a journalist ==<br />
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]<br />
<br />
''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.<br />
<br />
Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact; Chris saw fit to document anything and everything that happened, including [[Honor roll|sleeping through class]]. At this early stage it seems that Chris was unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience the disapproval of peers that concerned him, as the reactions of Internet trolls would later. <br />
<br />
Chris's next journalistic effort came in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which operated under the characteristic presumption that the details of his daily life were of inherent reader interest. Funnily enough, his style is reminiscent of [[Wikipedia: Yellow journalism| Yellow Journalism]], being characterized by:<br />
<br />
*Little regard for conventional journalistic ethics or consistency.<br />
*[[Sonichu's News Dash#An indirect appeal to Mary|Scare headlines]] in huge print, often of [[Sonichu's News Dash#New Sonichu comics|minor news]].<br />
*Lavish use of pictures, or imaginary drawings.<br />
*Use of faked interviews, misleading headlines, pseudoscience, and [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris's dating tips|a parade of false learning from so-called experts]].<br />
*Emphasis on full-color Sunday [https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews2.htm supplements], usually with comic strips.<br />
*[[Ego|Conflicts of interest]]: Topics that affect the author directly, a big no-no in journalism (except in opinion pieces). <br />
*Dramatic sympathy with the "underdog" [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris on PowerWeb|against the system]].<br />
<br />
Chris [[Chris and his Ego|being Chris]] also incorporates elements from [[Wikipedia: Tabloid journalism| Tabloid journalism]], such as:<br />
<br />
*[[Mary Lee Walsh|Sensational crime stories]]<br />
*Gossip columns about [[Christian Weston Chandler|celebrities]] and [[Bionic the Hedgehog|sport stars]]<br />
*Junk food news<br />
<br />
After watching Sachumo's [[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)|Documentary]] about him, Chris gave his own ideas about the production of a similar piece. To the surprise of no one he wanted to focus [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|more on the positives]], like the people whose lives have been made better by [[Trolls|interacting with him]].<br />
<br />
== Chris as a blogger ==<br />
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on (such as they were; most updates were simply denouncements of [[Mary Lee Walsh|a certain Dean]]). The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format; instead of archiving and replacing old content with newer material, Chris simply stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting in an erratic and bizarre page layout. He also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results were only marginally easier to read.<br />
<br />
To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:<br />
*[[PSN Blogs]]<br />
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]<br />
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]<br />
*[[CWC Blog]]<br />
*[[Twitter]]<br />
<br />
The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, on a blog, one publishes one's opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]], as well as to try to incite action against his detractors.<br />
<br />
Another arguably more important fault with Chris's blogging is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring'''. Successful bloggers post about their life in much the same way as anybody else, but they know that they need to keep it entertaining to read. While Chris did unintentionally cause the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].<br />
<br />
Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris showed that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen. <br />
<br />
{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}<br />
<br />
==Chris as an essayist==<br />
{{Main|Manchester High Leaks}}<br />
<br />
While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer"; the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie", "potatoes/rice/pasta" and "meat"; and the conclusion as "dessert" ([[Obesity|anything related to food seems to reach Chris]]). Despite having such a sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were shallow and incoherent (in part this was a product of the assignment restrictions – his essay "Work vs. Student Life", for example, was only 100 words long). His history essay "Japan, 1912-1949", which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion (not to mention using WWI sources in points about WWII). His teacher understandably deemed it "very confusing & unclear". Another history essay, "Who was our best President?", does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment, he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."<br />
<br />
These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical (and what fiction he writes generally involves [[The High School Story|suspiciously familiar material]]). The only real exception has been "Chris Chan's Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future",<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref> his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is nothing to suggest that Chris ever learned even the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a fucking frowny face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject – himself – similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[CWCipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.<br />
<br />
== Chris's reading habits ==<br />
<br />
Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels by [[R.L. Stine]] which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a mere month prior, which in all likelihood he only mentioned because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* [[Chris and art]]<br />
* [[Chris and English]]<br />
* [[CWC's Diary]]<br />
* [[R.L. Stine]]<br />
<br />
== Sources ==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Writings}}<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_14&diff=250471Sonichu 142020-08-19T09:02:16Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about ''Sonichu'' #14's redesignated plot on the [[Dimensional Merge]]. For the original plot on Count Graduon, see'' [[Sonichu 16|Sonichu ''#16'']]<br />
<br />
{{Draft}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #14<br />
| cover = Sonichu14NEWCover.jpg <br />
| coverdate = 26 [[June 2019]]<br />
| finishedcomic = ''In Progress''<br />
| pagecount = 25 (incomplete so far)<br />
| episodes = 1 (incomplete so far)<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #14''', officially '''''The Awakening of a CPU Book Two''''', is the 16th issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. On June 2019, Chris announced that ''Sonichu'' #14's plot would be reassigned. Instead of the comic being about [[Count Graduon]]'s origin story, it would be instead about the [[Dimensional Merge]] (the episode of Count Graduon's origin story was instead assigned to [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]]).<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Back on drawing track]]</ref><br />
Just like [[Sonichu 13|the previous issue]], this comic is accompanied with large walls of expository text surrounding sparse drawings on each page. Whether or not Chris intends to make the comic [[Chris and Writing#Visual Clarity|easier to read]] by doing so is questionable.<br />
<br />
This issue describes the events leading up to the [[Dimensional Merge]], the event in which the two [[dimensions]], 1218 and C-197, will merge into one dimension, 1C-211987. The first eight pages were released on 27 June 2019, successfully breaking Chris's 148-day-long artistic hiatus.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/6-26-new-sonichu-book-on-events-leading-up-to-merge.57832/</ref><br />
==The Story so Far==<br />
<br />
===Recap===<br />
Our story begins with Chris briefly introducing himself as a one of [[The 69 Destined Sonichus and Rosechus]] and his discovery of Universe C-197, where all the [[OC|fictional characters]] exist peacefully. He then introduces [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], and [[Magi-Chan]] and his future [[Polyamorous marriage|spouses]].<br />
<br />
Fast forwards to the event of [[Sonichu 13]], Chris recaps the events on his introduction of the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPUs goddesses of video game consoles]] and his "heroic" actions to save the denizens of [[Cwcville|City-State]] and Equestria from the evil clutches of [[Idea Guys|Joshua Wise]] and his OC, Johnson Wiles. Using the power of a magic Milk Dud (i.e. The Reality Stone), Chris would undo everything the Idea Guy changed Chris didn't like and punish him for it. Afterward, Chris accepted the mantle of Blue Heart, the CPU Goddesses of the Commodore consoles and the nation of Comma.<br />
<br />
Fast forward again to the present, Chris would make claims of his increased [[PsychicPowers|psychic]] and electrical powers (actually his declining mental and physical health). This is due to the fact that he is one of the "[[Chris and ego|Central Deity Conduits]]" for the [[Dimensional Merge]], an event where the universe of [[1218]] and [[C-197]] merge as one.<br />
<br />
Chris then talks about his husband Magi-Chan in a text wall, who he claims knew before the Idea Guys' indoctrination. He looks back to BronyCon 2017, where he claimed Magi-Chan came along and even [[BronyCon#Dancing_with_Magi-Chan|danced with him]]. He ends the spiel by thanking himself for surviving a bout of heartburn and wished by the time he [[Template:Begging Counter|finishes]] the comic, the Merge will be complete.<br />
<br />
===Chris (and Magi-Chan)'s Journey into his Mind===<br />
One empty page later and it's 28 June 2019, after rebuilding the Comma <abbr title="A place of worship for the followers of the CPUs">Basilicom</abbr> and reactivating his and Scarlett's <abbr title="Crystallized form of the faith of CPU's followers">Sharicite</abbr> in Cwcville, Chris saw a doctor for a follow-up for his Monday night traumas. The doctor diagnosed him with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|a gastrointestinal problem]], but not before being wowed by Chris's demonstration of his [[PsychicPowers|psychic powers]].<br />
<br />
Two days later, Chris lost his consciousness in his sleep. With Chris now trapped in a state of dream-like limbo, his spouses, along with Princess Luna attempted to regain Chris's ability to lucid dream in vain. After failing to rescue Chris with the assistance of many deities, Magi-Chan decided to take a "direct approach" by taking his half-asleep hubby through a journey through his mind. Clearing out hordes of old, useless memories stored in Pokeballs to reach a special subspace where he and the other deities from all over the multiverse meet in a round-table. There, they would find a way for Chris to lucid dream again.<br />
<br />
===Chris vs Jakoba===<br />
Some point later, [[Jakoba]], the Rokat god of war usurped the throne of the "God of Galaxy and Creation, Destruction" etc. In response, Chris calls upon the ponies Mary Sue and Gary Stu to depose and kill Jakoba, which they do so easily. The death of C-197's Jakoba would also cause a ripple effect in Universe 1218, where the Jakoba there would die across different timeline, wiping him from existence for good. After a one-sided vote, Mary Sue and Gary Stu would become acting gods for they plan to give Jakoba's title to someone more worthy.<br />
<br />
===BronyCon 2019===<br />
On 31 July 2019, after defeating Jakoba, Chris would sperg in great details on the day before his last BronyCon, which involves sleeping in irregular schedules, doing groceries, and using his "psychic powers" to communicate with his imaginary spouses and look into equally imaginary problems. The next day at 5:30 am, Chris, along with Magi-Chan, [[Cryzel]], and [[Sylvana]] head out to Baltimore to attend BronyCon. <br />
<br />
On their way, Chris had a sudden vision of a dark counterpart (implied to be an incarnation of his past comic self) and his army attempting to [[Math|invade]] [[14 Branchland Court]] to seize the many [[Amnyfest Ring|magic gems]] in his [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. Despite the efforts of [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mewtwo]], who stayed behind, the two are forced to retreat and take the gems with them with the help of Magi-Chan.<br />
<br />
Chris and his buddies arrived early, so they do several activities which include double-checking their schedules, eating their first churros, and taking selfies with a dozen fans. It was during this time where he met his friend Midnight Moonflower again. After checking out his hotel, Chris would meet several of his idols, most notably [[Amy Methven|Mad Munchkin]] and [[DRWolf]].<br />
<br />
After lunch, Chris made it in time to witness the premiere of a MLP parody of the 1987 classic film ''The Princess Bride''. Later, he would attend a motivational speaking panel where he would "learn" the values of turning trolling and criticism into something positive.<br />
<br />
Day 2: Chris spends his day interacting many voice actresses and other notable fandom figures of MLP be in a form of getting autographs, trading items, and attending panels. After leaving for supper and changing into his cosplay gears, he made it in time to attend the Grand Galloping Gala, where he would sing and dance along. After dancing with his imaginary spouses like two years ago, Chris would meet up with his fans, attend a Brony fandom history panel, and went back to his hotel, looking forward to meet the [[TF2 Analysts]] tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Chris then digresses into discussing how he briefly filled in the role of the RED Spy for the TF2 Analysts before describing the 3rd day of BronyCon. Arriving at 9 am, Chris attends the TF2 Analysts' panel, where he watched the first part of their series "Red vs Blue" and meet and greeted as much members as possible.<br />
<br />
After that, he got several autographs, including that of the franchise's creator Lauren Faust who he gave her gifts and asked questions over G1 of the series. Chris, along with a plush of Night Star, then attended Bronypalooza to attend a concert before attending Fiery Joker's ''Magic the Gathering'' panel. Chris would find inspiration in the panel, vowing to design a [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|Sonichu and Night Star themed expansion]].<br />
<br />
Chris would spend the final day attempting to deliver gifts to the remaining members of the TF2 analysts before meeting and asking Silver Quill (a member) to do it for him. He attended one more panel and got one more autograph before heading home.<br />
<br />
==Comic pages==<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Pages from ''Sonichu'' #14<br />
|<gallery><br />
File:MergeComic1.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic2.jpg|Chris's face on the 2nd panel of this page is much creepier than his typical [[creepy stare]]. <br />
File:MergeComic3.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic4.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic5.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic6.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic7.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic8.jpg|Arguably the best page in all of ''Sonichu''.<br />
File:MergeComic11.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic12.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p15.jpg|[[Jacob Sockness]] inserts his OC, Jakoba, into Chris's beliefs.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p17.jpg|Beginning of Chris's [[BronyCon]] diary.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p18.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p19.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p20.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p21.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p22.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p23.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p24.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p25.jpg <br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_14&diff=250407Sonichu 142020-08-18T11:58:53Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about ''Sonichu'' #14's redesignated plot on the [[Dimensional Merge]]. For the original plot on Count Graduon, see'' [[Sonichu 16|Sonichu ''#16'']]<br />
<br />
{{Draft}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #14<br />
| cover = Sonichu14NEWCover.jpg <br />
| coverdate = 26 [[June 2019]]<br />
| finishedcomic = ''In Progress''<br />
| pagecount = 25 (incomplete so far)<br />
| episodes = 1 (incomplete so far)<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #14''', officially '''''The Awakening of a CPU Book Two''''', is the 16th issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. On June 2019, Chris announced that ''Sonichu'' #14's plot would be reassigned. Instead of the comic being about [[Count Graduon]]'s origin story, it would be instead about the [[Dimensional Merge]] (the episode of Count Graduon's origin story was instead assigned to [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]]).<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Back on drawing track]]</ref><br />
Just like Sonichu 14, this comic is accompanied with large walls of expository text surrounding sparse drawings on each page. Whether or not Chris intends to make the comic [[Chris and Writing|easier to read]] by doing so is questionable.<br />
<br />
This issue describes the events leading up to the [[Dimensional Merge]], the event in which the two [[dimensions]], 1218 and C-197, will merge into one dimension, 1C-211987. The first eight pages were released on 27 June 2019, successfully breaking Chris's 148-day-long artistic hiatus.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/6-26-new-sonichu-book-on-events-leading-up-to-merge.57832/</ref><br />
==The Story so Far==<br />
<br />
===Recap===<br />
Our story begins with Chris briefly introducing himself as a one of [[The 69 Destined Sonichus and Rosechus]] and his discovery of Universe C-197, where all the [[OC|fictional characters]] exist peacefully. He then introduces [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], and [[Magi-Chan]] and his future [[Polyamorous marriage|spouses]].<br />
<br />
Fast forwards to the event of [[Sonichu 13]], Chris recaps the events on his introduction of the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPUs goddesses of video game consoles]] and his "heroic" actions to save the denizens of [[Cwcville|City-State]] and Equestria from the evil clutches of [[Idea Guys|Joshua Wise]] and his OC, Johnson Wiles. Using the power of a magic Milk Dud (i.e. The Reality Stone), Chris would undo everything the Idea Guy changed Chris didn't like and punish him for it. Afterward, Chris accepted the mantle of Blue Heart, the CPU Goddesses of the Commodore consoles and the nation of Comma.<br />
<br />
Fast forward again to the present, Chris would make claims of his increased [[PsychicPowers|psychic]] and electrical powers (actually his declining mental and physical health). This is due to the fact that he is one of the "[[Chris and ego|Central Deity Conduits]]" for the [[Dimensional Merge]], an event where the universe of [[1218]] and [[C-197]] merge as one.<br />
<br />
Chris then talks about his husband Magi-Chan in a text wall, who he claims knew before the Idea Guys' indoctrination. He looks back to BronyCon 2017, where he claimed Magi-Chan came along and even [[BronyCon#Dancing_with_Magi-Chan|danced with him]]. He ends the spiel by thanking himself for surviving a bout of heartburn and wished by the time he [[Template:Begging Counter|finishes]] the comic, the Merge will be complete.<br />
<br />
===Chris (and Magi-Chan)'s Journey into his Mind===<br />
One empty page later and it's 28 June 2019, after rebuilding the Comma <abbr title="A place of worship for the followers of the CPUs">Basilicom</abbr> and reactivating his and Scarlett's <abbr title="Crystallized form of the faith of CPU's followers">Sharicite</abbr> in Cwcville, Chris saw a doctor for a follow-up for his Monday night traumas. The doctor diagnosed him with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|a gastrointestinal problem]], but not before being wowed by Chris's demonstration of his [[PsychicPowers|psychic powers]].<br />
<br />
Two days later, Chris lost his consciousness in his sleep. With Chris now trapped in a state of dream-like limbo, his spouses, along with Princess Luna attempted to regain Chris's ability to lucid dream in vain. After failing to rescue Chris with the assistance of many deities, Magi-Chan decided to take a "direct approach" by taking his half-asleep hubby through a journey through his mind. Clearing out hordes of old, useless memories stored in Pokeballs to reach a special subspace where he and the other deities from all over the multiverse meet in a round-table. There, they would find a way for Chris to lucid dream again.<br />
<br />
===Chris vs Jakoba===<br />
Some point later, [[Jakoba]], the Rokat god of war usurped the throne of the "God of Galaxy and Creation, Destruction" etc. In response, Chris calls upon the ponies Mary Sue and Gary Stu to depose and kill Jakoba, which they do so easily. The death of C-197's Jakoba would also cause a ripple effect in Universe 1218, where the Jakoba there would die across different timeline, wiping him from existence for good. After a one-sided vote, Mary Sue and Gary Stu would become acting gods for they plan to give Jakoba's title to someone more worthy.<br />
<br />
===BronyCon 2019===<br />
On 31 July 2019, after defeating Jakoba, Chris would sperg in great details on the day before his last BronyCon, which involves sleeping in irregular schedules, doing groceries, and using his "psychic powers" to communicate with his imaginary spouses and look into equally imaginary problems. The next day at 5:30 am, Chris, along with Magi-Chan, [[Cryzel]], and [[Sylvana]] head out to Baltimore to attend BronyCon. <br />
<br />
On their way, Chris had a sudden vision of a dark counterpart (implied to be an incarnation of his past comic self) and his army attempting to [[Math|invade]] [[14 Branchland Court]] to seize the many [[Amnyfest Ring|magic gems]] in his [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. Despite the efforts of [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mewtwo]], who stayed behind, the two are forced to retreat and take the gems with them with the help of Magi-Chan.<br />
<br />
Chris and his buddies arrived early, so they do several activities which include double-checking their schedules, eating their first churros, and taking selfies with a dozen fans. It was during this time where he met his friend Midnight Moonflower again. After checking out his hotel, Chris would meet several of his idols, most notably [[Amy Methven|Mad Munchkin]] and [[DRWolf]].<br />
<br />
After lunch, Chris made it in time to witness the premiere of a MLP parody of the 1987 classic film ''The Princess Bride''. Later, he would attend a motivational speaking panel where he would "learn" the values of turning trolling and criticism into something positive.<br />
<br />
Day 2: Chris spends his day interacting many voice actresses and other notable fandom figures of MLP be in a form of getting autographs, trading items, and attending panels. After leaving for supper and changing into his cosplay gears, he made it in time to attend the Grand Galloping Gala, where he would sing and dance along. After dancing with his imaginary spouses like two years ago, Chris would meet up with his fans, attend a Brony fandom history panel, and went back to his hotel, looking forward to meet the [[TF2 Analysts]] tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Chris then digresses into discussing how he briefly filled in the role of the RED Spy for the TF2 Analysts before describing the 3rd day of BronyCon. Arriving at 9 am, Chris attends the TF2 Analysts' panel, where he watched the first part of their series "Red vs Blue" and meet and greeted as much members as possible.<br />
<br />
After that, he got several autographs, including that of the franchise's creator Lauren Faust who he gave her gifts and asked questions over G1 of the series. Chris, along with a plush of Night Star, then attended Bronypalooza to attend a concert before attending Fiery Joker's ''Magic the Gathering'' panel. Chris would find inspiration in the panel, vowing to design a [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|Sonichu and Night Star themed expansion]].<br />
<br />
Chris would spend the final day attempting to deliver gifts to the remaining members of the TF2 analysts before meeting and asking Silver Quill (a member) to do it for him. He attended one more panel and got one more autograph before heading home.<br />
<br />
==Comic pages==<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Pages from ''Sonichu'' #14<br />
|<gallery><br />
File:MergeComic1.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic2.jpg|Chris's face on the 2nd panel of this page is much creepier than his typical [[creepy stare]]. <br />
File:MergeComic3.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic4.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic5.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic6.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic7.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic8.jpg|Arguably the best page in all of ''Sonichu''.<br />
File:MergeComic11.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic12.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p15.jpg|[[Jacob Sockness]] inserts his OC, Jakoba, into Chris's beliefs.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p17.jpg|Beginning of Chris's [[BronyCon]] diary.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p18.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p19.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p20.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p21.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p22.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p23.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p24.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p25.jpg <br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams/sandbox&diff=250406User:Esteemed hams/sandbox2020-08-18T11:57:14Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div><br />
== Why? ==<br />
Because I want to be able to plan my work out without publishing it first.<br />
<br />
==Alcohol==<br />
Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary, but may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Death|problems]] in the near future.<br />
<br />
== Florianne's [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|IMG 0176]] Transcript (eventually fixed by User:Byzantine) ==<br />
<br />
hello this is<br />
hello this is sanchu in the body of<br />
mama christine weston chandler sonichu<br />
okay chris chancellor<br />
anyway i'm recording this as a video<br />
will<br />
with my wife rosie rose tuesday next to<br />
me for any<br />
for in the event anything happens to me<br />
and this one body that belongs to mama<br />
chris chan<br />
anything happens including a very likely<br />
just<br />
vanish from this dimension this body in<br />
me<br />
and this house gets left behind and<br />
anything else that happens to the<br />
transport in this timeline before the<br />
timeline changes<br />
i wish to hereby bequeath<br />
all my remaining percent all of the<br />
remaining possessions between mine<br />
and mamas that are in in their this<br />
household<br />
and within the area of this temple i<br />
relinquish all i will relinquish all<br />
that<br />
to megan kathleen<br />
ringo who lives in the state of<br />
washington<br />
so simply i simply have to be sure to<br />
come over to come<br />
to help sort things out and<br />
she and if she feels like it she can<br />
move in and help<br />
as well but that's a whole other thing<br />
that's a fan going good click click like<br />
the air conditioner just died out<br />
so i have to take that as a sign<br />
uh anyway aside from that um also<br />
on another note<br />
that set but i would also<br />
like to also help out around the house<br />
who lives here in the state of virginia<br />
one kevin fairchild who lives in<br />
fisherfield<br />
i'd like him to<br />
barbara you're gonna let him move in you<br />
gotta let him move in<br />
you're gonna help you with any remaining<br />
things and artifacts within this house<br />
and megan you'll have to work with him<br />
as well<br />
he's very genuine very kind i believe<br />
you both will get along very well<br />
and this will definitely work out<br />
because you know me<br />
i'm going into c197<br />
our alternate dimension and i'm gonna<br />
end up uh<br />
02:38<br />
powering up this body unlocking it's all<br />
of its alternate forms and everything<br />
i you know me i'm a little bit this<br />
brain is so disorganized so<br />
by language is not exactly syncing up at<br />
times<br />
but yeah anyway everything goes to<br />
everything if chris everything of mine<br />
and<br />
christine weston chandler sanchez<br />
they go to megan kathleen ringo<br />
and i want<br />
kevin fairchild to come and move in as<br />
well<br />
because barbara's gonna need as much<br />
help as possible on the event that this<br />
house this temple just<br />
stays behind while if the event that i<br />
just suddenly vanish without this house<br />
and leaving it and everything else<br />
behind<br />
and in that case also uh being obvious<br />
this body would not stand back because<br />
it's one and only it's<br />
one and only the eyes linked to this one<br />
brain<br />
if you only knew camera zero zero zero<br />
now everybody else the true first person<br />
perspective<br />
so many things in my mind so please for<br />
me if i seem a little bit erratic but<br />
this is my last video will and testament<br />
on behalf of christine weston chandler<br />
sanchez<br />
was born as christopher weston chandler<br />
to barbara and robert chandler in this<br />
dimension<br />
in this timeline i'll leave y'all with<br />
that<br />
and the attorney who will handle the<br />
case and all that and helping<br />
them at all or anybody else helping them<br />
get situated with the situation and all<br />
that so<br />
thank you<br />
<br />
== Sonichu 14 ==<br />
Just like Sonichu 14, this comic is accompanied with large walls of expository text surrounding sparse drawings on each page. Whether or not Chris intends to make the comic [[Chris and Writing|easier to read]] by doing so is questionable.</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_14&diff=250405Sonichu 142020-08-18T11:47:27Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* BronyCon 2019 */</p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about ''Sonichu'' #14's redesignated plot on the [[Dimensional Merge]]. For the original plot on Count Graduon, see'' [[Sonichu 16|Sonichu ''#16'']]<br />
<br />
{{Draft}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #14<br />
| cover = Sonichu14NEWCover.jpg <br />
| coverdate = 26 [[June 2019]]<br />
| finishedcomic = ''In Progress''<br />
| pagecount = 25 (incomplete so far)<br />
| episodes = 1 (incomplete so far)<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #14''', officially '''''The Awakening of a CPU Book Two''''', is the 16th issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. On June 2019, Chris announced that ''Sonichu'' #14's plot would be reassigned. Instead of the comic being about [[Count Graduon]]'s origin story, it would be instead about the [[Dimensional Merge]] (the episode of Count Graduon's origin story was instead assigned to [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]]).<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Back on drawing track]]</ref><br />
<br />
This issue describes the events leading up to the [[Dimensional Merge]], the event in which the two [[dimensions]], 1218 and C-197, will merge into one dimension, 1C-211987. The first eight pages were released on 27 June 2019, successfully breaking Chris's 148-day-long artistic hiatus.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/6-26-new-sonichu-book-on-events-leading-up-to-merge.57832/</ref><br />
==The Story so Far==<br />
<br />
===Recap===<br />
Our story begins with Chris briefly introducing himself as a one of [[The 69 Destined Sonichus and Rosechus]] and his discovery of Universe C-197, where all the [[OC|fictional characters]] exist peacefully. He then introduces [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], and [[Magi-Chan]] and his future [[Polyamorous marriage|spouses]].<br />
<br />
Fast forwards to the event of [[Sonichu 13]], Chris recaps the events on his introduction of the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPUs goddesses of video game consoles]] and his "heroic" actions to save the denizens of [[Cwcville|City-State]] and Equestria from the evil clutches of [[Idea Guys|Joshua Wise]] and his OC, Johnson Wiles. Using the power of a magic Milk Dud (i.e. The Reality Stone), Chris would undo everything the Idea Guy changed Chris didn't like and punish him for it. Afterward, Chris accepted the mantle of Blue Heart, the CPU Goddesses of the Commodore consoles and the nation of Comma.<br />
<br />
Fast forward again to the present, Chris would make claims of his increased [[PsychicPowers|psychic]] and electrical powers (actually his declining mental and physical health). This is due to the fact that he is one of the "[[Chris and ego|Central Deity Conduits]]" for the [[Dimensional Merge]], an event where the universe of [[1218]] and [[C-197]] merge as one.<br />
<br />
Chris then talks about his husband Magi-Chan in a text wall, who he claims knew before the Idea Guys' indoctrination. He looks back to BronyCon 2017, where he claimed Magi-Chan came along and even [[BronyCon#Dancing_with_Magi-Chan|danced with him]]. He ends the spiel by thanking himself for surviving a bout of heartburn and wished by the time he [[Template:Begging Counter|finishes]] the comic, the Merge will be complete.<br />
<br />
===Chris (and Magi-Chan)'s Journey into his Mind===<br />
One empty page later and it's 28 June 2019, after rebuilding the Comma <abbr title="A place of worship for the followers of the CPUs">Basilicom</abbr> and reactivating his and Scarlett's <abbr title="Crystallized form of the faith of CPU's followers">Sharicite</abbr> in Cwcville, Chris saw a doctor for a follow-up for his Monday night traumas. The doctor diagnosed him with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|a gastrointestinal problem]], but not before being wowed by Chris's demonstration of his [[PsychicPowers|psychic powers]].<br />
<br />
Two days later, Chris lost his consciousness in his sleep. With Chris now trapped in a state of dream-like limbo, his spouses, along with Princess Luna attempted to regain Chris's ability to lucid dream in vain. After failing to rescue Chris with the assistance of many deities, Magi-Chan decided to take a "direct approach" by taking his half-asleep hubby through a journey through his mind. Clearing out hordes of old, useless memories stored in Pokeballs to reach a special subspace where he and the other deities from all over the multiverse meet in a round-table. There, they would find a way for Chris to lucid dream again.<br />
<br />
===Chris vs Jakoba===<br />
Some point later, [[Jakoba]], the Rokat god of war usurped the throne of the "God of Galaxy and Creation, Destruction" etc. In response, Chris calls upon the ponies Mary Sue and Gary Stu to depose and kill Jakoba, which they do so easily. The death of C-197's Jakoba would also cause a ripple effect in Universe 1218, where the Jakoba there would die across different timeline, wiping him from existence for good. After a one-sided vote, Mary Sue and Gary Stu would become acting gods for they plan to give Jakoba's title to someone more worthy.<br />
<br />
===BronyCon 2019===<br />
On 31 July 2019, after defeating Jakoba, Chris would sperg in great details on the day before his last BronyCon, which involves sleeping in irregular schedules, doing groceries, and using his "psychic powers" to communicate with his imaginary spouses and look into equally imaginary problems. The next day at 5:30 am, Chris, along with Magi-Chan, [[Cryzel]], and [[Sylvana]] head out to Baltimore to attend BronyCon. <br />
<br />
On their way, Chris had a sudden vision of a dark counterpart (implied to be an incarnation of his past comic self) and his army attempting to [[Math|invade]] [[14 Branchland Court]] to seize the many [[Amnyfest Ring|magic gems]] in his [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. Despite the efforts of [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mewtwo]], who stayed behind, the two are forced to retreat and take the gems with them with the help of Magi-Chan.<br />
<br />
Chris and his buddies arrived early, so they do several activities which include double-checking their schedules, eating their first churros, and taking selfies with a dozen fans. It was during this time where he met his friend Midnight Moonflower again. After checking out his hotel, Chris would meet several of his idols, most notably [[Amy Methven|Mad Munchkin]] and [[DRWolf]].<br />
<br />
After lunch, Chris made it in time to witness the premiere of a MLP parody of the 1987 classic film ''The Princess Bride''. Later, he would attend a motivational speaking panel where he would "learn" the values of turning trolling and criticism into something positive.<br />
<br />
Day 2: Chris spends his day interacting many voice actresses and other notable fandom figures of MLP be in a form of getting autographs, trading items, and attending panels. After leaving for supper and changing into his cosplay gears, he made it in time to attend the Grand Galloping Gala, where he would sing and dance along. After dancing with his imaginary spouses like two years ago, Chris would meet up with his fans, attend a Brony fandom history panel, and went back to his hotel, looking forward to meet the [[TF2 Analysts]] tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Chris then digresses into discussing how he briefly filled in the role of the RED Spy for the TF2 Analysts before describing the 3rd day of BronyCon. Arriving at 9 am, Chris attends the TF2 Analysts' panel, where he watched the first part of their series "Red vs Blue" and meet and greeted as much members as possible.<br />
<br />
After that, he got several autographs, including that of the franchise's creator Lauren Faust who he gave her gifts and asked questions over G1 of the series. Chris, along with a plush of Night Star, then attended Bronypalooza to attend a concert before attending Fiery Joker's ''Magic the Gathering'' panel. Chris would find inspiration in the panel, vowing to design a [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|Sonichu and Night Star themed expansion]].<br />
<br />
Chris would spend the final day attempting to deliver gifts to the remaining members of the TF2 analysts before meeting and asking Silver Quill (a member) to do it for him. He attended one more panel and got one more autograph before heading home.<br />
<br />
==Comic pages==<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Pages from ''Sonichu'' #14<br />
|<gallery><br />
File:MergeComic1.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic2.jpg|Chris's face on the 2nd panel of this page is much creepier than his typical [[creepy stare]]. <br />
File:MergeComic3.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic4.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic5.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic6.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic7.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic8.jpg|Arguably the best page in all of ''Sonichu''.<br />
File:MergeComic11.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic12.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p15.jpg|[[Jacob Sockness]] inserts his OC, Jakoba, into Chris's beliefs.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p17.jpg|Beginning of Chris's [[BronyCon]] diary.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p18.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p19.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p20.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p21.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p22.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p23.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p24.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p25.jpg <br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_14&diff=250404Sonichu 142020-08-18T11:46:53Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* BronyCon 2019 */</p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about ''Sonichu'' #14's redesignated plot on the [[Dimensional Merge]]. For the original plot on Count Graduon, see'' [[Sonichu 16|Sonichu ''#16'']]<br />
<br />
{{Draft}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #14<br />
| cover = Sonichu14NEWCover.jpg <br />
| coverdate = 26 [[June 2019]]<br />
| finishedcomic = ''In Progress''<br />
| pagecount = 25 (incomplete so far)<br />
| episodes = 1 (incomplete so far)<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #14''', officially '''''The Awakening of a CPU Book Two''''', is the 16th issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. On June 2019, Chris announced that ''Sonichu'' #14's plot would be reassigned. Instead of the comic being about [[Count Graduon]]'s origin story, it would be instead about the [[Dimensional Merge]] (the episode of Count Graduon's origin story was instead assigned to [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]]).<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Back on drawing track]]</ref><br />
<br />
This issue describes the events leading up to the [[Dimensional Merge]], the event in which the two [[dimensions]], 1218 and C-197, will merge into one dimension, 1C-211987. The first eight pages were released on 27 June 2019, successfully breaking Chris's 148-day-long artistic hiatus.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/6-26-new-sonichu-book-on-events-leading-up-to-merge.57832/</ref><br />
==The Story so Far==<br />
<br />
===Recap===<br />
Our story begins with Chris briefly introducing himself as a one of [[The 69 Destined Sonichus and Rosechus]] and his discovery of Universe C-197, where all the [[OC|fictional characters]] exist peacefully. He then introduces [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], and [[Magi-Chan]] and his future [[Polyamorous marriage|spouses]].<br />
<br />
Fast forwards to the event of [[Sonichu 13]], Chris recaps the events on his introduction of the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPUs goddesses of video game consoles]] and his "heroic" actions to save the denizens of [[Cwcville|City-State]] and Equestria from the evil clutches of [[Idea Guys|Joshua Wise]] and his OC, Johnson Wiles. Using the power of a magic Milk Dud (i.e. The Reality Stone), Chris would undo everything the Idea Guy changed Chris didn't like and punish him for it. Afterward, Chris accepted the mantle of Blue Heart, the CPU Goddesses of the Commodore consoles and the nation of Comma.<br />
<br />
Fast forward again to the present, Chris would make claims of his increased [[PsychicPowers|psychic]] and electrical powers (actually his declining mental and physical health). This is due to the fact that he is one of the "[[Chris and ego|Central Deity Conduits]]" for the [[Dimensional Merge]], an event where the universe of [[1218]] and [[C-197]] merge as one.<br />
<br />
Chris then talks about his husband Magi-Chan in a text wall, who he claims knew before the Idea Guys' indoctrination. He looks back to BronyCon 2017, where he claimed Magi-Chan came along and even [[BronyCon#Dancing_with_Magi-Chan|danced with him]]. He ends the spiel by thanking himself for surviving a bout of heartburn and wished by the time he [[Template:Begging Counter|finishes]] the comic, the Merge will be complete.<br />
<br />
===Chris (and Magi-Chan)'s Journey into his Mind===<br />
One empty page later and it's 28 June 2019, after rebuilding the Comma <abbr title="A place of worship for the followers of the CPUs">Basilicom</abbr> and reactivating his and Scarlett's <abbr title="Crystallized form of the faith of CPU's followers">Sharicite</abbr> in Cwcville, Chris saw a doctor for a follow-up for his Monday night traumas. The doctor diagnosed him with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|a gastrointestinal problem]], but not before being wowed by Chris's demonstration of his [[PsychicPowers|psychic powers]].<br />
<br />
Two days later, Chris lost his consciousness in his sleep. With Chris now trapped in a state of dream-like limbo, his spouses, along with Princess Luna attempted to regain Chris's ability to lucid dream in vain. After failing to rescue Chris with the assistance of many deities, Magi-Chan decided to take a "direct approach" by taking his half-asleep hubby through a journey through his mind. Clearing out hordes of old, useless memories stored in Pokeballs to reach a special subspace where he and the other deities from all over the multiverse meet in a round-table. There, they would find a way for Chris to lucid dream again.<br />
<br />
===Chris vs Jakoba===<br />
Some point later, [[Jakoba]], the Rokat god of war usurped the throne of the "God of Galaxy and Creation, Destruction" etc. In response, Chris calls upon the ponies Mary Sue and Gary Stu to depose and kill Jakoba, which they do so easily. The death of C-197's Jakoba would also cause a ripple effect in Universe 1218, where the Jakoba there would die across different timeline, wiping him from existence for good. After a one-sided vote, Mary Sue and Gary Stu would become acting gods for they plan to give Jakoba's title to someone more worthy.<br />
<br />
===BronyCon 2019===<br />
On 31 July 2019, after defeating Jakoba, Chris would sperg in great details on the day before his last BronyCon, which involves sleeping in irregular schedules, doing groceries, and using his "psychic powers" to communicate with his imaginary spouses and look into equally imaginary problems. The next day at 5:30 am, Chris, along with Magi-Chan, [[Cryzel]], and [[Sylvana]] head out to Baltimore to attend BronyCon. <br />
<br />
On their way, Chris had a sudden vision of a dark counterpart (implied to be an incarnation of his past comic self) and his army attempting to [[Chris and math|invade]] [[14 Branchland Court]] to seize the many [[Amnyfest Ring|magic gems]] in his [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. Despite the efforts of [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mewtwo]], who stayed behind, the two are forced to retreat and take the gems with them with the help of Magi-Chan.<br />
<br />
Chris and his buddies arrived early, so they do several activities which include double-checking their schedules, eating their first churros, and taking selfies with a dozen fans. It was during this time where he met his friend Midnight Moonflower again. After checking out his hotel, Chris would meet several of his idols, most notably [[Amy Methven|Mad Munchkin]] and [[DRWolf]].<br />
<br />
After lunch, Chris made it in time to witness the premiere of a MLP parody of the 1987 classic film ''The Princess Bride''. Later, he would attend a motivational speaking panel where he would "learn" the values of turning trolling and criticism into something positive.<br />
<br />
Day 2: Chris spends his day interacting many voice actresses and other notable fandom figures of MLP be in a form of getting autographs, trading items, and attending panels. After leaving for supper and changing into his cosplay gears, he made it in time to attend the Grand Galloping Gala, where he would sing and dance along. After dancing with his imaginary spouses like two years ago, Chris would meet up with his fans, attend a Brony fandom history panel, and went back to his hotel, looking forward to meet the [[TF2 Analysts]] tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Chris then digresses into discussing how he briefly filled in the role of the RED Spy for the TF2 Analysts before describing the 3rd day of BronyCon. Arriving at 9 am, Chris attends the TF2 Analysts' panel, where he watched the first part of their series "Red vs Blue" and meet and greeted as much members as possible.<br />
<br />
After that, he got several autographs, including that of the franchise's creator Lauren Faust who he gave her gifts and asked questions over G1 of the series. Chris, along with a plush of Night Star, then attended Bronypalooza to attend a concert before attending Fiery Joker's ''Magic the Gathering'' panel. Chris would find inspiration in the panel, vowing to design a [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|Sonichu and Night Star themed expansion]].<br />
<br />
Chris would spend the final day attempting to deliver gifts to the remaining members of the TF2 analysts before meeting and asking Silver Quill (a member) to do it for him. He attended one more panel and got one more autograph before heading home.<br />
<br />
==Comic pages==<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Pages from ''Sonichu'' #14<br />
|<gallery><br />
File:MergeComic1.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic2.jpg|Chris's face on the 2nd panel of this page is much creepier than his typical [[creepy stare]]. <br />
File:MergeComic3.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic4.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic5.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic6.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic7.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic8.jpg|Arguably the best page in all of ''Sonichu''.<br />
File:MergeComic11.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic12.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p15.jpg|[[Jacob Sockness]] inserts his OC, Jakoba, into Chris's beliefs.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p17.jpg|Beginning of Chris's [[BronyCon]] diary.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p18.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p19.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p20.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p21.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p22.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p23.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p24.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p25.jpg <br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu_14&diff=250403Sonichu 142020-08-18T11:46:34Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* BronyCon 2019 */</p>
<hr />
<div>:''This article is about ''Sonichu'' #14's redesignated plot on the [[Dimensional Merge]]. For the original plot on Count Graduon, see'' [[Sonichu 16|Sonichu ''#16'']]<br />
<br />
{{Draft}}<br />
<br />
{{Infobox/Comic<br />
| titleandissue = Sonichu #14<br />
| cover = Sonichu14NEWCover.jpg <br />
| coverdate = 26 [[June 2019]]<br />
| finishedcomic = ''In Progress''<br />
| pagecount = 25 (incomplete so far)<br />
| episodes = 1 (incomplete so far)<br />
| previous = [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]<br />
| next = [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''''Sonichu'' #14''', officially '''''The Awakening of a CPU Book Two''''', is the 16th issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. On June 2019, Chris announced that ''Sonichu'' #14's plot would be reassigned. Instead of the comic being about [[Count Graduon]]'s origin story, it would be instead about the [[Dimensional Merge]] (the episode of Count Graduon's origin story was instead assigned to [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]]).<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Back on drawing track]]</ref><br />
<br />
This issue describes the events leading up to the [[Dimensional Merge]], the event in which the two [[dimensions]], 1218 and C-197, will merge into one dimension, 1C-211987. The first eight pages were released on 27 June 2019, successfully breaking Chris's 148-day-long artistic hiatus.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/6-26-new-sonichu-book-on-events-leading-up-to-merge.57832/</ref><br />
==The Story so Far==<br />
<br />
===Recap===<br />
Our story begins with Chris briefly introducing himself as a one of [[The 69 Destined Sonichus and Rosechus]] and his discovery of Universe C-197, where all the [[OC|fictional characters]] exist peacefully. He then introduces [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], and [[Magi-Chan]] and his future [[Polyamorous marriage|spouses]].<br />
<br />
Fast forwards to the event of [[Sonichu 13]], Chris recaps the events on his introduction of the [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPUs goddesses of video game consoles]] and his "heroic" actions to save the denizens of [[Cwcville|City-State]] and Equestria from the evil clutches of [[Idea Guys|Joshua Wise]] and his OC, Johnson Wiles. Using the power of a magic Milk Dud (i.e. The Reality Stone), Chris would undo everything the Idea Guy changed Chris didn't like and punish him for it. Afterward, Chris accepted the mantle of Blue Heart, the CPU Goddesses of the Commodore consoles and the nation of Comma.<br />
<br />
Fast forward again to the present, Chris would make claims of his increased [[PsychicPowers|psychic]] and electrical powers (actually his declining mental and physical health). This is due to the fact that he is one of the "[[Chris and ego|Central Deity Conduits]]" for the [[Dimensional Merge]], an event where the universe of [[1218]] and [[C-197]] merge as one.<br />
<br />
Chris then talks about his husband Magi-Chan in a text wall, who he claims knew before the Idea Guys' indoctrination. He looks back to BronyCon 2017, where he claimed Magi-Chan came along and even [[BronyCon#Dancing_with_Magi-Chan|danced with him]]. He ends the spiel by thanking himself for surviving a bout of heartburn and wished by the time he [[Template:Begging Counter|finishes]] the comic, the Merge will be complete.<br />
<br />
===Chris (and Magi-Chan)'s Journey into his Mind===<br />
One empty page later and it's 28 June 2019, after rebuilding the Comma <abbr title="A place of worship for the followers of the CPUs">Basilicom</abbr> and reactivating his and Scarlett's <abbr title="Crystallized form of the faith of CPU's followers">Sharicite</abbr> in Cwcville, Chris saw a doctor for a follow-up for his Monday night traumas. The doctor diagnosed him with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|a gastrointestinal problem]], but not before being wowed by Chris's demonstration of his [[PsychicPowers|psychic powers]].<br />
<br />
Two days later, Chris lost his consciousness in his sleep. With Chris now trapped in a state of dream-like limbo, his spouses, along with Princess Luna attempted to regain Chris's ability to lucid dream in vain. After failing to rescue Chris with the assistance of many deities, Magi-Chan decided to take a "direct approach" by taking his half-asleep hubby through a journey through his mind. Clearing out hordes of old, useless memories stored in Pokeballs to reach a special subspace where he and the other deities from all over the multiverse meet in a round-table. There, they would find a way for Chris to lucid dream again.<br />
<br />
===Chris vs Jakoba===<br />
Some point later, [[Jakoba]], the Rokat god of war usurped the throne of the "God of Galaxy and Creation, Destruction" etc. In response, Chris calls upon the ponies Mary Sue and Gary Stu to depose and kill Jakoba, which they do so easily. The death of C-197's Jakoba would also cause a ripple effect in Universe 1218, where the Jakoba there would die across different timeline, wiping him from existence for good. After a one-sided vote, Mary Sue and Gary Stu would become acting gods for they plan to give Jakoba's title to someone more worthy.<br />
<br />
===BronyCon 2019===<br />
On 31 July 2019, after defeating Jakoba, Chris would sperg in great details on the day before his last BronyCon, which involves sleeping in irregular schedules, doing groceries, and using his "psychic powers" to communicate with his imaginary spouses and look into equally imaginary problems. The next day at 5:30 am, Chris, along with Magi-Chan, [[Cryzel]], and [[Sylvana]] head out to Baltimore to attend BronyCon. <br />
<br />
On their way, Chris had a sudden vision of a dark counterpart (implied to be an incarnation of his past comic self) and his army attempting to [[Chris and Math|invade]] [[14 Branchland Court]] to seize the many [[Amnyfest Ring|magic gems]] in his [[Chris's room|bedroom]]. Despite the efforts of [[Count Graduon]] and [[Mewtwo]], who stayed behind, the two are forced to retreat and take the gems with them with the help of Magi-Chan.<br />
<br />
Chris and his buddies arrived early, so they do several activities which include double-checking their schedules, eating their first churros, and taking selfies with a dozen fans. It was during this time where he met his friend Midnight Moonflower again. After checking out his hotel, Chris would meet several of his idols, most notably [[Amy Methven|Mad Munchkin]] and [[DRWolf]].<br />
<br />
After lunch, Chris made it in time to witness the premiere of a MLP parody of the 1987 classic film ''The Princess Bride''. Later, he would attend a motivational speaking panel where he would "learn" the values of turning trolling and criticism into something positive.<br />
<br />
Day 2: Chris spends his day interacting many voice actresses and other notable fandom figures of MLP be in a form of getting autographs, trading items, and attending panels. After leaving for supper and changing into his cosplay gears, he made it in time to attend the Grand Galloping Gala, where he would sing and dance along. After dancing with his imaginary spouses like two years ago, Chris would meet up with his fans, attend a Brony fandom history panel, and went back to his hotel, looking forward to meet the [[TF2 Analysts]] tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Chris then digresses into discussing how he briefly filled in the role of the RED Spy for the TF2 Analysts before describing the 3rd day of BronyCon. Arriving at 9 am, Chris attends the TF2 Analysts' panel, where he watched the first part of their series "Red vs Blue" and meet and greeted as much members as possible.<br />
<br />
After that, he got several autographs, including that of the franchise's creator Lauren Faust who he gave her gifts and asked questions over G1 of the series. Chris, along with a plush of Night Star, then attended Bronypalooza to attend a concert before attending Fiery Joker's ''Magic the Gathering'' panel. Chris would find inspiration in the panel, vowing to design a [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|Sonichu and Night Star themed expansion]].<br />
<br />
Chris would spend the final day attempting to deliver gifts to the remaining members of the TF2 analysts before meeting and asking Silver Quill (a member) to do it for him. He attended one more panel and got one more autograph before heading home.<br />
<br />
==Comic pages==<br />
<center>{{collapsible<br />
|Pages from ''Sonichu'' #14<br />
|<gallery><br />
File:MergeComic1.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic2.jpg|Chris's face on the 2nd panel of this page is much creepier than his typical [[creepy stare]]. <br />
File:MergeComic3.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic4.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic5.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic6.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic7.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic8.jpg|Arguably the best page in all of ''Sonichu''.<br />
File:MergeComic11.jpg<br />
File:MergeComic12.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p15.jpg|[[Jacob Sockness]] inserts his OC, Jakoba, into Chris's beliefs.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p17.jpg|Beginning of Chris's [[BronyCon]] diary.<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p18.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p19.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p20.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p21.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p22.jpg<br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p23.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p24.jpg <br />
File:Sonichu14-2019draft-p25.jpg <br />
</gallery>}}</center><br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{Sonichu}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]<br />
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Cherokian_Clan&diff=250054Cherokian Clan2020-08-16T11:38:09Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Gallery */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Articleofthenow}}<br />
[[Image:Chrisansestore.jpg|thumb|Cherokians have heads bigger than their torsos, arms thicker than their legs, and wear Roman-style ceremonial armour at all times.]]<br />
[[File:Francis Parsons - Cunne Shote.jpg|thumb|300px|A portrait of a Cherokee, for comparison only.]]<br />
<br />
{{Quote|I am 1/32 Cherokee. I do not currently live on a reservation, yet I think a lot of us Native Americans do live on Reservations.|Chris, [[Regina e-mails]]}}<br />
{{Quote|I will admit, my knowledge of the Cherokees can be better.|Chris, [[Mailbag 8]]}}<br />
<br />
[[Chris]] claims to have at least one ancestor who is [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]]. Thus, the '''Cherokian Clan''' is the tribe he believes this ancestor belongs to. The ancient exploits of the clan figure heavily into the mythology of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics.<br />
<br />
The primary rival tribe of the Cherokian Clan was the [[Wasabi Clan]].<br />
<br />
==Fictional history==<br />
Apparently living in what is now [[Virginia]] many centuries ago, the Cherokians (pronounced [tʃəˈɹɑkiən] - chuh-rock-ee-uhns by Chris) possessed considerable mystical and prophetic powers. [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|The Cherokee leader]], Christian's ancestor, wore a coveted [[Cherokian crown]] which somewhat resembled the ears of [[Sonichu]], suggesting that there is [[Transformers|more than meets the eye]] to Christian's creation.<br />
<br />
The Cherokians and Wasabi fought frequently over both the crown and the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Cherokian queen]], whom the [[Wasabi Rival|Wasabi leader]] wanted as his own. Despite this, the Cherokians and Wasabi joined forces to defeat and imprison their mutual enemy, [[Count Graduon]].<br />
<br />
Recognizing that Graduon could someday again threaten mankind, the Cherokians wrote the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], describing the exact circumstances of Graduon's escape and the identity of the individuals who would summon the power to defeat him. The prophecy was locked away in the Destiny Cave somewhere near the future site of [[CWCville]], Virginia, along with the Fireshock Pendant and Lightning Bracelets that would empower two of the three "[[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|electric creatures]]" fated to stop Graduon.<br />
<br />
==Reality==<br />
[[File:Ancestry_composition3.jpg|thumb|150px|The truth is out.]]<br />
<br />
Chris is among a very large number of [[United States of America|Americans]] — most of whom aren't autistic man-children — who claim to have some distant [[Wikipedia:Native American|Native American]] heritage. In particular, it is common for many white and [[Niggos|black]] people, especially in the South, to specifically claim Cherokee heritage. How accurate all of those claims are is another matter. At least in some cases, it is more likely that the "Cherokee ancestor" is a cover for having a distant black ancestor if the person claiming the ancestry is white, or vice versa.<br />
<br />
Chris has actually given multiple values for how much Cherokee blood he has; for example, in Chris's emails to [[Jackie E-mails 16|Jackie]], he says that he's actually 1/16 Cherokee Indian, but then in the [[Regina e-mails|Regina Emails]], he states he's 1/32 Cherokee. [[Bob]] seems to have encouraged Chris's claims to Native ancestry, telling [[Emily]] that he (Bob) was "at least" one-fourth Cherokee. Assuming Bob was correct, this would mean Chris is actually at least one-eighth Cherokee. Therefore, Chris's claims that he is 1/16 or 1/32 Cherokee would simply indicate that he is shitty at math. <br />
<br />
When considering the likelihood of this account, it should also be noted that Chris also claims to be descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], whose [[Wikipedia:Elizabeth I of England|only offspring]] died without children, as well as Englishman [[Daniel Weston]], who didn't exist at all. For someone who takes pride in his Cherokee ancestry, he is extremely ignorant regarding actual Cherokees, who bear no physical resemblance to Chris's portrayals whatsoever. He depicts the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as white-skinned and blue-eyed (and looking very much like Chris himself), referring to Cherokee artifacts, customs, and people with the dubious demonym "Cherokian," and slathering them in solid gold ''Sonichu''-themed jewelry and armor. Interestingly, the large amount of gold, the decoration, the coloration, and the overall design makes the character look far more [[Wikipedia:Maya civilization|Mayan]] or Ancient Italian ([[Wikipedia:Samnites|Samnite]], [[Wikipedia:Etruscan civilization|Etruscan]] and [[Wikipedia:Roman Republic|early Roman Republic]]) than anything else. Apparently it's all the same to Chris.<br />
<br />
When a fan asked Chris to explain his inaccuracies regarding the Cherokee people and their presentation in the comic, Chris offered that he didn't know as much about the Cherokees as he possibly could. He refused to concede that he was wrong, but simply said that there might be a few facts he had glossed over.<ref>[[Mailbag 8#Chris the editor]]</ref> <br />
<br />
Shedding even further light onto his attitudes regarding Cherokees, Chris compared the [[Wikipedia:Trail of Tears|Trail of Tears]], a tragedy in which 4,000 Cherokees and many other Native Americans were killed, to some pranks in which people on the internet made fun of him.<ref>[[Mailbag 50#The "Chris's art sucks on purpose" emails]]</ref><br />
<br />
In March 2018, Chris posted the results of a DNA test on Facebook,<ref>[[March 2018 social media posts#Apology to jewish people]]</ref> which indicated that he had zero Native American ancestry. Chris made no comment on this discrepancy with his past claims, though he boasted about his 0.1-percent [[Jewish]] blood.<br />
<br />
==UNGA WUNGA==<br />
[[File:Unga Wunga Time.jpg|thumb|left|300px]]<br />
"'''UNGA-WUNGA'''" is a piece of [[Chris and art|art]] produced by Chris. Chris is pictured having [[hanky-panky]] with what is supposed to be [[Jackie]] up against a tree, with a group of 'native' people cheering and [[mass debating]] (at the same time) all around them. Chris came up with this idea on his own; Jackie had asked him to draw of picture of (non-specific) men jacking off at the sight of Chris and Jackie having sex in a pool. Chris justified the drawing with the tired claim that he is 1/16th Cherokee. As for the name of the piece, Chris said it was "just an expression I randomly picked for the natives to chant as they jerked off."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref> This sums up how [[naïve]] and utterly racist Chris is when it comes to Native Americans. Even the people in the picture don't look like Native Americans, but look more white and African-American.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
== Gallery ==<br />
<center><gallery><br />
Image:CherokeeChris.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris celebrating his Cherokee ancestry.<br />
Image:Indiann.jpg|Somehow, the real Chris doing it looks sillier than the troll art.<br />
Image:160-ChrokiChanCard.jpg|[[My Little Pony]] featured heavily in [[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]] Native American culture.<br />
File:448-CWCWigwam.JPG|Where the Cherokian Clan live.<br />
Image:T8DEA.jpg|Artist's depiction of an ancient Cherokian warrior.<br />
</gallery></center><br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Public Service Announcement: the Plight of the Cherokee<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fRXroiXFTWs}}<br />
| Stardate = 4 December 2009<br />
| Maker = GodAndTheBearFilms <br />
| Subject = <br />
| Video Type = <br />
| Other Info = <br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[War Paint Video]] - Chris pretends to be a real Cherokee to threaten trolls.<br />
*[[ECV 00001]] - Chris reads the Wikipedia article on the Cherokee Clan for several minutes.<br />
*[[Chris and race#Native Americans|Chris and race]] - More analysis of Chris's racism.<br />
*[[Megatron Pistol]] - As used by the ancient Cherokees.<br />
*[[Cherokean Chant]] - Chris recites the well known Cherokee Chant: "A nu cheeki breeki, davai!"<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
{{CWC-isms}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:CWC-isms]]<br />
[[Category:Plot Devices]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_television&diff=249713Chris and television2020-08-14T09:16:17Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Taste in TV */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Dated}}<br />
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Sonichu]], coming soon on ''[[Family Guy]]''.]]<br />
{{Quote|I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!|Chris, being surprisingly [[TRUE and HONEST]].<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
'''Television''' is a widely-used telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images, and a staple in almost all North American homes. It's also one of the favorite pastimes of our [[Chris|mutual friend]]. Indeed, when not "[[Fridays After Five|social]][[Impulse Gay Social-Club|izing]]", [[recycling]], playing [[video games]] or ranting about [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue arms]], it's a fairly safe bet Chris is sitting down and watching TV. [[Chris and health|Lots and lots of TV]].<br />
<br />
Chris gets most of his information concerning the outside world through the television, among other entertainment media. This leads to blatantly ripping off concepts and characters from whatever he watches.<br />
<br />
==Interpretation of media==<br />
<br />
Chris is prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own strange way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of [[homos]]exuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of [[Ruckersville, VA|rednecks]] who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, [[Autism|took everything at face value]] and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[parody]]ing Republicans, even if poorly in more recent episodes, and that the show's creator [[Seth MacFarlane]] is famously a supporter of gay rights. Interestingly, Chris does not have this same misconception when it comes to live-action media. He's explicitly stated that ''Seinfeld'' characters aren't real and justified his like of the ''[[Saw]]'' series by saying that the violence is all made up. <br />
<br />
As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons".<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".<br />
<br />
===Dimensional Merge===<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
<br />
== Taste in TV ==<br />
[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|A [[Ghostbusters|"classic" children's show]].]]<br />
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|Chris enjoys [[Gilligan's Island|ancient sitcoms]] thanks to his parents.]]<br />
<br />
Most of Chris's television staples are fairly predictable. A bland mush of animation and [[random-access humor]] is rampant, with almost all of Seth McFarlane's creations (''[[Family Guy]]'', ''American Dad!'', ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'') holding his attention for hours. Indeed, Chris is such a devotee to this generic comedy that he bought [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|tons of their episodes]] via the [[PlayStation Network]], for a sizable amount of [[money]]. [[Adult Swim]] is another big favorite of our autistic hero, and he even entered [[Harvey Birdman commercial|one of their contests]] and [[Adult Swim posts#Chris on his Harvey Birdman contest entry (April 2005)|raged when he didn't win]].<br />
<br />
[[Anime]] is another area where Chris's choices are very transparent. Among some of his favorites over the years include ''[[Wikipedia:Shuffle!|Shuffle!]]'' (essentially a tale of a somewhat unlikable guy [[Women's rights|suddenly being accosted by several obedient and attractive females]]), ''[[Wikipedia:Gunslinger Girl|Gunslinger Girl]]'' (essentially a slightly [[Pedofork|unnerving]] bit of softcore eroticism), and ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (while generally regarded favorably, is chock-full of in-jokes and [[parody]], things that Chris can't understand but is eager to copy).<br />
<br />
Certain bizarre choices do stick out, however. ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' has been [[CWCFlyingElephants|brought up]] or '[[Merried Seinor Comic|referenced]]' several times, along with [[Some Favored Comedians|comedian]] [[Red Skelton]], and ''[[I Love Lucy]]''. The former feature's absurdity probably piqued Chris's interest, while the final two are probably an offshoot of [[Borb|his decrepit parents]].<br />
<br />
Chris seems to have also watched a fair bit of Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon in the late 1990s and early 2000s, making references to ''[[KCWC_broadcast|Cousin Skeeter]]'', ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Ed.2C_Edd_n_Eddy|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'', and ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#The_Powerpuff_Girls|The Powerpuff]] [[Tomgirl_Saga|Girls]]'', among others. Many of these shows have gained significant cult followings, but were made for kids much younger than Chris was at the time. Seeing his [[Pokemon|oth]][[Transformers|er]] [[Sonic_The_Hedgehog|int]][[Lego|erests]], though, it's not that surprising that he was watching shows designed for elementary schoolers when he was in high school and college.<br />
<br />
Chris has also shown an affinity for some darker movies, the most jarring being the ''[[Saw]]'' series. He rarely mentions the movies, though it's possible their influence led to the events of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where the [[Asperpedia Four]] were executed via elaborate death traps...well, elaborate by [[Autism|Chris's]] [[Chris and reality|standards]].<br />
<br />
If [[:File:Family Guy mirror.jpg|this picture]] is clear, Chris may be using Hulu or Hulu Plus lately to watch all the shows he can't on Netflix.<br />
<br />
Mods Chris uploaded to ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' indicates he's a fan of ''[[Wikipedia:Drawn Together|Drawn Together]]'', for [[Mass debating|obvious reasons]].<br />
<br />
He copied a scene from ''Beavis and Butthead'' in an issue of ''Sonichu''.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
== Netflix ==<br />
{{main|Netflix}}<br />
<br />
Chris has used Netflix to satisfy his watching needs instantaneously, enabling him to reach a near-comatose state of mental saturation. Put in more practical terms, he spent more than ''6 hours'' watching ''[[Wikipedia: Keeping Up Appearances|Keeping Up Appearances]]'' and ''[[South Park]]'' in a single day. Twice. In terms of averages, Chris watches roughly 3 hours of television a day, at least for the week viewed.<ref>[[Netflix#Queues on 21 November 2009]]</ref><br />
<br />
The huge selection and 'Instant Watch' feature, combined with Chris's need to whack, has led to some interesting choices in film. To date, he has rented ''[[Wikipedia:Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy|Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy]]'', ''Story of O'', ''[[Virgin]]'', and many more titles with sexual names and/or posters. Considering Netflix doesn't deal in porn, he's wasting his time. Other than these porno hunts and impulse rentals, Chris is pretty much interested in only two types of three types of programs; adult cartoons, British sitcoms, and comedy, displaying a remarkably narrow range of interests. The only movie that really stands out in his selections is ''[[Vamprosa|Twilight]]''.<br />
<br />
Netflix has also allowed him easier access to the cartoons of his childhood, ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' being the most prominent. The apparent binge of ''Transformers''-related television may have been the "[[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]]" behind [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris-Chan the Sitcom<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ViA0Xv9OwUc}}<br />
| Stardate = 27 [[April 2010]]<br />
| Maker = MycalFelps <br />
| Subject = {{Television|text}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Fandoms]]<br />
*[[Netflix]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_television&diff=249712Chris and television2020-08-14T09:13:37Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Interpretation of media */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Dated}}<br />
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Sonichu]], coming soon on ''[[Family Guy]]''.]]<br />
{{Quote|I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!|Chris, being surprisingly [[TRUE and HONEST]].<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}<br />
<br />
'''Television''' is a widely-used telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images, and a staple in almost all North American homes. It's also one of the favorite pastimes of our [[Chris|mutual friend]]. Indeed, when not "[[Fridays After Five|social]][[Impulse Gay Social-Club|izing]]", [[recycling]], playing [[video games]] or ranting about [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue arms]], it's a fairly safe bet Chris is sitting down and watching TV. [[Chris and health|Lots and lots of TV]].<br />
<br />
Chris gets most of his information concerning the outside world through the television, among other entertainment media. This leads to blatantly ripping off concepts and characters from whatever he watches.<br />
<br />
==Interpretation of media==<br />
<br />
Chris is prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own strange way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of [[homos]]exuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of [[Ruckersville, VA|rednecks]] who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, [[Autism|took everything at face value]] and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[parody]]ing Republicans, even if poorly in more recent episodes, and that the show's creator [[Seth MacFarlane]] is famously a supporter of gay rights. Interestingly, Chris does not have this same misconception when it comes to live-action media. He's explicitly stated that ''Seinfeld'' characters aren't real and justified his like of the ''[[Saw]]'' series by saying that the violence is all made up. <br />
<br />
As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons".<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".<br />
<br />
===Dimensional Merge===<br />
{{Incomplete}}<br />
<br />
== Taste in TV ==<br />
[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|A [[Ghostbusters|"classic" children's show]].]]<br />
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|Chris enjoys [[Gilligan's Island|ancient sitcoms]] thanks to his parents.]]<br />
<br />
Most of Chris's television staples are fairly predictable. A bland mush of animation and [[random-access humor]] is rampant, with almost all of Seth McFarlane's creations (''[[Family Guy]]'', ''American Dad!'', ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'') holding his attention for hours. Indeed, Chris is such a devotee to this generic comedy that he bought [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|tons of their episodes]] via the [[PlayStation Network]], for a sizable amount of [[money]]. [[Adult Swim]] is another big favorite of our autistic hero, and he even entered [[Harvey Birdman commercial|one of their contests]] and [[Adult Swim posts#Chris on his Harvey Birdman contest entry (April 2005)|raged when he didn't win]].<br />
<br />
[[Anime]] is another area where Chris's choices are very transparent. Among some of his favorites over the years include ''[[Wikipedia:Shuffle!|Shuffle!]]'' (essentially a tale of a somewhat unlikable guy [[Women's rights|suddenly being accosted by several obedient and attractive females]]), ''[[Wikipedia:Gunslinger Girl|Gunslinger Girl]]'' (essentially a slightly [[Pedofork|unnerving]] bit of softcore eroticism), and ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (while generally regarded favorably, is chock-full of in-jokes and [[parody]], things that Chris can't understand but is eager to copy).<br />
<br />
Certain bizarre choices do stick out, however. ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' has been [[CWCFlyingElephants|brought up]] or '[[Merried Seinor Comic|referenced]]' several times, along with [[Some Favored Comedians|comedian]] [[Red Skelton]], and ''[[I Love Lucy]]''. The former feature's absurdity probably piqued Chris's interest, while the final two are probably an offshoot of [[Borb|his decrepit parents]].<br />
<br />
Chris seems to have also watched a fair bit of Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon in the late 1990s and early 2000s, making references to ''[[KCWC_broadcast|Cousin Skeeter]]'', ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Ed.2C_Edd_n_Eddy|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'', and ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#The_Powerpuff_Girls|The Powerpuff]] [[Tomgirl_Saga|Girls]]'', among others. Many of these shows have gained significant cult followings, but were made for kids much younger than Chris was at the time. Seeing his [[Pokemon|oth]][[Transformers|er]] [[Sonic_The_Hedgehog|int]][[Lego|erests]], though, it's not that surprising that he was watching shows designed for elementary schoolers when he was in high school and college.<br />
<br />
Chris has also shown an affinity for some darker movies, the most jarring being the ''[[Saw]]'' series. He rarely mentions the movies, though it's possible their influence led to the events of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where the [[Asperpedia Four]] were executed via elaborate death traps...well, elaborate by [[Autism|Chris's standards]].<br />
<br />
If [[:File:Family Guy mirror.jpg|this picture]] is clear, Chris may be using Hulu or Hulu Plus lately to watch all the shows he can't on Netflix.<br />
<br />
Mods Chris uploaded to ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' indicates he's a fan of ''[[Wikipedia:Drawn Together|Drawn Together]]'', for [[Mass debating|obvious reasons]].<br />
<br />
He copied a scene from ''Beavis and Butthead'' in an issue of ''Sonichu''.<br />
{{-}}<br />
<br />
== Netflix ==<br />
{{main|Netflix}}<br />
<br />
Chris has used Netflix to satisfy his watching needs instantaneously, enabling him to reach a near-comatose state of mental saturation. Put in more practical terms, he spent more than ''6 hours'' watching ''[[Wikipedia: Keeping Up Appearances|Keeping Up Appearances]]'' and ''[[South Park]]'' in a single day. Twice. In terms of averages, Chris watches roughly 3 hours of television a day, at least for the week viewed.<ref>[[Netflix#Queues on 21 November 2009]]</ref><br />
<br />
The huge selection and 'Instant Watch' feature, combined with Chris's need to whack, has led to some interesting choices in film. To date, he has rented ''[[Wikipedia:Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy|Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy]]'', ''Story of O'', ''[[Virgin]]'', and many more titles with sexual names and/or posters. Considering Netflix doesn't deal in porn, he's wasting his time. Other than these porno hunts and impulse rentals, Chris is pretty much interested in only two types of three types of programs; adult cartoons, British sitcoms, and comedy, displaying a remarkably narrow range of interests. The only movie that really stands out in his selections is ''[[Vamprosa|Twilight]]''.<br />
<br />
Netflix has also allowed him easier access to the cartoons of his childhood, ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' being the most prominent. The apparent binge of ''Transformers''-related television may have been the "[[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]]" behind [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].<br />
<br />
==Fan videos==<br />
{{Infobox/Fanvideo<br />
| name = Chris-Chan the Sitcom<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ViA0Xv9OwUc}}<br />
| Stardate = 27 [[April 2010]]<br />
| Maker = MycalFelps <br />
| Subject = {{Television|text}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Fandoms]]<br />
*[[Netflix]]<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
{{Chris and}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Template:ListOfVideos/2020&diff=248381Template:ListOfVideos/20202020-08-09T02:39:49Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* August 2020 */</p>
<hr />
<div>==February 2020==<br />
*'''[[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2]]''' ''11 [[February 2020]]'' <small>(2:53:42)</small> {{Other}} {{Comedy}} {{Crazy}} {{Rage}}{{Financhu Crisis}} {{Live}}<br/> Chris does a live reading of the 7th through final chapter of the fan-fiction ''Sonichu Vs SNT''.<br />
<br />
*'''[[Xleepy#Welcome_to_Xleepy_-_Feat._Chris_Chan_.28Teaser.29|Welcome to Xleepy - Feat. Chris Chan (Teaser)]]''' ''29 [[February 2020]]'' <small>(1:38)</small> {{Crazy}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} <br/> Chris demonstrates his [[psychic powers]] as part of Xleepy's channel introduction video.<br />
<br />
==March 2020==<br />
*'''[[Sonic Rebuilt]]''' ''6 [[March 2020]]'' <small>(1:00:39)</small> {{Comics}} <br/> Chris contributes to the Sonic Rebuilt collaboration by recreating the scene where Sonic rescues Tails and Old Man Owl.<br />
<br />
==April 2020==<br />
*'''[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Reaction_Video:_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_1|Reaction Video: Red Vs Blue Part 1]]''' ''10 [[April 2020]]'' <small>(23:52)</small> {{Crazy}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} {{Live}}<br/> Chris reacts to the first part of ''Red vs Blue'' by the [[TF2 Analysts]].<br />
<br />
*'''[[Chris Chan & Max Mandu LIVE / Leftovers Tonight]]''' ''19 [[April 2020]]'' <small>(1:39:16)</small> {{Other}} {{Crazy}} {{Live}} <br/> Chris has a live interview with the Virginia-based YouTube channel leftovermedia along with local musician Max Mandu.<br />
<br />
==May 2020==<br />
*'''[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_2_Reaction_Video|TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 2 Reaction Video]]''' ''15 [[May 2020]]'' <small>(18:18)</small> {{Crazy}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} {{Live}}<br/> <s>Chris</s> "Sonichu" reacts to the second part of ''Red vs Blue'' by the [[TF2 Analysts]].<br />
<br />
==June 2020==<br />
*'''[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]''' ''12 [[June 2020]]'' <small>(38:37)</small> {{Crazy}} {{Live}}<br/> "Sonichu" reacts to the third part of ''Red vs Blue'' by the [[TF2 Analysts]], featuring Barb.<br />
<br />
== August 2020 ==<br />
*'''[[Chris's Last Will and Testament|IMG 0176]]''' ''08 [[August 2020]]'' <small>(04:35)</small> {{Crazy}}{{Tragedy}}{{Leaked}}{{Bubblegumnightmare}}<br/> "Sonichu"'s video will, as he prepares to send his belongings to two enablers/trolls</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams/sandbox&diff=248266User:Esteemed hams/sandbox2020-08-08T14:24:58Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Florianne's IMG 0176 Transcript (eventually fixed by User:Byzantine) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />
== Why? ==<br />
Because I want to be able to plan my work out without publishing it first.<br />
<br />
==Alcohol==<br />
Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary, but may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Death|problems]] in the near future.<br />
<br />
== Florianne's [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|IMG 0176]] Transcript (eventually fixed by User:Byzantine) ==<br />
<br />
hello this is<br />
hello this is sanchu in the body of<br />
mama christine weston chandler sonichu<br />
okay chris chancellor<br />
anyway i'm recording this as a video<br />
will<br />
with my wife rosie rose tuesday next to<br />
me for any<br />
for in the event anything happens to me<br />
and this one body that belongs to mama<br />
chris chan<br />
anything happens including a very likely<br />
just<br />
vanish from this dimension this body in<br />
me<br />
and this house gets left behind and<br />
anything else that happens to the<br />
transport in this timeline before the<br />
timeline changes<br />
i wish to hereby bequeath<br />
all my remaining percent all of the<br />
remaining possessions between mine<br />
and mamas that are in in their this<br />
household<br />
and within the area of this temple i<br />
relinquish all i will relinquish all<br />
that<br />
to megan kathleen<br />
ringo who lives in the state of<br />
washington<br />
so simply i simply have to be sure to<br />
come over to come<br />
to help sort things out and<br />
she and if she feels like it she can<br />
move in and help<br />
as well but that's a whole other thing<br />
that's a fan going good click click like<br />
the air conditioner just died out<br />
so i have to take that as a sign<br />
uh anyway aside from that um also<br />
on another note<br />
that set but i would also<br />
like to also help out around the house<br />
who lives here in the state of virginia<br />
one kevin fairchild who lives in<br />
fisherfield<br />
i'd like him to<br />
barbara you're gonna let him move in you<br />
gotta let him move in<br />
you're gonna help you with any remaining<br />
things and artifacts within this house<br />
and megan you'll have to work with him<br />
as well<br />
he's very genuine very kind i believe<br />
you both will get along very well<br />
and this will definitely work out<br />
because you know me<br />
i'm going into c197<br />
our alternate dimension and i'm gonna<br />
end up uh<br />
02:38<br />
powering up this body unlocking it's all<br />
of its alternate forms and everything<br />
i you know me i'm a little bit this<br />
brain is so disorganized so<br />
by language is not exactly syncing up at<br />
times<br />
but yeah anyway everything goes to<br />
everything if chris everything of mine<br />
and<br />
christine weston chandler sanchez<br />
they go to megan kathleen ringo<br />
and i want<br />
kevin fairchild to come and move in as<br />
well<br />
because barbara's gonna need as much<br />
help as possible on the event that this<br />
house this temple just<br />
stays behind while if the event that i<br />
just suddenly vanish without this house<br />
and leaving it and everything else<br />
behind<br />
and in that case also uh being obvious<br />
this body would not stand back because<br />
it's one and only it's<br />
one and only the eyes linked to this one<br />
brain<br />
if you only knew camera zero zero zero<br />
now everybody else the true first person<br />
perspective<br />
so many things in my mind so please for<br />
me if i seem a little bit erratic but<br />
this is my last video will and testament<br />
on behalf of christine weston chandler<br />
sanchez<br />
was born as christopher weston chandler<br />
to barbara and robert chandler in this<br />
dimension<br />
in this timeline i'll leave y'all with<br />
that<br />
and the attorney who will handle the<br />
case and all that and helping<br />
them at all or anybody else helping them<br />
get situated with the situation and all<br />
that so<br />
thank you</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams/sandbox&diff=248265User:Esteemed hams/sandbox2020-08-08T14:23:47Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Florianne's IMG 0176 Transcript (eventually fixed by User:Byzantine) */</p>
<hr />
<div><br />
== Why? ==<br />
Because I want to be able to plan my work out without publishing it first.<br />
<br />
==Alcohol==<br />
Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary, but may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Death|problems]] in the near future.<br />
<br />
== Florianne's [[IMG 0176]] Transcript (eventually fixed by User:Byzantine) ==<br />
<br />
hello this is<br />
hello this is sanchu in the body of<br />
mama christine weston chandler sonichu<br />
okay chris chancellor<br />
anyway i'm recording this as a video<br />
will<br />
with my wife rosie rose tuesday next to<br />
me for any<br />
for in the event anything happens to me<br />
and this one body that belongs to mama<br />
chris chan<br />
anything happens including a very likely<br />
just<br />
vanish from this dimension this body in<br />
me<br />
and this house gets left behind and<br />
anything else that happens to the<br />
transport in this timeline before the<br />
timeline changes<br />
i wish to hereby bequeath<br />
all my remaining percent all of the<br />
remaining possessions between mine<br />
and mamas that are in in their this<br />
household<br />
and within the area of this temple i<br />
relinquish all i will relinquish all<br />
that<br />
to megan kathleen<br />
ringo who lives in the state of<br />
washington<br />
so simply i simply have to be sure to<br />
come over to come<br />
to help sort things out and<br />
she and if she feels like it she can<br />
move in and help<br />
as well but that's a whole other thing<br />
that's a fan going good click click like<br />
the air conditioner just died out<br />
so i have to take that as a sign<br />
uh anyway aside from that um also<br />
on another note<br />
that set but i would also<br />
like to also help out around the house<br />
who lives here in the state of virginia<br />
one kevin fairchild who lives in<br />
fisherfield<br />
i'd like him to<br />
barbara you're gonna let him move in you<br />
gotta let him move in<br />
you're gonna help you with any remaining<br />
things and artifacts within this house<br />
and megan you'll have to work with him<br />
as well<br />
he's very genuine very kind i believe<br />
you both will get along very well<br />
and this will definitely work out<br />
because you know me<br />
i'm going into c197<br />
our alternate dimension and i'm gonna<br />
end up uh<br />
02:38<br />
powering up this body unlocking it's all<br />
of its alternate forms and everything<br />
i you know me i'm a little bit this<br />
brain is so disorganized so<br />
by language is not exactly syncing up at<br />
times<br />
but yeah anyway everything goes to<br />
everything if chris everything of mine<br />
and<br />
christine weston chandler sanchez<br />
they go to megan kathleen ringo<br />
and i want<br />
kevin fairchild to come and move in as<br />
well<br />
because barbara's gonna need as much<br />
help as possible on the event that this<br />
house this temple just<br />
stays behind while if the event that i<br />
just suddenly vanish without this house<br />
and leaving it and everything else<br />
behind<br />
and in that case also uh being obvious<br />
this body would not stand back because<br />
it's one and only it's<br />
one and only the eyes linked to this one<br />
brain<br />
if you only knew camera zero zero zero<br />
now everybody else the true first person<br />
perspective<br />
so many things in my mind so please for<br />
me if i seem a little bit erratic but<br />
this is my last video will and testament<br />
on behalf of christine weston chandler<br />
sanchez<br />
was born as christopher weston chandler<br />
to barbara and robert chandler in this<br />
dimension<br />
in this timeline i'll leave y'all with<br />
that<br />
and the attorney who will handle the<br />
case and all that and helping<br />
them at all or anybody else helping them<br />
get situated with the situation and all<br />
that so<br />
thank you</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams/sandbox&diff=248264User:Esteemed hams/sandbox2020-08-08T14:23:01Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div><br />
== Why? ==<br />
Because I want to be able to plan my work out without publishing it first.<br />
<br />
==Alcohol==<br />
Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary, but may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Death|problems]] in the near future.<br />
<br />
== Florianne's IMG 0176 Transcript (eventually fixed by User:Byzantine) ==<br />
<br />
hello this is<br />
hello this is sanchu in the body of<br />
mama christine weston chandler sonichu<br />
okay chris chancellor<br />
anyway i'm recording this as a video<br />
will<br />
with my wife rosie rose tuesday next to<br />
me for any<br />
for in the event anything happens to me<br />
and this one body that belongs to mama<br />
chris chan<br />
anything happens including a very likely<br />
just<br />
vanish from this dimension this body in<br />
me<br />
and this house gets left behind and<br />
anything else that happens to the<br />
transport in this timeline before the<br />
timeline changes<br />
i wish to hereby bequeath<br />
all my remaining percent all of the<br />
remaining possessions between mine<br />
and mamas that are in in their this<br />
household<br />
and within the area of this temple i<br />
relinquish all i will relinquish all<br />
that<br />
to megan kathleen<br />
ringo who lives in the state of<br />
washington<br />
so simply i simply have to be sure to<br />
come over to come<br />
to help sort things out and<br />
she and if she feels like it she can<br />
move in and help<br />
as well but that's a whole other thing<br />
that's a fan going good click click like<br />
the air conditioner just died out<br />
so i have to take that as a sign<br />
uh anyway aside from that um also<br />
on another note<br />
that set but i would also<br />
like to also help out around the house<br />
who lives here in the state of virginia<br />
one kevin fairchild who lives in<br />
fisherfield<br />
i'd like him to<br />
barbara you're gonna let him move in you<br />
gotta let him move in<br />
you're gonna help you with any remaining<br />
things and artifacts within this house<br />
and megan you'll have to work with him<br />
as well<br />
he's very genuine very kind i believe<br />
you both will get along very well<br />
and this will definitely work out<br />
because you know me<br />
i'm going into c197<br />
our alternate dimension and i'm gonna<br />
end up uh<br />
02:38<br />
powering up this body unlocking it's all<br />
of its alternate forms and everything<br />
i you know me i'm a little bit this<br />
brain is so disorganized so<br />
by language is not exactly syncing up at<br />
times<br />
but yeah anyway everything goes to<br />
everything if chris everything of mine<br />
and<br />
christine weston chandler sanchez<br />
they go to megan kathleen ringo<br />
and i want<br />
kevin fairchild to come and move in as<br />
well<br />
because barbara's gonna need as much<br />
help as possible on the event that this<br />
house this temple just<br />
stays behind while if the event that i<br />
just suddenly vanish without this house<br />
and leaving it and everything else<br />
behind<br />
and in that case also uh being obvious<br />
this body would not stand back because<br />
it's one and only it's<br />
one and only the eyes linked to this one<br />
brain<br />
if you only knew camera zero zero zero<br />
now everybody else the true first person<br />
perspective<br />
so many things in my mind so please for<br />
me if i seem a little bit erratic but<br />
this is my last video will and testament<br />
on behalf of christine weston chandler<br />
sanchez<br />
was born as christopher weston chandler<br />
to barbara and robert chandler in this<br />
dimension<br />
in this timeline i'll leave y'all with<br />
that<br />
and the attorney who will handle the<br />
case and all that and helping<br />
them at all or anybody else helping them<br />
get situated with the situation and all<br />
that so<br />
thank you</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=248217User:Esteemed hams2020-08-08T10:56:25Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{{Asian}}{{Australian}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Ham}}{{Straight}}{{ClassicChris}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=248215User:Esteemed hams2020-08-08T10:52:54Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Asian}}{{Australian}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Ham}}{{Straight}}{{ClassicChris}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=248214User:Esteemed hams2020-08-08T10:52:30Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Asian}}{{Australian}}{{JERK}}{{Observer}}{{Ham}}{{Straight}}{{classicchris}}{{AlecBensonLeary}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Template:ListOfVideos/2020&diff=248199Template:ListOfVideos/20202020-08-08T10:02:23Z<p>Esteemed hams: august</p>
<hr />
<div>==February 2020==<br />
*'''[[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2]]''' ''11 [[February 2020]]'' <small>(2:53:42)</small> {{Other}} {{Comedy}} {{Crazy}} {{Rage}}{{Financhu Crisis}} {{Live}}<br/> Chris does a live reading of the 7th through final chapter of the fan-fiction ''Sonichu Vs SNT''.<br />
<br />
*'''[[Xleepy#Welcome_to_Xleepy_-_Feat._Chris_Chan_.28Teaser.29|Welcome to Xleepy - Feat. Chris Chan (Teaser)]]''' ''29 [[February 2020]]'' <small>(1:38)</small> {{Crazy}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} <br/> Chris demonstrates his [[psychic powers]] as part of Xleepy's channel introduction video.<br />
<br />
==March 2020==<br />
*'''[[Sonic Rebuilt]]''' ''6 [[March 2020]]'' <small>(1:00:39)</small> {{Comics}} <br/> Chris contributes to the Sonic Rebuilt collaboration by recreating the scene where Sonic rescues Tails and Old Man Owl.<br />
<br />
==April 2020==<br />
*'''[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Reaction_Video:_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_1|Reaction Video: Red Vs Blue Part 1]]''' ''10 [[April 2020]]'' <small>(23:52)</small> {{Crazy}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} {{Live}}<br/> Chris reacts to the first part of ''Red vs Blue'' by the [[TF2 Analysts]].<br />
<br />
*'''[[Chris Chan & Max Mandu LIVE / Leftovers Tonight]]''' ''19 [[April 2020]]'' <small>(1:39:16)</small> {{Other}} {{Crazy}} {{Live}} <br/> Chris has a live interview with the Virginia-based YouTube channel leftovermedia along with local musician Max Mandu.<br />
<br />
==May 2020==<br />
*'''[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_2_Reaction_Video|TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 2 Reaction Video]]''' ''15 [[May 2020]]'' <small>(18:18)</small> {{Crazy}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} {{Live}}<br/> <s>Chris</s> "Sonichu" reacts to the second part of ''Red vs Blue'' by the [[TF2 Analysts]].<br />
<br />
==June 2020==<br />
*'''[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]''' ''12 [[June 2020]]'' <small>(38:37)</small> {{Crazy}} {{Live}}<br/> "Sonichu" reacts to the third part of ''Red vs Blue'' by the [[TF2 Analysts]], featuring Barb.<br />
<br />
== August 2020 ==<br />
*'''[[Chris's Last Will and Testament|IMG 0176]]''' ''08 [[August 2020]]'' <small>04:35</small> {{Crazy}}{{Tragedy}}<br/> "Sonichu"'s video will, as he prepares to send his belongings to two enablers/trolls</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Last_Will_and_Testament&diff=248184Chris's Last Will and Testament2020-08-08T08:59:45Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Chris's Last Will and Testament''', leaked under the name '''IMG 0176''' is a video will produced by Chris. Chris, under the possession of Sonichu, in the case of his death or disappearance prepares to leave his belongings to MKRNightVee and Kai/Kevin Fairchild. There is some significance in this video given that Chris may actually [[Chris and Death|KILL HIMSELF]].<br />
==Video==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = IMG 0176<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|icv7RQ9HPQg}}<br />
| stardate = 6 [[August 2020]] <br />
| style = {{Crazy|text}} {{Tragedy|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{Bubblegumnightmare|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
<br />
[''Chris is sitting at a desk in his room with the camera on it, showing him from his shoulders up.'']<br />
<br />
Kmm, hello, this is... Hello! This is Sonichu in... [''takes off glasses for dramatic effect''] the body of mama, Christine Weston Chander Sonichu, Ok, Chris-Chan Sonichu... anyway, I am recording this, as a video will, with my Rosey-Rosechu standing next to me, for in the [[ego|oca-]] for in the event, anything happens to me, [''points at himself''] in this, one body, that belongs to mama Chris-Chan, if anything happens, including, the very likely fooo, [[Dimensional_Merge|vanish from this dimension]], this body and me? And, this house gets left behind, and, anything else that happen- that transpires in this timeline, before the timeline changes, I wish to hereby, bequeath, all my remaining posse- all- of the remaining possessions between mine- and mama's that are in, and aro- this household, a- within the area of this [[Chris_and_religion|Temple]], I relinquish all- I will relinquish all that, t0- Megan Kathleen Ringo, who lives in the state of, Washington [''Nervously licks his lips'']... so, simply, she will- simply, sh- had to be sure to come, to help, sort things out, and shf- if she feels like it she can [[debt|move in]] and hep- as well, but that's a whole 'nother thing. That's a FAN going gle-gle-gle-gle-gle-gle the air conditioner just died out, so [''biggest shrug possible''] I had to take that as a sign, uh, anyway- aside from that, um, also, another note- that's set, but I would also- like to- also- help out around the house, who lives here within the state of Virginia, one, Kevin Fairchild, who lives in [[Dox|Fisherfield]], I'd like him to- [[Barbara]]! You're gonna [[ego#Entitlement|let him]] move in! You're gonna let him move in, he gonna help you with any remaining things, and artefacts within this house. And, Megan you'll have to work with him as well, he's very genuine, very kind, I believe you both will get along very well. And this, will definitely work out because you know me, I'm going, into C-197 [''Points to C-197''], our alternate dimension, and I'm gonna end up, uh, powering up this body [''Forgetting he's pretending to be Sonichu''], unlocking its- all of its alternate forms, and everything, ahm, you know me I'm a little bit [''Shrugs right shoulder suggestively''] this BRAIN IS SO DISORGANISED!!! [''Potentially realising that he's forgotten to be Sonichu, blaming it on the [[Chris's room|clutter and hoarding]] in his brain, and bangs the side of his head with the heel of his hand''], so bi-language isn't exactly syncing up with times, but yeah- anyway, everything goes to- everything of, Chris- everything of mine and Christine Weston Chandler Shonichu's [''Making clear hand gestures to indicate that he is Sonichu''], they go to, Megan Kathleen Ringo, and, I want Kevin Fairchild to come and move in, as well, because Barbra's gonna need as much help as possible, on the event that this house, this Temple, this- stays behind, while, if the event that I [''Points at himself''] suddenly vanish, without this house [''Adjusts hair''] and leaving it and everything else behind, and in this case also, all being obvious, this body will not stay behind because it's [[ego|ONE AND ONLY]] it's, one and only, the eyes, linked to this one brain! [''Chris has developed and is displaying here very high level [[Wikipedia: solipsism|solipsism]]''] If you you only knew, the camera, 000000000... of everybody else, the TRUE first person perspective. So many things in my mind, so please, pardon me if I seem a little bit erratic, but... this is my, last video will, and testament, on behalf of, Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, who was born as Christopher Weston Chandler, to Barbara and [[Bob|Robert]] Chandler in this dimension, in this timeline. I'll leave you all with that, and, the attorney, who will handle the, case and all that, and, helping, them at all, or, anybody else helping, with the situa- with the situation and all that, so, thank you.<br />
<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]|nextlink=}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Last_Will_and_Testament&diff=248180Chris's Last Will and Testament2020-08-08T08:39:01Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Transcript */</p>
<hr />
<div>'''Chris's Last Will and Testament''', leaked under the name '''IMG 0176''' is a video will produced by Chris. Chris, in the case of his death or disappearance leaves his belongs to MKRNightVee and Kai/Kevin Fairchild.<br />
==Video==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = IMG 0176<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|icv7RQ9HPQg}}<br />
| stardate = 6 [[August 2020]] <br />
| style = {{Crazy|text}} {{Tragedy|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{Bubblegumnightmare|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
hello this is<br />
hello this is sanchu in the body of<br />
mama christine weston chandler sonichu<br />
okay chris chancellor<br />
anyway i'm recording this as a video<br />
will<br />
with my wife rosie rose tuesday next to<br />
me for any<br />
for in the event anything happens to me<br />
and this one body that belongs to mama<br />
chris chan<br />
anything happens including a very likely<br />
just<br />
vanish from this dimension this body in<br />
me<br />
and this house gets left behind and<br />
anything else that happens to the<br />
transport in this timeline before the<br />
timeline changes<br />
i wish to hereby bequeath<br />
all my remaining percent all of the<br />
remaining possessions between mine<br />
and mamas that are in in their this<br />
household<br />
and within the area of this temple i<br />
relinquish all i will relinquish all<br />
that<br />
to megan kathleen<br />
ringo who lives in the state of<br />
washington<br />
so simply i simply have to be sure to<br />
come over to come<br />
to help sort things out and<br />
she and if she feels like it she can<br />
move in and help<br />
as well but that's a whole other thing<br />
that's a fan going good click click like<br />
the air conditioner just died out<br />
so i have to take that as a sign<br />
uh anyway aside from that um also<br />
on another note<br />
that set but i would also<br />
like to also help out around the house<br />
who lives here in the state of virginia<br />
one kevin fairchild who lives in<br />
fisherfield<br />
i'd like him to<br />
barbara you're gonna let him move in you<br />
gotta let him move in<br />
you're gonna help you with any remaining<br />
things and artifacts within this house<br />
and megan you'll have to work with him<br />
as well<br />
he's very genuine very kind i believe<br />
you both will get along very well<br />
and this will definitely work out<br />
because you know me<br />
i'm going into c197<br />
our alternate dimension and i'm gonna<br />
end up uh<br />
02:38<br />
powering up this body unlocking it's all<br />
of its alternate forms and everything<br />
i you know me i'm a little bit this<br />
brain is so disorganized so<br />
by language is not exactly syncing up at<br />
times<br />
but yeah anyway everything goes to<br />
everything if chris everything of mine<br />
and<br />
christine weston chandler sanchez<br />
they go to megan kathleen ringo<br />
and i want<br />
kevin fairchild to come and move in as<br />
well<br />
because barbara's gonna need as much<br />
help as possible on the event that this<br />
house this temple just<br />
stays behind while if the event that i<br />
just suddenly vanish without this house<br />
and leaving it and everything else<br />
behind<br />
and in that case also uh being obvious<br />
this body would not stand back because<br />
it's one and only it's<br />
one and only the eyes linked to this one<br />
brain<br />
if you only knew camera zero zero zero<br />
now everybody else the true first person<br />
perspective<br />
so many things in my mind so please for<br />
me if i seem a little bit erratic but<br />
this is my last video will and testament<br />
on behalf of christine weston chandler<br />
sanchez<br />
was born as christopher weston chandler<br />
to barbara and robert chandler in this<br />
dimension<br />
in this timeline i'll leave y'all with<br />
that<br />
and the attorney who will handle the<br />
case and all that and helping<br />
them at all or anybody else helping them<br />
get situated with the situation and all<br />
that so<br />
thank you<br />
<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]|nextlink=}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Last_Will_and_Testament&diff=248178Chris's Last Will and Testament2020-08-08T08:35:40Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Transcript */</p>
<hr />
<div>'''Chris's Last Will and Testament''', leaked under the name '''IMG 0176''' is a video will produced by Chris. Chris, in the case of his death or disappearance leaves his belongs to MKRNightVee and Kai/Kevin Fairchild.<br />
==Video==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = IMG 0176<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|icv7RQ9HPQg}}<br />
| stardate = 6 [[August 2020]] <br />
| style = {{Crazy|text}} {{Tragedy|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{Bubblegumnightmare|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{Transcript}}<br />
<br />
hello this is<br />
hello this is sanchu in the body of<br />
mama christine weston chandler sonichu<br />
okay chris chancellor<br />
anyway i'm recording this as a video<br />
will<br />
with my wife rosie rose tuesday next to<br />
me for any<br />
for in the event anything happens to me<br />
and this one body that belongs to mama<br />
chris chan<br />
anything happens including a very likely<br />
just<br />
vanish from this dimension this body in<br />
me<br />
and this house gets left behind and<br />
anything else that happens to the<br />
transport in this timeline before the<br />
timeline changes<br />
i wish to hereby bequeath<br />
all my remaining percent all of the<br />
remaining possessions between mine<br />
and mamas that are in in their this<br />
household<br />
and within the area of this temple i<br />
relinquish all i will relinquish all<br />
that<br />
to megan kathleen<br />
ringo who lives in the state of<br />
washington<br />
so simply i simply have to be sure to<br />
come over to come<br />
to help sort things out and<br />
she and if she feels like it she can<br />
move in and help<br />
as well but that's a whole other thing<br />
that's a fan going good click click like<br />
the air conditioner just died out<br />
so i have to take that as a sign<br />
uh anyway aside from that um also<br />
on another note<br />
that set but i would also<br />
like to also help out around the house<br />
who lives here in the state of virginia<br />
one kevin fairchild who lives in<br />
fisherfield<br />
i'd like him to<br />
barbara you're gonna let him move in you<br />
gotta let him move in<br />
you're gonna help you with any remaining<br />
things and artifacts within this house<br />
and megan you'll have to work with him<br />
as well<br />
he's very genuine very kind i believe<br />
you both will get along very well<br />
and this will definitely work out<br />
because you know me<br />
i'm going into c197<br />
our alternate dimension and i'm gonna<br />
end up uh<br />
02:38<br />
powering up this body unlocking it's all<br />
of its alternate forms and everything<br />
i you know me i'm a little bit this<br />
brain is so disorganized so<br />
by language is not exactly syncing up at<br />
times<br />
but yeah anyway everything goes to<br />
everything if chris everything of mine<br />
and<br />
christine weston chandler sanchez<br />
they go to megan kathleen ringo<br />
and i want<br />
kevin fairchild to come and move in as<br />
well<br />
because barbara's gonna need as much<br />
help as possible on the event that this<br />
house this temple just<br />
stays behind while if the event that i<br />
just suddenly vanish without this house<br />
and leaving it and everything else<br />
behind<br />
and in that case also uh being obvious<br />
this body would not stand back because<br />
it's one and only it's<br />
one and only the eyes linked to this one<br />
brain<br />
if you only knew camera zero zero zero<br />
now everybody else the true first person<br />
perspective<br />
so many things in my mind so please for<br />
me if i seem a little bit erratic but<br />
this is my last video will and testament<br />
on behalf of christine weston chandler<br />
sanchez<br />
was born as christopher weston chandler<br />
to barbara and robert chandler in this<br />
dimension<br />
in this timeline i'll leave y'all with<br />
that<br />
and the attorney who will handle the<br />
case and all that and helping<br />
them at all or anybody else helping them<br />
get situated with the situation and all<br />
that so<br />
thank you<br />
<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]|nextlink=}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=248164User:Esteemed hams2020-08-08T08:10:32Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* In progress */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Asian}}<br />
{{Australian}}<br />
{{JERK}}<br />
{{Observer}}<br />
{{Ham}}<br />
{{Straight}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== Originally created/In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[Chris's Last Will and Testament]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=248162User:Esteemed hams2020-08-08T08:08:44Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* In progress */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Asian}}<br />
{{Australian}}<br />
{{JERK}}<br />
{{Observer}}<br />
{{Ham}}<br />
{{Straight}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== In progress ==<br />
*[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
*[[IMG 0176]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Last_Will_and_Testament&diff=248158Chris's Last Will and Testament2020-08-08T07:52:47Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Chris's Last Will and Testament''', leaked under the name '''IMG 0176''' is a video will produced by Chris on Discord on the 6th of August 2020, amidst his possession by Sonichu. First leaked by Cwcki user Ihasnoname on 7 August 2020, Chris, in the case of his death or disappearance leaves his belongs to MKRNightVee and Kai/Kevin Fairchild.<br />
==Video==<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = IMG 0176<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|icv7RQ9HPQg}}<br />
| stardate = 6 [[August 2020]] <br />
| style = {{Crazy|text}} {{Tragedy|text}}<br />
| shirt = {{Bubblegumnightmare|text}}<br />
| previous = [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==Transcript==<br />
{{Transcript}}<br />
Hello this is sonichu in the body of momma Christine weston chandler sonichan ok chris chan sonichu anyway i am recording this...<br />
<br />
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]]|nextlink=}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Last_Will_and_Testament&diff=248143Chris's Last Will and Testament2020-08-08T07:12:43Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>IMG 0176 is a video will produced by Chris on the 6th of August 2020, amidst his possession by Sonichu.<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = IMG 0176<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icv7RQ9HPQg}}<br />
| stardate = 6 [[August 2020]] <br />
| style = {{Crazy|text}}<br />
| shirt = The Bubblegum Nightmare<br />
| previous = Name of previous video<br />
}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Last_Will_and_Testament&diff=248139Chris's Last Will and Testament2020-08-08T07:06:40Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>IMG 0176 is video produced by Chris on the 6th of August 2020, amidst his possession by Sonichu.<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = IMG 0176<br />
| video = {{#ev:youtube|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icv7RQ9HPQg}}<br />
| stardate = 06/08/2020<br />
| shirt = The Bubblegum Nightmare<br />
| previous = Name of previous video<br />
}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris%27s_Last_Will_and_Testament&diff=248138Chris's Last Will and Testament2020-08-08T07:03:31Z<p>Esteemed hams: Created page with "IMG 0176 is video produced by Chris on the 6th of August 2020, amidst his possession by Sonichu. {{Infobox/video | name = IMG 0176 | video = {{https://www.y..."</p>
<hr />
<div>IMG 0176 is video produced by Chris on the 6th of August 2020, amidst his possession by Sonichu.<br />
{{Infobox/video<br />
| name = IMG 0176<br />
| video = {{https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icv7RQ9HPQg}}<br />
| stardate = 06/08/2020<br />
| shirt = shirt template<br />
| previous = Name of previous video<br />
}}</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=248137User:Esteemed hams2020-08-08T07:00:46Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* In progress */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Asian}}<br />
{{Australian}}<br />
{{JERK}}<br />
{{Observer}}<br />
{{Ham}}<br />
{{Straight}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== In progress ==<br />
[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
[[IMG 0176]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=247760User:Esteemed hams2020-08-05T12:33:26Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Asian}}<br />
{{Australian}}<br />
{{JERK}}<br />
{{Observer}}<br />
{{Ham}}<br />
{{Straight}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== In progress ==<br />
[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Alcohol&diff=247476Alcohol2020-08-04T10:11:35Z<p>Esteemed hams: /* Discovery and use */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Taxpayermoney}} <br />
[[Image:Sonichurosey.png|thumb|Ever since getting married to [[Rosechu]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] finds that Reeb helps dull the pain.]]<br />
<br />
'''Alcohol''', much like [[sex toys|shoving things]] up his ass, was something that Chris used to preach against, until he eventually tried it and discovered he loved the somewhat pleasant effect.<br />
<br />
==Background==<br />
[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Finally Loosened up and flew to Long Island June 12, 2009. '''Keep It Responsible'''; ONLY One in a day, or 7 or less in all in a week. ''(Quote from [[CWCipedia]])'']]<br />
<br />
Chris describes alcohol as a "slow-acting poison" in his [[FUTURE MESSAGE]] video. He also touches on the subject during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], where in line 309, he mentions that he would not go to a singles bar because of it (and cigarettes). When asked about it in [[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]], he stated that it "causes [[Chris and health|liver dysfunction]] and likely [[Chris and anger|bar fights]] and [[6 June 2010|automobile accidents]]".<br />
<br />
Chris delivered a particularly effusive tirade in one of his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]:<br />
<br />
{{quote|ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY SMOKE AND DRINK, don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO DEATH WITH CANCER, LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND GROSS AND DISGUSTING!|Chris, to Reggie, early in 2009.}}<br />
<br />
==Discovery and use==<br />
Despite this, a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] [[Chris's Big Night Out|video]] of Chris drinking a [[Long Island Iced Tea]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 12 [[June 2009]], perhaps showing us Chris will be willing to throw all his principles out the window when chances of being around a female arise.<br />
<br />
Alcohol was mentioned briefly in a video shortly after, titled [[I'm Sorry, Dude]]. In this video, Chris makes an offer to treat Logan to drinks; as opposed to his past offers of "coffee or soda" to those whom he wanted to get to know. Alcohol was briefly revisited again on camera in [[Chris's Big Night Out II]], where Chris was seen drinking. Chris's first recorded video where he appeared visibly intoxicated was [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]. Alcohol began a slow and steady progression into Chris's life; this was made obvious in an email to [[Regina]], where he said ''"I've also tasted Mike's Hard Lemonade, Budwiser, Miller, Micolobe ''[Michelob]'', Samual Adams and a couple of others. And I look forward to sampling more varities of liqour."''<br />
<br />
Budweiser is apparently his brand of choice, based on eyewitness reports from [[Fridays After Five]] and his account of a trip to a bar prior to visiting [[the GAMe PLACe]] on [[6 June 2010]]. Meanwhile, a [[100 2281|video]] from mid-[[October 2010]] showed Chris slugging Kahlúa straight from the bottle, although he didn't seem to enjoy it too much.<br />
<br />
When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 6#Sonichu and drinking|Mailbag 6]] challenged him regarding his shift in attitude, Chris replied, "I discourage underage drinking fully; I wanted to try it once for myself."<br />
<br />
In [[Mailbag 16#Alcoholism|Mailbag 16]], from [[December 2009]], he described his drinking habits in more detail: "I am more of a Social Drinker; I generally do NOT spend a weekly amount on drinks; I only drink at like a party or with a friend on rare ocassions [sic]." This remark was met with some skepticism from [[trolls]], since Chris has no friends, much less any who would invite him to parties.<br />
<br />
Even after discarding his original hard-line attitude, though, Chris still found opportunities to get a little preachy regarding the demon liquor. In [[Mailbag 33#Chris and the census|Mailbag 33]], from early [[January 2010]], he remarked, "And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, unresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents." He also, in [[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]], advanced the bizarre theory that drinking while pregnant "CAN PROVOKE [[homos]]exuality in the child."<br />
<br />
In [[6 June 2010]], Chris revealed that he had been drinking at a bar before driving to the [[The GAMe PLACe]] and getting into a confrontation with a [[manajerk]].<br />
<br />
Alcohol may be contributing to Chris' declining health. Since his decision to leave the Internet and instead seek real life interaction, Chris has revealed to us that he spent most of his day sitting in bars and playing on his Nintendo DSi. While he once claimed to be a "Social Drinker", it is becoming quite obvious that he is anything but. Christian's childlike perception of the world is most likely deafening his awareness to the substance's advancement of relevancy in his life. At this point, he may be turning to alcohol for escapism. "I went over to a bar, and I had a Bud. A bottle of Bud. And I p- and then I played some solitaire on my DS, while I- while I waited to the- uh, while I waited to the hour." In addition, Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary, but may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Death|problems]] in the near future.<br />
<br />
It is obvious that with Chris's current loneliness and depression, his alcohol use may yield repercussions in his life - and it did. In [[July 2016]], Chris, while thought to have been drunk and depressed over lack of progress on his gender transition, [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced open his taint with a knife]] to simulate the opening of a vagina.<br />
<br />
Alcohol made another appearance in the [[Cherokean Chant]] performance, in which Chris states he had five swigs of vodka.<br />
<br />
The [[Teen Troon Squad]], aged 18/19, tried to get Chris to buy them Reeb in 2018.<br />
<br />
==Chandler family and alcohol==<br />
<br />
It is interesting to note that [[Cole Smithey]] mentions that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|met at a bar and acted like a couple of drunken losers]].<br />
<br />
Chris's family line has a history with alcohol. Chris's maternal great-grandfather, Robert Pettis Wynn, "drank heavily and had a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]] during the time he was married. Family stories say [[Father Call|he failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children]] ...there are others who say he was a moonshiner."<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref><br />
<br />
==In the comic==<br />
[[Image:RealReeb.jpg|thumb|The official drink of [[Kick the Autistic]].]]<br />
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|left|A worker at [[4-cent_garbage.com]] downing a relaxing can of Reeb.]]<br />
<br />
In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' Chris refers to beer in all instances as "Reeb" which is just "Beer" spelled backwards. He probably thinks that this is very, very clever.<br />
<br />
At first glance this seems odd, until you realize Chris still thinks Sonichu is targeted towards children (despite the graphic sex scene in issue 8, and frequent depictions of violent death), and so, he feels he must censor any mention of alcohol in the comic. This is a common theme in English-translated [[anime]] shows such as ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', particularly those aimed at a younger audience.<br />
<br />
Possessing or drinking alcohol was also one of the worst crimes to commit in [[CWCville]], and could have led to a $1,500 fine or ten years in prison<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> (the fact that Chris thinks that ten years in prison and a $1,500 fine are interchangeable is indicative of his broader attitude towards [[Chris and money|money]]). It is also interesting to note that this punishment is much more lenient than the CWCville penalty for [[homos|homosexuality]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|Mailbag 31]]</ref> And you thought Chris was intolerant.<br />
<br />
Chris later said in his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video that the prohibition had since been repealed.<br />
<br />
"Reeb" is the drink of choice for the drunkards working at [[4-cent_garbage.com]]. It should also be noted that there really is a drink called Reeb; it's a Chinese beer produced in Shanghai, though it's doubtful that Chris knew about it.<br />
{{clear}}<br />
<br />
==Sources==<br />
<references /><br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]<br />
*[[4-cent garbage.com]], where the workers often drink Reeb<br />
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]], where the CWCville crime is mentioned<br />
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], where he gives "advice" on the subject<br />
<br />
[[Category:Social life]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]<br />
[[Category:Things Chris once hated but now likes]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams/sandbox&diff=247474User:Esteemed hams/sandbox2020-08-04T10:10:14Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div><br />
== Why? ==<br />
Because I want to be able to plan my work out without publishing it first.<br />
<br />
==Alcohol==<br />
Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary, but may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Death|problems]] in the near future.</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams/sandbox&diff=247472User:Esteemed hams/sandbox2020-08-04T10:09:54Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div><br />
== Why? ==<br />
Because I want to be able to plan my work out without publishing it first.<br />
<br />
==Alcohol==<br />
Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary, but may lead to [[Obesity|further]][[Death|problems]] in the near future.</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:Esteemed_hams&diff=247081User:Esteemed hams2020-08-03T12:06:07Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Asian}}<br />
{{Australian}}<br />
{{JERK}}<br />
{{Observer}}<br />
{{Ham}}<br />
<br />
== Interesting discoveries ==<br />
*Chris-chan's [[I Got A Fish]] in 2011. I was 8<br />
*50% of the security cameras in my school are fake<br />
*My city is home to one of the shittiest musical acts in history, Tame Impala<br />
*I am a woman-stealing JERK<br />
*Chris can't play yu-gi-oh<br />
*If you cheat on your girl once a month, that's 12 days per year and 97% loyalty<br />
<br />
== In progress ==<br />
[[Pokemon GO]]<br />
<br />
== Sandbox(s) ==<br />
[[User:Esteemed hams/sandbox|SandBoxUn]]</div>Esteemed hamshttps://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Pok%C3%A9mon_GO&diff=247050Pokémon GO2020-08-03T08:15:13Z<p>Esteemed hams: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{Incomplete}}<br />
: ''For the original creation by Nintendo/The Pokemon Company, see [[Pokémon]].''<br />
[[Image:Filthy carpet in Work Room - July 2019.jpg|thumb|right|The stains are temporary. Look into my eyes, for they are forever.]]<br />
[[Image:Pokemon Go.png|center]]<br />
== History ==<br />
<br />
Pokémon Go is a 2016 augmented reality (AR) mobile game developed and published by Niantic in collaboration with The Pokémon Company for iOS and Android devices. The game consists of players physically travelling around to find and catch pokemon that randomly pop up on the map.<br />
<br />
On release, the game became a massive hit, attracting players like Norwegian prime minister Erna Solberg.<ref>https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/oct/05/norway-prime-minister-caught-playing-pokemon-go-parliament-erna-solberg</ref> Although the craze has slowly fizzled out, it maintains a significant fanbase by devoted fans of Pokémon, such as Chris.<br />
<br />
== Chris and the game ==<br />
[[Image:go.png|thumb|right|An artist's impression of Chris's daily Pokemon GO activities]]<br />
{{Quote|Once we got to the restaurant, [Chris] pulled out a [[Idea Book Case|duct tape wallet]] to be able to play Pokémon go on two phones at once, like any sane person.|extract from [[Noah]]'s ex-girlfriend's describing of a lunch with Chris}}<br />
<br />
As with every single new item to exist on this planet, Chris was quick to pick up the game as one of his hobbies, later stating it as proof of the [[Dimensional Merge]]. As what the game was originally marketed to do, Chris would go out and catch virtual Pokémon as any Pokémon trainer would. Chris would later photograph his Pokémon collection at his [[14 Branchland Court|home]], providing a partial tour of his residence in the process.<br />
<br />
Chris has been shown to be very addicted, many years after the game lost steam. At [[BronyCon 2019]], people travelling with Chris quoted that he would be "hatching eggs on Pokemon Go.. while at stoplights." This shows that not only is Chris hooked on the game, but also willing to put the lives of others at risk while doing so.<br />
<br />
== Observations ==<br />
<br />
With the images provided of Chris's Pokémon collection, one could easily observe the current condition of his home with it. And no, it's not good. The majority of the said photos reveal Chris's derelict, abandoned back and front-yard. <br />
*As seen in one of the Celebi photos (refer to gallery below), [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] greenhouse is overfilled with piles of Chris and Barb's hoard.<br />
*The portrait of [[Mewtwo]] reveals damaged/worn-out paint on the Chandler residence, likely the aftermath of the [[Weens|egging]] incident, showing the neglect which Chris and Barb have show to their home.<br />
*The gazebo has clearly been abandoned. Its timber is shown to be deteriorating, and the structure itself is surrounded by debris resembling [[Destruction of Chris's House|wood tinder]].<br />
<br />
==Microtransactions==<br />
Being a mobile game in [[2020]], the game runs on revenue from microtransactions and special event ticket fees. Chris has spent 14.99$ on ticket fees for the PokemonGOfest2020 event for a 2 day event on July 25 and 26.<Ref>[[July 2020 social media posts#Need friends]]</ref> How much more of the [[tugboat]] is wasted on this is unknown.<br />
<br />
== Relationship with the merge ==<br />
<br />
{{Main|Chris and reality|Dimensional Merge}}<br />
<br />
{{Quote|Personally, I wish Everyone of this world, in addition to those who have already have, could Feel and fully Witness the effects of the Dimension Merge Happening, as I have. Fortunately, we do have bunches of confirmed sightings of bunches of the OCs, including Inuyasha, himself|Chris, on the 15th of [[April 2019 social media posts|April 2019]], expressing how Pokemon GO would be available after the merge}}<br />
<br />
Chris appears to use Pokémon Go as a form of [[Chris and coping|coping mechanism]]: the augmented reality nature of the game allows virtual Pokemon to exist within the same frame as a real-life location (i.e 14 BC), re-enforcing his belief in the Dimensional Merge.<br />
<br />
== What now? ==<br />
<br />
As of 2020, Chris still actively plays Pokémon Go. Chris has tweeted his Pokemon as part of the 2020 Go-fest, while continuing to roleplay as Sonichu. <br />
<br />
== Gallery ==<br />
<br />
{{collapsible|Gallery|<center><gallery><br />
File:Chandler Yard from Pokemon Go - April 2019 1.jpg<br />
File:Chandler Yard from Pokemon Go - April 2019 2.jpg<br />
File:WildVirginia2.jpg <br />
File:Chandler Yard from Pokemon Go - April 2019 5.jpg<br />
File:Chandler Yard from Pokemon Go - April 2019 6.jpg<br />
File:WildVirginia3.jpg <br />
File:John2.jpg<br />
File:WildVirginia1.jpg<br />
File:Mewtwo May 2020.jpg<br />
File:Inuyasha the Blaziken 1.jpg|Oh, bloody hell<br />
File:InuyashaRuckersvilleSign.jpg<br />
File:Edziz1wWsAEIzmn.png<br />
File:Ed49EjvX0AIzWGe.png<br />
File:July2020pokemongofest2.jpg<br />
File:July2020pokemongofest1.jpg<br />
</gallery></center>}}<br />
<br />
== References ==<br />
<br />
<references/><br />
<br />
[[Category:Video Games]]</div>Esteemed hams