CWCki - User contributions [en]

Pokémon

2011-03-08T20:37:05Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Satoshi tajiri.jpg|thumb|Original creator of the series, Satoshi Tajiri. Like Chris, he suffers from a form of [[autism]]. Unlike Chris, he actually did something with his life.]]

'''''Pokémon''''' is one of [[Nintendo]]'s greatest creations, a Japanese cultural phenomenon that is beloved by children around the world, and a billion dollar multimedia franchise encompassing [[video games]], [[card games]], toys, an [[anime]] series, and much, much more.

Yet it only took [[Christian Weston Chandler|one autistic manchild]] to forever ruin it for an entire generation.

==Chris-chan in the ''Pokémon'' World==
Chris, according to the "[[Sonichu]]" article on the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu CWCipedia], sees himself as an official Pokémon gym leader. He claims to have over 387 Pokémon leveled-up to level 100 on his ''Pokémon Diamond'' game, all of them being trained without any kind of cheating or Rare Candies. It's not certain whether this is truth; however, given the fact he owns [[List of Chris's games|every ''Pokémon'' game]] and game system, has no life at all, and has paid off several mortgages in ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', it may very well be true.

As the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon Gym, Chris has a fairly unimaginative team:
:* [[Sonichu]] - A [[Parody|recolor]]
:* [[Anime|Inuyasha]] - A [[Wikipedia:Blaziken|Blaziken]]
:* [[Gregg Mays|Greg]] - A [[Wikipedia:Swampert|Swampert]]
:* [[Chris and his Ego|Christina]] - A [[Wikipedia:Sceptile|Sceptile]]
:* [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa]] - A [[Wikipedia:Gardevoir|Gardevoir]]
:* [[Random-access humor|Bagoner]] - A [[Wikipedia:Salamence|Salamence]]

==Pokémon characters appearing in ''Sonichu'' comics==

===[[Wikipedia:Pikachu|Pikachu]]===
Transformed into [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. Despite the importance to ''Sonichu'' lore, this is basically the only time a Pikachu appears or is mentioned in the comic. From this point on, it's all just shitty recolors of Chris's first shitty recolor.

===[[Wikipedia:Raichu|Raichu]]===
Transformed into [[Rosechu]] by the [[Rainbow]] in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

===[[Wikipedia:Dragonite|David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite]]===
A Dragonite Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]".

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0|issue #0]] (Episodes #2 and #3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter.

===[[Wikipedia:Zapdos|Zapdos]]===
[[Image:Zapdos.jpg|thumb|Zapdos is not amused with Chris's faggotry.]]
An Electric-type [[Pokémon]] and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of [[Black Sonichu]].

===[[Wikipedia:Raikou|Raikou]]===
Used by Naitsirhc as a getaway ride in the same episode.

===[[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]]===
[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu...[[Chris and art|we think.]]]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such. It should be noted that Scyther cannot actually learn the move Razor Leaf in the video games.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild would tell Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "Cut-Sharp" Clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a [[fail|failure]] to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes."

===[[Wikipedia:Venusaur|Venusaur]]===
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects. On the other hand, she may have rightly tried to drop a coconut on his head.

===[[Wikipedia:Swampert|Swampert]]===
A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to an end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== [[Wikipedia:Wailord|Boulder-Dropping Whale]] ===
[[Image:Boulder_Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder-Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised [[Bubbles Rosechu]], and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.

Originally identified as a common whale in the audiobooks, Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder-Dropping Whale currently resides on the Moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]]===
[[Image:Mewtwo.JPG|thumb|right|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first ''Pokémon'' feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers. Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this, though, it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokemon team. It can be assumed that this is the same one.

=== [[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]===
[[File:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|right|A wild [[Barb|Snorlax]] in repose.]]
A Snorlax briefly appeared in Christian's "Backyard Safari" [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1,500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops.]]

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

===[[Wikipedia:Jigglypuff|Jigglypuff]]===
Served as inspiration for [[Jiggliami]], an "original" character created by [[Blanca]]. Appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]].

===[[Yawning Squirtle|Squirtle]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Mudkip|Mudkip]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Seadra|Seadra]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Goldeen|Goldeen]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Staryu|Staryu]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Corsola|Corsola]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Octillery|Octillery]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Mantine|Mantine]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Corphish|Corphish]]===
Appeared in the underwater scene on page 59 of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===[[Wikipedia:Flaaffy|Flaaffy]]===
Appears as [[Layla Flaaffy]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===[[Wikipedia:Sneasel|Sneasel]]===
Appears as [[Reginald Sneasel]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===[[Wikipedia:Nidoking|Nidoking]]===
Used by Naitsirhc to battle [[Bionic]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===[[Wikipedia:Voltorb|Voltorb]]===
Used by Alec Benson Leary to murder [[Simonla Rosechu]] via Explosion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

==Plagiarism in ''Sonichu''==
Despite the fact that Chris primarily uses Pokémon in his series, not only is he not above using the characters, he's also not above using various ''ideas'' from the series. Amongst those include:

* In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], [[Flame the Sunbird]] says that he "could use some pants." This is ripped off from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon: The Movie 2000|''Pokémon: The Movie 2000'']] when the Pokémon Slowking, freezing due to the weather changes, wishes for a pair to keep himself warm.
* Despite "not being a Pokémon," Flame uses Pokémon attacks in his one notable appearance. Speculation abounds, but it could be that Chris assumes that "Pokémon rules" apply to all intelligent mystical animals the way anyone with a guitar can pull off solo specials from ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.
* In [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], [[Kacey]]'s sister resembles Candice, one of the 4th Generation gym leaders.
* In the biography for [[Rosechu]], it is mentioned that [[Kel]] ended up getting the Pichu who'd become Rosechu because she missed out on getting Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle. This is a ripoff of how Ash Ketchum got Pikachu, except for the fact that Ash and Pikachu didn't hit it off until Pikachu saw how far Ash would go to protect it.
* In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Sonichu inexplicably knows Iron Tail, a Steel-type attack, for use on the Rock/Ground-type Liquid (Steel is super effective against Rock). This is stolen, again, from Pikachu, who learned the same move so the writers could let Ash battle Roxanne (and other Rock-types) without breaking the rules of the game and pissing off fans. The difference is that leading up to the battle, an episode was spent to show Pikachu learning the move. It is to be noted that in the video games, Pikachu is able to learn this move through the use of an item.

==See also==
* [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]
* [[Card_games#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG|''Pokémon TCG'']]
* [[CWC's Pokésite 2]]
* [[Pokéwalker of Fail]]

[[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Kacey Call 17

2011-03-06T18:29:06Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[Image:Miltank.gif|What Chris thinks Kacey would look like as a [[Pokemon]].|thumb]]

In this short call, [[Chris]] and [[Kacey]] talk about which [[Pokemon ]]Kacey would be. She's offended Chris called her a Miltank in conversations with Kim. Chris also talks about a [[troll]] trying to copyright [[Sonichu]] - apparently Chris sent a handwritten letter to the Library of Congress asking for an FBI investigation to find out who is the original creator of the electric abomination. After just 8 minutes, Chris leaves because of a headache and having to use the bathroom.

==Transcript==

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I could be a little better right now. You see...
 '''Chris:''' Aww, long day?
 '''Kacey:''' The- well... not only that, but I got an E-mail from Kim, and... she told me that you guys were talking about [[Pokemon]], which is... cool and you know, we were girl-talking and all 'cause we've been playing together... uhm... but anyway...
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah... uh... yeah... I mea- I was a- I was on a... spur of the moment thing at the time and I thought about it further. I thought you'd be more as a Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A what?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A Delibird?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... well, thing is... uhm... even before I get into that... why did you call me a Miltank?
 '''Chris:''' I thought Milt- I thought Miltanks were cute. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' It's a- it's a- Chris, it's a COW! You called me a COW! Do you- do you not know how offensive that is to women?!
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry. 
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... you might as well just call me fat or something.
 '''Chris:''' No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Besides, it- bes- its somebody just fooling around, you know... it-it was just loose talk, and I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, Chris... if somebody asked me what I would call somebody, I'd - if it's a girl - I'd make sure that I didn't include things that are like - ''cows''.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... yeah... OK. I'm sorry. Anyway, yeah, I- yeah, I apologize- i just sent an E-mail to Kim telling her...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what... what if I called you, like, a [[Snorlax]] or something? I mean, how would you feel? I mean, couldn't you at least... a Skitty or something?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Skitty didn't come to mind. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' *sigh*...
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... *short pause* anyway, yeah... Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' *sigh*... OK... I... that's the one that gives out, like... presents... right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, you're always full... you're always full of [[DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|pleasant surprises]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...OK.
 '''Chris:''' And you are cute.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, at lea- at least it's a penguin. I do like penguins.
 '''Chris:''' OK. I never thought of- I never imagined Delibird being a penguin, but yeah, I see that now.
 '''Kacey:''' He- he is a penguin. The Pokedex says so.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I guess I didn't read that part.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmm.
 '''Chris:''' OK. Well, anyway... uh... yeah aside from that... hmm... I'm not sure I'm in the mood to talk now... I got a bit of a headache right now. And... uh... yeah, I was gonna go hit the restroom, but then- then you called me.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... are you gonna take, like, an aspirin or something?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna take- I'm gonna take a... I'm gonna take a non-aspirin. We- i- it works a little better than regular aspirin, you know. My parents agree with that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, it's probably best for you to... like, you shouldn't always take aspirin.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So... what happened with you today?
 '''Chris:''' Ah... what happened with me today... uh... yeah, I don't know if Kim told you that I was E-mailed last night, but, you know, it was like this [[troll]]... uh... just claiming to have... already sent, like, sent in this claim for... register the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] of [[Sonichu]] under his name.. which s- which should not be doable anyway... uh... but anyway, eve- even copied and pasted details, like, if he was actually doing it from my [???] site.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... would you be able to prove against it? Because, if you don't have definate proof, and, I mean, just having some drawings isn't gonna do it, I mean, you'd be screwed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you did finalize the copyright a long time ago. They're gonna wonder why you waited so long, and... I mean, you're just gonna be out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok, you see- Ok. One thing is... Yeah, I did- I did regist- I did put my claim for the copyright... apparently last sep- apparently last september. And I found- I found the case number for that... I still have the account on there... on the Library of Congress website. And, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, documents are easy to forge, I mean, the same effort you took drawing in the first place, they can use it to get the coypright. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway- uh... I think I told you before that, like, you know, I was under a misunderstanding about what I sent through the snail mail... so... that's why... and then, uh... I should've gotten... I should request those papers about that time... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' What about snail mail, you sent something? Or you recieved something?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... well look, I filled out the application online, and so- should send something via snail mail, but I was not made clear on what to send in via snail mail... and I shou- I should have requested those papers back then...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did you ever recieve a certificate, or did you send it certified mail, I mean, stuff like that you have to send certified mail. If you didn't get a certificate back, then you're kinda out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, i didn't- I didn't get a certificate.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then... you can't prove it's yours.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes I can... yes I can but anyway- anyway... anyway...
 '''Kacey:''' Can't legally.
 '''Chris:''' EARLIER TODAY... earlier today... I... I wrote a handwritten letter... to the Library of Congress about like, you know... yeah... this guy should not have the rights... to have the copyright on... stop him and... I have proved that I am the original creator... I even found... hand-drawings from as early as [[2000]]-[[2001]]... i mean... I even encouraged them to do [[Jerkops|FBI]] investigations between him and me... I would even welcome them to come to my home address to investigate that. I think they would find more stuff here at my house than they would over there! And I... anyway... I sent those hand-drawings...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... that- that doesn't mean anything to them. I mean, you could be doing that to the actual copyright holder, i mean, they're not gonna waste money on an FBI investigation to do this, you know that, right? It's gonna come down to who has the better lawyer.
 '''Chris:''' *sigh*... Anyway, plus- plus I'm also, uh...[???] with a copyright lawyer here in Charlottesville... uh... 'scuse me... and my father and I going down tomorrow for a consultation... talk about the situation.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you have the money to hire him?
 '''Chris:''' *sigh*... At this point it's just a consultation...
 '''Kacey:''' They can charge you for those. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' Uh- but- I checked with him and I ask- I asked him all and he said that the consultation is free.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, but... that's where they... get you hooked in, I mean... just watch out for that, because consultations, even free ones, can turn into... not-free ones.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. All right. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's just how the system works. Som- You know, people do it all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok. Mmm. Ok, well listen, listen I gotta go get my non-aspirin and use the bathroom, so... I'll talk to you tomorrow, OK?
 '''Kacey:''' OK.
 '''Chris:''' Aight, you take care. Get some rest yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' OK, all right. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
[call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?8gfn84h4wfvearc mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 16]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 18]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 17

2011-03-06T18:28:19Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[Image:Miltank.gif|What Chris thinks Kacey would look like as a [[Pokemon]].|thumb]]

In this short call, Chris and Kacey talk about which Pokemon Kacey would be. She's offended Chris called her a Miltank in E-mails to Kim. Chris also talks about a [[troll]] trying to copyright [[Sonichu]] - apparently Chris sent a handwritten letter to the Library of Congress asking for an FBI investigation to find out who is the original creator of the electric abomination. After just 8 minutes, Chris leaves because of a headache and having to use the bathroom.

==Transcript==

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I could be a little better right now. You see...
 '''Chris:''' Aww, long day?
 '''Kacey:''' The- well... not only that, but I got an E-mail from Kim, and... she told me that you guys were talking about [[Pokemon]], which is... cool and you know, we were girl-talking and all 'cause we've been playing together... uhm... but anyway...
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah... uh... yeah... I mea- I was a- I was on a... spur of the moment thing at the time and I thought about it further. I thought you'd be more as a Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A what?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A Delibird?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... well, thing is... uhm... even before I get into that... why did you call me a Miltank?
 '''Chris:''' I thought Milt- I thought Miltanks were cute. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' It's a- it's a- Chris, it's a COW! You called me a COW! Do you- do you not know how offensive that is to women?!
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry. 
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... you might as well just call me fat or something.
 '''Chris:''' No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Besides, it- bes- its somebody just fooling around, you know... it-it was just loose talk, and I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, Chris... if somebody asked me what I would call somebody, I'd - if it's a girl - I'd make sure that I didn't include things that are like - ''cows''.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... yeah... OK. I'm sorry. Anyway, yeah, I- yeah, I apologize- i just sent an E-mail to Kim telling her...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what... what if I called you, like, a [[Snorlax]] or something? I mean, how would you feel? I mean, couldn't you at least... a Skitty or something?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Skitty didn't come to mind. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' *sigh*...
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... *short pause* anyway, yeah... Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' *sigh*... OK... I... that's the one that gives out, like... presents... right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, you're always full... you're always full of [[DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|pleasant surprises]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...OK.
 '''Chris:''' And you are cute.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, at lea- at least it's a penguin. I do like penguins.
 '''Chris:''' OK. I never thought of- I never imagined Delibird being a penguin, but yeah, I see that now.
 '''Kacey:''' He- he is a penguin. The Pokedex says so.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I guess I didn't read that part.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmm.
 '''Chris:''' OK. Well, anyway... uh... yeah aside from that... hmm... I'm not sure I'm in the mood to talk now... I got a bit of a headache right now. And... uh... yeah, I was gonna go hit the restroom, but then- then you called me.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... are you gonna take, like, an aspirin or something?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna take- I'm gonna take a... I'm gonna take a non-aspirin. We- i- it works a little better than regular aspirin, you know. My parents agree with that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, it's probably best for you to... like, you shouldn't always take aspirin.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So... what happened with you today?
 '''Chris:''' Ah... what happened with me today... uh... yeah, I don't know if Kim told you that I was E-mailed last night, but, you know, it was like this [[troll]]... uh... just claiming to have... already sent, like, sent in this claim for... register the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] of [[Sonichu]] under his name.. which s- which should not be doable anyway... uh... but anyway, eve- even copied and pasted details, like, if he was actually doing it from my [???] site.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... would you be able to prove against it? Because, if you don't have definate proof, and, I mean, just having some drawings isn't gonna do it, I mean, you'd be screwed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you did finalize the copyright a long time ago. They're gonna wonder why you waited so long, and... I mean, you're just gonna be out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok, you see- Ok. One thing is... Yeah, I did- I did regist- I did put my claim for the copyright... apparently last sep- apparently last september. And I found- I found the case number for that... I still have the account on there... on the Library of Congress website. And, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, documents are easy to forge, I mean, the same effort you took drawing in the first place, they can use it to get the coypright. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway- uh... I think I told you before that, like, you know, I was under a misunderstanding about what I sent through the snail mail... so... that's why... and then, uh... I should've gotten... I should request those papers about that time... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' What about snail mail, you sent something? Or you recieved something?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... well look, I filled out the application online, and so- should send something via snail mail, but I was not made clear on what to send in via snail mail... and I shou- I should have requested those papers back then...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did you ever recieve a certificate, or did you send it certified mail, I mean, stuff like that you have to send certified mail. If you didn't get a certificate back, then you're kinda out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, i didn't- I didn't get a certificate.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then... you can't prove it's yours.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes I can... yes I can but anyway- anyway... anyway...
 '''Kacey:''' Can't legally.
 '''Chris:''' EARLIER TODAY... earlier today... I... I wrote a handwritten letter... to the Library of Congress about like, you know... yeah... this guy should not have the rights... to have the copyright on... stop him and... I have proved that I am the original creator... I even found... hand-drawings from as early as [[2000]]-[[2001]]... i mean... I even encouraged them to do [[Jerkops|FBI]] investigations between him and me... I would even welcome them to come to my home address to investigate that. I think they would find more stuff here at my house than they would over there! And I... anyway... I sent those hand-drawings...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... that- that doesn't mean anything to them. I mean, you could be doing that to the actual copyright holder, i mean, they're not gonna waste money on an FBI investigation to do this, you know that, right? It's gonna come down to who has the better lawyer.
 '''Chris:''' *sigh*... Anyway, plus- plus I'm also, uh...[???] with a copyright lawyer here in Charlottesville... uh... 'scuse me... and my father and I going down tomorrow for a consultation... talk about the situation.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you have the money to hire him?
 '''Chris:''' *sigh*... At this point it's just a consultation...
 '''Kacey:''' They can charge you for those. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' Uh- but- I checked with him and I ask- I asked him all and he said that the consultation is free.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, but... that's where they... get you hooked in, I mean... just watch out for that, because consultations, even free ones, can turn into... not-free ones.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. All right. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's just how the system works. Som- You know, people do it all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok. Mmm. Ok, well listen, listen I gotta go get my non-aspirin and use the bathroom, so... I'll talk to you tomorrow, OK?
 '''Kacey:''' OK.
 '''Chris:''' Aight, you take care. Get some rest yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' OK, all right. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
[call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?8gfn84h4wfvearc mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 16]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 18]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 17

2011-03-06T18:27:21Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[Image:Miltank.gif|A Miltank.|thumb]]

In this short call, Chris and Kacey talk about which Pokemon Kacey would be. She's offended Chris called her a Miltank in E-mails to Kim. Chris also talks about a [[troll]] trying to copyright [[Sonichu]] - apparently Chris sent a handwritten letter to the Library of Congress asking for an FBI investigation to find out who is the original creator of the electric abomination. After just 8 minutes, Chris leaves because of a headache and having to use the bathroom.

==Transcript==

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I could be a little better right now. You see...
 '''Chris:''' Aww, long day?
 '''Kacey:''' The- well... not only that, but I got an E-mail from Kim, and... she told me that you guys were talking about [[Pokemon]], which is... cool and you know, we were girl-talking and all 'cause we've been playing together... uhm... but anyway...
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah... uh... yeah... I mea- I was a- I was on a... spur of the moment thing at the time and I thought about it further. I thought you'd be more as a Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A what?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A Delibird?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... well, thing is... uhm... even before I get into that... why did you call me a Miltank?
 '''Chris:''' I thought Milt- I thought Miltanks were cute. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' It's a- it's a- Chris, it's a COW! You called me a COW! Do you- do you not know how offensive that is to women?!
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry. 
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... you might as well just call me fat or something.
 '''Chris:''' No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Besides, it- bes- its somebody just fooling around, you know... it-it was just loose talk, and I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, Chris... if somebody asked me what I would call somebody, I'd - if it's a girl - I'd make sure that I didn't include things that are like - ''cows''.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... yeah... OK. I'm sorry. Anyway, yeah, I- yeah, I apologize- i just sent an E-mail to Kim telling her...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what... what if I called you, like, a [[Snorlax]] or something? I mean, how would you feel? I mean, couldn't you at least... a Skitty or something?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Skitty didn't come to mind. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' *sigh*...
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... *short pause* anyway, yeah... Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' *sigh*... OK... I... that's the one that gives out, like... presents... right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, you're always full... you're always full of [[DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|pleasant surprises]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...OK.
 '''Chris:''' And you are cute.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, at lea- at least it's a penguin. I do like penguins.
 '''Chris:''' OK. I never thought of- I never imagined Delibird being a penguin, but yeah, I see that now.
 '''Kacey:''' He- he is a penguin. The Pokedex says so.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I guess I didn't read that part.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmm.
 '''Chris:''' OK. Well, anyway... uh... yeah aside from that... hmm... I'm not sure I'm in the mood to talk now... I got a bit of a headache right now. And... uh... yeah, I was gonna go hit the restroom, but then- then you called me.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... are you gonna take, like, an aspirin or something?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna take- I'm gonna take a... I'm gonna take a non-aspirin. We- i- it works a little better than regular aspirin, you know. My parents agree with that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, it's probably best for you to... like, you shouldn't always take aspirin.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So... what happened with you today?
 '''Chris:''' Ah... what happened with me today... uh... yeah, I don't know if Kim told you that I was E-mailed last night, but, you know, it was like this [[troll]]... uh... just claiming to have... already sent, like, sent in this claim for... register the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] of [[Sonichu]] under his name.. which s- which should not be doable anyway... uh... but anyway, eve- even copied and pasted details, like, if he was actually doing it from my [???] site.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... would you be able to prove against it? Because, if you don't have definate proof, and, I mean, just having some drawings isn't gonna do it, I mean, you'd be screwed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you did finalize the copyright a long time ago. They're gonna wonder why you waited so long, and... I mean, you're just gonna be out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok, you see- Ok. One thing is... Yeah, I did- I did regist- I did put my claim for the copyright... apparently last sep- apparently last september. And I found- I found the case number for that... I still have the account on there... on the Library of Congress website. And, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, documents are easy to forge, I mean, the same effort you took drawing in the first place, they can use it to get the coypright. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway- uh... I think I told you before that, like, you know, I was under a misunderstanding about what I sent through the snail mail... so... that's why... and then, uh... I should've gotten... I should request those papers about that time... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' What about snail mail, you sent something? Or you recieved something?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... well look, I filled out the application online, and so- should send something via snail mail, but I was not made clear on what to send in via snail mail... and I shou- I should have requested those papers back then...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did you ever recieve a certificate, or did you send it certified mail, I mean, stuff like that you have to send certified mail. If you didn't get a certificate back, then you're kinda out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, i didn't- I didn't get a certificate.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then... you can't prove it's yours.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes I can... yes I can but anyway- anyway... anyway...
 '''Kacey:''' Can't legally.
 '''Chris:''' EARLIER TODAY... earlier today... I... I wrote a handwritten letter... to the Library of Congress about like, you know... yeah... this guy should not have the rights... to have the copyright on... stop him and... I have proved that I am the original creator... I even found... hand-drawings from as early as [[2000]]-[[2001]]... i mean... I even encouraged them to do [[Jerkops|FBI]] investigations between him and me... I would even welcome them to come to my home address to investigate that. I think they would find more stuff here at my house than they would over there! And I... anyway... I sent those hand-drawings...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... that- that doesn't mean anything to them. I mean, you could be doing that to the actual copyright holder, i mean, they're not gonna waste money on an FBI investigation to do this, you know that, right? It's gonna come down to who has the better lawyer.
 '''Chris:''' *sigh*... Anyway, plus- plus I'm also, uh...[???] with a copyright lawyer here in Charlottesville... uh... 'scuse me... and my father and I going down tomorrow for a consultation... talk about the situation.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you have the money to hire him?
 '''Chris:''' *sigh*... At this point it's just a consultation...
 '''Kacey:''' They can charge you for those. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' Uh- but- I checked with him and I ask- I asked him all and he said that the consultation is free.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, but... that's where they... get you hooked in, I mean... just watch out for that, because consultations, even free ones, can turn into... not-free ones.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. All right. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's just how the system works. Som- You know, people do it all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok. Mmm. Ok, well listen, listen I gotta go get my non-aspirin and use the bathroom, so... I'll talk to you tomorrow, OK?
 '''Kacey:''' OK.
 '''Chris:''' Aight, you take care. Get some rest yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' OK, all right. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
[call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?8gfn84h4wfvearc mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 16]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 18]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Talk:Kacey Call 17

2011-03-06T18:18:55Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

I am pretty sure this article needs the picture of the Miltank but if some fair use wiki shit makes it illegal to use the image or whatever, then take it down. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 14:24, 3 March 2011 (PST)

Needs a narrative summary, see the IRC chats for examples.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:03, 4 March 2011 (PST)

I'll work on transcribing this. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 08:46, 6 March 2011 (PST)

* Transcription complete. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 10:18, 6 March 2011 (PST)

Kacey Call 17

2011-03-06T18:18:17Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[Image:Miltank.gif|What [[Kacey]] would be as a [[Pokemon]], according to Chris|thumb]]

Just a brief overview until the entire call is transcribed.

File Name: kc091509.mp3

*[[Kacey]] got an email from Kim saying that [[Chris]] called Kacey a Miltank. Kacey is mad, so she calls him a [[Snorlax]].
*Chris suddenly has a headache.
*Chris and Kacey talk about another [[troll]] trying to [[copyright]] [[Sonichu]].
*Chris gets really angry when Kacey says that he can't legally prove that Sonichu is his own creation, since it's so easy to copy due to his simplistic style.
*Chris called the FBI about the troll trying to call Sonichu.
*Chris gets stressed out and has to use the restroom immediately. Call ends.

==Transcript==
{{transcription}}

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I could be a little better right now. You see...
 '''Chris:''' Aww, long day?
 '''Kacey:''' The- well... not only that, but I got an E-mail from Kim, and... she told me that you guys were talking about [[Pokemon]], which is... cool and you know, we were girl-talking and all 'cause we've been playing together... uhm... but anyway...
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah... uh... yeah... I mea- I was a- I was on a... spur of the moment thing at the time and I thought about it further. I thought you'd be more as a Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A what?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A Delibird?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... well, thing is... uhm... even before I get into that... why did you call me a Miltank?
 '''Chris:''' I thought Milt- I thought Miltanks were cute. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' It's a- it's a- Chris, it's a COW! You called me a COW! Do you- do you not know how offensive that is to women?!
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry. 
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... you might as well just call me fat or something.
 '''Chris:''' No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Besides, it- bes- its somebody just fooling around, you know... it-it was just loose talk, and I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, Chris... if somebody asked me what I would call somebody, I'd - if it's a girl - I'd make sure that I didn't include things that are like - ''cows''.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... yeah... OK. I'm sorry. Anyway, yeah, I- yeah, I apologize- i just sent an E-mail to Kim telling her...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what... what if I called you, like, a [[Snorlax]] or something? I mean, how would you feel? I mean, couldn't you at least... a Skitty or something?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Skitty didn't come to mind. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' *sigh*...
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... *short pause* anyway, yeah... Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' *sigh*... OK... I... that's the one that gives out, like... presents... right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, you're always full... you're always full of [[DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|pleasant surprises]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...OK.
 '''Chris:''' And you are cute.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, at lea- at least it's a penguin. I do like penguins.
 '''Chris:''' OK. I never thought of- I never imagined Delibird being a penguin, but yeah, I see that now.
 '''Kacey:''' He- he is a penguin. The Pokedex says so.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I guess I didn't read that part.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmm.
 '''Chris:''' OK. Well, anyway... uh... yeah aside from that... hmm... I'm not sure I'm in the mood to talk now... I got a bit of a headache right now. And... uh... yeah, I was gonna go hit the restroom, but then- then you called me.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... are you gonna take, like, an aspirin or something?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna take- I'm gonna take a... I'm gonna take a non-aspirin. We- i- it works a little better than regular aspirin, you know. My parents agree with that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, it's probably best for you to... like, you shouldn't always take aspirin.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So... what happened with you today?
 '''Chris:''' Ah... what happened with me today... uh... yeah, I don't know if Kim told you that I was E-mailed last night, but, you know, it was like this [[troll]]... uh... just claiming to have... already sent, like, sent in this claim for... register the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] of [[Sonichu]] under his name.. which s- which should not be doable anyway... uh... but anyway, eve- even copied and pasted details, like, if he was actually doing it from my [???] site.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... would you be able to prove against it? Because, if you don't have definate proof, and, I mean, just having some drawings isn't gonna do it, I mean, you'd be screwed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you did finalize the copyright a long time ago. They're gonna wonder why you waited so long, and... I mean, you're just gonna be out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok, you see- Ok. One thing is... Yeah, I did- I did regist- I did put my claim for the copyright... apparently last sep- apparently last september. And I found- I found the case number for that... I still have the account on there... on the Library of Congress website. And, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, documents are easy to forge, I mean, the same effort you took drawing in the first place, they can use it to get the coypright. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway- uh... I think I told you before that, like, you know, I was under a misunderstanding about what I sent through the snail mail... so... that's why... and then, uh... I should've gotten... I should request those papers about that time... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' What about snail mail, you sent something? Or you recieved something?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... well look, I filled out the application online, and so- should send something via snail mail, but I was not made clear on what to send in via snail mail... and I shou- I should have requested those papers back then...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did you ever recieve a certificate, or did you send it certified mail, I mean, stuff like that you have to send certified mail. If you didn't get a certificate back, then you're kinda out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, i didn't- I didn't get a certificate.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then... you can't prove it's yours.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes I can... yes I can but anyway- anyway... anyway...
 '''Kacey:''' Can't legally.
 '''Chris:''' EARLIER TODAY... earlier today... I... I wrote a handwritten letter... to the Library of Congress about like, you know... yeah... this guy should not have the rights... to have the copyright on... stop him and... I have proved that I am the original creator... I even found... hand-drawings from as early as [[2000]]-[[2001]]... i mean... I even encouraged them to do [[Jerkops|FBI]] investigations between him and me... I would even welcome them to come to my home address to investigate that. I think they would find more stuff here at my house than they would over there! And I... anyway... I sent those hand-drawings...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... that- that doesn't mean anything to them. I mean, you could be doing that to the actual copyright holder, i mean, they're not gonna waste money on an FBI investigation to do this, you know that, right? It's gonna come down to who has the better lawyer.
 '''Chris:''' *sigh*... Anyway, plus- plus I'm also, uh...[???] with a copyright lawyer here in Charlottesville... uh... 'scuse me... and my father and I going down tomorrow for a consultation... talk about the situation.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you have the money to hire him?
 '''Chris:''' *sigh*... At this point it's just a consultation...
 '''Kacey:''' They can charge you for those. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' Uh- but- I checked with him and I ask- I asked him all and he said that the consultation is free.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, but... that's where they... get you hooked in, I mean... just watch out for that, because consultations, even free ones, can turn into... not-free ones.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. All right. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's just how the system works. Som- You know, people do it all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok. Mmm. Ok, well listen, listen I gotta go get my non-aspirin and use the bathroom, so... I'll talk to you tomorrow, OK?
 '''Kacey:''' OK.
 '''Chris:''' Aight, you take care. Get some rest yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' OK, all right. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
[call ends]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?8gfn84h4wfvearc mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=Kacey Phone Calls|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 16]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 18]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 17

2011-03-06T17:26:55Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

Talk:Kacey Call 17

2011-03-06T16:46:49Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

100 2357.MOV

2011-02-18T23:50:11Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

'''100 2357.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 22 [[November 2010]]. For the sixth time, Chris announces he is to [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|leave the Internet]]. Chris also removed all his other [[YouTube]] videos around the time this one was uploaded. His [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] have still not been replaced or repaired properly.

Chris's speech implied that he would spend time outside of his [[14 Branchland Court|humble abode]] and attempt to socialize with others. Surprisingly, he has instead spent the majority of his time playing [[PS3]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2357.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eQqO3kFaV2w}}
| stardate = 22 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2278]]
| next = [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]]
}}

===Transcript===

Attention! Read my lips!

Online socialization... is a [[Muscle_bra|bust]]. [[Chris_and_English|Socialize in real life is]] the tops.

And also: NO MORE VIDEOS!

Fuck you most ''[displays middle finger]'' and fuck you ''[shows other middle finger]'', social sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]]!

[''[[Pedo-glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|whips off his glasses and shakes out his hair]]'']

I'm out. ''[turns off the camera]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100_2278]]|nextlink=[[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]]}}

{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, November 2010| 2010-11-22]]

Chris and religion

2011-02-17T16:39:43Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|KlsCT1AUmZw}}</center>

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1 Cor 13:11<ref>[http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm]</ref>, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[sex]], [[Anger|hatred]], [[Race|intolerance]], [[Nudes|pornography]] and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[ego]]tism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle paul rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of St. Paul to Chris's "interpretation" of the Bible]]
[[Image:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|right|Jesus's reaction to Chris's antics]]

{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, <ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all Seven Deadly Sins===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|His Holiness's reaction to Chris's commission of all Seven Deadly Sins.]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of [[sex toys]] and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the [[Internet]], Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household [[chores]] is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris and anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

# '''"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
# '''"Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
# '''"Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
# '''"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
# '''"Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father.
# '''"Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
# '''"Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
# '''"Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
# '''"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
# '''"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos]]exuality is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]! [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2020:6&version=NIV Leviticus 20:6]''' "I will set my face against the person who turns to Mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people." Chris has claimed to hear the voices of [[Aunt Corrina]], his [[Cherokian Clan|other]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestors]], and GodJesus at the former's funeral, all giving approval to his [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[china]].<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

However, when Christianity first became a religion, Saint Paul came up with the new covenant, so all the bits about circumcision, sacrificing goats, eating a kosher diet, and other Levitical laws no longer apply. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and still follows the Levitical laws isn't really a Christian so much as an ultra-orthodox Jew, or a [[Wikipedia:Seventh-day Adventist Church|Seventh-day Adventist]]. There are a few ultra-fundie Christians who follow some of the old Leviticus laws due to a passage on Matthew, but all of this is irrelevant in the first place since Chris neither reads the Bible or seriously cares about Christianity.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue 7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the accumilitive memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he describes himself as a "Lamb of God." Jesus Christ is commonly referred to as this by many Christians.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith.
===Other Christian sects===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" (sic) as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna]] that Mormons typically don't date outside their religion.

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].
===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Other than not being Christian, he probably hates Muslims because he's enough of a dumbass to likely believe all Muslims are terrorists because of 9/11, [[Twin Falling Towers|which he mocked]].

===Atheism===
[[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List_of_OkCupid_Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

Sex toys

2011-02-17T14:08:23Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* List of known sex toys */

{{Honest}}

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Chris]] owns several '''sex toys''', including a vibrator and anal beads.

Although he bought his first toys at a Spencer's Gifts storefront, his provider of choice is [[Wikipedia:Adam & Eve (business)|AdamEve.com]]. Chris claimed to the [[Sonichu Girls|TRUE and LOYAL Sonichu fanbase]] that most of the toys he owns were sent by the online sex shop as gifts. However, considering the fact that AdamEve.com usually allows customers to choose gifts, and if they are indeed random gifts, what they are depends on the [[homos|content of the purchase]] (not to mention Chris never bothering to dispose of or even complain about them).

Chris has also visited [[Charlottesville]] sex shop [[IRC (26 November 2008)|Ultimate Bliss]], where he bought a chocolate-flavored condom in hopes of using it for his first time having sex with [[PandaHalo]]. In the aftermath of her untimely death in the Australian brushfires, it's not known what became of the condom, or whether Chris has found a way to get himself banned from the store as he has so many other local retailers.

When asked about his visit to the brick and mortar sex store in the [[Mailbag|CWCipedia Mailbag]], Chris responded with a short answer before placing the email in the rejected bin:

{{Quote|I have been there; I recommend WOMAN-Shaped Blow-Up Dolls, the masturbation tubes with the Vaginal-Designed Openings, and ALL their Videos that feature Woman-and-Man or Woman-and-Woman or one-man-and-multiple-women sexual acts. | Chris, [[Rejected Mailbag|recommending STRAIGHT sex toys for STRAIGHT men]]}}

==List of known sex toys==
[[Image:VelvetTouchMasturbator.jpg|thumb|right|"...a velvety smooth squeeze that your [[duck|erection]] will crave again and again!"]]
* Penis pump
* Vibrator ([[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|possibly KIA]])
* Four sex dolls including [[Officer Nasty]], [[Kimmi]], a [http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/love-dolls/sp-booty-licious-love-doll-4085.aspx Booty Licious Love Doll] and a not-yet-seen [http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/love-dolls/sp-yumi-asian-anime-doll-15164.aspx Yumi Asian Anime Doll]. His order records show that he has purchased at least three Officer Nasty dolls, suggesting that they don't survive too long underneath his considerable girth. He stated in a chat with [[Vanessa]] that "After a while of putting [[Obesity|my weight]] carefully on them in the artificial intercourse, they each would have a hole punctured on the inside from my weight, which was irrepairable." In a chat with [[Jackie]], he said the Booty Licious doll suffered the same fate, and that his dolls lasted "at most 27 intercourses".<ref>[[Jackie Chat 1]]</ref>
* Anal beads – Chris used these once. Describing the experience during a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN chat]], he explained that they became "covered in poo," and he threw them away.
* Dildo – Gift that went along with a purchase. Chris put a condom on it and stuck it up his ass.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
* Three different penis rings (Pearl Beaded Prolong Ring, Silicone Superstud Power Ring, and Ringo's Cock Ring)
* Velvet Touch Masturbator and Pink Passion Masturbator
* A&E Hot Action Lotion

==Gallery of sex toy purchases==

<center><gallery>
Image:Adameve 06-09-16.PNG|
Image:Adameve 06-9-17.PNG|
Image:Adameve 07-03-10.PNG|
Image:Adameve 07-07-07.PNG|
Image:Adameve 07-12-26.PNG|Where Chris buys Kimmi.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Comeuppance]]
*[[Kimmi]]
*[[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases]]
*[[Officer Nasty]]
*[[Vibrator destruction video]]
*[[Plush Breasts]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://loltheinterwebs.googlepages.com/chriswishlist.pdf Chris's wishlist on AdamEve.com]
*[http://megaupload.com/?d=18NA6ERG Chris fucking a sex doll]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

2010

2010-12-04T17:27:27Z

EtonpilfAnetah: He's failed to quit 5 times. This is his 6th attempt.

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2010, Chris turned 28.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]''.]]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways.]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|a series of phone calls]] from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding the [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of Simonla, Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that would inadvertendly reveal the identity of [[The Wallflower]].]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered.]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses.]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]].]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made [[6_June_2010|a video addressing these events]], and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his [[Love Quest]] offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]].]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''29 August''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man.]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, [[Matthew_Noble_call|a phone call to Bob Chandler]] was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|concerning his upcoming high school reunion]], and the other where Chris [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3]], claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, Chris would [[The_MovingFoward_videos|destroy his PS3]], and there was much rejoicing.
==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''16 September''', Chris dressed as a [[niggo]].]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the [[Ps3|life upgrade]]. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. [[Jackie]] officially returned as a new [[sweetheart]] in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including [[Wallflower_E-mails|correspondence between Chris and The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On '''4 October''', Chris [[cosplay]]s as [[McDonalds|the Grimace.]]]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September. He made [[100_2261.MOV|another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder]] and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[cosplay|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made [[Pregnant_Act|two scary and confusing videos]] in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], [[Breast_Cancer_Awareness|used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad]], and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[room]] or even the [[house]] altogether, featuring Chris [[DayOut|driving his mom's car]] and even [[A_Hike|going for a "hike"]]. The conflict with Lars also continued, however on seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable of sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris, including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month so far (albeit quality of them varied a lot). In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|left|On '''6 November''', a video of Chris struggling to do pull-ups was leaked.]]

November turned out to be a slow month. [[Lars_call|Chris had a call with Lars]] on 6 November. A [[100_2278|video of him failing to do pull-ups]] was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he [[100_2357.MOV|quit the Internet for the 6th time]] on 22 November and deleting most of his other [[YouTube]] videos in the progress.

==December==
{{main|December 2010}}

December began under the shadow of Chris's 6th attempt to leave the internet. Early in the month, the final batch of e-mails between Chris and Jackie were released.

Chris [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|still won't be getting a girlfriend for Christmas]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Template:DYK

2010-12-03T19:35:52Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|10=
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany_Nicole_Gowen|Tiffany Gowen]] at their High School Reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[Navy|good drinks]] and [[Sex_toys|just necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Lies|filthy liar]]?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the [[BILLY MAYS|mayor]] of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
|11=
*...that this website, the CWCKi, is a [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself?]]
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wants you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really cannot [[Fridays After Five|dance]]?
|12=
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito Emails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes Iseli Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5]] is based off a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_core children's game]?
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
|13=
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lovers dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[Stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad is not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|said]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that each American taxpayer pays roughly 9.02597917x10-6 [[monthly tugboat|dollars]] each month to Chris?
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]]?
|14=
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his fat contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the TCG gamer|Level Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is ok]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had a sweet green afro?
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
|15=
*...that Chris prefers [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] prefers Burger King?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]''?
*...that [[Ryan Cash]] is an hero?
*...that all the [[Trolls|Sonichu characters]] have [[CWCipedia#The Twitter feed|Twitter]] accounts?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|16=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best weed in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for Christmas [[2004]], Chris asked santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Chrismas Day 2004, Chris became depressed, because [[fail|he didn't get one]]?
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|charged in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that [[Wild Sonichu]] is a noted Sit 'n Spin player?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
*...that Chris [[Chris_and_rape#Chris as a rapist|would probably rape a woman]] if he wasn't so [[obesity|fat]] and lazy?
|17=
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that Chris is stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
|18=
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris expects his fans to know what happens in his dreams?
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of God’s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], gender, socio-economic situation, or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
|19=
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...and that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...and he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free sex with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
|20=
*...that Chris hasn't changed the oil in his [[Son-Chu|car]] since 2009?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris supposedly weighs [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believes [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]], and the [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that those with [[Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)|Aspergers]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent?]]
}}

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try and make sure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*...that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

2010

2010-12-03T17:52:18Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* June */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2010, Chris turned 28.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]''.]]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways.]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|a series of phone calls]] from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding the [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of Simonla, Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that would inadvertendly reveal the identity of [[The Wallflower]].]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered.]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses.]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]].]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made [[6_June_2010|a video addressing these events]], and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his [[Love Quest]] offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]].]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''29 August''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man.]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, [[Matthew_Noble_call|a phone call to Bob Chandler]] was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|concerning his upcoming high school reunion]], and the other where Chris [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3]], claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, Chris would [[The_MovingFoward_videos|destroy his PS3]], and there was much rejoicing.
==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''16 September''', Chris dressed as a [[niggo]].]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the [[Ps3|life upgrade]]. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. [[Jackie]] officially returned as a new [[sweetheart]] in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including [[Wallflower_E-mails|correspondence between Chris and The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On '''4 October''', Chris [[cosplay]]s as [[McDonalds|the Grimace.]]]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September. He made [[100_2261.MOV|another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder]] and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[cosplay|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made [[Pregnant_Act|two scary and confusing videos]] in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], [[Breast_Cancer_Awareness|used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad]], and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[room]] or even the [[house]] altogether, featuring Chris [[DayOut|driving his mom's car]] and even [[A_Hike|going for a "hike"]]. The conflict with Lars also continued, however on seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable of sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris, including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month so far (albeit quality of them varied a lot). In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|left|On '''6 November''', a video of Chris struggling to do pull-ups was leaked.]]

November turned out to be a slow month. [[Lars_call|Chris had a call with Lars]] on 6 November. A [[100_2278|video of him failing to do pull-ups]] was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he [[100_2357.MOV|quit the Internet for the 5th time]] on 22 November and deleting most of his other [[YouTube]] videos in the progress.

==December==
{{main|December 2010}}

December began under the shadow of Chris's 5th attempt to leave the internet. Early in the month, the final batch of e-mails between Chris and Jackie were released.

Chris [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|still won't be getting a girlfriend for Christmas]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2010

2010-12-03T17:35:02Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* December */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2010, Chris turned 28.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]''.]]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways.]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|a series of phone calls]] from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding the [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of Simonla, Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that would inadvertendly reveal the identity of [[The Wallflower]].]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered.]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses.]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]].]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made a video addressing these events, and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his Love Quest offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]].]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''29 August''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man.]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, [[Matthew_Noble_call|a phone call to Bob Chandler]] was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|concerning his upcoming high school reunion]], and the other where Chris [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3]], claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, Chris would [[The_MovingFoward_videos|destroy his PS3]], and there was much rejoicing.
==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''16 September''', Chris dressed as a [[niggo]].]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the [[Ps3|life upgrade]]. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. [[Jackie]] officially returned as a new [[sweetheart]] in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including [[Wallflower_E-mails|correspondence between Chris and The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On '''4 October''', Chris [[cosplay]]s as [[McDonalds|the Grimace.]]]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September. He made [[100_2261.MOV|another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder]] and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[cosplay|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made [[Pregnant_Act|two scary and confusing videos]] in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], [[Breast_Cancer_Awareness|used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad]], and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[room]] or even the [[house]] altogether, featuring Chris [[DayOut|driving his mom's car]] and even [[A_Hike|going for a "hike"]]. The conflict with Lars also continued, however on seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable of sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris, including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month so far (albeit quality of them varied a lot). In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|left|On '''6 November''', a video of Chris struggling to do pull-ups was leaked.]]

November turned out to be a slow month. [[Lars_call|Chris had a call with Lars]] on 6 November. A [[100_2278|video of him failing to do pull-ups]] was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he [[100_2357.MOV|quit the Internet for the 6th time]] on 22 November and deleting most of his other [[YouTube]] videos in the progress.

==December==
{{main|December 2010}}

December began under the shadow of Chris's 6th attempt to leave the internet. Early in the month, the final batch of e-mails between Chris and Jackie were released.

Chris [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|still won't be getting a girlfriend for Christmas]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

December 2010

2010-12-03T11:39:46Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

'''December 2010''' opens in the shadow of Chris's resignation from the [[Internet]] on 22 November.

He [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|still won't be getting a girlfriend]] for [[Christmas]].
==Events==
*2 December - The [[Jackie_E-mails_21|final]] [[Jackie_E-mails_22|batch]] of [[Jackie_E-mails_23|e-mails]] between Chris and [[Jackie]] are leaked.
{{Timeline}}

Template:DYK

2010-12-02T22:19:31Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|10=
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany_Nicole_Gowen|Tiffany Gowen]] at their High School Reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[Navy|good drinks]] and [[Sex_toys|just necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Lies|filthy liar]]?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the [[BILLY MAYS|mayor]] of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
|11=
*...that this website, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF TRUTH?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself?]]
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wants you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really cannot [[Fridays After Five|dance]]?
|12=
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito Emails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes Iseli Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5]] is based off a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_core children's game]?
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
|13=
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lovers dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[Stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad is not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|said]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that each American taxpayer pays roughly 9.02597917x10-6 [[monthly tugboat|dollars]] each month to Chris?
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]]?
|14=
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his fat contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the TCG gamer|Level Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is ok]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had a sweet green afro?
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
|15=
*...that Chris prefers [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] prefers Burger King?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]''?
*...that [[Ryan Cash]] is an hero?
*...that all the [[Trolls|Sonichu characters]] have [[CWCipedia#The Twitter feed|Twitter]] accounts?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|16=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best weed in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for Christmas [[2004]], Chris asked santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Chrismas Day 2004, Chris became depressed, because [[fail|he didn't get one]]?
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|charged in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that [[Wild Sonichu]] is a noted Sit 'n Spin player?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
*...that Chris [[Chris_and_rape#Chris as a rapist|would probably rape a woman]] if he wasn't so [[obesity|fat]] and lazy?
|17=
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] is [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that Chris is stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July and is a true American patriot?
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
|18=
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris expects his fans to know what happens in his dreams?
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of God’s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], gender, socio-economic situation, or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
|19=
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...and that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...and he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free sex with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
|20=
*...that Chris will never, ever get laid?
*...that Chris hasn't changed the oil in his car [[Son-Chu]] since 2009?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris supposedly weighs [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believes [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]], and the [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that Chris hates [[Harry Potter]] almost as much as he hates the Hex Box?
*...that you're the only one who thinks JULAYYYYY is still funny?
*...that you will never, ever get laid?
}}

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try and make sure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*...that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

2010

2010-12-02T20:07:22Z

EtonpilfAnetah: derp

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2010, Chris turned 28.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]''.]]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways.]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|a series of phone calls]] from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding the [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of Simonla, Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that would inadvertendly reveal the identity of [[The Wallflower]].]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered.]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses.]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]].]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made a video addressing these events, and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his Love Quest offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]].]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''29 August''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man.]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, [[Matthew_Noble_call|a phone call to Bob Chandler]] was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|concerning his upcoming high school reunion]], and the other where Chris [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3]], claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, Chris would [[The_MovingFoward_videos|destroy his PS3]], and there was much rejoicing.
==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''16 September''', Chris dressed as a [[niggo]].]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the [[Ps3|life upgrade]]. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. [[Jackie]] officially returned as a new [[sweetheart]] in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including [[Wallflower_E-mails|correspondence between Chris and The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On '''4 October''', Chris [[cosplay]]s as [[McDonalds|the Grimace.]]]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September. He made [[100_2261.MOV|another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder]] and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[cosplay|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made [[Pregnant_Act|two scary and confusing videos]] in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], [[Breast_Cancer_Awareness|used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad]], and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[room]] or even the [[house]] altogether, featuring Chris [[DayOut|driving his mom's car]] and even [[A_Hike|going for a "hike"]]. The conflict with Lars also continued, however on seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable of sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris, including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month so far (albeit quality of them varied a lot). In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|left|On '''6 November''', a video of Chris struggling to do pull-ups was leaked.]]

November turned out to be a slow month. [[Lars_call|Chris had a call with Lars]] on November 6. A [[100_2278|video of him failing to do pull-ups]] was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he [[100_2357.MOV|quit the internet for the 6th time]] on November 22, deleting most of his other YouTube videos in the progress.

==December==
Chris [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|won't be getting a girlfriend]] for [[Christmas]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2010

2010-12-02T20:05:38Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2010, Chris turned 28.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]''.]]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways.]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|a series of phone calls]] from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding the [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of Simonla, Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that would inadvertendly reveal the identity of [[The Wallflower]].]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered.]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses.]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]].]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made a video addressing these events, and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his Love Quest offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]].]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''29 August''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man.]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, [[Matthew_Noble_call|a phone call to Bob Chandler]] was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|concerning his upcoming high school reunion]], and the other where Chris [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3]], claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, Chris would [[The_MovingFoward_videos|destroy his PS3]], and there was much rejoicing.
==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''16 September''', Chris dressed as a [[niggo]].]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the [[Ps3|life upgrade]]. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. [[Jackie]] officially returned as a new [[sweetheart]] in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including [[Wallflower_E-mails|correspondence between Chris and The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On '''4 October''', Chris [[cosplay]]s as [[McDonalds|the Grimace.]]]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September. He made [[100_2261.MOV|another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder]] and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[cosplay|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made [[Pregnant_Act|two scary and confusing videos]] in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], [[Breast_Cancer_Awareness|used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad]], and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[room]] or even the [[house]] altogether, featuring Chris [[DayOut|driving his mom's car]] and even [[A_Hike|going for a "hike"]]. The conflict with Lars also continued, however on seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable of sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris, including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month so far (albeit quality of them varied a lot). In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|left|On '''6 November''', a video of Chris struggling to do pull-ups was leaked.

November turned out to be a slow month. [[Lars_call|Chris had a call with Lars]] on November 6. A [[100_2278|video of him failing to do pull-ups]] was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he [[100_2357.MOV|quit the internet for the 6th time]] on November 22, deleting most of his other YouTube videos in the progress.

==December==
Chris [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|won't be getting a girlfriend]] for [[Christmas]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Lovely Weather

2010-12-02T14:47:25Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* Overview */

[[Image:Lovelymotherfuckingweather.jpg|thumb|left|Note the broad shoulders, the lack of hips and how she's as tall as Chris...]]
[[Image:LovelyWeatherIdentity.jpg|thumb|OMFG, Lovely Weather is CHRIS CROCKER]]

{{Quote|
<poem>"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you,
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo hoo,"
Come on, it's '''lovely weather'''
'''For a sleigh ride together with''' you."</poem>
|Sleigh Ride<ref>[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/christmas_songs_lyrics_10575/other_lyrics_33314/sleigh_ride_lyrics_360899.html Sleigh Ride Lyrics]</ref>}}

'''Lovely Weather''' is [[Chris]]'s future wife, whom Chris traveled through the [[Time Void]] to [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|rape]], ''[[Wikipedia:Revenge of the Nerds|Revenge of the Nerds]]''-style. Although many of Chris's real-life [[sweethearts]] have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is as yet an entirely fictional creation, making Chris all the more pathetic.

Chris [[Mailbag 50#And in closing...|likes to sing]] "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks [[Random-access humor|this is clever]] because "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name! Now it is. (Note that this use of repetition is Chris's retardation at work and should not be confused for a [[wikipedia:Turnaround (music)|legitimate musical element]].) For the GodJesusless heathens among us who have never heard Christmas music before, the song is "[[Wikipedia:Sleigh Ride|Sleigh Ride]]," a 1948 Christmas song.<ref>[[Wikipedia: Sleigh Ride]]</ref>

==Overview==
[[Image:LovelyWeatherBizarro.jpg|thumb|150px|A sweetheart of the OPPOSITE GENDER.]]

Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form, where she looks like a [[Silvana|man in drag]]. Since Lovely Weather is a relatively new character in the [[Sonichu]] comic with a first appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], we can expect more [[Giant Penis Comic|"shenanigans"]] involving her in the future.

She stands as a bold statement of Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she has enormous jugs, wears a thong, enjoys very casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. In other words, his perfect woman appears to be a whore who's almost as retarded as he is.

Some speculate that her masculine proportions are a reference to Chris's desire for a sweetheart merely of the opposite ''gender''. ("Gender" is a psychological phenomenon, which leaves the field wide open for [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?|MTF transsexuals]] and [[Silvana|intersexed individuals identifying as women]].) As such, she could very well be a transwoman. However, a far more likely explanation is that she looks like a dude because [[Chris and art|Chris simply can't draw.]]

Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by 2015. Considering the way things are going, it's doubtful he'll get married, or even [[Hanky panky|laid]], by then. We all know that the man is going to die a bachelor and a [[virgin with rage]].

In his [[CWCipedia]] page devoted to her, Chris insists that Lovely is not a representation of [[The Wallflower]] in any way. Given his [[Lies|past record of honesty]] and his general inability to come up with any original characters, the claim is doubtful at best.

==Chris and time travel==
[[Image:CWCtothefuture.jpg|260px|thumb|left|What he didn't mention is that he went back to 1955 and made out with his [[Barbara|mother]]]]

Chris is a hormone-addled goofball, so it's not likely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. He simply sees the meeting with Lovely as a chance for his fictional avatar to get his rocks off. The implications that he has ignored are significant.

For instance, the comic-book Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to decisions or result in events that will change the course of his life that produced that outcome. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to the belief that Chris's marriage with Lovely was foreordained, and his time-travel jaunt was already one piece of the puzzle that lead to it.)

Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.

There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright [[rape]], then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.

Listen closely, and you can hear [[Wikipedia:H. G. Wells|H. G. Wells]] and [[Wikipedia:William Hartnell|William Hartnell]] spinning in their graves.
{{clear}}

==Rape?==

Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else.

See: [[Chris_and_rape#Lovely_Rape.3F|Chris and Rape]].

==Meg Griffin affair==

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only pages after traveling to the future and semi-raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with [[Wikipedia:Meg Griffin|Meg Griffin]] of ''[[Family Guy]]'' fame. Chris asks her if [[Seth MacFarlane]] has [[Women's rights|permitted]] her to turn 18 yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_40 Chris and Meg]</ref> with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). [[Blanca|Once]] [[PandaHalo|again]], Chris cheats on his significant others, even completely fictional ones.

She later reveals herself to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.
{{Clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[List of Chris's sweethearts]]
*[[Chris and Sex]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]]
*[[Chloe]]

{{Sweethearts}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Weather, Lovely}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]][[Category:Sweethearts]][[Category:Characters]]

War Paint Video

2010-12-02T14:40:45Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* See also */

[[Image:CryingIndian.jpg|thumb|left|A Cherokee's reaction after watching this video.]]
[[Image:Megatron pistol.jpg|thumb|A traditional [[Megatron pistol|weapon]] of the [[Cherokian Clan]]]]

The '''War Paint Video''' (officially titled '''10142009''', not be confused with [[10142009|another video with same title and posted the same day]]) is a video in which [[Chris]] delivers some sort of poem to the [[trolls]] while wearing "Indian" face paint. He then proclaims his proud [[Cherokee]] heritage while at the same time showing a complete lack of knowledge about anything to do with Native American culture by repeating tired old Native American stereotypes.

Also, if one looks close enough, the outline of Chris's [[Sports bra photo series|sports bra]] is visible through his shirt. There is also a set of [[Plush Breasts]] in the lower left corner of the frame (they are more easily seen in the later [[Brutal Legend]] video).

{{Clear}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = War Paint Video
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6YnwSa0o990}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{WhiteTShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
| next = [[15 October 2009]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chants]'' [[Chris and English|Calling all trolls! Calling all trolls!]] You are at-We are at war! This is war! ''[Normally]'' I will not stand idly by while you [[Chris and English|take heed]] and mock and-curse my friends and my family. For you have dishonored me, and I will not stand for it! As I stand upon my native Cherokee heritage. I will-I will hunt you down you damn dirty trolls! This is war!

'''''AIYIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI-YI!!'''''

''[Produces the [[Megatron pistol]] seen in [[CWC is Angry]]]''

[[Chris and English|Put down your wares and bring yourselves unto me. I will hun-Or I will hunt you down and really smite thee! You have been warned with the Cherokee ancestry.]]

''[Pause]''

[[Wikipedia:How (greeting)|How!]]

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Clan]]
*[[ECV 00001]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYJUiQKuP2Q 007 - Autistic Bond Intro]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiiMeui27Qg How Could You, Chris?]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|nextlink=[[15 October 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

2010

2010-12-02T14:22:41Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* October */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2010, Chris turned 28.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]'']]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|a series of phone calls]] from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of [[Simonla]], Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that inadvertently reveals the identity of [[The Wallflower]]]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]]]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made a video addressing these events, and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his Love Quest offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]]]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''29 August''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, a phonecall to Bob Chandler was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one concerning his upcoming high school reunion, and the other where Chris concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3, claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, he destroyed his [[PS3]], and to put it mildly, there was much rejoice.

==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''16 September''', Chris dressed as a [[niggo]]]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the life upgrade. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. Jackie officially returned as a new sweetheart in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including the correspondence between Chris and his recent alleged sweetheart, [[The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On '''4 October''', Chris [[cosplay]]s as [[McDonalds|the Grimace]]]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September. He made [[100_2261.MOV|another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder]] and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[cosplay|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made [[Pregnant_Act|two scary and confusing videos]] in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], [[Breast_Cancer_Awareness|used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad]], and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[room]] or even the [[house]] altogether, featuring Chris [[DayOut|driving his mom's car]] and even [[A_Hike|going for a "hike"]]. The conflict with Lars also continued, however on seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable of sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris, including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month so far (albeit quality of them varied a lot). In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

November turned out to be a slow month. [[Lars_call|Chris had a call with Lars]] on November 6. A [[100_2278|video of him failing to do pull-ups]] was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he [[100_2357.MOV|quit the internet for the 6th time]] on November 22, deleting most of his other YouTube videos in the progress.

==December==
Chris [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|still won't be getting a girlfriend]] for [[Christmas]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2010

2010-12-01T09:47:51Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* November */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2010, Chris turned 28.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]'']]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|a series of phone calls]] from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of [[Simonla]], Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that inadvertently reveals the identity of [[The Wallflower]]]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]]]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made a video addressing these events, and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his Love Quest offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]]]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''29 August''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, a phonecall to Bob Chandler was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one concerning his upcoming high school reunion, and the other where Chris concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3, claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, he destroyed his [[PS3]], and to put it mildly, there was much rejoice.

==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''16 September''', Chris dressed as a [[niggo]]]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the life upgrade. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. Jackie officially returned as a new sweetheart in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including the correspondence between Chris and his recent alleged sweetheart, [[The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On '''4 October''', Chris [[cosplay]]s as [[McDonalds|the Grimace]]]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September. He made another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[cosplay|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made two scary and confusing videos in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad, and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[room]] or even the [[house]] altogether, featuring Chris driving his mom's [[Son-Chu|car]] or walking(!). The conflict with Lars also continued, however on seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable of sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris, including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month so far (albeit quality of them varied a lot). In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

November turned out to be a slow month. [[Lars_call|Chris had a call with Lars]] on November 6. A [[100_2278|video of him failing to do pull-ups]] was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he [[100_2357.MOV|quit the internet for the 6th time]] on November 22, deleting most of his other YouTube videos in the progress.

==December==
Chris [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|still won't be getting a girlfriend]] for [[Christmas]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Carlos Chantor

2010-11-29T22:24:23Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

{{quote|Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of '''"Carlos Chantor"''''(DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias).|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 6]].}}

[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|"Experienced for Her Pleasure."]]

'''Carlos Chantor''' was Chris's alias during his short-lived career as a male escort.

Chris came up with the alias after his first break up with his sweetheart [[Jackie]]. He tried joining with [[Charlottesville]]'s "Naughty and Nice" escort services, but after being told that there was no market for [[duck|bent]], [[autism|autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgins with rage]], he made a profile (now deleted) at '''Escorts.com''', apparently unaware that most male prostitutes belong to a rather [[Gay|rough trade]]. Interestingly, on the Escort.com profile Chris checked that he was comfortable with every fetish available (except the ones he found too [[homosexual]]). After a [[Prank calls#Carlos Chantor Call|certain prank call inquired about watersports]] however, he quickly reverted his decision and removed watersports as a fetish. He also distributed cards promoting himself as an escort around Charlottesville. This shows once again that Chris does not care about sex as a act between two lovers but a way to lose his virginity, as well as get a quick buck.

For some reason, no one has called Chris up.

== Escorts.com profile ==

=== About Me ===

[[Virgin|Experienced]] for Her Pleasure.

Hey, Ladies. I am a cool dude to hang with, and I can make you [[CWC's Message for Ivy|feel good emotionally]] and [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|show you a fun time]]. I enjoy a lot of things; [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|I'll let you know when it's going too far]]. Give me [[Prank calls|a call]] to hook up (434 area code only).

=== My Details ===
[[File:CarlosChantor.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The explicit personal details of notorious womaniser, Carlos Chantor.]]
*'''Sex''': Male
*'''Date of Birth''': 2/24/[[1982]] (age 28)
*'''Orientation''': [[Homos|Straight]] Male
*'''Ethnicity''': [[Chris and race|Caucasian]]
*'''Body Type:''' [[Obesity|Average (height/weight proportional)]]
*'''Height''': 5 feet 10 inches (178 cm)
*'''Hair Color''': [[Hair|Brown]]
*'''Eye Color''': [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
*'''Smoking''': [[Tobacky|Do Not Smoke]]
*'''Drinking''': [[Alcohol|Occasionally]]
*'''Drug Use''': Never use them
*'''Language Spoken''': [[Chris and English|English]]
*'''Secondary Language''': [[Spanish]]
[[File:Randy-trailer-park-boys.jpg|right|thumb|He's not the only one selling sex for cheeseburgers.]]
===My Location===

*'''Home''': [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]

===My Availability===

*'''Available as a(n)''': [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Accommodating Male]], [[Patti|Master]]/[[Julie Reveals Herself|Slave]], [[Butt garments|Model]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Masseuse]], [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_Undressing|Stripper]]/[[WelcometoBollywood|Dancer]], [[Barbara|Escort]]
*'''Available For''': Outcall, [[14 Branchland Court|Incall]]
*'''Management''': Independent

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Websites]]

CWC-isms

2010-11-12T17:50:54Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

<center>{{Honest}}</center>
One of Chris's most notorious features is his strange vocabulary. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to adult stuff by its name, Chris often has to resort to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of things a man his age would already be familiar with. While some of them are understandable—after all, even a decrepit elder would probably feel uncomfortable while talking about his [[Butt garments|diapers]]—others, such as "[[tobacky]]" instead of "tobacco", are capable of turning what would otherwise be a normal sentence into something only a retarded manchild like Chris would say. Others are attempts to be clever ([[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|"navy"]] for [[semen]] because it sounds like sea men). Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among autistics, and you get his so-called '''CWCisms'''.

CWC-isms may be combinations of words that already exist, entirely new words, or commonplace words used repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

DivineTrial

2010-11-12T17:46:27Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

'''DivineTrial''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris dresses up as Divine, the famous [[Muscle_bra|crossdressing]] actor who played Babs in the 1972 cult film [[Wikipedia:Pink Flamingos|''Pink Flamingos'']], and then re-enacts the trial scene from the movie with [[Clyde Cash]] as the culprit.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = DivineTrial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QAvNrc1A9VI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DrainedCreativity]]
| next = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris stands in front of the camera wearing clown makeup, his shirt stuffed with his [[plush breasts]] and a red sheet of construction paper covering his crotch.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, folks, and darlings, this is Divine Babs y'know... We are going to go on a trial now fo- to go against... our culprit, here- mister Clyde Cash... Say hello to the audience, Clyde.

[''Chris holds up a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll supposed to represent Clyde.'']

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*''

'''Chris:''' Ay, ain't got much to say, huh? Well, that's a shame. Clyde, now, you spoke to me on live Internet before the trial here was started.

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*''

'''Chris:''' He stands accused of... being a [[troll]], a bully, and especially doing all these things against one Christian Weston Chandler and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Sonichu and Rosechu family]]... We bring in a witness here today... a which we will put that against Mr. Clyde Cash here... He's a witness- oh- s- Sonichu, I mean the original one...

[''Chris holds up a Pikachu doll, modified to resemble Sonichu.'']

'''Chris:''' All right, Sonichu... do you swear to speak the whole truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... so help you God?

'''Sonichu:''' I do.

'''Chris:''' Alright, then will you please... point out the guilty party of this room that has... done all the trollings and dwollings and all that... and even personal... threatening and what not against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler?

'''Sonichu:''' Yes, [[Wikipedia:Divine (actor)|Divine]]. He's right over there! Mr. Clyde Cash!

'''Chris:''' Thank you, that'll be all, you c- may step down from the witness stand... Alright, then we will now have order in the court, order in the court! [''Bangs the table with a coffee cup''] I have reviewed all the case files and what not... and in this [[Sonichu 10|kangaroo court]] justice... I hearby... pronounce sentence to Mr. Clyde Cash... he is gulity of all charges! And then- and... on the lawsuit here... for his punishment... he will be shot to death... and his wi- and [[PandaHalo|his wife]] and one-cent daughter... [[Women's rights|will go to a better husband...]] outside of his family... one will be provided for her by law... somebody within her local reach, but not within the state of [[Virginia]].

'''Chris:''' But anyway, the punishment is death for Mr. Clyde Cash... For doing so many wrongs against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler... Case dismissed! [''Bangs the table with his coffee cup again'']

'''Chris:''' Are you ready for your execution, Mr. Clyde Cash?

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*'' [[Image:Chris_is_phoenix_wright.jpg|thumb|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!]]

'''Chris:''' [[Random Access Humor|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!]] Buh-bye.
[''Chris pulls out his [[Megatron pistol]] and shoots Clyde.'']

'''Chris:''' And that was another fine episode of Divine's people court. You all enjoy- you all have yourselves a good day... and remember, Divine is... the filthiest, dirtiest person in the world... Even though I've temporarily dyed my hair brown... It's usually blonde.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]|nextlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

DivineTrial

2010-11-12T17:45:42Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

'''DivineTrial''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris dresses up as Divine, the famous [[Muscle_bra|crossdressing]] actor who played Babs in the 1972 cult film [[Wikipedia:Pink Flamingos|''Pink Flamingos'']], and then re-enacts the trial scene from the movie with [[Clyde Cash]] as the culprit.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = DivineTrial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QAvNrc1A9VI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DrainedCreativity]]
| next = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris stands in front of the camera wearing clown makeup, his shirt stuffed with his [[plush breasts]] and a red sheet of construction paper covering his crotch.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, folks, and darlings, this is Divine Babs y'know... We are going to go on a trial now fo- to go against... our culprit, here- mister Clyde Cash... Say hello to the audience, Clyde.

[''Chris holds up a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll supposed to represent Clyde.'']

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*''

'''Chris:''' Ay, ain't got much to say, huh? Well, that's a shame. Clyde, now, you spoke to me on live Internet before the trial here was started.

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*''

'''Chris:''' He stands accused of... being a [[troll]], a bully, and especially doing all these things against one Christian Weston Chandler and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Sonichu and Rosechu family]]... We bring in a witness here today... a which we will put that against Mr. Clyde Cash here... He's a witness- oh- s- Sonichu, I mean the original one...

[''Chris holds up a Pikachu doll, modified to resemble Sonichu.'']

'''Chris:''' All right, Sonichu... do you swear to speak the whole truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... so help you God?

'''Sonichu:''' I do.

'''Chris:''' Alright, then will you please... point out the guilty party of this room that has... done all the trollings and dwollings and all that... and even personal... threatening and what not against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler?

'''Sonichu:''' Yes, [[Wikipedia:Divine (actor)|Divine]]. He's right over there! Mr. Clyde Cash!

'''Chris:''' Thank you, that'll be all, you c- may step down from the witness stand... Alright, then we will now have order in the court, order in the court! [''Bangs the table with a coffee cup''] I have reviewed all the case files and what not... and in this [[Sonichu 10|kangaroo court]] justice... I hearby... pronounce sentence to Mr. Clyde Cash... he is gulity of all charges! And then- and... on the lawsuit here... for his punishment... he will be shot to death... and his wi- and [[PandaHalo|his wife]] and one-cent daughter... [[Women's rights|will go to a better husband...]] outside of his family... one will be provided for her by law... somebody within her local reach, but not within the state of [[Virginia]].

'''Chris:''' But anyway, the punishment is death for Mr. Clyde Cash... For doing so many wrongs against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler... Case dismissed! [''Bangs the table with his coffee cup again'']

'''Chris:''' Are you ready for your execution, Mr. Clyde Cash?

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*'' [[Image:Chris_is_phoenix_wright.jpg|thumb|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!]]

[[Random Access Humor|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!]] Buh-bye.
[''Chris pulls out his [[Megatron pistol]] and shoots Clyde.'']

'''Chris:''' And that was another fine episode of Divine's people court. You all enjoy- you all have yourselves a good day... and remember, Divine is... the filthiest, dirtiest person in the world... Even though I've temporarily dyed my hair brown... It's usually blonde.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]|nextlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

November 2010

2010-10-31T00:52:29Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

Whether the month of ''November'' will see the continuation of Chris's recent video frency or have him Crash into Slumber remains to be seen.

On 31 November, Chris will get laid.

November 2010

2010-10-31T00:51:52Z

EtonpilfAnetah: Created page with "Whether the month of ''November'' will see the continuation of Chris's recent video frency or have him Crash into Slumber remains to be seen. 31 November - Chris gets laid."

Whether the month of ''November'' will see the continuation of Chris's recent video frency or have him Crash into Slumber remains to be seen.

31 November - Chris gets laid.

DivineTrial

2010-10-30T23:58:04Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

'''DivineTrial''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris dresses up as Divine from the 1972 cult film [[Wikipedia:Pink Flamingos|''Pink Flamingos'']], and then re-enacts the trial scene from the movie with [[Clyde Cash]] as the culprit.

It should be noted that the actor who played the role of Divine in the movie is a [[Muscle_bra|crossdresser]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = DivineTrial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QAvNrc1A9VI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DrainedCreativity]]
| next = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris stands in front of the camera wearing clown makeup, his shirt stuffed with his [[plush breasts]] and a red sheet of construction paper covering his crotch.'']

Hello, folks, and darlings, this is [[Homos|Divine]] Babs y'know... We are going to go on a trial now fo- to go against... our culprit, he- mister Clyde Cash... Say hi to the audience, Clyde.

[''Chris holds up a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll which is supposed to represent Clyde.'']

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*''

Ay, ain't got much to say, huh? Well, that's a shame. Clyde, now, you spoke to me on live Internet before the trial here was started.

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*''

He stands accused of... being a [[troll]], a bully, and especially doing all these things against one Christian Weston Chandler and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Sonichu and Rosechu family]]... We bring in a witness here today... a which we will put that against Mr. Clyde Cash here... He's a witness- oh- s- Sonichu, I mean the original one...

[''Chris holds up a [[Pikachu]] doll, modified to resemble Sonichu.'']

All right, Sonichu... do you swear to speak the whole truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... so help you God?

'''Sonichu:''' I do.

Aight, then will you please... point out the guilty part of this room that has... done all the trollings and dwollings and all that... and even personal... threatening and what not against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler?

'''Sonichu:''' Yes, [[Wikipedia:Divine (actor)|Divine]]. He's right over there! Mr. Clyde Cash!

Thank you, that'll be all, you c- may step down from the witness stand... Aight, then we- when I have order in the court, order in the court! [''Bangs the table with a coffee cup''] I have reviewed all the case files and what not... and in this [[Sonichu 10|kangaroo court]] justice... I hearby... pronounce sentence to Mr. Clyde Cash... he is gulity of all charges! And then- and... on the lawsuit here... for his punishment... he will be shocked to death... and his wi- and [[PandaHalo|his wife]] and one-cent daughter... [[Women's rights|will go to a better husband...]] outside of his family... one will be provided for her by law... somebody within her local reach, but not within the state of [[Virginia]].

But anyway, the punishment is death for Mr. Clyde Cash... For doing so many wrongs against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler... Case dismissed! [''Bangs the table with his coffee cup again'']

Are you ready for your execution, Mr. Clyde Cash?

'''Clyde:''' ''*mumbling noises*''

[[Random Access Humor|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!]] Buh-bye.

[''Chris pulls out his [[Megatron pistol]] and shoots Clyde, despite him being sentenced to electrocution.'']

And that was another fine episode of Divine's people court. You all enjoy- you all have yourselves a good day... and remember, Divine is... [[Christian Weston Chandler|the filthiest, dirtiest person in the world]]... Even though I've temporarily dyed my [[hair]] brown... It's usually blonde.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]|nextlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:DivineTrial

2010-10-30T18:19:31Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

Oh jesus fucking christ. I guess I'll have a go at transcribing this BITCH - at least the audible parts of it. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 10:20, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
*Fucking done. Some bits were unintelligible, feel free to fill it in if you think you have a clue what the fuck he's saying. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 11:01, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

Oh Gawd what the fuck did I just watch? [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 10:34, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

This seems to be the ending of Sonichu 10 acted out. On top of Chris not knowing court proceedings, he also seems to think that when a person is guilty they are immediately strung out and shot. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:43, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

==Where this is from==
This seems like it is Chris' version of the court trail in the movie "Pink Flamigos", hence why it is named Divine Trial, Divine being the woman that ran the mock trial in Pink Flamingos. Is that worth mentioning in the article?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 11:09, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
*I thought he was cosplaying as someone, but I wasn't sure who or what. That should be added to the article, yes. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 11:19, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

Jason Kendrick Howell

2010-10-30T18:16:41Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

[[Image:Jason_Kendrick_Howell.jpg|thumb|Jason as he appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]]]]

'''Jason Kendrick Howell''' is the [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Howellgames creator] of the [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan Chris-chan ED page]. [[Chris]] wanted to call the [[police]] on Jason for allegedly having sex with an [[BlueSpike|underage girl]]. (Spoiler: Jason never did have that underage sex.) Jason goes by [[Metal Gear Solid|Liquid Snake]] on [[4chan]]'s /v/. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|According to Chris]], he is also "the Dork of Ages", a phrase (shockingly) stolen from ''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'': "[[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Wagons|Dungeons and Wagons]]".

==In real life==
[[File:Jasonhowell1.jpg|thumb|Jason wearing an eyepatch IRL.]]

After Chris discovered the [[ED]] page he had some e-mail correspondence with [[Jason]], from which Chris got Jason's phone number. Chris later used the phone number to find the city which Jason lived in, as well as tracing down his [[MySpace]] page, where he found [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] by looking at Jason's friend list. Chris made the assumption that Kathleen was Jason's girlfriend and Jason have had sex with her, which, combined with Kathleen's status as a seventeen-year-old, led to his accusation of Jason having underage sex. Chris also took note of the background image on Jason's MySpace page, and based Jason's appearance in the comic upon that picture.

After Jason's inclusion in the comic, Chris exchanged some more e-mails with him, but it soon came to a hold. About a year later Chris's [[Sonichu site]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash]]. Chris, assuming that Jason was behind the deed, responded by calling him and making the infamous "[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]" threat.

Jason eventually joined forces with [[Vivian]], recording his own voice for the [[Audiobooks]]. He also provided commentary for the [[Official Videobooks]], though he didn't so much comment on the videobooks so much as just ramble about the history of Chris with 4chan and ED.

==In ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason resembling Big Boss of ''[[Metal Gear Solid|MGS]]''.]]

Jason appears in ''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]'' in the episode, "[[Rage]] Against the Garbage", as the episode's primary antagonist. He appears to reside in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building on the 72nd floor (because 72 is 66+6. Get it? 666. Because he's evil).

Jason wears a cloak most of the time, and also has an eyepatch, headband, and brown hair. The eyepatch, headband and hair color sparked some curiosity and confusion amongst the [[trolls]], considering that it was almost a blatant reference to ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'''s "Big Boss" character. Some were worried that Chris had actually played ''MGS'', and was now ripping it off. However, it was revealed later by Jason himself that he actually sent Chris a picture of himself wearing an eyepatch. (Jason also tried to send Chris the first disc of ''Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence'', but due to Chris's mail paranoia at the time, it was returned to the sender.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ A Jason Retrospective, Part 3]</ref>)

Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] confront Jason and [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] over the images featured on the website of Rosechu's TRUE and ORIGINAL [[china|genitalia]]. After refusing to take down the website following Sonichu's shitty and meaningless speech, Sonichu attempts to fight Jason, only to have his furry ass kicked by Jason's "dark force" powers. Rosechu then face-rapes him nearly to death, but the "dark forces" keep him alive. It is assumed he will return in later issues.

Later on in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Jason is seen talking with [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Beel]] and [[Clyde Cash]] on the "66+6" floor. He calls them all Gaywads and flies off with [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] at his side to his two story house in the suburbs.

In a [[Book10Replacement|youtube video released 30 October 2010]], Chris presents a revised ending of Sonichu 10, in which he reveals that the couple broke up when Kathleen cheated on him with their secretary, and she later went to maximum security prison for smoking pot, where she shares a cell with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Jason dies offscreen in a car crash.

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Jasonhowell 08-09-12.PNG
</gallery>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKW4XLBYYfs Sonichu! The Audiobook! 4-Cent Garbage Jason Edition!] by [[Vivian Gee]]
*A Jason Retrospective: Jason talks of his part in the trolling. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISr7Fq7EPY Part 1], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY Part 2], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ Part 3], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG_ySvT2Qg4 Part 4], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umvpa89jZRU Part 5], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2-41BQvqU Part 6 (5.2)]
*[http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/JKH_Interview An interview Jason gave on his relation with Chris] on [[ED]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Howell, Jason Kendrick}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Jason Kendrick Howell

2010-10-30T18:13:49Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* In Sonichu */

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

[[Image:Jason_Kendrick_Howell.jpg|thumb|Jason as he appears in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]]]]

'''Jason Kendrick Howell''' is the [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Howellgames creator] of the [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan Chris-chan ED page]. [[Chris]] wanted to call the [[police]] on Jason for allegedly having sex with an [[BlueSpike|underage girl]]. (Spoiler: Jason never did have that underage sex.) Jason goes by [[Metal Gear Solid|Liquid Snake]] on [[4chan]]'s /v/. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|According to Chris]], he is also "the Dork of Ages", a phrase (shockingly) stolen from ''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'': "[[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Wagons|Dungeons and Wagons]]".

==In real life==
[[File:Jasonhowell1.jpg|thumb|Jason wearing an eyepatch IRL.]]

After Chris discovered the [[ED]] page he had some e-mail correspondence with [[Jason]], from which Chris got Jason's phone number. Chris later used the phone number to find the city which Jason lived in, as well as tracing down his [[MySpace]] page, where he found [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] by looking at Jason's friend list. Chris made the assumption that Kathleen was Jason's girlfriend and Jason have had sex with her, which, combined with Kathleen's status as a seventeen-year-old, led to his accusation of Jason having underage sex. Chris also took note of the background image on Jason's MySpace page, and based Jason's appearance in the comic upon that picture.

After Jason's inclusion in the comic, Chris exchanged some more e-mails with him, but it soon came to a hold. About a year later Chris's [[Sonichu site]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash]]. Chris, assuming that Jason was behind the deed, responded by calling him and making the infamous "[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]" threat.

Jason eventually joined forces with [[Vivian]], recording his own voice for the [[Audiobooks]]. He also provided commentary for the [[Official Videobooks]], though he didn't so much comment on the videobooks so much as just ramble about the history of Chris with 4chan and ED.

==In ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason resembling Big Boss of ''[[Metal Gear Solid|MGS]]''.]]

Jason appears in ''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]'' in the episode, "[[Rage]] Against the Garbage", as the episode's primary antagonist. He appears to reside in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building on the 72nd floor (because 72 is 66+6. Get it? 666. Because he's evil).

Jason wears a cloak most of the time, and also has an eyepatch, headband, and brown hair. The eyepatch, headband and hair color sparked some curiosity and confusion amongst the [[trolls]], considering that it was almost a blatant reference to ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'''s "Big Boss" character. Some were worried that Chris had actually played ''MGS'', and was now ripping it off. However, it was revealed later by Jason himself that he actually sent Chris a picture of himself wearing an eyepatch. (Jason also tried to send Chris the first disc of ''Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence'', but due to Chris's mail paranoia at the time, it was returned to the sender.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ A Jason Retrospective, Part 3]</ref>)

Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] confront Jason and [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] over the images featured on the website of Rosechu's TRUE and ORIGINAL [[china|genitalia]]. After refusing to take down the website following Sonichu's shitty and meaningless speech, Sonichu attempts to fight Jason, only to have his furry ass kicked by Jason's "dark force" powers. Rosechu then face-rapes him nearly to death, but the "dark forces" keep him alive. It is assumed he will return in later issues.

Later on in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Jason is seen talking with [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Beel]] and [[Clyde Cash]] on the "66+6" floor. He calls them all Gaywads and flies off with [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] at his side to his two story house in the suburbs.

In a [[Book10Replacement|youtube video released 30 October 2010]], Chris presents a revised ending of Sonichu 10, in which he reveals that Kathleen and Jason broke up when she cheated on him with their secretary, and that Jason died offscreen in a car crash.

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Jasonhowell 08-09-12.PNG
</gallery>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKW4XLBYYfs Sonichu! The Audiobook! 4-Cent Garbage Jason Edition!] by [[Vivian Gee]]
*A Jason Retrospective: Jason talks of his part in the trolling. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISr7Fq7EPY Part 1], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY Part 2], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ Part 3], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG_ySvT2Qg4 Part 4], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umvpa89jZRU Part 5], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2-41BQvqU Part 6 (5.2)]
*[http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/JKH_Interview An interview Jason gave on his relation with Chris] on [[ED]]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Howell, Jason Kendrick}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Villains]]

JuggaloShoutOut

2010-10-30T18:04:25Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

'''JuggaloShoutOut''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris keeps on the facepaint from his [[DivineTrial|earlier video]] while giving a "shout out" to fellow [[wikipedia:Insane Clown Posse|Insane Clown Posse]] fans who refer to themselves as ''juggalos.''

Chris recites a lyric from [[wikipedia:Coolio|Coolio's]] "Gangsta's Paradise", possibly misattributing it to an Insane Clown Posse song.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = JuggaloShoutOut
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sG1Wpp1NEm8}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DivineTrial]]
| next = [[HairDifference]]
}}

===Transcript===

[Chris is still wearing the facepaint and plush boobs he used during the DivineTrial video, although he has lost the red sheet of construction paper over his crotch.]

Also, another thing.

''[Chris breaks into song.]''

We will do this gangsta's paradise! Da da da da, da, da da da. Da da da da da, da da da.

''[Chris leans into the camera.]''

Always be a member of the juggalo family! We juggalos rule.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DivineTrial]]|nextlink=[[HairDifference]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

DivineTrial

2010-10-30T18:02:43Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

'''DivineTrial''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris wears his [[plush breasts]] and puts on some facepaint, then misunderstands, but absolutely lives up to, the term "[[Wikipedia:kangaroo court|kangaroo court]]". It appears to be the execution of [[Clyde Cash]] which Chris [[Don'tPintheOop‎‎|promised us earlier]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = DivineTrial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QAvNrc1A9VI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DrainedCreativity]]
| next = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
}}

===Transcript===

[Chris stands in front of the camera wearing clown makeup, his shirt stuffed with his plush breasts and a red sheet of construction paper covering his crotch.]

Hello, folks, and darlings, this is Divine (unintelligible) y'know... We are going to go on a trial now fo- to go against... our culprit, he- mister [[Clyde Cash]]... (unintelligible) audience, Clyde.

[Chris holds up a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll which is supposed to represent Clyde.]

(Clyde) *mumbling noises*

Ay, ain't got much to say, huh? Well, that's a shame. Clyde, now, you spoke to me on live internet before the trial here was started.

(Clyde) *mumbling noises*

He stands accused of... being a [[troll]], (unintelligible) and especially doing all these things against one Christian Weston Chandler and his Sonichu and Rosechu family... We bring in a witness here today... a which we will put that against mr. Clyde Cash here... He's a witness- oh- s- Sonichu, i mean the original one...

[Chris holds up what seems to be a [[Pikachu]] doll which has been modified to look like Sonichu.]

All right, Sonichu... do you swear to speak the whole truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... uh, you got...

(Sonichu) I do.

Aight, then will you please... point out the gulity part of this room that has... done all the trollings and dwollings and all that... and even personal... threatening and what not against mister Christian Weston Chandler?

(Sonichu) Yes, Divine. He's right over there! Mister Clyde Cash!

Thank you, that'll be all, you c- may step down from the witness stand... Aight, then we- when I have order in the court, order in the court! I have reviewed all the case files and what not... and in this [[Sonichu 10|kangaroo court]] justice... I hearby... pronounce sentence to mister Clyde Cash... he is gulity of all charges! And then- and... on the lawsuit here... for his punishment... he will be shocked to death... and his wi- and his wife and one-cent daughter... will go to a better husband... outside of his family... one will be provided for her by law... smoebody within her local reach, but not within the state of Virginia.

But anyway, the punishment is death for mister Clyde Cash... For doing so many wrongs against mister Christian Weston Chandler... Case dismissed! (Bangs the table with his coffee cup again)

Are you ready for your execution, mister Clyde Cash?

(Clyde) *mumbling noises*

[[Random Access Humor|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!]] Buh-bye.

[Chris pulls out his Megatron Pistol and shoots Clyde, despite him being sentenced to electrocution.]

And that was another fine episode of Divines people court. You all enjoy- you all have yourselves a good day... and remember, Divine is... [[Christian Weston Chandler|the filthiest, dirtiest person in the world]]... Even though I've temporarily dyed my hair brown... It's usually blond.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]|nextlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]}}

{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:DivineTrial

2010-10-30T18:01:58Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

DivineTrial

2010-10-30T18:00:32Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

'''DivineTrial''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris wears his [[plush breasts]] and puts on some facepaint, then misunderstands, but absolutely lives up to, the term "[[Wikipedia:kangaroo court|kangaroo court]]". It appears to be the execution of [[Clyde Cash]] which Chris [[Don'tPintheOop‎‎|promised us earlier]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = DivineTrial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QAvNrc1A9VI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DrainedCreativity]]
| next = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
}}

===Transcript===

[Chris stands in front of the camera wearing clown makeup, his shirt stuffed with his plush breasts and a red sheet of construction paper covering his crotch.]

Hello, folks, and darlings, this is Divine (unintelligible) y'know... We are going to go on a trial now fo- to go against... our culprit, he- mister [[Clyde Cash]]... (unintelligible) audience, Clyde.

[Chris holds up a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll which is supposed to represent Clyde.

(Clyde) *mumbling noises*

Ay, ain't got much to say, huh? Well, that's a shame. Clyde, now, you spoke to me on live internet before the trial here was started.

(Clyde) *mumbling noises*

He stands accused of... being a [[troll]], (unintelligible) and especially doing all these things against one Christian Weston Chandler and his Sonichu and Rosechu family... We bring in a witness here today... a which we will put that against mr. Clyde Cash here... He's a witness- oh- s- Sonichu, i mean the original one...

[Chris holds up what seems to be a [[Pikachu]] doll which has been modified to look like Sonichu.]

All right, Sonichu... do you swear to speak the whole truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... uh, you got...

(Sonichu) I do.

Aight, then will you please... point out the gulity part of this room that has... done all the trollings and dwollings and all that... and even personal... threatening and what not against mister Christian Weston Chandler?

(Sonichu) Yes, Divine. He's right over there! Mister Clyde Cash!

Thank you, that'll be all, you c- may step down from the witness stand... Aight, then we- when I have order in the court, order in the court! I have reviewed all the case files and what not... and in this [[Sonichu 10|kangaroo court]] justice... I hearby... pronounce sentence to mister Clyde Cash... he is gulity of all charges! And then- and... on the lawsuit here... for his punishment... he will be shocked to death... and his wi- and his wife and one-cent daughter... will go to a better husband... outside of his family... one will be provided for her by law... smoebody within her local reach, but not within the state of Virginia.

But anyway, the punishment is death for mister Clyde Cash... For doing so many wrongs against mister Christian Weston Chandler... Case dismissed! (Bangs the table with his coffee cup again)

Are you ready for your execution, mister Clyde Cash?

(Clyde) *mumbling noises*

Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange! Buh-bye.

[Chris pulls out his Megatron Pistol and shoots Clyde, despite him being sentenced to electrocution.]

And that was another fine episode of Divines people court. You all enjoy- you all have yourselves a good day... and remember, Divine is... [[Christian Weston Chandler|the filthiest, dirtiest person in the world]]... Even though I've temporarily dyed my hair brown... It's usually blond.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]|nextlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]}}

{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:DivineTrial

2010-10-30T17:20:37Z

EtonpilfAnetah: Created page with "Oh jesus fucking christ. I guess I'll have a go at transcribing this BITCH - at least the audible parts of it. ~~~~"

Oh jesus fucking christ. I guess I'll have a go at transcribing this BITCH - at least the audible parts of it. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 10:20, 30 October 2010 (PDT)

Sonichu 10

2010-10-30T17:17:55Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = [[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| coverdate = 15 September 2008
| finishedcomic = 25 February 2010
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]) although he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October [[2008]]. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu #9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. By the end of Episode 21, however, he remains in the comic.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Death of Simonla===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was putting pressure on Chris to kill or otherwise remove from the comics [[Simonla Rosechu]], whose creation had been based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]]. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the [[CWCipedia]], Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with [[Sandy]] and [[Wild]] teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

{{-}}
==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===

The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However, there is a bit more dialogue than the [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named [[Lovely Weather]]. Chris then goes on to reveal that he [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], and then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos]]exuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen.

He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!). Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he psychically calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the hundreds of plot holes: He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], who somehow survived [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and head for the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] HQ; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at [[4chan|4-cent_garbage.com]]'s HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]] and [[Punchy]] to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild play in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]

Chris, before killing his enemies, makes a stop at a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (a large, not-so-subtle sign notes the building is somehow hosted by Tripod, one of Chris's original webspace providers). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the Devil [[Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The trolls' flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, as best he can, the [[Wikipedia:Entertainment Software Rating Board|ESRB]] rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E- or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed ''[[Brutal Legend]]'', though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He then proceeds to teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building '''and fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, after "burning the Tripod bridge", proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, who's revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, preparing up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed. Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===

While waiting for the rest to show up, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two sonichus fight it out until the two of them conveniently hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs [[Naitsirhc]], not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, Son-Chu, Sonichu, Blake and Wild arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===POWER RANGERS FUCK YEAH===

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel, evidently alive, [[Clyde Cash]], making his first official appearance in the comics, and [[Jack Thaddeus]], also making his first appearance, warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too [[alcohol|drunk]] to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375. A memorial would be put up in the ruins and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they probably had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time]] one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.

[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]

Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on [[Women's rights|Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon]], [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. Upon returning, Magi-Chan declares that testing on the vaccine is a success and that he brought the crates to the present and are sending them across on trucks. It is said that one February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be called [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]]. He also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female from [[GodJesus]] and [[Fail|fall in love with Magi-Chan]].

===Chris trolls himself again===

All of a sudden, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a [[fail|fan of the comic series]]. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris, meaning Chris has cheated on his future wife AGAIN. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]]
After taking the time to grovel at his fans for the past comic and begging them not to abandon him, he and Sonichu take the Sonichu Ball Crystal things and transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, Chris decides to go back to CWCVille, but tells Ultra Sonichu to head for [[RuleCWC]] with Darkbind Sonichu before heading for [[Asperchu|Minnesota]] and wait for him. Back in CWCVille, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. As Crystal comes to, Allison says that she's called the paramedics to look after her. For some reason Crystal refers to Christian as "Christopher", though it's not clear if this is meant to be some kind of sign between the siblings, or if Chris just forgot about his [[The Bear|name change]].

Meanwhile, in [[RuleCWC]], Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. In "Da Cave", a stone breaks open and someone, possibly Clawdorf, realizes the Chaotic Crystals freed him, then asks how long he was out. That's right, the act of Chris and Sonichu activating their super forms allows a vaguely defined evil force to escape imprisonment. It's not like Chris and Sonichu ''needed'' to transform, either. The greatest threat to CWCville at the moment is Chris himself as he [[Twin Falling Towers|destroys various buildings]] with the power of [[fail|rock]]. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, who acts like the rest of the vapid Rosechus over what Darkbind did for her. This rescue complete, Ultra Sonichu races out, but not before he "[[Cole Smithey|coles]]" the window hatch.

[[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]

In Minnesota, Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu hover over the house of Alec Benson Leary, and break in. Discovering Alec's computer (which is revealed to be a [[HEXBox]] "Pavillion"; note Chris's computer is an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion (computer)|HP Pavillion]]), Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port, then concentrates and rips off ''Shadow the Hedgehog'' by placing himself inside the computer. Once inside, Chris proceeds to delete all files within the [[Asperpedia]], ban Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, the delete their accounts. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator, before he escapes, planting another Lightning Bomb to blow up the HEXBox. While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. While the art in Asperchu is hardly professional grade, at the very least it shows some understanding of perspective, proportion, and pacing. If anything it looks like a moderately skilled artist who just happens to be drawing very quickly, whereas Sonichu looks like it's drawn by a [[Christian Weston Chandler|retarded child]].

While investigating the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu overhears people talking and, upon leaving, discovers Asperchu and his variation of the Chaotic Combo, whom are tired of his world's mall. Upon seeing him, the Sonichu and Rosechu start going off into a nearly god-like praise for the [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu. The malformed beasts then proceed to tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's and pushed homosexuality on them and that they had real names before Alec gave them the names of the Chaotic Combo. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure them of Asperger's, transforming them into Michael, Bobby, Kitty, Trisha, Whisp and Swift (all of whom will never appear again). Asperchu then turns into a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. As thanks, Sonichu tells them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free. As he does, Chris blows up the HEXBox.

At this point the group literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before Chris]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God; [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|simply a representative of God]]. Metal Asperchu then shows up and assaults the group. Chris creates a barrier, though he doesn't bother to use his nigh-omnipotence to destroy the enemy or send him to the [[The Moon|goddamn moon]] and instead forces the non-chaotic Combo to combine their powers to defeat the creature. With that out of the way, they thank Chris again for being so awesome, then spot Asperchu creator Alec Benson Leary off-screen, and go to [[death threats|physically assault him]]. Chris has never seen an actual picture of Alec, and so he is never depicted. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Page 65 is a wall of text so mindbogglingly long and retarded that Chris has to cut his way out from the previous page (or something) to cram a picture. The tl;dr of it is an attempt to once again retcon everything his characters have done in anyone else's comics, reaffirming their sexuality, sweethearts, occupations, and rebuking any characterizations that say otherwise, in an attempt to absolutely distinguish that his Sonichu is unrelated to Asperchu in any way. He finishes by stating that his characters will never go to Minnesota, nor interact with any Mitch/Asperchu unless he says so. A point of interest is an implication that Chris thinks using Magi-chan to railroad the plot illustrates his "strength", as he considers Alec's take on the character to be "weak" for not doing exactly this. He also seems to think that Metal Asperchu is a Pokemon, which is strange considering that his [[Metal Sonichu|own robot]] has no place on his convoluted evolution chart.

Impatient, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant textwalling.

Back in CWCville, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]] (who has been trying to convince Chris to remove her from the comic via the [[Mailbag]] for weeks), who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Finally, Ultra Sonichu and the 4 unnamed Rosechus supposedly from [[Chris|Alec's]] basement arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. [[Basement Rosechus|The Rosechus]], named Brit-tay, Bride, Moe and Mary, decide to live their lives the way they should. Ultra Sonichu helps Mary into a wheelchair and flies off. As he leaves, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. The guy tells Sonichu he's been fighting a cold for five years and Sonichu thinks it's because of the nicotine (yes, folks. The man's high and Chris thinks it's because of tobacky!). He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]], where certain people will know how to use it better. Flying to the highest point of CWCVille, Ultra Sonichu uses Chaotic Control to free every [[Jerkop]] in the city.

===The Final Countdown===

Meanwhile, Collosal Chan confronts [[Slaweel Ryam]] in the [[PVCC]]. There, Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune as some means for Chris to justify the running plot thread of Mary Lee Walsh and her Jerkops had been somehow trying to stop TRUE and HONEST love and keep VIRGINIA for VIRGINS. [[Count Graduon]] had told her he could help her, but that obviously [[fail]]ed. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to smash it, her boobs apparently inflating to the levels of [[Mary Lee Walsh#Fan art|troll fan art]] as she does. Chris looks at it like an idiot and does so without a second thought. With that, Chris goes into a spiel in which he complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will kill Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and, of course, Chris gets the upper hand, reflecting Slaweel's attacks back at her before deftly defeating her. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]

With Slaweel defeated, Chris goes on to make a public announcement, mentioning that Slaweel has been put in a maximum security prison, with her ex-manajerks being released free of charges. He also goes on to allow homosexuality in CWCVille, but makes marriage illegal. He appoints Crystal head of social relations to try to make things better. As he talks, admitting [[Asperchu|Alec]] had a bigger fan base, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. ''Deus Ex Machina'' that he is, Magi-Chan stops [[Evan]] and [[Simonchu]] from killing Simonla, but isn't able to stop Alec from planting Toilet Exploding Voltorb, which detonates and hits Simonla while she's taking a piss. The police and medics race to deal with the aftermath, with Magi-Chan handing Evan and Simonchu over to the police. As Wild tends to Simonla, she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'').

As Wild worries and everyone tries to save Simonla, things go downhill and Simonla dies. Wild is told the bad news by [[Bill the Scientist]] and plans to get revenge on Simonla's killers, only to be stopped by Magi-Chan, since the killers had all conveniently already been arrested. At that time, Simonla's egg hatches, and the first thing the Rosey asks is "Where's Mommy?" Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her. Over the week, Wild tends to the little Rosey, who quickly evolves into [[Sandy Rosechu]]. Some explanation is given for Sandy's training and home life, including a mention that she is taught English (even though she is shown to be perfectly capable of speaking full sentences at the exact moment of her birth).

===Forgiveness...?===

The sequence of events is interspersed with Chris delivering an [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_6|apology]] to Alec and Evan and bestowing a Forgiveness Blessing on Mao. Both are completely undermined by the events of the next several pages, proving yet again that Chris [[Chris_and_remorse#Motivation_to_apologize|views an apology purely as a way to get people off his back]].

[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of CWCVille versus Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao. Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (who seems to be based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing. Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while high. The judge asks for order in the court and Sean orders [[fail|a beer float and pot stickers]]. All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. They're then sentenced to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
Alec is first, put on the Ten-Button Electric Chair. Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu- meaning Alec is '''flash-fried''' for daring to write a comic. Notable instances include Sonichu's protest of "I'M NOT GAY", Punchy's cry of "BLOOD AND GORE", Bubbles and her bitch Blake bitching about that Bubbles is not retarded, and Bionic's claim that he is not a robot (despite never being depicted as one). Evan is chained to a wall and '''drilled to bits by the infant Sandy (pointedly castrating him)''', who keeps his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there) before Wild helps her finish him off. '''Sean is shot to death by Allison, Bill and Kellie''' and finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]] with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before finally crushing his heart''', making this the bloodiest comic ever, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|despite Chris stating just ''pages'' earlier that the rampant gore in the Asperpedia was practically criminal.]]

It should be noted that when [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''.

Although the battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] was the culmination of years of comics by Chris coming to a head, it is given far less time and importance than the trial and execution by the Asperpedia crew. Similarly, Crystal's rescue from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] is done in about a page and a half, with no dialogue and no indication that it is in any way significant to the plot.

Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Independence Day. The comic ends with a page dedicating the book to [[PandaHalo]] and includes her original fanart and a page from her comic.

==="Extras"===

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===Preview===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris (who obviously is NOT pulling himself out of the comic) admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]]. On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, Chris would upload [[Book10Replacement|a video in which he presents the revision he had promised 6 months earlier]]. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four is sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot.

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Reggie Fils-Aimé

2010-10-29T13:41:49Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[Image:Reginald Fils-Aime.jpg|thumb|He has come here to kick autistic ass and chew bubble gum... and he's all out of gum.]]
[[Image:ReggieAndChris.jpg|thumb|left|Separated at birth?]]

'''Reginald "Reggie" Fils-Aimé''' ({{IPA|[ˈfiːzɛmeɪ]}}), is the president of [[Nintendo]] of [[America]] and colleague of [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]. He is also an opponent of "true love" and possibly a [[virgin with rage|virgin]], according to Mr. Chandler.

Chris's contact with Reggie formed the second stage of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], beginning after Chris failed to make it to Redmond and no-showed his planned face-to-face meeting with Miyamoto towards the end of [[January 2009]]. Never one to mince words, Reggie gave Chris a tough but fair assessment of his personal life and his potential as a top-flight [[video game]] designer. Chris reacted poorly, accusing Reggie of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] because of his [[autism]], comparing him to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and eventually throwing an unrestrained tantrum after Reggie bluntly told him that their collaboration was over.

Chris [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|threatened]] to take Reggie and Miyamoto to [[Charlottesville]] court before going back on his word and BAWWWWing to them in an [[CWC Update 31 January 2009|apology video]].

Reggie's next video game, [[Kick the Autistic]], will be released for the Wii and DS in time for Christmas. [[Jimmy Hill]], meanwhile, currently owns the European and Japanese gaming rights to Sonichu.

==Fils-Aimé Saga==
On 26 [[January 2009]], Chris released a [[CWC Update 26 January 2009|video]] wherein he claimed that he had been to [[Redmond]] to visit Shigeru Miyamoto and begin working on a [[The Sonichu Chronicles|Sonichu video game project]]. This, of course, was a [[lie]]. As a result of Chris's failure to make his appointment with Miyamoto, Reggie began communicating with Chris two days later, and their conversation continued through the first week or so of February.
{{clear}}

{{quoteboxred|'''Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America''' from '''Reggie Fils-Aimé''' to '''Chris''' on 28 January 2009 1:16 AM
----

But right now, I'm just strictly Reggie. I'm not going to even bother sending this through my Nintendo email address. Because you know what? This isn't business. This is strictly personal. I have something to say to you, and you need to listen. This has nothing to do with Nintendo right now, this is just me and you. Mano e mano. Man to man. I don't normally do this, but hell, I just need to get this off my chest.

If you don't know who I am, then allow me to introduce myself. My name is Reggie Fils-Aime. I've been kicking ass and taking names ever since the E3 expo at [[2004]] where I made my debut, where from then on I eventually earned my position as president of this company.

I'm known to be a loud mouth. I don't take crap from anyone. So if you are easily offended, I suggest you stop reading. But don't worry, I'll try to go easy on you, key word being "try" here.

But with that out of the way, I just want to say something to you personally.

May I kindly ask, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you for real or what? I was there for everything. I saw Miyamoto waiting for up to 2 days in the bitter cold for you to show up and you stood him up. I was even there trying to arrange everything for you, even setting up someone to escort you to our building complete with bodyguards and full security because I knew you were concerned about safety. And for what? So you could just NOT show up? I mean, I don't even know what to think, it's just completely unbelievable.

I'm sorry but it just is. I heard what you said to Mr Miyamoto too, your reasons for not coming. And I just have to say. How old are you? You're 27, if I'm not mistaken right?

27! I mean, think about it, you are almost 30! What is a man of your age still doing being coddled by his parents? Let me tell you, when I was about your age, I was already married and had children!

Your autism isn't an excuse either. I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.

That right there is what made it pretty clear that there is no chance in hell you're going to get anywhere with this project. Nevermind the fact that your parents didn't want you to go (or that you still have to get your parents permission at your age).

Think about what happened if you did go, and you had to ask mommy and daddy for an OK on everything? Imagine what a complete disaster that would be. I mean, listen. Simply put, you are not fit to do business with us as you are not even in a position where you can make your own decisions, which is vital to survive in the workplace, and even life in general.

I mean, seriously, who the hell were we talking to? I don't know about you. But this deal was about Nintendo and you. This was not the deal between Nintendo and the parents of Christian Weston Chandler.

I'm sorry, but provided that this whole thing you pulled on us wasn't an elaborate prank, this project was doomed from the start. It's just completely ridiculous. It is impossible for anyone to do business with someone who still has to rely on their parents to make their decisions.

Right now, I don't see how anything good could come from any of this. The only way I could even see this going anywhere is if you were to somehow learn to become independent, like a person of your age should be, and try to do something so that you don't rely on your parents to decide things for you.

But I don't see that happening ever in the near future (nor is it really my job to even have to tell you this). And because of that, I don't see how you'll ever be able to do business with us.

And you know what? I'll just leave it at that. Also, forget recieving a letter from us (and for what? So your parents can read it out loud to you? For Christ sake). This whole thing is through.

Our company will gladly deal with people who are up to the task. But we cannot waste valuable time and money on children who have no means of actually doing their part (their part, as in not their parents but "their part") to cooeprate with us.

Sorry for the rant, but you've wasted so much of our time, money and effort that I had to personally do what I'm known for, and that is kicking ass and taking names.

I always tell it like it is, and I'll be damned if I ever change that. So consider this as the final notice, this whole thing is through. It was through as soon as you made it clear that you are not mature enough to do business with us.

Other than that, I have nothing more to add. Please feel free to complain about me not being professional, I get that all the time. But nobody ever doubts my ability to tell people the things they need to hear. And what I just told you is nothing but that.

Sincerely,

The man who has been kicking ass and taking names since [[2004]].

Reggie Fils-Aime
 President
 Nintendo of America
}}

{{quotebox|Well, it is good to make your acquaintance, Reggie. I have viewed your [[Wikipedia:Wii Music|WiiMusic]] Tip Video on my Wii recently, and your introduction basically expanded my knowledge of you personally. Allow me to offer my congratulations on you becoming President of N.O.A.; last I heard, from snail-mail exchange, y'all had a woman for a president (I can't recall her name at the moment), so for my knowledge now. :)

In response to your message, let me say that I deserved that; it was as shocking as Mr. Resetti in [[Animal Crossing]], but in the sense of personally expressing yourself, I mean the comparison as genuinely a positive compliment.

I feel Truly, Deepest Sorry for missing the appointment; I have made the mistake of not being clear in the fact of my being unable to make the trip, and trying to compensate with sending myself via snail-mail (in a sense). As much as it was due to the lack of support from my family, I Could Not afford the Travel Fare to [[Redmond]] in the first place. I am considered compusive with handling money, and since the first notice of the business between me and Mr. Miyamoto came up Mid-January, I felt like I was "[[Bob walks in|caught with my pants down]]". I had spent my last amount of money from [[Monthly tugboat|my Social]] that I get every month to pay rent to my family, make payments on my Credit Card Bills, and even after that, I would have had only a hundred or so left over, and I had already compulsively spent that on the day I got the money on a couple of games. I feel at fault for not controling my compulsiveness enough to save a hundred at a time months before.

Then there is the mixture of Ligitimate business e-mail, from you all for example, and e-mails from [[Internet]] [[Trolls]]/Bullies/[[Impostor]]s, and among the chaos and confusion, I felt out of sorts, even the moments when I felt calmed down after a time from the stress. And my mother and father felt at unease amongst that confusion as well. Even when I put it up to my friends at my church; the same thing; they thought I was talking to an impostor, posing as Mr. Miyamoto. But after I received the automated e-mail from donotreply@noa.nintendo.com verifying Mr. Miyamoto's e-mail address as legitimate, I felt MOST Confident that I was dealing with the real Miyamoto. And yet, even after presenting the printout of that e-mail, everyone was still in doubt.

I have made great effort to seek local aid to fund me for the trip to Redmond, but unfortunately, I failed. It was heavily advised that I have the business between me and Miyamoto hand-written on Paper sent to me to present to my Attorney. Also, considering the rumors were Flying Heavily among the Internet Troll Population, if I had made the trip, I felt I might have been heavily physically harmed by those [[Death threats|vicious people]].

I will not disagree with the accusations of my emotions. Even though my family are of Great Business Expierences (let me also mention that my father, Mr. [[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]], while working at G.E. ([[Wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]]) has designed the Controls for the Plastic Molding Machines, so without him, we would not have anything Plastic as simple as a Funnel, or even the casing for the NES), I feel that I personally lack heavy business expierences that I would require. Due to my [[mental block]], I feel that I would require someone to speak for me in the beginning of a Heavy amount of Business. They also gave me a small amount of the words that were typed to Mr. Miyamoto, especially the requests for the advance in travel fare so I could have made the trip. While [[Chris and money|I personally understand the economical situations]] prohibiting the advance, my family, as well as the Majority of my Church's Congregation, disagree. With that one bit of green absent from being advanced, it set the Ground for the locally popular disbelief in my talking to Mr. Miyamoto.

If I did have the money advanced to me for the trip, my [[Mother|escort]] and I would have Most Definitely made the flight.

Believe me, I have been feeling the worst stress from my being unable to afford the trip, my attempt to compensate with the CD-R and DVD-R failing badly, having to cover-up in online discussions for my family and local friends' HUGE concern for my safety and health, and worst of all the shame I feel from all the stress.

I sincerely meant no harm, hostile behavior, or anything major like that from the words I have spoken, written and typed so far in this business transaction.

I Truly Want to Continue with the Sonichu Projects, because I require a brighter future to set me in good standings with my future wife and my future daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler]] (God promised her to me in a multiple of [[Dreams]]). So, I respectfully ask you to NOT Cancel it. With the Paper Documents Snail-Mailed to me, my efforts to save money for the trip, convincing my family, friends and attorney, getting my act well-prepared and well-together, and my Female [[Sweetheart]] by my side (she's [[Panda Halo|on her way to me from Australia]]), I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], will Truly Feel that I can Tackle the Project Head-On.

I appreciate your time and paitence, Reggie. And I have offered my deepest apologies to Mr. Miyamoto, as well as the Powerpoint Project and my [[CADD]] Plans for the [[Cwcville Shopping Center]] in two e-mails just recently.

Peace and Best Wishes, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
[[14 Branchland Ct.]] 
[[Ruckersville]], [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545 
(434)-990-0198 
Wii Number: 8626-5211-8387-4771 (Wii-Speak Capable) 
[[PSN]] ID: Sonichu ([[PSEye]] Capable)}}

{{quoteboxred|Listen, kid. I apologize for yelling at you, but if you know me, I am a guy who doesn't pull his punches. Let me tell you. They call me the most feared man in the game's industry, the "man who kicks ass and takes names." That Mr. Resetti comparison was kind of accurate actually. I guess I do deserve that title.

But I just have to be honest with you. I don't think you're ready for any of this. You seem to have a lot of issues in your life that you need to take care of before you can do business with anyone. I think right now Nintendo is the LEAST of your worries.

I mean, compulsive spending, severe paranoia, friends and family who do not trust you, you having to get their permission to do anything despite almost being 30, relying on social security and taxpayer money to survive, and the list goes on and on.

I'm sure if you had a job, didn't live with your parents, and were a self made man like a person of your age ought to be, you'd have no problem making it here.

But from what you're telling me, you've got a lot of issues and things to take care of in your life before you could ever reach such a state, and I wonder right now if I'm asking for the impossible right now.

Until then, I don't see how this could go anywhere. We've wasted so much time and money on this project only to find out that the man we're dealing with still is being coddled by his parents and doesn't even have a job or money of his own (taxpayer social security money issued to you for food/clothing doesn't count, which you shouldn't be spending on games anyway) or anything of that sort to even come through with this.

That is why I'm so frustrated with any of this. It's just so ridiculous. I've never seen anything like it. I thought we were dealing with a grown man, a self made man who could make his own decisions and come through with this. But what you've shown us is anything but that.

Sort out your own life first. Don't worry about Nintendo. Maybe once you finally grow up to be independent, sort out all the things preventing you from coming, and maybe even be able to make your own decisions and in life, then maybe at that point we'll be able to do business with each other.

But until then, I doubt we'll see anything come out of this. And even if it does work out at the moment, I can't imagine you being anything other than a huge liability for us. Being an independent person who can make his or her own decisions is paramount to survive in the business world, especially in the games industry. We don't have time to babysit you. While it may seem like all fun and games, this is a business for adults, not people who still depend on their parents to survive.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|I understand what you're telling me, Reggie.

But with statements like, " this is a business for adults, not people who still depend on their parents to survive," it makes me feel like I am being [[Kick the Autistic|discriminated against]]. I'm not one to judge, and I am capable of making my own [[The MovingFoward videos|sound decisions]] [[Attraction sign|in life]] [[Recycling|when it comes]] [[List of places that have banned Chris|down to it]]. My mind kinda rolled along with the moment, but the point is the discriminating statement pretty much.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Yeah, but you have to understand. I don't understand how you're going to do anything, when you don't even have your own life sorted out.

You're not being discriminated against. I'm just saying that you're clearly not cut out for this. How can you expect to lead a project when you cannot even lead your own life?

You have problems with your family, you depend on social security (which you use for games instead of your own needs), you seem to be completely paranoid and above all else, I don't see you making a single sound decision on your own. It seems to be that you're still being raised by your parents. We were under the impression that we were making a deal with an accomplished comic book artist, but instead you show us that you're inconsiderate, you lack any sort of independence or maturity, and above all else, you seem like the kind of person that would be a liability for our company.

To me, it doesn't seem like you need a video game. It seems like you need to sort out your own life before you try to get involved with something like this, which to me, you don't seem to be cut out for at all.

Mr. Miyamoto has requested that I let him talk to you and that I try to hold back and be a bit more polite, but even he admits that it is very hard considering all you've made us go through recently.

I have very little hope for this project at this point and I don't see what the hell is the point of doing any of this anymore. This is a bridge to nowhere. I'm going to either have to decide to step in and stop it myself, or either that just sit back and watch it fail anyway since I don't see how this has any chance of becoming anything.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|'''Re: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America'''
----

I see your point, Reggie, but YOU DID NOT HAVE TO CANCEL THE PROJECT INDEFINITELY! I mean, after I get things settled on my end, and when I have the [[monthly tugboat|funds]] to make the trip to Redmond, it would feel much beneficial to me to know that the Window is still OPEN for me. What I'm hearing here is that you've CLOSED the Window and sealed it with Concrete!

[[Chris and negotiation|I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT!]]

I apologize for coming off strong, but the objectionable feeling is True to me at the moment, and I would appreciate it if you would Re-Open the Window for me, and UNSEAL the Window, so I can still have the opportunity open for me. I will need a financial setting with a good job for when I have my family and individuality set, and I personally feel it BEST if I still had the opportunity to Work with Nintendo and [[Sega]] to bring my Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] to life in the Video Game World.

Please let me know that this Same Window of Opportunity will remain open for me. And if it helps better my case, I recently won a 400 dollar [[Gamestop]] Gift Card from the [[Guitar Hero Be A Star Sweepstakes]] and received it in the FedEx; I spent 3/4 of the card on my Church's Congregation, and those who requested a game from the card; the Majority of them asked for Wii Titles; Two asked for WiiMusic, and one of those two also got a copy of Animal Crossing City Folk With the WiiSpeak. And I ended using the rest for myself on Super Mario Galaxy, WiiMusic, LoZ: Twilight Princess, [[Sonic]] Riders: Zero Gravity, ALL FOR NINTENDO Wii, and a WiiSpeak. And I still have a [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase|HEAVY Positive and Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fanbase;]] You All at Nintendo will STILL be able to Gain More Money off of my Sonichu and Rosechu, especially when in the near future I will be most capable of flying to Redmond, meet with you and Mr. Miyamoto, and get this "Mario Party" Started.

Please reply with your contact information, including phone number, so I can contact you in the near future, when I TRULY WILL be ready. My Mind is SET on this, and I feel I can be Ready as early as the end of [[2009]]. You have my word as an Avid Gamer, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|Lamb of God]], and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America'''
----

We're not interested in your project. I've seen [[Sonichu Powerpoint|the powerpoint]]. Apart from the fact that you are unable to manage for yourself, the powerpoint really was the final straw. It was filled with gratuitous and shameless drawings with every other frame showing some form of partial nudity or characters making out with each other.

I cannot even fathom how you managed to think that would be a good idea.

Not only that, you keep mentioning [[Sony]], which you should know is the bitter rival of Nintendo and our mortal enemy. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but in every presentation I have given, whenever I mention kicking some behind, it's always directed to Sony. If you knew anything about our company, that would have been completely obvious.

But those are all moot points compared to the fact that you have demonstrated that you are not cut out for this kind of work and that your actions and mode of behavior would be a total liability for our company.

This decision is final. We are not going to do business with you and that is all. Sort out your own life. We cannot help you.

This is it. Do not email me or beg me for anything else. This is final. I cannot stress that enough. And if you do email me again, I will just repeat myself over and over. This whole thing is over. Goodbye.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|'''Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu'''
----

The LAST thing I need to feel is feeling like I've been Left within a tiny piece of shelfspace to collect dust and be forgotten.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu'''
----

Actually I think it's for the better. Maybe you can learn something out of this whole exchange.

But other than that, there is nothing more I can say or do for you. I'd appreciate it if you stopped emailing me now and maybe instead took some time to reflect on how this went wrong on your part. But this whole thing is finalized and done, and I cannot help you nor do I have the time to keep sending you emails when we have no official business with each other.}}

{{quotebox|'''One last thing'''
----

I still would deeply appreciate a document of the past business words, aggrements and all that from between me, Mr. [[Miyamoto]] and you, Reggie, snail-mailed to my home address I've previously provided to you, for my personal records and future references, Please.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: One last thing'''
----

It's not going to happen, pal. This is final. Don't take this personally.}}

{{quotebox|'''"Reply to your Reply"'''
----

Let me just say a few more things, and then I'll stop e-mailing you for a long while. There was Positively NO NUDITY at all in the Powerpoint Presentation. And What the heck is WRONG with True [[Love]] and Kissing? [[Christian Weston Chandler|Are you a Virgin yourself? Have you had a BUNCH of Bad Dates? Or are you soo Closed-Minded and Rednecked?]] I gave you respect after seeing you in that video on my Wii, yet you tell me that True Love is WRONG? You are just as bad or WORSE than the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Real-Life Mary Lee Walsh]], or as she is known as in the [[Comic]]s now, Slaweel Ryam.

I pity you if you've had your share of Bad Luck in True Love, yet at this point, you have just Lost My Respect.

True Love is a Truly Sacred Bond between WOMAN and MAN, and when they are together, they get attracted to each other very much to Kiss and later Make Love. [[Chris and Religion|GOD and JESUS WANTS US ALL TO EXPERIENCE and SHARE True, Straight LOVE!]] THERE IS NOTHING OBJECTIONABLE FROM THAT! I am a man who stand for [[China|True Love and Honesty]], in comics AND in Real Life, although I am still a Frustrated [[Virgin with Rage|Virgin with Autisim]] on the side. [[Chris and his Ego|AT LEAST I AM MAKING A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN KEEPING TRUE LOVE BETWEEN ONLY WOMAN AND MAN IN MY ACTIONS.]] On a Side-Note, I DESPISE ALL [[homos|HOMOSEXUAL MALES,]] PERIOD!

ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY [[Tobacky|SMOKE]] AND [[Chris and Hypocrisy|DRINK]], don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO [[Chris and Death|DEATH]] WITH [[Chris and Health|CANCER,]] LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND [[rule 34|GROSS]] AND [[nudes|DISGUSTING!]]

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Forgive me for raising my voice very loudly, but to ENCOURAGE the True, Straight Love that you obviously OBJECT, I felt it was Required and Necessary. [[Random Access Humour|I can be a "Resetti" too, Mr. Resetti.]]

Peace-Out, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|There wasn't. I never said there was. You assume too much and are way too paranoid about things, this is why I don't want to deal with you. Imagine if you were to flip out on someone while in the workplace like this? It'd be a complete PR disaster.

But I never said nudity or implied anything about your characters sexual preferences.

What I was referring to what the panty shot of Rosechu in one of the first frames. Then you show two characters in bed making love to each other.

Just what the hell kind of game did you want Nintendo to make?

Nintendo has always been in the business of making games for the whole family. That includes children. That is why you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you've shown that you're unable to do so.

Your mind seems too wired on other things. Your head seems to be in the clouds and you don't even know the first thing about being appropriate or tasteful. Did you think this game proposal would even be able to pass through the [[Wikipedia:Entertainment Software Rating Board|ESRB]]?

You know nothing about how the industry works. About things such as company reputation, age appropriate content or content that won't get shot down by the ESRB (look at the whole "[[Wikipedia:Hot Coffee minigame controversy|Hot Coffee]]" GTA scandal for example). You just think you can do whatever you want and hope it flies.

Also from what I recall, you sent drawn pornography drawn in colored pencil/marker to Mr. Miyamoto TWICE. Imagine if you did this to someone in a business situation. Do you want me to hire you when you are such a loose cannon?

It's not possible. I can't risk having such a huge liability. And in fact, your behavior is the reason I've decided to remove you indefinitely from Nintendo, and I hope that someday you get your act together (which I don't see happening any time soon).

But until then, this project is over and gone for good. If anything was the last straw, it was this email. I don't have time to fight with you, you are completely unstable, irresponsible and the kind of person who would probably flip out or even hurt someone if he were to put in the workplace.

I'm glad you made that video and cleared everything up. But now, just leave me alone. I'm not going to even bother replying back after this, or if you keep this up.

Also, by the way. You didn't spell your name right at the end of the power point. You wrote it as "ChriSTAIN." That would be grounds for any potential employer to not hire someone. In addition to the behavior you've just displayed and the type of proposal you tried to make, the last thing we need is someone who can't even spell his own name.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|Well, the game would not Constantly revolve around the Background Romance; it's called a "Happy Ending".

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|It's not something you show in a business proposal. There is a time and place for everything. But I don't understand why I have to tell this to you.

Either way, it's all over now and I don't want to deal with you anymore. I hope that someday someone takes you to seek consoling or behavioral therapy, and that you someday are able to manage on your own, because I don't have time to listen or try to help you as that is not my job.

Please leave me alone and I hope for the best.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quoteboxred|No means No, Chris.

Yeah, I saw your latest video there. I still don't think you get it.

The project cancellation was already signed into effect. There is nothing that can be done now. It is over.

You have no excuses. Your autism is not an excuse.

In fact, I cannot believe you for saying that. You continue to use your autism as a crutch and then continue to blame everything on it.

STOP!

Let me tell you right now, there is a difference between autism and pure irresponsibility/laziness. You are the latter, my friend, not the former.

Didn't I tell you that I once raised a son with autism? He had it much worse than you did. But guess what? He has a job, he is going to [[college]], and he sure as hell doesn't live in my house. He is able to manage for himself and I NEVER have to make any of his decisions for him.

What is the difference between you and him? I'll tell you, my son isn't lazy. He doesn't expect everyone just to give him everything. He knows that if he wants something, he has to work for it. And when he messes up, he doesn't blame his autism or people on the internet or anything else, he is able to know when he messed up and he takes responsibility for his own actions. And as a result he is a much better person for it.

You even try to blame me for "discriminating." That's complete malarkey. I've employed several people with autism, and even worse disabilities than you have.

But the thing is, those people are hard working and responsible. They want to work hard and they don't expect me to hold their hand and give them everything. And for one thing, they sure as hell don't still live with their parents at the age of 27.

You have demonstrated that you cannot get your act together and that you always want to put the blame on something else, whether it's autism, or even other people.

Pardon my [[Wikipedia:French language|french]], but that's bullshit. And whether you like it or not, that shit will never fly with me. That is why I am not going to have any part in your project and you're not going to be hired by us.

There is no excuse for your actions. You can give whatever excuse you want, but in the end it all comes down to you. Either learn how to take blame for yourself for when you mess up or don't even bother.

But either way, I want nothing to do with you because you've done so much to make me angry that I don't even know why I am still talking to you anymore. Just put a lid on it and go away.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|You can blame my constant NON-Acceptance of Cancelation to my [[Slow-in-the-mind|Red-Necked Personality Trait]] I picked up from my [[mother]].

I will NEVER accept a Cancel on the Project; it's Pigeonhole until I can make it or Continuation ONLY.

And, for the last time, I AM NOT LAZY!

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Accept it, because it already happened and now you're just wasting my time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Also stop blaming other people (or anything else) for your things that are your own fault. Taking responsibility for your actions is the first step to becoming a mature, more independant person who can manage for himself. You are acting like a spoiled little child right now.

And yes, not wanting to admit that you did anything wrong or always putting the blame on someone else so you don't have to take responsibility for it is indeed a sign of laziness and immaturity.

But why am I telling you this? It's useless. I can't seem to get through to you. You never even listen. Whatever I say goes from one ear out the other as you try to make up yet another excuse, over and over again.

There is no excuse you can make now though. The project was canceled and has been canceled indefinitely for a while now.

I am not going to even bother replying after this. Make up whatever excuse you want, resort to your same BS and blame everyone else but yourself, I don't care anymore.}}

{{quotebox|Well, I WILL continue to Haunt, Pester and Bother you until the project becomes Uncancelled and Shelved for until I AM ABLE to make the trip. I will Haunt Your [[Dreams]], with [[God]] by my side helping me to do that.

And if you do not like it, well I Triple-[[Dog]] Dare you AND Mr. Miyamoto to come to my house in [[Virginia]] Yourselves, talk to me and my family, and settle the matter like it should have been, have I been able to AFFORD to make the trip in the first place. Or, you all can very well bring me, my family and friends to [[Charlottesville|Charlotesville]], Virginia Court to settle this under a court of law. I have a SLEW of friends and family who will help me in court, and even define my own personal character as a humble human being.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dare us? That doesn't make any sense. Why should we come to your house? For one, we have no business with you now, and even if we did, you'd still have to make an appointment and come to our office.

But it's too late for that. We've already found someone who knows how to take responsibility for himself and conduct himself in an appropriate matter, and we're giving the project over to him.

He calls himself [[Clyde Cash]]. He's a real stand up guy. Unlike you, he took the initiative to not only to schedule an appointment with us and arrive on time (exactly on time, right at the very second), but also showed us the utmost respect and humility. Not once did he ever lash out at us, or harass us like you have done so far.

Not only that, he showed us that he can take care of himself, he has the leadership qualities we look for in an employee of this company.

He is a self made man with a honest hard working job, two degrees in things actually relevant to our business (one in game design, the other in fine arts, both from prestigious universities, and apparently he has degrees in many other things, he's a real a jack of all trades) and he even plans on getting married and having a child soon (he showed me a picture of him standing together with his future wife, [[Sarah]]. They make a good couple).

I don't understand why you couldn't be more like this guy? I mean, he came here on time, he didn't even have to beg us for money (and he even refused our offer to reimburse him), he is independent and lives on his own (you'll never see him ask his "mommy and daddy" for anything) and above all else, he's just all around a great guy who knows how to get things done and kick ass and take names.

I mean, couldn't you at least be half the guy this guy is? Is that too much to ask? But it doesn't matter now, we've finally found the guy we're looking for and you're not needed anymore.

Anyway, I look forward to working with our new business partner (and now, employee, as I have promoted him to a senior game designer position) and I can't wait start working with him on this project.

Be on the lookout for it, because this is going to be good, very good, even better than anything you offered us, and honestly better than anything we've ever seen. This Cylde Cash guy, he's brilliant. I'm thinking he could easily become the next Miyamoto, or even better. But yeah, this is going to be good.

Even though you'll have no part in this, I'm sure you'll still be able to enjoy it once it comes out because something this good, I mean, it would be downright stupid to want to miss something like this. It's going to be amazing.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|Clyde is NOT stealing my [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], is he?}}

{{quoteboxred|Sorry that's classified information.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear Chris,

We sent a letter to you. I'm sure you heard from a man named [[Mike Chandler]] by now. It's true, Mr. Miyamoto no longer has an appointment scheduled with you, nor will we acknowledge any longer that he had any correspondence with you anymore. The project is dead and buried and all [[Nintendo]] employees have been told to never acknowledge that the project ever existed. 
I already told you before that the project was canceled due to your inaction. We will not accept any more unsolicited game suggestions or business requests from you. As we mentioned, Mr. Miyamoto does make occasional business trips to the U.S. (and your previous appointment, which has expired and been erased from memory, was one of those trips), but for now he is back in Japan where he usually spends the majority of his time.

Now that you have received the letter, consider the cancellation official. It was nice doing business with you, but we will not make any games or take any ideas you have into consideration nor will we make Sonichu the game or anything related to it.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime 
President 
Nintendo of America, Inc.}}

{{quotebox|And it is Official that YOU, Sir ARE an IMPOSTOR. You blatently croped and copied a piece of the letterhead from the letter I've uploaded onto my server, and you have obviously forged that signature.

I am Ceasing my contact with you at Your current E-mail address, as well as "Mr. Miyamoto"'s E-mail address, because You BOTH were IMPOSTOROUS [[trolls|TROLLS]]. So you can QUIT your Cherade, you bastards.

Christian C.}}

==See also==

* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009]]
* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009]]
* [[The Sonichu Chronicles]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Reggie Fils-Aime|Wikipedia article on Reggie Fils-Aimé]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Fils-Aimé, Reggie}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Reggie Fils-Aimé

2010-10-29T13:41:30Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[Image:Reginald Fils-Aime.jpg|thumb|He has come here to kick autistic ass and chew bubble gum... and he's all out of gum.]]
[[Image:ReggieAndChris.jpg|thumb|left|Separated at birth?]]

'''Reginald "Reggie" Fils-Aimé''' ({{IPA|[ˈfiːzɛmeɪ]}}), is the president of [[Nintendo]] of [[America]] and colleague of [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]. He is also an opponent of "true love" and possibly a [[virgin with rage|virgin]], according to Mr. Chandler.

Chris's contact with Reggie formed the second stage of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], beginning after Chris failed to make it to Redmond and no-showed his planned face-to-face meeting with Miyamoto towards the end of [[January 2009]]. Never one to mince words, Reggie gave Chris a tough but fair assessment of his personal life and his potential as a top-flight [[video game]] designer. Chris reacted poorly, accusing Reggie of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] because of his [[autism]], comparing him to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and eventually throwing an unrestrained tantrum after Reggie bluntly told him that their collaboration was over.

Chris [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|threatened]] to take Reggie and Miyamoto to [[Charlottesville]] court before going back on his word and BAWWWWing to them in an [[CWC Update 31 January 2009|apology video]].

Reggie's next video game, [[Kick the Autistic]], will be released for the [[Xbox|Xbox 360]] in time for Christmas. [[Jimmy Hill]], meanwhile, currently owns the European and Japanese gaming rights to Sonichu.

==Fils-Aimé Saga==
On 26 [[January 2009]], Chris released a [[CWC Update 26 January 2009|video]] wherein he claimed that he had been to [[Redmond]] to visit Shigeru Miyamoto and begin working on a [[The Sonichu Chronicles|Sonichu video game project]]. This, of course, was a [[lie]]. As a result of Chris's failure to make his appointment with Miyamoto, Reggie began communicating with Chris two days later, and their conversation continued through the first week or so of February.
{{clear}}

{{quoteboxred|'''Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America''' from '''Reggie Fils-Aimé''' to '''Chris''' on 28 January 2009 1:16 AM
----

But right now, I'm just strictly Reggie. I'm not going to even bother sending this through my Nintendo email address. Because you know what? This isn't business. This is strictly personal. I have something to say to you, and you need to listen. This has nothing to do with Nintendo right now, this is just me and you. Mano e mano. Man to man. I don't normally do this, but hell, I just need to get this off my chest.

If you don't know who I am, then allow me to introduce myself. My name is Reggie Fils-Aime. I've been kicking ass and taking names ever since the E3 expo at [[2004]] where I made my debut, where from then on I eventually earned my position as president of this company.

I'm known to be a loud mouth. I don't take crap from anyone. So if you are easily offended, I suggest you stop reading. But don't worry, I'll try to go easy on you, key word being "try" here.

But with that out of the way, I just want to say something to you personally.

May I kindly ask, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you for real or what? I was there for everything. I saw Miyamoto waiting for up to 2 days in the bitter cold for you to show up and you stood him up. I was even there trying to arrange everything for you, even setting up someone to escort you to our building complete with bodyguards and full security because I knew you were concerned about safety. And for what? So you could just NOT show up? I mean, I don't even know what to think, it's just completely unbelievable.

I'm sorry but it just is. I heard what you said to Mr Miyamoto too, your reasons for not coming. And I just have to say. How old are you? You're 27, if I'm not mistaken right?

27! I mean, think about it, you are almost 30! What is a man of your age still doing being coddled by his parents? Let me tell you, when I was about your age, I was already married and had children!

Your autism isn't an excuse either. I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.

That right there is what made it pretty clear that there is no chance in hell you're going to get anywhere with this project. Nevermind the fact that your parents didn't want you to go (or that you still have to get your parents permission at your age).

Think about what happened if you did go, and you had to ask mommy and daddy for an OK on everything? Imagine what a complete disaster that would be. I mean, listen. Simply put, you are not fit to do business with us as you are not even in a position where you can make your own decisions, which is vital to survive in the workplace, and even life in general.

I mean, seriously, who the hell were we talking to? I don't know about you. But this deal was about Nintendo and you. This was not the deal between Nintendo and the parents of Christian Weston Chandler.

I'm sorry, but provided that this whole thing you pulled on us wasn't an elaborate prank, this project was doomed from the start. It's just completely ridiculous. It is impossible for anyone to do business with someone who still has to rely on their parents to make their decisions.

Right now, I don't see how anything good could come from any of this. The only way I could even see this going anywhere is if you were to somehow learn to become independent, like a person of your age should be, and try to do something so that you don't rely on your parents to decide things for you.

But I don't see that happening ever in the near future (nor is it really my job to even have to tell you this). And because of that, I don't see how you'll ever be able to do business with us.

And you know what? I'll just leave it at that. Also, forget recieving a letter from us (and for what? So your parents can read it out loud to you? For Christ sake). This whole thing is through.

Our company will gladly deal with people who are up to the task. But we cannot waste valuable time and money on children who have no means of actually doing their part (their part, as in not their parents but "their part") to cooeprate with us.

Sorry for the rant, but you've wasted so much of our time, money and effort that I had to personally do what I'm known for, and that is kicking ass and taking names.

I always tell it like it is, and I'll be damned if I ever change that. So consider this as the final notice, this whole thing is through. It was through as soon as you made it clear that you are not mature enough to do business with us.

Other than that, I have nothing more to add. Please feel free to complain about me not being professional, I get that all the time. But nobody ever doubts my ability to tell people the things they need to hear. And what I just told you is nothing but that.

Sincerely,

The man who has been kicking ass and taking names since [[2004]].

Reggie Fils-Aime
 President
 Nintendo of America
}}

{{quotebox|Well, it is good to make your acquaintance, Reggie. I have viewed your [[Wikipedia:Wii Music|WiiMusic]] Tip Video on my Wii recently, and your introduction basically expanded my knowledge of you personally. Allow me to offer my congratulations on you becoming President of N.O.A.; last I heard, from snail-mail exchange, y'all had a woman for a president (I can't recall her name at the moment), so for my knowledge now. :)

In response to your message, let me say that I deserved that; it was as shocking as Mr. Resetti in [[Animal Crossing]], but in the sense of personally expressing yourself, I mean the comparison as genuinely a positive compliment.

I feel Truly, Deepest Sorry for missing the appointment; I have made the mistake of not being clear in the fact of my being unable to make the trip, and trying to compensate with sending myself via snail-mail (in a sense). As much as it was due to the lack of support from my family, I Could Not afford the Travel Fare to [[Redmond]] in the first place. I am considered compusive with handling money, and since the first notice of the business between me and Mr. Miyamoto came up Mid-January, I felt like I was "[[Bob walks in|caught with my pants down]]". I had spent my last amount of money from [[Monthly tugboat|my Social]] that I get every month to pay rent to my family, make payments on my Credit Card Bills, and even after that, I would have had only a hundred or so left over, and I had already compulsively spent that on the day I got the money on a couple of games. I feel at fault for not controling my compulsiveness enough to save a hundred at a time months before.

Then there is the mixture of Ligitimate business e-mail, from you all for example, and e-mails from [[Internet]] [[Trolls]]/Bullies/[[Impostor]]s, and among the chaos and confusion, I felt out of sorts, even the moments when I felt calmed down after a time from the stress. And my mother and father felt at unease amongst that confusion as well. Even when I put it up to my friends at my church; the same thing; they thought I was talking to an impostor, posing as Mr. Miyamoto. But after I received the automated e-mail from donotreply@noa.nintendo.com verifying Mr. Miyamoto's e-mail address as legitimate, I felt MOST Confident that I was dealing with the real Miyamoto. And yet, even after presenting the printout of that e-mail, everyone was still in doubt.

I have made great effort to seek local aid to fund me for the trip to Redmond, but unfortunately, I failed. It was heavily advised that I have the business between me and Miyamoto hand-written on Paper sent to me to present to my Attorney. Also, considering the rumors were Flying Heavily among the Internet Troll Population, if I had made the trip, I felt I might have been heavily physically harmed by those [[Death threats|vicious people]].

I will not disagree with the accusations of my emotions. Even though my family are of Great Business Expierences (let me also mention that my father, Mr. [[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]], while working at G.E. ([[Wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]]) has designed the Controls for the Plastic Molding Machines, so without him, we would not have anything Plastic as simple as a Funnel, or even the casing for the NES), I feel that I personally lack heavy business expierences that I would require. Due to my [[mental block]], I feel that I would require someone to speak for me in the beginning of a Heavy amount of Business. They also gave me a small amount of the words that were typed to Mr. Miyamoto, especially the requests for the advance in travel fare so I could have made the trip. While [[Chris and money|I personally understand the economical situations]] prohibiting the advance, my family, as well as the Majority of my Church's Congregation, disagree. With that one bit of green absent from being advanced, it set the Ground for the locally popular disbelief in my talking to Mr. Miyamoto.

If I did have the money advanced to me for the trip, my [[Mother|escort]] and I would have Most Definitely made the flight.

Believe me, I have been feeling the worst stress from my being unable to afford the trip, my attempt to compensate with the CD-R and DVD-R failing badly, having to cover-up in online discussions for my family and local friends' HUGE concern for my safety and health, and worst of all the shame I feel from all the stress.

I sincerely meant no harm, hostile behavior, or anything major like that from the words I have spoken, written and typed so far in this business transaction.

I Truly Want to Continue with the Sonichu Projects, because I require a brighter future to set me in good standings with my future wife and my future daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler]] (God promised her to me in a multiple of [[Dreams]]). So, I respectfully ask you to NOT Cancel it. With the Paper Documents Snail-Mailed to me, my efforts to save money for the trip, convincing my family, friends and attorney, getting my act well-prepared and well-together, and my Female [[Sweetheart]] by my side (she's [[Panda Halo|on her way to me from Australia]]), I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], will Truly Feel that I can Tackle the Project Head-On.

I appreciate your time and paitence, Reggie. And I have offered my deepest apologies to Mr. Miyamoto, as well as the Powerpoint Project and my [[CADD]] Plans for the [[Cwcville Shopping Center]] in two e-mails just recently.

Peace and Best Wishes, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
[[14 Branchland Ct.]] 
[[Ruckersville]], [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545 
(434)-990-0198 
Wii Number: 8626-5211-8387-4771 (Wii-Speak Capable) 
[[PSN]] ID: Sonichu ([[PSEye]] Capable)}}

{{quoteboxred|Listen, kid. I apologize for yelling at you, but if you know me, I am a guy who doesn't pull his punches. Let me tell you. They call me the most feared man in the game's industry, the "man who kicks ass and takes names." That Mr. Resetti comparison was kind of accurate actually. I guess I do deserve that title.

But I just have to be honest with you. I don't think you're ready for any of this. You seem to have a lot of issues in your life that you need to take care of before you can do business with anyone. I think right now Nintendo is the LEAST of your worries.

I mean, compulsive spending, severe paranoia, friends and family who do not trust you, you having to get their permission to do anything despite almost being 30, relying on social security and taxpayer money to survive, and the list goes on and on.

I'm sure if you had a job, didn't live with your parents, and were a self made man like a person of your age ought to be, you'd have no problem making it here.

But from what you're telling me, you've got a lot of issues and things to take care of in your life before you could ever reach such a state, and I wonder right now if I'm asking for the impossible right now.

Until then, I don't see how this could go anywhere. We've wasted so much time and money on this project only to find out that the man we're dealing with still is being coddled by his parents and doesn't even have a job or money of his own (taxpayer social security money issued to you for food/clothing doesn't count, which you shouldn't be spending on games anyway) or anything of that sort to even come through with this.

That is why I'm so frustrated with any of this. It's just so ridiculous. I've never seen anything like it. I thought we were dealing with a grown man, a self made man who could make his own decisions and come through with this. But what you've shown us is anything but that.

Sort out your own life first. Don't worry about Nintendo. Maybe once you finally grow up to be independent, sort out all the things preventing you from coming, and maybe even be able to make your own decisions and in life, then maybe at that point we'll be able to do business with each other.

But until then, I doubt we'll see anything come out of this. And even if it does work out at the moment, I can't imagine you being anything other than a huge liability for us. Being an independent person who can make his or her own decisions is paramount to survive in the business world, especially in the games industry. We don't have time to babysit you. While it may seem like all fun and games, this is a business for adults, not people who still depend on their parents to survive.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|I understand what you're telling me, Reggie.

But with statements like, " this is a business for adults, not people who still depend on their parents to survive," it makes me feel like I am being [[Kick the Autistic|discriminated against]]. I'm not one to judge, and I am capable of making my own [[The MovingFoward videos|sound decisions]] [[Attraction sign|in life]] [[Recycling|when it comes]] [[List of places that have banned Chris|down to it]]. My mind kinda rolled along with the moment, but the point is the discriminating statement pretty much.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Yeah, but you have to understand. I don't understand how you're going to do anything, when you don't even have your own life sorted out.

You're not being discriminated against. I'm just saying that you're clearly not cut out for this. How can you expect to lead a project when you cannot even lead your own life?

You have problems with your family, you depend on social security (which you use for games instead of your own needs), you seem to be completely paranoid and above all else, I don't see you making a single sound decision on your own. It seems to be that you're still being raised by your parents. We were under the impression that we were making a deal with an accomplished comic book artist, but instead you show us that you're inconsiderate, you lack any sort of independence or maturity, and above all else, you seem like the kind of person that would be a liability for our company.

To me, it doesn't seem like you need a video game. It seems like you need to sort out your own life before you try to get involved with something like this, which to me, you don't seem to be cut out for at all.

Mr. Miyamoto has requested that I let him talk to you and that I try to hold back and be a bit more polite, but even he admits that it is very hard considering all you've made us go through recently.

I have very little hope for this project at this point and I don't see what the hell is the point of doing any of this anymore. This is a bridge to nowhere. I'm going to either have to decide to step in and stop it myself, or either that just sit back and watch it fail anyway since I don't see how this has any chance of becoming anything.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|'''Re: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America'''
----

I see your point, Reggie, but YOU DID NOT HAVE TO CANCEL THE PROJECT INDEFINITELY! I mean, after I get things settled on my end, and when I have the [[monthly tugboat|funds]] to make the trip to Redmond, it would feel much beneficial to me to know that the Window is still OPEN for me. What I'm hearing here is that you've CLOSED the Window and sealed it with Concrete!

[[Chris and negotiation|I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT!]]

I apologize for coming off strong, but the objectionable feeling is True to me at the moment, and I would appreciate it if you would Re-Open the Window for me, and UNSEAL the Window, so I can still have the opportunity open for me. I will need a financial setting with a good job for when I have my family and individuality set, and I personally feel it BEST if I still had the opportunity to Work with Nintendo and [[Sega]] to bring my Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] to life in the Video Game World.

Please let me know that this Same Window of Opportunity will remain open for me. And if it helps better my case, I recently won a 400 dollar [[Gamestop]] Gift Card from the [[Guitar Hero Be A Star Sweepstakes]] and received it in the FedEx; I spent 3/4 of the card on my Church's Congregation, and those who requested a game from the card; the Majority of them asked for Wii Titles; Two asked for WiiMusic, and one of those two also got a copy of Animal Crossing City Folk With the WiiSpeak. And I ended using the rest for myself on Super Mario Galaxy, WiiMusic, LoZ: Twilight Princess, [[Sonic]] Riders: Zero Gravity, ALL FOR NINTENDO Wii, and a WiiSpeak. And I still have a [[TRUE and LOYAL fanbase|HEAVY Positive and Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fanbase;]] You All at Nintendo will STILL be able to Gain More Money off of my Sonichu and Rosechu, especially when in the near future I will be most capable of flying to Redmond, meet with you and Mr. Miyamoto, and get this "Mario Party" Started.

Please reply with your contact information, including phone number, so I can contact you in the near future, when I TRULY WILL be ready. My Mind is SET on this, and I feel I can be Ready as early as the end of [[2009]]. You have my word as an Avid Gamer, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|Lamb of God]], and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America'''
----

We're not interested in your project. I've seen [[Sonichu Powerpoint|the powerpoint]]. Apart from the fact that you are unable to manage for yourself, the powerpoint really was the final straw. It was filled with gratuitous and shameless drawings with every other frame showing some form of partial nudity or characters making out with each other.

I cannot even fathom how you managed to think that would be a good idea.

Not only that, you keep mentioning [[Sony]], which you should know is the bitter rival of Nintendo and our mortal enemy. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but in every presentation I have given, whenever I mention kicking some behind, it's always directed to Sony. If you knew anything about our company, that would have been completely obvious.

But those are all moot points compared to the fact that you have demonstrated that you are not cut out for this kind of work and that your actions and mode of behavior would be a total liability for our company.

This decision is final. We are not going to do business with you and that is all. Sort out your own life. We cannot help you.

This is it. Do not email me or beg me for anything else. This is final. I cannot stress that enough. And if you do email me again, I will just repeat myself over and over. This whole thing is over. Goodbye.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|'''Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu'''
----

The LAST thing I need to feel is feeling like I've been Left within a tiny piece of shelfspace to collect dust and be forgotten.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu'''
----

Actually I think it's for the better. Maybe you can learn something out of this whole exchange.

But other than that, there is nothing more I can say or do for you. I'd appreciate it if you stopped emailing me now and maybe instead took some time to reflect on how this went wrong on your part. But this whole thing is finalized and done, and I cannot help you nor do I have the time to keep sending you emails when we have no official business with each other.}}

{{quotebox|'''One last thing'''
----

I still would deeply appreciate a document of the past business words, aggrements and all that from between me, Mr. [[Miyamoto]] and you, Reggie, snail-mailed to my home address I've previously provided to you, for my personal records and future references, Please.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|'''RE: One last thing'''
----

It's not going to happen, pal. This is final. Don't take this personally.}}

{{quotebox|'''"Reply to your Reply"'''
----

Let me just say a few more things, and then I'll stop e-mailing you for a long while. There was Positively NO NUDITY at all in the Powerpoint Presentation. And What the heck is WRONG with True [[Love]] and Kissing? [[Christian Weston Chandler|Are you a Virgin yourself? Have you had a BUNCH of Bad Dates? Or are you soo Closed-Minded and Rednecked?]] I gave you respect after seeing you in that video on my Wii, yet you tell me that True Love is WRONG? You are just as bad or WORSE than the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Real-Life Mary Lee Walsh]], or as she is known as in the [[Comic]]s now, Slaweel Ryam.

I pity you if you've had your share of Bad Luck in True Love, yet at this point, you have just Lost My Respect.

True Love is a Truly Sacred Bond between WOMAN and MAN, and when they are together, they get attracted to each other very much to Kiss and later Make Love. [[Chris and Religion|GOD and JESUS WANTS US ALL TO EXPERIENCE and SHARE True, Straight LOVE!]] THERE IS NOTHING OBJECTIONABLE FROM THAT! I am a man who stand for [[China|True Love and Honesty]], in comics AND in Real Life, although I am still a Frustrated [[Virgin with Rage|Virgin with Autisim]] on the side. [[Chris and his Ego|AT LEAST I AM MAKING A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN KEEPING TRUE LOVE BETWEEN ONLY WOMAN AND MAN IN MY ACTIONS.]] On a Side-Note, I DESPISE ALL [[homos|HOMOSEXUAL MALES,]] PERIOD!

ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY [[Tobacky|SMOKE]] AND [[Chris and Hypocrisy|DRINK]], don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO [[Chris and Death|DEATH]] WITH [[Chris and Health|CANCER,]] LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND [[rule 34|GROSS]] AND [[nudes|DISGUSTING!]]

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Forgive me for raising my voice very loudly, but to ENCOURAGE the True, Straight Love that you obviously OBJECT, I felt it was Required and Necessary. [[Random Access Humour|I can be a "Resetti" too, Mr. Resetti.]]

Peace-Out, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|There wasn't. I never said there was. You assume too much and are way too paranoid about things, this is why I don't want to deal with you. Imagine if you were to flip out on someone while in the workplace like this? It'd be a complete PR disaster.

But I never said nudity or implied anything about your characters sexual preferences.

What I was referring to what the panty shot of Rosechu in one of the first frames. Then you show two characters in bed making love to each other.

Just what the hell kind of game did you want Nintendo to make?

Nintendo has always been in the business of making games for the whole family. That includes children. That is why you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you've shown that you're unable to do so.

Your mind seems too wired on other things. Your head seems to be in the clouds and you don't even know the first thing about being appropriate or tasteful. Did you think this game proposal would even be able to pass through the [[Wikipedia:Entertainment Software Rating Board|ESRB]]?

You know nothing about how the industry works. About things such as company reputation, age appropriate content or content that won't get shot down by the ESRB (look at the whole "[[Wikipedia:Hot Coffee minigame controversy|Hot Coffee]]" GTA scandal for example). You just think you can do whatever you want and hope it flies.

Also from what I recall, you sent drawn pornography drawn in colored pencil/marker to Mr. Miyamoto TWICE. Imagine if you did this to someone in a business situation. Do you want me to hire you when you are such a loose cannon?

It's not possible. I can't risk having such a huge liability. And in fact, your behavior is the reason I've decided to remove you indefinitely from Nintendo, and I hope that someday you get your act together (which I don't see happening any time soon).

But until then, this project is over and gone for good. If anything was the last straw, it was this email. I don't have time to fight with you, you are completely unstable, irresponsible and the kind of person who would probably flip out or even hurt someone if he were to put in the workplace.

I'm glad you made that video and cleared everything up. But now, just leave me alone. I'm not going to even bother replying back after this, or if you keep this up.

Also, by the way. You didn't spell your name right at the end of the power point. You wrote it as "ChriSTAIN." That would be grounds for any potential employer to not hire someone. In addition to the behavior you've just displayed and the type of proposal you tried to make, the last thing we need is someone who can't even spell his own name.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|Well, the game would not Constantly revolve around the Background Romance; it's called a "Happy Ending".

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|It's not something you show in a business proposal. There is a time and place for everything. But I don't understand why I have to tell this to you.

Either way, it's all over now and I don't want to deal with you anymore. I hope that someday someone takes you to seek consoling or behavioral therapy, and that you someday are able to manage on your own, because I don't have time to listen or try to help you as that is not my job.

Please leave me alone and I hope for the best.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quoteboxred|No means No, Chris.

Yeah, I saw your latest video there. I still don't think you get it.

The project cancellation was already signed into effect. There is nothing that can be done now. It is over.

You have no excuses. Your autism is not an excuse.

In fact, I cannot believe you for saying that. You continue to use your autism as a crutch and then continue to blame everything on it.

STOP!

Let me tell you right now, there is a difference between autism and pure irresponsibility/laziness. You are the latter, my friend, not the former.

Didn't I tell you that I once raised a son with autism? He had it much worse than you did. But guess what? He has a job, he is going to [[college]], and he sure as hell doesn't live in my house. He is able to manage for himself and I NEVER have to make any of his decisions for him.

What is the difference between you and him? I'll tell you, my son isn't lazy. He doesn't expect everyone just to give him everything. He knows that if he wants something, he has to work for it. And when he messes up, he doesn't blame his autism or people on the internet or anything else, he is able to know when he messed up and he takes responsibility for his own actions. And as a result he is a much better person for it.

You even try to blame me for "discriminating." That's complete malarkey. I've employed several people with autism, and even worse disabilities than you have.

But the thing is, those people are hard working and responsible. They want to work hard and they don't expect me to hold their hand and give them everything. And for one thing, they sure as hell don't still live with their parents at the age of 27.

You have demonstrated that you cannot get your act together and that you always want to put the blame on something else, whether it's autism, or even other people.

Pardon my [[Wikipedia:French language|french]], but that's bullshit. And whether you like it or not, that shit will never fly with me. That is why I am not going to have any part in your project and you're not going to be hired by us.

There is no excuse for your actions. You can give whatever excuse you want, but in the end it all comes down to you. Either learn how to take blame for yourself for when you mess up or don't even bother.

But either way, I want nothing to do with you because you've done so much to make me angry that I don't even know why I am still talking to you anymore. Just put a lid on it and go away.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|You can blame my constant NON-Acceptance of Cancelation to my [[Slow-in-the-mind|Red-Necked Personality Trait]] I picked up from my [[mother]].

I will NEVER accept a Cancel on the Project; it's Pigeonhole until I can make it or Continuation ONLY.

And, for the last time, I AM NOT LAZY!

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Accept it, because it already happened and now you're just wasting my time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Also stop blaming other people (or anything else) for your things that are your own fault. Taking responsibility for your actions is the first step to becoming a mature, more independant person who can manage for himself. You are acting like a spoiled little child right now.

And yes, not wanting to admit that you did anything wrong or always putting the blame on someone else so you don't have to take responsibility for it is indeed a sign of laziness and immaturity.

But why am I telling you this? It's useless. I can't seem to get through to you. You never even listen. Whatever I say goes from one ear out the other as you try to make up yet another excuse, over and over again.

There is no excuse you can make now though. The project was canceled and has been canceled indefinitely for a while now.

I am not going to even bother replying after this. Make up whatever excuse you want, resort to your same BS and blame everyone else but yourself, I don't care anymore.}}

{{quotebox|Well, I WILL continue to Haunt, Pester and Bother you until the project becomes Uncancelled and Shelved for until I AM ABLE to make the trip. I will Haunt Your [[Dreams]], with [[God]] by my side helping me to do that.

And if you do not like it, well I Triple-[[Dog]] Dare you AND Mr. Miyamoto to come to my house in [[Virginia]] Yourselves, talk to me and my family, and settle the matter like it should have been, have I been able to AFFORD to make the trip in the first place. Or, you all can very well bring me, my family and friends to [[Charlottesville|Charlotesville]], Virginia Court to settle this under a court of law. I have a SLEW of friends and family who will help me in court, and even define my own personal character as a humble human being.

Peace, 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dare us? That doesn't make any sense. Why should we come to your house? For one, we have no business with you now, and even if we did, you'd still have to make an appointment and come to our office.

But it's too late for that. We've already found someone who knows how to take responsibility for himself and conduct himself in an appropriate matter, and we're giving the project over to him.

He calls himself [[Clyde Cash]]. He's a real stand up guy. Unlike you, he took the initiative to not only to schedule an appointment with us and arrive on time (exactly on time, right at the very second), but also showed us the utmost respect and humility. Not once did he ever lash out at us, or harass us like you have done so far.

Not only that, he showed us that he can take care of himself, he has the leadership qualities we look for in an employee of this company.

He is a self made man with a honest hard working job, two degrees in things actually relevant to our business (one in game design, the other in fine arts, both from prestigious universities, and apparently he has degrees in many other things, he's a real a jack of all trades) and he even plans on getting married and having a child soon (he showed me a picture of him standing together with his future wife, [[Sarah]]. They make a good couple).

I don't understand why you couldn't be more like this guy? I mean, he came here on time, he didn't even have to beg us for money (and he even refused our offer to reimburse him), he is independent and lives on his own (you'll never see him ask his "mommy and daddy" for anything) and above all else, he's just all around a great guy who knows how to get things done and kick ass and take names.

I mean, couldn't you at least be half the guy this guy is? Is that too much to ask? But it doesn't matter now, we've finally found the guy we're looking for and you're not needed anymore.

Anyway, I look forward to working with our new business partner (and now, employee, as I have promoted him to a senior game designer position) and I can't wait start working with him on this project.

Be on the lookout for it, because this is going to be good, very good, even better than anything you offered us, and honestly better than anything we've ever seen. This Cylde Cash guy, he's brilliant. I'm thinking he could easily become the next Miyamoto, or even better. But yeah, this is going to be good.

Even though you'll have no part in this, I'm sure you'll still be able to enjoy it once it comes out because something this good, I mean, it would be downright stupid to want to miss something like this. It's going to be amazing.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

{{quotebox|Clyde is NOT stealing my [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], is he?}}

{{quoteboxred|Sorry that's classified information.}}

{{quoteboxred|Dear Chris,

We sent a letter to you. I'm sure you heard from a man named [[Mike Chandler]] by now. It's true, Mr. Miyamoto no longer has an appointment scheduled with you, nor will we acknowledge any longer that he had any correspondence with you anymore. The project is dead and buried and all [[Nintendo]] employees have been told to never acknowledge that the project ever existed. 
I already told you before that the project was canceled due to your inaction. We will not accept any more unsolicited game suggestions or business requests from you. As we mentioned, Mr. Miyamoto does make occasional business trips to the U.S. (and your previous appointment, which has expired and been erased from memory, was one of those trips), but for now he is back in Japan where he usually spends the majority of his time.

Now that you have received the letter, consider the cancellation official. It was nice doing business with you, but we will not make any games or take any ideas you have into consideration nor will we make Sonichu the game or anything related to it.

Sincerely, 
Reggie Fils-Aime 
President 
Nintendo of America, Inc.}}

{{quotebox|And it is Official that YOU, Sir ARE an IMPOSTOR. You blatently croped and copied a piece of the letterhead from the letter I've uploaded onto my server, and you have obviously forged that signature.

I am Ceasing my contact with you at Your current E-mail address, as well as "Mr. Miyamoto"'s E-mail address, because You BOTH were IMPOSTOROUS [[trolls|TROLLS]]. So you can QUIT your Cherade, you bastards.

Christian C.}}

==See also==

* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009]]
* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009]]
* [[The Sonichu Chronicles]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Reggie Fils-Aime|Wikipedia article on Reggie Fils-Aimé]]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Fils-Aimé, Reggie}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

SonichuBabies

2010-10-27T21:18:58Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[File:11cfxgi.jpg.png|thumb|What the sonichu babies whould have looked like [[Chris and art|if Chris could draw]]]]

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''Muppet Babies'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. Much like [[Things Chris has ripped off|everything else he steals]], Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

Chris shows us his lack of understanding about what constitutes proper childcare by leaving the little creatures unattended. Showing that they aren't mature enough to be left alone for extended periods, the children [[Chris and sex|kiss]], watch TV shows meant for older audiences, ostracize Blake, and [[CWC Fighter|fight]] - Punchy even goes so far as to knock Wild out of a window, which could give Wild serious injuries.

This marks the first time Chris has actually done ''anything'' with his beloved Sonichu Characters since the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special.]] Much to the [[Trolls|fans']] chagrin, Chris has decided to take all of his characters and turn them all into [[Sonee & Rosey|the most annoying part]] of the CWCVerse.

It should be noted that this is the first time a Sonee of Blake has appeared, casting him as [[wikipedia:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]], despite the fact that there's nothing to compare the two together, much less the rest of the characters. Also note that Chris [[autism|has to describe Blake's personality in detail]].

Also worth mentioning is that ''Sonichu Babies'' was the name of one of the stories in [[Sonichu 3]], though it was an origin story for the Combo. Since the Chaotic Combo never met in the comics until they evolved, and since it is established in the comics that Sonichu, Rosechu and Blake were never sonees or rosees at any point (Sonichu and Rosechu were transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow and Blake was cloned) it's possible that this is not canon in the CWCVerse, or a complete retcon.

As a further testament to Chris's utter lack of imagination, the vignette featuring Young Rosechu and Young Sonichu features the same elements from his [[PlayingHouse|other short]] that was released the same day: The wife works as a journalist, while the husband stays at home and is supposed to take care of a crying and shitting baby but delegates the task to the older sibling.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J3IuXNk5_LU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''[Wild Sonichu and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do anything for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosee]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you were theeere... ''[As Rosee]'' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]'' Is everything alright in here? ''[As all [[sonichus]]]'' Yes Nanny!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey]'' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey! Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's [[Wild]], [[Bubbles]] ''[Blake appears instead of Bubbles]'', [[Punchy]] ''[Angelica appears instead of Punchy]'', [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings, speaks as Blake]'' Hello. What? I'm [[Christian Weston Chandler|the weird one]]. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though. ''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]'' Anyway, come with us, we'regoingtohavefun, whee! ''[Moves the two around without rhyme or reason]'' Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm. Ey Ro- ey Rosey we're jus' a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now? I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show. That what ya wanna do? Yeaah! Alright! ''[Makes the baby siblings "kiss"]'' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]'' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... The Young and the Restless... they been makin' out, all the time! They lot-ov-enjoying it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]'' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me. ''[Comic Chris' trademark sneakers join]'' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies? ''Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.'' Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries. ''Look how we settled that!'' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later. ''[Female legs leave]''

Alright children, y'all s- y'all be carefull out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''[Hastily grabs bunch of children in view]'' ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild, Rosey accidentally sneaks into frame]'' What's the matter, Wild? Iunno. Suddenly I just don't feel well. Well, and why is that? I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue! You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does! Yeah, what was that guy's name? Uhh... heck if I know! Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue! Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes. Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime. Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round. Okay! ''[Both move out of frame]'' Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]'' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armor! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You freakin' no good-- [interrupted by off-screen female voice] Would anyone happen to have a nail file on them? ...C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec I thought [unintelligible] on time because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]'' Hyeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty, she's so bub-b-ly, she's so fun. I'm just- b- I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets... left out. It's not because I'm- it's not because of my colour, it's just because I have my own opinions beside from theirs. I do things for myself. Sultimes I like to r- sometimes I like to read, even though I don't know how to read yet! I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. Ba-suh-I bring danger along some-I bring danger with me sometimes, and... that makes me sad. You know. They can't apprec-me- appreciate me even though I'm young and danger... [gibberish] ''[Enter Sonee and Rosee]'' ''Wubuh listen de- listen to Blake over der? Keep on going on and on with his own self! [unintelligible] again...'' Yeah, well he's talkin' to himself, huh. Well I dunno. Seems kinda weird. ''[As Blake]'' Oh will you shut up! We all talk to ourselves at one time or another! ''Sorry Blake!'' Yeah, sorry dude! Aah, whatever. ''[Blake saunters off]'' Hmm.

''[Angelica]'' All the lovely things we r- I read in the Bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna Bible. Good story. ''[Magi-chan]'' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica? ''Oh, this one, I'm reading about [[Genesis]]. The story of Adam and Eve!'' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten. ''YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.'' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there. ''Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women grew to power eventually.'' Yeah. ''[Awkward pause]'' ''Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.'' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday. ''An' Nanny takes us!'' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! [[Chris and religion|He's a good Christian, yes he is.]] ''So what you wanna do now?'' Let's go play with Legos! ''Okay! Wheeee! We're off to play with Legos!''

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]'' Hey Wild, you wanna spar a li'l? Okay Punchy! ''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]'' Huh. Got me there. ''[Wild "hits" Punchy]'' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW! ''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]'' Oh, shoot. I [[Mypoe|knocked him out da window!]] Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window! ''I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!'' I'm sorry. ''[Awkward silence]'' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. Cuz I gotta pull my punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery. ''Yeah.'' So, I'll do that. ''[Punchy comes forward]'' Because, [[Death threats|violence is not always the answer]] to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defense, it ''can'' be... the answer. ''[Wild moves in front of Punchy]'' ''I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' [[Clyde Cash|bully]] comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he [[Kick the Autistic|beats me up]]! What's wrong with that dude?'' D'ya want me to go beat him up? ''Nah, I just need to learn self defense.'' I'm gonna go find and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|beat him up]]. Hiyaaa! ''[Both launch out of frame, but Wild returns] Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. [Turns around once, leaves]''

''[Punchy re-enters]'' Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm [[Random-access humor|comical]], knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? ''[Pause]'' What? ''[Pause]'' Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching [[Officer Keino|Home Movies]] one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show with Brendon Small[?]. [[Sonichu 8|Not recommended for children]], though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. ''[Jiggles around]'' I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wirey! I couldn't go to sleep! ''[Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]''

''[Sonee and Rosee return]'' ''Okay so... What should we do now?'' I think let's go play House! ''Yeah let's go play House again!'' Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home. ''Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?'' It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks! ''Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, [[The Incredible Lioness|I struck them right back!]] And I stood my ground.'' ''[Pause]'' That's very good. How're the children. ''I think I just told you that. [She didn't.]'' Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal. ''Okay!''

''[Switch places]'' ''Hi honey, I'm home!'' Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at [[Jackie|journalism]]? ''Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.'' There was a v- there was a bank robbery? ''Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane[????]!'' Horse and mane? ''Sure, the horse was on the main!'' ''[Pause]'' What? Iunno. Go figure. Comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!'' Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the slow- I mean uh, the younger one [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pooped all over the place]]. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|aim it this way]], that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long. ''And I've been out journalism all day.'' Yeah. ''[Pause]'' Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. S- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired. Just waawaawaawaawaa. Waaa. ''[Pause]'' So the older one kept- kept the, uh- kept the younger one quiet, you know. At least she knew better. So, she calmed him down. ''That's good.'' I had to change a few diapers to- I had to change a whole number of diapers for that little one. What a mess. But I'm willing to go through with it, because I am the father! The house husband. ''And I'm the one that goes out, make the money.'' Okay. So. Wanna end the show. ''Why not?'' The puppet show. Alright. Yeah. Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Dudududududuh!

''[Feet come back into view]'' Dududududududuh! Duh duh! ''Thank you very much, goodnight!'' Goodnight.

==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

SonichuBabies

2010-10-27T21:18:37Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[File:11cfxgi.jpg.png|thumb|What the sonichu babies whould have looked like [[Chris and art|if Chris could draw]]

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''Muppet Babies'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. Much like [[Things Chris has ripped off|everything else he steals]], Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

Chris shows us his lack of understanding about what constitutes proper childcare by leaving the little creatures unattended. Showing that they aren't mature enough to be left alone for extended periods, the children [[Chris and sex|kiss]], watch TV shows meant for older audiences, ostracize Blake, and [[CWC Fighter|fight]] - Punchy even goes so far as to knock Wild out of a window, which could give Wild serious injuries.

This marks the first time Chris has actually done ''anything'' with his beloved Sonichu Characters since the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special.]] Much to the [[Trolls|fans']] chagrin, Chris has decided to take all of his characters and turn them all into [[Sonee & Rosey|the most annoying part]] of the CWCVerse.

It should be noted that this is the first time a Sonee of Blake has appeared, casting him as [[wikipedia:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]], despite the fact that there's nothing to compare the two together, much less the rest of the characters. Also note that Chris [[autism|has to describe Blake's personality in detail]].

Also worth mentioning is that ''Sonichu Babies'' was the name of one of the stories in [[Sonichu 3]], though it was an origin story for the Combo. Since the Chaotic Combo never met in the comics until they evolved, and since it is established in the comics that Sonichu, Rosechu and Blake were never sonees or rosees at any point (Sonichu and Rosechu were transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow and Blake was cloned) it's possible that this is not canon in the CWCVerse, or a complete retcon.

As a further testament to Chris's utter lack of imagination, the vignette featuring Young Rosechu and Young Sonichu features the same elements from his [[PlayingHouse|other short]] that was released the same day: The wife works as a journalist, while the husband stays at home and is supposed to take care of a crying and shitting baby but delegates the task to the older sibling.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J3IuXNk5_LU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''[Wild Sonichu and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do anything for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosee]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you were theeere... ''[As Rosee]'' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]'' Is everything alright in here? ''[As all [[sonichus]]]'' Yes Nanny!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey]'' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey! Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's [[Wild]], [[Bubbles]] ''[Blake appears instead of Bubbles]'', [[Punchy]] ''[Angelica appears instead of Punchy]'', [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings, speaks as Blake]'' Hello. What? I'm [[Christian Weston Chandler|the weird one]]. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though. ''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]'' Anyway, come with us, we'regoingtohavefun, whee! ''[Moves the two around without rhyme or reason]'' Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm. Ey Ro- ey Rosey we're jus' a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now? I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show. That what ya wanna do? Yeaah! Alright! ''[Makes the baby siblings "kiss"]'' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]'' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... The Young and the Restless... they been makin' out, all the time! They lot-ov-enjoying it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]'' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me. ''[Comic Chris' trademark sneakers join]'' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies? ''Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.'' Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries. ''Look how we settled that!'' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later. ''[Female legs leave]''

Alright children, y'all s- y'all be carefull out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''[Hastily grabs bunch of children in view]'' ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild, Rosey accidentally sneaks into frame]'' What's the matter, Wild? Iunno. Suddenly I just don't feel well. Well, and why is that? I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue! You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does! Yeah, what was that guy's name? Uhh... heck if I know! Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue! Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes. Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime. Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round. Okay! ''[Both move out of frame]'' Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]'' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armor! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You freakin' no good-- [interrupted by off-screen female voice] Would anyone happen to have a nail file on them? ...C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec I thought [unintelligible] on time because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]'' Hyeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty, she's so bub-b-ly, she's so fun. I'm just- b- I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets... left out. It's not because I'm- it's not because of my colour, it's just because I have my own opinions beside from theirs. I do things for myself. Sultimes I like to r- sometimes I like to read, even though I don't know how to read yet! I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. Ba-suh-I bring danger along some-I bring danger with me sometimes, and... that makes me sad. You know. They can't apprec-me- appreciate me even though I'm young and danger... [gibberish] ''[Enter Sonee and Rosee]'' ''Wubuh listen de- listen to Blake over der? Keep on going on and on with his own self! [unintelligible] again...'' Yeah, well he's talkin' to himself, huh. Well I dunno. Seems kinda weird. ''[As Blake]'' Oh will you shut up! We all talk to ourselves at one time or another! ''Sorry Blake!'' Yeah, sorry dude! Aah, whatever. ''[Blake saunters off]'' Hmm.

''[Angelica]'' All the lovely things we r- I read in the Bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna Bible. Good story. ''[Magi-chan]'' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica? ''Oh, this one, I'm reading about [[Genesis]]. The story of Adam and Eve!'' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten. ''YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.'' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there. ''Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women grew to power eventually.'' Yeah. ''[Awkward pause]'' ''Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.'' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday. ''An' Nanny takes us!'' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! [[Chris and religion|He's a good Christian, yes he is.]] ''So what you wanna do now?'' Let's go play with Legos! ''Okay! Wheeee! We're off to play with Legos!''

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]'' Hey Wild, you wanna spar a li'l? Okay Punchy! ''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]'' Huh. Got me there. ''[Wild "hits" Punchy]'' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW! ''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]'' Oh, shoot. I [[Mypoe|knocked him out da window!]] Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window! ''I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!'' I'm sorry. ''[Awkward silence]'' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. Cuz I gotta pull my punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery. ''Yeah.'' So, I'll do that. ''[Punchy comes forward]'' Because, [[Death threats|violence is not always the answer]] to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defense, it ''can'' be... the answer. ''[Wild moves in front of Punchy]'' ''I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' [[Clyde Cash|bully]] comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he [[Kick the Autistic|beats me up]]! What's wrong with that dude?'' D'ya want me to go beat him up? ''Nah, I just need to learn self defense.'' I'm gonna go find and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|beat him up]]. Hiyaaa! ''[Both launch out of frame, but Wild returns] Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. [Turns around once, leaves]''

''[Punchy re-enters]'' Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm [[Random-access humor|comical]], knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? ''[Pause]'' What? ''[Pause]'' Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching [[Officer Keino|Home Movies]] one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show with Brendon Small[?]. [[Sonichu 8|Not recommended for children]], though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. ''[Jiggles around]'' I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wirey! I couldn't go to sleep! ''[Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]''

''[Sonee and Rosee return]'' ''Okay so... What should we do now?'' I think let's go play House! ''Yeah let's go play House again!'' Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home. ''Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?'' It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks! ''Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, [[The Incredible Lioness|I struck them right back!]] And I stood my ground.'' ''[Pause]'' That's very good. How're the children. ''I think I just told you that. [She didn't.]'' Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal. ''Okay!''

''[Switch places]'' ''Hi honey, I'm home!'' Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at [[Jackie|journalism]]? ''Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.'' There was a v- there was a bank robbery? ''Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane[????]!'' Horse and mane? ''Sure, the horse was on the main!'' ''[Pause]'' What? Iunno. Go figure. Comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!'' Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the slow- I mean uh, the younger one [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pooped all over the place]]. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|aim it this way]], that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long. ''And I've been out journalism all day.'' Yeah. ''[Pause]'' Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. S- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired. Just waawaawaawaawaa. Waaa. ''[Pause]'' So the older one kept- kept the, uh- kept the younger one quiet, you know. At least she knew better. So, she calmed him down. ''That's good.'' I had to change a few diapers to- I had to change a whole number of diapers for that little one. What a mess. But I'm willing to go through with it, because I am the father! The house husband. ''And I'm the one that goes out, make the money.'' Okay. So. Wanna end the show. ''Why not?'' The puppet show. Alright. Yeah. Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Dudududududuh!

''[Feet come back into view]'' Dududududududuh! Duh duh! ''Thank you very much, goodnight!'' Goodnight.

==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

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2010-10-27T21:15:40Z

EtonpilfAnetah: Chris's soulless abominations

Chris's soulless abominations

Chris and anger

2010-10-23T16:40:42Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* Causes of Chris's anger */

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[[Chris]] has '''anger''' management issues. These usually surface when he is under [[stress]].

== Causes of Chris's anger ==

[[Image:Rawr_fag.jpg|thumb|A typical fit of tard rage.]]

Chris's issues with anger may stem from being tormented in his early childhood by his [[abusive babysitter]] whom he was frequently left under the care of while [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] would go out clubbin' and takin' shots. She allegedly traumatized Chris by locking him alone up in a room full of toys when he was a year old. [[Chris's room|How ironic.]]

Another person who may be behind Chris's anger issues could be his father, Bob. Being Bob's son, Chris would likely be afraid to retaliate to the things Bob does that annoy him, such as very rarely washing his hands, making Chris remove videos from "the damn Internet", and occasionally [[Bob walks in|cutting down the Internet]]. Chris then takes out his anger on innocent, well-meaning [[trolls]], such as [[Clyde Cash]].

Another cause of Chris's anger is the fact that as of the time of writing, as well as long after, Chris is still a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]]. Being a virgin seems to make Chris feel like he is entitled to being allowed frequent moments of rage and seeing as he only manages to [[masturbation|jack off]] twice a week due to his bent [[duck]], he has large amounts of [[semen|testosterone]] stored up in his body he just has to [[Recycling|get out]]. Sexual frustration can make even the best of us a bit cranky, though never to this extreme.

Furthermore, Chris is autistic and therefore cannot understand the social restraints of anger. When he gets angry he sees no reason why he should not go positively nuts. This and the amount of bottled-up stress that autism produces usually means that autistic '''children''' are very short tempered. Chris, however, is not an autistic child - he is an autistic adult, and to be honest most other autistics have learned how to cope with stress in ways other than tantrums by the time they are Chris's age. Chris has not. Somewhat ironically, Chris's autism seems to cause him a large amount of anger, since the rest of the world will not acknowledge the "brilliance" of ''Sonichu'' - which is apparently directly brought about from Chris's autism.

But the one thing that causes Chris's anger, more than anything, is the lack of control he has over everything. His own [[ego]] refuses to allow Chris to think of anything but himself, and when things spiral out of control, he gets frustrated. When [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob demanded that Chris take down the videos of their house]], Chris could only flail and tell him that he didn't know what to do, only to tell his "fans" to take it down for him. When [[Liquid Chris|someone pretends to be him]] and be more popular than him, he rages because he feels that its his popularity, not the faker's. When people [[Asperchu|poke fun at him]] or [[Mailbag 39|constantly question one's gender]], he goes into a hissy fit.

Chris's anger issues date back to before even the formal beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. In [[2000]], he was prescribed the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paxil]] to help manage his frustration and anger, and he continued to take the drug for several years Whatever effect his medication had, it clearly wasn't enough...

== Examples of Chris's anger ==

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The way Chris expresses his anger can be considered [[autism|confusing]], to say the least. In one of his early fits of rage he began to shout [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] at several [[jerkops]] who were trying to kick him out of a local [[Walmart]]. Most normal people do not shout [[Megan|anime]] references at people who are making them angry. Chris, however, expresses anger like a retarded Internet tough guy would do, taking out his anger on a video camera seeing as he knows it obviously can't and won't fight back. This can be seen in one of his videos on Clyde Cash where he seems to be "Hulking up". He also used to beat people up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''. On the other hand, even as he is seemingly scared from expressing his anger IRL, he seems to have outbursts when sufficiently pushed as well. Chris was at one point forced to take anger management classes sometime after his final confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. What happened during this epic struggle is only known in Chris's own words.

{{quote|"Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an anger management course and see a psychiatrist for a while. I was allowed back in."|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]}}

A great example of Chris's anger can be seen in one of Chris's most infamous videos, his "[[YouTube Finale]]". In this video Chris repeatedly threatens poor Clyde, claiming he will indeed [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|strangle him]] some day, even going as far as telling Clyde he will even commit this heinous and reprehensible act in a police station, showing Chris has no control over his angry feelings. The fact Clyde was only trolling Chris in an attempt to lash out at him for his role in the death of his late brother [[Ryan Cash]] shows even further how much Chris may still require a couple of anger management classes.

On several occasions, Chris has also shouted and screamed in videos, and concluded his argument with some sort of a heinous threat — and promptly followed this up with his trademark conclusion of saying "peace" and showing the peace sign, or with "Have a nice day", or something similar. Chris is apparently completely oblivious to the conflict between these extremes.

{{quote|I will be continuing my comics at the moment. But any FURTHER incident and not only will I STOP the comic, but I WILL go to the police. ALL RIGHT? Back the fuck off. Have a good day.|[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Chris will strangle that Clyde Cash]]}}

Occasionally when enraged, his tendency to type important words in ALL CAPS becomes more prominent. Compare these two emails from the [[Miyamoto Saga]]—the first sounds fairly calm, though he does let loose one all caps phrase. The second sounds more angry and possibly a bit desperate.

{{quote|Also, Please inform [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]], but I have just awoken Inspired [[Sonichu]]-Wise; I have figured out the Opening Title Movie for [[Sonichu's Adventure]], the Prequel Comic for the possible ''[[Pokémon Lightning]]'' Version, and the monitary-type collectibles in Sonichu's Adventure; NOT RINGS, but C-Quarters (the main money) and W-Quarters (equals 10 C-Quarters).|Chris explaining shit nobody cares about}}

{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have invested THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in [[Nintendo]] Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA. I have also attached My List of Video Games I have in my collection; 90 PERCENT of Which were ALL BOUGHT BRAND NEW while available in the stores during its MINT Availability. SURLY you can spot back about just under $800 for our Trip To Seattle in advance.|Chris on his knees begging for money so he can fly to [[Redmond]], citing his extensive collection of Nintendo games as reason why Miyamoto should fork over $700}}

Other examples of Chris's anger show him taking out his tard rage on his [[Clown Doll]]. In the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]] video a picture of Clyde Cash was taped to the doll and Chris beat it like a spoiled 3 year old who didn't get his way. He also attempted to rip off its head at one point, only to have it slide out through his greasy palms. Chris would attempt to bite the doll's head off again in the [[Sign Destruction Video]], but fans of the doll will be relieved to know that Chris is far too weak to break anything of value. In his video [[Chris Loses It]], Chris proves us that he's able to shred in half a small cardboard box but unable to go through light press-wood. The video also shows his poor acting skills only equal his overall stamina, since he's out of breath before the end of the first minute of the video.

{{quote|RRRAAAARRGGHH!!|Most of the monologue in the [[Chris Loses It]] video}}

Another recent example has shown that Chris can and will blow up at people even on the telephone. In his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris quickly became rude to Matthew, especially when the man came down on Chris for his health and his attitude. Even worse, when Chris [[Kacey and Liquid Call|talked to Kacey and Liquid]], he came up in arms over Liquid's continued referral of "Ian Brandon Anderson" and was completely oblivious over the fact that Kacey was getting upset over the entire thing. Even worse, Chris attempted to hang up on both Matthew AND Kacey, only succeeding with Kacey because he got [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] and dad in on the conversation. Both instances show that Chris loses his stammering and actually starts speaking normally when enraged.

Around the time when Chris opened the Mailbag to his [[Trolls|adoring fans]], another factor that causes Chris some notable grief was discovered: the mention of any similarity between high-functioning autism and [[Asperger syndrome]]. Chris has shown himself to be quite adamant that HFA and Asperger's are entirely unrelated, despite documentation by researchers suggesting quite the opposite. Whilst the anger related to this is of a far lesser magnitude in comparison to, for example, the Liquid Chris saga, it's still clear he's easily irritated by the mere mention of the matter:

{{quote|IF ANYTHING, the Asperger people ARE and HAVE BEEN NORMAL. They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such. THOSE Characteristics can be FAKED by them who are MOST NORMAL compared to us TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] article on Asperger syndrome}}

It's surprising at first how irritated Chris is by this matter. However, the CWCipedia article makes it clear that Chris is angry at Asperger's sufferers for "stealing" the limelight from autistic folks such as himself. He seems to be of the opinion that those diagnosed with the condition are faking it to get attention, [[Chris and his ego|attention that he feels he deserves as an autistic person.]]

==See also==
*[[Virgin with rage]]
*[[Death threats]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: Tardrage.png]] </div>

Autism

2010-10-23T00:50:16Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism */

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{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and generally irreversible; there is no cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, even the most casual of observers would conclude that Chris is basically non-functioning.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]]. The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.{{cite}} Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never had a real girlfriend, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite all this, though, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]], yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how an [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "God put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrating Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. [[Fail|This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results]].

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_white_woman_syndrome "Missing White Woman Syndrome"], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll|trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autstics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|left|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidenciary weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not Ian Brandon Anderson and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor Roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not lying off his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologers]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects.

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that-

'''a)''' He has it.

'''b)''' It's bad.

'''c)''' He's a brave little boy for living with it.

His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder. Per the lyrics: "A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!" To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a little smart and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality (lack of sex-drive) is very common in autistic people, this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "Love Quest" and suggests that he is probably trying to compensate for his inability to feel sexual attraction, even if that does mean becoming a pervert.

Chris considers himself to be of "the First Generation of Autistic People," suggesting that he believes the disorder did not even exist before him.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Aspergers Christian Weston Chandler's Opinion on the Autism/Aspergers Comparison.]</ref>

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he opined that our society is spending so much time on the internet that we're ''all'' becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This just went to prove that a) Chris has no fucking clue about his own disorder and b) people with no social contact should not attempt social commentary.

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents (Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived) are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations.

His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. After she locked him in a room by himself, he says, "I was very lonely, so I just sat there and cried, and... uh that's how my autism began."

In more recent years, Chris has backed off from that theory. During his arguments with [[Clyde Cash]] in [[Mumble 3]] from early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic," and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance he had an obvious agenda, though — he hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered on Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition — so it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at the time.

To muddy the issue just that much more, in [[Mailbag 12]], from December 2009, Chris blamed the cause of autism on "a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth," apparently in reference to the highly disputed controversy alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has an awareness of the facts and assertions of the case, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

===Chris versus Asperger's syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism (high-functioning or otherwise) with [[Asperger's syndrome]], a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times Chris has said that he dislikes Asperger's because advocates of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy from autism awareness. He's also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger's was the most effective way to troll him, culminating in the [[Asperchu]] saga. By now Chris just hates Asperger's because it reminds how angry he got the last time someone brought it up, so his hatred of it has become completely baseless. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a superior tier of social retardation.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism. Doubtless he picked this up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout elementary, middle, and high school. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

Responding to a letter in [[Mailbag 12]] asking for his advice on how to raise an autistic child, Chris said, "Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." In [[Mailbag 15]], when asked for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's," Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read from a lengthy printout of information he downloaded online about autism. After quoting a passage that talked about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken with the aid of trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, gib'em the special treatment while they're young...but when you geddem in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced him (i.e., ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows onto hell" and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Virgin with rage

2010-10-23T00:47:57Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

{{quote|Tell me why (I'm stuck as a virgin with rage) Tell me why (I so need a cute girl my age)|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' is [[Chris's]] description of himself, a catch phrase that he has made his very own. The term's origins stem from the fact that this [[Autism|retard]] is indeed a virgin (and will forever remain so). Rendered helpless by this condition, his eternal virginity engenders [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]].

Chris is very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brings up the subject completely unprovoked, even in casual conversation with somebody he has just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it's generally not a good idea to mention that he's a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris is probably dimly aware of his eventual fate, that he is destined to be a virgin forever. Obviously, this much repressed sexual drive, combined with the social ineptitude resulting from his [[autism]], means that Chris is ready to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI snap] at any point. Only [[mass debating]] keeps Chris from playing ''Counter-Strike'' IRL.

{{quote | Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself. |Chris, on how he could fly off the handle}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't: touching her hair, touching her shoulder, giving her random and unwanted hugs, etc. Chris even went so far as to corner her and try to kiss her.

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], January 10 at 12:28 a.m}}

Alba was doubtlessly traumatized.

==Public references to his virginity==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", which Chris recorded in August 2003, features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about [[Sprung]] from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from 2004 featured Chris's poem [[Saddest Heart in the World]], where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September 2004, Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *sigh*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Years resolution for 2009, announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman."
*While assaulting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 April 2009, Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from May 2009 includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 July 2009, Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the many obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 August 2009, Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 January 2010, a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 March 2010, features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

== Why Chris will never lose his virginity ==
<center></center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Why Chris-Chan will never lose his virginity
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hzI-dgGsnFU}}
| Stardate = 07 September 2009
| Maker = danicapayton
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and rape]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

100 2267

2010-10-16T14:42:51Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* See also */

[[Image:CWCash.jpg|thumb|Quality cosplaying is so overrated.]]

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris decides to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by making an overblown impression of him by dressing up in [[black]]face, as well as Clyde's characteristic hairstyle by slicking his [[hair]] back.

Chris starts off talking about how he has earned nothing in life before, all of a sudden, rambling about how he deserves to die and about how he raped [[Panda]].
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPsy3QwPiAo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

=== Transcription ===
[[File:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash is not amused]]
''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with "I GOT WHAT I DESERVE" on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an [[Chris and hypocrisy|adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot]] who spends his time wallowing and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]], and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Chris and English|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Chris and rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent_garbage|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]''
Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me, Clyde Cash! [[Death threats|Kill me now! Kill me now]], [[Chris and psychology|I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore! Aaaaah!]]
{{-}}

==See also==
*[[100 2269|Chris as Sgt. Pepper]]
*[[100 2270|Chris as Alec Benson Leary and Liquid]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2269

2010-10-16T14:42:03Z

EtonpilfAnetah:

[[File:paul-mccartney.jpg|thumb|Paul reacts]]
[[File:JohnFinger2.jpg|thumb|left|John Lennon is not pleased with Chris's faggotry.]]
'''100 2269''' is the second of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris has [[Gitar of Fail]] out again, but this time actually uses it to play The Beatles's "[[Wikipedia:A Day in the Life|A Day in the Life]]" on ''[[Wikipedia:The Beatles: Rock Band|The Beatles: Rock Band]]'', warbling tunelessly along with the track. He mentions Jackie at least once in the video, saying he will [[Rape|"turn her on"]], which is particularly notable because back in the '60s, to turn someone on was to get them into [[Tobacky|drugs]]. Chris is wearing what appears to be a poorly made replica of a Sgt. Pepper costume, crafted in construction paper.

Starting at about 1:00, the whine of audio feedback builds to its peak, rendering this section more pleasant and in-tune than the rest of the video. At 3:20, and again throughout the 'long note' (whose length seems to be too much for Chris to handle without [[stress]]), Chris's right arm jerks furiously on the Gitar's whammy bar - making it look exactly like he's [[mass debating]].

Considering that Chris has [[Chris and Music|never shown any interest in the Beatles]], and that in a [[Mailbag 14#He's a real Nowhere Man|mailbag]], he did not recognize the Beatles' names in a letter supposedly from Paul McCartney (as he had with the likes of [[Mailbag 26#In which Chris's brain starts to work!|Stephen King]]), it is reasonable to assume Chris did this for Jackie.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2269
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tGQjcZxXtZo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2267]]
| next = [[100 2270]]
}}

===Transcription===
[[File:128650737563.jpg|thumb|400px|[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian and the Beatle Boys]]]]
[[File:Mark David Chapman.jpg|thumb|Mark David Chapman killed one of the Beatles. Chris killed one of the Beatles' songs. Coincidence?]]

''[In a bad Cockney accent, instead of a bad Scouse accent which would be more accurate]'' Hello loves, good evening there. I'm Paul McCartney and I'm going to sing you a song. It's "A Day In The Life". And it is a good day. In the life. Yeah. It's a day for livin', it's a beautiful day over here in [[Virginia]]. Rock on [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|England]]!

''[Mic effect]'' Good evening, loves.

''[Starts playing on the gitar]''

I'll read the news today oh boy 
About a luucky man who made the [[Honor Roll|grade]] 
And though the news was. b.. rather sad! 
I just had to laugh 
I saw the photograph 
He blew his mind out in the car 
He didn't notice that the lights had changed 
A crowd of people stood and [[The Creepy Stare|stared]] 
[[Ego|They'd seen his face before]] 
Nobody was really sure... he from... House of Lords... the Lords

I saw a film today oh boy 
The English army had just won the war 
A crowd of people turned away 
But I just had to look 
Haa..ving read the [[How to Talk to Girls|book]] 

I love to tuuuurn youuu oon...

Woo...

''[Chris misses many notes in the solo]''

Woke- Woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across myy [[hair|head]]... 
Found my way downstairs and drank a [[Fanta|cup]] 
And looking up I had a tickle...uh...huh...huh (?) 
Found my coat and grabbed my hat 
Made the [[Sonichu%27s_Edge|bus in seconds flat]] 
Found my way upstairs and had a [[tobacky|smoke]], 
and Somebody spoke and said...eh...uh 

Aahhaaahhhhhahahaaaaaaahhh

I read the news today oh boy 
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire 
And though the holes were rather small 
They had to count them all 
Now they know how many holes to fill the Bert Hall 
I'd love to turn you on 

Yeah Jackie, [[For J-R's Eyes Only|I'd love to turn you on]] too girl. ''[Chuckles]''

''[Plays to the end, pointlessly hitting the whammy bar]''

[[Stress|Longest note you've ever heard, huh? I wish it would end already... Jeez, will ya end already ya dang note?]]

''[At 5:23 a high-pitched feedback noise can be heard, which lasts till the end of the video.]''

''[Goes to turn camera off]''

I'll spare you the sentiments.

==See also==
*[[100 2267|Chris as Clyde Cash]]
*[[100 2270|Chris as Alec Benson Leary and Liquid]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2267]]|nextlink=[[100 2270]]}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2270

2010-10-16T14:40:58Z

EtonpilfAnetah: /* See also */

'''100 2270''' is the third of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In it, he does a painful impression of [[Alec Benson Leary]] in a strange, nasal voice in an attempt to mock him. Half the time his insults are [[Chris and English|unintelligible]] and his [[South Park|Eric Cartman]]-like accent makes the problem even worse.

Chris appears to randomly switch impersonations to one of [[Liquid Chris]] about midway through the video without changing his voice at all. He also proceeds to beat the dead horse about not only how Alec put [[Homos|homosexual imagery in Asperchu]], but about how violent Asperchu can be. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|After all, we all know that Sonichu doesn't have]] [[Sonichu 10|gore, violence and needless killing of characters]], right?

Chris also claims Alec Benson Liquid is from [[Wikipedia:Philadelphia, PA|Philadelphia, PA]], and seems to base this on a phone call he received from a Blockbuster video location. However, neither Alec nor Liquid live in the vicinity.

Chris continues the trend of using construction paper props, making a facsimile of Liquid Chris's brown-striped shirt. The [[Asperchu Medallion]] makes a reappearance in this video.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2270
| video = {{#ev:youtube|l8ir2SbF5T4}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2269]]
| next = [[ECV 00001]]
}}

=== Transcription ===

''[Chris's face is partially obscured by darkness due to the lighting in his room. A large piece of cardboard with horizontal orange and grey stripes covers most of his chest. The Asperchu medallion is visible around his neck.]''

''[Odd voice]'' Ello, web! Dis is Christian Weston Chandler 'ere! But I'm no-I'm not really Christian Weston Chandler, and I'm not the creator of Sonichu because I live in Philadelphia! I was born in Philadelphia! At least as far as I know. [[Things Chris has ripped off|I don't have any originality]], or idea points because I never put up a page of myself! In real life, and still I only mock the real Christian Weston Chandler in Virginia-and now I am mocking Alec Benson Leary, ''[grabs Asperchu medallion]'' I am pretending to be Alec Benson Leary, oh look at me I'm Alec, [[Chris and Art|I draw teeeerrribly]], ''[mimes drawing]'' I draw everything in squares, I put [[homos]]exual images in the background, [[Death threats|I kill everybody!]] I put [[Sonichu_10#Forgiveness....3F|gore all over the floor]]- gore and blood all over the place, ''[flails arms and shifts from foot to foot]'' I killed the real Christian Weston Chandler, I even killed the origina-I even killed the second dude, who pretended to be the original!

''[pauses for breath]''

Anyway, I'm Christian Chandler, I live in Philadelphia, I also have girlfriend, her name is [[Kacey]], ''[more arm-flailing]'' except we're married now! And [[Chris and his ego|she coulda had the real Christian Weston Chandler]], who lives in Virginia, except I'm just a Christian Chandler who lives in Philadelphia! Now I'm sorry, [[Honor roll|I didn't mean Philadelphia, I meant to say Pennsylvania!]] Pennsylvania! But I pretended to be the original Christian Weston Chandler and rent movies from Blockbuster in Peennsylvaniaa! And the phone call was sent to the real deal, the real man in Virginia.

Yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yaddblahblahblahyahbahblahyablahlalalalalah!

''[Pause]''

[[Britney Spears|Hey baby hit me one more time!]] I done it from my head! Bye now!

==See also==
*[[100 2267|Chris as Clyde Cash]]
*[[100 2269|Chris as Sgt. Pepper]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2269]]|nextlink=[[ECV_00001]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]