https://sonichu.com/w/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=European+Qoheleth 2026-06-07T04:16:37Z User contributions MediaWiki 1.37.6 https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=300564 2022-12-21T22:16:05Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* Quotes */</p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article.<br /> {{infobox<br /> |title = European&amp;nbsp;Qoheleth<br /> |header1 = Information<br /> |label1 = Discovered Chris-chan through<br /> |data1 = Some wiki about crap webcomics (of which Sonichu was one mentioned)<br /> |label2 = Why I'm Here<br /> |data2 = [[Autism#Chris_and_other_autistics|A mixture of doing a Sister Sledge moment]] and morbid fascination<br /> |label3 = Date of Birth<br /> |data3 = [[1992|25 August 1992]] (age {{Age|1992|8|25}})<br /> |label4 = Gender<br /> |data4 = Male<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==Userboxes==<br /> {{Catholic}}<br /> {{AssBurger}}<br /> {{White}}<br /> {{Asexual}}<br /> {{Template:PS2}}<br /> {{Template:PS3}}<br /> {{Irish}}<br /> {{Wii}}<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan<br /> <br /> * &quot;I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.&quot;<br /> <br /> - [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] (Aptly the minister of taking names looks like Mr. Clifford; the economics man who also pours the cold water of truth on people.)<br /> <br /> * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMdK488P6yc</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Talk:Heather_Iglesias&diff=221573 2018-07-08T18:57:09Z

<p>European Qoheleth: </p> <hr /> <div>If Heather did appear, do you think she would be a rip-off of Consuela from Family Guy?--[[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 22:04, 2 May 2011 (PDT)<br /> <br /> Eh, noooooooooo [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 02:07, 3 May 2011 (PDT)<br /> <br /> Sounds to me like a Hispanic version of Aunt Jemima (she would be called Iglesias too, what a lack of originality.) --[[User:European Qoheleth|European Qoheleth]] ([[User talk:European Qoheleth|talk]]) 18:56, 8 July 2018 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Sonic X ==<br /> You think it is possible that she is inspired by Ella, a character from Sonic X [http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Ella]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and...&diff=219591 2018-05-01T04:41:43Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* Want to contribute? */</p> <hr /> <div>Chris has an opinion on almost everything, and through his catalog of videos and encounters with others, we've learned a lot about what these opinions are. '''The &quot;Chris and...&quot; series''' is where we take frequently occurring or significant topics and explain Chris's known views on them. This article will inform you on the series itself, contains an index listing all of the articles in alphabetical order, and has rules for contributing to the project. <br /> <br /> ==About the &quot;Chris and...&quot; series==<br /> <br /> The purpose of this series to inform people new to the Chris Chan bubble about what makes Chris who he is today. Chris and articles are broken up into six categories all of which make up Chris:<br /> <br /> '''Life''' - Articles related to parts of Chris’ everyday life<br /> <br /> '''Psyche/Personality''' - Articles related to Chris’ mentality and character <br /> <br /> '''Communication''' - Articles related to Chris’ means of communicating with other people<br /> <br /> '''Society''' - Articles related to Chris’ opinions on the world and people around him<br /> <br /> '''Business''' - Articles related to Chris’ knowledge of business and the industry <br /> <br /> '''Skills''' - Articles related to Chris’ “skills” and “talents”.<br /> <br /> == A-E ==<br /> <br /> === Anger ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and anger}}<br /> <br /> Chris has '''anger''' management issues that usually surface when he is under stress. Trolls refer to Chris's fits of rage as &quot;tard rage&quot;, an expression normally used to describe the seemingly superhuman strength a normally mild-tempered slow-in-the-mind displays when he or she is pushed too far and goes on an anger-fueled rampage. Although in Chris's case &quot;superhuman&quot; and &quot;strength&quot; can easily be replaced with &quot;impotent&quot; and &quot;bawling&quot;.<br /> <br /> === Art ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and art}}<br /> <br /> '''Art''' has been, and always will be, Chris's selling point. Ever since the very day Jason Kendrick Howell found out about Chris's creation of Sonichu, many people have taken interest in Chris because of his infamously bad artwork. Encouraging Chris to produce more of it remains a popular objective amongst trolls and weens.<br /> <br /> === Brand Loyalty ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and brand loyalty}}<br /> <br /> '''Brand loyalty''' is a consumer's commitment to repeatedly purchasing a product or service from a particular company or business. Companies use advertising, loyalty programs, product placement and contests to establish a brand which consumers will recognize, consider valuable, and seek out at the expense of other brands. Due to his difficulty separating reality and fiction, Chris tends to think an advertisement is a literal documentation of a product's effectiveness rather than an intrinsically biased attempt to lure consumers and, as a result of his sense of entitlement, he views winning games of chance as a validation of his self worth. These qualities, in combination with his rigid thinking, fear of change and attraction to routine, has led Chris to have intense brand loyalty for certain products as well as hatred for their perceived rivals. His loyalty even extends to areas that would not normally be considered &quot;brands,&quot; such as mental disabilities and sexual orientations.<br /> <br /> === Business ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and business}}<br /> <br /> Chris launched an online '''business''' in June 2014, selling custom arts and crafts through eBay. A year later, he moved shop to Etsy, under a brand titled &quot;Cwcville Shopping.&quot; He also began selling printed copies of Sonichu on Lulu.<br /> <br /> === Censorship ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and censorship}}<br /> <br /> As a result of his massive ego, Chris is very insecure about others' opinions regarding him and his work. This has led to him '''censoring''' out various comments and remarks from trolls and innocent bystanders alike.<br /> <br /> === Cinematography ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and cinematography}}<br /> <br /> Chris's approach to '''cinematography''' is all kinds of abysmal, whether we're talking about still photography or videos. Despite years and years of constant and obviously enthusiastic photography and home video making, Chris hasn't learned anything beyond the basics of this craft. In fact, the way he still routinely fucks up things proves that he is handling cameras far worse than your Average Joe...and as we've seen from what Chris has done to his PSEye, &quot;bad camera handling&quot; can be interpreted in 2 ways.<br /> <br /> === Contests ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and contests}}<br /> <br /> Ever since the early 1990s, Chris has entered a number of '''contests'''. Chris places great weight on his success and failure with regards to promotional contests. He becomes elated and sees victory as a indication of his own greatness when he wins, yet he becomes enraged and lashes out at the winners when he loses.<br /> <br /> === Copyright ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and copyright}}<br /> <br /> As with many things, Chris has a very limited understanding of '''copyright''' and of how it's enforced. He is vaguely aware of what it is: some sort of a legal right that creators of things have that lets these creators to tell others what they can and can't do – a very naïve view, though not entirely incorrect.<br /> <br /> === Cosplaying ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and cosplaying}}<br /> <br /> '''Cosplay''', short for &quot;costume play&quot;, is a type of performance art in which a person dresses up as a character or idea. The practice is commonly seen in the anime fandom, but can also be seen in other fan realms, such as video games and Star Trek. Chris was first seen in cosplay attire with the famous Ash Ketchum costume. Any attempts at cosplay are usually rare; however, a major wave of cosplaying by Chris, presumably to impress/amuse Jackie, appeared in late 2010.<br /> <br /> === Death ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and death}}<br /> <br /> '''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a human or an animal, or even a fictional character.<br /> <br /> === Ego ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and his ego}}<br /> <br /> '''Egotism''' is the most important and self-destructive of Chris's flaws. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing Kick the Autistic in real life.<br /> <br /> === English ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and English}}<br /> <br /> Chris's '''English skills''', like most other things he believes he's mastered, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his autism, which often results in awkward speech patterns.He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at James Madison University. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he's become older, presumably due to his increased isolation, which has affected his English in general.<br /> <br /> == F-M ==<br /> <br /> === Fashion ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and fashion}}<br /> <br /> Christian Weston Chandler has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to spend thousands of dollars on video games, toys, and sex dolls, Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like The Salvation Army and Goodwill. Prior to the Tomgirl Saga, the majority of shirts he owned were colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts, most of which were decorated with horizontal stripes, making him look even fatter.<br /> <br /> === Gender ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and gender|Tomgirl}}<br /> <br /> Similar to the topic of faith and the topic of morality, Chris's actual beliefs on '''gender''' and how it is classified are more complex than his stated beliefs. For someone so preoccupied with gender identity, Chris displays a staggering ignorance of how either gender typically behaves, and his views of both genders are extremely warped due to him taking the stereotypes he is presented with in television and music at face value.<br /> <br /> === Health ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and health}}<br /> <br /> Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his obesity, lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to bathe, and the grave uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, atherosclerosis, and possibly a premature death.<br /> <br /> === Hypocrisy ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and hypocrisy|List of Chris's lies}}<br /> <br /> '''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Chris is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and self-examination due to his autism (but on a more self-inflicted level, his ego). Chris believes that he is a blameless, holy creature that is practically perfect in every way. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him stress. He blames all of his problems on external factors like trolls, homos, conspiracies or the entire male population. In the past he's faulted the police, store managers and mall security guards for complications during his Love Quest. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.<br /> <br /> === Internet ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and the internet}}<br /> <br /> The '''Internet''' is a computational system that allows the transmission of data over long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown immensely since its first real conception in the 1980s as a means for the military, and later universities, to communicate with each other; it is said that about 3,300,000,000[1] people are connected to the Internet today. One of those people is Chris, the Internet's battered girlfriend who always comes back for more.<br /> <br /> === Journalism ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and journalism}}<br /> <br /> Throughout most of his life, Chris has been a subject of '''journalism''' and paparazzi, whether he's aware of it or not. His life is literally documented on the internet on sites like yours truly, the Kiwi Farms, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. The reason for this is due to his own stupidity to openly admit and display his most embarrassing moments at the most inopportune times. Sometimes, people will learn more about Chris' life by interviewing him, or he will flat out do something so embarrassing, people can't help but share it with someone else.<br /> <br /> === Kindness ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and kindness}}<br /> <br /> A lot of people that know a bit about Chris’ failures label him as an irredeemable monster due to his more malicious fails. Others view him as a naive but good-natured idiot that doesn’t deserve to be trolled. In reality, Chris’ morality and standards are much more complicated. Despite all of his moments of rage, death threats, lies, and...yuck, Chris does have a soft side, and he is not afraid to show it off. Due to Chris’ willingness to show how benevolent he is, and possibly due to what he’s watched on My Little Pony, Chris will be motivated to act '''kind''' towards most other people, even towards complete strangers.<br /> <br /> === Knowledge ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Honor Roll|Manchester High Leaks}}<br /> <br /> Chris's presence on the honor roll in high school is something he often brings up as evidence of his intelligence and his deep '''knowledge'''. Despite his insistence to the contrary, Chris's past behavior and obvious gullibility, poor communication and self-delusion cast doubt upon this claim. Chris likes to boast of his honor roll status wherever possible as it is one of the easily measurable accomplishments in his life.<br /> <br /> === Law ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and the law}}<br /> <br /> '''Laws''' are rules established by a society to protect its members and ensure the orderly function of society. Their observance is usually maintained by law enforcement and penalties are placed on those who disobey the laws. For Chris, however, these just serve as another deterrent in his endless quest for china and a weapon with which to threaten his real and supposed enemies.<br /> <br /> ===Mathematics===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and mathematics}}<br /> <br /> '''Mathematics''' (&quot;math&quot; or &quot;maths&quot; for short) is the study of quantity, numbers, space, and change. Calling Chris's mathematical ability &quot;bad&quot; is putting it lightly, even though he claimed honor roll status. There are many examples of his mathematical errors, including errors of basic arithmetic, as well as quantity, measurement, weight, and time. His poor grasp on math and measurement is a sign of dyscalculia, a common symptom of autism.<br /> <br /> === Money ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and money|Financhu Crisis}}<br /> <br /> Chris has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle '''money''' or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, his greed and selfishness, his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. Too lazy to work, he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.<br /> <br /> === Music ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and music}}<br /> <br /> Chris's taste in '''music''' is eclectic, confusing, and awe-inspiring. His favorite acts range from generic 2000s teen pop, to '70s hard rock. Pretty much everything Chris says he's a fan of comes from Guitar Hero, Rock Band, his parents' record collection, or stuff he's heard from television and film--and even then, Chris can't remember lyrics, melodies, or even the instruments used in his favorite songs. He also enjoys music so much, he is turned on by the concept of it.<br /> <br /> == N-Z ==<br /> <br /> === Negotiation ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and negotiation}}<br /> <br /> When dealing with Chris, trolls often experience a unique form of '''negotiation'''. Due to a severe sense of entitlement, a lifetime of coddling and other factors beyond his control, Chris has no grasp of how to compromise, and often fails to understand what sort of bargaining position he's in.<br /> <br /> === Nostalgia ===<br /> <br /> {{Main|Chris and nostalgia}}<br /> <br /> === Oration ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and oration}}<br /> <br /> Whenever Chris wants to make an argument regarding his opinions or his childlike mindset, one way he’ll attempt to move people is through '''orating''' his reasoning onto them. Since Chris lacks some of the basic skills needed to make an effective speech, rarely ever plans out anything he makes, has serious communication problems, and never does research, his speeches always turn out lackluster at best and horrifyingly naive at worst.<br /> <br /> === Politics ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and politics}}<br /> <br /> In recent years, Chris has been quite vocal about his '''political views'''. He was once a moderate, and then shifted left. During the Tomgirl Saga, he shifted further left. His progressing support of LGBT may have been why he has been more vocal about politics.<br /> <br /> === Psychology ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and psychology}}<br /> <br /> Chris has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist in grade school while his screams were recorded (almost certainly a lie), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of Piedmont Virginia Community College. Chris has refused to see a psychologist in the past, opting to see a pastoral counselor instead. However, during his trial in July 2012, he was ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment and evaluation. Only time will tell if this will finally force Chris to accept the help he needs, or ultimately accomplish nothing more than draining what little remains of Chandlers' already depleted funds.<br /> <br /> === Race ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and race}}<br /> <br /> '''Race''' is a thing that Chris has shown a variety of feelings for; unfortunately, they are not always in a positive light. It is believed by some that Chris's racist tendencies can be traced at least partially to his Southern U.S. heritage. However, certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes.<br /> <br /> === Reality ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and reality}}<br /> <br /> '''Reality''' is the universe from which Chris is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves his room. Quite a bit of his sketchy worldview can be attributed to his autism, as autistic people generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and conspiracy theories.<br /> <br /> === Religion ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and religion}}<br /> <br /> The '''religion''' of Christian Weston Chandler is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often starkly differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil. That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naïve hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he long espoused his religion's teachings condemning homosexuality yet ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, pornography, and gluttony.<br /> <br /> === Remorse ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and remorse}}<br /> <br /> Every so often, one of Chris's less flattering deeds catches up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris tries to come off as emotional, often feel very forced and insincere, leading many trolls to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.<br /> <br /> === Sex ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and sex}}<br /> <br /> Chris has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. hanky-panky) as well as gender, mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the twisted, disjointed worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as &quot;educational&quot;.<br /> <br /> === Sexism ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Women's rights|JERKS}}<br /> <br /> === Sexuality ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Homos|SLGBTQ}}<br /> <br /> === Socialization ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and socialization}}<br /> <br /> === Spanish ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Spanish}}<br /> <br /> === Speech ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Speech Impediment}}<br /> <br /> === Stress ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and stress}}<br /> <br /> === Television ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and television}}<br /> <br /> === Video Games ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Video games}}<br /> <br /> === Writing ===<br /> <br /> {{Template:Main|Chris and writing}}<br /> <br /> == Want to contribute? ==<br /> <br /> Is there an important aspect of Chris’:<br /> <br /> * Life<br /> * Psyche/Personality<br /> * Means of Communication<br /> * Opinions on Society <br /> * Knowledge of Business<br /> * Skills<br /> <br /> that we have missed? Is there an already existing article that you feel should be a Chris and… article? Feel free to contribute a new “Chris and…” article to the Cwcki. This doesn't go without a few rules though.<br /> <br /> If your topic:<br /> <br /> * Isn’t part of one of the six categories listed above<br /> * Has already been explained in other Chris and… articles<br /> * Doesn't result in an article of decent length<br /> * Is too narrow (Topics such as Chris’ Autism)<br /> * Was derived from sheer speculation <br /> * Hasn't been drafted<br /> * Hasn't been discussed with the editors of the CWCki. <br /> <br /> then bugger off, we’re better off without your shitty article.<br /> <br /> However, if your topic follows all of the criteria, then here are the steps you must take after you've created your article:<br /> <br /> * Add the name of your topic to this[[Template:Chris and text| template]] in the correct spot. (Be mindful that all of the topics are alphabetized and categorized) <br /> * Add a fitting emoji on the side of the name of the topic, don't forget to add the &amp;nbsp after the emoji. (This step is optional) <br /> * Refresh the main page so that your topic appears in the template.<br /> * Add your topic onto this page<br /> <br /> {{Chris and}}</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_and_gender&diff=219590 2018-05-01T04:39:32Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* Non-binary genders */</p> <hr /> <div>{{Dated}}<br /> <br /> {{quote|When I feel like totally grossed out with even an image of a penis, and recalling and focusing on a vagina image in my mind usually works|Chris&lt;ref&gt;[[Misc texts#Desiree Delightful]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> [[File:CWC gets kicked.jpg|thumb|Chris's gender issues in a nutshell.]]<br /> <br /> Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]] and [[Chris and kindness#Chris is Good-Natured?|the topic of morality]], Chris's actual beliefs on '''gender''' and how it is classified are more complex than his stated beliefs. For someone so preoccupied with gender identity, Chris displays a staggering ignorance of how either gender typically behaves, and his views of both genders are extremely warped due to him taking the stereotypes he is presented with in [[Chris and television|television]] and [[music]] [[Autism|at face value]]. <br /> <br /> == Females ==<br /> <br /> Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women &quot;empathetic&quot;. But, as stated at the beginning of the article, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has [[Chris and socialization|always preferred female friends]], and is known to be far more accommodating of [[Chris and sexuality|lesbians than gay men]], even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, Chris views females as [[Sex tape|hyper-sexual]], [[Mall|preoccupied with shopping]], [[Animal Crossing Documentary|given to conversing with others for hours]], and fixated on [[PlayingHouse|getting married and having children]]. This is highly evident in his female characters in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. As a matter of fact, In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure. [[Rosechu (character)|His Rosechu character]] who is a living embodiment of how Chris believes all women behave, has a &quot;personality&quot; which consists solely of the traits listed above, which is considered ironic as Chris constantly tries to show Rosechu with a passion for [[Women's rights|Women's Rights]]. Despite trying to portray them as being equal in power to their [[Sonichu (species)|male counterparts]], Chris rarely depicts [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] fighting, more often simply leaving them on the sidelines of a battle to wail like damsels in distress, even when their boyfriends are in mortal danger. Even outside battle, they tend to be little more than organic sex toys for the Sonichus.<br /> <br /> == Males ==<br /> <br /> Chris has harbored a deep hatred for [[JERKS|men]] ever since his teenage years, because he was bullied in grade school (largely because of his bloated [[ego]] making him extremely annoying to be around), not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is getting some]] and he isn't. This gradually blossomed into a general distaste for masculine traits such as body [[hair]]; indeed, in his [[nudes]] it is apparent that he is surprisingly meticulous in shaving his body hair, certainly compared to [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|other aspects of grooming]]. He also has stated, as shown in this [[04232010 - Autism Awareness &amp; Men Should NEVER be Topless|video]], a disgust for &quot;topless men&quot; and [[Brassieres For Males|encourages men]] to wear [[muscle bra]]s so he doesn't have to see their nipples. He even made a (now somewhat outdated) short list of the men he doesn't consider &quot;jerks&quot;, which included himself, his [[Bob Chandler|father]] and [[Santa Clause]] ''&lt;nowiki&gt;[&lt;/nowiki&gt;[[Chris and English|sic]]&lt;nowiki&gt;]&lt;/nowiki&gt;''.<br /> <br /> Since becoming a &quot;tomgirl&quot;, Chris's misandry has not abated. In recent years he has variously referred to men in general as &quot;barbarians&quot; and &quot;Neanderthals&quot;, which, coming from him, are rather ironic accusations for [[Death threats|a]] [[14 Branchland Court|number]] [[Chris and racism|of]] [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|reasons]].<br /> <br /> == Transvestism and transgenderism ==<br /> It has been speculated for a long time that Chris has had gender issues. In 2005, he created [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], which is widely believed to be a result of his autogynephilia, the fetish of seeing oneself as female. In [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], he mentioned that you should try out the opposite gender's toys while keeping your original gender in mind, possibly indicating that he may have been in denial about transgenderism long before becoming a tomgirl. He also wondered what he would be like if he were born a female.&lt;ref&gt;[[Mailbag 27]] - Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> In April 2011, [[Tomgirl Pictures|photos]] were leaked by [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] showing Chris dressed in women's clothes. Soon after Chris announced he was a &quot;Tomgirl&quot;. Chris being a tomgirl has resulted in him wearing [[Chris and fashion#Chris's Tomgirl Fashion Sense|feminine clothes]], a brief attempt at [[Un-clit|piercing his taint]], and growing long hair. Despite this, Chris still rigidly maintains he is attracted solely to women.<br /> <br /> There is still speculation as to why he has done this. Chris may have believed that joining the female community would aid his Love Quest, which naturally it hasn't, and indeed, any sensible person can see that identifying as a lesbian actually shrinks his pool of potential sweethearts, given that lesbians are a minority group.<br /> <br /> However, Chris has recently made several telling statements that indicate he believes that he can use his gender confusion to his advantage. For example, on various occasions, Chris has made statements to the effect of him being [[Chris and reality|&quot;compatible with all women&quot;]], or that he can [[HelloLadyFans|&quot;go any way [a woman] desire[s]&quot;]]. Statements like these show that he believes that by identifying as a female while remaining biologically male he can appeal to women of all sexualities, although it remains unclear if this is his main reason for crossdressing, or indeed whether it was a premeditated reason for it at all, or merely an idea he came up with later. <br /> <br /> However, being transgender does not stop him from prejudice against other transgenders; during his quest against [[Jeff/Francine]], who is also trans, Chris calls her a &quot;pretty little lady-man&quot;, a &quot;he-she&quot;, and even &quot;Mistress Jeff&quot; showing that even years into his transformation into a Tomgirl, Chris is still Chris.<br /> <br /> ==Non-binary genders==<br /> <br /> {{quote|&quot;I really did not know how many genders there are, but I am not and do not judge. Have a good day.&quot;|Chris' beliefs on Non-Binary Genders}} <br /> <br /> Given how complicated of a topic gender is to tackle, especially today, people will tend to argue about what classifies as a &quot;gender&quot; and therefore some people might argue that there exists more than two. In Chris' case, believing everything he sees without giving it a second thought, also concluded that there really are more than two genders simply looking at a Facebook post about how Facebook is allowing their users to identify themselves as 58 different genders on September 17, 2016, [[Naïve|taking it to mean that there are in fact 58 genders]]. &lt;ref&gt;https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-9-17-chris-on-fb-genders.24327/&lt;/ref&gt; The next month, Chris is interviewed on the same topic, and is asked how many genders there are, and simply says there are 58 all because of that same Facebook post. &lt;ref&gt;https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-9-17-chris-on-fb-genders.24327/page-10#post-1804218&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ==In the comic==<br /> <br /> [[File:Christinecomicdrawing.jpg|200px|thumb]]<br /> [[File:CCSonichu1.jpg|200px|thumb|ELECTRIC SEX CHANGE POWER! PEW!]]<br /> <br /> Chris, already conflicting with his own gender identity, also decided to give his avatar in the Sonichu comics the same exact characteristic since [[Sonichu 11]]. Once again, despite looking completely different from his real-life counterpart, decides to draw his avatar with the traits he's always desired since becoming a tomgirl, such as bigger breasts and wider hips, revealing very much of what kind of results Chris wishes to get simply from watching [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] on [[Youtube]] instead of saving up his [[money]] to get a sex change. <br /> <br /> Likewise, Chris decided to change his [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] form to a female Sonichu form. The only real difference between Chris' old form and his new form is that his newer form has added breasts; a functioning vagina, uterus, and ovum; eyelashes; the trademark female Pikachu tail; and the color of his shoes change from black and white to turquoise and lime green. At this point in time, Chris-Chan Sonichu's species is highly questionable, given how Chris never implied that his new form was, in fact, a [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], and instead refers to it as simply a &quot;female Sonichu form&quot;, and the character is still called Chris-Chan Sonichu. Even though Chris has suggested renaming the character &quot;Chrissy-Chan Roeschu&quot;, it still begs the question as to why Chris hasn't decided to make his new form into a Rosechu in the first place, seeing how female Sonichus theoretically don't exist and that Rosechus are essentially the female counterpart of Sonichus. And despite giving the character the new and more logical name, he never implied that he'd do a redesign on the character itself to give it Rosechu traits.<br /> <br /> == See also ==<br /> *[[Chris and fashion]]<br /> *[[Chris and sex]]<br /> *[[Muscle bra]]<br /> *[[Tomgirl]]<br /> *[[Unclit]]<br /> *[[Women's rights]]<br /> <br /> == References ==<br /> &lt;references/&gt;<br /> <br /> {{Chris and}}<br /> <br /> [[Category:Chris and...]]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder&diff=219427 2018-04-24T03:57:08Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* Prologue */</p> <hr /> <div>{{DeadLinks}}<br /> <br /> &lt;!--{{timelinetop<br /> |size = 250<br /> |start= 2005<br /> |end = 2008<br /> }}--&gt;<br /> {{Articleofthenow}}<br /> {{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}<br /> {{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.<br /> I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view&lt;ref&gt;[[Megan emails, 2008]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> {{infobox<br /> | title = Megan&amp;nbsp;Schroeder<br /> | image = [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px|center]]<br /> |header1 = Information<br /> |label1 = Name<br /> |data1 = Megan Schroeder<br /> |label3 = Date of Birth<br /> |data3 = 23 July 1986 (age {{Age|1986|7|23}})<br /> |label4 = Gender<br /> |data4 = Female<br /> |label5 = Nationality<br /> |data5 = [[United States|American]]<br /> |label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]<br /> |data6 = White<br /> }}<br /> <br /> '''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) is a former [[gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship with anybody he's ever had in his life.<br /> <br /> Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against her, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Borb]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]] about her scheming with [[Michael Snyder]] to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe. Chris's attempted contacts with Megan have dragged on as late as [[2017]], making the Megan Saga both the first and longest in Christory.<br /> <br /> ==Timeline==<br /> [[Image:Megan_Timeline_Prototype.png|1000px|center]]<br /> <br /> ==Prologue==<br /> {{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}<br /> {{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}<br /> [[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]<br /> <br /> {{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian&lt;ref&gt;[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]], even claiming to be [[Chris_and_sexuality#Asexuality|asexual]]. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself. <br /> <br /> Megan and Chris first met at The GAMe PLACe in summer 2004, over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games]] marketed to preteens. It only took [[Third date|a few games]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:<br /> <br /> {{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}<br /> <br /> Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would obsess over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.<br /> <br /> Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...<br /> <br /> ==Megan Saga==<br /> <br /> ===Sailor Megtune===<br /> {{Main|Sailor Megtune}}<br /> <br /> Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:<br /> <br /> {{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}<br /> <br /> In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') soon made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly &quot;[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]&quot; and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on the &quot;art&quot; of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[anime]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.<br /> <br /> [[Image:SchuComic6Page50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]<br /> <br /> Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris [[Ego|critiqued]] some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualized manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did [[retcon]] a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.<br /> <br /> ===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===<br /> {{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}<br /> {{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}<br /> <br /> {{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}<br /> <br /> In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and use the trip offered in the contest to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, and Megan didn't care. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.<br /> <br /> ===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===<br /> {{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}<br /> {{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}<br /> <br /> {{quote|And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]]&lt;ref name=&quot;secondmessage&quot;&gt;[[CWC's Second Message]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man crusade [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|pornographic and lewd]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering Megan]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of incestuous desires by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.&lt;ref&gt;[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on 18 March 2008.]]&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref name=&quot;secondmessage&quot;/&gt;<br /> <br /> By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured. On 21 [[April 2008]] Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore,&lt;ref&gt;[[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore]]&lt;/ref&gt; thus putting an end to their friendship.<br /> <br /> Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress '''the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her''', and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring.&lt;ref&gt;[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED]]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.&lt;ref&gt;[[Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;A]]: &quot;Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added].&quot; This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&amp;A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.&lt;/ref&gt; Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the [[CWCipedia]].&lt;ref&gt;[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan+Schroeder Megan]: &quot;When I started getting too close, [Megan] started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual.&quot;&lt;/ref&gt; It might very well be that ShecameforCWC was the last step in euthanizing a dying relationship, rather than killing a vibrant and living one.<br /> <br /> ==Aftermath==<br /> {{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, &quot;I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC&quot;}}<br /> <br /> {{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian, <br /> &quot;I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC&quot;}}<br /> <br /> Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 [[2008#June|June 2008]], Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being &quot;forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. [[Michael Snyder|Mike]]&quot;. Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside [[The GAMe PLACe]].&lt;ref&gt;&lt;[[Chris emails 2008#June]]&lt;/ref&gt; <br /> <br /> Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC &quot;Boyfriend&quot;]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]. Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After &quot;...my friend Megan!&quot;, Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.<br /> <br /> On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|&quot;leave her alone&quot;]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan, though it was most likely a troll posing as her seeing as she had cut off all ties with him.<br /> <br /> On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him &quot;I Love You&quot; comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).<br /> <br /> {{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her &quot;I love you&quot; before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, &quot;[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]&quot;}}<br /> <br /> In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named &quot;Gal Pal&quot;), showing that he still can't let go.<br /> <br /> === Chris's version of events ===<br /> On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.<br /> <br /> {{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...<br /> <br /> Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&amp;H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.<br /> <br /> &quot;I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.<br /> <br /> When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.<br /> <br /> I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own &quot;information&quot; to shut it down.<br /> <br /> Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.<br /> <br /> I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}<br /> <br /> In the months and years after his &quot;breakup&quot; with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed &quot;I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan.&quot;<br /> <br /> However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, &quot;I still miss her sometimes.&quot; In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, &quot;I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''&quot;<br /> <br /> ==The Blame Game==<br /> <br /> === Origins ===<br /> [[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: JERK.]]<br /> The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and &quot;some [[homos]]exual[s]&quot; to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan &quot;lied&quot; about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.<br /> <br /> It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a &quot;possible troll&quot;.&lt;ref&gt;[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2#26 July]]&lt;/ref&gt; His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to give him access to it. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another white female brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].<br /> <br /> === Chris Doxes Megan ===<br /> <br /> A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the &quot;Hate and Smear Campaign&quot; against Chris:<br /> <br /> {{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|February 18, 2012]]}}<br /> <br /> In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.<br /> <br /> [[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris' retarded attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]<br /> <br /> On 4 April [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be &quot;jailed and beaten up&quot;, describing her as a &quot;vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,&quot;&lt;ref&gt;[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]&lt;/ref&gt; a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a 20 July 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.&lt;ref&gt;[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]&lt;/ref&gt; Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.<br /> <br /> === Megagi La Scapegoat ===<br /> <br /> Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:<br /> <br /> {{quote|If it had not been for Mr. &quot;Manajerk&quot;, Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT &quot;SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS &quot;R&quot; TO &quot;SAILOR STAR&quot; THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}<br /> <br /> [[File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|thumb|left|Megan's fate as a Lego voodoo doll. Notice her goth style clothing.]]<br /> On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Daniel Mimms about Megan's current whereabouts. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.&lt;ref&gt;[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]&lt;/ref&gt;&lt;ref&gt;[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...]]&lt;/ref&gt; Of course, the notion that Chris can perform [[Wikipedia:Sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]] to harm his enemies is [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|befitting]] with his [[Chris and reality|other delusions]]. Chris would continue to use this Lego minifigure of Megan as a totem to relieve his anger for her, and it appeared a month later &quot;in detention&quot; at [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego Manchester High]].<br /> <br /> On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is &quot;deeply distrustful&quot; and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] &quot;powers&quot; were &quot;revoked&quot; by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous &quot;wrongdoings&quot; by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]<br /> <br /> {{quote|<br /> You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.<br /> <br /> By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.<br /> <br /> ...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}<br /> <br /> Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading &quot;NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!&quot;, possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the &quot;theft&quot; of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.<br /> <br /> {{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}<br /> <br /> === Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===<br /> <br /> Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen.<br /> <br /> {{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. &quot;Christian is so weird. &quot; &quot;Tell me about it.&quot; &quot;He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh.&quot; &quot;I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out.&quot; &quot;I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder.&quot; &quot;I just want to ban him from &quot;MY&quot; store forever.&quot; &quot;I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!&quot; &quot;Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them.&quot; &quot;Yeah! Chris will be banned from &quot;YOUR&quot; store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!&quot; &quot;&quot;HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!&quot;&quot;<br /> <br /> I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}<br /> <br /> Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.<br /> <br /> ==Years later==<br /> {{quote|I just say let her, wherever she is, live her life, and I'll just stay here, liv- living mine. It's all done and over with.|Chris, finally moving on}}<br /> <br /> On 26 January 2016, in the [[CatKnight Interview 2|second CatKnight interview]], Sir Arthur Spatchcock brought up the topic of Megan and the [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|grudge]] [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#Pissed off|Chris]] [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#Damn You|had]] [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#Address|against]] [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#GAMe PLACe revelations|her]]. Chris claims that he has finally gotten over that grudge, wishing for her to be left alone to live her own life.<br /> <br /> In February 2017, Chris looked up and browsed through Megan's Facebook account,&lt;ref&gt;[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Found Megan's Facebook]]&lt;/ref&gt; sharing one of her drawings to his own account. When asked by [[Kim Wilson]] if they were friends again, Chris responded:<br /> <br /> {{quotebox|Not quite; I just gone through my past and recent sent friend requests, found Megan Schroeder, and I liked her cover photo; it's cute. She has a few cute dogs too. At least, she's doing okay; as far as I can tell.}}<br /> <br /> The act of searching for his ex-[[gal pal]] came just four days after Chris posted about his feelings of nostalgia for his &quot;friends&quot; from [[Manchester High]].<br /> <br /> In October 9th, 2017, Chris once again looked up Megan's Facebook for her online store and left a comment on it:&lt;ref&gt;https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Facebook_posts#Complimenting_Megan_Schroeder&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> {{quotebox|I just wanted to tell you I like your craft and are. You have become a lot more talented over the years. Many blessing to you and your family. 🌸}}<br /> <br /> The post was later removed.<br /> <br /> ==Gallery==<br /> <br /> ===Art by Megan===<br /> &lt;center&gt;&lt;gallery&gt;<br /> Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]<br /> Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon<br /> Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings are quite obviously traced from the same source.<br /> Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as &quot;Canino the Houndhowl&quot; in the [[Wedding Comic]].<br /> Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg<br /> Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg<br /> Image:321-IceCune.jpg<br /> Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg<br /> Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|&quot;Ace of Clubs&quot; ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.<br /> Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu|Yoshimitsu]] drawing, made in [[1990s|1996]].&lt;ref name=&quot;tekken forces&quot;&gt;[https://web.archive.org/web/20091012030656/http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php Tekken Forces Fanart Gallery]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|''[[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|Powerpuff Girls]]''-style Yoshimitsu&lt;ref name=&quot;tekken forces&quot;/&gt;<br /> &lt;/gallery&gt;&lt;/center&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Etsy shop===<br /> <br /> {{quote|All of my artwork and materials are proud to be &quot;Made in China&quot; free!!|Megan Schroeder, June 2013}}<br /> <br /> <br /> [[Image:Meg.jpg|thumb|Megan on her Etsy page]]<br /> On 15 June 2013, Megan Schroeder created an [https://www.etsy.com/people/OutOfTheWildFelts Etsy] account to sell her artwork of animal dolls wearing flowery attire. She claims that her artwork is &quot;Made in China&quot;-free, and her materials she uses for her dolls are made in Japan, the USA, and Europe. She has gained a love for nature over the years after the events of the Megan Saga, and is seen in her profile pic to be wearing a photographer's camera, indicating that she could be a photographer.<br /> [[Image:Megwithdog.jpg|thumb|A photo of Megan with a dog from her Etsy]]<br /> {{clear}}<br /> <br /> ===Art of Megan===<br /> &lt;center&gt;&lt;gallery&gt;<br /> Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg<br /> Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg<br /> Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)<br /> Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg<br /> Image:305-ACMegan.jpg<br /> Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg<br /> Image:307-MegSch.jpg<br /> Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg<br /> Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].<br /> File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...<br /> File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|[[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Megan.<br /> File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|He keeps it upside down to torture her.<br /> File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|When he feels REALLY angry, he shakes it.<br /> File:Meganfight 26.jpg|Chris victorious over the evil bitch.<br /> <br /> &lt;/gallery&gt;&lt;/center&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Miscellaneous===<br /> &lt;center&gt;&lt;gallery&gt;<br /> Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG<br /> &lt;/gallery&gt;&lt;/center&gt;<br /> <br /> ==References==<br /> {{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}<br /> &lt;references /&gt;<br /> <br /> {{-}}<br /> {{MeganSaga}}<br /> {{People}}<br /> {{Love quest}}<br /> <br /> {{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}<br /> [[Category:Gal pals]]<br /> [[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]<br /> [[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]<br /> [[Category:Megan Saga|*]]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Tito_Got_No_Luck_Against_We_Brits,_Irish_and_Scots!&diff=219426 2018-04-24T03:26:16Z

<p>European Qoheleth: </p> <hr /> <div>{{Honest}}<br /> {{quote|Surfshack Tito started this Lingering Heartache Chaos! I will take him down Personally!|Chris, blaming someone's else for [[The Wallflower|his mistakes]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|again]].}}<br /> <br /> [[File:Chrischanpantsu.jpg|thumb|Right|I see London, I see Greece, I see Chris's [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]!]]<br /> <br /> '''Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!''' was uploaded by Chris early in the morning of 14 [[March 2010]]. Chris is angry with [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]], blaming him for causing a rift between Chris and [[The Wallflower]]. He then proceeds to threaten Tito by putting on a Scottish kilt, showing him his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]], shouting in such a bad Scottish accent that it's [[Chris and race|insulting]], and being completely incompetent with a [[pocket knife]]. <br /> <br /> It should also be noted that seeing as Chris is annoyed that the personal details of the Wallflower have been leaked to the Internet, it would only make sense in his continuing parade of fail that he should drop her name. ''Twice''. Furthermore, the very next video he released features her pen name '''in the title''', which is exactly how the trolls identified her in the first place.<br /> <br /> It is also worth noting that &quot;Brits&quot; is an all-encompassing term for anyone from the [[Wikipedia:United Kingdom|United Kingdom]], which ''includes'' [[Wikipedia:Scotland|Scotland]] and [[Wikipedia:Northern Ireland|Northern Ireland]], as well as [[Wikipedia:England|England]], [[Wikipedia:Wales|Wales]], and a number of outlying territories and islands. This video was released shortly before St. Patrick's Day, which does something to explain the Celtic vibe of the video. Unfortunately, this also implies an [[Naive|ignorance of the]] [[Chris and race|differences between the Scottish and Irish peoples]], of which there are many. He also leaves Wales out entirely; which is ironic, since it's one of ''very'' few countries on the planet that includes people able to naturally pronounce his dumb abbreviation. However, in a case of [[Honor Roll|dumb]] luck that he couldn't have possibly intended, Ireland's Call, the song playing in the background, is actually an anthem for the united Ireland [[Chris and fashion|rugby]] team, created to be inclusive to both Irish Catholics and Northern Irish Protestants, who are mostly of Scottish descent.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{-}}<br /> <br /> ==Video==<br /> {{Tardrage}}<br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> | name = Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!<br /> | video = {{#ev:youtube|znfqwbnepXc}}<br /> | stardate = 14 [[March 2010]]<br /> | subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}<br /> | style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}<br /> | saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}<br /> | shirt = {{TanWideLines|text}}<br /> | previous = [[Don't Mess With Me]]<br /> | next = [[&quot;Damian Antaria&quot;, PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|&quot;Damian Antaria&quot;, PLEASE, &lt;br/&gt;Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!]]<br /> }}<br /> <br /> {{quote|Ach, ye wee laddy. You not gonna get me lassy today.}}<br /> <br /> === Transcript ===<br /> [''[[Wikipedia:Ireland's Call|Ireland's Call]] is playing on the background.'']<br /> <br /> TITO. Listen to me, you son of a bitch. Your--[[Death threats|your days are numbered]]. I have forwarded your admission...to...[the Wallflower], and also the awesome [[gal-pal]] that we know between us, our [[Scarlet]]. And with great honor and glory, I will take pleasure in [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|beatin' up your ass]]...and also...regain th--regain the love...and trust and friendship...of [the Wallflower].<br /> <br /> Either way, you are going down, Tito. 1 way... [''Chris does a horrifyingly [[CWC Fighter|high kick]] wherein [[Butt garments|we can see his underwear quite clearly]].''] {{RageQuote|'''''2 ways'''''...}} [''He then fiddles with a knife for a good 8 seconds.''] ...or 3! [''He puts the knife on a desk off screen.'']<br /> <br /> [''Chris begins badly imitating a Scottish accent and standing effeminately with one hand on his hip.''] Ach, ye wee laddy. You not gonna get me [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|lassy]] today. [''Chris comes closer to the camera and diverges into an accent somewhere between Scottish and Jamaican.''] I kick yo' ass with me [[Wikipedia:shillelagh|shillelagh]]! [''He fails to produce a shillelagh. Chris then holds up his right fist to display his [[high school ring]].''] And mah ring, man!<br /> <br /> ==See also==<br /> *[[Death threats]]<br /> *[[Surfshack Tito]]<br /> <br /> {{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Don't Mess With Me]]|nextlink=[[&quot;Damian Antaria&quot;, PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!]]|}}<br /> {{Troll Videos}}<br /> [[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]<br /> <br /> <br /> [[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2010| 2010-03-14]]<br /> [[Category:Surfshack Tito Saga videos| 2010-03-14]]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Chris_in_the_media&diff=219422 2018-04-24T02:40:11Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* VideoGameDunkey */</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:The truth about cwc.jpg|thumb|right|Just you wait.]]<br /> {{see also|Sonic the Hedgehog#References to Chris}}<br /> <br /> [[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Whether it be [[Chris and television|television]], newspapers, magazines or, of course, [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], if Chris can find some way to get his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.<br /> <br /> ==Traditional media==<br /> ===''Richmond Times-Dispatch''===<br /> {{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}<br /> <br /> In 1993, the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from &quot;Christopher&quot; to &quot;Christian&quot;. This was Chris's first known appearance in media.<br /> <br /> ===Sonic the Hedgehog Watch &amp; Win Sweepstakes===<br /> {{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch &amp; Win Sweepstakes}}<br /> <br /> Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in [[1994]] chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.<br /> <br /> ===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===<br /> {{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}<br /> <br /> In [[1999]], Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 years old at the time, and he was playing [[Pokémon]] cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].<br /> <br /> ===''Nintendo Power'' Magazine===<br /> {{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}<br /> <br /> Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's ''Animal Crossing'' video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.<br /> <br /> ===[[Shoujo Beat]]===<br /> {{main|Shoujo Beat}}<br /> <br /> Chris sent a letter to an [[anime]]-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonesome virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.<br /> <br /> ===''Daily Progress''===<br /> <br /> ====2007====<br /> [[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|Admit it, if you've never heard of Chris before, would you think that they were actually referring to a 25-year-old man here?]]<br /> <br /> On 14 [[July 2007]], Chris and Barb were mentioned in their local newspaper, the ''Charlottesville Daily Progress''.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/rummage-sale-goes-all-year/article_8364fd1b-b1cf-5902-91f9-d05a19a0453d.html&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> {{quotebox|The line began forming outside the door around 2 p.m., three hours before the SPCA's new rummage shop in Charlottesville opened for a special sneak preview Friday.<br /> <br /> By 4:45, nearly 50 people were waiting in line, while about 30 volunteers inside put the finishing touches in place.<br /> <br /> &quot;I've got my eye on the riding mower right there,&quot; said Barry Ross as he stood at the head of the line, looking through the window at a red tractor.<br /> <br /> And right behind Ross, Christian and Barbara Chandler were waiting to shop. Christian wanted toys and video games, while his mother wanted to look for fabric.}}<br /> <br /> ====2017====<br /> <br /> [[File:Dailyprogress print cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in his [[unicorn cosplay]].]]<br /> <br /> A decade later, on 16 [[September 2017]], Chris was photographed by ''Daily Progress'' staff at a [[Cville Pride]] event.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.dailyprogress.com/gallery/cville-pride-festival/collection_58055de6-9b2a-11e7-b098-83d0250a47fb.html#tncms-source=endcard-gallery&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> {{clear}}<br /> <br /> ===Toucher and Rich===<br /> {{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}<br /> <br /> On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio podcast in [[Wikipedia:Boston|Boston]]. The whole media furor was sparked by the &quot;[[I Got A Fish]]&quot; video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&amp;audioId=3705145]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Kevin and Bean===<br /> {{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}<br /> <br /> One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts [[Wikipedia:Kevin and Bean|Kevin and Bean]]. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .<br /> <br /> ===''Web Soup''===<br /> {{main|For G4s Web Soup}}<br /> <br /> Once again, Chris's &quot;[[I Got A Fish]]&quot; video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]], only to belatedly realize after he uploaded an entire video about it that shows like ''Web Soup'' are devoted to mocking people like him.<br /> <br /> ===Save McIntire Park===<br /> {{main|McIntire Park}}<br /> <br /> In [[July 2009]], Chris briefly appears in the background of a news segment about saving McIntire Park, [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]. Later, Chris receives recognition at a council meeting for drawing a large sign.<br /> <br /> ===''Slylock Fox''===<br /> [[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|If you didn't know who Chris was, would you think anything of this?]]<br /> <br /> On 25 September 2011, ''[[Wikipedia:Slylock Fox &amp; Comics for Kids|Slylock Fox &amp; Comics for Kids]]'', a comic strip about comic strips published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image&lt;ref&gt;[http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif]&lt;/ref&gt; of [[Sonichu]] in the &quot;Your Drawing&quot; panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: &quot;Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9.&quot; The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the Comics Curmudgeon blog&lt;ref&gt;[http://web.archive.org/web/20130508181808/http://joshreads.com/?p=10951]&lt;/ref&gt; that he fully believed that the &quot;artist&quot; was 9 (rather than 29) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.<br /> <br /> ===Opie &amp; Anthony===<br /> {{main|Opie and Anthony}}<br /> <br /> On 27 [[May 2009]], ''[[Wikipedia:Opie and Anthony|The Opie &amp; Anthony Show]]'' on [[Wikipedia:Sirius XM Radio|Sirius XM Radio]], which was broadcast to 18.5 million units, [[Opie and Anthony|did a commentary segment]] on Chris's video response to drinking his own [[cum]] and shitting his adult diapers. It is unknown whether he's realized that his [[autistic]] antics have technically been broadcast to low earth orbit.<br /> <br /> ===''Houston Press''===<br /> On 12 [[July 2012]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Houston Press|Houston Press]]'' published an article on Rex Nabours III of defunct folk punk band Guwange and his attempts to raise money for sick children. Nabours was quoted in the article saying &quot;I did a Christian Weston Chandler (the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' guy) [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian &amp; The Hedgehog Boys|covers album]] earlier this year with the intent of giving any money I made off of it to Autism-related charities because the dude is basically [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]] for autism&quot;.&lt;ref&gt;http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2012/07/rex_nabours_extra_life.php&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===''Failosophy'' ===<br /> {{Deletedvideo}}<br /> [[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Featured pic]]<br /> <br /> MTV's show ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]'' mocked Internet idiots like Chris. While the show lasted a mere 3 months due to negative reception, one of his [[Tomgirl]] pics memorably and unsurprisingly showed up in the 4th episode of the show, viewed by almost a million people. Jump to 0:26 for his appearance.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Chris-Chan on MTV's Failosophy<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|Hqy4scnj1EI}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> Chris, unusually, gave a response via [[Facebook]].<br /> <br /> {{quotebox| I had no ill will against MTV. I enjoyed the women in &quot;[[Wikipedia:Undressed|Undressed]]&quot;; I like [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]; the [[Dating education|dating game show]] was fun to watch, and to put them way at the bottom, [[Beavis and Butt-head|Beavis and Butt-Head]] were [[Christian Weston Chandler|so stupid, it became crazy-funny]].<br /> <br /> I have been the victim of Trolling/Cyber-Bullying for the past greater than five years. I get that whatever gets onto the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] is near impossible to remove.<br /> <br /> And now I find that among the shit I was trolled of, this ONE photograph, which was originally taken for a WOMAN years ago, gets compared with a literal meat-head and a plush-head, and is made available on iTunes for two dollars!<br /> <br /> From the one woman's words, Jamie Lee... I don't know what is worse, that she would not date me, or that she would put me in jail over a freaking couch. Lee, My Once Good Name was actually Jailed, because of the SET UPS those Anonymous, LULZy, Shit-Faced TROLLS. [[Chris and reality|At least I was more clean, sexy and gung-ho than either of the ugly, grimy freak shows I was compared with.]]<br /> <br /> If I did not have a very good day beforehand today, I would seriously be [[Chris and the Law|calling my Attorney]] on your damn show's ass.|[[Christian Weston Chandler]], after 950,000 people saw him on ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]''.}}<br /> <br /> To this day, Chris has not followed up on this threat of legal action. The episode with Chris in it also remains available on iTunes.<br /> <br /> ===WCAV-TV===<br /> {{main|Destruction of Chris's House}}<br /> A local TV broadcast gave a brief report on the [[Destruction of Chris's House]].<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> | name = Fire at 14 Branchland Court<br /> | video = {{#ev:youtube|qkYnMRh26Oo}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===''New York'' Magazine===<br /> On 19 [[July 2016]], [[Wikipedia:New York (magazine)|''New York'' magazine]] featured an article on its website, [http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/07/kiwi-farms-the-webs-biggest-community-of-stalkers.html &quot;Kiwi Farms, the Web's Biggest Community of Stalkers&quot;]. The article was meant as an attack on [[CWCki Forums|Kiwi Farms]], inaccurately describing it as a vague group across [[4chan|mult]][[/cwc/|iple]] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|web]][[Twitter|sites]] instead a single forum community. However, in describing the site's origins and operations, it largely focuses on Chris himself and the &quot;torment&quot; he faced from [[trolls]] during his internet heyday. There is also a mention of [[A-Log]] and his fallout with other Christorians.<br /> <br /> The article is notably one of the few pieces of [[White knight|positive press]] Chris has received since his rise to internet fame. In addition to attacking his trolls, the author, Margaret Pless, describes him in sympathetic terms such as &quot;[[Chris and art|artist]], [[Video games|gamer]], and [[Sonichu (comic)|creative type]]&quot; and fails to mention [[Chris and anger|his]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|horrific]] [[Chris and race|opinions]], [[Death threats|statements]], [[28 October 2011|or]] [[26 December 2014|actions]]. Pless is also under the impression that Chris is legitimately [[Tomgirl|transgender]], and accordingly refers to him as &quot;Christine&quot; and with female pronouns.<br /> <br /> ===''Sonic Boom''===<br /> [[File:Mark tapir.jpeg|thumb|250px|Chris finally meets his hero.]]<br /> On 10 [[December 2016]], an episode of ''[[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]]'' called &quot;The Biggest Fan&quot; premiered on Cartoon Network. The episode features a character named Mark the Tapir that parodies the ''Sonic'' fanbase. Mark is depicted in the episode as a creepy, obsessive stalker who kidnaps Sonic and forces him to act out fanfiction that he wrote. While the character is likely intended as a general parody, he appears to have been heavily inspired by Chris in particular. He closely resembles pre-tomgirl Chris, and one scene seems to reference the &quot;blue arms&quot; debacle. Mark even orders an [[April 16 Fetish Vids|orange soda]] during one scene, though this is probably an unintentional reference.<br /> <br /> Chris [[December 2016 Facebook posts#Sonic Boom parody|acknowledged]] the parody on December 13, 2016. He stated that he saw no resemblance between himself and the Mark character, and that he is &quot;[[Chris and reality|not mental or crazy like that at all]].&quot;<br /> <br /> The episode's writers, Doug Liebilch and Bill Freiberger, responded to questions on Twitter about the episode. Liebilch said that [https://twitter.com/DougLieblich/status/808080337859293184 &quot;He's not based on anyone specific. Just an obsessive fan character.&quot;] Freiberger also denied that Mark was based on Chris, and unlike Liebilch, he knows who Chris is, saying [https://twitter.com/BillFreiberger/status/809087510156410880 &quot;Mark is 100% NOT based on CWC. He is a general fan type. We've done many blue arm jokes in the series. Not a clue.&quot;]<br /> <br /> ===UVA Remembers Pulse===<br /> <br /> {{main|UVA Remembers Pulse}}<br /> <br /> On 12 [[June 2017]] Chris was interviewed at this event, quoted on text and video, by the same station which had interviewed him decades earlier for the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch &amp; Win Sweepstakes]].<br /> <br /> ===Newsradio WINA===<br /> [[File:Pride-Festival-2017-at-Pavilion-091617-CC.jpg|thumb|200px]]<br /> Chris was photographed at [[Cville Pride]].&lt;ref&gt;http://wina.com/news/064460-pride-festival-happens-in-new-venue/&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> {{-}}<br /> <br /> ==Major Internet media==<br /> ===''Honest Game Trailers''===<br /> Three minutes into the video, Chris is brought up as an example of the horrors of the [[Sonic]] fandom, particularly showcasing [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)]]. Less than a minute later, Sonic is jokingly referred to as Sonichu.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (Honest Game Trailers)<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|TR7r4PlNeOY}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Fark.com===<br /> The Internet portal [[Wikipedia:Fark|Fark]] linked to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> {{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on [[the internet]] has been found|A Farker}}<br /> <br /> ===Heavy.com===<br /> Chris tops the site's list of ''20 Worst Internet Losers'', posted 13 [[July 2010]].<br /> <br /> {{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. Christian Weston Chandler, aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about [[the Internet]] made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Borb|parents]], sponges off the [[Monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [https://web.archive.org/web/20170619153926/http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}<br /> <br /> ===Harry Partridge===<br /> [[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|&quot;Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it.&quot; -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]<br /> Animator [[Wikipedia:Harry Partridge|Harry Partridge]] (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which is a drawing of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu ]&lt;/ref&gt; An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short &quot;Nicolas Cage Wants Cake&quot;, a musical remix of a scene from ''[[Family Guy|The Family Man]]''.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA]&lt;/ref&gt; In the animated short &quot;Skyrim&quot;, [[Son-Chu]]'s &quot;SONICHU&quot; license plate can be seen in the background during the first scene.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY]&lt;/ref&gt; In the Followup, &quot;Song of Skyrim&quot;, Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd &lt;ref&gt;[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsqiSknjHK8]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> Harry himself has commented on [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]]'s upload of the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] song &quot;[[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]&quot;, jokingly stating &quot;I want this played at my funeral.&quot;<br /> <br /> When interviewing Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos (from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is &quot;obsessed with him&quot;:&lt;ref&gt;[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> {{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}<br /> <br /> During an episode of SleepingCabin, it was revealed that Harry actually contacted Chris to ask him if he wanted to work on a game together, in witch Chris denied saying that Harry animation style wasn't that good at all, despite many considering Harry to be one of the best animators online. The reason why he wanted to work on a game with Chris is unknown to this day, whether it be for trolling or cause he actually wanted to.<br /> <br /> ===''Atop the Fourth Wall''===<br /> Comic book reviewer Lewis [[Sonichu &amp; Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|Lovhaug]] (a.k.a. &quot;Linkara&quot;) goes on a brief tirade in his 99th video &quot;Top 15 Things I Will Never Review&quot; about ''Sonichu'' on the subject of webcomics at the 24-minute mark.&lt;ref&gt;[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Linkara Discusses Sonichu &amp; Chris-Chan<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|mDfRk0qt5HQ}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> {{quote|&quot;But wait,&quot; the internet cried back, &quot;let me tell you about the horror that is called...Sonichu!&quot; Yes, people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I ''hadn't'' heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara, speaking for everyone who has ever become aware of Sonichu.}}<br /> <br /> While he'd previously made the point that he wouldn't review webcomics in general, Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' in particular because he didn't want to acknowledge it further. He describes Chris as a &quot;[[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|creepy stalker]]&quot;. Towards the end of the episode, a character tries to pressure Linkara into reviewing ''Sonichu'' before Linkara settles on reviewing a ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' comic for his 100th episode. At the end of the video, he uses &quot;Weird Al&quot; Yankovic's &quot;Do I Creep You Out?&quot; as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.<br /> <br /> ===RayWilliamJohnson===<br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= =3 - I will end you!<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|q2jERPp3Z0w}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> {{quote|Wait a minute, did he just say he recycles his...HOLY SH*bleep*IT! Oh, that is some NASTY sh*bleep*t, oh, oh GOD!|Ray, representing pretty much anybody who saw the video for the first time}}<br /> <br /> In an early episode of ''=3'' (pronounced &quot;equals three&quot;), vlogger Ray William Johnson made fun of Chris's habit of [[recycling]] his [[navy]]. Though he never gave Chris's name, referring to him rather inaccurately as &quot;your average ''[[Captain's Log|Star Trek]]'' fan&quot;, he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. Jump to 2:09 in the linked video.<br /> <br /> ===BlackBusterCritic===<br /> Chris has been on the BlackBusterCritic's Sonic Brainfart's videos where BBC highlights the points of Chris' wrongdoings. Jamin also has a part two of the series, but it is unknown what happened to it.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= SonicBrainFart Christian Weston Chandler Chris chan Part 1 1 2 <br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|jgSweXQcZvY}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> <br /> ===Something Awful===<br /> Something Awful is comedy website where Chris was first revealed to the world on October 26, 2007.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Sonic the hog<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|pIKTFNTBM_0}}<br /> |subject= Reupload by Owldof Hootler<br /> }}<br /> <br /> The last episode of [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]]'s “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> Also, the first episode of The Flash Tub's &quot;Gaming Guyz&quot;, while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[medallion]], and how Sonic cured his autism in Part 12.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===SpliceToday.com===<br /> An article&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler]&lt;/ref&gt; posted on 6 January 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.<br /> <br /> {{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his [[kitchen]] microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}<br /> <br /> ===Nicole Richie's twitter===<br /> On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] posted on [[Twitter]]&lt;ref&gt;[http://twitpic.com/s7pfi]&lt;/ref&gt; an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].<br /> <br /> ===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu===<br /> On 13 [[January 2012]], two [[Sega]] of America employees corpsed in one of their &quot;Free Stuff Friday&quot; videos when one talked about a Super [[Sonic]] plush they were giving away and the female called it &quot;Sonichu?&quot;. While this is not [[TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu [[Jimmy Hill|merchandise]], it shows that at least some Sega employees are aware of Sonichu's existence. Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> Chris saw the video and [[List of Christian's comments on Youtube|commented]], ''I do not find that commentary funny at all. In fact, I feel pissed off to be ridiculed soo lightly.''&lt;ref&gt;[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube#SEGA's Free Stuff Friday-January 13, 2012]]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Maddox===<br /> Internet comedy writer [[wikipedia:Maddox (writer)|George &quot;Maddox&quot; Ouzounian]], best-known for his website [http://maddox.xmission.com The Best Page in the Universe], critiqued Chris's [[:File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog]] on one of his side-projects, [http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com I Am Better Than Your Kids], as one of many children's drawings to help promote his novel of the same name. Like most other works on the site, Maddox gave the drawing an F. &lt;ref&gt;[http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/?p=117]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Cvillepedia===<br /> On a wiki dedicated to Charlottesville culture and &quot;celebrities,&quot; he has what can only be described as a tongue-in-cheek article.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.cvillepedia.org/mediawiki/index.php/Christian_Weston_Chandler&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Cracked.com===<br /> [[File:CWccracked.jpg|thumb|200px|#22 on Insane Subcultures.]]<br /> Chris showed up on [[Wikipedia:Cracked.com|Cracked]]'s front page as #22 on 9 [[April 2014]] as part of &quot;25 Insane Subcultures You Won't Believe Actually Exist&quot;.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_859_25-insane-subcultures-you-wont-believe-actually-exist/]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Smosh===<br /> Chris's Sonic Totem statue was featured one Smosh's site, via the 'Smosh Pit' section which mostly contains articles, countdowns, and memes. It was listed in the [http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/people-who-tried-crafts-pinterest-and-totally-nailed-it?_rtu=TFS6IVnISRKfI2Vc%2BgJJHA%2B '22 People Who Tried Crafts On Pinterest and TOTALLY NAILED IT'] article.<br /> <br /> ===IMDb===<br /> Chris has his own IMDb entry page. To date he only has two credits, both in the &quot;archive footage&quot; category; the aforementioned ''=3'' video, and the later WTFIWWY segment.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ IMDb page]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Bruva Alfabusa===<br /> Alfabusa, a YouTuber well-known for his Warhammer 40000 themed videos and &quot;If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device&quot; series. In the 11th episode of the series, towards the end, the God Emperor of Mankind implied how he lived one of his past lives as Chris. <br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device - Episode 11: Intervention<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|xgmGITyOSRo}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> {{quote|&quot;...Or when I spent 50-something years as an overweight, mentally unstable manchild creating [[Sonichu|grotesque crossbreeding products out of already existing characters owned by different companies]], in the hope of having mankind realise that their ways are faulty so they would pick up the [[Heart Torch of Fail|torch]] and head for the future rather than sitting idly by and engage in pettiness, superstition, gluttony, and hatred for one another. That plan was genius. Too bad people were too fucking stupid to find the enlightening messages hidden in all those [[List of Videos|holo-recordings]] I made.&quot;| The God Emperor of Mankind, reflecting on his actions during his life as the manchild we know today}}<br /> <br /> ===Filthy Frank===<br /> On October 8, 2014, popular YouTuber Filthy Frank uploaded a video deriding [[anime|weeaboos]], using an image of Chris as an example in his song about them; he can be seen at 10:08 in the video.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= WEEABOOS<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|OFQQALduhzA}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Wii U Daily===<br /> The website Wii U Daily (now known as Nintendo Today) has an article on the [[GameStop]] incident that occurred on [[26 December 2014]].&lt;ref&gt;[http://wiiudaily.com/2014/12/man-maces-gamestop-employee-over-sonic-boom/ Man maces GameStop employee over Sonic Boom | Wii U]&lt;/ref&gt; Chris eventually found the article, then proceeded to go on a long rambling on Facebook on why the writer should respect him and his terrible ways--even going as far to call the writer a horrible male, despite the writer being ''fe''male.<br /> <br /> ===Reddit===<br /> There is an entire subreddit on the popular website Reddit entitled &quot;r/cwc&quot;, which is predictably all about Chris and his shenanigans. Eventually, however, it was later set to private mode and cannot be viewed unless you are a moderator or approved submitter.<br /> <br /> On 23 [[September 2014]], the subreddit r/shittykickstarters linked to Chris's [[Kickstarter]] project for getting Legos.<br /> <br /> On 1 [[January 2015]], the Wii U Daily article about the 26 December 2014 incident was linked to another subreddit, r/rage.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.reddit.com/r/rage/comments/2r0kyh/man_maces_gamestop_employee_over_sonic_boom/ Man maces employee over Sonic Boom: rage]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> On 1 [[September 2016]], a post which promised a new Chris [[saga|story]] every day of the following month was submitted to the r/CringeAnarchy subreddit.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.reddit.com/r/CringeAnarchy/comments/50q2rb/announcing_chris_history_month/ Announcing Chris History Month! : CringeAnarchy]&lt;/ref&gt; The subreddit's background image was replaced accordingly with the [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|classic picture of Chris]] [[creepy stare|staring creepily into the void]].<br /> <br /> ===SleepyCabin===<br /> Sleepycabin is a podcast hosted by many famous internet animators including OneyNG, Psychicpebbles, Stamper, and Spazkid. <br /> On 14 December 2014, Spazkid, creator of ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu the Animated Series]]'' described his fascination with Chris, how he began trolling in 2007, and why he ultimately regrets doing it, even though he doesn't hesitate in calling him a retard and being aware that Chris is still a despicable human being. <br /> <br /> {{quote|Chris-Chan is—he’s an enigma which to so many people—they thought he was a troll. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real” because he’s like the most saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him and people are like, “bring it back!” And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE.” It’s like depressing—it’s not the golden age—it’s the depressing age.| Spazkid, rebuking the weens.}}<br /> <br /> In another podcast they made, they all got into a heated argument when Spazkid said that he believed that Chris Chan at least ''tries'' to make decent content with a huge majority of the podcast members completely disagreeing with him. <br /> <br /> They occasionally reference him sometimes in other episodes. <br /> <br /> Interestingly, the SleepyCabin podcast members reveal that [[Harry Partridge]] once contacted Chris about developing a game with him. Apparently, Chris turned Harry down because he thought he wasn’t a talented enough animator. Jump to 1:43:25 in the link. <br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= SleepyCast 11 - [Spooktacular Q&amp;A Spectacular]<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|Q6bNWhCEurY}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Radio Dead Air===<br /> {{main|WTFIWWY Segment}}<br /> <br /> On the 29 December, 2014 edition of his ''What the Fuck is Wrong with You?'' podcast, Radio Dead Air (and Channel Awesome) star Nash and his co-star Tara discussed the 26 December 2014 incident. Until this point, Nash had shed away from discussing Chris for much the same reason as Linkara, but decided he had to discuss it to the overwhelming volume of attention and e-mail the incident generated, along with the utter insanity displayed by Chris.&lt;ref&gt;[http://channelawesome.com/wtfiwwy-live-the-passion-of-the-chris-chan/ WTFIWWY Live: The Passion of the Chris Chan]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Design &amp; Trend===<br /> On 30 December 2014, website Design &amp; Trend also posted an article about the 26 December 2014 incident.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.designntrend.com/articles/33011/20141230/gamestop-maced-shocking-assault-sonic-fanboy-over-sonics-arms-sonichu-jailed-watch.htm GameStop Employee Maced In Shocking Assault By 'Sonic' Fanboy Over Sonic's Arms: 'Sonichu' Creator Jailed]&lt;/ref&gt; The article link has apparently been [[Twitter|tweeted]] 15 times, according to the website.<br /> <br /> ===ReviewTechUSA===<br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Chris Chan Assaults Gamestop Employee Over Sonic Boom<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|2zBXTErUpbc}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> On 2 January 2015, ReviewTechUSA made a video about the 26 December 2014 incident.<br /> <br /> ===The Mysterious Mr. Enter===<br /> Animation reviewer The Mysterious Mr. Enter made a slight nudge at Chris while preparing to rant about the infamous &quot;I Am Autism&quot; commercial from [[wikipedia:Autism Speaks|Autism Speaks]] (one of many reasons why the organization is disliked among the autism community), saying that it &quot;makes autistic people look worse than...I dunno, Chris-Chan does.&quot; Jump to 2:15 in the linked video--and by the way, that is a microphone, not a giant Icee cup. He also mentioned [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] near the end of his review of 12-oz. Mouse.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Mr. Enter Speaks About Autism Speaks<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|rMPNvcJtIR8}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Game Grumps===<br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Leisure Suit Larry 6: Too Easy - PART 13 - Steam Train <br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|xbTmGQUWwjM}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> {{quote|Ross: &quot;You'll be like Sonichu- the electric hedgehog Pokémon.&quot;<br /> Suzy: &quot;Oh man, my dreams come true...&quot;}}<br /> <br /> In an episode of ''Steam Train'', Suzy walks into the Grump Room mid-recording to quietly grab a blanket. Ross and Dan draw attention to her anyway, and they warn her they blanket is full of static electricity and it may just make her like Sonichu, to which Suzy is less than enthusiastic about. Jump to 6:00 for the whole conversation.<br /> <br /> ===SuperPrincessDaisy64===<br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Boom Shadow<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|LtVamUVxMa8}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> Chris appears at 1:13 where the song mocks him for disliking the blarms. Of note is that [[Wikipedia:Mike Pollock|Mike Pollock]], the TRUE and HONEST English voice actor for [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Eggman]], has commented on the video and given it his approval, meaning yet another of Chris's heroes is at least tangentially aware of his existence.<br /> <br /> ===''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Twitter===<br /> On June 10, 2015, a fan asked the official [[Twitter]] account of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (which has been verified and everything) if [[Sonichu]] will be playable in ''[[Sonic Boom]]: Fire &amp; Ice''.&lt;ref&gt;https://archive.is/eWfjQ&lt;/ref&gt; Their response?<br /> <br /> {{quote|Maybe, but only if we give Sonichu blue arms, three scarves, and ultimately just redesign him as Big the Cat.}}<br /> <br /> Two later posts also made minor mentions of Sonichu. The first was on March 9, 2016, in which [[Dr. Eggman]] attempts to cancel getting &quot;Big the Cat facts&quot; on his phone by texting his favorite Sonic character, but is told that his favorite Sonic character is Sonichu.&lt;ref&gt;https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/707622466391117824&lt;/ref&gt; The second was April 29, 2016, where &quot;Sonichu&quot; is one possible name on a &quot;What's Your Sonic Name&quot; chart making fun of the &quot;original characters&quot; in the Sonic fandom.&lt;ref&gt;https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/726090715885756416&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Crave Online Australia===<br /> [[File:ChrisSonichuSupanova.png|thumb|200px|Cosplayers as Christian and Sonichu at Supanova Sydney in 2015]]<br /> Crave Online, a website showcasing various video coverage from games, films, sports, and others topics covered a convention in [[PandaHalo|Australia]] called Supanova in 2015. A duo cosplayed as Chris and Sonichu, making a brief reference to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo]] rejecting Chris's game proposal.&lt;ref&gt;http://www.craveonline.com.au/entertainment/articles/869761-watch-supanova-pop-culture-expo-2015-sydney-wrap&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Larry Bundy, Jr.===<br /> Chris made a cameo appearance in the &quot;''Apaches''&quot; episode of ''Films Yanks Can't Wank'', during a mention of [[Jimmy Hill]]. Jump to 1:55 in the linked video.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Films Wanks Can't Wank - Apaches (HD)<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|W3JjyoEhCuo}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===CatalystEXE===<br /> CatalystEXE, most famous for being the voice of Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life, made a drawing of Christian, Rosechu (with a [[china]] for a mouth), a [[pickle]], and Sonic during a live stream. Watch from 46:12-58:21 in the video to see him draw the picture. He also made two comments regarding Christian.<br /> [[File:Cata4.png|thumb|200px|The drawing in question. Reads: &quot;My feet are so hot and sweaty from running around all day! Maybe you can help me cool off!&quot;]]<br /> [[File:Cata.PNG|thumb|200px|His first comment]]<br /> [[File:Cata2.PNG|thumb|200px|His second comment]]<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Art<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|GCSVSpo6eRk}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Drunken Peasants===<br /> Chris appeared on the ''Drunken Peasants'' podcast (starring TJ, also known as [[Thorg|The Amazing Atheist]]) episode 129 on July 10, 2015.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= TJ Slaps Stevie - Confederate flag Taken Down in SC - Stupid Ads - DPP #129 <br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|pBC7EMkQzzI}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===The Jimquisition===<br /> In his review of ''Sonic the Hedgehog 2 3D'' for the 3DS, Jim Sterling gives a list of reasons why the original ''Sonic 2'' was an all-time classic. In this list, Jim mentions that the game is &quot;a great way to meet [[boyfriend-free girl]]s,&quot; and also makes reference to the blue arms controversy.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.thejimquisition.com/sonic-the-hedgehog-2-3d-review/]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Your Movie Sucks===<br /> 33 seconds into YMS's review of ''Cyberbully'', the infamous picture of Chris wearing Barb's bra and panties is shown when Adam says &quot;You can control what you post.&quot; The photo was actually leaked, but the point still stands given that one can control what pictures they take of themselves.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= YMS: Cyberbully (Full Review)<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|fi8A-GHOo8c}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===iDubbbz===<br /> On November 26, 2015, iDubbbz, well known for his Content Cop and Bad Unboxing series, received a Sonichu Medallion from a fan, who made it and wore it for a convention cosplaying as Chris. iDubbbz then mentions how he knows a little about him and wears it throughout the video. (Jump to 3:00 for the unboxing) <br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= Straight out of Compton - Bad Unboxing<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|UHmQKzenYYw}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Adam Baldwin's twitter===<br /> On 5 December 2015, actor [[wikipedia:Adam Baldwin|Adam Baldwin]] tweeted an image showing photos of various people who are either opposed or supporitve of GamerGate. At the top of the image on its far left side a picture of Chris can be seen.&lt;ref&gt;[https://archive.is/2oxcX]&lt;/ref&gt; The tweet was later on deleted.&lt;ref&gt;[https://twitter.com/adambaldwin/status/673221909681602560]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> ===Gawker===<br /> On 5 [[May 2016]], controversial gossip website [[Wikipedia:Gawker|Gawker]] wrote about deleted [[Wikipedia]] articles, including ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.&lt;ref&gt;http://gawker.com/a-tender-loving-sonic-pokemon-crossover-and-more-artic-1774546168&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Return of Kings===<br /> Chris has an article and is commonly used as an example of an &quot;omega&quot; on the Kings Wiki, the wiki of controversial neomasculinity group Return of Kings.&lt;ref&gt;[http://www.returnofkings.com/21749/the-most-omega-place-on-the-internet]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ===Zip Zap===<br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= MANGLENN | DeviantArt Rants #1<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|iH3icqBO8Vw}}<br /> }}<br /> German-American ranter Zip Zap made a slight nod to Chris Chan when comparing a pedophile named Manglenn to him, even adding [[I Recycle My Own Semen|&quot;at least [Manglenn] doesn't recycle his own semen... not from what we know&quot;]].<br /> <br /> ===Milo Yiannopoulos===<br /> On 20 January 2017, former editor of Breitbart News, Milo Yiannopoulous, spoke at the University of Washington. The event, called ''Cyberbullying Isn't Real'', contained a segment where Milo comments on how George H.W. Bush, a World War II torpedo bomber pilot and the head of the CIA, was considered a wimp when he ran for president.&lt;ref&gt;Yiannopoulos mistakenly refers to Bush as a fighter pilot in his speech. George H.W. Bush flew a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grumman_TBF_Avenger Grumman TBF Avenger] torpedo bomber.&lt;/ref&gt; Milo then poses the question:<br /> <br /> {{quote|What will happen when we have the first [[A Public Announcement for Congress|presidential campaign]] featuring a [[Tomgirl Saga|genderqueer]] [[Chris-chan Sonichu|furry]] who has [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|videos of himself crying on YouTube]] because someone insulted his [[My Little Pony]] drawings? We know, don't we, what the first social justice president will look like.| Milo Yiannopoulous, exhibiting a photo of Chris}}<br /> <br /> A picture of Chris is then featured on the screen to illustrate Milo's point. Although there were no specific allusions to Chris, Milo gives an eerily accurate description of Chris's internet infamy—seemingly derived '''solely''' on the photo itself. Jump to 1:13:02 in the link. <br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= MILO At University Of Washington: Cyberbullying Isn't Real<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|ePF78xrzSQY}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Kotaku===<br /> In the Kotaku article [http://kotaku.com/what-people-miss-when-they-use-autistic-as-an-insult-1794491453 ''What People Miss When They Use 'Autistic' As An Insult''], writer Cecilia D'Anastasio points to Chris and ''Sonichu'', along with the actions of [[trolls]] on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as part of the reason &quot;[[autism]] came to be associated with impassioned gamers.&quot; The article seemed sympathetic to Chris, though Cecilia acknowledged in a comment that many of his views are offensive and that she does not endorse them, but also claimed that &quot;[Chris's] personal beliefs are not entirely relevant to my article’s main themes&quot;.<br /> <br /> ===Sachumo===<br /> {{main|Documentary}}<br /> <br /> Sachumo is a YouTuber who gained moderate popularity after making a [[documentary]] on Chris's life. The video has since garnered over a million views. On 22 September 2017, Chris finally viewed the documentary, writing about its traumatic effects in a [[Facebook]] post.<br /> <br /> On 21 October 2017, Sachumo did a live stream in which he chatted with Chris.<br /> <br /> ===Fredrik Knudsen===<br /> YouTuber Fredrik Knudsen, known for his ''Down the Rabbit Hole'' videos, made a video talking about Chris. He also posted a live stream on ''Sonichu'' the following year.<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= Sonichu and Christian Weston Chandler (CWC) — Down the Rabbit Hole<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|v=5IPtLvxO8hs&amp;t}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= [Archived Livestream] Sonichu: A Critical Analysis | Down the Rabbit Hole Livestream Special<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|v=kDdRDSP7ehA}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===BraveryJerk===<br /> {{main|BraveryJerk Interviews}}<br /> <br /> On two separate occasions in 2016, BraveryJerk, a group of [[autism|exceptional individuals]] who run a subreddit affiliated with the popular /r/circlejerk, interviewed Chris, producing three videos on two YouTube channels.<br /> <br /> ===Mister Metokur===<br /> On June 30, 2017, a popular YouTuber, Mister Metokur, compared an atrocious webcomic, the Light Bringer, made by another lolcow, Linkara, to Sonichu in that they are both self-insert mary sue comics filled with one-dimensional characters in his video ''TGWTG Episode 3: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm''. He also mentioned that the only difference between Chris and Linkara is that Chris has autism and Linkara &quot;hasn't been diagnosed&quot;.<br /> <br /> ===RebelTaxi===<br /> Chris and Sonichu are occasionally referenced on RebelTaxi's 'Pizza Party' podcast. Episode 61 even includes Sonichu in its thumbnail.<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= 61-Pizza Party Podcast-The DIAPER FETISH SONIC Special<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|DvlVgAIvkYI}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===BIRDMAN===<br /> BIRDMAN (Also known as Anthony) is a prominent Youtuber who has displayed &quot;Eugene&quot; (typically people like Chris) on his youtube channel to analyze. He only found out about Chris in late 2017, uploading the video ''The Biggest Eugene You Will Ever See''.<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= The Biggest Eugene You Will Ever See<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|5ue_nP9w0fY}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===VideoGameDunkey===<br /> VideoGameDunkey is a notable YouTube let's player known for his reviews, commentaries, and walkthrough videos for a variety of video games. On 17 March 2017, he uploaded a video called ''The Good Year'', in which he praised the new games released that year. During the video, a picture of Chris is shown when he talks about how [[Sonic]] fans are weird.<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= The Good Year<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|bxvPG4xCyCA}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===OneyPlays===<br /> OneyPlays is a gaming channel on YouTube run by popular animator Chris O'Neil, better known as &quot;Oney&quot; or &quot;OneyNG.&quot; He and his friends Ding Dong and Julian occasionally reference Chris in their banter. An example of this is how, during their playthrough of ''Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back'', they come up with a humorous scenario where Chris replaces the title character as the main protagonist of ''[[Harry Potter]]''. They have further mentioned that their favorite video of Chris is [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]. Among the three, Julian seems to be, at the very least, the most respectful toward Chris Chan, this is seen when he became somewhat upset when Chris O'Neil called Chris Chan a retard in the F Zero play through and also, in the Sonic Adventure one, when Ding Dong joked about Chris Chan committing suicide by electrocuting himself with an Xbox, though despite all this, he does always end up laughing.<br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= Oney Plays - Chris Chan Compilation<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube| dfCqoiD4lGQ}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= Oney Plays - Chris Chan Compilation 2<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlaXh_8i6uE&amp;t=25s}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Bad Creepypasta===<br /> Bad Creepypasta is a YouTube show in which, as its name implies, sub-par creepypasta stories are read and made fun of. In the episode &quot;OG Nina the Killer,&quot; the hosts imagine a character in the story named Chris to be Chris-chan, and make many references to Sonichu and CWCVille throughout.<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= BAD CREEPYPASTA - OG Nina the Killer<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube| Y39dmXQBpDw}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Internauts===<br /> The YouTube series Internauts (known at the time as Logan Hub) used an image of a shirtless Chris in their video on [[Anime|weaboos]] (the picture is at the 0:39 mark):<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= Weeaboos EXPLAINED<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube| TsQ3WqXAoJg}}<br /> }}<br /> Logan later did a video on bad webcomics, in which ''Sonichu'' was featured as one of them, even mentioning that he will do an entire episode on Chris later (He starts talking about Sonichu at 4:44):<br /> <br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= The Weird Side of the Internet &lt;nowiki&gt;|&lt;/nowiki&gt; Episode 7: Bad Web Comics<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube| owJOC6ocR2E}}<br /> }}<br /> ===Diamondbolt===<br /> Diamondbolt is a Youtuber known for his videos on [[Transformers]] and other popular media. In his video &quot;Sonic the Hedgehog Characters in One Quote!&quot;, Sonichu can be been when describing Sonic O.Cs. <br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= Sonic the Hedgehog Characters in One Quote!<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube| 2NMDEDsNMx8}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> <br /> ===GenoSamuel2===<br /> GenoSamuel is a YouTuber who received a large amount of attention starting in February 2018 for his &quot;Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History&quot; series. These videos are essentially a documentary about Chris's life, similar to [[Documentary|Sachumo's]]. However, while Sachumo's video is an abridged summary of Chris's life for newcomers, Geno's videos go into greater detail, each video being around 30 to 40 minutes long. The series is in chronological order, taking several videos just to cover Chris's life before his internet fame, and Geno has said that he plans to step through the [[Saga|densely packed events]] of 2009-10 in increments of a few months. The series is still ongoing, and Geno predicts that it will be around 20 episodes long by the time he reaches the present day. He also mentions that when the series will be done, he will continue them if in case another event happens in Chris life.<br /> <br /> {{infobox/video<br /> |name= Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History - Part 1<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Aiv66DEGjE&amp;t=5s}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==Death threats against Trump==<br /> On 9 [[November 2016]], Chris made multiple death threats against President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]].<br /> <br /> Later that day, one of his Twitter posts was featured in an [http://www.infowars.com/hillary-supporters-burn-american-flag-riot-threaten-to-kill-trump-after-losing-election/ article] by Alex Jones's Infowars website. The article was linked to on the [http://archive.is/kyUJh Drudge Report]. [[wikipedia:David Duke|David Duke]], a former member of Louisiana's State Representatives and a white nationalist, [https://twitter.com/DrDavidDuke/status/796474021625860098 tweeted] the article. '''Chris himself [[2009-2016 tweets#10 November 2016.1|tweeted]] the article on 10 November.'''<br /> <br /> Daniel &quot;Keemstar&quot; Keem, host of the drama YouTube account, Drama Alert, [https://mobile.twitter.com/KEEMSTAR/status/796281178030567424 tweeted] at Chris and alerted the Secret Service. <br /> <br /> Sky Williams, a YouTube gamer with nearly a million subscribers, [https://twitter.com/SkyWilliams/status/796282670959366144 retweeted] Chris's post and added the comment, &quot;k so this shit isn't okay - can we report this?&quot; OneyNG, another YouTube gamer, also [https://twitter.com/OneyNG/status/796273797984718852 retweeted], saying &quot;Chris Chan always knows what to say.&quot; Hundreds of retweets were made by their followers.<br /> <br /> Conservative website HillaryDaily.com featured the tweet in an [http://hillarydaily.com/brandon/2016/11/10/radical-left-now-threatening-to-assassinate-donald-trump/ article] on 10 November.<br /> <br /> ==Video Games==<br /> ===McPixel===<br /> On 25 [[June 2012]], the indie game ''McPixel'' featured a homage to [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris' sexcapades with inanimate objects]] by having a special ending sequence depicting the titular character dry-humping a PS3 in the same stance Chris was.<br /> <br /> {{Infobox/video<br /> |name= McPixel Extra Ending<br /> |video= {{#ev:youtube|TWHd_10zcaY}}<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ===Goat Simulator===<br /> [[File:Goat.jpg|thumb|300px|The goat unfortunately named Chris-Chan.]]<br /> The &quot;Goat MMO Simulator&quot; DLC pack adds a simulated MMO mode that parodies games such as World of Warcraft. AI-controlled goats simulate the presence of other players, and their names are drawn randomly from a list of pre-generated names. 'Chris-chan' is one of the names on this list.<br /> <br /> ===OK K.O.! Lakewood Plaza Turbo===<br /> An iOS/Android beat-em-up based on a Cartoon Network pilot, ''OK K.O.!'' introduces certain characters with a short biography screen (including a quote). The one for Carol (the player character's mother) has her saying &quot;Go out and defend our Plaza--to the extreme!&quot; (clearly echoing the cover to [[Sonichu 0]]).&lt;ref&gt;http://imgur.com/wvpZ8uW&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> Worth noting is that ''OK K.O.!'' is intended for general audiences.<br /> <br /> ===Heartbeat===<br /> <br /> In the upcoming RPG Heartbeat, a minor NPC character whose appearance and mannerisms are obviously based on Chris can be interacted with in one of the game's locations.<br /> <br /> ==See Also==<br /> <br /> *[[Chris in the news]]<br /> <br /> ==References==<br /> &lt;references/&gt;<br /> <br /> [[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=219416 2018-04-24T00:16:40Z

<p>European Qoheleth: </p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article.<br /> {{infobox<br /> |title = European&amp;nbsp;Qoheleth<br /> |header1 = Information<br /> |label1 = Discovered Chris-chan through<br /> |data1 = Some wiki about crap webcomics (of which Sonichu was one mentioned)<br /> |label2 = Why I'm Here<br /> |data2 = [[Autism#Chris_and_other_autistics|A mixture of doing a Sister Sledge moment]] and morbid fascination<br /> |label3 = Date of Birth<br /> |data3 = [[1992|25 August 1992]] (age {{Age|1992|8|25}})<br /> |label4 = Gender<br /> |data4 = Male<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==Userboxes==<br /> {{Catholic}}<br /> {{AssBurger}}<br /> {{White}}<br /> {{Asexual}}<br /> {{Template:PS2}}<br /> {{Template:PS3}}<br /> {{Irish}}<br /> {{Wii}}<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> “ <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> „<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan<br /> <br /> * &quot;I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.&quot;<br /> <br /> - [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] (Aptly the minister of taking names looks like Mr. Clifford; the economics man who also pours the cold water of truth on people.)<br /> <br /> * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMdK488P6yc</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=219411 2018-04-24T00:08:10Z

<p>European Qoheleth: </p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article. (Janey, seems as of 24th April 2018 it was 8 years since a Catholic joined this wiki. Tut tut my coreligionists).<br /> {{infobox<br /> |title = European&amp;nbsp;Qoheleth<br /> |header1 = Information<br /> |label1 = Discovered Chris-chan through<br /> |data1 = Some wiki about crap webcomics (of which Sonichu was one mentioned)<br /> |label2 = Why I'm Here<br /> |data2 = [[Autism#Chris_and_other_autistics|A mixture of doing a Sister Sledge moment]] and morbid fascination<br /> |label3 = Date of Birth<br /> |data3 = [[1992|25 August 1992]] (age {{Age|1992|8|25}})<br /> |label4 = Gender<br /> |data4 = Male<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==Userboxes==<br /> {{Catholic}}<br /> {{AssBurger}}<br /> {{White}}<br /> {{Asexual}}<br /> {{Template:PS2}}<br /> {{Template:PS3}}<br /> {{Irish}}<br /> {{Wii}}<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> “ <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> „<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan<br /> <br /> * &quot;I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.&quot;<br /> <br /> - [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] (Aptly the minister of taking names looks like Mr. Clifford; the economics man who also pours the cold water of truth on people.)<br /> <br /> * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMdK488P6yc</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=219410 2018-04-24T00:07:44Z

<p>European Qoheleth: </p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article. (Janey, seems as of 24th April 2018 it was 8 years since a Catholic joined this wiki. Tut tut my coreligionists.<br /> {{infobox<br /> |title = European&amp;nbsp;Qoheleth<br /> |header1 = Information<br /> |label1 = Discovered Chris-chan through<br /> |data1 = Some wiki about crap webcomics (of which Sonichu was one mentioned)<br /> |label2 = Why I'm Here<br /> |data2 = [[Autism#Chris_and_other_autistics|A mixture of doing a Sister Sledge moment]] and morbid fascination<br /> |label3 = Date of Birth<br /> |data3 = [[1992|25 August 1992]] (age {{Age|1992|8|25}})<br /> |label4 = Gender<br /> |data4 = Male<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==Userboxes==<br /> {{Catholic}}<br /> {{AssBurger}}<br /> {{White}}<br /> {{Asexual}}<br /> {{Template:PS2}}<br /> {{Template:PS3}}<br /> {{Irish}}<br /> {{Wii}}<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> “ <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> „<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan<br /> <br /> * &quot;I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.&quot;<br /> <br /> - [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] (Aptly the minister of taking names looks like Mr. Clifford; the economics man who also pours the cold water of truth on people.)<br /> <br /> * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMdK488P6yc</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Cville_Pride&diff=219409 2018-04-23T23:44:20Z

<p>European Qoheleth: </p> <hr /> <div>[[File:CvillePrideLogo.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The event's logo.]]<br /> '''Cville Pride''', formally the Charlottesville Pride Community Network, is a prominent [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] organization in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]]. Ever since [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] came out as a [[homos|lesbian]] in mid-2014, the group has been an important conduit for his emergent participation in the LGBTQ community.<br /> <br /> ==Pride Festival==<br /> <br /> Back when he was a raging homophobe, a gay pride festival was the last place on earth Chris would have wanted to find himself. He was deeply upset when, in 2009, the fanclub [[Gay 4 Sonichu]] displayed a float of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for one of their “UGH!!!... pride parades.”&lt;ref&gt;[[Common Questions]]&lt;/ref&gt; All this changed on 14 [[August 2014]], when Chris came out on [[Facebook]] &quot;as a [[Tomgirl]], Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser,&quot; later clarified (if you can call it that) as &quot;a Lesbian Identified Male and Cross-Dressing Transgender.&quot; He immediately expressed an interest in attending &quot;Pride Parades,&quot; where he thought he could get some play.&lt;ref&gt;[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]] and [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#On the prowl for centerfolds]]&lt;/ref&gt; At the urging of his [[gal-pals]], he took the initiative to attend the third annual Charlottesville Pride Festival, organized by Cville Pride, on 14 [[September 2014]]. It was held in Lee Park in downtown Charlottesville, and featured drag performances and information booths. He had planned to attend with [[Catherine]], but at the last minute she came down with a case of car trouble.&lt;ref&gt;[[Catherine E-mails#Empathy lessons]]&lt;/ref&gt; Chris hung out for a few hours, and then went home and posted about it on Facebook.<br /> <br /> &lt;center&gt;&lt;gallery&gt;<br /> File:Pride 4.jpeg<br /> File:Pride 3.jpeg<br /> File:Pride 2.jpeg<br /> File:Pride 1.jpeg<br /> File:Chris pride B.jpg<br /> &lt;/gallery&gt;&lt;/center&gt;<br /> <br /> {{Quote|I was at the Pride Festival today, and I really felt accepted and liked among the LGBT community; like I do belong there as the Lesbian Transgender that I am, and a lot of [[Women's rights|real women]] there showed me kindness and respect. :) I feel better about myself for that. But I was not in the mental state to meet new people yet, but I did make some acquaintances; talked with some of them for a bit. But I do feel that I really want to do more with the community, so I may join up with the C-Ville Pride, or something; I have some pamphlets and details. I will make my own decisions!|Chris on Facebook, 13 September 2014&lt;ref&gt;[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#The Pride Festival]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> Not long after this, he added &quot;Lee Park&quot; as one of his Places on his Facebook page.<br /> <br /> ==Bowling Night==<br /> While the full extent of Chris's involvement with Cville Pride is unclear, he soon took to keeping track of their events on Facebook, liking articles regarding lesbian or transgender issues. Chris's next verified Cville Pride event was &quot;LGBTQ Youth &amp; Family Bowling Night&quot; on 10 [[June 2015]], which put him back $5.00. <br /> <br /> <br /> [[File:ChrisBowlingFacebook.png|center]]<br /> <br /> <br /> While it was open to &quot;all ages,&quot; it is not clear if the organizers were imagining 33 as a serious number. Nevertheless, Chris went, again at the urging of his gal-pals, and seems to have had a good time, based on the photos posted on the Facebook page.<br /> <br /> &lt;center&gt;&lt;gallery&gt;<br /> File:ChrisBowling.jpg<br /> File:ChrisBowling2.jpg<br /> File:ChrisBowling3.jpg<br /> File:ChrisBowling4.jpg<br /> File:ChrisBowling5.jpg<br /> &lt;/gallery&gt;&lt;/center&gt;<br /> <br /> <br /> [[Weens]] couldn't resist trying to ruin Chris's fun, though:<br /> <br /> <br /> [[File:Bowling ween.png|center]]<br /> <br /> <br /> All the photos were quickly removed.<br /> <br /> ==Pride Night at Firefly==<br /> [[File:Cwcpridenight-png.37435.png|center|thumb|400px]]<br /> <br /> Chris noted on Facebook that he would be attending another Cville Pride-hosted event, &quot;Pride Night at Firefly,&quot; a casual meetup at a Charlottesville restaurant, on 18 July 2015. At present it's not known if he attended or how many children he weirded out. That evening, however, he did put in an appearance at [[Impulse Gay Social Club|Impulse]]. <br /> <br /> ==In 2015==<br /> [[File:Pridefest.png|right|thumb|200px|Facebook announcement.]]<br /> On 19 September 2015, Chris returned to the annual Charlottesville Pride Festival in Lee Park. He was in generally good spirits but all was not perfect in Cwcville:<br /> <br /> {{quote|I am at ‪#‎CVillePride‬ . Having a good and safe time. Only complaint is no woman friend/partner to cuddle or hold hands with.|Chris on Facebook.&lt;ref&gt;[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Still Want Woman]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> This time around, instead of sitting by himself, he was affiliated with a local mental health service with a booth at the event. According to a reputable field agent, he wore a blue sleeveless top and white skirt with his [[Sonichu medallion]]. He had set up a bulletin board advertising his comic, and whiled away his time drawing caricatures and passing out flyers.&lt;ref&gt;[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/fb-9-19-chris-is-having-a-good-time-at-cville-pride-but-wants-woman.12734/#post-984267]]&lt;/ref&gt; [[Weens]] attempted to ruin his day, but the decent folk of the [[Kiwi Farms]] thwarted the effort, thereby gaining karma.&lt;ref&gt;[[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/which-one-of-you-fuckers-did-this.12741/]]&lt;/ref&gt;<br /> <br /> ==In 2016==<br /> <br /> [[File:HOW MANY GENDERS ARE THERE.png|thumb|Chris, at Cville Pride 2016.]]<br /> <br /> Chris attended, bringing along his [[medallion]] and toy dolls (one an effigy of himself), pretending that the two were on a date together.<br /> <br /> He was interviewed at the event, first previewed in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXreRh98M4A&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;t=159 a video] which surfaced on 7 October. In response to the interviewer's question on the number of genders that exist, Chris answered with fifty-eight. Chris had gotten that number from an article on the number of gender options a Facebook user can choose.<br /> <br /> ''Interviewer'': Hey, look who it is. It's Christian Weston Chandler. How many genders are there?<br /> <br /> ''Chris'': Oh, I just learned, there's, like, 58.<br /> <br /> Later, the interviewer posted the [[BraveryJerk Interviews|full video]] on YouTube.<br /> <br /> ===Facebook posts from the event===<br /> <br /> {{quotebox|17 September at 4:44 pm<br /> I really did not know how many genders there are, but I am not and do not judge. Have a good day.<br /> <br /> &lt;nowiki&gt;At #CVillePride2016&lt;/nowiki&gt;<br /> <br /> http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2014/02/heres-a-list-of-58-gender-options-for-facebook-users/<br /> }}<br /> <br /> {{quotebox|17 September at 5:25 pm<br /> Vinyl and I are enjoying the music at #CVillePride2016.<br /> <br /> [[File:Cwc and vinyl dolls at Cville Pride 2016.jpg|250px]]<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==In 2017==<br /> [[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Yep, he's in the paper.]]<br /> <br /> Chris attended the event in 2017, posting on Facebook, &quot;Good show so far; just chillin'; will give free hugs; come on down!&quot;<br /> <br /> He was photographed by the ''Daily Progress'', a local Charlottesville newspaper, wearing the [[unicorn cosplay]], the [[medallion]], and his [[Z-Ring]], while posing next to a drag queen. He later shared a photo of the newspaper on Facebook.<br /> <br /> {{quotebox|Check out who's on page three of &quot;The Daily Progress&quot; today! Ultimate Participation Trophy! 😊🌸🌸🌸🌈 #CVillePride2017}}<br /> <br /> [[File:Pride-Festival-2017-at-Pavilion-091617-CC.jpg|thumb|left|200px]]<br /> NewsRadio WINA also published a photo with him.<br /> {{clear}}<br /> <br /> [[File:Cwc cville pride 2017.jpg|thumb|200px]]<br /> In this photo taken by a Twitter user, Chris is shown walking by himself, while other people are socializing in the distance around him. He is lugging around bags, which probably contain Sonichu merch and his toys, if his [[UVA Remembers Pulse|trips to other]] [[BronyCon|events]] are any indication.<br /> <br /> {{clear}}<br /> <br /> He also appears in background shots of videos.<br /> <br /> In the audience, at around the 20 second mark, at top right:<br /> {{Infobox/Fanvideo<br /> | name = Cville Pride<br /> | video = {{#ev:youtube|UCdEyAO_VTU}}<br /> | stardate = 16 [[September 2017]]<br /> | subject = }}<br /> <br /> Same audience shot, with Chris appearing at 1:45, At 2:25, he gets up to walk to the aisle before returning to his seat later.<br /> {{Infobox/Fanvideo<br /> | name = Cville Pride<br /> | video = {{#ev:youtube|XMvS7bZzByo}}<br /> | stardate = 16 [[September 2017]]<br /> | subject = }}<br /> <br /> ==See also==<br /> *[[Impulse Gay Social Club]]<br /> <br /> ==References==<br /> &lt;references/&gt;<br /> <br /> ==External links==<br /> *[http://cvillepride.org/ Cville Pride homepage]<br /> *[https://www.facebook.com/cvillepride Cville Pride Facebook page]<br /> <br /> {{Places}}<br /> <br /> [[Category:Social life]]<br /> [[Category:Homos]]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=219342 2018-04-22T06:49:56Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* Quotes */</p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article.<br /> {{infobox<br /> |title = European&amp;nbsp;Qoheleth<br /> |header1 = Information<br /> |label1 = Discovered Chris-chan through<br /> |data1 = Some wiki about crap webcomics (of which Sonichu was one mentioned)<br /> |label2 = Why I'm Here<br /> |data2 = [[Autism#Chris_and_other_autistics|A mixture of doing a Sister Sledge moment]] and morbid fascination<br /> |label3 = Date of Birth<br /> |data3 = [[1992|25 August 1992]] (age {{Age|1992|8|25}})<br /> |label4 = Gender<br /> |data4 = Male<br /> |label5 = Nationality<br /> |data5 = [[Chris_and_race#Other_white_ethnicities.2Fcultures|Irish]]<br /> |label6 = Race<br /> |data6 = White<br /> |label7 = Religion<br /> |data7 = [[Chris_and_religion#Other_Christian_denominations|Roman Catholic]]<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> “ <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> „<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan<br /> <br /> * &quot;I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.&quot;<br /> <br /> - [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] (Aptly the minister of taking names looks like Mr. Clifford; the economics man who also pours the cold water of truth on people.)<br /> <br /> * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMdK488P6yc</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=219341 2018-04-22T06:26:04Z

<p>European Qoheleth: </p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article.<br /> {{infobox<br /> |title = European&amp;nbsp;Qoheleth<br /> |header1 = Information<br /> |label1 = Discovered Chris-chan through<br /> |data1 = Some wiki about crap webcomics (of which Sonichu was one mentioned)<br /> |label2 = Why I'm Here<br /> |data2 = [[Autism#Chris_and_other_autistics|A mixture of doing a Sister Sledge moment]] and morbid fascination<br /> |label3 = Date of Birth<br /> |data3 = [[1992|25 August 1992]] (age {{Age|1992|8|25}})<br /> |label4 = Gender<br /> |data4 = Male<br /> |label5 = Nationality<br /> |data5 = [[Chris_and_race#Other_white_ethnicities.2Fcultures|Irish]]<br /> |label6 = Race<br /> |data6 = White<br /> |label7 = Religion<br /> |data7 = [[Chris_and_religion#Other_Christian_denominations|Roman Catholic]]<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> “ <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> „<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan<br /> <br /> * &quot;I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.&quot;<br /> <br /> - [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] (Aptly the minister of taking names looks like Mr. Clifford; the economics man who also pours the cold water of truth on people.)</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=219327 2018-04-22T05:03:51Z

<p>European Qoheleth: test</p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article.<br /> {{infobox<br /> |title = European&amp;nbsp;Qoheleth<br /> |header1 = Information<br /> |label1 = Discovered Chris-chan through<br /> |data1 = Some wiki about crap webcomics (of which Sonichu was one mentioned)<br /> |label3 = Date of Birth<br /> |data3 = [[1992|25 August 1992]] (age {{Age|1992|8|25}})<br /> |label4 = Gender<br /> |data4 = Male<br /> |label5 = Nationality<br /> |data5 = [[Chris_and_race#Other_white_ethnicities.2Fcultures|Irish]]<br /> |label6 = Race<br /> |data6 = White<br /> |label7 = Religion<br /> |data7 = [[Chris_and_religion#Other_Christian_denominations|Roman Catholic]]<br /> }}<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> “ <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> „<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan<br /> <br /> * &quot;I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.&quot;<br /> <br /> - [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] (Aptly the minister of taking names looks like Mr. Clifford; the economics man who also pours the cold water of truth on people.)</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=219326 2018-04-22T04:26:32Z

<p>European Qoheleth: </p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article.<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> “ <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> „<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan<br /> <br /> * &quot;I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.&quot;<br /> <br /> - [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] (Aptly the minister of taking names looks like Mr. Clifford; the economics man who also pours the cold water of truth on people.)</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Asperchu/Background&diff=219325 2018-04-22T04:19:05Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* Sonichu */</p> <hr /> <div>:''This article is about &quot;Asperchu&quot;, a very well-thought-out webcomic.&lt;br /&gt;For Chris's views and such and all that, see [[Asperchu]].''<br /> <br /> &lt;center&gt;{{#ev:youtube|yHXBFT6G5c0}}&lt;/center&gt;<br /> <br /> {{Quote|I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|rejection]], tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic [[Wikipedia:Bizarro World|bizzaro]] [[Chris]].|An anon on [[/cwc/]], summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.}}<br /> <br /> {{quote|I detest &quot;Asperchu&quot;, because one, it is a [[Parody]] of a [[Sonichu]] with [[aspergers]], which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like [[autism]], then the creator really knows nothing about Autism.|Chris&lt;ref&gt;[[Mailbag 24]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> [[Image:AsperchuFanArt.png|thumb|That's right, '''Asperchu''' is so popular, it's fan art that has received fan art of itself]]<br /> <br /> '''''The Amazing Asperchu''''' (also called ''Asperchu: The Amazing Tales'' and ''The Spectacular Asperchu'') is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' detailing the zany misadventures of [[Asperchu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] with [[Asperger syndrome]]. It can be read [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ here].<br /> <br /> ''Asperchu'' pokes fun at everything that makes [[Chris]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic series what it is. Unlike ''Sonichu'', where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast detest him. Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style - this is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|believes that it doesn't have the same &quot;character&quot;]] as [[Chris and art|his paper-and-pencil-drawn pages]].<br /> <br /> {{TOC limit|2}} <br /> <br /> ==Protagonists==<br /> <br /> ===Asperchu===<br /> [[Image:Asperchu.jpg|thumb|left|150px|The Good, Godly, STRAIGHT Asperchu]] <br /> <br /> Asperchu is a high-functioning Electric/Asperger's Hedgehog Pokémon. He has no Electric-type attacks; however, his Asperger's-type attacks do double damage against Autistic-type Pokémon. His strongest attack is the ''Asperhameha'', which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.<br /> <br /> Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late [[2003]] and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on [[YouTube]] videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his [[Xbox 360]] or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Normandale Community College]] with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin. However, Asperchu's adventures and his recent state of mind has made him forget this detail and he has missed 195 days of school.<br /> <br /> He is currently on a [[Love Quest]] to obtain a [[gal-pal]] whom he can build into a [[sweetheart from the ground up]]. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in video games and won't go anywhere without his Xbox Portable. As well, Asperchu has an incredible dislike for [[slow-in-the-mind]]s.<br /> <br /> For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream-daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] of the past. Both of them drank the [[semen|Special Fanta Brew]] that created [[Sonichu]] in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and defecated out a deformed monster, naming it &quot;Asperia&quot;. While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grew bored of taking care of her and tried leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continued playing video games. Asperia was killed by [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].<br /> <br /> Currently, Asperchu is being manipulated by a squirrel-creature calling itself &quot;[[Rocky]]&quot;, telling Asperchu that he need never take responsibility for his actions. Unbeknownst to Asperchu, &quot;Rocky&quot; is one of the mysterious [[Man in the Pickle Suit|MIPS]].<br /> <br /> It has been revealed that the source of Asperchu's powers is the Chaos Pickle of Diligence, though Asperchu believed that he was [[GodJesus]]'s next prophet.<br /> <br /> *Asperchu is, of course, based on [[Christian Weston Chandler]]; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's [[Rollin' and Trollin']] phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the [[ego]], narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the [[Love Quest]]. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent and [[naïve]] Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a [[duck|prick]] as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true: reasonably, he would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it. Asperchu's hatred of gingers is reminiscent of Chris-chan's dislike of [[Blacks]].<br /> <br /> ===Sonichu===<br /> [[Image:TheOtherAsperchu.jpg|thumb|150px|Asperchu's bestest joy-boy Sonichu, who eventually got his own spin-off comic due to the popularity of Asperchu]] <br /> <br /> The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Or at least he ''was''...<br /> <br /> [[Sonichu]] shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the [[Troll]] Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a [[Homos|late night snuggling rendezvous]]. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of [[Virginia]], on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of [[Asperger's Syndrome]] as a component of the Autism Spectrum. Or at least he ''did...''<br /> <br /> Sonichu was created in [[1999]] by Ian Brandon Anderson through an unholy mixture of human and Chu semen with Fanta. At first, Ian was overjoyed at having a son of his own, especially one who'd be a loyal and true son, unlike [[Bionic]]. However, Ian got bored of trying to raise Sonichu, especially when it got into his video game playing time. Casting him into a raft, Sonichu floated down the river until he was found by the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, who raised Sonichu as his own son. When Ian Brandon Anderson took over [[CWCVille]], Sonichu was forced to be married off to [[Rosechu]], only for him and the rest of the [[Chaotic Combo]] to revolt. Arriving in ALBVille, he and the rest of the Chaotic Combo fought to free CWCVille from Ian's grips. However, the release of Metal Asperchu would change all that as he would slaughter most of the Combo. When Sonichu went to confront Ian at last, Metal Asperchu made short work of him, lopping off his right arm. When Asperchu, Max and Jivin returned from the past, Asperchu revealed off-handedly that Ian was his father. Sonichu went on a quest to find the truth, only to end up with Mitch Chu dead. When Christian told Sonichu the truth, it drove Sonichu insane. He hunted down Ian as he was kidnapping Asperia and blew out his kneecaps, accidentally killing Asperia. Being captured by Bionic again, he provoked Sonichu into killing Ian for good. As a gift, he grafted Ian's arm where Sonichu's once was. When Argentum was released, he teleported Asperchu and Sonichu to the time when the [[4-Cent_Garbage]] Center was destroyed, only for the hedgehog to tear apart the place. When Sonichu returns to the present, Sonichu attempts to call Asperchu a monster, but he feels himself unworthy of Chris's love and runs away.<br /> <br /> While in self-imposed exile in [[BlueSpike#Julie|Molvanîa]], he finds himself possessed by the soul of Ian and, in fear, runs to Bionic for help. When Bionic can't help him, the two rescue Sinestro from his prison. However, not even Sinestro understands Sonichu's odd transformation, his fur turning blue, his eyes taking Ian's [[heterochromia]] styling, [[Obesity|his cholesterol level skyrocketing]] and wanting to play the [[PS3]] for 5 to 9 hours.<br /> <br /> In an alternate universe of sorts, Sonichu is shown as an actual [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]-like character fighting an evil madman named [[Robotnik|CWC-Botnik]].<br /> <br /> At the end of Issue #F, Sonichu is no more, taken over by Ian's personality, becoming the dreaded ... '''Chris-Chan Sonichu'''.<br /> <br /> ===Max===<br /> [[Image:Max.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Asperchu's plucky, polyurethane sidekick]] <br /> <br /> Close friend of Asperchu and Jivin. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. His transformations include [[Wikipedia:Guido|Guido]], [[Wikipedia:Waffen SS|Waffen SS]], [[Niggos|2Pac]] and the Yellow Devil.<br /> <br /> At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a Christian minister.<br /> (Max is a completely original character and is not derived from [[Wikipedia:Kirby (character)|any source]] other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.)<br /> <br /> ===Jivin Pickles===<br /> [[Image:Jivin.jpg|thumb|150px|Aww, shit son, Asperchu just got GANGSTA all up in here]] <br /> <br /> The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's [[Niggos|black]] best friend. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his [[Love Quest]], although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward [[sweethearts]], while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of [[Christmas]], Jivin celebrates [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|Kwanzaa]]. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.<br /> <br /> Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode.[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/21069]<br /> <br /> ===Groovan===<br /> Close friend of Max, Asperchu and Jivin. ''Asperchu'' issue Ten claims that they have always been friends, but Asperchu seems to have failed to notice him before then due to him blending in to the background.<br /> <br /> ==Villains==<br /> ===Ian Brandon Anderson===<br /> [[Image:IBAasperchu.png|thumb|150px|left|The evil and deceitful IAN BRANDON SOMETHING]] <br /> <br /> [[Ian]] believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a [[fat]], insane manchild. Ian rules [[CWCville]] through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville People's Liberation Front (CPLF) constantly fights against his oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a perverse form of &quot;[[Dating Education|sexual education]]&quot;. <br /> <br /> This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Mayorshack Tito]]'s takeover and the return of justice to CWCville.<br /> <br /> If he doesn't get his way, he uses his [[Megatron Pistol|Transformers gun]] to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris-chan, and also attempted to murder the &quot;parodic&quot; Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and losing his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.<br /> <br /> In [[1999]], Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at [[Wendy's]] by [[Giovanni]], Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his [[gal-pals]] [[Ivy]] and [[Megan]] before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu for the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his [[comeuppance]] to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning [[Beel|Satan]] to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandoned Bionic and, ten weeks later, gave birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, left his [[duck]] bent at a horrible angle. He later abandoned Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.<br /> <br /> When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly gaining control. As the Asperchu series shares the same universe as ''[[Simonchu]]'' and ''[[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]'', it is said that he was able to con the people into thinking he was the true Christian Weston Chandler. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.<br /> <br /> Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian sought to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Upon attempting to spirit away Asperia, Sonichu blows out his kneecaps (accidentally killing Asperia) and is captured by Bionic. Bionic then uses the mentally unstable Sonichu to butcher his father. Ian finally meets his end with Sonichu's axe and Bionic's gun. As a reward, [[Metal Gear Solid|Bionic grafts Ian's right arm onto Sonichu's stump in place of the one he lost in Issue 3.]]<br /> <br /> However, the soul of Ian lives on within Sonichu and whenever he takes over, he causes Sonichu's eyes to take its heterochromic styling.<br /> <br /> *[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] is a version of Chris based on the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris. Ian's death mirrors that of the deaths of Evan, Sean, and Mao in [[Sonichu 10]].<br /> <br /> ===Bionic the Hedgehog===<br /> [[File:Bionicc.jpg|thumb|149px|Why don't you love me, father?]]<br /> Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, Bionic was a jovial and [[homos|gay]] creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in stuff other than [[ego|himself]] and [[china|women]]. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonald's, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.<br /> <br /> Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily-esque]] fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonald's. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.<br /> <br /> Bionic returns and seemingly reveals his true master plan: by driving Sonichu insane through the revelation of his true parentage, he uses the broken Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to murder Ian Brandon Anderson; in essence, turning his favorite son against him. His plans for the body of the dead Asperia is currently unknown.<br /> <br /> He attempted to help Sonichu with his strange transformation, but Sonichu stopped him and Sinestro, feeling this new form is much better. He is later called in to be a judge[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/482] for Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> *Bionic's condition is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:Christopher Pike|Christopher Pike]], the first captain of ''Star Trek's USS Enterprise'', with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light. His judge outfit resembles that worn by [[Wikipedia:Q (Star Trek)|Q]] in the ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek: The Next Generation|Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' series premiere, &quot;[[Wikipedia:Encounter at Farpoint|Encounter at Farpoint]]&quot; and again in the finale, &quot;[[Wikipedia:All Good Things...|All Good Things...]]&quot;.<br /> *Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on [[Wikipedia:Davros|Davros]], one of the main villains on ''[[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]].''<br /> *Also, Bionic's base is based off a [[dream]] Chris mentioned about people being killed in a &quot;[[Mailbag_39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED]]&quot; factory.<br /> <br /> ===Metal Asperchu===<br /> Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo. <br /> <br /> From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast [[McDonald's|food restaurants]] and killing [[Robotnik|Teddy Roosevelt]]. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bubastis Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes. After killing Cthulu Chu, he figures out the secret of the Fourth Directive and forces Sinestro to watch his work finally unfold. However, after the creation of Argentum and his subsequent turning, Metal Asperchu has gone into a massive blue screen of death. Soon after, WesLi Chu gives Metal Asperchu a disk and he begins scanning seven individuals who are part of the Anchuent Prophecy. He scans Asperchu, WesLi Chu, Sonichu, Chris and two others (presumably Alzheichu and Dino Dash) before the heroes attack him in his attempt to get the last one. He attacks Noir Chu and Aspercream and defeats many of the heroes before Alzheichu stabs him with Chris's knife, briefly causing him to go haywire and explode, destroying him and finally releasing the Chaos Pickles. <br /> <br /> * Based on [[Metal Sonichu]] who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.<br /> <br /> ===Other villains===<br /> <br /> ;Sinestro<br /> As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation. He was recently rescued by Sonichu and Bionic in an attempt to cure Sonichu's odd transformation.<br /> *Sinestro's name comes from a [[Wikipedia:Sinestro|comic-book villain]], while his appearance is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Il Palazzo]] of ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (whose appearance was also copied by Chris for the character [[ScotPalazzo]]), and his hairstyle is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:OrganizationXIII#Xemnas|Xemnas]] of the ''[[Wikipedia:Kingdom Hearts|Kingdom Hearts]]'' series and/or [[Wikipedia:Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)|Sephiroth]] from the [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy|Final Fantasy]] series.<br /> <br /> ;Lisa<br /> A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion. She has recently returned in an attempt to find and retrieve a disk that had been used by Metal Asperchu<br /> *Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart [[Blanca]]. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion. Her asking him out on a fake date is based on the acts of proto-troll [[Hanna]].<br /> <br /> ;John and Kendra<br /> John (YouTube handle: '''GJ-Radar''', &quot;GJ&quot; presumably standing for [[GodJesus]]) is a born-again Baptist from rural Texas; He also represents some of Chris's [[Chris and religion|religious]] beliefs, such as his fear of [[Niggos|darkies]] and [[Homos|homogays]], aside from [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. John and his fiancée '''Kendra''' traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's YouTube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded that he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a YouTube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.<br /> * Based off the [[Singstar Challenge]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. John and Kendra most likely represent [[Liquid]] and [[Kacey]].<br /> <br /> ;Dino Dash<br /> Dino Dash is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.<br /> *Dino Dash is based on [[Clyde Cash]].<br /> <br /> ;Count Plot Cohesuon<br /> Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of ''dei ex machina''.&lt;!--plural of &quot;deus ex machina&quot;--&gt; According to Alec's comments on Issue 5E, Plot Cohesuon is Count Graduon's cousin and he's also dead, having used his powers on himself in an accident.<br /> *Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of [[Count Graduon]] from the original Sonichu comic.<br /> <br /> ;Silvana Rosechu<br /> The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become [[Meg Griffin]] for Ian's pleasure.[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/231] She also has a noticeable bulge.<br /> <br /> ;Yellow Devil<br /> A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is defeated by the real Chris.<br /> *Based on the [[List_of_Mega_Man_characters#Bio-Devil|Yellow Devil]] from the ''Megaman'' game series.<br /> <br /> ==Supporting characters==<br /> <br /> ===Asperchu's family===<br /> <br /> ;Grandpa Alzheichu<br /> Asperchu's grandfather, an [[racist|old-fashioned]] Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do [[stress]]ful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Grandma Snorlax. Alzheichu sacrifices himself to stop Metal Asperchu's assault.<br /> *Alzheichu is based on [[Bob Chandler]].<br /> <br /> ;Grandma Snorlax<br /> <br /> Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost her left foot due to Asperia's hunger.<br /> *&quot;[[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]&quot; is the nickname given to [[Barbara Chandler]].<br /> <br /> ;Asperia Chu<br /> <br /> The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]] in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.<br /> <br /> In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's [[pedofork]] tendencies. He also describes her as &quot;the pinnacle of his existence&quot;, attributing to his own narcissism.<br /> <br /> Sadly, Asperia is the latest victim of Ian Brandon Anderson's evils. Having been kidnapped by the madmanchild, she is accidentally killed by a vengeful Sonichu in his attempts to get back at him. However, Bionic recovers her body, and it is heavily implied he has plans for her since he sympathizes with having a neglectful father.<br /> <br /> *Asperia Chu is based on [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her &quot;father's.&quot; Also, Asperia's [[Wikipedia:Alien (creature in Alien franchise)|&quot;Alien&quot; appearance]] may be a jab at the [[Sonee and Rosey]] designs which have horrified many.<br /> <br /> ===[[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)|The Chaotic Combo]]===<br /> *'''Wild Sonichu''' is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.<br /> <br /> *'''Angelica Rosechu''' uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.<br /> <br /> *'''Punchy Sonichu''' is the master of the &quot;anshuent Chinaman martial arts.&quot; He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.<br /> <br /> *'''Bubbles Rosechu''' is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely [[retarded|slow-in-the-mind]] and is prone to injuring herself.<br /> <br /> *'''Magi-Chan Sonichu''' uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and [[Mass debate]] to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.<br /> <br /> Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.<br /> <br /> ===Christian Weston Chandler===<br /> [[Image:RealcwcAsperchu.png|thumb|150px|The TRUE and HONEST CWC (also the true and honest medallion)]] <br /> <br /> Sonichu's father and creator, Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert &quot;The Lumberjack&quot; Chandler]] and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.<br /> <br /> In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokémon to be the creature who he was now.<br /> <br /> It's been revealed that Chris is the avatar of the Chaos Pickle of Patience.<br /> <br /> *Christian Chandler is based on [[Liquid Chris]]. The knife he carries is based on [[Sonichu Special 4]].<br /> <br /> ===Argentum===<br /> <br /> The end result of Metal Asperchu's experiments, it is the Asperchu clone that has its fourth directive unlocked. It has the ability to warp spacetime and seems to be capable of feeding off the pain of others.<br /> <br /> *Argentum's design is a mixture of the Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]] and Sonic the Hedgehog character [[Wikipedia:Silver the Hedgehog|Silver the Hedgehog]], but may have been inspired by [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|Mewchu]]. His name is Latin for &quot;silver&quot;.<br /> <br /> ===Other characters===<br /> ;Heaven Fatterton<br /> <br /> Lisa's accomplice and a fat ginger. She pretends to be Lisa during Asperchu's date so that she can steal the Asperchu medallion while Lisa films the date for blackmail. When her wig falls of, Asperchu is to dense to realize she's a phony and instead thinks there's two Lisas when the real Lisa shows up. Heaven has a thinner, bustier sister named Hortense who was killed by [[Bob Chandler]] for getting close to Chris-Chan.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Chu]]<br /> <br /> Sonichu's cousin. He's a [[Homos|gay]] hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is &quot;Razzle-dazzle&quot;. When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noir Chu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him. <br /> <br /> Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]] in ''[[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]''.<br /> <br /> *Mitch Chu is based on [[Mitch Sonichu]], Chris's take on Asperchu's &quot;EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER&quot; in [[Sonichu 10]]. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.<br /> <br /> ;Simonchu<br /> <br /> Although [[Simonchu]] stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.<br /> <br /> ;Dixie Chu<br /> <br /> The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie has been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining &quot;Dix&quot; as his sweetheart. She recently returned to testify against Asperchu in his trial<br /> <br /> * Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's [[gal-pals]], but is probably more centered on [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Kacey]].<br /> <br /> ;Jonas Chu<br /> <br /> Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by &quot;cheating&quot; by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.<br /> <br /> He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.<br /> <br /> * May have been based off the events from [[CWC More Than A Feeling]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. His waistcoast and name derive from the [[Wikipedia:Jonas brothers|Jonas brothers]].<br /> <br /> ;Denubius King<br /> <br /> His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He is a [[niggo|black]] kingpin in pimp attire and carries a pimp cane with an afro on it, called the &quot;Staff of Suffrage&quot;. He kidnaps Jivin's father and tries to steal the Pickles family farm to get his hands on the Chaos Pickle they're guarding, but is foiled by Jivin.<br /> <br /> ;Bullet-Time Montgomery.<br /> <br /> First appeared in the Jivin Sub-Episode. He works for Denubius King and is a crack-shot with a revolver. Denubius orders him to kill Jivin, but Jivin knocks him out with &quot;Deus ex BLACKina&quot;. He later reappears as a juror at Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> ;[[Rosechu]]<br /> Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she [[pickle|can satisfy his needs]], which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him. It's later revealed that Rosechu cheats on Sonichu all the time; she's also banged Punchy, Naitsirhc, and even Dino Dash. She is later used as a gamble chip to win back Sonichu, but it proves ineffective.<br /> <br /> *Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after events in the [[Mailbag]].<br /> <br /> ;Whispy Sonichu<br /> <br /> Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being Oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.<br /> <br /> ;Larry D. Waltz<br /> <br /> Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with [[niggos|an African-American]] in exchange for a mysterious disc. When the disk is later stolen by WesLi Chu, he appoints Lisa to get it back. He nearly gets his head taken off by one of Asperchu's Asper-Ha-Me-Has.<br /> *Larry is based on [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has a resemblance to [[Jimmy Hill]].<br /> <br /> ;Sitting Chu<br /> <br /> Sitting Chu is the head of ALBville's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu.<br /> *Sitting Chu is based off of the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]].<br /> <br /> ;Jimarcus Chu<br /> <br /> A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.<br /> *Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on [[Inos]] and his physical appearance is based off of [http://www.grandtheftwiki.com/Little_Jacob Little Jacob]. His name is derived from [[Wikipedia:Jamaica|Jamaica]] and [[Wikipedia:Marcus Garvey|Marcus Garvey]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Doctor Robotnik]]<br /> <br /> It seems that the once-feared nemesis of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a [[McDonald's]]. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to ''seriously'' pay for a $31 meal with food stamps worth $10. He is then killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.<br /> <br /> ;Megan and Ivy<br /> <br /> Two of the younger Ian's [[gal-pals]]. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have [[hanky panky]] only to be tazed by Megan.<br /> <br /> * Megan and Ivy are based off of [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Ivy]].<br /> <br /> ;Principal Blaziken<br /> The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.<br /> * Principal Blaziken is based off [[Sonichu 10]]'s Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.<br /> <br /> ;[[Sammy]]<br /> A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in [[Cwc-isms|odd phrases]]. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle. He later returns, alive and well, as a cushion for Asperchu's fall.<br /> *While he is obviously modeled after [[Sammy]] from ''Sonichu'' (who was in turn a ripoff of [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]), he's also taken on some traits from ''Homestar Runner'' character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted &quot;word salads&quot; and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as &quot;All aboard the Gravy Train!&quot;<br /> <br /> ;Bubastis Chu<br /> Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's [[Capering Berries]] in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film ''Watchmen'', and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.<br /> <br /> ;[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]<br /> Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler was his sister. And being the massive [[Chris and ego|narcissist]] that he is, believed that his ideal partner was [[incest|his closest genetic match]]. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a [[Pedofork|thong]].<br /> *Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.<br /> <br /> ;Mayorshack Tito<br /> The new democratically-elected mayor of [[CWCville]] after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's [[niggo|black]].<br /> *Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll [[Surfshack Tito]], who gets his name from Tito Makani Jr. of ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. Mayorshack Tito's appearance is also based on Tito Makani Jr.<br /> <br /> ;Noir Chu and Aspercream<br /> [[File:Noir.jpg|thumb|Noir is fed up with this shit.]]<br /> Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaunn into the mix. However, DeShaunn's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the Albville Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. After being banished by Sinestro for losing Noir Chu, Aspercream ran off to Albville where she was reunited with Noir. When Sonichu ran off to find Ian, Noir Chu takes Asperchu to find and stop them, with Aspercream pleading not to get hurt, SOMEHOW knowing that it was Asperchu who got Magi-Chan killed. Both Noir Chu and Aspercream are wounded in Metal Asperchu's rampage, but survive.<br /> * Noir Chu is based on [[Blake]]. Aspercream resembles [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]].<br /> <br /> ;Princess [[Julie]]<br /> <br /> One of the members of the [[Molvanîa]]n Royal Family. She and the others have strong ties with the Rebels of CWCVille.<br /> <br /> * Princess Julie is based off of the infamous troll of the same name. Her design, however, is based off of [[Wikipedia: Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]] of ''King of the Hill''.<br /> <br /> ;[[Crackder]]<br /> <br /> One of Ian's attempts at making sentient war machines. However, it is slow-in-the-mind, rambles off random-access humor and is against war. Asperchu hates him because he's a slow-in-the-mind.<br /> <br /> *Crackder is based off of the Decepticon Chris created of the same name.<br /> <br /> ;[[Yawning Squirtle]]<br /> <br /> We don't know how the hell he got off the [[Moon]], but he's off of it and still smoking it up. It was revealed that he was Mayorshack Tito's opponent in the CWCville elections, and currently works as an attorney. His hated rival is Lewis Croagunk, who opposed him in Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mimms]] and Lucas<br /> <br /> Two patrons of the Brass Dragon. Mimms sports a wicked green 'fro.<br /> <br /> *Both Mimms and Lucas are based off of the CWC informants who frequented the GAMe PLACe. Lucas's design resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Lucas (Mother)|the character of the same name from the ''Mother'' series]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Rocky]]<br /> <br /> A mysterious squirrel with green antenna. He calls Asperchu &quot;dum-dum&quot; and tries to steer him in the opposite direction to make him blameless. In actuality, Rocky is MIPS 09, attempting to steer Asperchu into fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.<br /> *While Rocky's design and speech resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Rocky the Flying Squirrel]] of the ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' cartoons and [[Wikipedia:The Great Gazoo|The Great Gazoo]] of ''The Flintstones'', the creature is also a parody of [[Rocky Shoemaker]], Chris's pastoral counselor (although the real Rocky is not as indulgent as the ''Asperchu'' Rocky). <br /> <br /> ;[[Jimmy Hill]]<br /> <br /> Ruler of Molvanîa and Princess Julie's father. Enjoys playing Pokémon trading-card games. When he finds out of Julie's capture, he opts to move out to save her.<br /> <br /> *Jimmy Hill resembles the old man used in the earlier Chris trolling schemes, but his mannerisms match more of Hank Hill of ''King of the Hill''.<br /> <br /> ;Lewis Croagunk<br /> <br /> The prosecutor for Asperchu's trial. It is revealed that he is old rivals with Yawning Squirtle and he seems to be a very competent lawyer. Oddly, for a Croagunk, he has a human's head.<br /> <br /> *Lewis Croagunk may be a parody of Chris's various court-based characters from ''Sonichu 10''.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Croagunk|Croagunk]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].<br /> <br /> ;Prison inmates<br /> <br /> A gathering of the biggest, baddest villains and other faces from various TV shows, including Skullmaster of ''Mighty Max'', Krang from the 1980s ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' cartoons, Tohru, Finn, and Ratso from ''Jackie Chan Adventures'', and an assortment of Pokémon (most notably a rapist Poliwrath). <br /> <br /> ;Warden Clawdorf<br /> <br /> Warden of the prison Asperchu is locked up in. He's a real [[niggos|black]] [[duck|dick]].<br /> <br /> *[[Clawdorf]] is [[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s archnemesis in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] who appears only in a silhouette, which inadvertently resembles a penis with arms. ''Asperchu'' Clawdorf parodies this.<br /> <br /> ;Gumby<br /> <br /> One of children's lovable creations was an inmate in the jail after accidentally killing a child inside a book. He had converted to Christianity and attempted to do so with Asperchu, but only got him to create his own Bible with him as the Son of God. He is wiped from existence after Asperchu leaves him inside his book.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Gumby|Gumby]] was a [[REAL Protest against the FAKE|C-L-A-Y]] character created by Art Clokey.<br /> ;Asperchoso<br /> <br /> Asperchu's avatar in his &quot;Second Greatest Story Ever Told&quot;. The paragon of manliness and a Son of God, he prevents others from getting girlfriends by blowing their kneecaps out.<br /> <br /> *Asperchoso's name is derived from the Rabbichosos from [[Vivian Gee]]'s &quot;[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]&quot; story. His actions are similar to Chris's in [[Sonichu Special 4]], when he blows Liquid Chris's kneecaps off.<br /> <br /> ;Poliwrath<br /> <br /> A hardened criminal who tried to [[rape|make Asperchu his bitch]] upon his arrival. However, after Asperchu and Gumby escaped into Asperchu's book, he quickly became a convert to Asperchu's &quot;religion&quot;.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Poliwrath|Poliwrath]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].<br /> <br /> ===4-Cent_Garbage Center residents===<br /> <br /> ;[[Naitsirhc]]<br /> <br /> Naitsirhc has a brief cameo in the 4-Cent_Garbage Center that Argentum recreates. He is seen alongside [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. He attempts to get Sonichu to calm down, but ends up getting his neck snapped by the hedgehog.<br /> <br /> *Unbelievably, Naitsirhc in Asperchu looks ''[[Homos|even gayer]]'', as he sports earrings and crotchless chaps.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mary Lee Walsh]]<br /> <br /> Another one of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. When Sonichu tears apart the building, she and Count Graduon go and unleash Joshua Martinez.<br /> <br /> *Mary's design in Asperchu borrows largely from ''[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|Final Fantasy VIII]]'' villain Ultimecia.<br /> <br /> ;[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]<br /> Owner of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. His appearance is identical to that in Sonichu. When he confronts ''Sonichu'', he is killed in the same manner Rosechu attacked him.<br /> <br /> ;[[Clyde Cash]]<br /> Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by [[:Image:325504_-_Chris-chan_clyde_cash.jpg|this piece of fanart.]] According to Asperpedia's article on Clyde, he, [[Brian Bash]] and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past. Clyde Cash makes another appearance, this time in the 4-Cent Garbage tower. When Plautistic captures Sonichu, Clyde and Jack go to finish Sonichu. Clyde is shown wearing Spider-Man's pants and boots and is able to shoot webbing from his hands.<br /> <br /> *Clyde's design is based off of the picture Chris found of Clyde (actually a photo of Joe Hotti). His having Spider-Man powers is based off of [[No More Jokes|the set of videos trying to troll Clyde]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Jack Thaddeus]]<br /> Seen in the 4-Cent Garbage Tower alongside Clyde Cash. His appearance is similar to that in Sonichu. He uses the Goblin Glider and Pumpkin Bombs of [[Wikipedia:Norman Osborn|the Green Goblin]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Count Graduon]]<br /> One of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance resembles a [[duck|penis]]. When Sonichu tears apart the building, he and Mary Lee Walsh free Joshua Martinez. When the creature is destroyed, Joshua tosses him aside.<br /> <br /> ;Chief Boyd<br /> One of the heads of the COProtectors. Is brutally murdered by Sonichu.<br /> *Based on the [[Jerkhief]] from ''Sonichu''; &quot;COProtectors&quot; is an inversion of &quot;[[jerkop]]&quot;.<br /> <br /> ;[[Bagget]]<br /> Head of security at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. A no-nonsense type of guy, Bagget tries to get Asperchu to reveal where Sonichu is before the hedgehog confronts the two of them. Sadly, Bagget falls to Sonichu.<br /> <br /> ;[[Wall of Originals|Plautistic]]<br /> A mysterious creature held by those within the 4-Cent Garbage Building bonded with Joshua Martinez When Sonichu goes on a rampage, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon release it. The creature resembles the mythical creature Hydra. Its leaves can be smoked as a type of [[Tobacky|drug]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Joshua Martinez]]<br /> A Mexican who was once bonded with Plautistic. In the heat of battle, Sonichu tears him from Plautistic, then tears his head off.<br /> <br /> ;[[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wesli Chu]]<br /> A hedgehog working within the 4-Cent Garbage Building. ACTUALLY knows magic, including his own Anchuent power, Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha. He's such a manly man, he can even make full-on [[Megagi|bull dykes]] crave his [[duck]]. After escaping the destruction of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, the MIPS made him give a data CD to Metal Asperchu. Shortly after, his memory was wiped. It has been revealed that he holds the Chaos Pickle of Chastity.<br /> <br /> ;[[Giovanni]]<br /> The feared leader of [[Team Rocket]] and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again. Years later, he takes up residence at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When his son is killed by Sonichu's hand, he confronts Sonichu, using a small army of Pokémon to stop him. Sonichu uses said Pokémon to kill Giovanni, mostly by impaling him with them.<br /> <br /> ;[[CADD Chef]]<br /> <br /> Killed in the destruction of 4-cent.<br /> <br /> ;[[Michael Snyder]]<br /> A Jewish magician working for the MIPS. He also runs [[The GAMe PLACe|The Brass Dragon]] and is frustrated by Sonichu's attempts to trade a rare Black Lotus card with a ''Pokémon Ruby'' cartridge. He was responsible for helping Jack and Clyde escape.<br /> <br /> ;MIPS<br /> <br /> Self-aware supercomputers that help run 4-Cent. Michael Snyder reports directly to them and contacts them by pickle-phone. He asks them to help evacuate the building, but they claim they're using up all their resources to [[100 2178|control the realtors]]. They are capable of meeting anywhere, including in space. They are keenly interested in fulfilling the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].<br /> *MIPS are a personification of Chris's paranoid belief in a [[100 2178|conspiracy by the Greene County school board]] to keep his family in Ruckersville so he can stay in his &quot;autistic shell&quot;. MIPS is speculated to stand for &quot;[[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Men In Pickle Suits]]&quot;.<br /> <br /> ;[[ScotPalazzo]]<br /> <br /> Killed in the destruction of 4cent.<br /> <br /> ;[[Megagi]] Chu<br /> A purple lesbian skunk who broke Sonichu's heart in the past and has orgies with Saramah Chu, Jiggliami and even Wes-Li. Is killed with Saramah Chu's torn off arms, taunting him to then end.<br /> <br /> ;[[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Chu]]<br /> A yellow Rosechu who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. Her arms are ripped off, the trauma killing her. However, after the destruction of Metal Asperchu, her Chaos Pickle, Temperance, returned to her and revived and restored her.<br /> <br /> ;[[Jiggliami]]<br /> A pink Jigglypuff humanoid who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. She is killed when Sonichu punches through her head.<br /> <br /> ===Chaos Pickles===<br /> <br /> The Chaos Pickles are seven magical items of great power. According to Chris, the pickles are within seven special people and, should they be removed, they enable its user to be revived and restored once they are freed again.<br /> <br /> {| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Image<br /> !Color<br /> ! Trait<br /> ! Location<br /> !Avatar<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-violet.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Purple<br /> |Kindness<br /> |Owned by the Pickles family; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Lovely Weather<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-blue.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Blue<br /> |Temperance<br /> |Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu<br /> |Saramah Chu<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-green.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Green<br /> |Patience<br /> |Owned by Flame the Sunbird; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Christian Weston Chandler<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-pink.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Pink<br /> |Charity<br /> |Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu in return for murdering Robotnik<br /> |Megan<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-orange.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Orange<br /> |Chastity<br /> |Owned by Sammy; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Wesli Chu<br /> |-<br /> | – <br /> |Yellow<br /> |Diligence<br /> |Inside Asperchu<br /> |Asperchu<br /> |-<br /> | – <br /> |Red<br /> |Humility<br /> | -<br /> |Ian Brandon Anderson<br /> |}<br /> <br /> *The Chaos Pickles parody the [[Sonichu Balls]]. They are each named for one of the [[Wikipedia:Seven virtues#Seven heavenly virtues|seven heavenly virtues]].<br /> <br /> ==Locations==<br /> <br /> ===Alzheichu's Home===<br /> This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, back-breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an [[Hex Bawx|XBox 360]], which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant [[stress]], since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.<br /> * A parody of [[Tour of Chris's house|Chris's house]].<br /> <br /> ===The Brass Dragon===<br /> A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart. Michael Snyder runs the shop. Asperchu is now officially banned from the store for trying to steal a rare card.<br /> * This is a parody of [[The GAMe PLACe]].<br /> <br /> ===Pickles Ranch===<br /> Home of Jivin and Dick Pickles, who owned a Chaos Pickle before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.<br /> *Resembles the Skywalker farm from [[Wikipedia:Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope|''Star Wars'']].<br /> <br /> ===[[CWCville]]===<br /> Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into [[dating education|brothels]] as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to [[Liquid|Chris's]] efforts, and [[Surfshack Tito|Mayorshack Tito]] won the first CWCville election in years.<br /> <br /> ===Albville===<br /> Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with [[Evan|ECGville]] during a brief war with old [[CWCville|RFCville]] and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, who has since disappeared in [[Sonichu 10|mysterious circumstances]].<br /> <br /> ===Bionic's fortress===<br /> [[Bionic]]'s base of operations, which was abandoned when [[Liquid|Chris]] came to Sonichu's rescue.<br /> *Based on [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily's]] fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED factory]] where [[Tobacky|smokers]] were murdered.<br /> <br /> ===[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent_Garbage Center]]===<br /> The remnants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's [[trolls|&quot;Undesirables&quot;]] and he [[Twin Falling Towers|flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building]] to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered &quot;Ian's most terrible legacy&quot;. Argentum brings Sonichu and Asperchu to the restored Center, where Sonichu climbs the building to confront his father. It is revealed that Ian's airplane did jack shit and it was Sonichu's Roaring Rampage of Revenge that caused the destruction in the first place. Ian was probably blamed for it because he was the only one still alive to take the blame. It is also revealed that it was destroyed during the Chaotic Funeral.<br /> *The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is a combination of [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu_10#Rage_Against_the_Garbage_2:_Electric_Boogaloo|Rage Against the Garbage 2]] and an infamous Chris video mocking [[Clyde]] by comparing him to [[Twin Falling Towers|the destruction of the World Trade Center]].<br /> <br /> ===Molvanîa===<br /> <br /> An oddball East European country. Home of the MIPS and the survivors of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center survivors.<br /> *[[Molvanîa]] was the home of [[Julie]] and [[Max]], named after a fictional East European country created by Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch.<br /> <br /> ==Issues==<br /> Thus far, sixteen issues (and one Sub-Episode) of ''Asperchu'' have been released. The confusing issue numbering (0–0A–0B–C–1–2–3–3D–4–5–5E–6–7–8–F–Ten) is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which began its issue numbering with [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and then complicated the matter with numbered &quot;Episodes&quot; and &quot;Sub-Episodes&quot; (so [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] is the fourth issue, and contains Episodes 10 and 11 and Sub-Episode 4).<br /> ===List of issues===<br /> <br /> {|class=&quot;wikitable&quot;<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Cover<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; colspan=&quot;2&quot; | Issue<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Title<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Plot summary<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:a0.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #0<br /> |''ASPERCHU'S First Date... and his first villain!''<br /> | Asperchu goes on a date with Lisa, and is tricked into having his medallion stolen.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Asperchu, Max, Jivin Pickles, Lisa, Heaven.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 0A Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue 0A<br /> | ''The challenge of TRUE Piety''<br /> | Asperchu makes a video attacking the trolls, provoking the ire of Christian couple Kendra and John. Grandpa Alzheichu refuses to let Jivin enter his house. John confronts Asperchu over his unChristian attitudes; Asperchu retaliates by forging a new medallion. Lisa tells John that she stole the original medallion.&lt;br&gt; ''First appearance of Grandpa Alzheichu, Sitting Chu, Jormungand.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Calvin, Kendra, John, Micah, Benny Chu, W.E.B. Dubois, various Normandale students.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:JIVIN_Issue_0_Page_1.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;black&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Jivin Sub-Episode<br /> | ''Jivin's first solo adventure!''<br /> | Jivin's father is captured by Denubius King, but Jivin rescues him. It turns out that the Pickles family owns one of the fabled Chaos Pickles.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Dick Pickles, Bullet-Time Montgomery.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Denubius King.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 0B Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue 0B<br /> | ''Swords and Axes... the Duel of Ages!''<br /> | Jonas Chu defeats Asperchu in a ''Guitar Hero'' tournament, then is kidnapped by Dino Dash. Jivin fails to seduce Dixie. Asperchu makes a weak attempt at impersonating Jonas on YouTube, then fails to prevent Dixie's abduction.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Grandma Snorlax, Sonichu, Dixie Chu, Dino Dash, Sinestro, Jonas Chu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue C Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue C<br /> | ''Things are coming to a head!''<br /> | Asperchu is kidnapped by Sinestro, who has created many Asperchu clones. &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Christian Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Metal Asperchu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Autischu, Down Chu, XXY Chu.'' <br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 1 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue #1<br /> | ''The big leagues.''<br /> | Metal seizes Simonchu's drill medallion. Sonichu introduces Asperchu to the Chaotic Combo, and Magi-Chan enters a trance in order to track down Metal - but Asperchu makes him find Dixie instead. Wild tells of the oppression wreaked by Mayor Anderson. Metal takes the first Chaos Pickle from the Pickles family. Sinestro creates Noir Chu and (accidentally) Aspercream. The Combo fight Metal Asperchu, who kills three of them and then finds the second Pickle in a mysterious skull-shaped factory.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Simonchu, Bubbles, Larry D. Waltz, Magi-Chan, Noir Chu, Aspercream, Mitch Chu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Punchy, Angelica, and Wild.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 2 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #2<br /> | ''The quest for the Chaos Pickles continues.''<br /> | The funeral of Punchy, Angelica and Wild takes place. Metal Asperchu forces the second Chaos Pickle from Bionic, who tells him the owner of the third Pickle: Flame the Sunbird. Rosechu and Simonchu hook up at the funeral (despite Magi-Chan's love for Simonchu), while a confused Noir Chu confronts his clone-brother Asperchu. Mitch Chu brings Noir and Asperchu to Sitting Chu's Soup Hotel in ALBville, where Noir gives up his gun and they meet the Basement Rosechus. Asperchu is kicked out for eating the homeless's food, and attempts to buy a McDonald's meal with food stamps. Metal kills Robotnik in return for Bionic giving him the fourth Chaos Pickle. Silvana murders Bubbles and hacks into Magi-Chan's computer. Bionic then asks that Metal Asperchu bring him Christian Weston Chandler - alive.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Rosechu, Bionic, Silvana.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Whispy, Thomas Jefferson, Flame the Sunbird, Jimarcus Chu, Officer Louis Perez, Moe Chu, Brit-Tay Rosechu, Mary Rosechu, Rosee.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Ivo Robotnik.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Bubbles.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 3 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #3<br /> |'' Taking the battle to the enemy.''<br /> | Sinestro and Waltz unsuccessfully interrogate Aspercream to find out Noir Chu's location. Sonichu 'n' pals try to liberate CWCville. Magi-Chan is murdered by Silvana, who brings Asperchu to Ian Brandon Anderson. Sonichu, Mitch and Simonchu confront IBA, but then Metal breaks in and cuts off Sonichu's hand. Ian enters his Son-Chu suit and fights back. He cripples Metal Asperchu, but is then is set on fire by Metal and thrown from his tower. Metal then activates his four Chaos Pickles and takes on a new form.&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of IBA's legion of Sonichus.''&lt;br&gt;''Last appearance of Silvana.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Magi-Chan.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 3D Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #3D<br /> | ''Travel through the third dimension... Time!''<br /> | Asperchu, Max and Jivin have been sent back to 1999. 1999-Ian takes them to Manchester High School, and beats up the modern IBA. Bionic then appears and talks to the trio. 1999-Ian molests Ivy, is tasered by Megan and then meets Blaziken, who tries to molest him. Bionic kills Blaziken, but Asperchu claims credit. A distraught Bionic attempts suicide, but Jivin saves him. 1999-Ian mixes Asperchu's comeuppance with his own to create Sonichu. The two Ians then fight, their Curse-ye-ha-me-has crossing to knock our heroes back to their own time. In 2000, Ian gives birth to Sonichu, while in the modern day, Metal Asperchu confronts Asperchu and Ian.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Bill the Scientist, Megan.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Ian's boss, Ivy, Satan.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Principal Blaziken.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 4 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue #4<br /> | ''Metal and glass...''<br /> | Asperchu reveals to Sonichu than Ian is his true father. Metal Asperchu takes the fifth Chaos Pickle from Sammy. Asperchu craps out Asperia. Metal demands that Sinestro tell him what the &quot;fourth directive&quot; is. Sonichu, Simonchu and Mitch break into Ian's cell in order to find Sonichu's true origin. Simonchu is captured by Bionic. Asperia eats Grandma Snorlax's foot. Max defeats the Yellow Devil, then Christian Weston Chandler arrives. Bionic shoots Mitch and flees.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Yellow Devil, Cthulhu Chu, Sammy.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Bubastis Chu.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Mitch Chu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 5 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #5<br /> | ''The end of one, beginning of another.''<br /> | Ian Brandon Anderson realizes that Asperchu was the part-creator of Sonichu. Mayorshack Tito is the new Mayor of CWCville - CWC shows Asperchu the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, and tells Sonichu that Ian is his real father. In a rage, Sonichu hunts down his father, shooting Ian in both knees. The Yellow Devil captures Sonichu, Noir Chu and Asperchu, and brings them to Bionic. Metal Asperchu realizes that the &quot;fourth directive&quot; will work on an immature Asperchu clone. Bionic goads Sonichu into killing IBA, and he accidentally shoots Asperia. Metal creates Argentum, who rebuilds the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Sonichu climbs the 4-Cent_Garbage Center in order to gain revenge on his father.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Argentum, Slaweel the Witch, Naitsirhc, Jack Thaddeus, Mayorshack Tito, Jason Kendrick Howell.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Cthulhu Chu, Ian Brandon Anderson, Asperia.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 5E Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #5E<br /> | ''A bloody fight.''<br /> | Sonichu fights his way up the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, killing Naitsirhc, Jerkops, Jason Kendrick Howell and Bagget, before being attacked by Plautistic, Jack Thaddeus, Clyde Cash and Joshua Martinez. Sonichu then aims to kill Asperchu, only to be interrupted by Wes-Li Chu, who shows him some &quot;magic&quot;. Giovanni then battles Sonichu with his elite Pokémon, who Sonichu defeats. He then reaches &quot;WesLi Chu's Luv Shack&quot;, where Megagi Chu, Saramah and Jiggliami mock him and are murdered by him. Sonichu fights Wes-Li again, but is teleported to the top of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, where he fights Slaweel, who transforms into an Ultimecia-style dragon. Asperchu accidentally kills her by throwing his Xbox Portable into her mouth. The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is destroyed, and Sonichu realizes that Asperchu is also his father.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Michael Snyder, MIPS, Saramah Chu, Wesli Chu, Blazebob Sonichu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Giovanni, Plautistic, Count Graduon, CADD Chef, Shuckle, Metapod, Castform, Delibird.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Jerkops, Bagget, Joshua Martinez, Megagi Chu, Jiggliami.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Naitsirhc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Slaweel the Witch.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 6 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #6<br /> |''Darkness fears not the Heart.''<br /> | Wesli Chu is imprisoned in Molvanîa by the MIPS. CWC sends Asperchu and Jivin to Molvanîa to find him. Yawning Squirtle is recovered from the wreckage of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Wesli steals a mysterious disk from the Dean and gives it to Metal Asperchu, who tells him to kill Argentum. Asperchu 'n' pals go to the Brass Dragon, owned by Michael Snyder. Metal Asperchu scans several people, and then fights our heroes at the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Grandpa Alzheichu dies in defeating Metal.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Princess Julie, Yawning Squirtle.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Crackder, Punislav Royal Guard, GameStop boss.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Noir Chu, Grandpa Alzheichu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 7 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue 7<br /> | ''Excuses, excuses, excuses...''<br /> | The MIPS plan to set up Asperchu to fulfill the Prophecy. Asperchu meets Heaven in a bar, drinks a beer and decides to take a photograph of Snyder for his dartboard. He attempts vehicular homicide of Snyder, Perez and Grant, and is arrested for causing minor injuries to Michael Snyder. Meanwhile, Bionic tries to cure Sonichu of his possession by Ian, and they seek out Sinestro's help. A squirrel named Rocky tells him that nothing is his fault and that his Asperger's excuses everything. CWC bails him out, but Asperchu demands an apology for being left to wait THREE HOURS at the police station. Asperchu is thrown from their tower, landing on Sammy, and the liberators of CWCville go back to searching for survivors from the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. They recover Saramah Chu, who is somehow still alive. Christian Weston Chandler says that the seven Chaos Pickles are &quot;artifacts of supreme power and energy&quot;, and that they have attached themselves to seven &quot;avatars&quot; in order to remain stable in this universe. It is revealed that Asperchu, CWC, Wesli Chu, Saramah Chu and Sonichu are five of the avatars, and two are unknown. Also, Rocky is revealed to the reader to be one of the MIPS. Chris decides to lead a unit to retrieve Sonichu's Pickle. Heaven and Lisa kidnap Asperchu and bring him to Dean Waltz in a bid to retrieve the information that Metal Asperchu gave to the MIPS. Sonichu feels ecstatic after his Pickle is activated. When Chris, Rosechu and Julie come to speak to him, he has them imprisoned; Sonichu seems to have become insane. Meanwhile, Asperchu attacks the Dean with his Asperhameha, and is arrested again. Max and Jivin visit him. Jimmy Hill, King of Molvanîa, is enraged by his daughter Julie's capture, and plans to rescue her.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of &quot;Rocky&quot;.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of GAMe PLACe kids, Gerald Grant.'' <br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 8 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #8<br /> |''Trial by fire!''<br /> | Asperchu unwisely hires Yawning Squirtle to defend him. The jury consists of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu, Chloe Rosechu and the clerk from Issue 0, while Lewis Croagunk prosecutes. Squirtle makes the feeble counter-defense that Snyder was planning to break into Asperchu's house, pour Wite-Out on his playing cards and wipe his hard drive, but has nothing to back this allegation up with. Sonichu appears as witness, and says that Asperchu is innocent. &quot;Rocky&quot; convinces Asperchu to dismiss his lawyer and represent himself. Sonichu and Asperchu begin a pointless argument as to who is &quot;true and honest&quot;, and Sonichu freaks out and flees the courtroom. Jimmy Hill breaks into the courtroom and retrieves his daughter Julie. Asperchu receives life imprisonment. Sonichu appears to have absorbed too much of Ian's personality, and is thrown from Fort Grosse by Argentum.&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Lewis Croagunk, Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Chloe Rosechu.''&lt;br&gt;''Last appearance of Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue F Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #F<br /> | '' Three guesses what the F stands for...''<br /> | Argentum has sent Chris, Sonichu, Sinestro and Bionic to bizarre worlds. <br /> *Chris sees a perfect Sonichu facing CWC-Botnik, whom he easily kills. Chris realizes that this is not the real Sonichu, as he has no idea who Benny Chu (from ''Asperchu'' #0A) was.<br /> *A now-mobile Bionic finds himself the beloved son of a &quot;Rollin' and Trollin'&quot;-style Ian Brandon Anderson. Chris releases him from the fantasy world.<br /> * Sinestro is met by Naitsirhc, who brings him to Slaweel. Sinestro realizes that all this is false. Mary offers him the sixth and seventh Chaos Pickle, but Sinestro realizes that it's an illusion. He punches a hole in reality and goes to meet CWC. The avatars of the final two Pickles emerge: Megan and Lovely Weather. Argentum goes to seek the other avatars.<br /> *The diseased Sonichu struggles through a strange forest to confront the deceased Mitch Chu, who reminds Sonichu of all the evil he did in Ian's name. Sonichu becomes completed possessed by Ian's essence, becoming... Chris-Chan Sonichu.<br /> <br /> Meanwhile, in the real world, Asperchu finds prison life difficult - he is attacked by a Skullmaster and almost raped by a Poliwrath, but saved by Gumby, who decides to protect him and teach him to be a Christian. Asperchu rewrites the Bible as ''Asperchoso''. Gumby then introduces Asperchu to Jesus Himself, but Asperchu isn't very interested. Asperchu and Gumby escape the other prisoners by jumping into ''Asperchoso''. Once there, Asperchoso shoots Gumby in the shins, and Asperchu escapes the book. Poliwrath becomes a devotee of Asperchoso, and Asperchu erases Gumby from the Book, killing him.<br /> <br /> Chris and Julie arrive to break Asperchu out of prison, in order to protect him and his Chaos Pickle from Argentum.<br /> <br /> Meanwhile, Bionic creates a holographic version of the Ian who loves him.<br /> &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Lovely Weather.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of CWC-Botnik, Skullmaster, Krang, Blaziken, Poliwrath, Jesus, Asperchoso, various prisoners.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Gumby, Warden Clawdorf.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:A10.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue Ten<br /> |''It's time.''<br /> | Issue Ten has begun with Asperchu describing &quot;LITTLE BIG AUTISM&quot;, in which he talks of [[Asperger's syndrome]] in ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''. He awakes on Julie's airship and the coalition aims to defeat Argentum.<br /> &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Groovan.''<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == References ==<br /> &lt;references /&gt;<br /> ==External links==<br /> *[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ ''Asperchu'' site]<br /> *[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia](Site down)<br /> <br /> [[Category:Fan]]<br /> [[Category:Fan art]]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Asperchu/Background&diff=219324 2018-04-22T04:03:24Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* Asperchu */</p> <hr /> <div>:''This article is about &quot;Asperchu&quot;, a very well-thought-out webcomic.&lt;br /&gt;For Chris's views and such and all that, see [[Asperchu]].''<br /> <br /> &lt;center&gt;{{#ev:youtube|yHXBFT6G5c0}}&lt;/center&gt;<br /> <br /> {{Quote|I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|rejection]], tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic [[Wikipedia:Bizarro World|bizzaro]] [[Chris]].|An anon on [[/cwc/]], summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.}}<br /> <br /> {{quote|I detest &quot;Asperchu&quot;, because one, it is a [[Parody]] of a [[Sonichu]] with [[aspergers]], which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like [[autism]], then the creator really knows nothing about Autism.|Chris&lt;ref&gt;[[Mailbag 24]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> [[Image:AsperchuFanArt.png|thumb|That's right, '''Asperchu''' is so popular, it's fan art that has received fan art of itself]]<br /> <br /> '''''The Amazing Asperchu''''' (also called ''Asperchu: The Amazing Tales'' and ''The Spectacular Asperchu'') is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' detailing the zany misadventures of [[Asperchu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] with [[Asperger syndrome]]. It can be read [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ here].<br /> <br /> ''Asperchu'' pokes fun at everything that makes [[Chris]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic series what it is. Unlike ''Sonichu'', where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast detest him. Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style - this is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|believes that it doesn't have the same &quot;character&quot;]] as [[Chris and art|his paper-and-pencil-drawn pages]].<br /> <br /> {{TOC limit|2}} <br /> <br /> ==Protagonists==<br /> <br /> ===Asperchu===<br /> [[Image:Asperchu.jpg|thumb|left|150px|The Good, Godly, STRAIGHT Asperchu]] <br /> <br /> Asperchu is a high-functioning Electric/Asperger's Hedgehog Pokémon. He has no Electric-type attacks; however, his Asperger's-type attacks do double damage against Autistic-type Pokémon. His strongest attack is the ''Asperhameha'', which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.<br /> <br /> Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late [[2003]] and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on [[YouTube]] videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his [[Xbox 360]] or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Normandale Community College]] with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin. However, Asperchu's adventures and his recent state of mind has made him forget this detail and he has missed 195 days of school.<br /> <br /> He is currently on a [[Love Quest]] to obtain a [[gal-pal]] whom he can build into a [[sweetheart from the ground up]]. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in video games and won't go anywhere without his Xbox Portable. As well, Asperchu has an incredible dislike for [[slow-in-the-mind]]s.<br /> <br /> For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream-daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] of the past. Both of them drank the [[semen|Special Fanta Brew]] that created [[Sonichu]] in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and defecated out a deformed monster, naming it &quot;Asperia&quot;. While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grew bored of taking care of her and tried leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continued playing video games. Asperia was killed by [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].<br /> <br /> Currently, Asperchu is being manipulated by a squirrel-creature calling itself &quot;[[Rocky]]&quot;, telling Asperchu that he need never take responsibility for his actions. Unbeknownst to Asperchu, &quot;Rocky&quot; is one of the mysterious [[Man in the Pickle Suit|MIPS]].<br /> <br /> It has been revealed that the source of Asperchu's powers is the Chaos Pickle of Diligence, though Asperchu believed that he was [[GodJesus]]'s next prophet.<br /> <br /> *Asperchu is, of course, based on [[Christian Weston Chandler]]; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's [[Rollin' and Trollin']] phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the [[ego]], narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the [[Love Quest]]. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent and [[naïve]] Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a [[duck|prick]] as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true: reasonably, he would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it. Asperchu's hatred of gingers is reminiscent of Chris-chan's dislike of [[Blacks]].<br /> <br /> ===Sonichu===<br /> [[Image:TheOtherAsperchu.jpg|thumb|150px|Asperchu's bestest joy-boy Sonichu, who eventually got his own spin-off comic due to the popularity of Asperchu]] <br /> <br /> The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Or at least he ''was''...<br /> <br /> [[Sonichu]] shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the [[Troll]] Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a [[Homos|late night snuggling rendezvous]]. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of [[Virginia]], on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of [[Asperger's Syndrome]] as a component of the Autism Spectrum. Or at least he ''did...''<br /> <br /> Sonichu was created in [[1999]] by Ian Brandon Anderson through an unholy mixture of human and Chu semen with Fanta. At first, Ian was overjoyed at having a son of his own, especially one who'd be a loyal and true son, unlike [[Bionic]]. However, Ian got bored of trying to raise Sonichu, especially when it got into his video game playing time. Casting him into a raft, Sonichu floated down the river until he was found by the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, who raised Sonichu as his own son. When Ian Brandon Anderson took over [[CWCVille]], Sonichu was forced to be married off to [[Rosechu]], only for him and the rest of the [[Chaotic Combo]] to revolt. Arriving in ALBVille, he and the rest of the Chaotic Combo fought to free CWCVille from Ian's grips. However, the release of Metal Asperchu would change all that as he would slaughter most of the Combo. When Sonichu went to confront Ian at last, Metal Asperchu made short work of him, lopping off his right arm. When Asperchu, Max and Jivin returned from the past, Asperchu revealed off-handedly that Ian was his father. Sonichu went on a quest to find the truth, only to end up with Mitch Chu dead. When Christian told Sonichu the truth, it drove Sonichu insane. He hunted down Ian as he was kidnapping Asperia and blew out his kneecaps, accidentally killing Asperia. Being captured by Bionic again, he provoked Sonichu into killing Ian for good. As a gift, he grafted Ian's arm where Sonichu's once was. When Argentum was released, he teleported Asperchu and Sonichu to the time when the [[4-Cent_Garbage]] Center was destroyed, only for the hedgehog to tear apart the place. When Sonichu returns to the present, Sonichu attempts to call Asperchu a monster, but he feels himself unworthy of Chris's love and runs away.<br /> <br /> While in self-imposed exile in Molvanîa, he finds himself possessed by the soul of Ian and, in fear, runs to Bionic for help. When Bionic can't help him, the two rescue Sinestro from his prison. However, not even Sinestro understands Sonichu's odd transformation, his fur turning blue, his eyes taking Ian's [[heterochromia]] styling, [[Obesity|his cholesterol level skyrocketing]] and wanting to play the [[PS3]] for 5 to 9 hours.<br /> <br /> In an alternate universe of sorts, Sonichu is shown as an actual [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]-like character fighting an evil madman named [[Robotnik|CWC-Botnik]].<br /> <br /> At the end of Issue #F, Sonichu is no more, taken over by Ian's personality, becoming the dreaded ... '''Chris-Chan Sonichu'''.<br /> <br /> ===Max===<br /> [[Image:Max.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Asperchu's plucky, polyurethane sidekick]] <br /> <br /> Close friend of Asperchu and Jivin. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. His transformations include [[Wikipedia:Guido|Guido]], [[Wikipedia:Waffen SS|Waffen SS]], [[Niggos|2Pac]] and the Yellow Devil.<br /> <br /> At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a Christian minister.<br /> (Max is a completely original character and is not derived from [[Wikipedia:Kirby (character)|any source]] other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.)<br /> <br /> ===Jivin Pickles===<br /> [[Image:Jivin.jpg|thumb|150px|Aww, shit son, Asperchu just got GANGSTA all up in here]] <br /> <br /> The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's [[Niggos|black]] best friend. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his [[Love Quest]], although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward [[sweethearts]], while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of [[Christmas]], Jivin celebrates [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|Kwanzaa]]. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.<br /> <br /> Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode.[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/21069]<br /> <br /> ===Groovan===<br /> Close friend of Max, Asperchu and Jivin. ''Asperchu'' issue Ten claims that they have always been friends, but Asperchu seems to have failed to notice him before then due to him blending in to the background.<br /> <br /> ==Villains==<br /> ===Ian Brandon Anderson===<br /> [[Image:IBAasperchu.png|thumb|150px|left|The evil and deceitful IAN BRANDON SOMETHING]] <br /> <br /> [[Ian]] believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a [[fat]], insane manchild. Ian rules [[CWCville]] through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville People's Liberation Front (CPLF) constantly fights against his oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a perverse form of &quot;[[Dating Education|sexual education]]&quot;. <br /> <br /> This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Mayorshack Tito]]'s takeover and the return of justice to CWCville.<br /> <br /> If he doesn't get his way, he uses his [[Megatron Pistol|Transformers gun]] to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris-chan, and also attempted to murder the &quot;parodic&quot; Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and losing his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.<br /> <br /> In [[1999]], Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at [[Wendy's]] by [[Giovanni]], Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his [[gal-pals]] [[Ivy]] and [[Megan]] before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu for the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his [[comeuppance]] to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning [[Beel|Satan]] to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandoned Bionic and, ten weeks later, gave birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, left his [[duck]] bent at a horrible angle. He later abandoned Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.<br /> <br /> When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly gaining control. As the Asperchu series shares the same universe as ''[[Simonchu]]'' and ''[[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]'', it is said that he was able to con the people into thinking he was the true Christian Weston Chandler. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.<br /> <br /> Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian sought to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Upon attempting to spirit away Asperia, Sonichu blows out his kneecaps (accidentally killing Asperia) and is captured by Bionic. Bionic then uses the mentally unstable Sonichu to butcher his father. Ian finally meets his end with Sonichu's axe and Bionic's gun. As a reward, [[Metal Gear Solid|Bionic grafts Ian's right arm onto Sonichu's stump in place of the one he lost in Issue 3.]]<br /> <br /> However, the soul of Ian lives on within Sonichu and whenever he takes over, he causes Sonichu's eyes to take its heterochromic styling.<br /> <br /> *[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] is a version of Chris based on the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris. Ian's death mirrors that of the deaths of Evan, Sean, and Mao in [[Sonichu 10]].<br /> <br /> ===Bionic the Hedgehog===<br /> [[File:Bionicc.jpg|thumb|149px|Why don't you love me, father?]]<br /> Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, Bionic was a jovial and [[homos|gay]] creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in stuff other than [[ego|himself]] and [[china|women]]. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonald's, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.<br /> <br /> Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily-esque]] fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonald's. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.<br /> <br /> Bionic returns and seemingly reveals his true master plan: by driving Sonichu insane through the revelation of his true parentage, he uses the broken Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to murder Ian Brandon Anderson; in essence, turning his favorite son against him. His plans for the body of the dead Asperia is currently unknown.<br /> <br /> He attempted to help Sonichu with his strange transformation, but Sonichu stopped him and Sinestro, feeling this new form is much better. He is later called in to be a judge[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/482] for Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> *Bionic's condition is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:Christopher Pike|Christopher Pike]], the first captain of ''Star Trek's USS Enterprise'', with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light. His judge outfit resembles that worn by [[Wikipedia:Q (Star Trek)|Q]] in the ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek: The Next Generation|Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' series premiere, &quot;[[Wikipedia:Encounter at Farpoint|Encounter at Farpoint]]&quot; and again in the finale, &quot;[[Wikipedia:All Good Things...|All Good Things...]]&quot;.<br /> *Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on [[Wikipedia:Davros|Davros]], one of the main villains on ''[[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]].''<br /> *Also, Bionic's base is based off a [[dream]] Chris mentioned about people being killed in a &quot;[[Mailbag_39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED]]&quot; factory.<br /> <br /> ===Metal Asperchu===<br /> Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo. <br /> <br /> From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast [[McDonald's|food restaurants]] and killing [[Robotnik|Teddy Roosevelt]]. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bubastis Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes. After killing Cthulu Chu, he figures out the secret of the Fourth Directive and forces Sinestro to watch his work finally unfold. However, after the creation of Argentum and his subsequent turning, Metal Asperchu has gone into a massive blue screen of death. Soon after, WesLi Chu gives Metal Asperchu a disk and he begins scanning seven individuals who are part of the Anchuent Prophecy. He scans Asperchu, WesLi Chu, Sonichu, Chris and two others (presumably Alzheichu and Dino Dash) before the heroes attack him in his attempt to get the last one. He attacks Noir Chu and Aspercream and defeats many of the heroes before Alzheichu stabs him with Chris's knife, briefly causing him to go haywire and explode, destroying him and finally releasing the Chaos Pickles. <br /> <br /> * Based on [[Metal Sonichu]] who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.<br /> <br /> ===Other villains===<br /> <br /> ;Sinestro<br /> As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation. He was recently rescued by Sonichu and Bionic in an attempt to cure Sonichu's odd transformation.<br /> *Sinestro's name comes from a [[Wikipedia:Sinestro|comic-book villain]], while his appearance is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Il Palazzo]] of ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (whose appearance was also copied by Chris for the character [[ScotPalazzo]]), and his hairstyle is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:OrganizationXIII#Xemnas|Xemnas]] of the ''[[Wikipedia:Kingdom Hearts|Kingdom Hearts]]'' series and/or [[Wikipedia:Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)|Sephiroth]] from the [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy|Final Fantasy]] series.<br /> <br /> ;Lisa<br /> A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion. She has recently returned in an attempt to find and retrieve a disk that had been used by Metal Asperchu<br /> *Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart [[Blanca]]. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion. Her asking him out on a fake date is based on the acts of proto-troll [[Hanna]].<br /> <br /> ;John and Kendra<br /> John (YouTube handle: '''GJ-Radar''', &quot;GJ&quot; presumably standing for [[GodJesus]]) is a born-again Baptist from rural Texas; He also represents some of Chris's [[Chris and religion|religious]] beliefs, such as his fear of [[Niggos|darkies]] and [[Homos|homogays]], aside from [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. John and his fiancée '''Kendra''' traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's YouTube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded that he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a YouTube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.<br /> * Based off the [[Singstar Challenge]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. John and Kendra most likely represent [[Liquid]] and [[Kacey]].<br /> <br /> ;Dino Dash<br /> Dino Dash is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.<br /> *Dino Dash is based on [[Clyde Cash]].<br /> <br /> ;Count Plot Cohesuon<br /> Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of ''dei ex machina''.&lt;!--plural of &quot;deus ex machina&quot;--&gt; According to Alec's comments on Issue 5E, Plot Cohesuon is Count Graduon's cousin and he's also dead, having used his powers on himself in an accident.<br /> *Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of [[Count Graduon]] from the original Sonichu comic.<br /> <br /> ;Silvana Rosechu<br /> The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become [[Meg Griffin]] for Ian's pleasure.[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/231] She also has a noticeable bulge.<br /> <br /> ;Yellow Devil<br /> A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is defeated by the real Chris.<br /> *Based on the [[List_of_Mega_Man_characters#Bio-Devil|Yellow Devil]] from the ''Megaman'' game series.<br /> <br /> ==Supporting characters==<br /> <br /> ===Asperchu's family===<br /> <br /> ;Grandpa Alzheichu<br /> Asperchu's grandfather, an [[racist|old-fashioned]] Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do [[stress]]ful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Grandma Snorlax. Alzheichu sacrifices himself to stop Metal Asperchu's assault.<br /> *Alzheichu is based on [[Bob Chandler]].<br /> <br /> ;Grandma Snorlax<br /> <br /> Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost her left foot due to Asperia's hunger.<br /> *&quot;[[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]&quot; is the nickname given to [[Barbara Chandler]].<br /> <br /> ;Asperia Chu<br /> <br /> The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]] in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.<br /> <br /> In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's [[pedofork]] tendencies. He also describes her as &quot;the pinnacle of his existence&quot;, attributing to his own narcissism.<br /> <br /> Sadly, Asperia is the latest victim of Ian Brandon Anderson's evils. Having been kidnapped by the madmanchild, she is accidentally killed by a vengeful Sonichu in his attempts to get back at him. However, Bionic recovers her body, and it is heavily implied he has plans for her since he sympathizes with having a neglectful father.<br /> <br /> *Asperia Chu is based on [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her &quot;father's.&quot; Also, Asperia's [[Wikipedia:Alien (creature in Alien franchise)|&quot;Alien&quot; appearance]] may be a jab at the [[Sonee and Rosey]] designs which have horrified many.<br /> <br /> ===[[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)|The Chaotic Combo]]===<br /> *'''Wild Sonichu''' is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.<br /> <br /> *'''Angelica Rosechu''' uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.<br /> <br /> *'''Punchy Sonichu''' is the master of the &quot;anshuent Chinaman martial arts.&quot; He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.<br /> <br /> *'''Bubbles Rosechu''' is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely [[retarded|slow-in-the-mind]] and is prone to injuring herself.<br /> <br /> *'''Magi-Chan Sonichu''' uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and [[Mass debate]] to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.<br /> <br /> Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.<br /> <br /> ===Christian Weston Chandler===<br /> [[Image:RealcwcAsperchu.png|thumb|150px|The TRUE and HONEST CWC (also the true and honest medallion)]] <br /> <br /> Sonichu's father and creator, Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert &quot;The Lumberjack&quot; Chandler]] and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.<br /> <br /> In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokémon to be the creature who he was now.<br /> <br /> It's been revealed that Chris is the avatar of the Chaos Pickle of Patience.<br /> <br /> *Christian Chandler is based on [[Liquid Chris]]. The knife he carries is based on [[Sonichu Special 4]].<br /> <br /> ===Argentum===<br /> <br /> The end result of Metal Asperchu's experiments, it is the Asperchu clone that has its fourth directive unlocked. It has the ability to warp spacetime and seems to be capable of feeding off the pain of others.<br /> <br /> *Argentum's design is a mixture of the Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]] and Sonic the Hedgehog character [[Wikipedia:Silver the Hedgehog|Silver the Hedgehog]], but may have been inspired by [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|Mewchu]]. His name is Latin for &quot;silver&quot;.<br /> <br /> ===Other characters===<br /> ;Heaven Fatterton<br /> <br /> Lisa's accomplice and a fat ginger. She pretends to be Lisa during Asperchu's date so that she can steal the Asperchu medallion while Lisa films the date for blackmail. When her wig falls of, Asperchu is to dense to realize she's a phony and instead thinks there's two Lisas when the real Lisa shows up. Heaven has a thinner, bustier sister named Hortense who was killed by [[Bob Chandler]] for getting close to Chris-Chan.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Chu]]<br /> <br /> Sonichu's cousin. He's a [[Homos|gay]] hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is &quot;Razzle-dazzle&quot;. When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noir Chu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him. <br /> <br /> Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]] in ''[[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]''.<br /> <br /> *Mitch Chu is based on [[Mitch Sonichu]], Chris's take on Asperchu's &quot;EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER&quot; in [[Sonichu 10]]. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.<br /> <br /> ;Simonchu<br /> <br /> Although [[Simonchu]] stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.<br /> <br /> ;Dixie Chu<br /> <br /> The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie has been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining &quot;Dix&quot; as his sweetheart. She recently returned to testify against Asperchu in his trial<br /> <br /> * Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's [[gal-pals]], but is probably more centered on [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Kacey]].<br /> <br /> ;Jonas Chu<br /> <br /> Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by &quot;cheating&quot; by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.<br /> <br /> He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.<br /> <br /> * May have been based off the events from [[CWC More Than A Feeling]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. His waistcoast and name derive from the [[Wikipedia:Jonas brothers|Jonas brothers]].<br /> <br /> ;Denubius King<br /> <br /> His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He is a [[niggo|black]] kingpin in pimp attire and carries a pimp cane with an afro on it, called the &quot;Staff of Suffrage&quot;. He kidnaps Jivin's father and tries to steal the Pickles family farm to get his hands on the Chaos Pickle they're guarding, but is foiled by Jivin.<br /> <br /> ;Bullet-Time Montgomery.<br /> <br /> First appeared in the Jivin Sub-Episode. He works for Denubius King and is a crack-shot with a revolver. Denubius orders him to kill Jivin, but Jivin knocks him out with &quot;Deus ex BLACKina&quot;. He later reappears as a juror at Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> ;[[Rosechu]]<br /> Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she [[pickle|can satisfy his needs]], which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him. It's later revealed that Rosechu cheats on Sonichu all the time; she's also banged Punchy, Naitsirhc, and even Dino Dash. She is later used as a gamble chip to win back Sonichu, but it proves ineffective.<br /> <br /> *Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after events in the [[Mailbag]].<br /> <br /> ;Whispy Sonichu<br /> <br /> Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being Oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.<br /> <br /> ;Larry D. Waltz<br /> <br /> Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with [[niggos|an African-American]] in exchange for a mysterious disc. When the disk is later stolen by WesLi Chu, he appoints Lisa to get it back. He nearly gets his head taken off by one of Asperchu's Asper-Ha-Me-Has.<br /> *Larry is based on [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has a resemblance to [[Jimmy Hill]].<br /> <br /> ;Sitting Chu<br /> <br /> Sitting Chu is the head of ALBville's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu.<br /> *Sitting Chu is based off of the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]].<br /> <br /> ;Jimarcus Chu<br /> <br /> A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.<br /> *Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on [[Inos]] and his physical appearance is based off of [http://www.grandtheftwiki.com/Little_Jacob Little Jacob]. His name is derived from [[Wikipedia:Jamaica|Jamaica]] and [[Wikipedia:Marcus Garvey|Marcus Garvey]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Doctor Robotnik]]<br /> <br /> It seems that the once-feared nemesis of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a [[McDonald's]]. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to ''seriously'' pay for a $31 meal with food stamps worth $10. He is then killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.<br /> <br /> ;Megan and Ivy<br /> <br /> Two of the younger Ian's [[gal-pals]]. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have [[hanky panky]] only to be tazed by Megan.<br /> <br /> * Megan and Ivy are based off of [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Ivy]].<br /> <br /> ;Principal Blaziken<br /> The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.<br /> * Principal Blaziken is based off [[Sonichu 10]]'s Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.<br /> <br /> ;[[Sammy]]<br /> A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in [[Cwc-isms|odd phrases]]. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle. He later returns, alive and well, as a cushion for Asperchu's fall.<br /> *While he is obviously modeled after [[Sammy]] from ''Sonichu'' (who was in turn a ripoff of [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]), he's also taken on some traits from ''Homestar Runner'' character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted &quot;word salads&quot; and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as &quot;All aboard the Gravy Train!&quot;<br /> <br /> ;Bubastis Chu<br /> Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's [[Capering Berries]] in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film ''Watchmen'', and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.<br /> <br /> ;[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]<br /> Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler was his sister. And being the massive [[Chris and ego|narcissist]] that he is, believed that his ideal partner was [[incest|his closest genetic match]]. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a [[Pedofork|thong]].<br /> *Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.<br /> <br /> ;Mayorshack Tito<br /> The new democratically-elected mayor of [[CWCville]] after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's [[niggo|black]].<br /> *Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll [[Surfshack Tito]], who gets his name from Tito Makani Jr. of ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. Mayorshack Tito's appearance is also based on Tito Makani Jr.<br /> <br /> ;Noir Chu and Aspercream<br /> [[File:Noir.jpg|thumb|Noir is fed up with this shit.]]<br /> Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaunn into the mix. However, DeShaunn's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the Albville Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. After being banished by Sinestro for losing Noir Chu, Aspercream ran off to Albville where she was reunited with Noir. When Sonichu ran off to find Ian, Noir Chu takes Asperchu to find and stop them, with Aspercream pleading not to get hurt, SOMEHOW knowing that it was Asperchu who got Magi-Chan killed. Both Noir Chu and Aspercream are wounded in Metal Asperchu's rampage, but survive.<br /> * Noir Chu is based on [[Blake]]. Aspercream resembles [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]].<br /> <br /> ;Princess [[Julie]]<br /> <br /> One of the members of the [[Molvanîa]]n Royal Family. She and the others have strong ties with the Rebels of CWCVille.<br /> <br /> * Princess Julie is based off of the infamous troll of the same name. Her design, however, is based off of [[Wikipedia: Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]] of ''King of the Hill''.<br /> <br /> ;[[Crackder]]<br /> <br /> One of Ian's attempts at making sentient war machines. However, it is slow-in-the-mind, rambles off random-access humor and is against war. Asperchu hates him because he's a slow-in-the-mind.<br /> <br /> *Crackder is based off of the Decepticon Chris created of the same name.<br /> <br /> ;[[Yawning Squirtle]]<br /> <br /> We don't know how the hell he got off the [[Moon]], but he's off of it and still smoking it up. It was revealed that he was Mayorshack Tito's opponent in the CWCville elections, and currently works as an attorney. His hated rival is Lewis Croagunk, who opposed him in Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mimms]] and Lucas<br /> <br /> Two patrons of the Brass Dragon. Mimms sports a wicked green 'fro.<br /> <br /> *Both Mimms and Lucas are based off of the CWC informants who frequented the GAMe PLACe. Lucas's design resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Lucas (Mother)|the character of the same name from the ''Mother'' series]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Rocky]]<br /> <br /> A mysterious squirrel with green antenna. He calls Asperchu &quot;dum-dum&quot; and tries to steer him in the opposite direction to make him blameless. In actuality, Rocky is MIPS 09, attempting to steer Asperchu into fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.<br /> *While Rocky's design and speech resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Rocky the Flying Squirrel]] of the ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' cartoons and [[Wikipedia:The Great Gazoo|The Great Gazoo]] of ''The Flintstones'', the creature is also a parody of [[Rocky Shoemaker]], Chris's pastoral counselor (although the real Rocky is not as indulgent as the ''Asperchu'' Rocky). <br /> <br /> ;[[Jimmy Hill]]<br /> <br /> Ruler of Molvanîa and Princess Julie's father. Enjoys playing Pokémon trading-card games. When he finds out of Julie's capture, he opts to move out to save her.<br /> <br /> *Jimmy Hill resembles the old man used in the earlier Chris trolling schemes, but his mannerisms match more of Hank Hill of ''King of the Hill''.<br /> <br /> ;Lewis Croagunk<br /> <br /> The prosecutor for Asperchu's trial. It is revealed that he is old rivals with Yawning Squirtle and he seems to be a very competent lawyer. Oddly, for a Croagunk, he has a human's head.<br /> <br /> *Lewis Croagunk may be a parody of Chris's various court-based characters from ''Sonichu 10''.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Croagunk|Croagunk]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].<br /> <br /> ;Prison inmates<br /> <br /> A gathering of the biggest, baddest villains and other faces from various TV shows, including Skullmaster of ''Mighty Max'', Krang from the 1980s ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' cartoons, Tohru, Finn, and Ratso from ''Jackie Chan Adventures'', and an assortment of Pokémon (most notably a rapist Poliwrath). <br /> <br /> ;Warden Clawdorf<br /> <br /> Warden of the prison Asperchu is locked up in. He's a real [[niggos|black]] [[duck|dick]].<br /> <br /> *[[Clawdorf]] is [[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s archnemesis in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] who appears only in a silhouette, which inadvertently resembles a penis with arms. ''Asperchu'' Clawdorf parodies this.<br /> <br /> ;Gumby<br /> <br /> One of children's lovable creations was an inmate in the jail after accidentally killing a child inside a book. He had converted to Christianity and attempted to do so with Asperchu, but only got him to create his own Bible with him as the Son of God. He is wiped from existence after Asperchu leaves him inside his book.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Gumby|Gumby]] was a [[REAL Protest against the FAKE|C-L-A-Y]] character created by Art Clokey.<br /> ;Asperchoso<br /> <br /> Asperchu's avatar in his &quot;Second Greatest Story Ever Told&quot;. The paragon of manliness and a Son of God, he prevents others from getting girlfriends by blowing their kneecaps out.<br /> <br /> *Asperchoso's name is derived from the Rabbichosos from [[Vivian Gee]]'s &quot;[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]&quot; story. His actions are similar to Chris's in [[Sonichu Special 4]], when he blows Liquid Chris's kneecaps off.<br /> <br /> ;Poliwrath<br /> <br /> A hardened criminal who tried to [[rape|make Asperchu his bitch]] upon his arrival. However, after Asperchu and Gumby escaped into Asperchu's book, he quickly became a convert to Asperchu's &quot;religion&quot;.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Poliwrath|Poliwrath]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].<br /> <br /> ===4-Cent_Garbage Center residents===<br /> <br /> ;[[Naitsirhc]]<br /> <br /> Naitsirhc has a brief cameo in the 4-Cent_Garbage Center that Argentum recreates. He is seen alongside [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. He attempts to get Sonichu to calm down, but ends up getting his neck snapped by the hedgehog.<br /> <br /> *Unbelievably, Naitsirhc in Asperchu looks ''[[Homos|even gayer]]'', as he sports earrings and crotchless chaps.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mary Lee Walsh]]<br /> <br /> Another one of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. When Sonichu tears apart the building, she and Count Graduon go and unleash Joshua Martinez.<br /> <br /> *Mary's design in Asperchu borrows largely from ''[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|Final Fantasy VIII]]'' villain Ultimecia.<br /> <br /> ;[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]<br /> Owner of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. His appearance is identical to that in Sonichu. When he confronts ''Sonichu'', he is killed in the same manner Rosechu attacked him.<br /> <br /> ;[[Clyde Cash]]<br /> Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by [[:Image:325504_-_Chris-chan_clyde_cash.jpg|this piece of fanart.]] According to Asperpedia's article on Clyde, he, [[Brian Bash]] and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past. Clyde Cash makes another appearance, this time in the 4-Cent Garbage tower. When Plautistic captures Sonichu, Clyde and Jack go to finish Sonichu. Clyde is shown wearing Spider-Man's pants and boots and is able to shoot webbing from his hands.<br /> <br /> *Clyde's design is based off of the picture Chris found of Clyde (actually a photo of Joe Hotti). His having Spider-Man powers is based off of [[No More Jokes|the set of videos trying to troll Clyde]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Jack Thaddeus]]<br /> Seen in the 4-Cent Garbage Tower alongside Clyde Cash. His appearance is similar to that in Sonichu. He uses the Goblin Glider and Pumpkin Bombs of [[Wikipedia:Norman Osborn|the Green Goblin]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Count Graduon]]<br /> One of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance resembles a [[duck|penis]]. When Sonichu tears apart the building, he and Mary Lee Walsh free Joshua Martinez. When the creature is destroyed, Joshua tosses him aside.<br /> <br /> ;Chief Boyd<br /> One of the heads of the COProtectors. Is brutally murdered by Sonichu.<br /> *Based on the [[Jerkhief]] from ''Sonichu''; &quot;COProtectors&quot; is an inversion of &quot;[[jerkop]]&quot;.<br /> <br /> ;[[Bagget]]<br /> Head of security at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. A no-nonsense type of guy, Bagget tries to get Asperchu to reveal where Sonichu is before the hedgehog confronts the two of them. Sadly, Bagget falls to Sonichu.<br /> <br /> ;[[Wall of Originals|Plautistic]]<br /> A mysterious creature held by those within the 4-Cent Garbage Building bonded with Joshua Martinez When Sonichu goes on a rampage, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon release it. The creature resembles the mythical creature Hydra. Its leaves can be smoked as a type of [[Tobacky|drug]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Joshua Martinez]]<br /> A Mexican who was once bonded with Plautistic. In the heat of battle, Sonichu tears him from Plautistic, then tears his head off.<br /> <br /> ;[[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wesli Chu]]<br /> A hedgehog working within the 4-Cent Garbage Building. ACTUALLY knows magic, including his own Anchuent power, Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha. He's such a manly man, he can even make full-on [[Megagi|bull dykes]] crave his [[duck]]. After escaping the destruction of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, the MIPS made him give a data CD to Metal Asperchu. Shortly after, his memory was wiped. It has been revealed that he holds the Chaos Pickle of Chastity.<br /> <br /> ;[[Giovanni]]<br /> The feared leader of [[Team Rocket]] and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again. Years later, he takes up residence at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When his son is killed by Sonichu's hand, he confronts Sonichu, using a small army of Pokémon to stop him. Sonichu uses said Pokémon to kill Giovanni, mostly by impaling him with them.<br /> <br /> ;[[CADD Chef]]<br /> <br /> Killed in the destruction of 4-cent.<br /> <br /> ;[[Michael Snyder]]<br /> A Jewish magician working for the MIPS. He also runs [[The GAMe PLACe|The Brass Dragon]] and is frustrated by Sonichu's attempts to trade a rare Black Lotus card with a ''Pokémon Ruby'' cartridge. He was responsible for helping Jack and Clyde escape.<br /> <br /> ;MIPS<br /> <br /> Self-aware supercomputers that help run 4-Cent. Michael Snyder reports directly to them and contacts them by pickle-phone. He asks them to help evacuate the building, but they claim they're using up all their resources to [[100 2178|control the realtors]]. They are capable of meeting anywhere, including in space. They are keenly interested in fulfilling the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].<br /> *MIPS are a personification of Chris's paranoid belief in a [[100 2178|conspiracy by the Greene County school board]] to keep his family in Ruckersville so he can stay in his &quot;autistic shell&quot;. MIPS is speculated to stand for &quot;[[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Men In Pickle Suits]]&quot;.<br /> <br /> ;[[ScotPalazzo]]<br /> <br /> Killed in the destruction of 4cent.<br /> <br /> ;[[Megagi]] Chu<br /> A purple lesbian skunk who broke Sonichu's heart in the past and has orgies with Saramah Chu, Jiggliami and even Wes-Li. Is killed with Saramah Chu's torn off arms, taunting him to then end.<br /> <br /> ;[[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Chu]]<br /> A yellow Rosechu who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. Her arms are ripped off, the trauma killing her. However, after the destruction of Metal Asperchu, her Chaos Pickle, Temperance, returned to her and revived and restored her.<br /> <br /> ;[[Jiggliami]]<br /> A pink Jigglypuff humanoid who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. She is killed when Sonichu punches through her head.<br /> <br /> ===Chaos Pickles===<br /> <br /> The Chaos Pickles are seven magical items of great power. According to Chris, the pickles are within seven special people and, should they be removed, they enable its user to be revived and restored once they are freed again.<br /> <br /> {| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Image<br /> !Color<br /> ! Trait<br /> ! Location<br /> !Avatar<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-violet.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Purple<br /> |Kindness<br /> |Owned by the Pickles family; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Lovely Weather<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-blue.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Blue<br /> |Temperance<br /> |Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu<br /> |Saramah Chu<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-green.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Green<br /> |Patience<br /> |Owned by Flame the Sunbird; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Christian Weston Chandler<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-pink.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Pink<br /> |Charity<br /> |Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu in return for murdering Robotnik<br /> |Megan<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-orange.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Orange<br /> |Chastity<br /> |Owned by Sammy; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Wesli Chu<br /> |-<br /> | – <br /> |Yellow<br /> |Diligence<br /> |Inside Asperchu<br /> |Asperchu<br /> |-<br /> | – <br /> |Red<br /> |Humility<br /> | -<br /> |Ian Brandon Anderson<br /> |}<br /> <br /> *The Chaos Pickles parody the [[Sonichu Balls]]. They are each named for one of the [[Wikipedia:Seven virtues#Seven heavenly virtues|seven heavenly virtues]].<br /> <br /> ==Locations==<br /> <br /> ===Alzheichu's Home===<br /> This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, back-breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an [[Hex Bawx|XBox 360]], which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant [[stress]], since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.<br /> * A parody of [[Tour of Chris's house|Chris's house]].<br /> <br /> ===The Brass Dragon===<br /> A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart. Michael Snyder runs the shop. Asperchu is now officially banned from the store for trying to steal a rare card.<br /> * This is a parody of [[The GAMe PLACe]].<br /> <br /> ===Pickles Ranch===<br /> Home of Jivin and Dick Pickles, who owned a Chaos Pickle before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.<br /> *Resembles the Skywalker farm from [[Wikipedia:Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope|''Star Wars'']].<br /> <br /> ===[[CWCville]]===<br /> Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into [[dating education|brothels]] as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to [[Liquid|Chris's]] efforts, and [[Surfshack Tito|Mayorshack Tito]] won the first CWCville election in years.<br /> <br /> ===Albville===<br /> Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with [[Evan|ECGville]] during a brief war with old [[CWCville|RFCville]] and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, who has since disappeared in [[Sonichu 10|mysterious circumstances]].<br /> <br /> ===Bionic's fortress===<br /> [[Bionic]]'s base of operations, which was abandoned when [[Liquid|Chris]] came to Sonichu's rescue.<br /> *Based on [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily's]] fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED factory]] where [[Tobacky|smokers]] were murdered.<br /> <br /> ===[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent_Garbage Center]]===<br /> The remnants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's [[trolls|&quot;Undesirables&quot;]] and he [[Twin Falling Towers|flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building]] to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered &quot;Ian's most terrible legacy&quot;. Argentum brings Sonichu and Asperchu to the restored Center, where Sonichu climbs the building to confront his father. It is revealed that Ian's airplane did jack shit and it was Sonichu's Roaring Rampage of Revenge that caused the destruction in the first place. Ian was probably blamed for it because he was the only one still alive to take the blame. It is also revealed that it was destroyed during the Chaotic Funeral.<br /> *The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is a combination of [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu_10#Rage_Against_the_Garbage_2:_Electric_Boogaloo|Rage Against the Garbage 2]] and an infamous Chris video mocking [[Clyde]] by comparing him to [[Twin Falling Towers|the destruction of the World Trade Center]].<br /> <br /> ===Molvanîa===<br /> <br /> An oddball East European country. Home of the MIPS and the survivors of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center survivors.<br /> *[[Molvanîa]] was the home of [[Julie]] and [[Max]], named after a fictional East European country created by Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch.<br /> <br /> ==Issues==<br /> Thus far, sixteen issues (and one Sub-Episode) of ''Asperchu'' have been released. The confusing issue numbering (0–0A–0B–C–1–2–3–3D–4–5–5E–6–7–8–F–Ten) is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which began its issue numbering with [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and then complicated the matter with numbered &quot;Episodes&quot; and &quot;Sub-Episodes&quot; (so [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] is the fourth issue, and contains Episodes 10 and 11 and Sub-Episode 4).<br /> ===List of issues===<br /> <br /> {|class=&quot;wikitable&quot;<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Cover<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; colspan=&quot;2&quot; | Issue<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Title<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Plot summary<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:a0.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #0<br /> |''ASPERCHU'S First Date... and his first villain!''<br /> | Asperchu goes on a date with Lisa, and is tricked into having his medallion stolen.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Asperchu, Max, Jivin Pickles, Lisa, Heaven.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 0A Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue 0A<br /> | ''The challenge of TRUE Piety''<br /> | Asperchu makes a video attacking the trolls, provoking the ire of Christian couple Kendra and John. Grandpa Alzheichu refuses to let Jivin enter his house. John confronts Asperchu over his unChristian attitudes; Asperchu retaliates by forging a new medallion. Lisa tells John that she stole the original medallion.&lt;br&gt; ''First appearance of Grandpa Alzheichu, Sitting Chu, Jormungand.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Calvin, Kendra, John, Micah, Benny Chu, W.E.B. Dubois, various Normandale students.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:JIVIN_Issue_0_Page_1.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;black&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Jivin Sub-Episode<br /> | ''Jivin's first solo adventure!''<br /> | Jivin's father is captured by Denubius King, but Jivin rescues him. It turns out that the Pickles family owns one of the fabled Chaos Pickles.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Dick Pickles, Bullet-Time Montgomery.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Denubius King.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 0B Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue 0B<br /> | ''Swords and Axes... the Duel of Ages!''<br /> | Jonas Chu defeats Asperchu in a ''Guitar Hero'' tournament, then is kidnapped by Dino Dash. Jivin fails to seduce Dixie. Asperchu makes a weak attempt at impersonating Jonas on YouTube, then fails to prevent Dixie's abduction.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Grandma Snorlax, Sonichu, Dixie Chu, Dino Dash, Sinestro, Jonas Chu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue C Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue C<br /> | ''Things are coming to a head!''<br /> | Asperchu is kidnapped by Sinestro, who has created many Asperchu clones. &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Christian Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Metal Asperchu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Autischu, Down Chu, XXY Chu.'' <br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 1 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue #1<br /> | ''The big leagues.''<br /> | Metal seizes Simonchu's drill medallion. Sonichu introduces Asperchu to the Chaotic Combo, and Magi-Chan enters a trance in order to track down Metal - but Asperchu makes him find Dixie instead. Wild tells of the oppression wreaked by Mayor Anderson. Metal takes the first Chaos Pickle from the Pickles family. Sinestro creates Noir Chu and (accidentally) Aspercream. The Combo fight Metal Asperchu, who kills three of them and then finds the second Pickle in a mysterious skull-shaped factory.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Simonchu, Bubbles, Larry D. Waltz, Magi-Chan, Noir Chu, Aspercream, Mitch Chu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Punchy, Angelica, and Wild.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 2 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #2<br /> | ''The quest for the Chaos Pickles continues.''<br /> | The funeral of Punchy, Angelica and Wild takes place. Metal Asperchu forces the second Chaos Pickle from Bionic, who tells him the owner of the third Pickle: Flame the Sunbird. Rosechu and Simonchu hook up at the funeral (despite Magi-Chan's love for Simonchu), while a confused Noir Chu confronts his clone-brother Asperchu. Mitch Chu brings Noir and Asperchu to Sitting Chu's Soup Hotel in ALBville, where Noir gives up his gun and they meet the Basement Rosechus. Asperchu is kicked out for eating the homeless's food, and attempts to buy a McDonald's meal with food stamps. Metal kills Robotnik in return for Bionic giving him the fourth Chaos Pickle. Silvana murders Bubbles and hacks into Magi-Chan's computer. Bionic then asks that Metal Asperchu bring him Christian Weston Chandler - alive.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Rosechu, Bionic, Silvana.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Whispy, Thomas Jefferson, Flame the Sunbird, Jimarcus Chu, Officer Louis Perez, Moe Chu, Brit-Tay Rosechu, Mary Rosechu, Rosee.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Ivo Robotnik.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Bubbles.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 3 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #3<br /> |'' Taking the battle to the enemy.''<br /> | Sinestro and Waltz unsuccessfully interrogate Aspercream to find out Noir Chu's location. Sonichu 'n' pals try to liberate CWCville. Magi-Chan is murdered by Silvana, who brings Asperchu to Ian Brandon Anderson. Sonichu, Mitch and Simonchu confront IBA, but then Metal breaks in and cuts off Sonichu's hand. Ian enters his Son-Chu suit and fights back. He cripples Metal Asperchu, but is then is set on fire by Metal and thrown from his tower. Metal then activates his four Chaos Pickles and takes on a new form.&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of IBA's legion of Sonichus.''&lt;br&gt;''Last appearance of Silvana.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Magi-Chan.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 3D Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #3D<br /> | ''Travel through the third dimension... Time!''<br /> | Asperchu, Max and Jivin have been sent back to 1999. 1999-Ian takes them to Manchester High School, and beats up the modern IBA. Bionic then appears and talks to the trio. 1999-Ian molests Ivy, is tasered by Megan and then meets Blaziken, who tries to molest him. Bionic kills Blaziken, but Asperchu claims credit. A distraught Bionic attempts suicide, but Jivin saves him. 1999-Ian mixes Asperchu's comeuppance with his own to create Sonichu. The two Ians then fight, their Curse-ye-ha-me-has crossing to knock our heroes back to their own time. In 2000, Ian gives birth to Sonichu, while in the modern day, Metal Asperchu confronts Asperchu and Ian.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Bill the Scientist, Megan.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Ian's boss, Ivy, Satan.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Principal Blaziken.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 4 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue #4<br /> | ''Metal and glass...''<br /> | Asperchu reveals to Sonichu than Ian is his true father. Metal Asperchu takes the fifth Chaos Pickle from Sammy. Asperchu craps out Asperia. Metal demands that Sinestro tell him what the &quot;fourth directive&quot; is. Sonichu, Simonchu and Mitch break into Ian's cell in order to find Sonichu's true origin. Simonchu is captured by Bionic. Asperia eats Grandma Snorlax's foot. Max defeats the Yellow Devil, then Christian Weston Chandler arrives. Bionic shoots Mitch and flees.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Yellow Devil, Cthulhu Chu, Sammy.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Bubastis Chu.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Mitch Chu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 5 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #5<br /> | ''The end of one, beginning of another.''<br /> | Ian Brandon Anderson realizes that Asperchu was the part-creator of Sonichu. Mayorshack Tito is the new Mayor of CWCville - CWC shows Asperchu the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, and tells Sonichu that Ian is his real father. In a rage, Sonichu hunts down his father, shooting Ian in both knees. The Yellow Devil captures Sonichu, Noir Chu and Asperchu, and brings them to Bionic. Metal Asperchu realizes that the &quot;fourth directive&quot; will work on an immature Asperchu clone. Bionic goads Sonichu into killing IBA, and he accidentally shoots Asperia. Metal creates Argentum, who rebuilds the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Sonichu climbs the 4-Cent_Garbage Center in order to gain revenge on his father.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Argentum, Slaweel the Witch, Naitsirhc, Jack Thaddeus, Mayorshack Tito, Jason Kendrick Howell.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Cthulhu Chu, Ian Brandon Anderson, Asperia.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 5E Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #5E<br /> | ''A bloody fight.''<br /> | Sonichu fights his way up the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, killing Naitsirhc, Jerkops, Jason Kendrick Howell and Bagget, before being attacked by Plautistic, Jack Thaddeus, Clyde Cash and Joshua Martinez. Sonichu then aims to kill Asperchu, only to be interrupted by Wes-Li Chu, who shows him some &quot;magic&quot;. Giovanni then battles Sonichu with his elite Pokémon, who Sonichu defeats. He then reaches &quot;WesLi Chu's Luv Shack&quot;, where Megagi Chu, Saramah and Jiggliami mock him and are murdered by him. Sonichu fights Wes-Li again, but is teleported to the top of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, where he fights Slaweel, who transforms into an Ultimecia-style dragon. Asperchu accidentally kills her by throwing his Xbox Portable into her mouth. The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is destroyed, and Sonichu realizes that Asperchu is also his father.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Michael Snyder, MIPS, Saramah Chu, Wesli Chu, Blazebob Sonichu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Giovanni, Plautistic, Count Graduon, CADD Chef, Shuckle, Metapod, Castform, Delibird.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Jerkops, Bagget, Joshua Martinez, Megagi Chu, Jiggliami.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Naitsirhc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Slaweel the Witch.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 6 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #6<br /> |''Darkness fears not the Heart.''<br /> | Wesli Chu is imprisoned in Molvanîa by the MIPS. CWC sends Asperchu and Jivin to Molvanîa to find him. Yawning Squirtle is recovered from the wreckage of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Wesli steals a mysterious disk from the Dean and gives it to Metal Asperchu, who tells him to kill Argentum. Asperchu 'n' pals go to the Brass Dragon, owned by Michael Snyder. Metal Asperchu scans several people, and then fights our heroes at the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Grandpa Alzheichu dies in defeating Metal.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Princess Julie, Yawning Squirtle.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Crackder, Punislav Royal Guard, GameStop boss.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Noir Chu, Grandpa Alzheichu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 7 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue 7<br /> | ''Excuses, excuses, excuses...''<br /> | The MIPS plan to set up Asperchu to fulfill the Prophecy. Asperchu meets Heaven in a bar, drinks a beer and decides to take a photograph of Snyder for his dartboard. He attempts vehicular homicide of Snyder, Perez and Grant, and is arrested for causing minor injuries to Michael Snyder. Meanwhile, Bionic tries to cure Sonichu of his possession by Ian, and they seek out Sinestro's help. A squirrel named Rocky tells him that nothing is his fault and that his Asperger's excuses everything. CWC bails him out, but Asperchu demands an apology for being left to wait THREE HOURS at the police station. Asperchu is thrown from their tower, landing on Sammy, and the liberators of CWCville go back to searching for survivors from the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. They recover Saramah Chu, who is somehow still alive. Christian Weston Chandler says that the seven Chaos Pickles are &quot;artifacts of supreme power and energy&quot;, and that they have attached themselves to seven &quot;avatars&quot; in order to remain stable in this universe. It is revealed that Asperchu, CWC, Wesli Chu, Saramah Chu and Sonichu are five of the avatars, and two are unknown. Also, Rocky is revealed to the reader to be one of the MIPS. Chris decides to lead a unit to retrieve Sonichu's Pickle. Heaven and Lisa kidnap Asperchu and bring him to Dean Waltz in a bid to retrieve the information that Metal Asperchu gave to the MIPS. Sonichu feels ecstatic after his Pickle is activated. When Chris, Rosechu and Julie come to speak to him, he has them imprisoned; Sonichu seems to have become insane. Meanwhile, Asperchu attacks the Dean with his Asperhameha, and is arrested again. Max and Jivin visit him. Jimmy Hill, King of Molvanîa, is enraged by his daughter Julie's capture, and plans to rescue her.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of &quot;Rocky&quot;.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of GAMe PLACe kids, Gerald Grant.'' <br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 8 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #8<br /> |''Trial by fire!''<br /> | Asperchu unwisely hires Yawning Squirtle to defend him. The jury consists of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu, Chloe Rosechu and the clerk from Issue 0, while Lewis Croagunk prosecutes. Squirtle makes the feeble counter-defense that Snyder was planning to break into Asperchu's house, pour Wite-Out on his playing cards and wipe his hard drive, but has nothing to back this allegation up with. Sonichu appears as witness, and says that Asperchu is innocent. &quot;Rocky&quot; convinces Asperchu to dismiss his lawyer and represent himself. Sonichu and Asperchu begin a pointless argument as to who is &quot;true and honest&quot;, and Sonichu freaks out and flees the courtroom. Jimmy Hill breaks into the courtroom and retrieves his daughter Julie. Asperchu receives life imprisonment. Sonichu appears to have absorbed too much of Ian's personality, and is thrown from Fort Grosse by Argentum.&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Lewis Croagunk, Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Chloe Rosechu.''&lt;br&gt;''Last appearance of Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue F Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #F<br /> | '' Three guesses what the F stands for...''<br /> | Argentum has sent Chris, Sonichu, Sinestro and Bionic to bizarre worlds. <br /> *Chris sees a perfect Sonichu facing CWC-Botnik, whom he easily kills. Chris realizes that this is not the real Sonichu, as he has no idea who Benny Chu (from ''Asperchu'' #0A) was.<br /> *A now-mobile Bionic finds himself the beloved son of a &quot;Rollin' and Trollin'&quot;-style Ian Brandon Anderson. Chris releases him from the fantasy world.<br /> * Sinestro is met by Naitsirhc, who brings him to Slaweel. Sinestro realizes that all this is false. Mary offers him the sixth and seventh Chaos Pickle, but Sinestro realizes that it's an illusion. He punches a hole in reality and goes to meet CWC. The avatars of the final two Pickles emerge: Megan and Lovely Weather. Argentum goes to seek the other avatars.<br /> *The diseased Sonichu struggles through a strange forest to confront the deceased Mitch Chu, who reminds Sonichu of all the evil he did in Ian's name. Sonichu becomes completed possessed by Ian's essence, becoming... Chris-Chan Sonichu.<br /> <br /> Meanwhile, in the real world, Asperchu finds prison life difficult - he is attacked by a Skullmaster and almost raped by a Poliwrath, but saved by Gumby, who decides to protect him and teach him to be a Christian. Asperchu rewrites the Bible as ''Asperchoso''. Gumby then introduces Asperchu to Jesus Himself, but Asperchu isn't very interested. Asperchu and Gumby escape the other prisoners by jumping into ''Asperchoso''. Once there, Asperchoso shoots Gumby in the shins, and Asperchu escapes the book. Poliwrath becomes a devotee of Asperchoso, and Asperchu erases Gumby from the Book, killing him.<br /> <br /> Chris and Julie arrive to break Asperchu out of prison, in order to protect him and his Chaos Pickle from Argentum.<br /> <br /> Meanwhile, Bionic creates a holographic version of the Ian who loves him.<br /> &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Lovely Weather.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of CWC-Botnik, Skullmaster, Krang, Blaziken, Poliwrath, Jesus, Asperchoso, various prisoners.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Gumby, Warden Clawdorf.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:A10.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue Ten<br /> |''It's time.''<br /> | Issue Ten has begun with Asperchu describing &quot;LITTLE BIG AUTISM&quot;, in which he talks of [[Asperger's syndrome]] in ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''. He awakes on Julie's airship and the coalition aims to defeat Argentum.<br /> &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Groovan.''<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == References ==<br /> &lt;references /&gt;<br /> ==External links==<br /> *[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ ''Asperchu'' site]<br /> *[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia](Site down)<br /> <br /> [[Category:Fan]]<br /> [[Category:Fan art]]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Asperchu/Background&diff=219323 2018-04-22T04:02:45Z

<p>European Qoheleth: /* Asperchu */</p> <hr /> <div>:''This article is about &quot;Asperchu&quot;, a very well-thought-out webcomic.&lt;br /&gt;For Chris's views and such and all that, see [[Asperchu]].''<br /> <br /> &lt;center&gt;{{#ev:youtube|yHXBFT6G5c0}}&lt;/center&gt;<br /> <br /> {{Quote|I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|rejection]], tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic [[Wikipedia:Bizarro World|bizzaro]] [[Chris]].|An anon on [[/cwc/]], summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.}}<br /> <br /> {{quote|I detest &quot;Asperchu&quot;, because one, it is a [[Parody]] of a [[Sonichu]] with [[aspergers]], which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like [[autism]], then the creator really knows nothing about Autism.|Chris&lt;ref&gt;[[Mailbag 24]]&lt;/ref&gt;}}<br /> <br /> [[Image:AsperchuFanArt.png|thumb|That's right, '''Asperchu''' is so popular, it's fan art that has received fan art of itself]]<br /> <br /> '''''The Amazing Asperchu''''' (also called ''Asperchu: The Amazing Tales'' and ''The Spectacular Asperchu'') is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' detailing the zany misadventures of [[Asperchu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] with [[Asperger syndrome]]. It can be read [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ here].<br /> <br /> ''Asperchu'' pokes fun at everything that makes [[Chris]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic series what it is. Unlike ''Sonichu'', where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast detest him. Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style - this is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|believes that it doesn't have the same &quot;character&quot;]] as [[Chris and art|his paper-and-pencil-drawn pages]].<br /> <br /> {{TOC limit|2}} <br /> <br /> ==Protagonists==<br /> <br /> ===Asperchu===<br /> [[Image:Asperchu.jpg|thumb|left|150px|The Good, Godly, STRAIGHT Asperchu]] <br /> <br /> Asperchu is a high-functioning Electric/Asperger's Hedgehog Pokémon. He has no Electric-type attacks; however, his Asperger's-type attacks do double damage against Autistic-type Pokémon. His strongest attack is the ''Asperhameha'', which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.<br /> <br /> Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late [[2003]] and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on [[YouTube]] videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his [[Xbox 360]] or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Normandale Community College]] with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin. However, Asperchu's adventures and his recent state of mind has made him forget this detail and he has missed 195 days of school.<br /> <br /> He is currently on a [[Love Quest]] to obtain a [[gal-pal]] whom he can build into a [[sweetheart from the ground up]]. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in video games and won't go anywhere without his Xbox Portable. As well, Asperchu has an incredible dislike for [[slow-in-the-mind]]s.<br /> <br /> For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream-daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] of the past. Both of them drank the [[semen|Special Fanta Brew]] that created [[Sonichu]] in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and defecated out a deformed monster, naming it &quot;Asperia&quot;. While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grew bored of taking care of her and tried leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continued playing video games. Asperia was killed by [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].<br /> <br /> Currently, Asperchu is being manipulated by a squirrel-creature calling itself &quot;[[Rocky]]&quot;, telling Asperchu that he need never take responsibility for his actions. Unbeknownst to Asperchu, &quot;Rocky&quot; is one of the mysterious [[Man in the Pickle Suit|MIPS]].<br /> <br /> It has been revealed that the source of Asperchu's powers is the Chaos Pickle of Diligence, though Asperchu believed that he was [[GodJesus]]'s next prophet.<br /> <br /> *Asperchu is, of course, based on [[Christian Weston Chandler]]; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's [[Rollin' and Trollin']] phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the [[ego]], narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the [[Love Quest]]. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent and [[naïve]] Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a [[duck|prick]] as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true: reasonably, he would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it. Asperchu's hatred of gingers is reminiscent of Chris-chan's dislike of [blacks].<br /> <br /> ===Sonichu===<br /> [[Image:TheOtherAsperchu.jpg|thumb|150px|Asperchu's bestest joy-boy Sonichu, who eventually got his own spin-off comic due to the popularity of Asperchu]] <br /> <br /> The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Or at least he ''was''...<br /> <br /> [[Sonichu]] shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the [[Troll]] Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a [[Homos|late night snuggling rendezvous]]. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of [[Virginia]], on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of [[Asperger's Syndrome]] as a component of the Autism Spectrum. Or at least he ''did...''<br /> <br /> Sonichu was created in [[1999]] by Ian Brandon Anderson through an unholy mixture of human and Chu semen with Fanta. At first, Ian was overjoyed at having a son of his own, especially one who'd be a loyal and true son, unlike [[Bionic]]. However, Ian got bored of trying to raise Sonichu, especially when it got into his video game playing time. Casting him into a raft, Sonichu floated down the river until he was found by the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, who raised Sonichu as his own son. When Ian Brandon Anderson took over [[CWCVille]], Sonichu was forced to be married off to [[Rosechu]], only for him and the rest of the [[Chaotic Combo]] to revolt. Arriving in ALBVille, he and the rest of the Chaotic Combo fought to free CWCVille from Ian's grips. However, the release of Metal Asperchu would change all that as he would slaughter most of the Combo. When Sonichu went to confront Ian at last, Metal Asperchu made short work of him, lopping off his right arm. When Asperchu, Max and Jivin returned from the past, Asperchu revealed off-handedly that Ian was his father. Sonichu went on a quest to find the truth, only to end up with Mitch Chu dead. When Christian told Sonichu the truth, it drove Sonichu insane. He hunted down Ian as he was kidnapping Asperia and blew out his kneecaps, accidentally killing Asperia. Being captured by Bionic again, he provoked Sonichu into killing Ian for good. As a gift, he grafted Ian's arm where Sonichu's once was. When Argentum was released, he teleported Asperchu and Sonichu to the time when the [[4-Cent_Garbage]] Center was destroyed, only for the hedgehog to tear apart the place. When Sonichu returns to the present, Sonichu attempts to call Asperchu a monster, but he feels himself unworthy of Chris's love and runs away.<br /> <br /> While in self-imposed exile in Molvanîa, he finds himself possessed by the soul of Ian and, in fear, runs to Bionic for help. When Bionic can't help him, the two rescue Sinestro from his prison. However, not even Sinestro understands Sonichu's odd transformation, his fur turning blue, his eyes taking Ian's [[heterochromia]] styling, [[Obesity|his cholesterol level skyrocketing]] and wanting to play the [[PS3]] for 5 to 9 hours.<br /> <br /> In an alternate universe of sorts, Sonichu is shown as an actual [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]-like character fighting an evil madman named [[Robotnik|CWC-Botnik]].<br /> <br /> At the end of Issue #F, Sonichu is no more, taken over by Ian's personality, becoming the dreaded ... '''Chris-Chan Sonichu'''.<br /> <br /> ===Max===<br /> [[Image:Max.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Asperchu's plucky, polyurethane sidekick]] <br /> <br /> Close friend of Asperchu and Jivin. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. His transformations include [[Wikipedia:Guido|Guido]], [[Wikipedia:Waffen SS|Waffen SS]], [[Niggos|2Pac]] and the Yellow Devil.<br /> <br /> At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a Christian minister.<br /> (Max is a completely original character and is not derived from [[Wikipedia:Kirby (character)|any source]] other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.)<br /> <br /> ===Jivin Pickles===<br /> [[Image:Jivin.jpg|thumb|150px|Aww, shit son, Asperchu just got GANGSTA all up in here]] <br /> <br /> The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's [[Niggos|black]] best friend. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his [[Love Quest]], although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward [[sweethearts]], while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of [[Christmas]], Jivin celebrates [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|Kwanzaa]]. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.<br /> <br /> Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode.[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/21069]<br /> <br /> ===Groovan===<br /> Close friend of Max, Asperchu and Jivin. ''Asperchu'' issue Ten claims that they have always been friends, but Asperchu seems to have failed to notice him before then due to him blending in to the background.<br /> <br /> ==Villains==<br /> ===Ian Brandon Anderson===<br /> [[Image:IBAasperchu.png|thumb|150px|left|The evil and deceitful IAN BRANDON SOMETHING]] <br /> <br /> [[Ian]] believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a [[fat]], insane manchild. Ian rules [[CWCville]] through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville People's Liberation Front (CPLF) constantly fights against his oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a perverse form of &quot;[[Dating Education|sexual education]]&quot;. <br /> <br /> This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Mayorshack Tito]]'s takeover and the return of justice to CWCville.<br /> <br /> If he doesn't get his way, he uses his [[Megatron Pistol|Transformers gun]] to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris-chan, and also attempted to murder the &quot;parodic&quot; Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and losing his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.<br /> <br /> In [[1999]], Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at [[Wendy's]] by [[Giovanni]], Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his [[gal-pals]] [[Ivy]] and [[Megan]] before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu for the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his [[comeuppance]] to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning [[Beel|Satan]] to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandoned Bionic and, ten weeks later, gave birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, left his [[duck]] bent at a horrible angle. He later abandoned Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.<br /> <br /> When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly gaining control. As the Asperchu series shares the same universe as ''[[Simonchu]]'' and ''[[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]'', it is said that he was able to con the people into thinking he was the true Christian Weston Chandler. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.<br /> <br /> Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian sought to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Upon attempting to spirit away Asperia, Sonichu blows out his kneecaps (accidentally killing Asperia) and is captured by Bionic. Bionic then uses the mentally unstable Sonichu to butcher his father. Ian finally meets his end with Sonichu's axe and Bionic's gun. As a reward, [[Metal Gear Solid|Bionic grafts Ian's right arm onto Sonichu's stump in place of the one he lost in Issue 3.]]<br /> <br /> However, the soul of Ian lives on within Sonichu and whenever he takes over, he causes Sonichu's eyes to take its heterochromic styling.<br /> <br /> *[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] is a version of Chris based on the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris. Ian's death mirrors that of the deaths of Evan, Sean, and Mao in [[Sonichu 10]].<br /> <br /> ===Bionic the Hedgehog===<br /> [[File:Bionicc.jpg|thumb|149px|Why don't you love me, father?]]<br /> Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, Bionic was a jovial and [[homos|gay]] creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in stuff other than [[ego|himself]] and [[china|women]]. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonald's, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.<br /> <br /> Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily-esque]] fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonald's. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.<br /> <br /> Bionic returns and seemingly reveals his true master plan: by driving Sonichu insane through the revelation of his true parentage, he uses the broken Electric Hedgehog Pokémon to murder Ian Brandon Anderson; in essence, turning his favorite son against him. His plans for the body of the dead Asperia is currently unknown.<br /> <br /> He attempted to help Sonichu with his strange transformation, but Sonichu stopped him and Sinestro, feeling this new form is much better. He is later called in to be a judge[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/482] for Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> *Bionic's condition is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:Christopher Pike|Christopher Pike]], the first captain of ''Star Trek's USS Enterprise'', with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light. His judge outfit resembles that worn by [[Wikipedia:Q (Star Trek)|Q]] in the ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek: The Next Generation|Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' series premiere, &quot;[[Wikipedia:Encounter at Farpoint|Encounter at Farpoint]]&quot; and again in the finale, &quot;[[Wikipedia:All Good Things...|All Good Things...]]&quot;.<br /> *Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on [[Wikipedia:Davros|Davros]], one of the main villains on ''[[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]].''<br /> *Also, Bionic's base is based off a [[dream]] Chris mentioned about people being killed in a &quot;[[Mailbag_39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED]]&quot; factory.<br /> <br /> ===Metal Asperchu===<br /> Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo. <br /> <br /> From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast [[McDonald's|food restaurants]] and killing [[Robotnik|Teddy Roosevelt]]. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bubastis Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes. After killing Cthulu Chu, he figures out the secret of the Fourth Directive and forces Sinestro to watch his work finally unfold. However, after the creation of Argentum and his subsequent turning, Metal Asperchu has gone into a massive blue screen of death. Soon after, WesLi Chu gives Metal Asperchu a disk and he begins scanning seven individuals who are part of the Anchuent Prophecy. He scans Asperchu, WesLi Chu, Sonichu, Chris and two others (presumably Alzheichu and Dino Dash) before the heroes attack him in his attempt to get the last one. He attacks Noir Chu and Aspercream and defeats many of the heroes before Alzheichu stabs him with Chris's knife, briefly causing him to go haywire and explode, destroying him and finally releasing the Chaos Pickles. <br /> <br /> * Based on [[Metal Sonichu]] who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.<br /> <br /> ===Other villains===<br /> <br /> ;Sinestro<br /> As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation. He was recently rescued by Sonichu and Bionic in an attempt to cure Sonichu's odd transformation.<br /> *Sinestro's name comes from a [[Wikipedia:Sinestro|comic-book villain]], while his appearance is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Il Palazzo]] of ''[[Excel Saga]]'' (whose appearance was also copied by Chris for the character [[ScotPalazzo]]), and his hairstyle is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:OrganizationXIII#Xemnas|Xemnas]] of the ''[[Wikipedia:Kingdom Hearts|Kingdom Hearts]]'' series and/or [[Wikipedia:Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)|Sephiroth]] from the [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy|Final Fantasy]] series.<br /> <br /> ;Lisa<br /> A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion. She has recently returned in an attempt to find and retrieve a disk that had been used by Metal Asperchu<br /> *Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart [[Blanca]]. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion. Her asking him out on a fake date is based on the acts of proto-troll [[Hanna]].<br /> <br /> ;John and Kendra<br /> John (YouTube handle: '''GJ-Radar''', &quot;GJ&quot; presumably standing for [[GodJesus]]) is a born-again Baptist from rural Texas; He also represents some of Chris's [[Chris and religion|religious]] beliefs, such as his fear of [[Niggos|darkies]] and [[Homos|homogays]], aside from [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. John and his fiancée '''Kendra''' traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's YouTube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded that he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a YouTube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.<br /> * Based off the [[Singstar Challenge]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. John and Kendra most likely represent [[Liquid]] and [[Kacey]].<br /> <br /> ;Dino Dash<br /> Dino Dash is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.<br /> *Dino Dash is based on [[Clyde Cash]].<br /> <br /> ;Count Plot Cohesuon<br /> Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of ''dei ex machina''.&lt;!--plural of &quot;deus ex machina&quot;--&gt; According to Alec's comments on Issue 5E, Plot Cohesuon is Count Graduon's cousin and he's also dead, having used his powers on himself in an accident.<br /> *Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of [[Count Graduon]] from the original Sonichu comic.<br /> <br /> ;Silvana Rosechu<br /> The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become [[Meg Griffin]] for Ian's pleasure.[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/231] She also has a noticeable bulge.<br /> <br /> ;Yellow Devil<br /> A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is defeated by the real Chris.<br /> *Based on the [[List_of_Mega_Man_characters#Bio-Devil|Yellow Devil]] from the ''Megaman'' game series.<br /> <br /> ==Supporting characters==<br /> <br /> ===Asperchu's family===<br /> <br /> ;Grandpa Alzheichu<br /> Asperchu's grandfather, an [[racist|old-fashioned]] Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do [[stress]]ful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Grandma Snorlax. Alzheichu sacrifices himself to stop Metal Asperchu's assault.<br /> *Alzheichu is based on [[Bob Chandler]].<br /> <br /> ;Grandma Snorlax<br /> <br /> Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost her left foot due to Asperia's hunger.<br /> *&quot;[[Wikipedia:Snorlax|Snorlax]]&quot; is the nickname given to [[Barbara Chandler]].<br /> <br /> ;Asperia Chu<br /> <br /> The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]] in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.<br /> <br /> In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's [[pedofork]] tendencies. He also describes her as &quot;the pinnacle of his existence&quot;, attributing to his own narcissism.<br /> <br /> Sadly, Asperia is the latest victim of Ian Brandon Anderson's evils. Having been kidnapped by the madmanchild, she is accidentally killed by a vengeful Sonichu in his attempts to get back at him. However, Bionic recovers her body, and it is heavily implied he has plans for her since he sympathizes with having a neglectful father.<br /> <br /> *Asperia Chu is based on [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her &quot;father's.&quot; Also, Asperia's [[Wikipedia:Alien (creature in Alien franchise)|&quot;Alien&quot; appearance]] may be a jab at the [[Sonee and Rosey]] designs which have horrified many.<br /> <br /> ===[[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)|The Chaotic Combo]]===<br /> *'''Wild Sonichu''' is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.<br /> <br /> *'''Angelica Rosechu''' uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.<br /> <br /> *'''Punchy Sonichu''' is the master of the &quot;anshuent Chinaman martial arts.&quot; He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.<br /> <br /> *'''Bubbles Rosechu''' is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely [[retarded|slow-in-the-mind]] and is prone to injuring herself.<br /> <br /> *'''Magi-Chan Sonichu''' uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and [[Mass debate]] to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.<br /> <br /> Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.<br /> <br /> ===Christian Weston Chandler===<br /> [[Image:RealcwcAsperchu.png|thumb|150px|The TRUE and HONEST CWC (also the true and honest medallion)]] <br /> <br /> Sonichu's father and creator, Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert &quot;The Lumberjack&quot; Chandler]] and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.<br /> <br /> In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokémon to be the creature who he was now.<br /> <br /> It's been revealed that Chris is the avatar of the Chaos Pickle of Patience.<br /> <br /> *Christian Chandler is based on [[Liquid Chris]]. The knife he carries is based on [[Sonichu Special 4]].<br /> <br /> ===Argentum===<br /> <br /> The end result of Metal Asperchu's experiments, it is the Asperchu clone that has its fourth directive unlocked. It has the ability to warp spacetime and seems to be capable of feeding off the pain of others.<br /> <br /> *Argentum's design is a mixture of the Pokémon [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]] and Sonic the Hedgehog character [[Wikipedia:Silver the Hedgehog|Silver the Hedgehog]], but may have been inspired by [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|Mewchu]]. His name is Latin for &quot;silver&quot;.<br /> <br /> ===Other characters===<br /> ;Heaven Fatterton<br /> <br /> Lisa's accomplice and a fat ginger. She pretends to be Lisa during Asperchu's date so that she can steal the Asperchu medallion while Lisa films the date for blackmail. When her wig falls of, Asperchu is to dense to realize she's a phony and instead thinks there's two Lisas when the real Lisa shows up. Heaven has a thinner, bustier sister named Hortense who was killed by [[Bob Chandler]] for getting close to Chris-Chan.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Chu]]<br /> <br /> Sonichu's cousin. He's a [[Homos|gay]] hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is &quot;Razzle-dazzle&quot;. When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noir Chu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him. <br /> <br /> Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]] in ''[[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]''.<br /> <br /> *Mitch Chu is based on [[Mitch Sonichu]], Chris's take on Asperchu's &quot;EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER&quot; in [[Sonichu 10]]. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.<br /> <br /> ;Simonchu<br /> <br /> Although [[Simonchu]] stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.<br /> <br /> ;Dixie Chu<br /> <br /> The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie has been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining &quot;Dix&quot; as his sweetheart. She recently returned to testify against Asperchu in his trial<br /> <br /> * Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's [[gal-pals]], but is probably more centered on [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Kacey]].<br /> <br /> ;Jonas Chu<br /> <br /> Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by &quot;cheating&quot; by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.<br /> <br /> He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.<br /> <br /> * May have been based off the events from [[CWC More Than A Feeling]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. His waistcoast and name derive from the [[Wikipedia:Jonas brothers|Jonas brothers]].<br /> <br /> ;Denubius King<br /> <br /> His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He is a [[niggo|black]] kingpin in pimp attire and carries a pimp cane with an afro on it, called the &quot;Staff of Suffrage&quot;. He kidnaps Jivin's father and tries to steal the Pickles family farm to get his hands on the Chaos Pickle they're guarding, but is foiled by Jivin.<br /> <br /> ;Bullet-Time Montgomery.<br /> <br /> First appeared in the Jivin Sub-Episode. He works for Denubius King and is a crack-shot with a revolver. Denubius orders him to kill Jivin, but Jivin knocks him out with &quot;Deus ex BLACKina&quot;. He later reappears as a juror at Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> ;[[Rosechu]]<br /> Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she [[pickle|can satisfy his needs]], which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him. It's later revealed that Rosechu cheats on Sonichu all the time; she's also banged Punchy, Naitsirhc, and even Dino Dash. She is later used as a gamble chip to win back Sonichu, but it proves ineffective.<br /> <br /> *Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after events in the [[Mailbag]].<br /> <br /> ;Whispy Sonichu<br /> <br /> Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being Oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.<br /> <br /> ;Larry D. Waltz<br /> <br /> Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with [[niggos|an African-American]] in exchange for a mysterious disc. When the disk is later stolen by WesLi Chu, he appoints Lisa to get it back. He nearly gets his head taken off by one of Asperchu's Asper-Ha-Me-Has.<br /> *Larry is based on [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has a resemblance to [[Jimmy Hill]].<br /> <br /> ;Sitting Chu<br /> <br /> Sitting Chu is the head of ALBville's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu.<br /> *Sitting Chu is based off of the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]].<br /> <br /> ;Jimarcus Chu<br /> <br /> A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.<br /> *Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on [[Inos]] and his physical appearance is based off of [http://www.grandtheftwiki.com/Little_Jacob Little Jacob]. His name is derived from [[Wikipedia:Jamaica|Jamaica]] and [[Wikipedia:Marcus Garvey|Marcus Garvey]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Doctor Robotnik]]<br /> <br /> It seems that the once-feared nemesis of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a [[McDonald's]]. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to ''seriously'' pay for a $31 meal with food stamps worth $10. He is then killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.<br /> <br /> ;Megan and Ivy<br /> <br /> Two of the younger Ian's [[gal-pals]]. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have [[hanky panky]] only to be tazed by Megan.<br /> <br /> * Megan and Ivy are based off of [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Ivy]].<br /> <br /> ;Principal Blaziken<br /> The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.<br /> * Principal Blaziken is based off [[Sonichu 10]]'s Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.<br /> <br /> ;[[Sammy]]<br /> A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in [[Cwc-isms|odd phrases]]. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle. He later returns, alive and well, as a cushion for Asperchu's fall.<br /> *While he is obviously modeled after [[Sammy]] from ''Sonichu'' (who was in turn a ripoff of [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]), he's also taken on some traits from ''Homestar Runner'' character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted &quot;word salads&quot; and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as &quot;All aboard the Gravy Train!&quot;<br /> <br /> ;Bubastis Chu<br /> Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's [[Capering Berries]] in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film ''Watchmen'', and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.<br /> <br /> ;[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]<br /> Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler was his sister. And being the massive [[Chris and ego|narcissist]] that he is, believed that his ideal partner was [[incest|his closest genetic match]]. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a [[Pedofork|thong]].<br /> *Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.<br /> <br /> ;Mayorshack Tito<br /> The new democratically-elected mayor of [[CWCville]] after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's [[niggo|black]].<br /> *Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll [[Surfshack Tito]], who gets his name from Tito Makani Jr. of ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''. Mayorshack Tito's appearance is also based on Tito Makani Jr.<br /> <br /> ;Noir Chu and Aspercream<br /> [[File:Noir.jpg|thumb|Noir is fed up with this shit.]]<br /> Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaunn into the mix. However, DeShaunn's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the Albville Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. After being banished by Sinestro for losing Noir Chu, Aspercream ran off to Albville where she was reunited with Noir. When Sonichu ran off to find Ian, Noir Chu takes Asperchu to find and stop them, with Aspercream pleading not to get hurt, SOMEHOW knowing that it was Asperchu who got Magi-Chan killed. Both Noir Chu and Aspercream are wounded in Metal Asperchu's rampage, but survive.<br /> * Noir Chu is based on [[Blake]]. Aspercream resembles [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]].<br /> <br /> ;Princess [[Julie]]<br /> <br /> One of the members of the [[Molvanîa]]n Royal Family. She and the others have strong ties with the Rebels of CWCVille.<br /> <br /> * Princess Julie is based off of the infamous troll of the same name. Her design, however, is based off of [[Wikipedia: Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]] of ''King of the Hill''.<br /> <br /> ;[[Crackder]]<br /> <br /> One of Ian's attempts at making sentient war machines. However, it is slow-in-the-mind, rambles off random-access humor and is against war. Asperchu hates him because he's a slow-in-the-mind.<br /> <br /> *Crackder is based off of the Decepticon Chris created of the same name.<br /> <br /> ;[[Yawning Squirtle]]<br /> <br /> We don't know how the hell he got off the [[Moon]], but he's off of it and still smoking it up. It was revealed that he was Mayorshack Tito's opponent in the CWCville elections, and currently works as an attorney. His hated rival is Lewis Croagunk, who opposed him in Asperchu's trial.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mimms]] and Lucas<br /> <br /> Two patrons of the Brass Dragon. Mimms sports a wicked green 'fro.<br /> <br /> *Both Mimms and Lucas are based off of the CWC informants who frequented the GAMe PLACe. Lucas's design resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Lucas (Mother)|the character of the same name from the ''Mother'' series]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Rocky]]<br /> <br /> A mysterious squirrel with green antenna. He calls Asperchu &quot;dum-dum&quot; and tries to steer him in the opposite direction to make him blameless. In actuality, Rocky is MIPS 09, attempting to steer Asperchu into fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.<br /> *While Rocky's design and speech resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Rocky the Flying Squirrel]] of the ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' cartoons and [[Wikipedia:The Great Gazoo|The Great Gazoo]] of ''The Flintstones'', the creature is also a parody of [[Rocky Shoemaker]], Chris's pastoral counselor (although the real Rocky is not as indulgent as the ''Asperchu'' Rocky). <br /> <br /> ;[[Jimmy Hill]]<br /> <br /> Ruler of Molvanîa and Princess Julie's father. Enjoys playing Pokémon trading-card games. When he finds out of Julie's capture, he opts to move out to save her.<br /> <br /> *Jimmy Hill resembles the old man used in the earlier Chris trolling schemes, but his mannerisms match more of Hank Hill of ''King of the Hill''.<br /> <br /> ;Lewis Croagunk<br /> <br /> The prosecutor for Asperchu's trial. It is revealed that he is old rivals with Yawning Squirtle and he seems to be a very competent lawyer. Oddly, for a Croagunk, he has a human's head.<br /> <br /> *Lewis Croagunk may be a parody of Chris's various court-based characters from ''Sonichu 10''.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Croagunk|Croagunk]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].<br /> <br /> ;Prison inmates<br /> <br /> A gathering of the biggest, baddest villains and other faces from various TV shows, including Skullmaster of ''Mighty Max'', Krang from the 1980s ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' cartoons, Tohru, Finn, and Ratso from ''Jackie Chan Adventures'', and an assortment of Pokémon (most notably a rapist Poliwrath). <br /> <br /> ;Warden Clawdorf<br /> <br /> Warden of the prison Asperchu is locked up in. He's a real [[niggos|black]] [[duck|dick]].<br /> <br /> *[[Clawdorf]] is [[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s archnemesis in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] who appears only in a silhouette, which inadvertently resembles a penis with arms. ''Asperchu'' Clawdorf parodies this.<br /> <br /> ;Gumby<br /> <br /> One of children's lovable creations was an inmate in the jail after accidentally killing a child inside a book. He had converted to Christianity and attempted to do so with Asperchu, but only got him to create his own Bible with him as the Son of God. He is wiped from existence after Asperchu leaves him inside his book.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Gumby|Gumby]] was a [[REAL Protest against the FAKE|C-L-A-Y]] character created by Art Clokey.<br /> ;Asperchoso<br /> <br /> Asperchu's avatar in his &quot;Second Greatest Story Ever Told&quot;. The paragon of manliness and a Son of God, he prevents others from getting girlfriends by blowing their kneecaps out.<br /> <br /> *Asperchoso's name is derived from the Rabbichosos from [[Vivian Gee]]'s &quot;[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]&quot; story. His actions are similar to Chris's in [[Sonichu Special 4]], when he blows Liquid Chris's kneecaps off.<br /> <br /> ;Poliwrath<br /> <br /> A hardened criminal who tried to [[rape|make Asperchu his bitch]] upon his arrival. However, after Asperchu and Gumby escaped into Asperchu's book, he quickly became a convert to Asperchu's &quot;religion&quot;.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Poliwrath|Poliwrath]] are a variety of [[Pokémon]].<br /> <br /> ===4-Cent_Garbage Center residents===<br /> <br /> ;[[Naitsirhc]]<br /> <br /> Naitsirhc has a brief cameo in the 4-Cent_Garbage Center that Argentum recreates. He is seen alongside [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. He attempts to get Sonichu to calm down, but ends up getting his neck snapped by the hedgehog.<br /> <br /> *Unbelievably, Naitsirhc in Asperchu looks ''[[Homos|even gayer]]'', as he sports earrings and crotchless chaps.<br /> <br /> ;[[Mary Lee Walsh]]<br /> <br /> Another one of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. When Sonichu tears apart the building, she and Count Graduon go and unleash Joshua Martinez.<br /> <br /> *Mary's design in Asperchu borrows largely from ''[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|Final Fantasy VIII]]'' villain Ultimecia.<br /> <br /> ;[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]<br /> Owner of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. His appearance is identical to that in Sonichu. When he confronts ''Sonichu'', he is killed in the same manner Rosechu attacked him.<br /> <br /> ;[[Clyde Cash]]<br /> Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by [[:Image:325504_-_Chris-chan_clyde_cash.jpg|this piece of fanart.]] According to Asperpedia's article on Clyde, he, [[Brian Bash]] and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past. Clyde Cash makes another appearance, this time in the 4-Cent Garbage tower. When Plautistic captures Sonichu, Clyde and Jack go to finish Sonichu. Clyde is shown wearing Spider-Man's pants and boots and is able to shoot webbing from his hands.<br /> <br /> *Clyde's design is based off of the picture Chris found of Clyde (actually a photo of Joe Hotti). His having Spider-Man powers is based off of [[No More Jokes|the set of videos trying to troll Clyde]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Jack Thaddeus]]<br /> Seen in the 4-Cent Garbage Tower alongside Clyde Cash. His appearance is similar to that in Sonichu. He uses the Goblin Glider and Pumpkin Bombs of [[Wikipedia:Norman Osborn|the Green Goblin]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Count Graduon]]<br /> One of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance resembles a [[duck|penis]]. When Sonichu tears apart the building, he and Mary Lee Walsh free Joshua Martinez. When the creature is destroyed, Joshua tosses him aside.<br /> <br /> ;Chief Boyd<br /> One of the heads of the COProtectors. Is brutally murdered by Sonichu.<br /> *Based on the [[Jerkhief]] from ''Sonichu''; &quot;COProtectors&quot; is an inversion of &quot;[[jerkop]]&quot;.<br /> <br /> ;[[Bagget]]<br /> Head of security at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. A no-nonsense type of guy, Bagget tries to get Asperchu to reveal where Sonichu is before the hedgehog confronts the two of them. Sadly, Bagget falls to Sonichu.<br /> <br /> ;[[Wall of Originals|Plautistic]]<br /> A mysterious creature held by those within the 4-Cent Garbage Building bonded with Joshua Martinez When Sonichu goes on a rampage, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon release it. The creature resembles the mythical creature Hydra. Its leaves can be smoked as a type of [[Tobacky|drug]].<br /> <br /> ;[[Joshua Martinez]]<br /> A Mexican who was once bonded with Plautistic. In the heat of battle, Sonichu tears him from Plautistic, then tears his head off.<br /> <br /> ;[[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wesli Chu]]<br /> A hedgehog working within the 4-Cent Garbage Building. ACTUALLY knows magic, including his own Anchuent power, Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha. He's such a manly man, he can even make full-on [[Megagi|bull dykes]] crave his [[duck]]. After escaping the destruction of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, the MIPS made him give a data CD to Metal Asperchu. Shortly after, his memory was wiped. It has been revealed that he holds the Chaos Pickle of Chastity.<br /> <br /> ;[[Giovanni]]<br /> The feared leader of [[Team Rocket]] and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again. Years later, he takes up residence at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When his son is killed by Sonichu's hand, he confronts Sonichu, using a small army of Pokémon to stop him. Sonichu uses said Pokémon to kill Giovanni, mostly by impaling him with them.<br /> <br /> ;[[CADD Chef]]<br /> <br /> Killed in the destruction of 4-cent.<br /> <br /> ;[[Michael Snyder]]<br /> A Jewish magician working for the MIPS. He also runs [[The GAMe PLACe|The Brass Dragon]] and is frustrated by Sonichu's attempts to trade a rare Black Lotus card with a ''Pokémon Ruby'' cartridge. He was responsible for helping Jack and Clyde escape.<br /> <br /> ;MIPS<br /> <br /> Self-aware supercomputers that help run 4-Cent. Michael Snyder reports directly to them and contacts them by pickle-phone. He asks them to help evacuate the building, but they claim they're using up all their resources to [[100 2178|control the realtors]]. They are capable of meeting anywhere, including in space. They are keenly interested in fulfilling the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].<br /> *MIPS are a personification of Chris's paranoid belief in a [[100 2178|conspiracy by the Greene County school board]] to keep his family in Ruckersville so he can stay in his &quot;autistic shell&quot;. MIPS is speculated to stand for &quot;[[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Men In Pickle Suits]]&quot;.<br /> <br /> ;[[ScotPalazzo]]<br /> <br /> Killed in the destruction of 4cent.<br /> <br /> ;[[Megagi]] Chu<br /> A purple lesbian skunk who broke Sonichu's heart in the past and has orgies with Saramah Chu, Jiggliami and even Wes-Li. Is killed with Saramah Chu's torn off arms, taunting him to then end.<br /> <br /> ;[[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Chu]]<br /> A yellow Rosechu who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. Her arms are ripped off, the trauma killing her. However, after the destruction of Metal Asperchu, her Chaos Pickle, Temperance, returned to her and revived and restored her.<br /> <br /> ;[[Jiggliami]]<br /> A pink Jigglypuff humanoid who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. She is killed when Sonichu punches through her head.<br /> <br /> ===Chaos Pickles===<br /> <br /> The Chaos Pickles are seven magical items of great power. According to Chris, the pickles are within seven special people and, should they be removed, they enable its user to be revived and restored once they are freed again.<br /> <br /> {| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Image<br /> !Color<br /> ! Trait<br /> ! Location<br /> !Avatar<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-violet.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Purple<br /> |Kindness<br /> |Owned by the Pickles family; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Lovely Weather<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-blue.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Blue<br /> |Temperance<br /> |Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu<br /> |Saramah Chu<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-green.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Green<br /> |Patience<br /> |Owned by Flame the Sunbird; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Christian Weston Chandler<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-pink.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Pink<br /> |Charity<br /> |Owned by Bionic; given to Metal Asperchu in return for murdering Robotnik<br /> |Megan<br /> |-<br /> |[[File:Pickle-orange.jpg|50px]]<br /> |Orange<br /> |Chastity<br /> |Owned by Sammy; stolen by Metal Asperchu<br /> |Wesli Chu<br /> |-<br /> | – <br /> |Yellow<br /> |Diligence<br /> |Inside Asperchu<br /> |Asperchu<br /> |-<br /> | – <br /> |Red<br /> |Humility<br /> | -<br /> |Ian Brandon Anderson<br /> |}<br /> <br /> *The Chaos Pickles parody the [[Sonichu Balls]]. They are each named for one of the [[Wikipedia:Seven virtues#Seven heavenly virtues|seven heavenly virtues]].<br /> <br /> ==Locations==<br /> <br /> ===Alzheichu's Home===<br /> This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, back-breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an [[Hex Bawx|XBox 360]], which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant [[stress]], since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.<br /> * A parody of [[Tour of Chris's house|Chris's house]].<br /> <br /> ===The Brass Dragon===<br /> A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart. Michael Snyder runs the shop. Asperchu is now officially banned from the store for trying to steal a rare card.<br /> * This is a parody of [[The GAMe PLACe]].<br /> <br /> ===Pickles Ranch===<br /> Home of Jivin and Dick Pickles, who owned a Chaos Pickle before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.<br /> *Resembles the Skywalker farm from [[Wikipedia:Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope|''Star Wars'']].<br /> <br /> ===[[CWCville]]===<br /> Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into [[dating education|brothels]] as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to [[Liquid|Chris's]] efforts, and [[Surfshack Tito|Mayorshack Tito]] won the first CWCville election in years.<br /> <br /> ===Albville===<br /> Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with [[Evan|ECGville]] during a brief war with old [[CWCville|RFCville]] and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, who has since disappeared in [[Sonichu 10|mysterious circumstances]].<br /> <br /> ===Bionic's fortress===<br /> [[Bionic]]'s base of operations, which was abandoned when [[Liquid|Chris]] came to Sonichu's rescue.<br /> *Based on [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily's]] fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|SKULL-SHAPED factory]] where [[Tobacky|smokers]] were murdered.<br /> <br /> ===[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent_Garbage Center]]===<br /> The remnants of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's [[trolls|&quot;Undesirables&quot;]] and he [[Twin Falling Towers|flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building]] to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered &quot;Ian's most terrible legacy&quot;. Argentum brings Sonichu and Asperchu to the restored Center, where Sonichu climbs the building to confront his father. It is revealed that Ian's airplane did jack shit and it was Sonichu's Roaring Rampage of Revenge that caused the destruction in the first place. Ian was probably blamed for it because he was the only one still alive to take the blame. It is also revealed that it was destroyed during the Chaotic Funeral.<br /> *The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is a combination of [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu_10#Rage_Against_the_Garbage_2:_Electric_Boogaloo|Rage Against the Garbage 2]] and an infamous Chris video mocking [[Clyde]] by comparing him to [[Twin Falling Towers|the destruction of the World Trade Center]].<br /> <br /> ===Molvanîa===<br /> <br /> An oddball East European country. Home of the MIPS and the survivors of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center survivors.<br /> *[[Molvanîa]] was the home of [[Julie]] and [[Max]], named after a fictional East European country created by Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch.<br /> <br /> ==Issues==<br /> Thus far, sixteen issues (and one Sub-Episode) of ''Asperchu'' have been released. The confusing issue numbering (0–0A–0B–C–1–2–3–3D–4–5–5E–6–7–8–F–Ten) is a [[parody]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which began its issue numbering with [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and then complicated the matter with numbered &quot;Episodes&quot; and &quot;Sub-Episodes&quot; (so [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] is the fourth issue, and contains Episodes 10 and 11 and Sub-Episode 4).<br /> ===List of issues===<br /> <br /> {|class=&quot;wikitable&quot;<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Cover<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; colspan=&quot;2&quot; | Issue<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Title<br /> ! style=&quot;background:silver;&quot; | Plot summary<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:a0.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #0<br /> |''ASPERCHU'S First Date... and his first villain!''<br /> | Asperchu goes on a date with Lisa, and is tricked into having his medallion stolen.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Asperchu, Max, Jivin Pickles, Lisa, Heaven.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 0A Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue 0A<br /> | ''The challenge of TRUE Piety''<br /> | Asperchu makes a video attacking the trolls, provoking the ire of Christian couple Kendra and John. Grandpa Alzheichu refuses to let Jivin enter his house. John confronts Asperchu over his unChristian attitudes; Asperchu retaliates by forging a new medallion. Lisa tells John that she stole the original medallion.&lt;br&gt; ''First appearance of Grandpa Alzheichu, Sitting Chu, Jormungand.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Calvin, Kendra, John, Micah, Benny Chu, W.E.B. Dubois, various Normandale students.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:JIVIN_Issue_0_Page_1.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;black&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Jivin Sub-Episode<br /> | ''Jivin's first solo adventure!''<br /> | Jivin's father is captured by Denubius King, but Jivin rescues him. It turns out that the Pickles family owns one of the fabled Chaos Pickles.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Dick Pickles, Bullet-Time Montgomery.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Denubius King.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 0B Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue 0B<br /> | ''Swords and Axes... the Duel of Ages!''<br /> | Jonas Chu defeats Asperchu in a ''Guitar Hero'' tournament, then is kidnapped by Dino Dash. Jivin fails to seduce Dixie. Asperchu makes a weak attempt at impersonating Jonas on YouTube, then fails to prevent Dixie's abduction.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Grandma Snorlax, Sonichu, Dixie Chu, Dino Dash, Sinestro, Jonas Chu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue C Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue C<br /> | ''Things are coming to a head!''<br /> | Asperchu is kidnapped by Sinestro, who has created many Asperchu clones. &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Christian Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Metal Asperchu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Autischu, Down Chu, XXY Chu.'' <br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 1 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue #1<br /> | ''The big leagues.''<br /> | Metal seizes Simonchu's drill medallion. Sonichu introduces Asperchu to the Chaotic Combo, and Magi-Chan enters a trance in order to track down Metal - but Asperchu makes him find Dixie instead. Wild tells of the oppression wreaked by Mayor Anderson. Metal takes the first Chaos Pickle from the Pickles family. Sinestro creates Noir Chu and (accidentally) Aspercream. The Combo fight Metal Asperchu, who kills three of them and then finds the second Pickle in a mysterious skull-shaped factory.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Simonchu, Bubbles, Larry D. Waltz, Magi-Chan, Noir Chu, Aspercream, Mitch Chu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Punchy, Angelica, and Wild.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 2 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #2<br /> | ''The quest for the Chaos Pickles continues.''<br /> | The funeral of Punchy, Angelica and Wild takes place. Metal Asperchu forces the second Chaos Pickle from Bionic, who tells him the owner of the third Pickle: Flame the Sunbird. Rosechu and Simonchu hook up at the funeral (despite Magi-Chan's love for Simonchu), while a confused Noir Chu confronts his clone-brother Asperchu. Mitch Chu brings Noir and Asperchu to Sitting Chu's Soup Hotel in ALBville, where Noir gives up his gun and they meet the Basement Rosechus. Asperchu is kicked out for eating the homeless's food, and attempts to buy a McDonald's meal with food stamps. Metal kills Robotnik in return for Bionic giving him the fourth Chaos Pickle. Silvana murders Bubbles and hacks into Magi-Chan's computer. Bionic then asks that Metal Asperchu bring him Christian Weston Chandler - alive.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Rosechu, Bionic, Silvana.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Whispy, Thomas Jefferson, Flame the Sunbird, Jimarcus Chu, Officer Louis Perez, Moe Chu, Brit-Tay Rosechu, Mary Rosechu, Rosee.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Ivo Robotnik.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Bubbles.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 3 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #3<br /> |'' Taking the battle to the enemy.''<br /> | Sinestro and Waltz unsuccessfully interrogate Aspercream to find out Noir Chu's location. Sonichu 'n' pals try to liberate CWCville. Magi-Chan is murdered by Silvana, who brings Asperchu to Ian Brandon Anderson. Sonichu, Mitch and Simonchu confront IBA, but then Metal breaks in and cuts off Sonichu's hand. Ian enters his Son-Chu suit and fights back. He cripples Metal Asperchu, but is then is set on fire by Metal and thrown from his tower. Metal then activates his four Chaos Pickles and takes on a new form.&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of IBA's legion of Sonichus.''&lt;br&gt;''Last appearance of Silvana.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Magi-Chan.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 3D Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #3D<br /> | ''Travel through the third dimension... Time!''<br /> | Asperchu, Max and Jivin have been sent back to 1999. 1999-Ian takes them to Manchester High School, and beats up the modern IBA. Bionic then appears and talks to the trio. 1999-Ian molests Ivy, is tasered by Megan and then meets Blaziken, who tries to molest him. Bionic kills Blaziken, but Asperchu claims credit. A distraught Bionic attempts suicide, but Jivin saves him. 1999-Ian mixes Asperchu's comeuppance with his own to create Sonichu. The two Ians then fight, their Curse-ye-ha-me-has crossing to knock our heroes back to their own time. In 2000, Ian gives birth to Sonichu, while in the modern day, Metal Asperchu confronts Asperchu and Ian.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Bill the Scientist, Megan.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Ian's boss, Ivy, Satan.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Principal Blaziken.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 4 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;|<br /> | Issue #4<br /> | ''Metal and glass...''<br /> | Asperchu reveals to Sonichu than Ian is his true father. Metal Asperchu takes the fifth Chaos Pickle from Sammy. Asperchu craps out Asperia. Metal demands that Sinestro tell him what the &quot;fourth directive&quot; is. Sonichu, Simonchu and Mitch break into Ian's cell in order to find Sonichu's true origin. Simonchu is captured by Bionic. Asperia eats Grandma Snorlax's foot. Max defeats the Yellow Devil, then Christian Weston Chandler arrives. Bionic shoots Mitch and flees.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Yellow Devil, Cthulhu Chu, Sammy.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Bubastis Chu.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Mitch Chu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 5 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #5<br /> | ''The end of one, beginning of another.''<br /> | Ian Brandon Anderson realizes that Asperchu was the part-creator of Sonichu. Mayorshack Tito is the new Mayor of CWCville - CWC shows Asperchu the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, and tells Sonichu that Ian is his real father. In a rage, Sonichu hunts down his father, shooting Ian in both knees. The Yellow Devil captures Sonichu, Noir Chu and Asperchu, and brings them to Bionic. Metal Asperchu realizes that the &quot;fourth directive&quot; will work on an immature Asperchu clone. Bionic goads Sonichu into killing IBA, and he accidentally shoots Asperia. Metal creates Argentum, who rebuilds the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Sonichu climbs the 4-Cent_Garbage Center in order to gain revenge on his father.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Argentum, Slaweel the Witch, Naitsirhc, Jack Thaddeus, Mayorshack Tito, Jason Kendrick Howell.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Cthulhu Chu, Ian Brandon Anderson, Asperia.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 5E Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #5E<br /> | ''A bloody fight.''<br /> | Sonichu fights his way up the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, killing Naitsirhc, Jerkops, Jason Kendrick Howell and Bagget, before being attacked by Plautistic, Jack Thaddeus, Clyde Cash and Joshua Martinez. Sonichu then aims to kill Asperchu, only to be interrupted by Wes-Li Chu, who shows him some &quot;magic&quot;. Giovanni then battles Sonichu with his elite Pokémon, who Sonichu defeats. He then reaches &quot;WesLi Chu's Luv Shack&quot;, where Megagi Chu, Saramah and Jiggliami mock him and are murdered by him. Sonichu fights Wes-Li again, but is teleported to the top of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center, where he fights Slaweel, who transforms into an Ultimecia-style dragon. Asperchu accidentally kills her by throwing his Xbox Portable into her mouth. The 4-Cent_Garbage Center is destroyed, and Sonichu realizes that Asperchu is also his father.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Michael Snyder, MIPS, Saramah Chu, Wesli Chu, Blazebob Sonichu.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Giovanni, Plautistic, Count Graduon, CADD Chef, Shuckle, Metapod, Castform, Delibird.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Jerkops, Bagget, Joshua Martinez, Megagi Chu, Jiggliami.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Naitsirhc, Jason Kendrick Howell, Slaweel the Witch.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 6 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #6<br /> |''Darkness fears not the Heart.''<br /> | Wesli Chu is imprisoned in Molvanîa by the MIPS. CWC sends Asperchu and Jivin to Molvanîa to find him. Yawning Squirtle is recovered from the wreckage of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Wesli steals a mysterious disk from the Dean and gives it to Metal Asperchu, who tells him to kill Argentum. Asperchu 'n' pals go to the Brass Dragon, owned by Michael Snyder. Metal Asperchu scans several people, and then fights our heroes at the ruins of the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. Grandpa Alzheichu dies in defeating Metal.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Princess Julie, Yawning Squirtle.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Crackder, Punislav Royal Guard, GameStop boss.''&lt;br&gt;''Death of Noir Chu, Grandpa Alzheichu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 7 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue 7<br /> | ''Excuses, excuses, excuses...''<br /> | The MIPS plan to set up Asperchu to fulfill the Prophecy. Asperchu meets Heaven in a bar, drinks a beer and decides to take a photograph of Snyder for his dartboard. He attempts vehicular homicide of Snyder, Perez and Grant, and is arrested for causing minor injuries to Michael Snyder. Meanwhile, Bionic tries to cure Sonichu of his possession by Ian, and they seek out Sinestro's help. A squirrel named Rocky tells him that nothing is his fault and that his Asperger's excuses everything. CWC bails him out, but Asperchu demands an apology for being left to wait THREE HOURS at the police station. Asperchu is thrown from their tower, landing on Sammy, and the liberators of CWCville go back to searching for survivors from the 4-Cent_Garbage Center. They recover Saramah Chu, who is somehow still alive. Christian Weston Chandler says that the seven Chaos Pickles are &quot;artifacts of supreme power and energy&quot;, and that they have attached themselves to seven &quot;avatars&quot; in order to remain stable in this universe. It is revealed that Asperchu, CWC, Wesli Chu, Saramah Chu and Sonichu are five of the avatars, and two are unknown. Also, Rocky is revealed to the reader to be one of the MIPS. Chris decides to lead a unit to retrieve Sonichu's Pickle. Heaven and Lisa kidnap Asperchu and bring him to Dean Waltz in a bid to retrieve the information that Metal Asperchu gave to the MIPS. Sonichu feels ecstatic after his Pickle is activated. When Chris, Rosechu and Julie come to speak to him, he has them imprisoned; Sonichu seems to have become insane. Meanwhile, Asperchu attacks the Dean with his Asperhameha, and is arrested again. Max and Jivin visit him. Jimmy Hill, King of Molvanîa, is enraged by his daughter Julie's capture, and plans to rescue her.&lt;br&gt;''First appearance of &quot;Rocky&quot;.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of GAMe PLACe kids, Gerald Grant.'' <br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue 8 Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #8<br /> |''Trial by fire!''<br /> | Asperchu unwisely hires Yawning Squirtle to defend him. The jury consists of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu, Chloe Rosechu and the clerk from Issue 0, while Lewis Croagunk prosecutes. Squirtle makes the feeble counter-defense that Snyder was planning to break into Asperchu's house, pour Wite-Out on his playing cards and wipe his hard drive, but has nothing to back this allegation up with. Sonichu appears as witness, and says that Asperchu is innocent. &quot;Rocky&quot; convinces Asperchu to dismiss his lawyer and represent himself. Sonichu and Asperchu begin a pointless argument as to who is &quot;true and honest&quot;, and Sonichu freaks out and flees the courtroom. Jimmy Hill breaks into the courtroom and retrieves his daughter Julie. Asperchu receives life imprisonment. Sonichu appears to have absorbed too much of Ian's personality, and is thrown from Fort Grosse by Argentum.&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of Lewis Croagunk, Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolisa Rosechu, Chloe Rosechu.''&lt;br&gt;''Last appearance of Bullet-Time Montgomery, Blazebob Sonichu.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:Issue F Cover.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue #F<br /> | '' Three guesses what the F stands for...''<br /> | Argentum has sent Chris, Sonichu, Sinestro and Bionic to bizarre worlds. <br /> *Chris sees a perfect Sonichu facing CWC-Botnik, whom he easily kills. Chris realizes that this is not the real Sonichu, as he has no idea who Benny Chu (from ''Asperchu'' #0A) was.<br /> *A now-mobile Bionic finds himself the beloved son of a &quot;Rollin' and Trollin'&quot;-style Ian Brandon Anderson. Chris releases him from the fantasy world.<br /> * Sinestro is met by Naitsirhc, who brings him to Slaweel. Sinestro realizes that all this is false. Mary offers him the sixth and seventh Chaos Pickle, but Sinestro realizes that it's an illusion. He punches a hole in reality and goes to meet CWC. The avatars of the final two Pickles emerge: Megan and Lovely Weather. Argentum goes to seek the other avatars.<br /> *The diseased Sonichu struggles through a strange forest to confront the deceased Mitch Chu, who reminds Sonichu of all the evil he did in Ian's name. Sonichu becomes completed possessed by Ian's essence, becoming... Chris-Chan Sonichu.<br /> <br /> Meanwhile, in the real world, Asperchu finds prison life difficult - he is attacked by a Skullmaster and almost raped by a Poliwrath, but saved by Gumby, who decides to protect him and teach him to be a Christian. Asperchu rewrites the Bible as ''Asperchoso''. Gumby then introduces Asperchu to Jesus Himself, but Asperchu isn't very interested. Asperchu and Gumby escape the other prisoners by jumping into ''Asperchoso''. Once there, Asperchoso shoots Gumby in the shins, and Asperchu escapes the book. Poliwrath becomes a devotee of Asperchoso, and Asperchu erases Gumby from the Book, killing him.<br /> <br /> Chris and Julie arrive to break Asperchu out of prison, in order to protect him and his Chaos Pickle from Argentum.<br /> <br /> Meanwhile, Bionic creates a holographic version of the Ian who loves him.<br /> &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Lovely Weather.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance of CWC-Botnik, Skullmaster, Krang, Blaziken, Poliwrath, Jesus, Asperchoso, various prisoners.''&lt;br&gt;''Only appearance and death of Gumby, Warden Clawdorf.''<br /> |- <br /> | [[File:A10.jpg|150px]]<br /> |bgcolor=&quot;yellow&quot; height=&quot;10px&quot;| <br /> |Issue Ten<br /> |''It's time.''<br /> | Issue Ten has begun with Asperchu describing &quot;LITTLE BIG AUTISM&quot;, in which he talks of [[Asperger's syndrome]] in ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''. He awakes on Julie's airship and the coalition aims to defeat Argentum.<br /> &lt;br&gt;''First appearance of Groovan.''<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == References ==<br /> &lt;references /&gt;<br /> ==External links==<br /> *[http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ ''Asperchu'' site]<br /> *[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia](Site down)<br /> <br /> [[Category:Fan]]<br /> [[Category:Fan art]]</div>

European Qoheleth https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=User:European_Qoheleth&diff=219322 2018-04-22T03:30:20Z

<p>European Qoheleth: Created page with &quot;Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the Asperger syndrome article. ==Quotes== *&quot;He's a...&quot;</p> <hr /> <div>Alas fellow aspies it's not only (a number of) the neurotypicals who have it in for us but also Chris-chan himself; see the [[Asperger syndrome]] article.<br /> <br /> ==Quotes==<br /> *&quot;He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like &quot;ass burgers&quot;:<br /> <br /> <br /> “ <br /> I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.<br /> „<br /> <br /> —Chris, in an e-mail to Jackie.<br /> <br /> Chris has yet to realise that the burgers he usually shoves down his throat are often made of minced rump steak, or 'ass burgers', if you will. &quot;<br /> <br /> - The Asperger syndrome article<br /> <br /> * &quot;His racism and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.&quot; (Amen saieth Qoheleth!)<br /> <br /> - https://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person<br /> <br /> * &quot;This article is about a person/organisation who is an enemy of the Autistic community and should be ignored.&quot;<br /> <br /> - The autism wiki's entry on Chris-chan</div>

European Qoheleth