CWCki - User contributions [en]

IPods Down and Listen Up

2010-04-09T00:02:03Z

Evang:

{{honest}}
"'''iPods Down and Listen Up'''" (known as "'''iPods Down and Listen Up.MOV'''") is a video uploaded the 15 December 2009 in which [[Chris]], apparently under the influence of Viagra, [[fail]]s once again at rapping and life.

The rap itself appears to be improvised (though knowing Chris, he could just as easily have come up with such terrible lyrics beforehand and doesn't have enough of a quality filter on any aspect of his life for it to stand out), and Chris apparently alludes to what most people would call [[rape]]. It is unclear as to what precisely Chris is under the [[Alcohol|influence]] of, or how he [[Chris's Big Night Out|obtained it]].

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = iPods Down and Listen Up
| image = {{#ev:youtube|Ao6bUGbCNU8}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 15 December 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt}} Straight White Lines
| previous = [[Congrats, Jack Black]]
| next = [[Hello, Juffalo]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[[File:Jay-Z.jpg|thumb|[[Jay Z]]'s reaction after watching this video.]]
[''Chris makes liberal use of his gangsta-speak in this video'']

Yo, what is up, homies, and homes, and home-misses... dudettes and dudates. his ain't no [[Captain's Log|update]] on da [[Sonichu]] [[duck|thang]]; still workin' on it, but listen [''tries to turn this into a song''] up, up-up, up, up, up-up! Listen up! Put down your iPods, and listen up! I had a test that shows... stock market had a rise in hooooooes! I tell you what now. Tell ya what, tell ya what (what-what, what).

[''a momentary pause to recollect'']

Momentary pause to recollect. I tell ya what, ladies, I have a game. Let's play Jungle Fever (Jungle Fever)! I'm the la—I am the manly '''tiga''' (manly tiga)! You're the sleek, sexy panther! [[Rape|I pounce on you, you run away]]. I haven't missed that chase, anyway! And we chase for a while (a, a while), and then you wear out, and you take it like a gal (gal), and then we pump [[Chris and Sex|(pump-pump, pump, pump, pump-pump)]] until we'll be have our little [[Crystal Weston Chandler|tiga-panther cubs]]!

Or for—since it's Christmas time, let's make like I'm Mister—yo' Mrs. Claus. I have a... good ole heat, 'cuz I took... a bit o'... [[Wikipedia:Viagra|Viagra]]. Bam, ba-bam, bam, ho, [[Pokémon|ho-OH]]!

...Word! I have a confidence booster... and my confidence is at the max! So... there. That's the word of the day. Still an update on the [[CWCipedia]], eyyyy?

Word up. Peace out.
{{clear}}
==Remixed==

<center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Momentary Pause to Recollect (Bam Ba Bam Bam) by Chris-chan Ft. Bill Hicks
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wN3EWjebiMo}}
| Stardate = 15 December 2009
| Maker = TwoCows23
| Subject = Chris
| Video Type = Remix
}}</center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAo6bUGbCNU8&start1=&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DNcJytCvBrWk&start2=8 Gangsta Chris]
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fv%2FAo6bUGbCNU8&start1=0&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fv%2F9iNlAT9BLzo&start2=9 Another mashup]
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fv%2FAo6bUGbCNU8&start1=0&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-iKtiveApUo&start2= And another one]
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http://www.youtube.com/v/Ao6bUGbCNU8&start1=0&video2=http://www.youtube.com/v/-QRbQfwae9E&start2=0 And another]
*[http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fv%2FAo6bUGbCNU8&start1=0&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DSXDpShy8LiM&start2= 187 on a Jerkop]
*[http://tubedubber.com/#Ao6bUGbCNU8:yiwqKV2rLzo:100:85:0:0:true CWC Vs. RZA]
*[http://tubedubber.com/#Ao6bUGbCNU8:eRCJow2tKso:100:50:0:0:true Still C.W.C]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Congrats, Jack Black]]|nextlink=[[Hello, Juffalo]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User talk:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T04:50:23Z

Evang:

{{welcome|Champthom}}--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:32, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck the welcome template, Chris doesn't even deserve one. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:47, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
*Don't fucking remove things from other people's user page. Chris is a CWCki user and he deserves a god damn welcome. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:28, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

We haven't banned this faggot have we? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

The great Clyde Cash has told us not to ban him. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:52, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck you Chris. Go back to your leeches and your potions! P.S.: How's [[Bob Chandler|your father]] doing? [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]

Chris it is time to come out of your closet you homo. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 02:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Glad we haven't banned him yet. BTW could we add some templates from ED to "improve" his page? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Herro hero! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:27, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to the CWCki, fucknugget!-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 02:58, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hi Chris. Nice job with your threat of vandalizing three pages before playing your PS3. Good job. No one ban him. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris, how's it hanging? never mind, you'll never read this, too busy playing the PStriple, you know if you just sold that thing you'd be able to update the comic more. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 01:10, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

[[Fan:Issue 10.5|Issue 10.5]] coming soon to the CWCki! :D --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

'Ey Chris, I have a game I would recommend to you. Dante's Inferno. Play through the whole thing and pay VERY Close attention to the plot. -CWCville Sanitation

God does not look well on those who worship false gods like Thor. Your going to hell sodomite. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Enjoy your stay Chris. It isn't going to be long now that you've proven to be an even bigger bigot than we thought you were. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:51, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

hey Chris, huge fan here. Just a heads-up: some people and I are writing a biography about you. --[[User:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]] 02:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris, give us your Pokemon friend code so we can all beat you at your favorite game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:08, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, you autistic waste of space! It's me, one of the guys who vandalized your wiki. Did you see the page I created with the giant, hard-to-ignore piece of gay Pokeporn? That was great. And now you've come and made your half-assed vandalism. Seriously, we all know you spend the American public's money on things to play and shove up your ass. And to top it off, you confirm that you are quite proud of your Rule 34. Do you actually think that anybody besides you and a monkey with Down's Syndrome considers that to be sexy? Also, [[Reginald Sneasel]] is GAYYYYYYY!!! DO NOT MISLABEL HIM AS STRAIGHT!!! Finally, please stop wasting all of your time with your [[PS3]] and update your fucking comic as soon as your (by your, I mean the Sysop's) site is fixed. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 02:25, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Eya there Chrissyboo, I had the opportunity to kick your fat ass last week. I was literally 30 minutes away from the Charlottesville area with my buddies. You're damn lucky I didn't, but then again, you would've had a legitimate thing to sue me over. Even if I did end up being sued by Chris-chan, I would still fail less than you do, Chris. That's how much you fail. If I ever drive to DC again, be prepared. Word of advice: Use your monthly tugboat to invest in an actual gym membership. Hell, my girlfriend alone can do over 60 push-ups easily (Not being sexist or anything), which is DOUBLE your failed goal last year. Be afraid, Chris, be VERY afraid. --[[User:Therealgodbear|Therealgodbear]] 02:54, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris. How's it going? I gotta say man, I'm a little disappointed in your vandalism attempts. I mean, how hard is blanking pages, really?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hey Chris, hows it going. I too violated your CWCipedia. The part about your mothers phone number, pedophillia, and sucking nigger cocks were particularly lulzy. Anyways, just wanted to say I hate you, you suck at life, and go suck those nigger cocks you love so much, and rape those children. Anyways, love your fail attempts at editing the CWCki. Keep trying you worthless faggot, just wasting more of your time.
Hi Chris. Nice job with your threat of vandalizing three pages before playing your PS3. Good job. No one ban him. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris, how's it hanging? never mind, you'll never read this, too busy playing the PStriple, you know if you just sold that thing you'd be able to update the comic more. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 01:10, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

[[Fan:Issue 10.5|Issue 10.5]] coming soon to the CWCki! :D --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

'Ey Chris, I have a game I would recommend to you. Dante's Inferno. Play through the whole thing and pay VERY Close attention to the plot. -CWCville Sanitation

God does not look well on those who worship false gods like Thor. Your going to hell sodomite. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Enjoy your stay Chris. It isn't going to be long now that you've proven to be an even bigger bigot than we thought you were. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:51, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

hey Chris, huge fan here. Just a heads-up: some people and I are writing a biography about you. --[[User:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]] 02:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris, give us your Pokemon friend code so we can all beat you at your favorite game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:08, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, you autistic waste of space! It's me, one of the guys who vandalized your wiki. Did you see the page I created with the giant, hard-to-ignore piece of gay Pokeporn? That was great. And now you've come and made your half-assed vandalism. Seriously, we all know you spend the American public's money on things to play and shove up your ass. And to top it off, you confirm that you are quite proud of your Rule 34. Do you actually think that anybody besides you and a monkey with Down's Syndrome considers that to be sexy? Also, [[Reginald Sneasel]] is GAYYYYYYY!!! DO NOT MISLABEL HIM AS STRAIGHT!!! Finally, please stop wasting all of your time with your [[PS3]] and update your fucking comic as soon as your (by your, I mean the Sysop's) site is fixed. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 02:25, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Eya there Chrissyboo, I had the opportunity to kick your fat ass last week. I was literally 30 minutes away from the Charlottesville area with my buddies. You're damn lucky I didn't, but then again, you would've had a legitimate thing to sue me over. Even if I did end up being sued by Chris-chan, I would still fail less than you do, Chris. That's how much you fail. If I ever drive to DC again, be prepared. Word of advice: Use your monthly tugboat to invest in an actual gym membership. Hell, my girlfriend alone can do over 60 push-ups easily (Not being sexist or anything), which is DOUBLE your failed goal last year. Be afraid, Chris, be VERY afraid. --[[User:Therealgodbear|Therealgodbear]] 02:54, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris. How's it going? I gotta say man, I'm a little disappointed in your vandalism attempts. I mean, how hard is blanking pages, really?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hey Chris, hows it going. I too violated your CWCipedia. The part about your mothers phone number, pedophillia, and sucking nigger cocks were particularly lulzy. Anyways, just wanted to say I hate you, you suck at life, and go suck those nigger cocks you love so much, and rape those children. Anyways, love your fail attempts at editing the CWCki. Keep trying you worthless faggot, just wasting more of your time.

Peace, and have a good day retard!--[[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]
Peace, and have a good day retard!--[[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

You put more effort into making a threat than you do delivering on it. It's like you don't care that we mock you! Can you do anything right? You can't hold a job, you scare away every girl you see, you can't put effort into anything - Your life has no meaning to find!--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:35, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

What stunning and magnificent revenge, Chris. This was a clearly well thought out and well implemented movement, we never knew what hit us.--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 03:41, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chrissy. I'm a huge [[troll|fan]]. How's your [[The Wallflower|girlfriend]] doing? Welcome to the CWCki and please continue to enjoy your [[virgin with rage|virginity]]!!!
--[[User:Ano de freshman|Ano de freshman]] 03:42, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

You beefed it.--[[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 04:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, Chris. Remember me? I went by the name of Thermidor went I vandalized your CWCipedia. Out of all the years of my life and of all the wicked and twisted people that I've encountered, none of them could ever match up to you. You are so disgusting, so vile, and so irredeemably evil, that you make Old King look like Mahatma Gandhi. Are these video game references flying over your tiny, closed-minded brain? They probably do, because judging by your PSN activity, you don't play any games that take actual effort in order to beat. I've seen your gameplay footage, and I can see that your skills are utterly pathetic. You can't even coordinate your jumps in Little Big Planet! I know of elementary school kids who have better gaming skills than you! Your life has no value, and this world would be far better off without you. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:42, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris can we be friends [[User:Evang|Evang]] 04:50, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Template:DYK

2010-03-06T23:59:18Z

Evang:

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|10=
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that [[BILLY MAYS]] was the mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wants you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
|11=
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], [[Chris]] did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
*...that [[PandaHalo]] leaked the entire [[Scrapbook of Fail]]?
*...that [[Chris]] drinks his own [[semen]]?
|12=
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], [[Chris]] admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris made his own [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]] in high school?
*...that Chris has recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that [[Chris|Chris's]] sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] might be <del>dead</del> alive but his [[The Miscreants|spirit]] <del>lives on</del> is dead?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lovers dream come true.)
|13=
*...that Chris wants to [[SingStar Challenge|smell yo duck]]?
*...that it is wise to use a PokéFlute when encountering the [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]]?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|said]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his fat contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris.27s_antics|Level Up King]]?
|14=
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is ok]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that [[Chris]] can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had a sweet green afro?
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that Chris prefers [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] prefers Burger King?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
|20=
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
:*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]''?
*...that [[Ryan Cash]] is an hero?
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best weed in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for Christmas [[2004]], Chris asked santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
:*...that on Chrismas Day 2004, Chris became depressed, because [[fail|he didn't get one]]?
|21=
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|charged in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that [[Wild Sonichu]] is a noted Sit 'n Spin player?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that Chris is stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
|22=
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] was the Thomas Edison of the 1950s and 60s?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] in a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris expects his fans to know what happens in his dreams?
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
|23=
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of God’s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], gender, socio-economic situation, or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was just a figurehead and [[The Miscreants]] is just a website where stuff gets posted?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
|24=
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes Iseli Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5]] is based off a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_core children's game]?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...and that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...and he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that each American taxpayer pays roughly 9.02597917x10-6 [[monthly tugboat|dollars]] each month to Chris?
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
}}

Evan

2010-03-03T20:28:55Z

Evang: Undo revision 73139 by Evang (Talk) oops

[[Image:Detailsonichurule34.png|thumb|90px|right|One of Evan's first Sonichu art.]]

Rewind to [[2007]]: [[Sonichu]] was found on the Cartoons image board at [[4chan]]. It soon made its way over to Video Games. On November 3rd, a "fan art" (read: dickgirls) thread for Sonichu was made at /v/ and someone suggested that someone there should do the honors of sending him the e-mails. Thinking it to be a good idea at the time, [[Evan]] collected the best images from the thread and a pornographic MS Paint comic he himself drew (pornographic MS Paint comics being his <s>disgusting</s> hilarious specialty to this very day) and sent it to [[Chris]]'s AOL e-mail account.

The [[Masturbating and squirtin'|reply]] he got shocked a nation.

The line "masturbating and squirtin'" was the first sign of Chris's more perverse side, and most hilarious of all was the angry drawing of Chris and Sonichu made just for his response, with the words "We're Keeping Track." The [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page was initially made solely to house the responses Evan had been getting and the fan art he had been sending. Eventually Chris threatened to create Evan in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' and beat him up much like he had [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and Evan sent him a drawing of himself just so he could create such a video. However, he never replied and largely forgot these e-mails even happened.

==After the e-mails==

Afterwards he remained in on the Sonichu scene for some time. After initially drawing up fan art in MS Paint of the Ghostbusters car from the preview of [[Sonichu 8]], the image was actually used in the comic when it was officially released. Evan was oddly credited by his Encyclopedia Dramatica account name, implying that Chris got the image from ED. However, if he had any sense, he would've realized the same account was used to post those HATEFUL and SLANDEROUS e-mails that ruined his life.

[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|150px|right|The awful fancharacter that eventually became [[Simonla|worse]]]]

Ironically, in spite of directly confessing multiple times that he was responsible for the Encyclopedia Dramatica articles due to the e-mails he had sent, Chris still blames [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to this day.

Eventually he thought it'd be funny to try and get a fan character into Sonichu, creating "Simonchu" due to his at-the-time addiction to ''Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann''. This totally backfired on him as Chris turned it into [[mass debating|mass debate]] material, making Simonchu into the character [[Simonla]].

==Effort to remove Simonla from ''Sonichu''==

For some time, Evan attempted to get Simonla Rosechu removed from the comics, stating anger at Simonla being given a china (which is sort of ironic considering that he gave Rosechu a pickle, but Chris isn't clever enough for that). Christian decided he would include Simonchu in [[Sonichu 9|Episode 20]] after reading these e-mails, which would have lead to TWO shitty recolors running around instead of one less as intended--if Chris had actually included Simonchu.

[[Image:GDChandler.png|thumb|left|A recent image from the Simonchu comics.]]

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris had mentioned to a fan that Evan allowed him to edit Simochu in Simonla. Soon after, Evan sent an [[Mailbag 22|e-mail]] to Chris on the CWCipedia, calling BS on comment, only to be ignored. Evan sent a [[Mailbag 26|second e-mail]], demanding that, as his character, Simonla be killed off on-screen. Evan got a response, blankly informing him that Simonla was essentially HIS character now, since he decided she would date Wild.

Evan persisted in his actions to remove Simonla from the comic, his e-mails to the mailbag either being answered bluntly or being entirely ignored. Chris insisted on what he called "The Brother/Sister Plan", stating he would install Simonchu into the comics as Simonla's brother. However, Evan protested this, not wanting TWO bastardizations of his character running around. The situation culminated in an [[Mailbag 43#...Well,_this_is_disturbing!|email originally sent to enlighten Chris on the use of IP addresses]]. As a sidenote, Evan asked Chris to remove Simonla once more; Chris promptly retorted with a long-winded and completely bizarre statement:

{{quote|YOUR Simonchu came to Cwcville while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True Wild Sonichu was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the c***-shack known as "Ecgville"...

...Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life. I am the Great Director Chandler!|Chris, [[Chris and reality|completely losing his grip on reality.]]}}

Ironically, earlier that day Chris uploaded an image to CWCipedia encouraging support for aid to the 2010 Haiti earthquake disaster, depicting Simonchu and Simonla working together to build a table. The construction of this table was so monumental that the two placed a plaque in front of it stating [[Chris and reality|"Rebuilt by the Brother/Sister Team of Simonla and Simonchu"]].

Unwilling to let him continue to use Simonchu as well as his "sister", Evan sent [[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly|Chris another email]], warning him that it would be his last chance to remove both characters from the Haiti image and the comics. Chris states that, despite all her relatively obvious similarities to Simonchu, that Simonla is a "SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER", and that Evan should stop [[stress|stressing out]] about it. Chris also claims that, although the character is based on Simonchu, the fact that he ''could'' have come up with her on his own basically amounts to her being an original character. Later, Chris would attempt to call a "retraction" and erase all evidence of Simonla ever being inspired by Simonchu, hoping that this would provide an easy escape to the problem. Of course, it didn't.

On [[I am Alive|6 Feburary 2010]], Chris reveals that he was finally doing away with Simonla and removing her entry from the CWCipedia. However, this didn't please Evan, especially when Chris said he'd do it "later". In response, his lawyers had the CWCipedia slapped with a cease and desist notice to fully remove the character, forcing the Sysop to close the CWCipedia to edits. This resulted in Evan [[9 February 2010|destroying the undestroyable]].

On the 14th of February 2010, Evan released 2 pages from ''Sonichu 11'', which he had recieved from Chris. The first page is essentially a written form of his apology videos to Alec and Evan, whilst the second page involves Simonla finally being killed, by way of an exploding toilet. Whilst this conforms to Alec's wishes, Chris as usual refuses to admit total defeat, and implies Wild is out for "revenge".

==Now==

Evan has been working on ''Simonchu'', a comic series describing the adventures of Simonchu as Evan intended. It is hosted on the [[Asperpedia]], due to Evan entrusting the rights of Simonchu to Alec Benson Leary. Whether Chris' mysterious G.D.C. powers have taken their effect on Evan's free will remains to be seen.

After Chris finally killed off Simonla, Evan put the Simonchu comic on hold. Evan's stance on the possibility of more Simonchu comics is so far ambiguous. While he stills wants to end the story at some point in the future, he have retraced from the trolling scene for the time being.

==Evan in the Comics==
[[File:Evan responds to his death.png|thumb|Evan calls Chris out on death by genital mutilation.]]
Evan made his first and last appearance in [[Sonichu 10]]. Attempting to drop something on Simonla to kill her, he's stopped by [[Magi-Chan]] before he can. However, Alec ends up doing so, planting Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the toilet and killing Simonla. Evan is put in prison along with Alec, Sean and Mao (Sean and Mao having done nothing to them) and put on a show trial that easily gets them sentenced to death. Evan is killed by Wild and his new child, [[Sandy Rosechu]].

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Evan1203 Evan's ED account]
*[http://evang-y.deviantart.com/ Evan's DeviantArt account]
*[http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/ Evan's alternative DA account and the home of the comic about the adventures of the TRUE and ORIGINAL Simonchu. (On hold)]
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7631380&x=sonichu 4chanarchive link of the Sonichu fanart thread]. Later down the thread posters begin conspiring to send the posted images to him, and a shot of the fateful e-mail that started this enormous mess can be seen.
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7656940&x=sonichu+response The thread made to unveil Chris's response.] This would be the first contact between Chris and his SLANDEROUS troll enemies. Evan was banned from /v/ for a week because of this thread, for "conspiring invasion". If they only knew.

{{trolls}}
{{people}}
[[Category:People]][[Category:Trolls]]

Evan

2010-03-03T20:28:30Z

Evang:

[[Image:Detailsonichurule34.png|thumb|90px|right|One of Evan's first Sonichu art.]]

Rewind to [[2007]]: [[Sonichu]] was found on the Cartoons image board at [[4chan]]. It soon made its way over to Video Games. On November 3rd, a "fan art" (read: dickgirls) thread for Sonichu was made at /v/ and someone suggested that someone there should do the honors of sending him the e-mails. Thinking it to be a good idea at the time, [[Evan]] collected the best images from the thread and a pornographic MS Paint comic he himself drew (pornographic MS Paint comics being his <s>disgusting</s> hilarious specialty to this very day) and sent it to [[Chris]]'s AOL e-mail account.

The [[Masturbating and squirtin'|reply]] he got shocked a nation.

The line "masturbating and squirtin'" was the first sign of Chris's more perverse side, and most hilarious of all was the angry drawing of Chris and Sonichu made just for his response, with the words "We're Keeping Track." The [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page was initially made solely to house the responses Evan had been getting and the fan art he had been sending. Eventually Chris threatened to create Evan in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' and beat him up much like he had [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and Evan sent him a drawing of himself just so he could create such a video. However, he never replied and largely forgot these e-mails even happened.

==After the e-mails==

Afterwards he remained in on the Sonichu scene for some time. After initially drawing up fan art in MS Paint of the Ghostbusters car from the preview of [[Sonichu 8]], the image was actually used in the comic when it was officially released. Evan was oddly credited by his Encyclopedia Dramatica account name, implying that Chris got the image from ED. However, if he had any sense, he would've realized the same account was used to post those HATEFUL and SLANDEROUS e-mails that ruined his life.

[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|150px|right|The awful fancharacter that eventually became [[Simonla|worse]]]]

Ironically, in spite of directly confessing multiple times that he was responsible for the Encyclopedia Dramatica articles due to the e-mails he had sent, Chris still blames [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to this day.

Eventually he thought it'd be funny to try and get a fan character into Sonichu, creating "Simonchu" due to his at-the-time addiction to ''Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann''. This totally backfired on him as Chris turned it into [[mass debating|mass debate]] material, making Simonchu into the character [[Simonla]].

==Effort to remove Simonla from ''Sonichu''==

For some time, Evan attempted to get Simonla Rosechu removed from the comics, stating anger at Simonla being given a china (which is sort of ironic considering that he gave Rosechu a pickle, but Chris isn't clever enough for that). Christian decided he would include Simonchu in [[Sonichu 9|Episode 20]] after reading these e-mails, which would have lead to TWO shitty recolors running around instead of one less as intended--if Chris had actually included Simonchu.

[[Image:GDChandler.png|thumb|left|A recent image from the Simonchu comics.]]

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris had mentioned to a fan that Evan allowed him to edit Simochu in Simonla. Soon after, Evan sent an [[Mailbag 22|e-mail]] to Chris on the CWCipedia, calling BS on comment, only to be ignored. Evan sent a [[Mailbag 26|second e-mail]], demanding that, as his character, Simonla be killed off on-screen. Evan got a response, blankly informing him that Simonla was essentially HIS character now, since he decided she would date Wild.

Evan persisted in his actions to remove Simonla from the comic, his e-mails to the mailbag either being answered bluntly or being entirely ignored. Chris insisted on what he called "The Brother/Sister Plan", stating he would install Simonchu into the comics as Simonla's brother. However, Evan protested this, not wanting TWO bastardizations of his character running around. The situation culminated in an [[Mailbag 43#...Well,_this_is_disturbing!|email originally sent to enlighten Chris on the use of IP addresses]]. As a sidenote, Evan asked Chris to remove Simonla once more; Chris promptly retorted with a long-winded and completely bizarre statement:

{{quote|YOUR Simonchu came to Cwcville while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True Wild Sonichu was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the c***-shack known as "Ecgville"...

...Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life. I am the Great Director Chandler!|Chris, [[Chris and reality|completely losing his grip on reality.]]}}

Ironically, earlier that day Chris uploaded an image to CWCipedia encouraging support for aid to the 2010 Haiti earthquake disaster, depicting Simonchu and Simonla working together to build a table. The construction of this table was so monumental that the two placed a plaque in front of it stating [[Chris and reality|"Rebuilt by the Brother/Sister Team of Simonla and Simonchu"]].

Unwilling to let him continue to use Simonchu as well as his "sister", Evan sent [[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly|Chris another email]], warning him that it would be his last chance to remove both characters from the Haiti image and the comics. Chris states that, despite all her relatively obvious similarities to Simonchu, that Simonla is a "SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER", and that Evan should stop [[stress|stressing out]] about it. Chris also claims that, although the character is based on Simonchu, the fact that he ''could'' have come up with her on his own basically amounts to her being an original character. Later, Chris would attempt to call a "retraction" and erase all evidence of Simonla ever being inspired by Simonchu, hoping that this would provide an easy escape to the problem. Of course, it didn't.

On [[I am Alive|6 Feburary 2010]], Chris reveals that he was finally doing away with Simonla and removing her entry from the CWCipedia. However, this didn't please Evan, especially when Chris said he'd do it "later". In response, his lawyers had the CWCipedia slapped with a cease and desist notice to fully remove the character, forcing the Sysop to close the CWCipedia to edits. This resulted in Evan [[9 February 2010|destroying the undestroyable]].

On the 14th of February 2010, Evan released 2 pages from ''Sonichu 11'', which he had recieved from Chris. The first page is essentially a written form of his apology videos to Alec and Evan, whilst the second page involves Simonla finally being killed, by way of an exploding toilet. Whilst this conforms to Alec's wishes, Chris as usual refuses to admit total defeat, and implies Wild is out for "revenge".

==Now==
[Image:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|thumb|CHRIS DRILLED OUT HIS DICK.]

Evan has been working on ''Simonchu'', a comic series describing the adventures of Simonchu as Evan intended. It is hosted on the [[Asperpedia]], due to Evan entrusting the rights of Simonchu to Alec Benson Leary. Whether Chris' mysterious G.D.C. powers have taken their effect on Evan's free will remains to be seen.

After Chris finally killed off Simonla, Evan put the Simonchu comic on hold. Evan's stance on the possibility of more Simonchu comics is so far ambiguous. While he stills wants to end the story at some point in the future, he have retraced from the trolling scene for the time being.

==Evan in the Comics==
[[File:Evan responds to his death.png|thumb|Evan calls Chris out on death by genital mutilation.]]
Evan made his first and last appearance in [[Sonichu 10]]. Attempting to drop something on Simonla to kill her, he's stopped by [[Magi-Chan]] before he can. However, Alec ends up doing so, planting Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the toilet and killing Simonla. Evan is put in prison along with Alec, Sean and Mao (Sean and Mao having done nothing to them) and put on a show trial that easily gets them sentenced to death. Evan is killed by Wild and his new child, [[Sandy Rosechu]].

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Evan1203 Evan's ED account]
*[http://evang-y.deviantart.com/ Evan's DeviantArt account]
*[http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/ Evan's alternative DA account and the home of the comic about the adventures of the TRUE and ORIGINAL Simonchu. (On hold)]
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7631380&x=sonichu 4chanarchive link of the Sonichu fanart thread]. Later down the thread posters begin conspiring to send the posted images to him, and a shot of the fateful e-mail that started this enormous mess can be seen.
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7656940&x=sonichu+response The thread made to unveil Chris's response.] This would be the first contact between Chris and his SLANDEROUS troll enemies. Evan was banned from /v/ for a week because of this thread, for "conspiring invasion". If they only knew.

{{trolls}}
{{people}}
[[Category:People]][[Category:Trolls]]

Template:Trolls

2010-03-03T02:16:01Z

Evang: needed a colon

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#33aa33" align="center" width="95%"
| '''[[Trolls]] of the Patriots'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
'''[[The Miscreants]]'''

'''Villains:'''
[[Jason Kendrick Howell]] |
[[Man in the Pickle Suit]] |
[[Clyde Cash]] |
[[Jack Thaddeus]]

'''The Asperpedia Four:'''
[[Alec Benson Leary]] |
[[Evan]] |
[[Fan:Moon-Pals|Sean August Watley]] |
[[Asperpedia|Mao]]

'''Acquaintances:'''
[[Sarah Jackson]] |
[[Robert Simmons V]] |
[[Sarah May]] |
[[Emily]]

'''Famous People:'''
[[Jimmy Hill]] |
[[Takashi Tezuka]] |
[[Jay Z]] |
[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] |
[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]

'''[[Game Place]]:'''
[[Lucas]] |
[[Mimms]]

'''[[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]:'''
[[Emily]] |
[[PodMonkey]]
|}

<noinclude>[[Category: Templates]]</noinclude>

Sandy Rosechu

2010-03-01T00:50:05Z

Evang: /* Outside the comics */

[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|right|thumb|D'aww! She's just so cute before violently ripping [[Evan]] to shreds with her bare hands!]]
{{Squote|1=Yay! This soft sand is fun! [[Pedofork|Thank you, daddy!]]|2=Sandy|3=[[Sonichu 10]]|size=300%|Color=black}}
'''Sandy Rosechu''' is the daughter of Simonla Rosechu, with many of the same design elements, making her [[Simonla Rosechu#Development|yet another kludge of a certain Chu]]. For whatever reason, she is able to harbor a desire for revenge and ninja-skills at a very young age, but she still has no discernible personality traits from the other [[Rosechu (species)|Mary Sues]] (assuming that they have any).

It should be noted that Wild and Simonla were, as far as we know, never married, so Sandy is a bastard child.

==Sonichu 10==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
Chris finally caved to [[Evan#Effort_to_remove_Simonla_from_Sonichu|pressure from Evan]], and agreed to kill off Simonla. He fleshed out the original [[:File:SchuComic11P81.jpg|death page]] to reveal that [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] and Simonla had managed to shit out an egg together. Moments later, Simonla is fatally wounded in a toilet explosion, and Wild sits on the egg ruminating about how much he and Simonla were looking forward to being parents, in an attempt to make readers care about [[Sonee & Rosey|the little blessing]]. Shortly after Simonla dies, the abomination hatches and asks where Mommy is. Ever sensitive and tactful, [[Magi-Chan]] promptly tells her that "Evan killed Mommy".

Sandy evolves into a Rosechu in less than a week, and has the intelligence of a fourth-grader by the time Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean go to trial for killing Simonla. Naturally, all four are found guilty and are sentenced to be murdered in the most violent and bloody ways imaginable. Wild, responsible father that he is, encourages Sandy to brutally eviscerate Evan. Sandy does so, going as far as to mutilate Evan's genitals, right after displaying serial killer tendencies by taking Evan's glasses as a trophy. The duo round off this wholesome daddy/daughter bonding activity by delivering the killer blow together.

===Prime Taradox?===
[[Image:Lisa.jpg|right|thumb|A super intelligent girl with spiked hair?]]
[[Magi-chan]] clearly states that Evan and his murderous kin will be tried [[Chris and the law|and executed]] with the week. This accompanies a drawing of Sandy's obligatory [[rosey]] form, stating her age, bizarrely, as >1 years old. Plausible, if not logical. Then, Chris later depicts the evolved Sandy, at and age of <1 years old. Rationally, the executions would've been held months ago. Yet somehow, this evolved form is able to participate in the of the slaughter [[Asperpedia]] crew, leading to a few possibilities:

*The executions were postponed until Sandy was old enough to [[Chris and death|kill.]]
*There were several appeals made by Sean, probably regarding [[Tobacky|pot stickers]].
*Chris is retarded.

==Outside the comics==
{{quote|Sandy is pretty awesome, and not Simonla.|Evan's response to Sandy, on his DeviantART account}}
{{quote|She kind of looks exactly like Simonla, but with like Lisa Simpson hair.| Alec's response to Sandy, [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_9|9th Phonecall with Chris]]}}
Sandy is basically a giant "Fuck you" to Evan, since she's little more than a smaller version of Simonla with a few cosmetic changes and an epic THIRST! FOR! BLOOD! Chris even goes into detail that Sandy is basically filling every single role Simonla did, becoming a construction worker, hanging out with [[Zapina]] and basically every single thing Simonla has ever been seen doing (which, fortunately, was very little).

Only time will tell if Sandy's existence leads to [[Cwcipedia#CWCipedia_Closed_.28Again.29_Due_To_Theft|another lawsuit]]. Which is obviously going to happen, 110%.

==Future==
It remains to be seen if Sandy will be a recurring or regular character, or if she will never be heard from again, but if she becomes a recurrent character, Chris will find a way to pair her up with a Sonee or a [[pedofork|Sonichu]].

{{Sonichu}}

{{stub}}
[[Category:Characters]]

Sandy Rosechu

2010-02-26T00:05:30Z

Evang: /* Outside the comics */

Sandy Rosechu

2010-02-26T00:03:25Z

Evang:

Simonla Rosechu

2010-02-14T22:14:42Z

Evang:

{{Ongoing}}

'''Simonla Rosechu''' (aka '''Simonla''', pronounced like ''Simolna'') <s>is</s> ''was'' an orange [[Rosechu (species)|rosechu]] who <s>can</s> ''could'' turn her arms into drills and dig underground. She also <s>has</s> ''had'' a drill at the end of her tail.

Originally a [[troll|fan]] character submitted by [[Evan]] named '''Simonchu''', [[Chris]] instead added breasts and a [[china]] and turned it into Simonla so he'd have something to [[mass debating|masturbate]] to.

==Background==
Evan told Chris he got his drills from being raised by Beedrill, though any bona fide weeaboo knows the drills and the name come from Simon the Driller, from ''[[Wikipedia:Gurren Lagann|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]''. Interestingly, in his [[Apologies to Alec and Evan]] video, Chris pronounces Simonchu as ''Sigh-Mon-Chu'' and not ''See-moan-chu'', meaning that:

*Chris has never seen Gurren Lagann before, much to the relief of many fans and
*Simonla's pronunciation would be ''Sigh-mon-lah''.

Her actual character biography is basically non-existent. While the members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] all have their own retarded little backstories to explain where they came from and what they're doing together, Simonla just shows up one day, ready to strip naked and present backdrops. Where she's been and why she never helped with all the crazy shit that happens in [[CWCville]] is never addressed. At all.

[[Evan]] eventually clears it up in his Simonchu comic: Simonla is a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|female clone]] of Simonchu, sent back in time to befriend the other Electric Hedgehogs so that Chris can prove [[Wild]] is STRAIGHT to the trolls in order to cover up [[Asperchu|Alec's SLANDEROUS portrayals]]. This explains, somewhat, Chris's constant references to Simonla and Simonchu being siblings, though it may be more accurate to consider Simonla a daughter to Simonchu. [[lie|Chris is sure to integrate this creative and interesting plot twist into his own comic immediately]], [[Mitch Sonichu|just as he expects other people to change their comics to match his ideas]].

==Simonla the [[Pedofork]]==
In the Dating Education episode, we see Simonla outside Cwcville U talking to [[Zapina]], the 14-year-old girl who wants to strip despite those "dumb child protection Laws" Chris and the Sonichu gang hate so much. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend," which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16-year-old boy".

One can only wonder why she would do such a thing, when any woman in her right mind would tell her to focus on her studies and hang out with friends her own age before worrying about boys, especially one two years older when she's clearly underage!

==Development==
[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|Before...]]
On 26 August 2008, Evan posted on his [[DeviantArt]] account:<ref>http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351</ref>

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
My Sonichu fancharacter.

Simonchu
Age: 14
Ground/Electric

Simonchu was originally a Pikachu, raised by a swarm of Beedrill. However, when Perfect Chaos attacked Station Square, the Pikachu and Beedrills watched from a nearby forest. In the middle of the battle a flash of pure Chaos energy was released, killing all the Beedrills. The Pikachu, however, was able to absorb the Chaos energy and use it to evolve. Depressed due to his parents' demise, Simonchu took his parents' drills and dug deep underground, leaving no one in CWCville to know of this unique Sonichu and his awesome powers.

until today...

...
[[Image:Simonla.jpg|thumb|...and after. Chris has the reverse Midas touch - everything he touches turns to shit.]]

Now I really must send it to him and hope he includes Simonchu in another issue. He is JUST bad enough to fit into Sonichu. </div>

Three months later, Chris did use the character, as he had wanted to create a ground-type Sonichu or Rosechu character. He could have used Simonchu, as he had Evan's permission to, but, feeling that he had enough Sonichu characters (or, more likely, needing material to [[mass debating|mass debate]] to), he decided to turn Simonchu into Simonla (playing off Simone, the feminine form of Simon), because to Chris, tits = better. Chris-chan also misinterpreted the cloak Simonchu wore as some sort of shell, judging by Simonla's line, "My shell is removable!"

Chris has claimed on Simonla's CWCipedia page that in Episode 20 he will introduce Simonchu as a ground (and only ground) type. [[Lie|He never showed up.]]

===Forced Romance===

{{Quote|plus pairing Simonla with Wild as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract."|Chris, [[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails?|completely failing to explain anything]].}}

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], Simonla attends the [[Dating education|dating classes]] and is eventually paired up with Wild Sonichu. Chris-chan had previously revealed this to Evan in the ancient Sonichu IRC chatroom, but it ended up creating one of the most horrific pages in Sonichu history.

===Evan's Response===

In late [[December 2009]], [[Evan]] [[Mailbag 22#Evan: back with a vengeance|e-mailed Chris]], accusing him of lying about the resolution Chris claimed to have worked out with him. Chris [[Rejected Mailbag#Let Me Get Back To You On That|ignored]] this e-mail.

Four mailbags later, Evan [[Mailbag 26#It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them|once again]] petitioned Chris, this time saying Chris was stealing his character. Evan politely asked Chris to kill Simonla in the comic, yet Chris responded by saying that he could not write out Simonla, as she was [[Wild]]'s girlfriend, and that he shouldn't be a monster for wanting to do so.

Evan [[Mailbag 35|tried again]], tired of it all, where Chris pointedly refused once more. Disillusioned with Chris, Evan allowed [[Asperchu|the creator of ''Asperchu'', Alec Benson Leary]], to feature Simonchu as one of Sonichu's friends. Whilst Simonchu is portrayed as a homosexual in the comic, [[Mailbag 40#Simonchu_swings_both_ways|Evan confirmed in an e-mail to Chris that Simonchu is bisexual]], and that Alec treated the character with far more respect than changing his gender without permission. Chris still persists with his refusal, on the grounds that depriving Wild of his girlfriend would be awful.

Evan would ask Chris to remove Simonla once again in [[Mailbag 43]]. Chris responded with one of his most bizarre and megalomanical statements yet, explaining that Simonla "didn't want" to leave CWCville, and that Evan himself "moves on" under the influence of [[Chris and his ego|Chris's Directorial Powers.]] Chris would later claim that Simonla should be considered an original character, since Chris could have, theoretically, come up with the concept on his own, with the fact that he actually based her on Simonchu's design more or less a coincidence:

{{quote|...IF I start with a Normal Rosechu, give her ground and dirt for skin, add some Drills, Natural Second Transparent Eyelids, an Armadillo Shell with a Drill Spot for a Marking on the front, and Construction Shoes, DOES NOT MEAN AT ALL of YOUR story of "Re-Modifying Simonchu with a Vagina"; THE TWO ARE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS, so do us all a favor and QUIT B****ING AND STRESSING YOURSELF TO YOUR OWN PREMATURE DEATH.|Chris, [[Mailbag 44]].}}

TL;DR Pointless, throwaway relationships = Rights to use a fan character, in Chris's mind.

===Chris denies reality===
[[Image:Fkinglie.png|thumb|Evan's response.]]
After all this back-and-forth in the [[Mailbag]] over what to do with Simonla, on 02 February 2010 Chris added the following note to his profile of the character on the [[CWCipedia]]:

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story.</div>

This fooled absolutely no one. Evan and his fellows responded with a barrage of new advertisements at the top of every CWCipedia page, pointing out Chris's obvious lie.

Using those advertisements as a wedge, the Asperpedia creators hoped to eventually force Chris to do away with Simonla. As chronicled in [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Calls|Alec Benson Leary's phone calls with Chris]], this proved to be an uphill battle. Over the course of late January and into early February 2010, Chris continued to insist that Simonla had to remain a part of his comic.

Chris relented somewhat as the ads on the CWCipedia grew more and more offensive. On [[I am Alive|February 6th 2010]], he posted a video where he conceded defeat of a kind, promising to kill Simonla and remove her entry in the CWCipedia at some time in the indefinite future. This wasn't good enough for Evan, who exerted legal pressure to have the CWCipedia locked to edits.

On 8 February 2010, in his [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_7|final phone conversation with Alec]], Chris claimed that he had given in, drawn the pages of Simonla's death, and had them ready for uploading. However, either he never bothered to follow through on that promise or he simply never go the chance. Early on 9 February 2010, all the CWCipedia's content was deleted from its server space.

==Death==
[[Image:WildCADbortion2.jpg|thumb|How it happened.]]
On 9 February 2010, responding to the deletion of the CWCipedia, Chris admitted that his promise to get rid of Simonla was made under duress:

{{Quote|And I never wanted to kill Simonla! But I was practically back-BLACK mailed by that god damned by that god damned Evan...}}

However, he appears to have followed through on it anyway. On 13 Feburary 2010, Evan publicly released two pages he received from Chris, where Chris makes a rote apology (dwelling for some strange reason on the topic of hamster rape) and Simonla is killed for good. These were never officially included as part of any of Chris's comics, but according to their numbering, they would have been pages 80 and 81 of [[Sonichu 11]]. This, in turn, means that while we now know that Simonla will die in Sonichu 11, Chris has ''plenty'' of time to keep using Simonla in the comics, against Evan's wishes — at Chris's average update pace, Simonla's official death is still a grand number of years away.

In the pages, it is shown that Simonla is killed ''by a toilet bomb in the ladies bathroom'' during a date at the movies with Wild. After being <s>injured worse</s> treated by [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]], who has apparently quit working for Team Rocket in favor of a more conventional medical practice, Simonla passes on. Wild mourns for exactly ONE PANEL before Magi-Chan reveals where her killers are and he takes off on a mission of revenge. Simonla is injured offscreen and dies offscreen, exactly the opposite of what [[Alec]] [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|requested]].

In what may or may not be a coincidence, Simonla succumbs to an "internal injury," the same fate that felled a number of Chris's [[Officer Nasty]] dolls.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:SimonlaThePedofork.jpg|Chris subtly lets slip his pedofork tendencies through Simonla
Image:SchuComic10P20.jpg|this is God punishing Evan for sending him those e-mails.
Image:Simonlaemailqf7.png|The e-mail confirming Simonla's appearance.
Image:SimonlaOriginalDesign.jpg|Chris's original design of Simonla.
Image:Email from chris.png|Chris gives Evan his page(s)...
Image:SchuComic11P80.jpg|and starts with a wall of [[Lies|text]]
Image:SchuComic11P81.jpg|Chris kills off Simonla by having a toilet bomb blow up her [[china]].
Image:WildCADbortion1.jpg
Image:WildCADbortion2.jpg
Image:WildCADbortion3.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

*[[Evan]]
*The TRUE, HONEST and PICKLE-HAVING Advenures of Simonchu and Niachu: [http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]][[Category:Dead]]

Sonichu 10

2010-02-14T21:59:16Z

Evang: /* Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities */

[[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|thumb|Finalized issue cover, from [[July 2009]].]]

'''''Sonichu 10''''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]].

==Background==
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|October 9, 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa October 14, 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "[[time void]]" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu #9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. If he intends to use the material he's already published, he'll be breaking his promise within the first page.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==

{{Ongoing}}
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named [[Lovely Weather]]. Chris then goes on to reveal that he [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], and then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos]]exuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn Reldnahc back into Naitsirhc, whose one true love, [[Kel]] (?!) is worried sick about. He entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the <s>Sonichu Balls</s> Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse for him, restoring his virginity!) Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the usage of his real-life problems today: He calls out to Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS (apparently the couple here) to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and the instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at [[4chan|4-Cent Garbage]]'s HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]] and [[Punchy]] to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild in on the action. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]].

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]

Chris, first, makes a stop a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (it says it was hosted by Tripod, one of the original websites where he hosted his stuff). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound... until the Devil [[Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The troll's flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, [[fail|as best he can]], the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed ''[[Brutal Legend]]'', though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He than proceeds to teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs <s>Chaos</s> Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building (why?!), erects a barrier around the building and blows it up! He, then, claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, then burns down the bridge to Tripod (as he claims), then proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, whose revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, then to set up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed. Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''Guitar Hero'' [[guitar]]. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris putts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl "Jimmy!!" Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two [[sonichus]] fight it out until the two of them hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the [[lies|completely non homoerotic]] phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, Son-Chu, Sonichu, Blake and Wild arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel (who's suddenly alive), [[Clyde Cash]] (who's making his first official appearance in the comics) and [[Jack Thaddeus]] (who's making his first appearance here) warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. <strike>Chris, portraying</strike> Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, <strike>Chris portraying</strike> Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true <s>Americ</s>an heroes as <strike>Chris portrays them</strike> they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too [[alcohol|drunk]] to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. [[fail|Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375.]] A memorial would be put up in the ruins and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they ''probably'' had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.]]

[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on [[Women's rights|Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon]], [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31|being Big Brother]]. Upon returning, Magi-Chan declares that testing on the vaccine is a success and that he brought the crates to the present and are sending them across on trucks. It is said that one Feburary 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be called [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]]. He also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female from [[GodJesus]] and [[Fail|fall in love with Magi-Chan]].

All of a sudden, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a [[fail|fan of the comic series]]. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris, cheating on his future wife AGAIN. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

After taking the time to grovel at his fans for the past comic and begging them not to abandon him, he and Sonichu take the Sonichu Ball Crystal things and transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, Chris decides to go back to CWCVille, but tells Ultra Sonichu to head for RuleCWC with Darkbind Sonichu before heading for [[Asperchu|Minnesota]] and wait for him. Back in CWCVille, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. As Crystal comes to, Allison says that she's called the paramedics to look after her. For some reason Crystal refers to Christian as "Christopher", though it's not clear if this is meant to be some kind of sign between the siblings, or if Chris just forgot about his [[The Bear|name change]].

Meanwhile in RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. In "Da Cave", a stone breaks open and someone, possibly Clawdorf, realizes the Chaotic Crystals freed him... then asks how long he was out. That's right: the act of Chris and Sonichu activating their super forms allows a vaguely defined evil force to escape imprisonment. It's not like Chris and Sonichu ''needed'' to transform, either. The greatest threat to CWCville at the moment is Chris himself as he [[Twin Falling Towers|destroys various buildings]] with the power of [[fail|rock]]. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, who acts like the rest of the vapid rosechus over what Darkbind did for her. This rescue complete, Ultra Sonichu races out, but not before he "coles" the window hatch.

[[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
In Minnesota, Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu hover over the house of Alec Benson Leary, and break in. Discovering Alec's computer (which is revealed to be a [[Hex_bawx|HEX BAWX]] "Pavillion"; note Chris's computer is an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion (computer)|HP Pavillion]]), Chris [[Chris and sex|inserts his finger]] into a USB port, then concentrates and rips off ''Shadow the Hedgehog'' by placing himself inside the computer. Once inside, Chris proceeds to delete all files within the [[Asperpedia]], ban Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, the delete their accounts. He, then, steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator before he escapes, planting another Lightning Bomb to blow up the HEX BAWX. While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. While the art in Asperchu is hardly professional grade, at the very least it shows some understanding of perspective, proportion, and pacing. If anything it looks like a moderately skilled artist who just happens to be drawing very quickly, whereas Sonichu looks like it's drawn by a [[Christian Weston Chandler|retarded child]]. While investigating the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu overhears people talking and, upon leaving, discovers Asperchu and his variation of the Chaotic Combo, whom are tired of his world's mall. Upon seeing him, the Sonichu and Rosechu start going off into a nearly god-like praise for the [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu. The malformed beasts then proceed to tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's and pushed homosexuality on them and that they had real names before Alec gave them the names of the Chaotic Combo. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure them of Asperger's, transforming them into Michael, Bobby, Kitty, Trisha, Whisp and Swift (all of whom will never appear again). Asperchu then turns into a muscle-bound Sonichu known as Mitch. As thanks, Sonichu tells them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free. As he does, Chris blows up the HEX BAWX.

At this point the group literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before Chris]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God; simply a representative of God. Metal Asperchu then shows up and assaults the group. Chris creates a barrier, though he doesn't bother to use his nigh-omnipotence to destroy the enemy or send him to the [[The Moon|Goddamn moon]] and instead forces the non-chaotic Combo to combine their powers of [[fail]] to defeat the creature. With that out of the way, they Thank Chris again for being so awesome, then spot Asperchu creator Alec Benson Leary off-screen, and go to [[death threats|physically assault him]]. Chris has never seen an actual picture of Alec, and so he is never seen. Ultra Sonichu somehow knows that Alec has a group of rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Page 65 is a wall of text so mindbogglingly long and retarded that Chris has to cut his way out from the previous page (or something) to cram a picture. The tl;dr of it is an attempt to once again retcon everything his characters have done in anyone else's comics, reaffirming their sexuality, sweethearts, occupations, and rebuking any characterizations that say otherwise, in an attempt to absolutely distinguish that his Sonichu is unrelated to Asperchu in any way. He finishes by stating that his characters will never go to Minnesota, nor interact with any Mitch/Asperchu unless he says so. He then thanks the readers.

Impatient, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story.

Back in Cwcville, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]] (who has been trying to convince Chris to remove her from the comic via the [[mailbag]] for weeks), who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]], but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously (well, retardedly) hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest the Cwcville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

As is common for Chris, the long-running plot thread about rescuing Crystal from the Dark Mirror Hole is brought up practically as an afterthought, whereas dealling with his current annoyance is given far too much detail.

Finally, Ultra Sonichu and the 4 unnamed Rosechu's supposedly from [[Chris|Alec's]] basement arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated rosechus just stare on despondently. [[Basement Rosechus|The rosechus]], named Brit-tay, Bride, Moe and Mary, decide to live their lives <s>as vapid airheads who do nothing but simper over sonichus</s> the way they should. Ultra Sonichu helps Mary into a wheelchair and flies off. As he leaves, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. The guy tells Sonichu he's been fighting a cold for five years and Sonichu thinks it's because of the nicotine (yes, folks. The man's high and Chris thinks it's because of tobacky!). He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]], where [[Fan: Moon-Pals|certain people will know how to use it better]]. Flying to the highest point of CWCVille, Ultra Sonichu uses Chaotic Control to free every [[Jerkop]] in the city.

Meanwhile, Collosal Chan confronts [[Slaweel Ryam]] in the [[PVCC]]. There, Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune as some means for Chris to justify the running plot thread of Mary and her Jerkops had been somehow trying to stop TRUE and HONEST love and keep VIRGINIA for VIRGINS. [[Count Graduon]] had told her he could help her, but that obviously [[fail]]ed. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to smash it, her boobs apparently inflating to the levels of [[Mary Lee Walsh#Fan art|Troll fan art]] as she does. Chris looks at it like an idiot and does so without a second thought.

===Reaction===

====To the Preview====
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 11

2010-02-14T21:58:40Z

Evang:

[[Image:Issue 11 Cover.jpg|thumb|TEN YEARS WITHOUT A CEASE AND DESIST LETTER FROM NINTENDO AND SEGA!]]
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|Take that, separation of church and state! Also: child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|She's addressing Chris.]]

'''''Sonichu 11''''' is the 12th comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic series]], dated 13 [[August 2009]]. Based on the cover, it will be the 10th anniversary issue, suggesting it will be released sometime in March 2010.

[[Chris]] began writing this issue while issue 10 was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]. Christmas 2009 came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with 8 pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with [[Reldnahc]] and the anti-[[gay]] vaccine from the future.

==A Sonichu Christmas==
In [[December 2009]], in response to requests for a Sonichu Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of Christmas Story, at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's [[Chris and writing|prose]] was adapted into comic form - the short story "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" served as the basis for episodes 1 and 2 in [[Sonichu 0]].

The comic opens to show the Sonichu family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris [[Scrapbook of Fail|reused]] the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic9P34.jpg original 14 Brunchland Lane picture] seen in [[Sonichu 9]] with a half-assed Photoshopping of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of [[Wild Sonichu]] running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cera, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.

Christine notably plagiarizes a joke from ''[[Family Guy]]'', marking the second time Chris has stolen a ''Family Guy'' joke since [[Sonichu 8]], only this time instead of screwing up the context of the joke he manages to make the already off-color gag (that suggested Jesus' mother wasn't a virgin) more offensive, as it is being uttered by a child who intends to say it at her school play, likely leading to loud gasps, boos, and an expulsion. The scene takes focus on Sonichu and Robbie hanging stockings, Robbie proceeds to butcher a quote from a Holiday classic and they than have a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes inducing speech about his kids.

Meanwhile Rosechu and Cera make an abnormally small amount of cookies, so that each child is apparently allotted one cookie in an individual plastic bag. Cera makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a Jewish kid in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie is vanilla flavored, in case the Jewish kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cera do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cera says "I wuv you!" While facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall. Chris really wants more people to love him unconditionally for being special. Robbie and Cera, speaking in complete sentences despite being toddlers, notice that it has snowed, with two feet expected to fall. Sonichu and Rosechu have a long conversation about purchasing groceries for "a few days."

While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites [[Wikipedia:Magnificat|Luke 1:45 - 55]] (which Chris types as Luke 14.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how GodJesus will reward the humble and [[Chris and his Ego|punish the proud and the mighty]]. While this verse is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal. Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries. His trip to the supermarket was uneventful and uninteresting.

The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A [[KCWC]] announcer details CWCville school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "coca" and a warm [[Axe | shower]]. Rosechu subsequently nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of frozen precipitate, Sonichu decides to demonstrate his unholy powers to his children. "Imitating Santa", Sonichu crouches in the chimney, touches his nose, and with a cry of [[Mary Poppins|"Chim Chim Cheroo"]] flies up the flue.

He rises up out of the chimney looking like a [[niggos|ninja]] because of the soot, and then shakes it off. He then bizarrely uses his gift of sonic speed...
 ...to spend five minutes 'shoveling' the driveway while in his sonic mode, because using an actual shovel is too much [[Monthly tugboat|work]]; never mind that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and cause a [[Chris and death|tragic accident]]. Exhausted, he then heads back into the house for [[Chris and health#Hygiene|a shower]] making a sound as if he's [[Mass debating|pleasing himself]] while Rosechu looks on holding a hideous novelty Christmas towel as she blesses him.

==Sonichu 11 Preview==

On 13 Feburary 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that is slated to appear in Sonichu 11. In these pages, it shows Chris (who obviously is NOT pulling himself out of the comic) reveal that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems and he begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags as she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. They find Simonla and she isn't doing well. She hands Wild her <s>special drill bit</s> lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s>Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of where her murderer is and Wild declares revenge.

==External links==
[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_11/Page_1 Sonichu #11]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Template:Quote of the now

2010-02-14T21:58:16Z

Evang: Looking at the CWCipedia now that it's back, he set back all the issues to be normally counted. ugh chris

{{quote|I hat these bad days...|[[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]], [[Sonichu 11]]}}

Sonichu 10

2010-02-14T18:59:32Z

Evang:

[[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|thumb|Finalized issue cover, from [[July 2009]].]]

'''''Sonichu 10''''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]].

==Background==
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|October 9, 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa October 14, 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "[[time void]]" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu #9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. If he intends to use the material he's already published, he'll be breaking his promise within the first page.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==

{{Ongoing}}
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named [[Lovely Weather]]. Chris then goes on to reveal that he [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], and then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos]]exuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn Reldnahc back into Naitsirhc, whose one true love, [[Kel]] (?!) is worried sick about. He entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the <s>Sonichu Balls</s> Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse for him, restoring his virginity!) Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the usage of his real-life problems today: He calls out to Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS (apparently the couple here) to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and the instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at [[4chan|4-Cent Garbage]]'s HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]] and [[Punchy]] to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild in on the action. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]].

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]

Chris, first, makes a stop a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (it says it was hosted by Tripod, one of the original websites where he hosted his stuff). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound... until the Devil [[Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The troll's flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, [[fail|as best he can]], the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed ''[[Brutal Legend]]'', though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He than proceeds to teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs <s>Chaos</s> Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building (why?!), erects a barrier around the building and blows it up! He, then, claims that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, then burns down the bridge to Tripod (as he claims), then proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, whose revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, then to set up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed. Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''Guitar Hero'' [[guitar]]. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris putts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl "Jimmy!!" Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two [[sonichus]] fight it out until the two of them hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the [[lies|completely non homoerotic]] phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, Son-Chu, Sonichu, Blake and Wild arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel (who's suddenly alive), [[Clyde Cash]] (who's making his first official appearance in the comics) and [[Jack Thaddeus]] (who's making his first appearance here) warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. <strike>Chris, portraying</strike> Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, <strike>Chris portraying</strike> Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true <s>Americ</s>an heroes as <strike>Chris portrays them</strike> they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too [[alcohol|drunk]] to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. [[fail|Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375.]] A memorial would be put up in the ruins and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they ''probably'' had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.]]

[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on [[Women's rights|Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon]], [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31|being Big Brother]]. Upon returning, Magi-Chan declares that testing on the vaccine is a success and that he brought the crates to the present and are sending them across on trucks. It is said that one Feburary 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be called [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]]. He also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female from [[GodJesus]] and [[Fail|fall in love with Magi-Chan]].

All of a sudden, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a [[fail|fan of the comic series]]. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris, cheating on his future wife AGAIN. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

After taking the time to grovel at his fans for the past comic and begging them not to abandon him, he and Sonichu take the Sonichu Ball Crystal things and transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, Chris decides to go back to CWCVille, but tells Ultra Sonichu to head for RuleCWC with Darkbind Sonichu before heading for [[Asperchu|Minnesota]] and wait for him. Back in CWCVille, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. As Crystal comes to, Allison says that she's called the paramedics to look after her. For some reason Crystal refers to Christian as "Christopher", though it's not clear if this is meant to be some kind of sign between the siblings, or if Chris just forgot about his [[The Bear|name change]].

Meanwhile in RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. In "Da Cave", a stone breaks open and someone, possibly Clawdorf, realizes the Chaotic Crystals freed him... then asks how long he was out. That's right: the act of Chris and Sonichu activating their super forms allows a vaguely defined evil force to escape imprisonment. It's not like Chris and Sonichu ''needed'' to transform, either. The greatest threat to CWCville at the moment is Chris himself as he [[Twin Falling Towers|destroys various buildings]] with the power of [[fail|rock]]. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, who acts like the rest of the vapid rosechus over what Darkbind did for her. This rescue complete, Ultra Sonichu races out, but not before he "coles" the window hatch.

[[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
In Minnesota, Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu hover over the house of Alec Benson Leary, and break in. Discovering Alec's computer (which is revealed to be a [[Hex_bawx|HEX BAWX]] "Pavillion"; note Chris's computer is an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion (computer)|HP Pavillion]]), Chris [[Chris and sex|inserts his finger]] into a USB port, then concentrates and rips off ''Shadow the Hedgehog'' by placing himself inside the computer. Once inside, Chris proceeds to delete all files within the [[Asperpedia]], ban Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, the delete their accounts. He, then, steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator before he escapes, planting another Lightning Bomb to blow up the HEX BAWX. While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. While the art in Asperchu is hardly professional grade, at the very least it shows some understanding of perspective, proportion, and pacing. If anything it looks like a moderately skilled artist who just happens to be drawing very quickly, whereas Sonichu looks like it's drawn by a [[Christian Weston Chandler|retarded child]]. While investigating the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu overhears people talking and, upon leaving, discovers Asperchu and his variation of the Chaotic Combo, whom are tired of his world's mall. Upon seeing him, the Sonichu and Rosechu start going off into a nearly god-like praise for the [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu. The malformed beasts then proceed to tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's and pushed homosexuality on them and that they had real names before Alec gave them the names of the Chaotic Combo. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure them of Asperger's, transforming them into Michael, Bobby, Kitty, Trisha, Whisp and Swift (all of whom will never appear again). Asperchu then turns into a muscle-bound Sonichu known as Mitch. As thanks, Sonichu tells them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free. As he does, Chris blows up the HEX BAWX.

At this point the group literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before Chris]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God; simply a representative of God. Metal Asperchu then shows up and assaults the group. Chris creates a barrier, though he doesn't bother to use his nigh-omnipotence to destroy the enemy or send him to the [[The Moon|Goddamn moon]] and instead forces the non-chaotic Combo to combine their powers of [[fail]] to defeat the creature. With that out of the way, they Thank Chris again for being so awesome, then spot Asperchu creator Alec Benson Leary off-screen, and go to [[death threats|physically assault him]]. Chris has never seen an actual picture of Alec, and so he is never seen. Ultra Sonichu somehow knows that Alec has a group of rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Page 65 is a wall of text so mindbogglingly long and retarded that Chris has to cut his way out from the previous page (or something) to cram a picture. The tl;dr of it is an attempt to once again retcon everything his characters have done in anyone else's comics, reaffirming their sexuality, sweethearts, occupations, and rebuking any characterizations that say otherwise, in an attempt to absolutely distinguish that his Sonichu is unrelated to Asperchu in any way. He finishes by stating that his characters will never go to Minnesota, nor interact with any Mitch/Asperchu unless he says so. He then thanks the readers.

Impatient, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story.

Back in Cwcville, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]] (who has been trying to convince Chris to remove her from the comic via the [[mailbag]] for weeks), who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]], but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously (well, retardedly) hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest the Cwcville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

As is common for Chris, the long-running plot thread about rescuing Crystal from the Dark Mirror Hole is brought up practically as an afterthought, whereas dealling with his current annoyance is given far too much detail.

Finally, Ultra Sonichu and the 4 unnamed Rosechu's supposedly from [[Chris|Alec's]] basement arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated rosechus just stare on despondently. [[Basement Rosechus|The rosechus]], named Brit-tay, Bride, Moe and Mary, decide to live their lives <s>as vapid airheads who do nothing but simper over sonichus</s> the way they should. Ultra Sonichu helps Mary into a wheelchair and flies off. As he leaves, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. The guy tells Sonichu he's been fighting a cold for five years and Sonichu thinks it's because of the nicotine (yes, folks. The man's high and Chris thinks it's because of tobacky!). He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]], where [[Fan: Moon-Pals|certain people will know how to use it better]]. Flying to the highest point of CWCVille, Ultra Sonichu uses Chaotic Control to free every [[Jerkop]] in the city.

Meanwhile, Collosal Chan confronts [[Slaweel Ryam]] in the [[PVCC]]. There, Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune as some means for Chris to justify the running plot thread of Mary and her Jerkops had been somehow trying to stop TRUE and HONEST love and keep VIRGINIA for VIRGINS. [[Count Graduon]] had told her he could help her, but that obviously [[fail]]ed. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to smash it, her boobs apparently inflating to the levels of [[Mary Lee Walsh#Fan art|Troll fan art]] as she does. Chris looks at it like an idiot and does so without a second thought.

===Simonla's Death===

On 13 Feburary 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that is slated to appear in <s>Sonichu 11</s> Sonichu 10. In these pages, it shows Chris (who obviously is NOT pulling himself out of the comic) revealing that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems and he begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags as she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. They find Simonla and she isn't doing well. She hands Wild her <s>special drill bit</s> lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of where her murderer is and Wild declares revenge.

===Reaction===

====To the Preview====
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Sonichu 11

2010-02-14T18:56:50Z

Evang:

[[Image:Issue 11 Cover.jpg|thumb|TEN YEARS WITHOUT A CEASE AND DESIST LETTER FROM NINTENDO AND SEGA!]]
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|Take that, separation of church and state! Also: child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|She's addressing Chris.]]

'''''Sonichu 11''''' is the 12th comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic series]], dated 13 [[August 2009]]. Based on the cover, it will be the 10th anniversary issue, suggesting it will be released sometime in March 2010.

[[Chris]] began writing this issue while issue 10 was also in production, apparently to have somewhere to put the comic version of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]. Christmas 2009 came and went, and Chris apparently forgot about this unfinished story with 8 pages to go. In the meantime, he was still engrossed in tracing shit for his epic battle with [[Reldnahc]] and the anti-[[gay]] vaccine from the future.

==A Sonichu Christmas==
In [[December 2009]], in response to requests for a Sonichu Christmas special, Chris began to create a comic adaptation of Christmas Story, at the same time as he was working on the original prose version of the story. This marks the second time that Chris's [[Chris and writing|prose]] was adapted into comic form - the short story "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]" served as the basis for episodes 1 and 2 in [[Sonichu 0]].

The comic opens to show the Sonichu family in various states of celebration for the Christmas season, with the house decorated for the holiday. For a wintertime scene, the lawn of 14 Brunchland Lane is impossibly green, while a bike is left out along the side of the house awaiting permanent rusting from the events to follow. This is because Chris [[Scrapbook of Fail|reused]] the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic9P34.jpg original 14 Brunchland Lane picture] seen in [[Sonichu 9]] with a half-assed Photoshopping of the clouds and sky to a dark blue color to reflect the nighttime, the removal of [[Wild Sonichu]] running down the road, and the addition of poorly-rendered Christmas lights and a wreath onto the house. Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as Cera, Christine and Robbie hang stockings, rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be.

Christine notably plagiarizes a joke from ''[[Family Guy]]'', marking the second time Chris has stolen a ''Family Guy'' joke since [[Sonichu 8]], only this time instead of screwing up the context of the joke he manages to make the already off-color gag (that suggested Jesus' mother wasn't a virgin) more offensive, as it is being uttered by a child who intends to say it at her school play, likely leading to loud gasps, boos, and an expulsion. The scene takes focus on Sonichu and Robbie hanging stockings, Robbie proceeds to butcher a quote from a Holiday classic and they than have a long, boring conversation about what toys Robbie wants, the conversation finally ends with Sonichu giving a diabetes inducing speech about his kids.

Meanwhile Rosechu and Cera make an abnormally small amount of cookies, so that each child is apparently allotted one cookie in an individual plastic bag. Cera makes a big deal about making a special cookie for a Jewish kid in an uncomfortably awkward attempt at sensitivity. The cookie is vanilla flavored, in case the Jewish kid has some kind of food allergy. Rosechu and Cera do not consider that anyone other than Jews might have food allergies. Cera says "I wuv you!" While facing away from her mother and directly at the reader, apparently breaking the fourth wall. Chris really wants more people to love him unconditionally for being special. Robbie and Cera, speaking in complete sentences despite being toddlers, notice that it has snowed, with two feet expected to fall. Sonichu and Rosechu have a long conversation about purchasing groceries for "a few days."

While Sonichu goes to the supermarket, Christine recites [[Wikipedia:Magnificat|Luke 1:45 - 55]] (which Chris types as Luke 14.5 - 55) while Rosechu watches and the children stare on with their soulless green eyes. Incidentally, this Bible verse mentions how GodJesus will reward the humble and [[Chris and his Ego|punish the proud and the mighty]]. While this verse is commonly heard in Protestant churches, there's no way that any public school in the 21st century could get away with anything this overtly religious without fear of legal reprisal. Later, Sonichu returns home with groceries. His trip to the supermarket was uneventful and uninteresting.

The next morning, Sonichu and Rosechu sit in the kitchen drinking coffee. A [[KCWC]] announcer details CWCville school closings, and Sonichu expresses his anticipated enjoyment of a day spent with his family, hot "coca" and a warm [[Axe | shower]]. Rosechu subsequently nags him to clear the snow burying their palatial residence, so Sonichu "bundles up for work." Noticing that all doors and windows are barred by mounds of frozen precipitate, Sonichu decides to demonstrate his unholy powers to his children. "Imitating Santa", Sonichu crouches in the chimney, touches his nose, and with a cry of [[Mary Poppins|"Chim Chim Cheroo"]] flies up the flue.

He rises up out of the chimney looking like a [[niggos|ninja]] because of the soot, and then shakes it off. He then bizarrely uses his gift of sonic speed...
 ...to spend five minutes 'shoveling' the driveway while in his sonic mode, because using an actual shovel is too much [[Monthly tugboat|work]]; never mind that the light and fluffy snow he's moving will be blown towards a busy road and cause a [[Chris and death|tragic accident]]. Exhausted, he then heads back into the house for [[Chris and health#Hygiene|a shower]] making a sound as if he's [[Mass debating|pleasing himself]] while Rosechu looks on holding a hideous novelty Christmas towel as she blesses him.

==<s>Sonichu 11 Preview</s>==

On 13 Feburary 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages featuring the death of Simonla. Due to Chris's ridiculous filename conventions, it was originally believed these were from Sonichu #11. However, the filenames for Sonichu #0 were labelled as issue 1, meaning that [[Autism|#10 is technically #11 in the filenames]].

==External links==
[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_11/Page_1 Sonichu #11]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Template:Quote of the now

2010-02-14T18:54:02Z

Evang: it actually is 10. he titled the files for 0 as 1, so by that logic 11 would be 10

{{quote|I hat these bad days...|[[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]], [[Sonichu 10]]}}

File talk:SchuComic11P81.jpg

2010-02-14T07:29:22Z

Evang: /* I sense a trap. */

I don't know what's worse about the scene: the fact that Wild mourns Simonla for one panel or the fact that she died on the ''fucking toilet''? Jeez, my sides are hurting...!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 03:45, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

* I prefer to think one of two things happened. Either a Voltorb was in the toilet or disguised as the toilet paper, or Evan drilled a hole in reality and the sheer Win of it caused Simonla's Fail based organs to fail and the toilet to explode due to awesome overload. Magi-chan didn't really find the killer, he just wants Wild to off someone for him. Oh, and to be honest, Wild mourning her for one panel makes sense this time--he'd just found out she was fucked over and Magi-chan had just caused him to switch to murderous rage. Probably unintentional.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:03, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

What just happened? What is this? Did he really finally kill Simonla? That anticlimactically? Why does everything here seem so rushed? It reads page 80. Wasn't the most recent page uploaded to the CWCipedia before it got taken down around 70? What is going on? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 04:01, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

* Chris probably has ten pages drawn but he's been unable to upload them due to the site being dead and all.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:03, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

**Wait a tic - the file says "11P81"... this is in issue 11! It's another preview page!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:06, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
==I sense a trap.==
If Chris sent these emails just now and he said that he was never gonna kill Simonla, but instead kill the Asperpedia crew a couple days ago, I think I have a good clue who the murderers are. Chris turning Bill into a doctor, this would either be one of those clues or Chris had been planning to do one of his retarded tricks and he's still plotting to derail the Asperpedia comics' storylines. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]], aka for now [[User:Marco|Marco]] 05:19, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
:Then obviously, if he's trying to derail our storylines, we should just...not react to them at all. I am unsure if Alec and co. are really the murderers--especially after Alec already got the shit beaten out of him. [[User:Evang|Evang]] 05:21, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
:*Well, what about you, since you're the one who wants Simonla killed off in the first place because she's a ripoff of your Simonchu? --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 05:25, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
:*Evan, he's going to kill Simonchu(Or you, or Lord Nave for some reason) in an attempt to derail your storyline much in the same way he killed Metal Asperchu and altered Asperchu. I recommend ordering him not to do that--Chris HATES it when people don't let him get away with his shit(Read:Every authority figure except Snorlax). Tell him that the culprit must not be you or any of the Asperpedia characters or else Chris will have failed his end of the bargain. In fact, tell him that the culprit will be a random member of Team Galactic (I think he hates Gen IV anyway) who planted a bomb in the toilet(again the team member must not be you or any Asperpedia characters or else Chris has failed to meet the terms of his agreement).--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:37, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
:**I seriously doubt he's gonna kill Simonchu, but Evan certainly. Chris thinks all cartoon characters live in another universe and share the same attitude as him. Also, Chris spared Asperchu's life but he turned him into Mitch. --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 06:33, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
:**Evan, yes. But he already put Simonchu into his comic via the Haiti image and thinks that he can can off him in retaliation. Think of a child who, when forced to share, breaks the toy so neither of them can use it. Chris is a child. He'll do something like this and he's not afraid to off them. Just saying "Oh, that was just another wild Simonchu you killed, the real one is still alive" will cause another spout of hypocrisy. Saying "No Chris, you aren't allowed to do that" before he does that will piss him off on par with Mary telling him that he'll never get laid with the sign. Chris, more than anything, ''hates'' feeling impotent--why else would his characters be all-powerful? Chris wants revenge on Evan for making him kill Simonla, and denying him that will force him to express the rage he feels elsewhere--IE, the Youtube. Do it, Evan.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:54, 14 February 2010 (UTC)
::It depends on what he does. I don't talk to him directly, I have been speaking through others for the sake of convenience for everyone involved right now. So I'm going to try and see who he plans on having as the murderers and work from there. [[User:Evang|Evang]] 07:29, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

File talk:SchuComic11P81.jpg

2010-02-14T05:21:05Z

Evang: /* I sense a trap. */

Template:Quote of the now

2010-02-14T05:05:57Z

Evang: whoops

{{quote|I hat these bad days...|[[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]], [[Sonichu 11]]}}

List of Sonichu characters

2010-02-14T05:03:58Z

Evang: /* Bill The Scientist */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of [[fail|appearance]].

==[[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]]==

=== Sonichu ===
{{main|Sonichu (character)}}

Chris-chan's "original" character. Sonichu is a Sonic re-color who is an unholy fusion of Sonic and Pikachu. He is the main protagonist in the comics. That is, until Chris takes the spotlight. His only purpose in recent episodes is to make sleazy sex references and bang Rosechu.

=== Chris-chan/Chris-chan Sonichu ===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan Sonichu}}

Chris-chan's alternate self and Mary Sue. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much more slender than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!''

=== Perfect Chaos Monster ===
[[Image: Perfect_chaos.jpg|thumb|140px|left|Perfect Chaos as seen in Sonic X]]
[[Image: SchuComicPage6.jpg|thumb|140px|right|Perfect Chaos as seen in Sonichu #0]]

Perfect Chaos, or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the [[Sonic The Hedgehog|Sonic]] game [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes '''Perfect Chaos''', a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the positive energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]].

The story begins with a male [[Pikachu]] who wanders to Station Square to witness Super Sonic battling Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". Whether this is the same Sonic/Chaos battle depicted in "Sonic Adventure" is unknown, although Chaos destroyed the city in the game, so a rematch in the same city seems dubious.

During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory. Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild.

Later, Sonichu meets Sonic in a [[Sonichu 1|chance encounter]], and the two piece together what happened. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of Sonichu.

=== Sonic the Hedgehog ===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

Sega mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic (aside from Sonichu). He makes a few appearances in the comic. Most notably in ''Sonichu #0'' as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence.

=== Rosechu ===
{{main|Rosechu}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 1-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime.

===Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into Rosechu. Continued to take care of Rosechu until Sonichu took over as her new pimp. She was never heard from again, though it came to light that by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]].

===David the Dragonite===

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Niggo|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[China]], and suggesting Kel [[Patti-Chan|have sex with him herself]]. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon|retconned]] into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of [[Kel]]'s Pokemon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered [[Rosechu]] "Daisy" for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, he was an orphan adopted by the Pokémon villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an [[gay|evil]] version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnach Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin. Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque Sonichu.

===Black Sonichu===
{{main|Black Sonichu}}

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic urine-and-feces color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for Giovanni, and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic rape at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|trannie]]

===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. The group is composed of:
*[[Wild Sonichu]]: Green recolor. Prays that God might pity him enough to grant him free sex.
*[[Punchy Sonichu]]: Red recolor. Knuckles the Echidna minus personality plus weird racist-looking eyes.
*[[Bubbles|Bubbles Rosechu]]: Blue recolor. Airhead slut.
*[[Angelica|Angelica Rosechu]]: White recolor. Fatass slut. Gave up dieting for Lent.
*[[Magi-Chan Sonichu]]: Purple recolor. Sort of a furry Dr. Manhattan with a vest. [[Wes_Iseli|Not a magician.]]

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Shameless ripoff of Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie who seems to be in dire need of pants. Flame is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokemon, yet he readily uses Pokemon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer}}

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furfag just like himself. As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone.

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli}}

Sarah's boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee. When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]].

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of Piedmont Virginia Community College, against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]].

===Zapdos===
''See [[Pokémon]]

Pokémon used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture Rosechu and battle Sonichu in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would use for his own [[gay|evil]] purposes.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]]

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive [[African American]] man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

==[[Sonichu 1|Sonichu #1]]==

===Doctor Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

Arch-nemesis to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. Enlisted to aid [[Giovanni]] in capturing Sonichu.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}

Leader of Team Rocket. Determined to capture Sonichu at any cost, Giovanni teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, thanks to the timely intervention of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

=== Bill The Scientist ===
[[Image:Bill.jpg|right|thumb|His face <s>is</s> was a mystery.]]
[[File:Bill1.png|left|thumb|Bill Schwartz the Scientist]]
One of the more popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill the Scientist was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

Bill is currently believed to be getting high somewhere with the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], [[Silvana]] and [[Yawning Squirtle]]. Chris disputes this unorthodox fan theory in [[Twitter]], saying Bill is still in employ of Giovanni, and will be returning in comic. He then contradicts this when he appears later in [[Sonichu 11]], stating that Bill stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days.

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic. Funnily enough the only character that is a rip-off even according to Chris. Sadly though, he blames Robotnik for it. After being defeated by Sonic and Sonichu in [[Sonichu 1]] he crashes into the fucking [[moon]], however, he survives this attack, as evident by his hand rising out of one of the craters resulting in a cliffhanger. His current whereabouts are unknown, but [[Count Graduon]] is also on the moon now, so it is possible they are an alliance. The fans have speculated that Chris probably just forgot about the piece of shit and he will never be heard of again, but [[Mailbag]] and [[Twitter]] updates hint that in [[Sonichu 11|Issue 11]], Graduon will return from the moon, possessing Metal Sonichu — and by saying that Chris totally ruined this <del>awesome</del> completely predictable plot twist. Damn you, Twitter!

<gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg
</gallery>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s love interest. Met [[Rosechu]] one day in [[CWCville Mall]], and the two discussed their uncanny resemblance, and their respective vapid love lives.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

Woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris, epic lulzcow that he is, not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

==[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]==
===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===

An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

*[[Ancient_leader_of_the_Cherokee_Clan|Ancient Leader of the Cherokian Clan]]
*[[Wasabi Rival]]
*[[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]]

===Golem===

Weapon used by Count Graduon after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his trannie rape weapon against the [[fail|heroic]] Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

==[[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]]==

=== Sonee & Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}} 

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and their [[Chaotic Combo|recolors]]. They made their debut appearance on the first page of [[Sonichu_3|Sonichu #3]].

 

===Venusaur===
''See [[Pokémon]]''

A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.
 

===Scyther===
''See [[Pokémon]]''

For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], Wild would tell Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a [[fail|failure]] to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

Ever since that fateful day, Wild has sworn to take revenge on the poachers, a complex scheme which apparently involves moving to [[CWCville]], hanging out at Spring Break parties, and attending Dating Education classes. As for his father, by now the poachers have probably stuck him in a jar with a scorpion and forced them to fight to the death.

Note: Although the correct pronunciation of "Scyther" is "sigh-ther", this is routinely ignored in the [[Audiobooks]].
 

===Swampert===
''See [[Pokémon]]''

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to and end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.
 

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
[[Image:Boulder_Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]

As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised [[Bubbles Rosechu]], and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles' timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for Sonichu characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.

Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in a blog in January 2010 that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord. Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

On 12 [[January 2010]], Chris [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|posted in his blog]] that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The [[Trolls|fans]] have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]] '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like [[Angelica]] they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from, as some sort of gross souvenir of the day they discovered her; Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, and they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

 

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris' many horrible [[Excel Saga]] references. The anime's director, Shinici Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in Puni Puni Poemy a follow-up project to Excel Saga.

In Sonichu, Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for Great Director Watanabe, a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in Puni Puni Poemy, and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.
 

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in Sonichu]]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of Puni Puni Poemy, depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. In Sonichu, Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the Dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]].
 

=== Mewtwo ===
''See [[Pokémon]]''

A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers. Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this, though, it'll probably never happen.
 

===B-Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]]. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]].
 

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], ''''Merried Seinor Comic'''', also known as ''''Kirby'''', is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonalds' Chris was loitering in that day. In Sonichu, he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, [[Darkbind Sonichu]] arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.
 

===W-M-Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, ''''W-M-Manajerk'''' confronts Chris shortly after [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.
 

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the [[Manajerks]] at the [[Mal-Wart]] region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]].
 

===Mecha-Jerkops===

{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the [[Manajerks]] to forcibly eject Chris from the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops.
 

==[[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]]==
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]/[[Crystalina Rosechu]]
*[[Snorlax]]
*[[ScotPalazzo]]
*[[Bagget]], Jerkop Daitenzen
*[[Turdijerk]]
*Trebor Capman - Accomplice
*[[Crackder]] - portmanteau of the Decepticons Thundercracker and...um...Thundercracker.

==[[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]]==
*Jack's Knight as William Spicer ([[Sarah Hammer]]'s husband)
*[[Sailor Megtune]]/[[Megan Schroeder]]
*[[Megagi La Skunk]]
*Harriet
*Joseph
*Julia
*Nick
*[[Jamsta Sonichu]]
*CWCville Constable
*[[CADD Chef]], aka Keneru-Meneth

==[[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]]==
*[[Patti Chandler]]/[[Patti-Chan]]
*[[Allison Amber]]
*[[Shadow the Hedgehog]] (in [[Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]] ad)
*[[Zelina Rosechu]]
*[[Clawdorf]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]

==[[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]==
===Mighty the Armadillo===
Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Armordillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by Sonichu readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical "Family Guy" style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate caricature of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

*Skelevision
*Ghost Buggy
*The Filmation [[Ghostbusters]]
*[[Kellie Andes]]
*[[Bender Bending Rodreiguez]]
*[[Joseph Herring]]
*[[Beavis]]
*[[Butt-head]]
===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|right|100px|You have the right to remain sexayyyyy]]
Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu #4|Sonichu #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Kathleen]] (Jason's Woman Slave)
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Jiggliami]]
*[[Lolisa Rosechu]]
*[[Robert Simmons V]] aka sonichufan1985 aka sonichufan1986
 

==[[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]==
*[[Thurston Howell III]]
*[[Lovey Howell]]
*[[Beel]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]] employees
*[[George W. Bush]]
*[[Barack Obama]]
*[[John McCain]]
*[[Hillary Clinton]]
*[[Sarah Palin]]
*[[Simonla Rosechu]]
*[[Zapina Rosechu]]

===Greta Squall===

News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News". Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.
 

*[[Silvana Rosechu]]
*[[Yawning Squirtle]] (hell yeah!)
*[[Mudkips]]
*[[Seadra]]
*[[Goldeen]]
*[[Staryu]]
*[[Corsola]]
*[[Octillery]]
*[[Mantine]]
*[[Corphish]]
*[[Optimus Prime]]
*[[Troll]] from the movie "Troll"?
*[[Sarah Jackson]]
*[[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]] aka [[Panda Halo]]

==[[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]==
*Sarah Jackaras - Comic version of [[Sarah Jackson]]
*George Phillip - Looks like Kenny from [[South Park]].
*[[Layla Flaaffy]]
*[[Ivy]]
*[[Reginald Sneasel]] - Hates darkies and shows obvious signs of jealousy just like Chris
*[[God/Jesus]]

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|]]
One of the few [[Niggos|black]] characters in Sonichu that isn't evil. She is rejected by Reginald, mirroring Chris' own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

*Rita Jackaras
*Barely mentioned:
**Amy Testa
**Clem Jennings
**Geraldine
**Fred Shiflet
**Emily Ryan
**Unnamed computer-lab attendant
**Clyde Raymond - Scored the lowest on the dating test. Possible stab at [[Clyde Cash]]

*Robots (Transformers rip-offs, because Chris can't ruin your childhood enough):
**[[Prower]] - Punchy's Motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from Transformers Animated
**[[Scoundrals As Vessels]] - evil PVCC Decepticon, Repaint of Swindle from Transformers Animated
**[[Son-Chu]] - Chris's gay ass car with the Sonichu vanity plate
**[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from Transformers Animated. also a pizza delivery car
**[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from Revenge of the Fallen.
**[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from Transformers Animated, Even has guitar as a weapon.

*[[BlazeBob Sonichu]]
*[[Chloe Rosechu]]

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]]. <ref>From the CWCKipedia Sonichu page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."'' </ref>

*[[CChanSonichuCWC|IBAChandler]] - The Sonichu variation of Liquid Chris.

==[[Sonichu 10| Sonichu #10]]==
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|right|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]
===Bugs Bunny===

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, Bugs Bunny appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringment]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

*[[Little Big Planet|Sackboy]]
*[[Jimmy Hill]]

===Others===

*[[Clyde Cash]] - a [[homo]] [[troll]] that Chris forces to kill himself.
*[[Jack Thaddeus]] - another homo troll that Chris forces to kill himself.
*[[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] - Revealed to be Silvana in disguise.
*[[Asperchu]]/Mitch Sonichu - an alternate universe variation of Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu creation. Is cured of Asperger's and transformed into Mitch Sonichu by Ultra Sonichu.
*Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu - the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Wild Sonichu, Bubbles Rosechu, Angelica Rosechu, Punchy Sonichu and Magi-Chan. Transformed and cured of their Asperger's by Ultra Sonichu.
*Metal Asperchu - A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.
*Alec Benson Leary - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly"

==[[Sonichu Special 2]]==
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|right|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]
===Ching Chong===
A small Chinese girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appear as the flower girl.

*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs which are ring bearers

*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear Solid | Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of Raptor Chefs.
*'''Lilith''' - A meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*[[My Little Pony]]
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}
==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
*[[CChanSonichuCWC]] - The REAL CHRIS who is falsely portrayed is a madman who kidnapped Kacey and likes to cut people
*[[Kacey]] - The Damsel in Distress
*[[Transformers|Megatron]] - used to injure a man who is already disarmed.
*Kacey's family - All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs
**[[Father_Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Figher 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry).
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Sonichu]] [[Category: Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

Template:Quote of the now

2010-02-14T04:58:47Z

Evang: This seems to be popular right now

{{quote|I hat these bad days...|[[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]], [[Sonichu 10]]}}

Simonla Rosechu

2010-02-14T03:40:04Z

Evang: /* Death */

{{Ongoing}}

'''Simonla Rosechu''' (aka '''Simonla''', pronounced like ''Simolna'') is an orange [[Rosechu (species)|rosechu]] who can turn her arms into drills and dig underground. She also has a drill at the end of her tail.

Originally a [[troll|fan]] character submitted by Evan named '''Simonchu''', [[Chris]] instead added breasts and a [[china]] and turned it into Simonla so he'd have something to [[mass debating|masturbate]] to.

==Background==
Evan told Chris he got his drills from being raised by Beedrill, though any bona fide weeaboo knows the drills and the name come from Simon the Driller, from ''[[Wikipedia:Gurren Lagann|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]''. Interestingly, in his [[Apologies to Alec and Evan]] video, Chris pronounces Simonchu as ''Sigh-Mon-Chu'' and not ''See-moan-chu'', meaning that:

*Chris has never seen Gurren Lagann before, much to the relief of many fans and
*Simonla's pronunciation would be ''Sigh-mon-lah''.

Her actual character biography is basically non-existent. While the members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] all have their own retarded little backstories to explain where they came from and what they're doing together, Simonla just shows up one day, ready to strip naked and present backdrops. Where she's been and why she never helped with all the crazy shit that happens in [[CWCville]] is never addressed. At all.

[[Evan]] eventually clears it up in his Simonchu comic: Simonla is a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|female clone]] of Simonchu, sent back in time to befriend the other Electric Hedgehogs so that Chris can prove [[Wild]] is STRAIGHT to the trolls in order to cover up [[Asperchu|Alec's SLANDEROUS portrayals]]. This explains, somewhat, Chris's constant references to Simonla and Simonchu being siblings, though it may be more accurate to consider Simonla a daughter to Simonchu. [[lie|Chris is sure to integrate this creative and interesting plot twist into his own comic immediately]], [[Mitch Sonichu|just as he expects other people to change their comics to match his ideas]].

==Development==
[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|Before...]]
On 26 August 2008, Evan posted on his [[DeviantArt]] account:<ref>http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351</ref>

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
My Sonichu fancharacter.

Simonchu
Age: 14
Ground/Electric

Simonchu was originally a Pikachu, raised by a swarm of Beedrill. However, when Perfect Chaos attacked Station Square, the Pikachu and Beedrills watched from a nearby forest. In the middle of the battle a flash of pure Chaos energy was released, killing all the Beedrills. The Pikachu, however, was able to absorb the Chaos energy and use it to evolve. Depressed due to his parents' demise, Simonchu took his parents' drills and dug deep underground, leaving no one in CWCville to know of this unique Sonichu and his awesome powers.

until today...

...
[[Image:Simonla.jpg|thumb|...and after. Chris has the reverse Midas touch - everything he touches turns to shit.]]

Now I really must send it to him and hope he includes Simonchu in another issue. He is JUST bad enough to fit into Sonichu. </div>

Three months later, Chris did use the character, as he had wanted to create a ground-type Sonichu or Rosechu character. He could have used Simonchu, as he had Evan's permission to, but, feeling that he had enough Sonichu characters (or, more likely, needing material to [[mass debating|mass debate]] to), he decided to turn Simonchu into Simonla (playing off Simone, the feminine form of Simon), because to Chris, tits = better. Chris-chan also misinterpreted the cloak Simonchu wore as some sort of shell, judging by Simonla's line, "My shell is removable!"

Chris has claimed on Simonla's CWCipedia page that in Episode 20 he will introduce Simonchu as a ground (and only ground) type. [[Lie|He never showed up.]]

===Forced Romance===

{{Quote|plus pairing Simonla with Wild as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract."|Chris, [[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails?|completely failing to explain anything]].}}

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], Simonla attends the [[Dating education|dating classes]] and is eventually paired up with Wild Sonichu. Chris-chan had previously revealed this to Evan in the ancient Sonichu IRC chatroom, but it ended up creating one of the most horrific pages in Sonichu history.

===Evan's Response===

In late [[December 2009]], [[Evan]] [[Mailbag 22#Evan: back with a vengeance|e-mailed Chris]], accusing him of lying about the resolution Chris claimed to have worked out with him. Chris [[Rejected Mailbag#Let Me Get Back To You On That|ignored]] this e-mail.

Four mailbags later, Evan [[Mailbag 26#It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them|once again]] petitioned Chris, this time saying Chris was stealing his character. Evan politely asked Chris to kill Simonla in the comic, yet Chris responded by saying that he could not write out Simonla, as she was [[Wild]]'s girlfriend, and that he shouldn't be a monster for wanting to do so.

Evan [[Mailbag 35|tried again]], tired of it all, where Chris pointedly refused once more. Disillusioned with Chris, Evan allowed [[Asperchu|the creator of ''Asperchu'', Alec Benson Leary]], to feature Simonchu as one of Sonichu's friends. Whilst Simonchu is portrayed as a homosexual in the comic, [[Mailbag 40#Simonchu_swings_both_ways|Evan confirmed in an e-mail to Chris that Simonchu is bisexual]], and that Alec treated the character with far more respect than changing his gender without permission. Chris still persists with his refusal, on the grounds that depriving Wild of his girlfriend would be awful.

Evan would ask Chris to remove Simonla once again in [[Mailbag 43]]. Chris responded with one of his most bizarre and megalomanical statements yet, explaining that Simonla "didn't want" to leave CWCville, and that Evan himself "moves on" under the influence of [[Chris and his ego|Chris's Directorial Powers.]] Chris would later claim that Simonla should be considered an original character, since Chris could have, theoretically, come up with the concept on his own, with the fact that he actually based her on Simonchu's design more or less a coincidence:

{{quote|...IF I start with a Normal Rosechu, give her ground and dirt for skin, add some Drills, Natural Second Transparent Eyelids, an Armadillo Shell with a Drill Spot for a Marking on the front, and Construction Shoes, DOES NOT MEAN AT ALL of YOUR story of "Re-Modifying Simonchu with a Vagina"; THE TWO ARE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS, so do us all a favor and QUIT B****ING AND STRESSING YOURSELF TO YOUR OWN PREMATURE DEATH.|Chris, [[Mailbag 44]].}}

Chris even edits the [[CWCipedia]], with the blatant [[lie]] that Simonla was not, in any way, inspired by Simonchu. The fact that she has a shell of identical color and shape to Simonchu's cloak, a drill marking in the exact same place as Simonchu's drill medallion, and extra eyelids that replicate red goggles such as Simonchu wears is completely coincidental.

TL;DR Pointless, throwaway relationships = Rights to use a fan character, in Chris's mind.

===Chris denies reality===
After a good deal of back-and-forth in the [[Mailbag]] over what to do with Simonla, on 02 February 2010 Chris added the following note to his profile of the character on the [[CWCipedia]]:
[[Image:Fkinglie.png|thumb|Evan's response.]]
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story.</div>

This fooled absolutely no one. Evan and his fellows responded with a barrage of new advertisements at the top of every CWCipedia page, pointing out Chris's obvious lie.

===Chris Loses Big Time===

On [[I am Alive|February 6th 2010]], Chris posted up a new video, finally conceding defeat on keeping Simonla, promising to kill her off and remove her entry in the CWCipedia. Sadly, this didn't faze Evan in the slightest and he had his lawyers send a cease and desist notice, forcing the Sysop there to disable editing on the CWCipedia until things can be resolved.

Early 9 February 2010, the CWCipedia was removed for good.

==Simonla the [[Pedofork]]==
In the Dating Education episode, we see Simonla outside Cwcville U talking to [[Zapina]], the 14-year-old girl who wants to strip despite those "dumb child protection Laws" Chris and the Sonichu gang hate so much. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend," which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16-year-old boy".

One can only wonder why she would do such a thing, when any woman in her right mind would tell her to focus on her studies and hang out with friends her own age before worrying about boys, especially one two years older when she's clearly underage!

==Death==
On February 9th 2010, Chris released a video in which he may have let slip that Simonla is not long for the world of Cwcville:

{{Quote|And I never wanted to kill Simonla! But I was practically back-BLACK mailed by that god damned by that god damned Evan...}}

On 13 Feburary 2010, Chris sent Evan an email, revealing the pages in which Chris finally kills off Simonla. In the pages, it is shown that Simonla is killed ''by a bomb in the ladies bathroom''. After being <s>injured worse</s> treated by [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]], who had quit being with Giovanni, Simonla passes on, forcing Wild to mourn for ONE PANEL before Magi-Chan reveals where her killers are.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:SimonlaThePedofork.jpg|Chris subtly lets slip his pedofork tendencies through Simonla
Image:SchuComic10P20.jpg|this is God punishing Evan for sending him those e-mails.
Image:Simonlaemailqf7.png|The e-mail confirming Simonla's appearance.
Image:SimonlaOriginalDesign.jpg|Chris's original design of Simonla.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

*[[Evan]]
*The TRUE, HONEST and PICKLE-HAVING Advenures of Simonchu and Niachu: [http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Simonla Rosechu

2010-02-14T03:39:18Z

Evang: /* Death */

{{Ongoing}}

'''Simonla Rosechu''' (aka '''Simonla''', pronounced like ''Simolna'') is an orange [[Rosechu (species)|rosechu]] who can turn her arms into drills and dig underground. She also has a drill at the end of her tail.

Originally a [[troll|fan]] character submitted by Evan named '''Simonchu''', [[Chris]] instead added breasts and a [[china]] and turned it into Simonla so he'd have something to [[mass debating|masturbate]] to.

==Background==
Evan told Chris he got his drills from being raised by Beedrill, though any bona fide weeaboo knows the drills and the name come from Simon the Driller, from ''[[Wikipedia:Gurren Lagann|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]''. Interestingly, in his [[Apologies to Alec and Evan]] video, Chris pronounces Simonchu as ''Sigh-Mon-Chu'' and not ''See-moan-chu'', meaning that:

*Chris has never seen Gurren Lagann before, much to the relief of many fans and
*Simonla's pronunciation would be ''Sigh-mon-lah''.

Her actual character biography is basically non-existent. While the members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] all have their own retarded little backstories to explain where they came from and what they're doing together, Simonla just shows up one day, ready to strip naked and present backdrops. Where she's been and why she never helped with all the crazy shit that happens in [[CWCville]] is never addressed. At all.

[[Evan]] eventually clears it up in his Simonchu comic: Simonla is a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|female clone]] of Simonchu, sent back in time to befriend the other Electric Hedgehogs so that Chris can prove [[Wild]] is STRAIGHT to the trolls in order to cover up [[Asperchu|Alec's SLANDEROUS portrayals]]. This explains, somewhat, Chris's constant references to Simonla and Simonchu being siblings, though it may be more accurate to consider Simonla a daughter to Simonchu. [[lie|Chris is sure to integrate this creative and interesting plot twist into his own comic immediately]], [[Mitch Sonichu|just as he expects other people to change their comics to match his ideas]].

==Development==
[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|Before...]]
On 26 August 2008, Evan posted on his [[DeviantArt]] account:<ref>http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351</ref>

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
My Sonichu fancharacter.

Simonchu
Age: 14
Ground/Electric

Simonchu was originally a Pikachu, raised by a swarm of Beedrill. However, when Perfect Chaos attacked Station Square, the Pikachu and Beedrills watched from a nearby forest. In the middle of the battle a flash of pure Chaos energy was released, killing all the Beedrills. The Pikachu, however, was able to absorb the Chaos energy and use it to evolve. Depressed due to his parents' demise, Simonchu took his parents' drills and dug deep underground, leaving no one in CWCville to know of this unique Sonichu and his awesome powers.

until today...

...
[[Image:Simonla.jpg|thumb|...and after. Chris has the reverse Midas touch - everything he touches turns to shit.]]

Now I really must send it to him and hope he includes Simonchu in another issue. He is JUST bad enough to fit into Sonichu. </div>

Three months later, Chris did use the character, as he had wanted to create a ground-type Sonichu or Rosechu character. He could have used Simonchu, as he had Evan's permission to, but, feeling that he had enough Sonichu characters (or, more likely, needing material to [[mass debating|mass debate]] to), he decided to turn Simonchu into Simonla (playing off Simone, the feminine form of Simon), because to Chris, tits = better. Chris-chan also misinterpreted the cloak Simonchu wore as some sort of shell, judging by Simonla's line, "My shell is removable!"

Chris has claimed on Simonla's CWCipedia page that in Episode 20 he will introduce Simonchu as a ground (and only ground) type. [[Lie|He never showed up.]]

===Forced Romance===

{{Quote|plus pairing Simonla with Wild as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract."|Chris, [[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails?|completely failing to explain anything]].}}

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], Simonla attends the [[Dating education|dating classes]] and is eventually paired up with Wild Sonichu. Chris-chan had previously revealed this to Evan in the ancient Sonichu IRC chatroom, but it ended up creating one of the most horrific pages in Sonichu history.

===Evan's Response===

In late [[December 2009]], [[Evan]] [[Mailbag 22#Evan: back with a vengeance|e-mailed Chris]], accusing him of lying about the resolution Chris claimed to have worked out with him. Chris [[Rejected Mailbag#Let Me Get Back To You On That|ignored]] this e-mail.

Four mailbags later, Evan [[Mailbag 26#It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them|once again]] petitioned Chris, this time saying Chris was stealing his character. Evan politely asked Chris to kill Simonla in the comic, yet Chris responded by saying that he could not write out Simonla, as she was [[Wild]]'s girlfriend, and that he shouldn't be a monster for wanting to do so.

Evan [[Mailbag 35|tried again]], tired of it all, where Chris pointedly refused once more. Disillusioned with Chris, Evan allowed [[Asperchu|the creator of ''Asperchu'', Alec Benson Leary]], to feature Simonchu as one of Sonichu's friends. Whilst Simonchu is portrayed as a homosexual in the comic, [[Mailbag 40#Simonchu_swings_both_ways|Evan confirmed in an e-mail to Chris that Simonchu is bisexual]], and that Alec treated the character with far more respect than changing his gender without permission. Chris still persists with his refusal, on the grounds that depriving Wild of his girlfriend would be awful.

Evan would ask Chris to remove Simonla once again in [[Mailbag 43]]. Chris responded with one of his most bizarre and megalomanical statements yet, explaining that Simonla "didn't want" to leave CWCville, and that Evan himself "moves on" under the influence of [[Chris and his ego|Chris's Directorial Powers.]] Chris would later claim that Simonla should be considered an original character, since Chris could have, theoretically, come up with the concept on his own, with the fact that he actually based her on Simonchu's design more or less a coincidence:

{{quote|...IF I start with a Normal Rosechu, give her ground and dirt for skin, add some Drills, Natural Second Transparent Eyelids, an Armadillo Shell with a Drill Spot for a Marking on the front, and Construction Shoes, DOES NOT MEAN AT ALL of YOUR story of "Re-Modifying Simonchu with a Vagina"; THE TWO ARE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS, so do us all a favor and QUIT B****ING AND STRESSING YOURSELF TO YOUR OWN PREMATURE DEATH.|Chris, [[Mailbag 44]].}}

Chris even edits the [[CWCipedia]], with the blatant [[lie]] that Simonla was not, in any way, inspired by Simonchu. The fact that she has a shell of identical color and shape to Simonchu's cloak, a drill marking in the exact same place as Simonchu's drill medallion, and extra eyelids that replicate red goggles such as Simonchu wears is completely coincidental.

TL;DR Pointless, throwaway relationships = Rights to use a fan character, in Chris's mind.

===Chris denies reality===
After a good deal of back-and-forth in the [[Mailbag]] over what to do with Simonla, on 02 February 2010 Chris added the following note to his profile of the character on the [[CWCipedia]]:
[[Image:Fkinglie.png|thumb|Evan's response.]]
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story.</div>

This fooled absolutely no one. Evan and his fellows responded with a barrage of new advertisements at the top of every CWCipedia page, pointing out Chris's obvious lie.

===Chris Loses Big Time===

On [[I am Alive|February 6th 2010]], Chris posted up a new video, finally conceding defeat on keeping Simonla, promising to kill her off and remove her entry in the CWCipedia. Sadly, this didn't faze Evan in the slightest and he had his lawyers send a cease and desist notice, forcing the Sysop there to disable editing on the CWCipedia until things can be resolved.

Early 9 February 2010, the CWCipedia was removed for good.

==Simonla the [[Pedofork]]==
In the Dating Education episode, we see Simonla outside Cwcville U talking to [[Zapina]], the 14-year-old girl who wants to strip despite those "dumb child protection Laws" Chris and the Sonichu gang hate so much. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend," which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16-year-old boy".

One can only wonder why she would do such a thing, when any woman in her right mind would tell her to focus on her studies and hang out with friends her own age before worrying about boys, especially one two years older when she's clearly underage!

==Death==
On February 9th 2010, Chris released a video in which he may have let slip that Simonla is not long for the world of Cwcville:

{{Quote|And I never wanted to kill Simonla! But I was practically back-BLACK mailed by that god damned by that god damned Evan...}}

Could this mean that the abomination Simonla has finally been put out of our misery? Only time will tell.

On 13 Feburary 2010, Chris sent Evan an email, revealing the pages in which Chris finally kills off Simonla. In the pages, it is shown that Simonla is killed ''by a bomb in the ladies bathroom''. After being <s>injured worse</s> treated by [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s> Doctor]], who had quit being with Giovanni, Simonla passes on, forcing Wild to mourn for ONE PANEL before Magi-Chan reveals where her killers are.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:SimonlaThePedofork.jpg|Chris subtly lets slip his pedofork tendencies through Simonla
Image:SchuComic10P20.jpg|this is God punishing Evan for sending him those e-mails.
Image:Simonlaemailqf7.png|The e-mail confirming Simonla's appearance.
Image:SimonlaOriginalDesign.jpg|Chris's original design of Simonla.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

*[[Evan]]
*The TRUE, HONEST and PICKLE-HAVING Advenures of Simonchu and Niachu: [http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Template:Da update

2010-02-14T03:18:06Z

Evang:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>

* 13 February - Evan releases [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Guest_Comic_By_Christopher_Christian_Ricardo_Weston_Chandler the Simonla death pages].
* 12 February - The [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is brought back from the dead; however, it is currently only a page of Alec's Sonichu Revolution.
* 11 February - Chris once again makes a scene in ''[[Family Guy]]'' when [[Meg Griffin]] is a hot chick the featured video on his [[YouTube]] page, but is taken down due to a [[copyright]] claim from Twentieth Century Fox.
* 9 February - Mao leaks [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Calls|seven phone conversations]] between Alec and Chris.
* 9 February - Chris makes a [[9 February 2010|video]] about how the Mao, Alec, Evan and Sean have [[Simonchu|destroyed the undestroyable.]]
* 9 February - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia] is wiped out.
* 6 February - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page&action=edit The CWCipedia is locked to edits] due to a cease and desist regarding [[Simonla Rosechu]].
* 5 February - Chris assures YouTube that he is [[5 February 2010|alive]], and talks about [[rape]] and hamsters.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5

2010-02-10T19:37:09Z

Evang: /* Transcription */

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5''' is the fifth of the phone calls between Alec and Chris.

==Summary==

In this phone call, Alec is obviously annoyed with [[Chris]] to the point of berating him like he's a child. Alec calls Chris a [[troll]] and a bully and is upset that he decided to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|curse Mao]]. He is also upset that the [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apology video]] was missing key elements which Alec requested as well as containing subjects such as belittling Alec's fanbase as well as not apologizing to [[Evan]] in the comic. Later, Chris steals a page from [[Wikipedia:Norman Bates|Norman Bates]] as he tries to impersonate [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] in order to get off of the phone with Alec.

==Transcription==

 '''Alec''': it's Alec. How are you?

 '''Chris''': Hey Alec. I'm doing okay, how are you?

 '''Alec''': I'm good, I'm good. Yeah... So, uh... I saw your apology video.

 '''Chris''': mhm.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, um... You were... I'm glad that uh, you know you got some things there but you're missing a
couple of things from the video.

 '''Chris''': Hmm... I missed a couple of things...

 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah, yeah... a few things actually. Um, you know I asked you to apologize for the word 'naive'. You didn't do that. 

 '''Chris''': Oh, okay. My bad.

 '''Alec''': Yep, yeah, it is your bad. 'Cause that word means such a big deal to you I wanted you to mention that specifically. Pretty sure I said that.

 '''Chris''': yeah

 '''Alec''': Another thing, you also said my, "quote unquote fanmail", which, I didn't like that. It was like you were suggesting that I don't actually have real fans. That's... that's not nice, Chris.

 '''Chris''': (pauses) Well, I did not mean that.

 '''Alec''': Well then why'd you say it?

(long pause, then both interrupt each other)

 '''Alec''': I don't really like going through this night after night, Chris. I mean it... I shouldn't have to tell these things over and over. You know. You tell a kid things over and over

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': An adult-A man should listen once and know what to do.

 '''Chris''': Yep.

 '''Alec''': Let's see, what else. Uh... Well apparently you... you made a video right before I talked to you cursing Mao. That wasn't good either Chris. I-I mean I don't think I specifically mentioned Mao when I talked to you but I think you should have been able to infer that I don't want you cursing him either. 

 '''Chris''': I see.

 '''Alec''': I used to-

 '''Chris''': But he put-he put-he put up a bunch of dicks on my Cwckipedia yesterday!

 '''Alec''': I used to think that Mao was being too mean with you. I used to kinda sympathize with you about how Mao was being mean to you, but then I realized that, uh, you're a bully and you don't respond to anything but mean things like that. And now I kind of think Mao had the right idea. 'Cause I was trying to be nice to you and all you did was insult me.

 '''Chris''': No, you misunderstand me I am not a bully.

 '''Alec''': Oh, oh you're not? Death threats, that's not-

 '''Chris''': I am not a bully!

 '''Alec''': Oh, oh no, no, of course not. Hacking into my computer, breaking into my house... bullies don't do that, do they? I guess that's technically true, bullies don't do that, hardened criminals do things like that. Which is, you know, worse than a bully. You are a troll, though. That's for certain. 

 '''Chris''': I am not a troll!

 '''Alec''': Oh, bullshit. Bullshit.

 '''Chris''': Although I did... Although I will apologize...

 '''Alec''': Ever since Asperchu appeared you've being doing nothing but trying to shut me down. Just like the trolls that try to shut you down.

 '''Chris''': I see.

 '''Alec''': But you know, but the great Christian Weston Chandler, he's perfect, you know. Nobody can... can attack him or parody him, but if someone else does something that he doesn't like, doesn't matter if its got nothing to do with him... oh, there's gonna be hell to pay. You wanna hack my website, hack my X-Box account, steal some dating game that I don't even have... I don't even need, you know, dating sims by the way... and destroy my console. That's not the work of a bully or a troll at all, now is it?

 '''Chris''': I-I said that the idea was in my head, I never said I would actually to do it.

 '''Alec''': Your idea was in your comic, you put it out there for everyone to read. It-it wasn't just in your head. And hey, I thought, I thought that, uh, comics were real. Comics are just as real as real people, right? So, if you draw it on paper, then it must be the same thing as wanting to act on it in real life, right? Isn't that how that works? You made all of your characters slander me. 

 '''Chris''': Uh, excuse me a moment. Yes? (Chris walks away from the phone and does a horrible impression of his mother) Hey! Hey Christian, listen. I need you to go clean up kitty's poo in the kitchen. Oh, okay mom, I'll take care of it. And let the kitty out, would ya? Sure, I'll be right out there. (Chris comes back to the phone) Uh, yeah, my mom's telling me I've gotta go clean up kitty's poo, I've gotta go, so uh... Is there a number I can call you back at? So I can talk to you later? 

 '''Alec''': Um, I really don't want to give you a number 'cause you troll me on the internet already, you'll probably troll me on the phone if I gave you my contact number. You know, you go ahead... y-you go ahead, I know letting the cat out is hard work and is gonna make you want to sleep 'cause I know your biological clock is, is you know, is all whacked out from all of your stress. 'Cause I know it's stressful trolling me... so.

 '''Chris''': I'm not trolling you. But anyway. Yeah. 

(both interrupt each other for a few seconds)

 '''Alec''': Okay, well, Chris? I-I wanna let you know that, um, that your apology video was not satisfactory, and that you haven't apologized to Evan at all in your comic like I asked you to. So you go ahead and go, and I'll talk to you later. I'll call you when you don't-

 '''Chris''': Well yeah, but by the way-by the way I unblocked your e-mail, so you can send your thoughts in typing as well.

 '''Alec''': Oh. Oh wow. Wow, you know... such a gracious, such a gracious... such a gracious allowance that you made there.

{{Transcription}}

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|Chris and Alec Call 4]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|Chris and Alec Call 6]]|}}

==External Links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?tnyjwhinyym Full Audio of the Call]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=043M89cXAlU The Call on Youtube]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Template:People

2010-02-10T07:44:02Z

Evang: I just noticed my page had this template but with no actual link to it within the template. this isn't an act of egotism i promise

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''---- [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s Web of Life ----'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
'''[[14 Branchland Court|At home]]:'''
[[Bob Chandler]] |
[[Barbara Chandler]] |
[[Patti Chandler]] |
[[Chandler Cats|The Chandler Cats]]

'''[[Chandler Family Tree|Family]]:'''
[[David Alan Chandler]] |
[[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] |
[[Savannah Chandler]] |
[[Cole Smithey]] |
[[Aunt Corrina]] |
[[Daniel Weston]] |
[[Anne Boleyn]]

'''[[Gal-Pals]]:'''
[[Megan Schroeder]] |
[[Anna McLerran]] |
[[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]]

'''Enemies:'''
[[CADD Chef]] |
[[Manajerks]] |
[[Mary Lee Walsh]] |
[[B-Manajerk]] |
[[Bagget]] |
[[Jerkhief]] |
[[ScotPalazzo]] |
[[W-M-Manajerk]] |
[[Wes Iseli]]

'''[[Trolls]]:'''
[[BILLY MAYS]] |
[[Blanca]] |
[[Evan]] |
[[Jay Z]] |
[[Jimmy Hill]] |
[[Julie]] |
[[Jason Kendrick Howell]] |
[[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] |
[[PandaHalo]] |
[[Sarah Jackson]] |
[[Vivian Gee]] |
[[Man in the Pickle Suit]] |
[[Robert Simmons V]] |
[[Sarah May]] |
[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] |
[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] |
[[Clyde Cash]]

'''Other:'''
[[Adam Stackhouse]] |
[[Hanna]] |
[[Michael Snyder|Michael]] |
[[Lucas]] |
[[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] |
[[Bruce Johnson|Principal Bruce Johnson]] |
[[Joseph Herring]] |
[[Lori Lopez]] |
[[Ryan Cash]] |
[[Caitlin]] |
[[Joshua Martinez]] |
[[Kellie Andes]]

|}

<noinclude>[[Category: Templates]]</noinclude>

Things Chris has ripped off

2010-01-29T06:03:24Z

Evang: /* Sonic the Hedgehog */

'''''Attention! This page is under construction! What you see now is a preview of the things to come. You are free to add anything you think is relevant, it will be taken into consideration when the revamping will be finished. For discussion, critique and more info, please see the [[Talk:Things Chris has ripped off|talk page]]. Thank you.'''''

{{Quote|I take it one moment at a time and let the story pieces come to me. Even if they are sometimes borrowed from a tv show or movie.|Chris, [[Mailbag 4#Admission of plagiarism|blatantly admitting to plagiarism]].}}
[[Image:090-CWComicalHug.jpg|thumb|ORIGINAL!]]
As every Chris-chan's [[troll|fan]] is probably aware of, [[Chris-chan|our autistic hero]] has quite the imagination. But some argue that due to [[stress]] and the mental block that is [[autism]], his powerful and mighty artistic ordeals cannot come to fruition. So he just does what every good TV/book/movie writer does: he goes and steals shit from other places.

Now, to his credit, stealing ain't easy. I mean, how the hell do you grab something that comes from another person's mind, adapt it to your own storyline and make it so that it fits in, without having whatever it is that you stole stand out like an obese retard with a red and blue striped T-shirt in the middle of a crowd? Being the [[Fail|geinus]] comic book creator that he is, he does not need to bother with details such as a good plot, readability, or even consistency. Just stick in a few [[random-access humor|random-access-humor]] jokes and you got yourselves a new installment in the "[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comic Book Series]]." Not resembling ''[[Family Guy]]'' at all, right, guys?

According to Chrissy, stealing copyrighted material is fine, as long as you indicate that whatever it is you’re doing is a parody of the original material. In accordance to U.S. copyright law, this is technically true, so this probably means that, unless he decides to make money out of his "artwork," he ain’t gonna have the law knocking on his door. Besides, we all know he is never going to sell any type of merchandise ever, or even [[Monthly tugboat|make a hard earned buck]] for that matter.

Onward with the list of shit he's stolen:

==Main influences==

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
* His pride and glory "[[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]," which, as we all know, is a recolor of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. In his comic book debut he is created when the "[[Perfect Chaos Monster]]" attacks CWCville, which, by the way, is a direct ripoff from the Sonic series.
*His other pride and glory “[[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]” which is in turn another recolor from the character “[[Amy Rose|Amy]]” from the “Sonic the Hedgehog” cartoon series.
*Of course, Sonichu’s evil twin brother “[[Blake]]” also comes from the same line of original creativity Chris has got us accustomed to. This [[niggos|nigger]] version of Sonichu is a complete rip-off from the character “Shadow the Hedgehog”. His creation is partially inspired from the "Pokemon" movie in which the character “Mewtwo” is created from the DNA from “Mew” with an evil twist.
* The “Chaotic Combo” is a mesh of ''Sonic'' characters recolored with retarded deformities. Like Angelica being a white hedgehog that has wings, or Punchy Sonichu being an AZN version of “Knuckles the Echidna”.
''For more info, see the [[Sonic the Hedgehog#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Pokemon===
* Like the previously mentioned Sonichu and Rosechu characters ripping off Sonic the Hedgehog, they also rip off various [[Pokemon]], mostly Pikachus and Raichus, combined with other Pokemon-types.
* The character [[Jiggliami]] is a humanoid variation of a Jigglypuff.
* The so-called [[Sonichu Balls]] are designed off of various Pokeballs, though they also function like other items.
''For more info, see the [[Pokemon#Plagiarism|main article]].''

==Anime==

===Digimon===
{{incomplete}}
*[[Silvana|Silvana's]] origin is very similar to Gatomon's, as both were long separated from their kind and raised by evil villains who made them into their minions. The only difference being that Silvana was given a [[Pickle|penis]].

===Dragonball/Z/GT===
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]'s famed attack, the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] (later Shin-ye-ha-me-ha), is based off of the famed super attack known as the Kamehameha.
* The Sonichu Balls, though resembling Pokeballs, are said to function more like the titular Dragonballs, as they are able to grant a wish when all are brought together.
* Ultra Sonichu, which shares an amazing resemblance to super saiyan warriors, you know, flying sky high and kicking ass and all.

===Excel Saga===
* A veritable hellstorm of shameless rips from this series appear in the Sonichu comics, in a way nearly as pervasive as Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog, yet comparatively subtler because he steals one-liners and monologues more than characters or storylines.
* ...although he does indeed steal characters (like Mypoe and Nabeshin and [[Bagget|the Jerkop Daitenzen]]) from time to time.
''For more info, see the [[Excel Saga#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Gurren Lagann===
{{incomplete}}

*The character of [[Simonla Rosechu]] is a ripoff of a "fanmade" Sonichu named Simonchu who, in turn, is ripped off from the main character of the series, Simon the Digger.

===Inuyasha===
* In [[Issue 2]], Sarah's Sonichu form pins Wes's Sonichu form to a tree, Wes making the statement "Where did this non-sacred tree come from?" This is a "hilarious gag" is referring to Inuyasha's origin story, wherein he was pinned by an arrow to a cursed tree by priestess/crack shot/vengeful ex-girlfriend Kikyo. Also, with some imagination and enough alcohol, one can see that a cloud in the background in one of the panels is shaped vaguely like Inuyasha's head.

===Pretty Cure===
{{quote|"This is so "Pretty Cure"! I'M BACK!"|[[Chris-chan Sonichu]], [[Sonichu #4]]}}

*Pretty Cure, unlike [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], is a true [[parody]] that purposefully spoofs the ridiculous costumes, magical schoolgirls, and attack names of other anime series. The [[Chrs-Chan_Pure_Pulse-Jolt_Lance|Chris-Chan Pure Pulse Jolt Lance]] (the attack that [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] are able to perform with their combined [[fail|Hedgehog]] powers) is stolen from this series, and even though it's original counterpart was given a ridiculous name, Chris felt the need to make it sound like some idiot had just mashed some random words into an attack name for his own version. Oh wait...

*Also noteworthy is that Chris copied (and butchered) the pre-attack catch phases and attack poses. (Most of these rip-offs occur in [[Sonichu #4]] and [[Sonichu #5]])

===Puni Puni Poemy===
{{incomplete}}

===Sailor Moon===
* [[Sailor Megtune]], Chris's hideously inappropriate SI Mary Sue for [[Megan]], is based off of the various heroines from the series, though the name is based off of Sailor Neptune.
* The [[Dark Mirror Hole]] may be a reference to a number of related Sailor Moon places/items, including the Black Dream Hole of the Sailor Moon Super S movie (the actual place), and a mirror-like item from Sailor Moon Stars
''For more info, see the [[Sailor Moon#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Yu-Gi-Oh!===
* [[Sarah Hammer]]'s husband-to-be is depicted as Jack's Knight, a Yu-Gi-Oh! monster, because Chris had no idea what the groom looked like and didn't bother to check. Way to go!
* Chris tends to use various Yu-Gi-Oh terms during his battles ("Trap cards"? Seriously?) and is even depicted using a Duel Disk when dealing with [[Wes Iseli]].
''For more info, see the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Yuu Yuu Hakusho===
* In [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]], Chris mentions the use of a "Curse Shot", fired in the same way main character Yuusuke Urameshi would fire his main attack, the Rei Gun.

==Western Animation==
===The Adventures of The American Rabbit===
* There Chris ripped many concepts for his [[Love Quest]] and lines from that movie are used in the comics ("Thanks, I will father" from the cover [[Sonichu 0]] is a line uttered by Robert Rabbit).
''For more info, see the [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Aqua Teen Hunger Force===
{{incomplete}}
''For more info, see the [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Beavis and Butt-head===
*Beavis and Butt-head appear in the Time Travel episode in a gag directly stolen from the original cartoon series (although Chris [[Chris and copyright|said "Sorry"]] to Mike Judge).
''For more info, see the [[Beavis and Butt-head#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Darkwing Duck===
* [[Darkbind Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of this series' main character – Darkwing Duck.
* The font Chris uses to write "Darkbind" is traced from the show's logo.
* Upon arriving, Darkbind recites a completely bastardised version of Darkwing Duck's trademark entrance speeches. The main change is that the original speeches were filled with tongue-in-cheek irony, while Chris's version is completely serious and unnecessarily pompous.
* Chris calls Darkbind "D.B.", reminiscent of how Darkwing Duck's sidekick Launchpad McQuack calls him "D.W."
* [[Princess Zelina Rosechu]] may be a partial ripoff of Darkwing Duck's girlfriend Morgana McCawber (though this theory is debatable).

===Ed, Edd and Eddy===
*In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris added a huge wall of [[Random-access humor]], including a joke from the episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]: "Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?", originally said by Ed.

===Family Guy===
* In [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], Chris meets [[Sammy]], who resembles Peter Griffin, whom goes through a series of incidents involving a sequence from Filmation's [[Ghostbusters]].
''For more info, see the [[Family Guy#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Ghostbusters (Filmation's)===
* Chris's Family-Guy-style gag rips from The Non-Real Ghostbusters created by Filmation.
''For more info, see the [[Ghostbusters#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===He-Man===
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.5 (preview)]]: [[Beel]] exclaims: "I have the power!" after stealing Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]].

===Home Movies===
*[[Officer Keino]]'s appearance is ripped straight from Coach McGuirk.
*The end of the [[Giant Penis Comic]] special contains gags from the show.

===Inspector Gadget===
*[[Darkbind Sonichu]]'s nemesis, [[Clawdorf]], is (possibly) based on Inspector Gadget's nemesis Dr.Claw, who was also most of the time seen as a dark silhouette. If it's true, it is especially strange, as [[Darkbind]] is based on Darkwing Duck, not Inspector Gadget.

===Peanuts===
[[Image:119-PeanutsCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Need I say more?]]

===Ren and Stimpy===
*Sub-episode 6 rips off the Ren & Stimpy Episode "Lair of the Lummox," which Chris even acknowledges (with Ren & Stimpy thinly veiled as "Ben & Stumpy")

*At the end of episode 17, there is an advert for "Knothole"; and boasted as being from the creators of "Log".

===Samurai Pizza Cats===
*In the aforementioned [[random-access humor]] [[ED]] edit, Chris quoted a joke from the US-dubbed version of SPC: "Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED".

===Sealab 2021===
*In the same [[ED]] edit, Chris included a joke from the Sealab 2021 episode "Legend of Baggy Pants": "What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they need a dentist.".

===Smurfs===
*[[Wild Sonichu]] seems to be "inspired" by the character of [http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Wild_Smurf Wild Smurf]. Both live in treehouses. Both swing from vines (however, Wild Sonichu's vines swinging comes from ripping off of Spider-Man). Both were raised by wild animals. Honestly, the only difference between the two is that Wild Sonichu can actually talk (Wild Smurf communicated in chipmunk sounds more than anything else).

===South Park===
{{incomplete}}
''For more info, see the [[South Park#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Transformers===
* [[Optimus Prime]] mercilessly killing Decepticon spy [[Sarah Jackson]].
* Various Transformer-types are set to appear in [[Sonichu 9]] Episode 20.
''For more info, see the [[Transformers#Plagiarism|main article]].''

==Movies and TV Shows==

===Gilligan's Island===
* Thurston Howell III and his wife make an appearance in [[Sonichu 8]], hinting at the name of the head of [[4-Cent Garbage]].
{{incomplete}}

===Monty Python===
{{incomplete}}
*
*
*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.8]]: An impromptu "comedic" sequence making "fun" of [[Jimmy Hill]] starts with "And now for something completely different...", contains a collage of photos and drawings reminiscent of Terry Gilliam's artistic experiments, and features a porcupine shouting: "Dinsdale!".
''For more info, see the [[Monty Python#Plagiarism|main article]].''

===Pink Panther===
{{incomplete}}

===Spaceballs===
* In the [[Episode 8]] fight between [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Chris-Chan Sonichu gets his tail singed by a fire blast then exclaims, "You burned my tail! Now it's personal!" before going on the offensive. This is very similar to the scene in the movie [[wikipedia:Spaceballs|"Spaceballs"]] where gun-hating Princess Vespa gets her hair singed by a laser in a firefight and exclaims, "You shot my hair! You son of a bitch!" then proceeds to singlehandedly mow down the attacking Spaceballs with a laser rifle.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYgQXWxJfZE#t=7m44s (''Relevant portion from 7:44 to 8:01'')</ref> While the words aren't identical, he reads the lines with the same cadence and inflection as Vespa's in his [[Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode_8|Official Videobook]] clip.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42EOCbTSJOI#t=8m06s (''Relevant portion from 8:06 to 8:12'')</ref>

===Troll 1 & 2===
{{incomplete}}

===Carrie===
* Chris's [[The High School Story]] is an amalgamation of Stephen King's Carrie, and Chris' own high school experience. Its main character, Terrah, is bullied and under appreciated, so she kills everyone with her psychic powers. It is safe to assume that Chris saw the movie adaptation of Carrie, and not the book, as it is unimaginable that Chris would ever spend his time on a book without illustrations.

===Power Rangers===
*In [[Sonichu 9]], the CWC-Power Rangers are introduced, but never seen with the sole exception of Kart Megazord.

===Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III===
*In page 28 of [[Sonichu 1]], Sonic is quoted saying "Eh... you were expecting maybe, Bugs Bunny?" a direct 'reference' to a line said by one of the non-yawning Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the third movie. The original line was 'Eh... you were expecting maybe, The Addams Family?" It is ironic in this case that of all the lines Chris-Chan could have possibly chosen from the movie, he went ahead to choose one of the most awful, face-palming, gut-wrenchingly bad line, and proceeded to MAKE IT WORSE. Congratulations.

==Video Games==

===Banjo Kazooie===

*[[Flame]] the Sunbird is just a very poor drawing of Kazooie who seems to want pants for some reason that no rational person can fathom. Any who enjoyed this game can only thank [[Godjesus]] that Chris doesn't seem to realize that Kazooie is a [[gal-pal|girl]].

*In [[Sonichu 9]], [[Sonichu]]'s battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] is ripped directly from the final boss fight with Gruntilda. The only differences are that the fireballs are replaced with dark energy and Mary does not fall to her death.

===Legend Of Zelda===
{{incomplete}}
*The characters [[Darkbind Sonichu]] and [[Zelina Rosechu]] are rip-offs of Link and Zelda, the two main characters from the series, alongside being rip-offs of elements from the cartoon series Darkwing Duck, strangely enough.

*It's not clear if he's a fan of the series, since while he's compared one of his favorite games ([[Brutal Legend]]) to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, it's likely he simply saw the game was the highest ranking game on GameRankings and other game scoring websites.

===Mobile Suit Gundam===
*During the [[Megan]] Saga, Chris drew box art for [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]], one of Chris's many fake box arts for his imaginary games. What's unique about this one is that it involves Megan Schroeder and her brother, John. Despite being about Megan, it is not a rape simulator, but instead believed to be a ripoff of Mobile Suit Gundam: Journey to Jaburo.

===Street Fighter===
* [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]'s attack "Hyper Beam" looks a lot like Ryu and Ken's special attack "Hadouken". It appears in:
:*
:*
:* [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.7]]
*In [[Sonichu 9]], Sonichu performs a Flash Kick on Slaweel.
*In [[Sonichu Special 4]], [[Kacey]]'s father resembles Guile.

===Super Mario Bros===
{{incomplete}}
*While ripping off one of Nintendo's biggest franchises and having affinity for Shigeru Miyamato, Chris doesn't have much interest in the Super Mario series. Due to the lack of furry material, the games (at least the later ones) focus on puzzle solving and exploration and the fact at one time Mario was the rival of Sonic, that's not a surprise. However, the wing cap ability from Super Mario 64 was used in Sub-Episode 4.

==Western Comics==

===Spider-Man===
*[[Wild Sonichu]] is a partial ripoff of Spider-Man, a superhero who can shoot long web strings from his hands. He uses these web ropes to swing across the city and entangle his enemies. Also, the scene in the end of Episode 19 ([[Sonichu 9]]) is highly reminiscent of the Spider-Man movie.

===Superman===
{{incomplete}}

==List of fiction Chris has referenced and otherwise bastardised==
While Chris's [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] is chock full of shameless ripoffs and copyright infringements, there are some references to works of fiction which can't be actually considered "ripping off", but manage to ruin the franchise in question nevertheless, for the sole fact of being referenced in [[Sonichu]]. These are mostly instances of Chris either including a minor reference to a work of fiction, or just mentioning it, in his comics. While it's not considered a crime ''de jure'', it still may be called a crime against humanity, whose culture Chris has thusly bastardised.
''Note that when such minor references concern works or franchises already listed in the main ripoff list above, they're added there, not here. It was done so that it would be easier to see how much has Chris managed to bastardise each franchise.''
*'''[[Wikipedia:Batman|Batman]]:''' [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|S8 Ep17 p.35]]: Batman's portrait is hanging on the wall of the [[CWCville Mayoral Office]] for some completely mysterious reason.
*'''[[Bugs Bunny]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 1#Episode 6|S1 Ep6 p.28]]: [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] says to the startled [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr.Robotnik]]: "Eh... You were expecting, maybe Bugs Bunny?"
:*[[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.8]]: Bugs himself appears in the Monty Python-esque collage, lecturing the toothless photograph of [[Jimmy Hill]] (who was implied to have sold counterfeit Warner Bros. merchandise in the past) on the evils of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]].
*'''[[Wikipedia:Dig Dug|Dig Dug]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|S9 Ep19 p.12]]: [[Simonla]]'s screen name is "DigDugette416".
:*Later, on [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|S9 Ep19 p.17]], [[Layla]] jokes that Simonla only needs a pump to "fully dig the dug", whatever that means.
*'''[[Wikipedia:Fight Club (film)|Fight Club]] and [[Wikipedia:Chuck Palahniuk|Chuck Palahniuk]]:'''
:*[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|S1 SE2 p.S-4]]: [[Hanna]] tells Chris that she likes reading books by "Chuck Pala[[duck]]" (sic), who is also (according to Chris's footnote) "[[Fail|the director]] of the movie "Fight Club" (well, maybe he believes that [[Wikipedia:David Fincher|David Fincher]] is just Chuck's alternate personality?)... Yes, "Chuck Pala'''[[duck]]'''".
:*If Chris has actually <strike>read the book</strike> seen the movie, it may be the influence behind [[30 August 2009|"Christopher"]].
*'''[[Wikipedia:Grand Theft Auto|Grand Theft Auto]]:''' [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.1 (preview)]]: [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] orders: "[[Beel]]! Prepare for Grand Theft [[Medallion of Fail|Medal]]!"
*'''[[Guitar Hero]]:'''
{{incomplete}}
*'''[[LittleBigPlanet]]:''' [[Sonichu 10#Preview|S10 Ep21 p.1 (preview)]]: For no reason at all, Sackboy appears at the bottom of the page and recites an anti-pirate advertisement for "LittleBigPlanet" and Chris's [[LittleBigPlanet videos#Sonichu Episode 1 LittleBIGPlanet Level|Level of Fail]].
*'''[[R.L.Stine]]:'''
{{incomplete}}
*'''[[Sprung]]:''' [[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2|S1 SE2 p.S-5]]: Chris is shown playing "Sprung" on his [[Nintendo DS]] for dating tips before going on a date with [[Hanna]]. He reads the infamous "So, do angels have names?" compliment and notes that it "sounds right".
*'''[[Wikipedia:B-Daman|B-Daman]]:''' [[Sonichu 1#Episode6|S1 Ep6 p.32]]: Sonic curls up into a ball and enters a pocket of whatever in Sonichu's stomach, upon which Sonichu fires him out at Metal Sonichu which also is the form of a ball. At first, this looks like a reference to balls, but upon closer inspection, it seems to be a ripoff of the Japanese Anime and Toy series B-Daman, which involves small cute robot-like characters firing balls out of their stomachs at other balls.

==References==
<references />

==See also:==
*[[Chris and copyright]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Articles needing improvement]]

File:Sweet alec & hella evan.jpg

2010-01-27T04:45:31Z

Evang: uploaded a new version of "File:Sweet alec & hella evan.jpg": whoops my bad

Hug time.

File:Sweet alec & hella evan.jpg

2010-01-27T04:45:10Z

Evang: uploaded a new version of "File:Sweet alec & hella evan.jpg": larger version

Hug time.

File:Sweet alec & hella evan.jpg

2010-01-27T04:44:52Z

Evang: uploaded a new version of "File:Sweet alec & hella evan.jpg": larger version

Hug time.

Simonla Rosechu

2010-01-26T20:47:29Z

Evang:

[[Simonla Rosechu]] (aka '''Simonla''') is an orange <strike>Sonic recolor</strike> [[Rosechu (species)|rosechu]] who can turn her arms into drills and dig underground. She also has a drill at the end of her tail.

Originally a [[troll|fan]] character submitted by Evan named '''Simonchu''', [[Chris]] instead added breasts and a [[china]] and turned it into Simonla so he'd have something to [[mass debating|masturbate]] to.

Evan told Chris he got his drills from being raised by Beedrill, though any bona fide weeaboo knows the drills and the name come from Simon the Driller, from ''[[Wikipedia:Gurren Lagann|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]''.

Her actual character biography is basically non-existent. While the members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] all have their own retarded little backstories to explain where they came from and what they're doing together, Simonla just shows up one day, ready to strip naked and present backdrops. Where she's been and why she never helped with all the crazy shit that happens in [[CWCville]] is never addressed. At all.

[[Evan]] eventually clears it up in his Simonchu comic: Simonla is a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|female clone]] of Simonchu, sent back in time to befriend the other Electric Hedgehogs so that Chris can prove [[Wild]] is STRAIGHT to the trolls in order to cover up [[Asperchu|Alec's SLANDEROUS portrayals]]. This explains, somewhat, Chris's constant references to Simonla and Simonchu being siblings, though it may be more accurate to consider Simonla a daughter to Simonchu. [[lie|Chris is sure to integrate this creative and interesting plot twist into his own comic immediately, just as he expects other people to change their comics to match his ideas]].

==Development==
[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|Before...]]
On 26 August 2008, Evan posted on his [[DeviantArt]] account:<ref>http://evang-y.deviantart.com/art/Simonchu-96132351</ref>

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
My Sonichu fancharacter.

Simonchu
Age: 14
Ground/Electric

Simonchu was originally a Pikachu, raised by a swarm of Beedrill. However, when Perfect Chaos attacked Station Square, the Pikachu and Beedrills watched from a nearby forest. In the middle of the battle a flash of pure Chaos energy was released, killing all the Beedrills. The Pikachu, however, was able to absorb the Chaos energy and use it to evolve. Depressed due to his parents' demise, Simonchu took his parents' drills and dug deep underground, leaving no one in CWCville to know of this unique Sonichu and his awesome powers.

until today...

...
[[Image:Simonla.jpg|thumb|...and after. Chris has the reverse Midas touch - everything he touches turns to shit.]]

Now I really must send it to him and hope he includes Simonchu in another issue. He is JUST bad enough to fit into Sonichu. </div>

Three months later, Chris did use the character, as he had wanted to create a ground-type Sonichu or Rosechu character. He could have used Simonchu, as he had Evan's permission to, but, feeling that he had enough Sonichu characters (or, more likely, needing material to [[mass debating|mass debate]] to), he decided to turn Simonchu into Simonla (playing off Simone, the feminine form of Simon), because to Chris, tits = better. Chris-chan also misinterpreted the cloak Simonchu wore as some sort of shell, judging by Simonla's line, "My shell is removable!"

Chris has claimed on Simonla's CWCipedia page that in Episode 20 he will introduce Simonchu as a ground (and only ground) type. [[Lie|He never showed up.]]

===Forced Romance===

{{Quote|plus pairing Simonla with Wild as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract."|Chris, [[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails?|completely failing to explain anything]].}}

In [[Sonichu 9|Episode 19]], Simonla attends the [[Dating education|dating classes]] and is eventually paired up with [[Wild Sonichu]]. Chris-chan had previously revealed this to Evan in the ancient Sonichu IRC chatroom, but it ended up creating one of the most horrific pages in Sonichu history.

===Evan's Response===

In late [[December 2009]], [[Evan]] [[Mailbag 22#Evan: back with a vengeance|e-mailed Chris]], accusing him of lying about the resolution Chris claimed to have worked out with him. Chris [[Rejected Mailbag#Let Me Get Back To You On That|ignored]] this e-mail.
Four mailbags later, Evan [[Mailbag 26#It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them|once again]] petitioned Chris, this time saying Chris was stealing his character. Evan politely asked Chris to kill Simonla in the comic, yet Chris responded by saying that he could not write out Simonla, as she was [[Wild]]'s girlfriend, and that he shouldn't be a monster for wanting to do so.

Evan [[Mailbag 35|tried again]], tired of it all, where Chris pointedly refused once more. Disillusioned with Chris, Evan allowed [[Asperchu|the creator of ''Asperchu'', Alec Benson Leary]], to feature Simonchu as one of Sonichu's friends. Whilst Simonchu is portrayed as a homosexual in the comic, [[Mailbag 40#Simonchu_swings_both_ways|Evan confirmed in an e-mail to Chris that Simonchu is bisexual]], and that Alec treated the character with far more respect than changing his gender without permission. Chris still persists with his refusal, on the grounds that depriving Wild of his girlfriend would be awful.

Evan would ask Chris to remove Simonla once again in [[Mailbag 43]]. Chris responded with one of his most bizarre and megalomanical statements yet, explaining that Simonla "didn't want" to leave CWCville, and that Evan himself "moves on" under the influence of [[Chris and his ego|Chris' Directorial Powers.]] Chris would later claim that Simonla should be considered an original character, since Chris could have, theoretically, come up with the concept on his own, with the fact that he actually based her on Simonchu's design more or less a coincidence:

{{quote|...IF I start with a Normal Rosechu, give her ground and dirt for skin, add some Drills, Natural Second Transparent Eyelids, an Armadillo Shell with a Drill Spot for a Marking on the front, and Construction Shoes, DOES NOT MEAN AT ALL of YOUR story of "Re-Modifying Simonchu with a Vagina"; THE TWO ARE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS, so do us all a favor and QUIT B****ING AND STRESSING YOURSELF TO YOUR OWN PREMATURE DEATH.|Chris, [[Mailbag 44]].}}

TL;DR Pointless, throwaway relationships = Rights to use a fan character, in Chris's mind.

==Simonla the [[Pedofork]]==

In the Dating Education episode, we see Simonla outside Cwcville U talking to [[Zapina]], the 14-year-old girl who wants to strip despite those "dumb child protection Laws" Chris and the Sonichu gang hate so much. Zapina refers to Simonla as "her best friend", which is creepy enough, before Simonla instructs her to get a "16-year-old boy".

One can only wonder why she would do such a thing, when any woman in her right mind would tell her to focus on her studies and hang out with friends her own age before worrying about boys, especially one two years older when she's clearly underage!

==Simonla the corpse==
In a shocking turn of events, Simonla appears to have met an untimely death.

Visiting her old friends in the pages of Simonchu's sister strip [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]], Simonla attempted to deliver a surprise hello to [[Bill the Scientist]], neglecting to take into account his crippling fear of knights. Bill flew into a blind rage and beat Simonla into a coma with his trusty mace. Subsequently, following the dictates of her living will, Bill and [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]] loaded Simonla's unresponsive body into a rocket and shot it into the sun.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:SimonlaThePedofork.jpg|Chris subtly lets slip his pedofork tendencies through Simonla
Image:SchuComic10P20.jpg|this is God punishing Evan for sending him those e-mails.
Image:Simonlaemailqf7.png|The e-mail confirming Simonla's appearance.
Image:SimonlaOriginalDesign.jpg|Chris's original design of Simonla.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

*[[Evan]]
*The TRUE, HONEST and PICKLE-HAVING Advenures of Simonchu and Niachu: [http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Magi-Chan

2010-01-26T20:32:41Z

Evang:

[[Image:SchuMagichan1.jpg|thumb|Magi-Chan Sonichu as he appears in [[Sonichu 3]]]]
'''Magi-Chan''' is a [[Sonichu (species)|sonichu]], and a member of the [[Chaotic Combo]]. He is <s>ambiguously</s> most definitely [[gay]] (his name is Magi-CHAN, Chan being an affectionate Japanese term for girls, thus proving his sexuality) & emo. He's the serious know-it-all and the only character not interested in finding a [[sweetheart]]. He's also one of the major sources of ''deus ex machina'' in the comic, and by far the character most often depicted as just a floating head.

Magi-chan is probably the only sympathetic character in the whole series, due to his sarcastic and often serious mood unintentionally making him seem intolerant of Sonichu and Chris's bullshit, and the homosexual undertones in his character. He also remains girlfriend-free the longest of all the characters, and only complains about it when Sonichu pretty much shoves the fact that he's going to be fucking his girlfriend all night.

==Overview==
Magi-Chan exists in this weird nebulous reality where, because he's supposed to be the smartest being alive, he's actually more intelligent than the [[Christian Weston Chandler|creator of his own universe]]. So his is the experience of spending the entirety of his life enraged at the blatant retardation of the people and the world around him, and yet being completely unable to express it. He's keenly aware of how meaningless a character he is, and how quickly he could be tossed to the side, written off, or killed offscreen, never to be mentioned again. His only hope is that one day he will transcend the boundaries of Chris's terrible narrative and he'll evolve into a being unrestrained by the comic's conventions. An avatar for pure hatred. [[CWCville]] will be consumed by fire. But fear that day, my friends, because once he is done with his universe, he will move on to ours. And that will be a dark day indeed.

Magi-Chan is perhaps the most useless in Chris's canon of useless characters, rivalled only by [[Lolisa Rosechu]]. Despite being essentially omnipotent, he does little more than enable everybody else to do something by filling them in on all the exposition and teleporting them where they need to go, rather than Chris waste his valuable time by (gasp!) building the world and building up suspense!

It is an open secret that Magi-chan is the real father of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Christine]].

He is a combination of 4 characters, [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Pikachu]], [[Pokémon|Mewtwo]] and [[Homos|Tinky-Winky]].

==[[Sonichu_3#Episode_10:_.22Sonichu_Babies.22|Sonichu Babies]]==
[[Image:SchuMagiSonee.jpg|100 px|thumb|right|Magi-Chan as a Sonee]]
Magi-Chan's egg lands in a secluded cave in the cliffs surrounding CWCville. Upon hatching he is spoken to via telepathy by either a Mew or a Mewtwo - Chris's crappy drawings make it unclear. Anyhoo, this psychic what-the-fuck trains Magi-Chan [[Sonee]] to use his psychic abilities until he evolves in meditation one day. The first thing he does whilst in his new form is crack one off.
Yes - Magi-Chan, the emo / goth, stoic and serious character, farts. Classy.

==[[Sonichu_3#Episode_11:_The_Chaotic_Combo_in_.22When_Hedgehogs_Meet.22|When Hedgehogs Meet]]==
Magi-Chan stands over CWCville, his all-knowing mind seeing the impending fight against [[Blake]]. He sighs, heads on over where he meets the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members and seems to set himself up as the Leader within moments. The others seemed to accept this rather than asking ''"Who the fuck are you, you big purple fag?"'' Then they all beat up [[Blake]] to the point that his head is bleeding all over the grass.

==[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Shattered_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Shattered Hearts & Entrapment]]==
Magi-Chan and the other [[Chaotic Combo]] members are teleported into action by [[Chris]]. That's about it. The entire Chaotic Combo and [[Sonichu_(character)|Sonichu]] never fight or have any real dialogue in this issue. So what was the point in them even appearing?

==[[Sonichu 6]]==
While everyone is pretending to worry about [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(character)|Crystal]], Chris and Magi-Chan try to figure out how to free her. Magi-Chan gives a bullshit theory about how the Sonichu Balls could break the dark mirror.

Then [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] attacks and [[Chris]] orders Magi-Chan and [[Sonichu]] to investigate with him. Magi-Chan does practically nothing from there on other than stopping Sonichu from starring in his own comic for a few seconds.

==[[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Time Hogs]]==
For no reason Magi-Chan, along with Chris and Sonichu, begins the hunt for the seven Sonichu Balls at the [[Manchester High School]] Gymnasium. Magi-Chan gives some made-up theory about how the Sonichu Balls can be scattered through time. He then realizes that Chris came in contact with the ball back in [[1996]] and the three go back in time to retrieve it. On the way back Chris gets lost in a time void and Magi-Chan explains the he will return eventually. Sonichu shows no real interest in his father's plight and makes a few sleazy sex references before leaving for his date with [[Rosechu]].

==[[Sonichu_8#Episode_18:_.22Spring_Break.2C_2008.22|Spring Break]]==
[[Image:MagiChanisGay.JPG|250 px|thumb|right|Precise and accurate.]]
Magi-Chan, being too lazy to do the task himself, explains to [[Bubbles]] that he has found a [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]], and tells her to go get it. He also tries to warn her of [[Silvana|Silvana's]] trap but Bubbles doesn't believe him despite the fact that Magi-Chan knows fucking everything. Eventually [[Jiggliami]] calls her and tells her that she found [[Blake]] unconscious and the two girls begin their fight. After Silvana leaves, Bubbles asks Magi-chan to teleport her to Blake.

==[[Sonichu 9#Episode_19|Dating ED]]==
Magi-Chan never appears in this episode, strengthening the theory that because he is gay, he will never be happy and paired up.

==[[Episode_20#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]]==
Alone among Chris's major characters, Magi-Chan has shown no romantic interest for any other character in the comic book. In [[Episode 20]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic9P65.jpg page 65], Magi-Chan told the hermaphrodite [[Silvana]] that he was deceived by her "[[China|feminine charms]]." He pleads with her to stop working with [[Count Graduon]] and insists that he can restore her "birth gender." So Magi-Chan will one day cut her [[duck|dick]] off and fall in love with her.

After his exchange with Silvana, Magi-Chan disappears from episode 20 almost entirely. He plays no significant role in the plot until the epilogue, where he shows up to provide a handy deus ex machina and randomly pull Chris out of the Time Void.

==Mental illness==
[[Image:Magichan talking bollocks.png|thumb|right|400px|An example of Magi-chan's recent unintelligible speech and mental confusion.]]
Recently, Magi-Chan has shown some signs of mental confusion, severe depression and aggression towards the [[Chaotic Combo]]. For much of issue 10 he appears confused and disorientated, and most of his speech is unintelligible. He talks to himself, and at one point reduces himself to tears. This raises fears that he is suffering from some kind of mental illness or deterioration such as Alzheimer's disease or cerebral palsy. It is possible that his unusually powerful intelligence is the result of some birth defect which is now causing him problems; he will need to be observed in the coming months to see if the deterioration continues or if he develops spasticity.

==Outside of the comics==
Magi-Chan is one of the more popular characters with the trolls due to his arguably homosexual tendencies. As such he is mentioned in Chris's [[Mailbag|Mailbags]] quite frequently. This has caused a few new facts about the character to surface, notably that [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|he is aware of any sex act]] that happens to occur within [[CWCville]] city limit and inform Chris if it doesn't fit his [[Homos|puritanical ideals]]. That's not creepy or anything.

==Evidence that Magi-Chan is a [[Homos|homo]]==
*"Chan" is an affectionate term used to address girls in Japan.
*The only girl he's remotely interested in is the [[Silvana|chick with the dick]].
*According to [[Mailbag 31|Mailbag 31]], Magi-Chan uses his psychic powers to actually go ''looking'' for people having gay sex.
*He's fucking purple.
*He teleported for Wild but refused to teleport for his friends in general.
*Chris made him.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|Magi-Chan is too cool to smile.
Image:Magichan scowling.jpg
Image:Magichan bubble.jpg
Image:281-MagiChan.jpg|THIS IS MY ANGRY FACE
Image:MagiChanFarts.JPG|Magi-chan hard at work.
Image:280-YuMagi.jpg
Image:Magichanmausterbate.jpg‎|[[Mailbag 31|Magi-Chan Sonichu is watching you masturbate.]]
</gallery>
</center>

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Plot Devices]]

Asperchu

2010-01-24T07:17:50Z

Evang: /* Chris on Asperchu */

{{Ongoing}}
''This article discusses the award winning comic series '''Asperchu''' and its relationship with Chris. For information about the Asperchu series itself, please see [[Fan:Asperchu]].''

'''Asperchu''' is a popular award winning comic series created by Alec Benson Leary. His deft artwork, gripping stories, and excellent characterization has resulted in the series gaining hundreds of fans in the few short months since its inception. Many of these fans were disenfranchised followers of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], which have recently become exponentially more disturbing.

==Similarities to Chris==
While Alec has stated that [[Mailbag 32#Parodies|Asperchu is not a Parody]] of [[Chris]], there are many similarities between the two. Both of them are [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[naïve]] individuals who find themselves somewhat out of place in the world. They both address the masses through [[List of Videos|youtube videos]], and both are preoccupied with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a [[sweetheart]].

These similarities between the two characters has resulted in no shortage of [[Chris and Anger|rage]] from Chris. He seems to feel that the only reason Asperchu exists is to poke fun at him. He also takes serious offense at the idea of a Sonichu who suffers from [[Aspergers]], for some reason.

==Chris on Asperchu==
[[Image:Asperchu-and-sonichu-meet.jpg|thumb|The first drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
[[Image:Aspergchulove.jpg|thumb|The second drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
It's no secret that Chris hates [[Aspergers]] (and presumably everybody that suffers from it), due to some misguided sense of competition between Aspergers syndrome and other disorders on the [[autism]] spectrum. The knowledge that someone had created a series about an Electric Hedgehog Pokemon who suffered from the affliction did not sit well with him. He became even worse when the creator of the series himself started sending him e-mails.

The [[Mailbag 10#Meet Asperchu|first recorded communication]] we have between Alec and Chris implies that Alec had been in contact with him multiple times outside of the public view and that Chris had responded to these communications negatively. Chris didn't respond any better on his public [[mailbag]], claiming that Alec was jealous of him and alleging that the included fanart of Asperchu and Sonichu implied homosexuality.

Upset that Chris would jump to such conclusions, Alec [[Mailbag 17#Sonichu loves Asperchu no homo|sent him another letter]], depicting Sonichu and Asperchu having good, masculine straight fun. This letter was even more poorly received.

Undaunted, Alec continued to send letters to Chris's mailbag, thinking that perhaps the man he respected so much really just misunderstood him. A few of these letters were [[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|ignored]], some were [[Mailbag 28#Hey kids, it's Asperchu!|coldly dismissed]], but Chris's most [[Mailbag 31#Asperchu is the shit|notable]] [[Mailbag 32#Parodies|responses]] were were explosive outbursts of [[Chris and Anger|anger]] and hatred.

Recently Chris has been [[Mailbag 34#Asperpedia!|outright deleting]], or [[Mailbag 35#No comment|refusing to respond]] to Alec's correspondence. Given what just happened to the CWCipedia's mainpage (and the [[Mailbag 38|increasing]] [[Mailbag 39|amount]] of fanmail from people disenchanted with Sonichu [[Sonichu 10|for many reasons]] deciding to stop following Sonichu and start following Asperchu) it shouldn't be long before Chris is driven to make even more enraged public screeds.

In Asperchu Issue C (or 0C), [[Chris]] made an appearance asking for help from the characters to save Asperchu. Later, he and [[Liquid Chris|CChanSonichuCWC]] met up with each other, leading to a standoff where Chris tried to shoot him. Chris [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|responded]] to the comic, mentioning that he was set on fire in the comic. [[Fail|He didn't seem to notice that he was also called by the name Ian Brandon Anderson, nor did he notice the appearance of Liquid Chris.]]

Since the Asperchu saga started really taking off, Chris's schedule for [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]] has [[stress|dropped drastically]].

Beyond this, Chris made clear that he also hates the comic because of its "uncensored pictures" and "low resolution and blocky pictures". Here, we see Chris's [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in action. The "uncensored pictures" he's all up in arms over are just minor posters hung up mostly in Asperchu's room and even so, they are mostly hidden away by the character's heads. Chris's "uncensored pictures" are done by the main characters in full view, despite the fact that Sonichu is supposed to be a ''kid's comic''. As for the "low resolution and blocky pictures", the artwork is done through a art program (presumably Photoshop, if one of Alec's correspondences to Chris is correct), thus it does seem a bit blocky. Of course, compared to Chris's [[Chris and Art|art]], it's the fucking Mona Lisa. It also helps that Alec is humble and doesn't try to act like his artwork is amazing and worthy of being hung in a museum.

==Asperpedia==
[[Image:Mao Bamboo Ling.JPG||thumb|Mao, rockin' sunglasses]]
[[Image:Haitihelp.JPG|thumb|Clearly Asperchu is pure evil.]]
After finishing the first three issues of his comic, Alec Benson Leary set up his own Mediawiki website where one could read all existing comics, as well as a number of articles about the world of Asperchu, and read fan mail answered by Mr. Leary. Soon afterward, portals were added to the site for other notable comics, such as [[Evan]]'s [[Simonchu]], and [[Fan:Sonichu is Dead|Sonichu is Dead]] creator Sean August Watley's latest project, [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals.]]

[[Jack Thaddeus]], recognizing the incredible profit potential of Asperchu, immediately began advertising the new website on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris responded to these new ads, and his newfound knowledge of Alec's website with a [[Down with Asperchu|series]] [[12 January 2010|of]] [[14 January 2010|increasingly]] [[15 January 2010|disturbing]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|videos]] where he made his opinions on the matter quite clear.

Alec, being a gentle soul has not directly responded to any of Chris's offensive videos. When [[Down with Asperchu#Alec's Response to the Video|asked by a concerned fan]], he outlined his planned course of action as one of peace, citing his personal hero, [[Wikipedia:Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]]. His webmaster, Mao "Bamboo" Ling has opted for a more direct approach, speaking to Chris directly in 2 short [[youtube]] videos.

Recently the large banner ad for Asperpedia was replaced by a link to information on the US government's efforts to help the victims of the earthquake in Haiti, because Alec cares about the plight of his fellow man.

===The 19 January Demands===

On 19 January 2010, Chris uploaded 12 new pages of [[Sonichu 10]], which are centred mostly around Asperchu and the Asperpedia. [[Chris and his ego|Ever the heroic saviour]], Chris pictures himself, along with [[Ultra Sonichu]], destroying the slanderous Asperpedia and saving Alec's characters from their [[Asperger syndrome|terrible affliction]], with Asperchu himself getting an ''EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER'' and becoming "[[Mitch Sonichu]]".

Not content with this, Chris then issued an ultimatum to Alec through a blog post:

{{Quote|Although within Alec's Hands, Asperchu IS a horrific joke, not only because of the uncensored nudity, wrongful character usage and all that, but also because the whole thing is drawn in a c***py Blocky and Low Resolution way.

I still have NO association with Alec Benson Leary OR HIS Asperchu character Whatsoever, but I will forgive Alec for his error if he FOLLOWS from my new plot and Extreme Electric Makeover as a template. He is no longer "Asperchu", just call him Mitch Sonichu.|Chris's featured quote on 19 January 2010}}

Alec didn't listen to Chris's demands, instead keeping everyone there and just introducing Mitch Sonichu as simply "Mitch Chu", who appears to be a [[Homos|gay stylist]].

==See also==
*[[Fan:Index]]: Other Sonichu-inspired works of art.
*[http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia]: Asperchu's very own Wiki.
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Asperchu Asperpedia's youtube channel]

[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]

Evan

2010-01-22T06:39:56Z

Evang:

[[Image:Detailsonichurule34.png|thumb|90px|right|One of Evan's first Sonichu art.]]

Rewind to [[2007]]: [[Sonichu]] was found on the Cartoons image board at [[4chan]]. It soon made its way over to Video Games. On November 3rd, a "fan art" (read: dickgirls) thread for Sonichu was made at /v/ and someone suggested that someone there should do the honors of sending him the e-mails. Thinking it to be a good idea at the time, [[Evan]] collected the best images from the thread and a pornographic MS Paint comic he himself drew (pornographic MS Paint comics being his <s>disgusting</s> hilarious specialty to this very day) and sent it to [[Chris-chan]]'s AOL e-mail account.

The [[Masturbating and squirtin'|reply]] he got shocked a nation.

The line "masturbating and squirtin'" was the first sign of Chris-chan's more perverse side, and most hilarious of all was the angry drawing of Chris-chan and Sonichu made just for his response, with the words "We're Keeping Track." The [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page was initially made solely to house the responses Evan had been getting and the fan art he had been sending. Eventually Chris-chan threatened to create Evan in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' and beat him up much like he had [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and Evan sent him a drawing of himself just so he could create such a video. However, he never replied and largely forgot these e-mails even happened.

==After the e-mails==

Afterwards he remained in on the Sonichu scene for some time. After initially drawing up fan art in MS Paint of the Ghostbusters car from the preview of [[Sonichu 8]], the image was actually used in the comic when it was officially released. Evan was oddly credited by his Encyclopedia Dramatica account name, implying that Chris got the image from ED. However, if he had any sense, he would've realized the same account was used to post those HATEFUL and SLANDEROUS e-mails that ruined his life.

[[Image:Simonchu by Evang y.png|thumb|150px|right|The awful fancharacter that eventually became [[Simonla|worse]]]]

Ironically, in spite of directly confessing multiple times that he was responsible for the Encyclopedia Dramatica articles due to the e-mails he had sent, Chris-chan still blames [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to this day.

Eventually he thought it'd be funny to try and get a fan character into Sonichu, creating "Simonchu" due to his at-the-time addiction to ''Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann''. This totally backfired on him as Chris-chan turned it into [[mass debating|mass debate]] material, making Simonchu into the character [[Simonla]].

==Now==

For some time, Evan attempted to get Simonla Rosechu removed from the comics, stating anger at Simonla being given a china (which is sort of ironic considering that he gave Rosechu a pickle, but Chris isn't clever enough for that). Christian decided he would include Simonchu in [[Sonichu 9|Episode 20]] after reading these e-mails, which would have lead to TWO shitty recolors running around instead of one less as intended--if Chris had actually included Simonchu.

[[Image:GDChandler.png|thumb|left|A recent image from the Simonchu comics.]]

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris had mentioned to a fan that Evan allowed him to edit Simochu in Simonla. Soon after, Evan sent an [[Mailbag 22|e-mail]] to Chris on the CWCipedia, calling BS on comment, only to be ignored. Evan sent a [[Mailbag 26|second e-mail]], demanding that, as his character, Simonla be killed off on-screen. Evan got a response, blankly informing him that Simonla was essentially HIS character now, since he decided she would date Wild.

Evan persisted in his actions to remove Simonla from the comic, his e-mails to the mailbag either being answered bluntly or being entirely ignored. Chris insisted on what he called "The Brother/Sister Plan", stating he would install Simonchu into the comics as Simonla's sister. However, Evan protested this, not wanting TWO bastardizations of his character running around. The situation culminated in an [[Mailbag 43#...Well,_this_is_disturbing!|email originally sent to enlighten Chris on the use of IP addresses]]. As a sidenote, Evan asked Chris to remove Simonla once more; Chris promptly retorted with a long-winded and completely bizarre statement:

{{quote|YOUR Simonchu came to Cwcville while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True Wild Sonichu was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the c***-shack known as "Ecgville"...

...Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life. I am the Great Director Chandler!|Chris, [[Chris and reality|completely losing his grip on reality.]]}}

Ironically, earlier that day Chris uploaded an image to CWCipedia encouraging support for aid to the 2010 Haiti earthquake disaster, depicting Simonchu and Simonla working together to build a table. The construction of this table was so monumental that the two placed a plaque in front of it stating [[Chris and reality|"Rebuilt by the Brother/Sister Team of Simonla and Simonchu"]]. So first Simonchu and Simonla are on good terms, now Simonla has her boyfriend go out to kill him?

Currently, Evan is working on ''Simonchu'', a comic series describing the adventures of Simonchu as Evan intended. It is hosted on the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]], due to Evan entrusting the rights of Simonchu to Alec Benson Leary. Whether Chris' mysterious G.D.C. powers have taken their effect on Evan's free will remains to be seen.

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Evan1203 Evan's ED account]
*[http://evang-y.deviantart.com/ Evan's DeviantArt account]
*[http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/ Evan's alternative DA account and the home of the comic about the adventures of the TRUE and ORIGINAL Simonchu. (Still updates regularly.)]
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7631380&x=sonichu 4chanarchive link of the Sonichu fanart thread]. Later down the thread posters begin conspiring to send the posted images to him, and a shot of the fateful e-mail that started this enormous mess can be seen.
*[http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7656940&x=sonichu+response The thread made to unveil Chris-chan's response.] This would be the first contact between Chris-chan and his SLANDEROUS troll enemies. Evan was banned from /v/ for a week because of this thread, for "conspiring invasion". If they only knew.

{{trolls}}
{{people}}
[[Category:People]][[Category:Trolls]]

File:GDChandler.png

2010-01-22T06:23:29Z

Evang:

File talk:Detailsonichurule34.png

2010-01-22T06:18:00Z

Evang: Created page with 'wow this is terrible. ~~~~'

wow this is terrible. [[User:Evang|Evang]] 06:18, 22 January 2010 (UTC)

Chris and reality

2010-01-21T22:18:51Z

Evang:

'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. While most fiction operates on the assumption that the fictional world is in some way separate from that which actually exists, for Chris such lines are difficult to grasp. While some might assume Chris is exploring meta-fictional devices, he is nowhere near that clever. He's just too stupid to get reality straight.

==The mechanics of the CWCiverse==
As experts understand it, [[CWCville]] exists outside the confines of normal spacetime; a pocket universe with principal access located through a Narnia-esque portal made of a [[Wikipedia:Dance Dance Revolution|DDR]] pad in Chris's room (why he has a DDR pad in the first place when he has no coordination or stamina is a mystery). CWCville exists as a Utopia (by Chris's standards), located in Virginia, but not in any tangible sense. The geography of CWCville is incomprehensible by normal means, and it is speculated that only idiot rationale can make sense of this paradox.

Here it is important to remember that by Chris's standards, CWCville is 100% real. When confronted about it, he will acknowledge that CWCville is imaginary, but it is real to him.{{cite}}

In the comic — and within Chris's mind — the citizens of his imaginary universe operate with an understanding of the world outside their own. [[Sonichu]] was born of an unholy union and bizarre pseudo-scientific and fantasy bullshit (as in any good sci-fi story, radiation can do anything!) involving Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokémon, radiation, and a rainbow. He is also the fictional creation and figurative "son" of Chris (despite being of a different species), and is aware of this fact, referring to Chris as his "Father". Theoretically, this should also make Chris the "father" of [[Rosechu]], but either Chris hasn't given that much thought to the implications of what he writes, or he does not wish to dwell on the obvious incestuous undertones.

This duality extends to the sentience of CWCville's fictional inhabitants. They are Chris's inventions and act at his bidding, yet he often acts as if he believes they are real, self-willed beings: "I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>

===Documentary or fictional fiction?===
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|And you thought [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|the straw]] was the worst part, just think of the implications...]]

Defining [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics|Sonichu Canon]] is a difficult prospect. [[Christian_Weston_Chandler_(comic_character)|Chris]] (the character) exists not only as Mayor of CWCville, but as writer of the comic depicting its own reality, his Mary Sue, and as creator of the universe. A given character exists in varying states of self-awareness. On one hand, Sonichu is having his real life adventures, but will at other times speak of discussions with fans, ''within continuity''.<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_38</ref>

It's not just the comics that define CWCville. Even Chris's spoken words have the power, in his mind, to reshape his fantasy world in a way that has lasting consequences. It was only with some reluctance that he obeyed [[BlueSpike]]'s order to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] the new mayor, and he subsequently wrote and drew entire pages of the comic intended to reverse the effect of what a sane person would consider meaningless nonsense.

In one sub-episode,<ref>[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22]]</ref> Chris incorporates his own misadventures into his fictional universe through the use of a [[Get-Tar Region|stand-in location]]. Within what can only reasonably assumed to be Chris's comic universe, Chris spends his time drawing his comic universe.

Things took an even sharper turn in the land of insanity with [[Sonichu 10]], where chris addresses the world of [[Asperchu]]. In the Asperchu series, the [[Chaotic Combo]] appeared, though with some changes (the most notable being that [[Wild Sonichu]] is now dating [[Simonchu]] instead of [[Simonla]], as per [[Evan]]'s wishes.) As the comic is hosted on its own wiki, with a regular update schedule, and with fans contantly pestering him about it, the comic essentially seemed as "real" to Chris as his own Sonichu comics. As such he felt the need, in his own series, to clarify that the characters in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] comic were, in fact, a completely different set of Sonichus and Rosechus that were forced into imitating the Chaotic Combo against their will. Using [[Ultra Sonichu]], he "cures" them of their various problems (in particular, Asperchu's [[Asperger's Syndrome]]), and gives them all a makeover. At this point he then expects Alec to take these events as canon and completely change his own series to accomodate Chris's ridiculous ideas (similar to [[Sonichu 9]], where Chris recreated [[timmys1984]]'s fan promo, and expected the slight changes he added to be implemented to the animations).

It's entirely possible that Chris feels the need to recognize these other comics, because not treating them as "real" (in a sense), makes it more difficult for him to perceive CWCville as "real".

Chris himself, however, isn't above stealing other peoples' characters for his own nefarious purposes. In [[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!|correspondence with Evan]], Chris comes up with the mad concept that Simonchu (Evan's original character) had travelled to CWCville in an attempt to take his "sister" Simonla back to ECGville (Simonchu's hometown), but was defeated by Wild Sonichu. It's hard to tell what is more shocking: the fact that Chris felt the need to justify Simonla's fictional presence via the fictional conflict with Simonchu, or the blatant [[hypocrisy]] in misusing another person's character to push his own agenda. The irony is that Evan's main question is if Chris thinks CWCville is real, which this diatribe answered very clearly.

===The fantasy===
It's clear to anyone with eyes that CWCville only exists as a crutch for Chris's warped psyche. While Chris feels the need to retreat to his womb-like room, he cannot totally withdraw from his need for social interaction. Therefore, CWCville becomes an extension of his personal world, more real to Chris than what he sees as a world out to [[Kick the Autistic]]. He retreats from a world where he has no control to a world where he has total control, a world defined by his whims. In his world, he can decide the laws and mores of the citizens. In his world, he can stalk and loiter to his heart's content.

While many children fantasize about being President or ruling their own city, as they get older, they realize that without the dedication, drive, and personality, it's not very fun having so much responsibility. For Chris, "responsibility" isn't in his vocabulary. All that the mayor does is have power, paying no heed to the well-being of the town's citizens, economy, or education. Just pure power. He set the rules and to hell with anyone who disobeys him. You know what they say about how power corrupts even the best people…

===Video games===
The CWCiverse is populated by video game characters. Sometimes, however, these characters ''know'' they are video game characters:

* [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] dodging right and left with button presses in [[Sonichu Special 1]]
* [[Jiggliami]] referring to Blanca as "the [[Guitar Hero]] of this stage" in [[Sonichu 8]]
* [[Darkbind]] "leveling up with experience by practicing his swordmanship" in [[Sonichu 9]]
* …and let's not forget the whole confusing [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] trading card game bullshit in [[Sonichu 5]].

Normally, the rule of thumb is that characters shouldn't break the fourth wall like this, unless the creators are ''deliberately'' making a series based on multiple crossovers. Chris can't decide whether he's making an ''original'' story, or one that's a deliberate and blatant mix of different source works. Most surprisingly, despite the fact that the characters are aware of their video game origins and video games in general, the characters seem oblivious to their sources of influence most of the time, and we only get an epic backstory for Sonichu, Rosechu and subsequently the Chaotic Combo. Just ''why'' doesn't Darkbind question which video games he was ripped off from?

We can conclude from the actions of the characters that, in a way, the CWCiverse works a bit like a terrible version of the old Saturday-morning ''Captain N'' cartoon and its comic adaptation, where it was taken as a given that all NES video game characters and settings occupied one larger meta-universe. Likewise, in Chris's world, it's a given that Sonic the Hedgehog's universe intersects the Pokémon universe and the universe of whatever else Chris decides to rip off. Instead of video game characters teaming up to defeat video game antagonists, though, we get a mixed-up bunch of character combinations and recolors fighting villains who themselves are character combinations and recolors; ''Captain N'' characters are the same as in the source material and instantly recognizable for any Nintendo fan, while Sonichu ''pretends'' to be original, and people are busy figuring out where the characters have been ripped off from. Instead of a Zapper and a cool NES controller belt that Kevin Keene had in ''Captain N'', Chris was handed a boring power to do absolutely everything, limited only by his imagination (and boy, does that ''ever'' limit things). ''And'' there's no Samus. ''And'' it's no longer the early 1990s, so this weirdness won't be tolerated anymore.

==List of confusion==

# Sonichu is both a fictional "creation" of Chris's and a sentient being that is able to communicate through Chris.
# [[Mary Lee Walsh]] was replaced by a not-evil [[Wikipedia:Doppelgänger|doppelgänger]] sometime in 2000 in our world, leaving her free to wreak terrible havoc upon CWCville. It should be noted that it doesn't appear as though the real Mary was replaced by the comic version in Chris' mind, but that that the Mary Lee Walsh Chris met at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ''was'' the comic version, who was later replaced in the ''real world'' with a second, good Mary Lee Walsh.
# Chris's car is a Transformer.
# Chris is the TRUE and HONEST mayor of his fantasy land, elections are not held because he founded the town,<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref> so there's no need for them. He'll be damned if he's replaced.
# His [[Patti Chandler|dog]] is alive. As a [[Patti-chan|bipedal anthropomorphic cartoon character]].
# Sonichu and Rosechu seem to have two different lives: One within the pages and one outside the pages, as evidenced by their marriage and children.

==Outside of the comics==
Chris's shaky grasp on reality extends beyond the comic pages. Somewhat subtly, there is his tendency to exaggerate or grossly misunderstand measurements of [[Duck|length]], [[Patti Chandler|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]]. When [[Chris humps his PS3|bragging about the size of his junk,]] he seems to claim that his glans is of normal length and his testes outstandingly small. When trying to show off his strength and fitness, he thinks that everyday objects like [[Power|chairs]] and [[11042009 51 50|twelve-pack cans of soda]] have absurdly high weight, and that it's impressive he can even lift two twelve-packs of soda at a time, or lift an office chair, or do [[30 Push-Ups|thirty extremely poor pushups]]. He once claimed that Patti's dog house weighed five to ten ''tons'' (and not in the hyperbolic use of the word), and that he managed to lift that. It seems to go beyond being incapable of measurement; he seems to think that since he's the hero, everything he does has some kind of epic element to it.

To date, the most telling evidence of this is the [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|Sonichu Presentation videos]]. The majority of his babble in this video is just typical delusions of grandeur: Sonichu is a profitable concept, Chris could direct cartoons, etc. Near the end though, things take a turn towards scary.

{{Quote|CWCville Shopping Center does get built... And it has a Mayor's Office... right here, above the... front of—up above the main front entrance of the building...|Chris, suggesting CWCville Shopping center might actually be built}}

Even if we accept Chris's vision of a world where Sega, Sony, Nintendo, and Cartoon Network all get behind Chris and let him turn Sonichu into a gigantic cultural phenomenon, and if we accept the concept that the Sonichu craze will become so huge that a physical mall could be built in its honor, why would that mall need a Mayor's office? Just as a tribute to the series, or does Chris really think he's the Mayor of CWCville, in dire need of his office?

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Template:CWCverse

2010-01-21T03:17:05Z

Evang:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ffff00" align="center" width="95%"
| '''* [[Sonichu|CWCverse]] Locations *'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |

'''[[CWCville| CWCville main sights]] ([[:Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|map]]):'''
[[CWCville|CWCville City]] |
[[McIntire Park|CWCville Park/CWC-Central Park]] |
[[CWCville Shopping Center|CWCville Mall]] ([[CWCville Mayoral Office]]) ([[CWCville Shopping Center#Mall Stores|Full list of stores]]) |
[[Wild|Jungle/Mountain Areas]] ([[Wild|Chameleon Cult Jungle Dojo]]) ([[Wild|Wild Sonichu's Treehouse]]) |
[[CWCville|Subdivision Areas]] ([[Sonichu_(character)#Characteristics and personal life|14 Brunchville Lane]]) |
[[Get-Tar Region|Target Mini-Marts]] |
[[Mal-Wart|Walmart Mini-Marts]]

'''[[CWCville|CWCville other places of note]]:'''
[[BILLY MAYS|Billy Mays Tower]] |
[[Zapina|Bolyn High]] |
[[CWC Cola|CWC-Cola Bottling Company]] |
[[McDonald's|CWCee Dees]] |
[[Sonichu 8#Episode 18|CWCville Beach]] ([[Silvana|Pier 969]]) |
[[Wedding Comic|CWCville Baptist Church]] |
[[Sonichu 6#Episode 14|CWCville General Hospital]] |
[[Jiggliami|CWCville Studios]] |
[[Dating Education|CWCville University]] |
[[Sonichu 8#Episode 18|Cwick-Circuit City]] |
[[The Wall of Originals|Cwick City Gym]] |
[[Giant Penis Comic|Double-CWC Hotel]] |
[[KCWC]] |
[[Layla|Layla's Apartment]] |
[[Sonichu 5#Episode 13|Local Coffee Shop]] |
[[Pokemon|Pokemon Center]] |
[[Angelica|Samuel Memorial United Christian Church]] |
[[PandaHalo|Sarah's Apartment Complex]] |
[[Simonla|Simonla Rosechu's Rabbit Hole]] |
[[Jerkops|True Blue St.]] ([[Sonichu 9|CWCville Police Dept. 11th Precinct]])

'''[[CWCville|CWCville environs]] ([[:Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|map]]):'''
[[Giovanni|Giovanni's Gym/Base]] |
[[Kel|Kel's House]] |
[[Pokemon|Pallet Town]] |
[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic's House]] |
[[Station Square]] |
[[Rosechu|Zapbud Fields]]

'''The Axis of [[Slaweel]]:'''
[[Jason Kendrick Howell|Clarksville, Tennessee]] ([[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent_garbage.com HQ]]) |
[[Sonichu Special 1|Cly's Mansion]] |
[[Dark Mirror Hole]] |
[[Doctor Robotnik|Dr.Robotnik's Base]] |
[[Get-Tar Region]] |
[[Giovanni|Giovanni's Gym/Base]] |
[[Mal-Wart|Mal-Wart Region]] ([[McDonald's|M-C-Dville]]) |
[[The Moon|The Motherfucking Moon]] |
[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] ([[Manchester High School|PVCCitizens High School District]]) |
[[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Sho-Mall Region]] ([[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square]]) |
[[Pokemon|Viridian City]]

'''Other places:'''
[[Anchuent Prophecy|Destiny Cave]] |
[[Flame the Sunbird|Myserious Rainbow Island]] |
[[Magi-chan|Mysterious Mountain]] |
[[Punchy|Nabe's Dojo-Shin]] |
[[Pokemon|New Island]] |
[[Bubbles|The Ocean]] |
[[Megagi La Skunk|Parodyse Isle]] |
[[Darkbind|RuleCWC]] |
[[Time Void]]

|}

<noinclude>[[Category: Templates]]</noinclude>

Clawdorf

2010-01-21T02:54:21Z

Evang:

[[Image:Clawdorf.jpg|thumb|right|Clawdorf]]
[[Image:CWCCoincidence.jpg|thumb|right|Can't unsee: [[Silvana|Silvana's]] dick is about to invade CWC's rectum!]]

[[Clawdorf]] is the arch-nemesis of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who unleashed the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] from an ancient (he spelled it correctly this time) tablet.

By doing so, Clawdorf cursed "eternal sleep over our princess" (Darkbind's fair love [[Zelina Rosechu]]), but it backfired on him, transmuting the wizard into stone.

Proving that Chris hasn't forgotten everything that he's pulled out his ass, Clawdorf is revived by Sonichu's pointless transformation into [[Ultra Sonichu|Ultra Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu 10]]. Whether he is in fact a giant penis remains to be seen, and probably will not be, as Ultra Sonichu immediately departs for [[Asperchu|Minnesota]] and leaves Darkbind, Zelina and the two multi-racial RuleCWC guards to be slaughtered.

==Inspiration==

* [[Wikipedia:Ganondorf|Ganondorf]], the primary antagonist from [[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda (series)|the Legend of Zelda series]].
* Dr.Claw from the [[Wikipedia:Inspector Gadget|"Inspector Gadget"]] cartoon series (maybe).
* A [[niggos|black]] [[pickle|dick]] with arms going into his [[homos|anus]].

==See Also==
* [[Darkbind]]
* [[Zelina Rosechu]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Lolisa Rosechu]]

[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Plot Devices]]

File:Nodarkies.JPG

2010-01-19T00:40:44Z

Evang: uploaded a new version of "File:Nodarkies.JPG": uploading bigger file

[[Category:Chris-Chan (fanart)]]

User:Cchandlersonichu

2010-01-13T06:01:31Z

Evang:

faggot. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 05:52, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
* Is this the real deal? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 05:56, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
:*I don't think so. Looks like that Mai Boi faggot. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:59, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
* I was under the impression he was unaware/apathetic towards the CWCki. Whoever this is, however, is still a colossal faggot. Chris or otherwise. [[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 05:59, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
* Chris has blanked the old Wiki before when he found it on the same webspace as CWCipedia. Given Chris's recent DISREGARD for his TRUE FANBASE, I would not be surprised if this was him. Obviously, it's TIME TO SWITCH ALLEIGANCES TO ASPERCHU. [[User:Evang|Evang]] 06:01, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

Barack Obama

2010-01-11T21:26:18Z

Evang:

[[Image:Obama.jpg|thumb|right|Obama's favorite Rolling Stones song? "Paint It Black."]]

{{quote|I think he’s a regular stand up [[family guy]].|Chris on Obama, [[Rollin' and Trollin']]}}

'''Barack Obama''' is the 44th and current president of the United States of America. Because he is [[African Americans|black]] (half black, anyway), [[Chris]], being the ''somewhat'' [[racist]] [[autistic]] that he is, <strike>finds</strike> previously found him very detestable.

He appears briefly in [[Sonichu 8|issue 8]] in episode 17 painting the White House black. There was a popular joke where he did so after winning the presidential office. Chris obviously took this joke way too seriously, even believing it as an actual rumor about Obama.

Chris, while initially disliking Obama, felt he and Obama were much a lot alike, in that they were both discriminated against, essentially equating [[Kick the Autistic]] with actual racial discrimination. Chris admitted that after watching the A&E documentary on Obama and McCain, he decided to vote for Obama because he felt he had more in common with him. Once again, democracy fails us...

Chris did a prearrainged interview in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin']] where he spoke about how he liked Obama and made no mention of painting the White House black.

On New Years Eve 2009, Chris claimed to have "snail-mailed" Barack Obama asking to make [[Homo]] ads on the [[CWCipedia]] illegal, [[Chris and the Law|with involvement from the FBI and jail sentences]].<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu#THAT_DOES_NOT_MATTER</ref>

 

==White House gag==
[[Image:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's brilliant political satire in action. See, it's funny, because Bush is known to poke his political rivals with a broom he carries with him at all times.]]

While still a Senator, Obama made a cameo appearance in [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], featured in one of the multitude of bizarre elevator gags seen as [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] ascend to the top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building. Inexplicably, the entire White House is contained on the 51st floor, where Candidate Obama is painting the exterior black. Below, Senator [[Wikipedia:John McCain|John McCain]] (R-AZ) who ran against Obama in the 2008 Presidential race, chides Obama for presuming to redecorate the White House before actually securing the election. Senator [[Wikipedia:Hillary Clinton|Hillary Clinton]] (D-NY), who would later become Obama's Secretary of State, and McCain's running mate, then-Alaska Governor [[Wikipedia:Sarah Palin|Sarah Palin]], also look on with annoyance. This page was removed from CWC's site along with the comic pages featuring pornography; the pornographic pages were restored in the Luv Shack, but the Obama page remained removed.

[[Image:barack_OBANA.png|thumb|left|Pretty much how Chris views politics.]]

Curiously, Obama is wearing a [[Wikipedia:kufi|kufi]], which is a traditionally African hat. It is unknown whether Chris included to emphasize Obama's [[Niggo|African American]] heritage, or if he believes that Obama is secretly a Muslim, in which case he would be wearing a [[Wikipedia:taqiyah (cap)|taqiyah]]. Either way, the fact that Chris included this bit of information betrays his obviously stereotypical view of the then-Senator Obama.

From inside the White House, then-President [[George W. Bush]] (looking a lot like [[Giovanni]]) notices Obama's audacious paintjob, and takes matters into his own hands. Using a broom, he tips over Obama's ladder. The implied extent of Obama's injuries from the fall are left up to the imagination of the reader (and hopefully the Secret Service).

In a rare instance of giving credit for other people's ideas, Chris acknowledges that his father [[Bob Chandler]] inspired the gag. Whether this is Chris's feeble attempt to integrate his father into his comic, or a weak effort to shift the blame if anyone takes offense, is unclear.

==See also==
*[[George W. Bush]]
*[[Niggos]]
*[[Sonichu 8]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

User:Evang

2010-01-08T21:58:07Z

Evang:

Stuff I did

[[User:Evang/Porkytheory/]] 
[[User:Evang/CCAC/]] 
[[Fan:Simonchu]]

SIMONCHU COMICS:
[http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/]

User:Evang

2010-01-08T21:50:49Z

Evang:

Stuff I did

[[User:Evang/Porkytheory/]] 
[[User:Evang/CCAC/]]
[[Fan:Simonchu]]

SIMONCHU COMICS:
[http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/]

File:Mayor Evan.png

2010-01-08T21:20:29Z

Evang:

Church audio

2010-01-08T07:00:53Z

Evang:

On 15 [[March 2009]], [[Robert Simmons V]] and an undercover [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] visit Chris's [[Chris and Religion|church]] and approach the [[Chris|manchild]] in the flesh unsuspectingly.

The audio recording of this event lasts 1:47:48. Throughout, Chris's voice is much louder than everyone else's.

Chris says he's keeping his distance from instant messages. He'd rather not talk about who hacked his Yahoo! account. [[Bob]] is there, but Chris reveals that [[Barbara]] usually stays home.

Chris excuses himself to leave Bob to talk to Robert for a few minutes. Bob talks about jerks on the internet, Chris's condition, and early video games. When Chris comes back, he realizes that it's funny both Bob and Robert have the same name.

Chris talks about Robert's trouble with finding a girlfriend. Chris has made the final decision to talk to local girls instead of ones on the internet. He's gotten encouragement from [[Rocky]] with ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]''. He talked to 7 girls just last Thursday at [[Alderman Library]], but got a fake number. Chris was emotionally prepared for the fake number from ''Seinfeld''. Bob mentions the [[Sonichu Girls]] club.

Chris rambles on about ''[[Family Guy]]'' and Stewie quoting the bible against [[homo]]sexuality. His copy of the bible with Leviticus is different from the church's because it was a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of the Korean church in Chesterfield County. Bob talks about North Korea.

After asking Robert for a pen, Chris makes his signature and hands it to Robert, saying it could be valuable one day.

They start reciting verses and singing hymns for many minutes. Chris gets to pick a verse for everyone to sing. Bob gets the second pick. Then other people pick. Chris wails over everyone else in some of them.

Afterward, Robert reunites with the other troll. They drive away contemplating on Leviticus and raping Emiry.

==Transcript==
{{transcription}}

[[Category:Trolling]]

Talk:Main Page

2010-01-08T06:16:41Z

Evang: /* what the fuck? */

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates.}}

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]]

== Lock this page ==
I think it is about time that this page is locked so only admins can edit it.--[[User:Blachman|Blachman]] 18:59, 23 September 2009 (CEST)

*Seconded. Very seconded. [[User:LStaley416|LStaley416]] 19:01, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*To be fair, the reason why it's unlocked is because in my opinion, I know that I'm proned to fucking shit up when I tinker with the front page and people might actually want to add something neat to the front page. I understand the concern due to recent vandalism, so if others users feel this way, then the front page will be locked. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:05, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*Is it possible to change the new user creation so it requires admin approval? That'd make it harder for faggots to simply sign up and vandalize the place, you could make them go through the IRC channel or something. Of course, that goes against the idea of a wiki being open to editing, but there's not really a nice way of stopping vandalism. [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 19:27, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
:*CWCki, as I see it, strives to be open and people should be encouraged to edit it. Going into IRC shouldn't really be a prerequisite of CWCki. Some people don't like IRC and that's fine. Frankly, we're not really in a position to restrict users. As cogs said, she's working on installing an extension which will can easily spot vandalism and reverse it instantly since Cogs, myself, and Clyde can't monitor CWCki every single second. There's some really neat stuff bots can do with MediaWiki in respect to vandalism. But anyways, any wiki is subject to vandalism, but we learn to handle it and hopefully an extensions and maybe an anti-vandalism patrol will help. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:34, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*well, it's only one person, and the vandalism is fairly regular. i think granting some users anti-vandalism powers and possibly installing an extension will do. --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 19:43, 23 September 2009 (CEST)

== Someone with move rights... ==

...plz move Main Page/Archive 1 to [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1]]. What happens in Talk: should stay in Talk:, and people who (for example) whack [[Special:Random]] should be spared from these ramblings =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 19:59, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*Good point, sometimes I miss small details like that D:. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:34, 23 September 2009 (CEST)

Chris has uploaded pages 84[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic9P84.jpg] and 85[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic9P85.jpg] Someone with rights update kthnxbai [[User:Sandworm|Sandworm]] 00:44, 25 November 2009 (CET)

== Streamlining ==

There are a few modifications that I think the front page really needs. Namely, there needs to be an area that links to all the general areas most important to understanding Chris, such as the comics, the videos, the troll sagas, the CWCisms, etc. I recommend replacing the links in the "CWC Canon" with this. Do we really need a direct link to [[How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]]? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:00, 1 December 2009 (CET)
*The thing is, those are texts directly written by Chris himself. It's like, the direct word of Chris while everything else is merely commentary. Personally, I think Chris's Wikipedia page is like the perfect introduction to hear how fucked up Chris is from Chris himself for those who are uninitiated. However, I think it might be handy to have like a "Essentials" box of key articles.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:29, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

== 25 Days Without an Outage, My Ass! ==

That is all. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 01:24, 11 December 2009 (CET)

== CWCipedia Tracker needs to be updated ==

The CWCipedia Tracker needs to be updated so it says thatChris answered the letters in Mailbag 24. Also, it probably should say he fell for a tranny.
:...Then update it.
:Also, sign your posts.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:20, 30 December 2009 (CET)
:: Done with care and just for you, dear Anonymous!!! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:22, 30 December 2009 (CET)
:::And that is why Griffintown is a better person than me--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:44, 30 December 2009 (CET)

== Suggestions for video of the now ==
Idk if this is a good place to do this, tell me if it is or not, I'm kinda new to this wiki, and wiki's in general, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxdvUwhg7jg Christian Weston Chandler CWC Sonichu's confession] [[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 06:15, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*Link fixed. Meh, seems long and tedious. I couldn't get through it. --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 06:42, 3 January 2010 (CET)
:*It's pretty lulzy at the end. --[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 07:06, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*Another suggestion http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3bvd0XIMZU--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 22:38, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:*This was already the video of the now around 30 December or so. Also in the future, please go [[:Template talk:Video of the now|here]] to suggest videos for the Video of the now.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:18, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

==Missed Comic days==
Should we really count the days that the CWCipedia was down against him? He couldn't upload pages, yet the situation was his damn fault anyway. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 13:11, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
:* I think we should include that as missed comic days. It's not like he uploaded extra comics to make up for it. --[[User:Morganna|Morganna]] 13:47, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*I was thinking of maybe adding an asterisk next to the missing page count with note mentioning the outage time. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:30, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

==what the fuck?==
www.sonichu.com now redirects to some stupid shit about asperchu or something. isn't www.sonichu.com supposed to redirect to here?
*Okay, two things. First of all, it's probably for the best. It'll help keep Chris from finding the site (if he hasn't already, that is, in the case that he has then at least he won't be able to find it anymore since the URL change) and also because Chris will be pissed if he finds out. He despises Asperchu, and the thought that it's growing bigger than Sonichu and is using him to garner popularity will probably make him tard rage. Second of all, sign your fucking posts. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 01:53, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
:*It really doesn't fucking matter if Chris finds CWCki or not, he probably doesn't give a shit and won't believe it. Second of all, everyone loves Asperchu, and Alec Benson Leary is doing to the Sonichu comics what Liquid did for Chris's videos. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:08, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
::*I thought the Sonichu.com redirect was fucking brilliant. Prove to Chris that Alec Benson Leary is better than him in every possible way.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:11, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
:::Chris already knows about the CWCki. He blanked the front page once whining about it and was promptly banned. [[User:Evang|Evang]] 06:16, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

Simonla Rosechu

2010-01-05T06:00:52Z

Evang: /* See also */

User:Evang

2010-01-05T05:59:59Z

Evang:

Carrying over shit I wrote on the old CWCki

[[User:Evang/Porkytheory/]] 
[[User:Evang/CCAC/]]

SIMONCHU COMICS:
[http://simonchucomics.deviantart.com/]

Simonla Rosechu

2010-01-05T02:25:48Z

Evang: i was so self-asborbed when I wrote this...