CWCki - User contributions [en]

Medallions

2013-06-25T14:54:16Z

Exball:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them '''"medals"'''.<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|"CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!"]]</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but Chris himself has confirmed that he indeed inserted the shreds of the medallion into his ass and later on expelled them into the toilet.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of now the medallion remains hung on his wall, as seen in a [[Re-Calling Ahuvia|video]].

CWC enthusiasts can look forward to Chris voluntarily surrendering the medallion to thieves and/or willingly shoving it up his rectum in the near future.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]]. (Seriously, watch the video; it's an example of [[tard rage]] at its finest).

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|thumb|left|Baka Dana Watashi!]]
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|thumb|Back of the medallion.]]Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal is still hanging on his wall to this day, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris doesn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about. [[Magical Man|An unnamed individual]] appearing in the [[Magical Man Potion]] video was seen sporting the Asperchu medallion.
Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].
{{clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed Medallions===
*Sonichu v.2

===Medallions Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3
*Asperchu

==Gone forever?==
[[File:133696094632.jpg|thumb|Last appearance, 11 [[November 2010]].]]
[[File:Chris Lego.jpg|thumb|YOUR MEDAL IS MADE OUT OF '''PAPER'''!]]

Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. He also wore the [[Sonichu]] medallion in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). However, the medallion has not been seen since Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do, or possibly that the medallion has finally checked out for good.

In [[November 2012]], Chris made a Kreo (off brand [[Lego]] sets made by [[Transformers|Hasbro]]) edition of him wearing a tiny paper medallion his [[Facebook]] image, suggesting that Chris hasn't totally given up on [[Sonichu]], or at least sees it as an important part of his identity.

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Song of Christian

2013-06-16T08:17:53Z

Exball:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Song_of_christian_1_1-51.jpg|thumb|"I hear [[America]] singing as I sing of myself..."]]

'''''Song of Christian''''' was a poem that [[Chris]], at age sixteen, had to write for a class. Chris bases his poem partly on [[Homos|Walt Whitman]]'s [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]].

He later made a video that showed him raging about the well-deserved F, which showed up on his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|documentary DVD]]. This time, he failed to do two things: [[Chris and camerawork|use proper lighting]] — video cameras didn't come with night-vision features in those days — and come up with something interesting to say before the camera was rolling.

Compared with his voice today, at age sixteen, he embodied the dulcet tones of [[Wikipedia:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] and shared the octave range of [[Wikipedia:Captain Beefheart|Captain Beefheart]]. What happened in between then and his [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' commercial]] is up for debate.

The quality of the video and the lack of color would suggest that this was filmed on a late-1980's [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvmK0y3H4-A Fisher Price PXL-2000] camcorder, or a cheap knockoff, probably sourced from Goodwill.

==The actual poem==

<blockquote><poem>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
And you experience, as I experience.
The problems of yourself are my problems.
The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
As you have sung the song of laughter.
At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
Those are my parents' song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
New goals and ''Mario'' raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].
The magazine's songs, the ballad of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' on Game Boy.
The rudeness of the teenager's song,
The despicable mention of rude words and...[[Tobacky|D-R-U-G-S]].
I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
My song that I sing, although I talk well,
My peer relationship is low, and my [[So Lonesome|loneliness]] is off the scale.”</poem></blockquote>

==Part I==

{{Infobox/video
| name = "Song of Christian" ~ Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eC4XNixKBq4}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = Poetry
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Sonic_the_Hedgehog_Watch_%26_Win_Sweepstakes#Video|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
| next = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_2|"Song of Christian" ~ Part II]]
}}

<center>Just showing off his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].</center>

===Transcript===

[''Simulates blowing a trumpet, or the sound of a diseased rooster, to mark his arrival.''] 

Welcome ladies, and gentlemen, to ''The Christian Chandler Show''! 
Bringin' ya lots of laughs, and all that neat ol' stuff. Now, here he is, the host with the most: Christian Chandler!

<div>[''simulates the cheers of a crowd, stopping to take a breath halfway through, and reveals himself to the camera'']</div>

<div>Good evening friends, and welcome to ''The Christian Chandler Show''. '''I''' am your host Christian Chandler.
Now, tonight, we are gonna talk about poetry. And uh, line— an', uh, behind the scenes of part of the lines—which got me inspired. An' I'm gonna express my feelings a little bit, so...please don't laugh. I feel— I'll feel embarrassed. Okay, anyway, my poem is called— entitled— "The Song of Christian". And I just did it last night, on May 14th, [[1998]].</div>

[''irritated undecipherable mutter''] Anyway, uh, I'm gonna do my poem, now, so, here goes:

<blockquote>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
 And you experience, as I experience.
 The problems of yourself are my problems.
 The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
 As you have sung the song of laughter.
 At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
 Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
 Those are my parents song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
 I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
 New goals and ''Mario'' raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].
 The magazine's songs, the ballad of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' on Game Boy.
 The rudeness of the teenager's song,
 The despicable mention of rude words and...D-R-U-G-S.
 I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
 My song that I sing, although I talk well,
 My peer relationship is low, and my loneliness is off the scale.”</blockquote>

An' anyway that's my poem. 
Now, we gotta go behind the lines, and see how it all got inspired.

<div>Now the, uh, first line line "I hear America singing", and, uh, "sing of myself". I got those from the combination of the first line of, both, [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]] and—s I—s—I—[http://www.bartleby.com/142/91.html "I hear America singing"]. And the "experiencing" and (''"problems"?'') ... I made those up myself. And of course, ya know, the, ahh, youth. I'm talking about the young children, here. They start singing their cries of happiness when they are born. With their little [[Sonee & Rosey|'giggles' and 'tee-hee-hees'.]] [''[[sigh]]''] That's just the sound of laughter. At age six weeks, I started... the sound of laughter which is my—when I start talking. Now, my first word was 'monkey', and here's how it happened. My mother and I went down to the [[Wikipedia:Best Products|Best Products]] store in [[Charlottesville]] many, many years ago. ''Of course you know at age six weeks I was born in [[1982]]''. [''sigh''] Anyway, uh, my mother was carrying me in her arms, and she was shopping, when then all of a sudden I said "monkey"[''baby talk voice'']. An' there was a wo—uh, there was an old woman near by, and, uh, she suh—h—heard me and then came over and asked my mom, "''Was that your son?''", and my mom said, "''Yup, that was my son''". Ahh... she didn't say anything she was just shocked.</div> 

<div>An', anyway I, uh, went on—and—on with my mouth. That is until the age one-and-a-half... years... [''sigh''] The sad thing that happened... the Lord put the mute button on me. CLICK FLICK [''Light switch motion'']. That's when my ad—me—I'm representing my autism, there. The Lord clickin' the mute button. [sigh] An' anyway here's where my autism began. I'm gonna to be real truthful here. Uh, I had a babysitter, but, uh, she was kinda've mean [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]]. Anyway, ah, one day she was on her phone and, uh, I came up t—I came up to her, I came up with her, and said something and, uh, she was kinda angry at me, 'cause I interrupted her phone call, AND she locked me [[Chris's room|in a room fulla noth—n—fulla nothing but toys]], and, uh, she just locked me in there, and, uh, I was very lonely, so I just sat there and cried, and... uh that's how my [[autism]] began. Thanks to an evil babysitter.</div> 

<div>And then thanks to my parents—actually my ma did most of the work, but, uh, it was thanks to my parents. They got me talkin' again at age seven. An', anyway, here's how they—it happened. My mother, my mother, always took me down to the toy store, ahh, at least every weekend on...[''sigh''] to, uh, wa—l—look at the, to read the packages. Like, to say, for example, "Go-Bots." You remember those old goh—fashion Go-Bot toys? Well, anyway, with (Mario?) hands me the package is, and thepackageis [''All in one breath''] for me, and I read along with her. And, uh, well, we just read the, uhh, top name of the fi—name of the toy, and the name of the, uh, to—and the, uhhh, name of the... character that it represents. And, then, on an the—go to the flip side and see all the other characters, name all the other toys in the collection. And, ''of course'', we did the same for fu—the old-fashioned Transformers. Yes. [''Head confidently turns to look at items off-camera'']</div>

And, also, wit' mother an' I—and, also, sometimes, mother and I'd buy some Lego sets and build them together, like, for example... [''mumbles about getting his "stupid thing"''] Oh, yeah... Lllike, for example, this old, uh, bicycle (''pig?'') shop, here. Ah, you can tell this is an old-fashioned [[Lego]] set on account of this—the old-fashioned "Lego Land" on the corner. Anyway, ah, we always built something like this, but, uhh, since that... and, one time, we even built a nice racetrack. I don't still have my Lego tin, but, uh... I NAMED MY CAMERA NIBBLE(?).... [''sigh''] I don't think... that it's good to have. Uh, oh, well, anyway.

''Excuse me''.

[[Image:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|right|The homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine.]]

Anyway, Mother and I always had fun together. But, then, at age five—age seven, my mouth blabbed, ah—I started blabbin' my mouth, again. Daarn that collar! [''Voice cracks''] And then, uh, the, ah, "Helping to achieve new records on ''Mario Raceway''". You know I like the play video games. I mean, I have Nintendo 64 video games, the Super Nintendo games, Genesis, old-fashioned Nintendo, Game Boy, Game Gear, Sega CD, 32X, and I also got lotsa Tiger-brand LCD games. An', anyway, I was a video game p—person, and my favorite type of game were racing. So, um, one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games were—was ''Mario Kart 64''. I'r, uh, I was already tryin' to beat my ghost on the, uh, ''Mario Raceway'' Time ''Trails'' mode. My best time—my best record is, as Mario, ah minute, twenty-one, and eighty-nine seconds. Me—uh... ''excuse me''... I mean a 1'21"89. Yeah, that's it. An', anyway, I always like to beat my records.

But then the, uh, Nin-ten-do Ma-ga-zine that's da'uh maga-zine you heard that was lost. There it is: my ''home-made'' ''Nintendo Power'' magazine. Actually, that's just the cover. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm, ah, working on it]]...on the ''insides'', like a regular ''Nintendo Power'' magazine. When I'm done it should have a hundred-and-eight pages, including the front cover, and the back cover. Ah, right now I'm only on, uh, page 35. [''sigh''] I'll show you, ah, the pages that are inside it. We have your, uh, your, ah, type of contest that they're mentioning of the main article... that goes with the table of contents ''there''. [''sigh''] Then, we have the winners section. Now you seen the, uh, the two envelopes on this page? I actually created them on u—other envelo—on two envelopes myself an' kinda copied that from the envelopes onto ''here''. And, on this page, the three of those, I just kinda made up myself. That's, uh, ''Cruis'n USA'', ''Zelda'', and ''Yoshi's Story''. [''Christian exhales and ruffles through the pages'']. And we have the, uh, ''Power Charts''. Which is the Top Ten Nintendo 64, and Super Nintendo, and the Top Five Game Boy games. Of course, the Most Wanted, and some more letters, and I just a made up a letter about somebody winning the ''Zelda'' contest. Ya know, test the ''Zelda 64'' game that is gonna come out later. WAAAY later, I—in fact, we don't even know—we're not exactly sure WHEN it's gonna come out. ''Darnedest thing is slippin' on me'' [Christian reassembles the magazine].

<div>An anyway, I had this dream a long time ago about ''[[Sonic]]'' on Game Boy, so that's what I based my magazine on.
'Course you can ''tell'' on the cover he's switched from Sega to Nintendo. SO, I started off by making my own Nintendo 64 game: Sonic 64. Isn't that a cool picture, or what? [''shoves crude drawings into the camera''] Alrigh', anyway, you got your castle over ''there''. Sonic and Tails. '''Scuse me a sec''...</div>

====Factual error====
It is physically impossible for him to have spoken a word at six weeks old. Any doctor will attest to the fact that no infant's vocal chords are developed enough by that time to speak, and any psychologist will tell you that their [[wikipedia:Broca's Area|Broca's Area]] is not anywhere near developed enough to understand words by this time.

==Part II==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Song of Christian" ~ Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G9qf5aYpjRg}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, Artwork
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_1|"Song of Christian" ~ Part I]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway#Prototype|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]
}}
<center>[[Chris]] [[virgin with rage|rages]] between 7:38 and 10:05 if you want to skip all the shit no one cares about.</center>

===Transcript===
[''Chris mutters under his breath and fiddles with the papers.'']

Uh...this may even be a rumor, so you— my magazine is falling apart on me. I mean it's just ''paper clipped.'' So sue me. I'm jus' still [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|working on it]].

[''Continues looking through pages'']

Now, let me just find that page again... Well, they have the old castle, again, but now I got the special moves, the spin dash, pound the baw—pound the ground, spin, punch. There's that cool picture of Sonic co—in the co—in the corner. Isn't that cool, or what, huh? Three DI-mensional. That's what I call cool. Yeah....

[''Mumbling and looking through pages.'']

And, then, I have Sonic's friends that help. Of course, Tails (that flies), Knuckles (that punches and flies), and [[Bionic]], WELLLLL, you heard rumors about Bionic: he's that Sonic's brother I made up myself who's that very good basketball player and mechanic. Uh... I can tell you the background story on him. I could tell you about it... I'll just make it quick so I can tell you, anyway. Bionic was Sonic's older brother. Please note "older". Anyway, one day, when they were very young, they were playing a ca—playing the game of catch, Sonic accidentally threw the ball into the bushes. Bionic offered to get it, because he was closer to it. He went in the bushes, but, then, there was a—but there was a warp... p—portal there, and he got sucked into it. Sonic tried to get him out, but Sonic fell into it, went to a dimension of ba—abou—basketball. But then, uh... years later, Bionic found a way to es—found a portal to go back to Sonic and end up in Sonic's... new home in Knothole. And, uh... Sonic and Bionic lived together from then on. Anyway, he's a great mechanic too.

Anyway, I got some pictures here that, uh...shows how Sonic's friends help him...climbing along Knuckles, Tails flying, Sonic...and Bionic...breaking a lot— destroying a lot— breaking a lot of Dr. Robotnik's evil machines.

And, yet, of course, you know, my, uhh, ''Sonic'' on Game Boy originally was ''Sonic and Knuckles'', but I decided to do something different in this magazine. ''Sonic and Knuckles '''II'''''... I mean, a sequel, yeah... Anyway, you got your coverage there, and I put a little Dr. Robotnik in the corner saying, (''changes voice'') "I HATE SONIC! AND I HATE THAT ECHIDNA, TOO!"

[''Bends over to adjust paperclip that is holding his homemade ''Nintendo Power'' together, muttering.'']

Oh, dear, the paperclip is slipping. Darn that thing.

[''Comes back up.'']

Yeah...and, of course, you know I've got my basic "coverages" about a file...selector, and another water zone, Knuckles— playing as Knuckles, and a...special stage. Cool, huh?

[''Turns page.'']

And then I made up a Super Nintendo game. ''SUPER Sonic''. Yeah it's a Super Nintendo game with all— with some of the ''Sonic'' games in one Super Nintendo cartridge. Hey, look, check this out, we got Sonic hanging ten on a Super Nintendo controller. YEAAAH! (''hums music'') Anyway, then I got some...coverage on the...Sonic, uh...with the...how you select the game you wanna play. And of course I got ''Sonic I'' picture there, and ''Sonic 3''.

[''Flips through pages.'']

Oh, dear...

And then I have the uh...coverage on the games. I got ''Sonic I'', ''Sonic II'', ''Sonic III'', and ''Sonic and Knuckles'' in there... yeah, the original ''Sonic and Knuckles'' I'm talking about, not ''Sonic and Knuckles II''.

But, then, I made up another Nintendo 64 game. Uh...sort of interesting to teenagers. I call it ''BEAST WARS''...''[[Transformers]]''. And except these aren't all about the missions; they're firece [''mispronunciation of fierce?'']. It's always the, uh, maximum critical in spite of each other (?). And I made somes—fantasize—suh that... it will be RumblePak compatible. And becau—and the uh... bots that I put in it...goes as follows. I got [[Optimus Prime|Optimus Primal]], and uh...Cheetor, Rattrap, Silverbolt, Dinobot, Megatron...Tarantulas, Waspinator, Quickstrike, and Inferno.

And then I, uh...before Soni- before I made the cover of Sonic, I made up a, uh...other ''Nintendo Power'' cover, which I made of...uh...you heard of ''Megaman XTC'' Nintendo? Well, that's what I did. ''Megaman XTC '''IV'''''. Check that out. Cool picture. IT'S BACK. And then there's some coverage, uh...about some of the stuff about him in the...Sigma's return...Zero being captured, and...it's his armor. It's actually revived armor... The— from the original first— the first ''Megaman X'' game...except more powerful, because... (''mumbles'') Oh, whatever...

Anyway, I got a bunch of bosses from the three ''Megaman X'' games and a couple of the classic ''Megaman'' games. I got Storm Eagle, Snake Man, Wheel Gator, Neon Tiger... [''mumbles "oh jeez" while flipping through pages'']... Gravity Beetle, Bubble Crab, Shadow Man... and, uh... why not ''Megaman X'' without the old... classic ''Megaman X'' boss... [''fumbles with pages, mumbling''] Oh, dear... these things are slipping on me.... Anyway, Chill Penguin. Yeah, that penguin is back, alright. I got each of these bosses, have a 3D battle song (?), and of course, now, I got coverage of Sigma's return. I got Robot's dogra form (?), then I made up a new dissent (?) for old Dr. Wiley, Dr. Wiley Jr. here, he's fighting Megaman in a robot MONKEY. Monkey... And then I got Sigma's return... and this is actually from that cover of Meg—that cover I made up. I mean, it's actually destroying Sigma, but this is from his view. It's actually from the opposite side... of the battlefield.

So right now I'm working on the classified information... begun with Sonic— parts of ''Sonic I'' and ''Sonic II'', and I just did ''Mario Kart 64''. And for ''Nintendo Power''...I'm tracing another copy. Yeah, you can tell it's another copy, because— lookit there. Sonic is a bit more, uh...chubbier there. You can tell the difference right there. All right, on, um... this tracing thing, I only got to page 60, it was the beginning of ''Super Sonic''....

But, moving on... yeah... the rudeness of the teenagers song... of course, now—of course, you know I'm talking about those despicable rude words they got down in there... I mean... ah, you know, w-w-when they say those... sound like... "Oh, *beeeep*." And, uh... "Oh, *booop*", and "son of a *boop*".... You understand what I'm talking about? I mean, that just really ticks me off. And I hope this video's getting through to those tee—to those students in that English class of mine. I HOPE THEY GET IT THROUGH THEIR HEADS AND EV— AND GET IT THROUGH TO EVERYONE IN THAT SCHOOL, THAT THAT RUDE LANGUAGE IS CRUEL. I mean, you see it, and—you thinks it's cool to the adults, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER DO IT. I MEAN, IT'S JUST RUDE! VERY RUDE! I MEAN, I'M JUST SICK OF IT! I mean... [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|HNNNNGH]].

And then there's that other thing... the, uh... D-R-U-G-S. (''mimes smoking'') That just... that *puff puff* [[tobacky|thing]], that just clogs up my nose. *grunt* And that other thing.... (''mimes drinking alcohol and passing out'') Anyway, just MAKES ME SICK to see people just [[Sonichu|waste]] [[Little Big Planet|their]] [[Love Quest|lives]] [[Guitar Hero|away]] on [[alcohol|that]]. I mean, [[Chris and hypocrisy|it's DESPICABLE (''hits table''). DE-SPIC-A-BLE!]] Understand what I'm talking about? And, of course, I'm not afraid to speak about the hazardous flukes like [[Chris and copyright|the "American Song" how it goes]]... and, of course, that last line there.... The song I sing you and all my—talk about my peer relationships as well... I talk about the peer relationships in my neighborhood. I mean, I do not have that many peers in the neighborhood. All I have in my neighborhood is Damien, and I don't usually see him a lot, and a twelve year old boy named Michael, and he's uh... just a little kid.

Anyway, I'm just usually lonely at home. Don't have a second player to play with. I don't even have a little brother, and I'm s—still hoping for one. Anyway uh... I see by the clock that it's about time I sign off. But, uh... before I go, I have just one thing to say to, uh... the teacher: '''[[Chris and anger|AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!]]''' I mean, an F! I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I GOT AN F... I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? IT COULD'VE BEEN BACK IN OLD GREENE COUNTY, THAT STUPID PLACE... YEESH. That Greene County Primary... actually that was a nice school, but then th—came the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene Elementary]]. That's w—where I got the F. Anyway, then, many years rolled by... '''THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND GAVE ME AN F. I MEAN I STARTED OFF WITH AN A AND YOU JUST LOWERED AND LOWERED AND LOWERED IT! I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS LOWERING THING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST AUT—[[Slow-in-the-minds|AGAINST THE HANDICAPPED CHILDREN]], ANYWAY?! I MEAN, I KNOW MY HANDICAP IS [[Kick the Autistic|AUTISM]], AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! AND YOU MADE IT BURN, I THINK THAT F IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL! I MEAN, [[Chris and his Ego|I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT]].'''

[''stress sigh'']

Anyway, it's time I sign off. Well, this has been ''The Christian Chandler Show'', and we hope you all enjoyed it. And, as we say in the land of TV Land...goodnight, folks!

[''covers camera with hand and "sings" theme song'']

==See also==
* [[Greene County Conspiracy]] - 12 YEARS LATER, Chris still sits in the dark and complains about people hating him for being Autistic

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]|nextlink=[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]|}}
{{Writings}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Poetry]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 1998-05-15]]

Shout out to Fans in Hospital

2013-04-13T00:21:23Z

Exball:

[[Image:DylanAndErick.JPG|thumb|Now where have we seen these guys before...]]
"'''Shout out to Fans in Hospital'''" (officially "'''12242009 - Shout out to Fans in Hospital..MOV'''") is a video uploaded on 24 [[December 2009]] where [[Chris]] gives a shout out to [[wikipedia:Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]], who, in 1999, perpetrated one of America's deadliest school shootings at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado.

Chris was a 17-year-old junior in high school in 1999 and the shootings received in-depth national and international coverage. Also, the event's tenth anniversary was widely commemorated in the national news a few months before Chris made this video.<ref>[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30092644/ns/us_news-columbine_10_years_later Columbine: 10 Years Later]</ref> Looks like [[Hello, Juffalo|mass murders really make Chris happy]].

This video was recorded in [[Chris's kitchen]] at the family computer.
{{clear}}
==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Shout out to Fans in Hospital
| video = {{#ev:youtube|h3vZCpSURCM}}
| stardate = 24 [[December 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|[[CWCipedia]]}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| location = [[Chris's kitchen|La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| previous = [[A Sonichu Day]]
| next = [[Kill De Jack]]
}}
{{quote|You'll pull through. It's just a small assinent.}}

=== Transcript ===
Greeting, my [[fans]] [''flashes [[Amnyfest Ring|ring of fail]]'']. Not really a [[Captain's Log]], but more of a shout-out. I just received a, uhh, [[Mailbag 23#High functioning murderers|message in the mailbag]], and I feel like it's appropriate. Ya know, a couple of [[Sonichu]]—couple of [[Chris and his Ego|my]] fans, uh, wanted to go to a high school in New Mexico—by the names of Dylan and Eric. They just recently have been in a terrible car accident, and they are in the hospital right now. So listen to them, Dylan an—Dylan and Eric—Dylan—Eric, [''gives a thumbs up''] stay strong. You'll pull through. It's just a small [[Speech impediment|assinent]]. [''takes [[glasses]] off''] You'll be okay.

Hey, stick around. You got a lot—you got a lot—a lot to look—to look forward to. And plus your family and your friends need you. [''dramatically puts glasses back on'']

Anyway, I appreciate y'alls, uh, [''TV says, "Are you going to kill someone tonight?''] patronating everything. And I saw—wish to... everyone... and Dylan and Eric... a merry [[Christmas]]... [''gives a peace sign barely visible to the camera''] and happy ha—and happy [[Hanukkah|Hanukkah, Chanukkah]]—all the other holidays to everybody of [[Christmas#Other confessions|other religions]].

[''quick wave and brief pause'']

Okay, alright. Everybody take care, and Dylan and Eric... [''shows fist with the [[Amnyfest Ring]] in an aggressive gesture''] Ho-get well soon.

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Sonichu Day]]|nextlink=[[Kill De Jack]]|}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-24]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2009-12-24]]
[[Category:Kitchen videos| 2009-12-24]]

PS3

2012-12-08T22:56:29Z

Exball:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. He was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when he still had a few other outlets for entertaining himself outside his home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], though (and he might also have been binging to get over his "breakup" with Megan Schroeder, which happened that same spring). Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, he began spending a good deal more money on the PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 28 [[November 2012]], Chris has 2,997 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
|"[[wikipedia:Sonic the fighters|Sonic the fighters]]"
|12
|100%
|A fairly short game that can be beaten in 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|69
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
|''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
|''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
|All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
|Furries galore.
|-
|''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
|21
|100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
|15
|100%
|Grating dialogue on par with the Sonichu comics.
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
|15
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
|14
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
|14
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but IRL he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Not unexpected.
|-
|''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
|12
|100%
|[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog''
|12
|100%
|Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
|11
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
|[[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
|13
|100%
|A Vita tutorial.
|-
|''Sly Minigames''
|8
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently, just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''One hundred percen—!!!'' ...Oh, it's four trophies for four levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|a stalker]]. It is, however, worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
|''God of War''
|33
|82%
| Most of the trophies are simply earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
| A pretentious wagglefest that only Chris could take seriously. Several scenes of nudity: male and female.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
|5
|80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
|35
|77%
|Guitar Hero for the preteen girl demographic.
|-
| ''The Price Is Right''
|11
|76%
| Another real [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] of hi-def gaming
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
| \m/ [[Britney Spears]]! \m/
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
|43
|72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
|10
|71%
|''NUMBLAST'' is a [[homos|colorful]] Japanese puzzle game.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
|7
|71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
|27
|71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
|36
|62%
|Sonic Kart couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to Modnation.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
|31
|58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|UNO]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Seriously? Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|360]] version (lots of naked women). Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the MovingFoward videos, where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "compact" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

PS3

2012-12-08T22:56:07Z

Exball:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Sony playstation 3.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]

The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.

==PlayStation Network==

[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]

Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).

You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.

Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).

Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. He was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when he still had a few other outlets for entertaining himself outside his home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], though (and he might also have been binging to get over his "breakup" with Megan Schroeder, which happened that same spring). Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, he began spending a good deal more money on the PSN.

In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]

=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 28 [[November 2012]], Chris has 2,997 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''

Games with over 50% progress include:

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
|"[[wikipedia:Sonic the fighters|Sonic the fighters]]"
|12
100%
|A fairly short game that can be beaten in 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|69
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
|''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
|''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
|''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
|All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
|Furries galore.
|-
|''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
|''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
|21
|100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
|15
|100%
|Grating dialogue on par with the Sonichu comics.
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
|15
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
|15
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
|14
|100%
|
|-
|''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
|14
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but IRL he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
|12
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Not unexpected.
|-
|''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
|12
|100%
|[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
|''Sonic the Hedgehog''
|12
|100%
|Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
|11
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
|[[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
|13
|100%
|A Vita tutorial.
|-
|''Sly Minigames''
|8
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently, just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''One hundred percen—!!!'' ...Oh, it's four trophies for four levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|a stalker]]. It is, however, worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
|''God of War''
|33
|82%
| Most of the trophies are simply earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
| A pretentious wagglefest that only Chris could take seriously. Several scenes of nudity: male and female.
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
|5
|80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
|35
|77%
|Guitar Hero for the preteen girl demographic.
|-
| ''The Price Is Right''
|11
|76%
| Another real [[Sonichu|masterpiece]] of hi-def gaming
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
| \m/ [[Britney Spears]]! \m/
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
|43
|72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
|10
|71%
|''NUMBLAST'' is a [[homos|colorful]] Japanese puzzle game.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
|7
|71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
|27
|71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
|36
|62%
|Sonic Kart couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to Modnation.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
|31
|58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|UNO]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Seriously? Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|360]] version (lots of naked women). Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}

Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.

=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.

Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].

==Fanboyism==
{{quote|So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.|[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.]]}}

{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}

Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].

==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
[[Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|right|[[Son-Chu]] camped outside a Playstation Cave]]

On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].

On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the MovingFoward videos, where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.

The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

== The rebirth ==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "compact" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model.

== The PS Move of Fail ==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.

Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].

== PlayStation Plus ==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.

==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

==See also==
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Pixelated PS3]] - Chris attempts to build one from [[Lego]] and [[Pixelblocks]].
* [[PS3 History Level]]
* [[PSEye]]
* [[PSP of Fail]]
* [[PSN Blogs]] - An archive of Chris's posts.
* [[Sonichu Home Club]] - Because Chris loves Sony so much, he uses their ''Second Life'' ripoff.
* [[Sony]]
* [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] - The kryptonite of Chris's video gaming.
* [[ItIsFinished.MOV]] - GAME OVER.

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Jackie E-mails 12

2012-11-29T09:45:35Z

Exball:

This page lists emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] from 31 [[August 2010]] to 2 [[September 2010]].

Chris makes up excuses for not drawing the [[pickle]]s Jackie wanted, answers a series of questions that Jackie demanded answers to in the previous e-mail:

#Chris lies, lives in denial.
#'The old data was lonely. Remaking the same save states while you're my [[sweetheart]] makes it better'
#Chris did not deliberately [[lie]] to his parents; he regular lied.
#Chris lies, lives in denial. Says he values the [[Honest Content|HONEST and TRUE]] [[fans]] and [[sweethearts]] that died for him (no mention of [[Ryan Cash|Clyde's late brother]]).
#Chris lies, claims to understand metaphors (such as satire). Chris thinks he can demand $80 for a [[Wikipedia:Sega Megadrive|Sega Genesis]].

Again, Jackie points out that Chris drew his fantasy, and had no intention of fulfilling hers, and godamnit, I'm repeating myself, why'd I decide to do this...

Jackie interprets Chris's five answers; in a relationship, how your actions are interpreted are important, on similar levels as the actual motivation. Chris is a failure on both columns.

His plan for raising money for [[Wikipedia:Otakon|Otakon]] was as follows: 'sell games for store credit, scam his parents for $200, buy a new [[PS3]]: the world is in it's rightful state.' Offers to forgo [[List of Chris's games|video games]] only if she opens her [[china]] to him constantly for a month, 24/7, or face a $50 penalty. aka 'Be a cheap whore for me, I'm not paying $100 for a prostitute.'

Jackie calls bullshit. Gives a heartfelt speech about how Chris's lack of effort/maturity is bad for their relationship, what he could do to prove himself to her, points out that he put so much effort into getting a new PS3 when he could have got a round-trip bus ticket to see Jackie, and still have plenty of change for a nice dinner at a proper restaurant for the same price.

Chris ignores that, worries momentarily about [[Patti]]'s remains. Chris's habitual purchases also include buying lottery tickets. These things are important.

{{EmailReply|August 31, 2010 - 6:29pm

The Drawing; I've just told you; that one with you and me in a Pool of water in the Hot Tub with Men and Women Jerking around us in a Circle IS the final version. You can barely see anyone [[Mass Debating|jerking off]] IN COMFORT while they're in the water; it is better done, and drawn, OUT of the water. And it is [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Uncensored]]; I can't help it if sometimes men cover the Tip of their [[Pickle|dicks]] with their own hands while masturbating.

*[[sigh]]*

I'm just tired after a long day out. No [[pickle]]-breasted woman showed up during the whole Hour I was there; from 1:30 to 2:30. I've just e-mailed [[Tito]] to be more direct; send the agent with the Cash directly to my house; I wait for his response.

I Meant what I had said in the Freedom from the addictions, AND the loneliness put into the Data that was in the [[PS3]] before the Memory Wipeout. And I meant it when my actions in destroying the console were releasing that same past Me from my life.

On the other hand, between [[Clyde]] and Tito asking for MORE evidence above [[Solid Chris|SOLID]] evidence that I've destroyed that console in [[Moving Forward]] with my life, and Frustrating me in doing More and More Destruction after the release of the Past Me, and the sense of Moving Forward in the past destruction... I detest NOT being believed in for the God Blessed [[Honest]] Truth and Emotions I've been going through the past weekend.

And now, with the chase I'm going through to get the Reward Money for You And Me in Our Future and paying off my debt to [[Bob|my father]], the emotions that remain True, I Swear to [[God]], as from the past weekend, it just frustrates me that I'm not getting the compensation that I have earned from Showing Them I Am and Have Moved Forward from the Addiction...

*sigh*

My mind is [[Autism|befuddled]].

To answer your questions.

1. I was not lying to you; I can live without [[PS3|the console]]. The only influence that has made an impression of a change is the chase for the cash reward, making me seek the "Plan B" to make even an inkling of that reward for myself.

2. As I have told you, a lot of the data is recoverable (more or less), and I did not say getting a new one would make up for the old memories; I meant that getting the replacement will create NEW memories of [[XBox is OK.MOV|the more positive Me]] that has come around since you returned to me. Another way I can put it; the Old data was lonely from not having someone to share it with; now I have you and our future to create the new memories with on there. I may or may not be making sense, but it is the honest truth from my [[heart]].

3. No, I did not deliberately lie to my parents to get a new PS3 from them. I lied to them, because if they knew the PS3 was still functional Before I destroyed it, they would feel MORE devastated and distrustful of me. I would rather they think it was a Lost Cause before the destruction.

Think of it this way, Hypothetically, [[Women's rights|let's say you had a dress that still looked great on you]] (maybe a Favorite Dress), but it was something from Last Decade and out of current fashion. Your friends tell you to burn the dress. Then you burn the dress from your friends' suggestion. You end up telling your parents of the event, but you lie about it by saying that the dress did not fit anymore; it was torn up in more ways than one and you could not fix it after trying vigorously again and again; you burn it for the views and opinions of your friends, leaving your parents thinking it was a Lost Cause anyway.

4. No, I have not been lying to my parents of [[Troll]] influence. [[Naive|I honestly feel that I have more control over myself than the trolls would]]. It is the ideas my mother and father have had in opinion of me after my Past mistakes of making the [[List of videos|terrible videos of myself]], [[Tour of Chris's House|the house tour]], [[Nudes|self-nudity]], [[For My Sweetest Ivy|etc]]. from either [[Chris humps his PS3|blackmail]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|requests from my ex-girlfriends]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|etc]].

And with that, I was very distraught after the deaths of my [[PandaHalo|past]] [[Ivy|girlfriends]]; [[Chris and remorse|it would haunt me for Weeks to Months before I would move forward.]] This also includes after [[Julie Reveals Herself|learning]] that the "Girlfriend" was actually a Troll the whole time, such as "[[Julie]]", but with those individuals, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|I recover more quickly]], because Liars and Fakes don't get as much sympathy or sadness as the [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Real, Honest People who actually have died or left me]].

5. I did not say that; Seeing you is more important to me than any video game, regardless of time or money spent on it.

And I did not mean to imply that the PS3 was an "old friend" that I've "murdered"; when I said all that, I was speaking Metaphorically.

Also, earlier today, out of frustration, and further moving forward from the addiction, I pawned off my [[Nintendo]] 64 AND all of the [[games]] and accessories. I would have also pawned off my Genesis/Sega CD/32X, but the color output was wonkey; the pawner passed on it and all of the software with it. Anyway, I got $40 for the N64 and its stuff. I'm thinking of going onto Craigslist with my Upgraded Genesis with the software bunch, or seeing if I can find someone who's hosting a yard sale in the Community Yard Sale to sell it all for me (no haggling; the price would be set for $80).

I got to go eat something for dinner, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet, 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=August 31, 2010 - 7:08pm

Chris, I asked for my drawing to be of us in a pool with a bunch of guys jerking off all around us. You drew one guy and a bunch of women. So you didn't draw my drawing, you drew something you wanted to draw instead. And begging your pardon, but I don't see why you "can't help" what the people in the drawing look like when you are the one drawing it.

[[Sigh]]...

You say you meant it when you said you were moving forward with your life. I don't care if you lie to the trolls, they haven't earned honesty from you. But I think I have. If you think you can live without the console, then why don't you try it?

Thank you for answering my questions. Let me try to respond to your answers individually:

1. So you just had a momentary influence of wanting to get the new PS3, even though getting the money is currently a problem? Does that mean you're rethinking it now, and after you get over the shock of the current situation you would rather not pursue a new PS3?

2. I think I understand what you're saying here. Although in fairness I should let you know that I'm just not really that into video games in general. When I settle down with the person I'm going to be with for the rest of my life, I certainly plan to create memories... but I hadn't planned on that being with video games. Don't get me wrong, we can play video games together. I just don't think a video game is that significant. There's a whole wide world of richer experiences that two people can share. (We certainly won't be playing video games for our first several dates, at least.)

3. This is one I still have a problem with. You're saying that you lied to your parents so you wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of them knowing a truth that they deserve to hear. Don't you see something wrong with that? If you're telling lies before your parents, you're telling lies before God. Remember the Fourth Commandment: Honor [[Bob|Thy Father]] and [[Barb|Mother]]. You are mad that the trolls don't respect the "God Blessed" truth in what you tell them, but you don't seem concerned that you are making God sad by disrespecting your parents.

Your hypothetical example is one I can understand. In fact, I've had very similar situations in my life (I usually threw out or gave away the clothes, not burned them). When I was a teenager, I was pretty flighty with my clothes; I collected way too many that I didn't need, and a lot of them just sat in my closet. My parents knew about it, because I didn't hide it from them. And eventually they started getting mad about it and lecturing me. And at the time I didn't like being lectured, but you know what? It wasn't the end of the world. And I learned a lesson: Don't throw away so much money on clothes I don't need, be more respectful of my possessions. And I'm better off for it now. Maybe if you actually owned up to your parents once in a while instead of trying to spin the truth every time you knew they would get mad, you would have learned some lessons about courage and temperance like I did.

4. Well, I guess I can understand why they're so worried about the idea of trolls influencing you. But I do think that their fears are much worse than they would be if you told them the truth and didn't leave out important facts. See, Chris? Lying to your parents to stop them from getting mad doesn't just prevent all problems - You never own up to your own actions like you should, so what choice do your parents have but to believe that you're being manipulated? You've caused them to underestimate you all by yourself.

5. I know you didn't say the words exactly, but that was the impression I was getting. Because things like going to Otakon, coming to see me, and so forth never seemed to inspire you to want to get rid of any of your video games. But now you're willing to sell off all your Nintendo 64 and other games, for the sole purpose of... obtaining another video game. Getting a PS3 inspires you to move mountains but when it comes to me, you just want to wait for me to come to you so you don't have to spend anything.

Well, anyway... I'm looking forward to seeing the shadow-interview video. You can send me a prototype again if you want so I can look it over and offer advice, before you release a final version. It might be cool if you did like a cut-away sort of thing, so the camera would be on you (Chris) while you talk, and then shift to Jinkies for his answers. Or something like that would be cool.

Also, I found this thread: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1242 
Did they dig something up in your yard? I didn't read it very closely, I didn't have a whole lot of time.

Talk to you later,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 1, 2010 - 11:47am

Well I've just took a look out back; Nothing has changed with the doghouse, and no holes were made and no ground uprooted. That dude is just blowing smoke.

I did give you a bunch of men; Four of them, Plus ONE who Came then left. It was an alternating sequence; man, woman, man, woman, etc.

Firstly, I appreciate your understanding and response to my answers to your questions. But for #5, I may have misworded it, but I literally did try to raise the money for Otakon that week; I sold a bunch of DVDs and CDs to Plan9; I ended up with a total of $40. I was still in the phase of learning to get along without the background of games and older consoles collecting dust and selling them later. And I made the money from the N64 for my saving; I still have it.

And later, I learned that GameStop was still accepting Game Boy Advance and GameCube titles, so I later rushed out with a hefty handful of them, including my secondary [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] games I realized I did not require; Sapphire, LeafGreen and Pearl, and my Nintendogs game along with the GBA and GameCube titles selected to move on from. I made $100 Store Credit. And with that credit, my family and I did sit down and discuss a loan for the remaining 200 towards the replacement PS3. They loaned it to me with the term of 100 a month for the next two months. But the point is, [[Scale of Respect|I earned a Huge Chunk of Respect]] from both my mom and dad from the effort.

I understand that counters and coincides with my past truth of getting along without it for a month. But I'll make you a deal, Jackie. Starting on the day you and I meet, I promise to go a whole month without using any of my game consoles, including Handhelds, with you as my eye-witness. If I win, nothing will change, and we will continue towards our happy future together. But if I lose, I will give you $50 cash, and we will still continue towards our happy future together. [[Chris and reality|Either way, we both win]].

I have to do some [[Chris and cinematography|light-re-situating]], but I will have the shadow interview video recorded this week.

I'm not surprised that between Tito AND Clyde, they would Not come through at all with the reward. I'll forward you new e-mails I've received recently. Tito is making up a Fictional meeting between him and me happening, when IT DID NOT. Their Agent recorded me [[Fashion_Square_Mall#Chris_captured_on_video|sitting there waiting]] and posted it onto [[YouTube]] with a damn rumor attached to it. Now they want me to Beg. I've played their Goose-Chase for long enough, and I do not want anything of this anymore. They are NOT going to give me the "reward" regardless of what I do at all. They're all bastards. I'll also have "Junior" speak ill of Tito and Clyde after what I've told him what happened. I'll even blow the lid on the recent "Bone Excavating" too.

*sigh*

You are more important to me than any video game; I WOULD move mountains to get to you, but I have my [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|financial situation]] that puts me on a fixed where affording to Immediately travel is not doable, even WITHOUT buying Anything New throughout the month. I have to eat and get gas for my car too. But Locally, I am still able to [[Best Buy|go out]], afford to treat you to [[McDonalds|good things]] on our dates, and put all of my heart and [[Semen|soul]] into it and into you. Do not ever doubt my solid emotions for you, Jacklyn. I Want You by my side As Soon As Possible and Forever after that more than any material thing in the whole world.

I gtg eat lunch, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart, 
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=September 1, 2010 - 1:09pm

The drawing was not what I asked for, pure and simple. I'm looking at it right now, there is only ONE guy in the picture, not four. Over and over you drew what you wanted to, not what I wanted. And why would I want to stare at a bunch of naked women? I'm straight, not a [[gaybian|lesbian]]. And now you're just arguing about it instead of redrawing it. I thought you liked drawing. I thought you liked drawing for ME.

Am I supposed to be proud of you for lying to me? For claiming you could go without your precious PS3 for months when you had no intention of doing so? Am I supposed to be proud that you sold some pokemon games you don't "require" for the sole purpose of buying a new console you also don't require? I don't think the "huge chunk of respect" your parents have given you is really worth anything, because it's based on lies. The lie that your PS3 died before you destroyed it, as well a the lie by omission that the trolls are manipulating you. I believe that that was their own idea, but you are conveniently letting them continue to believe it instead of owning up and explaining that destroying it was all your idea. I wouldn't be proud of earning their respect if I were you. I would be ashamed of having tricked them out of it.

I have several problems with your "deal". Firstly, please don't propose it to me as if I have already accepted it, or assuming that I will accept it. I do not accept it.

Secondly, it is not at all a deal. It is quite insulting. You are going back on your claim that you could go without your PS3 for months. [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|That was basically like a promise.]] You PROMISED me, and you are reneging on it. You talk about how the trolls are renegers for not paying you the money, but why should I care about them? YOU are the reneger, Chris. YOU are the reneger.

Thirdly, you have [[lie]]d to me numerous times, your claim that you can go without the PS3 being the most recent one. But it gets worse when you couple your lies to ME with your rationalization for lying to your PARENTS. You said that you lie to your parents to "protect" them from feeling bad about what you've done. So it's perfectly reasonable to assume that you will lie to me and claim you haven't been playing video games even though you have, isn't it? Because you will rationalize it by saying you need to "protect" me from feeling ashamed. Given that you are bargaining like an addict to get out of your promise to me to let the PS3 go, I think it's fair to assume you will continue down that path and play video games anyway, despite what your little deal promises. You know full well it is not possible for me to be your eye-witness for an entire month, Chris. I can't babysit you 24/7. You offered that specifically because you wanted to look good, you knew I would have to turn down being your eye-witness. So when I'm busy at school or out or whatever, you'll play your games carefree, then lie to me and say you haven't played them because you want to make me think I should be proud of you. Right? You know, if you've wronged someone (like your parents or me), they have a right to be mad at you. By hiding the truth from them, you are further wronging them, not protecting them.

And Fourthly, and most sadly... you're offering to bribe me with $50? I have $50 in my purse right now. I don't need your $50. I don't want your $50. What I want is a boyfriend who is willing to actually TRY to improve himself and who will hold [[true and honest]] to his promises, not abandon them when they get difficult and offer me a bribe to get out of them. How do I "win" by getting $50? Do you really think that's just as good as seeing you fight your pathetic addiction? You'd be the only one who would win, because you'd get out of Honestly Chris, you're making me cry right now.

Don't tell me your "financial situation" makes traveling impossible while at the same time you've quickly acquired $300 in order to buy your precious little video game console. Clearly your PS3 is more important to you than me. It took you weeks to get me my drawing, and even after several tries none of them were the drawing I wanted, but I bet you were still playing your PS3 for hours every day. And once your PS3 was gone, all your efforts became devoted to obtaining a replacement, while I sit here in Tennessee alone. By the way, take a look at this site: https://www.greyhound.com/farefinder/step2.aspx?Redirect=Y&Version=1.0&OriginID=330319&OriginCity=Charlottesville&OriginState=VA&DestinationID=400610&DestinationCity=Nashville&DestinationState=TN&Children=0&Legs=1&Adults=1&Seniors=0&DYear=110&DMonth=9&DDay=4&DHr=
A bus ticket from your place to where I am would only cost $118, much less than a $300 computer. And I told you you'd be staying with me and we could split even on food, and you'd be riding back with me so you wouldn't need to pay for a return bus ticket. Since a PS3 costs nearly triple a bus ticket, I guess you want a PS3 nearly three times more than you want to see me.

Since it seems to work when I make a bullet-list of specific items I want you to address, let me again write out a list of questions and comments I want you to answer:

1. I want you to tell your parents that you lied about the PS3 dying, and tell them that your PS3 was working perfectly fine when you decided to destroy it. 
2. I want you to explain how you think I am supposed to feel about the fact that you never intended to keep your promise to me of going without the PS3 for months. 
3. I want you to explain to me how you think God feels about your lies to me and to your parents. 
4. I want you to explain to me how you think God feels about your gluttonous addiction problem, and your unwillingness to treat it. 
5. I want you to explain how your devotion to obtaining a new PS3 and your total unwillingness to consider coming to see me are not clear signs that you prefer video games over me. 
6. Most importantly... I want you to go til New Years before getting a new PS3. That's January 1, 2011. That's four months away. You promised you could go for months, so show it.

Notice how that list doesn't have anything about me wanting you to come to visit me in Tennessee? That's because I don't want a guy to come visit me when it's obvious he doesn't really want to see me. It's sad, it really is. I thought you cared about me. But you aren't willing to actually pay anything to do see me. Not like you're willing to pay for your PS3. I'd love to have you here with me, I thought we could maybe have our first time together even. But if you don't want to be with me, there's nothing to be gained by trying to coerce you.

I want so much for this to work, Chris. I've been trying so hard. But what signs have you given me? What work have you done for me? Why are you not willing to show me anything but empty promises that you immediately back out on when they become inconvenient? Do you think a girlfriend is something you can just shut out when she becomes inconvenient? I guess I'll be sitting here alone til the end of my trip then, unless you care to prove me wrong. I promise I'll call you when I get home. Although given how little promises mean to you, maybe you won't mind if they start to mean as little to me, too. If you want me to feel differently, you'll have to actually do something to show me.

Talk to you later,

Jackie

P.S. You complain about the trolls blowing smoke to you, but it seems like you've been blowing a lot of smoke to me this whole time.}}

{{Email|1=September 1, 2010 - 3:38pm

By the way, I suggest you look harder where they said they dug up your [[dog]]. You say you took one glance and then ignored it, but they specifically said they were careful to leave no trace. Doesn't your deceased dog deserve at least as much time as your deceased PS3? http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=95

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 2, 2010 - 11:06am

Chris, where have you been? I didn't hear from you at all yesterday, is everything alright? I'm starting to get a little worried.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 2, 2010 - 3:35pm

I'm sorry for not replying yesterday. In the morning, I had to hang with my mother while she went in for her liver checkup (I think that's what it was about), and she gave a bit of blood shortly before as well. We had some breakfast (she ate later), and met my father at the usual gas station where he buys his weekly lottery tickets. [[Chris and money|I invest $4 weekly]] between Win For Life and Mega Millions; two plays each.

And in the afternoon, I hung with my father for lunch. And redownloaded all of the update data for my PS3 disc games ([[Eye of Judgment]] was the longest to update, so I watched Disc 8 of the "[[Wikipedia:Daria|Daria]]" DVD set; it included the final two episodes and both movies during that update. I felt sleepiest during the 7:00 PM hour while Motorsorm was updating, and I was given the option to restart my PS3, so I shut it down for the night and crashed.

Today so far, I went with my father for [[Burger King|morning coffee]], and just got back from sharing a baked potato with him at [[Wendys]] and walking around Food Lion for a bit. I finished the Disc Game Updates, now I'm working on the Download Games and Add-Ons; I had redownloaded all of the [[LittleBigPlanet|LBP]] and [[ModNation Racers|MNR]] DLC, Premium and Dynamic Themes and Avatars First Items right after booting up the new PS3 and reformatting the 500GB HDD.

Aside from that, in response to your concerns about [[Patti]], and they go greatly appreciated. Thank you. :) But I did not just glance over the area, I went over it extensively; I saw NO difference from past times at all. So, you have no need to worry. And I've read the Forum topic more; they're just blowing smoke, making up crap. Besides which, for your information and Confidential, Patti was buried in the cardboard box the vet put her in, encased with a re-enforced Solid Wooden Crate my father and I put together with screws and nails, and was buried with the two Towels we had to use the day she died to clean her with. And with all that, A) they would NOT be able to "polish" the bones, because the flesh and fur would still be plentiful on the body. B) The bones would NOT be covered in Dirt and Soil, because of the body being in a cardboard box, encased in a Nailed and Screwed Wooden Crate with No Holes. And C) there are a LOT of Trees and Branches surrounding the Doghouse and Cement Blocks that rest over her buried, enclosed, secured body, so there is Very Little Chance of ANYONE getting to the doghouse and moving it. Plus, there are some Poison Ivy in that area. So, ANY photos they would have taken would have Flesh and Fur on those Bones, and the Crate, Nails, Screws and Box the body was in. Their photograph is of some other damn sack of bones from some other dirt site. Plus they do not mention Anything of the Crate and the Trees, OR even the Gazebo.

I still yearn for you by my side, Jacklyn. Is there any update on When you'll be returning to [[Virginia]], so we can schedule the Date? I want you here Badly. You give me the shine in my days that make them better with your sweetness and understandings. You are SOO Cool, [[Sweetheart]].

Please let me know in your reply.

Stay Safe and Sweet, 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=September 2, 2010 - 3:55pm

So you got a new PS3 afterall?

Actually, I decided to come home early. I got in early this morning. I was thinking about calling you, but since you decided that re-downloading the same baby games you've already played hundreds of hours in was so important that you couldn't spare ten minutes to write me an email yesterday, I'm not sure when I'll call you. When I didn't hear from you I thought that maybe my email was too "[[stress]]ful" for you to read and you decided to simply ignore me. I have stuff I can do that's more important than a guy who doesn't care about me.

Clearly, since you had a choice between writing to me and playing your PS3, and you chose the PS3, that means the PS3 is the "shine in your days". I am obviously not. I'm not a hamster, Chris. You can't trick me just by repeating words that you think sound romantic. If you ever want me "at your side", you will answer every item on the list I just sent you for the second time. You will DO SOMETHING to show me that you care rather than just repeating EMPTY WORDS. How many times must I tell you that it is SOO OBVIOUS that your words don't mean anything alone?

Please don't talk to me about your father or what cartoons you watch when you completely ignored the serious letter that I spent over an hour writing to you. I'll repost it below, and if you actually care about me at all, you'll actually read the whole thing and respond to it this time.

The drawing was not what I asked for, pure and simple. I'm looking at it right now, there is only ONE guy in the picture, not four. Over and over you drew what you wanted to, not what I wanted. And why would I want to stare at a bunch of naked women? I'm straight, not a lesbian. And now you're just arguing about it instead of redrawing it. I thought you liked drawing. I thought you liked drawing for ME.

Am I supposed to be proud of you for lying to me? For claiming you could go without your precious PS3 for months when you had no intention of doing so? Am I supposed to be proud that you sold some pokemon games you don't "require" for the sole purpose of buying a new console you also don't require? I don't think the "huge chunk of respect" your parents have given you is really worth anything, because it's based on lies. The lie that your PS3 died before you destroyed it, as well a the lie by omission that the trolls are manipulating you. I believe that that was their own idea, but you are conveniently letting them continue to believe it instead of owning up and explaining that destroying it was all your idea. I wouldn't be proud of earning their respect if I were you. I would be ashamed of having tricked them out of it.

I have several problems with your "deal". Firstly, please don't propose it to me as if I have already accepted it, or assuming that I will accept it. I do not accept it.

Secondly, it is not at all a deal. It is quite insulting. You are going back on your claim that you could go without your PS3 for months. That was basically like a promise. You PROMISED me, and you are reneging on it. You talk about how the
trolls are renegers for not paying you the money, but why should I care about them? YOU are the reneger, Chris. YOU are the reneger.

Thirdly, you have lied to me numerous times, your claim that you can go without the PS3 being the most recent one. But it gets worse when you couple your lies to ME with your rationalization for lying to your PARENTS. You said that you lie to your parents to "protect" them from feeling bad about what you've done. So it's perfectly reasonable to assume that you will lie to me and claim you haven't been playing video games even though you have, isn't it? Because you will rationalize it by saying you need to "protect" me from feeling ashamed. Given that you are bargaining like an addict to get out of your promise to me to let the PS3 go, I think it's fair to assume you will continue down that path and play video games anyway, despite what your little deal promises. You know full well it is not possible for me to be your eye-witness for an entire month, Chris. I can't babysit you 24/7. You offered that specifically because you wanted to look good, you knew I would have to turn down being your eye-witness. So when I'm busy at school or out or whatever, you'll play your games carefree, then lie to me and say you haven't played them because you want to make me think I should be proud of you. Right? You know, if you've wronged someone (like your parents or me), they have a right to be mad at you. By hiding the truth from them, you are further wronging them, not protecting them.

And Fourthly, and most sadly... you're offering to bribe me with $50? I have $50 in my purse right now. I don't need your $50. I don't want your $50. What I want is a boyfriend who is willing to actually TRY to improve himself and who will hold true and honest to his promises, not abandon them when they get difficult and offer me a bribe to get out of them. How do I "win" by getting $50? Do you really think that's just as good as seeing you fight your pathetic addiction? You'd be the only one who would win, because you'd get out of Honestly Chris, you're making me cry right now.

Don't tell me your "financial situation" makes traveling impossible while at the same time you've quickly acquired $300 in order to buy your precious little video game console. Clearly your PS3 is more important to you than me. It took you weeks to get me my drawing, and even after several tries none of them were the drawing I wanted, but I bet you were still playing your PS3 for hours every day. And once your PS3 was gone, all your efforts became devoted to obtaining a replacement, while I sit here in Tennessee alone. By the way, take a look at this site: https://www.greyhound.com/farefinder/step2.aspx?Redirect=Y&Version=1.0&OriginID=330319&OriginCity=Charlottesville&OriginState=VA&DestinationID=400610&DestinationCity=Nashville&DestinationState=TN&Children=0&Legs=1&Adults=1&Seniors=0&DYear=110&DMonth=9&DDay=4&DHr=
A bus ticket from your place to where I am would only cost $118, much less than a $300 computer. And I told you you'd be staying with me and we could split even on food, and you'd be riding back with me so you wouldn't need to pay for a return bus ticket. Since a PS3 costs nearly triple a bus ticket, I guess you want a PS3 nearly three times more than you want to see me.

Since it seems to work when I make a bullet-list of specific items I want you to address, let me again write out a list of questions and comments I want you to answer:

1. I want you to tell your parents that you lied about the PS3 dying, and tell them that your PS3 was working perfectly fine when you decided to destroy it. 
2. I want you to explain how you think I am supposed to feel about the fact that you never intended to keep your promise to me of going without the PS3 for months. 
3. I want you to explain to me how you think [[God]] feels about your lies to me and to your parents. 
4. I want you to explain to me how you think God feels about your gluttonous addiction problem, and your unwillingness to treat it. 
5. I want you to explain how your devotion to obtaining a new PS3 and your total unwillingness to consider coming to see me are not clear signs that you prefer video games over me. 
6. Most importantly... I want you to go til New Years before playing your PS3. That's January 1, [[2011]]. That's four months away. You promised you could go for months, so show it.

Notice how that list doesn't have anything about me wanting you to come to visit me in Tennessee? That's because I don't want a guy to come visit me when it's obvious he doesn't really want to see me. It's sad, it really is. I thought you cared about me. But you aren't willing to actually pay anything to do see me. Not like you're willing to pay for your PS3. I'd love to have you here with me, I thought we could maybe have our first time together even. But if you don't want to be with me, there's nothing to be gained by trying to coerce you.

I want so much for this to work, Chris. I've been trying so hard. But what signs have you given me? What work have you done for me? Why are you not willing to show me anything but empty promises that you immediately back out on when they become inconvenient? Do you think a girlfriend is something you can just shut out when she becomes inconvenient? I guess I'll be sitting here alone til the end of my trip then, unless you care to prove me wrong. I promise I'll call you when I get home. Although given how little promises mean to you, maybe you won't mind if they start to mean as little to me, too. If you want me to feel differently, you'll have to actually do something to show me.

Talk to you later,

Jackie

P.S. You complain about the trolls blowing smoke to you, but it seems like you've been blowing a lot of smoke to me this whole time.

P.P.S. Dogs decompose when they die. If you loved your dog, you wouldn't just assume it was all safe and go play your little video games.}}

{{Email|September 2, 2010 - 3:57pm

Chris, I just sent you a very long email, but honestly I have a feeling you'll just ignore it because it takes too many minutes to read, so I'm sending you this short one to make sure you understand me: Read the entirety of that long email, think about it, and respond to EVERY ONE of my questions and concerns. I don't care if it takes you two hours to do this, you do it. Or I'm through with you.

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 12]]

Jackie E-mails 11

2012-11-28T09:14:40Z

Exball:

This page covers emails exchanged between [[Chris]] and [[Jackie]] from 28-31 [[August 2010]].

PS3-smashing, Chris honors his Cherokee heritage by having them masturbate around him, in a picture titled "Unga Bunga", a stereotypical '[[Niggos|jungle niggo]]' chant. Chris is still a Pagan/Christian shaman. Also, again, Chris's fantasy, not Jackie's.

Chris is traumatized by the loss of his beloved HONEST and TRUE love: his PS3. Cheats on its still-warm corpse with that slut, Nintendo Wii. Dreams of being a 8-14-year old prince, talking of Yoshi, and his babysitter calling Yoshi a gay icon, with King Clyde (who would then be his father), and his thinly-veiled mole persona as his twin, referencing ''The Prince and the Pauper''. The pathos of this, as well as the rest of the dream, is unclear. Jackie is equally confused.

Chris is in a panic to replace his PS3 at first opportunity, calls Barbara a slow-in-the-mind, Barbara watches Chris sleep.

Chris cheats on the 'circlejerk' remake; refuses to draw Non-Cherokee pickles, adds an Asian woman. Jackie insists on non-Jewish ducks. She talks about how he speaks about his shattered heart over losing his Sweetheart-from-the-ground-up, PS3. Perhaps if Chris had seen ''Weird Science'', the Chris Saga may have ended with the most hilarious self-electrocution ever.

{{EmailReply|August 28, 2010 - 4:41pm

I have already [[The MovingFoward videos|created the video]] myself before I read your e-mail; I decided to do it myself anyway; no mask or anything; just total full-force and personal actions. I am uploading the video now, and the Mega Upload will send the link to Clyde right after full Upload, and I have sent him a message informing him of the video, with 3 Post Damage photos; I will forward you the e-mail shortly. And the link is below.

I'm trusting [[Clyde]] to come through on the deal, and if not, I can buy another [[PS3]] in a couple of months myself. I've checked a local [[GameStop]]; the 60GB, 4 USB, PS2-Backward-Compatible, Memory Card Slotted, Wi-Fi, Thick PS3 I had just smashed is priced Highest of the USED PS3s at 349.99. And I can get a used 80GB, 4 USB, PS2-Backward-Compatible, Memory Card Slotted, Wi-Fi, Thick PS3 for 299.99, granted on them having one in stock. A couple of days? I can go for months if I have to. I gave Clyde a week to snail-mail me the Cash.

I will get right to work on the drawing for you.

Let me just go ahead and check in, are you and I set to meet on Friday, [[September 2010|September 3, 2010]] as I have estimated, or are you planning on visiting your friend for longer? The location and time is still set for the Starbucks next to the [[China]] King Buffet at 1:00 PM; please feel free to be early. I will recognize your face from the one in the photo I still have on my [[PSP]]. If I fail to recognize you possibly in the crowd, I'm sure you'll recognize my face. Or, I can meet you outside in front of the Starbucks, waiting by the gate there, or hanging by either you by your drop-off vehicle, or me by [[Son-Chu|my Escort]].

Please let me know in your reply.

I'll e-mail you the drawing tonight; right now, I'm going to take a shower.

TTYL. 
Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=August 28, 2010 - 5:33pm

Hey, Chris.

Hey, you know, it looked like you weren't hitting the PS3 as hard as you could in the video. I think you need to do a much better job if you want that reward money.

I found this video of a girl destroying her PS3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJVBsUX-zCM
Look at how she does it and take notes. She's like one third your size but she manages to put some effort into it.

Take it outside again, but this time, really smash it up. Take apart all of the components and smash them individually. The [[troll]]s aren't going to believe it's truly destroyed, so they might not pay you until you actually destroy it. So here's what you do: make another video wherein you put it on your driveway, and run it over with you car. Run it over a few times, back and forth, just to ensure. And then, you know what you could do? Tie it to the back of your car, and then set your camera onto your back seat so that as you drive along, they can see the ruined remains of the PS3 being dragged on the road. I mean, this is a lot of money, you can afford to put some effort in it.

Oh crap, I was just going to talk about some other stuff but I forgot what time it was, I have to go out. But hey, get the new video done as soon as you can. I look forward to seeing it!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 28, 2010 - 6:33pm

The Topic page specifically stated, "With a Brick". I'll add more damage tomorrow; there goes Plan "c"; selling it for parts.

Anyway, here are some Native American [[Cherokian Clan|Cerokees]] dancing and banging around us.}}

{{EmailReply|August 28, 2010 - 11:04pm

Taken Care Of, [[Sweetheart]].}}

{{Email|1=August 29, 2010 - 4:16pm

Wow Chris, that's a neat drawing! I'm curious, what inspired you to draw native americans around us in a forest? Well, now that you've given me this little teaser, I'm looking forward even more to seeing my drawing of us in the pool with the circle jerk. You know just how to get my motor going! ;) Are you still planning to have that to me by 9pm tonight?

So I really like the job you did on smashing up the PS3. Looks like you really came through. Thanks for forwarding me all your correspondences with the trolls. I'm curious, what made you decide to send the video to them as yourself? I thought the point of having Jenkins Jinkies was that you could do it as him, instead of as yourself. I hope they still send you the money now. I mean, their whole purpose is to troll you, so why would they send you money? Wasn't the purpose of this whole thing to reverse-troll them by getting their money and THEN revealing yourself? I'm confused.

Also, I notice you gave them an ultimatum of one week to get the money to you, or else you won't endorse the video? I don't get what you mean, you sent them the video, they have it, right? You say the troll will be labeled "a man of no word" if you don't back it up, but I don't see why they need you to admit its real when the video itself is proof. If you don't get the money within a week, what exactly will you do? You know, you could make a video of yourself to reinforce your ultimatum, I guess. It might sound stronger if they see and hear your resolution, then if they only read the words in an email. Because I was kind of confused when I read it, and I think they might be too, but we all know how strong you can look when you put your full force into it. I'd sure love to see you flex your might for them, sweetie. ;)

Speaking of reward money, I looked at the thread again to see if they mention it. I didn't see anything about your PS3, but I saw this guy got like $1500 for drawing [[Asperchu]], here: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=86&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15
Isn't that the guy whose drawings I confused to be yours a while back? Wow, these trolls must really love his comics. Did you ever try to get payment from them for your [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] comic? I thought the reward money was all about trolling, but I guess they pay artists, too.

Well, anyway... How does it feel to not have your PS3 anymore?? It must be kind of exciting to have that monkey off your back. What have you been doing with your time? Going outside more? I know it's only been not even a day since you did it but I bet the world just feels cleaner and brighter for you now. What are you going to do with yourself now that you don't have the PS3? Ooh, have you thought more about doing that ghost story video? But probably better do the ultimatum video too, that's probably more important now. I can't wait to see it!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 29, 2010 - 9:01pm

Actually, that drawing of the Native Americans WAS the Circle-Jerking drawing; did you not see them jerking off while you and I were having intercourse? I just could not get the Circle-Jerking to happen in my head at the Pool, but I felt more able to with a different public setting. Also, I thought I had mentioned that I am 1/16th Chrokee, but anyway that was an inspiration behind the Native Americans.

I did not want Junior to get the credit for the footage, so I went ahead and did the whole thing myself and went straight to Clyde Cash with the known e-mail address I still had.

At least the battle with Clyde is won; but now his sword is handed to "[[Surfshack Tito]]", as it is detailed [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|in an e-mail from Him]]. I may have to reveal that I was Junior Jenkins the whole time. *sigh* But then again, Clyde's order is Above Tito's, so there's a chance. I will reply to him and see how he replies.

Right now, getting the cash for You, Me and my family is more important, and I wish to concentrate on that before I troll them any further. Although, I swore to God that if I get the Cash from them for real, I would Forgive ALL of the Trolls and [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour|remove my curses from them]] (likely in another video). So with that, I feel uncertain of continuing to troll them back after since I would finally see compensation for the [[Laughs Under Lucricities|pains and anguish]] from the past three years. I know I could get more, but in this situation, it is "[[Chris and Money|Take what I can get]]" in this "Dog Eat [[Dog]]" world.

Let me get back with you on the Trolling Topics later on.

Post-Destruction, I still feel shook up, but [[High-Functioning Autistic|functional]]. I am finding side-comfort in my [[Wii]] for the moment, and I've been watching [[television]] and DVDs from my DVD Burner instead. Outside Social activities were low as far as I know, but I'll go out for a while tomorrow. And I went out to [[church]] this morning. I did not get any sleep last night. I had a crazy mental moment of the loss energized by coffee on the way to Church. When changing DVDs earlier, I looked up to put the DVD into my PS3, only to find it was not there, while my Burner was below with its tray open. I fell asleep after the earlier communication with Clyde at about 1 or 1:30; would have fallen asleep sooner, but Clyde got me keyed up with his disbelief. I had some sort of a dream where it was a [[Wikipedia:The Prince and the Pauper|Prince and Pauper]] situation with me replacing the Prince; it was confusing and [[stress]]-filled as I surrounded with [[Trolls|people]] who had VERY Little Understanding of me as I talked good of Yoshi the Dragon when the Prince's [[babysitter]] referred to Mario's dragon friend as a damned [[homos]]exual icon. I do not believe that, but the subtext is clear to me. I am disguised as the Prince of the non-existent "Junior Jenkins" in the Kingdom of Trolls, and the [[Anne Boleyn|Royalty of the Kingdom]] will be finding out eventually or soon that their [[Liquid Chris|Crowned Prince is a Fake]].

*sigh*

Anyway, PLEASE Inform me of the Confirmation of our Date on Friday in your reply. And thank you for your continued support throughout this ordeal. It means a Lot to me. :)

TTYL. 
Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 29, 2010 - 10:16pm

I was also curious, why did you name the picture "Unga Bunga"? I'm not really sure what that means, is that Cherokee for something? And I was hoping you would draw MY fantasy though, not your Cherokee one. Wasn't that kind of what you promised? To draw my fantasy? I'm kind of sad, I've been waiting all this time for the drawing of my fantasy that you promised, and then you delivered something else entirely. I'm kind of disappointed.

So how come you didn't want to credit Jenkies, though? Wasn't the point to convince them that a troll had finally destroyed your PS3, and then dash their triumph and show them up? I mean, if they had sent the money to a person they thought was a troll and then it turned out you hoodwinked them out of their money, that would have been the greatest victory ever. But now that you sent it to them as yourself, well, I just don't get why they would willingly send money to the person they mean to troll in the first place. I mean, the point behind tricking them was because they presumably wouldn't send money to Chris. I just don't really get your reasoning, but I guess if they end up paying you, it all works out.

Your prince and the pauper story sounds really interesting, but I don't really understand what you mean about it? Could you be more specific? Tell me how the story relates to what's going on in your dream. Like, what were the people talking to you about when they didn't understand you? And who is Yoshi the dragon, I don't remember him from that story? And what about this babysitter? I don't remember a babysitter from the story either. Could you explain a bit more about what you mean?

Anyway, you know I never actually specified that I would be available for next Friday for our meeting. I said that I would be home around this time, but I never confirmed which day, you just kind of assumed that yourself. You seem to have a habit of just making plans for the both of us without really confirming it with me Chris, even though I've only ever really given a rough date of my return. I'm unfortunately still not sure which exact date and time I will be back. But I'll keep you informed. In the meantime, when are you going to get my drawing to me?

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 30, 2010 - 12:38am

Well, perhaps I misunderstood on the Circle Jerking having to happen at a pool, but I will draw it for you, and I will get to you by tomorrow night. "Unga Bunga" was just an expression I [[Random Access Humor|randomly]] picked for the natives to chant as they jerked off. In all fairness, though, you did say Circle Jerking, and I delivered. But I will do it over for you in the pool, Sweetheart.

The original point was having a Troll Be Witness to the Smashings; not having the Troll do it themselves and get the credit. But I had a change of heart and decided to take the credit for myself; it also gives off the true impressions that you're proud of me for. ;)

You're right, I was assuming the date, but I did not make it concrete for myself yet. Which was why I kept checking in with you on the details from your end to confirm the assumptions and make them fact or not. I've been waiting for the details of your return date, so we can set the final details of When we're going to plan to meet. I will continue to wait patiently for you, as well as the details straight from you.

Yoshi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoshi) is the Dragon that Super Mario has rode on since the Super Nintendo game, "[[Wikipedia:Super Mario World|Super Mario World]]".

For the dream, I don't remember verbatim what the royal servants of the Prince said (Babysitter; Nanny; the Woman who looks after the Prince and/or Princess for the King and Queen in the castle or such); In this case, the prince was about somewhere between 8 and 14 years old. To relate it to the Troll situation, think of Junior as the Prince with Clyde as King (and optionally Tito for the advisory), and everyone else the remaining servants; take your pick who fills in for the Queen and the Nanny. Like in the "Prince & the Pauper" story, I switch roles with Junior and pretend to be him, and with my mental state being different, everyone OF the Prince communicates with me like I was He and not Myself. Eventually the error catches on in the Court, I am exposed as a Fraudulent Prince, and the truth is all out there. Eventually, I will have to inform the Trolls I've been pretending to be one of them under the Fabrication of the character, Junior Jenkins.

I don't think I can explain it better than that.

Also, and I'll forward you the e-mail shortly, but I'm to meet one of the Trolls in [[Charlottesville]] tomorrow and receive the Cash in person.

[[Slow in the mind|I'm mentally blanking out at the moment]].

I'll offer more thoughts for you later. (TTYL)

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 30, 2010 - 2:42pm

Chris, I was very specific in my fantasy when I described it to you. Look, here's what I wrote, quoting myself:

"Can you show me a preview by drawing us together in a pool? We would just be tearing at each other; but then we get caught! A bunch of guys come in surrounding the pool and just stare at us, but we're so enamored with each other, making such passionate love, that we just don't care and we keep going! And then all the guys get turned on by watching us, and they start jacking themselves off into the pool..."

So yeah, I'm wondering if you could re-do the drawing for me? You did deliver the circle jerking but not the pool part. The guys don't have to be native american or anything, but that was a nice touch that you did, I like that you think of those kind of details :) [[Chris and art|A lot of artists who don't care about their work tend to just put the minimum detail they can, poor proportions, coloring outside the lines, blank white backgrounds, things like that.]] It's nice to see you care enough to do a good job and make it look nice. <3

I guess maybe I missed something when I was reading the correspondences between you and the trolls; I was going off of what that forum thread said. The title was "Reward for Trolling", and the $9,001 was for your PS3 being destroyed, so I assumed that meant it had to be an act of trolling, I didn't see where it said that it could just be a troll bearing witness to you doing it. But it doesn't matter, sounds like they're paying you anyway. Whoo, I was worried they were going to renege. (Then you could call them pickle-suited reneggers ;) But I guess you're off to the mall right about now to collect the money? Awesome! Let me know how it goes!

I noticed in one of the emails to them that you said you would curse them if they didn't come through? That's another thing that probably would be best reinforced by more than writing. You said you met Jinkins Jinkies too? Lol.

Well anyway, let me know how the meeting goes!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 30, 2010 - 3:40pm

I went to the mall; I got there right before 1:30 PM, had a chicken sandwich and some water. I waited until 2:10, and nobody showed up. I just got back home; Tito has sent me his reply, being an arrogant son of a bitch (I'll forward the two e-mails to you shortly). It looks like they're Not going to pay me.

And the bastard even makes a claim saying that he Talked to Junior and got a Reply out of him that he did not make an alliance with me (something like that). How could he get a reply from a Non-Existent Troll? The Bastard is Lying right through his Teeth just to NOT pay me at all. >:(

I have formulated an idea; I'll make an Audio recording file of a conversation between me and Junior. In this case, I'll add that he has NOT received communication from Tito at all, and disagree with what he said. I'll also state that because I did not receive my "reward"/compensation, I will call Clyde a [[List of Chris's lies|Cheap, Lying Bastard]] with FALSE Reward Posts. And also state that aside from Junior, ALL Trolls are still Cursed. I'll work on the audio recording later (after I rest for an hour, then redraw our pooling circle jerk).

Fresh Idea: I'll forward Tito's messages to Clyde and see how he responds.

I'll replace my PS3 as soon as possible, but Smashing it for this venture that has emotionally tortured me the past weekend was a Big Mistake. I'll start by seeing what else I can pawn off. And I understand my neighborhood will be having a community yard sale (individual yard sales from each house within the subdivision) this coming weekend; I'll host one in my yard and see if I can make some green selling the majority of [[my Little Pony]] collection, including the pricey castle, Butterfly Island playset, etc. I REALLY did not need the huge playsets. :( At least I kept all of the parts and pieces for each of them. And I'm sure I can add a bunch of other stuff to my lot.

I'm feeling crestfallen, but I'll recover again and move forward.

I'll tell you something else, Jackie, I even had the thoughts of, after getting the 9 Grand in my hands, traveling to Tennessee and meeting you there. I really would have set things up between you and me to do that if I had the money. But you will be returning to [[Virginia]] soon, and our date location is still set; it's the When that is still in question.

I long for you to be here for me to share sweet emotions with. You warm my heart up. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet, 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 30, 2010 - 4:43pm

Hey Sweetie!!

You only waited ten minutes past the meeting time? What if the guy was just running late? For nine thousand dollars I could think you would wait a little longer. It's not like you had some pressing appointment to get to afterward.

Uh... this Tito guy said he talked to Jinkies? How is that possible? I don't like the sound of that Chris. I mean, why would he bother making up a lie about talking to Jinkies when he could just decide to withhold the money? Obviously it couldn't be exactly what he says, because YOU'RE Jinkies, but this sounds really weird. It sounds like Tito talked to someone, at any rate.

I like your idea about the recording between you and Jinkies, but I think it should be a video. Have you ever seen those interviews like on [[Wikipedia:60 Minutes|60 Minutes]] where the person being interviewed wants to be anonymous, so they have them in a dark silhouette and alter their voice so they can't be identified? You should do a video like that, where YOU (Chris) are "offscreen", talking to JINKIES, who is sitting in the shadow onscreen. Like, you would be talking to him in your normal voice, asking him questions about his recent activity, whether he met with Tito, and how you've buried the hatchet with him, and then "he" responds in a deeper voice or something. Make sure that when you (Chris) are talking, try to keep your jaw still, as even if you're silhouetted in darkness you don't want people to see "Jinkies'" jaw moving, it would look weird. Maybe you could even have Jinkies perform the curse on the trolls, just to cement it all. I do hope you get the money, use the interview video to sway them and let me know what you and Tito decide on.

Why do you think smashing the PS3 was a mistake? I mean, it would be great to get that reward money, but I thought your main purpose was to do it as a symbol of severing your enslavement to [[video games]]? I think this was a major step forward for you, whether or not you got money for it. But one thing I'm confused about is, how do you intend to replace the PS3 right now? They cost like $300, right? You said you have like $40 saved for a date with me, correct? And your father takes most of your welfare check now, so you only take away like $100 for yourself every month, right? So it would take like three months to save enough money to be able to get a new console, and that's only if you spend absolutely nothing on anything else in that time. (Or I guess maybe less time, depending on how much of your other stuff you sell off.) I mean, I know I said I wouldn't be bothered if you got a new PS3, but that was assuming that you got this $9,000, which would be more than enough to spend some on your games. I'm just confused why your only goal now is to replace the PS3 when at the immediate moment you have pretty much no money. I mean, you weren't nearly this eager to sell stuff when the goal was to pay for a ticket to Otakon. And besides, just a couple emails ago you told me that you could easily go for months before getting another console, so why the rush now? Didn't you mean what you said?

You know sweetie, I would LOVE if you came to Tennessee to see me!! I'm still going to be here for a few more days, but you know what? If you were to come visit me, maybe we could extend our stay there a couple more days and you could stay with me, and I could show you around, and we could have some "alone" time together? <3 <3 <3 If you don't want to drive your car for so far, I'm sure you could get a fairly cheap deal on a greyhound bus ride. You'd be staying with me when you get here, so the only real cost is travel. For a bus ride, that'd be definitely a LOT less than a new PS3. (At least if you were going to get a new console, I'd recommend an [[Xbox 360]]. Say what you will about Microsoft, but the fact is, they don't have nearly as many software glitches like the ones you were having in your PS3.)

So which would you rather spend money on, Chris? Replacing an old video game console that you destroyed because you didn't need it in the first place, or coming to spend a weekend alone with me? What's more important to you, sweetie? :) :)

I know you'll make the right decision, honey. <3 <3 <3

Jackie

P.S. Hey, when can I expect my pool drawing delivered to me? I've been waiting for ages.}}

{{EmailReply|August 30, 2010 - 11:45pm

As it was made clear in Tito's latest e-mail, which I've just forwarded to you. I'll still wait until I have the cash in my hands before going through with plans.

You are more important; I would make the trip over a new PS3. But all things considered, until confirmation of details, I'll continue to wait until you return to Charlottesville. However, if I do get the cash this time, I'll ask you to telephone and talk to me and my parents before driving my car there.

I've informed [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] of the past weekend's events, but I softened the blow for her elder mind by telling her the console [[Chris and death|died]] before I destroyed (in a way, it is still true; I had killed the majority of the data, so it was equally dead). And I added that I tried to restore it back from the dead, including with surgery, and a check-up with a Geek Squad person at [[Best Buy]]. I felt their respect for me would be worse if I had told them of the fact that it was still operational, and considerably murdered it in cold blood (even though it was more with spirit, since I have come to terms with the loss of my Lonely, Anguished self contained within that shell).

I crashed myself at about 7:00 last night and fell asleep. I awoke three hours later, finding my mother sitting in my chair in my view. She was emotionally torn up over me destroying the console for the Trolls' entertainment; she and dad are under an impression that the Trolls were controlling me. I understand and helped her through her emotions and tears. I drove her to [[Wal-Mart]] and walked with her by her side to relieve her pain. I was just doing what a good child would do for their parent.

Also, on the side, she said she was willing to loan me $50 towards a replacement PS3 (I'm not going to get an [[XBox]]; I would not get one even if I did Not hate it. It has a LOT of its own troubles, including the constant "Red Ring of Deaths", plus it is not as Hi-Definition capable as the PS3, and it does not play DVDs or Blu-Rays by Default; an expensive accessory is required for the DVDs). And I went to VA Blood Services this afternoon to check on me winning that $50 GameStop Gift Card; it turns out, as told to me by a woman who was there the day of the tournament a couple of weeks ago, I Did win it. Then she told me to check with the F.Square GameStop on claiming it. The recognizable employee who was there Tournament Day too informed me that it's all still going under Red Tape, and I will be contacted to claim my prize soon. I gave him my Cell Number to contact me with when he learns more on that. So, that's another relief; the variable is WHEN I get the card.

I am more awake, and it'll be a short while before I'll feel sleepy again and crash, so I will get to work on that drawing for you right after I finish this message. And I will send you the drawing either later this morning or during the night at the latest. And I will inform you of tomorrow's happenings if applicable.

The Shadow-Interview is a great idea. I'll record my voice to ask the questions, and I'll respond as Junior. But I'll wait further until the money status is confirmed. If I get the money, I'll be more kind to the trolls.

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Safe and Sweet, 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.

P.S. 
A phone call from you to my cell phone soon, so I can talk to you and hear your voice would be appreciated. Are you still on the Pay-As-You-Go plan?}}

{{EmailReply|August 31, 2010 - 1:04am

I just could not figure out how to do it with a big pool, so I thought of using a Hot Tub for you and me. It is still good; you and I are in a Pool of Water. And there are the men and women jerking off at us, including an [[Chris and Race#Asians|asian]] woman, and one dude came and left. Enjoy.

I'm feeling sleepy again, so I'm going to try for some more needed sleep. I did not get any sleep Sunday night.

Stay Safe and Sweet, 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 31, 2010 - 5:22pm

Hey Chris! Thanks for another preview drawing. You're enticing me so much with all these little teasers. But I'm still looking forward to the final product, with all the guys jerking off around us in a pool, just like I said. (You know, it might even be sexy if a few of the guys are uncut! Make sure you put enough detail into the penises so it's clearly made out :)

But, on a sadder note, let's talk a little more about this PS3 thing.

I'm not sure I understand why you lied to your mother about what you did. I thought it was a gesture of freeing yourself from addiction to video games. I notice that when I made that comment in my last email, you didn't really respond to it. Was it about overcoming video games? Or did you only do it for the money? Because a few emails ago you wrote me a very (seemingly) heartfelt paragraph explaining in detail how you no longer needed video games because you had seen how much better life could be. When I said it might be a few days before you got the money, you told me confidently that you could "go for months" before getting a new console. When I read these things from you I believed them, Chris. So I ask again, what has changed? Were you lying to me when you said you didn't need the PS3? Please respond to these questions of mine this time, as I think this is important to talk about.

Another thing I am concerned about, and this is much more disturbing, is the attachment you show to your console in this latest email. You say you tried to "restore it back from the [[dead]]", including with "surgery". You say that you "murdered your PS3 in cold blood". Chris, a PS3 cannot die because it is not alive. Surgery cannot be performed on it because it is not alive. And it especially cannot be MURDERED, because murder is when you kill a HUMAN BEING. Frankly Chris, how messed up is it that you show such an appalling amount of regret at having lost your little video games?

You showed no regret when your old girlfriends like [[Ivy]] or [[Panda]] died, you hopped right to other girls in far less time than you've now spent mourning a broken computer. What gives? How can you have so much love for a computer? If it's the memories and nostalgia - which I suspect will be your answer to me - then why be so focused on buying a new PS3, when all the old "memories" are gone with the old one? (and for the record, why are you saying Xbox is the console that has problems? Wasn't some software glitches in your SONY PS3 the thing that started you on this in the first place?)

I don't get how the trolls could be "controlling" you considering you did this before even talking to them about it. You even did it before I knew about it. But I must also question your parents' ability to form a valid conclusion as to what's going on in this situation, because as you admit, you are LYING to them. You told your mom that your PS3 completely died, when in reality it was functioning perfectly fine (the hard drive was wiped, but the system still worked just fine). And frankly, I wouldn't care that you were lying to them, except for one thing: You got your mom to give you money toward the purchase of a new system. So basically, you TRICKED YOUR MOM with LIES and DECEIT. Because I think you KNOW she would NOT be willing to help you get a new system if she thought it was all entirely your doing.

Oh, you know what? That just made me think. I bet you lied to her about how much influence the trolls had over it, too, didn't you? You WANTED your parents to believe that the trolls "made" you do this. You don't want them to find out that you decided to do it all on your own. I bet you're just whining "the trolls made me do it" to get sympathy from them, and to get out of accepting responsibility for something YOU chose to do. Isn't that it, Chris? How many other occasions have YOU been at fault for something and conveniently scapegoated "the trolls" as if they control every event in the universe?

As for calling you, I can understand why a person might be old-fashioned and want his significant other to speak to his parents. But I don't get why you want me to have their approval, while at the same time you are content to lie to and disrespect them to get other things you want.

But what bothers me the most, Chris, is that you are saying that given the choice, you will sell your stuff and borrow money from your parents to buy a new video game console. But you will not sell stuff and borrow money from your parents for the purpose of coming to see me. So basically, having a PS3 is more important than having a girl who wants to be with you.

Chris, I'm going to list out some questions, and when you respond to this email I want you to answer all of them clearly. I don't care if you have an answer that you think I won't like, but what I want from you is the truth, not more dodging.

1. Were you lying to me when you said you didn't need your console anymore? 
2. How will getting a new PS3 make up for the old memories you lost when it won't actually have them on its hard drive? 
3. Have you been deliberately lying to your parents about what happened to the PS3 just because you knew they wouldn't help you get a new one if they knew the truth? 
4. Have you been deliberately lying to your parents about the level of influence the trolls have over you just to get out of taking responsibility for your OWN actions? (This means for as long as the trolls have been around, not just since the PS3 thing) 
5. Why is replacing an old video game console that you've already dumped thousands of hours into more important than coming to see me?

Chris, I expect you to give me truthful, honest, and complete answers to those questions when you respond to me.

Sigh... anyway, yes, please go ahead and do the shadow-interview video. If only to get your mind off of wallowing over the dead friend you "murdered", your PS3. I think anything that draws your mind away would be good at this point. Maybe once you've shown me some maturity, then I'll consider calling you. Because I'd love to call you Chris, but it kind of sounds like you'd prefer a video game to call you instead. Your devotion to this machine is creepy, to say the least. I don't like the idea of being in a relationship where I'll always have to worry about competing with a machine.

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 11]]

List of cards from The Wall of Originals

2012-09-04T14:21:28Z

Exball: /* Custom Pokémon Cards */

Because Chris's [[Chris and writing|handwriting]] is fucking horrible, the following is a '''transcription of each card on [[The Wall of Originals]]''', to make them easier to read.

== Custom [[Pokémon]] Cards ==

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Pokemon
|-
! Card
! Name
! Evolution
! Type
! HP
! Pokemon Power
! Attack1
! Attack2
! Weakness
! Resistance
! Retreat Cost
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:Luigi2.gif|150px]]
| Luigi
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Wrench''' 20
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Water Wave''' Discard 1 [[Image:Water-attack.png]] attached to Luigi to use it; flip a coin, if heads, opponent is PAR. 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| (all but illegible except for "Produces pipes and drains")
| April 24, [[1999]]
|-
| [[Image:Espan.gif|150px]]
| Españolic
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] '''Español Confusion''' Flip a coin. If heads, the opponent is confused. 10
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found in [[Spanish]] Countries. It confuses its enemies with its language. LV.10
| [[Chris's birthday|February 24]], 1999
|-
| [[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|150px]]
| Españolic
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] '''Español Confusion''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is confused. 10
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found in Spanish Countries. It confuses its enemies with its language. LV.10
| February 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Vega.gif|150px]]
| Vegaton
| Stage 1: Evolves from Españolic
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Razor Leaf''' Discard 1 [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] attached to Vegaton. 20
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Spanish Fly''' Flip a coin, if heads, opponent is asleep. 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| More colorful than Españolic. Vegaton can create rainbows. LV.33
| March 13, 1999
|-
| [[Image:333-Vegaton.jpg|150px]]
| Vegaton
| Stage 1: Evolves from Españolic
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Razor Leaf''' 20
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Spanish Fly''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is asleep. 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| More colorful than Españolic. Vegaton can create rainbows. LV.32
| March 13, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Blue.gif|150px]]
| Blue
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Fairy Powder''' Flip a coin, if tails, opponent is asleep. 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Bite''' 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Confused as a real fairy, it can put its enemies to sleep with powder. LV.26
| April 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Baniru.gif|150px]]
| Baniru
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Water Gun''' 20
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Thunder Wave''' Flip a coin, if heads, opponent is PAR. 10
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| (illegible)
| April 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Togepi.gif|150px]]
| Togepi
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Egg Bomb''' 30
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| The first thing it sees, it pictures it as its mother. LV.10, #153
| April 18, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Dhct.gif|150px]]
| (illegible, supposed to be 'Mixed Up Farfetch'd)
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Broken Stick''' 30
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| (illegible)
| April 23, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Missin.gif|150px]]
| Missingno.
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Water Gun''' 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Sky Attack''' 30
| ?
| ?
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| ??? LV. 30 #00
| April 23, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Bush.gif|150px]]
| Bushwacked
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vine Whip''' 30
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Stun Spore''' Flip a coin, if heads, opponent is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found in rain forests, it can hide behind trees. LV.34
| May 5, 1999
|-
| [[Image:334-Bushwacked.jpg|150px]]
| Bushwacked
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Stun Spore''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vine Whip''' 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found in rain forests, it can hide behind trees. LV.34
| May 5, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Koffin.gif|150px]]
| Koffingroo
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Dizzy Punch''' 30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Poison Breath''' Defending Pokemon is poisoned and confused.
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known for its bad breath, the spikes on its gloves inject poison. LV.30
| July 6, 1999
|-
| [[Image:335-Koffingroo.jpg|150px]]
| Koffingroo
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Dizzy Punch''' 30
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Poison Breath''' The Defending Pokemon is now poisoned and confused.
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known for its bad breath, the spikes on its gloves inject poison. LV.30
| July 6, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Drum.gif|150px]]
| Drummor
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Sonicboom''' Does 10 damage to each Pokemon on opponent's bench. 20
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| Known an a noisy Pokemon, it can K.O. its enemies with soundwaves. LV.22
| April 10, 1999
|-
| [[Image:336-Drummor.jpg|150px]]
| Drummor
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Sonicboom''' Do not apply weakness and resistance for this attack. 20
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| Known an a noisy Pokemon, it can K.O. its enemies with soundwaves. LV.22
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Cym.gif|150px]]
| Cymbolic
| Stage 1: Evolves from Drummor
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Cymbal Clash''' If Cymbolic is hit during last turn, opponent takes 10 damage (don't apply weakness and resistance).
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Hard Clash''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| With a cymbal on its head, its booms are thunderous. And it can do a comical if on its legs. LV.30
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:337-Cymbolic.jpg|150px]]
| Cymbolic
| Stage 1: Evolves from Drummor
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Cymbal Clash''' If the Defending Pokemon's attack did damage to Cymbolic, the Defending Pokemon get 10 damage (do not apply weakness and resistance). This power does not work if Cymbolic is asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Hard Clash''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| With a cymbal on its head, its booms are thunderous. And it can do a comical if on its legs. LV.30
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Flashb.gif|150px]]
| Flashbulb
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 30
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''String Shot''' Flip a coin, if heads, opponent is paralyzed. 10
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| Confused for a PokeFlute, it can light even the darkest forest. LV.7
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:338-Flashbulb.jpg|150px]]
| Flashbulb
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 30
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''String Shot''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 10
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| Confused for a PokeFlute, it can light even the darkest forests. LV.7
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Coon.gif|150px]]
| Coonbulb
| Stage 1: Evolves from Flashbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Harden''' Flip a coin, if heads, prevents damage done during opponent's next turn.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Electric Jolt''' 20
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known as the brightest Pokemon. It is brighter than the sun. LV.22
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:339-Coonbulb.jpg|150px]]
| Coonbulb
| Stage 1: Evolves from Flashbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Harden''' Flip a coin. If heads, all damage to Coonbulb done during your next turn are prevented. Any other effects still occur.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Electric Jolt''' 20
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known as the brightest Pokemon. It is brighter than the sun. LV.22
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Bugz.gif|150px]]
| Bugzapp
| Stage 2: Evolves from Coonbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Reflect''' If opponent's attack did damage, half damage is taken to that Pokemon. Doesn't work if Bugzapp is asleep, PAR, etc.
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Shine Shock''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Found near street lamps at night, its wings reflect light.
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:340-Bugzapp.jpg|150px]]
| Bugzapp
| Stage 2: Evolves from Coonbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Reflect''' If your opponent's attack did damage to Bugzapp, (illegible). This power doesn't work if Bugzapp is asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Shine Shock''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Found near street lamps at night, its wings reflect light. It can also fly up to 1,000 miles high. LV.32
| July 16, 1999
|-
| [[Image:341-CWCsFlashbulb.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Flashbulb
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Leech Life''' Remove a number of damage counters from Christian's Flashbulb equal to the damage done to the Defending Pokemon (after applying weakness and resistance). If Christian's Flashbulb has fewer damage counters than that, remove all of them. 10
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| LV.10
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:342-CWCsCoonbulb.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Coonbulb
| Stage 1: Evolves from Christian's Flashbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Harden''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's next turn, all damage is prevented (any other effects still occur).
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Thunder Wave''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 25
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:343-CWCsBugzapp.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Bugzapp
| Stage 2: Evolves from Christian's Coonbulb
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Wing Attack''' 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thunderbolt''' Discard all energy cards attached to Christian's Bugzapp in order to use this attack. 80
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| LV. 36
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:Weeler.gif|150px]]
| Weeler
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rolling Tackle''' 20
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Known to leave a trail behind it, originally a Voltorb got stuck in a tire. LV. 23
| August 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:344-Weeler.jpg|150px]]
| Weeler
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rolling Tackle''' 20
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Known to leave a trail behind it, originally a Voltorb got stuck in a tire. LV. 23
| August 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Hotfin.gif|150px]]
| Hotfinish
| Stage 1: Evolves from Weeler
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin, if heads, all effects of attack and damage done to Hotfinish. 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Fin Slap''' 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Faster than a Rapidash, it can light its path at night. LV. 34
| August 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:345-Hotfinish.jpg|150px]]
| Hotfinish
| Stage 1: Evolves from Weeler
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Fin Slap''' 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all effects of attack during your opponent's next turn. 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Faster than a Rapidash, it can light its path at night. LV. 34
| August 17, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Strgtre.gif|150px]]
| Strongtire
| Stage 2: Evolves from Hotfinish
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Extra Damage''' Once during your turn, flip a coin, if heads, defending Pokemon gets 20 damage. Won't work if Strongtire is asleep, paralyzed, or confused.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tire Punch''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Evolves from fast Pokemon, it has the strength of two Machamp. LV. 50
| August 18, 1999
|-
| [[Image:346-Strongtire1.jpg|150px]]
| Strongtire
| Stage 2: Evolves from Hotfinish
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Extra Damage''' Once, during your turn, you may flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon gets 10 damage (Don't apply weakness and resistance). This Power does not work if Strongtire is asleep, confused, or Paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tire Punch''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Evolves from fast Pokemon, it has the strength of two Machamp. LV. 50
| August 18, 1999
|-
| [[Image:347-Strongtire2.jpg|150px]]
| Strongtire
| Stage 2: Evolves from Hotfinish
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Karate Chop''' This attack does 70 damage minus 10 damage for each damage counter on Strongtire. 70-
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Seismic Toss''' 60
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| (illegible)
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:348-CWCsWeeler.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Weeler
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| LV. 18
| September 23, 2000
|-
| [[Image:349-CWCsHotfinish.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Hotfinish
| Stage 1: Evolves from Christian's Weeleer
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Stop Light''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Run Over''' 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| LV. 32
| September 23, 2000
|-
| [[Image:350-CWCsStrongtire.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Strongtire
| Stage 2: Evolves from Christian's Hotfinish
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 100
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's turn, all effects of attack (including damage) done to Christian's Strongtire are prevented. 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Mega Punch''' 50
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 48
| September 23, 2000
|-
| [[Image:Comfrg.gif|150px]]
| Compufrog
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Conversion1''' If defending Pokemon has a weakness, you may change it to any color other than colorless.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Confuse Ray''' Flip a coin, if heads, defending Pokemon is confused. 10
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Made from computer programming, it is found near lakes and swamps. LV. 23
| August 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:351-Compufrog.jpg|150px]]
| Compufrog
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Conversion1''' If the defending Pokemon has a weakness, change it to a color of your choice, other than colorless.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Confuse Ray''' Flip a coin. If heads, the defending Pokemon is confused. 10
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Made from computer programming, it is often found near lakes and swamps. LV. 12
| August 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Snuble.gif|150px]]
| Snubble
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Doubleslap''' Flip 2 coins, does 10 damage times # of heads. 10x
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Bite''' 20
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Confused as a real fairy, it can put its enemies to sleep with powder.
| August 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Marril.gif|150px]]
| Marril
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Water Gun''' Does 10 damage +10 damage for each [[Image:Water-attack.png]] energy card attached to Marril, not used to pay attack cost. 10+
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Confused for Pikachu, it has exceptional electric attacks. LV. 24 #154
| August 27, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Yoshi.gif|150px]]
| Yoshi
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tongue Wrap''' Flip a coin, if heads, defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Kick''' 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Known to have a long tongue, and is hungry, it mostly is found with Luigi. LV. 26
| August 30, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Plautistic.gif|150px]]
| Plautistic
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]'''Psyshock''' Flip a coin. If heads, opponent is PAR. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vine Whip''' 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| The only Pokemon that has autism, it can disable its own attacks. LV. 30
| November 22, 1999
|-
| [[Image:352-Plautistic.jpg|150px]]
| Plautistic
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]'''Psyshock''' Flip a coin. If heads the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vine Whip''' 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| The only Pokemon in the world with Autism. It can disable its own attacks. LV. 30
| November 22, 1999
|-
| [[Image:Donphan.gif|150px]]
| Donphan
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rolling Tackle''' 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]'''RAM''' Donphan does 10 damage to itself. If opponent has any benched Pokemon, switch with active (damage before switch). 50
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known to charge at random, its armor can withstand explosions. LV. 26
| November 25, 1999
|-
| [[Image:SonchuC.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, the attack does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Spin Dash''' After doing damage, if your opponent has any Benched Pokemon, choose 1 of them and switch it with his/her Active Pokemon. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| After being exposed to the 7 Chaos Emeralds, a Pikachu evolved into a Sonichu. LV. 36
| March 17, 2000
|-
| [[Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| (illegible)
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]](illegible)
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]](illegible)
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| (illegible)
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:CwcsonC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Chaos Power''' If your Active Pokemon's attack does damage to the Defending Pokemon (after applying weakness and resistance), that attack does 10 more damage. This power does not work if Sonichu is asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 25
| April 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:DrksonC.jpg|150px]]
| Dark Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Lightning Speed''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 20+20 damage, and the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. If tails, it does 20 damage. 20+
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Whenever Sonichu is full of anger, it runs it off while leaving a firey trail behind it. LV. 26
| May 11, 2000
|-
| [[Image:SrfsonC.jpg|150px]]
| Surfing Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, the attack does 10+20 damage. If tails, the attack does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Surf''' 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Loves to surf the waves and run laps on beach shores, it can also run on water. LV. 35.
| June 1, 2000
|-
| [[Image:SnwsonC.jpg|150px]]
| Snowboarding Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, does 10+20 damage. If tails, does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Snowboard Kick''' Flip a coin. If heads, does 20+20 damage, and the defending Pokemon is paralyzed. If tails, does 20 damage. 20+
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Always going to the extreme, it can do cool tricks going down a snowy hill. LV. 37
| June 2, 2000
|-
| [[Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's turn, all effects of attack (including damage) done to Christian's Sonichu are prevented. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 28
| September 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 70
| '''Card Roulette''' Once during your turn, before your attack, you may flip a coin. If heads, you may draw 2 cards. If tails, you may draw 1 card. This Power does not work if Sonichu is asleep, confused or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Lucky Spin Dash''' Flip a coin. If heads, your opponent must discard the top 5 cards from his/her deck. If tails, your opponent may draw 1 card. 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| After being exposed to the 7 Chaos Emeralds, a Pikachu transformed into a Sonichu. LV. 28
| February 3, 2001
|-
| [[Image:175-SchuBday.jpg|150px]]
| _________'s Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Birthday Wish''' If it is not your Birthday, the attack does 30 damage. If it is your Birthday, flip a coin. If heads, choose whether the Defending Pokemon is now Asleep, Confused or Paralyzed. 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Your Birthdate:_________. LV. 20
| February 21, 2001
|-
| [[Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Defense Curl''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all damage done to Sonichu during your opponent's next turn (any other effects of attack still happen).
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's next turn, all effects of attack (including damage) done to Sonichu are prevented. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Known as the fastest Pokemon alive, it can beat a Dodrio in a foot-race around the world. LV. 34
| February 22, 2001
|-
| [[Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg|150px]]
| Racing Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Vroom-a-Zoom-Zoom''' 10
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Stop Light''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| The Sonichu car can go up to 200 mph. Sonichu enjoys showing off his car and riding through the countryside. LV. 25
| March 1, 2001
|-
| [[Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg|150px]]
| Shining Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Supersonic Quick Dash''' Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 40+20 damage. If tails, this attack does 40 damage. Either way, if your opponent has any benched Pokemon on his or her bench, flip another coin. If heads, do 20 damage to each Pokemon on your opponent's bench (do not apply weakness and resistance on benched Pokemon). 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| At certain speeds while running, it collects energy from the air, and it can not be seen by the naked eye. LV. 37
| February 20, 2002
|-
| [[Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu & Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 160
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Super Team Attack''' Flip a number of coins for each Sonichu and Rosechu in play (yours and your opponent's). This attack does 60 damage +10 damage for each heads. If you get more than 4 heads, shuffle Sonichu & Rosechu and all cards attached to it into your deck. 60+
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Sonichu and Rosechu love each other so much, that neither one ever forgets the other's Birthday. LV. 40
| March 16, 2002
|-
| [[Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, the attack does 10+20 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Spin Dash''' After doing damage, if your opponent has any Benched Pokemon, choose 1 of them and switch it with his/her active Pokemon. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| After being exposed to the seven Chaos Emeralds, a Pikachu transformed into a Sonichu. LV. 36
| July 16, 2002
|-
| [[Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Speed Scan''' Draw the top 5 cards of your deck, rearrange them as you like, then put them back on top of your deck.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all effects of attack, including damage, done to Sonichu during your opponent's next turn. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Speed Scan''' Draw the top 5 cards of your deck, rearrange them as you like, then put them back on top of your deck.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all effects of attack, including damage, done to Sonichu during your opponent's next turn. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu ex
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 120
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Plasma''' If there are any Basic Energy Cards in your Discard Pile, flip a coin. If heads, attach one to Sonichu ex. 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Extremespeed''' Flip a coin. If heads, the attack does 40 + 30 damage. If tails, the attack does 40 damage. 40+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thunderbolt''' Discard all Lightning Energy Cards attached to Sonichu ex in order to use this attack. 100
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:250-BlachuCard1.jpg|150px]]
| Black Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Evil-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Evil-attack.png]]'''Black Rings''' Flip 2 coins. For each heads, do 20 damage to each of all Pokemon in play, except [[Image:Evil-attack.png]] types and Pokemon with Dark in their names (Don't apply weakness and resistance for this attack).
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Surprise Thunder''' Flip a coin. If heads, flip another coin. If the second coin is heads, do 20 damage to each of your opponent's benched Pokemon. If the second coin is tails, do 10 damage to each of your opponent's benched Pokemon (Don't apply weakness and resistance for benched Pokemon). 30
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Created in Giovanni's lab, this is Sonichu's evil twin. The only differences are their color, shoes, and one is evil. LV. 21
| July 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:251-GiosBchu.jpg|150px]]
| Giovanni's Black Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Evil-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rage''' This attack does 10 damage +10 damage for each damage counter on Giovanni's Black Sonichu. 10+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Thunderpunch''' Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 30+10 damage. If tails, this attack does 30 damage, and Giovanni's Black Sonichu does 10 damage to itself. 30+
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 20
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:252-BlachuCard2.jpg|150px]]
| Black Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Evil Dash''' 20
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Spark''' Choose one of your opponent's Benched Pokemon, if any, and do 10 damage to it (do not apply weakness and resistance to Benched Pokemon). 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:259-WildCard.jpg|150px]]
| Wild Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 60
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Razor Leaf''' 30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Slash''' 40
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]] -30
| None
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Punchy Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Thunderpunch''' Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 40 damage. If tails, this attack does 30 damage to the Defending Pokemon, and 10 damage to Punchy. 30+
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Fighting-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Sky Uppercut''' This attack's damage is not affected by resistance. 50
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:279-MagiCard.jpg|150px]]
| Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thunder Wave''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Psychic''' This attack does 10 + 10 damage for each Energy Card attached to the Defending Pokemon. 10+
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| February 2, 2004
|-
| [[Image:209-Metonic1.jpg|150px]]
| Metonic
| Stage 1: Evolves from Sonichu
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]]
| 100
| '''Power of Knight''' When you play Metonic from your hand, you may flip a coin. If heads, take up to 2 Energy Cards from your discard pile and put them into your hand.
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Iron Tail''' Flip a coin. If heads, all damage done to Metonic during your opponent's next turn is reduced by 20 (after applying weakness and resistance). 30
| None
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Metonic's armor adds weight, so he can not do a Spin Dash. But his speed stays the same, and his spikes are diamond-sharp. LV. 52
| February 20, 2001
|-
| [[Image:210-Metonic2.jpg|150px]]
| Metonic
| Stage 1: Evolves from Sonichu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Spark''' If your opponent has any Benched Pokemon, choose 1 of them, and this attack does 10 damage to that Pokemon (don't apply weakness and resistance to Benched Pokemon). 20
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Slash''' 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Metonic's armor adds weight, so he can't do a Spin Dash. But his speed stays the same, and his spikes are diamond-sharp. LV. 55
| April 13, 2000
|-
| [[Image:216-UltSchu.jpg|150px]]
| Ultra Sonichu
| Stage 1: Evolves from Sonichu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 140
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Extreme Speed''' Flip a coin. If heads, this attack does 30 + 20 damage. If tails, this attack does 30 damage. 30+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Gigashock''' Choose up to 3 of your opponent's Benched Pokemon, and this attack does 10 damage to each of them (don't apply weakness and resistance for Benched Pokemon). 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Knockout Thunder''' Flip 2 coins. If both coins are heads, this attack does 50 + 50 damage. If one or both coins are tails, this attack does 50 damage. 50+
| None
| None
| None
| (small drawing of the Seven Chaos Emeralds) Lv. 55
| March 28, 2002
|-
| [[Image:217-UltSchuEX.jpg|150px]]
| Ultra Sonichu ex
| Stage 1: Evolves from Sonichu ex
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 200
| '''Sonichu Heroes''' For each other Pokemon with Sonichu or Rosechu in its name that are in play, Team Blast's base damage increases by 10.
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Team Blast''' 50
| None
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg|150px]]
| Sonee
| Baby: Evolves into Sonichu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+10 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| None
| None
| None
| None
| Known to have a lot of spunk and speed, this cute Pokemon packs a lot of action. LV. 10
| December 21, 2000
|-
| [[Image:234-RchuCard1.jpg|150px]]
| Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Rose Zap''' Flip a coin. If heads, The Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Love Shock''' Does 20 damage +10 damage for each Sonichu in play. Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 20+
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Many Sonichu from around the world fall in love by Rosechu's beauty and passion. Rosechu's favorite flower is the rose Zapbud. LV. 30
| December 22, 2000
|-
| [[Image:235-RchuCard2.jpg|150px]]
| Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Girl Power''' This attack does 10 damage + 10 damage for each Pokemon with Rosechu in their names in play. 10+
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Swift''' This attack is not affected by weakness, resistance, pokemon powers, or any other effects of attack. 30
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Many Sonichu from around the world fall in love by Rosechu's beauty and passion. Rosechu's favorite flower is the rose Zapbud. LV. 20
| December 22, 2000
|-
| [[Image:236-RchuCard3.jpg|150px]]
| Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Love Slap''' Flip 3 coins. The attack does 10 damage for each heads. 10x
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:264-BubblesCard.jpg|150px]]
| Bubbles Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Spark''' Choose one of your opponent's Benched Pokemon, if any, and do 10 damage to it (don't apply weakness and resistance for Benched Pokemon). 20
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Surf''' 30
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| None
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:269-AngelicaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Angelica Rosechu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 10
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Wing Attack''' 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| None
| December 2, 2004
|-
| [[Image:245-VamprosaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Vamprosa
| Stage 1: Evolves from Rosechu
| [[Image:Darkness-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Darkness-attack.png]]'''Mean Look''' The Defending Pokemon can't retreat as long as Vamprosa remains your Active Pokemon (Benching or evolving either Pokemon ends this effect).
| [[Image:Darkness-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Bite''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Its bite can suck the life out of its enemies. Its cape gives it the ability to fly. LV. 43
| March 14, 2001
|-
| [[Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Rosey
| Baby: Evolves into Rosechu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 30
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Cute Wink''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon can not attack during your opponent's next turn (Benching or Evolving either Pokemon ends the effect).
| None
| None
| None
| None
| Its cuteness always get the awe of its enemies. When it falls, its skirt acts as a parachute. LV. 6
| February 22, 2001
|-
| [[Image:353-Kelbie.jpg|150px]]
| Kelbie
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Sleep Powder''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is asleep. 10
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]]'''Sister Call''' Search your deck for a Basic Pokemon named Kelbie and add it to your Bench (If your Bench is full, the attack does not work). Shuffle your deck afterwords.
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Under its shell back is Kelbie's growing hair. It stays calm and peaceful in tough situations. LV. 10
| March 20, 2000
|-
| [[Image:354-Annchop.jpg|150px]]
| Annchop
| Stage 1: Evolves from Kelbie
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Karate Chop''' Does 40 damage minus 10 times the number of damage counters on Annchop. 40-
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Mega Punch''' 50
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Annchop's blonde hair reflects the amount of strength she has. Annchop fights with power. LV. 26
| March 20, 2000
|-
| [[Image:355-Kixfairy.jpg|150px]]
| Kixfairy
| Stage 2: Evolves from Annchop
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Lure''' Choose one of your opponent's Benched Pokemon and switch it with his/her Active Pokemon.
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Magic Wand''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 30
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| As being the spunky pixie, Kixfairy can fly high, spreading joy with its wand. LV. 42
| March 20, 2000
|-
| [[Image:356-CWCsKelbie.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Kelbie
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Lullibye''' The Defending Pokemon is now asleep.
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Rolling Tackle''' 20
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| LV. 12
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:357-CWCsAnnchop.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Annchop
| Stage 1: Evolves from Christian's Kelbie
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 70
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Leer''' Flip a coin. If heads, your opponent can not attack during his/her next turn (Benching or Evolving either Pokemon ends the effect).
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Karate Chop''' The attack does 50 damage -10 for each damage counter on Christian's Annchop.
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 28
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:358-CWCsKixfairy.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Kixfairy
| Stage 2: Evolves from Christian's Annchop
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Pixie Dust''' During your turn (before your attack), you may flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. If tails, your Active Pokemon is paralyzed. This power does not work if Christian's Kixfairy is asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Agility''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's turn, all effects of attack (including damage) done to Christian's Kixfairy are prevented. 30
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| LV. 38
| September 24, 2000
|-
| [[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Christian
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 90
| '''Extra Help''' While Christian is in play, you may have up to 6 Pokemon on your bench. This power works, even if Christian is Asleep, Confused, or Paralyzed.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Mega Punch''' 40
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| May 9, 2000
|-
| [[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|150px]]
| Dark Christian
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 70
| '''Potter Rage''' When you play Dark Christian from your hand, ask your opponent if he or she loves Harry Potter more than Pokemon. If he/she says, or hints towards, YES, his or her Active Pokemon becomes knocked out.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Pokemon Revive''' If you have space on your Bench, put a Basic Pokemon from your discard pile onto your Bench (this attack's effect will not work if your Bench is full, but either way, this attack still does its damage). 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Christian says, "Kill Harry Potter, Revive Pokemon!" LV. 20
| March 25, 2002
|-
| [[Image:098-CWCCard1.jpg|150px]]
| Christian Chandler
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 100
| '''Heart Fix''' Once during your turn, you may remove up to 3 damage counters from Christian. This PokePower does not work if Christian is affected by a Special Condition.
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Lonesome Punch''' If Christian has more than 50 damage on him, the attack does 30 damage. 60-
| None
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| None
| February 2, 2004
|-
| [[Image:359-Chicachu.jpg|150px]]
| Chicachu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tail Ring''' Flip a coin. If heads, prevent all effects of attack, including damage, done to Chicachu.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Boyfriends''' Does 10 damage + 10 more for each Pikachu in play. 10+
| None
| None
| None
| Known as the Female Pikachu. Its tail ring protects it from defensive attacks. LV. 11
| September 7, 2000
|-
| [[Image:360-Maychu.jpg|150px]]
| Maychu
| Stage 1: Evolves from Chicachu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 90
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Lure''' If your opponent has any Benched Pokemon, choose one of them and switch it with the Defending Pokemon.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Love Lightning''' Flip a coin. If heads, does 30+20 damage, and the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 30+
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Quick with grace and passion. It can lure a crowd of Raichu with a come hither stare. LV. 38
| September 7, 2000
|-
| [[Image:CwcchiC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Chicachu
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Quick Attack''' Flip a coin. If heads, it does 10+ 10 damage. If tails, it does 10 damage. 10+
| None
| None
| None
| None
| LV. 13
| September 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:CwcmayC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Maychu
| Stage 1: Evolves from Christian's Chicachu
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 80
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Thundershock''' Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is paralyzed. 20
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Mega Kick''' 40
| None
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| LV. 40
| September 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:363-Evails1.jpg|150px]]
| Evails
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Tail Whirl''' Flip 2 coins. This attack does 30 damage times the number of heads. 30x
| None
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Cute, but packs a wallop. Watch out for its 2-Tail attack. LV. 12
| March 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:364-Evails2.jpg|150px]]
| Evails
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| 40
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Gust''' 10
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Fly''' Flip a coin. If heads, during your opponent's next turn, prevent all effects of attack, including damage, done to Evails. If tails, this attack does nothing (not even damage). 30
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Cute, but packs a wallop, watch out for its 2-tail attack. LV. 13
| March 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:365-Supreon.jpg|150px]]
| Supreon
| Stage 1: Evolves from Evails
| (non-existant energy symbol with red, yellow, and blue colors)
| 90
| '''Rainbow Force''' When you attach a Rainbow Energy card from your hand to one of your Pokemon while Supreon is in play, don't do the Rainbow Energy's damage. This power works even if Supreon is Asleep, Confused, or Paralyzed.
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Tri Attack''' Flip 3 coins. If only 1 is heads, the Defending Pokemon is Asleep. If exactly 2 are heads, the Defending Pokemon is Confused. If all 3 are heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. 40
| None
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| None
| Shines like a rainbow, stings like a bee. This Pokemon flies faster than you can see. LV. 40
| March 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:366-Armat1.jpg|150px]]
| Armat
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Scratch''' 10
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Ember''' Discard 1 [[Image:Fire-attack.png]] Energy in order to use this attack. 30
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Small in stature, it conceals its sharp claws and it leaves a nasty burn. LV. 12
| March 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:367-Armat2.jpg|150px]]
| Armat
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]]
| 50
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Feline Call''' Search your deck for a Basic Pokemon named Armat, and put it on your Bench. Shuffle your deck afterwords (this attack does not work if your bench is full).
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Iron Tail''' Flip a coin. If heads, reduce all damage done to Armat by 20 during your opponent's next turn (after applying weakness and resistance). 20
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Small in stature, it conceals its sharp claws and it leaves a nasty burn. LV. 13
| March 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:368-Steeline.jpg|150px]]
| Steeline
| Stage 1: Evolves from Armat
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]]
| 90
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Slash''' 30
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]][[Image:Fire-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Flamethrower''' Discard 1 [[Image:Fire-attack.png]] Energy card in order to use this attack. 50
| [[Image:Metal-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Metal Claw''' Flip a coin. If heads, Steeline's next attack will increase by 20 (no matter which attack). 40
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| [[Image:Grass-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Sleek and quick. Its armor is hollow, which allows free movement. LV. 47
| March 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:369-DSteeline.jpg|150px]]
| Dark Steeline
| Stage 1: Evolves from Armat
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]]
| 70
| '''Dark Wave''' (illegible)
| [[Image:Fire-attack.png]][[Image:Fire-attack.png]][[Image:Fire-attack.png]]'''Fire Blast''' Discard 1 [[Image:Fire-attack.png]] Energy card in order to use this attack. 60
| None
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| If you intimidate Steeline in any way, it will scratch you terribly. LV. 37
| March 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:370-Techti.jpg|150px]]
| Techti
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Computerize''' If you use Zap Cannon during your next turn, treat all tails as if they were heads. And flip a coin. If heads, draw a card.
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Zap Cannon''' Flip 2 coins. If both coins are heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed. If one or both coins are tails, this attack does nothing (not even damage). 40
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Lives in [[computers]]; it loves to mess up your hard drive. LV. 20
| April 5, 2002
|-
| [[Image:371-Cytiger.jpg|150px]]
| Cytiger
| Stage 1: Evolves from Techti
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| 100
| None
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]'''Technokick''' 30
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Lightning-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Shock Virus''' Flip 3 coins. For each heads, this attack does 20 damage, and if the Defending Pokemon has any Energy cards attached to it, choose one and discard it. 20x
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]]
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]][[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Roaming through cyberspace, it is dangerous only to computers, Porygon and Porygon2. LV. 60
| April 5, 2002
|-
| [[Image:372-Booloon.jpg|150px]]
| Booloon
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Psychic-attack.png]][[Image:Psychic-attack.png]]'''Night Shade''' Don't apply weakness, resistance, Pokemon Powers. If your opponent has used, or attached, any Trainers, or used an attack that would change the damage, all those effects do not work. 30
| None
| None
| [[Image:Fighting-attack.png]] -30
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]
| Transparent with Air, the only thing that will scare a Booloon is a pin. LV. 20
| (illegible)
|-
| [[Image:373-Squirskun.jpg|150px]]
| Squirskun
| Basic Pokemon
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]]
| 60
| None
| [[Image:Colorless-attack.png]]'''Stink-Up''' All of your opponent's Pokemon Powers stop working until the end of his/her next turn.
| [[Image:Water-attack.png]][[Image:Water-attack.png]]'''Smokescreen''' If the Defending Pokemon tries to attack during your opponent's next turn, he/she flips a coin. If tails, that attack does nothing. 20
| [[Image:Lightning-attack.png]]
| None
| None
| Mostly found in Paris, France, these Pokemon swim to other countries to find cultural love. LV. 21
| (illegible)
|}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Trainers
|-
! Card
! Name
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:256-EvilEnergy.jpg|150px]]
| Evil Energy Special Energy Card
| If the Pokemon Evil Energy is attached to does damage to the Defending Pokemon, choose whether the Defending Pokemon is Confused or Poisoned. Put 1 damage counter on the Pokemon Evil Energy is attached to, unless it's [[Image:Evil-attack.png]] or has Dark in its name. Evil Energy provides [[Image:Evil-attack.png]] Energy. (Doesn't count as a basic energy card).
| March 21, 2002
|-
| [[Image:SonTrn.gif|150px]]
| Sonic the Hedgehog
| Discard 2 cards from your hand, and remove up to 2 damage counters from all Pokemon, Benched and Atctive.
| April 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:376-STHTrainer.jpg|150px]]
| Sonic the Hedgehog
| Discard 2 cards from your hand in order to use this Trainer. Remove 2 Damage Counters from all your Pokemon with Damage Counters.
| April 24, 1999
|-
| [[Image:CWCtrn.jpg|150px]]
| Christian W. Chandler
| You and your opponent each must switch his/her Active Pokemon for one from their bench. The player who showed this card must switch first, then your opponent must switch his/her Pokemon.
| September 26, 1999
|-
| [[Image:101-ChristianC.jpg|150px]]
| Christian C.
| You and your opponent each must switch his/her Active Pokemon for one from their bench. The Player who played this card must switch first, then your opponent must switch his/her Ppkemon.
| September 26, 1999
|-
| [[Image:158-Cwc City Gym.jpg|150px]]
| Cwick City Gym Stadium Card
| This card stays in play when you play it. Discard this card if another Stadium card comes into play. During each player's turn, that player may attach 1 Energy card to a Pokemon with Christian in its name (this does not use up the 1 Energy attachment for that player's turn).
| September 19, 2000
|-
| [[Image:150-MTS.jpg|150px]]
| Mystery-to-Solve
| Remove 2 Damage Counters from all Pokemon in play (yours and your opponent's), draw 2 cards, do 30 Damage to the Defending Pokemon (don't apply weakness and resistance), and your turn ends without an attack.
| November 17, 2001
|-
| [[Image:377-TurboRainbow.jpg|150px]]
| Turbo Rainbow
| All energy cards attaced to any of your Pokemon in play will now count as Rainbow Energy cards (no damage will be made in this process) for the rest of your turn.
| February 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:378-Whammy.jpg|150px]]
| Whammy!!!...
| Flip a coin. If heads, Draw 2 cards. If tails, discard 2 cards from the top of your deck, and discard 2 cards from your hand.
| March 24, 2002
|-
| [[Image:225-SchuBall1.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu Ball
| Flip a coin. If heads, search your deck for a Pokemon that evolves to, from or has Sonichu, or Rosechu, in its name. Show it to your opponent, and put it into your hand. Shuffle your deck afterwards.
| April 11, 2002
|-
| [[Image:374-ChaosEmerald.jpg|150px]]
| Chaos Emerald Pokemon Tool
| Attach Chaos Emerald to one of your Pokemon that doesn't already have a Pokemon Tool attached to it. Whenever the Pokemon Chaos Emerald is attached to has 20 HP or less, you may flip a coin. If heads, search your deck for a Pokemon that evolves from this Pokemon, and attach it to the Pokemon (this counts as evolving said Pokemon). After you fliped, discard the Chaos Emerald.
| April 13, 2002
|-
| [[Image:379-Bulk.jpg|150px]]
| Bulk and Skull Power Ranger card
| Flip a coin. If heads, do 60 damage to the Defending Pokemon, then, if your opponent has any Pokemon on his/her bench, choose one, and do 20 damage to it (don't apply weakness and resistance to either Pokemon). If tails, shuffle your opponent's deck, and discard the top 5 cards (If there are less than 5 cards, discard all of them). Either way, your turn ends without an attack.
| April 13, 2002
|-
| [[Image:224-SchuZord.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu Zord Power Ranger Zord
| Attach this card to your Active Pokemon. Discard this card only when that Pokemon is Knocked Out. Whenever that Pokemon attacks, the attack does 20 more damage (after applying weakness and resistance). And when the Defending Pokemon attacks, reduce the damage by 20 (before applying weakness and resistance) If your Active Pokemon gets switched with one from your Bench, attach this card to that Pokemon.
| April 13, 2002
|-
| [[Image:380-ShineyStadium.jpg|150px]]
| Shiney Stadium Stadium Card
| This card stays in play when you play it. Discard this card if another Stadium card comes into play. Damage done to all Pokemon with Shining in their names is reduced by 20 (before applying weakness and resistance).
| May 15, 2002
|-
| [[Image:102-HookedOnSonichu1.jpg|150px]]
| Hooked on Sonichu
| Take all Energy cards attached to a Pokemon with Sonichu in its name, and attach them to another one of your Pokemon with Sonichu in its name.
| November 29, 2001
|-
| [[Image:103-CWCsMaint.jpg|150px]]
| Christian's Maintenance Supporter
| You can play only one Supporter card each turn. When you play this card, put it next to your Active Pokemon. When your turn ends, discard this card. You can't play this card if you have more than seven cards in your hand, including this one. Shuffle 2 cards from your hand into your deck, then draw a number of cards until you have seven cards in your hand.
| September 7, 2002
|-
| [[Image:186-edgehogsInLove.jpg|150px]]
| Hedgehogs in Love
| For each Pokemon that evolves to or has Sonichu ro Rosechu in its name, search your deck for a Pokemon that evolves from that card and place it on that card (this counts as evolving) shuffle your deck afterwards. Then remove up to 3 damage counters on each Pokemon that evolved in this way.
| April 1, 2003
|-
| [[Image:Cwcdex.gif|150px]]
| Pokedex
| I'm Dexter, a Pokedex programmed by Prof. Oak for Pokemon Trainer, Christian W. Chandler of Ruckersville & Richmond, VA
Pokemon Trainer: Christian W. Chandler
| August 25, 1999
|}

==See also==
*[[Yu-Gi-Oh!#Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards|Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards]]

{{Relics of Fail}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]] [[Category:Lists]] [[Category: Relics of Fail]]