CWCki - User contributions [en]

User talk:Exemplary

2010-09-04T23:15:21Z

Exemplary:

This is my talk page. Feel free to complain about me and/or my edits here. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 16:15, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

User:Exemplary

2010-09-04T23:14:11Z

Exemplary: Replaced content with "I sometimes edit."

I sometimes edit.

Talk:PS3

2010-09-04T17:04:05Z

Exemplary: /* lolWUT */

== Every single purchase/download (as of feb 23 2010 ==

http://www.mediafire.com/?jym1gjw3gnf

YOU WILL KILL YOURSELVES TRYING TO ANALYZE THIS [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:32, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
* oh man. I am gonna have to steel myself a bit before I tackle that shit. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 13:06, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Aaaand I think I got it all. Now I will be depressed for the rest of the day. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 15:43, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

==To do==
*Chris's fanboy faggotry with PS3 (ultimate life upgrade, etc.)
*Make available a log of his PSN purchases.
*Make reference to credit card theft.

Is there a way to look up Playstation Network stats (e.g. trophies) while not on the PSN? [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:50, 17 July 2009 (CEST)
: The folks at /_cwc/ hinted that [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu nowadays we can]. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 15:30, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

* Chain these links together for his entire DLC purchases.
http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f5736ffdd
http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2
http://outerheaven2.pastebin.com/m26fb6764

http://outerheaven2.pastebin.com/f61a9b739 (his ALT usa account when he was hacked the second time)

uh yeah. this is pretty much the only thing that matters. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:56, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

* stats: total $2485.89 (dlc only not including hardware/software/game discs/umds...etc...chris's list of games for that info...so...)
634 total things (2 being tax from troll purchases when hacked first time post-julie)
1 29.99
1 24.99
4 19.99
1 17.99
6 14.99
2 12.99
2 11.99
33 9.99 (1 troll purchase made here)
1 8.99
7 7.99
4 6.99
14 6.25
79 5.99 (1 troll purchase made here)
1 5.50
42 5.49
40 4.99
20 3.99
1 3.49
60 2.99
6 2.49
203 1.99
1 1.49
81 .99
1 .66 (troll tax)
19 .49
1 .42 (troll tax)
3 .15

yeah. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:21, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

== I've got to say something ==

...he does have a ton of 100%s here, which does make me sorta little bit hexbox-green with envy. Though most of them seem to be from games with only a few trophies (closer to the 200-gamerscore arcade games in XBL). ''And'' a few of these look like pretty simple games. But still, surprisingly many, considering the fact that just a few months ago there were ''three'' games in the list with 100%.

Sincerely, just a random guy in the last stages of of grinding his way to 1200 G in ''Mass Effect'', --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 20:07, 2 December 2009 (CET)
:I wouldn't feel too bad about it. Considering his..."performance" in the various Youtube videos of him playing Soul Calibur or Little Big Planet, I sincerely doubt he actually platinum'ed anything himself. More likely, he just downloaded a save file from GameFAQs (or wherever). -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 23:25, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Friend Limit MAXIMUM!==
Chris' friend limit is at the max on his PSN account. Does he have another one so he can still stay in contact with his 'fans'? Also, how do I get his LPB levels HOW DID I GET HERE OH GOD I AM NO GOOD WITH COMPUTER
*The only way I know is to go on LittleBigPlanet and search Sonichu and you're guaranteed to find his levels. And don't forget to do your signature, btw. It's one of those buttons in the middle of the set right on top of this box. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 04:10, 3 January 2010 (CET)

== I've gotta be honest ==
I was expecting a NOGAEMS joke somewhere in the article. [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 20:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*If there's no direct link to Chris, expect it wouldn't be there. It's a way to keep the blubber away. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:23, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

== Does Chris have a fat or slim PS3? ==
I'm sure he had a fat one but knowing Chris, he probably bought the slim too. If he does indeed use the fat one, was he not affected by the PSN clock death thing that happened recently? [[User:Dave|Dave]]
*it probably was affected but it didn't matter as the problem is fixed. he bought it when it first came out so he has a fat one. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

==Chris's game of the month==

This section is to inform people about the game Chris is currently playing the most for the month, for example a the last two seem to have been spent playing Heavy Rain and God Of War III, well this month Chris has revealed to the world that he's got his hands on the aclaimed sandbox game Infamous.[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 18:52, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
*That makes too much sense--he's probably playing it right now, pretending that it's actually the Sonichu game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:29, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
** Yeah or he's pretending the gang members are his trolls and the leaders of them are, Blue Spike, Liquid Chris, and Clyde Cash respectevly.[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 23:26, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
***Ah fuck. I liked Infamous! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:31, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
**** I do to, but I'm stuck on the level where you're supposed to protect Trish's bus.

Some of us have him friended on the PSN, right? Would it be possible for us to keep track of Chris's total time spent using the PS3 each month? Also, I can't see the individual trophies on his PSN profile--I assume that's just the site fucking up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:41, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

* What I do is compare trophies.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 00:14, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
** Also I have sent him a friend request a fews months back, he hasn't responded.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 00:15, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

== Trophies and achievements ==

I was wondering: Since Chris seems to be such a trophy junkie, is he aware of the fact that the idea of trophies is heavily inspired by the "hexbox 360's" achievements? Has he ever mentioned anything about it? --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 15:55, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

==PlayStation Plus==
Do we know if Chris has subscribed to the new $50 service yet?--[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 03:13, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

==PS3 Destruction Video==
Chris mentioned that the PS3 still went into standby mode after he pounded and run over the console. Is it possible that Chris's problem was something other than a network issue? It sounds like the PS3 might have YLODed. --[[User:Captkrisma|Captkrisma]] 18:45, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

== Actual effects of reformatting ==

I don't have a PS3, so I'm kind of asking someone more knowledgeable to ramble about this in the article: How much did the reformatting actually affect Chris? I thought the worst that happened to him was that he lost his savegames and LBP/MN stuff he hadn't uploaded yet, and he could just re-download the purchases and the mod content he had uploaded to the servers. Another thing: What about the older HDs? Would he have had a chance to recover some of his stuff from there, or does the data-transfer process wipe the old stuff? (I don't see why it ''should'' do a crazy thing like that, but hey, consoles are weird sometimes.) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 00:55, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yes, purchased content could easily be redownloaded and anything he uploaded to the network would still be there. To my knowledge, upgrading the hard drive does not require you to wipe the old one, but I've never done it so I don't know for sure. If his older data was still on the HDs, it sure isn't now. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:33, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

== Yes he has a new one ==
Fuck me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:03, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, like nobody saw that coming. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 12:39, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:Do you know what he's doing with the rest of the $9001? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 12:48, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

== lolWUT ==
The current revision of the article as I speak has this oddity:

<blockquote>"It was revealed through a series of e-mails that Chris had destroyed his beloved Life Upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a troll reward. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea more, not even realizing that he had destroyed an item that could have netted him a lot more than the prize he sought."
</blockquote>

The PS3 and games cost Chris somewhere in the vicinity of $3500, a fact that is mentioned in a lot of places on this site. $3500 is just a little over half of the troll prize ($9001). Resale value for games is never a matter of making profit, it's about breaking even. You're not going to see $3500 again, especially not with a used PS3 and Chris's relatively small stack of used games. It's a miracle to make back your investment.

Even on eBay, you're only going to profit if you have the latest and greatest console during the first month of the launch and said console can't easily be found in stores. Even that has it's limits though usually only a couple hundred more than retail. The only way you can truly profit in the above-$5000 range is if you sell your whole game library (which obviously needs to be massive) or if you have a rarity like an RDI Halcyon prototype or a NeoGeo AES with a sizable stack of games.

I read the email, and nothing was mentioned about another reward for the intact PS3, much less a $9K< reward so what kind of acidcrack was the revision writer on suggesting you could get bookoo (buukuu? beaucoup?) money for Chris's PS3? [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:18, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

: $3500 is a little over a ''third'' of $9001 last time I checked. [[User:Smokedaddy|Smokedaddy]] 02:27, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

: I'm fairly certain that the intention was to get him to destroy his PS3 since he's a greedy sumbitch. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 15:23, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

:: Captainhowdy? Try Captainobvious, or maybe even NoShitSherlock.¬_¬ Some editor said that Chris could have made more money with an intact PS3, which is bullshit. If it was just a false statement to troll Chris further, what good did it do? He doesn't read the CWCki religiously, he'll never know! I'm just bitching about stupid shit, I'd remove it myself but you never know what needs to stay and what needs to go article-wise when it comes to this place. We all know the intent of the trolls, I'm just pointing out a blatant research failure one of them made. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:29, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::: The reason that shit was put in is because there was a troll reward for $9001 dollars that Chris was trying to cash in on. Just like it says in the article. It has nothing to do with selling anything. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:39, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::: Goddamn, dude, NO SHIT. Do you see the last line in the quoted section? WTF is it there for? IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE IN THE CONTEXT OF THE TROLL! THAT'S WHY I WENT ON A TANGENT! I would delete it, but you never know article standards here, if that terrible "ghettogangsta nigga" style coffee-place siting article can't be deleted, who knows about this? Shit man, read the quoted section above, see if you can clarify it. Because both of you have done jack shit in that area so far. If I can't get a reason as to why it's there by tomorrow, I'm going to quit fucking around and delete it myself. Shit. [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:45, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::: Herp derp, im not a troll derp. I read what you wrote and it's a valid point. The sensible thing to do would be to edit it out and say why in the summary, not rant on the talk page and make someone else fix it. Make it so. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:47, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::: Also, as for the "both of you have done jack shit in that area so far", this is my second account. If you're looking for my contributions, look at [[Special:Contributions/Thelieisacake|this shit.]] [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:50, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::: My bad, I get what you're saying. I was just unsure of what we can and can't edit (Clyde threw down the hammer when it came to that dude wanting to edit that terribly-written coffee place article). I'mma deleting it now. Sorry I flew off the handle, it was slow-in-the-mind of me. We can delete this whole thread if you want. EDIT: I like what you did. Good job. Y'know it's too bad Clyde doesn't really have $9001, he could give it to Cogs so CWCki would have a server that doesn't crash more than a narcoleptic.[[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:54, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::Don't worry about it, shit happens. If Clyde were to flip shit for no reason, he wouldn't be a mod for long. As long as you can justify your edits, they will stay. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:58, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::It astonishes me how many people don't understand the value of the Coffee Place article or its submitter. It's a fine piece of fieldwork from one of our best trolls. And it should be extremely obvious from even a cursory reading why. [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 16:36, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::::::::[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|center]]
::::::::I can't see Chris. CAN YOU? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:40, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::::::Also, again, Jenkins hasn't done shit. Now let's stop bickering about Jenkins before we get NOT A FORUM slapped at the top. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:44, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:I would like to point out that 1) I was the guy who wrote that part, 2) I probably misread that part of the e-mail when I did read it and 3) was bitching about something that didn't look right ''really'' necessary? Seriously, man, ''it's an error''. I'll go correct it.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:56, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::1) Cool story, bro. 2) Nice, bro. 3) "Should we really point out the errors in our articles?" Well yeah. He didn't do it the way we normally do, but that doesn't make his point invalid. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:11, 4 September 2010 (PDT)
:How about next time you see an error, you correct it instead of bitching about it on a talk page --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 10:04, 4 September 2010 (PDT)

Fridays After Five

2010-07-22T02:34:02Z

Exemplary: /* 16 July Sighting */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|140px|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[Image:Fa5 2colorlogo.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's new [[attraction Location|prowling ground]]]]
'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert series that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. In [[June 2010]] [[Chris]] was video recorded there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

Chris first mentioned Fridays After Five in a [[6 June 2010|video]] explaining his near hit-and-run on [[Michael Snyder]]. Based upon this knowledge, the manchild has been attending the event since at least 4 June 2010. Chris first alludes to his knowledge of Fridays after Five in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin']], in which he stands outside the Charlottesville Pavilion and mentions how [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] play there every Friday night.

== 18 June Sighting==
{{-}}
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris trying to pick up a [[boyfriend-free girl]].]]
[[Image:Dancing.gif|right]]

On 18 June 2010, Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan ([[YouTube]] name [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]) took these videos and pictures of him out in public.

According to the author, Chris wore a T-shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "[[gay]] circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|PokéWalker]]. At some point Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]" on with permanent marker. Note the apparent, inexplicable (knowing Chris) absence of the [[Medallion_of_Fail|Medallion of Fail]] - although it could have been removed just temporarily in order to simplify the (probably planned) act of pulling back the shirt.

Chris's clothing indicates he is looking to put a new twist on his [[Love_Quest|old tricks]]. Like the [[Attraction_sign|attraction sign]], Chris is shown making a point to display the writing on his clothing, declaring that he "enjoys vagina" and "wants woman". This is yet another example that this [[autistic]] man-child does not learn from the mistakes of his past. Also, the videos filmed at this event mostly showed the back of Chris's head, which shows a small but emerging [[bald]] spot.

Besides exposing his covered bosom to potential [[sweetheart]]s - mostly [[pedofork|severely underage]] - Chris spent his time at the event [[Flipnote Hatena|drawing flipnotes]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi, and trying to dance with a disturbing mix of Chicken Dance and [[autism]] - with all the grace and skill of [[CWC Fighter]].

It is unlikely that Chris was aware of being photographed, which proves that all these actions are Chris's idea of being normal. When Chris eventually realized (or it seemed so) he was being observed, he suddenly disappeared like Batman.

== 9 July Sighting ==

[[File:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|right|Chris sat on his fat ass - a truly rare sight.]]
On 9 July, the troll who spotted Chris on [[McIntire Park#Independence Day Sighting |Independence Day]] spotted him again. According to the troll, Chris had unscrewed the zoom lens from his DSi and was using it as a rudimentary telescope by pressing it up to his eye.

The troll goes on to report that Chris appeared to creep out a nearby high school girl by turning to her and saying something. This resulted in the girl huddling up with a group of her friends, who all proceeded to laugh at Chris. He probably never realized that the girls were laughing at him, not with him.

This time the troll managed to take a picture of Chris, who appears to be wearing three [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers of Fail]]. Two are red and white, and a custom painted one is barely visible underneath his arm. He also has what looks like a small bottle of hand sanitizer tucked into his belt. Chris [[The_GAMe_PLACe|has been known]] to immediately follow up any handshake with using hand sanitizer on himself. Chris is also holding a [[Attraction Sign|small piece of paper]] between his legs in both photographs, proving even further that he hasn't learned a single thing in the past seven years.

The troll's report in full:

{{quotebox|
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point.}}
{{clear}}

==16 July Sighting==

[[File:Manzone.jpg|thumb|right|Something like this.]]

On 16 July a different troll managed to spot Chris at the park. While no photos were taken the description given paints a very... ''unusual'' picture.

While the initial footage from June introduced the "Want Women" bra as a sort of makeshift attraction sign, the most recent sighting reports a full-fledged return of an actual [[attraction sign]], albeit a very basic one.

The hula hoop is more puzzling. It's entirely possible that Chris brought it to add to the dance moves seen on this very page, but given Chris's [[Sonichu's Edge|abysmally low stamina]], [[obesity|corpulent physique]], and total lack of coordination or dancing ability, this seems like a very unusual choice. Another theory is that he used it to mark the boundaries of his "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone".

{{quotebox|This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell.}}

==Gallery==
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:100 0669.JPG|The return of the King.
File:100 0670.JPG|[[100 2178|All alone.]]
File:100 0671.JPG|Fuck yeah! A [[gal-pal]]!
File:100 0673.JPG|The gal pal's gone...
File:100 0674.JPG|Oh! Potential new gal-pals!
File:100 0676.JPG|Creepy...
File:100 0677.JPG|...fucking...
File:100 0678.JPG|...scene.
File:100 0681.JPG|Eventually, an urgent need to [[Flipnote Hatena|DRAW SOME SHIT]] prevails.
File:100 0682.JPG|Chris enjoying the real world. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an 8 year old.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot.
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris. Notice that he hasn't bothered to fully remove his shirt.
File:100 0695.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom.
File:100 0696.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT GODDAMN
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies.
File:Fridayafterplan.png|CWC's plan B.
File:FAF-06092010.jpg|From autistic trucker to dorkish plumber.
File:WantMan.jpg|CWC's [[Homos|plan C]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Videos==

{{collapsible
|Videos of Chris in a public place, a rare sight.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = manchild
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J4dib0pmpjE}}
| Stardate = 18 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0690.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tbU7ao0i-Ew}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0691.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDlJ-ZY5Opk}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0692.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vdibt4Ll2gs}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Rollin' and Trollin']]
*[[Pedofork]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download the videos]
*[http://www.charlottesvillepavilion.com/fridaysafterfive/ Fridays After Five at the Charlottesville Pavilion]

[[Category:Social life]]

Pokéwalker of Fail

2010-07-11T17:59:32Z

Exemplary:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:PokewalkerIRL.jpg|thumb|right|A Pokéwalker in real life.]]
[[File:Walker.jpg|left|thumb|All the 28-year-olds are doing it!]]
[[File:Pokewalkerblownup.jpg|left|thumb|Why would he wear them if he isn't walking?]]
[[File:PokewalkerSonichu.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's hypothetical depiction of the Pokéwalker of Fail.]]

The '''Pokéwalker of Fail''' is Chris's most recently-appearing relic of fail.

A Pokéwalker is best described as a hybrid of a pedometer (unfortunately, not a [[pedofork|pedo]]-meter) and a [[Wikipedia:Tamagotchi|Tamagotchi]] that's PokéBall-shaped and was originally bundled with the [[Pokémon|''Pokémon HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver'']] versions. Chris is using it not because he's interested in his [[Chris and health|health]] and wishes to monitor his exercise, but because you can place a Pokémon in the pedometer and gain experience points for it, find items, or catch more Pokémon by walking. While the item is meant to encourage exercise among nerds, Chris sports not one but ''three'' in an attempt to triple his gains with 1/3rd of the effort. In an ironic way, this makes Chris even more lazy.

Chris being the [[autistic|artistic]] fellow that he is, repainted his with Sonichu's colors in imitation of a Sonichu ball.

It made its début on [[6 June 2010]] and later appears with him in public during the events of the [[Fridays After Five]] Concert that Chris attended on 18 June. Another picture of Chris on 9 July shows that he owns at least two regularly-colored Pokéwalkers. Normally one Pokéwalker is included with ''HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver,'' so either he bought an extra walker off the website or bought both HG and SS. Your tax dollars at work!
{{Stub}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

SHE IS MINE NOW

2010-07-07T13:23:25Z

Exemplary: /* Transcript */

[[Image:Crazy.jpg|thumb|"I will kick your asses. Because I'm crazy."]]

'''SHE IS MINE NOW''' (officially '''10292009 - Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW''') is another call out to [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], uploaded on 28 [[October 2009]]. In it, he [[Chris and music#Rap|raps]] again and declares that [[Kacey]] is his and that Liquid lost her.

Ian plays a wide array of Aerosmith tracks in the background, undoubtedly in an attempt to seem rebellious and dangerous. He [[Autism|shuffles]] back and forth throughout the video and seems to have aged considerably since [[For_Chris_No_2|''yesterday'']]. He also finally changed his shirt.

He also does his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]... that or another [[rage]] attack. Who knows?

It is also important to note that Ian seems to be sweating a fair amount in this video and can be seen wiping sweat from his brow. The sweating appears to become more profuse towards the end of the video compared to the somewhat dry start, go ahead and watch.

==Original video from the real Chris==
<center>
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = BACK THE FUCK OFF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Vrxb_8dWa5Y}}
| Stardate = 28 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:sexn.png]] [[Kacey]]
| Performance Matter = [[Image:rage.png]] Rage
| previous = [[For_Chris| THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK]]
| next = [[SHE_IS_MINE_NOW#MC CWC responds| MC CWC responds]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
Huh! Don't wanna play nice, do ya?! I'll school ya! [''Jump cut''] I'll s- I'll s- I'll school ya. I'll take you to town!

[''Liquid Chris steps back from the camera and preforms several fighting moves similar to the ones seen in [[CWCFighter]].'']

I'm comin' for ya!

[''Re-approaches camera'']

I am the only one here who is fit for [[Kacey]]! [''Jump cut''] And another thing! [''Jump cut''] Uhh. Yeah this one's for you.

[''Steps away from the camera'']

The real deal! '''[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-HAAAAAAAA!!]]'''

[''Jump cut. Liquid Chris is close to the camera again.'']

Oh and by the way. I have been talking to some people named [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Gregg Mays]], who have told me personally, that they are going to help me take you down! [''Heavy breathing, possibly due to the extreme cold''] And, uh, yeah! Jack Thaddeus, his assistant Samanda Handroil, Samantha Handroil and Gregg Mays, who is a good man, and what ha-has given me some information on you, so that uh- I don't think- I don't think you'll like it very much at- mmmh [''More heavy breathing''] I don't think you will- I don't think you would like it very much if it got out and ruined your life forever.

So yeah. Jack Thaddeus, Gregg Mays. They're on my side now. Mmm. So get ready, arch-nemesis. I will be waiting. And to the rest of you, peace, eh.

==Ian's video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = SHE IS MINE NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|03SIGcEcAJE}}
| stardate = 29 October 2009
| maker = [[Chris|IBAChandler]]
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{TanWideLines|text}}
| previous = [[Clyde's_Buddy_Matt_Getting_SUPER-LAID!!!| Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]
| next = [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]
}}

{{quote|<poem>You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me
Come fight me in person
Come out from behind the camera you fool
I'll fight you any day!</poem>|MC Chris, [[Chris and music|"rhyming"]]}}

===Transcript===

Yo! MC Chris! I'm gonna rap it to ya, man! Listen up!

<poem>
[''Ian begins "rapping" while Run-DMC's cover of "Walk This Way" plays in the background'']
I seen yo video yous a lame ass
[[Sonichu|You done copyin' this and that]]
[[homos|I'm gonna screw you]], I'm gonna take you to town
Who do you think you are, [[South Park|Eric Cartman]]?
[''Ian does terrible Eric Cartman impression''] Screw you guys, I'm going home!
You had all with the [[pedofork|sweet little girl]]
And yet you break your promise!
You done turn your back on her and turn to the trolls!
You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me
Come fight me in person
Come out from behind the camera you fool
I'll fight you any day!
Poop-pow! [''flails arms in an obscene mockery of punching'']
[[CWCFighter|And I'm gonna just plain kick yo ass!]]
''From-looking-at-your-body-type'' you's a total width and shorter than me!
I'm a good five foot ten, what are you, like a four foots eight?
I tell you something right now
That ain't gonna let you laid,
Yet you had it once with her and you let it down
You's a big ol' dang... stupid lame-ass clown.
Because you know you had all the blessings
She was smart she was sweet she was riwwyvery fun!
And I'll tell ya what ya did...
You... she done left you boy!

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Rag Doll"''] You lost her! You treated her like a [[Kimmi|dang ragdoll]]!
Dang ragdoll...
And she ain't no ragdoll, she's a caring human being!
And you is- and you is a dang fool for mistreating her like you did.
And I [[love]] her for- I love her for so much more than that.
And you so dumb... And you threw it all away, man.
She left you and now she's with me.
</poem>

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Dream On"''] So at this point, you could just... [''Turns back and fast forwards through the intro to the song, pauses awkwardly to wipe sweat''] So at this point man. I'll tell you what you could do, because all your notions you had with lovely, with sweet [[Kacey]]. This point, you could just... DREAM ON. Cause she and I we share [''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion".'']

[''In an ear-splitting high pitched whine, while holding up the [[Claw of Fail]]''] SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET EMOTION. You didn't share no sweet emotion. You just done played her for a fool. And I don't ca- and I don't take to fools like that. [''whispers: Please don't. I swear.''] And by the way you know what? I don't care about bein' a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] because you know what? She and me are gonna be like [[Sonichu_8#The_Elevator_Gags|LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR! LOVIN' IT UP IN AN ELEVATOR!]] I mean I tell ya. I tell ya what, man. She done leave you- she done left yous mang. She come- she come towards me. Because she's beyond beautiful.

[''Changes track to "Beyond Beautiful" from the Aerosmith Track Pack and then <s>sings</s> mumbles along, badly''] She loves me now, she loves you not! Listen to that! Listen to the words of Aerosmith! She's beyond beautiful, and she's beyond... brilliant. She is so kind. She cares a lot. She cared about you, too. But you done turned her down, man. You lost her. So face facts man. She's with me Mac- she is with me now. You're yesterday's news. Just like the- just like the [[Monthly tugboat|boat]] that the [[Random access humor|Mythbusters made out of newspaper and ice.]] Yesterday's news. Good show by the way, [[List of Chris's lies|I learned from it.]] So you can just move on, [[Wikipedia:Buster Brown|Buster Brown]]! 'Cause [[Chris|Mama Brown]] ain't gonna take that no more!

Yeah... and I will kick your ass, 'cause... I'm [[autism|crazy]]! [''Gibbers violently at the camera. Pauses, then does a more effete version of gibbering at the camera'']

C'mon! You come fight me in person, and I'll kick your ass! Come on!

...have a good day. Anse- when you- meet me in person.

==MC CWC responds==
<center>
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = MC CWC responds
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Po0EdTs0MpY}}
| Stardate = 29 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:sexn.png]] [[Kacey]] [[Image:music.png]] Music
| previous = [[SHE_IS_MINE_NOW#Original video from the real Chris| BACK THE FUCK OFF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU]]
| next = [[My_Half_of_A_Whole_New_World_for_Kacey#CChanSonichu CWC responds| My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
}} </center>

{{quote|Then I'm gonna turn you into a murder statistic,
Because, bitch 
I'm High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic|MC CWC, being '''fucking ill.'''}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:Ian responds to MC CWC.jpg|thumb|Ian's comments on Chris's Response.]]
Kacey, you understand, this… this Ian, this… you do not want anything to have to do with him. I will win you back! I promise!

And another thing, I am gonna show you who is the real, who is the real better, talented CWC, in order to, in order to get you back! Cuz I will have you back, bay-bee! I miss you!

Here he is MC – the MC CWC, throwin’ down his favorite rhymes y’all! Yeah, okay.

[''The beat from [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem's]] "[[Wikipedia:My Name Is|My Name Is]]" begins playing (yes, just the beat, because the Real Chris can actually play songs with the lyrics cut out)'']

''Kacey doesn’t love you – it’s true! 
''I checked her email this Tuesday at seven-oh-two 
''She has more apprehension than someone like you 
''Having his [[semen]], and [[recycling|drinking it too]] 
''In orange [[CWC Cola|Fanta, chocolate syrup]], you just can’t refuse 
''Mothafuckas online think that it cannot be true 
''But you prove them wrong, bottoms-up is yo motto 
''So it slides down yo throat, like a melty gelato 
''Wearin’ that bathrobe, like greener than avocado 
''Mashed up in a bathtub, infested with live mold 
''Your shower got a problem with that, so I been told 
''In fact I’ve seen it – you’re twenty-seven years old! 
''You get [[CWCFlyingElephants|naked on camera and dance around like ten-fold]] 
''Fuck you, nigga – you makin’ my head explode 
''You know, with the stop-this and the stop-that 
''And the [[Nudes|expose of your ass-crack]] 
''On the camera, it was so wack 
''Look like Jack Black, on your last track 
''Mothafucka, I’ve never tried kickin’ an ass this hard 
''But I’mmabout to chew up and spit y’all over one million yards 
''I’ll take yo picture and send it to yo bodyguard 
''Now everybody yeah, sing along 

''Now everybody drawin’ the [[comic]] pages for ages 
''The sages of rage, and the age of contagion’s voracious 
''And pages, like the mothafuckin plague is 
''Upon a plantation and faces just can’t explain this 

''Sorry – didn’t understand that? 
''Understand my ass-crack! 
''I’m [[Wikipedia:Back in Black|back in black]] – and so’s my battery 
''Runs on [[Wikipedia:AC/DC|AC/DC]], 
''You don’t deserve to listen to a band so legendary, 
''[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Get the FUCK off]] of Kacey, 
''Blaze me? You’re pasty! 
''You can’t stop me, or block me, or amaze me. 
''You won’t even [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|come to the rescue]], ‘cuz you’re lazy! 
''It doesn’t phase me that you’re crazy, 
''‘Cuz if I see you try to contain me, 
''Then when I kick your ass, and salt and shake thee 

''I’m gonna rip off 
''Your four-inch 
''[[Duck|Deformed dick]] 

''[[BlueSpike#Max|Shove it up your ass]] 
''Like a certain 
''[[Medallion of fail|Medallion]] 

''Then I’m gonna turn you into 
''A murder 
''Statistic 

''Because, bitch, 
''I’m High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic. 

''Out! 

Yeah. M’kay. Yeah yeah, yeah, m’kay, yeah you listen to that and you take in the words from that.

Peace, and have a good day.

==See also==
*[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
*[[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]|nextlink=[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category: Videos with RAGE]]
[[Category: Yo! CWC Raps]]

File talk:FlipnoteSonichu.png

2010-06-20T02:37:02Z

Exemplary: Created page with '==Drawing Style== How can he draw better with a DS stylus than a TRUE and HONEST pencil? --~~~~'

==Drawing Style==
How can he draw better with a DS stylus than a TRUE and HONEST pencil? --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 02:37, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Hair

2010-06-19T21:33:04Z

Exemplary:

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Due to what is speculated to be a hormonal imbalance, Chris is balding prematurely at the age of 28, which has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]]. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by December]]

When confronted in the Mailbag ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Troll|or a dude pretending to be one, lol]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has [[Racism|Sonichu in a sombrero]] (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZE SOMBREROS).

===Gallery of hair===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Hair

2010-06-19T21:32:26Z

Exemplary:

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Due to what is speculated to be a hormonal imbalance, Chris is balding prematurely at the age of 28, which has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]]. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by December]]

When confronted in the Mailbag ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays after Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Troll|or a dude pretending to be one, lol]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has [[Racism|Sonichu in a sombrero]] (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZE SOMBREROS).

===Gallery of hair===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

File talk:WantWoman.jpg

2010-06-19T08:15:56Z

Exemplary:

== This is Win. ==

Win, as in "Hi I'm Chris Chandler and I hate gays even though I dress like a gay trucker NO I AM '''NOT''' A HOMO."

This is a victory for lulz everywhere. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Wut]] 03:01, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== FUSION...HA! ==

Gay Trucker + IBA Outfit = lolwtf...? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 23:03, 18 June 2010 (EST)

Oh... god help me... does he actually think this will work?! I shouldn't be surprised, but some part of me wants to believe he can't be that insanely stupid! [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*I'm honestly surprised he hasn't been arrested yet...--[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 23:23, 18 June 2010 (EST)

:This picture is just...wow[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:53, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== The exclamation point emphasizes the fail ==

He already looks like a gay trucker. Does he want women (no pun intended) to think he's also a caveman?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:09, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:he probably thinks the gay trucker makes him seem more macho. God that makes it sound more gay.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 04:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==That outfit==

I am surprised that he hasn't found the girlfriend-free boy of his dreams yet. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 08:15, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-06-12T03:45:27Z

Exemplary: /* Updates */

==To do==
This needs a bit more work, such as including his references to Nintendo Power (like how he got his first Pokemon card from Nintendo Power), his hand drawn Nintendo Power, his other correspondence with Nintendo Power, and I think there's a slideshow pic where he shows off his envelope that he was going to send to Nintendo (from what I recall, people would decorate the envelopes with Nintendo characters and they would generally publish the best ones in the Reader's Letter section).

Right now, it's more or less a direct copy paste of the [[Sprung]] article and that really shouldn't be the case. There should be a brief description of the article, with a link to it, and the same for Chris's other correspondences. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:35, 21 June 2009 (CEST)

Got some work done, but still more to go. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:19, 30 June 2009 (CEST)

==Updates==

Copied transcript for the Animal Crossing documentary and Sprung Article from their CWCki pages. I'll add the pics of home-made nintendo power later, in gallery form. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 07:31, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Done --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 03:45, 12 June 2010 (UTC)

Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-06-12T03:44:52Z

Exemplary: added a gallery for the homemade nintendo power.

'''''Nintendo Power''''' is a video game-oriented magazine that has given [[Sonichu]] and [[Chris]] a substantial amount of press coverage.

No. Seriously.

==The magazine==
''Nintendo Power'' is a magazine devoted to promoting [[Nintendo]]'s video games, consoles, and so on and so forth, as well as providing cheat codes, strategy guides, sneak peeks at upcoming releases, and anything else one might want to know about Nintendo products, provided one doesn't mind getting it directly from a corporate shill. Chris, being in part a Nintendo fanboy, has had a subscription since the dawn of time.

Even though dozens of fans are featured in every issue in some form (fan art, fan mail, etc.), Chris firmly believes making into the magazine is an honor of the highest degree, and that the people over at the magazine actually remember who he is from the five minutes of fame he had years ago. He also appears to believe that being featured in the magazine is a one way ticket to getting a job with Nintendo.

==The hand-drawn magazine==

Chris maintained constant mail contact with the magazine. One of his letters was about a dream he had where Sega made a [[Sonic]] game for the Game Boy. Chris then [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|freaking hand-drew his own issue of Nintendo Power]]. With pencils, marker, and printed-out, cut-and-pasted text, detailing how Sonic arbitrarily transferred to Nintendo consoles to release a trio of Sonic games. That are direct copies of existing Mario games. It's every bit as pathetic as it sounds. Notably, it's Chris's first major attempt at [[Sonichu (comic)|slavishly recreating a commercial product by hand]], as well as the first appearance of [[Bionic]] the Hedgehog.

{{collapsible
|You can barely tell its not real
|<gallery>
File:003-NPSon.jpg
File:004-CWCsNP1.jpg
File:005-CWCsNP2.jpg
File:006-CWCsNP3.jpg
File:007-CWCsNP4.jpg
File:008-CWCsNP5.jpg
File:009-CWCsNP6.jpg
File:010-CWCsNP7.jpg
File:011-CWCsNP8.jpg
File:012-CWCsNP9.jpg
File:013-CWCsNP10.jpg
File:014-CWCsNP11.jpg
File:015-CWCsNP12.jpg
File:016-CWCsNP13.jpg
File:017-CWCsNP14.jpg
File:018-CWCsNP15.jpg
File:019-CWCsNP16.jpg
File:020-CWCsNP17.jpg
File:021-CWCsNP18.jpg
File:022-CWCsNP19.jpg
File:023-CWCsNP20.jpg
File:024-CWCsNP21.jpg
File:025-CWCsNP22.jpg
File:026-CWCsNP23.jpg
File:027-CWCsNP24.jpg
File:028-CWCsNP25.jpg
File:029-CWCsNP26.jpg
File:030-CWCsNP27.jpg
File:031-CWCsNP28.jpg
File:032-CWCsNP29.jpg
File:033-CWCsNP30.jpg
File:034-CWCsNP31.jpg
File:035-CWCsNP32.jpg
File:036-CWCsNP33.jpg
File:037-CWCsNP34.jpg
File:038-CWCsNP35.jpg
File:039-CWCsNP36.jpg
File:040-CWCsNP37.jpg
File:041-CWCsNP38.jpg
</gallery>}}

==The ''Sprung'' letter==
[[Image:393-CWCSprung.jpg|thumb|Now if only the women weren't afraid of him...]]
Chris has had better luck with Nintendo correspondence as the years went by. Most infamous was his letter to Nintendo about how ''[[Sprung]]'', a pseudo-dating-sim for the DS, helped him get over his fear of girls with boyfriends. For about five minutes. Yes, once again, exactly as pathetic as it sounds.
===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''DS Equals Dating Service'''

I recently purchased a Nintendo DS and a copy of Sprung. I originally bought the game, because I needed some lessons on what to say to, or do for, a girl. To make a long story short, I developed a fear that all the pretty girls are already paired up with a boyfriend. I’ve dubbed this social phobia, Noviophobia, after the Spanish word for boyfriend. Anyway, before Sprung, I was afraid to approach most women (FYI, I’m 22-years old). I tried to silently attract a boyfriend-free girl, mostly with signs, for over one year and four months. Then Sprung provided me with general things to say and do, so I felt more confident. When I tried my new-found expressions from the dating simulator, I forgot my fear of the infinitely high boyfriend factor, and I met a couple of lady friends with whom I feel more comfortable. So thank you, Nintendo and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed.

Christian C.

Via the Internet}}

==The Animal Crossing documentary==

Chris also got some airplay in Nintendo Power for his jaw-dropping [[Animal Crossing Documentary|video about his daily life in ''Animal Crossing'']]. ''Nintendo Power'' heaped praise upon the terrible little Let's Play, focusing more on Chris's character Sonichu (gee, what a surprise) and his in-game accomplishments than the lonesome manchild behind the mask or why he was called Sonichu. Nonetheless, Chris took this as a great stride forward in his quest to achieve video game superstardom without having to exert any effort or develop any kind of skill. Pathetic? Yes, you've picked up on the pattern.
[[Image:389-CWCSchuCross.jpg|thumb|Yay!]]
===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

''(Image captions:)''

Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.

He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.

And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.

Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.}}

It seems incredible, but someone was actually paid to watch Chris's video for an hour and then write about it. Note that many of the of the unique achievements mentioned are actually basic functions of the game any six year old can discover.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:390-NPVol179.jpg|Scrapbook image
Image:394-NPVol190.jpg|Scrapbook image
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]
*''[[Sprung]]''

[[Category:Video Games]]

Chris and death

2010-06-10T13:21:07Z

Exemplary: /* Yeardley Love (1987-2010) */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|right|Rest in peace?]]
'''Death''' stalks [[Chris]] at every turn, and as a result he is really poor when it comes to understanding and/or coping with death, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and his incredibly underdeveloped mind. Kids often don't understand death until they're quite old, around 10-12 years; before that, they usually just think it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a 3-year-old inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to sort of understand death; he even has a habit of appealing to dead people to "come back."<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts#A history (6:02 to 9:34)]]: "Patti, I miss you. Come home."</ref><ref>[[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]]: "Dedicated to Mr. Billy Mays II; Please Come Back Soon."</ref>

It could be that the only shows that Chris watched that dealt with death in any way had plot devices to facilitate the return of the departed. Chris, who is unable to connect cause with effect and considers behaviors from fiction to be interchangeable with reality, may simply assume that the dead can come back whenever they want.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (19XX-2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of the first of [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the Twin Towers. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. This has shocked many, including somebody who lost a loved one in the attacks<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M]</ref> and this could possibly be the lowest that Chris has ever gone.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:AZT-13/Chris-chan_Emails_Part_IV apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face] on the signature confirming the euthanasia process. As seen in the image used in this article, [[Patti-Chan|Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as an anthro]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in, in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]], in which she will only exist when he can be bothered to draw her. Effectively, he's stolen and erased her soul.

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended, yet he continues to use this example.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. Supporting this is a report that Chris periodically broke down in tears for as many as six months after her death.{{cite}} By comparison, the "death" of any [[Troll|Sweetheart]] will result in a day of mourning if they are lucky.

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this. About eight months later, Chris [[Chris's Big Night Out|became a huge hypocrite]]...

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former [[Sweetheart|heartsweet]] of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a <s>car crash</s> carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. SPOILERS: A [[troll]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the Sonichu characters mourn the loss of their professor. Sound like [[Chris|someone]]?

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|Chris, of course, reacted to this in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide.]]

===[[PandaHalo]]===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another [[sweetheart]] to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref> This flagrant disrespect shouldn't surprise anyone because Chris is a self-centered asshole. This saga ''further'' proved that Chris has no sense of empathy or respect for the dead.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her. Apparently, Chris didn't feel like he needed to honor the life of his beloved [[sweetheart]] and instead depicted her horrible, fiery death. He also has to mention that she "burned," which shows how he doesn't realize how painful and awful it would be to die in a fire. It's also not a term that anyone would use to describe the death of a loved one, providing more evidence of how little he actually cared about her. Because it took nine months to "honor" her death, he most likely decided he needed more god-awful characters for his shitty comic, was too lazy to create a new recolor and chose to use Chloe and BlazeBob, thus reminding him of PandaHalo, who he had likely forgotten, and made him decide to feature a memorial to her.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork. And then there's the issue of Sonichu 10 largely consisting of Chris murdering everybody he dislikes...

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May [[Troll|attempted suicide]] over [[Mumble_8|Mumble]]. Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out to her on a YouTube video]], with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. His reason for her to hold on? Because he'd be so sad without her. While mentioning the feelings of friends and families despair is typical in suicide prevention, Chris did it in such a selfish way, only thinking of how ''he'd'' feel, not how ''her'' family and friends would feel, that it was just full of [[fail]] and [[Chris and His Ego|narcissism]].

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also Shrove Tuesday, a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrove_Tuesday</ref> Needless to say, [[White knight#Chris cares only for himself|Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt]]. Patti was also obtained from her (see the e-mail link above).

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow, although any normal human would bring those up first and the dog would be lucky to get a mention at all.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-<s>2009</s>)===
In early 2009, Christian once seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, but cast a slight bit of doubt over the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case. He's back.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for Mays's death, and loudly denies that he was ever the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to Mays' family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that Mays was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris. He goes even further by stating that he was also his identical body double and "without the beard we'd look the same". At least he's admitting that he's overweight.

In [[Sonichu 9]], Chris slaps in a one-page intro with Billy saying that he was never was the mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon". Ninety pages later, we find out that Billy had seemed to die falling down an elevator shaft, attempting to free Ivy from HER gruesome death. The next issue, however, had him appear alive and well, trapped like [[Patti-Chan|Patti Chan]] in his own personal Hell of CWCville.

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Former [[troll|sweetheart]] Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Unless the original was somehow Ivy's favorite song, this is just short of "Another One Bites the Dust" as one of the worst possible songs one can dedicate to a recently deceased loved one. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's [[fail]].

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] of the comic. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of Slaweel and some weird faux-Transformers actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. Why he felt the need to make her death in the series gruesomely similar to her real-life suicide is a question for the ages. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for [[Patti Chan]] and [[BILLY MAYS]].

==="Mary Jo"===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss| recent mailbag]], Chris was asked by a troubled [[troll|fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.| Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another [[sweetheart|woman]] right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|asking]] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|for]] [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"|advice]], and then [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|begging]] for [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|help]] after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

The Mike Jackson "mini-saga" might be the most conclusive proof yet that Chris doesn't understand the consequences of his terrible advice, or the gravity of the tragedy he caused.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his [[Patti Chandler|fucking dog]]. Finally, after being faced with severe legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in [[Sonichu 10]], though not before she laid an egg with her husband Wild (though, of course, their wedding and the act of laying the egg were never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real. Not figuratively, not essentially: ''literally'' real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===Yeardley Love (1987-2010)===
Yeardly Love was a lacrosse player for UVA who was murdered. Chris uploads a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but doesn't bother to even say her name. He also states that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for smoking. Later in the video, [[Chris and His Ego|he reroutes the subject towards himself]] and states how everyone needs to be sympathetic of him and his autism and saying that he's [[Chris and anger|not]] [[Chris and race|a]] [[Chris and sex|bad]] [[Chris and rape|man]]. In other words, he uses the death of a girl he never knew or really cared about in order to make himself look good.

===[[Bob|Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]===
[[File:Ctrl-alt-chrischan.jpg|thumb|He remembered his PSP.]]
Coming soon... Both are well into their "Silver Years" and suffering from many health issues, compounded by their age. It doesn't help that they're [[Tour of Chris's House|living in a landfill]].

As of 01 [[March 2010]], Bob is in the hospital with congestive heart failure, owing to his age, [[McDonald's|diet]] and lifestyle. In the Twitter announcing Bob's heart failure, Chris has stated that he believes his father will survive and showed more concern for the [[stress]] he was under than his own father's health. On top of that, during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], Bob stated that he already died (probably for a minute or two and then was brought back, or his heart had to be stopped during surgery). The inevitable might (probably will) happen soon...

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Dead]]

CWCipedia

2010-06-05T10:39:17Z

Exemplary: /* Return Of The Captain? */

{{Honest}}

{{quote|Abandon hope all ye who enter here.|From Dante's Divine Comedy, eerily summing up CWCipedia}}

[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction.jpg|thumb|Chris proudly claimed the CWCipedia in the name of [[CWCville]]]]

'''CWCipedia''' (not to be confused with the [[CWCki]]) (now the '''Sonichu Fans Wiki''') was a wiki set up for the sole use of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], as a sort of personal wiki as opposed to Chris vandalizing the CWCki with his bullshit. Furthermore, it was designed to allow Chris to "get the truth out" as he so desired to do on [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|his Wikipedia profile]].

Since its inception, Chris had more or less treated the page as free web hosting, a place to put his comics without having to pay for the resulting bandwidth use. CWCipedia also served as the ultimate test of the use of MediaWiki software and software usability, in that it strove to create a platform that even an [[autism|autistic]] manchild/lazy fuck can easily use. Of course, Chris, being a retarded fuckface, still managed to fuck it up from time to time, even with a Sysop holding his hand.

Chris has a tendency to let his mind wander while typing up his entries. For example, in his [[Sonichu]] article he ends up going off on a rant explaining what had happened to [[Kel]] (even though it didn't involve Sonichu at all), and the fact that Chris himself is the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon gym. This leads into Chris describing his supposed gym at length, what Pokémon he has in his team, and his collection of Pokémon in the game (in addition to their level and how he had leveled them). This somehow leads to a fantastically retarded idea for a Pokémon game system that's basically just the holographic projectors from [[Yu-Gi-Oh]], except with Pokémon. After all of that dumbfuckery he gets back to talking about Sonichu again.

==The early days==
Several months after Chris began using the wiki proceeded without incident. He was able to display his comics and music, share more details of his personal life, reveal more background information about the world of CWCville, and shout his bizarre homophobic rantings from the virtual rooftops in peace. The administrators of the site remained a silent, benevolent force behind the scenes.

Towards the end of 2009, this would change.

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Untitled.png|thumb|100px|left|Ensuring that Chris sees them EVERY TIME he visits.]]
[[Image:NewCWCipediaFrontpage.jpg|thumb|Chris's revised frontpage]]
As 2009 came to a close, CWCipedia's operators ran into financial trouble keeping the site in the black, given the many hits it gets on a daily basis and the profusion of large files held on its servers. To help keep the site up and running for its TRUE and LOYAL [[fans]], the Sysop that maintains the website for Chris turned to selling advertising space on the site. Keep in mind that these ads were all randomly generated by metadata created by Chris and the people browsing his site, not special hand-crafted ads made by [[trolls]]. Due to the somewhat complicated laws of the jurisdiction in which the servers reside, ads may only be purchased from within the European Union.

Chris makes '''NO''' money from the advertisement revenue. All of it goes to keeping CWCipedia up and running.

Chris responded to these ads with a few complaints to the admin and [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was the only donor who delivered over €1000, qualifying him to create custom advertisements on the site. [[CWC Blog#7 December 2009|In a blog post]], Chris hoped that ''someone'' within the EU would be able to step up and donate so much money that they'd not only qualify for custom ads, but help to ''remove'' the homoerotic ads that appeared on the site (even though most online advertisers give ''no'' such heavy-handed preferential treatment to premium advertisers, and indeed, no such stated policy exists in CWCipedia either). Even though it may have been tempting for some European fans, the appeal of this opportunity seemed limited. You can buy a [[PS3]] for you ''and'' your friend with €1000. Or buy three [[Hex Bawx|Hex-Boxes]]. Or four Wiis. Who ''would'' pass up such an opportunity?

On 27 December 2009, the ad space, which was previously at the very bottom of CWCipedia's navbar on the left side of the page, was moved to the very top of the navbar. Another ad appeared on Chris's main page beside the logo. On 28 December, Chris flipped out and replaced it with an ad for the his beloved [[My Coke Rewards]] program. The Sysop, however, scolded Chris, telling him that ''he'' had no control over the ads.

On 30 December 2009 Chris, unable to change the now-protected main page, lashed out the only way he could, by adding a block of text to the bottom of his (already hideously ugly) front page image, declaring that no ads were allowed on that page. In the message he said that he would not remove this block of text until the offending ads were removed from the main page. To put this in perspective, Chris ''defaced his own website'' in an attempt to get someone else to stop advertising on it. You can guess how well that worked.

On 2 January 2010, Chris began cluttering the website with his ads again, shilling for [[CWC Cola|Coca-Cola]], [[Wild Sonichu|Avatar]] and [[It's UGH!|Proposition 8]]. He took his self-bestowed title of [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Captain]] to an absolute extreme, posting the following message to CWCipedia:
{{quote| I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another [[Mailbag]] or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so [[Chris and his Ego|as Captain of this website vessel]].
'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''}}

Additionally, Chris posted the following message to his [[Twitter]]:
{{quote|C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and [[Chris and Anger|Mutiny will not be tolerated.]] Stay Safe, and have a good day.}}

As to whether or not [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]] will receive forty lashes less one for his inevitable insubordination, Chris has no comment.

Due to gay porn ads on the CWCipedia, on 01 [[February 2010]] Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|unleashed]] a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] upon Mao "Bamboo" Ling, after which he "[[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologized]]" to Alec and [[Evan]].

Eventually, on 26 [[February 2010]], Jack Thaddeus returned with an unclickable ad reading "JACK'S BACK" (in text, later converted to a jpeg) and featuring a picture of a man releasing his [[navy]]. Chris, surprisingly, never reacted, even though he has a [[Homos|giant homophobic ass]].

{{collapsible
|CWCipedia advertisement gallery. ''Note: The captions in this gallery are the alt text and links for the ads.''
|<gallery>
Image:CWCipediaAudiobookAd.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#g/c/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 Watch the newest audiobooks here!]
Image:CWCipediaAutismAd.jpg|[http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/ Asperger's Syndrome is a serious condition. Get the Facts.]
Image:CWCipediaVlasicAd.jpg|[http://www.vlasic.com/ Taste the Juicy Crunch!]
Image:CWCipediaGayRightsAd.jpg|[http://gayrights.change.org/ Support Family Guys everywhere!]
Image:CWCipediaMexicoAd.jpg|[http://mexico-travel.com/ Discover the facinating world of Mexico]
Image:AxeAd1.png|We all know how [[homos|manly]] [[Axe]] is.
Image:AxeAd2.jpg|In stores now!
Image:Beepboop.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:DateThree.png|[http://www.lotsofloves.com/ Quit playing the waiting game!]
Image:DebtConsolidation.gif|A [[Chris and money| Chris and his money]] are soon parted
Image:DicksSporting.png|[http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/home/index.jsp No Joke]
Image:Diversity.png|But [[niggos|"No Darkies"]]
Image:DuckPreservationSociety.png|[http://www.woodducksociety.com/ You should always take good care of your duck!]
Image:Eyesight.png|Plus, if you go blind, you can't enjoy shirtless men.
Image:Fkinglie.png
Image:GayAutismCure.jpg|Get yours today!
Image:GayAutisticSingles.jpg|The man of your dreams could be living next door!
Image:GayAutisticSon.jpg|I bet Chris [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Could.]] [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|Twice]].
Image:GayDrawing1.png|[[Sonichu (comic)|Case in point.]]
Image:GayDrawing2.png|You know what sounds like [[Autism|artistic]]?
Image:GayForGod.png|[[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] Approves.
Image:GayOtakuSexClub.jpg|Can I bring my [[Anime Wings]]?
Image:GayPokemonDVDs.png|That's digusting! Get a [[Muscle bra]] and cover up!
Image:GLISTENINGHALF-NAKEDBLACKMEN.jpg|This one is my favorite.
Image:Heavenlyreward.png|After you die, you get your [[Semen#Comeuppance|Comeuppance]].
Image:HEXBAWKSad.png|A [[Hex Bawx|"Life upgrade"]].
Image:HGwait4u1.png|He's already a [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|fan]]
Image:HGwait4u2.png|AUTISM HOOOOOOU~
Image:Hitlerpedia.png|[http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights.html Bill of Rights]
Image:HOTTHROBBINGGAYCOCKjpg.jpg|Cumming to butts near you.
Image:JoinTheNavy.gif|[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-425.html/ DON'T ASK DON'T TELL]
Image:JustGuys.png|There's nothing wrong with [[High_school#Social_life|only hanging out with one gender]]
Image:Knight.png
Image:PlayNow.png
Image:Kool-Aid.png|It's recommended by 9 out of 10 High Functioning Autistics
Image:LearnAboutIslam.png|Chris has lots of [[mailbag|fans in the middle east]]
Image:Lipitor.png|Better [[Chris and health|stop taking it]] before it makes you [[homos|gay]]
Image:Mystery pic.png|Can you identify our mystery penis?
Image:Naivewater.png|[[Naïve|It's not what you think it is]]
Image:OK2BGay.png|[http://okaytobegay.blogspot.com/ There's a big difference between bending down and kneeling over]
Image:OxieCleanAd.gif|GETS OUT AUTISM, FAST! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
Image:PickelParty.png|Sounds promising
Image:PicklePops.png|Pop a Pickle in your mouth today!
Image:PKMN4HP.gif|That HP kid is a total [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spastic spaz]
Image:Sexvote.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:Specialsomeone.png|They don't meet the [[Attraction Sign|requirements]]
Image:This2this.png|Go from [[Obesity|THIS]] to [[Clyde Cash|THIS]]!
Image:VirginiaLaw.png|[[Jerkop|I am the LAW]]
Image:CWCipediaChrisLesGayAd.png|[http://www.eflgc.org.uk/ What do you mean, 'gay and Christian'? It's not possible... or is it?]
Image:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|It seriously is.

</gallery>}}

==The Twitter feed==
{{main|Twitter}}

On 25 December 2009, the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the [[Mailbag|mailbag]]. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of the 27th Chris removed it in a fit of rage and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN GAYS!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 December 2009 (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later Chris would create a special page for the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Twitter Twitter] feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his fans with stories of him doing yardwork. The wise and magnanimous Wiki Administrator later put to the feed to the front page of CWCipedia, due to the fact that ''(ahem)'' it probably needed some wider exposure.

== A history of (un)availability ==
===CWCipedia closed due to A(I)DS===
[[Image:CWCipedia-Home-Copyright.jpg|thumb|The CWCipedia as it appeared on 1/1/10]]

During the last weeks of 2009, Chris became more infuriated as the gay ads continued piling up. In desperation, Chris began placing ads of his own that didn't inspire uncomfortable questions about his sexuality. The Sysop became furious at Chris's unauthorized interference and warned him that if he didn't remove the ads, serious consequences could happen.

On 2 January 2010, the CWCipedia was served a cease and desist notice by the Coca-Cola Company for its unauthorized use of their logo on the site. Thus, the Sysop was forced to close the website for a few days until the matter could be resolved. Having learned a little first-hand regarding what [[Chris and copyright|copyright law]] is all about, Chris issued an [[This_was_my_fault|apology]] on YouTube. In the video he claimed that he thought Coke would appreciate the free advertisement, but he is completely unaware that no self-respecting company would ever want their product to be associated with his website of fail.

Within a few days the site was returned to normal.

===CWCipedia closed (again) due to theft===
[[Image:Cwcipedia closed again.jpg|thumb|right|The CWCipedia's source page as of 2/6/10]]
In the early morning of 6 February 2010, the CWCipedia was closed down again, this time thanks to a DMCA request from representatives of [[Evan|Evan George]]. According to the request, Chris's use of the character [[Simonla Rosechu]] on his website and in his comics infringes upon Evan's intellectual property, as Simonla is clearly a derivative of Evan's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was most likely triggered by Chris's announcement, [[5_February_2010|in a video from 5 February]], that he agreed to do away with Simonla and stop featuring her in his comics, but only at an unspecified "later" time.

Three days after the CWCipedia was locked to edits, it was wiped from the internet entirely. In its place appeared a redirect link to Asperpedia; however, due to a bug, it redirected to an online role-playing game, ''Dogs of the Seas''.

===CWCipedia lives on===
On 12 February 2010, the CWCipedia was revived to a certain extent. Although it was still locked to edits and only a "login required" screen was accessible, it was functional enough for Alec Benson Leary to display the first two pages of "[[Asperchu#Sonichu_Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]." The next day, Chris fulfilled [[Evan]]'s request and the CWCipedia was restored for all people to see. "Sonichu Revolution" continued onward from there, prominently featured at the top of every page of the CWCipedia.

On 24 February 2010, a new set of ads appeared on the CWCipedia, calling Chris out on his [[Christian Love Day (video)|unwarranted self-importance]] on his birthday, with a message from [[Fan: Moon-Pals|Sean]] imploring fans to give gifts to victims in Haiti instead. The next day, CWCipedia vanished for a couple of minutes for unknown reasons. Likely due to Wild and Simonla's [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]]. When it returned, for a few days visitors were treated to the sight of a series of animated ads featuring gigantic ejaculating cocks, revenge from Jack Thaddeus in response to Chris's execution of the Asperpedia Four at the end of [[Sonichu 10]].

===CWCipedia closed due to parody===
{{quote|Also, you might want to take a look at your site before you go around advertising it... Some pretty vulgar vandalism you have going on there on a majority of pages.|Some guy on LittleBigWorkshop. Chris never read this and discovered the vandalism the next day.}}

Going into March 2010, Chris appeared to lose all interest in updating the site or presenting any meaningful new content. He neglected updating the Mailbag and stopped uploading new comic pages. His only additions to the site in the first three weeks of March were a series of rants directed at trolls and his fans, where he accused them of breaking up his pursuit of [[the Wallflower]] and complained that the demand for new Sonichu comics was ruining his life.

On 18 March 2010, CWCipedia was taken down and replaced with a redirect to a [[parody]] version of the website run by [[Mao]]. The Sysop had decided to allow Mao to buy a permanent redirect for 100 dollars. Since Chris was the captain, he decided to sail the U.S.S. CWCipedia into an iceberg and let it sink, making Jack pull all his funding and forcing the Sysop to shut the site down for good.

===[[CWCipedia vandalism|CWCipedia opened for everybody]]===
{{Quote|STOP THIS!!! THIS IS MY DOMAIN, and I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SCREW IT UP!!!|Chris, somewhat upset.}}
[[Image:Niggachris.jpg|thumb|One of the hundreds of images uploaded by trolls during their epic vandalism.]]

A day later, however, the original CWCipedia returned. At the same time, Mao was given sysop, bureaucrat, and oversight powers on the site, suggesting the arrival of a new "captain" on deck. The result was much good vandalism, most notably on the main page itself, by "Kine", "SEANBOTMK2", "ALECBOTMK2", "EVANBOTMK2", and "Metal Asperchu." Soon, account creation was enabled for all and the website was utterly vandalized in a flurry of [[duck|genitalia]].

===CWCipedia closed to outside edits again===
Early on 22 March WikiSysop returned to the site after being busy on other projects and quickly reversed everything back to the pre-Mao state of the site. However much of the pictoral vandalism continued to remain in the history of many of the pages, and several pages were not changed back, either due to WikiSysop skipping them over or not caring.

===Broken dead===

During the early hours of 31 March, the front page of the CWCipedia [[Patti Chandler|decomposed]] into HTML code. This was attributed to the nature of the 110mb server. The [[Honest content|true and honest]] version created by [[Mao]] is still up and running.

===Resurrection===

Whether it was through coincidence or an act of Godbearjesus, the CWCipedia came back on Easter Sunday. It is more likely that some technicians actually worked through the easter weekend just so an autistic manchild can carry on putting up badly drawn comics when he feels like it for his [[Trolls|fans]].

===Traitorous mutiny===

On 24 [[April 2010]], the sysop uploaded the rest of [[Sonichu 11]] and updated the [[Captain's Log]]. However, many quickly learned that these new pages may not have been as true and honest as they first appeared, as it involved [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] filing for divorce, [[Reginald]] whipping [[pickle|it]] out in front of [[Robbie]], Sandy gets hit by a car, Wild commits suicide by blowing his head off, and all three of the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu kids]] getting killed by drinking detergent (actually, Cerah survives, but was put out of her misery by being smothered with a pillow). Two days later, Chris discovers the vandalization and replaces all of the images with a disclaimer that work on Sonichu 11 was ongoing. He then called out on the sysop's "traitorous mutiny", but was willing to forgive her. He then ranted about how he'll find peace off the internet, [[Youtube Finale|suggesting he may]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|quit the internet]]... [[Lie|again]]. (SPOILER ALERT: He didn't.)

===A new face===

{{quote|DO NOT "[[South Park|SOUTH PARK]]" MY WORK.|Chris, on Daria's changes. What he means by this is currently unknown.}}

On 13 [[May 2010]], a new user called DariaCamacho appeared on the CWCipedia. She then proceeded to edit the main page and its templates as well as making new character bios. Chris, still highly paranoid after [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], reverted her edits on 14 May. The next day, displaying HTML skills similar to Chris, she broke the main page, which was again reverted, and added a message to her talk page asking Chris why he didn't appreciate her edits. [[Ego|We all know why.]] Chris then added his own response on 16 May, telling her not to "[[South Park]]" his work.

===CWCipedia gets gang-banged (again)===

On 26 May 2010, CWCipedia was hacked, again. And once again, it was open to everyone. Several pages, once blanked and/or deleted were restored, and ''[[Sonichu 11]]'' had the not TRUE and not HONEST comic pages back up. DariaCamacho was revealed to be Mao in disguise, using Chris's stupidity as a weapon against him.

==CWCipedia abandoned and revived==

Frustrated by this new wave of trolling, Chris, [[100 2188|in a message in a recent video]], declared the CWCipedia abandoned:

{{quote|As of today, May 27, 2010, I, Christian Weston Chandler, relinquish what was the Cwcipedia. I am keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday, as well as my Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all therein.

I stand by my own past statements, and I ignore and heavily disagree with, detest and abolish all that are stated Against me on the internet.

[[List of Chris's lies|I never meant to become famous]], and I wish to [[Manchester High School|go back]] to when there was little against me.}}

With the declaration made, the CWCipedia became perfect breeding grounds for [[duck|dicks]] and [[Doctor Robotnik|PINGAS]]. However, Mao Ling swooped in and rescued it. Given to [[Hamsty the Hamster]], the CWCipedia was revived and [[Sonichu Season 2|a new season of ''Sonichu'']] began.

==Return Of The Captain?==

On 4 June 2010, over a week after he abandoned the CWCipedia, Chris seemingly returned to the CWCipedia, writing in his Captain's Log that he's taking back the CWCipedia from those "D*** trolls". However, if you read his TRUE and HONEST FAQ, you would notice that it is just another trolling attempt.

==See also==
* [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia (pre-vandalism)]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Special:Recentchanges?hidebots=0 Recent Changes] - monitor the latest updates

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]

Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes

2010-06-05T10:29:56Z

Exemplary:

The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoon, the syndicated ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' (not the more serious [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|Saturday morning show]]).

The contest's grand prize—a $1,000 video game shopping spree—was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]]. This [[semen|seminal]] event marks both the high point of Chris's life and the first hint of his future decline into the manchild we know and troll today. The segment below was from [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] NBC affiiate [[Wikipedia:WVIR|WVIR]].

The video shows several revealing things, namely that Chris's verbal skills and fashion sense have not improved since he was twelve. In fact, the only thing that has visibly changed is his sense of entitlement.

Ever since winning the Sweepstakes, Chris has entered several other contests, expecting to win through the sheer power of his [[autism]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yGlFUf9ZEcM}}
| stardate = 26 [[1990s#1994|February 1994]]
| maker = NBC's WVVIR
| subject = {{Television|text}} {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RainbowBoy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Leaked]]}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Song of Christian#Part 1|Song of Christian]]
}}

===Transcript===

'''Anchorwoman''': Well, we've got a little more for ya, including what Sonic the Hedgehog means to a very special [[Charlottesville, VA]] boy. And the significance goes ''way'' beyond the [[List of Chris's lies|high score]] and [[List of videos|videos]].

[''one clip cuts out and another begins'']

'''Anchorwoman''': Finally, tonight, Sonic the Hedgehog is running [[Wild Sonichu|''wildly'']] in [[Chris's_homes#Cloverleaf_Lakes_Apartments|the Chandler household]] this weekend. 12-year-old Christian Chandler of Charlottesville was the winner in [[monthly tugboat|a video game shopping spree]]. Christian is one of only about a hundred winners nationally to receive [[Chris and money|''$1,000'']] worth of Sega games and equipment. For his parents, it’s just another example of how well he's doing. Christian is a high-functioning autistic child. This past fall, [[stress|of his own initiative]], he entered a contest based on a favorite cartoon character.

'''Chris''': It had to do was exactly… watch Sonic the Hedgehog… uh, ''cartoon''… an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it… and writin’ it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman''': And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then… ''move onto another!''

'''Co-anchor''': Unbelievable…

'''Anchorwoman''': I can't master any of ’em! That's it for ''now'', and it’s just… comin’ up on the NBA basketball game at 5:30. It’s not 6:30; it’s 5:30. We'll see you back here at 11:00. Thanks for watching.

'''Co-anchor''': Good night.

'''[[Niggos|Black]] anchorman''': Buh-bye.

[''one clip cuts out and another begins'']

'''Anchorwoman''': —winners nationally to receive ''$1,000'' worth of Sega video games and equipment. Christian ''is'' autistic, but his entering the contest completely of his own accord was a sign to his parents of how well he is getting along.

'''Chris''': It had to do was exactly… watch Sonic the Hedgehog… uh, ''cartoon''… an—and [[Punchy|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it… and writin’ it down for a whole week. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman''': And Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for the boy to master one of the electronic games before he moves onto another one.

==See also==

*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=n/a|nextlink=[[Song of Christian]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes

2010-06-05T10:23:44Z

Exemplary:

The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoon, the syndicated ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' (not the more serious [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|Saturday morning show]]).

The contest's grand prize—a $1,000 video game shopping spree—was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]]. This [[semen|seminal]] event marks both the high point of Chris's life and the first hint of his future decline into the manchild we know and troll today. The segment below was from [[Charlottesville,_VA]] NBC affiiate [[Wikipedia:WVIR|WVIR]].

The video shows several revealing things, namely that Chris's verbal skills and fashion sense have not improved since he was twelve. In fact, the only thing that has visibly changed is his sense of entitlement.

Ever since winning the Sweepstakes, Chris has entered several other contests, expecting to win through the sheer power of his [[autism]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yGlFUf9ZEcM}}
| stardate = 26 [[February 1994]]
| maker = NBC's WVVIR
| subject = {{Television|text}} {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RainbowBoy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Song of Christian#Part 1|Song of Christian]]
}}

===Transcript===

'''Anchorwoman''': Well, we've got a little more for ya, including what Sonic the Hedgehog means to a very special [[Charlottesville]] boy. And the significance goes ''way'' beyond the [[List of Chris's lies|high score]] and [[List of videos|videos]].

[''one clip cuts out and another begins'']

'''Anchorwoman''': Finally, tonight, Sonic the Hedgehog is running [[Wild Sonichu|''wildly'']] in [[Chris's_homes#Cloverleaf_Lakes_Apartments|the Chandler household]] this weekend. 12-year-old Christian Chandler of Charlottesville was the winner in [[monthly tugboat|a video game shopping spree]]. Christian is one of only about a hundred winners nationally to receive [[Chris and money|''$1,000'']] worth of Sega games and equipment. For his parents, it’s just another example of how well he's doing. Christian is a high-functioning autistic child. This past fall, [[stress|of his own initiative]], he entered a contest based on a favorite cartoon character.

'''Chris''': It had to do was exactly… watch Sonic the Hedgehog… uh, ''cartoon''… an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it… and writin’ it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman''': And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then… ''move onto another!''

'''Co-anchor''': Unbelievable…

'''Anchorwoman''': I can't master any of ’em! That's it for ''now'', and it’s just… comin’ up on the NBA basketball game at 5:30. It’s not 6:30; it’s 5:30. We'll see you back here at 11:00. Thanks for watching.

'''Co-anchor''': Good night.

'''[[Niggo|Black]] anchorman''': Buh-bye.

[''one clip cuts out and another begins'']

'''Anchorwoman''': —winners nationally to receive ''$1,000'' worth of Sega video games and equipment. Christian ''is'' autistic, but his entering the contest completely of his own accord was a sign to his parents of how well he is getting along.

'''Chris''': It had to do was exactly… watch Sonic the Hedgehog… uh, ''cartoon''… an—and [[Punchy|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it… and writin’ it down for a whole week. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman''': And Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for the boy to master one of the electronic games before he moves onto another one.

==See also==

*[[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=n/a|nextlink=[[Song of Christian]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Sonichu and Rosechu's children

2010-06-04T04:06:24Z

Exemplary: /* Evolution */

[[Image:Sr_kids.JPG|thumb|388px|right|From left to right: '''Cerah''', '''Christine''', '''Robbie.''']]
'''Cerah''' (sometimes spelled '''Cera'''), '''Christine''' and '''Robbie''' are the [[Chris and Sex#Incest|inbred]] children of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. Cerah is the oldest, followed by Christine, and finally Robbie.<ref name=married>[[Sonichu#Married Life and Children]]</ref>

They are identified by their whiny, high-pitched voices and irritating [[speech impediment]]s. It is notable that to date Sonichu or Rosechu have not been seen spending time with a child of the opposite gender. Rosechu spends large amounts of time with Cera and Christine [[Women's rights|in the kitchen]], while Sonichu engages in manly activity with Robbie such as engaging in eye contact.

The children are widely hated by '''everybody''', even more so than the other characters. They make ''[[wikipedia:The Brood|The Brood]]'' look adorable and charming.

==Appearances==

[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|left|Sonichu: The comic that's not afraid to tackle child molestation.]]
[[Image:Thisemotionyoucallwuvconfusesandinfuriatesus.jpg|thumb|right|The only insectivore that will ever wuv Chris.]]

The kids' most prominent appearance to date is in the sign Chris drew to show his support for [[McIntire Park]]. They've also been seen in a one-page insert in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' Issue 9]], as well as begetting a quick mention on page 41 of the same issue. They spend the rest of their time being watched over by their Spanish [[lesbian]] nanny, [[Heather Iglesias]], while their neglectful parents waste time trying to assist their [[Chris|hideous father]] in his quest for [[Sonichu Balls|balls]].

The hellish abominations spawned from Rosechu's [[China|loins]] have also appeared in [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and in [[Sonichu 11]]. Sonichu 11 is where Chris started making comics of said Christmas Story. Here we learn that Christine is no longer a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]], and Robbie replaces his R's with W's while speaking in an effort to be as saccharine and grating as possible. Although, this could be interpreted as a way of Chris trying to pass of the extremely complex dialogue Robbie has as something a child would say, you know because he's making malapropisms like those [[wikipedia:Family Circus|melon-headed kids in the funnies]]. Cera (formerly Cerah) breaks the fourth wall to say "I wuv you!" to Chris.

The little shits end almost every statement with "Yay!". It should be noted that this is how [[Chris]] talks, not how ''children'' talk. They are also known for their creepy, blank expressions.

Robbie makes a brief appearance in [[Sonichu 10]], describing an incident which involved him pissing on a lizard. Needless [[Patti-Chan|cruelty to animals]] is one of the early signs of a [[Christian Weston Chandler|potential psychopath]].

According to [[CWCipedia]]<ref>[[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Cera_Rosechu&diff=prev&oldid=7012| The not TRUE and HONEST CWCipedia article on Cera Rosechu</ref>, Cera grows up to marry Kyle, the son of [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles]], whom she already knows in her Kindergarten class and [[Women's Rights|on whom she is academically reliant]]. Most people are too affected by [[wikipedia:Westermarck_effect#Westermarck_effect| the Westermarck effect]] to ever see a childhood friend as a potential sexual/romantic partner, but then, Chris never understood [[Chris and Psychology| psychology]] very well, and clearly [[Sarah Hammer|feels no such effect himself]]. Furthermore, the Westermarck effect works as an innate safeguard against inbreeding, and since Cera has only got one grandfather and Kyle is her pseudo-cousin, maybe the effect just decided to give up on this particular family tree altogether.

===Evolution===

If we take what Chris said in his [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|"business presentation"]] as canon, happiness/[[Gal-pal|friendship]] is a major factor in the development of sonees and roseys. This, of course, raises the question of ''why'' these little fuckers haven't evolved and joined the legion of one dimensional sideshow attractions in [[Sonichu]]. The logical conclusion is that they are both [[Patti-chan|mistreated]] and [[Chris|friendless]]. Given that [[Sandy]] evolved in a week after the [[Sonichu 10| toilet-related death of the mother she never knew]], the level of abuse would have to be [[Death threats| extreme violence]] or [[Rape|sexual assault]]. Still, since Chris has been known to rip off [[Pokemon]] mechanics on a whim, he could claim that the children are under the affects of an Everstone, which would prevent them from evolving. That, of course, raises the question:

''[[Pedofork|Why are Sonichu and Rosechu keeping their children in an everlasting childhood?]]''

==Shiny==
Christine is a "Shining Rosey" according to Chris.<ref name=married /> Unsurprisingly, Chris has, yet again, ripped off an element of ''[[Pokémon]]'' canon (in the games, a Pokémon that has a different coloration from what is usual for its species is considered to be "shiny"), because Chris lives, breathes, eats, and shits Pokémon. Chris also seems to believe that [[trolls|his readers]] are also Pokéfags like him, because he assumes that everyone understands what the term "shiny" means, and thus neglects to elaborate any further.

It is impossible for Christine to actually be "Shiny"--if we are to assume that pink is the normal color for a Rosey and purple is the "shiny" version, then that fails to explain why Sandy was initially white. This naturally casts her parentage into doubt.

It is believed that Sonichu and Rosechu claim Christine is a shiny to hide the fact her real father is either [[Magi-chan]] or [[Darkbind]], which would explain her distinct purple coloring. Darkbind is often considered to be a more likely candidate, with Magi-Chan's obvious [[Homos|homosexuality]] in mind. However, given the [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|possibility]] that Rosechu may indeed be a [[Silvana|hermaphrodite]], it is not entirely inconceivable that she and the lavender wonder got drunk one night at a bar and accidently got knocked up with this little bundle of [[fail|joy]]. Hell, maybe Rosechu is both the mother ''and'' the father.

It's also possible that Christine is in fact the daughter of [[Chris and Sex#Bestiality|Chris and Rosechu]]. Chris's hedgehog form is blue, and pink is a kind of red. Combine the two and you get purple. Chris is also an apathetic psychic, so it's not unlikely that he wiped or altered Rosechu's memory of the event. Most damning of all is the fact that when uploading images to the CWCipedia for the character bios, he mistyped "ChristineRosey.jpg" as "''Crystal''Rosey.jpg", suggesting that he at the very least sees her as a daughter and at the most another sue for Crystal.

In [[A Sonichu Day|Chris's live-action production of a day in the life of Sonichu]], Rosechu extolled the virtues of Christine's shiny nature, implying, if not outright stating a bad case of parental favoritism. It's unknown if Rosechu loves Christine more than her other children because she's more valuable, or if it's because Christine is the only reminder she has of her forbidden affair with Christine's real father. At any rate, Rosechu seems perfectly happy to pander to Christine's bare-faced arrogance like the disgusting sycophant she is.

==Fan art==
[[Image:Robbieisadick.jpg|thumb|right|The ugly truth.]][[Image:Robbiesonee.png|thumb|left|Isn't he cute?]]

The children of Sonichu and Rosechu are also a [[:Category:Guro|popular subject]] for fan art. In August, 2009, a large volume of art depicting Sonichu and Rosechu's [[Sex#Pedophilia|frolicking]] children was emailed to Chris. [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|He did not appreciate it,]] for some odd reason. Ironically, in a later comic, he all but confirmed this art as canon with the strong implication that Christine is not a virgin, most likely deflowered by Sonichu himself.

==Interpretation==
It is clear through Chris's portrayal of the kids that he believes all children to be perfect little angels; Cera, Christine, and Robbie are all very pleasant and agreeable kids who enjoy spending time with and helping out their parents. Any of the alarming things they have done (such as the hint at rape or the urination on a lizard) were clearly intended by Chris to be endearing, and not as disturbing as they really were. The children are never shown misbehaving, throwing tantrums, or doing any of the less-than-wonderful things that anyone who has spent even five minutes with a child knows that they are prone to doing. This clearly demonstrates yet another facet of Chris's [[naïve|naïveté]] about the world. It's a good thing [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] will never be born, because Chris would be in for quite a surprise...
{{-}}

Perhaps its very telling that there is only one Sonee in the second generation of sonichus ([[Sandy]] included) and all the rest are female. It is even more telling that Robbie is supposed to be the avatar for Chris's childhood; this confirms the idea that Chris hates all [[JERKS|men]] (besides himself and [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn't_hate|a few others]]), and now it seems to apply to children as well. This should come as no surprise, given that he had mostly [[gal-pals|female friends]] growing up. Therefore, Christine is obviously [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had, and Cerah [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg is] [[Sarah Hammer]], the friend he couldn't hold onto. The fact that he was able to see Ms. Hammer as both sister and love interest is frankly [[Sex#Incest|alarming]].

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==
*[[Sonee & Rosey]]
*[[Sonichu]]
*[[Rosechu]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]
* Wikipedia article on ''[[wikipedia:The Lurking Fear|The Lurking Fear]]''

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Chris and video games

2010-05-27T07:43:46Z

Exemplary: /* Modding and customization */

<center>{{#ev:youtube|PZ2D7pRLz6Y}}</center>

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spiderman]]'' says it...]]

[[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris may well spend more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for a woman who will emerge from the internet and have sex with him. He [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he'll admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all.

In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. Reality isn't so simple, which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==
Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He had a Nintendo Entertainment System and a Game Boy before he was eight years old and acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis.

His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
{{main|List of Chris's video games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly 700 different game titles across 19 different platforms. Sony consoles dominate his collection — counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings up the rear. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the Xbox is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console; however, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]].

The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money (and [[monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]] at that) has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for — there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while.

One of the more egregious examples of Chris' video game related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty dollar Street Fighter IV Collector's Edition, as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on [[eBay]]. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available — what he talks about on his websites and YouTube, what his PlayStation Network profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around — Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''Animal Crossing'', ''Guitar Hero'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene productions. Even his beloved ''Brutal Legend'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned, even if it's an M-rated title full of foul language and heavy metal music.

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PlayStation Network downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for Disgaea 3, a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads.

It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely common or extremely shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for Sewer Shark, except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the Pokémon series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. (Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.) One would figure Chris to be a big Nintendo fan, but other than Pokémon and Animal Crossing, franchises that are actually loathed by hardcore Nintendo gamers, he shows little interest in the games that actually keep Nintendo's underpowered systems alive to begin with. He never seems to show interest in high-profile games like ''Super Mario Galaxy 2'' or ''Metroid: Other M'', and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (like ''Metroid Prime'', ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time'' and ''Super Mario World'') are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks. He also owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. Games like ''Call of Duty'' or ''Grand Theft Auto'', examples of "hardcore" games aimed at adults are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some Wheel of Fortune instead.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "weeaboo" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (Sonic, Pokémon), the United States (Guitar Hero, Brutal Legend) and Europe (Burnout, LittleBigPlanet). He counts a few Japanese Game Boy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe Megan Schroeder — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the CWCville Shopping Center. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile HEX-BAWX. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the PS3, most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''.

According to [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Video_games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at the Game Place.

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the $50 annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a cave-dwelling autistic, anyway).

There is one Xbox 360 game he seems to be very interested in. [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], which is seen in [[Sonichu 10]] being modified for the PS3. Instead of fantasizing of something like Mass Effect 2 being ported, he picks some crappy dating sim no one in their right mind would be interested in. This of course, is entirely predictable of Chris.

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you.

Mailbag correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PlayStation Network. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's syndrome]].

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008.

In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that." Exactly what he meant to say in the Mumble chat is unknown.

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network, but he doesn't seem to spend too much of his time actively following more dedicated gaming websites or message boards. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the Game Boy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with Megan's quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===

Due to the fact that console games are often not moddable, Chris hasn't been able to show off his creativity in this field too much yet. That said, Chris has already made a ton of levels in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]],'' and is apparently excited about ''[[ModNation Racers]].'' He hasn't, however, shown too much actual competence.

Chris seems to also think that light customization features that the games offer are very important. He spent considerable time on ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' villages is simply colossal. According to [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Grind Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX''; In the latter, the customisation is limited to swapping around car parts and choosing colors and decals.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[Club Nintendo]] - With details on Chris's Wii download collection
* [[Hex Bawx]] - More details on Chris's campaign of irrational hatred
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Marvel at the massive waste of taxpayer dollars
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]] - Speaking of taxpayer dollars...
* ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' - The game that ate November 2008, Chris's favorite title of the last few years
* [[PS3]] - Chris's "life upgrade" and current console of choice

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Video Games]]

The Kevin and Bean Show Segment

2010-05-21T08:00:12Z

Exemplary: /* Welcome to the show! */

'''The Kevin and Bean Show Segment''' is an 8 minute radio clip in which the hosts of the self-titled ''The Kevin and Bean Show'' on KROQ 106.7 FM in California find [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|one of Chris's Captain's Logs]] and comment on it. For the most part of it, they are horrified; so horrified that they spend ''2 and a half minutes'' playing "Viewer Discretion is Advised" warnings before they play the tape.

This clip is one of two radio segments that were aired about Christian Weston Chandler and his antics.
==The video==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|ZtcJZPlQurw}}</center>
==Transcript==

===Welcome to the show!===

'''Presenter 1:''' --he's just a weird, geeky guy and he... ''[trails off]'' ...you're not usually a stellar choice, but tomorrow, you'll find out why it's '[[wikipedia:Top_Gun|Top Gun]] Day'. Apparently there's a new holiday joining the calender, guys, that we didn't know about. Top Gun Day.

'''Presenter 2:''' Hmmm...!

'''Presenter 1:''' Find out more about that, also actor [[wikipedia:Steve_Zahn|Steve Zahn]]'s gonna join us tomorrow. Look, uh, this video we're about to talk about is up at the Comedy section of KROQ.com. ''I'm'' wondering if this is a ''real'' guy, you know, a real geeky guy and he's speaking from the heart or if this is going to turn out to be the next "Borat". This is some sort of comedy genius and this is some kind of crazy character he's created. What do you guys think?

'''Presenter 2:''' Hold up one second.

'''Viewer discretion warning 1:''' The reenactments and commentary in this program may contain frank talk of a sexual nature. Viewer discretion is advised. ''[First guy laughs during this]''

'''Presenter 1:''' Alright, now that we got that in...

'''Presenter 2:''' H-Hold on.

'''Viewer discretion warning 2:'''This program contains adult language and subject matter, viewer discretion is advised.

'''Presenter 1:''' Right, so he turns this...

'''Viewer discretion warning 3:''' This dialog contains sexually explicit content. Viewer discretion is advised.

'''Presenter 1:''' He's a guy, who--

'''Viewer discretion warning 4:''' These images are too shocking for young children.

'''Presenter 1:''' ---he's sitting, he's sitting---

'''Viewer discretion warning 5:''' A warning: the following you're about to see and hear is explicit. Viewer discretion is advised.

'''Presenter 1:''' ---he seems to be sitting in his room and he's describing things that he likes to do and I can't imagine-- I don't-- I can't put myself in the position of a guy who want to video tape this and put it up on the internet for people to know these sorts of things about him and I figure, there must be some other reason he's got.

'''Presenter 2:''' It ''sounds''-- by the way, if he's an actor, then he's a ''genius''.

'''Presenter 3:''' ''Yes.''

'''Presenter 2:''' It sounds like he's gotten some responses to videos that he has already video taped of himself and put up on online.

'''Presenter 1:''' He also has his own little YouTube channel.

'''Presenter 2:''' Yes

'''Presenter 1:'''And he's developed a ''cult'' of people who can't believe what he's talking about. Yes.

'''Viewer discretion warning 6:''' Parental discretion is advised.

'''Presenter 2:''' Alright, so, um, this is ''him''...

'''Viewer discretion warning 7:''' ''[It is too fast to comprehend, but Presenter 3 laughs during this anyway]''

'''Presenter 1:''' Alright, here we go.

'''Viewer discretion warning 8:''' If you have little children nearby and you allow them to listen to this conversation, [[ Sonichu and Rosechu's Children| you are a bad parent]].[[Sandy| A ''really'' bad parent. You are seriously ''[censored]'' up]]. [[rosechu|You with illegitimate kids and your bad judgement and whatnot]].

'''Presenter 1:''' He's a little bit of an [[obesity|overweight]] guy with a [[hair|receding hairline]], he's wearin' the-y'know, the [[chris_and_fashion|polo shirt]], and he's in what looks like his [[chris's room|bedroom]] with-it has to be dozens and dozens of action figures behind him. He looks like he'd be a sci-fi geek.

'''Presenter 2:''' He's not talking about sci-fi.

'''Presenter 1:''' He looks like he's in his late... twenties, maybe even thirty.

'''Presenter 3:''' [[chris and health|Aging badly]].

'''Presenter 1:''' Which makes it all the more disturbing.

'''Viewer discretion warning 9:''' This program contains graphic images that may be disturbing to sensitive viewers. The people profiled all survived. Discretion is advised.'''

[''The presenters all laugh'']

'''Presenter 1:''' You won't wanna survive though after you hear it, here's the dude.

===Playing the video===

:'''Chris:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log, uh, Stardate April 28th 2009]].

'''Presenter 1:''' ''Anyone'' who starts with Captain's Log, Stardate...

'''Presenter 3:''' Yeah.

'''Presenter 2:''' You've got a guy who belives he's living on the bridge of the Enterprise.

'''Presenter 1:''' That's correct, yes.

:'''Chris:''' Uhh... a-about... it's- it's a...good idea some-uhhh, if uh it's a good idea, but, uh.

'''Presenter 1:''' Now, he's referring to a video that he put up that people are questioning.

'''Presenter 3:''' Okay.

'''Presenter 1:''' They're saying, "Why would you do that?". So he's referring to- I think it's a good idea if it doesn't bother you, but if it does bother you, then you don't have to do it.

'''Presenter 2:''' What's he talking about?

'''Presenter 1:''' ... [[dirty, crapped briefs|you'll find out]].

:'''Chris:''' You know you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but... I [[recycling|recycle]] my own [''BEEP'']. [''The beeped word is '[[semen]]', for you newfags and [[User:Ronichu|retards]]'']

'''Presenter 2:''' Oh, wow.

:'''Chris:''' Yes, I recycle it.

'''Presenter 1:''' Ok, you could use your imagination but its something that comes out of the body.

'''Presenter 2:''' Yeah and its...yeah.

'''Presenter 1:''' And by the way it seems to me, and i think this is a rule of thumb, nothing that comes out of the body, needs to be saved or recycled...

'''Presenter 2:'''[''Laughs in the background'']

'''Presenter 3:''' No...

'''Presenter 1:''' ...or treasured

'''Presenter 3:''' ...no, just let it go.

'''Presenter 1:''' Whatever fluids or solids you're imagining right now, all of those should be done away with, there's a reason they're expelled from the body, no reason to try to save that stuff.

'''Presenter 2:''' That's correct. Or recycling--this is taking recycling maybe a little too far, is what we're saying.

:'''Chris:''' Anyway, the—anyway, af—from after that the, uh, second topic, the, uh, one where I spanked myself.

'''Presenter 1:''' Okay, here's another video he's talking about where he apparently spanks himself.

:'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just, uh, I was doin' that for fun, because sometimes I do my random, silly, crazy things...

'''Presenter 1:''' [''chuckle'']

:'''Chris:''' and, uh... [sighs] ''sometimes'' adults feel pleasure from pain...

'''Presenter 1:''' Alright, now this is where he gets into his big thing which is "I'm an adult, and adults act this way".

'''Presenter 3:''' Is he assuming I'm a child?

'''Presenter 1:''' I don't know what he's assuming.

'''Presenter 3:''' Because he's kind of talking to me like I'm a child.

'''Presenter 1:''' But I can tell you that I've never done this I've never really spanked myself on camera.

'''Presenter 3:''' But you're an adult!

'''Presenter 1:''' But I've never done-I've ''never'' spanked myself on camera.

:'''Chris:'''...even when they, uh, do it to themselves. Just, like, you know, spanking is a generally a pop—generally a popular type, uh, thing amongst adults. And then the, uh, third topic which was the—uh, the—uh, the photographs of, uh, me a... dult diapers.

'''Presenter 1:''' Okay so the dude..the dude recycles when he shouldn't, uhhh, the dude spanks, and now the dude wears diapers.

'''Presenter 3:''' Why does the dude wear diapers?

:'''Chris:'''...regalry—legularly I, uh, do not use them, but I just felt like trying a pair on. And it was okay.

'''Presenter 1:''' He ''felt'' like trying a pair on, he wanted to see what the sensation was like!

'''Presenter 3:''' They're diapers!

'''Presenter 2:''' Yes.

'''Presenter 1:''' How busy is this guy that he can't walk from his bedroom to the bathroom? Now, and here's where it gets interesting, because he ''again'' refers to the fact that he's an adult and who hasn't worn a diaper? Y'know, like, who hasn't done that?

:'''Chris:'''...it just pen—it just builds up and sometimes, uh, it just—I just have to—it just comes out, and I sometimes accidentally, uh... poo my pants. But I mean, who hasn't in their lifetime, I mean, [bleep] their underwear...

'''Presenter 1:''' Umm, me?

'''Presenter 3:''' Me too?

'''Presenter 2:''' Everyone, probably?

'''Presenter 3:''' Put me in that category.

'''Presenter 1:''' Who hasn't? So first he says "I wanted to feel the sensation-I wanted to feel what it was like", but then who hasn't? And he did that, and has to have one.

'''Presenter 2:''' Ewwww.

'''Presenter 3:''' Wooooow.

:'''Chris:'''...at least once in their lifetime. I mean, we're only human.

'''Presenter 1:''' That's true.

:'''Chris:'''...nothing to be ashamed of. And...

'''Presenter 2:''' I'd like to suggest that there ''is'' something to be ashamed of if you're doing that to yourself.

'''Presenter 3:'''[''laughing'']] Yes, I agree.

'''Presenter 2:''' Perhaps that should be, there should be some shame involved.

'''Presenter 1:''' But I go back to my original question before we heard from this nutjob, is why would you put stuff like this up there on the internet? Is it a sexual turn-on to talk about this stuff or ''is he playing us''? I don't think he's playing us...

'''Presenter 3:''' I don't think he's playing us!

'''Presenter 1:''' I don't know if he's playing us and I...I don't know if it's in the tape because we did have to edit some of it belive it or not for standards and practices and whatnot, but I get the suggestion that he was being asked to do it by [[Ivy|a girl]].

'''Presenter 3:''' Well, if ''that guy's'' got a girl he should do whatever she says.

[''the others laugh'']

'''Presenter 1:''' Never get another one.

:'''Chris:''' And to [[trolls|those]] who find it amusing, uh, I respectfully disagree with their opinions.

'''Presenter 2:''' Alright.

:'''Chris:''' With that, I just want to continue to make it perfectly clear that I am a [[Chris and Health|healthy]],

'''Presenter 2:''' Mmm-hmm.

:'''Chris:''' ...[[Obesity|growing]],

'''Presenter 2:''' Right

:'''Chris:''' [[Chris Loses It|sane]],

'''Presenter 2:''' Mmm-hmm.

:'''Chris:'''..and [[Chris and Reality|sound-minded]], uh, adult individual.

'''Presenter 2:''' Yep![[''unintelligible'']]

:'''Chris:''' And I should continue to be treated and respected as an equal among the human population just as anybody else.

'''Presenter 2:''' I'm gonna say "no".

[''Presenter 3 is overcome with laughter'']

'''Presenter 1:''' How did he have time to film this video when ''Star Trek'' opened this weekend?

'''Presenter 2:''' No.

'''Presenter 1:''' And he's holding a video game controller! He's not playing a video game but he's holding it and messing with it the whole time he's talking.

'''Presenter 2 and 3:''' Wow.

'''Presenter 1:''' Like it's [[CWCville|a security blanket]] or something, helps him feel a bit better about it.

'''Voice:''' This is finally the best reason-the best, most solid justification I've heard for the Internet.

[''Presenters laugh, tape ends'']

==See Also==

[[Toucher and Rich Segment]]

[[Category: Media that has been published in real life]]

Chris and the law

2010-05-17T05:40:30Z

Exemplary:

[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules set up to help keep citizens in check. They are usually enforced by [[Jerkops|the law enforcement]] of that area and penalties are placed on those who don't follow the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of 2008, and nothing has sunken into that clown head of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Chris implying guns are the answer.]]
Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is tenuous at best. He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll threatening violence against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as threatening to murder [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page.<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</ref> He's even attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads! Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] should be enforced '''in real life.'''

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with Rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM Chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"|NOOOOOOO!]]" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the exact speed limit...while on his way to confront [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and commit assault with a deadly weapon upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In [[05142010|a recent video]], Chris states that a man deserves 20 years in prison for murdering his girlfriend, which is twice the penalty he wants for smoking. Also he believes that the archaic practice of hard labor as seen in such venues as Bugs Bunny cartoons still exists.

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkops|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off. |Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, lie to, and ''attempt to hit, with his car,'' people who are simply doing their jobs (although the tale may be exaggerated, it is nonetheless pretty damn awful). And, of course, as any rational person (i.e., anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

==Law troubles==
On 20 [[July 2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing<ref name="Criminal Searches">[http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=Wpem9DAEtHH%2fFwSXuzfStJ2LvpHgv1YXUU3kPiyr3%2fQ%3d&input=name CriminalSearches.com], which has the Virginia Administrative Office of the Courts as their source</ref> for stalking women at the mall and being a total tard, as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. After two hearings,<ref name="Criminal Searches" /><ref>[[MySpace#Lindsay]]</ref> he was not punished. Five days later, Chris followed a car too closely. This went to court on 12 September.<ref name="Criminal Searches" /> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in costs.

Chris's various run-ins at [[The Game Place]] has resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times; at least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|trespassed on the property]], though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.
{{clear}}

==Chris's Parents and Law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the Cub Scouts for an unknown event, his parents attempted to sue the Boy Scouts of America for discrimination.
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.
* When Snorlax thought she had indigestion(actually colitis), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* When Snorlax was faced with the police after she confronted Michael Snyder in 2008, she chose to harp on the fact that nobody offered her a chair. Her behavior suggested that she was planning to sue the Game Place for exercising its right to ban Chris, but the police called her bullshit.
* Chris's later recollection of the subject includes an absurd accusation that Michael Snyder had a criminal history--it is possible that Bob or Snorlax brought this up and Chris is simply parroting it.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[troll|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in [[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]] of his supposed series of Q&A videos.

On new years eve, 2009, Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already Snail-Mailed President [[Barack Obama]] on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and Reality|advertisements he doesn't want illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain". This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on Wikis.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], She interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received some well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, [[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]], decides to make peace. He went to her home and left her a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorsteps. Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure stalker logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, [[Mailbag 26#Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL|he's not legally liable]].

[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for men to ever show their bare chest (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, no matter what shape he's in). He also wants to force all women in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the Comics==
Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, dictatorial tendencies. In CWCville, Chris has banned a number of things in his city, as smoking or drinking alcohol would lead one to be either sentenced to 10 years in jail or a much more lenient $1500 USD fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law]] in June 2009. Even stranger is the the fact that the city tends to lack other races or even other sub-cultures, beyond Chris, the Sonichus and Rosechus, a handful of (white) males and females, and the few Transformers in his town, lead many to think that Chris has banned them as well. The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to. While it's pretty much fine and dandy in CWCville, they were most likely attempting to do this for across the US, which is pretty stupid to begin with.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "Date Education" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight". [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatever, giving the impression that only Chris and his Pokemon abominations are the only thing standing in between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9]] seems to reveal that there is three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force, as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law? |[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In a conversation that [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|Chris had with Jack Thaddeus]], he reveals that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks he uses as a "Police Force" and all his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon have IMMUNITY FROM PROSECUTION and are over the law. If we add all this to the fact that there're no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of a dictator running it with a hand of steel and backed with super-powered goons freed to do any atrocity with impunity. Chris also plan to use Magi-Chan to mentally scan the city perimeters for any sexual acts. If the said relation is between homosexuals or between an adult and anyone under the age of 18, the participants would be [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|"tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service"]]. This proves us that, in CWCville, the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution does not apply in matters of personal sexual choices. This might put him at odds with [[Chris and sex#Pedophilia|his own sexual ideals...]]

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10]] has shown no less than three grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the 4-cent_garbage building, the death of over 100 trolls in said destruction, breaking and entering [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]]'s house, and destroying internet files and property. Even worse, those who have wronged Chris are NOT given the chance to defend themselves, given a high-off-his-ass lawyer to Alec, Mao, Sean and Evan in their trial over the death of Simonla. When they're found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged''!

==See also==
*[[Parody]]

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and death

2010-05-17T05:39:04Z

Exemplary: /* Yeardley Love (1987-2010) */

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|right|Rest in peace?]]
'''Death''' stalks [[Chris]] at every turn, and as a result he is really poor when it comes to understanding and/or coping with death, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and his incredibly underdeveloped mind. Kids often don't understand death until they're quite old, around 10-12 years; before that, they usually just think it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a 3-year-old inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to sort of understand death; he even has a habit of appealing to dead people to "come back."<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts#A history (6:02 to 9:34)]]: "Patti, I miss you. Come home."</ref><ref>[[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]]: "Dedicated to Mr. Billy Mays II; Please Come Back Soon."</ref>

It could be that the only shows that Chris watched that dealt with death in any way had plot devices to facilitate the return of the departed. Chris, who is unable to connect cause with effect and considers behaviors from fiction to be interchangeable with reality, may simply assume that the dead can come back whenever they want.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (19XX-2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of the first of [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the Twin Towers. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. This has shocked many, including somebody who lost a loved one in the attacks<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M]</ref> and this could possibly be the lowest that Chris has ever gone.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:AZT-13/Chris-chan_Emails_Part_IV apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face] on the signature confirming the euthanasia process. As seen in the image used in this article, [[Patti-Chan|Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as an anthro]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in, in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]], in which she will only exist when he can be bothered to draw her. Effectively, he's stolen and erased her soul.

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended, yet he continues to use this example.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. Supporting this is a report that Chris periodically broke down in tears for as many as six months after her death.{{cite}} By comparison, the "death" of any [[Troll|Sweetheart]] will result in a day of mourning if they are lucky.

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this. About eight months later, Chris [[Chris's Big Night Out|became a huge hypocrite]]...

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former [[Sweetheart|heartsweet]] of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a <s>car crash</s> carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. SPOILERS: A [[troll]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the Sonichu characters mourn the loss of their professor. Sound like [[Chris|someone]]?

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|Chris, of course, reacted to this in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide.]]

===[[PandaHalo]]===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another [[sweetheart]] to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref> This flagrant disrespect shouldn't surprise anyone because Chris is a self-centered asshole. This saga ''further'' proved that Chris has no sense of empathy or respect for the dead.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her. Apparently, Chris didn't feel like he needed to honor the life of his beloved [[sweetheart]] and instead depicted her horrible, fiery death. He also has to mention that she "burned," which shows how he doesn't realize how painful and awful it would be to die in a fire. It's also not a term that anyone would use to describe the death of a loved one, providing more evidence of how little he actually cared about her. Because it took nine months to "honor" her death, he most likely decided he needed more god-awful characters for his shitty comic, was too lazy to create a new recolor and chose to use Chloe and BlazeBob, thus reminding him of PandaHalo, who he had likely forgotten, and made him decide to feature a memorial to her.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork. And then there's the issue of Sonichu 10 largely consisting of Chris murdering everybody he dislikes...

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May [[Troll|attempted suicide]] over [[Mumble_8|Mumble]]. Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out to her on a YouTube video]], with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. His reason for her to hold on? Because he'd be so sad without her. While mentioning the feelings of friends and families despair is typical in suicide prevention, Chris did it in such a selfish way, only thinking of how ''he'd'' feel, not how ''her'' family and friends would feel, that it was just full of [[fail]] and [[Chris and His Ego|narcissism]].

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also Shrove Tuesday, a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrove_Tuesday</ref> Needless to say, [[White knight#Chris cares only for himself|Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt]]. Patti was also obtained from her (see the e-mail link above).

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow, although any normal human would bring those up first and the dog would be lucky to get a mention at all.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-<s>2009</s>)===
In early 2009, Christian once seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, but cast a slight bit of doubt over the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case. He's back.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for Mays's death, and loudly denies that he was ever the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to Mays' family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that Mays was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris. He goes even further by stating that he was also his identical body double and "without the beard we'd look the same". At least he's admitting that he's overweight.

In [[Sonichu 9]], Chris slaps in a one-page intro with Billy saying that he was never was the mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon". Ninety pages later, we find out that Billy had seemed to die falling down an elevator shaft, attempting to free Ivy from HER gruesome death. The next issue, however, had him appear alive and well, trapped like [[Patti-Chan|Patti Chan]] in his own personal Hell of CWCville.

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Former [[troll|sweetheart]] Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Unless the original was somehow Ivy's favorite song, this is just short of "Another One Bites the Dust" as one of the worst possible songs one can dedicate to a recently deceased loved one. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's [[fail]].

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] of the comic. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of Slaweel and some weird faux-Transformers actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. Why he felt the need to make her death in the series gruesomely similar to her real-life suicide is a question for the ages. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for [[Patti Chan]] and [[BILLY MAYS]].

==="Mary Jo"===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss| recent mailbag]], Chris was asked by a troubled [[troll|fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.| Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another [[sweetheart|woman]] right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|Mike's obituary.]]
===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|asking]] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|for]] [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"|advice]], and then [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|begging]] for [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|help]] after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

The Mike Jackson "mini-saga" might be the most conclusive proof yet that Chris doesn't understand the consequences of his terrible advice, or the gravity of the tragedy he caused.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his [[Patti Chandler|fucking dog]]. Finally, after being faced with severe legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in [[Sonichu 10]], though not before she laid an egg with her husband Wild (though, of course, their wedding and the act of laying the egg were never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real. Not figuratively, not essentially: ''literally'' real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===Yeardley Love (1987-2010)===
Yeardly Love was a lacrosse player for UVA who was murdered. Chris uploads a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes) , but doesn't bother to even say her name. He also states that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder. Later in the video, [[Chris and His Ego|he changes the subject to him and how everyone needs to be sympathetic of him and his autism.]]

===[[Bob|Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]===
[[File:Ctrl-alt-chrischan.jpg|thumb|He remembered his PSP.]]
Coming soon... Both are well into their "Silver Years" and suffering from many heath issues, compounded by their age. It doesn't help that they're [[Tour of Chris's House|living in a landfill]]. 
As of 01 [[March 2010]], Bob is in the hospital with congestive heart failure, owing to his age, [[McDonald's|diet]] and lifestyle. In the Twitter announcing Bob's heart failure, Chris has stated that he believes his father will survive and showed more concern for the [[stress]] he was under than his own father's health. The inevitable might happen soon...

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Chris's education

2010-05-16T18:18:49Z

Exemplary: /* Gallery */

[[Image:0045-MrWade.jpg|thumb|This man put up with Christian for an extended period of time. May God have mercy on his soul.]]
[[Chris]] has spent a great deal of his '''school years''' hopping from one school to another. This is a list of the schools that he spent time in.
==Chris's education==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Time
! Level
! Institution
|-
| [[1987]]-[[1988]]
| Kindergarten
| [[Greene County Primary School]]
|-
| [[1988]]-[[1989]]
| First grade
| Greene County Primary School
|-
| [[1989]]-[[1990]]
| Second grade
| Greene County Primary School
|-
| [[1990]]-[[1991]]
| Third grade
| Greene County Primary School
|-
| [[1991]]-[[1992]]
| Fourth grade
| [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]
|-
| [[1992]]-[[1993]]
| Fifth grade
| Home-Schooling
|-
| [[1993]]-[[1994]]
| Sixth grade
| [[Providence Middle School]]
|-
| [[1994]]-[[1995]]
| Seventh grade
| Providence Middle School
|-
| [[1995]]-[[1996]]
| Eight grade
| Providence Middle School
|-
| [[1996]]-[[1997]]
| Freshman year
| [[Manchester High School]]
|-
| [[1997]]-[[1998]]
| Sophomore year
| Manchester High School
|-
| [[1998]]-[[1999]]
| Junior year
| Manchester High School
|-
| [[1999]]-[[2000]]
| Senior year
| Manchester High School
|-
| [[2000]]-[[2001]]
| First year
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
|-
| [[2001]]-[[2002]]
| Second year
| Piedmont Virginia Community College
|-
| [[2002]]-[[2003]]
| Third year
| Piedmont Virginia Community College
|-
| [[2003]]-[[2004]]
| Fourth year
| Piedmont Virginia Community College
|-
| [[2004]]-[[2005]]
| Fifth year
| Piedmont Virginia Community College
|}

==Greene County Primary School==
'''Greene County Primary School''' was the school Chris attended between first and third grade.

==James Madison University==
[[Image:JamesMadisonUni.jpeg|thumb|right|James Madison University, Shenandoah Valley]]

[[Wikipedia:James Madison University|James Madison University]] is a special education uni that Chris attended for speech therapy sessions at a young age.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

Chris carpooled there with his friend [[Joshua Martinez]].

It's the best college ever, Chris once said.

However, a recent video has shown that his arch-nemesis [[Gregg Mays]] attends this college, and therefore, Chris may think differently about it today.

==Providence Middle School==
[[Image:Providenceschool.jpg|thumb|right|Providence Middle School, Richmond]]

Chris's middle school. He had him quite sum [[gal-pal]]s there.

[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]] helped him cope.

===Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0148-ChristianInProvidenceMiddle2.jpg|Chris, 12, from his Providence Middle School years.
Image:0149-ChristianInProvidenceMiddle.jpg|Chris, presumably age 13 (striking resemblance to Chris in [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]).
Image:0227-PizzaParty.jpg|Bob [[pedofork]]ing on Chris's class during a pizza party.
Image:0228-HeyImEating.jpg|Chris eating a ''solitary'' lunch in a corner facing the wall.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg|In the background, there is a poster that shows that the school wants parents to pay their kids for good grades
</gallery>
</center>

==Nathanael Greene Elementary School==
{{main|Nathanael Greene Elementary School}}

==Manchester High School==
{{main|Manchester High School}}

==Piedmont Virginia Community College==
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College}}

==References==
<references/>

==External Links==
*[http://www.jmu.edu/ James Madison University Website]

{{Places}}

[[Category: Places]]
[[Category: Education]]

Chris and his ego

2010-05-16T18:05:27Z

Exemplary: /* Tender Misanthropy */

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}

{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}

'''Egotism''', out of all of Chris's flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the mall for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved children)]]
==Origins==
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his problems and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. His autism compounded the problem by making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The Enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]
{{quote|He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.|Proverbs 13:24}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost 30 years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems (from emotional disorders to mental retardation) live far more independently than Chris does, whether alone, alone with supervision, or in group homes.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly Tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and Money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. | Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system due to the fact that he is simply unwilling to work on anything except drawing [[Sonichu (comic)|his shitty comic]], [[Video games|playing video games]], and [[Love Quest|trying to find a girlfriend.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his worldview—sustainable.

===Blind Luck and the Cherry Picking Fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fanmail, letters-to-the-editor, internet commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to Nintendo is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved...medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from [[PVCC]] in 2006, his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic Personality Disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction.]]
It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates [[Honor roll|achievements and talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3.believes that he or she is [[Autistic|"special"]] and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4.requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5.has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially favorable treatment]] or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6.is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs of others]]

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9.shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris's ego, right down to the sense of entitlement.

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted Self-Importance===
[[Image:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
:''See also: [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]''
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before 2000.|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice observer to get lost in the sea of ''Sonichu'' shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on YouTube and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a [[personal army]].

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

===Persecution Complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he [[lie|'takes responsibility for']] are still out of his hands.

*His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]].
*He didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]].
*Or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]].

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia Page]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

It has never—and likely ''will'' never occur to him that he needs to go ''outside'', get a job, and get off the damned internet.

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions.

===Naïveté===
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. The man is like the Sith: he only deals in absolutes. Either you're with him or you're a [[troll]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu]]. The earlier trolling schemes, such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]], got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all.

In 2009 and 2010, Chris has slowly begun to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: The Pride Before the Fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] to have some sort of horror befall him.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get a recognition for his art?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane chores as horrific trials of strength and will. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as 'psychological neoteny,' which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as 'omnipotence of thought'. Basically, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that Magi-chan is yet another Mary Sue for Chris (which adds more fuel to certain theories), serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for authority. Why he felt it necessary to make another character to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing the world, is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with [[Asperchu|Alec]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (E.G. Politics, religion, etc), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds information that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he may [[I'm_Sorry,_Dude|not get laid]].

This is most obvious when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a [[Parody#Hypocrisy|parody]], but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is a parody. As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissism), buying large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself, and by some twisted form of reality make him think that his unhealthy amount of children toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when in reality any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]].

===Tender Misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the Internet) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and act as a role model for children.

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|obvious examples]] in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knights]]. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get real, psychiatric help, Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious [[monthly tugboat]] on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

==Examples of Chris's Ego in the Real World and in the Comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{clear}}
==References==
<references/>

{{Health problems}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and the law

2010-05-16T01:53:06Z

Exemplary: /* Understanding */

[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules set up to help keep citizens in check. They are usually enforced by [[Jerkops|the law enforcement]] of that area and penalties are placed on those who don't follow the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of 2008, and nothing has sunken into that clown head of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Chris implying guns are the answer.]]
Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is tenuous at best. He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll threatening violence against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as threatening to murder [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page.<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</ref> He's even attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads! Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] should be enforced '''in real life.'''

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with Rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM Chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"|NOOOOOOO!]]" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the exact speed limit...while on his way to confront [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and commit assault with a deadly weapon upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In [[05142010|a recent video]], Chris states that a man deserves 20 years in prison for murdering his girlfriend.

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkops|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off. |Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, lie to, and ''attempt to hit, with his car,'' people who are simply doing their jobs (although the tale may be exaggerated, it is nonetheless pretty damn awful). And, of course, as any rational person (i.e., anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

==Law troubles==
On 20 [[July 2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing<ref name="Criminal Searches">[http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=Wpem9DAEtHH%2fFwSXuzfStJ2LvpHgv1YXUU3kPiyr3%2fQ%3d&input=name CriminalSearches.com], which has the Virginia Administrative Office of the Courts as their source</ref> for stalking women at the mall and being a total tard, as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. After two hearings,<ref name="Criminal Searches" /><ref>[[MySpace#Lindsay]]</ref> he was not punished. Five days later, Chris followed a car too closely. This went to court on 12 September.<ref name="Criminal Searches" /> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in costs.

Chris's various run-ins at [[The Game Place]] has resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times; at least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|trespassed on the property]], though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.
{{clear}}

==Chris's Parents and Law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the Cub Scouts for an unknown event, his parents attempted to sue the Boy Scouts of America for discrimination.
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.
* When Snorlax thought she had indigestion(actually colitis), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* When Snorlax was faced with the police after she confronted Michael Snyder in 2008, she chose to harp on the fact that nobody offered her a chair. Her behavior suggested that she was planning to sue the Game Place for exercising its right to ban Chris, but the police called her bullshit.
* Chris's later recollection of the subject includes an absurd accusation that Michael Snyder had a criminal history--it is possible that Bob or Snorlax brought this up and Chris is simply parroting it.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[troll|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in [[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]] of his supposed series of Q&A videos.

On new years eve, 2009, Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already Snail-Mailed President [[Barack Obama]] on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and Reality|advertisements he doesn't want illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain". This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on Wikis.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], She interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received some well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, [[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]], decides to make peace. He went to her home and left her a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorsteps. Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure stalker logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, [[Mailbag 26#Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL|he's not legally liable]].

[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for men to ever show their bare chest (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, no matter what shape he's in). He also wants to force all women in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the Comics==
Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, dictatorial tendencies. In CWCville, Chris has banned a number of things in his city, as smoking or drinking alcohol would lead one to be either sentenced to 10 years in jail or a much more lenient $1500 USD fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law]] in June 2009. Even stranger is the the fact that the city tends to lack other races or even other sub-cultures, beyond Chris, the Sonichus and Rosechus, a handful of (white) males and females, and the few Transformers in his town, lead many to think that Chris has banned them as well. The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to. While it's pretty much fine and dandy in CWCville, they were most likely attempting to do this for across the US, which is pretty stupid to begin with.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "Date Education" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight". [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatever, giving the impression that only Chris and his Pokemon abominations are the only thing standing in between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9]] seems to reveal that there is three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force, as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law? |[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In a conversation that [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|Chris had with Jack Thaddeus]], he reveals that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks he uses as a "Police Force" and all his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon have IMMUNITY FROM PROSECUTION and are over the law. If we add all this to the fact that there're no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of a dictator running it with a hand of steel and backed with super-powered goons freed to do any atrocity with impunity. Chris also plan to use Magi-Chan to mentally scan the city perimeters for any sexual acts. If the said relation is between homosexuals or between an adult and anyone under the age of 18, the participants would be [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|"tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service"]]. This proves us that, in CWCville, the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution does not apply in matters of personal sexual choices. This might put him at odds with [[Chris and sex#Pedophilia|his own sexual ideals...]]

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10]] has shown no less than three grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the 4-cent_garbage building, the death of over 100 trolls in said destruction, breaking and entering [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]]'s house, and destroying internet files and property. Even worse, those who have wronged Chris are NOT given the chance to defend themselves, given a high-off-his-ass lawyer to Alec, Mao, Sean and Evan in their trial over the death of Simonla. When they're found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged''!

==See also==
*[[Parody]]

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and the law

2010-05-16T01:52:25Z

Exemplary: /* Understanding */

[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules set up to help keep citizens in check. They are usually enforced by [[Jerkops|the law enforcement]] of that area and penalties are placed on those who don't follow the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of 2008, and nothing has sunken into that clown head of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Chris implying guns are the answer.]]
Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is tenuous at best. He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll threatening violence against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as threatening to murder [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page.<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</ref> He's even attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads! Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] should be enforced '''in real life.'''

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with Rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM Chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"|NOOOOOOO!]]" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the exact speed limit...while on his way to confront [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and commit assault with a deadly weapon upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In [[a recent video|05142010]], Chris states that a man deserves 20 years in prison for murdering his girlfriend.

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkops|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off. |Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, lie to, and ''attempt to hit, with his car,'' people who are simply doing their jobs (although the tale may be exaggerated, it is nonetheless pretty damn awful). And, of course, as any rational person (i.e., anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

==Law troubles==
On 20 [[July 2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing<ref name="Criminal Searches">[http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=Wpem9DAEtHH%2fFwSXuzfStJ2LvpHgv1YXUU3kPiyr3%2fQ%3d&input=name CriminalSearches.com], which has the Virginia Administrative Office of the Courts as their source</ref> for stalking women at the mall and being a total tard, as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. After two hearings,<ref name="Criminal Searches" /><ref>[[MySpace#Lindsay]]</ref> he was not punished. Five days later, Chris followed a car too closely. This went to court on 12 September.<ref name="Criminal Searches" /> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in costs.

Chris's various run-ins at [[The Game Place]] has resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times; at least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|trespassed on the property]], though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.
{{clear}}

==Chris's Parents and Law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the Cub Scouts for an unknown event, his parents attempted to sue the Boy Scouts of America for discrimination.
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.
* When Snorlax thought she had indigestion(actually colitis), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* When Snorlax was faced with the police after she confronted Michael Snyder in 2008, she chose to harp on the fact that nobody offered her a chair. Her behavior suggested that she was planning to sue the Game Place for exercising its right to ban Chris, but the police called her bullshit.
* Chris's later recollection of the subject includes an absurd accusation that Michael Snyder had a criminal history--it is possible that Bob or Snorlax brought this up and Chris is simply parroting it.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[troll|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in [[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]] of his supposed series of Q&A videos.

On new years eve, 2009, Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already Snail-Mailed President [[Barack Obama]] on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and Reality|advertisements he doesn't want illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain". This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on Wikis.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], She interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received some well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, [[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]], decides to make peace. He went to her home and left her a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorsteps. Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure stalker logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, [[Mailbag 26#Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL|he's not legally liable]].

[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for men to ever show their bare chest (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, no matter what shape he's in). He also wants to force all women in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the Comics==
Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, dictatorial tendencies. In CWCville, Chris has banned a number of things in his city, as smoking or drinking alcohol would lead one to be either sentenced to 10 years in jail or a much more lenient $1500 USD fine.<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law]] in June 2009. Even stranger is the the fact that the city tends to lack other races or even other sub-cultures, beyond Chris, the Sonichus and Rosechus, a handful of (white) males and females, and the few Transformers in his town, lead many to think that Chris has banned them as well. The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to. While it's pretty much fine and dandy in CWCville, they were most likely attempting to do this for across the US, which is pretty stupid to begin with.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "Date Education" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight". [[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatever, giving the impression that only Chris and his Pokemon abominations are the only thing standing in between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9]] seems to reveal that there is three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force, as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law? |[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In a conversation that [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|Chris had with Jack Thaddeus]], he reveals that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks he uses as a "Police Force" and all his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon have IMMUNITY FROM PROSECUTION and are over the law. If we add all this to the fact that there're no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of a dictator running it with a hand of steel and backed with super-powered goons freed to do any atrocity with impunity. Chris also plan to use Magi-Chan to mentally scan the city perimeters for any sexual acts. If the said relation is between homosexuals or between an adult and anyone under the age of 18, the participants would be [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|"tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service"]]. This proves us that, in CWCville, the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution does not apply in matters of personal sexual choices. This might put him at odds with [[Chris and sex#Pedophilia|his own sexual ideals...]]

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10]] has shown no less than three grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the 4-cent_garbage building, the death of over 100 trolls in said destruction, breaking and entering [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]]'s house, and destroying internet files and property. Even worse, those who have wronged Chris are NOT given the chance to defend themselves, given a high-off-his-ass lawyer to Alec, Mao, Sean and Evan in their trial over the death of Simonla. When they're found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged''!

==See also==
*[[Parody]]

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:Chris and the law

2010-04-28T20:11:30Z

Exemplary:

==To do==
*Chris's version of justice (whatever the hell he thinks the difference between jerkops and "true justice" is)
*explanation in Chris's own words about his run-ins with the law
*real life run-ins compared to his comic run-ins
*warped sense of justice
*need to fix the police thing. Apparently, he thinks the police are alright as "blue and black are the colors of TRUE justice; all others are vice" --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:13, 15 March 2009 (CET)

*Don't forget what he'd do as ruler of the world for a day. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 06:17, 2 January 2010 (CET)

== Legal system of CWCville ==

This Krapple post does a good job at explaining what's wrong with the legal system:

{{quotebox|This trial reminds me of show trials in a dictatorship.
- The judge immediately admitted he was partial to Chris. I admit that don't know terribly much about the justice system, but to my knowledge, judges are required to be impartial. 
- The defendants were obviously supplied with sub-par judges 
- The trial for execution took all of five minutes! No court psychologist, no official procedures, nothing! 
- The plaintiff is also the sole leader of CWCville, and one of its greatest employers (soup hotels) which means that the majority of the jury has reasons to say Mao and the gang are guilty (they don't want to lose their job, they don't want to be arrested themselves by Chris,...) 
- The copyright issue got more attention than the murder, proving that it's more about Chris's petty pride than delivering justice.
- I know I already said this, but I'll say it again: The trial for an execution took five minutes. 
- "humane death? What's that? Just use them as target practice!" }}

I think we can work this in without it being too tangential, essentially we'd be pointing out that Chris's legal system lacks many very basic provisions found in most democratic legal systems, much less the Anglo-American tradition of law, namely violating impartiality. Concretely, Chris is violating the Fifth Amendment (right to [[Wikipedia:due process|due process]] which seems to include impartiality), Sixth Amendment (right to trial by jury by an IMPARTIAL jury), Eighth Amendment (freedom from cruel and unusual punishment - I believe they've ruled that hanging or electrocution is considered "cruel and unusual", so Chris's methods of torture by having the victims get revenge would definitely meet that), and that's just what I've read so far from the comic.

This discussion really should go here, though it could go in the main [[CWCville]] article but it says a lot about the legal system or maybe we can get into details of the trial in the CWCville article and maybe remark on Chris's flagrant disregard for basic legal principles here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:24, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
*There was another one that was mentioned in a later post, but it's basically said twice in that quote you posted: most, if not all, death penalty cases take years to process. Hell, from the arrest to execution took all of a ''week!'' As well, I think the person meant to say that the four were supplied with sub-par ''lawyers'', not judges - the guy Chris gave them was a crack-addled idiot whose main purpose was to just get them killed!

:In any case, I agree that all of this should go in both here as well as the [[CWCville]] article.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 15:31, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

I think this article could do with a rewrite. It's kind of disorganized compared to the other Chris and... articles.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:49, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

==Cub scouts?==
It says that chris was kicked out of cub scouts. Where did this information come from? Also, do we even know why he was kicked out? --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 20:10, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and the law

2010-04-28T20:10:50Z

Exemplary:

==To do==
*Chris's version of justice (whatever the hell he thinks the difference between jerkops and "true justice" is)
*explanation in Chris's own words about his run-ins with the law
*real life run-ins compared to his comic run-ins
*warped sense of justice
*need to fix the police thing. Apparently, he thinks the police are alright as "blue and black are the colors of TRUE justice; all others are vice" --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:13, 15 March 2009 (CET)

*Don't forget what he'd do as ruler of the world for a day. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 06:17, 2 January 2010 (CET)

== Legal system of CWCville ==

This Krapple post does a good job at explaining what's wrong with the legal system:

{{quotebox|This trial reminds me of show trials in a dictatorship.
- The judge immediately admitted he was partial to Chris. I admit that don't know terribly much about the justice system, but to my knowledge, judges are required to be impartial. 
- The defendants were obviously supplied with sub-par judges 
- The trial for execution took all of five minutes! No court psychologist, no official procedures, nothing! 
- The plaintiff is also the sole leader of CWCville, and one of its greatest employers (soup hotels) which means that the majority of the jury has reasons to say Mao and the gang are guilty (they don't want to lose their job, they don't want to be arrested themselves by Chris,...) 
- The copyright issue got more attention than the murder, proving that it's more about Chris's petty pride than delivering justice.
- I know I already said this, but I'll say it again: The trial for an execution took five minutes. 
- "humane death? What's that? Just use them as target practice!" }}

I think we can work this in without it being too tangential, essentially we'd be pointing out that Chris's legal system lacks many very basic provisions found in most democratic legal systems, much less the Anglo-American tradition of law, namely violating impartiality. Concretely, Chris is violating the Fifth Amendment (right to [[Wikipedia:due process|due process]] which seems to include impartiality), Sixth Amendment (right to trial by jury by an IMPARTIAL jury), Eighth Amendment (freedom from cruel and unusual punishment - I believe they've ruled that hanging or electrocution is considered "cruel and unusual", so Chris's methods of torture by having the victims get revenge would definitely meet that), and that's just what I've read so far from the comic.

This discussion really should go here, though it could go in the main [[CWCville]] article but it says a lot about the legal system or maybe we can get into details of the trial in the CWCville article and maybe remark on Chris's flagrant disregard for basic legal principles here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:24, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
*There was another one that was mentioned in a later post, but it's basically said twice in that quote you posted: most, if not all, death penalty cases take years to process. Hell, from the arrest to execution took all of a ''week!'' As well, I think the person meant to say that the four were supplied with sub-par ''lawyers'', not judges - the guy Chris gave them was a crack-addled idiot whose main purpose was to just get them killed!

:In any case, I agree that all of this should go in both here as well as the [[CWCville]] article.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 15:31, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

I think this article could do with a rewrite. It's kind of disorganized compared to the other Chris and... articles.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:49, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

==Cub scouts?==
IT says that chris was kicked out of cub scouts. Sauce? --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 20:10, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Homos

2010-04-25T15:20:13Z

Exemplary: /* Evidence that Chris is a homo */

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)
|Chris<ref>[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]</ref>
}}
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|'''STAY STRAIGHT!''']]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively by the pejorative term "'''homos'''". He doesn't like them very much.

From the very beginning of his internet fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been the subject of many [[lulz]] and the target of many [[trolls]].

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie. Note the kid on the left staring at Chris.]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

[[Image:What_Chris_thinks_he_looks_like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]
Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag 4]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his retarded [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stupid shit such as the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy. His attitude could be explained by one of four possibilities:

# Chris is a heterosexual idiot, so he thinks the slightest thing could turn him gay unless he maintains constant vigilance.
# Chris is a repressed homosexual, so he ''knows'' the slightest thing could turn him gay, because he can barely resist the temptation.
# Chris is bisexual, yet his underdeveloped mind fails to grasp the fact that there's actually such a thing as male bisexuality, so he thinks that people really ''can'' choose their sexual preference, and that giving in to his feelings towards other males will automatically turn him gay.
# Chris is asexual and has no primal instincts attracting him to girls, so he must consciously go out of his way to stay straight and avoid becoming a homo.

We don't yet have enough information to determine which of these is true, and we won't until he kisses a man on the lips (currently scheduled for [[2010]]). Of course we have to consider (because Chris won't) the small point that anyone, gay or straight, man or [[China|woman]], white or [[Niggo|black]], would most likely rather clean his or her genitals with sandpaper than touch Chris.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay (this, despite the fact that women are likely jealous of the fact that men don't have to worry about Chris being attracted to them). He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 02 January 2009, Chris made this statement:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in co-ed prisons with other female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|March 10]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

On 14 June 2009, he created a video called [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of Uncle Ruckus's song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from the pilot episode of ''The Boondocks.''

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]", and insisted that he likes gays who "ac—...accomplish other things, like Stephen Fry who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than LBP), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian." He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself. It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but god forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call gay a synonym for stupid.

In the mailbag section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). Chris intended to bring at least two syringes of the solution back, one for [[Reldnahc]], and the other for emergencies (likely to be used on either himself, [[Magi-Chan]], or [[Megagi]]). Thanks to Chris's crippling insecurity about his sexuality, when this storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

Spoiler: because Chris is straight as a circle (as shown [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|here]]), the vaccine would fail to work anyway.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCkipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's Audiobooks, BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris, <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links WikiSysop User Talk: The New Ad-Links ]</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, 2009, the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year 2010, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that ''[[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|Avatar]]'' was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts — in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On January 5th, Chris responded a [[mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When founded evidence of homosexuality in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily. It is worth noticing that, like Chris, good chaps like Hitler and Mussolini had a similar approach when addressing the homosexual lifestyle. Chris also apparently fails to notice that by having Magi-chan constantly reading people's mind would infringe the most important and basic of human rights: the right of freedom of thinking. He also fails to realize that having Magi-chan scan CWCville for gay thoughts would end in Chris getting arrested due to the fact that he says he has random images of penises appear in his head.

Then, on January 7th, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, 2003 just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos stems from him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban of homosexuals in the American Armed Forces. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]".
{{clear}}

==Evidence that Chris is a homo==
[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]
[[Image:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|thumb|Chris, this really ain't helping ya out...]]
[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.

*Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat", including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7]]</ref>

*Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9]]</ref>

* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as a gift.

* Chris gets upset that people know he has the vibrator and anal beads, and he gets upset that people think he's gay because he kept the vibrator and anal beads... but he never gets upset that the store sent him the vibrator and anal beads in the first place. You would think that if a troll sent him a dildo he'd be throwing a fit about it on [[YouTube]], but no.

* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.

* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then [[Lie|immediately denies it's been up his butt]]. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."

* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood. 'Nuff said.

* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|guzzle a lot of cum]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own semen]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.

* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.

* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.

* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|February 05 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.

* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.

* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].

* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].

* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.

* Chris says he is the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|King of All Cosmos]], with the Cosmo being the pink drink originating from San Francisco associated with ''Sex and the City'', and gay men everywhere. Additionally, the namesake Katamari character not only vomits rainbows as a mode of transportation, but wears open-chested shirts and colorful tights that show off his Liefeld-esque MASSIVE AREA.

* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.

* [[Axe]], frequently used by gay men, is Chris's grooming product of choice.

*He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is a song with large gay following.

* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the Backstreet Boys, one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song and one cover of a Ricky Martin song. This music was popular among 13 year old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.

* Chris sure talks a lot about things "out his ass," such as "lying out [his] ass" when saying "''[[BILLY MAYS]] IS THE NEW MAYOR OF CWCVILLE.''"

* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]]

* He implores men to wear [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|muscle bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On braziers|Mailbag 55]]</ref> <ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag 55]]</ref>, possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.

* He saved a [[No More Jokes|homoerotic image]] to his computer, and then made a series of movies about it.

* When you look up "'''Homosexuality'''" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).

* In addition, the article for Homosexuality was created August 8th, 2009. The article for [[Rosechu|Rosechu]], a major character in his comics, wouldn't be created until 6 months later.

* In the [[PS3 History Level|PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of ''Sex and the City: The Movie'' (which has a huge gay following) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.

* While narrating the [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] Chris called PandaHalo his "partner," a term sometimes used by gays and lesbians to refer to the person they're dating.

* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves tossing them into a garbage bin inside him, lest the gay gene take its toll.

* Chris reacts to Alec Benson Leary's [[Asperchu]] comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.

* In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!‎]], Chris wore a kilt, apparently in honor of St. Patrick's Day, because [[Fail|there's no better way of celebrating the patron saint of Ireland than wearing traditional Scottish garb]]. When threatening [[Surfshack Tito]], he kicked high up in the air, clearly showing us his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|briefs]]. (Could've been worse, [[April 16 Fetish Vids|a LOT worse.]])

* In a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|recent video]], Chris was wearing a shirt with the text "[[Chris and sex|mount me and do me]]" on it.

{{clear}}

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off his temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five minutes for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.
{{clear}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

*''"I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"''<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>

*''"I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>

*''"I'm straight, don't doubt me!"'''<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>

*''"Listen, as hard as you fucking can, [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|I CAME OUT OF MY]] AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."'''<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>

*''"Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>

*''"Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>

*''"And look at me. Do I look like-- [shakes head in disagreement] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC(Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-Chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Talk:For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV

2010-04-22T23:12:11Z

Exemplary:

So... where's the video?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:48, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
*It's the video of the now. I'm no good with the new fangled video template, so you guys can sort it out. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:49, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I see it an OH I AM SO FUCKING '''TRANSCRIBING DIS BITCH!!!'''--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:50, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:A few things we need to do from what I can tell.
::1. <s>Put up a fucking warning label on this bitch (came damn close to vomiting)</s>
::2. <s>Add the new shirt to Chris and Fashion</s> --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 05:03, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
*Completely agreed about the warning. This is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a long time (and I just finished EVA two days ago).--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 05:28, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:* Done. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 05:46, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
==Transcribing==

I will assist Beat with transcribing, if he needs my help. Other projects will have to wait. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:05, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:First half done. My first watchthrough is the one I transcribe on, something tells me this won't end well.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:19, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::* That's what I do too. It helps I think, but it also means you get rude surprises. Like the cyber in Mumble 3. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:34, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::WHAT THE FUCK SHIT DAMN I HATE YOU ALL--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:22, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:::* Oh my God. I don't know if I want to know now, if it can shake the almighty Beat. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:34, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*Ron you transcribed the Mumbles so you can probably take this. However, I wouldn't push yourself if your heart level is below 40% --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 05:36, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::::*Beat- EJECT! EJECT! EJECT! -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:38, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:::::* IT IS DONE. That could have been a lot worse.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:40, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::::::* You deserve a fucking medal for that one, man. --[[User:HatMcCullough|HatMcCullough]] 05:43, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Admittedly I skimmed over the details of his tongue movements. If somebody wants to provide a more in-depth explanation, I suggest you seek counseling immediately.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:44, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::::::::*Beat, you are THE MAN! Yes, you deserve a bloody medal. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:58, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::::::::*Sometimes I am annoyed I never get to transcribe anything new because of my timezone. Sometimes I am very, very glad. Still, I'll touch it up tonight, no matter what the tiny whisper that was my sanity begs me to avoid. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 06:05, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::::::::*Ronichu's work ethic never ceases to amaze. I only wish He did not have to suffer so much for it.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:11, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::* Truly a god among men. I take my hat off to you.--[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 08:57, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

== Problem with brackets? ==

When I edited this article, the brackets were removed from two words (such as [[glasses]] or [[CWCki]]) during both of the edits. The hell? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 15:31, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
:* CWCki was mentioned, but not bracketed, in the intro at the time. I couldn't find a logical explanation for the glasses bracket, though. Either the Wiki glitched or it was ninjas. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 19:08, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::* I think it might've been ninjas. The sneaky bastards. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 19:28, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

== Date ==

Da Update states this video was leaked on the 21st, this article states the 22nd. The CWCVilleLibrary account has the upload date as the 21st. I r confuse. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:43, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

==No shit is too minor ==

We need to identify what his ringtone is. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 23:12, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Sylvana

2010-04-15T01:07:03Z

Exemplary:

Wait, someone fill me in on her motivation. I mean, she doesn't have a vendetta or any real reason to fuck with them mutants in CWCville. She doesn't need the Sonichu Balls, right? Why rape Blake?

-[[User:Jump|Jump]] 17:34, 3 July 2009 (CEST)

* This is Chris-chan we're talking about. He'll use any excuse to vilify anyone who wrongs him, really. As the page states, though, she probably represents the trolls who pretend they're girls. And I'm guessing he chose Blake because, well, he was the first evil Sonichu-thing and, well... he needs to be punished.

Or I could be thinking things over too much.

-[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 12:50 July 3 2009 (EDT)

So, essentially, we have a canonical villain who just does things for the lulz? I cant decide whether to laugh or cry. [[User:Jump|Jump]] 00:42, 7 July 2009 (CEST)

"communicating with her through telekinesis"
Chris, that's telepathy. Tele-empathy. Empathy at range. Telekinesis, energy-at-range, is manipulation of objects or forces without physical contact, e.g. traditional move-object telekinesis. Unless he meant communing with her by, say, arranging rocks into Morse code or using a burnt-down redwood as a gigantic charcoal stick to write messages legible from the moon. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 18:46, 10 October 2009 (CEST)

== A thought... ==

Does anyone else wonder if Chris might have based Silvana on the concept of the Pokemon, Mawile? After all, it is the Deciever Pokemon that supposedly uses its docile appearance to fuck around with people. He could've simply combined this with the fact that several trolls throughout the years have been pretending to be women in order to screw arround with the ignorant fuck. What do you think? -[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 17:56, 25 October 2009 (CEST)
*This [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Mawile_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 thing]? I suppose it isn't out of the realm of possibility... Though everything just seems to be a Rosechu or Sonichu with some extra tidbit... like being a dickgirl or raised by plants. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:57, 25 October 2009 (CET)
*Wasn't the whole point to base her on the trolls who pretended to be women? That was the whole thing behind the sex scene where Silviana pretended to be Bubbles and had sex with Black Sonichu. I don't really think it's much broader than that. But, then, it's not beyond Chris to have to rip a couple of things off to make a flat character. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 00:32, 26 October 2009 (CET)
**I suppose. But then again, we'll never know what little thought goes on in his mind... -[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]
*** Chris isn't that witty. She'd have a huge fake mouth if she were based on it. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:34, 26 October 2009 (CET)
****Good point. But then again, it was only an idea. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]

== Silvana has the most personality out of all of the Rosechus ==

Think about it, she runs around being evil while the others shop and make their forced boyfriends look STRAIGHT. Also, she gets more characterization on magi-chan's cwckipedia page. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 01:07, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T00:47:52Z

Exemplary:

Well I tried to transcribe the audio. I got 30 seconds down...yeah I'm a lazy fuck. - SEGA Hikaru

Unless someone gets it done sooner, I'll transcribe this in about 8 hours when I get home. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:37, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
: I can get it done presently. BITCH?! [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:39, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
:: Okay, that's transcribed and tagged up. Michael Snyder fucking rules. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:10, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

== Embracing his racism? ==

So, this year alone we have Chris calling Tito a nigger, and now yells "JEW" at someone IN PUBLIC. Has he finally accepted that he is a racist fuck? How much longer until he comes out as a homo? --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 00:12, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

::*inb4 "nawt a forum!", but he does compare him to the trolls, so he might be under the assumption he can use racial slurs against trolls and troll-like individuals and not be called out as racist.--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 00:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:::* that's a good observation there, Chris seems to think, that it's ok to call racial slur to trolls and people who have done "wrong" to him, and still be the good guy. Chris clearly as usual, didn't thought much before placing this video up on youtube before uploading it.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 00:40, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Wallflower-esque?==

I notice that we've added the personal information Chris posted, and I was wondering if we should treat things like the phone number with as much sensitivity as was done in the case of the Wallflower. I understand that he hasn't requested it's removal, but still. Your call. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:17, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
: Like I say, that's not Snyder's personal info, it's the address and number of the Game Place (which is in the yellow pages and on the store's website anyhow). That said, Chris may be committing some crime or another by trying to incite people to harass him. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I think in this case the address and phone number posted are of the GAMe PLACe and not his personal home? I could be wrong though, if it is his personal info (how the fuck did Chris get that?) then yeah, my vote would be to remove it --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 00:21, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Down==

SHIT. Video got pulled. Anyone got a copy for the CWCVille Library?? --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*Damn, I had just gone back to his channel to get it down, but I was too slow. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

how much time was this video up anyway? i doubt anyone managed to make a copy of it, the CWCki should make a guide to download Chris's videos, so we have more people keeping back up.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 00:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I brought the page up at around 6-7 PM EDT. It went down at about 8:15 that same time. 2-3 hours. That's how fast the video went up and down. Yes, I think for the sake of preserving, a video needs to have a copy of it made if something causes it to go down.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

I still have the page open for his video. Is there anyway I can save it from here?[[User:Nimnoms|Nimnoms]] 00:29, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* You could save the page (If you're using Windows, go to File -> Save Page As, or press CTRL+S)? I don't think you'd be able to rip the video that way, but I think it might still play. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 00:46, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

And now apparently it's back up. Go figure. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC

I have it, if any of you guys need it. [[User:SwoopDaWoop|SwoopDaWoop]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

The Library hasn't uploaded it yet, so I did. [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OTWXKSZB Here's] a download of it too. (It's MegaUpload, sorry.) --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 00:32, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==The Sugar Ray song==

Made me fucking lol. I don't know why.--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 00:33, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Illegal or not?==

So it appears to me we could have a legal situation on our hands. We need to figure this out. If we do we may have to delete the video although transcriptions might be safe. According to my research though, as long as you are part of the conversation yourself it is perfectly legal to record it. Only thing that he could be busted for is taping the phone call Snyder has. I am not sure. [[User:Ephemeral|Ephemeral]] 00:37, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Chris thinks its 2009==

In the intro, he says he was banned almost a year ago in 2008. This means he thinks it is 2009. Or maybe he can't tell time... --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 00:47, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Rosechu

2010-04-07T00:03:53Z

Exemplary:

[[Image:Rosechu_Original.jpg|thumb|120px|Rosechu]]

''This article is about Chris's eponymous female [[fail]] OC. For the general species of female fail OCs, see [[Rosechu (species)]]''

'''Rosechu''' (pronounced "rose'chu" in canon;<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Rosechu Rosechu's CWCipedia Page]</ref> Ro'se'chu in the [[Audiobooks]]) is the second electric hedgehog Pokemon created by [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christian]], and the girlfriend of [[Sonichu]]. As the primary female character in the Sonichu universe, she represents Chris's ideal woman. Rosechu's interests include kissing Sonichu, shopping, gossiping, sucking Sonichu's cock, posting nude photos of herself to the internet to uphold her reputation, and stripping for [[Women's rights]]. Chris will occasionally have Rosechu refer to him as "father" (or more likely "papa"), just like Sonichu, implying the two are caught up in an [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|incestuous affair]].

Rosechu is extremely defensive about rumors that she has a [[pickles|penis]].

==Development==

{{quote|Pink electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original cutie. She is Sonichu’s girlfriend. Even though she can’t run as fast as Sonichu, she still can zap up some power when in danger.|Rosechu's background, [http://sonichuandrosechu.com/SchusNews2.htm Sonichu's News Dash #2]}}

Christian's primary interests are [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Pokémon]], and scoring [[pickle|pussy]]. Having first created Sonichu, he would inevitably have to turn to fashioning a girlfriend for his creation, based predominantly on [[Amy Rose]], with minor elements from [[Raichu]] added. Whereas the Sonic/Amy relationship is deliberately one-sided to create some drama and comedy, Christian prides himself on the fact that Sonichu and Rosechu have absolutely no sexual tension or any complications in their romance at all.

Intentionally or not, the entire Sonichu/Rosechu relationship serves as Christian's model for how he presumes he will interact with his eventual sweetheart. Sonichu's attraction to Rosechu is based entirely on a single wayward glance. He makes no effort to win her affection, and indeed he does not need to as Rosechu falls for him simply because he exists. They are rarely out of one another's sight, and all of their time together is spent kissing, snuggling or screwing. Christian does not depict Rosechu as an unequal partner in the relationship, but since she has almost no purpose or existence outside of her association with Sonichu, the character essentially becomes an [[Fapcup|object]] for Sonichu to periodically [[Semen|come]] inside.

As [[trolls]] discovered Chris's weak spot for fan art of Rosechu with a penis, Christian responded with increasing attempts to prove Rosechu's femininity, drawing her less like the cartoonish Amy Rose and with greater attention to her breasts, hips, legs, panties and cameltoe. This drive to assert Rosechu's sexuality, along with Chris's inevitable sexual attraction to his own character, probably contributed to Rosechu's increasing prominence in the comics. [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is almost entirely about her, to the point of Rosechu demonstrating powers far superior to her boyfriend.

Recently, Chris had developed a biography page for Rosechu and revealed that he had created her on December 22, over nine months after creating Sonichu. Nowhere on there is there any mention of him using Amy Rose as a base.

==Early Life==

In the [[CWCipedia]] article for Rosechu, Chris gives a rambling, pointless backstory for Rosechu. According to Chris, Rosechu was raised by her parents: a female Raichu and a male Luxray. The Luxray hunts and does other manly things, while the Raichu stays home and [[Women's Rights|cooks dinner]]. Chris gives the small group a family dynamic similar to that of humans, though such a setup is rare and, perhaps even ridiculous in the Pokémon franchise. While still a Pichu, she was captured by a trainer (Chris even says which Pokémon the trainer uses and what attack it performs in order to capture her, as if anyone gave a shit), traumatizing her greatly with the separation from her family (though unlike [[Wild Sonichu]], she doesn't even express any kind of minimal regret at the loss of her only loved ones later in life).

The Pichu was taken in by Professor Oak, a character from the first generation Pokemon games, and given to [[Kel|Kellie Felix]] as a consolation for not having arrived in time to receive one of the traditional starters. This plot point is stolen directly from the Pokemon anime, which started the same way.

More bullshit happens that no one cares about, mostly dealing with Kel gathering a full team of Pokemon. Oddly, every one of her Pokémon have names ("David," "Ashley", etc.) but the Pichu is not given one. The Pichu that would become Rosechu evolves into a Pikachu at one point, and at level 50 Kel uses a Thunder Stone to force it to evolve into a Raichu.

==Sexism==

{{quote|She is not just a sex object; she is an individual with her own feelings, aspirations and opinions.|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#The incredible vanishing email|explaining how he sees Rosechu as a sex object]]}}

Since Chris knows virtually nothing about actual women, he has no frame of reference for Rosechu's characterization, beyond qualities that make her a perfect mate in his eyes. Beyond her relationship with Sonichu and her defiance of [[4-cent_garbage.com]], Chris can only have Rosechu do stereotypical female activities. She enjoys "shopping" for no other reason than Chris having deemed this as a compulsory feminine quality, as well as having long "girly chats" that can last for hours — as seen with her interaction with Amy Rose. Despite all of the shopping she does, she always wears the same outfit in public (when she isn't making porn for women's rights).

Her only other hobbies seem to include lounging in fields of flowers, and getting kidnapped and constantly needing her man Sonichu to save her.

Also worth noting is that, unlike Sonichu, Rosechu didn't fall in love at first glance. According to the CWCipedia, Rosechu only fell in love with Sonichu right after he asked her to get him something to eat. Subtle.

==Transgenderism==
[[Image:TheTailofRosechu.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's edited "proof" of Rosechu's sex.]]
[[Image:TheREALTailofRosechu.jpg|thumb|right|But, as always, it's all a lie.]]On 12 January 2010, Chris received [[Mailbag 39#Rosechu the transwoman|a letter from a fan]] complimenting his portrayal of Rosechu as a transwoman. The Raichu which would become Rosechu had a defined pointy tip on its tail, which, as of the fourth generation of the ''Pokémon'' video game series, is characteristic of the male of the species (whereas the females have a flattened tail tip). Rather than explaining that he had created the character before this sexual characteristic existed in the game art, Chris's reaction was to freak out in capslock and in [[12 January 2010#Part 2|a video uploaded later that night]].

Chris received [[Mailbag 42#It was just a girl that had all the physical characteristics of a boy|two]] [[Mailbag 44#On Rosechu's man-parts|more]] letters about Rosechu's originally male nature before freaking out. He threw together a collage, declaring that it proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that Rosechu was a girl. Unfortunately for Chris, one of these images has Rosechu so far off in the distance that it's impossible to see anything, and the other one has the most important part of her tail off-frame.

In [[Mailbag 45]], one mailer pointed out the real page unedited. It showed that not only did Chris erase the tips in his collage, he hid the third and final panel of the Raichu because her tail there was out in the open, obviously unflattened. Chris promptly deleted the letter.

Whether the Raichu in question had a pointed tail (male), or a dented tail (female), it's all pointless seeing that Rosechu's tail is that of a male's. At no point has Chris tried to defend himself by pointing out that gender differences between Pokémon didn't exist until well after [[Sonichu 0]] was published.

When Chris created the Rosechu biography page, he mentions that Rosechu had a blunt tail as a Raichu (despite the earlier pictures) and that it became pointed because of her transformation.

==Marriage==
[[Image:AfterTheHoneyMoon.jpg|thumb|right|Rosechu's marriage with Sonichu hasn't been as idyllic as she always imagined...]]
Rosechu married Sonichu in a top secret ceremony at Samuel Memorial United Christian Church on March 17, 2006.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref> Despite living and sleeping together openly, the two lovebirds saw fit to keep their union out of the spotlight by wearing their rings under their gloves. Rosechu quickly set to work fulfilling her sole creator-given biological function (aside from designated sperm-dumpster) as a [[Sonee & Rosey]] factory. As of 2009 the couple have [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three hidden children]], abandoned to their put-upon yet attractive [[Heather Iglesias|Hispanic lesbian nanny]], presumably so the grown-ups can continue their important day-jobs of appearing to not be married with children in Chris's comics.

Rosechu "volunteered on her own sound decision to have her tubes tied,"<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#4-Cent_Garbage CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref> which Chris seems to believe is a reversible procedure (it is generally permanent; reversal attempts have varying levels of success). Rosechu does this despite the fact that it would presumably be easier for Sonichu to get a vasectomy and much easier for Sonichu just to wear a damn condom, as both characters have espoused in fake PSAs within the comic. The fact that being sterilized is Rosechu's responsibility rather than her husband's illustrates Chris's self-centered views on masculinity, responsibility, and the woman's role in a marriage.

==Religion==

She appears to hold [[Chris and religion|Christian beliefs]], reminding Sonichu that instead of [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|using violence]] or [[CWC is Angry|getting angry]] with his foes, he should remember the story of Joseph and "forgive".

Rosechu quickly forgets this lesson, attacking workers in a building only minutes later for daring to imply that she might not be a female. Not very forgiving yourself Rosechu, are we?

She also commits attempted murder shortly afterward, savagely assaulting [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] not only for the crime of creating a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|satire website]] about her creator - but for throwing a pickle at her. At this point, Joseph's story of Forgiveness goes straight out the window. Proving her [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] yet again, Rosechu transforms into [[The Incredible Lioness]], face-rapes Jason and tears his scalp open before electrocuting his head, leaving him convulsing in a pool of blood.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_8/Page_46 Sonichu 8]</ref>

==Campaigner==
Despite the sexism evident, Rosechu is a long-term campaigner for [[Women's rights]].

Rosechu has also been known to complain about the "dumb" child pornography laws,<ref>[[Sonichu 7]]</ref> voicing Chris' not-so-subtle wish that they be overturned so [[pedofork|he can do fifteen year olds]].

Rosechu, the perfect role model for Chris-Chan's young female audience.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:229-ACRchu.jpg
Image:230-ACRchuBck.jpg
Image:234-RchuCard1.jpg
Image:235-RchuCard2.jpg
Image:236-RchuCard3.jpg
Image:237-YuRosechu.jpg
Image:239-RchuWink.jpg
Image:241-DolledRchu.jpg
Image:242-RosechuStyle.jpg
Image:512-RosechuAtPacSun.JPG|Originally believed to be [[DJ Jamsta]], it turns out this is Rosechu.
Image:A_pickle.jpg|NOT PHOTOSHOPPED!
Image:238-RosechuPose.jpg
Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|[[The Incredible Lioness|Rosechu's final form]], campaigning for [[women's rights]] with facerape.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also:==
{{Fan art}}
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[The Incredible Lioness]]
*[[Rosechu (species)]]
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[CWCville#Zapbud|Zapbud]], a flower Rosechu lieks.
*[[Pickle]], a vegetable Rosechu is [[Silvana|implied to have]].
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-04-05T09:36:43Z

Exemplary: /* "They set me on fire!" — Slander */

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|right|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of [[The Simpsons]].]]
{{quote|I am a man who stands strong and true and by the main woman in his life.|[[Chris]], on remaining faithful to [[Ivy]]<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I love you|Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], 35 minutes later<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===
In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 27-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s, he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Then he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school in a scandalously revealing outfit. At age 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from creating terrible comics and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|right|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren play Pokémon with little kids all the time. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played cards.

Much like acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her the richest woman in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him [[Chris and Copyright|a dime]]). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===
While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets money and/or sympathy from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "blacks" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "that's another story."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic, even though they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===
It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]], and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to the face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===
Chris is resolute in his beliefs that homos are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage."

In the world of Sonichu, the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own semen, and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.'''<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works — legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "[[parody|parodic]]," but doesn't like creations that he has labeled "parodies" either.

Since ''LittleBigPlanet'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels — [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over (nonexistent) unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[eBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===
In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and Robbie Sonee describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===

It is evident to the readers of Sonichu that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolated incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but is not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]], issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]], and trying to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic, where he shot him in the shins for no apparent reason. When the girlfriend, scared for her and her boyfriend's safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Issue_C/Page_29 business end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===
A big example of Chris's hypocrisy is the ridiculously high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders in regards to hypocrisy are;:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|Government Welfare]] yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|overweight]] lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. That's right, serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10]]. This sequence was incredibly hypocritical, as he sentenced them to death and killed them '''as he listed off all the ways in which he wronged them.'''

==="Don't be a moof or aloof" — Mature content===
{{Quote|I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross|Chris, on [[22 January 2010]].}}
Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris is railing heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and thinks that realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> Yet, at the same time, he thought the ''Saw'' movie series was good, ''despite'' the gruesome deaths featured therein. Even if this is not outright hypocrisy, it's still clear that there's something very ''odd'' going on in here; it's clear that he's enjoyed some mature-rated works, but he's still clinging to teen-rated games at best — there's huge amounts of cognitive dissonance at work here.

Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[Pandahalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Remember, this is a comic for kids!]]
Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric Chair and firing squad respectively. While these are both highly controversial means of inflicting capital punishment, they both exist in the real world as ways to accomplish something as terrible as ending a human life as quickly as possible, and in that way they are arguably humane.

By contrast, there is nothing humane or even reasonable about the deaths of Evan and Mao. Evan is shackled to a wall, and mutilated for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently stabbed to death by Wild and Sandy. This outright torture included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, screaming in agony, Chris telekinetically blasted a hole in his left shoulder, from which he bled out.

All of the violence in the final pages of Sonichu 10 is particularly egregious when compared to what the ''offenders'' came up with. While Asperchu and [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] feature violence and gore, it's all clearly over the top and meant to be humorous. Chris's depiction of violence comes across as dead serious, and he seems to hate the offenders with the fury of a thousand suns. Also of note is that most of the violent acts in Asperchu are committed by villains, like Metal Asperchu and [[Silvana]]. In Sonichu, these executions were carried out by the ''heroes'', including a [[Bill the Scientist|doctor]], a [[Sandy Rosechu|little girl]], and the [[Chris|mayor]].

Chris not only has difficulties understanding mature content when it comes to violence, but also sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu_is_a_Horrendous_Joke|he'll put tiny stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag_47#Mellow_out.2C_it.27s_just_furry_porn|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. Yet when it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris takes great pains to censor swear words and scold others for using them. Sonichu 10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime. He'll even censor vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap." However, none of this is being done for the children. Chris loves pornography and dislikes when other people swear (note that he swears all the damn time), so that's how his comic is going to be presented.

==="Nobody Needs the Internet!" — Leaving the Internet Forever===

On the afternoon of Sunday March 21st, Chris announced he was [[03212010_C-Ya_Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokemon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of Monday, March 22nd — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''The Cleveland Show'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is vague, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist.

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all Sonic the Hedgehog games regardless of quality, and wear and display Pokémon merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed Sonic and Pokémon when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-04-05T08:11:00Z

Exemplary:

Talk:Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-04-05T07:43:51Z

Exemplary:

==To do==
This needs a bit more work, such as including his references to Nintendo Power (like how he got his first Pokemon card from Nintendo Power), his hand drawn Nintendo Power, his other correspondence with Nintendo Power, and I think there's a slideshow pic where he shows off his envelope that he was going to send to Nintendo (from what I recall, people would decorate the envelopes with Nintendo characters and they would generally publish the best ones in the Reader's Letter section).

Right now, it's more or less a direct copy paste of the [[Sprung]] article and that really shouldn't be the case. There should be a brief description of the article, with a link to it, and the same for Chris's other correspondences. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:35, 21 June 2009 (CEST)

Got some work done, but still more to go. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:19, 30 June 2009 (CEST)

==Updates==

Copied transcript for the Animal Crossing documentary and Sprung Article from their pages. I'll add the pics of home-made nintendo power later. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 07:31, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-04-05T07:42:38Z

Exemplary:

'''''Nintendo Power''''' is a video game-oriented magazine that has given [[Sonichu]] and [[Chris]] a substantial amount of press coverage.

No. Seriously.

==The magazine==
''Nintendo Power'' is a magazine devoted to promoting [[Nintendo]]'s video games, consoles, and so on and so forth, as well as providing cheat codes, strategy guides, sneak peeks at upcoming releases, and anything else one might want to know about Nintendo products, provided one doesn't mind getting it directly from a corporate shill. Chris, being in part a Nintendo fanboy, has had a subscription since the dawn of time.

Even though dozens of fans are featured in every issue in some form (fan art, fan mail, etc.), Chris firmly believes making into the magazine is an honor of the highest degree, and that the people over at the magazine actually remember who he is from the five minutes of fame he had years ago. He also appears to believe that being featured in the magazine is a one way ticket to getting a job with Nintendo.

==The hand-drawn magazine==

Chris maintained constant mail contact with the magazine. One of his letters was about a dream he had where Sega made a [[Sonic]] game for the Game Boy. Chris then [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|freaking hand-drew his own issue of Nintendo Power]]. With pencils, marker, and printed-out, cut-and-pasted text, detailing how Sonic arbitrarily transferred to Nintendo consoles to release a trio of Sonic games. That are direct copies of existing Mario games. It's every bit as pathetic as it sounds. Notably, it's Chris's first major attempt at [[Sonichu (comic)|slavishly recreating a commercial product by hand]], as well as the first appearance of [[Bionic]] the Hedgehog.

==The ''Sprung'' letter==
[[Image:393-CWCSprung.jpg|thumb|Now if only the women weren't afraid of him...]]
Chris has had better luck with Nintendo correspondence as the years went by. Most infamous was his letter to Nintendo about how ''[[Sprung]]'', a pseudo-dating-sim for the DS, helped him get over his fear of girls with boyfriends. For about five minutes. Yes, once again, exactly as pathetic as it sounds.
===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''DS Equals Dating Service'''

I recently purchased a Nintendo DS and a copy of Sprung. I originally bought the game, because I needed some lessons on what to say to, or do for, a girl. To make a long story short, I developed a fear that all the pretty girls are already paired up with a boyfriend. I’ve dubbed this social phobia, Noviophobia, after the Spanish word for boyfriend. Anyway, before Sprung, I was afraid to approach most women (FYI, I’m 22-years old). I tried to silently attract a boyfriend-free girl, mostly with signs, for over one year and four months. Then Sprung provided me with general things to say and do, so I felt more confident. When I tried my new-found expressions from the dating simulator, I forgot my fear of the infinitely high boyfriend factor, and I met a couple of lady friends with whom I feel more comfortable. So thank you, Nintendo and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed.

Christian C.

Via the Internet}}

==The Animal Crossing documentary==

Chris also got some airplay in Nintendo Power for his jaw-dropping [[Animal Crossing Documentary|video about his daily life in ''Animal Crossing'']]. ''Nintendo Power'' heaped praise upon the terrible little Let's Play, focusing more on Chris's character Sonichu (gee, what a surprise) and his in-game accomplishments than the lonesome manchild behind the mask or why he was called Sonichu. Nonetheless, Chris took this as a great stride forward in his quest to achieve video game superstardom without having to exert any effort or develop any kind of skill. Pathetic? Yes, you've picked up on the pattern.
[[Image:389-CWCSchuCross.jpg|thumb|Yay!]]
===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

''(Image captions:)''

Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.

He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.

And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.

Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:390-NPVol179.jpg|Scrapbook image
Image:394-NPVol190.jpg|Scrapbook image
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]
*''[[Sprung]]''

[[Category:Video Games]]

Talk:Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-04-05T07:32:40Z

Exemplary:

==To do==
This needs a bit more work, such as including his references to Nintendo Power (like how he got his first Pokemon card from Nintendo Power), his hand drawn Nintendo Power, his other correspondence with Nintendo Power, and I think there's a slideshow pic where he shows off his envelope that he was going to send to Nintendo (from what I recall, people would decorate the envelopes with Nintendo characters and they would generally publish the best ones in the Reader's Letter section).

Right now, it's more or less a direct copy paste of the [[Sprung]] article and that really shouldn't be the case. There should be a brief description of the article, with a link to it, and the same for Chris's other correspondences. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:35, 21 June 2009 (CEST)

Got some work done, but still more to go. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:19, 30 June 2009 (CEST)

==Updates==

Copied transcript for the Animal Crossing documentary from its page. I'll add pics of home-made nintendo power and transcript of Sprung article later. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 07:31, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-04-05T07:31:40Z

Exemplary:

==To do==
This needs a bit more work, such as including his references to Nintendo Power (like how he got his first Pokemon card from Nintendo Power), his hand drawn Nintendo Power, his other correspondence with Nintendo Power, and I think there's a slideshow pic where he shows off his envelope that he was going to send to Nintendo (from what I recall, people would decorate the envelopes with Nintendo characters and they would generally publish the best ones in the Reader's Letter section).

Right now, it's more or less a direct copy paste of the [[Sprung]] article and that really shouldn't be the case. There should be a brief description of the article, with a link to it, and the same for Chris's other correspondences. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:35, 21 June 2009 (CEST)

Got some work done, but still more to go. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:19, 30 June 2009 (CEST)

Copied transcript for the Animal Crossing documentary from its page. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 07:31, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-04-05T07:31:08Z

Exemplary:

==To do==
This needs a bit more work, such as including his references to Nintendo Power (like how he got his first Pokemon card from Nintendo Power), his hand drawn Nintendo Power, his other correspondence with Nintendo Power, and I think there's a slideshow pic where he shows off his envelope that he was going to send to Nintendo (from what I recall, people would decorate the envelopes with Nintendo characters and they would generally publish the best ones in the Reader's Letter section).

Right now, it's more or less a direct copy paste of the [[Sprung]] article and that really shouldn't be the case. There should be a brief description of the article, with a link to it, and the same for Chris's other correspondences. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:35, 21 June 2009 (CEST)

Got some work done, but still more to go. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:19, 30 June 2009 (CEST)

<s>Stole</s> Added a transcript for the Animal Crossing documentary. --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 07:31, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Nintendo Power Magazine

2010-04-05T07:29:09Z

Exemplary: /* The documentary */

[[Image:389-CWCSchuCross.jpg|thumb|Yay!]]

'''''Nintendo Power''''' is a video game-oriented magazine that has given [[Sonichu]] and [[Chris]] a substantial amount of press coverage.

No. Seriously.

==The magazine==
''Nintendo Power'' is a magazine devoted to promoting [[Nintendo]]'s video games, consoles, and so on and so forth, as well as providing cheat codes, strategy guides, sneak peeks at upcoming releases, and anything else one might want to know about Nintendo products, provided one doesn't mind getting it directly from a corporate shill. Chris, being in part a Nintendo fanboy, has had a subscription since the dawn of time.

Even though dozens of fans are featured in every issue in some form (fan art, fan mail, etc.), Chris firmly believes making into the magazine is an honor of the highest degree, and that the people over at the magazine actually remember who he is from the five minutes of fame he had years ago. He also appears to believe that being featured in the magazine is a one way ticket to getting a job with Nintendo.

==The hand-drawn magazine==

Chris maintained constant mail contact with the magazine. One of his letters was about a dream he had where Sega made a [[Sonic]] game for the Game Boy. Chris then [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|freaking hand-drew his own issue of Nintendo Power]]. With pencils, marker, and printed-out, cut-and-pasted text, detailing how Sonic arbitrarily transferred to Nintendo consoles to release a trio of Sonic games. That are direct copies of existing Mario games. It's every bit as pathetic as it sounds. Notably, it's Chris's first major attempt at [[Sonichu (comic)|slavishly recreating a commercial product by hand]], as well as the first appearance of [[Bionic]] the Hedgehog.

==The ''Sprung'' letter==

Chris has had better luck with Nintendo correspondence as the years went by. Most infamous was his letter to Nintendo about how ''[[Sprung]]'', a pseudo-dating-sim for the DS, helped him get over his fear of girls with boyfriends. For about five minutes. Yes, once again, exactly as pathetic as it sounds.

==The Animal Crossing documentary==

Chris also got some airplay in Nintendo Power for his jaw-dropping [[Animal Crossing Documentary|video about his daily life in ''Animal Crossing'']]. ''Nintendo Power'' heaped praise upon the terrible little Let's Play, focusing more on Chris's character Sonichu (gee, what a surprise) and his in-game accomplishments than the lonesome manchild behind the mask or why he was called Sonichu. Nonetheless, Chris took this as a great stride forward in his quest to achieve video game superstardom without having to exert any effort or develop any kind of skill. Pathetic? Yes, you've picked up on the pattern.
===Transcript===

{{quotenews|'''Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary'''

Simply amazing. There’s no other way to describe what we received from Sonichu of Cwcville—a full video documentary that walked us through his daily life. His opulent manor contained every manner of furniture. Cwcville’s landscape was filled to the bursting point with all the animals who’d moved to his well-tended town. And Sonichu has customized everything about his town—even many villagers have followed his bold trends, wearing the patterns he has created!

''(Image captions:)''

Sonichu has packed the museum with his fads—its bug collection is hopping.

He often visits Sonichu Island to bring its high-value coconuts to town.

And he uses the spare hut on the island to store his huge collection of oddities.

Cwcville is brimming with Sonichu’s patterns, including the popular Poké Ball.}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:390-NPVol179.jpg|Scrapbook image
Image:393-CWCSprung.jpg
Image:394-NPVol190.jpg|Scrapbook image
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]
*''[[Sprung]]''

[[Category:Video Games]]

Talk:"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!

2010-04-04T14:08:48Z

Exemplary:

I'll transcribe this I guess. BITCH? [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:17, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:Everybody knows that BITCHES need transcribing.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:21, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Damian==
Is he talking about the wallflower? [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 19:20, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:Yes. "Damian Antaria" was a pseudonym of some sort, hence the speech marks in the vid title. [[User:Xentrilus|Xentrilus]] 19:24, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:: I know it was a pseudonym, just asking to be sure about the gal pal being wallflower. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 19:31, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::Chris is just too stupid to resist dropping the dox of other people on the internet. Of course, it's futile to tell him how bad dropping dox is, since he refuses to listen to anyone other than himself. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:33, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Someone needs to explain to me in very simple terms how can we keep on censoring Chris. I mean, he's INSISTING on dropping WallFlower's name and aliases all over the place. There's little that we can do. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:48, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* Maybe when the CWCVille Library mirrors these videos involving the Walliflower, we can ask them to censor her name and upload those videos here instead to keep our promise of censorship for her sake. --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 04:13, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* If the poor gal could keep him on a leash we wouldn't have this problem. Sadly, if she contacted him again, even just to say "for fuck's sake stop splattering my name all over YouTube," he'd probably just think that meant she still wanted him after all... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:53, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Bloody stalker. That's it, I am out of here; I need a beer! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* Okay, we're overthinking this. Let's keep her name in the videos and the transcripts and continue as usual. If she complains, we tell her to take it up with Chris--we're just documenting what he says and he insists on dropping her name. We may also need to remind her that the names "Heather" and "Damian Antaria" are not directly linked to one another and the article discussing her connection to Chris has been edited for anonymity.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:17, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

I googled Damian Antaria and it it led me to a page on fanfiction.net of a girl whose username is Damian-Antaria (real name Antaria Wilson, approximately 24 years old): if she's the girl Chris' talking about then I guess he's going for girls who like yaoi, going against his homophobia.--[[User:OverTheRainbow|OverTheRainbow]]
:Chris probably has no clue that she writes yaoi fanfiction. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:52, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
::Turns out he does, but he'll overlook that for china --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 03:52, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

==Chris is getting desperate for china==
Soon he'll probably just upload a video demanding china.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 3:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:I'll lol hard if he does that. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:52, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* Yeah I would, but seeing as this is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] we're talking about it seems like he probably will either just claim he got laid even if he didn't or go mad saying that the sex with Lovely Weather actually did happen.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 19:53, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* How fucking awful is it when, even when not talking to Chris, we use the phrase "china" instead of pussy, and nobody cares?[[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:44, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
** It's a clear sign that we're all on this website too much. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 10:47, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
*** How can the manchild have such a TRUE and LOYAL trollbase? This is wrong. I hate myself.-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 21:58, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Fun Fact==

Chris posted his threats to Surf Shack Tito around 3 am his time, and this video around 3 pm his time. He's wearing a different shirt, suggesting that he woke up around 2 in the afternoon, depending on how long it takes Chris to put on a different bra and shirt. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:05, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Isn't it possible that he woke up earlier and got dressed? Then again, if he's up at 3 in the morning making death threats to second rate Nickelodeon cartoon characters, does it matter?[[User:WarOfTheBees|WarOfTheBees]] 23:00, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

When does he talk about women loving men who beg? I don't see that anywhere. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:54, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* Chris doesn't; that's just an observation by the editor because Chris keeps saying please -- [[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 02:03, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Actually - he hints at something like this at one point by disagreeing that men are the magnets. --[[User:Wtv|Wtv]] 12:41, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==I think the transcripts off==

When he says "I mean, you aren't even ready for a boyfriend! You told me so yourself, multiple times! It's better that for a little while", it looks to me like he's saying "I respected that for awhile". It makes more sense to me because he's clearly implying he's a better match for her, thus bringing up his whole "I'm a gentleman" thing he often does when china is involved, and because "It's better that for a little while" doesn't make any sense.--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 21:43, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* Good catch. It was hard to tell what he was saying, the way he slurs that part. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 21:46, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Fan Video==

What? What is this? Why is it on my CWCki? I'm missing the joke here... --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:34, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

Toughdog thinks he's funny. --[[User:KingTaco|KingTaco]] 16:50, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

Right. I thought it was curiously unfunny. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:50, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

Completely agreed. --[[User:KingTaco|KingTaco]] 16:52, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

== Video needs to be re uploaded==

Chris finally realized how pathetic the video makes him look and removed it so please link to the chronicles. {{User: Shawths|Shawths}}

==Paused Video on the TV in the background==

Lets discuss the significance of this here --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 14:08, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!

2010-04-04T14:08:23Z

Exemplary:

Pedofork

2010-04-04T08:45:06Z

Exemplary: /* Evidence of Chris's pedofork tendencies */

{{quote|I am not a Pedofork, YOU DORKS!!!|Christian Weston Chandler}}

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|120px|Chris's role-model]]

A '''pedofork''' ''(pronounced "PED-oh-fork"),'' a portmanteau for "pedophile" and "dork", is [[Chris]]'s term for a pedophile (''paedophile'' to non-Americans), child molester, or anyone else with some sort of sexual interest in the underage.

This term was initially coined in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|Madman Rising]] video in response to [[trolls]] comparing Chris to "that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''," known to the rest of the world as "[[Wikipedia:List of characters in Family Guy#Herbert|Herbert the Pervert]]."

Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls and an early step towards becoming a LOLcow.

==Evidence of Chris's pedofork tendencies==
{{Quote|It's okay where it [the legal age of consent] is, but yeah, if changable [sic], Sweet 16; another good reason it would be a "Sweet" age.|Chris, not even trying to be subtle, from [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]]}}
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|No unsavory implications here.]]

While he's not an outright baby-fucker pedophile, Chris does seem to subscribe to the notion that "if there's grass on the field, play ball." On a number of occasions, he's suggested that if he were given the opportunity, he'd be willing to date and have sex with young women who are below the legal age of consent.

*The first example from Sonichu is found when Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] have a graphic furry yiff-fest in one of the early comics. The decision to draw such a horrific creation is doubly creepy; on the one hand Sonichu and Rosechu were just recently hatched, meaning they were well under the age of consent at the time the sexual intercourse was depicted by Chris (he later justifies it by saying Sonichu and Rosechu were hatched over the age of 18). On the other, Chris is drawing a comic about ''Sonic the friggin' Hedgehog characters'', i.e, a comic probably aimed toward an audience of children. '''He drew graphic sex in a comic whose audience is primarily children.''' And it's not just an isolated incident - some form of graphic sex occurs in nearly every episode of ''Sonichu''. Not to mention that Rosechu is blatantly copied from [[Amy Rose]], who is canonically ''twelve years old''.

*Exhibit B of Chris's pedofork tendencies comes in the form of a character in the Sonichu world known as [[Zapina]]. In an attempt to show that he ''wasn't'' a pedophile, Chris, hilariously, revealed that he thinks of child protective laws as "dumb". What happens in the drawing is all of the [[Rosechus]] are "stripping for women's rights" and the "14 years cute" Zapina wants to strip too. Rosechu takes young Zapina aside and informs her that because of "those dumb laws", she must not... not to worry, though, as Chris lets Zapina view all of the stripping action, and they use her ass as a spotlight for the whole terrifying ordeal (because Zapina is some sort of lightning bug or something). It's also interesting to note that Zapina, despite being 14, is still drawn with cleavage and is even wearing a tube top.

*He named a character [[Lolisa Rosechu]], which sounds an awful lot like "Lolita". The odds are pretty good that he's never read Nabokov, and he probably doesn't even understand the meaning of the generic term, but the coincidence remains disturbing, unless you're not a [[slow-in-the-mind]] and realize she is the oldest [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]

*In [[Mailbag 3]], a [[troll|fan]] emailed him asking if he would lower the legal age of consent, and if so, what he would lower it to. He answered with 16. Although the age of consent ''is'' 16 in many US States, the current legal age in Virginia is 18. He then made a terrible pun that suggested he wants to sleep with 16-year-old girls.

*In [[Mailbag 54]], Chris discussed his fondness for ''Gunslinger Girl'' and ''Shuffle'', two anime series noted for their pedophilic appeal.

*In the [[Sonichu 11|comic version]] of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], one of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu's daughters]] says "I'm the Virgin Mary. That's my story and I'm sticking to it." When this joke first appeared on ''Family Guy'' 10 years ago it was said by an adult woman. In the comic, Sonichu's daughters have just entered elementary school.

*In a series of [[Facebook messages#Christina Katherine Trevillian|messages]] on Facebook, it was revealed that, even after learning his target was underage, Chris continued to pursue her.

*Chris repeatedly insists that showing graphic sexual content to children is not only acceptable, it is normal, healthy and educational. To wit, it's okay to have sexually explicit content in a children's comic or let your kindergartners watch TV shows loaded with sex and adult humor. Chris also thinks small children would be interested in sex, enough to seek out adult content on their own, such as watching softcore porn on Cinemax late at night.

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]]
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|Chris's first use of the term pedofork]]
*[[Pedo-glasses]]

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P29.htm The disturbing Zapina page]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNANhlZiMJE Chris-Chan is a Pedophile (REMIX)]

{{stub}}

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User talk:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T05:19:28Z

Exemplary:

{{welcome|Champthom}}--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:32, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck the welcome template, Chris doesn't even deserve one. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:47, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
*Don't fucking remove things from other people's user page. Chris is a CWCki user and he deserves a god damn welcome. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:28, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

We haven't banned this faggot have we? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

The great Clyde Cash has told us not to ban him. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:52, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck you Chris. Go back to your leeches and your potions! P.S.: How's [[Bob Chandler|your father]] doing? [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]

Chris it is time to come out of your closet you homo. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 02:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Glad we haven't banned him yet. BTW could we add some templates from ED to "improve" his page? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Herro hero! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:27, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to the CWCki, fucknugget!-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 02:58, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hi Chris. Nice job with your threat of vandalizing three pages before playing your PS3. Good job. No one ban him. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris, how's it hanging? never mind, you'll never read this, too busy playing the PStriple, you know if you just sold that thing you'd be able to update the comic more. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 01:10, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

[[Fan:Issue 10.5|Issue 10.5]] coming soon to the CWCki! :D --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

'Ey Chris, I have a game I would recommend to you. Dante's Inferno. Play through the whole thing and pay VERY Close attention to the plot. -CWCville Sanitation

God does not look well on those who worship false gods like Thor. Your going to hell sodomite. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Enjoy your stay Chris. It isn't going to be long now that you've proven to be an even bigger bigot than we thought you were. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:51, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

hey Chris, huge fan here. Just a heads-up: some people and I are writing a biography about you. --[[User:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]] 02:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris, give us your Pokemon friend code so we can all beat you at your favorite game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:08, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, you autistic waste of space! It's me, one of the guys who vandalized your wiki. Did you see the page I created with the giant, hard-to-ignore piece of gay Pokeporn? That was great. And now you've come and made your half-assed vandalism. Seriously, we all know you spend the American public's money on things to play and shove up your ass. And to top it off, you confirm that you are quite proud of your Rule 34. Do you actually think that anybody besides you and a monkey with Down's Syndrome considers that to be sexy? Also, [[Reginald Sneasel]] is GAYYYYYYY!!! DO NOT MISLABEL HIM AS STRAIGHT!!! Finally, please stop wasting all of your time with your [[PS3]] and update your fucking comic as soon as your (by your, I mean the Sysop's) site is fixed. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 02:25, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Eya there Chrissyboo, I had the opportunity to kick your fat ass last week. I was literally 30 minutes away from the Charlottesville area with my buddies. You're damn lucky I didn't, but then again, you would've had a legitimate thing to sue me over. Even if I did end up being sued by Chris-chan, I would still fail less than you do, Chris. That's how much you fail. If I ever drive to DC again, be prepared. Word of advice: Use your monthly tugboat to invest in an actual gym membership. Hell, my girlfriend alone can do over 60 push-ups easily (Not being sexist or anything), which is DOUBLE your failed goal last year. Be afraid, Chris, be VERY afraid. --[[User:Therealgodbear|Therealgodbear]] 02:54, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris. How's it going? I gotta say man, I'm a little disappointed in your vandalism attempts. I mean, how hard is blanking pages, really?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hi Chris. Nice job with your threat of vandalizing three pages before playing your PS3. Good job. No one ban him. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris, how's it hanging? never mind, you'll never read this, too busy playing the PStriple, you know if you just sold that thing you'd be able to update the comic more. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 01:10, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

[[Fan:Issue 10.5|Issue 10.5]] coming soon to the CWCki! :D --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

'Ey Chris, I have a game I would recommend to you. Dante's Inferno. Play through the whole thing and pay VERY Close attention to the plot. -CWCville Sanitation

God does not look well on those who worship false gods like Thor. Your going to hell sodomite. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Enjoy your stay Chris. It isn't going to be long now that you've proven to be an even bigger bigot than we thought you were. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:51, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

hey Chris, huge fan here. Just a heads-up: some people and I are writing a biography about you. --[[User:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]] 02:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris, give us your Pokemon friend code so we can all beat you at your favorite game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:08, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, you autistic waste of space! It's me, one of the guys who vandalized your wiki. Did you see the page I created with the giant, hard-to-ignore piece of gay Pokeporn? That was great. And now you've come and made your half-assed vandalism. Seriously, we all know you spend the American public's money on things to play and shove up your ass. And to top it off, you confirm that you are quite proud of your Rule 34. Do you actually think that anybody besides you and a monkey with Down's Syndrome considers that to be sexy? Also, [[Reginald Sneasel]] is GAYYYYYYY!!! DO NOT MISLABEL HIM AS STRAIGHT!!! Finally, please stop wasting all of your time with your [[PS3]] and update your fucking comic as soon as your (by your, I mean the Sysop's) site is fixed. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 02:25, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Eya there Chrissyboo, I had the opportunity to kick your fat ass last week. I was literally 30 minutes away from the Charlottesville area with my buddies. You're damn lucky I didn't, but then again, you would've had a legitimate thing to sue me over. Even if I did end up being sued by Chris-chan, I would still fail less than you do, Chris. That's how much you fail. If I ever drive to DC again, be prepared. Word of advice: Use your monthly tugboat to invest in an actual gym membership. Hell, my girlfriend alone can do over 60 push-ups easily (Not being sexist or anything), which is DOUBLE your failed goal last year. Be afraid, Chris, be VERY afraid. --[[User:Therealgodbear|Therealgodbear]] 02:54, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris. How's it going? I gotta say man, I'm a little disappointed in your vandalism attempts. I mean, how hard is blanking pages, really?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hey Chris, hows it going. I too violated your CWCipedia. The part about your mothers phone number, pedophillia, and sucking nigger cocks were particularly lulzy. Anyways, just wanted to say I hate you, you suck at life, and go suck those nigger cocks you love so much, and rape those children. Anyways, love your fail attempts at editing the CWCki. Keep trying you worthless faggot, just wasting more of your time.

Peace, and have a good day retard!--[[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

You put more effort into making a threat than you do delivering on it. It's like you don't care that we mock you! Can you do anything right? You can't hold a job, you scare away every girl you see, you can't put effort into anything - Your life has no meaning to find!--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:35, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

What stunning and magnificent revenge, Chris. This was a clearly well thought out and well implemented movement, we never knew what hit us.--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 03:41, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chrissy. I'm a huge [[troll|fan]]. How's your [[The Wallflower|girlfriend]] doing? Welcome to the CWCki and please continue to enjoy your [[virgin with rage|virginity]]!!!
--[[User:Ano de freshman|Ano de freshman]] 03:42, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

You beefed it.--[[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 04:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, Chris. Remember me? I went by the name of Thermidor went I vandalized your CWCipedia. Out of all the years of my life and of all the wicked and twisted people that I've encountered, none of them could ever match up to you. You are so disgusting, so vile, and so irredeemably evil, that you make Old King look like Mahatma Gandhi. Are these video game references flying over your tiny, closed-minded brain? They probably do, because judging by your PSN activity, you don't play any games that take actual effort in order to beat. I've seen your gameplay footage, and I can see that your skills are utterly pathetic. You can't even coordinate your jumps in Little Big Planet! I know of elementary school kids who have better gaming skills than you! Your life has no value, and this world would be far better off without you. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:42, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris can we be friends [[User:Evang|Evang]] 04:50, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh! I almost forgot! I am also the original person who started the whole "Ian Brandon Anderson" name! Yes! I worked with Liquid, it's true. I am dead...fucking....serious! How does it feel Chris to finally meet the one who started it all? The name you hate, and detest so much? Nothing puts a smile on my face more than knowing that name drives you insane. Come on Chris, I just admitted it, what are you gonna do? wave more pocket knives at the camera?

Later Ian.--[[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

Chris, why didn't you try to get rid of the articles on your past sweethearts and your parents? I thought that was why you were mad at the CWCki? --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 05:19, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

JERKS

2010-03-30T10:36:24Z

Exemplary: /* Chris as the embodiment of JERK */

[[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|thumb|right|Chris even divides his trading card game monsters into JERKS and females.]]
'''JERK''' is [[Chris's]] term for men in general, including those who are not [[homos]] or [[jerkops]]. The canonical definition is "a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male [[MySpace]] friends as a JERK in his personal list. A few "respectable males" are apparently exempt from JERK status, such as [[George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama]] (and possibly [[Congrats, Jack Black|Jack Black]]).

One reason is the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].

==Use as a denominator==
Although he has defined the term "jerk" to mean all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any person who gets in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants [[china]] and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, that significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], but [[Adam Stackhouse]] got in the way, therefore he is a jerk — allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.

Even being more talented than Chris, or more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris) is enough to make one a jerk in Chris's eyes. Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris, they only did what well-adjusted people do and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend (again, the PaRappa showdown). In Chris's [[Ego|self-centred]] way of thinking, though, they were all out to get him.

==Use as a prefix/suffix==
Chris derides certain professions by using "jerk" as a prefix (as with [[jerkop]]) or a suffix (as with [[manajerk]]). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from [[Attraction_sign|soliciting members of the public for sex]]. They have obstructed his quest for [[china]] and so are jerks. Due to repeated encounters with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.

==Varying usage==
Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that '''all''' men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. [[Robert Simmons V]] was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. [[Joseph Herring]] was considered a high-school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly zit-scarred freak in his comic). Chris considered [[Joshua Martinez]] a friend (though he still tried to get [[ED]] to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, [[Megan]]'s brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|video games]]. Once again, however, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.

Given that Chris doesn't rigidly adhere to his original definition of the word, we can reach one of two conclusions:

1. Chris does not necessarily regard all men as jerks.

2. Chris still considers them jerks, but will play along for selfish reasons until they can no longer help him.

Based on what we know, most of us are betting on the latter.

==Connection to behavior==
Wiktionary defines a [[wiktionary:jerk|jerk]] as '''A [[Chris|person]] with [[lies|unlikable]] or [[Honest Content|obnoxious]] qualities and behavior, typically [[Chris and Anger|mean]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-centered]] or disagreeable, and often not very [[Honor roll|intelligent.]]'''

In the cases of people Chris has labeled a jerk, this is often very far from the truth. People Chris has labeled in this way have been known for all manner of redeemable qualities such as [[Bagget|heroism]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|having a good sense of responsibility]] to the people under their care and being [[Adam Stackhouse|uniquely talented]]. Indeed, simply having a girlfriend hardly seems a good reason to be labeled a jerk. Then again, Chris is not well-known for acknowledging the accomplishments of those other than himself.

==Chris as the embodiment of JERK==
Ironically, or perhaps better put, hypocritically, Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term jerk than most people he applies it to.
===Unlikable or Obnoxious Qualities and Behavior===
The fact that he receives a [[monthly tugboat]] for nothing while [[Chris_and_money#But_wait.2C_Chris_isn.27t_employed.21|feeling he deserves it]] has been a major sticking point for all CWC-watchers. Having a [[Speech_Impediment|whiny]] voice and [[Chris_and_English|a terrible command of English]] while touting himself as [[Honor roll|talented and well educated]] are a major cause of further irritation. Also, the fact that he feels deserving of so many things while [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|doing so little to achieve them]] make most scream in agony at the levels of obnoxious.

===Mean===
Chris [[I'LL_BREAK_YOU_DEAD|repeatedly]] [[YouTube Finale|makes]] [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!|threats]] [[CHRIS!!!_CHANDLER!!!|and]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|has]] [[Sign_Destruction_Video|outbursts]] [[NO_D***_WAY%2C_IMPOSTOR!!!|of]] [[Chris and anger|anger]].

===Self-Centered===
Any man who makes his own [[CWCville|universe]] where he rules as a god is probably not the most considerate of others.

Also, [[Ryan_Cash|this]], [[PANDAHALO#Death|this]] and [[Chris_and_religion#Chris_the_Shaman|especially this]].

===Disagreeable===
The fact that Chris can't stop hating on [[Homo|homos]], has a very [[Chris_and_sex|skewed opinion on women]], [[Chris_and_religion|selectively adapts the bible]] to fit his own beliefs and just generally shows no common sense regarding any topic makes him highly disagreeable to almost anyone of any opinion. This may also now disqualify Bush from exemption from the rule, as Bush has previously stated his strong support for the abstinence of young women, something against which Chris is very, very firmly set.

===Often not very Intelligent===
[[List of Chris's sweethearts|More]] [[fail|like]] [[Honor roll|all]] [[Attraction Sign|of]] [[trolls|the]] [[CWC-isms|time.]]

==The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate==
{{Incomplete}}

The most recent version of T.L.O.M.C.D.H. was provided in [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris's annotations to his ED article]]. There it goes as follows:
# [[Chris]] himself;
# [[Bob Chandler|his father]];
# "[[Santa Clause]]" [sic];
# [[Jesus]];
# [[God]];
# [[Barack Obama|the President of the United States]];
# [[Molvania|all the World Leaders]];
# ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present.

By thoroughly analyzing this information, we can conclude that:
* ... he still believes in "Santa Clause";
* ... he values "Santa Clause" much better that [[God]] or [[Jesus]], since he put him before them in this list;
* ... he thinks God has a clearly-defined gender and is male;
* ... he thinks God and Jesus are separate beings;
* ... he hates all the (male) Saints (except St. Nicholas of Myra of course), Apostles, Martyrs, Angels (if he believes them to have a gender), priests, monks, etc. etc.;
* ... he doesn't hate only the current holder of the U.S. Presidential seat. He probably hates [[Bush]] again now that [[Obama]] is President;
* ... he hates all the other male persons in the U.S. Government, starting with the V.P.;
* ... he thinks of, e.g., Kim Jong Il and Robert Mugabe much better than of most of the male population of Earth;
* ... if Chris had lived in the 30-40s, he wouldn't hate Hitler (but would hate the Allied troops who fought him);
* ... he probably assumes "all the World Leaders" are male;
* ... he doesn't hate some IRL [[Trolls]] like [[Mimms]] or [[Joshua Martinez]], as they were his friends/acquaintances in the past;
* ... he still hates most of the male population of Earth, including most honorable and heroic people.

However, in the same [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|annotations]] Chris confusingly states that his [[Noviophobia]] is "Out-Of-Date," and that he only hates [[Trolls]] and da haytahs now. Then again, he states at the same time that he is "cool" with the "hating 99% of the world's men" theory. In any case, The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate is at least applicable to ''some'' point in Chris's biography, even if he [[Lies|"got over it"]] by now;

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2010-03-30T10:29:32Z

Exemplary: /* Sonichu 8 */

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], [[Chris]] has portrayed himself as more than a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work. Within the comic universe, '''Chris''' is the mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and beloved by all ''despite'' failing almost as much as in real-life.

Despite the sub-episodes ostensibly featuring Real Chris, he can't seem to keep from evoking superpowers and plot contrivances.

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis of the character]]

Chris depicts himself as mayor of his fictional town [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, Comic Chris is popular, good-looking, and surrounded by women (in reality, [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]] who also hate him.) He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use all the powers of the Electric Hedgehog [[Pokemon]] at will (thus rendering Sonichu and company completely irrelevant).

Comic Chris is noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] aren't handicaps, they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]]. He even has a job as mayor of CWCville, and a [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work,]] which she takes with a smile.

In other words, comic Chris is who real Chris really wants to be.

It should be noted that [[Sammy]] is actually a more accurate depiction of Chris in the comic.

===[[Sonichu 0]]===

Being the narcissistic tool he is, Chris felt it reasonable to add himself into his own comic. Right from ''[[Sonichu 0]]'' Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, not only is Chris drawing himself semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu 0'' is one of the rare issues actually based around Sonichu.

===[[Sonichu 1]]===

''Sonichu 1'' is Chris's lowest key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own drawing ability.

===[[Sonichu 2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu 2'' Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Going insane with his own self-absorption, Chris depicts himself as the fulfillment of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient_leader_of_the_Cherokee_Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].

===[[Sonichu 3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a backseat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the electric hedgehog Pokemon depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]]. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokemon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had in real life (for [[china|obvious]] reasons).

===[[Sonichu 5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who wants what's best for her and allows her to get married. In reality Sarah couldn't care less what Chris thought about her marriage, which renders his acceptance of the wedding null and void. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], who makes her debut appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also debuts the pseudo-manga look (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize the comic over the next few years.

By the next episode, things start getting confused. Yes, Chris is mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all Virginians from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who wish to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6]]===

''Sonichu 6'' is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to manage running a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction Location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making veiled hints that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]].

===[[Sonichu 7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in ''Sonichu 7'']]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and Sammy together]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most Manga-centric issue to date, as well as the most inconsistent when it comes to Chris's depictions of himself, as he manages to draw himself differently in every frame.

This issue is also notable because it introduces [[Sammy]], a younger version of Comic Chris who is a lot more similar to Real Chris, in that he watches TV on [[Ghostbusters|"ghost command"]], is [[Obesity|massively overweight]], and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]].

Halfway through making the comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[Time Void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action.

===[[Sonichu 8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[The Oversized Drinking Straw|over-sized drinking straw ]] picture, while Rosechu and Sonichu cheer on him in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterwards.

===[[Sonichu 9]]===
Chris doesn't appear until the very end of issue 9. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the Time Void and end up pulling Chris out of the void. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as Chris-Chan Sonichu, unveils some sort of plan (which is never mentioned) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in "Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Adventures"

===[[Sonichu 10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and quickly places himself in the middle of the spotlight. Whatever small narrative restrains the character had before are now completely gone, and he works more as a wish fulfilling Gary Stu than ever. Even worse, Comic Chris has inherited the same exact personality as his real-life counterpart. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]].

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood since they could use it as vaccine. Chris however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving 100 people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by Naitsirhc, but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water supplies in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

Meg Griffin suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of Sonichu, much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really Silvana in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris feels the need to apologize without really apologizing, this time to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed what almost equals to a genocide on them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, who have now been transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], he sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]].

After this, Hobo Chan challenges Mary Lee Walsh and curve stomps her, leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a life-time in CWCville's maximum security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furore. After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a starts giving a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessing and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by tearing him apart with his psychic powers.

And so the issue ends with Chris by urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in his name, for great is his wisdom and his benevolence.

==See also:==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris-Chan_(fanart)|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homo]] side
*[[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2010-03-30T10:28:20Z

Exemplary: /* Sonichu 7 */

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], [[Chris]] has portrayed himself as more than a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work. Within the comic universe, '''Chris''' is the mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and beloved by all ''despite'' failing almost as much as in real-life.

Despite the sub-episodes ostensibly featuring Real Chris, he can't seem to keep from evoking superpowers and plot contrivances.

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis of the character]]

Chris depicts himself as mayor of his fictional town [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, Comic Chris is popular, good-looking, and surrounded by women (in reality, [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]] who also hate him.) He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use all the powers of the Electric Hedgehog [[Pokemon]] at will (thus rendering Sonichu and company completely irrelevant).

Comic Chris is noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] aren't handicaps, they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]]. He even has a job as mayor of CWCville, and a [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work,]] which she takes with a smile.

In other words, comic Chris is who real Chris really wants to be.

It should be noted that [[Sammy]] is actually a more accurate depiction of Chris in the comic.

===[[Sonichu 0]]===

Being the narcissistic tool he is, Chris felt it reasonable to add himself into his own comic. Right from ''[[Sonichu 0]]'' Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, not only is Chris drawing himself semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu 0'' is one of the rare issues actually based around Sonichu.

===[[Sonichu 1]]===

''Sonichu 1'' is Chris's lowest key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own drawing ability.

===[[Sonichu 2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu 2'' Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Going insane with his own self-absorption, Chris depicts himself as the fulfillment of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient_leader_of_the_Cherokee_Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].

===[[Sonichu 3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a backseat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the electric hedgehog Pokemon depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]]. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokemon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had in real life (for [[china|obvious]] reasons).

===[[Sonichu 5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who wants what's best for her and allows her to get married. In reality Sarah couldn't care less what Chris thought about her marriage, which renders his acceptance of the wedding null and void. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], who makes her debut appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also debuts the pseudo-manga look (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize the comic over the next few years.

By the next episode, things start getting confused. Yes, Chris is mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all Virginians from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who wish to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6]]===

''Sonichu 6'' is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to manage running a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction Location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making veiled hints that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]].

===[[Sonichu 7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in ''Sonichu 7'']]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and Sammy together]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most Manga-centric issue to date, as well as the most inconsistent when it comes to Chris's depictions of himself, as he manages to draw himself differently in every frame.

This issue is also notable because it introduces [[Sammy]], a younger version of Comic Chris who is a lot more similar to Real Chris, in that he watches TV on [[Ghostbusters|"ghost command"]], is [[Obesity|massively overweight]], and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]].

Halfway through making the comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[Time Void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action.

===[[Sonichu 8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] picture, while Rosechu and Sonichu cheer on him in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterwards.

===[[Sonichu 9]]===
Chris doesn't appear until the very end of issue 9. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the Time Void and end up pulling Chris out of the void. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as Chris-Chan Sonichu, unveils some sort of plan (which is never mentioned) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in "Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Adventures"

===[[Sonichu 10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and quickly places himself in the middle of the spotlight. Whatever small narrative restrains the character had before are now completely gone, and he works more as a wish fulfilling Gary Stu than ever. Even worse, Comic Chris has inherited the same exact personality as his real-life counterpart. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]].

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood since they could use it as vaccine. Chris however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving 100 people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by Naitsirhc, but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water supplies in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

Meg Griffin suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of Sonichu, much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really Silvana in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris feels the need to apologize without really apologizing, this time to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed what almost equals to a genocide on them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, who have now been transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], he sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]].

After this, Hobo Chan challenges Mary Lee Walsh and curve stomps her, leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a life-time in CWCville's maximum security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furore. After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a starts giving a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessing and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by tearing him apart with his psychic powers.

And so the issue ends with Chris by urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in his name, for great is his wisdom and his benevolence.

==See also:==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris-Chan_(fanart)|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homo]] side
*[[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2010-03-30T10:26:19Z

Exemplary: /* In the comic */

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], [[Chris]] has portrayed himself as more than a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work. Within the comic universe, '''Chris''' is the mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and beloved by all ''despite'' failing almost as much as in real-life.

Despite the sub-episodes ostensibly featuring Real Chris, he can't seem to keep from evoking superpowers and plot contrivances.

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis of the character]]

Chris depicts himself as mayor of his fictional town [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, Comic Chris is popular, good-looking, and surrounded by women (in reality, [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]] who also hate him.) He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use all the powers of the Electric Hedgehog [[Pokemon]] at will (thus rendering Sonichu and company completely irrelevant).

Comic Chris is noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] aren't handicaps, they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]]. He even has a job as mayor of CWCville, and a [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work,]] which she takes with a smile.

In other words, comic Chris is who real Chris really wants to be.

It should be noted that [[Sammy]] is actually a more accurate depiction of Chris in the comic.

===[[Sonichu 0]]===

Being the narcissistic tool he is, Chris felt it reasonable to add himself into his own comic. Right from ''[[Sonichu 0]]'' Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, not only is Chris drawing himself semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu 0'' is one of the rare issues actually based around Sonichu.

===[[Sonichu 1]]===

''Sonichu 1'' is Chris's lowest key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own drawing ability.

===[[Sonichu 2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu 2'' Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Going insane with his own self-absorption, Chris depicts himself as the fulfillment of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient_leader_of_the_Cherokee_Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].

===[[Sonichu 3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a backseat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the electric hedgehog Pokemon depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]]. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokemon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had in real life (for [[china|obvious]] reasons).

===[[Sonichu 5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who wants what's best for her and allows her to get married. In reality Sarah couldn't care less what Chris thought about her marriage, which renders his acceptance of the wedding null and void. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], who makes her debut appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also debuts the pseudo-manga look (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize the comic over the next few years.

By the next episode, things start getting confused. Yes, Chris is mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all Virginians from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who wish to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6]]===

''Sonichu 6'' is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to manage running a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction Location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making veiled hints that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]].

===[[Sonichu 7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in ''Sonichu 7'']]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and Sammy together]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked [[Megan]] into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most Manga-centric issue to date, as well as the most inconsistent when it comes to Chris's depictions of himself, as he manages to draw himself differently in every frame.

This issue is also notable because it introduces [[Sammy]], a younger version of Comic Chris who is a lot more similar to Real Chris, in that he watches TV on [[filmation Ghostbusters|"ghost command"]], is [[Obesity|massively overweight]], and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]].

Halfway through making the comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[time void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action.

===[[Sonichu 8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] picture, while Rosechu and Sonichu cheer on him in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterwards.

===[[Sonichu 9]]===
Chris doesn't appear until the very end of issue 9. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the Time Void and end up pulling Chris out of the void. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as Chris-Chan Sonichu, unveils some sort of plan (which is never mentioned) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in "Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Adventures"

===[[Sonichu 10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and quickly places himself in the middle of the spotlight. Whatever small narrative restrains the character had before are now completely gone, and he works more as a wish fulfilling Gary Stu than ever. Even worse, Comic Chris has inherited the same exact personality as his real-life counterpart. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]].

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood since they could use it as vaccine. Chris however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving 100 people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by Naitsirhc, but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water supplies in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

Meg Griffin suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of Sonichu, much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really Silvana in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris feels the need to apologize without really apologizing, this time to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed what almost equals to a genocide on them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, who have now been transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], he sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]].

After this, Hobo Chan challenges Mary Lee Walsh and curve stomps her, leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a life-time in CWCville's maximum security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furore. After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a starts giving a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessing and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by tearing him apart with his psychic powers.

And so the issue ends with Chris by urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in his name, for great is his wisdom and his benevolence.

==See also:==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris-Chan_(fanart)|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homo]] side
*[[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2010-03-30T10:20:07Z

Exemplary: /* In the comic */

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], [[Chris]] has portrayed himself as more than a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work. Within the comic universe, '''Chris''' is the mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and beloved by all ''despite'' failing almost as much as in real-life.

Despite the sub-episodes ostensibly featuring Real Chris, he can't seem to keep from evoking superpowers and plot contrivances.

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis of the character]]

Chris depicts himself as mayor of his fictional town [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, Comic Chris is popular, good-looking, and surrounded by women (in reality, [[trolls]], [[Gal pal|gal-pals]] who [[Megan Schroeder|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]] who also hate him.) He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] and use all the powers of the Electric Hedgehog [[Pokemon]] at will (thus rendering Sonichu and company completely irrelevant).

Comic Chris is noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[Medallions of Fail|medallion]] aren't handicaps, they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]]. He even has a job as mayor of CWCville, and a [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work,]] which she takes with a smile.

In other words, comic Chris is who real Chris really wants to be.

It should be noted that [[Sammy]] is actually a more accurate depiction of Chris in the comic.

===[[Sonichu 0]]===

Being the narcissistic tool he is, Chris felt it reasonable to add himself into his own comic. Right from ''[[Sonichu 0]]'' Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, not only is Chris drawing himself semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu 0'' is one of the rare issues actually based around Sonichu.

===[[Sonichu 1]]===

''Sonichu 1'' is Chris's lowest key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own drawing ability.

===[[Sonichu 2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu 2'' Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Going insane with his own self-absorption, Chris depicts himself as the fulfillment of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient_leader_of_the_Cherokee_Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

===[[Sonichu 3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a backseat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the electric hedgehog Pokemon depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[Jerkops]]. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokemon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had in real life (for [[china|obvious]] reasons).

===[[Sonichu 5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Hammer]] is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who wants what's best for her and allows her to get married. In reality Sarah couldn't care less what Chris thought about her marriage, which renders his acceptance of the wedding null and void. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan]], who makes her debut appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also debuts the pseudo-manga look (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize the comic over the next few years.

By the next episode, things start getting confused. Yes, Chris is mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all Virginians from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who wish to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6]]===

''Sonichu 6'' is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to manage running a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making veiled hints that [[Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]].

===[[Sonichu 7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in ''Sonichu 7'']]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and Sammy together]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked [[Megan]] into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most Manga-centric issue to date, as well as the most inconsistent when it comes to Chris's depictions of himself, as he manages to draw himself differently in every frame.

This issue is also notable because it introduces [[Sammy]], a younger version of Comic Chris who is a lot more similar to Real Chris, in that he watches TV on [[filmation Ghostbusters|"ghost command"]], is [[Obesity|massively overweight]], and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]].

Halfway through making the comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[time void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action.

===[[Sonichu 8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] picture, while Rosechu and Sonichu cheer on him in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterwards.

===[[Sonichu 9]]===
Chris doesn't appear until the very end of issue 9. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the Time Void and end up pulling Chris out of the void. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as Chris-Chan Sonichu, unveils some sort of plan (which is never mentioned) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in "Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Adventures"

===[[Sonichu 10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and quickly places himself in the middle of the spotlight. Whatever small narrative restrains the character had before are now completely gone, and he works more as a wish fulfilling Gary Stu than ever. Even worse, Comic Chris has inherited the same exact personality as his real-life counterpart. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]].

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood since they could use it as vaccine. Chris however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving 100 people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by Naitsirhc, but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water supplies in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

Meg Griffin suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of Sonichu, much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really Silvana in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris feels the need to apologize without really apologizing, this time to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed what almost equals to a genocide on them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, who have now been transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], he sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]].

After this, Hobo Chan challenges Mary Lee Walsh and curve stomps her, leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a life-time in CWCville's maximum security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furore. After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a starts giving a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessing and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by tearing him apart with his psychic powers.

And so the issue ends with Chris by urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in his name, for great is his wisdom and his benevolence.

==See also:==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris-Chan_(fanart)|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homo]] side
*[[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)

2010-03-30T10:15:58Z

Exemplary:

[[Image:Chris0.jpg|thumb|<s>Chris's most accurate self portrait</s> [[Sammy|Try this.]]]]
[[Image:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Definitely not this one.]]
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]], [[Chris]] has portrayed himself as more than a [[Obesity|fat]] [[autism|autistic]] slob who refuses to work. Within the comic universe, '''Chris''' is the mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and beloved by all ''despite'' failing almost as much as in real-life.

Despite the sub-episodes ostensibly featuring Real Chris, he can't seem to keep from evoking superpowers and plot contrivances.

==In the comic==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double chinned Chris.]]
[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis of the character]]

Chris depicts himself as mayor of his fictional town [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, Comic Chris is popular, good-looking, and surrounded by women (in reality, [[trolls]], [[gal-pals]] who [[Megan|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]] who also hate him.) He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and use all the powers of the Electric Hedgehog [[Pokemon]] at will (thus rendering Sonichu and company completely irrelevant).

Comic Chris is noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[medallion]] aren't handicaps, they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]]. He even has a job as mayor of CWCville, and a [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work,]] which she takes with a smile.

In other words, comic Chris is who real Chris really wants to be.

It should be noted that [[Sammy]] is actually a more accurate depiction of Chris in the comic.

===[[Sonichu 0]]===

Being the narcissistic tool he is, Chris felt it reasonable to add himself into his own comic. Right from ''[[Sonichu 0]]'' Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, not only is Chris drawing himself semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu 0'' is one of the rare issues actually based around Sonichu.

===[[Sonichu 1]]===

''Sonichu 1'' is Chris's lowest key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own drawing ability.

===[[Sonichu 2]]===

Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu 2'' Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Going insane with his own self-absorption, Chris depicts himself as the fulfillment of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient_leader_of_the_Cherokee_Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

===[[Sonichu 3]]===

After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a backseat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.

===[[Sonichu 4]]===

The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the electric hedgehog Pokemon depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[Jerkops]]. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokemon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had in real life (for [[china|obvious]] reasons).

===[[Sonichu 5]]===
[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris]]

Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Hammer]] is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who wants what's best for her and allows her to get married. In reality Sarah couldn't care less what Chris thought about her marriage, which renders his acceptance of the wedding null and void. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan]], who makes her debut appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.

This comic also debuts the pseudo-manga look (thanks a lot, Megan) that would come to characterize the comic over the next few years.

By the next episode, things start getting confused. Yes, Chris is mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all Virginians from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who wish to take it away]].

===[[Sonichu 6]]===

''Sonichu 6'' is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to manage running a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.

Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making veiled hints that [[Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]].

===[[Sonichu 7]]===
[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in ''Sonichu 7'']]
[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and Sammy together]]

The megalomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked [[Megan]] into being photographed with him.

The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most Manga-centric issue to date, as well as the most inconsistent when it comes to Chris's depictions of himself, as he manages to draw himself differently in every frame.

This issue is also notable because it introduces [[Sammy]], a younger version of Comic Chris who is a lot more similar to Real Chris, in that he watches TV on [[filmation Ghostbusters|"ghost command"]], is [[Obesity|massively overweight]], and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]].

Halfway through making the comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the [[time void]], and thus removing himself from the direct action.

===[[Sonichu 8]]===
Unable to keep himself completely out of the action, Chris emerges temporarily from the time void on the 10th floor in the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in order to physically assault an employee who is working on a caricature of the [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] picture, while Rosechu and Sonichu cheer on him in unison. Chris disappears immediately afterwards.

===[[Sonichu 9]]===
Chris doesn't appear until the very end of issue 9. In the scene, [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Wild Sonichu]] discover the Time Void and end up pulling Chris out of the void. Fifteen minutes later, Chris, as Chris-Chan Sonichu, unveils some sort of plan (which is never mentioned) and he races off. On the final page, Chris declares that he, and anyone he created out of his sweetheart search misadventures, will never show up in the pages of his comic again... though the last page presumes that it'll continue in "Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Adventures"

===[[Sonichu 10]]===
Despite the announcement at the end of the previous issue, Chris's character returns and quickly places himself in the middle of the spotlight. Whatever small narrative restrains the character had before are now completely gone, and he works more as a wish fulfilling Gary Stu than ever. Even worse, Comic Chris has inherited the same exact personality as his real-life counterpart. During the time this issue was being drawn, Chris was boiling with [[Chris and anger|rage]] and [[Death threats|crying for the blood]] of [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Evan|and]] [[Asperpedia|every]] [[Alec Benson Leary|other]] [[troll]] and for the [[Christian Love Day|"straightening out"]] of [[homosexual]] [[JERK|males]] due to all the gay ads in his [[CWCipedia]].

At the beginning of the comic Chris discusses the future, wherein he is to be married to a woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and, since he slept with her, he is no longer a virgin. Apparently, homosexuality is such a big problem in the future that Chris was also asked by future scientists to donate some of his "straight" blood since they could use it as vaccine. Chris however, hoping to employ it on the homos in the present, sends Magi-Chan back to the future to steal a crate of the vaccine.

Chris moves on to fight some devil trolls who had infested his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|old website]], and then he attacks and destroys 4-cent_garbage.com leaving 100 people dead in the process, including Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash, who are forced to commit suicide.

Chris is then attacked by Naitsirhc, but Chris eventually gets the upper hand and tries out the gay vaccine on him. After Naitsirhc turns back into his old incarnation, Chris declares the vaccine a success, and gives the order to pollute all the drinking water supplies in the world with it, effectually eradicating homosexuality and asexuality (since Chris for some reason does not like that either).

Meg Griffin suddenly turns up and claims to be fan of Sonichu, much to Chris's pleasure. After beating up some random guy who called Meg "sir" and Chris "madam", he cheats on Lovely Weather by making out with her, after her confirming that she is consensual. Unbeknownst to Chris, Meg is really Silvana in disguise, and Chris has therefore been trolled.

Once again Chris feels the need to apologize without really apologizing, this time to the homosexuals who might have been offended by the fact that he just committed what almost equals to a genocide on them. With that out of the way, Chris takes out the [[Sonichu Balls]] and transforms into [[Collosal Chan]], and together with Sonichu, who have now been transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]], he sets out to "right some wrongs". Aside from the minor detail of getting [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] out of the mirror, [[Collosal Chan|Hobo Chan's]] main priority is getting rid of [[Asperchu]].

After this, Hobo Chan challenges Mary Lee Walsh and curve stomps her, leaving her completely paralyzed and sentenced to a life-time in CWCville's maximum security prison (killing her is out of the question after the [[Liquid Chris]] furore. After that, Chris reverts to his human form and gives a starts giving a speech. Meanwhile, Simonla Rosechu is murdered, and the Asperpedia Four are arrested for the crime. And at the same times as Chris starts giving out blessing and apologies to the Asperpedia Four, they are subjected to a show trial for their crime against him and CWCville, and are brutally executed by the Sonichus, with Chris partaking in Alec's execution by electrocution, and personally carrying out Mao's execution by tearing him apart with his psychic powers.

And so the issue ends with Chris by urging everyone to celebrate his masturbatory holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and leap and dance and sing praise in his name, for great is his wisdom and his benevolence.

==See also:==
{{Fan art|chris=Chris-Chan_(fanart)|linkname=Christian Weston Chandler}}
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]] – Chris IRL
*[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] – his [[Patti-Chan|furry]] side
*[[Collosal Chan]] - the personification of his God complex
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler]] – his [[Silvana|feminine]] side
*[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] – his [[homo]] side
*[[Ancient Leader of the Cherokee Clan]] – his [[Niggos|racist]] side
*[[Sammy]] – his much more [[Honest Content|honest]] self-portrait
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]