CWCki - User contributions [en]

Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"

2015-02-12T22:25:06Z

Export A: Added Video to page.

'''Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 6 [[August 2011]], and the third video in the [[Calling Out]] series. In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest [[jerkops|the authorities]] intervene: 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DO8ShjWAlJ0}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]|nextlink=[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]}}
{{Calling Out}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-06 d]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Jason Kendrick Howell message

2015-01-02T06:34:16Z

Export A: Added Video

[[Media:Example.ogg]]The '''Jason Kendrick Howell voicemail message''' was [[Chris]]'s infantile-yet-laconic threat to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after the hacking of [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] in [[January 2009]]. In fact, Howell had nothing to do with the site's demise, for the mastermind was [[Clyde Cash|someone]] far more nefarious.

==Context==

On 6 January 2009, [[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays contacted Chris]], claiming to be an employee of [[Nintendo]]. Mays said he had been assigned to redesign Sonichu.net as part of the cross-promotion of Sonichu and [[Animal Crossing]].

In fact, Gregg was really [[Clyde Cash]], seeking vengeance for the suicide of his [[Ryan Cash|little brother]] a few weeks earlier. By 8 January, Chris entrusted him with the password to the site, and in no time at all the site was vandalized. Unable to access the site to restore it, Chris accused Gregg of being a troll and changing the password to lock him out of his Tripod account. Gregg claimed he couldn't access the site either, and suggested that he could restore it if Chris reset the password to his account. Chris complied on 10 January, and soon the account was deleted altogether.

Then, on the 12th, Mays declared that he was Jason Kendrick Howell, a.k.a. Liquid Snake, the creator of the Chris-Chan page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. After taunting Chris and demanding he make videos for his amusement, Cash finally changed his mind on [[Gregg_Mays_E-mails#January_17.2C_2009|17 January]], and admitted that he was in fact Clyde Cash all along, and not Jason Kendrick Howell.

Chris ignored this revelation, thinking it was the Jason making up yet another alias. After all, Chris had long considered Howell to be the mastermind behind all of the trolls, while Clyde was new to the scene. Further, Chris sent the ''real'' Jason an angry voice mail, and gloated about this in response to a bewildered Clyde.

Meanwhile, the TRUE AND HONEST Jason Kendrick Howell, unaware of any of this, checked his messages and this was what he got...

==The Message==

{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Chris-Chan Calls Jason Kendrick Howell
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|fyNiZpk9AsU}}
| Stardate = January 17, 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; Jason Kendrick Howell's Answering Machine
| Subject = Chris reacts to the hacking of Sonichu.net.
| Saga = [[Image:Clyde_saga.png]] [[Clyde Cash]] Saga [[Image:Miyamoto_saga.png]] [[Miyamoto]] Saga
}}

==Transcript==
[[File:100_2214.JPG|thumb|What he intended to do to Jason]]
''Answering Machine:'' First saved message

Jason Kendrick Howell... 
You BASTARD! 
You ''BASTARD!'' 
You hacked into everything! You have driven me so [[Chris and English|beyond]] the wall, I can't even describe it! 
You're laughing now, but 
{{RageQuote|I PRAY YOU DEAD!}}
Goodbye!

==Alternative Transcriptions==
[[Image:ILLBREAKYOUDEAD.jpg|thumb|Original e-mail with text of Chris's threat to Jason]]
Some argue Chris is actually saying "I'll ''break'' you dead", because the image of Chris going into [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] mode and snapping Jason in half ([[Sign Destruction Video|or rather clumsily attempting to]]) is quite amusing. Jason himself originally transcribed the message with Chris saying "YOU HAPPY NAPPA (?!? no idea)", rather than "You're laughing now". Given his history of [[Speech impediment|communications]] [[Chris and English|problems]], even Chris himself may have had no idea what he was trying to say.

==Legacy==

Chris would attempt to re-establish his Sonichu website several times, only to be hacked and vandalized as before. In time, Chris would view Clyde Cash as the leader of the trolls, shifting his ire away from Jason. Throughout 2009, Chris would produce numerous videos directed at Clyde, threatening him, pleading with him, or challenging him.

The rage expressed in the message would become a familiar refrain in later sagas, as Chris would often cap off a round of trolling by screaming at his camera and uploading the footage to [[YouTube]].

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Gregg Mays E-mails]]
*[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]
*[[Chris and Anger]]
*[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], Chris and Clyde's next encounter.
*[[Sonichu 10]], when we actually get to see Chris break someone dead.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?7300v5ztrt6oyh0 The audio recording]
*[http://db.tt/TZ56D6xe Audio mirror]
*A Jason Retrospective [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISr7Fq7EPY Part 1], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY Part 2], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ Part 3], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG_ySvT2Qg4 Part 4], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umvpa89jZRU Part 5], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2-41BQvqU Part 6 (5.2)] Jason's commentary on the early history of Chris-Chan trolling, including his POV on the "I'll BREAK YOU DEAD" message.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

Bob Walks In Aftermath

2014-12-26T01:31:50Z

Export A:

[[category:Phone calls]]

[[Chris]]'s conversation with[[ Julie]], after [[Bob]] cut down the internet. Julie is inaudible throughout. It is notable that Chris ends the call after saying "''Ich bin schwul. Ich bin schwul with my heart.''" before making a series sounds which vaguely resemble kissing noises. The words 'Ich bin schwul' were famously used by an [[Homos|openly gay]] mayor of Berlin by the name of [[Wikipedia:Klaus_Wowereit|Klaus Wowereit]]. It is also notable that it translates to "''I am gay''", which just goes to show how [[naive]] Chris is when it comes to other languages.

==Listen==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Bob Walks In Aftermath
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|nLNa5WE3njo}}
| Stardate = 14 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}
| previous = [[Bob Walks In]]
| next = [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 1]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
Hello Julie. Now listen, you have to talk to me, I'm calling you from my [[PSP]]. It does not accept typed feedback.

[''Pause'']

Yeah, sorry about that my dad just- my dad--you're right, I should have answered the phone. My dad got some ca-calls from a troll, claiming that I was going to commit suicide on [[YouTube]].

[''Brief pause'']

[''sigh''] That bastard. Oh well, at least I- at least I still have my PSP so I can call you on that. My dad shut down the [[computer]] and he doesn't want me back on there.

[''Pause'']

Yeah, I still got my [[PS3]], and the wi-fi, and my PSP. So between them I'm- I'm o- between them I'm okay. But I can, uh, if you want, uh, want us to do, uh, if you want us to do like, our cybersex we're definitely going to have to go audio. Audio only no--I, yeah so--what's that?

[''Brief pause'']

Yeah that's gonna take awhile. 'Cause, you know, he's not- y-you should see- he's old, and he does not take things as easily as, uh the younger generation can. I also- I also had like a chat window set up in the PS3, uh, just after father interrupted and I sent you a chat invite. But then I remembered- then I remembered just a few- just a few moments ago the PSN on my PSP, so I called you on here.

[''Pause'']

Yeah... Yeah, he just said, "Just- Just leave me alone." Next to go [''unintelligible''].

[''Brief pause'']

Then I'll wake my mother up, but uh, he woke her up, and then she came upstairs...about just after I had opened the chat window on my PS3... and uh... I basically described to her- described to her what I was doing without saying "[[mass debating|masturbation]]" or "cybersex".

[''Pause'']

Only my moth- only my mother knows about it. And she has- she has this thing in her mind against, uh, she has this thing in her mind against being able to believe people- people over the internet and falling in love with them so easily... Yeah, so I don't say- so that's why I didn't say anything about that to her at this time., even though she would have been- she would have been open-minded about it since I have told her previously about my masturbation.

[''Pause'']

I told my mother about you, yeah.

[''Brief pause'']

Uh, she says she'll believe it when, uh, she sees you in person.

[''Pause'', ''Chris sighs'']

Yeah, and I think she...

[''Pause'']

Yeah... Yeah [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] or some other troll but more likely Clyde.

[''Pause'']

Uh, I don't know, I do not answer the phone but my mom said that she heard the voice before on the telephone, 'cause she must have picked it up at one time. And she said that she had heard the voice before. But then my father picked it up, then you know what happened.

[''Pause'']

[''Sigh''] Yeah he's just real mad. He gets riled up very easily in the nighttime.

[''Pause'']

What am I gonna do now? Hmmm. Well pretty much now, my erection has, uh, been undone and I'm not feeling in the mood for it right now, but you know hey, on the bright side, we still have our Sunday Valentines Day Date in LittleBig- in [[LittleBigPlanet]].

[''Pause'']

What?

[''Brief pause'']

Yeah. Maybe we can chat on the PSN or through Skype through my PSP here.

[''Brief pause'']

'Cause I'm not sure on this, the time anyway.

[''Brief pause']

I just mean it causes [[stress]], I mean- you know I was feeling so elated and father came in and made me feel embarrassed and got me all keyed up with stress.

[''Pause'']

Hmm... I'm not sure how to explain it to him, 'cause I never told him about my masturbation.

[''Pause'']

And he's not very- he's not as open-minded as my mother is about the subject.

[''Pause'']

Mmm. So, I think, uhh, you know that at this point if you are cybersex through audio only you either through the PSN or Skype right here.

[''Pause'']

Your brother doesn't like to- your brother doesn't like to hear your erotic moaning?

[''Brief Pause'']

H-He told you that?

[''Pause'']

Oh... Ohhhh. Hmm.

[''Pause'']

Oh. I see.

[''Brief Pause'']

Hmm.

[''Brief Pause'']

No. I nev-never thought that would've crossed my mind.

[''Brief Pause'']

I mean- I mean uhh...

[''Brief Pause'']

I-I would say for most men that, uhh...

[''Brief Pause'']

Well, still, I mean they'd say to distance myself, but...

[''Brief Pause'']

You know, I'd rather this went on until- on until Mumble or whatever...

[''Brief Pause'']

Fo-For sure. Then the- Then I don't make an assumption. Yeah, 'cause I just, well, I just don't make an assumption off the bat about the orientation.

[''Pauses and sighs, followed by another brief pause'']

[''Chris makes some strange noises. It almost sounds like he's moaning'']

[''Pause'']

So...

[''Brief pause'']

Hmm. Uh, y-y-so, y-so [unintelligible], so if he ever did talk to you about your erotic moaning, so--Y-y-so you didn't really talk to your brother about you doing that with me? And that we were in love.

[''Brief Pause'']

You didn't talk to him?

[''Long Pause'']

Alright.

[''Attempts to talk, sighs'']

Okay.

[''Brief Pause'']

Alright, so- alright, so, uh, let me do that in the what?

[''Pause'']

Oh, in this house.

[''Pause'']

Hmm. Well, you know what? You know that I have, uh, watched a romantic comedy where the older- where there's, like, an older brother and a younger sister going out with this guy. Something like that. I'm sure they made a romantic comedy about that.

[''Brief Pause'']

And, uh, like you know, he can watch that and see how it's better for us and an adventure if he, like, accepts it... Mmm, I think, uh, I think he's probably- I mean, I'm thinking that he's probably in, uh, deni- in, uh, denial on that road to, like, give you- give you up seriously to me just yet. He still hasn't accepted that thoroughly. That's what I think, anyway. Yeah?

[''Long pause'']

Hey, I still love you, and you're coming to visit me at least, right?

[''Brief Pause'']

Mmmkay.

[''Brief Pause'']

Help me search for a job. Oh yeah, I'm having, uh, actually I'm searching for volunteer work that pays, and I'm having [[Rocky]] help me with that. I called her the other day and told her that I put more effort into that for me. And, uh, I'm doing my part as well. I'm searching like, local news magazines like, uh, [http://www.readthehook.com/ ''The Hook].''

[''Brief Pause'']

It's a... ''local'' news magazine, newsletter. You know, it's not newspaper, but it's printed on such paper, and it's usually distributed for free? You probably have something, like- You probably have something like that in your state, yeah?

[''Brief Pause'']

I love you, too. Ich bin [[homo|schwul]], Julie.

[''Brief pause'']

I will never forget that. Ich bin schwul, Julie. Ich bin schwul. Ich bin schwul with my heart... All right.

[''Makes several kissing noises until the tape ends'']

==Download==

* [http://www.mediafire.com/?ft741xt6bn95t98 MP3 audio of the call]
* [http://db.tt/OlXivh3Y Mirror]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category: Julie Saga]]

Bob Walks In Aftermath

2014-12-26T01:30:41Z

Export A:

[[category:Phone calls]]

[[Chris]]'s conversation with[[ Julie]], after [[Bob]] cut down the internet. Julie is inaudible throughout. It is notable that Chris ends the call after saying "''Ich bin schwul. Ich bin schwul with my heart.''" before making a series sounds which vaguely resemble kissing noises. The words 'Ich bin schwul' were famously used by an [[Homos|openly gay]] mayor of Berlin by the name of [[Wikipedia:Klaus_Wowereit|Klaus Wowereit]]. It is also notable that it translates to "''I am gay''", which just goes to show how [[naive]] Chris is when it comes to other languages.

{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Bob Walks In Aftermath
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|nLNa5WE3njo}}
| Stardate = 14 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}
| previous = [[Bob Walks In]]
| next = [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 1]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
Hello Julie. Now listen, you have to talk to me, I'm calling you from my [[PSP]]. It does not accept typed feedback.

[''Pause'']

Yeah, sorry about that my dad just- my dad--you're right, I should have answered the phone. My dad got some ca-calls from a troll, claiming that I was going to commit suicide on [[YouTube]].

[''Brief pause'']

[''sigh''] That bastard. Oh well, at least I- at least I still have my PSP so I can call you on that. My dad shut down the [[computer]] and he doesn't want me back on there.

[''Pause'']

Yeah, I still got my [[PS3]], and the wi-fi, and my PSP. So between them I'm- I'm o- between them I'm okay. But I can, uh, if you want, uh, want us to do, uh, if you want us to do like, our cybersex we're definitely going to have to go audio. Audio only no--I, yeah so--what's that?

[''Brief pause'']

Yeah that's gonna take awhile. 'Cause, you know, he's not- y-you should see- he's old, and he does not take things as easily as, uh the younger generation can. I also- I also had like a chat window set up in the PS3, uh, just after father interrupted and I sent you a chat invite. But then I remembered- then I remembered just a few- just a few moments ago the PSN on my PSP, so I called you on here.

[''Pause'']

Yeah... Yeah, he just said, "Just- Just leave me alone." Next to go [''unintelligible''].

[''Brief pause'']

Then I'll wake my mother up, but uh, he woke her up, and then she came upstairs...about just after I had opened the chat window on my PS3... and uh... I basically described to her- described to her what I was doing without saying "[[mass debating|masturbation]]" or "cybersex".

[''Pause'']

Only my moth- only my mother knows about it. And she has- she has this thing in her mind against, uh, she has this thing in her mind against being able to believe people- people over the internet and falling in love with them so easily... Yeah, so I don't say- so that's why I didn't say anything about that to her at this time., even though she would have been- she would have been open-minded about it since I have told her previously about my masturbation.

[''Pause'']

I told my mother about you, yeah.

[''Brief pause'']

Uh, she says she'll believe it when, uh, she sees you in person.

[''Pause'', ''Chris sighs'']

Yeah, and I think she...

[''Pause'']

Yeah... Yeah [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] or some other troll but more likely Clyde.

[''Pause'']

Uh, I don't know, I do not answer the phone but my mom said that she heard the voice before on the telephone, 'cause she must have picked it up at one time. And she said that she had heard the voice before. But then my father picked it up, then you know what happened.

[''Pause'']

[''Sigh''] Yeah he's just real mad. He gets riled up very easily in the nighttime.

[''Pause'']

What am I gonna do now? Hmmm. Well pretty much now, my erection has, uh, been undone and I'm not feeling in the mood for it right now, but you know hey, on the bright side, we still have our Sunday Valentines Day Date in LittleBig- in [[LittleBigPlanet]].

[''Pause'']

What?

[''Brief pause'']

Yeah. Maybe we can chat on the PSN or through Skype through my PSP here.

[''Brief pause'']

'Cause I'm not sure on this, the time anyway.

[''Brief pause']

I just mean it causes [[stress]], I mean- you know I was feeling so elated and father came in and made me feel embarrassed and got me all keyed up with stress.

[''Pause'']

Hmm... I'm not sure how to explain it to him, 'cause I never told him about my masturbation.

[''Pause'']

And he's not very- he's not as open-minded as my mother is about the subject.

[''Pause'']

Mmm. So, I think, uhh, you know that at this point if you are cybersex through audio only you either through the PSN or Skype right here.

[''Pause'']

Your brother doesn't like to- your brother doesn't like to hear your erotic moaning?

[''Brief Pause'']

H-He told you that?

[''Pause'']

Oh... Ohhhh. Hmm.

[''Pause'']

Oh. I see.

[''Brief Pause'']

Hmm.

[''Brief Pause'']

No. I nev-never thought that would've crossed my mind.

[''Brief Pause'']

I mean- I mean uhh...

[''Brief Pause'']

I-I would say for most men that, uhh...

[''Brief Pause'']

Well, still, I mean they'd say to distance myself, but...

[''Brief Pause'']

You know, I'd rather this went on until- on until Mumble or whatever...

[''Brief Pause'']

Fo-For sure. Then the- Then I don't make an assumption. Yeah, 'cause I just, well, I just don't make an assumption off the bat about the orientation.

[''Pauses and sighs, followed by another brief pause'']

[''Chris makes some strange noises. It almost sounds like he's moaning'']

[''Pause'']

So...

[''Brief pause'']

Hmm. Uh, y-y-so, y-so [unintelligible], so if he ever did talk to you about your erotic moaning, so--Y-y-so you didn't really talk to your brother about you doing that with me? And that we were in love.

[''Brief Pause'']

You didn't talk to him?

[''Long Pause'']

Alright.

[''Attempts to talk, sighs'']

Okay.

[''Brief Pause'']

Alright, so- alright, so, uh, let me do that in the what?

[''Pause'']

Oh, in this house.

[''Pause'']

Hmm. Well, you know what? You know that I have, uh, watched a romantic comedy where the older- where there's, like, an older brother and a younger sister going out with this guy. Something like that. I'm sure they made a romantic comedy about that.

[''Brief Pause'']

And, uh, like you know, he can watch that and see how it's better for us and an adventure if he, like, accepts it... Mmm, I think, uh, I think he's probably- I mean, I'm thinking that he's probably in, uh, deni- in, uh, denial on that road to, like, give you- give you up seriously to me just yet. He still hasn't accepted that thoroughly. That's what I think, anyway. Yeah?

[''Long pause'']

Hey, I still love you, and you're coming to visit me at least, right?

[''Brief Pause'']

Mmmkay.

[''Brief Pause'']

Help me search for a job. Oh yeah, I'm having, uh, actually I'm searching for volunteer work that pays, and I'm having [[Rocky]] help me with that. I called her the other day and told her that I put more effort into that for me. And, uh, I'm doing my part as well. I'm searching like, local news magazines like, uh, [http://www.readthehook.com/ ''The Hook].''

[''Brief Pause'']

It's a... ''local'' news magazine, newsletter. You know, it's not newspaper, but it's printed on such paper, and it's usually distributed for free? You probably have something, like- You probably have something like that in your state, yeah?

[''Brief Pause'']

I love you, too. Ich bin [[homo|schwul]], Julie.

[''Brief pause'']

I will never forget that. Ich bin schwul, Julie. Ich bin schwul. Ich bin schwul with my heart... All right.

[''Makes several kissing noises until the tape ends'']

==Download==

* [http://www.mediafire.com/?ft741xt6bn95t98 MP3 audio of the call]
* [http://db.tt/OlXivh3Y Mirror]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category: Julie Saga]]

CWC Cums for a Cat

2014-12-26T01:21:31Z

Export A: Added Video

'''CWC Cums for a Cat''' is an audio recording of a furry phone sex session between [[Chris]] and [[Julie]]. Only Chris's side of the conversation can be heard, but Chris seems to be taking on the persona of a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] while Julie takes on the form of a cat. [[Chandler cats|Lucy]] walks into the room and interrupts the [[mass debating]]. Given how long it took him to finish, he needed all the help he could get.

==Highlights==

*Women apparently derive great pleasure from having their genitals electrocuted.
*Chris has a lactation fetish.
*Chris thinks making nipple-sucking sound effects, inserting [[random-access humor]], and forcing groans like a porn star intensify the mood.
*Just like belching after a meal is considered a compliment in some cultures, belching after sex is what a true [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova|Casanova]] does to express appreciation for their partner's efforts.

==Listen==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = CWC Cums for a Cat
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|HO6KhLXGrME}}
| Stardate = 13 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}
| previous = [[Mumble 6]]
| next = [[Mumble 7]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
[[Image:Chris-CatBurp.PNG|200px|thumb|Might say I'm burpin', because uh I quite enjoyed you.]]

''[A television or a radio is playing in the background throughout the recording]''

Hey Julie!

Well, at least you can hear me, that's good.

Uhhh, yuh let me think about that, I'll give you a s-I'll give you a...setting. Uhhh. Mmmm. Okay, you want do you want to 'kay you want to try fantasy. Ummm. How 'bout. All right, I'll do my best uhhh in the fantasy. Umm. Okay yeah.

''[Chris makes two strained noises with his mouth that are supposed to simulate thunderbolt noises]''

PEECHOOM! PEECHOOM! I'll just do a lightning bolt. PEECHOOM!

''[breathing noises]''

All right so how bou-all right so, how bout this at CWCville beach. At sunset. And it's just the two of us. We're lying on a beach towel.

''[Ecstatic]'' Mmmm. All right, we're lookin' into each others eyes. And we feel the romantic emotions and tensions between us. Feels right.

Oh. Yeah. Oooo. I'm starting to get stiff.

Okay. Just we're at the beach, I'm just wearing my...hmmm?

You need someone to make you feel good? Oh. Okay. Yeah. All right, are you uh...so what are you wearing, are you wearing a bikini? Okay, I'm just wearing swim trunks.

Yeah, so you basically grab me, with my swim trunks covering it. Okay, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm reachin' down there and I'm...feeling arou-I'm feeling around down there I'm feeling the edge of your bi-kee-nee. And I'm reach um I reach through the bikini, and I uh start to feel your [[china|pussy]].

Mmmm. ''[breathing]'' Yeah. PEECHOOM! PEECHOOM! I send a few short static shocks up your up your...pussy. Not enough to hurt you too bad, but make it feel good.

Yeah, I'm do-I'm givin' that to you with my right hand with my light, my left hand, I'm uh, movin' your top.

''[in a French accent]'' I'M HUMAN AND NOT A BEAST! After I move your top, I massage your right breast.

''[no longer speaking in an accent]'' Mmm. So bas-so basically I'm massaging your right breast and and my left hand, and I got my right hand in your pussy givin' a few givin' you a few shocks.

Mmm. Well what are you doin' to ME. At this point. As you reach in my swim trunks?

Oh, yeah. So, describe to me how you're rubbin' me there. Or my case are you pullin' it out of me? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. ''[pause]'' Mmmm. ''[pause]'' Wow. ''[pleasing exhale]'' Okay. I make a pounce I make a pounce at you while you're...I make a pounce at you. Wh-we-we're like rolling along the beach a bit.

Oooh. Yeah, I think I'm gonna end up on top this time.

Mmm. So you so you still want to rub my dick, or do you want it inside you?

Oh, yeah, there ya go. And it's in there. I'm using my free hands to...massage your breasts! What are you doin' with your hands?

Oh, yeah. ''[breathing]'' Oh, yeah. Mmm. ''[Chris makes licking or suckling sounds]'' Right, and I'm humping and I'm pushing myself in and out as you kiss my, as you kiss me all over my face.

That's all right, I've got some fur on me too. As long as you don't mind, eh, ''[slyly]'' ''static''.

Right, I'll, I'm going in and out. In and out. I grad-I start slow and then I gradually go a little faster.

Oh yeah. We both feel good. Uhnn. Mmm, yeah. As I push your face I'm pushing myself in and out for and I have to move my face up a bit, 'cause it's feeling good for me. Oh.

Oh! Okay. I'll massage your right breast in my left hand, and I'll suck your n-suck your n-left nipple. Mmmm. ''[Chris makes suckling noises with his mouth]''

And I'm just humpin' you with...with GOOD SPEED. I SUCK YOUR TEAT. Mmm, it's tasty. ''[childlike]'' It verrah tay-tee. Yeah. Mmm.

All right your turn, what do you want do now? All right, you roll me over. I'm still inside you.

Aw, yeah. Oh, yeah. ''[breathing]'' Oh, yeah.

''[Chris's [[Chandler cats|cat Lucy]] wanders into the room]''

''[mumbling]'' Oh, hang on a second. ''[to Lucy]'' Lucy get outta here. Lucy, out. Lucy, out. Go on, shoo. Shoo. ''[background noises indicate Chris is getting the cat out of the room, sits back down]'' Mmm. Yeah, that's.

Oh. Your head can bend down that far. Mmm, which one you lickin' the one that the milk came out of over there? Mmm. Aw, yeah. All right now, caress your sweet breast in my with my left hand. And I'm caressing your le-your left butt cheek with my right hand.

You mean the one I'm massaging now? You mean the one the milk hasn't come out of? Yeah. Yep. ''[Chris makes suckling noises]'' Gulp, mmm. ''[suckling more]'' Oh, yeah that feels good. MMM. Mmm. ''[continues to make suckling noises]'' Mmm. Mmm. Ooh. Oh, yeah.

You're gonna get MY milk, kitty-cat!

''[Chris moans repeatedly for almost a minute]'' Oh Julie. Oh. OOOHH, JULIE JULIE! JULIE! ''[Chris continues to moan, the sound of him fapping into a [[Fapcup|plastic cup]] can now be heard]''

Are you about there? Are you about the-oh.

''[Thirty seconds of ardor and grunting, before Chris says in a very strained, painful manner,]'' It's coming, it's coming. ''[Another twenty seconds of heavy breathing, frenzied fapping, moaning]''

AAAGLGARAGH, oh yeah! ''[twenty seconds more of strained groaning and grunting]''

I'll lean up to lick it. Ohhh, I'm gettin' there myself.

''[Twenty seconds of heavy breathing and fapping, Chris sounds like he says, "I'm like you doin'" but the audio quality is poor]''

I'm not done yet.

''[more strained grunting]'' Oh-ooo-oh-ooo-oh-ooo-ohhhhh.

Ut, here I come, here it comes, LLLLLLLLAAAAAAGGGHHH! AAAAAGH! ''[Chris very loudly and obnoxiously moans and pants for twenty seconds]''

Yep. You got a lot. Mmm. Aaah.

After you get here and you can.

Mmm. Go ahead and lick me clean. ''[Windows beep]''

Mmm. Aahh. Mmm. That was good. Yeah. Mmm. Maybe. Uhh. No, I s-sure I would have my [[Monty Python|British comedy]] tomorrow. Maybe Sunday. It's all right though. At least you'll have me again. Excuse me a moment.

''[sound of Chris getting up, followed by water running, sound of Chris returning and knocking over a bunch of stuff]'' All right, mmm. ''[sound of Chris [[Recycling|taking a huge drink]], refreshed gasp, licks lips, and belches]''

'Scuse me. Might say I'm burpin', because uh I quite enjoyed you. And your juices. Mmm. Mmm. Aaah. That sounds good. Hang on, I'm going to hang up here. ''[audio ends]''

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Julie Saga]]

Julie Reveals Herself

2014-12-23T21:18:57Z

Export A: Added Video to page

In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.

==Description==
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.

It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Julie Reveals Herself
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Aq9Lepe1xjs}}
| Stardate = 3 [[March 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Bluespike]], [[Clyde]]
| Saga = {{Julie|text}}
}} </center>

==Transcript==

===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===
'''Max:''' [tape begins with very low quality] Ready? [The sound of the trolls voices can be heard, but very faintly. The audio then becomes more audiable as Max begins his onslaught on Chris.] Christian Chandler, hello!
 '''Chris:''' Hello.
 '''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?
 '''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.
 '''Max:''' Why? Tell me!
 '''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.
 '''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].
 '''Max:''' Chris...
 '''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.
 '''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.
 '''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?
 '''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.
 '''Chris:''' I want Julie.
 '''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']
 '''Max:''' [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.
 '''Chris:''' [''another angry constipated sound'']
 '''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.
 '''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no.
 '''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].
 '''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!
 '''Max:''' Yes! eBay!
 '''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.
 '''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...
 '''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.
 '''Max:''' Why should I stop?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']
 '''Max:''' Why should I stop?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.
 '''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?
 '''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']
 '''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.
 '''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?
 '''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."
 '''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.
 '''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...
 '''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!
 '''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!!!
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.
 '''Chris:''' No! No, no!
 '''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.
 '''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!
 '''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.
 '''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRAAGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!!!
 '''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No! No! No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.
 '''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.
 '''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' Stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' Stop!
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!!!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?
 '''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—
 '''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.
 '''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.
 '''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!
 '''Max:''' Start auction...
 '''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?
 '''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—
 '''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]
 '''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.
 '''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—
 '''Max:''' Start auction...
 '''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.
 '''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.
 '''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!
 '''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.
 '''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!
 '''Max:''' I can have it?
 '''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!
 '''Max:''' Okay!
 '''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!
 '''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.
 '''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.
 '''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—
 '''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!
 '''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?
 '''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...
 '''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, [[Wikipedia:King of the Hill|I'll tell you what]].
 '''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?
 '''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.
 '''Chris:''' No. No. No.
 '''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']
 '''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—
 '''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.
 '''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.
 '''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!
 '''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?
 '''Chris:''' [''screaming'']
 '''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.
 '''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.
 '''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!
 '''Chris:''' [''getting louder and whinier''] No, just stop, just stooooop!
 '''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
 '''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
 '''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.
 '''Chris:''' Alright...
 '''Max:''' Suck my dick.
 '''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?
 '''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.
 '''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.
 '''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.
 '''Max:''' Listen to what?
 '''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person. Please, I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.
 '''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...
 '''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.
 '''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.
 '''Chris:''' But listen, I—
 '''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!
 '''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' Yes!
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.
 '''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?
 '''Max:''' It's gone.
 '''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—
 '''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===
'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' No...
 '''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO!!! NO, NO!!! DON'T!!! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...
 '''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—
 '''Max:''' Don't...
 '''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.
 '''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.
 '''Chris:''' Fine.
 '''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.
 '''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.
 '''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.
 '''Max:''' It's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' You cross that line...
 '''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!
 '''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—
 '''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' What is it then?
 '''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!
 '''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.
 '''Chris:''' Wait. What?
 '''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.

===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===
'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.
 '''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!
 '''Max:''' Really?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.
 '''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...
 '''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.
 '''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...
 '''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—
 '''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' How about, Chris—
 '''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.
 '''Max:''' I can't even see you.
 '''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.
 '''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.
 '''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']
 '''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?
 '''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].

===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===
'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?
 '''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.
 '''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.
 '''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—
 '''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.
 '''Chris:''' I might—
 '''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.
 '''Chris:''' What about Julie?
 '''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.
 '''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.
 '''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...
 '''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Jizz?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?
 '''Max:''' Oh, "what does 'jizz' mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.
 '''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.
 '''Chris:''' Who the hell is he?
 '''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause'']
 '''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.
 '''Chris:''' [''more silence'']
 '''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.
 '''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.
 '''Chris:''' Go ahead.
 '''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===
'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' That's a good boy.
 '''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!
 '''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.
 '''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."
 '''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.
 '''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.
 '''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].
 '''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]
 '''Max:''' Louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.
 '''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]
 '''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...
 '''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!
 '''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!
 '''Chris:''' Just the opposite!
 '''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.
 '''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.
 '''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.
 '''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!
 '''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']
 '''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.
 '''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!
 '''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!

===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===
'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.
 '''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.
 '''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.
 '''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!
 '''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.
 '''Chris:''' [''rustling'']

===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===
'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.
 '''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?
 '''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.
 '''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.
 '''Chris:''' You're going to see this.
 '''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.
 '''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.
 '''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!
 '''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']
 '''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!
 '''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing'']
 '''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—
 '''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.
 '''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...
 '''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.
 '''Chris:''' Terrible.
 '''Max:''' How does it feel?
 '''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.
 '''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."
 '''Chris:''' Heartless.
 '''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?
 '''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.
 '''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.
 '''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!
 '''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.
 '''Chris:''' No. I said no!
 '''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!
 '''Chris:''' I said NO!!!
 '''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.
 '''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!
 '''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.
 '''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!
 '''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']
 '''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.
 '''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']
 '''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.
 '''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']
 '''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?
 '''Max:''' After you do this, yes.
 '''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?
 '''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."
 '''Chris:''' Up my ass.
 '''Max:''' Up your ass.
 '''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.
 '''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?
 '''Chris:''' ...Maybe.
 '''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?
 '''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]
 '''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just—
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?
 '''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.
 '''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.
 '''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']
 '''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.
 '''Max:''' How miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Totally miserable.
 '''Max:''' Oh, really?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!
 '''Chris:''' [''grunting'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']
 '''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']
 '''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?
 '''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.
 '''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.
 '''Chris:''' [''groan'']
 '''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—
 '''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']
 '''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.
 '''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']
 '''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.
 '''Troll 3:''' This is awful.
 '''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']
 '''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.
 '''Max:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.
 '''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.
 '''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']
 '''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.
 '''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.
 '''Chris:''' Stop?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, sure.
 '''Chris:''' [''groan'']
 '''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.
 '''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.
 '''Chris:''' One second.
 '''Troll:''' Blue, let him...
 '''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.
 '''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.
 '''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.
 '''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.
 '''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?
 '''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.
 '''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?
 '''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!
 '''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.

===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===
'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.
 '''Max:''' Really? How terrible?
 '''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?
 '''Chris:''' No, this is enough.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.
 '''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.
 '''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...
 '''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—
 '''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?
 '''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?
 '''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?
 '''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?
 '''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.
 '''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.
 '''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"
 '''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.
 '''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!
 '''Chris:''' No, [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|I'm not going to burn my house down.]]
 '''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.
 '''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.
 '''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.
 '''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.

===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===
'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.
 '''Troll:''' Ten points.
 '''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.
 '''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...
 '''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—
 '''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!
 '''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—
 '''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.
 '''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.
 '''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PSEye]], get the PSEye...
 '''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.
 '''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.
 '''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.
 '''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.
 '''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?
 '''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.
 '''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']
 '''Max:''' There we go.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.
 '''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.
 '''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?
 '''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.
 '''Max:''' Does it work?
 '''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.
 '''Max:''' Software for the hardware?
 '''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.
 '''Max:''' Yes...
 '''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.
 '''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?
 '''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?
 '''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.
 '''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Chris? Chris!
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?
 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can turn the volume down on the radio!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!
 '''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?
 '''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]
 '''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!
 '''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' There.
 '''Chris:''' Fine.
 '''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' Apology accepted?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.
 '''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.
 '''Chris:''' I'm working on it!
 '''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!
 '''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!
 '''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!
 '''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?
 '''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!
 '''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.
 '''Chris:''' Hold on a second.
 '''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...
 '''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?
 '''Chris:''' I got something working.
 '''Max:''' What would that be?
 '''Chris:''' A mike.
 '''Max:''' So, it's working?
 '''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.
 '''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.

===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===
'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.
 '''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.
 '''Julie:''' Hi.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey!
 '''Julie:''' Um, Chris...
 '''Chris:''' Julie?
 '''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...
 '''Chris:''' Yes?
 '''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.
 '''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.
 '''Chris:''' C'mon, please?
 '''Julie:''' No. I can't.
 '''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.
 '''Julie:''' Why, what happened?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.
 '''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.
 '''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?
 '''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?
 '''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!
 '''Troll:''' Give him some time.
 '''Julie:''' Chris...
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.
 '''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...
 '''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been...
 '''BlueSpike:''' ...having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now—
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—
 '''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.
 '''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?
 '''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.
 '''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.
 '''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.
 '''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?
 '''Chris:''' I feel terrible.
 '''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?
 '''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?
 '''Clyde:''' What up?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever.
 '''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] a [[boyfriend-free girl]]? Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.
 '''Clyde:''' Hello, hello, Chris. On that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone. We were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.
 '''BlueSpike:''' There ''was'', but she died.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she's real— She actually is in Ohio, but...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris. About the wildfires I told you about, I truly was the one who started them.
 '''Clyde:''' Okay. Now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy. I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...
 '''Chris:''' I thought— I thought she— I thought...
 '''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' You just sound— I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up and let me talk to him. Shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want? Do you want your PSN back?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay. I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow, but it was all fake. It was all, all fake.
 '''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...
 '''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker Shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no ''Sonichu'' fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?
 '''Chris:''' I'm listening.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...
 '''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times. What is this, the ninth time so far?
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever. [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie. You disgust me...
 '''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account, you fucking dick!"
 '''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your— What's left of your fans, at least...
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not crying!
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.
 '''Chris:''' I am not!
 '''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike. You're a little too mean... Well, whatever.
 '''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris. I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?
 '''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also... Oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...
 '''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times... And you still believed...
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"
 '''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.
 '''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.
 '''Female Troll:''' Can I...stop the recording now?
 [''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|''Duke Nukem'']] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".'']
 '''Female Troll:''' Stop, stop, stop, stop... Can I stop recording?
 [''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?75fhxy3n9yc1662 MP3 of the audio.]
*[http://db.tt/iDXSR3LV Mirror of MP3]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aq9Lepe1xjs Youtube upload]
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]

File:SchuComic10P7.jpg

2014-12-21T23:52:25Z

Export A:

[[Category: Art from Sonichu 9]]

File:SchuComic10P7.jpg

2014-12-21T23:50:35Z

Export A: Export A uploaded a new version of "File:SchuComic10P7.jpg"

[[Category: Art from Sonichu 9]]

Yes, in order to show an actually desirable image of Layla for [[Reginald]] to fantasize about, Chris ''did'' just use an [[Ivy|actually skilled artist's]] uncredited work; why do you ask?

Lars Call

2014-12-21T16:18:17Z

Export A: Added Video to page

[[Image:Lars.jpg|thumb|Lars, with boat]]

{{quote|I be like... "Current age year-old man, seek- lookin' for an 18-to-current-age-year-old woman! Be my sweetheart and junk!" And they be- They misinterpret that, they be thinkin' I be lookin' just for the- Just for the booty call! But no, I ain't lookin' just for the booty call, I'm lookin' for the long run, the emotional attachments and everythaaang!|[[Chris]], talking like a [[niggo]]}}

{{quote|I want [[Jackie]] and I want to be able to keep my [[video games]].|[[Chris]], torn between two loves}}

The '''Lars Call''' was a ninety-minute phone conversation on 6 [[November 2010]] where Chris talked with [[Jackie]]'s [[Niggos|black]] [[JERKS|ex-boyfriend]] [[Lars]], discussing addictions, a parade he promised Jackie, what he would do for a woman, and boats. Chris got comfortable with [[Wikipedia:Ebonics|Ebonics]], and hilarity ensued. Near the end of the call, Lars mentions he's going to have [[sex]] with Jackie, and Chris completely misses what he just said as he hangs up the phone, once again proving how dense Chris really is.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Lars Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|sa0arS6afRw}}
| Stardate = 6 November 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Jackie]]; [[Lars]]
| Saga = [[Saga#Jackie_Saga_.28April_5.2C_2010_-_November_26.2C_2010.29|Jackie]]
}} </center>

==Summary==
* Jackie had an involuntary abortion, thanks to Lars.
* Lars got rid of his boats, Chris gets rid of his [[Lego|Legos]].
* Lars didn't finish school because people played [[Kick the Autistic|Kick the Nigga]].
* Lars doesn't understand [[autism]], after Chris's explanation, he thought it was [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]] and [[Ultra Sonichu|<s>Down Syndrome</s> Downtism]].
* Chris whines about [[trolls]], not getting a [[job]], and being called a [[homo]]. Lars hears him.
* Chris doesn't like when people say "[[gay]]" [[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#Transcript|as in stupid]], Lars doesn't like when people say [[Niggos|"nigga"]] [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|out of context.]]
* [[Sonichu]] (didn't see that coming), Chris incorporates IRL enemies into his [[comic]]. Lars tells him to continue the comic in order to conquer the trolls.
* Lars says Jackie is upset because she isn't an inspiration for Chris to do the comic, and he sometimes doesn't do what he tells her he will.
* Chris tells Lars he's a [[virgin]]; Lars says that explains his rage against the trolls.
* Chris rewrites the comic so he doesn't kill "[[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Bason Nigga]]".
* Jackie better not burn that casserole.
* Chris promised a parade for Alec to Jackie, Chris denies it, Lars has the [[Jackie_E-mails_20|e-mail proving he did]].
* Jackie initially broke up with Lars because he told her he'd lose the boats, and he didn't. Chris feels him. Chris is Lars's nigga.
* Chris is willing to give up [[the Moon]] and Mercury if he had it, for Jackie. He's really giving up video games, but he won't sell his "[[PS3|PS Triple]]".
* Lars spent $35,000 on six credit cards for boats. He won't let addiction rule his life anymore.
* Chris swears on the grave on his [[Aunt Corina]] he will not spend anymore on his [[PS3]] (at least it wasn't [[Patti]]).
* Lars spent nine months as a volunteer at a hospital, enjoying the sight of [[Bob|old white men]] dying.
* More bitching about [[trolls]].
* Lars and Chris talk about their criminal records, Lars makes trespassing sound bad ass.
* Chris apparently turns into a nigga himself as about halfway in and speaks in Ebonics (off and on) the remainder of the call.
* Chris would [[Death threats|shoot]] [[Michael Snyder]] if he had the chance. Michael was just looking for a reason to [[ban]] Chris.
* Lars gives Chris a scenario of someone breaking in. Chris says he's [[100_2278|strong]] and would kick their ass (but only if they hit first).
* Chris likes black people on [[TV]]. Lars gets mildly offended upon hearing how Chris likes ''Sanford & Son''. They both hold up their fists in black solidarity.
* The conversation goes back to Jackie, they wonder why Jackie is mad at Chris.
* Chris claims that he will make things right.
* Lars tells Chris that his [[dick]] is four inches of straight goodness.
* Lars burned his boats because he wants Jackie back and suggested that Chris burn his PS3 to get Jackie back.
* Lars thinks he has the upper hand over Chris in the competition over Jackie. He was known as "Ram-rod" in [[High School]].
* Chris talks about his [[Cherokee]] heritage. He's not a "casino nigga" and beats the stereotype that Native Americans have jobs.
* Lars respects Chris trying to win Jackie back, while Lars is "[[Hanky-panky|ramrodding]]" her.
* Chris talks about [[The MovingFoward videos|destroying his first PS3]], Lars questions why he got a second one. Chris says he needs it as a computer. Lars asks why he didn't get a computer instead.
* Lars tells Chris to improve himself whether Jackie stays with him or not.
* Jackie can't come to the phone, she's taking a massive shit, courtesy of [[Wikipedia:Taco Bell|Taco Bell]].
* Chris whines that making changes is [[Autism|too hard]].
* Lars says Chris is afraid of women. Chris denies it.
* Chris [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits himself.]]
* Chris didn't have [[Wikipedia:Taco Bell|Taco Bell]], he had a fish fillet for dinner.
* Lars lost his virginity at 8; he was scared, so he only made the bitch cum twice.
* Lars tells Chris if he loses the PSTriple, his ass will be kicked out on the street and Jackie will be at Chris's doorstep the following day.
* Lars concludes with the fist of solidarity, he will bang Jackie when she gets out of the bathroom.
* Chris promises [[Honest]]y to Lars, he wants Jackie AND [[video games]].
* Chris likes [[Fanta|orange soda]].
* Lars didn't know what [[Wikipedia:Kenan & Kel|''Kenan & Kel'']] or Nickelodeon was, he goes to fuck Jackie.
===Stats===
* The word "nigga" is used 185 times.
* "Shit" is used 554 times.
* "Yo" is used 46 times.

==Transcript==

===You Are Now About to Witness the Strength of Street Knowledge (0:01 - 7:00)===
'''Jackie:''' [''In shrill, forced enthusiasm''] Oh hi Chris, it's Jackie! How are you?
 '''Chris:''' ...Oh... Jackie... Hi.
 '''Jackie:''' Well I got your email!-
 '''Chris:''' Well- Yeah. Oh, uhhh. Yep. What's a... What's... a... [''sounds of frantic typing''] what's... a what's... uh, your response there?
 '''Jackie:''' Um, sorry I missed your- missed you last night, I just didn't know if you'd be around! Listen, I'm going to turn you over to Lars right now, and I'll be listening. So you-
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Jackie:''' -two boys play nice, ok?
 '''Chris:''' Um, ok.
 '''Jackie:''' Lars!
 '''Lars:''' YO! [[Women's rights|BITCH WHERE MAH DINNER AT?!]]
 '''Chris:''' ...hmm, hello?
 '''Lars:''' Yo!, yo-yo-yo. Who dis at?
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo dawg?
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo who did-did? Yo this be Lars and shit, who dis?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, this is Christian.
 '''Lars:''' Yo! yo, Christian C. How y'all doin' dawg?
 '''Chris:''' Um, I'm-fu- I'm fairing out. How are you?
 '''Lars:''' Doin' alright, nigga. Shit. Yo, I'll be honest with y'all dawg. I ain't wanna do this call and shit at first, y'know? You diggin' and shit? Bet y'all pro'lly felt the same way, and shit.
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' But then my-m, my girl Jackie, she be all like: "Bitch, you best be doin' this call! Lest I'll be all breakin' up you with y'all and shit." So I be like doin' the call and shit.
 '''Chris:''' ...
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dawg-
 '''Chris:''' ...Ye-
 '''Lars:''' -what you wanna talk about?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, well, uh... yeah for uh... well, for one thing, well, I know what you put- what you did do to Jackie a while back, you spike- you spiked her coffee and killed the unborn child.
 '''Lars:''' Yo yo yo yo yo, dog, yo dog. That my bad and shit, yeah. I'll own up to that shit, sure, shiiit. That's in the past and shit, dog. I own up to that shit, and that's in the past. And I own up to that shit. Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Okay- okay, but how did you own up to that?
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog, what you talkin' 'bout? I ain't do that shit no more. I made that shit up. Yo dog, what you talkin' 'bout? Shit be long gone, water over the bridge and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well, the fact remains that she was pregnant with your child, then she lost it.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, all got- I ain't ready to be no baby daddy and shit. Shit, yo, nigga get scared and shit, fuck. Y'all know what that be like and shit. Y'all ain't be no a-dult and shit, you know? Ain't ready to take on no a-dult responsiblities. Fuck. I done pour libations and shit for that baby, I tell ya what.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I done regret it and shit. You know? Shit happens. Shit be in the past, though and shit. I'm a new nigga, now. You dig, you feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear- I hear you.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, so I be burn no baby no baby fetus no more neither. I'm ready for baby now. I got a job and shit, I got rid of my stupid boats and shit too, damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I heard you burned those boats.
 '''Lars:''' Got rid of all of them boats. Not just my boats, neither. Got rid of boats, got rid of my expansion pass for boats, got rid of my paint kits for them boats, shit you know dog, I be goin' through my closet and shit, I got paint kit for boats I ain't even own, nigga. Man, sometimes a nigga just face his life and shit, when he ain't facin' it, he ain't realize what he got, 'til it's gone. Be like the song, and shit. You gots to get rid of all that shit, you feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I got boats in the closet, boats in the yard, boats in the living room, boats in the lawn, boats in my driveway and shit. Boats on the roof and shit. Shit be takin' over my house. Like a bad habit and shit, y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, y'all got- y'all got any [[Recycling|nasty habits]] and shit there Chris?
 '''Chris:''' N-nasty habits?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, you know, any boats and shit? Model [[Wikipedia:Planes, Trains and Automobiles|planes, and trains, and automobiles]] maybe? Anything that be weighing you down, and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah-
 '''Lars:''' We all got our demons and shit. You must got somethin', lay it on me, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Oh... okay, well I did have [[CWCville|a whole city]] made out of [[Lego]]s that I tore- I des- pretty much tore it down, and-
 '''Lars:''' Huh, y'all done got a city of [[Lego]]s and shit? Man, I feel you, that's gangsta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' How much 'fetti y'all get for all them Legos, how much money you get?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, nah I didn't get very- I didn't give no- I didn't get much money from... I did- there just a whole bunch- a whole bunch of pieces of bricks and whatnot and people are already on their way and most children already have their own bunches of Legos, and they're like they don't need it any more to call up their house and all that.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, I feel you. Take them Legos to the bank, get some Lego bills and shit. Man, I just took $30 worth of nickels to the bank this mornin'. Got myself some bills, I did. [[Wikipedia:United States twenty-dollar bill|Jackson]] and [[Wikipedia:United States ten-dollar bill|a Hamilton]] and shit, goin' to [[Wikipedia:Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits|Popeyes Chicken]] with that shit. Bet you feel that, right dog? Y'all ever been to Popeyes and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, no I cannot say I have sampled Popeyes-
 '''Lars:''' Dog, oh dog you missin' out, missin' out. Damn good chicken and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm sure it is, I have heard good things about Popeyes.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight a'ight a'ight, you feel me, you feel me, and I feel you and shit. Damn, nigga. Yo, yo, I be digressin' and shit, we gettin' off topic. We be talkin' 'bout yours and mines nasty habits and shit, what else do you got, dog? Lay it on me.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm...
 '''Lars:''' I feel all righteous and shit, gettin' rid of all my boats, feel like a new nigga and shit. Feel like a whole new day be startin' for me. You ever have a feelin' like that, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I have felt that way before.
 '''Lars:''' Tell me all about it, dog.

=== Slow Times at Manchester High (7:00 - 12:30)===
'''Chris:''' Well pretty much felt like- felt like a big time star and all that when I had a good number of [[gal-pals|friends]] back in high school. But then I had- then I graduated and had to leave [[Chesterfield County]] where I was going to [[high school]] and move back [[Ruckersville]]. And then it just, pretty much went downhill for me, and I didn't have too many friends.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog, I hear high school be fun and shit. Oh no, dropped out halfway through seventh grade and shit. That's a cross I had to bear and shit. Dayum.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Been tryin' to go to high school and shit, ain't no niggas in the school system be wantin' no nigga up in their classroom. They be playin' "[[Kick the Autistic|Kick the Nigga]]" and shit. Shit ain't gangsta, they be straight bustas and shit. Fuckin' niggas. Y'all know 'bout getting tormented and shit, ain't you? Tormented for your differences and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my [[autism]] and considerable [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-mindedness]], that has happened to me before.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, dog, au-austiss- wait, the fuck that shit be? D- au...
 '''Chris:''' Autism, it's a- uh, it's a slowness in the mind where, it just, uh, it basically inhibits social functions. Y'know, being able to socialize as well as normal people. You can look it up on [[Wikipedia]].
 '''Lars:''' Oh, y'all be a slow-in-the-mind and shit, then, huh? Like that [[Wikipedia:Down syndrome|Down syndrome]] and shit. My cousin got that shit. Ain't got no neck and shit. Fuckin' shit, nigga can't fit no shirts.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, well, it's not uh- it is not Down syssdrome, it's way different from Down syndrome, just look it up on Wikipedia, and it's [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].
 '''Lars:''' Be more like that [[Asperger's]] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Lars:''' I ain't know anyone with that Asperger's, I hear that's some shit. They be all up in them trains and shit. Maybe I should get tested for that shit, I have my boats and shit. I probably grew out of it though, got rid my boats, though.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So you got them Asperger's and shit, all right dog- all right. I hear you, I feel you. I feel you, yo, we all got our- we all got our differences, we all gots our liabilities.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What else you got dog? Yo dog, you- you seem like a nice nigga and shit. Man, I ain't think this call gonna be pleaseant and shit, but so far we be doin' good. I ain't know why Jackie be comin' back to me and shit, when she got you. Says she ain't happy with you though. Why we gotta be talkin'? Why Jackie havin' us do this shit? She ain't explain nothing to me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, she’s, uh-
 '''Lars:''' Man, yo, I love the bitch and shit, sometimes she treat me like a fuckin’ [[Wikipedia:House slave|house nigga]]. Shit, won’t-bitch won’t tell me nothin’.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear you. [[Barb|My-my mom]]-it happens between my mom and [[Bob|dad]]. It’s, uh, lack of communication and-yeah, shit like that.
 '''Lars:''' Feel that, feel that. Fifty percent of marriages in this country lead to divorce because of that shit. Now, I’m [[Niggos|a black man]], so I’m naturally afraid of marriage and shit, so that probably ain’t gonna affect me and [[Jackie]]. But still, shit ain’t right. Shit ain’t gangsta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear-
 '''Lars:''' Shit ain't [[Wikipedia:Cornbread|cornbread]].
 '''Chris:''' I hear that.
 '''Lars:''' So why Jackie be not happy with you and shit? I mean, y'all know why Jackie wasn't happy with me. I wanna know why Jackie ain’t happy with you. We got-we got’s to bond like true niggas.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well, uh, she and I, uh, we’ve had our, uh, our fights as well, but, uh, with my [[computer]] went, uh, went all on the fritz and I wasn’t able to get back out-to get back on, and it’s like, I can’t afford to get a new computer right now to, uh, replace-a new computer tower, and, uh, and we-and we haven’t been able to talk to each other through, uh, AIM and, uh, she’s kinda felt neglected on that. And, uh, also she requested me to upload-to make and upload videos to [[YouTube]] for her, which I have done, and, uh-
 '''Lars:''' A’ight, a’ight, I know about them videos and shit. I’ve been watching that shit. Man, I’ve been wondering what that shit all about, then I find out Jackie been asking y'all to do shit. Yo yo yo yo dawg, let me ask you a question and shit, though. Yo-
 '''Chris:''' Uh huh.
 '''Lars:''' You been doing these-You been doing these videos and shit. Why she be mad and shit? You be doing what she asks, right? You be doing everything-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' -she asks? (pause) Somethin’ about-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Somethin’ about some comic she was bitchin’ about the other day. I was like, “Bitch! Go make me my fuckin’ steak dinner, bitch!” But she just keep railing on about [[Book10Replacement|that fuckin’ comic video]]. I watched that comic video, you scribbled some shit, maybe ‘cause you ain’t colorin’ shit, I don’t know.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, uh-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie-Jackie like them colors. Yo, hell, I ain’t got to tell you she like colors. She like me. That’s all the color she needs. I guess she wanted more color from you, though.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well I mean, I recorded that video, I hadn't had a chance to color it in yet, but I had planned to color it in after that, and uh, and th- and I'll be taking the, uh video file and uploading to YouTube at the, uh, library. I just haven't been able to get out in my car lately.

===Turf Wars (12:30 - 16:00)===
'''Lars:''' I heard it be somethin' 'bout you pickin' fights with- with artisans and shit, other cartoonists? You be like, [[troll]]in' and shit. Startin' gang wars and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Turf wars? I come from the streets, I know what turf war be all about.
 '''Chris:''' Eh.
 '''Lars:''' Shit. Ain't no winners in that game. Everybody lose.
 (Pause)
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well it's uh, not really a turf war, it's- ah, but I guess it can be considered like that. It's a- I have- I have been havin' my fights and bouts against a- like, a Internet bullies, and cyberbullies. Trolls.
 '''Lars:''' What is-
 '''Chris:''' [''interjecting''] They just, uh- they just, uh- think they're breaking uh- I became like, a Internet celebr- Internet c-celebrity with my, uh, crea- my uh, my genius of [[Sonichu (comic)|my comic]], in my comics and whatnot. So yeah, they uh, just essentially torture me. They, uh- They- they- they- like, they- uh, really weigh me down. And plus, they, uh- like, called my, like, got my, they got overtime from between the hackings and they uh, pretend to be other people, and- and uh, and all that damn shit. It's, they uh- get a whole bunch of, uh [unintelligible]
 '''Lars:''' I feel you, dog. I feel ya.
 '''Chris:''' They get a whole bunch of footage from me and they just twist it and turn it the wrong way and just make my-and they just smear my once good name in the mud. Makes it very hard for me to get a job of my own with the background checks. Then-and they pretty much Google my-Google my name and all you get was, uh-all you get’s pretty much, other than the first, and their sole results is, uh, damn [[CWCki]] and uh, damn [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and that’s just a whole bunch of weigh-me-downs-
 '''Lars:''' I feel ya, I feel ya.
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] –bad about me.
 '''Lars:''' That fuckin’ man hold a nigga down. Shit, I’ve been living that shit, whole life and shit. Damn. Fuckin’ niggas tryin’ to hold a nigga down. Yo yo, yo-
 '''Chris:''' You know, Lars-
 '''Lars:''' Yo yo yo, let m-oh, no no, you go ahead, dawg. You go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Okay-
 '''Lars:''' You go on with your righteous self.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, they also misla-they also mislabel me as a [[homos]]exual when I am a straight man.
 '''Lars:''' Homosexual and shit? Damn. Like on the [[Wikipedia:Down-low (sexual slang)|DL]]?
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']
 '''Lars:''' That what they say?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah they be calling me- yeah, they be calling me gay. But I'm a- but I'm a straight man.
 '''Lars:''' Man, I know these niggas. Y'all like, they be all like men who have sex with men an' shit? They call themselves gay, but I'm like, nigga, you be gay if you be having sex with men. I mean, what that shit about? Fuckin' gay niggas, ain't wanna admit they gay. You know that gay shit, though, I think it's that, that macho shit. Ain't no black man want to admit to being a gay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Dawg.
 '''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] Yeah, yeah plus you know what also, you know along those lines what really ticks me off is when they-when they use the word "gay" when they really mean "stupid" or "retarded."
 '''Lars:''' Shit. All be like when niggas be using the word nigga an' shit. That be our word and shit, ain't no one got the right to use that shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You know how that feels 'an shit, it hurts me. Right here. Right fucking here.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' I be tappin' my chest, where my heart muscle is? You can't see it 'cause we on the phone, but that's what I be doin'. To enunciate my point. So.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' What you sayin' is, when people call you gay, that be hurting you the same way, 'cause "gay" be like your word. Just like "nigga" be like my word, an' shit. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Shit.
 '''Chris:''' Essentially, yeah, I know.

===The Alec Bason Nigga Parade (16:00 - 26:43)===
'''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, yo, dog, dog. Let me, let me go back, let me ax you. Ya'll say you be drawin' comics and shit, what kind of comics you draw, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ugh, it's uh, from a idea I had. Uh, in a nutshell it's essentially combining [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. Called him, uh, [[Sonichu]]. And that's all--he's like this, he actually goes on the adventures and whatnot, similar to Sonic the Hedgehog in one, he's got like electric powers and he can run fast and everything. They, and he hangs around, he hangs around, goes out with [[Rosechu|his girlfriend]] and uh, yeah, eventually they get married and uh, they have [[Sonee & Rosey|children]].
 '''Lars:''' Shit, be like [[Wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie comics]] and shit. Y'know, I always though Archie be [[Homos|gay]] an' shit. Fuckin' Archie.
 '''Chris:''' N-no-
 '''Lars:''' [[Wikipedia:Archie Bunker|Archie Bunker]] with his negativity, fuckin' callin' people nigger. Gooks. Swanks. Wanks. Negros. All of his [[Wikipedia:Jughead Jones|jughead]] remarks, shit. Fuckin' Archie. That be like what [[Sonichu (comic)|your comic]] is like, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean essentially, that would be what it would've been, but then I, then that, I kind of like lost track of when the trolls, the uh, the [[trolls]], [[Chris and English|the typos]], and then [[WeighIn|they weighed me, they weighed me down.]] And then they, then you know the expression, "too many cooks spoil the broth." Well, they used to get on my mind so much that they get, then I end up drawing them into my comic books, making them into villains, and yadda-yadda-yadda. They just, they just...and they just essentially just worsened my... most of my books. And then-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Originally-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered adulterous. Even some, even some-
 '''Lars:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Even some-
 '''Lars:''' I see.
 '''Chris:''' Even some [[nudes|naked]] things I had but I, I just up and did. You know.
 '''Lars:''' You ain't be drawing your comic because these, 'cause these white niggas what be hatin' on your work. They be drinkin' all that Haterade. That why you ain't be drawing. I see.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Aw shit, dog! That be why Jackie asked you to do the comic and shit! Shit, it all falls together now, the last puzzle piece in place. Cracka, you know if you stop that it means they win, right? Ya'll gots to get up on that comic and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I real, yeah, I really do need to get back to drawing more, drawing more p, drawing more comics and pages. But I just haven't been able to find the inspiration. They weighed me down so bad they just affe-, they just affected (?) me in the back of my mind and my subconscious.
 '''Lars:''' 'Em dog Jackie be telling me she thought she'd be your inspiration and shit. Ain't that the case and shit? What be goin' on then?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she, yeah, she did-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be all like...Jackie be all like "Aw shit, nigga!" That's what she said to me, she said "Aw shit, nigga! Why ain't Chris be drawin' no comic for me? Ain't I no inspiration and shit? Dayum!" And I'll be like "Damn, bitch! Go make me my steak dinner!" Bitch be ballin' and shit. Fuckin' smack a ho... shit keeps up. Why you ain't draw the comic and shit for her?
 '''Chris:''' Y-y-you can't, you can't exactly rush inspir- you can't exactly rush inspiration, for... uh... for one thing.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo! But ain't, ain't my bitch Jackie, ain't she give you the story and shit for this comic vidya?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she gave me the idea of, like uh, for uh, for the, for uh, one dude who originally was definitely not original part of the comic scene, but then he did his [[parody]] against me, and uh, in his comic he portrayed killing me and, they're like getting to war (?) go against me and uh, even, even agreeing with this, even agreeing with this guy who pretends, who uh, pretends to be me and... (sigh). Just more, whole bunch of more shit right there. Anyway, what, anyway what she wanted me to throw him a- she wanted me to throw like a parade in a, in a, in a... in the comic, in my comic scene. And you know, like, you know, I mean he did what he did to me in his comics and I took it literally. It's like, you know, he fuckin', he fuckin' just shot, he fuckin' just, a whole bunch of bullet wounds in one go on my, on my, on myself. And I ain't gonna throw him a parade on that, on that, on that scene and whatnot.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, I feel you angry an' shit, dog, I feel you furious an' shit. You furious at this nigga. An' I feel it. You know, dog-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be talkin' to me. Jackie be sayin', ain't the problem that you hate this nigga. Problem be, that you lie to her and tell her you gonna do it when you ain't mean to. What up with that, dog?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause)'' Well, I have told her that I was eh-I would not be giving him a parade but she just insisted on that and she just, uh, and I would, I would say that she just, kind of like, got in her mind that, she thought that was that-I was definitely going to do that, even though-
 '''Lars:''' My shoulder, Jackie.
 '''Chris:''' Told her-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, yo, yo dog, yo dog, my shoulder, Jackie. She be all like, she email you and ax you to do this video an' shit, an' then you email her back and say, "Yeah bitch, ain't no problem an' shit, I'll be doin' that." Ya'll ain't made no, no... no prov-ver-acations an' shit. Ya'll ain't made no provesations.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well, I mean that, I told her I would, that I would draw her the pages, but I did not tell her that I was going to throw him- throw him a parade in the pages because I had said that I was not giving him a fucking parade.
 '''Lars:''' She said she wanted a parade an' shit, and then you write back saying you were gonna do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' I mean I feel her anger. I feel her righteousness and shit. Lie of omission still be a fuckin' lie and shit. Ya'll dig, dog?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Man, y'all got anger and shit, and I feel that. I feel that, I really do and shit nigga, but y'all got to stand up to yo' woman and shit, damn! Woman be tellin' you to do shit, y'all ain't just be lyin' to her. You gots a problem wit' yo' woman, you ain't lie to her, then all you got's two problems. Ya dig?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' How often you get laid, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... I'm sorry, what was that?
 '''Lars:''' How often you get laid? ''[[China|Pussy]].''
 '''Chris:''' How often-
 '''Lars:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' How often do I get laid?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, when the last time you cut some trim and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Hm... I'm actually a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]].
 '''Lars:''' Aw, shit, dog. Explains that anger and shit. This be why you angry at them trolls.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah, among other things.
 '''Lars:''' Shit dog, see- See dog, you be lyin' to women and shit, they ain't like that. Man, you ain't wanna do what no woman tells you to do, you just tell her straight up to her face. Then you have her go make you a steak dinner and shit. But you ain't lie to her and shit. Shit ain't gangsta. Shit be straight busta.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did tell her straight- I did tell her straight up that I was not gonna be throwing that- I was not gonna be throwin' him a fuckin' parade. I was not gonna draw him in a parade.
 '''Lars:''' ''(Talking over each other)'' Yo dog, I be looking at printouts and shit. Y'all know us niggas don't be doin' too well on the Internet, Jackie be printin' out printouts and shit for me. Yo I be lookin' at printouts and shit. And...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' In the email, she said, "Hey Chris, why don't y'all do that parade video for that, Alec... Alec Bason... Nigga, whatever his name is. Alec Bason Nigga. And then you say, "Sure Jackie, I'll be on that shit!" Y'all ain't make not protestations. why ain't y'all say nothing then?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hm. Well-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all said you gonna do it. Ya'll not mean to do it. You feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, tommorow, to let you know, uh- This, it was essentially, in the replacement pages where I do not, uh, end up, I do not end up giving Alec a gory- and his crew, a gory demise, like I did originally. ''(Pause)'' I did not-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, bitch Jackie said to throw this nigga a parade. You say "a'ight, I'm a do that." Then you didn't. ''(Pause)'' You be lyin' to women and shit often, dog? This be why you still a virgin and shit?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sigh)''
 '''Lars:''' Smellin' me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' No- No, it's... ''(Sigh)'' Well... Wait a minute, ''(Sigh)'' My brain- I gotta catch up my brain, here. Mm.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight. I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause; some grunting heard while Chris catches up his brain)''
 '''Lars:''' ''(At Jackie:)'' Yo bitch don't burn that [[Wikipedia:Casserole|casserole]]! Fuckin' bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Lars:''' Hold- Hold on.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah, you still there?
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Yeah dog, I be here. I be wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Alright, well. Well, I do not mean to, I did not mean to lie to her, but I did tell her straight up that I did not- That I had no intention of throwing that... Of throwing that dude a parade.
 '''Lars:''' Nah dog, I be lookin' at the emails, she said to throw him a parade, you say you gonna do it. You ain't say "I ain't throwin' a parade."
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah well I told- Yeah I mean I told her I did not wanna throw him- throw him- throw him a parade.
 '''Lars:''' When you tell her this shit, I ain't see this shit. When you tell her you ain't throwin' a parade? I need some help and shit, dog, I ain't feelin' where you at.
 '''Chris:''' Well, maybe uh...
 '''Lars:''' Gots ourselves a... discommunication.
 '''Chris:''' I- Yeah... I think it was discommunication.
 '''Lars:''' No I mean between us and shit dog, I ain't feeling where you at. 'Cause I see the emails and shit, she say throw a parade for the nigga. You say a'ight. But you ain't mean a'ight.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I said- Well I said alright in drawing the replacement pages.
 '''Lars:''' You said a'ight to the whole email though.
 '''Chris:''' But I did not-
 '''Lars:''' You ain't pick out bits and pieces, and say yes to this, and no to that. That's why I'm- I be confused, I be confuzzled and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah uh-
===Fueling the Fire (26:43 - 28:30)===
'''Lars:''' Yo, yo, dog, let me relate a cautionary tale an' shit. Shit, shit happened way back in Jackie an' I first relationship and shit. Man, bitch be all like, "Lars, you best be gettin' rid of them boats, lest I bounce and shit," and I be like, "A'ight, a'ight dog, I'll be gettin' ridda my boats and shit, shorty. Shit, you'll see and shit. Damn!" Then the bitch was like, "A'ight, you be gettin' rid of them boats, I don't wanna see no boats here in forty-eight hours." I'll be like, "A'ight." I ain't mean to get ridda them boats. I just went out and bought mo' boats. Shit, bitch was all like, "Lars, you need to lose boats. Y'all be like, addicted and shit. You need to stop buyin' boats and shit." I be like, "A'ight" every fuckin' time. Every fuckin' time. I just payin' the bitch [[Wikipedia:Lip service|lip service]] and shit. Soon enough, whole fuckin' house fulla boats and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I ain't ever mean to get ridda them boats, I just keep buyin' more boats. Y'all ever had anything like that shit? Someone want you to get ridda somethin', you say "a'ight"? Then you don't, and you just keep gettin' more? Fuckin' addiction, and shit. Fueling the fire.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Be like slavery, fueling them flames of injustice and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Once you got that shit, can't stamp it out, and shit. Sheeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all feel me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you. Hm. Alright well-
 '''Lars:''' Who my nigga?
 '''Chris:''' Alright well, anyway-
 '''Lars:''' Who my nigga? Whoa, whoa, dog. Who my nigga? Ya'll be my nigga, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be feelin' me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I be feelin' ya.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Y'all be my nigga? Say it, dog. Say you my nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... I'll be yo nigga.

===Never Gonna Give You Up (28:30 - 34:25)===
'''Lars:''' Sheeeit. Dog be righteous and shit, up in here. Be all gangsta and shit. Nigga, I ain't expect this shit, y'all an me. We be homies and shit. Damn. I ain't know why Jackie wanna get rid a yo ass. That's what I'm tryin'a find out an' shit. 'Cause I'm confuzzled. Might be this lyin' and shit, maybe that be why she all mad at you an' shit. Might be somethin' else, I dunno. Anything else? What's goin' on there? ''(Pause)'' How much y'all love Jackie and shit?
 '''Chris:''' How mu- I- I love- I love- I care and love Jackie a lot.
 '''Lars:''' How much? How much- you love her more than what? Put it into quantintative terms and shit. ''(Pause)'' I'll be like-
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Lars:''' I'll be like- Every night, I be like, "Jackie, I love yo ass more'n the moon an' shit. I would throw away the moon an' shit, Death Star that shit! Fuck. Ain't need to tides an' shit. All I need's my Jackie." Feelin' me? Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What'd y'all give up for that bitch?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Well I mean, I'll give up- I mean I would give up most anything for... for Jackie and me to be together.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, she ever ask... ax you to be givin' up shit for her? ''(Pause)'' She ask me to give away my boats and shit. I be all like, refusin' an' shit, first time around. Shit be what burned our relationship. That and the whole fetus thing. Shit. Bitch ain't never gonna let me live that shit down. Be all harpin' on me, every time she serve me dinner and shit. Suckin' my dick, all I hear be like ''(Does impression of Jackie's dick-muffled voice)'' "Lars, why you kill my baby?" Fuckin' bitch. Yo, dog, I be digressin' and shit. Y'all my nigga, y'all gots to be cuttin' me off when I do that. Ten to wax philosophical and shit. My bad. My bad. Let's go back to that question and shit. What y'all givin' up for Jackie? ''(Pause)'' Thinka she like [[Wikipedia:Lent|Lent]] and shit, what you givin' up?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, If I had the moon I would give that up for her as well.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I feel ya. Be all... poetical. Metaphorical and shit. Poetaphorical. Shit be romance, all [[Wikipedia:Hallmark Cards|Hallmark]] greetin' cards and shit. Bitches love that. Bitches be slobberin' all up on yo balls and dick when they hear that shit. Damn! ''(Pause)'' Practical terms, though, what y'all givin up for her? Like, like the metaphorical, I be givin' up the moon for the bitch. I ain't own the moon and shit. I ain't got no [[Wikipedia:Death Star|Death Star]]. Ain't no [[Wikipedia:Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Empire]] gonna let no nigga in charge of a Death Star an' shit. Even that biggest galaxy nigga in the world, [[Wikipedia:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] and shit, turned out to be pasty fuckin' white dude underneath. Shit. [[Wikipedia:Lando Calrissian|Lando Calrissian]], fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Uncle Tom|Uncle Tom]] and shit. Sellin' out a nigga to the Empire.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' What y'all givin' up? I gave up my boats.
 '''Chris:''' I actually, uh...
 '''Lars:''' I burned them boats!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Ashes to ashes. Swords to plowsheds and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I tell you what, I'd be givin' up, uh... all other- I be givin' up, uh... The planet- The, uh planet closest to the Sun for Jackie. Mercury.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, nigga. Ain't that shit be all [[Wikipedia:Dwarf planet|dwarf planet]] and shit now? They be cuttin' three inches off that planet's [[dick]] an' shit? Heard that shit back in [[2006]]. Fuck.
 '''Chris:''' No, you're thinkin' about- You're thinkin' of [[Wikipedia:Pluto (dwarf planet)|Pluto]], the planet that is ''farthest'' away from the Sun, this is the planet ''closest'' to the Sun.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I see. I see. Yeah, Space be black an' shit, but don't let that confuzzle you an' shit. Ain't no nigga goin' up in space, I tell ya what. Fuckin'-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Man gonna keep a nigga down. Keep a nigga on the ground. Keep a nigga from flyin'. Keep a nigga from tryin'. Sheeeit. Got my finger on the trigger, niggas wonder why. Livin' in the city, it's do or die, nigga. Y'all feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' I know y'all feel me, y'all be my nigga an' shit. Who my nigga? Who my nigga, dog?
 '''Chris:''' I'm yo nigga.
 '''Lars:''' You're my nigga, dog. You're my nigga. A'ight, a'ight, a'ight, I feel you. Let's go back to the metaphorical, metafusical, question of the evening. Y'all be givin' up Mercury?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be givin up [[the Moon]]? Y'all be givin' up [[Wikipedia:Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres]] and shit? Fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Moons of Pluto|Nix and Hydra]], goddamn bullshit little moons. What else y'all givin' up? What practicalities and... reala-tala-calaties be you givin' up and shit? In the here and now, what be down here ain't no planet. What y'all givin' up for the bitch? ''(Pause)'' I would give up the Moon, and shit, and I'll give away Ceres, and [[Wikipedia:Proxima Centauri|Proxima Centauri]] and all that shit, but down here on the planet Earth, I be givin' away my boats and shit. Burnin' that shit. Put it to ash. Put them ashes on the mantle. Up on my fireplace and shit. Ain't got no ashes of my daddy, my daddy be fleein' me when I was a baby and shit. Ain't no black man can raise a baby, they all flee. So I ain't got my daddy's ashes. That ain't where he is. Y'all be my daddy for all I know. Shit. ''Man'', I be waxin' off again! You ever just wax off like that? Shit. Once you start, ya just can't stop. 'Til you pop. Fuckin' bullshit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Anyway dog, I be takin' up all the air time- The word time, dawg, you gots ta lay it down for me, what y'all givin' up for Jackie? I'll be shuttin' up now, I'll be shuttin' up now, y'all see your piece, y'all be righteous.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, the uh, the rea- In the reality...
 '''Lars:''' Right, dog.
 '''Chris:''' I'd be giving up my... video game time.

===The PS Triple Investment (34:25 - 48:15)===
'''Lars:''' Oh, y'all be gettin' rid a them vidya games and shit. Eh?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got rid of the, I got rid of a lot of video games I've been hoarding over the years.
 '''Lars:''' That [[PS3|PS Triple]] an' shit? Damn. Shit be like [[Chris and money|800 dollars]] and shit, right? Shit be like a money sink. I feel ya dog, be good you be gettin' ridda that shit. How much 'fetti you get for that shit? Y'sell that shit off. yeah?
 '''Chris:''' ''([[stress]]ful pause)'' No, I have not, no- I have not sold my... PlayStation 3. And it ha- and I have invested a lot ''into'' it. Ever since I had it.
 '''Lars:''' Invested and shit? Y'all be like playin' stocks and shit? What y'all talkin' 'bout, "investin'"?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it's just, you know... I downloaded a lot of stuff. On to it.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog, I be downloadin' a lotta boats and shit, too. Ain't see me keepin' no boats around, I be burnin' all my boats. Ain't no investment, be a curse and shit. Like a black hole. That be one a them astronomical things. Think [[Wikipedia:Pluto (dwarf planet)|Pluto]] gonna turn into a [[Wikipedia:Black hole|black hole]] 'cause it pissed off about bein' a [[Wikipedia:Dwarf planet|dwarf planet]]. Pluto be like, like a giant boat. Filled with (?) paint kits and shit. All that money.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be givin' up them vidya games. Whoa-whoa-wait, wait, nigga. Nigga, nigga, nigga, my nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all say you givin' up them vidya games, but y'all got no- Y'all got the PS Triple and shit, still.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's another thing, I-
 '''Lars:''' I be confuzzled.
 '''Chris:''' That's another thing that, uh, kinda ticks me- It kinda ticks me off a bit, uh, I do not- I do not like it when... When uh, when the trolls, have been- You know, they pretty much seem to have started the trend of calling the PlayStation 3 a... "PS Triple". [[Chris and Hypocrisy|And I just do not- I just- That just rubs me the wrong way, man.]]
 '''Lars:''' Shit, dog. Why y'all ain't like that and shit? Just be a box fulla toys and shit, why y'all be defendin' the name and shit? I mean I feel ya, wantin' to defend the name, defend the honor, defend the honor of a honest woman and shit? Man, I be all up on that shit. Wanna be up that poon tang, you gotta be defendin' that honor and shit. Man, like my bitch, little Cubby, he be sayin' "Bitch, yo bitch be all bitch and shit,"
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear ya.
 '''Lars:''' I be like, "I'm a pop yo ass."
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be standin'- I be standin' up for... I be standin' up for my woman too, you know, I defendin' her from any- from anybody that comes upon her. Yeah, look-
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be defendin' your PS Triple like it be a woman and shit? I be confuzzled and shit.
 '''Chris:''' The PS... The PS Triple no woman, it just, it's just a... dang material possession. And the- and, and uh, and Jackie being the wonderful woman she is, and the wonderful person, very s- best person there is, you know... She's a lot more important than a dang ol' video game console. ''(Pause)'' But still, you know, after I invested a whole lot in there over the- over that- over that... my time I had it, it's like you know, I ain't gonna get that back and I'm certainly not gonna be able to get ''[indecipherable]'' for it. Face value.
 '''Lars:''' Ain't y'all gonna get Jackie and shit though? Ain't Jackie be worth more than a PS Triple and shit? Jackie cook a mean steak dinner and shit. All the fixins. Throw some [[Wikipedia:Grits|grits]] on there. Some [[Wikipedia:Starburst (confectionery)|Starburst]]. Little [[Wikipedia:Grape soda|grape soda]] on the side. Mmm-mmm-mmm!
 '''Chris:''' Yep. I tell ya, If I can't, uh, If I can't sell my PS Triple, I tell ya something else, I tell you, another thing I would definitely get rid of for Jackie, I'd get rid of a whole bunch of the, uh... [[Transformers]] I got.
 '''Lars:''' Why can't y'all get ridda that PS Triple though, dog? I- I ain't be feelin' it, I ain't be understandin' and shit. Y'all got my mind twisted and turned, with these phrases. I know y'all ain't mean it and shit, but I ain't be feelin' it. I need y'all help, dog. I be slow and shit, I ain't be figuring it out. Why ain't y'all give up that PS Triple and shit, dog? Worked hook, line and sinker with my boats.
 '''Chris:''' I downl- Listen, I downloaded over 4000 dollars worth of content and... at face value it's not gonna get me back 4000 dollars.
 '''Lars:''' Shiiit, dog! Ain't about the money and shit. Shit be about gettin' rid of addictions and shit. Y'know I how much I drop on boats and shit? Forty-five thousand dollars! I got like, six credit cards for that shit. Y'know how hard it is for a black man to get one credit card, I got six! Six, nigga. That's how dedicated I was to them fuckin' boats. That's how- them boats was my life, nigga. Them boats was my life! Sheeit. But I burned them boats, ain't get no money for that shit. That money be ''gone'', nigga. I got debts to pay off and shit. But I be an honest nigga now. I ain't lettin' no addiction control me. Why you ain't get rid a that PS Triple? I be feelin' Jackie, like, that's what she want.
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I- Lemme just- Just let me talk, here.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all go ahead, dog. I'm listenin'.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Listen, I do not, I would not need to sell the console in order for me to not spend any more. I just- will just swear upon- Upon my [[Aunt Corrina]]'s grave. On that, and uh, my fam- On the life of myself and [[Barbara|my mom]] and [[Bob|my dad]]. Everybody in my family. And I will just not- I will not spend... Any- I will just not spend any more- ''[Audio gets fucked up here while Chris continues lying]'' -downloading for the P-
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, I hear ya.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Audio still messed up]''
 '''Lars:''' Ain't Jackie ask you to do that a while ago and shit? Ain't Jackie ask you to not spend on that a while ago, ain't that what she said? That what she be tellin' me. Ain't y'all still be spendin' and shit though?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, as a nigga that seen the worst of addictions, I gotta level wit' you, bro. Just ain't work that way, dog. Sheeeeeeit. Y'all go ahead, dog, y'all go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Look, I mean, it just- it just had to be, uh... one that I would have- I would have to able- I just would have to be able to show it to her in person, you know. I treat- I treat her right. I would treat her right in person, and I would not be th- My money would be going all to- All towards her, and... Not on anything new that goes on the, uh, PS Triple.
 '''Lars:''' So you ain't been buyin' games for, like... How long, [[Jackie]] ask you that shit like... Months ago, and shit, right? You ain't been buying no games for all that time?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' I ain't been- I ain't buying no game for about a month. Buying no new games.
 '''Lars:''' "About a month"?
 '''Chris:''' Ain't gonna... Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' This... This be any games and shit, this be just that... That, what the fuck, Jackie- ''(Yells at Jackie)'' Yo bitch, what you call that? That... "PSN" shit? Fuckin'... what that stand for, "PS Nigga" and shit? Sheeeit. Gonna be a lawsuit up there at Sony, with this bitch. Y'all be spendin' money just on that? You don't be buying games at the... [[Wikipedia:Costco|Costco]] and shit? Buyin' them hard copies? ''(Pause)'' Don't lie to me, dog, don't lie to me.
 '''Chris:''' A bunch- a bunch-
 '''Lars:''' Dog, you be my nigga an' shit? You be my nigga?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You be my nigga an' shit, don't be lyin' to me. Bros before hos, dog. We be tight, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' You be feelin', I be touchin'.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I ain't lyin'- I ain't lyin' to you. It's essentially, you know, the stuff I download from the PSN, there's no... uh, it- And the "N", by the way, it stands for "Network", "PlayStation Network".
 '''Lars:''' A'ight.
 '''Chris:''' But anyway, it's stuff that mostly- Stuff, mostly stuff that you just cannot f- You just cannot get on hard copy. There's no hard copy for mosta the stuff they got on there.
 '''Lars:''' But y'all still be buyin' shit. Y'all still be buyin' games on PSN.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah, y- Yeah, but, yeah it's like, uh- It's like, uh, world wide web, it's like, Internet thing, it's like... Alright. You- You know of [[IPods Down and Listen Up|iTunes]], right?
 '''Lars:''' "Internet"? Like the white folks' street corner and shit, yo dog I feel you. iTunes and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, iTunes, it-
 '''Lars:''' Be more like "WhiteTunes", with all that white color.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, iTunes or [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|Rhapsody]] or Napster. Well, point is, you know, it's... It's uh, you know-
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be spendin' money and shit on this [[PSN]].
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' But ain't Jackie not want you to be doin' that shit though?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I will- And I promise her that I would not do that, and I have not been... doing that. ''(Pause)'' For about a month now.
 '''Lars:''' Bitch be tellin' me she up on that PS Nigga, she be lookin' at y'all... Y'all [[Facebook]] on that nigga. Shit, I ain't know. I ain't know this Internet shit. Internet be like space, ain't no nigga gonna up on that Internet neither. Fuckin' Man keepin' us down. Anyway... sheeit. Bitch be tellin' me she all up on that PS Nigga and she check your... Your trophies, and your accolades, and shit. Nigga be gettin' all new trophies for new games and shit, all through the month.
 '''Chris:''' Actually those were new trophies for games I had already- I already owned.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all be... Y'all be havin' game you ain't played for months, but you still buyin' shit? I feel that, I feel that, I was like that with my boats and shit, I be buyin' boats... I ain't even take 'em in the tub for... six months and shit. Nigga like his bubble bath with boats, no? Some times I have my favorite boats, sometimes I have my less favorite boats, sometimes I have my not favorite boats at all, nigga. I ain't even like them boats. So you and me, we be in the same boat and shit, y'feel me? ''Sheeeeeeeeeeit.'' Dawg, we be tight and shit. Y'all be up in my grill and shit. Y'all be... up in my 'fetti. ''(Awkward Pause)''
 '''Chris:''' I hear that.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight, let me ax you then.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Lars:''' So Jackie, she be all bitchin' at you, she be all like, "Chris, I know you ain't be buyin' no boats, and... PSN nigga boats, and... PS Nigga games", and... she ain't want you buyin' none a that shit. A'ight? But then you go... you still gonna be playin' this shit. Yo bitch be all like, ain't want you, ain't want you playin' wit' yo boats and shit, yo PS boats. Shit be all addictive and shit, ya feel?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah... You have to forgive me for... things there, you kinda talk a little fast, and I'm just tryin' to- Just wanna make sure I'm able to understand you.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, a'ight. You take your time and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, we cool.
 '''Lars:''' Brovaries before ovaries, and shit. We cool. You take your time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You take your sweet time. [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah bu-
 '''Lars:''' So what y'all thinka that? You need a clarification, and shit? A bifurcation? Y'all got, y'all be feelin' me, y'all be feelin my question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh-
 '''Lars:''' So what y'all...
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not really sure what the question is, though.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, I be, I'll be rephrasin' with the past parsable and shit. So my bitch Jackie, she be all like, "Chris, I ain't want you plain' none a them games, now." You be gettin' games up on that PS Nigga. You be playin' them games all day and night. Sheeeeit, addiction be all "spiral of doom" and shit. Ain't about just the money. It's about the ''tiiiime'', nigga. 'Bout the ''effort'', nigga. All that time an effort, go in to the volunteerin' and shit. Work at the hospital. Be a fuckin' hospice nurse and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Oh-
 '''Lars:''' I did that shit for nine months. Fuckin' made me a new man and shit. Watch a buncha old white people die? Sheeeeit. Ain't nothing feel better than that. All them old slave-owners and [[Wikipedia:Sharecropper|sharecroppers]] be droppin' like flies, and here Lars be. Lars McNulty. Sheeeit. That shit feel good, nigga.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, by the way-
 '''Lars:''' Watchin' white people die.
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you're asking me, you're- you're asking me, uh, why I be spending all my extra time playing video games instead of like, you know, goin' out, uh... to volunteer work or some- shi- or stuff like that.
 '''Lars:''' True dat, dog, true dat. You be feelin' me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be feeling ya. Uh, but mostly, but mostly, uh, on the one point, it's like, I would not know where to look. And plus, you know, goin' out for a job, after all the, uh, after them trolls been weighing me down since November [[2007]], smearin' my name in the... [''Audio cuts out while Chris continues whining'']

===Fuck Tha Police (48:15 - 57:30)===
'''Lars:''' Sheeeeit. A'ight, a'ight, I feel ya. But, y'all know, dog, y'all know them background check and shit, just be for criminal shit. Now I know all about the criminality. I be a black man, I had a record since I was 8. Sheeit. Try'd to rob Starbucks with a [[Megatron pistol|fake gun]]. Nigga, y'all ever rob Starbucks, you best bring a real gun, nigga. Go whole hog on that shit. Ridin' that pagan justice into town and shit. Fuck. You spend any time in the joint, nigga?
 '''Chris:''' I ain't spent no time in no joint, man.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be lucky and shit, dog. No, no, y'all ain't be lucky and shit, y'all be white. That's what that shit is. A black man be like... turn 18, he go do two and a half in fuckin' C Block and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Lars:''' Taste a lotta maple syrup in that time. Anyway dog, I be- What I be sayin' to you and shit, that background check, they ain't gonna see no... No white niggas on the Internet makin' fun a your... Your [[Pokémon]] fanfiction and shit. Y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeahhh, it- I feel you but-
 '''Lars:''' They ain't be holdin' that against you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but they have a lot more than just the, making fun of the, uh... Pokémon fanfiction. They got a lot more than that, I mean they claim- I mean they claim me... They- They mis- The trolls, they be throwin' around those bad labels on me, like... a [[Pedofork|pedophile]].
 '''Lars:''' Nigga y'all be- Y'all be missin' my point though. Nigga, you ain't spend no time up in the joint. Your background check should be golden shit. Y'all ain't got no problems and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but th- Yeah. But also, th- I do have po- [[Chris and the law|I do have a police record on file, uh, for... Couple- For...]]
 '''Lars:''' Oh, word?
 '''Chris:''' Couple of offenses... Yeah, I had a couple of [[police]] records on file-
 '''Lars:''' You be fightin' The Man and shit? Sheeeeeit, tell me all about it, dog, what you be doin'?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Lars:''' You be takin' down po-po? Fuckin' 5-0 and shit? What you got? I'll swap stories with you, and shit. You go first, though.
 '''Chris:''' It be essentially, uh, just... Havin' a bad time and disagreements and what-not. With th- With this, uh- With [[Michael Snyder|this... dude]], down over at The GAMe- Over at [[The GAMe PLACe|The GAMe and HOBBY PLACe]]. He just be havin' his own gripe against me, and lookin' for a way- Lookin' for an excuse to ban me from his store, and then, and then... Then he did, so he banned me from the store, he... But he never wanted me to come back, and then I come back like about a year later askin' him- askin' if I can come back and he don't let me come back and... So I leave and then I come back next year and then, uh... Same thing again except worse, he act- he actually gives me- actually puts um... Officially on police record! Don't want- He don't want me... Trespassing on th- He don't want me, y'know, um, being anywhere near that place.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' He just- He just be all, afraid of me and shit like that. And plus also, I have like, uh, I've had like, uh, past- Past accusations of quote-unquote "soliciting", when I was out in my early days of my [[Sweetheart Search]] lookin' for- Lookin' for a woman of my own, be usin' a [[sign]], like you know, I be like... "Current age year-old man, seek- lookin' for an 18-to-current-age-year-old woman! Be my sweetheart and junk!" And they be- They misinterpret that, they be thinkin' I be lookin' just for the- Just for the [[Sex|booty call]]! But no, I ain't lookin' just for the booty call, I'm lookin' for the long run, the emotional attachments and everythaaang! They just misinterp- They just misunderstand me, and they handcuff me and everythang, they came- They handcuff me a couple a times, they drag me around, and [[Get-Tar Region|they even dogpile on me one time]], rub my head on the carpet, I be bleedin' out- I been bleedin' out left side of my forehead that day! Put me in the dang- Put me in the dang cop car and I get offended by the ambulaaaance, where they see that blood stain... Blood-soaked stain! Heaaaad wouuund, from that carpet burn on the left side of my forehead there!
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, nigga, a'ight, nigga. You get down wit' y'all bad self. Sheeeeit. Badass, you be stickin' it to 5-0 and shit! Tresspassin' and shit. I see, I feel ya, I smell ya, dog. Y'all be tresspassin', be shootin' it off to them white niggas. Shiiit. So y'all be tresspassin' on this here nigga's property to be stickin' it to that man and shit. That be what I feelin'? That be what you doin', dig?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeeeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, so you-
 '''Chris:''' You be feelin' me, dog.
 '''Lars:''' So you all go tresspassin' and shit, you know you ain't welcome and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be like, "Fuck dat shit, I own that store! I'm a go stick that place up and shit! I'm a fuckin' bust a cap in his ass!" Y'all be like, "I ain't gives no fuck about right and wrong and shit!" Nigga in the city, dog. Niggas wonder why.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be poppin- Yeah I be poppin' a- I'd be poppin' a cap in that- In that old- In that old [[Michael Snyder]] ass, I tell you what. It's like, if and I had me, if I had me a real life gun but I don't have a real life gun, though like you know, all I got is my, uh... All I got is my [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-mind]] wit, and uh, not mu- Not much else going on there. So it's like I don't really have much of an offense, as much as a defense, dog. And I, but-
 '''Lars:''' Lemme ax you-
 '''Chris:''' The only option there is just to split.
 '''Lars:''' Let me ax you, dog-
 '''Chris:''' 'Til another thing, until I can actually go on the offense.
 '''Lars:''' Let me ax you, dog. So you gonna take some nigga, and you gonna say like, "Bitch, this nigga be goin' down and shit." And you pick this, you pick this nigga, this nigga at this... This game store and shit. Why you pick this nigga to pick a fight with and shit?
 '''Chris:''' He- He- He picked-
 '''Lars:''' What about this nigga?
 '''Chris:''' He picked a fight with me first, he just had his own griefs, he just had his own griefs, his own gripes and scares against me. He be thinkin' I be like... He be thinkin' like y'know, I know... He be havin' his own weird accusations against me, probably thinkin' that I w- He probably... Damn troll [[Niggos|niggers]] who... Who damn throw the label of pedophile on me and damn ol' buncha shit offa him. He be throwin' all them labels on me and just lookin' for a damn excuse to kick me out of that store and ban me forever and the he- And then... And then he did find a damn excuse and it damn happened and they called tresspassin' and everthiiing.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all, y'all be goin' on property when you know you ain't- It be someone elses property and shit, and you be like, "Fuck that, I ain't give a shit about right and wrong! I ain't give a shit about what someone else wants! I ain't give a shit about no other nigga's property, and personal reliability, and safe-ety.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah besides which-
 '''Lars:''' And personal responsibility.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah besides which that- That ain't really his store, he's just rentin' on- He's just rentin' on that location! They just been rentin' there for a long time! It ain't really his-
 '''Lars:''' So he be payin' his rent and shit. So it be his store and shit, then. You be all like, "Fuck dat shit, I ain't give a shit 'bout no other nigga's property. I'm a take what I want and fuck all y'all niggas." Shit, dog, I be feelin' that. That be my gangsta life, in my teenage years, back when I be eight and shit. I be all like goin' up in the stores, and be like "What, nigga? What, you gonna kick me out cuz I stealin' shit? Cuz I be yellin' at people? Cuz I be screamin' my head off? Sheeeit. Fuck that shit, nigga! I do what I want!" Be some [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] up in here and shit. I feel ya, dog. You ain't gives no fucks.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Fuck that shit! Ain't give no shit if that be his store and what-not.
 '''Chris:''' Yeeeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, so you say you have a weakness with the offense, but you be good with the defense and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So let me ax you, some nigga come up in yo house and shit, and be all like, "Dude I wanna come up in here and shit." And y'all be like, "Shit, nigga. This be my house and shit, y'all ain't comin' up in here without no invitation and shit." And he be like, "''Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit'', nigga! I do what I want, I'm a call up on y'all house!" What ya'll gonna do? Some nigga come up in yo business.
 '''Chris:''' I ain't got no gun, I'll beat his ass, I'm pretty str- I'm very strong. I'd give him an ol' ''CLOP! CLOP! HIYA!''
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit, dog, I feel that.
 '''Chris:''' If that be the case... But I'd make sure that I be cool, dog, y'know, I'd make sure I started that, like y'know, he'd throw the first punch, and if he throw the first punch and I- Then I de-fennnnd, and I throw- And then I throw- Then I would punch back in defense!
 '''Lars:''' Then y'all be throwin' a trespassin' notice and shit on him. Ain't that the truth, nigga. Ain't y'all be, y'all be saltin' the wounds and shit. Puttin' a criminality record upon this nigga. Ain't that what y'all gon' do, dog. Sheeeit. Now I ain't never filed no trespassin' notice on any nigga what started shit with me. See I be a black man and shit, so the police, if you ever call the police when you a black man? They come and shoot your ass. They ain't givin' no fucks. You be white and shit. You can use the system against the system and shit. Y'all see what I mean and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeeeah. I hear ya.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah. Say yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Whole buncha damn- Whole buncha the damn racism that they been got goin' on, but I ain't like that. I be respec- I have respect for my black man. And I have respect for you, man, 'cause we cool.

===One Big Gray Nigga (57:30 - 1:04:30) ===
'''Lars:''' Y'all be feelin' me, y'all my nigga and shit, dog. Sheeeeit. Nigga be Prime Time up in here, dog. Shit. Fuck. Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and in fact I enjoy- I the, uh, comedies- I enjoy the TV shows I get from the... From the black man, including [[Wikipedia:The Jeffersons|''The Jeffersons'']], and... [[Wikipedia:Bill Cosby|Bill Cosby]], and... [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|''Sanford and Son'']], all a' them. All them-
 '''Lars:''' ''Sanford and Son''???! Bitch, I know you ain't bring up ''Sanford and Son'', fuckin' sharecropper shit. Goddamn [[Wikipedia:Uncle Tom|Uncle Tom]] and shit. Sheeeit. Traitor to his race and shit, dog. All that spoon jockey [''?''] shit, [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]]... [[Wikipedia:Bamboozled|''Bamboozled'']] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' I-
 '''Lars:''' All I see is sleepin' (?), that's what all that shit be. Fuck that shit, stereotypin' a nigga in a bad light and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well, man I-
 '''Lars:''' Us niggas, we already got our trouble with the bad light and shit, 'cause we be all dark and shit. Ain't no light what can shine a good light on our dark skin and shit. Then you got the TV shows. Then you got the [[Wikipedia:HBO|H-B-O]] and shit. Fuckin' shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well man, I don't mean, I- Yeah I don't mean to jump no jive, man, I just be givin' a few examples of some of the shows I see. But I watch- I watch other shows too, where they- where they make GOOD examples of the- Of the black man and the black woman.
 '''Lars:''' Four hundred years, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Four hundred years of opression.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, know what I'm doin'? I'm holdin' up my fist in solidarity. Yo, nigga, hold up you fist for me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' You holdin' up yo fist, dog? Hope y'all ain't smilin' and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I'm holdin' up my fist, man.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all ain't be smilin' and shit, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Niggas, we can't be smilin'. That takes away... the gravitas of what we can do. See-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be holdin'- I be holdin' up my f- I be holdin' up my fist in respect, dog. I-
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog. Yo, dog, I feel you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hold it in respect.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight.
 '''Chris:''' We cool.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, where all this shit come from? We be bulin' our- our ''velocity'' toward ''ferocity'' and toward ''audacity'' of hope and change and chope and shit. Fuckin' Big Bama's House up in here. A black nigga and a white nigga be mixin' and matchin', make ourselves one big gray nigga and shit. See what I doin', dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Fuckin' bridgin' the gaps of... Of ''inequality'', and ine- ''inequity'', and... ''ine-quali-equity'', and shit. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, dog, this shit be all about Jackie and shit, though, dog. Jackie be all like, glarin' daggers at me and shit. I be like, "Bitch, only daggers I wanna see from you are those two daggers on yo' chest and shit, now take off your top while you be makin' me my steak dinner!" Bitch be all like, "Sheeeit, I burned myself last time I do that, nigga. Y'all want burn scars on this body?" I be like "Hell no, dog, you already got that [[Wikipedia:Caesarean section|C-section]] scar from where I aborted that baby!" Sheeeit, bitch all scarred up and used up already. So let's get back to Jackie and shit. Now, Jackie ain't be happy wit' y'all and shit. And Jackie ain't sure if she be happy wit' me and shit. So we gots to figure out, and numerate, and enunciate exactly why the ''posivericating'' is happenin' with this shit. Why the bitch be mad at you, and why the bitch be mad at me? We figure this out, dog, we figure this out, nigga. Brovaries before ovaries, dawg, you feelin'?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel ya.
 '''Lars:''' So, bitch be all, like, you be lyin' to her and shit. And I feel that. I feel why she pissed about that shit. And as a advice, and... cautionary to you: Y'all ain't be lyin' to no bitch. Y'all can smack a bitch, y'all can punt a bitch, y'all be like "Bitch, I ain't doin' that shit" all up in her face and shit, but y'all ain't be lyin' to a bitch. 'Cause then the shit roll downhill. Shit be like a Hydra and shit, you cut one head off that bitch, two head grow back, you be lyin' to her. They catch you on that shit, they always do, nigga. Indeed! Sheeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' So, bitch be mad cuz you be lyin' to her. And bitch be mad cuz you ain't gettin' rid a that addiction and shit, y'all feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I feel ya, I tell you what, I- I'll make it right, I will make this right with Jackie, I tell you what, you tell her this from me too and I- and I'll promise it to you too, man, cuz we cool. I'll draw a parade for [[Alec]], and I'll make it like, you know, he was found innocent, like she wanted. I'll fix the pages and do it right for her.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit.
 '''Chris:''' I'll take care of that like, you know, within- within the next few days, and vid- and it'll be up, all colored and everything, be uploaded.
 '''Lars:''' Well shit, dog.
 '''Chris:''' I'll take care of that for her.
 '''Lars:''' Well shit, dog, shit, see now in the interest of camaraderie, and... niggaraderie, and all that shit. In the interest of all that shit, this gray nigga we be buildin', I gots to be honest wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Also, in the interest of not bein' hypocrital, and hippocratical, I ain't takin' no [[Wikipedia:Hippocratic Oath|Hippiocratical Oath]] and shit. Because I be tellin' you not to be lyin' to no bitches, so I ain't can't be lyin' to you and shit. Y'all fell me, dog? I gots to be honest wit' you.
 '''Chris:''' I feel you. Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, so, in the interest of honesty and total veracity, I must tell you that I am not a neutral party and shit. See, I burned my boats and shit 'cause I want Jackie back, dog. See? Bitch be all like, all up slobberin' on my dick and balls now, shit. Damn! See, I ain't be finna' gettin' ridda' my bitch, and shit. She be all like, ridin' my dick. She be all like, givin' me the oral play and shit. Fuckin' tongue action, finger play, y'all know that shit, sheeeeit. And the bitch be makin' me my steak dinner, 'cause I burned them boats. So, I ain't finna' be gettin' ridda' this bitch. I got a good bitch goin' here, y'all feel me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all might wanna try winnin' Jackie back. I wish y'all best luck in the world. Cuz see, a'ight, honestly, veracitously, I gots to admit to you, I do think, yo, we are bros, but we still be competin', you dig?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' And I do feel like I have the advantage on you. Cuz my dick be all ''four inches'' a straight goodness and shit. Fuckin' straight as a ramrod and shit! That's what call me in high school when I be ramroddin' bitches, they call me "Ramrod". Better than "nigger". Better than "[[Wikipedia:Jim (Huckleberry Finn)|Nigger Jim]]," that's what that shit they be callin' me, I be like "My name ain't Jim! Call me "Nigga Lars" and shit!" "Nigga Lars"? That shit fine. "Nigga McNulty"? That shit be fine too, but they call me "Nigger Jim"! Who da fuck this "Nigga Jim" be? I ain't know... sheeeit.
 '''Chris:''' That's- I tell ya, that's cool man, I praise you for being able to bang all them hos back in the high school days, I tell you what, I was [[naïve]] on the [[dating]] subject back in high school, I didn't even think about it, I mean I shoulda ask w- I shoulda asked a woman, I shoulda banged my own share of hos back in the day, but I didn't dawwwg, I just did not think of it! I was really slow, and I ev- and I even had a girl- I even had a girl crush back then. But then she done left me, she was out da- she was out dating with somebody else behind my back, I didn't even know about it. But she and I, we were tight!

===The Trail of Tears (1:04:30 - 107:50) ===
'''Lars:''' Shee-iiiiiiiiiiiiiit, dog! So what y'all gonna do to win Jackie heart back and shit? Y'all gonna burn that PS Triple and shit. See, see I'ma feelin' that, because that seem like, like the equalizer, and the numerizer and shit, that you all be pullin' to one-up my burnin' my boats and shit. See I be burnin' my addiction, y'all gots to burn your addiction too. Y'all ain't gots to do it literally. I know white people be afraid of fire and shit, I know white people fear fire. See us black folk, we like fire, 'cause we all be like livin' tribal in the Unga Bungas, in Africa and shit. We be usin' fire to keep tigers away and shit! Tigers, man, damn. Tigers be racists and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well I feel you, man. I'm part [[Cherokee]].
 '''Lars:''' So, y'all got- Oh, dog, y'all part Cherokee? Y'all be part a them-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' Them red niggas and shit? Sheeeit, I feel that, dog, I ain't know that about you. Sheeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Wikipedia:Trail of Tears|Trail of Tears]] is in my history.
 '''Lars:''' [''talking over Chris''] What [[Wikipedia:Native American gaming|casino]] you from?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, all them Red Niggas, they be up in them casinos and shit. Ain't that right, dog? What casino you from? From that casino tribe-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah sound like a-
 '''Lars:''' From the Blackjack tribe? Whitejack tribe? The... Poker tribe? The Hold 'Em tribe? You from them-
 '''Chris:''' That just-
 '''Lars:''' Ain't got no tribes, y'all feelin' what I'm gettin' at.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I fe- Yeah I feel you, man, that's a- That's just a dang old stereotype, I'm not like one- I am not a Casino Ownah. I ain't no rich man. I mean, I di- I mean-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be unemployed and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all ain't be no Casino Nigga and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I ain't no Casi- I- I ain't no Casino Nigga. I mean, we be-
 '''Lars:''' See-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my background, we be of the real- We be of the real Cherokee. From the Trail of Tears and all that. That's from my history.
 '''Lars:''' See dog, this be a perfect example of the injustice and inservitude and ingratuity of American history and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Lars:''' See, the red niggas, they be all like, the casino niggas and shit. And then, you come along, and you ain't be... You ain't be havin' no job in no casino, you ain't be havin' no job and shit. You all just be, sittin' on your couch and shit, jobless. And that totally defies the stereotype of the common red nigga, see? So them sterotypes, they be bullshit, 'cause everyone knows your red niggas, they all be hard-workin' and [[Alcohol|sober]] and shit. Ain't no stereotypes say otherwise. I hear there is, I'll eat my hat I tell you what. Sheeeeit. Fuck. Anyway, dog, where we at- I be waxin philosophimorical again. Sheeit. We be talkin 'bout- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, dog, it comin' back to me. What y'all gonna be doin' to win Jackie, y'all gonna be ''metaphorically'' burnin' your PS Triple and shit. That be right, dog? Is that what y'all gonna do? I be wishin you luck, dog, I be wishin' you luck. I be wishin' you luck and shit, man. Y'know, I'll be ramroddin' Jackie every night and every day, but I respect you, like my nigga. You're my bro and shit. And I want you to get what you deserve and shit. You feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel ya.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all gonna be gettin' rid a that PS Triple and shit. [''long pause'']

===A Tale of Two PS Triples (1:07:50 - 1:17:45)===
'''Chris:''' Yeah [[Slow-in-the-minds|my mind be slow]]] and I be uncertain of... everything here. And I definitely... I definitely feel ya and I'm not gonna say that I'm better than you, I'm not gonna say no- I'm not gonna say that. I mean you be- I mean you are- You be a big man, you burned all your boats, dog. I tell you what. But I mean- I spend my mo- I spend my money, I ain't gonna get that much back. I ain't gonna- I ain't gonna just kill it all by burning the dang PS3 because I already di- I pretty much essentially did that. By, uh... Like, [[The MovingFoward videos|pretty much dismantling the previous one I had]], [[ItIsFinished.MOV|and then just running it over]] with [[Son-Chu|my car]], there be videos on the [[YouTube]] about that.
 '''Lars:''' Yo, yo, dog, I saw that shit, you just- You destructicated your PS Triple, and then you get a new one back like a day later and shit. Why y'all go get a new PS Triple and shit, dog? Why destroy it in the first place?
 '''Chris:''' I tried to destroy it, dog, because... Them tr- Because, them trolls, and Jackie knew about it as well, they be offering NINE THOUSAND dollars for footage of the destruction of that PS Triple. And my- And Jackie thought like, you know, I give them th- I give them the footage and the real deal- I give them the real deal footage and what-not, they give- They, the trolls, they- THE troll, he be givin' me back the- He be givin' me that money, I be buyin' me a new PS Triple, she be cool with that, but then it don't happen, he- He fall back on his word, he don't do it, even though there were plans of meetings and what-not, it didn't happen, there was no money! I was-
 '''Lars:''' Where y'all get that money then? If there be no money, where y'all get that new PS Triple and shit?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that be from my-
 '''Lars:''' I know all white folks be rich and shit, like at least moderately so and shit, but shiiit, you got that kinda cash around, you got that 'fetti? Where you get the money to buy that second PS Triple? That be like yo' Double PS Triple. Or yo' PS Double-Triple, if you will. Sheeeit. PS Triple-Double and shit. Where y'all get the money for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that be where I sold the, uh, past- The older game consoles that I've hoarded over the years.
 '''Lars:''' So y'all go and destroy yo' PS Triple... Then like a day later y'all go and sell like every other game you got... So you can buy back... A PS Triple? [''pause''] Shit ain't gangsta, dog, why you be doin' that?
 '''Chris:''' It does a lot more than games, dog! Does movies, does music, does pictures! Does the Internet! I mean pretty much at this time, the only way that I'd be able to access my e-mail, and send and receive, from Jackie and everybody el- From everybody.
 '''Lars:''' Why ain't y'all buy a new computer?
 '''Chris:''' Because damn computer expensive. I mean if I had known that was gonna happen I-
 '''Lars:''' PS Triple be expensive, dog!
 '''Chris:''' If I had known that was gonna have happened... I mean it happened at months- It happened- Just happened a month before- A whole month before my computer decided to go and do what it did to me, and become practically unusable and considerably deaaaaad.
 '''Lars:''' Yo dog, ain't y'all computer be all broken and shit for a long time, though? Ain't you know you need a replacement and shit?
 '''Chris:''' No, because-
 '''Lars:''' Jackie be tellin' me that she heard some... Some call where you talked to that Alec Benson Nigga guy. I don't know this guy. You talked to him, and he be askin' you why you ain't do somethin' with your computer. I ain't know what. Why you ain't interneting or somethin'. Us black folk, we ain't know this Internet. He ask you that, why you ain't doin' this, and you said your computer be busted and shit. You tell him the same thing you tell Jackie like a year later. Why you ain't replace the computer in all that time, though? Y'all know the computer be busted, but y'all go and buy a PS Triple.
 '''Chris:''' Because the computer was working for me. It wasn't as busted as it was- As it had become a month later.
 '''Lars:''' But y'all didn't think ahead and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all knew the computer was on its last legs and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my- Yeah, my bad, I did not think ahead. I thought things'd be cool, but then it turned out they weren't. It... Damn whole buncha twist of fate and everything. Be all up my ass.
 '''Lars:''' Nigga, nigga, nigga, let me give you a metaphorical illusion, if I will, if I may, if you will.
 '''Chris:''' It's cool.
 '''Lars:''' Now, picture your computer like... Like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga and shit. A'ight, now your computer be like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga. You know what kinda life expectancy a twenty-nine-year-old have on the streets? Zero point zero-zero-zero-four percent, to the power of twelve, to the oneth power. That shit be low and shit. So your computer, in a metaphorical sense, be like a nigga who be facin' his be three-oh and shit. And that nigga gonna get capped and shit, dog! Sheeeeeit. Ain't gonna be no fake gun bringin' up in the Starbucks next time. Nigga gonna get capped. Streets be a lottery and shit, dog. So that computer, y'all know that computer be like a twenty-nine-year-old nigga. See, that computer be functionating and pre-vericating and shit. Just like that twenty-nine-year-old nigga be, in the prime of his life with them ripplin' muscles and shit. But a cap gonna come outta mid air, and shot yo' fuckin' computer in the back of the head when he in line at the [[Wikipedia:Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits|Popeye's Chicken]]. And that be all she wrote, nigga. That be all she wrote. Ain't no [[Wikipedia:Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman|Dr. Quinn]] gonna save this nigga up in here, I tell ya what. Sheeeeeit. So that computer be on its last life, and y'all, y'all know that even though it fuctionin' fine today, that computer get a cap in its ass tomorrow. God gonna fire a cap in that computer's ass. And y'all be knowin' that, but y'all ain't replacin' that, but then y'all PS Triple die, because you killed it. You be murderin' that PS Triple, you be murderin' it in cold blood, like, like it be a nigga what wronged you, what didn't pay you your drug money and shit. So you kill that PS Triple, and then you all go and buy a new PS Triple the next day. But you got your computer here, which need to be replaced, your computer which you use to talk to Jackie. But you can't talk to Jackie no more. You just play your games. Y'all be feelin' me, dog?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I be feelin' ya.
 '''Lars:''' So you see, dog, see Jackie be mad because y'all- Y'all be takin' playin' vidya games over talkin' to a real life woman. Sheeeit. I feel her pain and shit. I feel her commissary and commissaratin' and shit. Ain't no PS Triple what got no poontang, I tell ya what. Sheeeeeeeit. Damn! So why y'all... Why y'all pick a PS Triple, over my Jackie Triple? Why y'all be doin' that?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Well... ''(Pause for stress)'' Now look, okay dog, I can- Uh... I will still be able to talk to Jacke through the email with the PS Triple, anyway... With the- AIM, uh... Anyway, I- Anyway, I be gettin' a new computer soon enough, and I be back to- I'll be able to talk to Jackie through AIM if, y'know, she'd be willing to.
 '''Lars:''' But lemme ax you, dog. Now, your PS Triple be gone, and "soon enough" means, like, a day. But, your computer, you means of communication with Jackie and shit, that be gone, but "soon enough", that amount to like months and shit. That be like the whole trimester of a pregnancy what pass by and shit. Shit, I ain't even let this much time pass by before I evacuated that fetus in her belly. Sheeeeeeeit. That be a bigger decision than any PS Triple, I tell you what.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hmm...
 '''Lars:''' Why y'all go and replace the PS Triple, even though Jackie don't want you to have that addiction?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' It's an addiction that I will be able to... get over easily enough... when I actually have the woman nearby me. Why-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be-
 '''Chris:''' If I- Yeah, you know, I be havin' me- I'll be havin' the woman next to me, and I'd be treatin' her right, I'd be investing more time into her... Right next to me, instead of bein' over the Internet, because I ain't got no power over the Internet, really, Internet just don't work, I- I'm scared to go on the Internet, really, because of the damn trolls, it's real life and- It's real life or bust for me, dog.
 '''Lars:''' But... But dog, okay, dog, I be feelin' that. Them Internets, they be a scary place and shit, especially for a nigga. Sheeeeit. Ain't no fourth dimension and shit up on that Internet what no nigga like myself gonna walk up into, you feelin' me? Sheeit. Shit like a minefield and shit. Damn, dog. But Jackie, see, Jackie, she be all like, "Chris, I know you know I want you gettin' rid a that PS Triple and shit. Shit be like a black hole of addiction and shit, suckin' up your life." And see, what I don't get is why y'all ain't gettin' rid a that PS Triple, because that shit is no good for you. And you gettin' rid a that shit, even if Jackie ain't exist and shit, even if Jackie ain't up on my dick and shit, then you get rid of that PS Triple... You a born-again man. You a new man for gettin' rid a that shit. See, I burned my boats and shit before I even called Jackie, because I knew even if Jackie be all rejectin' me and shit, I'd be a new man for gettin' ridda my addiction. I be a strong man and shit. Show me your strength, nigga. Y'all be feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' Word, dawg. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

===Downtism (1:17:45 - 1:23:05)===
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Uhh, alright listen, we be havin' a cool conversation, it's been good, um... Let me, uh, talk- Let me talk to Jackie for a little while.
 '''Lars:''' Let's see if that bitch be around. ''(Pretends to walk around)'' Yo bitch! Bitch, where you be at?! Now hold on, dog. Sheeeeit, where that bitch at? Hold on... Checkin' the kitchen and shit. Fuck, meatloaf only half-done and shit. Bitch can't even make a meatloaf and shit and steak and shit at the same time? Damn. Used up bitch, poontang and shit. What the- oh, the fuck that smell be? Aw, fuck- Bitch, I told you not to go to that [[Taco Bell]] and shit no more! Shit ain't gangsta! Sheeeit. ''(Back to Chris)'' Bitch be all like, makin' number two and shit right now, she ain't comin' out for a whiiile, let me tell ya that shit.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-ohhhh.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit, dawg.
 '''Chris:''' That be- I hear you.
 '''Lars:''' See now dog, y'all got to feel my pain and shit. See y'all just be hearin' about it, I gots to smell it and shit. Damn!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear ya- I get it, I- I can- I hear you, be all-
 '''Lars:''' Y'all know how strong the sense of smell on a nigga is? Y'all be a white nigga and shit, I be a black nigga. See us wide nostrils, we smell like three times what you smell and shit. See, my nostrils, that be like my PS Triple because it's triple the smell power of your... Your thin, white nostrils. Shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I hear you, dog, I know what- I know what crap smells like and how it comes out. ''(Clears throat)'' Excuse me.
 '''Lars:''' So why y'all ain't gonna get rid a that PS Triple for Jackie and shit? That be, that be my... confuzzlation and shit. ''(Pause)'' See, dog, y'all be like... Lemme put it how I see it, and then I'll wait for yo' responsification. See, all I see, is y'all be saying that y'all ain't gettin' rid a that PS Triple 'til Jackie be by your side and shit. See y'all be wantin' Jackie to be like, watchin' you, and to be like, houndin' you, and to ''substitutionalize'' for that PS Triple and shit. But y'all ain't wanna be gettin' rid a that shit just for yo' own damn self. ''(Pause)'' You feelin' me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog. Righteous. Righteous and shit. See Jackie, Jackie be feelin' all hurt and shit 'cause y'all ain't wanna improve yourself. Y'all know how fleetin' life is and shit, nigga? Life be fleetin' and shit, even for a white nigga. White nigga can expect to live past 30. Black man can't, but a white man can.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah. ''(Pause)''
 '''Lars:''' So why y'all ain't improvin' yourself, dog? ''(Pause)''
 '''Chris:''' To be honest, I- I really- To be honest... I just don't know. ''(Pause)'' It's pretty much, you know, I had my- My mind is so slow, and... It be- I just be fear of change, and... It just hard- It's just hard for- It's just really hard for me and my... Mental- And my mental capacity to... To go through a whole bunch of change so quickly.
 '''Lars:''' Ah, I see, cuz a that [[Autism|Downtism]] and shit.
 '''Chris:''' No it-
 '''Lars:''' I feel you, dog, I feel you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh-
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' The- It- Not Down syndrome, ''autism''.
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, the Downtism. That be what I- Yeah. Shit. Anyway, dog, so what y'all sayin' is, ya got ya vidya games, and Jackie, she be like a woman, with the poontang and shit, and a meatloaf and steak dinner, and y'all be afraid of that. Y'all stick wit' your video games, cuz that all ain't makes you afraid like a woman do.
 '''Chris:''' What- NO. I'm not- I am not afraid of a- I am not afraid of a woman.
 '''Lars:''' Y'all be like, y'all ain't wanna give up PS Triple for a woman though. ''(Awkward pause)''
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chris grunts. It's safe to speculate that he has shit himself by this point.)''
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sigh)'', lemme think. ''(Chris thinks for like 30 seconds)''
 '''Lars:''' Nigga you gruntin' or some shit. Shit, dog, y'all be at Taco Bell and shit too, like my Jackie?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Umm... No, I- I did not go to Taco Bell today.
 '''Lars:''' Shit, what you eat, dog?
 '''Chris:''' I had- I had me a- I had me a [[McDonald's|fish fillet]] tonight.
 '''Lars:''' Shit... ain't no nigga be eatin' no fish. Y'all know us niggas be afraid of water and shit. Why y'all be gruntin', dog? Shit not be settlin' in your stomach and shit?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Hm. ''(Long pause)'' I'unno.

===Remember Kenan & Kel? That was a fun show. (1:23:05 - 1:28:08)===
'''Lars:''' So dog, a'ight, a'ight, let's get back, let's get back. Why y'all... Y'all say you ain't afraid of no woman, and y'all want a woman, but... But yo' actions, and even what you just say to me now, show that you want a vidya game more than a woman. I GUESS I feel that shit, y'know what- I lost my virginity at the age of ten and a half. And ever since then I be all up in the poon tang. I be like a poon hound and shit. See I ain't play no vidya games since like, Atari, and shit. Shit be old school.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Lars:''' Back then everything black and white, not just race politics, see? Y'feelin'?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel you.
 '''Lars:''' So you know, dog, my first time be scary and shit, I only make that bitch cum like two and a half times. See I be all performance anxiety and shit, but I got through it. Y'all gots to be a MAN and shit. Man up. Y'all gots- Y'all be a man? Or y'all be a boy. What y'all be? ''(Pause while Chris decides)''
 '''Chris:''' I be a man.
 '''Lars:''' See dog, see what I'm feelin', and rightfully, righteously, ''rightatiously'' I should not be tellin' you this, because this hurts my chances and shit. But I will tell you in the interest of bros before hos, that if you got rid of that PS Triple, you got rid of it and you never buy another one, Jackie'd probably kick my black ass out the door and shit. You get rid a that PS Triple, I be out on the street, and Jackie be on your doorstep first thing tomorrow morning and shit. That's all the bitch talk about when she talk about you, is the PS Triple. "PS Triple this, PS Triple that." Well sometimes she talked about the lies and shit too, but mostly the PS Triple.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Yeah... I hear ya, it's- It's a lot. Alright, well- Listen, it's a bit late, and uh... I wanna be gettin' me a good night's- I wanna be gettin' me a good night's sleep. Cuz, you know, gonna be another day tomorrow.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, a'ight, I feel you. Yo, yo, dog, yo dog. You know what I'm doin' right now? Now what I'm doin'?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Lars:''' Holdin' up my fist, dog. Solidarity! Peace, dog.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeit. So y'all got your vidya games, Jackie- She be all up in that toilet, like another hour or two, shit... I'll tell her to wipe her ass and them come jump on my dick and shit. I'll be like all up in that poontang. Yo, I'll write you an email and shit, tell you all about that poon tang. And you write me an email tellin' me about y'all video games, that way we can exchange and learn from each other's culture, see 'cause I- I be like with a woman and shit, and I can tell you what that be like. And you be playin' vidya games, which I ain't familiar with, and then tell me what it be like to just be playin' video games in your room all day.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause, not getting it)'' Hm.
 '''Lars:''' See, we each have our diferent priorities. See, you want your video games and I want Jackie. I wanna be with Jackie. See dog- Dawg, dawg, dawg, now... I'll let you go soon, I'll let you go soon, cuz I know you tired and shit. I know white people like to go to bed before midnight. But let me ax you something, one more question real quick. I be your nigga and shit, you be my nigga. Y'all be honest and straightforward with me. Now-
 '''Chris:''' I be honest and straightforward.
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, a'ight, now y'all be sayin' to Jackie that you want Jackie and shit. Y'all be sayin' to everyone out there that you want Jackie.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Lars:''' More than anything. But the situation-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want Jackie more than anything.
 '''Lars:''' The situation be like, you ain't givin' up no vidya games for her. Y'all just want your vidya game. So you can tell me, bro. Tell me, my nigga... Y'all really want Jackie or not? Or do y'all want your vidya games more than you actually want Jackie, if you want Jackie? You can be honest with me now-
 '''Chris:''' I want Jackie- I want Jackie and I want to be able to keep my video games.
 '''Lars:''' Sheeeeit, dog, that ain't always an option. Can't have your cake and eat it too. Or as we say in nigga culture, "Can't have your [[Wikipedia:Grape soda|grape soda]] and drink it too." Cuz see, black people don't eat cake. It's that devil food, it-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I like- I like [[Wikipedia:Orange soft drink|orange soda]].
 '''Lars:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, orange soda. That be what white people drink.
 '''Chris:''' You remember [[Wikipedia:Kenan & Kel|''Kenan & Kel'']]? That was a funny sh- That was a fun show.
 '''Lars:''' Who the fuck Kenan & Kel? That the nigga that owe me money? You tell that fuckin' nigga to give me my fifteen dolla'! You see that nigga? Sheeeit, fake nigga if ever there was one. Damn.
 '''Chris:''' No, I- I'm talking about the show that was on [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (TV channel)|Nickelodeon]].
 '''Lars:''' Nickel-lo... What the fuck do that be? That be one of them [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (movie theater)|nickel and dime theaters]] from the [[1920s]] and shit? Fuckin' [[Wikipedia:Flapper|flappers]] and shit, [[Homos|women with short hair]]? Sheeeeeeit.
 '''Chris:''' Yea- Alright, well I'll let you- Alright, well I'll let you go, it's been- It's been cool hangin' with ya. You my nigga- ''(Lars talks over Chris)''
 '''Lars:''' A'ight, dog, I'll talk to you soon. I'll talk to you soon, I'ma go fuck Jackie now. I'll talk to you soon, dog, we'll be in touch and shit. Nice meetin' you and shit.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah, alright.
 '''Lars:''' Goodnight, dawg.
 '''Chris:''' Goodnight.

==External links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFNyMfrTc_M&feature=related Listen On Youtube]
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?mzqbcbh007abn88 Download]
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBYi1CQTNfY210U1k Google Drive mirror]
* [http://goo.gl/DbVDg Non-mediafire mirror]
* [http://db.tt/55pQvBce Dropbox mirror]

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]

C.W.C. - Thank You :)

2014-11-17T03:44:43Z

Export A: Minor corrections to transcript

"'''C.W.C. - Thank You :)'''" is a video in which [[Chris]] stumbles upon a "revelation" concerning why he is trolled and thanks [[ED]] and [[trolls]] for trolling him.

Despite Chris's high talk, the true purpose of the video seems to be that the trolls provide proof that Chris is not the impostor Chris, but is in fact the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is the one who is trolled and is the laughing stock of the Internet.

Note that, although he insists that we're "twisting the truth" to make him look bad, Chris acknowledges that everything on our site is basically accurate. This means he is admitting to being a [[Chris and race|racist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Women's rights|chauvinistic]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-satisfied]] manchild; he just doesn't see why that's a bad thing.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = C.W.C. - Thank You :)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Gx5yjeEYncQ}}
| stardate = 03 [[August 2009]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_3#IBAChandler.27s_Bonus_Video#IBAChandler's Bonus Video|Yearbooks]]
| next = [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff#Video|Exposing Jeff]]
}}
{{quote|I thank you trolls. I thank you for documenting the truth.}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: April 3rd, [''removes glasses''] 2009.

I have had the revelation, I now see the truth. [''puts his glasses back on''] I see the truth behind the reason why the trolls troll me. Why they have been, why the're still doing it and all the like. Not just because the're bored, not just because they want information. Not just because they want to get to know me, not becau—not just because they have been emotionally hurt themselves, so many details that could be supposed for all the reasons to be listed. But, [''looks at his red clipboard''] the [[trolls]] are there to document the truth. Granted, they twist them around with their own evil ways. Try to make the individual look bad, but they still document the truth.

And with that [''raises his clipboard''] I would like to say the following assortment of words... that I have felt from my heart.

It is good to have my own trolls. They may try, and sometimes succeed, in getting true, hard, honest information from one, and they may later twist the truth for their evil purposes. Just like the ''paparazzi''. And, yet, they still, ''document'' the truth. And that text, audio, photographic, video, etc., type of information, is what separates the impostors from the real, true, honest, individual.

Just as I am posing in my shir—in my coa—in my coat I have worn on [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|my twenty-fifth birthday FUTURE MESSAGE video]], I wear it now because... I thank you trolls. I thank you for documenting the truth. I thank you for, uh, keepin' it real, and separating me from the false people. I also thank [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. S—granted, slanderous... still... some... truth. And the original truth is documented in there, somewhere. In the ''history'' [''makes a vague hand-waving gesture'']. Granted that as—as much as you will have gotten from me... and, uh, [''exhales''] all that sort of thing. Oh, and also another reason, because your questions may have gone ignored before, I will, in the future, take one question at a time. And if it is a bad question, I will say... "no comment". So theref... yeah, so, therefore... for all that you have been turn—done—for all that you trolls have... done... you in turn have done for me, an excellent service. Now it is with the Wolf Cub—Wolf Cub Scout salute... I salute you. [''Wolf Scout salute''] Have a good day! [''peace sign''] Stay safe.

[''video cuts'']

Also before I forget, the, ah, current [[SingStar Challenge|SingStar contest]], between me and [[Liquid Chris|the impostor in the brown stripes]]... '''I know your naaaaaaame''', Mr. Toys-R-Us giraaaaaafe! His name! Only cut in half. Use the first name. Anyway, the contest shall continue, for the fun of it. Aaaand I hope he will enjoy the song I have in my mind [''points to head''] that God has entrusted me to relay, for ''him'' to sing, that he enjoys it, and sees the meaning. The Lord loves us... [''puts hand over heart''] by our own name... [[Christopher's_name_change|our own true honest name]].

===From the Description sidebar===
{{quotebox|Also, I would like to document that Trolls are there also to make us Grow Up Emotionally. They try to break our spirits, keeping us down. But I still get back up and stand, Standing up for the things I know are right. I Dare to keep my Dreams and Love Alive.

<nowiki>**And, I would like to take this moment to offer my most Humble Apologies, now that I have a fuller understanding of things.</nowiki>

-I am sorry, [[Michael Snyder]], for acting the way I did; it's your Television, and I should have respected you. 
-I am sorry, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], You got the complaints from other people; You had your orders; You shattered my heart. Now, as I will soon draw you out of the comic pages as the villain, I forgive you for your misdeed of Heart-Shattering, and I would like very much to put this behind us after almost 6 years. 
-I am sorry, Megan Schroeder, I should have not been soo touchy-feely. I was feeling elated and excited; I meant no discomfort, and for the discomfort I have caused unto you, I apologize. 
-[[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], I still do not understand your beef against me, but I apologize for having my mother and father confront you that night, and if you will let me know what I have done wrong unto you to cause you grief, I will be happy to listen and fully comprehend. 

Thank You, Trolls. 
Thank You, Encyclopedia Dramatica. 
Thank You, Loyal Fans. CWCipedia is the NEW Official Sonichu & Rosechu Site; Enjoy. 
Thank You All. :) }}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]|nextlink=[[Exposing Jeff]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-08-03]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-03]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-08-03]]

The End For Real (Kacey call)

2014-05-30T08:41:25Z

Export A: Minor formating

'''The End For Real''' is a phone call which took place between [[Kacey]] and Chris on [[November 2009|10 November 2009]], and led to Kacey severing all connections from Chris, [[Kacey#Marriage to Liquid|Kacey marrying Liquid Chris the following day]], and the resulting [[CWC is Sad|video]] in which Chris tried not to cry over losing his [[Chris and reality|potential]] [[sweetheart]].

It was leaked to the [[CWCki]] on 16 [[February 2011]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|ZCxzpjKDp3Y}}
| Stardate = 10 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
| next = N/A
}}

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi, Chris. It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, hey Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I got [[Kim]]'s e-mail, she said to call you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, we need-yeah, uh, I feel like we need to, uh, talk, you know, [[Kacey and Liquid Call|sort out what happened the other night]]. Yeah, I did not mean-I did not mean to ignore you, and I was aware you were there and I'm sorr-I'm sorr-I wanted to call you guys back.
 '''Kacey:''' [speaks over Chris] Well, you didn't really... act like I was there, I, like, I'm pretty sure you just straight-out [[Women's rights|ignored everything I said]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes a strange grunting noise''] Yeah, yeah well let me talk about that. You see, uh, I have, uh, what- one of my problems is that I have [[Wikipedia:Tunnel vision|tunnel vision]]. You know, it's like, uh, when, like, [[Autism|you concentrate on one thing and you're pretty much set until its done]]. And, uh, and Chris was-
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaks over Chris''] It-It-It doesn't matter, it made me feel like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is more important than I was. You were more concerned about what he was saying even though you think they're lies, than what I was saying even though I'm saying the truth. I mean, it's like, it's like you wanted him more than you wanted me.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey... That's not true. That's not true.
 '''Kacey:''' But-But I mean, if you have tunnel vision shouldn't your tunnel vision have been pointed at ''me'' and not ''him''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you see, another one of my flaws is, uh, when I get really [[stressed]] my mind tends to blank out and my problem-solving skills, uh, pretty much, uh, temporary [[Chris and English|[''sic'']]] go down the toilet there. And...it just blank up and it justs really blanks me out, and, don't-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what's very important to me is that I have someone who can defend me, you weren't even defending me at all, you were just [[Chris and anger|screaming]] at him. I need someone who's quick on their feet. I mean, did you realize how much I was hurt last night?
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, I realize how much you were hurt, um, I'm very sorry about that, I real-I realize what a heel I was.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but did you really realize that, or did someone have to tell you that?
 '''Chris:''' Nope, I realized it. No one had to tell me. [''pause''] I did talk to Kim about it, though.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I know you talked to Kim, she's the one who e-mailed me.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yep. But, anyway, Kacey, I do love you. I really do. I'm very sorry I ignored you.
 '''Kacey:''' But, you haven't even tried to contact me until Kim told you to! I mean, how can you say you love me or care about me, and you were just going to, like, okay, I was so hurt, and I, I mean, what would you have done, I mean, if you didn't talk to me? I mean, I could have just gone off and done whatever, you would have been out of sight, out of mind. You couldn't even send a simple e-mail. I mean, it's like you didn't even care that I was hurt or crying or anything.
 '''Chris:''' No, I di-I did care. I just, uh, I was under st-I was under the shock, too.
 '''Kacey:''' What shock? There was no shock!
 '''Chris:''' You know, realizing what a heel I was and how hurt you were...and that made me feel hurt. You know? 'Cause...
 '''Kacey:''' Then, why didn't you try to contact me? You would think you want to if you hurt someone you, um, supposedly love.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I should have, yeah, I should have contacted you sooner. I just feel I-I thought-
 '''Kacey:''' You were too busy playing [[video games]] again, weren't you?
 '''Chris:''' No, I just thought-I just thought that you might need your spa-you might need some space, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I'm hurting so you're just going to let me hurt all alone, or-or-or worse, in your opinion, you were gonna let me be with Chris, I mean, what did you think was gonna happen? I mean, you were playing video games today anyway, don't lie to me, I know you were.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I played some video games. I played some video games.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Those are more important than me, too! How the heck are you supposed to have a [[girlfriend]] if you can't even talk to her unless her friend tells you to do it? You're just going to sit around and play video games all day, like, I could be hurt or sick or something, and you wouldn't know because your video games are more important.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, you are more important. And if I- [Chris begins to speak, but Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' But you're not acting like it at all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, maybe I'm not acting like uh guh, m-maybe I'm not giving that impression right now. But Kacey- [Chris is interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' Or ever.
 '''Chris:''' But Kacey, please believe me. You are very important. [[Chris and English|Because you are kind, caring]] [[China|woman]]. And you mean a lot to me. And I would really be hurt if something happened to you. And I will defend you. I really would. [mumbles incoherently]
 '''Kacey:''' But you never listen to me. You don't act like it. These are all just empty, meaningless words to me right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, y-I-I do listen to you.
 '''Kacey:''' No you don't! You haven't stopped eating McDonald's, you haven't gone jogging, you still play video games, you still ignore me. Name one thing that you do listen to me about. ONE thing.
 '''Chris:''' I did listen to you, on the fact that I should not go to McDonald's. And I have- [Interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' But I know you've been eating at McDonald's.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, uh, well, um, okay, yes, I was eating at McDonald's for a little while.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, and it's all fast food, you still go to fast food, I know you do.
 '''Chris:''' [[sigh|*stress sigh*]], I, okay, I have not gone to McDonald's for over a week.
 '''Kacey:''' Or ANY fast food.
 '''Chris:''' [[Lie|I have not gone to any fast food, have not eaten the fast food, for over a week.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Then [[McDonalds|what]] have you been eating? What did you eat tonight?
 '''Chris:''' I have been-I have been eating mostly TV Dinners.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' Like Michelina, or Banquet.
 '''Kacey:''' [[Chris_and_health|Have you looked at the nutritional values of those]]? Most of those are like, 300% sodium. That's just as bad, if not worse, because sodium can be just as bad as fat. Why don't you freshly prepare some food? I mean, even getting something at a deli is better. You should be making meals, you said you could cook. Or was that a lie too?
 '''Chris:''' ...I can cook.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why don't you?
 '''Chris:''' Because I-because I don't have the individual ingredients at the time.
 '''Kacey:''' [incredulous]...Then go buy them.
 '''Chris:''' And I will. I'm going to buy the individual ingredients to make- to make da better food.
 '''Kacey:''' Why haven't you already? I mean, if you can't even take the initiative to cook your food... I mean, why haven't you done this throughout your life?! Like, you're just lying to me again to make yourself look better, but I know you're never going to do it! I know you're not.
 '''Chris:''' I am. I am going to do it. I am going to do it. [long, awkward pause] I have been working on making myself better. I have been going out jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like, for like, what? Five minutes? I run five miles, 2.5 at the... least. I mean, you should be able to jog at least two miles by now if you were even trying. And you don't listen to- [Chris tries to speak over her, saying "I am trying."] me when I'm trying to tell you I'm worried about how you're probably losing muscle mass or anything. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I do- I listen to you and like... I-I-I really ap'riciate your concern, but that concern makes me think, and it makes me act... Truly.
 '''Kacey:''' That's- I mean, I saw those [[11042009 51 50|videos when you were trying to lift lemonade...]] Those weren't fifty pounds. I mean, that's not even a workout, anyway, that's not even balanced. Get some real weights. I mean, that's just gonna hurt you, 'cuz you're displacing the weight.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm going to get a pair of fifty pound weights...
 '''Kacey:''' Either way, it shouldn't have been that hard, I mean, you shouldn't have struggled with something that was like what, five, seven pounds?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well maybe I- Okay, I exa- I exa- I likely exaggerated when I said that they were each fifty.
 '''Kacey:''' That's a huge exaggeration! That's a ''big'' difference!
 '''Chris:''' They felt, like, more than twenty pounds apiece.
 '''Kacey:''' Kim said they were ten pounds. I'm not even sure if it's that much.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well... okay, I-I do not claim to actually know how many pounds one of those actually is...
 '''Kacey:''' Then you shouldn't have.
 '''Chris:''' But, it felt like at least twenty.
 '''Kacey:''' No it's not. I'm looking it up on Google right now and it says around eight, ten pounds. I mean, it's just [[Honor roll|simple math and conversion]].
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how hard is it to look it up, so you don't look stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I could've- I could've looked it up. I just didn't- I did not think about that. I did not think of that. One of my faults, sometimes I don't think of everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, do you ever think, cause I'm starting to think you don't, because you've been making a ''lot'' of mistakes lately. And... it's really, really, making ''me'' think. I mean, I'm tired of the excuses.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm ti- I, I don't like excuses either.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why do you make them all the time? That's all you ever do.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Okay, maybe- okay. I have made some excuses in the past.
 '''Kacey:''' You make a ''lot'' of excuses in the past. You make any excuse, you ever do, it's always "[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it]]," or "I'm thinking about it," like, whenever you say stuff like that I know it's not going to get done. I mean, that's really bad, when... I already ''know'' you're not going to do anything by the words you say. You're just gonna continue to make excuses. You left me alone for several days after you heard how upset I was! The hell? You really think I want a boyfriend like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you ta- yeah, you would not want a boyfriend like that. But, I ca-yeah, I mean I have, I realize that...
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so, you see what I'm saying. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand... what you are saying. And I could be better, and I am willing to improve.
 '''Kacey:''' Sssomehow, I don't really think you're going to.
 '''Chris:''' I am going to improve on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you haven't yet, so... why would I believe you now?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long silence]'' Okay, you have every right to question that, but... please believe me, I mean, ya know, one thing that- ya know, I would be, I would be ''glad'' to be there for you, but... I don't know your address.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter, you should be able to be there for me otherwise. You haven't earned that address. I mean, is that really all you've got? I mean... and after that comic, how wo- why would I want to give you my address? You're just going to shoot [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] or me anyway!
 '''Chris:''' I, I promise you, I would not shoot anybody for real. I do not even own a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' Doesn't mean you couldn't get one, I could get a gun and I don't own one.
 '''Chris:''' I do not, I have no intention on getting a real gun in the near future.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, but it's so easy to get guns, do you remember the Virginia Tech shooter? It's easy. Doesn't matter, all you need to do is get mad again, then you'll just ignore me anyway.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you that I would not ignore you in the future, even when I get- even when I get... riled up, and angry and [mumbling], I would not ignore you.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, you've ignored me enough, don't you think it might be a little too late? I mean, that comic really scared me, I mean, I'm pretty sure... you shot him in the comic so he couldn't follow and take me back. I mean, that's just ''creepy''. That's psychotic. That's delusional.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I, I agree with you, that... I may have some issues to resolve with Chris. Like, you know, I definitely should... like, you know, try... to sit in front of him...
 '''Chris:''' ...and discuss things, calmly...
 '''Kacey:''' You think he's gonna do that after he saw that comic?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, obviously he definitely has other skeletons in his closet-
 '''Kacey:''' This isn't about him; this isn't about him. This is about you. And I'm tired of you talking bad about him.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yeah. I don- I don't like talking bad about people, but-
 '''Kacey:''' But you do all the time!
 '''Chris:''' Well, only... just, only- ok, well.
 '''Kacey:''' Tell me again why you think you're better than him. Go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm- because I'm loyal.
 '''Kacey:''' You're not very loyal; you haven't called me. You're not very honest; you lie to me all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Because I tell you- I tell you everything I'm- from my heart. And [when] I tell you I love you, I mean it.
 '''Kacey:''' That's lying. You can't even send me a simple email to make sure I'm OK. Like, I don't think you get how hurt and angry I am, so no, I want something that you're better at him at that is real, because your lies come from your heart too.
 '''Chris:''' [Stuttering incoherently for a rebuttal] Ok, I have made the mistake of lying at-
 '''Kacey:''' A lot.
 '''Chris:''' A lot, a lot, but a lot of the things that I have told you, in the past, were true. I swear, I have told you a lot of truth like you know, like when I tell you about myself on the kind of person I am, those are true. And how I feel about you, that's true, too.
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that?
 '''Chris:''' And my hit-
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know you're not just ready to drop me, because it's easier, or something stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Because... we started out as friends, and I in-
 '''Kacey:''' That's right, friends.
 '''Chris:''' Well, hang on, hang on! We started out as friends with the possibility of a relationship, and I would like a relationship.
 '''Kacey:''' How would we start off as friend with the possibility of a relationship? You lied to me the first time you talked to me.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did the things-
 '''Kacey:''' You pretended to be my boyfriend, my fiance.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did pretend to be Chris. But that was in the case, to let you know, that he was who you- he was not who you thought he was. You know, he was- He ''was'' pretending to be me.
 '''Kacey:''' He wasn't pretending to be you! This is what I don't get. Stop saying he's pretending to be you. Just 'cause you guys have the same name doesn't mean he was pretending to be you, because you two are two totally different people.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yes, we are two totally different people, and I can list the whole number of things that I am and he's no- that he's not that he claims.
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can list the whole things he does that you can't. He can play guitar. He doesn't lie to me. He jogs with me. He does stuff with me. He doesn't sit around and play video games. He has a job. He has a college education. He goes to school. I mean, wh- the hell? I mean, c'mon. Do it, do it. Sho- Tell me. Tell me what's he's not doing and I bet you I can refute everything.
 '''Chris:''' ''[stutters, then sighs]''
 '''Kacey:''' So you don't have anything, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, I can definitely tell you that he did not go to Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is he's in school now. And that he's gonna make himself better.
 '''Chris:''' He is... yes he is, okay, he is...
 '''Kacey:''' His high s- I told you before, high school doesn't matter to me, it's stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Well, you get your education through high school. You need your high school diploma to move on to college...
 '''Kacey:''' Not really, anyone can get their GED and blaze through it. What matters even more than high school education is like your SATs and your ACTs. College is what's important to me. Because that shows a future. I mean, I bet you don't even know what a GED is.
 '''Chris:''' I do know, I have a general idea of what a GED is.
 '''Chris:''' It's a sort of degree.
 '''Kacey:''' ...No... It's... in place of a diploma. I mean, did you even take the SAT?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I did take the SAT in high school.
 '''Kacey:''' What was your scores?
 '''Chris:''' ...I do not remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh come on, you've got to remember. Nobody forgets their SAT scores.
 '''Chris:''' It, uh, with a small detail like that, and I felt it was small... it was in one ear and out the other.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, was it- was it above 1100? Was it above 1200? Was it above... anything like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mmm... Ah, yeah, I think it, I think it was... over 1100. [long pause] But that's to the best of my recollection. [[Lie|I swear]].
 '''Kacey:''' So you had something over 1100, but you went to a community college. I mean, did- did you even try to get into a university? Not that I'm saying community colleges are bad, but, come on.
 '''Chris:''' I did- yeah well, yeah, my mom and dad advised me to go ''to'' the community college, because my family could not afford university.
 '''Kacey:''' That's... my- okay, okay, first off... you're on [[Monthly tugboat|disability]]. Government would have paid for your schooling, the end. That's just being lazy. Um, number two, financial aid and student loans. That would have been all on you, not on them. And the thing is, you... should at ''least'' have transferred to university ''after'' the community college cause community college is a stepping stone. Yes, it's a great way to get your classes for cheaper, but then you ''have'' to go to university to get, like, a bachelor's. I mean, did you even look into that?
 '''Chris:''' That had not come to mind. By the way, I ca- by the way, just to let you know, I did check with my mom and dad, I mean... yes, they were in for, of the, of the financial aid, but they...
 '''Kacey:''' Well then your parents should have done something about that, that just shows your parents didn't care about your future either. But it's not up to them. You should have done it, why didn't you use it? ''[talking over Chris]'' I wish I'd had financial aid right way.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Look. I would have taken the financial aid if I-if I could, but my mom and dad, there was a whole lot of stress going on in just starting out at the community college...
 '''Kacey:''' But you still... should have been able to do it later... ''[Chris stutters]'' Don't you overtalk me! Don't overtalk me. That's the thing, it's always stress, it's always stress this stress that. It...doesn't...''matter''. You should have been able to do something ''afterwards''. Even if you didn't do it right away, you should have been able to go to a four-year university afterwards, and gotten something better than just a little [[CADD]] certificate...whatever. An associate's doesn't do ''shit.'' I'm... I mean, like, I'm sick and tired of hearing you use the word "stress." You don't know stress. We've been through this before. You ''don't know'' what stress is.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I will not disagree with you...but on the...
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn ''straight'' you're not gonna disagree with me because you know I'm right! You don't have a job, you don't even- you don't have job stress. You...You sit around, play video games, and get... ''money''. If your life was a hundred times more stressful than it is now, you still wouldn't have as much stress as I do, you wouldn't have as much stress as...my ''[[Chandler cats|cat]]'', probably.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, y-you're probably right.
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn straight I'm right! I mean, you take days off where you don't do anything except color or play video games. ''[pause]'' I mean, I don't think you get... that all you have shown me the whole time I've known you, is that you don't want to do anything unless it's easy. You want everything to be handed ''to'' you. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of ambitious. Why would I want someone like that?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, you're right. I would not want, uh... I would, if I was to... go out with a woman, I, ah, would want one who was a go-getter. And you...
 '''Kacey:''' But the thing is, don't you think go-getters want ''other'' go-getters? Why would I want someone who's just gonna lay at home and suck up my money? I mean, cause that's all it would be, instead of sucking up the government's money you'd be sucking up my money. And, uh, I'm not sure I'd like that. At all. I mean, I don't want to have to take care of someone until I have kids, and you're ''definitely'' not my kid.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' I can definitely, be able- I can definitely take care of myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No you can't! You don't have a job. Can't take care of yourself without a job. My job is hanging on a thread, and I'm still doing way better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, you're doing... way better than me. You know a lot more than I do.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, seriously, tell me: without your parents, could you survive?
 '''Chris:''' I would do my best to survive, and... I think I would get by.
 '''Kacey:''' Really. Your best. Because, I mean... what kind of bills do you think need to be paid off every month?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah... electric, water, heating... that sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[pause]'' Um, how about car insurance? Um, [[Television|cable?]]
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, car, um...
 '''Kacey:''' Rent? Property? You got taxes? Um, trash pickup if you have trash? Recycling if you have recycling? Oh, and don't forget any repairs.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, there is all that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how much do you get a month again? Like, what, 600?
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm ge- I'm getting... about 800 a month right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Still, my bills are slightly larger than that. I mean, you couldn't survive on your own. And, I mean, these are my bills with ''roommates.'' I don't think you could survive without your parents. You can't even move out! And even if you could move out, you wouldn't have anybody to move out ''with''! That's, that's insane!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is insane. And I...
 '''Kacey:''' Then why haven't you done something about it?! I have been living out on my own since I was eighteen, nineteen. You are twenty-seven! And you haven't moved out yet!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well one reason is- yeah, I don't have anybody to move out... with.
 '''Kacey:''' I moved out with ''nothing.'' I moved out with no job, hardly any money, without a car, and I still survived. And I got myself a job, and I got myself a car.
 '''Chris:''' Well I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, find someone, there's people in craigslist, the newspapers, um universities, everywhere. You can find something. You can find someone who, will just rent a room. And then you don't even need to be around that person. I mean, Hell, you could probably get housing.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, [stutters] That's true, but ah... If I move out that's actually- I think I could be able to move out.. with my girlfriend. I don't, I mean, I wouldn't want just some other, I don't think- I just wouldn't feel comfortable-
 '''Kacey:''' [cuts in] But be realistic Chris, I mean.
 '''Chris:''' with some kind of stranger...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to know how to live on your own before you go into a relationship. Because if you go straight into, living out with a relationship, it's going to put a strain on there. I mean, you need to know how to deal with strangers, you need to know how to live on your own. I mean if you can't take care of yourself, you can't expect to be in a relationship. You'll just drag it down. Besides, I mean, you shouldn't move out with someone right away anyway, so you should probably live on your own first. I mean, besides, if you keep acting the way you're acting, you aren't likely to get a girlfriend anyway. Besides, if you had your own place to be, it'd be easier, because then there'd be a place for her to move and normally it's the girl who moves in with the guy. [obvious sounds of Kacey being tired from wailing on Chris so much] And ''besides,'' if you can't even take care of that, how do you expect to take care of a daughter... Which you keep dreaming about. I mean, are you expecting to just marry someone rich?
[''slight pause'']
 '''Chris:''' No, I do not... I- [cut off by Kacey]
 '''Kacey:''' Then how are you gonna take care of her? How are you gonna take care of a daughter?
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris_and_Reality|One day at a time.]]
 '''Kacey:''' No, there is no one day at a time. You-You... There is no one day at a time. You do that, you're going to [[Obesity|starve.]] You need ''plans.'' I mean, that's like Alcoholics Anonymous, that's not living.
 '''Chris:''' [[Alcohol|Well, I mean, at least I don't go out and get drunk every night.]] I don't do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know what, at least those drunks could pay for their drinks. You couldn't even do that! I mean, are you just trying to make yourself look good?
 '''Chris:''' [incoherent mumbling, sounds like he's repeating what Kacey just asked him] Yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, stop! It's-It's... I mean, that's- uh, that's stupid!
 '''Chris:''' Well, wait, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' You're comparing apples to oranges!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, wait, maybe I'm misunderstanding the ques- maybe I misunderstood the question. You just said, I mean, I thought you said, uh, "[...]trying to make myself look good."
 '''Kacebr>/font>
br>y:''' Yeah, you're just trying to make yoursbr>elf look good by comparing yourself to someone you think is worse than you. But, I mean, you're not going to be able to always do that. That's not adult.
 '''Chris:''' [completely skipping over the latter half of her last statements] Oooh, yeah, okay, yeah, now I understand. I just, mm... okay. Mmmm... Yeah. Mmm... Yeah, but, that is, uh, that is kind of a lame deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, at this point, they're probably better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're pro'lly- Yeah... You're right. A lot of people are better than me. Uh... In situations of being able to take care of him or herselves... Themselves.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, so obviously you're never gonna be able to take care of anyone. Why would girls want that? Girls want [[Liquid_Chris|real men.]] They want somebody who's gonna give them comfort and security. Not saying that the girl shouldn't be making money, too, and helping out, but I mean, nobody wants somebody who's just going to, [scoff] to, just, lay there and do nothing!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, oh-kay, look at what I'm being offered with Chris. Look at what I'm being offered with you. If you were me, what would you do?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... Yeah... Probably go to one that's better. But... Lemme just ask you- I mean, I know it's not about Chris, lemme ask you, have you actually ''checked'' his back- his background and actually seen where he works?
 '''Kacey:''' ''Yes!'' And that's why he- I know he's honest with me! And it doesn't matter anyway, you just said it's not about him, but then you made it about him. I mean, I've been to a company lunch with him.
 '''Chris:''' Well, um, I was just askin'. I was just askin'.
 '''Kacey:''' So, I mean, seriously, once again, I mean, who do you think would be the better one?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, [[Liquid_Chris|him.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so why-why do you think I would even give you a chance after all the lies and all the ch-shit you put me through? You ignored me.
 '''Chris:''' I lis- I listen to your every word, I ''did...'' I-I-Okay, well...
 [''Chris and Kacey talk over each other, Kacey comes out victorious'']
 '''Kacey:''' If you listen to it, you definitely didn't do anything about it. I mean, stop lying.
 '''Chris:''' I have been exercising, I have been... going out walking and jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, for five minutes. Not good enough. Totally not good enough.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, not good en-could be better. Could be better.
 '''Kacey:''' Could be ''a LOT'' better. I mean, working is not good enough if you don't push yourself. Then you're not really working on it. Then you're just kinda coasting through it. You're just kinda being half-assed. Do I really seem like the girl who needs someone half-assed?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're not the... kinda girl that would want somebody who's... half-assed.
 [''21 second pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just... [sigh] Right now, in my eyes, you're just a horrible human being. You leech off [[Monthly_Tugboat|everyone.]] And I can't stand that, for one, you don't even know the principles of your religion right, which is extremely important to me. You've insulted and hurt my fiancé beyond anything, then you've insulted and hurt me, you've ignored me, you think ''he's'' more important, you've disrespected everyone on [[Twin_Falling_Towers|9/11,]] when, of course, nothing touches YOU, you insulted my father, you insulted my family... You- I mean, you compared my grandmother dying to a [[Patti-chan|DOG.]] A ''dog.'' A mangy, dirty dog. I mean. Oh. My. [[Godjesus#Concept_of_God_.28or:_GodJesus.29|GOD.]]
 '''Chris:''' [obviously jumping over everything Kacey just said yet again] Patti was not a mangy, dirty dog... She was a member of my family.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well, that still doesn't mean that she's like my grandmother dying in a terrorist attack. She still a damned dog. I mean, I love my cats and everything, but they're still cats! She was still a damn dog. I mean, fuck you for even COMPARING that to my grandmother dying.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well- kay...
 '''Kacey:''' You don't understand life, you don't understand [[Chris_and_Death|death,]] obviously.
 '''Chris:''' I do understand death. It hurts...
 '''Kacey:''' The thing is, you don't understand. I mean, you're not even going to live to see thirty. Why would I wanna be with someone who I know is going to be dead in four years? Three years? I mean... [sigh] I wouldn't even give you five years. My family hates you, you're lying to me, you're nasty to my friends, you lie to my friends. I mean, don't think I don't know that you don't lie to Kim. Don't think I don't know that you don't lie to me! I don't think you'd have luck with anyone, to tell you the truth. So you can not tell me that you want me to be with you or that you love me because you're just gonna die wasting your life playing video games and doing nothing. I mean, even though a [[CADD]] degree isn't much, you haven't done anything with it. You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want. You definitely didn't fight for me, so you know what? I don't need this at all. This is totally not what I need. I mean, fuck you, I don't even wanna be friends, because you are a total waste of space. I mean, you disrespect everyone. And you know what? I'm getting married tomorrow, 2PM. You know what, and it's all thanks to you, cause if it weren't for you being such an [[Nudes|ass,]] I wouldn't see what a great person Chris is and how much he really does love me 'cause I had someone to compare him to, who doesn't give a [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] about me, who only loves his video games and himself. So you know what? You- Just- You know what? I don't even care because I don't even have anything to say to you because you know what, won't hurt about this, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|you'll be over this by tomorrow]]. I will never see anything that shows you're even hurt by this or you even care! So you know what, I'm going to go ahead and get married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead. I mean, I'd recommend talking to someone about that. Y'should probably call up, you know, an institution, therapy, something, because, I mean, you're gonna be the five- doing the same thing in five minutes. I bet you I will never be mentioned again by you. You're not gonna be upset. You're not gonna do anything. I bet you anything I'm gonna see a new video being like, "Oh, who the hell was Kacey? I'm going after..." I don't even care anymore. I. Don't. Care. I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy, so you know what? Go do whatever because you know what, just fuck you, you're just gonna go off with someone else because, I mean, you've already shown me that, you've already shown me that, sooo... Have fun making a video about meeting a new girlfriend, because I'm done.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh...
 '''Kacey:''' Peace out.
 [''tape ends'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]|nextlink=[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]|Final]]}}

==External links==

[http://www.mediafire.com/download/1d241aekda9c2ce/111009theendforreal.mp3 Download call (MP3)]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey calls

2014-05-30T06:54:14Z

Export A: Added link to youtube playlist + cleanup

The '''Kacey calls''' are a series of phone calls between [[Chris]] and his then [[gal pal]] [[Kacey]]. Chris spent [[August 2009|August]] to [[October 2009]] trying to build Kacey into his [[Sweetheart From the Ground-Up]] by lying to her and listening to her yell at him. He learned nothing.
==The Calls==
===Call 1===
{{main|Kacey Call}}
After finding out that [[Liquid Chris]] had a girlfriend, [[Solid Chris]] called her so he could "ease her into the truth" about her boyfriend's lies. Then he talks about eating cum off her tits. This call represents possibly the happiest moment in Chris and Kacey's "relationship". It's all downhill from here.

===Call 1.5===
{{main|Kacey Call 1.5}}
This call was recorded sometime between Call #1 and Call #2. Even though it was the second earliest call between Solid and Kacey, it was also the last to be released.

===Call 2===
{{main|Kacey Call 2}}
Chris continues to pose as Kacey's boyfriend, and organizes a meeting between the two of them. It all seems to be going so well...

===Call 3===
{{main|Kacey Call 3}}
After revealing the shocking truth that he is actually a fat creepy manchild, Kacey is disgusted and calls Chris up to yell at him. Chris pleads innocence and attempts to explain how HE is the victim here and Kacey is stupid for not understanding that.

===Call 4===
{{main|Kacey Call 4}}
A few weeks later, Chris and Kacey appear to be on relatively good terms with each other. Chris begins by reading a list of conversation topics he'd prepared, but things quickly devolve into Kacey questioning Chris about his many failures and him lying about everything. Eventually, Kacey convinces Chris to look for a job.

===Call 5===
{{main|Kacey Call 5}}
Chris and Kacey discuss Chris's understanding of money and the fact this his college experience was a waste of time for everyone involved.

===Call 6===
{{main|Kacey Call 6}}
Chris describes his few good experiences from his college days and his hatred towards his [[CADD Chef|CADD Teacher]]. Later, he tries to convince Kacey that he has multiple personalities, and his former personality was the weak and gullible one, but now he's switched over to the more "dynamic" one. Kacey basically laughs at him and tells him he's stupid, so he gives up on that idea and tries to pretend it never happened. The call ends with Kacey worrying that Chris is going to die because of his unhealthy lifestyle.

===Call 7===
{{main|Kacey Call 7}}
Chris claims he is exercising more and eating healthier, and he's going to buy a sports bra to hold his manboobs while jogging. He also talks about his understanding of the [[Third Date]], researching the age of consent, and implies that he's been able to enjoy masturbation more lately because he fantasizes about Kacey while doing it.

===Call 8===
{{main|Kacey Call 8}}
Chris learns some surprising news about how getting a job will affect his tugboat and promises to apply for a job at Wal-Mart. Kacey brings up Chris's stupid multiple personalities idea from earlier, and Chris tries to dismiss it, now claiming that he was possessed by a troll ghost because that makes a lot more sense. Later, Kacey makes it clear that Chris will not escape the Friend Zone.

===Call 9===
{{main|Kacey Call 9}}
Chris is still disappointed that Kacey Friend Zoned him, whines about being rejected by the [[Hambeast]], tries to justify his lack of male friends, and reveals the horrors he found within the Special Ed bus.

===Call 10===
{{main|Kacey Call 10}}
On [[Bob Chandler]]'s birthday, Chris reveals his new found love of sports bras, hates [[Vivian Gee]] and her [[audiobooks]], refuses to sell any of his video games, and complains about his parents being filthy hoarders.

===Call 11===
{{main|Kacey Call 11}}
Chris and Kacey discuss saving money, exercising, toy guitars vs. real guitars, bra maintenance, Family Guy and Playboy. Then Chris asks Kacey about her ex-boyfriend's dick size, and is shocked and saddened by Kacey's answer.

===Call 12===
{{main|Kacey Call 12}}
Chris and Kacey talk about exercising. Chris is fat.

===Call 13===
{{main|Kacey Call 13}}
Chris talks about making [[Videobooks|his own audiobooks]], making "sex drawings" for Kacey, and going to a pole dancing class.

===Call 14===
{{main|Kacey Call 14}}
Chris and Kacey continue to discuss Chris's general unhealthiness and that he's been trying to improve himself. He won't give up drinking soda, though.

===Call 15===
{{main|Kacey Call 15}}
Kacey yells at Chris and he complains about all the heavy stress he has in his life. [[Barb]] comes in and Chris rubs her feet while she rambles on about how she wasted her life, then tells Chris he needs to spend more time cleaning the house. After Barb leaves, Kacey starts telling Chris to clean all the toys and shit out of his room so he'll look more like an adult. Chris accidentally calls Kacey "mom". Also, even more disturbing information is revealed about the shittiness of the pigsty of a landfill that is the shithole of a wasteland of pigshit known as [[14 Branchland Court]].

===Call 16===
{{main|Kacey Call 16}}
Chris and Kacey discuss Chris's fatness, exercising, money, and the [[Sonichu 10|cure for gayness]].

===Call 17===
{{main|Kacey Call 17}}
Chris justifies comparing Kacey to a cow, tries to prove he owns the [[copyright]] for Sonichu, then has to quickly leave so he doesn't shit in his pants again.

===Call 18===
{{main|Kacey Call 18}}
Chris tries to explain how [[Clyde Cash]] came back from the dead, refuses to believe that Clyde is not a homosexual, and prevents Clyde from hacking into his PS3.

===Call 19===
{{main|Kacey Call 19}}
Chris lies about how much he exercises and shares his opinion on abortion.

===Call 20===
{{main|Kacey Call 20}}
Kacey coaches Chris for his upcoming job interview.

===Call 21===
{{main|Kacey Call 21}}
Chris tells Kacey how he thinks his interview went.

===Call 22===
{{main|Kacey Call 22}}
After Chris describes his experience at what he believes is a real life [[Dating Education]] class, he and Kacey debate what should happen to child molesters. She wants to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|BREAK THEM DEAD]], while Chris thinks a few years in prison is punishment enough, unless you're a woman doing it to a guy/boy... then it's ok. After that, Chris tries to defend [[Meg Griffin]]'s honor after Kacey calls her fat and ugly, and refuses to acknowledge any gayness on Family Guy. Finally, Chris is shocked to hear that gay men don't find him attractive.

===Call 23===
{{main|Kacey Call 23}}
Chris reveals what he's learned about Clyde Cash, and gets exhausted after trying to do an impression of his voice.

===Call 24===
{{main|Kacey Call 24}}
Barb has colitis, Chris promises to tear down his Lego city, possibly gets trolled by [[Regina]], doesn't understand why he's the victim of a [[The Miscreants|worldwide trolling organization]], and finally explains, in no uncertain terms, that he is STRAIGHT!!!

===Father Call===
{{main|Father Call}}
Chris has a nice, long chat with Kacey's Father.

===The End===
{{main|Kacey and Liquid Call}}
The shit hits the fan.

===Epilogue===
{{main|The End For Real (Kacey call)}}
The fan will forever covered in shit because Chris is too lazy to clean it.

==External links==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0nDyBBgsRo&list=PL7jHMbY3m5DOUK4wUhqsG_vh0ARkjkpOF Complete youtube playlist of calls]
{{FanChats}}

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

The End For Real (Kacey call)

2014-05-30T06:45:35Z

Export A: Added Video

'''The End For Real''' is a phone call which took place between [[Kacey]] and Chris on [[November 2009|10 November 2009]], and led to Kacey severing all connections from Chris, [[Kacey#Marriage to Liquid|Kacey marrying Liquid Chris the following day]], and the resulting [[CWC is Sad|video]] in which Chris tried not to cry over losing his [[Chris and reality|potential]] [[sweetheart]].

It was leaked to the [[CWCki]] on 16 [[February 2011]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The End For Real
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|ZCxzpjKDp3Y}}
| Stardate = 10 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
| next = N/A
}}

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi, Chris. It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, hey Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I got [[Kim]]'s e-mail, she said to call you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, we need-yeah, uh, I feel like we need to, uh, talk, you know, [[Kacey and Liquid Call|sort out what happened the other night]]. Yeah, I did not mean-I did not mean to ignore you, and I was aware you were there and I'm sorr-I'm sorr-I wanted to call you guys back.
 '''Kacey:''' [speaks over Chris] Well, you didn't really... act like I was there, I, like, I'm pretty sure you just straight-out [[Women's rights|ignored everything I said]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes a strange grunting noise''] Yeah, yeah well let me talk about that. You see, uh, I have, uh, what- one of my problems is that I have [[Wikipedia:Tunnel vision|tunnel vision]]. You know, it's like, uh, when, like, [[Autism|you concentrate on one thing and you're pretty much set until its done]]. And, uh, and Chris was-
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaks over Chris''] It-It-It doesn't matter, it made me feel like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is more important than I was. You were more concerned about what he was saying even though you think they're lies, than what I was saying even though I'm saying the truth. I mean, it's like, it's like you wanted him more than you wanted me.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey... That's not true. That's not true.
 '''Kacey:''' But-But I mean, if you have tunnel vision shouldn't your tunnel vision have been pointed at ''me'' and not ''him''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you see, another one of my flaws is, uh, when I get really [[stressed]] my mind tends to blank out and my problem-solving skills, uh, pretty much, uh, temporary [[Chris and English|[''sic'']]] go down the toilet there. And...it just blank up and it justs really blanks me out, and, don't-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what's very important to me is that I have someone who can defend me, you weren't even defending me at all, you were just [[Chris and anger|screaming]] at him. I need someone who's quick on their feet. I mean, did you realize how much I was hurt last night?
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, I realize how much you were hurt, um, I'm very sorry about that, I real-I realize what a heel I was.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but did you really realize that, or did someone have to tell you that?
 '''Chris:''' Nope, I realized it. No one had to tell me. [''pause''] I did talk to Kim about it, though.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I know you talked to Kim, she's the one who e-mailed me.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yep. But, anyway, Kacey, I do love you. I really do. I'm very sorry I ignored you.
 '''Kacey:''' But, you haven't even tried to contact me until Kim told you to! I mean, how can you say you love me or care about me, and you were just going to, like, okay, I was so hurt, and I, I mean, what would you have done, I mean, if you didn't talk to me? I mean, I could have just gone off and done whatever, you would have been out of sight, out of mind. You couldn't even send a simple e-mail. I mean, it's like you didn't even care that I was hurt or crying or anything.
 '''Chris:''' No, I di-I did care. I just, uh, I was under st-I was under the shock, too.
 '''Kacey:''' What shock? There was no shock!
 '''Chris:''' You know, realizing what a heel I was and how hurt you were...and that made me feel hurt. You know? 'Cause...
 '''Kacey:''' Then, why didn't you try to contact me? You would think you want to if you hurt someone you, um, supposedly love.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I should have, yeah, I should have contacted you sooner. I just feel I-I thought-
 '''Kacey:''' You were too busy playing [[video games]] again, weren't you?
 '''Chris:''' No, I just thought-I just thought that you might need your spa-you might need some space, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I'm hurting so you're just going to let me hurt all alone, or-or-or worse, in your opinion, you were gonna let me be with Chris, I mean, what did you think was gonna happen? I mean, you were playing video games today anyway, don't lie to me, I know you were.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I played some video games. I played some video games.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Those are more important than me, too! How the heck are you supposed to have a [[girlfriend]] if you can't even talk to her unless her friend tells you to do it? You're just going to sit around and play video games all day, like, I could be hurt or sick or something, and you wouldn't know because your video games are more important.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, you are more important. And if I- [Chris begins to speak, but Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' But you're not acting like it at all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, maybe I'm not acting like uh guh, m-maybe I'm not giving that impression right now. But Kacey- [Chris is interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' Or ever.
 '''Chris:''' But Kacey, please believe me. You are very important. [[Chris and English|Because you are kind, caring]] [[China|woman]]. And you mean a lot to me. And I would really be hurt if something happened to you. And I will defend you. I really would. [mumbles incoherently]
 '''Kacey:''' But you never listen to me. You don't act like it. These are all just empty, meaningless words to me right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, y-I-I do listen to you.
 '''Kacey:''' No you don't! You haven't stopped eating McDonald's, you haven't gone jogging, you still play video games, you still ignore me. Name one thing that you do listen to me about. ONE thing.
 '''Chris:''' I did listen to you, on the fact that I should not go to McDonald's. And I have- [Interrupted]
 '''Kacey:''' But I know you've been eating at McDonald's.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, uh, well, um, okay, yes, I was eating at McDonald's for a little while.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, and it's all fast food, you still go to fast food, I know you do.
 '''Chris:''' [[sigh|*stress sigh*]], I, okay, I have not gone to McDonald's for over a week.
 '''Kacey:''' Or ANY fast food.
 '''Chris:''' [[Lie|I have not gone to any fast food, have not eaten the fast food, for over a week.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Then [[McDonalds|what]] have you been eating? What did you eat tonight?
 '''Chris:''' I have been-I have been eating mostly TV Dinners.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' Like Michelina, or Banquet.
 '''Kacey:''' [[Chris_and_health|Have you looked at the nutritional values of those]]? Most of those are like, 300% sodium. That's just as bad, if not worse, because sodium can be just as bad as fat. Why don't you freshly prepare some food? I mean, even getting something at a deli is better. You should be making meals, you said you could cook. Or was that a lie too?
 '''Chris:''' ...I can cook.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why don't you?
 '''Chris:''' Because I-because I don't have the individual ingredients at the time.
 '''Kacey:''' [incredulous]...Then go buy them.
 '''Chris:''' And I will. I'm going to buy the individual ingredients to make- to make da better food.
 '''Kacey:''' Why haven't you already? I mean, if you can't even take the initiative to cook your food... I mean, why haven't you done this throughout your life?! Like, you're just lying to me again to make yourself look better, but I know you're never going to do it! I know you're not.
 '''Chris:''' I am. I am going to do it. I am going to do it. [long, awkward pause] I have been working on making myself better. I have been going out jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like, for like, what? Five minutes? I run five miles, 2.5 at the... least. I mean, you should be able to jog at least two miles by now if you were even trying. And you don't listen to- [Chris tries to speak over her, saying "I am trying."] me when I'm trying to tell you I'm worried about how you're probably losing muscle mass or anything. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I do- I listen to you and like... I-I-I really ap'riciate your concern, but that concern makes me think, and it makes me act... Truly.
 '''Kacey:''' That's- I mean, I saw those [[11042009 51 50|videos when you were trying to lift lemonade...]] Those weren't fifty pounds. I mean, that's not even a workout, anyway, that's not even balanced. Get some real weights. I mean, that's just gonna hurt you, 'cuz you're displacing the weight.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm going to get a pair of fifty pound weights...
 '''Kacey:''' Either way, it shouldn't have been that hard, I mean, you shouldn't have struggled with something that was like what, five, seven pounds?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well maybe I- Okay, I exa- I exa- I likely exaggerated when I said that they were each fifty.
 '''Kacey:''' That's a huge exaggeration! That's a ''big'' difference!
 '''Chris:''' They felt, like, more than twenty pounds apiece.
 '''Kacey:''' Kim said they were ten pounds. I'm not even sure if it's that much.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well... okay, I-I do not claim to actually know how many pounds one of those actually is...
 '''Kacey:''' Then you shouldn't have.
 '''Chris:''' But, it felt like at least twenty.
 '''Kacey:''' No it's not. I'm looking it up on Google right now and it says around eight, ten pounds. I mean, it's just [[Honor roll|simple math and conversion]].
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how hard is it to look it up, so you don't look stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I could've- I could've looked it up. I just didn't- I did not think about that. I did not think of that. One of my faults, sometimes I don't think of everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, do you ever think, cause I'm starting to think you don't, because you've been making a ''lot'' of mistakes lately. And... it's really, really, making ''me'' think. I mean, I'm tired of the excuses.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm ti- I, I don't like excuses either.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why do you make them all the time? That's all you ever do.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Okay, maybe- okay. I have made some excuses in the past.
 '''Kacey:''' You make a ''lot'' of excuses in the past. You make any excuse, you ever do, it's always "[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it]]," or "I'm thinking about it," like, whenever you say stuff like that I know it's not going to get done. I mean, that's really bad, when... I already ''know'' you're not going to do anything by the words you say. You're just gonna continue to make excuses. You left me alone for several days after you heard how upset I was! The hell? You really think I want a boyfriend like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you ta- yeah, you would not want a boyfriend like that. But, I ca-yeah, I mean I have, I realize that...
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so, you see what I'm saying. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand... what you are saying. And I could be better, and I am willing to improve.
 '''Kacey:''' Sssomehow, I don't really think you're going to.
 '''Chris:''' I am going to improve on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you haven't yet, so... why would I believe you now?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long silence]'' Okay, you have every right to question that, but... please believe me, I mean, ya know, one thing that- ya know, I would be, I would be ''glad'' to be there for you, but... I don't know your address.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter, you should be able to be there for me otherwise. You haven't earned that address. I mean, is that really all you've got? I mean... and after that comic, how wo- why would I want to give you my address? You're just going to shoot [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] or me anyway!
 '''Chris:''' I, I promise you, I would not shoot anybody for real. I do not even own a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' Doesn't mean you couldn't get one, I could get a gun and I don't own one.
 '''Chris:''' I do not, I have no intention on getting a real gun in the near future.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, but it's so easy to get guns, do you remember the Virginia Tech shooter? It's easy. Doesn't matter, all you need to do is get mad again, then you'll just ignore me anyway.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you that I would not ignore you in the future, even when I get- even when I get... riled up, and angry and [mumbling], I would not ignore you.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, you've ignored me enough, don't you think it might be a little too late? I mean, that comic really scared me, I mean, I'm pretty sure... you shot him in the comic so he couldn't follow and take me back. I mean, that's just ''creepy''. That's psychotic. That's delusional.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I, I agree with you, that... I may have some issues to resolve with Chris. Like, you know, I definitely should... like, you know, try... to sit in front of him...
 '''Chris:''' ...and discuss things, calmly...
 '''Kacey:''' You think he's gonna do that after he saw that comic?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, obviously he definitely has other skeletons in his closet-
 '''Kacey:''' This isn't about him; this isn't about him. This is about you. And I'm tired of you talking bad about him.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yeah. I don- I don't like talking bad about people, but-
 '''Kacey:''' But you do all the time!
 '''Chris:''' Well, only... just, only- ok, well.
 '''Kacey:''' Tell me again why you think you're better than him. Go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm- because I'm loyal.
 '''Kacey:''' You're not very loyal; you haven't called me. You're not very honest; you lie to me all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Because I tell you- I tell you everything I'm- from my heart. And [when] I tell you I love you, I mean it.
 '''Kacey:''' That's lying. You can't even send me a simple email to make sure I'm OK. Like, I don't think you get how hurt and angry I am, so no, I want something that you're better at him at that is real, because your lies come from your heart too.
 '''Chris:''' [Stuttering incoherently for a rebuttal] Ok, I have made the mistake of lying at-
 '''Kacey:''' A lot.
 '''Chris:''' A lot, a lot, but a lot of the things that I have told you, in the past, were true. I swear, I have told you a lot of truth like you know, like when I tell you about myself on the kind of person I am, those are true. And how I feel about you, that's true, too.
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that?
 '''Chris:''' And my hit-
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know you're not just ready to drop me, because it's easier, or something stupid?
 '''Chris:''' Because... we started out as friends, and I in-
 '''Kacey:''' That's right, friends.
 '''Chris:''' Well, hang on, hang on! We started out as friends with the possibility of a relationship, and I would like a relationship.
 '''Kacey:''' How would we start off as friend with the possibility of a relationship? You lied to me the first time you talked to me.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did the things-
 '''Kacey:''' You pretended to be my boyfriend, my fiance.
 '''Chris:''' OK, I did pretend to be Chris. But that was in the case, to let you know, that he was who you- he was not who you thought he was. You know, he was- He ''was'' pretending to be me.
 '''Kacey:''' He wasn't pretending to be you! This is what I don't get. Stop saying he's pretending to be you. Just 'cause you guys have the same name doesn't mean he was pretending to be you, because you two are two totally different people.
 '''Chris:''' OK, yes, we are two totally different people, and I can list the whole number of things that I am and he's no- that he's not that he claims.
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can list the whole things he does that you can't. He can play guitar. He doesn't lie to me. He jogs with me. He does stuff with me. He doesn't sit around and play video games. He has a job. He has a college education. He goes to school. I mean, wh- the hell? I mean, c'mon. Do it, do it. Sho- Tell me. Tell me what's he's not doing and I bet you I can refute everything.
 '''Chris:''' ''[stutters, then sighs]''
 '''Kacey:''' So you don't have anything, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, I can definitely tell you that he did not go to Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is he's in school now. And that he's gonna make himself better.
 '''Chris:''' He is... yes he is, okay, he is...
 '''Kacey:''' His high s- I told you before, high school doesn't matter to me, it's stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Well, you get your education through high school. You need your high school diploma to move on to college...
 '''Kacey:''' Not really, anyone can get their GED and blaze through it. What matters even more than high school education is like your SATs and your ACTs. College is what's important to me. Because that shows a future. I mean, I bet you don't even know what a GED is.
 '''Chris:''' I do know, I have a general idea of what a GED is.
 '''Chris:''' It's a sort of degree.
 '''Kacey:''' ...No... It's... in place of a diploma. I mean, did you even take the SAT?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I did take the SAT in high school.
 '''Kacey:''' What was your scores?
 '''Chris:''' ...I do not remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh come on, you've got to remember. Nobody forgets their SAT scores.
 '''Chris:''' It, uh, with a small detail like that, and I felt it was small... it was in one ear and out the other.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, was it- was it above 1100? Was it above 1200? Was it above... anything like that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mmm... Ah, yeah, I think it, I think it was... over 1100. [long pause] But that's to the best of my recollection. [[Lie|I swear]].
 '''Kacey:''' So you had something over 1100, but you went to a community college. I mean, did- did you even try to get into a university? Not that I'm saying community colleges are bad, but, come on.
 '''Chris:''' I did- yeah well, yeah, my mom and dad advised me to go ''to'' the community college, because my family could not afford university.
 '''Kacey:''' That's... my- okay, okay, first off... you're on [[Monthly tugboat|disability]]. Government would have paid for your schooling, the end. That's just being lazy. Um, number two, financial aid and student loans. That would have been all on you, not on them. And the thing is, you... should at ''least'' have transferred to university ''after'' the community college cause community college is a stepping stone. Yes, it's a great way to get your classes for cheaper, but then you ''have'' to go to university to get, like, a bachelor's. I mean, did you even look into that?
 '''Chris:''' That had not come to mind. By the way, I ca- by the way, just to let you know, I did check with my mom and dad, I mean... yes, they were in for, of the, of the financial aid, but they...
 '''Kacey:''' Well then your parents should have done something about that, that just shows your parents didn't care about your future either. But it's not up to them. You should have done it, why didn't you use it? ''[talking over Chris]'' I wish I'd had financial aid right way.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Look. I would have taken the financial aid if I-if I could, but my mom and dad, there was a whole lot of stress going on in just starting out at the community college...
 '''Kacey:''' But you still... should have been able to do it later... ''[Chris stutters]'' Don't you overtalk me! Don't overtalk me. That's the thing, it's always stress, it's always stress this stress that. It...doesn't...''matter''. You should have been able to do something ''afterwards''. Even if you didn't do it right away, you should have been able to go to a four-year university afterwards, and gotten something better than just a little [[CADD]] certificate...whatever. An associate's doesn't do ''shit.'' I'm... I mean, like, I'm sick and tired of hearing you use the word "stress." You don't know stress. We've been through this before. You ''don't know'' what stress is.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I will not disagree with you...but on the...
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn ''straight'' you're not gonna disagree with me because you know I'm right! You don't have a job, you don't even- you don't have job stress. You...You sit around, play video games, and get... ''money''. If your life was a hundred times more stressful than it is now, you still wouldn't have as much stress as I do, you wouldn't have as much stress as...my ''[[Chandler cats|cat]]'', probably.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, y-you're probably right.
 '''Kacey:''' You're damn straight I'm right! I mean, you take days off where you don't do anything except color or play video games. ''[pause]'' I mean, I don't think you get... that all you have shown me the whole time I've known you, is that you don't want to do anything unless it's easy. You want everything to be handed ''to'' you. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of ambitious. Why would I want someone like that?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah, you're right. I would not want, uh... I would, if I was to... go out with a woman, I, ah, would want one who was a go-getter. And you...
 '''Kacey:''' But the thing is, don't you think go-getters want ''other'' go-getters? Why would I want someone who's just gonna lay at home and suck up my money? I mean, cause that's all it would be, instead of sucking up the government's money you'd be sucking up my money. And, uh, I'm not sure I'd like that. At all. I mean, I don't want to have to take care of someone until I have kids, and you're ''definitely'' not my kid.
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' I can definitely, be able- I can definitely take care of myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No you can't! You don't have a job. Can't take care of yourself without a job. My job is hanging on a thread, and I'm still doing way better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, you're doing... way better than me. You know a lot more than I do.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, seriously, tell me: without your parents, could you survive?
 '''Chris:''' I would do my best to survive, and... I think I would get by.
 '''Kacey:''' Really. Your best. Because, I mean... what kind of bills do you think need to be paid off every month?
 '''Chris:''' ''[long pause]'' Yeah... electric, water, heating... that sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[pause]'' Um, how about car insurance? Um, [[Television|cable?]]
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, car, um...
 '''Kacey:''' Rent? Property? You got taxes? Um, trash pickup if you have trash? Recycling if you have recycling? Oh, and don't forget any repairs.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, there is all that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how much do you get a month again? Like, what, 600?
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm ge- I'm getting... about 800 a month right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Still, my bills are slightly larger than that. I mean, you couldn't survive on your own. And, I mean, these are my bills with ''roommates.'' I don't think you could survive without your parents. You can't even move out! And even if you could move out, you wouldn't have anybody to move out ''with''! That's, that's insane!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is insane. And I...
 '''Kacey:''' Then why haven't you done something about it?! I have been living out on my own since I was eighteen, nineteen. You are twenty-seven! And you haven't moved out yet!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well one reason is- yeah, I don't have anybody to move out... with.
 '''Kacey:''' I moved out with ''nothing.'' I moved out with no job, hardly any money, without a car, and I still survived. And I got myself a job, and I got myself a car.
 '''Chris:''' Well I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, find someone, there's people in craigslist, the newspapers, um universities, everywhere. You can find something. You can find someone who, will just rent a room. And then you don't even need to be around that person. I mean, Hell, you could probably get housing.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, [stutters] That's true, but ah... If I move out that's actually- I think I could be able to move out.. with my girlfriend. I don't, I mean, I wouldn't want just some other, I don't think- I just wouldn't feel comfortable-
 '''Kacey:''' [cuts in] But be realistic Chris, I mean.
 '''Chris:''' with some kind of stranger...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to know how to live on your own before you go into a relationship. Because if you go straight into, living out with a relationship, it's going to put a strain on there. I mean, you need to know how to deal with strangers, you need to know how to live on your own. I mean if you can't take care of yourself, you can't expect to be in a relationship. You'll just drag it down. Besides, I mean, you shouldn't move out with someone right away anyway, so you should probably live on your own first. I mean, besides, if you keep acting the way you're acting, you aren't likely to get a girlfriend anyway. Besides, if you had your own place to be, it'd be easier, because then there'd be a place for her to move and normally it's the girl who moves in with the guy. [obvious sounds of Kacey being tired from wailing on Chris so much] And ''besides,'' if you can't-
 '''Kacey:''' even take care of that, how do you expect to take care of a daughter... Which you keep dreaming about. I mean, are you expecting to just marry someone rich?
[''slight pause'']
 '''Chris:''' No, I do not... I- [cut off by Kacey]
 '''Kacey:''' Then how are you gonna take care of her? How are you gonna take care of a daughter?
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris_and_Reality|One day at a time.]]
 '''Kacey:''' No, there is no one day at a time. You-You... There is no one day at a time. You do that, you're going to [[Obesity|starve.]] You need ''plans.'' I mean, that's like Alcoholics Anonymous, that's not living.
 '''Chris:''' [[Alcohol|Well, I mean, at least I don't go out and get drunk every night.]] I don't do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know what, at least those drunks could pay for their drinks. You couldn't even do that! I mean, are you just trying to make yourself look good?
 '''Chris:''' [incoherent mumbling, sounds like he's repeating what Kacey just asked him] Yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, stop! It's-It's... I mean, that's- uh, that's stupid!
 '''Chris:''' Well, wait, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' You're comparing apples to oranges!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, wait, maybe I'm misunderstanding the ques- maybe I misunderstood the question. You just said, I mean, I thought you said, uh, "[...]trying to make myself look good."
 '''Kacebr>/font>
br>y:''' Yeah, you're just trying to make yourself look good by comparing yourself to someone you think is worse than you. But, I mean, you're not going to be able to always do that. That's not adult.
 '''Chris:''' [completely skipping over the latter half of her last statements] Oooh, yeah, okay, yeah, now I understand. I just, mm... okay. Mmmm... Yeah. Mmm... Yeah, but, that is, uh, that is kind of a lame deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, at this point, they're probably better than you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're pro'lly- Yeah... You're right. A lot of people are better than me. Uh... In situations of being able to take care of him or herselves... Themselves.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, so obviously you're never gonna be able to take care of anyone. Why would girls want that? Girls want [[Liquid_Chris|real men.]] They want somebody who's gonna give them comfort and security. Not saying that the girl shouldn't be making money, too, and helping out, but I mean, nobody wants somebody who's just going to, [scoff] to, just, lay there and do nothing!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, oh-kay, look at what I'm being offered with Chris. Look at what I'm being offered with you. If you were me, what would you do?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... Yeah... Probably go to one that's better. But... Lemme just ask you- I mean, I know it's not about Chris, lemme ask you, have you actually ''checked'' his back- his background and actually seen where he works?
 '''Kacey:''' ''Yes!'' And that's why he- I know he's honest with me! And it doesn't matter anyway, you just said it's not about him, but then you made it about him. I mean, I've been to a company lunch with him.
 '''Chris:''' Well, um, I was just askin'. I was just askin'.
 '''Kacey:''' So, I mean, seriously, once again, I mean, who do you think would be the better one?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, [[Liquid_Chris|him.]]
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, so why-why do you think I would even give you a chance after all the lies and all the ch-shit you put me through? You ignored me.
 '''Chris:''' I lis- I listen to your every word, I ''did...'' I-I-Okay, well...
 [''Chris and Kacey talk over each other, Kacey comes out victorious'']
 '''Kacey:''' If you listen to it, you definitely didn't do anything about it. I mean, stop lying.
 '''Chris:''' I have been exercising, I have been... going out walking and jogging.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, for five minutes. Not good enough. Totally not good enough.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, not good en-could be better. Could be better.
 '''Kacey:''' Could be ''a LOT'' better. I mean, working is not good enough if you don't push yourself. Then you're not really working on it. Then you're just kinda coasting through it. You're just kinda being half-assed. Do I really seem like the girl who needs someone half-assed?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're not the... kinda girl that would want somebody who's... half-assed.
 [''21 second pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just... [sigh] Right now, in my eyes, you're just a horrible human being. You leech off [[Monthly_Tugboat|everyone.]] And I can't stand that, for one, you don't even know the principles of your religion right, which is extremely important to me. You've insulted and hurt my fiancé beyond anything, then you've insulted and hurt me, you've ignored me, you think ''he's'' more important, you've disrespected everyone on [[Twin_Falling_Towers|9/11,]] when, of course, nothing touches YOU, you insulted my father, you insulted my family... You- I mean, you compared my grandmother dying to a [[Patti-chan|DOG.]] A ''dog.'' A mangy, dirty dog. I mean. Oh. My. [[Godjesus#Concept_of_God_.28or:_GodJesus.29|GOD.]]
 '''Chris:''' [obviously jumping over everything Kacey just said yet again] Patti was not a mangy, dirty dog... She was a member of my family.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well, that still doesn't mean that she's like my grandmother dying in a terrorist attack. She still a damned dog. I mean, I love my cats and everything, but they're still cats! She was still a damn dog. I mean, fuck you for even COMPARING that to my grandmother dying.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well- kay...
 '''Kacey:''' You don't understand life, you don't understand [[Chris_and_Death|death,]] obviously.
 '''Chris:''' I do understand death. It hurts...
 '''Kacey:''' The thing is, you don't understand. I mean, you're not even going to live to see thirty. Why would I wanna be with someone who I know is going to be dead in four years? Three years? I mean... [sigh] I wouldn't even give you five years. My family hates you, you're lying to me, you're nasty to my friends, you lie to my friends. I mean, don't think I don't know that you don't lie to Kim. Don't think I don't know that you don't lie to me! I don't think you'd have luck with anyone, to tell you the truth. So you can not tell me that you want me to be with you or that you love me because you're just gonna die wasting your life playing video games and doing nothing. I mean, even though a [[CADD]] degree isn't much, you haven't done anything with it. You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want. You definitely didn't fight for me, so you know what? I don't need this at all. This is totally not what I need. I mean, fuck you, I don't even wanna be friends, because you are a total waste of space. I mean, you disrespect everyone. And you know what? I'm getting married tomorrow, 2PM. You know what, and it's all thanks to you, cause if it weren't for you being such an [[Nudes|ass,]] I wouldn't see what a great person Chris is and how much he really does love me 'cause I had someone to compare him to, who doesn't give a [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shit]] about me, who only loves his video games and himself. So you know what? You- Just- You know what? I don't even care because I don't even have anything to say to you because you know what, won't hurt about this, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|you'll be over this by tomorrow]]. I will never see anything that shows you're even hurt by this or you even care! So you know what, I'm going to go ahead and get married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead. I mean, I'd recommend talking to someone about that. Y'should probably call up, you know, an institution, therapy, something, because, I mean, you're gonna be the five- doing the same thing in five minutes. I bet you I will never be mentioned again by you. You're not gonna be upset. You're not gonna do anything. I bet you anything I'm gonna see a new video being like, "Oh, who the hell was Kacey? I'm going after..." I don't even care anymore. I. Don't. Care. I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy, so you know what? Go do whatever because you know what, just fuck you, you're just gonna go off with someone else because, I mean, you've already shown me that, you've already shown me that, sooo... Have fun making a video about meeting a new girlfriend, because I'm done.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh...
 '''Kacey:''' Peace out.
 [''tape ends'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]|nextlink=[[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]|Final]]}}

==External links==

[http://www.mediafire.com/download/1d241aekda9c2ce/111009theendforreal.mp3 Download call (MP3)]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2014-05-30T06:39:16Z

Export A: Added Video

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey & Liquid Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Ep6VulN-QdM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]; [[Liquid]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Father Call]]
| next = [[The End For Real (Kacey call)]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' [[Kim]] and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time ly, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Video==
br>/font>
you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.033FF">'''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And mbr>y name is Christian, and I'll thank you to call me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! You're 27, why do you br>font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. A/font>
re you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barb called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barb and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' No, Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barb that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/?08ro202hlz9pzlk the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5LnjUqby4 the call on YouTube]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Father Call

2014-05-29T08:26:00Z

Export A: Added Video

[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of <s>Guile</s> Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]

On the fourth of [[November 2009|November, 2009]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Solid Chris]] spent a little over two hours on the phone one night with '''[[Trolls|Matthew Devoria]]''' (born [[1957]]), father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]]. Matthew is apparently a retired [[Wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine]] who served in the [[Wikipedia:Gulf War|Gulf War]].

Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the father of a heartsweet by boasting of his now legendary [[honest content|honesty]], before flimsily attempting to defend himself from an angry father.

Their conversation is illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matthew berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], inability to grow up, [[chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], and general failure at life. It is unlikely that Chris will take any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart, as he retorts by saying that he leads a [[lie|hard life]], which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial chores]], mowing the lawn, which he uses a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawn mower]] to do, and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homo|shoving vegetables down his throat]].

After being berated with insults for two hours, [[stress]] overcame him and Chris became increasingly more [[chris and anger|upset]]. In general, Chris greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which ended equally poorly.

==Summary==
* Throughout the call, ''Portal'' is occasionally heard in the background.
* The call begins with Chris talking to Kacey and making some rather dubious sounding claims about his weight-lifting prowess. Kacey doesn't bother to question Chris on the truth of these claims, and instead hands the phone over to her father, Matthew.
* Matthew is fairly civil toward Chris to begin with, though it's immediately obvious that Matthew doesn't have much respect for him. Matthew begins by calling out Chris on his underwhelming employment record, and tells him that no sane employer would take his claim of being a Pokemon Gym Leader seriously.
* Upon being questioned as to the source of his monthly income, Chris reveals his [[autism]] and the corresponding [[monthly tugboat]]. Matthew asks if any hypothetical children of Chris and Kacey would also be autistic (or "'tard babies" to use Matthew's phrasing), and while Chris denies that they would be, Matthew checks with Kacey, who confirms that autism is more often than not genetic. This is the first of several times Chris [[lie]]s during the call, and while Matthew goes easy on him this time, he won't be so generous when Chris does it again.
* Chris reveals his dream about God promising him a daughter named Crystal. Not only does Matthew consider the idea of God sending Chris messages to be blasphemous, he doesn't even like Crystal as a name and thinks it's more appropriate for a stripper.
* After indirectly confirming to Matthew that he was interested primarily in Kacey for her looks, Chris is questioned on why [[Liquid Chris]] (who Matthew will sing the praises of many times during the call) was impersonating him. Solid Chris's response is to claim that Liquid was jealous of his success with [[Sonichu]]. Matthew is at first completely bewildered as to why Chris is spending so much time on Sonichu, before using it to make the point that Chris has completely failed to move on from his teenage years.
* The tone of the conversation takes a significant turn for the worse when Matthew brings up the subject of [[Twin Falling Towers|Chris's little 9/11 video]], and says that he found it especially offensive, since his mother (Kacey's grandmother) was one of the casualties in the World Trade Center that day. Chris's only response is to say the video was really [[Clyde Cash]]'s fault, because he was being mean to Chris.
* Chris tries to elicit sympathy by claiming to have undergone "war-like tribulations" in his life. Matthew tells Chris what war is ''actually'' like, recounting his Gulf War experiences, particularly an incident where he had to carry a dead colleague back to base. Chris retracts his statement about his problems being "war-like," but carries on whining about the hard burdens he's had to deal with, including having to pull up weeds, mow the lawn, move furniture, and bury his beloved [[Patti Chandler|dog]]. Matthew is even more offended by the insinuation that this is equal to the death of his mother.
* Chris doesn't let the fact that his attempts to earn sympathy aren't working discourage him, and rants semi-coherently about how the evil [[troll]]s have [[Kick the Autistic|made his life a misery]]. Not only does this self-pitying whining severely annoy Matthew, Chris unwittingly digs himself a deeper hole by revealing his [[Ohio trip|road trip to Ohio]] in the [[Julie]] saga, causing Matthew to angrily question him on why he won't come to D.C. to meet Kacey.
* Matthew accuses Chris of acting like a child, and mentions the state of [[Chris's room]] (as seen in [[Tour of Chris's House|the tour]] of [[14 Branchland Court]]) as proof that he's lazy and unwilling to take responsibility. Chris just tries to blame [[Barb]] for not helping him, causing Matthew to sarcastically comment on his lack of maturity, only for Chris to miss the sarcasm and think Matthew is actually agreeing with him.
* In an unbelievably insensitive move even by his standards, Chris tries to compare the effort that tidying his house would entail with the effort Matthew spent carrying his dead colleague back to base. Matthew is ''furious'' at this comparison, and gets Kacey back on the phone to tell her how full of shit Chris is. Kacey tells Chris that he needs to respect Matthew more, before handing the phone back to her father.
* An off-hand remark about the library leads Matthew to question Chris on his reading habits. Chris says that the last book he read was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''... and then starts describing the plot of ''Of Mice and Men''. Upon having this pointed out, Chris remembers which book he's talking about and gives a vaguely correct description of the plot, but seems to have only read (or paid attention to) the first half of the story.
* Matthew says that Kacey reads books like Chris stuffs candy down his throat, and Chris ''completely'' misses the point and angrily claims he has a healthy lifestyle. Matthew thoroughly mocks Chris's lack of basic comprehension skills, and challenges him to produce a video of himself exercising in order to prove his obviously false claims of being healthy.
* Returning to the subject of Crystal, Matthew asks Chris how he intends to support himself, Kacey and a child on his monthly tugboat and a minimum wage job. Chris tries to claim that $8/hour is plenty for a family of three, to which Matthew points out that not only is that amount of money nowhere near enough, the minimum wage is actually $7.25/hour. Chris takes a sneering tone during this debate, only serving to piss Matthew off even more, and causing Kacey to again tell Chris to respect Matthew. By this point Kacey is getting pissed off with Chris's disrespect and clear failure to listen to her advice.
* Matthew again questions Chris on his lifestyle, and asks him to take his pulse. Chris discovers his pulse to be eighty-four per minute; Kacey overhears this and tells Chris that with his history of heart trouble, such a pulse indicates a serious problem. Chris doesn't seem at all bothered by this, which really annoys Kacey and causes her to storm off.
* Chris bizarrely attempts to make himself look better by boasting that he's American born and bred, and has never even left the country, somehow thinking this will impress a man who fought in Iraq. Matthew points out that not only is this irrelevant since Kacey and Liquid Chris are also American, true patriots don't make videos mocking 9/11.
* Matthew decides to test Chris's memory and asks him various details about Kacey; Chris gets her favorite color vaguely right, has no idea what her favorite flower is, and takes forever to remember which of her family members died on 9/11. Matthew tells Chris that he must be [[naive]] to think he would have any chance with Kacey; Chris gets ''really'' annoyed by Matthew's usage of the word "naive" and actually implies that he would try to kick Matthew's ass were they in the same room. At least until Matthew reminds him which of the two was formerly in the USMC, causing Chris to quickly backtrack on his threats.
* Out of nowhere, Chris suddenly brings up his experience of being restrained by his Elementary School principal and teachers. This is probably yet another attempt to gain sympathy, but Matthew just considers it more evidence that Chris has serious problems, and points out how hypocritical it is for him to accuse Liquid of being the crazy one.
* Matthew brings up Chris's first meeting with Kacey (and her sister), and accuses him of acting in an inappropriately "touchy-feely" manner, which Chris just flat-out denies being true. This leads into Matthew questioning Chris on where he would take Kacey on a date, and in turn how much he would tip the server. Chris's response indicates that he believes the "15% rule" to be a cast-iron rule, rather than just a rough guideline for tipping.
* Chris abruptly attempts to end the call, partly because of how late at night it is, but also because he thinks Matthew is being disrespectful to ''him''. Kacey comes back one last time and rails at Chris for being disrespectful and generally full of shit; Chris doesn't give a clear answer to any of her accusations, resulting in her storming out of the call for good. The tape runs out before the call actually ends, but it's clear by now that Chris has fucked up, big time.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Father Call
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|8-tcXYT8zqg}}
| Stardate = 4 November 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 24]]
| next = [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]
}} </center>

===Matthew makes the scene===

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house cause, um, they wanted to call 'cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter...

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right. Actually, I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did 51 reps with, uh, fifty-pound weights...not really weights, but...

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times each arm, so it's a total of 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hm. Well, was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny, 'cause I have to lift, like... 100 or more pounds for my job but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad, because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, what's his name? ...Okay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Matthew? Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' All right.

'''Kacey:''' All right well just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''Pause'']

'''Matthew:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, s- good evening, sir, how are you?

'''Matthew:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm doing good.

'''Matthew:''' Good, good... So, uh... So, I've got a couple of questions for you... Well, more than a couple.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an an- with an [[honest content|honest]] answer.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, well uh, first and foremost, let's see... You got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Not currently, but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]]. I have been filling out applications left and right.

'''Matthew:''' Really, really, what kind of places? What kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, w- yeah, I'm looking a- I'm applying for, like, uh- retail stores and such, I've got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at [[Wal-Mart]], and had one over at [[Target]]... I have worked before, I've worked at [[Wendy's]] in Ruckersville for a few months... First off, I worked off as a sales representative for [[Cutco]] cutlery.

'''Matthew:''' Right, that's minimum wage stuff... Did you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Graphic and Design]].

'''Matthew:''' And you're working at...''Target''... I mean, I know the economy's bad, but I mean...surely, you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? ...How old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27...sir.

'''Matthew:''' You're almost ''thirty'' and you're working at, uh...''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hm...yeah, well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh...degree and certificate would get me, but I mean, like, you know... but I mean, if I- if I did know, then I'd certainly strike up on the job...

'''Matthew:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get...in that field, and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Uh... I graduated in 2006.

'''Matthew:''' 2006, so you've had it for three years and you have done nothing with it... Hm, you haven't had any jobs between then?

===Pokémon volunteer and Chris's home===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had- I did- I have done volunteer work... Uh...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' All right, yeah, well, I have the- I helped the children over at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Citizens' Gym League]] for the [[Pokémon]] Trading [[Card games|Card Game]] league a few years back...

'''Matthew:''' ''Pokémon''? Wait, wait, that...

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, build decks from what scraps they had, make sure they kept in order, don't get too crazy...

'''Matthew:''' And...how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Matthew:''' How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that ''Pokémon'' thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' That was the late 90s.

'''Matthew:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' And- um- that's still going strong. Maybe I-

'''Matthew:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' ...And I have been doing that from 1998 'till about 2008. So about ten years I've been doing that.

'''Matthew:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for ten years.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah, but also, like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

'''Matthew:''' Babysitting... but doesn't babysitting usually, you know, pay? And, I mean, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work, I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and really helping people, planting trees, that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have- I have been- I have helped people out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind...knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure children were playing and were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

'''Matthew:''' And...but...are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore?

'''Chris:''' Ummm...yeah, I was kinda like, uh, you know, uh, not so good at showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but, you know, we gotta move on. But anyway, aside from that, I...I've been searching and, uh, doing yardwork for my family and other sorts of...heavy lifting.

'''Matthew:''' Right, right... Well, anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, ''Pok-e-man'' now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|two-story house]] with my [[mother]] and my [[father]].

'''Matthew:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] ''Almost'' 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but it's like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the, uh, for a while.

'''Matthew:''' And, uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' 'Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

'''Matthew:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20... I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college, but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...yeah. But, you know, to each their own individual growth rates.

'''Matthew:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask, though... I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:''' Yes, yes, I am serious about Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Okay so...uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my- of the house.

'''Matthew:''' ...With her help?

'''Chris:''' ...And get a place of my own...

'''Matthew:''' You need her help in order to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like, you know...um... Some details I'm not understand... I talk to my parents sometimes about that, but it's like, uh, you know...uh...I...it's like a...whole bunch of details...you know...yeah.

'''Matthew:''' EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need like, you know, external influence, you know, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

'''Matthew:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, you know, just go to any college board, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...but still, I mean, that's not...

'''Matthew:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with, since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know...I keep between myself...

'''Matthew:''' So, but I mean really, if you can't s-s- If you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.

===Financial Situation and Crystal the 'Tard-baby===
'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself, you know, like that uh...

'''Chris:''' I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, then t-then then why aren't you? I mean, where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do have, I do have a- I do have a- a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]]. I get, uh--

'''Matthew:''' Do you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I get it fro- yeah, pretty much- I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

'''Matthew:''' S-s-so w-why do you- why do you get welfare? Mi-might I ask? Or, whatever you call it. Um...

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of, uh, me movin- me moving out and- and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel like, and I feel that I could, that when- that- I could- I would be able to take care of Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

'''Matthew:''' Are you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

'''Matthew:''' So, ah...isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

'''Matthew:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want 'tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

'''Matthew:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

'''Matthew:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar... I can promise you that.

'''Matthew:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also...

'''Matthew:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.

'''Chris:''' [''In a relatively quiet sigh''] Great.

'''Kacey:''' Anything else, Dad?

'''Matthew:''' Ah...no, I think that's good, yeah, you go... What were you doing again?

'''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes. I'll be right back, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' I think there's some cake down there, too. Go help yourself or something.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see... If you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]].

'''Matthew:''' A dream...as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

'''Matthew:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, Cri-STAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne...

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be Cri-STAL, it would be Cri-STUL. Does that make sense?

'''Matthew:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-I-S-T-L-E, you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but even so...you said this all came to you in a dream...dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Texas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

'''Matthew:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic dreams and Bob Chandler===
'''Matthew:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in...

'''Matthew:''' That sounds like being a prophet to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

'''Matthew:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or...and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

'''Matthew:''' Naaaah... if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

'''Matthew:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

'''Matthew:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from god, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

'''Matthew:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]...

'''Matthew:''' And you hold onto this dream...I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know...time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

'''Matthew:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|draw and color]]. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I [[Medallions of Fail|sculpt]]. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|technologically smart]]. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

'''Matthew:''' So...why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

'''Matthew:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father...but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

'''Matthew:''' But...you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. That's not good, son. I mean, when I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...umm...yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand...talking about...and, you know, and your point.

'''Matthew:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.

===Kacey's boobs and Internet fame===
'''Matthew:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

'''Matthew:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.

'''Matthew:''' ''[extremely uncomfortable laughter]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm- she could be smarter than me [[Ego|on some things]].

'''Matthew:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny...

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

'''Matthew:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little..."encounter," we'll call it...she said she was a little bit...uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently when you first talked to her, you actually were [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, that [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

'''Matthew:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend [[Kim]], she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

'''Matthew:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now...he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

'''Matthew:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm Internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh...it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books...I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

'''Matthew:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so...you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

'''Matthew:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for...what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

'''Matthew:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...

'''Matthew:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together... making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, Internet, and I became Internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah...

'''Matthew:''' Don’t you... don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about... I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish... yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got Internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the Internet bullies and trolls... and, uh... and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh...

'''Matthew:''' This... okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this Internet, I mean you just, all this Internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just... this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.

===Twin Falling Towers and getting fired===
'''Matthew:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... okay... you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam... that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

'''Matthew:''' But... and then what- and then YOU, you made this... Son-ni-chu thing. I mean... it’s like... ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing... that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um... you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah... 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean... that kinda hits... that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have... I put that...

'''Matthew:'''You’re lucky I don’t... you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my... I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother... y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um... I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser Internet [[troll]], who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is Gregg Mays, and...

'''Matthew:''' You made a video...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had...

'''Matthew:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some... GUY... on the Internet... that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm... yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the Internet, trying to... you know... y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name... And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off...

'''Matthew:''' Okay, let me ask you... let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I... [''trails off with a faint groan''] Yeah, but anyway,

'''Matthew:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

'''Matthew:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day.

'''Matthew:''' ...Uh-huh. Really. That’s...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' ...That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That... are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:'''No, no I'm not changing-

'''Matthew:''' Are you just making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...

'''Matthew:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me...

'''Matthew:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

'''Matthew:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my...

'''Matthew:''' That's...this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something...

'''Matthew:''' Why do you [[sigh]] so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me...

'''Matthew:''' [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.

===Maturity, and [[chores]]===
'''Matthew:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little...your voice is all wavery...good lord. You want to date...YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

'''Matthew:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have [[Pokéwalker of Fail|moved on]] from Pokémon [[June 2010|years ago]]! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

'''Matthew:''' No, you didn't move from...you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of...enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine...

'''Matthew:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is...

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

'''Matthew:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like...

'''Matthew:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like...

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

'''Matthew:''' ...until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back...

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

'''Matthew:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

'''Matthew:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay...I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]...

'''Matthew:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' I have not played with Pokémon [[Pokéwalker of Fail|for years]], sir!

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

'''Matthew:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Matthew:''' Guitar Hero.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.

'''Matthew:''' You have to stand up to play ''guitar''! Oh, wow! That's...why don't you...that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

'''Matthew:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

'''Matthew:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know...what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

'''Matthew:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups]] you did, whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a... fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

'''Matthew:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

'''Matthew:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting very angry at this point''] Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.

===Death and fake Internet women===
'''Matthew:''' [''about to break down laughing''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had...I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to...fucking...a plane by fucking...piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my...

'''Matthew:''' And your...but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing... that's nothing...

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you...

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? Are you calling my mother a dog?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

'''Matthew:''' [''[[stress sigh]] of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

'''Matthew:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

'''Matthew:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

'''Matthew:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' And that's just, that's just that...you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|straws]] at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the Internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

'''Matthew:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the Internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women...

'''Matthew:''' BE A MAN...

'''Chris:''' And those [[PandaHalo|two]] [[Ivy|women]] died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that...

'''Matthew:''' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!

'''Chris:''' I, I...I may not admit, okay, well, yes...

'''Matthew:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake...fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't...no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

'''Matthew:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this [[Julie|one time]] where I actually thought it was a woman, and [[Ohio_trip|I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth]] back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.

'''Matthew:''' So you went to go to...Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I... [''angry, incoherent stammering'']

'''Matthew:''' I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.

'''Chris:''' But you're in...

'''Matthew:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

'''Matthew:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''snapping''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!

===The maggot manchild and shit starts to hit the fan===
'''Matthew:''' [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

'''Matthew:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. [[I AM STRONG|I am a STRONG MAN]]. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

'''Matthew:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

'''Matthew:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the Internet. Some lazy little maggot...

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

'''Matthew:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...

'''Matthew:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

'''Matthew:''' Yes-they-are! EVERYONE works around the house.

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...

'''Matthew:''' I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]]. It's a FUCKING MESS! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

'''Matthew:''' Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.

'''Matthew:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate...

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...

'''Matthew:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

'''Matthew:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I...oh! And you don't think...!

'''Matthew:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and you don't think carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden? That was a heavy burden?

'''Matthew:''' What...what the fu...are you mocking me?!

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

'''Matthew:''' Is this...are you comparing...

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under...

'''Matthew:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life...

===Kacey returns===
'''Matthew:''' Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what's up, daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What is...I mean...this guy is just fucking with me...

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

'''Matthew:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...of course, you remember when we lost grandma...

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...

'''Matthew:''' This guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''combative''] I have a lot to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Like what?!

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

'''Matthew:''' I already don't like...

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Kacey:''' What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Well...yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm...I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

'''Matthew:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well...believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

'''Matthew:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the Internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You...are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']
===Literature and health===
'''Matthew:''' And if the Internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the Internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch...yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the Internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

'''Matthew:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Mockingbird}}The last book I read... was ''[[Wikipedia:To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]''.

'''Matthew:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

'''Matthew:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

'''Matthew:''' So what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I... have... learned... that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lenny throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...

'''Matthew:''' That's ''[[Wikipedia:Of Mice and Men|Of Mice and Men]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' Yeeeaaaaah... did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the Depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is... just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

'''Matthew:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who [[Wikipedia:Atticus Finch|Atticus Finch]] was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus... hm... Atticus... hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

'''Matthew:''' Yesss... man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I... I've read it, about a month ago.

'''Matthew:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''Rage button pushed''] Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

'''Matthew:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

'''Matthew:''' And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey says you eat [[McDonald's]]. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

'''Matthew:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, [[Liquid|Chris]] is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

'''Matthew:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

'''Matthew:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

'''Chris:''' Yep!

'''Matthew:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're...[''angry sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after... that was thirty seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

'''Matthew:''' I don't...with that much...? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS...

'''Matthew:''' I'm a Marine. Not after... a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but... how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe... maybe after, I don't know, ten miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about fifteen minutes on a daily basis.

'''Matthew:''' Fifteen minutes. So you go...you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

'''Matthew:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't... you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to video-record five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You can?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

'''Matthew:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

'''Matthew:''' Don't...[''sputters'']... don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

'''Matthew:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's...how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

'''Matthew:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well... yeah, well, I can't...

'''Matthew:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like... half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, you want a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

'''Matthew:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

'''Matthew:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? [[Power|The strong man]] outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' But I...

===Liquid Chris and minimum wage jobs===
'''Matthew:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have... you would be like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

'''Matthew:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]], you're not smarter than Chris.

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!

'''Matthew:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so...you may not think so...

'''Matthew:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on [[YouTube]] where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him...

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.

 '''Matthew:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from [[Wendy's]], most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

'''Matthew:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about $8 an hour.

'''Matthew:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' If you want to do lifting, you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']

'''Matthew:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

'''Matthew:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

'''Matthew:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't lie to me. Look...

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

'''Matthew:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What's this he's talking about... minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

'''Matthew:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it...I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like...

'''Matthew:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.
===Respect and listening skills===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' He's always been... he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

'''Matthew:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

'''Matthew:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the [[True and honest|honest truth]], from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I...wh...no. [''pause''] I, I...[''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so...

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, um, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then...and then he started, he started...

'''Kacey:''' My Dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to [[God]].

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

'''Matthew:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way...

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just...grinded my gears.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

'''Matthew:''' Stop [[sigh]]ing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Didn't you just hear, she... hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...hear her say she was getting off?

'''Matthew:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

'''Matthew:''' This is... this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually, Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

'''Matthew:''' But this is... she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W... well, I'm sorry she's upset.

'''Matthew:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you... you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because...just...you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

'''Matthew:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send... I promise you. I have not been lying.

'''Matthew:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.

===Chris's pathetic life and diseased ticker===
'''Matthew:''' You sit around...what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play [[video games]] again or something?

'''Chris:''' No...

'''Matthew:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your [[Pokemon|Pokeymans]], watch [[TV]]. Sleep. Eat [[McDonald's]]. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

'''Matthew:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...

'''Matthew:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...

'''Matthew:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the Internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just...you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

'''Matthew:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.

'''Matthew:'''/font> Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''3FF">'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...

'''Matthew:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']...

'''Matthew:''' You don't...it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

'''Matthew:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

'''Matthew:''' O... kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that...

'''Matthew:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me...tell me...how about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. [[Obesity|FAT]]. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Buddha belly}}Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

'''Matthew:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for fifteen minutes. That's... that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' Thirty minutes. And compared to...how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

'''Matthew:''' A day. That... I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

'''Matthew:''' Really...because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]]?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' I still don't think you...you still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long... do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...

'''Matthew:''' And play... okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

'''Matthew:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little [[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha belly]] and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

'''Matthew:''' And you just told me fifteen minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, fifteen minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so you don't even run fifteen minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's fifteen, they're, fifteen minutes, they're fifteen-minute intervals, like I do fifteen minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another fifteen minutes of jogging.

'''Matthew:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that...that means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking...

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's...

'''Matthew:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about a hundred beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright... [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that...yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately eighty-four right now.

'''Matthew:''' Eighty-four from just sitting around?

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like [[Wikipedia:arrhythmia|arrhythmia]] or [[Wikipedia:tachycardia|tachycardia]]. What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of [[stress]] from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to [[McDonald's]], and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're thirty.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't... less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!

'''Chris:''' Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore...

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

'''Matthew:''' She's gone again.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

===Chris blows it, but he's an American!===
'''Matthew:''' She was pretty, ah... Let's say you just blew it, man. She was— She was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well...

'''Matthew:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is...that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

'''Matthew:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about— Yes, you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

'''Matthew:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...

'''Chris:''' That's my response— That's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel— I just feel very sad for her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about— You should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, ''really'' turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, fifty pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, ''maybe''.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

'''Matthew:''' And I think she should be with her [[Liquid Chris|real fiancé]] right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like...a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly...as a friend...a true friend, a good friend...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean...

'''Matthew:''' I do know, because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well... Points of view.

'''Matthew:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. [[Autism|Belieeeeeeeeve me.]]

'''Matthew:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image...

'''Matthew:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I...am an [[United_States_of_America|''American'']]! I am proud to be an American and [[I_AM_STRONG|I am ''strong'']]. I am an individual...

[''Portal'' can again be heard faintly in the background]

'''Matthew:''' Don't tell— Don't tell me you're an American.

[''Portal'' can again be heard]

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

'''Matthew:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic... If you were patriotic, you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]]. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't...do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I— At least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am. I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video and making the apology.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans, too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.

===Chris's love and memory===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

'''Matthew:''' And you still made it. You... you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

'''Matthew:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I...I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

'''Matthew:''' You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't... that's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because... I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

'''Matthew:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

'''Matthew:''' I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would...[[CWC is Sad|you'd probably cry]], for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the Internet.

'''Chris:''' [[The Wallflower|No!]]

'''Matthew:''' Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

'''Matthew:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is "tarquoise".

'''Matthew:''' Turquoise? That's... that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 creepy date] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''

'''Matthew:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

'''Matthew:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

'''Matthew:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

'''Matthew:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

'''Matthew:''' No... [''exasperated sigh''] ... no, okay, her grandmother, who is ''my''...?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

'''Matthew:''' How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.

===Matthew crosses the line and Chris's reaction time===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

'''Matthew:''' A preschooler. God. This is... man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so... [[naïve]].

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me...

'''Matthew:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' A line. You crossed the line. You've just... you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

'''Matthew:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' "Nothing at the moment?"

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

'''Matthew:''' Are you... wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to threaten me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I... no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

'''Matthew:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

'''Matthew:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you... I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be...pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

'''Matthew:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spellcheck, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

'''Matthew:''' Making... mistakes...?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

'''Matthew:''' What are you even...?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

'''Matthew:''' Well, I bet that's not the only thing that goes faster than your brain. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't naïve? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

'''Matthew:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel... [[Chris and anger|anger]].

'''Matthew:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

'''Matthew:''' Okay... Here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

'''Matthew:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli... what are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

'''Matthew:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with... I'm sure your "[[autism]]" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.

'''Matthew:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.

===Experience and respect===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had twenty-seven years of experience.

'''Matthew:''' With what? Eating [[McDonald's]] and watching [[TV]]? Son, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had fifty-two years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school... prinstapull... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

'''Matthew:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...

'''Matthew:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

'''Matthew:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I, it was not a retard, no. It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution! But that was not...

'''Matthew:''' Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy... this is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental... if I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

'''Matthew:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']

'''Matthew:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has done nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

'''Matthew:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

'''Matthew:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

'''Matthew:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet twenty-seven years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

'''Matthew:''' And you... and you haven't, she wasn't alive twenty-seven years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole twenty-seven years.

'''Matthew:''' This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

'''Matthew:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person...

'''Chris:''' I do res...I do respect her as a person!

===Chris is creepy and bad at dating===
'''Matthew:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

'''Matthew:''' You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's...that's...that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and kick your ass right now!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!

'''Matthew:''' Her shoulder? You know, that didn't...I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

'''Matthew:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Matthew:''' Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' You trying to tell me that...I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

'''Matthew:''' She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. That's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perf/font> [''chuckles'']

/font> Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.

ume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about... on her.

'''Matthew:''' You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

'''Matthew:''' Have you...have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm...yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

'''Matthew:''' Yes...anything, any of this creepy....shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well...first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...

'''Matthew:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' [[Emily#Kiss_fail|Or even tried to]].

'''Matthew:''' ''Really''?

'''Chris:''' Truly.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? [[Two's company snapshots|Only one]].

'''Matthew:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

'''Matthew:''' And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.

'''Matthew:''' So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.

'''Matthew:''' You can't think of... I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean... I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. I took her to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]], and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

'''Matthew:''' You paid for her. And how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about $10.

'''Matthew:''' $10.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's... $10 for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.

'''Matthew:''' So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

'''Matthew:''' I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

'''Matthew:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip.

'''Chris:''' About 15% or 20%.

'''Matthew:''' So how much did you tip, then, if you paid $10?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15% of $10 is a dollar fifty.

'''Matthew:''' That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, $80 for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm... let's see... that would be about $12.

'''Matthew:''' So you would pay just $12, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.

'''Matthew:''' You could at least... they're not rich either. They still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well... good for them.

'''Matthew:''' You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' You've given me nothing.

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

'''Matthew:''' And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

'''Matthew:''' And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you...

'''Matthew:''' You need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

'''Matthew:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.

===Endgame===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence''] Well... I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

'''Matthew:''' Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

'''Matthew:''' Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's... that's...

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for fifteen to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe...you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

'''Matthew:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. You know that song, that [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|"Whole New World,"]] from that Disney movie? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

'''Matthew:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

'''Matthew:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

'''Matthew:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

'''Matthew:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...

'''Matthew:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the [[Wikipedia:Aladdin (film)|''Aladdin'']] movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than ten times. In my lifetime. At this point.

'''Matthew:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence''] I see.

'''Matthew:''' Well, this, this is really...this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a...I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together.

'''Kacey:''' [''Bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?!

'''Matthew:''' [''Cracks the fuck up'']

'''Kacey:''' You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''Heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess...maybe I did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. You can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing. Where the Hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So you know what? I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the two hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven two hours as well. But I did not know...

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then... and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough. Because you haven't done anything like that. You've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, three songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing for me. Come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the [[stress|STRESS]]. I can't do this. I want a real man.

'''Kacey:''' [''Silence again''] You can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you've done, Chris. Look what you've done!

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's all he can say, I'm done.

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

'''Matthew:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.

'''Kacey:''' I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' [''Silence reigns''] I would like to say...good evening.

'''Matthew:''' So...what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==
*[https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBNloweEFQOElEdjA/edit?usp=sharing Link to MP3 on Google Drive]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ddn91nknqahn87a mp3 of phone call]
*[[Niggo|Niggo-rigged]] audio ripped & combined from YouTube vids in [http://db.tt/vNbYguZ0 OGG] or [http://db.tt/akLWEieq MP3]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhp5WyvPWNI the call on YouTube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]
font color="#009966">'''Matthew:'''

Gun Comic

2014-05-29T07:35:33Z

Export A: /* Marriage */

[[File:Gun Comic Artwork.jpg|thumb|200px|An alternate take at the story.]]
On 8 [[November 2009]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] uploaded a video containing [[comic]] drawn by [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris) which depicted Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Solid comes to her rescue and shoots Liquid in both of his ankles with a handgun. This could be considered a [[Death Threats|threat]] to maim Liquid in real life, which is, of course, [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

The comic, known as '''Sonichu Special 4''', seems to be an adaptation of Solid's [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]] level in ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', lifting most of its dialogue from the earlier production wholesale, including Liquid's awkward shout of, "I will have her! ALIVE!".

The [[Kacey and Liquid Call|resulting event]] caused by this comic exposed a lot of Ian's self-righteousness.
__TOC__
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f2pFBs9U0DE}}
| Stardate = 8 [[November 2009]]
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father|Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father]]
| next = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M CWC-Tok (A Music Score by Christian Weston Chandler, FREE m.p.3. NOW INCLUDED)]
}}

==Plot==
[[Image:bad_chris.png|thumb|256px|Rampant [[Boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend-unfree boys]] related crimes these days... [[Virginia]] is not the exception.]]

The story begins as Ian Brandon Anderson is "rushing at the maximum speed limit of 65 mph" to retrieve his [[sweetheart]] Kacey from "[[CChanSonichuCWC|that lying copycat, Chris]]." Ian doesn't say whether Kacey is in any imminent danger at this point (especially as it takes him about an hour and a half to get to her), but he explains that Liquid Chris "could never truly treat her right," necessitating this rescue mission. It's odd that Ian refuses to break the speed limit to save Kacey's life, when he was willing to make [[death threats]] to recover his PSN accounts.

[[Son-Chu]] arrives at Liquid's hideout and Ian rushes in, demanding that the "damn, dirty troll" give up Ian's chattel. Liquid responds by brandishing a knife and attacking.

Ian dodges the blow, seizes his opponent in what appears to be a surfboard stretch, disarms him, and knocks him to the ground with a kick to the lower back. He then draws a handgun - the [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] toy featured in some of his earlier videos - upon an unarmed and defenseless Liquid and shoots him in both shins. "You'll live," he declares callously, "but never impersonate, or lie that greatly, ever again."

The scene then shifts to Kacey's home, where all is well. Her parents (one of whom resembles the character [[Wikipedia:Guile (Street Fighter)|Guile]] from the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|Street Fighter]]'' video games) shower Ian with admiration, and so do her siblings (one of whom resembles the character Candice from [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Diamond and Pearl|''Pokémon Diamond'' and ''Pearl'']], see a pattern here?), who add that "in comparison, that other guy was a geeky twerp." Ian and Kacey share a kiss and their adventure is over for now.

A close reading of the comic suggests that Ian [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripped off]] elements of ''[[wikipedia:Terminator 2|Terminator 2]]'' for this story. The "maximum speed limit of 65 miles per hour" and kneecapping/"You'll live" scenes look to have had their genesis in similar scenes from the movie, although they've been thoroughly twisted by their trip through Chris's creative process.
{{clear}}
==Marriage==
[[Image:Wedding Photo by Scarlet Rose.jpg|thumb|<3<3<3]]
Liquid also used this video to announce that he and Kacey are getting married.

{{Quote|I am Getting Married to Kacey around 2 p.m. This Wednesday. I Love ya, Baby.|}}

Chris has since [[CWC_is_Sad|tearfully responded]] to the loss of his [[China|true love]]

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:SchuComicSP4P1.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P2.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P3.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P4.jpg
File:SchuComicSP4P5.jpg
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlAOs3z9TFw Alternate music version for those in Germany]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdxn7vR00Rg Audiobook edition]</s> DELETED
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?3eotyjzlrzh Original files]</s> DEAD LINK

{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Special 4|Current]]|}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Kacey Call 24

2014-05-29T07:07:26Z

Export A: Added Video + minor clean up

==Summary==
*[[Chris]] says that his [[mom]] had food poisoning, so they went to a doctor and found out that it wasn't food poisoning. So they went back to the restaurant to complain anyways. Chris says his mom has to be on a diet now. [[Kacey]] suggests that Chris joins her on the diet to support her. Chris starts talking about how he's unsure of the diet and tries to get out of it. I'LL THINK ABOUT IT!
*Chris is amazed that families and friends of cancer patients will shave their heads to support the person with cancer.
*Kacey asks about Chris's [[room]] getting cleaned. Chris is "still working on it!", but [[Kim]] suggested that Chris take his [[Lego]] city apart. Kacey asks for pictures. Chris will think about it.
*Kacey failed a class and lost her [[job]].
*Chris is still trying to get a job at [[Target]], but has applied to two other stores.
*Chris was talking to a girl named Regina, the girl whose father bought Chris's two ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]s. Chris went to meet her, and she didn't show up. Chris got an email stating that [[Gregg Mays]] showed up and sold her guitars instead for half price.
*Chris talks about the [[Emily]] date, and claims that the ''man in the pickle suit'''s name is Harold.
*Chris talks about the [[PVCC]] trolling him, and Kacey says that such an organization doesn't exist and he just thinks too much of himself. Chris says they do it for the [[lulz|L-U-L-Z]] (spells it out).
*Chris gets stressed out when Kacey says that he's not important enough to spend that much effort on.
*Chris claims that he gets lots of emails from men asking him on dates. Kacey says that's a complement, and he doesn't come off as straight. This makes Chris yell in a high pitched voice: "OH JESUS CHRIST! I'M STRAIGHT! WHAT THE HELL!"
*Chris doesn't even open emails anymore.
*'''Kacey says it's common sense to not reply to trolls. Chris says "Let me tell you about common sense," and says that he had sex with a FEMALE BLOW UP DOLL, not a male blow up doll, so it's obvious that he's straight!'''
*Kacey says that Chris should just be bisexual. Chris yells "I HATE LOOKING AT PENISES!"
*Kacey: "I have [[gay]] friends, and they're always grabbing my boobs! It's okay because they're gay!"
*Kacey tells Chris to stop sighing because it makes him sound like a baby. Also to stop saying "whatever." He sighs several times while Kacey talks.
*Chris asks what Kacey wants to talk about, and Kacey says she doesn't care unless Chris can tutor her in her Statistics class. Chris says that he's really good at it and that he can help her with it.
*Kacey says that she has to go.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 24
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|e_sD9CXBaX4}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 23]]
| next = [[Father Call]]
}} </center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good, just a little tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got to agree.
 '''Kacey:''' So how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm fair myself. I just uh, read your email, did you read my reply I sent back to you?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, actually, I did.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, pretty much in a nutshell, that's what's been happening lately.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, that sucks about your mom, I give my condolences, I hope she feels better. But, um... How did they know that she had food poisoning?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that my- That was my father and mine's theory at first, but then you know, we took her to Martha Jefferson, then- and then the doctors classified... classified the ailment as Colitis.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well that's definitely not food poisoning.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean well-
 '''Kacey:''' You guys shouldn't have gone back there to talk to them then, 'cause it's obviously not them...
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm. Yeah, well, I mean, still. Uh, you know, my mom, after today... She was having gut pains, and... Yeah, she was like "Yeah, take the uh, there's the uh, majority of the food I left behind, I had but I had not eaten, so you know, you just take it back to them, and uh, tell 'em what happened," She was like, you know, um, my father and I, we just like, you know, we couldn't do much to respond, you know... Mom was... All up- All up on top of the world here kind of, you know? Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' How long ago did it happen? I mean, did either of you eat it and get sick from it too?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, my father and I did not eat it.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, if she has Colitis she shouldn't be eating food like that, you said it was Chinese, right? I mean, that food's loaded with MSG and salt and fat, that's like the worst thing she could be doing right now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean, I mean, none of us knew about the Colitis yet. So...
 '''Kacey:''' But still, it's definitely not food poisoning, it's her body telling her what she's eating is wrong, like did she get put on a diet?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she can't eat much, uh, salty or sugary foods, or drinks, now.
 '''Kacey:''' No, definitely not, is she sticking to it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she's- Yeah, she just got started on it.
 '''Kacey:''' So then what type of things is she eating?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, you know, just basically, um... I'd say, mostly, um... Fruits and vegetables... Um, I'm not sure what else at the time-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, fruits and vegetables are high in sugar.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should join her in her diet to support her, it could be good for you.
 '''Chris:''' Hm, alright well, I'm not sure- I'm not really sure of, uh, of her diet. But, uh, you know. I can- I can like, you know... Um... I can have her tell me more about it. But right now-
 '''Kacey:''' You should, I mean it's good, you know cancer patients, their whole family shaves their heads, I mean you should totally do it, so that, number one, it'll help you get healthier; Number two, it'll help your mom that you're there for her.
 '''Chris:''' Wait wait wait wait wait... Cancer- Families of cancer patients actually shave their heads?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's a show of soli- You know, togetherness? When the cancer patient goes into Chemo and loses their hair, a lot of family members will do that, you know, to show that they're all together in this.
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Kacey:''' It's pretty inspirational.
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, and all you would have to do is diet.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah... Alright. Yeah, well. Yeah, I'll talk to my more about uh, this diet she's on and uh... I'll see if I can get on that as well. But anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' You totally should.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I- Yeah. But right now she's- Right now she's sleeping. But still you know, I'll talk to her next time she's awake. About that.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely, I think that would be good for you.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' How is your room coming along?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm still working on it, uh... I, uh... Kim and I agreed that, uh... Yeah, Kim convinced me that, you know, I'm planning on uh, taking my city- My Lego city apart, piece by piece, and putting the pieces into... into buckets.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's a good idea.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so I'm gonna start on that- I'm gonna start on that soon enough. But, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' You should take some more pictures and send them to me along with progress, you should probably do it like every other day. I mean, 'cause you were supposed to have this done, I mean how much longer do you think it's gonna take?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' Yeah it'll take me a while longer, plus you know, recent- Plus you know, last weekend I had to worry about my mom being in the- being in the hospital.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' So...
 '''Kacey:''' But you should still push yourself to do it, it'll probably make your mom feel better too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, yeah- I, yeah- I'm going to work on that this week. On that-
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome, don't forget to send me pictures, give me something to get my mind of everything too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Alright. Hm... Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about you possibly losing your job and failing in class, what happened?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, well we have a new manager, and he's just a jerk, and he wants his own people in there, and class, well, I've just been having issues with it, and being able to get to the class, so it's something I can recover, you know, I've just had a lot going on. Especially with work and everything, 'cause sometimes I've had to pick up during the class, and it's just one big mess, but I'm working to fix it and I might have a new job soon.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. well, I hope uh... I hope that, you know, at your next job, you'll be successful. Or like, you know, um... you know, that you'll have it. Hm. Yeah, 'cause I would hate to see you without a job at this point. ''[Pause]'' Oh by the way I still have- By the way, apparently, uh... It's like, you know, I have- um... Yeah I have not heard back from Target, and I called them like, you know, I think it was, yeah, the last... The weekend before this recent weekend. And, I have not heard back. So, it's like, I think it's pretty obvious at this point I did not get a job there, but I'm submitting applications for, uh, places like uh, Barnes & Noble and Sears, even a new CVS that's being built in Ruckersville.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm. Have you heard back from anywhere?
 '''Chris:''' No, not yet. But I- But I, like you know, I'm planning on- I'm planning on checking in with them to see if they got my applications.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Cuz I had to go online to do the applications. For these places. As well. ''(Pause)'' Hm. Yeah. Yeah... but upon- Yeah, let me go- Let me go off-topic here a bit, uh... Yeah, about uh, [[Regina]], the girl I was just telling you about, that uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' ...Whose father I sold two guitars to on eBay. Yeah, I mean like, we were, it was like you know, we were getting along... great, you know I've been mostly telling her about the pos- About my positive characteristics. Not one- Not once mentioning the, uh, trolls or names like [[Gregg Mays]] and whatever. And then, uh... And then... You know like we had the pick-up time scheduled, you know, uh... But, today at two o'clock at the, uh, McDonald's on Barracks Road... But then she doesn't show up, but then I come home and I find the e-mail and it's like, "Oh I get the- Oh, I got the... Oh, I was intercepted by Gregg Mays and he had two- And he had two guitars, with no paint- With all paint and stickers removed. And so, he charged her half price for it. And it was like you know, she thinks as if she still bought it from me, or she's giving off that impression, but... Uhh, but yeah, I'm thinking basically I got troll- I got trolled again. And like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well it sounds like she got trolled too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, or like you- Yeah or like you know, like she's one of the- She's one them, just like, uh... The past time at the mall, I think her name was [[Emily]]. And then we were- And then, uh, being intercepted by Harold, that Guy in the Pickle Suit. Uh... And I think, uh, I think, you know Kim could tell you more about that, you know, there are audio files, you know, that girl had a wire on her. And the, uh, audio-
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know she had a wire on?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Annoyed Sigh)'' Because, the- I found the audio file later, on the, uh... [[Miscreants]] webpage that was originally created by Clyde Cash-slash-Gregg Mays.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh, but anyway, then Kim- Then I talked to Kim about it and she convinces me like, you know, Regina could be just, uh, an innocent victim and it's just a whole bunch of misunderstandings and what-not. So...
 '''Kacey:''' It probably is, Chris, I mean it's not like the whole world's against you. You really don't think that, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. No... I don't think think ''the whole world'' is against me, just some- It's just some of the people- It's just the whole buncha people out of a whole- Out of a big vast majority.
 '''Kacey:''' You really think there's a group devoted to trolling you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim can tell you about that, there's forums and everything.
 '''Kacey:''' Why? I mean, why would a group of people devote themselves to you? I mean, have you ever done anything wrong?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Getting more stressed & whiny)'' I had originally done nothing wrong! As far as I- As far as I know, I-
 '''Kacey:''' But then, why would they be devoted to trolling you?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know why! I don't know why they started... ''[Sigh]'' I don't even know why that- Why the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page got started in the first place. I mean, I mean, other than the fact that they were doing it for the... L-U-L-Z.
 '''Kacey:''' The what?
 '''Chris:''' L-U-L-Z. You know, they call it "LULZ". Or like, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' So... they're doing it for laughs? I doubt there is a group dedicated to trolling you just because it's fun.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, are you telling the truth?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean are you should you didn't do anything to any of them? I think we've talked about this before.
 '''Chris:''' I am telling- I am telling you the truth. I am telling you the truth, Kacey. I swear to [[God]]. And Kim can back you up on that, she can tell you about these forums. And what-not.
 '''Kacey:''' That weird though, that's really weird, I mean are you reall that important?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Offended sigh]'' Hm. Well, I'm internet famous. Uh, for one thing, but, I don't think I would be THAT important, I mean, the way these trolls keep carrying on they make it like I'm as- I'm as important or more important than [[Britney Spears]]! ''[Pause]'' Jeez... ''[Sigh]'' What a mess that- What a mess the whole trolling thing is. ''[Sigh]'' But, I just take it one step at a time, you know, and I'm block- and I'm continuing to uh, block any nay-sayers, that send me negative e-mails. On my- On my- On my AOL address.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, what do you consider a negative e-mail?
 '''Chris:''' Well like you know, people... I- For one thing, here's a... I'm giving you, like, maybe one or two examples of the top of my head upon recollection... Um, one thing is like, you know, the inclination of people... mislabeling me as a [[homosexual]], or... dudes asking me out on a homosexual date, or making me- or asking me to do anything homosexual when I'm not, and it's pretty hard for me to-
 '''Kacey:''' You should take that as a compliment! I mean, maybe you're giving off the wrong impression to them.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stunned)'' What, come on, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you might be attracting these gay people.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Disgusted Sigh)'' But anyway, I'm STRAIGHT. But, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe people don't think that, maybe you're not coming off as that. You ever think about that?
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, come on you know me, I'm- You know I'm straight. And- ''(stammering incoherently)''
 '''Kacey:''' But THEY don't.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Getting angrier)'' Ugh, I've been telling them- I've been telling them NUMEROUS TIMES now in the YouTube videos that I'm straight!
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe they think you're just being shy.
 '''Chris:''' Ahh, THEY'RE STUPID! I-I mean, I even- I even reflected so much about my, uh- About my, uh, how I feel about the homosexuals, I just don't... care that much about them, I just don't wanna get too close to them...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, remember that usually when you protest too much, ''(Chris sighs)'' then it usually is true.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, JESUS CHRIST!
 '''Kacey:''' They just think you're in the closet, I mean, you...
 '''Chris:''' I'M STRAIGHT!!! I'm straight!
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, but you make so many videos about NOT being straight, I mean, it actually HURTS you. Like, if you just let it go...
 '''Chris:''' Wait- Wait, time out, time out, wait. Making videos about me NOT being straight, what the HELL?
 '''Kacey:''' No, about BEING STRAIGHT, it hurts you because they're like, "Oh, he's just covering it up."
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Jesus... ''[Sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean you should just ignore it.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chris sighs and tries to change the subject)'' Ah, whatever, but anyway like I- Like I said, I add the- I add those names- I add those people- Those are... The subject of those people who send me such e-mails, I add to my block list, that's uh... one thing, another thing is like you know... Like you know, or like you know, they just tell me like you know, "Fuck you", or "You're a failure", or any negative comments like that, I add them to the block list as well. Or even more recently like you know, oh shh- You know, yeah, "We're continuing the talks about your [[copyright]] being stolen", that's just a false rumor and it's not been stolen. I recovered that e-mail. So like you know I add them to the block list as well. I don't even have to open the e-mail, it's ob- It say- They just say it in the subject line. ''[Pause]'' Yeah. Anyway, yeah those- Those are some of the examples of uh, people, uh, who I add to the block list.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, why does being called gay make you so angry anyway, I mean if it's not true it just shouldn't hurt you at all.
 '''Chris:''' Because it's a mislabeling! I hate being mislabeled!
 '''Kacey:''' But you should just ignore it, or else they're gonna think that you're mad because you're hiding something.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, Jesus...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean Chris, this is just common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... You know, let me- let me tell you something else, you know, uh, "common sense"... I- You know, yeah, there is a- There is [[For Julie's Eyes Only|a video of me]]... Uh... Having sex with a blow-up woman- With a blow-up doll, that's like a wom- A blow-up female doll, alright? I mean that- I mean, I- The blow-up doll is a woman, and if I was a homosexual, I'd be blowing up- I'd be blowing up a... Dude doll.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think it matters because dolls don't really have genders. That could be interpreted either way.
 '''Chris:''' But I-
 '''Kacey:''' I've heard people could be bisexual. It doesn't matter.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stress noises)'' Yeah but I mean, it's obvious that the doll is- is a woman, the doll looks like a woman. With the [[Manboobs|boobs]], and the long hair and the-
 '''Kacey:''' It's just plastic, Chris. It doesn't matter.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I uh, I know it was a piece of plastic, and it wouldn't- And it wouldn't know, but still-
 '''Kacey:''' So it doesn't make you straight, and it doesn't make you gay.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Double Stress Sigh)'' Well yeah, well... ''(Stress Breathing)'' Ahh, a buncha things. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, still, like you know, I'm just going- I'm just going- I just been goinh overboard in this conversation... And, yeah, but most of the time I would- Most of the time nowadays I do just ignore that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should, but I mean it just seems like this really gets to you, because you don't get this mad at anything else, not even when they claim to have your copyrights or anything else, like you just always get so angry over the gay thing, it's just really weird. You know?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Oh, jeez...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it wouldn't be bad. You could be bisexual and it wouldn't be bad, I mean-
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I am not bisexual, I'm STRAIGHT. I have- I HATE looking at penises! I love looking at vaginas!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean that doesn't make you straight or gay, if you just LOOK... I mean, gay guys actually love to look at girls' chests, did you know that?
 '''Chris:''' ''(Quiet, frustrated sigh)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they're fascinated by them, even if they don't find them sexy.
 '''Chris:''' I find wom- I find women a lot more sexier... than any dude, I don't even... I mean- I- Yeah we talked about this before, we... We talked about this before.
 '''Kacey:''' I just think it's amusing that you get so angry. I mean, I have gay friends, and they're always like, grabbing my boobs or something, and it's okay because they're gay and everything, but it's like, gay guys love boobs, it's hilarious.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Sighs disgustedly, waits a few seconds, then sighs again)'' Whatev- Whatever. I- Yeah, uhh, whatever. Let's not- Let's not talk about that anymore, um... Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' You should stop sighing, Chris, that doesn't sound like a normal adult, that's like... Little upset toddler behavior.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Tries not to sigh)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, don't say "whatever" to me either, it's kind of rude.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' You could be polite and be like, "I disagree".
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Or, "Let's change the subject".
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright, well yeah. Let's change the subject. Hmm...
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, but you gotta promise me you're not gonna do the sighing and the "whatever"s anymore.
 '''Chris:''' Okay yeah well I mean, I been working on the... reducing of the "whatever"s. I mean, 'cause... Kim, uh, corrected me on that as well. ''(Waits for response)'' She's been correcting me on-
 '''Kacey:''' Well it's not that hard, so... Come on. Heh.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, wait... I- Uh sorry, what was that last statement? I did not not understand that last statement.
 '''Kacey:''' I said it's not that hard. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, not hard.
 '''Kacey:''' It's all about a level of respect, I mean if you respected both of us you wouldn't do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I mean- Yeah, well I mean, I did try to... Stop- To not say whatev- That word. But, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you didn't start saying "whatever" until recently, like you've always done the sighing, but you didn't start saying that until recently.
 '''Chris:''' Right... Yeah. Hm. Well... I mean I've done it- I mean I've done it numerous times before, uh... around my fam- around my family. And- And it's like, they corrected me on that before. I guess it has been a long time since I said that word, and then... And then I- It just started coming back- It just started coming out again. That's- That's one thing that I'm- That I think there, about that. ''(Silence, Chris realizes she isn't going to say anything)'' Hm. Alright well, anyway, um... Um, let's see... What else is- What else can I- What else is on my mind I can talk about... Um... I'm not sure, lemme think, sure... No. If you've got anything else on your mind, Kacey, uh, I'm open to talk about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Not unless you can tutor me in statistics.
 '''Chris:''' Unless I can tutor you in statistics... Actually, I did take statistics, uh... At, uh, one or two of those classes... Uh, when I started at Piedmont, as part of the- As part of when I was starting out, in the, uh, degree, I was- I- First, I started to work on... But then I- But then I switched over to Computer Aided Drafting and Design. But yeah I did do- I did do statistics, so... Like- So like, you know... If you... Show me like an example of, uh, what you're learning in statistics, I could prob- I could probably remember... what to do there.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, maybe I'll scan it or something for you, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah, and I'll see what I can- I'll see what I can remember.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I have school in the morning so I should probably go, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright. But anyway, it's nice to talk to you again. And it's nice to- And it's nice to, you know, if you can't call me, you know, to get an email from you, so I know what's going on. And, you know, it's nice- It's nice to know that- To have you confide in me, and me offering my feedback, but hey, you know, yeah. You know... Just- You know, at least you're making your recovery and you will strike back victoriously.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Laughs politely)'' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I'm rooting for ya, and I'm here for ya.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I appreciate that, and I'll try and talk to you tomorrow. Okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright, if you can't talk to me, send me an email. Whatever...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, bye.
 '''Chris:''' You take care, be safe, bye-bye.


==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]|nextlink=[[Father Call]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 23

2014-05-29T06:59:03Z

Export A:

==Summary==

*Chris has given up on his job at Target - he never received a phone call back.
*[[Chris]] is simply ignoring e-mails based on their subjects.
*Chris got the [[copyright]] for [[Sonichu]].
*Kacey pushes Chris to stop ignoring Clyde "just in case he tries something."
*Chris says that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Gregg Mays]] are the same person and they don't exist because he won't "show his face or identity or anything."
*Chris says that Clyde Cash is '''AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT!'''. He admits several times that he thinks it's possible a '''"six to eleven year old"''' is smarter than him.
*Kacey calls Chris "[[slow in the mind]]," Chris tells her she's "pushin' buttons."
*Chris says that Clyde's voice is high pitched and whiny. Oh boy.
*Chris spends like 3 minutes trying to do an impression of Clyde and it ends up just sounding exactly like Chris's normal voice except a bit deeper. He tries several times - each attempt sounds the exact same.
*Chris explains how [[Panda]] was raped by Clyde, and he just ignored it. Kacey mentions that rape is serious and shouldn't be ignored - Chris completely ignores this, and goes on to talk about how she died in a brush fire.
*Kacey tells Chris to recruit trolls to help take down Clyde. Chris says he is going to go to ED and dox Clyde, entirely expecting Clyde to have just openly posted all his personal info on the ED forums for all to see.
*Chris attempts a Donald Duck impression. It sounds like complete shit and nothing like Donald Duck.
*Chris says he actually thinks his regular voice sounds like Frank Sinatra.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 23
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|GJEqvIXqhKg}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 22]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 24]]
}} </center>
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris! It's Kacey, what's up?
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. I'm doin' okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. Just busy. You know, work's keeping me late.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand, and you know- 'cause, you know, you can call us and I saw in the store(?) you were busy.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I've got a lot of projects and I'm kinda behind in school and I want to NOT be behind, you know. Um. So how have things been for you?
 '''Chris:''' I've been doing fair... I mean, you know, things could be better if I didn't have to worry about the trolls, but... You know...
 '''Kacey:''' What are they doing?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, just trying to get on my nerves... but lately I've been, uh, handling the situation much better. I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's good! That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, let's see, aside from that, um... Yeah, I've been- I've been- been... I've been pushing myself a little further, jogging a little bit longer.
 '''Kacey:''' [''coughs''] That's good.
 '''Chris:''' And, uh... And I still haven't heard back from Target, so that's probably a no-go, but the other thing is a new CVS in Ruckersville and I'll probably apply to that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh you should! I mean, I wouldn't give up on it, though. So, um, how is your copyright coming?
 '''Chris:''' Oh... Yeah, I have, I've called the copyright office and I, uh, I got back access to my account and, ah, it's all good. The copyright is mine.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Well that... that's awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I read somethin' on the internet about this, ah, about this image that, uh, Greg May, uh, Greg Mays slash Clyde Cash, you know, that like, he, uh, it's about like, this, uh, this image about like, supposedly about him having the copyright, but that document is false. I think-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting, talking right over Chris the whole time which he doesn't even seem to notice''] Well, yeah, because obviously you have the papers now, right?
 '''Chris:''' I don't have the papers yet, I-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well then how do you know it's yours?
 '''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Beca- because I called the copyright office and t-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, it's not going to help until you actually have the papers. You need proof. It's like saying you have a diploma but you ''don't'' have a diploma with you. I mean, you're gonna have to get those papers.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I know, I won't get the, uh, document for... for a few more weeks.
 '''Kacey:''' They should send them right away. You should ask them to rush it. I mean, I know they'll do it... if it's really yours.
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' Especially since it's...
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] Y-yeah, yeah, yeah, y-yeah, I, yeah, I, I asked them if they could rush it but, uh, they said 'no, they couldn't,' they have to do it at their own timely pace. So, I was like, you know, I didn't ar-argue. I didn't want to argue with them.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, this troll could do a lot of damage, you need to rush it. I mean, I've seen these things take months, really, but... I mean, if you say so.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Don't worry about it. It's - don't worry about that. It's a- it's all good. I'm still working on the comic pages.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I know there's one thing you aren't working on, because I saw your video. Your room looks like it got ''messier.'' I thought you said you were going to work on taking things down and doing that for me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, that's only the, uh, one side of the room, and... you saw that side of the room in the last picture, a-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, you haven't given me any more pictures like you promised me or anything, and I mean it looks... bad.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, well, I'll-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you... you said that you were going to get this done like weeks ago. And... it's not even half way done.
 '''Chris:''' It is mostly done, believe me. I'll send you some pictures tomorrow, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I hope that they're promising.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''sounding annoyed''] They are, okay? They are. Yeah, well, aside from that, anything going on with you, lately?
 '''Kacey:''' Um... no, I've just been going to class and everything. I've been trying to hang out with my friends more, get a little more social because I just fell, you know, totally overwhelmed. Um, I'm pretty much doing what you're doing and ignoring all the trolls an... you know, just not really caring. They're not worth my time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear that. I hear that. Anyway. My plans for tomorrow are go to class... I've got another yoga class tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not sure I pronounced that right.
 '''Kacey:''' [''talking over Chris''] But I mean, like... you really don't read the e-mails at all? I mean, sometimes I do just, you know, for a good laugh. And I mean, sometimes, you know, I am paranoid that... you know, because these people, they mean business. I am kind of worried that sometimes I'll miss something, and they'll actually do something. I mean, I don't wanna ignore problems, either.
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know, can pretty much judge what they're gonna say in the e-mail, but, by reading subjects. [''pause''] And like, you know, if the subject just is like, you know, don't really... don't really care about that stuff. Yeah, so I just assum- leave that closed.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I know, but, Cameron and I talked about how you need to take your problems head on. Like, I told you, you don't need to ''really'' let them get to you, but you can't ignore them outright totally, either.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I-I that's what I do mostly. After they realize they can call Greg Mays or Clyde Cash out, you know, because he's sent one identity of Clyde Cash, and assumed the identity of Greg Mays, and you know, neither of them were- neither of them were- neither of them really existed, really.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I know it's the same person. Assuming different identities, and both of them are obviously fake, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well then, what's his real name?
 '''Chris:''' Wha- he's never actually showed hims- he's never actually showed... his face or his identity or anything-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well... most people don't do that, but I mean, if you had his real name you could force him to apologize. I mean, turn the tables on him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I... that's why... the one thing I don't have is real name. So I can't really do that, now can I? But still, I call him out, I- I- I challenged him...
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, do some research. I mean, you can at least try.
 '''Chris:''' I did try, I... I searched the names Greg Mays and Clyde Cash and I didn't get much.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, I don't know how much research you are going to do because, uh, [[Kim]] and I were... talking about this, you know, and, she was saying how, um... you haven't read the entirety of the ED page, yet you say it's all lies and slanders... and then you turn around and say that there is truth to it. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... yeah, I talked to Kim about that and I'm planning on... and I'm reading on... through the, uh, texts, on-only the texts on the ED page. And I'm... I'm gonna print them out and I'm gonna add them, and then- so I can, so I can sort out the, uh, ''facts'' from the fiction.
 '''Kacey:''' Right. Well, maybe you should look more closely at these e-mails. Especially, I mean, if this guy has been bothering you so much that he seems to be able to get to you, and he has connections, you should probably, um, make sure. I mean, maybe he made a mistake. Maybe... he... left a clue to his identity. If he's hacked you before maybe you should totally like, at least listen to him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I tried that, I m-
 '''Kacey:'''[''interrupting''] Well, I mean if you just ignore him, what if he does something way bigger?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean... yeah, you know, I don't know if I've told you, but, you know, when he- when he, first time he hacked into my Playstation Network account, a couple of d- a few weeks ago, a couple weeks ago... I got an address, but it turned out to be an elementary school in, I think it was... Kentucky.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe he works there!
 '''Chris:''' ...or maybe he's a student there.
 '''Kacey:''' ...an elementary school. You're telling me you were fooled by an elementary school student over and over again?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... it's a possibility.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe he's a teacher! You really think that an elementary schooler has gotten the best of you? Over and over?
 '''Chris:''' [''short pause''] ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I think he's probably a teacher. [''laughs''] Because if not, you're telling me that some six year old... to... eleven year old has outsmarted you when you're twenty-seven several times. Think... think about that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I have considered that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how does that make you feel? This... little... kid that hasn't even hit puberty can outsmart you so many times.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'll admit that... [''sigh'']
 '''Kacey:''' Talk about slow in the mind, right?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay. Okay. Kacey, please stop, you're pressin' a few- you're pressin' a few buttons, here.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, Chris! This is ludicrous. You're trying to tell me that you think some young kid is doing this. [''coughs''] I mean have.. have you... you said in the video that you heard him. What does he sound like?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, he sounds like... I think he sounds- I thinks he sounds more like... more like an adult. He's got kind of a high pitched tone but he sounds strong. Kinda whiny.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, can you imitate him for me? Since you're good with voices?
 '''Chris:''' ...Let me think a moment... um... [''pause''] Ahh... [''starts talking very drawn out and deeper''] I'm trying... to... see if I can... find the voice [''voice goes deeper''] by deepening my voice to the appropriate levels... no... [''mumbling and humming for about 20 seconds''] I thiiiink I'm getting there but I'm not really... [''voice spikes''] suuuure... If I knew a man from Nantucket who... [''voice returns to normal''] I'm just saying words here until I find the right tone.
 '''Kacey:''' Go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' [''voice goes deeper again''] If I knew a man from Nantucket [''voice returns to normal''] I would know what his voice 'cause I would have heard it a few times before and I'm not really sure until I find the right pitch. And when that happens I would tell it to you right away. Ahh... Ahh... I think I'm nearly there. Aaa-ahhh... Kinda sounds like... I think I'm just about hitting it. Um... yeah. [''voice doesn't change at all, identical to his regular voice a little deeper''] I think he sounds kinda like this, I'm not really sure. I think this sounds real right, I'm not... I'd have to hear it again. This is pretty close, I think.
 '''Kacey:''' Say something one more time.
 '''Chris:''' I think I hit the note. Abouuut...
 '''Kacey:''' Because... all I really heard was you. You made him sound like you, but lower pitched. That... doesn't sound higher pitched.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I think he sounds kinda like, uh... [''trying to impersonate Clyde - again, sounds identical to himself but a little deeper, speaking very, very rapidly''] Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Chris, what are you doin', man, I...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, you have a really high pitched voice too, and you're making him ''lower'' pitched, so...
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to find it...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Okay. I'll be patient.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm trying to find it... um... [''attempting to alter his voice, yet again''] If I knew the sound of the voice, I would get there. But I've heard it a number of times before. Ummmmhhhhhaaaaaa... yeah, I think I've just about got it... duuuhhhaaahhhh... Hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris. Heeeeyyyyy Chris, hey Chris, h-hey... I thi- I think I got it. I think... yeah, I think I got it, this is what he sounds like right here. [''Chris's voice has not changed at all, sounds exactly like himself.''] Listen to me right here, this is what he sounds like. Hey Chris, he-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts, talks over Chris''] So he sounds like you with a cold. Got it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. That sounds about right. ...Good guess. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:'''[''pause''] ...Oookay.
 '''Chris:''' Like me with a cold... Heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' I like that. That's a fun comparison. [''laughs, clearly forcing it''] Huh huh huh. Huh huh huh. Ahh... that's fun. [''pause''] I mean, if he... Heh, you know, that's... I never thought of that before.
 '''Kacey:''' [''giggles''] Well, you know, he seems like he means business, so, you know, I'd at least keep my eye on him. I mean, what else has he done? I mean, I'm sure he's done more.
 '''Chris:''' Well, let's see, I think I told you about the time he flew... about the time he said he flew to Australia and raped my Australian gal-pal and impregnated her...
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Oh. He... he did?
 '''Chris:''' Supposedly, yeah, but I'm not the latest in that, because you know... so many multiple identities. Like...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, just 'cause he's assuming multiple identities doesn't mean it didn't happen. I mean, that would be horrible for you to ignore someone being raped like that, Chris...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. It was hard for me to ignore.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you shouldn't have ignored it. Rape isn't something that should be ignored. I mean, she got raped, right?
 '''Chris:''' It happened... yeah, it did happen about last December or January.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway... but anyway, so, last time I heard it that poor girl got burned to death... got burned, got burned to death and died in that brush fire, so... In Australia that January.
 '''Kacey:''' That's horrible. So she got raped and then died?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I... I know, I was broken up by it too, I mean, I miss her.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh. I mean, okay. This guy really seems like he means business.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah, well. It may or may not... it may, uh, it may just be... I mean, he may actually just ''sound'' like he means business, but... he may not actually have the business. I mean, you know, he may not actually have the skills to pay the bills, with that expression.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, he has hacked your stuff before, I mean, how can you say that? I mean, apparently he's got some skills.
 '''Chris:''' I, yeah... I mean, aside from trying to find a multiple identity and not finding much, I don't know that much about him.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if he could hide himself that well, he could probably take himself off stuff like that. I mean, especially if it's just google.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. ...He could take himself off?
 '''Kacey:''' It's really easy to get yourself off... taken away from, you know, like, web searches and all that.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, maybe you should ask your fans to help find him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' You know, maybe you can reform some trolls. Maybe they'll betray him. Maybe he's such a jerk, they don't like him either.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Bring in the trolls to try helping take down ''this'' troll?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they are trolls. They do do that. I mean, you've gotta use everything in your power, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. Alright, well, fortunately, I do have... I do know about the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] forums page, I do know that... I have it bookmarked. I could look in there, see if I could find some information about, ah... about the guy.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a good start. Maybe.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. But, you know, Kim's helping me as well. She's doing searches on her own, her part.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, how do you know Clyde even goes there?
 '''Chris:''' What, to the elementary school in Kentucky?
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no, to the ED forums.
 '''Chris:''' Wh- ...It's a possibility. They do talk about him on there. Among all the other- among all the other things, and around... around, and involving me.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''sigh''] I feel all worn out after tryin' to find that... find that pic- find that pitch where he sounds like...
 '''Kacey:''' [''chuckles''] Well it happens...
 '''Chris:''' -like me with a cold, heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, exactly. You with a cold...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, heh... That was almost as hard as trying to find the, uh... find the... imitate Donald Duck for the first time.
 '''Kacey:''' [''chuckle'']
 '''Chris:''' Took me a while, but I eventually got it. [''attempts imitating Donald Duck, sounds NOTHING like it''] Whoob, whoob, whoob! Whacka, wahh wahh! Donald Duck! [''quacking'']
 '''Kacey:''' ...Yep.
 '''Chris:''' Did you get that?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. I got it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. It does take practice.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It ''does'' take practice. At least by default, I almost sound like Frank Sinatra.
 '''Kacey:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' I do, seriously, I mean... you've heard Frank Sinatra, haven't you?
 '''Kacey:''' Of course I have.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you know he's got, like... the singing voice on the side, on the uh... with the high pitched... somewhere along with his deep tones. At least he has the... at least he has the power and the practice to balance between it and make good sounding tones for when he's playing his tracks.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Makes me think a little further, though. How I could sing a little better. Huh. [''sighs''] Anyw- anyway... pfew, I'm a little tired right now. If it's okay, I'm gonna go ahead and let you go, and I'll talk to you tomorrow night.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I shouldn't be at work ''too'' late tomorrow, so I should... I'll call you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You take care and be safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you too. Alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye. Bye-bye.
 [''Call ends'']

==External links==

*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 22]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
br>/font>

Kacey Call 22

2014-05-29T06:47:22Z

Export A: Added Video + minor cleanup

==Summary==

*[[Chris]] went to a couple's relationship class alone. He talked about the [[trolls]].
*[[Kim]] told Chris to make a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay|costume]], [[Kacey]] agreed. Chris doesn't want to because ignoring phone calls and drawing Sonichu is too much work already. Yes, that's his actual reasoning.
*Chris got an e-mail from Target telling him they will not be hiring him. He says he has been calling Target and asking to speak to the woman who interviewed him anyway. She has not returned the calls.
*Chris sells [[Guitar Hero]] and [[Rock Band]] guitars on eBay. His story reeks of bullshit - the buyer is a man from the Czech Republic who happens to have a daughter in Virginia who is going to be "wired" money and pick them up.
*Chris says he is okay with being molested as a child if it's a woman touching him, but if it was a man he would "kick his ass."
*Chris says that he is "loose on rape" because he "has never personally been raped."
*Chris talks for a few minutes about how he finds Meg hot and how he "would tap that." Kacey points out that Meg is fat - Chris says he considers her "average." Immediately after Kacey calls Meg fat, Chris says that he imagines Meg being 30 pounds lighter than Kacey. He doesn't seem to notice that this is insulting and directly implies that Kacey is overweight until she points it out.
*Chris says he ignores any [[homosexual]] part of ''Family Guy'' because "other aspects are enjoyable". He gets pretty angry when Kacey keeps talking about how ''Family Guy'' is pro-homo.
*Chris knows far too much about ''Family Guy'', going off and listing episodes where people act straight by individual season. Funny, considering he has no idea what a parody is and reveals earlier in the conversation he has no concept of the show's humor.
*Chris stopped drinking various types of soda because he started to associate them with gay people, but watches Family Guy despite its pro-homosexual creator. Kacey tells him this is a double standard - he ignores her.
*Kacey says that no gay man would ever be into Chris because he's not clean enough. This actually upsets Chris. She then asks if gay people have ever hit on him before. He says over the [[Internet]] it's happened. Chris claims he's been hit on a few times by girls back in middle school, ever since he left high school it hasn't happened because every single woman is taken by a guy already.
*Chris says that he has good [[fashion]] sense.
*Kacey says that the idea of being a "house husband" will make girls think that Chris is gay.
*Kacey says it's ok for women to be a stay-at-home parent but not men. Chris lets out many stress sighs.
*Kacey says Chris needs to be more manly. Chris takes this to mean that he needs to take male hormone pills.
*Kacey tells Chris to go clean his room and says she has to leave.

==Video==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 22
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|m6hfedB6v-g}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 21]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 23]]
}} </Center>
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey. How are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, I'm ok. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. So whats uh- up with you? I mean, I haven't talked to you in awhile, I have been so busy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I kinda figured that. Yeah, a lot has been going on. Uhmm... Where do I begin? Shoot, when was the last time we talked? (Hearty laugh)
 '''Kacey:''' A couple of days ago.
 '''Chris:''' A couple of days ago... Mmm... Alright well ok well I guess I'll start with something good, yeah? Uhh... yeah yesterday I took my uh, over to the first of uh, my uh relationship management classes. I think I told you about that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' Do we - I signed up for that class - I am saying I took the first one yesterday- I took the first one yesterday at- I guesstimate or- or- say the day before yesterday- No. It's after midnight, it's not Monday, it's Saturday. Anyway, yeah, Saturday morning I went to my first class and uhh- it- it was good. Uhhh- learned that first step in a matching your relationship is learning about your self so... So uh mu- So it was basically was three of us. I mean a teacher and uh- and another student woman named Elizabeth about-
 '''Kacey:''' Well aren't those classes for people that are actually in relationships?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, not necessarily, it could be considered- I mean- I mean, I was single and I was able to sign up for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well-But I mean, I mean they are not going to discriminate but... don't they teach you material that goes after the relationship?
 '''Chris:''' Umh- Uh, They gave us some material even before the relationship, like, you know, how to talk- How to uh... how to so- How to better socialize and uh... talk to woman and what not. It's sorta like [[Dating Education]].
 '''Kacey:''' Mkay. So what have you learned?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Yeah I learned- Yeah I learned a little bit. Uh... I learned quite a bit... Mmm... yeah, It seems like s-although it was like- Although- You know like- I have had coping classes before in middle and high school so this one was kinda similar to that one in a way- in a few ways. We did a few- we did a few worksheets filling in a little bit some information about uh- ourselves, our teachers did workshe-did our- did our worksheets along with us. A total of five people signed up for the class, but uh- but ya know three of them didn't make it. So... it was just like three of us Saturday, anyway yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what kind of things were on the work sheets?
 '''Chris:''' Uhm... Yea-You know, like, uh... you know, like a one or- a few- a yes few little- few questions like, you know, like- like, you know- You could- rate how good you feel about your self or uh... or how are seen or like you see or you know how people see us a good friend or if you a little bit of confidence- err- if you have a little confident or even a few questions that were like in reversed this morning, like do you -do you know- do you sometimes feel lonely or sometimes doubt your self. But anyway, but like- In a possible 30 so- and I got 27. The teacher and Eliz- The teacher, her name was Wandea. Yeah Wandea and Elizabeth they each- they both- they each got 29 our of 30. Yeah, I mean- it's just a couple of things like sometimes like- I did have lonely nights um...and, like, you know, I have a few concerns about how other people see me you know, like people over the internet, you know, some like me some don't like me so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yo- You didn't talk about the trolls, did you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Only a little bit... I mean I did not go into details, just, you know, I had a bunch of people badmouth me, so... Yeah, was just basically it was a contribution with that, but yeah- wasn't them- eh- this wasn't about the trolls anyway. Uh- I talked enough and we also, like, you know, anyways, like, you know, when we evaluate ourselves we need to essentially... It was like we were accentuating on the positives, so... You know- a know- an- on- Among the other two worksheets we talked about, like, you know, uh- summin- like, you know, you filled in what each of us liked... a-our likes and uh- dislikes and uh... about like- and like uh... what we would like- what we would like to be or what we are l- what each of us are looking forward to... Yeah, and then- and then in the future classes we'll be learning about uh... How to better communicate with uh- other people... and uh- and the like... and associating, co-
 '''Kacey:''' What do you think this class is going to do for you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I think it'll- I think it'll help me uh... maybe- I think it'll help- I think it'll help me feel a little bit more confident about myself, maybe, and uh- give me more- give me more things to- give me a better understanding of what to say when I talk to uh- women- when I talk to women in public or... Well, you know that sorta thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know confidence comes from within. A class can't give it to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, but ye- yeah, before uh- 'fore... Yeah, I mean I'm not sure- I mean- but I'm... I think it's fairly obvious that for a while I've had like uh... quiet- quite a bit of low self-esteem.
 '''Kacey:''' Hm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Hm. Anyway, I think a- I think after- I think after these classes I'll uh- feel- I'll feel a little better about myself and I'll feel more confident and uh- ma- and possibly better socialize in my adult life and... feel better about appoint- approaching women and talking to th- an' talking to them...
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] Okay, well, anything else about the relationship class?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Only that, like, you know, we're hoping that the other three students will co- will-will-will-we'll-we'll be seeing them next class.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' That- and that uh- the next class will be on the uh- twenty-fourth of October... Oh, and also I learned that, like, you know- you know the relationship class is one thing among the uh- Parks and Recreation program here in Charlottes- in Charlottesville... Uh- yeah, but also I got a calendar of events, apparently there's like a little Halloween party over at the uh- Key Center near the Downtown Mall, so I'll be- so I'm probably going to that. Not sure what I'm going to dress up as, though. And uh-
 '''Kacey:''' What did you say was going on in October, I'm sorry? For the class?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I said that the last class will be on October twenty-fourth, and then I got a calendar of events... wi- I th- learned there's going to be a Halloween party over at the Key Center dear the Downtown Mall, so I'm planning on going to that, but I'm not sure what I'm going to dress up as yet.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim's- I talked to Kim about that a little bit earlier, uh- she suggested I make up a Sonichu costume, but I don't se-
 '''Kacey:''' I actually was about to suggest that. I mean why not?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' You can stretch your creative muscles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm just not sure about uh- wanting to make a costume at this time, but you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but what better way to promote it and show that it's yours?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, but... Yeah, anyway, I just- it depends on how I feel and I'll think about it further and iffan... If I decide to make the costume, I will.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean w- you should be more driven to do these things. I mean obv- or obviously Sonichu is not that important.
 '''Chris:''' Well, Sonichu ''is'' important... to me. Just I got so many fat- factors in life I, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but this is gonna be great PR!
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, I got- I'm going to try s- trying to socialize in real life, for one thing and trying- and another thing trying to not think about the trolls and keep my distance from the computer, so I don't have to listen to them and ignore their incoming phone calls... [sigh] Lotta stuff. But yeah, I'm still working on the comics and the uh- CWCipedia and all that. Oh, I got- and also the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, and how about your room? You still working on your room?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm still working on my room.
 '''Kacey:''' You should send me some pictures of progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I will. Yeah, by the way, also I uh- called up uh- Target earlier today uh- try- tried looking for... Melissa, one of the two women who interviewed me uh- She wasn't in, so I a- so I left a message asking for her to call me back. I should probably hear from her on Monday or Tuesday... Uh- today or tomorrow. Depends on-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, good luck with that.
 '''Chris:''' Depends on when she comes in, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely. Um, do you think you got the job? 'Cause I don't think we've talked about it since it actually happened.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, I mean I think I felt that I did good at the interview and that uh- I feel... that I left a good impression on hm... and uh- I felt the sense of a... and uh- feeling, like, you know... and perceiving me as a friendly type person... but... and as for- but, you know- but I had somebody else ahead of me in the interview-wise uh- Any- Uh, so... I'm hoping I- I hope- I'm hoping I got the job, but uh... I'm just uh- having doubts, especially since, like, you know, uh- last Friday an email- rece- I received another email from Target saying, like, you know, "Yeah, we don't have any positions open for you yet." I think I- I'm not sure I- er a- if I told you or Kim about that email. But anyway uh- but anyway, I call Target today and I'll find out uh- from Melissa Mon- today or tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Oh! Somethin' else goin' on. You know I put my- I put my uh- Fender- my Meatwad Shredwad- sfender Stratocaster and my second PS3 Gibson guitar on eBay and I sold them both to the same person in the uh- Czech Republic uh- Yeah, I mean uh- you know, the uh- Stratocaster sold for the askin- for the starting bid of $29.99, but I mean- but for the Gibson guitar- I mean I started at $19.99... Anyway, all the way up to $69.99...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well, cool!
 '''Chris:''' Well, that's ju- I guess that just shows you that Guitar Hero is definitely more popular than Rock Band. Heh heh heh heh heh!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]
 '''Chris:''' Hn. But anyway, uh- Yeah, uh- so- Yeah, I talked to uh- the g- I talked to the uh- dude at- his name was Walter-
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' -in the email. Yeah, he said that, like, you know, he's got a dot- he's got a daughter who's going to a university in Virginia, so he'll wire the mon- he'll wire the uh- money to her and then uh- you know, in person exchange of uh- the m- of the guitars for cash... And-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Oh! That's good. You don't have to pay shipping. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway uh- So anyway I talked to her- anyway I talked to her a little bit. Her name is Regina...
 '''Kacey:''' Uhah.
 '''Chris:''' And apparently she goes- she's going to uh- the University of Virginia, um- majoring in philosophy...
 '''Kacey:''' ...Oh, I guess that's great...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway- Yeah- Umm- I sent her another email, you know, telling her a little about myself and gave- gave her my uh- headshot... let her know what m- what I look like in the face.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yes, so she can identify you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Uh- I still have a- I mean I checked my email earlier today uh- she hadn't replied yet, but, you know. Uh- she just started over at UVA and, so she's been- so she's been busy with uh- with homework and whatnot.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. You know how college is.
 '''Chris:''' Yep... Oh, and I w- Oh, you know, a couple of other things on my mind uh- I watched the uh- watched the- I watched the wahoo(?) local Fox News earlier. You know we have a cute bear- you know we have cute bear? We have, like, three bears running around- shrunning around Charlottesville area? Uheh. Heh heh heh! It was like momma bear and her two cubs. Anyway, last Friday, they went up a tree across the street from this uh- Barville Firewood Middle School, and then uh- and then aft- they went down- after they got down from the tree that Friday night, they went across the street to the parking lot at that school and they hung around that school for the weekend and then they just left tonight and the funny thing is the b- that the school's mascot is a bear. AND THEY WERE VISITED BY THREE BEARS!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]
 '''Chris:''' Haheh heh heh heh heh heh! Yeah. Anyway- Anyway, no major damage. The bears- The bears were just visiting. Now they're over in uh- over somewhere in uh- Lore- Loreville, something like that around here. Um- Yeah. Anyway, gargle- Anyway, so the bears are another place now. Hm. Oh, and uh- another piece of news I heard about uh- cute- Oh, yeah. Roman Polanski. You know that- You know him?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' He directed the [[Duck|Piiiiaaaanist]]? Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Mhmm.
 '''Chris:''' Apparently, he was convic-ted years ago of drugging and having sex with a thirteen year-old girl and he finally got arrested for that-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh!
 '''Chris:''' -He was hiding out in h- He was hiding out in Europe to get away from that. They finally caught him and arrested him...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I felt like he- I felt like he deserved that after what he did, I mean drugged and did that-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah, I think child molesters should be burned alive!
 '''Chris:''' I agree... Wait a minute. Well, not burned alive, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no! I mean look what they're doing, I mean they're touching someone who doesn't want to be touched. They're invading their personal space, and not only that it's a child who can't defend themselves. I mean it's not good at any age, but it's even worse when they're children. I mean, like, why would you do that to someone, especially if you didn't know they wanted it? That's horrible!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is horrible. Hm. But, yeah, you said "burning," I mean that- I mean... Too many-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry. Those people have no souls, and I don't care what happens to them as long as it's painful, because what they did to that child will never go away and, so they need as much pain as possible.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean- Yes, it is appropriate to punish them, but uh- you know, I wouldn't exactly say "kill them."
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, you'd do it slowly. You know, maybe, maybe let them recover, and then do it again, because I mean... come on. What happens if you have Crystal, and someone does it to her? Don't you think you're going to want to kill them? Don't you think that you're going to want them to suffer?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I would feel the need to make them- I would feel the need to make that person suffer.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean I don't want to think you're defending a child molester.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm not- I'm not personally defending the child molest- I'm not defending the molester. I- I'm just saying that, like, you know, no need to kill him. Hu-ur-hu-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, what do you think we should do?
 '''Chris:''' Like, you know, yeah, he should definitely go to jail and serve his time, and maybe, like, and, like-
 '''Kacey:''' Why, so he can get out in five years for quote-unquote good behavior, so he can do it again?
 '''Chris:''' No- Not- No, I mean, like, sentence him for, like, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Like, pedophilia doesn't have a cure.
 '''Chris:''' I would say twenty- I would say sentence him for twenty years.
 '''Kacey:''' Twenty years is worth- NO! All the pain that person's going to go through, you think raping someone, especially a child, is only worth ''twenty years''!? The m- pain they're going to have to go through is only ''twenty years''!? Shouldn't it be life!? They took away that person's life, altered it for the rest of their life. Shouldn't they be in jail?
 '''Chris:''' Ur- Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Twenty years to life in jail. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' No! Not twenty years to life! They- They're useless to society. I mean how would you feel if someone touched you?
 '''Chris:''' If it was a woman, I would accept it, but if it was a dude, I'd slap it- I'd- I'd ki- I'd- I'd kick his ass.
 '''Kacey:''' No! No one should touch you if you don't want it period, dot, the end, especially not when you're a child. Whether a man or woman, doesn't make it right.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah. I hear you on- I hear you what- I hear what- I hear you. I was just uh- saying, since you brought up the question... Eh- I was just- I was just making sures- specifying the uh- yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I-It doesn't matter, I mean [exasperated sigh]. It sounds like you wouldn't care at all, I mean that- I can't believe that. Just because it's a woman? Okay, when you're little, that doesn't matter. 'Cause rape is rape. We're n- We're not talking about consensual sex, we're talking about rape-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I- I- Yeah- Yeah, I understand we're talking about rape. Yeah. I mean- Yeah, I mean I'm just- I'm just a little bit loose about it right now, because, you know, I have never personally been raped, and uh- [talking over Kacey] and uh- If it is- I mean it does not happening right now-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, yeah, I mean if you haven't been molested, that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen to other people.
 '''Chris:''' -but- but- I'm j- na- a- bu- ye- I'm just saying- but, yeah. It's like- It's like- Yeah, I would definitely uh- be offended, and I would uh- want to make sure that person got life or uh- or something more appropriate-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, like I said, I know you've never been molested or raped or anything, but you've got to try to see it from their point of view.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Yep! Their point of view... Yeah, I w- Yeah... I would definitely be of- I would definitely be offended and not- and hurt. I would want that person... to be sentenced to life and imprisonment and jail and all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly! 'Cause I know it's never happened to you, and I know no one's molested or raped you, but if it happened to you when you were little, wouldn't you want them to be locked away? I mean wouldn't you feel fear if you knew that person was still out there?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I would be scared if I- if I knew that person was still out there.
 '''Kacey:''' So you should be thankful that you've never been molested or raped when you were a child.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am thankful fo- I am thankful for that.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean- Or even now. It doesn't matter how old you are.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah... Hmm... Hmm... Mmkay, well, aside from that uh- Aheh. Heduh- hah- I went back to thinking about the bears. Heh heh heh heh!
 '''Kacey:''' [forced laughter] Yeah! Going from that to bears, I guess. I don't see a logical way, but okay! [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' I-I was thinking about the comic for a little relief. Heh ha. Ah, a little comic relief. It's fun... Hm... Anyway, I'll wa- Alwee- Also- Anyway, earlier tonight, I watched the uh-
 '''Kacey:''' But why don't you care? I mean you're just going back to bears. I mean this actually bothers me because these are things that, as a nurse, I'm going to have to deal with.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean this stuff happens every day. I mean go to a darkness to light website, look at it... I mean people-
 '''Chris:''' Lotta bad stuff.
 '''Kacey:''' -people a- children are molested by people that they trust whether it's family members or um- people in power, like, in schools, or doctors, or just random people-
 '''Chris:''' I hear you. I hear you... Yeah, I hear you, but I mean uh- I was just trying to uh- lighten things up after we've been talking dark for the past couple of minutes- for the past few minutes.
 '''Kacey:''' But that- But it's life, Chris! You can't just block out life!
 '''Chris:''' I'm- I'm not blocking it out.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you are. You don't want to talk about bad things. I get it. That's not very mature.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay, well, I mean- Yeah, I me- Yeah, I mean it is necessarily- necessary sometimes to uh- talk about dark things. It's not like we have to talk about them ''all the time''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, we're not talking about them all the time. It just came up. You're the one who brought it up.
 '''Chris:''' I mean j- I mean I was just bringing up, like, you know, that the Roman Polanski finally got arrested for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, then talk about something else.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uhnkay... Hn. Earlier tonight, I watched the- I uh- watched the uh- the season premieres to the uh- t-the uh- series premiere- the uh- first episode of The Cleveland Show, the new Family Guy, and American Dad.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! How did you like them?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I enjoyed them, although I liked The Cleveland Show and uh- Family Guy episodes more than I did the American Dad episode. Uh- It was just like uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Well, I don't really watch them anymore. What did you like the best? So, um, yeah, tell me any highlights.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I w- I'll- From The Cleveland Show, I mean, like, you know, yeah. Cleveland got his spin-off show now and uh- heh... And you know he's- I just thought it was good, yeah. You know, he uh- moved to his home town in Virginia aft-after his house in Quahog was taken by Loretta after the divorce was finally finalized. And uh- Cleveland Junior is fourteen years old now. I mean, if you watch the uh- classic Family Guy episodes, it'll show Cleveland Junior being little rascal. Heh-heh...
 '''Kacey:''' Right...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, but anyway he's- anyway, he's fourteen and [[fat]]. C- uhh- Cleveland Junior is...
 '''Kacey:''' Mhmm-
 '''Chris:''' They moved to- They mo- They uh- moved to Virginia... uh- even though their original plans were-they-were-gonna-go-California to uh- realize the dream of managing a- of uh- scou- of uh- being a s- on scout for a baseball team from California. And they turn around as they- and they end up moving- end the episode uh- to turn around and go back to Virgina, because Cleveland found his high school [[sweetheart]], and uh- and she ha- and she- yeah- with this uh- other dude that h- that pretty much stole her from him uh- from him, but uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, um, tell me about Family Guy, at least. I mean, Cleveland Show: whatever; I liked Quagmire better. I thought he'd be uh- you know, a better show.
 '''Chris:''' A'ight, but-
 '''Kacey:''' An-
 '''Chris:''' Aya mean Cleveland- Cleveland-
 '''Kacey:''' I- I at least know something about Family Guy, so tell me about the Family Guy episode.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, well, I mean Cleveland was from Family Guy and this is a spin-off from Family Guy for Cleveland.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I know, but I don't really care. [scoffs]
 '''Chris:''' Okay-
 '''Kacey:''' So, go ahead and tell me about the Family Guy episode.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, they did another- they did another "Road to" mo- episode for Family Guy for the sixth released season premiere. They call it "Road to-
 '''Kacey:''' [sarcastic] Oh, how original! [laughs quietly]
 '''Chris:''' Uh- Not really- Not- I mean, you know, they done "Road to... E-" "Road to Rhode Island," "Rhode to Europe-"
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that was sarcasm, but go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' And then- And then they did "Road to Germany" as well. Now they did uh- "Road to Multi-di... to Multi-dimension." They went to different dimensions, Setu- Stewie and Brian did.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' An' then- Yeah- They been- Dertrollafintfro dimensions, like, you know, they went- their first destination was, like, as if Christianity never existed, so the dark ages was skipped and everybody is- was advanced a thousand years... And uh- Apparently, like, you know, they had developed a pill that actually gets rid of aids. Like that. And Meg- And Meg is-
 '''Kacey:''' Well... But that doesn't even seem plausible, because there are plenty of places in this world that weren't touched by Christianity. But still...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway. Oh, they a- And they also... ga- also gave Meg a shiny moment. They made her... ''hot''. Heh!
 '''Kacey:''' Agh... Meg will never be hot, not even in that one episode where she was blonde. It's Meg.
 '''Chris:''' Uh- No- I- I mean she was, like, even hotter this episode.
 font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:''' Well, I enjoyed them, although I liked The Cleveland Show and uh- Family Guy episodes more than I did the American Dad episode. Uh- It was just like uh-'''Kacey:''' Wow! Did they totally remake her character?
 '''Chris:''' Pretty font color="#FF0066">'''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey. How are ya?much recreated her body style, yeah, only thinner, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, I'm talking about her face. Her face, you know...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, her face does stay- stay a little bit of the same, but her body was different-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! So she was a butterface!
 '''Chris:''' A butterface?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Everything is nice, but her face?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Oh, her- I mean, it's, like, you know, her face is a little- I mean- Yeah, her face stayed the sa- face stayed the same. I mean, that's Meg... And she-
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly!
 '''Chris:''' -but I mean- Her body. Her body was different this time. Made her a little bit taller, gave her a 36D cup boobs. Heh! Put her in that- Put her in a pink tube top and denim sh-miniskirt, gave her tall boots, ma- and made her hair grow long-
 '''Kacey:''' So basically they made her an ugly whore...
 '''Kacey:''' Because her face stayed the same. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' No. No-no-no.
 '''Kacey:''' That's what it sounds like! All they did was change her from the chin down, so she just became a butterface whore. Good for her. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Well, actually, uh- in that dimension she's still the ugly one by comparison and uh- Stewie made the joke, saying, like, you know, if uh- Brian would still look at Lois, he would have to uh- he would have to put his dick in a wheelbarrow. He carries it off in a wheelbarrow... I know- I mean I d- I didn't really- I mean, it's, like, you know- I naw- I wa- Dawshna- I not sure if I got that myself um... But, you know, I thawaspozu- that was a joke there.
 '''Kacey:''' [fake laugh]
 '''Chris:''' You find- I'm sure you can find the clip on YouTube now.
 '''Kacey:''' I'll- I'll- I'll um... I'll look, but I mean uh- it's just a cartoon, you know. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Hm. Anyway, other- Anyway, among the- among dimensions aside from that one... Yeah. They a- They did- They went to another dimension- They we- Among the uh- dimensions- Another one- Another one I liked. They uh- went to another dimension where is like everything was drawn by Disney. And they put- And they put Lois in Snow White's outfit.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' And uh- is was like- It was just- It was jus- iwasjus- iwasjus- hawasjuz- It was just fun to look at that Disney rendition. Hehe-heh!
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' It just- it just, like, just made the, you know, made the characters a little and more near... more realistic in the facial expressions and all that. 'Cept for, like, except for the Disney version Meg, of Meg, they made her like Ursla from the Little Mermaid.
 '''Kacey:''' Hahaha! That so fits her!
 '''Chris:''' Um... I mean, I felt that that was downright... I mean downright bad, but, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' No, she fits the jealous sea hag.
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm. ...Hm. ...Whatever, anyway, she's still Meg, but they made her... fatter but they gave her- they gave her Ursla's tentacles.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, yeah, I would think so, but I mean don't whatever me, because I mean, come on, it's true, Meg is the character that is always dumped on. I mean, of course she's going to be like that. They make her such a wimpy little... whiny emo kid anyway.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Okay, well, I will not argue with you on that. In general, though, she's still a likable person and I just... feel sorry for her for being picked on like that like, you know, why? I think she looks good.
 '''Kacey:''' W-wait, why do you like her so much?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know. I think it's like, one thing, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, is Meg like your ideal girl? ...I mean, even though she's a cartoon.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, at least she's like, a human character.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's not what I'm asking you. Is she like your ideal girl?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, add a year to her because last time t-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, I'm not talking about her age. I'm talking about how she looks.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I d- I would, I mean, I mean just kind of the looks... buuut, if I didn't think about the age too much... yeah, I would tap her. I would do that to her.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay! Because I mean, you know... you're pretty, um... into people's weight, and she's kind of fat.
 '''Chris:''' I- I mean, I'm, I'm, I mean I'm into, uh... I am into thin women as well but I mean like, you know, you have to figure out today's society... I mean, I'll take a, uh, a woman who's uh, slim to average, body type.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, Meg is... extremely not average. She is, um-
 '''Chris:''' [tries to interrupt] Well, no, no, not that-
 '''Kacey:''' -beyond average. Yes she is!
 '''Chris:''' She's average.
 '''Kacey:''' No, she's not average!
 '''Chris:''' I think she's average.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughing] No, she's not average, Chris. That's the whole point of her.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, look, compare her body, her original body, to Peter. Now ''he's'' fat. And then compare her to Lois-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris! It's a joke about Megan's character! She's supposed to be the fat little dumpy geek chick.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, I'm just- I'm just letting you know. I do not think she's fat. I think that her body type is average.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. If she were a real person, how much do you think she'd weigh?
 '''Chris:''' I would say she would probably weigh about... somewhere between... 145 and 160.
 '''Kacey:''' So you think I would weigh more than Meg.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] I did not say that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes you did. You say that... you think that I weigh 190 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I did not say that you weigh 190 pounds. I said-
 '''Kacey:''' Yes you did. Oh, yes you did.
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well, okay, maybe I did, when we were talking in the past conversation. Mm... but I, but... I did not mean to insult you. I mean, we were just talking about Meg.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah, but her character is made to be bigger than mine. She has no curves, she's blocky... I mean, come on, Chris. That's just kind of insulting. I guess you just can't get that kind of humor as well. I guess you just don't get the show.
 '''Chris:''' I do get the show. I just, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm surprised you watch it. Because ''I'' heard that Stewie is openly gay now.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm saying- I'm taking it... I'm ignoring that fact. I mean, I don't care, it's still a good show.
 '''Kacey:''' It's part of the show. I mean, that's just part of the show, Meg's just part of the show too, but... heh, anyway.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I do, I just, I mean... I just basically ignore those parts. I ignore those homosexual parts.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, there's some, I mean, there's so many other aspects in the show that are still enjoyable.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if it's just a joke, why wouldn't it be enjoyable?
 '''Chris:''' Well, there's still- there's still a lot of good, adult humor in there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, if Stewie went from evil genius to gay. So... I mean, obviously the creator of Family Guy is okay with a homosexual life style. I mean, he's supporting it.
 '''Chris:''' N-not necessarily. He's definitely putting in straight points as well. He's definitely emphasizing the straight. I mean... [long pause] I mean, Quagmire bangin' a bunch of women, Cleveland had Loretta, Joe has Bonnie, and of course Peter has Lois. And he made Chris go out in se-season seven with... oh shoot, that blonde that high school that bullied Meg... Connie. He m- he let Chris go out with Connie DeMico. And also made hi- also let him have a crush on Barbara, in that early episode. That was season three.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but, anyway, and also, like- and also that... and also that same episode, that southern Dixie girl. Dixie: D-I-X-I-E. Just wanted to make sure that I... I understood that, that's what I said. And then there's the episode where they moved down south for a while.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh. Oh, the one that looked like a boy?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Right?
 '''Chris:''' I... I like... I mean yeah. At first, gave the appearance of being a boy, but in reality was a girl. [pause] And then there was, there was the episode where... where mine was... Yeah, it was the, yeah, uh, the episode where, uh, Adam West was trying to distract everyone from the Diggum(?) statue scam by, uh, banning homosexual marriage in Quohog.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that was a joke. That he totally supports homosexual lifestyle. That was a joke.
 '''Chris:''' [stuttering wildly, trying desperately to interrupt]
 '''Kacey:''' That was a ''parody.'' A ''real'' parody.
 '''Chris:''' W-w-anyway, going back to the... going back to Chris, uh... g-go out with that girl, he was trying to impress in that episode. So... and also, you know, that Meg was tr- was try- w-was flirting with th- with the boys. And actually Meg went out with a few boys in a few episodes.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it just seems like the show has gone downhill, but you should really look up the creator's political views. Because he... definitely, definitely is very liberal and he definitely supports a homosexual relationship.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm not judging Seth MacFarlane's opinion on that. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' You judge everyone else's. You... told me yourself that you weren't drinking- I don't remember which soda it was, because of that, so why would you watch ''Family Guy''?
 '''Chris:''' I liked ''Family Guy'' since the beginning!
 '''Kacey:''' And you liked the soda too! And Family Guy is doing more to push a homosexual lifestyle than that soda was. He is furthering his pro-homosexual agenda through the show.
 '''Chris:''' Look, I tol-I toldja I turned the channel when they show those homosexual scenes.
 '''Kacey:''' Buuut... Okay, you, you're being shown homosexual scenes, but you won't drink a ''sooooda'' over something that you can't see.
 '''Chris:''' [''long'' pause, sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you can't have double standards.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well... I think I've established this before, but... Yeah, I do not... I do not care about the homosexual lifestyle... and I am, I am willing to associate... I mean in like, uh, in a like, uh, be friends with homosexuals. But-
 '''Kacey:''' But then why would you stop drinking a soda over it then?
 '''Chris:''' I would not want them to get too close to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Trust me, they would not get too close to you. Number one, you're not a gay guy's type. They like people who... dress a lot better... um, and, you just wouldn't be the type. Um... let's see here. Second off, they know who's straight and who isn't, and trust me, they're not interested in straight boys.
 '''Chris:''' Um, yeah, that's honest-
 '''Kacey:''' They're very into... a very polished, handsome look.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I don't care, I, um, well I mean, okay, well, you don't have to tell, you don't have to tell me about from their point of view, I mean, uh, I don't care about from their point of view, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just telling you they wouldn't hit on you, they wouldn't want you. So you have nothing to worry about.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, uh, okay, well... Okay, well, I guess I-
 '''Kacey:''' According to gay people, you wouldn't be good enough for them. They are out of y-your league.
 '''Chris:''' Good, I would not, I would never want to be, I would never want to be that way with any of them anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly! So it's fine, because you'd be a step down.
 '''Chris:''' Wait, I'd be a what?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, to them, you would be a step down.
 '''Chris:''' A step ''down''?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not sure, I, I feel, I feel like, uh, that's, uh, I feel like that's some sort of an insult right there.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm just saying you aren't gay people's types.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, still, I-I mean I understand that, but I'm just saying, a step down? It just sounds like an insult to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, that's the thing. It's like, gay people wouldn't hit on you. Don't be insulted unless you want them to hit on you. I mean, have they ever hit on you before?
 '''Chris:''' Over the internet, I have-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, that's just over the internet. But the thing is, trust me, they're not going to hit on you in real life. I mean, saying you won't get close to them is insulting to them. But I'm just trying to reassure you that it's not going to happen.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I mean, I-I understand that, and I appreciate that, but I'm just letting you know that a step down sounds like an insult to me. I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, don't worry about it unless you want them to hit on you.
 '''Chris:''' [tries constantly to interrupt] I mean, I mean, I mean, okay-
 '''Kacey:''' You should be happy they feel that way.
 '''Chris:''' Well, okay, I'm talking about, you know...
 '''Chris:''' if a homosexual thinks, if a homosexual thinks that I'm a step down, how does that make me feel about how women would see me in that sense? Women.
 '''Kacey:''' Ah, you see, maybe... maybe you should think about that, 'cause like, women like polished guys, too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, like, you know, if you're saying that homosexuals think I'm a step down, that sounds like, to me, that sounds like, you know, women might think I'm a step down.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but ju- We're talking about homosexuals, not women. Two different things. I mean, you're acting like you want gay people to hit on you. I mean, women and gay people aren't the same.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay well, I did-I did not mean to imply either of those. I'm, I'm just saying. [''pause, followed by a sigh''] I mean, still, I mean like... I-It would be, it would be insulting to me if women said I was a step down to them.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, we're talking about homosexuals, not women.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well, I'm changing the subject over, I'm just chang-I'm just chang- I'm just saying how I feel if women called me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but it has nothing to do with that and I didn't say that. I mean, do you think women think that you're a step down? Is that what this is about?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, for a while, I have been getting that impression.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe you should change that. What do you think that you could change about yourself to make you not a step down? I mean, have any women hit on you in real life?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah. For a- yeah, a few- a few- a few times back in, like, high and middle, about middle and high school. And, uh, but ever since I left high school and, uh... [pause] Yeah. Like, every woman's already taken. And that's why, that's why I feel-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe they're just saying that. I mean it is a nice, polite way to let someone down. I mean, if you think that you're a step down for women, what do you think you could do to change yourself? What do you think is so, um, bad that they don't want to be with you?
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, well, I mean, one thing definite- one thing I'm sure of, and at least I'm working on it to improve it. You know, my... my buddha belly. At least I'm exercising more often to put, to take that down. Trim down there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what about your personality? I mean, a lot of women do go for personality.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Kacey:''' You think there's anything in that you can change?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Like, I could be more confident.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe it's also the way that you approach women.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, by that, and by that, I also mean less shy.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Because, because like, for a long time in my sweetheart search, I have been shy. Hmm. Ah, let's see, what else... I mean, I mean, I dress, I dress okay. I wear solid colors.
 '''Kacey:''' Solid colors doesn't mean anything. It's all about the cut of your clothes. But, um, anyway, like, I guess, do you get nervous with women? Like, maybe that makes you mess up.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah, 'cause sometimes I, uh, just feel like, I mean like, you know. I mean... yeah. Obviously, I did- I did- I have not gone out with women that much, so, it's like... You know. And I'm wanting to go out with women. [''stutters horribly''] ...Having the mindset of like, you know, being friends first. And, uh, I thought-
 '''Kacey:''' Most of the time when you're friends first with a girl, you're in the friendzone, and you're screwed.
 '''Chris:''' [''pauses, then sighs''] Yeah, I know-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, women usually know within... five minutes whether they're going to date somebody or not.
 '''Chris:''' They know within five minutes.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, they know they're going to be attracted to that person or not. Like, if you immediately get in the friendzone, you probably don't have a prayer. Maybe you should go do some more things, like, the relationship classes are a great start, but...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... yeah, but, I mean, in general- in general, I do consider myself a friendly person. Since like, you know, sometimes I feel like, uh, when I'm stressed, I can be defensive. And, uh, yeah, when I, there's the nervousness there, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm.
 '''Chris:''' And other things. I'm thinking, I'm thinking, uh... Yeah, I try not to, I try to keep my voice in a calm tone, not raise it. Um-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it's gotta be something else. Do you get, maybe, um, I don't know. I mean, girls like a manly man. Do you think you're manly enough? I mean, are you manly or more effeminate? Because sometimes soft voices can be more effeminate.
 '''Chris:''' I-I'm sorry. I didn't understand that last statement.
 '''Kacey:''' It- You mean, you have a soft, quiet voice? Girls could see that as effeminate and that you don't have any real power. I mean, 'cause girls want a nice guy, too, but they also want a guy. Like, an actual ''guy'' guy.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I do feel like- I am a man. And I am sometimes manly.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, a girl wants a guy that's manly all the time. They want somebody that's gonna be able to protect them, that they're going to feel safe and secure with.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] And I, and that characteristic, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you seem to need a woman more than they need you. Like, you tell them you want to be a house husband, they're gonna laugh at you, they're gonna be like, "Oh my god, you're not a guy!" They're going to assume you're gay.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, that's stupid.
 '''Kacey:''' It's not stupid, I wouldn't want a house husband. I would want a man, I would want a ''husband''. I mean, I would like him to help out with housework and everything, but I would like to be on equal footing. I would want somebody who would protect me.
 '''Chris:''' I would protect you. Um, I mean, I would protect you or any woman that I know. I... I would, I seriously would!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I mean, but if you say you're going to be a house husband, that doesn't really give that idea. Plus, you know, you would have to be fit and menacing, you know? It-it's just, you know... Girls are going to, uh, you know, they're just going to judge that, because I mean, most house husbands are mostly married to another husband.
 '''Chris:''''' Ugh''... Okay, well, I guess I should, uh, find a new term meaning to like, you know, I would, instead, not house husband, but I mean... like you know, well...
 '''Kacey:''' Like, a girl's going to want you to get a job and be the man. I mean, come on, even you should know this just from Christian principles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I have- I have that general understanding.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, you don't sound like you do.
 '''Chris:''' I do.
 '''Kacey:''' And, I mean, these days couples have both people working. They're on equal footing. It's wonderful.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, there are- there are couples where the woman goes to work and, uh, the husband stays home and takes care of the things at home.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well, how many do you think there really are? I mean, 'cause that's not very big. I'm going to tell you that right now.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I-I mean, yeah, I agree, I will not argue with you on that. I, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' And most of those men have more effeminate personalities. Or they get divorced really quickly. I mean, they could, most of them, probably bisexuals at least.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighs''] I guess one thing I would definitely need to improve on is to become- to become more manly.
 '''Kacey:''' Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I wouldn't even know where to begin on that. I mean, I have- I have watched horror films and, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Horror films aren't going to do anything. Everyone dies in those. Like, go watch football, go try to hang out with other guys, I mean, be more aggressive with the trolls. And if you can't even deal with them, you can't deal with anything else. I mean, get rid of anything girly you have, 'cause that's not going to help you. I mean, 'cause wives cheat on girly men because eventually they're going to want a real man. They're not going to want someone who has My Little Ponies in his room.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm...
 '''Kacey:''' So that's another thing. I think that you should go take pictures of your room, I wanna make sure you're actually making progress. Because this is what you need to be doing. Definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Hmm. Uh, let me ask you though, do you think it would be a good idea, I thought about this before... male hormone replacement pills?
 '''Kacey:''' Why do you think you need them?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, I mean, I just figured it's a possibility. You know, I might need to, I might- I might need more male hormones in me, I might- I might not have- I might just, I mean like, I co- I'm probably on equal footing between male, between my x and y chromosomes.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it has nothing to do with your chromosomes, it has to do with your hormones, estrogen, and testosterone. But either way, go to the doctor, because you might need to get tested. I actually know someone who has to take more testosterone, and it'll take care of some things. So, you need to go do that because that might be a great idea.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, wait, I'm sorry, I did not understand. Uh, what was that? Get tested for what?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, to see if you have low testosterone? Because that may be, that may actually be a problem and that would be a good thing. I think you should do it. I think you should go talk to your doctor about it.
 '''Chris:''' Testosterone test... Alright. I'll talk to my doctor about that.
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] But yeah, I think that's a great idea. I mean, 'cause then you could get strong and do you think trolls go after strong people?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I do not- I do not think trolls would not- I do not think trolls would not go out after strong people because strong people would be a l- they wo- they trolls would feel intimidated.
 '''Kacey:''' Exactly, they go for the weak and helpless, you need to stop being weak and helpless. You need to be stronger and manlier, so I think you should talk to your doctor about this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay-
 '''Kacey:''' Anyway, you should probably go Google it, so I'm gonna let you do that, go take some pictures of your room, do what you need to do. I've got to get up for school in the morning, so I'm gonna go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, alright, well, also I wanted to let you know, you know, if you have any troubles of your own on your half, you know, I have- I will- I will always have an ear open for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, thank you! I'll be sure to, uh, to um, keep that in mind.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you just keep that in mind. Alright, I wanted to remind you of that. I- I- I was reminded of that earlier tonight.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, thank you so much, and um, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, bye!
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
 [Call ends]


==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 23]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 21

2014-05-29T06:38:56Z

Export A: Added Video

==Summary==

*[[Chris]] had a [[job]] interview at [[Target]] today. He claims to not remember most of it, despite it happening just hours ago.
*Chris uses his time spent playing at the Pokemon League as job experience in his interview.
*[[Kacey]] asks about his "photographic and audio memory," and Chris claims that doesn't work when he tries to remember things "spur of the moment," as if he didn't expect to be asked about the interview that happened ''that day.''
*Chris claims to have not worn his medallion to the job interview. He also admits that he complimented the female interviewers on their appearance. Kacey points out that you aren't supposed to hit on your interviewer - Chris disregards this and says it's fine because the compliment was "informal."
*Despite claiming his memory doesn't work "spur of the moment," he is able to immediately remember word for word what he said to troll phone calls. He was called gay by trolls.
*Kacey suggests simply ignoring troll phone calls - this goes completely over his head, and he immediately changes the subject.
*Kacey asks if he thinks he got the job. Chris says yes because "they smiled at me."
*Chris's logic kicks in full force. After failing to remember what his password was several times, he is locked out of his copyright management account for "multiple failed login attempts." Rather than figuring that ''his own failed log in attempts'' caused this, he believes it is the work of a troll.
*Chris believes that not only is it possible to steal the Sonichu copyright, but that all you need to do is have the copyright mailed to you and it's legally yours, disregarding the legal name on it. This further proves that Chris has ''no idea'' what the copyright actually is.
*Kacey asks Chris to film himself jogging so she can make sure he is doing it right. He says he "will consider it."
*Chris says that he will get to work on putting essays on CWCipedia.

==Video==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 21
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|T36jd-X9aGM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 20]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 22]]
}} </Center>

'''Chris:''' ''[high pitched, worried sounding]'' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey! What's up?
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. I'm doin' okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good! So... how did the interview go today? I want to hear everything about it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I'll say as much as I can remember, anyway. It was- it went good, I had, uh... two supervising fema- two supervisor women interview me over there. And, uh... and they, you know, I kept my voice at a pleasant tone and I, uh, I ca- I was, ah, I kept good on the friendly smile and uh, and I maintained eye contact and, uh... answered the questions honestly and uh...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' What kind of questions did they ask you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, like, uh... questions about my, about my past job yeah, we took kind of length(?) to talk about my, it's, they talked about my past job at Wendy's, and also about brought in, like, you know, uh, also like, find some- find some I, uh, experience at the, over a- when I volunteered for the Pokemon League. ''[pause]'' Yeah, um... and they also gave me a lot of hypothetical situations so I can't remember those, can't remember that right of the ba- remember that right off the top of my head right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, but it just happened today, how could you not remember? I mean, was it like, angry customers or was iiiit... like were you having a problem with another employee? ''[pause]'' I mean, I thought you had this photographic and audio memory.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh, pause]'' I guess I, uh... I guess I-I, I guess it's something I c- yeah. I wo- I mean, yeah, I used to-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Are you sure you're okay? You sound distressed.
 '''Chris:''' ''[pause, sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' What happened? What's wrong?
 '''Chris:''' I... when I have to remember something and then I, when I'm pressed trying to remember, as much detail, it's just - I get frustrated when I can't remember- can't remem- can't recall it. I mean, you can't just like... spur of the moment.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... it sounded like you were stressed when you picked up, so are you sure there's not something that happened today?
 '''Chris:''' I, yeah, well, I did, I mean, while I was waiting for you I did pick up, uh, did pick up a few, uh, calls from some trolls, and... ''[pause, sigh]'' There's another rumor going around and... I got calls with claims from people, um call me, like, you know, saying like, yeah, ''[mockingly]'' 'Oooh, yeah, I'm glad you finally came out of the closet and you're such a homo' and then like I told them, like, told them, 'I'm straight'. I told them I'm straight and then hung up on them. ''[sigh]'' I just had to deal with- had to deal with a bunch of those.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' That's awful! I'm so sorry that my class ran late, but it sounds like somebody needs to grow up.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, a LOT of somebodies.
 '''Kacey:''' Haha, yeah. I mean, don't they have anything BETTER to do?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, I guess it could be worse. I mean, it's just a phone call. You could just ignore them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, like I was explaining, anyways, still, I think I left a, ah, good impression at like, and I did dress nice I work like, I wor- I wore a nice, uh, blue dress shirt that, a like, nice blue striped dress shirt that I had and uh, black slacks and uh, blazer, and I did ''not'' wear my medallion. And I sat appropriately with my hands in my lap and my shoulders straight and sitting up posture and-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' That's good!
 '''Chris:''' I... yeah. And I, you know, I even them a good handshakes and uh a compliment on how they looked and uh, I think they like so I'll hear b- I'll hear- I'll find out for sure in a couple of days.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I hope you weren't too forward with the complimenting them. Normally you don't do that on an interview.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, no, no, it was like, informal it was like, you know, while were waiting for the uh, for the, the, conference room to be free 'cause there was another interview goin' on and I complimented one of the two- one, one of the two women on how they looked. They looked good. And uh, also had uh, a jeweled hair piece and had pony tails. But it was like, you know, the jewel covered up the rubber band. And I, uh, complimented on that, you know, it looked good. It looked good on that person.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. So did they have you fill out any kind of paper work or say if they would be setting up a second interview, or... um, basically, what did they say?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... well, I did have to uh, did have to sign a form where they talked about my you know, uh... my schedule, availability of which I filled out when I applied on the online application. Talked to me about that. Verifying that. Uh... other than that, it was a Q-and-A, uh... and they pretty much wrote that down themselves.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did they tell you that they would be calling you, or anything else?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said that they would call me back.
 '''Kacey:''' Did they give you a time frame?
 '''Chris:''' ''[annoyed]'' Yeah, in a couple of days. ''[pause]'' Or if you're talking a time frame in hours, no they did not give me that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, no-no-no, just... a time frame.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, in a couple of days.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... do you think you got the job?
 '''Chris:''' Mm. ''[pause]'' I'm hoping I did. I'm praying I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, did they say anything that would make you... ''think'' that?
 '''Chris:''' They smiled back at me.
 '''Kacey:''' That's their job, they're supposed to smile back.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, ah...
 '''Kacey:''' Did they say anything about paperwork, orientation... anything like that?
 '''Chris:''' Mm... they, ahhh... they never said anything about orientations yet.
 ''[pause]''
 '''Kacey:''' Mmkay. Well, did anything else happen today?
 '''Chris:''' Well... I didn't have much else planned, so after I got home, after I got back home, I, uh... had something to eat, then I took my tai-walk... jog. And then after I got home I spent some time playing Final Fantasy 7.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. That's an old game! So, uh... how about your copyright papers? How's that coming along?
 '''Chris:''' I think I already told you that, uh... that I re-registered...
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, have you checked on it online to make sure it went through?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I... Yeah, I tried checking it online, but unfortunately, uh... yeah, I hadn't changed my password and I forgot... I'm not sure what the password is. I think it's... it's suppo- supposed to be... it's supposed to have the word 'nutmeg' in it.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[typing heard in the background]''
 '''Chris:''' Or, and, it's like... 'gemtun' or something... which is a palindrome of nutmeg.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' Spelled back... spelled backward. That's what palindrome means.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Hey, w-... yeah. I think I told you that I like to do that. You know, spell words backwards and then say them like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Right!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, uh... I also have that. I think it was like, either '02241982' but it... apparently, those weren't right. And uh, I guess... I mean, like, it also said like, I tried logging in and it gave me like... it said, like, you know, account has been deactivated because of multiple failed login attempts.
 '''Kacey:''' Oooh.
 '''Chris:''' So, I don't know, maybe one of the tro-... Clyde or... Gregg. Clyde, that guy, tried to log in. And tried to... psh, mess everything up there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... who knows?
 '''Chris:''' ''[trying to interrupt]'' B-b-but y-yeah, but yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Because if he did, I mean, what would you do? I mean, if he did that, then HE would have the copyright, wouldn't he?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' Well, yeah, well, I mean, I don't know. Mm. It would depend on if he actually has an address for them to send the, uh, for them to send that, uh, piece of paper to or not.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[talking over Chris]'' Well... you should work on it and find out.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' 'Cause, I mean, if you think he did, he probably did, because that sounds like him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I, well, yeah, I'm trying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you should try harder, because I mean isn't that... important to you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is important.
 '''Kacey:''' So, you should... probably get on it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I have been on that. I was on that, I was on it earlier when I was checkin' my e-mail as well. Also, yeah, I checked my e-mail also before, uh, after I got back from my walk... and before I went to Final Fantasy 7 I checked my e-mail.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, how long did you walk?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' The usual... usual 'bout... actually, nowadays, with the way I'm walking... I'm walking, jogging a little faster. I get home in 15 to 30 minutes now.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Okay, so you... so you jogged for 15 minutes, or you walked for 15 minutes?
 '''Chris:''' ''[pause]'' Yeah, I jogged for like... five minutes out of the total time.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[long pause]'' Okay. Well. ''[sucks teeth]'' Do you ever think that... maybe you should-
 '''Chris:''' ''[tries to interrupt]''
 '''Kacey:''' -try to film yourself jogging so that maybe I could see your form and give you a few pointers?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, I don't know if it would be that easy for me to... well, I mean, it's not like I can actually... hold the camera while I'm jogging. It's like a habit of mine, swinging my arms while I jog. If I had it in my hands while I was filming, I mean... It'd be like, constant motion.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're not supposed to let your arms swing down when you're jogging. You're supposed to keep them right by you. You know, like, you can either have your elbows bent a little bit, or keep them by your side.
 '''Chris:''' ''[tries to interrupt]'' Yeah... I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just to- just set it stationary and jog in front of it for a little bit.
 '''Chris:''' ''[pause]'' Okay, well, I'll think about... okay, I'll consider it. I'll think about it.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[typing]'' Okay, but don't just be saying that to blow me off.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not saying that to blow you off. I will seriously consider... doing that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well, I just wanted to make sure that you know you're working on stuff. Um... so, um, also, I mean, you know, you haven't done a lot of things that you said you would. Like, there's no old essays on the CWCipedia, anything like that, or, um... a song. ...anything. I mean, maybe you should just do a little bit at a time. Because, I'm ''really'' trying to help you out here, but you've got to help too for you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yep. Okay. ...yeah. Yep. Yeah, just, I'm still... yes. So many things and... so many things. Yep. But yeah. I'll get... I'll get some old essays up on the CWCipedia.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well, that's good, um...
 '''Chris:''' I...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, let me let you go ahead and get to that and I will try to talk to you tomorrow. And definitely check up on that copyright, you don't want someone to steal it right from under your nose.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. ...yeah. I... I... yeah. I'll get right on that. I am right on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' I'll talk to you later. Stay safe. I- ''[cuts off]''
 '''Kacey:'''

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 20]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 22]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 20

2014-05-29T06:37:32Z

Export A: Added Video

==Summary==
*[[Chris]] and Kacey talk about his friends in [[high school]]. He said his friends only would hang out with him at school, with the exception of his 18th [[birthday]].
*Chris has his interview at [[Target]] tomorrow.
*Kacey talks about ''The Office'' (TV show), and Chris gets kind of pissy and says he's never seen it.
*Kacey asks where Chris sees himself in five years. Chris says he will be married and have a [[daughter]]. Kacey says that she was talking about a career, not his personal life.
*Chris says that he sees himself in a management position at Target in five years.
*Chris says he will tell Target that he was laid off from his last job for "personal differences".
*When asked about what his weakness in the workplace would be, Chris couldn't come up with an answer for three minutes. Eventually he said he needs to be told what to do.
*Kacey spend a while coaching Chris on his interview.
*Chris would be making $8.50 an hour.
*Kacey does a roleplay with Chris to see if he would be good at his job. This involves Kacey just screaming at Chris saying "I WANT A REFUND! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" until Chris says that he will give her [[money]].
*Chris doesn't realize that Target and [[Walmart]] have different rules and regulations.

==Video==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 20
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|qcLrLPxpPvc}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 19]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 21]]
}} </Center>
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey, how are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you? [''long pause''] I said I'm okay, how are you? [''audio is garbled'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I'm good, um, I didn't actually have work today, I just had school, so, you know, I just hung out with some friends because hanging out with friends is awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is. Yeah, I hung out with my friends a lot back in high school as well, you know. I miss those days. Sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' What did you do with your friends back then?
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, we hung around- we hung around at school- we hung around during school time. I don't think we did much hanging outside of the school time, though, um… But, yeah, we enjoyed each others company, it was good. And then, and we all, and I also had my friend- I also had my- had all my friends over for my 18th birthday party, which was- which was- which is really nice
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean I miss high school, too, but um, you know, I grew up. I got better friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So, tomorrow's the big day, I mean shouldn't uh- are you going to get lots of sleep?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna get- Yeah, I'm gonna get plenty of sleep that's no problem. That's no problem, I'm going to get plenty of sleep.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. So what are you gonna wear?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I got my clothes picked out, I got a nice uh- I got my nice dress shirt uh, gonna wear t- a white t-shirt underneath it got my- got my black pants picked out and, uh, i got my blazer and I'm not wearing the medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you're gonna wear a tie, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I don't know where my tie is.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you, uh, know how to tie a tie? I mean 'cause you should really go get one, I mean you should buy one if you can.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well I'll think about that but anyway I do know how to tie a tie
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should because studies show that, uh, having a tie gets you, um, points right off the bat.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well if I can find my tie I will wear it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you should because they make you look professional and you wanna give, um, you know, the best impression that you can.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. Most certainly do, yep.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I mean haven't you watched The Office? Everyone wears ties there.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, I think we've established that I haven't watched The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you watched a couple episodes? Oh well! Must have misheard you! So… [''Chris: "Yeah."''] So, um, and remember breakfast is important, so what are you are you going to have before you go?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna- I'm gonna have a bowl of oatmeal. Some milk with that.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, definitely have some orange juice instead, you know, Vitamin C will perk you up.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, okay, I'll have some orange juice, we have some of that. Okay, yeah, so I'll have some oatmeal with orange juice.
 '''Kacey:''' So, are you fully prepared, um, for the interview? Like, you know, um, certain questions they're going to ask, have you Googled any of this? ["Chris: "Yeah.""] 'Cause you have to be prepared for any question.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I feel prepared.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, like… Okay. Um, let's do a sample question. Where do you see yourself in five years?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, well. I'd like to think that- that in five years I'll be uh… I'll be happily married and have my- and will have our- with my wife and, uh, we'll have our daughter.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're not gonna want to know about that, they're going to want to know about your ''professional'' life. I mean, that has nothing to do with the job, they don't care. Um, how do you see yourself in f- where do you see yourself in five years ''professionally''? I mean, like they're going to want you to talk about a career or something.
 '''Chris:''' I never know how to answer that question professionally. I mean- yeah- I mean my mind's blank.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're going to have to that's a common question they're going to ask that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is a common question. Um…
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you could always go the "I think I want to be in management" you know, tell them you want to climb up the corporate ladder. Um, you could tell them that you are working on a degree or something or you're going to go back to school… I mean, you gotta have something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… Okay, well, yeah. Management that sounds good. Yeah, I see myself in a management position.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay so how are you gonna phrase that to them? They're going to want you to elaborate on it. You can't be too wordy but you can't be too concise, either.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well… Alright, well. I see myself in a management position and I'm doing- and I'm- and I'm doing a good job organizing it. Ugh…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just say that you want to see yourself progress in the company. I mean, you're going say something like, you know, I want to have more responsibility, I want to be able to do more, I feel that I can handle it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I see myself, uh, handling the, uh, selfish responsibilities in a management job at this company.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, 'cause I mean you don't want to suck up to them too much, but you gotta know something about it, you gotta know how things work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You just say I would like to see myself progress at this company, um, I can see myself doing good things in the future. You don't want to be too, um… You want to keep it general.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You want to take on responsibilities and see yourself progress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I s-
 '''Kacey:''' But you don't want to suck up and be like "oh I love Target and I've always wanted to work at Target," 'cause they're not going to believe you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, that's uh- that's uh, that's a given, that- that's uh- that would be a bad thing to say, yeah… at the time. Hm, so, yeah, I ap- I see myself, you know progressing, into like a management position
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, uh, be general. Be vague. Be like "I want to see myself progress inside this company, uh where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Chris:''' I wanna see myself progress in this company where I can take on more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, okay now they're going to ask you something like "why'd you leave your last job?," what are you going to say for that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I was laid off for personal differences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that's right, [[Kim]] told you to say that, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Um, and remember if they ask you if you want this job or need this job, you want the job. You don't want to seem desperate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I want this job.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Um, so they're going to ask you also, um, probably "what are your best skills that are going to apply to this job?"
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel like I have good social skills. I have, uh, good physical strength. I have- I can- I have, uh, experience in computer- in computer- in, uh, computer upgrading and maintenance.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, the computer would actually be good. You should definitely say that one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay… I will say that one. The computer management, uh- the computer upgrade, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but they're ask- they're also gonna ask what your major weakness is. So what are you gonna say with that? Because you want to be honest but you don't want to be too honest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ask me what my weaknesses
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, what your weaknesses are?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''long pause as Chris is dumbfounded at the question''] Yeah, that's a good question, uh, let me think further abou- let me think further about that. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to be quick on your feet in this interview, Chris, you don't want to act like everything's rehearsed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well I'm not even sure what- Hm. Um… [[Chris_and_his_Ego|Weaknesses]], [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|weaknesses]]… Um… Okay, um… I guess thing like, you know… Hm. If th-there's a point in between the- there's a point where- I'm not where I'm not working I'm like static, um-
 '''Kacey:''' -So, basically you're going to say sometimes you like routines?
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Okay, yeah, that's yeah oh I never thought about that, yeah routines. Yeah, I'm a man of rou- I'm a ma- [while stuttering, Kacey begins talking]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then say something like you like to stick to one routine, um, but then say but you would ''like'' to be more flexible.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I would like to stick to a routine
 '''Kacey:''' You like to stick to routines, but you- no, no, no. You stick to routines too much, but you would like to learn to be flexible in the future.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, that's my weakn- that's my weakness [''speaking quickly, sounds like he says "witness"''] I do tend to stick to routines
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you want to say you're willing to work on that. Um, let's see, another com-
 '''Chris:''' -But I- But I want- But I'm willing to be more flexible… In the future.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, yes. You s- You wanna say you want to learn to, you wanna let them know that, um, you're- you know that you- that you need to learn things. But um, anyway, another common question is uh "do you prefer to work by yourself or with others?"
 '''Chris:''' I am willing- I… Sometimes-sometimes I like working by myself but- but I like working with others as well.
 '''Kacey:''' A good thing to say is you generally do very well working in a group, however, uh, you are very capable of taking on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I prefer working- okay, well generally I like working in a group but I prefer taking on tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' No, say you ''can'' work in a group. Say that you are very adapt [''sic, presumedly "adept?"''] in working in a group, but can also take on tasks by yourself.
 '''Chris:''' I am adapt [''again pronounced "adapt"''] in working in a group, but I am capable of taking care of tasks by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Okay and um, then they're going to ask you the most important thing "what salary are you expecting?"
 '''Chris:''' …Well, they've already gave me the uh rate of 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay then you know that's already settled.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''chuckling softly''] That's already settled. Yeah-she-ye-they told me that-yeah, she told me that over the, uh, phone. You know, that uh they're going to pay me 8.50 an hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what hours are you gonna say that you're going to work, or did they already have that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'd have been like six to eight hours in the day.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, that's a standard, uh, shift. So are you going part time or full time?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they said they're starting me off part time.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, and so I guess you're going to definitely be doing some weekend work in there because normally they won't even hire people who won't work on the weekends or holidays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm going t-uh, yeah I will work on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay then. Alright, lemme see, um… Alright, in reference to the "in where do I see myself in five years…" Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I like to uh, I'd like to think that I am- I'd like to see myself uh, building up uh more- building up in… building up s-… in strength? And also taking in more responsibilities. [''long pause''] Uh… Is that right? I'm not sure it's right, the first half of that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, say it again?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I say- I-I see myself uh going- going up… in the company and taking in more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' If you say, uh, you're- you want to progress in the company, that's going to sound a lot more professional and it sounds like you know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' I want to- yeah, yeah I see myself progressing in the company [''Kacey: "Yes."''] taking more responsibilities.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Yes, that's good. Um, let's see. The one thing they're gonna ask you is "what have you learned from your past jobs?"
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Mm. Yeah, I have learned, uh… I have learned some ins and out I- I've learned some socialization--
 '''Chris:''' --skills… Mm. I have learned uh, how much- I have learned uh, [[11042009_51_50|how much heavy weight I can take]]. Mm...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. They're not gonna really care about- say okay- you learned how to be more sociable, and, you learned the ins and outs of a working environment.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I've learned the ins and outsa working environment.
 '''Kacey:''' [''keyboard typing in background''] Yes. Okay um. Another question they're gunna ask you is. Um. uh. Also mention that- ah- you are good with dealing with c- ah- customers as well as their pr- fixing their problems efficiently. Um, and another question they're gonna ask is, usually, "How do you think you're education is prevail- has prepared you for this position?" [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' My education has prepared me... with a techna- technological experiences.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you're just stocking, how is that going to help you?
 '''Chris:''' If I'm s- if I'm- yeah. Well… My education is uh. H-Has prepared me with org- with good organization skills. And uh. I'm- and a general understanding on how things are supposed to be put in what order. And uh… To follow such order.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay yeah. That's good, that's actually good it keeps you organized, and um, that's actually pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, hopefully you do really well.
 '''Chris:''' I'll do my best anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think with all the prepping Kim and I gave you you're going to be really good. That's going to be good just remember to- um, sound professional, but you don't want to be too personal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Professional but not too- but not too personal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh and smile. Smile a lot. But not a very big smile, you just want to seem friendly and approachable. Um...
 '''Chris:''' That's not a problem, I- I- I intend to smile.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um well let's say [''laughing''] um, let's say they um… Some interviews they'll ask you to, uh, do a role-play to see how you handle problems within your um, your uh- fellow employees as well as a customer. Uh, did you want to try one, like with a- you can pretend to be a Target associate and I can pretend I'm a customer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but just to let you know in the uh in the thing- application I filled out online, they had the- it had the questions upon those situations- up on such situations.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but on paper's a lot different than it is when you're there.
 '''Chris:''' Or- or rather would you say ''on screen''? 'Cause it was- it was- I di- [''stutters beyond comprehension''] cause I did the thing online. [''slight chuckle'']
 '''Kacey:''' I know but those are just to screen people. Um, but yeah, it's still written word.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay well, alright well, let's go though a couple.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Let me… Uh, let's see here. You are in customer service and- Okay, you're in customer service and I'm coming up to your line. Okay, I just got to your line, what's the first thing you say? Then we'll go ahead and go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay… [''Chris's voice goes even higher for his "friendly voice"''] Good afternoon, ma'am, may I help you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly and irritated''] I want a refund, where's your manager?
 '''Chris:''' Heh, okay… Well I, well let's see ma'am, uh okay uh, let's just say you bought a blender, okay? Alright, well yeah I see your return- your retur- I see you… Alright, uh returning your blender ma'am, is there something wrong with the blender?
 '''Kacey:''' Just get the manager! I want to speak to a manager. YOU are not important enough, I need a manager.
 '''Chris:''' [''brief pause''] Well, ma'am, I am uh- I am uh- I am uh customer service rep here and I could certainly, uh- I could certainly- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well what can you do to help me with this?
 '''Chris:''' Uh…
 '''Kacey:''' I just want a refund, I want my cash back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am do you have the receipt?
 '''Kacey:''' No, of course I don't! I just want this to be taken back.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, ma'am well we will certainly take it back, and I'll uh scan this back in and give ya a refund. Yeah, so, yeah, so… I look at it and scan it in make sure- [''is cut off by Kacey'']
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, you're not going to be able to do that, 'cause most associates aren't going to be able to. Um, you're going to have to be able to take care of these people right now, 'cause the correct thing to do is, um, to get them to explain the situation, try to calm them down, let them know they are important to you, but then you are going to have to get a manager because you're not going to have the access to refund it and most places will only give store credit, um, if you don't have a receipt, and sometimes they won't even take it back at all. Though you did try to handle it very well.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well… I will. I mean it's like you know-
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies for you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' They'll go over policies with you so that you'll be able to better do these, I'm sure.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they'll go over their policies with me, yeah. I was just thinking in like reference to, you know, I had to return a couple of things to Wal-Mart and that's pretty much what they did, uh, you know. They just took it and, uh, scanned it into the computer look and make sure they have it and the current price- the current price that comes up. And, uh, then they issued a refund.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you're not going to be able to issue the refund, they're going to be able to. Wal-Mart does that, not Target. Their policies are gonna be a ''little'' different.
 '''Chris:''' Really? There are different polices between Wal-Mart and Target?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, every store has their own policy.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean they're different stores, they're not owned by the same company.
 '''Chris:''' …Okay. [''as if admitting defeat''] Alright, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that should be common sense.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, maybe you should Google some more things about Target before you go to bed tonight, you know, so that uh- 'Cause they actually have their policies on their website. You should read up on those so you look informed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, read up on their policies, yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's always a good idea to know what- exactly what you're gonna be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. [''about to continue before Kacey speaks'']
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well let me let you go look those policies up and I will talk to you tomorrow. Uh, good luck!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, thank you, alright I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care and stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you, too.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, bye now.
 '''Kacey:''' Bye.


==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 21]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]
br>

Kacey Call 18

2014-05-23T06:54:38Z

Export A:

==Summary==

*[[Kacey]] prepared a list of questions for [[Chris]] for an essay she's writing.
*Chris states basic things like where he lives, his age, birthday, relatives, height etc.
*Chris struggles to remember the most basic facts about his family members including hair color, height and age.
*Above Chris's "left breast", he has a scar from a bike accident.
*Kacey tells Chris to go to the doctor.
*Chris thinks that [[Gregg Mays]] is [[Clyde Cash]], who died and came back from the dead under a new name. But really Gregg Mays killed Clyde and is pretending to by Clyde.
*Chris doesn't believe that [[Ryan Cash]] killed himself.
*Chris says the real reason that Clyde Cash [[trolls]] him is because Clyde is a [[homosexual]].
*Clyde tried to make Chris make a video of [[Sonic]] and Tails toys going on a homosexual date.
*The idea that Clyde is straight makes Chris [[stress sigh]].
*Chris claims that his passwords are complicated so Clyde must be a good hacker.
*Chris says that his last password was: "J04nE1de4R08i2on", which is an [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Elder_Robison author's name] (incidentally, one with [[Asperger syndrome|aspergers]]). Kacey says this is leet speak, and Chris says that he's never heard that term before.
*Chris talked to Clyde earlier in the day. Clyde claimed that he tampered with Chris's [[PS3]].
*Chris turns his PS3 off and unplugs it when he is not using it, so Clyde can't hack into it to get his password.
*Kacey says that Chris should just break his PS3 so Clyde will stop bothering him. Chris claims that he can't break his PS3 because he has a PSP and that would break his [[PSP]] too.
*Chris says that video games are not the most important thing in his life, as finding a sweetheart in real life is.
*Chris has an interview next week at [[Target]].
*Chris says that he has tricked Clyde into not hacking him anymore by telling him that he doesn't care about his PS3 anymore; Kacey suggests making a video of pretending to give away his PS3 or throwing it in the trash. This idea makes Chris stress sigh.
*"When I say I am going to think about it, it means I am going to do it" -Chris, regarding stress sighing and saying he's working on it.
*Clyde told Chris to unscrew the system and to take out a battery so he can't be hacked anymore.
*[[Kim]]'s boyfriend Logan told Chris that this is a safe thing to do.
*Kacey eventually gets Chris to say he will open his PS3 and remove the battery.
*Chris made an appointment with the doctor to talk about heart pains.

==Video==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 18
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Jad3nDSbUeg}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 17]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 19]]
}} </Center>
[Recording Begins]
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey it's Kacey, how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay, just, you know, a little tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, a little tired from the day
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [laughs] we both said yeah at the same time.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway I got you survey printed out. I can answer your questions for you now if you want me to. Or would you rather I send that back to you in text over the emails.
 '''Kacey:''' You can do both, it doesn't matter. If you want to do that I can get them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah plus you can write down the answers as I tell them to you right now, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah go ahead
 '''Chris:''' Okay, alright well I'm 27 years old
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [sound of typing]
 '''Chris:''' I was born on February 24th, 1992
 '''Kacey:''' You said 1992, you mean 82 right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, 1982
 '''Kacey:''' [pause] okay
 '''Chris:''' Alright, and I live in the United States and my state area prefecture of birth would be Charlottesville, Virginia
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, [typing] so you've been there all your life.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I've been in Virginia all my life. Ah so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah that's all I need, that's fine.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay I have two half brothers and one half-sister.
 '''Kacey:''' [typing] Their ages?
 '''Chris:''' Last time I checked, I think my half-brother is Allan is like 42
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' I think Cole- I think my half-brother Cole is like, uh, I don't know, 38 or 40, and I think Carol is like 37 I'm just guessing off the top of my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay that's fine [computer tone]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and uh let's see, you know, my father's 82 so take away 27 from his age, um, 62… He was like 55 and my mother will be 58 this year so, let's see, take away 20… um… Yeah take away 20… 48, and she was 41, so 55 and 41 respectively for my father and mother.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah and I'm currently 5'10”.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' Mmmm, I'm not sure if I'm the shortest or the tallest. I think Cole and Allan are a little bit taller than me the last time I was, you know, last time I was with them I was a little bit shorter than them. Mmm, and Carol might be shorter than me I'm not sure.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I'll put middle then.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mm'kay. And you know my eye color, one green and one blue, though they were originally blue, both of them.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay then, I'm going to put blue because it has to be genetic.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. I'm not sure about siblings sharing the same eye color.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Ah, yeah I'm right handed, and I'm pretty sure my siblings are right handed too.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' I'm brown haired so are Cole and Allan, and I believe Carol was a blonde.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [typing]
 '''Chris:''' Alright and the fine markings [long pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Also before you get into that, were your half-brothers and your half sisters on your mom's side or your dad's side because that's important.
 '''Chris:''' Okay Allan and Carol were on my father's side. Joseph Cole Smithy was on my Mother's side.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, and no defining markings? Okay then that's all I need.
 '''Chris:''' No wait a minute, I do have a defining marking.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [breathing sound]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, on my chest above my left breast [laughs] above my left breast. There's this oval shaped, badge-like scar that I got from a bicycle accident when I was like five to seven years old.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that's not genetic so I don't need that, but thank you [coughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean you said, you know if it's scarring or marking related to include that-
 '''Kacey:''' But it has to be genetically related, a bicycle accident isn't genetic, but thank you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, that pretty much covers it then.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay thank you [laughs] I appreciate it. I need to get a lot more.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean that was all the questions you had in the email so far.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I need to get a lot more people to do it, I need like forty people per time zone.
 '''Chris:''' Forty people per time zone?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Wow, there are a lot of time zones.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah for America, everything else you have to do by country. But, if you had an accident doing a bike before maybe you should ride bikes instead of jogging that would help a lot and get your heart rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, okay
 '''Kacey:''' By the way, did you get those emails about heart rate?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got your email about heart rate, I haven't listened to that yet but I will look into it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I was kind of busy between today and yesterday, because this fella who calls himself Gregg Mays, but I'm pretty sure it's also Clyde Cash because he called me-
 '''Kacey:''' I thought he was dead.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I thought so too, but he decided to come back by a different name of Gregg Mays, I also recognized him as such-
 '''Kacey:''' How could someone come back from the dead Chris, what is he like a zombie or something?
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know. This guy was assuming a different- This guy was [pause] Okay it's like this, aside from his original name, whatever it was, he was going by a different name.
 '''Kacey:''' But he was dead, so he's a zombie.
 '''Chris:''' No, I mean this guy was pretending to be Clyde Cash, it's like he could kill the pretend person and still be alive himself. Like say-
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, so you thinking this guy killed the guy and is pretended to be him, who would be a zombie?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, let me give you an example. Let's say I was going around pretending to be Christopher, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' You mean my Chris? You couldn't do that, no way (laughs).
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no. Anyway I'm just doing this by a name basis only. But anyway, let's say I was going around the internet picking on this guy who- and I keep telling them my name is Christopher.
 '''Kacey:''' But you do tell everyone that your name is Christopher.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, let me change- let me start over then. Okay, let's pretend that I was going around the internet calling myself Dick, alright? Dick. And I was bugging on this guy, bullying him, and then he decides to stand up against me and take down my source of anger against him, and then it's like, “Oh my God okay, I'm going to go kill myself.” So Dick kills himself, and is dead. But that doesn't mean that I, Christian am dead, it's just the character of Dick is dead.
 '''Kacey:''' So the guy kills himself, and he's dead, and he comes back as a zombie. Okay I got it, he must have like, the T-Virus or something.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no he did not really kill himself, he just killed the character.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, how did he kill the character? That's just crazy! So it's a character-zombie, okay!
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] It's a- Okay, you know characters are made it. It's not necessarily the person that did it-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, how could the character be dead if it's made up?
 '''Chris:''' Okay you know the guy that plays House on House? His name is not really-
 '''Kacey:''' That's an actor
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know that's an actor yeah. That's what I've been talking about, this guy was an actor.
 '''Kacey:''' Why would an actor be doing this, that doesn't make sense. Was he getting paid or something?
 '''Chris:''' No, he's not a real actor. He was just acting in his self-proclaimed role as Clyde Cash. And then, it's like in the show he kills- it's like the character Clyde Cash is dead, but the actor for real is still alive.
 '''Kacey:''' But why would an actor be messing with you? So you think this Clyde Cash person is not Clyde Cash. But he made Clyde Cash dead, and now Clyde Cash is back, therefore the character-zombie. And now he works on House, I got it.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] No, no, no. The guy who was Clyde Cash, is now pretending to be Gregg Mays. I also recognized the email address. The very same email address that Clyde Cash used those months ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Well if it's still the same email address then he's pretending to be the same person right? Therefore [sound break] a zombie! [laughs] I mean, just tell him he's a zombie. Be like, “no you're not a zombie.”
 '''Chris:''' Uh no he's-
 '''Kacey:''' People don't come back from the dead, they just don't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean- [stress sigh] Jeez. I mean, come on, in reality this guy is by a whole different name. We're not sure what his real identity is. And he's been fooling around chasing me- and he was chasing me around the internet claiming to be going by the name Clyde Cash. And then, he claims that he's going to kill- he claims that Clyde Cash is going to kill himself. So the character dies, but the actor is still alive, and now the actor returns and goes by a different character of Gregg Mays.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh so he's like Carmen Sandiego he goes everywhere and he has disguises.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah aliases, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, why would you think he would come back if he killed himself, or the character-zombie off. That doesn't make sense, why would he come back. And why would you think he's a character anyway. Maybe this guy is real…and undead.
 '''Chris:''' I know the person, the guy is real. But he was pretending to be-
 '''Kacey:''' But maybe he really is this Clyde Cash though, that's what I don't get. People don't just do that, they don't pretend to be different people. Why is he after you anyway? What did you do to him?
 '''Chris:''' I have done nothing to him. I did not know him, until a whole big number of months- like a number of months ago, and then he hacked into my web-hosting site starting with my original Tripod site and then-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, there has to be a reason. What happened? He's got to be a reason for this vendetta.
 '''Chris:''' I have no idea. I never knew the guy personally.
 '''Kacey:''' Nothing happened to him that would make him angry at you? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I don't-
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't sound right. Did you ever hurt his feelings, or maybe it was through somebody else that knows him that you know?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] He's-
 '''Kacey:''' There's no way a random person would just pretend this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I know, I know. Okay, yeah. Supposedly Clyde Cash's story for him trolling me was that supposedly he quote-unquote brother, Ryan Cash, committed suicide, after the one-time threat, after I found the ED Page, and I was like, “That's it, I'm not drawing anymore comics.” Then supposedly Ryan killed himself, suicide, because of my little hint there. But then, I did continue on into the comics.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but then you have to own up to those consequences of your actions. This guy is probably real then. I know I'd be really upset if one of my siblings killed themselves.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah [stress sigh] I did apologize, and I felt sorry for-
 '''Kacey:''' Was it a very heartfelt apology?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. But he still trolls me-
 '''Kacey:''' Well maybe it wasn't enough if he's still after you. I don't think this is an act, or something--
 '''Kacey:''' It's not a game, there's no zombies.
 '''Chris:''' The only other instinct that he might have against me is because he's an obvious homosexual.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Okay, what does that have to do with anything?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not particularly fond of homosexual dudes. I think we've been over that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay but how do you think he's gay? How is it obvious? Has he hit on you? Have you seen him having gay sex?
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] No I don't have visual proof, but he just sounds-
 '''Kacey:''' Then he's probably not gay.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, Okay well-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, unless he's come on to you, or you've seen him, he's not gay.
 '''Chris:''' Well actually I can tell you this. In his recent threat, after he stole my Playstation Network account the first time, day before yesterday, he wanted me to make a video of my Sonic and Tails plush dolls going on a homosexual date and having homosexual sex.
 '''Kacey:''' I think he would just be doing that to bother you because he knows how much you hate gay people. I don't think a gay person would do that, in fact that sounds like something a straight guy would do because they think it's funny.
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] Well anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' A gay person wouldn't think that's funny because it's too close to them. That's really proof he's not gay.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' Gay people don't act like that
 '''Chris:''' Well, whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' He's probably 100% straight-
 '''Chris:''' (Sigh) well
 '''Kacey:''' -and a T-Virus zombie.
 '''Chris:''' Look forget the word zombie right now okay?
 '''Kacey:''' [Laughs] But, that's what it sounds like. I mean, I'm sorry, it's a joke.
 '''Chris:''' That's what it may sound like but that is not the case, I mean, yeah Kim can tell you a lot more about Clyde Cash/Gregg Mays when y'all talk next time. Mmm but anyway, yeah, I did not follow up on his- like, as if I'm going to do that. Anyway, then I called Sony and got my account back, 5:30 pm. Thursday? Wednesday? It's Friday now, yeah, Wednesday. I got it back 5:30 Wednesday. I changed the password and the email address. But then, somehow, and I had not even told anybody my new email address and the password [voice gets high-pitched] and at 11:30 he get's into my main Playstation account again!
 '''Kacey:''' Well if he's done it before, he's probably really good at it. He probably doesn't need anything to go on, he's probably just some super-hacker. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' [Stress sigh] Anyway, yesterday afternoon I called Sony and told them about this guy hacking into my account again and they're like, “Okay well, since you backed up will changed you Sonichu ID back and get you a temporary password and put your account on hold, on suspension, and our crack team will investigate this guy further, and see how he was able to get into your account.
 '''Kacey:''' Well do you make it an easy password and login?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Kacey:''' Do you make it easy for someone to figure out? Some people say never make your passwords birthdates or the word “God” or something. Is it easy? Do you use the same password over and over?
 '''Chris:''' Actually no, my password is very complicated. Okay, well I'll tell it to you since it's already used up at this point. The last password I used was capital J, zero, four, lower case N, capital E, one, lower case D, E, four, capital R, zero-eight, lower case I, two, lower case O, N. [J04nE1de4R08i2on]
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, um. So that's just a random string of words, how do you remember that?
 '''Chris:''' Actually in this case, this was an author's name. I take his name and change some of his letters to numbers. You know, three can look like M, or N's, E or W.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, well. Maybe he's cracked that code. If you use that a lot he knows what it is. I hate leet speak, it's so stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Leet speak?
 '''Kacey:''' Leet speak, that's what it's called when you change letters into numbers like that.
 '''Chris:''' Leet speak? I've never heard of that before. I just thought it was a fun thing to do. I often like to spell words backwards, and say them backwards like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should look it up. But still, maybe he's just cracked your code. He's probably really good at what he does.
 '''Chris:''' Actually I talked- Actually while I was waiting for Kim, I picked up on him calling me twice tonight. I also talked to him the night before a little bit. He said that he supposedly tampered with my PS3. I mean other than- I mean, I'm not sure how he could do that.
 '''Kacey:''' He could! I mean, there's tons of ways for people to do stuff like that. You should probably listen to him. If he's done it before he's going to do it again.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' Especially with all the times you download stuff to your PSN, yeah he could probably do it.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm, well anyway I currently have my Playstation 3 turned off and unplugged so he cannot get to the new passwords and email addresses from my other accounts aside from the named one. Anyway, aside from that-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe he'll break it or something, but then this would all be over and then it wouldn't matter right?
 '''Chris:''' Maybe he'll break it?
 '''Kacey:''' Why not if he can mess with it further? Maybe you should just give up on it. Obviously this guy is going to be after you, is it really worth it?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Well I'm not going to give up on my PSN on that note you know, someone will help me-
 '''Kacey:''' It's just videogames.
 '''Chris:''' -my main account back. Yeah, but still so much I could be able to do only when I have access to my account. Like, you cannot be logged off your Playstation Network Account and copy your PS1 classic or PSP games to the PSP, or even the videos you download through the Playstation Network you have to be logged into the Playstation Network in order to copy the videos and those games to the-
 '''Kacey:''' But still, videogames. I mean, it's not going to be a huge loss.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm
 '''Kacey:''' If you make them so important, of course he's going to go for those. He's probably going after the most important thing in your life right now, which would be videogames.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, uh yeah, as if that's the most important thing in my life- I mean most important thing in my life right now is going out in real life and trying to find myself a woman to be sweetheart.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... That's not a goal that should be your priority. That's- especially if you hadn't spent most of your time playing videogames you might have been successful by now. But still, your priority should be getting a job and getting out of the house and I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well fortunately-
 '''Kacey:''' -Keeping your promises.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well fortunately I am on the verge of getting a job you know, I got my interview next Tuesday at Target.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well good luck on that. But, I don't know, maybe you should just let it go.
 '''Chris:''' You're still talking about the videogames aren't you?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah especially if you have all this going for you now, you probably should just be like, make him think you don't care.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well I pretty much given him that impression at this point.
 '''Kacey:''' Plus it probably would make you a lot more appealing if you really want a girlfriend.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I should know, I'm a girl.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. But anyway, maybe he'll back off a little bit now on that note. Especially since-
 '''Kacey:''' Well he's not going to if you make it such a big deal, and you keep going after it. You're seriously just going to have to be like, “You know what? Fine, I don't need it anymore.” It's how those psychos think.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm…
 '''Kacey:''' He's going to know you want it back if you keep trying. You're going to have to trick him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I am tricking him right now, I mean a little bit. When he called-
 '''Kacey:''' No you're not you're worrying over it. You want to get it back. You're going to have to be serious and say, “I don't care anymore.”
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I did tell him that, yeah. I did tell him that.
 '''Kacey:''' Make a video of you throwing it away or something- giving it away. Just be like, “I don't need this anymore.” Obviously he's watching you and following you.
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' You've got to give him a direct message. You've got to outsmart him. You're smart, you can do it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah I mean, I don't want to have to give it away for real.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then he's just going to keep doing this, and you're basically asking him to do it. That's the point of the video though, to just be like, “I don't need this anymore.” Maybe he'll take it at face value. It's worth a shot.
 '''Chris:''' Alright well, I'll think about it. I will think about it.
 '''Kacey:''' You should do it. Because when you say, “I'll think about it,” It means you're not going to do it.
 '''Chris:''' No, when I say, “I'll think about it,” It means I'll think about it, and then I am likely to do it. I mean, I told you I thought about the exercise and sorry, it's just- I thought about calling the doctor and I called the-
 '''Kacey:''' Well you need to shake this guy, because obviously he's mentally imbalanced. I would do anything I can to get rid of him. Especially if he has anything to do with your PS3 being bugged or something. I'd be like, “Screw this, I don't need this anymore.” I mean he's probably already heard it by now.”
 '''Chris:''' He's probably already heard it?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, if he's done something to it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well anyway, he also told me something else, I should take it apart and remove the battery that's by the Blu-ray Drive, and then that will do something to the mod chip and then put the battery back it. It's not like I'm going to listen to him like that, I'd only do it if Sony suggested I do it. Or like, I need a professional like Kim's boyfriend Logan. She confirms to me that he knows pretty much about that so you know, I told her to ask him that for me about what will happen if I remove the battery from the Blu-Ray drive area there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well maybe you should do it. If he's really got something in your PS3 he's not just doing it for fun. You probably should listen to him. It couldn't hurt to just look.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I'm not sure, I mean- If I remove the battery it might wipe out my user list on my PS3.
 '''Kacey:''' No it won't it's just the battery! Batteries don't hold memory or information, what?
 '''Chris:''' It's like if you remove the battery from a clock radio, a digital clock radio okay? That's like an internal battery and then the power goes out-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not a computer, that's different. I can remove my hard drive from my computer and none of my stuff is going to be erased.
 '''Chris:''' Alright
 '''Kacey:''' It's made to hold that memory. It's not going to hurt it. It's not a clock radio, I think it's a little more advanced than that. I mean, I thought you were good at electronics.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am fairly good at electronics, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you should know something so basic.
 '''Chris:''' Well I just didn't know for sure about what he's saying here.
 '''Kacey:''' No it should be fine.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm
 '''Kacey:''' Haven't you replaced any hard drives before in anything?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I have-
 '''Kacey:''' Nothing gets erased.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, I have replaced the hard drive in my PS3 drive twice, from the original-
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you should be fine.
 '''Chris:''' Alright I'll do it, I'll take it apart and look for the battery, and remove it and then put it back in. I mean, after we finish up this conversation here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah. That's fine.
 '''br>Chris:''' Mm'kay
 '''Kacey:''' Alright I might be late tomorrow because I close, but I'll talk to you later.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well also I'll just let you know I called up the doctor's (?) office earlier today and I made an appointment to see him this morning at 10:45 or 10:30 I forget which one. Anyway talking about my chest- talking about my heart pains.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, heart pain?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, didn't you and Kim talk about this? She told you had talked about this.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah okay I remember.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna go see him about that this morning. Mm'kay. Alright I'll talk to you tomorrow, you take care okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well if you're having heart pains over this, that's a good reason to get rid of this shit. I'll just talk to you tomorrow, just feel better.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, you stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, bye
 '''Chris:''' bye-bye

[recording ends]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 17]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 18

2014-05-23T06:51:57Z

Export A:

==Summary==

*[[Kacey]] prepared a list of questions for [[Chris]] for an essay she's writing.
*Chris states basic things like where he lives, his age, birthday, relatives, height etc.
*Chris struggles to remember the most basic facts about his family members including hair color, height and age.
*Above Chris's "left breast", he has a scar from a bike accident.
*Kacey tells Chris to go to the doctor.
*Chris thinks that [[Gregg Mays]] is [[Clyde Cash]], who died and came back from the dead under a new name. But really Gregg Mays killed Clyde and is pretending to by Clyde.
*Chris doesn't believe that [[Ryan Cash]] killed himself.
*Chris says the real reason that Clyde Cash [[trolls]] him is because Clyde is a [[homosexual]].
*Clyde tried to make Chris make a video of [[Sonic]] and Tails toys going on a homosexual date.
*The idea that Clyde is straight makes Chris [[stress sigh]].
*Chris claims that his passwords are complicated so Clyde must be a good hacker.
*Chris says that his last password was: "J04nE1de4R08i2on", which is an [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Elder_Robison author's name] (incidentally, one with [[Asperger syndrome|aspergers]]). Kacey says this is leet speak, and Chris says that he's never heard that term before.
*Chris talked to Clyde earlier in the day. Clyde claimed that he tampered with Chris's [[PS3]].
*Chris turns his PS3 off and unplugs it when he is not using it, so Clyde can't hack into it to get his password.
*Kacey says that Chris should just break his PS3 so Clyde will stop bothering him. Chris claims that he can't break his PS3 because he has a PSP and that would break his [[PSP]] too.
*Chris says that video games are not the most important thing in his life, as finding a sweetheart in real life is.
*Chris has an interview next week at [[Target]].
*Chris says that he has tricked Clyde into not hacking him anymore by telling him that he doesn't care about his PS3 anymore; Kacey suggests making a video of pretending to give away his PS3 or throwing it in the trash. This idea makes Chris stress sigh.
*"When I say I am going to think about it, it means I am going to do it" -Chris, regarding stress sighing and saying he's working on it.
*Clyde told Chris to unscrew the system and to take out a battery so he can't be hacked anymore.
*[[Kim]]'s boyfriend Logan told Chris that this is a safe thing to do.
*Kacey eventually gets Chris to say he will open his PS3 and remove the battery.
*Chris made an appointment with the doctor to talk about heart pains.

==Video==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 18
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Jad3nDSbUeg}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 17]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 19]]
}} </Center>
[Recording Begins]
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey it's Kacey, how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm okay, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay, just, you know, a little tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, a little tired from the day
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [laughs] we both said yeah at the same time.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway I got you survey printed out. I can answer your questions for you now if you want me to. Or would you rather I send that back to you in text over the emails.
 '''Kacey:''' You can do both, it doesn't matter. If you want to do that I can get them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah plus you can write down the answers as I tell them to you right now, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah go ahead
 '''Chris:''' Okay, alright well I'm 27 years old
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [sound of typing]
 '''Chris:''' I was born on February 24th, 1992
 '''Kacey:''' You said 1992, you mean 82 right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, 1982
 '''Kacey:''' [pause] okay
 '''Chris:''' Alright, and I live in the United States and my state area prefecture of birth would be Charlottesville, Virginia
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, [typing] so you've been there all your life.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I've been in Virginia all my life. Ah so-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah that's all I need, that's fine.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay I have two half brothers and one half-sister.
 '''Kacey:''' [typing] Their ages?
 '''Chris:''' Last time I checked, I think my half-brother is Allan is like 42
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' I think Cole- I think my half-brother Cole is like, uh, I don't know, 38 or 40, and I think Carol is like 37 I'm just guessing off the top of my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay that's fine [computer tone]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and uh let's see, you know, my father's 82 so take away 27 from his age, um, 62… He was like 55 and my mother will be 58 this year so, let's see, take away 20… um… Yeah take away 20… 48, and she was 41, so 55 and 41 respectively for my father and mother.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah and I'm currently 5'10”.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhmm
 '''Chris:''' Mmmm, I'm not sure if I'm the shortest or the tallest. I think Cole and Allan are a little bit taller than me the last time I was, you know, last time I was with them I was a little bit shorter than them. Mmm, and Carol might be shorter than me I'm not sure.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I'll put middle then.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mm'kay. And you know my eye color, one green and one blue, though they were originally blue, both of them.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay then, I'm going to put blue because it has to be genetic.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. I'm not sure about siblings sharing the same eye color.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Ah, yeah I'm right handed, and I'm pretty sure my siblings are right handed too.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' I'm brown haired so are Cole and Allan, and I believe Carol was a blonde.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [typing]
 '''Chris:''' Alright and the fine markings [long pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Also before you get into that, were your half-brothers and your half sisters on your mom's side or your dad's side because that's important.
 '''Chris:''' Okay Allan and Carol were on my father's side. Joseph Cole Smithy was on my Mother's side.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, and no defining markings? Okay then that's all I need.
 '''Chris:''' No wait a minute, I do have a defining marking.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay [breathing sound]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, on my chest above my left breast [laughs] above my left breast. There's this oval shaped, badge-like scar that I got from a bicycle accident when I was like five to seven years old.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that's not genetic so I don't need that, but thank you [coughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean you said, you know if it's scarring or marking related to include that-
 '''Kacey:''' But it has to be genetically related, a bicycle accident isn't genetic, but thank you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, that pretty much covers it then.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay thank you [laughs] I appreciate it. I need to get a lot more.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean that was all the questions you had in the email so far.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I need to get a lot more people to do it, I need like forty people per time zone.
 '''Chris:''' Forty people per time zone?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Wow, there are a lot of time zones.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah for America, everything else you have to do by country. But, if you had an accident doing a bike before maybe you should ride bikes instead of jogging that would help a lot and get your heart rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, okay
 '''Kacey:''' By the way, did you get those emails about heart rate?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got your email about heart rate, I haven't listened to that yet but I will look into it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I was kind of busy between today and yesterday, because this fella who calls himself Gregg Mays, but I'm pretty sure it's also Clyde Cash because he called me-
 '''Kacey:''' I thought he was dead.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I thought so too, but he decided to come back by a different name of Gregg Mays, I also recognized him as such-
 '''Kacey:''' How could someone come back from the dead Chris, what is he like a zombie or something?
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know. This guy was assuming a different- This guy was [pause] Okay it's like this, aside from his original name, whatever it was, he was going by a different name.
 '''Kacey:''' But he was dead, so he's a zombie.
 '''Chris:''' No, I mean this guy was pretending to be Clyde Cash, it's like he could kill the pretend person and still be alive himself. Like say-
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, so you thinking this guy killed the guy and is pretended to be him, who would be a zombie?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, let me give you an example. Let's say I was going around pretending to be Christopher, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' You mean my Chris? You couldn't do that, no way (laughs).
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no. Anyway I'm just doing this by a name basis only. But anyway, let's say I was going around the internet picking on this guy who- and I keep telling them my name is Christopher.
 '''Kacey:''' But you do tell everyone that your name is Christopher.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, let me change- let me start over then. Okay, let's pretend that I was going around the internet calling myself Dick, alright? Dick. And I was bugging on this guy, bullying him, and then he decides to stand up against me and take down my source of anger against him, and then it's like, “Oh my God okay, I'm going to go kill myself.” So Dick kills himself, and is dead. But that doesn't mean that I, Christian am dead, it's just the character of Dick is dead.
 '''Kacey:''' So the guy kills himself, and he's dead, and he comes back as a zombie. Okay I got it, he must have like, the T-Virus or something.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no he did not really kill himself, he just killed the character.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, how did he kill the character? That's just crazy! So it's a character-zombie, okay!
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] It's a- Okay, you know characters are made it. It's not necessarily the person that did it-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, how could the character be dead if it's made up?
 '''Chris:''' Okay you know the guy that plays House on House? His name is not really-
 '''Kacey:''' That's an actor
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know that's an actor yeah. That's what I've been talking about, this guy was an actor.
 '''Kacey:''' Why would an actor be doing this, that doesn't make sense. Was he getting paid or something?
 '''Chris:''' No, he's not a real actor. He was just acting in his self-proclaimed role as Clyde Cash. And then, it's like in the show he kills- it's like the character Clyde Cash is dead, but the actor for real is still alive.
 '''Kacey:''' But why would an actor be messing with you? So you think this Clyde Cash person is not Clyde Cash. But he made Clyde Cash dead, and now Clyde Cash is back, therefore the character-zombie. And now he works on House, I got it.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] No, no, no. The guy who was Clyde Cash, is now pretending to be Gregg Mays. I also recognized the email address. The very same email address that Clyde Cash used those months ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Well if it's still the same email address then he's pretending to be the same person right? Therefore [sound break] a zombie! [laughs] I mean, just tell him he's a zombie. Be like, “no you're not a zombie.”
 '''Chris:''' Uh no he's-
 '''Kacey:''' People don't come back from the dead, they just don't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean- [stress sigh] Jeez. I mean, come on, in reality this guy is by a whole different name. We're not sure what his real identity is. And he's been fooling around chasing me- and he was chasing me around the internet claiming to be going by the name Clyde Cash. And then, he claims that he's going to kill- he claims that Clyde Cash is going to kill himself. So the character dies, but the actor is still alive, and now the actor returns and goes by a different character of Gregg Mays.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh so he's like Carmen Sandiego he goes everywhere and he has disguises.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah aliases, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, why would you think he would come back if he killed himself, or the character-zombie off. That doesn't make sense, why would he come back. And why would you think he's a character anyway. Maybe this guy is real…and undead.
 '''Chris:''' I know the person, the guy is real. But he was pretending to be-
 '''Kacey:''' But maybe he really is this Clyde Cash though, that's what I don't get. People don't just do that, they don't pretend to be different people. Why is he after you anyway? What did you do to him?
 '''Chris:''' I have done nothing to him. I did not know him, until a whole big number of months- like a number of months ago, and then he hacked into my web-hosting site starting with my original Tripod site and then-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, there has to be a reason. What happened? He's got to be a reason for this vendetta.
 '''Chris:''' I have no idea. I never knew the guy personally.
 '''Kacey:''' Nothing happened to him that would make him angry at you? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' I don't-
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't sound right. Did you ever hurt his feelings, or maybe it was through somebody else that knows him that you know?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] He's-
 '''Kacey:''' There's no way a random person would just pretend this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I know, I know. Okay, yeah. Supposedly Clyde Cash's story for him trolling me was that supposedly he quote-unquote brother, Ryan Cash, committed suicide, after the one-time threat, after I found the ED Page, and I was like, “That's it, I'm not drawing anymore comics.” Then supposedly Ryan killed himself, suicide, because of my little hint there. But then, I did continue on into the comics.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, but then you have to own up to those consequences of your actions. This guy is probably real then. I know I'd be really upset if one of my siblings killed themselves.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah [stress sigh] I did apologize, and I felt sorry for-
 '''Kacey:''' Was it a very heartfelt apology?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. But he still trolls me-
 '''Kacey:''' Well maybe it wasn't enough if he's still after you. I don't think this is an act, or something--
 '''Kacey:''' It's not a game, there's no zombies.
 '''Chris:''' The only other instinct that he might have against me is because he's an obvious homosexual.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Okay, what does that have to do with anything?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not particularly fond of homosexual dudes. I think we've been over that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay but how do you think he's gay? How is it obvious? Has he hit on you? Have you seen him having gay sex?
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] No I don't have visual proof, but he just sounds-
 '''Kacey:''' Then he's probably not gay.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, Okay well-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, unless he's come on to you, or you've seen him, he's not gay.
 '''Chris:''' Well actually I can tell you this. In his recent threat, after he stole my Playstation Network account the first time, day before yesterday, he wanted me to make a video of my Sonic and Tails plush dolls going on a homosexual date and having homosexual sex.
 '''Kacey:''' I think he would just be doing that to bother you because he knows how much you hate gay people. I don't think a gay person would do that, in fact that sounds like something a straight guy would do because they think it's funny.
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] Well anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' A gay person wouldn't think that's funny because it's too close to them. That's really proof he's not gay.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' Gay people don't act like that
 '''Chris:''' Well, whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' He's probably 100% straight-
 '''Chris:''' (Sigh) well
 '''Kacey:''' -and a T-Virus zombie.
 '''Chris:''' Look forget the word zombie right now okay?
 '''Kacey:''' [Laughs] But, that's what it sounds like. I mean, I'm sorry, it's a joke.
 '''Chris:''' That's what it may sound like but that is not the case, I mean, yeah Kim can tell you a lot more about Clyde Cash/Gregg Mays when y'all talk next time. Mmm but anyway, yeah, I did not follow up on his- like, as if I'm going to do that. Anyway, then I called Sony and got my account back, 5:30 pm. Thursday? Wednesday? It's Friday now, yeah, Wednesday. I got it back 5:30 Wednesday. I changed the password and the email address. But then, somehow, and I had not even told anybody my new email address and the password [voice gets high-pitched] and at 11:30 he get's into my main Playstation account again!
 '''Kacey:''' Well if he's done it before, he's probably really good at it. He probably doesn't need anything to go on, he's probably just some super-hacker. I mean-
 '''Chris:''' [Stress sigh] Anyway, yesterday afternoon I called Sony and told them about this guy hacking into my account again and they're like, “Okay well, since you backed up will changed you Sonichu ID back and get you a temporary password and put your account on hold, on suspension, and our crack team will investigate this guy further, and see how he was able to get into your account.
 '''Kacey:''' Well do you make it an easy password and login?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Kacey:''' Do you make it easy for someone to figure out? Some people say never make your passwords birthdates or the word “God” or something. Is it easy? Do you use the same password over and over?
 '''Chris:''' Actually no, my password is very complicated. Okay, well I'll tell it to you since it's already used up at this point. The last password I used was capital J, zero, four, lower case N, capital E, one, lower case D, E, four, capital R, zero-eight, lower case I, two, lower case O, N. [J04nE1de4R08i2on]
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, um. So that's just a random string of words, how do you remember that?
 '''Chris:''' Actually in this case, this was an author's name. I take his name and change some of his letters to numbers. You know, three can look like M, or N's, E or W.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, well. Maybe he's cracked that code. If you use that a lot he knows what it is. I hate leet speak, it's so stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Leet speak?
 '''Kacey:''' Leet speak, that's what it's called when you change letters into numbers like that.
 '''Chris:''' Leet speak? I've never heard of that before. I just thought it was a fun thing to do. I often like to spell words backwards, and say them backwards like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should look it up. But still, maybe he's just cracked your code. He's probably really good at what he does.
 '''Chris:''' Actually I talked- Actually while I was waiting for Kim, I picked up on him calling me twice tonight. I also talked to him the night before a little bit. He said that he supposedly tampered with my PS3. I mean other than- I mean, I'm not sure how he could do that.
 '''Kacey:''' He could! I mean, there's tons of ways for people to do stuff like that. You should probably listen to him. If he's done it before he's going to do it again.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' Especially with all the times you download stuff to your PSN, yeah he could probably do it.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm, well anyway I currently have my Playstation 3 turned off and unplugged so he cannot get to the new passwords and email addresses from my other accounts aside from the named one. Anyway, aside from that-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe he'll break it or something, but then this would all be over and then it wouldn't matter right?
 '''Chris:''' Maybe he'll break it?
 '''Kacey:''' Why not if he can mess with it further? Maybe you should just give up on it. Obviously this guy is going to be after you, is it really worth it?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Well I'm not going to give up on my PSN on that note you know, someone will help me-
 '''Kacey:''' It's just videogames.
 '''Chris:''' -my main account back. Yeah, but still so much I could be able to do only when I have access to my account. Like, you cannot be logged off your Playstation Network Account and copy your PS1 classic or PSP games to the PSP, or even the videos you download through the Playstation Network you have to be logged into the Playstation Network in order to copy the videos and those games to the-
 '''Kacey:''' But still, videogames. I mean, it's not going to be a huge loss.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm
 '''Kacey:''' If you make them so important, of course he's going to go for those. He's probably going after the most important thing in your life right now, which would be videogames.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, uh yeah, as if that's the most important thing in my life- I mean most important thing in my life right now is going out in real life and trying to find myself a woman to be sweetheart.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... That's not a goal that should be your priority. That's- especially if you hadn't spent most of your time playing videogames you might have been successful by now. But still, your priority should be getting a job and getting out of the house and I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well fortunately-
 '''Kacey:''' -Keeping your promises.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well fortunately I am on the verge of getting a job you know, I got my interview next Tuesday at Target.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, well good luck on that. But, I don't know, maybe you should just let it go.
 '''Chris:''' You're still talking about the videogames aren't you?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah especially if you have all this going for you now, you probably should just be like, make him think you don't care.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well I pretty much given him that impression at this point.
 '''Kacey:''' Plus it probably would make you a lot more appealing if you really want a girlfriend.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I should know, I'm a girl.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. But anyway, maybe he'll back off a little bit now on that note. Especially since-
 '''Kacey:''' Well he's not going to if you make it such a big deal, and you keep going after it. You're seriously just going to have to be like, “You know what? Fine, I don't need it anymore.” It's how those psychos think.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm…
 '''Kacey:''' He's going to know you want it back if you keep trying. You're going to have to trick him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I am tricking him right now, I mean a little bit. When he called-
 '''Kacey:''' No you're not you're worrying over it. You want to get it back. You're going to have to be serious and say, “I don't care anymore.”
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I did tell him that, yeah. I did tell him that.
 '''Kacey:''' Make a video of you throwing it away or something- giving it away. Just be like, “I don't need this anymore.” Obviously he's watching you and following you.
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' You've got to give him a direct message. You've got to outsmart him. You're smart, you can do it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah I mean, I don't want to have to give it away for real.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then he's just going to keep doing this, and you're basically asking him to do it. That's the point of the video though, to just be like, “I don't need this anymore.” Maybe he'll take it at face value. It's worth a shot.
 '''Chris:''' Alright well, I'll think about it. I will think about it.
 '''Kacey:''' You should do it. Because when you say, “I'll think about it,” It means you're not going to do it.
 '''Chris:''' No, when I say, “I'll think about it,” It means I'll think about it, and then I am likely to do it. I mean, I told you I thought about the exercise and sorry, it's just- I thought about calling the doctor and I called the-
 '''Kacey:''' Well you need to shake this guy, because obviously he's mentally imbalanced. I would do anything I can to get rid of him. Especially if he has anything to do with your PS3 being bugged or something. I'd be like, “Screw this, I don't need this anymore.” I mean he's probably already heard it by now.”
 '''Chris:''' He's probably already heard it?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, if he's done something to it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well anyway, he also told me something else, I should take it apart and remove the battery that's by the Blu-ray Drive, and then that will do something to the mod chip and then put the battery back it. It's not like I'm going to listen to him like that, I'd only do it if Sony suggested I do it. Or like, I need a professional like Kim's boyfriend Logan. She confirms to me that he knows pretty much about that so you know, I told her to ask him that for me about what will happen if I remove the battery from the Blu-Ray drive area there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well maybe you should do it. If he's really got something in your PS3 he's not just doing it for fun. You probably should listen to him. It couldn't hurt to just look.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I'm not sure, I mean- If I remove the battery it might wipe out my user list on my PS3.
 '''Kacey:''' No it won't it's just the battery! Batteries don't hold memory or information, what?
 '''Chris:''' It's like if you remove the battery from a clock radio, a digital clock radio okay? That's like an internal battery and then the power goes out-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not a computer, that's different. I can remove my hard drive from my computer and none of my stuff is going to be erased.
 '''Chris:''' Alright
 '''Kacey:''' It's made to hold that memory. It's not going to hurt it. It's not a clock radio, I think it's a little more advanced than that. I mean, I thought you were good at electronics.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am fairly good at electronics, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you should know something so basic.
 '''Chris:''' Well I just didn't know for sure about what he's saying here.
 '''Kacey:''' No it should be fine.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm
 '''Kacey:''' Haven't you replaced any hard drives before in anything?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I have-
 '''Kacey:''' Nothing gets erased.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, I have replaced the hard drive in my PS3 drive twice, from the original-
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you should be fine.
 '''Chris:''' Alright I'll do it, I'll take it apart and look for the battery, and remove it and then put it back in. I mean, after we finish up this conversation here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah. That's fine.
 '''Chris:''' Mm'kay
 '''Kacey:''' Alright I might be late tomorrow because I close, but I'll talk to you later.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well also I'll just let you know I called up the doctor's (?) office earlier today and I made an appointment to see him this morning at 10:45 or 10:30 I forget which one. Anyway talking about my chest- talking about my heart pains.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, heart pain?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, didn't you and Kim talk about this? She told you had talked about this.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah okay I remember.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna go see him about that this morning. Mm'kay. Alright I'll talk to you tomorrow, you take care okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well if you're having heart pains over this, that's a good reason to get rid of this shit. I'll just talk to you tomorrow, just feel better.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, you stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, bye
 '''Chris:''' bye-bye

[recording ends]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 17]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 19]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 17

2014-05-23T06:42:40Z

Export A:

[[Image:Miltank.gif|What Chris thinks Kacey would look like as a [[Pokemon]].|thumb]]
==Summary==
In this short call, [[Chris]] and [[Kacey]] talk about which [[Pokemon]] Kacey would be. She's offended because Chris called her a Miltank in conversations with Kim. Chris also talks about a [[troll]] trying to copyright [[Sonichu]] - apparently Chris sent a handwritten letter to the Library of Congress asking for an FBI investigation to find out who is the original creator of the electric abomination. After just 8 minutes, Chris leaves because of a headache and having to use the bathroom.

==Video==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 17
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|6wVU6NoDDv8}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 16]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 18]]
}} </Center>
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I could be a little better right now. You see...
 '''Chris:''' Aww, long day?
 '''Kacey:''' The- well... not only that, but I got an E-mail from [[Kim]], and... she told me that you guys were talking about [[Pokemon]], which is... cool and you know, we were girl-talking and all 'cause we've been playing together... uhm... but anyway...
 '''Chris:''' Uh... yeah... uh... yeah... I mea- I was a- I was on a... spur of the moment thing at the time and I thought about it further. I thought you'd be more as a Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A what?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' A Delibird?
 '''Chris:''' A Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... well, thing is... uhm... even before I get into that... why did you call me a Miltank?
 '''Chris:''' I thought Milt- I thought Miltanks were cute. I mean...
 '''Kacey:''' It's a- it's a- Chris, it's a COW! You called me a COW! Do you- do you not know how offensive that is to women?!
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... you might as well just call me fat or something.
 '''Chris:''' No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Besides, it- bes- its somebody just fooling around, you know... it-it was just loose talk, and I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, Chris... if somebody asked me what I would call somebody, I'd - if it's a girl - I'd make sure that I didn't include things that are like - ''cows''.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... yeah... OK. I'm sorry. Anyway, yeah, I- yeah, I apologize- I just sent an E-mail to Kim telling her...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but what... what if I called you, like, a [[Snorlax]] or something? I mean, how would you feel? I mean, couldn't you at least... a Skitty or something?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Skitty didn't come to mind. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh]
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... [short pause] anyway, yeah... Delibird.
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] OK... I... that's the one that gives out, like... presents... right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, you're always full... you're always full of [[DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|pleasant surprises]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...OK.
 '''Chris:''' And you are cute.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, at lea- at least it's a penguin. I do like penguins.
 '''Chris:''' OK. I never thought of- I never imagined Delibird being a penguin, but yeah, I see that now.
 '''Kacey:''' He- he is a penguin. The Pokedex says so.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I guess I didn't read that part.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmm.
 '''Chris:''' OK. Well, anyway... uh... yeah aside from that... hmm... I'm not sure I'm in the mood to talk now... I got a bit of a headache right now. And... uh... yeah, I was gonna go hit the restroom, but then- then you called me.
 '''Kacey:''' Well... are you gonna take, like, an aspirin or something?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm gonna take- I'm gonna take a... I'm gonna take a non-aspirin. We- i- it works a little better than regular aspirin, you know. My parents agree with that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, it's probably best for you to... like, you shouldn't always take aspirin.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So... what happened with you today?
 '''Chris:''' Ah... what happened with me today... uh... yeah, I don't know if Kim told you that I was E-mailed last night, but, you know, it was like this [[troll]]... uh... just claiming to have... already sent, like, sent in this claim for... register the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] of [[Sonichu]] under his name.. which s- which should not be doable anyway... uh... but anyway, eve- even copied and pasted details, like, if he was actually doing it from my [???] site.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... would you be able to prove against it? Because, if you don't have definite proof, and, I mean, just having some drawings isn't gonna do it, I mean, you'd be screwed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-I-I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you did finalize the copyright a long time ago. They're gonna wonder why you waited so long, and... I mean, you're just gonna be out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok, you see- Ok. One thing is... Yeah, I did- I did regist- I did put my claim for the copyright... apparently last sep- apparently last September. And I found- I found the case number for that... I still have the account on there... on the Library of Congress website. And, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, documents are easy to forge, I mean, the same effort you took drawing in the first place, they can use it to get the coypright. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway- uh... I think I told you before that, like, you know, I was under a misunderstanding about what I sent through the snail mail... so... that's why... and then, uh... I should've gotten... I should request those papers about that time... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' What about snail mail, you sent something? Or you received something?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... well look, I filled out the application online, and so- should send something via snail mail, but I was not made clear on what to send in via snail mail... and I shou- I should have requested those papers back then...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did you ever receive a certificate, or did you send it certified mail, I mean, stuff like that you have to send certified mail. If you didn't get a certificate back, then you're kinda out of luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, i didn't- I didn't get a certificate.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then... you can't prove it's yours.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes I can... yes I can but anyway- anyway... anyway...
 '''Kacey:''' Can't legally.
 '''Chris:''' EARLIER TODAY... earlier today... I... I wrote a handwritten letter... to the Library of Congress about like, you know... yeah... this guy should not have the rights... to have the copyright on... stop him and... I have proved that I am the original creator... I even found... hand-drawings from as early as [[2000]]-[[2001]]... I mean... I even encouraged them to do [[Jerkops|FBI]] investigations between him and me... I would even welcome them to come to my home address to investigate that. I think they would find more stuff here at my house than they would over there! And I... anyway... I sent those hand-drawings...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... that- that doesn't mean anything to them. I mean, you could be doing that to the actual copyright holder, I mean, they're not gonna waste money on an FBI investigation to do this, you know that, right? It's gonna come down to who has the better lawyer.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Anyway, plus- plus I'm also, uh...[???] with a copyright lawyer here in Charlottesville... uh... 'scuse me... and my father and I going down tomorrow for a consultation... talk about the situation.
 '''Kacey:''' Do you have the money to hire him?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] At this point it's just a consultation...
 '''Kacey:''' They can charge you for those. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' Uh- but- I checked with him and I ask- I asked him all and he said that the consultation is free.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, but... that's where they... get you hooked in, I mean... just watch out for that, because consultations, even free ones, can turn into... not-free ones.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. All right. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's just how the system works. Som- You know, people do it all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Ok. Mmm. Ok, well listen, listen I gotta go get my non-aspirin and use the bathroom, so... I'll talk to you tomorrow, OK?
 '''Kacey:''' OK.
 '''Chris:''' Aight, you take care. Get some rest yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' OK, all right. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
 [call ends]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found . Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 16]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 18]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 16

2014-05-23T06:39:39Z

Export A:

==Summary==
*[[Chris]] went to a potluck but didn't bring any food for anyone else.
*[[Kacey]] tells Chris off for eating the yolk of an egg. Chris lies and says that there was no yellow in the egg.
*Chris jogged for two minutes and got worn out.
*Chris claims that he has a 36 inch waist. Kacey says that he's lying.
*Chris's bust size is 43. "It fits like a glove!" "It feels so good!"
*Kacey says Chris should go to Victoria's Secret to get measured again. Chris says this is a good idea, and he will get measured for his bust, waist, and hips. Kacey almost starts giggling.
*They talk more about Chris sending all his receipts and [[PSN]] shit to Kacey.
*Chris says he's going to try to save 200 dollars over three months to go to Nekucon. He also says he's going to spend 60 dollars a month to go to a gym. Kacey says that Chris wouldn't actually use it.
*Chris thinks he can bench 50-100 pounds. He also thinks that leg muscles (quads) are called that because most animals have four legs.
*Chris asks Kacey if she's working on making a survey for her class. She pulls a "IAHM WORKIN ON IT!" and immediately switches the topic to Chris cleaning his [[room]].
*Chris says he's working on a drawing of him and Kacey having a foursome.
*Kacey said she saw a spoiler list for [[Sonichu]]'s last issue. Chris gets really confused and says it's not real. He then tells what REALLY happens later in Sonichu, talks about the cure for being [[gay]]. "Make a vaccine to make the world right and straight!" Stabs [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]] in the throat with his gay cure.
*Kacey says he needs to make comics faster, and to make drawing for her faster because he has nothing else to do. Chris bullshits around saying he'll work on it.
*Kacey disconnects and Chris is just saying "KACEY? KACEY? HELLO? HM. WHERE'D YOU GO? HELLO? I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW, BYE-BYE". We can hear Skype sounds in the background.

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 16
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|TRMgdRAmfTM}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 15]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 17]]
}} </Center>

'''Chris''': Hello? 
'''Kacey''': Hey Chris, it's Kacey! How are you? 
'''Chris''': Hi Kace. I'm good, how are you? 
'''Kacey''': I'm okay. Uh, how are you? Y- oh, I already asked that, never mind. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. [Laughs] Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': Um, so, how was your day? 
'''Chris''': Well it's- it was good, uh, it was good. I had a pleasant time- I had a pleasant time at church today uh, we had a little... picnic outside, there was a Potluck Picnic, so people brought food, uh, uh... someone brought some chicken so I had- so I had a wing of that, and uh, some- and uh, vegetables and broccoli, and carrots... uh, also I had some rice. 
'''Kacey''': Oh, that's cool. I don't like broccoli though. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': I think broccoli's kinda gross. Did you bring any food, since it seems that everyone brought something? 
'''Chris''': Uh, no I- no, I didn't even r-realize it so, no. [Pause] Oh well, never mind. Maybe next- maybe next time. Anyway uh, after that I went home. Uh... yeah, sorta- [unintelligible] I, uh, was just telling you and- and uh, I asked mom if I could go out with my- go out with her to my bar- to uh, Country Cookin', so we- so, yeah, went out with them, and uh, yeah. Uh, the plan is we usually uh, if we were still- or- what we used to do, we would order the uh, entree, and take the entree home and eat from the salad bar, 'cause the salad bar comes with the entree. Um, I ordered uh, a grilled chicken with a baked potato to bring home and, I just had uh, I just had a good healthy side with uh, romaine let- with romaine lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, cheese and eggs. 
'''Kacey''': Well, cheese really doesn't belong in a salad, you know that right? And uh, eggs, you really gotta watch out for those too, I mean did you eat the yellow part? 'Cause you shouldn't. 
'''Chris''': Uh... okay, uh- uh- no, no, they were all- they were whites. 
'''Kacey''': Hmm. Normally in salads they put both in there, but okay. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm- I'm- I'm- I made- I uh, made sure got whites, and all they had were whites in there, so yeah. [Pause] Hmm, anyway after we got home, I uh... I went out and I jogged for a couple of minutes, and then I, and- I jogged for two minutes and then, uh, got a little worn out after that, so I did- so I- walked to the- I walked... slow walked some of it and I- [unintelligible] power walked the rest of the way home. 
'''Kacey''': Uh, how long did you power walk for? Even though you really should be jogging, but still. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I would say I power walked... about two thirds of the trek. 
'''Kacey''': Well ho- well, how long is that? Like, in, hours? Like, a half hour? 
'''Chris''': Hmm... yeah, usually it takes me a whole- a whole hour to walk the almost two mile trek around the neighborhood. So I would say roughly about 40- I would say roughly about 40 minutes. 30 to 40 minutes. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] So you- so you walked for 40 minutes? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': Well, I mean, are you weighing yourself to make sure you're making any progress? Or, you know, checking inches? 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm checking inches. [Pause] And I'm definitely- 
'''Kacey''': Do you have your measurements then? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] I don't have them written down, but I know I'm lo- I know- I know that there- I have taken a measurements uh, the other day... um... shoot, what was it? I think it was like, uh... 4- I think was like, uh, 38, 40 waist. And then I measured myself today, uh... yeah well- lost about, uh, half an inch, so it's like 37.5 to 39.5, yeah- or wait no, yeah it was 37.5. 
'''Kacey''': Well, Chris, I've seen you before, you don't look like you have a 37 inch waist, uh, where did you... where- 
'''Chris''': Uh I-I, well... well, maybe not the- 
'''Kacey''': Where did you measure? 
'''Chris''': Um, uh, I measured my gut. 
'''Kacey''': You- well, you do know where to properly measure, right? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Yeah. Around. 
'''Kacey''': I- I- I know, but there is certain places you need to. Um, how 'bout your hip size? 
'''Chris''': Hmm, my hip size, we're talkin' 'bout my waist size, right? Or my pants- 
'''Kacey''': No, no, no, no, it- it- it's bust, waist, and hips. 
'''Chris''': Hm. Okay, I'm not really sure about my hips, um, I think my hips are like, uh- 
'''Kacey''': I thought you said you knew how to do this! 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Well I'm not sure what my hip size is, I mean I know my bust size is 43. [Pause] And I just told you that my- my c- my belly was like thirty- was like thirty-seven. Point five. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Well, maybe you should get properly measured. Um, 'cause you know, the Walmart lady could have done it wrong too, you know. They don't normally measure people. 
'''Chris''': Uh... but, yeah, well I mean I... just asked for my bust s- I just asked for my bust size. When I asked the Walmart lady. [Pause] Hm. Anyway, uh, okay well. But I think uh, you know the w- the lady accurately measured my bust 'cause you know uh, I'm wearing a 42- a size 42 sports bra and it fits me like a glove! And it fits good. 
'''Kacey''': You mean it fits well. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Fits well and good. Feels very comfortable. I guess that's what I mean when I say comfortable that it fits- I mean that's what I mean when I say it fits good that's... very comfortable and not too tight. [Pause] And plus the fabric, uh plus the uh, quality of the- and the plus the material it does feel good against my skin. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Okay well, as- as long as it's not too tight. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': But, you know, still. Umm, but yeah, you should get properly measured. I mean, 'cause- 
'''Chris''': Yeah, okay well- okay- 
'''Kacey''': -normally in a guy, their waist and their hip size is bigger than their bust size normally, you know. I don't know. It's- it- you know, normally the girls are the ones that have the hourglass figures. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. I have seen- I have seen that, yeah. 
'''Kacey''': You could- you could go to Victoria's Secret, they'll do it. [Pause] And they know how to properly do it, they're trained. 
'''Chris''': Alright, well, next time I go to the mall, I'm gonna head out to- I'm gonna head out tomorrow. I've got a scheduled meeting with Rocky tomorrow, so I'll wander over to Victoria's Secret and uh, ask them to possibly measure me for my, uhh bust, waist and hips. 
'''Kacey''': They would be happy to do that. 
'''Chris''': Oh, wait, I think I just remembered what my pants size is. It's size 36 or 37. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Well, do you get a- 
'''Chris''': My pants size- 
'''Kacey''': Do they- do they fit well? 
'''Chris''': Yeah, my pants fit well. [Pause] I mean- I mean I'm just saying that uh, you know- I remembered looking at the uh, tag before. And yeah, I believe it was a 36-37. I'd have to... either take these pants off or look- or uh, go look at another pair to tell you for sure. 
'''Kacey''': Uh, I don't know, that just- just seems off to me. 
'''Chris''': 36 or 37... pants size? I think that's hip size, right there, isn't it? 
'''Kacey''': Uh, no, no... uh, no. It's supposed to be waist size and then there's like inseam and stuff but I don't really wanna go into it. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay. 
'''Kacey''': I mean, they're not stretched or anything, is th- are they? 
'''Chris''': Uh, no they're not stretched. 
'''Kacey''': Hmm. [Pause] That just, you know. I don't know, it just doesn't seem right. Definitely, definitely, get um... get that measured. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, okay, I'll do that tomorrow. I will do that tomorrow. Mmm. Ye- oh, by the way, did you recei- did you uh, get the uh, receipt- the receipt .JPEGs I sent you? I put that up- 
'''Kacey''': Oh, yes, yes I did. Um- 
'''Chris''': It turns out- it turns out I forgot to attach in the first one. I checked it out and I- 
'''Kacey''': I saw. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, and I had saved the email. Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah. Well, I got them and, um, I'll definitely be... figuring some out but yeah, like I mean, I think you should try to not buy anything video game related for like a month. Especially from the PSN. 'Cause I mean, I know you- I mean, downloadable content is when they- where they get you the most. 
'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, okay. Alright, well anyway, aside from that, like you know, yeah I am definitely planning on taking advantage of that 60 days for 60 dollar plan that my doctor was able to inform me about. I plan on taking advantage of that next month. 
'''Kacey''': I mean, put- I think you should try to put everything into your savings. As much as you can. Try not to spend anything extra. Try to eat at home, you know, try to entertain yourself. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah. I understand. But... you know, I think I uh, clarified with you that I was gonna save 200 dollars between October and November for NekoCon. 
'''Kacey''': Well, you should be able to do 200 dollars a month! 
'''Chris''': Yeah- I mean no- I mean, yeah I would get 200 dollars a month, but I'm thinking of like, you know, allowing for like, you know, for a little something on the side for myself. You know. 
'''Kacey''': Like what? 
'''Chris''': Oh, like for example, like you know, I'm planning on spending 60 dollars next month, on my- on the, uh... on the gym- on the uh, gym plan. For the ACAC Fitness Center. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Yeah, but are you actually gonna use it? 
'''Chris''': Yes! I mean the plan is, like, yeah, it's like two half hour sessions a week, but then I can also use the facilities at any time outside of those two half hour sessions, as well. 
'''Kacey''': Hmm. [Pause] But still, y-you should save some money. Especially if it's really important. I mean, you could go out jogging on your own, and I mean, if you can't do five miles, you're not going to be able to do a gym yet. You're gonna have to work yourself up to it. 
'''Chris''': I c- I can- I can work a gym. I have worked a gym before. I think I've told you about me working at the YMCA? 
'''Kacey''': You probably didn't know what you were doing, though. 
'''Chris''': I'd- I had- I had a good understanding of what I was doing. I mean, I took physical education classes throughout... pretty much my whole s- my whole school life. 
'''Kacey''': They don't teach you anything. I- it's just PE. 
'''Chris''': I mean I learned- I mean I learned about weight lifting among other things and, uh- see, in my PE class they- 
'''Kacey''': Okay, how much can you bench? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] I cannot say for sure how much I- 
'''Kacey''': Well you should know this if you know about weight lifting, I mean that's pretty simple. 
'''Chris''': I can prob- I mean, uh... yeah, I can probably bench 50 to 100. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. Um, what pound weights do you use? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] What pound weight do I use? I think I use- 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, like when you do, like- no, like when you do just normal like, bicep curls, and you work your quads. Do you even know what quads are? 
'''Chris''': Oh yeah. Quads are, uh... muscles in the legs. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Yeah, anyway, uh- 
'''Kacey''': You know why they call them quads? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Hm. Probably named after the fact that most the uh, animals are four-legged. Uh, yeah they walk on four legs. Even though we- even though we humans walk on two. It's leg strength, so... yeah- 
'''Kacey''': No, actually it's because it's a series of four muscles. And it has, um, four different insertion points, but that was a good guess. 
'''Chris''': [Laughing] Yeah, okay! Yeah, okay, four different insertion points, okay. Uh, but anyway, uh, much I can do for like- when- it- and when it comes to dumbbells, and doing the uh, simpler exercises like uh, you just mentioned, I can do like 15 or 25 pound dumbbells. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. 
'''Chris''': Okay. 
'''Kacey''': But, still, like if you can't even... walk... or, I mean, you're just walking and power walking now. If you can't even jog or run, you might wanna hold off on the gym for a bit. 
'''Chris''': I ''can'' jog. I ''have'' jogged. 
'''Kacey''': Oh, that's right, for uh, 40 minutes. 
'''Chris''': [Sighs, pauses] Well a lack of- (?) 
'''Kacey''': Well I mean, doing it for 40 minutes is kind of impressive. 
'''Chris''': Alright. I mean, it's just like, you know, when it comes- when it comes to the neighborhood, it's like mostly up and- it's like mostly up and down inclines, and the uphills do- uh
'''Chris''': take a... quite a bit out of me, especially the steep one when going clockwise around that loop. Going counter-clockwise, it's not as steep. 
'''Kacey''': Hm. Yeah, inclines are always good. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, they do have- I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, you have not come by my house yet, so you wouldn't really know the slope of, uh... the layout of the uh, neighborhood. Um, that I would be talking about, all the inclines and whatnot. 
'''Kacey''': But I can- I still know what inclines are. I'm not stupid. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Yeah, I know you're not stupid, hehe... I mean, especially like, you know, if you are from my house (?), and then- and then you go clockwise, you don't know how steep the incline upward is. In fact, it is a pretty steep incline. 
'''Kacey''': Hm. 
'''Chris''': I mean, compared to the other up inclines. [Pause] It is a steep incline. [Pause] Hm. Anyway, um... let's see. Yes, so you had- so you had yourself a uh, good day today? 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, I mostly did review. I have some tests this week coming up, so you know, I wanna be prepared. 
'''Chris''': Okay, well that's good. Ye- oh, by the way, uh... how 'bout that survey I was gonna- I'm gonna do for ya? 
'''Kacey''': Um, I am still in the process of making it. It's actually really simple, but I'll have it out later this week. Um, I work, um, every day this week mostly, so, um I'll probably- I'm gon- I'm trying to shoot for uh, Tuesday, Thursday. Oh, umm... how's your room coming? 
'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, I'm taking some- I'm taking a few- I've taken uh, some of the posters down, I'm gonna- I'm gonna do more on it tonight and tomorrow. And I'll show you the- I'll- I'll send you the pictures tomorrow. 
'''Kacey''': Okay, yeah, 'cause remember, um, it has to be done by tomorrow. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. [Pause] That's- yeah, I get it, uh, y'know, deadline being like- yeah, let's put that at like midnight tomorrow. 
'''Kacey''': Okay. 
'''Chris''': 'Bout that? Alright. Yeah, I mean like you know, may as well be, you know, if it's gotta be done by Mon- by Monday, I mean it can't be done by Tuesday, so there you are. But yeah, I have been- 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, you might wanna start workin' on it tonight, huh? 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I mean, I have started work. I'm going to do some- and I'm going to do some more- I'm going to, uh... finish it and make it, uh... not so crowded on the walls. And the ceiling. 
'''Kacey''': Mm-hm. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. You'll see. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Well that's good, I look forward to it. 
'''Chris''': Okay. Yeah and also I can uh, clean up the room, it's uh, pretty much just as- asiding (?) me from uh... uh, from the inspiration to continue the uh, sex drawings but uh, yeah I st- I still have the uh, one test drawing of the uh, four- of the foursome between us done, between me and my girls done. 
'''Kacey''': Oh yeah, well, I- I- I definitely wanna see that but in speaking of drawings, um, I saw a spoiler list for Sonichu detailing the end of every character for Sonichu! Uh, some of them were extremely interesting, especially um, Kel marrying, uh, N- Naitsirhc? [Chris tries to interrupt, unintelligible] Ruh- er- n- no? 
'''Chris''': 'Kay, stop. Every charac- uh, at the end of every character? 
'''Kacey''': Detailing the end for every character, you know like, the end of their story like, who they get married to, what they're doing? Like, you know, Kel marries, uh, Reldnahc? Naitsirhc? 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Like... uh... 
'''Kacey''': Uh, Darkbind r- rescues, uh, Zelina? 
'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah. Well, I- I can tell you right now that those all- those- those spoilers are definitely not official. All the uh, details- 
'''Kacey''': But they sound like everything that you would like! I mean, you've even put stuff like this in the CWC- um, in the CWCipedia, and I mean like it even has you having a daughter named Crystal. It doesn't say who the sweetheart is, though. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, but I mean- 
'''Kacey''': But I mean, does this mean that Darkbind won't rescue Zelina? And Kel won't get married? And Wild won't save his father and you're not gonna have a s- sweetheart? Heh. 
'''Chris''': Oh, wait, wait. No- okay, well I'm not necessarily saying that all those spoilers are false, I'm not necessarily saying that. Uh, I mean, I cannot say that I have seen these- I have not seen these spoilers, so I would not know for sure. I mean, but still, I mean like, you know. For what they could be saying about Mary Lee Walsh and, uh, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc. And there's a difference between Reldnahc and Naitsirhc. I mean, original Naitsirhc, he's just Naitsirhc. But then after- but then after that incident back in book #5, he became Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, g- uh- he added two additional names. Otherwise, he's just Naitsirhc whatever Giovanni's last name is. 
'''Kacey''': Well, he turns good according to these spoilers. So does he turn good? 
'''Chris''': Uh, yeah. Alright, well here's a spoiler for you about Reldnahc. Yeah, b- [Audio cuts?] 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Uh-huh? 
'''Chris''': Sorry there. Okay, while I am in the different dimension I have actually uh, gone into the bits of the future, before I had to go back in a different dimension. In fact... one of my destinations were- one of my destinations was this laboratory. Where uh, the scientists have already separated and isolated the uh, gay gene. Sorta like a play (?) from that Family Guy episode a little bit but still, they isolated the gay gene and it's like, now they wanna isolate the straight gene, so they can uh, actually- so they can actually make the vaccine that can- that can make the whole- that can make the world wide, um, straight. So- so like, you know, yeah I'm- I get in there just as they were talking about that and it's like, "Sure, I'll volunteer, I'm straight. Take some of my blood." And then they- and then they consensually str- they, they s- suh- they successfully isolate the straight gene from my blood. I even take a- I even take a couple of vials of it with me... and- a couple of vials and needles, and uh- and- with me, and I- I store them away in my pockets. So if there- y'know, they're, y'know, wrapped in casing so, no, they're not gonna- so they wouldn't break or... or hit me or- or penetrate or anything. Well anyway, when I go back into the different dimension, the after- the after I do get back out of the different dimension, I'm rescued by uh, Wild and Magi-Chan Sonichu. Uh, so like teamwork there, coming in- coming into there. Um, anyway. Uh... in book #10, yeah I would be in- I would be approached by Reldnahc. And then, uh- and then we go into a little bit of a battle, then I'll have him in a neck hold, and I'll pull out one of my needles and my blood. And then with my straight gene isolated, in that- in my straight gene, I'll be like, "Hey Reldnahc! Suck my blood!" And then I puncture him with the uh, needle. And then the- and then all- everything oppos- and then everything about Reldnahc that is definitely the opposite of me including being homosexual just leaves. And it's like Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc is totally destroyed, and he goes back to just being Naitsirhc. 
'''Kacey''': Oh! Nice! When are you gonna finish this? I mean, I wanna get to this, so you gotta, uh, definitely speed up the comics. I mean, you know, this one's being really slow. 
'''Chris''': Ugh. Yeah. I ''know''. [Pause] I'm dr- and I'm work- and I'm working on, y- you know... trying to keep a- trying to make a schedule so that I can do that. But then the other things keep coming up, like I'm doing the audio books- um, the video books, and the sex drawings. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, but I mean it's like, y'know, most things have things that come out at least quarterly. Or, you know, things that come out every month, like little smaller episodes. Like I mean, you could ser- you can seriously crank these out a lot quicker. 
'''Chris''': Ugh. Yeah, but at least y'know, I am- at least I am putting them up on the uh, CWCipedia a few pages at a time as I go along. Even though I could not access the CWCipedia today, I'm sure it's just a server- server thing. I'll probably be able to access it tomorrow so I can update with the uh, videos I've got uploaded. At least I was able to get on there for one moment earlier this afternoon, and verify that like uh, yeah, uh, all the uh, quote-unquote merchandise is fake, do not buy it, there's no video game in process, and the Project Needlemouse is just a Sonic the Hedgehog game, nothing else. 
'''Kacey''': Hm. 
'''Chris''': [Pause] Yeah. 
'''Kacey''': [Pause] Yeah, well I- I still think you need to make the comics a lot faster. Like come on, you promised me those drawings like, couple days ago and I still haven't even seen them! 
'''Chris''': Hm. 
'''Kacey''': Like, you don't have anything else to do. 
'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, well, uh- hmm... okay, I tell you what, I'll, uh... get my- get the uh, three individual girl drawings and the one sex drawing I have uh, scanned in and I'll send them- and I'll send them to you later. But of course, you know I'm trusting them to you and that you promise not to share them with anybody yet. 
'''Kacey''': Yeah, I'm not gonna share them, I just wanna see them. 
'''Chris''': Okay. Alright well I'll send them out to you later. 
'''Kacey''': I mean, you just needed d- okay, yeah, 'cause you need to speed things up here. Quick like the bunny. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Heh, poof! [Chuckles] Okay. [Pause] Uh, I guess with that and nothing else on my mind right now, um, I'll get- I'll scan those in and send those to you right now so, I'll let you go and I'll talk to you tomorrow. [Kacey hangs up] Kacey? Kacey? Hello? [Pause] Kacey? Where'd you go? [Pause] Hm. Kacey? Okay, well, alright. Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow and I'll have those sent out to you tonight. Okay, talk to you later, bye-bye. 

 [Call ends]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found and video removed from YouTube. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 15]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 17]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 15

2014-05-23T06:35:13Z

Export A:

==Summary==
*[[Kacey]] starts the call by complaining about how stressful her [[job]] is. [[Chris]] compares this to how stressed he gets when looking at [[troll]] emails.
*Kacey starts screaming at Chris about how hard her life is. Chris doesn't care.
*Kacey: "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT STRESS IS!" Chris: "hm... yeah..."
*Kacey yells more about Chris not getting a job.
*Kacey: "WHAT STRESS DO YOU HAVE?" Chris: "I HAVE EMOTIONAL STRESS FROM TROLLS AND THEIR INPUT!"
*Kacey: "YOU GET FREE MONEY AND PAID TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND YOU STILL COMPLAIN!"
*Kacey is jealous that Chris gets government [[money]] for free.
*Kacey complains that she and Kim have to do all of Chris's research for his jobs and he won't do anything. Still bitching about how hard her life is.
*Chris: "I'm workin on it!"
*Kacey apologizes for yelling at Chris, but then says he can't even understand it. Chris gets defensive and says he has a hard life and talks about how he had to bring "REALLY HEAVY TRASH BAGS OUTSIDE" when he worked at [[Wendys]] like six years ago, and how this was the hardest day of his life. Kacey starts screaming again about how useless Chris is. Chris says he will prove her wrong because he's stronger now than six years ago.
*Kacey asks what his parents think about how lazy he is. He says that his [[mom]] is proud of him for going outside to walk now, and how he's looking for a job.
*Kacey starts screaming AGAIN about how she's the one that made him do all of that.
*Chris says he's being social now. Kacey asks how many friends he made. Chris is quiet for a long time and says that they just pass by, and that he makes acquaintances. Kacey asks just for a single name, and Chris says that he didn't catch their names. Kacey calls Chris "Lonely and Sad."
*Kacey asks Chris what he's doing to improve his life. Chris says going to the [[mall]], going to [[church]], finding social outings to go to. He is interrupted by his mom.
*We are barely able to hear Chris saying "Let me rub your feet for you" to his mom. He says he is talking to Kacey, and his mom asks him what he did that day. He says he put 5 dollars in the bank and ate a sandwich.
*Chris says he has 14 dollars in his bank. It is very hard to make out what they are saying. His mom is telling him that he needs to do more, he starts talking about how once he [[copyrights]] [[Sonichu]] people will make [[games]] for him and he'll get the money for it.
*[[Barb]] starts talking about how hard her life was, and how Chris needs to show more humility if he wants to make money.
*Barb says that the reason why the [[house]] is messy and she doesn't work is because "she's been sick for so long."
*"I almost killed myself at least twice." -Barb talking about going to the hospital ''because of things falling on her in their house.''
*Barb complaining about [[Bob]] and how all he does is make it look like he does all the work around the house. Complains about Bob not having [[sex]] with her. She tells Chris to clean the house and how he's been slacking off for too long. Chris starts yelling and whining about how he can't do anything because there is nothing to do. It makes no sense and Barb is getting angry. She complains that Chris doesn't clean and just tries to hide dirty stuff around the house. He says he has no where to put his "love doll" and that it gets too hot in his [[room]] and it will get damaged.
*Chris finally starts talking to Kacey again. Kacey says that Barb made some really good points. Kacey asks if he's going to help clean the house. Chris says yes, he wanted to clean for a long time, but he doesn't know where she wants things.
*Chris says that his mom only wants him to get rid of his and Bob's stuff, but she refuses to get rid of her own. Kacey says that Chris should get rid of some of his stuff and his mom might follow suit. Kacey says he should get rid of his [[toys]] because he's 27. Chris gets really upset at this idea of this. "Ahm gonna think about that..."
*Kacey says that he needs to make his room look like he's an adult, and for him to get rid of all his childish toys and posters.
*Kacey says that Chris needs to throw out 95% of his toys. Chris says that he will take that into great consideration. Kacey says he's bullshitting and bets he won't do it. Chris says he will take Kacey up on her offer and he'll do it by Tuesday.
*Chris almost calls Kacey his mom.
*Chris's family uses all plastic forks, spoons, and knives. The reason being is that his family can't find the actual silverware under all the dirty dishes.
*His house is filled with ants, flies, and wasps from not cleaning.
*Kacey asks how his house got that dirty. Chris says it just "kind of happened."
*THEY HAVE A FUCKING DISHWASHER AND THEY DON'T DO DISHES.
*Chris gets stressed and leaves.

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 15
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|jN7JiBX4mVU}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 14]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 16]]
}} </Center>

'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris it's Kacey!

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey. How are you?

'''Kacey:''' Ugh. I'm just really tired like I had a really stressful shift today. Like I had this one table that just was really nasty and had me running around and uh they didn't even- you know- it just so mentally stressful this job, and so surprising me still how just one table can exhaust me. I don't even want to do anything else I just want to go to sleep.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. That sounds like me after I check through my e-mails- similar stress. But I [unintelligible]

'''Kacey:''' What? What?! Wha- [Talking over Chris] But- but- it's- it's- that's not the same thing! What are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean I go through my e-mails and I see a shocking news- yeah. I pretty much-

'''Kacey:''' Wait that's SO different are you trying to tell me that's the same thing?!

'''Chris:''' Uhh, okay well I'm not saying it's the same thing but yeah, you know- it's like, you know. Yeah. You get all these bad input and- and uh- uh- then-

'''Kacey:''' [talking over Chris] It's JUST e mails what are you talking about?! I am going to a REAL job. I'm on my feet all night. I have to deal with people who treat me like SHIT and then you know the best part? They don't even have to tip me afterwards and so I don't even get money! What the hell are you talking about stressed?! You don't know what stress is and exhaustion!

'''Chris:''' [random murmur] Hm. Okay well-

'''Kacey:''' [shutting him up again] I mean I have a REAL job. You sit around and get free money because the government thinks you aren't capable of being a part of society.

'''Chris:''' Well at least I'm working on getting a job and uh- uh- I'm sure I'll begin to work soon enough. So yeah the thing is-

'''Kacey:''' [cutting him off] So yeah well how's that coming along?! I mean come on, Chris. I mean I'm really sorry but it's totally not the same thing. I mean, come on! I mean, okay what have you done recently?

'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] What have I done recently with uh, with a job and what not?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah! Have you put out more applications? Have you even called them? You said you would call them and I bet you you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I have called them.

'''Kacey:''' What did they say?

'''Chris:''' [long pause] And- well I have not called them recently so it's still like, you know-

'''Kacey:''' So you DIDN'T call them?

'''Chris:''' I did- I did- I- I- I called them when I- I called them a few- I called them- I called them yesterday, okay?

'''Kacey:''' What did they say?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I- like I told you they're uh- still reviewing uh- still reviewing applications and they will get back to me.

'''Kacey:''' Still I don't think you realize what stress and exhaustion is. Like not only am I physically running around but it's emotionally draining, like I have to act nice to these people. I have to laugh when they flirt with me all knowing that it maybe for nothing like, they may not even leave me anything. Like THAT is exhaustion. THAT is stress.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah, physical and emotional that is stress. Yeah that's not good-

'''Kacey:''' [talking over him] I mean that that's stress and exhaustion not because you- I'm getting really sick of this. Like you're always telling me I can't do the comics cause of stress. I can't do this because of stress. I can't do that because of stress. What stress do you really have? You sit around all day and you DRAW. You play video games.

'''Chris:''' I have emotional stress.

'''Kacey:''' OKAY. But what- okay, what emotional stress?

'''Chris:''' The fact that the trolls- that the trolls [unintelligible] from their input and also the fact that I-

'''Kacey:''' [talking over] STOP READING IT. STOP READING IT. Stop reading it. Delete it! You always tell them that you're just gonna delete stuff so just delete it. Don't even look at it. It's worthless, stupid shit. Just like I do just click it as spam, report it, TOS it, get rid of it. Because you know what I was letting them stress me and you know what, no. They're just- they're just stupid. I mean come on- that is- you do not know real stress. Just hearing stupid people on the internet is nothing. It is THE INTERNET.

'''Chris:''' [pause] Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' That's not stressful. That definitely shouldn't keep you from something as simple as drawing, or going out and doing something.

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah okay but-

'''Kacey:''' I mean you're not even hearing them! It's just visual. That's not a big deal. You can totally ignore that. I mean even if you do read them [Chris: yeah] it's just stupid people. Laugh at it. Be like oh look at what these people are doing. Mean e mails are not stress. They're just annoyances.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay.

'''Kacey:''' I mean you don't work forty hours a week. And go to school. You don't have to study, you don't have to write papers. Like, that is stress. That is exhausting stress. I mean come on [Chris tries to interrupt] what- what have you done like I do?[?] I mean like I said, I work long nights for these people who couldn't give a shit less. Now that is stress, having to be nice to somebody who couldn't give a shit less about you.

'''Chris:''' [pause] Hm. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm sorry I tried to- I'm sorry I- if it sounded like I was arguing I- I was trying- and I- I wasn't sure even what the point was what I was trying to say that I started uh ah-

'''Kacey:''' Well I mean let's just forget about it, that's the thing come on, this is not stressful, Chris. '''You sit around, on your ass, getting handed free money!''' That's not even remotely fair!

'''Chris:''' Hrm. Okay. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' You get paid to draw Sonichu and play video games. And then you know what? Then you- you even if you get a job you're still gonna be getting that, that's not even remotely- that's not even remotely cool! And I mean ugh! I'm gonna work way harder and that frustrates me. It frustrates me that I mean- why do you think you get this money for free? Do you know what that says about you?

'''Chris:''' [long pause] Hm. [another long pause] I guess um- um it doesn't say very much about me.

'''Kacey:''' No! It just says- it says the government thinks that you are too incompetent to be a functioning member of society. And you don't seem like you're doing enough to prove them wrong.

'''Chris:''' Well actually I- actually I am doing- I am- on the contrary I have been doing such and now I've actually been going out applying for jobs. And I'm- I'm working out.

'''Kacey:''' What have you done today? What have you done today?

'''Chris:''' Well I went out for another power walk. And also-

'''Kacey:''' No not that. I mean for your job. I don't care about the exercise thing. Power walks aren't gonna do you anything, obviously you're not listening to me on that. I told you you needed to get your heart rate up so you know what fine, that's great.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I- I want to get into jogging I just haven't gotten in- I just haven't got right into it yet- I jog- I did jog.

'''Kacey:''' [unintelligible talking over him] You just need to keep going. You need to just get into it or else you're never going to, it's just gonna be one excuse after another. But still, how long today did you go out looking for a job?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I went- I went- actually I did go online today and I filled out another application. I filled that one out for Sears. At least there's a cashier opening there.

'''Kacey:''' I mean if I never told you to get a job would you have even bothered? If I didn't do all the research for you would you have even bothered? [long pause] I'm guessing the answer's no from your silence. But anyway, I mean think about that even I had to do the research for you before you would even go for that and even- e-e-ugh! You can't talk about stress! I mean how stressful is THAT. That I have somebody whose a friend who I'm trying to help but he won't even help himself.

'''Chris:''' [pause] Hm. I am working on helping myself.

'''Kacey:''' By the way, also, well how are you going to help yourself before I go on? How are you helping yourself?

'''Chris:''' I'm uh- hah- I'm actually doing research of my own in addition to the research I get from between you and Kim.

'''Kacey:''' Like what?

'''Chris:''' You know I actually do go online- I actually am searching into places I am hoping to apply for like that- like I actually did go online I went onto Sears and I found an opening for a cashier so I applied for that.

'''Kacey:''' Okay that's a good start.

'''Chris:''' Oh and also I got- also I got my reply letter from the guverdate[?????] but that- I think I told you in that e mail I sent you earlier.

'''Kacey:''' A reply from who? [lol she didn't understand either] Oh, yeah, from your doctor?

'''Chris:''' Yeah from my doctor about the uh, about the-

'''Kacey:''' By the way and speaking of that e mail the attachment you tried to send me didn't come through so could you send those again like, tonight? I need them tonight. Cause I want to know that you're on the ball cause I'm tired of this. ['''Chris:''' okay] I want to help you and I'm stressed and you're not helping me help you, then that's just you know, something I don't need to worry about.

'''Chris:''' Uh-um-okay I will resend- I will resend the uh- I will resend the pictures.

'''Kacey:''' Thank you.

'''Chris:''' Okay [Kacey sighs]

'''Kacey:''' But anyway, yeah I you know, tonight was just really stressful and exhausting and I- I just- I'm sorry y-you- I don't think you can even understand a quarter of it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I can understand yeah you- yeah you had a really hard day. You're physically and emotionally tired.

'''Kacey:''' But I mean it's like you don't even go through that. So it's-it's-you know-

'''Chris:''' Weh-weh-well I- actually I have been through it. Y'know I worked at Wendy's for-

'''Kacey:''' Okay what's- what's- what's the hardest day you've ever gone through?

'''Chris:''' The hardest thing I've ever gone through?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, the hardest thing you've ever gone through.

'''Chris:''' Okay work-related the hardest- one of the hardest thing I've ever gone through was like- you know I was working over at Wendy's and I had to take these like really heavy bags of garbage down– uh- up to the dumpster and it was like- yeah they were really heavy like, you know I mean- granted I had to take the cans out to the dumpster but I had to take the bags out again and then there was- and then- and uh- [high-pitched] it was just really heavy and that there was no side door to the dumpster so I had to like chuck- I had to like chuck it over and it hit the back of my head. The bag of garbage hit the back of my head!

'''Kacey:''' [incredulous] It's GARBAGE! I have to do that and MORE! You wouldn't survive at my job. We have serve-work to do. I have to make sure dishes are cleaned, I have to roll silverware. I have to make tea. I have to do the salads I mean, AND I have to do the garbage and it's not that hard to throw it over. I can do that and I am smaller than you and I'm a girl. That's it?! THAT is it?!

'''Chris:''' [pause] Hm.

'''Kacey:''' Just a couple of garbage bags? Oh my god you would die serving! You would just homygosh!

'''Chris:''' Well I'm going to prove you- I'm going to prove you wrong because that was- that was so many years ago and- uhm- and I've emotionally got- I've also emotionally grown bedder ad dad[was almost unintelligible]- I'm much- I'm much tougher now.

'''Kacey:''' Well you better be cause I mean if that's like, really your worst day do you think it's any wonder you got fired? I mean maybe you just didn't apply yourself enough. [Chris sighs] I mean emotion doesn't have anything to do with it, you've got to push yourself, you've got to have willpower. You don't have willpower right now.

'''Chris:''' I do have willpower. I- I- I'll admit I'm starting to feel a little down right now because you know I was bombarded earlier and na- now I feel- I feel a little bombarded now but y'know like-

'''Kacey:''' Yeah but I mean how long have you been getting money from the government? Since you were like eighteen right? I mean come on you-you need way more willpower for that. I mean- I mean think about things right now to- you want- you want to have a family but if the government thinks that you can't even be a functioning member of society what do you think girls are gonna think?

'''Chris:''' [pause] Hm. [pause] Yeah. That's somethin' very much for me there.

'''Kacey:''' I mean what do you think other people will think? I mean what about your parents?

'''Chris:''' [pause, sigh] Uhm I don't think I understood that ques- I don't think I understood that question about my parents.

'''Kacey:''' Well what do you think they think? I mean do you think that they're-er-uh- that they're happy that you're just sitting around doing nothing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah well I- yeah well yeah- they're not happy just sitting around doing nothing but y'know they do actually get out and uh work in the yard as a matter of fact-

'''Kacey:''' NO! Not them what do they think about YOU?

'''Chris:''' Yeah well they didn't- they wouldn't be- they wouldn't be too happy if I was just sitting around but they're-the-my mum's been really proud of me like you know, getting out and doing my- doing my walking- power walking- a job- getting a job.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, stuff that you wouldn't even have done if I didn't push you to it. I mean I'm glad you're finally doing it buut-

'''Chris:''' She's proud of me that I'm- I'm throwing myself out to uh- get a job at natiograafteravenso[lolwut] so- as far as to go even find out about uh- how much I could make- how much I could make before I lose my social security and-

'''Kacey:''' ['''Chris:''' didthatallbymuhself] Yeah and I'm the one who gave you all that information! It was me! I'm the one who did ALL that shit you wouldn't have even done it if it weren't for me! Do NOT say- do NOT take credit for that! I'm the one who suggested it. I'm the one who pushed it. I had to get on you for a week before you did anything. If I'd heard that I would have done it right away.

'''Chris:''' Yeah okay- yeah- I do not take claim for it. I know that you and Kim have been pushing me. Mostly you. Y'all-Y'all been pushing me-

'''Kacey:''' I mean have you done anything on your own? I mean especially something that will make your parents proud?

'''Chris:''' [long pause] Well at least I well- you know you- uh- yeah y'all just didn't have to force me to but at least I had- at least I was able to get out start socializing a little more. Like going out- like I went out to the mall now and then, and uh [unintelligible] library. I did not even have to be pushed to do that.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, how many friends have you made? [pause] That's social. That's a lot more social than going out- just going out to the mall by yourself that's not social. Making friends is social.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but I mean yeah I meet people.

'''Kacey:''' Okay like who?

'''Chris:''' [long pause] Y'know unfortunately most of them just pass by. Okay yeah so I haven't made new- made too many furnd-friends. But at least I made acquaintances.

'''Kacey:''' Like who?

'''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah. I did not catch their names.

'''Kacey:''' Okay then they're not friends, they're not acquaintances. You need to at least know them.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean that's just kind of lonely and sad.

'''Chris:''' [long pause] Yeah. For a long time I have considered myself lonely and sad. [long pause, sigh]

'''Kacey:''' Why haven't you done anything to change it if it's so lonely and sad? I mean come on. What HAVE you done to change it?

'''Chris:''' [pause] Like I'm actually- like I'm you know, fe- I got started like a year or two ago you know, talking to people, getting to know people, going to church, finding social outings to go to- oh, 'scuse me, my mom.

'''Barbara:''' Yeah. [unclear]

'''Chris:''' Sure mom. [unclear] looking for you. [movement, sigh] Yeah I'm okay. Just talking to Kacey, what's up? [Barbara says shit transcriber can't understand] Uhh think I put the rest that I had in my wallet in the bank but I'll see. Have enough to buy a sandwich. Oh uh I ah- I put five dollars in the bank. [throaty babble from Barbara] Okay. [more hick-accented talk about money from Barbara] How much money you getting tonight? Yeah I currently have like fourteen or something in the bank so. Yeah I'll check. Yeah.

'''Barbara:''' I'm not trying to be hard on you. [muffle] You read this [muffle] See what you think. I'm not trying to be harsh on you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah it's not just the pain in my knee[?] I want to get my Sonichu copyright registered.

'''Barbara:''' I know.

'''Chris:''' Cause I can't currently enforce it to negotiate the current situation. [?]

'''Barbara:''' I don't think [muffle] People out to copying you. [?]

'''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean what if uh- this video game [unintelligible] uses Sonichu. [muffle] It's a Sonichu game but I'm not getting the credit for it.

'''Barbara:''' [long pause] Sometimes you just like have to [muffle] let me tell you what. [muffle] I have worked for a lot in my life. Y'know a LOT, okay? And my role was [muffle] secretaries, administration [muffle] I've worked for cops, companies, publishers, um, I've [muffle] All kinds of departments and management, etc. And I've worked in different types of business. [muffle] The way they operate [muffle] and sell [muffle] an animate object or inanimate object. So I've had quite a lot of experience with serving, okay. For the total benefit of the company, in all kinds of situations. So even when you want something it gives you a sense of humility if you put yourself in a [something] role of serving. You're serving [something] issue. But it shows humility and caring that, y'know, this will help. [muffle] But there's a lot and you know what, you don't know all the stuff they do. I tell you a lot of [muffle] And each section of your life that you go through is different. Say every seven years your perspective has changed. [muffle] And you learn all you can, talk to all the people you can, uhhh. Y'know you, you learn to uh, do small work at home, um medium, house-work, outside work. It's just for your creative mind. And it makes things [muffle] Okay, and that helps you live the way you live. Like [unclear] the kitchen for instance. I'm sorry that I got sick and I've been sick for so long. Because I enjoy all the hard work you and I did bringing stuff in here. Especially the part in which [something] and then putting it back together. And who did we think about first? You and your father. First we moved your stuff and then we moved your dad's stuff. What you all use, you got that? And we all [muffle] did everything to keep what you thought you weren't gonna need any more but you left in the end of the day, until the last trip. And I'm here to tell you that I almost killed myself at least twice accidentally. I mean it was just a hairline thing that kept me from killing myself after that. One was that big chair of dad's out there [drunken slur talk] and I fell with it, going down the back steps over there. And then picking it up on the hill in the wagon, aaand it- it fell off- it fell off the wagon twice. I fell down the steps with one part of it. And it was like four or five steps. That was the worst time. Scared me, [something] me...But we allowed you to go to your gay-game. [muffle] Your father took me to that last park bench and I was there by myself, and I had all the stuff, of your father's and yours. And then mine came last. And that was one [muffle], day and night. And I was so fatigued and then I had to drive and drive and drive, to find gas 2 o'clock or 3 o'clock in the morning. Your father [muffle] out in the truck.

'''Chris:''' [interrupts] Wait, wasn't I with you on that gas trip?

'''Barbara:''' Yeah, you were.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I remember that.

'''Barbara:''' Yeah. And then we [muffle]. Yeah we drive the [muffle] We had a hard time finding gas/dad. [muffle] He went back to get...Although we went to get the truck initially. Or when you went back to get the thing that you [muffle]. Um, he should have remembered gas but [muffle] the truck.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Barbara:''' Then I had to drive all the way home. And I was so tired [the transcriber is fucking tired.] I'm surprised that I made it. That you made it [or “then he made it”] and the next day I was trying to get some rest and your father yelled at me to get out of bed and unload that truck! Cause we had to take the truck back. [muffled, slurred] He should have told me the day before that we would have to take the truck back. [22 seconds of incomprehensible white-trash gibberish. Swear Chris said some shit about red elbows or what?] I haven't had an opportunity [gibberish] aaand I've never had an opportunity to really do the things I wanted to do, okay. We've been back nine years, I still haven't done the things I wanted to do.[Chris tries to talk] Now wait a minute, I've tried to do what I can do for most I have [skip] every day. Because of my health and because of another thing [?] I only have three hours of energy at the most. [Chris says something] Now today I did one thing that totally put me down [?] That was I brought the new wagon [?] So we can hang up in this out here and [unclear] wagon in the trash cans and and take it up to be [?]. And on top of that, another thing that upsets me is [unclear] banging away with your father yelling at me, and I was asleep. Instead of coming in and being nice and being like [unclear] It's abusive. The way he screams at me. So I won't help ya [unclear] When I tried to recharge that battery the last time I spent a long time out there.

'''Chris:''' Oh by the way uh-

'''Barbara:''' And!-and he was determined- he didn't want to help me. Okay? He wasn't interested.He is only interested in making things look like he did it [sounded like sheep diddle] it was his idea and I really didn't have anything to do with it. Even when I help him. I get no credit for anything. He never gives me credit to my face. Or if[?] he's talking to anybody else. Just like he tells you sometimes “well I don't get no help from your moma huuur.” No it's his own[?] attitude to- which is wrong, which is absolutely wrong.

'''Chris:''' I give you credit.

'''Barbara:''' I need you to start looking around and doing what you can do because there's a lot you could do. You are healthy and young. And you get so involved with these other things that you've been involved in- ['''Chris:''' Yeah but-] I've let you ride. I've let you ride. And now it's time that I'm going to crack down on you, and I'm going to demand that you help me everyday whether I ask you to, or not. I'm expecting you to help improve the indoors of the house and the at-

'''Chris:''' I don't know what er whya-why d-you want me to do!

'''Barbara:''' ANYTHING.

'''Chris:''' I don't even- I can't even ah-

'''Barbara:''' Come here and look. What is it that you can clean up, straighten up, in-in your room? There's a lot you could do.

'''Chris:''' Okay well, when can we concentrate outside my room? Like uhyah, I know we can do the kitchen and the uh, the living room. But you know that's gonna be [unintelligible] that would require your direction on that, [unintelligible] thing.

'''Barbara:''' Downstairs right now there's vacuuming that needs to be done, there's carpet that needs to be cleaned and there are things to be...[Chris sighs] And there are looooot of things that gotta go upstairs, or go to Good Will. [Chris sighs again]

'''Chris:''' Yeah most of 'em-yeah um yeah an- most of 'em of-all mine [?] do have to go upstairs.

'''Barbara:''' And I bought two chests there's one in the kitchen, there's one in the closet. [?]

'''Chris:''' Yeah but-

'''Barbara:''' And those have tools

'''Chris:''' Yeah but I mean where do you expect me to put- where do you expect me to put them in here, in my room?

'''Barbara:''' I didn't say put them in your room. There's a chest in that closet, there's a chest at the end of the kitchen. What- all you do is stack up stuff in the kitchen like you do in here and...We gotta, yeah neatly put things in the kitchen. But it takes two. And I have to feel like doing it. And I- I don't feel like-

'''Chris:''' B-b-buh-yut mum it's just a closet, I mean you put in the-er-whu- I already had a bunch of my stuff in there. I mean where am I gonna put that stuff downstairs? I don't know where else to put it. Especially that love doll.

'''Barbara:''' [unintelligible]

'''Chris:''' [sigh] Then it would- it- it gets hot- it gets hot in there and then it'll just [sound of Chris hitting Julay]

'''Barbara:''' Right, we need...we need to clean the tiles of the shower.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Barbara:''' In the bathroom.

'''Chris:''' Yeah we've got a lot to do, I know but-

'''Barbara:''' And re-grouting putting-the uh- removing the grout between the uh, tiles then re-grouting.

[unintelligible. Silence as Chris and Barb leave the room. Some mumbling. The conversation with Kacey resumes at 2:54]

'''Chris:''' Er sorry about that. Kacey, you still there?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm here.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean I just had to go to my mum's [unintelligible] herself, you know?

'''Kacey:''' Your mum made a lot of good points though.

'''Chris:''' Yeah,

'''Kacey:''' Like she'snothing- like, uh, you tell me. I mean like uh, I didn't hear a lot though like, what was she talking about?

'''Chris:''' Uh, it's like you know yeah, she definitely-she's like- she had a burst of energy right now and- she would- and then it's like- telling me about how we could further er, her ideas of what we could do to work on the hou- work on the inside and outside of the house. Move things around and clean things up.

'''Kacey:''' Well, um, are you gonna help her then?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I've been wanting to help her for a long time but I just didn't have- I didn't ah shu- I just didn't know where to put the things.

'''Kacey:''' Uh-it-you- if you don't need it, you throw it out. Quite simple.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I tell her that too but she doesn't want to throw any of her stuff out but- plus did you get it from the beginning it was like, you know, mostly dealt with me and my father's stuff. It never ever started on her stuff it was like, whatever you know, it's like at that point it's psychologically linked. Like you know, whatever's hers is like, you know she feels like she has to hold onto herself.

'''Kacey:''' Maybe this is her way of saying that she's ready to not do that. I mean ['''Chris:''' uhh] maybe you should start getting rid of your stuff in your room as an example to her. You know she sees you doing it and getting rid of a lot of stuff in your room, I'm pretty sure it'll help ease her into it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah all right, yeah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean I bet there's tons of stuff you can get rid of in your room. I mean you don't really need all those toys do you? [long pause] I mean you're twenty seven. [pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I'm s-I'm still going over the toys thing but I can yeah, more importantly yeah I do have like, paper stuff I can sort out and- and- somewhere else or get rid of.

'''Kacey:''' Well paper isn't much, it doesn't take up a lot of room. I mean like your room is filled with toys, like maybe you can at least get all the stuff off the walls and ceilings. I mean you know like, have an adult bedroom.

'''Chris:''' Mm.

'''Kacey:''' Like your room looks like a twelve year old lives there.

'''Chris:''' [pause] Er, I'll think about that.

'''Kacey:''' You don't need to think about it, your mum is seriously- she came to you and reached out to you and you need to reach back out to her. Come on, this is exactly what I'm talking about, have some willpower. Is it really gonna hurt you to get rid of all that stuff? Are you gonna suffer because of it?

'''Chris:''' Hrm. Uhh I mean I guess, not everything I give-uhs-I can get rid of- I can get rid of uh a lot of it, yah.

'''Kacey:''' I think you should take everything down from your walls. [pause] You know, make your room a lot more adult cause I mean, I think- I think maybe what's keeping you from uh, a correct frame of mind is that you're just holding on to too many things.

'''Chris:''' Hrm.

'''Kacey:''' You ever think about that? I mean how are you supposed to be an adult when-when you're sitting in your room all you can see is childish things? I'm not saying that it's not okay to have some of them but I mean, all over your walls and your ceiling? Come on! Besides if all of it's collector stuff you can sell it. If not donate it! Think about how happy you'll make somebody that, you know sharing your stuff like that. I mean you should probably keep maybe five percent of the stuff in your room.

'''Chris:''' Now that's too little.

'''Kacey:''' No it's not! I mean a lot of people don't have that much stuff, I mean it's just toys. I mean ['''Chris:''' well uh-] it's not like I'm asking you to get rid of your video games.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. Yeah. Okay well that's [?] for me to do. I will take that to great- I will take that into great consideration and action.

'''Kacey:''' Okay whenever you say that you're not gonna do it. I bet you you can't do it. I bet you- I bet you that by Monday or Tuesday you can't have all that stuff off your walls.

'''Chris:''' By Monday or Tuesday?

'''Kacey:''' I bet you you can't. I bet you wouldn't do that even for me.

'''Chris:''' Hm. You know what I-

'''Kacey:''' I mean it would take you a couple hours and I bet you couldn't do it. You could do it tonight but I bet you you won't. And I want you to actually you know, sort through it and either give away some things or I mean you just can't stack it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, all right well I'll tell you what- I'll-I'll tell you what- how about this, umm.

'''Kacey:''' Two hours, it'll take you two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean uh- I mean I'm going to take you up on your thing, you know. You say I can't do it- but- can't have uh clear stuff off my walls and uh, make it look a bit neater by Tuesday. I'll take you up on that uh I'll-I'll-I'll figure out where to put stuff- I'll- I will figure out-

'''Kacey:''' And donate it! Don't forget to donate. 'Cause you gotta get rid of stuff, your mum wants you to get rid of stuff, I want you to make an example to your mum and your mum's gonna be so proud. You just can't put it somewhere in the house though 'cause that's just gonna mess things up even more.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Yep.

'''Kacey:''' Don't- only do this- do this for your mom because she is very wise and she said a lot of things that- that are good.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Kacey:''' You can tell her I agree with her.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Yah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean why don't you ever listen to your parents? Your mom sounds like she really cares.

'''Chris:''' I do listen to my parents. They don't talk to me much. Uh-du-now-a-days.

'''Kacey:''' Okay well they seem to be talking to you now so you should start doing things like they said. They are your parents, remember Chris, obey thy mother and father.

'''Chris:''' Yes m- yes. I almost said yes mother! [creepy laugh]

'''Kacey:''' [forced laughter]

'''Chris:''' I almost said yes mother, can you believe that? [awkward laugh]

'''Kacey:''' [fake laugh] Freudian slip.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' But anyway I think you sho- I think you should do it by Monday. I mean come on, you can do it tomorrow. I bet you could do it tonight and tomorrow. You think you could do that?

'''Chris:''' All right I'll take you up on it, and I will.

'''Kacey:''' Okay ['''Chris:''' all right] then I will expect some awesome progress. I mean maybe you could uh, put up a video for me. You know to show us your progress.

'''Chris:''' I'll-I'll take some- I'll take some pictures and then e mail them to you.

'''Kacey:''' That would be awesome!

'''Chris:''' Yeah okay. Uhh but yeah my mom asked me to uh, sort out some- sort out the uh plastic utensils in the kitchen sink put 'em in a plastic bag so that she can go uh- so she can wash dishes and they're- and they're-

'''Kacey:''' Why is there plastic in the sink?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I said plastic utensils.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah why are they in the sink though? You throw those away. That's the whole point of them.

'''Chris:''' Err, it's like you know a lot of times it's like, you know plastic utensils you can reuse- you can wash them and reuse them.

'''Kacey:''' No, you can't sterilize those! Ew! No, no. They're plastic for a reason.

'''Chris:''' All right. Well anyway my mom wants to put them in a bag so she can get them off- get them off the uh- so she can uh-

'''Kacey:''' I mean don't you have like, real silverware?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, we have real silverware.

'''Kacey:''' Why don't you use it?

'''Chris:''' Well, from my point of view I don't know where they are.

'''Kacey:''' You don't know where they are?

'''Chris:''' [unintelligible stuttering] I mean we used to have them all in a drawer but now it's like they're scattered, they're mostly in the sink. Underneath all the dishes and the plastic utensils.

'''Kacey:''' How much is in your sink? I mean how long has it been since you've used them?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's been along for/four months.

'''Kacey:''' ...Chris!

'''Chris:''' [annoyed] I know. I know. [pause] But tell you uh-it's like-

'''Kacey:''' I mean how-how's it motivating you to do something when you can't even use your own silverware? I mean like th-there's not bugs, are there?

'''Chris:''' Frogs.

'''Kacey:''' Frogs? There's frogs in your house?

'''Chris:''' No. There no frogs in our house.

'''Kacey:''' Whatever you're talking about the-[laughs] I meant are there bugs, 'cause of the mess.

'''Chris:''' Oh. You said bugs.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, not frogs. Bugs.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah we- we do sometimes get bugs in the- inside the house. We get ants. Sometimes.

'''Kacey:''' That's it? I mean-

'''Chris:''' We also get like flies- even a couple of wasps.

'''Kacey:''' Wasps? I mean like, are there- but there aren't any like mice or roaches or anything, are there?

'''Chris:''' Uuh I have not seen any mice or roaches. Oh yeah we did have moths in the house as well.

'''Kacey:''' Maybe, um, there's like some cracks that they're getting in I mean, you should probably really really clean that house.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' I mean I don't know how bad it is 'cause I haven't been there but if you can't even get to your own silverware that sounds pretty bad. I could never even get to halfway there.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I- I feel for you there.

'''Kacey:''' I mean how could you let that happen? How could you let it get that bad?

'''Chris:''' [long pause] Ughh.

'''Kacey:''' I don't understand.

'''Chris:''' I don't understand either. It just kinda happened.

'''Kacey:''' It-it-okay that's a lot of it just happens. You'd have to just not care for years. [Chris tries to interrupt] I mean it's your fucking house, don't you wanna live in it? I mean that's- that's kind of lazy and gross.

'''Chris:''' Well- uh- well also like, you know. [pause] Mainly it was like my mom that was supposed to do the dishes upstairs and like-

'''Kacey:''' Why wouldn't you take initiative though? Your mom wants you to help out, like she says, you're young and healthy. You know she's really tired, right? So I mean, you should be doing those things.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well s-still you know...Yeah we have a two- we have a two-two rack dishwasher with a silverware sectio- silverware section on the front and I'm- I'm still confused on whatcan go- I mean asides from big plates and small cups I'm ah- I get confused about some things which can go on the top rack and which go on the bottom right like uh- I don't know I get-

'''Kacey:''' Just put the dishes in it, put soap in it, you're done. It's a dishwasher. But you can also wash dishes by hand.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' Just make sure you don't pile the dishes on top of them and you have to scrape them first, you know, make sure there's no debris. Just throw them in the dishwasher, put some soap in there, you're done and you can hand-wash stuff.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah. I-well-uh I should go- I should go sort out the uh plasticware and uh yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

'''Kacey:''' Okay. You better get to cleaning, don't forget your room.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Yes, Kacey. I will not forget.

'''Kacey:''' And make your mom proud! She deserves it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I will.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, all right, bye.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 14]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 16]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 14

2014-05-23T06:29:27Z

Export A:

A brief overview of the call:

*[[Chris]] instantly starts rambling about stress and phone calls and doctors. Hard to make out anything he's saying.
*[[Kim]] had to explain what a metabolism was to Chris. [[Kacey]] is snarky about Chris not knowing what it meant, and said that he's not ready for the information because it's too high level for him.
*Kacey is explaining what different words mean, like sodium and calcium. Chris seems generally interested in learning more about this.
*Chris claims that because he is on cholesterol medication, that means that he has good cholesterol.
*Kacey says that she needs to start a diet, so Chris does too.
*Chris drove around his neighborhood to see how big it was, due to this he claims that he walked almost two miles. Chris doesn't know what jogging is.
*Kacey talks to Chris for a long time about oatmeal and how it's not healthy due to sugar.
*Chris: "We only have a total of four cars."
*Chris's [[mom]] refuses to sell her car, despite the fact that she doesn't even drive it anymore, and they only use Chris's [[car]] or his [[dad]]'s car. He adds that she's been hoarding since she quit her job.
*Kacey asks Chris if he's ever thought about giving up soda. "I can't go cold turkey on it" -Chris
*Chris is talking about Red Skelton.
*Chris was looking to buy some work out DVDs or a treadmill so he too can join the thousands of rednecks who don't use the treadmill in their house.
*Chris is thinking about buying Carmen Electra's workout striptease DVD.
*Chris is thinking about buying a guitar but he said he'd have to save money for it. Kim suggested it.
*Chris mentioned that he's working on his own [[audiobooks]].
*Kacey nags Chris to scan in his recent [[video game]] receipts and pictures of his [[PSN]] account to prove he's not buying any more [[games]].

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 14
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|fXD3MjaXoLQ}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 13]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 15]]
}} </Center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, it's Kacey, what's up?
 '''Chris:''' [''voice instantly becomes much higher pitched''] Hi, Kace! You got out- You got out- You got home early?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I did. Actually I did we were really slow, so I got to get out early.
 '''Chris:''' Well that's good. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, just a little tired I kinda rushed through my ending (?) work.
 '''Chris:''' Aw. Okay. Well I'm okay, I had- I had a better days, you know. Little bit- little bit more peaceful, uh, I uh, skimmed through my email, but it's not like I really checked my email, um…
 '''Kacey:''' Mmhm?
 '''Chris:''' [''talking really quickly and stuttering''] I mean- I mean, you know I kinda asked you and Kim- if you know- concerned about like, you know- concerned about- concerned about, you know… Uh, like you know I blanked out and was really distant, you know- like you know- It was- It was just normal stress. But, you know I- I replied and uh, told her to know that my appreciation for her concern but it, you know, was just normal stress and it stress just me to blank out and all that. Yeah, I'm going to talk my doc- I'm going to talk to my doctor about uh… You know my stress and uh, all that you know, all that she between you, me, she, we three talked about it.
 '''Kacey:''' [''probably understood very little''] Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, actually I also uh just remember uh… Kim told me a little bit about- th- about the metabolism and uh, what that was. And, uh, you know, she just I talked you know maybe you could inform me more about it?
 '''Kacey:''' You- You didn't know what a metabolism was?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, not really until I said but then she described it in a nutshell as like uh, the uh, speed o- the speed of digestion.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, yeah, I mean I guess that's good for layman's tremens, yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Mmkay. What else do you know about it?
 '''Kacey:''' [''slightly over Chris's question''] It's an extremely complicated process that goes down to the cellular level and I'm not sure you're ready for that.
 '''Chris:''' It's okay. So… Tell me more about it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, okay, just what you need to know is metabolism is basically just what she told you. It's how fast your body takes in things, like glucose and fats and all sorts of chemicals and uses them up or stores them. If you have a fast metabolism you're going to use it al- a lot closer- or a lot sooner, sorry.
 '''Chris:''' [''weakly''] Mmkay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean I bet you don't even know what glucose is.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, glucose is a type of fat.
 '''Kacey:''' No, uh glucose is what sugar breaks down into.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Adipose tissue is fat.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, what kind of tissue is fat?
 '''Kacey:''' Adipose.
 '''Chris:''' Adipose?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Adipose. It- It means fat.
 '''Chris:''' Huh… [''Kacey talks over him''] Adipose is fat.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you know like, break down, like, sodium. Uh, do you know what sodium is?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, sodium's like salt.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, at least you know what that is.
 '''Chris:''' [''weakly''] Mmkay.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, cause things like calcium and potassium and sodium are extremely important to how your cells work.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Cap- Calcium and potassium and sodium. Yeah, I've heard that uh, yeah, one needs to have a good little bit of potassium and fortunately there is potassium in bananas and peanuts.
 '''Kacey:''' Right, but you don't want too much of neither sodium or, um potassium, because then your homeostasis will be put off. Do you know what homeostasis is?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah that's a new one on me. [''pronouncing it incorrectly''] Homeostasius.
 '''Kacey:''' Homeostasis. It means the balance your body is in for th- to be working at optimal levels.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. The balance for my body to be working at optimal levels. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, like I said it's huge 'cause then you have to get into positive feedback and negative feedback, you have to get into sol- uh, cellular levels and it's just… It- it- it's a lot.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It does sound like a lot. [''long pause''] So please continue.
 '''Kacey:''' Uhh, well what do you want to know about? Ask some questions, cause I don't know what wa- wo- would be too deep. I mean what do you want to know about metabolism?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... okay well yeah, I understand that th- sleep slows metabolism and that uh, it's a bad idea to eat before you go to asleep. Because uh, then it just, th- then the sweetness sw- the uh, digestion get slows down and then that's uh, one way the body and one wa- and one wa- one way that fat builds up.
 '''Kacey:''' Well technically um, you actually burn a lot of calories when you're sleeping. But yeah if you eat just before then umm, basically it depends on when you're eating. um, Because that's going to get your metabolism, no you probably shouldn't when you're not active. But the thing is that's also for people who usually eat only three times a day, if you eat five to six little meals and two snacks today you're pretty much ok. Because then your body's constantly eating- like if you only eat once a day which is really bad, your body goes into starvation mode even though your not starving yourself and it holds onto everything it can, especially fat.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, mmkay. yeah, well fortunately I like uhh, I eat- som- yeah, I like eat two or three meals in a day. [''pause''] Or uhh, like you know maybe, or like, you know maybe two uhh, or maybe two and uh, a small one or yeah like maybe a- maybe one [[McDonald's|big meal]] and two little ones, something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well it also depends on the portions you eat, like if you were eating multiple portions and a meal, you're not helping yourself at all, you're actually hurting your metabolism.
 '''Chris:''' yeah, I mostly eat- I mostly eat a single portion.
 '''Kacey:''' well, I think we already discussed that you don't really know what portion sizes are. Like okay,okay like, umm, a, [thinks] what do you usually get when you go to McDonalds? or BurgerKing? anywhere, what sandwich do you usually get?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well lately I've been ahh, lately I've been eating ahh, the ahh, "size sar" [''salad?''] when I been going to McDonalds or BurgerKing.
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts''] Okay, woah woah okay, you use to get grilled chicken sandwiches right?
 '''Chris:''' Um, yeah I did get a grilled chicken sandwich ['''Kacey:''' okay.] or sometimes, or some- or sometimes I'll have like a double cheese burger.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well lets go though the double cheese burger, how many servings of bread and meat do you think that is?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... [thinks] yeah, it would be stupid of me to say, one of each right? [chuckles]
 '''Kacey:''' [humorous tone] It would be ''amazingly'' stupid.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I dunno maybe probably like, I dunno like, two or three?
 '''Kacey:''' Well yeah, it's like two and a half for bread and if you have, let's say each patty is... we'll go ahead and say nine ounces each that is, ['''chris:''' is that how much?] that's almost six servings of meat right there.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, six servings are nine ounces?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, cuase it's anywhere from three to four ounces. So think about that, you're eating all the meat you should eat, in one burger.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' And it's not even lean.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' I know it's scary right?
 '''Chris:''' No! No, it n- it's not scary, just surprising.
 '''Kacey:''' [''typing''] Well I mean, you can go to your doctor and get tests for your metabolism to see where it is.
 '''Chris:''' [''stutters as he lies''] Yeah I, yeah I'll, yeah, I think it's okay but yeah I'll check with my doctor next time, sure they can- I'm sure that's, that's, that's in the bloodwork [''pronounced "budwork"'']. [''long pause''] Well at least my cholesterol is ok.
 '''Kacey:''' [''laughs''] well how do I know that? your on cholesterol um, medicine! I mean that's not good! That's not good at all! that means it not ok! [''chuckles''] cause even if it is helping out with your Homeostasis, that means you can't do it on your own.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah well, yeah, like I said before-
 '''Kacey:''' I- I mean it's my opinion that your metabolism is probably pretty bad right now, I mean mine is too! So I mean you should probably get it looked into.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah okay. Yeah, after talking about it right now yeah, I'll definitely get my metabolism checked out. [''long pause''] yeah I'll, yeah I'll talk to my doctor after I see him in November.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should probably get that done now, I mean this is important you shouldn't wait till November.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' Like me, in about a week, I'm getting all these test done you know, so I can see what I can improve my metabolism right, and I'm going on a diet plan and everything.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well you see the thing is you know, um, my family has imformed me like you know, if I schedule an appointment with my doctor it has to be like you know, ahh, I dunno, like an aliment or something because you know, our insur- our insurance.
 '''Kacey:''' [''loudly interrupts''] Chris this is an aliment! this is extremely an aliment! obesity is counted as a disease! I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, or I don't like fat people or anything, but this is important! Don't you care about your health? and plus you're on Medicaid!
 '''Chris:''' Um yeah, yeah okay, well, yeah, well I'll check with my family about that, and uhh, I'll see if I can't get an appointment to get my metabolism checked out.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, do you really need your family to tell you if it's okay for you to care about your body?
 '''Chris:''' [''slightly angry tone''] Uhh, no I do not need my family to tell me if it's ok to worry about my body or not. But I uhh, I just have to make sure that like, you know, insurance would cover an metabolism check up.
 '''Kacey:''' Well your family's not going to know that, you're going to have to call the insurance company or your going to have to call the doctor, and even if you don't get your metabolism checked, it's a good idea to go to your doctor and have an appointment and say "look, I really think I'm unhealthy, I want to get healthy again" and you should do that first. Because he's going to tell you whether he wants to check your metabolism or not, you may not even have to,['''Chris:''' Hmm.] your doctor would probably be thrilled.
 '''Chris:''' [''almost humoring tone''] M'kay yeah, [''pause''] yeah sounds good [''pause''] yeah well I get- yeah, I get uhh, I wanna get healthy yeah, uhmm hmm, what do you mean whe-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts''] Well you need to be serious about this and vigilant.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean how healthy do you think you are right now?
 '''Chris:''' How well do I think I am right now?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, how healthy do you think you are right now?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, how ''healthy'' do I think I am right now? umm, yeah I can't really say for certain, but I mean I feel okay. Uhh, but at least I'm exercising more and uh, I think my, I think my belly went in a little bit.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it's not going to happen that quickly um, unless you're killing yourself, but anyway, or taking steroids, but umm, so did you exercise today? how long did you jog?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah I power walked-
 '''Kacey:''' cause you said you were going to jog more right?
 '''Chris:''' yeah I'm getting into the, I'm getting to the jogging I just haven't gotten to the uhh, I walked, I walked, I uhh, I walked my almost two miles, around the neighborhood I'm not sure, it's almost, it's about two miles, the route I take you know, around my neighborhood. Including my heartbeat-
 '''Kacey:''' Well how do you know it's two miles? ['''chris:''' Yeah I previously-][''interrupts''] did you have a- uhm?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I previously measured it with my car.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know how you would measure with your car. Maybe you should get uh, one of those step monitors, that would help, most phones actually have them on there, umm or they have speed watches.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah, my phone is a Motorola W315 so I'm pretty, and plus, aside- and plus, I don't see it on there, so I'm pretty sure its not on there.
 '''Kacey:''' Well it'll be an application or something, a lot of phones do. But either way you gotta start jogging, walking's not going to help you, I told you, you know, it's NOT going to help you at all, and if you can't even jog, then you're seriously out of shape.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hmm, yeah, well I mean I could jog if I knew the running speed that jogging- if I knew the appropriate speed that ''is'', I mean I know it's somewhere between walking and running.
 '''Kacey:''' No it's, you have to get your heart rate up, you have to go online. The are calculators that you can use that will check what your heart rate needs to be for your weight and your height, and then what-
 '''Kacey:''' -do is you, you take your two fingers err, your umm, your pointer finger and your, the two ones by your thumb and you put them on your pulse in your neck and you count the beats per-minute and that's your heart rate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, I've learned that before yeah, the uhh measuring heart rate, before you called.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then you definitely, definitely, need to do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Okay. [''longer pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' So anything else on your mind? you know like both metabolism or any science stuff?
 '''Chris:''' Uhhh, I think it's pretty much, I think it's pretty much it for me there, on that. Arrum, okay let me tell you about my day a little bit umm, yeah I had my oat, I had my oatmeal as usual at first, and then I, and then I went out with my father you know just to keep him company. uhh, he c-
 '''Kacey:''' Um, real quick what type of oatmeal do you have?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah currently it's the food-loin brand oatmeal.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean is it flavored? or is it instant? or is it the actual oats?
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, I would say it's uhh, flavored instant.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you know how much sugar's in there right? I mean if you're gonna eat oatmeal you may as well eat real oatmeal or like some sort of granola. Cause that stuff can be just as bad, especially in the mornings.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm okay well, if that's the case then, okay well how much sugar should be in the uhh, oatmeal that I shouldn't eat, over eat on or if ca-
 '''Kacey:''' The shouldn't be any sugar in it, it's oatmeal! I mean if you want to add a little bit of brown sugar cinnamon, that would be good, but that's better than white sugar.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah okay, the brown sugar is better then white sugar, hang on, I'm going to go check the oatmeal to see if there's any sugar in it.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah definitely!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah hang on a second here, [''music in the background''] hmm let's see errm... oh, okay yeah the, okay yeah, the is, does seem to be sugar in this oatmeal.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I bet it's way over eight grams isn't it? and I bet you eat more than one serving.
 '''Chris:''' err no, I eat like one packet umm, let me have a check here umm... yeah I'm looking at the nutrition facts oh, here we are, it's not like uhh, about an of average eleven grams, between the four flavors.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you want to get down to at minimum about four grams, and even that's pushing it. Just you shou- what you should do is if you have those nutritional labels you should add up the percentages every day umm, to see umm, if you're going over a hundred percent of course. Plus if you want to lose wight your going to have to gradually decrease your calorie intake.
 '''Chris:''' [''door can be heard''] Yeah, I think I'm working on that you know, uhh, I'm ma, I'm making more healthy choices, you know, I'm eating, I'm eating more fruits and vegetables.
 '''Kacey:''' Well like I said remember, some fruits and vegetables can be bad for you. Depending on how your metabolism and how you have to lose weight, like with my diet, for the first month I can't have fruits vegetables or anything with carbs. Because these to many carbs in fruits and vegetables, like apples, you wouldn't think it, there in there.
 '''Chris:''' Huh, there's carbs in apples?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah in the skin, it's got fiber.
 '''Chris:''' Huh, and they always say a doctor a day, a apple a day is good for you and keeps the doctor away.
 '''Kacey:''' [''laughs''] Yeah, I mean it's good in moderation, but when you're starting off, you really need to shock your body so it starts using other fuels and in that way at least you can catch up and go to normal [''pause''] it's not good to stay on it for ever mind you, but ['''chris:''' hmm-hmm] you should really talk to your doctor about this. But umm, go ahead and tell me about your day.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah okay, so anyway I went out with my father with uhh, he went, he went out car battery shopping. Cause we need to get our cars inspected in uhh, next month. Including the uhh, incl, inc, you know we have twelve, four cars and uhh, one of them is a BMW it's pretty much suffering the same fate as the Jaguar we use to have, that was surposed to be my [[Barb|mother's]] car but [[obesity|she's not finding herself driving as much these days]]. So, yeah so, it's like you know, it was pretty much, pretty much, when I was shopping for an inexpensive battery for that car, for that BMW, and then I-
 '''Kacey:''' So basically she just not using it so the battery keeps dying?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Well yeah that sucks, you have to use cars. I mean if you're not using it why don't you guys sell it? if she obviously doesn't needs [''sounds like "eat"''] it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah Yeah, my father's been [''complaining?''] that as well, Its' like my mom, my mom does not want to do that. I mean it's her car and I-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I mean it's sucking up, it's sucking up insurance and it's a BMW, if she's not going to use it I mean, shit or get off the pot.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, w- wait what was, what was that expression you just used?
 '''Kacey:''' Shit or get off the pot, it's pretty vulgar but it's funny.
 '''Chris:''' Shit or get off the pot?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Huh, never heard that expression before.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah it's an old one.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean besides she might want to sell it now before it gets to, to old. I mean cause then you going to get like what? three hundred dollars for it? and I mean, you know, it's not like it's a Camaro or a trans am or anything.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well it is a stick shift model.
 '''Kacey:''' See a lot of people don't want stick shifts unless there collectors and there going to want them now. Because you know, people are just lazy about stick shifts nowadays.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, my father knows that you know, it can be sold for like ten thousand dollars, and he would like to sell it. But you know, the cars under my moms name, under my moms name its sorta like you know, we cant do anything without her consent on that thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean, if she's not going to use it, she's not going to use it. I mean that's, I mean can she even drive? does she drive?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yes sometimes but when she drives it's mostly you know, either my car or Dad's car or the [[obesity|van]].
 '''Kacey:''' She doesn't even want to use her car, why doesn't she sell it? That, that's not good.
 '''Chris:''' Well I don't know wha, what goes in her head. I mean it's like, it's like she, it's she's been that way ever since, ever since she retired a few years ago.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, also, she's not running it, it could be rusting. I mean it could be worth nothing soon.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, anyway, my father says, you know, it would be, it would be in condition, it's just the, it's just the battery that, that's having trouble, you know? Just the battery thing.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but it starts there and then it goes to other things like the alternator and that's never good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah. Anyway, getting back to my day, uh, so yeah, I went out with my father who... I kept him company while he battery shopped, uh. Yeah, I also hang, I also hung out with him at, for lunch over at Chick-fil-a. I had a coupon to get a free large fry with a purchase of a drink, but instead of fries I got a small fruit cup.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' And I, and I had sprite. Anyway, and uh, anyway, and uh, eventually...
 '''Kacey:''' Have you ever thought of cutting out sodas?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am thinking about that. I'm thinking on, like you know, about putting myself on one, but it's a slow process, you know? I mean I can't just go cold turkey on soda.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah you can, it's easy.
 '''Chris:''' Not when you're, not when you're, not when one is a soda jerk. Or, to but it in a negative term, addicted to it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, do you get like caffeine headaches if you don't get soda?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I wouldn't, I wouldn't know that. It's like, at this point I haven't even gone a day at least, at least, without at least one serving of it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well yeah, that does seem like a problem. You should probably switch to diet sodas and then to juice and then to water. Cuss you really need, I mean just getting rid of it would be so much better.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, well fortunately I got like three, unfortunately I had just gotten to the uh, [''coughs''] Excuse me. [''coughs again''] I have some, I have mucus in my throat. Well I could say I have a frog in throat, and he's using my tonsils for a lily pad.
 '''Kacey:''' [''forced laugh'']
 '''Chris:''' I got that joke from Red Skelton.
 '''Kacey:''' Nice.
 '''Chris:''' Remember Red Skelton? He was a funny man.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, he uh, died a couple of years ago, right?
 '''Chris:''' No, he died like more than that. Uh, I think he like died during the, uh, ear... during the mid 1990's. I think it was like a heart problem or something. You could look it up.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to the trip out, uh. We ended up also going over to Sears to check that, check out the prices there, but, you know, while he, while my father went to look at the prices, I went to look at the uh, look at the fitness workout DVDs and uh getting, and uh getting, getting the prices, finding the price matches(?) on there, so I can plan on getting, getting a workout DVD. Just like, you know, if I can't go walking, power walking or jogging, like, you know if it's raining or something. Uh, anyway, in the Sears I went looking there for the DVDs, couldn't find much in there but I did find, I searched where they had all the bunches of treadmills. I also found there, uh, there are bunches of, there are bunches of, there, uh, things for weight and the pedometers.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' I looked into those a little bit, so I took, I took some notes there. And uh, then, I had my father wanted to go to Best-Buy so, yeah, we went by Best-Buy. I found some DVDs there. And I considered all of them.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' I, uh, I even found a DVD set from Carmen Electra's strip tease workout, something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, I mean it's a maybe, but I'm, but I'm not gonna, but it's not right off the bat. I mean it just kinda struck, it just, you know? Little bit funny, it's just the same... anyway. Anyway, right after I took the, after I got the, after I looked at the DVDs, I also took another look at the, uh, title's of some more appropriately choice DVDs out of the bunches I saw there. Uh, I also found, I also found, this, there's a display of real guitars there, not, so I, you know I just strummed on the, uh, on the six strings of the uh real one a few times and uh, you know just to listen to it?
 '''Kacey:''' What did it sound like?
 '''Chris:''' You know, just the old, uh, twang, you know just [''imitating guitar''] TWANG, twang, twang, twang, twang.
 '''Kacey:''' So I guess it didn't so very good, huh?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, it sounded good. I mean, it's just like, you know, my imitating it's just not as accurate as the real deal. Anyway, Kim and I have been talking about, you know, a little bit of me picking up real guitar and taking, and taking lessons. I'm talking, I might, I, I'll, I'll consider doing that after I get, after I get some more money in, you know? Save it up.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're going to have to work on those and you can't, like, not practice because you're stressed or something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a huge commitment.
 '''Chris:''' Yup. I hear that. Anyway, aside from that, we came home and I did the, uh, audio of the video books for uh book number one and then it got to night, starting uploading those. Hmm. Oh yeah, and I started, uh, work on the, uh first sex drawing last night. I decided to go ahead and do the, uh, foursome drawing first. But it's like, you know, almost done drawing wise, so it's like, so it's like after I finish it up, I'll color it in. I didn't know how the, uh, other three, the other three drawings will do. You know, me with each of the girls.
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's cool...
 '''Kacey:''' ...I look forward to them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway uh, that night also, I, uh, just, just after I started to blow up those video books I also created a section on the CWCipedia to put those video books on. It's like, basically, I figured, you know, it would be too much to put all the video books on the one page, so I created the one page with like, the first episode on it and then the, and then the list of the uh, each, of each book and then, you know, there's respective sets of videos under each book. So it's like, you know, for books you're gonna have the four videos for that, and then I'm gonna have the four videos for book one, on the book, on the book one video page, and then so, and then so on and so forth for each of the rest, each of the remaining books.
 '''Kacey:''' That's cool.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, also I, also I played a little bit of Guitar Hero, and then, and then I talked to Kim and now I'm talking to you.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I hope you work on those drawings. Those will be interesting.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I am and I will finish them.
 '''Kacey:''' Good, cuss you said you'd finish them a couple nights ago.
 '''Chris:''' [''laughs''] Uhh, yeah, but then the emails happened and what not. I promise you they will be, they will be done within the next few, within the next few days. Or few nights.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well um, are you sending me, um, also, that, uh that stuff. You said you were sending me that stuff for uh, the PSN right?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, the photocopies of my receipts and the, uh, sho, and the shots of the, uh, transactions from the PlayStation network. Yeah, I'm, yeah I'm gonna do those. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'll, I'll send those out to you tomorrow, I promise.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well it's been two days. I want to know you're serious about this.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah I am very serious about it. I am very serious about having you help me as a couch on, on that thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cuss that's good, um... just make sure you do it okay?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, so anything new happen to, uh, to you today?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, no, not really. I took a couple tests and then I went to work, really boring stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, um, anything else on your mind tonight?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, no, I mean I'm just a little tired, so I think I might just go to bed.
 '''Chris:''' Ahhh. Okay, well I mean, it's, it's the weeken- it's still Friday, so you know, you have tomorrow, Saturday, and then Sunday, it's the weekend. You know-
 '''Kacey:''' Yup.
 '''Chris:''' Then you can go back to studying after you get home from church I guess.
 '''Kacey:''' Yup.
 '''Chris:''' On Sunday.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that's just the plan.
 '''Chris:''' [''laughs''] Yeah. Okay, cool. All right, well, you know I just want to let you know, I wanted to remind you that I appreciate you being my friend.
 '''Kacey:''' Ohh, no problem.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it makes me feel good. You know, to have you as my friend.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, I will talk to you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' All right, I'll talk to you tomorrow as well. You take care, stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you too, bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye bye.





==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 13]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 15]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 13

2014-05-23T06:21:28Z

Export A:

An overview of the call:

*[[Chris]] started to make [[audiobooks]], but his [[mom]] stopped him so he could get a flu shot. He returned home and made the audiobook for the first book. Thinks that audiobooks are hard work because he has to take pages out of the sleeves.
*Chris claims that because he's videotaping the pages, it's like a cartoon because the pictures are hand drawn.
*[[Kacey]] asks Chris for screenshots of his bank statements, receipts, and [[PSN]] info to prove he's not spending too much.
*Chris claims he was going to make "[[sex]] drawings" for Kacey, but after checking his email and seeing [[trolls]] emailing him, it "wore him down emotionally" so he didn't do anything.
*Chris talks about playing the new demo for ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' because they changed a few things.
*Kacey gets mad and asks if he played anything else. Chris first said no, then he says he played ''[[Guitar Hero]]''.
*"You like sex drawings don't you? *creepy laugh*" -Chris.
*Chris claims that he's saving up several hundred dollars for a speaking and a pole dancing class between December and January.
*Kacey suggests art classes, Chris doesn't like the idea.
*Chris is unsure about pole dancing classes because Kim won't look up the info for him. Kacey asks why he won't do it himself, he says he's too busy.
*Barb and Bob want Kacey to call them to talk to them because they don't believe that Chris could really have a friend.
*Kacey tells Chris to apply for more [[job]]s.
*Chris asks Kacey if all her roommates are asleep. Kacey says no and asks why. Chris obviously wants to talk about sexual stuff with Kacey but tries to backtrack and says that he didn't want to bother them.
*Kacey ends the call.

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 13
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|3urqe0qx9BM}}
| stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 12]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 14]]
}} </Center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it’s Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey! How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Sup! I’m sorry I’m so late
 '''Chris:''' It’s okay I waited for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Aw, thank you.
 '''Chris:''' It’s okay, I like waiting for you, ‘cause it just makes it all the more better when you get to your phone and call me.
 '''Kacey:''' Aw!
 '''Chris:''' And then you know, I feel like, you know, it’s worth the wait
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] okay
 '''Chris:''' Did you have a busy day at work I assume?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, definitely
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I had a bit of a day myself. I got up, I had some oatmeal, and I started- and then I set up the card table and got my books out. So I start- I started the audio books around there, and all I remembered I had a scheduled appointment between me and my Mom to get our flu vaccination shots today so… Yeah so we went down to the Martha Jefferson clinic and we got our flu shots. Then we had- then we got a little ice cream over at McDonalds and, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh
 '''Chris:''' Then we came back home. And, uh after that- After I got back, you know, I did the videos for the first book, and then after that, I was just like you know it’s just expensive[?] ‘cause, you know, I had to take the pages out of the page sleeves. And they, in realizing that was quite a bit of work, and I didn’t feel like doing another book after that, it just wore me out little bit. So I’ll do another book or two tomorrow. And I’ll have all the books currently- I’ll have all the pages I have up on video book format-
 '''Kacey:''' Why are you calling it a video book? It’s supposed to be an audio book?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I talked to Kim about that. She defined the audio book as one where it’s like, you know, you could listen to it in like, you could actually describe it- supposedly, originally audio books are for the blind man, something like that, and uh, yeah. And that just didn’t describe the situation that was going on in the page so-
 '''Kacey:''' Right, right
 '''Chris:''' -She agreed it was more like a video book
 '''Kacey:''' Right, plus if you are going to do a video book you can’t see everything. You’d have to make it a lot more clear and you’d have to, you know, dub the sound over it. Make it look a lot more professional.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, dub the sound over it?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like you don’t want to- I mean the video quality is horrible. You know, like Vivian does, just follow her example. You don’t want it to be blurry. Plus most video books have a little bit of animation or something going on.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, well it’s a little animated because it’s hand drawn, it’s like a cartoon so-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, that’s not a video though.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah well… I might try to do the Zero Book tomorrow then, with that in place. Uh, just find me a better- yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' I’ll think about it. I’ll work on it more. At least I got started on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Also, I got your email and I thank you for giving me those, but like I said, I want to be on the same page as you. Is there a way you could get me actual screenshots of it or something? I had to do this for an ex-boyfriend once, with his bank statements. I just like to be able to see it personally there, to make sure you’re not trying to hide anything. Because remember, you’re at the start of a big financial journey and I just want to make sure that you and I are being clear between each other. I mean, so you don’t fake anything. I’m not saying you would. I’m just doing this because I’m being serious and I want you to be serious.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well I can guarantee I’m not faking it, and uh-
 '''Kacey:''' It would still make me feel a lot better.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well, let me ask- let me just clarify that, what did you mean by screenshots?
 '''Kacey:''' Like he would go to his bank statements and take printscreens of them to show them to me, so it was the actual thing. He would give me his online receipts, stuff like that, so I could see it all.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, well that’s not a problem. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome!
 '''Chris:''' But I mean like, you know, between the ones I got from the stores I can just leave out my debit card number.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yeah, I don’t need your debit card number. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah they put a part of that on the receipt usually. I’ll just cover that up and I’ll scan them in and as for the online transactions- what I did with the Playstation Accounts I can just load that up on my Playstation 3 and then just take pictures of each transaction even though I have it all hand written accordingly on paper as well.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh, no that would be great because that would just show that you’re trusting me and that would make me feel a lot better.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I’ll do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' I’ll do all that… Yeah and also, just to give you an update I was going to do those sex drawings last night but then I checked my email on my AO- on my email and a bunch of troll emails just kind of wore me down emotionally and I just didn’t feel like drawing after that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you- Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' But I feel a little better tonight and I’ve already checked- gone through my email so-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean it’s just emails though so how did it wear you down? I mean, you could just ignore them, they’re just trolls. That’s what I’d do.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but it’s like you know, I have to sort through the email, you know. Aside from the troll email I also get spam email you know, some of the subscriptions that they’ve falsely signed me up for, that I have to go unsubscribe from them.
 '''Kacey:''' You could just block those addresses. It’s not a big deal. AOL should have a spam filter. I thought you were going to do the drawings before you did the audio books so I’m kind of confused.
 '''Chris:''' Ahhh [pause] I just got a little of out of order, but I’ll straighten myself up. I’ll start the drawings tonight.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, that’s good. You’ve got to get on the ball with these things. You’ve got to keep deadlines, because setting goals for yourself is always good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah that’s true. Okay... Yeah, anyway we got back home-I did the audio book. I started the upload on those. I played a little LittleBigPlanet- played the new demo because I wanted to try that out. They came out with the demo version of LittleBigPlanet today.
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hmm
 '''Chris:''' It’s pretty good, you know they redid the introductory level. It looks better than the original introductory level if you’ve ever played that. You know it’s the very first- You know you first put in LittleBigPlanet the game disk into the Playstation 3- you go in, that’s the very first level you play right off the bat. It’s also accessible from the map.
 '''Kacey:''' Well how long did you play it?
 '''Chris:''' Well I played it all the way through it took me about less than an hour?
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm
 '''Chris:''' I mean it was like the first- the introductory level re-done, and the first three levels. But it gave me- it included two levels which are available online from the community. That a couple of players had done.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well since you didn’t do any of the drawings, did you play anything else?
 '''Chris:''' I’m sorry I didn’t understand the question.
 '''Kacey:''' Did you play any other of the games, since you were doing that instead of drawing?
 '''Chris:''' Ah no. Oh yeah, I played a little Guitar Hero, for about fifteen minutes, half an hour. And then [sound of keys tapping] Kim was about to call me, so I had to stop, but yeah, I will get to the drawing after we finish talking here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cool. That’s awesome. I will look forward to those.
 '''Chris:''' Mm’kay. You like sex drawings don’t you? [creepy laugh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, well, they’re interesting [nervous laugh]. You know, and hand drawings are good to. I just want to see your creativity.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah, as long as they’re original hand drawing, you’ll appreciate it, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Right, exactly. I appreciate them as mature art.
 '''Chris:''' That’s cool.
 '''Kacey:''' And other people will too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah I can see that. Yeah, Okay, cool very good.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it’s not Sonichu so you have a different level to be appreciated on now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, not Sonichu yeah. Yep, yep, yep. So many yeps. I forgot- I lost what I was going to say next, but oh well. [laughs] Hmm… Let’s see what else. What else? What else? What else is going on [pause] Yeah okay, my mind’s a little blank right now. Did you learn anything new right now, or anything different happen?
 '''Kacey:''' No not really. We had to do an assignment where we just were able to- It was in the Communications Class were we got paired up and we had to go out and observe somebody and make assumptions about them based on their physical appearance. Then we had to go talk to them and see if our assumptions were right, and that was it.
 '''Chris:''' Oh
 '''Kacey:''' We had activity period today so two of my classes were canceled.
 '''Chris:''' Activity period?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' What is that?
 '''Kacey:''' It’s where you can go and join other student clubs and they just make sure you don’t have classes so you have time to do it.
 '''Chris:''' Oh I see, it’s like at high school, they bring up all the high school clubs and you can sign up, like karate or ballet, whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I guess.
 '''Chris:''' And you have the opportunity to sign up for those.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, yeah that’s cool. Have you thought about going back to school yourself to take some public speaking and art classes?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I’m still thinking about that, you know. I gotta- Yeah I’ll probably see another couple hundred between December and January and sign up for public speaking and… sign up for public speaking. I didn’t even catch all of that, did you say an art class?
 '''Kacey:''' Art classes, yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, Well I’m not sure about art classes. But I mean the second class I was definitely contemplating signing up for was the pole dancing since I missed out on that this time.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] I know we talked about the poll dancing class earlier. I was gonna- I was thinking about signing up for that, and then Kim was supposed to let me know about, you know, information but she was so busy. And she just could really find the time to find that information, so I-
 '''Kacey:''' Well why couldn’t you find the information, I mean that’s pretty easy to look up?
 '''Chris:''' I was busy too… and I just didn’t really think of it.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, but yeah I looked it up a little bit and I got some information so, I’ll definitely think about signing up for that, you know, in the Spring.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well that’s good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is good. [long pause, sound of typing] Mmmm.
 '''Kacey:''' [sighs]
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, So what else is going on with you? Or yeah, it’s just- that’s it then isn’t it?
 '''Kacey:''' I’m sorry?
 '''Chris:''' Just classes and work?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, just classes and work. Just, you know. You need to be a little more independent. Kim has a lot of things to do, like a job and stuff. I know you’re busy with your comics and stuff, but that doesn’t really seem like an excuse to not be able to look stuff up like that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' You need to take responsibility because you really- you’re not even a quarter as busy as we are.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, I’m sorry what was that expression, I’m not as what as you are?
 '''Kacey:''' You’re not even a quarter as busy as both of us are. We have really busy, hectic lives.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm, yeah. Well, yeah you know, I’m definitely waiting to hear back from- see if I get one of those jobs or not, but hopefully I will, and then I will be a little bit more busy, for real.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but even then, we all live on our own. You need to count your blessings and not try to use that as an excuse.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah… Mmm’kay. Yeah I get it, yep. Well that reminds me. You remember I told you, I’d like to know if it was pretty much safe for you to call my fam- call my Mom and Dad, introduce yourself, maybe schedule a little meet and greet, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-Huh
 '''Chris:''' Things have calmed down pretty well around and here. I think maybe uh, maybe about tomorrow or the weekend, I feel it’s a good time to call them up and say, “hey.”
 '''Kacey:''' I’ll think about it [sounds from computer]
 '''Chris:''' Okay
 '''Kacey:''' But why would I have to? Do they really not trust me that much?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my parents are like- they’re just enclosed, they’re finding it hard to believe for me to have friends in real life. They gotta meet my friends in person, just to make them feel better. I told Kim as well about this earlier tonight.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, it’s just- I don’t know why. Meeting someone’s parents is a big thing. It’s not like it’s something serious. That’s like something you would do for- when you’re going to get married. I understand where you’re going but, I’ll think about it. I’ll think about it.
 '''Chris:''' It is not- we’re not getting married, it’s not like that. I’m just trying to make my parents feel better, you know, letting them know that I have- letting them meet my friends, and then maybe they’ll trust me to make my own friends beyond…in addition.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if they want you to be more adult they’re going to have to let you be more adult.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, I’m just making the suggestion of you and Kim meeting my parents, making them feel better about, like, you know. I actually have friends, that I have- I have been trusting, and they can feel that they can trust as well.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, like I said, I’ll think about it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay
 '''Kacey:''' So how is your status with any jobs have you gotten any interviews?
 '''Chris:''' No, not yet.
 '''Kacey:''' Have you been calling back to let them know- to ask them what the status is?
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm… yeah. I haven’t called them back yet. [sound of typing] I’ll put that on my agenda for tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you need to do that quickly or they’re going to think you’re not interested at all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay…yeah [long pause] Let me ask you though, yeah. You’re living with your roommates in your apartment, are they all asleep now?
 '''Kacey:''' No, not really, most of us are night owls, why?
 '''Chris:''' I’m just curious. Like you know, they’re asleep and you’re talking, uh… [nervous stuttering] I just thought- uh, I don’t know.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I can go outside on the phone anyway, it’s not that big of a deal. Are you worried somebody is listening?
 '''Chris:''' No not really, I just didn’t want to bother your roommates, if they get bothered when they… I don’t know. I just don’t like offending people, or feel like I’m offending anybody, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, just making sure there’s not an ulterior motive.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you, no ulterior motives.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so um, I’m going to go because I’ve got early classes tomorrow. So I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’ll probably be late again, so I apologize.
 '''Chris:''' That’s okay, I’ll wait for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, thank you. Alright, bye.
 '''Chris:''' You stay safe, take care, bye-bye.
[call ends]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 12]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 14]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 13

2014-05-23T06:20:58Z

Export A:

An overview of the call:

*[[Chris]] started to make [[audiobooks]], but his [[mom]] stopped him so he could get a flu shot. He returned home and made the audiobook for the first book. Thinks that audiobooks are hard work because he has to take pages out of the sleeves.
*Chris claims that because he's videotaping the pages, it's like a cartoon because the pictures are hand drawn.
*[[Kacey]] asks Chris for screenshots of his bank statements, receipts, and [[PSN]] info to prove he's not spending too much.
*Chris claims he was going to make "[[sex]] drawings" for Kacey, but after checking his email and seeing [[trolls]] emailing him, it "wore him down emotionally" so he didn't do anything.
*Chris talks about playing the new demo for ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' because they changed a few things.
*Kacey gets mad and asks if he played anything else. Chris first said no, then he says he played ''[[Guitar Hero]]''.
*"You like sex drawings don't you? *creepy laugh*" -Chris.
*Chris claims that he's saving up several hundred dollars for a speaking and a pole dancing class between December and January.
*Kacey suggests art classes, Chris doesn't like the idea.
*Chris is unsure about pole dancing classes because Kim won't look up the info for him. Kacey asks why he won't do it himself, he says he's too busy.
*Barb and Bob want Kacey to call them to talk to them because they don't believe that Chris could really have a friend.
*Kacey tells Chris to apply for more [[job]]s.
*Chris asks Kacey if all her roommates are asleep. Kacey says no and asks why. Chris obviously wants to talk about sexual stuff with Kacey but tries to backtrack and says that he didn't want to bother them.
*Kacey ends the call.

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 13
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|PhYIb7hhFeA}}
| stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 12]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 14]]
}} </Center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it’s Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey! How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' Sup! I’m sorry I’m so late
 '''Chris:''' It’s okay I waited for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Aw, thank you.
 '''Chris:''' It’s okay, I like waiting for you, ‘cause it just makes it all the more better when you get to your phone and call me.
 '''Kacey:''' Aw!
 '''Chris:''' And then you know, I feel like, you know, it’s worth the wait
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] okay
 '''Chris:''' Did you have a busy day at work I assume?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, definitely
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I had a bit of a day myself. I got up, I had some oatmeal, and I started- and then I set up the card table and got my books out. So I start- I started the audio books around there, and all I remembered I had a scheduled appointment between me and my Mom to get our flu vaccination shots today so… Yeah so we went down to the Martha Jefferson clinic and we got our flu shots. Then we had- then we got a little ice cream over at McDonalds and, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh
 '''Chris:''' Then we came back home. And, uh after that- After I got back, you know, I did the videos for the first book, and then after that, I was just like you know it’s just expensive[?] ‘cause, you know, I had to take the pages out of the page sleeves. And they, in realizing that was quite a bit of work, and I didn’t feel like doing another book after that, it just wore me out little bit. So I’ll do another book or two tomorrow. And I’ll have all the books currently- I’ll have all the pages I have up on video book format-
 '''Kacey:''' Why are you calling it a video book? It’s supposed to be an audio book?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I talked to Kim about that. She defined the audio book as one where it’s like, you know, you could listen to it in like, you could actually describe it- supposedly, originally audio books are for the blind man, something like that, and uh, yeah. And that just didn’t describe the situation that was going on in the page so-
 '''Kacey:''' Right, right
 '''Chris:''' -She agreed it was more like a video book
 '''Kacey:''' Right, plus if you are going to do a video book you can’t see everything. You’d have to make it a lot more clear and you’d have to, you know, dub the sound over it. Make it look a lot more professional.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, dub the sound over it?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like you don’t want to- I mean the video quality is horrible. You know, like Vivian does, just follow her example. You don’t want it to be blurry. Plus most video books have a little bit of animation or something going on.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, well it’s a little animated because it’s hand drawn, it’s like a cartoon so-
 '''Kacey:''' I know, that’s not a video though.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah well… I might try to do the Zero Book tomorrow then, with that in place. Uh, just find me a better- yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' I’ll think about it. I’ll work on it more. At least I got started on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. Also, I got your email and I thank you for giving me those, but like I said, I want to be on the same page as you. Is there a way you could get me actual screenshots of it or something? I had to do this for an ex-boyfriend once, with his bank statements. I just like to be able to see it personally there, to make sure you’re not trying to hide anything. Because remember, you’re at the start of a big financial journey and I just want to make sure that you and I are being clear between each other. I mean, so you don’t fake anything. I’m not saying you would. I’m just doing this because I’m being serious and I want you to be serious.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well I can guarantee I’m not faking it, and uh-
 '''Kacey:''' It would still make me feel a lot better.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well, let me ask- let me just clarify that, what did you mean by screenshots?
 '''Kacey:''' Like he would go to his bank statements and take printscreens of them to show them to me, so it was the actual thing. He would give me his online receipts, stuff like that, so I could see it all.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, well that’s not a problem. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome!
 '''Chris:''' But I mean like, you know, between the ones I got from the stores I can just leave out my debit card number.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yeah, I don’t need your debit card number. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah they put a part of that on the receipt usually. I’ll just cover that up and I’ll scan them in and as for the online transactions- what I did with the Playstation Accounts I can just load that up on my Playstation 3 and then just take pictures of each transaction even though I have it all hand written accordingly on paper as well.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh, no that would be great because that would just show that you’re trusting me and that would make me feel a lot better.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I’ll do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' I’ll do all that… Yeah and also, just to give you an update I was going to do those sex drawings last night but then I checked my email on my AO- on my email and a bunch of troll emails just kind of wore me down emotionally and I just didn’t feel like drawing after that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you- Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' But I feel a little better tonight and I’ve already checked- gone through my email so-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean it’s just emails though so how did it wear you down? I mean, you could just ignore them, they’re just trolls. That’s what I’d do.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but it’s like you know, I have to sort through the email, you know. Aside from the troll email I also get spam email you know, some of the subscriptions that they’ve falsely signed me up for, that I have to go unsubscribe from them.
 '''Kacey:''' You could just block those addresses. It’s not a big deal. AOL should have a spam filter. I thought you were going to do the drawings before you did the audio books so I’m kind of confused.
 '''Chris:''' Ahhh [pause] I just got a little of out of order, but I’ll straighten myself up. I’ll start the drawings tonight.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, that’s good. You’ve got to get on the ball with these things. You’ve got to keep deadlines, because setting goals for yourself is always good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah that’s true. Okay... Yeah, anyway we got back home-I did the audio book. I started the upload on those. I played a little LittleBigPlanet- played the new demo because I wanted to try that out. They came out with the demo version of LittleBigPlanet today.
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hmm
 '''Chris:''' It’s pretty good, you know they redid the introductory level. It looks better than the original introductory level if you’ve ever played that. You know it’s the very first- You know you first put in LittleBigPlanet the game disk into the Playstation 3- you go in, that’s the very first level you play right off the bat. It’s also accessible from the map.
 '''Kacey:''' Well how long did you play it?
 '''Chris:''' Well I played it all the way through it took me about less than an hour?
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm
 '''Chris:''' I mean it was like the first- the introductory level re-done, and the first three levels. But it gave me- it included two levels which are available online from the community. That a couple of players had done.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well since you didn’t do any of the drawings, did you play anything else?
 '''Chris:''' I’m sorry I didn’t understand the question.
 '''Kacey:''' Did you play any other of the games, since you were doing that instead of drawing?
 '''Chris:''' Ah no. Oh yeah, I played a little Guitar Hero, for about fifteen minutes, half an hour. And then [sound of keys tapping] Kim was about to call me, so I had to stop, but yeah, I will get to the drawing after we finish talking here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cool. That’s awesome. I will look forward to those.
 '''Chris:''' Mm’kay. You like sex drawings don’t you? [creepy laugh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, well, they’re interesting [nervous laugh]. You know, and hand drawings are good to. I just want to see your creativity.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah, as long as they’re original hand drawing, you’ll appreciate it, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Right, exactly. I appreciate them as mature art.
 '''Chris:''' That’s cool.
 '''Kacey:''' And other people will too.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah I can see that. Yeah, Okay, cool very good.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it’s not Sonichu so you have a different level to be appreciated on now.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, not Sonichu yeah. Yep, yep, yep. So many yeps. I forgot- I lost what I was going to say next, but oh well. [laughs] Hmm… Let’s see what else. What else? What else? What else is going on [pause] Yeah okay, my mind’s a little blank right now. Did you learn anything new right now, or anything different happen?
 '''Kacey:''' No not really. We had to do an assignment where we just were able to- It was in the Communications Class were we got paired up and we had to go out and observe somebody and make assumptions about them based on their physical appearance. Then we had to go talk to them and see if our assumptions were right, and that was it.
 '''Chris:''' Oh
 '''Kacey:''' We had activity period today so two of my classes were canceled.
 '''Chris:''' Activity period?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' What is that?
 '''Kacey:''' It’s where you can go and join other student clubs and they just make sure you don’t have classes so you have time to do it.
 '''Chris:''' Oh I see, it’s like at high school, they bring up all the high school clubs and you can sign up, like karate or ballet, whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I guess.
 '''Chris:''' And you have the opportunity to sign up for those.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, yeah that’s cool. Have you thought about going back to school yourself to take some public speaking and art classes?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I’m still thinking about that, you know. I gotta- Yeah I’ll probably see another couple hundred between December and January and sign up for public speaking and… sign up for public speaking. I didn’t even catch all of that, did you say an art class?
 '''Kacey:''' Art classes, yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, Well I’m not sure about art classes. But I mean the second class I was definitely contemplating signing up for was the pole dancing since I missed out on that this time.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] I know we talked about the poll dancing class earlier. I was gonna- I was thinking about signing up for that, and then Kim was supposed to let me know about, you know, information but she was so busy. And she just could really find the time to find that information, so I-
 '''Kacey:''' Well why couldn’t you find the information, I mean that’s pretty easy to look up?
 '''Chris:''' I was busy too… and I just didn’t really think of it.
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, but yeah I looked it up a little bit and I got some information so, I’ll definitely think about signing up for that, you know, in the Spring.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well that’s good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is good. [long pause, sound of typing] Mmmm.
 '''Kacey:''' [sighs]
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, So what else is going on with you? Or yeah, it’s just- that’s it then isn’t it?
 '''Kacey:''' I’m sorry?
 '''Chris:''' Just classes and work?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, just classes and work. Just, you know. You need to be a little more independent. Kim has a lot of things to do, like a job and stuff. I know you’re busy with your comics and stuff, but that doesn’t really seem like an excuse to not be able to look stuff up like that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' You need to take responsibility because you really- you’re not even a quarter as busy as we are.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, I’m sorry what was that expression, I’m not as what as you are?
 '''Kacey:''' You’re not even a quarter as busy as both of us are. We have really busy, hectic lives.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm, yeah. Well, yeah you know, I’m definitely waiting to hear back from- see if I get one of those jobs or not, but hopefully I will, and then I will be a little bit more busy, for real.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but even then, we all live on our own. You need to count your blessings and not try to use that as an excuse.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah… Mmm’kay. Yeah I get it, yep. Well that reminds me. You remember I told you, I’d like to know if it was pretty much safe for you to call my fam- call my Mom and Dad, introduce yourself, maybe schedule a little meet and greet, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-Huh
 '''Chris:''' Things have calmed down pretty well around and here. I think maybe uh, maybe about tomorrow or the weekend, I feel it’s a good time to call them up and say, “hey.”
 '''Kacey:''' I’ll think about it [sounds from computer]
 '''Chris:''' Okay
 '''Kacey:''' But why would I have to? Do they really not trust me that much?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my parents are like- they’re just enclosed, they’re finding it hard to believe for me to have friends in real life. They gotta meet my friends in person, just to make them feel better. I told Kim as well about this earlier tonight.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, it’s just- I don’t know why. Meeting someone’s parents is a big thing. It’s not like it’s something serious. That’s like something you would do for- when you’re going to get married. I understand where you’re going but, I’ll think about it. I’ll think about it.
 '''Chris:''' It is not- we’re not getting married, it’s not like that. I’m just trying to make my parents feel better, you know, letting them know that I have- letting them meet my friends, and then maybe they’ll trust me to make my own friends beyond…in addition.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if they want you to be more adult they’re going to have to let you be more adult.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, I’m just making the suggestion of you and Kim meeting my parents, making them feel better about, like, you know. I actually have friends, that I have- I have been trusting, and they can feel that they can trust as well.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, like I said, I’ll think about it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay
 '''Kacey:''' So how is your status with any jobs have you gotten any interviews?
 '''Chris:''' No, not yet.
 '''Kacey:''' Have you been calling back to let them know- to ask them what the status is?
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm… yeah. I haven’t called them back yet. [sound of typing] I’ll put that on my agenda for tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you need to do that quickly or they’re going to think you’re not interested at all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay…yeah [long pause] Let me ask you though, yeah. You’re living with your roommates in your apartment, are they all asleep now?
 '''Kacey:''' No, not really, most of us are night owls, why?
 '''Chris:''' I’m just curious. Like you know, they’re asleep and you’re talking, uh… [nervous stuttering] I just thought- uh, I don’t know.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I can go outside on the phone anyway, it’s not that big of a deal. Are you worried somebody is listening?
 '''Chris:''' No not really, I just didn’t want to bother your roommates, if they get bothered when they… I don’t know. I just don’t like offending people, or feel like I’m offending anybody, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, just making sure there’s not an ulterior motive.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you, no ulterior motives.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so um, I’m going to go because I’ve got early classes tomorrow. So I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’ll probably be late again, so I apologize.
 '''Chris:''' That’s okay, I’ll wait for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, thank you. Alright, bye.
 '''Chris:''' You stay safe, take care, bye-bye.
[call ends]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 12]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 14]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 12

2014-05-23T06:04:11Z

Export A:

A brief overview of the call:

*First yoga class for [[Chris]].
*[[Kacey]] trying to sound smart about medical stuff, Chris doesn't care.
*Chris trying to tell [[trolls]] that call him that Kacey is his girlfriend, Kacey said "we're just friends".
*Unwilling to get a new cell phone number because he would have to update the number on [[PSN]] but it's too much effort.
*Chris talks about Burger King food, says that oatmeal is veggies.
*Chris says that he needs to move out of his house and get a job before he learns to cook for himself.
*[[Kim]] told him to go to yoga class.
*Chris trying to talk about how sitting in different positions makes it impossible to breathe. He and Kacey argue about it.
*Walking around [[mall]] = exercise.
*Gamestop employee recognized Chris and took a picture with him
*Chris gave blood. This means that someone has part of Chris inside of them. THIS MEANS SOMEONE HAS CHRIS INSIDE OF THEM.
*Chris trying to explain what giving plasma is to Kacey despite the fact that she keeps saying over and over that she knows what it is.
*Chris sent out [[Sonichu 0]] to Marvel, Dark Horse, and Archie.
*Kacey: "You know how you said I weighed a lot? how much do you think Kim weighs?" Chris: "175-150, somewhere between there." Kacey: "How much do you weigh?" Chris: "last time I checked 215-220."
*Chris actually seems interested in blood types.
*Chris says that his mind goes blank because he is too creative for his thoughts. He refers to himself as a "creative genius".
*Chris says that the way the brain works is the same as computers: random access memory.
*Chris is writing a 500 word essay about [[autism]] for Kacey. He tries to emphasize how great he is for doing this.

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 12
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|McjV0L6RbpI}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 11]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 13]]
}} </Center>

'''Chris:''' Hello? 
'''Kacey:''' Hey! It’s Kacey, what’s up? 
'''Chris:''' Hey Kacey I was waiting for you 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah? [Laughs] You know, work just keeps trying to make me stay late so, um- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Kacey:''' What’s up? 
'''Chris:''' Oh, you know, this and that. I went to my first yoga class today that was good. I feel like- 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, that’s exciting! 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I’m sorry what? 
'''Kacey:''' I said that’s exciting 
'''Chris:''' Oh, OK yeah it was, and it was very good. It was also, you know, classes uh, weekly apparently, so I’ll definitely be going to future ones including the one next week. 
'''Kacey:''' That’s cool, well I mean, you know you must be happy because of all the endorphins that are running through your body because that happens after exercise. I mean, do you feel more relaxed, because you sound kind of stressed right now. 
'''Chris:''' Aw yeah well, little bit, um [sigh]. I was expecting, I was expecting you to call and then like, you know, you know, you come in as unavailable or restricted you know. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh 
'''Chris:''' There’s been this, this troll, I think this troll is just trying to call me back, you know I’m hearing the beeping like and go figure the damn troll turned out to have been a female troll. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh 
'''Chris:''' I was like I told her, “quit calling me here I’m expecting a call from my girlfriend!” 
'''Kacey:''' WHAT? 
'''Chris:''' I’m sorry, I mean- I mean, it was just a troll. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, you said it as an excuse. Right, right. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway- 
'''Kacey:''' Because I know you don’t think that of me right now because we’re friends. But- 
'''Chris:''' I mean you are a girl and you are my friend 
'''Kacey:''' Right, right 
'''Chris:''' So you are my girl friend. 
'''Kacey:''' [Laughs] 
'''Chris:''' I understand that. Yeah, okay, so anyway then the girl had the nerve to call me back and she said, “Your girlfriend's a blow-up doll.” That’s how then I learned that it was a woman- female troll. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh gosh, did her number come through? 
'''Chris:''' No she was a restricted number. 
'''Kacey:''' Ugh… Well maybe you should get a new phone number, you know, and not give it out to the trolls. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but unfortunately I got this phone number linked up on my resume, and it’s in my Playstation Network account, and a whole lot- 
'''Kacey:''' Well you know you can change all those things, but I understand, I mean yeah that is difficult. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, and my father would tell you the same thing as well you know. He would change the home phone number, but so many things that’s linked to. A lot more than mine, I tell you what. [Sound of door opening] Anyway, aside from that. I here and my father went out within the Burger King at lunch and I didn’t get my walk in at the, around the neighborhood like I would have wanted to beforehand because of that. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Chris:''' I had a side salad, you know usually I go there cause this Burger King gives two Whoppers for three dollars, um I- 
'''Kacey:''' Well when did you wake up? 
'''Chris:''' Probably I got up around 11:30 this morning 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah I guess that’s a little early for you, because normally you wake up around noon (laughs) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, [inaudible] but I expected my father to, like you know, he would want to go out to Burger so I had a bowl of oatmeal- 
'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh 
'''Chris:''' -and then, you know, that got me filled so all I really needed was the side salad, so I spent a dollar on that 
'''Kacey:''' Well oatmeal is supposed to be very filling so I’m surprised you needed a salad after that. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah maybe, this was like an hour or two after I had the oatmeal. 
'''Kacey:''' Wow, I don’t get hungry till, like, much later but- [laughs] 
'''Chris:''' It was just something to munch on anyway. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' You know vegetables are always good for you anyway. Anyway, aside from that I- After we got back home I had to leave right away because, you know…[stuttering] yesterday I went up to Harris Teeter because my mom needed some more water that was on- you know bottles of waters on sale for a dollar or two less than the Food Lion. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' Actually while I was there I looked up your Febreze, because you know, when we were talking I wasn’t sure if you were talking about air freshener or fabric softener. I realized that Febreze does make fabric refresher and I realized that’s what you were talking about. 
'''Kacey:''' Right 
'''Chris:''' So I went over to Target and found that it was on a temporary fifty cent price cut there. So I bought me a bottle of the lavender scented. But then my mom was telling me, “Oh yeah there’s like a bottle of Febreze, there’s like a thing of Febreze in the car”- I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, It thought she was talking about the air freshener. I mean I thought she was talking about the air freshener 
'''Kacey:''' Uh-huh 
'''Chris:''' But then I come home with the lavender scented Febreze fabric refresher but it turns out that was a bottle of fabric refresher too except it was the allergen reducer. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh okay 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Kacey:''' I don’t really like the way that one smells, so- 
'''Chris:''' The allergen reducer 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah, It just doesn’t have- It smells clean but I don’t like it 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Okay, I sampled- smelled the two anyway and uh, I kinda liked the allergen reducer a little better, so I’ll finish that up and I’ll get the lavender scented one, but I needed a few more dollars in my wallet anyway so I ended up returning the lavender scented one. 
'''Kacey:''' Wait, you returned something you already used? 
'''Chris:''' No I didn’t use it, all I had to do was just unscrew the top and smell it 
'''Kacey:''' Hmm… still you opened it and that makes it, that’s just not safe. Either way 
'''Chris:''' Anyway they still took it back and I got my four-something back. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' So I’ll finish up the allergen reducer and then like, you know, I’ll spend the five bucks and get the lavender again. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' Which reminds me, yeah, I need to let you know about my current finances, I just haven’t been able to lately because I was busy. Anyway, yeah, went to Target, returned the Febreze, and then also I ordered something from Goodwill that came with a free gift which is like a three set- set of three kitchen tongs. Couldn’t reuse [inaudible] at the time so I donated them to Goodwill and then I went to Greenbrier Drive from Kim to find the dance studio where the pole dancing class was. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' But I was being held up, and I couldn’t find it. Then you know, I just talked to Kim she told me it’s around Greenbrier Drive. I was like, oh well, I’ll Google it later anyway. I’ll find out for sure where it is. What street address at- 
'''Kacey:''' So why did you buy kitchen tongs are you going to start cooking? 
'''Chris:''' No I did not buy these. These were a free gift. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh 
'''Chris:''' It was like a free supplies 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' So I didn’t expect- 
'''Kacey:''' Maybe you should start cooking. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah. I can and I will, you know, start cooking for myself more often. But you know, one day at a time. I’d like to feel more independent, you know. Get myself a job and maybe move out of the house or whatever, mmm, moving on to what happened today. After I went searching for the dance studio on Greenbrier Drive, then I just moved ahead to the Western [inaudible] building and attended the yoga class. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' I met a new girl- I met a new female friend. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh cool! 
'''Chris:''' We talked a little bit but it’s not like we exchanged phone numbers or email addresses. Her name is Lauren, she’s a UVA student. She’s majoring in, well she’s not sure yet, but she’s taking politics. 
'''Kacey:''' Politics? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Kacey:''' I guess she’s going to be a political science major. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah probably, yeah, I think she said so, yeah she said political science. Yeah there you go you just took the words out of her mouth [laughs] 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah, [laughs] political science majors! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, apparently she attended church the past couple of Sundays as well. So it was like, you know, first time we met so I said, you know, I’ll see you next Sunday in church- there we are. And then, you know, maybe I can get, maybe we’ll share email addresses then. 
'''Kacey:''' You should, I’m surprised you didn’t already. Especially if you think she’s a friend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, like, you know, we just met. 
'''Kacey:''' Still I’ve exchanged email addresses right away 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, Okay, yeah I’ll see about that next time I see her. Either on Sunday or next Wednesday. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay, well hopefully you do see her. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, I learned a lot about the yoga poses. Actually I heard a new meaning, I mean, I’ve heard the expression “open your heart” before, like from the Sonic Adventure. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' But the way the yoga teacher it was like lift up your chest. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' So you know, I have a better understanding of what they mean by open your heart, it’s like keep your chest held high. 
'''Kacey:''' Um, It’s actually supposed to be a metaphor and it’s got a lot of interpretations. Like opening your heart means opening up to someone or being respectful it can be interpreted dozens of ways. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but in terms of the yoga, opening up the heart means lifting your chest and opening it up for the air you’re breathing in 
'''Kacey:''' Well, that doesn’t make sense because your heart doesn’t do your air 
'''Chris:''' Let me put it another way. You’re slouched over and you’re breathing it’s more difficult for the air to get to your lungs and your heart when you’re slouched over. But when you’re straight up in posture then it’s easier for the air to get to your lungs and your heart. 
'''Kacey:''' Um no… What? 
'''Chris:''' Come on, you’re the nurse major you should know that! 
'''Kacey:''' Chris that’s not even remotely true! Just because you’re slouched over doesn’t mean that you can’t get air. 
'''Chris:''' I did not say CAN’T get air, I just said that- 
'''Kacey:''' It doesn’t make it difficult either because your body’s circulatory system takes care of that whether you’re slouched over or not. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, okay while I didn’t- surely you’ve personally, you’re slouched over and your breath but you found that you had to breathe in more because it was like- a longer trip for the air. I’ve felt that 
'''Kacey:''' Chris it’s the same distance no matter what position you’re in, your body doesn’t (exasperated sigh) 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, Okay well, I don’t know, I just learned a little bit more about the expression open your heart. 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, So let’s just leave it at that. 
'''Kacey:''' Right. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. So anyway, I really enjoyed the yoga, but since I’ve been not doing my walking and running like I wanted to I did an hour around the Fashion Square Mall before I went home 
'''Kacey:''' That’s good, just remember you’ve got to get your heart rate up, walking doesn’t help all that much. 
'''Chris:''' I think I did a little power walking in there, so yeah. I’ll get there- I mean, I’ll jog more around the neighborhood at my own pace, you know? 
''''Kacey:''' But if you don’t get your heart rate up to a certain level, you’re not going to lose anything. You really should Google this. You have to push yourself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… I… yeah. Details I have yet to comprehend about that. Anyway also while I was over at the mall I stopped over at the Gamestop to browse around a little bit, and the black cash- the black guy who was working as a cashier there, you know, working at the Gamestop [sound break] square. Yeah, he recognized me. And he’s also friends with a fellow employee, with the guy who works there named Angel. I met him, and he recognized me that Sunday when I gave blood and participated in that Guitar Hero con- Guitar Hero Tournament. He wanted a picture of me and him together, you know, his fellow employee at the time took the picture. It’s a souvenir for him to gloat about, I made his day. The black guy was talking me, yeah, he and Angel were like, “We’re waiting for you to come out with the official Sonichu merchandise, like especially the official Sonichu doll. We’ve seen all this stuff on the internet but we know it’s not official because you say so, and you didn’t official sign off on it or all that.” So you know- 
'''Kacey:''' Well, did you actually give blood? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that Saturday, yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' So somebody is going to have- your blood is going to save somebody’s life. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but also I double redded. Do you know about that double redding in donating blood? 
'''Kacey:''' You double what? 
'''Chris:''' Double red…Red R-E-D. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' Okay well I’ll explain it to you, you can probably Google it and find out more. In addition to them taking a pint, taking some of your blood whole, they take a chunk of your blood to. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, you mean giving plasma 
'''Chris:''' Yeah they took a whole thing of plasma but after that, they have this little machine where they separate the red cells from the plasma and then they give you [sound break] -plasma. Like I said you could Google, and learn more to better understand. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh no, I just know it as giving plasma, that’s fine. 
'''Chris:''' You know, mm’kay. Anyway that’s double red. Two words, you can Google it. It’s a thing that I started probably before that weekend. It’s like, new. 
'''Kacey:''' Well, I’m proud of you for giving blood that’s very noble and stuff, you know? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I’ve donated blood before and that’s how I learned I’m an A negative blood type. 
'''Kacey:''' Yes, A negative 
'''Chris:''' Yeah anyway getting back on today, after talking to that guy, you know, I came home. And after I came home I finally printed out the three copies of the Number Zero Book and three copies of my resume. I’m gonna send them out to Marvel, Archie and Dark Horse Comics. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' And also I’m going to [inaudible] creating all the audiobook videos for Youtube. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay, just remember get those done soon and the pictures. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I’ll [inaudible] more on the sexy drawings, I’ve already got the three girls on drawing reference so from that point all I have to do- on I can do, yeah, sex drawings. Yeah, and then before I upload those drawings I have to make one or two Youtube videos of me playing of me playing Guitar Hero 5 with my female band. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh are you going to upload those to the CWCipedia because you should. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm yeah, Kim encouraged me to do that in a private area, you know. And the sex drawings I’m probably going to put those like in the- You know I have a section of the Fan Art that guidelines what not to submit for consideration in the Fan Art section? 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' I could put the sex drawings there. 
'''Kacey:''' Cool 
'''Chris:''' I put a warning on there, where it’s like you have to be 18 or older to view these. And plus, they’re like drawings, like art pieces I got from the ED Page. 
''''Kacey:''' Okay 
'''Chris:''' Hmm, where was I… Yeah I’ll work more on the drawings tonight, and I’ll get all the audiobooks done tomorrow. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay, well I have a question that’s just going through my mind. Because you told me how much you think I weighed. How much do you think Kim weighs? I just want to see what you think. 
'''Chris:''' How much Kim weighs? I’m not sure, I’d say 175, 150 somewhere between there? 
'''Kacey:''' What did you say again, I’m sorry? 
'''Chris:''' I’d say about 150 to 175 is my guess. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. So I can’t remember how much you say you weigh. Did you weigh yourself recently? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, last time I checked, when I was going in for my quad-check up with my doctor, they had to put me on a scale, just to see how much I weighed and do my blood pressure. But yeah- I’m about, somewhere between 215 and 220. 
'''Kacey:''' Well have you done it recently within the past couple of weeks? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah we don’t have a scale here at home so it’s kind of hard for me to do that. 
'''Kacey:''' Maybe you should go get one, who knows? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Kacey:''' They probably have one at yoga class 
'''Chris:''' Funny, I did not really see a scale at yoga class or one in the closet where the [inaudible] were, so I don’t know. Mmm. So I just told you my blood type, do you know what your blood type is? 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah it’s A positive. 
'''Chris:''' Wow, we’re so close, we’re both A’s 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah, A is a pretty popular bloodtype 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s not, I mean it’s not- wait a minute. Are the A’s common or uncommon? 
'''Kacey:''' A is pretty common. AB and O are fairly uncommon. It’s A, then B, then O and then AB. 
'''Chris:''' So it’s A, then B, then O, then AB 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah 
'''Chris:''' SO between A positive and A negative is there just an A? 
'''Kacey:''' No it’s A negative and A positive, it has to do with the antigens 
'''Chris:''' The antigens? 
'''Kacey:''' Yes 
'''Chris:''' Okay that’s a new word to me. 
'''Kacey:''' Well you should probably look it up, it’s all in blood type. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah okay. Antigens. Is that like, I’m gonna spell it how it sounds, is that spelled A-N-T-O-G-E-N 
'''Kacey:''' What? It’s A-N-T-I-G-E-N 
'''Chris:''' Oh, A-N, oh Antigen, antigen, ok. So A is for Antigen, what’s B and O? 
'''Kacey:''' What? No everything has antigens except for type O 
'''Chris:''' Okay so type B has antigen in it as well 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah they have the B an- you just have to look it up 
'''Chris:''' Yeah okay, it’s very interesting 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah, blood is very interesting 
'''Chris:''' Let me ask you, why is it a bad idea to mix blood types, like if you put B or O in an A positive or A negative person. 
'''Kacey:''' Okay O is the universal donor, so they can give to anyone because they don’t have antigens. AB can receive anyone because they have both A and B antigens. If you take the wrong antigen and put it in someone’s blood stream, they will die because their body will attack itself. So if you put A antigens in a B bloodtype, they’re going to kill each other and then you die. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, okay so AB and O are neutral. 
'''Kacey:''' No, O is neutral it has no antigens, it is the universal donor so anyone can take O blood. AB is the universal receiver so they can take anyone’s blood because they have all the antigens 
'''Chris:''' OK so AB is the universal receiver, okay 
'''Kacey:''' Yes 
'''Chris:''' Wow, A and B it’s like those are opposite types, huh. 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah people with O, even though they can give to anyone they can only have O blood, but AB can take anyone’s blood. 
'''Chris:''' Which is more rare, AB or O 
'''Kacey:''' AB usually, because it’s got both the of them, but it’s by a small margin. 
'''Chris:''' Huh, I see. Is blood type- I’m sure blood types are genetic aren’t they? 
'''Kacey:''' Of course almost everything is genetic. Actually blood type is very important in cultures, not so much of ours, but in other cultures they use blood type to determine personalities and for match-making, it’s kind of outdated but they still do that. 
Chris: Yeah I think we talked about that in a previous conversation about personality traits in comparison to blood types, and then, yeah, I can Google that as well. 
'''Kacey:''' Right 
'''Chris:''' Yeah we talked about that before. 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah [laughs] 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm, well okay, let me ask you though, A positive and A negative would you say those are opposing, opposite of each other. If you put A negative in the A plus- A positive and they die? 
'''Kacey:''' What? 
'''Chris:''' If you put A negative blood in an A positive person will the A positive person- 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah you can’t mix that, you don’t want to. 
Chris: Oh, okay. I get it, cool. 
Kacey: Well, anything else on your mind? 
Chris: Let me think. Oh yeah, I asked my mom earlier today why she thinks that I often blank out or I’m often confused. 
Kacey: Uh huh 
Chris: She theorizes it’s because I’m a creative genius. You know, I’m a very creative guy, and I have so many creative thoughts coming in and out and they differ from what’s currently in my mind and- 
Kacey: Well I’m really creative and I don’t blank out. I’m serious when I say there’s a serious, serious thing that could be wrong with you. You blanking out like that, It could be you’re not getting adequate nutrition, it could mean you’re dehydrated. It could mean you could have something wrong seriously like a tumor or something. 
Chris: Mmm, I don’t know it’s a theory my mom had, but anyway point was, so many creative thoughts pretty much derails my train of thought and puts me in a blank state or confusion. That’s just from my mom’s point of view and how she understands it, something like that. 
Kacey: I don’t know. That just doesn’t make sense to me. 
Chris: Okay, say you want to remember something from like, yeah from like ten conversations ago, but then you try to remember, but it’s like it’s hard for you to remember because of all your incoming creative ideas at the time, or- 
Kacey: The brain doesn’t work that way. 
Chris: Come on, memory in the brain is like random access memory just like in any computer, it’s random. 
Kacey: No it’s not. No, no, no, no 
Chris: Did you voice just get deep there? 
Kacey: Sorry I covered my mouth with my hands 
Chris: Well it could be just- 
Kacey: It was just my voice echoing through my hands, that’s all it was. 
Chris: Okay 
Kacey: I mean yes, there have been comparisons to the brain being like a computer, but it’s not like that. It’s not like a switchboard where things can get plugged up or anything. There are so many places in your brain that have to do with memory, I just don’t even know how to explain this. 
Chris: Okay, well you’re probably right, it could be the nutrition thing, but I’m drinking water more, nowadays and I’m getting on track [inaudible] vegetation and having a more healthy lifestyle and my daily exercise regimen so I’ll probably get better on that. 
Kacey: You should actually talk to your doctor about it, because if you are suffering from poor nutrition they can give you tests. You really should look into that. 
Chris: Okay, well I’ll be sure to- 
Kacey: Maybe you have an iron deficiency, you should totally ask. 
Chris: Yeah well before my check-up I usually go in a little earlier and give a little blood for blood work so they would know at that point. SO they would know at that point. So I’ll be sure to talk to my doctor about that. 
Kacey: Okay that’s good. 
Chris: Alright 
Kacey: Okay, well anything else? 
Chris: Yeah, the current money I spent on so far this month I will definitely know about that, I promise, I’ll send you a message. 
Kacey: Okay cool, thanks 
Chris: I do want to tell you that, but I’m not [inaudible] bank account number or anything like that [laughs] 
Kacey: Okay [laughs] 
Chris: Yeah but anyway, Oh shoot I had another thought in my head… [mumbles] What I spent on so far this month, shoot I lost the other thought… hmmm, oh well. Hmm, what else is on your mind? 
Kacey: Just, you know, all my tests and all my projects and stuff. I really don’t have anything else. 
Chris: Learn anything new today? 
Kacey: We just went over some of the projects, we didn’t go over anything I didn’t already know, so I’m good. We’re still in review. 
Chris: Your project’s like, essays. 
Kacey: No I have a five page paper that’s for Anthropology, and I have to get people to take these surveys and then I have to cross reference everything by state, region, nationwide and worldwide. So it’s going to be a really easy paper, it’s just the research that’s going to get me. 
Chris: Hmmm, survey huh? You know, I can probably take that if you email me the questions on your survey. 
Kacey: Okay, I totally can. 
Chris: I’d be happy to help you with that. 
Kacey: Okay, I will totally do that. 
Chris: Just type in the email or type it in a Microsoft Word file and I will download it and open it up on my Microsoft Word. 
Kacey: Okay 
Chris: And then I’ll put the answers on the Word file and add my name to it, or I can put it in an email reply, the answers. 
Kacey: Okay, that’d be cool. 
Chris: Oh, I just remembered the other thought. I thought about more, about the five hundred word minimum essay I was gonna do for you about Autism, I thought about what I could do for that. 
Kacey: Mmhmm 
Chris: I thought about just refreshing myself on the characteristics of a person with Autism, you know like on Autism.org that’s a good place to go, or look it up on Wikipedia. And comparing it to my actual, real life experiences, you know, how I have exhibited some of those characteristics, and also, you know how I got better from that later on in life. 
Kacey: Okay 
Chris: Yeah, I’m just thinking, like you know, I’m thinking good for you there. Because I like to help out. 
Kacey: Aw, thank you. 
Chris: Okay 
Kacey: Well, I’ve got to go to bed, because I’ve got class in the morning, so let me go ahead and let you go and I will talk to you tomorrow. 
Chris: Alright sweet dreams 
Kacey: Okay, alright bye 
Chris: Alright, Bye-bye. 
[call ends]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 11]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 13]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 11

2014-05-23T05:55:58Z

Export A:

*[[Chris]] got an email saying [[Target]] was not going to hire him.
*Chris has 10 dollars in the bank but he's going to start saving!
*[[Kacey]] offers to coach Chris and help him save money.
*Talking about walking and working out.
*Chris volunteers to give Kacey a Q&A about [[autism]] for her Abnormal Psychology class. Kacey asks him for info right now about autism. Chris says that he'll only do it if the maximum is 500 words.
*Kacey asks if Chris ever uploaded essays from [[High School]] to [[CWCipedia]], he says he hasn't found them yet.
*Chris tries to push a relationship on her, but she turns him off right away.
*Chris is going to take a yoga class. He heard about yoga from ''[[Wii]] Fit''.
*Chris says the last workout he had was standing on one leg for an ENTIRE ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' song!
*Chris is comparing ''Rock Band'' [[guitar]]s to ''Guitar Hero'' guitars. Kacey says she likes real guitars and likes it when guys write songs for her. Chris says he could play ''Guitar Hero'' for her, and he can write a song in ''Guitar Hero'' for her. Kacey isn't impressed and Chris doesn't understand the difference between the two.
*"I can be just as good in ''Guitar Hero'' as a real guitar."
*Chris walks around the mall for exercise. Five whole laps!
*Chris complains about the lack of male bras at J.C. Penny.
*Chris didn't realize you can wash bras, thought you had to throw them away after every three days of use.
*Kacey suggests for Chris to spray his bras with febreze. Kacey recommends lavender.
*Kacey says that she mixes her perfumes to smell better. Chris compares this to mixing food together at Country Cookin'.
*Chris says he was reading [[Playboy]] earlier and they had a ''[[Family Guy]]'' article.
*'''Chris complains that ''Family Guy'' was canceled originally because [[9/11]] distracted people from the show.'''
*Chris is upset to find out that Stewie is gay.
*Chris admits to reading ''Playgirl'' once.
*Kacey was uncomfortable with the subject, so they stopped talking about ''Playboy''/''Playgirl''.
*Kim convinced Chris to watch the news more often.
*Chris claims he is drawing more [[Sonichu]].
*Kacey says that she is excited for [[Vivian]]'s next audiobook. Chris gets stressed out.
*Kacey suggests to Chris to make his own audiobooks if he doesn't like Vivian's version.
*Chris talks about how he can't trust Vivian due to [[Clyde Cash]] being related. Chris complains about Clyde for a while, but then says that Clyde is dead now so it's okay. Chris says he is glad that Clyde is dead.
*Chris says that he never read [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian's book]], and he gave it to [[Rocky]] instead.
*Chris is looking for new jobs. He says he can make 980 dollars a month without losing the tugboat.
*Chris is trying to get a discount at the gym by talking to his doctor.
*'''Chris sent a letter to his doctor about his [[penis]]. Letter included asking about if his penis being bent was okay, how to straighten it out, and trying to get penis enlarging medication.'''
*Chris asks Kacey how big Liquid's penis is. Kacey starts laughing really hard, and then says that it's 9 inches, thick, and it would hurt sometimes. Chris is amazed and sounds depressed and talks about how small his penis is.
*Chris is upset that Kacey said that she enjoyed [[Liquid]]'s cock.
*Chris admits that he is taking penis enlargement medication, and starts describing his cock in detail to Kacey.
*Kacey says she has to go, unless Chris has any more questions about Liquid's cock. Chris says no, and the call ends.

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 11
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|VYsWEeXrxSk}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 10]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 12]]
}} </Center>

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris! It’s Kacey, how are ya? 
'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm good, how are you? 
'''Kacey:''' Ah-I'm good. You know, just really busy with school and work. 
'''Chris:''' ...yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' Y'know, gotta make that money! Gotta save it up-up. (''Sound glitch'') 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I will be saving up my self, y'know, after I get my- after I get one- after I get mah joooooooob, you know. Even though I, ah, received an e-mail from target saying they're not gonna hire me, because y'know, they got- they got enough people as it is right now. I'm sure they'll keep my, ah, file on record, until they find an opening. 
'''Kacey:''' Nolikeyeah, I think they do that, um, I think it's, uh, it's easier every 30 days or 3 months, it depends on the company. (''beat, Kacey continues at the same moment Chris tries to start'') So, speaking of money, are you doing OK, curbing your spending? 
'''Chris:''' (''grunt/sigh'') Yeah, I'm turning out ok. Yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' ...Uhm. I mean, you know, I'm really worried about that because, I mean, you know, wif what you've told me about how much you spend on videogames and everything, uhm, are you buying anything from the, you know, all that stuff right now, like any games, do you have any plans? 
'''Chris:''' Ahh, yeah, I have no plans right now, so I'm not expecting to buy anything at the... for.. for a while. I've got money- I got like about, ten- I've got like 'bout 10 bucks in the bank right now. I can always- I can- I can always deposit it. 
'''Kacey:''' Well, um, you know, I think I've been to harsh on you, so I want to help you, uhm, do you think, maybe, uhm, I can help coach you with these things, like, you know, like, maybe you could forward me, like, what you spend, like- we'd just start something small like the Play Station network, or something. Like, and I can coach you, I-I'm really sorry, I think I was too harsh on you. 
'''Chris:''' (''chirps happily'') Hmm. Okay, that sounds good. [''unintelligible''] Yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, awesome. Yeah, it's my way of an apology. 
'''Chris:''' It's okay, I mean, you don't have to apologize uh I mean you acted the way you did because you felt like you had to. 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah but [Chris talks over her] just forward me whatever purchases you make and um I will definitely help you. I'm happy you appreciate that. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah I'll [unintelligible] 
'''Kacey:''' Okay. 
'''Chris:''' Uh and my - I was doing a lot of walking today and lap - I did a lot of laps around the neighborhood. Instead of taking the easier counter-clockwise route around the uh 'hood I went clockwise and actually powerwalked the steep incline we have here. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh nice. How much is a lap for you. Is it like a mile or something? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I'm not sure what the distance is. I could probably measure it in my car. Uh of course I'm counting also going into the uh the little courtyard- the little courts y'know. It's like y'know the court. The into the. I'm actually going into those- 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' Courts. Up and down them. 
'''Kacey:''' Well did you run or jog the whole time cause remember you just gotta get that heartrate up. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. I powerwalked. Today I powerwalked but yesterday I did some jogging in there as well. 
'''Kacey:''' I think you should look up how to get your heart rate up and where your heart rate should be. Because you just can't walk and I'm not there to show you obviously because I've got so much going with school but um if you Google it that should be awesome. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. Well let me ask you though. I thought of this question earlier. Uh yeah you're studying to be a nurse. Do you have to take any psychological type classes like y'know like any classes like a psychiatrist would have to take? 
'''Kacey:''' Oh of course. Um I'm actually in um 2nd Level Human Growth and Development this semester. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. 
'''Kacey:''' I mean a lot of it overlaps I mean I'll be taking Abnormal Psyche next semester. 
'''Chris:''' A normal... psyche class? 
'''Kacey:''' Abnormal? Like not normal. Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Oh abnormal. Okay. Yeah well I have- I'll tell you what if you get to the part where they talk about Autism I could give you some- some information on that and probably help you with any essays you have to write or whatever. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh yeah. That would be interesting. Y'know get a little perspective maybe I'll get some extra credit. 
'''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah you know I mean it's too bad we couldn't plan the uh trips of you coming over here with your hanging out y'know between Labor Day weekend. 
'''Kacey:''' I know, I know. 
'''Chris:''' I mean- 
'''Kacey:''' I had to work all day so I mean but hey- making that money. But back to what you said about helping me with class. You can start whenever because even though I'm taking it next semsester that way I'll be prepared I mean. Why don't you describe Autism to me? You know give me a feel for it. 
'''Chris:''' Alright. I'll have to give it some thought but I'll have - write you a uh minimum 100 maximum 500 word essay about it. 
 '''Chris:''' ...That
 '''Kacey:''' Okay cool
 '''Chris:''' Of course you definitely can with a multi-pack, you know,3 packs for like 10 dollars. Least there-least there still-one o- still one over here still sells them for that price, 3 for 10
 '''Kacey:''' Oh I mean, uh, wash them
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' You don't have to buy tons of them, you could just wash them. Like, I mean, unless you're doing it for style there's no reason to have a lot of them
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I currently have-I currently have 6, but I understand from my mom that I could wear uh, bra 3 underwear-a bra or underwear for 3 days, then switch over to the new ones
 '''Kacey:''' Well um also, with those things I know you've never used them before but you need to, you know, let them air out every night and um you know, um, I at [Chris: y-yeah] least rinse mine with you know a little bit of spray cleanser. You know maybe some febreeze, maybe, anything. But I mean I also wear perfume and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Okay so wait a minute, uh, spray what with febreeze?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, use some febreeze. That would work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah so wait a minute, you're talking about spraying the bra with febreeze?
 '''Kacey:''' Of course, you don't put that on your skin
 '''Chris:''' [laugh] Okay I just wanted to make sure I understood...mmkay febreeze. Yeah okay well I'm not sure we have any febreeze in the bathroom, but you know next chance I get I will definitely get some febreeze.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cool. Awesome. Like they have different scents now that smell really good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, what do you recommend, personally?
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] I like the lavender one, I love that one the most. It's one of the purple ones. There's a spring one and then there's a lavender one.
 '''Chris:''' I like lavender scent.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh cool.
 '''Chris:''' I have smelled lavender before and it does smell good.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' 'kay...that's good. 't's very good. We've found some common ground there, we both like lavender
 '''Kacey:''' [little laugh] It's not my favorite but it is one of them
 '''Chris:''' mmkay, one of them. Okay what is your top favorite scent?
 '''Kacey:''' Um...Probably...Either like a sandalwood amber thing, or vanilla.
 '''Chris:''' Vanilla is-vanilla is good. What's the other one you said, sandal with amber?
 '''Kacey:''' Sandalwood with amber.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. An-An. I'm sorry, andalwood?
 '''Kacey:''' Sandalwood.
 '''Chris:''' Oh okay
 '''Kacey:''' You know like sandals you wear on your feet? Yeah
 '''Chris:''' Ohhh, sandalwood, yeah okay. Sandalwood with amber. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I actually, um I have lots of different perfumes and I mix them and I layer them, but I make sure their scents all correspond.
 '''Chris:''' Wow you uh, you mix your own perfumes. [little laugh]
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' That's pretty-that's-that's very good, I mean uh...
 '''Kacey:''' That way when one wears off I've got another thing, it's really nice. But I mean men don't wear perfume, they wear like cologne and body spray and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah...(???)-mix things up I often like to uh mix things up-I often like to, uh, mix things up, like, you know, if I'm at my country club ??? golden corral, I-I sometimes like to mix things and, you know, mix food togeth-mix different foods-like y'know like a different combination of vegtables.Ok- Or, y'know, aside from a side but I mean like you know, maybe green beans, and corn, and cook-cooked carrots, whatever. Whatever they have there. Or you know, here's a fun-Here's a fun thing you could try: Mixing any-mixing-mixing any cooked vegtables in mashed potatoes.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I don't really like to mix my food. I'm just like that. I don't like cooked carrots either I think they're gross. I mean but I mean it's not the same as mixing.???-but I see what you're getting from. Like, um, I-I know people who do that all the time, but you know, I like to eat all my stuff individually. Unless it DOES go together.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear ya, that's good. Mmm. Mmkay. Okay, Well you know, just wanted to let you know, I was just reading an article about Seth MacFarlane, in, uh, this month's Playboy. You know, just talking about, uh, Fam- Just talking about Family Guy you know. You know ??? about-about ten years ago since it first aired just after Superbowl 33? And Seth MacFarlane just calls that ga-ns calls that-call that game boring.
 '''Kacey:''' [Sounds bored] Oh, really.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. He just calls the game boring, but, you know, and then it just-[mutters, as though reading off notecards]ah shoot, I mean, whaddya say about f-Family Guy and um...yeah I haven't s-well maybe I was just ??? but yeah [stops muttering] Yeah, he was prepped on the show-on the show was gonna be huge, and then...and then apparently had gotten huge numbers are

 '''Kacey:''' Well, when you finish a comic, I can't wait for the audiobook version, I think they're funny.
 '''Chris:''' ...You mean Vivian's audiobooks?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! I love those, I'm so glad you showed them to me.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Stress pause]'' Yeah, I never authorized those audiobooks.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think she did a great job. I think you should thank her, I mean, they're AWESOME.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' And it's like free publicity.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah... Ahhh, but still, so many things she's done against me.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what? I mean, I didn't see anything bad.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well how about that folder of her art I sent ya... The, uh, few comic pages where she mocked about me and my sw- My early days in my Sweetheart Search, like you know... You know, it's-
 '''Kacey:''' It's a parody, if you're gonna be famous you're gonna get parodies. I think it's great to go ahead and get them out of the way.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, still you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Just because somebody does a parody, doesn't mean that they hate you or anything, it's just, you know, it's publicity, come on. You've got to laugh at these things or else you're never gonna make it.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Okay-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's flattering. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Okay but you know I'm talking about the, uh, ones where she's got the Misdreavus in there with her. The Pokemon-
 '''Kacey:''' Still. You should just go with it, and be like "thank you for the free publicity". This is your show, so run it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, "this is my show so want it"?
 '''Kacey:''' So RUN it. Run it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, it opens it up to more people. I mean if you don't want her to do it, you should make your own audiobooks. You should narrate them yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. I thought about that, but it's like you know... I'd ra- I'd rather actually have a- My- A woman to read the, uh, Rosechu parts. But unfortunately I don't have a-
 '''Kacey:''' I'd be happy to help. I can give you recordings.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Silence]''
 '''Kacey:''' But you know I'm really busy so I probably wouldn't be able to for a long, long time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Okay, well I appreciate the offer. And I'll think about dat furder. But I think- But I was hoping, like you know, I could actually let my sweetheart do it, but like, unfortunately I just been having... the, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh then I think you should wait, that's a good idea.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, it's... Still so much- Still a lot for me- Still a lot of things for me to think. Umm... Yeah, but also, uh, cuz also, I think I have informed you about Vivian Gee being Clyde Cash's cousin.
 '''Kacey:''' But that doesn't mean anything.
 '''Chris:''' Clyde Cash was a major troll.
 '''Kacey:''' But, that doesn't mean SHE is.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Okay. But still you know, Clyde Cash, he was also the one- He was also the first guy that actually got into my- That actually hacked into my original hosting account on Tripod. And then the following one on-
 '''Kacey:''' How did he do it?
 '''Chris:''' He tried to... to turn the- turn the website around and make it look- make it look like- make it mock ME. He-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean how did he figure out your passwords and logins and stuff, did he hack it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' How did he hack it?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed]'' I don't know how he hacked it.
 '''Kacey:''' Did you use an easy-to-guess password?
 '''Chris:''' No, I did not use an easy password. I don't even remember what the password was, now.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but anyways, then I- then I tried to like- then I tried using [[Yahoo!]]... I think it was. Or maybe it was something else I don't know, but anyway then he got in- But then he hacked into that as well, even on Godaddy- Even on my last attempt at- Even on the last attempt at on Godaddy dot com being the web host, he got into that as well. And then I-
 '''Kacey:''' Wow, he sounds very talented!
 '''Chris:''' Ugh... But anyway, you know, I- Anyway, after I got my Godaddy account back I just basically pulled the plug on the- Pulled the plug on the whole Sonichu site thing. And then supposedly he ki- And then, supposedly he killed himself. So I just assumed-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...
 '''Chris:''' I just assumed that he's been dead for da few months. I think I sent you Vivian's ad- I think I sent you Vivian's address, if you wanna talk to her and verify.
 '''Kacey:''' That's... That's, um... I don't know what to say about that.
 '''Chris:''' Well you know, you could think- You know, no rush, you could think about dat furder. Um... Shoot, what was I gonna say- Oh yeah, yeah I just assumed that- I just, uh, assumed that he's been dead the whole time and GLAD that he's been dead.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh...
 '''Chris:''' Even Vivian- Even- Even Vivian agreed about- Even agreed on him being dead.
 '''Kacey:''' Then I guess he is, or... I don't know.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a really bad topic.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It was a bad topic. But you know, I mean like you know, I had to recall cuz you know...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's so sad when someone kills themselves.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it was just- It was just to verify the whole troll- The trolling situation there. From him, and... You know and also like you know, Vivian did write a book and she sent me a copy of it. I think it was called "Da Girl who Ruled Da World". Uhhh, don't tell Vivian, but I never actually read the book. Even though I told- Even though I told her- Even though I lied to her and told her that I read it.
 '''Kacey:''' You shouldn't lie, that's horrible! What if it's a really good book, I mean didn't we talking about this before? Why would you do that?
 '''Chris:''' Hm... It was like, uh, tryin'... I was like, I dunno. I don't remember. It was in the conversation, we were just talkin', and then you know... Yeah, I just- I just did not feel comfortable with saying like, you know, "Oh, I haven't read it", and den she would be encouraging me to read it, but anyway, then anyway- Uh, currently the uh, book is on loan to Rocky, she hasn't given it back to me yet, and she's just had an appendix operation. She's read, uh, she's read, uh, a whole chunk of da book, and it's mostly mockery- mockery against me anyway. Mockery against me and my Sonichu characters.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, like I said, it's probably just free publicity. So, I think I mentioned before I wanted to read it, but you should read it first. You have to read it before you judge it, I'm pretty sure we talked about this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah we're talkin' about- We're talkin' about Vivian's book, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah after I get it back from Rocky I'll be sure to read it.
 '''Kacey:''' You should probably get it back very soon.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. M'kay. Alright, so... Yeah, you did not have any classes today, so you just had work?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. I worked and studied.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, that's good, did you have a good- You had a good day, I guess?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it was work, you know, so... I just worked.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Puttin' a little more bread on your own table for yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm.
 '''Chris:''' Very commendable.
 '''Kacey:''' So uh, how's your job search going besides, uh... besides Target?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got another application to uh, go back online and fill in. But... But yeah, you know, at least I'm making- But yeah, you know, I'm making progress. Eventually, I'll get- Eventually... You know, I'll get da message saying like you know, "Yeah you're hired, come in for the in- or, come in for the interview".
 '''Kacey:''' Hm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, call in and ask.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' You know, make sure they got the application.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's a good idea, okay. Yeah. Alright I will do that, I will make calls and find out for certain.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you know, show them you're interested.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Especially- Especially since I know well- I know very well that I can make 980 dollars a month without it affecting my Social.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you're pretty lucky.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Oh by the way, uh... Yeah I'll let you know- I'll probably let you- I'll probably let you know about this- I wrote up my list of questions to, uh, my Doctor McGovern... Uh, you know, things that uh, you and me and Kim, we talked about a little bit. Um, I wrote 'em out in a letter but unfortunately I was gonna deliver it today, but the office was closed for Labor Day, so...
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, considering my next- Considering my next trip downtown would be Wednesday for the yoga session, I'll drop it off on Wednesday.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh cool, are you gonna send me the questions?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, sure, I'll get- I dunno, would you like me to?
 '''Kacey:''' Um... Sure, why not?
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Kacey:''' I just thought that was why you mentioned it.
 '''Chris:''' Well, no, I mean- I just- I'm just bringin' it up as like, you know, just... You know, just lettin' you know that I'm gonna be inquiring about all that with- with my doctor, sure. Anyway let me- Anyway, I- Anyway... Anyway, basically currently it's five questions, uh... First one is about the, uh, gym membership discount.
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm...
 '''Chris:''' And then the second one's a question about, uh, whether I should get back on the Paroxetine or not. But I mean, I don't- I mean, I think I've been okay with- Off- Off it, you know. I feel like I've been better, but it's like, uhh... I felt more- I feel a little bit more vulnerable to stress, but with uh, practicing the stress ma- More- With more practicing the uh, stress management techniques, I feel like I'm about starting to regain emotional control over dat.
 '''Kacey:''' So that was your anti-depressant?
 '''Chris:''' The, uh, Paxil originally, but then I switched over to Paroxetine... Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well I mean, are you not taking it anymore, 'cause I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I have not been taking it for a month.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean if you're so stressed all the time then maybe you should. I mean, that should be up to your doctor, you should ask him that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright... And then I asked- And then I asked him further about the uh, Lipitor... You know... Uh... I don't remember da question, I've already sealed the envelope. And it was just- It was just- And I have it on my- I have it- I have it on my bed in front of me, and... Hm. I guess I could- I guess I- I guess I can rip it open and send you the questions, anyway. But I'm just lettin' you know in a nutshell.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' And then like you know- And then the fourth and fifth questions are about my, uh, penis. Number four being about like you know, whether it should be level, or- or- Or, you know, if bent is normal. Or if like you know, if there's a way of straightening it- Of leveling it out. And then the second question is about like you know, getting a prescription to a penis extension medication pill... That sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Awkward pause]'' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. ''[Another awkward pause, as Chris prepares to ask what he's always wanted to ask]'' Ahh... Okay, I'll just go ahead and get it out of the way - How BIG was Chris's penis?
 '''Kacey:''' WHAT??!? What??
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I just- I asked you- I just asked you, how big was Chris's penis?
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Laughing]'' That's a really odd question for you to ask me... Um, but I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you, It was definitely, um, a little around nine inches.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, now I- Okay, shh... I mean, REALLY? Nine inches??
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah... You know, sometimes it hurt, but you know, it was good, and it was thick.
 '''Chris:''' Shoot, mine only gets, like, six to seven inches...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Laughing]'' I'm sorry, it's just a weird question...
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I just felt like I had to know.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... Okay... Why do you need to know? I mean, I thought you weren't interested in other people's penises, but just tell me, why'd you need to know?
 '''Chris:''' I mean like, who was the, uh... Supposed- In that sense, who was the bigger man, there.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I guess he won that. But I just- I don't- Okay... I mean, it was just nine, thick, and straight. It was there...
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well like, you know, while I'm feeling discomfort in that...
 '''Kacey:''' You're the one who asked about how he rocked my world with it!
 '''Chris:''' Well I did not- I did not necessarily ask how he rocked your world with it, I was just asking how big it was.
 '''Kacey:''' I- Well, I mean, come on... I mean you opened that up.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but it's like you know... Alright I just pretty much established this with Kim, but... I definitely have an insecurity... And- And that's one of my insecurities, like you know, in comparison to other guys... Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So you don't like other people's penises, but you want to hear about them so you can compare yourself to them?
 '''Chris:''' No I-
 '''Kacey:''' I don't do that with, like, women's breasts.
 '''Chris:''' No actually this is the first time I've asked that question, but it's like you know I just felt like I had to know.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, well, I mean, why?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, cuz it's like, you know, I'm def- It just makes me think that like, you know- I have been con- I have been on and off and on about like, you know, increasing the size of mine... But I- And then, it's just like you know, I wasn't sure if the, uh, till- It- I- I mean... For about two separate months, I had been, uh, had taken Extenze. But yeah I just hadn't- I just hadn't seen a big difference. Except for like, you know, just aft- Just after taking it, it definitely showed a maximum of seven inches. Erect. Oh by the way I- By the way, actually measuring it, it's like four inches limp.
 '''Kacey:''' ...Okay. I don't know... Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I just thought the only way to make a big difference is to actually get surgery, but...
 '''Chris:''' I mean haven't you- I mean haven't you seen the, uh- I mean surely- Surely you've heard of the penis extension pills.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I thought they weren't supposed to work. I mean, most of them aren't even approved by the FDA and stuff. But I mean, they also say that losing weight helps, they say uh... Every 20 or 30 pounds of fat that you take away, an inch comes back. I don't know if that's true or not, that's probably a rumor.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it does sound like a rumor.
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, no harm in trying, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... At least I'm starting a daily regimen of exercising. And I'm taking the appropriate steps and I'm losing my Buddha Belly...
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, I'd just hate to end our conversation- End our conversation on such a note, cuz you know, my mind's running- My mind's running blank right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well um... I'll go ahead and talk to you, I guess, tomorrow. Unless you wanna ask any more questions about Chris's penis, I guess. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' I'm not gonna ask any more questions that. ''[Laughs]'' Okay. Alright, well I- Okay, well yeah, good laugh, good laugh, that's a way to end a good- end a conversation well. Okay. Alright well, I'll let you go and I'll talk to you tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, alright, bye.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah alright, bye-bye.


==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 10]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 12]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 11

2014-05-23T05:53:15Z

Export A:

*[[Chris]] got an email saying [[Target]] was not going to hire him.
*Chris has 10 dollars in the bank but he's going to start saving!
*[[Kacey]] offers to coach Chris and help him save money.
*Talking about walking and working out.
*Chris volunteers to give Kacey a Q&A about [[autism]] for her Abnormal Psychology class. Kacey asks him for info right now about autism. Chris says that he'll only do it if the maximum is 500 words.
*Kacey asks if Chris ever uploaded essays from [[High School]] to [[CWCipedia]], he says he hasn't found them yet.
*Chris tries to push a relationship on her, but she turns him off right away.
*Chris is going to take a yoga class. He heard about yoga from ''[[Wii]] Fit''.
*Chris says the last workout he had was standing on one leg for an ENTIRE ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' song!
*Chris is comparing ''Rock Band'' [[guitar]]s to ''Guitar Hero'' guitars. Kacey says she likes real guitars and likes it when guys write songs for her. Chris says he could play ''Guitar Hero'' for her, and he can write a song in ''Guitar Hero'' for her. Kacey isn't impressed and Chris doesn't understand the difference between the two.
*"I can be just as good in ''Guitar Hero'' as a real guitar."
*Chris walks around the mall for exercise. Five whole laps!
*Chris complains about the lack of male bras at J.C. Penny.
*Chris didn't realize you can wash bras, thought you had to throw them away after every three days of use.
*Kacey suggests for Chris to spray his bras with febreze. Kacey recommends lavender.
*Kacey says that she mixes her perfumes to smell better. Chris compares this to mixing food together at Country Cookin'.
*Chris says he was reading [[Playboy]] earlier and they had a ''[[Family Guy]]'' article.
*'''Chris complains that ''Family Guy'' was canceled originally because [[9/11]] distracted people from the show.'''
*Chris is upset to find out that Stewie is gay.
*Chris admits to reading ''Playgirl'' once.
*Kacey was uncomfortable with the subject, so they stopped talking about ''Playboy''/''Playgirl''.
*Kim convinced Chris to watch the news more often.
*Chris claims he is drawing more [[Sonichu]].
*Kacey says that she is excited for [[Vivian]]'s next audiobook. Chris gets stressed out.
*Kacey suggests to Chris to make his own audiobooks if he doesn't like Vivian's version.
*Chris talks about how he can't trust Vivian due to [[Clyde Cash]] being related. Chris complains about Clyde for a while, but then says that Clyde is dead now so it's okay. Chris says he is glad that Clyde is dead.
*Chris says that he never read [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian's book]], and he gave it to [[Rocky]] instead.
*Chris is looking for new jobs. He says he can make 980 dollars a month without losing the tugboat.
*Chris is trying to get a discount at the gym by talking to his doctor.
*'''Chris sent a letter to his doctor about his [[penis]]. Letter included asking about if his penis being bent was okay, how to straighten it out, and trying to get penis enlarging medication.'''
*Chris asks Kacey how big Liquid's penis is. Kacey starts laughing really hard, and then says that it's 9 inches, thick, and it would hurt sometimes. Chris is amazed and sounds depressed and talks about how small his penis is.
*Chris is upset that Kacey said that she enjoyed [[Liquid]]'s cock.
*Chris admits that he is taking penis enlargement medication, and starts describing his cock in detail to Kacey.
*Kacey says she has to go, unless Chris has any more questions about Liquid's cock. Chris says no, and the call ends.

==Video==

<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 11
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|VYsWEeXrxSk}}
| Stardate = ???
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 10]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 12]]
}} </Center>

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris! It’s Kacey, how are ya? 
'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, I'm good, how are you? 
'''Kacey:''' Ah-I'm good. You know, just really busy with school and work. 
'''Chris:''' ...yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' Y'know, gotta make that money! Gotta save it up-up. (''Sound glitch'') 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I will be saving up my self, y'know, after I get my- after I get one- after I get mah joooooooob, you know. Even though I, ah, received an e-mail from target saying they're not gonna hire me, because y'know, they got- they got enough people as it is right now. I'm sure they'll keep my, ah, file on record, until they find an opening. 
'''Kacey:''' Nolikeyeah, I think they do that, um, I think it's, uh, it's easier every 30 days or 3 months, it depends on the company. (''beat, Kacey continues at the same moment Chris tries to start'') So, speaking of money, are you doing OK, curbing your spending? 
'''Chris:''' (''grunt/sigh'') Yeah, I'm turning out ok. Yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' ...Uhm. I mean, you know, I'm really worried about that because, I mean, you know, wif what you've told me about how much you spend on videogames and everything, uhm, are you buying anything from the, you know, all that stuff right now, like any games, do you have any plans? 
'''Chris:''' Ahh, yeah, I have no plans right now, so I'm not expecting to buy anything at the... for.. for a while. I've got money- I got like about, ten- I've got like 'bout 10 bucks in the bank right now. I can always- I can- I can always deposit it. 
'''Kacey:''' Well, um, you know, I think I've been to harsh on you, so I want to help you, uhm, do you think, maybe, uhm, I can help coach you with these things, like, you know, like, maybe you could forward me, like, what you spend, like- we'd just start something small like the Play Station network, or something. Like, and I can coach you, I-I'm really sorry, I think I was too harsh on you. 
'''Chris:''' (''chirps happily'') Hmm. Okay, that sounds good. [''unintelligible''] Yeah. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh, awesome. Yeah, it's my way of an apology. 
'''Chris:''' It's okay, I mean, you don't have to apologize uh I mean you acted the way you did because you felt like you had to. 
'''Kacey:''' Yeah but [Chris talks over her] just forward me whatever purchases you make and um I will definitely help you. I'm happy you appreciate that. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah I'll [unintelligible] 
'''Kacey:''' Okay. 
'''Chris:''' Uh and my - I was doing a lot of walking today and lap - I did a lot of laps around the neighborhood. Instead of taking the easier counter-clockwise route around the uh 'hood I went clockwise and actually powerwalked the steep incline we have here. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh nice. How much is a lap for you. Is it like a mile or something? 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I'm not sure what the distance is. I could probably measure it in my car. Uh of course I'm counting also going into the uh the little courtyard- the little courts y'know. It's like y'know the court. The into the. I'm actually going into those- 
'''Kacey:''' Uh huh 
'''Chris:''' Courts. Up and down them. 
'''Kacey:''' Well did you run or jog the whole time cause remember you just gotta get that heartrate up. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. I powerwalked. Today I powerwalked but yesterday I did some jogging in there as well. 
'''Kacey:''' I think you should look up how to get your heart rate up and where your heart rate should be. Because you just can't walk and I'm not there to show you obviously because I've got so much going with school but um if you Google it that should be awesome. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. Well let me ask you though. I thought of this question earlier. Uh yeah you're studying to be a nurse. Do you have to take any psychological type classes like y'know like any classes like a psychiatrist would have to take? 
'''Kacey:''' Oh of course. Um I'm actually in um 2nd Level Human Growth and Development this semester. 
'''Chris:''' Okay. 
'''Kacey:''' I mean a lot of it overlaps I mean I'll be taking Abnormal Psyche next semester. 
'''Chris:''' A normal... psyche class? 
'''Kacey:''' Abnormal? Like not normal. Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Oh abnormal. Okay. Yeah well I have- I'll tell you what if you get to the part where they talk about Autism I could give you some- some information on that and probably help you with any essays you have to write or whatever. 
'''Kacey:''' Oh yeah. That would be interesting. Y'know get a little perspective maybe I'll get some extra credit. 
'''Chris:''' Alright. Yeah you know I mean it's too bad we couldn't plan the uh trips of you coming over here with your hanging out y'know between Labor Day weekend. 
'''Kacey:''' I know, I know. 
'''Chris:''' I mean- 
'''Kacey:''' I had to work all day so I mean but hey- making that money. But back to what you said about helping me with class. You can start whenever because even though I'm taking it next semsester that way I'll be prepared I mean. Why don't you describe Autism to me? You know give me a feel for it. 
'''Chris:''' Alright. I'll have to give it some thought but I'll have - write you a uh minimum 100 maximum 500 word essay about it. 
 '''Chris:''' ...That
 '''Kacey:''' Okay cool
 '''Chris:''' Of course you definitely can with a multi-pack, you know,3 packs for like 10 dollars. Least there-least there still-one o- still one over here still sells them for that price, 3 for 10
 '''Kacey:''' Oh I mean, uh, wash them
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' You don't have to buy tons of them, you could just wash them. Like, I mean, unless you're doing it for style there's no reason to have a lot of them
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I currently have-I currently have 6, but I understand from my mom that I could wear uh, bra 3 underwear-a bra or underwear for 3 days, then switch over to the new ones
 '''Kacey:''' Well um also, with those things I know you've never used them before but you need to, you know, let them air out every night and um you know, um, I at [Chris: y-yeah] least rinse mine with you know a little bit of spray cleanser. You know maybe some febreeze, maybe, anything. But I mean I also wear perfume and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Okay so wait a minute, uh, spray what with febreeze?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, use some febreeze. That would work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah so wait a minute, you're talking about spraying the bra with febreeze?
 '''Kacey:''' Of course, you don't put that on your skin
 '''Chris:''' [laugh] Okay I just wanted to make sure I understood...mmkay febreeze. Yeah okay well I'm not sure we have any febreeze in the bathroom, but you know next chance I get I will definitely get some febreeze.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cool. Awesome. Like they have different scents now that smell really good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, what do you recommend, personally?
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] I like the lavender one, I love that one the most. It's one of the purple ones. There's a spring one and then there's a lavender one.
 '''Chris:''' I like lavender scent.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh cool.
 '''Chris:''' I have smelled lavender before and it does smell good.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' 'kay...that's good. 't's very good. We've found some common ground there, we both like lavender
 '''Kacey:''' [little laugh] It's not my favorite but it is one of them
 '''Chris:''' mmkay, one of them. Okay what is your top favorite scent?
 '''Kacey:''' Um...Probably...Either like a sandalwood amber thing, or vanilla.
 '''Chris:''' Vanilla is-vanilla is good. What's the other one you said, sandal with amber?
 '''Kacey:''' Sandalwood with amber.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. An-An. I'm sorry, andalwood?
 '''Kacey:''' Sandalwood.
 '''Chris:''' Oh okay
 '''Kacey:''' You know like sandals you wear on your feet? Yeah
 '''Chris:''' Ohhh, sandalwood, yeah okay. Sandalwood with amber. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I actually, um I have lots of different perfumes and I mix them and I layer them, but I make sure their scents all correspond.
 '''Chris:''' Wow you uh, you mix your own perfumes. [little laugh]
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' That's pretty-that's-that's very good, I mean uh...
 '''Kacey:''' That way when one wears off I've got another thing, it's really nice. But I mean men don't wear perfume, they wear like cologne and body spray and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah...(???)-mix things up I often like to uh mix things up-I often like to, uh, mix things up, like, you know, if I'm at my country club ??? golden corral, I-I sometimes like to mix things and, you know, mix food togeth-mix different foods-like y'know like a different combination of vegtables.Ok- Or, y'know, aside from a side but I mean like you know, maybe green beans, and corn, and cook-cooked carrots, whatever. Whatever they have there. Or you know, here's a fun-Here's a fun thing you could try: Mixing any-mixing-mixing any cooked vegtables in mashed potatoes.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I don't really like to mix my food. I'm just like that. I don't like cooked carrots either I think they're gross. I mean but I mean it's not the same as mixing.???-but I see what you're getting from. Like, um, I-I know people who do that all the time, but you know, I like to eat all my stuff individually. Unless it DOES go together.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I hear ya, that's good. Mmm. Mmkay. Okay, Well you know, just wanted to let you know, I was just reading an article about Seth MacFarlane, in, uh, this month's Playboy. You know, just talking about, uh, Fam- Just talking about Family Guy you know. You know ??? about-about ten years ago since it first aired just after Superbowl 33? And Seth MacFarlane just calls that ga-ns calls that-call that game boring.
 '''Kacey:''' [Sounds bored] Oh, really.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. He just calls the game boring, but, you know, and then it just-[mutters, as though reading off notecards]ah shoot, I mean, whaddya say about f-Family Guy and um...yeah I haven't s-well maybe I was just ??? but yeah [stops muttering] Yeah, he was prepped on the show-on the show was gonna be huge, and then...and then apparently had gotten huge numbers are

 '''Kacey:''' Well, when you finish a comic, I can't wait for the audiobook version, I think they're funny.
 '''Chris:''' ...You mean Vivian's audiobooks?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! I love those, I'm so glad you showed them to me.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Stress pause]'' Yeah, I never authorized those audiobooks.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think she did a great job. I think you should thank her, I mean, they're AWESOME.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' And it's like free publicity.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah... Ahhh, but still, so many things she's done against me.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what? I mean, I didn't see anything bad.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well how about that folder of her art I sent ya... The, uh, few comic pages where she mocked about me and my sw- My early days in my Sweetheart Search, like you know... You know, it's-
 '''Kacey:''' It's a parody, if you're gonna be famous you're gonna get parodies. I think it's great to go ahead and get them out of the way.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, still you know-
 '''Kacey:''' Just because somebody does a parody, doesn't mean that they hate you or anything, it's just, you know, it's publicity, come on. You've got to laugh at these things or else you're never gonna make it.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Okay-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, it's flattering. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Okay but you know I'm talking about the, uh, ones where she's got the Misdreavus in there with her. The Pokemon-
 '''Kacey:''' Still. You should just go with it, and be like "thank you for the free publicity". This is your show, so run it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, "this is my show so want it"?
 '''Kacey:''' So RUN it. Run it.
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, it opens it up to more people. I mean if you don't want her to do it, you should make your own audiobooks. You should narrate them yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. I thought about that, but it's like you know... I'd ra- I'd rather actually have a- My- A woman to read the, uh, Rosechu parts. But unfortunately I don't have a-
 '''Kacey:''' I'd be happy to help. I can give you recordings.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Silence]''
 '''Kacey:''' But you know I'm really busy so I probably wouldn't be able to for a long, long time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Okay, well I appreciate the offer. And I'll think about dat furder. But I think- But I was hoping, like you know, I could actually let my sweetheart do it, but like, unfortunately I just been having... the, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh then I think you should wait, that's a good idea.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, it's... Still so much- Still a lot for me- Still a lot of things for me to think. Umm... Yeah, but also, uh, cuz also, I think I have informed you about Vivian Gee being Clyde Cash's cousin.
 '''Kacey:''' But that doesn't mean anything.
 '''Chris:''' Clyde Cash was a major troll.
 '''Kacey:''' But, that doesn't mean SHE is.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Okay. But still you know, Clyde Cash, he was also the one- He was also the first guy that actually got into my- That actually hacked into my original hosting account on Tripod. And then the following one on-
 '''Kacey:''' How did he do it?
 '''Chris:''' He tried to... to turn the- turn the website around and make it look- make it look like- make it mock ME. He-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean how did he figure out your passwords and logins and stuff, did he hack it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' How did he hack it?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed]'' I don't know how he hacked it.
 '''Kacey:''' Did you use an easy-to-guess password?
 '''Chris:''' No, I did not use an easy password. I don't even remember what the password was, now.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but anyways, then I- then I tried to like- then I tried using [[Yahoo!]]... I think it was. Or maybe it was something else I don't know, but anyway then he got in- But then he hacked into that as well, even on Godaddy- Even on my last attempt at- Even on the last attempt at on Godaddy dot com being the web host, he got into that as well. And then I-
 '''Kacey:''' Wow, he sounds very talented!
 '''Chris:''' Ugh... But anyway, you know, I- Anyway, after I got my Godaddy account back I just basically pulled the plug on the- Pulled the plug on the whole Sonichu site thing. And then supposedly he ki- And then, supposedly he killed himself. So I just assumed-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh...
 '''Chris:''' I just assumed that he's been dead for da few months. I think I sent you Vivian's ad- I think I sent you Vivian's address, if you wanna talk to her and verify.
 '''Kacey:''' That's... That's, um... I don't know what to say about that.
 '''Chris:''' Well you know, you could think- You know, no rush, you could think about dat furder. Um... Shoot, what was I gonna say- Oh yeah, yeah I just assumed that- I just, uh, assumed that he's been dead the whole time and GLAD that he's been dead.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh...
 '''Chris:''' Even Vivian- Even- Even Vivian agreed about- Even agreed on him being dead.
 '''Kacey:''' Then I guess he is, or... I don't know.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a really bad topic.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It was a bad topic. But you know, I mean like you know, I had to recall cuz you know...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean it's so sad when someone kills themselves.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it was just- It was just to verify the whole troll- The trolling situation there. From him, and... You know and also like you know, Vivian did write a book and she sent me a copy of it. I think it was called "Da Girl who Ruled Da World". Uhhh, don't tell Vivian, but I never actually read the book. Even though I told- Even though I told her- Even though I lied to her and told her that I read it.
 '''Kacey:''' You shouldn't lie, that's horrible! What if it's a really good book, I mean didn't we talking about this before? Why would you do that?
 '''Chris:''' Hm... It was like, uh, tryin'... I was like, I dunno. I don't remember. It was in the conversation, we were just talkin', and then you know... Yeah, I just- I just did not feel comfortable with saying like, you know, "Oh, I haven't read it", and den she would be encouraging me to read it, but anyway, then anyway- Uh, currently the uh, book is on loan to Rocky, she hasn't given it back to me yet, and she's just had an appendix operation. She's read, uh, she's read, uh, a whole chunk of da book, and it's mostly mockery- mockery against me anyway. Mockery against me and my Sonichu characters.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, like I said, it's probably just free publicity. So, I think I mentioned before I wanted to read it, but you should read it first. You have to read it before you judge it, I'm pretty sure we talked about this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah we're talkin' about- We're talkin' about Vivian's book, right?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah after I get it back from Rocky I'll be sure to read it.
 '''Kacey:''' You should probably get it back very soon.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. M'kay. Alright, so... Yeah, you did not have any classes today, so you just had work?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. I worked and studied.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, that's good, did you have a good- You had a good day, I guess?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, it was work, you know, so... I just worked.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Puttin' a little more bread on your own table for yourself.
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm.
 '''Chris:''' Very commendable.
 '''Kacey:''' So uh, how's your job search going besides, uh... besides Target?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I got another application to uh, go back online and fill in. But... But yeah, you know, at least I'm making- But yeah, you know, I'm making progress. Eventually, I'll get- Eventually... You know, I'll get da message saying like you know, "Yeah you're hired, come in for the in- or, come in for the interview".
 '''Kacey:''' Hm.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You should, uh, call in and ask.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' You know, make sure they got the application.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's a good idea, okay. Yeah. Alright I will do that, I will make calls and find out for certain.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you know, show them you're interested.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Especially- Especially since I know well- I know very well that I can make 980 dollars a month without it affecting my Social.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you're pretty lucky.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Oh by the way, uh... Yeah I'll let you know- I'll probably let you- I'll probably let you know about this- I wrote up my list of questions to, uh, my Doctor McGovern... Uh, you know, things that uh, you and me and Kim, we talked about a little bit. Um, I wrote 'em out in a letter but unfortunately I was gonna deliver it today, but the office was closed for Labor Day, so...
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, considering my next- Considering my next trip downtown would be Wednesday for the yoga session, I'll drop it off on Wednesday.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh cool, are you gonna send me the questions?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, sure, I'll get- I dunno, would you like me to?
 '''Kacey:''' Um... Sure, why not?
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Kacey:''' I just thought that was why you mentioned it.
 '''Chris:''' Well, no, I mean- I just- I'm just bringin' it up as like, you know, just... You know, just lettin' you know that I'm gonna be inquiring about all that with- with my doctor, sure. Anyway let me- Anyway, I- Anyway... Anyway, basically currently it's five questions, uh... First one is about the, uh, gym membership discount.
 '''Kacey:''' Mm-hm...
 '''Chris:''' And then the second one's a question about, uh, whether I should get back on the Paroxetine or not. But I mean, I don't- I mean, I think I've been okay with- Off- Off it, you know. I feel like I've been better, but it's like, uhh... I felt more- I feel a little bit more vulnerable to stress, but with uh, practicing the stress ma- More- With more practicing the uh, stress management techniques, I feel like I'm about starting to regain emotional control over dat.
 '''Kacey:''' So that was your anti-depressant?
 '''Chris:''' The, uh, Paxil originally, but then I switched over to Paroxetine... Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well I mean, are you not taking it anymore, 'cause I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I have not been taking it for a month.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean if you're so stressed all the time then maybe you should. I mean, that should be up to your doctor, you should ask him that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright... And then I asked- And then I asked him further about the uh, Lipitor... You know... Uh... I don't remember da question, I've already sealed the envelope. And it was just- It was just- And I have it on my- I have it- I have it on my bed in front of me, and... Hm. I guess I could- I guess I- I guess I can rip it open and send you the questions, anyway. But I'm just lettin' you know in a nutshell.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' And then like you know- And then the fourth and fifth questions are about my, uh, penis. Number four being about like you know, whether it should be level, or- or- Or, you know, if bent is normal. Or if like you know, if there's a way of straightening it- Of leveling it out. And then the second question is about like you know, getting a prescription to a penis extension medication pill... That sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Awkward pause]'' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yep. ''[Another awkward pause, as Chris prepares to ask what he's always wanted to ask]'' Ahh... Okay, I'll just go ahead and get it out of the way - How BIG was Chris's penis?
 '''Kacey:''' WHAT??!? What??
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I just- I asked you- I just asked you, how big was Chris's penis?
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Laughing]'' That's a really odd question for you to ask me... Um, but I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you, It was definitely, um, a little around nine inches.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, now I- Okay, shh... I mean, REALLY? Nine inches??
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah... You know, sometimes it hurt, but you know, it was good, and it was thick.
 '''Chris:''' Shoot, mine only gets, like, six to seven inches...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Laughing]'' I'm sorry, it's just a weird question...
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I just felt like I had to know.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean... Okay... Why do you need to know? I mean, I thought you weren't interested in other people's penises, but just tell me, why'd you need to know?
 '''Chris:''' I mean like, who was the, uh... Supposed- In that sense, who was the bigger man, there.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I guess he won that. But I just- I don't- Okay... I mean, it was just nine, thick, and straight. It was there...
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well like, you know, while I'm feeling discomfort in that...
 '''Kacey:''' You're the one who asked about how he rocked my world with it!
 '''Chris:''' Well I did not- I did not necessarily ask how he rocked your world with it, I was just asking how big it was.
 '''Kacey:''' I- Well, I mean, come on... I mean you opened that up.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but it's like you know... Alright I just pretty much established this with Kim, but... I definitely have an insecurity... And- And that's one of my insecurities, like you know, in comparison to other guys... Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So you don't like other people's penises, but you want to hear about them so you can compare yourself to them?
 '''Chris:''' No I-
 '''Kacey:''' I don't do that with, like, women's breasts.
 '''Chris:''' No actually this is the first time I've asked that question, but it's like you know I just felt like I had to know.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, well, I mean, why?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, cuz it's like, you know, I'm def- It just makes me think that like, you know- I have been con- I have been on and off and on about like, you know, increasing the size of mine... But I- And then, it's just like you know, I wasn't sure if the, uh, till- It- I- I mean... For about two separate months, I had been, uh, had taken Extenze. But yeah I just hadn't- I just hadn't seen a big difference. Except for like, you know, just aft- Just after taking it, it definitely showed a maximum of seven inches. Erect. Oh by the way I- By the way, actually measuring it, it's like four inches limp.
 '''Kacey:''' ...Okay. I don't know... Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I just thought the only way to make a big difference is to actually get surgery, but...
 '''Chris:''' I mean haven't you- I mean haven't you seen the, uh- I mean surely- Surely you've heard of the penis extension pills.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but I thought they weren't supposed to work. I mean, most of them aren't even approved by the FDA and stuff. But I mean, they also say that losing weight helps, they say uh... Every 20 or 30 pounds of fat that you take away, an inch comes back. I don't know if that's true or not, that's probably a rumor.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it does sound like a rumor.
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, no harm in trying, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... At least I'm starting a daily regimen of exercising. And I'm taking the appropriate steps and I'm losing my Buddha Belly...
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, I'd just hate to end our conversation- End our conversation on such a note, cuz you know, my mind's running- My mind's running blank right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well um... I'll go ahead and talk to you, I guess, tomorrow. Unless you wanna ask any more questions about Chris's penis, I guess. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' I'm not gonna ask any more questions that. ''[Laughs]'' Okay. Alright, well I- Okay, well yeah, good laugh, good laugh, that's a way to end a good- end a conversation well. Okay. Alright well, I'll let you go and I'll talk to you tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, alright, bye.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah alright, bye-bye.

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 10]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 12]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 10

2014-05-23T04:42:59Z

Export A:

4 [[September 2009]]

*[[Chris]] mowed the back yard today. His mom mowed the front yard.
*Chris says he jogged around the neighborhood.
*Chris "forgot" to buy [[Bob]] a birthday present. [[Vivian Gee]] didn't forget; she sent him a nice gift basket.
*Chris still hates Vivian for making the [[Audiobooks]] and making a mockery and slander out of him. Kacey likes the Audiobooks.
*Chris didn't read Vivian's book "and he did not care to"; he gave it to his pastor who told Chris it's a mockery of him.
*Chris bought some [[sports bra]]s, he likes them and now wears them all the time.
*Chris was confused by bra sizes, so he had to ask a girl to measure him.
*Chris now understands how women feel because he has to wear a bra too.
*Chris talks about chromosomes, and implies that [[Tomgirl Pictures|he's part-woman]] or something stupid.
*Chris shaved his belly before taking the [[Sports bra#Gallery|sports bra photos]].
*Chris shares with us the exact moment he realized he was a [[Tomgirl|transvestite]].
*Chris claims he had manboobs since he was 8 years old.
*Chris has no goals or ambitions, but he once wanted to be a cowboy.
*Chris dreamt that he had a daughter with him at his office job; in the dream he called her Crystal. Clearly this was [[God]] showing him the future.
*Chris would like to get married before he turns 30.
*Chris currently has $10 in his savings, but he's "letting it grow". He also just bought a bunch of video games.
*Chris doesn't want to sell any of his [[video games]], he wants to hold on to them for his children to enjoy.
*Chris admits he's really just keeping the games for himself.
*Kacey calls Chris a hoarder. Chris has never heard of that word.
*Chris blames his hoarding on his parents again, it's all their fault, they're a bunch of packrats.
*If Chris moves any of the shit out, his mom will yell at him.
*Apparently, when Chris asked his parents about moving stuff out of the house, they said "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WE'RE GONNA KICK YOU OUTTA THE HOUSE".

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 10
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|L1ktN3YFlS4}}
| stardate = 4 [[September 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 9]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 11]]
}} </center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello.
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris, it’s Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kace, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I’m good, how about you?
 '''Chris:''' 'Kay [''Short Pause''] Yeah, shoot I had a topic on my head but I can’t remember it right now so how was-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Just give yourself a few minutes and think about it. My day was good, you know, just school and everything. I got to do a dissection today, so it was fun.
 '''Chris:''' A dissection, what you had biology?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, I’m taking anatomy and physiology. I mean, um, yeah, I'm ''majoring'' in biology. [giggles]
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah that’s right, um, um, um, nurse thing
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah
 '''Chris:''' so it’s only natural, yeah. Okay, so I mowed the backyard today, while my mom mowed the front yaaard
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that’s good. Um, was it really hot out there, because I know it was hot where I am.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it was warm out here, but fortunately we had a bunch of trees.
 '''Kacey:''' Did you ever think that maybe you should have done both yards then and let your mom rest?
 '''Chris:''' Aah, I’m sorry, what? I did not understand the question
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should have done both of the yards, you know instead of your mom being out there in the heat
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' Well, she wa-, she wanted to do it. She was the first one out to start mowing the lawn.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, so she had to push you to do it.
 '''Chris:''' Oh no, she didn't push me to do it but, ah, it’s like, you know, I asked her if she would like my help and she said- she said, 'yeah' so I, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Oh, well, that’s kind of you to offer
 '''Chris:''' We have a ride-on mower and a push mower. She used the ride-on, I used the push.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' I had went under the- I even pushed the mover ''underneath''- underneath the dripping branches of some of our trees.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Some of our trees- some of our trees are- some of our trees have overhanging branches
 '''Kacey:''' You ever think of trimming those branches off then?
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You know, so they don’t fall and mess things up
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, we have, uh, uh, we have- we have- we have actually trimmed some of the branches before ''[pause]'' Uh, but they
 '''Kacey:''' 'kay
 '''Chris:''' grow back, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you know plants tend to grow, um, so did you do anything else today?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, after I- after I finished up the yard I took a shower, and I went and got a smoothie with my- I went with my ''[sound of phone ringing in the background]'' Uh, my phone's, my home phone's ringing, le-le-let nobody answer it, ha uh. It’s distracting me though, anyway, yeah. My family, if I need to go out with them to get something to eat so I have to drive me by Sheetz. I got a fruit smoothie while I sent my mom and dad over at Coaches while they had, while they shared a pair of hotdogs and fries over at our- over at our Coaches Grill. They had a hot dog and fries; I had a smoothie.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well that sounds like fun. It was just a normal family outing, huh?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and then afterwards- and then after we got back I checked my e-mail and, ah, it went through all, it went through all that, yeah, and then I walked around the neighborhood. I did a little walking and a little jogging, I got five minutes of jogging in out of the walking, yeah, we had mostly, we have a whole bunch of inclines so it is mostly up and down, in our ''[long stutter]'' in my neighborhood here ''[long pause]''
 and I went around prac- [''long stutter''] my whole subdivision area.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean I’ve just checked my e-mail too, and, um, Kim said it was your dad's birthday today, so did you guys do anything else besides getting the smoothie?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah my mom- yeah I was going to get my father- I remembered it was my father's birthday yesterday, and a couple of days before that as well, but unfortunately when I was running, I mean I had the money in my bank and, uh, I spaced out and I forgot to buy my father a present, but you know it’s all good. My father doesn’t usually, like he doesn’t usually care a lot much, so I can just, 'cause it is as simple as, you know, go up to Walgreen's and get a bag of Maple Nut Goodies for him, he likes those Maple Nut Goodies.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, ok, well, um, did he get any other presents?
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah after we got back home from lunch apparently there was a box on our front porch from a, uhh, Cherry Grove Tree company, uhh, it was like a little birthday box and then it was-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] I heard of them they do online orders
 '''Chris:''' I’m sorry what?
 '''Kacey:''' I've heard of them they do online orders, you know like-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Edible Arrangements and 1-800-Flowers. So what, what, uh, did he get?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah there was a little teddy bear, small bag
 '''Kacey:''' Awwww
 '''Chris:''' of cookies, a couple of pieces of fancy chocolate and some hard- and some spheres [pronounced ''spears'' by Chris] of hard candy
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh, so who was nice enough to send that to him? That sounds amazing!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah, but says like get this. On the- on the message note it says it was from, 'Vivian and friends.' The only Vivian I know is Vivian Gee, who was that witch-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Oh my gosh that was so nice of her!
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, but- yeah, but-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] So I mean-
 [long pause]
 '''Chris:''' I mean, you see, it, you know, even though that's-
 '''Kacey:''' You did it right? [''talking over Chris''] Did your dad like it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah he- yeah he liked it. He mostly shared it with my mom
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that’s so awesome though. Oh, that’s so nice
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I was talking to Kim about that as well, and, you know- you know it ''is'' a nice gesture but-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you should totally be happy to have friends like that.
 '''Chris:''' Uh.
 '''Kacey:''' [''talking over Chris''] I mean you should thank her, I mean look at that, I mean ''she'' got your dad a present when you didn’t even. I mean that’s just amazing of her.
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah well I mean I was- I was thinking about- I was planning on making a video thanking her for that, but still you know I don’t- still it doesn’t win me over, you know- it does not turn my feelings around with her on that note, you know I still- I still-
 '''Kacey:''' Well I don’t see why you are trying to make this a bad thing, I mean she did a vary big gesture of good will, I mean it was- it was towards your ''dad'' of all things, I mean that’s huge. But, I mean, what did she do that is making you so mad?
 '''Chris:''' Come on, if you look on her youtube account, vivi-the-gee, which is for my- which is ahh- oh shi- I have subscribed to that, and I blocked her from my youtube, mmm, oh maybe I did but
 '''Kacey:''' She must have said something really bad. What was it
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, but anyway she made these- she made- behind my back she make these audiobook parodies of my comic pages and that I should- and she did not have my permission on that. She was Clyde- She is- she was Clyde Cash's cousin and [[Clyde Cash]] was a major troll in my life- was really
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well maybe you should make a video concerning that, I mean you know-
 '''Chris:''' I’m talk- may I finish, anyway
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever.
 '''Chris:''' anyway she- anyway aside from that- in addition to all of that she just made a whole bunch of mockery out of me. She just mocked me a whole bunch. And slandered- and slandered along with the trolls. I mean, she was no better than the rest of 'em
 '''Kacey:''' How did she mock you?
 '''Chris:''' Sh-sh-she. You watch any of her audiobooks and you'll find- and you'll let her- audiobooks and you'll find- or it- yeah, you watch any of her videos and you'll find out. But anyway, als- Oh shoot, I lost my train of thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, it just seemed like that she just gave your comics a voice. I mean, I thought they were pretty good. It's just the comics in audio form. I mean, she didn't change any of your text or anything. Lots of books have audiobooks.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway, I remember what I was talking about. She also wrote this book that she sent me a copy of. I did not read it, and I do not care to. I loaned it to my pastoral counselor [[Rocky Shoemaker]], she read some of it, and it was just mostly mockery again- mostly mockery against me and my characte- and my Sonichu characters and all- and all- and my real life [unintelligible] and all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Did it- did it actually have your name in it?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] I wouldn't know. I have not read it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then how do you know?
 '''Chris:''' It's- she based it- she
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe it's a wonderful book.
 '''Chris:''' No! It's not that- no, it's not that great a book. She just basically copied-
 '''Kacey:''' You didn't know though if you didn't read it?
 '''Chris:''' She copied my life though. She called it The Girl- I think she titled it, [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|"The Girl Who Fought the World,"]] something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, that doesn't even sound like you. You're not a girl, are you?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know, but-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I think you should read it. Give it a chance.
 '''Chris:''' But, it's like you know, she portrayed the girl being me, or me being a girl.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think maybe you're trying to read into it too much. I think you should just read the book.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I might, after I get it back.
 '''Kacey:''' Most definitely. I want to read it. That sounds exciting. But, um,
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' why didn't you want to read it, if it's from your friend?
 '''Chris:''' She was never a friend, she was a troll, a- and worst off, she was a cousin of a bigger troll.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe you ''should'' [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 4th, 2009|make a video about that]]. You know, like really let your anger and rage out.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-yeah, I will think about that, and I will do that later. I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [''talking over Chris''] I mean, if you've never addressed her like that you should.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, anyway, hmm, anyway a- if I may, I'd like to change the subject. [''pause''] Okay. Um. Yeah, but anyway, I, uh- I went- I went out and did my shopping Wednesday, and, uh, I found accessory sports-bras for ten dollars at Wal-Mart.
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Oh! Yeah! Kim sent me the pics. Ah, how are you likin' 'em?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they feel really comfortable.
 '''Kacey:''' [''amused''] That's good!
 '''Chris:''' They feel really good. [''pause''] Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know- I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [''talking over Chris''] Are you using them for jogging like you said?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I went- I went out and, ya know, I told you, I went- I exercised and I worked, you know, in- while wearing the sports-bra. But yeah, but, I definitely feel the difference because [machine noise]-
 '''Kacey:''' What colors do you have?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Kacey:''' What colors do you have?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, okay, hang on, let me- let me get back to that. Anyway, during the whole time, my man boobs did not bounce. Like, you know, before the bra it's like, you know, they would bounce and I would feel it, but, it's like you know, they don't bounce- they don't bounce as much, and it's hardly noticeable. Anyway, I thought I- anyway, you were asking me about my size just now?
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no, what ''colors'' do you have?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, I'm gonna get some more, but, yeah, in the three-pack there was one grey, one white, and one denim blue. Er, sky blue, really. More appropriate, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Wh-why are you getting more? You- you don't, uh- you need more?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know, I don't- I don't want to end up wearing the same one every day, you know? I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' You're going to wear them every day, not just for exercise?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah- I'm gon- I'm gonna exercise every day.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, but- so you're going to wear the all the time though?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm thinkin' about that, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it just- they just- they just feel- feel really good, and it's like, you know, I'm like turned-on to the sports bra. [''stammering'']-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] I know, just, you know, normally they're just for sports
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but-
 '''Kacey:''' [''talking over Chris''] But, I mean, I guess you wouldn't have to worry about getting a real bra, you know, all of the frilly, lacy stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. If- I do play on starting a regimen of exercises daily. You know, goin' out [unintelligible] walking, jogging, and I-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Just remember you've got to get your heart-rate up, or else it's for nothing. You've got to get that cardio in.
 '''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Yeah, I'm going to.
 '''Kacey:''' Good.
 '''Chris:''' Well, anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' That'll make me very proud.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Anyway. Anyway, let me go ahead and get this off my mind for a bit. When I went, uh, shopping for a bra, I mean, I was told- like- [unintelligible] I think [''stammers''] it was either you or Kim, one of y'all - uh, I think it was you though - um, were telling me about like, you know, small, medium, large, extra-large, double-extra-large, triple-extra-large, those sizes, but during those- instead of those letter sizes it was like number sizes. So I had- I had to ask the-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Oh, so they went by bust size?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so I had to ask the, uh, nearby lady to- to measure my bust size. I turned out I was a forty-three.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, a forty-three!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' [''talking over Chris''] I bet she was really shocked that you were like, "hey, please measure me!" Ha ha.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I was a little bit- I was a little bit embarrassed at first, but, you know, I can- I felt like, you know, I emotionally prepared myself for it. I mean, I emotionally prepared myself to go shopping for sports bras, so, you know, it definitely is like, you know, it- it pretty much falls in a si- suit [quoi?]. It made it easier for me to-
 '''Chris:''' -accept it, so I could measure my bust- so I could ask to get- get my bust size measured. Anyway, so anyway, I got a set of three forty-twos.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I mean, as long as they fit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. They fit great. [''pause''] They feel awesome.
 '''Kacey:''' That's good, that's good. As long as you're happy.
 '''Chris:''' yeah, you know what-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] So anything else on your mind?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, if I was- I was just about to let y'all know about another thought. Like, you know, aba- from- in addition to that, but, yeah, um, you know, it's like, you know, you know, I can see how- how you women feel, like, you know, when your- when your breasts start coming out, and then, it's like, you need the support of a bra to keep them in- to keep them in check and so they don't bounce about. Like, now I understand that.
 '''Kacey:''' [''mystified''] What? Um. I guess. I mean- I mean, I don't really have a problem with my structure. I mean, they're- they're- they pretty much can hold themselves up on their own. I mean, I just wear it for other obvious reasons.
 '''Chris:''' What, you mean like for looks?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, yeah, that, and it's, um, socially acceptable, and, uh, you know, you know, if you get cold you wanna make sure that you have a bra so that your nipples aren't sticking out. Come on. [''giggles'']
 '''Chris:''' He HA HA! Yes. I have heard about that. Mnm, but anyway- anyway, with support and a woman, 'cause like, you know, I relate to- I can relate to women in that sense. It's like, now I understand ''that''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep, show of your feminine side, right? [''giggles'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, like, you know, you, yeah, you should know as well as I do, like, you know, in the chromosomes [pronounces as chromozones] there's an X and a Y in every dude, and yet there are two X's in every woman.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, yes! Yes! That is how genetics work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so there- so there you go. If it- if it was like, you know, everybody was total- every guy was totally a guy, they'd be like two Y's. And it don't- they don't-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Um, I don't think genetics quite works like that, but, um-
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] Yeah, I don- yeah they don't work that way. That's what I was just sayin'.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean. Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hmm, but yeah. But, yeah, yeah, I still feel [[straight]], and it's like, you know. Yeah, you know, when I took the pictures that you just received from Kim, you know, I sent them to Kim first.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh huh
 '''Chris:''' Uh, before- before I went and took those pictures, I wanted to think about it further, it's like, you know, so, yeah, I shaved my- I shaved the hair on my belly. Yeah, I got hair on me, so yeah, I kept the chest hair and whatnot. Uh, we can talk more 'bout that another- another phone call, or after I finish up my thought here.
 '''Kacey:''' Your what?
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, your thought. Okay, okay, got it.
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, yeah, anyway, after I shaved off the belly hair then just I took- I just spent a whole minute just lookin' at myself without my shirt on, and it with- with my bra- with my bra on. J-just lookin' at myself in the mirror for one minute, studying myself. It was like, you know, I mean, you know, at first I didn't know what to think, that's, like you know- that's why I sit in the mirror and look- took a good long- took a good one- took a good long look, there. And then I went to feed my cats and check the mail in the my mailbox, and that was about fifteen minutes later, and then that thought came back-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Wait. Did you- did you go outside in your sports bra?
 '''Chris:''' No, I put- no, I put my shirt back on.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, okay.
 '''Chris:''' No, I put my shirt back on before I went outside. An- [STATIC] af- I had- the thou- the image from what I saw in the mirror came back to me, and I thought- and then I was like, 'yeah, I look pretty good, and I- and I can accept this, I can get used to this," and then I- and then I just felt confident, or, when I- when I sit in front of the camera and took the pictures that I later sent to Kim.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well think about how confident you're going to be ''too'' when you exercise and ''work'' those things off, so that you don't even ''need'' a sports bra. I mean, you know, ''that's'' going to be awesome!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that's true. But, then again, you know, I had- I've had these manboobs since I was eight years-old, about.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, th-that's not really how the way our bodies work. I mean, if you lose weight, you're gonna lose it there too.
 '''Chris:''' Well, we'll- we'll see what happens after I get [''stammers''] after I-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts''] Chris, who's going to be in the medical profession? C'mon.
 '''Chris:''' You are. [''chuckles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, yeah, I mean, I mean, I guess, you know, maybe if you were a little chubby back then it would be possible, but, I mean, c'mon. [''giggles'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [''chuckles''] Okay, you are going to the medical confess- medical profession. I almost said confession [''laughs'']-
 '''Kacey:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it yeah, you're learning-
 '''Kacey:''' Freudian slip, there.
 '''Chris:''' -yeah, you're learning lots of that, it's like, you know, you can currently- you're learning as you go, but yet, you don't know- uh, but it's like, you know as much as you do and I appreciate that.
 '''Kacey:''' No prob.
 '''Chris:''' And, uh, yeah, I mean, you know, you still got a lot to learn, but I'm- you still got a lot to learn, but yeah, you know a lot for- you know a lot right now. So, yeah, who's going to the medical profession? You are.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. I've been studying this since I, you know, since I knew I wanted to be in the medical profession.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. By the way how- by the way when was that? How old were you when you first decided?
 '''Kacey:''' Ten.
 '''Chris:''' Wow. So you started like, uh, some time during middle or high school? [''yammers on'']
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Uh, when I was ten I was in elementary school.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Elementary. [''short pause''] Yeah. Okay, yes, I'm- okay, I get a little confused, 'cause, you see, I was, uh- oh yeah, uh, [''calculating to himself''] then I was in Providence Middle, about uhhhhh- Yeah, I turned thirteen when I was Providence- in Providence Middle, so I guess, yeah, at ten, you would- one would be likely in elementary school still yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep
 '''Chris:''' I just had t-to sort that out in my head just now. Okay, so, really, you took classes without- y-you learned some things while you were in elementary school?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, I just always wanted to be it, and, uh, I've always loved books, so, you know, I'd read on my own. It wasn't necessarily, you know, in the school curriculum.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, that's good. Very good. I commend you for it.
 '''Kacey:''' Thank you. Um, what did ''you'' want to be when you were little?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, yeah, shoot, I never knew what I wanted to be when I- to be when I grew up. I mean the closest thing that I would have ever thought I would have wanted to be when I grew up, was a '''cowboy'''.
 '''Kacey:''' A cowboy?
 '''Chris:''' It was like only for a short- it was like only for a short while during that phase. And, yet, other- other than that every time I was asked, 'where do you see yourself five years from now,' I never have an answer; '''I always draw a blank.'''
 '''Kacey:''' Hmm, that's not good, you should get some goals, I mean, even if you, uh, don't exactly meet them, as long as you have those goals.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it's only like, you know, it's like, you know, for a while I could answer my- I could answer that question. 'Oh, yeah, I'm married and I have a daughter named [[Crystal]].'
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, I don't think most guys would think that's something to be proud of, I mean, yeah, family's important and all, but don't you want to make something of yourself? You need to have goals.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, you know, currently I-I am starting to, uh, make some goals, and setting those up for myself. I-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Where did you get the name, uh, Crystal anyway? I mean, it sounds like, you know, like, that champagne that rappers drink, you know, like, like the stripper.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay. I had- I had first heard the name Crystal for being my daughter in my early teens, or, even as young as ten years-old. Where I was like- I was- I was- I-I think, yeah, this is my first dream I'm talking about here - my first of many - where I'm leaving the office and I had my daughter there with me. And-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Right, you've told me this.
 '''Chris:''' I'm talk- I'm talking-
 '''Kacey:''' But I just asked where, uh, where you, uh, where you got the name from. I don't need to hear the dream again.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know, but this is it. In the dream, I called her Crystal. I knew her name was Crystal. That is the first time right there, that dream, in the office, that was going on there. I was like, 'oh my God, I have to save my daughter ''Crystal''.'
 '''Kacey:''' Did you ever think that maybe that was just a dream?
 '''Chris:''' I thought it was a lot more than that. It was like, you know, you're- I thought it was like a God- like God telling me what my future was- what my future was going to be, that I would have a daughter named Crystal.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, okay, so when do you think you're going to get married, you know, so you can start this family? Like, when do you- when do you want to get married by?
 '''Chris:''' How would I want to get married by?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, when do you want to get married by? Like, you know, like age thirty? Age forty?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I would like to get married before I turn thirty.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well, you've got some work to do!
 '''Chris:''' Yes I do. And to think I- and I have been working, like, you know, I realized, 'oh, I should- I should be going out dating. I should be dating women.' I realized that-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well I mean, it's not even that-
 '''Chris:''' on my twenty-first birthday.
 '''Kacey:''' You're-you're gonna have to go get jobs. You're gonna have to, you know, um, get a group of frie- I mean, you're just gonna have to create a whole life really quickly. I mean, a girl's not just going to look at you and go, "oh, look, you live with your parents." You gonna need a steady job and a place.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, at least I'm working on the job front. I'm filling out applications-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] Well, I know-
 '''Chris:''' -online.
 '''Kacey:''' if you want to go by thirty, you only have three years, and that stuff takes time. I mean, do you have any savings to do this with?
 '''Chris:''' I have a savings account, yes.
 '''Kacey:''' But i- are there savings ''in'' that account?
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yes. There are a few dollars in there.
 '''Kacey:''' A few ''dollars''? Like, I'm-I'm talking like- like '''thousands''' of dollars. [''chuckles''] Or, do you literally mean like, 'a few dollars.' [''snickers'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so it's like, I add into it every month. I mean, I originally had it started at two-hundred, and then, in '''past''' impulses- past impulses, I've improved on my impulses-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupting''] So you don't have any savings-
 '''Chris:''' I have-
 '''Kacey:''' -is what you're saying?
 '''Chris:''' -I currently have ten dollars, and I'm let- I'm- and I'm lettin' that grow. It's like, you know, if it's- if it's not above- if it's not two-hundred and above they charge you four dollars for having a savings account there- four dollars a month. Like, I've got a little bit- I-I've got as much a I can, out of the [[monthly tugboat]], that I can maybe grow it back up, but then- now that I've learned that I can make as most as nine-hundred and eighty dollars, in a month-
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' -without it- without it affecting my social, then it's like, you know, I'm gonna take what I earned- what I've earned- what I earned from my job, and put it directly into my savings account and save it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well then you can impulse buy then.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. That is the case. [''pause''] And I'm accept- and I accept that.
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Well, I mean, have you bought anything recently from like, um, the [[Playstation 3]] store, or any video games?
 '''Chris:''' Not on impulse; it was planned out of my budget. So I still have- I still have like fifty- I still have like fifty dollars in my bank- in my main bank account.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well how long did you have these things planned?
 '''Chris:''' I had it planned for a few weeks.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh [Chris struggles to interrupt] well, that's almost like impulse.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh''] Anyway, firstly there was [[Guitar Hero]] 5, I only had to pay forty-eight something out of that after- I had put the five dollars down cash, and then I- then I traded in a few more games. And then I had to go and get a new printer-copier-scanner for sixty-nine dollars. And then I- and then I wanted to catch up on my Playstation Network account, so, I bought a 50-dollar card. And then, yeah, upon, uh, the recent necessities- upon the realizing that, I also spent ten dollars on necess- [STATIC]-
 '''Chris:''' -sports bras.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, that's, I mean, look how much you spend on video games. I mean, that- that's a lot in, like, a day or two, that really is, especially, uh, like, if you had bills, you couldn't do that. I mean, how could you have spent that much, even if it was planned, and yet you didn't even get your dad a birthday present?
 '''Chris:''' [''frustrated''] I forgot about the birthday present. I can get him the- I can get him the Maple Nut- Maple Nut Goodies, and I will.
 '''Kacey:''' Still, that's a lot to spend on video games-
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] But- but yeah- but- but- but yeah I'm tryin' to- but- but yeah, I'm trying to do not so much impulse buying and I'm trying to ''save''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I guess you're going to have to work better on that, 'cause you just spent a ton on video games at once.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I've- I- I thought we- I thought we've discussed before that all that money on the video games did not happen all at once.
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no, I'm talking about what you just told me. That's still a lot to drop on video games at once.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] And plus, I only- and plus, at that rate- yeah, [''calculates video game costs to himself'']-
 '''Kacey:''' [''interrupts''] I mean, I wish I could do that.
 '''Chris:''' And then, I only did fif- and then I only did fifty for the Playstation Network. '''And''' I paid fif- and I paid- and I paid seventy dollars for the new printer-scanner-copier that I ''needed'', so I could print the com- so I could print my comics to send out one copy to the copyright office, and then three more amongst- between- from be- for between Marvel, Dark Horse, and Archie.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I know. that's- that's still a lot of money just to drop though, like, I mean, I ''wish'' I could drop that on stuff I wanted, or even needed.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']
Yeah well during th-during the longer time I did not really have any goal oriented plans. But now-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Well if you want to get married at 30 you better start getting those plans.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean fortunately with the recent events and talking to you and Kim I am starting to put my plans together.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you know 3 years goes by pretty quickly so good luck.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [pause] Yeah, thank you. [''sighs'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean have you ever thought of selling your videogames for money like the ones you don't play anymore?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I thought about that and I did not wish to do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? I mean if you don't use them.
 '''Chris:''' I'd like to h- be able to hold onto them for my daughter to enjoy. Or even my- even my son. My children.
 '''Kacey:''' But by the time you have children there'll be better videogames out. I mean stuff improves all the time. But I mean they'll be able to get ROMs of anything.
 '''Chris:''' They'll be- they'll be able to get ROMs. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah ROMs are wonderful I mean it keeps the clutter away 'cause they're all in a nice little y'know megabytes and all that stuff and y'know you can just join GameFly or something like that.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighs'']
 '''Kacey:''' [pause] I mean think about just how much room you would save. I mean it would besides maybe your kids won't like videogames. Maybe they'll be more into sports.
 '''Chris:''' Well at least for me to enjoy then. I mea- I have- I am a nostalgic type person and I often get nostalgia. And sometimes I don-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Well so do I but even I know that I have to keep up the times. I mean what of your old games have you played recently? Like of the oldest of the old.
 '''Chris:''' Which ones have I played recently?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I've played a few levels of Knuckles Chaotix on my 32x.
 '''Kacey:''' And that's it?
 '''Chris:''' I also p- I also played the egg stopping game on my NES with my PowerPad. But then I- then I put the PowerPad away. Back to where it was.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean why don't you just sell the ones you don't play?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well that's a lot for me to sort through.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you gotta do it eventually. I mean if not you're going to be a hoarder or something.
 '''Chris:''' A what?
 '''Kacey:''' A hoarder? Somebody who
 '''Chris:''' I've never heard of that.
 '''Kacey:''' It- it's some- it's a packrat. It's somebody who has a psychological problem where they can't give up their stuff and they fill their house with junk. I mean it's somebody who hoards things.
 '''Chris:''' As if I- as if I have an [unintelligible] establish with that lifestyle because my mother and my father are packrats. I think we've established that in previous conversations.
 '''Kacey:''' Um. I don't think you've really talked to me about that. But um this whole- maybe you should set an example for them.
 '''Chris:''' Alright well let me just refresh- let me just refresh you. Yeah well you see my mom and dad bring home stuff. A massive amount though including- like we have these two couches in my room that my mom says she's gonna take out the old couches and replace- take out a couple of the old couches [cough] replace them with a new one. But she never did- the two couches are just sitting one on top of the other at the edge of our living room and also the couch in the kitchen which she says she- she said she was gonna put together but she never did. We also got like a couple of pieces of furniture I don't even remember what they are downstairs. Where it's like you can't even get into the music slash computer room downstairs. Anyway we have a computer upstairs in the kitchen up here by the way, at least we get that. And also between shelves, filing cabinets, whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' Well um. Why don't you do it for her? I mean your parents are old maybe they need the help. Why don't you take out the old furniture and put the new ones in? I bet you could do it I mean you helped out with all that brush in your yard so obviously you're strong.
 '''Chris:''' Yes but it's like y'know if I, and I mean I would love to do it for them-
 '''Kacey:''' Well just do it
 '''Chris:''' -But it's like. They have- they have to- I've been waiting for them to make the plans and I do not know where to put everything.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't have to make any plans. Just take the old couches out, arrange for a pickup or arrange for Goodwill to come get them. The end. It's so simple.
 '''Chris:''' It's not as simple as you think plus I have a whole bunch of other clutter.
 '''Kacey:''' Just give it away. I mean if they haven't used it - if nobody has used it in a year you don't need it. Just get rid of it you can live without it. You should totally do it for them.
 '''Chris:''' And then my family s- then my mom would yell at me and definitely would probably throw me out of the house.
 '''Kacey:''' No I think they would be happy that you did something. Maybe you should talk to them then. Be like "Hey, I wanna clean up the house. I'm gonna get rid of stuff."
 '''Chris:''' I have talked to them. And they- and they- I have talked to them and they said "NO NO NO. NO NO NO. YOU DON'T DO THAT YOU DON'T DO THAT WE'RE GONNA KICK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE."
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's a pretty bad position to be in because that's unhealthy for you to live in. That's extremely unhealthy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah tell me about it. [sigh, followed by pause] Whoo I got a bit of a headache right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah I can understand the feeling. So um- but yeah y'know that rage out maybe you should maybe right now you should go make that video. Cause y'know you can put all that anger that you just showed me into it. I mean all that frustration just go and get that video done. It'll make you feel a lot better. I'm pretty sure of it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So why don't I let you go and I expect the video to be up soon. I'll be excited to see it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome. Okay well then I'll call you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' Alright you take care, stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Okay thanks. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye bye.

 [Call ends]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 9]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 11]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 9

2014-05-23T04:06:27Z

Export A:

3 [[September 2009]]

*[[Chris]] says he's okay being just friends. However, one second later, he says that [[Kacey]] telling him they're just friends is like "stabbing him in the heart".
*Chris: "When I feel love, I feel da happy tingling, I feel happy, elated and ecstatic".
*Chris nervously asks if Kacey has ever drank [[alcohol]], apparently Chris briefly drank a lot but now he only drinks "socially".
*Chris is confused and disappointed that Kacey still has feelings for [[Liquid Chris]]. Chris understands because he had strong feelings for girls in the past, but they were all [[trolls]] or they [[death|died]].
*Kacey questions how Chris can be in love with so many girls.
*Chris gets mad about getting his [[PSN]] accounts hacked. Kacey points out that he's way more passionate about that than about those girls.
*Chris angrily recounts his one date with [[Faeryn]] and how she told him "I'm just not into you", and she totally "said that out of nowhere". Kacey asks what went wrong. Chris: "Maybe I did touch her a few times... but this was before I met you!" Kacey gets Chris to describe Faeryn, probably trying to get him to call her fat. He describes her as heavyset and a "wild fun one."
*Chris needs more "guy friends" to hang out with, Chris says he never socialized with guys growing up. Kacey says it's "kinda gay" that he only had [[gal pals|female friends]], so he backpedals and says that he had some male buddies growing up and they "hung out like straight men".
*Chris says that his autism makes it so he can't make any friends that are guys. Kacey says that Chris is bullshitting.
*Kacey says he was probably "too girly" for the other guys. Chris says he has done "boy things" such as playing soccer, volleyball, and football in [[high school]]. Chris blames his [[autism]], his [[father]], and other males for his not having male friends.
*Kacey says women are way more evil than men. Chris says "that's stupid," then goes on to say that he knows more about women than Kacey due to [[TV]].
*Kacey asks if Chris has ever started a fight, Chris says he needs to "ponder about it" for a bit. He then says yes, with his father. He argues with his father a lot, gets pretty angry when talking about it.
*Kacey asks for a story, and Chris starts whining and raising his voice about his memory and how Kacey is asking too much of him.
*"I don't remember spoken words or what I've said".
*Chris says he's never started a physical fight, but he totally fought back when people beat on him
*Some kid punched Chris on the bus and knocked his glasses off. HE KNOCKED HIS [[glasses|GLASSES]] OFF. The fight was caused because Chris wanted to get off the bus before another kid. Chris claims he fought back (note that he tells a different version of this story to [[Jackie]] one year later). After this fight he got put on the Special Ed Bus, where some kid named Tony would tap him on the head and spit on him. Chris wouldn't move seats because he didn't want to find a new seat from what he would choose every day. "IT WAS MY CONSTANT ROUTINE THAT I RIDE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BUS IN THE FRONT SEAT"
*Chris starts raising his voice and Kacey threatens to hang up.
*The "Special Aid Worker" on the bus didn't help Chris, Chris didn't like her because "she was all butch" and would raise her voice to Chris.
*Kacey suggests for him to type his stories up and to put them on [[CWCipedia]]. Chris thinks if the trolls hear about this they will mock him for it, but then says he'll think about it.
*Chris gets stressed out and asks permission to get off the phone.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 9
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|vHgqvNt1YCo}}
| Stardate = 3 September 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 8]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 10]]
}} </center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris. It’s Kacey. How are ya?
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kace. I’m okay. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I’m okay. Just tired.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Long day at work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh… [unintelligible] I fairly much-I fairly much got over what happened last night. And uh… you know, I’m still-I’m still gonna be friends with you. I just want to let you know about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Y-you get over it? What do you mean by that?
 '''Chris:''' C’mon, didn’t you get the email I sent you last night?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I did. You told me to watch some movies. I already did, and I was like, I don’t get it.
 '''Chris:''' Telling somebody you’re gonna be– telling somebody whose hopeful expectations of something better than being just friends [unintelligible] just friends forever. That’s like stabbing him-that’s like stabbing him in the back or in the heart.
 '''Kacey:''' And you think that trying to push attentions on somebody who’s in love with someone else isn’t like stabbing them in the heart?
 '''Chris:''' I did not say that and I did not… I…
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you just can’t predict the future and you can’t force things on people, like I just want you to respect how I feel right now. I mean, actions speak louder than words. I mean… just, right now… I mean, I’m not saying I know what’s gonna happen, but you can’t either. I mean… just, right now it’s like, you’ve gotta understand what I’m going through.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' And for you to go behind my back and tell people that I’m gonna be your girlfriend… I mean, just, you know… you would ruin anything you could’ve had anyway. Just, right now is not the time, and you need to respect that. I’m not saying that I hate you or anything. I’m just saying… no.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. I’m sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, do you not understand how much pain I’m going through?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I do understand. I do understand, you know? Yeah, the guy… he left you…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I don’t think you do. I mean, do you… do you even know what love is? What is love to you?
 '''Chris:''' Love, to me, is like a lot of things. It’s complicated to talk about, like most anybody else would, but you know, when I feel love, it’s like I feel… I feel the tingle-I feel the happy tingling and I feel happy, elated, ecstatic… and the-and it just feels-it just feels really really good. And I still…
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but love is pain too, you know, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, love is just intensity.
 '''Chris:''' Love is intensity?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. I mean, it could go either way. It’s not always good and it’s not always bad.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Actually, I understand that. Mmm… yeah, anyway… uh… I don’t really have much on my mind right now. Actually, I do have one question I had-I did want to ask you.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' It may not be appropriate, but… yeah. Have you ever… drank? You know, alcoholic beverages.
 '''Kacey:''' O-of course I have. I’m over twenty-one.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I had my celebratory twenty-first birthday dinner at least. I mean, I don’t drink a lot, but… I-I have had drinks. Why do you ask?
 '''Chris:''' I was just wondering, cause yeah, you know, I’ve had-I’ve had some myself and I don’t drink as much either. [pause] I mean, it’s like, you know… uh… you know, at first I-I did more-did more often, because, you know, it just felt good, but then I realized that’s how bad it was. And then I-and then I stayed of it and I don’t do it as much.
 '''Kacey:''' I-it’s not that bad if you do it in moderation. I mean, one drink won’t kill you or anything like that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, one drink in a d-one drink in a day.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, you can have more than one drink, it’s just that you don’t want to get to the point where it rules you, where like, you always have to have a drink.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I don’t-I don’t feel like I have to have a drink every day.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, that’s good.
 '''Chris:''' Cause, you know, I’ll drink socially.
 '''Kacey:''' Y-yeah, most people are social drinkers.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. I just wanted to ask. Get that question out of the way.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, umm… yeah, okay. So, you’re still having feelings for… uh… for Chris, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' O-of course I did. I was-I was gonna marry him. I mean, I know we didn’t know each other for very long, but… I fell for him really hard. I mean, you don’t know much pain I am-I’m in. I-I-It sucks that I can’t even see him, that I can’t hear him, that I can’t even touch him. I mean, i-it sucks. It hurts.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I’ve had that happen to me before, you know. It’s like, you know, I had high expectations myself. You know, yeah, with the-with the women I talked to one at a time, of course you know, with them. And they either-they either turn out to be trolls or they died.
 '''Kacey:''' O-or they died?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Like… uh… Sarah Jackson for one was in an auto-automobile accident between her car and a truck. Sarah Cassandra McKenzie was involved in that brushfire last-brushfire last January.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote love? [pause]
 '''Chris:''' I don’t know. I do not-I have not kept count, but I’m talking about, like you know, yeah, w-we have actually talked to each other for a standard amount of time… and then they-and then they-either they turn out to be trolls or they died. [pause] And this is over the internet, by the way, like it happened between last-between last august and… uh…
 '''Kacey:''' Would you really call that love though? I mean, if you can go in and out of it so easily?
 '''Chris:''' I felt it. I felt it and I still feel for those-for those lost hearts, especially the ones…
 '''Kacey:''' For all of them?
 '''Chris:''' Well, the ones that died. I-I can’t really say that I have positive emotions, you know, for that thirteen-year-old brat who pretended to be a twenty-year-one… twenty-one-year-old girl for two… two-three… two-three months. So, [mutters incoherently] …was the first one that got into my Playstation Network account and conned me-and he con-and that little brat conned me out of so much DLC and even the [unintelligible] version of Burnout Paradise when it was just twenty dollars. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, uh… I guess that would make you angry.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you just seem-you just seem more worked up about the video games than you do talking about love though. I mean, look at-look at the passion you showed, and then I asked you about love and you’re like “whatever.”
 '''Chris:''' [sighs]
 '''Kacey:''' I think… that’s just not cool.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you’re right. It’s not. I mean, it’s just that I never learned love beyond… c’mon… it’s like, you know, I never even had my first date up until a few weeks ago, when I-when I went out on that one date.
 '''Kacey:''' W-with who again?
 '''Chris:''' I only-I only out with one date-on one date in my lifetime and that was with Faeryn [mutters incoherently] a month-a couple- a month or two ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, was she pretty?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she was pretty, but after-but after one date, she was like “Oh, I’m not into you.” And then she just broke it-and then she just broke it with me like that. I mean, I was not-I did not feel the pain immediately, because I did have-because I did have one, and this was at the Apple-we had our date at the Applebee’s. You know, it was a Monday night?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I had one. But, it’s like, you know, her-it’s like, the emotions didn’t get me right away, but then… y’know, after I sober… uh… after a while, I sobered up and then it all-then it all…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, if you weren’t sober, did you do anything inappropriate? Maybe that turned her off.
 '''Chris:''' Wait, what?
 '''Kacey:''' You said that you weren’t sober. Did you do anything in the date that was inappropriate? Maybe that turned her off.
 '''Chris:''' [sighs] Well, yeah, maybe I did touch her a few times.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, we’ve talked about this!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know, but this was-this was before I met you. This was before I met you.
 '''Kacey:''' But, you should know that anyway, you’re twenty-seven.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Um… you know, it’s just common sense. Well, I mean… um… since you said she was pretty… uh… what did she look like?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah. You saw the picture. Remember that trading card I gave to Kim?
 '''Kacey:''' O-oh, that was her?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, in the-in the second half of the heart-shaped balloon. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Um… I-I really don’t remember that well. I-I mean, it’s like, I just kind of looked at Kim’s picture, cause you remember, I just commented on that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you did.
 '''Kacey:''' So, so… uh… maybe you could re-describe her for me.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she heav-yeah, she was a heavy-set girl. Kind of a redhead. Short, short hair. Uh… I think she was about your height. Uh, no wait. I’m sorry. She was a little bit taller. Um… [pause] yeah, she was-she was like… uh… she was-she was a wild, fun one, kind of. She worked at a book sto-she works at a book store over at the downtown mall.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. Cool.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, all the details, I can’t remember off the top of my head, but the point it is… end-end of date num-at end of date number one, she just told me “I was not at all that into me-all that into you.” She was not all that into…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] What prompted her to say that? Did she just say that out of nowhere? Or did you-did you… proposition her? [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, she pretty much said that out of nowhere.
 '''Kacey:''' That seems odd. Well, if she would do something like that, she probably wasn’t very nice to begin with. I mean, I don’t do that when I meet guys. I don’t go up to them and go, “By the way, I don’t like you!”
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I agree with you. [pause] But, you know, the point is though, I do-I do get lonely a lot, especially during night-during the nighttime, when I’m not talking to anybody.
 '''Kacey:''' Well… uh… maybe you should go out and get some friends, like I, you know, suggested.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Kim and I were just talking about that. Yeah, need to make more-need-need some more guy friend-need more guy friends to hang out with.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, yeah. That’s definitely good. You definitely should.
 ''Chris:''' Mmm… yeah…
 '''Kacey:''' Some boys nights out.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, Kim can tell you more about what we talked about in that conversation. But, yeah, it’s not that easy…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, why can’t you?
 '''Chris:''' Why can’t I make guy friends? Well…
 '''Kacey:''' No, why can’t you tell me? I mean, should I get my information from Kim?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I can’t ‘member all the details. I can tell you what I remember.
 '''Kacey:''' No, that-that’s fine. Just… um…
 '''Chris:''' Yeah… uh… anyway, it’s like, you know, yeah. I just basically-I just never cared for guys that much and… uh… I didn’t-I rarely socialized with guy-with men-with boys grow-growing up. Mostly-I mostly socialized with girls.
 '''Kacey:''' D-don’t… okay. I mean, I don’t see why. If you-if you get friends with someone, it doesn’t really matter what gender they are. I mean, it seems like you’re being kind of biased, for no reason. I mean, that’s kinda gay.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' Look, most guys who have a lot of girlfriends would be like that. [chuckles]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah… uh… well, I mean, I will admit, I did have a few-I did have a few buddies in my-I did have a few buddies in my lifetime. But, yeah. But, it’s like, you know, they… came-they came and gone. You know. But, you know, we hung out like-like-like a coup-couple of-like straight men, you know. It was okay. But, any-but, anyway, most-anyway, other than that… uh… I just never really-rrreally socialized with men as much as I did with women. Uh… boys…
 '''Kacey:''' But, like I said, i-it feels like you did that because… you’re… biased. Not because the guys weren’t-were really mean or anything.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well-yeah, think about this, though. I mean, this way like, all growing up, this-this is go-this is going on. My neighborhood consisted mostly of young girls. [stammers] …we were the same age. You know, we played together and all that. And, you know… [pause, sound of clock ticking, mutter incoherently] …I had more gal pals than I did… dude-than I did dude buddies.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I mean… what about in school? There had to be way more guys in school you could interact with.

==Part 2==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|pt4z3iqDThA}}</Center>
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did-I did talk-I did- I told ya, I made-I had a few buddies in high-between the school life… but the point is, you know, yeah. I did not-I just did not have that many guy friends. [pause] It just never happened for me.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I mean, but was it because… of you, your biasness, or just because… I don’t know.
 '''Chris:''' I would say it would contribute to my autism. You know…
 '''Kacey:''' Autism doesn’t make you hate genders, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' [yelling] Oh, forget about genders! It’s like, you know I rarely talk to pe-autistic people rarely talk to other people, and they rarely…
 '''Kacey:''' That’s bullshit, you know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, yes, they have social problems, but… I mean, you’re talking to me now. I have experience with this. Don’t try to bullshit me and play that card.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, but I’m just saying, it’s like, you know… it was more… It’s like, okay, growing up I had the girls in the neighborhood. I was introduced to the girls and they were nice to me, they were friendly to me, and…
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, and who’s to say the guys wouldn’t be? Maybe you just didn’t do a lot of guy things. Maybe you were too girly for them or something. Cause that’s the only way I could see, like, little boys picking on another boy. [pause]
 '''Chris:''' I have do-I have done boy things. I’ve played sports.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' You know, like basketball, volleyball, baseball…
 '''Kacey:''' Volleyball’s not really I guy-sport. That’s really a girl-sport.
 '''Chris:''' [interrupting] Soccer! Soccer. I’ve played a foot-I’ve played a little football.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, then you should’ve been able to talk to lots of, you know, other boys your age. [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and all consider this: my father, he just constantly picked and picked on my nerves. He calls it teach me how to spaaaaar argumentatively and in talking. He just-he just called it that excuse. But, because of like, you know, he has to put it in that sense… it just, pretty much, paints a very sharp-very sharp, high-definition picture in my head about how boys would likely…
 '''Kacey:''' That’s just your dad, Chris! That doesn’t represent every male in society. Maybe he’s just trying to be your father. Maybe he’s just trying to teach you something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but still, I mean like, you know… and also, I have watched television and I have often seen…
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, we’ve talked about this. Television does not equal real life. You can’t use it as a basis.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, but, you know, you definitely find in real life that… uh… men often do pick fights, in real life.
 '''Kacey:''' No! Women pick more fights than men do. It’s what women do. I mean… you’ve gotta be kidding. Haven’t you ever heard of a catfight?
 '''Chris:''' I’ve heard catfights.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, women are way more evil, of the two genders, I promise you.
 '''Chris:''' Now that’s-now that’s stupid. No, no, no…
 '''Kacey:''' That’s not stupid at all! [chuckles] Obviously, you haven’t been around women enough. I mean, I’m a woman, I would know these things.
 '''Chris:''' I have been around woman a lot in my lifetime, believe me. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, I just don’t think you could speak for that unless you’re a woman, and you’re not a woman, are you?
 '''Chris:''' No, I am not.
 '''Kacey:''' Then you wouldn’t really know, now would you?
 '''Chris:''' I guess that-would not know, I’m not a mind reader. [pause, belches] Excuse me.
 '''Kacey:''' You’re excused. But, I mean, I, yeah, I think Kim’s right. I think you should go out and get some more guy friends.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, okay, you’re a guy too. Have you ever started a fight?
 '''Chris:''' L-let me ponder about that… that would be diving into my memories, right there.
 '''Kacey:''' H-how can you ponder about it? You’ve either started a fight or you haven’t. If you’re saying “all guys start fights,” then you should’ve.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah, okay, well, I have-I have started fights, in retrospect. In return, I have picked on my father’s nerves, and gotten to start argument-and started fights with him.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, how?
 '''Chris:''' You know-you know, it’s like, you know… I don’t know. It’s… like a current topic that comes up… I just… I don’t know, I just… find a nerve-I just randomly find a nerve that he’s bothered about and… uh… it’s like, you know, I end up picking on that and then he-and then he raises his voice at me, and then we get into an argument.
 '''Kacey:''' You know, that sounds like stuff women do, but can you give me an example?
 '''Chris:''' [high-pitched yelling] I… just gave you an example!
 '''Kacey:''' You didn’t give me a real one, like you didn’t tell me like, what you said.
 '''Chris:''' [still frustrated] Well, I don’t remember all the audio details.
 '''Kacey:''' You don’t remember any details.
 '''Chris:''' I do. I remember…
 '''Kacey:''' Don’t raise your voice at me.
 '''Chris:''' I remember-I remember details. It’s just, they’re mostly photographic. I can’t-it’s like, you know, I don’t ‘member spoken words or what I said.
 '''Kacey:''' Pho… [sighs] never mind.
 '''Chris:''' But, ye- I mean, but, yeah, it’s like, you know, when it really sinks in, I can-I can remember what was said. When it really sinks in.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, okay, have you ever started a physical fight, like you accuse other boys of doing? [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I can honestly say I have not started a physical fight, even though I was physically beat on myself a few times in my life.
 '''Kacey:''' Did you swing back? I mean, did you do anything? [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did fi-I did fight back. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' When? Like, do you know of a time when you did that?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know this one-yeah, I know the one time when on the scho-on the… uh… school bus, on the way home. It’s like, you know, I was a constant-I was, like, in constant... you know, I was sitting in the front seat of the bus, and this guy was sitting across the aisle, in the front seat as well… and uh… it’s like, you know, we were in constant competition with each other, and then when he… and then-and one of those times, when he really wanted to really get the jump on me and be the first out of the bus… it’s like, you know… yeah, he gave me-he gave me a physical… hit in the… hit in the-I don’t remember exactly where. But, yeah-but, yeah. Then I pun-then I punched back and then… and then… a couple more punches and then… he kno-he punched me so hard in the face, it knocked my glasses off. He knocked my glasses off! [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Well, did you bleed?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I did bleed.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, from your nose or something? Or your lip?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I had a few bleed spots from my face. I think-yeah, I had a nosebleed.
 '''Kacey:''' What did your parents do? O-or was that when they took you off the bus and put you on the bus short?
 '''Chris:''' That was when-right after that happened, they took me off the regular bus and they put me on the stupid handicapped bus.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, you got to leave class a little early. Wasn’t that cool?
 '''Chris:''' No, I did not have to leave class early. I left cla-I left class at the same time as everybody else.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Buses-all the buses left at the same time.
 '''Kacey:''' Sorry, most schools… uh… those buses leave earlier.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah, those-those buses did not leave earlier. They left at the same time. [pause] Anyway, I-anyway, I did-anyway, I cared not-I cared not care much for any of those handicapped bus rides, especially with the one reta-
 '''Kacey:''' Why?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I can definitely name you a few reasons, like there was this one [stutters] …there was this one slow-minded individual named Tony. He was like as big as-he was as big and strong as an ox. He just kept on making all the moanings and noises and whatnot, and he sometimes even-even-a couple of times he even spat on me, and he even bopped me on the back of the head once or twice during the whole-during the whole time I knew him there.
 '''Kacey:''' Why didn’t-why didn’t you just move?
 '''Chris:''' I was sitting in my usual seat, you know, front…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, why didn’t you just move? [pause] I mean, if somebody’s doing that to you, isn’t it common sense to move?
 '''Chris:''' I did not want to move. My constant-my con…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then it didn’t really matter that much…
 '''Chris:''' My con… [quickly quiets down] My constant…
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-uh.
 '''Chris:''' I’m talking. My constant routine…
 '''Kacey:''' Doesn’t mean you need to…
 '''Chris:''' …was riding on the right side of the bus.
 '''Kacey:''' [sternly] Don’t you. Don’t you! Stop! You raise your voice at me again and I will-I will leave this phone call.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, but still. It was my constant routine that I ride on the right side of the bus, on the front seat, and this guy was, like, two seats behind me.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well then he really shouldn’t have been able to reach you, and even then, if it was bothering you that much, couldn’t you tell the bus driver or just move? Would it really have killed you to move?
 '''Chris:''' Actually, no. Uh… yeah, I did-I did not like breaking my routine-oh, wait. I did eventually move. But, any-but, yeah, I did tell the bus driver. I also told the special aide… person that rode on the bus practically every bus ride. I did not care for much-much for her either. I mean, like, you know, I tried being friendly-I tried being friends with her, but… still, it’s like, you know, she was all-all butch and…
 '''Kacey:''' Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Very forceful. It’s like, you know, I just didn’t care much for her.
 '''Kacey:''' What do you mean “she was all butch?”
 '''Chris:''' You know, she constantly raised her voice, for one thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe she was just trying to establish authority. But, how does that make her butch?
 '''Chris:''' Her tone of voice was butch.
 '''Kacey:''' A-are you saying she had a deep voice?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, she did have a deep voice. Yes she did.
 '''Kacey:''' Have you ever thought of writing these stories down in the CWCipedia, so that people might be able to understand you more? You know, see what you’ve gone through?
 '''Chris:''' I can’t think of everything for me to put on the Cwcipedia, and plus that kind of information is one that-only the trolls would just mock me about. “Oh, you rode on the handicapped bus! You were…”
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but you’re… okay, but the trolls already know that, don’t they? Wh-maybe if you put these stories on there, your fans would appreciate you more.
 '''Chris:''' I’ll think about it. I’ll think about that. [pause] Yeah, it’s a whole-so much-so many stories in my lifetime I-and I do remember them all. It’s just, you know, most of them are buried in my head, and it would take me a while…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean… well, how about… uh… old essays from high school, you know, so even-at least I could see more of your high school life? Like old English essays or something?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I have some of those.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I would definitely be interested in seeing those on the CWCipedia soon.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. I will definitely think about that and… uh… and I will consider putting-putting-looking-finding those and putting those in the CWCipedia, and I emphasize finding those…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, don’t think about it. I wasn’t you to do that, okay. Can you do that for me?
 '''Chris:''' I’ll put up a few on the CWCipedia, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Thank you. Thank you. That means a lot to me.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. [pauses, then sighs] Yeah, I’m kind of tired right now. Ummm… is it okay if we end-if we end-end it for now, tonight? We can talk-we can talk again tomorrow night.
 '''Kacey:''' No, that’s fine.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well you take care. Stay safe.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Talk to you later.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, bye.

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 8]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 10]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 8

2014-05-23T03:51:10Z

Export A: Added Video

'''Kacey Call 8''' is a talk between Chris and [[Kacey]], taking place on the second of [[September 2009]].

==Summary==
Chris says he found out that he can earn up to $980 a month at a [[job]] and still collect welfare. Kacey and Chris talk about ''Hannah Montana'' and then the subject moves to ''[[Seinfeld]]'', ''[[Family Guy]]'', and ''Friends'' where Chris and Kacey get in a little argument about a comment about Chris being like a "George Costanza of [[Sonichu]]". There's some brief mentioning of [[Wikipedia:Lines in the Sand (House)|an episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:House (TV series)|House]]'' featuring an [[autistic]] child as well as some [[YouTube]] hentai that Chris doesn't remember favorite-ing or leaving a comment on because he was [[Christopher]] at the time. After a few awkward and stressful moments, Chris admits that he believes that he has gotten rid of Christopher and when he thinks about it now, he believes that Kacey was right and that he didn't actually ever have multiple personality disorder, but instead, he was being possessed by a ghost of the trolls who have died. His best guess is either [[BlueSpike|Max Milvana]] or [[Clyde Cash]]. Chris gets "thousands" of [[troll]] calls a day and thinks that Kacey and Kim should get new phone plans so that they don't come in as restricted/unknown and he can answer safely (Kacey says not to hold his breath). The call ends with Kacey becoming angry at Chris for telling another girl that Kacey "wasn't his sweetheart YET" but that "they were warming up to the idea". Chris plans to turn Kacey into his [[Sweetheart From the Ground-Up]]. Kacey states that they are only friends and that's all they will ever be; Chris is very disappointed and states that he only told the other girl that because it was "wishful thinking".

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 8
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|3BBfqL5Llrc}}
| Stardate = 2 September 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 7]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 9]]
}} </center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kace, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I’m ok, just a little tired. How are you?
 '''Chris:''' Ahh, I’m ok. Yeah, I got some good news though, in case Kac-Kim hasn’t told you. My fath- my fam- my father and me went down to the social security office. Apparently, I can earn 980 dollars in a month at a job and it would not affect my social security.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s good. Is that just for the trial period?
 '''Chris:''' It’s you know… in general.
 '''Kacey:''' So…that’s forever?
 '''Chris:''' Prob- Likely so.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh! Well that’s great news. See? Now go get a job. You can do it. That’s awesome. I’m glad you found that out.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah… even though I pretty much have taken care of Walmart over the internet. I’m going to personally go to Target tomorrow, as well as McDonald’s, maybe Toys R Us, or maybe a place in the mall, a couple- I’m not sure a-about those other places. Yeah, I’ll definitely be going out to turn out applications tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s good. That’s good. Um…I’m happy about that. Like what did you want to do? Like maybe, just be a door greeter or something?
 '''Chris:''' If I could, I’d like to be either a stock shelfer- a shelf stocker or a cashier. Or ev- or even.
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] Oh yeah, if you stock shelves, you can work on those muscles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, or even be, you know, just be- mopping the- just janitorial work. I’d be- I wouldn’t mind doing that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yeah, that’s good. I mean, th-that’s a good humble position. I hope you get it. Umm... just remember you’re going to have to listen to authority if you do that [chuckles]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s ok. I can- I can take direction as long as it’s, you know, [pause and sigh], as it’s at a certain level of forcefulness. Umm... as long as it doesn’t give the impression of major threat, something like that. But yeah, I can follow direction easily enough.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yeah, that’s good. Well definitely good luck on that and keep me posted.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I will. Hmm, so yah have some- a class or two today?
 '''Kacey:''' Of course I did. Yeah, I have classes Monday thru Friday
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s right. Yeah you do. And then you go to work right? Yup
 '''Kacey:''' Yep. Well today I didn’t go to work. I did some laundry and some house-work.
 '''Chris:''' That’s good. [pause] That’s good to have some time to yourself. Um ('''Kacey:''' Yes) anyway, did some laundry, did some house-work… Um... didn’t you say you were living with a room-mate?
 '''Kacey:'''Ah, yes I do have room-mates. I decided dorm-life wasn’t for me.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, dorm-life? So you’re not living in a dorm?
 '''Kacey:''' Nope.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, um… Is this like… you’re living in your own house?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, we’re renting. It’s just an apartment. It’s pretty small.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. You moved, so you’re in an apartment now.
 '''Kacey:''' Ah, yeah. You know, cuz it’s the start of the semester.
 '''Chris:''' I’m sorry, what was that?
 '''Kacey:''' Cuz I moved, at the start of the semester.
 '''Chris:''' Oh you moved- oh ok. Yeah, I remember we talked earlier about you-you’re living with your room-mate and uh-b-borrowing your room-mates PS3 and whatever
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Like that rules out that messa- communication to your room-mate’s PS3 if you don’t have a room-mate right now [chuckles like he’s made a joke]. Well at least you still have your Wii. ('''Kacey:''' Yes) You know, we can talk through that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes
 '''Chris:''' You know, Yeah have you updated with the recent updates? It’s an update-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] No, actually I haven’t. It’s still glowing blue. I’m uh, I’m you know, I just haven’t really touch it lately, I’ve been busy.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah you know, one of the updates I’ve noticed on my Wii, I-I keep it and my Play Station 3 up to date. Y-You know in addition to the t-text messages, you can also send 10 second voice messages.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that’s cool.
 '''Chris:''' Y-yeah, you have to have the Wii speak for that. You know, it comes with Animal Crossing, by the way, I have that.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well I don’t. I mean, I got the game, but I didn’t get like the pack with the Wii Speak.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, You’d need the Wii Speak for ah… for the 10 second recording. [pause] Anyway, um, let me see… what else, what else. OH yeah, I, ah return Labyrinth today, but I- guess I- guess what I rented for a dollar? It ca-came into the fam-It came into the dollar section last time, I noticed, when I rented Labyrinth.
 '''Kacey:''' Ah, my other favorite movie, Dark Crystal?
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Dark Crys- Ah no. I don’t think you mentioned Dark Crystal. If you did I might have forgotten it… Anyway, no not Dark Crystal, I rented Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, cool. Hannah Montana. But yeah, you must have forgotten about Dark Crystal.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' A-Aren’t you worried about being 27 and renting a Hannah Montana Movie though?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, not too much. [Stutters] I-It’ll-It- not too much.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, she is underage.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I don’t have THOSE thoughts about her, I do not. I’m serious.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but still. I’m just saying. You know, like me, I’m a girl, but don’t you worry about what people think when the see a 27 year old man coming up with Hannah Montana?
 '''Chris:''' I liked her music, so it’s like, I, you know, want to hear a little bit more of it. Of what I’ve heard, which isn’t very much.
 '''Kacey:'''[At a loss for words] Ah, ok well. A-as long as your comfortable with it. You know it’s just, some people would think it’s kind of gay.
 '''Chris:''' Well… [Pause] Yeah, it’s like you know… I think I’ve told you before how… It’s like I have a mind set of a younger age a-at most of the time, even though I have the body of a 20-adult. So it’s like, you know, I like to enjoy the a current young type things you know, my children will be enjoying themselves.
 '''Kacey:'''[Long pause] Well I mean, yeah, it’s good to have nostalgia and everything. Like sometimes, I’ll watch old things like Jem or Care Bears or something. But you still have to grow up. I mean, y-you know, it can’t rule your life.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, like, I should be watching more House or The Office.
 '''Kacey:''' I-If those are things you enjoy. You don’t have to do everything just because I do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I do enjoy ''[[Seinfeld]]'' and ''[[Family Guy]]'' and… I enjoy those adult comedies.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s good.
 '''Chris:''' [''Long pause''] You know, I can-can’t just quote ''[[Seinfeld]]'' off the top of my head, it would have to just randomly come to me from memory. [Giggles] You know what? George always struck me as funny you know, he’s like the quirky guy that’s just, you know, being himself but yet nobody really likes him that much.
 '''Kacey:''' So do you identify with him?
 '''Chris:''' Uh yes, in like, you know, yeah, r-related to me, like similar life style and yeah fairly much so yeah I’ll-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] So, So you’re like the George Costanza of Sonichu I guess.
 '''Chris:''' [Offended] No. I had not even thought of that and the thought of that just, just does not register with me.
 '''Kacey:''' But you just said you identify with him.
 '''Chris:''' [Huffs and sighs] George Costanza of Sonichu. That’s a worse image to imagine than those, t-the retarded open mouthed [adds ‘retarded’ voice] “Hey look at me. I’m some kind of idiot” [returns to normal voice] Sonichu fan drawing somebody, I recall somebody else doing-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] What?! Ar-Ar I-It was just a joke. Are you trying to make fun of me? ('''Chris:''' No) I mean, that’s insulting.
 '''Chris:''' No. I’m not making fun of you.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean, you can’t make fun of people like that. We’ve been through this before. What are you doing?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. I was just saying the image…of a George Costanza Sonichu, it just does not appeal to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, yeah. But don’t call people retarded like that. That was uncalled for. I don’t even know where that came from.
 '''Chris:''' [Stress sigh] If you noticed on the ED page, there is a whole bunch of questionable fanart…where it’s mostly-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] Chris! I thought-I thought you didn’t like the ED page. Why do you keep telling me to go to it? I mean if all the stuff, in your life...
 '''Chris:''' [Tries to cut in but Kacey talks over him]
 '''Kacey:''' No, just stop. Stop! You talk about it all the time, you need to let it go.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I do hate it. I’m just saying, like you know, I have seen it before. I have seen it-
 '''Kacey:''' [Cuts in] Yeah, but like every other phone call you keep talking about it. “Kacey go look at it. Kacey go look at it.” I thought you didn’t want me to.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I do not want you to look at it. I-I don’t have to talk about it. B-But I’m just saying…don’t… They just made me look stupid. Th-Those artists are just drawing those to make me look stupid
 '''Kacey:''' Whichever.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, umm… We can talk about more pleasant things ah… Yeah. I got- umm…My tugboat came in early-um came in earlier... ah so I invested a dollar nine, I invested a little bit of it and downloaded that to a House I told you about.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok
 '''Chris:''' Season 3 episode 4 Lines in the Sand.
 '''Kacey:''' Right
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s the one with the autistic child. I told you about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, yeah you did. Th-There’s a lot better episodes though.
 '''Chris:''' [Sounds dejected] Hm... Though still I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [Talks over] But House is pretty good all the way around.
 '''Chris:''' Ok, yeah, yeah. That’s good that you enjoy House. Yeah. I can enjoy- I can enjoy it more…I mean yeah, I can get into that you know-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] Well um, I see that you’ve um... favorited some new videos. Um... there’s one Anime that I actually really like. Um, so, I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Parappa the Rapper
 '''Kacey:''' Nooo, the [[wiki:Welcome to the NHK|Welcome to the NHK]].
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Wait. Umm...
 '''Kacey:''' You don’t know what videos you favorited?
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Hm, I put, a like you know, so like umm…. Wait, ok. Was this a recent add to my favorite list? The ah, Welcome to the N-
 '''Kacey:''' Yes!
 '''Chris:''' I don’t even remember. I do not even remember that one. I hope nobody is hacking into my pla-my youtube again.
 '''Kacey:''' Bu-But you left-
 '''Chris:''' I’ll have to take a look at that.
 '''Kacey:''' But you left a comment…I mean it’s…
 '''Chris:''' [Long pause] I do not remember that. [Small pause] Oh my god, I hope nobody’s got into my Youtube again… I’ll have to take a look at that when we finish up here.
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, I’m pretty sure everything’s ok. I mean, you left some weird comment saying that it had something to do with Christopher or something. I mean, d-do you do things that you don’t remember?
 '''Chris:''' If I, If I did, If [Stress Sigh] I don’t know.
 '''Kacey:''' I’m going to take that as a Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I don’t know. I mean, if I did…and I wasn’t suppose to, and if I didn’t know it after the fact I did it... it would definitely be like, you know, I don’t know. And-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] But, uh, I guess- I guess does Christopher know?
 '''Chris:''' No, I willed him away Monday night. I have not heard from him since. I mean- I mean you were right, it was just a possession. I was being possessed… probably by a trolling site- probably by a ghost of one of the past trolls that died.
 '''Kacey:''' [Astonished] W-What?! What do you think it is?
 '''Chris:''' A-A What you told me, you know, p- I was being possessed otherwise I, otherwise yeah. I mean, I was aware, I was aware what was going on with that other guy so, yeah. It definitively was not a split personality. I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' [Talks over Chris] Well I mean, there’s a comment that, that read “I want out Christian.” So you think it’s the ghost of a troll that died? Which troll?
 '''Chris:''' I don’t know. There’s like a number, there’s like a number of them. Like I don’t… I can name two off the top of my head. Max Milvania, who posed as Julie during that Julie fiasco and then there’s Clyde Cash.
 '''Kacey:''' W-Well I mean, from what you told me… I thought Max was alive, I thought Clyde was the only one who was dead. You think it’s Clyde!
 '''Chris:''' I do-I don’t know everything. I don’t know. I’m just speaking theories right now. I don’t know for sure.
 '''Kacey:''' W-What happens if he’s still in you? Oh my gosh!
 '''Chris:''' [Stress sigh] A-Anyway… hm
 '''Kacey:''' NO! This is scary. Oh my gosh!
 '''Chris:''' [Dramatic sigh] It is scary. But anyway I-I-I wil- I willed that second guy out of my head Monday night and I have not heard from him since.
 '''Kacey:''' But I thought you talked about him the other day…I mean, are you sure? I mean, if it’s really that strong of a possession it could be tricking you. Maybe that’s why you’re going blank. I mean, you talked about this yesterday. So, you couldn’t have sworn it off on Monday.

==Part 2==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|0DJNRbNYc1E}}</Center>
 '''Chris:''' [Long pause] No, I willed it away W-I-L-L.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, you couldn’t have willed it away though cuz you were mentioning this yesterday. Ok. Well, let’s just hope that it is gone.
 '''Chris:''' [Starts stuttering] No, no, no, no, yeah we- I mean we weren’t – I mean yeah, we were talking about it yesterday. But it’s like, you know, I wasn’t sure I had willed it away completely. I wanted to make sure, like you know, by waiting, you know, a couple of days to a week before I fin- before I make a final statement around my theory of having willed it away- having will-willing that guy away was true or not.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, ok. I-I’m not quite sure that makes sense, but ok.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like you know, You want to make sure-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should still see that doctor, you know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I’m gonna, Yeah, I’m gonna, Yeah, I’m gonna
 '''Kacey:''' Have you made an appointment? Or have you seen someone?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I made an appointment with Doctor McGovern. And ah, yeah I’m- yeah yeah. I’m going to talk to him and I’ll
 '''Kacey:''' You’re going to see him soon?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, and I’m also going to ask him about the a, about the gym membership discount.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that’s good, that’s good. I hope you can get one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that, that would be good. By the way, I’ve mentioned to my mother, but not my father, about my shop, my shopping for sports bra.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I-I don’t think that, I’m not sure your dad would be comfortable about that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, my mom, my mom was more understanding about that topic.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh? So your mom agreed?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [Pause] She did.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you are older, so you don’t have to tell them anything, you don’t have to tell them everything Chris. Especially with adult decisions like that. You can’t go running around-
 '''Chris:''' [Tries to talk over Kacey] Yeah bu, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I m-I mean
 '''Kacey:''' But, I’m glad she agreed with you.
 '''Chris:''' You know, I feel- I feel like my mom should know since, you know. I’m going to start exercising-I’m going to start going out and start jogging. But then I had- I told her before about my man-boobs and my concern about them. So then there’s like, you know, I wanted to let her know that, you know, I do notice that when I move about quickly I do shake about a lot so that bothers me. So I’m in the market for a sports bra a-and she agreed with me on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well as long as sh-she agreed.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [Long Pause] Hmm... but yeah, shopping for vegetables. Yeah, I can definitely go to the grocery store and get more ah, get more fresh, more fresh produce instead of going out to a fast food restaurant, even though it might be a little bit more pricey.
 '''Kacey:''' Right, right. But eating healthy is like that. Um, so what kind of vegetables are you going to get?
 '''Chris:''' You know, definitely fresher salad. You said Romaine, Roman, Romaine ('''Kacey:'''Romaine Lettuce? Yeah.) Contains more than regular lettuce.
 '''Kacey:''' Right, like regular lettuce is mainly just roughage and water. Like, the best thing is Mixed Field Greens.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Mixed Field Greens. Yeah you did mention that. Mixed Field Greens, I remember. Yeah, Mixed Field Greens or yeah salad with Romaine Lettuce. O-Ok. How about tomatoes?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, of course tomatoes are good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, crushed tomatoes. How about-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, well I mean, just stay, just stay away from things in cans. Like, it’s ok every so often, but, um you know, there’s a lot of sodium in there. And even if you get the lower sodium kinds it’s still not as good and it doesn’t have as many nutrients.
 '''Chris:''' Well, o-ok, well st- but I’m talking about like, if I go to the grocery store and they have a little mini-salad bar where I can make my own salad. I could find- and they have like the Romaine Lettuce and then I’m just- you know individual vegetables that I could put into my salad.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, remember, just salads aren’t all you can do. You know, um...you know you could, you know, get certain types of vegetables you could cook with.
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean raw is good. I mean, have you ever thought of trying tofu?
 '''Chris:''' I’ve heard of tofu, and I’m not really sure about it.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I love tofu. I add tofu to salads. I add it to everything.
 '''Chris:''' You add tofu to your salads.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, and you should, ah, try soy milk.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, m-m-my mom and I, we drink, ahhhh, we drink soy milk.
 '''Kacey:''' OH, you already drink soy milk.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Silk. Th-That brand of soy mil-brand of soy milk, Silk. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, ok.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but my mom generally likes to get the chocolate flavored soy milk, Silk.
 '''Kacey:''' So, do you drink it a lot?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I drink it sometimes. Yeah, I could drink it more.
 '''Kacey:''' You should… Um ok, you should try to get the regular white one. You shouldn’t always get chocolate all the time.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. I’ll kee- I will keep that in mind.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Ok. [Pause and Chris starts to mumble and talk under his breath] Hmm... so always eat tofu and you... You mentioned soy milk ah yeah, let’s continue on from there. What’s your next suggestion?
 '''Kacey:''' Ummm. Ok, well you should eat a lot of, let’s see here… um definitely a lot of dark leafy vegetables, like kale and collards and stuff, in moderation of course. Because those have fiber and a lot of vitamins you need.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Kale and Collard?
 '''Kacey:''' Collards, yeah. And mustard greens, turnip greens…
 '''Chris:''' Oh. I like turnip greens. I’ve never heard of mustard greens though.
 '''Kacey:''' Th-They all pretty much taste the same.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well, I used to confuse turnip greens with spinach.
 '''Kacey:''' Really? Totally different taste.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, different taste but I used to you know, because the got- th-they both just have that dark shade of green
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Umm.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, remember Chris, I’m not a doctor or a nurse yet, I mean... you can Google these things and they’ll give you a lot of information on vegetables and stuff. J-Just remember, only eating vegetables is bad too. You need to have balance and everything.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand that balance. Yes, yeah so I’ll eat some fruits as well so yeah. Let’s talk about fruits. Um. I-I think you can agree, with like apples, bananas, oranges, lemons for lemonade.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh yeah, th-that… Definitely, definitely citrus fruits are good. Ah, you should try to eat grapefruit every morning.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Ok, yeah, grapefruit. Um, ok, I’ll, well. How about, let’s see, strawberries…?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, berries are good too. You should eat a lot of blueberries.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, more blueberries than strawberries?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, if you... You should eat a lot of blueberries.
 '''Chris:''' Ok. You know- you know they put ah blueberries and strawberries in McDonald’s, in they a parfait. I’m just saying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean, um, you could also get those types of juices, like the natural ones. I mean they’re pretty expensive but their worth it. Like the berry goodness one’s really good and so is the green one. It’s got like kiwi… It’s got fruits and vegetables in it.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, ok, wait a minute. Juices?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean like a juice or a smoothie in the morning is good, cuz ah you don’t want ah- eat too much at breakfast but like I told you. You want to do like five little meals everyday at least.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. I’ve tried smoothies… I like those. We got- we- I-you know I get a smoothie, you know, every once in a whi-once in a while we’ll get a smoothie from Sheetz. They’re pretty good. Fresh fruit smoothies. I generally like the ah-
 '''Kacey:''' Well just remember you don’t want it to be an unhealthy smoothie. Like, there’s this place in the suburbs that I like to go to and they have this health shake and it’s got like wheat germ and fruits and stuff in it and it’s got nothing, like sugary, in it. It’s really good.
 '''Chris:''' Ok. Yeah, definitely local-l-local, local smoothie shops. Yeah, can agree with you on that. I can definitely name one around here that you know, you might find next time you’re in town, unless- if you feel like it’s the same kind of place you got um [unintelligible] at lunch and I found. ('''Kacey:''' Huh?) You know the advance cards, you know the advance card that comes out like every September, aaand [starts being incoherent] sticks em out for a life, but their good for a year and it has all these discounts and whatnot?
 '''Kacey:''' Uhuh
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, but anyway, They have one on the new one I just got. It’s called a tropical smoothie buffet, ('''Kacey:''' Uhuh), if you wanna go shopping there, Joshua introduced me to it to him. Very good wraps and smoothies there as well.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh that’s good, but um, you should also talk to your doctor about getting on a vitamin diet plan. I mean, y-you just take vitamins every day, like calcium and iron and vitamin b at least.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I was on vitamins for a while years, uh, a few years ago but then I… I just didn’t feel like taking them and I just stopped on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait. You can’t do that. I mean, that’ll hurt your body. I mean, sometimes we do need supplements.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. I’m just saying, like I you know, I did- it was like this box of multiple vitamins, you know, like 30 packets and you get like one pill of each vitamin, and uh, in th-in th-in the one, in the one packet and you take those one at a time. You can find them at CVS, but I forget what the brand name is though.
 '''Kacey:''' But, ya, you know those may not be not exactly what you need, like you should talk with your doctor. You might have to get your vitamins, you know, separately and everything. Cuz some of those packs, the-they’re-they just put them there to make money. Like, you should actually go to a place that specializes in vitamins.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, ok. Anyway getting back to this smoothie café for a moment though. On the coupon, on the advance card it allows me ten percent off any wrap, sandwich, or smoothie.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, ok.
 '''Chris:''' That’s a good deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but you know, don’t, don’t, don’t uh, jeopardize you health just because it’s a good deal. I mean your health is worth way more than that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I kn-I just wanted to get that away while I had the card in my hand.
 '''Kacey:''' And besides…you know, some calcium things, they have calcium chews now. So I mean, th-there’s like so many things you can do.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, you said calcium chews?
 '''Kacey:''' Chews? Yeah. I use those.
 '''Chris:''' Ok. Yeah, calcium chew… Alright. Hmm, ah shoot. OH, yeah, Would you agree to yogurt?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, yogurt is really good but you have to watch out with how many flavors you get cuz then that’s when they add the sugar. Um, cottage cheese and fruit would probably be better. But yogurt’s good every so often.
 '''Chris:''' Ok, well just for record though I’ve- I have actually tried cottage cheese before and I jus- and I do not like it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I don’t blame you, but it’s still better, I mean, you could also put it in smoothies with fruit. I mean, you could do that with yogurt too. And then you can’t taste it as much. But you’ve gotta use the plain yogurt, you don’t want the ones with added sugars.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. Plain yogurt.
 '''Kacey:''' And, and some of the ones, even if they’re diet, they still, like, they still can mess you up when they have like Splenda and stuff in them.
 '''Chris:''' Ahh, what and stuff?
 '''Kacey:''' Splenda. You know, like the fake sugars.
 '''Chris:''' Splenda. Oh Splenda. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' It tricks your body and you shouldn’t have a lot of it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. Not a lot of Splenda. [Chuckles] Had a lot of Splenda. [Long Pause] Hmm. Ok, let me think a moment. [Long awkward pause]
 '''Kacey:''' So, anything else on your mind?
 '''Chris:''' Ok, well yeah. I’m pretty much taking in everything we talk about so far. I’m trying to think of a b- of- I’m trying to think of the a-the- a new- something new- good something new to talk about. Umm.
 '''Kacey:''' What ab- what about Sonichu? How are you doing on Sonichu?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Because, you know, I had to go downtown today with my family and social security, I was- I couldn’t get another page done today but… Yeah, yeah I’ll try to get some more pages done tomorrow.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, that’s good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, definitely, yeah, you know, I should keep in my mind, you know, I originally started it as a hobby so I should continue it as a hobby, I should not let the trolls try luring me down.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Y-you know, their ridicules and all that. Yeah, I was just talking to Kim about, like you know, how to deal with- how to cope with the ah, stress from the trolls. You know, I-I got- Oh by the way, I should let you know, umm, I-I’m on a cell phone plan where I can talk air-time free between 9 and 6, 8, 9pm and 6am and on the weekends.
 '''Kacey:''' That sounds like every cell phone plan.
== Part 3 ==

<Center>{{#ev:youtube|PFkLlnWstDI}}</Center>
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. But any- Yeah. Anyway after 9 o’clock, I checked my voice- I check my voice messages and de- and delete a majority of them which, you know, also where troll messages anyway. And then, you know, I get to the few incoming calls from familiar troll numbers, or otherwise stri- or otherwise restricted. And, ah, unavailable numbers, which by the way, I know Kim does not call me til the 10 o’clock hour except she said sometime between 9 and 10pm tonight?
 '''Kacey:''' Well what are you going to do if we call you anytime else?
 '''Chris:''' Hm, yeah, I do have my phone on silent and… just ignore them.
 '''Kacey:''' Bu-But what happens if-No, what happens Kim or I try to call you any other time? Like, what if it’s just to say, ‘Hey, I can’t talk to you later.’ Or something? I mean is it just because you don’t have enough minutes?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no no. It’s just like, you know, I get too many incoming troll calls. I mean they’re coming in by the thousands, even if it’s from- I mean, you know, just the number of calls, not the number of people. I get them in the hundreds to thousands [Stutters]. I-It’s been piling up lately it’s-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you should start blocking those numbers.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but most of them are restricted or unavailable and you can’t and you can’t block those. If you know how, if-if you don’t know the number to block then there you go…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, technically you can but I don’t think you should if you wanna talk to us and stuff, you know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I, Yeah I know, Yeah. And I have not been able to figure out the blocking option on my phone. I thought I was close, but I rec- but I needed a password and I do not know the four-digit password.
 '''Kacey:''' You don’t know the password on your own phone?
 '''Chris:''' Not at the current moment I do not.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I guess you’re just going to have to deal with them, you know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I’ll just, ah, listen to my messages and delete them. But anyway, you know, between you and Kim y’all work on your way on voicemail you know. Hm, I’m going to check those- I’m going to check those probably during the afternoon hours, I could. Ye- you know, yeah, you and Kim can just leave me a message on my voicemail, I’ll get it.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I guess. But you know, it-it’s just frustrating, like sometimes when, you know, like when I was at the mall and I couldn’t reach you. I mean, I don’t know, you just do whatever you feel is best.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. There’ll be-There’ll be- I feel it’ll be much better, you know, yeah, yeah, try and see if you can life the restricted thing off your phone or get a new cell phone. And th-that pretty much goes for Kim too, you know, so then I can-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts] Well, you know I can’t because of my parents. So I wouldn’t bank on that anytime soon.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. I know but I’m just putting that out there. You could probably do it in the future, not right now. Yeah, you understand. Anyway, yeah you know, just make it so I can actually read your number and then I’ll know it’s you. Every time.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean like, you know, currently I’m expecting you and Kim to call me, you know, respectively during the 10 and 11 o’clock hour.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you know, we-we do have lives Chris. I mean, sometimes that’s just not going to work.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well you know, y’all could send me like, an e-mail, early in the day. I check my e-mail about early afternoon.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, well that’s great, but I mean you know since we’re FRIENDS, you know, you’re going to have to make some effort too. So I mean… you know…And speaking of us being friends, Kim told me something interesting. Umm, you know this girl named Scout?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yes, yes, yes Scout, she ah-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, apparently YOU had an e-mail telling her that I wasn’t your sweetheart YET, but we were warming up to each other. What did you mean by that?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, well I was just saying…I was… [Long awkward pause] Hmm... let me think a moment… [Another long pause] I ah, um, Scout and I were gonna meet up- were eventually going to meet together and you know, hang out, but-but then it just never up.
 '''Kacey:''' That-that may be true, but that doesn’t have anything to do with what you told her. You know I’m still in love with MY Chris. You know I’m still going through a lot. So why would you tell people things like this. I mean, what did you mean by that? That we’re warming up to each other. And yet.
 '''Chris:''' I-I mean warming up to each other as-as friends.
 '''Kacey:''' You said I wasn’t your sweetheart YET. How hard is it to understand, that right now, we are friends.
 '''Chris:''' I-I understand det-
 '''Kacey:''' [Talks over Chris] Just say we’re friends. It’s like you’re trying to mold me into something, or trap me. That’s not cool. I mean what happens if ('''Chris:''' I’m sorry) we’re forever friends.
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] Hmmm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, what happens if I’m in love with Chris forever? I mean, what happens if, even though the circumstances are horrible, he’s my true one?
 '''Chris:''' Well… do you really feel that way right now?
 '''Kacey:''' Right now I do. And that’s why it hurts so much.
 '''Chris:''' Well, if you really want to go out and find him, I will not send you away.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I know, just yo-you- we need to be friends, Chris. You need to tell people we’re friends. You can’t plot behind my back like that.
 '''Chris:''' [Dejected] Ok. I’m sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, how hard is it say friends?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s not hard. But it’s called wishful thinking…
 '''Kacey:''' I-I know but the thing is it- it’s wishful, you should keep it to yourself. I mean, if something happens, it does. But if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. The thing is that, you’ll… You just can’t do that. I mean, that’s going to make me angry and push me away. And you need to be respectful of my feelings and how much I love someone else. Even if he can’t be with me.
 '''Chris:''' [Stressful Sigh] Yeah, I understand and I’m sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I hope you do, cuz you know, that just irritates me that you’re doing that behind my back.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ok. Well I can- I can undo Scout. I think yeah Scout was pretty much the only one I told that too, at this point. I mean, it’s not like I made a YouTube video, which I did not. I can swear to God on that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I hope not.
 '''Chris:''' I promise you I would not. [Pause] And, but yeah sure, I’ll straighten Scout out, if it’ll make you feel better.
 '''Kacey:''' It will make me feel better. It’ll make me tons better.
 '''Chris:''' Ok, I’ll send an e-mail to Scout and let her know that you and I are just friends. Yeah, I’ll straighten her out.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok.
 '''Chris:''' Ok.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, [Chris stress sighs] I’m going to go ahead and go and ('''Chris:''' Yeah) you know, I’ve got school so I will talk to you- I might be late tomorrow because I’ll be working but I’ll try to talk to you when I could.
 '''Chris:''' Ok, I understand. I-I’ll be waiting for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye, talk to you later. Stay safe. Bye-bye.
 End Call

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found and video removed from YouTube. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 7]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 9]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 7

2014-05-23T03:24:09Z

Export A:

File name: '''kc09109''' 
Date: 1 [[September 2009]]

*[[Kacey]] is still shocked that [[Chris]] is on Lipitor, Chris says the food group he eats the most is vegetables.
*Today Chris totally ate a salad and chicken sandwich from Burger King, and drank like 5 glasses of water.
*The Chandlers have three refrigerators. Chris whines about the house being a mess. [[Bob]] does most of the home cooking (soup and stew); Chris wants Kacey to call Bob.
*Chris says he'll go jogging with Kacey, but tries to back out when she says they'll be jogging five whole miles.
*Chris needs to buy a [[sports bra]] because his manboobs bounce.
*Chris's XL size shirt looks pretty tight on him. Kacey suggests maybe he needs to wear XXXL size. Chris is pretty uncomfortable acknowledging that he is a fat fuck who needs to wear a bra to hold his fat tits.
*Chris was going to talk to social security about getting a [[job]] and a house, and his [[dad]] wouldn't let him go alone.
*Chris just recently learned what financial aid is. Says he can't remember much from the start of college because he was still recovering from his "stressful [[high school]] graduation."
*Chris definitely felt like more of an adult when he turned 21.
*Chris thinks "age of consent" = "you are an adult". Kacey is creeped out that Chris was looking up the age of consent.
*Chris would definitely not date an 18 year old, the youngest he would date is 21 (at the age 27). Kacey says that 6 years difference is too much for a relationship. Chris was never considering dating a 16 year old, he swears to God! Kacey says that if he wanted to have sex with someone 16 years old, that it is "[[pedophilia]]."
*[[Third date]] = [[sex]], Chris learned from [[TV]]. He definitely does not think of Kacey like that though.
*Chris has waited a "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time" for sex. "It hurts".
*Chris has [[masturbate]]d so much that he "can't even feel that much of a rush from it".
*Chris tard rages after Kacey misunderstands something he says about being a [[virgin]], "I AM VIRGIN AHHHHH".
*Chris thinks this is a good time to talk about having sex with a blowup doll.
*Kacey tells Chris to join a single's group.
*Chris tells Kacey to become a born again virgin because he saw it on ''King of the Hill''.
*Chris, regarding Bluespike and other troll relationships: "I have learned from my mistakes."
*Chris randomly admits that he used to confuse Michael Jordan with Michael Jackson.
*Lately Chris has been able to enjoy masturbation because he had a girl to fantasize with in his head.
*Chris implies that he has been jerking off to Kacey.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 7
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|9LqWVE8_uE8}}
| Stardate = 1 September 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 6]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 8]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi, Chris! It’s Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hi, Kacey! How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I’m okay. How about you?
 '''Chris:''' I’m okay. I’m doing—I’m fair now. Y’know, I just talked to… uh… [[Kim]]. She gave me some… uh… wise words. She talked to you about exercising, veggies and whatnot. But, yeah, I’m gonna be- gonna [pause] be working- yeah I’m gonna be working on that. I’m- I’m serious.
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Oh, well Chris I-I-I don’t know if you’ve really ris- If you’ve really realized the gravity of your situation. I mean, when you told me you were on cholesterol medicine at your age… I mean just- just wow! I-I mean that’s not good. [pause] Like do you realize how serious it is if you’re put on that at your age?
 '''Chris:''' I was [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] I mean you have a really horrible life expectancy. [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. I saw it as a precaution…
 '''Kacey:''' No! A doctor would not let you go on that as just a precaution, because those drugs can actually hurt you if you don’t need them. [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. I didn’t… let’s see. Okay. Well… Alright, well, maybe I’ll-I’ll-I can get off the Lipitor and see how I… uh… how I go from there.
 '''Kacey:''' No, no. I mean if you’re on it, you’re probably on it for a reason, Chris. I mean your doctor wouldn’t give it to you unless you really needed it. And, I mean, getting off it would only hurt you. The point is that you need to get to a point where you don’t need it, if you can even do that. I mean, if you’re already on it, you may not be able to reverse that. [pause] I mean that this is like… you’re really close to… you know, going into a hospital or something. I mean, that’s scary.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, it is scary… Hmm. It is scary.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, but I don’t-I don’t think you realize it. Okay, did you suggest getting on these pills to the doctor or did the doctor suggest you getting on them?
 '''Chris:''' Uh… Alright, let me think back to that day, that day. That was like… I don’t know, that was like about a year-about months to a year ago. Something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, months to a year ago is a long… big difference. Big difference.
 '''Chris:''' I mean when I-when I started on that and then I talked to my doctor… Hmm… Yeah, I was just… uh, okay, yeah. He was encouraging me for exercise and I was doing that and not eat so much high cholesterol-type foods and I have not been eating that much, so that… By the way…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Chris, you do eat high-cholesterol foods! Everything you told me has high cholesterol. And sodium. Sodium plays a part in it too. I mean, that’s all you eat.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but it’s also, she mentioned, sometimes I’ve been getting up at-by twelve o’clock and I eat like two meals in a day.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, you only eat two meals a day or you eat two meals at once? Cause I’m pretty sure your portion control is horrible too.
 '''Chris:''' Two meals in one day.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s- that’s bad. You’re supposed to have, like, five little meals. That’s gonna kill your metabolism too. I mean, that’s one of the problems I have is that I don’t eat enough. Um, but the problem is that, if you eat two meals a day, those meals are able to do the amount of calories you need, that’s just bad.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. I see. Hmm, that’s a lot for me to think about.
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Okay, okay, like with portions do you actually know how much a portion of meat is?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, a portion… I do not.
 '''Kacey:''' It’s about as big as a deck of cards. You should- [Chris interrupts: “Oh.”] -probably be eating about three to eight ounces.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, okay. Three oun- three to eight- three to eight ounces of meat in a day?
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, no. For a portion.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, for proportion… per portion in a day? I mean, I’m just trying to make sure I understand this here. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Um, Chris. Are you there?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I’m here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, okay. Never mind. I can hear you now. Sorry, my phone’s being weird. It’s like on a delay.
 '''Chris:''' Oh.
 '''Kacey:''' But, no, no. Like, a deck of cards, that’s about the size of… Well, you know, that’s just an example. You can look these things up. You know, the internet’s a great tool for that.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, you know… Okay, what would you say you eat the most? Like, what food group would you say you eat the most?
 '''Chris:''' I would say that I would eat vegetables the most.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, h-how are you going to eat vegetables the most if what you tell me is that your diet mostly consists of Hungry Man dinners and McDonald’s and Wendy’s?
 '''Chris:''' Well, firstly, I have not eaten a Hungry Man in like… over a month. I can honestly say that. I can also say that…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Okay, what vegetables have you eaten this week?
 '''Chris:''' I have eaten lettuce and tomato and carrots…
 '''Kacey:''' You do know that lettuce has almost no nutritional value, right? You should be eating field grains or romaine lettuce.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I’m sorry. What was that? Uh, something about…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Lettuce has no nu- yeah- lettuce has no nutritional value. If you’re going to eat it, it’s just roughage. If you’re going to eat it, you should eat mixed field greens or romaine lettuce.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, mixed field greens. That’s what you said. Mixed field greens. Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so basically, what you’re saying is you just eat some salads that are just thrown together. Y-you do know that that’s not necessarily healthy, right? Cause even vegetables and fruits in excess can be bad for you, because they have carbs and sugar.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. [pause] I see. I did not realize that. Oh, by the way I didn’t- by the way I was checking my email- I check my email twice a day and I did not receive the email with the… uh… links to the [unintelligible] with the recipes and all the stuff we talked about last night.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, I-I’ll resend them. I guess my email’s having problems. Um, I’ll look into that.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' But-But still, I mean, you know everything needs to be in moderation. Even things you think are healthy. Okay, tell me what you ate today. W-We’ll just start with that. What have you eaten today?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I ate two side-salads from Burger King and I had a grilled chicken sandwich.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so you’re still eating unhealthy.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I’m still eating unhealthy?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, okay. You ate at Burger King. Right there, that should be your red flag. Nothing they have, even their salads, are healthy. Nothing. The healthiest thing they can give you is water.
 '''Chris:''' I have drank plenty of water today. I drank, like, five glasses so far.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s not even enough [skip] you should be drinking in a day.
 '''Chris:''' I know, I should be drinking, like, eight eight-ounce glasses or equivalent. [pause] Well you know, I might have miscounted. I was drinking from a sixteen-ounce bottle and I refilled it about…
 '''Kacey:''' Is the water very cold?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s cold water. We keep- we- we… uh… keep- have, like, bottles of water put in the fridge. My mom prefers the bottled water over the tap water.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cause- when you drink bottled water you should always make sure it’s really cold, because even though it doesn’t help a lot, it helps a little, but your body has to warm up after you drink it and it does help with some calories. Not a lot though, but you should keep hydrated.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. That’s good then. Yeah, that’s good. But, anyway, yeah, our- the water I’ve drank today, it’s been cold.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that’s good. That’s good. But, I mean, so all you’ve had today is a salad and a chicken sandwich? That’s it?
 '''Chris:''' And water, yes.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, yeah. That’s okay. Um, you need to get a better eating plan. I mean, I do too. So I mean, I’m right there with you, but of course I don’t eat fast food either. But, you really… I mean, okay. Is the reason you eat at Burger King because it’s convenient?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, that and my parents, my mom and dad, are pretty much going there more often.
 '''Kacey:''' Why don’t you guys have fresh food in the house?
 '''Chris:''' We have food in the house, but yeah, our house is such a mess. It’s been a mess for a long time, ever since I had to take furniture out of the living room to put up into the kitchen, just like I put up a Christmas tree. That was pretty much the beginning of all that. And then I had [mumble] to take the tree down
 '''Kacey:''' Okay Chris, your house can’t be so bad that you can’t have food in your fridge.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, yeah, we do have food in- we have, like- we have three refrigerators. Two downstairs, one upstairs and they all have food- and they all have food in them.
 '''Kacey:''' Why do you have three refrigerators?
 '''Chris:''' (Offended/stressed) I don’t know why my mom and dad needed two refrigerators downstairs, but we got another one upstairs.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well, okay. Okay then. Um, what- okay. Then is you have food in those fridges, why don’t you guys cook. Why don’t you guys make dinner? I mean, or even, you know…
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my father- my father does most of the home cooking, really at this point. Uh, and…
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what types of things does he cook? Like, what’s the last time he… What did he make the last time he cooked?
 '''Chris:''' He makes a- he makes a- he makes some pretty good soups… and stews. Sometimes pasta.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' You know you’re wel- you know you’re welcome to call him at any time on the home phone and talk to him- introduce yourself to him and talk to him any time you want to.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you told me to wait, like you didn’t want me to talk to him yet.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, wait. Yeah, that’s right. I did tell you to wait. Yeah, wait ‘til maybe around Thursday or Friday. Yeah, cause last week I told you about that. Almost a week ago, now.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well, you just remind me that and we’ll go from there.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' But, um. But, yeah, your eating habits really need some reform. I mean, has your doctor talked to you about your life expectancy?
 '''Chris:''' Uhhhhh… my doc- I cannot…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Do you even know what a life expectancy is?
 '''Chris:''' I-I do have an understanding of what life expendancy is. It’s a rough estimate of how once- how long a person’s going to live.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I’m impressed. Um… but have they talked to you about that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my doctor has not talk- has not talked to me about my life expendancy.
 '''Kacey:''' Mmkay.
 '''Chris:''' So, I have no idea about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well… um… Okay, what… Since you mentioned I talked to Kim… um… yeah, I talked to her, cause like, one of the things I first noticed is the way you carry yourself, and it looks like you’re putting a lot of weight on your joints, especially your elbows and your knees, and that could be bad. Like… um… like, are you stretching them. Uh, cause you need to for your ligaments.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do stretch. I stretch my arms out and they…
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what type- what type of stretches do you do?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, basic stretches, you know. Yeah, like knee-bends, I’ve done those. I’ve done- I do those. And arm stretches. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I mean, are you doing any kinds of resistance stretches, like putting your palm against a wall and stretching your arms straight out and then pushing?
 '''Chris:''' Wait. Putting my arm against my ball?
 '''Kacey:''' A wall, Chris! A wall! [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Oh, oh. You mean like you’re pushing something. Uh, no, I have not thought about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, cause I mean, the stretching that you’re probably thinking of are not stretches you need to do. Like, when you stretch, you need to have some sort of resistance, so you can feel a stretch, and that lets you know that you are exercising your ligaments and that they’re gonna stay healthy, because that’s your bone to bone and that’s what you need to have.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Like, if you can’t feel that stretch, that- that’s not good. I mean, maybe you should get, like, a gym membership. Like, your doctor can help you fill out some paperwork for a discount.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm… my doctor can help me get a discount at a gym membership?
 '''Kacey:''' If you medically need it, your doctor can help you with a lot of things.
 '''Chris:''' Aren’t you… Yeah, I-I-I’ll definitely bring that up with Dr. McGovern when- the next time I talk to him.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright, that’s good.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, like, the way you carry your arms just shows that you have a limited range of motion and that worries me, cause you know, I want you to be healthy.
 '''Chris:''' Carry my arms around?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I-I’ll have to show you sometime. The way you hold them, it’s like… I-I’d have to just show you. But, it shows that you have a limited range of motion and… um… you could probably… um… do fairly well with a lot of better stretching.
 '''Chris:''' Um… I think I was…
 '''Kacey:''' Like, like, you can just put your arms in a praying position, so you have your palms to your palms, and hold your arms… um… across from you and that’s actually a great way to stretch, and it helps your elbow and your wrist.
 '''Chris:''' Huh. I keep my praying hands vertical while my arms are horizontal?
 '''Kacey:''' Um… no, no. You just wanna… you wanna put your hands together like you’re praying in front of you, and…
 '''Chris:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Kacey:''' …you wanna keep your arms straight, so that… um… they’re just going right out in front of you. Like y-you want them to be perpendicular to your body. You want… okay?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah. I can visualize that. Yeah, I under- I’m- I’m understanding you.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. But, yeah. You could totally benefit from that, cause you know, I want you to be healthy. Um… yeah. So we definitely have to find a time where we can go jogging, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, sure. Next time… uh… next time you get the chance to, you know, come visit, yeah. I’d be happy to go jogging with you.
 '''Kacey:''' That would be awesome. We should totally do it.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' A nice, five-mile jog, right? We gotta get those… uh… beats-per-minute up.
 '''Chris:''' Waitaminute waitaminute. Five miles?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Five miles is really easy. That’s like, beginner stuff. Well, if you want, we can do 2.5 miles, but, you know, that’s really beginning stuff. If you can’t do that... you need… that-that’s not good. At all.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. It’s just that, you know, five miles, yeah, that does sound like a exaggeration in my head at this point.
 '''Kacey:''' I-It’s only five miles. It’s not like I’m asking you to run a marathon. And it’s not like we’d be sprinting, we’d just be, like, doing nice, easy… jogging. Just…
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. And Kim suggested that I get a sports bra, because you know… I just know that, you know… if I’m gonna start jogging, I’m gonna feel… I’m gonna feel my manboobs bounce.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, this is why you’re doing it, to get rid of them. I mean, just where a jacket on top or an extra shirt. There should be no problem. I mean, as long as you… I mean… no one’s gonna care, really. [laughs] I mean, who do you think goes out jogging? People who need to lose weight. You’re not gonna be the only one.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Would you recommend I where a sports bra? Because, Kim’s recommending me- recommending at this point.
 '''Kacey:''' They-they make… Okay, yes. You should.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, if you are really that worried, those will keep them down and you probably should go out and get one soon.
 '''Chris:''' Uh… I’m sorry. What was that last statement?
 '''Kacey:''' Y-you should go out and get one soon if you want, cause I mean, if you’re really worried about five miles, then you should go practice without me.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' And then that way, when I’m there, you can be ready.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, yeah. Um, let me ask you though… uh… when I go shopping for a sports bra… I’m going to get my tugboat later this week so, I’ll probably like… uh… do you recommend I go to [skip] Wal-Mart or a store at the mall or, w-what questions do you recommend I ask for when I go shopping for a sports bra, when I’m being assisted? Like… you know… because… you know…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you don’t need to be assisted. I mean, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Most of them are in Small, Medium, Large, and Extra-Large sizes, so you just get one that fits. Or you could go to, like, a Sports Authority or some type of sports store and they have them. But, I mean, t-the sizes aren’t complicated. It’s not like a real bra-size. [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. I can see that, yeah. [pause] Mmm… [makes clock-like ticking sound?] Alright. Okay. Well, let me ask you from your point of view… I mean, you’ve seen me in person. Umm… Would you say I’m like- would you say I’m like a Medium, Large, or Extra-Large, cause I’m no- I can tell you… I’m pretty sure I’m not a small.
 '''Kacey:''' Umm… Well, grab the Large and the Extra-Large and try them both on and just see whichever one fits.
 '''Chris:''' Ah, okay. So, your saying I’m- I’m pretty much a Large at best. [chuckles] Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, i-if… What I’m saying is: if you’re really trying to also get into, like, a sports bra or something, they’re gonna be designed for women, unless you can find the ones that are designed for men. I mean, there are gym things for that, that are designed for men, but you’d have to go to, like, a sports store or something. So, I-I mean, just… I’d always try a bigger size first, cause it’s easier to go down than it is to go up. So… uh… [Chris chuckles again] Try… You have a Dick’s Sporting Goods near you, right? Try there.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, oaky. I’ll try there.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, what- okay. Like, the shirts you wore when you met me, what sizes are those?
 '''Chris:''' Umm…
 '''Kacey:''' Like, what size is your striped shirt?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah. I think that- I think that was… oh, wait a minute. I have it right in front of me. My favorite striped shirt. Um… um… Yeah, I see the L. I… uh… think it’s an XL though, because it seems like the X is worn out. Yeah, so… uh… that- that’s an XL right there.
 '''Kacey:''' Y-you say it’s an Extra-Large. Cause, I mean, it seemed a bit… uh… snug on you last time I saw you, so um…
 '''Chris:''' Hmm…
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe, you’re, like, a two-X or a three-X.
 '''Chris:''' [groans] That sounds like a- [groans again]
 '''Kacey:''' T-there’s- That’s not bad. I mean, it really isn’t. But, I mean…
 '''Chris:''' I mean, it just- it just sounds- it just sounds bad. I don’t know. Uh…
 '''Kacey:''' No it doesn’t. I mean, you can’t let those things have power over you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Yeah. I shouldn’t let ‘em have power over me. Umm… Hang on a second. I’m wearing a- I’m currently wearing a bit looser fitting than…
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Yeah, let’s see the size.
 '''Chris:''' [grunts while taking shirt off] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This one says XL.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well- well then I-I would start there. I would start with Extra-Larges.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Are they making a Double-XL and a Triple-XL sports bra?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes!
 '''Chris:''' Wow.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I mean… you know… girls have… breasts, you know. [chuckles] I mean, even if a girl is really skinny, but she has… they’re large, she’s not gonna fit into a small. I mean, come on, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' [loud, high-pitched laughter] Yeah, you’re right! You’re right. It’s just- I’m sorry. It just caught me off guard cause I’m a guy. And then… I don’t know… If I were, like, a bigger guy. Heh. Yeah, they were originally meant for women, but then guys caught on. Yeah. Okay. [little laugh] Yeah, I’m cool.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So… um… anything on your mind besides that?
 '''Chris:''' Um… yeah, okay. I could say a little bit… Okay, I talked to my father today about, like you know, writing up the list of questions he was gonna suggest for going to see Soc-[trips over words] see Social Security people about the job and the housing and all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' But, he was like: “Oh no,we’re…” uh… “Oh no, I’m planning to go- on going down there with you tomorrow afternoon.” So… yeah…
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe your father doesn’t have any faith in you. Maybe he thinks you’re gonna mess it up, but you know what, you should tell him: “Look, Dad, I know you want everything to go well, but it’s gonna look better on me if I do this.” Like, if he wants to take you, that’s fine. Like, if he wants to drive. But, they’re not gonna take you seriously if you have your father there, because they’re gonna be like: “Why are you even bothering?”
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I think I… uh… I might be underselling myself a little bit anyway, but… um… Yeah, I wouldn’t even be sure… I’m not… I just don’t feel like, you know… E-even with the bas- even with the basic questions that we have talked about before, I feel like, you know, they could be more questions that are, like, more appropriate. And plus, my father has proven himself to be… uh… proven himself to be more… m-more of… uh… you know, definitely going down to getting the nitty-gritty of the details and…
 '''Kacey:''' But still, if you let him talk all the time and not you, they’re gonna think he’s doing this for money. They’re not gonna take you seriously. They’re gonna think you’re trying to abuse the system. And you don’t want that, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I do not want that. Uh, [mumbles] I-I can do most of the talking. Cause it’s mostly- It’s mo- It’s my thing. I can do most of the talking.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, they’re gonna be talking to you. They’re not even gonna want to talk to your father. Your father has nothing to do with it. You’re twenty-seven. I mean if they’re gonna ta- If they’re talking to him and not you, then they totally see you as absolutely disabled, and there’s no point in doing it anyway. They’re gonna want to talk to you. They’re not… They’re gonna be asking you questions. They’re not gonna talk to him. The most they would talk to him about is if he’s your caregiver.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] And you want to be more able-bodied than that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I do. I do want to be more able-bodied than that. [pause] I do.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s good. That’s a good attitude to have.
 '''Chris:''' Mmmmm… yeah. So, anyway, I’m goin’ down- I’m goin’ down there… You know, I guess my father will be down there for support. Yeah, I’ll do most of the talking and… I’ll try to ask as many- I’ll ask as many questions as I can think of…
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' You know, try to keep him just in the background or just, like, you know… I don’t know… a piece of decoration? [laughs]
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' I-I don’t know. It’s just… just being a… I said- I said “decoration.”
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' You know. A-Anyway, you know, I’ll do- I’ll do most of the talking. I’ll ask as many questions as I can think of, and if I run short on questions, then I’m pretty sure that… uh… he’ll fill up the void. I mean, you give me- you have given me- you and Kim have both given me plenty of information, so it’s like, you know, so I can at least have a start of what I’m look- of what I’m looking for to find more information of like the work ticket or the… uh… trial period.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' And then…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] And remember: you can get an extended trial period, so don’t let them sell you short.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, extended trial period. Okay, and then about… uh… them vouching for my housing benefits- Oh, by the way, I- my mom told me further about the… uh… financial aid situation back in the beginning of my Piedmont days.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it’s like… yeah, we… they have… uh… there actually was a point in that, even during the stress… they actually tried… tried applying for the… we actually tried applying for the financial aid, but it was like, you know, we had more money… it was like, we had more money back then and we just did not qualify. We had more money then than we do nowadays.
 '''Kacey:''' But, it goes off of income, so were they working?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they were… my mom was working over at First North American National Bank back then. Then she retired a few years later.
 '''Kacey:''' Your mom had to be working a lot for you to not even get student loans. I can’t see a reason you wouldn’t qualify, unless there was something wrong with the taxes or something like they weren’t being done correctly.
 '''Chris:''' Well… yeah, there might… yep, probably, but I don’t know… I was… I was…
 '''Kacey:''' Probably? I hope not. That’s tax fraud. You can get in so much trouble for that.
 '''Chris:''' I don’t know all… I don’t claim to know all the information, I’m just… right now, I’m just going along with…
 '''Kacey:''' That’s really weird though, because even if you couldn’t get financial aid, you should have been able to get student loans.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, the government ones. You should have at least gotten something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, but… yeah, I think it’s just between the financial aid forms… student loans… yeah, we’ve…
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe your parents just didn’t want to do them and that’s why they told you that. Cause that’s really strange, cause I mean… it… your mom would have had to be making sooooo so much money for you not to qualify.
 '''Chris:''' [sighs] Well, I don’t know all the details. That was like over… that was about nine years ag… nine years ago. So, yeah, I can’t remember… I don’t remember all those details. They just kinda like, flew by, cause I was still in the mist of confusion , still recovering from a bad… from a bad graduation… and uhh… and the whole going to college, getting… starting getting used to that. It was stre- It was- those were stressful times.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean… that’s adulthood. W-what did you think being an adult was gonna be? I-it’s never gonna get better.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and plus… a-also, I was eighteen.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep. T-that would be an adult.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean… yeah. You know, there are some… there are some places where it’s like, you know, they feel like fifteen, you’re an adult then. Some places say that.
 '''Kacey:''' No. No. Where is that? [chuckles]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I’m-I’m just…
 '''Kacey:''' In America, that’s not true. [chuckles]
 '''Chris:''' I mean-I mean, when I turned twenty-one, I definitely felt more like an adult, after I turned twenty-one, than I- than I did when I was eighteen, at any time.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, just because you are an adult, doesn’t mean you feel like one. We’ve… discussed this before. But, seriously: where-where are people of age at sixteen? Where did you hear that from?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah. I was looking up… a while back I was looking up, like you know, “age of consent” and…
 '''Kacey:''' Age of consent is not an adult thing, Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Well…
 '''Kacey:''' You’re still not an adult with age of consent. Age of consent is bullshit. If you’re under eighteen, people who are older than eighteen have no right to be with you or touching you or anything like that. You’re not mature enough.
 '''Chris:''' [chuckles]
 '''Kacey:''' Why were you looking up “age of consent?”
 '''Chris:''' I don’t know. I was just making sure that… I-I don’t remember… ahh… Let me think. Let me think… mmm…
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, that’s wrong! You…
 '''Chris:''' [mutters incoherently]
 '''Kacey:''' You weren’t… eighteen and trying to date a sixteen-year-old, were you?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no. I mean… but also, like, you know, in some states they don’t even say anything that’s like a few- a year or two over that… that would be the legal age of consent for that state. But, yeah, it was eighteen for Virginia and that’s what I wanted to learn anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' So, since you think it’s okay, would you date a sixteen-year-old?
 '''Chris:''' No. I would not date a sixteen-year-old.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why were you looking up these laws?
 '''Chris:''' I was looking up just for the state of Virginia and then I just happened to see all the other states along with it.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean… even right now, an eighteen-year-old would be too young for you.
 '''Chris:''' At this point, yeah. An eighteen-year-old would be too young for me. I agree with you. [pause] I mean- I mean, I was- I was also in my early days when… I think this was like… yeah… looking that up, that was a few years ago, like… mid-sweetheart search at this point.
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, so-so you were considering a- you know, someone’s “age-of-consent.” Chris, that’s… that’s pedophilia.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was never considering sixteen, I swear, hand to God.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why would you even be looking it up?
 '''Chris:''' I was just… I was… I was just looking it up for Virginia, making sure eighteen was the age of consent.
 '''Kacey:''' Eighteen is when you’re an adult. Age of consent has nothing to do with being an adult, like I said. Well, look, look. Like, how young would you go right now? What is [Chris sighs in the background] your ideal girlfriend a-age range?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, my youngest right now- the youngest I would date would be twenty-one.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s six years apart. Don’t you think that’s… I mean, I guess it could be worse, but don’t you want someone more… your speed?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I don’t know what I want. I’m still a virgin. I’m still learning.
 '''Kacey:''' Dating does not equal sex. Just cause you’re a virgin doesn’t mean you can’t think of who you want to date. Are you serious? Do you think dating means you get to have sex?
 '''Chris:''' Eventually. I’ve heard the- I’ve heard the rule of thumb though is, you know, like, after date number three, then…
 '''Kacey:''' WHAT?! What?!
 '''Chris:''' [unintelligible]…heard it on television.
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] You think, because a girl goes out with you three times she should have sex with you, like she’s obligated to? That’s… what… no-oo-oo! [breaks into laughter] If somebody did that to me, I’d smack them, and I’d call them a pervert. You have sex when you’re emotionally ready. That’s horrible. No, get that out of your head.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I’ll get that out of my head, but I’m just sayin’, that’s what I learned from television.
 '''Kacey:''' You could have relationships and never have sex. You know that, right? Besides, you shouldn’t have sex until you know that… you could… I-I mean, you’ve gotta be sure about that person.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah,I know. I’ve understoo- I understood that part.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, don’t you wanna love someone first?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, where’d you get that from, like, TV or something?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I told- yeah, I told ya… yeah, television. I’ve heard a lot of it from television, movies, whatever. That sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, which shows? Which television shows?
 '''Chris:''' [noticeably frustrated] I… I don’t remember. I don’t remember. It was like- it was like comedies- you know, com-comedies or something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cause that should tell you: it’s a comedy. Comedies aren’t real. They’re meant to be funny an ironic. I-I can’t believe you thought that. So… ugh… Chris, what… no! [small chuckles] That-that’s just disrespectful to girls too. I mean… they don’t owe you anything, just cause you went on a date with them. You’re supposed to be there because you enjoy the pleasure of their company, and because you like them. Not because you think on the third date you’re gonna get some. Do you think about that? Do you… think about me like that?
 '''Chris:''' No. I do not think of you like that. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' [sighs]
 '''Chris:''' I mean, you definitely are genuine, you are sweet. I definitely would like to… b-be with you m-more often. But, it’s like, you know, I would not ask you unless you- unless you felt ready to.
 '''Kacey:''' Still… Chris… you’re lying to me. You just told me that, it’s the third date and then… bam.
 '''Chris:''' Eh, no. It was an idea. It was just a theory, and you know, theories are…
 '''Kacey:''' That’s not a theory! [breaks into laughter] That’s a horrible theory!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is a horrible theory.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean- I mean- but, you need to stop equating relationships with sex. Sex is sex. Relationships are… not. You can have sex without a relationship. You can have a relationship without sex. But, I mean, I really wouldn’t recommend the one-night-stand, sex-without-relationship thing, but, I mean… most people wait, like, a long time. Like, months time, or until they get married. [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Waiting. Yeah. You know what- you know, these things bring up to my mind… you know… the fact that I’ve waited… I’ve been… it’s been like… over… it’s been, like, over six years now that I started the sweetheart search and, you know, even though…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Well, you shouldn’t search for it, cause you know, when you’re not looking for things, things happen to fall into your lap like that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeach, but the point is though, I waited a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know that God wants you to wait until you’re married? I mean, do you ever think about that? I mean, I think girls would find that admirable, if you were gonna wait ‘til marriage.
 '''Chris:''' [sighs] Yeah, but it hurts.
 '''Kacey:''' I-I-I… why would it hurt? I mean, you can have a relationship and companionship without sex. You don’t need sex. Sex is not going to make you feel better. If you are looking for sex to fill an emotional hole in yourself, you’re gonna be sorely disappointed. I-it’s just gonna make you feel worse.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm… [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, if all you want is that physical rush, just do it yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah… I’ve done it to... I-I’ve actually done it to myself so many… so many times, even with a… even with a hunk of… even with an inflatable, plastic wom…wom…
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa! T-M-I! T-M-I!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay. Yeah, but anyway, I’ve done it so much, it’s like, you know… I can’t even feel that much of a rush from it, doing it to myself like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe that… is… part of your sexual drive. I mean, you should feel pleasure from it.
 '''Chris:''' I did for a long time and then… I don’t know. It’s like, you know, my body got used to it.
 '''Kacey:''' So you feel nothing now?
 '''Chris:''' No, I- No, I do- I do feel it, like you know, when I’m near a woman, I definitely feel it then. And sometimes…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] “Near a woman?” I thought you were a virgin.
 '''Chris:''' [clearly frustrated] I am a virgin! I’ve never had sex!
 '''Kacey:''' Okay then, what-what do you mean by “near a woman?” I mean, obviously, I don’t think you mean you do that near… a woman.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no. I meant- I meant- [stutters “I meant” several more times] Oh, oh crap! [yelling] I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore! [exhales]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, just calm down. I mean, don’t raise your voiced at me. [chuckles] We should be adults and be able to have a civil conversation about this.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean… I gave you respect though. I moved the phone away from my head when I shouted.
 '''Kacey:''' I appreciate it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I’m just sayin’, I just felt- I just felt under pressure. And considering the social anxi- considering the socialness and…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I thought you were comfortable with me.
 '''Chris:''' I am comfortable with you, but I’m just sayin’, like you know during a long time where I didn’t- where it was just me and I was just lurching toward a woman[?] or any woman who was willing to give…
 '''Kacey:''' I think maybe you’re holding that to a standard that you’re never gonna be able to accomplish, like… I think that you’re holding it to a standard to where, if you actually get it, you’re going to be disappointed. I-I mean, y-you need to lower the bar a little bit. I mean, maybe you need some friends. Maybe you just need to get out there more. Maybe join a singles’ group or something.
 '''Chris:''' I-I’m not even sure if- I’m not even sure if that would be good for me, or waitaminute… Maybe I messed up. I don’t know. [pause] I feel confused.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know, being confused is nothing to be ashamed of.
 '''Chris:''' [sighs] Yeah, stress and confusion are a bad combination.
 '''Kacey:''' I guess, but you need to be able to keep them in check and to get through them. That’s part of being an adult is pushing through everything, cause you’re gonna be stressed, you’re gonna be confused. It’s gonna happen, but what’s gonna matter is what you do to push through that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean yeah, like sex isn’t going… to… solve all your problems. It’s just not. It’s not gonna make everything magically better. In fact, sex opens so many doors, it can cause problems, especially emotional problems. I mean, cause then you’re… that’s as involved as you can get with somebody and if you’re not ready for it, it’s going to cause a lot of shit. Like, don’t you think I wish I had waited now? I mean, look at everything that’s happened to me. I wish I waited.
 '''Chris:''' Well, you know, I’ve heard… uh… I’ve heard in places where… you know, if you… I’m sure if you talk to your church- your pastor at your church… uh… I think there’s…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Chris. Chris. I know you’re talking about Born Again Virgins. That’s a load of bullshit. That’s- that’s trendy teen shit that they do to make you feel better, but it doesn’t erase the fact that you’ve done it. I’m sorry. You’re gonna have to keep that between you and God. But, I mean, just because…
 '''Chris:''' Okay, it’s just, I heard that on television is all. I remember hearing it on an episode of King of the Hill. I’m just throwing it out there.
 '''Kacey:''' Once again, Chris, that’s a comedy a TV… you can’t… they were fun of it. They were making fun of people who think Born Again Virgins really makes them pure. No. You still did it. That’s still your mistake and you’re gonna have those emotional scars all your life… or the memories, even. I mean… it doesn’t… make you… anything. You’re still you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, if you’re not having fun, even, you know, doing it yourself, maybe sex isn’t for you right now. Maybe you just need companionship. I think you’re confusing sex with companionship.
 '''Chris:''' Ugh… so many things I’m confusing. You know, [unintelligible] I used to confuse Michael Jordan with Michael Jackson.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that’s weird, but I don’t know what that has to do with this situation. You shouldn’t keep changing the subject like that.
 '''Chris:''' I know. I’m just saying, you know, talking about confusion. I’m just saying, I’ve confused things before.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Confused people before.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but that’s a little… that’s a little different than this. This is confusing… um… terms and… ideas, like… I-I don’t know. Just- I think what you need is companionship and friends. I mean, your putting sex on this pedestal and people who do that get sorely disappointed. And, I mean, what happens if you do it and then you- you regret it? Y-you should definitely wait until you find someone that you know. That you absolutely know. And it’s not gonna be on the third date. [pause]
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you’ve even said it’s not fun. I mean, maybe deep down, what you want isn’t sexual-type fun, just, you know, being with other people.
 '''Chris:''' Uh… let me rewind- let me rewind on that topic. Um… actually, lately I have rea- I have been actually been able to enjoy it… you know, masturbation. I’ve actually been able to enjoy it, because you know, I’ve actually had a girl to put in my head… in my head to fantasize doin’ that with. For a long time I have been doin’ it, you know, where I did not have a woman to fantasize that with. And then eventu- and then eventually that wind out to be no fun. And then… and actually, you know… uh… yeah. Then-then I start talking to girls on the internet. And then, you know, from the pictures they sent me, that starts to get a little more fun and then they wind out. Then I got no fun and it was like a yo-yo thing.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe that’s your body’s way of saying that you’re just being lustful, and that that’s why it stops being fun, because there’s no emotional… there’s nothing emotional about it. Like, sex should just be physical. It should be emotional and physical.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I actually did feel emotions for those girls… b-before they left me or I found out they were trolls.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I can’t help you with that. You’ve gotta be more careful with that. But, I mean…
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I’ve learned from- I’ve learned from my past. I’ve learned from my mistakes.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean- I mean, if I guess you do it now, if you have someone you think of now, are you emotionally attached to that person?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can honestly say I do feel emotionally attached.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. [pause] Well, maybe you should concentrate on being that person’s… friend… and, you know, getting to know them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you can’t just go straight to that. I mean, I happy it’s working out for you. That’s good. That’s a good sign. But, it shouldn’t be all about that.
 '''Chris:''' I understand, and I will con- and I will continue to think about… yeah. Maintaining friendship, and then let it all come.
 '''Kacey:''' But, what happens if it never comes?
 '''Chris:''' Then I guess it just doesn’t. I mean, it just- that depends upon… uh… my friend, who’s been like an angel to me feels at that time. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean- I mean, that’s it, but I mean, you’ve gotta be prepared. I mean… I don’t know. Just, you know. Just, this isn’t the way to go about it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I hear you. [pause] I hear you and I appreciate it- I appreciate it all.
 '''Kacey:''' [chuckles] You’re welcome.
 '''Chris:''' The guidance.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I just want what’s best for you.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you’re a great friend and I hope nothing changes.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm… hmm… yeah, thank you. You have been like an angel to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Um… okay. Uh… cool. [chuckles] Um…
 '''Chris:''' I mean, your guidance and all, it’s just like, you know, yeah. It’s like that what a guardian angel would… g-guide you through.
 '''Kacey:''' Well- well, that’s gonna be my job. I’m gonna be a nurse. I’m gonna be helping people. So, you know, that’s just what I do. I would do it for anyone.
 '''Chris:''' [dejected] That’s good. Mmm…
 '''Kacey:''' Well, anyway, it’s getting late, and I have school, so… um… why don’t I let you go, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, you’ll send me the email with the links to all the recipes and all that?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I’ll try to redo it. If not, I‘ll do it after school tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Uh… talk to you later… Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, talk to you later, Chris. Bye!
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye.
 '''[CALL ENDS]'''

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 6]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 8]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 6

2014-05-23T02:53:33Z

Export A:

31 [[August 2009]]

*[[Chris]] got some calls from a [[troll]] pretending to be from [[GameFAQs|gamefaqs.com]] (Chris pronounces "GameFAQs" as if "faqs" is a word).
*Chris thinks he defeated a troll by calling him back and telling him to shut the fuck up.
*Chris's parents drop him off at the [[mall]] so he can draw [[comics]] while they go use their senior discount at Ihop.
*If Chris went to Ihop with his parents it would "mess things up" because they're using their senior discount to buy Chris sandwiches.
*Chris wrote a list of nice discussion topics because he doesn't want [[Kacey]] to yell at him again.
*First topic: ''Hannah Montanna''. Kacey says it's for 12 year old girls, [[Pedofork|Chris thinks it's pretty good and wants to buy it on Blu-Ray]].
*Second topic: Chris's [[college]] days. His first good memory is the time a hypnotist came and included Chris in his act.
*First the hypnotist wanted Chris to insult him, so Chris called him [[Random-access humor|"Uncle Screwy Louie"]]. He still thinks it's funny. Then the hypnotist said "when you open your eyes you'll see everyone naked". Chris didn't really see anyone naked, but he played along as he [[The Creepy Stare|smiled at the ladies]].
*Another good college memory is when he was included in a quiz show game. Chris didn't make it very far, but at least he tried.
*Chris was in touch with his "girl crush" [[Kellie Andes]] for a while after graduation; recently he found out she's married with two children. Chris could tell by looking at a prom picture of her that she was already taken by [[JERK|some guy]], when he saw that it put him into [[Stress|shock]] for a while.
*Chris made a few friends and acquaintances at [[PVCC]], "but they kinda came and gone", especially after he got kicked out of English class. He "became shy" after that.
*Chris talks about a teacher, or as Chris calls him "[[CADD Chef|this one black guy]]" at PVCC, and how upon first being there he "had bad vibes about him". He picked almost as many arguments as his father! Chris says the teacher would constantly [[Kick the Autistic|put him down and what-not]], with mean insults like "That's not right, do it over bla bla bla"... Kacey points out that's not putting him down, that's teaching. Chris did not like his tone of voice. "The way he carried on and such. He talked more calmly to the other students, I actually observed."
*Chris was happy to graduate from PVCC, because "It felt more like a Hellhole than Heaven". Chris was sad to graduate from [[High School]], because he didn't receive any awards.
*He's still whining about not getting any awards; he got a star pin but "that's SMALL in comparison to other awards". Kacey tells him to stop being childish and grow the fuck up; Chris ignores her and whines more.
*Chris watched ''Labyrinth'' because it's Kacey's favorite movie. Kacey talks about David Bowie's [[Pickle|"bulge"]]; Chris gets uncomfortable and tries to change the subject because he is [[Homos|STRAIGHT]].
*Chris "tried reading" ''[[Harry Potter]]'' but couldn't get into it. Also competition with [[Pokemon]] or whatever.
*Chris suddenly tard rages because a troll keeps calling him. He doesn't understand why he keeps calling after Chris told him to stop.
*Kacey asks what books Chris has read recently. He of course says Pamela Anderson's ''Star'', then admits he hasn't read anything else. Kacey tells him he should read ''Catch 22''. Chris thinks a "Catch 22" is a kind of "sexual touch".
*The only books Chris owns are [[R.L. Stine|''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'']].
*He also read ''The Giver'', so he spends five minutes recounting what happens in that book.
*Chris tries claiming that he has multiple personalities. Kacey tells him he's full of shit.
*'''Chris says he JUST NOW changed over to his other personality, so now he's [[Christopher]] instead of Christian. He is serious.'''
*"Christopher" says he only caught some of the conversation and doesn't know what's going on.
*Kacey tells him he might have a brain tumor.
*Christopher gives up and says he just switched back to Christian.
*Christian says "Christopher" came out recently while he was playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. He thinks there is a difference between his two personalities' voices.
*Chris says he'll talk to his doctor about this serious problem.
*Kacey isn't taking his stupidity seriously, so Chris suddenly backtracks and says he just made up this multiple personality shit to mess with the trolls.
*Chris stopped taking some of his meds and now he feels more confident.
*Chris has been taking Lipitor for the last 2 years to keep his cholesterol down. He's like "It was optional, but I thought it was a good idea".
*Chris says he mostly eats grilled chicken sandwiches from [[McDonald's]]. He thinks this is [[Chris and Health|healthy]]. He also only eats Hungry Man dinners "once or twice" a month, mostly he eats Healthy Choice frozen dinners.
*Chris says he walks about half an hour a day around the neighborhood, and thinks this is "strenuous".
*Kacey thinks Chris is going to die.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 6
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|fM8ktx0YG_o}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 5]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 7]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hi Kace, how are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay, just a little tired from work, how are you?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm okay, I'm a little too tired from uh, being trolled.
 '''Kacey:''' Aw.
 '''Chris:''' I keep answering incoming calls from the trolls. Uh, especially, uh, to- Especially, uh, you know, incoming calls from the one... troll who pretended to be an employee over at GAME FACKS ''[sic]'' dot com- You know, G-A-M-E F-A-Qs, uh... Anyway, uh... They say- Anyway, they say it was the guy that's been ordering all the uh, free catalogues and boxes and what-not, sending 'em to my house with the stupid [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] name on the address. Uh, yeah but I'm handling that and dealing with-
 '''Kacey:''' Well you should tell them to fuck off and leave you alone. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' You should tell 'em to fuck off and leave you alone. They won't be expecting that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my father- My father did tell them that. Actually, after we got home from the uh, church yesterday, he told 'em that. And they called a couple more times today and he's finally giving up.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but you shouldn't be bothering your father with that, I mean YOU should be able to do it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' You should be able to fight your own battles.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I mean- I mean, he's been calling the house phone and my father- And my mom and dad have been ans- Have been monitoring his calls with their caller I.D. which is downstairs. In their lair only.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then they shouldn't pick up either.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah well mostly they do not pick up. Uh, anyway, also this, uh, guy... that pretends to be a legal rep from- from uh, Bandai, Bandai or something... Yeah he's practically calling non-stop, and that's just been- That's just been bothering to me. I finally- I finally managed to to, uh- I think I finally shut him up though. Uh, yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' I think you should just keep telling them to fuck off, I think you need to take a better offensive stance on this. They're not going to expect that from you, you just need to be like... Like, just be strong.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you think I haven't tried telling 'em to uh, to back- to back the fuck off, I have done that before.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah but you really have to be a man about it, you need to really say it in a tone, you can't show them any fear, any whining or anything, you need to just WOW them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah well anyway, I think I finally got- I finally got the Bandai guy to shut up, I, uh, you know, I called him back and I told him to call toll-free HIS phone number, OR shut the fuck up and stop calling my cell phone number. And then I said goodbye and hung up on him.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, that's a good start.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. ''[Forced laugh]'' Yeah, so anyway, um...
 '''Kacey:''' Well if you've got their numbers you should call back and do that yourself, I mean, don't wait for them to come on your turf, you need to show them you mean business.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, they have your number anyways, it's not like it would hurt.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I should definitely be calling 'em back and telling 'em to, uh... Yeah. I will do that. Uh, but anyway-
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, shouldn't let them take control of you. You need to control THEM.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Turn the tables, you know.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I will do that. I will do that, but any- Yeah. Anyway, something else on my mind, my father and I were planning on going down to Social Security tomorrow or Wednesday, talking about what they can do for us with the, uh, job and all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's good, I mean it is on the website though, so it shouldn't harm you, but maybe they'll have someone who can help you through, but remember, don't let them do everything for you, and you should probably do it tomorrow, you know... Just because, I mean why not get it done as soon as possible?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well-
 '''Kacey:''' Get it done faster.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' That will surely show those trolls.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. You know one thing though, uh... I would do it myself but unfortunately I don't know the right questions to ask, my father is the one that has- has more knowledge about that sorta thing, so yeah. But definitely like, uh-
 '''Kacey:''' But you need to get the knowledge. So, YOU should be doing this, your dad can't do this for you, this is about you being independent.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I know, but I don't know the right questions to ask.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, they're gonna show you what you have to do, I mean the... It's common sense what questions you're gonna have to ask. Like, "How much can I make? How many hours can I do?" this is stuff you already know, you shouldn't sell yourself short.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Or ask your dad beforehand. Don't make him do it for you, just be like- See you don't even have to ask him, just be like "Do you have any suggestions?"
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I-
 '''Kacey:''' This is something that you need to do yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I need to ask suggestions, yeah. I should probably ask him to write down the right list of questions for me. But then he'll probably- Then he'll likely insist on wanting to come and, uh- Yeah, come along anyway. And plus like, you know, yeah, my mom's just finally offered me to, uh, to uh, to drive her car today, but unfortunately I had to let her drive, yeah, she was going to IHOP, and I wanted to do some- get some drawing done at the mall while we were out, uh, cuz you know, if I'm not going to [indecipherable] family, but they would drop me off at the mall while they're at IHOP, cuz if I go with them to IHOP that will mess up their uh, senior discount deal. And then they might not be able to get me the sandwiches that I would have- The sandwich I would have that night. It's a pretty good sandwich, by the way.
 '''Kacey:''' You got a sandwich from IHOP? That's like, the International House of Pancakes.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, my family gets like a senior discount, and uh...
 '''Kacey:''' But what does that have to do with pancakes, it's pancake house!
 '''Chris:''' ''[Laughs]'' Well, they sell sandwiches there. Heh, I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' But, you go to IHOP for pancakes...
 '''Chris:''' Heh, well I'm sure my mom and dad would have eaten pancakes themselves there, but I mean I don't know, but you know, it's their- Order pancakes at the uh, International- Over at the IHOP... ''(Uncomfortable laugh)'' I don't know... Plus, I don't know all the details of the uh, senior citizens discount, though anyway if I went with them there, uh, it would just mess things up. I mean I know we- We know, we tried it once before, and they- Yeah, it just really messed it up.
 '''Kacey:''' Messed what up?
 '''Chris:''' The senior discount deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' I mean the people at the, uh, restaurant place are, uh, fairly strict.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah I'm surprised they even have a senior discount deal, I mean my restaurant doesn't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but it's like once a week though. Only on Monday nights.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well back to the Social thing, I mean... I think you need to tell your parents that this is something you need to do, you need to face the world on your own. It'll be a great learning experience for you and you'll be with people who are there to help you. So it's not gonna hurt you or anything.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, we'll I'll- I'll talk to my father and see- See if he'll write me the correct list of questions and let me go by myself.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean plus they're gonna take you a LOT more seriously if you're coming to them yourself. They're gonna look at you with your parents and they're gonna be like, "This guy doesn't want help". They're gonna... not help you. They're going to do it resentfully.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that's just the way the world works, unfortunately, that's the way they're gonna see it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it's like a dog eat dog world, well you're right, I see- I see- I see it from your point of view, I get it. Hm. Anyway, I- Anyway, let me, uh- Anyway, uh... Anyway, other than that, I did come up with some nice, uh, discussion topics that you and I could talk about. You know, like a couple of days ago, but then uh... Then you brought up the maturity, telling me all that... It's like I couldn't get the, uh, conversation topics I managed to write-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well if you have them, go ahead and bring them out, that'd be cool.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Alright, well... Here's a good one, uh, let's talk about my feelings on Hanna Montanna, your feelings- Your, uh... We could- we could further your- Your- Destination of your feelings about her. And that show.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, um, well, Hanna Montanna's like a guilty pleasure for me, because you know, it's a show for like 13 year-old little teeny-boppers, and I really shouldn't be watching it.
 '''Chris:''' Heh.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I mean, it's cool, Miley Cyrus is so talented.
 '''Chris:''' Well I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' But it's really for teeny-bopper girls.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I mean, I've only seen like a couple of episodes of the show, yeah, but from what I recall, you know, yeah, she's- she's pretty good. But it's like you know, I mean I could get into like, you know, watching more of the show myself, I just uh, hadn't really gotten around to it, or... Just hadn't really felt like it but it's like you know, I could. I mean you know they released season one on DVD, plus they have the uh, movie on Blu-Ray, I could rent that, or... rent the season one or whatever.
 '''Kacey:''' Right.
 '''Chris:''' Uh... but anyway yeah-
 '''Kacey:''' Remember how I said I wanted to talk about more ADULT topics, and I just mean mature topics? Do you have any of those?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Well, kind of, we could talk about college- We could talk about my college days.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, go ahead.
 '''Chris:''' You know, just uh- I mean I could reminisce a bit about uh... You know, between high school days and eventually leading on to college days. Got the rundown here (?)... Let's see...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well tell me about college.
 '''Chris:''' Um... Yeah, okay, I only have like a couple of good memories from my college days, like uh, you know... Uh, there was this one time, where uh... This good- Where this hypnotist came in, and uh, he- And then I- And then he let me uh, get up on stage and be one of the uh, subjects. But it's like, I wasn't really hyp- I wasn't really hypnotized. But I, like, played along with it, I mean I actually knew what was going on.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...
 '''Chris:''' And I think uh... Hang on, let me see if I can remember what happened. Um... Yeah I think at one point, uh... He wanted me to, like, insult him a little bit, when he said a cue. And it's like, uh... Yeah, it's like yeah, okay, I got it, when you say the word you'll want me to insult you, and it was like I couldn't- I tried to think of a good insult but I don't know, I just came up with like you know, just calling him "Uncle Screwey Louie". ''(Waits for Kacey to laugh)''
 '''Kacey:''' Ohh.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Laughs)'' I don't know why that- That little- He just.. Just a silly stupid name. Uncle Screwy Louie. Heh.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. ''(Laughs politely)''
 '''Chris:''' Yeah then like you know, later he's like you know, oh, then everyb- Then he says, like you know, he says at a certain point everybody opens their eyes and then... It's like- We're supposedly like to see everybody... naked- Everybody in the audience naked, and freak out or something. It's like, uh, you know, I- I opened my eyes and I didn't really see anybody naked, I saw everybody with their clothes on. But it's like you know, I played along and I just sat there and smiled. Heh. At the ladies in the audience. ''(Laughs)'' Yeah. And then he says like you know he gave me another cue like yeah, "Chicago", then everybody- Then we all- Then we all danced. A little bit.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' And it's like I did my fill of dancing, he touched my shoulder and told me to sit down, there you go. Uh, I think that was pretty much- I think that was pretty much it as far as I can remember from that day.
 '''Kacey:''' That's cool.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, anyway, uh, anyway another- Anyway another good memory I have from the college days is like you know I participated in a quiz sh- In uh, this one time, in a quiz show event. Uh... It was like you know, one of those remote con- One of those things where they hand you a remote control and you answer the- and you answer the uh, questions while you're in a seat. And if you're amongst the uh, top four scorers you get to go to a- You get to go and uh, be one of the uh, buzzers on the panel to uh, win the mon- win the prize money. Try and win the prize money. Uh, obviously I did not even get up there- I did not even get the chance to get up there, but, you know, I tried anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, at least you tried, that's all you can ask for.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Oh, another thing I uh, feel like I should mention, uh, remember- I think I remember telling you a little bit about my high school crush Kellie An- Kellie Andies?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, after we graduated I was in touch with her for like about a year and a half after that, and then it's like I- I missed calling her one weekend, and then it's like I sorta- I lost the habit. And then like a- And then like a couple of months- A couple of months, uh... earlier recent- Couple of months ago recently, I found that she had been... Excuse me. She had been married and she has like, one or two children. So...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh.
 '''Chris:''' That's good for her then, anyway. But it's like you know, uh, I, you know, after I stopped the uh, habit my mom made me- My mom told me like you know- Oh yeah I can tell from like, you know, just from looking at her like, like in... The prom... The, uh... Yeah she was obviously already taken by this- By some guy. And it's like- I was like oh my God, I was in shock for a while. I think it was like for a couple of weeks or a couple of months. Maybe- Yeah, somewhere between there.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Not really listening)'' Oh that's cool.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, I lost touch with her and that was like a downfall. Uh, I've made a few friends and acquaintances since uh, Piedmont. But they kinda like came and gone. And it's like you know, mostly like GONE, because since, you know, after- Especially gone since after February 24th 2003, which was- that was the, uh... 21st birthday I got kicked outta the English classroom, so it's like you know, I couldn't make- I just didn't- I uh, just didn't feel like- I just didn't... I just became shy, and didn't make as many friends as I was able to beforehand. And then the uh, and then the uh, Sweetheart Search and Mary Lee Walsh, uh... Going on and all that. And then I got banned for a year and the anger management and the... I got the anger management from the uh, psychiatrist's class, I think I told you about that. Uh, but anyway, I, um... It also- Also, I told [[Kim]] about this part, but uh... You know, during my, like my last seme- My- My last, uh, couple of semesters... Before I got my diploma, um... Instead of my teacher being this, uh- Being this nice, uh... Woman teacher I knew, uh... It was this one black guy. Just one black ''[indecipherable, probably something racist]''... But he was just like uh, you know, upon first meeting him, I- [[Chris and race|I had bad vibes about him]]. And... And yeah, I was right- I was right with that cuz you know, he- He and I just never saw eye to eye. And he picked more arguments, almost as much as my father.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, okay, so you thought this guy was like your father?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... No, no, no, I did not consider him like my father, I'm just saying that like you know, he picked about as many arguments, and pushed a nu- pushed a number of buttons, about as much as my father did. And it was- it just- it just really made me angry at him-
 '''Kacey:''' Well, what sort of arguments were they about? What were they like? I mean, a teacher shouldn't do that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, like you know, he was contradicting my work, and this was also in the uh, last-
 '''Kacey:''' Are you sure he wasn't giving you constructive criticism? He is a teacher...
 '''Chris:''' Well- Yeah, it wasn't really constructive criticsm, it was just mostly put-downs and what-not.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well what did he say?
 '''Chris:''' He's just like, uh, "No, this is not right, do it over, bla bla bla bla bla..."
 '''Kacey:''' That's not putting you down, that's teaching!
 '''Chris:''' Uh, but still, he was- His tone of voice was really- It was like- It was full of anger! And- And I just did not- I just did not like that I-
 '''Kacey:''' Well how many times did he have to tell you that, I mean I'd be angry too if someone kept making the same mistake...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but, you know, I'm not- '''I'm not one to repeat mistakes''', and I was like doing this... really big project in my final semester. The big plans to make- The big Computer Aided Drafting and Design plans for my Cwcville Shopping Center, two stories, all the stores and the mayor's office!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think he was just trying to help you. I mean, he's teaching, he wants you to pass. He doesn't want you to fail.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I- I mean, I did finish it. Ended up getting a passing grade, but still, you know, I did not like his tone of voice! The way he carried on as such.
 '''Kacey:''' Well did you tell him that? Did you tell him that you appreciated his criticisms, but maybe he should, uh... watch his tone?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I don't remember exactly but I think I might have thanked him for his- uh, for uh, you know, being a teacher and that- and that sort of thing. Uh... Yeah I don't think I talked- I don't think I talked to him about his tone of voice.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe that's just the way he talks, I mean did he talk that way to the other students?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no he was- He talked more calmly. He talked more calmly to the other students, I actually observed.
 '''Kacey:''' Well what'd you get in the class?
 '''Chris:''' I ended up getting like a... You know, a passing a grade like an A- Like an A or a B.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, an A and a B is a really big difference. And, you know, passing- The only thing that isn't passing is one failing grade, so you know... That's, well...
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' At least you passed the course.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I passed the course, got my degree, but anyway, when I got my diploma then at the graduation ceremony, I mean like, I was only too glad to leave that Piedmont Virgina College, cuz you know, I had no new friends- I had no new friends that I would be leaving behind. And I had the bee-yotching Mary Lee Walsh. And then the-
 '''Kacey:''' I thought that it wasn't her- I thought you apologized about that, and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh- This- Yeah, I mean- This was like, only a couple of months ago... And, I like- Up to two months ago...
 '''Kacey:''' Well, then you should probably stop referring to her as that. You know, let it go. Let the past go.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Annoyed grunt)'' Anyway the point was, I was only too glad get- to graduate from Piedmont, 'cause anyway, I just per- Just personally, it felt more like a Hellhole than Heaven. Felt more like Hell.
 '''Kacey:''' But... It's school, what do you expect?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Anyway but, I think a big difference though is like, you know, Manchester High School, I definitely have more... positive memories from there, like you know and I did have all my friends. And it's like you know, when I did graduate, I was just sad to leave all my friends. And the all- And all- And all- And all that. Plus, like you know, I didn't, uh, get an award for my creativity, even though I was very creative and I was like... I was highly commended- I was highly commended upon that, at- at- at that moment.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I think you've told me this before.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Ignoring/talking over her)'' But uh, I did not- I did not- I did not get an award at the end. During the award ceremony, that whole graduation mess just... Yeah. Between the award and-
 '''Kacey:''' Well remember, like I said, high school stuff really doesn't matter. Not in the real world.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Groan)'' Maybe not, but it makes you feel better about yourself, talks yourself up, from- to how you feel...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would you need that to feel good about yourself? You should feel good about yourself, period-dot-the end. You don't need an award, that's stupid. That's putting faith in material things, when you you should be putting faith in yourself.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I did, I mean, I did have faith-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you got to graduate, you got the best reward of all.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did- I did have faith in myself. It's just like you know, I felt like, you know, they did not see me as worthy of getting an award at that time, it's just like you know...
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Talking over him)'' You shouldn't think of it like that, maybe just, you know, other people deserved it. You can't win everything!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it's like, as if they were telling me like, they had no faith in me.
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't mean anything! If you said you were commended, then you were commended, just 'cause you don't get an award, doesn't mean that you're not awesome, I mean, that's childish. That really is, you shouldn't need an award, and you shouldn't feel that they have to give it to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh...
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe someone else really deserved it.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Annoyed stress noises)''
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you weren't the only one who didn't get an award.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I know, I was not the only one who didn't get an- Well, actually, that's not really true, 'cause I got like... a star, for my grades. My [[Honor Roll]] grades. A star pin. But yeah- That's just- That's just like, you know... That's SMALL in comparison to these BIG awards, and I just felt like you know, oh, I'm looking forward to like-
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think it's a big award, I mean did they get money or something? If they didn't, it's not a big deal. They get a piece of paper, oh wow, it's a piece of paper that they probably don't even have anymore, it's probably lost.
 '''Chris:''' I wouldn't have- I would not have lost my piece of paper if I had gotten it.
 '''Kacey:''' I really don't think it's as important as you say it is, and you shouldn't put that much stock in it. I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, yeah... I mean I don't put- I don't put as much into it back then, as I- Uh, I don't put as much nowadays. Into that, I just you know-
 '''Kacey:''' You shouldn't hold a grudge against that, I mean you're 27. You should get over it. High school is over. It's been over.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I-
 '''Kacey:''' You have one year until your ten year reunion, I mean it's DONE. Done deal.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the beginning of that sentence, you said something about the reunion?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean, that's just showing how much time has passed.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So you should totally get over it. You don't wanna go there and, you know, talk about this, so people go, "Oh my gosh, this has been over, what are you talking about?" You wanna be adult.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... ''(Long pause)'' But I think that if, still, if I had've gotten an award, I would've felt- I would definitely have felt more- I could've felt a lot better, and much easier, to like you know, leaving high school behind. Like cuz you know, it was definitely more about leave- Me leaving my friends behind.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, just because you get out of high school doesn't mean you shouldn't keep in touch with your friends. Just leaving high school, it should be a good thing, because you're going on to bigger and better things.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. ''(Long pause)'' Yeah. Hm, you know I actually wanna talk about an adult thing, let's just talk- like you know, uh... Uh, how do you deal- Uh, it's like you know, you have your- You have your well-thought moments to yourself, and then you think- And then you think you don't go off (?) if you appreciate the uh... older things, and uh like you know, like- like the uh, older music and the older movies that you watch. You know, you better- You better appreciate them as an adult, cuz you- Rather than as a child, because you couldn't really understand it, it's like you know, recently I watched some- Recently I re-watched some [???] Brothers, and- and- and I have a better adult understanding of the movie than I did when I watched it there a number of times since I uh, was a child or a teenager. Uhh, what are some of the things that you reminisced about, that made you feel better? Or... And you felt, more better when you viewed it as an adult.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry I didn't get that, could you repeat that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... Some of the things that you used to, uh think about when you were a child, but then you kinda thought about as an adult and further appreciated as such. Uh, what were some of those things?
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Long pause)''
 '''Chris:''' Did you understand that? Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' Um... Uh... Not much.
 '''Chris:''' Not much. Okay... Hm, okay, um... It's like- Okay, what was the, uh, favorite movie of yours that you watched when you were younger? When you were young.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, it's still ''Labyrinth''. I mean, ''Labyrinth'' is a pretty old movie.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, by- Yeah oh by the way I watched- Anyway I rented it and watched it last night, it is a good movie.
 '''Kacey:''' You watched it? Oh, cool!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. All the complex- All the complexities, and uh... That made it like you know, yeah I think knowledge would be [???] you know. I like the part in the beginning with the uh, maze. Like, oh yeah, you think it's a wall, but then it's actually like you know, it's actually a space between the vines that's just- It's just like a visual illusion right there.
 '''Kacey:''' So what do you think about Jareth? I mean, Jareth was my favorite.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, David Bowie played him. Yeah, he's okay-
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my gosh, I know, he coulda stolen me any day.
 '''Chris:''' He coulda stolen you any day? What, like as a little baby?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, no, obviously not, but I mean, he was... He was- Oh, that fucking [[Pickle|bulge]]! Ooh.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean that's- I mean, the uh- Yeah. You would- You would be impressed by that, but as a guy, I'm not totally impressed with that.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Trying not to laugh)'' Why not, it's David Bowie! Everybody loves David Bowie!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well I'm str- Yeah well it's like, you know, uh... I don't wanna go into that, it's just like you know, just... Yeah. But, yeah, I'm straight.
 '''Kacey:''' But still, it's not like you can't appreciate.
 '''Chris:''' But I mean it's like you know, I appreciate his- I appreciate the way he sang, and yeah, he sang pretty good. But yeah I mean, then you go reference- referencing his BULGE. And then, that's like WHOA-
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, just because you can say another man is attractive or hot, doesn't mean you're gay, like I can easily say another GIRL is hot or attractive, and appreciate her for her womanly things, and it doesn't mean that I want to have a relationship with her.
 '''Chris:''' Uhhh, yeah but anyway- Uh, from my point of view though... Uh, definitely... have not really given it much- given it all that much though, and... Ahh, I don't- At this point I just don't feel like I could... care to really change my mind otherwise.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' But I liked how, uh, Jen- How uh, Jennifer played her role as the, uh, girl who went through da maze. That was pretty good.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' And then made the- And then made the friends along the way, like uh... Yeah she had that- That yeti-like guy, I think his name was, like, Yorda or something like that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, close enough, heh.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Kacey:''' I said close enough.
 '''Chris:''' Heh, close enough, okay. Yeah I kinda liked him, and... Oh yeah, there's like... I bet- You know, he keeps- He kept calling Hoggle, "Hogwart"? That's where- I bet that's where the author of ''[[Harry Potter]]'' got that- got that word. From that movie ''Labyrinth''.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know if that's where she got it, but... That's a good theory.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Chuckles)'' Yeah. It is a good- Yeah it is a good theory. But, a lot of things in life, you know, start off as theories until proven right or wrong. But then it's- Like you know, then it's- If I wanted to actually prove that right or wrong just from my point of view it's like, I don't know, I would uh, probably- I would probably go- would go look on Wikipedia for, uh... ''Harry Potter'' or whatshername, the author, I know it's a woman, I forget what her name is but because I didn't know I never came up with-
 '''Kacey:''' J.K. Rowling.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah that's it, J.K. Rowling, thank you. Uh, but anyway. Yeah I never cared mu- I never cared for ''Harry Potter''. No, but anyway- Uh... anyway what were we talking about- Oh yeah, proving theories, yeah I could just try looking it up on Wikipedia and see what they say on there. ''(Long pause)''
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, I don't know, I don't think she's ever admitted something like that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah okay, well then yeah she- She may or may not have actually she- She may or may not seen ''Labyrinth'', but I don't know, that's uh, one thing or another, um... Uh, but yeah, I've been still, you know, yeah, David Bowie played his role-
 '''Kacey:''' Why do you not like ''Harry Potter''? I mean, have you ever read the books? I actually enjoyed them. Like, I thought a lot better of it after I read the books.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I tried reading one of the books, but it's like I could not really get into it. And originally I did not like ''Harry Potter'' very much cuz... Harry was like, uh, in league- In competition with Pokemon. And-
 '''Kacey:''' Not it's not, it's two totally different worlds. It's way more advanced than ''Pokemon''.
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Yeah but, yeah... Yeah but, this was like- This was like years ago, I don't remember all the details, so I guess it's like, uh... I don't know, it's like you know, I'm still saying I hate- I don't like Harry Potter that much... But it's like- But it's like, I forgot the original reason why- ''(Chris suddenly starts yelling)'' I WISH THIS STUPID INCOMING CALL WOULD- Ugh, that Bandai guy keeps getting- That Bandai person there keeps calling me back, that... It's like, you know, the beeping is- The beeping of his incoming call is just interrupting... the conversation, it's like you know, at points it's like the beeps interrupt you when you're talking and it's just like, it bothers me, I wish this guy would QUIT. I mean why doesn't he get through is skull- through his fuckin' skull I mean I told him right off when I called him back, that he was like- that he was just calling toll-free- "Call my- call your number toll-free but quit calling my number, shut the fuck up goodbye", I wish- I thought he was gonna- I thought he was gonna quit 'cause he hasn't called for like, five or ten minutes, then he starts calling again and interrupting the conversation with you!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, he should have way more respect, I mean, obviously you weren't answering for a reason.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, what- 'Cause you know, 'cause I'm not- 'Cause I know he's a troll. And I don't- I've already established that I know that he's a troll. And I asked him to- And I asked- And I pretty much just forced- I pretty much, uh, raised my voice against him and told him to stop, but he's continuing on and on!
 '''Kacey:''' That's... That's horrible, he shouldn't do that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You're gonna have to be more firm with him.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Stress noise)'' Yeah. It's like you know, what- It's like you know, what I was saying is just I'm not exactly sure what to say, other than what I've already said.
 '''Kacey:''' Right, well I mean, let's go back to better things. Um... If you don't like ''Harry Potter'', what books have you read recently?
 '''Chris:''' The last book I read was Pamela Anderson's ''Star''. I thought that was a good story, for what she did.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I've never read that one.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah it's a good story, it's like, basically, she's like- It's like a book about- It's like, uh, as if she was writing her own life, but she was like renaming the characters, renaming herself Australia (?). Which is like you know, it's like-
 '''Kacey:''' That sounds crazy, I mean, I wouldn't put much stock in what Pamela Anderson does anyway, it's like when Courtney Love tried to do a manga, it's like, no thanks.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well it's not- I mean, like you know, yeah... You know, it showed that Pamela Anderson was definitely a smart woman, it's like you know, I wanted to appreciate her as, you know-
 '''Kacey:''' I'm pretty sure she had a ghost writer. I'm pretty sure she did.
 '''Chris:''' No, it- No, I- She pretty much- I do believe she said so herself, she wrote the book herself.
 '''Kacey:''' That's all publicity.
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, still- Still, I've read the- I've read most of the book, and I- and I've enjoyed it. It's a pretty good story.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but like, celebrites never write their own books. They just don't have time. They just slap their name on it. I mean, uh, how about any other books?
 '''Chris:''' Uhhhh... Yeah, other than that- Other than ''Star'', I haven't read- I haven't read too many other books. ''(Long pause)'' Uh, it's like you know, I've either- either been watching- I've either been watching television or playing video games... Uh, other than ''Star'' I haven't read a book since I-
 '''Kacey:''' You know what you should read, you should read ''Catch-22''.
 '''Chris:''' I've heard of th- I've heard of ''Catch-22''.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a great, great book.
 '''Chris:''' I've heard that- Yeah, oh you know, that reminds me of this joke I heard Pamela Anderson- On the show Pamela Anderson starred in called ''Stacked''. And then it's like, uh... Oh shoot, how'd that joke go... Um... Yeah anyway it was a Catch-22 pun right there, but I'll have to watch that episode again to, uh, find- figure out how it goes-
 '''Kacey:''' Do you even know what a Catch-22 is?
 '''Chris:''' "A Catch-22"?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, do you even know what that is?
 '''Chris:''' Ummmm... I think it's like- I think it's like a sexual touch, or something?
 '''Kacey:''' No, that's a innuendo. Um, a Catch-22 is where you're "Damned if you do, damned if you don't".
 '''Chris:''' Ohhhh. Oh yeah, I see that now, yeah, okay. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, yeah I get it. I get it, yeah. M'kay. Anyway, I was- Anyway, I'm right now I'm just, uh... I just got my copy of, uh, ''Star''. Uh, right by my side, so I was just looking at the, hm... About the author, it's like- Okay, yeah, I'm looking on the inside cover on this inside here... Hmm. Yeah it talks about the, uh, author company, uh, "Atria Books"? Uhhh, it says here "This book is a work of fiction; names, characters, places and incidents are-
 '''Kacey:''' You know what was a really good book, that I really liked? ''Battle Royale''. The novel, not the manga, that was awesome.
 '''Chris:''' "Battle Royale". Hm. Okay, well I'm looking at- Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about a couple of books recently that uh, you were in- that you were in- Uh, I should defintely look those up, I wrote them down in my thing here...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, like the "Looking Glass Wars."
 '''Chris:''' ''(mumbles confusedly)'' Yeah, oh, oh you're, no that's not it, I'm on the wrong page. Oh, here it is. Oh yeah, you were telling me about, uh, "The Looking Glass Wars," "(Red?)," and "Arch Enemy."
 '''Kacey:''' Yes. And "Seeing Red." Um, so, I mean, what books do you own, I mean, don't you own books that you can read?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I do own books. I got, I got, nearly all the Goose-, all the original "Goosebumps" books, ''(mumbles something)'', and some of the "Fear Street" books too.
 '''Kacey:''' Well do you have any adult books? Like, like, not erotic books, but adult books.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, [''pause''] um, well other than that, yeah, no, not really. Oh wait, I do have, actually, oh yeah, uh, oh shoot, I have a couple of other books in my collection as well. I have "To Kill a Mockingbird," and, uh '''Kacey:''' Oh good!
 '''Chris:''' and, uh this other one, I think this other one, I have this other one that I read back in High School as well. I think it was called ''The Giver.'' [''pause''] Yeah, I remember- I remember the story of ''The Giver.'' It was like, uh, yeah, we were living in- the setting was like, uh, a black-and-white time- time, where everyone was like, uh, the same, not too different from each other, and, uh, instead of like, you know- married couples and stuff, uh, just having a lot of children, it's like, uh, yeah they have birth mothers and, uh, birth fathers in these hospitals or whatever. They give birth to the babies, and the- and the- uh, and the- they don't even bother recording their actual birthdates or giving them their names there. They just, um, give them to the family and, uh, and think they do- I think they give- [''stammers''] I think the parents name the child. [''stammers more'']-
 '''Kacey:''' [''extremely annoyed''] Okay, well anything else?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, yeah, let me- let me finish talking about ''The Giver'' though. Um, but anyway, it centered around- around the, uh, boy, who, uh, was- was gi- was given- was given a job of being the giver, and was learning about all this stuff outside the, uh, black-and-white world where it's all colory- colory- he sees colors and everything, and then he starts seeing the color '''red''', among, uh- among other [''unintelligible''], and then he's like, 'oh, I'm starting to appreciate life now, then I wanna get out of this world,' then they ended the book, he takes his little brother and, uh, gets out of there, and then, it's like an open-ended- it's like an open ending there, so you're not really sure what happens beyond that. Anyway, uh, it's a- it's a compelling story, it's pretty go- Oh yeah! [''chuckles''] Here's a funny one! There's like a part in the beginning of the book, ''The Giver'', uh, where d- where this child is like waiting in line to get a ''snack'', and then- and then it's like a long line, and he's been waiting this- this whole time, and he's like, 'why have we been waiting so long? I want my ''smack''.' [''chuckles'']
 '''Kacey:''' [''forces a laugh'']
 '''Chris:''' And then the adults tear- and then the adults hear him, and then they- and then they- and then they hear him and they give him a ''smack''!
 '''Kacey:''' So, is there anything else on your mind? Like, I mean the email you sent me really worried me.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, well... Yeah, it's like when I'm still get- I'm still getting used to like, you know... Yeah, but, it definitely puts in perspective of why I'm often confused and blank. It's like points when I'm trying to think of something... It's like you know, it's like I'm switched over to Chris- To... Christopher. And, uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris... You know it doesn't happen like that, right? Multiple personalities never surface at the same time, and they usually don't know about each other, like you would have that blank feeling and that is it. That sounds like possession, that's NOT schizophrenia, that's NOT multiple personalities.
 '''Chris:''' Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Plus, you'd be born with it. You can't get it because of Autism. Or from a name change.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well uh, describe to me though, what uh- "Possession", what is that?
 '''Kacey:''' Possession?
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, this kind of possession that we're talking about here.
 '''Kacey:''' It's a possession... I mean, that's the only time I've ever heard of two different personalities being manifested in the same body at the same time. It means you're being controlled by an outside force.
 '''Chris:''' And... Sorry, what was that last one?
 '''Kacey:''' You know, like demons.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause)'' I don't know. But it's like, point is, it made me realize, like you know, yeah, you know... Me being Christian, I was- I was definitely the wuss and the [[Naive|gullible]] one. But then it took- And then it took the uh, dynamic half that I've been- that I've been talking to lately, uh... Made me-
 '''Kacey:''' Those are personality traits, those aren't personaliTIES.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Longer pause)'' Okay, well I don't claim to know everything about multiple personalities or whatever...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean you just can't make another personality come out like that, like it's not possible, you couldn't do it right now.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Even longer pause)'' Uh well I don't know, we'll just have to see about that, won't we? Heh. Anyway...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, if you think you have that much control over it, you should be able to do it right now.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Now Christopher)'' Yeah I pretty much just did! Heh, I pretty much just did. I'm the dynamic one right here!
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... So you're a completely different person. You don't know anything I've talked to you about before, you're completely different.
 '''Chris:''' I've caught wind of some of the conversation when you were talking to Christian, uh... Yeah. But, I don't know all the details, other than the fact that I've got ''Star'' right next to me.
 '''Kacey:''' Right... I mean, it still doesn't sound plausible at all. It really doesn't. I mean... That's like stuff you should go to a doctor for, 'cause that's definitely not healthy, like, you know that could be the sign of a brain tumor, right?
 '''Chris:''' ...Really?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, actually, it is. Like, next you're gonna be telling me that you feel like you're falling when you're standing.
 '''Chris:''' Falling on my standing?
 '''Kacey:''' No, like, people, when they stand, they could be standing or sitting, and they close their eyes and they feel like they're falling? That's a huge sign of a brain tumor. But this is what it sounds like, like it doesn't sound like multiple personalities, maybe you should really go get that checked out. I mean, this is what I'm going into, this is what I study. I'm really scared for you.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Pause)'' Uhh hang on, I'm gonna switch back. ''(Makes a noise to indicate that he "switched back")''
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Laughing at him)'' There no "switching back"... What??
 '''Chris:''' ''(Christian again)'' Uhh, yeah. Uhh, I heard a little bit, uh, you said something about... Yeah, well I did- I did hear about this, uh... Yeah, I'm definitely gonna schedule to see my uh, psychiatrist Dr. Pryce about this, ''(Kacey talks over him)''
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Still laughing at him)'' No, you need to see a doctor! Like, these are horrible symptoms!
 '''Chris:''' Well anyway- Look, anyway, yeah, psychiatrist, I got- I still got Dr. Pryce's number, he was the psychiatrist I went to during that year I was kicked out of, uh... the, so... I think-
 '''Kacey:''' No, Chris, these are real medical symptoms. Like, so if this is an excuse, you need to quit it. Because if not, you are probably extremely, extremely sick.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause)'' Hm. I see. Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, this isn't cool to play around with.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, but uh, yeah, to make it- To make a point though, he has- I mean, before last- Even before last Sunday, he's come out a few subtle times, like you know, uh... Yeah, when I play Guitar Hero, he comes out like you know definitely, he plays Guitar Hero a little bit, and I-
 '''Kacey:''' Who is "he"? Who are you talking about? If we're gonna play this way, fine. Who is "he"?
 '''Chris:''' I'm talking about Christopher. You just talked to him a moment ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay... So there's two of you.
 '''Chris:''' There's a big difference- There's a big difference right there just in the voice tone.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(Long Pause)'' And you can control both of you at will, then?
 '''Chris:''' More or less, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, like I said, that really sounds like, um, symptoms of something wrong with your brain, but you know, what do I know, I'm only going into the medical field.
 '''Chris:''' ...Alright well yeah, I mean, I'll definitely talk to my... Yeah I'll get in touch with my psychiatrist to talk to him about it, or uh...
 '''Kacey:''' A psychiatrist isn't gonna be able to help with that, like, a real doctor would have to, like... If you told this to a real doctor, they're gonna be like, "Oh my God, you need help NOW". So like I said, if this is just an excuse, you need to quit it. Because this can get you, like, in serious shit.
 '''Chris:''' ''(Long pause)'' Hmm. Well yeah, that's a lot for me to think about. Uhh... Yeah, but... I can schedule an appointment with my uh, with my physician Dr. McGovern, uh... Talk to him- Talk to him about that, and see what- See- Get his opinion... He's a medical doctor. Over at my- Over at, uh, Martha Jefferson Medical Clinic, nearby.
 '''Kacey:''' Is he a General Practitioner?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. Well then he can refer you to a specialist. But I mean, when's the last time you saw him?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not sure, last time I saw him was- I usually see him about, uh, every three or four months. Uhhh, so it's like I'm...
 '''Kacey:''' Alright well when was the last time you saw this psychiatrist?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, the last time I saw a psyc- A psychi- I saw Dr. Pryce was like, uhh... Uhh, two thousand six or seven. Something like that.
 '''Kacey:''' But, I thought you said in [[30 August 2009|the video]] and in the email that psychiatrist helped you bring out your other side, so... Why was there, like, a two-year delay? That doesn't make sense to me. At all.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh, when I was saying- Yeah, pretty much when I was saying that in the video... That was pretty much just something to, uh, give the trolls something- for the trolls, uh, inquiry, like you know, "Oh, you should go see a doctor", or something like that, it was just- It was just fuel for da trolls.
 '''Kacey:''' Um... Well... You used it against me too, I mean, I... That sounds like lying. I mean, did they give you any medicine?
 '''Chris:''' Uhhh, yep, I mean, they... Yeah, McGovern, they prescribed for me- Actually no, not McGoveren, original prescriber, it was like a doctor, this happened like, I don't know, in 1990-something. I was prescribed Paxil for [[stress]]... For stress problems, you know, keeping my stress down, whatever, but then I got upgraded- And then that went- And then Paxil went out- went out of date, and so I had to be switched to Paroxetine. Uh, but basically I- I was actually- Basically after- During the whole time I took- I took Paxil and Paroxetine, I never actually saw any emotional difference. Or, uh, like I mean you know, I felt- I mean, I still felt STRESS. And uh, all that- and all that stuff, it's- I- And then- Yeah, I recently- And I recently stopped taking the Paroxetine about a month ago, I mean, and then I felt- and then I- and then I fe- I still felt a little difference other than the fact like you know, I'm definitely feeling more CONFIDENT.
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's... That's good.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, like, you know... There's also, like... Yeah, one of the original-
 '''Kacey:''' You do know that the psychiatrist is just the person who gives you drugs, they're not like a psychologist.
 '''Chris:''' Well I don't know the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist, other than-
 '''Kacey:''' I just told you what it was.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah you just told me, yeah, psychiatrist is what gives me medicine, psychologist is, uh... Okay, psychologist, explain that to me, please.
 '''Kacey:''' Psychiatrists give you-
 '''Chris:''' No, ''psychologist''.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm doing both, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Psychriatrist gives you the medicines, and psychologists are the people who are like therapists that you talk to.
 '''Chris:''' Ohhhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhh. Okay, now I get it.
 '''Kacey:''' This is simple stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well you see, I did not know that. I did not know that. That's new to me, so I learned that, and I'm going to keep that in my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, they have different degrees, and different areas of study.
 '''Chris:''' I see
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, are you still on any medications at all?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, I'm taking Lipitor to try to keep my cholesterol maintained , but it's like, you know, my cholesterol wasn't really that high, but, you know, when I started Lipitor, I just felt, uh, I just felt, you know, it'd probably be a good step to keep it down.
 '''Kacey:''' Uh, uh, did your doctor recommend that?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, McGovern recommended the, uh, Lipitor. He, as like an optional thing, but, you know, if you want to it's a good idea. So, yeah, so, I've been taking Lipitor for, I don't know, a few years now.
 '''Kacey:''' ''(mortified)'' But, you're- you're twenty-seven. That's not something you should worry about at twenty-seven.
 '''Chris:''' Cholesterol.
 '''Kacey:''' But- that- you don't get it. most twenty-seven year olds don't have to worry about that. That's for- old people who can't help it.
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, yeah, but this was like a few years ago when I was threatened over bad cholesterol and trying to maintain it, along with exercise. ''(stress sigh)'' Yeah, I don't remember that conversation very well.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should just start eating healthier. I mean, I don't really know what you eat, but, obviously if you're on Lipitor when you're twenty-seven- I mean. What do you eat?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, mostly I eat like, mostly I eat like chicken sand- or-
 '''Kacey:''' From where? Chicken sandwiches you ''make'', or, from where?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, you know, like from, grilled chicken sandwiches like from McDonald's or IHOP-
 '''Kacey:''' You know that just because it's grilled doesn't mean that it's good for you. '''Chris:''' Well it's better than crispy
 '''Kacey:''' It, it doesn't matter. It's still bad for you. I mean, that's like saying- I don't even know. That's like saying that,um, eating a gallon of ice cream is better than eating a whole cake, because the ice cream has dairy.
 '''Chris:''' I never heard that before.
 '''Kacey:''' That's 'cause I just made it up.
 '''Chris:''' ''[chuckles]'' Oh, you just made it up. Oh. Okay. You just made it up.
 '''Kacey:''' Yep. Ha, I mean, but this isn't funny. You- you could- that shows a serious problem, you could be, uh, you could '''die''' from this.
 '''Chris:''' ''(long pause)'' Uh, well, if you suggest it then I could stop taking the Lipitor and uh-
 '''Kacey:''' '''NO! NO! NO!''' I mean if you're on it, you're on it for a reason! You need to stop eating all that fast food, I mean, how much, okay, you've got to eat something other than chicken sandwiches. What else do you eat?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, I eat- I eat- I eat salads.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, salad doesn't always mean healthy. I mean, what do you put on the salads? Do you put tons of dressing on it? Is there meat on it? Is there, uh- where do you get the salads from?
 '''Chris:''' It's basically just like lettuce, tomato, carrots, some cheese-
 '''Kacey:''' You see, that's where they get you, they put cheese on salads, I mean, where do you get these salads from?
 '''Chris:''' ''(pause)'' Yeah, they're like side salads from [[Wendy's]] or McDonald's.
 '''Kacey:''' Those- those aren't healthy, Chris. Just 'cause it says ''salad'', that- no!
 '''Chris:''' (''protesting'') It comes with- it comes with real vegetables!
 '''Kacey:''' It- but just because it- okay, but do you put any dressing on it?
 '''Chris:''' I do not put dressing on the salad.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean that's- that's good and all, but still- I mean there's gonna come a point where even this medicine's not going to help you. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''' Um,you're talking about the Lipitor, right? That's not gonna be good for me?
 '''Kacey:''' No, I mean there- there gets to a point where even modern medicine cannot help you because you've destroyed your body so much.
 '''Chris:''' ''(long pause)'' Oh, so much more stuff for me to talk to my doctor about.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't talk to you about this already! I mean, don't you read the nutritional facts? They have to be on fast food now.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, okay, do you eat anything that does '''not''' come from a fast food restaurant?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah, I sometimes, sometimes I buy food from the grocery store.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, like what? What do you have, like do you eat lean meat? Do you have fresh vegetables? Or is it just stuff like Hungry Man dinners and pizza?
 '''Chris:''' Once or twice, in like a- in like a month I have like a Hungry Man.
 '''Kacey:''' You know those things are awful for you, right? You know that they have like- one hundred per- like, they have like a '''thousand percent''' sodium, and tons of calories.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but mostly I have- mostly I eat like Healthy Choice- I- mostly I would eat Healthy- it, uh- of the frozen dinner varieties, I would eat Healthy Choice.
 '''Kacey:''' Even then those are bad for you, 'cause of all the preservatives. I mean, they have to have them, because it's not fresh. I mean- okay, that- is that all you eat, I mean, how many of those do you eat a week, 'cause you should only be eating them once a month at most, and even then that can hurt you.
 '''Chris:''' (''stress sigh'')
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, I'm sorry, I mean, this is- this is what I'm going to do. I'm gonna help people with this, that's why I'm trying to get fit myself, just, y-y- wow!
 '''Chris:''' I mean I'm tryin' to remember my, uh- I'm tryin' to remember some of the, uh, eating schedule from the past, like, month, er, from the past, like, month.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, okay, well can you cook things?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I can cook.
 '''Kacey:''' Like what? Like, okay, name the things that you can cook, but only if you cooked them for yourself and ate them within the last month.
 '''Chris:''' (''thinking hard to himself'') Within the last month. I can- I can cook the- I can cook vegetables in the, uh- '''Kacey:''' Like what? pot. Like green beans. Corn.
 '''Kacey:''' What do you cook them in?
 '''Chris:''' I put 'em- I put 'em in like- a pot- like a pot, with some water, and put them in the- I put them in the- on top of the oven.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but are they fresh vegetables or are they canned?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they're canned.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, that has tons of sodium too, Chris! It's all the hidden stuff. I mean, you need to get some fresh produce. I need to take you to like a farmer's market or something.
 '''Chris:''' (''coughs or something'') Excuse me. Yeah, I guess you probably- I guess you probably do. I dunno, er, I mean- I mean- (''pause'') that's a lot for me- that's a lot for me to think about right there.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, this sounds like eating habits that means, you know- '''this is why people don't live past thirty or forty.''' You know that, right? I mean, do you at least- do you exercise, um, you know, to ''balance'' it? I mean, like, I know you said we were going to go jogging, but, um, how often do you exercise, and what do you do? Do you do cardio?
 '''Chris:''' I do exercise. I walk about- I walk about a half-hour to an hour a day, (''pause'') around the neighborhood.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you know, you need to get your cardio up, you need to break into a jog or something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that's pretty strenuous. I- I- I mean-
 '''Kacey:''' No, it's not strenuous, your body should be used to this! You- you just need to get you heart-rate up... to a certain beat-per-minute. I mean, just power-walking would work. How are you going to go jogging with me if it's so 'strenuous'?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, maybe I was exaggerating when I said strenuous. Hmm, but, yeah, mostly, yeah, it's, I mean, I'm just sayin' mostly I- mostly I do walk. And sometimes I do speed it up a little bit.
 '''Kacey:''' See, this is the stuff that I- this is why I want to become a nurse, 'cause I see people doing stuff like this and I want to help them, because this stuff- it hurts me on the inside.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' I- I can't stand to see someone hurt their body so much.
 '''Chris:''' (''long pause'') Yeah, I hear ya. I do. (''pause'') Yeah. I'm like one that needs help in this sorta thing.
 '''Kacey:''' (''long pause'') Okay, well I'm- I'm gonna go, I've gotta finish up some homework.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'll let you go.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, um, I'll send an e-mail, um, with, you know, some books and stuff and maybe, you know, a couple recipes and stuff. Um, you know, I'll just send you an all-around e-mail, so, can you, uh, check that? I'll- I'll send it in a minute. I'm just gonna send you some links.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, okay, well then, I'll talk to you later!
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Take care.
 '''Kacey:''' Alright. Bye.
 '''Chris:''' Bye-bye. 
'''(''call ends'')'''

==External links==
*<strike>mp3 of phonecall</strike> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 5]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 7]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 5

2014-05-23T02:44:19Z

Export A:

29 [[August 2009]]

==Highlights==
'''CHRIS:''' "...It's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just was dumb on the subject; I never learned about that sort of thing."

*[[Chris]] just finished getting a "tough talkin' to" from [[Kim]] about getting a [[job]]; he already can't remember what she said.
*[[Kacey]] did research on how Chris can still receive the [[tugboat]] while having a job or something; he doesn't listen.
*Counselors at [[PVCC]] told Chris that they could get him a job; he didn't listen.
*Chris doesn't know what Financial Aid is; he promises to Google it.
*Chris didn't have any control over his own [[Chris and money|money]] until he was 23.
*Chris whines some more about being [[slow-in-the-minds|blank-minded]] and confused.
*Chris says he's willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
*Chris lies about how much he spends on the [[PSN]]. Compares buying game add-ons to having a magazine subscription to try and make Kacey understand it's not a big deal.
*Chris doesn't know anything about college because that happened yeeeeaars ago.
*[[CADD]] WAS HARD WORK BURNED INTO HIS PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
*Chris took tennis and ice-skating classes in college.
*Chris took accounting and/or marketing classes first, then "years later" he found out there were not enough jobs available in that field so he switched to CADD.
*Kacey says Chris is basically wiping his ass on his CADD Degree; Chris says "that was uncalled for". Only says he understands so that Kacey will shut up and let him leave.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 5
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|1GdPwM8rm5E}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 4]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 6]]
}} </center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello-o?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' I'm okay too. [content sigh] So um...
 '''Kacey:''' Um...
 '''Chris:''' Anything on your mind right now?
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Is there anything on your mind right now?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, um, did you go apply for jobs like I said?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. I go- I wen- I uh, uh, application at Wal-Mart. Uh, I'm gonna wait 'til... I'm gonna...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] That's good. Did you do it in person?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, I filled- no, I went online and did it. Filled it out for the Charlottesville store.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cause, um, I did some research for you. Um, about working with your disability. And actually, um, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Like you could- they put you on a trial work period or they- and they can extend your period of eligibility. Like, you could be making... um... like it doesn't matter what you make during the trial work period, like you'll get both still, your uh, your tugboat and your, uh wages. And, even afterwards if you're not making enough, like you can get both. It actually goes by what you make, not by how many hours you work.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... I see.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean that's actually really exciting! I mean, you could be technically making more than me. [Chris tries to interrupt, she keeps talking] Well, at least, you know, right now. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Well, I don't know. Um, I'm st- I s- still got to uh, wait to talk to uh, that guy from s- social security...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Chris! This is straight from the social security ''site''! This is a great opportunity! And even ''if'' you make too much money you can still keep your Medicaid, uh, benefits! I mean, how can you not be excited about this?
 '''Chris:''' I dunno... I got- I got- I just talked to Kim and she gave me some, uh, tough talkin' to as well, ya know, about uh, me getting a job and what not, uh... Also talked about uh, old school- also t- also talked about college days and uh, I don- I- I don't remember all the details but it's all- it's all ju- it's like absorbed- everything she told me is in the back of my head. It's- it's tattooed in my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, that doesn't really... [Chris tries to interrupt]
 '''Chris:''' It... it's...
 '''Kacey:''' ...that doesn't really sound like you listen to her a lot.
 '''Chris:''' I did listen to her! I did! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' But didn't you just talk to her and you can't remember stuff?
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, 'cause you told me that Kim calls before I do.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [pause] Hmm, but anyway uh... mm, let me think... let me think.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean uh- ar- are you- so I did all this research for you, and you don't even... care now?
 '''Chris:''' I do care! I do care. I appreciate it. I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean you're- I don't think you're really gonna do anything! I- I mean...
 '''Chris:''' [interrupts] I'm- I- I- I'm doing something! My family knows I'm out to look for a job.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so what did your family say?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... This- this- it- they're, they're all like, "Ah, well yeah, you gotta find out how much you're gonna earn, and how this is- how this is gonna- is gonna effect your social security, and uh, if you're going to be able to earn more than your social security..." Ahh...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to make a LOT more than your social security, like you need to make... Like, okay. Um... like, um, depending also on... w- you know, how your uh, quote unquote disability effects you getting to work and stuff... Like, they can take these expenses, um, and actually deduct it from your pay. Like so, even if you're making let's say a thousand dollars a month, um, if your disability causes you to have to do things that cost you two hundred a month, you're still- they- they count those two hundred, um, against your pay so you're still making- you know, even though you ''are'' making more than you should, they won't count it against you. Like you have to be making over a thousand dollars a month before they're gonna even... Even then they're only gonna take part of it away. They're never gonna take away all of it. Like you'd have to make a LOT more to where it wouldn't even matter. I mean and even if your parents are behind you or not, you're 27, right? I mean, you have to make your own decisions!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Yeah, I- I do have to make my own decisions, uh... yeah. Als- one of the things I talked to Kim about was like uh, I- I'm often confused with my li- I'm often confused about things that I actually, uh, want or... need. It's been that way for so many years. I mean like...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Well don't you think it's time for that to change then?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it- I do need to ah, that's ah- that's something I do need to change.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, you know, your whole life you're going to be figuring stuff out. There's not a magical upgrade that makes you an adult. I mean, I'm pretty sure, like, at times, my parents still need to figure things out and everything. I mean, we're not computers. We don't work like computers. We definitely don't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah you're right. You are right, about that. Hmm... but anyway one of my- anyway one of my problems in my mind is like ya know I... tend ta... I tend, I ah, I often do get confused, and uh, feel like I'm lost, and it's like- ya know, and I- I'm not- I have not been sure of what exactly I want in life other than my [[sweetheart]], and my little daughter [[Crystal]] that I have dreamed of... And pretty much, ya know, all my life, every time I've been asked "Where do you see yourself in five years?", I always draw a blank!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe that's showing you that maybe you should let ''go'' of Crystal and all that stuff. Maybe you should ''go'' in a different direction. Maybe you're getting ''blanked'' because you're not going in the direction you should be going in.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to focus on more important things.
 '''Chris:''' And- and that's another thing, I mean ya know, Kim could tell you more about the conversation we had, but uh- but she- she and I talked about that, but also like ya know, even during, even with, even - I have talked to my counselors in Piedmont, when I was working towards my CADD degree and certificate. It's like ya know, yeah sure they can help me get a job, and yadda yadda yadda... um...
 '''Kacey:''' Then why didn't you let them?!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] ...Yeah. I- it's jus- I- I have never been really sure what I wanted to go out for. I mean... I- I- ah- [stutters]
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Then you need to get back in school Chris! You need to do something. You're 27. You're- I mean yes, I know people are going to school, um older and older but, [laughs] come on! Isn't there anything you wanted to do even when you were little?
 '''Chris:''' I- I- [frustrated stuttering] I'm thinking about it! I'm mean I'm trying to- I'm ah- I'm ah- I'm trying to make- ah- [stutters]
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] C'mon, this is pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorting all this out and I'm thinking about it, and I'm going to do- I'm going to do something. It takes time for me before I can - before I actually - but I AM doing something, you know. I submitted the application for Wal-Mart, and I'm going to do one for Target, and I'm going to do one for Ma-Donalds...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. Remember when I said in other cultures you wouldn't survive? I mean come on. You need to take charge. I mean, you are an adult. You're gonna have to make snap judgments sometime. I mean y- I mean isn't there anything that you wanted to do when you were younger? I mean, even if it's something like making video games! You could probably do that!
 '''Chris:''' I mean, that is one thing, but... I- that- that is one thing but...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I mean you already have some CADD stuff, you could learn how to program them and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but unfortunately they don't teach that- those kinds of classes at like, uh, Piedmont. I'm not sure if there are any colleg- if there are any classes around here...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Whatever! They have stuff online you can take, Chris! You have no excuse!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but- yeah, I know, but I'm kinda reluctant on taking classes online.
 '''Kacey:''' No, okay, there's no but! You either don't have an excuse, or you do have an excuse!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, fine, I don't have an excuse. But... so many options, I'm not sure- I'm not sure wha- I'm just not sure where to ''begin''.
 '''Kacey:''' A lot of people are. Why don't you go talk to um, I mean if you can't go to PVCC, why don't you go to someplace else that's closer? Um, or why don't you go somewhere in D.C.? I mean... it would be easy for you to get housing. [pause, Chris sighs] Why don't you take a couple different classes and see? Or, or I mean, I bet you don't even research this sh- stuff.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] I have- I did- I do research- I do researching ya know... I've tried- I've gone onto social security dot gov, website... but I don't... I... I cannot understand it, I... [Kacey talks over him]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but I'm talking about school. Chris.
 '''Chris:''' [tries to interrupt]
 '''Kacey:''' Chris! CHRIS! Listen to me! No! Listen to me! Do you not realize the opportunities you have? Do you not realize they will ''pay'' for your school? They will ''pay'' for your boarding? They will ''pay'' for your transportation? Do you know how much I would KILL for that going through school right now? And I'm going to have to go through med school! And you are just SITTING on your ass ''wasting'' that shit when the government will BEG you to take it! WHAT the hell?!
 '''Chris:''' I didn't even know I had those options and I'm not sure how to activate those options. I never learned!
 '''Kacey:''' Go to a school! Talk to a counselor there! Talk to an adviser there. Fill out your, F-A-F-S-A. I mean, come on. There's SO much that you could just reach out for and... Ugh! I mean like, you could do anything!
 '''Chris:''' Ah- Ah, hold up there... S-A-S-A?
 '''Kacey:''' Your FAFSA? Come on. The financial aid application? How do you NOT know... [laugh] about... I- I- [cracks up]
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I do not know that. I've never even heard of that.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you not hear ab- ...Are you serious?! It's financial aid! You- you- you went to college!
 '''Chris:''' I've- I- I've heard- I've heard of financial aid but I never heard of S-A-S-A.
 '''Kacey:''' You haven't heard of a FAFSA? That- you HAD to have filled one out. I mean, did your parents pay for your college outright?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my parents did pay for my college classes.
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] Just go to a college. Just go to a financial aid office or just... Google-
 '''Kacey:''' -it. It's F-A-F-S-A. [Chris echoes, "F-A-F-S-A"] And it's so easy to do online. It so is. All you need are... you know what? You wouldn't even need much of anything 'cause you don't pay taxes so you don't have any W-2's or anything, or W-4's, so, pfft. And you're old enough to where your parents won't matter. So you could probably get - I mean you have no income and you're on disability, you - oh my God, they would pay for everything!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Well I will look into that. That was S-A-F-S-A?
 '''Kacey:''' F-A-F-S-A.
 '''Chris:''' ...Hmm. Okay, what's the acronym stand for? That will help me understand better.
 '''Kacey:''' Are you serious?
 '''Chris:''' Ya I'm serious.
 '''Kacey:''' It- it's just easier if you just Google that. I promise you. It- it's gonna come up. It- it's gonna be a dot gov site... [snickers]
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I will look- okay, I will look that up. And I will look into it.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. It's only five letters. [laughing] It- it's okay. Just- or just Google financial aid! That's going to be the FIRST thing that pops up on Google, I ''promise'' you!
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Financial aid, I will Google that. [Kacey sighs] My computer's on the other room. I'll uh, go take care- I, uh, I will- I promise you I will go look into that right after we- right after we finish up here. [long pause] Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' [short sigh] Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' I wa- I mean, it was just kinda like, ya know, I wasn't sure you were there, you know, you just paused for a moment. But yeah, I promise you I will go look into everything-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I'm just frustrated, y'know.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Well... i-it's not your fault that I'm a little bit re- that I'm a little bit [[slow-in-the-minds|slow]] sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but I mean like, this is stuff you should know. I mean this is- this is frustrating for me. I mean, like, I can understand ignorance, but I can't stand stupidity.
 '''Chris:''' No I- no it's not stupi- no, it's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just- was dumb on the subject, I never learned about that sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you not if you go to school? Obviously, SOMEBODY must have talked about, "Hey, I got my financial aid!", I mean, I'm pretty sure you could not go to college, and not even overhear somebody... talk about financial aid.
 '''Chris:''' I- yeah- I've overheard- Yeah, I've overheard discussions of financial aid. But it was like, ya know, I was like picking my classes... and... and I just didn't- I just didn't- and my parents did not make a big deal about it, and I just... didn't...
 '''Kacey:''' Well it's not up to your parents! It's not up to your parents to make a big deal about it. It's up to YOU to grab your future! [long pause]
 '''Chris:''' [sound of distress] ...Yeah, it is up to me, ahh... there is a lot for me to think about. Yeah, but I wa- but I will Google financial aid and I will, I will, uh, research that. Hm... And then- make it- make it- mmm, sort out what I really would like to do, and... mmm, do it. [pause] Damn incoming ca- ! [audio warps]
 '''Kacey:''' [sounding tired] ...What?
 '''Chris:''' [indistinctly] I think I might have touched a thing, wait. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, are you still there?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm here.
 '''Chris:''' I had an incoming call from a- from some 404, 67-something... it was a long number, obviously long distance... it was like...
 '''Kacey:''' 404?
 '''Chris:''' No... four- f- four-four... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay you- Hold on hold on, tell me it?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, it's like, four four- something. Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, no, go ahead and look up-
 '''Chris:''' It- it- anyway. Anyway. Anyway, it was like an incoming, it was incoming, and it was like, it was interrupting you, bothering me, you know. I got an incoming call-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Was the 404 an area code?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... it was like 447. I think... I don't, I'm not- [audio warps] -that might not be correct.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, there's a big difference between that and... [trails off]
 '''Chris:''' Ehh. Well never mind, never mind the phone number, the point was, i- it- the call was incoming while I was talking to you, and it just makes a beep, to my, to the speaker on my cell phone. And it just bothered me. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' [sounding excited] Two new voicemail! Shaddup, phooone, I'm talking to my- [pause] -talkin' to Kacey here. Dang phone, right? I mean, I'm sure you've had problems like that...
 '''Kacey:''' You're talking to your ''what''?
 '''Chris:''' I'm talkin' to- Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said, "I'm talking to my ____" -you're talking to your what?
 '''Chris:''' [sounding defeated] I- I'm talking to my ''friend''.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' [in a small voice] Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Just making sure.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, you have the right. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, yeah- I wi- I will, uh- yeah. I will... stay on track, Googling financial aid after we finish up here.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, you need to- you need to trust me on this. I mean, I'm not gonna- make you lose your tugboat. Not- not that I approve of it! Just to let you know, I mean, I think it's great to help get people in the right ''direction'', but you can't be on it for the rest of your life. I mean, you've already been on it what, since you've been eighteen? That, that's kind of pathetic, Chris. I mean, I'm- I'm ''paying'' for you to sit around and do nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [confused] Um... yeah wait a minute, paying for it when I was eight- no wait a, wha- what- What about paying for it when I was eighteen, from eighteen?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm a taxpayer. My money goes ''towards'' that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, before that. You said something about, uh, something happening when I was eighteen?
 '''Kacey:''' You- you've been on this since you were eighteen, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, the social security. Um... uhhh, yeah but the money was going to my parents, and uh, they did not redirect it to-
 '''Kacey:''' It's still coming out of my paycheck.
 '''Chris:''' It was not redirected to me until after- I think I was like 23, something like that. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ...What was that?
 '''Chris:''' I do not think they redirected it toward, redirected the money towards me until after I turned 23.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought that your money still went to your dad.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... the ma- I mean, it's like you know, they- uh, yeah, they had me on the disability since I was born, and my- and the checks were going to my mother and my father. And then-
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, since you were born?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, maybe since I was diagnosed with [[autism]].
 '''Kacey:''' I was about to say, 'cause, you- you can't just tell a child has autism once they're ''born''!
 '''Chris:''' [stammering] Okay well, I'm sorry, I got my- I got mixed up, I- I'm trying- I-
 '''Kacey:''' That's conflicting!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I got mixed up, I'm sorry. But anyway, uh, since I was diagnosed with autism-
 '''Kacey:''' How do you get that mixed up? [pause]
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] I don't- I'm trying- I'm gathering- okay, my mouth is going faster than my brain.
 '''Kacey:''' [cynical laugh] Aha. [another pause]
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm sure that's happened to you, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' Um. I don't know, I pretty much think before I speak sometimes, like, unless I get really, really, really angry.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah- [oddly echoing]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I'm pretty much in control of myself, I am... I AM in my late twenties, I have learned how to do this since I was like, eight.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I've learned how to, uh, control my speech as well, I mean like, my brain... where it can, [[Chris and English|think with my mouth]]. It's like, you know, when I'm feeling - frustrated or confused, I tend to, uh, lose control. And, get con- and, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you were way more in control of stuff. Y- you just told me that yesterday.
 '''Chris:''' I - yeah - I am more in control. 'Cause, I have to- [long pause] ...Yeah. ...Mmfh.
 '''Kacey:''' I- I don't know. Just sometimes you make this really hard. It- it really does. Because you are my friend, and I hate to see one of my friends do this to themselves.
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I- Okay- okay- Yeah, okay, I understand. I'm being difficult to read. And I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' It- it's nothing about you being difficult to read, it's just that I really don't think you're going to do anything.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going-
 '''Kacey:''' I- No! You're actually being fairly easy to read.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] I'm going to do- I'm going to do it. I'm serious.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I hope you are.
 '''Chris:''' I will. [long pause] Anyway, getting back - lemme - getting back to, uh, my discussion with Kim earlier. Um... yeah, she pretty much encouraged me to get a job as well. [something indistinct]
 '''Kacey:''' Good. I'm glad she did.
 '''Chris:''' Or, uh, Or- or getting- or- or try getting classes, or financial aid, all that, You know. Even to - move out of my house, and she's like - I tell her- I told her in the... streamline? From one memory to another? ...About the- situation in my head? Where often I'm like, blank-minded? And I get confused, a bit... along with that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' And, uh... at points she did make it clear, like, where I should begin? Like firstly, she said I should get a job, and then look at prices of an apartment, or housing? And then consider the bi- consider the, uh, the electricity, the uh, uh, water, the inter- the uh, wireless internet, the cable, all that. And then, I was like, blank-minded, and I was like- that went over my head, but still, I mean, yeah, that's a lot for me to consider.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, that is something to consider, but I mean, if you do move out on your own, are you willing to give up some of those things? Like, are you willing to have regular cable instead of digital cable? If it saves you a few bucks?
 '''Kacey''': I mean, are you willing to make those adult sacrifices?
 '''Chris:''': Uh, I guess I'm willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
 '''Kacey''': And you're gonna have to buy less video games. Yo-you just can't impulse buy.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... yeah... I'm trying to- I'm- I've been working on controlling my impulse as well.
 '''Kacey''': [over Chris] That's good, cause you really need to. I- I think you really need to, cause you can't spend hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.
 '''Chris:''': Um... yeah. I don't spend- I- I- That would be an exaggeration right there, spending hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.
 '''Kacey''': You said two thousand dollars, and the PS3 hasn't been around that long. [chuckle]
 '''Chris:''': It's been around for over two years. But anyway, yeah, hundreds a week that IS an exaggeration.
 '''Kacey''': [sighs?]
 '''Chris:''': I've actually had mine since like March 2007.
 '''Kacey''': Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but anyway, I- I don't- anyway, if I spend money on the PlayStation Network, it wouldn't be any more than 5-10 dollars a week.
 '''Kacey''': Well, I mean, it's not just, you know, your PSN stuff. I'm pretty sure you buy actual games. Uh, you know, so I mean that's gotta add up. I mean if you uh-only have 2000 on your PSN, imagine how much you've been buying for uh, like things like the Wii, and things for your PS3, like, you know, guitar hero controllers and the actual games and stuff. I mean, y-you probably spent m- uh- you if you spend just as much on those things on your PSN, that's $4000 in a year or two. That's ridiculous.
 '''Chris:''': [sheepishly] Yeah, I can see that.
 '''Kacey''': Th-that's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''': Hm... [long pause] Um... [another long pause]
 '''Kacey''': I mean, you know, that's a down payment on a car, Chris. [frustrated chuckle]
 '''Chris:''': Okay, I guess you're right, I guess that is pathetic.
 '''Kacey''': Tch, you're damn straight it is!
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] Eehh, but for the record though. Most of the- when I buy [[List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads|stuff]] on PlayStation Network, it's mostly like, you know, addons for Guitar Hero or LittleBigPlanet. Or addons fo-
 '''Kacey''': But that's where they get you.
 '''Chris:''': Well, for- or addons for the games I do have. I've- I actually am up-to-date on my add-ons for Burnout Paradise, by the way. I uhh... yeah I don't buy new games at like [[GameStop]], or used games at GameStop. The game disks, as much as I do the uh, add-ons.
 '''Kacey''': But still, you have- I mean, just to even get the add-ons, you have to actually have to have the game.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but still. I mean that saves me- that saves me trips to the GameStop to go buy a new game.
 '''Kacey''': Games are expensive Chris! I know how expensive games are. You can rack up that much easily by getting less you know, than you do on the PSN. All it takes is a three games and look! There goes almost two hundred dollars. [Skype sound]
 '''Chris:''': Hm... now that is an exaggeration right there. I mean...
 '''Kacey''': They're like $60 each. Three games would be $180.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but then you wait a while and then they go down to like 20 or... 30 or 20.
 '''Kacey''': That's a long wait, before they go to 20. That's a very, very long wait.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... that is quite a long wait. But still, patience is kinda worth it. I mean- I mean sure. You're looking forward to giving me uh- the new Ratchet and Clank game. It's like you can't even- you can't afford it.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] Yeah, but I mean. I don't think you're that patient with video games, Chris. Cause I mean, like. You're always- I mean come on! You've got most of this stuff like, brand new, like uh, you're already telling me that you've already put money down at GameStop, so you can't tell me that you're not buying new games at GameStop. You're doing that with the new Guitar Hero. You've- you- you- you know you do that. Don't lie to me.
 '''Chris:''': [stammering desperately] I know, I- Ok, I'm not... Ok, yeah, you're right. I do do that, with [[Guitar Hero]]
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] Then why are you lying to me? I mean, I hate stupid lies the most. What the hell Chris?
 '''Chris:''': Okay, think about it this- okay, you're starti- okay, say you started with Sonic the Hedgehog on SEGA genesis, then you wanna go out and buy
 '''Kacey''': [frustrated] What does that have to do lying stupid things to me? You- y- ugh!
 '''Chris:''': Oh, okay, okay. Okay, scratch that. I mean to say, like [pause] It's like when there are more and more additions from the beginning of the US service since the first game then it continues on from one game di- one game cartridge or disk to another, and it's like, or it's consider- it's comparable to like, a magazine subscription
 '''Kacey''': [pause] Chris... I- I just don't know. You- you're sounding- you're starting to sound like you need these games, or else. I mean, why do you have to keep getting them? I mean, does it bother you that much when you don't have them?
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] It does not bother me... [sighs again] Okay, it bothers me a bit.
 '''Kacey''': Chris, that's addiction. You know that right?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but... It's not like a...
 '''Kacey''': Chris, an addiction is anything that produces withdrawal symptoms. It does not need to be something that is bad or horrible. It is- it's just... what?
 '''Chris:''': Hmm... I see.
 '''Kacey''': That- That's simple psychology Chris. That's something you should know.
 '''Chris:''': Actually, I did not know that. I'm quite- I'm serious when I say that. I did not know that.
 '''Kacey''': I can't believe you didn't even take most- you know, simple prereqs in college.
 '''Chris:''': Um... pre-REPS?
 '''Kacey''': Prerequisites? Chris! How do you not know about college stuff, but you have a degree?
 '''Chris:''': Uhh, if I took prerequisites- if I took prerequisites that was in... years ago back in 2000. And it's not like I can remember a small detail like that. I mean, it's-
 '''Kacey''': [freaking out] That's not a small detail! Tha- that's college! What?!
 '''Chris:''': Well, my parents did not make a big deal about it when they helped me get into college.
 '''Kacey''': It doesn't matter- No no no no! Prereqs are not... it- they are not through your parents. They're through the college, just... I mean I... can't buy that you got a serious degree without having to do serious prereqs like that. What did you say you... I- I don't know. Whatever!
 '''Chris:''': I think you mean Comput- I think you're looking for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. Or CADD.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, how many years is the degree?
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] It was a [[CADD|four-year degree]], but I ended up earning-
 '''Kacey''': How did you get a four-year degree without any prereqs like that? How?!
 '''Chris:''': I sure I- I'm sure I probably took prerequisites, but I did not realize that that's what they were called... I did not know that- that they were called that word-
 '''Kacey''': You- You had nothing to do with any of your schooling beside showing up, did you?
 '''Chris:''': Showing up and doing my [[Love_Quest#Conflict_with_Mary_Lee_Walsh|hard]] [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Mary_Lee_Walsh_in_Sonichu|work]]!
 '''Kacey''': Hard work?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I- I did my work to the fullest of my energy. Every single- every single screenshot from the uh... gettin' in front of the computer, working towards- working on the projects for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design on the- and all that. Even then, when I fully designed the [[CWCville shopping mall]]. Both stories, all the stores, and the mayor's office. One step at a time. Every single click, every single detail. It's all... burned in my photographic memory
 '''Kacey''': Okay, then why can't you put that energy into getting a job or getting a better degree? Haven't you ever thought of getting your masters? Or anything like that? I mean- I mean, do you even remember anything from school? Besides that mall?
 '''Chris:''': I remember a lot of things from school.
 '''Kacey''': Like what?
 '''Chris:''': [really long pause] Yeah, I do remember that I had to- er- I had to take the certain amount of classes. I had to take a physical education class and art classes.
 '''Kacey''': You had to take a physical education class in college?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I took two actually. Tennis and ice skating.
 '''Kacey''': [surprised] Okay?
 '''Chris:''': I think I told you about the ice skating. That- that was- that [indecipherable]
 '''Kacey''': I- I heard- you told me you went ice skating. But I didn't know that was a college course. I mean, I'm sorry. I am not paying college money to go fucking ice skating! I'm sorry.
 '''Chris:''': I mean, that's the first time I ever learned to skate, of any sort. Even though I tried roller skating on my s- on my own one time, I just end up- I just kept falling. I didn't get much done out of that. But-
 '''Kacey''': Yeah- it- it takes balance.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, and differently-
 '''Kacey''': Yeah, it's really really really hard to fall on something with four wheels.
 '''Chris:''': Really really hard to fall on something with four wheels?
 '''Kacey''': Yeah, roller skating's like, way easier than ice skating or rollerblading.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, unfort- yeah, I rephrase that. I mean, uh- I did not have roller skates. I had roller blades.
 '''Kacey''': Roller skating and rollerblading are two totally different things. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, well I mean. When I want to learn how to roller skate, I just thought, you know, they have- cause they have- they're- they got the wheels on the bottom.
 '''Kacey''': [migraine sigh] Okay...
 '''Chris:''': [interjecting more] But that was so many years ago.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, do you remember anything substantial from school. Besides you made a mall and... you made a mall.
 '''Chris:''': I remember... taking my accounting classes for the first major I picked out. Even though I was confused, and lost, when I was- when I picked it out. And can't say any more cause I told her about that fresh from my memory. I talked with her earlier tonight.
 '''Kacey''': Why don't you go back into accounting? It's really not that bad of a job. It's not like you'd be getting a degree in philosophy or something.
 '''Chris:''': I don't even remember- I- I don't even remember if it really was an accounting degree, I think it was something else. Something like marketing or something. But then, years later, my father and I talk to my- talked to my couns- talked to my counselor- my guidance counselor. Eh, yeah. 2002, something like that. Anyway, turns out there were not as many jobs that that degree could get me, and uh, then there were more jobs available for Computer Aided Drafting and Design, so my father encouraged me to switch over because-
 '''Kacey''': Well obviously that's done you a lot of good. Cause you're not getting those jobs. You can't even find them. You can't even google them.
 '''Chris:''': Because I was- Because I'm very avid with computers that's why- and then I made the switch, and I just did, I agree with that-
 '''Kacey''': Apparently you're not very adept at computers if you can't even google something.
 '''Chris:''': I can google things!
 '''Kacey''': Then why don't you do it?
 '''Chris:''': I'm going to google the financial aid. And look for the S-A-F-S-A, F-A-S-A...
 '''Kacey''': The FAFSA. That's-
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I remembered that! And I'm going to do it.
 '''Kacey''': [pause then sigh]
 '''Chris:''': Anyway, yeah. Anyway yeah, switch- it was a major switch, but yeah, at least the credits are transferable. And also I do remember something from my accounting class. You know, the first in first out method-
 '''Kacey''': You do know that if you already used credits towards a degree they don't count, right? Like, you're gonna to have to start over.
 '''Chris:''': Wait, what?
 '''Kacey''': You can't transfer them. They've already gone towards a degree. Chris, seriously!
 '''Chris:''': This is like- this is like years ago. And those credits did transfer from my [unintelligible] major to my next major.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupting] Ok ok ok ok. Chris, Chris. How long have you been out of school?
 '''Chris:''': I would say over three years now.
 '''Kacey''': Then most of your stuff isn't gonna mean crap anyway. The classes expire. They will make you take them over. That's a problem I'm going through right now. You're probably not gonna be able to transfer anything. You're gonna have to start over.
 '''Chris:''': [sighs] But I've already got the degree and the certificate.
 '''Kacey''': Doesn't matter, then that's over! E-e- I mean, some things are just not transferable. I- I can't believe that you do not know how this works.
 '''Chris:''': [pause] Yeah, I was pretty much there to learn what was going on during the time and... yeah, my father did most of the bra- most of the brain- most of the brainwork there. I was just mostly- um- I was- I mean- it- in 2000-
 '''Kacey''': So what? You're gonna let them do that for the rest of your life? You need to know things. You need to be informed. [Chris sighs] I-I- It's up to your brainwork. I- It's- You might as well have never gone to college. Look at you!
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but at least I went to college and I earned a degree.
 '''Kacey''': It doesn't matter! No, no! Ok, I think people who go to college and waste their degree and waste their potential are way worse than people who never went to college and have hard work, and they have jobs, and they pay on their own. You can not act like you're better than people just because you went to college and did some crappy degree. I mean you- No, no! Even when I was working and not in college, I was still doing way more than you were!
 '''Chris:''': You know, there are a lot of people who actually have earned their degrees, and get their [interrupted] other things as well.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] And you're not one of them, it doesn't matter! You're not even using it, you might as well not have it. What's the point of having it if you're not gonna use it.
 '''Chris:''': I will be using it.
 '''Kacey''': Now you're not. Y- You won't even figure out how to- Chris, you- Ugh! Your resume is full of Sonichu and Rosechu! It has- you haven't even mentioned your degree!
 '''Chris:''': I did, under the educational references.
 '''Kacey''': What does that have to do with anything. You need to have priorities. Your CADD degree has nothing to do with Sonichu and Rosechu.
 '''Chris:''': It allowed me to design the buildings and fro- get a better scale- and better- and get a better perspective.
 '''Kacey''': You do not need a CADD degree to be a comic artist! It- it- it is worthless. You are wasting your degree. You are pissing on it. You might as well wipe your ass with it!
 '''Chris:''': That was uncalled for.
 '''Kacey''': That is NOT uncalled for. You are wasting it. This makes me so angry! You don't know- I am so big into education and knowledge and all this stuff, and you have so many resources, things that I will kill for. And I mean... doing your art on paper is different than drawing on a computer. You're not using a tablet or anything like that to make Rosechu and Sonichu, and even then, even the buildings, that's not even CADD work. I-I- I don't know what to say, I'm just so angry!
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] I don't know what to say either. I'm speechless.
 '''Kacey''': That's the problem!
 '''Chris:''': [pause] Yeah, I don't know a lot of things, that's the problem.
 '''Kacey''': I mean, if you wanna be a comic artist, get an art degree. Go to art school. There are art institutes everywhere.
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] Yeah, I guess so (on the priority?)
 '''Kacey''': If you think you're as good as you think you are, you- they will accept you right away. Make a portfolio for art school. Take online classes. Why don't you at least google portfolios for art schooling, and you're gonna have to have more than Sonichu and Rosechu in there. They're gonna want some still lifes and real lifes too. But if you [Chris tries to interrupt]-okay, if you want to go the Sonichu and Rosechu route, you're gonna have to make this. You're gonna have to do that.
 '''Chris:''': [sighs very quietly] Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': [Also sighs] I mean... I just don't know. I mean, people just aren't gonna do this stuff for you. And if they do, they shouldn't, because they're- they're only hurting you. You have to stand on your own two feet.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... and you said financial aid can help me get housing and uh,
 '''Kacey''': Nonono! Financial aid helps pay for your schooling. But the government, since you are on disability, will help you with housing. They'll help you with school payments. I mean, you can get so much, because they want people like you to help themselves, so you can get off that tugboat. That's the whole point. They are going to put more effort into you, so that you will stop [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|sucking on]]- you know, sucking up their money. And you will be a productive member of society. That's their goal. The-this whole program is supposed to help push you, not for you to live off of your whole life.
 '''Chris:''': I understand... I understand that. And yet I still- (spent time) at the Social Security office, into and addition to uh- in addition to the job thing. And I appreciate you doing your research for me. And I- I've kept that in my memory as well.
 '''Kacey''': Well, I hope you actually use it. Maybe I'll e-mail you the web sites.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': If you have any questions, you call the number that's on there. Or you can even ask me, but I'm not gonna do the whole thing for you. You have to do this. Kim's not gonna do this for you either.
 '''Chris:''': I understand.
 '''Kacey''': I mean, and especially with this trial work period. Let's say that they allow you to make as much as your monthly payments. That would be like, what $1,600 a month. You could put 800 of that away and you- you know, it's extra. You could- I mean, you- you have so much, and it pisses me off because I wish I could take it and be like, "You know what? I know how to use this, and I will." You know, give it to someone more deserving.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I wish I had your knowledge.
 '''Kacey''': I had to fight for this knowledge. Nobody helped me. That's why I'm doing this so late. You're gonna have to do it too, before it's too late. I mean, I earned my knowledge.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... I'm gonna do it too- I'm going- I'm going to earn my knowledge. And-
 '''Kacey''': You can't have these stress days. You can't have these mental rest days. You're- You're going to have to work hard at it hard; every day, every second of your life.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... I get it.
 '''Kacey''': I hope you do, I really do. Because I don't want to see one of my friends fall so f- hard.
 '''Chris:''': I understand. I appreciate your concern.
 '''Kacey''': Okay. [pause] I hope I've given you a lot to think about, but I'm gonna go ahead and go. Cause I have to work and- you know, and I have homework and stuff. I'll try to call you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''': Okay. I understand if you won't be able to. But you know-
 '''Kacey''': I'll- I'll e-mail you at least. Okay?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, all right.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, I'll let you know if I can or not.
 '''Chris:''': And I'll- I'll google the financial aid.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, good, good. Now remember it's not- it's nothing wrong for asking for little help, but don't let people do everything for you.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, all right, bye.
 '''Chris:''': All right, stay safe. Bye [hangs up]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 4]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 6]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 5

2014-05-23T02:11:41Z

Export A:

29 [[August 2009]]

==Highlights==
'''CHRIS:''' "...It's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just was dumb on the subject; I never learned about that sort of thing."

*[[Chris]] just finished getting a "tough talkin' to" from [[Kim]] about getting a [[job]]; he already can't remember what she said.
*[[Kacey]] did research on how Chris can still receive the [[tugboat]] while having a job or something; he doesn't listen.
*Counselors at [[PVCC]] told Chris that they could get him a job; he didn't listen.
*Chris doesn't know what Financial Aid is; he promises to Google it.
*Chris didn't have any control over his own [[Chris and money|money]] until he was 23.
*Chris whines some more about being [[slow-in-the-minds|blank-minded]] and confused.
*Chris says he's willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
*Chris lies about how much he spends on the [[PSN]]. Compares buying game add-ons to having a magazine subscription to try and make Kacey understand it's not a big deal.
*Chris doesn't know anything about college because that happened yeeeeaars ago.
*[[CADD]] WAS HARD WORK BURNED INTO HIS PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
*Chris took tennis and ice-skating classes in college.
*Chris took accounting and/or marketing classes first, then "years later" he found out there were not enough jobs available in that field so he switched to CADD.
*Kacey says Chris is basically wiping his ass on his CADD Degree; Chris says "that was uncalled for". Only says he understands so that Kacey will shut up and let him leave.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 5
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|eNs7wDssVqQ}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 4]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 6]]
}} </center>

 '''Chris:''' Hello-o?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' I'm okay too. [content sigh] So um...
 '''Kacey:''' Um...
 '''Chris:''' Anything on your mind right now?
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Is there anything on your mind right now?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, um, did you go apply for jobs like I said?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. I go- I wen- I uh, uh, application at Wal-Mart. Uh, I'm gonna wait 'til... I'm gonna...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] That's good. Did you do it in person?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, I filled- no, I went online and did it. Filled it out for the Charlottesville store.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, cause, um, I did some research for you. Um, about working with your disability. And actually, um, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Like you could- they put you on a trial work period or they- and they can extend your period of eligibility. Like, you could be making... um... like it doesn't matter what you make during the trial work period, like you'll get both still, your uh, your tugboat and your, uh wages. And, even afterwards if you're not making enough, like you can get both. It actually goes by what you make, not by how many hours you work.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... I see.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I mean that's actually really exciting! I mean, you could be technically making more than me. [Chris tries to interrupt, she keeps talking] Well, at least, you know, right now. [laughs]
 '''Chris:''' Well, I don't know. Um, I'm st- I s- still got to uh, wait to talk to uh, that guy from s- social security...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Chris! This is straight from the social security ''site''! This is a great opportunity! And even ''if'' you make too much money you can still keep your Medicaid, uh, benefits! I mean, how can you not be excited about this?
 '''Chris:''' I dunno... I got- I got- I just talked to Kim and she gave me some, uh, tough talkin' to as well, ya know, about uh, me getting a job and what not, uh... Also talked about uh, old school- also t- also talked about college days and uh, I don- I- I don't remember all the details but it's all- it's all ju- it's like absorbed- everything she told me is in the back of my head. It's- it's tattooed in my head.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, that doesn't really... [Chris tries to interrupt]
 '''Chris:''' It... it's...
 '''Kacey:''' ...that doesn't really sound like you listen to her a lot.
 '''Chris:''' I did listen to her! I did! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' But didn't you just talk to her and you can't remember stuff?
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, 'cause you told me that Kim calls before I do.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [pause] Hmm, but anyway uh... mm, let me think... let me think.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean uh- ar- are you- so I did all this research for you, and you don't even... care now?
 '''Chris:''' I do care! I do care. I appreciate it. I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean you're- I don't think you're really gonna do anything! I- I mean...
 '''Chris:''' [interrupts] I'm- I- I- I'm doing something! My family knows I'm out to look for a job.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so what did your family say?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... This- this- it- they're, they're all like, "Ah, well yeah, you gotta find out how much you're gonna earn, and how this is- how this is gonna- is gonna effect your social security, and uh, if you're going to be able to earn more than your social security..." Ahh...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to make a LOT more than your social security, like you need to make... Like, okay. Um... like, um, depending also on... w- you know, how your uh, quote unquote disability effects you getting to work and stuff... Like, they can take these expenses, um, and actually deduct it from your pay. Like so, even if you're making let's say a thousand dollars a month, um, if your disability causes you to have to do things that cost you two hundred a month, you're still- they- they count those two hundred, um, against your pay so you're still making- you know, even though you ''are'' making more than you should, they won't count it against you. Like you have to be making over a thousand dollars a month before they're gonna even... Even then they're only gonna take part of it away. They're never gonna take away all of it. Like you'd have to make a LOT more to where it wouldn't even matter. I mean and even if your parents are behind you or not, you're 27, right? I mean, you have to make your own decisions!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Yeah, I- I do have to make my own decisions, uh... yeah. Als- one of the things I talked to Kim about was like uh, I- I'm often confused with my li- I'm often confused about things that I actually, uh, want or... need. It's been that way for so many years. I mean like...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Well don't you think it's time for that to change then?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah it- I do need to ah, that's ah- that's something I do need to change.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, you know, your whole life you're going to be figuring stuff out. There's not a magical upgrade that makes you an adult. I mean, I'm pretty sure, like, at times, my parents still need to figure things out and everything. I mean, we're not computers. We don't work like computers. We definitely don't.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah you're right. You are right, about that. Hmm... but anyway one of my- anyway one of my problems in my mind is like ya know I... tend ta... I tend, I ah, I often do get confused, and uh, feel like I'm lost, and it's like- ya know, and I- I'm not- I have not been sure of what exactly I want in life other than my [[sweetheart]], and my little daughter [[Crystal]] that I have dreamed of... And pretty much, ya know, all my life, every time I've been asked "Where do you see yourself in five years?", I always draw a blank!
 '''Kacey:''' Well, maybe that's showing you that maybe you should let ''go'' of Crystal and all that stuff. Maybe you should ''go'' in a different direction. Maybe you're getting ''blanked'' because you're not going in the direction you should be going in.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but...
 '''Kacey:''' You need to focus on more important things.
 '''Chris:''' And- and that's another thing, I mean ya know, Kim could tell you more about the conversation we had, but uh- but she- she and I talked about that, but also like ya know, even during, even with, even - I have talked to my counselors in Piedmont, when I was working towards my CADD degree and certificate. It's like ya know, yeah sure they can help me get a job, and yadda yadda yadda... um...
 '''Kacey:''' Then why didn't you let them?!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] ...Yeah. I- it's jus- I- I have never been really sure what I wanted to go out for. I mean... I- I- ah- [stutters]
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Then you need to get back in school Chris! You need to do something. You're 27. You're- I mean yes, I know people are going to school, um older and older but, [laughs] come on! Isn't there anything you wanted to do even when you were little?
 '''Chris:''' I- I- [frustrated stuttering] I'm thinking about it! I'm mean I'm trying to- I'm ah- I'm ah- I'm trying to make- ah- [stutters]
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] C'mon, this is pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorting all this out and I'm thinking about it, and I'm going to do- I'm going to do something. It takes time for me before I can - before I actually - but I AM doing something, you know. I submitted the application for Wal-Mart, and I'm going to do one for Target, and I'm going to do one for Ma-Donalds...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. Remember when I said in other cultures you wouldn't survive? I mean come on. You need to take charge. I mean, you are an adult. You're gonna have to make snap judgments sometime. I mean y- I mean isn't there anything that you wanted to do when you were younger? I mean, even if it's something like making video games! You could probably do that!
 '''Chris:''' I mean, that is one thing, but... I- that- that is one thing but...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I mean you already have some CADD stuff, you could learn how to program them and stuff.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but unfortunately they don't teach that- those kinds of classes at like, uh, Piedmont. I'm not sure if there are any colleg- if there are any classes around here...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Whatever! They have stuff online you can take, Chris! You have no excuse!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but- yeah, I know, but I'm kinda reluctant on taking classes online.
 '''Kacey:''' No, okay, there's no but! You either don't have an excuse, or you do have an excuse!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, fine, I don't have an excuse. But... so many options, I'm not sure- I'm not sure wha- I'm just not sure where to ''begin''.
 '''Kacey:''' A lot of people are. Why don't you go talk to um, I mean if you can't go to PVCC, why don't you go to someplace else that's closer? Um, or why don't you go somewhere in D.C.? I mean... it would be easy for you to get housing. [pause, Chris sighs] Why don't you take a couple different classes and see? Or, or I mean, I bet you don't even research this sh- stuff.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] I have- I did- I do research- I do researching ya know... I've tried- I've gone onto social security dot gov, website... but I don't... I... I cannot understand it, I... [Kacey talks over him]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but I'm talking about school. Chris.
 '''Chris:''' [tries to interrupt]
 '''Kacey:''' Chris! CHRIS! Listen to me! No! Listen to me! Do you not realize the opportunities you have? Do you not realize they will ''pay'' for your school? They will ''pay'' for your boarding? They will ''pay'' for your transportation? Do you know how much I would KILL for that going through school right now? And I'm going to have to go through med school! And you are just SITTING on your ass ''wasting'' that shit when the government will BEG you to take it! WHAT the hell?!
 '''Chris:''' I didn't even know I had those options and I'm not sure how to activate those options. I never learned!
 '''Kacey:''' Go to a school! Talk to a counselor there! Talk to an adviser there. Fill out your, F-A-F-S-A. I mean, come on. There's SO much that you could just reach out for and... Ugh! I mean like, you could do anything!
 '''Chris:''' Ah- Ah, hold up there... S-A-S-A?
 '''Kacey:''' Your FAFSA? Come on. The financial aid application? How do you NOT know... [laugh] about... I- I- [cracks up]
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I do not know that. I've never even heard of that.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you not hear ab- ...Are you serious?! It's financial aid! You- you- you went to college!
 '''Chris:''' I've- I- I've heard- I've heard of financial aid but I never heard of S-A-S-A.
 '''Kacey:''' You haven't heard of a FAFSA? That- you HAD to have filled one out. I mean, did your parents pay for your college outright?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my parents did pay for my college classes.
 '''Kacey:''' [sigh] Just go to a college. Just go to a financial aid office or just... Google-
 '''Kacey:''' -it. It's F-A-F-S-A. [Chris echoes, "F-A-F-S-A"] And it's so easy to do online. It so is. All you need are... you know what? You wouldn't even need much of anything 'cause you don't pay taxes so you don't have any W-2's or anything, or W-4's, so, pfft. And you're old enough to where your parents won't matter. So you could probably get - I mean you have no income and you're on disability, you - oh my God, they would pay for everything!
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Well I will look into that. That was S-A-F-S-A?
 '''Kacey:''' F-A-F-S-A.
 '''Chris:''' ...Hmm. Okay, what's the acronym stand for? That will help me understand better.
 '''Kacey:''' Are you serious?
 '''Chris:''' Ya I'm serious.
 '''Kacey:''' It- it's just easier if you just Google that. I promise you. It- it's gonna come up. It- it's gonna be a dot gov site... [snickers]
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I will look- okay, I will look that up. And I will look into it.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. It's only five letters. [laughing] It- it's okay. Just- or just Google financial aid! That's going to be the FIRST thing that pops up on Google, I ''promise'' you!
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Financial aid, I will Google that. [Kacey sighs] My computer's on the other room. I'll uh, go take care- I, uh, I will- I promise you I will go look into that right after we- right after we finish up here. [long pause] Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' [short sigh] Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' I wa- I mean, it was just kinda like, ya know, I wasn't sure you were there, you know, you just paused for a moment. But yeah, I promise you I will go look into everything-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I'm just frustrated, y'know.
 '''Chris:''' [pause] Well... i-it's not your fault that I'm a little bit re- that I'm a little bit [[slow-in-the-minds|slow]] sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but I mean like, this is stuff you should know. I mean this is- this is frustrating for me. I mean, like, I can understand ignorance, but I can't stand stupidity.
 '''Chris:''' No I- no it's not stupi- no, it's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just- was dumb on the subject, I never learned about that sort of thing.
 '''Kacey:''' How do you not if you go to school? Obviously, SOMEBODY must have talked about, "Hey, I got my financial aid!", I mean, I'm pretty sure you could not go to college, and not even overhear somebody... talk about financial aid.
 '''Chris:''' I- yeah- I've overheard- Yeah, I've overheard discussions of financial aid. But it was like, ya know, I was like picking my classes... and... and I just didn't- I just didn't- and my parents did not make a big deal about it, and I just... didn't...
 '''Kacey:''' Well it's not up to your parents! It's not up to your parents to make a big deal about it. It's up to YOU to grab your future! [long pause]
 '''Chris:''' [sound of distress] ...Yeah, it is up to me, ahh... there is a lot for me to think about. Yeah, but I wa- but I will Google financial aid and I will, I will, uh, research that. Hm... And then- make it- make it- mmm, sort out what I really would like to do, and... mmm, do it. [pause] Damn incoming ca- ! [audio warps]
 '''Kacey:''' [sounding tired] ...What?
 '''Chris:''' [indistinctly] I think I might have touched a thing, wait. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, are you still there?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm here.
 '''Chris:''' I had an incoming call from a- from some 404, 67-something... it was a long number, obviously long distance... it was like...
 '''Kacey:''' 404?
 '''Chris:''' No... four- f- four-four... uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay you- Hold on hold on, tell me it?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, it's like, four four- something. Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, no, go ahead and look up-
 '''Chris:''' It- it- anyway. Anyway. Anyway, it was like an incoming, it was incoming, and it was like, it was interrupting you, bothering me, you know. I got an incoming call-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Was the 404 an area code?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... it was like 447. I think... I don't, I'm not- [audio warps] -that might not be correct.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, there's a big difference between that and... [trails off]
 '''Chris:''' Ehh. Well never mind, never mind the phone number, the point was, i- it- the call was incoming while I was talking to you, and it just makes a beep, to my, to the speaker on my cell phone. And it just bothered me. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' [sounding excited] Two new voicemail! Shaddup, phooone, I'm talking to my- [pause] -talkin' to Kacey here. Dang phone, right? I mean, I'm sure you've had problems like that...
 '''Kacey:''' You're talking to your ''what''?
 '''Chris:''' I'm talkin' to- Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said, "I'm talking to my ____" -you're talking to your what?
 '''Chris:''' [sounding defeated] I- I'm talking to my ''friend''.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' [in a small voice] Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Just making sure.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, you have the right. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, yeah- I wi- I will, uh- yeah. I will... stay on track, Googling financial aid after we finish up here.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, you need to- you need to trust me on this. I mean, I'm not gonna- make you lose your tugboat. Not- not that I approve of it! Just to let you know, I mean, I think it's great to help get people in the right ''direction'', but you can't be on it for the rest of your life. I mean, you've already been on it what, since you've been eighteen? That, that's kind of pathetic, Chris. I mean, I'm- I'm ''paying'' for you to sit around and do nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [confused] Um... yeah wait a minute, paying for it when I was eight- no wait a, wha- what- What about paying for it when I was eighteen, from eighteen?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm a taxpayer. My money goes ''towards'' that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah, before that. You said something about, uh, something happening when I was eighteen?
 '''Kacey:''' You- you've been on this since you were eighteen, correct?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, the social security. Um... uhhh, yeah but the money was going to my parents, and uh, they did not redirect it to-
 '''Kacey:''' It's still coming out of my paycheck.
 '''Chris:''' It was not redirected to me until after- I think I was like 23, something like that. [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ...What was that?
 '''Chris:''' I do not think they redirected it toward, redirected the money towards me until after I turned 23.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought that your money still went to your dad.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... the ma- I mean, it's like you know, they- uh, yeah, they had me on the disability since I was born, and my- and the checks were going to my mother and my father. And then-
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, since you were born?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, maybe since I was diagnosed with [[autism]].
 '''Kacey:''' I was about to say, 'cause, you- you can't just tell a child has autism once they're ''born''!
 '''Chris:''' [stammering] Okay well, I'm sorry, I got my- I got mixed up, I- I'm trying- I-
 '''Kacey:''' That's conflicting!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I got mixed up, I'm sorry. But anyway, uh, since I was diagnosed with autism-
 '''Kacey:''' How do you get that mixed up? [pause]
 '''Chris:''' [stress sigh] I don't- I'm trying- I'm gathering- okay, my mouth is going faster than my brain.
 '''Kacey:''' [cynical laugh] Aha. [another pause]
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm sure that's happened to you, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' Um. I don't know, I pretty much think before I speak sometimes, like, unless I get really, really, really angry.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah- [oddly echoing]
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I'm pretty much in control of myself, I am... I AM in my late twenties, I have learned how to do this since I was like, eight.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, I've learned how to, uh, control my speech as well, I mean like, my brain... where it can, [[Chris and English|think with my mouth]]. It's like, you know, when I'm feeling - frustrated or confused, I tend to, uh, lose control. And, get con- and, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you said you were way more in control of stuff. Y- you just told me that yesterday.
 '''Chris:''' I - yeah - I am more in control. 'Cause, I have to- [long pause] ...Yeah. ...Mmfh.
 '''Kacey:''' I- I don't know. Just sometimes you make this really hard. It- it really does. Because you are my friend, and I hate to see one of my friends do this to themselves.
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I- Okay- okay- Yeah, okay, I understand. I'm being difficult to read. And I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' It- it's nothing about you being difficult to read, it's just that I really don't think you're going to do anything.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going-
 '''Kacey:''' I- No! You're actually being fairly easy to read.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] I'm going to do- I'm going to do it. I'm serious.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I hope you are.
 '''Chris:''' I will. [long pause] Anyway, getting back - lemme - getting back to, uh, my discussion with Kim earlier. Um... yeah, she pretty much encouraged me to get a job as well. [something indistinct]
 '''Kacey:''' Good. I'm glad she did.
 '''Chris:''' Or, uh, Or- or getting- or- or try getting classes, or financial aid, all that, You know. Even to - move out of my house, and she's like - I tell her- I told her in the... streamline? From one memory to another? ...About the- situation in my head? Where often I'm like, blank-minded? And I get confused, a bit... along with that?
 '''Kacey:''' Uh-huh.
 '''Chris:''' And, uh... at points she did make it clear, like, where I should begin? Like firstly, she said I should get a job, and then look at prices of an apartment, or housing? And then consider the bi- consider the, uh, the electricity, the uh, uh, water, the inter- the uh, wireless internet, the cable, all that. And then, I was like, blank-minded, and I was like- that went over my head, but still, I mean, yeah, that's a lot for me to consider.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, that is something to consider, but I mean, if you do move out on your own, are you willing to give up some of those things? Like, are you willing to have regular cable instead of digital cable? If it saves you a few bucks?
 '''Kacey''': I mean, are you willing to make those adult sacrifices?
 '''Chris:''': Uh, I guess I'm willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
 '''Kacey''': And you're gonna have to buy less video games. Yo-you just can't impulse buy.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... yeah... I'm trying to- I'm- I've been working on controlling my impulse as well.
 '''Kacey''': [over Chris] That's good, cause you really need to. I- I think you really need to, cause you can't spend hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.
 '''Chris:''': Um... yeah. I don't spend- I- I- That would be an exaggeration right there, spending hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.
 '''Kacey''': You said two thousand dollars, and the PS3 hasn't been around that long. [chuckle]
 '''Chris:''': It's been around for over two years. But anyway, yeah, hundreds a week that IS an exaggeration.
 '''Kacey''': [sighs?]
 '''Chris:''': I've actually had mine since like March 2007.
 '''Kacey''': Uh huh.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but anyway, I- I don't- anyway, if I spend money on the PlayStation Network, it wouldn't be any more than 5-10 dollars a week.
 '''Kacey''': Well, I mean, it's not just, you know, your PSN stuff. I'm pretty sure you buy actual games. Uh, you know, so I mean that's gotta add up. I mean if you uh-only have 2000 on your PSN, imagine how much you've been buying for uh, like things like the Wii, and things for your PS3, like, you know, guitar hero controllers and the actual games and stuff. I mean, y-you probably spent m- uh- you if you spend just as much on those things on your PSN, that's $4000 in a year or two. That's ridiculous.
 '''Chris:''': [sheepishly] Yeah, I can see that.
 '''Kacey''': Th-that's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''': Hm... [long pause] Um... [another long pause]
 '''Kacey''': I mean, you know, that's a down payment on a car, Chris. [frustrated chuckle]
 '''Chris:''': Okay, I guess you're right, I guess that is pathetic.
 '''Kacey''': Tch, you're damn straight it is!
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] Eehh, but for the record though. Most of the- when I buy [[List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads|stuff]] on PlayStation Network, it's mostly like, you know, addons for Guitar Hero or LittleBigPlanet. Or addons fo-
 '''Kacey''': But that's where they get you.
 '''Chris:''': Well, for- or addons for the games I do have. I've- I actually am up-to-date on my add-ons for Burnout Paradise, by the way. I uhh... yeah I don't buy new games at like [[GameStop]], or used games at GameStop. The game disks, as much as I do the uh, add-ons.
 '''Kacey''': But still, you have- I mean, just to even get the add-ons, you have to actually have to have the game.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but still. I mean that saves me- that saves me trips to the GameStop to go buy a new game.
 '''Kacey''': Games are expensive Chris! I know how expensive games are. You can rack up that much easily by getting less you know, than you do on the PSN. All it takes is a three games and look! There goes almost two hundred dollars. [Skype sound]
 '''Chris:''': Hm... now that is an exaggeration right there. I mean...
 '''Kacey''': They're like $60 each. Three games would be $180.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but then you wait a while and then they go down to like 20 or... 30 or 20.
 '''Kacey''': That's a long wait, before they go to 20. That's a very, very long wait.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... that is quite a long wait. But still, patience is kinda worth it. I mean- I mean sure. You're looking forward to giving me uh- the new Ratchet and Clank game. It's like you can't even- you can't afford it.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] Yeah, but I mean. I don't think you're that patient with video games, Chris. Cause I mean, like. You're always- I mean come on! You've got most of this stuff like, brand new, like uh, you're already telling me that you've already put money down at GameStop, so you can't tell me that you're not buying new games at GameStop. You're doing that with the new Guitar Hero. You've- you- you- you know you do that. Don't lie to me.
 '''Chris:''': [stammering desperately] I know, I- Ok, I'm not... Ok, yeah, you're right. I do do that, with [[Guitar Hero]]
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] Then why are you lying to me? I mean, I hate stupid lies the most. What the hell Chris?
 '''Chris:''': Okay, think about it this- okay, you're starti- okay, say you started with Sonic the Hedgehog on SEGA genesis, then you wanna go out and buy
 '''Kacey''': [frustrated] What does that have to do lying stupid things to me? You- y- ugh!
 '''Chris:''': Oh, okay, okay. Okay, scratch that. I mean to say, like [pause] It's like when there are more and more additions from the beginning of the US service since the first game then it continues on from one game di- one game cartridge or disk to another, and it's like, or it's consider- it's comparable to like, a magazine subscription
 '''Kacey''': [pause] Chris... I- I just don't know. You- you're sounding- you're starting to sound like you need these games, or else. I mean, why do you have to keep getting them? I mean, does it bother you that much when you don't have them?
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] It does not bother me... [sighs again] Okay, it bothers me a bit.
 '''Kacey''': Chris, that's addiction. You know that right?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but... It's not like a...
 '''Kacey''': Chris, an addiction is anything that produces withdrawal symptoms. It does not need to be something that is bad or horrible. It is- it's just... what?
 '''Chris:''': Hmm... I see.
 '''Kacey''': That- That's simple psychology Chris. That's something you should know.
 '''Chris:''': Actually, I did not know that. I'm quite- I'm serious when I say that. I did not know that.
 '''Kacey''': I can't believe you didn't even take most- you know, simple prereqs in college.
 '''Chris:''': Um... pre-REPS?
 '''Kacey''': Prerequisites? Chris! How do you not know about college stuff, but you have a degree?
 '''Chris:''': Uhh, if I took prerequisites- if I took prerequisites that was in... years ago back in 2000. And it's not like I can remember a small detail like that. I mean, it's-
 '''Kacey''': [freaking out] That's not a small detail! Tha- that's college! What?!
 '''Chris:''': Well, my parents did not make a big deal about it when they helped me get into college.
 '''Kacey''': It doesn't matter- No no no no! Prereqs are not... it- they are not through your parents. They're through the college, just... I mean I... can't buy that you got a serious degree without having to do serious prereqs like that. What did you say you... I- I don't know. Whatever!
 '''Chris:''': I think you mean Comput- I think you're looking for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. Or CADD.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, how many years is the degree?
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] It was a [[CADD|four-year degree]], but I ended up earning-
 '''Kacey''': How did you get a four-year degree without any prereqs like that? How?!
 '''Chris:''': I sure I- I'm sure I probably took prerequisites, but I did not realize that that's what they were called... I did not know that- that they were called that word-
 '''Kacey''': You- You had nothing to do with any of your schooling beside showing up, did you?
 '''Chris:''': Showing up and doing my [[Love_Quest#Conflict_with_Mary_Lee_Walsh|hard]] [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Mary_Lee_Walsh_in_Sonichu|work]]!
 '''Kacey''': Hard work?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I- I did my work to the fullest of my energy. Every single- every single screenshot from the uh... gettin' in front of the computer, working towards- working on the projects for Computer-Aided Drafting and Design on the- and all that. Even then, when I fully designed the [[CWCville shopping mall]]. Both stories, all the stores, and the mayor's office. One step at a time. Every single click, every single detail. It's all... burned in my photographic memory
 '''Kacey''': Okay, then why can't you put that energy into getting a job or getting a better degree? Haven't you ever thought of getting your masters? Or anything like that? I mean- I mean, do you even remember anything from school? Besides that mall?
 '''Chris:''': I remember a lot of things from school.
 '''Kacey''': Like what?
 '''Chris:''': [really long pause] Yeah, I do remember that I had to- er- I had to take the certain amount of classes. I had to take a physical education class and art classes.
 '''Kacey''': You had to take a physical education class in college?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I took two actually. Tennis and ice skating.
 '''Kacey''': [surprised] Okay?
 '''Chris:''': I think I told you about the ice skating. That- that was- that [indecipherable]
 '''Kacey''': I- I heard- you told me you went ice skating. But I didn't know that was a college course. I mean, I'm sorry. I am not paying college money to go fucking ice skating! I'm sorry.
 '''Chris:''': I mean, that's the first time I ever learned to skate, of any sort. Even though I tried roller skating on my s- on my own one time, I just end up- I just kept falling. I didn't get much done out of that. But-
 '''Kacey''': Yeah- it- it takes balance.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, and differently-
 '''Kacey''': Yeah, it's really really really hard to fall on something with four wheels.
 '''Chris:''': Really really hard to fall on something with four wheels?
 '''Kacey''': Yeah, roller skating's like, way easier than ice skating or rollerblading.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, unfort- yeah, I rephrase that. I mean, uh- I did not have roller skates. I had roller blades.
 '''Kacey''': Roller skating and rollerblading are two totally different things. You know that, right?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, well I mean. When I want to learn how to roller skate, I just thought, you know, they have- cause they have- they're- they got the wheels on the bottom.
 '''Kacey''': [migraine sigh] Okay...
 '''Chris:''': [interjecting more] But that was so many years ago.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, do you remember anything substantial from school. Besides you made a mall and... you made a mall.
 '''Chris:''': I remember... taking my accounting classes for the first major I picked out. Even though I was confused, and lost, when I was- when I picked it out. And can't say any more cause I told her about that fresh from my memory. I talked with her earlier tonight.
 '''Kacey''': Why don't you go back into accounting? It's really not that bad of a job. It's not like you'd be getting a degree in philosophy or something.
 '''Chris:''': I don't even remember- I- I don't even remember if it really was an accounting degree, I think it was something else. Something like marketing or something. But then, years later, my father and I talk to my- talked to my couns- talked to my counselor- my guidance counselor. Eh, yeah. 2002, something like that. Anyway, turns out there were not as many jobs that that degree could get me, and uh, then there were more jobs available for Computer Aided Drafting and Design, so my father encouraged me to switch over because-
 '''Kacey''': Well obviously that's done you a lot of good. Cause you're not getting those jobs. You can't even find them. You can't even google them.
 '''Chris:''': Because I was- Because I'm very avid with computers that's why- and then I made the switch, and I just did, I agree with that-
 '''Kacey''': Apparently you're not very adept at computers if you can't even google something.
 '''Chris:''': I can google things!
 '''Kacey''': Then why don't you do it?
 '''Chris:''': I'm going to google the financial aid. And look for the S-A-F-S-A, F-A-S-A...
 '''Kacey''': The FAFSA. That's-
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I remembered that! And I'm going to do it.
 '''Kacey''': [pause then sigh]
 '''Chris:''': Anyway, yeah. Anyway yeah, switch- it was a major switch, but yeah, at least the credits are transferable. And also I do remember something from my accounting class. You know, the first in first out method-
 '''Kacey''': You do know that if you already used credits towards a degree they don't count, right? Like, you're gonna to have to start over.
 '''Chris:''': Wait, what?
 '''Kacey''': You can't transfer them. They've already gone towards a degree. Chris, seriously!
 '''Chris:''': This is like- this is like years ago. And those credits did transfer from my [unintelligible] major to my next major.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupting] Ok ok ok ok. Chris, Chris. How long have you been out of school?
 '''Chris:''': I would say over three years now.
 '''Kacey''': Then most of your stuff isn't gonna mean crap anyway. The classes expire. They will make you take them over. That's a problem I'm going through right now. You're probably not gonna be able to transfer anything. You're gonna have to start over.
 '''Chris:''': [sighs] But I've already got the degree and the certificate.
 '''Kacey''': Doesn't matter, then that's over! E-e- I mean, some things are just not transferable. I- I can't believe that you do not know how this works.
 '''Chris:''': [pause] Yeah, I was pretty much there to learn what was going on during the time and... yeah, my father did most of the bra- most of the brain- most of the brainwork there. I was just mostly- um- I was- I mean- it- in 2000-
 '''Kacey''': So what? You're gonna let them do that for the rest of your life? You need to know things. You need to be informed. [Chris sighs] I-I- It's up to your brainwork. I- It's- You might as well have never gone to college. Look at you!
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, but at least I went to college and I earned a degree.
 '''Kacey''': It doesn't matter! No, no! Ok, I think people who go to college and waste their degree and waste their potential are way worse than people who never went to college and have hard work, and they have jobs, and they pay on their own. You can not act like you're better than people just because you went to college and did some crappy degree. I mean you- No, no! Even when I was working and not in college, I was still doing way more than you were!
 '''Chris:''': You know, there are a lot of people who actually have earned their degrees, and get their [interrupted] other things as well.
 '''Kacey''': [interrupts] And you're not one of them, it doesn't matter! You're not even using it, you might as well not have it. What's the point of having it if you're not gonna use it.
 '''Chris:''': I will be using it.
 '''Kacey''': Now you're not. Y- You won't even figure out how to- Chris, you- Ugh! Your resume is full of Sonichu and Rosechu! It has- you haven't even mentioned your degree!
 '''Chris:''': I did, under the educational references.
 '''Kacey''': What does that have to do with anything. You need to have priorities. Your CADD degree has nothing to do with Sonichu and Rosechu.
 '''Chris:''': It allowed me to design the buildings and fro- get a better scale- and better- and get a better perspective.
 '''Kacey''': You do not need a CADD degree to be a comic artist! It- it- it is worthless. You are wasting your degree. You are pissing on it. You might as well wipe your ass with it!
 '''Chris:''': That was uncalled for.
 '''Kacey''': That is NOT uncalled for. You are wasting it. This makes me so angry! You don't know- I am so big into education and knowledge and all this stuff, and you have so many resources, things that I will kill for. And I mean... doing your art on paper is different than drawing on a computer. You're not using a tablet or anything like that to make Rosechu and Sonichu, and even then, even the buildings, that's not even CADD work. I-I- I don't know what to say, I'm just so angry!
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] I don't know what to say either. I'm speechless.
 '''Kacey''': That's the problem!
 '''Chris:''': [pause] Yeah, I don't know a lot of things, that's the problem.
 '''Kacey''': I mean, if you wanna be a comic artist, get an art degree. Go to art school. There are art institutes everywhere.
 '''Chris:''': [sigh] Yeah, I guess so (on the priority?)
 '''Kacey''': If you think you're as good as you think you are, you- they will accept you right away. Make a portfolio for art school. Take online classes. Why don't you at least google portfolios for art schooling, and you're gonna have to have more than Sonichu and Rosechu in there. They're gonna want some still lifes and real lifes too. But if you [Chris tries to interrupt]-okay, if you want to go the Sonichu and Rosechu route, you're gonna have to make this. You're gonna have to do that.
 '''Chris:''': [sighs very quietly] Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': [Also sighs] I mean... I just don't know. I mean, people just aren't gonna do this stuff for you. And if they do, they shouldn't, because they're- they're only hurting you. You have to stand on your own two feet.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... and you said financial aid can help me get housing and uh,
 '''Kacey''': Nonono! Financial aid helps pay for your schooling. But the government, since you are on disability, will help you with housing. They'll help you with school payments. I mean, you can get so much, because they want people like you to help themselves, so you can get off that tugboat. That's the whole point. They are going to put more effort into you, so that you will stop [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|sucking on]]- you know, sucking up their money. And you will be a productive member of society. That's their goal. The-this whole program is supposed to help push you, not for you to live off of your whole life.
 '''Chris:''': I understand... I understand that. And yet I still- (spent time) at the Social Security office, into and addition to uh- in addition to the job thing. And I appreciate you doing your research for me. And I- I've kept that in my memory as well.
 '''Kacey''': Well, I hope you actually use it. Maybe I'll e-mail you the web sites.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': If you have any questions, you call the number that's on there. Or you can even ask me, but I'm not gonna do the whole thing for you. You have to do this. Kim's not gonna do this for you either.
 '''Chris:''': I understand.
 '''Kacey''': I mean, and especially with this trial work period. Let's say that they allow you to make as much as your monthly payments. That would be like, what $1,600 a month. You could put 800 of that away and you- you know, it's extra. You could- I mean, you- you have so much, and it pisses me off because I wish I could take it and be like, "You know what? I know how to use this, and I will." You know, give it to someone more deserving.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, I wish I had your knowledge.
 '''Kacey''': I had to fight for this knowledge. Nobody helped me. That's why I'm doing this so late. You're gonna have to do it too, before it's too late. I mean, I earned my knowledge.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... I'm gonna do it too- I'm going- I'm going to earn my knowledge. And-
 '''Kacey''': You can't have these stress days. You can't have these mental rest days. You're- You're going to have to work hard at it hard; every day, every second of your life.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah... I get it.
 '''Kacey''': I hope you do, I really do. Because I don't want to see one of my friends fall so f- hard.
 '''Chris:''': I understand. I appreciate your concern.
 '''Kacey''': Okay. [pause] I hope I've given you a lot to think about, but I'm gonna go ahead and go. Cause I have to work and- you know, and I have homework and stuff. I'll try to call you tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''': Okay. I understand if you won't be able to. But you know-
 '''Kacey''': I'll- I'll e-mail you at least. Okay?
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, all right.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, I'll let you know if I can or not.
 '''Chris:''': And I'll- I'll google the financial aid.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, good, good. Now remember it's not- it's nothing wrong for asking for little help, but don't let people do everything for you.
 '''Chris:''': Yeah.
 '''Kacey''': Okay, all right, bye.
 '''Chris:''': All right, stay safe. Bye [hangs up]

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 4]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 6]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 1

2014-05-23T02:08:45Z

Export A:

{{quote|Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep [[Chris and sex|bangin']] your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my [[comeuppance]]!... And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna [[Homos|lick it]] off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!|Chris, not being creepy or fucked-up whatsoever}}

In [[August 2009]], Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) called [[Kacey]], as he attempted to pretend to be the [[CChanSonichuCWC|REAL CWC]] to get with Kacey. Hilarity and fail ensued.

Most of the call, Chris forgets he's pretending to be Liquid, but Kacey manages to play along.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|M0nDyBBgsRo}}
| Stardate = August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Kacey Call 1.5]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey honey! Oh my god, it's so good to hear your voice again; it's me, Kacey! How are you?
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kayce! I'm good. You sound like it's goin' good. ''[Kacey overlaps: Ah, I love when you call me that!]''
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm so happy cuz I got to talk to you! I missed you all day today. It sucked being in school. I can't believe it's almost finals.
 '''Chris:''' Aww, yeah, I know, summer finals, right?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I don't know why I did summer session, it's just... I don't know. You know that I'm really, ''really'' into intelligent guys; which is why I love you. And I've, you know, gotta do the same. So how's school for you? ''[Chris overlaps: Aaahhh...]''
 '''Chris:''' Oh, things have been great for me, you know, I just finished the [[Sonichu 9|dating episode]]; it is ''fantastic''.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well that's cool, but what does that have to do with school?
 '''Chris:''' ...Uh, you know, the [[comic]]s, so I just... I felt like finishing it up, so I finished it...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, I get what you're saying! Oh, that is so cool!
 '''Chris:''' The dating education episode. It's on the [[CWCipedia]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's awesome. I'm gonna have to check it out, because, you know, that is of course what led me to you in the first place. ''[Chris overlaps: Oh, yeah.]'' But, um, what about actual school? 'Cuz I know you had classes today too!
 '''Chris:''' Ohhh, yeah... Oh, yeah, they were very tough on me, but, I felt like I take a break, finish up my comic work, and get that outta the way, y'know?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I get what you're saying; you're gonna do everything tomorrow, well, that... that's so cool of you, I mean, at least you're being serious about it, but you're not being ''too'' serious. So, um, when are your finals? Are they next week, too?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah, only got... I only got one to go, y'know? One more test to go, and then I'm done.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh god, you're so lucky, cuz my finals, like, they don't even start 'til next week, so... Which one's your last one again? I can't remember, I'm ''[laughs]'' sorry.
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, what was that question? I didn't quite understand it.
 '''Kacey:''' Sorry. ''[laughs]'' You know I talk fast 'cuz I'm so excited to be talking to you. Um, so-
 '''Chris:''' It's all right.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' So which one's your last final? I totally forgot.
 '''Chris:''' Which one's my last, uh, fina- my last final?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, is it the same one, you know, that same class we have together?
 '''Chris:''' Aaahhh... No, it's not, no, it's not that one... Uuhhh... I'm trying to think of the name. I'm trying to think of it... Um... Oh, yeah, it's the one where I'm doing, uh... It's the one where, uh... working with, uh, I think it's... I think I'm working in Photoshop, something like that, with the... ahh, so much going on in my head right now...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, oh, it's your... databasing and, uh, computer graphics class!
 '''Chris:''' Yes! My computer graphics class. Yes, that's it.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. God, and, I've seen some of your work since you sent it to me, and lemme just tell you, you are ''so'' frickin' amazing, like, I cannot ''wait'' to see you this weekend.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got [[Wikipedia:MapQuest|MapQuest]] to come all the way over?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I've got a GPS system, you know that, sweetie!
 ''[Chris and Kacey both stammer a bit]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[high-pitched]'' Oh, that's right, you told me about the GPS! I totally forgot!
 '''Kacey:''' I got it for my birthday this year, remember? So, um... yeah, I've already got it plugged in, and... it's gonna be so much fun, so... do you remember our last time together, you know, our, uh, our third date? ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Ah, date number three... mmm... oh, I've been so busy with, uh, with studying for the finals. It's just that so much of the details are plaguing my mind at the moment!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I know. But it was so magical. I have never, ever been with someone so sensual, and just so in tune to me. I can NOT wait to see you again. So maybe you can give me a sneak preview of what you're going to do the next time I see you?
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna rock your world, baby.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[laughing]'' Oh, Chris, you are so hot. God, I don't know how you do it. So stop teasing me, you've gotta give me more.
 '''Chris:''' It- It just comes natural to me, I guess. I got a deep sensual voice, you know. I definitely got the [[Wikipedia:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] tune, baby, you know I been raised on [[music]]! My dad was a technical engineer! Got all them patents and everything!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, Chris! I love it when you talk like that! God, so, you know when [[SingStar Challenge Round 2|you sang Fresh Prince]] today, you know I looove that. Oh my God, like you know that white boy rap? Oh my God. You were amazing, almost as amazing as last time I saw you.
 '''Chris:''' Aw yeah, before that, yeah. Y'know I'm into hippin'- I'm hippin' to soo many hippin' tunes right now. But you know, I like to just... uh, sometimes I like to look back, at my favorite hits and just uh, listen to them you know? Ah, you know I definitely did like [[Sonic]] Boom and Don't Say You Love Me, too bad- ah, too bad I got beaten to the punch on those. Uh yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' God, I know, I was so hoping you would do something like that. I mean, maybe you could do [[Wikipedia:N'Sync|N'Sync]] next? I love [[Wikipedia:Tearin' Up My Heart|"Tearin' Up My Heart"]]. Could you do that one for me?
 '''Chris:''' I got bears- you know what? - I got bears- I got a better song I'm planning on next one. Uh, here's a little preview. Hang on.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome. AWESOME. Thank you! ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Hang on. Hang on. Hush-hush-hush!
 '''Kacey:''' Aww.
 '''Chris:''' ''[shouts]'' YOU GOT THE TOUCH. YOU GOT THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER, YEAH!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh Chris. Your voice... well, you know what it does to me. It gets me so hot.
 '''Chris:''' Ohhhh yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So tell me how much you like when I get hot.
 '''Chris:''' Oohhhh, I'm lovin' it.
 '''Kacey:''' What are you gonna do to me Chris? I mean, love songs are wonderful, I know you've got lots of ideas in your head.
 '''Chris:''' It'll be like the first time all over again, girl. You know I enjoyed the first time.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, just the way you looked at me-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupting]'' I'd like ta, I'd like ta, I'm definitely gonna try to repeat the encore, repeat as best as I can, you know. You know, to the best of my memory, even though I been messin' up stuff for the finals and whatevurrr, so...
 '''Kacey:''' So did you remember what I wanted you to do next time?
 '''Chris:''' Aww... shoot.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, how could you forget!
 '''Chris:''' Oh, you know... lemme take a guess, lemme take a guess! Uh, you want me to caress your breasts?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that's one of them, but I wanted to do something a little more adventurous! I can't believe you forgot, you seemed so excited!
 '''Chris:''' ''[in a high-pitched whine]'' OH YEAH I'M SO EXCITED! I just can't hide it.
 '''Kacey:''' I guess I'll forgive you this time, but I totally, absolutely wanted you to tie me up and let me be at your mercy. I mean doesn't that sound awesome?
 '''Chris:''' AWW YEAH THAT DOES SOUND FUCKIN' AWESOME.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok well since I told you that you have to tell me what you're gonna do to me because come on, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.
 '''Chris:''' Aww, talk dirty to me! Duh-duh.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, please do.
 '''Chris:''' Mmmmmmm... oh yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Do it for me, your sweet little Kacey-kase.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. I gonna... you just gonna love this. You uh, I'll be showin', I'll be presentin' myself to you, you'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and all that you know, and you just, I'll be puttin' it, between your tits while you're all TIED UUUP!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God that sounds so good! Like, I'm like crying because it sounds so wonderful! Keep telling me more!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm just going to get that girl...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm actually starting to touch my tits right now, so keep telling me more. Keep telling me more.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I can't wait to lick it off. I'm gonna be so, so hot. This is the Chris I know and love. Thank you!
 '''Chris:''' And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue-sharing MOMENT!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, you know I love shotgunning like that. God Chris, you're even a little spicier than last time. What's gotten into you?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sings]'' VANILLA HOT HOT SPICY BABY.
 '''Kacey:''' So Chris... um, so what are you doing right now, y'know, are you uh, doing the same thing?
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, you know... yeah, I'm just I'm... yeah, I'm getting turned on. I'm just rubbing myself thinking about it!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, Chris! It's gonna be so much better when I'm really there, though. I can't wait to see you, I can't believe I'm actually going to go to your house, and be with you and it's gonna be awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. You know it, girl. You know it so well.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean, I just can't help getting hot thinking again about all your music videos, just... oh my gosh, I remember so much better than I poss-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupting to mangle REO Speedwagon while Kacey giggles]'' You can't fight that feeling anymore... I've forgotten what I started fighting for... it's just so much listen to the shore... and I can't fight this feeling anymore.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, you know I hate to spoil the mood, but I mean you're just so much better than that brown-shirted... or that shirted impostor. I mean, I love your brown shirts way more.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' Sorry, I'm getting so confused right now, because I'm just so hot right now. I'm so glad you-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupting]'' Yeah, but you know I actually do have a red, white and blue-striped shirt ''in'' my closet.
 '''Kacey:''' You do? Why don't you wear it then? I mean, I guess that would make you too much like the impostor.
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, because you know... just been trying to separate myself from the impostor I guess, I mean red, white and blue, you know, was my original roots, I mean look at back in the early pages of my books! Red, white and blue all the way, girl!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[sighs]'' Well...
 '''Chris:''' ''[plows on]'' I just had to separate myself from the impostor somehow. And you know how I rapped the [[PaRappa contest]]? I wore an orange shirt then, girl.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I guess... okay, well I mean, just that impostor, I know he's really, really, really getting to you.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, he's been getting to me. Giving me... wracking at my NERVES! ''[tard rage]'' Just really turning me... urgh! Making me so angry!
 '''Kacey:''' God I know, he pisses me off too. I can't believe he's trying to be you when you're just so much sexier, hotter... ''[Chris overlapping: Yeah, yeah]'' I mean, his voice doesn't even sound like yours!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I mean, can you believe him? I mean he just looks so... aw shoot, what's the word I'm trying think of... oh yeah, he looks so soph-moric!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, he does, I, I guess, I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean the impostor looks like he's got to be about 13 or 15, does not have the diploma or the degrees, OR the certificate I had from the waterboy on the varsity basketball team during my freshman year!
 '''Kacey:''' Right, um... what are you talking about?
 '''Chris:''' Aw, I'm just on a roll here, you know. I'm just trying- I'm just trying to- I've been-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' I mean, 'cause-
 '''Chris:''' One five minute note or you know... ah, he's telling me history or like um... I got my truths, you know. He's just bringing me all the counter-evidence and I've got to fight back with the real deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh oh, you mean when he was trying to duel you in [[Spanish]] and he showed that fake certificate with a fake [[Sonichu]] picture. Oh oh, okay, I get it, 'cause you were confusing me for a minute there, at first I thought that you were suggesting that you were the fat impostor, and you know, I was getting worried for a minute there.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, you... well, I don't know about this and that but I tell you what... you are definitely talking to the real deal, baby. You know I'm going to ROCK YOUR WORLD.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[sighs]'' Yeah, you totally, totally are. I mean, like you said, next time we're going to try the strap-ons, and I can't wait for that!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Let's do it after this, after this, after this one time, the first time this weekend, y'know... yeah, tie me down...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Oh right, like start out slow like that and... oh yeah, I get it, y'know... do you dominant first, then me dominant... I gotcha! ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I know you said you couldn't wait... but I could do it for you Chris, definitely do it for you.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. ''[voice gets high pitched]'' OH YEAH!
 '''Kacey:''' You know baby, I might skip school tomorrow and head down tomorrow, how does that sound?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Tomorrow... hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, finals are until next week, I can skip this week if you want me to spend the whole week with you, get a little good-luck lovin', you know?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Oh yeah, that sounds good, that sounds... yeah, that sounds very good. Mmm. So what time do you think you could be at my place?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, let's see, you're only an hour and a half away, so six p.m. maybe?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. six p.m... mmm. Yeah, that sounds do-able. Six p.m.!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Do-able, just like me, right?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sings]'' DO-ABLE BABY!
 '''Kacey:''' Can you cook me something for dinner, something delicious?
 '''Chris:''' Uuurgh
 '''Kacey:''' And maybe afterwards a [[guitar]] serenade? You know, cause your songs put me in the mood. That's all I want, I want a delicious dinner and a guitar serenade where you sing, you know that last song you sung me just like last time, can you please repeat it for me? Can you at least sing a little bit right now?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Hmmm, hang on a minute let me a minute, let me reflect in my memory here. My well audiograped memory my father entrusted me with well by teaching me so much music.
 '''Kacey:''' Of course! ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. ''[sings]'' YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! IT'S TRUE!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''No, no, not the one you sang for the impostor, the one you sang for me on our last date.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, it's easy to get confused.
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]''Yeah, I'm kind of a little bit confused myself, it's been a long day.
 '''Kacey:''' Aw, I know, I know. I mean, you're doing so well since, you know, considering what you're majoring in and everything.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah! Computer Aided Drafting and Design!
 '''Kacey:''' Did you change your major? What?
 '''Chris:''' No, that's BEEN my major.
 ''[long pause]''
 '''Kacey:''' ...Okay.
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' That's my major, Computer Aided Drafting and Design.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh... that's, uh, weird. But anyway, what are you gonna cook for me? You know, for the date?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Hm, I could definitely whip up a, uh, pretty good stew for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Oooh, a stew, what type of stew?
 '''Chris:''' Oh you know, with the tomatoes and the vegetables and the whatnot.
 '''Kacey:''' You know, I thought you were a little more ambitious than that. I mean, stew sounds good still, but isn't that better maybe for a winter getaway?
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' How about you make my favorite? I told you about my favorite the other day, can you make it?
 '''Chris:''' ''[mumbling]'' Umm...your favorite..uhh...your favorite, your favorite. Uhh. Boy I wore myself out getting excited and I can't even remember too clearly.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' That was my fault, I'm so sorry! But you know, talking to you, just makes me want to, you know. ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' YEAH.
 '''Kacey:''' But it's just chicken risotto, so will you be able to do that for me?
 '''Chris:''' Risotto's...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, maybe make a little video of you making it for me so that, uh, I can see how much love and awesomeness you're putting into it.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh...I don't know if, I don't know if I mean, to make it, to have a video up in the amount of time before you get here, but I would definitely cook you a risotto.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, awesome. So anyway, I like what you said to that impostor about him not having a [[sweetheart]], because I mean, if he had a sweetheart he really would, you know, make her a judge, don't you think? Because if you didn't make me a judge I would have been so pissed off. So I mean, what do you think about that?
 '''Chris:''' Uhh... I'm sorry, you got me confused there, could you start from the beginning and go slow please?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Oh, sorry, sorry, I just got so excited talking to you. ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' It's okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, you know how you told the impostor? The impostor doesn't have a heartsweet on his judge's panel. Do you think that's because he doesn't have one?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... oh yeah, that's, that's very likely but you know, I did realize that I apparently did take observation and notice, that actually one of them is a uh, is a real-life close gal-pal by the name of, uh, I think [[Kim Wilson]]?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, he's-you think he has a girlfriend named Kim Wilson? How do you know that? You are so awesome!
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I know I'm awesome. ''[laughs]'' Yeah but yeah no, I've just been hearing news talk between, you know, here and there and the [[fanbase]], yadda yadda yadda. No, but they're just basically, they're just friends. Besides, I heard that Kim has been together with this tough dude named, uh, Logan, and they have two German shepherds.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I love German shepherds, but, um-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' ARF!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' But, um, would that mean that you still like her, though? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh no no no no...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Er, HE likes her?
 ''[Pause]''
 '''Chris:''' Uh, uh no no no. No, they've always been friends. I mean, you know, he had to know why though because she was already taken, in order to establish like guys do, to actually be with her or not, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know, the impostor's never gonna get anyone anyway, he's not as awesome as you. You know, I just fell for you right off the bat. I mean, he's just such a fatty and you're thin and you're hot, and your medallion is so much better.
 '''Chris:''' ...Oh yes. Nothing like the real deal.
 '''Kacey:''' And your flowing locks, I mean, come on. What's with that [[hair]]cut?
 '''Chris:''' Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his mom probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' You're gonna get your mom to cut your hair? Oh Chris, oh you, I get it, you're joking. You're so funny.
 '''Chris:''' Oh...I might be, but then again I might be serious, you never know.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you are full of surprises.
 '''Chris:''' ''[shouting]'' I AM FULL OF SURPRISES! ''[pause]'' I am full of surprises, woman, you know me. I am full of surprises.
 '''Kacey:''' I know you, I definitely, definitely know you. So tell me about some of these surprises. Spoil me, please.
 '''Chris:''' ''[laughs]'' Ahh, okay. Hmm, surprises surprises..yes...well, you'll have to see my [[house]], it'll definitely look so much familiar to you...if you look anywhere on the internet you'll recognize my house.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my god, it's just gonna say you. It's just gonna say "[[Christian Weston Chandler]]", right?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' You know, figuratively?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, the house pretty much screams Christian Weston Chandler. You know my [[car]] has a license plate that says "SONICHU" on it.
 '''Kacey:''' Does it? Wow, that's so funny because the impostor has one just like that! You would think they wouldn't let two tags be the same.
 '''Chris:''' ''[high-pitched]'' Yeah, I know!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my god, that has got to be, like, the worst coincidence ever. I can't believe he did that to you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know! Yeah, you know, one thing I'm definitely going to share with you after you get here? My original hand-drawn pages. You're just gonna enjoy seeing them, the original hand-drawn, unaltered, from the computer, you will definitely see the hand-drawn resemblance.
 '''Kacey:''' Well yeah I've seen them before. But I can't wait to see...I guess you know, new ones and stuff? So um, really quick, did you get my picture that I sent you?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I saw it. NICE.
 '''Kacey:''' Nice? Okay. What did you think about the color shirt I was wearing?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah... RED. The only thing that's missing is white and blue! Other than that, our shirts are patriotic. WE LOVE AMERICA! Proud to be an American. And I was born in Washington Jefferson Hospital, which is in [[Charlottesville]]...
 '''Kacey:''' So, does that picture make you horny? How horny does it make you?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Turns me on.
 '''Kacey:''' How bad?
 '''Chris:''' Real bad.
 '''Kacey:''' Real bad? Like last time?
 '''Chris:''' Ohhh yes.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Like so many times in my past before, even before I met you, but there was nothing, you know, I watched my own share of pornography in my lifetime, but that's just me growing up, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' I was curious, I had to know!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' That's so cute! So what are you doing now?
 '''Chris:''' I'm talking to you, and enjoying this nice conversation.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh Chris, you're so awesome! So um, you remember the last time we were talking and we were talking about, you know, socialism and health care? You know, you never finished your opinion on that. Could you go ahead and expand?
 '''Chris:''' Um, socialism and health care. Umm...yeah, I definitely feel that, uh, health care would be good for, you know, the elderly and the disabled people and, uh, socialism, uh...I don't have all the details on socialism really. I might be leaving a few out in my head to make a final opinion.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, socialism just means, you know... [[Obama]]'s plan on healthcare. We were talking about this for hours!
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I'm just spacing out right now, haha. Ahh... but yeah, Obama's plan on health care. Well you know, I mean, he's, uh yeah, he's trying but yeah he's just not trying hard enough. Hang on, I gotta switch my arm, my right arm's getting tired out on me. You know how it is...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, is it because you're uhh, you're uhh, you know...touching yourself?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, my right arm was holding the phone and I used my left hand to touch myself-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' ''[giggles]'' Ooh, that's a little spicy!
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know, you're holding the phone over to your ear and your arm just hurts after a while you've held it there.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' ...Right...So, um...
 '''Chris:''' Oh actually you know, I just remembered, I wanted to recommend to you some more viewing notes from youtube, I want you to look at the videos on the account CCHAN6789.
 '''Kacey:''' What was that? CCHAN6789?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they were all from me. That's an old account, I pretty much just ended the deal with it, past time.
 '''Kacey:''' W-what's it again?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...It's C-C-H-A-N-6-7-8-9. Yeah, all me there. The real me.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. What? Oh, I'll have to check it later when I'm near a computer. That's cool, that's cool.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. So you know uh, Kim, you know uh, how she, uh, yeah you know, uh, Kim, I actually heard that Kim and her friend Logan actually live in the Charlton area close to the downtown mall, you know? So if you ever wanted to look her up and, you know, just talk to her, you know, find about more about the impostor for me, or you know, see what her opinion of me is on the Internet from her point of view...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, you want me to do some undercover stuff? Chris, that is so sweet of you! You know how much I wanted to get involved.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, sure. You know that ScarletSanctum account? That's hers.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, no, I will totally, totally message her. It's Kim Woods, you said?
 '''Chris:''' No, Kim Wilson. Totally. Message her, talk to her all about me.
 '''Kacey:''' I totally will. That is-yeah. I gotcha.
 '''Chris:''' Oh actually, yeah. I'm looking through my uh, e-mails...oof. My arm's cracking up on me again, you know from holding the phone-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' You know, that's so weird, because you know, you work out all the time, Chris, so you would think a phone wouldn't be, you know, so heavy for you-
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Yeah, uh yeah, it's like light, but it's like, holding my arm in the same position for an extended period of time, it just bothers me.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. So, um, you told me that you had some new Sonichu merchandise coming out, so can you tell me about those? ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Uhh...oh yeah. I definitely got Poké Balls-I definitely got a [[Sonichu Ball]] replica in the works.
 ''[long pause]''
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's awesome. How much are you gonna sell them for? Cause I know you made so much money...
 '''Chris:''' Eh, they'll probably go for like five, ten bucks. You know, I wanna get it out there.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, oh okay. You want it to start out like that. Okay, got it.
 '''Chris:''' Actually you know, I think I am, oh yeah. As I was trying to say earlier but then my arm cramped up on me, I was checking my e-mail and uh, actually I have Kim Wilson's e-mail address, I could share that to you, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh please do, that would be awesome! I will put it in my address book right away.
 '''Chris:''' All right, I'll spell it out for you. It's S-C-A-R-L-E-T-M-A-R-I-E-S-A-N-C-T-U-A-R-Y at gmail dot com.
 '''Kacey:''' So it's scarletmariesanctuary@gmail.com?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, but yeah. Okay but anyway listen, don't uh, let her, don't uh spread this around to anybody, I'm trusting you. Keep it just between you and me. Just between you and me.
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, definitely, I won't tell anyone. Just between you and me, Chris, just like, you know, our sexy secrets.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yes. Anyway, I gotta go, you know, I'm just tired out right now...
 '''Kacey:''' Aww, I don't want you to go, though.
 '''Chris:''' Oh I know, I wanna talk to you some more too, but, like, ''[high-pitched]'' you know, I need my rest girl, I gotta see you tomorrow at six and make your, uh, your, uh... your... rigatoni?
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Risotto, risotto, sweetie, risotto.
 '''Chris:''' RISOTTO!''[super high-pitched]'' RISOTTO, RISOTTO!
 '''Kacey:''' But still, can you make me a special video, please please? I'm not gonna be there till six so please make me a video!
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' It doesn't have to be cooking, just make me a video about how much you love me, please. You know, I'm feeling so lonely because this impostor, he's taking up a lot of your time, so please?
 '''Chris:''' All right, sweetheart, I'll make you a video saying how much I love you...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh my god, thank you!
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't be surprised if it ends up on, uh, a different account, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' I know. Oh, you're gonna keep it between us! I got it, I got it. That's awesome. Just e-mail it to me and I will look at it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I will e-mail it to you and let you look at it. Yes, I'll e-mail you the link.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome, please, PLEASE e-mail me the link.
 '''Chris:''' All RIGHT, we've got a game plan!
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Singing over her]'' YEAH, I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING!
 '''Kacey:''' Be as sexy and awesome like you always are, okay, please?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yes, sexy and awesome. You got it, girl. You got it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then I guess I'll let you go to sleep and, umm...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you have pleasant dreams tonight, sweetheart.
 '''Kacey:''' I will as long as you're in them.
 '''Chris:''' Bye. ''[Kissing noises]''
 '''Kacey:''' I love you, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' I love you too. Love talking to you.
 '''Kacey:''' I love talking to you too...I love doing more with you, but that will have to wait till tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' ''[weirdly high-pitched]'' Yeah, wait till tomorrow when you get here!
 '''Kacey:''' So...I'll be in your dreams, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll be in my dreams and I'll be in yours, ''[sings]'' I'll be in yours...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Tries to interrupt]'' All right, th-
 '''Chris:''' I NEVER PROMISED YOU A HAPPY ENDING! I'm just trying to take a crack at his song now. The one that he could have stolen from me because, you know, I love [[Britney Spears]] as well.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I haven't seen that one yet, is it up?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yes, [[Duck|it's up]]. ''[sings over her again]''
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Okay, Chris, well...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm tired, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Kacey:''' I'll call you tomorrow before I come, okay? All right, love you, bye!

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=First|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 1.5]]}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBa2RyS3ZUYnJZNEU mp3 of phonecall]
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 1

2014-05-23T02:08:17Z

Export A:

{{quote|Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep [[Chris and sex|bangin']] your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my [[comeuppance]]!... And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna [[Homos|lick it]] off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!|Chris, not being creepy or fucked-up whatsoever}}

In [[August 2009]], Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) called [[Kacey]], as he attempted to pretend to be the [[CChanSonichuCWC|REAL CWC]] to get with Kacey. Hilarity and fail ensued.

Most of the call, Chris forgets he's pretending to be Liquid, but Kacey manages to play along.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|M0nDyBBgsRo}}
| Stardate = August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Kacey Call 1.5]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey honey! Oh my god, it's so good to hear your voice again; it's me, Kacey! How are you?
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kayce! I'm good. You sound like it's goin' good. ''[Kacey overlaps: Ah, I love when you call me that!]''
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I'm so happy cuz I got to talk to you! I missed you all day today. It sucked being in school. I can't believe it's almost finals.
 '''Chris:''' Aww, yeah, I know, summer finals, right?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I don't know why I did summer session, it's just... I don't know. You know that I'm really, ''really'' into intelligent guys; which is why I love you. And I've, you know, gotta do the same. So how's school for you? ''[Chris overlaps: Aaahhh...]''
 '''Chris:''' Oh, things have been great for me, you know, I just finished the [[Sonichu 9|dating episode]]; it is ''fantastic''.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well that's cool, but what does that have to do with school?
 '''Chris:''' ...Uh, you know, the [[comic]]s, so I just... I felt like finishing it up, so I finished it...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, I get what you're saying! Oh, that is so cool!
 '''Chris:''' The dating education episode. It's on the [[CWCipedia]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's awesome. I'm gonna have to check it out, because, you know, that is of course what led me to you in the first place. ''[Chris overlaps: Oh, yeah.]'' But, um, what about actual school? 'Cuz I know you had classes today too!
 '''Chris:''' Ohhh, yeah... Oh, yeah, they were very tough on me, but, I felt like I take a break, finish up my comic work, and get that outta the way, y'know?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I get what you're saying; you're gonna do everything tomorrow, well, that... that's so cool of you, I mean, at least you're being serious about it, but you're not being ''too'' serious. So, um, when are your finals? Are they next week, too?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah, only got... I only got one to go, y'know? One more test to go, and then I'm done.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh god, you're so lucky, cuz my finals, like, they don't even start 'til next week, so... Which one's your last one again? I can't remember, I'm ''[laughs]'' sorry.
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, what was that question? I didn't quite understand it.
 '''Kacey:''' Sorry. ''[laughs]'' You know I talk fast 'cuz I'm so excited to be talking to you. Um, so-
 '''Chris:''' It's all right.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' So which one's your last final? I totally forgot.
 '''Chris:''' Which one's my last, uh, fina- my last final?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, is it the same one, you know, that same class we have together?
 '''Chris:''' Aaahhh... No, it's not, no, it's not that one... Uuhhh... I'm trying to think of the name. I'm trying to think of it... Um... Oh, yeah, it's the one where I'm doing, uh... It's the one where, uh... working with, uh, I think it's... I think I'm working in Photoshop, something like that, with the... ahh, so much going on in my head right now...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, oh, it's your... databasing and, uh, computer graphics class!
 '''Chris:''' Yes! My computer graphics class. Yes, that's it.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. God, and, I've seen some of your work since you sent it to me, and lemme just tell you, you are ''so'' frickin' amazing, like, I cannot ''wait'' to see you this weekend.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got [[Wikipedia:MapQuest|MapQuest]] to come all the way over?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I've got a GPS system, you know that, sweetie!
 ''[Chris and Kacey both stammer a bit]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[high-pitched]'' Oh, that's right, you told me about the GPS! I totally forgot!
 '''Kacey:''' I got it for my birthday this year, remember? So, um... yeah, I've already got it plugged in, and... it's gonna be so much fun, so... do you remember our last time together, you know, our, uh, our third date? ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Ah, date number three... mmm... oh, I've been so busy with, uh, with studying for the finals. It's just that so much of the details are plaguing my mind at the moment!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I know. But it was so magical. I have never, ever been with someone so sensual, and just so in tune to me. I can NOT wait to see you again. So maybe you can give me a sneak preview of what you're going to do the next time I see you?
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna rock your world, baby.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[laughing]'' Oh, Chris, you are so hot. God, I don't know how you do it. So stop teasing me, you've gotta give me more.
 '''Chris:''' It- It just comes natural to me, I guess. I got a deep sensual voice, you know. I definitely got the [[Wikipedia:Bing Crosby|Bing Crosby]] tune, baby, you know I been raised on [[music]]! My dad was a technical engineer! Got all them patents and everything!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, Chris! I love it when you talk like that! God, so, you know when [[SingStar Challenge Round 2|you sang Fresh Prince]] today, you know I looove that. Oh my God, like you know that white boy rap? Oh my God. You were amazing, almost as amazing as last time I saw you.
 '''Chris:''' Aw yeah, before that, yeah. Y'know I'm into hippin'- I'm hippin' to soo many hippin' tunes right now. But you know, I like to just... uh, sometimes I like to look back, at my favorite hits and just uh, listen to them you know? Ah, you know I definitely did like [[Sonic]] Boom and Don't Say You Love Me, too bad- ah, too bad I got beaten to the punch on those. Uh yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' God, I know, I was so hoping you would do something like that. I mean, maybe you could do [[Wikipedia:N'Sync|N'Sync]] next? I love [[Wikipedia:Tearin' Up My Heart|"Tearin' Up My Heart"]]. Could you do that one for me?
 '''Chris:''' I got bears- you know what? - I got bears- I got a better song I'm planning on next one. Uh, here's a little preview. Hang on.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome. AWESOME. Thank you! ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Hang on. Hang on. Hush-hush-hush!
 '''Kacey:''' Aww.
 '''Chris:''' ''[shouts]'' YOU GOT THE TOUCH. YOU GOT THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER, YEAH!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh Chris. Your voice... well, you know what it does to me. It gets me so hot.
 '''Chris:''' Ohhhh yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So tell me how much you like when I get hot.
 '''Chris:''' Oohhhh, I'm lovin' it.
 '''Kacey:''' What are you gonna do to me Chris? I mean, love songs are wonderful, I know you've got lots of ideas in your head.
 '''Chris:''' It'll be like the first time all over again, girl. You know I enjoyed the first time.
 '''Kacey:''' I know, just the way you looked at me-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupting]'' I'd like ta, I'd like ta, I'm definitely gonna try to repeat the encore, repeat as best as I can, you know. You know, to the best of my memory, even though I been messin' up stuff for the finals and whatevurrr, so...
 '''Kacey:''' So did you remember what I wanted you to do next time?
 '''Chris:''' Aww... shoot.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, how could you forget!
 '''Chris:''' Oh, you know... lemme take a guess, lemme take a guess! Uh, you want me to caress your breasts?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, that's one of them, but I wanted to do something a little more adventurous! I can't believe you forgot, you seemed so excited!
 '''Chris:''' ''[in a high-pitched whine]'' OH YEAH I'M SO EXCITED! I just can't hide it.
 '''Kacey:''' I guess I'll forgive you this time, but I totally, absolutely wanted you to tie me up and let me be at your mercy. I mean doesn't that sound awesome?
 '''Chris:''' AWW YEAH THAT DOES SOUND FUCKIN' AWESOME.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok well since I told you that you have to tell me what you're gonna do to me because come on, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.
 '''Chris:''' Aww, talk dirty to me! Duh-duh.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, please do.
 '''Chris:''' Mmmmmmm... oh yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Do it for me, your sweet little Kacey-kase.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. I gonna... you just gonna love this. You uh, I'll be showin', I'll be presentin' myself to you, you'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and all that you know, and you just, I'll be puttin' it, between your tits while you're all TIED UUUP!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God that sounds so good! Like, I'm like crying because it sounds so wonderful! Keep telling me more!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm just going to get that girl...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm actually starting to touch my tits right now, so keep telling me more. Keep telling me more.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I can't wait to lick it off. I'm gonna be so, so hot. This is the Chris I know and love. Thank you!
 '''Chris:''' And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue-sharing MOMENT!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, you know I love shotgunning like that. God Chris, you're even a little spicier than last time. What's gotten into you?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sings]'' VANILLA HOT HOT SPICY BABY.
 '''Kacey:''' So Chris... um, so what are you doing right now, y'know, are you uh, doing the same thing?
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, you know... yeah, I'm just I'm... yeah, I'm getting turned on. I'm just rubbing myself thinking about it!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my God, Chris! It's gonna be so much better when I'm really there, though. I can't wait to see you, I can't believe I'm actually going to go to your house, and be with you and it's gonna be awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. You know it, girl. You know it so well.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean, I just can't help getting hot thinking again about all your music videos, just... oh my gosh, I remember so much better than I poss-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupting to mangle REO Speedwagon while Kacey giggles]'' You can't fight that feeling anymore... I've forgotten what I started fighting for... it's just so much listen to the shore... and I can't fight this feeling anymore.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, you know I hate to spoil the mood, but I mean you're just so much better than that brown-shirted... or that shirted impostor. I mean, I love your brown shirts way more.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' Sorry, I'm getting so confused right now, because I'm just so hot right now. I'm so glad you-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupting]'' Yeah, but you know I actually do have a red, white and blue-striped shirt ''in'' my closet.
 '''Kacey:''' You do? Why don't you wear it then? I mean, I guess that would make you too much like the impostor.
 '''Chris:''' I don't know, because you know... just been trying to separate myself from the impostor I guess, I mean red, white and blue, you know, was my original roots, I mean look at back in the early pages of my books! Red, white and blue all the way, girl!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[sighs]'' Well...
 '''Chris:''' ''[plows on]'' I just had to separate myself from the impostor somehow. And you know how I rapped the [[PaRappa contest]]? I wore an orange shirt then, girl.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I guess... okay, well I mean, just that impostor, I know he's really, really, really getting to you.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, he's been getting to me. Giving me... wracking at my NERVES! ''[tard rage]'' Just really turning me... urgh! Making me so angry!
 '''Kacey:''' God I know, he pisses me off too. I can't believe he's trying to be you when you're just so much sexier, hotter... ''[Chris overlapping: Yeah, yeah]'' I mean, his voice doesn't even sound like yours!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I mean, can you believe him? I mean he just looks so... aw shoot, what's the word I'm trying think of... oh yeah, he looks so soph-moric!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, he does, I, I guess, I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean the impostor looks like he's got to be about 13 or 15, does not have the diploma or the degrees, OR the certificate I had from the waterboy on the varsity basketball team during my freshman year!
 '''Kacey:''' Right, um... what are you talking about?
 '''Chris:''' Aw, I'm just on a roll here, you know. I'm just trying- I'm just trying to- I've been-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' I mean, 'cause-
 '''Chris:''' One five minute note or you know... ah, he's telling me history or like um... I got my truths, you know. He's just bringing me all the counter-evidence and I've got to fight back with the real deal.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh oh, you mean when he was trying to duel you in [[Spanish]] and he showed that fake certificate with a fake [[Sonichu]] picture. Oh oh, okay, I get it, 'cause you were confusing me for a minute there, at first I thought that you were suggesting that you were the fat impostor, and you know, I was getting worried for a minute there.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, you... well, I don't know about this and that but I tell you what... you are definitely talking to the real deal, baby. You know I'm going to ROCK YOUR WORLD.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[sighs]'' Yeah, you totally, totally are. I mean, like you said, next time we're going to try the strap-ons, and I can't wait for that!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Let's do it after this, after this, after this one time, the first time this weekend, y'know... yeah, tie me down...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Oh right, like start out slow like that and... oh yeah, I get it, y'know... do you dominant first, then me dominant... I gotcha! ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I know you said you couldn't wait... but I could do it for you Chris, definitely do it for you.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. ''[voice gets high pitched]'' OH YEAH!
 '''Kacey:''' You know baby, I might skip school tomorrow and head down tomorrow, how does that sound?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Tomorrow... hmm.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, finals are until next week, I can skip this week if you want me to spend the whole week with you, get a little good-luck lovin', you know?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Oh yeah, that sounds good, that sounds... yeah, that sounds very good. Mmm. So what time do you think you could be at my place?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, let's see, you're only an hour and a half away, so six p.m. maybe?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. six p.m... mmm. Yeah, that sounds do-able. Six p.m.!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Do-able, just like me, right?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sings]'' DO-ABLE BABY!
 '''Kacey:''' Can you cook me something for dinner, something delicious?
 '''Chris:''' Uuurgh
 '''Kacey:''' And maybe afterwards a [[guitar]] serenade? You know, cause your songs put me in the mood. That's all I want, I want a delicious dinner and a guitar serenade where you sing, you know that last song you sung me just like last time, can you please repeat it for me? Can you at least sing a little bit right now?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Hmmm, hang on a minute let me a minute, let me reflect in my memory here. My well audiograped memory my father entrusted me with well by teaching me so much music.
 '''Kacey:''' Of course! ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. ''[sings]'' YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! IT'S TRUE!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''No, no, not the one you sang for the impostor, the one you sang for me on our last date.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, it's easy to get confused.
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]''Yeah, I'm kind of a little bit confused myself, it's been a long day.
 '''Kacey:''' Aw, I know, I know. I mean, you're doing so well since, you know, considering what you're majoring in and everything.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah! Computer Aided Drafting and Design!
 '''Kacey:''' Did you change your major? What?
 '''Chris:''' No, that's BEEN my major.
 ''[long pause]''
 '''Kacey:''' ...Okay.
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' That's my major, Computer Aided Drafting and Design.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh... that's, uh, weird. But anyway, what are you gonna cook for me? You know, for the date?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Hm, I could definitely whip up a, uh, pretty good stew for you.
 '''Kacey:''' Oooh, a stew, what type of stew?
 '''Chris:''' Oh you know, with the tomatoes and the vegetables and the whatnot.
 '''Kacey:''' You know, I thought you were a little more ambitious than that. I mean, stew sounds good still, but isn't that better maybe for a winter getaway?
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' How about you make my favorite? I told you about my favorite the other day, can you make it?
 '''Chris:''' ''[mumbling]'' Umm...your favorite..uhh...your favorite, your favorite. Uhh. Boy I wore myself out getting excited and I can't even remember too clearly.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' That was my fault, I'm so sorry! But you know, talking to you, just makes me want to, you know. ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' YEAH.
 '''Kacey:''' But it's just chicken risotto, so will you be able to do that for me?
 '''Chris:''' Risotto's...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, maybe make a little video of you making it for me so that, uh, I can see how much love and awesomeness you're putting into it.
 '''Chris:''' Uhh...I don't know if, I don't know if I mean, to make it, to have a video up in the amount of time before you get here, but I would definitely cook you a risotto.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, awesome. So anyway, I like what you said to that impostor about him not having a [[sweetheart]], because I mean, if he had a sweetheart he really would, you know, make her a judge, don't you think? Because if you didn't make me a judge I would have been so pissed off. So I mean, what do you think about that?
 '''Chris:''' Uhh... I'm sorry, you got me confused there, could you start from the beginning and go slow please?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Oh, sorry, sorry, I just got so excited talking to you. ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' It's okay.
 '''Kacey:''' So, um, you know how you told the impostor? The impostor doesn't have a heartsweet on his judge's panel. Do you think that's because he doesn't have one?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... oh yeah, that's, that's very likely but you know, I did realize that I apparently did take observation and notice, that actually one of them is a uh, is a real-life close gal-pal by the name of, uh, I think [[Kim Wilson]]?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, he's-you think he has a girlfriend named Kim Wilson? How do you know that? You are so awesome!
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, I know I'm awesome. ''[laughs]'' Yeah but yeah no, I've just been hearing news talk between, you know, here and there and the [[fanbase]], yadda yadda yadda. No, but they're just basically, they're just friends. Besides, I heard that Kim has been together with this tough dude named, uh, Logan, and they have two German shepherds.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I love German shepherds, but, um-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' ARF!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' But, um, would that mean that you still like her, though? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh no no no no...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Er, HE likes her?
 ''[Pause]''
 '''Chris:''' Uh, uh no no no. No, they've always been friends. I mean, you know, he had to know why though because she was already taken, in order to establish like guys do, to actually be with her or not, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you know, the impostor's never gonna get anyone anyway, he's not as awesome as you. You know, I just fell for you right off the bat. I mean, he's just such a fatty and you're thin and you're hot, and your medallion is so much better.
 '''Chris:''' ...Oh yes. Nothing like the real deal.
 '''Kacey:''' And your flowing locks, I mean, come on. What's with that [[hair]]cut?
 '''Chris:''' Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his mom probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' You're gonna get your mom to cut your hair? Oh Chris, oh you, I get it, you're joking. You're so funny.
 '''Chris:''' Oh...I might be, but then again I might be serious, you never know.
 '''Kacey:''' Well you are full of surprises.
 '''Chris:''' ''[shouting]'' I AM FULL OF SURPRISES! ''[pause]'' I am full of surprises, woman, you know me. I am full of surprises.
 '''Kacey:''' I know you, I definitely, definitely know you. So tell me about some of these surprises. Spoil me, please.
 '''Chris:''' ''[laughs]'' Ahh, okay. Hmm, surprises surprises..yes...well, you'll have to see my [[house]], it'll definitely look so much familiar to you...if you look anywhere on the internet you'll recognize my house.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my god, it's just gonna say you. It's just gonna say "[[Christian Weston Chandler]]", right?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry...
 '''Kacey:''' You know, figuratively?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, the house pretty much screams Christian Weston Chandler. You know my [[car]] has a license plate that says "SONICHU" on it.
 '''Kacey:''' Does it? Wow, that's so funny because the impostor has one just like that! You would think they wouldn't let two tags be the same.
 '''Chris:''' ''[high-pitched]'' Yeah, I know!
 '''Kacey:''' Oh my god, that has got to be, like, the worst coincidence ever. I can't believe he did that to you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know! Yeah, you know, one thing I'm definitely going to share with you after you get here? My original hand-drawn pages. You're just gonna enjoy seeing them, the original hand-drawn, unaltered, from the computer, you will definitely see the hand-drawn resemblance.
 '''Kacey:''' Well yeah I've seen them before. But I can't wait to see...I guess you know, new ones and stuff? So um, really quick, did you get my picture that I sent you?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I saw it. NICE.
 '''Kacey:''' Nice? Okay. What did you think about the color shirt I was wearing?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah... RED. The only thing that's missing is white and blue! Other than that, our shirts are patriotic. WE LOVE AMERICA! Proud to be an American. And I was born in Washington Jefferson Hospital, which is in [[Charlottesville]]...
 '''Kacey:''' So, does that picture make you horny? How horny does it make you?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Turns me on.
 '''Kacey:''' How bad?
 '''Chris:''' Real bad.
 '''Kacey:''' Real bad? Like last time?
 '''Chris:''' Ohhh yes.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' Like so many times in my past before, even before I met you, but there was nothing, you know, I watched my own share of pornography in my lifetime, but that's just me growing up, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' I was curious, I had to know!
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' That's so cute! So what are you doing now?
 '''Chris:''' I'm talking to you, and enjoying this nice conversation.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh Chris, you're so awesome! So um, you remember the last time we were talking and we were talking about, you know, socialism and health care? You know, you never finished your opinion on that. Could you go ahead and expand?
 '''Chris:''' Um, socialism and health care. Umm...yeah, I definitely feel that, uh, health care would be good for, you know, the elderly and the disabled people and, uh, socialism, uh...I don't have all the details on socialism really. I might be leaving a few out in my head to make a final opinion.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, socialism just means, you know... [[Obama]]'s plan on healthcare. We were talking about this for hours!
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I'm just spacing out right now, haha. Ahh... but yeah, Obama's plan on health care. Well you know, I mean, he's, uh yeah, he's trying but yeah he's just not trying hard enough. Hang on, I gotta switch my arm, my right arm's getting tired out on me. You know how it is...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh, is it because you're uhh, you're uhh, you know...touching yourself?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, my right arm was holding the phone and I used my left hand to touch myself-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' ''[giggles]'' Ooh, that's a little spicy!
 '''Chris:''' It's like, you know, you're holding the phone over to your ear and your arm just hurts after a while you've held it there.
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' ...Right...So, um...
 '''Chris:''' Oh actually you know, I just remembered, I wanted to recommend to you some more viewing notes from youtube, I want you to look at the videos on the account CCHAN6789.
 '''Kacey:''' What was that? CCHAN6789?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they were all from me. That's an old account, I pretty much just ended the deal with it, past time.
 '''Kacey:''' W-what's it again?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...It's C-C-H-A-N-6-7-8-9. Yeah, all me there. The real me.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. What? Oh, I'll have to check it later when I'm near a computer. That's cool, that's cool.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. So you know uh, Kim, you know uh, how she, uh, yeah you know, uh, Kim, I actually heard that Kim and her friend Logan actually live in the Charlton area close to the downtown mall, you know? So if you ever wanted to look her up and, you know, just talk to her, you know, find about more about the impostor for me, or you know, see what her opinion of me is on the Internet from her point of view...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, you want me to do some undercover stuff? Chris, that is so sweet of you! You know how much I wanted to get involved.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, sure. You know that ScarletSanctum account? That's hers.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, no, I will totally, totally message her. It's Kim Woods, you said?
 '''Chris:''' No, Kim Wilson. Totally. Message her, talk to her all about me.
 '''Kacey:''' I totally will. That is-yeah. I gotcha.
 '''Chris:''' Oh actually, yeah. I'm looking through my uh, e-mails...oof. My arm's cracking up on me again, you know from holding the phone-
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' You know, that's so weird, because you know, you work out all the time, Chris, so you would think a phone wouldn't be, you know, so heavy for you-
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Yeah, uh yeah, it's like light, but it's like, holding my arm in the same position for an extended period of time, it just bothers me.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay. So, um, you told me that you had some new Sonichu merchandise coming out, so can you tell me about those? ''[giggles]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[sighs]'' Uhh...oh yeah. I definitely got Poké Balls-I definitely got a [[Sonichu Ball]] replica in the works.
 ''[long pause]''
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that's awesome. How much are you gonna sell them for? Cause I know you made so much money...
 '''Chris:''' Eh, they'll probably go for like five, ten bucks. You know, I wanna get it out there.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, oh okay. You want it to start out like that. Okay, got it.
 '''Chris:''' Actually you know, I think I am, oh yeah. As I was trying to say earlier but then my arm cramped up on me, I was checking my e-mail and uh, actually I have Kim Wilson's e-mail address, I could share that to you, okay?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh please do, that would be awesome! I will put it in my address book right away.
 '''Chris:''' All right, I'll spell it out for you. It's S-C-A-R-L-E-T-M-A-R-I-E-S-A-N-C-T-U-A-R-Y at gmail dot com.
 '''Kacey:''' So it's scarletmariesanctuary@gmail.com?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, but yeah. Okay but anyway listen, don't uh, let her, don't uh spread this around to anybody, I'm trusting you. Keep it just between you and me. Just between you and me.
 '''Kacey:''' No, no, definitely, I won't tell anyone. Just between you and me, Chris, just like, you know, our sexy secrets.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yes. Anyway, I gotta go, you know, I'm just tired out right now...
 '''Kacey:''' Aww, I don't want you to go, though.
 '''Chris:''' Oh I know, I wanna talk to you some more too, but, like, ''[high-pitched]'' you know, I need my rest girl, I gotta see you tomorrow at six and make your, uh, your, uh... your... rigatoni?
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Risotto, risotto, sweetie, risotto.
 '''Chris:''' RISOTTO!''[super high-pitched]'' RISOTTO, RISOTTO!
 '''Kacey:''' But still, can you make me a special video, please please? I'm not gonna be there till six so please make me a video!
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Kacey:''' It doesn't have to be cooking, just make me a video about how much you love me, please. You know, I'm feeling so lonely because this impostor, he's taking up a lot of your time, so please?
 '''Chris:''' All right, sweetheart, I'll make you a video saying how much I love you...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[overlapping]'' Oh my god, thank you!
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't be surprised if it ends up on, uh, a different account, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' I know. Oh, you're gonna keep it between us! I got it, I got it. That's awesome. Just e-mail it to me and I will look at it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I will e-mail it to you and let you look at it. Yes, I'll e-mail you the link.
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome, please, PLEASE e-mail me the link.
 '''Chris:''' All RIGHT, we've got a game plan!
 '''Kacey:''' Awesome.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Singing over her]'' YEAH, I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING!
 '''Kacey:''' Be as sexy and awesome like you always are, okay, please?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yes, sexy and awesome. You got it, girl. You got it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then I guess I'll let you go to sleep and, umm...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you have pleasant dreams tonight, sweetheart.
 '''Kacey:''' I will as long as you're in them.
 '''Chris:''' Bye. ''[Kissing noises]''
 '''Kacey:''' I love you, Chris.
 '''Chris:''' I love you too. Love talking to you.
 '''Kacey:''' I love talking to you too...I love doing more with you, but that will have to wait till tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' ''[weirdly high-pitched]'' Yeah, wait till tomorrow when you get here!
 '''Kacey:''' So...I'll be in your dreams, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you'll be in my dreams and I'll be in yours, ''[sings]'' I'll be in yours...
 '''Kacey:''' ''[Tries to interrupt]'' All right, th-
 '''Chris:''' I NEVER PROMISED YOU A HAPPY ENDING! I'm just trying to take a crack at his song now. The one that he could have stolen from me because, you know, I love [[Britney Spears]] as well.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, I haven't seen that one yet, is it up?
 '''Chris:''' Oh yes, [[Duck|it's up]]. ''[sings over her again]''
 '''Kacey:''' ''[giggles]'' Okay, Chris, well...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm tired, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Kacey:''' I'll call you tomorrow before I come, okay? All right, love you, bye!

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=First|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 1.5]]}}

==External links==
*[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBa2RyS3ZUYnJZNEU mp3 of phonecall]
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 4

2014-05-23T02:05:07Z

Export A:

28 [[August 2009]]

=Highlights=
'''KACEY:''' "In other cultures, you would not survive."

*Chris begins the call by asking [[Kacey]] if she has an STD.
*Kacey received a lot of awards during her high school graduation. Chris is jealous.
*Chris suggests talking about political issues even though he has nothing to say about political issues.
*Kacey asks Chris about things she found on the [[ED]] page.
*Chris totally doesn't drink [[cum]] anymore, he definitely doesn't shit himself anymore, and he certainly isn't gullible anymore.
*Chris lies and says the last time he shat himself was THREE YEARS AGO.
*Chris tries to explain why he has so many fucking [[video game]] accounts.
*Chris whines that he only gets 200 out of his 800 a month, and spends 150 on video games.
*Chris was going to call someone about getting a job, "but then stress happened."
*Chris used credit cards to buy thousands of video games, parents are paying the bills.
*Chris doesn't know why he got a [[CADD]] degree, "I feel more comfortable with drawing da [[comics]] than with da buildings and da computers."
*Chris is sending printed-out [[Sonichu]] comics to Marvel, DC and Dark Horse; thinks they will hire him because he's "very popular."
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]] caused all of his problems.
*Chris is capable of surviving, cooking and doing laundry.
*Chris can't look for a job on the internet because he "doesn't know what to put into a search term."
*Kacey says Sonichu is fanfiction. Chris says it's parody.
*Chris lies that he'll look for a job where he works 10 hours a week, Kacey wants him to work 20, eventually he says okay to shut her up.
*Kacey tells him not to wear his [[medallion]] to the [[job]] interview and not to draw on the applications; Chris sadly agrees that he won't.
*Chris thanks Kacey for yelling at him.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|SFdPfDDk_3c}}
| Stardate = 28 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 3]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 5]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Chris:''' Hello-o?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi! It's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey! How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. Um, how are you? Um, are you doing better?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm feeling better, thank you. I was waiting for you to call me.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you just said around 11 to 11:30, so I gave you a few extra, you know, minutes just in case.
 '''Chris:''' I see. Yeah, I know, that's cool. I appreciate that. But it's like, you know. Yeah, I mean- I mean no hurry, but I mean, like, you know. I was waiting for the pleasure of talking to you.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, uh, thank you. [nervous laugh]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so uh, okay, let me go and get my main questions I had written down in my little notebook out of the way. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, you have questions? Yeah, go ahead and ask them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, this is an important one. You don't have any STDs, do you?
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, why would you ask me that?! Of course I don't!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I'm sorry, I just-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I mean, you know I've only been with one person!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I just felt like I just had to ask anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' O...okay, that's just... WOW!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't up... [unintelligible] that wasn't a very good opening topic, I know, I'm sorry. It's just the first one I had on my thing here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well I hope the rest of the questions aren't that bad!
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, yeah well here, here, we'll do a 180 right here, um, yeah, let's, I think we talked about your education background a little bit, you, uh, you said you had honor roll grades back in high school?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, I was 4.0 all the way.
 '''Chris:''' Well that's good. Yeah, you got your diploma and all. Um, okay, did you, uh, ever get any, uh, awards? Um, like, you know right before graduation?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, yeah, like, um, I actually had a couple poems published, and um, I actually graduated with way more credits than I needed so I got a merit certificate.
 '''Chris:''' [enthralled] You got a merit certificate?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Tell me about that, what does that do for you?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, it just goes with your diploma, it just shows that you did way more than you needed to do- so, I got that, and you know, and I did like over 200 hours of community service, so, I got... It's just, it's just something that you... it doesn't really do anything, I mean, awards in high school are nothing, I mean, they don't really help you ever in your life.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, but it's like, you know the achievement, it just makes you feel better, you know, I wish I would've gotten an award for my creativity back in high school.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I guess, but high school really doesn't do anything for you so it's not a big deal.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, it does a lot more than you, does a lot more than you think though, you know, I mean it, it's like, uh, it definitely readies you a little more for the adult life, that you're gonna be leaving high school FOR.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I mean nobody cares, they look at college all the time, college is way bigger of a deal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is a big deal. I hear that.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, so, any other questions?
 '''Chris:''' Well, okay well yeah, we'll move onto the next one... hmm... yeah... Oh yeah, um, what's yo... uh, you drew, you drew your original Kacey in green ink, uh, it's that like, uh, gel ink?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, yeah, it is a gel pen actually, it's just one of the pens I use... for work.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, okay, you generally use a green ink pen, oh, that's... that's interesting.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like to use different colors.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [pause] All colors of the rainbow, right?
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Yeah, definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, now there's my colorful gal.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Well, Chris, remember, I'm just your friend.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know, I'm just saying, you know, I'm just trying to be creati... be clever.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Okay, well, um, keep going with questions.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, hmm, do you like Sudoku? Doin' those Sudoku puzzles in the paper?
 '''Kacey:''' No, I actually don't like Sudoku, I'm really big into logic puzzles but I've never gotten into Sudoku, I don't like it.
 '''Chris:''' Well that's too bad. It's more on logic though, I mean, you know, you basically just put one through nine in the one box, and then divide compared to the other boxes, the whole big nine box...
 '''Kacey:''' Right, I know what it is, I just don't like it.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, okay, well generally...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I'm more of a science person than a math person.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, 'kay well you know you don't need math. I mean, it's like, okay, similarly you could do like Sudoku with like, the letters A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I. You could do letters A through I.
 '''Kacey:''' I guess, but I mean, I just really don't like it, so if we could move on to the next question, that'd be awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Well, okay. What's your favorite board game?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, my favorite board game? Um, I haven't really played any in a long time, actually, so I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, out of all the board games you've played?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, well the last thing I played was Catan.
 '''Chris:''' Catan? [Kacey: "Yes."] I've never heard of that one.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, you should look it up, you should Google it, it's a really awesome game.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, is that spelled with a K?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, no, it's C-A-T-A-N.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, KAY-tawn, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Kuh-TAHN.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, alright... so my favorite board game yet... I got a little bit into Monopoly, but, I don't... yeah, I mean I can call it like my second favorite board game, um, [incoherent stammering] yeah, I guess, and plus, I mean, I have the original Sega Genesis cartridge, and you know, every once in a while I would play that, and I would beat the computer! [He seems proud of this.]
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, cool... well, um, go ahead and keep going with the questions.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well here's a fun one for you you might like. Did you have a favorite toy growing up?
 '''Kacey:''' A favorite toy? Um, yeah, my Easy-Bake Oven.
 '''Chris:''' Your Easy-Bake Oven?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I loved that Easy-Bake Oven.
 '''Chris:''' Hah. Yeah, I can understand... I can understand that. Hah. Make the little small things with the little light bulb, it's fun. Uh, my favorite toy is this little uh Fisher Price Transformer, it was like, you know, my first Transformer, so it's like, uh it's a little red Indy racecar, that transforms into a robot, you actually gotta pop the guy's head in for the full transformation. [pause] So I was... yeah... yeah you'd have to see it to pretty much get it, but... I mean, if you look it up, look it up on the internet, I'm sure you can find pictures, yeah. It's a little- little red Indy racecar.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Fisher Price... hmm... Oh and something else, I think, I feel like I can probably make you feel comfortable with, talkin' about, we can talk about some of your, uh, favorite pa- pa-litickal issues, or we can talk about your favorite episodes of House or The Office, and then uh, I'll just listen, and take it all in, and learn about you more as a friend, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, um, let's do polla... politic issues, why don't you start?
 '''Chris:''' Alright... heh... why don't I start. I mean, you know more about politics than I do... uh... [pause, then frustrated sigh] I'm trying anyway, I'm trying to come up with a good political topic in my head right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if you can't, I mean do you have any other questions?
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I just thought, you know... Okay, what's the most recent political thing that's, uh, you know, on your mind, now, at this point?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, probably health care, cause, you know, that's what I'm going to be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, that's right, you're, uh, you're... [stammers] you're working towards getting your nurse degree. Out there.
 '''Kacey:''' Yup.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, um, we talked about that a little bit before... hmm... Yeah, let's see if I remember... yeah, I think you kind of agreed with me, with I said like, yeah... not everyone can afford healthcare, it's like you know... assist... and then yeah. Oh, yeah, you were... [Kacey starts talking over him]
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, I think you agreed with ME, because you didn't even know about reformed healthcare, you just knew about socialist healthcare.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, that's true, I did, I did agree with you. And then you kind of agreed with you know, when I was talking about- about my father and me going down to Tom Perriello's office, and then he brought that up... but yeah, I was like agreeing with him at the time as well, but- Yeah and then you, then when you talked, you kind of agreed with him a little bit too.
 '''Kacey:''' Right... well do you have any other questions? Cause there's something on my mind that I really need to- talk to you about.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! We could talk about that. What's up?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, so you know all these trolls have been bothering me, right?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So I was talking to my aunt about it, she's a nurse too, and...
 '''Kacey:''' ...you know she got really ''suspicious''. And, um, she Googled your name, and you know, some of the things that the trolls have been saying, I mean, I think they might be true, I mean what is, you know, it's disturbing, and it's making me really uneasy especially since, you know, you've said you- think about me to such a degree, and I mean, it's just like... I mean, I know you've talked about the ED site before, but I mean, is a lot of that true? Like, uh- why are you doing half those things in those videos? And, I thought you were anti-gay, and you're drinking your own cum?? It's gross! And it's just... it's bothering me!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay yeah, that is a whole bunch of skeletons... that is a whole bunch of skeletons in my closet.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, why would you do that?! Do they make you do that?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no... As for the uh... yeah... I pretty much volunteered myself to be doing that, cause it was like, you know, I considered it like recycling, so it's like, you know, I didn't have to lose it... and plus you know I read on the internet there was like health benefits [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' Health benefits of what, of doing that?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' There's- there's- no real health benefits, those are all myths, I mean it doesn't help your hair, it doesn't help your nails, there's not enough protein in it. I mean, is that the whole reason you did it?
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, anyway, I've stopped... anyway, I've stopped doing that months ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's GOOD, but, I mean, there's no point in doing it. I mean... I... I... I mean especially not if you were so anti-gay. I mean, it's just, I mean most people would see that and go, "Wow, this guy must be at least bisexual!"
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah, okay yeah, I can definitely see it from your point of view and I understand. [sigh] Yeah, but I take it like... you know... I learn from my mistakes, and... yeah... I've grown to the understanding and whatnot. Um, anyway, mostly other stuff like you know the posts... and the videos, and me drawing, you know, drawin' on my dick, and pictures of that, yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well, [Chris interjects: "I was talking!"] Hey, no, no, let me go! Okay, another thing that really disturbed me is, apparently, you told these trolls that you, uh... That you shit yourself? I mean, what the hell, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [in an odd falsetto] Ehh, I prettty much... yeah... I mean, I'm more in control of my bowel movements nowadays, and yeah, I... I do that less.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean... you're just... you're 27, I mean... Do you just not make it to the bathroom? [amused] ...Or, or what?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Yeah, I just, I just don't make it to the bathroom quickly enough.
 '''Kacey:''' [incredulous] Wh... h-how do you not know? Your body... gives you... you know... it lets you KNOW that... something... it's like, I mean... Like when was the last time it happened if you're so in control?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, the last time it happened... yeah it was like three years ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Three years ago?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Well it said that it happened recently, so are these lies?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah they're, yeah they, yeah I would say they are exaggerating those. If it happened recently those are lies.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, okay but- [Chris repeats 'the last time I' over and over] you've got to see that all this stuff is disturbing to me.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah I can, I can, I can relate to that. I can understand how you feel. Yeah. I- I would be uneasy too if I was, if I wasn't myself and I was reading that, you know, about myself or... Yeah. Hm- oh yeah, most of the information they got on that ED page... [pause] It's like conned out of me, they conned out of me from pretending to be the past women I've talked to like Blanca... Weiss or uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay but you can't blame other people. I mean, those people aren't near you; you can't say that they made you give them those videos. I mean what- [Chris tries to interrupt] -were you thinking? I mean, this is why your parents are mad at you right now!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah plus I was more gullible back then. And I'm, [sheepish] I've been less gullible for the past few months. And now. [long silence] I've learned from my mistakes. I'm working on these things and I'm moving on from- I'm moving on and trying to put all that behind me. And plus, I've, I've got a responsible detective, uh, up in the FBI to take, to help, to help to towards the down-taking of the website and the downfall of the trolls.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but still, Chris, I mean, Chris you need to understand this stuff is kind of disturbing, and I mean like, okay look, like- I mean, like stuff you ''do'' in real life. Like, if most people touched me as much as you did, I would've gone off with them, but I mean, I'm trying to be polite because I know you have difficulties, and I mean that you, like you say "slow-in-the-mind", but I mean, you've gotta understand you can't keep doing this shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand that... [pause] I understand that.
 '''Kacey:''' And besides, you keep saying that the cops don't care about things. I mean, you've really gotta let some of this stuff ''go''! I mean, I mean don't be slow-in-the-mind with that! I mean, if they don't care they're not- they're never gonna help you, and even just one lone detective isn't gonna be able to do anything!
 '''Chris:''' [long silence] Yeah... Yeah also I did go to Tom Periello a little about that and talk to him about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what exactly is he gonna ''do''? [Talking over Chris] And I mean, I mean like, what about all your counselors at church? I mean, do they know all this? Do they know this stuff?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they know, yeah they, more or less, uh, know about what's been going on in the ED page, yeah. I mean ne- I mean, the people- I mean, between my pastor Elizabeth and… my pastoral counselor [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]], uh yeah, they're ashamed with the, the church and all that being… on the internet and being put on the ED page and being slandered around in that sense. [pause] And I mean, yeah, I've been relating with that as well, and... It's just one of the things I try not to think- that's just one of the bad pieces, that like you know. I mean, I'm not ignorant, I know about it, I understand it, I just can't- [Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, okay, there was a ''video'' of you humping a [[PlayStation 3]]! [laughing] What the ''hell''?
 '''Chris:''' [stammering] I was- I was blackmailed into that. By, uh…
 '''Kacey:''' But the- how were they blackmailing you? These people are on the internet! How are they blackmailing you? [Chris tries to interrupt] You- they- they're not going to do anything ''to'' you!
 '''Chris:''' Okay- okay, Kacey, yeah, this happened like a month ago but like… two months ago. About one- about over a… Yeah I'd say, yeah, closer to two months now. Uh, anyway yeah, this person [[Jack Thaddeus]] got hold of the majority of my [[PlayStation Network]] accounts, including my main- my main American one, my secondary American one, and my, and my import accounts, including my Japan, Hong Kong and Spain-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Wait wait wait, you were doing this over a PlayStation account? ''That's'' what all this was about?
 '''Chris:''' Not just one but the whole- but the, but the majority, a whole bunch of my accounts- [Kacey cuts him off]
 '''Kacey:''' It's [[List of Chris's games|'''video games''']]! It's- oh my gosh, you could've easily called them and they would've understood, I mean… It's video games, [Chris tries to interrupt] you were letting them get to you that bad over a video game?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay- [Kacey cuts him off again]
 '''Kacey:''' '''Chris'''! Think about what you're ''doing''!
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, okay, okay Kacey. Before that- before I made- before th- that video happened, let me give you the - let me start from the beginning here.
 '''Kacey:''' No, no! You're- you did this for a video game? It doesn't matter what they did. These are nameless people behind a computer screen. They're not gonna do anything ''to'' you! Uh-h You did this- you're giving them all this stuff over a video game! [pause] I mean, you need to grow up!
 '''Chris:''' [moaning] Kacey, I'm- I'm- I'm talking Kacey, please. Uh, let me start from the beginning- Okay, Jack Thaddeus got hold of my Playstation Network accounts, and uh, then I tried- then I called up- like, called the American Playstation company, and uh, got both of my American accounts back but I was put on a one-month ban because they considered it like, gamesharing, and that was my- my third strike against me on that. And they're like, you know, next time it might be permanent.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then cut your losses. Is it really worth it? Is it worth having this on the internet for the rest of your life over an account on a ''PS3''?
 '''Chris:''' [moaning again] Yeah, there's a- [sighs] You know, your may contain[?] more about how the accounts are linked, like you know, the PlayStation titles and the titles that go to- that can be copied to the PSP-
 '''Kacey:''' It doesn't matter, it's a video game! You cut your losses and you tell them "Fine, take it!" Then, I mean, then- it's not worth it!
 '''Chris:''': I put better than two thousand dollars on my main American account-
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, WHOA! You've spent two thousand dollars on video games!? Why would you EVER spend that much on video games? What did you get?!
 '''Chris:''' Plus, and plus this was over the course of like, two, three years.
 '''Kacey:''' [Talking over Chris] I haven't spent that much on video games in two to three years! [laughing]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ehh, I didn't have a girlfriend...
 '''Kacey:''' Even if it's two years, it's a thousand dollars a year! It doesn't matter if you have a girlfriend or not. That- that's insane! That's like those people who play Halo all the time. And they do nothing!
 '''Chris:''' [long pause before sigh] Anyway, getting back to- anyway, getting back to- getting back on track here. Yeah, I got my American accounts back. I had trouble tryin' to get back my Japan, and my Spain which those are important to me 'cause- [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' Why would you- why would you even have that many accounts? Isn't an American account just good enough? And, okay-
 '''Chris:''' [splutters incoherently as Kacey continues to talk] I like getting- I- you- Kacey, I like getting imports. [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' How would they be able to get all of them? Okay, but why would they be able to get all of them at ONCE? I mean, did you make them all the same password? I mean, all those- okay, you can't have that many accounts, that's like fraud and stuff!
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Okay, well-
 '''Kacey:''' Just I mean- how did they- how did they get them?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, personally I had like, a multiple number of email addresses, and uh- multip- uh, different passwords for all of them. Uh, upon the reaching of that for Jack Thaddeus, I sh- I pretty much, uh- [[Kim]], a- Kim asked me to uh, share the- uh, for me to share the inf- share my Playstation information with her, 'cause she has a Playstation 3 and-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts, furious] Are you blaming Kim?! [Chris tries to talk] Are you saying it's Kim's fault?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I'm not- no, no, it's not Kim's fault, and she and I talked about this before. But anyway, she had to- I had told her the uh- the uh, information and the- the uh, the usernames and the passwords for the majority, and then she uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, Chris, Chris? You know what, okay let's go back to something-
 '''Chris:''' Instead of my-
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, hey. Hey! HEY! CHRIS! [shouts over him to get his attention] Let's go back to something. You said you spent over $2000. Okay. You are on an income, which taxpayers like myself, pay. How much do you spend on video games a WEEK?
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] I'm not sure.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. You can't even keep track of that. What gives you the right to take that money, and to spend $2000 of it on video games? Where- that- I mean, I can't even buy myself video games, so why should I pay for you to just spend your money on all this?
 '''Chris:''' Most of my income goes- goes towards my family. Uh, paying them a monthly rent of $250, they've gone twice [unintelligible] the bills...
 '''Kacey:''' [Talking over him] No, that doesn't matter! That doesn't matter! It doesn't matter what you pay like that.
 '''Chris:''' I pay- I, I only get like two- I only get like 200 out my 800 a MONTH.
 '''Kacey:''' Then WHY would you spend that much on games? That makes even LESS sense! I mean, okay, with these games that you spent so much money on, how much do you even PLAY them a week? How much do you even play them?
 '''Chris:''' [Long pause] On a near daily basis.
 '''Kacey:''' All of them? [Disbelieving] All 2000 dollars?
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] The majority of it, yes.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I find that hard to believe. I mean, and even if you were, don't you think maybe, you should be- like, like you were talking about getting a job! Like, how are you gonna be able to do that, and playing all these games at once? You should be, uh, I mean, like have you even done anything MORE besides going to the Social Security office?
 '''Chris:''' [Pause, sigh] Yeah. I was gonna call Mr. Will yesterday and find out more about that working ticket, but unfortunately, uh, yeah- yeah, today is still Friday. I was gonna call him today, but then the [[stress]] happened yesterday, and I had to take the emotional day today. I just didn't feel up to making the call today, and-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris! Then how are you ever gonna work? How are you ever gonna work? You can't just have emotional days like that. I mean, you either work or you don't. I mean, you've gotta grow up a little!
 '''Chris:''' I n- I- I've been growing up! I've been growing up. It's just so mu- it's just a- a whole lot for me to think about.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, this is why your parents are mad at you! I can ''see'' why they're mad at you![Chris sighs deeply] I mean, do they even know you spent that much on video games? And that you just like- I- I- I'd- oh my gosh! [Chris sighs] I mean, I don't- I didn't want to go in to work today, and I went in! I didn't want to go to school today, and I went! And I mean, and I've been having problems with sinuses, and- I mean- come on!
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] I, I mean- I mean, if I did have a job, and all that, uh, so many complications. I, uh, when I got my Social Security at first- I was, at first I, you know, like, I think it was about-
 '''Kacey:''' [talks over him] Chris, Chris, if you-
 '''Chris:''' [keeps talking] Two thousand two or three-
 '''Kacey:''' -really only get 200 dollars a month, how did you GET all that money for those video games? Did you steal it?
 '''Chris:''' I get 800- for your information, no. For your information, I get 800 dollars a month.
 '''Kacey:''' No, but you said you only get- you just said you only get 200 out of it 'cause your parents TAKE the rest. I mean, so, how did you- I mean, that would have taken you a long time, and, and that's if you've never spent any other money on anything but video games. Where did you get that money?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I-
 '''Kacey:''' Be honest.
 '''Chris:''' It, it, it did come out of the, uh, remaining 200. I spend like 100, 150 out of that per month.
 '''Kacey:''' There's no way you could have mathematically have done that and only spent your 200 on video games. Where did you get the rest of that money, and please be honest with me.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Uh, between credit car- between credit cards and- [Unintelligible, says something about his mother]
 '''Kacey:''' You have credit cards? Are they yours? [Gasps] You took your parents' credit cards for video games?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, not my parents', they were my own credit cards. I actually applied for those. They had my name on 'em.
 '''Kacey:''' Why would you ''do'' that? [Long pause] You- you don't have a-
 '''Chris:''' I'm a gamer!
 '''Kacey:''' No, that doesn't matter, but you need to be smart about it! You don't have a job! I mean, you've gotta be in so much debt!
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Yeah well, you know, but-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, how are you gonna get this family you want if you have all this debt? I mean, and how do you pay off the credit cards?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, fortunately my- my father and my mother have decided to help me out there. They're paying my credit card bills and I'm paying them back.
 '''Kacey:''' And you think they're gonna be there forever? You think they're always going to clean up after your mistakes?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I know they're not gonna clean up after my mistakes forever. And I- I'm not gonna make those mistakes again.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, Chris. This has given me a lot to think about.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Well, if you want to talk-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe if you just would've not tried to be so serious, like I asked, I mean just, you know, ba- but, I, you know, I had to get- I- this whole thing is just so suspicious.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Eh- wait a minute, this whole thing?
 '''Kacey:''' Just everything! Everything that I- that I've been getting! In these emails! [Chris tries to talk] Everything my aunt found! [Chris sighs] Come on, don't act like you don't know what we're talking about. [Chris begins talking over her] You know that the trolls have been trolling me.
 '''Chris:''' I d- I do. I, I, I know, but- I know what we're talking about. I'm just processing it and remembering in my ''head''.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but I mean, you said you had a degree, right? So um, why aren't you doing anything with it? Like, when I get mine, I mean, I'm getting my PhD. I'm gonna be getting over $100,000 a year. What're YOU gonna be able to do? You've gotta THINK about that.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Look, my father tol- my father enc- encouraged me to get the- to go to a- computer drafting and design degree, he encouraged me to go to college in the first place!
 '''Kacey:''' Then why aren't you using it?
 '''Chris:''' I mean- because I don't know! I don't know how. I, I mean- I don't- I, I, I, I...
 '''Kacey:''' You apply for a job that says you need this degree!
 '''Chris:''' I know I have the compu- a drafting and design degree and certificate, I've been taught that- I'd have to build buildings and whatever on the computer, about that- that-
 '''Kacey:''' So why don't you do that instead of making a resume that has Sonichu and Rosechu on it? I know they're in a very important part of your life, but you could actually go do something.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Because, I just, uh- I just feel more comfortable with drawing the comics and the cartoons, than I do with the, uh- with just the, uh- with just the buildings and the computers and whatnot.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you know what? Well I feel a lot better drawing and doing, you know, singing and stuff than I do waitressing, but you know what? I have to be a productive member of society, and I have to go out and do my job every freaking day whether I rather be home talking to my friends, or going shopping, or doing whatever.
 '''Chris:''' [After a long pause] I see.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, my aunt has done factual independent research, and found out a lot of these things are true that she found out. On her own. [Chris sighs] I mean, you can't-
 '''Chris:''' [Trying to interrupt] I keep feeling-
 '''Kacey:''' -always blame everything with the trolls and ED.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I'll admit that, you know, some of the things in the ED are true, but you know, they just take it and they-
 '''Kacey:''' [Talking over Chris] Yes, I know that, I just told you they were!
 '''Chris:''' -but they warp it around! They sla- they make it worse. They're rewording it.
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, she has been able to verify this information in other places. I just said that it wasn't all ED.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] I... [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' You need to start taking responsibility! I mean, I don't think anyone I know wants to stay in their job the whole time but I mean, I mean don't you wanna be a productive member of society? Don't you want- don't you want to go through your own potential? Maybe Sonichu and Rosechu isn't doing it right now, maybe you need to get your foot in the door first.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm working on getting my foot in the door. I'm gonna buy a new co- I'm gonna buy new a printer/scanner/copier next week, I'm gonna print out-
 '''Kacey:''' For what? How is that gonna help you with your- with your CADD degree? How is that gonna help you utilize something that you went to school for?
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to print out copies of my number zero book and then some, to send to Marvel, Dark Horse, and Archie comics with my resume, so then Sonichu and Rosechu books could be actually made to get me paper-published, and the merchandise to follow, the video games and all that, so that I could get a (good job) (?) - [Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' What if that doesn't work? What's your safety net? What if that doesn't work? [Pause, Chris sighs] Chris, loo- look at Sonichu. It- it's not bad, but what if they don't like it? I mean, it's nothing like, you know, like any other comic books I've seen, and I mean, you- you hijack your own- your own comic and make it about ''you''.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that's true. But still, I mean, at least I have a worldwide fanbase, I'm very popular! I mean, that's even more than enough for any comic book company to uh, want to- want to accept me, and uh, let me work for them.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, even if you have a fanbase, you know, they have- they, they don't go- they just aren't gonna-
 '''Kacey:''' ["hire you"] -off of your fanbase. I mean, especially if you don't have factual proof of how many there are. They're going to show it to, um, groups that they have that do this for a ''living'', and what happens if they don't like it? I mean, you need a backup plan. I can't believe you have a degree that's just sitting around gathering dust. You went to college! I mean, if I went to college, and just let my degree just sit there, and never got certified, or licensed... I mean what's the whole point? You- you've gotta do something with it.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah, maybe-
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you think that would make your parents proud?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my- I would like to make my parents proud. There's so many things in my life I'd like to do. As a matter of fact, you know, during the whole time, even- even while earning my degree, I never actually ''had''- a job game plan- during that, during that time, and even after I got my degree, I just did not know where to go. Just like I, just like the uh- [Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' They have career centers at every college for that! [Chris tries to talk, Kacey continues] But then, no, which- you can't even contact now, because you freaking, uh, you got yourself an order where you can't even go there! I mean, they have counselors to help, and you screwed that over, over- this stupid stuff! H- how- how- why?!
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] [[Mary Lee Walsh]] got me very mad. She interrupted my early days of my [[sweetheart search]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, and now it's back to Mary Lee Walsh, it's not you, right?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I- you mean- you know- but the yeah, you know, that was the- [stammers]
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you forgave her!
 '''Chris:''' I- I mean- I did forgive her, but still, that's what caused that portion of the thing. I'm just - going back to that for the one time just to reference. Just to reference.
 '''Kacey:''' Look, just because she didn't like how you were trying to get a girlfriend, does not equal you not being able to go on with your life.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause, sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' There are- there- I mean, okay, you, also, like let's - okay, you are on disability. The government has SO much for you. You could go to another college, and they would pay for most of it. They would - you know - they could help you so much, you just need to reach out! I mean, the only thing I'm looking at is that you're saying that- I mean, I just don't know. I mean, especially with you wanting to be a househusband, I mean is just- having sex and a girlfriend more important than having a job, than being a MAN? [Christian sighs] In other cultures, you would not survive.
 '''Chris:''' I- I have the capabilities to survive. I have the capabilities-
 '''Kacey:''' [interjects] Then do it!
 '''Chris:''' -of cooking, I- I'm capable of being able to uh, do laundry, and, uh, and [[chores|all of that]].
 '''Kacey:''' No! That's not what I'm talking about. You have a degree. You need to use it.
 '''Chris:''' [LONG pause] I don't even know of any places around ''Charlottesville'' that are hiring for that sort of thing!
 '''Kacey:''' Why don't you look on them? Go on the internet?
 '''Chris:''' Even if- even though- even though my- even though Susan Hannifan at Piedmont, ehh, says that there are jobs like that around-
 '''Kacey:''' CHRIS.
 '''Chris:''' -Charlottesville, possibly available-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. You have a-
 '''Chris:''' -even if I graduate-
 '''Kacey:''' You have a CADD degree! You can do work from home! I mean, what happens if you found a great job and it wasn't in Charlottesville? Would it really be that bad if you had to move out of your parents' house?
 '''Chris:''' [pause, pitiful sigh] I grew up in this house! It's like, you know, it's-
 '''Kacey:''' You're 27, you have to leave sometime! Are you waiting for your parents to [[Death#Robert_Franklin_Chandler_Jr._.281927-2011.29|DIE]] or something?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Kacey:''' Then what, you're just going to live there your whole life?
 '''Chris:''' [stammering] I- I just don't know - it's just for awhile, I mean, I have been feeling uncomfortable. And I just- have not found- I just don't- I- [voice climbs into a falsetto] so many things I need to GATHER in my head out of the whole lifetime, I just-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay- Chris. CHRIS.
 '''Chris:''' -and somebody needs to ''understand''.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. Chris. You want me to be interested in you. But you're telling me right now that you want to live in your parents' house for the rest of your life? W- what?! And you think I'm gonna GO for that?
 '''Chris:''' No, I did not say that, I mean, I mean like, you know, if things got that, got that far, I mean, I would be happy to move in with YOU, if that was the case. But I- I'm just- [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' But you can't do something for yourself?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah I just... Uh, so many things tied up with this one house, it- (?) [Kacey talks over him]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, let's say that you did move in with me, what are you gonna do? Are you just gonna sit around and draw Sonichu and Rosechu, or are you gonna actually go out and do something?
 '''Chris:''' I would actually go out and do something.
 '''Kacey:''' W- why can't you do that first? Why can't you prove to me that first? [Chris sighs] I mean, what are you gonna do?
 '''Chris:''' [pause, sigh] Well... [sigh] I would go out, see if, see if I could find somebody who would hire me?
 '''Kacey:''' Well... I mean, I don't know why you don't just do that right now. I mean, we have the internet, that's so easy. What would- would- would you do?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Well, even when it comes to the internet, I don't know what to put into the search term. That just- that- [trails off unintelligibly]
 '''Kacey:''' Put in CADD! Put in your degree! [laughs] It's not that hard! Any... simpleton can figure it out!
 '''Chris:''' ...and then there are more details to where I just, couldn't, I- I just don't comprehend yet. [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, seriously. Y- you need to take this seriously. This is ridiculous.
 '''Chris:''' Y- Yes, it is ridiculous.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, maybe- I... I don't know what to say. I really don't. You're just giving me excuses why you don't need to productive. I mean, are you just gonna... you're just gonna sit around? I mean, you don't even know what kind of job you can get with a CADD degree, do you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is one- that is one problem, yes.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean, it's- it's simple, you even said something like, buildings and stuff... I mean, come on! Why don't- why don't you research this? You could go to Wikipedia, for God's sakes, and find out what you can do with a CADD degree. [short pause] You just want to sit around and collect your [[tugboat]] for the rest of your life, don't you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I don't want to just sit around, and collect my tugboat... [trails off]
 '''Kacey:''' Then why haven't you done anything? It's been years since you've been in school.
 '''Chris:''' ...I, I'm sorry, what was that?
 '''Kacey:''' It's been years since you've been in school.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I have been-
 '''Kacey:''' Why haven't- why haven't you done anything yet? I mean, most people take a gap year, but that's... a... YEAR. ONE YEAR. Not... forever!
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Yeah, you're right. [another pause] I've just- I've been feeling ''wayward''.
 '''Kacey:''' [pause] ...Wayward?
 '''Chris:''' [mumbles] Yeah... lost. I didn't know what to DO.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're gonna stay lost until you actually DO something! Or, you know what, try to go to a school that you're NOT banned from, and get a degree in something you really WANT to do. Why aren't you going into art or something?
 '''Chris:''' [long sigh]I didn't think of that when I first applied for a degree- (?)
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Why don't you do something now? I mean, I'm only one year younger than you, and I'm going to school now. I changed my major, it's not hard. And, you CAN get help. It's a lot harder for me.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Some people have multiple degrees. I mean, look at me. I'm double-majoring AND minoring.
 '''Chris:''' ...Huh. ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' But, you're not going to do anything. Just, something tells me you're just not.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to do something! I just... I'm just... processing all this in my head, so then I can figure out, what to do. I mean, my current plan, is to, try to get myself published at Marvel, DC, or Dark Horse, or even-
 '''Kacey:''' You need to- just- Yeah, but you need a backup plan. Forget about that. Forget about that. You need to start by getting a job somewhere. I mean, okay. Okay, also, do you know why? Do it for Rosechu and Sonichu. 'Cause seriously- like, are they going to take you seriously when they see you've been out of work for a long time? Even starving artists do something. I mean, seriously, be a Fraggle (??) do SOMETHING. Most people in comics have an art degree anyway. [pause, Christian sighs] And besides, I mean, how far are you really going to GO? When you- made a character out of two copyrighted characters. And, your comics are FULL of things that are copyrighted. I mean, I know they're like private jokes and everything-
 '''Chris:''' [interrupts huffily] It's called- it's called a [[parody]].
 '''Kacey:''' It doesn't ''seem'' like a parody. [Christian sighs again.] A parody generally makes fun of things. Are you making fun of Sonic?
 '''Chris:''' No. ...I just, I'm just... I'm, I'm just accentuating on some of the things that I like!
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but then, that's- that's a ''fan'' comic! That's not a comic, that is fan FICTION. [Chris sighs again] That's like Mary Sue shit!
 '''Chris:''' [uncomprehending] ...What?
 '''Kacey:''' You can't sell it! It's just fan fiction!
 '''Chris:''' [long pause, sigh, pause] ...I don't know. But anyway, I'm gonna try, anyway, anyway, uh, Plan A, I'm gonna try for, to get myself paper-published and, uh, all that. But yeah, Plan B I'll- I'll definitely take everything that we talked about into consideration. I, I'll Google Computer Aided Drafting and Design and see what I can get with that degree. Or even, I- because, you know, my family could not, because you know, we can't- my family could not afford to, uh, at this time, to even get me classes, even at University of Virginia, which is more expensive than ''Piedmont''.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you need permission from the original copyright holders to sell this! Like, you try to sell Sonichu and Rosechu, and Nintendo, and Sega and Konami are gonna be on your ass!
 '''Chris:''' [pause, sigh] I tried to get Nintendo to...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, didn't you think about that? You think they're not gonna see that?
 '''Chris:''' I thought- I thought about that, and I tried to- [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' [interjecting] Chris. CHRIS. These people have lawyers, and their job is to just go ''everything'' on the internet to find something they can sue over. I'm sur-
 '''Kacey:''' -prised that they didn't FIND it already. ...And if they didn't find it already, how famous can Sonichu really be? 'Cause this is their job. Their JOB is to cause lawsuits.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Well they- they- if that was their job, they would have sued me ''years'' ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Then I guess, maybe, Sonichu isn't as big as you thought. I'm not trying to be mean, here. This is [[White Knights|tough love]], Chris. I mean... you've gotta do something. It's reality.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [pause] I know, I have to do something. ...I want to do something.
 '''Kacey:''' So, okay, then what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do tomorrow? What are you gonna do tomorrow then.
 '''Chris:''' I'll Google [computer jobs (?)] and- I'll Google CADD, and Charlottesville, and see what jobs are available around here. I- I- I'll leave a message for Mr. Will, and see if I can get a work ticket, on my, on my, degree. On my- [Kacey cuts him off]
 '''Kacey:''' Do you know what I want you to do tomorrow? Do you know what I want you to do? [Chris says something unintelligible] I want you to go out, and put out an application or two. Can you do that? Apply for Target, apply for McDonald's, do something. I want to know, and I want proof, that you are applying for something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I'll, I'll go apply for- I'll go apply, I'll go, I'll go out and apply for, look for some jobs, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You'd better. I mean, even WalMart will hire anyone. Do WalMart.
 '''Chris:''' ...All right. I'll go for WalMart. [pause] But it- and also, you know, I still don't understand, how many, what my maximum hours a week are I can work for and keep my social security, because I know, that makes- I know I'm getting more a month than I could at any job like WalMart.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well... [pause] You better apply for something, or else I just don't know what I'm gonna do. I- I'm definitely gonna... think on this. I mean, and it doesn't matter- if you don't go over certain hours, they'll do you part-time, and then it won't hurt yer tugboat. And you know what, even if you made less- couldn't- couldn't just the pride of knowing you accomplished something be enough? That's the kind of guy that girls want. Not someone who goes, "Oh, I could get more just sitting around doing nothing." And you could get benefits. I mean, come on, isn't that- isn't that worth it?
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah. It is worth it. It, and it takes, it just took somebody- it took, it took somebody like you to, uh, make me realize, about the poten- about the, all that, and that's what- that's what I should be doing.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, there's tons of disabled people who work. I mean, you like Goodwill a lot, they help out people, and I'm sure they still get their quote-unquote "tugboats." And they're productive.
 '''Chris:''' [pause, sigh] Yeah. I'll go out- I'll go, I'll go, fill out some applications tomorrow, and, uh, like at WalMart and Target, and see if they'll, see if they'll hire me, you know. Even the, even the work, like, a maximum of like, ten hours a week. That's- I mean, I don't know if it's ten or fifteen hours maximum for, you know, not- yeh- I mean, I'll try for ten hours at first.
 '''Kacey:''' ...Okay.
 '''Chris:''' All right.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, if you can, if you can get up to twenty hours without hurting your tugboat, I want you to do the full twenty. I want you to really go gung-ho on this.
 '''Chris:''' If I can get- if I can get the full twenty I can go, I'll do that. But I'll, I'll start small with ten.
 '''Kacey:''' No. You need to ask for at least twenty. That's still part-time.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm. ...Yeah. All right. Well I mean, you know, when I apply with other people, I'll ask, I'll try to go, try to shoot for, like, ten. Just as a- just as a- like-
 '''Kacey:''' No, you put- you put ten to twenty then. At least put ten to twenty. But I want you to do twenty. You can't even just do that for me. That's like, nothing. That's like- even if you work four days a week, that's five hours.
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I'll- I'll do it. I'll- I'll put in ten to twenty hours. And I'll still have, still have to talk to my social security people about uh, this as well.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm pretty sure you can get anywhere, you know, up to twenty hours. You can probably get that online.
 '''Chris:''' All right, I'll- I'll look into it online, and I'll, uh, on the application I'll put ten to twenty hours. On the application.
 '''Kacey:''' You'd better dress nice too, are you gonna dress nice for this? I mean, just in case?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I- I'll dress nice. I'll dress nice for the interview, yes. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Don't- don't wear your [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]].
 '''Chris:''' [softly, defeated] Okay, I'm not gonna wear my medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' I know that's a part of you, but that, that's not gonna be allowed. Like, I can't even wear necklaces, and I'm a girl.
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' That's like- that's like having piercings going to an interview, it's stupid.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' And don't- don't draw on the applications!
 '''Chris:''' I will not draw on the applications.
 [long pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I- I just hope this is really sinking in. Because, I- I have a feeling you're not into this.
 '''Chris:''' It is- it is sinking in. I'm really going to do it.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, you should put twenty hours a week, because that's just the maximum. They're probably not going to give you that anyway, you'll probably end up with ten, but put twenty.
 '''Chris:''' I will put twenty. On the application.
 '''Kacey:''' Good, because it's gonna make you look a lot more serious, too.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, I do need to be more serious. On that.
[pause] I'm going to do it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to- I want to-
 '''Kacey:''' I hope so.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to look for a job at uh, WalMart, and Target, and fill out applications... and I'm gonna work a maximum of twenty hours. I'm going to do this.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, good. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' ...Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes?
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.
 '''Kacey:''' You're welcome.
 '''Chris:''' I want you to know that- if you, you know, even though it's tough love, it's all sinking in. It really is. I'm gonna- I'm gonna do it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I hope you do.
 '''Chris:''' And I hope you know, I appreciate you giving me- I appreciate you giving me the... tough love that I needed.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. ...Well, um, I've gotta go now, so. I hope this all sinks in, but I've really gotta go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, all right. [hangs up]

=External links=
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 3]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 5]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 4

2014-05-23T02:03:38Z

Export A:

28 [[August 2009]]

=Highlights=
'''KACEY:''' "In other cultures, you would not survive."

*Chris begins the call by asking [[Kacey]] if she has an STD.
*Kacey received a lot of awards during her high school graduation. Chris is jealous.
*Chris suggests talking about political issues even though he has nothing to say about political issues.
*Kacey asks Chris about things she found on the [[ED]] page.
*Chris totally doesn't drink [[cum]] anymore, he definitely doesn't shit himself anymore, and he certainly isn't gullible anymore.
*Chris lies and says the last time he shat himself was THREE YEARS AGO.
*Chris tries to explain why he has so many fucking [[video game]] accounts.
*Chris whines that he only gets 200 out of his 800 a month, and spends 150 on video games.
*Chris was going to call someone about getting a job, "but then stress happened."
*Chris used credit cards to buy thousands of video games, parents are paying the bills.
*Chris doesn't know why he got a [[CADD]] degree, "I feel more comfortable with drawing da [[comics]] than with da buildings and da computers."
*Chris is sending printed-out [[Sonichu]] comics to Marvel, DC and Dark Horse; thinks they will hire him because he's "very popular."
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]] caused all of his problems.
*Chris is capable of surviving, cooking and doing laundry.
*Chris can't look for a job on the internet because he "doesn't know what to put into a search term."
*Kacey says Sonichu is fanfiction. Chris says it's parody.
*Chris lies that he'll look for a job where he works 10 hours a week, Kacey wants him to work 20, eventually he says okay to shut her up.
*Kacey tells him not to wear his [[medallion]] to the [[job]] interview and not to draw on the applications; Chris sadly agrees that he won't.
*Chris thanks Kacey for yelling at him.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|SFdPfDDk_3c}}
| Stardate = 28 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 3]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 5]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Chris:''' Hello-o?
 '''Kacey:''' Hi! It's Kacey!
 '''Chris:''' Hey Kacey! How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' I'm good. Um, how are you? Um, are you doing better?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm feeling better, thank you. I was waiting for you to call me.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you just said around 11 to 11:30, so I gave you a few extra, you know, minutes just in case.
 '''Chris:''' I see. Yeah, I know, that's cool. I appreciate that. But it's like, you know. Yeah, I mean- I mean no hurry, but I mean, like, you know. I was waiting for the pleasure of talking to you.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, uh, thank you. [nervous laugh]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, so uh, okay, let me go and get my main questions I had written down in my little notebook out of the way. Um...
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, you have questions? Yeah, go ahead and ask them.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, this is an important one. You don't have any STDs, do you?
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, why would you ask me that?! Of course I don't!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I'm sorry, I just-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I mean, you know I've only been with one person!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I just felt like I just had to ask anyway.
 '''Kacey:''' O...okay, that's just... WOW!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't up... [unintelligible] that wasn't a very good opening topic, I know, I'm sorry. It's just the first one I had on my thing here.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well I hope the rest of the questions aren't that bad!
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, yeah well here, here, we'll do a 180 right here, um, yeah, let's, I think we talked about your education background a little bit, you, uh, you said you had honor roll grades back in high school?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, I was 4.0 all the way.
 '''Chris:''' Well that's good. Yeah, you got your diploma and all. Um, okay, did you, uh, ever get any, uh, awards? Um, like, you know right before graduation?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, yeah, like, um, I actually had a couple poems published, and um, I actually graduated with way more credits than I needed so I got a merit certificate.
 '''Chris:''' [enthralled] You got a merit certificate?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Tell me about that, what does that do for you?
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, it just goes with your diploma, it just shows that you did way more than you needed to do- so, I got that, and you know, and I did like over 200 hours of community service, so, I got... It's just, it's just something that you... it doesn't really do anything, I mean, awards in high school are nothing, I mean, they don't really help you ever in your life.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah, but it's like, you know the achievement, it just makes you feel better, you know, I wish I would've gotten an award for my creativity back in high school.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I guess, but high school really doesn't do anything for you so it's not a big deal.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, it does a lot more than you, does a lot more than you think though, you know, I mean it, it's like, uh, it definitely readies you a little more for the adult life, that you're gonna be leaving high school FOR.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I mean nobody cares, they look at college all the time, college is way bigger of a deal.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it is a big deal. I hear that.
 '''Kacey:''' Um, so, any other questions?
 '''Chris:''' Well, okay well yeah, we'll move onto the next one... hmm... yeah... Oh yeah, um, what's yo... uh, you drew, you drew your original Kacey in green ink, uh, it's that like, uh, gel ink?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, yeah, it is a gel pen actually, it's just one of the pens I use... for work.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, okay, you generally use a green ink pen, oh, that's... that's interesting.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like to use different colors.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. [pause] All colors of the rainbow, right?
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Yeah, definitely.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, now there's my colorful gal.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Well, Chris, remember, I'm just your friend.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I know, I'm just saying, you know, I'm just trying to be creati... be clever.
 '''Kacey:''' [laughs] Okay, well, um, keep going with questions.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, hmm, do you like Sudoku? Doin' those Sudoku puzzles in the paper?
 '''Kacey:''' No, I actually don't like Sudoku, I'm really big into logic puzzles but I've never gotten into Sudoku, I don't like it.
 '''Chris:''' Well that's too bad. It's more on logic though, I mean, you know, you basically just put one through nine in the one box, and then divide compared to the other boxes, the whole big nine box...
 '''Kacey:''' Right, I know what it is, I just don't like it.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, okay, well generally...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] I'm more of a science person than a math person.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, 'kay well you know you don't need math. I mean, it's like, okay, similarly you could do like Sudoku with like, the letters A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I. You could do letters A through I.
 '''Kacey:''' I guess, but I mean, I just really don't like it, so if we could move on to the next question, that'd be awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Well, okay. What's your favorite board game?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, my favorite board game? Um, I haven't really played any in a long time, actually, so I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, out of all the board games you've played?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, well the last thing I played was Catan.
 '''Chris:''' Catan? [Kacey: "Yes."] I've never heard of that one.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, you should look it up, you should Google it, it's a really awesome game.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, is that spelled with a K?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, no, it's C-A-T-A-N.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, KAY-tawn, okay.
 '''Kacey:''' Kuh-TAHN.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, alright... so my favorite board game yet... I got a little bit into Monopoly, but, I don't... yeah, I mean I can call it like my second favorite board game, um, [incoherent stammering] yeah, I guess, and plus, I mean, I have the original Sega Genesis cartridge, and you know, every once in a while I would play that, and I would beat the computer! [He seems proud of this.]
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay, cool... well, um, go ahead and keep going with the questions.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright, well here's a fun one for you you might like. Did you have a favorite toy growing up?
 '''Kacey:''' A favorite toy? Um, yeah, my Easy-Bake Oven.
 '''Chris:''' Your Easy-Bake Oven?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I loved that Easy-Bake Oven.
 '''Chris:''' Hah. Yeah, I can understand... I can understand that. Hah. Make the little small things with the little light bulb, it's fun. Uh, my favorite toy is this little uh Fisher Price Transformer, it was like, you know, my first Transformer, so it's like, uh it's a little red Indy racecar, that transforms into a robot, you actually gotta pop the guy's head in for the full transformation. [pause] So I was... yeah... yeah you'd have to see it to pretty much get it, but... I mean, if you look it up, look it up on the internet, I'm sure you can find pictures, yeah. It's a little- little red Indy racecar.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Fisher Price... hmm... Oh and something else, I think, I feel like I can probably make you feel comfortable with, talkin' about, we can talk about some of your, uh, favorite pa- pa-litickal issues, or we can talk about your favorite episodes of House or The Office, and then uh, I'll just listen, and take it all in, and learn about you more as a friend, you know?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well, um, let's do polla... politic issues, why don't you start?
 '''Chris:''' Alright... heh... why don't I start. I mean, you know more about politics than I do... uh... [pause, then frustrated sigh] I'm trying anyway, I'm trying to come up with a good political topic in my head right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, if you can't, I mean do you have any other questions?
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I just thought, you know... Okay, what's the most recent political thing that's, uh, you know, on your mind, now, at this point?
 '''Kacey:''' Um, probably health care, cause, you know, that's what I'm going to be doing.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, that's right, you're, uh, you're... [stammers] you're working towards getting your nurse degree. Out there.
 '''Kacey:''' Yup.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, um, we talked about that a little bit before... hmm... Yeah, let's see if I remember... yeah, I think you kind of agreed with me, with I said like, yeah... not everyone can afford healthcare, it's like you know... assist... and then yeah. Oh, yeah, you were... [Kacey starts talking over him]
 '''Kacey:''' Actually, Chris, I think you agreed with ME, because you didn't even know about reformed healthcare, you just knew about socialist healthcare.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, that's true, I did, I did agree with you. And then you kind of agreed with you know, when I was talking about- about my father and me going down to Tom Perriello's office, and then he brought that up... but yeah, I was like agreeing with him at the time as well, but- Yeah and then you, then when you talked, you kind of agreed with him a little bit too.
 '''Kacey:''' Right... well do you have any other questions? Cause there's something on my mind that I really need to- talk to you about.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! We could talk about that. What's up?
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, um, so you know all these trolls have been bothering me, right?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' So I was talking to my aunt about it, she's a nurse too, and...

=Part 2=

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 4 Part 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Kfm03xCYBe8}}
| Stardate = 28 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Kacey:''' ...you know she got really ''suspicious''. And, um, she Googled your name, and you know, some of the things that the trolls have been saying, I mean, I think they might be true, I mean what is, you know, it's disturbing, and it's making me really uneasy especially since, you know, you've said you- think about me to such a degree, and I mean, it's just like... I mean, I know you've talked about the ED site before, but I mean, is a lot of that true? Like, uh- why are you doing half those things in those videos? And, I thought you were anti-gay, and you're drinking your own cum?? It's gross! And it's just... it's bothering me!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay yeah, that is a whole bunch of skeletons... that is a whole bunch of skeletons in my closet.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, why would you do that?! Do they make you do that?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no... As for the uh... yeah... I pretty much volunteered myself to be doing that, cause it was like, you know, I considered it like recycling, so it's like, you know, I didn't have to lose it... and plus you know I read on the internet there was like health benefits [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' Health benefits of what, of doing that?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' There's- there's- no real health benefits, those are all myths, I mean it doesn't help your hair, it doesn't help your nails, there's not enough protein in it. I mean, is that the whole reason you did it?
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, anyway, I've stopped... anyway, I've stopped doing that months ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Well that's GOOD, but, I mean, there's no point in doing it. I mean... I... I... I mean especially not if you were so anti-gay. I mean, it's just, I mean most people would see that and go, "Wow, this guy must be at least bisexual!"
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah, okay yeah, I can definitely see it from your point of view and I understand. [sigh] Yeah, but I take it like... you know... I learn from my mistakes, and... yeah... I've grown to the understanding and whatnot. Um, anyway, mostly other stuff like you know the posts... and the videos, and me drawing, you know, drawin' on my dick, and pictures of that, yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay well, [Chris interjects: "I was talking!"] Hey, no, no, let me go! Okay, another thing that really disturbed me is, apparently, you told these trolls that you, uh... That you shit yourself? I mean, what the hell, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [in an odd falsetto] Ehh, I prettty much... yeah... I mean, I'm more in control of my bowel movements nowadays, and yeah, I... I do that less.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean... you're just... you're 27, I mean... Do you just not make it to the bathroom? [amused] ...Or, or what?
 '''Chris:''' Uh... Yeah, I just, I just don't make it to the bathroom quickly enough.
 '''Kacey:''' [incredulous] Wh... h-how do you not know? Your body... gives you... you know... it lets you KNOW that... something... it's like, I mean... Like when was the last time it happened if you're so in control?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, the last time it happened... yeah it was like three years ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Three years ago?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Well it said that it happened recently, so are these lies?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah they're, yeah they, yeah I would say they are exaggerating those. If it happened recently those are lies.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, okay but- [Chris repeats 'the last time I' over and over] you've got to see that all this stuff is disturbing to me.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah I can, I can, I can relate to that. I can understand how you feel. Yeah. I- I would be uneasy too if I was, if I wasn't myself and I was reading that, you know, about myself or... Yeah. Hm- oh yeah, most of the information they got on that ED page... [pause] It's like conned out of me, they conned out of me from pretending to be the past women I've talked to like Blanca... Weiss or uh...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay but you can't blame other people. I mean, those people aren't near you; you can't say that they made you give them those videos. I mean what- [Chris tries to interrupt] -were you thinking? I mean, this is why your parents are mad at you right now!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah plus I was more gullible back then. And I'm, [sheepish] I've been less gullible for the past few months. And now. [long silence] I've learned from my mistakes. I'm working on these things and I'm moving on from- I'm moving on and trying to put all that behind me. And plus, I've, I've got a responsible detective, uh, up in the FBI to take, to help, to help to towards the down-taking of the website and the downfall of the trolls.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but still, Chris, I mean, Chris you need to understand this stuff is kind of disturbing, and I mean like, okay look, like- I mean, like stuff you ''do'' in real life. Like, if most people touched me as much as you did, I would've gone off with them, but I mean, I'm trying to be polite because I know you have difficulties, and I mean that you, like you say "slow-in-the-mind", but I mean, you've gotta understand you can't keep doing this shit.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I understand that... [pause] I understand that.
 '''Kacey:''' And besides, you keep saying that the cops don't care about things. I mean, you've really gotta let some of this stuff ''go''! I mean, I mean don't be slow-in-the-mind with that! I mean, if they don't care they're not- they're never gonna help you, and even just one lone detective isn't gonna be able to do anything!
 '''Chris:''' [long silence] Yeah... Yeah also I did go to Tom Periello a little about that and talk to him about that.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, what exactly is he gonna ''do''? [Talking over Chris] And I mean, I mean like, what about all your counselors at church? I mean, do they know all this? Do they know this stuff?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, they know, yeah they, more or less, uh, know about what's been going on in the ED page, yeah. I mean ne- I mean, the people- I mean, between my pastor Elizabeth and… my pastoral counselor [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]], uh yeah, they're ashamed with the, the church and all that being… on the internet and being put on the ED page and being slandered around in that sense. [pause] And I mean, yeah, I've been relating with that as well, and... It's just one of the things I try not to think- that's just one of the bad pieces, that like you know. I mean, I'm not ignorant, I know about it, I understand it, I just can't- [Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, okay, there was a ''video'' of you humping a [[PlayStation 3]]! [laughing] What the ''hell''?
 '''Chris:''' [stammering] I was- I was blackmailed into that. By, uh…
 '''Kacey:''' But the- how were they blackmailing you? These people are on the internet! How are they blackmailing you? [Chris tries to interrupt] You- they- they're not going to do anything ''to'' you!
 '''Chris:''' Okay- okay, Kacey, yeah, this happened like a month ago but like… two months ago. About one- about over a… Yeah I'd say, yeah, closer to two months now. Uh, anyway yeah, this person [[Jack Thaddeus]] got hold of the majority of my [[PlayStation Network]] accounts, including my main- my main American one, my secondary American one, and my, and my import accounts, including my Japan, Hong Kong and Spain-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupts] Wait wait wait, you were doing this over a PlayStation account? ''That's'' what all this was about?
 '''Chris:''' Not just one but the whole- but the, but the majority, a whole bunch of my accounts- [Kacey cuts him off]
 '''Kacey:''' It's [[List of Chris's games|'''video games''']]! It's- oh my gosh, you could've easily called them and they would've understood, I mean… It's video games, [Chris tries to interrupt] you were letting them get to you that bad over a video game?!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay- [Kacey cuts him off again]
 '''Kacey:''' '''Chris'''! Think about what you're ''doing''!
 '''Chris:''': Yeah, okay, okay Kacey. Before that- before I made- before th- that video happened, let me give you the - let me start from the beginning here.
 '''Kacey:''' No, no! You're- you did this for a video game? It doesn't matter what they did. These are nameless people behind a computer screen. They're not gonna do anything ''to'' you! Uh-h You did this- you're giving them all this stuff over a video game! [pause] I mean, you need to grow up!
 '''Chris:''' [moaning] Kacey, I'm- I'm- I'm talking Kacey, please. Uh, let me start from the beginning- Okay, Jack Thaddeus got hold of my Playstation Network accounts, and uh, then I tried- then I called up- like, called the American Playstation company, and uh, got both of my American accounts back but I was put on a one-month ban because they considered it like, gamesharing, and that was my- my third strike against me on that. And they're like, you know, next time it might be permanent.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, then cut your losses. Is it really worth it? Is it worth having this on the internet for the rest of your life over an account on a ''PS3''?
 '''Chris:''' [moaning again] Yeah, there's a- [sighs] You know, your may contain[?] more about how the accounts are linked, like you know, the PlayStation titles and the titles that go to- that can be copied to the PSP-
 '''Kacey:''' It doesn't matter, it's a video game! You cut your losses and you tell them "Fine, take it!" Then, I mean, then- it's not worth it!
 '''Chris:''': I put better than two thousand dollars on my main American account-
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, WHOA! You've spent two thousand dollars on video games!? Why would you EVER spend that much on video games? What did you get?!
 '''Chris:''' Plus, and plus this was over the course of like, two, three years.
 '''Kacey:''' [Talking over Chris] I haven't spent that much on video games in two to three years! [laughing]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, ehh, I didn't have a girlfriend...
 '''Kacey:''' Even if it's two years, it's a thousand dollars a year! It doesn't matter if you have a girlfriend or not. That- that's insane! That's like those people who play Halo all the time. And they do nothing!
 '''Chris:''' [long pause before sigh] Anyway, getting back to- anyway, getting back to- getting back on track here. Yeah, I got my American accounts back. I had trouble tryin' to get back my Japan, and my Spain which those are important to me 'cause- [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' Why would you- why would you even have that many accounts? Isn't an American account just good enough? And, okay-

=Part 3=

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 4 Part 3
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|XkaS7XlDQR0}}
| Stardate = 28 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Part 4]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Chris:''' [splutters incoherently as Kacey continues to talk] I like getting- I- you- Kacey, I like getting imports. [stress sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' How would they be able to get all of them? Okay, but why would they be able to get all of them at ONCE? I mean, did you make them all the same password? I mean, all those- okay, you can't have that many accounts, that's like fraud and stuff!
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Okay, well-
 '''Kacey:''' Just I mean- how did they- how did they get them?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, personally I had like, a multiple number of email addresses, and uh- multip- uh, different passwords for all of them. Uh, upon the reaching of that for Jack Thaddeus, I sh- I pretty much, uh- [[Kim]], a- Kim asked me to uh, share the- uh, for me to share the inf- share my Playstation information with her, 'cause she has a Playstation 3 and-
 '''Kacey:''' [Interrupts, furious] Are you blaming Kim?! [Chris tries to talk] Are you saying it's Kim's fault?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I'm not- no, no, it's not Kim's fault, and she and I talked about this before. But anyway, she had to- I had told her the uh- the uh, information and the- the uh, the usernames and the passwords for the majority, and then she uh-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, Chris, Chris? You know what, okay let's go back to something-
 '''Chris:''' Instead of my-
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, hey. Hey! HEY! CHRIS! [shouts over him to get his attention] Let's go back to something. You said you spent over $2000. Okay. You are on an income, which taxpayers like myself, pay. How much do you spend on video games a WEEK?
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] I'm not sure.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. You can't even keep track of that. What gives you the right to take that money, and to spend $2000 of it on video games? Where- that- I mean, I can't even buy myself video games, so why should I pay for you to just spend your money on all this?
 '''Chris:''' Most of my income goes- goes towards my family. Uh, paying them a monthly rent of $250, they've gone twice [unintelligible] the bills...
 '''Kacey:''' [Talking over him] No, that doesn't matter! That doesn't matter! It doesn't matter what you pay like that.
 '''Chris:''' I pay- I, I only get like two- I only get like 200 out my 800 a MONTH.
 '''Kacey:''' Then WHY would you spend that much on games? That makes even LESS sense! I mean, okay, with these games that you spent so much money on, how much do you even PLAY them a week? How much do you even play them?
 '''Chris:''' [Long pause] On a near daily basis.
 '''Kacey:''' All of them? [Disbelieving] All 2000 dollars?
 '''Chris:''' [Pause] The majority of it, yes.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I find that hard to believe. I mean, and even if you were, don't you think maybe, you should be- like, like you were talking about getting a job! Like, how are you gonna be able to do that, and playing all these games at once? You should be, uh, I mean, like have you even done anything MORE besides going to the Social Security office?
 '''Chris:''' [Pause, sigh] Yeah. I was gonna call Mr. Will yesterday and find out more about that working ticket, but unfortunately, uh, yeah- yeah, today is still Friday. I was gonna call him today, but then the [[stress]] happened yesterday, and I had to take the emotional day today. I just didn't feel up to making the call today, and-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris! Then how are you ever gonna work? How are you ever gonna work? You can't just have emotional days like that. I mean, you either work or you don't. I mean, you've gotta grow up a little!
 '''Chris:''' I n- I- I've been growing up! I've been growing up. It's just so mu- it's just a- a whole lot for me to think about.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, this is why your parents are mad at you! I can ''see'' why they're mad at you![Chris sighs deeply] I mean, do they even know you spent that much on video games? And that you just like- I- I- I'd- oh my gosh! [Chris sighs] I mean, I don't- I didn't want to go in to work today, and I went in! I didn't want to go to school today, and I went! And I mean, and I've been having problems with sinuses, and- I mean- come on!
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] I, I mean- I mean, if I did have a job, and all that, uh, so many complications. I, uh, when I got my Social Security at first- I was, at first I, you know, like, I think it was about-
 '''Kacey:''' [talks over him] Chris, Chris, if you-
 '''Chris:''' [keeps talking] Two thousand two or three-
 '''Kacey:''' -really only get 200 dollars a month, how did you GET all that money for those video games? Did you steal it?
 '''Chris:''' I get 800- for your information, no. For your information, I get 800 dollars a month.
 '''Kacey:''' No, but you said you only get- you just said you only get 200 out of it 'cause your parents TAKE the rest. I mean, so, how did you- I mean, that would have taken you a long time, and, and that's if you've never spent any other money on anything but video games. Where did you get that money?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I-
 '''Kacey:''' Be honest.
 '''Chris:''' It, it, it did come out of the, uh, remaining 200. I spend like 100, 150 out of that per month.
 '''Kacey:''' There's no way you could have mathematically have done that and only spent your 200 on video games. Where did you get the rest of that money, and please be honest with me.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Uh, between credit car- between credit cards and- [Unintelligible, says something about his mother]
 '''Kacey:''' You have credit cards? Are they yours? [Gasps] You took your parents' credit cards for video games?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, not my parents', they were my own credit cards. I actually applied for those. They had my name on 'em.
 '''Kacey:''' Why would you ''do'' that? [Long pause] You- you don't have a-
 '''Chris:''' I'm a gamer!
 '''Kacey:''' No, that doesn't matter, but you need to be smart about it! You don't have a job! I mean, you've gotta be in so much debt!
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Yeah well, you know, but-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, how are you gonna get this family you want if you have all this debt? I mean, and how do you pay off the credit cards?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, fortunately my- my father and my mother have decided to help me out there. They're paying my credit card bills and I'm paying them back.
 '''Kacey:''' And you think they're gonna be there forever? You think they're always going to clean up after your mistakes?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I know they're not gonna clean up after my mistakes forever. And I- I'm not gonna make those mistakes again.
 '''Kacey:''' I don't know, Chris. This has given me a lot to think about.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Well, if you want to talk-
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe if you just would've not tried to be so serious, like I asked, I mean just, you know, ba- but, I, you know, I had to get- I- this whole thing is just so suspicious.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Eh- wait a minute, this whole thing?
 '''Kacey:''' Just everything! Everything that I- that I've been getting! In these emails! [Chris tries to talk] Everything my aunt found! [Chris sighs] Come on, don't act like you don't know what we're talking about. [Chris begins talking over her] You know that the trolls have been trolling me.
 '''Chris:''' I d- I do. I, I, I know, but- I know what we're talking about. I'm just processing it and remembering in my ''head''.
 '''Kacey:''' I know but I mean, you said you had a degree, right? So um, why aren't you doing anything with it? Like, when I get mine, I mean, I'm getting my PhD. I'm gonna be getting over $100,000 a year. What're YOU gonna be able to do? You've gotta THINK about that.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Look, my father tol- my father enc- encouraged me to get the- to go to a- computer drafting and design degree, he encouraged me to go to college in the first place!
 '''Kacey:''' Then why aren't you using it?
 '''Chris:''' I mean- because I don't know! I don't know how. I, I mean- I don't- I, I, I, I...
 '''Kacey:''' You apply for a job that says you need this degree!
 '''Chris:''' I know I have the compu- a drafting and design degree and certificate, I've been taught that- I'd have to build buildings and whatever on the computer, about that- that-
 '''Kacey:''' So why don't you do that instead of making a resume that has Sonichu and Rosechu on it? I know they're in a very important part of your life, but you could actually go do something.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] Because, I just, uh- I just feel more comfortable with drawing the comics and the cartoons, than I do with the, uh- with just the, uh- with just the buildings and the computers and whatnot.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well you know what? Well I feel a lot better drawing and doing, you know, singing and stuff than I do waitressing, but you know what? I have to be a productive member of society, and I have to go out and do my job every freaking day whether I rather be home talking to my friends, or going shopping, or doing whatever.
 '''Chris:''' [After a long pause] I see.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, my aunt has done factual independent research, and found out a lot of these things are true that she found out. On her own. [Chris sighs] I mean, you can't-
 '''Chris:''' [Trying to interrupt] I keep feeling-
 '''Kacey:''' -always blame everything with the trolls and ED.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I'll admit that, you know, some of the things in the ED are true, but you know, they just take it and they-
 '''Kacey:''' [Talking over Chris] Yes, I know that, I just told you they were!
 '''Chris:''' -but they warp it around! They sla- they make it worse. They're rewording it.
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, she has been able to verify this information in other places. I just said that it wasn't all ED.
 '''Chris:''' [Sigh] I... [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' You need to start taking responsibility! I mean, I don't think anyone I know wants to stay in their job the whole time but I mean, I mean don't you wanna be a productive member of society? Don't you want- don't you want to go through your own potential? Maybe Sonichu and Rosechu isn't doing it right now, maybe you need to get your foot in the door first.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm working on getting my foot in the door. I'm gonna buy a new co- I'm gonna buy new a printer/scanner/copier next week, I'm gonna print out-
 '''Kacey:''' For what? How is that gonna help you with your- with your CADD degree? How is that gonna help you utilize something that you went to school for?
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to print out copies of my number zero book and then some, to send to Marvel, Dark Horse, and Archie comics with my resume, so then Sonichu and Rosechu books could be actually made to get me paper-published, and the merchandise to follow, the video games and all that, so that I could get a (good job) (?) - [Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' What if that doesn't work? What's your safety net? What if that doesn't work? [Pause, Chris sighs] Chris, loo- look at Sonichu. It- it's not bad, but what if they don't like it? I mean, it's nothing like, you know, like any other comic books I've seen, and I mean, you- you hijack your own- your own comic and make it about ''you''.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that's true. But still, I mean, at least I have a worldwide fanbase, I'm very popular! I mean, that's even more than enough for any comic book company to uh, want to- want to accept me, and uh, let me work for them.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, even if you have a fanbase, you know, they have- they, they don't go- they just aren't gonna-

=Part 4=

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 4 Part 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|1kfg6dSTihk}}
| Stardate = 28 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
| next = [[#Part 5|Part 5]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Kacey:''' ["hire you"] -off of your fanbase. I mean, especially if you don't have factual proof of how many there are. They're going to show it to, um, groups that they have that do this for a ''living'', and what happens if they don't like it? I mean, you need a backup plan. I can't believe you have a degree that's just sitting around gathering dust. You went to college! I mean, if I went to college, and just let my degree just sit there, and never got certified, or licensed... I mean what's the whole point? You- you've gotta do something with it.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah, maybe-
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you think that would make your parents proud?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, my- I would like to make my parents proud. There's so many things in my life I'd like to do. As a matter of fact, you know, during the whole time, even- even while earning my degree, I never actually ''had''- a job game plan- during that, during that time, and even after I got my degree, I just did not know where to go. Just like I, just like the uh- [Kacey interrupts]
 '''Kacey:''' They have career centers at every college for that! [Chris tries to talk, Kacey continues] But then, no, which- you can't even contact now, because you freaking, uh, you got yourself an order where you can't even go there! I mean, they have counselors to help, and you screwed that over, over- this stupid stuff! H- how- how- why?!
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] [[Mary Lee Walsh]] got me very mad. She interrupted my early days of my [[sweetheart search]].
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, and now it's back to Mary Lee Walsh, it's not you, right?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I- you mean- you know- but the yeah, you know, that was the- [stammers]
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you forgave her!
 '''Chris:''' I- I mean- I did forgive her, but still, that's what caused that portion of the thing. I'm just - going back to that for the one time just to reference. Just to reference.
 '''Kacey:''' Look, just because she didn't like how you were trying to get a girlfriend, does not equal you not being able to go on with your life.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause, sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' There are- there- I mean, okay, you, also, like let's - okay, you are on disability. The government has SO much for you. You could go to another college, and they would pay for most of it. They would - you know - they could help you so much, you just need to reach out! I mean, the only thing I'm looking at is that you're saying that- I mean, I just don't know. I mean, especially with you wanting to be a househusband, I mean is just- having sex and a girlfriend more important than having a job, than being a MAN? [Christian sighs] In other cultures, you would not survive.
 '''Chris:''' I- I have the capabilities to survive. I have the capabilities-
 '''Kacey:''' [interjects] Then do it!
 '''Chris:''' -of cooking, I- I'm capable of being able to uh, do laundry, and, uh, and [[chores|all of that]].
 '''Kacey:''' No! That's not what I'm talking about. You have a degree. You need to use it.
 '''Chris:''' [LONG pause] I don't even know of any places around ''Charlottesville'' that are hiring for that sort of thing!
 '''Kacey:''' Why don't you look on them? Go on the internet?
 '''Chris:''' Even if- even though- even though my- even though Susan Hannifan at Piedmont, ehh, says that there are jobs like that around-
 '''Kacey:''' CHRIS.
 '''Chris:''' -Charlottesville, possibly available-
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. You have a-
 '''Chris:''' -even if I graduate-
 '''Kacey:''' You have a CADD degree! You can do work from home! I mean, what happens if you found a great job and it wasn't in Charlottesville? Would it really be that bad if you had to move out of your parents' house?
 '''Chris:''' [pause, pitiful sigh] I grew up in this house! It's like, you know, it's-
 '''Kacey:''' You're 27, you have to leave sometime! Are you waiting for your parents to [[Death#Robert_Franklin_Chandler_Jr._.281927-2011.29|DIE]] or something?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Kacey:''' Then what, you're just going to live there your whole life?
 '''Chris:''' [stammering] I- I just don't know - it's just for awhile, I mean, I have been feeling uncomfortable. And I just- have not found- I just don't- I- [voice climbs into a falsetto] so many things I need to GATHER in my head out of the whole lifetime, I just-
 '''Kacey:''' Okay- Chris. CHRIS.
 '''Chris:''' -and somebody needs to ''understand''.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris. Chris. You want me to be interested in you. But you're telling me right now that you want to live in your parents' house for the rest of your life? W- what?! And you think I'm gonna GO for that?
 '''Chris:''' No, I did not say that, I mean, I mean like, you know, if things got that, got that far, I mean, I would be happy to move in with YOU, if that was the case. But I- I'm just- [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' But you can't do something for yourself?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Yeah I just... Uh, so many things tied up with this one house, it- (?) [Kacey talks over him]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, let's say that you did move in with me, what are you gonna do? Are you just gonna sit around and draw Sonichu and Rosechu, or are you gonna actually go out and do something?
 '''Chris:''' I would actually go out and do something.
 '''Kacey:''' W- why can't you do that first? Why can't you prove to me that first? [Chris sighs] I mean, what are you gonna do?
 '''Chris:''' [pause, sigh] Well... [sigh] I would go out, see if, see if I could find somebody who would hire me?
 '''Kacey:''' Well... I mean, I don't know why you don't just do that right now. I mean, we have the internet, that's so easy. What would- would- would you do?
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Well, even when it comes to the internet, I don't know what to put into the search term. That just- that- [trails off unintelligibly]
 '''Kacey:''' Put in CADD! Put in your degree! [laughs] It's not that hard! Any... simpleton can figure it out!
 '''Chris:''' ...and then there are more details to where I just, couldn't, I- I just don't comprehend yet. [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, seriously. Y- you need to take this seriously. This is ridiculous.
 '''Chris:''' Y- Yes, it is ridiculous.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, maybe- I... I don't know what to say. I really don't. You're just giving me excuses why you don't need to productive. I mean, are you just gonna... you're just gonna sit around? I mean, you don't even know what kind of job you can get with a CADD degree, do you.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, that is one- that is one problem, yes.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I mean, it's- it's simple, you even said something like, buildings and stuff... I mean, come on! Why don't- why don't you research this? You could go to Wikipedia, for God's sakes, and find out what you can do with a CADD degree. [short pause] You just want to sit around and collect your [[tugboat]] for the rest of your life, don't you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I don't want to just sit around, and collect my tugboat... [trails off]
 '''Kacey:''' Then why haven't you done anything? It's been years since you've been in school.
 '''Chris:''' ...I, I'm sorry, what was that?
 '''Kacey:''' It's been years since you've been in school.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I have been-
 '''Kacey:''' Why haven't- why haven't you done anything yet? I mean, most people take a gap year, but that's... a... YEAR. ONE YEAR. Not... forever!
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Yeah, you're right. [another pause] I've just- I've been feeling ''wayward''.
 '''Kacey:''' [pause] ...Wayward?
 '''Chris:''' [mumbles] Yeah... lost. I didn't know what to DO.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, you're gonna stay lost until you actually DO something! Or, you know what, try to go to a school that you're NOT banned from, and get a degree in something you really WANT to do. Why aren't you going into art or something?
 '''Chris:''' [long sigh]I didn't think of that when I first applied for a degree- (?)
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Why don't you do something now? I mean, I'm only one year younger than you, and I'm going to school now. I changed my major, it's not hard. And, you CAN get help. It's a lot harder for me.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Some people have multiple degrees. I mean, look at me. I'm double-majoring AND minoring.
 '''Chris:''' ...Huh. ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' But, you're not going to do anything. Just, something tells me you're just not.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to do something! I just... I'm just... processing all this in my head, so then I can figure out, what to do. I mean, my current plan, is to, try to get myself published at Marvel, DC, or Dark Horse, or even-
 '''Kacey:''' You need to- just- Yeah, but you need a backup plan. Forget about that. Forget about that. You need to start by getting a job somewhere. I mean, okay. Okay, also, do you know why? Do it for Rosechu and Sonichu. 'Cause seriously- like, are they going to take you seriously when they see you've been out of work for a long time? Even starving artists do something. I mean, seriously, be a Fraggle (??) do SOMETHING. Most people in comics have an art degree anyway. [pause, Christian sighs] And besides, I mean, how far are you really going to GO? When you- made a character out of two copyrighted characters. And, your comics are FULL of things that are copyrighted. I mean, I know they're like private jokes and everything-
 '''Chris:''' [interrupts huffily] It's called- it's called a [[parody]].
 '''Kacey:''' It doesn't ''seem'' like a parody. [Christian sighs again.] A parody generally makes fun of things. Are you making fun of Sonic?
 '''Chris:''' No. ...I just, I'm just... I'm, I'm just accentuating on some of the things that I like!
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but then, that's- that's a ''fan'' comic! That's not a comic, that is fan FICTION. [Chris sighs again] That's like Mary Sue shit!
 '''Chris:''' [uncomprehending] ...What?
 '''Kacey:''' You can't sell it! It's just fan fiction!
 '''Chris:''' [long pause, sigh, pause] ...I don't know. But anyway, I'm gonna try, anyway, anyway, uh, Plan A, I'm gonna try for, to get myself paper-published and, uh, all that. But yeah, Plan B I'll- I'll definitely take everything that we talked about into consideration. I, I'll Google Computer Aided Drafting and Design and see what I can get with that degree. Or even, I- because, you know, my family could not, because you know, we can't- my family could not afford to, uh, at this time, to even get me classes, even at University of Virginia, which is more expensive than ''Piedmont''.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, but you need permission from the original copyright holders to sell this! Like, you try to sell Sonichu and Rosechu, and Nintendo, and Sega and Konami are gonna be on your ass!
 '''Chris:''' [pause, sigh] I tried to get Nintendo to...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, didn't you think about that? You think they're not gonna see that?
 '''Chris:''' I thought- I thought about that, and I tried to- [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' [interjecting] Chris. CHRIS. These people have lawyers, and their job is to just go ''everything'' on the internet to find something they can sue over. I'm sur-

=Part 5=

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey-CWC Call 4 Part 5
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|E8T5qkoK1xM}}
| Stardate = 28 August 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[#Part 4|Part 4]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 5]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Kacey:''' -prised that they didn't FIND it already. ...And if they didn't find it already, how famous can Sonichu really be? 'Cause this is their job. Their JOB is to cause lawsuits.
 '''Chris:''' [long pause] Well they- they- if that was their job, they would have sued me ''years'' ago.
 '''Kacey:''' Then I guess, maybe, Sonichu isn't as big as you thought. I'm not trying to be mean, here. This is [[White Knights|tough love]], Chris. I mean... you've gotta do something. It's reality.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. [pause] I know, I have to do something. ...I want to do something.
 '''Kacey:''' So, okay, then what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do tomorrow? What are you gonna do tomorrow then.
 '''Chris:''' I'll Google [computer jobs (?)] and- I'll Google CADD, and Charlottesville, and see what jobs are available around here. I- I- I'll leave a message for Mr. Will, and see if I can get a work ticket, on my, on my, degree. On my- [Kacey cuts him off]
 '''Kacey:''' Do you know what I want you to do tomorrow? Do you know what I want you to do? [Chris says something unintelligible] I want you to go out, and put out an application or two. Can you do that? Apply for Target, apply for McDonald's, do something. I want to know, and I want proof, that you are applying for something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah... I'll, I'll go apply for- I'll go apply, I'll go, I'll go out and apply for, look for some jobs, yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' You'd better. I mean, even WalMart will hire anyone. Do WalMart.
 '''Chris:''' ...All right. I'll go for WalMart. [pause] But it- and also, you know, I still don't understand, how many, what my maximum hours a week are I can work for and keep my social security, because I know, that makes- I know I'm getting more a month than I could at any job like WalMart.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, well... [pause] You better apply for something, or else I just don't know what I'm gonna do. I- I'm definitely gonna... think on this. I mean, and it doesn't matter- if you don't go over certain hours, they'll do you part-time, and then it won't hurt yer tugboat. And you know what, even if you made less- couldn't- couldn't just the pride of knowing you accomplished something be enough? That's the kind of guy that girls want. Not someone who goes, "Oh, I could get more just sitting around doing nothing." And you could get benefits. I mean, come on, isn't that- isn't that worth it?
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah. It is worth it. It, and it takes, it just took somebody- it took, it took somebody like you to, uh, make me realize, about the poten- about the, all that, and that's what- that's what I should be doing.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, there's tons of disabled people who work. I mean, you like Goodwill a lot, they help out people, and I'm sure they still get their quote-unquote "tugboats." And they're productive.
 '''Chris:''' [pause, sigh] Yeah. I'll go out- I'll go, I'll go, fill out some applications tomorrow, and, uh, like at WalMart and Target, and see if they'll, see if they'll hire me, you know. Even the, even the work, like, a maximum of like, ten hours a week. That's- I mean, I don't know if it's ten or fifteen hours maximum for, you know, not- yeh- I mean, I'll try for ten hours at first.
 '''Kacey:''' ...Okay.
 '''Chris:''' All right.
 '''Kacey:''' But I mean, if you can, if you can get up to twenty hours without hurting your tugboat, I want you to do the full twenty. I want you to really go gung-ho on this.
 '''Chris:''' If I can get- if I can get the full twenty I can go, I'll do that. But I'll, I'll start small with ten.
 '''Kacey:''' No. You need to ask for at least twenty. That's still part-time.
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm. ...Yeah. All right. Well I mean, you know, when I apply with other people, I'll ask, I'll try to go, try to shoot for, like, ten. Just as a- just as a- like-
 '''Kacey:''' No, you put- you put ten to twenty then. At least put ten to twenty. But I want you to do twenty. You can't even just do that for me. That's like, nothing. That's like- even if you work four days a week, that's five hours.
 '''Chris:''' I- I- I'll- I'll do it. I'll- I'll put in ten to twenty hours. And I'll still have, still have to talk to my social security people about uh, this as well.
 '''Kacey:''' I'm pretty sure you can get anywhere, you know, up to twenty hours. You can probably get that online.
 '''Chris:''' All right, I'll- I'll look into it online, and I'll, uh, on the application I'll put ten to twenty hours. On the application.
 '''Kacey:''' You'd better dress nice too, are you gonna dress nice for this? I mean, just in case?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I- I- I'll dress nice. I'll dress nice for the interview, yes. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Don't- don't wear your [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]].
 '''Chris:''' [softly, defeated] Okay, I'm not gonna wear my medallion.
 '''Kacey:''' I know that's a part of you, but that, that's not gonna be allowed. Like, I can't even wear necklaces, and I'm a girl.
 '''Chris:''' ...Hm.
 '''Kacey:''' That's like- that's like having piercings going to an interview, it's stupid.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' And don't- don't draw on the applications!
 '''Chris:''' I will not draw on the applications.
 [long pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, I- I just hope this is really sinking in. Because, I- I have a feeling you're not into this.
 '''Chris:''' It is- it is sinking in. I'm really going to do it.
 '''Kacey:''' Besides, you should put twenty hours a week, because that's just the maximum. They're probably not going to give you that anyway, you'll probably end up with ten, but put twenty.
 '''Chris:''' I will put twenty. On the application.
 '''Kacey:''' Good, because it's gonna make you look a lot more serious, too.
 '''Chris:''' ...Yeah, I do need to be more serious. On that.
[pause] I'm going to do it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to- I want to-
 '''Kacey:''' I hope so.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to look for a job at uh, WalMart, and Target, and fill out applications... and I'm gonna work a maximum of twenty hours. I'm going to do this.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, good. That's good.
 '''Chris:''' ...Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' Yes?
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.
 '''Kacey:''' You're welcome.
 '''Chris:''' I want you to know that- if you, you know, even though it's tough love, it's all sinking in. It really is. I'm gonna- I'm gonna do it.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. I hope you do.
 '''Chris:''' And I hope you know, I appreciate you giving me- I appreciate you giving me the... tough love that I needed.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay. ...Well, um, I've gotta go now, so. I hope this all sinks in, but I've really gotta go.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, all right. [hangs up]

=External links=
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found and video removed from YouTube. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 3]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 5]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Kacey Call 3

2014-05-23T02:01:30Z

Export A:

{{quote|I told her the long story about him and me getting access to his account and all that in an e-mail. She called me on my cell later, and I listened to her rant on about portraying me as the bad guy from pretending to be Jeff, yet she CARED for him very much regardless of using a stolen name and identity.}}
{{quote|I did what I originally set out to do with Kacie, make her aware about her being with the Impostor and NOT the real artist. That was my only design and course with her, since she was that close to Jeff. And I tried to be a friend for her. Oh, well.|Chris, [[Katie Bay E-mails 5]]}}

In '''Kacey Call 3''', recorded on 4 [[August 2009]] a few hours after the [[Kacey Call 2|previous phone call]], a devastated Kacey confronts Chris about impersonating her boyfriend [[Liquid Chris]] over the phone.

==Video==
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 3
{{#ev:youtube|SNn8K5vexfE}}
| Stardate = 4 [[August 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Solid Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 2]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 4]]
}}

 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' [heavy sigh] I can’t believe you did that. Wha-what is wrong with you? I mean, you didn’t, you could’ve just told me something, you didn’t even have to make him look so bad. Just, what the hell?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey. I’m sorry. I was trying to spare your feelings.
 '''Kacey:''' No! No you weren’t! Why couldn’t you just tell me from the start? I mean, [sobbing] I mean what happens if he did something to me or if, what happens if YOU did something to me? You wanted me to come to YOUR house! And, wha-what were you gonna do? You think I wouldn’t know? [sigh]
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to ease you into it. I’m sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s not easing someone into it. Just what were you going to do? Rape me? Or what were you going to do?
 '''Chris:''' No! No! No. I was only going to show you the true face of the real man.
 '''Kacey:''' But what makes you the real man? Why the fuck would I love YOU? You tricked me too! [sobbing] I don’t know, it’s just, I mean, just how could you? You’re just as bad as him. [sobbing]
 '''Chris:''' I know and I understand. I’m sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' No! No you’re not, cuz you’re the one that told me this shit and and… I mean you had so, so many chances, you’re just, it’s fucking me… you were playing with me, you were playing with my heart. I mean, what? So you could get laid out of it? So you could be not a virgin anymore?
 '''Chris:''' No. No. No, no, I was trying to, ah, I was trying to earn, I was trying to be your friend. I was trying to, uh…
 '''Kacey:''' How? How is that being my friend? How is that being my friend? Tricking me! I mean, you were pretending to be same person you’re trying to save me from. I mean, why would I want to be your friend, much less your girlfriend? I mean what redeeming qualities do you have that you have shown me now? [sigh]
 '''Chris:''' I can’t say off the top of my head, but I would do my best to make up for what I have done-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] No! Of course you can’t, of course you can’t! You know what? Exactly! This is it exactly! You can’t, you can’t do any of the things he did for me! You can’t play the guitar, you don’t have a job, you aren’t in school, I mean how did you even… I can’t believe you fooled me. I can’t believe that I did that, because you know what, even if he tricked me, I at least was trying to stay true to him. Look what you did to me. Now, not only that but you made me a cheater!
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah…
 '''Kacey:''' You’re. Nothing. Like. Him! How am I just supposed to, I mean you can’t even say anything! And look at what you did! Look what you did!
 '''Chris:''' I am looking at what I did. I’m looking and I have done a lot of damage.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you think I could go from him to you? I mean, just like that? Just like “oh look, I make Sonichu”! I mean, I just… Like, you know what? Do you even know what’s right and wrong? Even if what he did was wrong he was at least there for me and, and… I just don’t fucking know anymore. Just what were you expecting?
 '''Chris:''' It’s okay…
 '''Kacey:''' Just what were you expecting me to do, just go “oh, okay”?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, no, I was, I was not expecting anything. I was gonna, I mean, I, like you know, I mean, like you know, he told everybody about 14 Branchland Court Ruckersville, VA 22968. Anybody could go to my house…
 '''Kacey:''' So that means you could be a fat impostor too? So that makes it right? Right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh it does? It does? Did you just say yes to me? Did you just say yes?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No! I, I, I, I’m not even gonna, ah, I, I, okay, yeah, he was flaunting the address along with a lot of fake documents and a fake driver's license. If he had successfully fooled anyone into actually going to the home address they would’ve found the real me anyway then realized that he was a troll
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] It doesn’t matter, you’ve already put that info on the internet, obviously! Because I’ve went to your pages. And I went to the ED thing. I went to everything. And I mean, you put yourself out there, so you were asking for it. But does that mean that I had to be caught up in the middle? You could’ve told me. You. Could. Have. Told. Me. I mean, you could’ve saved me. But you know what? You were just as bad as him. You’re just a big fat fucking liar.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' I dinna, I did not have the good, as well as information from the ah, from Dan. I, ah, ah, his name tag, I think his name was Dan. I didn’t have that much information from Dan yet…
 '''Kacey:''' His name is Chris. His name IS Chris. [pause] God…
 '''Chris:''' I’m talking about the guy who, the guy who called him Jeff.
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, well who cares that it’s- You didn’t have to give me those fucking e-mails. Cuz that just made him look bad too. And I don’t think he’s really doing that shit behind my back. I really, really don’t.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I’m not, I’m not…
 '''Kacey:''' I’ve seen him, I’ve had dinner with him, I’ve seen his car, I’ve seen his driver’s license. What the hell dude? What?
 '''Chris:''' I’m not, I’m not, I’m not putting him down for, uh, I’m not saying that he, ah, that he’s guilty of those things or anything like…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Then why would you show them to me? Why would you show me those first before you decided to tell me? You were trying to make him look bad and you know it! So, where does that put you? Where does that put you in this?
 '''Chris:''' I, Ike, I understand, this puts me in a bad position.
 '''Kacey:''' Why would you even do that? Like if you did, if you did want a chance with me, and let’s say I would come around, what… I, I can’t even speak to you! I can’t even SPEAK to you I am so angry. [sobbing]
 '''Chris:''' I, I understand, I understand.
 '''Kacey:''' You don’t even sound like you are upset that I am crying. So what am I supposed to believe?
 '''Chris:''' I am upset.
 '''Kacey:''' No!
 '''Chris:''' I am upset.
 '''Kacey:''' No you’re not!
 '''Chris:''' Try to remain calm.
 '''Kacey:''' No you’re not!
 '''Chris:''' I’m trying to remain calm.
 '''Kacey:''' How am I supposed to be calm? Look what you did!
 '''Chris:''' I know, I know. I, I’m very very sorry…
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] You’re just disappointed that I…
 '''Chris:''' [interrupting] And I would be willing to do anything in the world to make it up to you!
 '''Kacey:''' Well then why did you invite me over first? You’re just disappointed now because I’m definitely not coming. You, I mean, just, you had ulterior motives or else you would’ve told me something first. You fucking told me “Hey, call me. Hey, send me pictures. Hey come visit me.” The first thing you said, the first thing was “Hey, come see me.” What? What the hell?
 '''Chris:''' Well, I, I assumed he was going to tell you that anyway. I, I had, I mean…
 '''Kacey:''' No! No! But you know what? Do you know… what? Rrrrgh! I mean, do you not get that even, let’s say that he is doing all these evil things to you, do you not get that trying to steal a girlfriend is wrong? Did you not get that maybe, maybe I love him? And I mean, ah, I mean you were trying to say you weren’t going to rape me but you’re like “we can go to my room and go straight to love making." I mean when were you going to tell me? When were you going to tell me? When I came in the door? You think that I wasn’t going to freak out or something? You think I wasn’t going to notice that you’re not him?!
 '''Chris:''' [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' That would be embarrassing for your parents. What - did you not even think of them?
 '''Chris:''' I thought of a lot of things but I can’t think of everything at once. I have a mental problem, I’m actually [[slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes. I- I can't think of everything...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] You know what, that’s not a good enough excuse [Chris starts to interrupt] Hey! No! You let me talk! You let me talk!
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Kacey:''' No, that is not a good excuse. That is never a good excuse. You just do not freaking do that. You do not blame shit like that, you, you knew what you were doing and I know you knew what you were doing. You were being a selfish little prick.
 '''Chris:''' Ah… I thought, I’m sorry I came off that impression.
 '''Kacey:''' Well what did you think you were going to do?
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry. I was, I was going… I just wanted to show you the face of truth. I just wanted, I mean, ah, I mean sure I could...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting again] I mean I don’t think it’s much of an impression. I think you ARE like that.
 '''Chris:''' No. I, I’m serious!
 '''Kacey:''' You’re sad because he’s cuter
 '''Chris:''' I would not, I would not
 '''Kacey:''' He’s more talented...
 '''Chris:''' I would not, I seriously would not
 '''Kacey:''' Would you stop?
 '''Chris:''' I would not ask you do that.
 '''Kacey:''' Excuse me, excuse me. Excuse me.
 '''Chris:''' I seriously would not’ve asked you to do that.
 '''Kacey:''' You do not speak over me. Especially not after what you’ve done. Especially not. After. What. You’ve. Done!
 '''Chris:''' I understand. I understand you got all the nervous tension from the stress and all this shock and everything.
 '''Kacey:''' No! No, I have nervous tension because you decided to play me. And it has, it has nothing to do with what he did now. It has with what you did. You tried to play me and you let me talk to you like that on the phone knowing that you were, I, I should’ve known. I should’ve known. You, you’re terrible! You are so terrible! What, what did you think was going to happen? That I was going to say “Thank you”? “You’re awesome”? “I love you”? You said you loved me and you not… oh my god! You’re a horrible horrible human being, if you’re even a human being.
 '''Chris:''' [interrupting] I, I’m sorry, I know that I cannot say that I love you. I know, I never, I mean, I never even wanted to say I love you but you forced me to say I love you. A few times.
 '''Kacey:''' I didn’t force you to do anything! I didn’t force you to do anything. Remember that I thought you were MY Chris.
 '''Kacey:''' I thought you were my Chris. So why wouldn’t he tell me that he loved me?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, you thought I was Jeff. His name is Jeff.
 '''Kacey:''' No, his name is Chris.
 '''Chris:''' …egh… take another look at his driver’s license, but, ah seriously though, I had, I mean, I was, I had to uh, let you know I was trying, I mean, I was, I mean I thought I’d give you a chance to get to know me per, on my own personal level.
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Woah, woah, woah, woah. You think I’m still going to get to know you? You, you what?
 '''Chris:''' No, no I mean…
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Listen, if I told you right off you woulda thought then like, “oh my God, a troll got into his account" and that he was the real Chris.
 '''Kacey:''' Well then don’t you think you should’ve done that first.
 '''Chris:''' I’ve been trying to get back my own identity that he stole from me.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, he stole your identity huh? Well maybe if you didn’t post it all over the fucking internet he wouldn’t have been able to have it. You ever think of that?
 '''Chris:''' I mean, all he had, sure. All he needed was Christian Weston Chandler, the Christopher and Ricardo was not optional.
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] None of those, none of those, none of those are very, uh, exotic names. You don’t think that he couldn’t have the same name by, you know, coincidence? I mean a lot of people are named Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I can understand that but still he’s not the, I mean but I can tell you that he is not the Christian Weston Chandler if that is his real name...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, he's not you, but you're showing me who Christian Weston Chandler is and he's just a fat fuck who doesn't care about me, who doesn't care about anyone's feelings, I mean... just, and, and what! You were getting me to spy on your own friend! You were getting me to spy on your own friend [[Kim]]! And what the hell? And you were saying how she might like you or whatever. What about that? What happened to, you know what, I'm talking to Kim, what happens if I tell Kim?
[pause]
 '''Kacey:''' Would you [stops short]
 '''Chris:''' [heavy sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' I don't think she's going to like that.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah...
 '''Kacey:''' 'Cause I know I don't.
 '''Chris:''' I can imagine, yeah, I can just imagine, yeah, she wouldn't like that at all. Even I don't like it.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ah, she has a boyfriend too, right? What happens if her boyfriend finds out? 'Cause he's going to. He is going to.
 '''Chris:''' [sigh]
 '''Kacey:''' You're just a big chunky fuck!
 '''Chris:''' I have, I have had, I've had, I've had a lot of emotional traumas in my life time, in the past with women. I mean I've even lost some over the internet.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! I wonder why, I wonder why you have. I mean, if you treat them like this... Yeah, you know what? Now wonder you-
 [a lot of unintelligible arguing over each other occurs here, the most made out is Kacey saying "Don't you talk over me!"]
 '''Chris:''' They got killed! They died!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, probably 'cause they wanted to get away from you!
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' But you do not talk over me like that!
 '''Chris:''' Like Sarah Jackson died in an automobile accident. I'm serious, her sister told me that. Sarah Cassandra McKenzie slash PandaHalo died in a brush fire.
 '''Kacey:''' What? Like I, like I believe anything that you, like I can believe you. Like I can totally believe you. And you know what? You know what? It doesn't even matter, 'cause you know what? I don't care. I don't care if he's not the Sonichu creator. I don't care who he is, I love him. And he's been there for me and you will never ever be him. He can at least play guitar, he can at least sing to me, he's been the one with me, you haven't. The fff, the only time I've had with you is you trying to trick me and get me in bed. What the fuck? What the fuck? You even lied to me about going to college.
 '''Chris:''' ...uh, yeah, but...
 '''Kacey:''' It must be hard to hear, 'cause you know what, you don't even sound like him.
 '''Chris:''' I, I, I, uh, I understand and respect your decision. You are welcome to stay with him, but you still you had to know that, uh, still
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Oh, I'm welcome to stay with him if I get your permission? I get your permission? I get your permission to stay with my own boyfriend? Where? Where are you coming off?
 '''Chris:''' [starting to yell] No. No, I, I, I, I never, I never said that, I never meant it like that.
 '''Kacey:''' Yes you did, you just said that I was welcome to, maybe you should choose your words a little better.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, you're right. I sometimes have a bad choice, sometimes I go melt when choose my own words. I am, I mean, it's a part of my, part of the real life autism is sometimes.
 '''Kacey:''' Is this why no girl [realizes that Chris is blaming his autism] Don't you blame that, don't you blame that! Are you serious? Are you serious? Do you not know how many autistic children I've worked with? And you know, they don't do that. They don't fucking do that. You know what, I don't even think you have autism. I think you have something else. I think you have something that just makes you so... narcissistic that's just so, you're so full of yourself. I mean, that's not autism. What the hell is wrong with you?
 '''Chris:''' Actually yeah, that is a piece of autism.
 '''Kacey:''' No. No its not.
 '''Chris:''' Being socially inept.
 '''Kacey:''' And I guarantell, I can guarantee you that I know more about this shit than you. You know what, prove it. Prove it. Go ahead. Because I don't believe you. You ever ever ever want a chance with me, you need to choo- you need to prove that. [pause] Because you are not text book case.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you're right, I am not text book case. I'm uh, definitely uh, not text book case.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I think you need to [Chris cuts her off]
 '''Chris:''' Beyond that, uh... yeah, well, I got all the papers here at the home, my father has them in the filing cabinet. It not like, it's not like
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Fine then, I want to see them. I want to see them. Send them to me like you sent those pictures. Show them in a video. Right now.
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe I'll forgive you.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I can't do it right now, because, I uh...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you're going to have to.
 '''Chris:''' My fath- My father has
 '''Kacey:''' [talking over Chris] You're going to have to or else I'm going to tell Kim. I'm going to tell Kim.
 '''Chris:''' My father, my, my father is asleep! An he hanna, [Chris stops and starts several words here, but keeps talking] and the filing cabinet is locked. And it's like he has to go through every single file in the filing cabinet to find the one document.
 '''Kacey:''' Well I guess I'm not that important, now am I? And neither is Kim. I think if you could
 '''Chris:''' [interrupting] Now, now, if, IF! Ah, after he's awake I can ask him if I can see it and then if I...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Please, you're 27, you're 27, you can't do it?
 '''Chris:''' if I can... and then, and then, and then if I, and then after I get it [Kacey stifles a laugh] I'll, I'll uh, I'll take it, I'll scan it or take a picture of it, I'm not sure I'll be able to scan it because my scanner/copier/printer is out of order.
 '''Kacey:''' You better find a way. You better find a fucking way. Because, you're, you're fucking smart, right? I mean, I guess, you fooled me. So... [scoffs]
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' I'm not always so smart.
 '''Kacey:''' No, your behavior is inexcusable and has nothing to do with being smart or stupid. It has to do with being you.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Hmm. Well.
 '''Kacey:''' And you know what? The best part is, you're not going to learn from this are you? You're just going to keep doing this shit to people like poor Kim, or poor Megan or any of this crap.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' [sigh] Actually, for your information, Kim already has a boyfriend and I respect her space very much.
 '''Kacey:''' So, so, so that makes it better that you want me to spy on her to see if she likes you and all that stuff?
 '''Chris:''' She, n-no, she can tell you the same, she can tell you the actual kind of person she, uh, learned from me from multiple conversations.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh no, I think, I think she's going to know something different. I think she's going to know something different, 'cause you're fucking disgusting me and I know you're going to disgust her. This is-
 '''Chris:''' [interrupting] Actually it's not, actually it's not going to surprise her. She's actually pretty much figured this out on her own and we discussed this.
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, would you, would you stop insulting me? No, no, seriously, I think that you need to prove it to both of us, because you know what, I'm sick of this. I mean you want, you know you're going to lean on your autism so much and everything, you need to prove it. You need to fucking prove it to me, and I think you owe me after what you put me through the last couple days. I think you fucking owe me.
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' I'll do, I'll, I'll do anything. I'll, uh, get the paper...
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] You better do it, you better do it.
 '''Chris:''' I'll get the paper, I'll take, I'll, uh, get, I'll make it into a picture file and I'll e-mail it to you personally.
 '''Kacey:''' You better. 'Cause I swear to God, you, you better not be lying to me. 'Cause remember, I'm not too far away. And I would be very, very happy to tell the authorities about what you did. 'Cause remember, you were still doing identity theft too, of him, and you were leading me on. And I mean, I, just, erg, thank God I wasn't there.
 '''Chris:''' No! He was the one that did identity theft against... Oh, okay yeah
 '''Kacey:''' Fine! Fine, whatever, I was ju-
 '''Chris:''' Ok, for the... I'm sorry, I take that back...granted, for the past few days I've been pretending to be him, but I never said- I never called myself Jeff. That's his real name though.
 '''Kacey:''' His name is not Jeff, but you know what, the thing is... all you are doing is following the Autism part, and I can tell you’ve done it before. That does not excuse any of this shit. You prove it to me tomorrow.
 '''Chris:''' You’re right… all right, I’ll prove it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' Good, because I mean, this is just ridiculous. I mean... You we- you were hacking and hacking is frowned upon. You are no better than trolls you think troll you.
 '''Chris:''' [deep sigh] Yeah, hmmm... Uh, Y-You know... all- I
 '''Kacey:''' No, you don’t even have an excuse do you, you don’t have an excuse at all.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not asking for an excuse. I was going to ask you-
 '''Kacey:''' No, you are giving me excuses.
 '''Chris:''' I was going to ask you for a fav- for a...
 '''Kacey:''' For a favor?! You want me to give you a favor? After all this?
 '''Chris:''' STOP! Stop. It-It’s not THAT kind, it’s not that kind of favor! Please listen.
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] I didn’t say it was that kind of favor-
 '''Chris:''' I just want you to talk to this, to this… Christian Weston Chandler in brown stripes... Or Jeff, whatever his name is. I just want you to encourage him-
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] GOD, Just shut the fuck up!
 '''Chris:''' -To fess up. He’s not the real original creator-
 '''Kacey:''' [talking over Chris] It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter about him. Shut the fuck up!
 '''Chris:''' -To give me back my own identity
 '''Kacey:''' Shut up! Seriously, it has nothing to do with him right now. This is between you and me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, this is between you and me. But I’m just asking you to encourage him to, uh, to reveal himself.
 '''Kacey:''' W-Who would want your identity now? Oh my God, When I tell him about this, do you think he’s going to care? Let’s say you are right, do you think he’s going to care anymore? You have sullied the name of Christian Weston Chandler and Sonichu. I mean, think about what you did… forever. For-ev-er.
 '''Chris:''' [stuttering noises]
 '''Kacey:''' Is this the way you want people to remember you?
 '''Chris:''' No it's not.
 '''Kacey:''' Then why did you do it?
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to improve myself. I've learned-
 '''Kacey:''' Well you know what? You can start by showing me those documents. That’s how you can start.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. I’ll get the documents and I’ll show them to you.
 '''Kacey:''' You better.
 '''Chris:''' I will. [pause] Again, I’m sorry, to have put you through all that.
 '''Kacey:''' [takes a deep breath]
 '''Chris:''' Take some deep breaths, stay safe…
 '''Kacey:''' You know what?
 '''Chris:''' Try to keep a happy thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Happy thought?! [chuckle] Fuck you. You’re talking to me about happy thoughts. I mean, you don’t even sound like… GOD, I just can’t do it. I can’t do it. Just, do it tomorrow. Just- UGH!!
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' I understand. [sigh, then talks in a whisper] I’m sorry. [pause, sigh] I’ll talk to you later. Stay safe, take care.

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 2]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 4]]}}

==External links==
*<s>mp3 of phonecall</s> File not found and video removed from YouTube. Please re-upload and re-link ASAP.
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]