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Mumble 4

2017-12-31T05:53:31Z

FeeltheCosmos: Corrected the sentence about the nest egg transcribed wrongly

The fourth of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]] on 6 [[February 2009]].

Length: '''48:34'''

==Summary==
* Chris is uploading the [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|second gay video]].
* Chris and [[Clyde]] play tic-tac-toe.
* Chris explains why he didn't go to [[Miyamoto]].
* Clyde asks why Chris has spent over $1000 on [[PSN]]. Chris tries to label $1000 as an obvious exaggeration, a [[lie]] that Clyde calls him out on. Chris guesses that he's spent $10000 on games over the past 9 years, but claims to be recovering from his spending problem.
* [[Julie]] says she'd stay with Chris even if he becomes homeless. Chris, on the other hand, seems content to leech off of his family.
* Clyde asks Chris to name 5 bills associated with the house. Chris's can't.
* "If anything" says Chris "I'm overqualified [...] for every type of job available."
* Clyde describes the wild woman he loved, who killed herself.

18:30

* Clyde says Chris doesn't know what love is.
* Chris gets emotional on the subject that [[PandaHalo]] (Sarah) got with Clyde, but less so when Clyde says she might be dead.
* Chris saw the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Just Friends|Just Friends]]''. "Romantic comedies build hope for TRUE romances." Memories build toward love. Without such honest feelings, it's as meaningless as sex with a prostitute.

25:30

* Chris denies just wanting [[sex]].
* In a woman, Chris looks for a caring personality, strong emotions, a strong will, all-around personality. But definitely not [[niggos|black]]. But he's not racist. "I would care about a black woman as a friend, honestly. But, you know, I would not want it beyond just friendship."

28:10

*Chris does a retarded imitation of a Jamaican racist. He also likens himself to Archie Bunker (from ''All in the Family''), who was intended to be reprehensible bigot.
*The [[Donald Duck impersonation]] scares the shit out of Clyde.

31:20

* Chris justifies giving advice with the quote: "Those who are unable to, teach."
* Chris burps.
* Chris tells Clyde he wants to apologize to [[Vivian]] for not being receptive to her advice.
* The [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|second gay video]] is up.

39:00

* Clyde tells Chris to get rid of his material possessions for Julie. Chris says it'd take him more than 8 hours.
* Chris has read [[R.L.Stine|R.L. Stine]] books, "the one with George and... Lenny?", the Bible, ''The Giver'', Pamela Anderson's ''Star'', ???, another one on the tip of his tongue, and he's reading [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian's book]].
* Clyde gives Chris 3 days to sell or throw away his shit. (The result is [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009]].)

48:00

* The other [[trolls]] jizz all over Clyde.

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Mumble 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|5wD3HiKNXhU}}
| Stardate = 6 [[February 2009]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]], [[Clyde]], [[BlueSpike]], [[Miscreants]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

 '''BlueSpike:''' Alright, so anyway. (?)
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I redid the video. I did not use the word “[[gaybian]]”. I did not use it.
 '''Clyde:''' [interrupts] Let's watch and find out okay?
 '''Chris:''' Well, it's gonna be 'bout a half-hour to an hour
 '''Clyde:''' Let's play a little game. It's called [[Wikipedia:Tic-tac-toe|Tic-tac-toe]]. You know, with the circles and the X's. Okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Clyde:''' I call the middle square. What square do you call?
 '''Chris:''' Mmmm. Upper Left.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, then I call the one right below it.
 '''Chris:''' I call... middle right.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, I'm just messing with you. Let's not play this game. Chris, I have to ask you one- one very important question.
 '''Chris:''' Shoot.
 '''Clyde:''' Ah man, my memory's going. Why... why do you drop women on the...just you know, on the tip of the hat? I mean, you and whatshername, [[PandaHalo|Sarah... Cassandra Mackenzie]]. I-I mean God, You said yourself you were like, really close for months and months.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Clyde:''' And you drop her on the, just drop it right there and you didn't go to [[Nintendo]]. You didn't do anything. Why didn't you do a thing?
 '''Chris:''' Hmmm...Uh... hmm...Well, because I felt uncertain of a lot of details. Like I wasn't totally sure I was talking to the real Mr. MAIyamoto. And plus I didn't have my family's support. And uh I really did not have the money to make the trip.
 '''Clyde:''' You just blew your chance, Chris. You know- you know that whatever you say will be taken as crazy talk but you know I'm already working with uh, [[Reggie]] right? It's not going to happen for quite a few months in fact. But be prepared, be prepared.
 '''Chris:''' For what?
 '''Clyde:''' You know, Rabbichoso. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I bet it'll go straight to $9.99 bin.
 '''Clyde:''' [laughs] Of course, because it's being priced at $9.99. It's not a full-priced game. You know that. You know, it's going to be on like PlayStation Network. Well it's probably not. It's probably just gonna be on Wii Ware. Still good, it'll be just like [[Wikipedia:Cave Story|''Cave Story'']]. You ever play ''Cave Story''?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Clyde:''' Do you play any good games? I mean, Christ. You spent over $1,000 on the PlayStation Network...why would you spend so much [[money]]?
 '''Chris:''' I play a lot of good [[games]].
 '''Clyde:''' N-never mind about the good games part, that's irrelevant bullshit. Why would you spend over $1,000 on the PlayStation network?
 '''Chris:''' How do you know I spent over $1,000 on the PlayStation Network? Because that could be an obvious exaggeration right there.
 '''Clyde:''' It's not an obvious exaggeration.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I have your records detailing your intimate history from March [[2007|'07]] to [[January 2009|January '09]] of every single purchase you ever made. I calculated it. It's over $1,000.
 '''Chris:''' You don't have-You don't even have to track the history you could just go to my download list and then figure out which ones are demos-
 '''Clyde:''' Exactly, it's been over $1,000 Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Alright fine, woopty freakin' doo, $1,000. But it's only a little bit at a time over a long period of time.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, you don't know anything about saving money. How much have you spent on games?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... well I spend a lot.
 '''Clyde:''' How much do you think you spent over the last nine years?
 '''Chris:''' Nine... well, yup. Mmmm...I'd say estimate, uh, taking a rough guess here. Fine, $10,000. I'm just taking a guess.
 '''Clyde:''' Ugh, Christ, man. If you can't afford the money then you can't afford to save anything for your future; for [[Daughter|your future children]]; for [[Lovely Weather|your future wife]]. You don't think about the future do you? You just think about now; you just think about what you want now; what you want-
 '''Chris:''' Fine well I'm not- well, I'll admit I'm not- I wasn't very good at money, I was compulsive on spending.
 '''Clyde:''' You still are.
 '''Chris:''' I'm recovering. Hey at least I'm not that far gone to admit it that I have a problem with spending and I admit the problem, that's the first step to recovery.
 '''Clyde:''' That's far from the first step, you have to do something.
 '''Chris:''' I am, I'm taking initiative to save.
 '''Clyde:''' And how much have you saved?
 '''Chris:''' Ugh, well I have bills to- I have credit card bills to pay!
 '''Clyde:''' For the past five years, I've been working on a little egg to save money. I spent- I've dipped into it a bit. This is- ain't, from my parents inheritance, this is all of on my own. I got 15,000 saved Chris, for the past five years Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Well good for you, I praise you for that.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm saying you can't even save $100. What makes you think you can support a family?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' [[Julie]], why would you want to be with this man? He can't support a family, he can't support you!
 '''Julie:''' Because I love him.
 '''Chris:''' Not right away- but, but give me time.
 '''Julie:''' Because I truly love him.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. The power of love and God- and God- and power of prayer and God's help and enough time, it can work.
 '''Clyde:''' And what will you do if you're homeless? What will you do?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, homeless. That diff- that's a tough one. Well, there's a thing called family. I have good people in my family.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, are you going to take this? You're going to accept living without a home? Really?
 '''Julie:''' If it's with Chris, yes.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh my god, you two are going to die faster than I can say autistic. Christ! You- I can't believe it. You would accept being homeless.
 '''Julie:''' Yes, I would.
 '''Clyde:''' Enjoy your death, enjoy your death.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, you don't know what-
 '''Julie:''' Chris will never be homeless.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah and besides- besides Clyde, you don't know- you don't know what kind of lifestyle Julie had to gre-grew up with. I mean she came from a poor country.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Interrupts]'' And this is what you're going to treat her to, is the same-the same old life she had before. That's very gentlemen-like Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Now I'm gonna tr- I'm gonna do my best to try to give her a mor- a much more comfortable life, I'll do my best.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, when your parents die, what's gonna happen to your house, what's going to happen?
 '''Chris:''' You're asking me when my parents die, what's going to happen to my house?
 '''Clyde:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' [[Slow in the mind|Well, I assume the house is still gonna be on the land it was built upon.]]
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, so it's not yours anymore, interesting. Interesting.
 '''Chris:''' Well actually they're leaving it to me. So there.
 '''Clyde:''' So you've got a house, that's decent. Tell me, name five bills associated with, you know, maintaining the house. Can you even name five?
 '''Chris:''' Five bills associated with maintaining the house. Alright, there's the electricity, the water...abuhbuhbuhbuhbuh ''[muttering]''... food, clothing-
 '''Clyde:''' Food and clothing are not part of the house. That's part of the, you know, daily life. I'm talking about the actual house.
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' Okay, there's, uh, hardware like-
 '''Clyde:''' What hardware? For what?
 '''Chris:''' Like for roofing. For one thing
 '''Clyde:''' Do your parents even own the house?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, they own the house.
 '''Clyde:''' Do they have a mortgage on it? What, anything?
 '''Chris:''' They do not have a mortgage on it.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, so they own the house. Legally. Interesting. Well, you got one thing going for you, you at least have a house. But I don't know, man if you can actually survive in it.
 '''Chris:''' Tsk-tsk. You are so quick to under- to undermine a person. And underestimate them.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm not being quick to undermine a person. I'm thinking of what a family man should do, okay?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sudden awful ''[[Family Guy]]'' impersonation]'' Hey listen, Peter Griffin, he's a family guy and he's retarded and yet look at his life! ''[Voice deepens into what is probably a horrible [[Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] impersonation]'' Homer Simpson D'oh!
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Disbelieving]'' That's a cartoon. That's not real life. Not-not even the closest.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah but it's based on the real life associated with the people who created them.
 '''Clyde:''' No it's not! You think Matt Groening's life is like Homer's life? Of course not!
 '''Chris:''' ''[More awful Homer Simpson impersonation]'' Well I don't know if it's close my life, but I feel like it's close enough to be with my own life! And nobody better lay a finger on my son's [[Wikipedia:Butterfinger|Butterfinger]]! D'oh!
 '''Clyde:''' What?! [softly] Oh-Chri- So are you saying that ''The Simpsons'' is exactly like real life?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not saying that necessarily, but if they can survive it in their own way, then I feel I can survive it in my own way- at my own pace. And that uh- with the power of prayer, and God by my side, and my sw- and my [[sweetheart]], things will work out.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you something. Things don't magically “work out.” Things don't work that way. The real world does not work that way.
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to do the heavy work, and all the work associated with all that.
 '''Clyde:''' Now now, I know you said you're going to be a house husband? Right?
 '''Chris:''' That or I can go out and get a job.
 '''Clyde:''' And what kind of job can you get? What do you qualify for?
 '''Chris:''' If anything I'm overqualified!
 '''Clyde:''' For what?!
 '''Chris:''' Every- every type of job available!
 '''Clyde:''' You think you can be the CEO of a company?
 '''Chris:''' Hey, put me behind a desk and tell me what to do and I'll do it!
 '''Clyde:''' The thing is a CEO ''tells'' people what to do. If you need something be told then you are not qualified to do that job.
 '''Chris:''' I don't have to be- hey. I just need- hey if I am the one that needs to be telling everybody what to do then I have to find out what the company is about, and all things associated with the company, or whatever I'm the CEO of, and then I will give real thought, sound decisions and direction.
 '''Clyde:''' What kind of job can you get within your degrees? What will your degrees get you?
 '''Chris:''' If anything, like a job [[Bob|my father]] had working at [[Wikipedia:General Electric|General Electric]]. Like for example he designed the controls for the plastic molding machines, so, without him, you would not have the plastic for your keyboard.
 '''Clyde:''' Okay, so you think you can design some... something I don't know whatever you just said.
 '''Chris:''' Hey without him you would not even have anything as simple as a plastic-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Interrupts]'' I'm talking about you, I'm not talking about your dad. I'm talking about you.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm talking about ''you''. What can you do?
 '''Chris:''' I can do anything I am capable of, if I set my mind to
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Exasperated]'' I am asking you what you are capable of!
 '''Chris:''' I'm capable of a lot of things!
 '''Clyde:''' I'm telling you to be specific!
 '''Chris:''' I'm creative.
 '''Clyde:''' God. You said you had that CADD degree, and you- and I asked you to send that, I want to see what you-
 '''Chris:''' It takes- It takes creativity to create such things like I did in the [[CADD]] classes.
 '''Clyde:''' Your CADD degree, right? You had [[CWCville Mall|that mall]]? I want to see this mall, I want to see if you're actually qualified. I want to see if you're actually qualified to get a job.
 '''Chris:''' You want to see it, huh? Alright, give me a moment, I'll write the email for ya.
 '''Clyde:''' You know my email. [[Gregg Mays]] with the G's.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I'm gonna send it to you from my Gmail address because it's a big file.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright. If it's a big file it's probably better, isn't it?
 '''Chris:''' Well that depends on your perception.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughs]'' Never mind. I'd love to see this though. Looking forwards to it.
 ''[Intermittent background noise]''
 '''Chris:''' On its way. Right now.
 '''Clyde:''' Good. I'm looking forwards to seeing it. I wanna see.
 '''Julie:''' Hey Chris.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, you wanna see something?
 '''Julie:''' No, not really.
 '''Clyde:''' This is the man that's also gonna be your future husband. I'm just saying. You always have a chance to back out now.
 '''Julie:''' I would never. I would never.
 '''Clyde:''' Come on Julie, you don't want to do this. You don't want to do this. I beg of you. You don't want to be with this man. You don't.
 '''Chris:''' Julie, I care about you. I care about you very much.
 '''Julie:''' Chris is right. I do want to be with him.
 '''Clyde:''' You can give as much love. You can say all those empty “I love yous” over and over. Let me tell you something.
 '''Chris:''' When it comes from the heart, they are not empty. And every time I say I love you I have my heart behind me.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughs]'' Every time you say “I love you”! You say “I love you” to every woman that walks down the street! [mockingly] You said that to [[Megan]], you said that to [[PandaHalo|Sarah]], you say that to all those people!
 '''Chris:''' I- we- Because I was very close to each of those women! And I always meant it from my heart!
 '''Clyde:''' Whoa, you're going out with multiple women at once? That's a little- ehh, you know, you're treading some dangerous ground there.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, I can't help it if they all moved on with their lives. They didn't- couldn't stick around. That doesn't mean I'm not- I'm gonna hold it against them. I still care about them individually. I mean that, from my heart. Just like I care about Julie right now. Very much.
 '''Clyde:''' You don't know what love is, do you Chris?
 '''Chris:''' I know that love takes a lot of hard work and deep emotions. Obviously a lot more than you are capable of feeling, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you about the girl I loved.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Clyde:''' She was a wild one. She did shit that most women never do. She was a wild one. Did sports, dropped out of school, did drugs. She killed herself. Still don't get over that.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry to hear that.
 '''Clyde:''' Let me tell you something. Tell you something. You still don't know what love is. You move on from woman to woman. If one is out of your reach, you just move on to the next one. You ditched the prospect of [[Sarah Hammer]] just for Megan and ''[Microphone cuts out]''.
 '''Chris:''' I- did not ditch her. I mean I tell ya. I was so hurting in my heart and my soul that I had to lose her to you. Really hurt me. It wasn't an immediate decision for me to move on. I had to make myself emotionally stable. ''[Starts stammering]'' And build up the- and build up so much in my head sorting all the details out at my own pace. It was hard. Very hard. ''[Sigh]'' But then I have- but then I have to realize I have like- I mean besides I haven't heard from Sarah in a long time. I could- I didn't even know what- I couldn't- I guess I just never really knew from her point of view. I mean I had to hear it from- I have to hear it from her own mouth that she is going to be with you. But I never heard so ''[voice cracks]'' heartbreak.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright I'll tell you the truth. Ever since the move, I haven't heard from her either. I fear she might be dead.
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' I see.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't know where she is or what she's doing. She hasn't responded to me either. I had some nice pictures, I announced the wedding, but, ahh it's... I dunno. It's all gone. At least for now. She's supposedly in America right now, you know that, right? Could she be searching for you? ''[Laughs]'' I doubt it.
 '''Chris:''' Well I don't know. Can't say for sure, because yes, I have not heard from her.
 '''Clyde:''' Looks like she's probably moved on from both of us. I don't know what's going to happen to my child. [''sighs''] [''inaudible''] Now, I just want to ask you a few questions about- about your past life. You know there's this, You know there's this person called [[Wes Iseli]]? You seen- you know he's on youtube? He's married now, you know that?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry. Could you repeat his name please?
 '''Clyde:''' Wes Iseli, you know, the magician?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Wes EYES-LEE.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't know how to pronounce it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah well, okay- yeah, okay, so he's married. Is that what you just said?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, he's married now. Not to whatever-her-face was but, he's married, he's still successful and he's doing charity work. He's a very impressive man.
 '''Chris:''' Well, good for him.
 '''Clyde:''' How could you hate a man like that?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' I was jealous. Jealousy got the best of me then.
 '''Clyde:''' But what made you think that Sarah wanted you in any way?
 '''Chris:''' She and I were childhood friends.
 '''Clyde:''' Is that it?
 '''Chris:''' We were very close. She was my- we were literally next door neighbors.
 '''Clyde:''' Then welcome to the friendzone! Where you'll be friends forever and never be anything beyond that.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, I saw the movie [[Wikipedia:Just Friends|''Just Friends'']].
 '''Clyde:''' You know romantic comedies are just... bullshit.
 '''Chris:''' Romantic comedies build hope for true romances. And they build up for stronger romances. Though, I think I have a good general understanding of how to keep a romance true and strong.
 '''Clyde:''' No you don't. All you know is what's on TV and what's on movies and whatever. And they're lies, Chris, those are lies. And they've influenced you to a point where you just believe romance is saying "I love you" over and over and over. Like you're fated to be with a lover or something.
 '''Chris:''' I- it- it- it's a lot more than just saying I love you over and over again. It's a lot more than that. It's about building so many memories with the woma- with the person the- uh- person of the opposite gender that you truly love and care about. Growing fond memories, being close together. So many priceless- priceless. So close.
 '''Clyde:''' Memories. That- that's not what love is about.
 '''Chris:''' And those- Those memories build towards the true love. And honest- in the honest emotions that have to occur during that relationship. Because without the emo- because without the true love and honest emotions, it's just about as meaningless as sex with a prostitute.
 '''Clyde:''' Why don't you do that? I mean, come on man.
 '''Chris:''' Because I desire meaning. I take it to heart.
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I mean, [[Fuck Quest|all you want is sex]]. It's pointless to argue.
 '''Chris:''' You're wrong! You are absolutely wrong! I don't just want sex! I want the true honest relationship that goes along with that. If I just wanted sex I would have [[Mia Hamm|hired a prostitute]] and gotten an STD years ago.
 '''Clyde:''' So you have an STD. Interesting.
 '''Chris:''' No. I said I would have hired a prostitute and got an STD. I do not have an STD.
 '''Clyde:''' And it looks like you'll never get one for your entire life. I mean, what do you look for in a woman.
 '''Chris:''' I look for ten- I look for caring personality, and strong emotions, strong willed. All around personality. Woman who will be good to me. And is not afraid to uh- to uh things to uh, to keep the relationship strong and alive, But also- Hmmm. Somebody also this woman who will just love me for me. And I will love her mutually. Her for her. And for who she is, and she love me for who I am.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh come on! I saw that, whatever you, that one myspace thing, you say you're looking for, blonde woman, not black, not a policewoman, not autistic, you know, under some weight. Come on man!
 '''Chris:''' So I was a bit more picky back then! And plus I wasn't, plus I wasn't sure if all the total details. I mean- I mean I've learned! That it gets more beyond the physical attributes. But still, call me [[Chris and race|old-fashioned]] but, I'd rather be- I would not- I'd uh- I'd definitely wouldn't uh... '''[[Niggos|NOT BLACK.''' Not black]]. Uh, I mean every other- all the other races would just like a majority... out of the whole bunch of races- [[Chris and race|I'm not being racist here]], Julie.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[In disbelieving shock]'' How is that not racist?! Come on! You blatantly said "not black!" Not black, come on.
 '''Chris:''' I mean, I am willing to have- I mean I would care- I would care about a black woman as a friend. Honestly. But you know, not b- I would not want beyond just friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' You still have a lot to learn. That's about looks. Not about personality. You're still being racist.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sudden '''amazingly racist''' imitation of a Jamaican person]'' Hey don't you play for me no fool man.
 '''Clyde:''' What... What was that?
 '''Chris:''' You figure it out.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't- I have no comment on- what was that?!
 '''Chris:''' ''[more racist imitation]'' Oh that is the imitation of a black person or somebody from Jamaica!
 '''Clyde:''' You- you do know those are different- oh Christ almighty! So you are racist, my god.
 '''Chris:''' ''[More ear rape]'' Hey well if it fits Archie Bunker's shoes then let it be! But I am not totally racist man. ''[Normal voice]'' I am not racist.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Laughing]'' Then what was that?! What was that?
 '''Chris:''' You just- I uh- you just threw a label at me so I just imitated someone who actually was.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh my Christ. Christ almighty. I don't know what to say to that. You know what you should do
 '''Chris:''' ''[Still more ear rape]'' [[South Park|Respect mah authoriTAH!]]
 '''Clyde:''' Why don't you do a [[Donald Duck impersonation]]?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Still more ear rape]'' (''Inaudible Donald Duck impression'') ... after I do a Donald Duck imitation.
 '''Clyde:''' Why do you enjoy scaring me like this?
 '''Chris:''' Well... mmm... I did not mean to scare you. I was just being entertaining.
 '''Clyde:''' That was frightening.
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to lighten up the conversation. hey, if uh, if an imitation is imitatable [''sic''], then it's- it's okay then. Oh wait wait. Okay, imiatable to a certain point.
 '''Clyde:''' I...oh my God, I'm shaking. What was that voice? Th- that was hell...
 '''Chris:''' You asked me to do Donald Duck. ''[In Donald Duck voice]'' That was Donald Duck.
 '''Clyde:''' I know that's Donald Duck but my God, you put an end to that madness before it blows up on my childhood and my mind.
 '''Chris:''' Mm...I see. Well I feel for you there.
 '''Clyde:''' I gotta ask you something. I mean, for someone was has never gotten laid or have an actual girlfriend, you still seem to give advice.
 '''Chris:''' It's just- it's like, uh- the stereotype of how anybody would describe any teacher. Those who are unable to, teach.
 [Incoherent interrupting]
 '''Clyde:''' You don't become a math teacher not knowing how to do math. What makes you want to go off about what you should do or what
 '''Chris:''' ''[Burps]'' 'xcuse me. Mm. I figured good sound advice from personal experiences on when I try- when I tried to find myself- a woman to make a sweetheart from the ground up.
 '''Clyde:''' A-and what do you mean by that? From the ground up? Are- what does that mean?
 '''Chris:''' Starting with friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' It sounds like you want to ground up a woman; it sounds like a serial killer to me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, m-maybe it was a bad choice of words I was going with for a long time. But I meant starting from friendship.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, you've been doing a lot of stupid things, and no one has corrected you. What kind of friends do you have?
 '''Chris:''' I have friends who care about me.
 '''Clyde:''' They didn't care about you enough to help you. Christ, I'm probably the closest friend you've got! I'm trying to help you!
 '''Chris:''' Mm. ''[pause]'' I hear you there. You said you were, uh, Vivian Gee's cousin?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah. ''[pause]'' I've been working with her on Rabbichoso, I mean, I've never been close to her, not much. She introduced Ryan to Sonichu. I still hold a bit of a grudge against her. But we're working on Rabbichoso together and I guess it's ''[unclear]''
 '''Chris:''' ''Sigh.'' ''[pause]'' Anyway, tell Vivian I'm sorry, I, uh, pushed her away, and her, and her sharing her advice with me. I was- I was not very receptive. I'm sorry.
 '''Clyde:''' That's- that's probably one of the most honest things I've heard you say so far. I'm surprised. ''[pause]'' But that doesn't make up for everything you've done. You've gotta take some action, man. If you don't take action, then your words are meaningless.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did take action. By the way, uh, video should be processed by now.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, let me take a look at it...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. It live.
 ''(Clyde watches "[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]")
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Sigh]'' Alright, I won't cut off an arm or anything. Maybe a few fingers, but that's about it.
 '''Chris:''' No. You leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something but Chris's video is still playing over the top of him]''
 '''Chris:''' Look, I did-
 '''Clyde:''' It looks like the same video to me, what the hell!
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' Well, at least I did not say "gaybian".
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Pause]'' My god, you must be a really angry man. You just just... God, what IS in your room? Christ Almighty. You have so much stuff in your room, why don't you sell that? ''[Chris's video plays over the top of him, Clyde is hard to hear]'' There is no reason a man should have so many My Little Ponies and action figures and video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well. I have no response.
 '''Clyde:''' Julie, you there? Wouldn't you like to see what Chris has in his room there, all his "mature" stuff? Like My Little Ponies? ''[laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' Look, anyway- Look anyway, I did the uh, video, I said... I said "gayyyy". Will you leave her alone?
 '''Clyde:''' To be honest, I don't feel like leaving her alone. I just came all this way... Not to see the action coming, I mean, it's a waste of money if I don't do anything.
 '''Chris:''' Look... I called- Look. I listen- I... I've been very patient with you. I gave you honest... answers. I gave you some opening... I listened to you openly. I did what you asked me to do. So, please... Oh yeah, and I apologized. For clo- For shutting you and Vivian out before. So, please, leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' You know what? No one's gonna believe those videos, everyone's gonna think you're straight, you've been doing that for way too long. Alright, one more request, and I'll think you'll enjoy doing this one... I want you to destroy every possession that you'd love to give up for Julie. That will show your dedication for Julie.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' Material goods is nothing you need to hold on to in this mortal world. And you have TONS of stuff. "It is only when you lose everything, is when you're free to do anything."
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' I will give that consideration.
 '''Clyde:''' If you have that up in the next eight hours, I'll leave. I'll leave for good. Everything that you would give up, and it better be a lot of stuff, because you have so much goddamn stuff. Go ahead, sell it all, make tons of money. And then you'll be able to support Julie. And that is enough for me.
 '''Chris:''' Well... In order for me to sort through all that it's gonna take a lot more than eight hours.
 '''Clyde:''' My God, you really do have a lot of things, don't you? I mean, how much of that stuff do you actually use?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Pause]'' The vast majority of it.
 '''Clyde:''' You really use all that... My Little Ponies all the time, the... cards, and the... I don't know what else. You gotta show Julie you goddamn care about her.
 '''Chris:''' It's-
 '''Clyde:''' Sell you shit or destroy your shit, just... do something, make your room look presentable, I mean, Christ Almighty. You still look like a child!
 '''Chris:''' I'm young at heart.
 '''Clyde:''' Everybody has to grow up. Have you ever read ''Catcher in the Rye''?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, no, why'd I ask, you haven't read any book, have you?
 '''Chris:''' I've read- I've read a whole buncha [[R.L. Stine|R.L. Stine]] books. I've read... ah shoot, that one with George and... what's his n- Lenny? Uh... ''Of Mice and Men''.
 '''Clyde:''' You haven't read a serious piece of literature. Have you even read the Bible?
 '''Chris:''' I have read the Bible. And I have read-
 '''Clyde:''' I guess you haven't read one book that's of any merit.
 '''Chris:''' I have READ ''Of Mice and Men''. I have read-
 '''Clyde:''' I said "of merit". Of merit.
 '''Chris:''' I have read ''The Giver''.
 '''Clyde:''' That's ONE book, name at least seven more. No. You can't.
 '''Chris:''' Yes I can.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, go.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... ''[takes deep breath]'' I have read ''The Giver''. I have read ''Of Mice and Men''. I have read... R.L. Stine's ''Goosebumps'', and ''Fear Street''-
 '''Clyde:''' I said have you read a serious book, that is NOT a serious piece of literature.
 '''Chris:''' Well, among the genre, I just threw in two more as individual... books, so, so far, I gave you four.
 '''Clyde:''' ...Alright, that's four.
 '''Chris:''' Alright... Britney Spears- No, no, I'm sorry. Pamela Anderson's ''Star''. That's five. I'd include that. ''[Names another book, sounds like "Bobbitt's Town", I don't know]'' And um, I know I got another one on the tip of my tongue... Give me a moment... ''[Breathes deeply]'' And I'm reading Vivian's book.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright... I'll let that go, because I've read that book too, and I think it's a fantastic piece of literature.
 '''Chris:''' The majority of-
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, here's the deal. Because you have so much stuff, I hope to see tons of that in garbage bags, for sale, at a garage sale. I want to see you at least make a thousand dollars, with all that stuff you can sell. Or, destroy all the stuff, either you destroy it, or make a thousand dollars, that's what I want to see.
 '''Chris:''' Gonna take a lot of time...
 '''Clyde:''' I'm giving you three days.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Clyde:''' You can either destroy all your stuff to prove yourself to Julie, or you can make money. And I suggest you pick wisely. ''[Pause]'' I'd like to see fire. Fire, fire!
 ''[After a long pause, Chris suddenly yells]''
 '''Chris:''' They did that bit in ''[[Saw|Saw III]]''! Where the guy had to choose between his- between all those toys from his child, or that guy he had... he had that angst against.
 '''Clyde:''' ...I don't know what you're talking about.
 '''Chris:''' ''SAW THREE''.
 '''Clyde:''' What is that?
 '''Chris:''' The movie.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't care about some goddamn movie, okay? I'm asking you... to give up material possessions. Okay, let's see what I have... I got a computer, I got a TV, what else do I got... I've got a printer. Uh, I've got speakers... Man, I've got... a drawing. What else... I really don't got much, to be honest- I got clothes, but everyone needs clothes. You own TOO MUCH shit, Chris. WAY too much. You need to give up some of that, MOST of it, in fact... Give up everything that ISN'T necessary for your survival. And prove to Julie that you are a man... You are a real man, because men don't play with fucking action figures, and... God, I don't know what else you do. Play... card games... It's a children's card game. For children. It's not for 26 year-olds. It's not for 21 year-olds. It's not even for 18 year-olds. I mean, wouldn't you like a nice, empty room, where you and Julie can spend a lot of time together, just thinking? Thinking about the future, thinking about life... I would love a girl who would, you know, just to chat about... whatever goes in the world, and... ride a motorcycle with me. Travel... I would love that.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well listen... I'll go through everything I have and I'll think- I will give it great consideration... Hmmm... Just, please, leave Jul- I prom- Look, I promise. I'll go through everything and I'll deci- and I'll decide for myself... And it's gonna take me quite a bit... definitely quite a bit of time... I'll make out a list... I'll do- I'll list a bunch of it on eBay or... some- yeah, yeah I'll list some of it on eBay. Just, uh, please. Promise me you'll leave Julie alone.
 '''Clyde:''' Alright, I just hope to see a video of you just... tossing most of that stuff away, into a dumpster or something. Because most of that stuff isn't sellable. You don't need it. It's worthless, it's nothing. Mere trinkets, in a land that has so much more to offer.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright...
 '''Clyde:''' I give you three days. I'll see you then.
 '''Chris:''' I see. ''[sigh/grunt]''
 ''[Chris leaves and the trolls talk amongst themselves]''

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 5|Mumble Chat 5]]|}}

==Links==
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBdDRIZkxROEpSUWc Download]
* [http://www.mediafire.com/listen/zkg5wcko2xtni12/Mumble_Chat_4!.wav Download - Full 48 Min Wav File]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

EBay

2017-12-21T22:09:27Z

FeeltheCosmos: He sold the skylander wii

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{lowercase title}}
[[Image:Etc_ebay_bid.PNG|thumb|A small overview of Chris's purchases on eBay.]]
[[Image:Etc_ebay_win.PNG|thumb|Moar.]]
{{quote|Opened package and was attacked by rabid raccoon. DO NOT TRUST THIS SELLER!|Feedback from fallenfromgrace216 on Chris's eBay account}}

'''eBay''' is an online auction site frequented by [[Chris]] since May [[2001]]. He has often purchased and sold stuff there.

==Chris as a buyer==
Chris bought a number of ''[[My Little Pony]]'' action figures from the site. His many eBay purchases helped Chris accumulate a debt of $2,000 on his credit card.

During the [[Megan Saga]], [[Megan]] often got Chris to buy her stuff — pictures of World War II [[CWCville|Wehrmacht]] soldiers, [[anime]] CDs, ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' paraphernalia — from eBay, probably because she didn't have a credit card herself. In an email from 2007, Megan revealed the nature of the transactions, offering to repay Chris with "cash and or unneeded goodies",<ref>[[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007#Another email from the "Seriously Stop Fucking Touching Me" collection]]</ref> though it seems in some cases Chris would buy things as gifts for her.

According to his feedback history as of 31 [[March 2010]], he spent $12.97 on ''[[God of War]] III'' The Forgotten Warrior Skin Code for PS3 and $9.99 for a ''God of War III'' Apollo In Game Skin Code. On 1 September 2010, he spent ''$30'' on a [[ModNation Racers]] Ratchet & Clank Mod. To put that in perspective, he could have bought the PSP version of ''ModNation Racers'' with that money, which he already did.<ref name="cwc ebay feedback">[http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=jesusguidesme2&ftab=AllFeedback&myworld=true eBay Feedback Profile for jesusguidesme2]</ref> The Ratchet & Clank Mod was later released on the [[PSN]] for merely $2.<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/11/09/playstation-store-update-164/ PlayStation Store Update - PlayStation.Blog, 9 Nov 2010]</ref> Most recently, however, Chris purchased a ''Lego Friends'' promotional display stand for $30.<ref name="cwc ebay feedback"/> ''Lego Friends'' is a series of Lego aimed at preteen girls, as evidenced by its general kiddiness and ease of assembly.

After being MIA on eBay for 2 years, he came back in late 2012 as a seller. A new noteworthy feedback was the Skylanders Giants Wii Bundle Pack plus Bonus, which he sold for $165.

Immediately after listing and successfully selling various drawings (including the [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]]) and multiple [[Autographed Photos|autographed photos]] in early July 2014, Chris bought several Lego minifig parts on eBay.<ref name="cwc ebay feedback"/>

In 2015, Chris has shown himself to be an avid consumer of Amiibo, which he buys from eBay scalpers at around $30 a pop. Chris seems to be going for a complete collection of Amiibo. In spite of the implied financial troubles that come with legal difficulties and having your home rebuilt from the Ground-Up, [[trolls]] noted that Chris bought a $30 [[Lego]] minifigure and hundreds of dollars in [[Lego]] sets; the typical spending spree for Chris ends in about $600 of tugboat being forked over to various eBayers in exchange for second-hand toys.

In 2016, Chris switched his interests from Amiibos to Transformers, spending hundreds of dollars on acquiring new figures, despite being neck-deep in the [[Financhu Crisis]].

On 8 September 2016, he spent $62.64 to buy a ''Titans Returns: Optimus Prime'' figure. He left feedback on the item, stating, "It was opened, and it was missing one wheel." Oddly, he still rated the transaction positive<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-644#post-1783606</ref>.

==Chris as a seller==
[[Image:Meat.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' merchandise]]
[[Image:Gibson.jpg|thumb|left|Notice the wonderful pile of dishes. Who wouldn't want to buy something from this house?]]

===Early sales===
Since late [[2008]], when the Chris-Chan phenomenon became more widely known, people used Chris's eBay account as a means to troll him. They would bid on his auction, not pay, and then leave lulzy negative feedback.

Early in [[2009]], Chris tried to stop this form of trolling by changing his eBay name to "[[Chris and religion|jesusguidesme2]]", and deleting information from his account. It didn't work. The account went dormant in [[September 2010]], but became active again around [[August 2012]].

Around [[September 2009]], Chris, in a rare display of monetary wisdom, sold two of his awful [[Gitar of Fail|guitars]]. While not the autistic magnum opus we know as that [[Gitar of Fail]], "[[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|Meatwad's Shredwad]]" shows off Chris's disregard for [[Parody|copyright]] and his fail art in one fell stroke. It's perfectly okay for Chris to sell his crappy fake ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' merch, but none of those slanderous [[trolls]] can do [[Chris and hypocrisy|''the exact same goddamn thing'']] with [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] products. He also sold his Gibson model controller, which was covered in stickers. Someone purchased both controllers for a ridiculous $90.99, plus $6 for shipping.

He also sold a [[Transformers|Bumblebee 2008 Concept Camaro]] claiming that it was unopened, which wasn't true.

In August 2008, Chris auctioned off a pink [[Wikipedia:LeapFrog Enterprises|LeapFrog]] [[Wikipedia:Leapster|Leapster]]. and received $29.99 for it. The Leapster is a handheld "educational" video game system marketed to children ages 4-10. It was released in late [[2003]], which means that Chris was at least ''21'' when he bought it. He may have bought it because there was a [[Sonic the Hedgehog|''Sonic X'']] game available for the system. The game, which involves answering math problems to advance, is appropriate for 5-7 year olds.

On 18 September 2013, Chris returned to eBay and tried to sell the "kre-o micro changers Series 1, 12 piece set complete" collection for $65.

===Bob's Straduarius Violin===
In 2014 Chris used eBay extensively, not only to hock portions of the hoard, but also to sell original artwork, which drew considerable attention from his fans.

The first hint of this uptick in activity was on 28 May, and involved Chris's effort to sell what he listed as a "Straduarius" violin which had belonged to his father. Chris stated that he and his mother desperately needed to sell this family heirloom for some quick cash, even though at the same time Chris was begging his Facebook friends for expensive LEGO sets.

<center><gallery>
File:Ebay violin facebook 22 Jun 2014 - 1.jpg
File:Ebay violin facebook 22 Jun 2014 - 2.jpg
File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 1.jpg
File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 2.jpg
File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 3.jpg
File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 4.jpg
File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 5.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Original Drawings===
[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|"The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]
'''Main article:''' [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]]

On 1 June 2014, Chris listed an [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]], with bids reaching over $10,000 in the first day of listing. Chris offered to frame the drawing and ship it in bubble wrap, but ''"ONLY when the art is Bought Now for the full price"''. The listing was taken down mysteriously the morning after, but then reappeared later that day. Over the span of eight days, Chris attempted to force this piece of "work" to be sold at an exuberant price, only for it to be taken down repeatedly, forcing eBay to temporarily [[List of places that have banned Chris|ban]] him. He finally sold it for $200 on 1 July.

Over the next several months, Chris listed six more drawings of his Sonichu characters, managing to sell at least one.

===Autographed Photos===
{{Main|Autographed Photos}}

On 1 July 2014, Chris listed [[Autographed Photos|autographed photos of himself]] for sale, at a price of $20 each. Chris offered to write personalized messages in addition to his autograph, as long as the requests are "Not Offensive". In the eBay Q&A for the listing, he approved [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 7: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"|"All that is down is only the floor"]] as a message, and indicated that he may possibly wear the [[Medallion of Fail|Sonichu medallion]] for an autographed photo. Indeed, a new photo of himself bedecked in the famous medal was soon on offer. Unfortunately, he stated that his red and blue "The Classic" rugby shirt was lost to [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the January 2014 house fire]], so it would not be available for photos. By 24 July 2014, 58 photos had been sold. He offered more photos for sale in [[June 2015]].

===Commissions===
{{Main|Commissions}}

Also on 1 July, Chris posted listings for [[Commissions|commissioned drawings]], in either black & white ($50), color ($100), or color with frame ($200). By the end of the year, at least 9 color drawings, 10 B&W drawings, and 2 framed drawings had been sold. Prices had also been reduced, and various sales and package deals had been offered.

===Medallions===
{{Main|Medallions}}

In September 2014, Chris began mass-producing his famed [[Sonichu medallion|Sonichu medallions]] on eBay. These proved to be very popular, and many recipients posted their prizes on the CWCki Forums for the world to see. Over 200 had been sold by the summer of 2015. Chris occasionally offered free medallions with the purchase of commissioned drawings or original pieces. A dramatic twist involved his dispute with one "Mr. Smith," whose complaints won him a special "angry eyes" Sonichu medallion.

===Jazz Marathon CDs===
{{Main|WTJU Marathon}}

===Chris takes a break===
On 6 December, Chris announced that he would not be able to produce or sell his artwork until 1 January 2015, as he and his mother would be busy moving back into [[14 Branchland Court]] after its renovation. But nothing happened on this day. Instead, about two weeks into the new year, Chris silently removed all his sale items from his account, making no mention of it on Facebook. Finally, on 2 February, he announced:

{{quotebox|2 February 2015
Relisted: More Sonichu and Rosechu Medallions for satisfied Sonichu and Rosechu Fans. Please, help me get my Seller Status back up to Standard, so I can relist the commissions and photos again. Thank You.}}

Of course, given that he was due to appear in [[26 December 2014|court]] in three days, he was taking a big risk in guaranteeing that he could fulfill orders.

===Sonichu Amiibo===
{{Main|Sonichu Amiibo}}

In line with his demands to his quadrillions of adoring fans that they vote for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to appear in the upcoming Smash Bros. game, Chris expanded his merchandising endeavor and began to sell Sonichu Amiibo. Chris's customization process for the generic Sonichu Amiibo involves taking a new and functional Sonic Amiibo, breaking all the limbs off, reattaching them in a janky and unnatural pose with Krazy Glue, attaching Pikachu ears and tail, and slathering the whole thing in glossy paint to give it that "child's art project" look. So far, Amiibo of Sonichu, Blake, the Chaotic Combo, his family members, and himself in various points in time have been put on sale, as well as Amiibos of Mary Lee Walsh, Count Graduon, Silvana, Simonola, and Sonichu's children.

Bizarrely, while Chris seems to be sculpting the Pikachu ears for his custom Amiibos out of [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]], the tails seem to be taken from Pikachu Amiibo. As Chris could simply take the parts from any old Pikachu toy and likely save himself the money on both Pikachu Amiibo and Model Magic, trolls can only speculate on [[autism|why he would choose to do it this way]]. Chris makes barely any return on these custom jobs--with Sonichu Amiibos selling at $41 each, Chris stands to make about $11 per Amiibo sold, losing almost his entire profit margin on P&P and eBay fees alone. Chris sold out the entire stock of his first run within hours of announcing their existence, which means he probably made about a hundred dollars, or, in Chris's terms, five Lego minifigs from some eBay scalper.

The verified Sonichu Amiibo purchases have, so far, arrived in less than pristine condition.

===Pokemon Cards===
On 13 July 2016, prompted by the [[Financhu Crisis|Financhu Crisis]], Chris began listing Pokemon cards for sale to raise money.
Typically for Chris, he didn't bother researching the prices on the cards, instead choosing arbitrarily high numbers for his minimum prices.

====Christian Weston Chandler's Birthday Pikachu Sweepstakes Winner Card====
*Listed: 13 July, as an auction
*Starting bid: $50
*Ending bid: $9,101.00

The winning bidder did not pay.

*Relisted: 9 August, as Buy It Now
*Price: $500

{{quotebox|I, Christine Weston Chandler, past name, Christian Weston Chandler, Creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, was personally one of the lucky winners to be the first to receive a US Promo #24 ______'s Pikachu holographic card, in my mailbox on January 29, 2001, as personally written in the back of the Winner slip received with the card (viewable in the photo). This auction is for not only the card, itself, but also the History, with the Winner slip, as well as my personally written cards. Two card sleeves (one of which with taped slips with my name, birthdate, and a star), and a hard plastic card case, as shown in the photos.

A Real Collectible not only for the Pokemon card game, but also a Memorabilia of myself, Sonichu and Rosechu's Creator. The value of this card And documents kept together will surely rise in value in Years later to come.

It will all be shipped together in a bubble envelope after successful payment receipt.

Thank you.}}
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Pikachu card 1.jpg
File:CWC Pikachu card 2.jpg
File:CWC Pikachu card 3.jpg
</gallery></center>

====Base Set Charizard Holo, No Shadow====
*Listed: 14 July, as Buy It Now
*Price: $100
*Sold: 18 July
{{quotebox|The Near Holy Grail of Pokemon Cards: Shadowless, Base Set Charizard, 4/102. Gently used; Excellent Condition; sleeve included. Will ship in hard card case in bubble envelope.}}
{{quotebox|Gently used in deck; kept in sleeve the whole time; retired to book, in sleeve, for Years.}}
<center><gallery>
File:Charizard card.jpg
</gallery></center>

====Error Misprinted Jungle Electrode, First Edition ====
*Listed: 14 July, as Buy It Now
*Price: $100
{{quotebox|Misprinted First Edition Jungle Electrode; Never has been played with; has been kept in card sleeve for years; Excellent Condition. Will ship in hard card case in bubble envelope.}}
<center><gallery>
File:Electrode card.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Aladdin VHS Black Diamond The Classics===
[[Image:Overpriced.png|thumb|400px|right|You can either buy Chris's copy for $3,000, or buy a different one for a ''much'' lower price.]]

Chris fell for the common Internet rumor that Black Diamond VHS editions of Disney movies are incredibly valuable, because the newer digital editions contain modern edits and so the only way to get the "original" is to buy up old tapes. In reality, these are not at all rare and demand is limited to a few obsessive collectors, so the tapes are only worth $5-$10.<ref>http://www.snopes.com/black-diamond-collection-disney/</ref><ref>http://www.ebay.com/itm/Aladdin-VHS-1993-Walt-Disneys-Black-Diamond-Classic-/182209820230?hash=item2a6c8d3646:g:OB4AAOSwARZXjN~3&_trksid=p2349526.m3874.l7936</ref> Used copies of said tape on Amazon can be as low as 44 cents, and many other Disney movies on VHS can even cost just a penny (plus shipping, but still).

*Listed: 9 August, as Buy It Now
*Price: $3,000
{{quotebox|Aladdin VHS

Black Diamond Edition

Case and VHS Tape in Great Condition.

1993 edition

ISBN 1558906630

717951662033 }}

<center><gallery>
File:$3000 vhs tape1.jpg
File:$3000 vhs tape2.jpg
File:$3000 vhs tape3.jpg
File:$3000 vhs tape4.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Bob's stamp collection===
{{main|Stamps}}

===Chris's stamp album===
{{main|Stamps}}

===Sonic Totem===
{{main|Sonic Totem}}

===Sonichu drawings from 2014===

*Listed: 19 April, as Buy It Now
*Price: $2,000 (cut to $1,000 on 5 May, then to $500 five days later).
*Shipping: Free (Expedited)
{{quotebox|Six classic pieces from Miss Christine Chandler of Sonichu and Rosechu (along with Angelica and Bubbles Rosechu); all individually and personally Certified. You would be remiss to miss out on this deal at each piece valuing at $500 apiece.}}

<center><gallery>
File:Sonichu $2k art 1.jpeg
File:Sonichu $2k art 2.jpeg
File:Sonichu $2k art 3.jpeg
File:Sonichu $2k art 4.jpeg
File:Sonichu $2k art 5.jpeg
File:Sonichu $2k art 6.jpeg
</gallery></center>

===The Classic shirt===
{{main|The Classic}}

Christine Chandler's Vintage, Iconic, Stripe Shirt

*Listed: 19 April
*Shipping: Free
*Category: Collectibles > Decorative Collectibles > Other Decorative Collectibles

*Price: $12,000 (Starting Bid), $20,000 (Buy It Now)
*Ending bid: $25,100

The winning bidder did not pay.

<center><gallery>
File:Classic post-fire 1.jpeg|Initial listing photo. Check out the mold.
File:Classic post-fire 2.jpeg|Second listing photo, after washing.
</gallery></center>

==A Second Account==
On 22 [[June 2015]], Chris opened a second, concurrent eBay account, "pristinechristine1982." In his Facebook [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#New eBay Account|announcement]], he explained that this was "to start fresh on my selling limits and all." It is not clear how eBay would feel about this tactic if they were aware of it. At any rate, he has bought items and sold autographed photos, medallions, and Amiibo through this account with no trouble yet.

On 2 [[September 2015]], Chris posted on Facebook that he was moving from eBay to [[Etsy]] because it is "easier" and "better" than eBay. After losing his Etsy shop in June 2016<ref>[[Etsy#Shop Closure]]</ref>, Chris returned to eBay as a seller, listing Pokemon cards in July 2016.

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's eBay sales]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://myworld.ebay.com/jesusguidesme2 Chris's first account]
*[http://www.ebay.com/usr/pristinechristine1982 Chris's new account]
*[http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=jesusguidesme2&ftab=AllFeedback&myworld=true His feedback]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?kdhtoczdlxi Stuff Chris auctioned]--DELETED

{{BusinessList}}
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:EBay]]

ToJackie

2017-12-20T23:41:42Z

FeeltheCosmos: The last bit of the monologue sounds like a serial killer talking to his victim.

'''ToJackie''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris begs [[Jackie]] not to leave him, insisting that she matters more than [[video games]], that he can [[Random access humor|make her laugh]], and that no other [[Sex toys|non-living]] [[PS3|object]] can replace her. It should be noted that the alleged "bible" he swears upon is so close to the camera that you can't tell whether or not it is a [[Chris and Religion|bible]] at all.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ToJackie
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Jwql9W-Vcfk}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|Grey T-shirt}}
| previous = [[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]
| next = [[100 2278]]
}}

{{quote|No video game, no high score or no dang console is going to go over you, because I love you so much more. You can return the feelings and emotions. No dang— non-living object can ever do that. I swear. }}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:I want you Jackie.jpg|thumb|right|200px|How can you say no to that [[stare]]?]]

''[Chris performs a dramatic glasses removal.]''

Listen. Jackie? I gotta— I gotta tell it to you straight. I mean, yeah. I have been doing these videos and everything FOR YOU. I put— I've given you so much time and energy. I want you to know that… it is all good. I am being honest with you. I have been honest with you. Sometimes, I have misspoke. But you are more important to me than ANYTHING. Believe me! I swear. [[Chris and religion|Hand to God. And on my Bible]]. I'd have to go look for it.

''[Chris turns around, looking for his Bible.]''

It's right over— here it is.

''[Chris picks up and places his hand on his "Bible".]''

Yeah, look. Hand on my Bible. I swear to God. I love you more than any— more than anything, Jackie. I love you more than anything.

''[Chris puts the object down.]''

And, plus, I'll be able to make you laugh. Make you more happy. Make you smile a lot more, after we meet— after we get together. I mean—

''[Chris turns around, shoves fake breasts up his shirt, and turns around again.]''

Hey, look. This is fun.

''[Chris imitates his [[WelcometoBollywood|belly dancing]].]''

We can feel each other up, ya know?

''[Chris bends over to show his breasts.]''

Hey, look. How do you like lookin' down at ''my'' cleavage? (Chris laughs.) I'll make you smile, make you happy. [Chris removes the fake breasts.] You know I will, because I love you. I love you a lot.

''[Chris pauses and slouches down.]''

And do— and there ain't no— there's nothing else in the world, 'cept outside my family. [''Chris noticeably sighs.''] You know, 'cause, you know, I gotta— I gotta respect my mom and dad. But no [[sonichu (game)|video game]], no high score or no dang [[PS3|console]] is going to go over you, because I love you so much more. You can return the feelings and emotions. No dang— non-living object can ever do that. I swear.

''[Chris stands up straight, leans forward and [[creepy stare|grabs the camera]].]''

We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]|nextlink=[[100 2278]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 j]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 j]]

Vitameatavegamin

2017-12-20T20:51:30Z

FeeltheCosmos:

[[File:Lucy Shocked.jpg|thumb|200px|From the ''I Love Lucy'' scene.]]

'''Vitameatavegamin''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris repeats, almost verbatim, a well-known bit from the ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' TV show, where Lucy hawked a patent medicine.

Without the main punchline of the original (Lucy trying out the medicine for herself while rehearsing the commercial and discovering it tastes really bad, thus resulting in her flubbing her takes) it's basically just a bland, shot-for-shot remake of the said bit. Then again, even if he kept what made the original scene funny, it'd probably still be of the same quality.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Vitameatavegamin
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sKdNSalZUJU}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Gilligan Be or Not]]
| next = [[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris walks on camera and waves cheerfully.'']

Hello, friends! I'm your Vitameatavegamin man! Are you tired, [[Chris and health|run-down]], [[Stress|listless]]? [[Chris and English|D'ya poopoutaparties]]?!
[''He waves his head around in a circle.'']

Are you [[Chris|unpopular]]? The answer to all your problems... in this little bottle!

[''He picks up a bottle of vitamin pills, which judging by the yellow label, appears to be a Nature Made product.'']

Vitameatavegamin! Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, [[Pickle|vegetables]] and minerals! Yes, with Vitameatavegamin you can [[Homos|spoon your way to health]]. Just take one tablespoonful after every meal.

[''He mimes eating a spoonful of the bottle's contents.'']

It's so tasty, too! It tastes just like [[Fanta|can-daay]]! So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin TA-MORROW! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

[''He puts down the bottle and walks off camera.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]|nextlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18 d]]

Gilligan Be or Not

2017-12-20T20:49:30Z

FeeltheCosmos:

'''Gilligan Be or Not''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. Chris performs a soliloquy of sorts from the TV show ''[[Gilligan's Island]]''.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Gilligan Be or Not
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NJOB7VlGLis}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Breast Cancer Awareness]]
| next = [[Vitameatavegamin]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris appears, humming a fanfare of some sort before proceeding to sing]''

Parumpumpum. I ask to be or not to be, A rogue or peasant slave is what you see. [[Chris|A boy who loved his mother’s knee]], and so I ask to be or not to be. So here’s my [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea]], I [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|beg]] of thee, and say you [[White knight|see a little hope for me]]. To fight or flee, to fight or flee, I ask myself to be or not to be. I ask to be or not to be, that is the question that I ask of me. Ask you can see, as you can see, that is the question that I ask of me. I am curious, where I should be, (and what is our community?) To fight or flee, to fight or flee? I ask myself to be or nooooot to be? Parumpumpuuuum.

''[Raises arm]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]|nextlink=[[Vitameatavegamin]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18 b]]

Talk:14 January 2010

2017-12-19T03:38:49Z

FeeltheCosmos: Late addition re: cursing and ego

"I am still a good individual human being."
AH HA HA, OH WOW. This should be Quote of the Day, I think. [[User:Orly444|Orly444]] 22:13, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

Agreed. Also, does anyone know what song that ringtone is, or is it just one of those default ones that come with the phone? I find it interesting that he has yet to upgrade from the 8-bit sounding ringtones that first came out to the ringtones that now actually play the songs. -[[User:Scarf|Scarf]] 22:30, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

He's been wearing that shirt for three days now. I can't imagine what it smells like. [[User:Popobawa69|Popobawa69]] 22:52, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
*Chris always wears his clothes several days in a row, as evidenced in ''several'' videos. This is nothing new or interesting.[[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 22:55, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

== Transcription ==

The Transcription is shit atm. I had trouble around 1:16 and when his phone rang. If someone could fix that they would be most TURE and HONEST. [[User:Cows|Cows]] 22:59, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

==No, we haven't==

Comment on this post if youve ever ''cursed'' somebody. I mean according to Chris we have all done it, right? I bet I wont get a single comment!{{unsigned|Briscoe}}
*[[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|CWCki is not a forum]]. I tend to be too lenient when it comes to idle chatter about new Chris content but shit like this has no place on CWCki. And for the love of God, sign your comments. It's four tildas (~) in a row.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:41, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

== Jumbo Image? ==

<s>Anyone have a screencap of his front-page before he started fucking around with it AGAIN? I would like to have seen it before it was lost in the time void and it might be relevant to put it in the article</s>. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS, sysop reverted it already. [[User:Sandworm|Sandworm]] 23:44, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
:I checked the page history on his little retarded Frontpage thing. It only has one edit, and the mainpage is still the page that Comes up automatically when I type Cwcipedia into mozilla. What exactly did Chris do?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:14, 15 January 2010 (UTC)
::As far as I can figure, he created a new page identical to the main page (minus the adds), and called it front page. It links to absolutely nothing, as the default is still the main page, and seems to be nothing more than a feeble attempt to get rid of the STRESS. Captain my ass, he's a fucking cabin boy. [[User:Sandworm|Sandworm]] 05:04, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

=="Though they probably just assumed that"==
For the life of me, I can't figure out what point he's making here. He admits that he cursed them, but then goes right from that to say that the Asperpedia staff probably just assumed that he cursed them, as though that actually counts as damage control.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:49, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

:Pretty sure he just meant they had no literal proof (as he didn't make a video about it), so it was mighty wrong of them to make assumptions with ZERO EVIDENCE. [[User:FeeltheCosmos|FeeltheCosmos]] ([[User talk:FeeltheCosmos|talk]]) 03:37, 19 December 2017 (UTC)

14 January 2010

2017-12-19T03:32:55Z

FeeltheCosmos:

'''14 January 2010''' (officially '''01142010.MOV''') was uploaded by Chris on 14 [[January 2010]]. In this video, he tries to convince the audience that he is [[Ego|a good person]] even after he [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] [[Asperchu|someone]] and wished for their [[Death threats|imminent demise]].

Chris also seems to have worn the same shirt for three days in a row.
==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 01142010.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DjZMBkSKXwE}}
| stardate = 14 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Fanart|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{DogShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| previous = [[12 January 2010]]
| next = [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N]]
}}

{{quote|A lot of us have cursed people. Everybody has cursed somebody in their lives.}}

=== Transcript ===

Ah, [[Captain's Log]], Stardate January 14th, 2010.

Welp, I have just looked up on the, uh, [[CWCipedia]] and noticed a jumbo image that, uh, Alec and his associates have put on there and, uh, yes, I'll ha—I'll admit that I have cursed them, though they probably just assumed that, aside from my being angry at them, but I spy— but regardless of that.

In response to that as well as, uhh, their questioning, uh, me as a individual, as such. I mean a lot of us have cursed people. Everybody has cursed somebody in their lives, or said curse word— whatever. But I'm still a g—I'm still a good, individual human being. It's just that, like them with their mental problems and me and my mental problems, when we go into defense mode or response to something that really offends us, we can be mean and c—we can be mean. And that's just, uh, our defense like, you know. It's just like the (?) state of a man. Something offends us, prf [''waves and makes punching gesture''], we want to punch that sucker right in the face. Every ma— every individual man with, or without, a mental handicap can agree with me on that.

But still, I have given you [[Sonichu]] for the past almost ten years now. Well, up to, anyway, 'cause the website didn't go up until 2004. But still—it will be almost ten years now, since I first started him on March 17, 2000. Or ten year anniversary, [''Cell phone starts ringing''] March 17, 2010.

[''Cell phone stops ringing.'']

Anyway, uh, regar— irregardless of the incoming call here, hm, I say, trust the ma—trust the individual who you've been trusting this whole time. Don't trust this new guy. [[Chris and his Ego|He's just trying to take my fame]]. Please, think about that, my loyal fans. Stay safe and have a good da—

[''Video cuts off abruptly.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[12 January 2010]]|nextlink=[[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2010| 2010-01-14]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2010-01-14]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-01-14]]

12 January 2010

2017-12-19T03:24:04Z

FeeltheCosmos:

[[File:Rawr fag.jpg|200px|thumb|right|And here, we see the almighty Chandler unleashing his mating call.]]

'''12 January 2010''' (officially '''01122010.MOV''') is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 12 [[January 2010]]. In this video, Chris, [[Chris and reality|delusional as always]], mentions talks about working with [[anime]] distribution company [[Wikipedia:A.D. Vision|ADV Films]], which [[Honor roll|shut down 4 months prior to the video's posting]]. He then gives a shout out to a mysterious girl named Ginger before [[Rage|raging]] over the [[Asperchu]] ads on his site. Also, Chris asserts his alleged heterosexuality by placing a ''[[Playboy]]'' centerfold featuring [[The Simpsons|Marge Simpson]] on his rear wall.

At the end, he punches out his [[camera]], thus ensuring many [[videos]] with skipping audio (or even worse) to come. Pay careful attention his [[hair]] in these videos: at first glance, it may not seem too bad, but look again. That's a proto-combover. Chris can't even go bald with dignity.

==Description==
{{quotebox|
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, ALEC!!! }}

==Part 1==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Honest}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = 01122010.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pCrLyR69cPM}}
| stardate = 12 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Fanart|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{DogShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| previous = [[Down with Asperchu]]
| next = [[12 January 2010#Part 2|12 January 2010, Part 2]]
}}

{{quote|I'm gonna ''RUIN'' you! LEARY!!}}

===Transcript===
Captain's Log, January 12, 2010. Uh, first off, a couple of business--a couple of small announcements, uh...I'm possibly in talks with, uh, A.D. Vision about a project, possibly. But also, uh, hi Ginger.

Alright, so with that aside, let's uh, get down to the [[duck|meat]] here. Again, ''down'' with that god damn [[Asperchu|Alec]]! I mean, he pai--he paid off that--s goddamn...[[Jack Thaddeus]] just so he can take over the stupid ad space. Ugh, I mean, I would prefer Jack Thaddeus ''back'' at this point!

Goddammit! You're ticking me off here! [[Death_threats#Alec_Benson_Leary|I'm gonna come after you!]] I'm gonna come after you. I'm gonna sc--I'm gonna ''RUIN'' you! LEARY!!

ERNGH! [''glasses removal''] You just make me so ANGRY...! [''displays the [[Claw of Fail]]''] Engh.....mmm.....

[''Chris slams his fist to the camera and it intensely falls down.'']

==Part 2==
A few hours later, Chris posted up a second video, raging [[Mailbag 36|about]] [[Mailbag 37|various]] [[Mailbag 38|questions in]] [[Mailbag 39|his]] [[Mailbag]].

{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = 01122010 Update.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_GGQtp6H31Y}}
| stardate = 12 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Fanart|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{DogShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| previous = [[12 January 2010#Part_1|12 January 2010, Part 1]]
| next = [[14 January 2010]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:LiquidOn12Jan2010.JPG|thumb|[[Liquid Chris|Liquid's]] two cents.]]

[''[[Sigh]]s.''] Just... further... [''Dramatic glasses removal''] update. I am so sick, and tired, of having to deal with all these people who have so many goddamn misunderstandings and mislabelings!

First off, Asperchu is ''not mine''! I am sick and tired of being misa-misassociated with him. He is not mine, and I would never care to associa-ha-him, because he is a bunch of crap! He just looks like a parody of me, with a [[Obesity|buddha belly]] and exaggerated manboobs! [''adjusts [[bra]] underneath his shirt''] And I am so sick and tired of him.

And also, Rosechu has always been a woman! If you look on page three of [[Sonichu 0|book number one]], it says right there that that Raichu was a girl--quote unquote GIRL. RAICHU! And Sonichu has been straight the whole time! He's always been straight! Rosechu's always been a woman...[''a long pause as Chris is overcome with [[dirty, crapped briefs|emotion]].'']

{{RageQuote|'''''URAAAAAAAARRRGH!!'''''}}

[''Adjusts camera; pants for a few seconds as muffled mumbling can be heard in the background'']

If only people would just understand me better and quit the mislabelings and the misunderstandings, and quit making offensive comments and offensive questions and officient statements then maybe I would be more-feel more at peace! [''Sighs again.''] Leave it at that for now. Ta--[''video cuts off abruptly.'']

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ian Brandon Anderson Screams And Shit
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3GYVazs_Ecs}}
| stardate = 26 [[January 2010]]
| maker = bloodsugersexmagik
| subject =
| type = YouTube Poop
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = A-Log's CWC Commentaries - Screaming With Rage!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|oCL6LCjAOio}}
| stardate = 26 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [[Anthony LoGatto]]
| subject = {{Smug|[[Narcissism]]}}, {{Sex|[[Rule 34]]}}
| type = "Commentary"
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Down with Asperchu]]|nextlink=[[14 January 2010]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, January 2010| 2010-01-12]]
[[Category: CWCipedia Saga videos| 2010-01-12]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-01-12]]
[[Category: Videos about homos| 2010-01-12]]
[[Category: Videos with Camera Abuse]]

SHE IS MINE NOW

2017-12-16T23:05:38Z

FeeltheCosmos:

[[Image:Crazy.jpg|thumb|"I will kick your asses. Because I'm crazy."]]

'''SHE IS MINE NOW''' (officially '''10292009 - Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW''') is another call out to [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], uploaded on 28 [[October 2009]]. In it, he [[Chris and music#Rap|raps]] again and declares that [[Kacey]] is his and that Liquid lost her.

Ian plays a wide array of Aerosmith tracks in the background, undoubtedly in an attempt to seem rebellious and dangerous. He [[Autism|shuffles]] back and forth throughout the video and seems to have aged considerably since [[For Chris No 2|''yesterday'']]. He also finally changed his shirt.

He also does his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]...that or another [[rage]] attack. Who knows?

It is also important to note that Ian seems to be sweating a fair amount in this video and can be seen wiping sweat from his brow. The sweating appears to become more profuse towards the end of the video compared to the somewhat dry start.

==Original video from the real Chris==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = BACK THE FUCK OFF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3Q-1aHvLXnE}}
| stardate = 28 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|[[Kacey]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| previous = [[For Chris|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK]]
| next = [[SHE_IS_MINE_NOW#MC CWC responds|MC CWC responds]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--ut'n, don't wanna play nice, do ya?! I'll school ya! [''Jump cut''] I'll s--I'll s--I'll school ya. I'll take you to town!

[''Liquid Chris steps back from the camera and performs several fighting moves similar to the ones seen in [[CWC Fighter]].'']

I'm comin' for ya!

[''Re-approaches camera'']

I am the only one here who is fit for [[Kacey]]! [''Jump cut''] And another thing! [''Jump cut''] Uhh. Yeah this one's for you.

[''Steps away from the camera'']

The real deal! '''[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-HAAAAAAAA!!]]'''

[''Jump cut. Liquid Chris is close to the camera again.'']

Oh and by the way. I have been talking to some people named [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Gregg Mays]], who have told me personally, that they are going to help me take you down! [''Heavy breathing, possibly due to the extreme cold''] And, uh, yeah! Jack Thaddeus, his assistant Samanda Handroil, Samantha Handroil and Gregg Mays, who is a good man, and what ha-has given me some information on you, so that uh- I don't think- I don't think you'll like it very much at- mmmh [''More heavy breathing''] I don't think you will- I don't think you would like it very much if it got out and ruined your life forever.

So yeah. Jack Thaddeus, Gregg Mays. They're on my side now. Mmm. So get ready, arch-nemesis. I will be waiting. And to the rest of you, peace, eh.

==Ian's video==
{{honest}}
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = SHE IS MINE NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9H1ZQ-dzTuo}}
| stardate = 29 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Kacey]]}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{TanWideLines|text}}
| previous = [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]
| next = [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]
}}

{{quote|<poem>You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me
Come fight me in person
Come out from behind the camera you fool
I'll fight you any day!</poem>|MC Chris, [[Chris and music|"rhyming"]]}}

=== Transcript ===

Yo! MC Chris! I'm gonna rap it to ya, man! Listen up!

<poem>
[''Ian begins "rapping" while Run-DMC's cover of "Walk This Way" plays in the background'']
I seen yo video, yous a lame ass
[[Sonichu (comic)|You done copyin' this and that]]
[[homos|I'm gonna screw you]], I'm gonna take you to town
Who do you think you are, [[South Park|Eric Cartman]]?
[''Ian does terrible Eric Cartman impression''] Screw you guys, I'm going home!
You had all with the [[pedofork|sweet little girl]]
[[List of Chris's lies|And yet you break your promise!]]
You done turn your back on her and turn to the [[trolls]]!
You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me,
Come fight me in person!
Come out from behind the camera, you FOOL!
I'll fight you any day!
[[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|Poop]]-pow! [''flails arms in an obscene mockery of punching'']
And I'm gonna just plain kick yo ass!
From-looking-at-your-body-type, you's a total width and shorter than me!
I'm a good 5 foot 10, what are you, like a 4 foots 8?
I tell you something right now
[[Virgin with rage|That ain't gonna let you laid]],
Yet you had it once with her and you let it down
You's a big ol' dang...[[Hello, Juffalo|stupid lame-ass clown]].
Because you know you had all the [[Chris and religion|blessings]]
She was smart she was sweet she was [[Speech impediment|riwwyvery]] fun!
And I'll tell ya what ya did...
You...she done left you boy!
You lost her! You treated her like a [[Kimmi|dang ragdoll]]!

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Rag Doll"''] Dang ragdoll...
And she ain't no ragdoll, she's a caring human being!
And you is--and you is a dang fool for mistreating her like you did.
And I [[love]] her for--I love her for so much more than that.
And you so dumb...and you threw it all away, man.
She left you and now she's with me.
</poem>

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Dream On"''] So, at this point, you could just... [''turns back and awkwardly fast forwards through the intro to the song, and wipes his forehead''] So, at this point man. I'll tell you what you could do, because all your notions you had...with lovely, with sweet [[Kacey]]. This point, you could just...[[Dreams|dream]] on. Cause she and I we share [''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion".'']

[''In an ear-splitting high pitched whine, while holding up the [[Claw of Fail]]''] SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET EMOOOOOOOOOTION. You didn't share no sweet emotion. You just done played her for a fool. And I don't ca--and I don't take to fools like that. [''whispers''] Please don't. I swear. And by the way you know what? I don't care about bein' a virgin because you know what? She and me are gonna be like...

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator"''] ...[[Sonichu_8#The_Elevator_Gags|LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR! LOVIN' IT UP IN AN ELEVATOR!]] I mean, I tell ya. I tell ya what, man. She done leave you--she done left yous mang. She come--she come towards me. Because she's beyond beautiful.

[''Changes track to "Beyond Beautiful" from the Aerosmith Track Pack, awkwardly fast forwards through intro again and then <s>sings</s> mumbles along, badly''] She loves me now, she loves you not! Listen to that! Listen to the words of Aerosmith! She's beyond beautiful, and she's beyond...brilliant. She is so kind. She cares a lot. She cared about you, too. But you done turned her down, man. You lost her. So face facts man. She's with me Mac- she is with me now. You're yesterday's news. Just like the- just like the [[Monthly tugboat|boat]] that the [[Random access humor|MythBusters made out of newspaper and ice.]] Yesterday's news. Good show by the way, [[List of Chris's lies|I learned from it.]] So you can just move on, [[Wikipedia:Buster Brown|Buster Brown]]! 'Cause [[Chris|Mama Brown]] ain't gonna take that no more!

Yeah... and I will kick your ass, 'cause... I'm [[autism|crazy]]! [''gibbers violently at the camera, pauses, then does a more effete version of gibbering at the camera'']

C'mon! You come fight me in person, and I'll kick your ass! Come on!

...have a good day. Anse--when you--meet me in person.

==MC CWC responds==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = MC CWC responds
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wDMEVOM3pV8}}
| stardate = 29 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|[[Kacey]]}}, {{Music|text}}
| previous = [[SHE_IS_MINE_NOW#Original video from the real Chris|BACK THE FUCK OFF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU]]
| next = [[My_Half_of_A_Whole_New_World_for_Kacey#CChanSonichu CWC responds|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
}}

{{quote|Then I'm gonna turn you into a murder statistic,
Because, bitch 
I'm High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic|MC CWC, being '''fucking ill.'''}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Ian responds to MC CWC.jpg|thumb|Ian's comments on Chris's Response.]]
Kacey, you understand, this… this Ian, this… you do not want anything to have to do with him. I will win you back! I promise!

And another thing, I am gonna show you who is the real, who is the real better, talented CWC, in order to, in order to get you back! Cuz I will have you back, bay-bee! I miss you!

Here he is MC – the MC CWC, throwin’ down his favorite rhymes y’all! Yeah, okay.

[''The beat from [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem's]] "[[Wikipedia:My Name Is|My Name Is]]" begins playing (yes, just the beat, because the Real Chris can actually play songs with the lyrics cut out)'']

''Kacey doesn’t love you – it’s true! 
''I checked her email this Tuesday at seven-oh-two 
''She has more apprehension than someone like you 
''Having his [[semen]], and [[recycling|drinking it too]] 
''In orange [[CWC Cola|Fanta, chocolate syrup]], you just can’t refuse 
''Mothafuckas online think that it cannot be true 
''But you prove them wrong, bottoms-up is yo motto 
''So it slides down yo throat, like a melty gelato 
''Wearin’ that bathrobe, like greener than avocado 
''Mashed up in a bathtub, infested with live mold 
''Your [[ShowerClean|shower]] got a problem with that, so I been told 
''In fact I’ve seen it – you’re twenty-seven years old! 
''You get [[CWCFlyingElephants|naked on camera and dance around like ten-fold]] 
''Fuck you, [[niggos|nigga]] – you makin’ my head explode 
''You know, with the stop-this and the stop-that 
''And the [[Nudes|expose of your ass-crack]] 
''On the camera, it was so wack 
''Look like Jack Black, on your last track 
''Mothafucka, I’ve never tried kickin’ an ass this hard 
''But I’mmabout to chew up and spit y’all about one million yards 
''I’ll take yo picture and send it to yo bodyguard 
''Now everybody yeah, sing along 

''Now everybody drawin’ the [[comic]] pages for ages 
''The sages of rage, and the age of contagion’s voracious 
''And pages, like the mothafuckin plague is 
''Upon a plantation and faces just can’t explain this 

''Sorry – didn’t understand that? 
''Understand my ass-crack! 
''I’m [[Wikipedia:Back in Black|back in black]] – and so’s my battery 
''Runs on [[Wikipedia:AC/DC|AC/DC]], 
''You don’t deserve to listen to a band so legendary, 
''[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Get the FUCK off]] of Kacey, 
''Blaze me? You’re pasty! 
''You can’t stop me, or block me, or amaze me. 
''You won’t even [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|come to her rescue]], ‘cuz you’re lazy! 
''It doesn’t phase me that you’re crazy, 
''‘Cuz if I see you try to contain me, 
''Then when I kick your ass, and salt and shake thee 

''I’m gonna rip off 
''Your four-inch 
''[[Duck|Deformed dick]] 

''[[BlueSpike#Max|Shove it up your ass]] 
''Like a certain 
''[[Medallion of fail|Medallion]] 

''Then I’m gonna turn you into 
''A murder 
''Statistic 

''Because, bitch, 
''I’m High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic. 

''Out! 

Yeah. M’kay. Yeah yeah, yeah, m’kay, yeah you listen to that and you take in the words from that.

Peace, and have a good day.

==External Links==
Download Liquid Chris's rap - Created by Youtuber CynicalController https://www.dropbox.com/s/5x4pdw699q1cf3p/Rhymes%20to%20Win%20Kacey%20Back.mp3?dl=0

==See also==
*[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
*[[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]|nextlink=[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-28]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-28]]

SHE IS MINE NOW

2017-12-16T19:05:40Z

FeeltheCosmos:

[[Image:Crazy.jpg|thumb|"I will kick your asses. Because I'm crazy."]]

'''SHE IS MINE NOW''' (officially '''10292009 - Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW''') is another call out to [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], uploaded on 28 [[October 2009]]. In it, he [[Chris and music#Rap|raps]] again and declares that [[Kacey]] is his and that Liquid lost her.

Ian plays a wide array of Aerosmith tracks in the background, undoubtedly in an attempt to seem rebellious and dangerous. He [[Autism|shuffles]] back and forth throughout the video and seems to have aged considerably since [[For Chris No 2|''yesterday'']]. He also finally changed his shirt.

He also does his [[Donald Duck impersonation]]...that or another [[rage]] attack. Who knows?

It is also important to note that Ian seems to be sweating a fair amount in this video and can be seen wiping sweat from his brow. The sweating appears to become more profuse towards the end of the video compared to the somewhat dry start.

==Original video from the real Chris==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = BACK THE FUCK OFF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3Q-1aHvLXnE}}
| stardate = 28 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|[[Kacey]]}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| previous = [[For Chris|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK]]
| next = [[SHE_IS_MINE_NOW#MC CWC responds|MC CWC responds]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
--ut'n, don't wanna play nice, do ya?! I'll school ya! [''Jump cut''] I'll s--I'll s--I'll school ya. I'll take you to town!

[''Liquid Chris steps back from the camera and performs several fighting moves similar to the ones seen in [[CWC Fighter]].'']

I'm comin' for ya!

[''Re-approaches camera'']

I am the only one here who is fit for [[Kacey]]! [''Jump cut''] And another thing! [''Jump cut''] Uhh. Yeah this one's for you.

[''Steps away from the camera'']

The real deal! '''[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-HAAAAAAAA!!]]'''

[''Jump cut. Liquid Chris is close to the camera again.'']

Oh and by the way. I have been talking to some people named [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Gregg Mays]], who have told me personally, that they are going to help me take you down! [''Heavy breathing, possibly due to the extreme cold''] And, uh, yeah! Jack Thaddeus, his assistant Samanda Handroil, Samantha Handroil and Gregg Mays, who is a good man, and what ha-has given me some information on you, so that uh- I don't think- I don't think you'll like it very much at- mmmh [''More heavy breathing''] I don't think you will- I don't think you would like it very much if it got out and ruined your life forever.

So yeah. Jack Thaddeus, Gregg Mays. They're on my side now. Mmm. So get ready, arch-nemesis. I will be waiting. And to the rest of you, peace, eh.

==Ian's video==
{{honest}}
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = SHE IS MINE NOW
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9H1ZQ-dzTuo}}
| stardate = 29 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Kacey]]}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{TanWideLines|text}}
| previous = [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]
| next = [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]
}}

{{quote|<poem>You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me
Come fight me in person
Come out from behind the camera you fool
I'll fight you any day!</poem>|MC Chris, [[Chris and music|"rhyming"]]}}

=== Transcript ===

Yo! MC Chris! I'm gonna rap it to ya, man! Listen up!

<poem>
[''Ian begins "rapping" while Run-DMC's cover of "Walk This Way" plays in the background'']
I seen yo video, yous a lame ass
[[Sonichu (comic)|You done copyin' this and that]]
[[homos|I'm gonna screw you]], I'm gonna take you to town
Who do you think you are, [[South Park|Eric Cartman]]?
[''Ian does terrible Eric Cartman impression''] Screw you guys, I'm going home!
You had all with the [[pedofork|sweet little girl]]
[[List of Chris's lies|And yet you break your promise!]]
You done turn your back on her and turn to the [[trolls]]!
You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me,
Come fight me in person!
Come out from behind the camera, you FOOL!
I'll fight you any day!
[[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|Poop]]-pow! [''flails arms in an obscene mockery of punching'']
And I'm gonna just plain kick yo ass!
From-looking-at-your-body-type, you's a total width and shorter than me!
I'm a good 5 foot 10, what are you, like a 4 foots 8?
I tell you something right now
[[Virgin with rage|That ain't gonna let you laid]],
Yet you had it once with her and you let it down
You's a big ol' dang...[[Hello, Juffalo|stupid lame-ass clown]].
Because you know you had all the [[Chris and religion|blessings]]
She was smart she was sweet she was [[Speech impediment|riwwyvery]] fun!
And I'll tell ya what ya did...
You...she done left you boy!
You lost her! You treated her like a [[Kimmi|dang ragdoll]]!

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Rag Doll"''] Dang ragdoll...
And she ain't no ragdoll, she's a caring human being!
And you is--and you is a dang fool for mistreating her like you did.
And I [[love]] her for--I love her for so much more than that.
And you so dumb...and you threw it all away, man.
She left you and now she's with me.
</poem>

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Dream On"''] So, at this point, you could just... [''turns back and awkwardly fast forwards through the intro to the song, and wipes his forehead''] So, at this point man. I'll tell you what you could do, because all your notions you had...with lovely, with sweet [[Kacey]]. This point, you could just...[[Dreams|dream]] on. Cause she and I we share [''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion".'']

[''In an ear-splitting high pitched whine, while holding up the [[Claw of Fail]]''] SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET EMOOOOOOOOOTION. You didn't share no sweet emotion. You just done played her for a fool. And I don't ca--and I don't take to fools like that. [''whispers''] Please don't. I swear. And by the way you know what? I don't care about bein' a virgin because you know what? She and me are gonna be like...

[''Changes track to Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator"''] ...[[Sonichu_8#The_Elevator_Gags|LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR! LOVIN' IT UP IN AN ELEVATOR!]] I mean, I tell ya. I tell ya what, man. She done leave you--she done left yous mang. She come--she come towards me. Because she's beyond beautiful.

[''Changes track to "Beyond Beautiful" from the Aerosmith Track Pack, awkwardly fast forwards through intro again and then <s>sings</s> mumbles along, badly''] She loves me now, she loves you not! Listen to that! Listen to the words of Aerosmith! She's beyond beautiful, and she's beyond...brilliant. She is so kind. She cares a lot. She cared about you, too. But you done turned her down, man. You lost her. So face facts man. She's with me Mac- she is with me now. You're yesterday's news. Just like the- just like the [[Monthly tugboat|boat]] that the [[Random access humor|MythBusters made out of newspaper and ice.]] Yesterday's news. Good show by the way, [[List of Chris's lies|I learned from it.]] So you can just move on, [[Wikipedia:Buster Brown|Buster Brown]]! 'Cause [[Chris|Mama Brown]] ain't gonna take that no more!

Yeah... and I will kick your ass, 'cause... I'm [[autism|crazy]]! [''gibbers violently at the camera, pauses, then does a more effete version of gibbering at the camera'']

C'mon! You come fight me in person, and I'll kick your ass! Come on!

...have a good day. Anse--when you--meet me in person.

==MC CWC responds==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = MC CWC responds
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wDMEVOM3pV8}}
| stardate = 29 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject = {{Sex|[[Kacey]]}}, {{Music|text}}
| previous = [[SHE_IS_MINE_NOW#Original video from the real Chris|BACK THE FUCK OFF KACEY, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU]]
| next = [[My_Half_of_A_Whole_New_World_for_Kacey#CChanSonichu CWC responds|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
}}

{{quote|Then I'm gonna turn you into a murder statistic,
Because, bitch 
I'm High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic|MC CWC, being '''fucking ill.'''}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Ian responds to MC CWC.jpg|thumb|Ian's comments on Chris's Response.]]
Kacey, you understand, this… this Ian, this… you do not want anything to have to do with him. I will win you back! I promise!

And another thing, I am gonna show you who is the real, who is the real better, talented CWC, in order to, in order to get you back! Cuz I will have you back, bay-bee! I miss you!

Here he is MC – the MC CWC, throwin’ down his favorite rhymes y’all! Yeah, okay.

[''The beat from [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem's]] "[[Wikipedia:My Name Is|My Name Is]]" begins playing (yes, just the beat, because the Real Chris can actually play songs with the lyrics cut out)'']

''Kacey doesn’t love you – it’s true! 
''I checked her email this Tuesday at seven-oh-two 
''She has more apprehension than someone like you 
''Having his [[semen]], and [[recycling|drinking it too]] 
''In orange [[CWC Cola|Fanta, chocolate syrup]], you just can’t refuse 
''Mothafuckas online think that it cannot be true 
''But you prove them wrong, bottoms-up is yo motto 
''So it slides down yo throat, like a melty gelato 
''Wearin’ that bathrobe, like greener than avocado 
''Mashed up in a bathtub, infested with live mold 
''Your [[ShowerClean|shower]] got a problem with that, so I been told 
''In fact I’ve seen it – you’re twenty-seven years old! 
''You get [[CWCFlyingElephants|naked on camera and dance around like ten-fold]] 
''Fuck you, [[niggos|nigga]] – you makin’ my head explode 
''You know, with the stop-this and the stop-that 
''And the [[Nudes|expose of your ass-crack]] 
''On the camera, it was so wack 
''Look like Jack Black, on your last track 
''Mothafucka, I’ve never tried kickin’ an ass this hard 
''But I’mmabout to chew up and spit y’all over one million yards 
''I’ll take yo picture and send it to yo bodyguard 
''Now everybody yeah, sing along 

''Now everybody drawin’ the [[comic]] pages for ages 
''The sages of rage, and the age of contagion’s voracious 
''And pages, like the mothafuckin plague is 
''Upon a plantation and faces just can’t explain this 

''Sorry – didn’t understand that? 
''Understand my ass-crack! 
''I’m [[Wikipedia:Back in Black|back in black]] – and so’s my battery 
''Runs on [[Wikipedia:AC/DC|AC/DC]], 
''You don’t deserve to listen to a band so legendary, 
''[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Get the FUCK off]] of Kacey, 
''Blaze me? You’re pasty! 
''You can’t stop me, or block me, or amaze me. 
''You won’t even [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler|come to the rescue]], ‘cuz you’re lazy! 
''It doesn’t phase me that you’re crazy, 
''‘Cuz if I see you try to contain me, 
''Then when I kick your ass, and salt and shake thee 

''I’m gonna rip off 
''Your four-inch 
''[[Duck|Deformed dick]] 

''[[BlueSpike#Max|Shove it up your ass]] 
''Like a certain 
''[[Medallion of fail|Medallion]] 

''Then I’m gonna turn you into 
''A murder 
''Statistic 

''Because, bitch, 
''I’m High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic. 

''Out! 

Yeah. M’kay. Yeah yeah, yeah, m’kay, yeah you listen to that and you take in the words from that.

Peace, and have a good day.

==External Links==
Download Liquid Chris's rap - Created by Youtuber CynicalController https://www.dropbox.com/s/5x4pdw699q1cf3p/Rhymes%20to%20Win%20Kacey%20Back.mp3?dl=0

==See also==
*[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
*[[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]|nextlink=[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-28]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga videos| 2009-10-28]]