CWCki - User contributions [en]

Women's rights

2021-05-13T14:54:45Z

FellandFair:

{{Honest}}
{{Merge|Chris and gender}}
[[File:SchuComic8P58.jpg|thumb|Sure, sweetie. Now make me a sandwich, would ya?]]
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|Chris giving the thumbs up (and two fingers) to women's rights.]]
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.|Self-description<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}

One would think that a person who socialises almost exclusively [[Gal pal|with women]] and refers to all men aside from himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "[[JERKS|jerks]]" would be very supportive of '''women's rights'''. In the case of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], however, one would be mistaken. Women's rights, at least in Chris's mind, refer to the right of women to strip without interference, and the right of a woman not to be accused of having a [[pickle]].

Given his admitted love of the [[Pre-1980#1960s|1964]] classic ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', he presumably took the concept from the character of Mrs. Banks, who is a suffragette in 1910 London.<ref>Lyrics from "The Life I Lead": "It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / {{w|Edward VII of the United Kingdom|King Edward}}'s on the throne / It's the age of men!"</ref> Of course, Chris wouldn't have the first idea of what {{w|women's suffrage}} is, let alone the impact it had on world history, and why it was being shown in the movie in the first place.

Some of Chris's views suggest that he actually has a chauvinistic, if not outright misogynistic, idea of what a woman's role in a family must be. While Chris regularly talks up how great most women he's interacted with are (regardless of whether or not said praise is actually warranted), Chris's ideal woman is ultimately someone who will do all the work in caring for the family, while working a full-time job, and while mothering Chris while having [[Chris and sex|sex]] with him whenever he wants. Oddly, his views haven't changed much in spite of the fact that he now identifies as a [[transgender]] woman – [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris sees himself as having an exemption]] [[Chris and work|from these same responsibilities]] in a hypothetical relationship, [[Chris and his ego|because he's "special"]].

==Origin==

As stated, Chris's extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane and Michael in ''Mary Poppins'', a 1964 Disney film based on the book series by P. L. Travers. As the story is set in 1910 London, women did not yet have the right to vote, but there was a mass uprising of campaigns for women's franchise around this time, particularly from groups like the radical Suffragettes and the more moderate Suffragists. Mrs. Banks is the mother of the children and sings the second song, "Sister Suffragette", during which she mentions prominent women's campaigner {{w|Emmeline Pankhurst}} being arrested (again).<ref>"Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!"</ref>

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and opportunities as men. Chris, however, takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck whenever they want.

==In the comic==
{{quote|Proving something about woman's rights or something by having a girl strip naked...that's a conflicting message. I don't know what kind of message you are trying to portray. You say you care about women yet your pictures and other sayings all conflict with one another.|[[Vivian Gee]] <ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008]]</ref>}}
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|An example of Chris's disclaimers.]]
In the [[comics]], women are portrayed as only enjoying lots of sex, shopping, and cooking (not for themselves; they cook for the men). Similarly, when they go shopping, they buy clothes specifically to wear for their significant other/crush. They have stereotypical female attributes which Chris clearly believes are legitimate, such as them eating salad at McDonalds and [[Bionic the Hedgehog|squishing over male characters]], while being motivated only by the desire to [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|find a mate]] and please him with [[Sandy Rosechu|offspring]].

Chris's most prominent reference to women's rights occurs at the end of [[Episode 17]], in which the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] of [[CWCville]] '''strip naked''' to celebrate their victory over [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] (during which [[Rosechu]] ''rapes'' Howell (she's supposed to be the hero)) and assert their dominance over [[4-cent garbage.com]]. This scene also implies that women cannot vote in CWCville, because at one point, the Rosechus start singing the "votes for women" portion of the song "Step In Time". This brings up a sinister aspect of Chris's dictatorship over CWCville - he's passionate about batshit laws like making the consumption of [[Tobacky|tobacco]] punishable by imprisonment, yet the CWCville administration has never even considered voting rights for women (the United States have had equal voting rights for women since 1920). Considering how Chris tends to put women on a pedestal, you would think he would have addressed that already within ''Sonichu'' canon.

Despite their [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|phenomenal talent for fighting evil]], Chris depicts Rosechus as passive [[Sex toys|sexual objects]] for [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]. Reflecting Chris's own distorted image of women, the Rosechus in his comics tend to exhibit a desire to engage in stereotypical behavior, with occasional aggressive sexual overtures. Women also tend to act as deus ex machina plot devices - occasionally leaving their role as irrelevant supporting characters to engage in acts of great bravery and heroism. Often, the female characters offer nothing of any substantial narrative value. [[Rosechu]] is seen more often being rescued from ''damsel-in-distress'' situations then actually being a competent hero.

It is obvious that Chris is ''aware'' of the idea that objectifying women is frowned upon; every time he makes his female characters use their feminine qualities (to put it altogether too mildly), he is quick to add a disclaimer that he respects the women for ''both'' their minds and bodies, and/or make the claim that the characters are doing it because they want to fight for the rights of women. However, due to his [[autism|mental block]], he fails to understand that disclaimers like these make him appear to be a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite.]]

==In real life==
[[File:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|thumb|left|[[Layla]] performs a woman's highest duty.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|The very essence of femininity, according to Chris. How else are we supposed to interpret this?]]

Chris allows himself to be controlled by his own desires, and has soaked in all sorts of knowledge about women primarily from [[anime]], [[video games]], and in particular [[pornography]], which Chris considers "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> He has had several problems realizing the difference between exaggerated stereotypes and the reality, as also evidenced by his [[Chris and race|racist remarks]].
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], he states that he uses the female bathroom, and that there is "no going back for him", not realizing that he is blatantly intruding upon the privacy of the women present, and disregarding their feelings (which, undoubtedly, can be summed up as pure terror).

This delusion regarding females is painfully obvious in Chris's interaction with women during his [[Love Quest]]. Chris takes on a completely passive role in his attraction strategy, waiting to be approached by women whom he thinks will take interest in his appearance, and who when in a relationship with him will look after him both financially and physically - essentially, a [[Barbara Chandler|maternal figure]]. Rather than aiming to better himself, Chris is looking to be fulfilled and served by women. Rather than having the full potential to use their talents in society, women's rights are the rights of women to bring pleasure to men as Chris sees fit. When Chris claimed to have lost his virginity to a hooker in [[April 2012]], he also said, quite bluntly, ''"My future sweetheart will find out about it",'' giving off the impression that whoever hooks up with him will just accept him sleeping with a prostitute right off the bat, and relegating the woman who finally took away his [[Virgin with rage|hated virginity]] to being nothing more than an organic [[Fapcup]]. This was proven true when in December 2014, he wrote this as a ''vow'' [[Catherine#Leaked_Information|on a card]] to his latest [[Trolls|sweetheart]], Catherine.

Much of Chris's sexism in relationships is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] – for example, he thought that if he was married to [[Ivy]] and was [[stress]]ed, he could go to a [[Zelina Rosechu|strip club]], but of course she could not; similarly, he suggested a MFF threesome with many of his sweethearts, but was horrified when Ivy suggested a [[Homos|MMF threesome]].<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> He even [[Mumble_7|supports the notion]] that it's okay to cheat on your spouse [[Chris_and_reality|as long as you have permission]], but he himself has shown nothing but utter contempt towards [[JERKS|anybody he deems a threat to his relationships]]. In a nutshell, this means that it's okay for ''him'' to sleep around just as long as he tells his girlfriend about it, but not okay for any sweetheart to do the same to him.

When confronted with his sexism, Chris becomes extremely indignant and offended.<ref>[[White_knight_e-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.94_Chris_denies_being_fat_and_sexist]]</ref> When his sexism is pointed out, he gets upset and clarifies that he would never harm a woman (though he has no problem [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|threatening to kill them]]). Chris seems to be under the impression that "sexism" basically means "physical abuse", and doesn't think portraying women as sexual objects obsessed with shopping is offensive or damaging.

It seems that in recent years, Chris has gotten even more demanding and aggressive in his attitude towards women. Read [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|this E-mail to Catherine]] leaked in 2014, where Chris gets annoyed when Catherine says no to a relationship (''[[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|big surprise]]''), where he basically insults the woman and blatantly ''claims that he's entitled to her'', right before whining about how depressed he is. He even goes on further to say that she should "appreciate the the hard work and effort I had put into US!!!", even though shortly before that he was [[I_Love_You,_Catherine|abusing her friends and telling her what she can and can't do]].

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Women's rights

2021-05-13T14:54:13Z

FellandFair:

[Honest]
{{Merge|Chris and gender}}
[[File:SchuComic8P58.jpg|thumb|Sure, sweetie. Now make me a sandwich, would ya?]]
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|Chris giving the thumbs up (and two fingers) to women's rights.]]
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.|Self-description<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}

One would think that a person who socialises almost exclusively [[Gal pal|with women]] and refers to all men aside from himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "[[JERKS|jerks]]" would be very supportive of '''women's rights'''. In the case of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], however, one would be mistaken. Women's rights, at least in Chris's mind, refer to the right of women to strip without interference, and the right of a woman not to be accused of having a [[pickle]].

Given his admitted love of the [[Pre-1980#1960s|1964]] classic ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', he presumably took the concept from the character of Mrs. Banks, who is a suffragette in 1910 London.<ref>Lyrics from "The Life I Lead": "It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / {{w|Edward VII of the United Kingdom|King Edward}}'s on the throne / It's the age of men!"</ref> Of course, Chris wouldn't have the first idea of what {{w|women's suffrage}} is, let alone the impact it had on world history, and why it was being shown in the movie in the first place.

Some of Chris's views suggest that he actually has a chauvinistic, if not outright misogynistic, idea of what a woman's role in a family must be. While Chris regularly talks up how great most women he's interacted with are (regardless of whether or not said praise is actually warranted), Chris's ideal woman is ultimately someone who will do all the work in caring for the family, while working a full-time job, and while mothering Chris while having [[Chris and sex|sex]] with him whenever he wants. Oddly, his views haven't changed much in spite of the fact that he now identifies as a [[transgender]] woman – [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris sees himself as having an exemption]] [[Chris and work|from these same responsibilities]] in a hypothetical relationship, [[Chris and his ego|because he's "special"]].

==Origin==

As stated, Chris's extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane and Michael in ''Mary Poppins'', a 1964 Disney film based on the book series by P. L. Travers. As the story is set in 1910 London, women did not yet have the right to vote, but there was a mass uprising of campaigns for women's franchise around this time, particularly from groups like the radical Suffragettes and the more moderate Suffragists. Mrs. Banks is the mother of the children and sings the second song, "Sister Suffragette", during which she mentions prominent women's campaigner {{w|Emmeline Pankhurst}} being arrested (again).<ref>"Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!"</ref>

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and opportunities as men. Chris, however, takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck whenever they want.

==In the comic==
{{quote|Proving something about woman's rights or something by having a girl strip naked...that's a conflicting message. I don't know what kind of message you are trying to portray. You say you care about women yet your pictures and other sayings all conflict with one another.|[[Vivian Gee]] <ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008]]</ref>}}
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|An example of Chris's disclaimers.]]
In the [[comics]], women are portrayed as only enjoying lots of sex, shopping, and cooking (not for themselves; they cook for the men). Similarly, when they go shopping, they buy clothes specifically to wear for their significant other/crush. They have stereotypical female attributes which Chris clearly believes are legitimate, such as them eating salad at McDonalds and [[Bionic the Hedgehog|squishing over male characters]], while being motivated only by the desire to [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|find a mate]] and please him with [[Sandy Rosechu|offspring]].

Chris's most prominent reference to women's rights occurs at the end of [[Episode 17]], in which the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] of [[CWCville]] '''strip naked''' to celebrate their victory over [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] (during which [[Rosechu]] ''rapes'' Howell (she's supposed to be the hero)) and assert their dominance over [[4-cent garbage.com]]. This scene also implies that women cannot vote in CWCville, because at one point, the Rosechus start singing the "votes for women" portion of the song "Step In Time". This brings up a sinister aspect of Chris's dictatorship over CWCville - he's passionate about batshit laws like making the consumption of [[Tobacky|tobacco]] punishable by imprisonment, yet the CWCville administration has never even considered voting rights for women (the United States have had equal voting rights for women since 1920). Considering how Chris tends to put women on a pedestal, you would think he would have addressed that already within ''Sonichu'' canon.

Despite their [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|phenomenal talent for fighting evil]], Chris depicts Rosechus as passive [[Sex toys|sexual objects]] for [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]. Reflecting Chris's own distorted image of women, the Rosechus in his comics tend to exhibit a desire to engage in stereotypical behavior, with occasional aggressive sexual overtures. Women also tend to act as deus ex machina plot devices - occasionally leaving their role as irrelevant supporting characters to engage in acts of great bravery and heroism. Often, the female characters offer nothing of any substantial narrative value. [[Rosechu]] is seen more often being rescued from ''damsel-in-distress'' situations then actually being a competent hero.

It is obvious that Chris is ''aware'' of the idea that objectifying women is frowned upon; every time he makes his female characters use their feminine qualities (to put it altogether too mildly), he is quick to add a disclaimer that he respects the women for ''both'' their minds and bodies, and/or make the claim that the characters are doing it because they want to fight for the rights of women. However, due to his [[autism|mental block]], he fails to understand that disclaimers like these make him appear to be a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite.]]

==In real life==
[[File:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|thumb|left|[[Layla]] performs a woman's highest duty.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|The very essence of femininity, according to Chris. How else are we supposed to interpret this?]]

Chris allows himself to be controlled by his own desires, and has soaked in all sorts of knowledge about women primarily from [[anime]], [[video games]], and in particular [[pornography]], which Chris considers "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> He has had several problems realizing the difference between exaggerated stereotypes and the reality, as also evidenced by his [[Chris and race|racist remarks]].
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], he states that he uses the female bathroom, and that there is "no going back for him", not realizing that he is blatantly intruding upon the privacy of the women present, and disregarding their feelings (which, undoubtedly, can be summed up as pure terror).

This delusion regarding females is painfully obvious in Chris's interaction with women during his [[Love Quest]]. Chris takes on a completely passive role in his attraction strategy, waiting to be approached by women whom he thinks will take interest in his appearance, and who when in a relationship with him will look after him both financially and physically - essentially, a [[Barbara Chandler|maternal figure]]. Rather than aiming to better himself, Chris is looking to be fulfilled and served by women. Rather than having the full potential to use their talents in society, women's rights are the rights of women to bring pleasure to men as Chris sees fit. When Chris claimed to have lost his virginity to a hooker in [[April 2012]], he also said, quite bluntly, ''"My future sweetheart will find out about it",'' giving off the impression that whoever hooks up with him will just accept him sleeping with a prostitute right off the bat, and relegating the woman who finally took away his [[Virgin with rage|hated virginity]] to being nothing more than an organic [[Fapcup]]. This was proven true when in December 2014, he wrote this as a ''vow'' [[Catherine#Leaked_Information|on a card]] to his latest [[Trolls|sweetheart]], Catherine.

Much of Chris's sexism in relationships is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] – for example, he thought that if he was married to [[Ivy]] and was [[stress]]ed, he could go to a [[Zelina Rosechu|strip club]], but of course she could not; similarly, he suggested a MFF threesome with many of his sweethearts, but was horrified when Ivy suggested a [[Homos|MMF threesome]].<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> He even [[Mumble_7|supports the notion]] that it's okay to cheat on your spouse [[Chris_and_reality|as long as you have permission]], but he himself has shown nothing but utter contempt towards [[JERKS|anybody he deems a threat to his relationships]]. In a nutshell, this means that it's okay for ''him'' to sleep around just as long as he tells his girlfriend about it, but not okay for any sweetheart to do the same to him.

When confronted with his sexism, Chris becomes extremely indignant and offended.<ref>[[White_knight_e-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.94_Chris_denies_being_fat_and_sexist]]</ref> When his sexism is pointed out, he gets upset and clarifies that he would never harm a woman (though he has no problem [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|threatening to kill them]]). Chris seems to be under the impression that "sexism" basically means "physical abuse", and doesn't think portraying women as sexual objects obsessed with shopping is offensive or damaging.

It seems that in recent years, Chris has gotten even more demanding and aggressive in his attitude towards women. Read [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|this E-mail to Catherine]] leaked in 2014, where Chris gets annoyed when Catherine says no to a relationship (''[[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|big surprise]]''), where he basically insults the woman and blatantly ''claims that he's entitled to her'', right before whining about how depressed he is. He even goes on further to say that she should "appreciate the the hard work and effort I had put into US!!!", even though shortly before that he was [[I_Love_You,_Catherine|abusing her friends and telling her what she can and can't do]].

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Women's rights

2021-05-13T14:53:58Z

FellandFair: nsfw warning

{Honest}
{{Merge|Chris and gender}}
[[File:SchuComic8P58.jpg|thumb|Sure, sweetie. Now make me a sandwich, would ya?]]
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|Chris giving the thumbs up (and two fingers) to women's rights.]]
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.|Self-description<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}

One would think that a person who socialises almost exclusively [[Gal pal|with women]] and refers to all men aside from himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "[[JERKS|jerks]]" would be very supportive of '''women's rights'''. In the case of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], however, one would be mistaken. Women's rights, at least in Chris's mind, refer to the right of women to strip without interference, and the right of a woman not to be accused of having a [[pickle]].

Given his admitted love of the [[Pre-1980#1960s|1964]] classic ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', he presumably took the concept from the character of Mrs. Banks, who is a suffragette in 1910 London.<ref>Lyrics from "The Life I Lead": "It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / {{w|Edward VII of the United Kingdom|King Edward}}'s on the throne / It's the age of men!"</ref> Of course, Chris wouldn't have the first idea of what {{w|women's suffrage}} is, let alone the impact it had on world history, and why it was being shown in the movie in the first place.

Some of Chris's views suggest that he actually has a chauvinistic, if not outright misogynistic, idea of what a woman's role in a family must be. While Chris regularly talks up how great most women he's interacted with are (regardless of whether or not said praise is actually warranted), Chris's ideal woman is ultimately someone who will do all the work in caring for the family, while working a full-time job, and while mothering Chris while having [[Chris and sex|sex]] with him whenever he wants. Oddly, his views haven't changed much in spite of the fact that he now identifies as a [[transgender]] woman – [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris sees himself as having an exemption]] [[Chris and work|from these same responsibilities]] in a hypothetical relationship, [[Chris and his ego|because he's "special"]].

==Origin==

As stated, Chris's extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane and Michael in ''Mary Poppins'', a 1964 Disney film based on the book series by P. L. Travers. As the story is set in 1910 London, women did not yet have the right to vote, but there was a mass uprising of campaigns for women's franchise around this time, particularly from groups like the radical Suffragettes and the more moderate Suffragists. Mrs. Banks is the mother of the children and sings the second song, "Sister Suffragette", during which she mentions prominent women's campaigner {{w|Emmeline Pankhurst}} being arrested (again).<ref>"Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!"</ref>

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and opportunities as men. Chris, however, takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck whenever they want.

==In the comic==
{{quote|Proving something about woman's rights or something by having a girl strip naked...that's a conflicting message. I don't know what kind of message you are trying to portray. You say you care about women yet your pictures and other sayings all conflict with one another.|[[Vivian Gee]] <ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008]]</ref>}}
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|An example of Chris's disclaimers.]]
In the [[comics]], women are portrayed as only enjoying lots of sex, shopping, and cooking (not for themselves; they cook for the men). Similarly, when they go shopping, they buy clothes specifically to wear for their significant other/crush. They have stereotypical female attributes which Chris clearly believes are legitimate, such as them eating salad at McDonalds and [[Bionic the Hedgehog|squishing over male characters]], while being motivated only by the desire to [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|find a mate]] and please him with [[Sandy Rosechu|offspring]].

Chris's most prominent reference to women's rights occurs at the end of [[Episode 17]], in which the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] of [[CWCville]] '''strip naked''' to celebrate their victory over [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] (during which [[Rosechu]] ''rapes'' Howell (she's supposed to be the hero)) and assert their dominance over [[4-cent garbage.com]]. This scene also implies that women cannot vote in CWCville, because at one point, the Rosechus start singing the "votes for women" portion of the song "Step In Time". This brings up a sinister aspect of Chris's dictatorship over CWCville - he's passionate about batshit laws like making the consumption of [[Tobacky|tobacco]] punishable by imprisonment, yet the CWCville administration has never even considered voting rights for women (the United States have had equal voting rights for women since 1920). Considering how Chris tends to put women on a pedestal, you would think he would have addressed that already within ''Sonichu'' canon.

Despite their [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|phenomenal talent for fighting evil]], Chris depicts Rosechus as passive [[Sex toys|sexual objects]] for [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]. Reflecting Chris's own distorted image of women, the Rosechus in his comics tend to exhibit a desire to engage in stereotypical behavior, with occasional aggressive sexual overtures. Women also tend to act as deus ex machina plot devices - occasionally leaving their role as irrelevant supporting characters to engage in acts of great bravery and heroism. Often, the female characters offer nothing of any substantial narrative value. [[Rosechu]] is seen more often being rescued from ''damsel-in-distress'' situations then actually being a competent hero.

It is obvious that Chris is ''aware'' of the idea that objectifying women is frowned upon; every time he makes his female characters use their feminine qualities (to put it altogether too mildly), he is quick to add a disclaimer that he respects the women for ''both'' their minds and bodies, and/or make the claim that the characters are doing it because they want to fight for the rights of women. However, due to his [[autism|mental block]], he fails to understand that disclaimers like these make him appear to be a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite.]]

==In real life==
[[File:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|thumb|left|[[Layla]] performs a woman's highest duty.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|The very essence of femininity, according to Chris. How else are we supposed to interpret this?]]

Chris allows himself to be controlled by his own desires, and has soaked in all sorts of knowledge about women primarily from [[anime]], [[video games]], and in particular [[pornography]], which Chris considers "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> He has had several problems realizing the difference between exaggerated stereotypes and the reality, as also evidenced by his [[Chris and race|racist remarks]].
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], he states that he uses the female bathroom, and that there is "no going back for him", not realizing that he is blatantly intruding upon the privacy of the women present, and disregarding their feelings (which, undoubtedly, can be summed up as pure terror).

This delusion regarding females is painfully obvious in Chris's interaction with women during his [[Love Quest]]. Chris takes on a completely passive role in his attraction strategy, waiting to be approached by women whom he thinks will take interest in his appearance, and who when in a relationship with him will look after him both financially and physically - essentially, a [[Barbara Chandler|maternal figure]]. Rather than aiming to better himself, Chris is looking to be fulfilled and served by women. Rather than having the full potential to use their talents in society, women's rights are the rights of women to bring pleasure to men as Chris sees fit. When Chris claimed to have lost his virginity to a hooker in [[April 2012]], he also said, quite bluntly, ''"My future sweetheart will find out about it",'' giving off the impression that whoever hooks up with him will just accept him sleeping with a prostitute right off the bat, and relegating the woman who finally took away his [[Virgin with rage|hated virginity]] to being nothing more than an organic [[Fapcup]]. This was proven true when in December 2014, he wrote this as a ''vow'' [[Catherine#Leaked_Information|on a card]] to his latest [[Trolls|sweetheart]], Catherine.

Much of Chris's sexism in relationships is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] – for example, he thought that if he was married to [[Ivy]] and was [[stress]]ed, he could go to a [[Zelina Rosechu|strip club]], but of course she could not; similarly, he suggested a MFF threesome with many of his sweethearts, but was horrified when Ivy suggested a [[Homos|MMF threesome]].<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> He even [[Mumble_7|supports the notion]] that it's okay to cheat on your spouse [[Chris_and_reality|as long as you have permission]], but he himself has shown nothing but utter contempt towards [[JERKS|anybody he deems a threat to his relationships]]. In a nutshell, this means that it's okay for ''him'' to sleep around just as long as he tells his girlfriend about it, but not okay for any sweetheart to do the same to him.

When confronted with his sexism, Chris becomes extremely indignant and offended.<ref>[[White_knight_e-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.94_Chris_denies_being_fat_and_sexist]]</ref> When his sexism is pointed out, he gets upset and clarifies that he would never harm a woman (though he has no problem [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|threatening to kill them]]). Chris seems to be under the impression that "sexism" basically means "physical abuse", and doesn't think portraying women as sexual objects obsessed with shopping is offensive or damaging.

It seems that in recent years, Chris has gotten even more demanding and aggressive in his attitude towards women. Read [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|this E-mail to Catherine]] leaked in 2014, where Chris gets annoyed when Catherine says no to a relationship (''[[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|big surprise]]''), where he basically insults the woman and blatantly ''claims that he's entitled to her'', right before whining about how depressed he is. He even goes on further to say that she should "appreciate the the hard work and effort I had put into US!!!", even though shortly before that he was [[I_Love_You,_Catherine|abusing her friends and telling her what she can and can't do]].

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User:FellandFair

2021-05-03T15:08:39Z

FellandFair: Created page with "Idk i just wanted a user page so i have one now"

Idk i just wanted a user page so i have one now

Chris and music

2021-04-13T13:12:34Z

FellandFair: Moved rockin away picture down the page a bit so someone doesn't have that on their screen before they read the NSFW warning. Feel free to move back.

{{Honest}}
[[File:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|thumb|[[Chris's Big Night Out|Sonichu's still rockin' in my head!]]]]

[[Chris]] is a big fan of '''music'''; he listens to tracks from many genres and decades, though mostly pop and rock. At first glance, his eclectic taste in music is [[#Musical tastes|not too unconventional]]. It's the ways he's presented his taste over the years that are pretty unconventional – most people understand that a [[Gitar of Fail|''Guitar Hero'' controller]] is not a real instrument, but Chris isn't most people.

Chris is also infamous for overestimating his singing ability and music recording methods, despite having trouble remembering the [[Rebel Girl|lyrics]], [[Lovin' You|melodies]], the [[#Chris and tone-deafness|pitch]], and even [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|the instruments used]] in his favorite songs. Nevertheless, Chris has dabbled in music production, with [[Template:Music Videos|over sixty]] covers, [[parody|parodies]], and "original" songs. He loves music so much, he is turned on by the very concept of it.

==Musical tastes==
Chris has often remarked that he likes "all popular music". While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|3]] [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|horrible]] [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|albums]] was a top 40 hit in America or another country, or otherwise either a deep cut on a successful album, a B-side on a successful single or EP, or songs featured on the soundtracks to either hit movies such as ''[[Pokémon]]: The First Movie'', or video games such as ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and ''[[Rock Band]]''.
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|[[CWCRockin4Way|This]] is obviously [[Hanky-panky|what music is all about]].]]

It is worth noting that parts of Chris's taste in music aren't too unconventional: many people do have a deep interest in multiple genres and decades, and many Adult Contemporary and Classic Hits stations are living proof. The genres Chris tends to favor, specifically pop and rock, are also popular and mainstream. It's also common for people to develop an interest in songs from means such as video games, movies, radio, television, their [[Borb|parents']] music collection, etc.

Chris has stated his favorite radio station is {{w|WQMZ|Z95.1 WQMZ}} from [[Charlottesville]], which plays nothing but inoffensive popular songs (specifically from the 1980s to today) that you're likely to hear in the dentist's office. The station bills its offerings as "today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for [[Tomgirl|women]]".<ref>[http://www.z95.net Z95.1 homepage]</ref> Chris listens to the [[John Tesh]] radio show on this station, and once won a set of tickets to a [[Greene County Conspiracy|sporting event]] through a call-in contest. He has left his radio on before during his videos as well as a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, for the whole conversation. This meant that he both enjoyed the background music and was totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

The only specific artist Chris seems to truly idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because of her beauty than her music, or for [[Britney Spears#Britney and Chris's past|memories]] of [[Manchester High School|happier times]]. On his date with [[Emily]], he claimed to like Louis Armstrong in an effort to look like a [[Bob Chandler|sophisticated jazz listener]].

If his past downloads on Rhapsody (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'', ''Rock Band'', or ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' game. This adds yet more [[Obesity|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3|video games]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most kids are [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|unaware]] [[Ghostbusters|of]] or [[Red Skelton|would]] [[I Love Lucy|not]] [[Gilligan's Island|enjoy]], Chris has twice referenced {{w|Billy Joel}}'s upbeat 1985 track "{{w|You're Only Human (Second Wind)}}", a dated but memorable reggae-pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from [[Ryan Cash|killing themselves]]. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|relieving yourself]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with utterly no elaboration at all, that he had "a lot to live for" and told said fan to go listen to the song.

Chris has also expressed a fondness for {{w|Insane Clown Posse}}, releasing [[Hello, Juffalo|two]] [[JuggaloShoutOut|videos]] in which he paints his face and talks about being a {{w|Juggalo}}. Since fans of ICP tend to be stereotyped as [[slow-in-the-minds|idiotic]], [[Chris and health|out-of-shape]], [[Ruckersville|white-trash]] jerkasses who believe themselves to be outcasts of society, it is easy to understand why becoming a Juggalo would appeal to Chris.

{{quote| I like [[JERKS|men]] as I like Heavy Metal "Music"; I Do Not Like Heavy Metal Music; hardly a real beat or tune, and the lyrics are incoherent.|Chris' incoherent words about the incoherency of heavy metal.}}

In a Patreon post made on 4 August 2017, Chris reveals that he has a distaste for heavy metal music. To him, all hard rock music [[chris and hypocrisy|has little to no real beats or music, and he finds the lyrics hard to follow.]]<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/delay-in-this-13668547</ref>

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his [[YouTube]] videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured {{w|Aerosmith}} in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "{{w|Eye of the Tiger}}" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "{{w|Can't Fight This Feeling}}". The [[100 2189|third time]] he announced his [[Internet#Attempts to leave the Internet|leaving from the internet]], he chose, of all songs, Colbie Caillat's "{{w|Fallin' for You (Colbie Caillat song)|Fallin' for You}}" as background music--although this most likely was just him leaving the radio on in the background.

In his [[I Love You, Catherine|videos]] [[To Mr. Smith|made in]] [[Brushfire Video|2014]], Chris took to playing sappy 1950s orchestral music in the background. This appears to be an attempt to garner sympathy given his recent difficulties in life, or it could just be yet another acquired taste from his parents.

Many videos filmed during the [[Financhu Crisis]] feature default background music from the PS4 game The Playroom. The common theme is a slow looping electronic piece with beeping square-wave synths and synth pads. YouTube commenters have branded this tune the "Financhu Crisis Theme".

==Musical talent==
===Songwriting===
[[Image:FeelOurLoveAtPlay.jpg|thumb|left|A glimpse at Chris's songwriting process.]]
Most of Chris's songwriting output has been him singing his original lyrics over copyrighted songs. He doesn't consider his songs to be [[parodies]], but rather serious compositions that [[Things Chris has ripped off|happen to share]] tunes with popular songs. Writing a good parody also requires a good grasp on lyricism, which Chris doesn't really seem to have. If anything, Chris's music is {{w|Plunderphonics|plunderphonics}}, a controversial genre built around sampling and altering existing recordings.

Chris's lyrics tend to be autobiographical. His [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|2003 album]] showed insight into Chris's [[Virgin with rage|loneliness]] and [[Psychology|thought processes]]. He also included several Sonichu anthems on the album, and he attempted [[Spanish]] music with "[[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]", not knowing that Casanova was Italian. The album was fairly eclectic in lyrical topics and musical feel, though most of the tunes were either pop songs taken from the late 1990s or were songs used in [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] media. Chris's [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]] took songs from even more genres, and included a lot of 1970s and 1980s music. However, his lyrical focus got narrower, and he wrote nearly all the songs about [[Ivy]]. His [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|third and most recent attempt an an album]] follows a similar pattern to his second, taking songs from the 1980s and 1990s of various genres including pop rock, country, punk, and Hi-NRG. Notably, Chris does not make any major changes to the lyrical content of these songs, only changing words that could imply he was gay.

Chris's lyrics don't always fit the mood or context of the song. A good songwriter uses lyrics that reflect the music and paint an emotional picture. If they do use lyrical dissonance, it's intentional or for ironic effect. Chris, however, seems to not care either way. Consider his second-biggest hit, "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]". The original song, "Larger than Life", has an upbeat vibe. Chris, however, rewrote the song with [[ego|self-pitying]] downer lyrics about being a lonely outcast with few friends, all while the exuberant backing track plays. The closest thing the song has to a positive twist is him bragging about his supposed intelligence.

Chris also doesn't appear to grasp the concept of weight in lyrics, especially with hooks. The hook of "[[So Need a Cute Girl]]" is "I have a boyfriend!". Those who don't pay much attention to lyrics will hear that part stand out the most, making it sound like Chris is singing about [[homos|him having a boyfriend.]]

Chris's rhymes are elementary and sometimes forced. In "[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]", he rhymes "eighteen to twenty-two" with "boyfriend free too" before plugging Match.com. In "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", he says "Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity." In addition to rhyming "lonely" with "virginity," he opts to say "remove" when "lose" would have worked much better and sounded less robotic.

Chris's attempts at figurative language fall flat. In [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]], he pens the truism "Traveling without a map/Is like traveling with no map." In A-U-T-I-S-M, he sings "I'm lookin' at you all, and I see a rainbow, come on!" It's not clear what he means by this: Rainbows are usually used as a symbol of [[homos|homosexuality]], but he could be using it as a workaround metaphor for the [[autism]] spectrum. There are very few metaphors in Chris's music that aren't either nonsense or clichés, and much of it is quite rigid and literal.

Chris has written a few truly original songs, but the results are riddled with a healthy dose of [[random-access humor]]. His best example, [[I Got A Fish]], stands out with its catchy-but-meaningless symbolism. His more recent song, [[It's snowing]], shifts its tone from soft to aggressive as he sings "Snowing, snowing, snowing is falling and we're inside at home, with eggs, for breakfast TO MAKE OMELETS WITH!" His original melodies are quite sing-songy and straddle the boundaries between singing and talking. Which brings us to...

===Singing===
{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu_Girls#Introduction_.2830_December_2008.29|being sadly mistaken]].}}

[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|"''You've seen life through distorted eyes,
 You know you had to learn,
 The execution of your mind,
 You really had to turn''"]]

It is impossible to overstate how much of a terrible singer Chris is. It is similarly impossible to overstate [[Chris and reality|how deluded Chris is]] about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront Liquid via artistic competition, he lost [[SingStar Challenge|a challenge that he nominated himself]].

Despite claiming to have a "deep bass voice"<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_got_his_degree_for_Cwcville]]</ref>, Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an [[Autism|odd, emotionless monotone]]. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, as well as the only album from [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]], he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song (as he never bothers to look up karaoke/instrumental-only versions of anything he sings). This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing "[[Sonichu Zip]]", a song that uses the Japanese theme song to the anime ''Sonic X'', "Sonic Drive". The fast tempo and lyrics of "Sonic Drive" result in Chris rapidly dissolving into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is almost completely tone-deaf; his [[Speech impediment|voice]] fluctuates in pitch with little to no regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over. Occasionally he's [[SingStar Challenge Round 2|barely managed]] [[I Got A Fish|to carry a tune]], though. If Chris could sing at all, his voice type would be at best a {{w|Tenor#Tenor buffo or Spieltenor|spieltenor}} (used for [[Random-access humor|comical]] roles) pushing towards {{w|countertenor}}, a pitch range octaves above the bass range he claims to have, and a tessitura (note range) too high for many ''[[Gal-Pals|women]]''.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with tempo and entries. While the songs he's written usually manage to match the originals in terms of lyrical rhythms, Chris often pushes ahead or pulls back from the tempo of the song. This is sometimes done deliberately by singers and is called ''rubato'', but in Chris's case it is generally the result of messing up lyrics or having too many or few words for the rhythm ([[Chris and Writing|usually the former]]), and Chris's tenuous sense of pulse means that once he gets thrown offbeat he struggles (usually in vain) to recover. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice or revise, but since this entails work it is flatly out of the question. Also owing to this nonexistent practice ethic is Chris being completely terrible at remembering the actual words to the song he's singing. The only part he tends to know is the chorus of the song, likely because the repetition makes it the only part of the song he pays attention to. Between choruses, however, he often forgets the words and improvises lyrics, which invariably consist of mumbled incoherent nonsense.

====''A cappella''====
''A cappella'' is a musical technique that entails using nothing but the human voice (and sometimes the body) to produce music. In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a cappella'' renditions of what one can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a man in his mid-30s (who looks like he's 45) showing us his ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' crossover and shouting "dun dun dun". Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. He also performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" by Europe while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]], and an equally-as-awful version of Q Lazzarus's "Goodbye Horses" while [[It's not that cold|pretending to dig up his dead dog and wear it as a coat]]. And let's not forget "[[Lovin' You]]", where he attempts to do ''a cappella'', but thanks to a sheer lack of practice, simply ends up massacring a Minnie Riperton classic by singing it completely out of tune (and tempo).

Despite his frequent use of ''a cappella'', Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequent source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video, which Chris vehemently claimed was a violation of the rules regarding backing tracks. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a cappella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the popularity of artists like {{w|Eminem}}, {{w|Macklemore}}, {{w|Post Malone}}, and {{w|Jedi Mind Tricks}}, plus the odd continued existence of {{w|Nerdcore|nerdcore}}, white guys rapping on [[YouTube]] is not unheard of. [[Liquid Chris|Some of these individuals]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 2#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|demonstrate impressive talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Chris is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the PaRappa contest. While his motivations and the drama it caused are covered extensively in that article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result can best be described as sounding like a drunk Muppet being startled every 30 seconds; Chris slurring his words together constantly and periodically yelling lyrics for no reason.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a [[PSP]] and she don't So give me the PSP, Unwrap the wrapper So I can give one to her, And then we can play together!|Chris, almost rhyming.}}

This, however, was nothing compared to a [[SHE IS MINE NOW|later foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of any sort of backbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy! And you still chicken, you's a dang coward! You wanna come fight me? Come fight me in person [[Hypocrisy|Come out from behind the camera]], you fool!|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would rap once again to Insane Clown Posse's side-project {{w|Dark Lotus}}. As usual, he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper to unconvincing effect. During a portion of the video, he simply mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo Juffalo], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related glam rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens [[Cakefarts|the effects of these vitamins]] to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger raping a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs.

===Instruments===
[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|**clickclickclick** It's like I'm playing real guitar, y'all!]]
[[Image:295.jpg|thumb|The (only) other instrument Chris's good at.]]

{{quote|I would play my ax on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit.|[[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in several videos, Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail|''Guitar Hero'' controller]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright foolish, even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|"creations"]] are [[Things Chris has ripped off|copies of other things]], yet are still [[Chris and copyright|somehow completely original]]. So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his autistic mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song, no matter if the song is a cover of the original, which necessitates a legitimate instrument on which to play it.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated Liquid's actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the SingStar Challenge.

{{quote|I got the idea of the challenge from him COPYING me playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on Guitar Hero on his old Wooden Nickel; if he wants to copy on Guitar, he may as well be challenged in a Sing-Off.|Chris, [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|blowing the minds of guitarists of all talent levels]]}}

{{quote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.|Chris, inspiring the hatred of people who like music everywhere}}

Chris has attempted actual guitar playing after [[Kim Wilson]] suggested it, but he didn't stick with it. He demoed a guitar at Best Buy, strumming randomly on the strings. Chris believed his random open-string strumming sounded good. He mentioned to [[Kacey]] he was planning on saving up to buy the genuine axe, and that he was going to start taking lessons. He never ended up buying it, presumably put off by the [[stress]] of practice. <ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref>

===Chris and tone-deafness===

It is telling that not only does Chris lack any sense of pitch in singing, but with melodies in general. This is evidenced in the [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_1|Wedding Anniversary Special]], where he claims to be playing the original theme to Sonic the Hedgehog but ends up with some wildly unrecognizable tune that only vaguely resembles the Sonic theme rhythmically. This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that ''Chris is actually tone-deaf,'' instead of simply lacking in vocal skills.

Some think it's a symptom of autism, as subtleties in tone and intonation indicating emotional and social cues are beyond his grasp, which in turn would affect recognition of pitch changes in music. However, something isn't right; in fact, autistic people are more likely to have perfect pitch than non-autistics<ref>https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/people-with-autism-can-hear-more-than-most-which-can-be-a-strength-and-a-challenge-a7715266.html</ref>, an ability shared with Mozart, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Charlie Puth and others. So if plenty of fellow autistics have this otherwise rare musical gift, why did Chris end up with the opposite?

The [[autism papers]] provides a great clue; Chris lost some of his high-frequency hearing in early childhood.<ref>[[Autism_papers#SOCIAL_HISTORY:]]</ref>

==Recording method==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his [[PS3]] and the near-$1,000 [[Sony]] LCD HDTV and the most expensive speakers his [[tugboat]] could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with the long-suffering [[PSEye]] camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance because the acoustics of the room distorts the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that [[Chris and his Ego|everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone]], just like his art.
* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version/cover, or the song's stem files.
* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect...[[The Simpsons|d'oh]], who are we kidding?

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed that there are plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free, many of which come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==Business==
[[File:Negative.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Negative'' cover art.]]
[[File:Negative_booklet_innards.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Negative'' booklet.]]
[[File:Chris Chan and Boi Spicy.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Love is Love'' cover art.]]
[[File:Trap_Top_Neon_Vol_1.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Trap Top Neon Vol. 1'' cover art.]]
[[File:Cone Attacks!.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Cone Attacks!'' cover art.]]

On 2 [[February 2015]], Chris revealed that he drew the artwork to the album ''Negative'' by L'eclipse Nue. L'eclipse Nue is an obscure {{w|Harsh noise|harsh noise}} act, whose music largely consists of ear-piercing screeches and low rumbling sounds – quite inaccessible for our Britney Spears-loving hero. Chris gave a brief review of the album, claiming that it reminded him of "[[My Little Pony|Pinkie Pie]] playing a {{w|Theremin|theramin}} [sic]", and stating that he could "sense the emotions and depressions expressed behind the music". Chris has almost certainly not listened to the album.

The cover booklet in the special-edition physical release of the album reveals that the entire album was focused around the cruddy picture Chris had drawn for them, along with a description of the piece.

{{quotebox|"I have seen into the torment of the deceased woman; 
she may have had a life's career if posing nude for art, 
as well as offering herself to the numerous artists. 
[[Autism|Take from that what you will.]] 
And now she haunts the number of artists and photographers 
who did really wrong her in her life."}}

Dan states in the booklet that:

{{quotebox|"The sounds herein were created in order to illustrate that story. 
This album is a soundtrack to Christian's [[Chris and art|art]]."}}

Therein this whole album, and every sound in it, is inspired entirely by Chris's art.

In February 2018, Chris was approached by "international boy-band sensation", Boi Spicy, to do a feature for their album ''The Never-Ending Journey To Boi-Town, USA''. Instead of doing something original like they requested, he decided to use his trademark laziness and make them record "[[Love is Love]]". To further stoke his [[Chris and his Ego|ego]], he drew a cover for Love is Love, intending it to be released as a single.

On 19 [[July 2019]], the release of ''Trap Top Neon Vol. 1'' by Easy-K Beats marks the third time Chris became the artist of an album cover. Chris simply redrew the cover art from the [[Internet Dream Lounge]], of which Easy-K Beats was the co-host, drawing himself into the scene in a show of his ego.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5066806</ref>

21 [[August 2019]] saw the fourth time Chris of being commissioned for an album cover for the release of ''Cone Attacks!'' by MC Cone. However, being the lazy autist that he is, the cover art and in turn, the album was delayed until 5 [[September 2019]] after many complaints from the commissioner.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/post-5284988</ref>

In addition, many of Chris's fans request him to sing in [[Paid Video Requests]].

==Music fetish==
Chris doesn't just love music, he's even turned on by the ''very concept'' of it. In [[February 2017]], although he's made passing mentions of it before, Chris stated on [[Facebook]] he gets aroused when listening to music--any music, not just certain songs. This includes music featured on ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Aroused by Sailor Moon music]]</ref> As always, [[Pedofork|make of that what you will]].

Finally, being aroused by music is not unique to Chris: otherwise, love songs such as "{{w|Tonight, I Celebrate My Love}}" or "{{w|Always (Atlantic Starr song)|Always}}" would have not done well in the charts, and pop singers like Madonna wouldn't insert sexual innuendos into their hits. That said, most people aren't turned on by the very ''concept'' of music as a whole.

It is possible that Chris, given his confusion [[Chris and sex|regarding sex as a whole]], may be conflating this arousal with the phenomenon of {{w|Frisson|frisson}}, a pleasant feeling that listeners experience when listening to music, often observed when listening to certain styles of music, or features of a given piece - this sensation is variously described as 'tingling' or 'chills'.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SONICHU The Album ! New From CWC-Tel
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fMwAgMXH9mU}}
| stardate = 1 [[January 2019]]
| maker = rEdf196
| subject =[[music]]
| type =
| info =
}}
==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Music]]

Chris and music

2021-03-29T14:58:45Z

FellandFair: fixed NSFW warning

{{Honest}}
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|[[CWCRockin4Way|This]] is obviously [[Hanky-panky|what music is all about]].]]
[[File:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|thumb|[[Chris's Big Night Out|Sonichu's still rockin' in my head!]]]]

[[Chris]] is a big fan of '''music'''; he listens to tracks from many genres and decades, though mostly pop and rock. At first glance, his eclectic taste in music is [[#Musical tastes|not too unconventional]]. It's the ways he's presented his taste over the years that are pretty unconventional – most people understand that a [[Gitar of Fail|''Guitar Hero'' controller]] is not a real instrument, but Chris isn't most people.

Chris is also infamous for overestimating his singing ability and music recording methods, despite having trouble remembering the [[Rebel Girl|lyrics]], [[Lovin' You|melodies]], the [[#Chris and tone-deafness|pitch]], and even [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|the instruments used]] in his favorite songs. Nevertheless, Chris has dabbled in music production, with [[Template:Music Videos|over sixty]] covers, [[parody|parodies]], and "original" songs. He loves music so much, he is turned on by the very concept of it.

==Musical tastes==
Chris has often remarked that he likes "all popular music". While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|3]] [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|horrible]] [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|albums]] was a top 40 hit in America or another country, or otherwise either a deep cut on a successful album, a B-side on a successful single or EP, or songs featured on the soundtracks to either hit movies such as ''[[Pokémon]]: The First Movie'', or video games such as ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and ''[[Rock Band]]''.

It is worth noting that parts of Chris's taste in music aren't too unconventional: many people do have a deep interest in multiple genres and decades, and many Adult Contemporary and Classic Hits stations are living proof. The genres Chris tends to favor, specifically pop and rock, are also popular and mainstream. It's also common for people to develop an interest in songs from means such as video games, movies, radio, television, their [[Borb|parents']] music collection, etc.

Chris has stated his favorite radio station is {{w|WQMZ|Z95.1 WQMZ}} from [[Charlottesville]], which plays nothing but inoffensive popular songs (specifically from the 1980s to today) that you're likely to hear in the dentist's office. The station bills its offerings as "today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for [[Tomgirl|women]]".<ref>[http://www.z95.net Z95.1 homepage]</ref> Chris listens to the [[John Tesh]] radio show on this station, and once won a set of tickets to a [[Greene County Conspiracy|sporting event]] through a call-in contest. He has left his radio on before during his videos as well as a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, for the whole conversation. This meant that he both enjoyed the background music and was totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

The only specific artist Chris seems to truly idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because of her beauty than her music, or for [[Britney Spears#Britney and Chris's past|memories]] of [[Manchester High School|happier times]]. On his date with [[Emily]], he claimed to like Louis Armstrong in an effort to look like a [[Bob Chandler|sophisticated jazz listener]].

If his past downloads on Rhapsody (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'', ''Rock Band'', or ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' game. This adds yet more [[Obesity|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3|video games]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most kids are [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|unaware]] [[Ghostbusters|of]] or [[Red Skelton|would]] [[I Love Lucy|not]] [[Gilligan's Island|enjoy]], Chris has twice referenced {{w|Billy Joel}}'s upbeat 1985 track "{{w|You're Only Human (Second Wind)}}", a dated but memorable reggae-pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from [[Ryan Cash|killing themselves]]. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|relieving yourself]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with utterly no elaboration at all, that he had "a lot to live for" and told said fan to go listen to the song.

Chris has also expressed a fondness for {{w|Insane Clown Posse}}, releasing [[Hello, Juffalo|two]] [[JuggaloShoutOut|videos]] in which he paints his face and talks about being a {{w|Juggalo}}. Since fans of ICP tend to be stereotyped as [[slow-in-the-minds|idiotic]], [[Chris and health|out-of-shape]], [[Ruckersville|white-trash]] jerkasses who believe themselves to be outcasts of society, it is easy to understand why becoming a Juggalo would appeal to Chris.

{{quote| I like [[JERKS|men]] as I like Heavy Metal "Music"; I Do Not Like Heavy Metal Music; hardly a real beat or tune, and the lyrics are incoherent.|Chris' incoherent words about the incoherency of heavy metal.}}

In a Patreon post made on 4 August 2017, Chris reveals that he has a distaste for heavy metal music. To him, all hard rock music [[chris and hypocrisy|has little to no real beats or music, and he finds the lyrics hard to follow.]]<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/delay-in-this-13668547</ref>

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his [[YouTube]] videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured {{w|Aerosmith}} in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "{{w|Eye of the Tiger}}" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "{{w|Can't Fight This Feeling}}". The [[100 2189|third time]] he announced his [[Internet#Attempts to leave the Internet|leaving from the internet]], he chose, of all songs, Colbie Caillat's "{{w|Fallin' for You (Colbie Caillat song)|Fallin' for You}}" as background music--although this most likely was just him leaving the radio on in the background.

In his [[I Love You, Catherine|videos]] [[To Mr. Smith|made in]] [[Brushfire Video|2014]], Chris took to playing sappy 1950s orchestral music in the background. This appears to be an attempt to garner sympathy given his recent difficulties in life, or it could just be yet another acquired taste from his parents.

Many videos filmed during the [[Financhu Crisis]] feature default background music from the PS4 game The Playroom. The common theme is a slow looping electronic piece with beeping square-wave synths and synth pads. YouTube commenters have branded this tune the "Financhu Crisis Theme".

==Musical talent==
===Songwriting===
[[Image:FeelOurLoveAtPlay.jpg|thumb|left|A glimpse at Chris's songwriting process.]]
Most of Chris's songwriting output has been him singing his original lyrics over copyrighted songs. He doesn't consider his songs to be [[parodies]], but rather serious compositions that [[Things Chris has ripped off|happen to share]] tunes with popular songs. Writing a good parody also requires a good grasp on lyricism, which Chris doesn't really seem to have. If anything, Chris's music is {{w|Plunderphonics|plunderphonics}}, a controversial genre built around sampling and altering existing recordings.

Chris's lyrics tend to be autobiographical. His [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|2003 album]] showed insight into Chris's [[Virgin with rage|loneliness]] and [[Psychology|thought processes]]. He also included several Sonichu anthems on the album, and he attempted [[Spanish]] music with "[[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]", not knowing that Casanova was Italian. The album was fairly eclectic in lyrical topics and musical feel, though most of the tunes were either pop songs taken from the late 1990s or were songs used in [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] media. Chris's [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]] took songs from even more genres, and included a lot of 1970s and 1980s music. However, his lyrical focus got narrower, and he wrote nearly all the songs about [[Ivy]]. His [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|third and most recent attempt an an album]] follows a similar pattern to his second, taking songs from the 1980s and 1990s of various genres including pop rock, country, punk, and Hi-NRG. Notably, Chris does not make any major changes to the lyrical content of these songs, only changing words that could imply he was gay.

Chris's lyrics don't always fit the mood or context of the song. A good songwriter uses lyrics that reflect the music and paint an emotional picture. If they do use lyrical dissonance, it's intentional or for ironic effect. Chris, however, seems to not care either way. Consider his second-biggest hit, "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]". The original song, "Larger than Life", has an upbeat vibe. Chris, however, rewrote the song with [[ego|self-pitying]] downer lyrics about being a lonely outcast with few friends, all while the exuberant backing track plays. The closest thing the song has to a positive twist is him bragging about his supposed intelligence.

Chris also doesn't appear to grasp the concept of weight in lyrics, especially with hooks. The hook of "[[So Need a Cute Girl]]" is "I have a boyfriend!". Those who don't pay much attention to lyrics will hear that part stand out the most, making it sound like Chris is singing about [[homos|him having a boyfriend.]]

Chris's rhymes are elementary and sometimes forced. In "[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]", he rhymes "eighteen to twenty-two" with "boyfriend free too" before plugging Match.com. In "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", he says "Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity." In addition to rhyming "lonely" with "virginity," he opts to say "remove" when "lose" would have worked much better and sounded less robotic.

Chris's attempts at figurative language fall flat. In [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]], he pens the truism "Traveling without a map/Is like traveling with no map." In A-U-T-I-S-M, he sings "I'm lookin' at you all, and I see a rainbow, come on!" It's not clear what he means by this: Rainbows are usually used as a symbol of [[homos|homosexuality]], but he could be using it as a workaround metaphor for the [[autism]] spectrum. There are very few metaphors in Chris's music that aren't either nonsense or clichés, and much of it is quite rigid and literal.

Chris has written a few truly original songs, but the results are riddled with a healthy dose of [[random-access humor]]. His best example, [[I Got A Fish]], stands out with its catchy-but-meaningless symbolism. His more recent song, [[It's snowing]], shifts its tone from soft to aggressive as he sings "Snowing, snowing, snowing is falling and we're inside at home, with eggs, for breakfast TO MAKE OMELETS WITH!" His original melodies are quite sing-songy and straddle the boundaries between singing and talking. Which brings us to...

===Singing===
{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu_Girls#Introduction_.2830_December_2008.29|being sadly mistaken]].}}

[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|"''You've seen life through distorted eyes,
 You know you had to learn,
 The execution of your mind,
 You really had to turn''"]]

It is impossible to overstate how much of a terrible singer Chris is. It is similarly impossible to overstate [[Chris and reality|how deluded Chris is]] about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront Liquid via artistic competition, he lost [[SingStar Challenge|a challenge that he nominated himself]].

Despite claiming to have a "deep bass voice"<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_got_his_degree_for_Cwcville]]</ref>, Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an [[Autism|odd, emotionless monotone]]. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, as well as the only album from [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]], he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song (as he never bothers to look up karaoke/instrumental-only versions of anything he sings). This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing "[[Sonichu Zip]]", a song that uses the Japanese theme song to the anime ''Sonic X'', "Sonic Drive". The fast tempo and lyrics of "Sonic Drive" result in Chris rapidly dissolving into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is almost completely tone-deaf; his [[Speech impediment|voice]] fluctuates in pitch with little to no regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over. Occasionally he's [[SingStar Challenge Round 2|barely managed]] [[I Got A Fish|to carry a tune]], though. If Chris could sing at all, his voice type would be at best a {{w|Tenor#Tenor buffo or Spieltenor|spieltenor}} (used for [[Random-access humor|comical]] roles) pushing towards {{w|countertenor}}, a pitch range octaves above the bass range he claims to have, and a tessitura (note range) too high for many ''[[Gal-Pals|women]]''.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with tempo and entries. While the songs he's written usually manage to match the originals in terms of lyrical rhythms, Chris often pushes ahead or pulls back from the tempo of the song. This is sometimes done deliberately by singers and is called ''rubato'', but in Chris's case it is generally the result of messing up lyrics or having too many or few words for the rhythm ([[Chris and Writing|usually the former]]), and Chris's tenuous sense of pulse means that once he gets thrown offbeat he struggles (usually in vain) to recover. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice or revise, but since this entails work it is flatly out of the question. Also owing to this nonexistent practice ethic is Chris being completely terrible at remembering the actual words to the song he's singing. The only part he tends to know is the chorus of the song, likely because the repetition makes it the only part of the song he pays attention to. Between choruses, however, he often forgets the words and improvises lyrics, which invariably consist of mumbled incoherent nonsense.

====''A cappella''====
''A cappella'' is a musical technique that entails using nothing but the human voice (and sometimes the body) to produce music. In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a cappella'' renditions of what one can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a man in his mid-30s (who looks like he's 45) showing us his ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' crossover and shouting "dun dun dun". Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. He also performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" by Europe while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]], and an equally-as-awful version of Q Lazzarus's "Goodbye Horses" while [[It's not that cold|pretending to dig up his dead dog and wear it as a coat]]. And let's not forget "[[Lovin' You]]", where he attempts to do ''a cappella'', but thanks to a sheer lack of practice, simply ends up massacring a Minnie Riperton classic by singing it completely out of tune (and tempo).

Despite his frequent use of ''a cappella'', Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequent source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video, which Chris vehemently claimed was a violation of the rules regarding backing tracks. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a cappella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the popularity of artists like {{w|Eminem}}, {{w|Macklemore}}, {{w|Post Malone}}, and {{w|Jedi Mind Tricks}}, plus the odd continued existence of {{w|Nerdcore|nerdcore}}, white guys rapping on [[YouTube]] is not unheard of. [[Liquid Chris|Some of these individuals]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 2#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|demonstrate impressive talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Chris is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the PaRappa contest. While his motivations and the drama it caused are covered extensively in that article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result can best be described as sounding like a drunk Muppet being startled every 30 seconds; Chris slurring his words together constantly and periodically yelling lyrics for no reason.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a [[PSP]] and she don't So give me the PSP, Unwrap the wrapper So I can give one to her, And then we can play together!|Chris, almost rhyming.}}

This, however, was nothing compared to a [[SHE IS MINE NOW|later foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of any sort of backbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy! And you still chicken, you's a dang coward! You wanna come fight me? Come fight me in person [[Hypocrisy|Come out from behind the camera]], you fool!|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would rap once again to Insane Clown Posse's side-project {{w|Dark Lotus}}. As usual, he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper to unconvincing effect. During a portion of the video, he simply mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo Juffalo], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related glam rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens [[Cakefarts|the effects of these vitamins]] to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger raping a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs.

===Instruments===
[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|**clickclickclick** It's like I'm playing real guitar, y'all!]]
[[Image:295.jpg|thumb|The (only) other instrument Chris's good at.]]

{{quote|I would play my ax on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit.|[[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in several videos, Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail|''Guitar Hero'' controller]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright foolish, even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|"creations"]] are [[Things Chris has ripped off|copies of other things]], yet are still [[Chris and copyright|somehow completely original]]. So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his autistic mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song, no matter if the song is a cover of the original, which necessitates a legitimate instrument on which to play it.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated Liquid's actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the SingStar Challenge.

{{quote|I got the idea of the challenge from him COPYING me playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on Guitar Hero on his old Wooden Nickel; if he wants to copy on Guitar, he may as well be challenged in a Sing-Off.|Chris, [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|blowing the minds of guitarists of all talent levels]]}}

{{quote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.|Chris, inspiring the hatred of people who like music everywhere}}

Chris has attempted actual guitar playing after [[Kim Wilson]] suggested it, but he didn't stick with it. He demoed a guitar at Best Buy, strumming randomly on the strings. Chris believed his random open-string strumming sounded good. He mentioned to [[Kacey]] he was planning on saving up to buy the genuine axe, and that he was going to start taking lessons. He never ended up buying it, presumably put off by the [[stress]] of practice. <ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref>

===Chris and tone-deafness===

It is telling that not only does Chris lack any sense of pitch in singing, but with melodies in general. This is evidenced in the [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_1|Wedding Anniversary Special]], where he claims to be playing the original theme to Sonic the Hedgehog but ends up with some wildly unrecognizable tune that only vaguely resembles the Sonic theme rhythmically. This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that ''Chris is actually tone-deaf,'' instead of simply lacking in vocal skills.

Some think it's a symptom of autism, as subtleties in tone and intonation indicating emotional and social cues are beyond his grasp, which in turn would affect recognition of pitch changes in music. However, something isn't right; in fact, autistic people are more likely to have perfect pitch than non-autistics<ref>https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/people-with-autism-can-hear-more-than-most-which-can-be-a-strength-and-a-challenge-a7715266.html</ref>, an ability shared with Mozart, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Charlie Puth and others. So if plenty of fellow autistics have this otherwise rare musical gift, why did Chris end up with the opposite?

The [[autism papers]] provides a great clue; Chris lost some of his high-frequency hearing in early childhood.<ref>[[Autism_papers#SOCIAL_HISTORY:]]</ref>

==Recording method==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his [[PS3]] and the near-$1,000 [[Sony]] LCD HDTV and the most expensive speakers his [[tugboat]] could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with the long-suffering [[PSEye]] camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance because the acoustics of the room distorts the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that [[Chris and his Ego|everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone]], just like his art.
* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version/cover, or the song's stem files.
* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect...[[The Simpsons|d'oh]], who are we kidding?

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed that there are plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free, many of which come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==Business==
[[File:Negative.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Negative'' cover art.]]
[[File:Negative_booklet_innards.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Negative'' booklet.]]
[[File:Chris Chan and Boi Spicy.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Love is Love'' cover art.]]
[[File:Trap_Top_Neon_Vol_1.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Trap Top Neon Vol. 1'' cover art.]]
[[File:Cone Attacks!.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Cone Attacks!'' cover art.]]

On 2 [[February 2015]], Chris revealed that he drew the artwork to the album ''Negative'' by L'eclipse Nue. L'eclipse Nue is an obscure {{w|Harsh noise|harsh noise}} act, whose music largely consists of ear-piercing screeches and low rumbling sounds – quite inaccessible for our Britney Spears-loving hero. Chris gave a brief review of the album, claiming that it reminded him of "[[My Little Pony|Pinkie Pie]] playing a {{w|Theremin|theramin}} [sic]", and stating that he could "sense the emotions and depressions expressed behind the music". Chris has almost certainly not listened to the album.

The cover booklet in the special-edition physical release of the album reveals that the entire album was focused around the cruddy picture Chris had drawn for them, along with a description of the piece.

{{quotebox|"I have seen into the torment of the deceased woman; 
she may have had a life's career if posing nude for art, 
as well as offering herself to the numerous artists. 
[[Autism|Take from that what you will.]] 
And now she haunts the number of artists and photographers 
who did really wrong her in her life."}}

Dan states in the booklet that:

{{quotebox|"The sounds herein were created in order to illustrate that story. 
This album is a soundtrack to Christian's [[Chris and art|art]]."}}

Therein this whole album, and every sound in it, is inspired entirely by Chris's art.

In February 2018, Chris was approached by "international boy-band sensation", Boi Spicy, to do a feature for their album ''The Never-Ending Journey To Boi-Town, USA''. Instead of doing something original like they requested, he decided to use his trademark laziness and make them record "[[Love is Love]]". To further stoke his [[Chris and his Ego|ego]], he drew a cover for Love is Love, intending it to be released as a single.

On 19 [[July 2019]], the release of ''Trap Top Neon Vol. 1'' by Easy-K Beats marks the third time Chris became the artist of an album cover. Chris simply redrew the cover art from the [[Internet Dream Lounge]], of which Easy-K Beats is a member, drawing himself into the scene in a show of his ego.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5066806</ref>

21 [[August 2019]] saw the fourth time Chris of being commissioned for an album cover for the release of ''Cone Attacks!'' by MC Cone. However, being the lazy autist that he is, the cover art and in turn, the album was delayed until 5 [[September 2019]] after many complaints from the commissioner.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/post-5284988</ref>

In addition, many of Chris's fans request him to sing in [[Paid Video Requests]].

==Music fetish==
Chris doesn't just love music, he's even turned on by the ''very concept'' of it. In [[February 2017]], although he's made passing mentions of it before, Chris stated on [[Facebook]] he gets aroused when listening to music--any music, not just certain songs. This includes music featured on ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Aroused by Sailor Moon music]]</ref> As always, [[Pedofork|make of that what you will]].

Finally, being aroused by music is not unique to Chris: otherwise, love songs such as "{{w|Tonight, I Celebrate My Love}}" or "{{w|Always (Atlantic Starr song)|Always}}" would have not done well in the charts, and pop singers like Madonna wouldn't insert sexual innuendos into their hits. That said, most people aren't turned on by the very ''concept'' of music as a whole.

It is possible that Chris, given his confusion [[Chris and sex|regarding sex as a whole]], may be conflating this arousal with the phenomenon of {{w|Frisson|frisson}}, a pleasant feeling that listeners experience when listening to music, often observed when listening to certain styles of music, or features of a given piece - this sensation is variously described as 'tingling' or 'chills'.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SONICHU The Album ! New From CWC-Tel
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fMwAgMXH9mU}}
| stardate = 1 [[January 2019]]
| maker = rEdf196
| subject =[[music]]
| type =
| info =
}}
==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Music]]

Chris and music

2021-03-29T14:57:47Z

FellandFair: NSFW warning for porn

{{Mature}}
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|[[CWCRockin4Way|This]] is obviously [[Hanky-panky|what music is all about]].]]
[[File:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|thumb|[[Chris's Big Night Out|Sonichu's still rockin' in my head!]]]]

[[Chris]] is a big fan of '''music'''; he listens to tracks from many genres and decades, though mostly pop and rock. At first glance, his eclectic taste in music is [[#Musical tastes|not too unconventional]]. It's the ways he's presented his taste over the years that are pretty unconventional – most people understand that a [[Gitar of Fail|''Guitar Hero'' controller]] is not a real instrument, but Chris isn't most people.

Chris is also infamous for overestimating his singing ability and music recording methods, despite having trouble remembering the [[Rebel Girl|lyrics]], [[Lovin' You|melodies]], the [[#Chris and tone-deafness|pitch]], and even [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|the instruments used]] in his favorite songs. Nevertheless, Chris has dabbled in music production, with [[Template:Music Videos|over sixty]] covers, [[parody|parodies]], and "original" songs. He loves music so much, he is turned on by the very concept of it.

==Musical tastes==
Chris has often remarked that he likes "all popular music". While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|3]] [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|horrible]] [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|albums]] was a top 40 hit in America or another country, or otherwise either a deep cut on a successful album, a B-side on a successful single or EP, or songs featured on the soundtracks to either hit movies such as ''[[Pokémon]]: The First Movie'', or video games such as ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and ''[[Rock Band]]''.

It is worth noting that parts of Chris's taste in music aren't too unconventional: many people do have a deep interest in multiple genres and decades, and many Adult Contemporary and Classic Hits stations are living proof. The genres Chris tends to favor, specifically pop and rock, are also popular and mainstream. It's also common for people to develop an interest in songs from means such as video games, movies, radio, television, their [[Borb|parents']] music collection, etc.

Chris has stated his favorite radio station is {{w|WQMZ|Z95.1 WQMZ}} from [[Charlottesville]], which plays nothing but inoffensive popular songs (specifically from the 1980s to today) that you're likely to hear in the dentist's office. The station bills its offerings as "today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for [[Tomgirl|women]]".<ref>[http://www.z95.net Z95.1 homepage]</ref> Chris listens to the [[John Tesh]] radio show on this station, and once won a set of tickets to a [[Greene County Conspiracy|sporting event]] through a call-in contest. He has left his radio on before during his videos as well as a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, for the whole conversation. This meant that he both enjoyed the background music and was totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

The only specific artist Chris seems to truly idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because of her beauty than her music, or for [[Britney Spears#Britney and Chris's past|memories]] of [[Manchester High School|happier times]]. On his date with [[Emily]], he claimed to like Louis Armstrong in an effort to look like a [[Bob Chandler|sophisticated jazz listener]].

If his past downloads on Rhapsody (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'', ''Rock Band'', or ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' game. This adds yet more [[Obesity|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3|video games]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most kids are [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|unaware]] [[Ghostbusters|of]] or [[Red Skelton|would]] [[I Love Lucy|not]] [[Gilligan's Island|enjoy]], Chris has twice referenced {{w|Billy Joel}}'s upbeat 1985 track "{{w|You're Only Human (Second Wind)}}", a dated but memorable reggae-pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from [[Ryan Cash|killing themselves]]. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|relieving yourself]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with utterly no elaboration at all, that he had "a lot to live for" and told said fan to go listen to the song.

Chris has also expressed a fondness for {{w|Insane Clown Posse}}, releasing [[Hello, Juffalo|two]] [[JuggaloShoutOut|videos]] in which he paints his face and talks about being a {{w|Juggalo}}. Since fans of ICP tend to be stereotyped as [[slow-in-the-minds|idiotic]], [[Chris and health|out-of-shape]], [[Ruckersville|white-trash]] jerkasses who believe themselves to be outcasts of society, it is easy to understand why becoming a Juggalo would appeal to Chris.

{{quote| I like [[JERKS|men]] as I like Heavy Metal "Music"; I Do Not Like Heavy Metal Music; hardly a real beat or tune, and the lyrics are incoherent.|Chris' incoherent words about the incoherency of heavy metal.}}

In a Patreon post made on 4 August 2017, Chris reveals that he has a distaste for heavy metal music. To him, all hard rock music [[chris and hypocrisy|has little to no real beats or music, and he finds the lyrics hard to follow.]]<ref>https://www.patreon.com/posts/delay-in-this-13668547</ref>

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his [[YouTube]] videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured {{w|Aerosmith}} in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "{{w|Eye of the Tiger}}" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "{{w|Can't Fight This Feeling}}". The [[100 2189|third time]] he announced his [[Internet#Attempts to leave the Internet|leaving from the internet]], he chose, of all songs, Colbie Caillat's "{{w|Fallin' for You (Colbie Caillat song)|Fallin' for You}}" as background music--although this most likely was just him leaving the radio on in the background.

In his [[I Love You, Catherine|videos]] [[To Mr. Smith|made in]] [[Brushfire Video|2014]], Chris took to playing sappy 1950s orchestral music in the background. This appears to be an attempt to garner sympathy given his recent difficulties in life, or it could just be yet another acquired taste from his parents.

Many videos filmed during the [[Financhu Crisis]] feature default background music from the PS4 game The Playroom. The common theme is a slow looping electronic piece with beeping square-wave synths and synth pads. YouTube commenters have branded this tune the "Financhu Crisis Theme".

==Musical talent==
===Songwriting===
[[Image:FeelOurLoveAtPlay.jpg|thumb|left|A glimpse at Chris's songwriting process.]]
Most of Chris's songwriting output has been him singing his original lyrics over copyrighted songs. He doesn't consider his songs to be [[parodies]], but rather serious compositions that [[Things Chris has ripped off|happen to share]] tunes with popular songs. Writing a good parody also requires a good grasp on lyricism, which Chris doesn't really seem to have. If anything, Chris's music is {{w|Plunderphonics|plunderphonics}}, a controversial genre built around sampling and altering existing recordings.

Chris's lyrics tend to be autobiographical. His [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|2003 album]] showed insight into Chris's [[Virgin with rage|loneliness]] and [[Psychology|thought processes]]. He also included several Sonichu anthems on the album, and he attempted [[Spanish]] music with "[[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]", not knowing that Casanova was Italian. The album was fairly eclectic in lyrical topics and musical feel, though most of the tunes were either pop songs taken from the late 1990s or were songs used in [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] media. Chris's [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]] took songs from even more genres, and included a lot of 1970s and 1980s music. However, his lyrical focus got narrower, and he wrote nearly all the songs about [[Ivy]]. His [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD|third and most recent attempt an an album]] follows a similar pattern to his second, taking songs from the 1980s and 1990s of various genres including pop rock, country, punk, and Hi-NRG. Notably, Chris does not make any major changes to the lyrical content of these songs, only changing words that could imply he was gay.

Chris's lyrics don't always fit the mood or context of the song. A good songwriter uses lyrics that reflect the music and paint an emotional picture. If they do use lyrical dissonance, it's intentional or for ironic effect. Chris, however, seems to not care either way. Consider his second-biggest hit, "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]". The original song, "Larger than Life", has an upbeat vibe. Chris, however, rewrote the song with [[ego|self-pitying]] downer lyrics about being a lonely outcast with few friends, all while the exuberant backing track plays. The closest thing the song has to a positive twist is him bragging about his supposed intelligence.

Chris also doesn't appear to grasp the concept of weight in lyrics, especially with hooks. The hook of "[[So Need a Cute Girl]]" is "I have a boyfriend!". Those who don't pay much attention to lyrics will hear that part stand out the most, making it sound like Chris is singing about [[homos|him having a boyfriend.]]

Chris's rhymes are elementary and sometimes forced. In "[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]", he rhymes "eighteen to twenty-two" with "boyfriend free too" before plugging Match.com. In "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", he says "Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity." In addition to rhyming "lonely" with "virginity," he opts to say "remove" when "lose" would have worked much better and sounded less robotic.

Chris's attempts at figurative language fall flat. In [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]], he pens the truism "Traveling without a map/Is like traveling with no map." In A-U-T-I-S-M, he sings "I'm lookin' at you all, and I see a rainbow, come on!" It's not clear what he means by this: Rainbows are usually used as a symbol of [[homos|homosexuality]], but he could be using it as a workaround metaphor for the [[autism]] spectrum. There are very few metaphors in Chris's music that aren't either nonsense or clichés, and much of it is quite rigid and literal.

Chris has written a few truly original songs, but the results are riddled with a healthy dose of [[random-access humor]]. His best example, [[I Got A Fish]], stands out with its catchy-but-meaningless symbolism. His more recent song, [[It's snowing]], shifts its tone from soft to aggressive as he sings "Snowing, snowing, snowing is falling and we're inside at home, with eggs, for breakfast TO MAKE OMELETS WITH!" His original melodies are quite sing-songy and straddle the boundaries between singing and talking. Which brings us to...

===Singing===
{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu_Girls#Introduction_.2830_December_2008.29|being sadly mistaken]].}}

[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|"''You've seen life through distorted eyes,
 You know you had to learn,
 The execution of your mind,
 You really had to turn''"]]

It is impossible to overstate how much of a terrible singer Chris is. It is similarly impossible to overstate [[Chris and reality|how deluded Chris is]] about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront Liquid via artistic competition, he lost [[SingStar Challenge|a challenge that he nominated himself]].

Despite claiming to have a "deep bass voice"<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_got_his_degree_for_Cwcville]]</ref>, Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an [[Autism|odd, emotionless monotone]]. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, as well as the only album from [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]], he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song (as he never bothers to look up karaoke/instrumental-only versions of anything he sings). This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing "[[Sonichu Zip]]", a song that uses the Japanese theme song to the anime ''Sonic X'', "Sonic Drive". The fast tempo and lyrics of "Sonic Drive" result in Chris rapidly dissolving into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is almost completely tone-deaf; his [[Speech impediment|voice]] fluctuates in pitch with little to no regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over. Occasionally he's [[SingStar Challenge Round 2|barely managed]] [[I Got A Fish|to carry a tune]], though. If Chris could sing at all, his voice type would be at best a {{w|Tenor#Tenor buffo or Spieltenor|spieltenor}} (used for [[Random-access humor|comical]] roles) pushing towards {{w|countertenor}}, a pitch range octaves above the bass range he claims to have, and a tessitura (note range) too high for many ''[[Gal-Pals|women]]''.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with tempo and entries. While the songs he's written usually manage to match the originals in terms of lyrical rhythms, Chris often pushes ahead or pulls back from the tempo of the song. This is sometimes done deliberately by singers and is called ''rubato'', but in Chris's case it is generally the result of messing up lyrics or having too many or few words for the rhythm ([[Chris and Writing|usually the former]]), and Chris's tenuous sense of pulse means that once he gets thrown offbeat he struggles (usually in vain) to recover. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice or revise, but since this entails work it is flatly out of the question. Also owing to this nonexistent practice ethic is Chris being completely terrible at remembering the actual words to the song he's singing. The only part he tends to know is the chorus of the song, likely because the repetition makes it the only part of the song he pays attention to. Between choruses, however, he often forgets the words and improvises lyrics, which invariably consist of mumbled incoherent nonsense.

====''A cappella''====
''A cappella'' is a musical technique that entails using nothing but the human voice (and sometimes the body) to produce music. In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a cappella'' renditions of what one can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a man in his mid-30s (who looks like he's 45) showing us his ''Sonic''/''Pokémon'' crossover and shouting "dun dun dun". Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. He also performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" by Europe while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]], and an equally-as-awful version of Q Lazzarus's "Goodbye Horses" while [[It's not that cold|pretending to dig up his dead dog and wear it as a coat]]. And let's not forget "[[Lovin' You]]", where he attempts to do ''a cappella'', but thanks to a sheer lack of practice, simply ends up massacring a Minnie Riperton classic by singing it completely out of tune (and tempo).

Despite his frequent use of ''a cappella'', Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequent source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video, which Chris vehemently claimed was a violation of the rules regarding backing tracks. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a cappella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the popularity of artists like {{w|Eminem}}, {{w|Macklemore}}, {{w|Post Malone}}, and {{w|Jedi Mind Tricks}}, plus the odd continued existence of {{w|Nerdcore|nerdcore}}, white guys rapping on [[YouTube]] is not unheard of. [[Liquid Chris|Some of these individuals]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 2#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|demonstrate impressive talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Chris is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the PaRappa contest. While his motivations and the drama it caused are covered extensively in that article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result can best be described as sounding like a drunk Muppet being startled every 30 seconds; Chris slurring his words together constantly and periodically yelling lyrics for no reason.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a [[PSP]] and she don't So give me the PSP, Unwrap the wrapper So I can give one to her, And then we can play together!|Chris, almost rhyming.}}

This, however, was nothing compared to a [[SHE IS MINE NOW|later foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of any sort of backbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy! And you still chicken, you's a dang coward! You wanna come fight me? Come fight me in person [[Hypocrisy|Come out from behind the camera]], you fool!|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would rap once again to Insane Clown Posse's side-project {{w|Dark Lotus}}. As usual, he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper to unconvincing effect. During a portion of the video, he simply mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo Juffalo], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related glam rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens [[Cakefarts|the effects of these vitamins]] to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger raping a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs.

===Instruments===
[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|**clickclickclick** It's like I'm playing real guitar, y'all!]]
[[Image:295.jpg|thumb|The (only) other instrument Chris's good at.]]

{{quote|I would play my ax on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit.|[[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in several videos, Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail|''Guitar Hero'' controller]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright foolish, even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|"creations"]] are [[Things Chris has ripped off|copies of other things]], yet are still [[Chris and copyright|somehow completely original]]. So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his autistic mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song, no matter if the song is a cover of the original, which necessitates a legitimate instrument on which to play it.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated Liquid's actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the SingStar Challenge.

{{quote|I got the idea of the challenge from him COPYING me playing Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on Guitar Hero on his old Wooden Nickel; if he wants to copy on Guitar, he may as well be challenged in a Sing-Off.|Chris, [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|blowing the minds of guitarists of all talent levels]]}}

{{quote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.|Chris, inspiring the hatred of people who like music everywhere}}

Chris has attempted actual guitar playing after [[Kim Wilson]] suggested it, but he didn't stick with it. He demoed a guitar at Best Buy, strumming randomly on the strings. Chris believed his random open-string strumming sounded good. He mentioned to [[Kacey]] he was planning on saving up to buy the genuine axe, and that he was going to start taking lessons. He never ended up buying it, presumably put off by the [[stress]] of practice. <ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref>

===Chris and tone-deafness===

It is telling that not only does Chris lack any sense of pitch in singing, but with melodies in general. This is evidenced in the [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_1|Wedding Anniversary Special]], where he claims to be playing the original theme to Sonic the Hedgehog but ends up with some wildly unrecognizable tune that only vaguely resembles the Sonic theme rhythmically. This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that ''Chris is actually tone-deaf,'' instead of simply lacking in vocal skills.

Some think it's a symptom of autism, as subtleties in tone and intonation indicating emotional and social cues are beyond his grasp, which in turn would affect recognition of pitch changes in music. However, something isn't right; in fact, autistic people are more likely to have perfect pitch than non-autistics<ref>https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/people-with-autism-can-hear-more-than-most-which-can-be-a-strength-and-a-challenge-a7715266.html</ref>, an ability shared with Mozart, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Charlie Puth and others. So if plenty of fellow autistics have this otherwise rare musical gift, why did Chris end up with the opposite?

The [[autism papers]] provides a great clue; Chris lost some of his high-frequency hearing in early childhood.<ref>[[Autism_papers#SOCIAL_HISTORY:]]</ref>

==Recording method==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his [[PS3]] and the near-$1,000 [[Sony]] LCD HDTV and the most expensive speakers his [[tugboat]] could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with the long-suffering [[PSEye]] camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance because the acoustics of the room distorts the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that [[Chris and his Ego|everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone]], just like his art.
* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version/cover, or the song's stem files.
* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect...[[The Simpsons|d'oh]], who are we kidding?

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed that there are plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free, many of which come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==Business==
[[File:Negative.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Negative'' cover art.]]
[[File:Negative_booklet_innards.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Negative'' booklet.]]
[[File:Chris Chan and Boi Spicy.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Love is Love'' cover art.]]
[[File:Trap_Top_Neon_Vol_1.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Trap Top Neon Vol. 1'' cover art.]]
[[File:Cone Attacks!.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''Cone Attacks!'' cover art.]]

On 2 [[February 2015]], Chris revealed that he drew the artwork to the album ''Negative'' by L'eclipse Nue. L'eclipse Nue is an obscure {{w|Harsh noise|harsh noise}} act, whose music largely consists of ear-piercing screeches and low rumbling sounds – quite inaccessible for our Britney Spears-loving hero. Chris gave a brief review of the album, claiming that it reminded him of "[[My Little Pony|Pinkie Pie]] playing a {{w|Theremin|theramin}} [sic]", and stating that he could "sense the emotions and depressions expressed behind the music". Chris has almost certainly not listened to the album.

The cover booklet in the special-edition physical release of the album reveals that the entire album was focused around the cruddy picture Chris had drawn for them, along with a description of the piece.

{{quotebox|"I have seen into the torment of the deceased woman; 
she may have had a life's career if posing nude for art, 
as well as offering herself to the numerous artists. 
[[Autism|Take from that what you will.]] 
And now she haunts the number of artists and photographers 
who did really wrong her in her life."}}

Dan states in the booklet that:

{{quotebox|"The sounds herein were created in order to illustrate that story. 
This album is a soundtrack to Christian's [[Chris and art|art]]."}}

Therein this whole album, and every sound in it, is inspired entirely by Chris's art.

In February 2018, Chris was approached by "international boy-band sensation", Boi Spicy, to do a feature for their album ''The Never-Ending Journey To Boi-Town, USA''. Instead of doing something original like they requested, he decided to use his trademark laziness and make them record "[[Love is Love]]". To further stoke his [[Chris and his Ego|ego]], he drew a cover for Love is Love, intending it to be released as a single.

On 19 [[July 2019]], the release of ''Trap Top Neon Vol. 1'' by Easy-K Beats marks the third time Chris became the artist of an album cover. Chris simply redrew the cover art from the [[Internet Dream Lounge]], of which Easy-K Beats is a member, drawing himself into the scene in a show of his ego.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5066806</ref>

21 [[August 2019]] saw the fourth time Chris of being commissioned for an album cover for the release of ''Cone Attacks!'' by MC Cone. However, being the lazy autist that he is, the cover art and in turn, the album was delayed until 5 [[September 2019]] after many complaints from the commissioner.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/post-5284988</ref>

In addition, many of Chris's fans request him to sing in [[Paid Video Requests]].

==Music fetish==
Chris doesn't just love music, he's even turned on by the ''very concept'' of it. In [[February 2017]], although he's made passing mentions of it before, Chris stated on [[Facebook]] he gets aroused when listening to music--any music, not just certain songs. This includes music featured on ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Aroused by Sailor Moon music]]</ref> As always, [[Pedofork|make of that what you will]].

Finally, being aroused by music is not unique to Chris: otherwise, love songs such as "{{w|Tonight, I Celebrate My Love}}" or "{{w|Always (Atlantic Starr song)|Always}}" would have not done well in the charts, and pop singers like Madonna wouldn't insert sexual innuendos into their hits. That said, most people aren't turned on by the very ''concept'' of music as a whole.

It is possible that Chris, given his confusion [[Chris and sex|regarding sex as a whole]], may be conflating this arousal with the phenomenon of {{w|Frisson|frisson}}, a pleasant feeling that listeners experience when listening to music, often observed when listening to certain styles of music, or features of a given piece - this sensation is variously described as 'tingling' or 'chills'.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SONICHU The Album ! New From CWC-Tel
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fMwAgMXH9mU}}
| stardate = 1 [[January 2019]]
| maker = rEdf196
| subject =[[music]]
| type =
| info =
}}
==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Music]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2021-03-26T12:12:23Z

FellandFair: Added a NSFW warning due to literal porn a bit down the page. I'm not sure what the procedure is for this, remove it if I'm misusing.

{{Honest}}
''For the 2020 live-action movie, see [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)]].''
{{quote|[I] looked up to Sonic the Hedgehog as my lifelong hero, because he's not only quck in the feet, but also [[Slow-in-the-minds|in the head]].|[[Christian Weston Chandler]]<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 20]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Sanek.png|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sonic
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 3'3" (100 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 77 lbs (35 kg)
|-
| '''Species'''
| Hedgehog
|-
|'''Arm color'''
| Blue
|}
'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue-armed]] fictional character that was created by [[Video games|Sega]] in order to serve as their main mascot (replacing [[Wikipedia:Alex Kidd|Alex Kidd]]), as well as to compete against [[Nintendo]]'s [[Super Mario Bros.|Mario]]. He is also one of the primary characters from which the much-beloved [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] draws inspiration.

Chris claims that Sonic has been his "life long hero"<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPv7MqvrDK0&feature=player_embedded#!</ref> since June [[1990]] (''sic''),<ref>''Sonic the Hedgehog'' wasn't released until June [[1991]] - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Interestingly, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991.</ref> replacing [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|the American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref> Chris confirmed his loyalty to Sonic in 2014 when Sega's outrageous decision to change a non-canonical Sonic's arm color to blue forced Chris to [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalize stores and physically injure employees]].

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from a magazine promotion of the series from late 1990, involving the basic plot of Sonic running around to defeat [[Doctor Robotnik]], who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. A show based on the games called [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|''Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'']] was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter other contests, to the eventual creation of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Chris's loyalty was so strong that he was visibly upset when told by bullies that Sonic was dead.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9|Jackie Chat #9]]</ref> Chris has shown little attention to the title character of Sonic's rival franchise ''Super Mario'', which is curious considering his [[Brand loyalty|militant hatred]] for the [[HEXbox]] in favor of the [[PlayStation]]; however, Chris does own a few Mario games in his video game collection. It is also known that Chris owns ''Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped'', Crash being another rival of Sonic's.

In a [[Announcement 20160709|video]] released in July 2016, Chris indirectly (and somewhat, though not 100%, incorrectly) acknowledges that Sonic the Hedgehog is poorly received; however, he hilariously doesn't grasp the concept, insisting that his original creation could "pull Sonic out of the ground".

[[2019]] sees a live-action Sonic movie, and a Grade V spergout from Chris seems certain, although it remains to be seen if it will involve public protest or violence. Chris has said: "''Even the crew of the STH 2019 Movie admit they PURPOSELY want to Mess This Up! And, yes: the Two Elephants in the room, on this great misinterpretation of Sonic, himself: The Wrong Shoes, and The Blue Arms. 😖 (The Real) Sonic, Himself, and I are Seriously Not Amused. He even stated, himself, that he is beyond ashamed and embarrassed of this movie, and all of the lack of appreciation of the original source materials, as well as Respect for him in this abolishment of a flick.''"<ref>[[Twitter]]</ref> Now that he believes himself to be in direct contact with (pink-armed) Sonic, where will Chris stop? He claims he will boycott it but will not repeat his errors of the Sonic Boom era.

==Notable multimedia==
===Comics===
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|200px|right|More likely than not a bigger inspiration than the games series itself.]]

Sonic comics are almost as numerous as the games themselves, pumped out at a whim for a buck; they even made series specific for each region of the world. The one Chris is familiar with is the one published by Archie Comics, published in, obviously, [[United States of America|America]].

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with this comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie ''Sonic'' covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_comic_book_characters#Evil_Sonic.2FScourge_the_Hedgehog|Scourge the Hedgehog]], an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic, "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles", for the basis of some of his fight scenes, and one of the early shorts, entitled "Sonichu 25 Years Later," takes its name from a 2004 arc called "Mobius 25 Years Later." Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown. He has stated that he would like ''Sonichu'' to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat #6]]</ref> If Chris still reads it, it will probably be a source of plagiarism and [[mass debating]] for years to come.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie ''Sonic'' comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%.]]

===Sonic Boom===

{{Main|Sonic Boom Protests}}

In [[June 2014]], Chris announced he was boycotting the TV and video game series ''Sonic Boom'' because of the fact that they changed the color of Sonic's arms from a flesh color to blue. Chris claims that this "U-turn" in design has caused him to "literally lose a bunch of sleep and peace of mind"{{cite}}. This was later enforced in [[October 2014|October]] when he posted two photos of himself holding up a Sonic doll with a grim face. Note that ''Sonic Boom'' is not considered canon and the color change is probably not permanent. Furthermore, the fact that Chris focuses exclusively on Sonic's blue arms instead of any of the other changes made to the character designs raises a lot of questions. It is also worth mentioning that even Chris's '''[[white knight|white knights]]''', including [[William Elliott Waterman]], criticised him for overreacting instead of defending him. The discouragement evidently only fanned the flames, however; Chris's anger towards the game only worsened and ended up getting him in deep trouble (see below).

On 17 [[November 2014]], in a post to the Facebook group ''Keep Sonic Original'', Chris revealed that his [[tard rage]] extended to getting into a dispute with several "Blue Arm Promoters" (The "security" [[jerkop|janekop]] and the [[manajerks|manajerk]]) at the [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]]). The focus of Chris's debate was the "Sensory Overloading of the Blue Arms" and how the Target store should NOT stock games based on popular demand, but instead based on Chris's whims and requests. Although Chris claims that the discussion ended peacefully he still went on to encourage the people of ''Keep Sonic Original'' to help their noble cause by harassing the two janekops involved into sending the ''Sonic Boom'' stock back to the manufacturers, as if mall security had any influence over that.

Chris's rage fulminated when, on [[26 December 2014]], he went to his local [[GameStop]] (which he was [[banned]] from) to vandalise ''Sonic Boom'' store merchandise, maced a bystanding employee on his way out, and got arrested for [[Chris and the Law|breaking 3 laws]] in a single day.

===Sonic Forces===
{{main|Sonic Forces}}
A 2017 video game with the ability to create customized Sonic characters. Chris purchased three copies of the game, each for different consoles.

===Film===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog (film)}}

===Sonic World fan game===
{{main|Sonic World}}

Chris became interested in the fan game, which allows modded characters, in October 2020 and used a fanmade mod of Sonichu, recording soundbites for the character as well as for [[Magi-Chan]], [[Rosechu]], and [[Chris Chan Sonichu]].

==References to Chris==
===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu===
On 13 [[January 2012]], two [[Sega]] of America employees corpsed in one of their "Free Stuff Friday" videos when one talked about a Super Sonic plush they were giving away and the female called it "Sonichu?". Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc}}
}}

Chris saw the video and commented.<ref>[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube#SEGA's Free Stuff Friday-January 13, 2012]]</ref> He then filed it under a YouTube playlist titled "Trolling Stupid".

{{quotebox|I do not find that commentary funny at all. In fact, I feel pissed off to be ridiculed soo lightly.}}

===Sonic mentions Sonichu on Twitter===
On 10 [[July 2015]], the official Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter account joked about Sonichu and blarms.<ref>https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/608718532529037312</ref>

A fan asked:
{{quoteboxred|Will I be able to play as Sonichu in Sonic Boom: Fire and Ice?}}

Sonic replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Maybe, but only if we give Sonichu blue arms, three scarves, and ultimately just redesign him as Big the Cat.}}

A troll tried to notify Chris that Sonic was mocking him, but he believed it to be fake:<ref>[[:File:Cwc dumb flake - credit to Pickle Inspector.png]]</ref>

{{quotebox|That Is Fake, you dumb Flake.}}

Chris should have known it is not a fake, since he follows the account on Twitter.

Two later tweets also made minor mentions of Sonichu.

The first was on 9 March 2016, in which [[Dr. Eggman]] attempts to cancel getting "Big the Cat facts" on his phone by texting his favorite Sonic character, but is told that his favorite Sonic character is Sonichu.<ref>https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/707622466391117824</ref>

The second was on 29 April 2016, where "Sonichu" is one possible name on a "What's Your Sonic Name" chart making fun of the "original characters" in the Sonic fandom.<ref>https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/726090715885756416</ref>

===Sonic Boom pickle joke===
In ''Double Doomsday'', episode 7 of ''Sonic Boom'', Sonic orders a hamburger with no pickles and instead is served with extra pickles.

In Chris's [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]] Facebook group, he posted about the pickle joke and took a "neutral" stance on it.
{{quotebox|10 December 2014

I know well I said not to talk about the show much, or post any spoilers. This time, though, I am willing to make this exception.

I have heard that in the show, Sonic ordered a sandwich with no pickles, but is served the sandwich with extra pickles. I feel neutral/indifferent about the joke. But my friend read a bit into it as a possible reference to myself, as well as a possible middle finger gesture to me from SEGA. Being Serious and Sincere, no sarcasm or jokes: what do y'all think/feel from this lame pickled vegetable joke? Answer in the comments of this post.}}

===''Sonic Boom'' parody===
[[File:Mark as cwc - credit to John Furrman.jpeg|thumb|250px]]
Episode 57 of the ''Sonic Boom'' animated series, titled "The Biggest Fan", parodies the Sonic fanbase. Several references, whether intentionally or coincidentally, match with Chris-

*The fan, Mark the Tapir, is an overweight nerd with bad hair, large glasses and [[Medallions|a Sonic patch on his shirt]].
*Mark the Tapir has an awkward lack of social awareness, similar to Chris's [[autism]], and is especially reminiscent of his clingy, stalker-ish behaviour around [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] and [[Catherine]].
*At the 2:43 mark, Mark orders [[April 16 Fetish Vids#1 Fanta: Semen Flavor|orange soda]].
*At the 5:15 mark, there is a reference to [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue arms]].
*Mark attempting vehicular manslaughter on Sonic, like Chris did with Michael Synder.
*"Collectible plates" are mentioned, possibly made out of Crayola Model Magic?
*Sonic has a Tails hat placed on him at one point, making him look like he has [[Sonichu (character)|big yellow ears]].
*Mark is shown to be into writing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|NSFW fan fiction]] of Sonic, with Sonic sarcastically mentioning [[Sonichu 8|"SonAmy! Ooh, spicy!"]].

<center><gallery>
File:Mark tapir.jpeg
File:Sonic Boom parody Blarms.jpeg
File:Sonic tails hat.jpeg
</gallery></center>

The episode aired on 10 December 2016. Three days later, Chris viewed the episode and saw "No resemblance" to himself in Mark:<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Sonic Boom parody]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Also, after hearing of Sonic Boom's "The Biggest Fan" episode, I found and watched it. Despite the segment on the arm colour in the portrait and the common fat, glasses, and hair on Mark the Tapir, and there was no mention or hidden cameo of Sonichu anywhere in the episode; I personally see No resemblance of myself in the Mark character. Especially in how far he took it to keep being able to be near Sonic; [[Chris and reality|I am not mental or crazy like that at all.]]}}

The episode's writers, Doug Liebilch and Bill Freiberger, responded to questions on Twitter about the episode. Liebilch said that [https://twitter.com/DougLieblich/status/808080337859293184 "He's not based on anyone specific. Just an obsessive fan character."] Freiberger also denied that Mark was based on Chris, and unlike Liebilch, he knows who Chris is, saying [https://twitter.com/BillFreiberger/status/809087510156410880 "Mark is 100% NOT based on CWC. He is a general fan type. We've done many blue arm jokes in the series. Not a clue."]

===Sonic Boom writer jokes about Sonichu===

On 10 January 2018, Alan Denton, a writer for ''Sonic Boom'', joked about Sonichu on Twitter.

{{quoteboxgreen|I love when people are inspired enough by something to write their own fan fiction. Totally support that. But (and I can't believe I have to say this...), if you then insist to the creators that your made-up story become canon, you've gone too far.<ref>https://twitter.com/AlanTheWriter/status/951193526917738496</ref>

(Whispers silently to my folder of Sonichu fanfic: "But not you. You'll all be canon one day...")<ref>https://twitter.com/AlanTheWriter/status/951193919483666432</ref>}}

Denton was a writer on the ''Double Doomsday'' and story editor on ''The Biggest Fan'' episodes of the show.

===IGN Movie Quiz===
On 7 [[February 2020]], IGN uploaded a video in which James Marsden, the actor playing Tom Wachowski in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog movie]], is quizzed on his knowledge on Sonic trivias - one question being if Sonichu is an unlockable character in Sonic Forces<ref>[[Chris_in_the_media#IGN]]</ref>. Marsden replies, "What is a Sonichu?"

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]]. This would later be retconned into Sonic having been [[Silvana]] in disguise.

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue #1, never mentioned again until [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], where [[Robbie]] sickeningly refers to him as "Uncle Sonic".

Sonic returns in the "Clip Show" episodes of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] and [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], where Sonichu and he discuss the past. He is shocked by the new [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic Chris]], now a [[tomgirl]].

===Tails's lack of a role in the comics===
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since [[Wikipedia:Sonic The Hedgehog 2|''Sonic the Hedgehog II'']] was released in [[1992]] for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Sega Genesis]]. He has been featured in almost every form of ''Sonic''-related media such as cartoons, anime and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why neither he nor an idiot ripoff (likely named "Prowerlo Sonichu") has had a role in ''Sonichu''. An orange character who's probably meant to be Tails can be seen in the background of a [[Scrapbook of Fail|scrapbook]] [[:Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|drawing of Sonic and Sonichu]], and he is also briefly featured in a fancomic [[PandaHalo]] made and Chris added to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but other than that neither Tails nor a recolor of him appear in the ''Sonichu'' universe.

[[Image:0860-Cwcville9.JPG|thumb|He did make a [[Lego]] version of Tails.]]

Chris has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an [[Transformers|Autobot]] named "[[Prower]]". Contrary to what some believe, it is not likely Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|thirteen-year-olds]] on [[GameFAQs]] and Newgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were a [[homos|gay]] couple. Chris said that "I just did not feel need for a Tails-like Character in the stories. I disagree with all the rumors against Tails; if you read the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Comic Book Series]] from Archie Comics, Tails gets a Girlfriend".<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails?|Mailbag #21]]</ref> He later claims that he "did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic".<ref>[[Mailbag 38#Chris is an expert matchmaker|Mailbag #38]]</ref> Despite this, Chris ''did'' create two Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails and Supreon (an evolution of the former), though they only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]]. Tails also gets a mention in "[[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]", a Sonichu short story which predates the comics.

[[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] might be the closest a Sonichu character has ever come to ripping off Tails. While they're nothing alike in their looks or personalities ([[Chris and writing#Characterization|or lack thereof]], in the case of the former), Wild does state in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] that he can use his tail as a propeller, an ability also shared by Tails.

=== Amy Rose ===
'''Amy Rose''' is a ''Sonic'' character created in [[1993]], making her first appearance in the game [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog CD|''Sonic CD'']]. She serves as the self-proclaimed love interest of Sonic the Hedgehog. In fleshing out the world of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris quickly ripped off the character to serve as Sonichu's girlfriend, [[Rosechu]].

[[Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG|thumb|Yep, definitely different.]]

While Chris at least made an effort to disguise Sonichu's source material by re-colouring him, Rosechu is nearly indistinguishable from Amy Rose. Like Amy Rose, Rosechu has green eyes and pink fur, with the spines on her head arranged to resemble a bob haircut. Both wear red boots and dresses, with Rosechu's having a blue trim in a slightly different pattern to Amy's white trim. Visually, the only obvious distinction between the two is the [[Raichu]] tail Rosechu has, and the spines on the center of Amy's forehead, which Rosechu lacks. It should be noted, however, that when Chris draws Amy, he [[Chris and art|fails]] to draw the forehead spines properly, resulting in an even closer resemblance.

{{quote|MAJOR Differences between Amy and Rosie; Amy never had spikes on her back, the clothes are Different; Rosie’s Headband is White, not Red, and Rosechu has a modern girl kinda attitude, and lucky for her, Sonichu RARELY runs away from her charms. And, of course, she has her Electric-Type Attacks to boot.|Christian Weston Chandler, damning himself with [[The Sonichu Chronicles|faint praise]].}}

[[File:Sonichu - Episode 6, Page 14.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Even Chris is bored with this sexist gabfest.]]

As Chris points out, the only real difference between Amy and Rosechu in terms of characterization is that while Amy's crush on Sonic is unreciprocated, Sonichu has been sucking face with Rosechu since the [[Sonichu 0|day they met]]. Obviously, this hardly marks a difference in their ''personality''. If anything, it says more about the differences between Sonic and Sonichu, since they respond differently to affection. Since she's already made her romantic conquest, Rosechu is free to pursue the life of a "modern girl", which apparently means [[Sonichu 8|raping people's faces]] and producing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|terrifying amateur pornography]].

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Sheesh, they even think the same words.]]

As an epilogue to the Sonichu/Sonic team-up in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], Rosechu happens to meet Amy in [[CWCville Mall]]. With no hint of irony, the two remark upon how similar they are, and engage in a [[Women's rights|vapid conversation about shopping and relationships]].
{{clear}}

=== Shadow the Hedgehog ===
Introduced in [[2001]]'s [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|''Sonic Adventure 2'']], '''Shadow the Hedgehog''' is an anti-hero version of Sonic the Hedgehog. As he quickly became a fan favorite among the ''Sonic'' family of characters and the trolls, it was only a matter of time before [[Chris]] decided to "create" another [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

Unlike Rosechu, who is virtually identical to Amy, [[Blake|Black Sonichu]] (later retconned to Blake) only resembles Shadow in his color scheme and tenuous allegiance to the forces of evil. While Shadow is primarily motivated by his desire to learn about his mysterious past, Black Sonichu was informed of every aspect of his creation by [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]]. Most notably, while Shadow is intended to be a dark and edgy character, Black Sonichu is basically just a punk, committing blatant mischief for very transparent motives.

While this might seem to make Black Sonichu halfway original, it really only means that he's a poor copy of Sonichu instead of a slightly less poor copy of Shadow. Blake's only real claim to individuality was that he acted like an asshole; since falling for [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he doesn't even have that going for him.

Shadow makes one appearance in the ''Sonichu'' canon when he shows up as a drummer for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]], but is later replaced by [[Punchy Sonichu]]. A Shadow doll was also held by Chris in [[DivineTrial]], substituting for Clyde Cash. The same Shadow doll is in the background in [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]. Chris claims that Shadow is currently living in C-197.

==Plagiarism==
To put it bluntly, Sonichu is a [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement.]] Chris tries to work around this fact by claiming that Sonichu is a [[parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog, but Chris clearly does not understand what the word means, as Sonichu does not derive humor or provide commentary on the original franchise.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Modern-classic.png|Sonic with his 90's counterpart.
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 28. Notice the [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue-colored arms]].
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street-smart cop with twenty years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh, wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Chris.
Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg|[[6 June 2010|Yep]], [[Don't Mess With Me|that]] [[Sonichu 10|most]] [[Autism Tutorial Extra|certainly]] [[28 October 2011|taught]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|him]].
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own [[Jimmy Hill|unlicensed ''Sonic'' merchandise]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.
Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
File:Killing_sonic_iterations_SB.jpg|Systematic murder of Sonic's iterations.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Doctor Robotnik]]
* [[Chris and copyright]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] on [[Wikipedia]]

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

User talk:FellandFair

2021-03-25T14:03:46Z

FellandFair: Created page with "Idk heres a page now for user talk:FellandFair"

Idk heres a page now for user talk:FellandFair

Chris-chan Sonichu

2021-03-23T15:04:02Z

FellandFair: Added an honest content warning because there's literal porn right near the top of the page

{{Honest}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:CWCSonichu.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Chris-Chan Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 24th February [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| <s>Male</s> Female
|-
| '''Length'''
| N/A
|-
| '''Weight'''
| N/A
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| N/A
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| N/A
|-
|}

{{quote|Chris-Chan's origin is unknown but when he is needed to help the Chaotic Combo, he is there. Quandry is brought up on the Sonichu-Head mark on his chest.|[[:Image:124-ACChanBck.jpg|Chris-Chan [Sonichu] ''Animal Crossing'' card]]}}

'''Chris-chan Sonichu''' is [[Chris]]'s full-on Mary Sue fursona in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[October 2010]], Chris [[ECV 00002|actually transformed into Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. The character became a transexual in [[2015]], mirroring Chris's own transwoman identity. In 2018, after being influenced by the [[Idea Guys]], and as a [[coping]] mechanism, Chris developed a messiah complex involving Chris-chan Sonichu and another imaginary alter-ego, [[CPU Blue Heart]].

== Background ==
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|thumb|right|Fun fact: Chris-Chan Sonichu also appears in Chris's sex fantasies.]]

When [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] uses his [[Sonichu medallion]] to summon the Electric Hedgehog power of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], he is transformed into the legendary hero, Chris-Chan Sonichu. This alter ego allows Chris to join in the adventures of his creation [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], inevitably leading to his self-insert stealing the spotlight from his own original character. Chris-Chan Sonichu (or simply "Chris-Chan"), looks exactly like a blue Sonichu, who is just a yellow Sonic the Hedgehog, which puts us right back where we started. Thus, Chris-Chan Sonichu rips off the design of Sonic the Hedgehog more than any of Chris's other creations.

In the early years following Sonichu's creation, Chris identified himself with the character directly, portraying potential love interest [[Sarah Hammer]] as [[Rosechu]] and rival [[Wes Iseli]] as [[Black Sonichu]]. At some point Chris found it necessary to more fully distinguish himself from his creation, and created a new set of hedgehog alter-egos for himself, Sarah, and Wes. As revealed in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Chris, Sarah, and Wes are the reincarnations of Native Americans who possessed "anchuent powers" necessary to oppose the evil of [[Count Graduon]]. Upon discovering the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Chris is shown how to transform into Chris-chan Sonichu by pressing his medallion.

Chris-Chan Sonichu's powers seem to be the same as those of the regular [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] powers, plus flight (in ''[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]'', he claims it gives him the ability to use the powers of all the Electric Hedgehogs (rendering all of them redundant), though he can do that even as a human), and the medallion is apparently absorbed into his flesh, leaving a white mark where it used to lie. His only known weakness is that if the white mark is pressed he will revert back to fat, useless human Chris. Being vulnerable to a single poke in the chest would seem to be an insurmountable disadvantage, but Chris invariably transforms back with little effort. This is most likely a ripoff of two characters: [[Sailor Moon]], who had reverted to normal at least twice after having her transformation brooch damaged, and the Z-Putties from [[Power Rangers]], mooks who'd explode after being struck on the Z-shield on their chests. Initially, Chris-Chan Sonichu was depicted as an alter-ego for Chris, making the name a [[wikipedia:Secret identity|secret identity]] much like archetypal American [[Things Chris Has Ripped Off#Western comics|superheroes]].

Despite his massive arsenal of powers, as mentioned below, Chris-Chan Sonichu is defeated in the comic more than any other character. This is possibly due to the fact that Chris is usually the main character in the later comics. This shows that even in fiction, Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|ego]] proves to be his downfall, and that even in his fantasy world, Chris fails miserably.

After the theft of his medallion in real life in [[October 2008]], Chris rushed out a story meant to appear in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], in which the medallion is stolen in the comic as well. In the story Chris realizes that his Chris-Chan Sonichu powers came from his [[High School Ring]] all along, and that he does not need the medallion at all (although he uses his limitless power to reclaim it nonetheless), conveniently forgetting that the ring was not seen on Chris's finger in ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' when Chris first transforms at the Destiny Cave.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_5</ref> The purpose of the story appears to be to show the [[trolls]] that despite stealing the medallion they had not stolen Chris's Electric Hedgehog power, which is insane even for Chris. Compounding this batshittery, in ''The Sonichu Chronicles'' Chris feels it is necessary to explicitly tell [[Nintendo]] that he does not have Electric Hedgehog power in real life.

Chris incorporates his Chris-Chan Sonichu form into his sex fantasies too, as seen by the picture to the right. The fursona made an appearance in a sex audio session with [[Julie]], with whom he role played being Chris-chan Sonichu and sending shocks of electricity through Julie's wet [[china]]. In the "[[Giant Penis Comic]]", Chris depicts the consummation of his storybook marriage to [[Ivy]], showing himself and his lover transforming into their respective animal forms to properly yiff in holy matrimony.

Chris-Chan Sonichu also appeared in the video [[ECV 00002]] in [[October 2010]], when Chris [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplayed]] as his comic fursona at the request of then current sweetheart [[Jackie]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>

Chris repeatedly signed his name as "Chris Chan Sonichu" on court documents relating to his [[Chris and the law#2018|March 2018 trespass charge]], despite it not being his legal name, though no action was taken by court staff on the matter.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/court-records-from-2018-signed-chris-chan-sonichu.75721/</ref>

== In the Comic ==
=== [[Sonichu 0#Introductions|Introductions]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu is briefly alluded to during the Introductions segment following the end of Episode 1 of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], alongside [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Saramah Rosechu]]. Chris doesn't immediately state that it is his Sonichu form in the comic, merely implying that Chris-Chan Sonichu and the others will have some significance later.

=== [[Sonichu 0#Classic Sonichu Strips|Classic Sonichu Strips]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu appears in two of the five Classic Sonichu Strips. One of them is a Mother's Day special, in which he and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] team up to save [[Barb]] from [[Naitsirhc]]. At the end of this strip, Chris-Chan Sonichu transforms back into [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|regular Chris]] to talk to his mother, thus [[Chris and writing|ruining any attempt]] at dramatic build-up Chris may have been trying to establish with the vagueness on Chris-Chan Sonichu in the Introductions segment. The other strip is a simple fight with [[Jerkops]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] held over the course of two pages. Chris of course gets his ass handed to him immediately, and has to be saved by Saramah Rosechu, who is revealed to be [[Sarah Hammer]], thus ruining that surprise too.

=== [[Sonichu 0#Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"|Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"]] ===
In case the reader missed it the first time in the Classic Sonichu Strips, Chris more explicitly transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu here in the very first [[Sub-episodes|Sub-episode]] to fight the [[Jerkhief]], complete with [[Anime|transformation sequence]]. The Jerkhief gets robot armor, and Chris gets [[Pokémon]] moves. He defeats Jerkhief, who then attempts to shoot him. Chris responds with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and curses him with "bad luck and extreme misfortune", also causing his wife to leave him and the man to lose his house and his beloved children. In light of revelations later in the comic that all the Jerkops were really just brainwashed minions who didn't know any better, this scene later became even more horrifying.

=== [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"]] ===
For the first time, an actual explanation is given for why Chris has magic hedgehog powers. This episode features Sonichu happening upon the Destiny Cave and taking Christian back there, where he places his [[Sonichu Medallion]] on the pedestal and gains his powers for the first time. This would seem to indicate that this episode is the first canonical appearance of Chris-Chan Sonichu, and the Sub-episodes and strips that feature him take place some time afterwards.

=== [[Sonichu 2#Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"|Christian Chandler in "Chaos & Serenity"]] ===
Chris-Chan appears here with Sonichu some place just outside of [[CWCville]], described by a map reference Chris added on the page only as "rough terrain". Dialogue indicates that the two had been training offscreen, and Chris accidentally discovers how to change back into his human form; via the mark on his chest. Wes then attacks, Chris and Sonichu dodge, the two of them have a long boring debate in which [[Chris and his Ego|Chris is obviously meant to be right]], and then they fight. Chris loses and is saved by Sarah intervening, just like in the strip.

=== [[Sonichu 2#Episode 9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in "The Evil that Stomped CWCville"|Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in "The Evil that Stomped CWCville"]] ===
The fight from last issue stops and Chris, Wes and Sarah all have a long boring discussion about the past in which Chris and Wes both whine a lot, eventually ending when [[Count Graduon]] finally appears with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. They realize that he was the evil they were meant to fight, and so they team up to rip off ''Sonic Heroes'' and use their ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|Team Blast]]'' attack to destroy a stone golem that Graduon had summoned. They then all change back and head home to talk more.

=== [[Sonichu 2#Sub-Episode 3: Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"|Christian Chandler & Sonichu in "Witch Confront"]] ===
Chris one day randomly decides to go to Mary's hideout at the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and kill her. He breaks in through the window in his Chris-Chan Sonichu form, makes a self righteous speech, attacks her, and gets beaten up yet again. Mary does this by hitting his singular weak point; the white mark on his chest, and he changes back into his normal self right in front of her. In theory, his identity was supposed to be a secret up until this point, even if a poorly hidden one given that he specifically mentions [[Christian Weston Chandler]] in his above mentioned speech, but nevertheless it is at this point Mary ''officially'' knows that it's him. Sonichu then steps in to save his father after his failed assassination attempt, and between them they manage to completely atomize her. It should be noted that this entire Sub-episode is just a redrawn version of a previous Classic Sonichu Strip, except that Chris did not transform in the last one.

=== [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|Christian Chandler in "McAttack"]] ===
Chris is bothered in the [[Get-Tar]] region by [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]]. Always the coward, Chris quickly gets assistance from [[Darkbind Sonichu]] to help him out in the fight, and the two teams battle it out. Because Chris transforms whilst wearing his [[Anime Wings]], he becomes an upgraded version of his regular form, ''Super'' Chris-Chan Sonichu, who is essentially regular Chris-Chan Sonichu plus the flying ''Wing Cap'' powerup from ''Super Mario 64''. He defeats B-Manajerk whilst Darkbind defeats the Merried Seinor Comic, and Darkbind leaves shortly afterwards, just in time for Chris to get ambushed by the cyborg [[W-M-Manajerk]], ending the sub-episode on a cliffhanger. After his initial appearance, Super Chris-Chan Sonichu is never seen again, as the [[Anime Wings]] are lost after the fight.

=== [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 5: Christian Chandler in "McAttack Part 2"|Christian Chandler in "McAttack Part 2"]] ===
Chris spends most of this episode in his human form, but becomes Chris-Chan Sonichu again towards the end. After Chris uses the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to will his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] into existence, the two of them then both transform into hedgehogs and fight W-M-Manajerk together, her having a weird [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldier]] themed form called Crystalina Rosechu. The two eventually defeat W-M-Manajerk and throw his severed head all the way back to PVCC, where it hits Mary and knocks her off her chair. She is then mocked by a cuckoo clock bird that Mary had for some reason programmed to insult her and shout words of support for Chris.

=== [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 7: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"|Christian Chandler in "Off-Target"]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu is featured right away on the first page of this Sub-episode, as the first two pages are a reprint of the Classic Sonichu Strip from before where Chris gets beaten up at the mall by Jerkops and is saved by Sarah Hammer, with the addition of a single panel in which the defeated Mary swears to come back and defeat him with the "strongest most evil villian [sic] ever". Said strongest most evil villain ever turns out not to be [[Count Graduon]], the ancient evil spirit who had threatened the ancient [[Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi]] clans, but some guy called [[Bagget]], who is essentially a regular [[Jerkop]] dressed in a brown ''[[Power Rangers]]'' suit. Chris transforms, fights him, reverts to regular Chris, and then Bagget brings in his "[[Transformers|Change-Bot]]" called [[Crackder]], and picks up Chris, only to drop him from a high height. The Sub-episode ends on another cliffhanger.

=== [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"]] ===
Chris is defeated in human form and captured by Bagget early in the issue, and then taken back to PVCC to be executed via giant cooking pot. Crystal saves him at the last minute and the two of them transform. The two in their transformed states form the combo team "[[Chris-Chan Pure]]", and using the most weeaboo move in the entire ''Sonichu'' series, the [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]], they defeat Mary and Graduon. [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] is freed of their evil grasp, and so Mary and Graduon go to take over [[Manchester High School]] instead.

=== [[Sonichu 5#Episode 12: Christian Chandler in "My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding"|Christian Chandler in "My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding"]] ===
Chris attends Sarah Hammer and [[William Spicer]]'s wedding in secret, via unexplained invisibility powers, and intervenes when Wes shows up again to kidnap Sarah. Chris transforms to fight him once more, but this time they battle it out with ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards instead of [[Pokémon]] attacks. Chris yet again gets curb-stomped by a superior foe, but is also saved again. This time the heroes are [[Sailor Megtune]] and [[Megagi La Skunk]], who save him from another attack and force him to finish the battle and win.

=== [[Sonichu 5#Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"|"Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]] ===
Mary Lee Walsh attacks the city so Chris transforms again, also calling in his sister, Sonichu, Rosechu and the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Mary then lets out the [[CADD Chef]]; a giant robotic duplicate of Chris's CADD instructor from PVCC, and the Chris-Chan Pure defeat it. Eventually, Mary reveals the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and attempts to trap Chris inside it. Entering the mirror causes Chris's form to deactivate, and also fulfills another portion of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], granting [[Naitsirhc]] dark powers as well and giving him the ability to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]]. Chris is pulled out of the mirror by Crystal, who sacrifices herself to save him by throwing herself into the mirror in Chris's place.

=== [[Sonichu 6#Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"|"Evil is Afoot!"]] ===
After deciding to use the [[Sonichu Balls]] to rescue Crystal from the Dark Mirror, Chris hears a noise downstairs in the mall and comes across Reldnahc Ha-Taque robbing a jewelers. He chases him down, finding out whilst doing so that he was secretly Naitsirhc, transformed by the dark powers he had received, and the two fight in hedgehog form. The fight leads to [[Manchester High School]], which appears NOT to be controlled by Mary Lee Walsh, and the fight ends when Chris is, (you guessed it), defeated and then saved by someone else leaping in from nowhere, this time [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

=== [[Sonichu 9#Episode 20: CWC-Defense|CWC-Defense]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu does not appear again until the end of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], as after Episode 14, the comic focuses on a non-violent time travel story which did not show Chris-Chan Sonichu at any point. The story then ends with Chris getting lost in the [[Time Void]], and he is absent from subsequent issues. Chris is pulled out of this Time Void at the end of ''Sonichu'' #9, at which point he is already in Chris-Chan Sonichu form for some unknown reason.

=== [[Sonichu Special 1]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu appears in ''Sonichu Special 1'' as part of the brief fight with Cly, the comic alter ego of [[Clyde Cash]], whom he defeats and rescues [[Ivy]] from. This comic's [[Sonichu chronology|placement in canon]] is unclear, as Chris first met Ivy through [[Chris and religion|literal divine intervention]] whilst he was still stuck in the Time Void, and she had died in the Battle of [[CWCville]] by the time he got out.

=== [[Giant Penis Comic]] ===
Chris-Chan Sonichu also made a two-page cameo in the ''Giant Penis Comic'', where Chris transformed into him temporarily for sexual purposes during his honeymoon with Ivy. Ivy in turn used a form known as "[[Ivy#Honeymoon|Princess Ivy]]", though how she had such power is not clear. This comic is also subject to canon issues mentioned above.

=== [[Sonichu 10#Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities|Christian Chandler in Director Amenities]] ===
Following on from ''Sonichu #9'' Chris spends most of the early pages of this issue in Chris-chan Sonichu form, running around CWCville doing many minor "[[chores]]". Among other things, he destroys the old Tripod building which used to host [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|his site]], killing a bunch of [[Devil Trolls]] who had got inside whilst doing so, met up with and had a date with [[Lovely Weather]], his confirmed future wife, and ended up getting accidentally captured by [[Beel]] and [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. The two of them stole his [[Sonichu Medallion]], but in doing so they discover that the medallion was a decoy all along, and that the true source of his power was his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. He nevertheless still takes the medallion back, which he passes on to his trusted sweetheart [[Blanca]]. He then destroys the building, kills Beel, and moves on to fight Reldnahc in the park, who he defeats and injects with the Gay Vaccine from the FutureTM. This is the last time in the comic that Chris-chan Sonichu is seen, as for the rest of the issue Chris chooses to commit any further atrocities in either human form or as the super powered [[Colossal Chan]], and the series was put on indefinite hold after the issue was completed.

== Transexual ==
[[File:CCSonichu1.jpg|thumb|200px|Chrissy-Chan Rosechu.]]
In a [[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia|Facebook post]] of 21 [[May 2015]], Chris revealed a new story involving Chris-chan Sonichu. Since his last appearance in Sonichu, Chris's character in the comic came out as a lesbian transwoman, also known as '''Christine Chan'''. Sometime afterward, his help was needed in defending Cwcville from Count Graduon. For this task Chris transformed into Chris-chan Sonichu, and after defeating Graduon and his underlings, found out to his delight that his new Sonichu form was that of a female. The new Chris-chan Sonichu had large breasts, a vagina, a uterus, ovaries and ovium. Learning of his capability to reproduce as a female, Chris-chan Sonichu impregnated himself with a sample of his own semen that he had preserved while in his human form. Graduon attacked Cwcville again, but was thwarted by Chris-chan Sonichu once more. Chris-chan Sonichu now tried to transform back into his human form, but was unable. Two weeks later, Chris-chan Sonichu laid two eggs and could now become a human again. A Sonee named Russel and a Rosey named Cynthia hatched from the eggs three weeks later.

[[File:ChrisChan Sonichu Transform 2017.jpg|thumb|Transformation sequence, after becoming a transwoman.]]

It is not clear under what species of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] Chris-chan Sonichu falls; in the original post Chris describes Comic-Chris's self-insemination as occurring while he's in a "(female) Sonichu form" and not in a Rosechu form. Likewise, even after his sex change, the character is still called Chris-chan Sonichu. Upon reflection, however, Chris said that Chris-chan Sonichu could be considered a Rosechu and suggested a possible new name: "Chrissy-Chan Rosechu."

Chris-chan Sonichu's new design does not differ significantly from his previous one. His shoes are now green and blue rather than black and white, his tail has changed into a heart-shaped form (because female Pikachus have similar tails<ref>[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Pikachu_(Pok%C3%A9mon)#Biology Pikachu Biology]</ref>), and he has large breasts. Other than that he retains his previous physical characteristics. The shape of his ears is the same as that of male Sonichus (such as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Punchy]] and [[Magi-Chan]]), and does not resemble those of Rosechus (such as [[Rosechu]], [[Angelica]] and [[Bubbles]]).

In [[2017]], Chris illustrated Chris-chan Sonichu's transformation sequence, which uses elements from ''[[My Little Pony|MLP]]'' and ''[[Sailor Moon]]''. He acknowledged being inspired by the latter.<ref>[[July 2017 Facebook posts#Inspired by Sailor Moon]]</ref>

== Powers ==
Being a [[GodJesus|God]]-mode Sue for Chris, Chris-Chan Sonichu has shown many powers over the course of the comic, any one of which should theoretically allow him to win any battle, but none of which are ever used except as a finishing move, and sometimes only in conjunction with another person helping. Chris's powers allow him super speed, flight, teleportation at will, use of [[Pokémon]] attacks, the ability to summon swords or bombs made of lightning, and, as a human, the ability to make himself invisible, kill people with his mind, put curses on people and use any and all powers of the Chaotic Combo, which Chris claims his Chris-Chan Sonichu form is capable of as well.<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref> In the order that they were first mentioned or used in the comic, Chris-Chan Sonichu's powers include, but are not limited to:

#Mega Kick
#Double Team
#Mirror Coat
#Thunderbolt
#Barrier
#[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]
#Super speed
#Hyper Beam
#Mach Punch
#[[Wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|Team Blast]]: Blue Fireball Attack (with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and [[Saramah Rosechu]])
#Flight (as [[Anime Wings|Super Chris-Chan Sonichu]])
#Aerial Ace (as [[Anime Wings|Super Chris-Chan Sonichu]])
#Substitute
#Sky Uppercut
#Double Corkscrew Kick (with [[Crystalina Rosechu]])
#Sword of Lightning
#Mega Punch
#[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]] (with [[Crystalina Rosechu]])
#Quick Thunder
#Lightning Bomb
#Chaotic Control
#Reflect Dome

Please note that only the powers Chris-Chan Sonichu is seen using are listed here. Human Chris's powers and [[Collosal Chan]]'s powers are excluded from the list.

===Deity powers===
{{main|CPU Blue Heart}}

==Voice==
Chris recorded lines for Chris Chan Sonichu for the [[Sonic World]] fan game, hoping for a mod of the character.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:125-ChrisChan.jpg|The fursona itself.
File:126-YuCChan.jpg|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' Card.
File:123-ACCChan.jpg|''[[Animal Crossing]]'' Card.
File:124-ACChanBck.jpg|Whenever he needs to take the limelight for himself, he's there!
File:ModNation ChrisChanSonichu.jpg| As he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Super-mode.jpg|Chris-Chan Sonichu IRL.
File:Med 80.jpg|Chris-Chan Sonichu [[medallion]] made by Chris for a satisfied [[eBay]] customer.
File:True and Honest Fan Art.jpg|Artist's depiction.
File:Soldier of Love and Honesty.png|[[Sailor Moon|Soldier]] of [[Sex|love]] and [[HONEST|honesty]].
File:128677654690.jpg|Chris-Chan Sonichu with a [[rainbow]] backround.
File:CCSonichu1.jpg|[[Tomgirl Saga|Transformation]] from [[JERKS|male]] to female.
File:CCSonichu2.jpg|[[Women|Female]] Chris-Chan Sonichu [[amiibo]].
File:CCSonichu3.jpg
File:CCSonichu4.jpg
File:Super Chris chan Sonichu.jpg|Super form from [[TSSSF]]
</gallery></center>

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER
| video = {{#ev:youtube|LsFeQTlFoEk}}
| stardate = 20 [[August 2012]]
| maker = PatientBC
| subject = [[Anime]]
| type =
| info = Original video: [[ECV 00002]]}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = That Boy Is a Monster
| video = {{#ev:youtube|f4N_wGyVnVQ}}
| stardate = 29 [[March 2020]]
| maker = the sergeant at arms
| subject = Chris' transformation
| type =
| info = }}

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Collosal Chan]]
*[[Sonichu medallion]]
*[[High School Ring]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Sonichu Balls

2021-03-23T15:03:03Z

FellandFair:

[[Image:Sb3.jpg|thumb|right|The seven balls.]]
[[File:128-CChanMegagi.jpg|thumb|[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Megagi La Skunk]] pose with their balls out.]]
The '''Sonichu Balls''' are seven {{w|Plot device|plot coupons}} resembling [[Pokémon|Poké Balls]] that the heroes of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' aim to collect. They also seem to have elements taken from the [[Dragon Ball|Dragon Balls]].

In the [[Official Videobooks]] Chris begins to refer to them as '''[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|"Sonichu Crystals"]]''', presumably to quell all the balls jokes. Still, the story's still about a group of guys leaving their women behind as they all go out to look for multicolored crystals together. He also calls them "'''Sonichu Ball Crystals'''" from time to time, rendering the whole endeavor pointless.

Chris [[retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] the Balls ''yet again'' in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where they became "'''Chaotic Crystals'''". This further cemented their status as [[Things Chris has ripped off|rip-offs of Chaos Emeralds]].

They are not to be confused with [[S-Chu Ball|S-Chu Balls]], although Chris added to the confusion when he called them "'''S-Chu Crystal Balls'''" in 2020.
==Origin==
As revealed on the [[CWCipedia]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms]</ref>, the Sonichu Balls were created by the same [[rainbow]] that was unleashed by [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]'s creation, going all the way back to [[Sonichu chronology#1900|1900]], trapping it inside a Ancient Tablet in the land of [[RuleCWC]].

According to [[Darkbind Sonichu]], the Sonichu Balls were unleashed from an ancient tablet by the evil wizard [[Clawdorf]]. Clawdorf used the power to curse Darkbind's [[gal pal|gal-pal]] [[Zelina Rosechu]] into a magic sleep. In the process, however, Clawdorf was turned to stone, leaving Darkbind to gather the Sonichu Balls and use them to break the curse. How Darkbind knows this will work, and why the Sonichu Balls were scattered throughout the world in the first place, are never explained.

==Summary==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Image
!Color
! Introduced
! Location
!Recovered by
|-
|[[File:Sb1.jpg|80px]]
|Red & light blue
|[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]
|[[RuleCWC]]
| [[Darkbind Sonichu]], then taken by [[Magi-Chan]]
|-
|[[File:Sb2.jpg|80px]]
|Yellow
|[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]
|Unknown
|[[Magi-Chan]]
|-
|[[File:Sb4.jpg|80px]]
|Purple
|[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]
|Kay Jewelers store, [[CWCville Mall]]<ref>[http://www.kay.com/en/kaystore]</ref>
|Stolen by [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and [[Blake|Black Sonichu]], then taken by [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
|-
|[[File:Sb5.jpg|80px]]
|White
|[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]
|Gym of [[Manchester High School]], [[1996]]
|[[Magi-Chan]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
|[[File:Sb6.jpg|80px]]
|Blue
|[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
|An empty room in the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent_garbage.com Building]], Clarksville, Tennessee
|[[Wild Sonichu]]
|-
|[[File:Sb7.jpg|80px]]
|Light green
|[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
|Five miles off the [[Virginia]] coastline
|[[Bubbles Rosechu]]
|-
|[[File:December25CrystalBall.jpg|80px]]
|Orange
|[[December 2020 social media posts#Seven Crystal Balls|December 2020 Tweet]]
| Manifested at the [[14 Branchland Court|temple of Chris-chan Sonichu]]
|[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
|}

==Influences==

Like anything else in ''Sonichu'', the Sonichu Balls appear to be little more than a mish-mash of other people's ideas. The four most likely sources are as follows:

*Superficially, the Sonichu Balls most closely resemble Poké Balls, the red and white capsules used by [[Pokémon]] Trainers to keep their Pokémon in when they're not engaged in bloodsport.
*Each Sonichu Ball is a different color, reminiscent of the [[Chaos Emeralds]], seven multicolored jewels featured in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] video games.
*The search for the Sonichu Balls bears some resemblance to the [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Balls]], seven orange balls which, when gathered together summon a magic dragon who grants a wish. The Dragon Balls scatter after each wish, meaning they have to be tracked down again every time they're used, which might explain why the Sonichu Balls had to be located after Clawdorf unleashed them.
*The Zeo Crystals from the ''[[Power Rangers]]'' franchise, were sent into random places and times. but instead of Sonichu Balls being in a volcano or requiring some type of trial to get them, Sonichu Balls are convinently found somewhere in or around CWCville.

==Powers==

No one knew what the hell the Sonichu Balls were supposed to do.
[[Image:219-UltraSchuPose.jpg|right|thumb|200px|ULTRA SONICHU! (aka Down's Syndrome Sonichu)]]
Since they're essentially just stand-ins for the Chaos Emeralds, however, collecting them all gives Sonichu the power to transform temporarily into [[Ultra Sonichu]], Chris's long-hinted-at "super" form of [[Sonichu]]. However, there was no indication that this would happen in the series until it just kind of... did.

[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]] attempted to aim one of the Balls like a weapon, although he never got the chance to use it, so there's no telling what, if anything, it would have done.

For most of the series, the Sonichu Balls mostly just seem to screw people over. They turned [[Clawdorf]] to stone, glow at inappropriate times, and fling people into a "[[Time Void]]". For some reason, holding two of the Sonichu Balls caused Wild's invisibility power to konk out, and [[Blake]] got owned by [[Silvana]] because Bubbles was searching for another. It wouldn't have surprised anyone if they exploded or something once they were all in the same room. Instead they just turned Chris into slightly more of a Mary Sue.

''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]'' shows that [[homos|holding a Ball or two]] can at least increase [[Magi-Chan]]'s psychic powers enough for him to travel reliably through time, before finally being used for presumably their true purpose as [[Chaos Emeralds|Chaos Emerald]] ripoffs: transforming Sonichu into his [[Ultra Sonichu|Super Form]]. It also allows Chris to transform into his [[Collosal Chan|hobo form]].

Another curious property of the Sonichu Balls is that they can be absorbed into a person's arms. In the time void, the two Balls Chris holds enter his arms for no obvious reason (likely, just so Chris wouldn't have to draw them regularly). Later, Wild prays to the Sonichu Balls or something, and they disappear into his arms, enabling him to use his hands. After he escapes the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building, he says a silly rhyme to command the Balls to rematerialize. How he knows to do any of this is — yep, you guessed it — never explained. You'd almost think Chris didn't put very much thought into this storyline.

==Appearances==
===The search begins===

The Sonichu Balls would not be mentioned again until [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], when [[Magi-Chan]] theorizes that the combined power of all seven Sonichu Balls could free [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]] from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], based on the mirror's reaction to the one Sonichu Ball in their possession.

Magi-Chan never explains how he learned of the Sonichu Balls, or how he found the one in his possession. Nevertheless, the next several episodes of the series are dedicated to the [[Electric Hedgehog]]s' quest to hunt down the other six Balls. Magi-Chan suggests the seven Chaos Emeralds as a possible alternative, but this is never explored.

Since the Sonichu Balls glow when two or more of them are in proximity to each other, Magi-Chan discovers Darkbind's two Sonichu Balls during their conference in ''Sonichu'' #6. Coincidentally, a fourth happens to be in the Kay Jewelers store in [[CWCville Mall]], which is stolen almost immediately after Magi-Chan and Darkbind's balls are first revealed.

The thieves, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and [[Black Sonichu]], use explosives in a daring daylight robbery. Reldnahc boasts that the Sonichu Ball will help him take over the world, and when Chris confronts him, he wields the Sonichu Ball as a weapon, threatening to finish Chris off. His attack is prevented by the timely ambush of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], who recovers the Sonichu Ball and gives it to Chris. For those of you keeping score, that makes four Sonichu Balls out of seven recovered within 23 pages.

===Random locations===
The search continues in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], when Magi-Chan uses one of the Balls in conjunction with his psychic powers to locate the fifth ball in [[Manchester High School]], but stuck in the recent past. Together with [[Sonichu]] and Chris, Magi-Chan leads an expedition back in time to [[Sonichu chronology#1996|1996]], when the Sonichu Ball materialized and hit Chris on his head the day he created Bionic the Hedgehog. Sort of like the apple hitting Isaac Newton, only with more fail.

After successfully retrieving the Sonichu Ball, the trio return to their own time, but Chris, holding his two Balls in his hands, is flung into the [[Time Void]], apparently propelled by some unexplained energy burst from the Sonichu Balls. Magi-Chan expresses confidence that Chris can be brought back, but is uncertain as to when or how.

In the meantime, Magi-Chan continues tracking down the remaining Sonichu Balls. He detects the sixth in the [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent garbage.com Building]] in Clarksville, Tennessee, and dispatches [[Wild|Wild Sonichu]] to retrieve it while Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] meet with [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to protest the [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]] page. Wild sneaks into the building undetected, and discovers the Ball stored in an empty room. It is not explained how the 4-cent_garbage.com guys got a Sonichu Ball, what they intended to do with it, or even if they knew it was there at all.

The seventh Sonichu Ball is detected five miles off the [[Virginia]] coastline during [[CWCville]]'s Spring Break (which the characters observe despite none of them being in university), and Magi-Chan sends [[Bubbles]] to locate it. She recovers the Ball without incident and [[Angelica]] flies it back to CWCville Mall.

===Chris returns===

With the other five Sonichu Balls gathered in Christian's office, all that remains is for Chris himself to return from the [[Time Void]], along with the two Balls in his possession. At the end of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] Chris just falls out of the Time Void on his own without any incident.

===The Balls united===

After Chris spends thirty pages or so killing trolls, wasting time on plans and the like, Chris finally uses the damn things, transforming himself and Sonichu into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Chris uses his power to just walk in and pull [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his sister]] out of the Mirror without fanfare. Ultra Sonichu uses his power to wake up [[Zelina Rosechu]], who replies to her predicament with "Awww." The two reunite and fly to Minnesota and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary's]] home, where Chris invades Alec's computer, deletes the Asperpedia, steals a dating sim and blows up his [[Hex Box]]. Ultra Sonichu, however, finds Asperchu and the Sonichu and Chaotic Combo of that universe and proceeds to use "Chaotic Remedy" to rid them of their personality (which he mistakes for Asperger's syndrome). Collosal Chris-Chan arrives to much fanfare and, after a brief battle with Metal Asperchu, does not much else with his God-like powers until he eventually confronts Mary Lee Walsh. As Sonichu was clearly able to defeat her in his normal form in the previous issue, but chose not to as it was Chris's right to defeat her, there's absolutely no point in Chris wasting his super form on this fight.

Darkbind seemed somewhat concerned at first that sharing his Balls with the others would endanger his plans for them. This suggests that the Sonichu Balls can only be used once, although this doesn't matter because Crystal is freed from the mirror and Zelina is revived with just one use of the Balls.

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], it is revealed that after Chris was done running around as Colossal Chan, the energy from the Sonichu Balls depart from him. This causes the Sonichu Balls to shatter, creating [[Sonichite]].
===The eighth ball===
On [[Christmas]] Day 2020, Chris claimed that an eighth Sonichu Ball (which he called the "S-Chu Crystal Balls") had manifested at the temple of Chris Chan Sonichu, i.e. [[14 Branchland Court]]. The retconned history said that the Balls had existed "between [[1218]] and [[C-197]] [...] manifested from the Chaos Emerald energy from the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] of 2003, the seven of them were broken to make the [[Mega Stones]]."<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts]]</ref>
==See also==
*[[S-Chu Ball]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Plot Devices]]

Sonichu Balls

2021-03-23T15:02:47Z

FellandFair:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Sb3.jpg|thumb|right|The seven balls.]]
[[File:128-CChanMegagi.jpg|thumb|[[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Megagi La Skunk]] pose with their balls out.]]
The '''Sonichu Balls''' are seven {{w|Plot device|plot coupons}} resembling [[Pokémon|Poké Balls]] that the heroes of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' aim to collect. They also seem to have elements taken from the [[Dragon Ball|Dragon Balls]].

In the [[Official Videobooks]] Chris begins to refer to them as '''[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|"Sonichu Crystals"]]''', presumably to quell all the balls jokes. Still, the story's still about a group of guys leaving their women behind as they all go out to look for multicolored crystals together. He also calls them "'''Sonichu Ball Crystals'''" from time to time, rendering the whole endeavor pointless.

Chris [[retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] the Balls ''yet again'' in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where they became "'''Chaotic Crystals'''". This further cemented their status as [[Things Chris has ripped off|rip-offs of Chaos Emeralds]].

They are not to be confused with [[S-Chu Ball|S-Chu Balls]], although Chris added to the confusion when he called them "'''S-Chu Crystal Balls'''" in 2020.
==Origin==
As revealed on the [[CWCipedia]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms]</ref>, the Sonichu Balls were created by the same [[rainbow]] that was unleashed by [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]'s creation, going all the way back to [[Sonichu chronology#1900|1900]], trapping it inside a Ancient Tablet in the land of [[RuleCWC]].

According to [[Darkbind Sonichu]], the Sonichu Balls were unleashed from an ancient tablet by the evil wizard [[Clawdorf]]. Clawdorf used the power to curse Darkbind's [[gal pal|gal-pal]] [[Zelina Rosechu]] into a magic sleep. In the process, however, Clawdorf was turned to stone, leaving Darkbind to gather the Sonichu Balls and use them to break the curse. How Darkbind knows this will work, and why the Sonichu Balls were scattered throughout the world in the first place, are never explained.

==Summary==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Image
!Color
! Introduced
! Location
!Recovered by
|-
|[[File:Sb1.jpg|80px]]
|Red & light blue
|[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]
|[[RuleCWC]]
| [[Darkbind Sonichu]], then taken by [[Magi-Chan]]
|-
|[[File:Sb2.jpg|80px]]
|Yellow
|[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]
|Unknown
|[[Magi-Chan]]
|-
|[[File:Sb4.jpg|80px]]
|Purple
|[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]
|Kay Jewelers store, [[CWCville Mall]]<ref>[http://www.kay.com/en/kaystore]</ref>
|Stolen by [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and [[Blake|Black Sonichu]], then taken by [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
|-
|[[File:Sb5.jpg|80px]]
|White
|[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]
|Gym of [[Manchester High School]], [[1996]]
|[[Magi-Chan]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
|[[File:Sb6.jpg|80px]]
|Blue
|[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
|An empty room in the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent_garbage.com Building]], Clarksville, Tennessee
|[[Wild Sonichu]]
|-
|[[File:Sb7.jpg|80px]]
|Light green
|[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
|Five miles off the [[Virginia]] coastline
|[[Bubbles Rosechu]]
|-
|[[File:December25CrystalBall.jpg|80px]]
|Orange
|[[December 2020 social media posts#Seven Crystal Balls|December 2020 Tweet]]
| Manifested at the [[14 Branchland Court|temple of Chris-chan Sonichu]]
|[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
|}

==Influences==

Like anything else in ''Sonichu'', the Sonichu Balls appear to be little more than a mish-mash of other people's ideas. The four most likely sources are as follows:

*Superficially, the Sonichu Balls most closely resemble Poké Balls, the red and white capsules used by [[Pokémon]] Trainers to keep their Pokémon in when they're not engaged in bloodsport.
*Each Sonichu Ball is a different color, reminiscent of the [[Chaos Emeralds]], seven multicolored jewels featured in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] video games.
*The search for the Sonichu Balls bears some resemblance to the [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Balls]], seven orange balls which, when gathered together summon a magic dragon who grants a wish. The Dragon Balls scatter after each wish, meaning they have to be tracked down again every time they're used, which might explain why the Sonichu Balls had to be located after Clawdorf unleashed them.
*The Zeo Crystals from the ''[[Power Rangers]]'' franchise, were sent into random places and times. but instead of Sonichu Balls being in a volcano or requiring some type of trial to get them, Sonichu Balls are convinently found somewhere in or around CWCville.

==Powers==

No one knew what the hell the Sonichu Balls were supposed to do.
[[Image:219-UltraSchuPose.jpg|right|thumb|200px|ULTRA SONICHU! (aka Down's Syndrome Sonichu)]]
Since they're essentially just stand-ins for the Chaos Emeralds, however, collecting them all gives Sonichu the power to transform temporarily into [[Ultra Sonichu]], Chris's long-hinted-at "super" form of [[Sonichu]]. However, there was no indication that this would happen in the series until it just kind of... did.

[[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Reldnahc]] attempted to aim one of the Balls like a weapon, although he never got the chance to use it, so there's no telling what, if anything, it would have done.

For most of the series, the Sonichu Balls mostly just seem to screw people over. They turned [[Clawdorf]] to stone, glow at inappropriate times, and fling people into a "[[Time Void]]". For some reason, holding two of the Sonichu Balls caused Wild's invisibility power to konk out, and [[Blake]] got owned by [[Silvana]] because Bubbles was searching for another. It wouldn't have surprised anyone if they exploded or something once they were all in the same room. Instead they just turned Chris into slightly more of a Mary Sue.

''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]'' shows that [[homos|holding a Ball or two]] can at least increase [[Magi-Chan]]'s psychic powers enough for him to travel reliably through time, before finally being used for presumably their true purpose as [[Chaos Emeralds|Chaos Emerald]] ripoffs: transforming Sonichu into his [[Ultra Sonichu|Super Form]]. It also allows Chris to transform into his [[Collosal Chan|hobo form]].

Another curious property of the Sonichu Balls is that they can be absorbed into a person's arms. In the time void, the two Balls Chris holds enter his arms for no obvious reason (likely, just so Chris wouldn't have to draw them regularly). Later, Wild prays to the Sonichu Balls or something, and they disappear into his arms, enabling him to use his hands. After he escapes the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building, he says a silly rhyme to command the Balls to rematerialize. How he knows to do any of this is — yep, you guessed it — never explained. You'd almost think Chris didn't put very much thought into this storyline.

==Appearances==
===The search begins===

The Sonichu Balls would not be mentioned again until [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], when [[Magi-Chan]] theorizes that the combined power of all seven Sonichu Balls could free [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]] from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], based on the mirror's reaction to the one Sonichu Ball in their possession.

Magi-Chan never explains how he learned of the Sonichu Balls, or how he found the one in his possession. Nevertheless, the next several episodes of the series are dedicated to the [[Electric Hedgehog]]s' quest to hunt down the other six Balls. Magi-Chan suggests the seven Chaos Emeralds as a possible alternative, but this is never explored.

Since the Sonichu Balls glow when two or more of them are in proximity to each other, Magi-Chan discovers Darkbind's two Sonichu Balls during their conference in ''Sonichu'' #6. Coincidentally, a fourth happens to be in the Kay Jewelers store in [[CWCville Mall]], which is stolen almost immediately after Magi-Chan and Darkbind's balls are first revealed.

The thieves, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and [[Black Sonichu]], use explosives in a daring daylight robbery. Reldnahc boasts that the Sonichu Ball will help him take over the world, and when Chris confronts him, he wields the Sonichu Ball as a weapon, threatening to finish Chris off. His attack is prevented by the timely ambush of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], who recovers the Sonichu Ball and gives it to Chris. For those of you keeping score, that makes four Sonichu Balls out of seven recovered within 23 pages.

===Random locations===
The search continues in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], when Magi-Chan uses one of the Balls in conjunction with his psychic powers to locate the fifth ball in [[Manchester High School]], but stuck in the recent past. Together with [[Sonichu]] and Chris, Magi-Chan leads an expedition back in time to [[Sonichu chronology#1996|1996]], when the Sonichu Ball materialized and hit Chris on his head the day he created Bionic the Hedgehog. Sort of like the apple hitting Isaac Newton, only with more fail.

After successfully retrieving the Sonichu Ball, the trio return to their own time, but Chris, holding his two Balls in his hands, is flung into the [[Time Void]], apparently propelled by some unexplained energy burst from the Sonichu Balls. Magi-Chan expresses confidence that Chris can be brought back, but is uncertain as to when or how.

In the meantime, Magi-Chan continues tracking down the remaining Sonichu Balls. He detects the sixth in the [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent garbage.com Building]] in Clarksville, Tennessee, and dispatches [[Wild|Wild Sonichu]] to retrieve it while Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] meet with [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to protest the [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]] page. Wild sneaks into the building undetected, and discovers the Ball stored in an empty room. It is not explained how the 4-cent_garbage.com guys got a Sonichu Ball, what they intended to do with it, or even if they knew it was there at all.

The seventh Sonichu Ball is detected five miles off the [[Virginia]] coastline during [[CWCville]]'s Spring Break (which the characters observe despite none of them being in university), and Magi-Chan sends [[Bubbles]] to locate it. She recovers the Ball without incident and [[Angelica]] flies it back to CWCville Mall.

===Chris returns===

With the other five Sonichu Balls gathered in Christian's office, all that remains is for Chris himself to return from the [[Time Void]], along with the two Balls in his possession. At the end of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] Chris just falls out of the Time Void on his own without any incident.

===The Balls united===

After Chris spends thirty pages or so killing trolls, wasting time on plans and the like, Chris finally uses the damn things, transforming himself and Sonichu into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Chris uses his power to just walk in and pull [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his sister]] out of the Mirror without fanfare. Ultra Sonichu uses his power to wake up [[Zelina Rosechu]], who replies to her predicament with "Awww." The two reunite and fly to Minnesota and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary's]] home, where Chris invades Alec's computer, deletes the Asperpedia, steals a dating sim and blows up his [[Hex Box]]. Ultra Sonichu, however, finds Asperchu and the Sonichu and Chaotic Combo of that universe and proceeds to use "Chaotic Remedy" to rid them of their personality (which he mistakes for Asperger's syndrome). Collosal Chris-Chan arrives to much fanfare and, after a brief battle with Metal Asperchu, does not much else with his God-like powers until he eventually confronts Mary Lee Walsh. As Sonichu was clearly able to defeat her in his normal form in the previous issue, but chose not to as it was Chris's right to defeat her, there's absolutely no point in Chris wasting his super form on this fight.

Darkbind seemed somewhat concerned at first that sharing his Balls with the others would endanger his plans for them. This suggests that the Sonichu Balls can only be used once, although this doesn't matter because Crystal is freed from the mirror and Zelina is revived with just one use of the Balls.

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], it is revealed that after Chris was done running around as Colossal Chan, the energy from the Sonichu Balls depart from him. This causes the Sonichu Balls to shatter, creating [[Sonichite]].
===The eighth ball===
On [[Christmas]] Day 2020, Chris claimed that an eighth Sonichu Ball (which he called the "S-Chu Crystal Balls") had manifested at the temple of Chris Chan Sonichu, i.e. [[14 Branchland Court]]. The retconned history said that the Balls had existed "between [[1218]] and [[C-197]] [...] manifested from the Chaos Emerald energy from the [[Chaotic Rainbow]] of 2003, the seven of them were broken to make the [[Mega Stones]]."<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts]]</ref>
==See also==
*[[S-Chu Ball]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Plot Devices]]

Imaginary family

2021-03-23T14:56:18Z

FellandFair: /* Could Chris actually have a daughter? */

:''This article is about Chris's imaginary daughter. For Chris's imaginary twin sister, see [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]].''

{{Wise|by drawing himself buttfucking [[Sonichu]], then Sonichu will become pregnant with Crystal at some point.}}

{{quote|As for where I see myself, I am uncertain career-wise, but [[Dreams|I HAVE A DREAM]]! And that dream is to find the woman to make my Sweetheart from honest, true friendship, make her my wife, and from us, have a daughter named Crystal Weston Chandler. I've had a number of dreams where I take care of and tend to the needs of my baby, Crystal. And from all those dreams, I knew they were God's wishes for my future.|Chris, presuming to know the wishes of GodBear<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

[[Image:09-Crystal_Card.jpg|thumb|Crystal as a [[My Little Pony]] character]]

Around the age of [[2003|21]], [[Chris]] had multiple [[dreams]] in which [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] told him to find a [[sweetheart]] to build [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|from the ground-up]] to have his '''daughter Crystal''', named "after the [[Honor roll|illustrious metal]]",<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> according to him. In a custom ''[[My Little Pony]]'' trading card, Chris depicts Crystal as a pony who traveled back in time to help her father – Chris – find a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. This is [[Things Chris has ripped off|completely ripped off]] from Chibiusa's entire premise in ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.

==Crystal and the Love Quest==
[[Image:CrystalWestonChandler.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's impression. This is probably also Chris's impression. It is also the impression that no one ever wants to see become a reality.]]

Finding a woman who would birth Crystal has been a fairly consistent justification for Chris's [[Love Quest]]. At times he has seemed to be more [[Honest Content|honest]] in wanting a girlfriend so he can [[Chris and sex|get laid]] or prove he's straight. For example, when Julie expressed a desire to have a child, possibly with Chris, he was ambivalent, and seemed more interested in a threesome between Panda, Julie and himself.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3#2009-02-04]]</ref> Yet with new heartthrob Ivy, his fantasy of making a family was strong, and Chris was upset when Ivy said she didn't like the name Crystal, and demanded a say in their daughter's name.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Likewise, in a dialogue with potential sweetheart [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]], Chris revealed that he had a "[[Chris and religion|prophetic]]" dream about Crystal when he was between the ages of seven and nine. He reiterated this later in the conversation, saying he was "definitely in elementary school", when he dreamed about giving birth to a daughter (in the dream he had [[Chris and work|an office job]], which also [[Chris's resume|won't happen]]). "Give birth" slipped out, as in Chris would like to [[Pregnant Act|gestate a human female infant within his body]] (or perhaps [[Monty Python|in a box]]) and somehow deliver her into the world. While it's most likely that Chris just fucked up while talking due to [[stress]] and [[autism]], this could also be a Freudian slip suggesting that Chris has some [[Homos|gender]] [[Pregnant Act|identity]] [[tomgirl|issues]], which typically begin in childhood. It's also somewhat possible that he doesn't know that the mother is the only one who gives birth, seeing how he [[Chris and English|uses it in other contexts]].

After Kacey, [[Jackie]] was next in line as the vessel for which Chris' gift from God was to be bestowed. Crystal was featured in Lego form in the [[PlayingHouse]] video. Despite only being in preschool, she's advanced enough to keep a diary and look after her baby brother [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]].

== The influence of the Idea Guys ==
[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|300px|Chris draws himself buttfucking his "son", [[Sonichu]], to guarantee Crystal's birth... [[Biology|Somehow.]]]]

In [[December 2017]], Chris was [[brainwashed]] by the [[Idea Guys]] over how Crystal would be born. Role-playing as [[Magi-Chan]] to Chris, an Idea Guy explained that the male [[Sonichu]] would become pregnant with Crystal after being impregnated by Chris through buttsex, and that by drawing it happening, Chris wouldn't have to do nasty anal himself.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A#Trolling Jessica Quinn, drawing of Chris fucking Sonichu]]</ref> Chris actually believed this, and produced the drawing to appease them, even though [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|his comic book counterpart]] allegedly does not have a [[Duck|penis]] [[Transgender|post-transition]]. Suffice it to say, nothing ever came of this.

[[Chris lost Crystal]], an undated, leaked video from the Idea Guys saga (although it's mostly due to the influence of the [[Teen Troon Squad]]), shows Chris yelling at a toilet, demanding to know what happened to his "baby". No context has been provided for the video, aside from some associated text provided by the Squad confirming that Crystal was the baby that Chris was screaming about, and not Reginald. However, it's possible that the drawn incident with Chris rawdogging Sonichu may have resulted in Crystal existing ([[Chris and reality|at least in his mind]]) before [[Dark Mirror Hole|disappearing from this world]].

Crystal apparently wrote a [[Future message from Crystal W Chandler|future message]] delivered by her brother Reginald ([[Enablers|actually a troll playing along with Chris's delusions]]). The message itself describes Chris's goals of becoming a parent and warns people to make adjustments to their lives ahead of the coming [[Dimensional Merge]].

Like with much of the Idea Guys' lore, Chris maintained belief in the Crystal birth prophecy long after their ousting. In November 2019, he mentioned it on Twitter:

{{quotebox|It has been written that the father to me becoming the mother of the future Crystal Weston Chandler Sonichu, is none other than Sonichu (Prime), Himself; my Son. I am not dumb, stupid or blind to what is false from others; my abilities and mentality have improved greatly over the past months and years.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194506176505012225</ref>}}

==Name==
Her name is identical to that of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Chris's sister]] from the comics, leading to some confusion.

It is unclear which spelling he was projecting for his future daughter (although he used "Crystal" in a [[Facebook]] message<ref>[[Facebook messages#Christy Backe]]</ref> and the infamous "Story of My Current Days"<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref>). In the comics he spells his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|stupid fake sister]]'s name "Crystal" consistently, although somebody called "Crystle" appears in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]].

In a [[February 2019 social media posts|2019 survey]] he referred to Crystal as '''Crystal Weston Chandler Rosechu'''.

== Could Chris actually have a daughter? ==

'''<big>Nope!</big>''' Not anymore.

Prior to becoming [[transgender]], Chris's chances of conceiving his God-given daughter were extremely slim, but not impossible – it was at least possible for him to impregnate a woman, however unlikely that would have been owing to obesity's effect on fertility and rather more pressingly actually finding a willing female. However, [[May 2015 Facebook posts|with HRT in session]] Chris is destroying what fertility he once possessed, rendering the odds of actually conceiving a child at 0%.

In November 2014, after being rejected by a sperm bank, he even went as far as asking a friend to be the vessel which will allow Crystal to enter our world<ref>[[Open_Relationship_E-mails#Need_my_daughter]]</ref>, but as addressed, he is no longer producing potent sperm. [[All Star|A later video]] showcased that he has difficulty getting an erection in spite of [[mass debating]] for three straight minutes, which just adds to his list of problems. In Chris's defense, however, he had just [[piss]]ed all over the floor, and such an event usually makes it a bit harder to get it up.

In September 2020, Chris explained that he still has interest in getting a sexual reassignment operation in the hopes of being able to give birth.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref> Unfortunately for Chris, those who undergo a Male-To-Female sexual reassignment surgery are incapable of carrying children. Although some scientists are looking into the possibility of transplanting uteruses into transgender women, Chris would likely be too old or too unhealthy to bear children in the event of such a breakthrough – and that's all presuming that he could save up enough to pay for that in the first place, which seems like wishful thinking, [[Chris and money|considering that money seems to be the only thing that Chris can't hoard]].

In short, Chris will die childless: as long as he avoids [[Financhu Crisis#Future|sinking his finances]] to the point of foreclosure, the [[toys]] that Chris claimed to hoard for his future children will go to the State of Virginia if there is [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|no will]], and none of his [[Minor Family Members|other family members]] step in.<ref>[https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title64.2/chapter2/section64.2-200/ Code of Virginia § 64.2-200]</ref> Regardless of any of this, Chris's unique combination of [[Chris and work|his laziness]], [[Debt|poor financial skills]], [[Chris and negligence|neglect for]] [[Chandler cats|his]] [[Clover and Snoopy|pets]], and [[Chris and mental healthcare|poor grasp]] [[Chris and reality|on reality]] all generally indicate that he'd be a pretty shitty parent even if he could have kids, so in a way it's probably for the better that no child is going to be raised in the cesspit that is [[14 Branchland Court]].

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chandler Family Tree]]
*[[Chris lost Crystal]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]]
*[[Reginald Chandler]]
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Messiah complex

2021-03-23T12:13:42Z

FellandFair: /* Dimensional Merge */

{{HealthDisclosure}}

[[File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Chris and religion|Chris explicitly invoking his own name as a deity]] [[Spirit possession|while pretending to be]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[My Little Pony Protests|as part of his open disdain for ''Pony Life'']].]]

A '''messiah complex''' is the mental state of those who believe they are, or will become, saviors. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] started demonstrating symptoms of this type of psychosis alongside his worsening narcissism and increase in maladapative [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanisms.

In the latter half of the 2010s Chris increasingly started resorting to his fantasy world as a way of [[coping]] with the pressures of [[reality]] and, after being influenced by the [[Idea Guys]]' cult-like grip, (who utilized [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|a parody series about video game deities]] to [[manipulate]] Chris), he gradually built up a belief that these deities really existed in another dimension, and copied the lore about them to make up an imaginary counterpart of himself with their powers, [[CPU Blue Heart]]. Chris also attempted without success to orchestrate a [[Dimensional Merge]] to unite himself with said counterpart to gain an array of godlike powers, all as a maladaptive coping mechanism against his bleak life.

==Origin of the Messiah complex==
{{main|Chris and his ego#Narcissistic personality disorder|Chris and coping}}

Chris's messiah complex grew out of two already existing problems he had, namely his narcissism and his maladaptive coping mechanisms.

[[Chris and reality|Since before his discovery, Chris believed he had magic powers]]; he used to curse people he didn't like ([[JERKS|men]]) and bless people he liked ([[women]]). [[Curse ye ha me ha#Yes, he actually thinks this works|Due to trolls acting like these curses actually worked]], Chris got the confirmation that some of his powers were real. He also thought God and Jesus had a special interest in his life and were appearing in his dreams to help him.

In his comics Chris gave himself god like powers to beat up the people he didn't like and change IRL situations where he was punished by authorities to a situation where he won against the authorities i.e, a Mary Sue. For a long time comic Chris and real Chris were separate individuals in Chris's mind, but with the coming of the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Teen Troon Squad]] the line between reality and fiction got blurred and he mixed himself and his self insert up.

As he had to prove to the fans that his newfound magic powers were real, he came up with the most rational solution he could think of; the dimensional merge. This helped blow his messiah complex out of proportion.

==Dimensional Merge==
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

The Merge is a concept where two dimensions, one where Chris is a loser and another where he is a god are merging where the end result is a single Chris with godlike powers. The Idea Guys created the concept of the merge and Chris immediately believed it because it provided an explanation as to why his powers are being activated after 36 years of his miserable existence.

This was most likely created as a means of [[coping]] from his life where he was the man of the house and had to take care of his mother, pay bills and do tasks he considers to be [[stress|stressful]]. He also uses the merge to justify why he does nothing daily and to give himself hope that things might get better in the future.

To stroke his [[ego]] and get confirmation that his godlike powers are being activated, he made his fictional characters worship him, for him these [[OCs|characters are living]] and their worship is equivalent to worship by actual people. Seeing this, many [[enablers]] also started worshipping him and created a religion based on him to get on his good side. Due to all this reaffirmation in his believes he started thinking he is a god.

==Examples of the Messiah complex==
*Phrases such as "Oh, My Chris Chan!"<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History#Mentions by Chris]]</ref><ref>[[:File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg]]</ref> and "Chris Chan Sonichu is watching over you"<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1271137941411299330</ref> – replacing the word "God" with his nickname.

*Asked people to pray to him multiple times.

*Has said he is looks over others lives to make sure no bad happens to them (though one person he was looking over did get divorced)

*Claims to make sure (many) people don't die of [[COVID-19|diseases]].

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[CPU Blue Heart]]
*[[Chris and coping]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]