CWCki - User contributions [en]

Template:Article of the now

2012-01-31T22:35:05Z

Fenric:

[[Image:Chris_joker.jpg|left|200px|]]

On '''28 October 2011''' - a date that will live in infamy - [[the GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of CWCville.

On that Friday evening, around 5:20 p.m., Chris and Barbara visited the GAMe PLACe and had an altercation with its manager, Michael Snyder. Chris took several photos of Michael on that day, and uploaded them to the CWCki in November.

('''[[28 October 2011|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a way of displaying some of the better quality articles on the CWCki. It is not usually the article that describes the most recent Chris-related event, though it often can be. Suggestions for new articles to be displayed here can be discussed either on [[Template_talk:Article_of_the_now|this template's talk page]], or on the [[CWCki:Community Portal‎]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Template:Article of the now

2011-12-04T14:26:58Z

Fenric:

Template:Article of the now

2011-11-16T14:30:59Z

Fenric:

[[Image:Chris_joker.jpg|left|200px|]]

On '''28 October 2011''' - a date which will live in infamy - [[the GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of CWCville.

On that Friday evening, around 5:20 p.m., Chris and Barbara visited the GAMe PLACe and had an altercation with its manager, Michael Snyder. Chris took several photos of Michael on that day, and uploaded them to the CWCki in November.

('''[[28 October 2011|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a way of displaying some of the better quality articles on the CWCki. It is not usually the article that describes the most recent Chris-related event, though it often can be. Suggestions for new articles to be displayed here can be discussed either on [[Template_talk:Article_of_the_now|this template's talk page]], or on the [[CWCki:Community Portal‎]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]] [[Category: Pages that have been edited by Chris]]</noinclude>

Kacey Call 10

2011-06-02T21:33:55Z

Fenric: Fixing up what's currently here a little - not a complete job, will have to have a shot at transcribing to fix some of it

4 [[September 2009]]

*[[Chris]] mowed the back yard today. His mom mowed the front yard.
*Chris says he jogged around the neighborhood.
*Chris "forgot" to buy [[Bob]] a birthday present. [[Vivian Gee]] didn't forget, she sent him a nice gift basket.
*Chris still hates Vivian for making the [[Audiobooks]] and making a mockery and slander out of him. Kacey likes the Audiobooks.
*Chris didn't read Vivian's book "and he did not care to"; he gave it to his pastor who told Chris it's a mockery of him.
*Chris bought some [[sports bra]]s, he likes them and now wears them all the time.
*Chris was confused by bra sizes, so he had to ask a girl to measure him.
*Chris now understands how women feel because he has to wear a bra too.
*Chris talks about chromosomes, and implies that [[Tomgirl_Pictures|he's part-woman]] or something stupid.
*Chris shaved his belly before taking the [[Sports bra#Gallery|sports bra photos]].
*Chris claims he had manboobs since he was 8 years old.
*Chris has no goals or ambitions, but he once wanted to be a cowboy.
*Chris dreamt that he had a daughter with him at his office job; in the dream he called her Crystal. Clearly this was [[God]] showing him the future.
*Chris would like to get married before he turns 30.
*Chris currently has $10 in his savings, but he's "letting it grow". He also just bought a bunch of video games.
*Chris doesn't want to sell any of his [[video games]], he wants to hold on to them for his children to enjoy.
*Chris admits he's really just keeping the games for himself.
*Kacey calls Chris a hoarder. Chris has never heard of that word.
*Chris blames his hoarding on his parents again, it's all their fault, they're a bunch of packrats.
*If Chris moves any of the shit out, his mom will yell at him.
*Apparently, when Chris asked his parents about moving stuff out of the house, they said "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WE'RE GONNA KICK YOU OUTTA THE HOUSE".

==Transcript==
 '''Chris:''' Hallo
 '''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it’s Kacey
 '''Chris:''' Hay Kas, How are you
 '''Kacey:''' I’m good, how about you
 '''Chris:''' Hey ''[Short Pause]'' Yeah, shoot I had a topic on my head but I can’t remember it right now so how was…
 '''Kacey:''' ''[interrupting]'' Just give yourself a few minutes and think about it. My day was good, you know, just school and everything. I got to do a dissection [Chris: Okay] today, so it was fun.
 '''Chris:''' A dissection, what you had biology? 
 '''Kacey:''' Ym, I’m taking it out of my physiology. I mean, um, yeah, I majored in biology. [giggles]
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yeah that’s right, um, um, um, nurse thing [Kacey: Yeah] so it’s only natural, yeah. Okay, so I mowed the backyard today and my mom mowed the front yaaard
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, that’s good, um, was it really hot out there? Because I know it was hot where I am. 
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, it was warm out here. On the porch we had a bunch of trees.
 '''Kacey:''' Did you ever think that maybe you should do both yards then and let your mom rest?
 '''Chris:''' Aah, I’m sorry, what? I did not understand the question
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe you should have done both the yards, you know instead of your mom being out there in the heat
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' Well, she wa-, she wanted to do it. She was the first one out mowing the lawn.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, so she had to push you to do it. 
 '''Chris:''' Oh no, she did push me to do it but ah, it’s like, you know, I asked her if she would like my help and she said yeah so I ah--
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Yeah, that’s [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' We have a ride-on mower and a push mower. She used the ride-on, I used the push.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' I had to- I even had to push the mover underneath the drooping branches of some of our trees.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Chris:''' Some of our trees have overhanging branches
 '''Kacey:''' You ever think of trimming those branches off then?
 ''[Long pause]''
 '''Chris:''' Hm. ''[pause]''
 '''Kacey:''' You know, so they don’t fall and mess things up
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, we have, uh, uh, we have actually trimmed some of the branches before ''[pause]'' Uh, but they [Kacey: 'kay] grow back, you know.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, you know plants tend to grow, um, so did you do anything else today? 
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, um, after I finished up the yard I took a shower and I went and got a smoothie with my ''[sound of phone ringing in the background]'' Uh, my phone's, my home phone's ringing, let nobody answer it, ha uh, it’s distracting me though, anyway, yeah, ah my family, if I need to go out together to get something to eat so I have to drive me by [unintelligible]. I got a fruit smoothie while I asked at my mom and dad over at coaches while they had, while they shared a pair of hotdogs and fries over at are, over at coaches grill, they had a hotdog and fries, I had a smoothie.
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, well that sounds like fun. It was just a normal family outing, huh?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, and then afterwards, and then after we got back I checked my email and, ah, it went through all, it went through all [unintelligible] and then I walked around the neighborhood. I did a little walking and a little jogging, I got five minutes of jogging in out of the walking, yeah, we had mostly, we have a whole bunch of inclines so it is mostly up and down, in our ''[long stutter]'' in my neighborhood here ''[long pause]'' and I went around prac- ''[long stutter]'' my whole subdivision area
 '''Kacey:''' well I mean I’ve just checked my email too and umm, Kibs said it was your dads birthday so did you guys do anything else besides getting the smoothie
 '''Chris:''' yeah my mom, yeah I was going to get my father, I remembered it was my fathers birthday yesterday and a couple of days before that as well but unfortunately when I was running, I mean I had the money in my bank and, uh, I spaced out and I forgot to buy my father a present but you know it’s all good, my father doesn’t usually, like he doesn’t usually care a lot much, so I can just, cause it is as simple as, you know, go up to Walgreens and get a bag of maple nut goodies for him, he likes those maple nut goodies.
 '''Kacey:''' Ok, ok, well, um, did he get any other presents
 '''Chris:''' uhh, yeah after we got back home from lunch apparently there was a box on our front porch from a, uhh, Cherry Grove Tree company, uhh, it was like a little birthday box and then it was
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] I heard of them they do online orders
 '''Chris:''' I’m sorry what?
 '''Kacey:''' I heard of them they do online orders, you know like [Chris: yeah] edible arrangements and one eight hundred flowers so what, what, uh, did he get
 '''Chris:''' yeah there was a little teddy bear, small bag [Kacey: awwww] of cookies as, couple of pieces of fancy chocolate and some hard, and some spheres [pronounced spears by Chris] of hard candy
 '''Kacey:''' oh my gosh, so who was nice enough to send that to him. That sounds amazing
 '''Chris:''' mmm, yeah but says like get this on the message note it says it was from Vivian and friends, you know, I know Vivian as Vivian Gee who was that witch
 Kacey: [interrupting] oh my gosh that was so nice of her
 '''Chris:''' hmm, yeah but
 '''Kacey:''' [interrupting] so I mean
 [long pause]
 '''Chris:''' I mean I [unintelligible] know [unintelligible]
 '''Kacey:''' you did it right 
'''Kacey:''' [talking over Chris] did your dad like it
 '''Chris:''' yeah he- yeah he liked it, mostly shared it with my mom
 '''Kacey:''' oh, that’s so awesome though, oh, that’s so nice
 '''Chris:''' uh, yeah [unintelligible] it is a nice gesture but
 '''Kacey:''' yeah you should totally be happy to have friends like that
 '''Chris:''' uh
 '''Kacey:''' [talking over Chris] I mean you should thank her, I mean look at that she got your dad a present when you didn’t even, I mean that’s just amazing of her
 [long pause]
 '''Chris:''' uhh, yeah well I mean I was- I was thinking- I was planning on making a video thanking her for that but still you know I don’t- still it doesn’t win me over, you know, it does not turn my feelings around with her on that note, you know I still
 '''Kacey:''' well I don’t see why you are trying to make this a bad thing, I mean she did a vary big gesture of good will, I mean it was towards your dad of all things, I mean that’s huge but I mean what did she do that is making you so mad
 '''Chris:''' come on if you look on her youtube account vivi-the-gee which is for my- which is ahh- oh shit, I have subscribed to that and I blocked her from my youtube, mmm, oh maybe I did but
 '''Kacey:''' she must have said something really bad what was it
 '''Chris:''' uhh, but anyway she made these- she made- behind my back she make these audiobook parodies of my comic pages and that I should- and she did not have my permission on that. She was Clyde- She is- she was Clyde Cash's cousin and Clyde Cash was a major troll in my life- was really
 '''Kacey:''' oh, well maybe you should make a video concerning that, I mean you know
 '''Chris:''' I’m talk- may I finish, anyway [Kacey: whatever] anyway she- anyway aside from that- in addition to all of that she just made a whole bunch of mockeries out of me

{{transcription}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?49thdxgd6gfbnv0 mp3 of phonecall]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 9]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 11]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Sarah Nicole Hammer

2010-08-05T21:13:51Z

Fenric:

[[Image:0715-ChristianWSarah.jpg|thumb|Chris & Sarah]]

<div style="font-style:italic; text-align:center;">
I can never seem to find you 
If only I could keep up with you 
How far I would run, what I would do if you 
Came with me for a thing 
Sometime, somewhere 
Cause from birth to now we are 
BFFs 
 
</div>

'''Sarah Nicole Hammer''' (born 13 October 1982<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 1</ref>) was the girl next door<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> for [[Chris]] from age 2 until around age 10, when he moved away.

==Sarah Hammer in real life==
[[Image:SarahHammerPortrait.jpg|thumb|right|Like anything that looks good in real life, Chris ruins it by drawing it.]]

{{quote|Sarah is Christian's Life-Long Best Friend. She is a spunky gal, and she is very pretty. One may say that she is the spitting image of Britney Spears.|[[:Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg|Sarah Hammer Animal Crossing card]]; who looks nothing like [[Britney Spears]]}}

Chris met Sarah again when he entered [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]. By [[2005]] Chris had come to regard as his best and closest friend, although Chris seems to suggest that he hasn't had much contact with her as compared to childhood.

There has been no contact with Sarah since Chris has come into the spotlight, and unlike Megan there aren't any [[Mimms|trolls]] who know her IRL capable of updating us on her status. There's no evidence that Sarah has even seen the comics, or has any opinion on them.

===Childhood===
{{quote|She brought me a lot out of my [[autism|autistic]] social shell for the time back then.|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992|Wikipedia autobiography]]}}

Chris continues to cherish many important memories with Sarah, such as riding swing sets and playing "hide and [[Comeuppance|seed]]." Once Sarah tried to teach Chris to roller-skate, but Chris fell down and gave up, showing that Chris has no sense of coordination, balance, or dedication.

It is not entirely known if Sarah actually cared about Chris. In [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], Sarah told Chris that Casper the friendly ghost was hiding under the house. Chris, being as [[Autism|childish]] as he's always known to be, fell for it and went to search for him. When Chris entered the crawlspace, Sarah locked him in and left. Eventually, Sarah's father had to come and get him out.

Sarah also tried to convince Chris to put a honeysuckle in his mouth. Specifically the tip, which is poisonous. Chris almost fell for this one, but his parents caught him and warned him of its dangers. And you know what they say. A girl that tries to kill you isn't really your friend.

Sarah and Chris were the same age and may have attended the same elementary school, but Chris moved to [[Richmond]] to attend middle school. For most normal people this would probably be the end of the relationship.

Chris has suggested that he did not originally view Sarah as a potential [[sweetheart]]; this decision apparently came later, most likely due to autism and a sheltered upbringing.

===Got hot===
In between [[2000]] and [[2003]] Sarah shed her old image and became so attractive Chris called her "a splittin'[sic] image of [[Britney Spears]]."<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 9</ref> Normally, people don't find childhood friends to be sexually attractive due to the [[wikipedia:Westermarck Effect|Westermarck Effect]], so either Chris just feels no such effect and would gladly bone a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|sister]] figure, or they didn't know each other well enough as kids for it to take effect. But the fact that he thinks she looks like Britney Spears is probably just because she has boobs and long blonde hair. She actually looks nothing like Britney Spears and has a completely different face shape, showing Chris's complete lack of facial recognition.

===With Wes Iseli===
By Chris's admission, he has not had much contact with Sarah since he moved to Richmond, although at some point he apparently concluded that they were destined to be lovers. The revelation that Sarah was dating local magician/heart-throb [[Wes Iseli]] was clearly traumatic for Chris. On one occasion Chris saw Sarah sitting in Wes's lap, which made Chris visibly jealous; this incident was important enough (to Chris, anyway) to document in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]]. To this day, like with Megan, he gets insanely jealous when he sees a girl sitting on her boyfriend's, or anyone's, lap, because they can have physical contact and he can't.

Chris regards losing Sarah to Wes to be the beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. Although this event technically changed nothing—Chris had never had a girlfriend and still did not—it provoked him into action, giving him a reason to actively seek out and obtain a [[Boyfriend-free girl]].

The lyrics of Christian's song "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]" seem to be addressing Sarah, with Chris conceding the impossibility of romantic love and seeking greater fulfillment in a closer platonic friendship. His comparison of "your boyfriend" (presumably Wes) to [[Black Sonichu]] recast himself and the couple into the hero-lover-rival troika that he developed for [[Sonichu]], and then further refined by featuring Wes as [[Wes-Li Sonichu|an evil hedgehog]] in his own right. Thankfully, Wes's career proved resilient enough to survive the trauma.

===With William Spicer===
At some point Chris learned that Sarah broke up with Wes and then subsequently met another man, [[William Spicer]], who she eventually married. The ups and downs of this news are captured in how the fictional Chris takes the news in [[Sonichu 2]]. Christian does not seem to know anything about Spicer, to the point that when depicting Sarah and William's wedding he depicts the groom as a Yu-Gi-Oh! character so he won't have to draw the actual person. Chris most likely did not attend the wedding.

==Sarah in the comic==
[[Image:Sarah hammer reimagined.png|thumb|left|Artist's impression of Nicole Rammer.]]
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in Issue #2 of Sonichu.]]
Christian first hints at Sarah's involvement in the Sonichu comics in issue #0, where he alludes to three mysterious electric hedgehogs: [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and Saramah Rosechu. This is the closest Chris can come to a slow-building long-term mystery, so of course he [[comeuppance|blows his wad]] right away, introducing the characters in issue #2.

After Chris activated the anchuent powers foretold by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Sarah had a vision of the ancient queen of the [[Cherokian Clan]], who explained her role in the prophecy and gave her the Lightning Bracelets. Using the bracelets Sarah could transform into Saramah Rosechu, whose role in the prophecy would be to maintain the balance between Chris-Chan and Wes-Li.

When Sarah discovered these two hedgehogs, they were already locked in battle. At this point she didn't know who Chris-Chan and Wes-Li were, and so she might have assumed they were merely fighting over their feud in their past lives as the heads of the Cherokians and Wasabi. However, Saramah quickly learned that the hedgehogs were also her old friend Christian and her recent boyfriend [[Wes Iseli]]. Forced to choose between these two men, Saramah remembered who was writing the comic, so she impaled Wes-Li against a tree and broke up with him, citing his cruelty toward Christian. Saramah actually spent more time dressing down Wes than she did battling [[Count Graduon]], the evil she and the others were prognosticated to defeat.

With Wes quickly departing, Chris and Sarah returned to their human forms and caught up on old times. Chris believed he now had an easy path to becoming Sarah's [[sweetheart]], but unfortunately for him she was already interested in another man, [[William Spicer]].

Later, Chris would invisibly attend Sarah's wedding to William Spicer, being on-hand for Wes-Li's attempt to kidnap her. Using his Chris-Chan Sonichu powers and Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Chris rescued Sarah, who then rewarded him by tossing him the bouquet and wished him luck in his pursuit of [[Megan]].

In the [[Sonichu Videobooks]] it's revealed that, like [[Mary Lee Walsh]] (whom Chris now refers to as "Slaweel"), Sarah has had her name changed. This is a side-effect from the early, poorly documented days of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], where [[Jay Z|trolls]] convinced Chris to change the names of the characters based on real people. He now refers to Sarah Hammer as Nicole Rammer: "Nicole," because that's her middle name, and "Rammer" because he's a fucking moron. By doing so, he has destroyed the reason for the name behind her Rosechu form, baffling prospective readers as to why someone named "Nicole" becomes "Sarah" in furry mode.

===Saramah Rosechu===
[[Image:076-IlluminatingSarahama.jpg|thumb|Not creepy at all.]]
{{quote|Sarhamah's[sic] origin is unknown but her radiance shines brighter than the sun. When she shoots her arrows, they fly like lightning bolts. She is also known as a peaceful protector. And she is lovely, angelic, and simply irresistible. |[[:Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg|Sarhamah Rosechu Animal Crossing card]]}}

Most, if not all of Sarah's appearances in Chris's comics are in the form of Saramah [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], using the powers bestowed upon her by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to transform into a furry. She has no actual personality beyond asserting her deep, unabiding friendship with Christian, which again suggests that he knows nothing about this person except what he likes to think she feels about him.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:297-ACSarah.jpg|"Sarah Hammer" Animal Crossing Card
Image:298-ACSarahBck.jpg
Image:299-SarahHammer.jpg
Image:300-ACSarhamah.jpg|"Saramah" Animal Crossing Card
Image:301-ACSarhamahBck.jpg
Image:302-YuSahramah.jpg|Yu-Gi-GIGGIDY
Image:303-Sarhamah.jpg
Image:304-LightningBracelets.jpg
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Sonichu 2]]

==Sauces==
<references />

{{People}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Hammer, Sarah Nicole}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T17:17:26Z

Fenric:

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
[[File:Kellie Andes 2010.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes Today.]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Lyn Andes''' (married name: Kellie Lyn Andes Stowel) was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women that tolerate them.

Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, husband and two children.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, laying it down}}

Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare... then she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a [[niggo]], but that has nothing to do with it.

==Currently==

Kellie is currently living as '''Kellie Andes Stowell''' in Richmond, [[Virginia]], where she works as a firefighter alongside her husband. She is also the mother of a two-year-old boy and a newborn girl.<ref>http://www.myspace.com/57109479</ref> One can hope that she is able to sleep easy without Chris's figure haunting her dreams.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

<center>{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}</center>

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

User:Fenric

2010-08-04T16:25:18Z

Fenric:

I lurk about and revert vandalism. Sometimes, I fix grammar. Hit me with a stick if I do anything wrong.

{{Britfag}}{{Observer}}

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:55:09Z

Fenric:

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:54:39Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107715 by PhilDRich (talk)

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:54:09Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107713 by PhilDRich (talk) Nobody cares.

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:51:38Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107711 by PhilDRich (talk) Somebody needs to take the hint.

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:49:49Z

Fenric:

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:47:54Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107703 by PhilDRich (talk)

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:46:21Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107701 by PhilDRich (talk)

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:45:29Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107698 by PhilDRich (talk)

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:44:19Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107696 by PhilDRich (talk)

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:40:43Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107692 by PhilDRich (talk)

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:37:34Z

Fenric: Fixing some stuff.

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:36:38Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107684 by PhilDRich (talk)

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
[[File:Kellie Andes 2010.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes Today.]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Lyn Andes''' (married name: Kellie Lyn Andes Stowel) was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women that tolerate them.

Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, husband and two children.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, laying it down}}

Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare... then she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a [[niggo]], but that has nothing to do with it.

Kellis is cool. Christian is gay and he likes down low black guys only. No white-ness.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

<center>{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}</center>

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:32:32Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107682 by PhilDRich (talk).

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:31:31Z

Fenric: /* Currently */

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:30:12Z

Fenric:

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
[[File:Kellie Andes 2010.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes Today.]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Lyn Andes''' (married name: Kellie Lyn Andes Stowel) was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women that tolerate them.

Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, husband and two children.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, laying it down}}

Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare... then she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a [[niggo]], but that has nothing to do with it.

==Currently==

Kellie is currently living as '''Kellie Andes Stowell''' in Richmond, [[Virginia]], where she works as a firefighter alongside her husband. She is also the mother of a two-year-old boy and a newborn girl.<ref>http://www.myspace.com/57109479</ref> One can hope that she is able to sleep easy without Christian popping up in her dreams or should I say nightmares.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

<center>{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}</center>

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:29:00Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107677 by PhilDRich (talk)

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
[[File:Kellie Andes 2010.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes Today.]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Lyn Andes''' (married name: Kellie Lyn Andes Stowel) was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women that tolerate them.

Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, husband and two children.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, laying it down}}

Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare... then she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a [[niggo]], but that has nothing to do with it.

==Currently==

Kellie is currently living as '''Kellie Andes Stowell''' in Richmond, [[Virginia]], where she works as a firefighter alongside her husband. She is also the mother of a two-year-old boy and a newborn girl.<ref>http://www.myspace.com/57109479</ref> One can hope that she is able to sleep easy without Chris's figure haunting her dreams.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:28:04Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107674 by PhilDRich (talk)

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
[[File:Kellie Andes 2010.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes Today.]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Lyn Andes''' (married name: Kellie Lyn Andes Stowel) was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women that tolerate them.

Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, husband and two children.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, laying it down}}

Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare... then she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a [[niggo]], but that has nothing to do with it.

==Currently==

Kellie is currently living as '''Kellie Andes Stowell''' in Richmond, [[Virginia]], where she works as a firefighter alongside her husband. She is also the mother of a two-year-old boy and a newborn girl.<ref>http://www.myspace.com/57109479</ref> One can hope that she is able to sleep easy without Chris's figure haunting her dreams.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:25:34Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107672 by PhilDRich (talk)

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
[[File:Kellie Andes 2010.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes Today.]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Lyn Andes''' (married name: Kellie Lyn Andes Stowel) was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women that tolerate them.

Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, husband and two children.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, laying it down}}

Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare... then she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a [[niggo]], but that has nothing to do with it.

==Currently==

Kellie is currently living as '''Kellie Andes Stowell''' in Richmond, [[Virginia]], where she works as a firefighter alongside her husband. She is also the mother of a two-year-old boy and a newborn girl.<ref>http://www.myspace.com/57109479</ref> One can hope that she is able to sleep easy without Chris's figure haunting her dreams.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.
Image:0577-KellieWSchuSweater.jpg|For her 18 birthday, Chris made her...a [[Sonichu]] sweater (though it's possible that it's actually an [[Jimmy Hill|import]]).
Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|Chris with Kellie. Make note of the fanny pack, and the fact that he's licking his lips.
Image:049-Songs4Kellie.jpg|Nothing says "I love you" like a mix tape.
Image:0562-KellieAndesAllAround.jpg|Kellie sends a firm message to Chris by hooping a [[niggo]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Niggos

2010-08-04T15:20:03Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107670 by PhilDRich (talk)

{{Quote|Sit, Spin and Shut the Fuck Up, NIGGER!!! And I WILL call you That RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!|Chris, [[March 2010]]}}

[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris doesn't trust them [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|new niggos over there]].]]

[[Chris]] demonstrates [[Chris and race|many instances of intolerance and racism]], both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: his father, his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. '''Black people''', in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia.

==Origin of the word "niggos"==
{{protip|Chris only ever used the word "niggos" once. He has used the word "nigger" more than once, though.}}

'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|3 March 2009 chat]] where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying ''"[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers."'' Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying "niggos" instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done (you know, refused to say the N-word, said "N-word" or "blacks" or "African Americans" or some similar term, bleep himself out, or just not be a retard and end the conversation) he chose to coin a retarded ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal. (It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. BlueSpike pointed out Chris's faggotry, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|"Don't trust them new niggers over there"]] on his own will, which he had done more than once before.<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary|Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5#Summary|BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> So much for respecting the minorities.)

As of now, Chris never again used the word "niggo", and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. However, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

In a video posted on his YouTube Channel on 17 [[March 2010]], Chris finally dropped the [[100 2151.MOV|N-bomb]], making him an official [[Chris and race|racist]]. The [[Surfshack Tito Emails|Surfshack Tito e-mails]], released shortly afterward, featured further use of the slur, suggesting that Chris has entirely gotten over the resistance he showed in his conversation with BlueSpike. His use of the slur led directly to the vandalization of the [[CWCipedia]] by opening it up to public editing. Chris being Chris, he failed to connect the two events.

=="[[Evan|No Darkies]]"==

{{protip|Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". However, he has said "nigger".}}

[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.<ref>http://cogsdev.org/w/images/4/47/Chrisreply1evan.png</ref>]]

Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]</ref> Chris does not only tell this to trolls, however, he has told black [[boyfriend-free girls]] who are interested in him in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion". To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's psychiatric examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a BFG, much to his chagrin. This is essentially accurate - for example, on Chris's profile at [[The Hook Cafe]] he say that "smokers, [[obesity|overweights]], blacks and [[lies|liars]] need not apply."

Some may argue, if excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Quite possibly, it could be rather considered an act of racism and discrimination against ''white'' women, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's possible victims of stalking and harassment. Chris also stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

The stated reason for Chris' disinterest in black women was that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] was supposed to be white, which means her mother must be white as well. However, a hole was punched in this defense when Chris's dating site profiles made it clear that all he wanted was sex, but he still excluded black women.

==Niggos in Chris's life==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]

There were some 12-15 year old black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The official reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these kids.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

==Niggos in the Comic==
In the [[Sonichu Comic|Sonichu Comics]] most black characters are villains who try to thwart Chris and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|his hedgehogs]] at every turn. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race related jokes.

===[[B-Manajerk]]===
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black – the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

===[[Barack Obama]]===
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris believed as being a real rumor, approved of, and then illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein". Chris later removed the joke after Obama won the election but he probably only did that because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

===[[Black Sonichu]]/Blachu===
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain who later switched sides because he's a recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite (stereo)typical. He was brought to the CWCverse against his will, and [[Reldnahc]] (a white boy) quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Black then proceeds to steal a pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a precious stone ([[Legendary Master Sunstone]]). Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while not being able to figure how to defend properly. Before his name change several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist (including [[Wild|Wild's]] "I was following this black guy on a board..." comment). To Chris's credit, Blake becomes a positive character later, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Still, the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty.

===[[CADD Chef]]===
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Meniru gave Chris a F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in Cwcville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]] the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Kene Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the only black cartoon character he was familiar with, even though that character had no other similarity to Mr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

===[[Silvana]]===
A '''villain''', psychic Rosechu who was trained by [[Count Graduon]] on [[Moon|the moon]]. Graduon also gave her a [[pickle|dick]]. In [[Sonichu 8]], she raped and poisoned [[Blake]] while disguised as Bubbles, and planned to do the same to [[Bubbles]] while disguised as Blake. In [[Sonichu 10]], however, [[Magi-Chan]] [[Chris and writing#Spoilers|spoiled]] that Silvana would lose her dick and fall in love with him. The [[CWCipedia]] confirmed this.

===Minor(ity) characters===
*[[Florance Fisher]] (a girl whose sole purpose in the comic is to be rejected by Reginald)
*[[Jerkhief]] (A... pretty bad-ass Jerkop? Apparently not every black person has to be a racist caricature)
*[[Inos]] (a homeless, intoxicated, diseased, drug-pushing, expectorating Jamaican with filthy dreadlocks)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (a police officer who talks entirely in stereotypical "Black slang")

==See also==
* [[Chris and race]]
* [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:People]]

Niggos

2010-08-04T15:18:17Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107668 by PhilDRich (talk)

Niggos

2010-08-04T15:15:50Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107665 by PhilDRich (talk) Dear God, it never ends.

Niggos

2010-08-04T15:14:27Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107663 by PhilDRich (talk)

Niggos

2010-08-04T15:12:52Z

Fenric:

Kellie Andes

2010-08-04T15:11:31Z

Fenric: Undo revision 107658 by PhilDRich (talk)

[[Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes (Circa 2000).]]
[[File:Kellie Andes 2010.jpg|thumb|right|Kellie Andes Today.]]
{{quote|I REALLY missed out on that when I could have had the chance to take it.|Chris, totally deluded<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref>}}

'''Kellie Lyn Andes''' (married name: Kellie Lyn Andes Stowel) was [[Chris]]'s crush in [[Manchester High School|high school]] that he met in sophomore year. They lost contact in mid-[[2001]].<ref>[[:Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|DVD, note 5]]</ref> Today, Chris thinks he had a chance with her but blew it due to [[naïve|naïveté]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> For whatever reason, Chris now considers her to be his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|High School Sweetheart]], despite the fact that the term is usually reserved for people that are dating, and not for retarded man-children and the patient women that tolerate them.

Kellie is living proof of how sad Chris's life really is. In a sad, vain attempt to remind himself of how his life used to be, Chris has remained largely unchanged since high school (when he had the most female friends he'll ever have), while Kellie has actually moved on and gotten herself a job, husband and two children.

==In the comic==
[[Image:Kellie Andes.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Kellie, upon discovering Chris's [[nudes]].]]

Kellie appears in the last page of [[Episode 15]] of the [[comic]] as someone who discovers Chris's [[nudes]]. In [[Episode 17]], [[Rosechu]] mentions Kellie as the one who informed her about [[4-cent_garbage]]. In reality, Chris admits that he only gave Kellie the honor of discovering the ED page in the comic.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P4.htm Sonichu 8, page 4.] Chris in an [[Blanca E-mails#Chris describes Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|email to Blanca]]</ref> It's highly unlikely she did in real life.

Some argue that she is also the inspiration for [[Kel|Kel's]] name. In [[Sonichu 10]] Kel is actually referred to as "Kellie"; while it's still possible they're not meant to be the same person (especially considering the appearance of "real" Kellie in episode 15), the spelling at least reinforces the idea that Kel is meant to be some version of Kellie. The fact that Kel is in love with [[Reldnahc]] (who is essentially a Freudian version of Chris) shows some more of his inability to get over women.

==Kellie on Chris==

In [[User:Delabonte/Kellie|recent correspondence]] Kellie confirmed that Chris is definitely not her type.

{{quote|I never liked Christian in that way. Christian is def. not my type nor has he ever been.|Kellie, laying it down}}

Considering she married a handsome straight guy who has good social skills, a deep voice, a muscular physique, and a job where he saves lives instead of mooching off welfare... then she isn't kidding. He also happens to be a [[niggo]], but that has nothing to do with it.

==Currently==

Kellie is currently living as '''Kellie Andes Stowell''' in Richmond, [[Virginia]], where she works as a firefighter alongside her husband. She is also the mother of a two-year-old boy and a newborn girl.<ref>http://www.myspace.com/57109479</ref> One can hope that she is able to sleep easy without Chris's figure haunting her dreams.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0312-KellieAndes97.jpg|Kellie, 1997.
Image:0313-KellieAndes98.jpg|Kellie, 1998.
Image:0314-KellieAndes99.jpg|Kellie, 1999
Image:0315-KellieAndesY2K.jpg|Kellie, 2000.
Image:0577-KellieWSchuSweater.jpg|For her 18 birthday, Chris made her...a [[Sonichu]] sweater (though it's possible that it's actually an [[Jimmy Hill|import]]).
Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|Chris with Kellie. Make note of the fanny pack, and the fact that he's licking his lips.
Image:049-Songs4Kellie.jpg|Nothing says "I love you" like a mix tape.
Image:0562-KellieAndesAllAround.jpg|Kellie sends a firm message to Chris by hooping a [[niggo]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

The Sonichu Chronicles

2010-07-27T20:32:39Z

Fenric: /* Slide #9 */

[[Image:SonichuChronicles.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Intro to The Sonichu Chronicles. Hey, at least he didn't make his own background.]]

'''''The Sonichu Chronicles''''' is a PowerPoint presentation put together in [[January 2009]] by [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and submitted to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] as a proposal for the creation of a series of [[Sonichu]]-related video games. It mostly describes the history and successes of the Sonichu franchise and describes absolutely nothing about the games beyond their possible titles.

==Text of the slides==
The text from the slides is presented here exactly as it is in the slideshow, save for added wikilinks. All the following spelling errors belong to Chris.

===Sonichu's Beginings===
*What started as an idea for a [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD Cover]] for a Computer Graphics Project, eventually would grow and grow and grow into his own individual Character with Stories and more friends and enemies along the way.
*On the fateful day on [[2000#March|March 17, 2000]], I wanted to feature on my Favorite Hits CD Cover life-long hero, [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], and cute newer character, Pikachu, but Copyrighted Characters were prohibited from the project.
*So, in my mind, I pondered and pondered when it hit me visually; Sonic and Pikachu combined.
*As for his name, while rumored to be a combination of “Sonic” and “Pikachu”, that was NOT the case; I originally played the name from Sonic’s Japanese name, “Soniku”.
*The Very First thing I drew up of Sonichu, BEFORE the CD Cover, was a Private, Never-Played homemade Pokemon Trading Card on that Very Same Day. I made a bunch of homemade cards, ONLY FOR my own Personal Fun.
*And over the years since 2000 to today, he grew better with my own Hand-Drawing Style.
*Granted it IS a [[Parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog, the Origin Story of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] started from the attack of Chaos, from “Sonic Adventure” (Sega Dreamcast/Nintendo Gamecube), but the Concept of this OUTSIDE EVOLUTION is one I’ve thought up, and decided to go for it as the Origin Story.
*And when you think about it, it is an Untold Chapter of one story, so it is additional, yet not a major plot change.

===Enter Rosechu; Sonichu’s Sweetheart===
*Before my First Hand-Drawn Page of the #0 Comic Book on [[2004#November|November 24, 2004]], I continued to create more Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon for the world of Sonichu. Less than one year after Sonichu, I drew up Rosechu.
*Yet another parody in comparison to [[Amy Rose]], Rosechu evolved from a Female Raichu that fateful day.
*MAJOR Differences between Amy and Rosie; Amy never had spikes on her back, the clothes are Different; Rosie’s Headband is White, not Red, and Rosechu has a modern girl kinda attitude, and lucky for her, Sonichu RARELY runs away from her charms. :) And, of course, she has her Electric-Type Attacks to boot.
*Rosechu is a gal who won’t take any abuse from a foe lying down; she is a Warrior at Heart, standing up for [[Women's_Rights| Women’s Rights]].

===Evolutions for the Original Sonichu and Rosechu.===
*For the idea I had for a possible Pokemon Game Title, Pokemon, Lightning Version (Featuring Sonichu. I have the idea for the story beginning in my head), I have created Babies for ALL the Sonichus and Rosechus (minus Blake) and Evolutions (For Original Sonichu and Rosechu ONLY).

''(What follows the above are some drawings of [[Sonee]], [[Rosee]], [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Metonic]], and [[Vamprosa]]. Also shown is the evolutionary line of Sonichu and Rosechu.)''

===Black Sonichu, AKA Blake===
*Blake is easily explainable as the Clone of Sonichu’s DNA, with an accidental dose of Cherry Cola (to change the pigment from yellow and brown to black and red).
*Under the “Poke Ball” of Naitsirhc, Adopted son of Giovanni, Team Rocket Leader, [[Blake]] followed the commands of his “Creators”, until Naitsirhc would later transform into [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]; The Complete [[Homos|Opposite]] Twin of Christian Weston Chandler.
*After having fled from Team Rocket’s Control, Blake sought refuge and shelter with his Bubbly Sweetheart, Bubbles Rosechu. Which proves the fact that there is likely more than meets the eye in some who appear to be a bad guy at first.

===The Chaotic Combo===
*And after Black Sonichu’s Creation, I continued with 5 more Electric-Hedgehogs that came from the Chaos Emeralds’ Power from Sonichu’s Fateful Origin.
*[[Wild Sonichu]] – Grass/Electric Type -Chlorophyll
*[[Bubbles Rosechu]] – Water/Electric Type -Volt Asorb
*[[Angelica Rosechu]] – Flying/Electric Type -Serene Grace
*[[Punchy Sonichu]] – Fighting/Electric Type -Limber
*[[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] – Psychic/Electric Type -Synchronize

===Slide #8===
And with every thought that randomly popped up in my imagination, I was very likely to create a new character, or even given one from a fan among my Growing to Currently MASSIVE Fanbase.

''(This slide contains a veritable assload of drawings, including but not limited to drawings of [[Simonla]], [[Jiggliami]], [[Bionic]], [[Megagi La Skunk]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[jerkop]]s, [[Magi-Chan]], [[Patti-Chan]], and [[Zapina]].)''

===Slide #9===
In any case, it all happened IN and AROUND the City of [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]]; A Grand Community of men, women and children living at peace day by day, and hard at work. A Plus for the City is that it is [[Tobacky|SMOKE-FREE]] and [[Alcohol|NON_ALCOHOLIC]]. At one end of the city is the [[Cwcville Shopping Center]], featuring many favorited stores, as well as My [[CWCville Mayoral Office|Mayoral Office]] above the Front Main Enterance. Followed by the Residential Area of Houses and a few Playgrounds, then the Metropolis where the Major Business go to work in the tall skyscrapers. It also has a beach, leading to the ocean, a big forest and mountainous regions with a dormant volcano or two.

''(This slide has another assload of drawings - they show a mountain, a mall, a house, and a lot of the Sonichu cast.)''

===Christian Weston Chandler – My role in the Comics===
Like most artists, I let myself get into my work. Story-Wise, while IN REAL LIFE, I’ve been in my Search for a woman to become my True [[Sweetheart From the Ground-Up]], starting with simple friendship, I am also the Mayor of Cwcville; I deal with my Mayoral duties over Wi-Fi with my Nintendo DS.

I came up the name of Cwcville LONG AGO starting from my City I built and grew bigger over the years of Lego Bricks, Pieces and People. I also later came up with the Radio Station, [[KCWC|K.C.W.C.]] when I recorded a couple of Radio Shows for fun onto audio cassette tapes.

In Real Life, I also created a number of Websites, starting with my PokeSite. I had Taken TWO HTML classes, so I know the Raw on Notepad, as well as the Netscape Composer HTML Processor.

After creating Sonichu, I featured him on The PokeSite, then I later decided to Make the Sonichu Site as a Spin-Off from The PokeSite.

Then eventually, the Sonichu & Rosechu [[True and Loyal Fanbase|Fanbase]] GREW, and with the True, Good Fans, came the Jealous, Dark Trolls/Internet Bullies. I was hacked a number of times Before. And unfortunately, the Sonichu Site Is temporarily down, but as soon as I get Some more money, I’m going to open up A NEW account with either Tripod, or a Different Website-Hosting site, with a new E-mail address I have kept secret from most anyone; I’ve informed my family.

===Transformation! Chris Chan Sonichu!===

*Story-wise, as described in my “[[Anchuant Prophecy]]”, I would take pen in hand, create an electric hedgehog, then take the Sonichu Medallion to enclose the Darkest Evil.
*Real-Life, I have crafted the Original [[Medallion of Fail|Sonichu Medallion]] from Crayola Model Magic Clay, Acrylic Paints, Keyrings, Super-Glue and Necklace, and it does not grant me any powers.
*In the Comic with my Medal, I can perform any single attack of any of my Electric-Hegehog Pokemon at will.
*And mainly, Sailor Moon-Style, I transform into…
*Chris Chan Sonichu!
**Soldier of Love and [[Honesty]]
*In this form, I can execute my own personal selection of attacks as a Normal/Electric Type with Keen Eye Ability, including Mach Punch, Thunderbolt, Hyper Beam.
*As well as in Both Human and Sonichu form, I am the only being who can execute the Special Attack that inflicts Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune, with some damage, to the Foe; [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Shin-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha!]]
*This ''(referring to the cover of Sonichu #10 drawn by [[PandaHalo]])'' is a Fantastic rendition of Chris Chan Sonichu from my Sweetheart and Partner, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie.

===And Now, the Gaming Proposition.===

*Let me preface this subject with a spot of history between me and Nintendo.
*[[Niggos|I HAD A DREAM!]] Around June, 1997, I had a dream of Sonic the Hedgehog on Game Boy (Original). I wrote a letter to N.O.A. suggesting to work with SEGA on a Game Boy Sonic title; basically said I had rocks in my head. YET now look in 2001; Sonic Advance on GAME BOY Advance. I pretty much foretold that outcome.
*Then in Volume 179, [[2004#May|May, 2004]] issue of Nintendo Power Magazine, which I had been a Long-Time Subscriber; the November Before, I had videotaped a Voiced-Over Documentary of my “Sonichu” in Cwcville in [[Animal Crossing]] on Nintendo Gamecube. I got full Credit on that documentary, “Special Thanks to Christian from Virginia for his Sonichu Documentary”.
*Soon after, I was featured in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]’s Newsletter, “The Forum” for being featured in Nintendo Power for my Sonichu and Cwcville.
*Also, I had later submitted a letter with high regards to the DS game, Sprung, in reference to a momentary progress at the time.
*Now, we can talk a bit about my current ideas for Sonichu’s start in the Video Game World. Should we get “Ten Feet Off the Ground” on the whole thing, you may use this Cover for the following N.P. Issue that would soon follow.

===My Game Title Ideas===

*Before or during the drawing of the #0 Comic Book, I came up with a few starter-type ideas for Video Games around Sonichu and Rosechu.
*Firstly, as featured on the first 8 Previously Uploaded Comic Books, I came up with the Sonichu’s Adventure on Nintendo Gamecube (Subject for Upgrade to Wii, and maybe go multi-console). Miyamoto San has a copy of my introductory details for Sonichu’s Adventure.
*Then along came a Game Boy Advance Version of Sonichu’s Adventure, and ONLY ON GBA, Pokemon Lightning Version (Both GBA titles subject to upgrade to Nintendo DS).
*And then much later, [[Christian Weston Chandler’s Adult Chronicles]], which I would definitely want to go Multi-Console (and NEVER on [[Hex Bawx|XBox]]). This one would basically be me going through my ordeals, with Sonichu, Rosechu and the rest of the Electric-Hedgehogs tagging along (like in Shadow the Hedgehog). I would be able to transform into Chris Chan Sonichu in this game.

===Off to a Zappingly Great Start.===
As of January 18, 2009, Takashi Tezuka took it upon himself, and with a most Appreciated Inquiry for my Approval, as the Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and the World of Cwcville, to create a Sonichu and a Rosechu Villager for Animal Crossing City Folk (Now, we’ll be likely to be Zippin’ along “Sonichu Crossing”; Mind the Traffic).

As a fan of Animal Crossing since the Gamecube title (could have released a US version of the Nintendo 64 title, as well as the Animal Crossing Movie).

I often like to quote Blathers after going on and on with the expression, “But I digress”, so thank you all for teaching me that expression.

===Sonichu, Rosechu and Cwcville; Nintendo will Be PROFITTING BIG from my Well-Grown Fanbase!===
*I personally give good word of mouth of Nintendo Systems and Games, INCLUDED in references in my Comic Book Series.
*Sonichu and Rosechu on Animal Crossing City Folk will Greatly Raise Sales of Wii Consoles, Animal Crossing City Folk game discs and the WiiSpeak too!
*Also, with me starring in the games as the voices of Both Myself and the Original Sonichu, and my Sweetheart, Sarah, as Rosechu, that will be three LESS voice actors to hire.
*With this Great Start in Profits from the Electric-Hedgehogs that started humbly from the mind of a well-rounded, church-going, high-functioning autistic-recovered Individual, Nintendo will see Good Profits in the time frame of the games’ releases.
*[[Fail|Sonichu! GO!]]

===Slide #17===
Thank you very much for your time, and I look forward to working with each of you all in Person very soon on the Sonichu Alpha Project.

''(Dox and a photo of a vacant-looking Chris wearing his [[medallion]].)''

==Notes==
[[Image:002-CWCsSonichuBook.jpg|thumb|150px|Good thing they won't have to worry about designing their own artwork...]]

* Chris explains in the presentation that [[lie|Sonichu's name is not a portmanteau word comprised of "Sonic" and "Pikachu,"]] but rather a variation of Sonic's Japanese name, "Sonikku za Hejjihoggu".

* He characterizes Sonichu as a [[parody]] of Sonic, and proceeds to use the word "parody" as if it means "characteristic which makes one thing not like another thing".

* In a preemptive deflection of any criticism, he lists all the ways in which Rosechu is totally different from [[Amy Rose]]. There are only about seven. Two of them are just that they wear different clothes.

* Perhaps for the first time, Chris lays out the evolution of the Sonichu and Rosechu species, explaining that Sonichu can evolve into [[Metonic]] and Rosechu can evolve into [[Vamprosa]]. Vamprosa bears a strong resemblance to Rosechu during her rampage against [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]].

* Chris cites [[Blake]] as an indication that some bad guys are more than they appear, indicating that other villains may reform.

* In a collage of images purporting to be characters he created, Chris includes [[Megagi]], [[Simonla]], and [[Jiggliami]], who were created by other people. He also includes [[Bagget]] and [[Blanca]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who ''are'' other people.

* [[CWCville]], Virginia, is situated near a forest, a beach, mountains, and a volcano.

* In [[2009]], Chris is still hanging his hat on the two HTML classes he took years ago, which taught him how to use Netscape Composer.

* Chris explains how his Sonichu [[medallion]] gives him super powers in the comics. He then explains that the medallion he wears in real life gives him no super powers.

* He includes in the PowerPoint a hand-drawn mockup of a Nintendo Power cover, and tells Nintendo that they "may" use it for the issue that eventually covers the release of the game.

* Since Chris has wanted his own video game for over a decade, he explains that the games he thought up were all intended for GameCube and Game Boy Advance; he grants Nintendo permission to upgrade these ideas to their current consoles. He insists upon allowing [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]] to be multi-platform so it can be available on the PlayStation 2 and PlayStation 3. It should be noted that this is the only slide of the presentation that actually discusses about producing video games, rather than discussing Christian.

* Chris argues that Nintendo will save money on voice acting, since he would portray both himself and Sonichu while [[PandaHalo]] would play Rosechu. No word on negotiations to secure the [[new narrator]] as Mary Lee Walsh.

* He gives his PlayStation Network ID number in the presentation, just in case the Senior Managing Director of Nintendo ever feels like playing Resistance: Fall of Man with Chris.

==Reaction from Nintendo==

Upon receiving the Sonichu Chronicles, Reggie Fils-Aimé was outraged that one of the first images in the presentation showed an upskirt view of Rosechu, allowing the viewer to see her cameltoe. Fils-Aimé immediately canceled the project, noting that Nintendo is in the business of producing all-ages software. Christian blew this issue out of proportion somehow concluding that Fils-Aimé was objecting to nudity and heterosexual romance, and from there deciding that Fils-Aimé is a chain-smoking, alcoholic homosexual prude.

==See also==
*[[Sonichu Powerpoint]]
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]
*[[Sonichu Advance]]

==External links==

*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ttzmaizwfix Download The Sonichu Chronicles ]

{{Sonichu Games}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Sonichu Chronicles}}
[[Category: Historical Documents]]

User:Fenric

2010-07-23T23:20:20Z

Fenric:

Mumble 7

2010-07-23T02:08:18Z

Fenric: /* 15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength */

'''Mumble 7''' is the seventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 13th February 2009. Appears to be the genesis for the videos [[fail|proving]] Chris' [[I AM STRONG|strength]] and [[Obesity|fighting]] [[Challenge For Clyde|skill]], though these would not materialize for several months.

==Summary==

* A fan talks to Chris about putting naked posters of girls and pictures of men up in his room up to find out if his friend was a [[homo]] as Chris suggested. He tells Chris that his girlfriend dumped him over the posters and his friend ignored all of them. Chris sees nothing wrong with his advice until Julie tells him that she wouldn't like that. Chris recommends sending an anonymous letter explaining the situation and utterly fails to apologize or show concern.
* Fans point out that Chris shouldn't have to show and prove that he is straight.
* Chris cuts a fan off to let Julie ask a question involving [[pedofork|shota]].
* Fans ask Chris to turn his radio down.
* Chris uses Wal-Mart printer paper & RSVP ballpoint pen to draw, and a 50-pack of Crayola markers to color. Refuses to use color pencils or Photoshop to color, saying he prefers the markers.
* Chris talks about Omicron's redone version of [[Sonichu]], accusing him of plagiarism. Says that the difference between what Omicron is doing and what he is doing is that Sonichu is his. Agrees to let Omicron continue if he credits Chris with the copyright.
* '''Julie is convincing Chris to make videos proving to Clyde how strong he is.''' Chris feels that the [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|dildo breaking video]] proved this. Fans say that Chris's dildo comes apart naturally for cleaning.
* '''A fan recommends making a video showing off his fighting moves to scare Clyde.'''
* Chris is asked why he would use a dildo in proving that he is straight. Chris says that he is straight for crushing it, fans call him a [[homo]] for keeping it.
* Chris [[lie|denies]] [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|using the dildo]], and claims that it's now broken. Fan says it could easily be reassembled. Chris is adamant that it was glued and that it took a lot of strength to pull it apart.
* When asked by Julie, '''Chris admits using super-shears from Cutco to break the dildo glue, claiming to use a lot of strength in the process'''.
* Fans discuss [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]. Chris insists that it was drawn in protest of [[ED]]. He says it was anonymous, as [[fail|most women have long brown hair and her eyes were censored]].
* Insists that [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:AngelicainGod%27sEyes.JPG the Rule 34 of Angelica Rosechu] is masturbating and enjoying it, and is using her hand to do it.
* Chris thinks Billy Mays is on Home Improvement.
* Chris isn't doing anything on Valentine's Day, as Julie is not there yet.
* Chris discusses the the No-Redheads policy in his [[Love Quest]]. Says that redheads don't attract him unless they are not natural redheads. No piercings or tattoos allowed.
* Chris is OK with blue hair.
* Does a terrible Marge Simpson impersonation.
* Chris impersonates Comic Book Guy and Donald Duck.
* A fan presents the possibility that AIDS was sent by God to kill the [[homos]].
* [[Chris and Religion|Premarital sex being forbidden in Christianity]] is discussed. Chris fumbles for an explanation.
* '''A fan pretending to be black says he believes the government made AIDS to get rid of black people. Chris says that that's the kind of thing a black guy would say'''.
* Premarital sex comes up again. Chris compares it to using porn to practice and learn skills for later.
* The fake black fan calls Chris on his comment from earlier about black guys and AIDS. He makes the excuse that someone else said it first.
* Questions on Sonichu start. Sonichu doesn't wear clothes because it's a comic. Chris isn't sure how [[Blake]] sounds. He might sound black, he might sound like Shadow the Hedgehog.
* The fake black fan asks why the bad guy has to be black, also mentioning [[Silvana]]. Chris says that he doesn't have to be.
* Chris gets annoyed about the pronunciation of [[Rosechu]] as popularized by the Old Narrator of the [[Audiobooks]].
* '''Chris doesn't disagree that the [[Audiobooks]] made Sonichu more popular that he ever did'''.
* He doesn't mind [[Fan:Index|fan-fics]] that don't portray Sonichu in a bad light.
* The audio goes low in the main chat and a fan has a private, unrelated conversation for a few minutes.
* Audio comes back as Chris is admitting that the [[B-Manajerk]] was black in real life.
* Chris doesn't watch the news, so doesn't have an opinion on [[Barack Obama|Obama]]. He voted for him because he saw a documentary where he saw more of himself in Obama, namely that he was an outcast at one point.
* A fan says that you should vote based on politics, not personality. Chris says that he is a moderate.
* Chris doesn't know what the financial bailout is. He says that he drew the [[Sonichu 8#The Elevator Gags|racist picture]] of Obama based on his father's joke, before he saw the documentaries that made him vote.
* Chris will not agree or disagree with interracial dating/marriage. He would want a white woman, but he would be [[gal pals|friends]] with others.
* He'd marry an Asian.
* It's not yet known if Silvana will be a good guy or if she will lose her [[pickle|dick]].
* '''Chris doesn't know what he wanted to be when he was younger, he's just making it up as he goes along'''.
* '''Chris is keeping the name changes in the comics for legal reasons'''.
* A fan suggests Slaweel cursing Rosechu to have a dick. Chris gets upset before saying that he'll think about it. The fans think it's a great idea. One considers a talking penis for Rosechu. Chris says it's a stupid idea.
* Another fan asks about Chris being sacked from Wendy's. He denies scaring the child with his Donald Duck impersonation, saying that he didn't make him cry.
* Chris might release his DVD one day.
* A fan says that Chris has influenced underground rappers such as Immortal Technique, who has sampled him.
* Chris takes requests. Impersonates MC Hammer, Dr Nick Riviera, Peter from [[Family Guy]], Mario and Sonic, butchering them all and tainting our childhood memories.
* More Sonichu questions. '''Chris won't upload [[Zapina]] [[Rule 34]] because she is underage and Chris is worried about legal ramifications'''. When he is reassured that this would be legal, he says he would consider it. He will also consider Sonichu-Rosechu anal sex. Rosechu would not clean the [[pickle]] with her mouth, she would clean it off with a washcloth. He would not sell the the washcloth on EBay.
* Chris calls a stop to the potty humor displayed throughout the Sonichu questions.
* '''Chris denies that [[Yawning Squirtle]] is a character'''.
* Fans ask for a joke. He recites a dreadful rhyme about Videogame consoles. He then tells his awful [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]].
* Fans start to tell racist jokes about [[niggos|black people]] and Mexicans. Chris calls for a stop to this.
* A fan says that his friend [[mass debating|masturbated]] to the [[rule 34|adult section of Sonichu]] and is now worried that his friend is a [[homo]], as they were drawn by a man. '''Chris says that this is what he intended it for''', and they are drawings of women, so his friend is straight. He doesn't masturbate to his own drawings.
* Chris reassures a fan that [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] in the same room as another man isn't gay as long as both men are thinking of women, but he would not do this.
* Chris offers no comment as to what constitutes adultery.
* Chris says that he is patriotic. He manages to mangle the three lines of the National Anthem that he knows. He then tells a 'patriotic' joke that is insensitive to Mexicans. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|The fans call him on his "no more racist jokes" statement from earlier]].
* Chris does a poor impersonation of Mr T.
* Chris says that if you are married, sleeping with someone else isn't cheating if you have consent from your spouse.
* Chris gives more advice on homos and recommends Axe body spray for attracting girls.
* Chris has not met any celebrities, only local DJs.
* Does impersonations of Homer Simpson and Bender. The two sound identical.
* Chris gives dating advice: Stay calm, polite, friendly and don't let your nerves get the best of you. Say "Hello, how are you" and talk about yourself. '''[[Barbara|His mom]] told him that standing around with a sign makes him look retarded. A female fan cracks up laughing and can't stop'''.
* "Those who can't, teach"
* Chris says he has never even been on a date. Rejects dating suggestions from fans.
* '''Chris was close with Sarah "[[PandaHalo]]" McKenzie, but hasn't heard from her in over two weeks. He heard about the fires and doesn't know if she's still alive. When a fan adds that 108 people were killed in the fires, Chris responds to the entire ordeal with [[Chris and death|"It's OK though, at least I have a good woman who's willing to be by my side at this point"]]'''.
* When pushed, he says he feels remorse for the the victims of the fires and is concerned that [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda]] is dead.
* He asserts that he didn't abandon Sarah for [[Julie]].
* '''A fan says that if [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] isn't alive, Chris should take solace that her perfectly barbecued remains fed the survivors. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|SHUT UP!!!]]'''
* Chris says that he cares about Sarah and Julie equally and wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. A fan asks what he will do to the survivors who ate Sarah. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|"SHUT UP!!!"]] and demands that he be booted.
* Fans reassure Chris that Sarah is probably OK.
* Chris does abominable impersonations of Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks and Hank Hill. '''He sings "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There"'''. He also impersonates Meowth and sings the Team Rocket song.
* [[Clyde]] enters. Chris refuses to answer questions and leaves.

==Transcript==
===Chris proves he is straight===
'''Guy:''' Chris! 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all! ''[echoes]'' 
'''Guy:''' I'll be damned. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all. 
'''Fan:''' Uh, Chris-[gets cut off by another guy] 
'''Chris:''' Uh you know, can't com- it's uh, can't complain. 
'''Other Guy:''' How's construction of the site? 
'''Fan:''' it is so Chris 
'''Chris:''' Yeah? 
'''Fan:''' Well I...I need to ask you something. 
'''Chris:''' Yup? 
'''Fan:''' Uh... I put those posters, of the... Playboy and everything in my room, and uh, one of my girlfriends saw it, and she got mad at me for looking at other w-... other girls, and she broke up with me. 
'''Chris:''' Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. It could- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, she called me a pervert. I-I don't understand this. 
'''Chris:''' Did you... did you ex- did you try to explain to her about situation between you and that guy? 
'''Fan:''' I... I did, and I don't think she understood. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... well, you should try, you should, uh, s-... try, uh, you should try wr-, you should tr-, uh, do you know her email address? 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' So, uh- 
'''Fan:''' A-also, wait... also, uh, the friend, I was talking about, he, uh, lives with us, and [typing noises] he, uh, he went into my room, and didn't even notice the posters. He just s-sat in the middle, and he didn't s...see any uh, part of the room. 
'''Chris:''' Huh. Hmm. 
'''Fan:''' So, uh... so, yeah, I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend broke up with me, called me a pervert, said that I shouldn't be looking at other girls, I mean... I don't know what to do now. 
'''Chris:''' Well listen, uh, answer my question, do you have her email address? 
'''Fan:''' Umm... yeah, but she won't... she won't answer me anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Hm... ok, hmm. Here's what you can do, uh... Do you know your girlfriend's... any of your girlfriend's gal-pals? 
'''Fan:''' No. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm... well, you should try to.. like wr- you should write out... hmm... hmm... here's an idea. S- Write a letter to her and send it via smail mai-, via snail mail, but don't write the return address. On it. 
'''Fan:''' What should I write? 
'''Chris:''' Just like, you know, like, they, you know, this is... you know, this is... you, uh, you put your name there, and you, it's, and then you would basically explain the situation between you and that guy, and that's why you had the posters up, well that's why you put the posters up. 
'''Fan:''' I don't understand what was the point of the posters in the first place? 
'''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' it's... ''[sigh]'' if he looks at... if he, if he is very interested, if he is, if he was straight, he would uh, look at the women. Very much. 
'''Fan:''' But he didn't even notice them. He didn't notice any of the posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, I guess he is a homo. 
'''Fan:''' W...well, um, he wasn't looking at anything, not even the guy posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Hmm... He's not blind, surely. 
'''Fan:''' So, like, what is he, is he like, uh...I don't know. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either, man. But, you know at the moment I would suggest you, uh, write t- write the letter to your girlfriend, send the mail, don't write your return address on the envelope, and, uh, mail it to her. 
'''Fan:''' Also my mom saw the posters and she got offended, she's like really really just in- she said that uh, lust is a sin or some shit. Oh, like she said, she's like all against the, you know, Playboy in my room. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, apparently your mom hasn't been [beeps] didn't have that open minded that time. So, give her time to recover, she'll uh, she might, she might open up. 
'''Fan:'''Yeah, I don't think that was a good idea though, I mean, why did you suggest it? 
'''Chris:''' I was trying to see if he, I was trying to s-help you figure out if your uh, if your friend was a homo or not. 
'''Fan:''' I know, but, uh, do you have Playboy posters in your room? 
'''Chris:''' [unclear] I'm very forward. 
'''Chris:''' I have uh, poster of some, of uh, I have a poster in my room of uh, some uh, naked girls I got from adamandeve.com as a bonus. 
'''Fan:''' Then, nobody says anything about it? 
'''Chris:''' ''[clears throat]'' Well, I didn't really have too many oppor-, too many people in my room. So, it's kind of like in a hard to notice place. 
'''Fan:''' Um, wondering, um, If you showed anyone, wouldn't they be offended? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe, maybe not, it just depends on their point of view. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I wouldn't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I hear you there. Uh, just to so just sound clear... Julie? 
'''Julie:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Julie, are you there? 
'''Julie:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Ok, uh, would you be offended if you saw such a poster in my room? 
'''Julie:''' ''[breaks up]'' 
'''Chris:''' Uh, What will, what was that? 
'''Julie''' Yes I would, kind of. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well that's no problem, I can take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, see that's what I'm talking about, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' That's why I asked Julie right now, because I respect her. So, because she said that she would, I will take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I've been thinking, um... 
'''Julie:''' Do you have... [unclear] Chris, I don't think you should look at other woman.[sic] In my opinion. 
'''Chris:''' I see, Julie. Well that's fine. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah.. 
'''Chris:''' I...I respect that. 
'''Fan:''' She might get jealous, I mean, that's what happened to my...my girlfriend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that's fine Julie, I respect you, I respect that. Just- 
'''Julie:''' Hey guys, do you have a question? If he's done? Uh- 
'''Fan:''' Oh, uh, one more thing, um, I've been thinking, uh, I don't really think you need, you know, posters and stuff like, to prove you're straight, I mean, if you're straight, that's all there is to it, am I right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' I think you're right. 
'''Fan:''' I...I mean, you shouldn't have to prove that you're straight. 
'''Julie:''' You're right. 
'''Other Guy:''' [line breaks temporarily] -You should not have to reassure us, though. You should just be knowing it, and nothing that anybody says, you get very, uh... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it's ve-ah-very-but you see, I have like, I have that [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] in my room, it's just, so that I can, uh, for in case I have any-for in case I have any random thoughts, on account really, to tempt me. 
''[unintelligible mix of chatter from most participants trying to get their word in]'' 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I mean, even if they're random thoughts, even if they're random thoughts, if you know you're ''positive'' about it, you shouldn't have to look at anything to make sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, usually. 
'''Guy:''' Okay. Uh, moving on from all this homosexuality, uh, I have one question, uh, -[gets cut off by Chris in the background]- ...never mind, [fat douchebag?] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, ah, let Julie ask a question, let Julie ask her question. 

===7:08 Julie asks about shotacon===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, I was watching you on the Internet yesterday and, what's a shotacon?[slightly cut off] 
'''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, uh-y, I'm sorry, you got cut off, what was that? 
'''Julie:''' What's a sho-[cuts off again]- 
'''Chris:''' ...What's a...''short''? 
'''Julie:''' Shot-[cuts off third time, pretty obvious she's saying ''shota'']- 
'''Fan:''' Dude, shota. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, shota. 
'''Chris:''' Ssshhhh...shota? 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, S-H-O-A-T-A [sic]. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, it's a word he found online. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, [baby?], yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I never heard of that word. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hmm. 
'''Chris:''' I dunno, if you want to look it up, you can probably find out on an online dictionary... 
''[pause, and a weary sigh from someone other than Chris]'' 
'''Chris:''' I'll-I'll take a look. Hang on. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I know some Japanese and I think I've heard that somewhere, like in a magazine or something. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, it's some of that Japanese shit. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Probably is. Three moments, I'll look it up. 
'''Julie:''' Okay! 
''[pause, Chris's radio is audible]'' 
'''Chris:''' ...Whoops, that was the wrong one. The wrong bookmark. 
'''Fan:''' S-H-O-T-A. 
'''Chris:''' I know, I just get the wrong bookmark for...place I wi-for like...dictionary-type website that I have. 
''[pause, Chris's keyboard taps are audible]'' 
'''Guy:''' Uhhh...Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, now that Julie's done with her question, I also had one. 
'''Fan:''' He has to find what that means first. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, ''I'm sorry''. 
'''Chris:''' Shit, ah shit, I've just found it on Wikipedia. It's, uh, it's a ma-it's a Japanese name. It's a name of a person. In Japan. 
'''Guy:''' Really. 
'''Chris:''' It's a Japanese name. I think it's- 
'''Fan:''' Oh no no, I think you're looking at the wrong thing, it's S- S-H-O-T-A-C-O-N. 
'''Chris:''' S-H- I mean- O-T-A-C-O-N? Shotacon? 
'''Fan:''' It's the same thing, just put C-O-N at the end. 
'''Guy:''' I've read it in a dictionary before, can't remember what it means... 
'''Chris:''' Oh, oh! Okay, here it is, uh..."shotacon, sometimes shortened to shota, is Japanese slang of the phrase 'Shotaro Complex'"...uh..."that describes the attraction to young boys or an individual with such an attraction". 
''[Disgusted reactions heard]'' 
'''Fan:''' Oh my god, what the fuck? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' There's lots of sick people. Y'all are gonna get ricked? 
'''Fan:''' Someone from 4 cent garbage came in and told us to look that up, I didn't--I didn't even want to. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' I guess he's a homo... 
'''Fan:''' Don't worry I banned him already. 
'''Girl:''' Um, Chris, Vivian wants to know if you can like, turn your radio down a bit, it's distracting. 
'''Guy:''' Yes, please turn it down. 
'''Chris:''' I thought that was quiet enough, here. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, no, the lady'll probably pick it up 
'''Girl:''' Alright cool. Merci. 

===10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies===

'''Another Fan:''' Okay, um, I have a question, um, I like to draw--interrupted by mumbling--I like to draw comics and such, I mean I want to start up a webcomic. What kind of materials do you use? 
'''Chris:''' Um, like, you mean for drawing? 
'''Another Fan:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Well mostly I just use like, uh, paper without lines, like, computer printer paper you can get in, like, Wal-Mart, for an inexpensive price in multiples. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay-- 
'''Chris:''' And then I use like an RES--RSVP-brand pen with the black ink. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh okay, is it like, um, a gel pen or a ballpoint pen or-- 
'''Chris:''' It's like a ballpoint, it's like a ballpoint pen. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Fan:''' What do you use to color? 
'''Chris:''' I use Crayola brand markers. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I would like to--I would--I would--I would recommend getting the Super Tip 50-pack which you can also find at the Wal-Mart. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. I--[interrupted by someone else on chat] 
'''Guy:''' That's basically-- 
'''Another Fan:''' At Wal-Mart I usually get the 24-color RoseArts. Those are--those do pretty good too. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhh, Vivian, just so you--just so you know, I'm using the microphone that came with Hey You, Pikachu for Nintendo Sisty-Four [sic]. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, yeah no, no offense, but uh, personally I prefer like, colored pencils and shit cause--[Chris mumbling is heard]--they're like easier to erase. Photoshop [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' If you want to use colored pencils that's fine, I'm not, uh, saying that you have to use Crayola markers-- 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' Why don't you use colored pencils? They're really good, you should try one on like, at least one page, just try one. One page with just colored pencils. 
'''Fan:''' But um, actually, you can--you can scan your drawings and then color--color them in like, Photoshop or something. [rest of chat murmurs in agreement] That looks really professional, and really good. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I prefer using the markers. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' It's just that I--I mean--I mean I've tried--I mean I've colored with colored pencils before, and I just feel best with using markers. 
'''Julie:''' I have a question, um, uh, the Hey You Pikachu microphone, how does that work on the, you're using that on your computer? Did you say? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's just, yeah, it's like you plug it into uh, into the basic microphone jack. 
'''Julie:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. 
'''Girl:''' Excuse me, I have a nice little Plantronics headset. 
'''Chris:''' Um-- 
'''Another Fan:''' Hey Chris can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, hang on a second, uh... uh, Omicron, that's uh, you're basically, uh, you're basically plagiarizing here. You're even using, uh, parts of my original drawings to, uh, make up your so called real ones and, you're just--you're just parroting--you're just plagiarizing-- 
'''Fan:''' That's dirty and illegal. 
[Unintelligible mumbling] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you said so yourself, you're being illegal. And plus, and plus I'm-- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, isn't combining Sonic with Pikachu the same thing? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, but, but but also, look at this, also I'm looking at this site here, it said, he's claiming the copyright for himself, but he's, but he's not. I mean that's like, but he's, he--he says 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' You need to ban him immediately. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, ban him immediately. 
'''Guy:''' Oh wait wait wait wait wait... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah maybe you should check--[interrupted by loud noise, probably Chris] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well he said that, he's saying that all of Sonichu material is copyrighted by him, when it's clearly not. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah but you use Sonic and Pikachu, and you copyrighted it-- 
'''Other Guy:''' He just offered to give you credit--[interrupted by noisy chatter] 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I put, I mean, yeah but, I mean, I'm talking about the--the Omnicron [sic] guy here, that's like, just put this link here. 
'''Fan:''' Oh he offered to give you credit-- 
'''Julie:''' Yes that's the same thing you did. 
'''Chris:''' Well no no, he, no-- 
'''Fan:''' We decided-- 
'''Chris:''' No he's plagiarizing MY Sonichu. 
'''Fan:''' We just decided [unintelligible] 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Julie:''' Chris it's, it's a parody, kinda like Sonichu is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but he--yeah, but he's saying, he said--he--on his front page he says, all Sonichu material-- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah but he's, he just offered to change it, so are you okay with that? 
'''Chris:''' By changing it to Sonichu X-- 
'''Fan:''' No, he said he'll give you credit instead of claiming it for himself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah I would appreciate that, that would be better, yeah, if... he changed that. 
'''Fan:''' Alright cool. 
'''Guy:''' Problem solved. 

===15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes Julie. 
'''Julie:''' Do you think you could tell everyone about my idea? And, since you're going to do it do you think you could tell everyone so they could look out for it? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, your idea... um, oh oh oh, yeah, just basically a video of me coming up to Clyde and showing him how strong I am, a few kicks to the camera-- 

'''(transcription from 24.45)''' 

Chris: There you are, updated. It's finally fixed. 
Guy: Actually that was Richard Karn on Home Improvement, not Billy Mays. 
Chris: Oh. Well my mistake, I mean the guy had the beard and uhh... 
Guy: Oh yeah I can understand. 
Chris: And the voice sounds- and the voice sounds the same... 
Fan: Yeah. They sound the same. 
Guy: I guess. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
Chris: There's a matter of interpretation apparently I misinterpreted so I will admit that I was wrong. 
Fan: Yeah see we all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. 
(pause) 
Guy: (unintelligible babble or singing) 
Fan: Have you gotten any fan art submissions or notable? For the uh- webpage? 
Chris: Yeah I got one today... It's like mostly a drawing of that uh that uh- of the fan herself. 
Fan: Oh. 
Chris: -got in the snail mail today. 
Guy: -Sunday. 
(pause) 
Chris: Oh. Hmmmm... 
Guy: What are you doing for this Valentine's day Chris? 
Chris: Uhhhm... I'm sorry, what was that question? 
Guy: What will you be doing this year on Valentine's day? 
Chris: Hm depends... 
Guy: Ahhh, I see. 
Chris: Hm. 
Fan: Surely a man of such magnitude as yourself are going to be doing something important, aren't you? 
Chris: Mmm. 
Guy: Magnitude? Way to choose the words buddy. 
Other guy: (Unintelligible) 
Chris: Uh, cause I don't have Julie over here yet. 
(Reactions of OHs and AHs) 
Chris: If she was here... 
Julie: (unintelligible) -play games. 
Chris: Or we could just uh... talk. 
Woman: Ehehehehe. Maybe... uh... why no redheads? 
Other Woman: Yeah? 
Chris: Yeah, I was trying to think about that when the other guy asked that question. Uh... I was trying to think up that unh... mmmm... Uhhhh, redheads just don't be very- tract me so much. 
Several: Uh, ah. 
Chris: It's- it's- a- pi- a possibility that they're dyed. 
Woman: Mmmmmmm... 
Chris: But yeah y'know natural redheads enh, yeah, just don't really turn me on as much. 
Woman: I see... 
Fan: Have you thought about girls with um, highlights? 
Chris: Mmmm... (pause) aaahhhh... what turns me on hhh- (inhales) (pause) obviously the women. 
Man: (inaudible) -women? 
Guy: What about piercings or tattoo? 
Chris: Yeah, neither of those. 
(Pause) 
Chris: Ehhhh- 
Guy: Hey (unintelligible) 
Julie: Hey Chris! How bout like non-orange hair, not like... no, never mind. I'm sorry. 
Chris: Yeah... oh... okay... hmmm... 
Julie: Wait Chris! How do you feel about blue hair? 
Chris: Blue hair's okay, otherwise I wouldna- Otherwise I wouldn't've liked Sailor Mercury. 
British??? guy: That is true, she does have blue hair. 
Guy: She's a very fine character. There is no way to deny it. 
Other guy: Blue hair is OFF DA HOOK!!! Doesn't Marge Simpson have blue hair as well? 
Chris: (in some kind of insane voice) Oh yeah! Marge Simpson has blue hair and it's as tall as the Empire State building!!! 
(Some HMMs UHs and UMs follow) 
Julie: Yo Chris!! Can you do some impersonations for us? 
British??? Guy: Oh we'd love to hear that! 
Chris: I just did Marge Simpson. 
Guy: Yeah you're really talented. 
British??? Guy: Yeah. 
(Several people talking at once.) 
Julie: -they're really good. 
Guy: Do another sentence Chris, how about Comic Book Guy? 
British??? Guy: Mmmmhmmm... 
Chris: Oh ??? indeed. Oh I ??? promiscuous and whatnot. I like Batman and Robin, oh look! Stan Marsh has come into the thing again - I forget that guy's name, that guy who did the Marvel comics. 
Several: (incoherent) 
Julie: Stan Lee. (Pause) Chris do your Donald Duck impression. 
Chris: Everybody have (incoherent and scary quacking) 
Several: (laughter) 
Guy: Chris you should work for Disney. 
Fan: That's good Chris. 
Guy: Have you ever considered being a voice actor? 
Chris: Errrrrp... possibly, I'm not sure. 
Fan: (incoherent, cut off by Chris) 
Chris: (incoherent... another cartoon voice) 
Guy: Hey Chris, you're a Christian, right? 
Chris: Yeah 
Guy: I was just wondering- 
Chris: Ahm actu- 
Guy: -do you just- 
Chris: I'm actually a Methodist church. 
Guy: Oh awesome, I was just wondering: Do you think AIDS was sent by god to kill the homos or do you think that it's just an accident or something man-made? 
Chris: The thou- the thought never occurred to me... thought never occurred to me. 
Other guy: can you do an impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger? 
Guy: Hold- the question... 
Fan: Let Chris answer the question. 
Chris: The thought- the thought never occurred to me about what you just said about the AIDS there mmmm... but y'know, it's a possibility and I will not agree nor disagree with it. 
Guy: Yeah, I was just wondering I mean, I've had that discussion with some of my Christian friends. I just wanted to get your opinion, thank you. 
(pause) 
Chris: Mmhhh... 
Julie: I think (clears throat) I think Omicron has a point and you did tell me you went to a methodist church didn't you? So that's- 
Chris: Yeah well th- well my Methodist church is uh more loose on- is not as strict on uh- on uh sex. 
Julie: Chris I don't know- I don't know that much about religion in the States but I don't think there is a looser Meth- Methodist church. God makes the rules Omicron says. 
(pause) 
Chris: Yeah well, hmmm... 
Guy: Well, you know personally I think that the government made AIDS to kill off all the brothers. 
Fan: Whoa, whoa... That's what the blacks always say. 
Chris: Yeah. (pause) I'm going to agree, that sounds like something that uh... well, a black guy would say. 
Guy: So you church is kinda of uh- they let you do- their kinda loose on the whole moral restrictions? 
Chris: Mmm... (pause) uhhh... that's... what's the question? 
Guy: Your church they- you said they're kind of more uh- y'know they're less strict on the whole moral thing, like, as far as sexuality goes? Right? 
Chris: -ah basically. 
Guy: But y'know, uhh, I thought you're supposed to listen to the Bible or whatever not, y'know, not necessarily- no, never mind. 
(Pause) 
Guy: Hey Chris- 
Other guy: (interrupts) 
Chris: Yeah, there's also a uh, there's also a- think about this uh, if you uh- if you- if you were a think uh- you have to find for yourself a good meaning behind uh- good meaning behind watching pornography to uh- like teach how it- how to do this and that when you actually get around to doing it... 
Guy: That's all ??? 
Chris: That's all's considered education for yourself. 
Guy: How is that realistic at all? 
(pause) 
Guy: Yeah, it's uh- not a really good thing to learn from, trust me. 
Chris: It can be done before marriage as well as long as me and my sweetheart really love each other very much. 
Fan: But not in Christianity. 
Guy: But all I'm saying is y'know, porn is completely, completely unre- unrealistic I mean you can't really learn anything from it. 
(pause) 
Chris: It gives- it gives you enough ideas. 
Julie: (incoherent) 
Other guy: (incoherent) porn. 
Guy: When you actually have sex, it's nothing like porn. 
(pause) 
Chris: Maybe not like you, you not gonna do it- 
Accented woman: You can't do it immediately- immediately anal sex cause most women are not very happy with anal sex and also... 
Guy: Okay, shut up 
Accented woman: -and also weird- 
Guy: Shut up. 
Accented woman: Yes. 
Guy: And... that wasn't cool, like... 
Fan: That was uncalled for... 
Guy: Yeah, like, suthin' a BLACK MAN would say... 
Several: (incoherent) 
Other guy: That's racist man... 
Chris: Well, somebody said it on here first before I did. 
Guy: Does that make it ok? 
Julie: Chris, I think he's trying to make it clear that- I dunno. 
Chris: I typically agree with that guy. 
(pause) 
Julie: So nothing g- it doesn't make it ok. 
(incoherent)
Chris: (babbling) I wi- I'm sorry, I take it back. 
(pause) 
(incoherent) 
Guy: Guys can we get back to Sonichu, Please? 
Fan: Yeah. 
Other guy: Yeah this is getting ridiculous. 
Guy: (incoherent) -Sonichu actually. 
(pause) 
Guy: Anyway, my question is that: why does Sonichu not wear clothes while Rosechu and the other Rosechus do wear clothes? And underwear? 
Chris: Aaaaaaaaaamp... It's like uh- it's basically a cartoon and it doesn't really matter, it's like... mm... think about this: Most cartoon characters wear at least one article of clothing. At least one article. And uh- it's like Yogi Bear who just wears a necktie and a hat. 

'''(transcription to continue at 35.14)''' 

{{Transcription}}
{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 8|Mumble Chat 8]]|}}

==Links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?zkia5tz1y5j Download]

==See Also==

[[Christian's sex joke]] - Used during this chat.

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Chris and English

2010-07-23T01:58:37Z

Fenric: /* Repetition */

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he became older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, and that is putting it mildly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]," which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. With all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to "sound out" words like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in Word, Firefox, Google, or any of the dozens of other programs that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "cold-hearted" as "[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|ColdHearted]]," as if it were a compound word, and "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery against the English language, or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]] sounds [[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communications; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrase causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. Why does he repeat himself so much? It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]], and that is likely a factor. Much like his life in general, however, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism. Other possibilities include:
-Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
-Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
-Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones
-Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases we collectively known as "[[CWC-isms]]" follow the above pattern.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. He might have mixed "benevolent" up with "belligerent", which means "war-like".

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm===
Chris takes rhetorical comparisons very literally; he gets extremely attached to the ''exact'' meanings of the these statements, and not the bigger point that the other speaker is trying to make. This is typical in concrete thought, which is a symptom of autism. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

===Literal interpretation===
Chris has the tendency to take questions and suggestions very literally. This is called "concrete thinking". Example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology, and television terminology seems to seep into his other language use. He urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel; this may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. In the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word.

==Chris and profanity==
At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref>

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and English

2010-07-23T01:58:04Z

Fenric: /* Repetition */ Fixing red-links

[[Image:Writing_guide.PNG|thumb|right|Chris has no idea what this is.]]
[[Chris]]'s '''English skills''', like most other things related to Chris, leave much to be desired. Much of this can be attributed to his [[autism]], which often results in awkward speech patterns.<ref>http://www.teacch.com/info_primer.html</ref> He spent years of his childhood mute, and took speech therapy classes at [[James Madison University]]. Strangely, his grasp of English actually appears to have grown weaker as he became older. This might be due to the fact that he spends more and more time in isolation.

==CWC-isms==
Chris has a tendency to make up his own words for things, then use them with reckless abandon while assuming whoever is reading will be able to understand [[autism|exactly what he means]]. As such, we get terms like "B-dog" and "[[noviophobia]]." He also tends to appropriate existing words, giving them new meanings based entirely on his own skewed logic. This is why, in Chris-speak, [[navy]] isn't a sea-based military force and [[China]] isn't an [[Punchy|Asian]] nation.

In the case of words like "da," Chris might be trying to make a pass at using slang to sound casual and relaxed, but instead, he ends up sounding like a marketing executive grasping desperately for credibility. Other famous [[CWC-isms]] like "[[tobacky]]," "[[niggos]]" and "[[gaybian]]" are the result of a different problem altogether: Chris is a manchild who can't even say out loud the names of objects or concepts which he finds repulsive. The use of these terms is a prime example of his immaturity.

These CWC-isms combine with his [[Speech Impediment|existing speech problems]] and his accent to form what you might call [[Wikipedia:Logorrhea|logorrhea]], literally "word flux." Basically, it's verbal diarrhea: a constant stream of almost-words reaching desperately for meaning, only to [[fail]] hard.

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

As you can see in the above quote, this abuse of language isn't limited to just the commonplace CWC-isms we've come to know and tolerate. "Instinctions" is a word Chris made up for this passage to sound [[Autism|fancy and smart]]. Playing fast and loose with language just further decreases the impact of whatever Chris is trying to say. Also of note is that Chris wants to make it illegal to use a word a certain way, which is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], and — quite frankly — [[Creepy stare|creepy]].

His own lexicon, like many other aspects of his personality, demonstrates exactly how self-centered he is. While the whole purpose of language is to express thoughts and ideas to other people, he has managed to turn vocabulary into a brick wall, by crafting a mashed-together lexicon that makes sense only to him.

==Written language==
Chris's writing is a complete mess from top to bottom, and that is putting it mildly.

For starters, he doesn't understand basic syntax and semantics: he uses words in the wrong context, or as incorrect parts of speech, and his grammar is abhorrent. For example, he refers to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|finger-banging]] as "outtercourse,"<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex]]</ref> which incorrectly replaces the supposed prefix ''in-'' — which leaves ''tercourse'', which is not a word at all — while the correct prefix is ''inter-'', meaning "between." Similarly, [[Mailbag 52|the infamous stock reply used to address Mailbag entries]] includes "inputed" as the past participle of ''input''; the correct word is either ''input'' or ''inputted''.<ref>[[wiktionary:input]]</ref>

In addition, he is obviously afraid that whatever he's feeling won't be adequately conveyed through his words, and tries to make up for this by relying on repetition and a distinctive [[BILLY MAYS|ALL CAPS]] style. For similar reasons, he tends to Capitalize Words At Random, Especially nouns and those which hold Importance to the Sentence, or the ones that address Important Abstract Concepts that Chris tries to Systematically Understand on account of finding them too Complex and Mystifying.

{{quote|And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend.|Chris proving that he never proofreads. From the CWCipedia article on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality homosexuality].}}

Beyond these basic issues of grammar and capitalization, Chris's writings often lack focus. Much like any 6-year-old with ADD, he has trouble concentrating on a single topic for extended periods of time, and he instead veers off topic in order to babble about [[Random Access Humor|whatever is on his mind]]. This practice of writing stream-of-consciousness style, combined with his obvious disinterest in proofreading or otherwise checking over what he's written, inevitably results in a large number of confusing run-on sentences. A single sentence might cover multiple topics, often ones that don't have anything to do with the original subject matter. It gives his writing a rambling, disjointed feeling, and makes it very difficult to understand exactly what his point is.

{{quote|...while the Movie Women are "Just Characters", Rosechu is playing as her own "Character" as well. Also, there is MORE THAN ONE Rosechu; Why do you think I've dubbed them respectively "Bubbles Rosechu", "Angelica Rosechu", and recently introduced, "Lolisa Rosechu", of whom her Boyfriend, "Jamsta Sonichu", was the one who Interviewed Blanca and her Jiggliami on Radio Station, KCWC.|Chris, somehow jumping from [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|movies not being reality]] to his [[KCWC|imaginary radio station]].}}

It doesn't help that Chris feels it's his obligation to be "[[Honest Content|honest]]," which means that he feels the need to mention irrelevant little details, as anything less would not mean he's not telling the whole truth.

===Spelling===
[[Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|thumb|right|Chris had a chance to correct this spelling mistake during a [[retcon]] of [[Sonichu 7]], but instead proved he can't spell for shit.]]

One will notice with all the "sic"s scattered around the CWCki that Chris has trouble with simple spelling. With all the other problems with Chris's writing, his poor spelling somehow manages to stand out. He regularly misspells words that should be easy to spell, such as "mies" ([[Sonichu 0|miles]]) and "dood" ([[Sonichu 7|good]]). He seems to have trouble with switching "eni"s for "ein"s, as in "[[seinor prom|seinor]]" (senior) and "geinus" ([[Sonichu 1|genius]]). Sometimes, he seems to "sound out" words like a grade-school child learning how to read, such as "characiture" (caricature), rather than taking a few seconds to spell-check them in Word, Firefox, Google, or any of the dozens of other programs that would automatically correct his spelling. To put the icing on the cake, he writes "cold-hearted" as "[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|ColdHearted]]," as if it were a compound word, and "rest assured" as "[[Twitter#17_July_2010|rest-assured]]" as if it were a hyphenated phrase and not an imperative statement.

It was only relatively recently discovered that the term [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] is supposed to be a pun, and not just another of Chris's random acts of butchery against the English language, or even a mistake due to the fact that "u" is right next to "i" on the QWERTY keyboard. This largely goes to show that Chris's inability to spell correctly is so persistent that when he ''deliberately'' misspells something, it goes completely unnoticed for ''years''.

===Repetition===
Chris frequently repeats himself verbatim. This is most apparent in his [[Attraction Sign]] but has cropped up in numerous other places. He frequently describes his ideal girl as a "boyfriend-free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-up." This rather clunky phrasing is repeated in almost every iteration of the sign, both online and off. He asserts that his idea of "[[Dating Education|Date ed]] sounds [[Sonichu 9|dated]]" on several occasions, and has repeatedly blamed the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] for his woes. This repetition is not limited to his written communications; for example, he has often described his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "starting more arguments than flies in a garbage dump," most recently in his [[Father Call|phone conversation with Kacey's father]].

Clearly, something about these exact phrase causes Chris to reuse them over and over, verbatim, when describing the same problem in different conversations and contexts. Why does he repeat himself so much? It's tempting to just blame his [[autism]], and that is likely a factor. Much like his life in general, however, not all of his failures at communication can be laid at the door of his autism. Other possibilities include:
-Chris struggles to form sentences, and when he does so successfully, he tends to reuse what he knows is a working formula.
-Chris thinks his peculiar constructions are [[Random-access humor|funny]] and uses them to get a laugh, much like his [[Christian's sex joke|one joke]].
-Chris is so lazy that he literally copy/pastes text (or simply copies in the case of non-digital media) from his earlier screeds and manifestos into his new ones
-Chris is simply so [[Things Chris has ripped off|terminally unimaginative]] that he cannot think of more than one way to express a given idea.
Given what we know about Chris, any or all of the above are possibilities. A large number of the phrases we collectively know as "[CWC-isms]" follow the above pattern.

==Semantics==
As demonstrated in CWC-isms above, Chris has severe problems understanding the meanings of words (he described the word "benevolent" as sounding "derogatory"<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>), and just about anything even marginally abstract or metaphorical. He might have mixed "benevolent" up with "belligerent", which means "war-like".

===Muddled-up proverbs===
A good demonstration of Chris's lack of understanding of semantics is the fact that he doesn't really understand proverbs and adages; he frequently recites them incorrectly, clearly misses the point, or [[Autism|takes them literally]]. When he comes up with his own, he doesn't exactly try to veil any wisdom in carefully crafted phrases.

Examples of Chrisverbial Wisdom:

* "Those who are unable to, teach."<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref>
* "shaped OBJECT is the BODY of the Item, but the STICKER is the Item's SOUL."<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>
* "A sound thought is a good thought, unless it is a bad idea."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>
* "The pen is mightier than the sword, yet it is more permanent than a pencil."<ref>[[CWCipedia]]</ref>

The last example illustrates several problems: "The pen is mightier than the sword" (a phrase originally coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, the man who also coined the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") is, of course, generally regarded as a statement that words can have bigger consequences than violence. Chris doesn't understand this, and tries to somehow interpret this concretely: "pen is more permanent than a pencil." It is also problematic because normally, "A, yet B" is usually a statement by ''contrasts'': "A may be true, but a contrary example B is true as well." Still, Chris fails at explaining why it's so important that pens are more permanent than pencils, and what that has to do with pens and their relative might vis-a-vis swords — the meaning of Chris's proverb remains unclear. He cannot even create simple proverbs like
* "One who has his dick in the peanut butter jar, is fucking nuts."

===Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm===
Chris takes rhetorical comparisons very literally; he gets extremely attached to the ''exact'' meanings of the these statements, and not the bigger point that the other speaker is trying to make. This is typical in concrete thought, which is a symptom of autism. Examples:<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>

: '''Kacey's father:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.
: '''Chris:''' Stuff…candy…don't…I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!
: …
: '''Kacey's father:''' I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a Windows is.
: '''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?
: '''Kacey's father:''' Don't… don't patronize me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?
: '''Kacey's father:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that.

In the first example, Chris clearly only hears "You[…] stuff candy down your throat" and interprets the negative tone as an accusation that this is a bad thing, then tries to prove that he does not, in fact, stuff ''candy'' down his throat — just good stuff like vegetables. Because he's threatened, he forgets that this is used as a ''rhetorical comparison'', and thus the original point that the Dad here was trying to make gets lost in sands of time. This is also one of the reasons why conversations with Chris sometimes branch out, lead nowhere, and cause frustration and tears (and tears of mirth for everyone but the two people who are conversing at the time).

As the quote read in [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness]] video says, autistic people are frequently unable to interpret sarcasm; this kind of literal interpretation of everything people say is a trait common in many autistic people. Chris has often been unable to pick up sarcastic comments. Example:<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref>

: '''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in Street Fighter, who do you use the most?
: '''Chris:''' Chun-Li.
: '''Julie:''' I also use Dan.

[[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan Hibiki]] is, of course, a joke character.

===Literal interpretation===
Chris has the tendency to take questions and suggestions very literally. This is called "concrete thinking". Example:<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In-depth answers|Mailbag 2]]</ref>

: '''Q:''' Do you listen to any music while you draw the comics?
: '''A:''' Yes.

To a normal person, the question that was posed would be interpreted along the lines of "What kind of music — what bands, what musical genres — do you listen while you draw the comics, assuming you listen music at all while drawing the comics? If you listen to the music, why does this particular music help you draw things? If not, do you find music distracting, and why?" but instead, Chris interpreted "Do you listen to any music?" literally as a question that can be answered "yes" or "no." Simply put, he is unable to see ''why'' people are asking specific questions that can be answered yes or no, and unable to elaborate or give rationales for his opinions unless those things are ''specifically'' asked from him. Again, this characteristic is due to his autism, not, as is often perceived, his stupidity.

Another example:<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref>
: '''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.
: '''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

This was in response to Chris trying to end the call after an inconvenient discussion.

This also is likely to blame for Chris's second encounter with B-Manajerk. The previous day, the manager of the Wal-Mart had banned him from the store. Problem is, they were inside a McDonald's at the time, and he likely said something along the lines of "Never come to this store again". Chris took this to mean "You are banned from this specific store, the one you and I are standing in right now" and due to this misunderstanding he wound up being chased out of the Wal-Mart.

===Television jargon===
In the ''Sonichu'' comic, Chris also almost consistently uses television terminology instead of comics terminology, and television terminology seems to seep into his other language use. He urges people to "stay tuned" to see new developments in his [[YouTube]] channel; this may seem innocuous at first, as regular people might use "stay tuned" in non-TV situations, but in Chris's case, this may be an indication of a bigger issue. Chris refers to himself as "Great Director Chandler"<ref>[[Mailbag 34#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 34, to Evan]]</ref> and calls alternate versions of his comics "director's cuts."<ref>[[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|Sonichu Quiz 2]]</ref> [[Sonichu 10]] begins with "Previously..." type of recap of the end of the previous comic. In the comic, he consistently refers to "episodes" rather than chapters. He has used "TV-MA/TV-14/TV-Y7" ratings for certain scenes<ref>[[Sonichu 8]]</ref> and, when this self-imposed rating system later failed to work, he blamed FCC for the messed-up ratings,<ref>[[Mailbag 51#The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> even though FCC has no authority over web or print media. He promised a second "season" of the comic — apparently a "reboot" will commence with a "clip show episode" in [[Sonichu 11]].<ref>[[Mailbag 51#A reboot is scheduled|Mailbag 51]]</ref> It is as if he's familiar with only one set of jargon that he then applies to all similar situations, ignoring the fact that most people speak of "comic writers" instead of "directors", "chapters" instead of "episodes", "volumes" instead of "seasons", rate their comics with some rating system that is probably similar to, but not an ''exact duplicate'' of the one used in television — and so on.

===Other strange points===
Chris seems to cling to trademarks. In [[Mailbag 10]], for example, he specifically says a couple of times that he has saved material on his Memory Stick and Memory Stick Duo. Not "saved on memory card" or just "saved"; people generally don't care ''what'' you save your fanart on, as long as it's saved. Chris, however, wants to be specific: the fan material was saved on a Memory Stick Duo. This can be explained, again, by Chris's [[Autism]], where he is literally describing the specific device that he is using to save, not a generalization.

Chris seems to prefer referring to people using their full names; he almost always refers to himself as "Christian Weston Chandler" or, God forbid, "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler"— if he's feeling overly formal. This applies to other people, too; for example, in [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]], he refers to most of the women by their full names. This is yet another autism-related trait.

==Spoken language==
[[Image:Choicevideos.PNG|thumb|300px|Chris's spoken vocabulary.]]
Chris comes off slightly better when speaking, but that's really not saying much. When he addresses the world in one of his many videos, his speech is peppered with vocalized pauses such as "uhh," "hmmm," and "yeah" as he struggles to find the right thing to say. He also tends to stutter and repeat himself.

{{quote|They should have given it perfect- they should have given it five out of five stars... and ten out of ten. Between G4... tee, uh, between G4 and, uh, the Game Informer.|Chris attempting to recommend [[Brutal Legend Plus|Brutal Legend]].}}

Chris does a better job staying on-topic when speaking than he does while writing, likely because when speaking to a camera or another person, he has a clearer idea of the point he wants to get across. Going off on rambling tangents still occasionally happens, but usually only when Chris is trying to be funny.

{{quote|...even to make his own ass bleed. I mean, that story, it's just about as incredibly fabricated as Donna Tubb's time over at when she had to borrow R. Kelly's bathroom... The Cleveland Show, new episodes Sun- every Sunday on FOX.|Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|confusing humor with advertising]]}}

While Chris seems to be at least capable of coherent conversation while calm, things go downhill when he's [[Stress|upset]], [[Chris and Anger|enraged]], or [[Autism|confused]]. In particular, his tendency to throw childlike temper tantrums has resulted in some very bizarre outbursts. When angry, Chris still retains his tendency to go off on tangents and be very proper about compulsively giving all of the [[Honest Content|relevant information]], which means that he's often unable to sum his anger up in just a few succinct words.

{{quote|...SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME A REAL NAME THAT have God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square Shopping center, during 1989, YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!|Chris [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|inserting random details into a hissy fit]].}}

Interestingly, comparisons of his vocal patterns offer one of the few signs of actual development that Chris has ever displayed. Consider his earliest videos; his speech was courtly and disjointed, and delivered almost exclusively in short, monotonous bursts:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|xkVhGLz8MKM}}</center>

There are exceptions to this, but these generally consisted of short phrases apparently culled from TV (note the change in pitch in the above video when Chris describes himself as "ever so lonesome"). All in all, Chris displayed all the attributes one would expect from an autistic, as well as from someone who is completely unused to talking to people.

Comparisons with the present day show a marked change in Chris's manner of speech:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|eKo4EDlVRxc}}</center>

Chris may not sound any more naturalistic, but he does show more of a semantic range than he did two years ago. Clues as to why this has occurred can be found in the subject matter of the videos — Chris perhaps now has realized to some extent that he must engage with people on their terms in order to be taken seriously. While this may not be a massive change, it is still heartening to see that the trolling is stirring the emaciated hulk of his dignity into some sort of creaking action. Who knows? In another two years he may have acquired the vocal skills of a child of kindergarten age.

===Idiosyncrasies===
Chris also has a number of idiosyncrasies which appear frequently in his speech. First, the aforementioned disjointed speech patterns, which are broken up by a number of ideological phrases, which crop up with varying regularity but which sound very similar every time he uses them. Listen closely to the way he introduces himself; he is "Chrishinwessonchanler. From Ruckersville Vir-''gin''-ya." Whenever Chris introduces himself, he basically repeats this exact phonetic pattern, including pauses, the rushed and garbled name, and the staccato rhythm of "Virginia". This is of course explainable by his [[autism]], but it is also related to his [[Random Access Humor|sense of humor]], his [[parody|plagiarism]], and his desire for control over those whom he sees as oppressors.

It may also be related to the less often seen idiosyncrasy which causes him to express disgust with a word physically. For example, in the famous [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|Smell Yo Duck]] music video, Chris first avoided saying the word "dick" altogether, and when forced to repeat the video, showed signs of distress bordering on illness. While this is obviously an exaggeration of Chris's feelings, it is notable that he should feel any particular sensation about simple words whatsoever. This reaction raises the possibility that, so long as he is not faking it altogether, Chris may be a [[Wikipedia:Synesthesia|synaesthete]]. There's also the possibility that he has a strong association with a certain word and associates guilt with it, like a child hearing a curse word.

==Chris and profanity==
At some point in the 2000s, Chris became an enthusiastic user of profanity and vulgar language. According to [[Mimms]], in his early days at [[The GAMe PLACe]] Chris avoided cursing, at least in public, but in more recent years he's lost almost all compunctions in this regard. His videos, blogs, and public pronouncements are full of foul language and obscene references. This is possibly to seem more "adult".

He still holds back in some ways, though. In much of his writing, especially in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]], Chris shows a strange inclination to censor himself. He regularly uses profanity in his blog entries and Mailbag responses, but the offending words are typically blotted out with asterisks: "D*** that Son Of A B****, Clyde Cash",<ref>[[CWC Blog]], December 2009</ref> for instance, or "BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?"<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref>

It could be that Chris believes that most of the CWCipedia's audience is comparatively young, and therefore censors his outbursts to protect his imagined fanbase. Another, more complex theory proposes that it's a sign of Chris's stunted maturity level — he wants to use profanity to signify that he's an adult, but he retains a child's guilt and uncertainty about swearing. (The same theory is often floated regarding [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Daveykins David Gonterman], another angry internet cartoonist with an incongruous tendency to censor himself.)

==See also==
*[[Speech Impediment]]
*[[Chris's resume]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Anything written on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:Fenric

2010-07-22T06:11:37Z

Fenric:

User:Fenric

2010-07-20T23:17:02Z

Fenric:

User:Fenric

2010-07-20T23:05:25Z

Fenric: Created page with '{{Britfag}} {{Lesbian}} {{Hex-Box}}'

Chris's birthday

2010-07-07T08:08:21Z

Fenric:

{{Needs Images}}

'''Chris's birthday,''' the 24th of February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons.

==Notable Birthdays==

===18th===

While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, [[Chris]] got a Sega Dreamcast. Now, he did have something of a party, in the same way small children do, namely, with some thrown together decor, last minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]]. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and some cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever, of such tantamount importance he decided to record it in his "[[My big 18th party]]" story.

===21st===

Now, if that was Chris's best, this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[English]] class at the [[PVCC]] by his professor. Chris alleges his professor didn't understand [[autism]], while he later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]], Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity.

===27th===

Not much is known other than Chris's [[Aunt Corina]] was buried on his birthday, undoubtedly casting a shadow on the festivities. [[Chris and death|He didn't seem too bugged though]]. Oh, and it was Shrove Tuesday, so the pancakes probably helped ease the guilt.

===28th===

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!" | Chris, on being nearly 30}}

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the [[homo]] vaccine in [[Sonichu 10]] is distributed into the global water supply on this day.

==April 24th is also...==

*Ironically, Genocide Remembrance Day, commemorating the Armenian Genocide of 1915.
*The day the Nazi Party was founded.
*The day Roy Jenson died.
*The day the Dominican Republic broke out in Civil War, 1965.

{{stub}}

Autism

2010-07-07T08:00:33Z

Fenric: /* Chris's symptoms */

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
</center>

{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown but has been shown to have a genetic factor, but it begins in children under the age of 3 and generally irreversible; there is no cure. Autistic individuals are not necessarily retarded — some have above-average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, even the most casual of observers would conclude that Chris [[fail|is basically non-functioning.]]

Disgustingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]]. The irony of his resent for 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has, being the autism-nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.{{cite}} Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never had a real girlfriend, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite all this, though, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]], yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now God can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how an [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "God put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favours. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with objects are also a definite sign of autism; this is evident in Chris due to his obsession with his Sonichu medallion. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects.

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==

{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's bad, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder. Per the lyrics: "A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!" To Chris, that's all it is— a condition that makes you a little smart and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris considers himself to be of "the First Generation of Autistic People," suggesting that he believes the disorder did not even exist before him.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers Christian Weston Chandler's Opinion on the Autisim/Aspergers Comparison.]</ref>

When explaining his condition to [[Matt Devoria]], Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors, despite scientific research to the contrary. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents (Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived) are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Chris's specific agenda on this issue is clearly based on his desire to have non-autistic children, and his fear that potential [[sweetheart]]s (or their parents) will reject him if they think he will sire nothing but retarded babies.

On at least one occasion, Chris has blamed the cause of autism on "a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth,"<ref>[[Mailbag 12]]</ref> apparently in reference to the persistent, but thoroughly debunked [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|fringe theory]] that MMR vaccinations cause autism. Chris seems oblivious to the fact that this completely contradicts his usual babysitter story.

Inexplicably, Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism (high-functioning or otherwise) with [[Asperger's syndrome]], a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times Chris has said that he dislikes Asperger's because advocates of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy from autism awareness. He's also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger's was the most effective way to troll him, culminating in the [[Asperchu]] saga. By now Chris just hates Asperger's because it reminds how angry he got the last time someone brought it up, so his hatred of it has become completely baseless. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a superior tier of social retardation.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality (lack of sex-drive) is very common in autistic people, this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "Love Quest" and suggests that he is probably trying to compensate for his inability to feel sexual attraction, even if that does mean becoming a pervert.

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he opined that our society is spending so much time on the internet that we're ''all'' becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> Nope, sorry, it's just you, Chris.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a PlayStation 3). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is— a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==What other aspies think of Chris==

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone pretending to be Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]