CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and art

2023-03-30T22:40:33Z

FireLiz:

{{quote|My art style, I feel, is one that would be typically mistaken as child-like, yet there is an elegance that gives its simplicity an appealing charm. This is a style that needs not be overthought, as it is typically to the point.|[[Chris]], talking about his art<ref>[[January 2020 social media posts]]</ref>}}

[[File:MyMindIsABlank.jpg|thumb|''[[January 2015 Facebook posts#He Hasn't Forgotten Us!|My Mind Is a Blank]]'', January 2015]]

[[File:CWCPeterPaulRubens.png|thumb|How Chris sees his self-portraits.]]

'''Art''' has been, and always will be, Chris's selling point. Chris has been involved with some form of art or another throughout his life. He has taken numerous art and design classes in [[high school]], and he holds a degree in [[CADD|computer-aided drafting and design]]. But despite his extensive education in the visual arts (and relative lack of other discernible skills), his style is quite unique, to say the least.

Ever since the very day [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] found out about Chris's creation of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], many people have taken interest in Chris because of his infamously bad artwork. Ironically, his crude creative abilities are what made him stand out as an artist. ''Sonichu'' wouldn't be ''Sonichu'' without Chris's art. Encouraging Chris to produce more of it remains a popular objective amongst [[troll]]s and [[ween]]s.

==Before we get started with today's critique...==
It can be easy to simply write off Chris as a bad artist without asking why. But of course, visual art is subjective – there are a multitude of reasons ''why'' someone might not like a particular work, and there are bound to be people who will like it. Different styles suit different artists (and viewers), and realism isn't exactly the gold standard of good art. The fact that people [[commissions|commission]] Chris is proof that he isn't objectively a failed artist. After all, he sold more art than Van Gogh ever did in his lifetime.

Chris is no [[naive]] artist – he took art classes throughout his schooling. He is most likely familiar with the process of artistic critiques in an academic setting. This article will reflect that process.

Instead of outright praising or bashing Chris's art, this critique will offer constructive criticism. It will examine strong and weak points of Chris's art in an objective, taste-neutral manner. It will examine all media but place special emphasis on his most proficient medium: drawing. The article will also consider the context of Chris's art. Finally, it will consider ways he has improved his craft, aspects that can be improved, and techniques he is outright unwilling to improve.

==Weak points==

===Exercise of skills and improvement in craft===
[[Image:0025-ChristophersMicroMornings.jpg|thumb|left|Not bad for a grade-schooler.]]

Chris does not seem to consider his artistic skill in need of revision; he is always fully satisfied by the first attempt at a drawing he makes. Naturally, being an artist of that caliber, Chris takes it upon himself to criticize the art that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] send to him, and is quick to point out the myriad of "flaws" in each work.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#After Emily]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2]]</ref>

Chris has said he spends "an hour at most" drawing a comic page and about a half-hour coloring it.<ref>[[Mailbag 2#In which Chris insults someone who drew a picture for him]]</ref> He does not seem to be aware of the fact that producing the kind of high-quality artwork that fans expect in a good comic strip is very labor-intensive and can easily take hours, sometimes days, even with professional software programs like Photoshop. He also doesn't seem to understand, or care, that any good artist will draw a scene multiple times before they publish it, especially if there are mistakes. In pretty much any episode of ''Sonichu'', you will be sure to find at least one mistake Chris has made that he refuses to redo and simply colors over. One good example is the scene from Chris and Ivy [[Giant Penis Comic|going to a hotel for hanky-panky]].<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg]]</ref> If you look at the scene, you can see multiple mistakes that any artist would have seen as a reason to redo the picture. Chris started to draw his balls (via tracing), but decided he didn't like the proportions that presented, so he decided to keep the start of the trace and just add some "speed lines". If you look at the picture of Ivy you will see that Chris messed up a bit around her face but decided that instead of redoing it, he'd just color over it. He also messed up a bit on her right breast; he drew one too small and decided to make it bigger, by just adding another curved line.

At times, he would expand ''Sonichu'' stories in summary form on [[CWCipedia]], a medium better equipped to keep up with his racing, easily distracted imagination. Everything he says or writes, he considers being a part of his comic's continuity partly because it is easier to record these euphoric and fleeting bouts of inspiration as they occur rather than days, weeks, months, or even years later in comic form.

Chris's art ''has'' improved in recent years: compare the original [[Sonichu 0]] cover to his later covers. The amount in which he has improved, though, is up for debate.

===Choices of materials and technology===
[[File:July14MarkerPhoto.jpg|thumb|Chris's tools.]]

Chris believes that his so-called "hand-drawn style" is superior to art produced by any other means. This is due to Chris's hatred to change what he has already learned and his belief, as a consequence of his [[ego]], that his method is the best by virtue of being his.

Obviously, Chris's skill cannot compensate for the poor materials he uses. He does his work a disservice by using tools that are the cheapest available: copy paper, Pentel RSVP ballpoint pens, and Crayola washable markers.<ref>[[Mumble 7#10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies|Mumble #7]]</ref> These happen to be the tools he has used since childhood.

Far from archival quality, his art has sometimes shown [[Wedding Comic|signs of wrinkling]] as soon as it has been finished. Chris has defended his practice of [[Chris and writing#Dialogue|rampant textwalling]] as a way to "save marker ink."<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

When Chris wants to alter a panel, but does not want to put in the effort to redraw the entire page, his method to fix it is to draw a piece on another page, cut it out, and glue it over the original drawing. This can be seen in revisions to [[Sonichu 15]].

While Chris has claimed at various times to use {{w|Adobe Photoshop}} to create his characters and edit his comics,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation Sonichu's Conception and Creation], archived from [[CWCipedia]].</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800]]</ref><ref>[[Chris's resume#Experience]]</ref> he has only ever been seen using {{w|Adobe PhotoDeluxe}},<ref>The Adobe PhotoDeluxe name can be seen on the taskbar of Chris's computer at 0:13 in [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]].</ref><ref>Chris offered PhotoDeluxe advice to [[The Wallflower]] in [[Wallflower E-mails 2]].</ref> with which he created his [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|slanderous head-swap]] of [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s buddy Matt. This is in spite of the fact that PhotoDeluxe is intended for scanning and touching up photographs, and Photoshop (which Chris claims to own) would be better suited for the kind of general-purpose image editing and head-swapping that Chris does. In addition, PhotoDeluxe is a fossil of a program that hasn't been supported by Adobe since [[2002]]. Chris's claim in [[Mailbag 3]] that he uses "a past version" of Photoshop<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Art questions]]</ref> could imply that he is [[Slow-in-the-minds|confusing PhotoDeluxe for a part of the Photoshop line]], or that, if he really does use Photoshop, the revision he owns is just as woefully out-of-date as his ancient PhotoDeluxe program.

Chris's font of choice for most of the ''Sonichu'' comics was {{w|Comic Sans}}, a font almost universally condemned for being overused, childish, unprofessional, and ugly; serious designers generally only use it as a last resort or for ironic effect, since better handwritten fonts are available for purchase.<ref>[http://bancomicsans.com Ban the Comic Sans]</ref><ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 They will make you taste the curb]</ref> However, starting from [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] onward, he switched to Proxima Nova.

===Drawing techniques===
[[File:CChanDraws.jpg|thumb|Strange pen grips can be corrected with the assistance of school teachers. Chris slept through these lessons.]]
Chris has never even learned to hold a pen correctly. Instead of holding the front of the pen with the thumb and forefinger, he draws with his index finger sticking out and bent around the pen. Give this a try and see how long it takes for you to get carpal tunnel.

In [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] (2009) and [[Live Drawing Streams]] (2017), Chris demonstrated his drawing technique on video.

[[File:Chris pen grip 2019.jpg|Wearing gym gloves while drawing.|thumb]]

During 2019, Chris hampered his ability further by wearing his gym gloves while drawing.

{{quote|I don’t want to deal with the constant pencil sharpening and all that trash.|Chris giving one of his reasons for why he uses a pen for line art<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20191108234140/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1001562775209086976</ref>.}}

While most artists will produce multiple sketch versions of a single drawing, often layered on top of one another, Chris is so confident in his innate artistic ability that his first step in a page of ''Sonichu'' is drawing the final line art in pen before coloring it in with Crayola markers. If he makes a mistake, he shrugs it off and continues. There is no post-processing beyond adding text to word balloons with MS Paint and PhotoDeluxe. Attempts to inform him that digital coloring is more efficient and far less expensive than wasting gallons of marker ink filling in monocolor backgrounds have failed.

===Visual style and most artistic fundamentals===
[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|thumb|250px|left|Nice arms you got there, Chris.]]
[[File:SchuComic12-1P106.jpg|thumb|Try and work out what's meant to be happening here.]]
{{Quote|sonichu had kind of a kiddy art style, which i guess was your point. [...] i thought you meant it as an avant-garde thing, to make a statment like, ironically bad|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref>}}

Before the comics, Chris attempted realism for work in oil pastel, charcoal, and graphite, presumably for art classes in school. The results can be seen in the gallery below. While he did spend some time in high school taking art classes, most professional artists heavily study artistic fundamentals before venturing off into the territory of stylization. Without knowing how things appear in reality, it is difficult to distort properties to an aesthetically pleasing effect. Chris trusts in his abilities yet lacks proficiency in the most important fundamentals. This overconfidence results in the ''Sonichu'' comics looking like they were drawn by a grade-schooler.

Chris started out with a cartoony style for the comic book, full of techniques consistent with early efforts at drawing by small children. Things changed as Chris got into [[anime]] and manga, and sought to emulate them to impress his [[gal-pal]] at the time, [[Megan Schroeder]]. Like many amateur western artists, he copies only the surface elements of the anime style: big eyes, pentagonal heads, speed lines, emotions. These elements were simply laid over his original "style" with no adjustment, and did nothing to improve the quality of his work.

[[File:Michiru and Haruka translated art2.jpg|thumb|This woman has three elbows.]]

Chris has no understanding of classical anatomy, proportion in figure drawing, or even basic form. His characters are drawn using simple shapes – colored-in outlines, without any shading, ''ever'' – and even so, he is unable to keep the shapes consistent to any degree. These shapes rarely have any form at all, leading to characters having a "cardboard cutout" quality to them: head-on body with a slightly turned head. Though he lacks the skills to make even decent simple poses, Chris has the balls to attempt foreshortening on occasion- with disastrous results.
[[File:ChrisDislocatedWrists.png|thumb|right|In his hastiness to draw [[Giant Penis Comic|pornography]] of himself and [[Ivy]], Chris seems to have forgotten that wrists and forearms are incapable of twisting in such a way without causing serious and extremely painful dislocation injuries.]]
[[File:Billy mays hand.png|thumb|left|Something's not right with this picture...]]

Characters have no set proportions: limbs morph, heads change size, and faces become unrecognizable; it's only by the color scheme that we can guess which character is which. For example, in the opening of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|the children]] tend to noticeably get deformed in a different manner in each panel, despite the fact that they're drawn as just an oval for the head, a rectangle for the body, and smaller ovals for the arms and legs. Just to be sure we know who's who (a job that is taken care of by the artwork in any normal comic) Chris sometimes relies on labelling characters with text and arrows. Beyond his [[Heterochromia|differently-colored eyes]] and [[Sonichu medallion]], no two Chrises have ever looked alike, or even remotely resembled the actual Chris. The character sizes are also inconsistent, which is strange considering most of the characters appear to be about the same size: in most drawings where Sonichu is carrying Rosechu, Rosechu seems to shrink.

[[Image:ProportionFail.jpg|thumb|Chris is an expert at proportion.]]

Finer details of human anatomy have long escaped him; because Chris never draws women with pronounced hips, the results tend to resemble children or men (such as with the character [[Lovely Weather]]), with unfortunate implications in either case. Chris also doesn't seem to realize that drawing techniques that work in other media might not work in cartoons. For example, he sometimes draws himself with almond-shaped eyes. While no real person's eyelids are perfectly circular like a cartoon character, cartoonists generally reserve non-circular eyes for Asian characters.

[[Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|thumb|This car will either always veer left or never run at all.]]

Despite boasting that his "drawings of perspective viewpoints are surpassive [sic]"<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> due to his training in [[CADD]], Chris constantly fails at perspective, with objects implied to be far-away depicted too large. This is evident in his many [[Son-Chu|vehicle designs]], where the front is usually a direct frontal (90 degree) view, regardless of the view angle of other sides. This inability to demonstrate parallel lines renders the car distorted. The lack of any concept of shading only further destroys any semblance of perspective; legs that are implied to be bent forward at the knee only end up looking shorter.

Possibly the worst offender is Chris's constant omission of backgrounds. Most scenes happen only on the white backdrop of the paper. Readers are apparently supposed to infer what the background looks like based on context, similar to some daily newspaper comic strips. Thus, simply drawing a wide-angle shot of the scenery as the first (usually transitional) panel in a scene would suffice. Combined with his inability to make a proper layout, many action scenes end up becoming a jumble of characters moving around without regards to sequence. The reason he does this is probably the same as the reason why he textwalls so often: to "save marker ink," meaning he's lazy. (Incidentally, the proper use of white space and the conservation of painted space is a key element in East Asian art, but despite his anime obsession he is unlikely to have heard of this).

A related phenomenon is simply drawing characters as floating disembodied heads. The [[Magi-chan|deus ex machina/exposition machine]] is the biggest victim of this. Once again, Chris couldn't bother to draw a full body. Thus, combining all known forms of "marker ink conservation", some pages are just a bunch of literal talking heads speaking walls of text.

Chris owns at least one book about drawing manga, as seen in [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]. The book in itself covers everything to do with portraying couples, including images of couples in bed making love. Whether Chris bought it to better draw out his delusional fantasies or for more material to [[mass debate]] to isn't known, but either way, the book taught him nothing.

=== Character design ===
See also: [[Chris and writing#Characterization|Written characterization]]

A large portion of the ''Sonichu'' cast is clearly derivative of existing characters. In addition to the obvious ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' recolors, Chris has lifted designs from any anime, video game, or even Western animation he is fond of, with no regard for visual consistency.

Beyond that, he doesn't even bother trying to design better clothing for his characters. Most of them wear stereotypical "basic" clothing, and Chris himself wears his usual [[clown shirt]]s and pants. With the sole exception of [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]], every female that shows up in his comics wears high-heeled dress shoes.

Even when the source of Chris's plagiarism is readily apparent, these lifts can still add up to less than the sum of their parts. Inspired by the fusion characters of ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[God of War]]'', [[Collosal Chan]] looks more like a hobo than a fusion of Chris and Chris-Chan Sonichu. Though clearly, his own effort to design baby [[Pokémon]], [[Sonee and Rosey]] look more unnerving than adorable.

===Fan (dis)service===
[[File:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Insta-boner.]]
{{quote|I am not a gorey artist; just accept the Fan Service of panty-shots and get over yourselves.|<ref>[[Mailbag 45#Chris' hormones + Rosechu's ass = Fan service]]</ref>}}
{{w|Fan service}} is a term used to describe something that is meant to tease or please the audience. It can refer to any content seen as an effort to appease the desires of fans, but for the sake of this section, it's used primarily to describe scenes of a sexually titillating nature.

Since his discovery by the Internet, Chris has inserted increasingly large amounts of fan service into the initially tame ''Sonichu'' in an effort to assert the heterosexuality of himself and his characters. The range of fan service in ''Sonichu'' includes panty shots, Rosechu's [[women's rights|stripping]], cameltoe indentations, and even a full [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17|sex scene]] followed by four pages of text and diagrams describing Sonichu and Rosechu's sexual anatomy.

[[File:Battery-Charge Heart intro.jpg|thumb|left|150px|He made sure to draw [[Battery-Charge Heart]]'s skirt so short, we can see the carpet matches the drapes.]]
Due to his lack of artistic faculties, much of Chris's depictions of sexuality are highly unsettling to most readers. Any attempts to add "sexy" material come across as Chris's own wish-fulfillment or self-interest, rather than attempts by Chris to please his audience.

While the point of fan service is to hint at sexuality in an otherwise clean work meant for general audiences, ''Sonichu'''s sexual content hides nothing and disturbs many, despite the fact that Chris has always viewed ''Sonichu'' as a comic intended for children. Chris tried to justify putting panty shots in a children's comic by saying... {{quote|Children will likely be seeing the same things in real life, so mellow out and let them learn a bit, and further educate the children with discussions.|Children will be seeing furry porn in real life.<ref>[[Mailbag_47#Children_will_be_seeing_furry_porn_in_real_life]]</ref>}}

==Strong points==
Chris is far from the worst artist ever; there are several strong points to his work that set him apart from other poor artists.
===Color choices and coordination===
Chris does get color coordination. Most of the color schemes he uses in his work look decent. Being Chris, he still fails occasionally, such as with the [[CWCipedia]] color scheme. Still, color is one of his few strong points, at least compared to the rest of his art style. As evidenced by most of his websites, custom console skins, and a good chunk of his character designs, Chris's favorite colors appear to be yellow and blue. That color combination is hard to get wrong, which is why so many cartoon characters (from the Simpsons to SpongeBob) have yellow skin. Chris also appears to be fond of the [[USA|red, white, and blue]] compliment, judging by his [[The Classic|trademark polo shirt]].

Despite excelling in this fundamental field, Chris does struggle with coloring [[rainbow]]s in the correct order of ROY G. BIV.

===Dexterity===
Despite his awkward pen grip, Chris seems to have a mostly steady hand. His penmanship is neat and legible, and most of his mistakes stem from writing the wrong letter and scribbling/doctoring it into the right one, instead of any kind of actual handwriting disorder. His most recent driver's license signature appears to be quite flourished and feminine. Many artists with unorthodox hand techniques claim their grips can actually give them more control over the pen, and even trained calligraphers don't always stick to the standard grip taught to them in kindergarten.

Chris never seemed to struggle in the dexterity department – he can write and draw more neatly than folks with poor {{w|fine motor skills}}. He doesn't have an issue with other activities requiring dexterity, such as typing or playing [[video games]]. The [[autism papers]] don't even mention poor fine motor coordination, which is relatively common (but not universal) among autistics. Even [[autism|our own article on Chris's diagnosis]] doesn't touch his dexterity, only his {{w|gross motor skills}}. '''For once, Chris's autism isn't the culprit!'''

If Chris actually took his time and learned patience, his line work could be phenomenal.

===Reach===
''See also: [[Warhol / Chris Chan]]''

Chris has undoubtedly become a pop culture phenomenon, while many other artists who spent decades refining their craft can go their entire lives without selling many paintings – or any at all. ''Looking at [[medallions]] alone,'' Chris has sold more works than Frida Kahlo even ''produced'' in her lifetime. Chris's works have been referenced in master theses, published essays, and other academic media countless times. Judging by artists like Van Gogh or Warhol, GodBear knows if Chris's works will end up in a museum some time after his [[Chris and death|passing]]. The fact that people are compelled to look at Chris's work at all speaks volumes.

===Is art even ''Sonichu's'' main failing?===
{{main|Chris and writing}}

Complex drawing is not mandatory for making a good comic. Chris's art style is arguably more complex than the style Charles Schulz used for ''Peanuts''. ''{{w|Diary of a Wimpy Kid}}'' and ''{{w|xkcd}}'' get the job done with simple stick figures. Some artistically challenged cartoonists will even ditch the pen for a nice camera to create a {{w|photo comic}}. These genres might not carry museum-quality art, but the cartoonists generally make up for it with clever writing.

However, ''Sonichu'' doesn't even have that to fall back on. Chris does no preparatory writing or preliminary revision; his narrative is wholly improvised and shifts regularly. He cannot write clear, succinct dialogue, and he has little regard for visual clarity.

He doesn't understand how graphic novels are supposed to work as a narrative through sequential images, and instead presents the series more like a storyboard for a hypothetical television series. As a whole, the series has excessive dialogue, something better suited for a novel or television script. It often uses literal phrases (e.g., "cuts grass") as a substitute for visual action and/or comic onomatopoeia. Chris divides each volume of ''Sonichu'' into "episodes", a concept popular in TV land, but unheard of in the comic book industry. Perhaps Chris isn't interested in art or comics – he's just interested in ''Sonichu''.

==Chris and digital art==
[[File:Sonichuipaddrawing2020.jpg|thumb|200px|[[CWC-isms#hand-drawing|A blocky and low-resolution]][[Spirit possession| self portrait]]: Chris's foray into iPad art.]]

Much like his opinions on [[Chris and drugs#Alcohol|alcohol]], [[SLGBTQ|LGBT+ folks]], [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|butt play]], and the holy [[HEXBox]], Chris's thoughts on digital art have evolved from outright bashing to a much more open outlook.

===During the classic era===
In the early 2000s, Chris was somewhat open to the digital arts. He created [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in a high school computer graphics class, and he would brag and boast about his [[CADD]] major. Things changed soon after.

Chris would often state that using new technology creatively provides an unfair advantage in the service of inferior results. Repeatedly, he has called ''[[Asperchu]]'' "blocky and low resolution" because it was drawn with a tablet, this is most likely because Chris thinks that doing digital art instead of the traditional way makes results comparable to poor MS Paint drawings that are more familiar with him. In one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|phone calls to Alec Benson Leary]], Chris said his hand-drawn art had "more character" (never mind that tablet art is technically hand-drawn art anyway).

===A change of heart: Chris gets an iPad===
Chris began opening up to digital media in the 2010s. In [[May 2020]], during his phase of [[role-play]]ing as [[Sonichu]], Chris used his [[COVID-19]] Economic Impact Payment check on an iPad, software, and accessories for drawing digital art. He attempted a drawing of Sonichu, and he complained about how hard the software was to use.<ref>[[May 2020 social media posts#Chris gets an iPad]]</ref>

===Will Chris switch to digital?===
On 14 [[July 2021]], Chris tagged the Crayola company in a Twitter thread, complaining about inconsistencies between similar- and same-colored markers.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1415466170271010818</ref>

A Twitter user asked Chris if he would switch to digital art, stating "it might be better for you in the long run". Instead of defending his marker-on-paper style like usual, he responded favorably:

{{quote|Eventually, likely so. I have been so very busy to totally find my niche with a tablet and stylus pen setup. Sonichu gave my body a conscious start on the setup with the iPad, but that’s a major Gonna need more free time to practice with it. I haven’t found the right timing yet|Chris <ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1415762053755723777</ref>}}

Notably, Chris admitted that digital art takes effort, and he seems willing to make the switch in the future after some practice. Time will tell if he does so, now that he has been freed from jail.

==Chris's other artistic media==

Drawing may be Chris's medium of choice, but he's dabbled in others.

===3D Media===
[[File:Med_59_A.png|thumb|150px|One of the replica medals]]
Chris has produced a line of Sonichu [[medallions]], made out of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]]. In [[September 2014]], Chris started selling replicas of his handcrafted medals, produced to various qualities.

He has made [[Sonichu Amiibo]] by Frankensteining multiple Amiibos together and crudely painting them.

Another 3D piece is his [[Sonic Totem]] from middle school, which sold on [[eBay]] for $1500 USD.

===Photography and Videography===
{{Main|Chris and cinematography}}

===Animation===
Chris at one point tried taking up a new medium in the form of animation. Using the Nintendo DSi program ''[[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]]'', Chris took his drawing to a whole new level...or least, he could have. His drawing degraded greatly when doing artwork here, mostly due to using the DS's stylus pen. When doing animations, his characters have very little fluid movement to them and they seem to [[jerk]] and wobble, as if they're characters from ''[[CWCFlyingElephants|Ed, Edd n Eddy]]'' or ''[[Adult Swim|Home Movies]]''. The best one to tell of this is the [[Don'tGetTrolled!]] animation; you can tell which part was animated by Chris and which part was animated by the original author, 8-Bit, because Chris's artwork just wobbles in a distorted fashion.

===Music===
{{Main|Chris and music}}

===Sewing===
[[File:Cwc_sewing3.jpeg|thumb|150px|Looks like we have ourselves a seamstress.]]

Chris "restored" [[The Classic|his classic striped shirt]] himself before attempting to sell it. As said shirt spent three years in a water-filled trash bag and was damaged beyond repairability, it didn't work out that well.

===Spray-painting===
{{Main|Shoe Colouring}}

===Costume Design===
{{Main|Chris and cosplaying}}
Continuing his trend of using the cheapest materials possible while incorporating only the vaguest of likenesses, Chris's foray in cosplay is par for the course with his hand-drawings. They're poorly made, not thought out, and Chris likely believes they're professional quality.

==Originality and plagiarism==
{{Main|Things Chris has ripped off}}
{{see also|Chris and copyright|Parody}}

When it comes to originality, Chris has absolutely none.

''Sonichu'' is a fine blend of Chris's personal life and a wide variety of recognizable copyrighted elements. Just about any existing medium that Chris has ever expressed a fondness for appears in some capacity.

Chris has a long history of claiming all credit for fan characters initially acknowledged as being created by others and offered for use in Chris's comics. The first of these were [[Megagi]], [[Jiggliami]], and [[Layla]], but the most infamous instance, and the one that Chris defended the most fervently, was [[Simonla Rosechu]].

At the same time, Chris once had a policy of threatening nonexistent legal action against the creators of any ''Sonichu'' fan art he could find, and was worked into a [[12 January 2010|magnificent rage]] over the ''Sonichu''-derivative fan [[parody]] ''Asperchu''.

As well, Chris has gone so far as to take a video, the aforementioned [[Don'tGetTrolled!]], and alter it to suit his needs. Now, granted, there were other videos done using that same video, but where they just altered the stick character or sped up the video in the same vein as a [[Random-access humor|YouTube Poop]], Chris completely and utterly altered the video to suit his needs so that a humorous song about [[trolling]] is turned into Chris's mouthpiece to destroy Freedom of Speech to make the Internet safer for him.

==Art gallery==
===High school art===
Seen below is a selection of Chris's public school art assignments, from a slideshow on Chris's homemade [[DVD]]. At his high school graduation, Chris expected to be "Highly Recognized" for his "ARTISTIC TALENT", represented in this body of work. When he was not, he cried.<ref>[[Manchester High School#Graduation]]</ref> This work was produced under the supervision of a professional art instructor and the incentive for Chris to give each piece more thought, care and attention than he now prefers to when creating only for his own satisfaction. Despite this, they're still terrible. Note that some readers may find several of these images inadvertently terrifying.

{{collapsible
|Gallery
|<gallery>
Image:441-CubScoutShield.JPG|Defending the honor of [[Chris and health|junk food everywhere!]]
Image:442-HedgehogShark1.JPG|Sculpted in such a way that it looks like a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|toilet]] at first blush.
Image:443-HedgehogShark2.JPG|
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|Fox McCloud, one month after crash-landing in the middle of Africa.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|This thing deserves [[Sonic Totem|its own page]] by now.
Image:446-CWCWeave.JPG|The teacher quickly thought up something to keep Chris occupied for the rest of the lesson.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Coming soon from Franklin Mint...
Image:448-CWCWigwam.JPG|Ancient relic of the [[Cherokian Clan]].
Image:449-CWCDreamCatcher.JPG|It doesn't catch dreams. It ''stares into your soul''.
Image:450-HedgehogFish1.JPG|Sad to say, it was originally Chris who came up with the "Long fish is loooooo
Image:451-HedgehogFish2.JPG|oooooooooooong" meme.
Image:452-CWCsBunchOfArt.jpg|Scan of a print of a photograph of drawings. How very meta!
Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|[[Autism]] is in Living Room. Autism is in Wife. Autism is in Children and - well - Autism is in Life.
Image:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|A rare shot of Chris's largely forgotten Pokémons, Espanolic and Vegaton.
Image:459-CWCsBanjo.JPG|Banjo, the champion of Christianity and bright colors.
Image:460-CWCsComputerGraphicsPoster.JPG|In the first lesson, the computer graphics teachers usually say something like "Don't go crazy with the effects, m'kay?" Chris never listens.
Image:463-SonicAndTailsBunch.jpg|A Magic Eye picture that reveals absolutely nothing. We tried.
Image:464-CWCSpeckle.jpg|The teacher who traumatized Chris wasn't actually the principal - it was the art teacher, who forced Chris to make a drawing with prickly-wicklies.
Image:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|Chris's masterpiece of originality, second only to the creation of Sonichu<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>: an ash tray that shoots tobacco straight to the Sun - powered by dark magic.
Image:466-CWCNecklace.jpg|Some [[Cherokian Clan|Ancient Cherokian]] [[Sex toys|anal beads]].
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|It's... off-center.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Sonic [[Yawning Squirtle|unfocuses]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's shield was eaten.
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Following in Ed Gein's footsteps.
Image:472-CWCWingCapDish.JPG|We don't know ''what'' this is, but it has the letter C, so it's obviously Chris's.
Image:473-YarnPot.JPG
Image:474-SquarePot.JPG
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|A relaxing person who bears little resemblance to Chris.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|The same. Hilariously enough, [http://www.miketyndall.com/todd_goldman/ Todd Goldman] ripped off the "[[White knight#Chris will reject your advice|I just don't listen]]" things on the background. Everything is interconnected! [[Soul Calibur|Tracing and ignorance, fiercely entangled!]]
Image:477-PastelDuoPic.JPG
Image:478-PastelHorses.JPG|[[My Little Pony|Proto-Cheroki-Chan.]]
Image:479-PastelSunset.JPG|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|A big golden turd.]]
Image:482-SwirlingEspanolics.JPG
Image:483-RainbowLeaf.JPG|OH, GOD! What does this ''mean''?
Image:484-MergingPeople.JPG|Art class pictures usually have some sort of central idea the teacher gave to the students. Chris is [[Autism|unable to communicate it to us.]]
Image:485-CWCsF.JPG|It's a passable drawing, so it's possible Chris didn't fail the class. But if it is a drawing of failure, did he also create his first time paradox here?
Image:486-CWCcatchesaPikachu.JPG|Chris approaches a wild Pikachu, aiming to bash its brains out with a rare pygmy Electrode.
Image:487-CWCMergedinArt.jpg|A clever idea. Probably his teacher's, though.
Image:488-100_0521.JPG|Something that looks like the shopping mall, but actually isn't.
Image:489-100_0522.JPG|"I wish I were in [[Inos|Jamacia]]" (sic). Deep-rooted wishes, I see.
Image:490-100_0523.JPG|Colorful arboreal antics.
Image:491-100 0524.JPG|Possibly "L" and "O". Could be a corruption of LOL.
Image:492-100 0525.JPG|Raichu, the Turbo Megazord, Sonic, Game Boy and Nintendo 64 controller.
Image:493-100 0526.JPG|See, he ''can'' draw a proportional drinking straw. [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] was ''deliberate''.
Image:494-100 0527.JPG|Indistinct shapes, possibly [[Crass and Champ|crabs]].
Image:495-100 0528.JPG|A collage of weird local imagery.
Image:496-100 0529.JPG|Daffodils, which, in Greek mythology, first came forth as a result of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. Also: Skeleton.
Image:497-100 0530.JPG|[[Christian's name change|The Bear]] keeps on truckin'.
Image:498-100 0531.JPG|[[fapcup|Jars]]. A proudly standing bottle and a tomato, casting nice round shadows.
Image:499-100 0532.JPG|Mysterious floating keyring.
Image:500-100 0533.JPG|Not sure what ''this'' is, but it looks a bit phallic.
Image:501-100 0534.JPG|Chris's Ash Ketchum get-up.
Image:503-100 0537.JPG|Pikachu, Mew, what looks like Chris's personal Pokégear stuff, and an ad for [[CWC's Pokésite 2]].
Image:504-100 0538.JPG|[[April 16 Fetish Vids|Shower]]???
Image:505-100 0539.JPG|A drawer full of what appears to be [[CWCFlyingElephants|socks]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
Image:506-100 0540.JPG|[[R.L. Stine]] books and Pokémon.
</gallery>}}

===Tracing===
'''Tracing''' is an art technique where another piece of art, in whole or part, is copied along with its outlines. As a means of producing original art claimed as one's own, tracing is a form of plagiarism.

Images traced from existing copyrighted content appear regularly in ''Sonichu''. Chris traces with the Reflecta Sketch, a long-discontinued toy tracing kit produced by Spin Master. The kit comes with a reflective piece of plastic where an original can be placed to the left and the reflection is used for tracing an outline. This is why most traced images in ''Sonichu'' are mirror images of the original work. Due to their poor quality, consistent in appearance with ''Sonichu'' art that is not traced, these traced images often go unnoticed as tracing. The fact that Chris fails even at tracing is a surprise to no one.

Alternatively, Chris uses these images as references and simply tries to draw images free-hand based on them. This is no worse than directly tracing the outlines, but better explains why his results are so distorted in respect to their references. Chris probably uses a combination of both techniques (as some images look closer to their originals than others), showing an utter lack of skill and originality either way.

The coveted art award at his high school [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|graduation]] would have lost a crap ton of prestige had it been awarded to a cheater like Chris.

{{collapsible
|Traced images from the ''Sonichu'' Comic
|<gallery>
Image:Trace1.jpg
Image:Trace2.jpg
Image:Trace3.jpg
Image:Trace4.jpg
Image:Trace5.jpg
Image:Trace6.jpg
Image:Aquateenvssonichu.jpg
Image:SAV-Swindle.jpg
Image:RClina.jpg
Image:PunislavBarrier.jpg
Image:Bumble-Lumba-Bumblebee.jpg
Image:Prowl prower.jpg
Image:SOUNDAXE.JPG
Image:CrackderISthundercracker.jpg
Image:Familyguytrace.png
Image:Cwct1.JPG
</gallery>}}

===Rule 34===
{{Honest}}
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|Chris's creations believe that his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34]] artwork is "lifelike".]]
Chris has no shame, and neither does his artwork. Of his many sexually explicit drawings, the most damning one of all is [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], which brought an end to the Megan Saga and cemented the notion that Chris was an incestuous [[pedofork]].

[[File:TingsArt1.png|thumb|left|Some sexually provacative art from [[Tings Tingz]] that Chris had actually approved of.]]

As seen in this gallery, Chris can't even copy bad porn to save his life, with Rosechu turning into a deformed monstrosity in each panel, all for the sake of [[sex]]. Especially noticeable is the final picture, which shows off a recurring trend in his pictures: the "Glowing Cunt", in which Chris draws the "[[cum]]" from the woman ''around'' and ''outside'' the vagina instead of from the inside, making it appear to glow, or inhabit heavenly clouds.

It can be reasonably assumed that all of the images in this gallery are traced, and that those not paired plagiarized source material simply have yet to have their "inspirations" discovered.

{{collapsible
|Gallery of traced Rule 34 pictures. Incredibly horrific, NSFW, and contains robo-clits. This is your last chance to escape with your sanity.
|<gallery>
Image:Chris-chan Traced.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 2.JPG
Image:chrischantraced3.jpg
Image:Chris-chan Traced 4.JPG
Image:Chris-chan Traced 5.JPG
</gallery>}}

===Tomgirl art===
Drawings Chris made since 2011. Some are NSFW.

{{collapsible
|Gallery
|<gallery>
File:MyMindIsABlank.jpg|''My Mind Is a Blank'', January 2015.
File:Pink Lemonade.jpg|''Pink Lemonade'', July 2015.
File:26 June 2016 Cole Smithey drawing.jpeg|Caricature of [[Cole Smithey]] burning his money, June 2016.
File:SLGBTQ Sonichu poster.jpeg|Chris's LGBT poster for the Sonichu series, May 2017. The S stands for straight.
File:Sonichu-Planet Dolan.jpeg|Crossover fanart of Sonichu and Planet Dolan, May 2017.
File:Miss Night Star.jpeg |''Miss Night Star'', June 2017, Chris's self-insert imagined as a [[MLP]] character. Note the redrawn Sonichu #0 cover.
File:Night Star crossover MLP.jpeg ‎|Crossover with MLP characters, June 2017.
File:Flat-chested women April 2018.jpg|Flat-chested women, April 2018.
File:Pride Month drawing June 2018.jpg|For Pride Month, June 2018.
</gallery>}}

{{collapsible
|Art for [[Catherine]], 2014
|<gallery>
File:TrollTragedy.jpeg
File:TrollTragedydetailA.jpeg|Zoomed in
File:TrollTragedydetailB.jpeg|Another zoom
File:ZappinBoobs.jpeg
File:CandC.jpeg
</gallery>}}

===Paid art===
Drawings from Chris's [[eBay]] and [[Etsy]] sales.
{{main|Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing}}
{{main|Commissions}}

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Sonichu}}

I'm Sexy For My Ivy

2022-11-18T00:00:29Z

FireLiz: /* Lyrics */

'''"I'm Sexy For My Ivy"''' is [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'s version of [[Wikipedia:Justin Timberlake|Justin Timberlake's]] "[[Wikipedia:SexyBack|SexyBack]]", and is (thankfully) the last track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''.

This is standard fare from [[Chris]], the new lyrics frequently break the rhyming scheme of the original and are sung out of time. He also inconsistently uses some of the original lines, causing much of the song to [[Random-access humor|make no sense]].

==Song==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "I'm Sexy For My Ivy"
| ytid = N-nJsMH5S3w
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Ivy|text}}
| style =
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]
| next = [[Revive Zordon]]
}}

===Lyrics===
[''sung over Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack"'']

I'm sexy for you gal 
Them other girls don't make your cut 
I think it's awesome what'cha got for me 
So turn around and fix my [[Biological clock|messed up clock]]

Sweetest Ivy 
You see these shackles Ivy - I'm your slave! 
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave 
It's just that no-one makes me feel this way

Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self!

I'm sexy for you gal 
Them other girls don't make your cut 
Come make me interest you with my [[Semen|harvest]] 
'Cos you turn me on with your sweetest little [[China|self]]

Sweetest Ivy 
You see these shackles Ivy - I'm your slave! 
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave 
It's just that no-one makes me feel this way

Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self!

I'm sexy for you gal - yeah! 
Them other girls will stay farthest away 
You girls are smart and use me so right 
Our love remains right and true and that's a fact

Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self! 
Go ahead - be your fun self! 
Go ahead - be your sweet self!

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = I'm Sexy For My Ivy cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ILOlN6bhd0w}}
| stardate = 4 [[January 2012]]
| maker = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject = I'm Sexy For My Ivy
| type = Song Cover
| info = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
}}</center>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]
[[Category:Music]]

Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark

2022-11-17T23:55:46Z

FireLiz: /* Lyrics */

'''"Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark"''' is the penultimate song on ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''. It is [[Chris]]'s tribute for [[Punchy Sonichu]] and [[Layla Flaaffy]], to the tune of [[Wikipedia:Bruce Springsteen|Bruce Springsteen]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Dancing in the Dark (Bruce Springsteen song)|Dancing in the Dark]]". Towards the end, Chris reveals that Punchy and Layla apparently like either S&M, the [[wikipedia:donkey punch|donkey punch]], or fisting. It's hard to tell, really.

==Song==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark"
| ytid = s9uhXj1GBgY
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}, {{Comics|[[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] & [[Layla Flaaffy|Layla]]}}, {{Sex|[[Chris and sex|Hitting the Bed]]}}
| style =
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[Paradise By The Seashore Light (Crass and Champ's Thang Undersea)]]
| next = [[I'm Sexy For My Ivy]]
}}
===Lyrics===

<poem>
[''sung over Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark"'']

Punchy gets up in the evening
And Punchy ain't got no-nothing to say
He comes home in the morning
He goes to bed in the same way
He ain't nothing but tired
And Punchy's just tired and bored with himself
[''yawning on this line''] It's a bad day off
He could use just a little help

Can't start a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]]
Can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
Punchy's dancing in the dark

Messages to leave her
Radio's on and Punchy's moving around the place
He checks his look in the mirror
He wants to change his clothes and hair and face
And he ain't getting nowhere
He's just living a dull life like this
But something happened from somewhere
Layla I just know we're there

Can't start a fire
Can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark

[[Chris_and_health#Exercise|They sit around getting older]]
There's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
[''unintelligible'']

Staying on the streets of CWCVille
And they'll be carving them up all night
Then they got hungry
Hey Layla I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm sick of sitting around here trying to write
I need a love reaction
Come on Layla give me just one look

Can't start a fire
Sitting around crying of a broken heart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark

Can't start a fire
Worrying about your new world falling apart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark

Even if we're just dancing in the dark
(Repeat x2)

Hey, baby!

Uuueeerrra, Layla!
Yo Layla, Punchy's in and he's checking you out, girl!
Come on let's go hit the bed. (!?)
I'll throw my best punches!
Hwah! Hwah!
</poem>

==External links==
*[https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3he0dy Dailymotion archive of the song].

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]
[[Category:Music]]

Paradise By The Seashore Light (Crass and Champ's Thang Undersea)

2022-11-17T23:48:12Z

FireLiz: /* Lyrics */

'''"Paradise By The Seashore Light (Crass and Champ's Thang Undersea)"''' is [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'s version of {{w|Meat Loaf}}'s "{{w|Paradise by the Dashboard Light}}", dedicated to [[Ivy]]'s pet [[hermit crabs]], [[User:CrassCrab|Crass]] and [[User:Champthom|Champ]]. It is the seventh track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''.

Unlike [[Chris]]'s previous work, where he wrote new lyrics, this time he just sings the original song word-for-word, adding the names of the crabs intermittently to identify them as the male and female characters in the song's story, in addition to a few minor references to the sea. Ivy said that this laziness is because "Paradise..." was one of the last songs Chris wrote and he was getting [[Chris and stress|bored]]. His inability to keep both in rhythm and in tune with the song is outstanding.

Notable variations from the Meat Loaf version are that Chris omits the entire {{w|Phil Rizzuto}} baseball section of the song, is incapable of singing the faster parts and frequently cannot distinguish between the male and female voices. ([[BlueSpike|Sound familiar?]]) He sings in a [[Autism|boring monotone]] when he realizes it's the boy's part, and a [[Tomgirl Pictures|screeching falsetto]] when he realizes it's the girl's part. Even funnier, Chris believes that Crass and Champ were male and female, respectively, even though Ivy told him that [[Homos|the two were male]].

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Paradise By The Seashore Light (Crass and Champ's Thang Undersea)"
| ytid = GVYnHAVmyDo
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}, {{Comics|[[Crass and Champ]]}}
| style =
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[Lovin' You]]
| next = [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]
}}

===Lyrics===

[''sung over Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"'']

Crass remembers every little thing 
As if it happened only yesterday 
Parking by the lake and there was another- not another coral in sight 
And [[Virgin with rage|I never had a girl]] 
Looking any better than you did 
And all the kids at school, they were wishin' they were me that night. 

And now our bodies are oh so close and tight 
Never felt so good never felt so right 
And we're glowin' like the metal on the edge of a knife 
Glowin' like the metal on the edge of a knife 
C'mon. Holdin' tighhhh- tight 
C'mon. Hold tight 

Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night 
I can see paradise by the seashore liiight 

[''in a creepy falsetto'']

Ain't no doubt about it 
We were doubly blessed 
Cause we were barely seventeen 
And we were barely dressed 

Ain't no doubt about it 
Baby got to go and shout it 
Ain't no doubt about it 
We were doubly blessed 

[''boring monotone resumes'']

Cause we were only seventeen 
And we were barely dressed 

Champ don'cha hear my heart 
You got it drowning out the waves 
Been waiting so long 
For you to come along and have some fun 

And I gotta let ya know 
No you're never gonna regret it 
So open up your eyes I got a big surprise 
It'll feel all right 
I wanna make your- oh shark! [?]

And now our bodies are oh so close and tight 
It never felt so good, it never felt so right 
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife 
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife

C'mon! Hold on tight! 
C'mon! Hold on tight! 

Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night 
I can see paradise by the seashore light 
[''mumbles'']

You got to do what you can 

[''he returns to the falsetto'']

And let Mother Nature do the rest 
Ain't no doubt about it 
We were doubly blessed 

Cause we were barely seventeen 
And we were barely-- 

We're gonna go all the way tonight 

[''returns to normal voice'']

We're gonna go all the way... 

[''loses track of song and starts mumbling'']

..tonight.. 
..all the way tonight..

[''song skips'']

[''in falsetto yet again'']

Stop right there! 
I gotta know right now! 
Before we go any further! 

Do you love me? 
Will you love me forever? 
Do you need me? 
Will you never leave me? 
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my liiife? 
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife? 

Do you love me? 
Will you love me forever? 
Do you need me? 
Will you never leave me? 
Will you make me happy the rest of my life? 
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife? 
I gotta know right now Crass! 
Before we go any further 
Do you love me? 
Will you love me forever? 

[[Image:Paradiseseashore.png|thumb|300px|right|Fanart depiction of the events of "Paradise By the Seashore Light" (based on Crass and Champ's respective [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] avatars).]]
[''monotone'']

CHAAAMP!

CHAMP!

Let me sleep on it 
Champ, Champ let me sleep on it 
And I'll derp derp derp (?) 
And I'll give you an answer in the morning 

Let me sleep on it 
Champ, Champ let me sleep on it 
Let me sleep on it 
And I'll give you an answer in the morning 

Let me sleep on it 
Chaaamp, Champ let me sleep on it 
Let me sleep on it 
And I'll give you an answer in the morniiing 

[''falsetto'']

CRASS! 
...you know right now! 
Do you love me-me? 
Will you need me forever? 
Do you need me? 
Will you never leave me? 
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? 
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife? 
I gotta know right now, Crass! 
Before we go any further 
Do you love me? 
Love me forever? 

[''monotone'']

CHAMP?

Champ?

Ch- [''mumbles in his falsetto'']

Champ?

Sleep on it 
Champ, Champ let me sleep on it 
Let me sleep on it 
And I'll give you an answer in the morning

[''falsetto'']

I GOT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW!

[''monotone'']

Let me sleep on it!

[''alternates between falsetto and monotone'']

Will you love me forever? 
Let me sleep on it! 
Will you love me forever> 
Let me sleep on it 
AND I'LL GIVE YOU AN ANSWER, CHAMP! CHAMP!

[''mumbles in a high-pitched tone to the words'']

.. love mee 
Love me forever? 
...sleep on it 
...love me forever? 
Let me sleep on it! 
Will you love me forever?

Let me sleep- [''mumbles''] 
And when the feeling came upon me 
Like a tidal wave 
I started swearing to my God and on my mother's grave 
That I would love you to the end of time 
I swore that then end- I would love you to the end of time!

So now I'm praying for the end of time 
To hurry up and arrive 
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you 
I don't think that I can really survive

I'll never break a promise or forget my vow 
But God only knows what I can do right now 
I'm praying for the end of time 
It's all that I can do 
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you... Champ!

[''mumbles in a low tone, then switches to a high tone. Sounds like he's saying "beep beep beep!"'']

[''falsetto'']

...edge of a knife 
Glowing like a metal on the edge of a [[knife]] (x5) 
Glowing like a metal on... [''mumbles''] 
...edge of a knife 
...edge of a knife 

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]
[[Category:Music]]

Feel Our Love At Play

2022-11-17T23:10:01Z

FireLiz: /* Lyrics */

'''"Feel Our Love At Play"''' is [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'s version of [[Wikipedia:Berlin (band)|Berlin]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Take My Breath Away|Take My Breath Away]]" (a.k.a the romantic theme from ''Top Gun''), from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''. The song is about how love is no more than a "game" to be "played."

While singing, Chris makes three false starts, indicating that he has no sense of timing. He apparently doesn't care if he messes up and looks like more of an idiot to [[Ivy]].
==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Feel Our Love At Play"
| ytid = O1NOmkSHE10
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Ivy|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
| style =
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[CWC Like a Virgin]]
| next = [[I Gotta Make My Move]]
}}
===Lyrics===

[''sung over Berlin's "Take My Breath Away"'']

Watching every motion in our sweetest true love games 
On this great long planet 
You and me we [[Honest Content|know no shame]]

Turning and entering our sacred share of places inside 
[''starts before original''] Feelin' in- Feeling in slow motion [[creepy stare|as we look into our eyes]] and 
Feel our love at play 
[''starts before original again''] Feel our love - Feel our love at play

Watching I keep foi-eeling our mutual feels 
Never hesitating to reveal what's inside

Turning and entering our sacred share of place inside 
Feeling in slow motion as we look in our eyes and 
Feel our love at play

Forty hours last I saw you 
In time you saayyyyaid 
I prayed to [[Chris and religion|our God and Lord]] I thank Him every day 
Around and always I'm am unafraid

Feel our love at play 
[''starts before original AGAIN''] Feel our love- Feel our love at play

Watching every motion in our sweetest true love games 
Withheld by the notions of our sacred feelings of shame

Turning and entering our sacred share of place inside 
Feeling in slow motion as we look in our eyes and 
Feel our love at play 
[''mumble''] Our love! 
Feel our love at play 
[''trying to cover up original's humming''] Our love at play... 
Feel our love at play 
Feel our love at play

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Feel Our Love At Play cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-Na7OYCTBQg}}
| stardate = 4 [[January 2012]]
| maker = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject = Feel Our Love At Play
| type = Song Cover
| info = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
}}</center>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]
[[Category:Music]]

CWC Like a Virgin

2022-11-17T23:03:34Z

FireLiz: i don't think these are needed

"'''CWC Like a Virgin'''" is [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'s cover (in the loosest sense of the word) of {{w|Madonna (entertainer)|Madonna}}'s "{{w|Like a Virgin (song)|Like a Virgin}}". It is the second track off of ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''. the song can also be heard [https://www.mixcloud.com/MixesByOtherDJs/christian-the-hedgehog-boys-christian-the-hedgehog-boys-comeback/ here] along with every other song on the album.

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "CWC Like a Virgin"
| video = {{#ev:archiveorg|christian-and-the-hedgehog-boys-comeback-track-2-cwc-like-avirgin-lu-y-38-btd-c-7s}}
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Ivy|text}}
| style =
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]
| next = [[Feel Our Love At Play]]
}}
===Lyrics===
[''sung over a live and/or knockoff version of(?) Madonna's "Like a Virgin"'']

I made it through the wilderness
 I made it through
 
 Didn't know how lost I was
 Until I found you
 
 I was beat incomplete
 [[BlueSpike|I'd been had]], [[CWC is sad|I was sad and blue]]
 But you made me feel
 Yeah, but you made me feel
 Shiny and new
 
 Like a virgin
 [[Virgin with rage|Touched for the very first time]]
 Like a virgin
 When your heart beats
 With your heart beat next to mine
 
 Gonna give you all my love girl
 My [[Noviophobia|fear]] is fading fast
 Been saving it all for you
 Because only love can last
 
 You're so fine and you're mine
 Make me strong, yeah you make me bold
 Oh your love thawed out
 Yeah, your love thawed out
 What was scared and cold
 
 Like a virgin
 Touched for the very first time
 Like a virgin
 With your heart beat, next to mine
 
 Ooohoooh oooh ooh
 Ohh oh oh ohhhhhh
 Oh oh oh ohhhhh
 
 Like a virgin
 Touched for the very first time
 Like a virgin
 With your heart beat next to mine
 
 Woahah ohhh oh ohhhhh
 Woahah ohhh oh ohhhhh
 Woahah ohhh oh ohhhhh
 
 [[Homos|Feels so good inside]]
 ''(Muffled from CWC wussing out from karaoke at this point)''
 And you touch me
 When you hold me
 Feel so strong inside
 
 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ''(Note: Chris doesn't sing this, but it's left at the end)''

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]
[[Category:Music]]

(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise

2022-11-17T22:57:19Z

FireLiz:

[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|C-Chan up in dis mothafucka.]]
[[Image:ECP 00025.jpg|thumb|Even my mama thinks that my mind is gone!]]

"'''(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise'''" is [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'s version of {{w|Coolio}}'s "{{w|Gangsta's Paradise}}," featured in their second album, ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''. The song deals with [[Chris]]'s struggle against [[Clyde Cash]] from Clyde's point of view.

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise"
| ytid = t-uY2QpW51I
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{smug|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]]
| next = [[CWC Like a Virgin]]
}}

===Lyrics===
[''sung over Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"'']

As I walk through the valley of wallow and dark shame 
I take a look at my life and I realize there's nothing here 
Cuz I've been blastin' and laughin' so long, that 
Even my [[Barbara Chandler|mama]] thinks that my [[Chris and psychology|mind is gone]]

But I ain't never left my [[computer]], dog gone it 
Me be [[Kick the Autistic|treated like a punk]], I take it out on that guy 
[[Chris and hypocrisy|I have too much stress and free time, I can't enjoy it]] 
I am a [[Chris and stress|stressed]] homeboy imprisoned in lulz

A cheap laugh on that guy's lone expense 
As they croak I see myself worse off than that fool 
I'm the kinda 'G' no one gives a cryin' dime to care 
On my knees in the night ''(sped up)'' 
Saying prayers in the LCD light

We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We been spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise

Look at the situation, they got me facin' 
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the street 
So I gotta lay it down as [[Clyde Cash|Clyde No-cash]] 
Too much [[Internet]] surfin' got me tauntin' dreams

I'm an stupid 'lil fool with [[Kimmi|fake sex]] on my mind 
Got my mouse in my hand and a [[Semen|soda]]-stained keyboard 
I'm [[Financhu Crisis|locked in]] [[Punchy|ninja]] ding dang ganger 
I keep my homies not here, so I'm a lonely dope, G 

[[Bob|...eath ai-ain't nothing but a heartbeat away]] 
I'm livin' life, yo, do or die, what can I say? 
I'm [[BlueSpike|thirteen]] now, but will I live to see any-moe? 
The way things are going I don't know

...me why are why are so blind to see that the ones we hurt are you and me 
The... things... we... see... ''(catches up)'' ...hurt are you and me?

We... we...

W-w-we b-been spending most of our lives 
Living in a gang-trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise

[[Power]] and no [[money]], money and no power 
Minute after minute, hour after hour 
Everybody's typing, but half of them ain't carin' 
... [[Bob Walks In|It's goin' on in the kitchen]], but I don't know what's hangin'

They gotta learn lame words, learnin' to teach me 
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me 
I guess they can't, I guess they won't 
I guess I front, that's why I know my life is not well spent, G

We been spending most of our lives 
Living in the trollsta's paradise 
We been spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise

Tell me why are we, so blind to see, that the ones we hurt 
Are you and me? ''(pause)'' Tell me why! We are we! 
So blind to see! The ones we hurt! Are you and me! ''(pause)'' 
''(catches up)'' ...we hurt are you and me?

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = (Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise cover
| ytid = 3dSqTxqMlrE
| stardate = 13 [[February 2015]]
| maker = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject = (Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise
| type = Song Cover
| info = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]] (Deluxe Edition).
}}</center>

<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Trollsta's Paradise
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Wpny7PhDd6Y}}
| stardate = 18 [[February 2019]]
| maker = Smoky Chris
| subject = (Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise
| type = Song Cover
}}</center>

==Link to Download==
*[https://archive.org/details/christianandthehedgehogboyscomeback/Christian+and+the+Hedgehog+Boys+COMEBACK!+-+Track+1+-+(Clyde's)+Trollsta's+Paradise.mp4 Archive]

==See also==
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)]] - The first trailer for this film prominently uses the original version of this song, "Gangsta's Paradise".
*[https://genius.com/17955535 Trollstas paradise] - The [[Honor roll|Genius]] lyrics page for the song.

{{ClydeCashSaga}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Clyde's Trollsta's Paradise}}
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]
[[Category:Music]]

Feel So Lonesome

2022-11-17T02:38:25Z

FireLiz: /* Lyrics */

'''"Feel So Lonesome"''' is the seventh track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'', sung to the tune of [[Britney Spears]]'s "[[Wikipedia:(You Drive Me) Crazy|(You Drive Me) Crazy]]."

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Feel So Lonesome" (begins at 7:24)
| ytid = j-ACMU8juHc
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Tragedy|[[Saddest Heart in the World|Loneliness]]}}
| style =
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]
| next = [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]]
}}

===Lyrics===
[''sung over Britney Spears's "(You Drive Me) Crazy"'']

Lonesome

Aw man, I want a [[boyfriend-free girl|cute gal]] 
But if anyone I have no [[Sonichu Balls|ball]] 
Aw man, I've tried a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] 
But no girl reads it, [[Chris and health|am I not fine]]?

Every girl who don't look at me 
[[Noviophobia|They already have one]], it's easy to see

I feel so lonesome, [[homos|I can't think straight]] 
To get a cute girl depends on fate 
Oh lonesome, and it feels depressing 
No matter how much I fail I keep trying

Tell me, don't I have the charm? 
If no girl comes, [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|I'll break my arm]] 
Tell me, aren't I handsome? 
[[ShecameforCWC.JPG|What do I have to do to make one come?]]

I want a girl so bad 
Not knowing what it is, I need it bad

I feel so lonesome, I can't think straight 
To get a cute girl depends on fate 
Oh lonesome, and it feels depressing 
No matter how much I fail I keep trying

I feel so lonesome 

Ohhh man

STOP!

I can't think straight 
To [[So Need a Cute Girl|get a cute girl]] depends on fate 
It feels depressing 
No matter how much I fail I keep trying 

I feel so lonesome, I can't think straight 
To get a cute girl depends on fate 
Oh lonesome, and it feels depressing 
No matter how much I fail I keep trying 

Lonesome 

Lonesome 

I feel so lonesome, and it feels depressing 
No matter how much I fail I keep trying 

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Music]]

Yellow Is a Mellow Color

2022-11-17T02:32:51Z

FireLiz: /* Lyrics */

'''"Yellow Is a Mellow Color"''' is the sixth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. This song is an example of Chris's [[Things Chris has ripped off|originality]], as the music is ripped off from {{w|Los del Río}}'s "{{w|Macarena (song)|Macarena}}", and the title is ripped off from {{w|Donovan}}'s "{{w|Mellow Yellow}}". It's one of his best-known songs because it was up for download on his [[MySpace]] profile and [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]].

Based on a November 2007 [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|ED edit]] in which Chris furnishes "Yellow Is a Mellow Color" as an example of his "[[random-access humor]]", it is suggested that the song is intended to be humorous, but to [[Christian Weston Chandler|whom]], GodBear only knows.

It seems to be a favorite of Chris's, as he played it several times during the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]].

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Yellow Is a Mellow Color"
| ytid = 0Rk4HLL0ZVo
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| next = [[Feel So Lonesome]]
}}

===Lyrics===

[''sung over {{w|Los del Río}}'s "{{w|Macarena (song)|Macarena}}"'']

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes, it is, it's a mellow color 
[[Sonichu]] zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color, [[Slow-in-the-minds|ahh!]]

Feeling condensation 
[?] Living in [[CWCville|my nation]] 
Lemon makes lemonade 
Hey! Mellow color

Traveling without a map 
Is like traveling with no map 
[[Yawning Squirtle|Take a chill pill and dance]] 
Yellow is a mellow color

[''indecipherable''] ...mellow 
Hopefully they won't make him play a cello 
Somehow for Sonichu and friends 
Will zip and zap!

This [[Niggo|little monkey]], he likes to play around 
He eats a bunch of [[Pickles|bananas]] 
Never put a banana in your pajamas 
Yellow is a mellow color

Yellow is a mellow color 
Yes, it is, it's a mellow color 
Sonichu zaps the lightning 
Hey! Mellow color 
''(repeat 2 more times)''

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Yellow is a Mellow Color, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XLZ5q6GazUQ}}
| stardate = 4 [[January 2012]]
| maker = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject = Yellow is a Mellow Color
| type = Song Cover
| info = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
}}</center>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Music]]

La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova

2022-11-17T02:29:42Z

FireLiz:

"'''La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova'''" ("[[Chris's kitchen|The kitchen]] in [[Love Quest|Casanova]]'s house") is the fifth track from ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. It is sung over "La copa de la vida", the Spanish version of Ricky Martin's "[[Fapcup|The Cup of Life]]."

More than anything else, this song demonstrates Chris's ''total mastery'' of [[Spanish]], as well as the ability to count to three in French.

It should also be noted that the real-life [[Wikipedia:Giacomo Casanova|Giacomo Casanova]] was Venetian, not Spanish; Chris probably mistook him for Spanish because his name resembles ''casa nueva'', Spanish for "new house."

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova"
| ytid = vk0XHBYR6DM
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Other|[[Spanish]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]
| next = [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]
}}

===Lyrics===

[''sung over [[Homos|Ricky Martin's]] "''[[Wikipedia:The Cup of Life (Ricky Martin song)|La Copa de La Vida]]''"'']

¡Casanova! 
¡Casanova! 
¡Casanova! 

¡Estamos en la cocina! 
¡En la casa de Casanova! 
¡Estamos divertido, sí! 
¡Bailamos con la música! 

¡Hay muchas chicas y niñas aquí 
En la casa! 

¡Casanova está muy feliz 
Porque está hacienda cosas calientes! 

¡Hace calor! ¡Hace calor! 
¡Casanova! 

Here we go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Esta noche… 
Esta noche será 
Diversión! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Uno, dos, tres! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 
Un, deux, trois! 
¡Olé, olé olé! 

Because he 
Is Casanova! 
Go, go, go! 
¡Olé, olé, olé! 

¡Olé, olé! (¡Olé, olé!) [repeat to end] 

¡Casanova!

===Translation===

Casanova! 
Casanova! 
Casanova! 

We're in the kitchen! 
In Casanova's house! 
We’re having fun, yes! 
We’re dancing with the music! 

[[Pedofork|There are lots of girls and (younger) girls here]] 
In the house! 

Casanova is very happy 
[[Chris and sex|Because he's doing hot things!]] 

It's hot! It's hot! 
Casanova! 

Here we go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 
Go, go, go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

This night… 
This night will be 
Fun! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

One, two, three! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 
''Un, deux, trois!'' 
''¡Olé, olé olé!'' 

Because he 
Is Casanova! 
Go, go, go! 
''¡Olé, olé, olé!'' 

''¡Olé, olé!'' (''¡Olé, olé!'') [repeat to end] 

Casanova!

==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yH2RcOBIUbc}}
| stardate = 13 [[February 2015]]
| maker = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject = La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova
| type = Song Cover
| info = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]] (Deluxe Edition).
}}</center>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Music]]

BFF's (Best Friends Forever)

2022-11-17T02:24:24Z

FireLiz: correcting lyrics

"'''BFF's (Best Friends Forever)'''" is the fourth track off the ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'' album. It is sung over "If Only Tears Could Bring You Back" by Midnight Sons, an obscure Norwegian pop group known mostly for contributing said song to the ''[[Pokémon]]: The First Movie'' soundtrack.

The girl of whom Chris speaks appears to be [[Sarah Hammer]], while her boyfriend is probably [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>While no names are mentioned in the song, the girl Chris is singing about shares many parallels with Sarah Hammer. In [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] we are told that she too knew Chris from a young age and that despite his wishes, she spent little time with him during her adult years. Likewise, Iseli is depicted in Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares as [[Black Sonichu]].</ref> The lyrics are quite passive-aggressive (''Are you too busy to hang / With an old friend / That's been with you forever?''), with Chris trying to spin Sarah's friendship with him as one in which she genuinely enjoyed his company, and didn't just play with him only out of a sense of duty or pity.

==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "BFF's (Best Friends Forever)"
| ytid = wAJdgRWdy3M
| stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Sarah Hammer]]}}, {{Tragedy|[[Saddest Heart in the World|Loneliness]]}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
| next = [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
}}
===Lyrics===
[''sung over Midnight Sons' "If Only Tears Could Bring You Back"'']
<poem>
It took me a while
But I have realized that you
Are the one that can
[[China|Soothe my loneliness]]

Is it too late?
Are you too busy to hang
With an old friend
That's been with you forever?

What would I do?
I [[Feel So Lonesome|feel very lonesome]] without you
You are my best friend

I can never seem to find you
If only I could keep up with you
How far I would run, what I would do if you
Went with me for a thing
Sometime, somewhere
'Cause from birth to now we are
BFFs

You hang out with your
New friends you made and
Your boyfriend who acts
As a [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]

It is your choice to
Go with them instead of me
Soon you'll realize that
You're not complete because

I am not there
To share your joy as we did long ago
Old friend

I can never seem to find you
If only I could keep up with you
How far I would run, what I would do if you
Went with me for [[Sex|a thing]]
Sometime, somewhere
'Cause from birth to now we are
BFFs

If you were there to
Help guide our lives
I only wish that we could shine it up again
'Cause I have no one else
To shine it up again
Best friend

I can never seem to find you
If only I could keep up with you
How far I would run, what I would do if you
Went with me for a thing
Sometime, somewhere
'Cause from birth to now we are
BFFs
</poem>

==Notes==
<references/>

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Music]]

Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!

2022-11-17T00:48:08Z

FireLiz: /* External links */

[[Image:CWCHedgehogBoysCOMEBACKfront.jpg|thumb|right|A [[stress|long-awaited]] comeback album! Yay! ...wait a minute, this is only the ''second'' album?]]

'''''Christian & the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!''''' is the second album by [[Chris]]'s awful [[music]]al project, [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]. It was released in [[2009]].

==Background==
After a four-year hiatus and buoyed by his new "relationship" with "[[Ivy]]", Christian & the Hedgehog Boys reunited to produce another album, and subject the world to yet more of Chris mumbling over various songs. His tastes appear to have expanded slightly: the first album consisted almost entirely of pop music from the late [[1990s]], but ''COMEBACK!'' branches out into genres such as rap, rock, disco, art pop, and R&B from the 1970s to today.

Notable also is the replacement of [[Wild Sonichu]] for [[Sonic]] on bass and [[Punchy Sonichu]] for [[Shadow]] on drums. While one would assume that Chris forgot that they were in the band, a true C&HB fan knows that Sonic left the band due to [[Chris and art|artistic]] differences, and is now pursuing a solo country music career, while [[Shadow]] died of a cocaine overdose. Also depicted is [[Layla|Layla Flaaffy]]; it was later revealed in the [[Ivy Q&A]] that Chris intended her to be the band's stage manager.

Because the album material was leaked by [[trolls]] rather than officially released, Christian does not consider it to be a [[TRUE and HONEST]] part of the Hedgehog Boys canon, as he revealed in a [[Mailbag]] correspondence with {{w|Paul McCartney}} in 2009<ref>[[Mailbag 14#He's a real Nowhere Man|Mailbag 14]]</ref>. His apparent plan to eventually give his two CDs an official release as paid merchandise never got off the ground, likely due to [[stress]] (as well as [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]).

==Tracks==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!
! Title
! Based on
!Subject
|-
| 1
| "[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]"
| {{w|Coolio}} — "{{w|Gangsta's Paradise}}"
| {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Clyde|text}}
|-
| 2
| "[[CWC Like a Virgin]]"
| {{w|Madonna (entertainer)|Madonna}} — "{{w|Like a Virgin (song)|Like a Virgin}}"
| {{Ivy|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
|-
| 3
| "[[Feel Our Love At Play]]"
| {{w|Berlin (band)|Berlin}} — "{{w|Take My Breath Away}}"
| {{Ivy|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
|-
| 4
| "[[I Gotta Make My Move]]"
| {{w|Rod Stewart}} — "{{w|Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?}}"
| {{Ivy|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
|-
| 5
| "[[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]"
| {{w|Kate Bush}} — "{{w|Wuthering Heights (song)|Wuthering Heights}}"
| {{Ivy|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
|-
| 6
| "[[Lovin' You]]"
| {{w|Minnie Riperton}} — "{{w|Lovin' You}}"
| {{Ivy|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
|-
| 7
| "[[Paradise By The Seashore Light (Crass and Champ's Thang Undersea)]]"
| {{w|Meat Loaf}} — "{{w|Paradise by the Dashboard Light}}"
| {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}, {{Comics|[[Crass and Champ|Crustaceans]]}}
|-
| 8
| "[[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]]"
| {{w|Bruce Springsteen}} — "{{w|Dancing in the Dark (Bruce Springsteen song)|Dancing in the Dark}}"
| {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}, {{Comics|[[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] & [[Layla Flaaffy|Layla]]}}, {{Sex|text}}
|-
| 9
| "[[I'm Sexy For My Ivy]]"
| {{w|Justin Timberlake}} — "{{w|SexyBack}}"
| {{Sex|text}}, {{Ivy|text}}
|}

==Reception and legacy==
[[Image:Comeback.png|thumb|right|On that very day, all you would see is this. ''Truly'' amazing.]]
While critics applauded [[Chris]] for upgrading the quality of the [[Chris and music|music]] he shouts over from shithouse to slightly less shithouse, the album was an absolute bust, even in [[Molvanîa]] where Chris is lauded as a national pop icon.

Critics were also quick to notice how the audio quality on the album is ''even worse'' than on the last.

Fans of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s mastery of the Sit 'n Spin were disappointed to hear Wild being forced to play the inferior [[Gitar of Fail|guitar]], which may have affected the quality of his musical contributions. Fans also claimed that [[Punchy Sonichu]] could not live up to the legacy of Shadow the Hedgehog.

Despite this, retrospective appraisals have been more positive, and on COMEBACK!'s tenth anniversary, [[4chan]] users celebrated by spamming [https://pastebin.com/eKNmUN7a a copypasta] all over the Music board (/mu/). A reading of it can be found [https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/561485905781587970/565860951795040257/croatian_guy_reads_out_shitposts.mp3 here].

==ORIGINAL LYRICS==
'''DO NOT STEAL'''
<gallery>
Image:TrollstasParadise1.jpg|"Trollsta's Paradise"
Image:TrollstasParadise2.jpg
Image:FeelOurLoveAtPlay.jpg|"Feel Our Love At Play"
Image:IGottaMakeMyMove1.jpg|"I Gotta Make My Move"
Image:IGottaMakeMyMove2.jpg
Image:IllNeverLeaveYouIvy.jpg|"I'll Never Leave You, Ivy"
Image:PunchyandLaylasDanceInTheDark.jpg|"Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark"
Image:SexyForMyIvy1.jpg|"I'm Sexy For My Ivy"
Image:SexyForMyIvy2.jpg
</gallery>

== References ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://mega.co.nz/#!lVgnFCQQ!nrpH0QQr_S6sH2s8_unQLO8q6muwAjxGpdZz1YV-sRM Download the album] (Working link as of 2022)
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]
[[Category:Music]]

Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)

2022-11-17T00:47:03Z

FireLiz: /* Links */

[[Image:057-CWCHedgeBoysv2.jpg|right|thumb||Move over, Brockhampton. Here's the TRUE and HONEST first internet boy band.]]

'''''Christian & the Hedgehog Boys''''' is the eponymous debut album of [[Chris]]'s terrible music project [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|of the same name]], recorded on a tape recorder in August [[2003]]. For 21 minutes and 26 seconds, you can take a thrilling journey from the depths of lonely despair to the exciting joys of zapping to the extreme. Get your copy today!

==Release==
[[Image:056-CWCHedgeBoys1.jpg|thumb|right|A cruder unreleased version of the album cover.]]
[[Image:CWCHedgeBoysLable.jpg|thumb|The CD label.]]

Due to lack of promotion, monotone vocals, poor audio quality and the fact that you can hear the tracks he is singing over, the album failed to chart in most countries (although it was unnervingly popular in [[Molvanîa]]).

==Video clips==
A promo clip was recorded for the album, in the form of "[[All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend]]."

==Tracklist==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!
! Title
! Based on
!Subject
|-
| 1
| "[[So Need a Cute Girl]]"
| {{w|Backstreet Boys}} — "{{w|I Want It That Way}}"
| {{Sex|text}}, {{Rage|[[Virgin with Rage]]}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Tragedy|[[Noviophobia]]}}
|-
| 2
| "[[Sonichu Zip]]"
| {{w|Hironobu Kageyama}} and {{w|Hideaki Takatori}} — "{{w|Sonic X#Japan|SONIC DRIVE}}"
| {{Comics|[[Sonichu]]}}
|-
| 3
| "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]"
| Backstreet Boys — "{{w|Larger Than Life (song)|Larger Than Life}}"
| {{Autism|text}}, {{Homos|[[Rainbow|A rainbow]]}}, {{Tragedy|[[Saddest Heart in the World|Loneliness]]}}
|-
| 4
| "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]"
| Midnight Sons — "{{w|Pokémon: The First Movie (soundtrack)|If Only Tears Could Bring You Back}}"
| {{Galpals|[[Sarah Hammer]]}}, {{Tragedy|[[Saddest Heart in the World|Loneliness]]}}
|-
| 5
| "[[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]"
| {{w|Ricky Martin}} — "{{w|The Cup of Life (Ricky Martin song)|La Copa de la Vida}}"
| {{Sex|text}}, {{Other|[[Spanish]]}}
|-
| 6
| "[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]"
| {{w|Los del Río}} — "{{w|Macarena (song)|Macarena}}"
| {{Comedy|text}}, {{Comics|[[Sonichu]]}}
|-
| 7
| "[[Feel So Lonesome]]"
| [[Britney Spears]] — "{{w|(You Drive Me) Crazy}}"
| {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Tragedy|[[Saddest Heart in the World|Loneliness]]}}
|-
| 8
| "[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]]"
| {{w|Crush 40|Sons of Angels}} — "{{w|Thrill of the Feel|Open Your Heart}}"
| {{Music|text}}
|}

==Follow-up==
Due to the relative failure of the album, many in the music industry were surprised when Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (minus founding members [[Sonic]] and Shadow) reappeared six years later with ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''.

==Links==
* [http://mega.co.nz/#!1NYD1BpT!4Q4dWp7ZU-qoShcMGuWvDKUSo8wb-DHnUvwLm87Na9k Download the album] (working link as of 2022)
* [http://www.last.fm/music/Christian+Weston+Chandler Chris's last.fm page]
* [https://christianandthehedgehogboys.bandcamp.com/ Bandcamp page]

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Music]]

July 2016 Paid Video Requests

2022-11-08T13:30:20Z

FireLiz: fixing video embed

On 18 July 2016, Chris announced that he would be offering video messages for sale, for $50 each, arranged through texting instead of his defunct Etsy shop. On 26 July, he changed his pricing, saying "it starts at $50, but I'm negotiable to as low as $10, and no less." [[Weens]] flooded him with requests, essentially giving him money for nothing and making him even more [[Ego|entitled]].

Two videos had (unintentionally) funny results. In '''Singing "Yellow Submarine"''', Chris drops the camera for a moment, revealing an upskirt shot and showing him wearing a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pantiliner]]<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/updated-7-22-chris-paid-content-general.22728/page-25#post-1620669</ref>. After Chris uploaded '''Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies''', YouTube deleted it and issued a strike against his account. Chris [https://kiwifar.ms/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-07-23-12-51-22-png.118280/ reacted to the fallout from both the following day on Facebook].

Following the strike, which barred him from uploading videos to his CwcvilleGuardian YouTube account for two weeks, Chris continued the video request program by uploading to an [https://gaming.youtube.com/channel/UCN4fi8RjeYVVRbeavxeXffw an alternate account], then returning to his main account after the ban expired.

Fans continued buying [[:Category:Business|more video requests]] throughout 2016, although the number of public videos gradually diminished.

==Josh Lover of men==
'''Josh Lover of men''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 20 July 2016, as part of his video request program. In this video, Chris reads out a paragraph written by a [[homo]] named Josh about how much of a [[ween|crazy fucking idiot he is for paying $50 to Chris for this video]]. Chris was hopelessly [[Autism|unable to detect the sarcasm]] praising his exemplary life and achievements. In fact, Josh's admiration was so obviously masturbatory, it's reasonable to assume Chris would have understood it as mockery if not for his inexhaustible sense of [[Chris and his Ego|self-importance]]

{{Infobox/video
| name = Josh Lover of men
| ytid = qTjvP_EXKlo
| stardate = 20 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[Update_20160718]]
| next = [[Announcement 07202016]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| And now by paid request...
}}

===Transcript===
[''[[PlayStation 4|PS4]] intro'']

Hello [[Speech impediment|'vbody]], this is [[Tomgirl|Christine]] Chandler, and, uh, the following is from... this guy Joshua's own words, this is a paid request. And the title is right here underneath, "Josh, Lover of Men". So, yeah. [''reading from iPhone''] "[[Homos|Homosexual]] known as Josh has [[Financhu Crisis|paid me $50]] [[United States]] currency to make this video. He is truly a [[Ween|crazy fucking idiot]] for doing so." His words, not mine. He wanted me to tell his [[Gal pal|friend]] Nicole that "she is an attractive slut and that he [[Speech Impediment|abbire]] her - he admires her greatly and appreciates her filthy whore face. Happy early birthday, you magnificent piece of human [[14 Branchland Court|garbage]]. You are such trash and we all love you a lot."

On a more serious note, Josh also [[Speech impediment|wanned]] me to remind you that, hmmm, [''reading''] "[[White knight|I, Christine, am now and have always been a worthwhile human being that deserves a great amount of respect]], and... all [''unintelligible''] and... gratitude for... over the years of [[Chris and art|creativity and effort]] I have poured forth, for all the [[Chris and anger|genuine love and care]] I have trust onto you, not just for [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] and all related [[Chris and copyright|original intellectual properties]], but also for the care I have put into my [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fanbase]] and all those loyal to my [[Love Quest|righteous cause]]. Please take a moment out of each day to think about the tremendous good I have done for you, and others, and what you could do to give back. Be the hero that you feel inside. Be the Sonichu dat's in your [[Heart level|heart]]. And go fast. Go... to PayPal, and buy a personalized video just like Josh did. Much love," Josh assed... me to bid you a fond farewell, "and may [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|lightning hedgehogs]] guide you to a path o' happiness".

Well, Nicole, at least he appreciates you. And, yeah, [[Chris and his Ego|I agree with him on everything about me]], so... thank you, Joshua. [[List of Chris's lies|I don't like very much calling other people... such negative things]], 'cause they're still people, after all, but... let's just leave it at that.

[''PS4 outro'']

==Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter==
As the second of his paid request videos to raise money during the [[Financhu Crisis]], Chris read a famous internet meme "copypasta" about an individual who "sexually identifies as an attack helicopter". The resulting video was '''Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter'''. At the end, Chris exaggeratedly shook his head to let his [[Trolls|fanbase]] know he wasn't associated with the literary masterpiece he just read.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fof0BM28TUY}}
| stardate = 20 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[Announcement 07202016]]
| next = [[Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Nathan.|Happy Birthday, Nathan.]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| And now by paid request...

via YouTube capture
}}

===Transcript===
Hello everybody, here's another paid request, their words, not mine, it's a... little piece of literature this person liked. Alright, so... [''reading energetically''] "I [[Tomgirl|sexually identify]] as an at''tack'' helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the [[Speech impediment|offields]], dropping... [[Semen|hot, sticky loads]] on [[Chris and race|disgusting foreigners]]. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is impossible, and I'm... [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]], but I don't ''care''. I'm beautiful." Mmph. [''suddenly monotone, confused''] "I'm having a... plastic surgeon install [[Speech impediment|rolly]] blades, thirty-millimeter... cannons, and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body, [''high pitched''] and from now on, I want you guys to call me ''ApaCHEEE'' and respect my rights to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me, you're a... heliphobe... and you need to check your vehicle [[Speech impediment|priviges]]. Thank you for being so understanding."

Wow, that's [[Chris and psychology|crazy]], that's jus'... I feel like... it's weird. [''Chris makes a strange sound, seemingly blowing a very short raspberry''] Whatever.

[''He shakes his head rapidly while [[Chris and cinematography|wobbling the camera]]'']

Alright, well there you go. Paid request. Have a good day.

==Happy Birthday, Nathan.==

Chris begins this video with an appearance of feigned astonishment. His eyes continually dart around the room as he attempts to briefly carry a tune.

Appearance-wise, Chris can only be described as extraordinarily hideous (more so than usual). Chris unsuccessfully returns to wearing blue eye-shadow, painting copious amounts of overarching makeup around his eyes, resulting in a garish visage similar to that of a washed-up drag queen. We also see a return of the yellow-flower barrette.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday, Nathan.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|CYjULlAjQ3E}}
| stardate = 21 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter|Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter]]
| next = [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare|Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| And now, another paid request...

via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
Hello Nathan, this is Christine Chandler. A friend of yours paid me to send you a birthday greeting—so here you go.

''[Starts singing]''

Happy Birthday, Nathan. 
Have yourself a good day. 
Enjoy some cake and presents too. 
Happy Birthday to you. 

''[Briefly pauses, opening mouth to speak but instead transitions into a smile]''

Have a good day.

==Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare==
The copypasta Chris was paid to read this time, the "Navy Seal Copypasta" (or [[Wikipedia:Guerrilla warfare|"Gorilla Warfare"]]), is notably heavy on [[Chris and English#Chris and profanity|profanity]]. Presumably to the disappointment of the requester, Chris neglected to read all but one of the curses used. Most were simply deleted, resulting in awkward pauses and seemingly nonsensical sentences, though a few were replaced with milder words or strange sound effects.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8_KAd19UGs0}}
| stardate = 21 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Nathan.|Happy Birthday, Nathan.]]
| next = [[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"|Singing "Yellow Submarine"]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| And now, another paid request...

via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
And now, another special recording request, paid, copypasta, their words not mine, called "Gorilla Warfare". What the- did you- just say about me, you little ''bloof''? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy SEALs! And I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills! I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top of- the top sniper in the entire [[United States of America|U.S.]] armed forces. You're nothing to me! You're just another target! I'll wipe the- out with precision... the likes of which you have- has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my... words. You think you'll get away with saying that... to me into- to me over the internet? Think again! As we speak I'm contacting my secret network of spies across the U.S., and your IP is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the storm, maggot, the storm that wipes out the... [[Duck|pathetic little thing]] you call your life. You're... dead, kid! [''[[It's UGH!|strange growling voice]]''] I can be anywhere, at any time. I can kill you in over 700 ways, and that's just with my bare haaands! [''normal voice''] Not only am I extensive trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corp [''sic''], [''high pitched''] and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little! [''normal voice''] If only you could have known the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|unholy reb- retribution]] your little "clever" comment ''was'' about to bring upon you, maybe you w'ave held your- tongue. But you couldn't, c- you didn't... and now you're paying the price, you god-dang idiot! I will... fury out over you and you will drown in it! You're dead, kiddo.

Yep, [''rolls eyes''] there's another paid creepypasta [''sic''], which I just read. [''claps down phone, [[Creepy stare|stares into camera]]''] Eh, whatever. Have a good day.

==Singing "Yellow Submarine"==
Unlike the other paid requests, Chris seemed genuinely excited to record this cover of a Beatles song, as indicated in the description. He even added a bizarre improvised portion at the end of the video, presumably as [[random-access humor]].

This video is notable for exhibiting an unintentional glance of Chris's crotch, revealing that he is wearing a [[Self-inflicted taint wound|pantiliner]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Singing "Yellow Submarine"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|o_-DFejUbDk}}
| stardate = 22 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|[[Random-access humor|Unintentional Comedy]]}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{(Clopper)|text}}
| previous = [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare|Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare]]
| next = [[Paid Video Requests#Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies|Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| With pleasure, and by paid request,

via YouTube Capture
}}

After receiving a barrage of scornful conjectures regarding the accidental exposure of his crotch, Chris updated the video description:
{{quotebox| **In the Accidental crotch shot, I was wearing Panties, a Pantiliner and Pantyhose. OMG!
}}

===Transcript===
{{collapsible
|A long transcript of Chris mostly singing|

Hello, Christine Chandler, coming to you live again, and now by special, paid, request.

[''Chris freezes for several seconds as he holds the [[Chris and music#Recording tech|stereo system]] remote. He finally presses play, and The Beatles' "Yellow Submarine" begins playing. As he begins singing, the camera turns down to look at his K'Nex Yellow Submarine model'' ]

In the town where I was born lived a man who sailed the sea 
And he told us of his life in the land of submarines 
So we sailed into the sun 'till we found the sea of green 
And we live beneath the waves [''chris fiddles with the model''] in our yellow submarine 
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine 
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine 
And our friends are all aboard, many more of them live next door 
Then the band begins to play [''imitating a horn''] ''ba-ba-ba-rump-ra-rump-ra-rump-ra-rump-a-rump-a-rump-ba-rump-a-rump'' 
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine 
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine 

[''in a strange squeaky voice''] "Full speed ahead, Mr. Boatswain [''pronounced boats-wain''], full speed ahead! Ah, feel it is, sir! Cut the- cut the cable, drop the cable! C- aye, sir, aye, aye! Captain, [[Speech impediment|cowdun]]!"

[''He continues to sing, awkwardly trying to do the accompanying vocals as well with a higher pitch'']

As we live beneath these- a life of ease! 
And every one of us- every one of us! Has all we need- has all we need! 
Sky of blue- sky of blue! And sea of green- sea of green! 
In our yellow- in our yellow! Submarine, ha ha! 
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine 
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine 
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine 
[''quietly''] All live in a yellow submarine...

[''Chris cuts off music but keeps singing''] Yellow submarine, yellow submarine... [''Chris picks up a K'Nex hippopotamus figure and moves it toward the camera''] and we all live in a hipp- [''camera falls over on its side''] Mmph! [''Chris sets camera up again, now holding another toy figure resembling a pig''] [[Random-access humor|We all live in a hippopotamus, a hippopotamus, a hippopotamus]] [''The camera falls over again, this time looking under the table and giving the viewer an unintentional shot of a seemingly oblivious Chris's crotch, revealing that he is wearing a pantiliner.''][''picking up camera again, still holding toy''] We all live in a hippopotamus, a hippopotamus, [''he sets it down on top of a human figure''] sitting on my head. Duh! Ba-bum! [''setting down "hippo" toy again''] Hippopotamus, sitting on my head! Duh! Get off my head, hippo!

[''Chris holds up a piece of the Yellow Submarine model''] And on a personal note, [[Lego]] would have done a be'er job with the construction of the Yellow Submarine than... K'Nex did. [''he demonstrates the model falling apart as he tries to pick it up''] Falls apart easy! Made in the USA, these [[HEXBox|Kinect]] [''sic''] parts. Anyway, there you go. "Yellow Submarine". Have a good day.}}

==Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies==
{{Honest}}
Similar to his last paid request, Chris appeared genuinely eager to record this video. His enthusiasm grew as the recording progressed—his voice projecting excitement as his pitch increased—especially when he shook his chest. This may be because—however briefly or mockingly—Chris became the object of someone else's sexuality. In total, Chris says the word "fuck" 32 times in the video, even though he had previously stated that he would not do any requests which contained profanity.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cAR-6otspXk}}
| stardate = 22 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{(Handouts)|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{TurquoiseTankTop|text}}
| previous = [[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"|Singing "Yellow Submarine"]]
| next = [[Paid Video Requests#For Elisabeth|For Elisabeth]]
}}

This video was deleted by YouTube for violating its policy on "nudity or sexual content."

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris retracts his right hand from the bottom right of the frame. He raises his eyebrows twice, then begins to recite the message. While doing this, he locks his forearms at a 90 degree angle to his upper arms, and rotates his torso left and right, as if he is dancing. '']

Fuck fuck fuck,

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,

Fuck fuck fuck,

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,

Fuck fuck fuck,

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,

Fuck fuck fuck,

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

[''Chris abruptly grabs his chest with both hands, one on each breast, and jiggles the flab underneath violently'']

Shake my boobiieees! Shake my boobies!

[''Chris quickly crosses his arms over his chest, presumably in a failed attempt to hide his burgeoning cleavage'']

Shake my boobies!

[''Chris shakes his head'']

Wee!

[''Chris reaches with his right hand to the bottom right of the frame'']

==For Elisabeth==
{{Infobox/video
| name = For Elisabeth
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XxJPbuAkaY0}}
| stardate = 22 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{TurquoiseTankTop|text}}
| previous = [[Paid Video Requests#Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies|Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies]]
| next = [[Paid Video Requests#To Stephen.|To Stephen.]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
{{collapsible
|A long transcript of Chris mostly singing|

[''Chris looks into the camera and adjusts his glasses.'']

And now, my special paid request to Elizabeth, from your friend. If the, uh, tracks pauses, it's because the internet connection. My bad. Christine Chandler coming to ya live.

[''Chris looks up and to the left at his television, which is out of the shot. He presses a button on his controller, and the song'' Stereo Love ''written by Edward Maya and featuring Mia Martina begins to play. Chris follows along weakly, quickly getting out of sync with the lyrics.'']

When's a you're gonna stop breaking my heart 
I don't wanna be another one 
Pa-paying for the things I never done 
Don't let go 
Don't let go 
To my love 

Can I get to your soul 
Can you get to my thoughts 
Can you promise we won't let go 
All the things that I need 
All the things that you need 
Tha-You can make it feel so reeeeeal. 

Cuz you can't deny 
You've blown my mind 
When I touch your body 
As-I feel I'm losing control 
Cuz you can't deny 
You've blown my mind 
When I see you baby 
I just don't wanna let go 

I hate to see you cry 
Your smile's a beautiful lie 
I hate to see you cry 
My love is dyin' inside 

I can fix all those lies 
But baby, baby, I run, but I'm running to you 
You won't see me cryyyy, I'm hiding insiii 
My heart is in pain but I'm smiling for you 

Can I get to your soul 
Can't you get to my thoughts 
Can you promise we won't let goooo 
All the things that I need 
All the things that you need 
You can make it feel so reeeal 

Cuz you can't deny 
You've blown my mind 
When I touch your body 
I feel I'm losing control 
Lis-Cuz you can't deny 
You've blown my mind 
When I see you baby 
I just don't wanna let goooo 

When's you gonna stop breaking my hearrrt 
Don't let go 
Don't let goooo 
To my loooove 

-te to see you cry 
Your smile's a beautiful liiieee 
I hate to see you cry 
My love is dying insiiide 
I hate to see you cry 
My love is dyin' insiiide 
I hate to see you cry 
My love is dyin' insiiide 

I can fix all's lies 
But baby, baby, I run, but I'm running to you 
Won't see me cryyy, I'm hiding inside 
My heart is in pain but I'm smiling for you 
Oh baby I'll try to make the things right 
I need you more than air when I'm not with you 
Please don't as' me why, jus' kiss me this time 
My only dream is about you and Iii. 

[''The video ends. Chris turns his head back to the camera.'']

There you go, Elizabeth. Have a good day.}}

==To Stephen.==
{{Infobox/video
| name = To Stephen.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RP9VKMOg-wg}}
| stardate = 22 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}, {{Music|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{TurquoiseTankTop|text}}
| previous = [[Paid Video Requests#For Elisabeth|For Elisabeth]]
| next = [[Paid Video Request Reminder]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
[''The camera shakes as Chris turns it towards himself. He turns his head slightly to look into the camera.'']

Hello Steven (sic), this is Christine Chandler coming live to you. Paid request.

[''Chris looks directly down at his phone, which bobs in and out of the frame.'']

Uh, so yeah a friend of yours wanted me to, make, uh, a personal [''Chris raises his hand with the phone and takes off his glasses''] video shoutout to you, or, uh just talk to you.

[''Chris bring his phone into the center of the frame. He alternates throughout the message between looking at the phone and the camera.'']

Um, so yeah, heard you had surgery, so, that's good. You survived. Feel like you got a new lease. [''Chris looks up, then at the camera.''] Very good. Very good. Reason to live. Hmm. An', let's see, uh, oh, your friend really likes you, yeah, think you're the nicest person they ever know, you got a birthday-you HAD a birthday, so, happy belated birthday. Your friend's sorry about that too. Mmm. Movies and cartoons. So: [''Chris blows on his phone screen.''] I dunno if you're old enough to have h-seen the Saw movies, but [http://sawfilms.wikia.com/wiki/John_Kramer the story behind John Kramer] was pretty good. Um, an' cartoons, yeah-ah, shit! [''Chris holds the phone to his head briefly and makes a pained face''] start with a movie-a cartoon movie, um, oh well!

[''Chris starts to sing in a high-pitched voice to the tune of'' Everything is Awesome ''from the Lego Movie, although he sings the wrong lyrics.'']

Everything is groovy! 
Everything is cool when-[''Chris pauses'']-part of the team! 
Everything is groovy! 

[''Chris attempts to imitate a much older man now.'']

It's the Lego Movie! 
Lego Lego Movie!

[''In a higher pitched voice.''] 
Groovy! 
Movie! 

[''Chris returns to his normal voice.''] An, good luck to you an' both of your dogs! So, have a great day, Steven! [''Chris drops his phone.''] Take care.

==Machine Romans==
Note: This video was uploading to [https://gaming.youtube.com/channel/UCN4fi8RjeYVVRbeavxeXffw an alternate account], due to Chris receiving a temporary ban from his main channel.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Machine Romans
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ch0t6ZPxTxo}}
| stardate = 28 [[July 2016]]
| subject = {{(Handouts)|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{TurquoiseTankTop|text}}
| previous = [[Paid Video Request Reminder]]
| next = [[Paid Video Requests#Birthday Greetings for BellyBoi69|Birthday Greetings for BellyBoi69]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| Paid for by StrokeTheWizard - soundcloud.com/strokethewizard More information: nobodytm.com

Common Filth: youtube.com/channel/UCb9NIDFFW4KOqc6hGBnFBhg

via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris turns the camera towards himself. He glances down at a piece of paper out of frame, then back at the camera.'']

Hello ev'rybody, 'nother paid request, [''Chris brings the piece of paper into the bottom left of the frame.''] so without further ado, hmm, [''Chris's voice becomes lower in pitch. Throughout the reading, the pitch and tone of his voice fluctuates between his normal voice and this more somber voice, and he pronounces several of the words in the passage with great difficulty.'']

Our civilization's trajectory is irreversible. We are being physically culled by visions, and our machines are domesticating us. Corporations are plotting to build sub-realities via trendy virtual-reality technology, that celebrities will soon endorse as fashion, so they may act as gods to the underclasses. In a matrix of their own creation, the spiritual peasants are all too eager to submit. Sexual intimacy will no longer be ''intimate,'' the act will be as mundane conversation. We will be monitored by artificial intelligence, through every medium, for our own protection, and humans will always feel inclined to erode morality, through slogans relating to love and freedom. Believing that it is part of evolution, conditioned from birth to worship the institution, the narrative will not be conquered from within. Faith must be put into intangible higher orders; do not submit to the good of mere machines.

[''Chris puts the paper down and faces the camera again. He now speaks in his normal voice.'']

Okay. That's fair. Have a good day.

==Birthday Greetings for BellyBoi69==
Even though this video was released on 28 July 2018, Chris's [[Chris_and_fashion|wardrobe]] and his location suggest that it was made in [[2016]].
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris's paid video for BellyBoi69
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3ZA6AG9kECg}}
| stardate = 28 July 2016
| subject = {{Marketing|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = {{TurquoiseTankTop|text}} {{The Musical Tote|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Machine Romans]]
| next = [[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"]]

}}

====Transcript====
[''Overhead shot of Chris.'']
Hello, Ily [''pronounced like "Reilly"''] in Australia. I'm guessin' that's how you [[Honor roll|spell]] your name 'cause your friends... typed it as I-L-Y. Anyway, happy birthday to you and... I'm doin' this w'm'selfie stick because, uh... it'd be complicated to link my PS4 to my YouTube account-- uh, other one. Anyway, [''Chris briefly lowers the camera, giving the audience a boob shot''] here's the selfie stick, I'll do a little dance. [''Chris hums tunelessly and dances, inverting and lowering the camera during the latter part of the routine.''] Happy birthday, Ily.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Update_20160718]]|nextlink=[[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"]]}}

{{BusinessList}}
[[Category:Business]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris and politics

2022-11-07T21:41:56Z

FireLiz:

{{quote|EID, PMURT, EID|[[Chris]]'s biting political commentary on President [[Pmurt|Trump]].}}

[[File:Chris_Chad_Sonichu.jpeg|thumb|right|Chris's political views defy conventional classification.]]

From his discovery on the internet towards [[2017|2017]], Chris has been quite vocal about his '''political views'''. He was once a moderate, and then leaned left. Following his [[transgender|shift in gender identity]] from 2011 onward, he moved further left. His progressing support of the LGBT+ community may have been why he has been more vocal about politics. In the [[Dimensional Merge| post-merge era]], he mentions politics infrequently (thankfully) as he's too busy [[Messiah complex|pretending to be the goddess of his imaginary world]]. (oh....)

==General views==
Before the [[2010s]], Chris was a self-described moderate. His views were eclectic – they could best be described as fiscally liberal and socially conservative. He would therefore receive criticism from both sides of the political fence. Liberal [[trolls]] criticized Chris for his [[racism]], [[sexism]], [[homophobia]], and black-and-white view of the world, as well as his poor understanding of science. Conservative trolls criticized him for his lack of a [[job]], reliance on the [[tugboat|government]], unusual behavior, and obscure interests.

After the close of the Classic era, Chris's social views started to shift left, while his fiscal views shifted even further.

===Reasons for Chris's political shift===
====Shift in identity====
Chris's [[transgender]] identity has left him open to political influence from others, particularly as he has begun socializing within the [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] [[Impulse Gay Social Club|community]] and other generally progressive outlets. He even became accepting of [[homos|gay men]], a group he once vehemently opposed.

====Financial problems====
{{main|Financhu Crisis}}

Chris's deteriorating financial situation, continued dependence on [[Monthly tugboat|government money]], and growing [[Chris and health|health problems]] for himself and his mother have enhanced his sensitivity to social spending and fiscal policy. In particular, one of [[Pmurt]]'s most prominent policy goals was the repeal of the current {{w|Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act|Affordable Care Act}}; while the exact effects of the law on healthcare costs and availability for common people are debatable, it is generally considered at least partly effective. Chris has no doubt heard about Republican repeal efforts from his limited political news exposure, and likely holds them against Trump and his allies.

===Politics in the Trump era and beyond===
[[File:Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, a.mp400001.png|thumb|left|Chris discussed his political opinions by using toys to role-play a conversation.<ref>[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]</ref>]]

Chris voiced criticism of Republican Party presidential nominee Donald Trump throughout 2016; after Trump's surprise victory, he issued outright death threats against President Trump and Vice President Mike Pence. After they were inaugurated, he viewed himself as part of the anti-Trump resistance, although he did little aside from post memes and additional messages telling them to die. Chris's interests in [[SLGBTQ|LGBT+ issues]] likely played a role in his attacks on the then-new administration. However, in 2018, under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], he talked in [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis|a video]] about opposing Nazis, and claimed to be a member of {{w|Antifa (United States)|Antifa}}. He also [[Smashing|destroyed a toy pony]] under the impression that Nazis (a recurring antagonistic presence in the Idea Guys lore) had bugged it. As Chris became more enthralled by the concept of the [[Dimensional Merge]], he generally tuned out of politics as he became more focused on [[Dimensions|alternate dimensions]] and [[Messiah complex|his role in ensuring that cartoons and video games could become real]].

Chris would eventually voice support to Joe Biden's presidential campaign, but he voted for {{w|Lisa Simpson}} in 2020 because [[Chris and reality|he actually believes]] that she will become POTUS after the [[Dimensional Merge]] takes place<ref>[[Discord Q&A 5#Operation of CWCville's Government]]</ref>. While he continued to hate Trump and Pence, the outcome of the election didn't matter to him as much personally due to his belief in the delusion. His belief that Lisa is president presumably takes its influence from ''[[The Simpsons]]'' episode "{{w|Bart to the Future}}", which is set years in the future after she succeeds Donald Trump's then-fictional administration, which substantially increased the national [[debt]] before she took office. However, the events of "Bart to the Future" are not predictive, despite numerous viral videos promoting such misconception: Donald Trump considered running for the job in 1999, one year before the episode aired, and the first of the six bankruptcies to affect his businesses (which the national debt joke referenced) occurred in 1991.<ref>https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/simpsons-predict-trump</ref>

==Views on policy==
Chris's political views resemble a third grade child's "if I were President" social studies assignment; possessing a shallow understanding of major world issues.

A rather insightful example of his limited understanding of how the world actually works is his video [[A Public Announcement for Congress]], in which Chris explains in detail the actions he would take if elected President of the United States.

One doesn't even need to play the video to know that Chris is full of shit, as the title "A Public Announcement for Congress", contradicts itself. The video is not directed at Congress in any way, but rather is a stump speech directed at the American people. Anyone familiar with Chris's [[Chris and English|unique]] manner of speaking knows that he makes a habit of using fancy-sounding words (to him, at least) to make himself sound more intelligent than he actually is. Since Chris has no idea how to actually use these words, the results often make him sound even more like a total moron.

{{Infobox/video
| name = A Public Announcement for Congress
| ytid = OhqFeTAHCo8
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Politics|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
}}

In the video, Chris displays for all the world that he has no idea how anything works.

Chris's first 100 days as President would be as follows:
* Use federal funds to create massive government housing complexes in every major city for the homeless.
* Drastically lower the sales tax of the state of Virginia from 5% to 2.5%
* Not lower "benefits" for retirees.
* Subsidize pharmaceutical costs for retirees.
* Confiscate all firearms owned by civilians.
* Legalize gay marriage in every member state of the United Nations.
* Construct FBI stations to monitor the activities of internet trolls.

Ideologically, Chris's views are all over the place, ranging from conservative (e.g. slashing tax rates in half) to extremely liberal views (e.g. setting up a massive welfare initiative in the form of "soup hotels").

Notably, the "five percent" tax rate Chris wants halved refers to the Virginia sales tax rate, and not a federal income tax. Besides the fact that sales tax rates are set by the states and not by the federal government, and a President Chandler would have no power to change this, Chris's misunderstanding of the distinction between income and sales tax points to the fact that, to nobody's surprise, Barb probably filed all of Chris's taxes for him during those three incredible months when Chris was actually employed.

Since Chris most likely has never seen a W2 in his entire life, his approval of cutting taxes was most likely the influence of his late father. This is also most certainly the case with the next two points, which both relate to benefits for retired persons.

He would also take away all firearms from the civilian population, a direct violation of the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution. He then immediately backtracks on this idea, instead settling to just confiscate and ban the sale of ammunition. This ammunition would then be redistributed to the population in the event of an attack from 'another nation or planet". Not even considering the fact that such a plan would be a logistical nightmare, Chris seems to forget that the United States already has a military to defend itself, so exactly why Chris believes the U.S. population would have to be engaged in Guerrilla-style warfare against a foreign invader is a mystery.

Chris's final proposal is perhaps the most egregious, suggesting that the resources of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, a federal agency which is, among other things, ''dedicated to stopping foreign and domestic terrorist plots'', should be used to investigate people who type "ur gay" over the internet.

In short, Chris's views on politics at that time were mostly the product of the influences of his conservative parents, combined with a well-meaning, yet naïve understanding of complex sociopolitical issues like poverty and gun violence.

==Other Issues==
===Terrorism===

On 15 [[November 2015]], Chris wrote [[Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris|a piece]] on the ISIS attacks in France.

He demonstrated a very simplistic notion of ISIS, comparing it to a cartoon villain “looking to gather energies and power for themselves.”

He also tried to understand the motives of the terrorists by using his own life experiences against trolls, saying “I feel the terrorists, regardless of country, are misguided with paranoia and fear of others.”

His solution for world peace is simply to “stand together, combining our hearts and souls in the efforts to share the lights of friendship and love.” This ignores all underlying motives for sociopolitical tensions, and is a solution more fitting for a fight among small children.

===Patriotism===

In the 2009 [[Father Call]], Matthew called out Chris on his lack of patriotism, for making [[Twin Falling Towers]], saying, “Don't tell me you're an American.” Chris took it literally, responding with “I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.”

On [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 050032017-2|3 May 2017]], Chris naïvely appealed to North Korea, a foreign totalitarian regime, for a coup against the President of the United States.

==Chris's Involvement in the Political Process==

===2008-2012===
Chris, to many people's shock and horror, has voted in multiple United States presidential elections. In 2008, Chris voted for Democratic candidate Barack Obama. His main reason for doing so was the fact that he had watched a set of documentaries on both Obama and his Republican opponent, John McCain. Chris, in [[True and Honest]] form, said he voted against McCain because he couldn’t identify with him on a personal level. In December 2008, he stated:<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

{{quotebox|I saw more of myself in Obama when I watched his A&E Biography, than in McCain's A&E Biography; both downloaded from the Playstation Store.

Who would you vote for; a war hero that you couldn't feel that much for, or the guy who you feel like is similar to you in social dilemmas?}}
Chris's reasons for choosing Obama over McCain are understandable, given the amount of candidates, successful or otherwise, who have campaigned as a "man of the people." However, exactly what qualities of Barack Obama an obese manchild saw in himself is currently unknown. Chris elaborated further in 2014, during [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript|a date with Catherine]]:

{{quotebox|I kind of felt like um, with my mental stabil-, with my mental problems and whatnot, I felt like I could similarly relate to him? I felt more related, felt more relatable to him in that sense than McCain was. As he was the, uh, prisoner in that other country he insisted, he did not want to be released early. He wanted to go out with the r-, with as s-, at the same time as errybody else. Uh I mean, that is, that is admirable [he pronounces this word all wrong].}}

Chris would go on to vote for Obama a second time in 2012 for, once again, no real reason besides his claim that he personally identified with him, saying, "I felt like I wanted to make sure that I had [[Chris and his Ego|good reason]] to decide from the change and having a first black president. Aside from that, cause if I had done that, if I had done it on just that alone, that would have been racist."

===2016===
{{see also|Pmurt}}

[[File:Cwc electionday 2016.jpg|thumb|Chris, after casting his vote for Hillary Clinton]]

Despite having four more years of opportunities to actually understand how a country functions, Chris's reasoning for his choice in the 2016 Presidential election remained laughably shallow. Chris repeatedly made clear his preference for Democratic candidate {{w|Hillary Clinton}} during this election cycle; his main reason being that she is a [[China|woman]]. In February 2016, Chris said, "I feel like American [sic] needs a woman's touch finally after all these years"<ref>[[Update 02/16/2016]]</ref> as a reason for why he wanted Hillary Clinton [[Women's Rights|to become president.]]

Chris did make a ''slight'' attempt to develop his political views from the Obama era. Instead of just voting for Clinton because she reminds him of himself, he read up on the issues. Unfortunately, this consisted of [[Pmurt#Chris's news sources|skimming clickbait articles]] written by LGBT activists. He also cited an episode of The Simpsons as one of his major sources for being opposed to Clinton’s opponent, Donald Trump.<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>

When a fan asked him for reasons to vote for Clinton, he responded:<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref>

*Hillary will Tax the Fat Cats and fill the middle class and lower and get the country less in debt.

*She is PRO-LGBTQ and Immigrants

*She is more beneficial for EVERYONE in General.

*AND, this country is long Overdue for a Woman's touch.

Despite claiming to be a feminist, the sexism in Chris's "woman's touch" remarks seems to elude him.

Chris has also given [[Pmurt#Opposition to Trump|many reasons for opposing Trump]].

===2016 Election Results===

[[File:Feelings of the election results (720p 30fps H264-192kbit AAC).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, after learning of the election results]]
On 9 [[November 2016]], Chris reacted to news of Donald Trump’s victory over Hillary Clinton [[Pmurt#Death Threats|by throwing a huge temper tantrum]]. During that time, he:

*Asked someone to kill Trump with “a sniper rifle”

*Made videos and Facebook posts depicting the President-elect, and later the Vice President-elect, being murdered in effigy, using Transformers and Legos

*Posted to the comments section of a LGBT Facebook page and asked its readers to pray for Trump’s death

He also signed [[Pmurt#Anti-Trump petitions|an online petition]] asking the Electoral College to disregard the results of the 2016 election and install Clinton into the presidency which did not happen.

Chris has refused to recognize Pmurt as his president, saying, “[[Chris and reality|Trump is Not president, mayor, or Anything in Cwcville.]]<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#I'm done adulting]]</ref>

===Open Letter to Pmurt on the LGBT===
Upon reading that Pmurt had said he would sign the {{w|First Amendment Defense Act}} if passed by Congress, a bill opposed by liberals due to potentially enabling discrimination against the LGBT community, Chris first reacted by [[December 2016 Facebook posts#Advocate or die, Trump!|making a death threat]], then writing [[December 2016 Facebook posts#A puzzler for Trump|an open letter]] directed at Pmurt.

{{quotebox|Hey! #DonaldTrump. I have a puzzler for you.

In the alternate reality/dimension/universe where A, Every person there is the Opposite born gender from here (in an example, the Donald Trump there is a Woman, and Every President of the United States of America there has been Female), and B, the LGBTQ is the Norm and the discrimination happens against the Straight People. Would You, the Donald Trump of This reality/dimension/universe, allow the Donald Trump(ette) in That opposite reality/dimension/universe, Sign the Anti-Straight Law, that would allow discrimination of Yourself, Ever?

If your answer is No, then it should be fit that you Not discriminate against us, the LGBTQ, as the people there Discriminate against the Straight.

Yet, if your answer remains Yes, then you, sir, would end up being a Self-Loathing Person, as you allowed the continuing of Discrimination of Yourself in that reality/dimension/universe that is the Very Same Planet, AND the Very Same United States of America, that You, Yourself, regardless, dare to reside and take office in.

<nowiki>#DonaldTrump</nowiki>, Abdicate the Office and let Hillary Clinton run this country, For the Love of Religion, and for any shred of Self-Love you have for yourself. Or die from yours or someone else's hand.

Good day. }}

Though confusing, Chris's point seems to be that he wants Pmurt to consider the perspective of a LGBT-oriented person before making his decision on the bill. Aside from the death threat at the end, it is a fair effort by Chris, whose own [[autism]] often makes it difficult for himself to empathize with other people. In any case, said bill was never passed or signed by Pmurt.

===2020===
{{quote|Right on! I say No to Drumpftastic [[Mathematics|infinity squared]].|Chris, giving support to the Biden/Harris campaign in response to Jason Alexander's endorsement.<ref>[[October 2020 social media posts#No to Drumpftastic]]</ref>}}
[[File:YangGang.png|thumb|left|For a time, Chris was part of the Yang Gang.]]

By the time he encountered the Idea Guys, Chris had shifted his focus from being invested in following [[SLGBTQ|LGBT+ groups]] to being invested in his [[Chris and coping|imaginary world]]. Without the influence from LGBT groups, Chris seemed to have left his hatred of Trump and his interest in politics behind, preferring to occupy himself with his [[polyamorous marriage]]s and alternate [[dimensions]]. Nonethelss, Chris vocalized his support for Andrew Yang in [[October 2019]], during the lead-up to the Democratic Party primaries to select a nominee for President. This was most likely due to Yang's support of universal basic income, which Chris probably hoped would upgrade his [[monthly tugboat]] significantly. Conversely, he practically ignored any and all news concerning Trump's impeachment in [[December 2019]] and the months that followed, which demonstrated Chris's comparative lack of interest in politics at this point in time. After all, the impeachment process would have been the earliest point that he could have been removed in office besides January 2021, presuming that he lost his 2020 re-election bid (which he eventually did).

However, Chris did become slightly more engaged with politics much closer to the 2020 election, starting around the time that news that Donald Trump contracted [[COVID-19]] got out. Taking to [[October 2020 social media posts|social media]] during [[October 2020]], he replied to [[Ben Saint]] to dispel his claims that Chris was responsible for Trump's ailment via a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]]; Chris also took a moment to proclaim that COVID-19 would '''not''' be the cause Trump's demise, but that his end will come by other means, as [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|his death]] is foretold as part of Chris's own [[Dimensional Merge]] prophecies. He then vocalized support for Democratic Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates Joe Biden and Kamala Harris a few days later, after their respective debates against Donald Trump and Mike Pence, ensuring that they received the critical Sonichu vote in the election. Chris also appreciated the schadenfreude of someone reportedly hacking into Trump's [[Twitter]] account after it was reported to have very minimal security protection. True to Chris's prophecy, Trump recovered from his infection.

The actual election arrived on 3 November. Despite Chris’s opposition to Trump, and the uncertainty of the election, he tweeted that he would vote for Lisa Simpson, likely due to his belief that she would lead the nation after the Merge.<ref>[[November 2020 social media posts##LisaSimpson2020]]</ref> Provisional results indicate that Chris may be one of only two {{w|write-in candidate|write-in}} voters in Ruckersville.<ref>[https://results.elections.virginia.gov/vaelections/2020%20November%20General/Site/Locality/GREENE_COUNTY/President_and_Vice_President.html Unofficial Election Results], Virginia Department of Elections</ref> Regardless of whether or not Chris really wasted his vote on Lisa Simpson, Biden then won Virginia later that night by nearly ten points, and eventually won enough states for both an electoral college and popular vote victory over Trump. Chris eventually [[November 2020 social media posts#Pmurt|watched a ''Saturday Night Live'' segment that he later tweeted about]], expressing jubilation that Trump would not get a second term.

Amid a recent attempt to retreat into his fantasy world,<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts#The Merge is apparently on]]</ref> Chris did not comment on the outcome of the run-off Senate races in Georgia, which gave Biden a bare majority in the Senate, the {{w|2021 storming of the United States Capitol|storming of the US Capital}} on the following day, or Trump's second impeachment on charges of incitement to insurrection as a result of the storming. However, Chris did comment on Trump's ban from Twitter, which also occurred as a result of the storming.<ref>[[January 2021 social media posts#Donald Trump]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Barack Obama]]
*[[Pmurt]]
*[[United States of America]]
*[[CWCville]]
*[[Chris and oration]]

==Sources==
<references/>
{{PoliticalVideos}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Politics]]

Lost Media

2022-11-07T20:20:17Z

FireLiz: cleanup

{{Honest}}

'''Lost media''' refers to media that once existed but has been lost or destroyed or media that has never been released publicly.<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_media</ref> In reference to Chris this definition will apply however only media that directly involves or mention [[Chris]] will be included. For Chris to be involved he had to have made the media or play a part in its creation. Therefore media like Chris's [[Sailor Moon]] DVD's will not be included as it does not involve or mention Chris even though he owned them. This article will also include pieces of media that have not been fully lost but certain parts or sections have been lost such as an audio clip that has its video footage lost as seen with [[CatKnight Interview 5]] or [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

Also, both digital and physical media will be in this article however, the definition this article has established will apply to both. With regards to physical lost media any items destroyed or sold by [[Chris]] will not be counted. Only items destroyed by external factors like the [[2014 house fire]] will be included.

Finally, the contents of this article are subject to change as '''Lost media''' can be found, therefore sections of this article may be removed at a later date.

==Lost Media around Chris==

===10242009 (Gregg Mays' video)===
{{See also|10242009}}

[[10242009]] was a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 24 [[October 2009]] in which he responds to [[Clyde Cash#Gregg_Mays|Gregg Mays]]. While this video is available, a video made by Gregg related to 10242009 was set to private. Gregg's video has not been found since, and is considered to be lost.

===Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke (Mao's response)===
{{See also|Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke}}

[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]] was a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 17 [[January 2010]] in which he reads and reviews [[Asperchu]]. While this video is available, [[Mao]]'s response video released on the same day was made private. The video has not been found since then; Mao's response is currently considered to be lost.

===Asperchu Medallion===
{{See also|Asperchu}}

The '''Asperchu Medallion''' was a variant of the [[Sonichu]] medallion featuring [[Asperchu]] instead of [[Sonichu]] sent to [[Chris]] by [[Alec Benson Leary]]. It is unknown when [[Alec Benson Leary]] sent the medallion to [[Chris]] however the medallion was first seen in Chris's [[Magical Man Potion]] video uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]]. [[Chris]] revealed in a [[Facebook]] post made on 2 [[August 2014]]<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2014_Facebook_Posts#Fan_items_lost_in_the_fire</ref> that the '''Asperchu Medallion''' was destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]], making it lost.

===Attraction Sign===
{{See also|Attraction Sign}}

The [[Attraction Sign]]s were a series of signs detailing his desire for a [[boyfriend-free girl]] that [[Chris]] used from [[2004]] to [[2014]]. All the signs made before the [[2014 house fire]] have not appeared since likely being destroyed in the event, thereby making them lost. One sign has been made since the [[2014 house fire]] on [[July 2014]] on Chris's [[OkCupid]] account<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Okcupid_8_jul_2014_4.jpg</ref>, however it has also not appeared since, likely making it lost.

===Autism papers===
{{See also|Autism papers}}

The [[Autism papers]] were a series of papers detailing the mental state of [[Chris]] and to what extent he has [[autism]]. Most of these papers appeared to have been destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]] as none of them have appeared since. Even if not destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]], the hoard that is [[14 Branchland Court]] makes finding these papers next to impossible, making these papers almost certainly lost. However one paper from [[2004]] survives as it was e-mailed to [[Kacey]] by [[Chris]] who passed it on to [[Liquid Chris]] who then distributed the paper online in [[November 2009]].

===Black Tape===
{{See also|Chris and death}}
The "Black Tape" is a call between [[Chris]] and [[Jackie]] on 7 [[September 2011]] in which [[Chris]] broke down in the wake of his father's death the prior day. The contents of the call were considered so harrowing<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/black-tape-chris-call-where-he-mourns-bob.1201/</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/black-tape-chris-call-where-he-mourns-bob.1201/</ref> that the call has never been released in respect for [[Chris]]. It is unknown if anyone has the audio of the call so it is currently considered lost.

===CatKnight Interview 5 (Video)===
{{See also|CatKnight Interview 5}}

On 28 March 2016, Sir [[Arthur Spatchcock]], also known as '''CatKnight''' and '''Master Disaster''', conducted an interview with Chris on lets-plays. While the audio of this interview is still available, the footage has been lost.

===Chris Chan calls Time-Life===
{{See also|Prank calls}}

Little is known about this call as the video was not archived, and a transcript does not exist, making it lost. All that is known is that it was made after [[October 2011]].

===Chris Chan VS. The Internet===
{{See also|Chris Chan VS. The Internet}}

[[Chris Chan VS. The Internet]] was a documentary made by Joseph Draft first announced on Kickstarter on 4 [[April 2019]]. However, due to a variety of factors,<ref>https://archive.ph/doV4x</ref> the documentary has not surfaced and supposedly the hard drive containing the documentary has been destroyed, making this documentary lost. However, the trailer and the opening are available.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGekFLTbeos</ref><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6uEMpBxFu0</ref>

===Chris Sex Logs (Audio)===
{{See also|Chris Sex Logs}}

On 27 [[September 2008]] [[PandaHalo]] released a series of Skype chats in which Chris discussed with her a variety of subjects related to [[sex]]. While the transcript of the chats are available, the audio that accompanied the chats has been lost except for a 5:30 minute snippet.<ref>https://archive.org/details/cwcsexlogs1</ref>

===CWC 4 Puns of the Patridiots===

CWC 4 Puns of the Patridiots was a troll video in which aspects of Chris's life were mixed in with events from the game ''Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots''. This video is currently lost.

===eBay Purchases and Listings (2001-2008)===
Chris has been using eBay since all the way back in [[2001]]. While this wiki has archived most of Chris's eBay listings (and purchases) from 2008 onward, the same can't be said for his previous ones prior to that year. There have been a few records of his purchases from that era, but not a whole lot, and especially nothing of his potential listings. Chris's bans and suspensions from eBay, as well as potentially using sockpuppets, also makes archiving these difficult, so it's possible these bits of info are lost.

===Heart Torch of Fail===
{{See also|Heart Torch of Fail}}

The [[Heart Torch of Fail]] was a torch made of [[Pixelblocks]] that has an unknown significance to the [[Love Quest]]. The torch was made sometime before or during [[2005]] as it appears in [[Sonichu 4]], which was produced in the year [[2005]]. Since its appearance in [[2005]] it has never been seen since likely, being destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]], thereby making it lost.

===Jackie's Father Call===
{{See also|Jackie}}

In an email sent from [[Jackie]] to [[Chris]] at 1:36PM on 16 [[July 2011]]<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Jackie_E-mails_30</ref>, [[Jackie]] revealed that the day before Jackie's father who was drunk at the time got into a call with [[Chris]]. It is unknown if the call was recorded, and even if it was, no audio nor transcript of the call has been released, making this call lost.

===Julie Reveals Herself (Video)===
{{See also|Julie Reveals Herself}}

[[Julie Reveals Herself]] is a [[Mumble]] chat between [[Bluespike]] and [[Chris]] on 3 [[March 2009]] which involves shoving the [[Sonichu Medallion]] up his rectum and [[Julie]] revealing herself to be a boy. While the audio of the chat exists, the video that accompanied it, which includes footage of Chris shoving the [[Sonichu Medallion]] up his rectum, is lost.

===Liquid's call to Chris during the first Chris/Kacey meetup===
{{See also|Kacey}}

During the first meeting between [[Chris]] and [[Kacey]] she notes that [[Liquid]] called her and demanded to speak to [[Chris]]. [[Liquid]] and [[Chris]] then had an argument over the phone and later [[Liquid]] recounted this argument to [[Kacey]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Kacey#Kacey_Date_Log</ref> Despite [[Kacey]] saying that [[Liquid]] would reveal the details of the call, neither [[Liquid]], [[Kacey]], nor [[Chris]] have revealed the details of this call. Along with the call not being recorded this call and its contents are lost.

===Medallions===
{{See also|Medallions}}

The [[Medallions]] refer to the [[Sonichu]] [[Medallions]] made by [[Chris]] over the course of his life. The prototype medallion which [[Chris]] wore in [[2004]] as it is mentioned in the [[Autism papers]] disappeared after this year and is believed to be lost in the literal sense. The 4th iteration of the [[Sonichu]] [[Medallions]], which was made after [[April 2017]], was last seen with Chris's arrest on 1 [[August 2021]]. It is unknown what happened to this medallion as [[Chris]] has made no mention of it since and has not been seen with it in his mugshots. Therefore it is possible that this medallion was destroyed or discarded by the authorities, making it lost.

===My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey (Kacey's Part)===
{{See also|My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey}}

On 31 [[October 2009]] Chris made a video singing the male part of the lyrics to the song "A Whole New World", in response to [[Kacey]] uploading a video singing the female part of the same song. While Chris's video is avalible<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gv3znHKues</ref>, Kacey's video has been taken down by YouTube and is currently lost.

===No More Jokes (Clyde's response)===
{{See also|No More Jokes}}

[[No More Jokes]] was a video by [[Chris]] released on 5 [[November 2009]] in which he reveals the real identity of [[Clyde Cash]]. While both the SFW and NSFW versions of the video exist, Clyde's response to the video is currently lost.

===Power (Document)===
{{See also|Power}}

[[Power]] was a zip file containing three videos of [[Chris]] performing acts of strength to impress [[Vanessa Hudgens]] which was leaked by [[The Miscreants]] on 27 [[April 2009]]. Along with the three videos contained an edited audio file of "[[I Got a Fish]]" and a "special thanks" document. While the videos and audio file are available, the "special thanks" document has been lost.

===Red String of Fate===
{{See also|Red String of Fate}}

The [[Red String of Fate]] was a string with a paper heart attached on the end designed to attract a [[boyfriend-free girl]] that [[Chris]] created on 1 [[August 2004]]. In [[anime]] like [[Excel Saga]], of which Chris likely got the idea from as he watched [[Excel Saga]] before creating the [[Red String of Fate]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20160827014324/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville//SchusNews3.htm</ref> the [[red string]] is used as a metaphor to in courting love. However, [[Chris]] did not see the metaphor and would throw the [[red string]] at women in the hopes to "reel" them in. On 5 [[August 2004]] a [[Jerkop|mall security guard]] confiscated it and it has never resurfaced, likely being destroyed and thereby lost.

===Report cards===
{{See also|Honor roll}}

The report cards are a series of papers from Chris's education detailing his grades and academic progress. There has been no mention of these documents since the [[2014 house fire]], likely being destroyed and thereby lost. Even if not destroyed [[Chris]], claimed before the [[2014 house fire]] in [[2009]] within [[Mailbag 19]] that he could not access the documents.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mailbag_19#We_cannot_see_Chris.27s_report_cards</ref> Considering how cluttered [[14 Branchland Court]] is and [[Chris]] not having access to the documents to begin with, it is unlikely that this documents can be found, making them lost if they have not been destroyed. However, Chris's grades can be seen in the assignments that have survived in the [[Manchester High Leaks]], so Chris's grades are not entirely lost.

===Sonichu Fan Comics===

A variety of fan comics of [[Sonichu]] have been made over the years. While many of these comics are extant, many are lost after the shutting down of the Asperpedia of which these comics were on. The comics lost are: Simonchu (except for three pages),<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/simonchu-the-lost-fancomic.10338/</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/GkwIY</ref> Friend Zoned in Hell, The Internet Is So Yesterday, Direct 2 Sex: The Final Conflict, and The Real Collosal-Chan.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lost-media-capering-berries.2224/page-2</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/P4JPL</ref>

===Sonichu Fan Promo (videos)===
{{See also|Sonichu Fan Promo}}

The [[Sonichu Fan Promo]] were three 3D animated shorts on [[Sonichu]] made by [[Timmys1984]], released between 11-14 [[October 2008]]. While the transcripts of all three videos exist, only the third video remains.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpNoO0ZRDBE</ref> However, [[Chris]] incorporated these animations into [[Sonichu]] Issue 9, pages 72, 78, and 79 with 72 being the first short, 78 being the second short, and 79 being the third short.

===Sonichu Home Club (Videos)===
{{See also|Sonichu Home Club}}

The [[Sonichu Home Club]] was an online event hosted on Chris's [[PS3]] through online network. The purpose of these events was to gather [[TRUE and HONEST]] fans of [[Sonichu]], however it appears these events were done by [[Chris]] in the hope of receiving praise. Two of these events occurred, and while the transcripts remain the videos are lost.

===Sonichu's Live PS4 Broadcast===
{{See also|Twitch}}

On 16 [[March 2018]] Chris streamed the game '''Burnout Paradise Remastered''' on the [[PS4]]. While certain parts of the stream are available<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXt6H5t1MoY</ref><ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUwx7Y0A6_o</ref>, the stream footage in its entirety has been lost.

===The Sonichu Chronicles (Slides)===
{{See also|The Sonichu Chronicles}}

[[The Sonichu Chronicles]] was a PowerPoint presentation made by [[Chris]] in [[January 2009]] and was presented to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] as to give ideas on a [[Sonichu]] game. The transcript of the texts of the PowerPoint slides are available. However, the PowerPoint file is missing, making the slides currently lost. However, an image of the intro slide is available.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SonichuChronicles.jpg</ref>

===The Wall of Originals===
{{See also|The Wall of Originals}}

[[The Wall of Originals]] was a wall covered in Chris's customized [[Pokémon]] cards. Most of the cards from the wall were destroyed in the [[2014 house fire]], although some survived as revealed in a [[July 2017]] tweet and [[Chris]] listing the surviving cards on [[eBay]] in [[June 2018]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/July_2017_tweets#Holographic_cards</ref>

===Unreleased Jackie E-mails===
{{See also|Category:Jackie E-mails}}

Between 5 [[April 2010]] to 7 [[September 2011]], [[Jackie]] and [[Chris]] interacted with each other over emails of which have been compiled into 31 sets. However, the emails present are the ones [[Alec Benson Leary]] compiled and it is confirmed that [[Jackie]] and [[Chris]] had email conversations that [[Alec Benson Leary]] omitted due to them being irrelevant.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/are-you-losing-interest-in-chris.3255/page-5#post-190559</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/ZznwI</ref> Considering how long ago these events happened, it is likely that these unreleased emails will never surface, making them lost.

===Unreleased Miscreant Interactions===
{{See also|Miscreants}}

The [[Miscreants]] were a group of [[trolls]] consisting of many of the most notable, including [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]]. While many of their interactions with [[Chris]] are known, [[Marvin]] has confirmed that a significant amount of chats and calls the [[Miscreants]] and [[Chris]] had have not been released.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-5-chris-and-chrissy.10627/page-6#post-822127</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/Om30l</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/official-decision-regarding-gender-and-chris-gender-discussion-megathread.6283/page-31#post-5067791</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/5HTxq</ref> Considering how long ago these interactions happened and the fact it is unknown if anyone has these unreleased chats and calls, these interactions are likely lost.

==Unknown Lost Media==
While this article has listed lost media associated with [[Chris]], this is only lost media that is known to have existed and is now lost. It is almost certain that there are hundreds if not thousands of pieces of lost media around [[Chris]] that were never known or never released publicly or were never archived and have been lost. One can only speculate what has not been released or what has been lost over the course of Chris's life. Moreover, one can only speculate on what is waiting to be found.

==Lost and Found Media==

===IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court===
{{See also|IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court}}

The [[IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court]] as the title suggests was a tour of Chris's home that occurred on 31 [[August 2014]] with [[Chris]] giving the tour to [[Catherine]] and [[Cousin Al]]. The audio and slideshow of the tour was posted to [[Cousin Al]]'s YouTube channel on 5 [[March 2015]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/irl-tour-of-14-bc-audio.8231/</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/JqIx8</ref> Sometime in or before [[July 2020]] [[Cousin Al]]'s YouTube channel was terminated leading to the video of the audio and slideshow becoming lost as reported in [[Geno Samuel]]'s documentary [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History]] on 31 [[July 2020]].<ref>https://youtu.be/55EsycjHeJs?t=77</ref> However, as of 6 [[August 2022]], the video containing the audio and the slideshow of the tour have been found.

===Manchester High Leaks===
{{See also|Manchester High Leaks}}

The [[Manchester High Leaks]] are a series of high school assignments from Chris's junior year between [[1998]] and [[1999]].<ref>https://archive.ph/4xcbm</ref> It was thought that these documents were permanently lost in the in the [[2014 house fire]] as before the fire these documents had not surfaced leading to them being considered lost even before the fire. However, [[Cousin Al]] on [[June 2014]] after digging through Chris's trash, found these documents though they were damaged from the [[2014 house fire]].

===Rental House Tour===
{{See also|Rental House Tour}}

The [[Rental House Tour]] was a tour of Chris' temporary house in the aftermath of the [[2014 house fire]] recorded by [[Catherine]] and [[Cousin Al]] on 31 [[August 2014]]. Sometime before or on 6 [[March 2019]] the video had been lost.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lost-cwcki-links.54097/</ref><ref>https://archive.ph/uuKkf</ref> However, on 14 and 19 [[April 2019]] the 1st and 2nd halves of the recording were found.

===Scrapbook of Fail===
{{See also|Scrapbook of Fail}}

The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] are two binders containing every comic [[Chris]] has ever drawn including [[Sonichu]]. After the [[2014 house fire]] the scrapbook stopped being mentioned leading to the belief that it had been lost as reported by [[Sachumo]]<ref>https://youtu.be/bXjnakAlF-s?t=3420</ref> however, in [[November 2015]] [[Chris]] revealed the scrapbook had been found and survived the fire.

===ShecameforCWC.JPG===
{{See also|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}

[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] is a pornographic drawing consisting of [[Chris]] vaginally stimulating [[Megan Schroeder]] uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on 11 [[November 2007]]. On 4 [[November 2013]], [[Chris]] announced that he would destroy [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2013_Facebook_Posts#That_Dang_Drawing</ref>, leading to the belief that the original drawing had been lost, which was confirmed by a tweet [[Chris]] made on [[January 2018]], confirming he had destroyed [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/January_2018_tweets</ref> However, on [[April 2018]], [[Chris]] listed [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] for sale on his [[eBay]], which was bought by the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. It turned out that [[Chris]] had not destroyed the drawing but cut it up into squares, making it easy to reassemble, making it lost but not destroyed. It is unknown what the [[Teen Troon Squad]] have done with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] but it can be presumed they still own it, though they have not shown it off.

===The Classic===
{{See also|The Classic}}

[[The Classic]] refers to Chris's red and blue rugby shirt that he wore in many of his videos. It was thought that this shirt was destroyed and thereby lost in the [[2014 house fire]]. However, in [[April 2017]] [[Chris]] found [[The Classic]]. However, on 10 [[August 2018]] [[Barb]] threw away [[The Classic]] as revealed in a text to the [[Teen Troon Squad]] from [[Chris]], thereby making [[The Classic]] lost again.<ref>https://8ch.net/cow/res/651071.html#q687492</ref>

{{References}}
{{Newbie}}
[[Category:Lost Media]]

CWCki

2022-11-07T03:40:11Z

FireLiz:

{{Articleofthenow}}
''This is the article for the wiki ''about'' Chris. For more information about the wiki written ''by'' Chris, please see [[CWCipedia]]''.

[[Image:TypicalCWCkiPage.png|200px|thumb|What happens when CWCki gets [[Stress|STRESSED]].]]
[[Image:Cwcki2009.JPG|200px|thumb|Popularity of the CWCki throughout the years.]]

The '''CWCki''' (pronounced "quick-ee") was created by [[Cogsdev]], as the [[ED]] page was getting far too large for people to take. It serves as the Internet's only wiki devoted to [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the infamous [[Autism|autistic]] manchild <s>and spambot</s> gathering ground. As with any wiki, anyone can edit it, even YOU. Seriously though, if you're reading this, you are qualified and should be editing (just read [[Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki|this]] first).

Until 20 December 2019, the CWCki's motto was '''NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR'''. That motto was [[Talk:Main_Page#Removing "WHERE_NO_SHIT_IS_TOO_MINOR!" tagline|dropped]] in response to a substantial increase in people [[Unholy Quintet|trying]] to influence Chris for attention.

==History==
[[Image:CWCkicopter.JPG|thumb|right|One of the many members of the CWCki team, on the hunt for more information regarding autistic manchildren.]]

=== 110mb era (2008–2010) ===

The CWCki came to life on 110mb, the land of shitty web servers that go down every damn day.
Before the CWCki moved to sonichu.com, it had a history of outages caused by shit servers and counter-trolls. This is a history of the CWCki:
* [[October 2008]]: 110mb shut down all its service for two entire weeks out of nowhere just to move to a different data center.
* 25 [[January 2009]]: The CWCki's MediaWiki incarnation is founded.
* [[August 2009]]: A [[white knight]] complained to 110mb and everything got shut down. Then a day or two later, it was back up again.
* 13-18 [[September 2009]]: Due to maintenance, 110mb was closed.
* 4 [[January 2010]]: Finally, after the 9001st outage, the CWCki moved to Cogsdev.org.
* 26 [[June 2010]]: cogsdev.110mb.com is terminated from the server it was on.

=== Sonichu.com era (2010–2018) ===

* 7 [[November 2010]]: The CWCki moves from Cogsdev.org to Sonichu.com having obtained the domain name.
* 1 [[March 2016]]: Captcha Service for the CWCki shuts down.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20161004184738/http://blog.areyouahuman.com/goodbye_playthru/</ref>
* 21 [[August 2018]]: Registration for new users is disabled due to abuse from spambots. New accounts are only open to those who contact a CWCki jerkop.

=== 1776 Hosting era (2018–2022) ===

* 2 [[November 2018]]: The CWCki moves to 1776 Hosting, owned by [[Null]] (who also owns the [[Kiwi Farms]] and operates it out of 1776 Hosting).
* 12 [[April 2019]]: The Captcha Service of the CWCki is back!
* 2-12 [[July 2019]]: Due to 1776 Hosting being banned from its original datacenters, the CWCki went down as the servers physically relocated.
* 29 [[June 2021]]- 3 [[July 2021]]: The CWCki went down for several days (minus a brief return on 30 June) as a result of a DDoS attack against [[Kiwi Farms]].
* 12 [[February 2022]] - 16 February 2022: The CWCki went down for several days (minus a brief return on 13 February) as a result of another DDoS attack against [[Kiwi Farms]] by the same force.
* 22 [[August 2022]]: A harassment campaign against {{w|Keffals}}, and the fallout from it, results in a wave of {{w|denial-of-service attack}}s against the [[Kiwi Farms]], causing the CWCki to go offline.
* [[September 2022]]: {{w|Cloudflare}} ended services with the Kiwi Farms, forcing them to move to {{w|VanwaTech}}; later, the Kiwi Farms suffers a data breach.<ref>https://www.dailydot.com/debug/kiwi-farms-back-online-vanwatech</ref><ref>https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2022/09/kiwi-farms-has-been-breached-assume-passwords-and-emails-have-been-leaked</ref>

=== Post-1776 Hosting era (2022–present) ===

* 22 [[October 2022]]: Amid the ongoing turmoil with the Kiwi Farms, the CWCki leaves 1776 Hosting after four years and moves to a new host, allowing it to return online after two months offline.<ref>http://cwcki.club/index.php?threads/random-thoughts-and-questions.48/page-55#post-110445</ref>

==Forum==
{{main|CWCki Forums}}

Originally, the CWCki had a forum called the [[CWCki Forums]], which was frequented by many of the wiki regulars and other people interested of all things Christorical.

Previously hosted on Yuku, the forum was hosted on Forumer until 8 November 2012 when it was deleted off Forumer's servers. It had several relief forums until it had a permanent forum.

With Chris's content drying up and other lolcows becoming popular, the CWCki Forums eventually reformed and rebranded into the [[Kiwi Farms]]. However, discussion of Chris continues there to date, and a subforum dedicated to Chris exists as part of the 'Lolcow Cults' section.

==Chris's opinion==
{{quote|With that, I respectfully ask the webmaster of the Unapproved and Detested CWCki to remove ALL PAGES Classified under their "[[Template:People|Christian Weston Chandler's Web Of Life]]" and "[[List of Chris's sweethearts|Sweethearts, heartsweets and gal-pals]]" Categories. I give him until Midnight of Friday March 12, 2010, Eastern Standard Time, for the Webmaster of that CWCki to Remove ALL OF THOSE PAGES, [[Chris and his Ego|or there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me]].|[[Chris]], after discovering the CWCki, 02:03, 11 [[March 2010]] (CET).}}

The CWCki, like everything else on the [[Internet]] that criticizes him or depicts him unfavorably, is something that Chris hates. In the quote above Chris displays large amounts of his [[ego]], and as usual issues a [[death threat]]. Unfortunately for Chris, his demands did not go through. There are two reasons for this. First, his [[Clyde Cash|past track record with serious threats]] suggests that he [[stress|lacks the energy]] to put his ideas into action. Secondly, CWCkians are well aware of the solid legal standing of the website and will not cave to idle threats from autistic manchildren.

In the wee hours of 14 March 2010, Chris updated his blog, taking credit for the alteration of [[The Wallflower]]'s page and demanding that the rest of the pages mentioned earlier follow suit on or before 31 March or there would be trouble. [[Pocket knife|He IS armed]]. However, in true Chris fashion, midnight of 31 March passed with Chris doing absolutely jack shit. As if anyone was surprised.

On 2 April 2010, he tried to fulfill his threat, by making [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki|3 minor edits]] under the name of [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]], obviously forgetting that CWCki editors are not ''entirely'' unaware of Chris's recent favorites in video game field. His edits were reverted immediately and his user and user talk pages were bombarded with negative comments. The edits so far were mostly done to glorify him, and are not exactly the kind of hard-hitting bombastic protest CWCkians were expecting based on [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|Chris's previous assault on ED]]. It appears that this profoundly lame attack of his had bigger impact on him, because in 19 April 2010, he set up an article in CWCipedia to [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=The_Christian_Truth list his revised truths].
{{quote|Because the Trolls and ALL such [[Chris and hypocrisy|Pig-Headed, Closed-Minded Idiots]] REFUSE to let me TELL them the Truth on THEIR websites with My Own Past Edits they have Undone, HERE is Where I Correct Some to Most of Their Pages filled with Half-Truths, Exaggerations and Lies.|Chris, glorious edit-warrior, having just suffered an epic defeat in the hands of an unjust wiki [[Manajerks|administration]].}}

Chris's only response to the CWCki in this form was the article he made for the CWCipedia named [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]]. In it, Chris supposedly "set the record straight" about all the women in his life listed on the CWCki who we had supposedly gotten our facts wrong about, telling us what actually happened, (because we all know that Chris is far less biased than the CWCki when it comes to the subject of his own life). Naturally, he listed [[Ivy|several]] [[PandaHalo|women]] on there who were actually confirmed trolls working for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|people who run this very site]], thus proving that Chris's "truths" and "corrections" were really [[lies]] and mistakes all along.

Chris would later come back to the CWCki under the name [[JenkinsJinkies]], a poor [[disguises|disguise]] that fooled no-one, but one which the administrators played along with for a laugh. After a few more minor [[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki|edits]], Chris eventually left the site again, as the administrators had fooled him into thinking he had been noticed by the higher-ups and let into the secret inner circle of the [[Trollin Train|trolling cabal]]. This is what eventually led to the [[The MovingFoward videos|PS3 destruction videos]].

Following the [[28 October 2011|October 2011 Michael Snyder Bash-smash-ween]], Chris showed up as [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]] to upload photographs of Snyder and The GAMe PLACe, and to accuse Snyder of being '''fat''', child-molesting and "slender" (bolding and sarcasm quotes his).
As evidenced by a Facebook post of his, Chris seems to have come to understand that the CWCki exists purely to document information that is gathered about him, and plays no direct role in the trolling he experiences. He seems to have diverted his hatred to 4chan and 888chan, for reasons that remain unclear. He most likely is also thankful that his [[Scrapbook of Fail]] has survived in digital form after the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]]. That was, until [[January 2015]], when Chris posted a long tirade on Facebook, criticizing people who "haze" him on ED and the CWCki. Chris also stated on Facebook in [[December 2016]] that while the CWCki spreads the popularity of Sonichu, it apparently still defaces him in mal-mannered ways.

Since [[2017]], Chris has taken a less harsh stance on the CWCki. In multiple instances on social media, he has used several CWCki articles as references, including the [[Son-chu]], [[Manchester High]], and the [[The End Games]] articles. However, in [[June 2019 social media posts#Chris wants to reconcile with Manchester High and the Cwcki's domain|a tweet]] from [[June 2019]], he demanded that the "Sonichu.com" domain name be changed to "CWCki.com" so he could use it for his own website.

==References by Chris==
* [[Wallflower E-mails 3]] - Chris is made aware of the CWCki's existence by his [[gal pal]] who discovered the site and assumed it was created by Chris.
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]] - After seeing how well the CWCki documented all of his past relationships with women, Chris created this page to share [[Chris and reality|his side of the story]].
* [[Jackie Chat 1]] - Chris gives [[Jackie]] specific examples of how he thinks the CWCki "slanders" him.
* [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] - [[JenkinsJinkies]] pledges allegiance to [[Clyde Cash]] and the CWCki.
* [[LittleBigPlanet]] - In [[February 2011]], Chris posted a quote on his LittleBigPlanet profile and demanded that it be added to the CWCki's front page.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140702052200/http://lbp.me/v/w4vcbs</ref>
* [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] - In [[July 2011]], Chris warn his [[Tomgirl|gal-pals]] against the danger of CWCki and internet bullies
* [[Calling Out]] - In [[August 2011]], Chris demands two trolls to remove their contributions or suffer the consequences.
* [[Victory Rockout]] - Chris states (read: yells incoherently) that the CWCki is a "damn lie" and to never trust it. Apparently, if you wish to ask questions, [[Mailbag|ask him personally]] and he will answer with honesty.
* [[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D|Facebook, 28 April 2012]] - in which Chris discovered the CWCki forum (link to it is admittedly hard to find on the main page, as you ''actually need to scroll down'') and launched a dastardly misinformation campaign of epic proportions. And it totally worked, according to Chris anyway!
* [[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]- Along with many other things, Chris blames [[Megan]] for the creation of the CWCki.
* [[January 2014 Facebook Posts]]- Mentions the CWCki along with [[4chan]].
* [[June 2014]] - Chris tries to sell his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing‎]] on [[eBay]]. He also told everyone to spend money on it instead of donating to the CWCki.
*[[January 2015 Facebook posts#He Hasn't Forgotten Us!|January 2015 Facebook posts]] - Chris gets mad at the CWCki and ED for "hazing" him.
*[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Take down the CWCki, or Not to take down the CWCki|December 2016 Facebook posts]]- After carefully considering the matter, Chris concludes that the CWCki should be taken down.
* [[March 2017 Facebook Posts]]- Read the article on [[Son-Chu]], then set the record straight on his inspiration for it. He also posted a screenshot of the article to Facebook.
*[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]- Mentioned how [[The Classic]] is a Ralph Lauren shirt and tells viewers to put "that into your Cwcki".
*[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris wants to reconcile with Manchester High and the Cwcki's domain|June 2019 social media posts]]- In his tweet searching for forgiveness after his [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|high school graduation]], Chris digresses into whining how the Cwcki owns the Sonichu.com domain and wishes that it remains reserved for him until he relaunches his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]]. Also included is a screenshot from the Manchester High article.
*[[January 2020 social media posts]] - Chris tweeted a screenshot of [[The End Games]] article while ranting about their lack of "inclusivity".
*[[June 2020 social media posts#Fantasy on exposing the trolls|June 2020 social media posts]] - Chris, [[Spirit possession#Sonichu|while roleplaying as Sonichu]], mentions the CWCki in a rant about the [[trolls]].
*[[June 2021 social media posts#Young Chris|June 2021 social media posts]] - Chris tells the 'Christorians' that they're free to chronicle a bizarre series of tweets where he [[Spirit possession#Younger Chris|roleplays as his pre-name change self]].
*[[July 2021 social media posts#Please update the CWCki|July 2021 social media posts]] - Chris tells the CWCki to update on the lyrics to [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]] as they do not match his intended lines.

==See also==
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[List of Chris's edits to the CWCki]]
*[[CWCipedia]]
*[[CWCki Forums]]

{{references}}

[[Category:CWCki]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Disguises

2022-11-07T00:25:29Z

FireLiz:

As with [[List of Chris's lies|lying]], Chris is not very skilled at the art of disguises and deception.

==Chris's Disguises==

===Chloe===

Chloe is a fictional gal-pal that for once, ''Chris'' had the pleasure of making. She sets herself apart from all the other online girlfriends by allegedly being Chris's "Virgin Breaker" as well as his first kiss; however less than a year later Chris would have no memory of this woman when asked about her. This is most likely because other than not being real, Chloe was simply a placeholder between Chis´s relationships with [[Blanca]] and [[PandaHalo]].
{{main|Chloe}}

===Bill Riley===
{{quote|You know what we should do, we should make him force himself on his counslor [sic]|Novice Troll Bill Riley (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}

[[Image:BillRiley.jpg|thumb|200px|Bill Riley]]

Bill was a 30-year-old man who found nothing strange about female trolls asking about the dimensions of his genitalia. When asked why he was trolling Chris, he claimed that it was because Chris killed [[Clyde Cash]], called him a [[homo]], and sent him a computer virus. He did nothing in the [[IRC_(23_July_2009)|chat]] except lurk, waiting for trolls to reveal a big plan. When pressured into suggesting ideas of his own, Bill suggested that trolls make Chris rape Rocky. When asked how this would troll Chris, he claimed that Chris would "compare himself" to Rocky mid-rape and see how inferior he was.

Bill was the first of Chris's attempts to impersonate a troll. From the start, there are tons of problems, the least of which being that the man in the photograph Chris provided is very clearly over the age of thirty. Chris also made no effort to conceal his highly noticeable Typing Manner. Eventually, he realized he was found out.

{{clear}}

===Junior Jenkins (a.k.a. JenkinsJinkies)===
{{main|JenkinsJinkies}}
{{quote|I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper.|Super Troll JenkinsJinkies (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}

[[Image:Fatjenkins.jpg|thumb|200px|Junior Jenkins]]

In May 2010, Chris attempted to infiltrate the CWCki under the guise of the 14-year-old Junior Jenkins. After about a month of making minor, unnoticed edits, he created the [[Coffee Place]] article in an attempt to get trolls to go after some random lady. Trolls promptly strung him along, convincing Chris that he had become famous. In an attempt to blend in, Chris tried to imitate what he believed to be the mannerisms of an average troll. He claimed to be a fourteen year old Bostonian, which was highly suspicious considering that [[BlueSpike|a certain troll]] hailed from the exact same city and both were of the same age. As usual, Chris made no Effort to disguise his [[Chris and English|Distinct Typing Pattern]]. He would also randomly spout net jargon like "butthurt" and "mindfuck" with no clear idea how those phrases are normally used, at one point using "butthurt" as a verb.

He was also "secretly" terrified of Chris. This was likely another attempt to fit in, only it became a major aspect of Junior's personality after multiple trolls informed him that they were not, in fact, afraid of Chris in the slightest. For example, Junior claimed that he was petrified with shock upon "witnessing" the destruction of Chris's PS3.

Chris abandoned Junior after he became worried that the [[Jerkop|police]] might mistake him for a troll and arrest him.

{{clear}}

===The Real Chris Chandler===
{{quote|I'm just gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!|[[Liquid Chris]] (NOT [[Ian Brandon Anderson|CHRIS]])}}

[[Image:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|200px|Liquid Chris]]
He made no effort to impersonate Liquid's voice, and at one point forgot that he was supposed to be someone else. At one point, he uploaded a video in which he attempted to continue this deception to his own account—something that Liquid would not have been able to do.

Eventually, Chris decided to come clean about it. Kacey was not pleased.

{{clear}}

===Samantha Thaddeus===
{{quote|I gotta do some grocery shopping, Plus I'm having a few cramps|Teenage Girl Samantha Thaddeus (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}

[[Image:Samthad.jpg|thumb|200px|Samantha Thaddeus]]

During the Liquid Saga, Chris attempted to steal Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]]. Kacey [[Kacey Phone Call|spoke to Chris over the phone]], in which Chris attempted to impersonate her lover.
Hilarity ensued when Chris attempted to impersonate [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]]. Despite being in contact with her for an extended period of time prior to assuming control of her email account, his "Samantha" was completely off-track. In his very first email to [[Jack Thaddeus]] under this alias, Chris assumed the mannerisms of a cartoonish male thug working for an evil organization. As Jack strung Chris along, Chris also came into contact with [[Katie Bay E-mails|Katie Bay]]. In both of these emails, Samantha is suddenly a hilarious cross between how Chris thinks women act and how Chris thinks trolls act.

{{clear}}

===Carlos Chantor===
{{main|Carlos Chantor}}
{{quote|Experienced for Her Pleasure.|Sexual Master [[Carlos Chantor]] (NOT [[Virgin|CHRIS]])}}

[[Image:Chantor.jpg|thumb|200px|Carlos Chantor]]
During the summer of 2010, Chris attempted to become a male escort under the alias of Carlos Chantor. He gave up after nobody called him. Oddly enough, this is actually his most practical disguise, as he simply hid away on a corner of the Internet where nobody expected him to go, changed his name, and wore normal clothes. It just goes to show how normal Chris could look if he weren't such a lazy slob.

{{clear}}

===KookyDashy===
{{quote|My mom said "I didn't raise a daughter", and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me.|KookyDashy}}

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|KookyDashy]]
Chris joined [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] under the name KookyDashy in [[May 2011]]. He adopted the alias to avoid his identity as [[Christian Weston Chandler]] impeding his relationship with the tomgirls there, as well as to avoid luring any [[trolls]] to the forum. Naturally of course, he failed.

{{clear}}

===Stephanie Bustcakes===
{{main|Stephanie Bustcakes}}

{{quote|How would you like to spend a little quality time-with this sexy bod, huh?|Sexual Master Stephanie Bustcakes (NOT [[Tomgirl Saga|CHRIS]])}}

[[Image:Stephanie_Bustcakes.png|thumb|200px|Stephanie Bustcakes]]
During the [[Financhu Crisis]], Chris decided to revive his prostitution career, but now that he's a [[Tomgirl Saga|lesbian transwoman]], he used the alias of Stephanie Bustcakes. While he got no takers, his [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|advertisement]] was discovered by someone who sent it to a newly revived [[The CWCville Library|CWCville Library]].

{{clear}}

===Night Star===
{{main|Night Star#Twitter sockpuppet}}

{{quote|"I am an admirer of Miss Chandler and her work. If you're saying She drew my piece based on her character, you are thrown Off, Sir."|[[Sonichu Girls|Sonichu Fangirl]] Emily (NOT CHRIS)<ref>https://twitter.com/NightStar2891/status/893629626555052032</ref>}}

[[File:NightStar2.jpg|thumb|200px|Night Star]]

In 2017, Chris created a sockpuppet account on Twitter under the name of his [[My Little Pony|ponysona]]. Before admitting that he was in control of the account, he used it to stalk two users who had blocked him, [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] and Tabitha St. Germain, claiming it was run by a fangirl named Emily (not to be confused with the [[Emily|troll Emily]]). Chris went in depth to hide the fact that this was a Twitter sockpuppet created because Doopie had blocked him, even sending [[the Man in the Pickle Suit]] a chatlog between his two accounts. He also claimed that he had tried to visit her at the [[McDonald's]] that she worked at, but she was scared away due to those dang, dirty trolls claiming that she is Chris. Chris eventually admitted that Night Star was a sockpuppet on 15 August.

After his Twitter fight with [[LadyOfTheCosmo]], Chris revived the account in a bid to roleplay how the terms [[Darling|"dear" and "darling"]] should be used in normal conversation.

{{clear}}

==See also==
*[[List of Chris's lies]]
*[[Chris and cosplaying]]

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Chris]]

Saga

2022-11-06T22:37:14Z

FireLiz: /* Doopie Saga (7 March - 26 September 2017) */

{{Honest}}
{{Protip|Contacting Chris does not make a saga, even if it gets a response. Getting your own saga in Christory is also ''NOT'' an achievement. [[Julie|Just]] [[Megan|ask]] [[Idea Guys|these]] [[Bella|people]].

 In addition, it is important to note that sagas by definition occur for a number of reasons, regardless of troll involvement. These sagas are about Chris, not you.}}
{{Illustrations}}

{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}

A "'''saga'''" (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is a story arc of events on the [[CWChronology]], documenting Chris' actions during a specific span of time.

==Meta-sagas==
For nearly two decades, Chris has been going through one tumult or another. However, throughout each of these, Chris has had a [[autism|special interest]] or obsession that would follow him through all of them, and would define him as a person. Indeed, this central focus of his life would serve to unite his sagas with a common theme: a near-certain way to get a reaction out of Chris would be by winning his trust through feeding his special interest, and then exploiting it for Laughs Under Lucricities. For most of Christory, this would be pretending to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]], but more recently this has transmuted into [[Chris and his Ego|feigning to worship]] him. As they are threads running through and linking together, and are the broadest strokes of Chris's life, they can be considered ''meta-sagas'', beyond and more fundamental than the fleeting fancies of any individual [[troll]].

===Love Quest (ca. 2003 - March 2018; January 2021-Present)===
[[File:LoveQuestSaga.png|500px]]

''The'' quintessential saga, and the one that introduced this word to the Christorian's lexicon. Sometime early in his career at PVCC, Chris decided that he needed a girlfriend to call his own. Beset on all sides by the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]] (read: women were repulsed by his unusual mannerisms), the [[virgin with rage]] resorted to increasingly desperate and bizarre methods of obtaining one, which have seen him [[List of places that have banned Chris|expelled and banned]] from multiple reputable establishments. After his discovery by the Internet, Chris would flutter from one professed girlfriend to another, thinking that each might be the [[CWCisms#H|heartsweet]] that might end this search once and for all. Alas, it was not meant to be, and Chris often found himself betrayed and humiliated in comical and grotesque ways. The Love Quest survived several upheavals in Chris's life, including his father's death, the loss of his virginity, the house fire and his gender transition (see below), yet despite Christorians' predictions, and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle Man]]'s injunctions, finally concluded in [[March 2018]], when a mentally eroded Chris declared himself in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his [[Chris and reality|fictional characters]].

The Love Quest would seem to come back in full force by the beginning of 2021, and much more intense than before, with Chris expressing sexual frustrations to Watchmen members, wishing to get a physical girlfriend. He would crush on multiple women of interest all at once and have wet dreams that involved cartoon characters. It would get intense to the point of releasing this sexual frustration on his own mother, leading to dire consequences.
{{Love Quest}}

===Transgender Saga (''30 March 2011 - Present'')===
[[File:TransgenderSaga.png|500px]]

In [[2011]], Chris began the process of gender transitioning. In March of that year, he starting cross-dressing and later came out as a "tomgirl". Despite resistance from his parents, Chris continued down the transgender path, exploring his gender identity. In 2014, he briefly identified as a lesbian male, and a year later, settled on identifying as a lesbian transwoman.
{{Sexuality}}

===Business Saga (''3 July 2014 - 8 June 2016''; ''June 2017 - July 2021'')===
Although this Saga began during the Sonic Boom Saga, it ultimately outlasted it. Chris realized during this Saga that he could make significantly large amounts of [[money]] by selling his own products, including Medallions and customized [[Sonichu Amiibo]]s, first on [[eBay]], then on [[Etsy]]. This Saga is notable for featuring the return of frequent video uploads by Chris. Inevitably, Chris's laziness got the better of him (again) and he failed to ship out multiple orders. As his interest in making money dwindled, the [[Financhu Crisis]] began to strain the Chandler finances. Chris failed to get his act together, resulting in him getting banned from selling on Etsy on 8 June 2016, halting the Saga. There were a [[Paid Video Requests|few]] [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff|recurrences]] where Chris attempted to profit from his own products again, but these were expectedly fruitless and short-lived. In [[May 2017]], Chris began drawing [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] pages again after a 561-day hiatus, and in June, he resumed monetizing ''Sonichu'' comics, by setting pages as rewards on his [[Patreon]] account and again offering printed books from [[Lulu]].

Through 2018 and 2019, Chris has grown neglectful of his commercial obligations, failing to produce Sonichu pages and ship items, culminating in his restriction from [[eBay]] on 16 June 2019.

Chris' Patreon was shut down in [[August 2021]] after he was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] for [[Affair with Mother|incest]].

{{BusinessList}}
===Financhu Crisis Saga (''12 April 2016 - Present'')===
[[File:FinanchuSaga.png|500px]]
{{main|Financhu Crisis}}
Coined by the members of the [[Kiwi Farms]], this saga began when Chris released [[Please, Donate|a video]] asking for donations in exchange for gifts. Then, he cut out the gifts, and when his Etsy shop was closed, resorted to straight begging, [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|prostitution]], and [[By random request; I still need money, please|video]] [[Update 20160718|requests]]; all while continuing to buy over $1,000 worth of toys and only selling [[Update 20160718|'''THREE POKÉMON CARDS''']] at this saga's beginning, and putting various worthless junk on eBay for exorbitant prices. Chris was eventually able to sell the [[Sonic Totem|Sonic totem]] for $1500 only to [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017|immediately admit to wasting the profits]] on toys and a [[$400 gold necklace]] to replace one Barb previously pawned; a selfish act that shows the full extent of Chris and Barb's financial incompetency. His begging also goes to the point of [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Who wants to pay our mortgage?!|asking on Facebook]] for someone to pay his mortgage. This also shows Chris's [[ego]], since he [[Announcement 06292016|treats his monetary problems that he caused as a charity]].

In June 2017, Chris began to take his Patreon more seriously by actually working on the Sonichu comic; as a result, his Patreon earnings skyrocketed to hundreds of dollars per month and mitigated his desire to beg for money. As a result, Chris stopped begging in July. However, he remained deeply in debt and showed no signs of developing greater financial responsibility.

In late 2017 and early 2018 work on ''Sonichu'' slowed, as did Chris's Patreon donations. Around this time, Chris later claimed he needed to cover an unknown but essential large expenditure which he refuses to discuss in detail. As a result, Chris resumed begging and selling items on eBay with greater intensity than ever, peaking in early May when he made [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE|a trilogy of panicked videos]] revealing that a mortgage payment on [[14 Branchland Court]] was due soon and that the unknown expenditure had left him and Barb unable to cover it. Though Chris was saved by an influx of donations and eBay sales, the Chandlers' financial situation evidently remains more desperate than ever.

===Roleplaying Saga (''August 2017 - Present'')===
[[File:Escapist Saga Banner.png|600px]]

As a maladaptive coping mechanism against the bleakness of his [[reality]], Chris's belief in imaginary friends and magical thinking drastically increased, one example of him dancing with [[Magi-Chan]] at the 2017 [[BronyCon]]. After the [[Idea Guys]], the [[Teen Troon Squad]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and [[other enablers|other successive enablers]] further fueled his fantasies by validating them, Chris retreated even more into his fantasy world. It was once again re-enforced by the [[COVID-19]] pandemic due to the fact that it cancelled all the conventions Chris was planning to attend in [[2020]].

On 19 September 2021, Chris wrote a letter in jail, where he declares himself as Jesus of Nazareth.

{{Coping}}

===Dimensional Merge (''14 October 2018 - 3 August 2021'')===
[[File:Merge saga.png|500px]]
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

Due to the influence of the Idea Guys and Teen Troon Squad, ideas of a dimensional merge began to manifest within Chris. This came to a head in [[October 2018]], when Chris uploaded a video where he announced that our dimension will soon merge with another. He has revised the deadline for this prophecy several times. This was followed by several months of him droning about it on Twitter, even during his Soft Exile (described below). Various weens, including [[Sarah and Steve]], would circumvent new Twitter restrictions through physical mail or other channels, seeking to encourage him further; in [[April 2019]] things went to a new level when [[Future_message_from_Crystal_W_Chandler|a video]] was posted of a masked man reading a letter supposedly from a time-traveling [[Reginald Chandler]] announcing the merge.

{{Fantasies}}

==Pre-Christory (''[[Birthday|24 February 1982]] - June 2000'')==

The world at large discovered Christian Weston Chandler on 27 October 2007. Before this time, we have only a scanty record to the details of Chris's life. For the early Noughties, the earlier ''Sonichu'' comics (especially [[Sonichu 4]]) are a substantial, if biased, record of notable events; Chris has supplemented this with several other records, including his [[diary]], and some videos from the time (such as his 2004 Christmas) have been leaked. For the twentieth century, which includes all of Chris's childhood and [[honor roll|high school years]], our records are much sparser. Some content, such as [[Manchester High Leaks|some school papers]] and [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|television footage]], have been unearthed, though much remains unknown or dubious. Indeed, much of our knowledge of Chris's childhood comes from later accounts by Chris. However, Chris's childhood is what made him the manchild he is today, so we must discuss it when discussing him.

===Early Childhood Saga (''24 February 1982 - 1991'')===

Chris was brought upon onto the world on 24 February 1982.

When Chris was eighteen months old, an abusive babysitter named Roach (or Roche) locked Chris in a room filled with nothing but toys. This was allegedly the event that led to Chris's autism, though actual scientific evidence points to it being an inborn disorder. Some accounts describe the room as a closet, while others describe it as a playroom. In any case, the trauma turned young Christopher from talkative to mute. He wouldn't speak or vocalize again until the age of seven.

<center>{{ChildhoodSaga}}</center>

===Nathanael Greene Saga (''1991-92'')===
Chris was allegedly abused at Nathanael Greene Elementary School by the principal and other members of staff. According to Chris, they pinned him down and recorded him screaming. His father then moved the family to Richmond and took legal action against the school district. The case was dropped in 1994. Chris claims that he had very uncomfortable experiences with one allegedly gay teacher at Nathanael Greene which Chris uses to justify his homophobia. Chris and his father also believed that the Greene County school system was not qualified to teach autistic children and Chris would spend his fifth grade being homeschooled by his parents in order to protect him from the perceived danger of the public school system. He and his family relocated to the Richmond area on the other side of the state, where he'd spend the remainder of his years as a minor.
{{GreeneSaga}}

===Leonard Bearstein Saga (''December 1992 – February 1994'')===
[[File:The Leonard Bearstein Saga.jpg|500px]]

On Christmas of '92, shortly after Chris's move to Richmond, he encountered a miracle. Up until this point, his full name had been Christopher Weston Chandler. Then, he saw an animatronic orchestra playing popular Christmas tunes at the local mall. The orchestra was headed by one Leonard Bearstein, a robotic bear controlled by an operator behind the scenes.

The bear would often interact with the kids, and when Chris told him his name was Christopher, the bear misheard him as saying Christian. Chris took it as a sign from God, while Bob believed it was the bear's British accent. In any case, Chris started going by Christian and had his name legally changed in court the next year. He wouldn't change it again [[transgender|until 2016]].

More importantly, this saga would also mark some of the first instances of Chris's ego being stroked. Most notably in how this particular event had been alleged to be the direct cause of him finding an autism-friendly school, and winning the Sonic the Hedgehog Sweepstakes.

{{BearsteinSaga}}

===High School Saga (''August 1996-June 2000'')===
[[File:The High School Saga.png|500px]]

In many senses, Chris peaked in high school. He holds his high school memories and gal-pals dear to his heart. From a positive view, he had his [[gal pal]]s, [[honor roll]], and job as a <s>water boy</s> basketball team manager, and he produced a high volume of [[art]], which included [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] himself. On the flip side, he got an [[Song of Christian|F in English]] and had to ride on the short bus. Graduation was especially painful when he didn't win a not-so-prestigious best artist award.

<center>{{HighSchoolSaga}}</center>

==Early Adult Chronicles (''June 2000 – 27 October 2007'')==
Chris came of age in 2000, a time of many transitions. Once he graduated from [[Manchester High]], he was no longer in the safe, regimented world of compulsory education. No more guaranteed or arranged friendships, and the kid gloves have come off. Colleges are also stricter when setting student accommodations, and professors don't always have time for special arrangements. Additionally, Chris got a taste of the real world at [[Wendy's]], which fired him for [[Donald Duck impersonation|multiple]] [[Cousin_Al#Bowling_Outing|reasons]].

The little boy who [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|was once doing so well]] now had to make his life work outside of school. Of course, some programs can help autistic folks find work, but Chris figured that was too [[stress]]ful. Instead, he took the easy route with help from [[Bob]]: he applied for [[Monthly tugboat|social security disability checks]]. While fellow students had to balance their schedules with jobs, Chris had all the time in the world to focus on school. After graduating, his whole life became free time. Without a job, Chris had little motivation to get his life together.

While scarcer than in modern times, records for this period are much more substantial than those of Chris's childhood. Even without external provocation or influence, the events of this period, including the Love Quest and the first ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s, were enough to make Chris an Internet legend and would lay the foundation for everything yet to come.

===PVCC Saga (''September 2000 - May 2006'')===
[[File:The PVCC Saga.png|500px]]

From [[2000]] to [[2006]], Chris attended Piedmont Virginia Community College, a local community college, to obtain a degree in [[Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. It took him five years of [[Chris's education|schooling]] to complete an ostensibly two-year degree, and this time in his life was not without drama. His 21st birthday in [[2003]] marked the beginning of the [[Love Quest]]. Chris would go around campus carrying a [[sign]] showing his demands for an ideal partner. [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a dean at [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]], confiscated the signs. He retaliated by making more; he even printed some out to put around campus walls. Chris eventually confronted Walsh, who [[banned]] him from PVCC for a year. Chris had to receive a [[autism papers|psychological evaluation]] to be allowed back on campus, and he began using the sign in other locations. Chris immortalized Walsh as a cartoon villain in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]].

<center>{{PVCCSaga}}</center>

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - April 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg|500px]]

From 2005 to 21 April 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved... excluding Chris. The saga would end when Megan told Chris [[Megan_emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore|she could no longer trust him]]. Nonetheless, Chris has refused to let her go, and his useless attempts at making amends have stretched all the way to ''2018'' (for reference, that's a ''decade'' since Megan cut off ties with him).

<center>{{MeganSaga}}</center>
===Stackhouse Saga (''June - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg|500px]]

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|contest]] to win Megan's heart (more or less her china too), only to be beaten by a much superior entry made by one Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time an unsuspecting member of the public inadvertently caused a saga. From then on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

Over a decade after the Saga concluded, Chris finally made peace with Stackhouse after the latter made a surprise appearance in the audience for [[MAGfest#The_Christory_of_Sonichu_panel|Chris's panel]] at [[MAGfest]] 2018.

<center>{{StackhouseSaga}}</center>

==Classic Chris Era (''27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010'')==
The era that most associate with Chris. The mists of antiquity begin to fade on 27 October 2007, when an unrelated thread on the ''Something Awful'' forums was derailed by someone mentioning seeing our epic cycle's hero in the flesh.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg|500px]]

In November 2007, trolls would discover Chris and create a page about him on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Chris would initially think that they just got his information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, in the process destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm, although the site has long since fallen out of relevance in Chris's life, replaced with outlets such as the [[Kiwi Farms]].

<center>{{EDSaga}}</center>
===Blanca Saga (''August - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg|500px]]

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[white knight]]ing efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain Chris's [[medallions]] and film a video of them cutting one up and [[Fire|setting it ablaze]].

<center>{{BlancaSaga}}</center>
=== GAMe PLACe Saga (''August 2008 - June 2014'')===
[[File:Game Place.jpg|500px]]

Currently the second-longest saga in Christory. For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain in the ass to store manager [[Michael Snyder]], and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain, Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, and [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael [[CWC is Angry|to shoot at]], but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They also had to pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

Being the second-longest saga to date, it's little wonder why Barb believes it's at the center of all the trolling.

Finally, on 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' However, this would later be proven dishonest when [[October 2014|6 months later]] he made an angry post on Facebook where he pins all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "homosexual jerk", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan until she apologizes for what she's done. His plans were soon foiled in June 2014, however, when it was revealed on the [[Kiwi Farms]] that the GAMe PLACe was shut down for good. Regardless, he ''still'' holds a grudge against Mike.

<center>{{GamePlaceSaga}}</center>

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''mid/late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg|500px]]

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he was led to believe that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

<center>{{JimmyHillSaga}}</center>

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - mid-2010)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg|500px]]

In 2008, Chris encountered a new troll named Clyde Cash, who went on a months-long trolling spree to get back at the autistic wonder for supposedly causing his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]]. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

<center>{{ClydeCashSaga}}</center>
===PandaHalo Saga (''mid/late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg|500px]]

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when he found out that she was supposedly found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, the ever-gullible Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian [[Brushfire Video|brushfires]], despite living miles away from the incident; question remains as to whether she really died in this event, or was actually working in tandem with Clyde, their relationship being consensual after all. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

<center>{{PandaSaga}}</center>
===Miyamoto Saga (''January - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg|500px]]

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by a troll posing as [[Nintendo]] developer [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], claiming he would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Unfortunately, Chris proved to be nothing more than a couch potato, and his ineptitude resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, "[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]" shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

<center>{{MiyamotoSaga}}</center>
===Julie Saga (''February - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg|500px]]

Arguably ''the'' most divisive and controversial out of Chris's trolls until the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Bella]]. In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a 13-year-old troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]] and then torture Chris in many ways in the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] chat, where he forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to shove it up the dumper. BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris, as well as his arguably abusive ways of trolling him, would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki. One other less disturbing yet no less fascinating incident that came about as a result of this Saga was the [[Ohio Trip]]; taking place just a week before the infamous reveal, Chris was willing to drive hundreds of miles to Cleveland in the hopes of rescuing Julie from Max and Clyde Cash; needless to say, this has been the furthest he's driven for any Sweetheart, and since then Chris was unwilling to drive significantly shorter distances to meet later potential girlfriends such as [[Kacey]] and [[Jackie]] in the years that followed.

<center>{{JulieSaga}}</center>

===PSN Hacking Saga (''February 2009 - 27 August 2010'')===

After Clyde had faked his death, he came back and hacked into Chris's PSN account, to which Chris would attempt to convince Vivian Gee to pay him back after Clyde used up $15 from his account. Clyde would however be outpreformed by a greater enemy, [[Jack Thaddeus]].

<center>{{PS3Saga}}</center>

===Emily Saga (''March 2009 - 25 May 2014'')===
A troll in Chris's area named Emily Schifflet noticed that he wouldn't remember her face, so she decided to play multiple troll characters in Chris's life. One of them was Emily, who met Chris for a staged IRL date before going out with a man in a pickle suit. Another was [[Kim Wilson]], a platonic gal-pal who hung out with Chris in real life and online. This troll would also go under the name "Scarlet" while playing the Kim character.

<center>{{EmilySaga}}</center>

===Ivy Saga (''March - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg|500px]]

In March 2009, a girl named Ivy decided to impress a friend by asking Chris for a video shout-out. She didn't know what would come later; his crush towards her would lead him to create 3 special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and Christorians, but also provided an incredibly important resource for the latter in showing Chris's [[Heart Level]] at perhaps the strongest it had been since 2007, at least for a time. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's (fabricated) suicide.

<center>{{IvySaga}}</center>
===Vanessa Saga (''April - May 2009'')===
[[Image:Vanessa Saga.png|500px]]

In [[April 2009]], troll and fellow [[James Madison University|speech therapy]] attendee [[Joshua Martinez]] succeeded in getting Chris to believe that the ''High School Musical'' actress and pop star [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was in contact with him, through Joshua's AIM, in retaliation for Chris's horrible attempt at getting [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] to [[Vanessa_Saga#Email_to_Joshua|troll him]] like Chris, himself, had been trolled. Chris would create videos to show that he was movie-star material, going so far as to [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|cheat]] on his current [[troll|true and honest]] [[Ivy|sweetheart]]. Predictably, [[Chris and reality|he wasn't]] exactly the type Vanessa was looking for.

This [[Vanessa Saga|saga]] goes to show that even the most gullible of things can get by Chris, even when the perceived truth is a [[Weening|horrible]] [[Autism|excuse]] of ammunition against the poor manchild, which just shows how desperate he may be for [[Love Quest|romantic attention]].

<center>{{VanessaSaga}}</center>
===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg|500px]]

In early June 2009, Chris was given his own wiki to upload his comics and blog about his personal life, safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

After 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

<center>{{CWCipediaSaga}}</center>
===Liquid Chris Saga (''21 June - 10 November 2009'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg|500px]]

In July 2009, Chris came up with a plan to try getting the trolls off his back. He [[Rollin' and Trollin'|faked a revelation]] that he was apparently a troll himself who is the complete opposite of Chris in real life. Along then came the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, which got the other Chris (at this point nicknamed [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and Solid Chris) really pent up with rage. Ian would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, after a [[Kacey calls|long]] [[Father Call|series]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|of]] [[The End for Real|calls]] that proved Ian to be unworthy of her love, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July 2011.

<center>{{LiquidSaga}}</center>
===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 10 January 2012'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg|500px]]

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fanfiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and his identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]]. This later turned out to be fake as months later, the ''real'' Christopher Paul Whitney made a response to Chris and essentially confirmed he was not Alec.

<center>{{AsperchuSaga}}</center>
===Tito Saga (''January 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg|500px]]

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with [[The Wallflower]], hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal... and release her name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the lulz spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|flashing his underwear while wearing a Scottish kilt]]. At the same time, Chris discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. To put it bluntly, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

<center>{{TitoSaga}}</center>

==Dark Ages (''20 March 2010 to 3 September 2014'')==
Though [[The Miscreants|the Miscreants]] could collectively keep Chris on edge for well over a year, it was inevitable that the archetypical lolcow would someday cease to give milk. His seeking out the Wallflower and then Jackie in person, instead of believing every self-declared boyfriend-free girl who caught his fancy online, was an early sign of the changing atmosphere: Chris's ill-fated attempt to seduce her marked a shift from focusing on on-line to real-world affairs. Information on Chris's life would increasingly need to be sought through [[Flipnote Hatena]], in-person encounters and other sources beside the Internet; [[Chris and cinematography|traditional videos]] became less frequent. Occasional [[muscle bra|transvestitism]] would soon become [[tomgirl|permanent]] as Chris began to leave his old identity behind him. Surprisingly, Chris would come to abstain even from his traditional [[Love Quest|pursuit of women]] and put the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] on indefinite hiatus.

All sagas during this period are of this early transitional phase: [[Bob Chandler]]'s death in late [[2011]] drew a veil over Chris's affairs for the next several years. Direct records from Chris during this time are nearly exclusively found on [[Facebook]]; for a time, it appeared that Chris had learnt from his many years of abuse at the Internet's hands and was finally keeping a low profile. We are again dependent mostly on third-party sources for events such as [[28 October 2011|Snyder's near-death at Chris's hands]], the resulting [[Chris and the law|conviction]] and the [[2014 house fire]] in the following years. Organic CWC-generated activity would not re-emerge until mid-[[2014]], proving that he had, in fact, [[honor roll|learnt nothing]] from past events.

===First Exile (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===
[[File:Exile.jpg|500px]]

After Chris lost the Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down several times. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

<center>{{FirstExile}}</center>

===Jackie Saga (''5 April - 26 November 2010; 7 December 2010 - May 2012'')===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg|500px]]

Following the Wallflower incident's fallout, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party--[[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend--stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, leading many to believe that the Jackie saga had finished.

However, in [[December 2010|December]], Jackie and Chris were in contact again. This would not be known until 2013, where a whole bunch of emails from then to [[September 2011]] were leaked. During this time, Chris came out as a tomgirl to her, while she later got Chris to make a bunch of humiliating videos, including [[Cakefarts]]. These would be leaked in [[February 2012]], leading to Chris unfriending her on Facebook in [[April 2012|April]], though refriending her a month later. She was never heard from again, putting an end to the saga.

<center>{{JackieSaga}}</center>

===Calling Out Saga (''6 August - 6 September 2011'')===
[[Image:Call_Out.png|500px]]

During the beginning of [[August 2011|August]], Chris began to release videos as an attempt to get some sort of [[fangs|reprisal]] and [[Chris and his Ego|apology]] out of the [[trolls#The Few, the Proud, the Elite|trolls]]. Chris warned the trolls that if they didn't meet his [[Chris and negotiation#Calling Out|demands]] on the [[Stress|deadline]] Chris had set for them, then Chris would leak information [[Naïve|that he believed to be true]], even though most believe some of the information to be [[Kimmi|fake]]. This saga is notable for [[Calling Out#Summary|videos]] that showcase Chris's new [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] look, and further set in stone the aformentioned [[Tomgirl Saga]]. Though Chris reached the zenith of the Calling Out Saga on a high, having believed himself to have exiled some of his most prominent rivals from the internet, these series of videos would, however, come to an abrupt [[September 2011#Events|end]] after [[Chris and death#Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. (1927–2011)|tragedy struck the Chandler household]].

<center>{{CallingOutSaga}}</center>

===Second Exile (''6 September 2011 - 9 July 2014'')===
[[File:CWC Exile II Banner.png|500px]]

Unlike the other exiles listed here, the Second CWC Exile came unannounced with the death of his [[Bob Chandler|father]]. Then came [[28 October 2011|October 28]], a day which will live in infamy for Chris. After trespassing and running over [[Michael Snyder]], he and [[Barb]] were arrested. Despite the help of [[Rob Bell]], they were found guilty and were sentenced. Since that day, most, if not all of Chris' internet activity were confined to his [[Facebook]] account, where he would gripe about loneliness and nostalgia. It wasn't until 2013 where he uploaded a new video. Although [[January 2014]] would bring him back to the spotlight briefly due to [[2014 house fire|a house fire]], it wasn't until the Sonic Boom saga where he would return to relevance.
{{SecondExile}}

==Renaissance (''3 September 2014 to 24 October 2017'')==
A combination of events - namely yet another failed online sweetheart, and showing hatred for a ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' reboot so immense that it would eventually get him arrested - would lead to Chris being dragged back into the Internet spotlight.

===Catherine Saga (''9 July - 14 December 2014'')===
[[File:catherinesaga.png|500px]]

With his newly acquired feminine wiles from his transition to a Tomgirl, Chris managed to attract a sweetheart who would be his first lesbian romance. In the summer of 2014, Chris would reveal he had found a new sweetheart, whose identity he managed to surprisingly conceal for period of time. Later, he would [[I Love You, Catherine|reveal]] that her name was Catherine. Predictably, she turned out to be a troll, who revealed much about Chris having met with him twice. Catherine's associate, [[Cousin Al]], would also meet the two of them at Applebee's, to which Chris would invite both of them to the charred remains of his house following a fire. From there, Al would collect several of Chris's old Manchester High assignments.

According to Catherine, his [[Catherine#The Date|behavior had not improved]] since the sexual harassment in the early days of the Megan Saga, and neither had the Chandlers's [[Rental House|comprehension of basic sanitation]]. In addition to Catherine's observation on her personal encounters, Chris also announced he had got a piercing on his [[Un-clit|perineum]], meaning this Saga provides some more detail on Chris's disturbing new features as a Tomgirl.

<center>{{CatherineSaga}}</center>

=== Sonic Boom Saga (''3 September 2014 - 7 December 2015'')===
[[Image:SonicBoomSagaBanner.png|500px]]

This Saga began with Chris grumbling on [[Facebook]] about the announcement of the latest [[Sonic]] game, ''[[Sonic Boom]]''. Chris wasn't alone in his discontent; many of his Facebook friends expressed disapproval about the deteriorating quality of the Sonic games. What made Chris unique in his irritation, is that the fact that Chris only took umbrage at the fact that the color of Sonic's arms had been changed from tan to blue.

This baffled most of his white knights, with [[William Elliott Waterman]] trying to explain just how ludicrous Chris's demands to Sega to revert back to blue were, especially considering ''Sonic Boom'' was not part of the ''Sonic'' canon. The fact that Sega had no control in the design of Sonic's arms did not deter him and, thanks to his white knights who unwaveringly encouraged him, he began to protest. Initially, his protest against the "Blue-Armed Bandit" took the form of Facebook boycott groups, petitions, and [[Death Threats|angry messages]] on Sega Facebook pages.

On [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]], however, this Saga came into bloom, culminating in Chris's second pending court case. Despite warnings from even his most loyal white knights, Chris had decided to take it upon himself to bring the protest into the real world. He went into his local GameStops and vandalized the display cases, including stores he had [[List of places that have banned Chris|previously been banned from]]. It was during his visit to one of these stores that had banned Chris that resulted in his arrest on Boxing Day. Chris had been seen and asked to leave by the [[manajerks|management]]. After initially ignoring their requests he made his way towards the exit and, whilst on the way out, maced an employee, who hadn't been involved in his removal. As a result, Chris spent the weekend in jail, only to have Barb bail him out afterwards.

Despite this, he continues to go on a tard rage over Sonic's blue arms, calling out Kengle because he owns a ''comic'' with blue-armed Sonic, sending glitterbombs to Sega, and buying a Sonic Boom doll just to rip its arms off.

Later though, Chris claims victory in the blue arms debacle, due to Sonic the Hedgehog being his non-blue-armed form in ''Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games''. He says this is the final update for the group, but only time will tell if he's telling the truth.

Ultimately, after six days in court, Chris was found guilty on 15 October 2015 for the GameStop incident and was fined $541 along with a 180-day probation. Thus, the Blue Arms Saga ends (or has it?). Months later, Chris instructed his fanbase to [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers|boycott]] local stores which refused his request to be unbanned.

<center>{{SonicBoomSaga}}</center>

===Lady Managers Saga (17 November 2015 - July 2016)===
[[File:LadyManagersSaga.png|500px]]

Between fall 2015 and summer 2016, Chris was in contact with people he vaguelly dubbed his ladyfriends or managers. During this time, he would be trolled by various characters - [[Jeff/Francine]] Ouzos, a thinly-disguised parody and wealthy rival of Chris; [[Sam and Ellen]], a lesbian couple considering Chris as a sperm donor, to whom he showed off his [[Chris's Specimen Sample|frozen sperm collection]]; and [[Johan]], the catalyst for the [[Lesbian Sex Audition]].

This saga saw the return of Chris uploading videos to YouTube after a years-long hiatus.

{{LadySaga}}

===Pmurt Saga (25 September 2016 - 20 January 2017)===
[[File:Pmurt Saga.png|500px]]

The saga started with a [[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote|Facebook comment on 25 September]] in where he decried then Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for his anti-LGBTQ opinions and misogynistic attitudes, labeling him "Pmurt" in an attempt to spite him. Many found this comment surprising, as Chris has been historically neutral in politics. As the election drew closer, Chris continued to criticize Trump, seemingly oblivious to the irony that any negative trait he could levy was far more applicable to himself. This saga reached its peak when Trump was elected president. During this point, he would make [[Pmurt#2016|death threats to him]]. This culminated in a one-week ban from Facebook.

On Inauguration day, Chris would make [[The United States of America has NO President or Vice President, Whatsoever|one last attack]]. Although Chris still holds negative opinions of Pmurt, he is not nearly as expressive with his vitriol as he was during this saga. Even when Trump was impeached, Chris gave no thoughts on it.
{{PmurtSaga}}

===Doopie Saga (''7 March - 26 September 2017'')===
[[File:DoopieSaga.png|500px]]

Also coined by the [[Kiwi Farms]], this saga began when Chris [[2017 tweets#Empathizing with BPD|made a tweet]] empathizing with ''Planet Dolan'' animator and artist [https://www.youtube.com/user/DoopieDoOver DoopieDoOver]. He began frequently replying to her tweets, usually with small talk and the occasional sharing of a life experience, or shameless attempts at flirting. The saga's climax began on 1 August, when Chris pledged to Doopie's alternative Patreon account, "Kittenbell", which handles pornographic commissions. The same day, Chris listed her among his [[Gal pals]] on "National Girlfriend Day", only for her to promptly rebuke him.
Afterward, Doopie tweeted about the harassment she was receiving (from Chris), went to the Kiwi Farms, and leaked his private e-mails to her business account. Chris discovered that Doopie had turned on him and desperately followed several of Doopie's friends (including her [[JERKS|boyfriend]]) in an attempt to stay connected. However, he unfollowed most of them when it became clear his plan would not work, while the rest blocked him themselves.

Doopie has not contacted Chris since August 2017; his hopes of building her into a [[sweetheart]] or [[gal pal]] from the ground up, predictably, were in vain. By September, Chris had found a new sweetheart and moved on. Their interactions showed that Chris's immense [[Chris and socialization|social ineptitude]] and creepy behavior have not abated. Doopie inadvertently became the greatest [[Trolls|troll]] Chris faced in many years, [[Heart level|breaking his heart]] and feeding new information to Christorians.

<center>{{DoopieSaga}}</center>

===Quinn Saga (''7 September - 5 October 2017'')===
[[File:Quinn Saga.png|500px]]

Jessica Quinn, for years a [[white knight]] of Chris, suddenly decided to troll him with the tried-and-true method of [[Sweetheart|pretending to fall in love with him]]. Highlights of the brief saga include pictures and videos of Chris crying over a short breakup, an old-fashioned [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|rage video]] following their final breakup (which he initially blamed on hackers from [[Kiwi Farms]]), and Quinn manipulating Chris into adding fat fetishism to ''Sonichu''. This saga would serve as the transition for the new wave of trolling yet to come for Chris.

<center>{{QuinnSaga}}</center>

==Transcendental Awakening (''August 2017 to 30 July 2021'')==

After a period of reemergence from Chris, several trolls soon began to notice Chris' deteriorating mental state, and found it the perfect opportunity to troll him again, this time through the tactic of [[enablers|enabling]] his beliefs and brainwashing new ridiculous concepts into him. This all began with [[Joshua Wise]], an anime-obsessed troll who greatly manipulated him for his own personal gain by changing major parts of the canon of his Sonichu comics, coercing him into producing strange videos, and proposing the [[Polyamorous marriage|infamous marriage]] between Chris and a bunch of fictional characters, half of which Chris had already created.

Chris' new motto to [[Chris and kindness|befriend everyone he meets]], even complete strangers, has also made it much easier to manipulate him. Because of this, many other trolls began to follow suit, using some of the same tactics that Wise had used to manipulate Chris with, with very little questioning on his end. Since then, Chris has started to believe himself to be the goddess of an alternate dimension, dubbing himself and all other residents of said dimension as "[[OCs]]".

===Idea Guys Saga (''25 October 2017 - 29 April 2018'')===
[[Image:Ideaguysaga image.png|500px]]

In early November 2017, Chris began blurting out nonsensical stories about [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]], such as the characters of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] invading [[CWCville]], CWCville reacting to the invasion by setting up [[Operation BARBarossa|concentration camps]], and Vladimir Putin being president of the United States in another dimension. He also began making strange videos involving Internet memes and cultural and historical references he clearly did not understand.

It came to light that an anonymous troll, acting as Chris' "idea guy", noted Chris' difficulty distinguishing [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]] and lack of understanding of history and politics, and began convincing Chris to make bizarre or politically incorrect content. There are signs that the Idea Guy's influence was coercive or deceptive in nature, such as Chris being [[Chris and hypocrisy|shocked]] at his suggestion that Rosechu was [[Homos#Transgenderism|transgender]], and appearing visibly uncomfortable as he performed an "[[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] [[Cherokee|Cherokean]] chant".

After a calm period in early January, the saga escalated again as Chris made [[Smashing|two]] [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis|bizarre]] videos of ranting about Nazis and smashing his possessions. Possibly as a response, moderators at [[Kiwi Farms]] doxxed the Idea Guy troll, revealing his name as Joshua Wise.

Despite that setback, Wise decided to continue being the Idea Guy. His changes to ''Sonichu'' remained canon, with Chris continuing to produce drawings using ideas which Wise had established prior to the dox, and Chris continued to proudly wear the [[Chris and fashion#Gopnik outfit|Gopnik outfit]] which Wise first convinced him to don.

Chris subsequently announced that he was bisexual, and was attracted to [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his own fursona]] and said he had gotten married to [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]]. More questionable acts such as Chris [[Dick Licker; that is I|licking pictures of Magi-chan's penis drawn on a wall]] and prostituting himself on Twitter were scripted and executed.

In May 2018, [[The Captain]] discovered what the Idea Guys were doing and rescued Chris from the Idea Guys. He, along with [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]] and [[Null]], then gathered evidence to submit to law enforcement. As for Chris, he disavowed some ideas given to him by the Idea Guys (though keeping the majority of them, like his make-believe marriage).

<center>{{IdeaGuySaga}}</center>

===Prequel Comic Saga (''2 January 2018 - 14 May 2018'')===
[[File:PrequelComicSaga.png|500px]]

On 2 January 2018, the graphic designer and comic creator [[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan Shickley]] would get the attention of Chris after he had created "Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic". Bryan then soon claimed that he would make merchandise off of the francise, to which Chris approved. During a time when Chris was in financial ruin, which was later worsened after the Idea Guys extorted money from him, the comic, along with the merchandise created by Bryan, would become some of the first things that Chris would promote to help him out of his dire financial situation.

Bryan's comic would also get Chris to reflect on some of his biggest blunders, including SheCameForCWC.jpg, him attemping to run over Michael Snyder, and others.

A highlight of the brief saga includes Chris approaching what appeared to be his first male sweetheart, Bryan himself, as a result of the Idea Guys previously brainwashing him into believing he was bisexual, even writing an erotic gay poem for him. Attempts were made by Bryan's girlfriend to keep Chris away from Bryan. Along with this, gal-pal Tings Tingz would also show feelings for Bryan.

Due to his associations with Chris during the midst of the Idea Guys, Bryan would be accused by onlookers as a possible troll and/or ween, as well as getting attacked by actual weens himself.

{{PrequelComicSaga}}

===Guard Dogs (''Summer 2018'')===
[[Image:Guard Dogs Banner.png|500px]]

After the events of the Idea Guy saga, it became clear that Chris was dealing with a [[ween]] epidemic. To combat this, Null and The Captain decided to step in and filter Chris's emails and Twitter to prevent trolls from getting through. Null made a thread on Kiwi Farms showing off the intercepted ween messages and even doxxing the senders.

According to con attendees, Null seems to have recruited some Kiwi Farms users to follow Chris around [[BronyCon]] in 2018 in order to prevent people from talking to him. If this is true, it's most likely in response to Chris's meltdown at [[TooManyGames]] and Null, not wanting this to happen again, assembled an elite anti-ween task force. The Captain assisted Chris when his car broke down on the way back from BronyCon. More elaborate plans were also implemented, including a plan for a field agent to whisk Chris away to assisted living after his mother passes.

Null and The Captain would also attempt to give Chris advice. In particular, Null encouraged him to talk to his therapist about the Idea Guys, in order to fast-track law enforcement involvement, but Chris was reluctant to do so. Instead, Chris opted to retreat into the ruins of his fantasy world. Eventually, it became clear that Chris had disregarded the precautions set up for him and found a new set of trolls to replace the Idea Guys: the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. Null and The Captain's willingness to help Chris has since diminished, although they remain in proximity to Chris online to document and discuss any goings-on.

<center>{{GuardDogSaga}}</center>

===Teen Troon Squad Saga (''24 April 2018 - 1 January 2019'')===
[[Image:TTS Saga2.png|500px]]
{{main|Teen Troon Squad}}

The Teen Troon Squad is a group of 18- to 19-year-old FTM trans people who live locally to Chris. They gained influence over Chris upon purchasing his porn artwork on [[eBay]] for $1,000 in April 2018.

After Chris was rescued from the [[Idea Guys]] in May 2018, he continued to hold onto the beliefs they had programmed into him. Although he was encouraged to seek [[Chris and psychology|therapy]], Chris balked at the idea and instead sought out more people to feed his delusional thinking - and got his wish in the form of the Teen Troon Squad; around October of that same year, for the second time in 2018, Chris was trolled by people claiming to be his own fictional characters when the Squad invited Chris over to their house, where they pushed his delusional thinking.

In October 2018 Chris began outlining a supposed 'Dimensional Merge' that would take place at the end of 2018, in which the [[Reality Cartoon|real world]], aka Dimension 1218, and its sister dimension, C197, were to collide and combine in an event of supposedly-apocalyptic proportions. Lukas, a Squad member, has alleged that this was a holdover from the Idea Guys, but implied that the Squad encouraged these beliefs in Chris.

In November 2018, several previously unreleased Idea Guy videos, such as [[All Star]], [[Tour of Chris's House III]], [[Chris slaps himself]], and [[Chris lost Crystal]] began to be leaked on Chris's Twitter.

In late December 2018, the Squad was doxxed by an unknown party who logged into Chris's Twitter. One of the Squad members then leaked more documents on /cow/. On 30 December 2018, Chris wrote a Twitter post bashing Lukas, also mentioning that Lukas had wanted him to buy [[alcohol|booze]]. As a result of the spotlight being well and truly shone upon their schemes, the Teen Troon Squad has since retreated into the shadows.

<center>{{TTSSaga}}</center>



===GOPony Saga (''13 August 2018 - Present'')===
[[File:GOPONY.png|500px]]

As the [[2010s]] came to a close, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was clearly entering its last days. Since its target audience is school aged children it's a common practice by the more competent animation studios to end those shows before it gets to the point that the kids watching it are younger than the show itself. Afterwards, if said show was part of a franchise, they create a new installment for said franchise. Such a cycle has been happening in My Little Pony since its inception in 1984 and has happened once again. Friendship is Magic ended in [[2019]] with a more light-hearted filler series airing from [[2020]] as a way to tide over the fanbase until the premiere of the new generation, which happened in [[September 2021]] with the release of a movie. The filler series, called MLP: Pony Life struck a major nerve with Chris who holds the belief that Friendship is Magic is meant to have 14 seasons due to delusions rooted in the [[Dimensional Merge]]. This instance, preceded in [[August 2018]] by a panning of the leaked early designs for the G5 ponies were some of the occasional posts of disapproval throughout the close of the decade. For a while it was on Chris' back burner but on 27 [[July 2021]] Chris uploaded a tard rage video demanding that the new My Little Pony generation be cancelled, confirming that Chris holds Sonic Boom-esque feelings towards this. The lulz were subsequently cancelled when Chris admitted to incest.

However, despite his incarceration, this hasn't stopped him from expressing nothing but hatred towards this reboot. Chris had expressed in numberous jail letters about how he believes the reboot has caused major world catastrophes such as the Russo-Ukrainian war.

<center>{{GOPonySaga}}</center>

===Jacob Saga (''14 July - 28 November 2019; 15 July - 26 August 2020'') ===
[[File:Jacob Saga.png|500px]]

Though he had been [[autism|autistically]] obsessed with Chris since around 2018, amateur sorcerer Jacob Sockness only made Chris's acquaintance in [[June 2019]], after an unremarkable troll convinced Chris that Sockness would be interested in buying his filthy bathwater. On 14 [[July 2019]], the two agreed to a closer partnership: Sockness would act as a middleman for Chris's [[2019 Sales Listings|merchandise]], in order to evade Chris's [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|eBay ban]]. The two would soon abandon this scheme, however, instead deciding to direct their attention to another of their shared interests; [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|pretending to be gods]]. Their mystical and occultist schemes would cross-pollinate, Jacob's extraterrestrial demons wending their way into the [[Dimensional Merge]]'s logistics. The most notable example being the [[Spirit possession#Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan possession]], in which from [[August 2019]] to [[September 2019]], Chris believed that he swapped minds with [[Magi-Chan]] in order to visit [[Jacob Sockness]] so he wouldn't need to actually do so in real life. The period of Magi-Chan roleplaying lasted an entire month. Jacob's antics with Chris was not ignored, as soon, [[Kiwi Farms|onlookers]] would find out about Jacob and dox him, but Sockness would not be deterred by a mere dox; for he had apparently already doxxed himself long before meeting Chris, and would boast freely and frequently about how he was misleading Chris for his own ends. [[Slow-in-the-minds|Despite the obvious dangers]], Chris continued to believe Jacob's teachings [[honor roll|at face value]], and encouraged his desire to meet in person. In late [[September 2019]], the situation nearly reached a boiling point when Sockness announced that he had secured a train ticket and was traveling from his home in California to [[Charlottesville]], and threatened that he would [[rape|brutally abuse]] Chris after arriving at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Being understandably alarmed by this, Chris [[Chris and negotiation|demanded]] that Sockness return, and with the help of the [[Watchmen]], arranged for a [[white knight|supporter]] to intercept Sockness in Chicago and provide for him to return to San Francisco. Jacob relented, and the two grew more distant. Sockness would temporarily return to Chris's good side in late [[October 2019]] and early [[November 2019]], yet by the end of that month he would once again be cast aside by Chris.

However, in early 2020, Chris once again started to talk to Jacob, believing in Jacob's supposed [[Magical thinking|occult practices]]. Though it appeared that they were coming close to one another again, Chris's and Sockness's relationship would permanently come to an end in [[August 2020]], after Sockness creepily theorized on [[Twitter]] that [[Mia Hamm]] supposedly bared Chris's illegitimate child after they had sex. Although Jacob would make several other attempts to win Chris's favor over the course of the next few months, all attempts would ultimately be unsuccessful.

<center>{{JacobSaga}}</center>

==The Rise (Mid 2018 - 1 August 2021)==

By Mid 2018, with the creation of several [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History|documentaries]] pertaining to Chris, a new generation of Christorians had began to form, and awareness of the Chris Chan saga began to rise, further fueled by Chris's expanding fantasy world, partially influenced by webcomic [[Ben Saint]].

In late 2019, a group consisting of [[enablers]] and [[white knights]] was established through [[Discord]] to gatekeep Chris from potential [[trolls]], [[A-Log|A-Logs]], and the aforementioned weens. Much like many other white knights and enablers, they gained Chris's trust by appealing to and indulging in his delusions, specifically ones related to the [[Dimensional Merge]] and [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddesses]]. They eventually named themselves the Watchmen. The group's primary objective was to protect Chris from trolls.

Alongside the Watchmen, another group of enablers called [[Praetor]] had formed, allowing Chris to profit off of his fantasies (though only at a fraction of what they themselves made), the closest he's gotten to a real job. In conjunction to this, Chris was pumping out more drawings on a consistent basis.

As a result of both groups, and Chris's newer business ventures, Chris's life appeared to become more stable, as there was less interference from trolls, he was now consistently making profits due to a growing fanbase, and he had even found a woman who was actually attracted to him. This era marks the calm before the storm, when most of Chris's activity seemed primarily dormant again, and it appeared that things were going much better for him.

===Copitz Saga (''19 May 2018 - December 2019'')===

On 19 May 2018, the Youtube speedrunner and Twitch user [[Copitz]] had began visiting [[14 Branchland Court]] to record videos of himself with Chris and his friends in several different areas. Some of these videos included ones where Chris was in an abandoned hospital hunting for ghosts, while others had involved several interviews with him.

Copitz would play a major role in the development of the Chris Chan docuseries, [[The Chris Chan Conspiracy]], which consisted of several of their interactions with Chris from the span of December 2019. The documentary series wouldn't be announced or publicized until more than two years later.




===TF2 Analysis Saga (''Late 2018 - 30 October 2020'')===
{{Incomplete}}
[[File:SoftExileBanner.png|500px]]

In [[January 2019]], a slew of people began to block Chris on Twitter, either due to his own harassment or egging on by weens. This caused Chris, naturally, to rage about it, and eventually to protect his Twitter account. For months, he had shown no signs of budging. All of his tweets during this period consisted of complaining about being blocked, or else his dimensional delusions mentioned above. After protecting his Twitter account, he would greatly reduce his social media activity, and in [[June 2019]] even extended to disabling comments again on his [[June 2019 videos|recent videos]]. This period of time also marked Chris's bizarre adoption of the word "[[My Little Pony|Bugbear]]" (a phrase referring to minor annoyances) and employing it almost everywhere in his wild and unclear rants. After several months, Chris's initial bitterness from the blocks seems to have faded, and he opened his Twitter account for the public again.

{{SoftExileSaga}}

===Secret Shipfic Saga (''16 August 2019 - 31 July 2021'')===
[[File:SecretShipficSagaBanner.png|500px]]

On 16 August, 2019, Chris began to create trading cards for his Sonichu comics, much like his [[Wall of Originals]] using a template from the My Little Pony parody game ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]''. His most ambitious project in several years, Chris fully embraced the concept, and has seemingly supplanted the ''Sonichu'' comics in favour of the cards as his principal monetary venture. The card game also became Chris's primary means to expand upon the lore of the fantasy world that he has created, and that several trolls from before had provided influence onto. Chris had posted several cards featuring the OCs created by fans and enablers.

[[Ben Saint]] a webcomic artist and creator of the webseires ''Endless War'', had tried to profit off of Chris's infamy by implementing characters from the comic into Sonichu, thereby creating the "Slime Saga". Chris had eventually implemented Ben's characters and ideas into Sonichu in [[Sonichu Special 7]]. However, Ben's attempts at creating a new saga from the ground-up, and promoting his comic, by tinkering with Chris's own comics only proved to be of a very limited success when Chris began ignoring Saint's attempts at provocation by mid-October, and when conflicts of interest had risen between the two creators. Following from this, several white knights and past enablers such as [[Jacob Sockness]] and [[MKRNightVee]] came into the scene in order to regain power over Chris or to justify Chris's actions. When Chris began shifting his focus on his Sonichu comics to the aforementioned card game, Chris had implemented Saint's characters, as well as ideas brought to him by drama surrounding him, and a new wave of [[white knights]] defending Chris's actions, [[enablers]] suggesting new OCs into Chris's now expanding universe, and [[weens|wannabe trolls]] trying to take a piece of Chris's infamy for themselves would show up into the mix.

Chris was able to develop a new fanbase through a series of commissions, and implementing people's [[OCs]] into his canon.

{{ShipficSaga}}

===Watchmen Saga (''Late 2019 - August 2021'')===
[[File:WatchmenSagaBanner.png|500px]]

The Watchmen would gatekeep Chris through means of collecting information, doxing, and harassing anybody attempting to interact or get involved with Chris. The existence of the Watchmen was not publicly known until [[August 2020]], in which they leaked content that they had received from Chris.

The Watchmen would be responsible for and or related to many notable events that took place throughout 2020 and early 2021. Such as removing [[Jacob Sockness]]'s influence over Chris, the previously mentioned [[August 2020 Watchmen leaks|August 2020 leaks]], being heavily involved in the [[Discord Q&A]]'s, and having multiple conflicts with members of [[Praetor]].

However, as 2021 continued on, the Watchmen seemingly became less publicly involved with Chris. Things came to a head in [[June 2021]], as internal conflicts among the Watchmen arose, with a member of the group, [[The WCT]], being doxed on the [[Kiwi Farms]] by the leader of the group, [[Naught|Bismuth]]. The WCT then decided to inform Chris of Bismuth doxing him. As a result, Chris recorded a short audio clip saying "Fuck Bismuth!" before leaving [[The Place]], a Discord server run by the Watchmen, while The WCT was being simultaneously banned from it. A few days later, another member of the Watchmen stated on Twitter that Chris had apparently cut contact with her and other Watchmen. This incident effectively ended the most known iteration of the Watchmen.

A new Discord server, entitled [[The Knights of CWC]], was established by [[The WCT]], who invited Chris and several members of the Watchmen. In the meantime, Chris was also set to attend the brony convention [[Everfree Northwest]]. Chris was already in contact with a troll and sweetheart named [[Isabella Loretta Janke|Isabella "Bella" Janke]], who was later known for claiming to have had plots to harm Chris. Chris was also secretly in contact with another sweetheart codenamed as "[[The Suitress]]", a young autistic woman who had a genuine crush on him, who had planned to meet him at the convention. Chris would introduce the Suitress to Bella in WCT's Knights server. The both of them had agreed to serve as bodyguards to protect Chris from [[Jacob Sockness]], who swore to attend the event in disguise. Bella would also agree to serve as Chris's "photographer".

Chris would remain active in the Knights of CWC server all the way up until [[Jail Saga|his arrest on 1 August 2021]] due to his incestuous behavior with Barbara. When Bella attempted and failed to damage control her name, she would trick the WCT into believing that a set of fabricated texts she made that alleged Chris was having BDSM-style sex with Barb were real, and that the Suitress had also owned a copy of these texts of her own. WCT sharing these texts, along with partially revealing the Suitress's identity would get him in hot water, and cause many Watchmen members to turn tail.

<center>{{WatchmenSaga}}</center>



===Praetor Saga (''October 2020 - Present'')===
[[File:PraetorSagaBanner.jpg|500px]]

On October 2020, Chris would be seen in a photo posing with several members of a group refered to as Praetor. This group would sell Chris-related merchandise with his permission. Most of the merchadise that Praetor had sould would have been used as a means for Chris to profit off of his fantasies amist the Financhu Crisis, creating his very own cult. Chris had a sermon regarding the Dimensional Merge at the Goochland Library. Praetor had also created special Golden Medallions which would give customers access to the Golden Church of Sonichu.

By the time Chris had interacted with Praetor, Chris had also gotten in touch with a new sweetheart, Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke, who created an animated intro for him by his request. Bella also acted very nice around Chris, which would cause her to gain much trust from him. However, Bella also displayed notable A-logging elsewhere, claiming that she wanted to get Chris to harm himself or commit suicide, and even claiming that she tried to persuade other Praetor members to convince him to cut his penis off.

Praetor was also a target of the white-knight group, the Watchmen. Most infamously, Praetor promoted the sale of tasers and stun guns on their Etsy page to simulate "zapping to the extreme". A taser and Pikachu mask would be found in their shopping cart. Chris stated on 21 February 2021 that he wanted to use a taser in order to activate the Dimensional Merge by zapping his [[Gate Crystal]]. Following this, Chris engaged in a call with Praetor leader Caden Peck and several Watchmen members, discouraging him from taking this course of action. A chunk of the full call would be leaked, leaving out much of the key context in the full call, and many rumors about the group and the call would be spread by Watchmen leader [[Naught]], Larry Vaughn, and Bella on the Kiwi Farms, as well as by the Christuber [[GiBi]] on his own YouTube channel.

<center>{{PraetorSaga}}</center>

===Warhol Saga (''24 May - 19 September 2021'')===

In May 2021 Chris discovered an Amazon listing for a fake book made by Don Lashomb that favorably compared him to mid-century pop artist Andy Warhol. Naturally this inflated his ego and caused him to devote several tweets to said comparison. Later he went on to begin reviewing the book and made Tweets featuring his takes on the ween's compliments. Chris would make several periodic tweets throughout summer 2021, reviewing the book as he went along.

Despite Lashomb cutting ties with Chris, Chris would continue to promote the book.

{{WarholSaga}}


===Incest Saga (''26 June 2021 - 31 July 2021'')===
[[File:IncestSagaBanner.png|600px]]

During the beginning of 2021, Chris exhibited [[Lonely feelings|many signs of sexual frustration]] much more intense than ever before, to the point of openly discussing this with several Watchmen members, as well as crushing on [[MKRNightVee|several]] [[Annie Ikenberry|females]] [[Bella|of]] [[The Suitress|interest]] all at once, and having wet dreams involving cartoon characters<ref>[[:File:ThePlace1stLayer 02Feb21 - almost sex dream.png]]</ref>. Towards the end of June, Chris grew impatient and decided to release this sexual frustration on his own mother. Chris would do this over the span of one month every three days. Chris would hint at this affair over this timespan, referring to Barb as a "Sweetheart over 50".

On 5 July 2021, Null would be one of the first people that Chris would confess to having a "sweetheart over 50".

On 13 July 2021, Chris would also confess to Bella that he was having an affair with the "sweetheart over 50". About two weeks later, on the the 28th, he would further confess in a 4-hour call that this sweetheart was actually his mother. The following night, when Bella had given her an edited 9 minute version of the call, the Suitress initiated leaks of it by sharing a further edited 4-minute version of the call, and then the full 9 minutes when people doubted its legitimacy. Bella would end up doing damage control to her name soon after, which ended up with her getting discovered.

On 31 July 2021, two days after the initial leak, Greene County police were contacted and Chris was removed from his property, with Barb also being taken to a hospital for a checkup. An emergency protection order was also taken out against Chris, forbidding him from contacting Barb or setting foot on his property for a week.

<center>{{IncestSaga}}</center>



==The Silent Years (''1 August 2021 to Present'')==
After enjoying nearly 14 years of being an infamous YouTuber with a cult following, Chris's notability rose as his reputation plummeted. His name trended on Twitter as local news picked up on his latest controversy yet. Soon came a new wave of [[carpetbaggers]], an explosion of Chris-related content, and many major shifts in both Chris's life and the climate of his following, having been forcefully separated.

===Jail Saga (''1 August 2021 - Present'')===
[[File:Jail Saga Banner.png|600px]]

On 1 August, Chris was arrested outside the Regency Inn he was staying at, and the next day was officially charged for incest. By the end of the month, it was discovered that Barb had returned home, and that the Chandlers' car had been returned to her, with new numberplates replacing the SONICHU ones. During that period, Chris was being held in Central Virginia Regional Jail without bond.

This saga is notable for the [[jail letters]], a series of letters Chris has written to fans and wannabe trolls alike, answering their questions and providing a stream of information about his current delusions and stay in jail. A vast majority of these letters would be Chris's ramblings of being a messianic figure, as well as being a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Chris's desperation to get out of jail would show all throughout the saga.

After three continuances, On 28 February 2022, Chris was transferred and committed into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution in Staunton, Virginia (formerly known as the Western State Lunatic Asylum) for a competency evaluation before his next hearing.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref> During his stay, Chris was allegedly [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pinned down]] by the orderlies on his last day in the facility.

Chris was eventually transferred back to the Central Virginia Regional Jail on 3 May 2022. The period between these two transfers would prove to be one of the more silent moments in Christory, due to such facilities having strict measures regarding the interactions between its patients and the outside world.

Chris's last hearing had occured on 22 July 2022, where Chris's case was elevated to the circuit court, and sent to a grand jury for a potential felony charge. On 5 August 2022, David Heilberg had issued a motion for an autism disorder deference for Chris's case, where he is placed under probation terms and supervised. A transportation order for Chris has also been made on 10 August 2022. A review of Chris's case following the deference has been scheduled for 8 August 2023.

<center>{{PrisonSaga}}</center>



==The Future==
Normally, mistakes present a life lesson. In theory, the various sagas should have taught Chris the consequences of [[Honest content|oversharing]], [[ego]]tism, [[hypocrisy]], [[naive|blind trust]], [[anger]], and more. Above all, the moral of most of Chris's sagas boils down to a classic Abraham Lincoln quote: '''don't believe everything you see on the Internet.'''<ref group = "note">Or was it [[Daniel Weston]] who said it?</ref>

Nevertheless, if anything remains clear, it is that Chris is nearly incapable of applying past events to current ones. The fact that Chris eventually hit the low of having sex with his own mother has most certainly cemented his future, with little to no good coming out of it. Trolls and his current wave of [[Unholy Tetrad|orbiters]] are now the least of Chris's worries, now that he has been evicted from his home, and had all forms of financial support taken away from him after he lied about stealing money from his mother.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

{{Notes}}
{{References}}
{{Newbie}}
{{Timeline}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Chris and drugs

2022-11-06T21:31:41Z

FireLiz:

{{Needs Updating|[[The Place chats (October 2019)#Healing power]]|[[The Place chats (October 2019)#Supplements]]}}

{{quote|The despicable mention of rude words and... D-R-U-G-S.|[[Song of Christian]]}}

A '''drug''' is any substance, other than food, that changes an [[Chris|organism]]'s physiology or psychology when consumed.

Much like [[sex toys|shoving things]] up his ass, recreational drugs were something that Chris used to preach against, until he eventually tried alcohol and discovered he loved the somewhat pleasant effect. As of 2021, Chris has consumed caffeine, cannabis, and alcohol. He has yet to smoke a cigarette or try any hard drugs such as cocaine. Chris has also been on a litany of prescription and over-the-counter drugs to treat his various ailments.

==Prescription drugs==
===Psych meds and other drugs===
====Prescriptions for mental health====
{{Main|Autism}}
Due to Chris's autism, he has had to take a variety of prescription drugs over the years. As of 2000, Chris has been taking the antidepressant Paxil for his Autism (which increased from 20mg to 30mg after his [[Autism papers|Psychiatric diagnosis]]), but sometime before December 2009 he stopped taking it, and instead began taking Paroxetine, citing Paxil's side-effects. Interestingly enough, both have the same chemical composition, meaning both are the same drug with different trade names. If word ever gets out that Chris felt Paroxetine didn't have the same side effects as Paxil, know that this is just an example of the placebo effect. It is possible that Paxil/Paroxetine's side effects included making orgasm harder and increased potential for [[obesity|weight gain]]. Sometime afterwards, [[Barb]] found out about it's side effects and switched to fluoxetine. It is likely she switched relatively recently, as she still mentioned paroxetine well into [[October 2017]].

In that same paper, it also mentioned his taking of Imipramine for unknown reasons.

====Prescriptions for other ailments====
{{Main|Chris and health}}
For the majority of his life, Chris has had cholesterol problems. To combat this, instead of eating like a normal human being and getting exercise, he eats poorly and rarely exercises while taking Lipitor, a cholesterol-lowering drug. While Lipitor and similar drugs can have a positive effect in lowering the cholesterol levels of those taking it, if one doesn't change their lifestyle as well there will be little change in the cholesterol level. Chris, having taken Lipitor since at least [[August 2009]], has had some improvement with his cholesterol levels. getting a score of 140 mg/ml, while not low, is not high either. Since Chris is very unfit, it's likely that Lipitor seems to be doing a decent job.

Chris also takes a drug to combat blood pressure, likely a blood thinner concerning his fat-high diet. It is known that Chris also takes antibiotics for UTIs.

===HRT===
Ever since [[May 2015]], Chris has been taking HRT (hormone replacement therapy) one way or another to successfully transition.

====Oestrogel====
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]

Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones.

Unfortunately, Chris has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Oestrogel has health risks, such as fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill, but has failed to connect the dots and see that taking over-dosages of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

====Proper HRT====
At some point in fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT. In his [[CopperCab|interview with CopperCab]], Chris mentions he takes the testosterone blocker spironolactone, which he nicknames "Spyro the Dragon", and estradiol to assist in transitioning.

==Alcohol==
[[Image:Sonichurosey.png|thumb|Ever since getting married to [[Rosechu]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] finds that Reeb helps dull the pain.]]

===Background===
[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Finally Loosened up and flew to Long Island June 12, 2009. '''Keep It Responsible'''; ONLY One in a day, or 7 or less in all in a week. ''(Quote from [[CWCipedia]])'']]

Like many things in his life, Chris has drastically changed his feelings about intoxicating beverages over the years. Chris once described alcohol as a "slow-acting poison" in his [[FUTURE MESSAGE]] video. He also touched on the subject during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], where in line 309, he mentioned that he would not go to a singles bar because of it (and cigarettes). When asked about alcohol in [[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]], he stated that it "causes [[Chris and health|liver dysfunction]] and likely [[Chris and anger|bar fights]] and [[6 June 2010|automobile accidents]]".

Chris delivered a particularly effusive tirade in one of his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]:

{{quote|ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY SMOKE AND DRINK, don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO DEATH WITH CANCER, LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND GROSS AND DISGUSTING!|Chris, to Reggie, early in 2009.}}

===Discovery and use===
Despite his initial feelings about alcohol, a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] [[Chris's Big Night Out|video]] of Chris drinking a [[Long Island Iced Tea]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 12 [[June 2009]], showing us signs that perhaps Chris is willing to throw all his principles out the window when the chance to impress a female arises.

Alcohol was mentioned briefly in a video shortly after, titled [[I'm Sorry, Dude]]. In this video, Chris makes an offer to treat Logan to drinks as opposed to his past offers of "coffee or soda" to those whom he wanted to get to know. Alcohol was briefly revisited again on camera in [[Chris's Big Night Out II]], where Chris was seen drinking. Chris's first recorded video where he appeared visibly intoxicated was [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]. Alcohol began a slow and steady progression into Chris's life; this was made obvious in an email to [[Regina]], where he said ''"I've also tasted Mike's Hard Lemonade, Budwiser, Miller, Micolobe ''[Michelob]'', Samual Adams and a couple of others. And I look forward to sampling more varities of liqour."''

Budweiser is apparently his brand of choice, based on eyewitness reports from [[Fridays After Five]] and his account of a trip to a bar prior to visiting [[the GAMe PLACe]] on [[6 June 2010]]. Meanwhile, a [[100 2281|video]] from mid-[[October 2010]] showed Chris slugging Kahlúa straight from the bottle, although he didn't seem to enjoy it too much.

When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 6#Sonichu and drinking|Mailbag 6]] challenged him regarding his shift in attitude, Chris replied, "I discourage underage drinking fully; I wanted to try it once for myself."

In [[Mailbag 16#Alcoholism|Mailbag 16]], from [[December 2009]], he described his drinking habits in more detail, "I am more of a Social Drinker; I generally do NOT spend a weekly amount on drinks; I only drink at like a party or with a friend on rare occasions [sic]." This remark was met with some skepticism from [[trolls]], since Chris has no friends, much less any who would invite him to parties.

Even after discarding his original hard-line attitude, though, Chris still found opportunities to get a little preachy regarding the demon liquor. In [[Mailbag 33#Chris and the census|Mailbag 33]], from early [[January 2010]], he remarked, "And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, unresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents." He also, in [[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]], advanced the bizarre theory that drinking while pregnant "CAN PROVOKE [[homos]]exuality in the child."

In [[6 June 2010]], Chris revealed that he had been drinking at a bar before driving to the [[The GAMe PLACe]] and getting into a confrontation with a [[manajerk]].

Alcohol may be contributing to Chris' declining health. Since his decision to leave the Internet and instead seek real life interaction, Chris has revealed to us that he spent most of his day sitting in bars and playing on his Nintendo DSi. While he once claimed to be a "Social Drinker", it is becoming quite obvious that he is anything but. Chris's childlike perception of the world is most likely deafening his awareness to the substance's advancement of relevancy in his life. At this point, he may be turning to alcohol for [[Chris and escapism|escapism]]. Also, alcoholism has been proven to be a telltale sign of {{w|Peter Pan syndrome}}, which clearly applies to Chris. In addition, Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary but may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Death|problems]] in the near future.

It is obvious that with Chris's current loneliness and depression, his alcohol use may yield repercussions in his life - and it did. In [[July 2016]], Chris, while thought to have been drunk and depressed over lack of progress on his gender transition, [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced open his taint with a knife]] to simulate the opening of a vagina.

Alcohol made another appearance in the [[Cherokean Chant]] performance, in which Chris states he had five swigs of vodka.

The [[Teen Troon Squad]], aged 18/19, tried to get Chris to buy them Reeb in 2018.

In 2021, [[enabler]] [[KwaiiSandbag]] revealed that Chris had told him in messages that he would drink heavily once every few weeks.<ref>[[KwaiiSandbag calls#Chris's Drinking and Smoking Habits]]</ref> Even with known accounts of Chris's past alcohol use, this news was surprising and concerning.

The [[Jail Letter Gifts|Holy Labels]] which Chris has been sending to fans from [[jail]] are expressly intended to be used for drinking non-alcoholic beverages. This is a strange inversion of the Christian rite of [[wikipedia:Eucharist|Holy Communion]], which most Christian denominations celebrate using wine (although some Protestant denominations use non-alcoholic grape juice).

===Chandler family and alcohol===

It is interesting to note that [[Cole Smithey]] mentions that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|met at a bar and acted like a couple of drunken losers]]. The Chandlers' pre-[[fire]] family room had memorabilia from various brewing companies including [[wikipedia:P. Ballantine and Sons Brewing Company|Ballantine]] and [[wikipedia:Bass Brewery|Bass]], indicating that Chris's parents never shared his antipathy to alcohol even in their old age.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg</ref>

Chris's family line has a history with alcohol. Chris's maternal great-grandfather, Robert Pettis Wynn, "drank heavily and had a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]] during the time he was married. Family stories say [[Father Call|he failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children]] ...there are others who say he was a moonshiner."<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref>

===In the comic===
[[Image:RealReeb.jpg|thumb|The official drink of [[Kick the Autistic]].]]
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|left|A worker at [[4-cent_garbage.com]] downing a relaxing can of Reeb.]]

In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris refers to beer in all instances as "Reeb" which is just "Beer" spelled backwards. He probably thought this little emordnilap very clever.

At first glance this seems odd, until you realize Chris was under the impression that Sonichu was targeted towards children (despite the graphic sex scene in issue 8, and frequent depictions of violent death), and so, he feels he must censor any mention of alcohol in the comic. This is a common theme in English-translated [[anime]] shows such as ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', particularly those aimed at a younger audience.

Possessing or drinking alcohol was also one of the worst crimes to commit in [[CWCville]], and could have led to a $1,500 fine or ten years in prison<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> (the fact that Chris thinks that ten years in prison and a $1,500 fine are interchangeable is indicative of his broader attitude towards [[Chris and money|money]]). It is also interesting to note that this punishment is much more lenient than the CWCville penalty for [[homos|homosexuality]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|Mailbag 31]]</ref> And you thought Chris was intolerant.

Chris later said in his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video that the prohibition had since been repealed.

"Reeb" is the drink of choice for the drunkards working at [[4-cent_garbage.com]]. It should also be noted that there really is a drink called Reeb; it's a Chinese beer produced in Shanghai, though it's doubtful that Chris knew about it.
{{clear}}

==Tobacco==
[[File:100 0695.JPG|thumb|"NO SMOKING" and "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]", two of Chris's [[Cherokee|war cries]].]]
[[File:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|thumb|Authentic CWC ashtray, perfect for launching at the Moon.]]
{{Quote|And smoking will eventually cause cancer, and it will—you'll be more likely to get [[Obesity|heart attacks]], [[14 Branchland Court|viruses]], and your life will be cut drastically short. They don't call cigarettes and cigars "[[Star Wars|death sticks]]" for nothing, other than killing you slowly. If I could, I would take every last ounce of tobacky, put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to [[the Moon]].|[[Chris]]<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref>}}

'''Tobacco''', called '''tobacky''' by Chris, is a recreational drug derived from ''Nicotiana'' plants. If Chris could, he would send every last ounce of tobacky on a rocket to [[the Moon]].

One of the prerequisites for a [[sweetheart]] that Chris has never veered from is that she be "smoke-free".<ref>[[OkCupid]]</ref><ref>[[Dating profiles]]</ref><ref>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

Given his flip-flopping regarding his hatred of [[alcohol]], it is uncertain whether Chris has ever smoked, although he did pretend to smoke a "peace pipe" for [[Jackie]].<ref>[[Wigwam]]</ref>

===Chris on tobacky===
[[Image:CastleWily.png‎|thumb|The Tobacky Factory from Chris' nightmares. For real, though, where have we seen ''that'' before?]]

In his famous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]] of 24 February [[2007]], Chris expressed his wish for all tobacky to be shot to the Moon.

In an [[ED]] edit from 10 November [[2007]] regarding a comment about [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris said he was uncomfortable saying the word "tobacco".<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

Chris's tobacky rocket plan was elaborated on in [[January 2009]]:
{{quote|[[Honor roll|I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well]].|Chris<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>}}

Chris has also related a [[dreams|dream]] he once had regarding the risks posed by tobacco consumption:
{{Quote|I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, going through BURNING OVENS, coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.|Chris's cigarette nightmare<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref>}}

Chris has stated that tobacco and alcohol importation is the most severe crime in [[CWCville]] and warrants "ten years [imprisonment] or fifteen hundred dollar fine".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]]</ref> In short, importing cigarettes is worse than [[rape]], [[Sonichu (character)|theft]], [[Death threats|murder]], or even being a [[homo]] in [[CWCville]].

==Cannabis==
Chris seemed to have an even stronger hatred for [[Wikipedia:Cannabis (drug)|cannabis]] (marijuana, pot, weed, etc.), despite it being hailed as a possible [[autism]] treatment.<ref>[http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/autism-treatment-marijuana-madness-8763721]</ref> This is evidenced by the fact that, in CWCville, cigarette smokers are only given a US$1,500 fine, but those who simply possess weed are taken to a maximum security prison, the same place CWCville detains [[Mary Lee Walsh|terrorist leaders]], as was the fate of [[Kathleen]] in the [[Book10Replacement]].

Interestingly, the Jamaican war veteran [[Inos]] from the original [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] somehow managed to escape this sentence, instead being forced into a soup hotel by [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Dialogue indicates it was because Sonichu believed he was actually smoking tobacco, despite him being high as a kite, unintentionally revealing that Chris may believe tobacco and cannabis to be interchangeable. The fact that "wacky '''tobacky'''" was used as a name for cannabis back in the [[Bob Chandler|1940s and 50s]] further adds weight to this theory.

In true [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris hypocritical fashion]], it was revealed by [[Kim]] on [[Facebook]] that in [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#.22I.27m_not_on_drugs.21.22|July 2016]] Chris had tried smoking cannabis at [[OmegaCon]], and he was offered it at [[Impulse Gay Social Club|Impulse]] as well.

Chris confirmed that he did try weed a couple of times in a [[Twitter]] comment.

{{quote|Thanks; not totally my thing, that kind of high. The couple of times aside.|Chris.<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Much love for MAGfest fans]]</ref>}}

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guy]], Chris changed Sonichu's official birthday to 20 April, or "4/20", often celebrated as a stoner holiday. However, given the Idea Guy's [[Idea Guy#Nazi CWCville|apparent]] [[Smashing|obsession with]] [[Nazis]] and other offensive topics, this could also be a reference to the birthday of Adolf Hitler, or the date of the 1999 {{w|Columbine High School massacre}}.

In [[2018]], Chris smoked pot with the [[Teen Troon Squad]], hanging out at their house to partake.

[[Virginia]] legalized weed at a state level in [[July 2021]], making it the first Southern state to do so. However, Chris spent the month hooked on a [[Affair with Mother|different vice]] which is still very much [[Jail Saga|illegal]].

==Caffeine==
Being an avid [[Coca-Cola]] drinker, Chris is no stranger to caffeine consumption (though he curiously denied using caffeine in the [[autism papers]]). His heavy soda consumption is likely to blame for his distorted [[biological clock|sleep patterns]].

Notably, the [[2014 house fire]] started after Chris tried to brew coffee in the bathroom early in the morning, causing a frayed extension cord to spark and set the house on fire.

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Things Chris once hated but now likes]]

Chris and health

2022-11-06T21:21:58Z

FireLiz:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
{{Incomplete}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|A rather optimistic depiction of Chris in later life, illustrated prior to his [[Transgender|tomgirl makeover]].]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health''' – physically or mentally. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], [[ShowerClean|refusal to bathe]], and [[Tour of Chris's House|the grave uncleanliness]] of [[Rental House|his]] [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, heart failure, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Chris and death|death]].

==Diet and nutrition==
{{main|Chris and nutrition}}

Put simply, Chris is a fatty. Unfortunately, he continues to deny this fact, and often lies that he cooks for himself often. Chris's diet actually consists largely of fast food from [[McDonald's]], which is admittedly not unlike the diet of many Americans. He claims to usually only eat fast food salads, but the caloric content of the salads often exceeds fast food burgers after adding the sauce that comes with them. His diet contributes in large part to many of his health issues, as well as his [[Financhu Crisis|financial problems]].

His mugshot upon return to jail on 3 May 2022, after spending three months in [[Western State Hospital]], revealed him to have lost a significant amount of weight. This is likely due to Chris being completely unable to beg for money to spend on junk food.

==Hydration and Water Consumption==
{{See also|Chris and nutrition}}

Up until 2020 Chris's water consumption was incredibly low, and his primary fluid consumption consisted mainly of carbonated drinks, as revealed by [[Chris]] having 8,000 [[My Coke Rewards]] points. For reference, buying and redeeming a 36-can pack of Coke is only equivalent to 25 [[My Coke Rewards]] points. This data point gives Christorians a metric in determining the amount of soda that Chris had actually consumed. In fact, it is estimated that between the 6th of [[March 2007]] and 4th of [[September 2009]], Chris drank around 2,500 bottles of Coca-Cola.

Chris's heavy consumption of carbonated beverages is also illustrated in a video in [[April 16 Fetish Vids|2009]], wherein Chris creates his infamous 'Semen Flavored Fanta' at the request of [[Ivy]]. Chris believed that in consuming his own reproductive fluids, he could 'recycle' his semen and protect his fertility. The belief in this concept alone gives Christorians great insight into Chris's incorrect view of not only biology, but the how consumption of food and beverage works in the human body.

Contrary to his previous practices, it seems that after 2020 Chris's water consumption has increased as he has often been seen with a 'Glaceau' water bottle. However, as early as [[January 2018]] [[Chris]] expressed a favouring of water<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/January_2018_tweets</ref> Inside said bottle is an [[Magic Stones|amethyst crystal]] which Chris believes heals him and 'recharges' his powers, as he believes the powers from the crystal are transferred into the water.

With Chris now in [[Jail Saga|prison]], it is likely that the trend of drinking water will remain with his diet.

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20111128031730/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. Chris never seemed to show interest in actual exergaming titles, such as ''Dance Dance Revolution'' or ''Wii Fit''. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, in [[WelcometoBollywood]] he is capable of dancing in place for over 7 minutes. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of Minute Maid lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should've it to came to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take 6 breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

Chris's lack of muscle tone may stem from hypotonia (lack of muscle tone), which can occur in people on the [[autism]] spectrum,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia</ref> although it is clear that his poor lifestyle has only exacerbated this.

===Bicycling===
Chris has owned several bicycles over the course of his life, but it is unknown if he ever rode any of them regularly. The most recent one was lost in the hoard sometime before [[2010]]. Chris has made the occasional reference to biking over the years:

* In [[Kacey Call 18]], he claims to have a scar above his left breast from a bicycle accident he had when he was about five to seven years old.
* Chris received a bike as a [[Christmas]] present in [[1990s|1995]].
* In his [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid answers]], Chris claims that he always wears a helmet when he rides a bike.
* In [[Jackie Chat 6]], [[Jackie]] asks Chris to make a video of himself riding his bike. Chris claims that his bike is buried among junk and that he can no longer access it.

{{Wise|he would need to begin exercising regularly in spring [[2018]] for him to be in shape while in [[CWCville]].<ref>https://archive.md/1D1ZL</ref>}}

===Anytime Fitness===
[[File:Chris at Anytime Fitness.jpg|thumb|left|200px|A fan spotted him at the gym and snapped his photo.]]

The Idea Guys coerced Chris into getting a membership at an Anytime Fitness gym. In April 2018, Chris uploaded [[One-Hundred!]], a video of him working out in his bedroom with actual dumbbells of 20 pounds each, instead of [[11042009 51 50|lemonade boxes]]. He followed up by taking a selfie at an Anytime gym of him on a treadmill "speed walking 4 mph for two hours".<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/April_2018_social_media_posts#Exercising_on_a_treadmill</ref>

A couple of weeks after the treadmill update, Chris was cocky enough about his new lifestyle change to use a put-down of telling other people they could stand to go to the gym to lose weight.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Mad at Facebook friends]]</ref>

{{quotebox|You are now Blocked. Before continuing to insult me whenever possible you should consider Going to the Gym Yourself, as I feel YOU could stand to Lose Some Weight!}}

On 7 May, Chris lamented the fact that [[weens]] had been calling up the gym to harass management about him:

{{quotebox|You Jerks and Trolls ruin EVERYTHING! I CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE GYM WITHOUT YOU HARASSING THE GYM THAT I GO TO!<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/993696407369408513</ref>}}

Later, [[Emily]] shared information that Chris had been banned:

{{quoteboxyellow|Chris was legitimately getting complaints from fellow gym goers regarding being [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gassy]] and [[Fangs|burping]] a whole lot. So he already had a strike against him for that, then couple that with [[Weens|people]] calling them inevitably got him banned.<ref>https://archive.md/CKDwK</ref>}}

In the [[Copitz]] interview, Chris claimed that he had only been banned from the [[Ruckersville]] location and was still regularly going to another undisclosed location in the [[Charlottesville]] area. However, knowing Chris it is likely that this is a [[Lies|lie]] and he has most likely stopped going altogether since the Idea guys were removed from power. However, if he did actually continue to go to the gym it is unlikely he could [[Honest Content|keep it a secret for very long]].

===Walking for exercise===
{{quote|Yes, the nature today is beautiful, and it was great temperature for a four-plus mile walk up the Monticello Trail. 😊 ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1052243316274802691</ref>}}
[[File:Dead fitbit.jpeg|thumb|Chris's FitBit]]

The exercise habit from the Idea Guys stuck with Chris temporarily, as he continued to go on walks, as seen in [[Walking to the post office]] and him mentioning that he goes on nature walks with his support group.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1043912418198532096</ref> In December 2018, he purchased a [[treadmill]], and filmed himself using it. For the first time in a long time, it would've seemed that Chris had started to pay at least some attention to one facet of his health. However, only a few months later, it appears that he has left his treadmill to rust.

In 2018, Chris tried to sell a [[Wikipedia:Fitbit|Fitbit]] activity tracker. However, no-one bought it, and he kept using it.<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts]]</ref> He did 23,000 steps on a [[Walking to the post office|walk to the post office and back]]. In January 2019 he released his Fitbit info to the [[Brony Babes]] group. Eventually, though, Chris gave up on walking, mostly using the Fitbit to [[biological clock|monitor his sleep]].<ref>[[May 2019 social media posts]], [[June 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

===#BronyBabes===
{{main|Brony Babes}}

Chris began [[2019]] by participating in the #BronyBabes challenge on Twitter with the goal of losing weight. He quickly abandoned it, though, after a barrage of blocks from fellow participants and voice actors for [[My Little Pony]].

===Exercise in Jail===

According to [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Eels and the Eggman)|a few]] [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|jail letters]], Chris's primary means of exercise in jail is playing basketball in the recreation room. However, a letter from a Twitter fan known as "Eels and the Egg-man" also shows that he was restricted from the recreation room, though Chris has not disclosed the reason for this. Any other potential means of exercise for Chris in jail are yet to be revealed.

{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140823175516/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}

[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|"Did you bathe?" "No"]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]]. Note the pale orange-red staining on the [[ShowerClean|improperly cleaned]] tiles, suggesting a case of a ''[[wikipedia:Serratia marcescens|Serratia marcescens]]'' bacterial colony, a type of bacteria capable of causing everything from urinary tract infections to meningitis.]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [https://web.archive.org/web/20140702004100/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] that he smells good, and asks him if he bathed, like it's some kind of event. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that using aerosol body spray is an acceptable substitute for a shower or bath.</ref> Rosechu seems to confirm this belief, as upon being told of the Axe usage she makes an awful attempt at suggestive wordplay, suggesting both that using Axe makes Sonichu clean enough for sex and that cheap deodorant has an aphrodisiac effect on Rosechu.

It would appear that Chris compounds this hygiene problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> It may be that Chris just gets into "nice" clothing to make his videos and as such doesn't get them dirty, allowing for him to use the same ones repeatedly, although this hygienic habit would be at odds with everything else he does.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cinematography|low quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos. This neglect will only make his hair fall out even faster than it already was.

This lack of cleanliness, combined with the state of his [[Chris's Room|room]] where he spends almost all his time, means that Chris and his surroundings must smell absolutely ''disgusting''. Chris evidently simply tolerates the horrible odors, perhaps not noticing them anymore. It may be that he has an abnormally weak or insensitive sense of smell or has gone nose-blind; few other things would allow for such living conditions.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]] (doubtlessly offending his victorious opponents) and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems would only worsen from that time onward. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

A 2020 tweet suggested that Chris wears the [[Sonichu medallion]] in the shower.<ref>[[June_2020_social_media_posts#medallions]]</ref> [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]] are both porous when hardened, and as such, the medallion will absorb grime such as soap scum and skin cells when Chris showers with it. The medallion has also grown more and more filthy and discolored due to contact with hot water.

A [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|November 2021 jail letter]] has Chris stating that he is highly encouraged to shower daily with Bob Barker or Irish Spring soap, a towel, and shampoo, while in prison, indicating that Chris's hygiene may have improved drastically in recent times. Chris claims that he is "VERY clean". Whether or not this pattern will continue after he is released, with no strict regime or [[Jerkop|guards]] to encourage him to shower, remains to be seen.

{{clear}}

==Living conditions==

''Main article: [[14 Branchland Court]], [[Rental House]]''

[[File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 1.jpg|thumb|Only half a year in and already an inhuman cesspool; quite the accomplishment.]]

Simply put, Chris has spent many years growing acclimated to living in conditions of abject filth and untidiness. The photographs and videos of 14 Branchland Court that he has so unwisely shared with the world showcased to us his filthy bathtub, as well as what appeared to be overflowing bins that looked more like mounds of trash, a kitchen sink overflowing with unwashed plates and cutlery, and even an instance of Chris [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]]. Trolls also managed to [[Rocky Shoemaker call|extract]] from [[Rocky Shoemaker]] that the house was suffering some sort of infestation, which led to [[Bob]] being quarantined after being brought to hospital, and Chris being confined to his room to avoid being bitten. When Chris's last video of the house emerged in the months before the [[2014 house fire|fire]], it was revealed that the problem had only gotten worse since Bob's passing, with whole rooms literally rendered inaccessible, and some filled almost to the ceiling with items [[Barb]] had hoarded, and with various other rooms reduced to crevices carved into Barb's mountains of junk.

Even after the fire, Chris and Barb have seemingly not amended their habits, as far as housekeeping goes. Photos of the rental house revealed a steadily growing number of [[Lego]] boxes strewn around, as well as something much more alarming; when Chris was taking photos of his merchandise for [[eBay]], he inadvertently photographed rat feces on the carpet as well. When [[Trolls|concerned customers]] pointed this out Chris [[Chris and reality|flatly denied it]], even though [[Honor roll|he had given them photographic proof to the contrary]]. Moreover, after [[Catherine]] visited in [[August 2014]], she recalled seeing junk "piled up to the ceiling" and the dogs not being housebroken and allowed to urinate and defecate in piles of newspaper on the floor. While Chris and Barb returned to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[January 2015]], one can only imagine the reaction of the landlord to the state in which they left the house, which, as of [[April 2015]], was still vacant, probably due to the mess they made.

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's Log, Stardate February_10th, 2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video. Chris may also suffer from [[facial blindness]].

One of Chris's half-brothers, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

In his [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE]] video, Chris's left eye is drooping noticeably, which may imply either an early sign of a stroke or substance abuse. Both of these are plausible due to his [[obesity]] and poor nutrition for the former, and his abuse of [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|a black-market drug for the latter]].

==Hearing and speech==
''Main article: [[Speech impediment]]''

Little is known about the current state of Chris's hearing, but the [[Autism papers]] said he suffered from high-frequency hearing loss in early childhood. Chris has also exhibited signs of tone-deafness; his [[music]]al performances show little semblance of melody at all.

Chris is known for his [[Speech impediment|unusual way of talking]], which goes beyond just having a Southern accent. He mixes up, clutters, and substitutes sounds regularly. He also often talks quickly and slurs his words, and when he doesn't, his voice takes on a staccato rhythm. His voice itself is a very severe deformity, ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[autism]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone.

In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. Chances are likely this has become permanent for Chris, given his decades of isolation.

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|250px|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. He seems to be unwilling to brush his teeth, or even at least chew some [[Brand loyalty|Orbit gum]].
{{clear}}

==Cardiovascular health==
[[File:Soysauce on fries.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris thinks this will help him grow his [[muscle bra|breasts]]. To be fair, [[obesity|he's not wrong]].]]

It is known that Chris's father Bob Chandler had a long history of heart problems. Knowing this, Chris should have realized he was at a far higher chance of inheriting cardiac disorders and related risk factors. Thanks to his poor decisions regarding his own health, he has made an already bad situation worse.

In August 2013, Chris indicated that the [[Chris and stress|stress]] he's endured has begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. In 2016, he implied that he has hypertension;<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis#Likes]]</ref> this was later confirmed in August 2017, when he stated that he takes prescription medicine for it.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris's prescribed medication]]</ref>

In September 2017, Chris discussed his new method for growing larger breasts, which involves flavoring his food with soy sauce. As an example, he posted a picture of [[McDonald's]] fries doused in soy sauce.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris is fat and stupid]]</ref> It is evident that he has conflated soy-based foods with soy sauce, thinking the latter would be a good way to boost estrogen levels. In reality, the phytoestrogens found in soy products do not bind to the body's estradiol receptors, and thus will have no effect on his manboobs. Conversely, soy sauce is loaded with sodium, and said sodium is actually making him fatter due to weight gain and fluid retention, as well as inflicting further damage to his heart, which is already straining under the effects of hypertension. Although drinking water does help offset the effects of sodium-laden foods, Chris is too busy slurping on Coca-Cola to ever consider adding that to his daily food regime, although he has been drinking more water recently, due to his belief that putting a crystal in his water bottle will give him magical powers.

In [[January 2019]], Chris uploaded the results of a blood sugar and blood pressure screening. Chris's blood pressure is shown to be 121 over 84, classified as ''pre-high blood pressure''.<ref>http://www.bloodpressureuk.org/BloodPressureandyou/Thebasics/Bloodpressurechart</ref> His blood glucose is 63 mg/dL and his total cholesterol is 140, both of which are surprisingly healthy levels considering his lifestyle.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1084128581360513025</ref>

In [[June 2019]], Chris, via [[MagiChan111448|his sockpuppet account]], claimed to have suffered a heart attack, and that he went to the emergency room.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Heart attack claim]]</ref>. However, it turned out to have been a case of heartburn - his doctor referred to it as a gastro issue and advised taking Tums.<ref>[[:File:MergeComic11.jpg]]</ref>

==Excretory health==
{{main|DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Piss}}

Chris has had a long history of fecal incontinence. One factor likely contributing to this is his diet. His continued [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|abuse]] of his anus and rectum has not helped.

Chris also has a history of urinary tract infections, despite the condition being uncommon with men.

As mentioned in the previous section, Chris has revealed that he is now putting soy sauce on everything that is not sweet. In addition to worsening his renal health, when combined with the laxative effects of his intake of twelve prunes a day (part of the same breast growth formula), this is only likely to result in a higher frequency of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]
[[File:CWC Joker.jpg|thumb|Quite a stirring coincidence.]]

[[Chris and mental healthcare|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto), to schizophrenia (signs include his disorganized speech and writing, loss of contact with [[Chris and reality|reality]], and paranoid ideas about being the victim of persecution or "conspiracies" – such as his delusional belief that [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]] were somehow responsible for him getting banned from [[Walmart]]).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch – he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For well over a decade, he has been led on by various trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he continually falls for it. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years – because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30s, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[women's rights|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris later would [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity for real]], albeit to a hooker; as of yet, he has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life. In fact, he has been plunging himself and his mother even further into debt to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]] or his [[PSEye|camera]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara Chandler#Pampering of Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to recognize people's faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[Manchester High School|high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140825091156/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This is how the Trial went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky_Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Chris began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos on YouTube in 2016. On 29 June, he uploaded [[Announcement 06292016|Announcement 06292016-2]], in which he claimed that the music cured his autism:

{{quotebox|Hey [[fans]], I forgot one thing to mention. I have- I've actually been on a- subliminal project, as a lot of you- or some of you- might have been... aware of, through my history or whatever... That I try to keep private amongst my YouTube settings.

But I have been enjoying for the past 3 months the "Get Rid of Autism" subliminal. [[Naive|The one that actually works]] in three months so less than [''stutters''] three times per day. 36 times.

I have been doin' that I've actually found myself more mentally capable. I don't- I do not blank out as much, I feel a little bit [[Slow-in-the-minds|faster]] in mental processing... Aaand I feel a whole lot better so with that [''puts out hands''] I'm essentially [[Autism#Autism cured?|cured of autism]]. Oh and also I actually have been able to socialize better out in public, so that's another good deal right there.

I'm gonna put the link underneath this video... And those of y'all with autism... Try for yourself. Three- play it three times, per day... for three months. [''Points to head''] It worked for me. [''Thumbs up'']}}

However, in a November Facebook post, he was back to referring to himself as a "high-functioning autistic person."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris mentioned in August 2017 that he takes Valium, a drug used to treat [[stress|anxiety and nervousness]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2017_tweets#On_wearing_the_unicorn_cosplay_to_church</ref>

{{quote|I took a rest and some valium after I got back home. I feel some recovered, but feel some mild headache now.|Chris, on taking the drug after feeling stress from being told not to wear his [[unicorn cosplay]] at church.}}

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease] or the result of engaging in dangerous prone masturbation), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; [[Virgin with rage|you can probably guess why]].

==Gender transitioning==
{{see also|Transgender}}
===Hormone treatment===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]
Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones (which can cause health issues unless strictly monitored according to the patient's health profile).

Unfortunately, Chris has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Oestrogel has several health risks such as but not limited to; fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill but failed to connect the dots and see that taking over-dosages of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

In addition to Oestrogel, Chris has been taking supplements such as vitamins. He purchased a jar of Solaray Female Hormone Blend Vitamins in August 2016,<ref>https://archive.md/nY76j/</ref> which is meant to ease menopausal symptoms. [[Arthur Spatchcock]] also learned that, around [[May 2016]], Chris was fond of eating Fenugreek seeds because he believed it would increase his estrogen levels (being unaware that it would have no effect on him, since he is not on estrogen).<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170811082043/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-562#post-1475700</ref>

At some point in fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT]]</ref>

===Un-clit===
One day in September 2014, Chris decided to get [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Piercings require constant disinfection while they heal, anywhere on the body, even for very clean people, and so many trolls were concerned that considering Chris's general filthiness and the fact that the location of the piercing would receive very little air, there was a serious risk of infection. In December, he shared another picture of this piercing which showed that, while it wasn't infected, the piercing had begun to reject (''tearing the skin'' in the process). Making lemonade out of lemons, Chris (now in the throes of his transwoman fantasy) noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced, without giving the original wound any longer than about a week to heal. Fortunately, Chris gave up on it after it became clear that the piercing was going to be more hassle than it was worth, and removed it for good before any serious harm was done.

===Self-inflicted taint wound===
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}

In [[July 2016]], Chris posted about a wound on his taint, announcing that he had gotten it as a result of [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] and would be growing new labia as a result. However, as the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] later discovered, Chris actually went ahead and '''sliced himself open with a knife in order to free the vagina he thought was growing within him'''.

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.<ref>https://archive.md/KbKpe</ref>}}

===Rejected by a blood bank===
In January 2017, Chris complained on Facebook that he had been turned away from a blood drive for being transgender.<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref> He stated that the given reason was "the FDA saw to not accept blood from Transgender people, due to the varying levels of testosterone/estrogen balances in our blood." Chris does not realize how medically sensitive patients will be when receiving blood transfusions, and that it would not be in their interests to be taking blood with hormonal imbalances, especially from Chris, whose blood has been affected by both his unhealthy lifestyle and the dangerous intake of the unsupervised Oestrogel drug.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[COVID-19]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Captain's Log

2022-11-06T18:27:55Z

FireLiz: replacing page link

[[File:CWCtrek1.png|center|450px]]
{{Quote|Real life: the final frontier. These are the fails of the lolcow Chris-Chan. His continuing Love Quest: to explore strange new Attraction Locations, to seek out new gal-pals, and new sweethearts; to boldly go where no high-functioning autistic virgin has gone before.}}
[[Image:Captain's Log.jpg|thumb|Ladies, set Tasers to stun.]]

"'''Captain's Log'''" was, for a while [[Chris]]'s usual opening to a video blog, first appearing in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|24 September 2008 video]]. It comes from popular sci-fi franchise ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]''. In a typical episode, the captain, commander or other senior crew member would make an entry to log what has happened in the situation prior to the beginning of the episode. Most ''Star Trek'' Captain's Log entries are noticeably void of [[tard rage]].

Sometimes, Chris gave an incorrect date (though the date is technically always incorrect since he says "Stardate" and gives a Gregorian Calendar date), or failed to provide a date at all. An example of Chris giving an incorrect date would be many of the entries made in [[July 2009]]. The [[CWCki]] has organized the Captain's Log entries by the date they were uploaded.

In many Captain's Logs from 2017, Chris instead gives the day's date in MM/DD/YYYY format as a string of eight digits, possibly in an effort to sound [[Honor Roll|more technical or scientific]]. For example, [[CLog 06142017]] has Chris pronouncing "Stardate zero-six-one-four-two-zero-one-seven". [[Speech impediment|Surprisingly]], Chris rarely stumbles over such long strings of numbers, though he does say them in a stilted manner and sometimes has trouble remembering them.

In his later videos, Chris began to stop including it, and he had completely ceased to use it by [[2011]]. However, the opening made a glorious return on 18 July 2016 with [[Update 20160718]], only to be quickly and unceremoniously abandoned for nearly a year. Starting in [[April 2017]] with [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], Chris has begun consistently referring to his YouTube livestreams as Captain's Logs again, though he typically abbreviates it as [[CWC-isms|"C-Log" or "CLog"]] in the video titles. Of special note is [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]], wherein Chris wears [[Chris and fashion|his classic shirt]] and [[Sonichu Medallion]] and introduces the video as a Captain's Log. It seems that Chris is capitalizing on nostalgia for his older days to [[Chris and money#Begging|bait his own trolls into giving him money]].

More recently, he has taken to opening his videos with "Hello everybody, this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from home once again," even though most of the videos with this introduction were not recorded live.

"Captain's Log" appeared for the final time in [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]. Several weeks after the video's release, Chris would find himself arrested for [[Affair with Mother|banging his own mom]].

==Characteristics==

Generally, a Captain's Log video is one in which Chris addresses his fanbase, a sort of video blog where he asks his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] to be his personal army or to express his hatred about some [[troll]].

This is in contrast to other styles of Chris videos, such as those where he addresses a specific individual (often expecting people to know he's posted a video about them, such as [[Michael Snyder]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]]) or his [[Chris and music|music videos]].

Occasionally, a video is [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|dead serious, and therefore not worthy of a Captain's Log introduction.]]

==Chris and ''Star Trek''==
Interestingly enough, Chris is not a Trekker/Trekkie and had never seen any ''Star Trek'' media as of [[2009]].<ref>[[Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 14]]</ref>. His usage of the phrase most likely comes from other shows that reference it, such as ''[[Family Guy]]'' and ''[[Futurama]]''. He may have encountered the phrase from the ''Star Trek'' game he purchased as a result of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] competition, but knowing his gaming habits, he probably never played it.

Chris has a habit of including [[wikipedia:Captain Kirk|Captain James T. Kirk]] on [[January_2020_social_media_posts#Discovery_vs._Creation|various]] [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|long]] [[Jail Letter - 18 January 2022|lists]] of fictional characters, probably because he is aware of the popularity of the ''Star Trek'' franchise.

==Captain's ''Blog''==
In [[November 2009]], Chris began [[CWC Blog|maintaining an irregular text blog]] on the [[CWCipedia]], featuring updates on the progress of his comic and his quest to turn [[Sonichu]] into the heart of a multimedia empire. He also dubbed this a "Captain's Log" and marked the successive entries with "Stardates". It could be found halfway down the right column of the site's front page (and also at Template:Captain's Log<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log Template:Captain's Log]([https://archive.ph/8F0F1 archive])</ref>, and he maintained an archive<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Blog CWC Blog]([https://archive.ph/fLc5O archive])</ref> of his updates.

==Goddess Log==
In a [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|letter from jail dated 8 November 2021]], Chris reveals that he is keeping a journal in jail called his "Goddess Log". He intends to release it to the public when he is released.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Captain's Log}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

CWCipedia

2022-11-06T18:22:44Z

FireLiz:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction.jpg|thumb|Chris proudly claimed the CWCipedia in the name of [[CWCville]].]]

'''CWCipedia''' (4 [[May 2009]] – 26 [[June 2010]]; not to be confused with the [[CWCki]], which was set up by the [[Cogsdev|same webmaster]] and is actually older) was a wiki set up for the sole use of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], as a sort of personal wiki as opposed to Chris vandalizing the CWCki with his [[random-access humor]], [[Chris and his ego|ego stroking]], and "[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|Sweet, Sweet Sex]]". Furthermore, it was designed to allow Chris to "get the truth out" as he so desired to do on [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|his Wikipedia profile]].

Since its inception, Chris more or less treated the page as free web hosting, a place to put his comics without having to pay for the resulting bandwidth use. CWCipedia also served as the ultimate test of MediaWiki's software and its usability, in that it strove to create a platform even an [[autism|autistic]] manchild/layabout can easily use. While Chris does possess some "[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Bob's work history (0:07:18–0:16:58)|technological]]" intelligence, he still managed to fuck it up from time to time, even with a Sysop holding his hand.

==Origins==
Cogsdev informed Chris of the CWCipedia's existence some time in May of 2009. Subsequently, Chris began to edit it on 7 [[June 2009]].

For several months Chris's use of the wiki proceeded without incident. He was able to display his comics and music, share more details of his personal life, reveal more background information about the world of [[CWCville]], and shout his bizarre homophobic rantings from the virtual rooftops in peace. The administrators of the site remained a silent, benevolent force behind the scenes.

Towards the end of 2009, this would change.

==Content==
Most of what appeared on the CWCipedia can be found on this site, within various articles. These were the main headings:

'''Christian in his Own Words''' -- A copy of what he had tried to add to his [[Wikipedia]] talk page.

'''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comic Collection]]'''

'''[[Videobooks|The Sonichu Videobooks Collection]]'''

'''Character Bios'''

'''The Christian Truth'''

Because the Trolls and ALL such Pig-Headed, Closed-Minded Idiots REFUSE to let me TELL them the Truth on THEIR websites with My Own Past Edits they have Undone, HERE is Where I Correct Some to Most of Their Pages filled with Half-Truths, Exaggerations and Lies.

* [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|The Revised Encyclopedia Dramatica Webpage]].

* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]] - **Plenty More To Come.**

Perodicals - Copies of Chris's articles in [[Nintendo Power Magazine]] and [[PVCC]]'s [[Animal Crossing Documentary#PVCC's news report|news report]] about Sonichu.

[[Dating Education]]

'''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'''

Please be advised by the Rules of Downloading my levels to your console.

* Downloading of said levels are for your own on-console gameplay ONLY.
* Republishing of any of my levels with any edits resulting in Mockery, Slander, Homosexual tendencies and/or Hate will be reported with the "Good Grief" to Media Molecule, which may result in being banned from the LittleBiGPlanet community. Also, view their EULA terms from within the LittleBiGPlanet Game's Pause menu.
* These Rules apply Also, respectively, to the ModNation Racers game and all Tracks, Cars and Characters downloaded therein from my own creation from my PSN "Sonichu" account.

Thank you for your Loyalty, Support

'''[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Private villa of corrupted citizens]]'''

'''[[Spanish|CWC Speaks]]'''

'''[[Homos|Homosexuality]]'''

'''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'''

'''[[Family Guy]]'''

[[Mailbag]]

[[CWC Blog]]

Chris also had a tendency to let his mind wander while typing up his entries. For example, in his [[Sonichu]] article, he ended up going off on a tangent explaining what had happened to [[Kel]] (even though it didn't involve Sonichu at all), and the fact that Chris himself is the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon gym. This led into Chris describing his supposed gym at length, what Pokémon he had in his team, and his collection of Pokémon in the game (in addition to their level and how he had leveled them). This somehow led to an idea for a ''Pokémon'' game system that was basically just the "Solid Vision" holographic projector system from ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', except with Pokémon. After all of that tangential nonsense, he got back to talking about Sonichu again.

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Untitled.png|thumb|100px|left|Ensuring that Chris sees them EVERY TIME he visits.]]
[[Image:NewCWCipediaFrontpage.jpg|thumb|Chris's revised frontpage.]]
As 2009 came to a close, CWCipedia's operators ran into financial trouble keeping the site in the black, given the many hits it received on a daily basis and the profusion of large files that were held on its servers. To help keep the site up and running for its [[True and Loyal Fanbase]], the Sysop that maintained the website for Chris turned to selling advertising space on the site. Due to the somewhat complicated laws of the jurisdiction in which the servers resided, ads could only be purchased from within the European Union. Chris made no money from advertisement revenue; all of it went towards keeping the CWCipedia up and running.

These ads were all randomly generated by metadata from Chris and the people browsing the site, not special hand-crafted ads made by [[trolls]], but because of the occasional troll with gay porn in their cookies the odd homoerotic ad appeared, and Chris was not pleased. Chris responded to these ads with a few complaints to the admin and [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was the only donor who delivered over €1,000 (then US$1,482), qualifying him to create '''custom''' advertisements on the site. [[CWC Blog#7 December 2009|In a blog post]], Chris hoped that ''someone'' within the EU would be able to step up and donate so much money that they'd not only qualify for custom ads, as Jack had, but help to ''remove'' the [[homos|homoerotic]] ads that appeared on the site (even though most online advertisers give ''no'' such heavy-handed preferential treatment to premium advertisers, and indeed, no such stated policy existed with CWCipedia either). Shockingly, none of his European fans felt like donating thousands of Euros so that Chris didn't have to occasionally glimpse a [[Brassieres For Males|shirtless man]].

On 27 December 2009, the ad space, previously at the very bottom of CWCipedia's navbar on the left side of the page, was moved to the very top of the navbar. Another ad appeared on Chris's main page beside the logo. On 28 December, Chris flipped out and replaced it with an ad for his beloved [[My Coke Rewards]] program. The sysop reverted it and reprimanded Chris, informing him that he (Chris) had no control over the ad placement.

On 30 December 2009, Chris, unable to change the now-protected main page, lashed out the only way he could, by adding a block of text to the bottom of his (already hideously ugly and cluttered) front page image, declaring that no ads were allowed on that page. Furthermore, it said that he would not remove this block of text until the offending ads were removed from the main page. In other words, Chris defaced ''his own website'' in an attempt to get ''someone else'' to stop advertising on it. This, obviously, did not work.

On 2 January 2010, Chris began cluttering the website with his ads again, shilling for [[CWC Cola|Coca-Cola]], ''[[Wild Sonichu|Avatar]]'', and [[It's UGH!|Proposition 8]]. He bestowed upon himself the title of [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Captain]], posting to CWCipedia:
{{quote|I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another [[Mailbag]] or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so [[Chris and his Ego|as Captain of this website vessel]].
'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''}}

Additionally, Chris posted the following message to his [[Twitter]]:
{{quote|C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and [[Chris and Anger|Mutiny will not be tolerated.]] Stay Safe, and have a good day.}}

As to whether or not Jack would receive forty lashes less one for his inevitable insubordination, Chris had no comment.

Due to gay porn ads on the CWCipedia, on 1 [[February 2010]] Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|unleashed]] a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] upon Mao "Bamboo" Ling, after which he "[[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologized]]" to Alec and [[Evan]].

Eventually, on 26 [[February 2010]], Jack Thaddeus returned with an unclickable ad reading "JACK'S BACK" and featuring a picture of a giant ejaculating [[duck]]. Chris, surprisingly, never reacted, conceivably not having seen it.

{{collapsible
|CWCipedia Advertisement Gallery ~ ''Note: Some captions in this gallery are the alt text and links for the ads.''
|<gallery>
Image:CWCipediaAudiobookAd.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#g/c/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 Watch the newest audiobooks here!]
Image:CWCipediaAutismAd.jpg|[http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/ Asperger's Syndrome is a serious condition. Get the facts.]
Image:CWCipediaVlasicAd.jpg|[http://www.vlasic.com/ Taste the Juicy Crunch!]
Image:CWCipediaGayRightsAd.jpg|[http://gayrights.change.org/ Support Family Guys everywhere!]
Image:CWCipediaMexicoAd.jpg|[http://mexico-travel.com/ Discover the fascinating world of Mexico.]
Image:AxeAd1.png|We all know how [[homos|manly]] [[Axe]] is.
Image:AxeAd2.jpg|In stores now!
Image:Beepboop.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:DateThree.png|[http://www.lotsofloves.com/ Quit playing the waiting game!]
Image:DebtConsolidation.gif|A [[Chris and money| Chris and his money]] are soon parted.
Image:DicksSporting.png|[http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/home/index.jsp No joke.]
Image:Diversity.png|But [[niggos|"No Darkies."]]
Image:DuckPreservationSociety.png|[http://www.woodducksociety.com/ You should always take good care of your duck!]
Image:Eyesight.png|Plus, if you go blind, you can't enjoy shirtless men.
Image:Fkinglie.png|[[Affair with Mother|An ad that foretold of the horrors to come.]]
Image:GayAutismCure.jpg|Get yours today!
Image:GayAutisticSingles.jpg|The man of your dreams could be living next door!
Image:GayAutisticSon.jpg|I bet Chris [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|could]]. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|Twice.]]
Image:GayDrawing1.png|[[Sonichu (comic)|Case in point.]]
Image:GayDrawing2.png|You know what sounds like [[Autism|artistic]]?
Image:GayForGod.png|[[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] approves.
Image:GayOtakuSexClub.jpg|Can I bring my [[Anime Wings|anime wings]]?
Image:GayPokemonDVDs.png|That's digusting! Get a [[Muscle bra|muscle bra]] and cover up!
Image:GLISTENINGHALF-NAKEDBLACKMEN.jpg|This one is my favorite.
Image:Heavenlyreward.png|After you die, you get your [[Semen#Comeuppance|comeuppance]].
Image:HEXBAWKSad.png|A [[Hex Bawx|"life upgrade"]].
Image:HGwait4u1.png|He's already a [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|fan]].
Image:HGwait4u2.png|AUTISM HOOOOOOU~
Image:Hitlerpedia.png|[http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights.html Bill of Rights]
Image:HOTTHROBBINGGAYCOCKjpg.jpg|Cumming to butts near you.
Image:JoinTheNavy.gif|[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-425.html/ DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL.]
Image:JustGuys.png|There's nothing wrong with [[High_school#Social_life|only hanging out with one gender]].
Image:Knight.png
Image:PlayNow.png
Image:Kool-Aid.png|It's recommended by 9 out of 10 High-Functioning Autistics.
Image:LearnAboutIslam.png|Chris has lots of [[mailbag|fans in the Middle East]].
Image:Lipitor.png|Better [[Chris and health|stop taking it]] before it makes you [[homos|gay]].
Image:Mystery pic.png|Can you identify our mystery penis?
Image:Naivewater.png|[[Naïve|It's not what you think it is.]]
Image:OK2BGay.png|[http://okaytobegay.blogspot.com/ There's a big difference between bending down and kneeling over.]
Image:OxieCleanAd.gif|GETS OUT AUTISM, FAST! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
Image:PickelParty.png|Sounds promising.
Image:PicklePops.png|Pop a pickle in your mouth today!
Image:PKMN4HP.gif|That HP kid is a total [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spastic spaz].
Image:Sexvote.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:Specialsomeone.png|They don't meet the [[Attraction Sign|requirements]].
Image:This2this.png|Go from [[Obesity|THIS]] to [[Clyde Cash|THIS]]!
Image:VirginiaLaw.png|[[Jerkop|I am the LAW.]]
Image:CWCipediaChrisLesGayAd.png|[http://www.eflgc.org.uk/ What do you mean, "gay and Christian"? It's not possible...or is it?]
Image:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|It seriously is.
</gallery>}}

==The Twitter feed==
{{main|Twitter}}
On 25 December 2009, the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the [[Mailbag|mailbag]]. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of the 27th Chris removed it in a fit of rage and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN GAYS!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 December 2009 (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later, Chris would create a special page for the Twitter feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his followers with stories of him doing yardwork. The wise and the magnanimous Sysop later put the feed on the front page of CWCipedia, due to the fact that ''(ahem)'' it probably needed some wider exposure.

== A history of (un)availability ==
===CWCipedia closed due to A(I)DS===
[[Image:CWCipedia-Home-Copyright.jpg|thumb|The CWCipedia as it appeared on 1/1/10. Note the ad about [[Asperger's]].]]
During the last weeks of 2009, Chris became more and more infuriated as the gay ads continued piling up. In desperation, Chris began placing ads of his own that didn't inspire uncomfortable questions about his sexuality. Again, the Sysop ordered Chris to cease his insubordination.

On 2 January 2010, the CWCipedia was served a cease and desist notice by the Coca-Cola Company for its unauthorized use of their logo on the site. Thus, the Sysop was forced to close the website for a few days until the matter could be resolved. Having gotten a little first-hand lesson regarding what [[Chris and copyright|copyright law]] is all about, Chris issued an [[This_was_my_fault|apology]] on YouTube. In the video, he claimed that he thought Coke would appreciate the free advertisement, naturally unaware that Coke probably don't want their products advertised on a quasi-literate homophobe's shrine to his own Sonic recolors.

Within a few days, all depictions of the logo were removed and the site was up and running.

===Closed (again) due to theft===
[[Image:Cwcipedia closed again.jpg|thumb|right|The CWCipedia's source page as of 2/6/10.]]
In the early morning of 6 February 2010, the CWCipedia was closed down again, this time thanks to a [[Wikipedia:Digital Millennium Copyright Act|DMCA]] request from representatives of [[Evan|Evan George]]. According to the request, Chris's use of the character [[Simonla Rosechu]] on his website and in his comics infringed upon Evan's intellectual property, as Simonla was clearly derivative of Evan's character [[Simonchu]]. This was most likely triggered by Chris's announcement, [[5 February 2010|in a video from 5 February]], that he agreed to do away with Simonla and stop featuring her in his comics, but only at an unspecified "later" time.

Three days after the CWCipedia was locked to edits, it was wiped from the Internet entirely. In its place appeared a redirect link to Asperpedia; however, due to a bug, it redirected to an online role-playing game, ''Dogs of the Seas''.

===CWCipedia lives on===
On 12 February 2010, the CWCipedia was revived to a certain extent. Although it was still locked to edits and only a "login required" screen was accessible, it was functional enough for Alec Benson Leary to display the first two pages of [[Asperchu#Sonichu_Revolution|''Sonichu Revolution'']]. The next day, Chris fulfilled [[Evan]]'s request and the CWCipedia was restored for all people to see. ''Sonichu Revolution'' continued onward from there, prominently featured at the top of every page of the CWCipedia.

On 24 February 2010, a new set of ads appeared on the CWCipedia, calling Chris out on his [[Christian Love Day (video)|unwarranted self-importance]] on his birthday, with a message from Sean imploring fans to give gifts to victims in Haiti instead. For a few days after this, visitors were treated to the sight of a series of animated ads featuring gigantic ejaculating cocks, revenge from Jack Thaddeus in response to Chris's execution of the Asperpedia Four at the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

===Closed due to parody===
{{quote|Also, you might want to take a look at your site before you go around advertising it... Some pretty vulgar vandalism you have going on there on a majority of pages.|Some guy on LittleBigWorkshop. Chris never read this and discovered the vandalism the next day.}}

Going into [[March 2010]], Chris appeared to lose all interest in updating the site or presenting any meaningful new content. He neglected updating the Mailbag and stopped uploading new comic pages. His only additions to the site in the first three weeks of March were a series of rants directed at trolls and his fans, where he accused them of breaking up his pursuit of [[The Wallflower]] and complained that the demand for new ''Sonichu'' comics was ruining his life.

On 18 March 2010, CWCipedia was taken down and replaced with a redirect to a [[parody]] version of the website run by [[Mao]]. The Sysop had decided to allow Mao to buy a permanent redirect for $100. Since Chris was the Captain, he decided to sail the S.S. ''CWCipedia'' into an iceberg and let it sink, making Jack pull all his funding and forcing the Sysop to shut the site down for good.

===CWCipedia opened for everybody===
{{main|CWCipedia vandalism}}
{{Quote|STOP THIS!!! THIS IS MY DOMAIN, and I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SCREW IT UP!!!|Chris, somewhat upset.}}
[[Image:Niggachris.jpg|thumb|One of the hundreds of images uploaded by trolls during their epic vandalism.]]
A day later, however, the original CWCipedia returned. At the same time, Mao was given sysop, bureaucrat, and oversight powers on the site, suggesting the arrival of a new "captain" on deck. The result was much good vandalism, most notably on the main page itself, by "Kine", "SEANBOTMK2", "ALECBOTMK2", "EVANBOTMK2", and "Metal Asperchu". Soon, account creation was enabled for all and the website was vandalised beyond recognition in a glorious blizzard of [[pickle|pickles]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unflattering internal links]].

===CWCipedia death and resurrection===
Early on 22 March, the Sysop returned to the site after being busy on other projects and quickly reversed everything back to the pre-Mao state of the site. However, much of the vandalism continued to remain in the history of many of the pages, and several pages were not changed back, either due to her skipping over them or simply not caring.

During the early hours of 31 March, the front page of the CWCipedia [[Patti Chandler|decomposed]] into HTML code. This was attributed to the nature of the 110mb server. The [[Honest content|TRUE and HONEST]] version created by [[Mao]] died in July.

Whether it was coincidence or an act of Godbearjesus, the CWCipedia came back on Easter Sunday. It is more likely that some technicians actually worked through the Easter weekend just so an autistic manchild could carry on putting up badly drawn comics when he felt like it.

===Traitorous mutiny===
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop uploaded the rest of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] and updated the [[Captain's Log]]. However, many quickly learned that these new pages may not have been as TRUE and HONEST as they first appeared, as they involved [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] filing for divorce, [[Reginald Sneasel]] whipping [[pickle|it]] out in front of [[Robbie]], [[Sandy]] getting hit by a car, [[Wild]] committing suicide by blowing his head off, and all three of the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu kids]] getting killed by drinking detergent (actually, Cerah survived, but was put out of her misery by being smothered with a pillow). Two days later, Chris discovered the vandalism and replaced all of the images with a disclaimer that work on ''Sonichu'' #11 was ongoing. He then called out on the Sysop's "traitorous mutiny", but was willing to forgive her, probably by virtue of [[Chris and gender|her gender]]. He then ranted about how he would find peace off the Internet, [[Youtube Finale|suggesting he may]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|quit the Internet]]... again. ('''SPOILER ALERT:''' He didn't.)

===A new face===
{{quote|DO NOT "[[South Park|SOUTH PARK]]" MY WORK.|Chris, on Daria's changes.}}
On 13 [[May 2010]], a new user called DariaCamacho appeared on the CWCipedia. She then proceeded to edit the main page and its templates as well as making new character bios. Chris, still highly paranoid after [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], reverted her edits on 14 May. The next day, displaying HTML skills similar to Chris, she broke the main page, which was again reverted, and added a message to her talk page asking Chris why he didn't appreciate her edits. [[Ego|We all know why.]] Chris then added his own response on 16 May, telling her not to "[[South Park]]" his work.

DariaCamacho was eventually revealed to be Mao.

===CWCipedia gets gang-banged (again)===
On 26 May 2010, CWCipedia was hacked, again. And once again, it was open to everyone. Several pages, once blanked and/or deleted were restored, and [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] had the FALSE and DISHONEST comic pages back up.

Frustrated by this new wave of trolling, Chris, [[100 2188|in a video message]], abandoned ship:

{{quote|As of today, May 27, 2010, I, Christian Weston Chandler, relinquish what was the Cwcipedia. [[Chris and copyright#Copyright registration|I am keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday, as well as my Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all therein.]]

I stand by my own past statements, and I ignore and heavily disagree with, detest and abolish all that are stated Against me on the Internet.

[[Chris and his Ego|I never meant to become famous]], and I wish to [[Manchester High School|go back]] to when there was little against me.}}

With the declaration made, the CWCipedia rapidly begin to dissolve into chaos. However, Mao Ling swooped in and rescued it. Given to [[Vivian Gee]], the CWCipedia was revived and a new season of ''Sonichu'' began.

===The end===
[[File:Gufu.PNG|thumb|Chris after looking at the vandalism]]
On 26 June 2010, the CWCipedia (or "''Sonichu'' Fans Wiki", as it had been called by its [[Asperpedia|new owners]]) was finally terminated. As of November 2022, the archive.org archives of the CWCipedia remain online.

==See also==
* [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]
* [[Sonichu Headquarters Troll Edits]]

==External links==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20170727085612/https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page archive of the archive]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20100301051605/http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page Secondary archive]
{{CWCipediaSaga}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]

Book10Replacement

2022-11-06T13:56:23Z

FireLiz:

{{Quote|Have you seen my pussy? She has run off attached to the teats of my lovely wife.|[[Mao]]}}

'''Book10Replacement''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, with the presentation style of the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris shows off the "[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|corrected]]" version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], something he claimed to have started on months prior.

Instead of being executed, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live among the Amish for the rest of their lives, without access to the Internet and thus without the ability to troll. Mao gets a "mandatory chosen wife", even though the real Amish do not practice arranged marriage and courtship is usually a private matter.<ref>[http://www.everyculture.com/North-America/Amish-Marriage-and-Family.html]</ref> [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] dies after crashing into a mountain, and [[Kathleen]] is imprisoned for marijuana possession.

The pages were done to appease [[Jackie]], who actually wanted something else entirely: knowing that Chris had promised Alec that the ending will eventually be replaced with something nicer than a hideous bloodbath, she wanted the comic to have a kinder ending, with a parade where Chris forgives [[Alec]] and [[Asperchu]] and acknowledges that they've tried to help him - just to demonstrate that Chris has actually gotten over this issue.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref><ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> Of course, his failure to do this, and the repeated lies that followed, turned out to be extremely telling.

These new pages are horrendously unfinished even by Chris's standards. None of them are colored and the majority of the action is textwalling. The dialog is appallingly dull even by ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' standards. Some wonder why he even bothered. Eventually, these pages were completed and were finally published to [[Facebook]] on 13 [[September 2015]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Book10Replacement
| ytid = w-1C9xN4dPc
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| previous = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
| next = [[DrainedCreativity]]
}}

{{quote|He has been doing good being [[Christian Weston Chandler|the village idiot]] his whole life.}}

=== Transcript ===

'''Chris:''' Wait- it is done! I can now reveal to you the true pages of which- replace the ones that were gory... and outrageous. Starting with page 90 where we end the trial. 
'''Sean:''' In our defense, we have a rock! 
'''Judge:''' I think we've heard enough. Jury? 
'''Jury:''' We, the jury, find the defendants guilty times four! 
'''Judge:''' I agree! I hereby sentence the four of them to residence in an [[Wikipedia:Amish|Amish]] community! No technology access whatsoever, for the rest of their lives! Court is adjourned! 
[''Next page''] 
'''Narrator:''' Meanwhile, in the D.C. Maximum Security Prison... 
'''[[Slaweel Yram]]:''' Eeheheheheehee! My spell is completed! I will wreak havoc on [[CWCville|that city]] once again! I am Slaweel! 
[''Next page: Slaweel has been knocked into the wall by an explosion of some sort.''] 
'''Slaweel:''' Urgh! ...Urgh! Dang it! 
'''Guard:''' Hahahaha! Another failed spell, 06960. 
'''Slaweel:''' Shut up! 
'''Guard:''' Anyway, you have a new cellmate. 
[''Slaweel's new cellmate is revealed to be [[Kathleen]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s woman love slave.''] 
'''Slaweel:''' Huh. So, what did they get you for, lady? 
[''Next page''] 
'''Kathleen:''' Hmm. Well, I think [''?''] as well, Slaweel. Anyway after the [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent_Garbage]] building collapse, Jason and I made our escape. After we got away we had a fight, and he dumped me. He had caught me cheating on him with [[Beel|the secretary]]! I was distraught. I got and used- I went and got and used some... I got and used some [[Tobacky|marijuana]]... a lot of it. The police had caught me using it, I was tried, and now here I am. I heard Jason crashed into a mountain and died. That son of a [[Chris and censorship|*BEEP*]] got what he deserved. Trolling and torturing innocent people is [[Beel|devil]]'s work anyway! ...Hmm. 
'''Slaweel:''' Did you smuggle any MJ in? 
'''Kathleen:''' No, they frisked me and got all I had was from my breasts and up my asshole. [?] 
'''Slaweel:''' Oh. 
[''Next page: we see an extremely crude depiction of a horse-drawn carriage.''] 
'''Narrator:''' One month later, in the Amish community... 
[''Chris makes clopping noises.''] 
[''Next page: [[Mao]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] are dressed in Amish clothing''] 
'''Alec:''' Good day, neighbor Mao! 
'''Mao:''' Good day, neighbor Alec! 
'''Alec:''' How are you today? 
'''Mao:''' I had pleasant night's sleep, and my [[Women's rights|mandatory chosen wife]], she had... my mandatorily chosen wife. She had fixed a good [[Christian's sex joke|bacon and eggs]] with biscuits for breakfast! That is good. 
'''Alec:''' Yes it is. 
[''Chris hums a tune as we see Sean step on a rake lying on the ground and get whacked in the face. This joke is almost certainly "[[Things Chris has ripped off|borrowed]]" from [[The Simpsons]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Cape Feare|Cape Feare]]."''] 
[''Next page: The Amish trolls continue to talk.''] 
'''Alec:''' Well! Neighbor Sean has hit himself with the rake again. 
'''Mao:''' Yes. 
'''Alec:''' He has been doing good being [[Slow-in-the-minds|the village idiot]] his whole life. 
'''Mao:''' I agree! 
'''Alec:''' I am looking forward merrily to today's barn raising. Mrs. Baisley is making her famous... beans and bread. 
'''Mao:''' Oh! Ms. Baisley is making her beans and bread again? I enjoy her beans and bread greatly. I enjoy her good food with her delicious milk freshly squeezed from her teat. 
'''Alec:''' Yes, her bovine breasts give the best milk around, neighbor Mao. 
'''[[Evan Christopher George]]:''' Neighbor Mao? Neighbor Alec... you are mistaken! I am neighbor Evan. 
'''Alec:''' Oh dear! I am in error. Where is neighbor Mao? 
'''Evan:''' He has gone to the store for vittles. 
[''Next page: Mao is in the general store.''] 
'''Mao:''' Good day, shopkeep. I would like two pounds of black-eyed beans, ten carrots, fifty pounds of grain. Have you seen- And have you seen my [[Chandler Cats|pussy]]? She has run off attached to the teats of my [[Lovely Weather|lovely wife]]. 
[''Next page: Same as the ending of the original [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]].''] 
'''Chris:''' And then the end of- the end of the story. And those are the replacement pages for book number ten. Thank you very much and have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]|nextlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==Sources==
<references/>
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-10-30 d]]

Affair with Mother

2022-11-05T21:58:50Z

FireLiz:

:''This page is about the affair itself. For the leaks in which Chris describes incestuous acts, see [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]]. For the subsequent legal consequences, see [[Jail Saga]]. For Chris's general stance on incest, see [[Chris and sex#Incest|here]].''

{{Honest}}
{{Misinfo|Chris has a felony charge of incest, not rape. Whether or not Chris's incestuous affair with Barb was entirely consensual is not known for sure. Along with that, the root cause of it currently cannot be verified, and Barb's mental state at the time can merely be guessed at. While reports often claim that Barb has dementia, these claims are entirely unproven and are based on circumstantial evidence in begging videos, where she may be playing up her frailty to elicit pity for more money. Letters where Chris describes Barb as being "zombie-like" and "sickly" also cannot be used against him in court unless he is first charged with rape, as they are purely his word.<ref group=note>Chris has currently only been formally accused of incest, though this indictment may be subject to change when new evidence comes to light.</ref> In light of all of that, ''avoid calling Chris a rapist on this wiki unless he is officially charged, or has been fully confirmed to have raped Barb.}}

{{quote|Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, [[Honest Content|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother]].|Chris on [[Facebook]] in [[2016]]. Chris would act on his instincts five years later.<ref name=dream>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts]]</ref>}}
{{quote|You're supposed to say: "Turn me loose, you silly goose!" '''...You used to do that more flirtingly.'''|Chris while forcefully embracing [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] on a [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|Twitch stream]], indirectly warning us of what was to come.}}
[[File:SoulBonding.jpg|thumb|An artist's interpretation of the act. ([[For Julie's Eyes Only|We can only imagine that Chris shouted "BARBAAAY!" at least once when this happened.]])]]
For years, trolls joked that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], in his desperation to find a [[boyfriend-free girl]], would eventually turn to [[Barbara|his mom]] based on his occasional off‐putting comments about her and their constant proximity to one another. Few thought he would ever go through with the act, though — but Chris found a way to surprise and horrify everybody.

Chris and Barb's '''incestuous affair''' most likely began on 27 June,<ref name=call>[[Incest call#Transcript]]</ref><ref name=wct/> but [[June 2021 social media posts|his social media presence in]] earlier in the month, may hint at an earlier start to the affair. As early as 22 June, he began addressing Barbara by the unsettling pet name of "Barbie Chan", which may have indicated when he began to get intimate with her. After this date Chris claimed that he had sex with her once every three nights until being forcibly stopped by being removed from the house.

On 28 July 2021, during a call with [[Isabella Loretta Janke|Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke]], [[Honest Content|Chris revealed the details of his sexual activities with his mother of his own volition]], also discussing it in text messages later that day. In those, Chris discussed stimulating his elderly mother with his hands, performing cunnilingus on her, and having penetrative sex with her.<ref name=deviant>[[Incest Texts]]</ref> He claimed that Barbara compared him favorably to her previous sexual partners, including Chris's father [[Bob]], who had been unable to provide her with an orgasm or stimulate her {{w|G-spot}}.

Files were leaked to the public the following night,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/oudn5m/chris_chan_admits_to_having_sex_with_his_mother/</ref> and social workers removed Chris from Barbara on the morning of 30 July.

In early August 2021, Chris was [[Jail Saga|arrested, officially charged with one count of incest, and is currently being held without bail – pending trial]].

Chris has [[Affair with Mother#Chris's Comments on the Affair post-incarceration|commented on the charges against him]] numerous times since his arrest. As can be seen below, he initially appeared to acknowledge that incest occurred between him and his mother but later denied it.

==Background and foreshadowing==
{{Needs Updating|[[Lonely feelings]], [[Teen Troon Squad chats]]}}

[[File:July28BeautyArtwork.jpg|thumb|left|400px|Note the talk of "soul bonding" in the right-hand corner.]]

In general, the relationship between Chris and his mother has always been seen as a "little too close", likely due to his mother's overly coddling nature towards him in his early life all through to his adulthood mixed with the emotionally abusive control tactics she implemented against both him and Bob. It was keenly noted during the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie Saga]] that Chris had used the words "[[darling]]" and "dear", commonly reserved for romantic relationships, to refer to his mother.

Many Christorians have noted that potential hints or patterns that would indicate sexual activity between Chris and his mother have been made previously. In a [[PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!|2010 voice chat]] between various [[PVCC]] forum members, [[Kim Wilson]] talked about a discussion where Chris revealed he was spooning his mother on a regular basis. She also revealed that Chris told her that he'd once had a [[Dreams|wet dream]] about Barb as an Egyptian belly dancer. When asked by Emily if he'd repopulate the planet if he and his mother were the only two people left in existence, Chris went silent and then denied any desire to have sex with his mother.

[[File:SuitressRedditPost.jpg|thumb|"Top 10 Hottest Anime Moms Ever", a video Chris watched on 25 July 2021, days before he confessed to incestuous acts on his mother.<ref>Date can be seen in [[:File:SuitressTablet.jpg]]</ref>]]

As early as October 2015, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] noted that at Chris's plea arrangement for the [[pepper spray]] incident, Chris and his mother were touching each other in an unusually intimate and inappropriate fashion.<ref>[[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing]]</ref> As recently as 2019, Chris, whilst roleplaying as [[Magi-Chan]], referred to his mother as a "guilty pleasure waifu''[sic]''". Furthermore, in August 2016, Chris admitted to having [[Dreams#Mother_dreams|dreams of having sex with his mother]] in a Facebook post stating that "I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother".<ref name=dream></ref> Troll [[Arthur Spatchcock]] disclosed on the Kiwi Farms that following the [[2014 house fire]], Chris and his mother were routinely spooning. At the time, Chris denied any impropriety, stating "I am not a '[[wikipedia:Norman Bates|Bates]]'. OMG."<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>

According to both [[Bella]] and [[MKRNightVee]], Chris brought up the dreams of sex with his mother again to them in private conversations. In a 19 [[July 2021]] conversation with the [[Chess Club]] Discord server, Bella mentioned that Chris, during his phase of [[role-play]]ing as Sonichu, brought up that he had a dream of having sex with his mother, to which Bella replied that it was weird and questioned what it meant, to which an offended Chris asked if she was calling Chris weird.<ref>[[Chess Club Chats#Suicide Plan Claims]]</ref> On 30 [[July 2021]], MKR commented about the leak of the incest news, and mentioned that Chris had told her about sexual dreams with his mother, and that MKR dismissed it as one of Chris's many crazy dreams.<ref>https://twitter.com/MKR11217089/status/1421182090586988549 (archive: https://archive.ph/Scjbk)</ref>

[[July 2021 social media posts#Beauty artwork|Chris released a piece of artwork on his Twitter feed]] on 28 [[July 2021]], showing "soul-bonding" between an elderly Libra woman (which Barb is) and a younger woman that suspiciously looks like [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's fictionalized counterpart]], clandestinely hinting at the horrifying affair that was just days from being revealed (the only major inconsistency is that Chris is a Pisces and appears elsewhere in the picture with the correct sign). [[The Suitress]] had also posted a screen cap of a video on Reddit, which Chris claimed that he had watched days prior to his affair being revealed.

Chris had stated [[Lonely feelings|in a conversation]] he had with [[Watchmen]] members that he had feelings of loneliness, and had wanted to get action on with a real, physical woman. Unfortunately for everyone, Chris's desires would lead him to a very dark place.

== The affair ==

On 27 June 2021, Chris began to engage in incest with his mother.<ref name=call/><ref name=wct>[[WCT DMs#New sweetheart]]</ref> Chris claimed he "approached her with care and caution," and that Barb even made the "first move."<ref name=call/>

When pressed for details on the dirty deed, Chris has shown an unsurprising lack of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] for his actions, stating that his actions were ordained by [[Chris and religion|GodJesus Himself]]. If anything, he was more upset that [[Bella]], [[Null]], [[Dillin]], and other people ratted him out [[Honest Content|after he provided a confession to a felony]].<ref>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref><ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref>

=== The gory details ===

{{Protip|[[Fabricated BDSM texts|Texts purporting BDSM roleplay]] are fakes doctored by Bella. With that said, this list is still not entirely reliable, as details may vary and because Chris is [[List of Chris's lies|typically not interested in honesty in these scenarios]].}}
[[File:SurrealIncest.png|thumb|A surreal depiction of the events]]
In case you have some kind of morbid curiosity of how the affair could have went down, here is a list of "activities" that Chris had allegedly done to/with his mother:

#'''Massages'''<ref>[[July 2021 social media posts#Signature sex move]]</ref> - Presumably full body ones since it included her thighs (and her face for some reason); this is probably the same type of massage he gave to [[Mia Hamm]]. Chris also claimed in a chat with [[The WCT]] that he had bought massaging oil, and made the claim that it is perfect to use on one's lover. <ref>[[WCT DMs#Massage oil and dream]]</ref>
#'''Kissing''' - Apparently did not involve tongues.
#'''Outer Course''' - Rubbing her pussy with his fingers and hands, this happened at least twice before the next step, probably more.
#'''Intercourse''' - By this, he means fingering her, it apparently hurt her when he did so.
#'''Cunnilingus''' - Eating her out, [[Chris and his ego|claims he's good at it]]. No information about if she returned the favor. <ref name=deviant/>
#'''Penetration''' - Vaginal, apparently with the use of a condom, he proceeded to get himself tested for STI's afterwards anyway.
#'''Cuddling''' - According to a letter from jail, Chris supposedly "cuddled" with Barb in the times of incest.<ref name=letter>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>

According to [[Null]], Chris had been buying large amounts of sex toys and lingerie from [[Adam & Eve]] for several months prior to committing his acts. What sex toys Chris potentially used, if any, is uncertain.

===Negligee===
{{Main|Negligee}}
[[File:CWCWithFanJun27.png|thumb|100px|left|A photo of Chris wearing the negligee in front of a fan.]]
Chris stated that he purchased a negligee and claimed that Barb approved of the idea.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Sexy negligee]]</ref> This was eventually confirmed on 3 March 2022, when a Reddit fan posted photos of themselves with Chris in the negligee.

{{clear}}

==Rationalizations==
Chris has rationalized the affair in multiple ways.

*'''Divine approval''' - Chris claimed in the [[Incest Call]] that God told him the incest was okay.

*'''Soul-Bonding and Healing''' - In a jail letter that [[Emanuel]] told him to have sex with Barb in order to "heal" her and "cleanse her of her sins".<ref name=letter/> In a later letter, Chris mentions that "Soul Bonding does not necessarily constitute sex" which implies that it ''can'' be.<ref>[[Jail_Letter - 16_November_2021]]</ref> He described soul-bonding as "the Bonding and Union of Auras (Energy Fields) between at least two individuals."<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 June 2022]]</ref> Chris seems to be under the impression that if he didn't engage in this "healing" then Barbara would have died or being more heavily injured by her recent car accident, completely ignoring the fact that if Chris had not engaged in it, chances are Barb wouldn't have been in a car accident at all, since she wouldn't have been forced to drive on her own due to her son's absence.<ref>[[Jail_Letter - 11 January 2022]]</ref>

*'''Defense measure against Sockness''' - Chris claimed that "my having had sex is also a defense mechanism in regards to [[Sockness]] and what he had/may have in mind with me and being near me," referring to Sockness's history of scheming to have sex with Chris, and that Chris planned to use the fact of his affair as a "truth bomb" to deter Sockness.<ref name=soulbonding>[[Bella chats#Soul Bonding]]</ref>

==Awareness of wrongdoing==
Chris was aware of the illegal nature of incest. In August 2016, he read a news article on the topic of a mother and son charged with incest and commented over Facebook on it, defending the two and saying they should not be sent to jail.<ref name=dream></ref>

Five years later, in the midst of his own affair with his mother, Chris still demonstrated awareness that the action was illegal. While he desired to discuss the affair with people, he first concocted a cover story in which he used misleading euphemisms such as "lady friend" to describe his sexual partner and claimed that the supposed lady friend and Barb had met each other<ref name=spill>[[Bella chats#Chris Wants to Spill the Beans]]</ref><ref>[[WCT DMs#Chris describes his lady friend]]</ref> and he insisted on keeping the identity of the lady friend secret,<ref name=soulbonding></ref><ref name=null>[[Null DMs#Chris vaguely describes his relationship]]</ref><ref name=wct></ref> though he dropped hints such as age<ref name=soulbonding></ref> and employment history.<ref name=null></ref>

After a month of using his cover story, Chris decided to push further and tell someone that his mother was the sexual partner. He selected [[Bella]]. Before telling her, Chris first spent time trying to manipulate her into keeping silent on what he would say by use of a guilt trip.

{{quote|And I ask you Not to Overthink or ask for further details in pressing on. That is not a good thing to do.|Chris to Bella, 17 July 2021<ref name=soulbonding></ref>}}

Over a week later, Chris, ready to divulge his secret, first claimed to Bella that he was uncertain of telling her as he was concerned about the government hacking into the conversation, which backfired on Chris as this tipped off Bella into suspecting that he was about to discuss an illegal act.<ref>[[Bella and Suitress chats#Bella suspects incest]]</ref>

{{quote|I realize I am remaining and sounding distant on the questioning, and it will become more clear and obvious when I tell you, in-person, who she is.

I actually wish I could tell you over text or voice call, but the government and anyone with the tech can easily hack into those methods|Chris, prior to the [[Incest Call]].<ref name=spill></ref>}}

Within the same conversation, Chris recommended using the encrypted text/video call app Signal (having used it to communicate with [[Null]]), which Bella agreed to download.<ref name=spill></ref>

==Leaks==
{{main|Incest call|Incest texts}}
In the leaks, Chris admits that he and his mother engaged in substantial sexual activity, including Chris masturbating his mother, and engaging in penetrative intercourse with her. It is further alleged that his mother compared him to various other sexual partners, including Chris's father.

{{quote|Also made another attempt at rubbing her vagina, externally at first, then slipping in between the lips and rubbing the inner labia. Then she told me to stop. She's getting more used to being played with down there by hand.|Text message from Chris.<ref name=deviant></ref>}}
{{quote|And obviously those out of the eight guys, counting [[Bob|Robertchu]], before me were not hitting her G-Spot as much with their cocks. I had attempted the first night to rub her in there; i found her spot, but it hurt her. But, alternatively, I did find that at cunnilingus, I was good at it with my tongue|Chris comparing his sexual activities with his father's sexual activities.<ref name=deviant></ref>}}
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."]]

The leaked audio likewise contained graphic descriptions of sexual activity, which Chris alludes to as the veracity of "incest fanfics". The authenticity of the recording was confirmed by Chris to [[Dillin Thomas]].<ref name="admission">[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Chris confesses to Dillin Thomas]]</ref>

Prior to the allegations being revealed to the public, Chris informed [[Bella]], [[Null]], and [[The WCT]] about the fact that he found a [[boyfriend-free girl]], although he wanted her identity to remain secret. He offered multiple hints about the identity of his new [[sweetheart]], but told Null that he wanted him to figure out who it was. Null was initially skeptical of the incest claims, since the [[Idea Guys]] previously coerced him into recording a (then untrue) statement that he had raped Barb, and believed that this could be another instance of similar manipulation. Null hypothesized that Chris was attempting to protect the identity of his new girlfriend by making up an elaborate lie, but eventually came to realize that Chris had been having frequent sex with Barb upon reviewing Chris's hints.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220722125709/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/everything-chris-told-me-about-his-girlfriend.96659/</ref>

After this information eventually came to light, Chris indicated that it was "drama" and that he only intended to share the information to [[Messiah complex|test his followers]], who he trusted not to share the information with the public at large despite incest being illegal. Chris later compared Null to {{w|Judas Iscariot}} for "betraying" him by trusting him with such [[Honest Content]]. [[Chris and remorse|Chris being Chris]], he seems to be more upset over the fact that [[Honest Content|trusting people not to leak evidence of a criminal act]] led to [[Jail Saga|serious, life-changing consequences for him]] than the idea that he may have caused harm to Barb, and as multiple [[jail letters]] show, he does not have guilt over the fact that he did something illegal (not to mention he clearly hasn't learned from ''years'' of experience that [[Honest Content|constantly sharing personal information at the drop of a hat]], be it embarrassing or '''incriminating''' in this case, invariably comes back to bite him in the rear later on).

== Was it consensual? ==

{{Protip| The following information should not be taken as definite proof that Chris raped Barb or not; this is simply a list of evidence that Chris has provided himself, which due to Chris's habit of lying for the pettiest of reasons, can be seen as unreliable by some. Due to the sensitive nature of this topic, please avoid saying for sure if Chris did or did not rape Barb.}}

On the CWCki, there are two main camps that people fall into when discussing this topic:
There are people who believe the affair to be abusive or even flat-out nonconsensual, while there are other people who believe the affair was consensual between the two.

The following list contains many common points of argument for both sides but also a counterargument for each and every one.

The evidence for the affair being nonconsensual are as follows:

* Barb has been speculated to be suffering from dementia or some other form of mental decline; there are too many videos of her displaying symptoms to list, but this could be her intentionally faking it for sympathy donations.
* Chris mentioned during [[Incest Texts]] that Barb told him to stop during his attempts to finger her; however, this would have been Chris's first time fingering a woman ([[Mia Hamm]] didn't allow him to do so during their times together) and Chris mentioned this act hurt Barb at first; meaning Barb could have been stopping him from his attempts due to the pain but otherwise consented to be fingered.
* Chris, during the [[Incest Call]], mentions that Barb seemed partially confused at first; However, Chris did say she "came around," so it's possible he was referring to his advances towards her, and she didn't initially understand/ believe what Chris was asking for.
* Chris mentioned in [[Jail Letter - 22 July 2022 (2)]] that Barb was "Zombie-like" and not even aware of her surroundings even before the affair began; while damning (if true), it's worth mentioning that Chris during the letter is begging Kenneth for assistance in moving Barb out of the house, arguing that Barb simply cannot take care of herself. Chris, being Chris, could simply not know the implications of what he's actually saying, and it's quite possible that Chris is desperately lying since Kenneth disapproved of the idea unless there was no other option for Barb.

The evidence for the affair being consensual are as follows:

* Chris and Barbara's relationship is infamously creepy and way too close for comfort; this is the main source of people believing the affair was consensual and for good reason. Barb would often yell at Chris if he didn't share a bed with her, and Chris has admitted numerous times that he spoons with her (after Bob's death). They were also often seen talking to each other and even holding each other as if they were husband and wife for a long time before the affair began. Barb is infamous for being horribly manipulative for her own personal gain, and she does not see any problem with coddling and emotionally blackmailing Chris in order to go along with what she wants to do (usually money or food-related stuff); with this in mind, while their relationship is definitely unhealthy for a mother and son to have, it does not prove that Barb was interested in an incestuous affair with Chris.
* Chris claimed to Null during his temporary homelessness in [[Null DMs| a direct message]] that the affair was definitely consensual; [[Honest Content|however even somebody like Chris]] would probably hesitate to admit raping their own mother, especially to his main benefactor at the time.
* Chris boasted during the [[Incest Call]] that Barb was "having a good time" and even claimed that he let her make the first move; even if this is true, it does not rule out that Chris hadn't coerced or otherwise manipulated her into having sex with him since he did mention in the same call that she was "partially confused at first." Chris's idea of approaching a love interest with "care and caution" '''does not''' translate to consent or even consideration for somebody else's feelings; his idea of nervous behavior around [[Kacey]], for example, included touching her multiple times without her consent and his interactions with [[Megan]] which he describes as "friendly" also included a lot of unwanted attempts to hug and kiss her.
* In [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022]], Chris claimed that after he lost his virginity to Mia Hamm and told his mom about it, Barb stated that she would have had sex with him herself; while this does sound like Barb offering herself to Chris there is a massive possibility that Barb was simply saying he could [[Attraction Sign|pull women without paying them]] (for example when [[Pmurt]] stated that he would date his daughter if he was somebody else not related to her), while definitely creepy it does not mean she actually wanted sex with him and even if she did, the quote came from a decade beforehand so this would not count as consent.

In the end, we will perhaps never honestly know; Barb is not willing to comment or give any further details (and thankfully, nobody has pressed her on such), and Chris is currently in denial that the affair ever took place. If Chris is formally charged and sentenced with felony incest (or perhaps rape), it could be a case of Chris simply piling on tons of poorly worded evidence against himself [[Honest Content|(as he's done throughout most of his life)]]; if Chris is found innocent or just given the sentence for misdemeanor incest, it could be seen as yet another example of the criminal justice system [[Honor Roll|going easy]] on [[Autism|somebody with special needs]], and Chris gets away with yet another crime [[Law |(something that he has also done throughout most of his life)]] as a result.

Ironically, despite this being one of the most critical moments in Chris's life, [[Geno Samuel|a life that has been documented extensively down to the finest detail]], we continue to and will likely never know the essential details of it.

==Chris's Comments on the Affair post-incarceration==

During his recent incarceration Chris has communicated numerous times with members of the public via letters and telephone calls. Some of those letters (and one recorded phone call which has been publicly shared by an anonymous caller) contain commentary by Chris regarding the charges for which he is currently in jail. The first publicly available letter in which Chris touches on the subject of the alleged incest was written on [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|19 September 2021]]. In it, he appears to strongly imply that he indeed had sex with Barbara. Chris's comments on the affair are tied with his elaboration of his previously expressed delusions of Godhood. He reveals to have realized himself to be the present day reincarnation of Jesus Christ. The supreme Goddess Emanuelle had ordered him to to purify Barbara of her sins and improve her abilities as well. In his description of how this was done, Chris writes that he and his mother "mainly Cuddled, Soul-Bonded, and Talked." No sexual acts are explicitly mentioned, but the rest of the letter strongly implies that they were included in Chris's "healing" of Barbara. Chris goes on to write that the healing he performed on his mother was similarly done by him on other individuals during his previous life as Jesus Christ, though the details of said healings were omitted from the the Bible. Chris then goes on to inform the letter's recipient that "We Gods had eased up on the views of "Adultry [sic]"; WHY Else do you all have Pro-Gay, and Pro-Lesbian, Pro-Trans, and all Today and the past Decades?" While the word "adultery" is typically used to refer to marital infidelity, it appears that in this letter it should be read as "acts that go against traditional sexual morality". By grouping the "healing" of Barbara in the same category as intimate relations between members of the same sex, Chris strongly implies that the "healing" of Barbara likewise included romantic and sexual acts. Chris's defense of the "healing" on the counts that all those who were involved in it were both willing and above the legal age of consent further enhances the impression that it was at least partially sexual in nature.

While he 19 September letter was just a few baby steps away from being an explicit admission of incest, it did not take long for Chris to become more coy as to whether or not incest between him and Barb had occurred. In a [[Jail Call - 1 November 2021|1 November 2021 telephone call]] Chris failed to either explicitly deny or acknowledge that he and Barb had sex. The same ambiguousness regarding the truthfulness of the charges against him can be seen in a letter written on [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|16 November 2021]].

At some point Chris changed his tune and began to outright deny that there was any sexual intimacy between him and his mother. As far as public evidence goes, Chris first explicitly denied the charges against him in the [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|11 May 2022 jail letter]]. In the same letter Chris alleges that in [[May 2012]] Barbara made sexual advances towards him after he revealed to her that he had paid a prostitute a month beforehand. He goes on to write that after the death of Bob Barb came to see Chris as a husband-like figure. Further denials that Chris ever had sexual relations with Barb appear in jail letters written on [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022|1 June]] and [[Jail Letter - 4 June 2022|4 June 2022]]. Chris does acknowledge that prior to his arrest he told others that he had sex with Barb, but by now he claims that those admissions were false. As he wrote in the 4 June 2022 letter: "I have never had sex with Barbara; that was purely Big Talk to Divinely Test everyone." Already in the letters from 19 September 2021 and 16 November 2021 Chris claimed that his pre-arrest admissions were made in order to test certain individuals, but only recently Chris began to claim that these admissions were false.

==Consequences==
{{Main|Jail Saga}}
It is a [[Chris and the law|criminal offense]] in Virginia to engage in incest – sexual activities between a parent and a child are a class 5 felony, punishable on indictment by up to 10 years incarceration. Chris was swiftly removed from his home by an Emergency Protective Order, then arrested the next day. In the wake of his charges, Chris was [[ban]]ned from [[Patreon]] and [[Tapas]]. Collaborators who had once worked with him withdrew, such as the band who released [[Love is Love (song)|Love is Love]] pulling it from sale.

Since then, he was held without bail in Central Virginia Regional Jail before getting transferred to [[Western State Hospital]], awaiting trial.<ref>[https://www.facebook.com/269663503100241/photos/a.398555170211073/4389133984486485/?type=3 Press release]</ref> On 3 [[May 2022]], Chris was transferred back to CVRJ.

If Barb consented, she could be charged as a willing participant. If Barb did ''not'' consent, as some have speculated that she may be incapable of that, Chris's potential sentence could be significantly longer given the severity of a rape charge.

===Chris and Barbara's relationship===
{{Needs Updating|Citations}}
Chris and Barbara's relationship deteriorated during Chris's stay in jail. In a jail letter, Chris mentioned that Barb had ceased communicating with him.{{cite}}. During summer 2022, Chris began to speak ill of Barb in his letters, insulting and making spurious claims about her.{{cite}} While still in jail, Chris began planning for his housing post-release. In light of a restraining order being placed on Chris preventing him from contact with Barb{{cite}}, Chris believed he deserved to live in [[14 Branchland Court]] over Barb, and requested his [[enablers]] assist him with a [[Kickstarter]] fundraiser to bribe Barb into moving into senior housing, claiming that [[Caden]] was helping with this scheme, and that it was his initial idea.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref>

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
|name = Poor Sonichu...
|ytid = WIZfv3scrx4
|stardate = 13 Feb 2022
|maker = Emperor Techno
|info = Warning: kinda spooky
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
|name = Chris-Chan and his mom every 3rd night since June 27
|ytid = mjARTrVL_0w
|stardate = 10 Aug 2021
|maker = American Goblin
}}

==See also==
{{FanArt}}
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and the law]]
*[[Jail Saga]]
*[[Soul Bonding]]
*[[The Binding of Isaac‎]]
*[[Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability]]

{{Notes}}
{{References}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}

[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]

Jail Communications

2022-11-05T21:52:47Z

FireLiz: /* July 2022 */

{{Protip|We highly advise ''against'' contacting Chris during his stay in jail. Chris is keeping records of the people who contacted him,<ref>[[Jail Call - 1 November 2021#Full Call]]</ref> and if those somehow get leaked, then you'll have nobody but yourself to blame for potential harassment from [[Weening|weens]] and the secondhand embarrassment of being associated with him.}}

[[File:ChrisWritesJailLetters.png|thumb|250px|Chris writing letters]]
On 1 August 2021, [[Jail Saga|Chris was arrested]] on a charge of [[Affair with Mother|incest]] against [[Barbara Chandler|his mother Barbara]], marking the first fully offline saga of Christory since [[Manchester High School|his high school years]]. Almost all knowledge of what Chris and Barbara have been up to since his arrest has come from '''communications from jail''' – letters and phone calls – while he awaits his hearings.

Chris's jail communications were suspended for a few months. Following his transfer from [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] to [[Western State Hospital]] in [[February 2022]], all mail sent to Chris at the jail was returned to the sender unread; Chris returned to the jail in [[May 2022]] and resumed mail communications.

==List of Letters==

{{Misinfo|These letters cannot be used in court as evidence for any alleged "crimes" Chris has committed, as it is all purely Chris's word.}}

[[File:Cwcjailletterspainting.jpg|thumb|450px|Christian writing his Epistles]]

Chris began sending handwritten '''letters from jail''' shortly after his arrest on 1 August 2021, although weens did not begin writing him ''en masse'' until the uploading of his "Jesus letter" to [[Kiwi Farms]] in late September. The envelopes arrive with a stamped disclaimer that the facility neither "censor[s] nor inspect[s]" Chris's letters – which has allowed him to release even more [[Honest Content]].

===August 2021===

====[[Misc Jail Letters#20 August 2021|20 August]]====
Chris begged for money to his inmate account to purchase socks, a bra, and sneakers.

===September 2021===

====[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|19 September]]====
Chris wrote an open letter being defensive over his alleged theft of Barbara's money and for his incest charge. He also demonstrates a new [[coping]] mechanism - that he is Jesus Christ.

===October 2021===

====[[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|3 October]]====
Chris responds to a failed attempt to convert him to Islam.

====[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|4 October]]====
Chris responds to a letter from [[Kenneth Engelhardt]].

====[[Jail Letter - 20 October 2021|20 October]]====
Chris answers six questions from a fan.

====[[Jail Letter - 21 October 2021|21 October]]====
Chris responds to a [[4chan]] user named "[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Shake Zula]]" about a plush he had been sent.

====[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)|25 October (1)]]====
Chris responds to a fan from Virginia, where he gives insight on how the officials at his jail treat him.

====[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Kengle)|25 October (2)]]====
Chris's second letter to [[Kenneth Engelhardt]]. Topics include Ken trying to mail Chris a copy of the Quran, Ken trying to arrange a pardon for Chris, Chris being unsure of wanting to kiss [[Null]] or Judas, and Chris commenting on prison ramen.

====[[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021|30 October]]====
Chris's third letter to [[Kenneth Engelhardt]]. Chris instructs his fans to visit and donate to [[Barbara]].

===November 2021===

====[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|8 November (1)]]====
Chris responds to Youtuber Stories from The Penitentiary, giving a much clearer image on his mental state and his experiences in jail.

====[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|8 November (2)]]====
Chris mentions that some officers have been "aloof; indifferent, or incompetent" to him; that he has been playing solo basketball in the exercise yard; and that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] is still mayor of [[CWCville]].

====[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|16 November]]====
Chris's fourth letter to [[Kenneth Engelhardt]], on his experience in jail.

====[[Jail Letter - 20 November 2021|20 November]]====

Chris outright states that as a result of the Dimensional Merge, the world we live in now exists in the same universe as that as the one the Sonichu comics take place in.

====[[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021|27 November]]====

Chris sends a fifth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt discussing a car accident which totalled [[Son-Chu]] and seriously injured Barb.

====[[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Celestia)|30 November (1)]]====

Chris writes to an [[Onion Farms]] user, Celestia, about the concept of "self-religion" as well as how he plans to "upgrade" Christianity to his own whims.

====[[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|30 November (2)]]====

Chris answers 12 questions from a Twitter Fan, "Eels and the Egg-man". The subjects discussed include Chris's current relations with [[Bella]] and [[The Suitress]], his opinions on various Christubers, his plans after being released from jail, various dimensions, among other topics.

===December 2021===

====[[Jail Letter - 6 December 2021|6 December]]====
Chris sends a sixth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. He further declares Null an incarnation of Judas, calling him a traitor and decides to "leak" various secrets about him.

====[[Jail Letter - 9 December 2021|9 December]]====
Chris sends a second letter to Celestia, consisting of little more than lore pertaining to his Messiah complex and the Dimensional Merge.

====[[Jail Letter - 10 December 2021|10 December]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 13 December 2021|13 December]]====
Chris sends a seventh letter containing a [[Christmas]] card to Kenneth Engelhardt.

====[[Jail Letter - 14 December 2021|14 December]]====
Chris sends an eighth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. He demands $200,000 to be sent to Barb following her involvement in a car crash in late November that totalled the latest iteration of [[Son-Chu]].

====[[Jail Letter - 22 December 2021‎‎|22 December]]====
Contains Chris's updated Ten Commandments.

===January 2022===

====[[Jail Letter - 4 January 2022|4 January]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 8 January 2022|8 January]]====
Chris sends a letter regarding a troll pretending to be a descendant of a Crusader.

====[[Jail Letter - 11 January 2022|11 January]]====
Chris sends a ninth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. Chris makes a big point that Kenneth is only permitted to share a specific page online, feeling betrayed by the [[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021|one letter he didn't even post]]. The allowed page isn't too noteworthy, Chris shares more lore within his version of Neo-christianity, more specifically how his mother is the avatar of Emanuel and his reincarnation after being crucified as Jesus 2022 years ago.

Kengle then decides to share the entire letter anyway a month later.

====[[Jail Letter - 18 January 2022|18 January]]====
Chris sends a tenth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt. He shuts down Kenneth's Sonichen-Sonichu crossover idea with a frank "HELL NO!!!", providing guidelines for future fanfictions ([[Chris and hypocrisy|all of which the original Soinchu comic violates]]). Chris also provides extensive information about the geography of C-197 and states his intentions to return to [[14 Branchland Court]] when released.

====[[Jail Letter - 19 January 2022|19 January]]====
Chris sends an eleventh letter to Kenneth Engelhardt.

====[[Jail Letter - 13 January 2022|Date unknown]]====
Chris sends a twelfth letter to Kenneth Engelhardt expressing his continued faith in the Merge. He includes a copy of his "Lord Goddess Blue Heart's Prayer" written on 13 January. Kenneth shared the prayer but not the main letter.

====[[Jail Letter - 30 January 2022|30 January]]====
Chris sends a third letter to Spamton stating that he will be released from jail at his hearing on 3 February. He includes a copy of the "Lord Goddess Blue Heart's Prayer".

====[[Jail Letter - Prayer to Bazaar|30 January (2)]]====
Chris sends a copy of his prayer to Bizarre Bazaar along with a short letter.

===May 2022===

====[[Jail Letter - 9 May 2022|9 May]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|11 May]]====

Chris sends the first letter since his transfer back to the [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Chris once again blames Jacob Sockness for the [[COVID-19]] pandemic, and blames the continuation of G5 My Little Pony for the Russian Invasion of Ukraine. Chris also dumps information about his mother's youth, and blames her for his incestous relationship with her.

====[[Jail Letter - 25 May 2022|25 May]]====

Chris sends another letter to Kenneth, which he requests to conceal the contents of yet again.

===June 2022===

====[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022|1 June]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 4 June 2022|4 June]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 13 June 2022|13 June]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 25 June 2022|25 June]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 27 June 2022|27 June]]====

===July 2022===

====[[Jail Letter - 4 July 2022|4 July]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 14 July 2022|14 July]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 21 July 2022|21 July]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 22 July 2022 (1)|22 July (1)]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 22 July 2022 (2)|22 July (2)]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022|29 July 2022]]====

===August 2022===

====[[Jail Letter - 2 August 2022|2 August 2022]]====

====[[Jail Letter - 5 August 2022|5 August 2022]]====

==List of Calls==
Chris is permitted to make '''outbound calls from jail''' for a maximum duration of fifteen minutes using money from his inmate account. As of May 2022, three people had recorded a total of six calls (assuming the medallion promotions were all recorded at the same time) and uploaded them in whole or in part to the internet. Chris has also tried calling Barbara and, at least on some occasions, has been unable to reach her.<ref>[[Jail Call - 11 January 2022]]</ref>

===November 2021===

====[[Jail Call - 1 November 2021|1 November]]====
Chris answers questions from a fan named Cory Allison who had written to him.

===December 2021===

====[[Jail Call - 24 December 2021|24 December]]====
Chris wishes Cory Allison a merry [[Christmas]].

===January 2022===

====[[Jail Call - 10 January 2022|10 January]]====
Chris discusses global warming, remote learning and jail donations with an Onion Farms user called Zombo.

====[[Jail Call - 11 January 2022|11 January]]====
Chris talks with Zombo about Barbara's wellbeing and encourages people to protest his imprisonment.

====[[Jail Call - 13 January 2022|13 January]]====
Chris makes a public address to his internet fans while on a call with Zombo. The rest of the call outside of the address has not been shared.

===Undated===
====[[Jail Medallion Promotions]]====
Chris advertises for [[Praetor]]'s medallions.

==Goddess Log==

The '''Goddess Log''' is a journal Chris has kept in jail. It was mentioned in several of Chris's letters from jail, and through his [[Jail Call - 1 November 2021|phone call to Cory Alisson]], Chris reveals that he records the addresses of all of the people who have sent letters to him. Chris's [[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021|27 November 2021 letter to Kenneth Engelhardt]] mentions that he began keeping the journal on or before 7 [[August 2021]], although it is not known when he began calling it the "Goddess Log".

Chris also makes mention in a [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|November 2021 letter]] of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akashic_records the Akashic records], a compedium of all universal thoughts, events, words, and emotion recorded for all time in the religion of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theosophy theosophy]. Chris claims to have gotten several of the things he has recorded in the logs from the Akashic Guardian, who is the scribe of these records.

==Gifts==
{{Main|Jail Letter Gifts}}

Over the months, Chris has sent various holy items to the senders of the respectful letters he receives from jail from what would otherwise be trash.

==See Also==
*[[Jail Saga]]

{{References}}

{{PrisonSaga}}
{{JailLetter}}

[[Category:Jail Letters]]

Jail Saga

2022-11-05T21:51:31Z

FireLiz:

:''This article primarily covers what is known regarding the Jail Saga stemming from Chris's [[Affair with Mother|affair with his mother]]. For answers to frequently asked questions regarding Chris's sentence in jail, see [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jail-state-hospital-court-faq.113466/ a Kiwi Farms thread here].''
{{Unreliable|type=misinfo}}
{{Ongoing}}

[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris's mugshot for his [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge, Henrico County Sheriff's Office.<ref name=sun/> Note how Chris almost looks ''content'' after being arrested for incest, compared to [[:File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|his despondent mugshot]] [[26 December 2014|taken the same day that he maced a dude]].]]

Following allegations in late [[July 2021|July]] and the eventual confirmation that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] had committed [[Affair with Mother|incest with]] [[Barb]], hundreds of people contacted the Greene County police, and authorities conducted a welfare check on the Chandler home, issuing an Emergency Protective Order on [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] the following day (essentially a temporary week-long restraining order). Chris was made temporarily homeless and stayed at the Richmond Regency Inn in the meantime. Chris was '''arrested on 1 [[August 2021]]''', outside of the Inn. The arrest was captured live on stream by [[Orbiter Wave#Ethan Ralph|several onlookers]]. Surprisingly, despite Chris's past history with [[Chris and the law|the law]], he made no attempt to resist arrest and was cooperative with the police.

Chris is in jail, not prison. Chris will only go to prison if he is convicted of a felony, which was at one point on the table since his case was being presented to a {{w|Grand juries in the United States#Virginia|grand jury}}. Since 2 August 2021, Chris has been an inmate at Central Virginia Regional Jail and is awaiting legal proceedings for the charge of incest. The Greene County Sheriff's office had claimed pending charges yet to be identified were also being considered<ref name="press release"/> but no further charges have emerged as of August 2022. Chris was arraigned on 5 August 2021 and is being held without bond. Hearings in [[November 2021]], [[February 2022]], and [[July 2022]] resulted in continuances.

Since his arrest, Chris's only contact with the outside world has been through [[Jail Communications|written correspondence and phone calls]], which began in August 2021 and continued through February 2022. On 28 February 2022, Chris was transferred from the Central Virginia Regional Jail<ref>[[:File:Transfer.jpg]]</ref> to [[Western State Hospital]], a mental institution, as he was deemed incompetent to stand trial. On 3 [[May 2022]], Chris was transferred back to Central Virginia Regional Jail,<ref>[[:File:May3jailconfirmed.PNG]]</ref> having been restored as competent to stand trial.

In July 2022, the last hearing within the J&DR court's jurisdiction occurred and the case was elevated to the circuit court, where it was sent to a Grand Jury for a potential felony charge.

In August 2022, the Grand Jury hearing was postponed with a continuance. A motion by [[David Heilberg|Chris's lawyer]] for an autism disorder deferred disposition was filed, to be considered by the court. Shortly after, Chris's case was sealed, though bits of information still emerged. By 11 August, the case file was updated to note that "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" were added and that a review of Chris's case is scheduled for [[August 2023]].

==Background==
{{See also|Affair with Mother}}

[[File:EscapeIntoMadness.jpg|thumb|left|300px|''Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage: Minds innocent and quiet take That for an hermitage. If I have freedom in my love, And in my soul am free, Angels alone, that soar above, Enjoy such liberty.'']]
[[File:JailArt7.jpg|300px|thumb|right|''"Happiness can still be a Hug away; even if you're hugging your self."'' A poignant piece of [[jail art]] drawn by Chris in [[May 2022]].]]

It is a [[Chris and the law|criminal offense]] in Virginia to engage in incest - sexual activities between a parent and a child are a class 5 felony, punishable on indictment by up to 10 years incarceration.<ref name=kvia>[https://kvia.com/news/us-world/2021/08/10/transgender-autistic-internet-personality-chris-chan-held-without-bond-in-mens-jail-on-incest-charge-involving-senile-mom/ Transgender, autistic internet personality Chris Chan held without bond in men's jail on incest charge involving senile mom]</ref> Despite rumors, Chris hasn't been charged for rape, and whether or not Chris's affairs were entirely consensual remains unknown.

In the early morning of 28 July 2021, Chris discussed having sex with his mother in a call and text messages with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]]. On the night of 29 July, the [[Suitress]] leaked the files. The next morning, as reports poured in, Greene County Police visited [[14 Branchland Court]] for a [[Welfare check|wellness check]].<ref name=sun/> They issued Chris an Emergency Protective Order, forbidding contact between him and Barbara, and by extension, preventing him from remaining at her residence until 5 August. Meanwhile, Barbara was relocated to a hospital for a senior care inspection.<ref name=removed>{{Cite farms
| thread = 96559
| title = Chris-Chan incest leak / Chris has been removed from 14 Branchland Court
| wayback = 20211006023749
}}</ref>

As a result of the protection order levied against Chris, he was without a home for the time being. Due to [[Financhu Crisis|ongoing financial problems]], Chris could not afford a hotel. [[Null]] advised him to sleep in [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|his van]] for one night, noting that Chris would have have the proceeds of Chris's GoFundMe (originally intended for Chris's trip to [[Everfree Northwest]]) transferred to his bank account the following day. Initial plans to stay with [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]] were disrupted after their invitation was rescinded - likely while he was already on the way to their home.<ref name=letter>[[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021]]</ref>{{refn|
Chris told Null that after spending the night in his car, he would go to a mall as soon as it opened in the morning and loiter there.<ref name=NullTexts/> The two malls he mentioned, [[Leonard Bearstein|Regency Mall]] and Chesterfield Towne Center, are in [[Richmond]].<ref>{{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)}} and {{w|Chesterfield Towne Center}} on Wikipedia</ref> This suggests that [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom]], who live in Richmond's southwest suburbs,<ref>[[Miyamoto emails#Please Give Me $800|Chris leaks the Ashbys' address to Miyamoto-san]]</ref> did not rescind their invitation until he had actually gotten near their home.}}

On 30th of July, Everfree Northwest posted that "appropriate action to protect the vulnerable" will be taken; while not naming Chris, it is suspected that that this tweet refers to the revocation of Chris's invitation to the convention,<ref>[[:File:EverfreeNorthwestBansChris.jpg|Everfree Northwest tweet]]</ref> which Null subsequently confirmed. Due to the disturbing and lurid nature of the allegations, hashtags and topics such as #ChrisChan and #CHRISCHANDIDWHAT trended on Twitter, reaching 4th overall trend on July 30th,<ref>[https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-chris-chan-sonichu-comic-creator-leaves-twitter-scandalized-latest-trend Who is Chris Chan? Sonichu comic creator leaves Twitter scandalized with latest trend]</ref> exposing a large number of otherwise uninvolved individuals to the story of Chris-Chan causing the [[Orbiter Wave]].

On 31 July, Null, who had access to Chris's email (with Chris's permission) since the [[Guard Dogs]] Saga,<ref name="marvinqna">[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-chris-chan-extortionists.45366/post-3553571 Marvin answers questions regarding OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/operation-kingsnake.44345/ OPERATION: Kingsnake]</ref> found that Chris had received $750.00 from Barb's bank account, meaning he had either contacted Barb or gained access to Barb's bank account himself, either of which would violate the emergency protection order. When confronted, Chris initially denied the accusation, claiming he had "managed to find blessings in the minimum abundance needed." However, upon further questioning Chris about the money, he confirmed that he had had access to Barb's account for some time, contrary to Null's previous assumption that Barb had been in control of Chris's finances and not vice versa. Being upset by Chris embezzling from his mother and feeling betrayed that Chris lied to him to try to cover it up, Null finally cut all contact with him, reported the theft to authorities, and canceled the transfer of the GoFundMe money, arranging for it to be refunded to the donors.<ref name=NullTexts>[[Incest fallout chat leaks#Chris takes money from Barb]]</ref>

==Arrest==
{{quote|I am [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], your [[Messiah complex|Goddess]] [[CPU Blue Heart|Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and everybody. I keep in good faith that everything is going to work out.|Chris, while being arrested.<ref name=video>[[#Video|Video of Chris's arrest filmed by Killstream crew]]</ref>}}
[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|left|400px|"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."]]
On the evening of 31 July, Reddit user ''[[Chrisisaman]]'' located [[Son-chu]] at the Regency Inn in [[Richmond]], confirming that Chris was in the city and that he would be spending time in a motel.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210801045236/https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ovlys1/location_confirmed_10_minutes_ago/ Archived Reddit post confirming Chris's location]</ref> The next day, [[Post-Merge Era|a number of people]] attempted to observe or contact Chris there. Observers noticed police cars stationed at the motel, but because the place was known to have a seedy reputation, it was not obvious if they were there for Chris or for some other reason. These cop cars eventually left without arresting Chris.

The most significant of the observers was YouTuber [[Ethan Ralph]] who livestreamed himself and his friends [[Ween|driving to the motel to meet Chris]]. The group [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2|ordered a pizza]] in the hopes of luring him out, but this was unsuccessful - Chris was apparently too busy messaging [[The WCT]].{{refn|The time Ralph was knocking on Chris's door - about 3:01 PM<ref name=snippet/> - is almost exactly the same as the timestamps on Chris's final messages to The WCT - 3:10 PM.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Chris's final messages]]</ref>}} They then went about knocking on every door on the second floor (Chris had previously been filmed walking along the second floor balcony, suggesting that was where he was staying), but this was fruitless as well, and only led to the menagerie being ordered to leave by a [[Jerkop|motel employee]].<ref name=snippet>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-1-21-ethan-ralph-tries-to-drag-chris-chan-to-his-house.96772/post-9596798 Archived stream snippet]</ref>

Not giving up, the group went to the {{w|Regency Mall (Richmond, Virginia)|Regency Mall}} (of [[Christopher's name change#Leonard Bearstein|'the bear']] fame) across the street, following (incorrect) speculation that Chris might be there since he was not in his room. While livestreaming at the mall they had an encounter with a police officer, who would happen to be one of the officers who arrested Chris a few hours later (as Ethan acknowledges during the arrest).

Later that afternoon, Ralph was tipped off that four Henrico County police cars had shown up at the motel. At around 6:00 PM, he got back just in time to film two officers perp-walking Chris down from his room, streaming the whole debacle for a live audience of over 3,000 viewers. While the police talked to Chris, Ralph sporadically yelled questions and comments, to which Chris occasionally responded.

Unlike Chris's previous run-ins with the law, he remained mostly calm and compliant during the arrest (possibly due to [[The WCT]] having [[WCT DMs#Discussing the incest fallout|advised him the previous day]] to cooperate with the police during his arrest), though he rambled about the [[Dimensional Merge]] to both the police and Ralph's crew, promising that the Merge was in fact happening right at that moment. The police then loaded Chris into a squad car and left without answering Ralph's questions.<ref name=video/> An additional POV shot filmed by an anonymous onlooker showed Chris climbing directly into the cop car – the last footage of Chris to date.

===Video===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris-Chan Arrested
| ytid = EqVo6ADqvgA
| style = {{Tragedy|[[Chris and stress|My Baby Blue Arms]]}}, {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|[[Autism|Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down]]}}
| stardate = 1st [[August 2021]]
| saga = {{Incest|text}} {{Prison|text}}
| previous =
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}}

===Transcript===
'''NOTE''': This transcript begins around 2:24:54, shortly after Ralph changes the perspective on his phone camera.

{{collapsible|state=mw-collapsed|Transcript|
''[The song "Save Your Tears" by the Weeknd plays in the background, while we see the inside of Ethan Ralph's car.]''

'''Ralph''': You guys can't see this, but...

'''May''': They're bringing her out! They're bringing her out.

'''Ralph''': Oh, shit! Oh ''shit''--

''[The camera pans to a neighboring car, and a woman coming out with her phone to also film the events'']

'''May''': Oh my god!

'''Ralph''': They're arresting her!

''[Ralph gets out of the car and walks toward the fence. The woman from earlier is now kneeling with her phone pointing at the motel. Ralph walks past her.]''

'''Ralph''': Sorry.

''[Camera zooms in on the motel, focusing on the second floor, where the police officers are walking Chris]''

'''May in background''': Oh my god!

'''Ralph''': Yeah, they're arresting Chris-Chan here at the hotel.

'''Chris''': ''(yelling) To the trolls and anybody else on the internet, do not record this!''

'''Ralph''': ''(yelling)'' CHRIS-CHAN, ''WHAT'S UP?!'' Killstream, baby! When you get out, let's do the Killstream! Look me up!

'''Guy in background''': Let the charges drop! It's all about [[Null|Joshua Conner Moon]]!

'''Ralph''': Tell 'em all about Josh Moon, that's who they want!

''[Bystanders start yelling]''

'''May in background''': Give it up, Chris-Chan!

'''Guy in background''': Give him up... save yourself, girl!

'''Another guy in background''': Magi-Chan will help you!

'''Guy in background''': You're beautiful!

'''Ralph''': Look up Ethan Ralph, Killstream! I live here in Richmond, buddy!

'''Woman in background''': Go to church!

'''Ralph''': No, come to... come to the Killstream first!

''[As the cops walk Chris down the stairs, there is more yelling]''

'''Person below''': ETHAN I BOUGHT YOUR STICKER!

'''Ralph''': YEEEAH! What kind of shit is this? Holy shit! Oh my god, thank you!

''[The cops are now walking Chris past the motel entrance]''

'''Guy in background''': Got a (indistinct) here!

'''May in background''': Christian Weston Chandler, right here being...

''[Camera turns past a nearby building as Ralph runs toward the motel parking lot]''

'''Ralph''': Oh, shit, oh! You better hurry Jesse, you're missing out! Hehe.

''[The camera now zooms in on Chris and three police officers, now standing outside a police car]''

'''Police officer''':...oh no, (indistinct) transport in the front...

''[One of the officers says something to Chris that cannot be heard, presumably asking for his name]''

'''Chris''': ...Chris-Chan, or Sonichu, as they know...

''[Stream freezes for a couple seconds]''

'''Woman in background''':...Chris. (indistinct) Bring 'em...

''[A fourth officer gets out of one of the police cars]''

'''Ralph''': Hey, officers, how's it going?

'''Police officer''': How you doing? I just saw you.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, that's right! That's you, oh my god!

'''Person in background''': Sorry about that, guys.

'''Ralph''': I told you!

'''Chris''': I'm going, I'm complying...

'''May in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?

'''Chris''': I'm complying, I am good like this!

'''Guy in background''': (To Chris) You are, you absolutely are!

'''May in background''': (To Ralph) Is the car unlocked?

'''Ralph''': (To May) Yeah, I think so.

'''Ralph''': (To Chris) Yeah, you appear to be complying.

'''Chris''': I am Chris-Chan Sonichu, your [[CPU Blue Heart|Goddess Blue Heart]], and I continue to stand strong, and I maintain everything with [[CWCVille]] and my [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus and Rosechus]] and everybody.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, you're live to about 3,000 people right now, Christian!

'''Guy in background''': How do you plead?

'''Ralph''': Well don't...you're taking everything in stride, you said you're doing good?

'''Chris''' : Yeah. I keep a good faith everything is going to work out.

'''Ralph''': Doing good, feeling good?

'''Chris''' : Yep.

'''Ralph''': How's the last few days been? I know it's been pretty [[Stress|stressful]].

'''Chris''' : Bit stressful, but... I've taken it one moment at a time and...I've got my...I've got my loves.

'''Ralph''': Well that's good.

'''Guy in background''': Do you, like, Josh Moon, like, did you dirty?

''[An officer begins frisking Chris, and apparently finds something on his waistband]''

'''Chris''': (To officer) Oh, well, that's just the one thing, that's a pin. Feel free, just go ahead and take it out, it's a picture of Muffins from ''[[My Little Pony]]''.

'''Guy in background''': Your [[Love Quest]] is over, Chris!

'''Chris''': (To officer) I promise like...I was not (indistinct) to fall... it fell off my bag, I did not want to lose it. And please, I would like that in my collection. (indistinct)

'''Jesse''': Hey, Ethan!

'''Ralph''': What's up, Jesse?

'''Jesse''': How you doing?

'''Ralph''': Boy we almost missed it, huh?

''[Ralph and Jesse laugh]''

'''Jesse''': I was wandering around the mall.

''[The officer starts searching Chris's left side]''

'''Chris''': Well, heh. He's not offering me any options there...

'''Officer''': I'm just letting you know I'm... (indistinct)

'''May in background''': I literally ran out to get that (chuckles). This is nuts.

''[Someone makes a noise in the background]''

'''Jesse''': Christine, this man does want to help you.

'''Ralph''': Yeah, we were trying to get you on the show, but...look, when you get out, look me up, Killstream. I don't know if you know who I am or not.

'''May in background''': We're here to help you!

''[Indistinct yelling in background]''

'''Ralph''': We saw what Josh was doing to you, so we wanted to come try to talk to you.

''[The cop finishes his search]''

'''Police officer''': (To Chris) Do you have anything else on you?

'''Chris''': I have nothing else on me.

''[The police officer says something to Chris]''

'''Chris''': I understand. I have no weed, I have no drugs on (indistinct)... like I said, frisk me, there you go! (chuckles)

'''Ralph''': (Chuckles)

'''Chris''': [[Homos|That felt good]]!

'''Ralph''': (Laughs loudly)

'''Chris''': Thank you.

'''Police officer''': Alright, let's have a seat.

'''Jesse''': Christine, is the merge coming?

'''Ralph''': Aight...

'''Chris''': It's happening now, we're on the very last thread!

'''Ralph''': (talking over Chris) The Merge, it's happening right now, isn't it?

'''May in background''': It's happening right now, it is.

'''Chris''': We're living it!

''[Chris turns to the officers.]''

'''Chris''': (indistinct) ...Batman into a hero.

''[Chris sits down as one of the officers points into the back of the police car]''

'''May in background''': It's happening right now.

'''Guy in background''': Merge the dimensions, Chris!

'''Ralph''': Farewell, Chris Chan!

'''May in background''': (indistinct) The Dimensional Merge is happening right now, August 1, 2021.

''[Chris disappears into the back of the police car]''

'''Ralph''': Well there goes Chris Chan into the Henrico County... deputy's car here.

'''Guy in background''': Don't let the boulder(?) hit you!

'''Ralph''': I don't think they've had an... arrest like this.

'''May in background''': No, don't think so.

'''Ralph''': We just got here, too.

'''Guy in background''': This is like the first time nobody's filming the police.

'''May in background''': I know.

''[Everyone laughs]''

'''Someone else in background''': ...beginning of an era.

'''Another person in background''': ...did you bring the wallet?

'''Guy in background''': Which one of you wanted to ask questions?

'''Jesse''': Oh I had a chance, but...

'''Ralph''': Okay...

'''Guy in background''': (To officers) Yeah, please do take like good care of her, she is like a good person.

'''Police officer''': I will. I treat everybody the same, man. Alright, y'all have a good day.

'''Ralph''': Thank you, officers.

'''Guy in background''': Thank you.

'''Ralph''': I appreciate y'all taking enough time for me to get here, too.

''[Camera turns away from the police cars]''

'''Ralph''': Woww! (breathing heavily) Was that... (camera turns to show Ralph's face) ...was that a scoop or what, ladies and gentlemen? What the, what in the world? Oh as always, falling into my lap here!

'''Guy in background''': (indistinct) ...tell me I didn't make it happen, I told you it was gonna happen.

'''May in background''': Dude... (indistinct)

'''Ralph''': He did, he told me. I wasn't going to come out to all this, but...

'''May in background''': I can't believe he stayed over here!

'''Ralph''': ...we just got the footage, Jesse PS was riding up over here!

''[End of relevant footage.]''
}}

==Initial jail stay==
[[File:Chris Chan Calls Sonichu In Jail.jpg|thumb|left|250px|{{w|Spec Ops: The Line|"None of this would've happened if you just ''stopped''."}}]]
[[File:Henrico County Jail West.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Henrico County Jail West]]
[[File:Central Virginia Regional Jail.JPG|thumb|300px|Aerial view of Central Virginia Regional Jail]]
At 8:23 PM later that day, Chris was booked into Henrico County Jail West and held without bail.<ref name=charged/><ref name=sun>{{Cite web
| url = https://www.the-sun.com/news/3394847/chris-chan-sonichu-arrested-incest/
| autoarchive = 20210804202308
| title = Chris Chan arrested for ‘incest’ after claims Sonichu comic book creator sexually assaulted family member
| website = The Sun
}}</ref> On 2 August 2021, the Charlottesville CBS affiliate, CBS 19, reported on the case, following the release of a press release from the Greene County Sheriff's Department indicating that Chris had been moved to [[Chris's homes#Central Virginia Regional Jail|Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which serves several rural counties including Greene County.<ref name="press release">Press release on [https://www.cbs19news.com/story/44432363/suspect-arrested-in-sex-crimes-against-family-member-case CBS], [https://www.facebook.com/269663503100241/photos/a.398555170211073/4389133984486485/?type=3 Facebook]</ref>

Calls to the Sheriff's Office confirmed that Chris was being held on a charge of incest. Notably, the charge against Chris is listed on the Henrico Sheriff's Office website as "incest with own child or grandchild",<ref name=charged>[[:File:Charged.png]]</ref> presumably because "incest with own parent" charges are too uncommon to warrant an option for them in the software.<ref>{{Cite farms
|thread = 96776
|post = 9613612
|title = Chris - The Legal Issues - A Prosecutor's Perspective
|user = TherapyMan
|wayback = 20210804182815
}}</ref>

The record for Chris's custody status initially labelled him as female<ref>[[:File:Chris custody status female gender.png]]</ref> due to him having legally changed the gender marker on his driver's license in 2016.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> It was claimed by sensationalist media that Chris would be housed in a female jail,<ref>https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9859653/Trans-YouTuber-Chris-Chan-39-filed-female-police-housed-women-inmates.html</ref><ref name=tucker>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9PW_XVGWHw Tucker Carlson discusses Chris-Chan]</ref> though this was not confirmed by official sources. The custody status record was updated to list Chris as male without explanation and he was placed in a corresponding facility.<ref name=InsiderGender>[https://www.insider.com/chris-chan-arrest-jail-transgender-trans-woman-men-male-incest-2021-8 After her arrest on an incest charge, Chris Chan is being categorized as male in jail despite being a trans woman]</ref> It is noted that transgender inmates in Virginia are usually only placed in the prison of their identified gender if they have received sex-change surgery,<ref>[https://richmond.com/news/virginia/transgender-prison-inmates-5-to-6-times-more-likely-to-be-victims-of-sexual-assault/article_79c231fd-4d27-5a38-bc48-500301794348.html Transgender prison inmates 5 to 6 times more likely to be victims of sexual assault in U.S., study says]</ref> which Chris has not. On 7 August 2021, conservative media host {{w|Tucker Carlson}} briefly talked about the discourse in a {{w|Fox News}} segment, exposing millions of retired, right-wing boomers to Chris for the first time.<ref name=tucker></ref>

Many observers predicted Chris would not take to an extended jail stay well. However, on August 5, the jail's Captain Hoffman told news, "I've had an interaction with inmate Chandler and it's been fine. Everything is okay."<ref name=InsiderGender/> This surprising revelation could be explained by a [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Stories from the Penitentiary)|letter]] Chris sent from jail in early November, which strongly implies that he has been placed in some form of protective custody to ensure his safety. A [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|previous letter]] he sent in early October confirms that he is being fed well and that he has been able to purchase minor luxuries from the jail's commissary including playing cards, earplugs and a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]].

==Legal proceedings and communications==
The case is being handled by the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court.<ref name=ContinuanceDate>{{Cite farms|thread=105669|title=11/18/2021 - Court case continued into the new year}}</ref> Due to the sensitive nature of the court's cases, it is unknown what details will be publicly available.

=== First court appearance ===
[[File:HeilbergPortraitNew.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Chris's lawyer, David Heilberg.]]
On 4 August 2021, Kenneth Sneathern, a judge from Greene County's General District Court, assigned [[David Heilberg]] to represent Chris, and also transferred the case to Greene's J&DR (Juvenile and Domestic Relations) court for bond.

During the hearing, Chris requested feminine pronouns be used for himself due to being [[transgender]].<ref name=initial_trial/>

=== Second court appearance ===
On 5 August 2021, Chris appeared before Greene County's J&DR court for the beginning of his arraignment, represented by Charlottesville public defender David Heilberg.<ref name=initial_trial/>

Edwin Consolvo, the attorney representing [[Greene County]], asked presiding judge David M. Barredo to deny Chris bond out of concern for "the community's safety and Ms. Chandler's safety," pointing out that "it’s clear that people sought out where Chandler was staying at a hotel in Henrico and videotaped her arrest." Chris interrupted by loudly saying, "[[Chris and his ego|I'm famous on the internet]]," to which Heilberg advised him not to speak unless spoken to by the court.

Chris was sworn in to state his case for bond, but instead demanded to be allowed to pick up personal possessions first, saying he would be "willing to proceed with everything if I can get that done."

Judge Barredo pointed out that bond considerations involve whether a defendant is a flight risk and whether the defendant is a danger to himself, his family, or community. Chris interrupted to say, "she", in reference to his [[transgender]] identity; Barredo responded he was reciting from the state statute.

Barredo ordered Chris to be held without bond until the preliminary trial on 16 September, listing as reasons the nature of the allegations against Chris and that there appears to be a personal danger to Chris and the public at large. While Heilberg was informing the judge that he sought "[[Autism papers|evaluations]]" of Chris, Chris ''interrupted his own attorney'' by loudly stomping on the floor and demanding "to get everything back home," claiming "I won't feel safe proceeding" until he could get the items back.<ref name=initial_trial>[https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html Internet personality "Chris-Chan" in court on incest charge] [https://web.archive.org/web/20210805180746/https://dailyprogress.com/community/greenenews/news/internet-personality-chris-chan-in-court-on-incest-charge/article_eaa0710c-f492-11eb-bba8-7f35686d288a.html (archive)]</ref>

Judging by Chris's behavior, it can be inferred that Chris either did not fully understand or [[Chris and remorse|care about]] the seriousness of his charges and the possible [[Chris and negotiation|consequences]], or that he still expected to be saved by the [[Dimensional Merge]].

On 9 August 2021, Newsweek posted an article on the case, quoting Heilberg, who said that his client was "legally disabled with mental health issues," and called Chris's online antics "a product of mental health issues causing misguided attention seeking and often provocative engagement with others."<ref name=MentalHealth>{{Cite web
| url = https://www.newsweek.com/chris-chans-lawyer-says-mental-health-issues-contributed-incest-charge-1617388
| title = Chris Chan's Lawyer Says 'Mental Health Issues' Contributed to Incest Charge
| last = Beresford
| first = Jack
| website = Newsweek
}}</ref>

=== Continuance and first letter from jail ===
{{Main|Jail Letter - 19 September 2021}}
[[File:Nullletter1.jpg|thumb|200px|The first page of Chris's letter.]]
Chris's next court appearance was to begin 16 [[September 2021]],<ref name=initial_trial/> but got a continuance before the hearing was even set to commence{{refn|The hearing was scheduled for 10:00 AM;<ref name=initial_trial/> news of the continuance broke at 8:31 AM.<ref name=time>{{Cite farms
| thread = 9-16-2021-court-case-gets-a-continuance.100315
| post = 9988888
| title = 9-16-21: Court Case Gets a Continuance
| autoarchive = 20211022184458
}}</ref>}} due to the defense requesting more time to evaluate Chris's [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]], giving him a brief respite.<ref name=ContinuanceReason>https://twitter.com/terrybeigie/status/1438504504396161029 (archive: https://archive.ph/THcDL)</ref>

Three days later, Chris penned a bizarre letter directed to [[Null]] and defense lawyer David Heilberg, in which he ranted at [[Null]] for turning his back on Chris, and claimed to be [[Jesus Christ]] reincarnated, among other equally batshit statements.<ref name=letter/>

=== More communications from jail ===
{{See also|Jail Communications}}
In [[:Category:Jail Letters|additional correspondences from jail]], Chris provides brief updates on his current experiences and conditions in jail. He would also continue to double down on [[Chris and reality|his delusions]], threaten any weens to not steal things from his house, beg for money for both himself and Barbara, and demand his release from jail. In [[Jail Letter - 3 October 2021|one of these letters]] Chris rejects a fan's attempt to convert him to Islam. As with his previous replies, he draws offensive comparisons between himself and Allah, and rants more about the [[Dimensional Merge]].

Chris has also called several people while in jail using the inmate telephone service, although, what Chris says in these calls is not much different from what can be found inside the letters. However, [[Jail Call - 11 January 2022|in one of the calls]], Chris states that he has attempted to call Barbara multiple times, only to receive no answer from her.

=== Third court appearance ===

Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18 [[November 2021|November]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Several fans attempted to attend this hearing, but were turned away by courthouse staff,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/qwr53j/tried_going_to_the_hearing_but_was_turned_away_by/</ref> as the hearing was closed at the request of Chris's lawyer.<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref>

Another continuance was granted, with the next hearing taking place after the new year, on 3 [[February 2022]].<ref name=ContinuanceDate></ref> Chris spent the Thanksgiving, [[Christmas]], and New Years holidays behind bars.

The 3 February hearing was also closed to the public and resulted in another continuance. As a result, Chris spent his 40th [[Christian Love Day|birthday]] incarcerated and missed out on [[BABSCon]] in April. The 28 [[July 2022]] court hearing took place without a continuance, four days short of the one-year anniversary of his arrest,<ref>{{cite farms|thread=112013|post=11138163}}(Kiwi farms has been 503'd and so there are no archives of this link)</ref> which resulted in the case being presented to a Grand Jury.

=== Transfer ===
[[File:Transfer.jpg|thumb|200px|Email from VINE confirming the transfer.]]

On 28 February 2022, the Virginia VINE Service confirmed that Chris had been transferred to another location from Central Virginia Regional Jail.<ref>[https://vinelink.vineapps.com/person-detail/offender/17312020;tabIndexToSelect=0 VINELink page]</ref>

Details regarding the circumstances that led to this are not known, but Chris eventually confirmed he had been sent to [[Western State Hospital]].<ref name=1jun>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref><ref group = "note">VINELink could not track Chris in the period of his transfer, so wherever he was placed is not a jail. The courts are required by law to say if Chris was transferred to a prison. The transfer status would be "Released" if Chris was sent back to his house. When called, CVRJ says the information is "Privileged" which usually means medical.</ref> This was due to a competency evaluation following his third hearing, so he could be "educated" on court proceedings for his July hearing.
[[File:Inmate No Longer Here.jpg|thumb|left|A letter to Chris's jail being rejected due to him being transferred.]]
Someone claiming to work for an EMS later private messaged the CWCki Jerkop [[User:Larry the Larryhog|Larry the Larryhog]] about Chris's record.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-31#post-11335917 Kiwi Farms post regarding Chris's record]([https://archive.ph/5yQZh archive])</ref> They claimed that Chris was transferred via ambulance with a law enforcement escort and that Chris was able to receive narcotic sedative when needed (though the claims are yet to be verified). A Kiwi Farms member claimed that Chris may have been brought to Western State Hospital,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/feb-28-2022-chris-transferred-to-another-facility.113715/page-15#post-11307353 Kiwi Farms post claiming that Chris was transferred to the Western State Hospital]([https://archive.ph/SWHBS archive])</ref> which specializes in mental disorders, and this was eventually confirmed by [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]], in which Chris revealed details indicating Western State Hospital.

=== Second Transfer ===
[[File:May3jailconfirmed.PNG|thumb|200px]]
[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's third mugshot. The shit eating grin on his face has faded away, and all it took was a simple game of [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022|Pin The Autistic a day before his return]].]]
Chris was transferred back to the Central Virginia Regional Jail on 3 [[May 2022]]. A mugshot that was taken after the transfer, the first photo of him since [[August 2021]], shows Chris noticeably thinner, with longer hair, more sunken-in eyes, and looking much more gaunt and less enthusiastic than he did previously. This was apparently due to a [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pin-me-down]] event occurring the day before while at [[Western State Hospital]].<ref name=1jun></ref>

=== Fourth court appearance and Grand Jury ===
Chris's fourth court appearance was scheduled for 10:00AM EDT on 28 [[July 2022]]<ref>https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1002207497098105012/1002207619286577203/2022-07-28_06-31-26.mov</ref> as revealed by a call from an anonymous Discord user to the Greene County Juvenile and Domestic Relations court. It has to be noted that the courthouse gave this information freely and without asking any further questions about the inquiry.

As a result of the hearing, Chris's case was transferred out of the J&DR court and to the Circuit Court. It was sent to a <abbr title="A jury of peers, larger than a regular jury, who determine if the state currently has enough evidence to charge with a felony. The grand jury does not determine someone's innocence or guilt.">grand jury</abbr> for a potential felony incest charge.

Fans such as [[Kiwi Farms]] users and [[Kenneth Engelhardt]] called the court clerk who informed them of the grand jury move. It was confirmed by court records.

{{quote|I just called the Clerk of Court for Greene County regarding CWC. Yes it is verified this is going before a grand jury on felony charges.|Kenneth<ref>https://twitter.com/OnionfarmsMedia/status/1552724115345268736</ref>}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Proof Call
| ytid = 2uQkwRB8njA
| style =
| stardate = 28 July 2022
| saga = {{Prison|text}}
| previous =
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}}

=== Deferred disposition and sealing of case ===

{{Misinfo|Chris is NOT being released from jail as a result of his autism. The grand jury hearing was merely postposed due to Chris's lawyer filing a [https://www.justice.gov/usao/justice-101/pretrial-motions motion] for an autism disorder deference three days prior to the intended meeting date. His case will also not be dismissed. Rather, his sentence has been [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deferred_sentence deferred], will be placed under probation terms, and some of his records, primarily information regarding his pre-trial, will be required to be concealed, as only specific higher-ups will be able to access them.}}

On 5 [[August 2022]], [[David Heilberg]] filed a motion for an autism disorder deferred disposition.<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png]]</ref> The grand jury hearing, which was scheduled to occur on 8 August, was instead continued. A motion hearing is due to take place on 9 August.<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022.png]]</ref> A caller had asked the court about Chris's records, to which they revealed them being <abbr title="Some of Chris's records will be required to be concealed from the public, but will still be available to select higher-ups for specific purposes.">sealed</abbr> due to overwhelming public interest of the case. David Heilberg had also confirmed this in a response to an email, explaining that the case was sealed so that potential jurors in Greene County would not be unduly prejudiced in the event of Chris's case going to trial:<ref>[[:File:HeilbergStatement.png]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|RE: Reporting on Christine Chandler

Mr. Brown:

The reason that the case was sealed was because there was so much intense legitimate and illegitimate external interest about Ms. Chandler. Greene County is a small rural place. In a unique situation like this, there is case authority (attached) to keep all pre-trial materials sealed so that it will later be possible to select a local jury for a fair trial if and when this is needed. The application of the Depasquale remedy to prevent prejudicial pre-trial publicity is probably the only story that you can tell. This relief is rarely sought and allowed. However, the unique intense interest in this case, including inaccurate online disinformation, required this infrequently used remedy. In our current age of unregulated online disinformation about almost anything and everyone, this remedy might be needed now more than ever.

Dave

David L. Heilberg, PLC 
Attorney at Law}}

"Depasquale" refers to the 1978 [[wikipedia:United States Supreme Court|Supreme Court]] case ''Gannett Company, Inc. v. DePasquale'', which held that prohibiting the public from attending pre-trial proceedings in criminal cases is a legitimate method to minimize prejudicial publicity.<ref>https://www.oyez.org/cases/1978/77-1301</ref>

An autism deferred disposition refers to a Virginia law passed in 2020 which could result in a deference of further court proceedings with the defendant placed on probation terms set by the court, and could also result in the charge being dismissed, if the defendent completes certain criteria set by a judge before a review of their case.<ref>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/19.2-303.6/</ref>

=== Looking forward ===
{{Dated|artsect=section}}
Exactly what is next for Chris will be heavily influenced by the outcome of the legal processes involved. Son-mother incest is a Class 5 felony in Virginia.<ref>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter8/section18.2-366/</ref> Class 5 is a wobbler felony which can either remain as a felony or be downgraded to a misdemeanor.<ref>https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter1/section18.2-10/</ref><ref>https://www.silislaw.com/blog/2014/april/virginia-criminal-law-basics-felonies/</ref> With his charge imminent to be upgraded to a felony, he could be facing up to 10 years in prison; the maximum sentence for felony incest. If Barb is found to have been physically incapacitated, Chris will be placed on the [[List of places that have banned Chris#Looking ahead|sex offender registry]] for a minimum of fifteen years when (or if) he gets out,<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210318155920/http://sex-offender.vsp.virginia.gov/sor/statutes.html</ref> [[Kick the Autistic|effectively banning him]] from any place attended by minors or any 'vulnerable' individuals, including all the [[conventions]] and [[GameStop|video game]]/[[Toys r us|toy stores]] he loves going to so much. In addition, if Chris is charged with a felony, his subsequent legal proceedings must be open to the public, although they cannot be televised or streamed online.{{cite}}

Further complicating matters is that as early as [[Jail Letter - 11 May 2022|11 May 2022]], Chris began denying he had ever engaged in any sexual affairs with Barb (despite previously stating he had in the [[Incest Call]] and [[Incest Texts]]), even claiming that Bella confessed to fabricating information during the call without any clarification whatsoever.<ref name=1jun></ref> Needless to say, if Chris were to give false statements in a court of law intentionally, it would be digging a deeper hole for him, given existing evidence.

==Charge==
On 29 [[July 2022]], Greene County Circuit Court posted information relating to Chris's case. Chris's case number is CR22000141-00 and the offense is 18.2-366 (written in the software as "Incest w/own child"), a Class 5 felony. The information also provides official confirmation that Chris had been sent to [[Western State Hospital]] earlier in the year. Chris was also evaluated by "ILPPP", the [[University of Virginia]]'s Institute of Law, Psychiatry and Public Policy. It also notes that David Heilberg had sent a letter to Chris before the last hearing. Note that the dates aren't accurately reflected, as the records weren't public until July 29. Future pleadings and orders regarding Chris will presumably be dated accurately and have all boxes filled in.

===Pleadings/Orders Detail===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Filed
! Type
! Party
! Judge
! Book
! Page
! Remarks
|-
|07/29/2022
|Warrants
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|07/29/2022
|Complaint
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|07/29/2022
|Other
|
|
|
|
| CHECKLIST FOR BAIL
|-
|07/29/2022
|Commitment Order
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|07/29/2022
|Other
|
|
|
|
|FINANCIAL STATEMENT
|-
|07/29/2022
|Request
|
|
|
|
|FOR APPT OF A LAWYER
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY
|-
|07/29/2022
|Evaluation Order
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|07/29/2022
|Other
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY
|-
|07/29/2022
|Motion
|
|
|
|
|TO CLOSE PRE-TRIAL PROCEED
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|TO CLOSE PRE-TRIAL PROCEED
|-
|07/29/2022
|Transportation Order
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|07/29/2022
|Transportation Order
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY
|-
|07/29/2022
|Evaluation Report
|
|
|
|
|FROM ILPPP
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|FOR TREATMENT OF INCOMPETE
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|TO CLOSE HEARING
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY
|-
|07/29/2022
|Transportation Order
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|07/29/2022
|Evaluation Report
|
|
|
|
|FROM [[Western State Hospital|WESTERN STATE HOSPITA]]
|-
|07/29/2022
|Letter
|
|
|
|
|FROM [[David Heilberg|DAVID HEILBERG]]
|-
|07/29/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY
|-
|07/29/2022
|Notice
|
|
|
|
|DISPOSITION NOTICE
|-
|08/05/2022
|Motion
|DEF
|
|
|
|FOR [[Autism|AUTISM]] DISORDER DEFERR
|-
|08/08/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|FOR CONTINUED CUSTODY
|-
|08/09/2022
|Order
|
|CVW
|
|
|
|-
|08/10/2022
|Transportation Order
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|08/08/2022
|Waive Right To Indictment
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|08/09/2022
|Order
|
|
|
|
|
|-
|08/23/2022
|Order
|
|CVW
|
|
|
|-
|09/01/2022
|Letter
|
|
|
|
|FROM DBHDS
|-
|}

===Gallery===
<center><gallery>
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 29 July 2022.png|29 July 2022, Indictment to Grand Jury
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 29 July 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png|29 July 2022, Indictment to Grand Jury, Pleadings/Orders detail page
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 5 August 2022.png|5 August 2022, Motion to Pre-trial added
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022.png|9 August 2022, No Indictment presented, continuance
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 9 August 2022 Pleadings-Orders.png|9 August 2022, motion by defense "for autism disorder deferr" [sic]
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 11 August 2022 - Pleadings-Orders.png|11 August 2022, the Pleadings/Orders detail page, which previously included information under Remarks, is censored by court staff
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 11 August 2022.png|11 August 2022, a review of Chris's case is scheduled for [[August 2023]]
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 11 August 2022 (2) - Pleadings-Orders.png|11 August 2022, Pleadings/Orders detail page, showing "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order"
File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 22 September 2022 - Pleadings-Orders.png|22 September 2022, Pleadings/Orders detail page, showing some updates noted on the case file, including that a letter was lodged from The Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services (DBHDS).
</gallery></center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu Saves Chris Chan from Prison to Fight Clyde Cash & Liquid Chris!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-BCDY1xWcUM}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2021]]
| maker = sheWIND
| subject = Chris in jail
| type = Animation
| info = "Christine Weston Chandler, aka Chris Chan, mayor of Cwcville, is rescued by the demential merge after going to jail for hurting Barb by Sonichu to have a final battle against some of his strongest trolls, Clyde Cash and Liquid Chris!!"
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = chris chan in prison
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Yq3D_ohKXw}}
| stardate = 3 [[January 2022]]
| maker = Antonio Prola
| subject = Chris in jail
| info = "......you know the how expression too many cooks spoil the broth? Well t- this was too many crooks! Too many CROOKS! TOO many CROOKS! And that ED page is one of those crooks. Every page. Every word. On the discussion page. Is a crook."

}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Congratulations Chris Chan, Animatic with Voices
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FZlxWjymXso}}
| stardate = 5 [[May 2022]]
| maker = nathanwagnervo
| subject = Animatic
| info = Sonichu musically telling off Chris for ruining his own life.

}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan in Ace Attorney
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bBeZYyu0vR0}}
| stardate = 3 [[August 2021]]
| maker = Tails is dissapointed in your recent decisions
| info = We're in for quite the ride, aren't we?

}}

==Fan Art==

<center><gallery>
File:-Category-Sonichu-.png
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[26 December 2014]]
*[[Post-Merge Era]]

{{Notes}}

==References==
<references/>
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{PrisonSaga}}
{{Law}}
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]