{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She threatens to kill me in her episode [sic] of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age {{Age|1941|10|1}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interpreted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. <ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>
===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>[[Cutco]]</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris at least until [[April 2011]].<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

As of June 2014, Barbara was still able to walk at least short distances, and was much slimmer than she had been in the past, no longer the morbidly obese blob that she was several years prior. As of June 2014, her posture and movement suggested that she suffered from osteoarthritis, or some other joint problem. Also, her legs and arms were quite thin and stick-like, as if her muscles had been wasting away from lack of use. This information suggested that Barbara's physical health was continuing to decline as of June 2014. {{cite}}

By August 2014, Chris was again begging for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>; however, "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped make the living room uninhabitable, and generally turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is - or rather, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|was]].<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, obstensibly due to the conditions at the Chandler house. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

In a May 17, 2011 email to [[Jackie]], Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and threatening to kill him.<ref name="jackie26" />

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in five videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two more videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas from a decade ago. Another video of her was shown as a [troll] who had been attending the [February 2014] Hearing, filmed her and Chris walking out of the courtroom.
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Robert Simmons V

2015-02-10T02:10:28Z

Fredinno:

{{Template:DeadLinks}}
[[Image:Sonichufan1985.jpg|120px|thumb|right|A personal drawing of Rob from Chris.]]
[[Image:RobertSimmonsCommic.jpg|120px|thumb|left|Robert Simmons V, in comic form. A very rare sight - a [[JERKS|male]] in a [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]], aside from Christian himself, portrayed positively.]]

: ''"Robert" redirects here. For the Chandler family patriarch, see [[Robert Chandler]].''

'''Robert Simmons V''' (born [[1985]]; a.k.a. '''Sonichu1985''', '''Solidus Chris''') was an [[Trolls|anti-troll]] who befriended [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on [[YouTube]].

He put on his act copying [[Autism|aspie]] traits pat, with a [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] of his own (really just the classic [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] colored yellow and with no [[Sonichu]] tail), talked in a [[BILLY MAYS|loud monotone]], liked ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' (and very kindly wished that CWC would also have Sailor Moon for a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]]), and performed a song he wrote for Chris-chan, complete with a sequence in which he heroically smote to death [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] and the [[Jerkops|Robotnikjerks]].

==YouTube==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|UtlMYYvEsvU}}</center>

The events that took place in Robert Simmons' life also coincided with Christian's life, from account hacking, to getting the medallion taken. Robert Simmons seems to have a slightly disturbing relationship with his sinister cousin Andrew Simmons I, who is not a good actor, that seems to parallel Chris's own Fem-dom/Male-sub kink.

Robert Simmons V also appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] in the radio interview with [[Jiggliami]].

By 21 [[February 2009]], Robert Simmons V had taken down all of his videos and changed his profile to announce:

{{quote|I decided to remove all of my videos because I have come to the realization that Mr. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is a horrible person. It took me awhile to understand that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] did not slander Chris but rather was telling the truth. From lying to his fans about the [[Nintendo]] deal, to his perverted ways, I cannot bring myself to be a fan of [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]] anymore (not to mention he doesn't even bother to update anymore). My only regret in this whole ordeal is that I wasted my time trying to defend such a [[Ego|self centered, arrogant]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]] asshole. As my cousin said it himself about Chris "What a selfish Cow, bottom line lose some fucking [[Obesity|weight]], God Dammit!"}}

<center><gallery>
Image:RobertSimmonsV1.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV2.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV3.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV4.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV5.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV6.jpg
Image:RobertSimmonsV7.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Church visit==
{{main|Church audio}}

On 15 [[March 2009]], days before [[Emily]]'s date, Robert and another troll drove to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Chris's church]] uninvited. Robert goes up to Chris while the other troll remains in the background. Introducing himself with "Hi... I'm Robert," Chris recognizes him and they start talking.

Robert accompanies Chris to church, highlights from the audio include, [[trolls]], Chris's sweetheart search, ''[[Family Guy]]'' and [[homos]]exuality.

==See also==
*[[Liquid Chris]]
*[[Andrew Simmons chat]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/CompleteFailure2 Robert Simmons videos re-uploaded]
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PTQYVRZL Videos in FLV format]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)
*[http://stream.wellimean.com/cwc/ Abridged church audio]
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?iwldnjimezz Full church audio]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simmons V, Robert}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Talk:Saga

2015-02-07T21:53:57Z

Fredinno: /* Tomgirl Saga vs Calling Out Saga */

Kim Wilson

2015-02-06T05:21:13Z

Fredinno:

: ''"Kim" redirects here. For Chris's blow-up doll, see [[Kimmi]].''

[[Kim Wilson]] is a [[gal pal]] of Chris. She was first mentioned in [[Kacey Call 1]], and much of what is known of her comes from references in the [[Kacey calls]]. In [[2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris at 10 P.M.<ref>[[Kacey Call 8]]</ref>

Under the moniker [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum] (her YouTube username<ref name="Kacey 1" />) Kim served as a judge for the [[SingStar Challenge]],<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July]]</ref> where she voted in favor of [[Solid Chris]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eNmvI0DZjI]</ref>

Kim is a regular commenter on Chris's [[Facebook]] page. She is something of a [[white knight]] for Chris, but unlike some other white knights such as [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] she sometimes challenges him on some points and tries to better him (thus far unsuccessfully) through criticism. Anna, who mindlessly agrees with all of Chris's deranged ideas, harbours an intense dislike of Kim because of this blunt and constructive approach, and the two are rivals of sorts - Anna even falsely accusing her of being a troll. However, Kim's frank, take-no-shit efforts to improve Chris have resulted in her being the most well-liked white knight in proximity to Chris among trolls, often telling Chris exactly what the online masses want him to hear.

==Introduction to Chris and Kacey==
Prior to the Kacey calls, Kim had been emailing Chris, helping him get into [[Liquid Chris]]'s email account.<ref name="Father">[[Father Call]]</ref> In an attempt to establish that she was not a [[boyfriend free girl]], she told him she was with a tough dude named Logan, and together they had two German shepherds.<ref name="Kacey 1">[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref> Irrespective of this, Chris typically still thought Kim liked him, and asked Kacey to ask her what she thought of him, despite having stated "I respect her space very much."<ref>[[Kacey Call 3]]</ref> After Chris gave Kim's email address to Kacey, the two became friends.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

==Interactions==
In [[August 2009]], Kim asked Chris to share his [[PSN]] information with her. He happily surrendered his username and password, resulting in his PSN account getting hacked.<ref>[[Kacey Call 4]]</ref>

By [[September 2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris. It was Kim's suggestion that Chris get a [[sports bra]] for exercising, prompting Chris to purchase one.<ref name="kaceycall7">[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> That month, Chris also sent her the pictures of him with [[Hambeast]], as well as the infamous picture of him in the sports bra.<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref><ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref> He also told her (inappropriately) that he had an insecurity over [[penis]] size.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> While Chris ignored her suggestion to do a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 22]]</ref>, he would in fact later cosplay as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. She tried to get Chris to give her his [[PS3]], under the guise that her boyfriend was a professional who could debug it, but failed.<ref>[[Kacey Call 18]]</ref>

It was Kim who told Chris that [[Regina]] could just be "a whole bunch of misunderstandings", instead of a troll.<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>

==Attempts to improve Chris==
Like Kacey, Kim actually tried to get Chris to improve his life. She was asking Chris to eat right and [[exercise]]<ref name="kaceycall7"/>, to stop [[sigh]]ing and saying "whatever", take his Lego city apart<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>, learn to play the guitar<ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref>, and gave him a mock job interview, in hopes that he'd find a job.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref> Chris obliged none of her requests.

==Real-life encounters==
Kim may have already encountered Chris by the spring of [[2009]]. In a chat with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] from [[April 2009|22 April]] Chris talked about meeting [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] at the mall along with a girl named Kim,<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref> although whether it was Kim Wilson is unknown. The only information discernible about the Kim mentioned in said chat is that she was not previously familiar to Chris (he had a slight trouble recalling her name) and that he was somewhat sexually interested in her ("[Kim] was cute and sexy, but I still remain devoted to my Sweetest [[Ivy]]").

At one point, Chris met Kim (Wilson) in person, going to an Applebees with her and Kacey.<ref name="Father" />

On [[June 2009]] a number of [[Chris's Big Night Out|videos of Chris interacting in public]] were uploaded to the YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum], which, as Chris has confirmed, belongs to Kim.<ref name="Kacey 1" /> Another series of [[Chris's Big Night Out II|similar videos]] was released by the same account on [[July 2009]]. However it is not known if the girl heard in Chris's Big Night Out part I and II is Kim, or whether or not she was even present during the filming of said videos.

If that the girl featured in Chris's Big Night Out is indeed Kim, then part II was shot long before its release in July 2009 - the girl in the video mentions hiding from Chris the fact that she's in a relationship, but Chris was under the impression that Kim had a boyfriend named Logan a month before the video's release - 15 June 2009.<ref name="sorry" />

==Mentions in videos==
In [[June 2009]], after Chris created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', an upset Kim forced Chris to create the apology video
''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', in which Chris insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Kim claimed to be upset because her boyfriend had a gay brother who lost both his arms in Iraq,<ref name="sorry">[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]</ref> the veracity of which was never confirmed.

Chris mentions Kim in his [[August 2009]] video, [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]], in which Chris states that Kim brought it to his attention that his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] of [[Liquid Chris]] was too harsh of a punishment.<ref>[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]</ref>

In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], made on 14 [[March 2010]], Chris mentions that he shares with [[The Wallflower]] a female friend, whom he nicknames Scarlet. Seeing that Kim's YouTube username is ScarletSanctum, this is likely a reference to her. In the video, Chris says that he forwarded to Scarlet the "admissions" of [[Surfshack Tito]], likely referring to the email Tito sent him on the day the video was made.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 3]]: Scroll down the page to see the aforementioned email from Tito.</ref>

In the [[Autism Tutorial]]s Chris made several mentions of a gal-pal of him named "Mic". Considering his [[Naitsirch|fondness]] [[Slaweel|for anagrams]], it is not unlikely to assume that Mic is a code name for Kim. In his first mention of Mic Chris bemoans her unwillingness to move him out of her [[friend zone]].<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]</ref> If she is really Kim this suggest that at some point she broke up with Logan, as Chris would probably not try to take things with the her to next level if she wasn't [[Boyfriend Free Girl|boyfriend free]].

In his last mention of Mic, Chris says that they do not often hang out with each other due to Mic being busy.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]</ref>

==Facebook==
After Chris retreated from public view into his private [[Facebook]] page in 2012, Kim followed him there and made regular comments on his wall. Her remarks are usually compliments or bits of gently proffered advice attempting to push Chris's socializing in a positive direction (though he does not often follow them) or occasionally some serious criticism (which he never follows).

On 5 September 2012 [[Anna McLerran]] called Kim out as a troll in a comment thread following [[September 2012 Facebook posts#Possible troll|one of Chris's posts]]. Either Chris ignored her accusation or he wasn't convinced, as he continued to recognize Kim as one of his few friends in subsequent updates.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweethearts}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wilson, Kim}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Talk:Saga

2015-02-06T05:14:38Z

Fredinno: /* Tomgirl Saga vs Calling Out Saga */

Talk:Saga

2015-02-06T05:14:27Z

Fredinno: /* Tomgirl Saga vs Calling Out Saga */ new section

User:Fredinno

2015-02-06T05:09:53Z

Fredinno: Created page with "Aka. Inno Innume"

Aka. Inno Innume

Fredinno:

{{Ongoing}}
{{Incomplete}}
[[File:ChrisSonicBoomArms.jpg|thumb|Remember kids: always effect change through vandalism. [[26 December 2014|What could possibly go wrong?]]]]
[[File:PROTESTING SANIC BUM.jpg|thumb|Chris's protest inserts.]]

Towards late 2014, while everyone else was posting on [[Facebook]] about [[Chris and his Ego|less important]] [[Women's rights|political]] [[Chris and race|concerns]], [[Chris]] decided that the most important cause of the time was protesting [[Sega]]'s decision to '''make [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s arms blue''' in their latest non-canon game in the series. He is so passionate about this supposed defamation of his favorite video game character that he has gone so far as to write incoherent, rambling letters to Sega, throw tantrums about it on Facebook, [[Death threats|threaten the lives]] of Sega employees and even personally physically assault retail staff. His angry, incoherent letters to Sega clearly show that Chris's [[Chris and reality|prolonged estrangement from reality]] is at its apotheosis, and that concepts such as civility, moderation and channelling [[Chris and anger|anger]] in any way that doesn't involve ranting like a child throwing a tantrum are by now completely alien concepts to Chris, or at least go out the window whenever he's annoyed. Unfortunately, unlike previous bouts of anger where Chris would film himself or take to social media to rage at his target, in this instance, he decided to take a hands-on approach to it, by vandalizing copies of ''Sonic Boom'' wherever he sees them. This would eventually lead to the infamous [[26 December 2014]] incident, in which he pepper-sprayed a GameStop employee and wound up in jail.

It remains unclear whether or not he will boycott ''Sonic Boom'' or just buy the games and watch the show like the [[Chris and brand loyalty|consumerist lemming]] he is. Given his irrational hatred and acts of vandalism towards otherwise available games, the former is more likely. And it was, because on 13 January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|revealed]] that he did indeed buy both versions of the game and [[List of Chris's lies|claimed]] that they were sent to him by [[Catherine]], making him a humongous hypocrite. This would eventually escalate further into glitterbombing Sega's American HQ.

Why Chris has such a bizarre obsession with such a minor, insignificant detail in the first place is still up for speculation. It could simply be some [[Manchester High School|overly-attached nostalgia]] to the 'original' [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], or possibly some inner-venting for his own [[Sonichu (comic)|failed franchise]]. Whatever the reason, it certainly isn't [[Chris and health|healthy]] for Chris, given his current [[Chris and psychology|state]].

==Protests==
===Sonic's Arms Hatred: The Backstory===
Chris's hatred for Sonic's blue arms started in February 2014, when the first advertisements for the TV show appeared. In December he offered the following chronology:
{{quotebox|3 December 2014

I have just received a question from one of my girl friends: "So, I'm curious, where did you hear about this blue-armed Sonic Issue? Is it something you discovered on your own, or is it a bigger issue in the Sonic community?"

To best answer this question, and to VERY MUCH my visual dismay and further recollection: I HAVE been feeling this SINCE Last February. I needed to search for the ONE Announcement Trailer Video of the DAMN TV Show. I Remember finding it for myself on either Facebook through SEGA's feed, or on YouTube through the video recommendations, on my laptop, as we were moving into the temporary house. I felt UTTER Shock at the sight of the Blue Arms on Sonic immediately as I watched it for the first time that day in Early February, 2014; This Year.

I was too busy and [[Stress|stressed]] from collecting as much as possible from the burnt house, and bringing them either to our Storage Unit, and this house's basement

I had not thought about the issue much, UNTIL Last June or July with the E3 Trailers being presented on the SEGA and Sonic Facebook Pages! Since Then, I have continuously protested the Blue Arms by commenting and messaging them that "Sonic's Arms are NOT Blue!!!" And among which, I have Warned Them that this sort of thing would NOT end well for them, and it was, and still is, a Very Bad Idea!!!

So, in short: I watched the damn trailer last February, I felt Pissed Off Then, I relearned about it last June or July: I Still felt Very Pissed Off, and NOW I am continually Growing and GROWING More Angry and PISSED OFF AT SEGA, NINTENDO AND CARTOON NETWORK AND EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED THERE!!!

I have Contacted SEGA and Commented NUMEROUSLY with MONTHS worth of time. They ignored me, Not Responded or Done Anything about it at all, and therefore the time for Talk IS LONG DONE AND OVERWITH!!! AND WE NEED ACTION UPON SEGA AND SONIC BOOM NOW MORE THAN EVER!!!

Thank you.

<nowiki>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_A3e2bl334</nowiki>}}
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris must ''really'' hate this drawing now.]]
For all the agitation and violence, Chris has never clearly explained exactly ''why'' this particular alteration to this particular cartoon character makes him so furious. The closest he came was in a June Facebook post:

{{quote|I only just heard and seen the ugly change a few weeks ago, and I had too many other [[Stress|stresses]] going on to act earlier.

Why do I feel this way?

The same reason why many people feel [[Chris and race|Michael Jackson should not have had to change his color]]. Would you want to change your skin detail, just for a "change of image" or an "insecurity of self-concept"?

I would not even [[Chris and death|commit suicide ever]], because of how low in self-confidence and self-esteem I have been feeling for YEARS. I'm going to eventually [[Chris and health|pass natural]].

So let's get Sonic's arm color changed back!}}

He returned to the Michael Jackson analogy in November, arguing that "this Blue Arm Travesty is as Gosh Awful as Michael Jackson's whiteface thing!" He was careful to add, "Nothing personal against the Pop Star singer....And nothing personal against anyone of any Race or Color either."

While it is difficult to decipher Chris’s garbled sentences, it is clear that his fury is linked to his belief that Sonic, like all cartoon characters, [[Chris and reality|is real and lives in a parallel universe]]. Like many autistic people, Chris is very resistant to change, especially when it is forced upon him. Chris would not change (“commit suicide”) even in the face of tremendous hardship. Sonic, however, like the King of Pop, was forced to change for trivial reasons like “image.” Sonic has been Chris’s lifelong hero with whom he identifies strongly, so he has taken this injustice very personally. Unfortunately, he falsely assumes that countless millions feel the same way.

At other times, however, Chris has latched onto the idea that the blue arms cause him "sensory overload." [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_overload Sensory overload] is a broad term simply meaning that the body reacts to overstimulation of a sense, but in autistics it generally refers to an abstract, specific sensory stimulus (such as blue arms) which the autistic person is simply unable to stand. However, if sensory overload were a real issue, all he would need to do is avoid Sonic Boom. Chris has never before complained about sensory overload, and damningly has gone so far as to ''draw blue-armed hedgehogs himself'' such as [[Chris and art|some depictions]] of [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. The truth is that Chris believes that Sega is abusing his best friend, and it wounds him deeply.

===The Second Season===
After discovering that the ''Sonic Boom'' TV series was renewed for a second season, Chris posted on Facebook to complain about it again.

{{quotebox|5 December 2014

A Second Season of the ‪#‎SonicBoom‬ show with those, [[Stress sigh|UGH!!!]], Blue Arms?!!! Hell No!!!

Boycott ‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬ With Me!!! Refuse to Watch the channel!!! Refuse to go to their Website for Any Reason as well!!! And TELL THEM TO PULL THE DAMN CARTOON FROM THE AIR AND FORCE ‪#‎SEGA‬ TO RECOLOUR SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

http://www.gamnesia.com/news/sonic-boom-cartoon-is-very-successful-second-season-confirmed

[[File:GamenesiaSonicBoom.jpg|220px]]}}

===Spreading the Good Word===
{{quotebox|5 December 2014

Also, Spreading the good word around; commenting and messaging others as I have? Copy/Paste the following short-but-direct message, with the link below:

SONIC'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE, AND THEY SERIOUSLY CAUSE SENSORY OVERLOADS IN ME!!! SEGA NEEDS TO RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

FOLLOW ME IN BOYCOTTING SONIC BOOM, UNTIL SEGA WISES UP, RECALLS EVERYTHING AND CHANGES HIS ARM COLOUR BACK, NOW!!!

Join My Group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]], and Sign Our Petition NOW!!!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/fixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA/}}

===Greatest Mistake Ever===
{{quotebox|7 December 2014

Follow My Lead to Force SEGA to Wise Up and Fix Their Greatest Mistake Ever!!!}}

Chris later on posted a link to this post to his Facebook group:

{{quotebox|
EVERYONE! I am going to hand-write to SEGA about this matter, and I have just called their 1-800 number and left a message last night. I will call again middle of this coming week if they do not call me back.

I am urging everyone in the group to write and/or telephone SEGA as well, and INSIST and DEMAND upon them to Recall Everything Sonic Boom, including the cartoon and video games, and Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately!!!

Suggest for them to do the following:
-Recall ALL remaining stock of the Sonic Boom Games and Merchandise from ALL of the stores carrying them.
-On the eSHOPS, IMMEDIATELY change the initial software to reflect Sonic with his original Tan Colour Arms, as well ALL video and imagery therein on there.
-Replace ALL of their imagery and videos on their official websites and pages to reflect Sonic with the original tan colour arms as well.
-IMMEDIATELY create NEW game Cards, Discs AND Inserts with Sonic's original tan colour arms. And on the software, the arm colour MUST be there INITIALLY; BEFORE any downloaded Software Updates.
-INSTILL downloadable Software Updates for all of the already sold games to reflect Sonic Initially with tan colour arms as well.
-REMOVE the Sonic Boom Cartoon from the Television and Internet airwaves, and change ALL of the Season One Episodes for Sonic to have his Original Tan Colour Arms, and Initially make that default in ALL following Seasons of episodes, including the Second Season.
-AND They Must Announce this Recall and Update, As well as Apologies to Every Individual Person who Has Found Little to GREATEST Offense in the new Arm Colour, IMMEDIATELY, WORLDWIDE BROADCAST AND IN PRINTED MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS EVERYWHERE!!!

Also, copy and paste the following true statement in your letters and telephone conversations:

"The very sight of Sonic's Blue Arms makes our ally, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, suffer from consistent Sensory Overloads. Upon seeing them, his brain immediately shuts down into a momentary to lengthy (depending on how long he is forced to displeasingly endure the horrific sight) state of mental paralysis. Combined with his Autism, he only gets more angry as each day passes with this pair of blue arms still remains. Either the Change back to him having tan colored arms happens IMMEDIATELY, or he and our THOUSANDS to MILLIONS of allies in the Sonic the Hedgehog Loyal Fanbase will only get more Angry and Outraged to the point of coming right over there to your office and doing something Very Bad there."

Also, if somehow you have managed to receive a copy of either Sonic Boom game (no questions asked), you should SMASH the Game Disc and or Game Card, and enclose the pieces with your Letter to SEGA of America. To show them that we are Very Serious and Passionate towards Rectifying their mistake in changing Sonic's arm colour.

Below is their address, and Customer Support phone number; LET'S GIVE THEM HELL AND BACK IN FORCING THEM TO WISE UP AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

'''[REDACTED]'''

‪#‎SEGA‬
‪#‎SonicTheHedgehog‬
‪#‎SonicBoom‬
‪#‎Nintendo‬
‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬
‪#‎GameStop‬
‪#‎ToysRUs‬
‪#‎WalMart‬
‪#‎Target‬
‪#‎BestBuy‬
‪#‎WiiU‬
‪#‎Wii‬
‪#‎3DS‬
‪#‎DS‬
‪#‎DSi‬
‪#‎AmyRose‬
‪#‎Tails‬
‪#‎Knuckles‬
‪#‎Robotnik‬
‪#‎Eggman‬}}

===Pickle Joke===
[[File:Black man in pickle suit (1).jpg|thumb|right|The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]'s reaction.]]
In Chris's new "FIX SONIC'S ARMS BACK" Facebook group, Chris posted about the pickle joke in the show, surprisingly being "neutral"
about it. Naturally, however, he eventually suspects it to be a [[Chris and his Ego|personal insult from SEGA]].
{{quotebox|10 December 2014

I know well I said not to talk about the show much, or post any spoilers. This time, though, I am willing to make this exception.

I have heard that in the show, Sonic ordered a sandwich with no pickles, but is served the sandwich with extra pickles. I feel neutral/indifferent about the joke. But my friend read a bit into it as a possible reference to myself, as well as a possible middle finger gesture to me from SEGA. Being Serious and Sincere, no sarcasm or jokes: what do y'all think/feel from this lame pickled vegetable joke? Answer in the comments of this post.}}

===For Christ's and God's Sake===
Chris shared another of SEGA's Facebook posts, this time about introducing the main character, and Chris as usual complained about his blue arms.
{{quotebox|12 December 2014

For [[Chris and religion|Christ's and God's]] Sake, PLEASe CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

[[File:SonicIntroduction.png|220px]]}}

===E-mail to SEGA===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris contacted SEGA Customer Service via e-mail about Sonic's blue arms, noting a "HeXBox -Loving INTERNET TROLL" that impersonated him before. <ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2014-dec-12-chriss-e-mail-to-sega.6462/</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|'''Ticket #137668: SONIC'S ARMS ARE. NOT BLUE!!!:'''
Hello,

Thank you for contacting Sega of America Customer Service. Your request (#137668) has been received, and is being reviewed by our support staff. Response times may vary, but typically you will hear back from us within the same business day. Our agents are on hand from 9AM to 5PM Pacific Standard Time, Monday through Friday (with the exception of US national holidays). Requests received over the weekend will be answered the following Monday.

To review the status of this request and add additional comments, follow the link below:

http://help.sega.com/requests/137668

You may also reply via email.}}
{{quotebox|
'''Chrischansonichu, Nov 20 00:07:'''
Listen, I DID NOT contact you initially with the message there. That was a HeXBox -Loving INTERNET TROLL PRETENDING TO BE ME.

But since I have your attention now, I will bring it up directly with you now. MONTHS NOW, Sonic's Arms Being Blue has SERIOUSLY BEEN BOTHERING ME! They have caused me sensory overload Every Time I see them! They Have To Be Changed Back Now!!! I have contacted SEGA via their Facebook page, as well as the Sonic the Hedgehog Facebook page. Please see attached screen cap photos.

PLEASE RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM RIGHT NOW AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK!!! Or I will Do Worse!!!

I am still Very Pissed Off that no one has Fixed the Monstrosity that is Changing Sonic's Arm Color! I am Boycotting the Sonic Boom Games and TV Show and the Toys, minus the two I bought to illustrate my point, and everything else of it.

FIX SONIC'S ARM COLOR NOW, or I CONTINUE TO RANT, RAVE, BOYCOTT AND COMPLAIN!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!! IF I FIND EITHER SONIC BOOM GAME ON ANY SHELVES IN THE STORES, WITH SONIC'S ARMS STILL BLUE, I WILL BE GOING SOO FUCKING CRAZY TO PREVENT EVERYONE FROM SEEING THE BLUE ARM MONSTROSITY!!!

DO YOU HEAR ME, SEGA?! I WOULD TOTALLY BOYCOTT A N CHANNEL AND ENCOURAGE EVERYONE ELSE TO DO THAT AS WELL!!!

WISE UP NOW AND RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM NOW, and maybe I would close the group and the petition and give y'all my money as well.

AND THIS IS MORE THAN JUST SOFTWARE UPDATES!!! YOU RECALL ALL OF THE WIIU AND 3DS GAMES, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE GAME INSERTS, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE INITIAL SOFTWARE DISCS AND CARTRIDGES, PRE-UPDATE!!!

AND PULL THE CARTOON AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THE N SHOW!

AND RECALL ALL OF THE SONIC PLUSHES AND FIGURES FROM THE STORES, AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AS WELL!!!

DO IT ALL NOW, OR THERE WILL BE SERIOUS SENSORY DAMAGE AND THEN SOME HELL TO PAY!!! }}

===The forces of [[CWCville]] besiege [[GameStop]]===
{{Main|26 December 2014}}

On 26 December, Chris broke several laws by entering a GameStop from which he had been banned, vandalizing a Sonic Boom display, and ''macing an employee'' who was calling security as Chris left the store. All of this was recorded by a presumably bewildered bystander, and was uploaded to Tumblr the next day. Within two days of his attack, Chris was incarcerated in Albemarle Regional Jail, then released on a $2500 bail, with a hearing scheduled for early 2015.

===Chris, Catherine, and Sonic===
{{quotebox|4 January 2015
[[File:C:\Users\kes\Downloads\image.jpg]]
}}

===Chris hates Sega for forcing him to attack===
{{quotebox|8 January 2015
,,,,,

}}

===Chris Rages On===
{{quotebox|12 January 2015

Off my rocker?! How Dare She? My Protest was Sound, Valid and Meant to be Good. And she completely ignores that on the day I had to defend myself from that Ass Manager, HE VERBALLY ATTACKED AND OFFENDED ME. And I had no idea of what other pains and stresses He was capable of doing, and I did not want him following me either. You All Do Not Understand my Fragile Mind, nor do Any of You All have Any Caring Nor Understanding to Leave a mentally scarred, damaged and flawed individual like me Be and At Personal Peace of Mind. BUT HELL NO! YOU ALL KEEP ON STRESSING ME MORE AND CAUSING PLEASANT DAYS GONE BAD ON ME. Especially MOST OF EVERY LAST MALE IN THIS WORLD; All of you are nothing but immature, borish, uncouth, and damned Neanderthals. It is no wonder why a lot of Women detest the lot of you, and why I am Most Disgusted and Ashamed to have been forced to be born a damned member of your Male Gender. Hmpf!
}}

===Chris Gives Up and Continues On at the Same Time===
{{quotebox|13 January 2015

This is in response to the post below this one about the so-called list of my purchased Nintendo software. Direct to the point: I have sincerely NEVER purchased either Sonic Boom game. The 3DS game, however, was actually Hand Given to me as a Gift from my ex-girlfriend, Catherine's Cousin, Al, after out bowling outing in Early December, 2014; Last Month.
I have registered the 3DS card through my Club Nintendo account, and explicitly told them in the survey that game Was Gifted to me; I Had Not Purchased it, period. And I Had shortly after received a copy of the Wii U Game In the Mail. I had disposed of the envelope, because there was no return address. I Would have registered that as well, but there as NO Club Nintendo code enclosed. I have Never booted or played either game, and I certainly never have inserted either card or disc into any of my handhelds or consoles at all ever. And to spare having it quoted in the comments below this point, or in any future comments and posts in this group or on my page: Being Gifted the thing you are protesting against against your initial will, regardless of acceptance out of being polite or whatever, it does NOT Change my position or aynthing integral of the Protest that I Have personally started and still am working towards the cause, period.

SEGA!!! CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! YOUR BLUE ARMS HAVE HURT NOT ONLY ME IN A NUMBER OF GREAT WAYS, BUT COUNTLESS OTHER PEOPLE (GREATER THAN A THOUSAND INDIVIDUALS) AS WELL!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR LACK OF RECALL AND CORRECTIONS!!!}}

Here, Chris is referencing this[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-01-13-nintendo-employee-reveals-details-of-chriss-nintendo-transactions.7042/] Cwcki Forums article; apparently he lurks the forums frequently.

===Something Important===
{{quotebox|16 January 2015
I have something important to share of importance. After the incident on the 26th, on the court date on the 29th, the judge had documented that neither I, nor Any local GameStop stores or employees, come near or contact each other. I Have not contacted or visited any of them, but the day after on the 30th, One of them called My Cell Phone, TWICE, on the 30th, the day after that court date. I have Not listened to either of their messages; I had marked both of them "As Read". They both were just automatically removed from my voicemail list. But I screen capped the details from my phone a few days ago. I've had the numbers of the four GameStops, for any inquiries I had to make in the past.

Anyhow, They have violated the Court Rules there.

[[C:\Users\kes\Downloads\File:10915343_10152489674955916_7044121442582006012_n.jpg]]
}}

===You Dropped a Glitterbomb on Me, Baby===
[[File:GlitterbombNotice.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's hatred for something so minor becomes greatly unhealthy.]]
On 30 [[January 2015]], a document was leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]], revealing that Chris has taken one step above macing employees and is ''threatening to glitterbomb'' Sega's American headquarters. Initially thought to be work done by weens, Marvin the Forum Member eventually stood up and confirmed this actually is Chris's doing.
{{quotebox|SEGA of America Inc. 350 Rhode Island St, Suite 400 San Francisco, CA 94103
'''For Every Week Sonic the Hedgehog's arms remain blue in the "Sonic Boom" Video Games AND TV Cartoon Show, and that you all at SEGA continue to NOT Public Announce your apology for the change as well as RECALLING Everything of this Sonic Boom to change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately on Television, Newsprint and Internet Posts and Videos, you all will receive a sparkling mess. And to stop this glittery combination from coming in, you WILL Change Sonic the Hedgehogs Arm Colour back immediately in EVERYTHING Sonic Boom, including PULLING the cartoon from Cartoon Network to change the arm colour back in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of the show.'''

'''Thank you.'''}}

The document reveals that Chris refuses to stop committing acts of battery unless a multimedia company gives in to a 30-year-old manchild's threats. Considering his other recent wrongdoings, this most likely won't end well for Chris in the [[February 2015]] trial. It also shows his complete lack of knowing what glitterbombing actually ''is''. To glitterbomb someone is to throw glitter on your opponent in public, ''not'' sending envelopes with glitter inside.

===References===
<references/>

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Weens

2015-02-01T07:28:34Z

Fredinno: /* Chris is still the undisputed trolling champion */

{{Articleofthenow}}
Rounding out the unholy trinity of [[white knights]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]], '''Weens''' are several times as annoying as the previous two combined. A corruption of the phrase 'Epic Win' (and also not to be confused with the [[wikipedia:Ween|experimental group]]), weens are wannabe [[trolls]] who attempt to recreate the success of prominent trolls, but generally just embarrass themselves due to their lack of originality and wit. In other words, they're the hyperactive preteen cargo-cultists who annoy the everloving ''fuck'' out of non-weens with their [[random-access humor|complete lack of talent and humor]].

Still confused? Maybe a video or two will help get the point across.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}} {{#ev:youtube|4yUUi2Qco5Q}}</center>

==What Weening consists of==
[[Image:epicweentrolling1.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT WEENS ACTUALLY BELIEVE]]
[[Image:Furniggersmustdie.jpg|thumb|Typical ween art.]]
* Elaborate trolling plans.
* Prank calls to Chris's house. Double dumbass points if it's just to scream "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAY!]]" into the phone.
* [[A-Logging]]. While not all weens are A-Logs and vice versa, the vast majority of these dumbasses are both. The original A-Log was as much of a ween as an A-Log, what with his unfunny ''MST3K''-style "commentaries" that made the rest of the commentary community do a collective facepalm.
* Facebook stalking.
* Scathing e-mails.
* Terrible fanfiction that wittily deconstructs ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' as a saccharine dystopia. Sorry, folks, but ''[[Asperchu]]'' already did it; it's time to move on.
* Terrible fanfiction that focuses solely on murdering [[Sonichu]] characters. (Double points for focusing on the slaughter of [Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Rosees])
* Terrible fanart of ''Sonichu'' that attempts to be wittily macabre by making it even more [[Sonee & Rosey|grotesque]], [[Episode 21|gory]], or [[Episode 17|perverse]] than it already was.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where the regulars are known to congregate.
* Spouting tired old Chris memes in places where most of the members won't be familiar with Chris at all.
* Making frivolous or exaggerated claims of Chris's misconduct to sites like [[eBay]] or [[YouTube]].
* Spoiling Chris's legitimate attempts at participating in [[Chris and contests|contests]] or e-commerce.
* Any kind of trolling plan, really. But most notably,
* Breaking the [[Chris and the Law|law]] in pursuit of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]], such as vandalizing Chris's property, illegally recording telephone conversations, or dishing out [[death threats]]. We shouldn't have to say this, but for fuck's sake, people, '''DON'T DO THIS.'''

==Why you should avoid weening==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|[[The Miscreants]], grateful to get away from all of the weens leeching off of their hard work.]]
Yeah, yeah, we know what you're thinking. You're not one of those try-hard [[BlueSpike|13-year old boys]] who think that screaming "'''JULAAAAAY!!!'''" is the height of wit. You have a great plan to really get under Chris's skin and bring back the good old days and whatnot. While you may in fact be that guy, 99.9% of the time, you should just shitcan your trolling plans and move on with your life.

But why?

===There are much better targets than Chris===
If you're willing to put that much effort into trolling Chris, why not use that effort to choose a better victim? As much as the [[CWCki]] makes light of his [[Semen|odd]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|behaviors]] and [[Chris and his Ego|personality]] [[Chris and anger|flaws]], Chris isn't even ''close'' to the bottom of the barrel of internet scumbags. Neo-nazis (looking at you, [[4-cent_garbage.com|/pol/]]), abusive lovers and parents, scam artists, hate groups, social justice warriors, zoophiles, and other assorted shitbirds are much more deserving of concentrated trolling than Chris will ever be.

Even if you don't give a shit about who the trollbait is as long as you get maximum laughs, the Chris of today (as discussed below) just isn't as amenable to trolling as he used to be. The amount of effort you would need to put into piercing his layers of white knights and paranoia would be staggering, to say the least. Even if you do manage to bypass these obstacles, what left is there to do to him? Anything amusing about him has already been extracted from years of trolling and information gathering. All that is left of him at this point is a withered husk of a lolcow. As much as you may try to milk it, you'll be lucky to get a few cobwebs and specks of dust in return. With that in mind, you may as well just spend your time on another lolcow who hasn't been inured to years of deceit yet.

For most aspiring trolls, the only reason to pick Chris over any random Internet jackass is because he's famous and you have a ready-made audience available to appreciate your supposed fine trolling efforts. But that's just you being lazy, not some trolling mastermind.

===The best trolls are chosen by fate===
With a couple of exceptions, the greatest trolls didn't mean to get into professional trolling. [[BlueSpike]] didn't even intend to create the [[Julie]] character; he just rolled with it when he saw an opening. [[Clyde Cash]] was an emergent meme and later a collective identity that spread from Chris [[Ryan Cash|jerking around his fanbase]]. [[Vivian]] used to be a sincere white knight until she got [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|fed up with Chris's antics]]. [[Liquid Chris]] started out as a YouTube nobody who later found out he was surprisingly good at doing Chris impressions -- and then was later noticed by Chris out of the blue. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] thought that he was making a page on a run-of-the-mill lolcow and had no idea of the clusterfuck he was about to create. And [[Ivy]] had no idea that Chris was going to latch onto her so hard.

The biggest factor in whether a trolling plan is successful is flat-out luck, so stop trying to force your shitty trolling plans down Chris's throat.

==={{CURRENTYEAR}}'s Chris is not as gullible as he used to be===
Granted, almost no one on Earth is as [[naïve]] as Chris was, circa 2007-2009. However, Chris himself has actually learned that when he's contacted by people claiming to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] or [[Vanessa Hudgens]], chances are he's just being trolled. In fact, the naivety of the younger Chris has been swapped for an extreme paranoia, to the extent where he's even turned down attempts to get in touch by people he actually knew at high school or [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]]. Needless to say, he no longer responds to any random dork who contacts him, meaning that most trolling plans will fail to even get off the ground.

===Your idea is probably not original===
Quite frankly, it's probably been done before or better. It's pretty much impossible to top getting Chris to believe that the [[Miyamoto emails|President of Nintendo]] was interested in his work, or that there was a [[Liquid Chris|dang, dirty imposter]] whom everyone else thought was the ''real'' Chris and stealing his richly deserved fame. By and large, most modern trolling plans tend to be some minor variation on something that's already been done, like 'what if we got his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]]?' or 'what if we got him to see another stock parody of his comic?' Essentially, if the trolls have already done it, then Chris has already seen it, too.

===Weenery discourages Chris from producing and justifies his victim complex===
Most of Chris's content came from a time when he believed he had lots of fans and everyone, barring a few trolls here and there, loved him. Constant epic weenery has made him think of himself as a victim who won't be able to do anything without being harassed. As a result, he's wised up and become far more private, meaning barely any content for us.

It is also worth mentioning that Chris produces better content by himself rather than due to being harassed by weens.

===If you fail hard enough you will become a target for trolls===
While A-Log is ''the'' touchstone for trolling backfiring on the troll, it's important to remember that he would've never attracted the attention of the internet if he either toned down the vitriol or didn't comment on so many videos. It was thereafter a fairly obvious leap in intuition to assume that someone with that level of monomania and hysteria had some skeletons in their closet of their own. By the same token, obsessive or excessive weenery is akin to plugging in a big neon sign that points the trolls straight to your collection of Goku x Anne Frank slash fiction and dried catskins.

===Even if you succeed, you may regret it later===
Sometimes, trolls that somehow manage to succeed in extracting lulz from Chris may end up getting more than they bargained for. [[Liquid Chris]] is probably going to have to fend off accusations from people outside of the Chris-Chan bubble of tormenting an autistic virgin for his own amusement for the rest of his life. Even when [[BlueSpike]] turns 30, people are still going to think of him as the crazed, sadistic pervert who willingly listened to a [[slow-in-the-mind]] [[mass debate]] for hours on end and made him cram a clay medallion up his ass.

To add to the irony, people who didn't intentionally mean to upset Chris are still getting unwanted attention from weens. How much money do you want to bet that [[Adam Stackhouse]] dreads seeing another 'you prevented Chris from raping Megan, congrats!' message from some unoriginal ween? Do you think that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] enjoys seeing herself as a nubile anime blonde who exists solely to torment a [[virgin with rage]] every time she or her students uses Google?

===Chris is still the undisputed trolling champion===
Lest that we think that the current drought in content is because of a shortage of trolling triggers, late 2013-early 2015 would easily have given us the biggest windfall in content had Chris not given up on making frequent videos. From Chris learning that both [[Catherine]] and his [[gal-pal]]s were fake, to him flushing down his [[eBay]] and commission money on [[Lego]], to [[Destruction Of Chris's House|his house going up in flames]], if Chris had his old enthusiasm for content creation, we'd be utterly spoiled.

In fact, even in the "golden age" of trolling, many of Chris's most fondly-remembered moments had little or no active involvement from the trolls. To name just a few examples, Chris spilled the beans about his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] during an IRC chat about a mostly unrelated subject. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] came out of the seemingly innocuous act of Chris [[House tour|videotaping the inside of his house]] and putting it up on YouTube. The events of [[28 October 2011]] would likely have taken much longer to come to light if not for Chris himself posting pictures of [[Michael Snyder]] and various other details to this very wiki within hours of him getting home from jail. Chris has [[Sonic Boom Protests|raged wholeheartedly]], [[GameStop Assault|vandalized store property and even maced employees]] due to ''[[Sonic]] Boom'' having Sonic's arm colors being changed, a change that was made by professional video game designers unaware of his ongoing hatred for it. And one can only imagine what on Earth possessed him to not only draw [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], but to post it online and proudly proclaim that it depicted Megan, one of the few real friends he's ever had.

Chris is so good at turning his own life into a rolling disaster that not even the return of Clyde Cash could top how he's trolling himself. So just sit back, relax, and [[CWCki|enjoy the show]].

==See also==
* [[Trolls]] - Examples of doing it right.
* [[A-Logging]] - Examples of doing it wrong.
* [[Michael Snyder]] / [[Adam Stackhouse]] / [[Mary Lee Walsh]] - Examples of doing it by complete accident.

[[Category:Trolling]]